The Dick Show - Episode 490 Dick On Christmas Crash Outs

Episode Date: January 11, 2026

Vivek's annual Christmas crash-out, Poop Dad is a hit, celebrity boxers getting beat down, Rob Reiner gets killed by REEFER MADNESS, Epstein nostalgia, Congolese monkey meat, fighting misogyny in the UK, women cops vs. a terrorist attack, nerdy women, and a fat woman falls over at Lego Land; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!

That Cholo never came back to collect his money from my wife. The nitrous must have caught the rest of his brain. Yeah. He decided not to follow up on that. Here we go. Is it working now? Can you hear it? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, cool.

You never should, we've been waiting for him all week. Where is this knucklehead? We're just tracking down. And beat his ass. Like, dude, we're wasting our time. We're waiting around for you to come and collect. now you've wasted our time. I got this money burning a hole in my pocket.

What am I supposed to do with this? Throw it in his face like my cousin Vinny, you know, jump at him. Now I want him to show up. At first I don't want to deal with it, but now I'm like, I got all this blue-balled. Yeah, you've thought about it and mentally prepared. Like, oh, what all the shit you're going to say to him? I've seen too many shitbags get their ass kicked on TV. It's like it looked like fun to me.

It's like, man, it looks like fun being an old shit bag getting your ass kicked. Old has-been shit bag getting your ass kicked. I want some of that. Man. What's Jake Paul doing? Crawling around on the floor. Did you see that fight? Did you see that fucking fight?

What was that? Crawling around, Jake Paul's crawling around on the ground, hugging that guy's legs. Oh, my God. You know, back in my day, boxing was just like something you did, and you didn't want to lose, and then two people did it,

and then somebody lost, and that sucked for them, and then the winner was like lauded. But now, with the Andrew Tate embarrassing, getting his ass kicked, Jake Paul embarrassing, getting his ass, it seems like the new masculinity is to have tried really hard and then go online and cope about it, like men remaining men cry into Bob's bitch tits

about how remarkable it is that you showed up. Bro, you fucking, you lost and you look like a jackass. Jake Paul got his jaw broken. That screenshot And it wasn't even as satisfying I thought that whole fight I'm like I just want him to get killed I just want this guy

This is the biggest black guy they could possibly find right And he's just controlling the whole thing He's obviously pulling punches like Tyson was doing But But he broke his jaw In a really ugly Just ugly hit on that bum-ass

looking Jake Paul teeth's all crooked now gone and it wasn't satisfying to me no I wanted to see like Kimbo Slice versus Jake Paul yeah that would have been cool like 2006 era Kimbo Slice

just in someone's backyard I need him to get killed that's what I need in the in the ring the Tyson thing pissed me off Tyson being trotted around his butt His butt being out, you know? Yeah, I want to see...

Pulling punches. Just someone lose it. Someone needs to, like, just not be there anymore mentally. Dead! Yeah! I want to see him crippled, killed. Brain dead. Afterwards, no broken jaw, no...

That tongue shit. The funny... I mean, him sticking his tongue out is probably what broke his jaw, right? Because you got to keep your mouth close. You're not supposed to be going like this. Ah! The whole fight. You get your fucking skull cracked open.

Man. Oh god I didn't even know Andrew Tate was was fighting I don't know why Rumble dragged him out I guess I don't know I don't know why I guess it's the sea it's the season it's the season for men to crash out we've got another spectacular

Vivit Christmas crash out Andrew Tate's getting mollywapped by and then after the fight Andrew Tate and the guy who just raped him on television having a hug and an embrace and the guy they start crying and the guy says he was going to kill himself until he started listening to Andrew Tate. I said, this is, guys, where's the fight? You know, this is supposed to, this is supposed

to butcher everybody up here. This isn't the time to shit. This isn't a confessional, you fruits. Could you imagine not being afraid of Mike Tyson? Like that when he was like a, like, in his prime? Yeah. No, no. Like, because that was like fighting was just his way of life. He would just beat anyone's ass and didn't give a fuck. He would kill you. Yeah. And then he would say he was going to kill you beforehand and people were terrified of them. They didn't get, they didn't come out the next day.

You're like, well, you know, at least I tried. That's the motto. That's what, that's what Jen's, that's what Zumer men are turning to. At least I tried. Yeah. My generation had losers always whine about doing their best. Winners go home and fuck the prime queen. That was, we told each other that every day.

Losers always whine about Losers always whine about, you know And everyone had a Sean Connery impression That was our It didn't work I mean we didn't We didn't win We lost

We lost everything Yeah my generation I'm just old enough to have experienced If you don't hold that fucking flashlight Still I'm going to stab you to death With this screwdriver This is just It's shameful

It's pitiful It's embarrassing It was like Andrew Tate had that queued up The second I lose, tweet that thing about Teddy Roosevelt saying I was in the arena. Like, you're a, this is like an exhibition boxing match against the guy you picked because he's obviously retarded. I mean, just look at him. I saw clips of this guy going, just boxing the air while he's in the ring.

I am samming it up. Now I want to see retard boxing. Like get two of the most. You saw it. No, I want to get two of the most like. insanely loked out motherfuckers and just watched him turn each other into a pink mist. The retard on champ

boxing is not as good as I thought it would be. I should specify, I want retard strength boxing. Yeah. God, that would be crazy. That fucking black guy fighting Jake, it was like watching Super Punch Out.

His arms were going all the way across the ring. Like, dulcim. They got the 3D effect in the crowd. or the 4D effect, like, honey, I shrunk the audience. He said, oh my God. We used to have boxing with no menopause. Oh, you lost? That sucks. Well, yeah, but it's really impressive that I was even...

Oh, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, you lost. No, it wasn't... It's not, I mean, it's not impressive that you were doing something you lost at. You're a loser. Yeah. You're a fucking loser. There's too much money in it now. That's why the winning...

feels good because you were so close to being a fucking loser. You chose, you, you picked this fight thinking you would, you would win. And still lost. And you lost. You had all the power here. Andrew Tate, you had all the power here. You could have picked any bum, any poluka, which means a boxer that's used to losing fights, is used to lose fights. Any polucah you could have, you picked someone who's suicidal.

Maybe that suicidal rage is what Should have just let him beat his own ass Got in his head a little bit That's why it's so satisfying when Rob Reiner got killed Because I couldn't get that I want that watching the Jake I'm like man I really I don't break his jaw I don't I need him to I need you to kill him

Well that's what I mean there's too much money on the line Because it's like oh what's another however many million But if it's like yeah if you don't get in there And rip this guy's throw it out you're not going home with like 30 grand. Yeah, we hate you now. We have to, it's got to be much deadlier stakes

and much lower payouts. You got to keep these guys vicious, man. Crawling around on the ground, hugging his legs, I've never seen that. I've never seen that behavior. He sent him back to factory settings with that one.

I was getting old school hate mail this week. In the mailbox? No, like old school proton mail. Let me find. a good one. Oh shit. Old school proton male. I want to kill you, you know. Old school like men are better than women hate male. Damn. It's been a long time since I've got real, real heat, you know, real hate mail heat. A good piece of mail, yeah. Wow. Like I can feel it. Oh man, I could feel how pissed you were. It's like finding an old tube of Christmas paper from like the 90s. And you're like, whoa, this still is around. This feels this is the good stuff, man. Glitter in it. It's fucking. Finding an old $2 bill. Ooh.

Got layers and shit. Damn. It was the Rob Reiner's stuff. I'm mad about that? People are pissed. Of all things. Of all things. It's just like, I mean...

Are they not more pissed about Conan O'Brien? Who killed him? Who killed him? Who killed Rob Reiner? Yeah. That happened so long ago. It feels like another lifetime. I need two shows to cover all this stuff.

It's so funny. Here's the... It's hard to imagine that you It's hard to imagine you that you weren't aborted Your black cum-loving gaping hole Cunt of a mother committed a crime You see? See how mad he is? God, damn

He made a proton mail just for this. This is like, this is what I live for, man. I was like fucking Mumrah in my tomb Barely hanging in there, you know? Beaten down by my son and my ears, my ailments. Did this guy send a screenshot of his youth? use that post? And this guy fucking charged me up like Mumrah.

I'm like, ah! Ah! Twitching, you know, Christmas is fucking killing me, man. All right? My wife, we got a fake tree, right? And my wife got a pack

of these Christmas sticks to give the tree a Christmas smell of a real tree. I don't know who it's fooling, I guess. The dog, maybe? I don't know. I think the dog knows it's a fake tree. I think she thought that it was like one pack per Christmas or something

and I'm here to tell you that it's not. It's maybe I don't know why they sell them in multiple Christmas packs. I was wondering what that is when I walked in. You're wondering what that stench of Christmas is? It smells like you've been growing Christmas trees in your house for five generations. I said let's bring the milk back.

I don't know. This is too much Christmas, honey. It's too much Christmas. I was looking for like a like a Christmas candle display for like a sale like 25% off maybe it was like I like to fire up the chainsaw and cut down about 20 Douglas firs every day and then store it under the kitchen island leave them in the middle of your living room you know what else I got that makes me a rage uh I got I'm so I'm so many gummy vitamins now that I'm eating like a bag of Halloween candy every morning because I got all these I got all these ailments you know, age being one of them, alcoholism being another one, just hypercuses, tinnitus,

uh, no sleep. I don't even, I don't know, Keon gave me these, gave me this medicine, this med suggestion for, or this vitamin suggestion for sleep.

Real vitamins I'm talking about. This isn't code. And I'm like, oh, I'll get some of those. I'm gonna get gummies because they're like easier to take. Because you get the regular pills

and you just forget to take them around. I'm talking about old men. medicine now. So I'm like, I'm going to get some gummies. And my wife's like, what's this? And it's an Amazon thing that arrived with all my gummies. But I didn't think before that there's like 10 gummies. So every morning now I'm chewing through like a brick of a brick of I'm eating a gummy bear like the size of my fist for I don't know how many grams of magnesium or chlorine. You're going to walk all the way down the hill and back up just to burn off all those fucking No! Now I'm fucking...

I'm fucking clowning on women for eating a frappuccino, but I'm having a 600 calorie vitamin breakfast, but they're also expensive, so I can't just trash them. So I'm like, okay, why can't you just give me vitamins that I can rail? Like, give me vitamins that I can chop up. Believe me, I could do that. I would love for the old time's sake, give me some fucking vitamins that I could chop up with a credit card,

put in a big fat line and go, every morning. I had a bunch of goddamn gummy bears that stick together. You know, that's, that's, I think you found something because they're trying to get everyone to get their vitamins in with gummies, right?

They're trying to make it enticing. Like, oh, well, no one's going to skip eating a gummy. But now I got a hundred gummies that I got to eat every day. But that's the thing is, if they're trying that hard to get adults to be, like, have the correct amount of vitamins in them, why don't they just make them snortable? And then we'll have the healthiest fucking,

LA will be healthier than you could ever imagine. Give me some Zepbound that I can rail. I can rail a line of Zepbound in the morning so I can get rid of these cravings. Everybody slide that one in. I'm like, I got a really bad hearing issues. My sister's like, why don't you try Zepbound?

I'm like, oh, yeah. What else is it? Yeah? What else is that good for? What are you trying to say? It's Christmas time, you know? Don't Vivek. Don't make me Vivik out on you.

Don't make me have a Vivik crash out on you. I'll sound like this Alright I'm gonna play the theme song I gotta hear it Stop telling me to not wear cans They're off Hey

Welcome to Dick You want Dick, you love Dick, you need to you get it This showroom is a contest coming live from Mountain Bunker Deep in the Heart of City of Failure I'm you host Dick Mashers and AK The $20 million man joining me as always Johnny the audio engineer You're doing, do you want to talk about your special show that you're doing coming up or is that Is that secret

We can keep it a secret It's a secret thing Okay, all right But if people happen to be All you L.A. dickheads This upcoming Saturday At the corner of Western and Elmwood Okay

About 9 p.m. Streets In the streets In the streets Maybe be there, maybe not Who knows? Maybe something's gonna happen Maybe something's gonna happen

Maybe something's gonna happen. Maybe something's gonna happen Maybe something special will happen So you did smell them Christmas time in the air Well if my eyes are a little red The eyes are watering Yeah

I got punched in the fucking face by What was that guy's name? Johnson Jimmy Johnson The big black guy Boxer Jimmy Johns Jimmy Johns

Is that his name That was Jimmy John Johnson Then he's British Then he talked And he's British And I was like I hate that

So they think they're so cool You know Like that guy in Spider-Man Oh, he's Potterman. Yeah, I'm a British punk, black guy. Okay, all right, whatever, man. Get the fuck out of here. Sick of this.

