The Dick Show - Episode 49 - Dick on Interrupting

Episode Date: May 9, 2017

A Day of Interrupting, television addiction, Big Breakfast is killing you, Sean's voice is killing you, Asterios vs. WarOfTheFanBoys, the billboard, The Dick Show sends an autism to Cannes, being on Gavin McInnes, pointless research on gender binaries, cringe-ophobia, airlines and my biggest fantasy, the adventures of Cadyver, Phteven's various side businesses, Dustin's first bit, Narcissistic Personality Disorder, the time Tucker Max hit on my girlfriend, whatever happened to Lettuce Jones, Layc is single, and Sean interrupts me while I'm working it; all that and more this week on The Dick Show.

Presenting Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah! Welcome to Dick, you need Dick, you want Dick, you love Dick, you got it, it's the show! Where everything is a contest coming to you live from a mountain bunker, the city of failure, I'm your host Dick Masterson, with me is always Sean, the audio engineer. Hello Dick, hey, it's the only show where you can experience the zingers!

Barely this time of Sean, the audio engineer, what's up buddy? We'll see. We'll get him out of a bitch. Every third word will come out clear. Yes, you sound. You sound like a tiger has banged your throat. Oh, it was barbed to do.

You sound like something, you sound like a living cigarette. Has you've performed oral and a living cigarette. That's pretty cool, huh? You sound disgusting, man. I sound like Tom Wates. You sound like Tom, you sound like Tom Wates. It's like Tom Likus.

Yeah, you sound like Tom Wates's Danny DeVito. If there was a twins and Tom Wates had the good voice. What are you hanging on? And you have the shitty voice, what? I'm getting too old for this shit, Wigs. Yeah, you sound like garbage. We have to record it. We have to record this show on a Friday night

and not just any Friday night, Cinco de Mayo Friday night, which is, you know, Cinco de Mayo is the only day that you can legally drink at work. That's the special, that's Cinco de Mayo for me. So I've, I've, I've, so you mean drinking at home. I shut up. I've put off drinking at home. I shut up. I put off drinking all day, all day to do this show with you tonight and you cannot speak.

You're son of a bitch. Sorry. No, I'm not even sick. I mean, every sick person. That's what you, like that's what makes me, I wish you would just lie to me. And when you come in here, say, I am sick. Yes. Hit me yesterday. Like, see, I didn't would just lie to me. And when you come in here, say, I am sick. Yes.

Hit me yesterday. See, I didn't have allergies until I was probably like 35. Yeah. And all of a sudden, like I thought I would be getting sick and then it would be fine the next day. And it's like, oh no, you have allergies. No, that happened to allergies, dude. Apparently, like it gave me some kind of like

laryngitis or something. I just, I started sounding like this yesterday. It sounded worse this morning. Like I've sounded, this is about as good as I've sounded all day. Oh, you sound awful. I sound like a gypsy cursed. I feel fine. I feel totally fine.

No sore throat, no nothing. You sound like I look like garbage. Jesus Christ. I did, I did, kind of lots, a lot is, I'm so glad that you don't go online for this show. Why? You would not believe the shit storm that we are currently in right now.

Real? I'm talking about batting down the shit hatches because there is a shit typhoon. There is a low pressure shit system. Shit, a cane, shit, a cane. Like, no, I'm not joking. Asterios. What did we do?

Asterios, it's not me this time. I'm trying to call everybody down. Astereos. That's when I know it's serious. It's serious. It's gone too far. It's gone way too far. Astereos and War of the fanboys,

the Donald mod who called in two weeks ago, last week or two weeks ago. Oh. Those guys started getting into it online and it almost immediately escalated into a boxing match. Oh, like the Kimball Clegg one, right? Yeah, well, it's a well-trodden road. This is the show.

This is the Nick show, the show where random people on the internet meet and talk shit and get into challenge each other to a boxing match until one of them chickens out. Right. That's the, that's a standard bid on this show is the endless type for a boxing match that then turns into a podcast. But let me tell you something, these guys, I've talked to both of them separately, both the stereos and war the fanboys. They are neither one of them separately, both hysterios and war of the fanboys. They are neither one of them is backing down and they are both very fucking pissed.

One guy expressed, you know, I mean, I know these guys. I know hysterios and I only know war of the fanboys because of our similar love for Donald Trump, which is, I I think more important than a lifetime of knowing someone. So I know both of these men like my brother is what I'm saying. And I can guarantee you that they're not backing down. And that they are both very fucking pissed.

Like we're talking about so pissed online and on Twitter that you think they're joking, they're not joking. Yeah. Because that's what's hard online sometimes is like, it's either you're so sarcastic or you're dead serious. Yeah, it's hard to tell. Like, there's like a law named after that, isn't there? Is that post law?

What's the one where it's like, it's such an outlandish, it's like, no, it's either completely set. I think one is the one that everything trends toward Hitler? No, that's what. That's God. That's Godwin's law. I think you're right.

It's post law. Yeah, the more ridiculous the satire is. That's why am I telling you this? Because you're talking about grandpa memes. Oh, I only know like to say. No, you're talking about ancient history. Speaking of ancient history, I was on Gavin McGinnis' show. Gavin McGinnis' show this week, do you know who that is?

Nope. He's a, people who know who he is, okay, do you know who Milo Yiannopolis is? Yes. Okay, those guys are like, one in the same except Gavin's not gay. Okay, for just a simple way to describe, he's a co-founder of Vice. Oh, very outspoken.

Male, like pro male, comedian, writer. He's got, he's a host of the Gavin McGinnis show. He runs, it's been running forever. He's big time. Big time. Like a podcast or a, yeah. Podcasting, but also a video. I think we can just take over that word now.

It's just a show now. You know what, it's going that way. Yeah. If you have a show on television, you have to qualify it. To us. We're just a show. It's not, oh, you mean like on the internet?

No, no, no, no, no, a show. You mean like on TV? Ugh., no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, it's all about the content. You know, they don't make TVs with antenna hookups anymore. I believe it. My dad got me a, my dad got me a TV for Christmas. They tell this story around Christmas time. No, for this past Christmas, he got you one. Yeah, my parents got me this, this, my parents got me this TV. Um, and my dad came over to hook it up with this giant antenna system. Because that dude needs his TV like a fucking heroin addict. Yeah. Like he cannot go.

He's got a TV in the, he's like, what was that band that had a doctor traveling around with them administering their heroin, keeping them from overdosing? Was it the Rolling Stones? I always think of Dr. Nick Elvis' doctor, like as far as like the, the pack, like the, the pill and the stimulant, like, packages,

but it could have been, could have been one of those guys to keep them. The stone sounds, the Keith Richards sounds like. Yes, Keith, yes, something doesn't, something tells me he do it himself. It's a good story. All right, let's pretend that there's a big rock and they're so, they're so rich, Sean,

and they need drugs so badly that they've hired a medical doctor to go around. That's, that's what, that's what we want to believe they're so rich, Sean. And they need drugs so badly that they've hired a medical doctor to go around. That's, that's what, that's what we want to believe, right? Okay. Sure. My dad's like that, except with television, like he's got, he's got like a local news anchor following him around all the time. And Casey can't find a TV to watch.

The guy will just sit down at a desk and pretend to read him some news until he gets his next TV fix. Good. Yeah, I mean, like I'm any better. I'm on two phones. Like I go, I go. It's hard to put the phone down. It's hard.

God damn. It's really hard. It's such a waste of time. It's really hard when people are talking about you all day. It's like crack. Like I'm like I'm, I always want to apologize to 80s girls. I'm like, honey,

I know I'm ignoring you, but you don't understand. These men are talking about me. Yeah. It's very difficult for me to pull, like this is an incredible amount of attention that I'm getting on this phone. And I, I, I, don't please don't, I'm very sorry, but I can't turn away. This guy just said it was the funniest thing he ever heard.

And these people matter. And then, yeah, this guy, you know, this guy didn't, this guy didn't order weird sour cream this week. Maybe you have a sour cream incident where it's like, yeah, this is not daisy. Yeah, it's something that's learning at a shop. So all right. Well, you got the fucking third world markets around you.

We got third world markets. Lucky it's not made in a pillowcase hung in somebody's shower, you know? And I'm also home all day. And so it's very important to me what's in the pantry and the fridge because that's like, that's all I got. That's all my food for the day. For her, she's gone most of the day

and maybe we'll figure out dinner, but for me all day, it's like this is all I have. I'm like the hamster. And they get it. And my fucking pellets set up properly. This eight ounce coke isn't gonna do it for me. This milk-free sour cream isn't, I don't care if you got it at three six five.

It's not working for me. God damn it. Anyway, it's like my dad. He brings over this very expensive antenna that he got it best by because he wanted to bring the TV over, busted open and immediately get into that TV action on a new TV. You know, it's not every day that you get to experience that new TV. So I know what he's thinking, that new TV man, he's busting it open.

He's figuring out where to drill holes in the wall to mount this antenna. Like, I can sense his excitement and he's not, I'm not that excited and he doesn't even care. He's not, he's just like taking over the home. Like, I'll set this up. I need to set this up as quickly as possible. He finally gets it set up, pointed at the antennas at Mount Whitney, set all set up to

roll and he's got the coax cable, but he goes toward the TV and there's no coax plug. So my brother and losses, oh yeah, none of them have that anymore. I tried to tell you that in the store when you bought it, but you didn't want to listen. And he's like stumped, right? Like he's like, what do you mean? Like it's like how I feel I'm gonna react

when someday there's no screen and the kids are like, no, it just goes, it goes right into your mind. Yeah. I'm like, when someday there's no screen and the kids are like, no, it just goes, it goes right into your mind. Yeah. Like, what are you talking about? I don't have, what do you mean into my mind? I don't have any chips in my mind. Like, no, they figured it out.

It's like, that's where the brain waves. That's where the circuitry cuts for like people of a certain age. Yeah, like it's just, we just won't get it. And anyway, that's what we're doing. He's, so Gavin's got a show. Not an internet show, it's a show. It's a show. It's not the other kind of doing. He's so Gavin's got a show not an internet show to show It's a show it's not the other kind of show. He's a real famous guy. So I was I was really excited to be on there

I just tweeted at him as a lark and he's like yeah calling in the morning. So I'm saying good. Oh shit No way cool. I've done this dude. I've known about the guy forever. Mm-hmm. I think he's very funny And I love that he I love that he does shit like reads and culture's speech, it Berkeley. Like I like that he stands up for that kind of stuff. And he does. Yeah. I like that he's pro men.

A lot of people think he goes too far, you know? But I like, I really like that he's pro men. I like, I like the guy, I like watching him, right? Like, I just like the guy. Like I've seen him, I remember when, and this is why I bring it up, I wake up, it's, the interview is, is eight in the morning LA time. So I'm like, no problem.

And he does a daily show. He does a daily show, he's in New York. He's in New York, so it's, right, okay. So it's eight in the morning LA eight in the morning, LA time. And I'm like, all right, you know, I'll set up every alarm in the house and get a series of wake up calls and drink 10 glasses of water so I don't sleep through this and become a laughing stock on this network. He commands a very powerful legion of fans.

You know, you can imagine, right? Yeah. You can be, we saw it like at the trocadero. He commands this power, I don't want to embarrass myself by committing this faux pas of just totally standing somebody up. So I'm setting every fucking alarm in the house is what I'm saying. Like I'm going around knocking on doors,

having people wake me up at this and this time, cause I just, you know, so I get up at eight o'clock, I wander, I'm osy into the studio, have a nice hot cup of gel to wake me up in the morning to get those synapses firing, so I don't, cause it's lunchtime, it's pre-lunchtime for Gavin. He's ready to eat someone's throat. It's 8 a.m. for me.

I want to be back in bed. For another three hours. For another three or four hours. Yes. So I get that pipe and hot cup of Joe in the studio down here. And his producer calls me up. He's like, all right, just turn on your camera.

And we'll be all set. And I'm like, you got it. But in my mind, I'm thinking, oh, fuck me, Jesus. Shit. So I look at my, like I look at my screen and the camera and I'm like, I look like, I look like a piece of shit. I look like a, I look like, I have like a cut man eyes. Like I look like Rocky in the 12th round, whereas eyes are all swollen shut. And I mean, I have like a cut man eyes. Like I look like Rocky in the 12th round, whereas eyes are all swollen shut. And I mean, I'm looking at this face of mine. Like can I just get a guy in here to do some cut work

on my fucking eyelids? And plus, and I'm sweating because I'm drinking hot coffee to prep for this show. And I'm in the studio. I'm in the concrete mountain bunker. I look like when I wake up, I'm multi-ethnic, half Mexican, half white, except when I wake up, I'm 100 ethnicities in one.

Like, I'm, yes, I'm all of the ethnicities that have a, except they all have a hangover. They've all of the ethnicity, I've got little, little tiny eyes, and I look like a potato. My eyes look like a potato. My eyes look like raisins somehow. Literally a potato or a figurative potato, because literally.

Yeah, because literally another potato. Like grandpa meme, right? Yeah, what do you mean? What you talking about? Potato. What do you mean? That's like the Ching Chong potato. Oh, oh, oh, oh.

Right. Yes, yes, yes. I look like that guy. A one, two, and a, yeah. Still funny, still funny. And you know, my hair looks, my hairline looks like it starts at the crack of my ass. It's so far back.

Well, I don't even know what people are talking about. Your hair line looks fine to me. It always lies. I don't know. It's like you said, maybe it's different on your head, but you got, I tried to. I heard people talk about like, oh, well, he's It's always nice. I don't know. It's like he said, maybe it's different on your head, but you got, I tried to people talk about like, oh, well, he's probably going bald. Like, I don't know, you're the furthest fucking thing

from bald. I see all the time. I compare to a picture of myself with life coach and leader hosin from two October fest, with like seven years in between. I swear to God, my hairline is encroaching upon my eyes. First case in history, first medical case in history. Now I've got this little pompedor going now.

