The Dick Show - Episode 506 - Dick on One Thing in Common

Episode Date: April 20, 2026

Single Mom Weekend, my dad says the guy wasn't retarded, Fat Leia at Disneyland, transing Malcolm in the Middle, an ancient Chinese man, Nazi search tools, EMF gene manipulation, EBT ends and 7-Eleven goes out of business, spending too long in prison, and Black people have funeral cardboard cutouts; all that and more on this episode of The Dick Show!

Do, do, do, do, do, do. None more aggressive than major entertainer, man. He's just like the worst act. He's worse than Neil Hamburger somehow. Yeah. That's why when I'm like, oh, of course they go on tour together. Yeah. When I saw that, I was like, you got to be fucking kidding me.

He found somebody worse than him to go on tour with. It's so. Oh, it's. All right, I'm going to start streaming. Cool. Is it going? I think it's going. Oh, yeah, Rumble.

Yeah, you got to verify that I'm a human, man. Rumble, you don't want bots watching, right? Rumble shows that to human users. To verify that you're a human, it doesn't do anything, it just got to shows it to human users because otherwise they'd have no traffic. Right.

Look at that. Yeah, I remember the first time I saw a major entertainer. It's just, somebody confiscate this guy's equipment. Well, I saw his equipment I'm like, whoa, these are all cool pieces And then I heard it came out And it was like, Jesus Christ

This is amazing Like a hot woman showing off her feet Oh yeah No thanks Let's go fucking go Play on Rumble bitch Rumble's too busy Arguing on Twitter

Arguing about the quartering on Twitter Oh Fucking quarter disaster Quarter flagger Fuck Fucking quarterflagger Bad guy. He's a bad guy. One of the worst.

One of the worst. Somebody's got to confiscate his house. Confiscate his Walmart video game machines. Is that what he has? Man, if you go in his... Yeah, he's got those half-size Mortal Combats. You know that just screams cuck.

They screams cuck. Tiny half-size video game arcade cabinets. That's going to be a no for me, dog. If one of your kids can pick up the arcade cabinet, that's not a real arcade cabinet. Just nothing really. Usually you got to like, it's part of furniture, right? Right. A coin-up arcade machine?

It's not like a trophy. Fucking particle board nightmare, man. It is a particle board nightmare, but there's like, but those machines could take a beating. They're meant to, yeah. Yeah, they're meant to. I wish all furniture was made by Jamco or whoever made Midway. Jam. My printer just started printing out jam.

Jam! All caps. Whoever those are, they should make all furniture. Because right now, furniture is just a rickety piece of shit. Do we have to start buying, like, fat people furniture? Because I'm fat? No, just for the durability. An office chair you could stand on and not fucking immediately like?

Because fat people are the only ones crying about furniture. I get some furniture and I'm like, well, it's uncomfortable, it's slanted weird, and it feels rickety and crappy, but what am I going to do? I got other stuff to do. Fat people have nothing to do all day, but sit around and complain about their sitting accommodations. All they do is eat and complain about what you have for them to sit on, be it a bench, a ride, an amusement park ride, a plane, stadium seating.

They got to, if fat people could mobilize and get better seating for all. there's your problem I know it's a big ask But if they have the appetite for it They could really bite off a big problem You know it's a big ass Into a big problem That us straight sizes have

What do they call us? We call them dump sizes What do they call us Sis sizes I think Straight sizes Something along those lines It's something weird and sexual But that's crazy

Women run that whole movement Because I haven't sat At a kitchen table chair that didn't wobble at least a little bit. Bro, my kitchen table chairs are like part wrought iron. And I don't know how I fuck this. First of all, they're like slanted. The ones before instantly felt,

the ones that came with the table instantly fell apart. The machine screws that they sent with it instantly fell apart. And they squeaked. They squeaked constantly. Every time I would sit and be like, eh. And I'm like, do Chinese people like, do they think squeaking furniture is a sign of good luck? I bet that's it.

Well, it's a ninja chair, right? So that way if a ninja breaks in and decides to eat all your food. That's what they test their women. If their women sit on a chair and it squeaks, they're too fat. But the trick question, you know, the Chinese are always doing play joke. Right. Pee-B and your Coke. The trick question is they all squeak.

You know, I've never gotten Coke at a Chinese restaurant for that very... Don't, Johnny! Don't, get careful. No! Man. But if the fat people could stand up for something It would be seating for all

Not just for them Not fucking seating for them It would be seating for all They would say, you know what? I don't like these stadium seats And actually, they're too small for everybody I would say, oh, wait a minute Now you're on to something It's not just seats for fat bitches

It's seats for regular guys too We don't want three per row on a plane We want two Fuck you. That's the problem. Not squished together where you're shearing armrests. Everybody gets their own armrest, but they can't. Because nobody ever does anything for anybody else.

Right. It's Israel all over again. Just get rid of the income tax. You can have whatever you want. You can be, you can kill every kid in the whole world. Not mine. Everyone else's kid. If you just give us fucking get rid of the fucking income tax.

But you don't even need it. But you just won't do one thing for anybody. If the fat people won't do one thing for anybody else. Me, all I do is things for everyone else. Constantly, every day I wake up and say, boy, I wonder what I'm going to have to do for somebody else. Dude, now that I'm thinking about it, I might just start ordering all my furniture out of a U-line catalog.

Does this, does this industrial shelf come with, uh, an armrest? What? No, because you can buy like park benches. You could buy, you could buy fucking damn near anything that you never thought you could buy in there. I'm going to get one of those, you know, those red cabinets that you roll around, the craftsman ones. I'm going to get that. That's going to be all my furniture.

I'm put my bed on that. Get a work bench. Put my bed on that. I'm so sick of the squeaky shit. That's what I'm saying is you got to get like consumer grade shit. no longer a thing, man. You gotta go full pro. I don't want to be a consumer anymore.