It's too cool for me. Yeah, like, what am I supposed to do now? Am I supposed to bring to the party here, pal? I sound like shit. I'm just going to go home now. I sound like wha-ha, you know? I got to find those sticks. I got to find all those Christmas sticks and get rid of them.

Yeah. It's crazy because it's like finding a needle. a haystack up there. And it's all sharp. The fake tree's all sharp, so I got to reach in there. It's just bare like rebar in there. God damn it.

I'm fucked for Christmas. Have you started your Christmas shopping? Of course not. Oh, man. You think I'm not starting until Christmas Eve getting delivered same day. And we're all opening the packages for the first time. I'm going to get coupons.

For one Christmas present, I'm going to start just writing coupons. This is good for one Christmas present at any time. Any time during the year for a $50 value. That's the most important part. It goes up 2% every year, so you want to hold on to that. Don't spend it. Don't feel like you need to spend it because of inflation.

Yeah, 2%. That's pretty gracious. Quality of Life increase on that Christmas coupon that I'm giving you. It stays 50. Check out Weight Watchers. Go pick that up at patreon.com slash the Dick Show. Buy yourself something for Christmas. We'll pick it up if you can.

Yeah, pick it up, you know? Get something for yourself. Don't just get something for everybody else. What are they going to do for you? Well, it's a heavy episode, you know. It's a good one. Scar had a baby. You know that guy, Scar?

He's been to a bunch of shows. He hangs out on Discord. He's a cool guy. He had a baby. Jesus. And he sent me a picture. Don't do this. I don't like this sort of thing.

I'm not saying this so people send me their babies. I don't want to see them. but he sent it to me this morning and I was like all right I'll curiosity got the best of me like all right I'll look it You're like how ugly could it be

I look at it It fucking looks exactly like him And you know what Scarlux like I do He's very distinctive look you know It's like I've never seen a I didn't know a baby could look like exactly like

The dad like that Oh yeah It's like if Ed Ed and Eddie had like a baby Or like Johnny Bravo Would be like you know what it would look like in the cartoon. Have you seen a Julia Louis Dreyfus' son? No. Copy and paste fucking face.

Of her? Of her. Seinfeld? Yeah. Oh. It's crazy. Yeah, that is crazy. And then he said The baby exhausted him so much that he had to go back to the hospital myself because he gave me a seizure. So,

so. said, I said zero out of ten, Scar. You're telling me on day one, you had to go to the hospital? Good luck. Good luck, Mom. I got to, honey, I haven't tried that one. I'm going to try that one. Will you watch the... Oh, I got to get out of here. I'm having a seizure. Scar?

The fuck are you talking about? I had to go to the hospital myself. Oh, you see, I had to go myself. I got to get some cigarettes at the hospital. He says, are you religious dick? Because I really want to pray on my son something safe. Total gibberish. I'm not, but maybe people in the audience are, and they can give you a nice prayer. Just pray that your son doesn't stab you in the neck during Christmas time.

Never has tried. Trump come through for me before with the fuck Rob Reiner. Fuck you. Christmas stabbing. You know, God damn well, if any, at any moment Trump dies, everyone is going to do the same shit to him. They're going to make it a national holiday when Trump dies. And I'll be there celebrating it like Diad de los Mortos.

Of course. It's going to be fun as shit. You get the O'Frenda going and everything. Oh my God, that was so funny. Oh, yeah, I was reading that hate mail. that's what got me to this, is that people have a mental illness about celebrities dying.

Yeah. They really are. They really are. It's like a bumper, like a human bumper sticker, indicative of just a deep, deep mental illness that they have. It's,

it really is insane, man, because it's like, you know, people get so attached to like, oh, well, if I just, if I follow this person and like everything they do, or even some things, that means in some way, like, I owe them something.

And it's like, there's people. Like, why are you so upset? Like, people don't treat their own family dying like that. Right. My dad died. Yeah, it sucks. It's sad. To pull the super retarded argument.

My dad didn't die. That was me imitating somebody else. Right. Yeah, go ahead. There's people all over the world dying every fucking second. Yeah. Like, all the time. And you're not, like, a bleeding heart about them.

It's like, it's only because this guy made, like, a movie you like that. I mean, Spital Tap 2 probably sucks. Have you seen it? No. No. No, I haven't seen it. it either. Probably shitty. Should have killed him before he did spinal attack too.

Save us all the trouble. There you go, yeah. It's just so funny. People don't remember this maybe they weren't alive. Rob Reiner's like super ultra-progressive. He did this thing in California. Like he would just spend all day pushing for, you know, policies, like pushing for shit to get

across the line like it was his job. He's fucking nightmare. He passed this thing for kids. for like the first five years of kids, for obviously for, you know who. And they funded it, they funded it back in like the late 90s. They funded it by putting a 50 cent tax on cigarettes. So cigarettes went from like a dollar 50 or something to like two bucks a pack. You can't be fucking with people smokes, man.

What are you doing, man? What the fuck are you doing? How is, how is this about kids? It seems like this is about smoking. Like if it seems like you're just kind of fucking with people and by the way How's your kid doing? Yeah if he cares about kids so much why didn't he take care of his own? Yeah, what's going on? All of it's so fucking funny the The criminal justice reformer the pro progressive everything you know pro drugs pro everybody just relax lay off Taking his meth out schizophrenic cracked out son to a Hollywood a list work party like

What a fucking asshole. If you bring a schizo to my holiday party, I'm going to be pissed. Conan O'Brien, the same cock sucker who does like progressive PR. Like, I don't see what people's problem is with Haiti. I've been here as beautiful. I don't see what people's problem is with, you know, immigrants. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Stops people from calling the cops on a schizo meth head.

That might be the funniest thing he's done. And the kid's only sin is going around the party fucking with famous people, like Frank Hasel. Like, are you famous? That's funny, too. What's your last name? And you're famous? Tell me again, are you famous? Did you read any of the, I don't know why I got stuck in reading all this shit?

No, I didn't read into it much. I just kind of like saw all the spectacle of it and was like, yeah, another day in Hollywood. Are you famous? That's the funniest thing. Well, and the funny thing, too, is like all the cool people would just laugh at that. Yeah. Like all like the just you know Yeah, all your regular ass people would just think that probably was the funniest shit

Like who the fuck is this kid like like who cares? You watch him do these interviews and like oh wow how that fucking psycho You need to get rid of that guy Yeah, uh that's not gonna work no no you dead oh well People were very upset about that they'll probably be upset about this I don't know oh yeah here was the rest that guy's even your black cum-loving gaping whole cunt of the mother committed a crime against humanity when she had you. This is because Rob Reiner. The cards against humanity even.

Attend the next Jim Jones style event. You degenerate clown. Is that like Kool-Aid mass suicide? Bring the whole family. Drink the Kool-Aid.

And then he, this is my favorite part. He linked me to my tweet about Rob Reiner. In case he's forgotten what you said. In case I wondered in case I needed a citation for the, in case I needed to know which one,

because I had a bunch of them. Yeah, you gotta start printing these kind of emails out. We just need to start sticking them up on the wall. That's great. It's hard to imagine that you weren't aborted. Really? You can't use your imagination? God damn.

It's the era of, we tried. Dan Boingo quit the FBI and the overall overwhelming consensus is you know what it's so bad that he couldn't even change anything after nine months while he's crying about his wife on TV

what an asshole what a fucking asshole can't wait to have you back brother on the podcasting circuit brother where you belong brother where nobody belongs frankly yeah uh okay let me get to this I am your child foundation That's what Rob Reiner co-founded.

To build, with his wife, to build alternatives for racial equity and child well-being. Oh, well, I guess a white guy didn't really like that. I mean, yeah. I am your child foundation. It's like, racial equity. I know it's stupid too, but like Hollywood's never been. like this is a place where we are supposed to look up to people. Like Hollywood was so fucked that they had to change the image around in the like the early

20s because they were like all the pre- These are so bad. Yeah, all the pre-code films like, you know, was just like yeah, there's like sex, drugs, like everything and because they were just like whatever. It's a new fucking format. Yeah. But then they were like, uh, in order to sell more, we have to clean up our image. We've got to clean up our image here.

Even then it's like people have- Now they're like aggressively clean. Yeah, but it was, it's always been. degenerate, like everyone involved is just like a huge piece of shit. Yeah. It's like, or at least anyone who makes any money at it. Yeah.

Like that's, that's the way it's always ever been. So for like, for this, like, one event to happen like this is like, oh, that's it. I just find it amusing. Slow year in Hollywood, you know? Yeah. Like in the grand scheme of it. But yeah, it is amusing.

You know, it's very, you could write a script about that even. The Halloween, the holiday party, Conan's holiday party, which is, themed to close out a bad year. Some like some quirk chungis ostensibly like anti-Trump like a party of like kvetching and conspiring

and like condescension toward the working man is ruined by one of the party goers murderous meth head children that they drove insane by trying to control their addiction. Like that is the, it's just, it's such wonderful, beautiful irony that I, you almost never, you almost never get to witness a piece like this. So it's just fantastic when one happens and you get to savor it. It makes you think that Conan was in on it the whole time.

He's like, well, we'll close out a really bad year. Yeah, yeah. Get this asshole smoked and then fucking, you know. And you changed all his meds, right? You send him to psychiatrists because that's, that's the best thing you can do. He's like, hang on, don't call 911. I need to capitalize on something next year. Don't call 911.

That could really harsh the buzz of our, you know, we're anti-cop here. I don't know if you, there's some black people here. You better not call the cops. Look, he's just having a bad day. He should have killed Conan, too. The funniest would have been if he killed everyone there, but I mean, that's. And everybody's crying about it because they're all dying, All these fucking losers are dying for a chance

to show how magnanimous in death they are after Charlie Kirk got killed and all the left went nuts for it, right? So they're just dying for the chance to show what big people they are, embarrassing each other, you know, weeping at this, weeping at this obvious art installation

that God has put right in front of our laps and then Trump comes through like a fucking bulldover. Fuck Rob Ryan, I think thank fucking, thank fucking God. Thank fucking God. for you. Well, it's stupid, too, because with all these reactionaries, you get them to where, like, even if they start small, right? You can't have that same reaction to a similar tragedy, or otherwise you don't care as much to the public eye. So you always have to, like, ramp it the fuck up every time. And soon it's like, oh, this guy got a ticket for jaywalking, and it's going to be

like being at the fucking wailing wall or some shit. Like, to what extent do people have to fucking posture? It's so sick. I found my pictures that I took at the whaling wall. Oh, you did? Yeah, you know what? And I regret him. I was there with my man many years ago. Right.

Did you guys wail? I wailed, and I got him to take pictures of me at the wailing wall. I went to where they killed Jesus, too. Cool. They took over, it's like, they took over this temple to Venus. The place where it's not like. No, it's not. Yeah.

Jesus's thing. It's somebody else's thing. They took it over. Squathing. There's a stone where he got killed So I was you know messing with that People carry crosses there and then they stack him outside like a bike rack like everybody You go into the place where Jesus got killed like the the I don't know what is it a cavalry?

Calvary or cavalry I never know which one it is I don't think it really is where you got killed But that's where they say he's got killed and they they people do pilgrimages to get there and they carry a cross like LARPing I guess and then they nothing to do with the cross when you get there so there's just a bunch of stacked up crosses like a bike rack out in front someone should start laughing as one of the guards and start whiffing the fuck out of them

yeah mule ya snail out of nine tails five bucks yeah like like man Chinese theater yeah yeah ha ha ha for 20 you can get a crown of thorns even

um that wouldn't be out of place there it's a it's a shithole it's like a bizarre it's gonna swap me um was I talking about. Oh, the wailing wall. I looked at my pictures.

The whaling wall. And I was like, ah, shit. I did, like, I was all overly serious. Damn it. I know. And I'm like, well, now it looks like it's indistinguishable from people who are being real. Fuck! That's how you know it's good, though.

Yeah. It would have been better if I would have licked it or something, you know, but kind of disappointed. I'm disappointed. learning it myself. Who knows what a curse you might have come up with? People wad up little worries and stick them in there like reverse fortune cookies too. Curse cookies.

And that it's separated men and women. Right. And the women's sides like, that's where all the whaling comes from. At least I was in the arena. Vivick's Christmas Crash Out. Where are we? Reefer Madness.

Do you think weed-induced schizophrenia is real? No. You don't think so at all? I think you have to have it in your family first because it's like...

Schizophrenia? Yeah. But do you think that smoking weed could like unlock it? Probably. Yeah, because that's like a new thing. If you do it like a fucking retard.

