The Dick Show - Episode 491 Dick On Strangest Things

Episode Date: January 11, 2026

The Stranger Things coming out scene, a bunch of Somalians do day care, two fat women ruin your day, the pivotal decision of GTA 6's pride parades, Calfiornia ruins tortillas, the billionaire tax, and Maddox accidentally turns someone gay in highschool; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!

That's what anime is, though. Just 900 episodes of talking? Yeah, but you say, da-da-da-da-da-d-de-de-de-ee. See, I can't get behind that. You can't get behind the anime talking so much? I just, it's all, because it's all stupid. Oh, it's all fucking stupid. It's all fucking stupid.

It's why it takes him so long to do anything on anime. Talking about it over and over and over again. I remember being in middle school. It's like reality TV, but cartoons. Yeah. Remember being in middle school when initial D came out, at least in the U.S. And I'm like, whoa, it's an anime about drift racing. Like maybe I'll get into anime. So much fucking talking. And by the time I was able to skip through to all the car racing scenes, there's about five minutes of cool looking cars. Yeah, and then it was like, e, like clipped in. Yeah. God, fuck this.

For a whole two seasons of a show. And I said, you know what? I think anime is retarded. Yeah. And I never look back. You need like, wacky racers. That had the perfect balance. Tons of racing. Tons of racing. Not too much. Dynamic.

Not too much. Just enough to where you never know who's going to come in first. None of this will they won't they shit. Yeah. For 900 episodes. Yeah. You could tap into any episode and understand. You know exactly who's fucking who.

And that's the way it's going to stay. Look, it's ant-hill mob or die. You know, those guys are the greatest. They've got to bring back wacky races. I guess South Park kind of did that already I guess the Red Bull soapbox derby is kind of like that Oh yeah If they did multiple

Guys on the course of the same time That's wacky races Yeah Red is Red Bull still They kind of got They kind of got their Their milkshake drankin Didn't they?

By Celsius and liquid death And all this shit Like it was Red Bull No way We're team Red Bull all day over here Your team Red Bull But they were doing all kinds of crazy stuff and then it kind of went away, right?

And now there's a bunch of other monsters there. Now it's just about like a guy pretending to smoke a cigarette on the internet. That's what energy drinks used to be like fluke-tog, you know, really kick-ass stuff. Yeah, I still think they do have some of that. Red Bull does? Yeah. Did somebody rape somebody and they can't do any of that stuff anymore? Probably.

Probably. Someone got a whole smash-up derby car shoved right in their ass, drove it right in there. just Richard Gears giant gaping asshole and someone parked it cleanly right in there you know Richard Gears dainty, just overdescribing that poor guy he's not he didn't shove anything up his ass did he I don't know he got maligned he should come is he still alive he should come out and sue like Trump him and Trump should do a joint lawsuit and he should come out and go like and I didn't stick any gerbils up my ass by the way I'm suing everybody in America that 10 bucks everybody

in America owes me 10 bucks. You all at least said I shoved a gerbil up my ass or laughed at it. You're all done. You're all giving me 10 bucks. If you don't have 10 bucks, you better go find it. Or you're getting a gerbil shoved up your ass. I want to send a Somali into your house.

Or are they Somalis. Do you believe they're doing fraud? I can't believe that. No, no, I can believe that. I was like, Somalis, the pirates? No. They're doing fraud? What? Since when?

You mean the one-piece guys? The one-piece guys are doing fraud? Who let all these one-piece motherfuckers into the country then? Aw, man. You know, wait, I wrote it down. Because I remember what it was called. The big push for Somali. Big war in Somali.

It was called Operation Restore Hope. That's when we decided we need to get into Somalia and start blowing people up. And then importing them en masse. No, we should have deported them on mass. all and then blew them all up. We did it in the river. That's what we started fucking around with skinnies. Yeah.

We got to get down there to Skinny Town. Stop fucking around and Mogadishu. Stop fucking wasting skinnies. That's what it was. That's what Tom Seizamore said and Black Hawk Down. You get extra piercing damage, though, because you go through. Skinny's a lot easier, yeah. Like one piece.

They go woo, woo, woo, woo. I'm fine. I've been watching too much smiling friends, man. I'm starting to talk like, The red guy and I'm sliding it in like just to see if anyone notices amazing you know I need to see if anyone is noticing you know and they don't so now it's just a speech impediment that I have that's tight that's tight that's one of my speech impediments is I out doesn't matter what anyone says it'll be like no that's cool Red Bull's doing extreme gender transitions now that's cool

you can tie your dick to a monster truck do a loop and then get it yanked clean off man Do you ever see Idiot Abroad where he goes to India and there's this Indian dude and he ties his dick up in like a little Oh yeah, he rolls it up and like a wood dowel and then twist it around I have seen that kind of stuff I'm like what is going on out there? I hate that kind of thing I hate knowing that we're happily giving these motherfuckers H-1B visas You keep that snake charming over there you fucking flute playing motherfuckers Don't give me none of that shit

Big news Big news. GTA 6 will have pride parades. Now, the success of the game and the future of Western civilization, of gamers, and therefore Western civilization and therefore humanity depends on the decision of one man, the CEO of Rockstar Games, who is currently locked away in his decisioning chamber. And he's going to come out and either decide. decided to have saved the human race or destroyed it.

I know exactly what you mean. And that's going to be, do we get to run over pride parades in GTA 6? If you can take a tank through a pride parade? Human race is saved. Human race is saved. Through an imaginary pride parade and kill a bunch of imaginary. Remember in GTA won, you could run over Herakrishna's.

You see those motherfuckers? Man, even in team death match, you'd see those guys going, like, whoa, whoa, everybody! Oh, man! Yeah. They're just as awful in real life, too. If you played that sound, if you hooked that sound up to your cell phone, so it would make that sound when you got a text, I would come every time I heard it,

that sound of nine guys getting quck and then garungga, garunga, or whatever it would say. I don't know if it was one or two. I think it was probably both. Those were the best ones. Yeah, the top-down ones that weren't on the Game Boy advanced. See, there's that Allen shit creeping in. He's currently, how do we lobby him? Because, you know, he's got all kinds of freaks and weirdos.

He's just got to show him the numbers. Peppering his ass, waiting outside his office. Oh, but hey, hey, hey, hey. So remember, we talked about the... We have the code, sir. They're like, it's like generals, you know, the president. We're like, ready to go to war. Sir, we have the code deployed to protect the pride parades in GTA 6.

Sir? Just want to let you know that we're ready to deploy the anti-pride parade protection. Nuke on the gamers. He's locked in there, like Kennedy. Oh, man. Man, are we going to, am I going to let people, it's going to go, you're going to go in there with like a Tesla, and it'll go like monkeypox or something. Yeah. What do you think he's going to do?

Well, that's the thing is, it's the difference between you could make this much. Yeah. You could make this much. It's more than money. It's more than money. It's about the future of the human race. Well, it's about printing money forever. Because it will forever be the game.

It's about our identities. Yes. It's about our. identities as human beings. If we let the fantastical, if we truly let the fantastical and the imaginary poison our, the self, the self, if we let the, if we let the punishments and the curative measures for who we are inside, in our own brains and imaginations, if we let this creep over into the realm of reality too far than we are lost. We are imagining our own destroyer, like Ghostbusters.

Well, you've got to think of it like this too, right? Step on a parade in my town? That would be in the new Ghostbusters. The State Puff marshmallow steps on a Pride parade. Oh. And they love it. Yeah, that would be the problem. What are you going to say?

I was going to say, it's a chance for GTA to reclaim the title. Yes. Right? Because if you think about it, when GTA3 dropped, it was like, everyone in the news, Jack, what's his fuck was all like, this is ruining Christian. Family Valley? But it was like you can kill prostitutes

in this and get your money back. Can you believe this? That was the whole outrage. But ever since it's just kind of been like oh yeah, cool like the hot coffee mod like whatever. Yeah, whatever. Now you're playing as a chick.

GTA 5 comes out and it's like, wow, that's cool. The black guy. You're running missions and doing all this other shit and whatever. Yeah. But it was not as newsworthy as it was only as newsworthy as far as people enjoying the game itself.

Yeah. It wasn't, it didn't have that controversial thing. Nothing controversial. Now here it comes. Here it comes. This is their chance to make more money than ever, any game ever made. Yeah. Like the history of gaming.

It will be the PS2 of consoles. It will be, you know, or of games, rather. But only if you make the right call. I implore you, sir. It hinges on that one thing. Yeah. Because as long as you have that, then I don't care when. else gets added.

Yeah. You just need that one little need to enjoy the forbidden fruit, right? Mm-hmm. Otherwise. You can make it once in a lifetime. Yeah. You know? Make them run fast.

Mm-hmm. You know, have those queers all hopped up on goofballs and monkey pox. Send them running. Yeah, make it so you have to play the game to progress to get a fast enough car to then. Yeah. I'm 10. And they're like, woo-hoo-hoo! Farting cum on your windshield is you're, woo-hoo-hoo-hoo, running away.

Yeah. Woo-hoo! I thought Stranger Things was great. Woo-hoo! What the fuck, man! You see, this is where... Do you watch The Stranger Things gay stuff? No, I didn't watch Stranger Things at all.

You didn't watch the first season? Nope. First season was good. Well, that's what I love about... So, like, when Breaking Bad was done, right? All my friends had a big watch party for the last episode. I went to it, watched it. And then as soon as it was over, I was like,

you guys spent all this time watching this show just for that. And everyone was like, what the fuck's your problem, man? You don't even understand my mom. I'm like, am I wasting? You don't understand. You don't understand cameras in coffee pots. You don't understand. I actually don't.

You don't understand how much we hate our dads, which is Walter White. You don't understand that, Johnny. Right. You don't understand how my dad treated me like I was a retarded, crippled American, too. Okay? Crippled American is a good one. You don't understand how much my dad wronged my mom. You don't understand Breaking Bad.

You understand having cancer. Season two, not season one, which was good, also. Stranger Things had a coming out. They're calling it the worst scene ever filmed. It was one of the little 40-year-old kids having a, right before they fight the big, like, psychic evil monster that's just going to take over the world and kill everyone. He sits everybody on the showdown, including the cameramen. He brings all them out into the scene and tells, like the caterer, the cameraman, craft services

some executives and their kids and tells everybody who worked on the show security guard security guard the guys who run the fucking porterpotties

and they pan out so it's like you starts in this it starts on in stranger things on the guy all the kids like fucking dude

they got that girl they got the little girl who was like psychic oh yeah and her thing was going like like a Darth Vader ugh right and blood would come out of her nose

oh But now she's like 40 and she's got all this Botox and plastic surgery But she's still pretending to have autism because she's like a little bit autistic you know Because he's like raised in a shoe or something on the show She was the old woman who lived in a shoe It all fucking makes sense now So now she's like speaking in speaking without contractions like commander data But it's like bitch you have your fucking lips done you have obvious you obviously shit loads of plastic surgery

You can't be fucking autistic. I can't be watching no plastic surgery being autistic. Okay? This isn't working. It's like Dustin Hoffman walks out with a boob job. It's like Wapner's on at three. Like, no, I, no, it's weird. Where did the lips come from?

Did she fucking psychically and play it the lips? That's not very 80s. It looks fucked up. That's not very 80s either. None of this is the 80s. Coming out is a big speech. So they start with the people in the strange things and the kids. and everyone's paying attention

and they pan out gradually and it starts to show like the scaffolding and stuff as the kids telling everybody he's he's gay Wait that actually is part

This is part of the fucking show Oh shit That's part of the fucking show Why the fuck? And then like Miriam Adelson is in there Like clapping and wearing and going like

Go Israel and stuff Do they have Ted Turner's corpse being marionetted by someone too Like what the fuck Dude that's actually crazy he says at first he goes

I don't like girls and I was like awesome this show is getting even better me either he's like I actually like a dick up my ass and I said whoa hold the phone check please check please and I said oh at least it's an 80s period

piece and they're in rural Indiana right so what are they of course they're going to say oh you're one of those you know F slur right we're going to get a good solid F you know one of them and his mom's like super neurotic on the show So she's going to go like, gay, you're going to get AIDS up your ass. It's, it's the 80s.

It's the 80s, remember? It's the 80s. That's the whole thing of that show. They didn't have prep in the fucking 80s. Somebody should have said that. How would they have known to have said it if they didn't have it back then? Great Scott. Marty, you have to get some prep in your ass so you don't get AIDS.

Listen, Marty. You have to put my balls in your mouth. You know what? And I watched the whole scene and I thought it's not long enough. If this should have been, this should have been the whole show. It should have been called the Hey Everyone I'm Gay Show where it's a whole episode, a whole series. Every season you think he's going to you think he's going to gear up to telling everyone he's gay, but something's always getting in the way. Oh, right. Everybody, I need you to sit down before we fight the aliens. there's something I'm important I have to tell you

and there's a big robot guy fucking him in the ass the whole time what's that big robot fucking you in the ass that's part of what I wanted to talk to you about let's fight him

you know and he's like no damn it I'll tell you next time that I like sucking guys' cocks I really need to let everyone know how much I love sucking guys' penises

before we fight the evil wizard fuck fuck I'm gonna set everybody down on my show. Hey everybody, we're going to fight the big evil wizard, right? You guys got to sit down. I got something to tell you. I fucking hate women.

I really want you all to know. What are you gay? No. I'm just sick of it. I'm fucking sick of it. But you're married. I can tolerate the one. But broadly speaking, especially you three here.

