The Dick Show - Episode 504 - Dick on Fat Libs

Episode Date: April 5, 2026

Whitey is back on the moon, my bathroom falls out of scope, new places to put velour, Fat Libs, Johnny Rocket launches SUPERKILLERs, a mob of bicyclists are arrested, a new opening act, Germany starts to go to war, and Maddox proposes a solution to slow down the rotation of the Earth; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!

I'm hydrating with coffee. I'm all white today, see? I got my white shirt. You know, if I'm going to be fat, I might as well wear shit that makes you look fat. You're like a black guy who just got paid. That's right. Let me get my grill put on. I'm going to go downtown.

Take my wife's wedding ring or whatever. All white outfit? All white terry cloth outfit? I'm going to have Terry cloth sunglasses. Even the lenses, too. I'm going to go to Kanye's next show. White, I'm gonna have Terry Cloth Contact lens

I'll put that shit in Put that shit on my peeps Your eyes just fucking bloodshot red The whole time from being so goddamn dry Bitch feel my eyes They're fuzzy My fucking eyeballs are fuzzy You ever had a

You ever fuck with an end I'm gonna say it Because I'm like in character Right You ever fuck with a end It's got fuzzy eyeballs I doubt it Bitch

I'll show up at the barbecue Like did you see Dick And it's got fuzzy He's got fuzzy motherfucking eyeballs You just gave me a crazy idea to the barbure Where it's a barbecue But everyone's a barber too

You get a haircut Yeah If my ribs ready No you want to sit out and get your hair straightened And get your beard straightened Get a wisecracking a barber Just making jokes and pointing at everything With his clippers

Fuck did I start this? Are we recording? I don't know if I did or not actually Shit Yeah this is going all right We're going over here Yeah there we go Rumble, I guess, probably fucked up. Rumble's always fucked up.

Oh, there it goes. I don't know why I launched into all this black stereotype voice. Too much Vito. That's what... Me and Vito are on the same side again. So everything's good. That's cool. I like that.

I'm kicking off White Boy Summer with my all-whites. What are we talking about before the show? We're bringing back cargo shorts. No more of the short-short shit. Well... The short short... I brought the short shorts in. I'm taking them out. Okay.

It's time to swap. We're not doing short shorts anymore. We're doing Jinko. We're doing Janko fucking bell bottoms that cover your shoes but have like 50 fucking extra pockets on them summer. Oh yeah. Multiple leather mans. Well, because I was thinking, too, you brought up short shorts and I'm like, well, that's 70s white boy summer, which still counts. It's too old.

It's too old. We need 90s. We needed the 90s back. But in true, in this true spirit of the 90s, right, you have the big ass cargo shorts that zip off into short shorts. that zip off into short shorts. So you can unzip the pockets. I like it. And just take those off.

Swirl it around. Yeah. Take them off. So long shorts for the day and then short shorts to play. Long shorts on the job site. And then... When I'm partying, I just want my zips.

I want my zip shorts. I don't even carry my tape measure and bag of nails with me. That's funny you say that because I'm getting new air. I'm celebrating White Boy Summer by getting new air conditioning, you know? That's cool.

And it's a Jinko brand air compressor That's cool Dyken is teaming up with Jinko and Mr. Beast to make the air conditioner You know what the guy says to me?

I knew I was having such a great time with these contractors yucking it up that's how they get you yucking it up man I was really yucking up a storm with them you go through the normal thing

you go through your house and they tell you where all the other contractors fucked up. And every time, I love it every time. Like, yeah, yeah, that's right. They did fuck that up. I'm glad that you noticed that, too. It is crooked. The molding is crooked.

They started here, and then they just kind of eyeballed it all the way around. I know. And they're Vietnamese, too, so, you know, the eyeballs won so good. Look straight to me. It's all these cracks in my fucking house. Everybody comes over. Like, why's all these cracks? Is your house falling apart?

No. It's settling. Yeah, it's been settling for 60 years. And then I found this week that the, you know, the little thing that garbage, the dishwasher, you know how it spits that shit in your sink? Yeah. Mine doesn't. It was pointed the wrong way. So it's been spitting all.

This doesn't work at all. Listen, then I heard, I was like, wait a minute, I heard it over there. I'm like, what the fuck is this? Because I got super hearing now. Yeah. So now I can hear all kinds of new fuck. It's been about a year since I've had this too I haven't thought about killing myself in weeks

So I must be getting it must be improving Something's getting better I don't know what to do about that I'll put that on the list Dishwashing thing shoots I don't know why it has to shoot loads all over The sink while it's going just go in the drain I don't know what's got to go

It has its own drain but whatever So I'm having a good time with these contractors And I'm like yeah you guys This you guys maybe this is going to be the one that works out. Maybe this will be the competent job, the first one somebody does. And then they guys like, I'm going to put some ducting. You know, they're going to put some ducting in between the air and the, in the bathroom. He's like, does it ever get musty in here? I'm like, it fucking feels like a sauna in here. It stinks. Smells like towels in here all the

fucking time. I hate it. I got to open the window and then, you know, as air, hot air is getting in and then I got to, if I forget to close the winter, I'm freezing it, you know, it's the whole thing. I feel like I'm in the 1800s in his bathroom. I'm going to carve a little moon on the door. Say occupied when people come by. Back to the future style, you know? Keep three seashells in there? Yeah.

It's like fucking smuggy in there. This sucks. You ever think? Okay. I have a question for you. You know how Marty McFly gets in that car crash and it messes up his whole life. Yeah.

That car crash wouldn't have happened except for he went back in time in the first place. Right. So... Quit fucking with things, yeah. So did he see his dad punch out Biff? And he's like, I'm gonna fucking, I'm gonna car race needles.

Is that how it happened? Because the first time through, he didn't get, he had no truck. He wouldn't have got in a car race with needles. Maybe. Then he went to prison. So he was already in a perverted timeline. Yeah.

And his timeline didn't get straightened out until the very end. Maybe I need to look at it closely. I got to watch it again now because I think, and Doc never apologized for that. Like, hey, by the way, you were fine. Nobody knows what happened to him in the original timeline. Maybe you would have been great.

Anyway. Don't say it too loud. They might make another sequel. That's the point of that movie is you got to let people bully you until it's like acceptable for you to beat them up. Surprise that an Israeli person made that movie. And they don't seem to understand that When it comes to blowing up kids

Bridges and stuff Yeah It's the damn thing You gotta let them You gotta let them biff up You can't fucking nuke needles You gotta nuke biff Dude I'm just laughing

Because it's like That is the most miserable time to shit Is when it's muggy In my bathroom Yeah Don't even fucking talk to me I'm I gotta wear

When I take a shit I get one of those those beaded water soaking things and wrap it around my neck. So I'm like fucking Dr. Livingston hacking through the Congo. Well, it's like, you know, it's bad when you come out and your eyebrows have curled. Like fucking lemony Snicket. I come out of the bathroom, I look like lemony Snicket.

My wife goes, did you take a shit? I'm like, how did you know? Fucking Lemony Snicket. A series of unfortunate shit. A shitties of unfortunate shits. So he goes, buddy, we're going to pop a vent. We're going to pop a fucking air vent in there. It's an air vent.

You're going to go through the roof, like the middle of the house? He goes, nah, we're probably going to have to go like through the wall, like through the hallway. I'm like, ah, all right. You're going to have a shit vent into your hallway? I guess. That's fucking crazy. Well, through the hall, like from the air intake through the hallway into the bathroom, right? Yeah.

So I guess you can, maybe they could make it like an aquarium, so you could see the shit. Oh, like green. Maybe it could be like see-through, like acrylic, so you could see the green going through into the air. And I'm like, all right. And I said, it will look good? And they look pretty good. So I thought, well, they put little things on their shoes when they come in. I'm like, okay, well, you guys look pretty good.

Your website looks okay. So you know. So then the guy comes out to do the measurements. And I'm like, you're gonna put the, they get the vent of here, right? And you guys, yeah. And you're gonna like, you know, drywall it and stuff. And he goes, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Yeah, he's not the drywall.

So what do you mean, whoa? And he goes, well, I think that's out of scope. I said, out of, what? I know you just didn't fucking scope creep me, you asshole. And our air conditioning system. You fucking scope creep me? Don't you dares? I'm fucking Mr. Scope creep.

Don't you fucking dare scope creep me? He goes, I have to check the, I have to check the SOWW to see if that's out, to see if that's in scope. I say, yeah, you better get your fucking binoculars out then. You better find it in there. You better fucking get real into the fine print, find where drywalling fucking three feet of ducting in the hallway is okay. I don't want to get smiley in here to do it.

sick of that guy I haven't seen him in years but you know what's going to happen Johnny what's going to happen is I'm going to have a fucking aluminum oven mitt looking spaceman suit ducting going from my

basement to my master bathroom and I'm never going to fix it that's what's going to fucking happen it's going to look like a brewery it's going to look like a fucking brewery but god damn it's going to be cold presenting Oh, whoa, whoa, what did you say about Drive?

Oh, whoa! Can you just fucking do it, man? Fuck! Yeah! Welcome to Dick. You want Dick, you need Dick, you love Dick. You got it. It's the show, rhythms, a contest company.

You laugh from Mount Bunker Deep in the Harder City Failure. I'm your host, Dick Masterson, aka the $20 million man. Joining me is Johnny the audio engineer. What's up, man? These fucking guys. Dude, well, it's like... The problem is, like, see it from each side, right?

Of like, well, that's not in the work order, dude, I'm just here to get the job and get the fuck out. But also, I understand doing a good job and fucking you know, you repeat it. But, you know, as the homeowner, too, it's like, dog, it's just like... But it's the same

fucking guy. It's the same guy who came out, identified the problem, came up with the quote, gave it to me, asked if I signed it, and then came back out to measure and said, whoa, what's all this scope shit? You fucking defy the scope, you chicken McN! Have you seen the Japanese cultural exchange happening on Twitter?

So it's just going to be a tube. God, I'm going to stand up for myself. I've never stood up for anything in my life, and I'm going to stand up for this shit tube that I have coming out of this shit fume tube. At least it doesn't vent into the hallway, right? Or does it? No, it goes through the hallway.

Okay. Into the air. Because I'm like, if they just fucking pipe that shit up to you, your kitchen, dude. You're never going to be able to eat again. It'll sound like Michael Moro out farts Peter Griffin all the time. This Japanese cultural exchange. It's amazing on Twitter. It auto translates. I can't even tell if I'm reading a Japanese person or an autistic person now. Like I'm reading and I'm like, is this a Japanese or autistic? Oh shit, it's a Japanese person. I thought it was an autistic person. Really a really a great.

cultural, a moment of cultural exchange. I was reading, they all basically hate immigrants and everyone, you know. Yeah, it's really, it's like a whole nation of groipers that was discovered on the dark side of the moon. Like, hey, we discovered a lost civilization and they're extremely racist. It's like the far east, sentinelese island? Yeah, and now we can read everything they, I was reading one. I get into these Japanese threads because I like just how they're saying it you know and this one the one of the Japanese one of the problems that they're having over there is like is Muslims about I could just stop there Muslims they let Muslims in for some reason um I don't know why they're clearly

thrilled about it yeah yeah I guess some of them are I don't I mean I know why I know why we are white women are retarded and they like you know to be they like to put themselves in danger so they're like yeah let's get some holy wars here I don't know why they're doing it

and the Muslims are they don't like being cremated for some reason I don't know why they think it's gay so they're like we can't we have to be buried we can't cremate us and the Japanese are like we no we cremate everybody it's

being buried is fucking it's gross and we don't have any space like we're not doing we're not making a bunch of we don't it's really hard to come by space out here so we're just doing cremation the Muslims are like well it's fucking unacceptable to us so I'm reading the Japanese

talking about this because I like to see what their problems are and I scroll down like a little bit and it's one Japanese guy and he goes I agree all Muslims should be buried and I said oh yeah man Go ahead and like and bookmark that one, yeah.

Is the translator on? D, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, is this translator working right? I don't know. I don't know, because I got that joke. I just want to make sure that the translator picked this up. Do, do, do, tink, tink, tink. And then on his side, he's just, like, doing, right?

And that comes out as, I agree, all Muslims should be buried. It's like that episode of King of the Hill where they go to Japan. Mm-hmm. A good Hank. Oh, yeah. I don't remember that. What happens? Well, you know, it's just like, it's like a Japanese Hank Hill pretty much.

Yeah. And it's like, wait a second. We're not so different after all, like you and I. It's the only country on earth. We've got to defend it. We've lost. America's lost. Mm-hmm.