Yeah, like with meth. Right. Yeah. If you do it to the point where you're like, oh my God, I'm always so anxious and uncomfortable every time I get high,

maybe I should keep doing it. It's like, No, well, drink. That's what I'm shooting for now. Man, I just, I look at my son. I'm like, oh, man, I just like, don't, please don't kill me. That's all. That would be a bad.

I would really look stupid if you did that. It would be fucking, I can't imagine it. I'm trying to imagine like a, like an older him, but I can't. So it's just like a baby trying to attack you, like Kung Tao style. Yeah. Open the mouth. Oh, fuck, Epstein came out too. Have you seen some of the Epstein pictures?

Dude, they're fucking... Like... It makes me miss the 90s. That's just the digital cameras. Yeah, you know, seeing the Epstein pictures make me nostalgic for like... Like, these guys are up to pedo shit. Well, all their cameras don't have Wi-Fi on them, probably is what it is. Yeah, and they're like, they're doing like bad guy stuff, peto stuff.

And it's like, they're just like, dude, it's fucking. fire up the camera. Let's take some picks. They're not worried. Like, even now, if I'm just constantly worried, even at like a thing, I'm like, I don't want to have my picture taken and then goes on Kiwi Farms. I look fat. You know, but that's like,

it's just always there in your mind and looking at Bill Clinton just relaxing, some underage prostitute there. Crazy move. Just relaxed. Taking picks. I'm like, man, I miss. This is making me nostalgic for the 90s, watching these guys

do pedo shit. Because it's like... That was the life. Not the petto stuff, but... No, the pictures. The picture, it's like... It's like that very distinct like Nikon Cool pics, like camera. Yeah, man.

Buy them in bulk and just like, fuck it. And it's like a time capsule. You know? Oh, dude. I... It's making me happy is what I'm saying. I'm like, oh, I remember when Clinton was that young. That reminds me when my parents were that young. That's nice.

I like, I want to see more of these Epstein picks. Yeah. You know? I found an old digital camera I hadn't fired it up. New SD card, took pictures of my car, and was like, damn. Damn, man. That looks fucking cool, man.

Just a certain shittiness. You can, like, sense the temperature in the air almost. Yeah, you can. You can feel the year. Yeah, all this high-fi... It felt right. All this high-res shit now, I'm like... Sucks.

I just assume it's all they are. Yeah. I don't want to see me... I don't want to see four. of me being fat. I want to see that in 316. Higher res, God damn it. Give me no res at all.

Fuck. Oh, man. Yeah, no, I know what you mean, though. All these young, all these whores they got walking around. That was the 90s, man. That was the 90s. I bet you couldn't even find whores this skinny, even at 16. Today, I'm looking at these Epstein pictures.

I'm like, there's no way you can find this many skinny whores, even at 16. years old today. They're too fucking fat. These bitches are too fat, man. You got a bunch of skinny broads lined up. Bill Clinton's probably got his sacks in the other room. You know? You gotta think too. Can't fuck all night.

He's like, please, I need a break. I gotta take a break. I was like, that was the life, man. I'll pass on the whores. I need to see some ID. He's got a hot dog cart next to his bed. Did he? He had a dentist chair? That's crazy.

Man. Yeah. I need more picks. I need more picks. I can't even Just the concept of like Hey man we're all just to grab a This is something I want to remember grab this I know it's not even that bad Not doing any like blackmail stuff I guess

All the kids were white yeah But then most of it censored Obviously we're not going to get you know No, obviously. We're not going to get... They censored all the parts about Israel. So it was like 90% of the document was censored. To protect the victims, they interpreted that as being the people who were blackmailed after raping prostitutes.

Ah. That's true. They weren't specific. Congress wasn't specific. That's a good one. You got... Like a genie. There's that loophole.

Like a monkey paw. Yeah, cool. Maybe next year though, we'll get it. Boys taught to respect women and girls as part of the curriculum in the UK, the Times. Let's see. Maybe I'll play the Vivik's Christmas Crash Out after that. It just feels like it's like a Christmas tradition, man. I don't know what about that shithead makes him want to spin out on Christmas time.

Maybe it's like his whole thing is his whole identity is appealing to like out of touch shithead boomers and the quintessential boomer trait is a sanctimonious lecture on Christmas directed directed inwardly but outwardly. Like the miracle on 34th Street is meant, you know, boomers will play it, but it's meant for you. You need to stop being selfish. You need to be more appreciative of what you have, right? He's trying to inspire and motivate. Yeah. The quintessential boomerism for Christmas is an inspirational derogatory sermon. He needs to have a breath holding contest

under an automatic cool cover. They end up sewer in a big puddle of shit. Well, that's where he's from, so it wouldn't bother him at all. Let me fire up this one. The curriculum,

part of the curriculum taught to respect women. Wow. I bet I could write a, I bet I could write a pretty good curriculum. Let's get some truths out of the way. Number one, women are retarded. All right.

Now that we've got that out of our system. You can respect retarded people. Is that what they say? All boys will be taught. This is the Times, the UK. Boys taught to respect women and girls as part of curriculum. Is this guy, what race is this gentleman that they have on the front here? Is he mixed?

Is he white? I can't tell. white girl. Lessons will cover how to challenge misogyny. Oh, really. And teachers and parents will be helped to spot if children are being

radicalized against women and girls. Yeah, just interview mom. Bring all the moms in here and go, okay, which one of you's annoying as fuck? That would be a thousand percent. Yeah. I see where the radicalized... The call's coming from inside the house.

All boys will be taught how to respect women and girls as part of the school curriculum under government plans to, quote, deploy the full power of the state to crack down on male violence and misogyny. Huh. Teachers will give lessons on how children should challenge misogynistic comments.

They're teaching them how to argue online. That's what they're doing for women. Cool. And behavior to promote, quote, healthy relationships. the Times has been told. Official government advice will also

help teachers and parents to spot signs that children are being radicalized by online misogynists such as Andrew Tate. After that after that fucking beatdown I don't know if there's going to be so much radicalizing as before.

Yeah, there was nothing radical about that shit. There was nothing radical about that beat down. But you know, people take anything. They don't care. The plans will be part of a wide-ranging package of measures to be announced as part of the government's long-awaited violence against women and girls strategy. It was a key pledge in the whatever internal battles over the scope of the policies, funding, and how to measure male violence against women have led to

repeated delays. Oh, they have like a, like a thermometer? Like a little meter. Like a forest fire, danger. These bitches are red fat today. Uh-oh. The misogynies really out of control today. Oh! Oh! Fucking misogynies out of red. We're at DefCon Zero of misogyny. Any woman could get called a bitch today.

You bet don't even drive. Women, stay home. The air quality is very misogyny. Don't even think about eating outside. You will be called a fat pig within seconds. You will descend upon you like killer bees and call you fat. and say your pussy stinks. We're at the,

we're at cunt phase. Any woman could be called a cunt at any moment, even by Americans. What a, what a stupid ass thing to spend your time on. Arguments about how to measure misogyny. Deliver. Cause repeated delays.

Yeah, how many episodes are we in? Are they getting measured by episodes? My podcast. It's like, uh-oh, there's a way more podcasts today. than there was yesterday. Misogyny is really out of control. They have some fat trans woman come in.

Trans man. I mean, come in and give the lowdown. She's their inside man. He's their inside man. Oh, my God. All right. My name is Butch lesbian.

I'm here to give you my score. Like a stock market. Could you bet on it? On Kalshi? Could you bet on the misogyny index? Time will tell. Well. I'm going to play some, I'm going to play some wagers.

I know what size is going to win. See what I can, see if I, maybe I'll throw the game. I'll be like Pete Rose. I'll bet on misogyny. There you go. Or I'll be like basketball. Throw the game. I don't know.

Also bet on misogyny. A home office source insisted that ministers had taken time to make the final strategy as ambitious and bold as possible to fight the 10th. tied of violence, stop abuse and protect victims. So is this like Islam? Is this anti-Islam or what? I don't see anything about Islam in this thing. Shabana Mahmood, the home secretary.

Hmm. Okay, well. Oh, uh-oh, my misogyny's really? Uh-oh, my misogyny's acting up at this picture. My meters horizon, yeah. Uh-oh. Uh-oh. I need emergency intervention.

Let's get this shot of her. I don't want this bitch in charge of young boys to fuck out of here I would like to have something nice again one day you know flying cars I'd like somebody to figure something out again not just Elon Musk

figuring out the gay version of everything and then like talking about it all the time I like other people to figure stuff out too so if we could just stop letting these women and peck

the people who figure out stuff out to death that'd be great we could get back to some of that stuff we could just get all women off the road fuck the flying cars if I could just drive my car that would be great flying cars get them the hell out of here uh

oh okay the home office announced that the goal will be measured on the number of domestic including rape and stalking offenses suffered by women every year. Oh, which was 3 million women. Oh, okay. Well, you're going to have some problems. They're for sure going to have a rise in it after making such a big deal of...

Guys, we got to get the rapes in early before they start counting. You know? So then the next year will be look like, hey, we did okay with the rapes. We got to get the rapes in now. Let's juice the rapes this year So next year we come in Under Quota Just

I couldn't imagine living over there Fuck that Dude There's like cops coming to your house For tweets It's insane Sucks Yeah

They should be refugees We should let in They should just abandon the UK To I mean Yeah they're cool Dirka what They're cool

Oh yeah they're cool Yeah I thought you just said dirka wood. No, fuck that. They should just abandon the UK. It's not a pretty place. It's fucking raining all the time. Rating all the time.

The Beatles came from there. Terrible. Stinks. Yeah. Just abandon it. Let them come over here. And let Ireland take it. Let Ireland take it over. Like, look, you guys can do whatever you want. You got plenty of land there. It's, you know, do you guys?

You guys are tough guys. Take it over. Do whatever you want. To least anyone could do for Ireland at this point. Yeah. Okay. Vivick Christmas Crash Out. Let's see. What did he say?

There is no American who is more American than somebody else. Hmm. That's the most retardant shit I've ever heard in my life. And he's up there with his like, with his used car salesman routine. know, and over-enunciating everything. That shit pisses me off. Like he's in a spelling beat? I gotta hate it.

Shut the fuck up, Indian Frazier. No one wants to hear that shit. Niles. Yeah. Niles. He's just like, like everyone feels... Are you ready for our Duwali-Catillion?

Frazier. Indian Frazier. Indian fucking Frazier. Well, and it's like, he thinks he's being all smart and business-like, and everyone else is like, Fraser's dad. It was just like, man, this guy's gay.

Where did we go wrong where this asshole's talking like that? What do you mean? No American is like, what the fuck? Yeah, bro, if you pay taxes, you're more American than anyone else. Let's start there. If you came over on the Mayflower, you're more American, yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. If you're like part of like VFW shit, like, yeah, you're more American. You know, you got the same rights, but you're more American. Yeah. But for sure counts. Yeah, if your family's been here for a few generations.

Yeah. If you're in Nebraska, you're more American than if you're in California. If you're a farmer, even. If you're a farmer, more American. If you're getting subsidies, if you're like a high fructose corn farmer ass, less American. Less American. Less American. Less American. If I'm part Mexican, less American than people are not Mexican.

Doesn't mean you get different rights. Definitely less American. Because I can go, when the Mexicans take over and kill all of you people, right? During the great Mexican black wars of 2035, I'm going to scoot right in. Say, oh, yeah. See, look at my mustache. Boys, I'm Mexican, American? No. Let's get them I've been building a raft In my backyard For when that war starts Then I can sail back to Samoa

You could sail back to Moana Yeah You got a little chicken for your raft Me and the Rock can go hang out Definitely Definitely more American White people from Europe More American

Same rights Doesn't mean But you can't be going around Saying I'm this I'm this oh yeah I'm just as American You can't bring over cow shit cakes

in your luggage on a plane and say you were more American. Military guys. More American. Military guys who are on bullshit disability, least American of all. Yes. Parasites. People who take. Scourge.

Scourge. They're not American. People who contribute. People who foster social welfare and ideas like freedom and this sort of shit. American, but that's not all. there is because you can't be loyal to ideas. You be loyal, you can only be so loyal to ideas. Right. There's a limit. But you, the limit, there is no limit for loyalty to your blood, your family, your friends, your community. That's what, this is what he misses, I think. That's

where, that's where America is. Oh yeah, I've been here for hundreds of years. Yeah, my family actually died for and was killed by the ideals that you're talking about. They died in, These wars and the government killed them for these reasons. That's, that's American. I'm here today, fresh off the boat from India, and I believe in profits and capitalism and, you know, all this shit that's right there. I'm just as American as you.