Oh, why did you need to be, why did you need everyone here for this announcement? just because I needed to know I needed you to know they should have had they should have had him come out as a hardcore white supremacist that would have been cool

that would have been that would have been provocative a little more period correct like fuck it's too early for the 80s and it's too late for 2025 television right right like that was a I remember when my

I remember in high school a friend of mine came out to me it was during a school shooting and I thought Is there a better time for the Well that's what's crazy Is like you look at actual 80s shit right? Yeah Big Trouble in Little China

Fucking de Goonies right These classic films where none of that even mattered It was just about like Hey this is just like a Whatever it's like a group of kids Yeah And they're going after the treasure It's not like

Yeah but we have to really Understand every kid's backstory Yeah It didn't matter because it was more about You don't read the book and then there's a whole fucking appendix to like every little thing that like I don't for Star Wars I don't want to read the show Bible unless it's the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles one where Krang has two do rags on I read the Adventure Time show Bible is cool they should have put in the addum bad show don't ruin this with a bunch of lesbian shit See there you go by the way should in that for straight they should do that for everything hey don't ruin

oh dude I thought I thought people were talking about It's actually I've been I've been enjoying watching it because it's just feels like normal again to watch a shitty TV show. But I thought people were exaggerating, but no, man. And then they had like the lesbians. You know how on TV they'll have like lesbians acting like quagmire? And this is like this is somehow progressive. You get like a fat looking guy.

What are you going to wear our date tonight? I'd like to wear your pussy on my face. Like, oh, God. Or you get like the classic Subaru one who's always trying to like dick with it. do the quick little like turtle whip on you and it's like what are you doing what are you doing you're like that that was weird what you think do you think lesbians are like teenage boys or something right what are you talking about what are you doing here well you know the classic one right uh would do gay horses eat what what hey what do lesbian horses eat what hey hey hey

You want Dick, you love Dick, Dick you get it. The show whereams the contest can be laugh from Mount Bunker Deep in the Huddest City Failure. Your me host, Dick Batchson, AKA the $20 million man joining me's... A guy. Fresh off his successful activity last night. Johnny, the audio engineer. Did anybody from the show come and see you? I don't know, actually.

You don't know? They snuck it in if they did? They snuck it in if they did, but there was probably 120 people on a dirty street corner last night. Ooh, cool. On a scale of 1 to 10, how did it go? 10. That was great. Wow!

It was amazing. Wow. Three different people came up to me last night and were like, you changed my life. Changed my life. Hopefully for the worst. Yeah, don't ask any follow-ups to that. I've learned my lesson there. I'm going to use it to just feel good about myself and then wish, you know.

Picture what their lives probably. Their lives probably sucked. and then you came along. And then they were like, man, now we know about this asshole and our lives still suck. Now, yeah. Wow, that guy's life sucks too.

So mine's, I guess I don't care anymore. Yeah, pretty much. No, it was great. That's great. Congratulations. Thank you, sir. I almost wore that shirt today.

That pisses me off. Oh, man. it's a great shirt hey did you know that some people here's a factoid for you can you can you close your nose

without using your hands like if you're just trying to breathe through your mouth if you're trying it's like something stinks and you're trying to not smell what stinks yeah could you just like choose to

to close your nose off like updo your nose off like I'm doing right now. Yeah. Okay. It's always for my entire fucking life, it has driven me insane that people, because I could do, okay, I could do that too. I could do that too. I thought that everybody could do that. And it has driven me fucking bonkers. Would people close their nose or go like this or blow the air, blow it away from there? So my wife was doing that baby and I'm like,

okay, okay, I finally fucking snapped. I'm like, why are you, why are you, why is You know, it's the little things. My favorite is the, like, the, the squinched face and the quick hand wave. That one always, like, oh, okay, like, ah, okay, like, but what, but I've always, it's always driven me crazy to plug you the nose. I'm like, okay, but why are you plugging your fucking nose? Like, what does this do that just this doesn't do? Like, it has to be a big fucking spectacle.

Yes, that's what it is. It's a gesture to be like. But that's, so that's what I thought, right? But then I started doing it alone And I'm like, okay, who is that for? That's what I lost. I was like, who is that for? Who was that one for?

There was nobody around. There was no one around. She's like, what? I'm like, what do you mean what? Can you just like not, just like, what are you talking about? Not breathe with your nose. And I said, hold up. Hold up.

Hold it right there. Before I, before I make a fool of myself, just hold. Please hold. And I go to Google. Like, hey, can you people, can everyone block their nose with their, I don't know how I've never had to, I've never tried to describe it because I just thought everyone could do this. Like, it's like trying to describe how to read. I don't know. I just do it.

Right. Can everyone, can everyone block their breathing in with their nose to smell like without pinching it? Right. And number one, it said, read it. My wife does, can't, says she can't block. And I said, oh, no, I clicked on it. And it was like 50-50. People can't just do that.

that's fucking crazy isn't that that's fucking crazy so now I'm presenting now I'm asking everybody can you is that have you ever asked and can you do it block the smell

you know nothing man when I block my nose off nothing getting in there no well but that's the fucked part is smells nothing you know there's times and like business situations and shit where you can't

you got a stinky ass client and you can't feel like are they just smelling it I guess fucking so But you got to sit there and just like block that shit off. You gotta block it out, man. The other way, Tayon Day style,

take, move away from the mic to breathe in a little bit. It's always bothered me. My whole life. I've never asked. It's so funny too because it's always like such this like, everyone who's doing that is not helping. Yeah. It's a commentary on you need to fix this.

But is it? Or is it? Or they really can't do it. Um. No, they expect you to get rid of the smell somehow. That's what it is. They're like,

Oh, man, this is my way of showing you that I'm unaband. Right, that's what I thought. Okay? That's what I thought. But maybe it's not the case. I think they're all. You said this guy's wife said that? Everyone's wife.

Well, that's the problem, too. Right. As soon as it goes into the wife hole, you know, information maybe comes out, but it's difficult to measure. Right. You know, information isn't destroyed as it goes into the wife hole, but it is. It is changed. It's a miasma. It is processed in a way.

That's difficult to retrieve. Okay, what do we have? What do we have this week? They fucked up the tortillas? Oh, that's nice. California fucked up tortillas? Oh, with the shit. Yeah.

Now we have to make tortillas with like anti-Mexican chemicals in them. Starting the beginning of the year. They ruined tortillas. You have to make tortillas with acid in them. Folic acid. You've got to add it to tortillas. Because that was the biggest problem among Mexican health.

Right. Is that not enough folic acid? Not that they're big fat, retarded slabs. Is that there's not any folic fucking acid. You got a bunch of fat acid. Yeah. That's... You know what?

These Mexicans, they're not getting enough folic acid. is that what makes you a big is that what makes you wider than you are tall they should make the tortillas all fucking dime sized I think the tortilla is what's causing the problem right is it you think the chain smoke

you know it's crazy too as Mexicans live longer than white people I think I read isn't that crazy well that's the thing is like you have to abuse your body so hard to a certain point that kind of like lemmy right oh it was like yo if you quit speed you're just gonna die

So just like keep doing it. I think the white people are done. Mexicans are going to have to take up the charge. You know? Once white people stop mowing their own lawns? That was it. That was it. Then the Mexicans own the lawn.

Who owns the house? Whoever's taking care of the lawn. Yep. Yeah. Mexicans understand what needs to be done. You got to send bad guys to prison. Yeah. Or kill them.

that's a basic Mexican belief oh you got bad guys you want to have to kill them another basic Mexican belief if it's your child's first birthday it's going till the sun comes up exactly we're going to have multiple bounce houses there's going to be nothing but beer we're going to use the same tables and folding chairs that we send to a new Mexican house every weekend dude the thing that always blows my fucking mind is driving through the valley and just seeing like here's a banquet hall

like so many fucking banquet halls for rent because there's so many goddamn Mexican and Armenian parties that just need. We need banquets. Why people need banquets again, dude? We need banquets. Our people need banquets. Ever since they wrote the mask of the red

deaf and everyone got all paranoid about banquets, we got to bring it back. COVID was the official banquet destroyer. Oh man. I think we're bouncing. back from that. I went to Hollywood a couple times. I went

last week for this little kids show thing. Amazing. And there was... I saw one homeless. Only one. I don't know what happened to them. I was telling my nephews, man, you guys got to be careful. There's homeless people. Yeah. You know, they're

not real. They're not people. Don't treat them like people. Yeah, you can't. You got to have a guard up. Yeah. You got to be ready. Yeah. You have to name them something shitty so you don't feel bad when you call them that. Yeah. It dehumanizes them.

Yeah, it's like the opposite for like pigs that you're going to eat. Right. You got to name them. Something that's not a human name. You got to name like a pet name. Like streaks or something. Yeah. Here comes streaks. Like that guy has a name. No, he doesn't. Not on the street. No. I have a guy called the screamer. He would just be screaming

at traffic all day. And if you made eye contact him, he'd come across the street and scream at you. Yeah, that's... That's the screener, man. Don't... Don't just look down. Don't... Don't... Don't look them in the eyes. You can't acknowledge them.

You can't do shit. Don't look them in the eyes. But I think it's getting better. That's actually good news. Yeah. Okay, let's see here. Somalians are doing a bunch of ripping everybody off. Pretty funny.

They had... Did you see that video? Oh, yeah. You saw the video where... Yeah, I'm just trying to get my kid into daycare, man. Why is that... Yeah, let me see if it's fast. I need like a 90s.

second version I'll play it. One guy, one guy with a camera, one kid, one YouTuber, one clout hungry YouTuber with a pretty face, right? One young 20s,

listen, young, if the young 20, your early 20s, those are the guys setting the course of history at the time. They don't know it. They're setting it then, and that's where it's going to go for 20 years.

The guys in their young 20s, right? They're just acting on impulse, right? That's who's doing it. And here's one such guy. The cloud-hungry YouTuber and his partner, an old-ass boom, an old-ass white boomer. I love it.

Devastating combination. That's a crazy, yeah. The guys who landed on the moon, the guys who are way into trains, the guys who had pegboards in their, you know, that they made themselves. The guys who, when they were running everything,

when they were running everything, everything worked all the time. There wasn't goof, there wasn't boats crashing into bridges. There wasn't. Everyone's cell phone wasn't getting email to everybody. There weren't criminals in, in shitholes

being handed hard drives for your data and saying here you go make sure you don't sell that to anybody that combo so that guy's research and this young 20 something kid what was his name Nick something

Nick Shirley yeah okay let me let me play this one it's pretty good it's a bunch of Somalians running empty daycares to the tune of

$100 million. She's getting paid by the retarded government, which they're going to say is fraud, but I don't see it like that. It just seems like politics to me, but whatever, it'll watch is... Hello, we'd like to ask where the money's going.

That's the Somali daycare. That's taking place here in Minnesota. I don't think anybody is enabling fraud to happen. We don't have to hold Governor Walls accountable for this. What was this money spent out? 1.26 million? What was that money spent? Do you earn any kids?

Answer the question. Are there children? There's no children inside this building? Eventually, the largest fraud scandal in U.S. history is taking place in Minnesota, as literally billions of dollars have been funneled through Somal Iran fraudulent businesses. So much fraud, it could actually almost replace the entire GDP of Somalia. These frauds have worked hand-to-hand with the Minnesota government. with the Minnesota government. Wait a minute.

Those guys were criminals? Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Much fraud. It could actually almost replace the entire GDP of Somalia. These fraudsters have worked hand in hand with the Minnesota. Those guys? No.

They looked like upstanding guys. What do you mean? So it's because you got them in these prison jumpsuits that they look bad. The government as they enabled billions of dollars to be given to fraudulent businesses underneath welfare purposes. Some of this money eventually landed in the hands of terror. groups in Somalia like the al-Shabaab and others enrich themselves all of the US taxpayers expense and in this video we will break down all of the fraud from start to finish see there's the old ass boomer yeah right he's got all the facts he's been doing this research fruitlessly mm-hmm he thinks he's under the impression that anybody gives a fuck right you know that like well I just put this information together and I give it to the government and they're like thanks we'll go ahead and shut this down right yeah yeah yeah It's not, no.

It's not fraud in the traditional sense. It's from going to the fraudulent businesses and confronting the people who are making millions of dollars from the government. And we will also be confronted with an incompetent government leaders who let this fraud happen. And to make this happen, I met up with a man who's been doing his own investigation. For years. Man, I remember when, God, I remember when this country was good. Dude, the death of Michael Turco in San Diego. I can't remember if he died or moved on.

Who's that? He was KUSI's news reporter and he would go to like oil change places and shit and see like all the fake up charges they were doing and he would expose all the fraudsters in there. Dude, there was a whole like this was a, this was a guy in every town. Every guy, every town had an old white guy that would just be a stick up your ass if you were defrauding white people. Oh dude, Turco was a beast for that. He would send, you know, like, here's just. this regular lady walking in and she'd be like, are you sure I need that?

And they're like, yeah, we need a good thing. Yeah, and he would come in, what the fuck is this? What the fuck is this? And they'd be like, whoa. We had a guy, I don't, I don't know what, maybe he was national. I don't know if he was in LA 2. He was Mike Boguslowski.

Oh. Why? That was our guy. Every town, every town had a guy like this. I can't remember if I ever seen this. In the 90s, in the 80s and 90s, um, he was Mike Boguselowski.

And I'm in, he would go, I'm Mike Bogoslowski, and I'm in your corner. And he would, same exact shit. Same exact shit. Every town had a fucking fraud sheriff that was brought to you by, like, the local news. Yeah. Who would go to cocksucker to cocksucker and just hammer them on, on this upcharging and fraudulent business practices and shit. We need to bring that back. I guess this is a start.

Well, it's too far gone. Which was my original point with this. we imported a people that have no concept of fraud. And to be fair, they shouldn't. What are half a million Somalians going to do? Are they going to go work at Panda Express? Are they going to have a lemonade stand? No.

They're here to, they're either going to steal from each other or are they going to write forms and steal from you? Right? Their only purpose here is to vote Democrat. So, I don't know, these guys, oh, look at this. Look at all this fraud that they're doing. Like, well, I don't know, man, this is the system. Like, this is the, that's the way the system works.

You just give your people free money. Like, the same way you give the military money. Is that fraud? Is it fraud that they showed up and played slap dick on the base? Hey, where's the, are there any kids in there? any war happening in there? Oh, get out of here. We're doing push-ups and playing grab-ass.

So what's the... What exactly do you mean by fraud then? What did you expect them to do? Get rid of them! If you don't like what they're doing, get rid of all of them. It's not that some are committing fraud. They have no concept of fraud where they're from.

