The Dick Show - Episode 486 Dick On Grocery Stars

Episode Date: January 11, 2026

Downsyndrome flashcards, my truck slowly breaks down, USPS tries to ban illegal truckers, a bunch of Twitter accounts get doxed, a fat woman has two pieces of cake, Somalians autism epidemic, robot prisons, making ice cream cones with your feel, and Intellectual Property; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!

Shit works today. I got a good feeling about today. Well, it's the good thing I started recording so Mr. Reddick can listen to all this. Did he comment on anything? No, he didn't comment again. We scared him off. Check, check. Yeah, that sounds great. Shined a light and scare away all the roaches. Oh, my God. Johnny. Ah.

You heard that, all that noise, right? I did. If I'd have known then What I know now Be a much different Sunday over here I'd have gone on One more bender

If I'd have known Then What I know now I'd have gone on One more bender Maybe two I might have gone on two more benders I might have said

Ah Fuck it What if you just went on like a Really long bender Uh, one? If I go on one really long bender? Like a three months long. Now? My wife said to me, I don't know why she said this.

She goes, well, you know, I just realized that we can't party again until, uh, you know, uh, he's out of the house. The baby's out of the house. I said, fuck, you're right. I never thought about it like that. Thanks for, thanks for phrasing it like, thanks for phrasing it like, thanks for screaming it like that honey. Thanks for... Thanks for...

Out of the screaming pan into the fire, man. If I don't know then, would I know? I would have said, ah, it's only midnight. Why am I going home? Why don't I stay out forever?

If I had known then. Ah. What did I do the last weekend of my life? Got drunk, passed out at 10 probably, maybe even earlier. That was a mistake. There's stuff that can keep you up all night at the gas station.

I've seen it. Wasted night. Wasted night. That was my last... What did I spend my last night on Earth doing? Sleeping! What a mistake I made. Oh, is anything...

It's moving. It's going. Yeah. Is this going? Death by Poppers, Rip. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's going. Sorry, Mr. Reddit.

Sorry to check the stream like that on you. Welcome back to the Talking About Nothing show. I would have said, you know what? I do need to stop at the gas station for cigarettes one more time. If I'd have known then what I know, I'd have said, no, I'm not going to smoke tonight. I would have said, yes, I do need you to stop at the gas station so I can get every pack of cigarettes at the store and smoke them all from now until I'm dead. Even the Virginia Slims, man. My wife threw her back out at a baby dance class.

So we're down to half a parent around here. Oh, no. Why did you? What kind of moves were you doing? Yeah, was she learning baby dances? Fucking baby Zumba class? Like, why are you fucking Brod's doing a baby Zumba class? Can't you just do babies sit around having coffee class?

Why are you doing a baby Zumba class? He goes, that's fun. Not so fun now. I don't know how. She says, I don't know how it happened. I said, I know how it happened. It's a fucking baby Zumba class you retards are doing with a fucking baby with a fucking 15-pound baby strap to your fucking stomach bouncing around doing Shakira's shit, you idiots. God. It's like that women laughing class. There's a women laughing class? That women like witches standing there. Oh, yeah. Why don't you go to one of those? You're going to need it. I think I got cursed by a witch

Oh my God I said it was either your You know what we got My wife got a Oh man yesterday The $100 a day thing Not even close I blew through that thing

Like a fucking Stop sign in the middle of the night I blew through like a stop sign in the middle of the day middle of the day out in the middle of nowhere right through it like a homecoming game pshaw we went to ikea you know it's great about

i fucking love ikea you know it's great about ikea you get home and you take all your shit out and then it just looks like you're there and everything looks nice like it's like oh that's nice that's a nice place to live way better than my shitty house where i live oh wow that looks like a nice office in a kitchen and stuff they even have a podcast area now i said i don't think i can

I don't think I could buy any of this stuff For my podcast Let me tell you I went over there and I said Can I speak to a manager? Because this is not This isn't how you do podcasting What you guys have here?

I'll have you all know I need a dumpster For all the beers You get home You take it all out You put it up and it's like Oh okay It's just like I don't know

I thought like you buy that stuff And then you get home And you do it And your house looks better But it's the same shitty house. Now you have just like obvious IKEA, one piece of obvious IKEA furniture. It's like this looks even worse. At least mine looked like just stuff I found on the side of the road, you know? Well, it matches in its own way. When you have one thing, IKEA, you have to have everything

IKEA. Otherwise, it looks like crap. Yeah. Yeah. And then I did the, I put together a bookshelf. I managed to get all the way through, all the way through the day without fucking up. And I said, I'm going to pour a nice celebratory drink because I didn't fuck up today and the baby was not screaming all day. It was amazing. He's turned the corner. I'm going to have a nice little drink

while I put together this bookshelf. Everything's going smoothly. And I go in the back and it's like hammer in the nails on the piece of paper on the back thing, right? To make sure it doesn't wiggle around. I said, you know what? I'm going to ordinarily, I skip this step. What do I care if the bookshelf wiggles around?

I put in one nail, you know? Put one nail here just for show. Just to like say I did it, right? I'm gonna say, I said, this is for my son, I'm gonna put in every fucking nail in the bag. Wham, wham, wham, wham, wham, wham, wham, wham, wham, wham, wham, wham, wham, wham, wham, wham, wham, ah, cheers. Toast to me. I stand the bookshelf up. Every fucking thing was in backwards. So the particle board shit was sticking out.

I said, no. Come on. And for a moment, I consider driving back there and saying, hey, you guys, you gave me the, first of all, the paper that you gave me was all ripped up. Like someone yanked it out and pulled all the nails out and all the boards the the melanide on the front like the white pan on the front Someone had obviously pounded nails through them. So I'm gonna need you to replace this. Yeah, some asshole Manufactured this wrong. Somebody tried to put this together in the factory in Turkey. Do you see like do you see how much off gassing that's happening in my house? Well, I walked in and the light was off and I almost walked into everything. I got I'm off gassing a dresser here. I'm off

Casing multiple rugs. This is an epidemic. Yeah. This is an epidemic. It's getting closer to where this is looking less like a podcast studio and more like a... Storage. We should be playing mahjong back here with all the lights off. Just red light only.

So I said, you know, fuck it. I've had just enough to drink to think this is a good idea. Pop! Pulled all the nails out. And now it just looks like crap. I'm like, well, son, you can look at this for the rest of your life. And you see, that's my dad. Fucked up.

fucking nailed it through the front and instead of having particle board facing the wrong way which is itself a fuck up he pried out all the nails fucked up all the nails and the front pulled all the little holes out and they're fucking dead on

you know usually you go you miss one and it goes stuck sticking out like the top or the bottom and you're like eh you know be careful around that one right these were dead on had to yank them all out it's all torn up now you can tell.

You should have left it out front with a free sign on it and bought another one. Maybe I'll do that tomorrow. When my money meter... Yeah. I'm fucking... I'm gonna make a money meter. That's only gonna stress you out more, man.

If you can physically see a money meter, you are gonna... That's the only thing you're gonna watch from now on and you're gonna fucking lose it. I'm gonna make it a picture of me like in doom. You know? Like he goes...

It's all fucked up. The more, the closer it gets to $100, it's going to have like 100% health, you know? And then it's a dollar sign instead of a heart. Oh, right? And then if it goes below that. Skellington. A skeleton. Dead.

Dad is dead. From too much credit card. Presenting. Uh. She threw a back out, so all the husband's at that stupid. Zumba class are at home going, fuck, I don't want to do this. You bitch, you better not. Yeah!

Welcome to me dick. You want Dick, you need a dick, you love Dick, you got it. It's a show, Rivens a Contest Committee live from Mount Mugger Deep and the Harded Studio Failure. I'm your host, Dick Mason. Joining me is Johnny the audio engineer. Thanks for having me, Dick. What's up, man?

Man, I found a solution. Go ahead. I found a solution this morning. Okay, what? In a serious bout of rage. Yeah. So, I'm falling asleep. Mm-hmm.

And my fucking phone goes off. Twice at one in the morning On fucking Shabbas of all days Technically Sunday morning at this point I go This better be the work text I'm expecting I look over And it's a text from someone I hadn't heard from

In a long time About work shit Okay And he goes hey man At 1am Yeah he goes hey ma'am Do you still work for the software company I'm like

I didn't even respond Yeah And I was like you're gonna ask me some tech questions Oh one a ham fucking one in the morning. I know you're probably older dude, so he's probably like, oh, I finished up all my things for the day. Now I can start fucking around on the computer. And he's like, I know, I'll hit this guy up.

And so I had the shittiest text written out, and it hit me. Yeah. Oh, just a Venmo request. Here's a $500 Venmo request that says for waking me up at one in the fucking morning, not during business days and not during business hours. For a company I don't even fucking work for. Saturday at one in the morning. And then I get a...

And you're not going to get very good tech support at 1 a.m. on Saturday. Yeah. Or Sunday morning. And I started laughing because I got a... Sorry for bothering you text afterward. And I said, uh-huh. That is exactly how I'm going to stop all of this from now on. That's great.

If you want something from me at a time where I don't... I'm not even... I'm trying to fucking follow. Send it. Yeah. Yeah. Here you go. Venmo request.

Yeah, let me just hop out of the club and, you know, see what, see what's on your mind. Let me see what I can do to help you about something that's a basic part of a different software entirely. Fucking asshole. So. Sorry for bothering. Yeah. So it's the $500 Venmo request. If you get that fucking, hey, could you help me.

Yeah. Hey, is it important or not? Yeah. Is it important or not? If your time is so valuable, you need to fuck my time up at goddamn Saturday at 1 a.m. Yeah. That's fine. Take it.

It's gonna cost you. What a piece of shit, man. So that's a solution for everybody. So, oh, get this shit. You know, it's been raining. It has. It's been raining here. These fucking idiots, they put new siding on my house because the old one was all chewed to shit.

The dog chewed it up when she was little. Everyone I tell that to, they're like, what? The fucking dog chewed up. They put it on, they didn't paint it all the way, then it rained. Alright, well, great, so it's ruined. Uh, uh, oh yeah, so um, I was going to drive, um, to IKEA and back out of the driveway and I'm like, whoa, my car feels weird. I haven't driven it that much though, so maybe I'm just not used to driving it, right?

And I start going forward and like, man, something is really, something is really weird about what's the one of the one of the ones. What's going on with my car? It feels really like... Like, like... Lucy Goosey. It feels like... It feels like you're switching drivers in Mario Kart, you know?

Like, you switch guys. You're like, wait a minute, this guy's all fucking weird. What's this? What the hell is wiggling all over the course? So I hit the brakes. I'm like, all right, what's something's going on? I hit the brakes, and I hear a sloshing water

like a... Like a wave pool. Oh, my God! What the hell was that? right? Looking around my wife's like, what's wrong with you? I'm like, shush shush, shush, shut your mouth. Shush. And so I go again, I'm like, okay, it's weird feeling again. And then I hit the brakes again and go, oh shh. Like, all right, where's the water? Where the fuck is the way? Look in the back? I'm like, is there any water in the back? She goes, no, there's no water in the back.

Like, where's all this fucking water? So I opened the door to try to find the water. I opened the door and like, there's a hole in the door or all This water starts pissing out of the car door, which is just like totally full of water. You gotta drain those. Totally full, you gotta drain your car doors now. You have to drain your car door. So I'm sitting in a house that's just full of, that I've got six box fans going to destink and off gas, like basically everything, rugs, clothes, the soap I bought, stinks.

It's all being made in Indian, Pakistan. I buy towels and I'm like, oh, I see the tag made in Pakistan. Oh, great. Let's see what factory in Pakistan smells like. Mmm, chemicals. It wasn't, I've got, I have to cover my basically new, it's seven, eight years old,

but it probably has about 14,000 miles on it. I have to cover my new truck with a tarp so that the frame, doesn't fill with water. There's like no room left for me anymore. It's just, it's maintenance that we didn't have, we didn't ever have to do this a long time ago. Welcome to Mexican fatherhood.

Dude, welcome to Mexico. Welcome to Mexico, China. Welcome to Mexico, Pakistan. Fuck. There's little, there's little things like this that are lost in the America, first like offshoring manufacturing debate and that is

you know all these facts and figures get thrown around but my argument is hey uh I had to drain water out of the inside of my fucking car door why I don't know because they don't really give a shit about that in Mexico

or the towel that I'm using to dry myself off stinks like chlorine. Why? Because they don't give a shit about that in Pakistan. I got a new rug. I got another new rug at IKEA. When they had out on display, it didn't stink at all. So I said, great, load the fucking, load one of these. I'll load it up in the car. Throw it in the truck. Throw it in my waterlog truck. Let's go home. I get home, cut it open. Stinks. Perfect. Wonderful. Fire up a fucking box fan. So I can distinct another rug. Off gas, another rug. I was going to say, you know why furniture stores are always in those big ass warehouses,

so the volume, you can't smell the off gas. I'm going to move outside. I'm just going to move all my shit outside. I'm going to live off to land. You need one of those open floor plans where all the doors open outward, and you could, or they'd like roll up. Yeah, roll up the whole house. Knock a hole in the ceiling.

I'm just so fucking tired of this. That's what's missing in the debate. Hey, like, hey, all this offshoring really costs a lot of money and stuff, and all these, the people in India, they're not paying Social Security. So it's actually pretty fucked that the people, if you can get a job in the U.S., you're paying Social Security Medicare, but if the company offshores your job, they're not paying shit. Like, yeah, that's true. But also, if I call the bank because I want to cancel a credit card and an Indian picks up, I just hang up. But if I get that sweet sound of a black lady, oh, man, I say, Oh, sugar child. You're gonna, I know you're gonna help. I know you're gonna help. It's the little things. It's the little things.

We were taught never to give our banking info to Indians over the phone, right? So when you call the bank and get an Indian on the phone, I go, you have to be fucking kidding me. Stranger danger. Yeah. Like, what's to stop them from going, hey, cool, now that I've been writing it all down. Oh, they fucking down. Yeah, they do it all the fucking time. It's like, fuck that.

They're constantly selling that shit. Constantly getting caught doing it too. as I'm off gassing I don't even I don't even like that I There's a term that I know for getting chemicals out of my You've accidentally become a VOC expert Dude I've become a purity of essence guy

I'm straight up fucking purity of essence Peace on Earth my manly essence is being intact by these fucking chemicals And it's it's really Pissing me off It's really pissing me off That I'm fucking off gassing Oh, I'll get a new wallet. Oh, great.

I'll just leave it outside for six to eight weeks so it can stop stinking. Another box arrives after I get home from IKEA. Oh, great. Well, why stop spending money now? And my wife goes, oh, great. It's like a play thing that I ordered for our son. It's like a mat, and it's got these arch,

and I said he already has one of those. Classic baby. No, no, no, no, it has, it's like a mat that he can go play on. I said, he's got a mat he can play on. He goes, no, no, it has these arches that have little toys. I'm like this? You mean this one? That, this one that somebody gave us already?

She goes, no, no, this one's way better. I'm like, okay, yeah, sure, it's made out of wood, right? It's made out of wood and glass and stuff that doesn't stink. She goes, yeah, exactly. So, okay, then I'm, then I love it. Then I love it. I've taken a new thing. I do a new thing now where I just say the opposite of how I feel.

And it really works. It really works wonders. I love it. That's a fantastic thing that you did. So I take it out of the box. I'm like, okay, yeah, Matt. All right, wood stuff. Yeah, fucking 10 pamphlets on eco-friendly.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then there's these flashcards. And she's like, oh, yeah, these are great. Because the flashcards, they've got, like, pictures of real people on them. because that's better for the babies, not cartoons. I said, well, that's good. I don't want them to be like some anime weirdo. Let me take a look at these flashcards.