No, I'm afraid not. No. You need to pay, you need to put in some dues, buddy. Covering your house in purple stucco does not make you more American. That makes me want to fucking bulldoze that shit while you're awake in it. Same rights, but no, you're not. No. No.

If you're American, a bunch of Americans wouldn't have freaked out on you. That's the test of if you are blank or not. Did you say, did you criticize a bunch of blanks? And what did they say? They got all pissed off. They said, you're not black. Well, then you're not black. Then you can't say the N word.

What if they had said like, oh, man, well, you got some good points. Ah, you got some good points. There are problems with our group. You got some good points. Then guess what? You are part of that group. if he very clearly enunciated the hardest, most crispest, cleanest, I'd be like, well, all right, maybe I'll give him 30 seconds to win me over.

Yeah, all right, let me see if I can find him. Maybe we could listen to one of his clips. He's kind of annoying, though. Christmas crash out. Every time I see him at Christmas, I'm like, I see the team rocket. We're crashing out again, but it's a little Vivek. the American Revolution marked the first time

of people went to war explicitly in the name of universal human principles and ideals those ideals are what make American exceptional as impossible that's retarded No of those words existed back then I don't think so you can't really use them

when you're talking about that shit Yeah they weren't doing They weren't killing British people for human principles and ideals You think those guys were philosophers They were like quit fucking taxing RTE Animals yeah get the hell out of here This is our stuff now.

They were the OG Americans. That's American as shit. Don't fuck with me. That little snake getting tread on isn't about ideals. This is my stuff. Don't fuck with me. People went to war for human principles and ideals in the French Revolution, where they started killing everyone and then themselves.

But not here. It's time for choosing if you believe boys shouldn't compete with girls in sports. If you believe boys should compete. with girls and girls sports, you have no place in this movement. I don't think there should be girls' sports. So, what does that put me? Not American?

If you believe in racial quotas, you have no place in this movement. Well, again... When it comes to driving tickets, maybe. If you believe in normalizing hate towards whites, blacks, Indians, or Jews, you have no place in this movement. What about Chinese?

How come they didn't get on this? Oh, so we can make fun of the China. All right. You can normalize hate against the Chinese, I guess. Look, that's just how Chinese his mind has become, man. He doesn't even think of Chinese stuff anymore. He's Chinese now. Yeah.

Because he pointed out he can't make fun of Indians. Yeah, normalize hate against Indians. Shit, man. Am I normalizing it? He says ramp it up on the Chinese is what? Ramp it up on the fucking China. Yeah, what about Russians? Are they white?

They're cool. They're cool. Ramp it up on the Chinese. If you believe Hitler was cool, you have no place in this movement. That seems kind of targeted towards one individual. If your initials are NF. Yeah. If you believe Stalin should be admired, you have no place in this movement.

Oh, right, Nick Fuentes. I know. Stalin should be admired. When you said NF, I'm like, yeah. I'm like... Didn't Stalin hate Hitler, though? Did he? I'm pretty sure.

You know, for all the World War II shit I've sat through over the years I have remembered goddamn close to none of it and that's shameful. Oh my God, and the big shooting in Australia happened and the woman cops hid behind a fucking car. Did you see that? I did see that.

Two fucking insane Indian Muslim terrorists started shooting up a beach and the women are playing hide and go seek behind a fucking car. And then they shot the guy that stopped him. Oh my God. I mean

I'm being served a buffet of right every all week, every week You're never going to guess what happened I bet I will I bet some woman fucked something up somewhere in this world The woman cops hit behind a car Somebody tried to get one of their guns So they could go stop the terrorists

And they said no That'll only make him matter I think he's a video game boss And then Yeah you gotta wait till he's red Then I'm gonna jump out and shoot him They put a falafel on a fishing line and threw it out and then we're reeling it in And then when somebody

Somebody another immigrant jumped up and wrestled his like Wrestled his gun away. I don't know how Guy must have very weak hands Uh wrestled his gun away He had no backup either I guess out of gun He should have been made of sterner stuff man Maybe I could pull that up that was cool And then the women shot him

They should have shot him both Dude that's got to be Like honestly If I was stopping a violent terrorist attack That would be the first thing on my mind is Fuck if there are any women cops You have to shoot the women cops I gotta I have to either shoot them or they're gonna shoot me

There's no way they're gonna like See and know that I'm disarming the terrorist Right Because they're fucking stupid I learned in my I learned in my misogyny class I'm going to start my own misogyny class Underground All right boys

Women They don't know how much money they're spending They don't You think that they would They would They don't count but they can't They'll do math for you But they don't know what they're doing

So that's lesson number one There's zero context behind the math This is just a process on an island They just say numbers and then they see your reaction. Like, what's this? What's 11 plus 41? They're like,

and then you look, please, like, Fav, five, Fee, they sounded out like Morty. Um, yeah,

didn't Stalin fight Hitler? I think so. Giving me mixed messages, man. Man, I can't remember any of this shit. Psh. Uh, if you call Usha Vance Ajit,

you have no place in this. He said jeet, man. I don't think that's appropriate. Even saying not to do it. I don't think that's very, that's not very Christmasy, that's for sure. Is this another case of white man invented a word that white man can't repeat? If you call, Vivek said this. He said, if you call Usha Vance a jeet, you have no place in this movement.

Can we call him one? Did he think that he could say it because he's Indian? You shouldn't be saying that about somebody's wife You shouldn't be saying that about vice president's wife He's thinly veiling he wants to call her that Yeah Yeah Like when Trump said I never called Kim Jong-un short and fat

It's like how dare you call Usha Vance a jeet She's not a jeet Who would call her a jeet? Who would call her a jeet? Yeah I called her Jeet Grand Cherokee He shouldn't be Very inappropriate Very inappropriate

And if you don't have the guts to say these things without stuttering, then you have no place as a leader in this movement. And he's making fun of people with this movie. Stuttering people? What the hell? You mean hesitating or stuttering? I think he just doesn't like Carl's thing over at WATP. Man, if you call Ushavans a jeet, you shouldn't say that, Vivik.

He's not saying not to call him one, though, so. again you got to read between the lines of these politicians man I mean don't say like don't put that idea in people's heads because that's what like that didn't need to be there I wasn't thinking it now I'm thinking it I don't say it you know I'm gonna now

yeah people will now that they know they can upset you and you're not her yeah how bad would it upset him I look forward to the next Christmas crash out Okay Here's a woman who says she can't buy junk food with snap Oh Home Depot Has noise machines

To get rid of all the illegal Mexicans Oh cool Do they keep the ones out of the store from working there too? Yeah and all the fat latinas that they're there Are scared into the back I guess All the ones that have to draw out with a fucking cigarette Wait, it penetrates bones

Is that what it's... I did say that. Jesus Christ. What the hell? What kind of machine is this? Oh shit. I know where that one is. Okay. Advocates call for removal of machines and demand that companies speak out against ice raids in the parking lots. A Home Depot in LA installed three high-pitched noise-emitting machines outside to deter day laborers from seeking work there, causing them to suffer headaches and nausea. Advocates allege at a press conference, the Instituto. del sur de California

Idepska An advocacy organization That helps day laborers Called for the removal of the machines Where's the bone part? Hey, it's Cypress Park That's where I'm This is my Home Depot

Fuck man Yeah, I was like, wait a second What if I go there and steal the machine I'll be a hero? We're not going to let sound machines Gates and intimidation get rid of us Day laborers are here to stay Day laborer says he now wears

Earplugs to block the noise while he waits for work. The man said the sound penetrates your bones. Oh, the day labor said that. Oh, he's just being a bitch, yeah. I don't think it penetrates your bones. I think he just had a hangover when he's standing out front. Dude, they're talking about my fucking home depot.

The noise machines are mounted on lampposts. It's a parking lot under a highway overpass. That's my fucking home depot. They set up the noise machines several days after the most recent ice raid at the Cypress Park location. Yeah. Wow. Dang, they got 50 people there.

I'm gonna get that bike guy next time he rides by. What if I sign up for ice just for a day? Just get all those guys? Just to get the guy that rode by my house and threaten my wife. Oh, yeah. And then I'll get his family too. Mm-hmm. I wonder if I could do that.

Hometown hero shit. Yeah. I could put together a posse. Dude, your property value would go up, too. Yeah, yeah. Wow. Well, I don't know. I think the illegal Mexicans are, how should I say this?

You know, like, they're like natural, they're like a natural moat against other sorts of pests. Yeah, you're right. Yeah. It's like a. Yeah. Not quite probiotics, but biotics? They're like a layer. They're there.

They're like a mucus membrane. I can reason with them. Okay. A bunch of other stuff. Yeah, something about Jews. You had something about Jews stealing apples that you were telling me about. What was that? Perhaps I'll look that up.

So that was pretty funny. Yeah. You know, I saw the like... Salt lick. Dispatch. just were caught in a Thai hunter's trail. Is that it? Yeah.

One day ago? Okay. Oh, come on. No, this isn't. Dude, I saw this and it was like, what are they doing? They came right out of the tunnel, huh? What the hell?

No, no, no. Don't see that. Oh, boy. All right. Boy. What the fuck is happening? So these guys They've got a very stereotypical look

Face that they're making These trespassers were caught on Thai hunters' trail cameras They stole all the apples off of his apple tree And stole his salt lick What do you think when they saw the camera? And then he's like Oh He's doing an impression of a Chinese guy, I think

That's a pretty good one What does his shirt say? Nezgev? Oh, man. Huh, well, if they didn't steal it, make Negev great again, bro, this has got to be a setup. No way, he's wearing a fucking shirt that says,

dude, that's what when I saw this, I was like, you gotta be fucking. If he didn't steal him, someone was going to steal him, so. Yeah. You know, if not you, then who, right? Here's some Congo monkey meat that somebody's trying to sneak in. From the gorilla lady? Maybe.

Mm-hmm, mm-hmm. Look at this. Jesus. A passenger from the Congo believed the food they were bringing in was fine. It was not. The passenger's suitcase at O'Hare Agricultural Specialists found 11 pounds of beans with pests. 17 pounds of unknown plants and 4 pounds of non-human primate meat. Jesus Christ.

How bad did that fucking plane stink, man? Why are we letting people with monkey meat? Look at this fucking... Look at this shit. Looks like a turkey, but it's a monkey. They fucking bound it up and everything? That's so... I don't want some little monkey getting bound up like this.

Oh, come on. Look at his teeth. Man, it's the... He's running for mayor. It's the bog guy Oh That's fucking There's no meat on this thing

Who's eating this instead of just chicken That's fucking crazy Here's a mummified monkey I'm just bringing in Dude did you know that people used to eat mummies Yeah Mummia dude I just found that out

That shit is so fucking crazy So People in like A long time There's been a lot of mummy eating. Yeah, dude. It's fucking crazy.

Recent history. Yeah, dude. No, those motherfuckers are crazy. This is white people. This is like... No, this is a British fucking empire.

Yeah. Mm-hmm. Gravedigger. Call in if you're listening. Dude, they thought that because of the name mummy, they thought it was

a similar like ancient ancient chemical that was supposed to have healing and restorative properties. Yeah, they called it mummia, I think. Mumia. They thought mummy and mummia were the same. So they decided to start eating mummies. Grind up.

Humans. It's like one of those Iberico hams on the hook that you slice the thin layer of. Oh, mummy. No, I think they were using like a cheese crater and just grinding off a little. They're eating fucking human mummies. Don, that's crazy. And it was the demand was, this is hundreds of years. Yeah.

The demand was so great. That's why motherfuckers started museums and shit. They're like, well, we already ate all the mummies, but... There's only a couple left. There's a cool, like, we could take this obelisk, right? Dude, so they ran out of, they were running out of, obviously mummies are hard to come by, you know? Because once they've been consumed, yeah. So they started digging up graves and just feeding and making face.

Mammies. Yeah. And nobody said anything about this. No. Nobody caught onto this. No one. It just goes to show how overlooked the whole death industry is entirely. And I was reading this online.

I was like, wait a minute. How have I gotten to, how am I 45 just finding out about how much mummies people are eating? There's some amount of undead-ass people walking around out there, man. That's weird. It's just way too soon It's way too recent Very least it's fucking weird I would say yeah

It's fucking weird It's really recently though Like 500 years That's not American Preeting mummies and stuff Christmas American Not Christmas Not less American

Two Christmas a year Fireworks on Christmas Very American American. Drunk driving on Christmas? Around the block. Yeah, that's a tough one. It's tough now because of Uber and all the self-driving cars and stuff.

Oh. It's different. Drinking and Waymo? That's American. That's drinking and driving is American. Let's stop. Let's not pretend to someone we're not. Okay?