It's for money for me. Oh, yeah. Oh, you have money? And it's for me if I fill out a form? Yeah, you got it. How many of these forms can I fill out? As many as you know you want. It's for like child care.

Sorry, I'm hearing fill out the form and get money. Is that how it works? Well, yeah, you got to say this stuff, but don't lie. Do I have to say? And where do I put don't lie on the form? This is a process, right? Let me play more of this. As he has seen the fraud firsthand, his name is David.

Let's get into this and be prepared to be shocked. How deep is this fraud here inside of Minnesota? It is far worse than anybody can imagine. You heard it's $7 to $10 billion and maybe more, and now the numbers have been revised and put out there publicly that they think it's more like $8 billion. How I got involved is that where... $8 billion?

How many women is that? And they are going back to work, dropping their kids off at daycare, right? Going back to work to make, maybe they take home is like 30%, 20, 30%, a little tiny bit. A little tiny bit left over after paying for daycare and shit. And then you got all the money that's supposed to be for child care, just getting shoveled into Somalian furnace. Oh, here you go. My office is here in Minneapolis.

I'm sort of in the heart of all of this fraud. and I would see these child care centers. I said, well, there are any kids there. It's the middle of the day. And all I see are a couple of guys standing out front smoking. And then I'd go by another daycare, and I'd see the same thing. I said, well, where do these kids play? And so I started to go online and look, and I said, this place is a pedophile.

That's what he's leaking out. They had all these kids. Zero children. Every time I went by there, they never had a single child there. Then I started to see all these transportation companies going around. And it was always a Somali driver. And I said, well, that's great. They're out there transportation contributing,

but they never had a passenger. Never ever went. I mean, I just, the good guys in this, the good guys in this are making me more upset than the bad guys. Even the way it's framed, I was driving around, and I noticed that all these drivers are Somalian,

and my first instinct was, oh, that's so great that they're helping. Like, really? Really, dude? Are you, are you so fucking buck broken? by this liberal bullshit that you have to not only did you think that you have to say it right fuck no chance

no chance that you know chance that you idiots are gonna fix this none you need Mexicans you need a fucking flood of Mexicans who don't you do not go oh you know we had a big uh how did your MS-13 fight go oh you know at first I saw a bunch of black guys and like oh you know we gotta you know be easy on these guys They could be disenfranchised members of the fucking community. There's future astronauts over here.

Oh, we shot as many as we could. We lost a couple guys. You know, that's how it went. Once. And I said, well, what is all this transportation? What are they doing? So then I found out that in Minnesota, they have something called non-emergency medical transportation. So this is going to the dentist's office, therapy, whatever it might be.

and I said, well, how many of these companies are there? And the research came back that there are a thousand, twenty of them, and more than 800 of them are Somalione. Nobody from the state of Minnesota ever cross checks to see if any rides were ever actually provided. All they did was write the check. So right here we have all this paperwork. And how are you doing this information about the fraud?

A lot of it is through my own research, and then I have some contacts at the Capitol going back many, many years. And so the data that I'm getting is 100% accurate coming directly from research done by people at the state capital. Here's the proof. Oh. Wow. Yeah.

Oh, shit. You got a spreadsheet? Dude. Yeah, man. Excel was probably the most damaging thing for the boomer race. Shit. You got a pivot table, too, in this thing? Man.

Wow, that's great. And the people in charge, you've showed them, right? Because they're upstanding guys, you know? Yeah. Surely they're looking out for my best interests and not theirs. Did you explain? Hey, did you explain to the conductor that we're not supposed to be on this train car? There must be some sort of mistake.

It's a classic mix-up. Clay kids, there's been a mix-up. Oi-Ve, there's been a fucking mix-up. Let's just grab our bag. get on the train car and by the time we get to Auschwitz I'm sure we'll get it all sorted

we'll get it all sorted out okay just gotta talk to the right guy about it we gotta talk to the right guy you know there's some kind of a fraud as being some sort of a fraud is being perpetrated here I mean

it says on the thing it says on the thing that this is for it's a learning center yeah why wouldn't it be. I mean, why would they have written something that's not the case? Paperwork right here. What are we looking at? The areas of fraud that I have numbers for are mostly related to child care. This is

massive fraud that is beyond anyone's imagination, the scope. And so, for example, there's a child care not far from here in Minneapolis that has two child cares listed at the same address and together they're licensed supposedly for 120 children. All right, all right, all right.

We get it. We get it. It's funny. It is. That is funny. It's the entire military defense

agency's annual budget. the free money that Somalians are getting to pretending. But they do, they have to go to, I mean, somebody has to go to those offices. So that's something. Somebody's in the building. Well, it's just funny because you get all the, like, you get all these liberals who are like, but look at the defense budget. And it's like, oh, yeah?

Yeah. Well, here's these people that you're so happy to protect. That's just as much as the defense budget for even more anti-American sentiment. Yeah, let me see. I want to see them breaking in. when they're trying to get into one of these places. Oh, the cops showed up and, yeah, I bet the cops had it gave them these clowns

a good talking to. Building, there were 14 of nearly the exact same businesses offering the exact same services. Right here you have a list of all of the healthcare companies. Loads of them right here. We want health care. No, it's okay. Yes, we'd like to speak about getting health care here?

No, no, no. Why can I get health care here? No, no, so wait, wait, wait, just. Oh, man. Review of surveillance, no trespassing, security armed. This is the strangest place I've ever been to get health care. Just a bunch. All right, walking around.

Well, good luck with that. I'm sure there will be a series of mean tweets about it. Maybe King Arthur can come and pull Cash Patel's dick out of his. massad horror whore's girlfriend's pussy for long enough to send a

memo around about it okay there is a there is a oh yeah wait here's here's another Minnesota thing so this is the Minnesota

flag that this is pretty funny this used to be the Minnesota flag, I think. It looked like the California one. It looked like normal Cracker Barrel stuff. Okay, this used to be the old Minnesota flag and this is now the new Minnesota flag

and this is Molly's flag. The old one looked like Cracker Barrel stuff, like a bunch of weird crap all over it you know, like people doing farm shit. Well, it's like state seal kind of stuff. Yeah. It's like, you know, that like American good old symbolism. A lot of detail.

Yeah. Right? Like I don't know what it is. I can't see what it is. You can only look at it close up kind of a thing. Yeah. Oh, look, it's got like an Indian, people plowing a field, a waterfall, and a bunch of crap on it. And then this Somalia's flag is just a star.

And now the new Minnesota flag is just a star. Huh. Hmm. Did they take over? Does Somalia take over Minnesota? Yeah, it's such a bizarre. Maybe they did. It's already gone.

Yeah. Huh. I don't know. I don't see anybody getting deported. So. Welcome to Minna Somalia, everybody. I guess so. Yeah. Here is the, here is some lady they got running for Congress in North Carolina. I try to find this. Senate. North Carolina Senate lady yeah here we go They're running this lady for the Senate in North Carolina as a Republican They figured out that since you don't have to be registered as your party you could just vote for whatever in the primary Like cute shit right except they actually did it

She's filed as a Republican and Obviously these scam artists are registering as Republicans to throw off the primaries because not as many people vote in the primaries. So they're going to vote this lady in a, is this a Nekheb? It's a retarded headdress where you can barely see the eyes through it. And then a mismatched red thing here. I don't know if this is the most inspiring picture. headshot.

If it was all white, then it would be a problem. Yeah, how come stranger things he doesn't come out? Like, I've been really interested in the Klan lately. Yeah. And them going, well, you know,

you're still you. We're all people underneath our beliefs and stuff. Every episode was in them just eating at the Pizza Hut buffet every night. Are they going to show

him having gay sex after they beat the demon? He's going to butt-fuck the demon. He should. The demon rapes him as they should. Show him getting raped in the mouth by the demon in like the opening as a kid. They show him getting...

He's got to rape that little mouth right back. He's gonna... Like predator style, you know the little face comes out? Yeah, his little face, the little demon face comes out. He's gonna have to face fuck that guy. Really show him who's gay. I'll show you gay. I'll show you gay.

Fucking crazy monster guy. Now who's gay? Like Mike Tyson. Like, like the whole. the whole reason, because I always love I love boiling it down to its simplest element. Like, what was it? Like, Friday the 13th or whatever? It's like, oh, all these murders are happening

because someone's mom didn't love them enough. Like, you fucking grow up. That's the case in a lot of... Right, and so it's like, that's always the core of it all. And it's like, what the fuck? So then it turns out this big psychic monster actually used to be a guy who was wronged so many times. And I'm like, that makes me fucking hate this whole show regardless of anything. Like, that's the core of it is a guy. who'd been wronged too many times and then he turned to this all-consuming demon like

yeah grow the fuck up I'm so tired of that kind of I forget how he got how he got wronged exactly I mean I but he's just kind of like a monster man so at that point you know go for it right but the raping the kid thing was a little much a bit much but it's just like you didn't need to I mean that was happening in the 80s but you didn't like why didn't they have a John Bonnet character I guess it'd be like there's just So many ways that you can show somebody like taking over someone's mind. You know, like, like Spock. He didn't rape everyone in their mouth on the original Star Trek.

Fucking X-Men cartoon where he did the... Charles Xavier didn't go around raping everyone's mouth with a tentacle. He did it with his mind. He raped. You know they were getting raped, but you could watch it with a kid because the kid's like, whoa, what's happening? And you're like, he's fucking getting raped in his mind. He's got a mental dick right in that other guy's mental asshole.

And you know, the actor is getting mine. They're like, oh, you know, they're acting like they're getting raped. You think it's good voice acting, but the guy's actually sitting in the boot going like this. Okay, now act like you're getting raped. It's the same sound. Yeah. Yeah, there's many. Professor X that's raping everybody with this machine.

But they got stranger things. They got the monster coming out and sticking a tentacle in this kid's mouth and like, it's like throbbing with cum. It's just, it's totally disgusting. I don't want to agree with Jack Popesek, but he's right. Well, this is so annoying too. It's like, again, here's this all-consuming God, right? Or whatever the fuck.

Yeah. And it's like, then he's relegated to having to do this gay shit with a kid. Like, really? That's, again, that's why I can't stand Christian music because it's like, here's the creator of the entire universe, right? I'm so inspired by, and then I'm going to go make him music based on my inspiration every time. It's always Imagine Dragons.

cold play or both. Yeah. It's never anything different. Yeah. It's like five minute long song. Is there any EDM that's like Christ focused rave music? Now that we've said it, it will show up in my feed. But yeah.

That'd be cool because the Baker Mats, MLK speech is fucking awesome. Yeah. Someone used. Legitimately, it's awesome. Someone used AI. Not ironically. Make Jesus's voice and then read the whole Bible as, Jesus.

Okay. Coinbase Indian shit. Oh yeah. India's foreign ministry says that their citizens are being stranded in India due to H-1B

appointment delays. What do you mean stranded in India? That's where they're fucking from. You should be the most well-connected out there. What do you mean fucking stranded? They don't want all these Indians, basically. They're like, we've got to get,

come on, man. man, you gotta get these fucking Indians out of here. India's had enough. Like, we've got all these, we got too much shitting in the street. All our stuff's falling apart. Dude, you see every telephone pole in India looks like, uh, looks like a hairball.

Looks like a thing of yarn that's just been dropped on it. Looks like cotton candy. Every telephone poll, you judge, judge a society by what their telephone poles look like. If they look like cotton candy, get the fuck out of the country. If you don't see telephone polls, then you're good.

all I want to see is pole, okay? Top to bottom. Telephone, polish, yeah. Perhaps even cables running down. A clean cable run is a thing to admire. A clean cable, a clean piece of steel. Nice cramp at the end. Ooh, yeah, that's it.

We're going to start letting people in the country that have, go look at their telephone cables, their telephone poles, I want to see all pole up and down. I want to see some suspension thing. And if that cable's going into a house, I want to see some, a steel pipe. Yeah, what happened to the linemen?

You know? The linemen, I don't know. They still exist, I'm sure, right? Have they replaced them yet? I don't know. Man, we'd be smelling curry. If they ever replaced the linemen with H-1Bs, it would be like a new one every day.

Zat! Because they love getting zapped and fucked up. Dude, they have a death wish. Whether it's a giant thing that crushes them, have you seen those like rolling temple things? Yeah, they love getting squished. Dude, I don't know what it is. But I definitely don't want

That's like Mad Max Like the Chrome Boys That's all of India Like I love I want to go to Val Haller or something They just Vishnu Hall

Vishnu Vishnu Vishnu I'm coming to see you Well the crazy thing is Like I thought about it the other day Because I was reading Some sort of ecological

Survey on something And I thought I was kind of inspired by all the African battery recycling You know they've been doing that with plastic too I looked up more stuff, and it's like, they're also doing that, all this recycling of plastic.

Yeah, it just goes to Africa. It just goes to Africa and gets dumped into a river. And then we blame them for doing pollution. Why are you guys fucking polluting all this plastic? We don't even know how to make plastic. That's tight, yeah. Well, have you seen that guy who's like, the government is after me? I've created this machine that takes plastic and converts it into gasoline. Randy Quaid? No, this is like black.

Oh, the black guy. Yeah. Yeah, petroleum. patrol ace or something He's calling it something stupid But it's like been around forever It's been around forever And it's like so caustic and like bad for you

That like that's why they're illegal do it Yeah And so he's been doing it trying to impress everyone And everyone's like oh you gotta watch out of this kid He's gonna disappear soon And it's like he's gonna die from like new forms of cancer From standing around this fucking machine For years on end

I love that guy He's great because he thinks he's really doing something and aside from poisoning himself. I mean, he figured it out. It's not, it's something everyone already knew about. Right. Or a lot of people knew about it. I'm thinking to say everyone.

It takes oil to create plastic. Yeah, plastic is oil. Yeah, so then how do you just distill it and get the oil back? It's like, it's not a hard thing to conceptualize. But you know what? He's doing something. Yeah, getting aggressive cancer. That guy is macroplastic.