I'm trying to trick people who watch this show and the Patreon video feed patreon.com slash the dick show. Anyway, I get on there and it was really fucking cool. The first thing Gavin says is that he surprised, we've never spoken before because we've been like doing the same shit. Yeah. What are you looking at? Oh, nothing. I was just I was reading a comment really quick. You know what? You got in the comments. People say how how I look like a potato like a balding potato, they say, Hey, Sean been

lifting recently. Like get the fuck get out of here. He doesn't even read these comments. Sean, what are you saying to me? Yeah, I don't lift any more or less than like I ever have. So I eat it. I eat too much. I don't work out hard enough and I'm caring less and less every day. It's true. It's a fucking march toward death and you lose your willpower a long way. That's very true. I remember being worried about what I look like, but I'm like, I don't fucking care. I mean, you don't care. So the first thing Gavin says to me is, he's surprised we haven't talked because we've

had the same wavelength for 10 years. And I'm like, I totally, it's so funny that he says that because the first time I ever knew of Gavin, I was watching, I was watching some clip or something like 10 years ago, right when men and men came out. Right when that, like right when the doctor feels stuff happened, right when that was like, right when it was starting to feel like some kind of launch and then it just isn't because that's publishing. Yeah. Like a book, it feels like something, and then like two weeks afterwards, it's just not something that kind of happened. Yeah, it's just something that like happened to you. You realize that like there's like a small circle

who cares as much as you do, and like most of the world is completely unaffected by even the biggest book launch. Yeah. And the way it actually works is no, you have to do it all the time. Yeah. People have this idea of writing a book and putting a book out like,

oh, then that's it. Yeah. Like I'm JD Salinger. Yeah, you have to, I'm writing a book this November. I'm just gonna sit down and book my phone and that'll be it. That's my memoirs. Then the whole world can look at this.

It's like, yeah, you know, you sell, if you sell 5,000 copies, it's a hit. And then that's it. That's it. That's the next thing, like a one night stand. It's a beautiful book. Anyway, I remember 10 years ago when men and women just came out, I saw Gavin on a clip on the internet

and he was talking, he was debating with some, with a woman, with a journalist, who was a self-described feminist right on the Hannity show. And Gavin said simply, a lot of women would be happier being home makers and this idea that you need a career to be satisfied is lie. And it's hurting them. He's not the first person I've heard posit that. No, and it would be assinine to say that that's not true. Like, you don't, like what, that's not true for nobody.

Like, it's funny because people are always telling people what you need to feel complete. And people like buy into it because the people who say that are like on TV or something. And it used to be like, if you don't want kids, you're less of a woman. Like now it's like, if you don't want to be self-sufficient and a career woman, you're not a woman.

If you want, it's gonna be something else in, you know, 10 years. It's something you could talk about, but I remember the woman he was on the interview with, just looked totally stumped and kept turning to Hannity. And like, well, are you going to let him say that? He can't. He absolutely can't say that. And I remember watching it going, this son of a bitch, he's doing what I do better than

me. Like, he's, this guy's got it knocked. This is, I wish I was sitting here doing this on television, but I'm not, you know, I'm just, I'm doing other things. Um, and on the interview, I was thinking back on it on the interview, uh, which Gavin said the woman in question that he was having the debate with is now married with kids. He sued the TV station. He's now married living happily with, with kids, right? Exactly what she was arguing against. But it was so funny when he said it because it made me think of when men or men originally came out.

And it seemed like it seemed like it seemed like over the top satire. And now when I look at it, it just, it seems, it seems like a child wrote it. Like it seems, it seems so dated because that idea of like, of getting that idea of women needing to have a career to feel satisfied like this, trying to brain, trying to hammer them all day with all you need this has been so amplified with like, now not only is a career important, but you got to learn how to code and you got to learn how to play with Legos. And you could be a superhero too, not a princess. Like the thing that we were, the thing that we were joking about back then has been, has

exploded into an entire industry and that moment on Gavin's show when I realized like how far down the, down the rabbit hole hole, we like we lost that battle. We absolutely lost that battle and probably a hundred more after it. We're now sitting, we're now sitting in a world where well, we knocked, we got that, we got that message across. Now we got to go younger. Now you've got to, now we've got to train him even earlier to go against what you want. I think people should be able to do whatever they want to do.

Yeah. I don't see, I don't know, man, there's so much of indoctrination that's going on. I don't want to sound like a huge asshole, but it just seems like trying to talk people into doing stuff for no reason. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I know. I think certain people just want, for no reason. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

But what do I know? I think certain people just want certain groups want everybody just to be equally represented everywhere in every aspect of life and every career in every and it's like it's just, it's just not how we're all built. Yeah. And that's fine. Yeah. Um, it was a good time.

How did you get time to show? He's an interesting guy. He throws a lot of big, uh, big bids out there, big statements to see if you'll buy into them. Well, you know that game. Well, he does it. He does it a whole no their level. He's got a show.

Yeah, he's got a show here. All right. Uh, what makes me rage? Let me see what makes me rage this week. Check this out. Of all the stupid conspiracies that I've had from the last couple of weeks, like all the really made an ass of myself last week.

Last week it was very, the episode got mixed reviews. Got you, I can't see that. A lot of people really fucking hated it. And then like, a couple of science guys wrote me and said that they're writing a paper on exactly what I was talking about. Oh my God. No, I don't know.

What do I know, you know? Of all the conspiracies I've looked to do, breakfast, big, it turns out that there actually is a big breakfast, breakfast lobby. Oh, I thought you were just, no breakfast is bullshit. I mean the most important moment. It doesn't matter when you eat. No, all that stuff about kickstarting your metabolism.

It's bullshit. It's bullshit. It's all bullshit. It's all bullshit. John, I've been cramming, I've been cramming eggs down my throat. No. And trying to like do this, trying to put it down.

No, hammer it down. Hammer it down with fucking coffee and caffeine. Don't eat till fucking lunch. That's what I fucking found. Yeah, no, don't. Everybody's always on me about, oh, it's so bad. Do it every single fucking study I read. It's like when we thought that brain cells don't regenerate,

when we don't make new neural pathways, we don't regenerate, flies in the face of decades of scientific, except it's not real science. How come you can't fucking talk when you're this is the episode where you know everything? It's bullshit. Study.

No eating at all, eating a low cow, eating a low cow, and eating a high protein breakfast had no fucking effect on how much you eat for lunch. This whole time, it doesn't mean a goddamn thing. This whole time I've been fattening myself up at breakfast. Me too. I just stopped eating breakfast again. Well, I'm like fuck this. That sit man for breakfast.

Oh, this whole time I've been eating eggs and cereals, all this wheat and shit, only to find out that it's just a bunch of goddamn cereal manufacturers telling me I gotta eat breakfast every day. It's one of those things that seems like it would be true. Oh, I'm giving my body something to do right away. It thinks like it's, oh, it's making the engine work, but it doesn't work. Yeah, because it's like,

because everything is a car. Cause everything's gotta be a car. But see, everything works like, like I got to shoot a bunch of water, I gotta get a colonic and spray a bunch of water up my asshole, cause well, cars get gunked up, don't they? I guess a colon does too.

Yeah, the detox shit and all these people are fucking morons. Absolutely a lie. Yeah every part of out it is a lie I found no need to jumpstart it all the food that you eat is giving you a fucking heart attack Yep big surprise breakfast is Breakfast is deadly if it was the article I looked up. Neither breakfast nor the kind of breakfast consumed at any effect on the amount consumed. And the worst part about it is, as much as I like eating the breakfast food, it's the fucking aftertaste that it puts in my mouth,

like the eggs, which are basically fetus, like little embryos, excuse me, not fucking fetus is, which are little periods, chicken periods that you're eating, and the milk and the granola that sits in your mouth like a film, it tortures me from like eight until noon when I'm just as hungry as always. Right. Because I've just been telling my,

well, I'm just, I'm need X amount of calories today. I guess I could just as hungry as always. Right. Because I've just been telling my, well, I'm just, I'm need X amount of calories today. I guess I could just spread them out. Apparently that's a big lie. Big goddamn lie. Pushed by serial manufacturers. Well, out of all the things you're talking about, that was the thing you were writing.

I thought you kind of had some knowledge on that where, because I've heard more and more people talk about it. Where I was looking at, I was like, well, sure, sure does make sense. And somebody told me, where, because I've heard more and more people talk about it. Where I was looking at, I was like, well sure, sure does make sense. And somebody told me, somebody, who I don't really, I think much what they have to say.

I think I'm just saying, I don't know, this guy, like, it's like, yeah, he may have read ahead, line he may have read it. It's like, I was like, no, he kind of has a right. Who's that? Just a guy I work with. A guy that you work with,

who's telling you. Yeah, he's talking about like Howard Breakfasten now. He started when he was, he wanted to lose weight and he's a, he's a, um, he's barely there anymore. He's a touring guitar player and he, um, whoa, he's like hitting 30 now. So things are like slowing down and he's partyin' on tour

and all that and he's like, geez, I can't let myself go now and he's thinking about, he's like, I was eating tons of breakfast and I was, I think, you know, going to the gym and I started talkin' to trotters and new trotters. I started talkin' to nutritionists and all this kind of stuff. Now, all the food that you will kill you, it will make you fatter.

It doesn't help you not eat at any other time during the day. That was the point. Kids who eat it don't do any better in school than kids who don't eat breakfast. If they're not hungry, yeah, yeah. I didn't have any kind of clue because I grew up watching so many fucking cartoons just as addicted to TV as my dad Oh my god, well, that's the double sale. That's when I realized it's a fucking double sale dude because it's the Serials that are telling you that this is the serial the serial you want and they've already sold right past the breakfast Yeah, right fucking past it dude sales one all one

Sell past the fucking sale. They already sold you the balanced breakfast. They don't even have to prove that They never fucking proved it. It was like when I read this guy I started reading this guy's thing and it's like every fucking thing about it kids don't do better in school all of the All of the all of the charity for like poor kids when they're giving like poor people food is like breakfast items because there's a shitload of them and they don't go ahead. So scientists won't attack them because that would cause the funding to dry up. So you can't attack it because you take food at a poor kid's mouths, but that's, but it's making everybody fat. It's killing you.

It's all bullshit, Sean. It's all bullshit. It really fucking makes it really, really fucking made me a rage because I win so long without eating breakfast and thinking breakfast was bullshit. I didn't start eating breakfast until probably, sit five or six years ago.

Why don't you start eating breakfast? Just started to get hungry. Started to get more hungry in the morning. I got in the habit of it. I'm never eating breakfast again. No, fuck it. Never. Second cup of coffee.

I might not even eat lunch. Yeah. I'm just gonna wake up every morning and throw up out of spite to undo all the breakfasts I've ever done, exactly. Yep. Fucking disgusting. How come they can't sell cigarettes to kids,

but they could sell breakfast to kids? Yeah. Why is that? We got a fat country, start pushing cigarettes on them. Being fat is way worse than smoking. Cigarettes and coffee. Yeah. But these fucking parts of a balanced breakfast

is just a cigarette and a coffee. Cigarette. That's it. Coffee, brand muffin, go take a jog. Kids will take a three hour shit. I won't get it man. I was that made me such a rage. Um, I'll tell you what else made me rage. I was over at my And I got a bunch of things in the list today that made me rage. It's a real I was real pissed off this week. Maybe it was because of all the argument arguments as a result of the last episode

where I Think I lost the plot a little bit. I came in talking about Bill Nye, but I don't know where the fuck I ended up. I took that as more an attack on Bill Nye than anything else. That's what I took away from the whole science thing because I think they're taking our word. I think they took the word, they're taking the word science. Who is taking it?

You mean people like Bill Nye? The same like the personalities. Just like the personality, man. I don't know, like we want as a whole, we just want to be nice. We want everything to work out nicely. And in order to like push this idea that there's no conflict,

that in order to push the idea that everything is pretty, they just call it science and it's fucking not. Like, I don't know, I'm not making the point. Well, water boys, my mom was very pissed at me. He told me, water boys, his water boys mother is a, she's sort of a science. And she liked my, she liked one of my science rants about, she's probably pissed at you because she liked one of my science grants about,

she probably pissed at you because she thinks you're better than that probably. She must actually like you. I don't know. I don't want to piss so many people off. I pissed a lot of people off. And then I started getting, I started doing research on that sex and gender thing.

And I'm like, oh, fuck, I gotta stop researching this because I'm just gonna talk about it. And no, does anybody want to even hear about that anymore? Sex and gender. Yeah, because you remember you were saying that sex is one thing and gender meant another. Oh, well. And you said and go ahead.

Yeah, vaguely, I'm not sure if that was what I was talking about though. Oh no, you were saying because, weren't you saying that sex is a spectrum? Or gender was a spectrum and I just remember, you like gender is a spectrum. Yeah that sex is a spectrum? Or gender was a spectrum? Like I just remember, you like gender is a spectrum. Sexuality is a spectrum.

And what I meant was sexuality of course. Yeah, that was my only thing. Well now they're saying now gender. We barely touch on that though, didn't we? Oh gender is too. Now gender is too. Yeah, and it's like, well I don't, I don't know why that annoys me,

but yeah, like I don't wanna be that. That doesn't annoy me because like I don't give a shit. But, no, but things similar to that will annoy me. I'm gonna shit about, I don't know. I don't know anymore. You think about it, why don't you bring, why don't you bring in a rage for episode 50? Oh, okay.

Next, next week. I gotta, sure, I got a couple of them already. Really? Do you wanna be on the board? I mean, if you want me to be on the board. Of course I want everybody wants you to be on the board. Yeah, I mean, bring something in. Well, I mean, I just, I think that I bring things up

that piss me off, not like as a subject, but like, just stuff happens, you know, every week that I'm like pissed about that, but yeah. I don't know, I mean, does it need to be a special 50-rage or like? Well, next week is our 50th episode. Yeah, I know. Asterios is coming in.

Well, maybe I'll, or the fanboys is going to call in and. All right. We're going to build up this fist, this box. I've got a couple that would work already and I'll think about something in the week, but yeah, I'll, sure, I'll do a rage. All right. Yeah.

We need a boxing promoter, by the way, for New York City. Like we need to make this as real as legit as possible. Are they both in New York City? They're both, I think, yeah, they're both in, no, I think, I think war, the fanboys is near New York City, but not in, I mean, do you understand how big this event is? Asterios is aggressively liberal. Other liberals describe him as annoyingly liberal, you know, like he gets going, he's like the juggernaut of being liberal. Like he starts yelling and screaming about privilege

and corporations and he just, he builds his own steam inside of him. War, it's war of the fanboys, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. He came off to me, like an excellent comedian troll, the way that he talks, even the little, even the little verbal flubs,

that I thought he stuck in there intentionally. Maybe not if you're saying he's a real person. He's a real guy, man. That's like, I'm saying, like that would not be too long a con for me. He's not fucking if you guys go in back there to, you know what I mean? I don't know.