I tear it open, pop up the flashcards, and I said, hey, what the fuck is this? Flash card right on top. Real picture of a retarded baby. That was for the parents. I said, why is there a Down syndrome toddler? Why is there a Down syndrome toddler? So I either get stuff that stinks.

Either I get stuff that makes. that makes my house smell like the vat that the Joker fell in in Batman 1 a stink factory or I get pictures of retarded babies

you know kind of to 80s girl's point though is it is better for babies to look at like actual pictures of things I'm sure I'm sure

why is it a down syndrome right because what's he supposed to oh wow that's a little bit that's a little bit peculiar One of my friends who works in like developmental and like basically retarded kid shit. Yeah.

Was saying that she needs to like one of her things is to reform all that because they've been teaching these retarded kids to count plastic coins. Yeah. And fake money. So then when they see real money, they're like, they freak out. This isn't real money. It confuses them more when they see real money. So that they've been systematically like fucking up these like already. fucked up kids like all these decades and so like I didn't really I didn't even consider that to be a thing

but it's like yeah you have to because she was like well yeah what about the 50 state quarters like now you have so much variety in the wild and then you have this fake fucking plastic bottle so you taught them so you teach them occupational lessons of like how to how to be employed at a movie theater counting coins which they're never which no one fucking has yeah yeah counting coins and then they get to the real world and see the metal and it freaks them out. This is totally different. Totally different. Like everything about it is like, you know, it's like fake pennies.

They're like, here's your fake penny. And it just says like a big one on it. And it's like, well, there's a shit ton of different pennies out there. Because they don't understand. Yeah. Metaphors. This is great. Because they're fucking retarded.

Like it's fucking crazy. But I had no idea. And I was just like, wow, I've been enlightened a little bit today. So she's like going into the occupational training things going, hey, you got to get this plastic shit out of here. Oh yeah, it's like a whole like platform of like reform. And I thought it was fucking hysterical because I'm like, damn, like, who uses cash? Were they sending these kids to the ghetto? Well, just as like a like a, hey, here's like Bay, like the most basic shit in the world. They got a staff that. That would be funny though.

A whole theater like all downtown is staffed by retarded people. Yeah. That I would, if someone was doing that, if I would vote for it. If one of these city council goes, you know what, we need we need to help retarded people and what better way to do that than to give big tax incentives to every business downtown you swipe your card

it's like going to round one right you swipe your card and you get a certain amount of plastic coins you can even trade in something they understand right and then if you run off

with the fake money it doesn't matter because it's fake anyway but yeah so at least Did you see Elon? Oh, at least your baby was getting to see real pictures, but like, pictures of retarded children? What the fuck?

Why is it right on top? Why don't you bury that down? Like, is this like the Joker in the deck? Am I supposed to throw this one away? What the hell is this? What the fuck am I? What the fuck is, what's wrong with you? Like, I know exactly what's wrong with you, right?

Like, oh, wow, well, we need to, we can't put a baby in a wheelchair, but so I guess we'll use a Down syndrome one. It's like baby tarot cards. It's like, oh. You got the Down syndrome baby. Like, yeah, you're going to have kind of a retard day today. Like, oh, damn it. What am I supposed to be teaching him? I mean, this is funny, kid.

There you go, uh, yeah, I mean, that's, uh, oh, you got to go, hmm, you got to try to, you got to try to stop that. You got to, you got to not do that, okay? Basically, your whole life depends on how good of control you have of that reaction. Ugh. That's a guy we're in a dress. Oh. Was the guy wearing a dress and counting plastic money? What's the guy?

I don't know why it's so fucking funny to me. The fucking dance teacher, he was crying, and I was like, oh, Dinaldo. He's, he's calling him, he's crying. He's being an asshole. She goes, oh, that's cute, but let's make sure it's not in a racist way. I'm like, what are you talking? What the fuck you're talking about? Do you not see my last name?

First of all, I'm racist. Yeah. I don't know. Let's just get that. Let's just get that out of the way. We don't need to dance around. You might not see any indication of it because I hide it. Because I have to hide it.

Or else I'll, you know, because you guys will kill me. I get it. You know, I understand. I've been racist for a long time. So you don't have to worry about it popping up, you know, out of nowhere. But secondly, what the fuck are you talking about? Racist? How's that racist at all?

I'm Mexican, bitch. What are you talking about? Listen, white lady with dreads. Always them, man. I can't wait for the first principal call. He called someone a ball hogging, uh, N? Oh yeah, no, I taught him. Yeah, yeah.

He was probably used correctly in the correct context. Yeah, how did he, are you sure he said? He said nappy-headed hoax? Yeah. Well, maybe, maybe. I don't know. Let's talk about them. Let's see.

Do I have any funny stuff today? Do you see all the Everyone on Twitter got their like country of origin? I did see something about that. That's funny. And all the like all these manly accounts where Indians like make a man out of you. And all the all the pro-Israel accounts. like the pro

MAGA accounts I guess are all like oh look at they're all like posting look at this look at this other account oh look at this other account and then I don't know if it's did the the DHS gov account the Department of Homeland Security

government account I don't know if it's true but I saw a bunch of pictures of it being from Israel and Grock said it was true but that it was a glitch it's like oh okay I don't know I don't know who to believe. The screenshot looks a little funky, I guess. But now I see that all the government accounts have their locations removed.

So I'm sure that it said it's real. Yeah. There's only one reason. Not hard coded to like the U.S., which they should, would be the smart way to fake it, not removing it entirely. And they're idiot. They've got this total idiot running products. a Twitter now

total fucking idiot he said well we're not what did I write down did I write it down he said we're not we're not putting the location on government accounts because it puts them

at a risk of terrorist attacks I said oh because the government is in every city so I don't know why putting the city putting the city where the FBI is isn't going to help

terrorist attacks because they are in every city you can look them up on the internet and go like offices secondly why are we all getting our location posted then? Yeah. Why is everybody else why are like normal people getting their

location posted? Yeah It's always fucking something, man. It is really. It is really always something. Like, huh. Why? Why?

Why didn't it just, why did it get taken down? Why is everyone posting the screenshot that says Israel? Why are you making it seem so much more guilty than what it would otherwise be? Just ban Indians. Just that's it. Yeah. That's all we, that's what we want is to not have to slog the, through their shit.

I mean, they don't even know what, they don't even know what insults are. Like they're not, I've not seen one use an insult correctly online. Man, have you seen that video, those two guys, like one guy's in a car

and another guy's like outside and he's like, why you walk away like lady? And he's like, all he's like, they're fighting each other and he's like, fuck you bitch,

like, motherfucker, like, mother fuck this. And it's just like, it's like children swearing at each other. It is like children's wearing. It's too funny.

I can't ever take it seriously. It's like this is what passed. Like, I'm sure translated too. It's roughly the same as well. It's like, all right. Yeah, what did Grock say? It briefly displayed based in Israel

during Twitter's new rollout, likely due to a glitch. Ha ha ha. Yeah, it's a glitch all right. I'm sure they got fired for that glitch, too. They are, they're like outs. All companies in government are outsourcing everything to Israel, right?

Yeah. Cybersecurity. That we knew that. Yeah, so, it wouldn't really be a glitch it would be just policy someone should stop someone should put a stop to that the holy Bible

that was one the holy Bible based in India that's 500,000 people following the Bible man I'm so sick of India I just like the more it fucking it's just always this like

yeah but there's no way I miss camera it's like yeah but you're like the biggest fucking liar I'm not a fucking liar could never possibly, and it's like, okay, dude. Like, you're just... Okay, man. Yeah. We know. Like, fuck off.

Let me pull up. Let me pull up my old... Let me pull up my notes again. USPS tried to ban immigrant truck drivers. It went horribly. Oh, my God. I can't believe how many illegals we have driving trucks around with CDL licenses, literal terrorists, with CDL licenses, literal terrorists.

with CDL license. UPS tried to ban immigrant truck drivers and went horribly. Unbelievable. Blah, blah, blah. A bunch of words. The Post Office implemented a policy banning the loading of contractors

using drivers with non-domiciled CDLs. Facilities were instructed not to load trailer haul. Yeah, okay. I mean, that would be a pretty important policy for the U.S. for the federal government, at least, not to use

foreigners for... Well, yeah. Why the fuck would that make any sort of sense? Within days, they reversed the ban, deeming the service

cost impacts too severe for an abrupt change. Like, okay, are they doing it on purpose? Like, oh, we gotta ban them. Oh, fuck, it didn't work.

We better allow them again. When the obvious way to do it is, all right, in, in 30 days, we're going to, like, cut the number in half. In 60 days, in a year, it's going to be banned. So you guys better get, you better get it sorted. You better get the ads up. I mean, you better get this shit. It's a reasonable amount of time to replace everyone.

You got to have a reasonable amount of time to get these guys out of the system. Because either they're, either they're doing it, failing on purpose. They don't have to do it. Or they really had no idea. Maybe they had no idea. I didn't know. I didn't either. I would think guys who relied on freight would know, but I guess not.

It's like, maybe it's like 25%. Maybe it's 20%, 30% of drivers are just illegally driving around. Well, the fucked part is, it's a giant admission to like, wow, we've been using so much cheap labor that when we have to pay people correctly, it fucks our whole business up. Totally fucks our shit up. Yeah. It's like, why the fuck did you get that far away from that in the first place? Yeah.

We didn't understand the magnitude of how many people. Okay, yeah, so maybe they didn't know. I guess why would you look into it? If it's working, you know, you got a ton of other shit to do. Why would you look at it? We didn't understand the magnitude of how many people were using non-domiciled CDLs. And quite honestly, the amount of omits was astronomical. And now I'm not willing to impact service that bad.

You can go back to using non-domiciled CDL drivers. Jesus. So we can't. We can't get off any of this shit yet. It cannot be turned off. It has to be weaned. Every single industry has to wean off of illegals, non-domiciled CDLs, illegal workers slowly.

And we just, we don't have time. Yeah. Oh, my God. That's crazy. Okay, here is... Here's Olivia Juliana's back, you know. Her. My favorite...

My favorite Democrat activist. This is her. This is her. You remember she had the gold plan, gold health care plan, a big fat bitch. Here's her birthday party. She's 23, I think?

Get the fuck. Fuck out. She's 23 and me. Holy shit. That's a big bitch. She's 23 and me. Here's her birthday party. Can you hear it? Oh, hit play?

No. Okay. Maybe there's no sound. Look at this. Two pieces of cake. Oh. Again. Look at the size of this bitch.

Those are the stunt pieces of cake. She ate the whole rest of the... The Pac-Man size round. She ate the rest. She ate the other Like George Jetson's theme song Yo-y-to-de-to-de-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-t The social post Those are the ones from the front

In the display case that they just take around They're like, shit, we brought this part as a joke You weren't supposed to vacuum it all down Shit, I already ate that. Let's get a pick Oh, I already ate the whole cake Oh, well we got two like plastic slices we can bring out But don't eat them Plastics

I mean, you know, I mean, She's eating this Bronosaurus burger here. Jesus. This fat bitch with the gold plan. She ate the, she's gonna eat the can't. They had to take the candle out of the cakes. Did they she she's gonna eat that too? A glass of milk or something too?

Look at that. Someone moves a fucking drink into frame. Oh God. It's Peter Griffin looking bitch. Jesus. Happy birthday. Oh yeah, here's another. truck driver thing. I hope 23 Indians

made her cake. Have you seen those videos of the guys making the Christmas butter cookies in India? That makes me so mad. Me too. Man, is nothing sacred anymore. And the ice cream cones?

I'm like, I don't want to eat any of this shit anymore. It's guys looking like they're using equipment from like the middle ages. Like this giant scoop and they're scooping it in the ice cream cone press and then they're pressing it out. Scoop, scoop, yeah.

And it's just like going everywhere. Yeah, and they just, you know, scrape off the top and then dump them all on the floor. And stack them, and then, like, they're showing their aptitude at, like, stacking them real fast, but they're using their hands. And they're all breaking to fuck out of the bottom. The thing that pisses me off about all that is clearly at one point there was someone who understood, like, how shit worked enough to make all that initially. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And then they're just like, well, this worked. He's one guy going from town to town.

the Wizard of Oz fucking one white one British guy going from town to town That's all there has never been any sort of improvement Fucking anywhere I'm like who built all the fucking buildings Can you guys wash it off? Can you put some cement down at least

Like some tile? My favorite is I saw this one where there's a factory This guy is making candy And he's got a hairnet on But he's using his feet to flatten out the hot sugar fix And I don't I don't believe at all That that those ice cream comes are not ending up in the U.S.

I do not fucking believe at all. They are absolutely, and the package is off-gassing on the way over. You gotta off-gas your ice cream cone now. I'm gonna be fucking sick, man. I'm fucking sick of it. I am so fucking sick of it. This shit, this is be off, man.

I really don't, like, I don't give a, I don't give a fuck about any other, any other policy, policy, anything except fuck all All immigration. Any of it.

We can have as much socialism as you guys want, but the whole country has to be locked down. We can, you know, every black person can get a billion dollars a day. I don't give a fuck, but we have to lock everything down. I don't want to ever hear an accent on the phone again. If I call for customer service, and someone with an accent picks up, I need a special number that's just 9-1 that I can dial even faster than 9-1-1,

and someone who's wearing a Nick Fuentes mask will show up at the company where that's happening and shoot the CEO in the fucking head. I'm so, I'm so sick of this. The off-gassing is it, because I can't, I can't escape it even in my own brain. I'm sitting around my house smelling, smelling foreign policy, just reeking, crawling into my fucking brain. stem through my olifactory nerves and infecting

my head and my thoughts all fucking day, right? That's totally different. We're at a totally different. I can't eat an ice cream cone without seeing some fuck use the

use an ice cream cone press with their feet because they can do two at once. So look at how many ice cream cones I'm making. I'm so sick of it. I'm so sick of it. Well and how the fuck is it cheaper to pay some asshole fucking making foot cones all day and then ship them

to US on a boat than it is to just fucking make it out here. You know how many bugs do I'm shipping back and forth? How is it not just cheaper to fucking make them out of here? Just make it good. Make it fucking here. Clearly you can use a machine from 1920. I don't give the fuck what it costs.

Make it here. Or else. A dollar per cone if they were made out of here. That's it. I mean, that's it. that's the future that's the future I'm about social social yeah sure yeah oh yeah yeah whatever

we'll pay for it yeah but if I call to get if I call for an appointment and there's one if I got to deal with anybody who can't trace there you know well you know it pisses me off even worse than getting an Indian accent when I call my bank by this for instance is he go hello sir this is Nicholas

I'm like your name is not fucking Nicholas It's probably... I'm from Dallas, Texas, really. From Dallas. Yeah, what's a... Who else lives out in Dallas, Texas? Fucking, like... I don't know if I...

Maybe I told this story. I don't know. I was interviewing somebody. And they were, like, out of, like, Ravensport. Oh, you did, yeah. I did tell the story. It's always some bizarre, and it's, like, huge... Where are you from?