Win, win. That's, you know what? Keep the cancer. You're right. We're going by my philosophy. where I could see him. That's tight. No, I thought about it.

And I'm like, dude, even if you had the world's top science, even top boomer scientists on it, right? Like old school army corps of engineering guys type shit. That guy that, that guy that's discovering all this quote unquote fraud, that's like the kind of guy that figured out how clocks in GPS satellites have to be like faster than, like, that's the kind of guy that programmed a GPS satellite with Fortran. Yeah. And he's the only guy who could do it. He's one of the last few guys who knows Fortran and Cobol. Yeah.

Yeah. And he's like, he's compiled this huge database of, quote-unquote fraud, like just not understanding, not understanding why it's happening. Yeah.

Not understanding why no one will do anything. He's just got all the results. It's like, look at the flag, bro. When you go to hand this work in at the government, just look up with the Somalian flag flying over it and think for a moment. What you have done. Yeah, it's like in Wario land, right?

After you defeat Mario, then it's like a big W who comes over your castle. Yeah, knock, knock. Hey, Mario, uh, I got this spreadsheet that says Wario stole all my coins. Yeah, he's going to say thanks. Ah, get the fuck out of here. Like, you have their fucking congressmen are, on one hand, having, like, trans kids matter. Right. Shirts.

Which is just totally full. fucking psychotic. Well, especially once I run them all over in GTA6, I mean... Are they gonna have trans kids at the Pride Parade? Oh. Man, man, man, that... I've never prayed, but I'm gonna say a prayer. It's the only Pride Parade out of 10?

That the CEO of only... The Lord hardens the heart of the CEO of Rockstar's heart, body, in his brain. Did you just smoke? a whole crowd of people at a pride event, man, that's... And I want, you know, and if all the, if all the,

if all the extremists can just, please don't do any shootings between now and when GTA 6 comes out, that would be, that would just be really bad for your cause as well. Right. For the cause of gaming

and but for your cause too, of hatred. This could either be the greatest game in the world or the worst game in the world. And this is, and this is, this is the one choice. This is like, it's when the horse

and never-ending story goes under the water and the last, oh. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh. I don't want to sink into the despair of mire, you know? I'm sinking. I'm sinking, but.

Was that what it's called the mire of despair? Swamps of despair? Swamps is some sort of awful. I'm sinking, man. Well, I'm hanging in the balance to we figure out, you know. I need G. I need G. Joe to come give me a straw. And knowing is half the battle.

So the, this cracked me up. This, the CEO of Coinbase comes out and says, oh yeah, yeah, so several people have been stranded in India for quite some time

due to their H-1B visa appointment delays. This has caused hardship for their families. Says India's foreign ministry. So the people who have... Even their families don't want them around? Yeah, that must be what he's saying.

The families are sick of hearing about America and hearing about their job. Maybe I have a video of this of this asshole. Is it in English that he said this? That'd be even funny. While we do understand

as appointments, while we do understand as you also understand that visa-related issues, pertain to the sovereign domain of any country. We have flagged these issues and our concerns of our national to the U.S. side, both here in New Delhi and in Washington, D.C.

And we hope that these delays and these disruptions will be addressed. There are several people who have been stranded for extended period of time. How do you get stranded in your own fucking country? Get the fuck out. like get the fuck out yeah get out that's a temporary visa by the way

I know that I know that it's not and that you know as soon as they get here they're just trying to pop out a kid or laterally move it to another type of another type of visa in the alphabet soup of getting fucked up the ass because of scheduling or reshudeling issues of consular appointments and these have also caused a lot of hardships to their families,

to the family life that they have, as also to the education of the children. As you... The education of the children, bro. Why aren't they being educated in India? That's where all the great education's happening, apparently. Have you seen all the fucking Indian school videos, man? It's like...

Yeah, but they're making the best IT people. So why would they want to burden their kids with our crappy American education, which hasn't... which is producing less and less gifted engineers over the last 20, 30 years. You have to see this shit to believe it. It's like a guy with a camera standing over someone's shoulder and he's like, okay, like do your test.

And he's like sits there and he types out like all this shit in Excel and like, okay, now make this column all add together. Now turn this one red. Now turn this one bold. It's shit like that. It's shit like that. It's busy work. It's look busy work.

See, look at all this computer work I did. And it's like, get the fuck out of here. Let me see the phone pulls. Oh, look at that. Looks like cotton candy. I can't even see the crossphrase. Get the fuck out. Dude, it's at the point where I've seen so many of these assholes

standing on trains and they reach up and grab the fucking cable. And then like, here's a smoking guy just falling like a fucking sarcophical. Like an anime. Xing! Yeah. No, because he's like, they reach up to like grab on. Oh, and they get zapped. Yeah.

Sometimes. Dude, I saw. on one video recently where this guy's actively getting zapped and they try to kick the ladder out and then he gets zapped too it's like come on like does no one have a fucking brain cell between

no, a jillion of them it's crazy but then we're supposed to be like yeah totally just come on like please understand and help us with this complex thing you guys uh you guys are good with customer data right? Yeah here

here's all the customer data just don't let any don't let it fall into the wrong hands. I'm telling you, every time I've had to call my bank and I get, hello, sir, this is Rachel. And I go, yep, fucking slam that shit to the ground. Like, no way. You wouldn't understand. And I think there was a communication from the U.S. government also. Your families are suffering? Bro, our families are dying. People are, they don't exist. The American families that should be living the lives that these parasites are taking at the behest of America's companies

are just, they just don't exist. They're not being made. They're dying on the fucking vine. Yeah. Well, and neither does value for Indian life. Because again, with me being fucking deep in India videos somehow, it's like, here's my grandma

who just died. Let me put like some like apples and oranges and like some money and like, and then they float her in the river. But by the time, they're still holding on to her, a swarm of people gather around and they let go with a body. They all steal everything off for and then just let the body drown and then they all walk away like, yeah, I just got a free apple. And it's like, that was on a dead body in a dirty river.

Appointments. While we do understand as. Oh, yeah, that was it. Okay. Great speech. But there's no value for life out there. Again, as evidence by all the like, let me just stand in front of a train. Let me get crushed by this thing.

Here's the line at the consulate in India. Rapping around the fucking block. Okay, here's the one I wanted to bring the, the joke. that I wanted to bring in. This is... Coinbase says we have zero tolerance for bad behavior and we'll continue to work with law... This is Coinbase.

Continue to work with law enforcement to bring bad actors to justice. Thanks to the Hyderabad police in India. An ex-Coynebase customer service agent was just arrested. Another one down and more still to come. He's talking about it like this is just an inevitability of doing business.

Like he's doing, hey, good news, everybody. We caught one. Why was one there even to begin with? The second most corrupt organization on the planet has caught one of the criminals that we gave your data to. You know, good things are ahead. Like, why did you give our data to India? Why are you relying? where are you relying on a third world law enforcement division?

Our law enforcement sucks. It's not great. I have to imagine that theirs is... I have to imagine that theirs is so bad they don't even have a term for corruption like we do. No, it's to the highest bidder at any point in time. I bet that bribery is a function of law and the place that you're talking about.

Well, because that's the thing is you're always trying to come up out there. So to them, it's like a... Like, oh, it's a good day. I just came up on all this extra shit. It's clever. I stopped the bad, yeah. Yeah. I took a little,

I got a little something for myself. Yeah. Hey, I got a cut of this. I stopped a bad guy and I got a little sum for. If you're going to stop bad guys, why not get a little sum for yourself? Makes sense, right? I stopped the good guys too. You just stop everybody.

The way he fucking phrases it. Thanks to the Hyderabad police. An ex-coin-based customer was just arrested. Another one down and more still to come. Why is more still to come? Because you did this. You fucking. everyone over. Yeah, way to admit a massive fucking security breach, retard. Like,

it cost them like half a billion dollars. Good. It should cost them. It should cost them their lives. Um, the billionaire tax, the billionaire tax is, is getting pitched in California. Good. Yeah. Fuck. Silicon Valley. They're fucking terrified. Good. Um, they're the ones who got us into this mess. The CEO of Reddit said this. We're absolutely going to have. to figure out how our society adapts to a rapidly increasing wealth gap because it's like it's like five percent of unrealized gains or something which is their stocks yeah so they they get a billion dollar valuation and they got to pay 50 million on that fuck them because seriously oh oh absolutely fuck them it should be a 20 percent fucking tax because again this asshole CEO like oh there's going to be a

huge wage or wealth gap. Like, yeah, we gotta figure out how our society adapts to a rapidly increasing wealth gap. I hope all your Reddit Janney's come to your house and murder. It will be required to preserve our republic. Bro.

But the answer is definitely not taxing unrealized gains. Whoa, whoa, whoa, guys, guys, guys. The answer to everything up until right now has been fucking over the middle class

and fucking over the people who had money to pay. This is the same guy, Alex O'Hanian, who said that everybody's an immigrant, Trump's a fascist, and that Obama, he hosted an AMA with Obama. Obama's the future. We've got to get Obama

in for net neutrality and for health care. All the, every, up until now, all of these cock suckers, all these billionaires have have either sent jobs they send all the jobs to India, every single one of them.

They've de-platformed. Anybody who's spoken out for like, you know, protecting people who actually have to work. And they've they've cannibalized,

not cannibalized, they've destroyed every like normal job. Like Door Dad. They target they target people who have normal jobs like restaurants we're gonna take

we're gonna go ahead and take 20% of your door dash order that's your directly caused for like the bottom of the base to the bottom of the barrel like oh I gotta get in on all these hustle gigs

before everyone else and it's like wow you went from everyone having normal wages to like everyone's fucking destroyed living living tip to tip because some shithead in fucking Silicon Valley

which is like its own insulated little bubble and it was like, oh man, a scooter that you could just rent will totally be perfect out here. Surely the whole rest of the world needs this too. I wouldn't mind if that goofy shit just stayed up there and it got to be a little future fun zone experiment kind of thing. Like whatever. But now that everyone's like, wait, you're going to, and it's like, yeah, this is what we've been getting this whole fucking time. Now it's, now it's not, it's no longer, oh you make you pay for health insurance well you can

subsidize poor people right you got enough money for that now when it's turned around and it's finally time everyone's tapped out I'm fucking tapped out every fucking person is tapped out now it's finally time to come to their

imaginary money right oh you guys are doing all these you guys are always announcing big valuations yeah they're so out of it too you sold 10% you sold 5% of your company for $5 million so your company's worth $100 million. Okay, well, give us, give us, uh... Yeah, if it's really worth that much, then.

Yeah, give us 5% then. I mean, that's what you guys do, right? That's what they do. That's what you're making, imagine, you're making all this imaginary money all the time. And they're all freaking out. Good. Like, with...

Put so much pressure on them that they fucking... Take it. Yeah. Make it national. Fuck them. Uh, every single, every single opportunity. Oh, yeah. They have fucked over normal people.

They deserve it. They look at us like, what's wrong with you guys? Yeah, and they turn out just total dog shit. Tired of fucking AWS-based apps. I'm tired of having fucking apps for everything. I'm tired of apps for everything. I'm tired of these fucks giving their personal story

about how they were in the hot tub, playing around with their wife, and came up with this amazing idea to prevent, you know? A breath holding contest. They were having a breath holding contest with their fucking wife in Aspen and it suddenly occurred to them.

What if there was an app that would route that would route your kids through India? Dude, that was what the bulletball thing was about. That guy who was like, well, I was sitting at the table with my wife and I fucking was playing with the cat ball and decided, you know, we need some rules for this. Yeah.

I love bulletball, man. That's the thing, is now with all this fucking slop coding bullshit, now it's like, yeah. Well, I invented this AI that can send you text to alert you whenever you need to do important things. Tax it. Yeah, well, tax it. Kill whoever thinks that they created something with AI. And then also, like, just set an alert in your fucking phone.

Write it down on a Post-it note. Like, how the fuck did people even get through their days? They're putting acid in the tortillas. They put acid in the tortillas and insaney thing. but you come after their imaginary money and all of a sudden it's it's not like they're gonna stop they're addicted to making apps

it's crazy dude I can't think of anything worse than when someone's like hey you gotta check out my app perhaps the one thing I could possibly agree with Maddox on is the appification of everything it's like I don't want passwords for everything

why does every like I went to go check a menu somewhere recently yeah and it's like Oh make sure you get our app And I'm like I'm not getting it app

To check out your fucking menu I know Like what why are you Why is everyone always trying to steal Our fucking information with apps Dude I don't get it All right Here is

Look the only app I want Is a fucking Chili's triple dipper all right And that's technically three of them Oh yeah okay Here is oh man The rain has been crazy Did it drown all the homeless people? No.

Again. Damn it. They've managed to escape. I don't know how. God damn it. I think I lost a page. Here's a judge that said you can't ban toxic food dies. Make him eat a whole gallon of red 40 to his dough. No, it's not a him. It's a queen. Well, someone's coming after her hot Cheetos.

Oh, hell now. You've got to ban my hot Cheetos. Man, the newest craze has been the, what they call crack balls. What's a crack ball? It's like you basically make like a cheeseburger into a ball and then coat it with like crushed up Cheetos and shit and then fry it. Wait, wait, wait, say it again?

So it's like a little cheeseburger ball or like whatever meat? A hamburger? Well, just like the meat and cheese. Yeah, okay. And then like coated and like breaded and fried but then rolled in hot Cheeto dust too. Oh my God, okay. And then you can buy a plate with like four of these fucking things for like 50 bucks and it's like

kill everyone involved. shit's too expensive for a fucking cheese burgers rolled in I think it's going down though I got eggs

this weekend there were like four bucks that's cool dude and I think meat's coming down too I got steaks and it was 10 bucks

a steak dude I paid 380 for gas today that's good that's great that's good for us that's great

yeah yeah yeah yeah it was seven for a while so I'm like I know man I think it is getting better dude again

bunch of crunching the store again yeah fucking you know some things aren't getting better we gotta fucking get rid of these people man if we get rid of them and again bring back one road soda one beer

one road soda and none of this IPA 5,000% bullshit no IPA okay I'll give you okay no IPA on the road it's got to be a regular beer

it just has to be like a fucking it's got to be a silver can or nothing. So I'm taking my IPA in a silver can container. That's fine, yeah. As long as it looks the part and you're not causing chaos, that's kind of the crux of the core of it all.