America's lost. Welcome to New Mexico. We'll try to. We'll try to. keep the rocket program on. I know you guys like that, but no promises. If we could somehow, if we could somehow combine the flamenco,

Ranchero, NASA project, if we could somehow relate NASA to accordion music, then it has a chance, but otherwise, no. It's just a space shuttle with a big sombrero on it. Yeah, let's slap a sombrero on that. You see the moon launch? No. We're going to the moon again.

Cool. Did you see that kid that says, we're going to the fucking moon. Fuck yeah. I didn't see that kid? Let me see if I got that kid. Wow. They said, why are you here?

Why are you so exciting? He said, we're going to the fucking moon, bitch, or something like that. He said it on TV. I was like, that's fucking cool, man. Yeah, swearing on TV is tight. Yeah. We're going to the moon to fuck her right in the pussy.

Let's see. Here we go. Fucker right in the pussy. Lives a TikTok. I don't like that. Whatever. being a part of history. We're going back to the freaking moon.

That's why. Did you hear that? I can't blow it. I've fucked up blowing it up. Let's see. Yeah, there we go. There we go. Why do you want to be here?

Why do you love space? Why do you love being a part of history? We're going back to the fucking moon. Yeah. I'm going to tell my son, buddy, if you ever get the fuckword on the news, I will give you 10,000. thousand dollars cash by whatever you want

hell yeah buy a new buy a new fucking car you get you get like this kid growing back to the fucking moon that's why boring though I fired it up the stream

and it's just like a like a space they just got a camera of space that's the thing is like I know like it's a technical marvel to which like you could look at it from any layer

and it's like wow that's pretty fucking impressive Yeah. But then like you watch it and you're like, yeah, that's all right. Some kind of race though, like something. Yeah, there's no reason to. They need something in there. Like, who takes the most shits?

Something. On the moon. On the moon. I need some kind of first that's not. Last one. The first to the moon is gay. Yeah, last one. And the astronauts are competing to see who is last on the moon because they will be considered gay.

Yeah. In the official public record. The thing is, is you land on the moon, and then once you see everyone else trying to come after you and jock your steeds, you got to shoot them out of the atmosphere. Shoot them out of the sky. Yeah, blow them out of the sky. Give them something silly to do. Keep them in the sky. There's no way that, like, it takes as much concentration now as it did back. The first time we went to the moon, they got to have some screw around time up there.

You know? Something to do. Surely I can't imagine much has changed. They got iPads now. Man, I'm seeing him go to the moon And I see the little tablets and stuff they got I said, no, I don't, I do not I would feel way more safe with the push buttons

Like light bright stuff they had in the 70s Like I know that's hooked up to something An iPad? No Doesn't even stay connected in the fucking house Every time I get in my sister's Tesla I'm like I don't like this screens that you got going on here Something's I don't like it

Well, you know what's not to like is it's got a fucking shelf life on it of you don't know when yeah then one day just one upgrade and it shuts down yeah um health officials who warn that dinosaur chicken nuggets sold at Walmart may contain high levels of lead cool

retard maxing it's just retarding yeah well again it's like they realize that like too much of this plastic and fucking ozone depletion bullshit that the newer generation was privy to. Yeah.

Like, ooh, that fucked him up. We need some of that boomer optimism. Yeah, we need that lead again. That's the correct poison. You know that guy that's like steals his kid's blood to try to stay young? Oh, yeah. And he looks like he's always wet.

Yeah. That guy. He's the shape of water, yeah. Yeah. He's like, and then he met some girl and he did mushrooms. And then he's just like, like everyone who does mushrooms

just talks about mushrooms all the time. I hate that shit so much, dude. I would love to meet one person who did mushrooms and didn't talk about it. You can just do mushrooms. You don't have to tell everybody about it. It's fine. You can do anything and not have to tell like, why you've got to? You know, don't tell me about your guru.

Let me tell you how it killed my ego, Dick. Oh. Let me tell you for six hours. It clearly didn't. It clear. I got bad news for you. you because this is the face I'm making while you tell me that story

and your ego is stopping you from seeing that face. You have face blindness now. That's what it causes. I'm fucking bored and annoyed blindness. I'd rather hear about someone's dreams than are trips. Like at this point. Yeah. Yeah, I really would.

So that guy he posted today that he just realized his backyard is Astro-Tur and that he didn't know how many chemicals were in it. Like, you mean to tell me you've been stealing your son's blood and, like, doing all this goofy shit to live forever? And you had fake astroturf grass in your backyard? How do you fucking not know?

You can't smell that it's fucked? You can't smell that it's just like chemicals coming off of it all the time? You can't understand why it's hotter than the fucking pavement? Jesus! You gotta watch it? outside with golf cleats or that stuff will stick to your shoes. It's fucking, it looks like the grossest mini golf course. It looks like the mini golf course that's next to the freeway. There's a couple houses around here that put that shit down and hilariously they have,

don't let your dogs, you know, shit on here and piss on here, even though there's like, there's more coyotes where we live than dogs. Right. So there's always coyote shit, because the dogs are fascinated by it because it's so unholy, it's natural. you see this nice like okay here's a row of houses and then this bright shiny crumpled up carpet ass miniature golf at least put a hole in it

like a flag and everyone who gets it always is like oh but it looks so good in the brochure and it's like it never fucking does it never does people don't fucking it's like when people get like a fucking shit ton of veneers all at once

and it's like dude like buggy yeah yeah Now you're Mr. Dinkmaxing. Like fucking just like, ha-h-h-ha. Like, um,

let's see. We're going back to the fucking moon. Um, here's Eric July's Easter comic. Thanks for joining us on this Saturday. Ray, Ray, Ray was going to come in tomorrow.

He goes to come in tomorrow. Just no one will be here. He'll be here. He's like, I cleared my schedule. I said, I know, but I've,

I've fucked up Easter. Every year I forget to move the show on Easter. And everyone reminded me this time because I have a kid now. usually they don't care if I'm there for Easter or not here is a new offer here's a new solicitation from Eric July this is

it's called a far is a stunning wordless visual journey through the gospel over a decade in the making I think the gospel's been around for longer I thought it's been a I think that story's been

Surely he took up our pain. Wait, it's wordless? What are all these fucking words on here? Why is it like Lord of the Rings? Like shitty Lord of the Rings? It's just Lord. Share Afar's message. Is Afar the kid's name?

Like Jafar? Is it a story about Afar? Afar Jackson, yeah. Yo, man. Yo, man. They kicked me out of the disciples, man. Yo, man. Judas,

motherfucking kick me out of the disciples, man. man. That's okay. I'm gonna do my own disciples. What is this gay shit? Share Afar's message. Donate bulk copies to approve charities. Another fucking scam. Another charity scam.

Sign up to donate copies of this stupid-ass god comic. Go back. Yeah. It's fucking, it's called the come on in. Surely the Hebrews were making jokes

and puns all the way back then and how they fucking Bob's Burger named it fucking... I'm on the Mormon side now because every version of Jesus in the Middle East is just white people shit. Yeah. Like, that was Palestinians back there, bro. They were not acting like this. They're acting like they're doing right now

getting fucking their bridges blown up. Oh, there's three more word. He is risen, man. Nah, I don't want this. I want the Nick Fuentes kind of Jesus, I don't want this kind of like chick comic shit. Well, in the sappy music and just like that

like, like this is that really this is really going to get them. Let's draw the Bible. All right, there you go. Fucking Bible. Here's a guy, Angel's like, oh, fuck you. Yeah. It's like walking into like a,

you remember when all those like Thomas Kincaid like galleries were in like malls and shit in the 90s where it was like, who the fuck is buying this garbage? Yeah, really. You know, it always had that like, that like, really like the dimmer lighting and just like, it's supposed to be, oh, it's all sentimental. Make it pop. Like, ooh, really. Make that shit pop.

You walk in and you're like, wow, this really means. It's like trying to like evoke that same kind of like stupid bullshit. It's like, fuck off. We got to get malls. We got to get malls back. Also, who the fuck doesn't know the Easter story at this point? I know. So my sister, she's got like a zillion books from her two boys, like, left over.

in the attic or whatever. Yeah. And she's decided to, she doesn't want to give me all of them at once because she's like, it's too many books. It would be,

it would be a disaster, you know? It would be like a bomb of books was dropped on your house. I'd need a dump truck. I said, just give them to me. I'll keep them to go. No, no, no, no.

You don't understand how many books we have. You couldn't comprehend it. So I'm going to give you a couple boxes of books every couple of months. She's stringing, stringing me along, right?

but so she's doing it by giving me like all the holiday themed books at a time so every month I'll get like two boxes like I have two boxes of fucking Easter books now that's like Elmo meets Jesus the Berenstein Bears crucified a panda that's cool yeah I've had panda kind of maybe I'm like yeah I appreciate what you're trying to do but I really don't like reading fucking Easter books for I don't want to read like a month worth of Valentine's Day books

and fuck to who no thank you like again how much Valentine's shit could there possibly be like they make so many these fucking books from it's crazy

so there's Ray Ray I guess is doing a comic did you see about I did see about that yeah he's doing super killers that's it's a race to the finish man

who's gonna get it out first it is a race to the finish Vito's as his color it was a good week it was a good week it was a good show biggest problem was good Frogtony

yeah man it's like a stand that was fun uh set yourself on fire like a Vietnamese oh there's no rumble links in here

okay let me see yeah I don't know I guess we'll have to see how I guess we'll have to see What the people think, who was right in that one? Frogtony told me I, you told me I lost my balls since having a kid. I've said, I've never heard that phrase. I usually hear that phrase applied to women.

Yeah. Like you lost your balls with that woman. Or you lost your balls and you took a desk job or something. You lost your balls. and you had a kid man like yeah that's that's that's that's that's called having a kid I guess I don't if I had I haven't slept in nine months man if I had any time between uh wiping asses and bottle feeding and trying to keep my wife from going insane I guess I might think about the idea of my balls somewhere but not for not for probably a couple another good six months

I don't think the idea of Why are you? Where did you come up with? I've never heard this saying, this phrase Bro, you lost your balls that you had a kid. I mean, I guess. What about balls? All I do is work and think about genocide now, so. Yeah.

And not the one that's happening. A different one. So I guess maybe. Man. I've never really heard of. you gotta show your kid your balls I don't really want

I think that gets you in trouble a lot of trouble one of the most autistic things I've heard bro you lost your balls since you had a kid did you hear that from did someone tell you that? Did you read that in a fortune cookie? It sounds translated sounds translated to me

but I don't know it was funny it was a funny stream that guy cynic some guy sinning I don't he said he was

51 but I don't think that's true he doesn't talk like he's 51 no talks like he's 5 4 or 5 5 5 5 at least gotta be right yeah that was a fun stream check that out

Vito Vito uh Vito got some dogs man Hido uh put on

um he put some sort of a brown uh thing Thanksgiving themed paint all over his face for some reason. I don't know how that, how that happened or what the statement was there. It was, he felt bad about doing that to your wedding portrait. So he wanted to express his penance for it.

Yeah, Johnny, Johnny Rocket says he can call it. And I'll just, I'll bring him in right now. He's, okay, I'll just unmute him if he's there. So check it out while you can before, before it gets flagged and Vito was erased from. Earth, there's antics. What else I got here? Pig, something about pig semen? Yeah, you should be able to...

Oh, wait, maybe I have to do this. You should be able to call in Johnny Rocket. It should be. Hey, hey, can you guys hear me? I can now. Crank up your volume. Uh... I'll turn you up to 200.

You might need to turn him up, too, Johnny, if you can. Hello? There you are. There you are. more. Gotcha. How about this? Crank it all

go as high as you can. Is it me? Is it me? Do I have mine too low, Johnny? No, it's low on here too. It's low on his end. God damn it. God damn it is right. Try fixing it and come back. Study shows

exomes from pig semen loaded with anti-cancer nanoparticles. They made them into eyedrops and they were able to breach the body's natural protective barriers and deliver anti-cancer drugs to the retina

leading to suppression of tumor cell growth. Now we're going to see who's the real homeopaths. Pig semen I made into eyedrops. You get on that pig come? So now you get cancer, you're gay.

Hello. There you are. You sound better now. What happened? Oh, it's the fucking Discord settings. It was my set to my webcam instead of my actual microphone. God, fuck you, Discord. God damn it. This is good. All the boomers are going to need anti-cancer treatments, so we should make it all cum-themed.

Yeah. Drink your Ovalteen. German men unlocked. Germany now requires... All men aged 17 to 45 to get permission from the military before leaving the country for more than three months. How about that? Wow. What might that be for?

Germany doesn't want you going to. I assume they mean the white German men. Right. They're not asking immigrants to let the military know if they're leaving. So they could send them a gift basket? What is the... Wow. I guess...