People of, do you want to read something that were the fanboys wrote on the Reddit? No, okay. I mean, or, I mean, if it's pertinent, but I mean, I just like, he's real, but from the whole thing to like, no, you stand up there, you step there. It's like, he wants us to ask about what?

He was talking about the angel of Philadelphia that he was sitting on the table. He had a big old post on it, but it's like, is that what that was? Yeah, I'm not gonna read it. It's on Reddit. I'll link to it. It's on Reddit. Yeah, so he's yelling on the table. He had a big old post on it, but it's like, is that what that was? Yeah, I'm not gonna read it. It's on Reddit. I'll link to it. Yeah, so he's yelling at the angel, too.

He's very fucking serious. He's the moderator of the Donald. Like, do you unders, this is what I'm saying. No one could possibly be fucking with that. There cannot be a bigger fight. Like boxing is about money and bullshit. And this fight is about something real Like for the people who lost on November 7th

They they want there's and there's no there's no place on the internet more hated and Reviled as as as a perfect representation of Donald Trump than the Donald. They know it, everybody knows it. And they don't, they're unapologetic about it. They don't care if you're a Trump supporter. I almost got myself, I almost got my own AMA booted off for talking shit about Syria before it. Like that's, and I, there's no bigger supporter than me.

You understand? Like even if you fuck up in your support. That's right. No, exactly. War of the fanboys is a whole new level. But this is the fight that we're talking about. Astarios, who voted for Trump? Yeah.

That doesn't matter. Oh, no, no, because he did it under false pretenses for bad reasons. Yeahenses for bad reasons. Yeah, for bad reasons. For impure reasons. And she was going to win New York anyway. Yeah. But this is these guys like, like, like, a glitch go and whoever he just fought, I forget who it was. Joshua, I think his last name is Joshua. He did have a fight though. He did. It was, it was supposed to be a great fight. They don't want to kill each other. Like every once in a while in boxing, there'll be a bit of real aggression. But otherwise, they're just pugilists out there.

It's professional pugilists. The Asterios War of the fanboys fight is not only an ideological battle, but it is two guys who want to fucking kill each other. We're the fanboys tweeted in the stereos that he's going to drive to New York last night to fight him. This is how until these guys are so how is this talking about like one can't wait till he dox is this racist home of transform homophob. It's like they're both both of them are pulling out no holds barge on so it's a battle of memes in the city of dream

Bill board sales is skyrocketing and they both have books I just want to remind everybody that they're both gonna have books. We're not gonna have fight the fight until they're This started after our last episode. I take it well Yeah, you're the voice of reason. You know it's trying to calm them down so we can have this fight like gentlemen I don't want the boxing I don't want the boxing match to get ruined by a fight, you know gentlemen This is the war room. We can't fight in the war room. Yeah, let's get you know fight it out with men Fight it out like men with our fists is John witherspoon says this is what makes you a man not doxing But you live, but you live. You gotta just fight.

Fight, you gotta get up. Anyway, here's what I'll tell you what makes me rich. The CEO of YouTube, woman by the name of Susan, Susan too many, Susan, which Kiki, she's getting interviewed. I think today or yesterday. They ask her if there's any sexism in Silicon Valley and she goes, well, yeah, I get interrupted. And that's a sexist microaggression. Because she gets interrupted.

That word, man, microaggression. Microaggression. Sean, this is a woman that's worth so much. $300 million. I get interrupted. I get interrupted. I get interrupted. Too many men are just going around interrupting for no reason, because it gets our dick's hard.

We're just going around interrupting. No, no fucking reason at all. Couldn't be a reason at all. I got news for you. Donald Trump gets interrupted. Yeah. Everybody gets interrupted. Everybody. Every, we should have, you know what we should do? Donald Trump gets interrupted. Yeah. Everybody gets interrupted.

Everybody. We should have, you know what we should do? As men, we should have, you know, they have like a day with no women and a day with no Mexicans. And like a day of blocking traffic and selling stupid pink hats, we should have a day of interrupting where everybody just interrupts all day, every day. That's the, it's not, it's, it's not gender specific. We're just going to go around and we're going to interrupt each other all day.

And everybody's going to talk until they get interrupted to knock, to knock this shit out of you. Like, like, face your fear therapy. We're going to make you, make you walk across the coals. You're gonna have to hold it to Ranchula. You're gonna have to get interrupted. Because it's not that bad. It's boy, it sure has held her back.

Oh yeah. Yeah, it's held her back. She's had a YouTube, huh? She's had a YouTube. A division of Google that breaks even, by the way. Yeah, good job. Way to go. You got the new TV and you managed to break even.

Good fucking job. Her clever strategy to take YouTube out of the red or out of the neutral is to charge me on my phone to run YouTube in the background while I'm doing other shit, which I know you can make it do, but you purposefully turn it off to try to squeeze money out of me. You bitch. We all know that we all know that every other app can play sound when it's in the background, except for fucking you too. Unless I go on YouTube red, you had the entire entire planets front page for video,

lost all the streaming to Twitch. Good fucking job. Way to stay on top of it, CEO. Maybe someone was trying to interrupt you and throw in, hey, this is a fucking stupid idea. God, that interrupting thing, man. If I, here's my, if I ever interrupt you and I don't know what you were gonna say,

you have full license to shoot me right in the head. Yeah. Because I get interrupted. Yeah. Because I'm just going, because I'm going on and on. So you understand what I'm saying. You, it's up to you to just tell me when to stop

by interrupting me. Yeah. I get it. I get your line of thinking. Yeah, I'm not gonna make you say, oh, enhance. I'm not a fucking CSI evidence picture. Oh, here's what I'm gonna say. That's it.

Yeah. You're just staring at me. No, I'll keep talking. I'll keep explaining it. Oh, then all the stats I found were so stupid about interrupting. How do you want to hear any of them? I don't even want to hear any of these stupid stats.

Up to you. Ah, men interrupted their female conversational partners two times, two point one times, during a three minute conversation. Was that bad? Three minutes and you're getting interrupted twice? What's the, no, that's not bad, but what's the, what's the inverse of that? The number dropped to 1.8 when they spoke to other men. It's basically the fucking same. 1.8 and 2.1. Yeah. Well, I mean, the women in the study rarely

interrupted their male counterparts, average of once. I'll bet that I want to know the number of words that were said in those three minutes. Suspiciously left out. How about that variable? You specifically left the fuck out. Oh yeah, science. Interrupting, man. Running one of the biggest businesses on the planet to get fucking interrupted too much. I hate horse shit stuff like that. When you're like, well, there's four or five fucking variables

right there. You can't test for that. No, no, no, no. All right, let me see who I got here. How you talked about Bill Nye? Oh, I found him shilling a product called active ion after my big rant last week. He's an ionizer, a spray that ionizes water, Sean.

You know how you know it's a scam? It's got either magnets or ions in it. That's funny. That's how you know it's a fucking scam. This dummy degree couldn't learn him that and he didn't understand chemistry with his engineering degree. This is not enough.

Unless you're saying you're just lying about it. What's the advantage of ionizing like a molecule? Cause like an ion has a different number of electrons. Yeah, it's got to do what it's charged. Yes. So like, okay, I don't know chemistry. Like I don't know, I don't know. You probably never know.

You never know. I know ionizing radiation is the bad kind. That's the kind of kills you. But in water, it's gonna go away immediately. Like there's a shitload. I just wanna know what it reportedly does. It kills you, but in water, it's gonna go away immediately. There's a shitload. I just wanna know what it reportedly does. It reportedly breaks down dirt when you spray it on the floor

and it makes wiping dirt away faster. This is the guy. This is the guy in the bow tie. All right, anyway. Let's see. I already covered that. I gotta thank a I got to thank a guy, I got to thank Jim Schmatz. I'm wearing my Adam Nash shirt. Yeah. Jim Schmatz, he made, he made these for the, the Philly Road Rage show. Did you get one? Yeah, I did. And I, I swore to God, I don't know where it is. Okay. Thanks, Jim. Jim

made a, sorry, high tick. Jim. Jim made, sorry, I tickles too. He made like little, little, dick currencies. Oh, I have those. You have them? Oh yeah. I gave all mine away.

How many do you have? Well, one. You gave it to me on stage. You're not getting it. Take a picture of it and send it to me. Yeah, no, it's actually very, very cool. It is really cool. It's very cool.

It is really cool. I hope I find that shirt too, because it's, I know it was backstage with my stuff and I don't know what happened to it after that. Someone probably stole it. I don't know, it was back there. No, look Sean, if something goes missing, somebody stole it. Not by fault.

Yeah, somebody fucking stole it. I couldn't possibly even stupid enough to have lost something. No, no, no, it's not under stuff in my car. I want to use somebody stole it. Find me everybody that works here in order, in the order that they can be chewed out. And the lowest one stole it. And if he didn't steal it, the one that's the way the world works. Let me get, I got a caller here. You see if he's here. Peach is saying, I hope, Asterios and that guy don't actually end up fighting. I don't want anyone to get hurt physically.

Somebody's getting hurt. I mean, look, you got two guys who are not professional fighters. Someone's getting hurt. They're both gonna get in and immediately tear their hamstrings. That's what's gonna happen. And give themselves hernias throwing the biggest haymaker on earth because they want their punch, because Asterios wants one of his punches to impeach Trump.

Yeah. And the thing with fights and way, way, way, is immediately go to the ground. Yeah. But they immediately go to the ground. Where the fanboys is gonna want a punch Asterios so hard that there's only two genders. That was the joke thing.

That's funny. Sorry, I fucking stepped all over that. It was still funny. Here's how I'm going to set it up. They're going to send me their info. I've already got word of fanboys info. I've seen pictures of them. I'm going to verify that everything's safe.

You know, it's not like Kimbo slice isn't stepping in the ring with a stereo. It's just a fair fight. And I've seen them both. I've seen both of the tail of the tape. I've seen them both. I've seen both of the tail of the tape. I've seen their height. I've seen their weight. I think we're talking about a fair fight here. I think we're talking about even money.

But we need to get a sanction. We need to get some kind of a local authority. We might have to move it to like New Jersey or something. Or offshore. Yeah, Tyson, Secretariat, right? That fight, we might have to go, we might all have to go on a big booze cruise, a big sea rage, just like, it'll be exactly like Scientology's sea floats. They can have a fight and then get married by the captain or something. Yeah. Hey, are you there, man? Hey, what do you want me to call you

for the sake of this interview? Oh, you can call me Tom. Tom, all right, Tom wrote me. Sorry, there we go. You hear me? That's a positive livestream. Yeah, there was a leg. Oh, yeah, I love that.

I love that that exists. Like remember the old radio, you got to turn your radio down. Yeah, I didn't know of it that much though, you know? The delay is longer now. Yeah, the delay is longer. We delay it about a week and a half. Yeah, I didn't know it'd be that much though, you know, the delays longer. No. Yeah, the delays. We delay it about a week and a half. Yeah. So the F word doesn't get through accidentally. Sure. I thought, happy singing to my you appropriate, uh, responsibility today. No, it's mine. I own it. I'm not appropriating shit. I can do whatever I want. I can make

speedy Gonzalez jokes on Twitter and not apologize for it. It's perfectly fine. You know, Speedy Gonzalez is the most pro, like the most positive stereotype of any race that there has ever been. All he does, first of all, he has a superpower and it's the best one. Everybody wants to be the flash more than Superman because it's too much responsibility to be Superman. Being the flash, you can hide it and just be a prick.

When the flash wins, it's like, man, the flash really pulled that one out because all he can do is run fast. But if Superman, if he loses, you just say, you don't look all the guy can do is run fast. He's still just a guy. But Superman loses and you're like Superman, you he loses, you just say, you don't look all the guy can do is run fast. He's still just a guy, but Superman loses, and you're like Superman, you fucking blew it. But if Superman wins and stops the earth from getting destroyed, you're like, you're supposed to.

Don't get cocky. Don't get cocky, Superman. That's your job. You got all the, so Speedy Gonzalez has the best super power, and he still manages to outsmart his enemies every time. Like he doesn't, he is better than the flash in fact, because the flash uses bullshit like the speed force and running through time and garbage and speedy Gonzalez has to outthink Sylvester the cat every time, every time.

It doesn't get any better. There is no better pro, whatever ethnicity, than speedy Gonzalez. That's what I'm saying. Makes absolutely very passionate about speedy Gonzalez. So Tom's got a, he wrote me because he's got a, he's a dickhead and he's got a movie about autism heading to can, the film festival.

Really? Yeah. He's an expert at it. Whoa, whoa, whoa. I mean, go ahead. I am an Autist. I never claimed to be an expert. I mean, I'm an expert in the sense that I have it,

and I've read about it, but. Look, Tom, I meant... But you have a film that was accepted by the Cannes Film Festival. It was. It was. I mean, that's not an easy thing to get into. No. No. It was accepted, sort of, because it's a human face to autism, I would say. I mean, if you watch the video, it is sappy as all fuck. It is, I look like a total silly pants, but, you know, it was from the heart. Wait a minute. How do you know it's sappy if you've got autism? Is that a good question?

Oh, it's a right question. Because isn't that like a thing? I don't believe anything. I don't believe anything. He's going to say no. Yeah, what's like, what's sappy to an artist? I guess in the sense that it's a bit saccharine. You know, I was speaking from the heart.

The girl I was with, Sandra shout out to her. Speaking from the heart, you know, we with, Sandra shout out to her, speaking from the heart. We were talking about our experiences on campus, basically, and how artists are looked upon. You know, I, in particular, am high functioning. So you could say that I'm pretty lucky. So, you know, I've gotten much better at, you know, socialization, picking up the social cues.

Getting better with the girls. What's your thing? What's your tick or hang up? Oh, that change is quite a bit. You're talking about the obsessions. Yeah, that change is quite a bit as the answer I wanted to hear. Okay. Yeah, yeah.

But is there a special name for you know that a type of high functioning artist such as yourself? Sorry about my voice. Yeah, no worries. High functioning autism is basically the catch. It's basically replaced Asperger's. I mean, Asperger's is fine to say too. You know, I won't fucking attack you over it. It's a excuse me. I can I believe I can explain this. It's works. Autism is like karate belts except it's with the characters from Thomas the Tank Engine where Thomas is the black belt and it goes down and Mr. Topham hat is absolutely no autism at all at the very bottom.