It's just, it's funny to see, it's funny to see these people talk about all the Somali fraud and act like, I don't know, and think they're going to solve this problem without being racist. Because, like, racism means, when the government's involved, racism means disparate effects. So if you hired people and you happened to have not enough black people, that's racism.

So if you ban, if you arrest a bunch of fucking Somalians for fraud, you got yourself a racism there. I'm sorry, but according to the law, you got yourself a nice heaping, helping of racism. So you better, so you better lean into it. If you think you're getting out of this without a little clanhood getting drawn on, uh, think again. Well, that's like, and why I think it's so funny that you get people who are like, can you believe the military defense budget and all these people that they're killing?

And it's like, yeah, well, there's an equal amount that could have been going to American citizens, but is not, or, you know, just like the embedderment. Yeah. But no.

And yet, that for them trying to do this outrage, it's like, all right, then which is it? Like, what do you want to say? to do guys.

Okay. Let's see. Here's a lady crying about health insurance. I don't care about that stuff. Okay. Good luck. Fetty Josh says she's hot.

That was a line of, and then you said like most women until she opens her mouth. How does Johnny do it? Mental unwellness. Homie says, hey Dick, check out this guy who kicks himself in the balls with a robot. Oh, yeah. That sounds awesome.

Saw this one? Saw this one already? Not much leaves my rot, chamber, but... I saw a billionaire posted an infographic explaining how a billionaire tax on unrealized gains is going to stifle innovation. And I'm like, you know, the Bolsheviks killed... They killed half of my family tree.

Like way back, the reason why one of my ancestors just came over because the Bolsheviks revolution happened and they killed uh they killed everybody in his family burned his farm down except for him so he left came to America and that's like my my mom's grandfather. That's also how my mom's grandfather ended up over here too. Uh I don't think it was because they didn't have the right infographic. Right. Hey the Bolsheviks are here to take our farm. Oh shit. Hold on. Let me get the infographic. See this this infographic says if you take our if you take farm for private, look right here.

See the second part of the infographic that's you take in the farm by killing, by murdering me and my whole family, except for my one son that hid. And then this next one is famine. So, I mean, really, are you sure that you wanna be, this next one is reducing the efficacy of capital distribution?

Now you don't wanna be responsible for the reduced efficacy of capital distribution, do you? Right? Imagine being a fucking Bolshevik With an automatic weapon that the IRS Has authorized you to execute billionaires And some fucking idiot

In his $10 million dollar San Francisco apartment Is showing you a fucking infographic About his apps. Oh yeah, it's... Hey, did everyone see this fucking infographic about the... efficient distribution of capital? I did actually.

It made me want to kill you fucking more. Right. And the thing I've learned from not only stats class in school and again from a great book is that anyone trying to show you stats is absolutely lying to you. Did you, do you remember the, when, when Biden was around? Do you remember when they got 90,000 new IRS agents and the first videos were of them at the fucking firing range? What do you think was, where were you

on that one? Uh, Richie Rich? What did you think that was for? When you were hosting Obama's AMA, what did you think the end game was? This. You're about to live in it. They're upgrading the Securitrons, man.

We're going to go from ice? Straight to the IRS. Oh, shit. You guys are shutting ice down? Well, you got any jobs? the IRS. Yeah, but you gotta go around killing billionaires. Really? That's a job

I'd work for free, yeah. I mean, there's no point in doing anything else. I'm already taxed to fucking death. You took the houses. I got nothing else to fucking... gave them to Somalians. Yeah. And I don't give a shit. I know who, I know who the first people were that fucked with me, though.

And they're right over there. They're the ones that... They're making infographics. They're making fucking infographics. They're banned everyone's fucking account. They didn't say a goddamn thing about it. Hey, buddy, knock, knock. IRS, I got a bill for you. 500 million bucks on unrealized gains. Oh, you but see, unrealized gains, it's actually, uh, it's actually the valuation of, uh, so do you have it or not? So do you have it or not? Do you have the $500 million or not?

They should steamroll him with a real steamroller in public just as shit. He's, one of these billionaires is fucking resisting her? He's being. a real pain in the patoot, you are authorized to neutralize that pain. That's how it's fucking works, dude. Why do you guys think they had guns? You know? No one thought of that until... They're too busy writing books on how inspiring and smart each other are.

With no arms. Peter Thiel's the smartest fucking... Peter Thiel's the smartest fucking guy in the world. He made a database. He made a... Him and Alex Karp made a database of all the racists. It's called, wow, wow. A database?

Yeah, it's a fucking spreadsheet. It's got all the database. It's got all the racists on it. That's so fucking stupid. I hate all this shit, man. I love watching them squirm. Yeah. Try, like, desperately.

What about an infographic? You know, they're coming for you next. No, they came for us a long time ago. Yeah. And you. You helped. That you sent them after us. You guys think you're at the beginning of the movie

when they start coming for people. This is the end where the people who fucked, the people who helped first get hanged. It's the end of the movie. After everyone's already fucking dead and the monster turns on the guy that tried to control it. That's the part of the movie. You guys don't understand

because you're all into apps and computers. But if you were looking at this from a narrative structure, Frankenstein's Appster. You're, yeah. You're actually, see, Frankenstein was the name of the guy. Oh, right. His app is the monster. His app is the one that killed him.

Ah, it's great. It's just great. Hitting people with C. Frankenstein was actually the dog. That always... And they're all banning together. We're going to primary them. Oh, okay. you go ahead and explain to

explain to you know who how they don't deserve your money I don't think they're going to listen I've been trying to explain that to them for 30 years yeah didn't work good luck I've showed him plenty of infographics

why don't you guys just get a job this is 1995 why did this much get taken out of my first paycheck how about you guys get a why don't these people get a fucking job dude the first paycheck tax pit is something I'm still scarred over.

So what percent of what for meta? What? What? You mean I worked at McDonald's for all this? For 30 bucks? My pay was actually $3.50 an hour? Fuck this shit. Why? Well, because we gotta help all these. No. We do not.

You got to pay in. This is 1995. They can get a job. Like me. A kid. Well, they don't want to. They got to get a job going back to their countries. What are Somalians supposed to do? Are they supposed to become plumbers and stuff?

They can't. I can't think of a single thing good from Somalia. So it's like I just imagine like you just sit around in a lot, like a rust server all day. I'm like, I imagine that's what it's like living out there. They're doing the thing they know how to do, sit in a room and drive around. Yeah. That's it.

The two skill trees. That's it. They're maxed out. Yeah. What do you want him to do? There's only so much cigarettes you can smoke in front of a kid. You want it to be less frowned? Steam all that shit.

Oh yeah, okay. Check out this robot. Kicks a guy in the balls. Okay. There's a guy. There's a guy in like a motion capture suit and there's a little robot guy standing. They're doing like kung fu stuff. What?

No, is that real? No, it's got a little thing on. it says Zoing sunlight Zeon sunlight. That's gotta be fake. Get the fuck out of here. I hope it's not but I definitely laughed when I there's no way that's

real. This is fake. Yeah that's fake. Because look look look. Because he's doing different steps. Yeah. Yeah that's get that fake shit out of here. I don't believe you. Now if he

had some sort of code where all it did was like lock on to you and then go try and kick you in the balls you like close a door and it's trying to kick the door down even what if you could hack the robots like the road signs yeah how you get like they don't

they like password the road signs if they do it's like one one one yeah zero zero zero zero so when the government gets the robot the little balls like in China that go around zapping you you could just go like program it to kick people and they're nuts it's just river dancing right on your balls

that'd be great I'd buy that robot guys we're on top of this we're all trying to figure out how your customer data got in the hands of Indian criminals Dick I just had an idea right so I'm on this show with this guy

and we're talking about apps and what if we made an app that does infographics that way you don't even have to think about it you can just Chin it up I bet they did use I bet the guy did it's Gary fucking Gary Yan or Gary

Gary Tang Whatever the fuck his name is God damn it The Y Combinator guy I just hate that like Well I had this idea So like that fucking I made this really mundane thing

You can already do I find it Oh yeah And Chimath Fucking Rahaipima Petalmon Also did it They're all banding together

I can't find it Oh NTC 88 An amazing Bustillo Bill on fire Johnny That was the Madonna guy

Andrew says Hey Dick you're right As soon as I heard The Southern Black Lady On the end of the phone I knew it was gonna be a good call She got everything done fast And made me feel like a champ

And then he sent me a picture And it said Rate your customer service experience With Laquita What's the name? Black Lady Absolutely Yeah

Dude every time I've dealt with Southern black woman On the phone Whether it was for insurance reasons Bank whatever Yeah

It's always the shortest phone call. Yep. But it's always so polite, very helpful. Just like, hey, I had a question about this, blah, blah, blah, blah. Oh, okay, cool. We can get you sort of here, call this number, blah, blah, blah,

done. And it's like, oh. Huh. Just perfect. Like, how was that so quick? It's like, it's such a rare event that that happens. It's almost kind of like, now I almost want to have a reason to call again.

Because I want to upgrade. I just want to experience something that fucking works again. Give me Southern Black Lady service. Right. Not a white glove. Give me Southern Black Lady customer service. Well, because she's been in the, that position and is dealt with it.

So she knows how to just like, oh, this is what's going on? Cool. Just do this. Do this. I got you here. Hey, Dick, check out this king. This is from Armis. All right.

Something from hoops with two S's. NBA star Gilbert Erearness. Does this say Ereanus? Opposed to his girlfriend with a $400,000 ring. Come on, man. Where the fuck is the NCAA on this shit? Mm-hmm. They gotta send somebody out, like Dolomite.

Slap that ring. Slap that credit card out of his hand, a young man. You know what, dude? Booty tank, send him out there with his belts. Get the, put your fucking card away. How dare you sell this up-and-coming black superstar, a $400,000 engagement ring? You ought to be ashamed of yourself. Whip his ass out of town.

Man. You know? That's fucking bullshit. What happened to like the black, like, I mean, there's I saw, I'm sure. but the black superhero where he's basically just like the protector of the hood. Yeah. Just like a, oh, but it's like shaft, right?

Yeah, but protecting this fucking simping shit. Yeah, fuck that. What the fuck are you doing? Three grand tops, two or three. That's pushing it. And then they broke up eight days later. They eventually made up and he faked a relationship with her for a few months so he could switch the ring out with a fake version.

She sued him in. lost? How do you... When my girl and I broke up, I was like, that was a fucking waste of money. I want my $400,000 ring back. So I had a fake ring made to switch it out. And then I called her and said, hey, babe, I miss you. I want to

make things right. Wow, smart. I faked a whole new relationship with her for about four months. Wait, what did you want to make right? For about four months just to earn her trust and get close enough to make the swap. After I got the real ring back, we broke up again. Then she started

going off on social media, claiming she made $500,000 from me to show her I'd... Who the fuck would buy that? Who would buy... Well, and like... A used $500,000 ring. Yeah, it's the most rapidly depreciating asset in the whole...

Once you buy a ring for that price, you're lucky to get $5K out of it. To show her I didn't lose anything, I posted the picture with the ring. I mean, you should have not posted anything, but whatever. She checked hers and realized, it was fake. That's when the lawsuit came. She claimed I robbed

her and she wanted the ring back. Is this real? But I had already sold it and used 100,000 of the money to pay my lawyer's fees. He sold it for how much? Is this real? Oh my god, dude. Look at this monster he was dating. It looks like Laura Lumer.

What the fuck, bro? What the fuck, man? NAACP should be on this shit too. What the hell is this? It looks like Squidward. Squidward and drag. Look at these horrible tips.

Holy shit. Why does it park bench? That looks like a dress, but it's actually red tape. They use the kind of constrainer all in there. Uh, very unflattering dress. Very unflattering position, too. Uh, okay, well, good for you, King. Doug

Vice says Hey for a fat watch For Weight Watchers Do a silhouette game But instead of Identifying a model Have it be of a model

Or something else Like what's this silhouette of Test Holiday at the beach Or Snorlax Or C Or C Johnny eating a plate of lasagna What is this

Tess Holiday or Snorlax I'd have to like hunch over And like Do a really Yeah I do like lasagna You know It could be all

Snorlax is this test holiday or snorlax and just do A or B, A or B. Just put the jinx lips on it. Yeah. Because Snorlax can get into some goofy positions. Snorlax would at least get up and walk around at one point. Yeah. Sure, you had to play a little gay-ass flute for him to fuck off.

You had to play some fucking flute for him, but yeah. Wait, is that that's just like the map of Libreia? I never caught a snorlax on Pokemon Go What is this? Does snorlax evolve into something? What the fuck? The fuck is this? It looks like an Alika-Zam snor-lax.

Al-a-Snor-Lak. He'll really put your shit to sleep. What? I feel like that's a fucking made-up one. Who the fuck is this? Mega-snor-Lax? No. Is that fucking...

Is this real? Mega-snorlax? Holy shit. I've never felt older than right this fucking second. Mega, oh, it's not an official. Get this shit out of here, Google. Fuck you. No wonder.

Because I was like, I can't be that out of touch. Like, Jesus Christ. Man, thank God for the Japanese. They don't do that kind of shit. Snorlax doesn't interrupt a fight to explain that he's gay. It's at episode 900 when they're about to reach the final boss. I got something I got to tell you guys. Meowf says it.

That was when my friend in high school came out to me. There was a school shooting. You know, we weren't in it. It was just happening. And we were hiding under our desk. And he's like, hey, I got to tell you something. I'm gay. Did you say, get the fuck out from under this desk?

F? Is now the time? Yeah. Did that happen a lot in World War II, you think? People are like storming Normandy, and there's like one guy in every boat going like, hey, everybody, I got to tell you something. I'm actually gay. Right.