Maybe that's how it starts. The draft. First, you got to let them know when you're leaving. Because they got to do it so there's... They got to do it so you can't really point to a line and say, all right, I'm just going to start, you know, killing cops. Like, I'm not taking any more of this. Yeah.

They got to do it a little bit. Like, well, you got to stay at home. You got to let us know when you're leaving. We're just going to send you on a... on a tour, free tour of Iran. Check it out. Walls are closing in, man. Yeah, they really figured that out, didn't they?

How do we get around that? I don't know if we... Berlin Wall, too, man. They erected a virtual Berlin Wall. There's no leaving. Okay, wait, are you there now? Johnny? Yeah, I'm here.

You're here? So what's your... Did you see that frog? Tony stream that we did on with biggest problem? Oh yeah, that was that was fucking crazy. It's like you were trying to Colombo him and it's but Cynic and Vito are also there. But he's still he's still lost. He's still lost somehow.

That's true. It's hard to Colombo somebody when you have other retards messing, messing up your questions, isn't it? Oh, that'd be a great episode of Columbus. though, where he's like, okay, sir, I'm pretty sure you killed your wife. Just some guys like, you're gay, you're gay, you're gay,

you're gay. I was like, shut the fuck up. I'm in the middle of something. But Klo has to still pretend he's retarded. So last night, you said that your wife always watched this one show. What was the show?

You go, you're gay. Hey, you're gay. You're gay. You killed your wife because you're gay. Right, yeah. How would he pull it off? I didn't think about it like that, Johnny Rocket. You're right.

How you been? Otherwise. Oh, I've been pretty good. Except I did lose the Comics Gate Live EBS cover contest. The Maniac lost in the first round. Oh, that sucks. That's too bad. Yeah.

Why? Who won? Well, that's part of the... Like, it got down to... Vasilis Loloos of Hebe Punk and Patrick Quidlin of River of Blood but before the

final vote the guy behind the competition called in and it was like I want them both to win actually So you got They brought in a ringer at the last minute You got screwed over Oh no no no no I'm just being silly

But the But it would have been nice for like them to go head to head head and then the guy go actually first place and second place win yeah okay so what's what's your new comic super killers what's that about well i'm glad you asked he said he's done coloring he said he's all done coloring and the comics uh is sure to come out soon did you see that oh yeah it's it's gonna be a photo finish i think okay so what's yours okay so super killers is is a hilarious new 41-page graphic novel,

a dark comedic superhero adventure written by me, Johnny Rocket, produced by that internet rascal Clipper, and the provocative visuals are done by the exceptional artist. Ray Ray is happy, who could not be here today. He thought the show was tomorrow. Yeah. We love him, though. We love him.

And this is the cover. I'm showing the cover right now. It's obviously super killer With the girl Who's hotter on your version And that gay little robot That he's got And then there's the power rangers

Are you guys killing the power rangers on this one? Yeah, that's the first target It's the power rangers Oh wait and then there's Vito behind Behind you guys Yeah Vito is a character Vito is a character

He said you're allowed to do this He said we're allowed to do this He said we're allowed to do all of this. Wait, no, he didn't. When did he say that? Oh, well, for the veto thing, he said veto is a character, Go nuts. That was his response to the draw veto contest. Go nuts. Okay, so that's why this is happening because he said go nuts, drawing him.

Well, part, like, I mean, a few years ago, he dared Riley to make his own comic. and his response to all the Super Killer fan comics has been like, this is awesome, I love it. And then last fucking night, when you pulled up Super Killers, he was like, oh, this is great. You pulled up Riley's tweet about, we're selling our own version of Super Killer,

but Super Killers. And he was like, this is great. So we have permission every possible fucking way. Johnny, are you sure he didn't just misspelled donuts? Hmm Where are we instead of go nuts? Oh, go nuts, donuts, yeah. Fuck, you're right, we're screwed.

Well, you have some very talented people working on this. When is it supposed to be out? Three or four years? Ooh, no, we're really cracking the whip on Ray Ray. He should have it out. July 4th. Really? Of this year.

Of this year, yeah. July 4th. That's quick. Okay. Where can people go get more information? Oh, superkillers.org. Why is it Superkillers with an S? Or is it a Z?

With an S because it's, well, it's, you know, it's a team. It's Sam Beck and Arty. So you're just doing Vito. comic, but it's the whole team is the name Superkillers. It's brilliant, isn't it? Settle. Very.

Okay. And you're going to get this out. Are you going to send are people who backed Superkiller and didn't get, are they going to get a copy like at a deal? Or what's the deal for this?

Oh, okay. So, well, one of the things we're doing since it's coming out July 4th is American shipping is free. The rest of the world can go fuck themselves, though. You will be charged for shipping if you're a foreigner. Sorry, that's the break. Yeah. That's pretty good. That's pretty fucking good.

Is Vito's comic free shipping? No, no, no. He's he he did an update What was it like a year ago now where he's like you're going to be charged Additional shipping when the book is finally done so if you bought Vito's super killer Who the fuck is gonna pay for shipping after four years? Fuck it Nobody

Like imagine a DoorDash guy showing up at your house like three months after you ordered dinner. Hey, here's your Kung pal. Well, after being reminded of it, I'd get pissed and ask for a refund. Oh, that's one of the comments on Vito did a super killer update recently

and like the top comic comment was, hey, I just remembered I bought this, I'd like a refund. Well, see, they're a good man. Well, I was happy that he was seemingly done, but

That's happened to me before. I'm like, oh, good, you're done. I need a finished product on this table. But now the second he's done, you guys have your own comic, huh? Yeah, it's hilarious timing. Okay, so free shipping for Americans. Probably double shipping for foreigners, I would think. But at least some, at least you got to pay some shipping.

Okay, is there any, do you want to give us some what happens? Like, what's it about? Okay, well, here's the premise. What if Sam Beck and Artie had an adventure outside of a diner? Okay. So we pick up where Super Killer One ended. So this is like the second fuck So you get the first one and then really right

Or maybe you get the second one first And then the prequel shows up that you bought from Vito Three years ago Is that how it might work? Exactly exactly You might Some people might end up paying the shipping Just to better understand super killers

But I think we did a good job You don't really need Super Killer One Oh, okay. Because you have like the story thus far at the beginning, right? Exactly. Exactly. Yeah, it's incredible.

And then are you doing a third issue? Oh, of course, yeah. We're already working on the script. Script for the next one. So people can either follow this timeline, a super killer regular comics or they could wait for

or they could wait for what maybe Vito will just jump in there and make an issue for you guys with your timeline maybe I don't know I'd love to hear his ideas as far as annoying stunts go this is pretty high up there

oh do doing an entire, like, cool art project. Yeah, and making a miss you too. Yeah. Yeah. It is ambitious. And we had to do, like, five Discord calls to bring this together. I don't blame Vito's comic for being a few years late.

It is challenging to do these. How are you making sure the colors are right and stuff like that? How many yo-yos do you get if you back here, your superkillers.org comic? Yo-yo's and lunchboxes. Do you have anything like that? Oh, no. There was plans for that because of those goddamn patriotic tariffs against Kami China. The merch is simply not an option at this time.

yeah that makes sense maybe you could just pick up some yo-yo's oriental trading catalog throw them in the throw them in the let's put a sticker over the top yeah or we can just mail people dog shit

yeah okay superkillers dot org what does the winner get if I if I get your comic if I get your comic if I get your comic first What do you win?

Like, what do you guys win? What does Vito win? Who has ever comic I get first? Wins. Yeah. Yeah. Everything in the Vito's booty treasure trove. Yeah, they win everything in the, okay, bingo.

That's the, who's ever gets, who's ever comic I get first, gets all of the Vito's booty stuff that I have. That is quite the horde. That could be one. That could be worth like $70. Yeah, yeah. At least. Yeah, at most. I mean, I got some good shit here, man.

I don't even know what this is. I don't know what this is. It's something good. It's wrapped in like a good box. Let's see. It's a glitter box. That's a big box. It is a big box.

It's a... I don't know. Oh, okay. It's a racist... It's a crow. Pop Funkopop crow So you would win this

Johnny Rock it Yeah it's pretty cool That's pretty cool Wait did they stop Making funco pops or something Did they? I could have swore that was a story

I don't know I don't get a lot of funkop That might be the last racist Funko pop Yeah it could be the last one We got if there's a black Funko Pop I have it in this studio somewhere Ooh, yeah, that could be pretty fucking good.

That's pretty tasty prize. Yeah, okay. All right. You got anything else? Thank you for what you're doing here. Very impressive. Oh, yeah. One more thing.

We got Vesilis Lolos, 2008 Eisner Award winning artist. He's doing the B cover. So you can get Ray Ray's cover. You can get Vasilis's cover. You get Eby, Canales' cover. you can get all three. Just do whatever. Wait a minute. Is this art from the comic?

What is this? It's like Vito on a scooter. With Crocs. Yeah, yeah. Vito Talente is a character in Superkillers. He's Sam's manager, he's Sam's supervisor. A gelato aficionado?

Yeah. He really fucks over Sam a lot by giving him bad info about the heroes he has to fight. Oh, okay. All right. It's a real exploration of the relationship between a creator and their creation, like a Frankenstein kind of thing, except the doctor Frankenstein is a pedophile. Exactly. You've read the script.

Okay. Yeah, I got it. I didn't realize Riley shared it with you. I get it. Hey, did you think Frogtony was telling the truth when we were interviewing him last night? Any of that stuff? No, no, I don't think he was. I mean, they say when an innocent man is accused, he gets really pissed off.

But I don't know how like, how an innocent, retarded accused person acts. So it's up in the air. I think, I think, I don't know who came up with that, that saying. Because I've heard that too, but I've never seen it in play. Like, I've never really, I've never seen anybody do anything but get upset at everything. So I don't know, I don't know why they would say that. When an innocent man gets accused, he gets really upset. Like, yeah, what a guilty people do?

They really get upset. so man I don't know I think that just sounds good to say it makes people upset it makes people upset even hearing it

does that mean you can just always be upset not so innocent today I'm a good man you don't understand Dick I'm a good man you don't understand how good I am ah if that was true

I guess Epstein would be like crying all the time when he was in jail. Yeah. I don't know. Did he have a good time in jail? I hope so. He earned it. He earned a break. You know, imagine trying to juggle all that shit all the time.

Who's raping? Artists working band in politics. Like if you give the wrong blackmail, like, oh yeah? Well, how about I leak that you fucked this little girl? You're like, girl, I didn't fuck. I didn't fuck a little girl I'm gonna go do whatever I want I'm gonna vote against funding for Israel

Wah and Epstein's like What the fuck I thought? Oh, it was a little boy Fuck I got my wires crossed You know It would be a lot of work To keep all that blackmail Straight what are you blackmailing the wrong country

What if he's using the wrong Rolleracks that day Yeah And he's like I thought I blackmailed the right I got all the weapons sold Ukraine like you idiot mutley you were supposed to get the you were supposed to stop the weapons to sail to Ukraine you're like oh yai yai you know what do I do with all the raped little girls little kids Fortnite get him in fortnight be hard and he can't write it down so he's really working at him

imagine if you couldn't write that shit down like you're not going to go to click up and write like 10 rapes coming up coming your way do you think his memory palace looks like what's that you never heard of that stupid shit people do where they're like well if i if i start with this memory and go to this memory like oh i can trace my step it's like some fucking schizo shit what are you talking about sherlock holmes thing oh sherlock homes which is basically some skits over tarded shit but i always thought that concept was so funny i start with this memory yeah you can like if i start with the memory of soul ringers yeah yeah then where do i go you can i that's all up to you

Like you have to create this like mental place where you're like, I have all my things in hand. I don't know, actually. Hmm. I think it's just as retarded. I could probably do that with pornography. I remember the first Lucy Wild video. Right.

That goes to this. Yeah, that's. I went to Marilyn Murkova. Yeah, okay. But I just imagine him in jail just can't write anything down, can't keep notes or anything. He's just like inventing these fucking insane worlds to live in. Yeah, like second.

second life. For creeps. He's just been logged into second life this whole time, maybe. I don't know. Okay. John, you got anything else? No, we're good. Check out superkillers.org, everybody. Thanks for having me on the show.

Yeah, good luck. Good luck with your space race. I hope. I actually, I don't know. Maybe Vito deserves a W, but somebody's going to get it. Somebody's going to get that W. Somebody's going to get my ass a comic.

It's the show where everything's a contest, man. And they will be the true super killer. And then we can... It's a fight for the IP, yeah. It's a fight for the IP. Because whoever gets it out wins. They're the first to use it in commerce. Well, technically, in the Maniac 1, Super Killer appears for a panel.