You gotta go full. I want to be like owner. I want them to pretend that someone's gonna own this and use this for longer than to put it together. Yeah, I want the nuclear Holocaust to happen and my furniture

to still be there. Yeah. My house can be a pile of shit, but as long as my furniture is this thing. I want the Holocaust to happen too, Johnny. Oh, sorry, I meant the nuclear holocaust to happen too, Johnny. Yeah, I wish Nick Fuentes would have a kid

get married and have a kid, just so he understands and can speak from a place of passion about the healthcare industry. If Nick Flentes could talk about taking your son to the doctor on a Sunday morning and them giving you the computer says no line when you hand your insurance card and looking at you like you're the one with the answers of what to do next, we would have a Christian, a fascist, Christian Theocracy in six months. If Nicafowentis could speak passionately and from direct personal experience about the extreme humiliation and displeasure of taking your child, for all new families,

taking your child to the doctor because he's breathing like this, because he's sick, right? The extreme displeasure and humiliation of this routine, task for all hardworking immigrants aren't taken to their fucking babies to the doctor, I'll tell you they're taking him to the brouhaha, or the

Santa Ria lady, or they're taking them directly to the hospital, right? They're doing something fucking stupid. If you could talk plainly, like I'm doing right now, and with rage about this, there is no

holocaust or atrocity. or, uh, uh, uh, atrocious, or, uh, uh, or, uh, or, uh, or, uh, or, there's nothing we could do. Nothing. No amount of cruelty we could inflict on whatever that would not be justified by the humiliation of being stared at by some fat Latina who says your health, your health insurance card, which is, which is definitely, you know what I did? She said, the computer says, no, what do you want to do? I said, I don't know. Give me the cash price. And I guess I'll submit it. I'll submit it to the insurance.

company. I'm sure it's easy. I don't know how much I have to stick up my ass to send it into the insurance company. You get reimbursed for this because I've had insurance my whole fucking life like everybody with a job. I'm sure it's easy. I don't know what I have to stick up my ass, but I'm sure I've got one at home. Just give it to me. Don't look so stupid next time for the person behind me. I go home and I say, well, okay, so what's the deal with the type it in? What's the insurance.com.org log in. What's the deal here? And it says, we're sorry. Our Our shit is down. Why?

How is it possibly down? What do you mean? A medical fucking thing is down? It's a fucking spreadsheet. You guys don't even do anything. What do you mean it's down? Can't you have a backup page that says, sorry, no?

Whatever you want, we're doing the opposite. Just have a, the 404 page, it shouldn't say down for maintenance. It should be, hey, we're down, but by the way, whatever you wanted to do here, you're not going to be able to do. Shove it up your ass. If Nick Flenties could please get married, have a kid,

just to talk about this, Christian Theocracy's six months. Fascist Christian Theocracy. Not saying that would fix the problem. But it's just something to get excited about. That's all of them. Yeah! Welcome to Dick. You want to dig, you need, Dick, you love to give.

You got it. It's a show where everything is a contest. Coming to you from a mountain bunker deep in the heart of the city of failure. I'm your host, Dick Masterson, joining me. Johnny, the audio engineer. How you doing, budd? I'm doing great, man. How you doing?

How you doing? How you doing? How you doing? Man, you know, I had a similar thing fairly recently. Yes. I've been paying for some new dental insurance for, you know, you have to pay a certain amount and then you can start using it, right? So I'm like, cool, I'm going to go get all this.

Yeah, you don't want to scam anyone on your teeth. This guy's smuggling bummed teeth into the... Right. I've been doing crack for 30 years as a scam. Ha ha, just kidding. You fix my dentures, you fucking morons. These are fake teeth. Ha ha!

Jokes on you, Dennis. Keep the chains. Yeah. Embeddered in someone's fucking skull. But so before I had gotten this insurance. Sorry, sorry, sorry. I had paid. I'd called and was like, hey, what insurance do you guys accept? We accept these ones.

Cool. I go on the website. I buy it. I make sure it's the correct one. I do the thing. I even call to confirm fucking pay for my six months or whatever to finally go use it.

I use it and they go we don't take this kind of insurance here. It's out of network. And I said, are you fucking kidding me? There was a waiting room for, and I just look at her and I go, you're joking, right? And she goes, no, yeah, we don't.

And I was like, I fucking called somebody. You're joking, right, Fatso? Yeah. That's what I said. You're joking, right, Fatso? I called months ago to correct or to get the correct fucking shit. Are you jacking me?

Are you jacking me, Fatso? That's what I say at the doctor's office. Are you jacking me, Lardo? Are you jacking me? You tubba shit? Are you jacking me? Are you shitting me, Fatso? Are you shitting me, tubby?

But I was just, like, I just walked out. I'm like, are you fucking? Well, do you still want your cleaning and everything? I'm like absolutely not. I didn't want it in the first place. Don't act like you're doing me a favor. I have to be here. This is maintenance.

Yeah, I was like, fuck, like skip the schedule. So do you want your dick flattening or what? No. I didn't ever want it. I don't like the words you're using. Because they imply things. But it's the look they give to you where it's like you fucked.

Why'd you fuck this up, dude? Why'd you fuck this up for me, dude? I called two different people and checked online to make sure everything was fucking correct. Why are baby toys so obsessed with teaching Spanish to babies? Why do babies need to know Spanish so badly? Every fucking toy. Red Roha, Red, Rojo. Well, it's...

Blue Asool. Like, why doesn't it teach you something like... Women's stupid. Like, why doesn't it teach you something like... Tax is bad? Tax is bad. Don't relax. Don't relax.

Yeah. You lose. You lose. Around... Around whose. Around whose. Every fucking toy. Well, you know what it is?

is the toy manufacturers got lazy. It's not that they're teaching your kid in Spanish. It's that it's like bilingual toys. I guess they decided. And not one of them teaches Chinese. It's all Roja. Every fucking kid loves Roja. Amarillo.

They're like babies fucking love Spanish colors. They got to know Spanish. They fucking hate Chinese colors. How come I don't know? 40 years, all these years are listening to these baby toys scream and not one of them has ever taught me what blue in Mandarin is. And I would like to know. I know a soul.

They don't want us to get good. a business, man. They're locking me out. They're gatekeeping the Chinese market. Yeah. Imagine if I knew a Sewell in Mandarin, that would be unstoppable. That would be a more fun baby toy too. Red, ptochowl. Yeah. Yellow, ingaigold are. Very pitch correct. Very like... I would play that shit outside. Man. I'm sick of fucking Spanish. I'm fucking sick of it. I'm sick of learning. And I'm sick of learning Spanish doubley. Well, see, I had an opposite kind of problem there

because in high school I had the option, you could take Spanish, French, French, German. All the Mexicans took fucking Spanish. And failed. Go figure. But it was a fourth one Japanese. Oh, yeah, Japanese? Yeah.

So I was like, all right, I'll do that. Where did you go to school? In East County. Oh, really? Yeah. They don't have it anymore. The teacher only taught for four years. And looking back, I'm like,

You mean some 27-year-old bitch was trying to teach us a fucking different language And she came in hung over every day Like, oh, fuck That'd be great But I was like, cool, I'll learn Japanese Surely, like, that's not stupid and useless Like Spanish, I've used Japanese

Nobody learned shit anyway. Right. Well, I was like, if I'm not going to learn anything, I've at least may as well get exposure to some different shit. All I learned was that I just hate Japan Oh, Johnny, Japan is the only country. There's maybe two countries on Earth left. Japan and Israel. Well, let me rephrase that.

We got to do everything we can to protect Japan and then... I agree with that. I should have said, I hate what Japan has done to culturalist white kids. Oh. Anime? Yeah. And they cooked their hand.