In every boat. Because what are the odds, right? There's odds that one of them's gay? Mm-hmm. Hey, everybody. Now that I've got you all here on this, where we get to Normandy. I feel like that would be prime cause for just everyone to turn around and shoot him, though. That's an insensitive way to treat gay people.

Like, they're so, they're so narcissistic. They would need a big, like, presentation about how they're homosexual before they're, fighting a demon? It's the Kevin Spacey move. Yeah. Well, you know, it's just that... Kind of putting me off my game, man. I don't want to think about you having ass...

Having butt sex. Gay butt sex when I'm fighting a fucking demon. Putting you asses together? Like, fucking creeps. Are you a top or... Like, don't answer it. Now I'm just thinking about that. Kevin Gay...

Kind of fucking up our whole thing here. Everyone slept for like 10 minutes. Talking about who's gay. What if you're like, wait, it's actually the monster that's gay? And they're like, yeah, the monster's gay, fuck him. And they all band together and kill him for being gay. That was gay, too. Shit.

Well, it's crazy, too, is they put like in the Goonies, right? They put an insane retarding. The Sloth was gay. He stopped everybody. He wasn't retarded. He was just gay and freaking out because he's so neurotic about telling everybody. They took his copy of Sonic 32X away. He was trying to say it.

There's the other thing they did in Strachian Things, too. They're like, whenever they talk about something serious in movies now, acting is, like, just, like, stuttering and getting all verclamped about everything. Nobody can string a sentence together. So instead of going, like, I can sit you down here, I'm gay. I'm, uh, you know, I like, uh, weeners. I like, uh, see a guy, and I'm like, what's his weiner? What's going on?

Let me check out that weiner. Like, you guys feel about, uh, uh, uh, uh, women's vaginas and they're like, oh, no, ugh. What if a guy sat down and was like, I'm straight? Like, ugh, gross. I don't want to hear about that shit now. I love pussy. That's what he's going to sit down and go, hey, everybody.

I love kissing women and telling him I love them. And I love playing with their pussies. Like, Jesus Christ. And who are you gay? This is a little much, I think. This is a little inappropriate. I think. Much before we go down.

Your mother is sitting right there. You're talking about how much you love pussy. Fuck. Totally inappropriate. Totally inappropriate. What do you think this is a locker room? I just got eyelid tats that say eat pussy on them. And I go around like this all the time.

Did the billionaires fund, did they ever give any money to somebody that fucked me out of property tax? That's what I want to know. If the answer is yes, string them up. Oh, guaranteed yes. Guaranteed. Every fucking single one of them. All every single person at every single person,

at every single billion dollar company donates to Democrats every single one every single fucking one maxed out their donation to liberals they get in and say

well you know what we got to tax regular guys tax a shit out of them just fuck them you know fuck them real good and hard rape them like that alien monster we're gonna rape them like that kid and stranger things that you guys made

oh yeah good good good and what are you gonna do with that money are you gonna give it to black people sort of I'm gonna give it to a couple specific black people my friends yeah I mean yeah so yes

awesome awesome we're gonna put that on the front of Netflix it's gonna be hope for change or whatever so radical and inspiring so fucking radical are you gonna get to a bunch of gay people black people you're gonna give that you're gonna give Dick's money to a bunch of gay black people like yeah I mean

we're giving it directly to Obama so yeah yeah and his buddies, I assume they're all... Wait, well... Where either black or gay, yeah. Okay, so gay people and black people? Yeah, kind of. If there was not a single Camaro I Rock Z

in Stranger Things, then that's fraudulent from... That's the only thing... No, I think there was. Okay. But that guy turned out to be... They had one cool guy. It got all... It's just all women now.

They slowly introduce women, and then it's just women talking. The whole show... Every single good show is a slow introduction of women and then it just becomes women talking. Like a whole show of Wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow.

Here's the view in front of a monster backdrop. Now here's the view in front of this. Dude, I am legit going to invent something that blocks the sounds coming out of women on the television. I don't know how, but I'm going to do it. I'm going to use AI.

And then I'm going to use AI. I'm going to be a billionaire. That's a good app. Now, if you have a convincing enough infographic, I think you might be on your place of VC. I really want that guy's fucking infographic. I can't believe that. What an asshole for that.

Maybe it was this one. I know I posted it. This billionaire tax is a tax on unrealized gains. Yeah, no shit, dude. A unicorn startup founder becomes a paper billionaire at around $5 billion valuation. At Y Combinator, we average two to four per year. Well, they're all going to get raped.

Uh, sorry to tell you that, Pallio. This will kill startups and innovation in California since a founder is illiquid while instantly on the hook for a hundred million bucks. Well, it sounds like a you problem. If I don't have property tax, I lose my fucking house. No matter how illiquid I am. Yeah. Sounds like a you fucking problem, dude. You better sell that fucking money.

You better sell that fucking steak then, bro. You got to sell, sell, sell. They're like, can you believe this money hoarding scheme we've been doing this whole time is coming to an end? We all have to make sacrifices Especially them now. It's your turn. You know? We all got to make sacrifices To make sure that all the criminals are getting As much money as they need as they want Sweet corn season sends me this

Oh Steve says Merry Christmas to everyone except veto Sweet corn season sends me this link to brick suit. I don't know what that is is. Let's see what you got. Perhaps it is a woman alert. Yep, I knew it. Woman alert. I knew it. I knew it was a woman alert. I knew it. Seattle, man, yanks, female police officer out of her car gets in and drives off. Oh, okay. Well, how hard does she fight? So that's the guy. And straight to the ground she goes. A guy, what guy? Is this like a Subaru lesbian car? car that she's got? No, it's one of those Ford Explorer ones. And then she goes, this is a classic classic idiot move, right? Trying to pull on the door handle. Trying to pull on the door handle. That's the funniest. Stupid. Dude. I mean, way to show how stupid you are. It's like when you smash

your glasses, just don't, don't try and put them back on. Don't try to grab it. Just go straight to the store. Yeah. The second you put them on and one of them's all, you just know that you fucked up. Like people that drop a glass and they try to start cleaning it up. You know, stop, stop, stop, stop. We get a broom, we sweep it. It's a whole thing. You know this. You know this.

You don't have to do this. Don't do this. Just close your mouth like adorable person. I've never questioned myself like that before. Wait a minute. I'm going to start questioning that too. Can they do it? Have I been judging people?

Like Jesus instructed me not to? I only judge people. Uh, man, okay, so she goes for the door handle, like a totally amateur. Damn. And then she's pulling out of like Fred Flintstone. Wilma! And then he took off in the cop car. Wow!

Which makes you wonder, why the fuck wasn't her door locked in the first place? Then he would look stupid for trying to open it. Yeah, why is she there? Just casual, like, oh. It was like an F1 pit stop. Yeah. Where they pull you out? Can you send a car to my location?

Wow, that's cool. This is the end. Oh, this is the end of a pursuit that started on 85th. A WSP lieutenant contacted a pedestrian that was running across the freeway. The pedestrian pushed her down and stole the patrol vehicle. A pursuit ended and finally came to an end in Linwood. Wait, is this the... Lynnwood, there's two Linwoods.

I always think it's the wrong one. I'm like, where the fuck? Because there's no trees like this. How far did this fucking asshole drive? Like, holy shit. I guess, I guess we got to learn to embrace the,

just kind of the fun silliness of having women in law enforcement and firefighting. They appointed a female lesbian firefighting chief

in New York City who's never I wrote it down she never been a fireman I think was the was the only one problem only one problem she's very gay she's the even she's the gayest

butch lesbian um I don't know if Mam Dami is he gay There's got to be with a name like that. Yeah, because they, I guess they have this idea that, like, butch lesbians are men somehow.

I don't know, but they put a... You just got to do a convincing enough New York Italian accent. Hey. New York. I'm just here to put out the fucking vise. I'm here to piss on the fire like I had a dick. Oh. You're telling me this bitch who doesn't know how to use a hose.

It's supposed to be the fire chief? Mamdami celebrates appointing the first gay FDNY commissioner Although she never served as a firefighter He says she's confident that won't matter A trailblazer A trailblazer for the LGBTQU community Who will serve as FDNY's first openly gay

Commissioner Wait so she's supposed to be fighting fires Why is she blazing trails You know who else Had a first openly gay fire lady who that would be Los Angeles

and do you know what happened oh shit that's right vaguely LA burned down that's right I mean I remember that but I just like I wasn't sure about like

if you were talking about specifics leading up to that that's what happened yeah burn to the ground uh well the problem is or maybe the solution rather

is I don't I wouldn't give a fuck if New York burned down though Yeah. There's nothing of value out there. Yeah. Okay. Thanks, sweet corn. Cade. I had brain cancer.

Oh, God, we forgot to talk about the bonus episode. I had brain cancer through all of high school. So I don't even consider myself the same person after the brain surgery. It's a nice scapegoat to have. He's saying this in reference to Maddox's extremely bizarre story. from the bonus episode. God! It feels like a lifetime ago

that we watched that. Dude, that shit had me laughing. I couldn't stop thinking about, man, what's this guy's deal? Just calling me gay. All I did was stick my dick right in his ass while he was just bent over.

Like, what the fuck? Like, that's the funniest. Like, can you believe that guy? It's just like the sincere, like, what's his problem? Matt, the story on the bonus episode that we did. did. We went over some best

debate. Yeah, we went over some best debate clips. And Maddox tells one of these stories. One of his classic, one of his classic stories is stories told, stories told from the idiots point of view. Like usually stories are told

about idiots. Right. You're like, you're never going to believe this guy on the freeway, he's driving the wrong way, he got out of his car, and he had no fucking pants on. And he starts screaming, right? And I never realized how unique like we all know that Maddox just tells these retarded stories

and people say he's just lying but he's not he's not quote he's not just making them up yeah they're based on something parts are made up when he starts floundering he starts making shit up but the whole thing is not made up

what makes Maddox's stories unique is that they're told from the perspective of the idiot it's the guy who was driving on the freeway who got out and for some reason he had forgotten to wear his pants that day you know, from his point of view, it is a linear story, but unless you slow it down and point out the decisions that were made, it seems, it resembles of normal, it's like a skin walking story, it resembles a normal story, but it is perverted and strange. In such unique ways.

So Maddox says that he, he tells this story about how, and he's bringing this up to show how repubric, homophobic Republicans are, They're the actual gay ones. They're the actual gay ones. They're the closeted, repressed gay ones. Right. And his story is that he was in high school and he quote, he wasn't paying attention.

And he accidentally walked into somebody, bumped into somebody who was getting a drink at the drinking fountain. And the guy spun around and called him the Fsler. And Maddox was totally stunned by this.

So he rammed his dick into the up the ass of a guy who's just bent over mining his own business drinking out of water fountain. Maddox comes around with his heat-seeking penis and Knox rammed his ass. So for the rest of high school,

the rest of Maddox's high school, this guy calls him Efsler every time he sees him. He's bullying him for being a, you know. And then the icing on the cake is Maddox goes, yeah, so I looked him up. I looked him up. Yeah.

Turns out he's going. It turns out he's gay, which is the lie. That part's, he definitely looked him up because he's a little vindictive prick. So he looked him up to try to fuck with him. Guys probably married with kids, you know. Probably like sales manager, something in Utah. Probably great guy, great life.

Right, yeah. Because if someone rams their dick into your ass, the correct move is to turn around and call them an F-sler. So I assume the rest of his life is correctly done. Right, yeah. If he had it that well together, high school there's probably a good chance he runs like a roofing company definitely a retard thing to do is just walk around with your head in the sky ramming your

dick into strange men well that's assuming he was even walking around with his head in the sky too he could have just been in line and like thirsting he needed a drink from that fountain man it's okay to saying i had brain cancer and i don't and i don't consider myself the same person okay well i don't think the guy had brain cancer uh kutrez says woman alert Woman alert Woman alert What do you got? Oh, same one.

All right. Thanks, Ketres. I know I feel blue-balled. Oh, Maddox's thing is making the rounds again. Okay, this is from day man. Here we go. Maddox is simping for the Somalians, of course.

he is. Okay, Dayman, let's see. It is Maddox saying this is about the Somalian fraud, healthcare fraud, whatever you want to

call it. What evidence? What evidence was there in this video that anything was shady about these companies? The only shady person in the video was the guy walking around harassing them. With two masked men in tow.

I wouldn't want to be on camera or do business with a shady fucker like that either. So the Somalians aren't doing anything. They're just running daycare. Cool. Alex solved it, man. It's a whole building full of daycare. He took it exactly right at fucking face value. What evidence is there?

Looks to me like it's child care building. It's just a simple child care building. Not a one kid. God. Okay. Maybe I have like one or two fat watches. That won't know. Matt watch.

Today is fat news. Bub, bubub, bubub, bupub, this is from... Oh, yeah. I don't remember.

This has been in my saved folder forever. The life of a girl who ruined the friendship by kissing her best friend one year ago today. So I'm guessing they turned it into a relationship. Yeah. And all they think was travel and be fat together. Christy.

Christy. Kirstie Leanne travels. Um, all right. Let's see what you got. Kirstie. Oh. It looks like Mario Sunshine. Looks like two of the guys from Mario Sunshine.

Oh, fuck the peyantas. Holy shit, they're missing their little. With the little thing on their head. Someone's got to come by with a fire hose. Ah! Mm-hmm. Was that... They were standing in front of the phone booths in London,

and they were blocking out the phone booths. Did you see that they... Oh, no, that Jeep is not rated for that. Okay, I got to go frame by frame through this. Okay, there they are in front of some brownstones. Yeah. A little browner after these two. The one on the right mistook a cookie behind the one on the left's ear.

Just hunting for crumbs. Like a mass. magic trick, yeah. Like a pig. She's hunting for truffles back there in her hair. For ruffles. Hunting for ruffles. Classic ruffle pig.

I'm sorry. Did you call my wife a ruffle pig? That's the one shot right there. Shut the fuck up, you ruffle pig. That was teamwork. That would be a pallbearer. Like, whoa. Pearl clutching after that one would be astronomical.