Tom, is that correct? Sure. I'm not too familiar with Thomas Tank Engine,, but I was gonna say my things are usually For the longest fucking time predictably was Minecraft You know, I I still watch Minecraft videos So do like at least 60 million other fucking people, so I'm not too worried about that right now I'm really into it. I've always been to history, but right now I'm reading a shitload about gangus con The Mongol Empire because I've recently started this project I've wanted to do, a heavy

metal rock opera. Stan from Auschwitz, by the way. About the rise of Genghis Khan. Let's see, it's sort of like a heavy metal Hamilton. Okay. You're writing a rock opera about Genghis Khan? Fuck you. After your can.

Did you really get into can? I did. here's the thing oh boy whoa whoa Sean oh boy please well there's a so there's this program called campus movie fest okay which is sort of this nationwide film festival and I go to Bridgewater State, and I got into the top four of Bridgewater State, so that went to the Georgia final. Maximum panic, there is absolutely nothing wrong with mine, but crap, sorry, YouTube comments. No, don't read those. You can't talk, I can read at the same time.

I got my hand up, I got my hand up, now I'm sorry. Don't do that. So, they went to Atlanta. I can't even do that, and I can text and drive and train. Everyone can. Everyone can. So in December, I applied to the cons program through BSU and through campus movie fest.

So what campus movie fest does is that they can bring 45 teams along. And I made it in. And so I know good. So you well, you sounded like you were kind of going to, you. And so, I know good. So you sound like you were kind of gonna, you know, qualify, I know you qualified it a little bit, but no, you made it in legitimately. That's great. Oh yeah, now, but no, you took it.

Good for you. Okay, so give us some stats about autism. Give me the rundown. We got a bunch of beautiful women entering the room right now, but I really want to know why. My first question, why is it so rampant on the internet? Why is like 80% of the people on the internet an autism? I would imagine that 80% of the internet is an autism because right now we got Generation Z.

I think that's the one coming up right now. Like there are about 11, 13 years old these days. They're getting on the internet now. And because autism diagnoses are rising, so now we, right now, it's like one in 63, I think, is an autism. So one in 63. Oh, I believe so, yeah. Yeah, that's okay.

So if you're encountering more than one in 63, then those people are just assholes. Is that right? Or Maddox. Oh my God, do you think he's, okay. That's your coup d'-graue of this interview is whether or not Maddox is on the spectrum. I am mad at you. I'm working with Tainted Evidence

because he can one diagnosis another? Yes, Sean, for the first time. Oh, sure. Absolutely. It's like it's like Gator. Is that true? For me, at least. What kind of stuff do you look for in diagnosing an autism?

Here comes his next movie. Oh, I look for the ticks. I look for how they talk, you know, it can be robotic. You know, that's one of the stereotypes, but I think it's true because it's a lot of things like motor skills, those are trained things. Okay. If they'll talk to you, if they'll talk to you

about one subject, well, really talk at you, like the fucking do you wanna guys. They'll talk to you. Like talk to you about like a jet pack heist. Constantly. Oh, does he talk to you off like a jet pack heist. Constantly. Oh, does he talk to you off air about that too? I every single thing I ever heard on that podcast, I had heard off air before at least once.

Ha ha ha. At least. You tested it on you. Yes. Oh, yeah. And I learned that it was a test before. So I would spoil, when Maddox would ask me, like run ideas by me. I knew he was running them by me to argue them on the show. And I was your friends. No, no, no, no, no. So I would poison

the earth. I would poison the experiment by giving a dumb answer. And then on the show, like the famous libertarian HOA, HOA argument. Oh, that fucking episode. I had heard twice before in real life over lunch, and I was like, well, yeah, you're making a lot of points. And then as soon as he brought it up, I was like, this is a fucking stupid thing I've ever heard. There's the greatest fucking sandbag ever.

Oh, man. That episode actually, maybe you kind of hate him as an artist. You know, he has all these stereotypes in his head. Like, he ended the episode. I didn't know what the fuck he was talking about. I don't know if anyone did. Well, no one knew what the fuck he was talking about

for the whole episode, but he ends them. Well, what if they're artistic? What if a libertarian is artistic? Well, you remember that? Yeah, no, I mean, I obviously don't. You've got the memory here. Oh, well, of course I do. Yeah. But the implication, I mean I obviously don't you you've got the memory here. Oh well, of course Yeah, but the implication I think his implication was that people with autism can't hold a job that they can't own a home that they can't drive a car

No, it's really untrue really untrue. No And so yeah, I think that's what high-functioning autism and a high-functioning artist makes up about, I think, 30% of people in the spectrum. So, yeah, he's working with really, really old stats if he's working with any at all. I think when people think of somebody like the classic, you know, picture of autism is like a kid who doesn't talk to anybody in rocks back and forth and plays with the same toy over and over.

Yeah, exactly, right. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, exactly. How, exactly. Yeah. Exactly. How does it work for picking up chicks? Like, do you have to keep it a secret when you're talking to them? You share the talk. Well, I've learned to, I've learned to.

I'm still, I'm still learning, you know, I've gotten better. Now that I'm at a college, well, I'm about so I walk on the 13th. I, I plan on being more of a lift. I've never been in great shape, but, you know, fuck it. I'm more of a lift. Yeah, I'm more of a lift. I've never been in great shape, but fuck it. I'm more of a lift. I just got that. I was like, yeah, yeah, yeah. What do they, how do they react when you tell them?

Like, do you keep it secret? Like, herpes, you do let them know right up front. I think I think my, like, having a kid. I think my generation is either progressive enough or enough of a social justice warrior to at least act like it doesn't bug them. A lot of them will say that they don't notice. And I think I'm confident enough that I believe them.

Some that have you noticed? I would notice if you didn't like if I didn't already know that you had a film based on autism and that you were self, whatever in that you were. What's calling yourself like? There's nothing to notice. He's not doing anything routinely strange. and that you were self, whatever, and that you were, calling yourself like this, there's nothing to notice. He's not doing anything routinely strange. No.

Well, you have a sample size of about 10 minutes. Oh. Man, that's 10 minutes more than I need. I just need to look at you and I know everything that I hate about you. And that's it. There's nothing to like about anybody. That's my motto.

So I have a list, do I have a twang, no vocal fry. What do you hate about me? No, no, no, I'm just kidding. Okay, now I do, no, I do know that you're. All right. So what do you think? What is Maddox and autism or what? See, I have tainted evidence because the episode so fucking much, I would say no, because I think he's too good at manipulation. Oh, I think he has too much of an understanding of the human condition in all the worst ways. Okay. Explain. What do you mean?

Well, first off, obviously, if he's had a attractive girl, that's, that's, that's not, that's not nice to say. What? Say it. Nothing about this show is nice. No, it's a good point. Just coming off as an artist, I think if it's that easy to pick up girls, then you must have some sort of built in, some built in social skills. Like he describes, I don't know if he could have been lying, but I don't know if he talked about on this show, but on the best debate, which I have been listening to in a few months, he just started shouldn't

the bed. Well, actually, I stopped listening coinciding with Sean leaving, I think. He described talking about a lot of things. He stopped listening to the best debate after Sean left. Yeah. He described banging three sisters of the same family. This was when he was in Utah or something like that. And I'm thinking Rosie Redpom,

and her two sisters. Oh, yeah, that must have been it with the fucking the trees, the prickly pear trees or whatever the fuck. Yeah. I'm thinking, you know, he's got something going for him because I know you were both friends with Tucker Max, so maybe he gave you guys some pointers. I knew the guy. I met him. I met Tucker twice. He was a funny.

He was a funny guy. I wish I would have, I wish I would have hung around him more. I wish I had had another chance to hang out with him. He's very fun. He's very aggressive. Yeah. He's like the opposite of Dustin. Like I like, and the second time I was around Tucker, he tried to bang my girlfriend by offering her a part in his movie. This was the second, it was that, I think it was it. Maddox's fucking birthday party. It was his 30th birthday party. I was the movie called the cliche. Yeah. Yeah. We had a fucking movie. And that sounds like something he advised against

doing. He did it. It was just awful. It was really fucking terrible. And knowing and knowing a little bit about him, I kind of have a theory of why it was so bad, but it was real fucking bad. Anyway, at this party, it's too bad too, because he would have been the first one to make it from the internet to like being super famous. From a time when all you could do on the internet was right, and he took it to best selling book that's probably that I still see in the airport every once in a while, to financing his own movie, to telling every studio to go fuck themselves,

and then the movie finally came out, and it was absolute garbage. It was like, oh man, if it, like if you, and it's hard making a movie. I remember that, I remember that movie actually. I hope they served beer in hell. Yeah, like I'm not. They know they're made a movie. Yeah, I'm not saying it's easy to making a movie. I remember that. I remember that movie actually. I hope they serve beer in hell. Yeah. Yeah, like I'm not.

I didn't know that we made a movie. Yeah, I'm not saying it's easy to make a movie. Like I'm not saying I could make a movie. It's, I don't know what the, I don't know what the success, like even the most talented people, it's like, I don't know man, is your movie going to be good? Is it not going to be good? I get an audio. His movie came out as fucking terrible.

And because he had gone so aggressively, like anti studio in my opinion, cause he was telling people to go fuck themselves. And he got, he got, I heard he got banned from his own set. Because of that, people are like, oh, this is how you internet people are. You guys can all go back into your mom's basements and go fuck yourself.

Like nobody's getting any money after that Salta the earth. Yeah, it was too bad because it would have been it would have been a cool story like he was He had a reputation for being a huge dick and maybe he was but he was a nice guy when I met him He was just like married with kids now, isn't he? Yeah, I think he's got a podcast too We just got this bad listening to his mating grounds podcast, trying to, because he's not a picking guy at least not now. Yeah, it's like he wasn't a pick up guy when he tried to pick up my girlfriend either by giving her a pardon his movie.

And then fucking schmaltz. Yeah, even I wouldn't do that. She was laughing and out of nowhere, he just looked at her for a second and then looked at me and said, and we were like across the room from each other and he goes, are you fucking him? And she starts laughing. Like, it wasn't as aggressive as I'm doing,

because I can't do it. Like, I can't pull off the same tone that he had. He's like, are you fucking him? And she's like, yeah, laughing, yeah. And he's like, oh, god damn it, get out. I don't want to talk to you. Get the fuck out of here. You didn't know.

So later, she goes, we're driving home and she's like, oh, I wonder if Tucker's gonna, gonna email me about the part in his movie. I'm like, are you, are you fucking stupid? There's no, there's no part in the movie. Get at it here. All right. So what's your, what briefly, what's your movie about? It's a, what's a call?

What's a call? Oh, it's called spectral analysis. Okay, spectral analysis. Yeah. So if I play on It's a, what's a call? A free documentary. Oh, it's called Spectral Analysis. Okay, Spectral Analysis. Yeah, so of a play on the chemistry thing. It's basically just two interviews cut together. It's five minutes as per the campus movie Fest Rules. Okay.

It's me and this girl, Cassie, talking about our experiences, living on campus and growing up with autism. It's a bit, it's a bit cryptic, if you know, until the very end where we describe where we just, it's like a big deal. So this girl has autism too. Yes, which is my favorite.

I never hear about a girl with autism. They're much rarer. It's about one in four people in the spectrum. Real? Oh yeah. Is there any consensus? Are they able to clean the bathroom? Or is that, is it the one in 1,000 girl that can keep a fucking bathroom

from looking like a typhoon hit a CVS? I'd ask that I'd have to ask her. I'll check her apartments when we're in France. Do any experts have any theories or any hypotheses as to why that is? I would guess, you know, it's got to be something chromosomal, you know? No. Yeah. Yeah,al, you know. Yeah, yeah, I don't know. I'm not a I'm not a Bill. I are you trying to are you trying to hook up with this girl? What's what's going on? What's the situation?

She is, you know, I wouldn't turn her down. She's very attractive, but we're talking about a France romance Have you been to can have I been to cans. Oh God no. It might be the only time I ever go. You know my well, you will enjoy it. Are you gonna put the hell of a place to go? Are you gonna put the moves on her at all? She might be listening to this Tuesday. I know I'm trying to help you out dude. But you understand what I do here. She can just like, She'll, you know,

All I'll say is, All I'll say is I won't turn it down. Oh, all right. You crazy kid. You know, I'm really not that, I'm really not that expert. My only,

look, I banged once in my life and it was not pleasant. Okay, don't leave that on the, don't take that with you. Leave that in America. And for you, I'll leave that in America. I'll leave that in America. I'll leave that in America and I'll leave that in the way that I'm going times you want. It's not an erotic tale. Yeah. Uh, so maybe so maybe. Okay, so maybe the future the future. I'm always looking up. Yeah. Good luck and can. Uh, what makes you a rage? Real quick. Well, it makes me a

rage dude. This was this was stressful. This is the Sophie, this is like Sophie's choice. Only Sophie had three more kids before she had to make the choice. What's choosing? I call it making a chart. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So, here's what I, this is equal to Sophie's choice. Sophie's chart. You remember Sophie that had to pick the which kids you wanted to keep? That, why did the same thing keeps happening to me? Now she's got four kids and she's got to pick the which kids you wanted to keep. Then why did the same thing keeps happening to me?

Now she's got four kids and she's got to pick the one that survives. It's so feasting sharp. Here's a chart. Well, this one lips off too much. This one could play a violin. So yeah, there was, you know, there was the Mass Effect 3, I think, which sucked.

But what I'm going with is what I call moving the goal posts. OK. And I do that all the time. Yeah. And with is what I call moving the goal posts. Okay. And I do that all the time. Yeah. And you don't want to argue what you have is you realize you're losing. So what you do is you change the conditions of the arguments to suit you. So for example, today is Cinco de Mayo.

And people, I'm sure people are saying like don't you dare celebrate Cinco de Mayo. Don't you dare drink that malgoret or wear that some braero? And these are the same fucking people who on St. Patrick's there are going to be down in the green Guinness and wearing the stupid fucking green plastic hats. And their response will be, oh, the Irish were never a marginalized group. Bullshit. The Irish one of the most marginalized groups this country's ever seen. But my marginal is it. And that's another thing. The more the just put more in front of any statement.