It's not a good decision, but it's American as Apple Pie. Dude, the Waymo's driving itself, man. Who's to say? I couldn't believe I've seen that. one American is no less American the other Motherfucker what? I don't think so Well an American house is like five people living in it

A Yeah Not American house is 30 people living in it Playing this music at 11 At night every Saturday Bop ba ba ba ba pop pop Not American Yeah

I realized if you wanted the easiest Job in music just be a mariachi bassist It's like fucking the same Three Notes anyway Just for four. five hours straight. Bop, Bop Bop Bop Bop

Yeah, I was like damn, dad or polka, you could probably make a killing doing fucking nothing. Yeah. Okay, let's do comments. Um, uh, turkey sandwich says,

was this the thing your parents took you to that you were talking about the other work? And then he sent me a picture of Pope John Paul the second in Phoenix, Arizona in 1987. Oh shit, was it? Yeah.

Yes, I guess he has one too. Let me find it. That's awesome. uh yeah look oh shit it's all purple look at that

uh in in remembrance of his holiness visit to phoenix arizona fall of 1987 damn man what a time

so we've been doing the armless boomer tries to inspire crowd since 1987 1988 78 at least right I think they kind of created it in

in the 1980s fuck like we want to see freaks, but we want to do it with respect. This is inspirational, yeah. This is inspirational. Don't... We're laughing with him. Yeah, yeah.

It's not funny, it's expiring. Inspiring. Okay? And... They snip him after he finished his performance and just fucking bloodspray. Don't you dare pretend to do it on the way home? That's

going to be a big problem for you. It's not funny. Don't put your arms. in your shirt and try and drive with your teeth all the way. Look at me. I'm playing for the Pope. They're trying to dig you out of your car with the jaws of life after it's flipped over and they're like,

your arms are in your shirt with the phone. I'm driving for the Pope. Woo-hoo! Oh, it says, check this shit out. A gold insurance plan covers top surgery. Oh, really? That's good to know. I just had to pay a fucking staggering emergency

room bill. Jesus. One emergency room has a special deal worked out with insurance where they can charge you more than the other one.

And you can't know until you get the bill. You can't call them up beforehand and ask. There's no way to avoid it than just like, I don't know,

go to a reliable emergency room. Good fucking luck with that. This guy says I had to argue with insurance. for three months to get ear tubes for my son.

And meanwhile, this person says, Top surgery bill came in. Total fees. Holy shit. Top surgery is getting your tits cut off. So you can know what it feels like to be a man. You've got to get your tits cut off so you know what it feels.

Because being a man is an idea. It's not about your lineage. Right. It's about an idea of not having tits. Top surgery bill came in, by the way. Total fees, 33,000. thousand dollars hospital fees 30,000 physician fees 3,000 insurance covers 32 fucking thousand dollars that's fucking crazy you pay $1,000 I had to pay four times this for my son's

stomach ultrasound you can't just be like a regular person anymore like every which way it's like oh well everything's like mostly fine for you so we'll ding you the hardest yeah it's like no these assholes who are... How fucked did you get? I don't know. Not really fucked. Well, this person got fucked hard. They got put in the wrong gender.

Oh. Well, I didn't get fucked that hard. Well, you're gonna... Looks like you're right for it then. Prepare to be fucked. Huh? That shit fucking... What if I did get put in the wrong gender?

You're joking. Now you're taking money out of the bank, so we're gonna fuck you even extra harder for that withdrawal that you just made. Sling Daddy. Just sends a link to the BBC. Okay. Is it a woman alert?

Oh yeah, well you talked about that one. Boys sent on courses to tackle misogyny in schools. Let's watch a send a course in. Yeah, the $20 million teachers will get training on how to identify positive role models. Yeah, who's a positive male role model? Like, who's the most famous homosexual of this time, period? Period. That guy that Adam ruins everything, probably him.

He's like a good... A straight homosexual. Who's the top straight homosexual these days? There's too many good answers. He used to be Richard Simmons. He was cool, trying to get women to lose weight. Now, that was a role model. That was a role model.

He openly hated women to the point where he made it his whole fucking lifestyle. You can't... To be less of them. Yeah. What's your goal in life for there to be less women? And by that, I mean, making them skinny? We're killing them. Either one.

It's just like, you know, gone are the days of someone who's really, at least like more, you know. Yeah. There's only a handful of guys

who really commit to the bit like that. Or rather are just that. Conservative leader, Kermy Bandersnatch, criticized the move, accusing the government of silly gimmicks. You need to go further than that. You need to go like,

they're fucking retarded. Mm-hmm. they eat shit they're a bunch of pedophiles they're fucked they're fucked yeah just say they're fucked they have shit in their head

they're totally fucked their wives are fat and dumb mm-hmm uh okay thanks for the link van finale oh what would what do you have

uh oh here's the snap recipient That's bitching about food. Okay. Snap recipient learns she can no longer buy junk food with her food stamps. All right. It's not even cool.

It's not even cool. Like, why do they do that? What's the point of food stamps if it's just for real food? Great question. Snap recipient should be able to go into the grocery store and buy whatever they like. Dota, candy, pre-packed sweets, prepared desserts, and juiced with less than half of natural fruit or vegetable juice.

And it will not be allowed. to be purchased on snap cards. I don't know what Trump is doing. I don't know what's going on. It's not even cool. Like, why do they do that? Yeah. You know what pisses me off seeing a picture of it in that clip, though?

Aside from the very obvious. Yeah. Those little fucking pies you see in the bakery section at any chain grocery store? Who the fuck buys those? I hate those pies. They always fucking are disgusting. There's too much crust. There's too much flavorless fucking crust.

Too much flavorless fucking crust. The filling sucks, too. It's just like... And I bought them before and I get... I hate it every time. I'll be like, you know what? Like, it's been a few years. Maybe they got better.

No. They got... Fuck, everything like that got worse. And they still keep making it. But every time I go to the store, their shelf is always full. Tons of them. There's tons of them. I don't know.

Did they just make like a batch of them 10 years ago and never sold out? I don't know. But... I don't know who's buying them. I think they just make... to throw them away. Yeah. Good question.

Like I think it's just an expense so that they can fit under a certain... Yeah. They're the ones riding the moth. God. The gentleman sausage. Weight Watchers is as good as it is because four guys have an entire month

to scour the web for only the most prime fat people content. So naturally everyone wants even more shows in a month right up until they get it. He's writing a horror, like a horror movie. for bonus show. I'm spooked down.

What are he saying that we couldn't? I could do that show every day. What are you talking about, sir? Yeah, there's so much fat shit going on. Yeah. We could do that show every single day. I would never get old. My bookmark feed is clogged with them even.

With fat sauce? Hot fart, Dingledorf. Thank you, Dick. Very cool. Yeah, hot fart. I didn't know you were banned. Thank you for all your previous super chats. The Lokes says,

My fat watch pin fell off my backpack at an airport I think it got jammed in some fat ladies mobility scooter tire and ruined her day I like to think it got jammed well Let me know maybe I should I should have done pins for Christmas or something Fat watch pins is there still time? Yeah, we could get a good turnaround on brass stuff in like what four days? You know China fucks you with the pins so they give you those stupid rubber backs Oh yeah instead of the metal clips

and they don't work as well No they suck Make fuck China pins Vivik said I can hate on China more pins I'd like to lock China and Israel In the fucking phantom zone Poop kick that shit off Boop so long

Send them both to the Philippines man Yeah Holy shit They moved Israel to the Philippines That would be Here take all of it yeah Enjoy Vinnie sarcophagus

Oh yeah Oh I almost lost my fat watch pin at Skank Fest a couple years ago. It felt's very lucky to notice it on the floor right after it fell. We'll pour one out for your fallen pin. Everyone's fucking pins are falling off. Got to make some weight watchers ones now. Mike says,

So when you cremate a fat fuck, do you send the ashes to the family on a pallet? This is fascinating gravedigger. Everybody loved gravedigger. Yeah, Grave digger was great, man. He was great. I hit my limit of those death stories. I'm like, okay, I'm out.

I needed more after that. That's... Well, between him and Mr. Poop Dad, that was probably our most gut-wrenching one yet. My wife says, she's like, I can just hear that Mr. Poop Dad. That's like he has the same diarrhea sound every time. David, Freezer, he says, it's Furor Friday. Get it right, Dick. Oh.

So Nick Fuentes didn't have Hitler Friday. He had Furor Friday. Chuck Schumer ruined it. Probably on purpose. Make it sound gay. Furr Friday sounds hilarious. Those fucking assholes. They totally did Nick Dirty again.

Hitler Friday. Is it Hitler Friday? They have Mexican food Tuesday. Is it Mexican food Tuesday, Chuck? Is that what it is? It's Texas Mexis food Tuesday. You want some Texas mexas food? No.

Hitler Friday, my ass. Yeah. Furer Friday. He couldn't say that because it's too good. Yeah. It's plaqued like that. It's great. Oh, he did him dirty again.

Every, every dirty chance they get. Fucking boomers, man. Fucking boomers are doing Nick dirty. Just. The whole, that whole, like, Charlie Kirk conference was about, Nick. Every, every Gen X shithead came out and tried to do their speech about. They can't stop themselves, man. Sword in the stone, man.

Every single one tries to pull that sword out of this. Oh, I'm going to kill. I'm gonna get Nick Fortez. I'll be the king of young men. Nope. I want to see poop dead take out the sword in the sun. It's fucking pathetic. Another fun Bible fact, Satan doesn't have a name.

Everything they call them, including Lucifer, is a title. Yeah, I think we're learning that the Bible's actually, it's just not even bullshit. It's just like, it's a mess. Maybe the real Satan was the friends we made along the way Fond Tractor I wonder if the fire was avoiding the endangered plants I doubt it Maddox is back

Okay What you got? What you got? What's Maddox doing and saying? Should we do a bonus episode next week? I think so Justin said he can't do it because of Christmas Oh shit Oh yeah I saw this one

so breaking brown university victim ided as ella cook 19 VP of the republican club it's a bummer this girl 19 brown university got shot by some psycho immigrant like 45 year old man immigrant who's at school and they took the cameras out of the school because it was upsetting the palestine protesters so they have no camera footage and then a homeless guy spotted the killer. Like he thought it was weird. The way this guy was acting, he's like, I think that guy's weird. And he called it in, and that was the guy that did this shit.

So the FBI did jack shit. So this girl got killed by an insane immigrant. And then Maddox chimed in with, she wasn't the only victim, you dishonest hack, because this guy also got killed. brown guy. Mook Muhammad Assiz Umar Zokov.

Was also killed. Where the fuck is this guy? Probably Kansas. Kansas City. Missouri. Probably Canada. I don't know. I don't know this guy. So, uh, I don't know if I'm, you know, I'm probably, probably anti what happened to him.

I don't think this was the correct way to, for Maddox to present this. I think Maddox is saying this because the guy is not white. I think Maddox has decided to try to parade around this other shooting victim because of his race. Because this white girl is getting too much attention. How much of his millions did he give to this guy? I don't know.

Did he send him any of his gummy bears? The news ID this kid. The news of this kid ID recently came out. The girl was first, you moron. You know how many people I'm seeing only post his name and not Elias? Oh, my bad. So we should rush to politicize this as quickly as possible before all the facts come out.

Man, Maddox. How the fuck does he have the time of day, man? So why highlight only her? Where's the post about the other victim? Looks like Erica Kirk got a lot of donations after Charlie's passing. I don't know. Look at these. He's like totally pissed that this girl is getting attention. I wonder if Maddox cried about Rob Reiner. I don't know if he had a big post about comedy. Well, you know, I'm sure he almost was about to seal the deal with Rob Reiner.

Get a script sold, man. He was almost there. Johnny Rico, woman alert. Woman alert. Woman alert. Here we go. Oh, have you seen this shit? Oh, this is so bad.

You bet your fucking ass. Fucking worthless. Come on. A woman got her car stuck in a flooded road in the UK. So she called the emergency number. The firefighters in the UK throw rope to a woman trapped in a puddle during a flood. Oh, the speaker icon's up top. Oh, oh, yeah.

Dude. So they throw like a buoy, like a lifeguard thing to her with a rope on it. She's in a car, the water's up to about mid-wheel. The water's, is it over the bottom of her door? I don't know, probably. You have to be. What an idiot. And so she gets out and it's lower than her mid-calf.

She walks out after calling emergency services. She thought they were gonna tow her out probably Like a free tow, you know Something's wrong, I better call That she's got a car full of water Yeah And it's still there Fucking bitch

Yeah Fucking bitch man I thought you guys were gonna tell me No we're like saving lives I should have drowned her Yeah they should It should have filled her glue her car shut and Fucking

pour water in Mess up her hair I hate the UK, man. Me too. That's American, see? Yeah. Hating the UK? Hating other countries.