Oh! What? You got nerds here? Yeah. You're bringing in fucking nerds? What's the hell is this? I don't know. They were in my pocket. What the fuck?

They're good. Man, I'm bummed. I missed your show. There's just no way. Oh, dude, yeah. Well, for everyone who missed it, next, last Saturday of January. Oh, okay, good.

Coming down to the dirty street corner and get fed a hot dog by the mysterious person in the clown costume. Okay, so this is Kirstie and the Ruffle Pig. Also, the name Kirstie or Kirsten, like, who spelled it wrong on your birth certificate? Like, you just want to be special. Like, fuck off. Oh, okay. Now, this is disco inferno here.

They're standing in a room with mirrors. with mirrors on the walls and like, I don't know, 20 disco balls, so it looks like a million disco balls. They're so fat that they've reached the center of the universe. And still with two devices that were made purely to attract attention working together,

I still can't look away from their dueling guns. The clefts of their dueling guns. It's like two front butts trying to duke it out. Yeah, this is two President Scroobes arguing. I'm like, if you look from the legs up, you're like, oh, are they standing backwards? Oh, no. Dude, it looks like I could draw like a fly nose on this one.

Like their front butts are like eyeballs of flies. Yeah. Yeah. That's funny. Man. Two mosquitoes drinking out of the same cop. Mosquitoes, yeah, with the proboscis coming right out of their pussy. I need to sit you guys down

I just need to come out of the closet of the straight man I need to come out of the closet except I need to wait till two or three hundred pounds leaves before I can fit out the door God Okay

Choosing to be fat and gay On top of being a woman though That's like kind of like You're asking for it Gay Lesbian Yeah Give me a break

Okay God, that Oh, you fucking, they really spread through that one. They fucking knew it, dude. They were like, we look like Mario Sunshine. You got to speed through that one.

You can't show everybody that way. You look like Mario. What was that guy's name of Mario Sunshine? The Piantas. Piantas. That's funny. Mario Sunshine Piantas?

Yeah. For the people who don't these guys. Two Mario Sunshine Piantas. Like this. This is what they look like. Holding hands and everything. Look, this is exactly what they look like from behind. Yeah, that fucking is. Mario, you gotta save the sunshine.

Mario, you gotta feed these bitches some water for once in their lives. Mario, I need to lose 60 pounds. Mario, have you met my wife? There she is right here. She's a fat piece of shit, too. She's also in Mario Sunshine. He's got a flower growing out of her head, too. Yeah, look, this one.

This is a lady. That's crazy. This guy's got a dapper mustache. He's like, can you believe the size of my wife? Take my wife, please. Do you think the game would have a totally different connotation if they were all black and you were going around spraying him with the fire hose? Hey, man, knock that shit off. No one likes your ass, Mario.

Get out of it. Spray in everybody. Get out here with your fucking spray hoes and ass. Jesus. They can't even lean in for a kiss. Yeah, because the boat will capsize. It looks like two sea lions. It does look like when they're fighting. Yeah.

Up in San Simeon just fucking. Sea lions fighting. Yeah. Yeah, come on. Get to the fight. Get to the fighter. It's not funny. There it is. Er, er, er. Yeah.

Er, er, er, er. Just mouths open, jousting at each other. Unfucking believable. Wow. And these aren't even, no, no, I need two elephant seals. Oh, that's right. Here we go. Here we go.

There they are. That's the traveling girls. That's Kirstie and her wife. Ah, God damn it. And making me stretch it God damn it Come on That's what that kid said to the monster too

Dude Don't be putting Kids getting raped On Netflix I can't find I can't tell which one is which Oh this is the Instagram one Oh shit no it's not

It was this one Yeah Like Did anybody think Don't put a tentacle in his mouth and put goo in him. Like, don't do that.

Yeah, but, you know, all the symbolism and all the, like, just think of how, like, heady and interesting I am because I put this in there. You don't... Put it up his ass, then. So we don't have to watch.

Just make the actor go, ooh! And make all the goo spray out of his mouth on some, like, fucking trauma shit. Yeah, stick the tentacle up his ass then. Stick a thousand tentacles up his ass. What's the fucking difference? If you got an old,

if you got an old, man sticking a tentacle in a kid just put it up his ass save us all the trouble right you know it's what he's wanting to do anyway yeah just get it over with if he sticks in his mouth is going to bite it off

why would he do that if he's got to get those weird things in him he would stick it up his ass well see the real strangest thing is that kid has teeth in his ass so he was going to bite it off that's a strange thing yeah that's the stranger thing that's the strangest thing

you're gay wow that's a strange thing what a strange thing and then it cuts to the credits or no worse someone goes well I've heard stranger things I've heard changing things

and then it cuts to the credits now gay huh I've heard strange and things gay in the 80s I've heard strange of things you think that's bad That would have been the best ending.

Yeah. That would have been the only way to redeem that whole scene. I've heard Stranger Things. Yeah. And then just cut. Season's over. Show's done. I'd watch it a million times over just to see...

Just for the whole buildup to see that scene again. I'd be like, man, that's the best ending to any show. Well, I mean, I've heard stranger. I've heard stranger things. Again, there's like the monster in the background. It's like, man. If the monster broke in and said, I've heard stranger things.

Yeah. I put the monster said it with his ass, too. He's got teeth in his ass. And then the other guy came in and said, by the way, that's why I stuck it in the kid's mouth. Right. Because that monster has teeth in his ass. I thought everyone has teeth in their ass.

Everyone has teeth in their ass. And everyone turns over and goes, ah. Simultaneously. They all turn over and start laughing with their ass mouth. The direct walks in the Elephant seals are on the boat Now they're in Toki dokey something

Man Even with all the Anime Even with all the Cal arts style Like big bold lines Big eyes, big pupils You know just like really exaggerated They still look like fat pieces of shit

It's so crazy Nothing hides it What was that? What was that? I think they were both on scooters. They were both on a Vespas scooter. There it is. Ah!

I missed it again. Come on! That was even smaller than a Jeep. That was a fucking Suzuki chimney. Oh. I'm gonna get the phone booth and I'm getting the Jeep. That last clip. Don't talk to me.

Don't bother me. I need to get... Oh, shit. I missed it. Shit, shit. Ah, yes! Yes. Look at the top.

one on the right. That is you can just see those fucking fried eggs hanging off that joint. Oh. Welcome to the Waffle house. The Waffle Stomper House. Is this what they have

in the phone booths in the UK, this trans flag shit? I think the UK wasn't in the Bible because even they knew it was a godless place back then. God damn, dude, you can't avoid it. They're like, see, we're so Harry Potter and Doctor Who in front of the telephone booth.

And it's gay. How do you have radical extremist Islam's and also cutting kids penis off flags in the same place? Right, but then if you make a shitty comment on Twitter, you get arrested. Straight to jail. By some robot who has no concept of fucking anything. By some white asshole in a wig in a gay ass wig. well this fucking comment you said

well yeah that was like offensive it's bad stuff I hate that shit so much man dude they're I fucking hate I don't I don't want to be the world police but God I wish that the U.S. military would do some

major regime change in the United Kingdom like bombs and assassinations and execution Everything we got. Pete Hegaseth getting wasted. It's fucking firing off missiles. Everything we got.

Light those motherfuckers up. Every single MP they have. They're too much into like, well, we have to preserve this like pomp and circumstance of everything. And it's like, fuck off. Like, yeah. This like bizarre like family worship shit is only ever. It's just, it's one thing to get to make everybody get raped.

It's totally another one to jail everybody who's like, sick of getting raped. Yeah. And you have to pay to even say that. Yeah, all right. What was the other one? The Jeep, right?

The Jeep. Got it. Look, it's a Suzuki fucking chimney, dude. That's not even a Jeep. They're sitting in a smaller fucking thing, man. Where did they travel to in

Jurassic Park? Ila Nubbular. They broke into the vehicle. The dinosaurs were like, ugh. Damn, that bitch is fat. I'm not messing with that. This is

The Jurassic Park tour. Titusers are like, wow, the quality of our food these days has really gone downhill. Not eating that shit. No. But this last, not that one, the one a... She's throwing up donuts in her mouth. She's big birding her?

Yeah. Like, give me the fucking donuts you ate. Blah. You think they just barf it back and forth together? Yeah, probably. God. All right. Liam says, the Grinch, you stole Christmas dinner.

okay let's see what you got here oh wow god damn the grimace grimmis grinch grimace she looks like an old couch

Grinchmas Mary Grinchmiss yeah that means Grinch mixed with grimace from me and mines or me and are these mines fucking landmines yeah she

she's got landmines in her house like it's uh the is the tree that small or is it just herd that's so big. It's a little bit of both.

And if you notice, there is no fucking bottom branches on that shit. Like, yeah, you're supposed to fold it down. The bottom. Oh, wow. That angle is worse.

Big fucking grinch, dude. That's a big. That looks like a fucking face. You could totally draw a face. Look at, there's already, you can see her fucking crazy ass, fucking nipples busting

that's a total Kermit face you can draw it looks kind of like a Morty mouth Oh yeah Her gun clapped here You know like Mm hmm

The gut cleft Jesus Oh give mama a hug There's a black South Park guy on the TV too Chef Chef's on the TV

Dude They can measure his height They can measure Her son's height By how far he can reach around their gut. Oh, right.

Instead of just, instead of standing up against the wall and marking it off, it's how far you can reach around. So here's how you know how brain rotten I am. I'm so used to everyone

generating South Park images or Simpsons characters of themselves that I just assume that they're that into themselves that they have that. Oh, yeah. No, they're just watching

the Loch Ness Monster episode of South Park. Oh my God, now she's looking away. Do you think the end of her hair stinks from being in her ass crack all day? Is it? Coated in anything?

The hair? Sweat and ass. Yeah. It smells like a... It smells like the restroom at a Chinese sweat market. Ugh. Smelling like a urinal after a day

at Cinco de Mayo. Wow, she's putting all 600 pounds on one leg here. That knees blown. This needs a drum roll. That... It needs a drumstick. Now gonna stand on one leg.

Wow. That'll inspire the boomers. It's crazy because her head so fucking big, she can't even put the Grinch hood on. Yeah. Big Mama Curvy? Mother model. Ambassador. Should have capitalized the ass.

Yeah. Plus size Sista of Hot Curvy Society. Atlanta, Georgia. Are there a lot of fat black women in Atlanta, Georgia? More than you could ever possibly imagine. Oh, and she's got a fucking funeral She's got a fake wing black guy Funeral, what the fuck?

Dude, I called that shot so fucking early, man Dude What the fuck? She's got a funeral AI black guy video She paid for that, dude And the wings are curved in Like they're two tidal waves about to crash in

This is old AI, I bet because it looks Jankey November 13th Oh no What the fuck If someone gets out of the coffin And flies away

I'm gonna fucking end the show right here He's got a white Ivory coffin Man that guy In the front is struggling He's gonna have a fucking heart attack Everybody's struggling

Why is this guy wearing white Pulbearer Tell me this is a Tell me this is a Flying Video No this is some kind of stupid Other video

Oh my god what if she fell in so she's wearing all white uh looks like the stay puff marshmallow man at the funeral that's so fucking crazy they threw out a bunch of doves oh she accidentally ate a couple of them i think yeah there's one covered in hot sauce trying to fly away getting out of her mouth yeah like when a dog eats a june bug uh uh uh as... Tasteful collage, of course. Tasteful collage, that's nice.

This is not nice. That's crazy. As November 16th, the 20th, slowly approaches, I start to feel more and more down. I've been strong for so long and hid my feelings for so long because I wanted to make sure my family was okay, had to keep a strong face for my babies. Truly, I, not capitalized,

haven't been okay in a long time. What are you 600 pounds? It's been almost three years since my twin face, my daddy, the man, that showed me the game. And always showed me what tough love was the one that made me strong in a lot of way has been gone. Touching. I felt like I had a stroke hearing that. I missed my daddy.

Day in and day out. A sad emoji. My heart has been broken since the day he parted from us. I can barely smile. I'm numb. I can't really feel. Okay. And then flash forward to the cut of her in a Grinch costume, smiling her ass off.

I hold one to the last conversation I had with my daddy He told me if you get married Make sure it's oh, it's her actual dad Make sure it's the right person Because you don't want to waste your time marrying the wrong person I just want my daddy back Okay Well

Downer ending Big Mama Club Freaky Friday Ladies Open Bar Open Dessert Bar they mean Lost in the South Lost in Descent

Souse. Lost in the Souse. God, this is making me want to drink. I didn't have, I not have any feelings of wanting to drink until I started seeing this shit. Ooh, God. Oh, look at her ass.

I thought this was the, she's wrapped in a blanket, but it's her ass spilling out the side. Jesus. Okay. That's it. Let's do some voicemails and then do Johnny's brain rot.

Resenting. Bap, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba. Presenting Whop, wop, wop, wap, wap, Hey, Dick, I have a 3-year-old child, a 2-year-old child, and a 5-day-old son. When you have a child,

this is similar to your off-gassing problem. When you have a child, every woman in your life takes it as a wonderful operation. opportunity to buy you a bunch of children's furniture made out of particle board. Yeah. And when you end up spending six hours of your precious time off work, putting all this Chinese interest together, splitting boards by overcranking on your little

Allen key and all that stuff because there's no real tools to put it together. Even if you've got the tools, it's all this hex stuff. It's all this gobbledy-goat quarter-turned. I got a hex thing for my screwdriver. cheapest wood and guess what your kid turns two and throws the little toddler chair at the wall and shatters it because it's made out of particle board but uh thank god it was cheap so you can buy a lot of it yeah damn congrats on that uh five day old i don't know why anyone would do it again uh but you did it three times good for you hey the dick show beach duck um i just started

listening to the bonus episodes again. And I got to say, I think the singularity is when AI crosses with talent because it weirded me out so bad. Like Johnny Rocket's AI Maddox videos just sound exactly like him. Like I thought you just started playing one of his videos. Yeah. Listen to the old Maddox stuff. Thank you, fuck you, bye. Yeah, I think it's the way Johnny Rocket writes him more than anything.