Oh, that's not going to work. Tell it to the judge. That's not going to work. Oh, fuck, you're right. I need a full comic or else it's void. All right, buddy, have a good one. You too.

Happy Easter, Crisis King. Crisis King. Those guys. Oh, they got a whole, are they, they have a whole page? They have a whole Indiegogo page up for Superkillers. Everyone probably doesn't think it's as funny as I do,

but it's also just so cathartic to at least finally see something with it, you know? Yeah, to see it done properly. Okay, what do I got? What else do I got here? LinkedIn is searching for, oh, LinkedIn, every time you log in is searching your computer for browser extensions that are anti-Zionist. Did you know that existed? Did you know you could get anti-Zionist, anti-Israel browser extensions? Wow.

I don't know what that would be. Anti-Israel browser extension. Ad blocking? Yeah. I guess all of them. I just need one more ad about old Jewish people going hungry.

You can't spell ADL without ad, man. Yeah, ad limiter. Did everyone hear that ad on the radio? where it's like these old Jews are they just need a couple of bucks to get a sandwich they're starving am I the only one that heard that

because I listen to all the I always listen to talk radio I know like Tom Likis and stuff and every Christmas that shit on AM would make the rounds like these old this lady Yvina Kifrinz

she's dying because she hasn't had a sandwich and she can't eat and I remember listening this going where the fuck are these Where do they find these people? Are they in America? They never say on the ad.

I have no idea if there even exists. They don't. They're always starving. Yeah. I hope someone got them some food. The truth. It's easier to get someone food and then make a radio ad.

A lot of work that goes to do a radio ad. Yeah. There's all these cuts and stuff. Mike set up. Why don't you get them some snacks? Did you feed her while you were filming this ad? Maybe a coffee and some Pop-Tarts? I'm still hung up on that, by the way.

If I ever see a homeless person with a cup of coffee, I'm smacking that shit right out of their hands. The fuck do you need? The foam in it. It's a fire extinguisher foam in it. We've got to turn L.A. around. There is the governor, California governor, and the L.A. race. It's heating up, and I swear to God, I think we have a shot at getting a Republican governor or something.

I don't know. I don't know. I was all hype on Spencer Pratt last week, but then I saw this poll that came out saying this woman who's a democratic socialist isn't in the lead and I said you gotta be fucking kidding me God damn it. But that's okay

it's okay as long as as long as because she was like Indian or something she wasn't she wasn't black which is like put a Mexican in there okay like it's different it's different kind of I don't know a word

that's safe to use there I just whoever gets in there they need to start killing criminals which I think even I think a democratic socialist Latino would or is capable of doing you'd hope I'm pretty sure killing criminals and executing criminals and making being homeless a crime those are the two yes are the two things that we need to fix LA kill criminals and criminalized new things. Nothing else, really.

Nothing else is going to fix it. Dude, than that. Driving through Hollywood and you see those, like, no street vendor signs. It's like, I don't give a fuck about the street vendors. Get the fucking homeless people out of here. The street loiters. Get the street consumers out of here.

Yeah. This guy's got a fucking extension cord going across the staples parking lot. From the fucking street light. Yeah, they're replacing the streetlights with aluminum cables. I don't even know why wasn't aluminum used first. Like, I don't know. Yeah.

Does that, is the light going to be worse? Because the cables are aluminum now? Maybe. They got it. They got to go. That's, that's number one. Priority number one. Maybe switch it.

Maybe make homelessness a crime. And then execute criminals. I don't know. As long as those two things happen in any order you want. But that's what we need. Dude, sometimes working on sunset, it's just like, wow, we just let these fucking insane homeless people like walk through traffic and, like, throw rocks of cars and shit. and just like,

and not do nothing. Do not. Not do a goddamn thing. Nobody bats an eye, man. No. I sit there and film it because that's funny. But. Yeah.

So hopefully, Democrats changed the law like a long time ago so that there would never be a Republican running. Yeah. So it wasn't the primary wasn't in California. It wasn't like whoever won from both parties to run against each other. It's just the top two.

Yeah. Because that was always Democrat. And now everyone's so pissed off. it's two Republicans in the lead. So now they're kind of scrambling to figure out how they're going to cheat. Cheat them out of it. Obviously, they're not going to allow that. Rev up those voting machines, man.

Dude, we need the military, man. We either need the military or we need MS-13 to come in and save the day. Yeah. Somebody's got to put guns in the voting booths. I see a lot more MS-13 tags than I do with military tags. Nice, dude. Yeah. I've seen a lot more gang tats than I see camo and grab assing.

I see a lot more skull bandanas than I see fucking bolo ties. We need them. Okay. Asshole judge. Oh man, this is pretty good. Guy gets pushed in front of a train. Let's see here. That sounds like an average day in India.

Yeah, right? Are the Indians? When do the H-1B people start getting pissed that their jobs are being offshoreed to India? That's what I want to know. Then we got trouble. These friendly fire at that point. Yeah, because the Indians will not take that sitting down.

Yeah. And they're going to know. They're going to know right away. Like, what's my job? My $50,000 a year project management job? You offshoreed that to India? What the fuck am I supposed to? do.

Not going back to India. Oh, you're going the fuck back, yeah. Okay. LA water bells. A guy gets pushed in front of a train. Let's see this. Okay, here's the guy.

Whoa. God damn. Wow. These guys sneaking up. This guy's sitting in front of a train, mining zone business. Man, I'm so paranoid of this now. Yeah.

If I ever get near a train, so paranoid that some cracked-out weirdo is going to shove me onto the tracks in front of a train. Look at this guy. Look at this guy's timing. The criminal. Wow, dude. Because the last thing you want is to be late or early

if you're going to shove somebody in front of a train. You're sitting there with your dick in your hand. And you're just like, whoa, look. He's like, what the hell was that? It's so impeccable timing on the criminals part. but this guy's just like Mac from Always Sunny like he couldn't be moved

Look at that God damn Wow Whoa It would have been awesome if you to turn around It just fucking decked him Beat the fucking brakes off of him Yeah pulled out a sap

Wacked him Knocked all his teeth out Waxed the shit out of him yeah Hmm Okay Uh Buhbub Bough Buh

LA water bill Yeah Yeah Yeah Oh Cyclists got stopped on the freeway That was a good one Let's see here

Dude They trapped all these bicyclers on the freeway Uh California Highway Patrol Bridges Yeah yeah yeah They're doing one of their stupid takeovers Oh freeway On March 28th

2006 The California Highway Patrol notified the San Francisco Police Department of a large group of bicyclists in San Francisco, who may be a part of a planned Bay Bridge takeover. Multiple CHP and SFPD units responded. SFPD's Real-Time Investigation Center conducted surveillance on the group providing intel and updates. The large group of bicyclists then attempted to enter the Bay Bridge via the Harrison Street off-ramp against traffic. SFPD and CHP units were able to successfully stop the group before they entered the freeway,

and again stopped them from going back onto San Francisco streets as they rode back down the off ramp. They got him trapped. A large group was detained, processed, and cited without incident. All bicycles were seized before sundown. Their bicycles were smashed. Their bicycles were given, along with 85 bicycles stored. Their bicycles were shoved right up their ass. Sort of steamrolled the whole thing.

Their bikes got shoved up their ass, and then they got pulled out, and their owners were identified, and they got shoved up their ass. You remember a time where it was like, shit like that these coordinated like yeah let's do like a takeover the baby or like let's make the world's biggest pizza or like when people would like try to do things just because like

like Guinness World Records stuff. It's like a novel thing and now it's like now that all of those things have kind of been done it's like it's not cute it's just annoying fucking annoying yeah like today's national cheeseburger day today's and it's like people do all this shit well obviously

it's like companies trying to promote a product right but it's like people trying to look it adds whimsy in my day because I have something to wake it's Doritos day today can you believe it like I'm gonna go fucking kill yourself day today fuck you like can't the corporations like bid on that stuff so it's like don't donut day okay just have every day be like a what already is that's the thing and so for like item day it's gonna be a bridge takeover it's like go home it's our like the dopamine from that has already been gone and like no one can't

cares about that anymore. A cyclist are just the worst at it. They love, they love taking over streets. And they're the worst at it, yeah. They're the worst people. And it's in the middle of the fucking day that they're doing this. I was fucking honking out of a bicycle the other day. It was great.

What are they doing? You know, when you're fucking, when you're on those two-lane, fucking shitty, cramped-ass roads, I guess it's technically four lanes wide, but, like, in Hollywood. I never know which one it is. If someone says two lane road, I'm like, is that two lanes going both ways? Right, yeah. Is that just two total? But you know how you get like one lane and then it's cars that barely are like,

just take up the whole lane being parked? Yeah. So then you're kind of in the other side anyway. And then you get some fucking bicycler coming through. Just like, they get ahead of you and they make it a big deal to get ahead of you and like, what the watch her? And it's like, watch where I'm going like, dog. Watch this.

You don't know where you're riding. Like this is the most like user high. hostile fucking place to be. Yeah. Like, there's a reason you should be in a car. You're getting stabbed by a homeless person otherwise. We've got to turn the... We've got to give the homeless bicycles.

And then make it legal to run them over. Yeah. That's cool. Yeah. Okay. Here's an interesting study that I found. They did this study that said, male refugees from Afghanistan and Syria and Germany

show a keen interest in forming relationships with local women, but local women show little interest in forming relationships with them. How about that for a study? They studied that. I didn't realize it needed to be a study. Apparently it did. Damn.

Those were the findings. Isn't that amazing? Overall, our, yeah, our results indicate a high level of openness among male refugees towards partnering with female members of the resident population, but comparatively low level of openness

among the latter towards partnering with recently. arrived male refugees. This applies a substantial incongruence. Wow. Someone got paid to write all that shit.

And to study it. That's unfucking believable. Let me make sure it's not like an April Fool's joke study. Maybe it is. I have been tricked before. Journal of Family Studies? Link. Yeah.

Thanks. Thanks for that link. Retard. No, he's a real guy. A real retarded guy did this. His last name's D-Gen? That's cool. Rolf D-Gen.

It's all written in German, though. I can't tell what he's saying. I read that 99 luf balloons shit. This is a guy. Look at he has some kind of weird apples painted on his profile. What's he doing? Fucking weirdo. Fucking weirdo, man.

Is it a match? The congruence partnership. What the fuck? This guy a groper? It's like the most like HR department way of being like yeah, no one wants it. What the hell?

Yeah, they have to say everything like that now. They're allowed to say it, but they gotta say it like that. It just has to be very like... The incongruence. There's no personal opinion in this whatsoever. This is just purely observations. Study on the smoke detector.

frequency God actually they can hear it but choose to ignore choose to ignore it somehow somehow uh okay mark says

hey dick and John see just when things are starting to pick up on biggest problem and everything is going well then these guys these clowns drop this super killers comic and mess everything up a bunch of jokers

looks cool it does look cool oh yeah okay and they got they put Fitos I don't care go nuts they put it on the

and he did actually say go nuts I got a look at this Super killers number one never meet your heroes all right oh wow it's cool

wow of Rick and Morty portal Uh, meet the cats Well, there's only one way to stop him. You got to get it out before them. That's it. Yep. Uh, Mark.

Hey, Dick and Johnny. Uh, and tits, again, tits aren't big enough. Come on. Come on, guys. Uh, make that a stretch goal. Hey, Dick and Johnny. I'm a, uh, um, 24 years old. And recently moved.

to the states from the Caribbean. I struggled to text with the girls around here. I even have issues with the self-proclaim sluts. You have issues with self-proclaimed sluts? What do you mean? Dog, I saw this email. I'll tell you what my response is after you finished reading it. Wait a minute, he said he's a picture attached.

Attached image-related. I downloaded Hinge and matched with this mid-black girl, de-cup tits and a little chubby. what does that mean in conversion one to ten one to ten ratio when she sits around the waffle house

is she around the waffle house has her blood at the same thickness as the syrup I got her Instagram linked at the bottom if you care okay yeah I have I have a image in my mind of how chubby

she is let me let me see if that checks out out. Let's see. What can I search for here? Moved to states. Come on. Come on, going, going, going. Yeah, here we go. Okay, this is her Instagram. Pick in your mind. How fat you think she is. Chubby, yeah. I think Michelin Man, chubby. Like, full on tires. You know, originally Bibendum was black. Did you know that? The Michelin Man?

Yeah. His name is Bibendum? Yeah. It's like a wizard? Yeah, pretty much, dude. Look up black Bibendum. It's great. What?

Black Bibendum? Yeah. His name is Bibendam? I'm murdering the pronunciation because I'm from fucking Southern California. What the fuck? Yeah. That motherfucker was black?