And it sounds stupid. Right. I heard a great racist joke recently, like an old timey racist joke. As I love, you know, I love I'm a piece of shit. I love I love learning. When I go to a new country, I don't want to learn the swear words. I want their racist jokes. I went to Costa Rica with Sean long time ago. And the first thing I asked the guy that we were we were taking a little trip

to the jungle. And I'm like, hey, hey, what's the, what's who do you, who do you guys hate here? Who do you guys hate? He's gone. Nicaraguan. Yeah. All right. What's here? Yeah. Give me a joke. What do you got? Do you got jokes about Nicaraguan? And the guy goes, yeah, yeah, we got joke. This is this is a Costa Rican racist joke that I'm going to tell you that I learned from a guy in Costa Rica. I know this one. Yeah, you'll remember. And the guy goes,

the guy goes, all right. All right. I'll tell you he's very broken, very broken English. Hi, I ain't had it. Three, three people are on, three people are on a plane. The plane's going down. It's an American, a Costa Rican, and a Nicaragua. And they say the plane's going down. We need to lighten the load.

We need to get rid of cargo. We've already dumped out the cargo, but you three guys, you need to get rid of whatever you have too much of. Whatever you are just overloaded with you guys need to get rid of the American goes oh I'll just I'll just dump some money out of the plane. This is and this is this guy telling me all right that's why you guys that's pretty funny fuck yeah a little bit of fuck America. So he starts throwing all these bags of money out the

plane. And so they go the Nicaraguan guy goes all right Nicaraguan goes we got too many guns and Nicaraguan to throw all these guns, Nicaraguan goes, oh, we got too many guns in Nicaraguan. I'm gonna throw all these guns out of the plane. Just tossing all the guns at there because they have an abundance of guns. He goes, okay, coast to wreaking guy. What are you gonna get rid of? He grabs the Nicaraguan guy and throws him out of the plane. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha I forget, why did I start telling this? I'm about racism. Oh yeah, regarding Irish people, I read an old time racist joke where somebody visiting

America and like the very earliest parts of America said, oh, it's a great country. I forget the fucking joke. Oh, so too many Irish people. I was being the worst. Yeah, like it was like a great country except if only like the Irish people and black people or something like that. Oh, yeah. Well that joke in blazing saddles is like not a joke. All right, we'll take the N words and the C words. Yeah, but we don't want the Irish. Yeah, that's fucking true. All right, moving the goalposts.

Yeah, also speaking of Ireland, a lot of artists, DNA comes from Ireland, the British islands, you know, it's a very, is it on the spectrum? I created the spectrum. I don't know, the road rage you looked very disinterested. Right, well, yeah, there were so many lights and sounds. It was overla�y overload, you know, is that a sensory overload? Is that a thing? I just wanted my time. I wanted my little red tractor and I didn't have it. I did. I did. Tiffany definitely,ractor. And I didn't have it. I did.

Tiffany, definitely. There's this play I'd never seen it, but the curious case of the dog in the nighttime, I guess it's about like autism ends. The lighting directors basically as a massive fuck you to the audience to get them to know what it's like to have autism and react to sites and sounds like that. They just put it to 11. Like people in the audience would be shielding their eyes and covering their ears. Yeah. Well, that was going on in Sean's head. All right, buddy.

Good luck and can. Give us an update if you and that girl hook up. If you and your film partner, always mix business and pleasure. That's my motto. If you have there's a chance, if there's a chance that you can hook up with someone you work with, do it every time. Because that was my first time and she was 400 pounds and she was on top for an hour. She came three times. I didn't have nothing. And the whole time I had to take a dump.

No, no, no, no, no. This is, well, you can make up for that. All right. Get out, get out of here. Get out of here. Get lucky. I'm doing more than ever. Yeah. Before you do any more damage. No, no, no, this is well, you can make up for that. All right, get out of here. Get out of here. Good luck. I'm doing more damage. Yeah, before you do any more damage. Thanks for calling. Good God. Okay.

Let me, let me change the cameras a little bit. Lacey is here. She's going to read us some news. Hello, Lacey. Lacey, welcome to the program. You are, you're in front of the new Dixho flag that ACU, ACIOU, ACU got us.

Look at this beautiful, I love it, I love the colors. Oh my gosh. The Dignited States of America, Black and Gray and Black and Gray. Absolutely. A guy named ACU spelled ACIOU made this. Yeah, I'm still confused about that.

Oh, he does that. ACU. Yeah. All right, you've got some news for us. What do you think does New York gonna hook up? Spectral analysis and the girl that he's got I hope I am with. I hope so. I really fucking see if two, if two Autis who keeps his mouth shut, he has a chance. No, I mean, he was fine.

Like he was like, you know, talking about how John butterflies do it's all. It doesn't chance. No, I mean, he was fine. Like he was like, you know, talking about how John that applies to us all. It doesn't it though. That's me serious. Doesn't it? But I mean, you know, I'm afraid he might actually bring up the 400 pound check, you know what I mean? Yeah, he sent in an erotic story.

Oh, no, I think it's, what's that? They'll hook up. You think they'll hook up? For sure. Point that mic right at your mouth. Oop, oop. They'll hook up for sure. For sure. I think they'll hook up for sure point that point that micro to your mouth. Oh They'll hook up for sure for sure I think they'll hook up and that they'll produce like a superhuman Maybe like the smartest person a lot like that kid and looper

That was that could control Stuff with his mind something like that. Yeah Or maybe or someone who's so annoying, when two artists hook up, they produce an offspring who can be so annoying that people's heads explode. And they'll weaponize this boy. They'll send him into the Middle East and he'll just walk around talking to the ices and their heads will explode. They'll get so enraged by this kid. All right, if you got some news? I got some news.

All right, so have you heard of the latest Delta debacle? Delta. Delta. No, just United has been in the news. Yeah. All right. All right, so Delta. We made it through that whole thing

without talking about airlines. Do you believe that? Yeah. Let me talk about it at all. Yeah, I'm bringing it up. Delta told a family that they're going to jail and that their kids are headed to foster care. Good.

A video recently surfaced of Delta employees arguing with a family over an overbooked flight from Maui to Los Angeles. Yeah. God, every time I get on a plane now, I'm just hoping that it happens to me. That was just shit talking by Delta. Right. They're just like talking by Delta. Right.

They're just like, heated moment. So in a heated moment, like one of the fucking flight attendants or whatever it was just like. Just a wait-off and told them that they were going to jail if they didn't leave, get off the flight.

It was over there. It was over there. You know, your kids are going to foster care. What did they do? What caused them to react like that? All right, so Delta told the family that they needed to give up a sea occupied by their two-year-old son

and have him seated on one of their laps for the flight back from Maui to Los Angeles. Yeah, Maui to Los Angeles. Five hour flight. Five hour flight. Two-hour kid. Two-year-old said a little and said his company policy.

You know how weird and awkward it is to even have a child next to your weener for like 10 seconds? They want that for five hours. Did they see over my dead body? With airlines, if the kids under a certain size or age, I don't think you have to buy a ticket for them, right? Like see, that's what I want to know. Like, did they, obviously, if they bought a ticket for them,

and it's three tickets, and there's three of them, then the airlines weigh a lot. Well, you see, Sean, that they've've got they've got in their terms of service that they can do whatever they want. I know. So this is this is what that's what drives me the most insane about the airline thing is that it's people are tripping over themselves to prove that the airlines are technically correct. Yeah.'s like, it's like you're playing monopoly with somebody and they're like, excuse me, but in the rules, it doesn't say free parking.

You say, but free parking is what makes the game fun. So if you fuck with the free parking, I'm gonna wad the box up and the game board and shove it down your fucking throat. Like I'm trying to shove a hair ball out of a drain. Shut the fuck up with the terms of service. It's just words on a paper. It's words on a paper. We bail these fucking assholes out every time they're going out of business, every time, every time the employee quoted their own rules wrong, even.

Doesn't matter. So what's the rule? The rule is a child under two may fly in the same seat as a guardian, but a kid two and over needs to have their own seat. That's it. Oh, so they bought, so they did, they bought the ticket for, yes.

They originally bought it for their older son, but he went home a day early, and then they switched the ticket. Well, they originally bought it for their older son, but he went home a day early And then they switched the take off. Well cares had three people in three tickets So there's my fucking imaginary friend is there don't touch him. Don't touch him or I'm just gonna start screaming Like every fucking time it happens. This is my my fantasy is to see is to see the flight attendant Walk on the front of the plane Three cops walking after her and she points right at me. And I'm gonna say, you know what?

At least one of us is gonna be dead. Either you guys are gonna have to fucking kill me on Facebook live to get me out of this seat or all four of you are going to die. Cause I'm not getting up. And bigger guys than you have kicked me out of more expensive places than this. Let's fucking go! I'm taking all my fucking clothes off like Bronson! We're gonna fight everybody give me those little bottles

of liquor so I can get sauce. That was my I fucking wake up with a wet dream at the thought of a stewardess leading a bunch of Airport cops in and boy that guy right there the computer picked him Yep, the computer picked me to go straight to heaven to be famous for getting in a fist fight on an airline with a bunch of police men My fucking fantasy. This is if if there is a, if there is a heaven, it is me quantum leaping like Samuel Beckett into the next person. If I had one wish, please Ziggy,

send me into the next person who gets kicked off an airline because a little girl is gonna get up and throttle three cops with catch phrases. You're grounded every single one. Aircraftic control. We got a right hook coming in clearance to land cabal Officer you're grounded You fucking fashions Anyway So did they get home

The guy the two year old to the two year old get home? They eventually surrendered, but they all just said that's enough. Or they adjusted right last time. They kicked him out of the airport at midnight. Oh, they did. Send him packing. They have spent $2,000 to rebook their flights. Oh, shit.

Well, that's gonna fucking... And there's hated so much that nothing will be done. They're not gonna lose any business. Because... Because when it comes to like saving a dollar, it couldn't even need to be Al Qaeda that flew the plane into the World Trade Center. If Delta had done it the next day, people would be like, yeah, but it's $5 cheaper than United.

Like I don't care if they just launched a terrorist attack. Oh. Al Qaeda does, it's sending the military well, you know felt a I still got a fly. Yeah Love the airlines. What's the next one? Do you have something to say about it Sean? No All right, all right, all right listen to this neurosurgeon putting other surgeons out of work Uh-oh William work. William could well has invented, along with other researchers at the University of Utah, has invented a new robotic drill that performs brain surgery 50 times faster than

a surgeon can. It literally performs the surgery. It's just, I've got this stacks of patience outside the surgery door and I just can't work. Quick enough. Fast them up. What is, it's probably dangerous to keep them under and the brains. Totally. Yeah, I think that's a huge improvement, don't you guys think? Sounds like it.

Does it make people skinnier? That's the only medical breakthroughs I'm interested in. It only takes two and a half minutes to perform cranial surgery. So no. No, no, no. So it doesn't make anybody skinnier. Well, minutes to perform cranial surgery. Yeah, so no. No, no, no. So it doesn't make anybody's skin. Well, I mean, it's to find surgery. I mean, I can do it faster than that.

Doesn't mean you're going to like free soul. Like guarantee you, if you want me to get into somebody's head, I can do it faster than two and a half minutes. Give me this clock, amrael. So you brain surgery, whack. So is it as successful as the human? Yeah, no, it's so far it's been pretty successful. Well, how many time?

Well, how many time? The article actually doesn't talk about how they've applied it to humans. They so far just been using it on plastic and cadavers, but definitely a vast improvement. And cadavers. I think you said cadavers. Oh, shit. That's a cadaver. Oh, shit.

That's like a cadaver that can escape. That's a chocolate. No, okay, like a cadaver, cadaver. So yeah. A cadaver made, that's what Podesta eats for dessert. He's a cadaver. I was thinking like a cadaver that puts it together body parts to get out of situations.

Like he fights crime, he fights non-descript criminals by piecing, like, I'll just take my bladder and I'll wrap my, one of my testicles around it. And that makes, yeah, like Magyver, you understand. And it's like at a cadaver in a leather jacket that goes around with a vaguely Middle Eastern and Colombian places solving crimes

using his own body patterns, using his tendons. Bad stench and a mullet. Yeah. Should diver. A mullet, a cadaver with a mullet and a leather jacket. With his nuts hanging out. No other clothing at all. Like, Donald Duck.

He's got no pants. Using gross, only gross things, like his teeth, and his eyelids making weapons out of these things. Oh, God. That's interesting news article. Oh, God. All right. I have to go home.

Very educational. So two comedians pranked this TV station into thinking that they were fitness gurus and hosted a live TV segment and have recently been sued. They got sued. Yes. They're trying to prove a point that how easily it is to produce fake news. What happened? Say it. Say it slower. All right. So thinking about good. I was like, words.

I was thinking about who would his bad guy be. Did my guy forever have a bad guy? It was just like, communist, right? I was just terrorists. I'm sorry, what? I think I just town- How's your voice doing? It sounds better. Oh, it sounds great.

Sounds better at all. Sounds better than earlier. Ruffle. No, you just think it sounds better because you're looking at him now. You're like, oh my god, he's so beautiful. The voice was sound better. Oh, that's what happens. I have to get truck that needs brakes.

Sometimes you're talking to a beautiful woman and you close your eyes. You're like, oh my god, that's what she sounds. That's what I'm, oh thank you. I'm ready now. I'm ready now. Listen. The owners of A-Wiz Cawson TV station is doing two comedians who pranked their morning news show by pretending to be fitness experts.

Oh, because they don't, yeah, because they got caught looking stupid. What the fuck is it? And not doing their work. Not doing any work. Not doing any research about who the fuck they have on the show. They should have thoroughly researched them. You could easily search their names, find out that they're two comedians. They've done it before.

This is not the first time that they pull this prank. Yeah, that's it. Why don't they just start doing fake prank? They were demonstrating exercises like the tennis racket sword fight and stomping on straw baskets. Stomping on straw baskets? And karate chop sticks. It was hilarious.

What's a karate chop stick? What kind of exercises are we doing? And the other one is chopping. Just chopping the sticks. Chopsticks, chopping chopsticks in half. That's funny. That's funny. On a live news segment, that's hilarious. How is that not fitness?

Why are they not fitness? Well, you get whatever Billy Boe or Tybe doing Tai Boe and he's balancing on an inflatable ball saying you need to work out six hours a day. If there's a guy chopping up chopsticks, I'm more likely to do the chopping up of the chopsticks than all that other stuff. Yeah. That's more fitnessy than the other one. Oh, and it seems attainable.