Um, from the United States? Oh, yeah, okay. Well, we don't really say it like that. We say, like, L.A., New York. Upstate New York You know That's the only thing They'll stop it

Yeah Just capital crime We outsourced somebody We hired a illegal Okay You're you're dead then You have to eat this whole factory Of ice cream cones

You have to eat the factory All the nuts and the metal and shit You got to eat it all the cement Like the fucking langalears We're gonna open your mouth Put it like in saw And just run you through the goddamn factory until you eat until you're

you either eat it all or you're dead that's it I fucking I fucking hate living here I really hate living here and having this and just the stench of it right crawling into my brain

it's getting to the point where I'm like I miss when things are made in China yeah so I got a new rug and I smelled it I smelled it the next day after the fucking off off gasorama and I'm like

hey it's smells like old carpet. It smells like 80s carpet. That's a familiar smell. Fucking A. I've just rather have the 80s poison back. Yeah. What is this place, this rug

of fine quality? We're fucking done with, I'm done with India and I'm done with Israel. I don't want, I don't even give a fuck anymore about any of the debate or anything. No, the way forward is just enemy. Enemy, enemy, enemy, enemy, enemy, enemy.

enemy. Stay the fuck out. Socialism. Socialism go. Absolutely. Everyone gets free food. If you don't like that, shoot yourself in the head. There's plenty of food to go around, but everywhere out, they're going to build a fucking dome around the country and everywhere else can go fuck themselves. They're an enemy. Absolutely. Right? And if you fucking buy buttercookies from India, now I can't enjoy Christmas because I'm going to be eating the tin of buttercookie just thinking of a thousand TikToks. Like the fucking architect in the Matrix

with all the Indian foot films going on behind me. I don't want some head-shaking-ass motherfucker to be putting cookies in my sewing tins anyway. Like, what the fuck? I don't, it ruined all my... Surely those were once made in America, the butter cookies? Well, they're supposed to be made in fucking Denmark.

I think Royal Dance still does them out there. That's the only brand because I fucking, the other day I was at the store and I was like, there's no way. And dude, at my fucking local grocery store, there was butter cookies that I'm like, wait just a minute. I flipped them, Denmark ones. There's the bootleg ones next to it, idiot. And I said, get the fuck out of it. Trash him. Oh yeah.

I was ready to just become my own TikTok viral sensation. Like Jesus overturning the temples, man. He's like, get all this fucking India's shit out of here. Get all this fucking India's shit out of here. Here's a great, I found a great quirk chungis. Oh, no. Because I'm really... Man, quirk chungis thing is like...

It's a new thing. Well, it's... Because these bitches don't know. It's a more accepted thing. Like, the movement is growing, rather. The movement, we're right on the front of the wave. Of hammering the quirk chungis. Because, you know, there's waves, and then it becomes lame, and then...

Yeah. And everyone goes after the cork chungis, and then eventually the quirk chungis themselves starts, you know. Did we talk about, say, or, like, corchungus's back in time? We did. I love, just the concept of it. It's like, somebody kill this fat bitch. Oh, yeah, terrorists within a CDL.

That's fucking great, man. Well, do you remember in, like, the mid-2000s when it was like, hey, butter. And it was just like, it was either like butter, cheese or bacon, were like the three things to always incorporate. Yeah. Well, I like butter.

Hot sauce. Yeah. Yeah, it's like that very like... I drink a butter with my water. Yeah, it was like... And it showed. But there was like this little like bump of it where it's like, ha. And then I feel like the rise in Star Wars popularity has directly correlated.

Maybe not contributed or caused it. But it's the two things go, hey, it's a good metric. Yeah. Star Wars and Marvel show. shit. The more of that has been more of like this. It made a lot of retarded people. Because movies

and stuff weren't so retarded in the 90s. Dude, I actually think I found my first Disney adult that I'm like, this makes sense. Really? Down syndrome guy. He's doing food reviews. He puts ketchup on everything. I gotta go get that Down syndrome

flash card. What the... How dare you? That's the funniest Joker card I've probably ever. Ah man, I got the How many cards in this deck? Get rid of that. Get rid of that one. 52 cards. Can they replace it? Can they replace it with the normal one?

Hey, something was wrong with my baby thing. The build quality is great, but you know, there was a retarded baby in my car. Yeah, there's a misprint. I noticed a misprint on the set you sent. One of the cards is all fucked up. Yeah, you printed this one with an extra chromosome. What the hell? Can you show me the research that says

I'm gonna do my own cards Here's a black guy listening to music on his speakerphone on the bus But he also has Down syndrome too Yeah Yeah how come the black How come the black one's not Down syndrome? Why has it got to be the white one? I got to complain

You're you have a racist down syndrome You need to be making way more kids with Down syndrome in these flashcards. The whole deck should be black. What's the hell? What's up with this racist deck you sent me? Racist picture deck. Flack Down syndrome versus Down syndrome?

Motherbucker. Man. Well, one of my friends pointed this out one time was do Down syndrome kids have like, or people, whatever, do they have nightmares? But like when they're nightmares happen? Are they still like... Real money? Retarded?

Like, yeah. Like, do they still have... Are they extra? Because you're kind of retarded in your dream, and a normal person's, like, kind of retarded in their dreams. Do they have, like, twice-baked, retarded? Exactly. Or is...

Like, wait a... I can't believe I would be that stupid in my... Sitting by, like, a fire with, like, a big, like, puffy vest on. Or, like, the fucking night thing, you know. They're trying to eat the fire or something. Like, putting ketchup on the fire? He's got a coloring book, and he's putting ketchup in it to eat it. Uh

Hot take Mexican food is overhyped this bitch says See that's quirk chungis right Or is it not? Is it just a tension hoaring That's attention hoaring And it's It's kind of chungus Because it's like There is

There's the hot take alert Which is like ooh this will really get them This will really dazzle you And it's like again you should let everyone else say it's a hot take or not That's the mark of a real hot take. Oh yeah, here we go. Here was the trucking thing. American Trucking Group decided to get illegal truck drivers off the roads.

They tipped the authorities about a hotspot on the I-40 in Texas, known for illegal foreign drivers. After multiple law enforcement agencies launched an investigation earlier this month, they inspected 100 commercial vehicles and 31 illegal drivers. So 31% of the truckers they inspected were arrested. Bro. Are you fucking kidding me? People have got to be hanged for this shit. Otherwise, otherwise they'll just do it again. Oh, and they're gonna keep doing it too.

Be like, can you believe this oversight? It's like, yeah, because you weren't watching, fucker. Yeah, you guys need fear is the only thing that motivates them. All right, let me find. Oh, this is a pretty funny one. Here's ice It's posted as like Look at this horrible thing that happened

But here It's volume to it So these are ice guys, right? No matter where they go, they get mobbed by a bunch of Fucking fat Mexicans Look at all these fat Mexicans behind them Fucking eye puppy Getting messed with, okay, look at the pepper spray

See that? Pepper spray he's got? Here it comes. Oh god. Right in this bitch's face! Holy shit! No warning at all. Watch. Oh, get that finger out of my face.

Damn. Oh shit. Oh shit. Oh shit. Is this real? Yeah, I think it's real. Fuck, dude. They should put this in the recruitment video. Hey, you want to join in? Ice will give you 50 grand and check this out.

Boom! He was like, get that shit out of my face, bitch. Right in this. fucking bitch's face. That point blank just like if that would have been a gun, that whole crowd would have been covered. Yeah. That's crazy. Yeah, let me

play it again. It's so good. And then this idiot she just stands here wincing. She ate that. Bitch, you gotta fucking run. If you got ice fucking macing somebody two feet away, two feet away from you, you've got to get your fucking ass

out of there. Look at her finger. Oh yeah, you were. a fascist. Oh yeah? How about some fucking pepper spray for your face? Some fucking lemon pepper for your ass. A little push. Yeah.

Boom. God damn. God damn. God damn. Fuck you. How much do you want to bet both of them are on social media later? Like we were tormented by ice. Look, he's still going.

Yeah, that's just like a little fire extinguisher. They're all throwing up. Oh, they wouldn't let him back out. Totally reasonable. Not letting you back out. Get out of the way when it comes to car shit. If you're making somebody wait in their car, you're instantly gassed.

You know. They should put gas on the car. So they can just gas, you know? Look like trucker horns, but it's all just fucking bear spray. Let's watch them suffer for a bit. Not so funny now, is it? Don't bring a dog to the pro.

This fucking dumb bitch bringing your dog there? The dog knows to get away from the spray. Yeah. It got real quiet after that. Yeah, I got to see it again. Oh, yeah? Does she even wince? Our hair is blowing

The gust of pepper spray That's a fucking Gale force wind over there It's fucking bitch in her Little Lavender That fucking finger pointing to shit Like I could fucking hit you if I had wild Like oh yeah we'll peep this bitch

I enjoy Awesome Awesome Um, okay. She's absolutely destroying that lady's jacket too. Yeah. Dunzo. Just costing people drag cleaning money, you know?

I love it. Fucking asshole. Oh, yeah. Schools should ban. Let's see, I got Roseanne being a stupid bitch. Oh, Somali. Okay, get this. So all the Somalians in Minnesota figured out that they could just say their, they're, their kids are

autistic and the government would give them free money. Oh, yeah. See, this is what I mean. I'm fine with giving Americans like autism shit, but we got to lock it down. You let in Somalians and then

the, here's, the claims went from, in 2018, $3 million. And then in 2020, they paid out $400 million. Jesus Christ. I think that's, yeah.

Autism centers went from 41, autism centers to 328 autism centers. There's that much autism happening in right? Happening uh group al-Shabab

overseas falsely diagnosing children with autism through Medicaid. So they just say I have kids got autism. Let me get some some of that sweet autism money. Um, okay. Here is I'll play the Roseanne thing and then I got some other funny stuff. That makes me so fucking

sick, man. Yeah. And they don't know, like, there's nothing you can do to make them stop. If the, if the, if, it's like to take one piece of candy at Halloween, right? You put that out expecting people to take one piece of candy, but you take it to Somali neighborhood's gone. What's it? There's nothing that will fix it. And then they're up your ass for pointing it out. Yeah. They don't, they don't have to stop. What would, what could possibly stop them from doing it? Absolutely nothing. They love it. They're incurred, they're probably threatening each other to do it. It's

There's probably some doctor making money saying you better do this or else. You better make your kids do this or else. Yeah. Totally lawless. Evil. All right, here we go. Let's see. Roseanne's crying about the Tucker.

Oh my God. Trump refused to disavow Nick Fuentes. I couldn't believe that. That's funny. He said, well, Tucker could interview anybody once and people got to listen and make up their own mind. I was like, oh. That's true. I can't, wow.

Now you really pissed you with him off. Oh, that's crazy. Okay, here's Roseanne talking some shit about America. I don't know that if America's turning on Israel, then America deserves what's going to happen to him for. It'll be worse for America than Israel. It will because Israel will just move on to India and other countries and America will fall. Not just that. The sleeper cells.

America will fall, and that's what they want. I mean, that is what they want, is that the constitutional republic of the United States for America will fall. But I think Trump sees that. We have to be, America has to be independent of the British Empire, too. And I think that's Israel's independence, too, that we're all separated from that. And that's the octopus. And we're all separated from that.

I don't know. They'll move on to India. How fun with that. The place that they hate most. Have fun. Go scam India. You have a good time. Have you seen all the posts?

Not saying you're not talented scammers, but not saying Israel's not full of talented scammers. Well, have you seen all the things where it's like India loves Israel? They're like, oh, we love, like, huge support for Israel. Like, we love you guys. Yeah. And Israel's like, who the fuck? Like, we didn't ask, nah, keep your dirty rubies out there.

Yeah. We're not ready for this yet. Okay. Here's a trans lady that lost her job. Somebody sent this to me. Oh, yeah, the Elon, so Elon's robot, you know. It's a stupid robots that he's got. Yeah.

He's saying that, um, he's saying that the few, future of prison should be we shouldn't send people to prison we should just make send give them a robot that makes them like if they get guilty of something instead of going to prison they would have a optimist robot that follows them around let me let me play it I hate that so much that's the most retarded fucking idea ever so basically like you know Englewood will just be like robot city right like every that just means like every every black community just has like shit loads of robots.

Well, it incentivizes people. It's like, you mean I get this cool robot guy following me all day? I can dress them up, fucking put a cool hat and some sunglasses. Here we go. It's so fucking retarded. If somebody's committed crime, a more humane form of containment of future crime. Right, right.

Which is if you say, like, you now get a free optimist, and it's just going to follow you around and stop you from doing crime. But other than that, you get to do anything. just it's just going to stop you from committing crime that's that's really it you don't have to put people in like prisons and stuff it's pretty wild to think of the various of all the possibilities but i think it's that's not wild it's clearly it's it's like the dumbest thing what happens if you're like a guy with retard strength and you're built like a

overpower the robot yeah you you just fucking punch its head you're gonna have debo fighting debo fighting the robot motherfucker from green miles just absolutely blowing it to smithering you got to get away from the robot right fighting them yeah what if you I don't think you guys understand who's doing crimes buffer than like you like overpower the robot

it's like the fucking it becomes a challenge now um okay what was the oh yeah the trans one and like anything it's only matter of time for people jail break it so probably like two days

after it comes out yeah yeah yeah now you're teaching it cool fucking greetings and shit uh oh all the all the stuff about crime just misses that one key component

like okay so it's just all going to be downtown's just going to be full of robots there's going to be it's going to double the populations overnight okay this is pretty good this is a trans lady she says

POV using it wrong POV the transgender HR lady is about to ruin your life all right so she just got an HR job. She wants to show off her outfit for some reason. And then she said, I have no idea how the bigots managed to find my place of employment, but cool. Thanks for destroying my livelihood over a goddamn joke. She got her fired for termination of employment.

Dear Evie, we're writing to inform you that your employment with blank is terminated effective immediately. Your dismissals due to violations of our social media and sexual conduct policy. Let's scroll back up The A little higher The I'm sure that's got to feel great Yeah That's all these people

Live for is like Yeah we took these assholes down Look at how great we are We killed that guy Awesome Yeah That feels bad for you Yeah

What do you mean What do you mean I lost my job For doing the fucking Same shit I've canceled I fucking hate all this shit So much

For doing the same shit That's Pretty good tough tities Mm-hmm Mm-hmm Claims Something about Target

I don't care All right Let's read some comments Hey Dickers are watching this week's episode You mentioned that the Bible Doesn't really talk about hell Yeah Doesn't

That caught my attention So I wanted to reach out A lot of mainstream Christian ideas today Are the result of later interpretations That drifted pretty far From what the early apostles actually taught. Well, that's fucking, that's news to me.

The whole hell thing was real big news to me. It's like, wait, then what are they talking about? It's all a scam. Yeah. It's all a fucking scam. All the preachers are talking about hell all goddamn day. It's nothing. It's related to nothing. They might as well be talking about

tarot cards. You're going to hell unless you put this little gold de bloon right in that plate, motherfucker. I served a mission for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. We were focused a lot on the restoration of Christ's original doctrine. I know there are plenty of jokes and memes about Mormons,

but I honestly think you might find some of the restored teachings genuinely interesting. I don't know about that. Meeting with missionaries is super easy. You can just grab lunch with them. No, ask questions, whatever. I really... I'm out of questions.

I don't know. That's a Mormon ployer right there. He's trying to get you to fucking start eating green jello, man. There's nothing I want to know about, except where can I buy stuff that doesn't stink. Right? I don't have any sorts of questions about anything. What's going on here?

Why we're on this earth? What happens when you die? Not interested. Yeah. I pretty much, I got a pretty good idea that I have of all that shit that you guys are interested in. and it's working for me. It's fine. It's fine.

I haven't seen anything that's even come close to making me think, wow, I really need to update this mental model of, you know, the purpose of life. Oh, yeah.

Well, see, Marvin Gay asked what's going on and his dad shot him over 50 bucks. So I've just, you know, I learned to stay kind of in my lane. I've seen what happens

to people that ask too many questions. Squeaky wheel gets the grease, man. Loud and clear. Leads to a lot of drinking. I've got enough of that. So I'm fine. Yeah, good on that.

And if you'd prefer, I'd be happy to answer what I can myself. I'm deep in a PhD program right now. So my brain is a little fried. You got any questions? Not for this motherfucker. Yeah, do you know where there anything is that doesn't stink? Where do they sell the non-stinky stuff? If you'd ever, if you're curious, I'd recommend reading the Book of Mormon.