And made autism. That's my two biggest gripes out of all that. All I learned in that class was the football team joined it because it was the easy class. The football team was speaking Japanese? No. Were they calling out their plays? No one was doing anything in that class because the teacher didn't teach us shit. I just want the baby toys

to teach me something to. Is that so much to ask? Actually. It is. It is. I had to do, my, my 80s girl went on vacation from this life

for a couple days. A couple months ago, or like a month ago, she's like, can I go see this concert in Colorado? And I was like, yeah. I was probably drunk. I was like, yeah, I didn't use my usual manipulation, you know, to get her to not want to do that.

Like, yeah, sure, go for it. There'll be a nice break. You haven't had a break in 18 months, right? I know, because I know she thinks that when I travel for business, it's just, I'm just having a good time. And I am. Little, though, she's having a great time. The best thing.

So I'm like, yeah, sure. So she's like, are you sure it's just you and the baby for two days? Like, how hard could it be? right? Terrible question And you know what I found? It was easy This is the easiest time I ever served

Really? It was fun, yeah I don't know what these moms are Complaint what I learned is being a mom Is the easiest fucking thing Easiest, all you do is screw around You screw around You screw around, play with blocks

Fucking dick around And not be on your phone It's like fucking great Basically Burning Man But no drugs But you're so tired doesn't matter. I was like, this is the,

women really fucked, women are complaining about this, this is the easiest shit I have ever done in my fucking life, except having to do work at the same time. That was impossible.

Dude, women used to have it great, man. They had it. I'm like, you guys, you guys fucked this up, this bad,

God gave you a magical man-finding vagina and you fucking, and this is what you had and you fucking blew it? You tried to get out of this? Easiest two. days of my fucking life.

Bro, it's... Happy Mother's Day. The old school way was like, you stay at home, do Valium all day, and then vacuum and then heat up some frozen vegetables later. I didn't even think about the volume. I didn't need it yet. Right. But if I had had a doctor, I would have got, I would happily do...

If you would have had insurance. I'll take that volume now. Can I see your insurance? Fucking bad. No. And then just fist right through the fucking head. Oh, man. I told her as soon as she got back.

I was like, that was the easiest thing, easiest thing I've ever done. Way easier than my job. She said, thanks for that. Just make her feel bad in regard. Actually, he said his first words without you here. And then I asked some of my other friends who had kids. I'm like, hey, is, watch them by yourself? Is it the easiest thing you've ever done?

And they're like, you know what? I don't want to say it because I don't want to piss my wife off. But yeah, it's like she went away. And I said, what the fuck is so hard about this? And I said, we're getting fun. Gaslit bro. We're getting fucking globally gaslit and I should have owned it. I should have known it at the time You know? Mm-hmm. This is fucking easy as shit. Go go back Extend you stay get the fuck out of here. Well, because when mom's around right can't have any fun

When it's just you and dad, it's like fuck it let's go to McDonald's get a cheese Shooting some hoops shoot shoots throwing blocks at the wall Shoots with the baby. Yeah, it's fucking easy. Um, anyway That's what I got out of it My wife went to Sublime Concert. That's right, they kicked Rome back out. She's like, I started crying when the guy was playing, because I'm like, I wonder if his mom looks at him.

I wonder if when his mom looks at the guy playing, because it's like the son of the, it's the son of the former guy who. I can't wait until the son of Rome doing it. It's the son of the guy. She's like, I started crying. It's really, I was like, where are you doing? She's like, yeah, I had some mushrooms. I'm like, okay.

And she's like, yeah, and then this lady, get this. I don't like telling stories that, you know, other people told me. Because no one cares. No one cares about stories about your wife, but get ready for this. So she says, they're all at Red Rock watching the show, right? And some woman falls over beside her and, like, bashes her head. And she's, she ate some mushrooms, right? Just to relax.

It's legal there. It's like having a, you know, like having a beer. Of course. She leans over and taps the person next to her and goes, oh my God, what's happening? Because the person fell over and had like a medical emergency, right? And she said, and the guy that she poked to say, what's happening, turned around, turned to look at her and was retarded.

She's like, he was like, ooh! She goes, ah! Because the mushrooms stretches everyone's face. out, right? Fuck. And I said, well, that's what you get. That's what you get.

I'm here doing, I guess, apparently going by the complaining the hardest job in the world. Bro. Whoa. Seeing a retarded guy on mushrooms unexpectedly will fuck your day up a little bit.

Yeah. Just a little bit. That's what I was laughing. You know? What? Because they're like a T-Rex. Yeah. Or like a...

Oh shit. By the way. Remember we did last week? We talked about going to the zoo. And how my dad started that fight with the retarded guy. Right. My dad comes over Thursday. And he goes, oh, by the way, that guy wasn't retarded.

I guess maybe to you. I guess it's relative then, dad. Because to me, relatively to me, he was retarded. Retaration is a spectrum. Yeah, perhaps to you, you said, oh, that's just a fellow traveler. That's just another guy just like me. But in my world, we call that guy going around using a tone of voice that no one else has on monotone, screaming about paper maps at the fucking zoo who doesn't understand a QR code.

In my world, wearing a fucking fedora by himself, going back with a bunch of other people who look like a randomizer on a choose-your-character screen on a new fucking MM. RPG, we call that a fucking retard! Yeah, when you see a little posse that looks like a goddamn second life lobby, or VR chat lobby, you're done. You see a lot of people wearing a vest

to the zoo, Dad? That fucking guy had a vest and a fedora. And he had that big duck ass that only retarded people have. So you didn't know he was retarded then, and you were doing that, clearing you throughout thinking, it was just a normal guy screaming about

paper maps at the zoo. Your dad was trying to lead into thinking that you're retarded. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. He's trying to fucking Uno reverse me for no reason. You know what you thought that guy was retarded? He's actually a fucking scientist. Like, no. He's like, I sold the car to him last week.

Car that doesn't exist. On Facebook Marketplace. You've been on Facebook too long, I said. Fucking, I don't know what you're consuming, but... What do you mean? That's like a basic fucking skill. That guy's fucking retarded. Yeah, dude.

That guy's normal. That guy's fucking retarded over there. That's a pretty fucking basic skill that you need to have in life. You shouldn't even need to learn it. You shouldn't be able to unlearn it, but here we are, arguing about who and who is not a retard at the zoo. It's an adult man. We suspect him to be retarded at the zoo if he's got no kids. Dude, you just reminded me yesterday.

I went to the store to buy just some groceries. And I'm fucking, as I'm walking in, there's this retarded guy who's like new to the store. Here we go. And he's following around a guy who's actually speaking going to and he's like, hey, the man in the day and you need help with him?

And he's like right in this guy's fucking face and he's like, no, it's okay. Like I got it. And he's like, are you sure? Like he said, and like he couldn't stop following this guy and I just start laughing.