It's attainable. Yeah. You get them in a- Start small. Start very small. Yeah. Like when you train a run of marathon. A train of an marathon.

Everyday type exercises. Just today, move your pinky finger a little bit bit like you're waking up out of a coma That's what half of the country needs for their exercise regimen today We're just gonna move your finger a little bit. There's a two thousand year plan to get in shape Every day we're moving one you have five thousand muscles in your body every day. We're moving one more than the last thing All right All right, this one's good the UAE is planning to drag icebergs from Antarctica to provide drinking water for millions of their People this was a that was a that was on Brewsters millions. Did you see that movie? Yeah?

Not a new chunk candy and and Richard prior. Yeah, when great movie when Bruce when Brewsters trying. Did you see that movie? Yeah, not a new idea. John Candy and Richard Prior. Yeah, when great movie when Bruce when Brewsters trying to, you know, you're still young and beautiful to know this. Yeah, he has to spend millions to inherit billions. Yes, he spent 30 million to make three hundred million. Yeah, yeah, get it right. Wow. What does this have to do with icebergs? Well, because as Richard prior, but there's stipulations, like he can't blow it on himself, right? He can't just gambles? Well, because Richard prior, but there's stipulations, like he can't blow it on himself, right? He can't just gamble it.

He can't, he can blow it, like he can blow it on himself, but he can't just like wasted. It's got to be a transaction, and he's got to have assets, like his assets count. That's what he's accounted for. Yes, because he like buys a stamp,

and they're like, oh, this dumb mother fucker. 30 billion seemed harder to spend in the 80s than it does right now. Oh, yeah, it's probably because I like 100 million because like, well, yeah, no, 30 million, he couldn't, he couldn't buy a fucking G six with 30 million dollars. So I don't know. Shawnee should have had you instead of John Candy, advising him on how to blow money. Yeah. With your dad's bottomless pockets. Yeah. So he has to, Richard Pryor has to spend all this money. And he starts investing in the dumbest business ideas

that he can to try to blow through the money because he's allowed to invest it. And a guy comes in with the idea of putting an iceberg on floats and bringing it to the desert, doesn't he? The Sahara, like he's, that's his idea. That he's something he watched a movie he's, that's his idea. That is something you watched a movie and they came up with this plan. So Brewster's, so Brewster would have lost.

Then Brewster doesn't deserve his $300 million. Is the guy actually doing this? Not a guy. A country. Well, okay. Which country is it? I'll tell you, the woman's ever going to be present enough. But you know, that would be in the country. Yeah. Well, okay. Which country is it? I'll tell you, the woman's ever going to be present. But you were, you know, that would be no.

No, no. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But one iceberg can create enough water for one million people. It's pretty incredible. I think I should. It depends how big the iceberg is. Yeah, probably. It's even more incredible to tell me like the iceberg is like five feet. It doesn't say the size of the iceberg. It sounds like it's lazy don't invest in this. This is fake news probably.

Nobody's, this is a fake news article that you're having. It's supposed to happen next year. You should bring in one fake news article every time. Who's there making plans to fly in an iceberg? No, they're dragging it through the ocean. That's too slow. They should fly it. Right, wouldn't it melt?

It depends on a quick thing. Get there. Like a glacier, a glacier. Or a glacier. It's going to, but some of it is. We're like muck it up. The saltwater. It's something. Well, I'm muckin' it. It'll be alright. You give the women that are mucked up. You should, you should email them in case they didn't think of these things. Yeah. Like it'll melt. Oh, wow. Yeah. They've seen's in a calls from the dictionary. Yeah, I did. Hey, you guys, are you sure it's not gonna melt?

Dear US. I'm gonna check this. Are you guys doing some for a woman? I'm pretty sure that I'm sure somebody must have, no, turned out nobody fucking checked. Yep. Well, they didn't do the conversions one time, didn't they? And we lost a satellite into the moon or something like that.

NASA didn't convert from inches to, it's always something to metric, some millimeters. They lost a satellite. Right. Almost got them busted in office space because he put the decimal point in the wrong place. How is it fake too much? That was a fake movie, though, Sean. This is a thing that happened with science with what it was based on real events. Iceberg's take a long time

to melt because they're 80% of their masses underwater. Yeah. 80%. Well, yeah, there's, so is there a joke like for Asperger's, but with icebergs, icebergers, icebergers, it's too much, right? Because icebergers sounds like a dessert. Yeah. Iceburgers? It's too much, right? Because iceburgers sounds like a dessert. Yeah. Iceburgers. They're close. It's not funny, it's not fun. It's not fun.

Exactly. You know, you don't push it. It's no cadaver. Yeah, no, that has. Man, the adventures of cadaver. God, this is fun. I want to pitch that to adult swim. Yeah.

And Randy would help me pitch that to adult swim. All right, so you know how I like my animal news. Yes. And I figured you probably have some fans in Alaska, and this is super important. We do. We have listeners in Alaska. We got them all over. There is a 17 foot python that's been reported missing in a community north of Anchorage, Alaska. So there's a 17 foot Python right here in the

radio that's been reported found. You know what I'm talking about? Frozen to death. I don't know. I just don't think anyone should be able to own a 17 foot anything. So I can escape. You do. Yeah. You think that, but afterwards, you get a 17 foot python in a last. Right now, north of Anchorage, I don't know what the temperature is, it's probably dead. Super cold. Authorities are worried that the snakes going to be looking for warmth. What authorities are looking for a 17 foot python. No, climb up into a car motors if they've been warm. It's 17 feet. That's a tremors. That's a

Graboy that's losing Alaska. That's no longer a snake. I know Yeah, grabbing axles It's a good movie. That was a good movie. That's a good fucking movie. That's your animal news Hey, have you ever gone to that cat or a... I haven't made it to the cat cafe. I'm not going to do that. No, what are you gonna do that? Cat yoga or something like that?

Yeah. I mean, you have to put a down payment, a reservation. You have to pay for the reservation. Then you go in and then you have to pay for everything else. And I just think it's just so complicated. I just like to go see cats and you can't even pet the cats. That's the thing. They probably make you like what do you think you can't pet the cats?

You can't pet the cats. So how do they police that? They got the Delta Squad to come and take your teeth in if you try to touch one. The cats just kind of like free roam like. So you're just in an environment with a bunch of cats. Yeah. What the fuck kind of business model is? Oh, forget it.

Cafe. It's a cat cafe. What do you mean what kind of business model? Not everything's about money. Some things are just about being as gross as possible, like taking a bunch of cats and eating around them. Not what you mean. Thank you, Lacey.

Hey, did you know we had a show? A show. We need a lot. We need a liveacey. Hey, did you know we had a show? A show. We needed a lot of good live show. Did you know about that? And Philly? Yes. Yeah. Pretty cool.

Sean had like 30, 40 people around him. Talking to him about how cool he was. How did you deal with it? I talked to them. Talked to back. Yeah. I would get nervous. I would get nervous that many people were coming.

I'm ready. Sean came. No, he was fun. It was a lot of fun. Did you do any sightseeing? No, I saw like the two blocks between the the room and the theater. Yeah, I was like I got there I got a room six a.m. Slip for a few hours went down to the theater with these guys grabbed a Vietnamese sandwich went back took a shower Went back to the fucking theater, did the show, and then want, you know, then what do we do? Went to a bar afterwards. When all slept, got up, went home. I got a real good view of Phil Unto's thigh when I was taking a, I got a real good view of that, and I was taking a picture next to the guy that got the show logo tattooed on the back of his eye. Oh, I did see that in person. That was cool. Yeah.

I got, then I got a good view of the toilet in the Airbnb, the morning of the show, and then of the inside of the shower. Were you nervous? Was that the case? Absolutely shit-faced. The night before? Sure was wild. Well, because we, yeah, it was wild.

I thought I would just stop in at the meetup. A bunch of dickheads were there. Like, oh, this is in my mind. I think it's like a fucking chess club. Because I'm a liquor head and I convince myself that reality is gonna be nothing like what it is. And I know better, but I think in my mind, like I actually think the thoughts,

I'm just gonna walk in there, have a couple of nice, civil conversations, and then leave it an appropriate time. Like, this is what delusion is. Like, I think that this is a possible thing of happening, but if it was anybody else saying it, I would be, this moron is, this guy's just lying to himself. There's no way he's gonna do, he's just gonna get shit-faced because he does that every time

Sure enough Crawling around on the floor taking pictures next to guys tattoos Anyway, thank you. Thank you Thank you for I think I think Steven wants to call in. Oh, yeah, too. Yeah, if Steven had something you wanted to say about Dustin to follow up. Could diver. It is. All right. Steven's here. So I got, I got one last thing, one last thing before we wrap this up.

What's Bashar head? What time are we at? What time are we at? 940. 940. Okay. I got one last thing. So Dustin, do you remember, I got a billboard update number one. You remember the billboard that I was going to out, right out, a guy read Wolf on IRC,

the IRC chat, the Dixho, he discovered, because of Maddox's trademark, because he discovered where he lived. So I was, I said, all right, if that's public knowledge, then I'm gonna get a billboard right outside your house that has something funny on it, right? And I couldn't think of anything funny.

I, that billboard, I was stumped momentarily because that billboard that's right outside Maddox's house is currently being rented by the work boot warehouse, which if you're in LA, it's on sunset. Yeah. It's a giant shoe store, right? That, yes. Yeah. And, and those guys, the work boot warehouse, they get a billboard for life.

They're like a pit bull. Like the work boot warehouse adds, it's a yellow billboard with some chick wearing like a like a low cut like a wife beater and then a little rolled up flannel and some little shorts and boots, work boots, just making kind of a sl- They're not even that, like it's like, I mean, I don't know how to describe it, but this isn't a model, this isn't a model that you're like hanging up in the garage,

this is just like, all right, like, it's so confusing. The ad is so confusing, because they put these ads for the work boot warehouse everywhere, everywhere in Southern California. I think it's just Southern California and you'd think if you're spending millions of dollars in an ad you'd try to get the hottest fucking chick that you could and like next to nothing like us like people are going is this work but warehouse a strip club or a shoe store like Like, what am I looking at here? But they got, like, they just, it looks like, it looks like they got the owner's niece

and like, kind of made her sexy, but not too fucking sexy. Like, it looked like they were doing this shoot. The owner was there and he's gonna pop you if this turns out to be disrespectful to his niece in any way. But these ads are everywhere in Southern California and they never leave, they never leave. They're gonna be here, they're gonna survive the apocalypse. All of the work boot warehouse ads are everywhere in Southern California and they never leave. They never leave.

They're gonna be here. They're gonna survive the apocalypse. All of the work boot warehouse ads are gonna be, they own a spot forever. So the one that I wanted was owned by the goddamn work boot warehouse. So I said, fuck, I gotta find another one. So I'm looking, I think I found one. I think I found one in the drive throughthrough parking lot of the Starbucks. The same Starbucks that Sean, we would always go to to stock up before episodes recording the biggest problem,

which means it's in the fuck, it right in the drive-through, so you have to stare at it for 10, but for however long the dumb ass upfront is not able to take your order. You have long at this one as long as this one. It's only morons for some reason. There's a Starbucks in Hollywood and they just take all the top talent and dump the garbage humans into the drive through at this other star. Listen, talking about like technically, it looks like it's off a main street, but it's kind of on a side street. Who would go to a drive-through Starbucks in Hollywood? What do you mean?

It's right there, though. That sounds miserable. Well, yeah, but it's going up. It's going up. It's going up. It's going up. It's going up. It's going up.

It's going up. It's going up. It's going up. It's going up. It's going up. It's going up. It's going up. It's going up. It's going up. It's going up. You've got a park, go in. So you sit in your car for that long instead? Yeah. Let me see.

I mean, that was, you asked, that's the, Thomas, yes, in the car. Would you rather, I'd like to be out and about. Oh, I mean, I know. I'm seeing you, I'm looking at you. I see this, you don't need to tell us. I like to be surrounded and walls at all times.

Yeah, I want to have a car in my car so I could sit and wait in my camera. You get the joke. So, and I think I know what I'm gonna put on the billboard, which I'm not gonna say. Okay. But I got it. I got my eye on that billboard.

The second update, let me get Steven on here to see. I know he wanted, I know he had something to say about it. But Dustin, God bless Dustin, he finally pitched a bit. Oh, he did, yeah. All right. You surprised too. I don't know, I just, I was surprised too. I didn't think he'd ever tried it.

Yeah, I was surprised. It's the crazy thing, hey, Steven, are you there? Hey, what's going on, man? Hey, what's going on, man? So I don't know if I should read. I have Dustin's bit that he pitched to Reddit. We know that Dustin, the guy who would call into the show from the Facebook group, he's got a lot of hate on that.

I just gotta say, it seems like everybody has forgotten the aftermath of bonus episode eight. You know what I mean? There was a time when maybe unjustly, people were like pulling Patreon money from you because they hated Dustin so much. And now I go on Facebook and Reddit and I see people supporting him and saying,

wow, Dustin's so awesome. I can't believe he was so great, you guys. Look at this genius thing that he's doing. And I'm like, hello, are you the same people that we're gonna revoke your support of the greatest podcaster in the world? Short memories. Short memories.

Yeah, he loves short memories. But the thing is, I never forget a grudge, all right? I never let anything go. I am gonna hold your feet to the fire on this to keep you true to your words. What I do. Yeah, okay. Dick.

Anyway, you want to talk about the have a box of magic. That's how we settled things on this show now. Everybody just boxes. Yeah, so somebody actually recommended or proposed, they put my name and so vatius name in a hat to say, hey, this will be our representative from Reddit to fight Dustin, all right. And although I would agree to that if I wasn't invited,

if I was nominated as representative Reddit, because unlike Dustin, I'm not gonna fucking nominate myself and say, okay, I outright represent this community even though they never chose me. Do you think it was fair that I, the task I gave Dustin to pitch a bit to Reddit? I mean, do you think it was a good idea? Do you think it was a good idea? Yeah, I think it was a good idea.

I think it was fair in the sense that it was impossible. And so I knew that when you pitched it, okay, great. We'll never hear from Dustin again. And he even said, okay, well, this is my last time on the show. But that said, I know he's capable of doing this, but I think that's a false question because the question is, should he be doing it? Like should he be allowed on the show in the first place?