It's had a massive impact of my life. could do the same for you. I've been listening to the show for 10 years now. I still love it. And man, do I miss Sean. We all do. Thank you for listening. Thank you for the offer. If I have any questions, I'll hit you up. She told me to kiss her where it stinks, so I took her to the Amazon warehouse. Amazon, uh, no stink.com. Amazon, but smells fine. Smells like nothing. When is it? I'm going to get deodorant. It's going to fucking stink like Pakistan. You're going to be off-assing. I have to off gas my deodorant now.

Pure sport? Oh, pure Pakistan, it says on the deodorant. That's what's fucked up about it. Yeah. Hmm. Have you seen all those bootleg? What questions could you possibly... God, why is there evil in the world?

Somalia. Oh. Yeah. I can see it. I see why there's evil in the world. I don't need a... I have no questions. No questions, Your Honor.

He's like, God's like, oh, yeah, there was a reason why India and Somalia weren't mentioned in the Bible. People had questions in the 50s, 60s, you know, when they couldn't just see it.

Like, oh, I see what's, oh, I don't have any questions. I saw a guy making ice cream cones with his feet today. I don't need to know. I don't need to know why God abandoned us. I see it.

I love how there's like no mention of like New Zealand or Australia in the Bible either. Like, they're just like, the Bible only matters to like if you're in that exact

region of the world at that exact time. Chris Peterson. I appreciate the email them. what else isn't in the bible probably a lot of stuff if they're just making up shit like hell man make up fucking anything dude

slip that one by you it turns out there really is a whole segment where there's like in the bible where vegetables start reading the bible and it took like however many thousands of years later for a couple guys to animate that shit yeah oh this is actually biblical canon

Veggie tails is like that makes sense um my sister called me last she said, what are, can you give me some good arguments for like, people who think that we haven't been to the moon?

I said, yeah, sure. Here's like some good arguments. She goes, okay. And then she texts me later. She's like, is there any, what conspiracy theories do you believe? He said,

I don't think I can put that in writing. Chris Peterson's, My wife was hit by one of the Indian semi-drivers last November. Jesus. Yeah. If the USPS can't cancel the illegal drivers, then we have a major problem. It's fucked. That it's going to have to be, that can't be voted out.

We're going to have to make some major concessions with white people and Latinos on the Democrat side. We need enough. We need enough white people and Latinos on the Democrats because the black people never change sides. But never. Because they're like 98% vote Democrat. And they should. Like they get all the Democrat party wants to do is put, because it's easy to say, you can't say we're going to put in Democrat judges and people in power. But you can say we're going to put in black people.

And it just so happens that they always vote Democrats. Smart. I mean, smart for them to vote Democrats. It's a good, it's a good. it's a good relationship, but there's going to have to be some kind of appeal to white Latino and Asian voters on the socialism side. We have to find a unifying force of, do you want this motherfucker making ice cream cones while he's driving down the freeway and trying to scam your grandma?

Mm-hmm. Do you want this guy making, you want to eat ice cream cones that were made with someone's feet? Do you want fucking Christmas butter cookies with fucking toenails in them? What about, but what about, uh, uh, uh, free? buses. Fine. I don't give a fuck about free buses. I don't want to eat ice cream cones made out of feet. That's it. As long as that bus

had zero part in manufacturing India? I'm on. Where was the free bus made? Kalamazoo? Is it Illinois or Michigan? I don't know, but is it America? Yeah. Fine. And where were the free doctors made? Oh, America? Great.

Come in. I will drive the bus for free even if it was made in America, yeah. I'll drive the goddamn bus for you. Free. Safely, even. Free food, free medicine, sure. Everything else gone.

No India. Yeah. No countries to serve with eye. Let's have a no eye, Paul. The lawyer went around in circles before finally figuring out who their insurance was because they gave fake documents. He was deposed a couple weeks ago.

The trial is in February. and he does not speak any English, only Punjabi. And big shocker, the company he works for is based in California. Yeah, it is a big shocker. That makes me fucking sick, man. NiggleVee says, you asked what was happening around episode 60. Your dad painted a car with chalk paint, and we never got an explanation why.

I never got an explanation why. So good luck. I stopped asking for that explanation a long fucking time ago. If you want an episode 60, if you want an explanation from why my dad's doing what he's doing, doing you're gonna be waiting a long fucking time he's like he's like lost dealing with him don't you want to know why I painted your truck chalk uh chalk paint so you could color on it in a chalk nope no I don't I know why you painted my car uh with paint that you could do chalk on

so that you could draw a chalk all over it that's self-explanatory I don't need a bigger reason yeah but there's like a polar bear in your truck now too I don't know why I remember this. Sounds fun though. Yeah, I'm sure he had a great time. It's fucking... No one has more fun than your dad? Literally no one. But no one has more like chaos and turmoil in their lives than everyone immediately surrounding your dad. It's crazy how that works.

What the hell is that sound? K.C. Phil says, realist to keep, pray, love. Let's see. What you got here, Phil. It just says eat, eat, eat. Eat, eat, eat, love. Oh, yeah, this guy, this one. So it's this British woman or Australian woman. She's in Sri Lanka and she's in a little car and she's talking to an Indian guy who's not in the car.

This is what women do. It's called being a fucking retard Sitting there Arguing with a man you don't know In a foreign country That has zero respect for women This is called why bad things happen to women Exhibit 40 million

200 billion Million billion Exhibit infinity plus one Why bad shit happens to women That didn't need to happen? Exhibit infinity million Here we go So she's talking to this guy at any moment she could drive away No

He's saying can I have sex? Now he's jacking off She's still there for some reason Yeah there you go She sat there Back to the start of the day my morning actually started being properly But soon after my mode changed There was a man driving scooter in front of me And he would continually slow down so I'd have to pass him

and then you would speed up and pass the game that keep going on and on not. The first time I smiled at him and after that I kept ignoring him. He turned off and I thought I'd lost him until I pulled over to have a small rest in a drink and he appeared again, got off his scooter and came to talk to me. There was a bit of a language barrier but he seemed friendly so I let him try to talk to me. But then it quickly turned uncomfortable and he asked where I was staying and I knew where it was going. I wish I had read. You didn't know right away?

But I was just in shock. I could not believe he asked me that question and after I said no, he's still with the audacity to expose himself to me like that. I guess this is just another reminder to set aside people pleasing and speak up loudly when things like this happen. Idiot. Just, you should have to pass like a country literacy test. Yeah. Of like, okay, you're going to. This guy wants to talk to you.

What do you do? Yeah. Out of there. Fucking gone. Unreal. Eat, pray, love realistic. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You got to stay in the rich, rich, bitch resorts.

Cameron. PPPG Oh, Powerpuff Girls He said supposedly And allegedly the Power Puff Girl's guy Didn't put himself in the show It was one of their storyboarders Doing it after the fact

So either they knew he was a big creep Or they just wanted to make him look like a huge pedophile To be funny The Power Puff Girl writer Oh yeah That was writing with Haley Mancini That was fucking weird dude Of course she only knows

fucking barnacles, man. Yeah, I don't really believe that because he still wrote the episode. Yeah. I don't care either. Fuck them. Yeah, there's that part, too.

The amount of care I have in that is. Richard T. says, Obestiality. Okay. Which is called When you fuck a hambeast. Is that? Is that the new term for it?

Obestiality. do-do uh coming up with a word giggling to myself and then googling it and realizing that someone already came up with it that's pisses me off oh he he came up with obesityality oh no faties i'm not into

obesityality damn going as far back as oh eight yeah man that's my guy you're like 18 years fucking late for that one damn near i'm pretty sure everything's pretty much been come up with you know the cute little word play and

It's all been come up with. You're good. There is nothing new under the sun, unfortunately. Harness says, Thank you for your candid, unrestrained attacks on immigrants. I was pushed out of my own house. I lived in for 16 years because it transformed into a stereotypical Latin hellscape. Music at 300 decibels all day.

Complete unconcern for property lines, mowing my lawn with children standing and staring blankly at me as I begged them to go away. a place of once ample parking no more when other long-time neighbors saw me moving they knew why

and came over to lament the fall of our once tranquil and considerate neighborhood I had to move in with my father-in-law for six months I'll never forgive them for that fuck that shit uh

shoehorn a plenty pretty sure that fat bitch falling down at the dirt track was from Weber Valley Speedway check the Google reviews for it the best two eighth mile dirt track in America. You should really check out the video of Granny dying and being carried away by a drone.

What? That's got to be AI shit. Aaron Wentworth. The way Dick said, now that's a quirk chung- Now that's quirk chungis, pointing his fingers straight up. Now that's quirk chungis. I like that one. Gwimbley.

The devil tries to tempt Christ in the beginning of the New Testament. it. But my main man, Jesus Christ, just tells the guy to fuck off and stop being an F-sler. Yeah, I mean, that doesn't really qualify as like the actual devil. There needs to be a little more

than that. There's more references to the devil in fucking any Jamaican song than there is in the Bible. And there isn't the entire Bible. So we have a problem. Data, we didn't start the fire as a generational attempt to avoid taking responsibility for their actions boomers are a nightmare also it's worse than you think dick the lake of fire more bible stuff is actually on earth in revelations oh so hell is nowhere in the bible cool hi did everyone know this with me but also but uh but both were just add-ons to try and justify jesus getting crucified and not bringing about the kingdom that

they thought it would oh that they thought he would hmm So it just went nowhere. And they're like, well, because he went to heaven. He was like, man, a lot of shit's fucked up right there on Earth. You guys got a few thousand years started out. Even more disappointing than it already was. The lokes, the slur vape seems like a great invention. You should be able to switch it between different words to use whichever slur is appropriate for the occasion.

That way, if you hit it in public, you say, sorry it wasn't me, it was his vape. Oh, yeah, we did that on the bonus episode. should do another bonus episode let's do it would be nice to do a crossover with Carl we haven't done one of those in a while it would be nice wouldn't it

I wonder what Carl should have to these days would be real nice to do a crossover with good old fashion crossover with Carl WATP TDS WATP TDS Crossover event

over event man I like to let it you know go for a while so that it's like a big deal again when you come around to it that's why I try to split these things up it's like a half birthday

you know or like a half birthday you know yeah you don't know what Carl's been up to do you no idea you have no idea could have possibly gotten called in for an episode yesterday yeah you did an episode with Carl yesterday I didn't hear about it I'm so shocked that's why I'm like what the Me sitting there like

Okay, wait for Dick to come on, yeah, cool. And he's like, all right, here's how the show's going to get. I was like, huh? What the fuck? So we got to do a real book. Why is there a crossover without? I didn't know. I didn't find out about it until Carl responded to the email that this guy sent us as a podcast review on the crossover.

But you did a crossover without me. is more like the what the hell's going on what's what's what's carl trying to pull dude it's raining it's fucking cats and dogs living together man it's the end of times let me find what Carl's this guy

this guy all right let me pull up the email this guy Jack Jack by Dalek he said he sent in to me and Carl he said women podcast think infidelity is romantic.

Yeah, that sounds like a pretty fun thing, right? He sent it October 20th. I had in my, I had, Johnny, you can see that I had it starred here, which means important, right? If I know anything about you and starring emails. This is an important one.

Boing, star that one. Like, I'll get back to that. I can't wait to get on, do a podcast with my good buddy Carl. Do a crossover. I could make, you know, we could both make money, get some crossover fans. The general manager at the jerk store.

I think, I think, hey, wow, I could escape from my, I could pick a day in the middle of the week and escape from my fucking horrible life. And dude, it's just some nice old-fashioned making fun a podcast with my good buddy

Carl. I'll save this. I don't want to tax, you know, I don't go to the well too often. Right. Try to, and make Carl do work, you know. I'll just wait a little bit, but this is good to know. I'm going to star this so I can have it easy to find for later when it comes up. And then this email comes in this morning, as you see from Carl.

What an asshole. This came in eight hours ago. In the morning, he says, thanks, Jack. We covered this yesterday with Johnny the audio engineer, cheers Carl. We, like you were involved in this, too. I wasn't even But he said we I wasn't even asked

Let me Why did I get Calling right now actually He's calling me too Why did I get left out of my own fucking show What the fuck? I thought you were gonna be there Why would it be not

Why would I not be asked That's what's Let me see if I have any Messages from Carl Oh Let me see no I do not have any messages Carl well then what the fuck

and you didn't tell me about it because I figured I was like there's no way he would just reach out to me if this is going to be a TDS thing nowhere in the dick or show does that have anything to do with me I would like to make fun of this show you would have loved it these bitches were stupid

I would like to share it you know with the fans and have some bonus content I thought it would be cool to have another bonus episode next week. Well, I guess Carl had the same opinion. Maybe he reached out to, maybe he hit Johnny at the dick show.com and said a dick at the dick at the dick show.com. I don't know. You know? I don't know what's happening. I'm, again, the look on my face when he was like, cool, I'm like, the whole time I'm like, where's Dick on stream yard? Like, where is, like, I'm like, this fucking guy's late.

Is Carl running some kind of a rug store and he's pissed off that I'm... Pulling it all. Running some kind of an ice cream cone store, making with his feet? If you see it say India, comma, Florida or Rochester, New York on the fucking... Let's see where it's location based out of. If it's India or not, maybe he's upset. Do you not think I would hear about it? You did it. Carl Jeet Hamburger Singh was not pleased with us.

You think I'd read it. be at IKEA or doing a podcast you'd rather be spending money instead of making it instead of making money that's the one thing I mean look this guy even lined up all these clips

now I can't even listen to the clips what am I going to if I have something to say I'm nothing I gotta go start a conversation with a homeless person we're gonna have to do weight washers without him yeah we'll do weight watchers without Carl just only bring Vinny only Vinny Revenge

Weight Watchers. Revenge of the fucking, man. I'm going to have to write Carl up. I'm going to have to censor him. Where's the card, Liz? Where's the card? He got to pull him until he gets a yellow card.

What do they do to Nick? A resolution. I'll have to pass a resolution against Carl. Third. What do they do with Nick Fuentes? Congress did something. They passed a resolution condemning him? Let me see.

Basically the... That's funny. It's basically the highest honor of trolling that there could ever be. That's... I mean, at least that there has been so far. Nick Fuentes talked himself into getting censored by Congress. That's like the principal saying, okay, no more of this shit. Yeah, really.

And acknowledging it. Man, this is pro. This is legacy stuff. Let me... Yeah, yeah, yeah. Chuck Schumers. I'm leading a resolution in the Senate to reject Nick Fuentes. Like, reject him from what?

That's not... What do you mean reject? I reject this. I reject you. Yeah, okay. You don't even reject Satan, really. You rebuke him, don't you? I've never seen reject you in this weird way.

Yeah, was he going out? Was he trying to hit on you or something? I'm pretty sure that... I'm pretty sure we all know what the Jewish head of the Democratic Party feels about Nick Fuentes. I'm pretty sure Nick knows. Pretty sure everyone who listens to Nick knows. Pretty sure everyone who likes Chuck Schumer knows. You know? Yeah, I don't think you need to write it down. Jesus. I'm leading a resolution in the Senate to reject Nick Fuentes in his white supremacist views. Antisemitism and white supremacy have growing? Have growing?

Fucking dumbass. Anti-semitism and white supremacy have growing and disturbing currency with the right. Oh, okay. Have growing and disturbing currency? What the fuck? How are you gonna make a sentence about anti-seemitism with currency as the metaphor?

Like don't you think that's a little on the nose, Chuck? It's just like people writing about... She's put Oi-Ve in there. Yeah. Oi-Ve, the currency of the anti-s... Any other metaphor, buddy. It's like when people write about like fat people and are like, he really ate the comments. Yeah, weighed in on this.