And he's like, okay. And so he finally walks away and I go up to him. I'm like, hey man, can I help you with him? And he just looked at me

like he wanted to fucking kill me. Fat, bitch. That's what the button should say on the baby toy. Fat, oh, look at this. Speaking of fat bitches, look at what we got here.

Could be any number of them. The fucking Millennium Falcon and all your, all your favorite Fat Star Wars characters have landed at Disneyland. Starring Mrs. Butterworth. Jesus Christ.

Starring Mrs. Butterworth as Princess Leia. Princess lays around the house. Lay around the house. Oh, we gotta knock some parsecs off of this, bitch. Man. Even R2D2 looks fat. Look at this.

What the fuck is this? Cosplay? It looks like someone who works at one of the parks, yeah. Yeah. I don't think this is a good launch. I'm gonna be honest with you. They had to make the Millennium Falcon look bigger behind her. They had to make it wider to get it in frame.

Jesus Christ. Why are they picking like the butch? Like, why do they give her work gloves? Why does she need work gloves on? Princess Leia? Why does she need workmen's gloves? Why is she wearing this fucking... Didn't she have a white dress with like buns in her hair?

Well, she ate them, yeah. She ate the buns. That makes sense. She ate the buns and ate the guy wearing this costume before. They can't put normal-sized people at Disneyland anymore because their clientele is all 600 pounds. So they got to put a dumpus up there That the park sloppers

Will look at and think they could this is achievable To them if they just stop eating kids That they see if they stop going to the store and pretending like it's supermarket sweep And going ah with their mouth open Then they could hopefully achieve this look and they're right That's never gonna happen But they're right That's what I'm seeing here

Why would they go why else would they go with fat lea and why else would they go with do they have a lot of lesbians I guess every woman over a certain weight is a lesbian right in that they don't have sex

with men anymore loneliness induced homosexuality dude there's a lot of that going around it's a curse it's a fox a lot of loneliness induced homosexuality going around

what has happened here this is not this is not a star wars I think the reason for all the covering is that she's actually like a million locusts in like a human suit Oh is that it?

Like if like a seam or like rips Then the illusion will go away Yeah Really Really disappointing Really disappointing there Let me see if I've got any more It's crazy that they're still making Star Wars shit

Isn't it? I feel like I don't know. People are still into this crap? That's kind of, because I remember as a kid, when it was re-released in theaters in the 90s, it was like, whoa, this is this big thing. It was like, okay, cool. Like, saw it with my parents and was like, I guess that's cool.

I don't know. I'm a fucking kid. Every movie looks cool to be at this point. Yeah. I'm like, shit, that's like clearly impressive. But like, I can't like, I don't understand the cultural significance in the way you guys do. I'm just a fucking kid. But I was like, yeah, all right, cool.

They didn't have anyone better. I don't understand why she has, uh, lawnscaping gloves on. That's all. It's just like annoying me that she's dressed up like Star Fox. It looks like they took pictures of like the cast members at the park. Like they're doing like a, like the stage show and it's like oh here's bootleg hall. So it's like well they are I guess. Right. Isn't that what these are? But it just looks like that like way over the top like they got Harry Potter in here too. Who is this guy? I don't I can't even tell. Is it a Darth Vader? Or is Luke Skywalker?

I don't even know anymore, man. I don't know, man. I don't know, man. I'm sure I got to go to Disneyland. Sweat some mayonnaise out. I'm going to go scooter tipping. Dude. I'm just going to put little ramps everywhere,

so they got to go up on one wheel and tip over. Like those little four-wheel parks. Yeah. Let me see something here. Okay. I saw a movie about an LDS cult. Recently? Not the one LDS cult.

Another one. Huh. Not one polygamous LDS cult, another one. And I found it so odd because I'm watching this movie. And of course, like the guy's like a rapist, right? Like fucking kids, you know. Oh, they always? are, man. And this woman's making the doc...

The woman was also used to be in a cult making the documentary. And it's going through all the normal stuff. She does like this big investigation and tries to... tries to get him to, you know, turn himself in or say something stupid. And he does eventually. But through the whole documentary, I'm thinking, wait a minute. You got one guy here who... We got to kill him.

You know, he's a rapist. Right. Right. Rape kids. That's no good. But then you got third. women here that are participating and they're being treated like they've got no choice but there's 30 of them right I mean at what point at what time at what point is it just their fault if you had a hundred thousand women and a cult of one guy who's raping kids is it not the women's fault is it's are we still going to pretend that it's the guy's fault because just because he's

doing the raping obviously we have to kill him but at what point are you go oh yeah well we got to kill all of you too, obviously. You're obviously, you're obviously just as guilty or more guilty than this guy. Yeah. I'm sure it doesn't, I mean, I guess it may be it matters to the kid, but only because you're brainwashing him and telling him that these 30 women were too stupid

to stop one guy from doing all the rapes. I was waiting, I was waiting dumb and naively for the other shoe to drop. for the lady to say, oh yeah, and guess what? You're guilty of, yeah, because my wife goes, well, what would you do in this situation? I'm like, they're extort them. They're guilt, they're just as guilty as him.

Threat don't because they're trying to talk these women into, you know, speaking up and stopping rape, right? Which, of course, is, even they say, they presented on the screen, like, it's like taking the one ring to Mordor. Right. One does not simply ask a woman to say, to stop someone else from getting rape, you know, all you have to do is, All you have to do is literally say something.

All you have to do is open your fucking mouth. For once, for the purpose of good. One time, for the purpose of helping someone else. Do you have to open your fucking mouth and say something? And you still can't fucking do it. And you'll learn that this is impossible in life and to not expect it ever. And definitely not appreciated. I just occurred to me while watching this documentary.

Like, oh yeah. And thank God the guy was killed. He was put in prison. he died or something. I'm like, okay, well, when are these 30 women going to jail? Because that's their fucking fault. Well, that and they're so indoctrinated with this shit and the fact that they never spoke up or did anything, or organized and murdered him sooner was like, they're going to spread that shit into the communities they're still bad.

They're still fucking bad people. Get them in fucking jail. I forget what it was called. Something about maniac shit. It was called Not the New Prophet or something I don't know I only watch like one show now It was the story of Pop-Tarts, right? Yeah, it was Seinfelds

Melissa McCarthy Project What was that called? I can't even fucking... Fucking Pop-Tarts And what's the deal with Pop-Tarts? I think it was called What's the Deal with Pop-Tarts?

I think you're right See, I want to see a Pop-Tarts movie where someone eats Pop-Tarts and has such a dry mouth, washes it down with coffee and then murders some lady in MacArthur Park. I'm bath salts. Yeah. What happened to bath salts, man?