Look at all the freedom they took away from you guys. Look at how retarded and inept you guys are. Being proud of nuclear bombs getting dropped on civilians. I'm not, which makes me less American than people who are. Well, you know, you can't be using that as a first thing. It's got to be last resort. It's American to like, hey man, you push us this far. We're going to turn...

Yeah, I'm okay. I'm for that. We're going to make a lot of ghosts in your area if, you know, we're going to haunt the fuck out of wherever you live. We're just tired of it. We're sick of it. We're sick of it, man. You're done. You're nooked.

Pop sculpture says, I don't really understand the Riley hate. He's a good kid. Oh, we're doing more Riley back. Now, be careful. Diego's going to respond to this. And we're going to get a whole back and forth here, okay? Oh, man, there's a whole subplot. Today in Riley, in the Riley Convo, I don't really understand the Riley hate.

Now we're going to get a, now I know, we're going to get a very thorough explanation of why the hate exists. He's a good kid. I met him at a Thanksgiving Dick Show meetup one year, and he came through town not too long ago. I took him and mint out for tacos. just a normal dude who happens to be a pretty funny and highly entertaining yeah that other guy's gonna have a lot of words for what you just said is very problematic for the people who hate riley and know that they have a good reason for it they feel it in their bones dude it's penetrated their bones man i mean i'm gonna give i'm gonna get blowback

for something so outrageous that you've said pop sculpture but I don't want it to go unsaid. You wrote it? I'm reading it. Datas says, I love the Grave Digger bit. Those stories are wild. Retards actually do often work, especially if it's only mild. Are you saying that this is not a very good segue?

You're talking about the Grave Digger. Now you're talking about retards working. They need to make less than $1,500 a month to qualify. It's usually stuff like bagging at a grocery store, dishwashing, et cetera. The cutoff IQ-wise for intellectual disability is 70 to 70. So some of our intellectually disabled are smarter than the average person in certain countries Also most of the downies in that vid were skinnier than your average woman what the fuck? Yeah, yeah

They used to be all fat and now for them to be like wait a second if you were fat but now you're skinny Yeah, they should measure retarded by weight instead of IQ Oh over 200 pounds you're as a woman you're definitely retarded Yeah, you can't you don't know to just go for a fucking walk every so often? Yeah, you gotta be retarded. If you're under 200, there still might be something wrong with you,

but it's not being retarded. It's not that out of control. You can save it. Will F says gravedigger's great. Definitely have them back on. Methamphroids. I don't blame women for stupid shows and novels. Nobody wants to read beta Billy Leaves the Friend Zone.

That's for sure. Well, it is humorous. That's all. It's as gay as like anime. Women's romance novels. Yeah. Like anime is fucking gay, trash, like romance shit, basically. Look at, I'm a fucking loser, and all these women love me.

Same shit. It's all. I'm gonna fight a battle based on, like, my emotions. Like, I didn't train for this. I'm just, like, my superpower is based on my, uh, emotions that I'm having. How out of my comfort zone I am. Yeah, my internal strength.

So that's exactly what women's novels are about. I think once you get to halfway in one of those books, a big boxing glove should come out and punch you right in the fucking face. What did guys do before anime? Do they have romance novels for men before anime? There's a lot more like muffler shops and like radiator shops around. Yeah, it was more like porno stuff. There's still a lot of porno stuff, but I don't know, anime is

Well, that was the thing is instead of getting your kicks from anime, you had like a calendar in your shop, right? You know what you also had? Actual women. That's true. That had to talk to you because they didn't have a entertainment device. That's right. That's what happened. Okay.

I think we've solved it. Glenn J. hilarious. Fellas the Grave Digger was a great guest. Yep. Trio Doug says, be careful out there. And then he links to an FBI Turtle Bomb Island plot to do terrorism in L.A.

Did you see this? No. The Turtle Island bomb plot. Wow. FBI arrests four people says it was planning to detonate pipe bombs on New Year's Eve in California. Whoa.

Wow. The Justice Department Monday said it has arrested four people in L.A. We're allegedly working together on a bomb plot that was set to take place around the city on New Year's Eve. Man, I would be fucking pissed if somebody bombed New Year's Eve in L.A. As hard as it is to get anybody to go out in L.A.

If you made it harder... Shut the rest down, yeah. Oh, man. They should hand these people over the... cartel or something. Four people arrested, got their names, were identified at members of the Turtle Island Liberation Front.

This is a Korkchungis terrorist group. Liberation Front? What are their weights, do you think? What are their genders? How many cisgenderes do you think there are? None. None.

The three members would plant backpacks with IEDs at different points along their assigned buildings, adding that the IEDs would be complex pipe bombs. Okay, so they don't know, they had no idea what they're doing. Were they just goth kids? The plan also had outlined all the security precautions the members should take while executing the plan, including using burner phones, de-clothing locations, and setting up long movies to stream at home to serve as an alibi put on Lord of the Rings

extended extended edition documents also allege they included a step-by-step process for crafting a pipe bomb oh

they're motivated by pro-Palestine an anti-law enforcement oh okay um and anti-government ideology targeting five separate locations across LA What were the locations, dude?

They were going to go to five separate places on L.A.? On New Year's? Good luck. Maybe you get there on midday January 1. I don't know about New Year's Eve. They were using Signal, the FBI says. Okay. It was titled The Order of the Black Lotus. Oh, these are...

What does that? What does that mean? Is that a Harry Potter? The Order of the Black Lotus. Oh, that's a TV show? It's a recurring trope, often appearing in fantasy and games as a secretive, powerful and some... Bro, this is a fucking corchungous terrorist group. Look at this.

It's in Assassin's... Uh... Gaming lore, League of Legends. Oh, Contra, even. Contra. It's a team of... elite female agents. Oh my God.

They've got to be tortured. These people have to be tortured. I hate all this fucking symbolism shit too. Yeah. It's like, ooh, we spend all this time just like fucking hyping ourselves up. Yeah, we got this secret little game

between us going and it's like... We wrote a show Bible about our terrorist activities. A branding guide. Yeah. like, fuck off. Either do it or don't.

Yeah. Okay. And preferably don't. Well, I hope they're raped in prison. Ian, what makes me a rage, fat nerds? Why do all the nerdy women

have to be so fucking fat? Why can't a girl watch anime and play video games without being a tub of lard? I feel like the five women who are willing to pretend to be nerdy and autistic

that aren't fat are treated like sacred cows to be fapped over for eternity. I hate it. I wish it was like the 70s when being fat was super rare. It fucking sucks. And I blame the corporations and the government.

Fuck them both. Inverse owl. Says that. That's the only reason they're into that stuff though, right? Because they're too fat to get any attention at a football game. Right. They'll get lathered up.

Yeah. You know? They'll be told to go out about... They'll be told to go out on the field. Yeah. Get out there. What are you doing in the stands? Aren't you a big fat pig that they... You're up and freeze up and send running around at halftime?

You're the big backer. Reject them. Gordo says... Oh, this is about Vito. All right. It's a big one. Okay. Let's see Fat Watch.

Two already. Shit. Shit. A day in fat news. I've got a story today. Dylan. Oh, sorry, Dylon. Hey Dick and Johnny, call me Dylon.

This happened a little while ago, but it's one of my favorite true stories about a strange encounter with a fat woman. Close encounter of the fat kind. A couple years ago, my wife and I were on the Njago ride at Legoland in Southern California with our then five-year-old son. We were nearing the end of the ride

when suddenly everything stopped. An obese woman in the car in front of us, estimated at about 250 pounds, stepped out to exit and immediately started yelling in pain about her leg or ankle. It wasn't clear, but she was loud, angry, and clearly unrefined in her public demeanor, dropping F bombs and really laying it on. She was accompanied by an equally overweight man. No kids. Within seconds, she collapsed to the ground. in a sweaty heap. Her male companion tried to help her up, but he could barely bend down due to his own lack of physical fitness. The ride remained stopped as staff stood by,

unsure how to approach the situation. We just sat in our car watching this unfold, feeling a mix of concern and awkwardness as her crude shouting and complaining echoed through the building while the waiting riders watched impatiently. Eventually, her male companion managed to get her to a bench outside the gates of the ride. The only compassion I felt during this entire ordeal came when I watched him carrying this vile woman like a strong man, struggling to lift a boulder at the Highland Festival. She kept screaming the whole time, and it was honestly hard to watch. My wife and I exchanged suspicious glances, trying not to let this scene affect our young

son, and neither of us sure whether she was seriously hurt or putting on a dramatic ruse. What would you prefer? If it was a scam, despite her absurd theatrics, her boyfriend, husband's embarrassment, and dejected reaction really sold it. In the end, they let us go again without waiting. When we left the ride, the fat woman was still there, getting loaded into a wheelchair. She just busted, you know, those heels,

the human body is not rated for this load. A tendon gave out. A muscle gave out. Tissues gave out. Torn meniscus trying to get off a fucking Lego ride. She's on the gridiron every day. That's what you don't realize. she's eating off of the

grid iron every day she's eating off of that gridiron every day she's performing at the level of a highly of a highly tuned athlete without any of the tuning oh

packing on a highly tuned athlete it's the human body just can't take that kind of abuse it's not Disneyland Lego land's not made for fat people it'd be funny if they made

a Lego wheelchair so there's all these dimples all over her fat ass, getting wheeled off. Sitting on all the sharp edges. I guess really, probably the most honest interaction you have with fat people is at the theme parks because they can't stay away from them.

And they can't not make a scene either. Yeah. No matter what. It's always like, my favorite is when you're out of theme park and you see just this obese fucking mountain of slugs with elbow up on the counter talking up to the poor bastard who just wants to go on there 15

and between the and I want to and make sure there's no salt and it's always like a and a diet soda or no salt or some weird it's always the most high maintenance thing and it takes fucking twice as long

to get your food and the whole time I'm like damn I'm not even hungry anymore I've fucking waited so long they do if you can't if you can't stand up order, you don't get, you shouldn't get served. Yeah. Like if you're too drunk to order, they shouldn't serve you anymore. When I worked at McDonald's, there used to be

this fat cow that would come through in an old Chrysler fucking wagon. And she was so fucking fat that she couldn't roll her window down. She couldn't, like, move her arm back enough to the, so she would have to pull extra far forward and then open the door and then

reach her hand out the back like this, and you'd have to hold. Oh, Jesus, without turning? turn? Like an action figure? It was fucking crazy. Yeah. And it was just like the first time it happened, I was like, no fucking way. It got to the point where I started throwing like barbecue sauces into the

drive-thew and she'd run them over and they'd spray up the side of her door. Because I'd hear her and I'm like, nah, this fucking bitch again. Because she would order like 20 things at a time. And then the line would get all long and then people would get all pissed at me. And I'm like, well, if there wasn't this fucking, if they didn't. didn't build the car around this tub of shit. Like, you know, you could have got your food by now, but I don't know what it is, man.

Is she eaten in the car? I don't know if she ever got out of it. I mean, I assume so, but like, but yeah, there's something about that, like, the fatter they get, they get, the more attention they require, too, which is crazy because it's already a lot. Yeah. But it's like, everything now revolves around me.

I don't know why that is. It's crazy, dude. In the end, when we left the ride, the fat woman was still there getting loaded into a wheelchair. Howling in pain and yelling obscenities at the park staff and anyone else who would listen. Yeah, they're always rude to staff, too. Oh, yeah. Like, that's the craziest part. It's like these people are trying to help you.

They're like the ones bringing you what you need most. All in all, Legoland and our vacation in San Diego that year was full of wonderful memories. but to this day, this incident is the only thing we ever talk about. Thanks for this day. Hell yeah. Your daughter learned a very important lesson that day. There you see that? Don't get like that. What, did I skip some here?

Oh, yeah, no. Okay. This is from Liam. A hundred bucks says she can't physically clap. Okay. Are we about to lose 100 bucks right now? Jeez. Jesus.

You know what's crazy is I know all these fat bitches now. Yeah, that's the... My Pocodex has been filled out with all these fucking animals. Who's that fat bitch and every single one? Oh, that's a jiggly puff with the arms sticking out. Oh, wait a second. That's Tess Holiday. Dude, I'm going to do that for the next Weight Watchers.

I'm gonna do silhouette game. Guess who? Who's that fat bitch? Who's that tubba shit? Who's that tubba shit? Fucking. That always had to be eating in every picture, too.

This is Jamie Weebe. Jamie Widesby? Widesby. Jamie Widelode. It says, doing it scared. Existing. She's speaking on behalf of her heart. That's why it says doing it scared.