Yeah, dude. The Michelin man was, well, he's tires. Yeah, I guess he would have to be, he should be black. Why the fuck is he white? Why is this whitewashed ass fucking bebend? Why is his name Bibendum? It's French for like, uh...

Antiann word. They called him Bendom at first. What the fuck and they got a... Man, I don't want to see this. Dark soul shit when I get my tires changed. He was like an actual physical mascot that they built out of tires. Oh, wow. And he looks creepy.

He's fucking insane. He looks like. that guy from like the skeleton stole Christmas oh the fucking ugy boogie boogie except really

demonic yeah if I saw that shit I would not get my tires change there he's terrified look at this shit does you have a cigar for the promo picture

that's cool black pendantum vintage black babbendum vintage black Bibendum. Vintage Bibendum.

Black. Should have brought that in for black history. What the far? Yeah. The one time, the first time, the first historical figure who was actually black. Babendum. The Michelin Man was black and he's been whitewashed. That's the answer forever.

Yeah, okay. So you will get Legulus back when you guys black up the Michelin Man again. Because he is not supposed to be white. He should be tire colored. He should be the color of the fucking tires. Maybe a white wall or two. Right. But he should be black.

Look at this French fuck. It looks like Dark Souls. It does, dude. He's got a little mustache in there. Man, imagine the smell of that being that tire man. No, fuck it would hot. It would be in there. God damn.

You probably could do whatever you want. Like, bam. Trying to smoke a cigar while you're fucking in like a mini sweat lodge is insane work. All right. So he's over here trying to fuck black Bibendum. Okay, so yeah, so in your mind,

figure out how fat you think she is. And I'm going to click on the link. Get a picture in your mind. I'm thinking Bibendum. For sure, yeah. Or the hippo from Madiascar. She is barely.

Barely. I wouldn't, well, I don't know. Yeah, I guess chubby. A little, yeah. Usually you want to see The shoulders should come in At some point It doesn't look like there's elbow dimples though

But you can still see a defined elbow There is an elbow So there is There's not cabbage patch elbows Right It's a human being elbows John Merrick elbows Yeah

Yeah Okay yeah You're right Chubby The attached image was the first message She sent I said I love a woman that knows what she wants You like a cliche machine? What do you?

Who says that shit? What are you like? Did you say it in a voice? Like I love a woman that knows what you're on It's like a vaudeville voice He just watched Casablanco Oh is this the image that he says? I believe so yeah Okay so the image she sent was oh here's the image it didn't attach for some reason Oh, I think I know the reason. You're a huge retard.

Yeah. That's the reason when my Gmail messes up and doesn't attach things, that's typically why. It didn't attach for some reason. Oh, yeah, the reason was me, but, you know, it was some reason. Some fucking idiot forgot to attach this image. Who was that? Me. Yeah, can you believe that?

I was hoping you wouldn't ask. I was hoping you'd have the... courtesy not to ask me. Some fuckhead made us late because they had to stop a jack-in-the-box to eat and then spilled all over themselves. Who's that? It was me. And I'm shocked that you don't have the courtesy of not asking who it was.

I'm shocked that you didn't pick up the context clue of the barbecue sauce all over my fucking shirt. Some fucking idiot had to shit, so I'm late. And ran out of toilet paper. How to use a paper towel. I'd use my shirt. I'd use her shirt. That I'm wearing currently. She says, I'm a professional slut.

Like a hooker? Don't match if you're looking for love or a serious relationship. I'm not neither. Two roses. Bro, it's a fucking hooker. Just a hot cunt is all I am. Yeah, the roses mean hooker. She says, I'm not neither.

I ain't not neither. I said, I love a woman that knows what she wants. She replied, I appreciate the compliment. Thanks, baby. I said, all right, beautiful. What do I need to do to see that cunt? Dog, okay. So I saw that.

I couldn't even finish the rest of the email. I started laughing so fucking hard. I got bonitis. Fucking, dude. All I replied to this was with dead in all caps and three skull emojis. I was like, dog. Hey, baby, so what do I got to do to see that cunt? Yes.

I was like, who the fuck says that? You're mimicking. You know, you want to mirror them. You want to mirror them, and they like that. Women like mirroring. So you want to mirror them. All right, baby, what do I got to do to see that hot pussy cunt you got over there? Jeez.

He saw the word and was like, now I have to use it too. And it was like, hey. I got to out-crass her, the prostitute. I think I was crass the band over here. Holy shit. I got a fucking crass band. Man. The big crass band.

When he's, when I read that shit. And a two. And a cunt. Jesus. Dude, I couldn't stop. I laughed at it when I woke up to it. All right, beautiful. What do I need to do to see that cunt?

Unfucking believable, dude. I'm like, wait. second. This guy said he's 24. I'm like, where'd you learn to talk like that? Like a fucking retard. Like, what is? All right. Is it a bit of all?

ESL or something? How do you think that's going to go? All right. What do you think he's going to fucking send you a picture for fucking spread legs? Why do you want that? Why do you want that? You got to have a new desktop or a phone background. And then what?

You're going to poke your finger at it? Like, you can feel like, like this bitch sent me here. Look at this bitch sent me here, cunt. That's Arby's man. That's a big Montana. I've been to... I had that for lunch.

That's the fucking... I just like... The fuck are you doing it? From zero to like fucking 10,000. First of all, you should... Your instincts should be telling you that this is a man. If you're reading shit like this,

like this is... I'm a professional slut. Your brain should be going, man man man man Indian man India man That da da da da da Dada

D'r dear D'er D'r I'm trying to do a Sitar version of the Superman I still keep thinking of when the Beatles went to India God they really fucked us didn't they Because they made it seem like Oh look at all this like

Magical shit magical mysticism and it's like no dude it's a bunch of people shitting in the street and like raping monitor lizards like that's fucking crazy was it really that was it that fucked when they went like did their population just explode or something i don't know dude because it happens when it's like when you go to resort side of mexico right yeah oh see look at how nice mexico is yeah wow everybody's got white pants on over here then you go around the block and you're like oh shit nobody's got pants on Legs over here. What the fuck? Okay. All right, beautiful. What do I need to do to see that cunt?

Then she unmatched me. Dude, again, I couldn't stop laughing. Man. Have you seen people talk like this on television? No. That's a good indication that you shouldn't be talking like that to women. It's so like, no one. Talks like that ever.

You ever see anyone on JAG? Go, all right, beautiful. How do I got to do to see that cunt? Then she unmatched me. I was just trying to match to her freak, but it seems to have been the wrong move. Yeah, because she's a hooker. The average hinge bumble girl will either send one word replies

or nothing at all. Even the super fat bitches are like that. How do I talk to these women? Put that you're six foot three in your profile. 6 foot 3 Rich That you're Trust fun

Whatever Put an AI picture of yourself Just lie There's no There's no point If you're not If you're not lying And they don't even care

Women, they don't know They can't tell Fucking dis They can't tell 40 feet tall If you're 40 feet fucking tall They'd go ho What are you 510

Are you 6 feet tall For who Who cares Fuck them Um how do I talk to these women? Well, do that stuff I said, but also this is a prostitute or a man.

The roses should have been, the way she's talking should have been, when she said a professional slut, that was code for a fucking prostitute. My guy, you need to brush up on your accent, fry up some conch fritters, and fucking go about your day. Is there anywhere that I could get some marijuana in this you're fucking soliciting a prostitute you dummy

what do I got to do to see that cut you got to pay her 200 bucks that's where there's two roses you dumb dickhead she's just a big uh Derek Rose you sound like a fucking cop yeah like a 1920s cop let me see that so what do I got to do exactly to see that hot cut fucking Dick Tracy on the scene over here

fucking dickhead Tracy on the scene over here fucking dickhead Tracy I was just trying to match your freak but it seems to have been the wrong move he came off as a freak yeah oh yeah I already read that part P.S before writing this email I liked one of her pictures on insta and said damn girl

matching matching with you on hinge was a gift from God all uppercase God don't be fucking track or you know what do it fucking stalk them wherever what the fuck do I know they're props find them in Roblox fucking send a picture of your dick in Minecraft Who the fuck cares?

Build a big dick in Minecraft Yeah This is my cock, life size It's like the whole map It's to scale What is her Instagram? Is she a prostitute on Instagram? I mean

If this is even the same girl It's possibly not the same girl buddy But this looks like This does look like look like a prostitute. Oh, yeah. This is some kind of Trinnebago and prostitute. I think.

If I had to guess, you got brawn panties picks here for pretty much no reason. You got weird astrology shit, but it's mostly selfies. AI doesn't look anything like her. know your ho that's my new series the more you're down what is and is not a hooker

um she actually replied to that message before I clicked on this email okay was that it how do I talk to these hos that's it last update for now she didn't unmatch me on hinge

her account got banned oh I'm pretty sure she's telling the truth since she's an only fan's girl Okay. Yeah, so she's selling shit. Her account probably got reported because of app promotions. In Maryland, every third girl on dating apps was clearly a bot or an Indian promoting only fan. This was the first only fan's girl I matched in Florida, and she was actually running the Insta account.

We sent voice messages for a bit, so I was caught off guard by the OnlyFans link an hour later. You were sharing voice messages with an Indian man, probably. AI. Do I move on? Or should I troll this lady for a while? You want to troll a... I mean, you're not trolling. You're just like hoping to get your dick in the door. Like... An A door. Yeah. There's no such thing as trolling women. It's just desperate, desperately seeking their affection. You fucked up and now you're gonna say, troll this girl by sending her some money. Wouldn't that be funny? What have I sent here? A hundred bucks. That would really show her.

check it out I've been sending her 100 bucks every day and then I'm going to take it away yeah she doesn't even get it I don't really care okay

next level trolling dude ignore them forget that they exist um Mark says I appreciate you I think that was the goofy dude

that guy has some shit going on man I appreciate you I appreciate the Ernest. It's like, oh, man. I appreciate you. Woman alert. Woman alert. Okay.

Woman alert. An Australian woman who said her childhood friend on fire because he made a misogynistic joke is appealing her jail sentence, claiming she developed PTSD as a result of her crime. Oh. Oh, that's cool. How do you get set on fire? Oh, she looks crazy. An Australian woman who set her childhood friend on fire.

That was him? How drunk was he? She doused a childhood friend in petrol and set him on fire. A woman got a gas can and slinged it all over a full-grown man and then set him on fire? Fuck. I don't know about that. He joked that she should see. stay in the kitchen and make scones instead of drinking with the boys.

Why scones? She was raped by a scone. It really set her off. That's probably it, yeah. Hmm. Now he's in some kind of sentence. She'll also allege that she was denied procedural fairness. Yeah, just let it go.

Who cares? What the F have I done? What the F have I done? He just wouldn't stop. She threatened to set fire to the victim, and she did exactly that. She said, I'm going to light you on fire, and then she did it. Good for her. It's more honest than, you know, marrying him and draining his life for 40 years,

sucking all the life out of him. So good for you. And then setting him on fire. And then setting him on fire. And then setting his money on fire. I'd rather just be set on fire directly than see another Amazon box show up. You ever have two Amazon boxes show up in one day? A different times a day, too?

Yeah. You think you just get one, right? Two drivers? You needed two drivers to come here today? Man. I was feeling overwhelmed by his presence. I didn't know what to do. He was antagonizing me.

He told me to go to the kitchen where I belong because I'm a girl. I gave it back. to him and called him a misogynist. Then she went to the garage, returned with a jerry can, consisting of five liters of fuel, and poured it over him, while waving her cigarette lighter around

and saying, I'll do it, I'll do it. Mr. Loder said, go on, do it. And then she said him ablaze, well, then he asked for it. I mean, I mean, you're arguing with a woman, but with a woman like that, you fucking deserve it.

You're sitting there playing these, just fuck her, get it over with. set her on fire yeah fucking give her one of these should have slapped that she should have kicked

that roundhouse kicked that can right out of her right off of her head yeah how you get lit on fire by a woman when asked why she'd committed the crime wallpole said she didn't know and I didn't want to injure Jake

I find it hard to believe that the injuries were caused from what from my doing okay lock her up forever for that one. We're going to have no women left. If we're locking up women for being this crazy, we're going to have nothing left but to fuck guys.

That his third-degree burns were the result. Who scratched my car? I don't know. It wasn't me. Really, it's right where your bumper is. It's so crazy. It's exactly on the part of the rim that I would never touch the curb with. Huh.

It's crazy. I don't know. Wasn't me. All right. Prison. And the cops are going to show up and arrest her? I don't know about that. Ferguson style.

Do the noise things. Do the fucking fire, all that shit. Send out the black Michelin man? Send out a whole team of them. Okay. Chris says Johnny's advice from a few episodes ago. Props to Johnny for some advice he gave a few weeks ago. I took it in my life as a lot more enjoyable because of it.