Can we bring those back? My dad said he wasn't retarded. He was just, he was yucking it up with his friends. I was watching him for quite a while. I said, who's yucking it up with his friends at the zoo at 10 a.m.? Dad. You know any fucking guys that are yucking it up with their pals at the zoo?

Dude, he's, he's Michael Turko, man. and undercover for some investigative journalism You gotta fucking watch it, man. If you can't tell retarded people from normal people anymore, that's a problem. If he starts stomping and clapping and laughing, some retarded person is going to come to their door,

say, this is my house, and he'll be like, oh, I guess it's your, I guess it's his house. He had, you know. Hello, fellow normal earth person. What are you talking about? I'm going to have to put him down in like a clockwork orange seat say like

retard normal I'm gonna take him my son's flashcards that they included a bunch of minorities and retarded people on he's gonna be like these all look fine to me yeah yeah there's one guy there's one in there that's a dud see if you can find it

it's not that one close god uh your dad's got to be one of my favorite characters in life I've ever encountered I knew he would have a problem with that story

It's just fucking... Right, because the things he decides to like... Well, actually, on, it's just like, oh, I wasn't even thinking about that. We were tricked by the best. He could never be wrong, dude. He's like... He's like a one-man Kim Jong-un and North Korea. Oh, God, man.

Kim Jong-un is living the dream for boomer men. Your dad's propaganda machine is on fucking full tilt. Okay This is a robot dog That they put out to chase black people around I don't know if you've seen this Pretty interesting As if black people needed another reason to hate dogs

Yo dog We heard you afraid of cops and dogs So Yeah We did a robot Cop dog Let me see this Not they got the motherfucking robot dog

In the motherfucker hood Put your apartment Lepicon for you The fuck of A y'all shit it is Where the robot at? What the fuck? He's gonna be He's gonna bite your way

Is this real? I think it's real It's Boston Dynamics at the bottom Hello Oh baby they were How are you? Where are you at? Oh you think

Well what talk got the robot dog in here for? Great To watch the people So they don't take Hey, you have black people Talking to an Indian And if the robot Doesn't like it

They all die That's how it works. That's so fucking crazy. It's Robocop, but it's all black people. What y'all do with you? What y'all do with a robot? Robosing cop. Sorry.

So we're actually like the robotic security dog here. So what's how good- Fucking circling the robot, this guy. That's not how it works, dummy. The robot doesn't have blind spots. You fucking idiot? That's fucking 36. camera.

You don't snake around on a robot, son. Don't think you're trying to, they got joints that move in ways you can't imagine. And I know, statistically. You can't imagine. Everything is being monitored and recorded. Hi.

Hi. Shaking pictures of robot. Man, we need about 10 million of these. Turn them loose. Cover the U.S. in these robot dogs. Put them at every waffle house. I want it. Put a robot out front.

I want the Filipino Waymo drivers to drive these too. To drive the dogs? Yeah. Yeah. Man, that's cool. Maybe we could get some hackers. Robo. Robot dogs.

Turn them loose on Skid Row. Start kicking ass down there. Just ramming full speed. You see that robot race they had? Yeah. That motherfucker was cruising. Let me see if I can find that. It looked like a dickhead.

Fucking nuts. Robot race Yeah That would be cool right What if they took all the battle bots And unleashed them in Skid Row That'd be fucking awesome Like hey everyone

Rebuilded all your craziest Sawblade flame throwing Even the woman team Even the team with the girls on it You guys get to do it too That's just gonna blow up That's even better No problem

They had the most effective bot At killing the homeless Man I hope Spencer Pratt wins He's not gonna But man you gotta at least have some sort of hope That's what Star Wars is all about Is that what it's about?

About hope, yep I thought it was just about like Well I had to make sure and go back and re-edit my movie So that I was correct about it That's part of hope Johnny Oh Hope one day I could re-edit my fuck-ups And then have everyone hate me more for it

Yeah that's tight Like how do you as a filmmaker even commit like a story hubris like that. I know what I'll do. I'll go back to something that everybody loves and I'll edit the shit out of that. You know that's like, you would make a movie about that.

So why are you doing it? How do you not understand that what you're doing is the movie? Something that a dumb character would do. Just like trying to rewrite the Bible. Hang on, like, hold on, I got a new edition. That one was all right. It's just that, you know.

Yeah. Right. Okay. Oh, the Malcolm in the middle So it turns out You know how that guy Dewee Wouldn't do it? He said no Turns out he might have been the

Fucking smart The goat for doing that Because they put a big old trans shit Thing in the Malcolm in the middle reboot Right? Here we go They got this hot actress to say all these fucking lines about how she represents the trans community Oh yeah

I'm sure I'm sure this is what women are terrified of encountering the bathroom. This beautiful actress This is like Five

This is from Malcolm in the Middles The new reboot I was like Five When I started feeling wrong There's Hal There's Breaking Bad and his wife looking You guys never said anything

But then I had this one Really shitty day Or he got raped. In the fifth grade, the other kids. And there's Francis. My teacher. Your favorite, there's all your favorite Malcolm in the Middles.

All your favorite Malcums are watching this video that the little, that the baby of the Malcolm in the middle. You remember the show ended with Lois pregnant again and it's a girl? I wish they just rebooted it as Malcolm X in the middle. He just did Blackface? And he just like they do like a holographic Malcolm X and he's got his arms crossed. And shaking his head of disapproval the whole time. When I had little kid problems... This is on Fox?

I'd just go to dad and he'd clown around and make me feel better. That didn't happen in the show. The dad actually made all their problems worse. Yeah. Or you was busy doing speedwalking or some other retarded shit. That's what happened in the show, actually. But instead I just blurted out, dad, am I wrong? All the...

All the black friends are, all hell's black friends are watching. Totally enraptured by this, by this 18 year old girl talking about how they became a boy because of Malcolm in the middle. He was looking at me. Get the fuck out of here.