Oh, yeah. Is it the heart exploding? To find the love of my life. The tea is exceptionally good today. Think I might have found him in between chapter two and chapter five. Oh, you thought he was real in this economy? I'm so mentally stable. It's insane. Know what is real?

Going to a romance book festival with your besties and having the time of your life. 10 out of 10, zero notes. Not that you'd be able to read my writing anyway. One time in grade five, a teacher ripped up my paper because it was too much. messy. The paper was a menu. It was a sushi menu checking off all the luncheon wanted.

The checkbox. There you go, it's the checkbox. Uh-huh, and I'll go, uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh. You write the number nine so clearly. For every box? Nine, nine, nine, nine, nine. Like a seagull. Holy shit.

What is she talking about? She went to a romance novel. Con? Were they two skinny friends? Who could be fucked like that? Right. What are they doing at a romance novel festival? Come on.

She's not interested. This is the... She's the fridge garden snacks, man. Forget fear of missing out. I'm relieved. I'm not invited. You're the outfit and show up for yourself. Waiting till you look or feel different is like waiting for raining. Dude, what the fuck is this? What the fuck is this?

This is a romance novel festival where they got a bunch of Hot chicks dancing around and like weird Victorian shit and a magician. Is this thing cool? Well, I think that's the thing is it sells the illusion of like, yeah, I've been pretending to be someone else when I read books this whole time now to see these. Yeah, this is who you're reading about. I'm imagining being one of them now. Like, that's got to be it. This is interesting.

And a drought useless and disappoint. See, they show hot women dancing. And then it's like, get the cows out. Let me get a good, I need my Terminator vision on. Let me get a good look at this crowd. Okay, she's kind of big. It's hard to tell because she's 500 pounds. This girl's got inward dense in her arm.

She's got a neck. She's a little thick here. She's got that, you know, Latina slash Italian thickness to the head. You know how they do it. Put that on a lawyer billboard or something. It's useless and disappointing. You can start right now. I truly had the best time and I can't wait to see with the next one.

I love you. Look at how tiny this little girl is. This is like fucking Java's fucking barge. All fats me out of the same in the dark, man. Besties were off to find the love of my life. The tea is exceptionally good today. Ever after. It's called.

In between chapter two and chapter five. Oh, you thought he was real in this economy? I'm so mentally stable. Like, what the fuck, dude? It's such a weird. It's like baseball fantasy camp for fetch. chicks. Yeah. Well, and the way she'd pieced it all together, too.

I'm like... Schizo. Did the weed finally get me? Am I going schizo? Oh, shit. Dude, what? Okay. I got to look this up. Ever after.

What the fuck is that? Ever after romance novel convention. It just turns out that ever after romance novel is actually a Ben and Jerry's flavor. Yeah, it's a Toronto International Festival of Authors For romance readers and authors Oh, okay During Thanksgiving season

Hmm Hmm Hmm Experience the magic of romance At Ever After 2025 What are these chicks doing What is this?

Had a romantic Had a romantical time at ever after Okay Oh man All right I gotta check this out later To see how fat these girls are

Them heels be fighting He says Okay Mamma Mia This is a big black lady She's walking on dirt She'd be striking oil Is she a prostitute

Is she AI Wow I'm talking about your baby No, that's not AI. That's just precious. Precious, how precious got her group back. I mean, absolutely no tits. Like, coming out of her clavicle.

She's built like a brick shit house, man. Yeah. She's built like a brick shit. Okay, what else do we got here? FatCon 2025 from Hayden. Okay, Hayden. Let's see what you got. Then we'll do voice meals.

Fat Conference. Fat Con. Yeah. I really want to go here. I feel like my destiny is... I went to a fat person conference. It was crazy. Let's check it out. We are at Philly Fat Con. What is Philly Fat Con you ask? Philly Fat Con is really the first convention of its kind. Made by plus size fat people for fat people. Okay. Here you're in a space where you can build community. It's Fubu. Understand your lived experience. Who want to meet you, commune with you and get a chance to know you. Build community. No surprise. It's

mostly women here. I'd say for what, like, like 15 women? God damn. That's... Did he say no surprise? That's fucking crazy. John, the man. All right?

It's one guy. What made you want to come to Philly Fat Khan, 2025? I think just being in a creative space with, like, people who can celebrate our bodies. When you become a certain size, it definitely becomes a part of your identity. Once you're overweight for it. a certain amount of time at a certain amount of size. It really becomes part of just who you are. That's how you see yourself, even if you lose the weight.

What made you come to Philly Fat Con 2025? As a fat activist, I want community, and this is the place to be for community. What's a fat activist? Someone who wants people to understand kind of the impacts of weight stigma. Struggling to tie that sweater right her waist. It's a bed sheet. A princess used it to repeat. Pell down her backside and escaped.

She's tied it around her waist. And what it means to kind of move around in the world. What made you want to come to Philly Fat Con 2025? I came for the environment being around like that one of them was up there stacking those books above that TV. Well, I came because there's nothing to knock over here anywhere else. There's always plates or something that I can catch and, you know, knock over. Dude, okay, I got one for you.

Okay. I was out at brunch the other day And nice sleepy little place And at the table right next to us is this fucking whole sugar tower It's got like the solid It looks like a whole spice rack on the table, right? And this fat bitch with her big ass gun Fucking turns around

And knocks the whole thing off the table And gives me, my girlfriend, everybody just the dirtiest look Yeah And it was like, we didn't knock it over with your fat gun That was you. that thing over. Yeah. You knocked it over.

Well, and me, my high ass, I'm like, oh shit. So I look over it. Everything had shattered. And there was a pile of sand that looked like the fucking model representation of the Sahara Desert. It was crazy. But I didn't even remember until now. Yeah. It's a nightmare for them.

It's got to be a nightmare for them. They're the actual bowls in China shop, man. They can't. Because it's hard for, like, it's hard for me. Just because I'm like, I'm fat. I'm too fat. Tall. Dude, I knock shit over all the time. For them,

it's like trying to, imagine everything you do trying to carry a beanbag around. Man. Impossible. Impossible. Am fucking possible. Be around people that are same as me, struggle with the same things and figure out best way to live life. Community. Yeah, community.

Did you have a good time? I did. Yeah, and I'll be here tomorrow. Awesome. What about you? Well, unless she dies in her sleeve. Bro, it's so cool that there's a community for people to get together of like-minded individuals. But I don't know of this is where I should be. Being completely honest, I don't want to be fat. So, should I go to the fat conference where people are talking about loving yourselves for being fat? Should I love myself

for where I'm at? You know what I mean? Or should I keep pushing and going harder and not accepting who I am to get to eventually where I want to go? I don't know. If you have any advice, please let me know in the comments. I got the greatest advice for him. He's just got to start over as Chris Gaines, dude. Yeah. It's the only way. I don't know if this is place for me. I I don't want to be fat. Yeah. There you go. No surprise, mostly women.

Mm-hmm. Oh, man. What do women need to change? Well, you need a whole conference. They need to be told that they don't have to change, first of all, that they shouldn't. The best way to get women to change anything is to convince them that they, is to convince them so much that they shouldn't change. They do it out of spite. That's the only way to get women to do

How should I get a woman to work out? You have to convince her that Not working out is perfect Say it less convincingly everything Like yeah no you look No you shouldn't work out That's uh that's The patriarchy

That's you know That's not you You need to be fat You bypass all that It gets straight to the heart of the issue Yeah That's what they need. All right Let's do some voicemails

uh whoops wrong to count do do do man I need something to eat I'm fucking tired four month

sleep regression uh uh uh hey dick you need a little more editorial oversight over Johnny's brain rot what the fuck am I listening to here

just listening to a bunch of guys go ahead and listen to another guy taking shit a little giggling great show the poop dad was one of the best things I've gotten so many personal emails

people reached out to me on Instagram people reach out to me everywhere and are like it's worrying my friends and family how much I've sent poop dad to all of them now and I'm like man and I understand that you found

where he went what happened to him so I had to investigate after the show I was like man if we lost like the funniest guy in the world right now. That's why I was like, man, to watch him try and pull the sword out of the stone. Yeah. And just fucking, you know, you hear diarrhea instead.

Great. Best comedy ever. But he's on TikTok. Oh, he moved to TikTok. He's on TikTok. He had like one account there and he moved over. Like, I just Googled like, where did Mr. Poop Dad go and found it? And man.

My God, man. He's still alive. He's still pooping. Still pooping. Still, like, he's in Olive Garden in a recent one. He's pooping at Olive Garden. Dude, he's eating a breadstick in the bathroom saying, hey, if you really want to maximize your time at Olive Garden on Unlimited Soup and Breadsticks, he goes, just take a bite and then clear around right out and then go back for more. Like, just totally.

See, that brings up a good point because he's Mr. Poop Dad, right? He still has his wife and kids with him. And they're eating. That's, yeah. That's bad shit, right? Dad humor is like, yeah, I'm going to gross my whole family out, but that's because I know they love me. Like, divorce dad shit is just like, please anything for like a scrap of attention. Like, I just need to like be like escape my hellhole.

Yeah. I have no identity anymore. I got to build it out of, uh, yeah, out of whatever I see. I forget about 30 years ago. Right. Yeah. Yeah. I have to become the the guy my wife left me for.

All right. I'll look later. Yeah, we'll find it. But Dick, it's pop quiz time. I'm going to ask the question, pause the voicemail and then answer it. and then continued the voicemail for the answer. Got it. The question is, how do you go to the grocery store for one item and spend $300?

Take your girlfriend with you. Let her go by herself. Ah. That's the, that's how. Yeah, because at least if you're there, too. You can spend $150 with her there. But if you need to break a staggering amount, then unsupervised. Sit in the car.

That's Sweating, thinking about it. That's when you really want to burn cash. How do you go to the grocery store for one item and spend $300? The answer, of course, is be a woman. Yeah. Be a woman and you will somehow leave that grocery store, having spent $300.

Yeah. That's the guy who's checking his receipt just now. He's unfolding it. Hey, Dick. Hey, Johnny. Born from a not-so great wife north here. First time calling. I want to tell you a little story about my wife's gay horse.

So quick back story. All right, your audio sucks, but I want to hear about the gay horse. I need to hear about this gay horse. All right. Jumping horse. They breed. They fold. No, you got to call back.

You got to call back. It's getting worse. For the love of God, call back. You got a gay phone. Call back on a straight phone. The horse fucked your phone. Horse fucked your phone. I just got off work.

And I got to say, I got given the key to lock up. And I locked up, then I forgot something. I opened the door. I don't want to lose the key. So I put the key tip in my mouth while I go grab my tools. Ugh. On the way out, I notice, huh, my mouth is getting very numb for no apparent. You got Coke.

Ah! Ha! Ha! Ha! Oh, I know what this high is. This is mess. and I'm not a meth head but

somebody's been doing bumps with the key I call my boss and I go hey is there anything on this key you want to tell me about

that I just actually put in my mouth and may have been exposed to some weird drugs that you may have been using I have no idea what the fuck it is and he admits

he's a methad so great now I'm very slightly high on meth for the next probably hour or so fantastic that was their licking keys

I see those keys Hey This is a McDonald's Who's doing the closing around here? Can I lick those keys? Just in case? It's always shameful when you hand out Like change somewhere

And all the bills roll up And it's like wow, you know What's wrong with this one? Well, they can always understand one Like a single one But when it's like every bill you hand over It's kind of Here you go

You're gonna want to rinse these off well dick you miss an opportunity for a sound drop whatever uh with poop dad and the show has reached a new low absolutely poop dad poop dad water level low that is fucking great man

the poop dad was phenomenal he's got to call in I want poop dad to call in if poop dad calls in while he's on the toilet and just answers All our questions with the diarrhea blast? Yeah. With a joke and a diarrhea blast. You got to get poop dead to call in. I'll reach out to.

I'll make a TikTok just to reach out to him. All right, guys. This may be, uh, this may be a little broke the camel's back. I stayed for the breakup. I stayed when a stereo was. I stayed when Sean left. But haven't this guy with these videos of him shitting his brain day? With

vibrant audio I don't know I want you guys to know that I fall asleep most of the time listening to you guys talk about bullshit So you should have been asleep

by then That was at the end of the show I was like to the diarrhea shit What? Look man All I have to say is Happy New Year That was

fucking great Hey Johnny Fuck you Fuck you, Johnny. This brain, fuck this brain rot that I could do. I listened to a show in my car. You know, decent speakers, not going to brag.