Oh, shit. I also got this YouTube badge. Thanks and go fuck yourself, Chris. Cool. This is the YouTube badge that he got. Let me pull it up here. It is a top listener of Limp Biscuit. This guy's cool.

This guy's got White Boy Summer fucking... Wow. He's the reason the weather's been getting so warm lately. Man, he's not joking. Look at this incredible award that he got. That's fucking cool. I was in the top 0.25% of their audience. of 30 million in March

He was the top He was in the top One quarter of one percent By this time next year This guy is either going to be the Contractor at a Like the owner of a Granite Countertop business

Oh yeah It is a plumbing company Yeah And a hell of a dirt bike rider Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha Don't get Don't get scoped Don't get

anything out of scope here plumbing company be real careful of that okay Pierce says I made this for myself the second they released on Twitter the ability to see account

by country they need to implement this feature into the app though obviously I'm sure you mostly use Twitter on your phone oh it's a country block for Twitter that he made cool that's pretty cool

if only they would do if only they would do that they got a they've translate the Japanese automatically, they got to scramble up the other countries automatically. India, you know, Malaysia, all that shit. Scramble that shit right up. Do you think the Tower of Babel story happened because it was like God's way of trying to prevent

us from talking to Indians? Yeah, it's told wrong. It was actually a big win. Yeah. And then God scrambled everybody. He made it so they couldn't speak English anymore. God invented segregation real quick. And everyone was really happy about it.

Everyone was like, finally, we're all organized into the correct groups. Yeah. Get the fuck out of here. Don't you guys want to learn how to speak our language? No. It's such a retarded premise too, because then it implies that God is really up in the sky. Like, what the for the fucking... It does imply that.

Right. Like, if God would have just let them build it, he's like, I'm not in the sky. I'm in everywhere. I'm everywhere. Yeah. It's like, that's the lesson. Well, clearly you're in the fucking sky. He's like, wait a minute.

It's also like, it just reeks of like, like prequel poisoning. Where they're like when Indiana Jones gets us that whip and he's like, that's how he got the scar. Whoa. It's like, oh, that's why we all speak different languages because God, they're building a thing. It's like, that's gay, man.

That's fucking prequel shit. Stupid. You mean, it's because of a big tower that are? Okay, okay. So what else then? Like, why is there two eyes? That's the reason I hate my neighbors so much is because of a fucking tower. I don't think so.

Sounds dumb. Sounds like a dumb story. Isn't there something in the Bible where it's like people were, have multiple arms and legs and then they got split up to me? No, that's not the Bible. It's some weird chick shit. I think it's probably some movie that I saw. Probably. That movie where they combined people together.

human centipede. I think it was something like that that I saw. Same thing though. What if they did an updated version where it's like three fat chicks? Human, human kilopede? Bovine centipede. A guy kidnaps three TSA agents. Oh, hell no, I need no.

And the ones just keeps order. I'll have chitlins and fucking ribs. It takes place a no one. Waffle. Yeah. Oh, hell no! The chicken biryani restaurant. Tyler Perry presents.

Medea. The bovine centipede. It's three Tyler Perry's in a row. Kilopeed cross-dressing, three Tyler Perry's cross-dressing, ass eating. I think he would do that so that he could eat his own ass. Yeah. You'd say like, keep pretending to be me.

We need to get into character. um okay cool thanks pierce shitty wastreel says um 220 oh i think this is about a bonus episode it's funny watching them in reverse order all the talk of being busy was referring to his work on the cuckumentary oh i think he's talking about the um but the best debate that's right

because at that time maddox was working on his giant real busy right now of me and and my wife. So we did got to court. I got to watch that shit again, man. Maybe I'll do a screening because I'm the only one with the copy, you know? Oh, yeah.

Maybe I'll get a theater. I'll get a little theater and we'll watch the whole thing every December. You totally can. Maybe we'll just do it online. I don't know. It would be fun. And then fucking bring a little shitty projector.

Yeah. Get a little theater Rent out UCB Actually That would be great It's long It's a long Cucumentary

It is It would be fun To have like a showing Maybe we'll do a little Q&A Or a little A little 15 intermission A 50 minute intermission halfway Maybe we'll do a little soul ringers

Beforehand Warm up the crowd Do some crowd work Chris too says Hi on Maddox He sounded very deflated I can't imagine what they'll talk about The game seems expensive to get back into

Yeah It is expensive If the Star Trek writers wanted to What? That has nothing to do with that They could have used the episode Force of Nature Where the TNG crew met a pair of science meet a pair of scientists who were studying a rift in subspace. I can't imagine the royalty payments.

I don't know what this. Those are two disconnected ideas. Yesterday I saw a video of Net and Yon. Okay, one topic, one topic. Phil from Kansas, or KS. Kansas State. That's not what I thought Justin would look like. I want my subscription money back.

No, I'm sorry. Justin is on the bonus episode with his odules that he brought in as a joke. Fucking joke beer. He had a little flower on his shirt, too, that he was squirting us with, too. And he had two, he had two sound effects on his iPad. Enjoy buzzers. He had fucking squeaky shoes, all the... Spinning around.

Yeah, just nothing but fucking jokes. He had the fucking glasses with the red nose and the mustache. Boy, yoing, yoing. Like the beginning of Peewee's Big Adventure. That guy. Fake hand. And a fake hand for that fake hand, too. Gentlemen sausage

Laugh all you want about that cop But I was once Jumped in an alley by a guy with a laptop Who took my picture and drew a penis on me in MS paint I'd never been so traumatized He made me stay and watch the whole thing By threatening to draw two penises on me If I tried to leave

Wow man I just couldn't live with the knowledge So I had to stay Yeah you really That's true We shouldn't be subjecting the cops To big stars of David's on their foreheads stretching their foreheads out.

The loke says Johnny versus Frogtony. Give us the epic showdown. Sit here and listen to a guy if I can trip over himself. That was funny. Trans-Deaf Brazilian woman sings in quotes,

how did this miss our gaze from three years ago? Well... Is it Beechamuda? I don't know. Let's see how it missed our gaze. Woman alert, woman alert. You know this? Of course you do.

Okay. Type in B. Shimuda in the YouTube. Is she doing it to be funny? No. Okay. Or you can even do the YouTube search bar. Or it's B-I-C-H-A. Okay.

B-Sha-Muda. Is this what you're just watching? This one? Yeah, but there's other ones where it sounds like she's saying she's burning. Someone added music to that too Burning Yes I'm burning

Oh yeah Here's in the Camarines Joe Farro Oh, Jesus They all sound like this Pisha, Muda

Come Jesus I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm

I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm

I'm I'm a good You're very beautiful How did she know to pull the mic away? What was the... Maybe it's just the accent We don't understand, dude

I don't think it's... We just don't speak Portuguese I think we do It's like that nail salon lady Ha-huh, huh, huh Her Be vestida You're going to Joffaw

Hey, Buk, Buh, I'm burning all the time I'm burning. I'm burning. I'm burning.

It's like cries for help, but we don't fucking... Okay. Are they having a conversation or not? I can't. Okay. Okay. I'm not. I'm a baby.

Okay. Okay. Yeah. That's an ancient video, man. That's been around for years. Hopefully she's down. dead now, I assume. Well, after burning for that long, I would assume so.

Bumbing around. Hey, Dick, howdy, Johnny? My name's Cooper. I'm 25 years old and work as a welder in a fabrication shop. Cool. With about two years of experience. I'm married, and my wife and I are currently trying to start a family. Dick, I want to ask you something.

Do you think there is real importance in a name? Since we're hoping to have a baby soon, I've been thinking a lot about it. I'd like to help guide my future child in the right direction, even in small ways. I remember having to look up the meaning of my own name a couple times growing up, whether for school or church activities. I learned when I was about six that Cooper is an English occupational name for barrel maker. Is that true? D.B. Barrelmaker?

I guess, yeah. If you're a Cooper, you're a barrel maker? Hmm. Drive my mini barrel maker around. Guess they were making a lot of barrels back in the day. Fuck. Go to the Cooper over there. The whole name.

The chicken barrel? They were making as many barrels as they were making blacksmiths. That was that important? Fuck. Hmm. Looking back, I feel like that may have subtly influenced me. Uh-oh. Like I was meant to become someone who works with his hands.

You could be a gay prostitute. You're going to be looking back and say, thank God my parents. Name me Cooper while I'm working with my hands over here. What fuck are you talking about? Dick sucky. That's so crazy. If I have a boy, I don't say, don't tell you boy shit like that. If I have a boy, I'd love to give him a name that carries meaning, something he can reflect

and grow into. I use chat GPT for this. My wife has double Ds. That's fantastic. I don't know. I think like, we were kicking a bunch of names around, but the only one that we, the one that we went with had a story behind it. And that was pretty much my, my thinking.

Like, you could pick any name out of a hat and then whatever, whatever meaning you give to that name is just gay. Like, your kid's going to grow up and think like, yeah, my parents had this, like, really fucking lofty idea or whatever. And that's my name. It's fucking stupid. At least if there's a, if there's some kind of story behind it, like, this is this from so-and-so happened in the past. This happened to them. That's why it's your name. That's pretty much the only...

I mean, and I couldn't name my son Hitler. So I went with the next best thing. Why do you ask that question, two dogs fucking? Yeah. But maybe that's not for... Maybe you do want some meaning in your name. Go with whatever's important to you, because it'll probably be...

It'll be important to them, too, even if they hate it. And it's the thing they hate the most is... Name your kid's word, yeah. Yeah. I guess you could name them what's another old English occupational name Coxmith

Cocksmith Joker Jester maxing name him Jester Max That's a cool name Name him Gravedigger Jr. What's an old-timey name with meaning? Just calling pork pie

Yeah I don't think it really matters To be honest Yeah Because people are going to ask And I go oh where'd you get your name and I thought well

at least you never come up empty when they ask that because that's the first thing people oh that's the first thing people ask in certain circles is oh where's your parents get your name and if you leave them with nothing to say

then they're there with their fucking pants around their ankle but at least they could go you know a funny story about that that's a fucking idiot yeah he said I was just like a little baby who didn't know shit

and that he would choose a good name for me. Yeah, but I don't, I guess, maybe it, maybe it matters like you're saying it does. Not a lot of babies named like retarded queer, so. No, they changed their own names to that later on, yeah. Are like, Jesse Lee Peterson's got a girl's name, and he's done and act like a girl.

I had some text support the other day, and they're like, hi, this is Artemis, and I was like, Okay. I'm sure you are. Yeah, are to miss. Uh, okay. My name is Bruce. What do you got here? This is a Fat Watch. And let us know what you go with, bumming around.

There is Earth. Right? Okay. And what we're gonna do is, imagine if... Just like that figure skater who is spinning... What is this? Oh, I remember this one. This guy says Maddox had an idea.

to put wings on the earth. But I didn't even know this stream existed, the 2020 presidential debates. That's crazy. God, I wish she would stream again. Okay. Her arms outward, right? Imagine that figure skater who is spinning her arms outward.

What if we were able to, on two parts of the earth, you know, two or three parts of the earth, build these giant platforms that extended out, not even that far. They don't even have to go that far into space or anything, but they're basically weights that we extend out into space.

Right? So it's the same principle of the figure skater who sticks her legs out and slows down her rotational speed. I need some context for this. Let me get a picture of Earth. She's really tight right here

and then she throws her better. This is the physics behind what my plan is. So why? You guys want to hear this plan? Yes. I think Trump's going to win. Liz Lemon says you can't just claim to know how to manipulate time and not elaborate 402-Kip from Napoleon Dynamite.

Liz Lemon, look, it's not as outlandish. Like, it's based in science. It's based in reality. It's based in fact. It's something we could do to add an extra hour to the day. We can easily add an hour to Earth. Well, not easily. It would take a lot of energy, but we would be able to add an hour.

Think about it. Think about how to add an hour to the day. and you might like guess on your own what my plan is mushrooms all right you guys want to hear this plan everyone's asking me about this

you guys want to hear this plan I'm sorry out for two weeks straight this is Maddox's plan to add an hour to the day that's like a bum drinking coffee dude what does he need

an extra hour in the day for what the fuck is he working on that he needs an extra honest to God hour in the day everyone's brains would be all fucked up. What are you talking about? We would never financially recover from that.

We would never recover. It would be fucked, totally fucked up. All right. Let's hear it. You guys want to hear, you guys want to know how to add an extra hour to the day? Yeah. Let me see if I can find an example of what I'm talking about. Yeah. Okay, yeah, yeah. Okay, here.