He knew that he knew. And had always known. See now if major entertainer came out. Major entertainer is better than this. Well, see, if he came out and started doing his set, I'd be like, hell yeah. That's,

fucking good lead up to that. Are trans people immune to editing? Like, is that part of their dysphoria? Do they not, are they not able to see that a sentence or a paragraph is too long? Well, how dare you want to silence or hinder their voices? They want to chop everything on them

except their fucking grammar. Do I have that right? Everything gets the chop except gigantic monologues. Yeah. May it should be longer. It should have been the whole episode. 40 minutes of how this hot actress

is actually a fucking boy and wants to have a penis. 40 minutes of full Actually that should have been the whole season Should have been the whole reboot Which it is right I mean this is somebody A producer obviously has trans kids And wanted to

Use The the The Malcolm in the middle Parents as being like Basically good parents You know Under the circumstances Everyone says oh they're basically good parents

I'll say like well I have a trans kid I'm a good parent So I'm gonna make them have a trans kid So everybody says like oh I guess I guess good parents Hey yeah you can so be a good parent. Yeah, which I don't know. I don't know if it's, you know, I don't know if it's parenting problem or not, but, or a parenting issue or not, but, uh, I know this, I know this is not

Malcolm in the middle. That's not Malcolm in the middle. Unless it ends with a fart or something. You know, every the time Dewey dressed up in drag and pretended to have a tea party so his dad would buy him only vaguely. A weapons toy. I barely watched any of that show. She's fucking totally normal shit back then. Totally normal shit. you didn't have to figure out how to cram this this crap in yeah which makes no sense remember when they went to burning man and they Lois called everyone freaks

Lois hated everyone there because they were freaks and weirdos spent the whole time calling them freaks because they were different remember Lois did that I don't remember that was a good episode and Hal did too they thought he was he was pretending to have like a normie art installation because he had an RV and he was like setting up chairs and stuff and had all this retarded shit That's fun. That was a great episode.

I was terrified. And then he finally said, it could be nicer to your mom sometimes. So yeah. I like him. What the fuck? Sincere. Loyal.

What is? Oh, that's a tribute to hell. All right, cool. Just put it in everything. They should put it in NFL. And games should have like a moment of trains coming out. Like the what? The TFL.

Fucking mutant football league going on? Put a stage. And then every, like there's, today where baseball could salute the troops like they do. And then in football, they could put a stage out in every game during like the first quarter. They could have a trans person come down and give a monologue like this. Yeah. You rate it like at the Olympics. That was a 10.

Pretty good. Oh, she's going for a, she's going. for a Darvo, like thanking to her mother on that one. Like a triple lutz, you know? That was a challenging, that was a challenging move in the monologue, in the trans

monologue. Yeah. And she blew it. She hit the ice on that one. Trying to identify, like, the format. Ooh, this is ADA format. Ooh, I can see too many microaggressions show that it was not an actual... Not enough citations. Not enough citations in this one.

Too relatable. Just get a little. Low score is from the from the Los Angeles judge on this on this one fucking garbage sick of this shit Dude it's just like

I was excited about the Malcolm in the middle reboot Then they started cramming woke shit in I just Shit doesn't need to be rebooted man I guess not Shit doesn't even like new shit doesn't need to be made either Let's stop making everything We made media for the past 120 years

That's enough It's fine The AI's got it now AI's got it Well dude I've told you before I spent I was just like

You know what I'm gonna watch some old Laurel and Hardy shit Fuck yeah That's still some of the funniest shit I've ever seen man Dude I put on Charlie Chaplin out of spite Because my wife said he's not even funny Why does everyone I said excuse me What did you just say So I found Charlie Chaplin on Plex

And within five seconds She was laughing hysterically Because he fell on a statue and the sword went up the back of his suit and then chopped his pants off. Dude, it's so fucking funny. Like, from a hundred years ago, I'm like, why is this shit funnier than all the shit? It's way

better. Dude. Like, people died on some of those sets and shit too, man. It's fucking crazy. Somebody should do an AI of the three stooges where somebody comes out as trans and gives one of these monologues, and then gets hit with a pie. Gets run over

by a train. That's more like a buster point Dexter. They should also do an AI with Buster Poindexter where he's jumping around on a train and then a trans person has a monologue and gets fucking side swiped. Can they give the monologue before they get untied? And he's, the

trans is giving the monologue and he's untying him and then he cuts to him and he's doing like, you know, his face. And that's what I, and it puts this monologue in from Malcolm in the middle. Dude, you got to watch the piano, fucking

movers, a Laurel and Hardy one. had me in fucking tears, dude. Malcolm in the middle was about, hey, no matter how great you think you are, you need like a dose of reality and humiliation or else you become an asshole. Like Malcolm was a huge asshole because he's gifted and they brought him down constantly.

That's a good life one. These trans people are not like untouchable. They need like a real harsh dose of reality and humiliation to bring people, to bring everyone's ego down to zero. I think it's untouchable in the sense of like the Indian caste system, like the untouchables. The bottom ones you mean?

I don't, that's not what I'm seeing. When you call them untouched by, I wish it was the... How about your, open, like opening your, under your sink, you hear it dripping when your dishwasher's running and you open under your sink and it's all black and wet. You think, this is reality. That's what this is. I remember this shit. Ah, I needed that.

Thanks, reality. Thanks for that humiliation and reality check that you're giving me. Thanks a lot. Reality is when you bring some... Lausannea in your car. Don't finish it and put it in your backseat and then some retardant traffic cuts you off and you hit the brakes just like A nanometer too much and fucking now under my seat is all my lasagna and it goes right to the edge. You're like no no Yeah trying to blow it back What was crazy is I got like a separate like quick time event view of the back of my head and

Just saw it go and I was like And I went well, you know know what? That's life. That's what all the people say, you know? I'm out of pens for some reason. What the fuck? I just got all these joke Viagra pens and none of them fucking work. That's the bit, right? I guess. Maybe that is a bit.

Here's a homeless that got fake tits, courtesy of California. What is your name again? Jacqueline. I'm sorry. Homeless. A penis haveer Someone experiencing homelessness And penis having

Got a big pair of fake tits Experienced a free pair of fake tits Someone who experiences homelessness And a batwing Someone experiencing a prostate Got to experience a sex change also Courtesy of California Man

This is the first time I... Oh, Bazinga! Whoa! Beautiful lady! Is that Lulu Lemon that she's wearing? must be, right? I live in a shelter. A shelter?

A lot of Latino here. So definitely some are migrants or undocumented. And me as a trans woman, I feel safe. Were you able to get the hormones or? That's great. I hope you know. Yeah, I see that with my doctor. So Medi-Cal, you got the breast implants?

Yes. Wow. Taxpayer funding. So here in California, they gave you the breast implant here. Yes. Free? Yeah. Wow.

Congratulations. Do you feel like that's a good benefit for other migrants here in California? Yeah, even... Yeah, they want to fuck some hot, pussy? You're undocumented, you can... Of course. Did you do bottom, too? Bottom surgery.

I'm waiting for that one. Yeah. Wow, you're waiting for bottom surgery. You know what? Are you happy with the results? Let's do them in the reverse. Let's cut the ding-dongs off. first, though. If they want

anybody on welfare, just cut the penis off. I'm pro that. The fake tits, sure. You gotta get both. And the penis chopping off has got to happen first. That's fine. I'm fine with that. I'll fund that all day. I mean, we already are. Well, not in that order that I want.

Not in that order, I know, yeah. Dick chopping off first. Yeah, just switch the order room. Anybody, you want free school? Trans-surgery. I'm not saying something offensive, just a trans surgery, you know? Totally normal. If you want to...