Yeah, it's very accurate. Okay, so fuck stranger things. It turns out the entire thing is about exactly what we thought it was the entire time. Will's greatest Phil. What's Will's greatest fear? What's Will's greatest fear that everyone's going to find out he's day? Congrats. I saved you like five hours.

I think the only thing more distracting than my predictions of this bullshit happening was Millie Bobby Brown's stupid lip filler. Oh, and he looks so bad. With a little bit more mental fortitude to be capable of being called a pedophile for just a little while longer, then maybe just maybe he could have convinced her to keep looking like she was supposed to. She looks exactly as distracting as you thought she would. It's fucking ridiculous. Go fuck yourselves.

It just, it looks like shit. I got to, I like, I'll look up pictures because I don't want to watch it. Your brain just sees plastic surgery and it doesn't see a real person anymore. It's like, it's like sweet D. Like from Always Sunny. Yeah. Got a bunch of plastic surgery and now she just looks like a fucking mess. Like watching reboot.

With Dot Matrix? Yeah, with the blue guys. That was a good show. That was. At least we... Yeah. But to see that we were shown a fake thing from the beginning and it was consistently fake the whole time. Yeah.

This. It looks like shit. Hey, Dick. Hey, Johnny. I just want to say I'm so glad that you guys are listening. to Best Debate in the universe again because the last bit of Sean's time

on Best Debate is such an interesting piece of the lore to me but I don't think you and most other people know about because most other people would rather kill themselves than listen to Best Debate in the universe but for some reason I kind of enjoy it and my mind is twisted in that way

and I especially enjoy when Sean was on a course because Sean's just actually funny and he kind of gets like angry towards the end. Like I can tell he's not having a good time. Oh, really? But that just comes in the form of like meaner zingers towards Maddox. And it's beautiful.

And then I'm really just curious about the time. Do you know anything, Dick, about his like very last day? Because there was this weird thing where he was all like insistent that he was going to come back. and that was like the whole bit. But I think he said later that that was a lie. But like, I want to know the conversation that took place with Maddox that led to them playing it that way. It's just so fucking bizarre to me. I'm just glad you guys are finally diving into this stuff because your reactions to it are great.

And I'm excited for Sean's last episode on Best Evair. I know Sean's never going to come on the show again. But if you can get him for one special episode, that should be the one, is when you guys. listened to his last episode on best debate. It's just so weird. God, I never realized that. That he is going to have a last. Yeah.

Best debate. We should bring him back in and then get Mr. pooped out on a call too. And then he'll be like, I don't know why I fucking ever came back to this shit. I have to remember to look at the date of the show that we're listening to and try to remember what was going on.

Right. On that time. because there will be an episode where I get sued. And I bet once the lawsuit happened, that was probably a big deal. Yeah. For Sean. I'm sure.

I bet you can tell if he was still on. I don't remember when he left that show. It's all hazed to me. I think he was still on it when I got sued, though, when Maddox sued everybody. That's even funny. I think so I don't know

I'd have to check Sounds like we've got another I bet Bonus episodes coming up I mean Yeah we gotta do another bonus episode Hell yeah January

If I If I guessed If I had to guess If I would wager a guess I would say that Sean said he was leaving And Maddox realized

As he was saying it How it would look Mm-hmm And he didn't want He didn't want people to think that the show was Lesser moving forward or that he had done anything wrong at all Or that he was the cause of this at all So he

Maddox is a compulsive liar And there are a lot of people like Maddox Who when they get pressed For when they get pressed on anything Like When they're Like repressed guilt starts eating them up

well they'll just say they'll make up a story for you yes and tell everybody like dick couldn't be here because he realized he doesn't want to say he's not here we're having a problem uh so I'm sure when he got ready to vocalize it

and they did it's a it's called compulsive lying because it just happens like they don't know if you ask them why did you make up that lie about me they'll say they'll say some post hoc rationalization like well I did it because but it's like it's a lie you just did it because it was easier for you to say because you it absolves you of all guilt but it's not true it's not what I said it's not what was said um I I really doubt either Sean told him that he was taking a hiatus because it would make things easier for Sean because he's like I don't want to deal with this

fucking lunatic yeah which makes sense um or Maddox just said at the on the spot he just made up some bullshit. Yeah. It could have been either or. Because there's a lot of people who just compulsively lie a lot. How was your time with your family over the holidays, by the way?

It's great. Good. Glad you took some time off for that. I need Johnny, I need every single, if I don't every moment. Well, you're like a family is very important to you, man. I get it.

But like obsessively so. I can't even take an hour. I need every... Johnny fuckface was talking about how that fly wouldn't go ahead and leave him alone reason is because your whore is dirty because of poop dad take that shit hat he was right oh this was the guy who killed himself I think oh okay this is a blank voice mail hey I'm a couple episodes behind but I'm listening to that one bit where the Somalian guys talking about how you fight with one you fight with all of them

So I just moved to the apartment and my new neighbor is this old, old, like, Kenyan guy. I think he's like a child soldier, but like he's like a really old. And I was talking about like the Somali and the truckers, whatever. And he said that the Somalis are like the Jews of Africa. So I think I think that's part of why it's like that. No explanation given. Makes perfect sense. Yeah, I mean, very relatable.

That's I'm sorry, they're the what now? Say no more. I like this old Kenyan guy. Johnny, your endorsement of Scrub Daddy made me go, you know what, I need you, uh, sponge. Let me try one and I gotta say

top tier sponge. It's really good. It's probably not a complete waste of money. Pretty good recommendation. Get them to sponsor you on the show, Johnny. I doubt they will, because no amount of scrubbing could clean up my act, But no, they're great sponges and they work like a motherfucker.

Yeah, they're good. All right. Where's your... Take it away. Now we get really... Now we're going to really need the fucking scrub daddy. Jesus Christ. Also, too, they make the sad daddy version, which is like one with the frowny face.

So when you're cleaning crime scenes with it. It's not all like morose. Yeah. Allegedly. Okay, so this one is... Oh, yeah. I'll let you cue up that up. But um, so this lady has some nice words for us.

Eva Mises? Yeah. I think it was like happy holidays, right? My Portuguese isn't great these days, but I'm assuming, I'm assuming it was something nice. There's hearts and stars and horses and rainbows in there. Dick, I don't know about you, but she definitely brought some joy to my world. Okay, let me see if I get this right. Bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo d'all too

Well so she was actually watching that old cartoon network show Bo Bo Bo Bo Bo Bo Bo, right? So I mean, how could you not like Bo Bo Bo Bo Bo Bo Bo Bo Bo Bo Bo. See, she's a big fan of the show She said I like that, yeah So now that we started off in hell with this one Oh yeah, it doesn't get any better either

She does this every day That's her bit. But she's always got music because, again. Yeah, I can see why. Why? She only talks in that one? Yeah. I can't really find...

Why would she do that? You know? I think she did the one and got such crazy backlash. Oh, there you go. No, that's this song. Oh, there you go. Is she making gun sounds like a rapper? Is she retarded?

She must be. Or deaf? You probably. Clearly. If she was deaf, I don't think she would have posted if she heard herself. She's not deaf. She's putting music on. Yeah.

So then what the fuck? She's dancing to music. She feels the beat in the floor. But yeah. So she had some nice words for us. So now this one is called botchulism, spelled very correctly. Botch, B-O-T-C-A. Oh, God.

It's a woman with a really fucked up boob job, but it fucked up every kind of job. Her face is fucked up. Oh my God, her face is so fucked up. Like cheek implants. The tits are the best part, and they're a train wreck. They look like asphalt. Yeah.

Oh, my... Oh, my... God. But yeah, man. And the guitar playing is worse than all of it. That's the part that got me. Well, she's got some kind of chops. She's got chops, but...

But she looks like a fucking monster. Yeah, well, she's the... Stranger Things, Monster. I've seen stranger things. I've seen Stranger Things and all. Everybody calm the fuck down. But yeah, it assaults the senses. What the fuck?

It ruins the ears. It definitely... Yeah, this is bad. Please give us a documentary. Yeah, no, shit. This is... It's like watching a sleepy hollow trying to do anything. Oh, this is her profile pick, huh?

Mm-hmm. Yeah, right. Uh Just astonishing Yeah Yeah, it's a chick playing a guitar It's crazy because it's like Once you hit like 50 in Hollywood

You have no choice but to become this Oh my God dude This is No, I need video Ugh Yeah Sickening Oh man

That is a That is a nightmare It's a daymare Okay So you'll like this next one This is for all you rosatia ladies. Or rosacea girlies, sorry. This is for the rosacea girlies out there.

Now that's like your skin has like red marks. You get the red cheeks from you being so fat that your blood vessels have nowhere else to go. She's got a Santa mug. Let's see. For the rosacea girlies out there. I'm like, this bitch is rosacea. She got a beard. Yeah, that too.

She's got a fucking beard, man. Wait, is this a woman? That's a fucking beard, bro. Mm-hmm. This is for the rosacea girlies out there. She does makeup? Gia does my makeup? No, she's got a lot of practice.

Hey, she's up where Carl is, Rochester, New York. Someone should do Carl's makeup. Gia de Morrow makeup artistry. Timeless, elevated, natural glam. New York and Beyond. Special event makeup specialist. Okay. This is her wedding.

Jesus. Jesus. God, look at this. She looks like a fatter Lori Beth Denberg. Who's that? The fat white lady on all that. You know her name? Yeah.

I was like, who has two last names? Like, I couldn't conceptualize that as a kid. She's got all these, like, glamorous pictures of weddings. Yeah. And then spliced in with, like, her. Her fat sister, yeah. I need so much help. Wait, is this her?

No, so that's her sister. Oh, the fat one's her sister? Yeah. So she peppers her in to kind of, you know. Yeah. See, you're just as beautiful as all in. Yeah, I mean, I guess. So here's the last one.

If you've ever lost your lunch, this one's found it. You always throw an extremely gross one. I already see scar tissue is a word on this page. Well, that I wish you saw, you know. Whoa. Okay.

You're going to hate this whole page when we dive in. This, she's got, caption of this one says, this scar tissue is the aftermath of living with hydroddenitis. Hydra denitis. Supuritiva. Every scar tells the story of a flare-up that wants hurt, drained, and demanded more strength than people realize. It's not just skin. It's proof of battles fought daily, healing that didn't come easy in a body that keeps trying even when it's tired. These scars don't mean failure, they mean survival.

I share this for visibility, for understanding and for anyone learning to love a body marked by a condition they never chose. Okay. Uh... Oh, God! Fah! Both armpits are like that.

Her armpits all scar tissue. her entire armpit and she's fatter than hell means, I mean that obviously Oh do the rest of her page is just as terrible But that, because we always joke About fat folds, right? But man, to see the inner machinations

Of such destruction is jarring. Just how life goes. Just how life goes, officially. Yeah, it's just how life goes, man. officially? Oh yeah, because I first This handbeast graced my page

with a belly button draining. No. Ew, wound care. So she's just like always She's always bleeding Always making pus Always like Yeah, fucking

Oh, draining the belly button. Ew! This is literally forced me to change the way I dress. Well, yeah. Because her belly button's leaking all over the fuck in front of her shirt all day. Leaking what?

Puss. It is forced me to change the way I dress when the drainage is nonstop. It's not just a medical issue. No, it's a medical issue. Can we tell her that the Somalis are taking her money? Right, yeah. Will I smell it before anyone else does? Oh my fucking God, dude.

That's the craziest thing ever right. What a fucking nightmare! that one with their armpit, dude Ha ha ha ha Bro Oh Man What the fuck is this disease

The fat bittualism I guess Is it fat? Well I think she's so fat That her It's got nowhere else to go It was just like destroying her skin Like I've never heard of this disease

This is fucking disgusting Dude Oh that's something she pulled out of herself that was like a gauze she stuffed in like her belly button and then finally pulled it out this is this is the worst thing by far that you've brought in by a mile by a country mile dude well if you didn't want to start drinking earlier uh we could hit the liquor store this is so fucking gross the fact that this is allowed to get posted on instagram just blows me But cookie, how many cookies can you bake in five years, is it?

Right. That's verboten. This, totally okay. Hey, guys, I have something to tell you. If Cookie Monster had to make six million cookies. And then Dustin's like, he could only make like 180,000 cookies. I don't get it. What's the problem?

And Nancy is like, okay. The Cookie Monster says he's gay. We get it. Guys, I don't get it. What's he so what's the big deal? It's just not enough. It's just not six million cookies. This bitch has had six million cookies.

For sure. All these gun shots. I need to know if it's caused by fatness before I decide how to feel. I'm pretty sure. It has to be. This is the sickest, this is easily this is the sickest thing I've ever seen. That armpit shot.

How much would it take for you to lick that? That actually took a lot in me not to throw over my mouth a little bit How much to lick that? I don't think I could do it Do we get somebody to lick that at a live show? Someone out there will do it Or a thousand bucks Oh dude someone

Someone will for sure do it And it's got to be a It's got to be like a five second lick. It's got to be like a five second lick It can't be like the lesbians and porn thing Where they'll go like this or like Yeah, you can't be like They're all like disgusted and it's like

They lean in like this Yeah, get in there That like sour fiss You're not convincing anyone But that almost looks like a little face Yeah, you can put lipstick on it Give it a kiss Jesus Christ

Hydra Did not What if this is just a made up disease? Well that's what I'm thinking I think it's just like a fat bitch thing No, it's not. Look, all these... Oh, this is the...

Okay. That's it. You want some nerds gummy clusters now? I need some nerds gummy clusters. All right, goodbye, everyone. That's the worst one. That's the worst one. That's pretty fucking bad.

Oh. Look at this. First email I got, Vito ban me. Somebody else. That's somehow worse than that. Yeah, it is. God. Vio be streaming to two people

will ban one of them. That's it. That's it. You're out of here. The other one's an alt account. All right. Goodbye, everyone. See ya.