I'm in the toilet bowl with the diarrhea. You can hear me. Yeah. Wow, I guess people really responded to that. It resonated. Dick, now that you're officially a dad, based with the most important decision of fatherhood, whether you're a dad that says height or a dad that says height

so highth what is that the height height height is that it no it's height yeah it's not pronounced badly height it's not like pronounced like i couldn't read it's not like a fat guy would pronounce it height cliff heathcliff hmm so third writh so jrith so jrny i got two i got two things that piss me off Okay. And they're annihilated. The first thing that pisses me off is when I, you know, I've called in before,

unless voice knows. And I hear my own voice and I take myself, damn, I sound like a complete asswear. Yeah, I was, that's what I was thinking. You sound like a real gay, straight homosexual. But, you know, I don't, you can't be told you. You got to put you up. Next time you call and you go like, hey, what's up, guys? You got to, like, you know, put, hit your, hit your diaphragm.

Like, uh, uh, uh. for a little for like 10 minutes like make a fist and put it under your under your rib cage and hear your diaphragm and you're like oh okay guys hey what's up guys I'm like to do about that the second thing is is what the fuck is it with people who park right next to you in an empty parking lot like I'll park all the way at the end because I'm not fat and I don't have a problem walking and some motherfucker will park two inches from my car and I have a subwoofer in my trunk

so I have to open my doors on my catchback I have to open my doors but shit in back so I like to be able to open my doors nice and wide and so I fucking move my car just to put fucking shit in my car so I like throw things in all the way on the one side you got to take up two spots man you're all the way

do some diagonal parking I just don't understand like what the fuck is wrong with people you got a giant subway from your car so I know you don't care what other people just think about it so just pull in two spots diagonal style. Yeah, live up to the subwoofer in the back. Yeah, yeah, exactly.

Okay, let's see if we got any more fucking poop dad. Let's see if we get the top of the poop dad. Oh, what do we have today? Oops. Fucking poop dad. That was a real closer. Okay, okay, okay, what do you got? What do you got?

Okay, so this one is a lady advertises her. business. Great. Each one of these is more understated than the last. You definitely want audio on this one. All right.

Let me try to get like the whole thing on the video here. See, just a lady, right? It appears to be a respectable licking lady

who's got like a day spa or something. Yeah. All right. I mean, I put a frost in fire. bonus. Bonus Resortempsych of the same thing that's remnant and retinery of the insinement. It's in form of metal, clasita, metal in slim, and in... I don't care how old. I feel like I'm still... Bonus razor tips? What does that mean? I, man, all I had to say with my alternate title for that was Boomhauer. I can't understand you over all that marketing jargon. Okay, so she's... She runs a nail salon.

That's an incredible nail. These are incredible nails that she's got. And they're white people. Is this Italian? It must be. Clearly it's, you know. I'm not bilingual, but I'm assuming it's her regional dialect that I'm missing on. You know, this is the shit that shows up in my feed.

And I just sigh. Well, that's the mark that for the show. Well, you know, as I've gotten older, I've wanted to, you know, you want to feel like a kid again sometimes, right? and I felt like maybe I was Charlie Brown and she was one of the adults is just Is that her? That's her.

She's hot. Like most women, until she opens her mouth. Oh, you're retarded. Oh, yeah. Oh. Hmm. Ah. Hmm.

Oh, Ka. Get a dub. Get a dub. Get a dub. Get a dub. Get a dub. Get a dub.

Get a dumb. I'm a dumb, maybe. Come on. So here's a divorce dad discovering himself. Oh, okay. Oh, Jesus. It's a guy dressed up like Madonna.

Yeah. In like a payday loan or adult skills, like strip mall. Yeah. Cuman. We, with. Come on

La It's a very shameful round This round I'm so sorry For everyone Who's watching Madonna

Alice Offly Legend Yeah I have Okay I tried to decipher But Oh come on

Man I don't think you're making fun of her I think you're doing this For real Dude He's got knee pads on Now he's climbed on to the chair at Grand Pandon He's gyrating around

Now if the table would have broken That would have been a real peak This It's like an SNL sketch Like the amount The cross-dressing quality is Like the sketch show It's like Chris Katan

Level, yeah Jesus The careful step down Don't want to blow out one of those knees He tried to lip sync that last part But messed it up Fucking This is demented

It's sick This is bad All the other posts are just as bad too He goes by Madonna Girl Dale This is tagline Oh no That's a

Alice Alice awfully official is co-lab with Lady Jessica on a new album featuring Madonna. Madonna Girl Dale on the album. Go on Dubtronic remixes.

No thanks. Now she's at a fucking Trader Joe's doing this shit, he? This was the first one that I saw. Now he's in a rascal like scooting, wait a minute, listen, the audio means it's being played at live. There.

Yeah, you're hearing the whole. This fucking weirdos bouncing around. Making a whole fucking scene in bed. Here's the description that goes along with this video. God always puts us in people lives at Madonna. My friends at my one blood love us and it was so beautiful perform at food grocery store. What? Putting smiles on people's on people faces everybody go donate blood.

with one blood dude this is like Buffalo Bill level psycho wild shit they couldn't make

that movie today right because that well they already made it yeah because there's too many weirdos yeah

like the theater would be Buffalo Bill would be on TikTok yeah you want to fuck me you know he'd be like competing with other Buffalo

bills yeah it wouldn't even be like like whoa you're Buffalo it's like fucked up. Wow. Wow. What a great criminal profile. I'll be like, oh yeah, I know that guy. I follow his TikTok. He'll be Bustelo Bill now.

Yeah, no, this one was five. He replied to his own, I didn't know you could post like this. Please bring Madonna next to her back home to North Carolina. We are making y'all proud and best memories ever. Heart, heart, heart, heart, heart. Heart. My mom up in heaven with Jesus. She is proud of us. she's not in heaven if this was what she was doing on earth yeah if that's the monster she raised

yeah i don't think so that doesn't not american that's not american she's proud of us like when she was here with us we love you Hollywood Linda mom oh my goodness wow that was a lot this person says

blood donor ew I don't want to get this person just let me die yeah kill me On the operating table. Inject air into my veins before that. Can I screen the blood when I'm getting surgery? Can I screen it for like fucking psycho, weird psycho shit?

They bring you like a dossier on who you're getting the blood from. Oh great, this guy again. Just fuck. I'd be pissed if I was in the store. Yeah, me too. Like what the fuck is going on? I'd get a leaf blower and blow her wig off. Yeah.

Where's that guy? That guy was funny. That guy's cool. That black guy. What kind of store has a jewelry counter like that? Is this like a decade is this in? I have no. Like that's what blew me away.

I was like, where the fuck and when the fuck too? When the fuck is this? It's got a wood grain layaway. What the fuck country is this? Dude, yeah. This has got to be Middle America somewhere. Middle America, Ukraine. Oh, the voice over the top is brutal, too.

Man. Yeah, that one was... How does her wig's... His wig stay on? Isn't that crazy I've been trained to use the wrong pronoun? No, it's L.A. for you. But the really crazy thing is Madonna current day almost looks exactly like this.

So I'm like... It's pretty good. It's good. I don't want to say it's... bad. I disapprove of the surrounding behavior, but it's a good okay, so this one is called, I'd shit my pants at like poop dad if I was at this

party. Okay. Looks like this guy's sitting at a table with a bunch of drinks. And he's reaching for something in his pocket. Yeah. Oh, wait, and he's got Down syndrome. Oh, it's a gun. He's got a gun. He's got a down syndrome

guy with a gun at a Mexican restaurant. Is this AI? No. This guy's just a fucking insane retard. You know how fucking fast I would have ran out of there if this assholes wave that shit around like that.

Why is no one doing anything? That's what I'm fucking saying. What hell out of there? Probably would fucking be running like the fucking roadrunner out of there. I'd be getting one of those long poles with the leash on the end.

Yeah. Oh, this next... Dog catcher. Not the cops. Call the fucking dog catcher. We need one of those poles. Yeah. So we were talking about anime. So autism and anime always ends up with this. Okay.

Every time. Seems you're all a little confused about what wolf's about. We're mercenaries. But feel free to hire us if you need anything. Anywhere from slaying a dragon to changing a light bulb. I hate it so much. There's a black guy, like really ratty beard doing an anime pose. Well, so if you go on as.

under his hat. If you go on his profile, he actually has like a whole, this is part of his IP. Oh, not more IP. I can't, Johnny, I can't take any more IP. Hold on, scroll down just a little bit. A guy enjoying snacks in his books.

Danzler, Kamahazara. Yeah, very typical anime last name. So he always pulls his hat too far down to see. So you can't see his eyes. Like an anime. That's part of their whole bit is you can never see their eyes.

But click on the fucking fat guy in the Brown. This is supposed to be their arch-emesis team. Oh, this is his anime guy? Well, yeah, so he's one of the characters in their IP. There are wolf guys, but let's just say. And he's got a bunch of like medals. He's like the tough general guy.

But look, he's got his fucking TV tray in the fucking background folded up against his wall. It was like, it was like, come the fuck on, man. And the big fake fucking cigar to like, and the cover over his eyes, you know. Yeah. It's just all so, I'm so stylistic, you know.

I'm so tired of it. The TV tray, though, that's probably, that was probably not on purpose. The rest of it. Yeah, the TV trick. The TV tray in the background is probably a mistake. I'm supposed to believe you're a military general from some badass thing. Oh, he's like the ATM. Yeah, and then you see all this dresser and all his garbage in the background.

And it's like, you know, you guys can edit your, Your Instagram videos, right? Like you can just crop it out a little bit. Just say, I have a plan. Autism and anime. If you have autism, stay as far away from anime as you possibly can. You will end up like this fucking posting a video of your TV tray. I love these guys, though.

This is great. Mercenary Wolf never die alone. Oh, they got a girl? I'm a secondary artist for the series. mercenary wolf NDA but don't get me wrong I am also Evelyn Kamahazara yeah in mine time shall be committed to enjoy thine screams from all of the nine hills I'm gonna drive off your hill today this is wolf never die alone legendary wolf is what it says

Oh The video has no sound Okay Oh here's one with sound It's a guy It's a guy wearing like a cat mask A paper cat mask Okay

Hi My name is Dana I like long walks on the beach And so this sounds like just a normal woman Let's get this black guy one more Oh Welcome yet again my rule breakers My friends

Dude why is he talking like that Look at the back in the head Hello welcome again I'm telling you man Anime is a fucking cancer Does he think he looks like the cartoon He's got to yeah It's like I look really cool like this

And it's like dog He probably looks cooler than he does normally Decided to join Wolf Maybe Thank you for the cause It's one of those things where We're gonna actually have a little bit of break This is vape on fire in his back pocket

All its animas are on fire behind him I would love to see his older brother come in And just kick the shit out of him Yeah That would be cool His mom beat his ass for doing that gay shit again That would be That would be crazy

That I would watch A black guy that really loves anime And his family's always breaking in and kicking his ass Like what are like family like Thanksgiving right everyone's getting a plate and he's standing over there vaping brooding in the corner You know you know I had to slay a dragon to get my I swear to God Yeah But man every time you can't avoid it

Oh quite a few of you said before you wanted to meet me face to face yeah I do And other members have said that they wanted to meet other members of wolf face to face so here it is. It's really simple to answer your question. Wolf is about being here for the party of the people. Besides, we're out here to try to help those who need it. When everything is said and done, like I have no idea what he's saying about anything.

Let alone wolf. So for those. Wait, so they're lone wolf, but they never die alone? Yeah. The name is lone wolf? They're, I'm telling you, man. Wolves? It just, it all sounds provocative, right? It sounds like, ooh, yeah, I guess.

This is like that order of the Black Lotus shit we were laughing at earlier. That's what this, it's the same shit. Oh, try to join, bro. Okay. Well, you last one. Okay, so this is our closing song for today. How many did you have here today? Just four. Four, all right. Yeah, that's a good. That's a good. Cool. I'll cap it to four then. Yeah. But yeah, here's our cool. I would say three, but I'll be honest with you. I need last one is always to like man you got to walk into it so this is chestnuts roasting on an open fire by anuke adawan a Thailand a guy from Thailand who likes to do covers of so oh okay cool all you rotmasters out there already know what this fucking is looks like a very handsome guy remember he's from Thailand chairs the Lord

Okay, everyone knows Beeson A little toe A little toe They're sure Okay Bye, bye everyone Durr-dur-thir-thir.

On his leg. Nailed the Christmas Nailed it Absolutely nailed it Very American Mailed messed it up But Christmas Nailed it

Nailed it Okay Goodbye everyone Merry Christmas Merry Christmas What is this That's the end of the song Dude

That's it Go home Turn the filter off Stop smiling Sassimule. What's that? It was an old, like, vine kind of app. Oh.

Get out of here, you fat bitch. All right. Goodbye, everyone. Let's see you. Oh.