You either got to go to the Army or get your penis cut off. No big deal. I mean, unless you're a bigot. Or go to the Army and then come back and then cut your penis off. Then cut your penis off. Go to the Army, we'll cut your penis off there.

Come back. Get it blown off in the war, yeah. We'll blow it off in a war. Someone will bite it off. One of those robot dogs will bite your dick off. Send you to Iraq with a malfunctioning or Iran or Turkey

or whoever's Israel's fighting next. Man. This is kind of an interesting study on how annoying women are. Let me pull this one up. Well, the fact that a study had to be done about it. They can't call it that. They can't say, here's a study on how annoying women are. They have to call it something else.

They put scars on women's faces for a job interview, and then they removed the scars. But the women, they didn't tell them that. so the women went in thinking they had a scar and then said that the people were all the people at the interview were all prejudice against them because of their disfigurement but they didn't have no scar on them

get it it's a practical joke experiment you could do this on television but if you do it not on television you got to call it a study isn't that isn't that funny and they said that women did that and everyone said oh yeah that makes sense you didn't need a study for that you could have just said that And I would have said, yeah, that's probably going to happen.

Emperor's new clothes all over again, right? They'd go, yeah, if you told my girlfriend that you put a scar on her, you don't even have to do the makeup. If you just said, hey, there's a scar on your face, and then sent her into an interview, she would come out saying they must have seen, somehow your suggestion must have magically happened, been transmuted to them through the ether, through the zodiac.

You didn't need to go through all this, you know, rigamarole of putting on makeup and then secretly taking it off. Because that's actually the jokes on you that you were so stupid, you think that women need that that women need that deep of a subterfuge for them to be fucking, for them to make up

that they were treated poorly for some reason. That has to do with their appearance because they don't. Jokes on you dummies, dumb dummy scientist. Somebody made a search into so you can see if your relatives were a Nazi,

but I tried to look myself, I couldn't find it though Let me see here Porn addiction Sneco gets punched That's pretty funny I'll play that while I look for it Look at this

There's Sneco you know Sneco right Yeah Sneco walking around New York Being Muslim Put your life force into a sock Watch this Yeah you deserve to be publicly executed Walking

Walking Now he looks at his phone While he's walking still Looking at his phone And then some guy goes Wham! Put down your phone while you're walking. Maybe that won't happen to you.

Wham! Oh, Mohammed! They said, oh yeah, how's this for it? I got your Mohammed for you. Right here, boom! God damn. Whammo! Jam.

Yeah. Jam. You fucking jammed him right in the fucking face. I heard you like Islam. So I slam! That's too bad. Sneko. Put your phone down.

For my name like Sneako, he had zero situational awareness and was wearing too bright of colored clothing. Sneak around. I'm pretty sneaky myself. Check this out. A cabloos! Oh, One of your pals there, buddy? One of your pals, maybe?

I don't know. Nazi tool. Let's see here. Nazi search party. Reveals if your ancestors were in the Nazi party. Well, who put this together? It'd be funny if it was just like a... like whatever you put in it just returns yes

that's that's what I was that's why I'm looking for who put this together yeah did one of ours put this together did one of theirs yeah is it a real database or does it just like a yeah is it just invent names out of the air until it has enough I don't know let's see he was an academic the search engine was important I was happy I didn't find anyone else from my family especially not my father I've never suspected him of being a Nazi He was drafted into the Wehrmark in 1941. Then he was a Nazi. What do you mean?

Isn't that what they are? Dye Zit said the response to the search engine has been overwhelming. Yes, let's see it. It has been accessed millions of times. How many millions? And Shedsalsons of times. It was launched in the beginning of April, says Judas Bush. It was launched April 1st, yeah.

April 1st. So can I access this and search for people? What the hell? Did I see it? I don't want to... Oh, come on. They're doing that shit in Germany, too? What the fuck?

Man, it's just warnings on everything. Just put one more modal to click on every site you get on. Fucking bullshit. Hopefully the hackers will just make the internet unusable with all the AI shit that they're doing. Get rid of all the normies. make it so if they look at the internet, it kills them. I don't know how, but AI could...

They found something that's like... They found some radio wave that, like, induces genetic mutation or something. Tight. Yeah. So I guess the tinfoil hats, people were right. Cool. Turns out.

I think. I don't know. I didn't read the whole thing. I just saw a meme. Uh, I don't know. They don't link to the site. Dang it. D.C. site.

I've already found two close relatives, which destroys the myth that no one in our family was involved. Why would that be a... What do you mean destroys the myth? Why would you want... Why do you refer to that as a myth that your family members were not Nazis? And why was it a myth that needed debunking? Is this a Reddit machine?

This... It just feels so silly, right? Yeah, it's like... It's like the last gasp of an ideology. The whole World War II Holocaust narrative is like they're trying to get as much info out in any way possible to like keep it alive. Mm-hmm. So the victimization, the victim points don't like fall off. Victim points are like airline miles as it turns out.

Yeah? So, you know. No rollovers. No rollovers. Sorry. The cards which helped identify people. Maybe they should make NFTs of the Nazi parts. Maybe that would help.

Maybe that would help jazz it up. You can buy your family members The serial members. Yeah. Jesus fucking Christ. For a half a century, the cards were kept by the Americans at the Berlin Document Center.

Oh, they were just holding on to some secret cards, huh? Okay. Until recently, it was only possible to make inquiries by making a formal request to the German archives. Oh, gay. Well, how could I see it?

Fuck you. You don't link to the site? I want to punch some people in. Quartering's probably on there. Big Nazi. He got it taken down, actually. Probably. There's just a picture of his face up there.

He flagged it. What a piece of shit. The quartering's worse than this trans migrant getting free boobs. They should put four boobs on him. On the quartering? Put someone on his back. Yeah. That's it.

You're acting like a fucking ass. asshole. Put some boobs on your back so you can't sit down anymore. Put a piece of shit. Put your backless chairs in the house. Let me just adjust my tits on my back. You sit back and you're like, ha. Okay, comments.

Alexei Luther says, the woman, question mark in the video who said MMIWG2S-L-GB-T-Q-Q-I-A-plus is listed as Indigenous Jewish and Chinese descent. So she can have Genghis Cohen. So you can go to Genghis Cohen. She's Jewish and Chinese, dude. Yeah, you're right.

She can go to Genghis Cohen. We can't. Fee says the animation that Johnny brought in at the end was almost a dead ringer for Keisha Fabo. Huh. Do you know who that is? I don't. It kind of rings a bell, but I can't... The last name sounds familiar, but I'm not ringing any bells.

Gwimbley says that animation is tight. that was that. Yeah. Captain Sheaths, it is cool. It is cool, man. That takes a lot of... I wonder how long each video takes her. I like how it's always, like you were saying, just pointless fights with other people, like, over nothing. Well, it's always something pointless that has to end in a fight.