Weighing in on... Anti-Semitism. and white supremacy have growing and disturbing currency. Okay. Can't take you seriously here. We all must condemn anti-Semitism and white supremacy whenever, wherever and whenever it occurs. That sounds exhausting. I just don't have the time.

We don't have the time, buddy. The racist one. We don't have time for this shit anymore. We don't have time for it anymore. The fact that he said currency in his father. He gets a demerit for that one. They should reject. They should reject Nick Fuentes every day.

Every day Congress should sign a resolution. Rejecting Nick Fuentes. It's like a pop-up that's like, do you want finder to allow access to your downloads this folder? It's like, reject. They need a Chrome browser extension. Would you like to reject clear your cookies and reject Nick Fuentes? Oh.

And checkbox. Go to click reject. It moves your mouse over to fucking accept. Would you like to reject Nick Fuentes for the last 24 hours, the last week, or to the beginning of time? Next 30 days, indefinitely. Would you like to reject Nick Fuentes

for the next 30 days automatically? I'll ask again in 30 days. What a totally retarded thing for someone to do and type? That's...

How many... What are there? what other things were not rejected right like as a purveyor of the most retarded shit you can imagine this is pretty far like yeah this is pretty far I mean this is like Hall of Fame

man imagine that he's he's got a hole Nick's got a hole like there's one it'd be cool to have a Trump pardon right? Oh yeah but having a whole Senate resolution yeah rejecting you

man that's cool that's like some video game shit where it's like this one guy, we must take everything personal against him. Yeah. Are you a bad enough dude to get rejected by the Senate? Yeah.

That's cool. He works hard. He deserves it. He deserves something nice. He works harder than me. You know? Deserves it. He's doing a good job out there. Meanwhile, I can't even get crossover episode with Carl. Yeah, you're so busy that you're not even

couldn't even need. Do I have to work my way back up to be on an episode with fucking Carl, precious Carl? Carl's like, Man, we can't have that guy, Dick Masterson, tarnishing our image over here. Yeah, what the hell? Did Carl pass a resolution rejecting me? Well, it was like KFC's 11 herbs and spices, right? Yeah.

It's not that he's keeping them secret because he's afraid of anyone stealing them. It's just because he's ashamed of them. Oh. He's like, I don't know. He's like, for all our characters. Maybe the next one, Johnny. Maybe I'll get. Well, fuck, I didn't know what you didn't get.

Well, now it's got to be two more months. Yeah. Can't do. can't do it right in a row. God. A no-no says Dick, I work at Home Depot, H.Q. in Atlanta.

The entire ninth floor of the building seems like an Indian nightmare. They only hire Indians. Entire IT and cybersecurity departments fully Indians. Yeah, and that guy, that guy that got caught trying to fuck an underage girl

in Vegas, that Israeli guy, he's the one running all of our outsourced. He's the guy who's registering Twitter accounts at DHS. Got that guys. It's either India or Israel. Get it all out of here. It's crazy.

It's probably 80% of every big company. Staffed entirely by Indians who can't even fucking speak English. Or do the fucking work. Oh, yeah, or do the work. It'd be one thing, if everything worked perfectly, if it was 100% uptime, even 99.99% uptime, I'd be like, cool. Amazing. Yeah, but stuff just doesn't fucking work.

Dude, I got a sun spark machine that still has not just turned off. It's still going. That's up time. Yeah. Cloudflare went down this week. It was off for like half a day. Like, this shit didn't happen. Nope.

This shit didn't used to happen, man. Windows 11 is like unfixable. That's funny. Yeah. Because it's fucked. You know what else goes down all the time? The power grid in India. Yeah.

The sewage system doesn't fucking work. Have you seen all the electronics for all their light festivals of like the blinking lights and stuff? And it's just like a big barrel drum. Of like a steamroller with all these like metal prongs on it in like different patterns. And it's just hardwired one switch to one line to or like to one wire to one light bulb. And it's just this like fucking absolute fire waiting to happen every time. The concept of like graceful failure does not exist for them. Like redundancy does not exist for them

It's only lie about it And then keep lying about it Well it's to the point I was talking to my sister about this And I'm like I don't think Like if we had Y2K today I wouldn't say for sure That we could fix it

Before when it happened the first time It was like this is obviously stupid This is obviously overhyped Like yeah They just have to fix the code in time They got plenty of time to do it But if that happened today I would say there's a 50-50

I think They're gonna fuck it up 50-50 because they don't care. AWS will go down due to negligence and then nothing will be able to be deployed and then... And then we're just sitting around in the dark. Then that will finally be the year

that Linux takes off. Okay, super Serbian, bro car truck shopping is fucking miserable. Prices online are made up. Oh my God, they're the worst. You go in... Where's this truck? Oh, well, this one sucks. Yeah.

You don't want to drive this one. They all have one joke car. that they put the price online and then you come in and it totally sucks. It's got like, you know, three wheels or something. By design, you can't put the third wheel on. It looks like a Robin.

The owner's daughter's car. Yeah. Oh, that headlights supposed to be cracked. Oh, you don't want the joke car? Oh. Okay, well, you want the regular car? It's two times more. Two times more expensive.

You're competing with retards on the price. Online prices are made up. Ford selling cars soon on Amazon might be the best idea. ever, ever. Yeah, that'd be fucking great. Carvana is great for selling your car, but I've checked out two F-150s in Carvana and they just lie. Yeah, because they're selling two illegal Mexicans. That's what they're, that's where the car's in of a Carvana. My income has tripled since I bought my last used car in 2017, and I can still only afford to buy that exact model in that exact year

based on the online prices. Wow. Dude, well, when my car got stolen, I went and looked up the exact model. Yeah. year color and everything at the same fucking back on CarMax it was fucking 15 grand and I'm like I bought that shit for six grand Are you fucking kidding me?

Wow God I don't want to even look up my car So I was like you mean to tell me I could fucking make money off this piece of shit And then I was like wait then I would have just enough to go buy that same car Yeah That sucks I could buy something worse

You could get a worse car Yeah Yeah we're fucking Unknaxing. Let's see. Rigges sent something in. All right. Let's see what it is.

Just give me some shit with some fucking crank windows again. The fucking cloth interior. Obama got rid of all those. With that cash for clunkers shit? Yeah. You had to sell all your cars and then they...

I forget what the scam was. But it was a scam. Well, it was to get all the cheap cars off the road. There's a lot of shitty cars involved. But there was a lot of good cars too. but like high mileage like pieces they were great things that could last to that level of mileage oh jeez retro nick says quirk chungus alert okay let's see if it is a quirk chungis

i don't know baby tell them what we're doing today you mama we're going on a hike today is this man life bitch guess who Keep that in mind when you're complaining on the trail. Are we going to get a hot coffee before we go?

Yes, and we're going to go to breakfast. So let's go. Oh, Jesus. I just want to know one thing. How long is the hike? It's like three miles. I think it's under three miles. It's two point something.

Uh-huh. It's like, I don't know. It's trying too hard to be a, chungus, I think. Yeah, I don't know if that's a quirk chungis exactly. It's a chungus of sorts. It's some sort of negative chung.

Some sort of negative chungis I don't like. Not quirk chungis, though. It would have to be a little more like tumbler coated, I think. Yeah, yeah. More annoying. Yeah, that's just like average. Yeah. That's like average, yeah.

Yep, I'm going to say no on that one. Okay. But keep sending them. Absolutely. All right. I got a couple Fat Watches today. Oh, I got some too. Oh, okay. You do? I get this Carl email out of my face.

I don't want to see that again. I don't want to see that shit again. Let me know if Carl wants to do any live shows with you. Well, that's what I'm like, fuck. All right, well, I guess as your fucking booking manager now, Jesus. Not that I'm even to post it. It's just like it would have been nice to fucking... Tom Cruise sent this in for Fat Watch. A very common archa... Oh, yeah, okay.

A day in the life of an agoraphobic sex worker? What? Okay. This is an agoraphobic... Yeah, she does say a day in the life of an agoraphobic sex worker. Well, she could get stuck in the great outdoors. That's a pretty good description of women.

Yeah. agoraphobic sex workers that's like the most that's the most accurate yeah going outside how would you explain women agoraphobic sex workers oh so they yeah

and they and they don't yeah correct correct it's like oh huh huh no further explanation needed yeah three little words okay hi welcome to another day in the live of an agoraphobic S-worker

And she looks just like She looks like Francis Buxton with a pink With a pink wig Disgusting Auntie Fester over here She does look like fucking Fester With a little short pink wig She's got the bags under her eyes too

One the bags under her tits But And a septum ring? Is that with the nose ring? Yeah Uh You ready to get up Let's go

I'm sharing Marie Antoinette Oh my god She's fatter than hell Is she drinking out of a suspension airbag for a car Like what the fuck? Is this a wig? It looks like a wig Like a troll doll wig, right?

She's got a troll doll wig She's got eczema all over her face Her shoulders are shaped like a tombstone Behind her Eggs and eczema All right on her feet Hey y'all already know the drill I take my medicine, I drink my coffee, I take my dump, I take my shower.

I like that the shower was going while she's taking a dump because she's got a hose off. This is a sex worker's smile? Okay. Then it's time to get glam. Right, I am glammed. I got my wig on today, so it's going to be a good day. That is a wig. Right, right.

Hopefully not. If you have a good day, that means I'm having a bad day. I am turning my lines on for the day. Somehow those big glasses are too small. She's got novelty glasses in there. You can see the arms extending their like that. Parallax.

Yeah. So what? She's answering sex worker emails? My lines on for the day. I just got my first call and I made $7. $56. I didn't get it on camera because I was in a hurry. Oh, she's a phone.

sex operator. I'm turning on my lines and taking the first call of the day. Oh, my good God. Oh, no. Ew. That's still a thing. Yeah.

That's crazy. Wow. That's like the most uncle-supported business. Yeah. Who is paying for... Man, I got to hit the fucking phone. Sex line. God damn.

Nervous, but I went in, got my mail. Out of breath. So I got two pairs of nails and a set of eyelashes, my chalk box refill for my Dubai chocolates. And then... A refill. A refill. I got a refill of chocolate.

Not like a, hey, I ordered a couple of boxes. It's no, this is a main stay that I always have them on deck. Dude, look at how fat her finger is. I thought that was a leg. It looks like a cone. Conical. The finger. That, man.

Oh, it does look like a leg. You're right. It's like a gymnast is pointing at it with her foot. Like a ballerina. What the hell is chalk box L.A. Let me see that. A chunk box, Elliot.

Chalk box. My refill. Order chocolate gift bags? She's ordering herself chocolate gift baskets? Oh my God. Bro. Hey, there's 20% off your refill of chalk box.

You fat pig. Holy shit. They found a way to replace the apple and candied apples with more candy. Well, so the joke. is, right? As someone she's naked in bed and has the apple in her mouth,

you could pull it out with the stick. Oh my God. She's ordering $80 chocolate boxes to herself? Just as a little something to take the edge off. If I, anytime I've gone into someone's house and there's a gift basket, they're like, hey, do you want any of the...

It's always embarrassing. Even if there's like the best one, right? Either with the little jellies or honey or whatever, There's all the little things and you're like, oh, cool. Even the fucking best one, which has like, whatever you could possibly enjoy the most at it. You get one little sample of those. The rest is all the fucking garbage that they couldn't sell.

And then it's like you see it and it's like, this has been sitting here since it's like, hey, it's March. You still got that Christmas gift basket? Yeah, like, it's all just like preserved sausage. I can't get rid of it. I'll go ahead and check out. There's another video I'm going to do. Lunch is a chop house salad.

with added tuna fish for protein to... Oh, there we go. It was so fat, it clogged the line. Oh, her lunch is a salad. Right, okay. The full sugar soda. Coke is zero, and I took my life off. I just made $3.78.

I just made $15.12. 7.56. $8.82. And I'm brushing up my hair and taking my makeup off. I'm only on the couch. Why did she have makeup on? 378. For dinner, I'm having this big ass burrito full of leftovers.

Yeah, she fucking is. It's a square, not even a burrito shape. This is the... This is no longer a burrito. That's a fucking pillowcase, my guy. Holy shit. Yeah, boring. Boring.

Boring. It's full of the entire blocks leftovers. There's a turkey in it It's actually a bed sheet She wrapped it all up in God damn Burrito full of leftovers Who

Dude these fat people Who makes a burrito Full of leftovers Like I'll just take whatever is in here And cram it into a burrito No she's fucking lying Because you know damn well There's no leftovers in her fucking house

There's no way Look at the shape of it though What burrito is gonna make a shape like that She holds it and is proud That she created something in her image. Yeah. Boring.

Welcome to Derry on HBO Max. Oh, God. A two-hour phone call with my boyfriend. We're good. We're good. I'm just crazy. He didn't say that.

I'm saying that. And then I just have... God, her real hair is so much worse. It's like Cruella DeVille. You can see scalp there. Look at that line. God damn. It's like Cruel deville got it like

exploded, like a roadrunner cartoon. Her hair's sticking straight and burned off at the ends. She smoked one of those chocolate cigars. In her Dubai chocolate box. Is there anything that screams fat bitch more than Dubai chocolate? That is a chungest purchase for sure, but that's like a big chungest purchase for sure. A phone call, I made $21 after I got the phone with him, so. Love that for me.

I just got a call and made another $15. I know I sound like I'm dying I'm not I'm just saving all my You are You are definitely dying That bitch is dying Dude I mean this is worse than being dead

That you're a big can tank tank Tanker's fat bitch ordering Dubai chocolate Refills From a fucking gift box Phone sex with creeps for $15 All day It's like she's calling tech support all day just talking to Indians on the phone

getting guys to jack off for $15 so you can so you can make a square burrito out of all your chocolate I could not possibly jack off knowing that I'm spending money yeah are you fucking kidding me

what the fuck even a date I'm not it's too much of a turn off I see the dollar amount I see the meters going in my mind I'm like I am going to build that fucking meter

I'm going to hook it up to like a credit card API or something. We gotta take four different pictures of your face and that's like the status. It's like the Smokey the Bear like, what's the fire danger today? Yeah, fire danger. Every time a message, a credit card charge goes through. Grunts in your house and then you go, God damn it,

are you fucking using my card again? I'm going to put the speaker in the wall too so she can't turn it off. Have it come from every direction all at once. I'll put in the smoke alarm. Yeah, this is, this is a clear failure of capitalism. If this is where a person has ended up, making guys come on the phone, being fatter than God, eating chocolate burritos. And she, she bought a- And still putting on makeup.

Yeah, and she bought a salad from Chop Stop, right? Which, they're not cheap. That's at least a $15 thing. and she's adding tuna, but then you listen to the dismal amounts she's bringing in. It's like, lady,

that was like a third of your day on your fucking salad. Like, how can you eat the salad knowing that you have to make a guy come? You should be fucking sick. Yeah, I'd just rather starve to death.

Like, well, here's the, here's fucking four hours of my day. It took to make the fucking change. It took to buy the order of it. You know she didn't go out to get it either. I'm thinking,

oh, she went out to go get. No, no, no, no. Are you crazy? They're all on door toads. dude. All of these fat pigs are in DoorDash. I'm so used to just like putting an order in it and going and getting it myself. Yeah. You know, partially from doing work shit, but it's like

the DoorDash, that's an extra 30 to fucking 50% on top. So this pig spent over half of her daily fucking earnings. Jackoff money. Yeah. And 20 of it came from her boyfriend. Like, God, damn. Oh, God. How skinny is he? Probably. The boyfriend. What color is he? Yeah.

Skinny slash Blime. Come on, what's his name? Give us his name. Yeah. Is it... Is there a number at the end of his last name? Like a third or a fourth, perhaps? Uh, okay.