My person's opinion is no, but why not? I am not the first person to bring grievances against him. I did my homework on this. All right. I sat down all week since you invited me to come on. Yeah. And I collaborated with some of the top minds in the dickhead community to put together

a list of grievances against Dustin and build our case to why he's not a bad guy. I mean, you're proving my point of writing should be on the show. But yeah, go ahead. Yeah, just writing should be on the show, but yeah, go ahead. Yeah, you shouldn't be on the show. Yeah. So anyway, but I was, what I was going to say is rather than fighting because a stereo

is already doing that. And you know, Dustin and I, it would be like watching two autistic people from that guy's movie fight, you know, it wouldn't be that interesting. Okay. I want an intellectual match. Okay. I want an intellectual match. Okay. I want an intellectual match. So I want to debate him, right?

In, in a topic of your choosing, or since I'm a mod of the Reddit guns, we could just have a duel. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha know where he lives. Well, he was at the, he was at the Philly show. He lives close to, he lives close to Philly. What quadrant of, how many delta flash would it, you have to get kicked off of to get to there? I've told you in the past that I'm in the South, so that's not gonna work for me. Fuck, cause I was thinking you could have like a paintball gun duel

or like a laser gun duel that exists. That'd be a real duel. Well, look, I think I like that he's pitching bits to Reddit. Um, because there's a shitload of it. It's a great thing that we can deconstruct and say, uh, you know, hey, you know, no offense, man, but you're not that funny. So maybe you what if I mean what if he just happened to strike gold out of the park. I mean, I like could you be could everybody there be intellectually honest enough and the honest with the funny bond to go, you know what? That's fucking funny. They give him the best. I mean, all right, the best feedback I have ever seen from any like you I have been pitching and trying to do comedy

for ten plus years and I have never seen as organized and and constructive feedback as I saw from Dustin's first pitch on Reddit. So then what's I oh yeah. What what are we talking about? It sounds like this is a totally doable task. What if we're talking about hubris, man? We're talking about a man. He's capable of it, right? Like his bit he did during the Trump campaign, I loved it. We all loved it.

I mean, there's people that will shit on it because it's cool to shit on Dustin. But honestly, it was good stuff. And that's not really the point, right? Like the point was it pretty painful of doing this. It's, should he be on the show all right yeah and I just think that he's beyond redemption like he could cure cancer and I'd be like sorry dude you're a great doctor yeah but it makes a funny joke like that we're not talking about something boring like hearing cancer we're talking about

making a funny bit for the show if you cure cancer cancer, I guarantee no one laughs. Yeah, and that's not funny at all. It would have been funny, but yeah, Dustin, it could be cringey. Oh, that's the worst, man. That's the worst word that you can get hit. When I did the Gavin interview, I was just after it, I was on the thread F5, F5, like, please don't call me cringey, please don't call me

because there's nothing worse than that. Like, I'll take try hard. I'll take any of the other words, but if I get hit with a cringy, I'm gonna die inside. Please, please, please, please, please. Okay, that's fine. And the thing is, I mean, I've used that word to describe Dustin before I've used that word to describe myself.

I'm cringy as fuck, man, I'm an internet personality. I don't know if you know what that's like, but he legitimately doesn't understand. This is one of my listed grievances. I have a Maddox-style Wikipedia article of Dustin Grievance has written up. Let's hear it top three. Give me your top three.

Yeah, sure. So basically, my point is that the ultimate point to take away from this is that he does not serve a valuable purpose on the show. And what I will cite is. He's interesting. He's an interesting guy. He's first of all, he's extremely supportive.

He controls the face, like he did all the Facebook group shit. I love him for that. But he's very interesting. You have so many fans that you make more than $20,000 a month on Patreon. Like think of how many qualified people that you have that can do all the things that he does.

But like what? You see what I'm saying? Nobody can be. Nobody can be. Dustin, you can't pay somebody to be that interesting. I don't think he's interesting. That's kind of a strong word for him. I mean.

Okay, what's your gut? I'm sorry. Okay, interrupt to do. So, if you recall from the old show, and you know, certain someone still does this on their show, I hear the best way to present the questions is from you, you know, you reading the questions, or you playing the voicemail that something that started really organically on the biggest problem because back then you guys hardly got any. So you'd say you'd be really excited. Oh, I had voicemail.

I had to order you. I had to, that getting voicemail on the show and putting a voicemail number up on the biggest problem was such a fucking pain in the ass. A monumental pain in the fucking ass. Yeah, but go ahead. In that case, it's you, the host, who is presenting it. You with the personality and the charisma and everything, but if you just have a random fan doing it, it's not someone that was selected for their

on-air personality or their skills in being an interviewer or presenting. Now, it doesn't have shown that he can be a good interviewer in a comedic setting. He's great at it. He is, he's great at it. On the show. On the show, it doesn't work for people, okay?

Okay. And that's a lot of where the cringe factor comes in is that he tries to have banter with you guys and it just doesn't mesh, you know, it doesn't really work. Well, you know, we've known each other our whole lives. Sean and I basically, so that's tough, that's a tough sell. But I think what you're saying is, I'm not going to blame Dustin for it, but the bit has, the questions from Facebook stop, I would like it to evolve because I like the question. I love the Facebook involvement part of it.

My proposition would be he could continue to gather the questions on Facebook and then send them to you before the show or something or on the different person from Facebook should read them every time. You're still, it's a lottery of, or you're flying blind in that. Like, what if they're just horrible on air personality? They're not all gonna be like me, man. They're not all gonna be hilarious with great charisma

and just a joy to talk to wonderful, dynamic range. That's true. Maybe you should read them. I don't wanna assert myself because then I'm no better than the person that I'm criticizing. Oh, he wants an invite. I don't think he's about it. Yes, much like Maddox, you were talking about what disorder you think he has. I don't think he's autistic. I have raised this to you before.

I think he is a narcissism which which I am a narcissism diagnosis. Oh yeah, I can spot one from a mile away, buddy. You actually have a narcissism diagnosis? Well, yeah, it's called narcissistic personality disorder, NPD, and there's a list of criteria. And I mean, I don't want to claim to be any kind of expert or doctor or anything, but in my extremely unofficial opinion, yeah. And you're extremely unofficial opinion. What? And you are actually medically diagnosed with this and you accept that.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. What do you mean I accept? Yeah, yeah, sucks because the hard thing about it is a lot of therapists won't treat people to have it because it's so hard to treat them because they won't come to terms with it. And, you know, it took me going through a whole lot of shit like a you know Dibors and all that stuff but uh wait a minute I want to talk about this you're you're got medically diagnosed with diagnosed with NPD Narcissistic personality disorder like what and you think and because of your diagnosis and the things that you've seen Maddox do you think he has it too yeah yeah cuz I mean like for me it's it's even painful for me to read the Wikipedia article on it because I'm you know Your brain is so in denial about it because what is the narcissist the universe literally revolves around you Like everyone starts off that way and usually they grow out of it by like age 12 Narcissist don't you just stay in that forever and you know

It's the kind of thing that you see with anti-social people where you, the whole lacking empathy thing, like borders on almost evil territory because you truly cannot empathize with other people or their feelings or feel genuine remorse or anything like that. And I think that that's what I said.

What's an example? Would you come at someone real hard if they screwed with your world view at all? Like, if you're gonna say, would you come if you saw somebody like get by a car? No, like if you saw. Oh. Okay, like, don't, don't,

why do you start a sentence with, would you come? Would you come at someone real hard? In other words, if somebody, like a narcissist will anything that upsets that world view of theirs. Like this is how I see myself. This is how I hold myself. If there's a question you want it, you'll come with both barrels, right?

There's a phenomenon called narcissistic rage and narcissistic injury. When the person is forced to challenge their worldview, they react sometimes very violently or unpredictably. Yeah, it's no, they will double down on something. It doesn't have to be true. It can be completely proven false. Doesn't matter. They just flip out.

They're going to fucking close to it. This is a person that is incapable of acknowledging their shortcomings. And when it forced to, the results are completely disastrous. I mean, it's really horrible. Wow. Thank God I don't have any shortcomings. There's three, and if there's three disorders

that are kind of like the Venn diagram. How much stuff he knows? If you wanna see, if you wanna talk about this, I find this really interesting. I wanna talk about this. Yeah, he knows narcissistic personality disorder is one. I wanna talk about this with someone who has like a human,

for not a troll or a throat. There's narcissistic personality disorder. I'm right here, buddy. There's anti-social personality disorder. Okay. And there is a borderline personality disorder. And they all share certain points, bullet points. Yeah, the true, the personality disorder part.

Well, yeah. And that's like when you call somebody like a sociopath or psychopath, that's not a medical diagnosis. Yeah, but interesting thing about sociopath and psychopaths is I was researching this recently because I was trying to figure out if a certain person met it, I don't remember who it was, but they have to have, usually have to have one of these personality disorders and the difference between the sociopath social. So as you pat them, the psychopath seems to be whether or not they have violent tendencies. Well, and some people try to figure out if I was psychopath or a social,

so as you pat them, I'm like, well, I kind of do violent stuff, so no. Some experts say there's no difference, one's a newer word for the same thing. Others say that one is more likely to fly into a rage. One is more to be more cool, calm, and collected, like Ted Bundy, who's a classic psychopath. If it's the craziest thing you've ever done,

if Steven, would you say it? Like when one of these narcissistic rage moments, I mean, I've had a lot of like issues in relationships like yes, because abandonment plays into it much as it does with the other personality disorders that Shawn mentions. Yeah. It's the kind of thing where like, you know,

when you get broken up with, it's like you're kind of incapable of, or betrayed in some way. When your brain interprets a bit of it. Oh, really? Narcissist is always a victim. Oh! Narcissist, there is no blame a narcissist will ever accept

and no praise. They will never take 100% of. So you like make fake rape apologies videos if you felt betrayed by someone. Yeah, and that's the thing. You could dissect that thing as many times as you want to, which has been done. And it doesn't change the mindset of the person that made it interesting because because Waterboy has had extensive conversations with Maddox trying to talk him out of that.

So I need to see what the fuck he's talking about that video. Even it's very interesting because I started rolling my eyes as soon as he said, oh well, like I'm a narcissist. I don't think him because Dustin's interesting too, does. Yeah, no, you're interesting for different reasons, but this is why, and I've heard people say this, therapists say this, they say most most

therapists will not touch anyone with one of these three personality disorders because they're as close to unfixable as you can get because they're so rooted in the core from when you're formed from when you're a small child, um, yeah, that it's basically, it's basically unfixable. Oh, so what they're saying for therapy. No, ever. Yeah, right. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,

no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, I only have like a thousand lines of shit that I wrote, but sure I'll just speed right through it. We got sides right. The news babe had to talk about Delta airline. I'm just kidding.

So, I think, I want to be. Hey, what should chicks watch out for with signs that they might be dating an NPD? Yeah. What are some signs? I want people to date me, so I don't know if I should really say, but. I think I've dated of MPD before. What do you watch out? There's a scale for real.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, basically, somebody who tries to monopolize your time, this is not just an MPD, but any kind of a band-a-man person, somebody who, like, if they get upset that you're not talking to them enough, or if they seem to be really impatient with you,

you know, spending time with them like, oh, why can't you hang out with me that day? You're hanging out with them that day? Or, yeah, man, a real man would never say that. Why aren't you hanging out with me more? Take all the time you did. Oh, get at it. I got a little, I got a life size cut out of me

that I just post around the house and I sneak out the back door. So I know I'm not a narcissist. Take out the time, but take out the time. I think I'm the only one in the world. Sure, you don't have any more errands. Yeah. One of the issues that I raised with you is that

I think that Dustin is harmful to the Dixho brand. Okay. Basically, so you have the two biggest communities for the Dixho Facebook and Reddit. Reddit is run one way and Facebook is run another way. If you compare them, Reddit is, I'd say maybe like 90% of the time on topic to the DIC thing, which is how communities on Reddit

are meant to operate, right? Like in the guns subreddit that I moderate, we are 100% on task guns because we strictly enforce it. And if you go to science, it's even more strict, okay? But on the Facebook group, it's more of a community, but people go there and it's been described as a dumpster fire because it is- Who described it like that?

A dumpster fire. I'll do it right now. And it's a fucking shit show. It's controlled burn. I hang out in there, though. Yeah, I do, but the thing is, people join it and if they aren't familiar with that place and they just want a place to go to to discuss the show

where the lore in the meta, it's a problem. And the way that it's run, you've seen some of the things that have happened there. There's the whole Frank the Tank situation. There was the whole thing. Well, that surprised everyone. The guy just stepped in. No, no, I'll tell you what the problem with that bit was.

And this ties into the whole, this ties into the pitching Reddit bits and stuff like that. The problem with that bit, when Dustin, when I first started talking to Dustin, because he was gung ho on helping out and he has helped out a shitload. And I love his support, and I think he's a great guy. He initially wanted to be a producer in some capacity.

And I said, as I always say, yeah, go nuts, let's see it. I mean, this is all being pulled together. Like, I didn't go to podcasting school i have no fucking i got it's a bit this is the the show is now is a stereos coca-nose a man who's uh... was his famous for being on television in a b suit is going to fist fight you was the girl in the blind melon video

yeah a stereos who is the original girl in the blind melon is going to fist fight a moderator of the Donald. Like this is nobody knows what like you want to be a fucking producer? Let's see it. We set around writing that script all week. Yeah, yeah, right. We're like wrestling. We're like wrestling with no script.

This is what it's like. Guys screaming about doxing each other on Twitter. But my attitude was, yeah, let's see it. So that bit from a producer side was get people who could be life coached by coach with the wackiest problems. And here's where, here's where it fell apart, is in the voting.

Because when you put something up to a vote, you get BOTE-McBootface. That's what you get. Never put it up to a vote. Never. Voting is a gimmick to visit the website, absolutely. Voting is for real. Because it shows over and over again

that bad decisions are made by groups who vote. I mean, because it's funny. It's funny to make bad decisions. Yeah. Like, I would vote for, but as a producer, you got to step back. You know who the fourth place guy was in that contest of get your problem, get life coach from coach. The fourth place guy who didn't get to call into the show was a guy whose problem was that his dick was so big he could never get all the way inside of it. I heard that. That a producer should look at that and go, yeah, you're you're calling in.