Here is how you add an extra hour to the day. All right? So I'm going to show you guys this little video on momentum It's angular momentum Let's see which video is better This is the physics behind figure skating I haven't watched this video before But this will basically give you the principle

On how to add an hour to Earth every single day Okay, watch how this guy's spinning And then look what happens, okay Is that a guy? Okay Watch how this woman is skating Okay, watch her speed when her leg is out. Watch her speed when her leg is out.

Notice how it's slower, and then when she pulls her leg in, notice how angular momentum increases, and then she, she's really tight right here, and then she throws her leg out, she slows down again. Angular momentum is already generated

before spinning and skating on a curve. Okay, got it. So when her leg is out, pay attention, she slows down, how can a figure skater go from skating on a curve to going so slowly. It says it's the angular momentum. Okay, then when she goes down like that,

there's the formula for angular momentum, okay? So you can just apply the same principle to the earth. To the earth. Amazing. So imagine if you have Earth. Here, I'll drop for you guys. I can't believe I'm showing you guys this. Imagine if you guys have Earth.

Let me see if I can pull up MS paint here for you guys. yeah there okay we got banana dogs on the screen oh yeah so goofy okay here we go I'd like to hear banana

so we got bananas on this he loves banana dogs too it's making him so happy seeing that let me get a picture of Earth on here and let me show you guys basically what I'm talking about yeah but it'll look more correct

if he uses a picture diagram for this what is this schizo shit. Okay. Yeah, I was just I've heard bums make more sense. What we're going to do is, imagine if just like that figure skater who was spinning her arms outward.

If the earth was figure skating? Imagine that figure skater who was spinning her arms outward. It's like a sun with sunglasses on. We were able to, on two parts of the earth, you know, two or three parts of the earth, build these giant platforms that extended out not even that far. They don't even have to go that far into space or anything, but they're basically

weights that we extend out into space. He's trying to reach God with those. This is why they taught his people fucking Armenian. Heard like, no, no, you guys can't speak English. You're fucking retarded. Of the figure skater who sticks her legs out and slows down

her rotational speed. We wouldn't have to do it by much. What a fucking weird out. A little bit outside of Earth's atmosphere. Some weights? This is chung-ish science. Just in its atmosphere. You throw some weights out and what's that going to do to

rotation. It's going to slow down. Nothing. And you do it just enough to add one hour every day to our rotation. There you go. There's my fucking plan. Yeah, but it's not like it's infinitely like you have to unwind again.

The Earth is like his favorite toy Arch 180 says dude. Oh my God. We really, this man thinking that he was a serious commentator and also pulling out shit

like we need to build two or three towers on the earth with weights to slow the fucking earth rotation down. Yeah, but then you shrink them in and it goes fast, dude. Throwing both of those out in the same breath is just as

a travesty. Think of what you could do with an extra hour in your day, man. Yeah. Building towers. I could be building more towers that slow the earth. Why don't we stop the rotation? man

we have a 24 hour day of daylight yeah what if we just are a static planet yeah why not two hours you one hour all that work for one hour that seems like a bit much

for we get an hour and a half yeah yeah come on let's make it worth our while give me a whole extra work shift in there not a fucking an hour what is that fucking free lunch break

that doesn't do shit did he say they would even have to be very big, the towers? Yeah, but then if you think of like the scale of what he drew, it's like, we don't have enough materials on the planet. That is not big enough. Yeah, not only is not big enough, but that's bigger than anything we've ever created this far or thus far.

So far, I don't fucking know. It's totally impossible. And it's like, let's say we did build the top part, the part you could see. Like, it would need so much fucking support to not immediately just fall over. That's just totally impossible. There's no material. even conceived of that would support what he's

talking about. He needs two smaller planets on each side that he could just magnetize to it. It's like community college professor. Like I've got this plan that's really going to wow the dumbest people in Well that's what I mean about it being like chungest science It's like well see the answer

To cooling off the out of common desert is just put a big fan there. Yeah Yeah yeah. Put a bunch of water in it. I'm like yeah okay but what's the fucking what's a real answer, though, not this fucking, like, comical Acme arsenal shit.

What a jackass? I think he's happy, though. That's because he saw Badaama Docs. Yeah. He almost did the two bump, the fist bumps to his chest and a little piece sign when he saw him, he's like, man.

Did you send Johnny's corner to say? I did, you did? Okay. I got one fat watch. I forgot to write down the Vinny stuff. Maybe we'll do a weight watcher soon too. That would be great. This is from tyranny.

I thought this was going to be a meme post. Oh, how wrong I was. Oh, boy. Oh, God. 11 things I do. Get out of here. Notifications? Is that like ad libs?

11 things I do as a fat lib business owner that would send traditional plus-size brands into a coma. Dude, diabetic coma. Fat-lives, it's like little... stories, but instead of writing in like the first. Yeah, exactly. I went to the ham. Well, no, it's not even, it's like, it's already

says, I went to McDonald's and got it and then you fill out your order. All it is is you just write down your food. On the way home, I ate a adjective for food. Delicious. A delicious. A delicious. Big. Yeah. Burrito. Catering tray of wings. Dude, we should

We should make fat lives. A book of fat lives. Not mad lives. Fat lives. Fat lives for fat sovs. For real unapologetic fatties. I went to the baseball game and ordered a food at a baseball game. A stadium worth of Franks. And like going to the doctor.

The doctor was fatphobic. I went going to the fatphobic doctor. I finished my leftover food. Spaghetti. Man Somebody clipped this I need a clipper But all my clips

Always get destroyed They always get taken down From everything I know I'm the most Oppressed man in the world Dude fat lives is worth Fat lives is gold

Fat lives is great Dude I was on the way back For my hamburger appointment And And I found a Food

Traditionally Stuck in the side of a chair Corn nuts an entire blue cheese wheel I woke up in the middle of the night and had a dumpster full of dumpster full of pizza

fucking knots garlic knots garlic knots what about a bearproof trash can nachos instead of just trash can nachos you got to put two locks in it to open it

Look at these disco balls She's caught here She mistook them for Individually wrapped Whoppers Wow These are actually her baked potatoes She's eating after the After the shoot

Seven hours to bake them All day baked potatoes God I cannot believe There's a real woman under here You know what's fucked is It took me a second to realize The folds under the caption were the chair.

I couldn't tell where she stopped in the chair. Oh, I thought that was a gunt. Yeah. Man, are you excited about Hacomania as I am? Oh, man. There's going to be a lot of personalities clashing in Hacomania. Clash of the somethings, yeah. Titans.

Watch of the Titans. It's going to be great. I can't wait to hear about it. I model my own designs. Jesus, look at her. Her thighs look like Danny Trejo's face. I was going to say she must work for the Nudson factory. What's that?

Does she do sour cream and cottage cheese? I model my own designs. This designs. Oh, her tits are like in a weird Japanese rope thing. How can I advocate for your right to be seen if I don't exercise my own? Well, she don't exercise is the problem. If I don't exercise my own, what? How can I advocate?

for your right to be seen if I don't exercise. Trick question. I prioritize fat liberation. I decided early, what if I make fat lives and then AI make like a whole fat women's business? Like, and then just do Instagram posts of like, hey, I'm a big fat, I'm a fat queer. Digital fat face. Yeah.

And I made these, I have fatphobic diabetes. Some doctor gave it to me because he'd misdiagnosed me. Dude. I'm selling my fat libs. We could sell it at the Seattle Fat Mall. Yeah. We could sponsor FatCon. Like a sponsor Fat Con for Fat Libs.

Come by, do a fat lib, and then we'll give you a whole roll of Oreos for it. I decide. I prioritize fat liberation. She's got a family-sized pack of Cheetos in her hand there. I decided early on that advocating was more important to me than profits. Of course, I still need to make money to survive, but whenever possible I pick the movement every time. Never.

Once have you picked movement. Yeah. Wow. Mega-sized Barbie. Missprint Barbie? God damn. Barbie Q. I use my platform to advocate for change.

As a disabled person, using my voice, is one of my most effective forms of protests. I create art about social and political issues to help raise awareness and funds for related nonprofits. That's her art. Being in a Barbie container. A big Barbie box.

What a waste of materials. Why is she making that face? Barbie doesn't make like a retarded chungis face. Why is she going like this? What does that say about being Barbie? Why is she storing a fucking cow print? God, she's got four stars tattooed on her stomach Like a battle ship

Yeah Nobody missed Broadside here Foo God damn I go to bat for other brands I know what I do is special So I'm not worried about someone else will do it better

Yeah nobody Nobody could be a big fat whale better than you But I am worried that our community will loose its juice without its leaders so I support my peers and their businesses See she needs the sugar From the juice in the movement

And then she has a quote The tide rises all boats It's not the fucking quote you dumb fat idiot The tide rises Comma all boats All boats These are all boats We're looking at

The tide rises all boats Is that a Is that translated into Uh sugar I center larger fats Me too For most of my life I've been Center them on the ship she means

Yeah because you don't Puppie has that motto too I center larger fats For most of my life I've been the largest person I know And I know a lot of big people It's like a Rodney Dangerfield setup That's not a dig It's just what my heels are doing

It's just a fact I always patterned my largest size first and insist on showing you items on large fats. Why is she hiding behind the balloons? Well, not very well. She's hiding behind. Look, if she doesn't

make a Babendum outfit, somebody who's making fun of us, and they said, the Dick's Fat Watch sucks. It's just Dick's showing a big fat woman, then Johnny says, she probably sweats mayonnaise. She said, that's funny. That is funny. She probably does sweat mayonnaise. Thanks for the joke.

I read it. I was like, That's funny. Yeah, that's a good one. This bitch is sponsored by Dukes, Helvins, and Kupy. I share things about my personal life. I'm an artist, and my experience as a fat person informs everything I create. I can't keep that, all that from you. He could keep a lot of it.

I put fit above profits. Fat people come in lots of different shapes and sizes. So I design clothes that adapt to your body. and insist on rigorous fit testing. The only clothes that would adapt to these bodies is mud. Got to pull her ass out of the mud, too. You deserve clothes that fit you on the first try and through body changes. I guess that is mud.

It's mud. That's the clothes you want. Holy fucking pigs. Mud. She's wearing a really wild bikini. She jumped into a cauldron like a... like a like a village tribe cauldron that she's sitting in

that's probably right every time I build time to rest into every project I'm chronically ill Jesus she's chronically tacos

so my body insists on rest but even if you're not interested not resetting after a big project will help but even if you're not resetting after a big project

will help you stay juicy and avoidment what I'm chronically ill so my body insists on But even if you're not But even if you're Okay if you're not chronically ill Resetting after a breath?

Even if you're not Resetting after a big project will help you stay juicy And avoid burnout Rotating And basting will help you stay juicy Right She's got a whole cake smushed all over her Body

That's fucking disgusting They didn't get enough cake to spread all over They only got... Oh, I couldn't make enough cake. Yeah. I've been... I empathizes my customer. I've been you so many times.

I've cried in fitting rooms. You got into a fitting room? Where? And been disappointed by items that I've ordered that didn't look or fit as promised. They looked like shit as it turned out. She's like, hey, this was the pizza. This doesn't fit in my mouth like was promised.

Ma'am, that's a whole cow. man pizza isn't a funnel this didn't fit my ass this giant toilet that I bought I want a refund I want a better experience for you and we'll do a lot to make that happen why don't you exercise and eat less

that would make a better experience for everyone I wear my designs every chance I get this is a sassy redhead man that hair is that hair is so bright but it's still not bright enough to distract from everything else. Fucking... I wear my designs every chance I get.

It's not just a photo opportunity. Honestly, most of the brands that fit me are making drab clothes designed to hide my body. She keeps saying that and then post pictures of half of her body. My designs always feel boundary pushing while being comfortable. So is rape. While being comfortable and fitting like a dream.

I don't make anything that I wouldn't love to wear. You got to ask other people, the boundaries that you're crossing are clearly not yours You need something called consent or else my eyes are being assaulted She's spilling out of her borders She's spilling over the border of multiple states I support and vand at events and don't always make me money because it's spent on concessions probably Community will never hurt your business okay, what a great that's fucking great thanks Tierney Okay

I... Presenting fat libs. Fat libs. That's gold, Jerry. I like fat libs. Let's do it. You get a free fatlibs if you back Superkillers

with the little S. Oh, there you go. I'll throw in a free copy of fat libs. Fat lids. How much would it cost to print? It's like printed on that newspaper shit. Right. It's not good. Cheat.

I'm 100% gonna make this. Fat lives is stupid. It's like, all you use, write foods. All you need is some stories. Okay,

everybody send me stories. Everybody send me some stories and the premises like at the blank. You know Madliff. It's like at the blank. Every fill in is like a kind of food,

but it's very specific. Right. You know, food that you find in your roles. Yeah. Yeah. Sugary treat. Yeah, exactly.