Man. That's too bad that that person exists. Thank you for sending it in. Yeah, now that my day is a little worse. Davey Gavey has this Instagram thing. What? What do you mean open an app? Okay, I'll click a button

Probably just lost my account Tess Holiday is standing on her statement about Body positivity Is this She's still around? Talk about healthy at any size Have quote blood on your hands I mean who's looking to build

Jesus Talk about a jump scare Jesus Christ She's got blood and Cheeto dust on her hand. How much fatter has this bitch got? That's... This is...

Wow. Big! She's wearing the O-rings from the Challenger as earrings. Yeah, those are precision-machine pistons sleeves. Uh... She is just so greasy. That's fucking so crazy. to me. She looks like she's chewing on something too. Yeah, she's chewing her cud when she talks.

They just voice over like Mr. Ed. Right, yeah. Oh. This fucking... Jesus, she's gotten fat. I haven't seen her in a year. Like, she was already fat. She was fat. God damn. Now she's fat in black. Yeah.

Wow. Okay, so Bill Maher said they have blood, body positivity has blow on their hands. Okay. Bill Maher's saying some funny stuff recently. That's kind of funny. He's like, who gives a fuck about the ballroom

that Trump's making? That's funny too. And then people try to like explain that they do give a fuck. He's like, are you retarded? Who fucking cares? Who gives a fuck about the White House?

Yeah. It's just like, the symbol of it means more than anything. Yeah. It needs a, it needs a bigger room. Yeah.

Yeah. Make all of fucking, the whole block it's sitting on the entire White House. Yeah. Lock it down. All right, let's see what this fatso has to say about it. Lamar for advice, though.

I know. What is this bit? What the fuck is that guy doing? That's true. Why did he turn to his bitch wife? That's true. Why is he even at the view? How did this straight homosexual end up at the view anyway? What the... She was nagging him in their native language. Oh, God, yeah. Oh, man. She is some, like, foreign bride.

and he's a, he's looking, Mike Pence looking motherfucker. I'm calling it as Filipinos in the audience. Yeah. And also, there's so many people in those positions that easily kind of say those things without actually having any knowledge about what they're talking about. So I think...

Oh my God! They're even fatter! Bro! This is one of the fattest bitches ever filmed. Look at how fat she is. Her tattoos are now normal. sized women. She's normal size, full-sized women's heads tattooed all over her arms.

It's a life-size with the Vitruvian man fucking on her back. Dude! God damn. This is, her shape is unparalleled. Look at the way her Hamhawk arms are coming out of this toga. I don't know what else to call

this dress. Togos. This togos she's wearing. I can't put my foot up on it. There's no more chair. God damn it. Man, look at that leg busting out of that fucking relief scene. Bro, this is big.

You couldn't squeeze that. Like, there's no more room. There's no give left. You know what? If she was dead, I couldn't move her. I could take a running start. I couldn't move her corpse. I could make it jiggle, but I couldn't get it moving.

She's at the point where I think her bones have dissolved, and she's just like hydraulic fluid in there to move around. A spider? Yeah. I was going to die. curl up. Well, and that's what I mean. She has to, like, in order to move,

she doesn't take it, lift up her leg and step. It's just, like, pushing the ins. If there is a God, please let this bitch die on a staircase or at a restaurant and land on a table of pies. Flip the pies over, but stay, I'll take stairs. I'll flip over. Please let, please God, let this bitch die at the top of a. case of stairs at the top of a staircase. I want to see her die at the top of a staircase, but it's one of those arch hallways at the end

of the building. So she goes tumbling down it and out of the side of the building. Yes. Down the rest of the 50 flights. Please let this bitch die at something like the Joker staircase in New York. So we can all see her tumbling down. I mean, this is just, this is grotesque. That's, god damn.

She has to tilt her head back. to talk because she's so fat. She can't go low enough. Yeah, she can't talk with her head straight. She has to tilt her head back to talk. Jeez. Fucking Zuss. You mean to tell me that there's blood on my hands for encouraging folks to love themselves?

It's never a better about my size. The world's made it about my size. I haven't. The world is your size. Yeah, the world is about her size. Fucking Jesus Christ. Oh, my. God. Her dress actually, that wasn't

the original design. It was ripped down the seam like that by title forces. Do you think they had to throw the couch out afterward from the indelible skidmark she absolutely left behind? Do you think they reinforced it? It's a prop couch. It's all just rebar with a sheet draped over the top. They put a tack on it and she didn't feel it until after the show. It's a whole box. It's a

Phronosaurus. It takes that long. They're all comically bad. It was a construction nail. I mean, this is unreal. This is unreal that you could have someone this disgusting and self-loathing. And like in the middle of such a such a catastrophic. Strophic self-harm and these dumb bitches are just sitting there

With stupid looks on their faces Dude, she's so big she's got the juggernaut thing going on Look from like look at her fucking delts and then right above it's like holy She's got two tombstones she's double tombstoning She's fucking she said what do you want on your tombstone? I'll take another I'll take another she's got fat lats and fat delts I've never seen that shape before Usually they just turn into a blob She's fucking test holiday EX form

my guess. Bro, she's evolved. They're mega evolution. She's wearing hooves. Her heels are hooves. They're clothing even. Look, there's a split right in the toes.

These high heels. There's no fucking, she's, they. This is like a ninth grade science experiment. Build test holidays hooves. They brought one of those, there are two of those sidewinder forklifts to go sideways.

Place her on the couch. And then the set dressing department came up and put the shoes around. I think those were painted on even. because there's no way she walked across the stage in those. No, there's no way. Just try to exist and tell others to love themselves as they show up right now. I've never told anybody to lose weight.

I've never told anybody to stay fat. I've always just said, love yourself because the world is a really hard place. And if you can't love yourself where you're at right now, then... She's chello jiggling. He's getting the jiggling going. Man, like an excited baby, just like, bleh. It looks like, bitch, you better calm down or you're going to cause seismic activity.

You should not love yourself. Your hearts work enough already. Yeah, if that's you loving yourself, what is hating yourself look like? I guess that. God, I wish heroin junkies, I wish, like, they would just say the same, on intervention, I wish they would do the same explanation.

It's just showing people love themselves. Why, I'm just, I love who I am. Yeah. And I, I just want other people to love. Smoking heroin's cool. man. It's cool. It's just me expressing love for myself. But they can't because they're all strung out. Life's going to be hard. And Gilmar

said on his show. Jesus. Oh, is that this woman? All right. That's fucking crazy. Harmon sends this. What do we got? White women only dream of having this level of fitness while remaining elegant. Okay. That's That's a satire. Yeah, is this AI?

It's a giant fat black woman putting one leg up on a chain link fence and twerking and driving simulating the sex acts with the fence. It's looking absolutely disgusting. This is Mr. Gorbachev tear down that wall. God damn. I don't know if that's AI or not. I hope so. It makes me sick all the same.

Did someone say Fat Watch? My favorite part is they get the fattest one to go after. It's clear she can't fit. Oh, okay. Obtuce gnome? Yeah. This is, uh, all right. This is a fat lady.

Let's top 20 bottoms have a 46 inch waist and 56 inch hips. Katie is 5 foot two, where's a size 3X top 22, 24 bottoms, has a 49 inch waist and 65 inch hips. Ashley is 5.10. Just to getting bigger and bigger. ...top, 30 bottoms, has a 62-inch waist and 76-inch hit. Oh, these are the park hoppers. Wait, that bitch is 5'10 and that fucking massive? That's a big bitch.

Man, get your ass on the fucking chainsaw sports. We need more tree cutters, goddamn. You can fucking built like a goddamn lumberjack. Could she move Tess Holliday's corpse? If she got a running star? Probably, yeah. Slam into that thing and make it blow up like a whale. First up in Dark Universe, we have monsters,

The safety mechanism is over the shoulder The monsters are the monsters unchanged. Holy fuck. That's okay, so they're testing the mechanisms to see if they can fit. I don't know what monster's unchained. It's a Disneyland thing, probably. You know what?

I wish these parks would put a fucking camera right like... On the tester? On the opposite angle. And it's just like a perfect like camera, like front, perfect shot. And then if you go to, It's a weight activated one.

Yeah. So if the kids go there, but if like a fucking, if you weigh over 150 pounds, that fucking, you take the picture of you, puts it on the whole park, on all the fucking jumbotrons in the park to show your jumbo ass. The seats in the middle of each ride. Oh my goodness. The 5101 spills into the seat next to her. Dichl or modified for larger gas. Also in Dark Universe, there's Curse of the Werewolf. This has a lap bar that needs to get to a certain position.

position to lock. Now heading over to Isle of Burke, we have hiccups wing gliders. There are modified seats available in the back row of half of the trains. We do think that Katie would have fit in the modified seats, but we didn't know about them until afterwards. Next, we tried the test seat for Dragon Racers Rapples. It looks like a necklace. The safety harness looks like a fucking necklace. Looks like she's gonna play a harmonica in that thing. Looks like a fuck, like blues traveler. Let's call walks and this bitch gonna not walk. Jesus Christ What's this behind her? Is there some handicapped kids she ate? They're wheelchairs?

They're their corpses. The safety mechanism is a chest restraint. None of us were able to get the green light for this one. Heading to Super Nintendo. None of them could go. Oh, it's Super Nintendo Land. This is Universal Studios then. Well, I think they're in the Florida one.

Oh, okay. I think. But it's Universal Studios either way, right? Yeah. Super Mario Land? Yeah. In the Nintendo World, we started with Mario Kart Bowser's Challenge. This has mold a seat.

His challenge was getting in the seat. Nobody picked this character. Fucking fat chung is fucking Bowser's nemesis. This is Princess Peach is the skinniest one. Princess Ponch. Princess Peach Fago. Fucking Big Bertha.

Jesus. God damn. Flatten the whole kingdom. I love that they're like, oh, these are the modified seats. It's like... Imagine being a Disney Imagineer, obviously for Universal Studios, but like, we're going to invent all these cool things that people are going to join.

It's like, hey guys, like, these bitch just got fat. We have to fucking model all the... We just got a bunch of fat chicks. Yeah. Fucking up all the rides. We have to do all new math for the fucking speeds. They have the Imagineers and then they have the fatgeneers. The practically get a crack at it.

The Imagineers are having a great time making fun stuff and magic. and then it gets over the fatchineers and they got to make it suitable to these. They got to retrofit it all, yeah. Yeah, fucking Leviathans. It's in a lap bar that does need to get to a certain position to lock. Next up, we tried. Oh, yeah, you think?

That's how they fucking work. Yoshi's Adventure. Despite this being a super slow ride, it still had a restrictive seat and safety mechanism. Closing out the land with MindCart Madness, Katie and I were able to get the green light for this ride, but Ashley did not. Over and...

It should honk and go like, like fat bitch, fat bitch and fucking shame you into walking out of the park. It should shoot that stuff that they put in like money bags from the bank that will blow up when you open it to ruin the money. The die pack should shoot you in the face

if you can't get a green on this. So everybody, turn your face purple. So everyone at the park knows that you can't go on the ride. Hey, you're that big fed bitch. You know? All right, test it. Ah! Sorry, man.

Your day at the park is going to be relegated to the fucking. Donut line. God damn. Oh, I think you need a ride that's more your speed and it's the Simpsons donut line. In the wizarding world, there's Harry Potter in the battle of the mission. Donko in the wizarding world. The seat consists of a chair with arms and the safety mechanism is a seatbelt.

Jesus, how many calories did they burn just moving the seatbelt to the other, to putting the seatbelt on? Look at that. A nominal amount compared to the ones they consumed. I mean, I don't, I've never been so fat that I need to turn my entire body to put a seatbelt on. Watch this. The wizarding world,

there's Harry Potter in the battle at the ministry. It's like a, you see how far they have to twist to put the seatbelt on? Whoa. It's like Mr. Miyagi Wax on.

Wax on. Yeah. Or she turned like fucking robocop. Her fucking turn and then the whole rest of her body follows. Like what the fuck. Let me put on the seatbelt. Err.

Like a fucking he-man. Well, and what's, because, the thing is how much do you want to bet that there's some here's my hack for getting on seatbelt so you know that there's like a whole

fat underbelly to all of this I do the handoff I do the twist oh yeah yeah I do the twist The handoff is a classic Handoff yeah I mean I've seen the handoff a few times at the airport and I just went yeah you fucking did

right all I can think is yeah you fucking did oh Luigi looking like gooigi she's the actual she's doing an Italian man cosplay oh yeah

correct size yeah the L stands for Luciano Poverati God damn fucking this is lasagna yeah Oh my god

All the seatbelt all the way out and buckling before you sit down Then you can feed the slack back in The seatbelt is generous but Ashley was unable to fit comfortably in the seat The seatbelt was generous but the well ran dry Has an over the head lap bar The seatbelt was generous but not magical Unlike the rest of the kingdom Oh man

This is the worst day of this guy's life We're the best I don't know For him it's probably pretty good Poor black guy loading this bitch in. Is he in a UPS or a FedEx outfit? He doesn't look like he works at Disneyland. He's in a SeaWorld trainer outfit. Team member did let us know that they would be adding modified seating,

but we haven't heard if they've been installed yet, and we haven't been back to try them out. We hope that this pocket guide helps and that you enjoy your trip to Epic Universe. Oh, what's that? Did you say Epic Universe or a Pig Universe? EpiPen Universe. EpiPen Universe. Hope you enjoy your stay at EpiPen Universe

Okay, well that's great Johnny, you got some fat watches too, I understand I do have some fat watches They're at the bottom of said email Oh yeah, so Man, I know these ligaments were barking Oh my god When you used to do something at gym

That you used to think was impossible Well I don't know, impossible, not smart You shouldn't be doing pull-ups weighing 300 pounds Yeah especially as a woman Oh my god

Put your feet down Oh that's what her Her goal was to just hang there That's a really stupid thing to do Well that's why she was screaming Oh my God so much It's because dumb wrists were screaming So she okay so her mark of fitness

Some she says This is Viking princess lifts Honey She's She's You are not a... Well, she's the ship, you see. Viking Princess Cruz.

Yeah. She could fit a whole 50 people on her back. Yeah. Viking. Man, I don't know. I guess if the Vikings rolled one of these into battle, I would think they were pretty fucking serious characters. I'd be fucking terrified.

Whoa. Who do you mean? These guys don't care. Come charging, yeah. Our wives are hot. This bitch. Yeah. Nothing means shit to you.

you guys. Viking princess list says a strong woman in training um all right fat woman master strong woman in training some days you show up feeling weak then your coach makes you try something you think is impossible and way out of your reach then you just do it and everything changes I've wanted to be able to do a dead hang for years and today I learned I can so she's just hanging from a bar I walked away at the end because I was embarrassed I was crying I mean this was potentially the best day I've ever had in the gym. This is something I felt wouldn't happen for me until I lost significantly more weight.

I guess my body's way more capable than, and I was giving her credit for her. What exactly are you testing here? Your finger strength? Like you're not doing any work. It's just how hard you can grip. She's trying to see if her shoulders

will dislocate for a medical lead. Exactly. That's not a strength. What you're doing is not a strength thing. it's just like a damaging yourself I saw it was like get the fuck out of here like holy shit

notice it wasn't a jump it was like a if I lift my legs fast enough that's how fat people jump lifting their legs they try to sneak it in under God's eye

it was a jump did you just jump you're not supposed to be able to jump I jump too I jump too. Look at me. I'm so happy. And then they go, wee! Yeah. They're letting the 9.8 meters per second squared do its job before.

Yeah, no momentum. Yeah. That person jump, because if that person can't jump. Yeah. Zero hops. All right. Yeah, that one, I thought that was pretty good. And O'Brien?