Right. You're absolutely calling in to talk about your gigantic penis. Do not do not put your faith in the votes of the people and at least like you want calling Audible yeah, but what we had was you know what we everybody knows what we had everybody's listening to bonus episode a Everybody's gonna go ahead. Whoa. Whoa. What sorry. I was just gonna say it's kind of it's indicative of the way he runs the group You know, it's kind of a popularity contest between not celebrities of the show But celebrities of the group where he has, he's the, oh, he's the chief dickhead, and Chelsea's the official strap of the dick show.

And then they're... I think that's all in good fun. But when it crossed, when it became part, when the producer gloves were not put on, and when the, when the, when the, so the very next day after that episode, it went up on Patreon, and people are like, fuck, that when the, when the, so the very next day after that episode, it went up on Patreon and people are like, fuck, that's the, Dustin's on there saying, I swallow your tears.

I'm like, you can't, you can't go on Patreon and tell people who are paying to keep their show up that you swallow, that you swallow their fucking tears. Like, okay, wait a minute, wait a minute. I got to, hold on, I got a problem with that. And then the, also the very next day, I got a minute, wait a minute. I gotta hold on, I got a problem with that. And then also the very next day, I got a pitch, Dustin pitched me a podcast that with him in the stairs, I'm like, okay, wait, pause. You cannot, you cannot run the worst PR in the world

and also want, like you can't do it the next day, you can't be wanting to pitch a show like take a minute and try I'm not blaming anybody but you got a we're all pausing here for it's like we drop the piano the we dropped the wedding cake the wedding cake broke stop carrying the tray and look at what happened here like you're tracking wedding cake all over the house because you won't stop running around. Just pause for a second and look. So my thinking was in this bid,

look, you wanna be a producer? Produce me a sandwich. Produce me a fuckin' bed. Produce me a bid. And this will be good for everybody because you cannot be a bad guy. You cannot be a bad guy for just the sake of being a bad guy. You like, you know, that's not for, that's not good.

That's a personality. And it's easy to, it's. He doesn't understand, he doesn't understand why he's a bad guy though. I talked with him at length about this, which is actually why I'm on here in the first place, because he was like, you should bring all your grievances to Dick, you know, because I think he'd want to hear this. But he doesn't understand what he's done wrong

or why people don't like him, or you know, or just why they don't want him to be a part of the show. Like I've talked to him on other podcasts or just on Discord, and I think he's a great guy. Like he's wanted to talk to, he's nice. But you know, like if I outside looking in, it's probably the way people view me.

They don't want me on here either, cause you know, who the fuck am I? What am I contributing? It's the same kind of thing. There's a lot of, it's probably the way people view me. They don't want me on here either because who the fuck am I? What am I contributing? It's the same kind of thing. There's a lot of, it's very easy to see the negative parts of everything, but I think you're very interesting. I think Dustin's very interesting.

I think I wanna see, and I wanna see what happens. That's all, you know, he could, he could disappear. I'm just thankful he's around because I like watching him, like he's got a lot of energy. Yeah. I like seeing what he creates. With, um, okay.

I have, I have a quote from a, from a redditor that I interviewed about Dustin. This is, um, user SG Dove, who did the brilliant interview a bit today on, on Friday. Well, but he didn't film it. I'm sure he did some questions to. So SG this is SG, does SG, does from Reddit, this guy on Reddit, he says, I'm going to go do the interview bit man on the street better than Dustin. Give me some questions. So I wrote

three jokes and he goes and does it. And God bless him. It's great that he did it and reading the responses is funny, but he didn't videotape it. He was going to get arrested for wiretapping. Okay, Dustin would not videotape it. He would just get arrested. This is what I'm saying. This is the big, this is a very important part is that Dustin got the video made, that I got some content to play. Dustin will always come through.

Like I can forgive anything if I get the product. You know what I'm saying? How can you say he'll always come through when he failed to collect questions at the live show? That was the whole the microphone steady. He failed to not fucking interrupt a stereo. He failed at the new bill. That was all hilarious and funny.

Oh my god. But what I didn't even know was that he was running around like crazy trying to get the professional video shot. That's right. Okay, which I didn't even know was happening. You don't need him for that. Like you have so many people who are your fans in this industry who are qualified to do it or you could just fucking hire someone with the stacks and stacks of money you have in this industry, who are qualified to do it, or you could just fucking hire someone

with the stacks and stacks of money you have in the bunker, man. You don't need Dustin for it. Keep him around as a Dwight Shrewt, you know, but you don't need him to actually do important things for the show. I need that stacks of money, though. Keep him at the house level. So SG Dove told me, he me a nice like a nice quip.

He says the major problem with Dustin. Everything he does comes to an ass grinding Hulk that it ruins the flow of comedy. Like polio ruins the flow of a child's ability to walk. Oh, well, I think, I mean, I, he's, I think he should have the ability to defend himself, but he's got to get the bit approved. I can't not going to go back on my word. Yeah, totally.

I'll defend him. I'll defend him while he's not here, but he's, I think he, I think he can do it. If he takes the criticism, this promise, you know, if he actually does something that I think is a good idea, I'll be honest about it. You know, the bit he pitched, I didn't think it was good. I know he will. The top comment on the pitch thread had an idea that was like a thousand times better than his.

And I was like, dude, you're the new Dustin, congratulations. And now we see the genius of the bit is getting other bits. All right, Steven, I cannot be the bit. Steven, plug your Etsy store. Yeah, I love this pen. I can't stop fiddling around with it. 80s, girl. So where did you get that beautiful pen? And I said, I made it. Oh my God. I'll out. I'll out. I guess that's part of what you pay for with my with my businesses. You get to you get to claim my expert craftsmanship is your own. I always used to tell people just say your dick masters and go into the go into a bookstore and say that it's your book

that you wrote it. Like, that'd be pretty funny. Just do it. You have a mustache in the shades. Yeah. Yes. So I make, you know, like wood and that kind of thing, like crafted stuff.

My shop is called Dogwood Handcrafts because I'm from the South where there's dogwood trees and I like dogs and I like wood. And so I do fancy and I like wood. So I do fancy pens, like they want to make for dick. I do like fancy model stoppers. I'm actually an official craftsman for the US military academy where my brothers were just full. What is that mean? So I basically what it means is rather than I'm like licensed to put out means is rather than, I'm like licensed to put out stuff that is branded with the US Army or the US military academy. Oh cool.

So I make stuff for the parents and the families and everything of soldiers. All right. And very cool. And then I do a lot of shaving related stuff because I'm a blacksmith and I make, I formerly made razor, straight razors for shaving and now I'm focusing on my brushes and then the other thing I'm focusing on, I didn't tell you about this, but I thought you might get a kick out of it.

I've been making handmade dildos and butt plugs, like sex toys and then my roommate, it was my roommate. I knew this was gonna take a fucking twist. I was see Lazy's reaction. You know, there's fucking, there's 20 furries in the house. I was the first thing that popped in my head, he was like, he's going to say a different thing.

Lazy's, I don't want to see. I mean, the slip and slide. My roommate, who is my co-host on our podcast, I don't know if I'm allowed to plug that too. Go nuts. We started off as a way to get David Clegg, a girlfriend. And obviously it didn't work.

And so now we're just trying to help random neck beards partly from the Dictoe community. Well, you're making wooden dildos? Not wooden. No, these are acrylics that I cast. Like I mixed the plastic, I put in the dyes and all the different colorants, and then I cast it in a mold,

and then I shape it and everything Okay, I really actually use them in herself and sell them to horny guys on the internet and then we split the money used selling used dildos She sells her underpants and then she'll include like a sex toy with them. What are the what are the guys do with the used dildo? They like to like taste it. Oh Wow How many of these does she sell? I didn't know that this existed. No idea.

I mean, that's a great business opportunity. It's better than dragging icebergs around the world. Easier. I'd say between the two of us, between the two of us, we're pulling at least 500 a week. And we both have real jobs, so this is just fun. Oh my God! Sean, please.

I don't wish. Does she still picture off with the dildo? Yeah, yeah, she'll send you a picture in a video for using it if you pay extra, and then like, they're closed. She needs more money for this. What? She needs more money, 500 bucks a week.

Oh, then don't fucking use me in eyes, and then nobody able to afford both of us. Yeah. Yeah, so we're trying to do. If you want to check out my very nicely made dick, dick is a big fan of my stuff. So hopefully other people I get to, well, I was a fan of the first stuff.

I don't want, yeah, I'm a big fan of you. You endorse me, so you can't take that back. I can't take it back, you're right. I'm not going to disavow it. Yeah, I can't disavow. So it's Etsy.com slash shop slash dogwood handcrafts. And I'm also on Facebook under the same name. And I do custom orders.

So if you don't see something that you like, tell me the colors and materials and all that. And I obviously don't list the sex stuff on there because I have like stuff for families. But we're going to get this egg stuff? You asked for me. Yeah, it's like, you can't tell me privately. Okay, contact you privately.

Yeah, so actually, yeah, a few days ago, we had a guy who didn't actually want my roommate to use the thing and he was going to pay the same amount. He requested a bright pink glittery butt plug that he wanted to be two and a quarter inches in diameter, which is like, is that big for a butt plug? They're small. I mean, just hold out your fingers, the size of a coat can.

I got a coat can in front of me. Yeah, imagine that going up your butt like bluntly. Oh wow. Oh, and it's, you know, so that was, you know, that was a lot of fun. I live streamed it on my YouTube. I live streamed my shop. And so I'll be making the pens or the brushes,

and then all of a sudden I'll switch to doing a dildo and all the people watching are like, wait, what the hell? All right, I think I'll watch your videos. I can't take more of this. I get, you got to call back because I've gun questions for you though. I can't take more time.

I can't risk where this conversation's going. Man, totally understandable, but you know, you did ask. I did, I know. Thank you for calling in. Having me, I appreciate it. I hope you feel better, Sean. Maybe, you know, try a cop drop. That'd be sound better. I feel a lot worse. Maybe a sparkly butt plug will straighten you up. I feel fine. I feel fine. Maybe that's why he has a sore throat in the first place. And I still don't have a suck suck on. You have hung up yet. Did that out of here?

All right. Oh, I think that's all we got today. Yeah, I think I had more stuff, but it's just too much. Too much. How do you top that? You can't top Steven. He comes on and steals the show at the time. It's interesting.

It's just to touch on the narcissist thing. Like, I mean, since I'm not a psychologist and I don't sit down with him, I can't diagnose him or not, but it's interesting. Like, the stuff he's saying about coming to terms with it is like no narcissist you'll ever meet. Like, and it's a spectrum and that's the thing. Well, but how long has he been at it, though?

Well, you're formed when you're young. That's the core of who you thing. Well, but how long has he been at it, though? Well, you're formed when you're young. That's the core of who you are. No, but how long has he struggled? I don't know. I don't know how old he is. And it's also, it is a spectrum. I think in the UK, there's a 40 point scale, one of the scales that they use.

And if you're like 25 or higher, you can diagnose with it in the US. It's 30 or higher. So not everybody. How the fuck do you know those specific things about this scale? How do you know so many things? I love to read, man.

I love to look at shit. I love to learn. I love to read too. Erotica. Well, okay. Well, I'm probably reading the wrong things. What do you read? What are you reading?

Dude, I go down like the, I go down the Wikipedia rabbit hole all the time and link to link to link and then like go like, OK, well, what's this thing that they're referencing here in the, you know, in the bibliography or whatnot? I don't know. I just, it's it's just, but you know what? I like to see videos as shit blowing up too. So, okay. But yeah, it's, it's interesting. Lacey, you got a boyfriend. Just curious. No, okay. But yeah, it's, it's, it's interesting. Lacey, you got a boyfriend.

Just curious. No, single. What kind of, what kind of guys do you date? Get on that Michael. No, I have dated narcissists. Oh, really? But you know, like, that's how to cut them off real quick. Really? Yeah. It was like, Oh, that guy's a genius. It's like, no, genius means something's working here. I know what you're doing. All right, everybody, this, I'm gonna play this exit song. Oh, wait. Oh, man, I had a crank call. I'm gonna play it next week. I got a guy doing crank calls now, dude.

You do? Yeah, I'll play it for the 50th episode next week. Astarios is gonna be here. Oh, man. This song is by Fingers music. And you can find his stuff at fingers.bandcamp.com. But it's spelled with a F1, NG3, RS. What are you laughing at? How do you how the fuck these pelacy? Fingers at band camp. Yeah, fingers at band camp. I don't think her's dot band camp that. Wow, straight from the sky into the studio. I've been here for about 10 minutes into the studio off the plane into the studio off the plane.

Yeah, into the studio bragging about how I get places. Off the plane. No fuck ups. No fuck ups. Plains, trains and automobiles. I am here to deliver hot, hot content, hot, rage-infused comedy content. Straight to you. Straight from a plane.

Plain lands. I run off the plane, run into a shuttle, into the shuttle, into a car. Various modes of transportation. Immediately sit down, have absolutely no fuck-ups. With any of the equipment to record this podcast for you today. Again, no fuck-ups. Oh, no reason for it. Land land land into the studio off the plane into the studio off the plane Oh, you want to hear something funny? Let us John what have I said no?

You did last time I'm not gonna wait for it. Let us Jones has been sending voicemails every week and nobody has been sending them to me. Oh no, yeah. Oh, is it building up? Yeah, now I got 12, I mean is he building up? Is it like, I don't know why you're not fucking. I just got him, Sean. I haven't listed to them yet.

I just got a few, this is't listed to them yet. I just got a huge This is the latest chance who's in jail our friend who's in jail has been sending Like go-betweens his has been calling them from jail and they're supposed to be sending me the voicemails Who's they what's the hold up what I'm not gonna look? I'm not gonna say oh who because I don't want them to get let us Let us just jump in prison from beating the hell out of someone. I don't wanna get them in any trouble. None of them. I didn't realize that it was like a specific person

who should have been just one. That's the fuck up. All right. Dustin's very sorry. Not Dustin's not Dustin. Do you think we were hard on him? No. What? Yeah, this episode, do you think that was hard in any way?

I think you were defending him. I think you defended it more than I think Dustin serves a valuable. He's shown more initiative than I ever have for anything in my life. Yeah, me too. There's a lot to be said about that. Yeah. A lot. We could learn a lot from him.

Yeah. Yeah. All right. See could learn a lot from him. Yeah. Yeah. All right. See you next Tuesday. Dick that show patreon.com slash the dick show.