And the story has to be of a fat person struggling with something. Yes. Trying to get out of bed in the morning to go make a sugary treat. Getting out of bed. That's one of the... Man, I'm excited. I need something to unwind. I'm going to sit back with my fat libs.

Okay. Hey, Dick. Hey, Johnny. It's the notice you're calling back and also the mom therapy guy. Yeah, wow, both of those are me. Hey, so the guy who fucking called last. week left the voicemail chatting shit all right you listen to the dick show

I listen to the dick show we're clearly fucking both autistic this entire fan base is autistic I know I'm an embarrassing human being I don't need you to tell me that being autistic is being embarrassing don't don't take it first

from Johnny's brain right last week that's tight that's the Mickey Mouse characters but he literally does not know how to instigate a fight between two characters other than one of them says, hey, bitch, and the other says, what did you say to me? And they just yell back and forth. What did you say to me? Or what did you say to me? And then they just started fighting. That's embarrassing. Like, Dick, I'm going to be real. You are, you are

autistic, you are high masking autistic, undiagnosed. I'm fucking, like I see it. There's a whole sense of justice, little things you talk about there's a splinter in your brain. It's like, oh, my one arm is shorter now. It's going to be a splinter in my brain forever. Shit like that. that's fucking autism. The reason that in case it wasn't clear, the reason we flock to you is because

you are like definitive and predictable, no sense, like predictability. We fucking love predictable characters where you can like be in a situation and you can just think what would Sonic the Hedgehog do

and you have an answer immediately. It's like, what would Dick do? Pretty fucking clear. We all know what you would do. And you are constantly generating new phrases or at least new ways. Things that I don't know what we talk about, like behavior. I never talk about behavior or like splintering your brain and shit like that.

I can't think of a good one off the top of my head. That's not very autistic of you. You are constantly generating the whole phrases that we love so much. Like, that's my name. You're describing normal shit. said it, not me. Fucking, you know, say it, don't spray it. Like, shit like that.

Fucking autistic people just can't get enough of that. They, like, were only talking a little thing. Say it, don't spray it. Normal people like that, too. Don't you remember? Hey, what's-ah! Remember that shit? That wasn't a bunch of autistic people. Yeah, that was life before the internet, man. That's just how people are. You're describing a fucking sitcom,

situational comedy. People are, oh, I get, what's Kramer going to do? Uh-oh. he's really going to have fucking Kramer this shit up it's not 90 million autistic Americans sitting at home

watching fucking must-see TV I don't maybe you are autistic I'm not fucking autistic you're gonna take that shit from a retarded guy I'm not taking this shit I don't have to take this shit

I say it and I don't I don't think about it for the rest of the day I'm doing other normal stuff yeah I can say it without spraying it so you gotta fucking get your shit together my guy Autistic people do You know what autistic people love?

Taking shits Like yeah Everybody loves that Drinking water Yeah What happened with your mom though Tell us about your mom Maybe he is like this

Totally went the entire opposite way with this Sonic the hedgehog though They do love Sonic the Hedgehog Why That's because they haven't found The Mickey Mouse Clubhouse yet Yeah they don't like Mickey Mouse so much. Except for that one guy. Ernest

is like, that's why he's... I think that's why he's the new club owner, dude. He walked into an empty building. But his Mickey Mouse characters weren't behaving like Mickey Mouse. They were going like... It's because no one was around to supervise this whole time, man. He's got him in there like a sweatshop working. Did you know new cars like

kind of slightly turned for you? And I'm not talking like the Elon Musk auto drive bullshit. I'm talking like lane assist. like moves your wheel. I didn't know this. I got in my mom's car and I'm like, why do the corners feel so fucking weird? And it's like literally

keeping the angle of the road lines for me. Like, I feel like in the future, I'm not sure if this is a bad thing or a good thing, but definitely in the future is all they're going to let us use is a gas pedal. That's it. Here you go, you got to use the gas pedal.

Wee! Like, all we get to choose is how fast we go and within a speed limit probably. Yeah, no way. Like, what the fuck do you mean the shit? You want to go 55 or 54? No, what do you, what's today? Is it today a 50 kind of mood or you want to go 55?

That would be fucking great, man. People just can't, given white people cars is like giving Africa machine guns. Like, we just can't handle it. It makes, it's the worst part of everyone's day. People get all amped up and upset. Like, you know, you get in a car with someone and they just start getting angry at the drive. It's like, just like, this isn't for you. There's no reason to be getting upset in the car the way you are.

Well, that's, see, and that's why we've got to bring back limb biscuit CDs. Because you pop in some new metal. You can, dude, I fucking cut this one guy off in traffic one day. And he got so fucking pissed. I watched him bend his steering wheel into like a football shape. And I was like, oh, shit. Like, I'm getting the fuck to where I need to go. Like, fuck that.

Dude, people lose it. But that's why we need new metal back on the radio. man. And then they could make driver's licenses way harder. If everybody had if most cars were self-driving the driver's license could be like a real achievement which would be great.

Like I don't think my my son probably won't that shit will be illegal. Yeah. If you're 16. There's no fucking way 16 year olds should be driving around. Fuck no. And 16 year old girls they shouldn't let fucking 40 year old women drive around.

No, actually. It would be, instead of like, Danica Patrick in the future, the one woman in NASCAR or whatever, that would just be one woman driver in America. They're like, a woman got her driver's license today on the news. Isn't that amazing? Fucking AI, black guy? Like, that is amazing. Fucking AI.

Muhammad. So, drive just as good as Danica Patrick, too. Yeah, that would be great. I don't really care about driving. I don't want them to put mandatory breathlisers. That I have a problem. with. That's a problem. Because they're going to put that on the fucking self-driving cars, too. I know it. Yeah. They are. And then it's going to be, I can't leave. Really, I can't leave. I got a fucking,

I got a, I got a hot wire my car to drive home drunk. Great. Let's fiddle around with the battery. Man, just fiddle around with the alternator. That's one thing I love about my car, dude. You just push the clutch and you can bumpstart that bitch anywhere. It's going to suck. They're doing too much shit. And hearing that lady say onaliving in public, that's crazy. It's crazy. I totally was thinking that was going to happen, like, years ago. I was hoping it wouldn't, like, when I first heard that term, like, oh, that's, like, going to turn into slang for, like, Gen Z and Gen A.

It's not even slang. They say it on, like, professional channels. Fucking crazy. We are censoring ourselves in person now. Yeah. The Internet is now real life. Like, that's, fuck, dude. Yeah.

I heard the disparate. bear in his voice. I know. We got to do something about these platforms. That's a great call. We got a vibe code us up, some new platforms. Fuck these people. Hey, Dick, hey Johnny. You know what makes me a rage? Child safe packaging. I'm trying to get one of these

button cell batteries like what goes in, you know, your car's key five remote or something like that out of a package. And not only is it secured to the cardboard, it is an inside wrapped in multiple layers of plastic that I have to basically solve a Rubik's cube to

get the thing out. If the kid wants to eat a button cell battery, let them. Fuck them. I like this guy. That was a great call. Great call. All right, here we go.

Oh, God, here we go. I hit you with that one. It was too loud. Sorry. Here we go. Here we fucking go. Well, kind of a continuation of fat watch. Here's a man the harpoons.

Here's a little one I like to call a man the harpoons. Yeah. Is that a leg or a maybe a finger? We'll find out. That is a big fat, retarded one. Literally and medically, yes, that is a big fat retarded one. I want her to open up a show.

I want to do another show and I want her to open it with the dancing. Michael Jackson style, where she's standing out on stage for two. minutes and then does the shoulder shimmy? I want her to do three Michael Jackson songs. The whole song. Including the thing where you put your feet in those stick in those. Yeah.

Oh. Watch the nails pull out of the floor. Oh, it's her arm that had that hair on it. My knees hurt just looking at this. Like to try and like, think of all that weight, dude. That's fucked.

Oh, God, Johnny's screaming. She looks angry Dude she could do it It's the return of Boris Fattonoff, dude I want this I need it I love it I'll need this as an opener

I'll need to do a whole show or something A two hour long opener All right so here's the final boss of the pantry Okay Definitely need audio on this one Uh oh he looks like a goofball that's a big fat guy this is soup Davis

Davis my pronouns are he they okay I hate him already Soup Davis my pronouns are he they and I graduated in 2025 from our print media department so I'm our student services assistant so you'll often see me on campus I'm usually filling up our student pantry that you guys access

filling up the pantry I'm helping manage our bar that we have on campus for different events You've probably seen the gallery crawl, maybe some openings. So if you see me on campus, feel free to say hi. Two fun facts about me are that I'm a big horror nerd. I really like vintage movies. They're probably one of my favorite interests. And then I'm a big bird watcher.

Notice both hobbies include the word big. Yeah. They put that guy in charge of the pantry? Yeah, I'm like, this motherfucker not feeling. A crack addict in charge of it. Oh, I was just putting food back. I was stocking the place. Do they weigh him before he clocks in and out

every day? Right. Make sure nothing's going out to back. Here's a fucking chungus for you. Okay. This one really sucked. Oh man, this one.

I hated this one. Definitely audio for this. Made this battle vest. Yeah. Made some battle vest. And if you don't like it, fuck you guys, I think I'm cool.

Do da, do that. I don't give a fuck you look like cool. D-da-da-da-da-da. Fix those teeth. I made this battle-vests? Fix that of everything. Instead of playing around with

vests. And if you don't like it fuck you guys, I think I'm cool dude da, dude I caught some brain damage on that one. One of those gloves. It's like a coal miner.

And if you don't like it, fuck you guys, I think I'm a birthday of someone who has a coal miner in her family. So I mean, it's possible. She's got that Appalachian West Virginia look. Man, those are.

Those teeth are a fucking mess. She's the rock biter, dude. The teeth keep growing? She's got a lumber pile for a mouth, dude. It's like a guinea pit. A lumber pile for a mouth. Fucking crazy. She gets hit in the face by a log.

Oh, sorry, I thought you were a wood pile. Yeah. I thought you were a lumber pile. Yeah. You just throw a wood on you. Fucking Mrs. Lumbermouth is over here acting tough. I love it. You're going to need some more patches to distract from those teeth.

It's like a big patch right on your fucking head. Dude, oh. Yeah. It's just so silly. Just stop. So this last one, I like that people still do this dick. Again, we talked about the mysticism and wonderfulness of India. Can you believe people still do this shit?

Where they try to walk across coals? Oh, man. As if there isn't enough. It's stupid though. It's like, as long as you do it right, there's no risks. And if you do it wrong, then you destroy your feet.

Like, you're dead. So stupid. You're going to like this one. So here's a little festival in India, like some sort of marriage festival. Okay, here we go. And there she fucking goes. Oh, no.

No. So I saw another one shortly after this. I mean, she doesn't even, it doesn't even start well. Like, she's already falling over. No, it's like she's doing the fake escalator gag. The walking. Yeah, where you're like walking and you could crouch down. She walks straight down into it.

I'd like to see India's version of Quirk Chungasing. I think that's it. Lighting yourself on fire. Just death, yeah. Getting squished by a train. Or a motorcycle or a moving temple or a fucking, who knows what. Even like, it just always looks like shit everywhere. Every building is built wrong.

Every single one. Even the trees are crooked. It's like they stole Brazil's Favila plans, favela maxing. But they took the art out of it. took the poverty of Mexico and they removed the art. That's fucking, yeah. That's what it looks like. So you see in Mexico, the poor, the poor villages of Mexico?

Yeah. Well, we took that and removed the charm. Like, oh, yeah, what is that? Oh, you did. That is what that looks like. You know, because everywhere has it. Like Russia's got it, like Jamaica. Like, everywhere is found a way to like make their,

Mark, artistically at least. This is like well if we just cover some cow shit on top of it. Even Africa, they got like grass huts. Have you seen the shit huts? Oh, dude. Did you reshit your house?

Yeah. I signed that too. What do you think's going to happen on biggest problem this week? Now everyone's excited. Dude, I don't know. Trio Doug's employee of the month. That's such a great. It was so well deserved to. All the shit that guy has to deal with. Oh my God. all Vito has to do is not

flip out about Superkillers and get his comic out That's okay He can do it He can't get it out He's capable of doing it He can do it He just hunkers down And hankers for a hunk of cheese

But no I hope he I don't even know who I want to win I don't either dude I'm glad that I'm getting two comics I want to see a winner Yeah Whether or not it will be winner winner Chicken Dinner

Yeah That's what the winner gets what did I say all the Vito's booty stuff all Vito's and a chicken dinner and the loser gets a chicken dinner loser has to pay for a date at Sizzler All right

Goodbye everybody See everybody