How to make friends in the gym. Brian. Oh my God, this is how I started to see. This is how I want to see Tess Fowler die. Have a heart attack. It's like at the Rose Bowl. Opening New Year's Day game

and Tess holidays in the stands. She's got the cheap seats way up the top and then she's holding some nachos and stuff. Arms full of nachos and popcorn. She's like waving and all these fat women are going like, yeah! And then she goes, Oh, and the odds is like, oh, Tess having some trouble with her nachos.

Oh, dead, right? Like fucking Roger Rabbit, the weasels. And then she goes rolling and tumbling down, tumbling down, shooting off the deck, like a ramp, tumbling down. Nacho cheese all over her. Nachos flying at each step, tumbling down. People diving out of the way, grabbing kids. Get the fuck out of the way.

She's dead. She's falling. God damn Oh my gosh She's got a giant like post About how amazing she is With every fucking Dude

Dude what is up with fat people In these knee-busting exercises They love to do Climbing upstairs No Just get on a bike Now way It's not busting your knees hard

Get on a stationary bike I'm trying to tear that meniscus Like a fucking It's like they Something wrong with their brains Like something that makes them fat Makes them think they want to like climb stairs And do weird shit to lose weight

I'm beautiful and amazing I'll show you guys I'm gonna climb those stairs You showed those ankles bitch You should You need to put some carabiners on those stairs You climb up Jesus Christ

She climbed a mountain I was like Why is that mountain wearing workout? Oh she's climbing the mountain Yeah she's on it all right this one has a gravitational pole

Jesus fat Mexican lady as if there was any other choice bon sense is like desodorant she's talking to Brazilian but

oh my God her Portuguese tits like stretch marks on the tits man her whole account is fucked but man I just that was all the glimpse I needed

to be like this fucking bitch. Digital creator. Oh, okay. Oh, bro. More like a digital crater. She's hoeing tumbleweeds wearing a She's wearing like a little pork pie hat

Which is odd And a Giant shirt that's too loose Gross floppy hats It reminds her for dinner, you see. Okay. Oh my good God. Yeah, when you say fatter than God, I was like, yeah, that's it.

That's this one. That's it. This last one was pretty bad, too. This lady gets a taste of her next victim. Pacing this black guy like she's eating soup. Ew. Ew. Made me fucking sick.

First comment A very difficult thing to watch Lord Jesus Thank you for giving me My husband You are my heart My love, my life My heart

I don't I don't think anybody Wants to be the I think cows got two hearts right Jesus Cape Queen Azor I love Jesus And my family

They mean everything to me Dang saturated fats Mean everything to you What is this bitch doing What flag is that Fat fuckica Just like absolute Fuck it's the relief

Fucking seam in the fucking dress too That's the Every fat bitch has a big seam Big slit up here Mm-hmm Without fail man The canckel room Yes

You gotta get some canckel breathing room in there All right let's do some Let's do voicemails And then we'll do your stuff Oh shit, it's 220 already? Shit! Yucking it up today, man.

Yeah. Allow. All right. Oh, was that the Nick Fuentes button? You ever wonder it's like wild animals and they see really weird shit like, damn,

that's an albino bison or fuck, that's a 17 point crown deer, but they're not like, you know, like, is it like, like when girls get a dick pick and it's like 14 inches and they're like damn I don't want it but like

impressive like what do they do like what's what's the animal's response to that like what are they supposed to do with that you can't do shit with that you can't do shit with that and Thanksgiving I guess

fucking pilgrims and shit kids don't smoke crack or if you do smoke enough that you sell stadiums out like DMX. Are animals ever like, whoa, look at that. Are animals ever like, what would a big penis? Is that what he's asking? I don't know.

He's saying if you see animals, send them a 14-inch dick-pick. Okay, we'll take it under advisement. Hey, dig. What's up, Johnny? Hopefully, Sean, here's this too. Bros. I'm someone that's going through

the North Carolina raids right now. and I decided to you know what I'm gonna go out there in traffic hour and see how it's how it's looking and bros I swear it's like 40% less traffic

has to be but it's like they're all over but it feels exactly how it did like almost 10 years ago and I'm not even that old I'm 27 but I remember how it was and how much more worse it is now

It feels good My My fucking ex-wife's Cousins Baby Mama Got picked up yesterday At work or some I don't know where

That shit was Fucking hilarious I hate that bitch Oh she killed herself But no At the very least they picked her up Baby I don't know I mean it's gonna say here I guess

She can take the fucking baby with her I don't care But So far it's like looking good for your boy here. Yeah. Anyways, hit me back. That's a proper ux-in.

You got an ex-wife and someone's baby mom and got fucking deported. Get the fuck rid of them. Yeah, man. Hey, I just want to propose somebody similar to Sean's Animal Corner because Johnny, when he hears about these, like, new accounts that seem to be obscure, he always knows about them. Just like obscure animal facts.

Like, he's been tracking every guy on the internet doing weird shit forever. Like, for always. just for opposition. There's none that he won't know though. That's the joke. Yeah. Sean would miss an animal fact occasionally. Well, so every so often I do get a DM from someone that I'm like, oh.

Didn't know that one. I haven't seen this. Okay. Those of you who have gotten those points out there, patch yourselves on the back, because I give them out sparingly. But man, when it happens, I'm like, oh, yes. All right, this guy has the same idea. Okay.

Okay, so I watched The Whale for the first time. Yeah, I can confirm that it's definitely a comedy. It's a comedy. It's a comedy. He's hooking down to two Milky Ways and whatever it was, like back to back, like Kobayashi style. Yeah. It's absolutely a comedy. It's a comedy.

He's not convinced me otherwise. Go fuck your stuff. I wonder on set, too, because there's never just a one take. Yeah. Yeah. It's like, how many fucking Milky Ways did he have to fucking house like that on. camera, yeah, before they were like, ah, that's good enough. Like, were there any takes or he's like just eating the pizza?

The guy's like, ah, do it like... Eat it like a bad piece of shit. Do it like the Tasmanian devil, you know? Cookie monster. Do it like a cookie monster. It's hilarious. Yeah, that's a great movie. And that face that he makes the whole movie.

Oh. It's like Paul Bearer face. What? Yeah, exactly. Yeah. Ooh, I love my daughter. I'm gay. Or was he gay?

I think he got so fat it made him gay. It was either that or being an English teacher. I can't recall. I lost my daughter. He's holding up a little Caesar's breadstick like that. Fuck. I never gave him. this any thought before last week's episode, but growing up, I would read the comic section of

the newspaper, and I really liked the Dilbert comic. And I think that might be responsible for my abject retardation in today. So I think you're right. No office humor for kids. Parents that do that should be imprisoned, just like the parents of obese children should be executed. Executed. I think you're on to something there. How does this, Mike, always get unscrewed? How the fuck? I don't know. I watched you screw it to the top last week, too. I did.

It's almost ready to pop off again. That was a good voicemail. Hey, Johnny. So I don't know what to call this, but I know you guys are, well, Dick, I know you're a Gen X and Johnny. I'm assuming you're a millennial, but you don't understand what I'm saying. My father, my parents are, you know, Gen X. right and um the shit that my father has been sending me for the past like three days like on tic-tok it's not like he discovered t-tok but i think the algorithm got to him because now he's

sending me uh and our family like group chat thing we have like with my siblings like all this shit about like oh like look at this really really funny comedian and then it's like you know a comedian you know, who tells this stand-up for about three and a half years like you're watching the video. But it has like a laugh track behind it that's not, you know, from the actual audience, right?

Like the whole thing is like it's either mixed with AI or it's like a completely fake set. And furthermore he sent me one of those like door ring camera like AI videos where like an animal walks up and does something crazy. And he's like, you believe this happened?

And I'm like, no. You know, hey, when did you turn me to a fucking boomer? He's like, what do you mean?

And, you know, I had to have that hard conversation of, you know, you're turning to a boomer because you're not

recognizing what's fake and real in this case on the internet. And he doesn't believe me. He just still sends me the same AI generated crap or this weird,

like, you know, like split screen, like some guys pissing off a telephone scammer well, the bottom.

is like a Minecraft video. It's like, dude. The fucking Gen X is being one-shotted also. It's not just the boomers. Anyway, go fuck yourself. No, I know. The worst is when they send you like every update from one account.

I, after the first couple of these, if I wanted to see more of this, I would have followed that account. Yeah. So don't, you know. It's not sending me this fucking shit. It's this weird like, because I know exactly what he's talking about. And it's like this

I almost refer to it in my mind as like the bumper stickerification of everything. Uh-huh. It's like if you can read this you're too close on my ass. So then when you get like the often too long TikTok clip of some like of like a George Carlin segment and like you know the laugh track and everything's like see this guy's right this guy's really saying something and it's like yeah okay I didn't yeah but he's like but then the same it then it bled over. into like, yeah, but this guy's setting like a world record in Minecraft

while I'm watching this Joe Rogan clip. And it's like, what the fuck? What the hell's going on here? Like, it's all the like the can do like, man, fuck these boomers. But it's like Gen X now decided to like, oh, we're also so correct about everything that any new info is like, it couldn't possibly be outside of the realm of what I already know and understand. I don't know.

It's just hard to, it's hard for people's spot. It is. I don't know why. I don't know what drives people to share videos. The other thing too, though, is now, to your dad's credit, maybe since you told him he's being a boomer about it, he's going, I'll show you, boomer, yeah. It could be. So he could be either very funny or very unfunny.

That's up to you to decide. The dick show what makes me rage is tabs. All my tabs are like my children. I need them. Okay. And you can spend like an hour. on your Saturday set up all your little browsers

and all your different This motherfucker's talking about guitar tabs? Talking about asses. You can have different accounts and then like that's fine but then the second one thing fucking changes

or you got to reset a password somewhere or something and you're gonna go back and you fucking fix everything do you don't do it till next how many places do you need your guitar tabs on like how many different accounts

and screens mister you want to do that and it's like I don't know I don't know classical guitar guy over here?

Oh, wow. You never have to make simple things. Like, just click. I'd be like, are you sure? You want to write my iPad and my phone? I need it on six computers because at any moment I could play the guitar. Man. I'm like having a conversation in view.

This guy's like slash with all the shredding he needs to do. Yeah. Oh, shit. Oh, fuck. I need my guitar tabs. Anywhere you look, I need to have them a cachet of tabs. He's like, I got to have my tabs. If I'm unable to play, you know, Wonderwall at any moment for me.

anywhere. How's anyone going to know that I know smoke on the water? Why don't you learn how to play? Then you don't need those taps. How about that? Why don't you take that guitar and fucking kill yours over it? God. Tabs. I got to have my tabs.

I got to have my tabs. You don't understand, Dick. I need my tabs. Okay. Here we go. Where's your theme? Uh-oh. It's time. I forgot to put it on the thing. That's okay. It's kind of funnier this way, I think, too. Yeah. It gives Reddit guys something.

All right. What do you got? It is great news that I don't think I brought anything that disgusting in today. Oh, thank fucking God. For those of you who do like the disgusting stuff, though, I really, I brought it to town on my bonus post this Wednesday. I found a video of this guy who has a hole in his neck. And he has a clear cup of orange soda and he drinks the orange soda and it all sprays out. out of the hole in his neck too.

John, that's fucking disgusting. Well, that's why people pay two bucks a month on Patreon for that. Oh, you have a Patreon? I finally do. That's Johnny'sbrainrot.com. This is what you and Carl are promoting? Okay, Johnny'sbrainrod.com. All right.

Where's the not orange juice stuff? Okay, so this first one is, this is a divorced dad asking the tough questions about crypto. Now, Dick, you might know something about crypto. It's a big fat guy. racist. Yes. Why do I say that? as a full-time U.S. Department of Homeland Security Office of Intelligence and Analysis

Cyber Division employee in 2017 sitting at my workstation in McLean, Virginia, listening to full-time NSA. Why, first of all, why did his tits look like this? I had so many fucking questions. Why does he have so many towels over his shower? Why is his toilet, both the toilet, seat and the sitting. He was shitting on the rim. The lid and the seat are up. Straight maniac.

And why are his tits like this? This is a weird looking body that he's got fat, devious work, gross. Paulie Mike Moss, the director of the Office of Director of National Intelligence's Cyberthreat Intelligence Integration Center

describe cryptocurrency as a means of using a digital ledger to not lose or let money get dirty and 5,000 posts Why is Dan Harmon commenting on this? Yeah, what the fuck is he?

What the hell's going on here? He's running into my bit now. Fucking Dan Harmon, get out of here. More securely control and manage. Then look, somebody replied to Dan Harmon. Okay, Dan Harmon says, can whoever ask this question, please keep asking him questions

for the rest of my life? Cork Chungis. And then some fucking doofus, Ian West Art says, I love how we're really all just the same person. Makes me fucking sick. Makes me fucking sick. I didn't even see the Dan Harmon

comment or I would have fucking, I would have blocked Dan Harmon. I love how we're all Dan, I love how we're all the same person. And use your finances in a fashion that is not subject to coins and cash getting dirty or getting

lost or getting stolen or getting used for purposes that you did not authorize somehow, yes, I believe the ethos behind former deputy director of C-TIC, Mike Moss's solilokey, or workplace discussion of cryptocurrency.

He lost to me so many times. Is he home? He's not homeless? Well, so then if you check his account, it's like, he's like, here's a picture of me and my son, but he's, of course, like any fucking divorced schizo. It's like screenshot, fucking pictures everywhere. There's handwritten notes.

The fuck it. Dude, guys just insane. What does this stuff say? Prayer action. This is like... He's like making handmade labels to give to people. Oh, wow.

In the past 12 months, we have disclosed the following categories of... Oh, God. Yeah, it was all just schizo-rambling. It's fucking crazy. Yeah, it really is. It is all... And he's just like a lunatic out there in the world, man.

Fucking 5,000 posts. The relevance to me mentioning the Philippines and Dr. Sarah Abraham, very hard election in the Philippines, is that she talks about an lecture. What a fucking weird out. Yeah, man. Wow. Don't get divorced.

All right, what's the next one? So for every good thing made, there's always the Brazilian knockoff. These are, if you've ever been to a craft store, These are like the pre-stuffed, like, cloth baby dolls that you can, like, model. This is, she has a husband like this, too. Oh, my God. As in her husband is sitting back there on the bed, I believe.

Oh, he's a doll? Yes. Oh, my God. Turns out the doll thing is not just a white lady. That's huge. Oh, my God, that's her husband? Yeah, that's what I'm saying. Yeah, that's her husband.

and those are her kids. And they're like, the dolls are of really like low quality. They have hand-drawn faces on them. And she's holding on to this one as if it were her actual child. This sounds like I went to fo'ro. And I left her and some men,

I went in for a little. And then I got enrolling with the galera, my eyes. This sounds like my backyard when I'm trying to sleep at night. Yeah. Marce- She says Marcello stresses out too much.

Every little thing turns his face to me. What do I do? Yeah, nonsensical. That's her son. That's that weird thing. Oh my God, dude. Whole account is just fucking...

Oh, no, no, no. That's a husbandian. Yeah. No, no, no. How do I see a bigger version of this? Open in. There you go, yeah. Dude.

Hey, that's a beautiful family photo, man. What the fuck? This looks like me and my dad. Yeah, it's spinning. Okay, so she's got this six-foot-tall, like mannequin, cloth dummy. With yarn hair. hair

fucking yarn hair kind of a mullet yarn hair dressed in a pink dress shirt with a tie tied like it's

like someone's trying to dress a corpse yeah it's when I came across so bad you think there's this man in a live man in that house anywhere

and he's she's got the dad propped up on a tree so it's he's like riding this tree branch it's like a little kid's school photo or something.

This is a family photo. Such a rascal up in that tree over there. And the little kid has a unibrow. And the craziest shoulder get up you could possibly imagine. Look at that. Dude. Oh, that's not even like one of those

pre-made dolls. Look, the face is so directly to the shoulders. I think there's no neck. Why is his mouth like this? What is this? Is this lips? Not from a mouth. Is that an open mouth? mouth.

God damn. Look at this tie situation. It's like she's her son is Mr. Bill. And he's holding his hand up. Just say like,

oh hey. Oh, that's playing on the way. I said, see you. Oh, he caught me here riding my tree.

And this looks like a demon, the little boy. Oh my God. With gloves for hands? Because she couldn't make hands.

So all our kids have gloves. Fucking shoes. Just like. Okay, 164,000. So she has a lot of followers. Yeah, so she's built a cult following over this time. Not necessarily an underground one.

Dude, does she send the dummies down this ship? Well, and some of them I've seen that she does. Oh. Yeah. Oh, there you go. So another little kid is playing with her, with her. That's like her actual daughter. Oh, she has a

She has a real family? I think Yeah, she got Is this her? No, this is her She's a bridesmaid Oh yeah, there's That was the first one I saw it

I was like, get the fuck out of here She's sitting on the couch with her husband And her husband has his arms around her Her husband's wearing her jeans too Are these real? I don't know, dude. I don't know Portuguese nor do I want to now.

Her son is dressed up like Superman. He's got the gloves on still. She can't do hands. Okay, how, is how could she, is she making money off this? It's Brazil, I don't think so. Wow. Look at this fucking guy.

This is the last thing you want to see. Jesus. Oh, the dad is out there horned up watching the garbage women twerk was wearing his pink tie still what is it with these mannequin people and skits

I don't look he's made him see put himself in the trash so they would take him out yeah they cannot be helped these people are like oh this is totally normal Okay, we got it. Yeah, man.

Oh, it gets better. I need to see more of this dad. He's the star here. Look at him. These hose, man. Oh, it's all family. Dude, it's freaking me out. I'm starting to think he's a real guy.

It might be a real guy in there, which is fucking me up now. This was at, this is in a, she's dressed in a wedding dress, and her husband is in a, or dummy husband is in a suit. he's just like really Eastern European Oh fuck did I cut Did I cut this off? I hope not Damn it

Let's see here This is crazy Yeah man Oh okay Whole whole thing All right Well check the next one we got here Dick There let me just

Let me center this Oh yeah Okay Because I got two more for you One of them is gonna really make you hate India Oh no Wait, go to the one of, okay, do this one first. I'll do this one.

Okay. Oh, no, so that was a Brazil one. So you know, famed author, Dean Coons, right? Yeah, sure. Well, here he is looking absolutely normal. Who is this guy? That's Dean Coontz. It really is?

That's really him. That's really his account. With absolutely nothing. But I was like, who the fuck is this old asshole with that stupid fucking hair? When I realized who it was across my timeline, I was like, no shit. If I don't turn on the computer. What a weird. spend half an hour typing with absolutely nothing to show for it.

What is it with these boomer writers, dude? Like Scott Adams, bald, annoying. This guy has way too much hair and annoying in a completely different way. I have a swelled head and it isn't fixed on straight. The fuck are you talking about it? It's a bobblehead. Yeah. Well, he's trying to be, he's chungis-maxing right there.

But that fucking hair, dude, I was like, there's no way a guy who considers himself a serious. Okay, so here's, you'll hate India after this one. Oh, I think I've seen this. Enriced's exam. Colonels going up and down, grabbing their wieners. These are the motherfuckers online promoting like alpha mail accounts and shit like that. Yeah. Fuck, every, any time I see that Indian flag anywhere, I no longer care what is being said at all.

Okay, so this last one. So Dick, I've been hyped on this one. All right. You remember food fight? Uh, what? That shitty animated movie where they tried to get all these like corporate brands together in like a animated movie and they got like Charlie Sheen and like a bunch of other people that like Wayne Brady was a voice actor in it. But it was basically like super smash bros, but for all the brands. Okay.

So someone has taken it upon themselves to well make a whole new set of grocery superstars. You see. Okay. So this is the grocery store. Stefan Figgs. Yeah. Grocery Stars. Now this is AI garbage, but now watch, we'll watch it once.

Hey, thanks, Defar Figs. That's sweet. Thanks, Stefan Figgs. Whoa, thanks to Fong Figgs. You got it. Enjoy the game, y'all. So look, he says, thank you, Stefan Figgs. But he's thanking himself because the fucking AI picked it up.

Thank you, Stefan Figgs. You got it. Enjoy the game, y'all. So click on the account. Because this one, when I saw this, I was like, man, I didn't even think that people would stoop this low. This guy Wow, 9,000 followers

This white guy who's creating all these black food icons Got something for you Jamar cheese Age perfectly during the first quarter Go on Give it a test Hold up, ref Got something for you

These scre Fresh slice Thanks Jamar Just cut that off your head Yep age perfectly during the first quarter It's amazing Go on Age perfectly during the first quarter

Go keep going They're great I love this whole lineup This is my new favorite This is a white guy that's doing this? Really? What is the t-shirt you're wearing? It looks like it says grocery stars. Is that him?

Yeah. Dexter Orange. Dexter Lawrence. Okay, so a white guy made black-coated food, anthropomorphic food items that play football. Ready? Here we come. Oh, green.

That's up. Got it. That's a clean catch. Little kale for my homies. Eat up and stay strong. Ready? His name is K. K.

Oh, God. Travis Kalesi. I'm gonna fucking kill my I didn't even see that I was even paying attention to that I was too busy Hey folks everybody gets some almonds for the game Thanks almond raw

Dude almond raw Like almond raw I like It's like It's got a little bit of Hoteap shit in there It's got a little bit of everything So when I came across this

I was like I was like I was like dick I cannot wait for VV Sunday already It's black guys with food for head Yeah Like cheese and almonds Playing football

Uh huh and there's a football player Yeah Who is this asshole? He's a three-time MVP He's an egg yolk? Nicola Yoke

Oh my God It's fucking bad Dude Lamon James Lemon James Oh my God He's handing out lemons in the ghetto Sesame Street

What's the point of this? I think he's trying to start this new movement so he could either sell it or whatever. But part of me. Food puns? He thinks he's like, oh, if you go there's sequin broccoli up there. There's like the game day or any day. Let's cook this right. Little stir in the pocket.

Boom. Broccoli ball secure. Quick cut. Keep your eyes up. Chop, chop, chop. Into the pot. Let it steams. Game day or any day.

Steaming broccoli? That's not really like a recipe that you need to shake. it's fucking a blueberry man I don't know blueberry standards okay fuck you 20 15 10 touchdown

blueberry he's unleashing a storm of blueberries on the defense matters cuts left breaks a tackle he's in the clear I don't know what this is supposed to be pizza head man

it's loads up let's it go touchdown crust and fields fires that crust like an alien tomato he's doing it to it's so

really weird. Oh, there's the guy that's... All this is good. Just here to run a few routes. Straight to the produce. Oh, yeah. That's a crisp one. That's a lot of pairs.

What can I say? Got to keep the team fuel. I respect it. Pears. Pears Power is his name? Micah Parsons. It's so... So that's the guy.

If you go down a little bit... This guy? That's the guy. Hey, everyone. It's Mike from Grocery Stars. Just want to say, thanks again for all the engagement and the comments and the likes

on... talk and Instagram. Right now we've been experimenting with some AI videos and they're super silly, but at least they're getting a little bit of an awareness out there of our IP, which is, of course, grocery stars characters, which is about throwing healthy eating and nutrition for kids. IP. And we have basketball players rolling out. What is this Kielsen?

Having an IP. You're, ain't that the truth. For the longest time, it was like, I'm the CEO of some. Yeah. Now it's like, ooh, this is my IP. if you're a Arizona Cardinals fan Isn't this all just AI shit? Thanks again.

Appreciate it. It's AIP. But, oh, the watermelon guy, that one. Oh, God. Fresh cut right off the dome. Boom, perfect wedge. And another.

That's game day freshness. Who's hungry? Get in here, y'all. Sweet victory in every bite. So he's got a black guy with a watermelon for a head that chops pieces of his head off to serve to people, and that's IP? Yeah, man.

welcome to the new age and digital creation my friend man AI is just going to crush Hollywood yeah that's why Hollywood is fucking Hollywood doesn't stand a chance against black watermelon head man against Wayne head with a watermelon head cutting his own head off I love stooping to new lows

that's my favorite thing ever but when I saw this I let out a sigh that fucking made all the birds within a 10 mile radius fly away this is so fucking stupid It was the dumbest shit I probably ever fucking seen. And there's so much of it. This was one week ago? Oh, you dude.

How many of these is he doing every day? A grip. He is, he's starting an IP, man. What are all these black people? Are these fake black people? Y'all see the drip though? Muffin Harrison Jr. reping hard tonight. Bake boss says the shirt's fire.

Yes, they are fake black people. And yeah, I just pull these blueberry joints out the oven. Look at that crumb. I pull these blueberry joints out the oven? And of course, Being AI, it's grocery stars is spelled wrong. Yeah. Y'all see the drip, though?

Muffin head ass. Oh. Here you go, champ. You got it, buddy. Thank you, Wem banana. Enjoy it. Thanks, Mnana. Stay strong out there.

Whem banana? Victor Wem banana is grocery stars? I love that there's a guy with a waffle head, too. Oh, there's one of the ones. him with like a steak even and he's on the grill it's fuck i don't know what the fuck possesses people oh the strawberry guys good too patrick mushroom mushroom mushroom but it's the it's the mario mushroom so that's the copyright violation yeah this whole again i was so excited when i found this because all i did is exactly what you're doing right now is dude this is the bacon guy's good too

Oh wow I want to I want to learn more from the real guy I do and I don't Yeah I would like to hear Here he is I don't want to hear him talk about his IP Grocery Stars is officially having a contest

We're looking for the next great grocery Stars name We want basketball or baseball Because we have basketball season The NBA playoffs coming up We have baseball season The fucking chungest music You know what we're looking for

The kind of the names we're looking for Check us out. Muffin Harrison. Tons. Not Marvin Harrison, Muffin Harrison. Amundrae St. Brown. He's an almond. Right here we got Malik Neighbors.

He's a leak. That's Dexter Lange. He's an orange. But get it. It sounds like their name. J.J. Watermelon. I know I have to keep going on here. Cherry Rice.

We need a basketball player name or a baseball player name. And if you win, we will make it. We will have our guy design it. Print out the shirts. You will get a piece of. the profits, the revenue, and you will get a bunch of free merch. So, comment below your best grocery star name. Can't we can see what you come up with?

All right, grocery star. Dude, I... It's, um... It's an IP, Dick. What are you talking about? Yeah, this is really like a... This is what AI enables. It's like this sickness in people to pretend to make companies and, like, have this stable

of AI, but at no point was it good? Yeah. Like, even this. Even what he's doing right now, like let's have a contest for, for nobody. For eight likes, 36 weeks ago. It's like the people that always want to have a podcast. Like, I totally could have a podcast. Yeah, like, yeah, you're.

Fucking no. No. It's also like the, it's the ease of access, right? Yeah. And it's turned into like this, it's the on paper like, yeah, but I got an IP. It's like, yeah, but no one gives a fuck. it sucks. No one should give a fuck and it's stupid.

Yeah, but, you know, it's just, I figured it all out, Dixie. It's a profit sharing thing. It's also going to be some of it. I'm going to do it right. It's all, yeah, I'll be the first one in history to do it correctly this time. These are all bozos. I'm revs, and of course we're reping the grocery stars and I'm going. I got super emotional when showing grocery stars to Gary Vee.

Who the hell is that? That fucking F with all. was always like, you know, you just gotta go out there, man, and do the fuck. 11 million followers. The CEO V. Friends? What the fuck is V Friends? Okay, so it's some, it's an actual IP? It's all just like that fucking self-empowerment fucking.

You know, I started the thing with like, it's just a good dream, man. Dude, he's been doing this for more than a year. He's been doing all these stupid things. Dude, I'm telling you, nothing is more insane than, the way AI has enabled insane people be like no

that's a good idea yeah yeah because they don't have to learn anything through the creation which you used to have to do the missing piece was the art this whole time

that was all I needed my idea and everything else is great I just needed the art this carrot Wilson shirt all the adverse art through adversity

as no longer exists yeah like the it turns out that the adversity was the art yeah and none of this shit

is art this is all trash. I can't wait to see just like pictures of like kids in Africa and shit getting throwaway shirts and they got all the grocery stars on. Like, oh God. Gary V.

See anything. I'm trying to get this in front of Gary Vee for a long time. Here we go. Wish me long. All right. This is a chance to get maybe 15 seconds with Gary and give him my idea and see what happens. God. Got a shot sometimes, right?

I'm completely freaked out right now. I don't get star-struck or anything like that. I talk to pros. athlete celebrities all the time I've never met Gary all the time everybody everybody

everybody Gary hey uh bro oh my fucking everybody listening right now

go to the grocery stars page invest today let's get this IP off to fucking ground we got to steal it let's make like grocery superstars Grocery Superstars. Better grocery stars.

Yeah. God. And just buy a bunch of followers. Grocery All Stars. And send it to him to send this guy into a fucking meltdown. That. Grocery All Stars. You thought grocery stars are cool?

That's lame. Buy like 50,000 followers. All Stars. These are one of one grocery guys in here. Say it's like linked to the fanatics or whatever. She's. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. and just announce like fake shit

god damn dude he would actually probably lose his mind he would lose his mind more Gary he's standing there like what this is like Freddie got fingered level uh here's my comics here's my comics here's my comics

fucking spaghetti out of the comment or out of the fucking pockets immediately you listen to none of that shoes and things I'm wearing about. I opened around there. You're just been such an

emotional I didn't realize it was the gay grocery stars. And it's like the same font as garbage pill kids. Yeah. He's gonna make him sign every single fucking one of the

printouts he brought. What the fuck? There it is. I went from really enjoying this to like super Phil Pickleson. All right, I'm back in. I love it. Dude, this is really incredible. Our team stars update.

We no longer have. 84 weeks ago. So, Saquan, broccoli, Giants, Sequin Broccoli on the Giants. Saquan broccoli on the giants. Sequin broccoli merchandise. Oh, my God. So he named them after real players.

Yeah. So when the real players trade teams... He's got to update his fucking fake. He's got to update the... I don't think the teams are going to like that he's saying that. I think they're going to have a problem with that. Dude. Giants.

Sequan Broccoli on the Giants. There's no more. He's going to look good in the Eagle Green, but I don't know if I'm going to do it because I'm still a little shocked by Seekwon moving. Anyway, we're moving on. So he printed all this shit out? Yeah, I was going to say.

He already fucking printed it. already fucked himself on all of its print on demand like he did Eddie this was like I'm just gonna print up I'm just gonna print it so I have it Seq Juan Broccoli on the Giants out but Dexter Lawrence there he is

Big Dext as an orange he is still alive and well The Dexter there he is right there Dexter Lawrence celebrity softball game May 18th Come out You can maybe get some grocery stars stuff There Um

Yeah everybody still A couple of guys switch team. So like step on. Get your free grocery merch at a celebrity softball game. But we saw Patrick

mushrooms and a whole bunch of other people at grocery stars.com, including hopefully soon, the new batch of characters that will be coming out this summer or this fall. This is 84 weeks ago.

Dude, I almost typed GroceryStars.com on this computer. I was like, oh. Yeah. Uh, okay. yeah it's okay i could look i could look at this all day that's why i had to bring it in that was today's banger of a drop because i man

when i saw this brands are not realizing that collecting similar to travel food okay i'm i'm done all right everybody goodbye that i don't like that that guy exists i don't either mushrooms it's even weirder hearing him talk about it Stars.com. Oh. Presenting.

Sports, pop culture, food, fun. This is the most fun I've ever had in my life, browsing the site. Okay. Goodbye. See ya.