Yeah. And it's like, it's just like a really roundabout way of, like, trauma fucking just like, well, I don't know how to cope and have a normal conversation with. anyone but I do know what getting yelled at for not taking the trash on getting my ass whooped is like so yeah exactly like that's all I know it's fucking I'm gonna put that as Mickey Mouse and Donald Duck I appreciate your earnest I'm gonna show my dad that video and see if he knows that there's anything wrong with that guy right

what do you think about this guy I'll be like what that's just the president the new president of the Mickey Mouse Club what's the big deal he'll say this reminds me of an idea I had He would say that. God damn it. I appreciate your Ernest. Oh, I appreciate you, Ernest. Like, that's the fucking...

I quote that. I appreciate it. I say that. He said Ernest? Yeah, because his name is Ernest. Oh, Mickey was thanking him. Yeah. Or Goofy was.

Goofy was. Because Goofy's the one he identifies most. It's the Ernest Club. Not the Mickey Mouse Club anymore. Ernest Blurnist club Blurness club Blurness Instead of Vern

He's just Blurn How are you doing today Vern? I appreciate it, It's just quiet He should do a Ernest commercial But cut away

As him as Vern That would be a cool Why doesn't Tony From Hack the Movies do that? That's a hack That's a hack That's a real hack to movie When Ernest is talking to Vern

That's That's a fucking fun. But it'd be funny if it's like the, you see the whole like director, like the camera and like the whole like crew and everyone behind him and it's just like. Was he the, was Ernest the first one to talk to imaginary Vern on television? Maybe. Is that why he's so popular? I don't know. I mean.

Maybe because it was brilliant. Jim Varney is like a true like, like, like he does all those things. Yeah, he did the fat lady when he dresses up the fat lady and I was like, And he got that fat guy And that guy with no teeth Dude, Ernest was like proto Medea He's the white Medea How come that fat bitch never got a spin off?

Medea goes to camp Medea meets Ernest That would be the... And they both go to camp It's like one of those Scooby-Doo crossovers That's like we're... Scooby-Doo hangs out with Josie and the Pussycats today And it's like, wait, what the fuck?

Flanston's Meese the Jessons was a really good movie. Did you have that? I do. I remember watching it, but I don't remember anything about it. Oh, man, I made my parents get that. That was back when VHS was like 90 bucks. They were expensive, dude. I watched the shit out of that crossover.

Dude, it's like, this is fucking great. Yeah. These guys are way out of their elements. On both sides, yeah. Exactly. Especially the men. especially the men I'm just looking for somewhere to get my rocks off

fucking like total just like they both have talking appliances though yeah what the fuck so truly nothing ever changes appliances always talk there's always an iot yeah that's so fucking annoying the women found

it was easy for them to transition it's just a history of doing nothing and spending yeah taking all of George's money that's gonna be I'm gonna make a I'm gonna make like an alter ego and that'll be a book

Women a history of doing nothing and spending money Dude That's You could go through history and find Nothing but that Like Amelia Earhart She didn't fly around

She actually just wasted all this money Can you like that? Yeah waste spending money Um Okay Captain Cheese says Hell exists on Earth It's called Atlanta, Georgia He's absolutely right about that

Is that true? It is What's wrong with Atlanta, Georgia? Have you never been? I have been Oh, it's great That's hell on earth, though It was hot

It's hot It's hot It was hot It's very diverse It's crazy If by diverse You mean like no white people Yeah, that's what I mean

No white people That's what it means Kayana Swiss I downloaded this episode so I can have a recording of that Dune Smurf throwing off the shoulders of that commie piece of shit

throwing off the shoulder I don't remember that Woman Alert Okay From Victoria You know what is funny about Atlanta Is you can They've even done news articles on this

About like Why is there chicken bones Always on the sidewalk In Atlanta Really? Yeah look do this woman alert first oh let me look for that why is there chicken bones

Atlanta why is there chicken bones yep Atlanta magazine what's the deal with chicken bones all over Atlanta why so red it why so many chicken bones Yelp why are there chicken bones everywhere while the whole city got yelped for chicken bones Instagram ever wondered where all

chicken bones? I mean, I have an idea. Yeah, it's like tossing a cigarette out the window when you're driving down the freeway, dude. Yeah, that's exactly it. Okay, Atlanta. Let's see here. What's with the chicken bones all over Atlanta? They got some pictures. The little bottle shot, too, fucking next to the chicken bones kills me. Precisely. Yeah. That was someone's lunch right there.

Perhaps our city's nickname should be the city that's too busy to properly dispose of chicken thoughts. It's a little bit wordy. Yeah. Because they're all over Atlanta's streets at sidewalks and park. How about the city of too many? What? I stopped. I stepped on one pumping gas today.

Somebody threw their chicken bones at the gas station? They're fucking eating chicken while they're pumping gas? Probably begging for money for cigarettes or something. I saw chicken bones at the fucking bath in the bathroom. Oh. At the fucking aquarium there, dude. That looks like the Miller Union parking lot on Sunday morning after compound closes, said Chief Satterfield when shown this photo. Oh, chef.

Instagram and Tumblr accounts have been chronicling the phenomenon for years. Hashtag Atlanta chicken bones. I moved from Boston to Atlanta, and I just started seeing the bones everywhere, she said. I sadly never see them in Chicago where I live now. Right, sadly. Yeah, right. She had to throw that in there. It's like the bodega.

It's the familiar chicken bones that you see. You love them. It's our culture. And look at it. There's another empty bottle. Others joined in over time. And then on March 18th, two chicken bone photograph archivists launched an unofficial official official Instagram account, random chicken bones of ATL.

We had to find out who they were and what inspires their passion. So you're both male. Yeah, two dudes. Okay, this is an interview. Why did you start this? All right. Yeah, then they start being lame, but it's just... So did they not?

Does no one have an item? Let me just search for black. Yeah. Black? Why did you get flat? Flack. Speaker 1, because it's of a black guy eating chicken. Speaker 2, I'm black, by the way.

Oh, okay. It's just a screenshot of a random. So they got flak because they took a picture of a black guy eating chicken. Amazing. No black people have. ever eating chicken? Not once. Have you dropped chicken bones? Oh, for sure.

What? What a disgusting city. Everybody's dropping the chicken bones everywhere? Even the guy's snitching on people dropping chicken bones and dropping chicken bones. It's dropping chicken bones. We drop chicken bones all the time. Oh, that was the black guy who said, oh for sure. Yeah. Speaker 1, we drop chicken bones all the time. Come on, we're always on the go.

Do they cover what race he is? Let me search. for... Nope. Doesn't show up? That wasn't a C or a W? Hmm. Chrome won't even let you search for that word. Did you know that?

I did know that. I was like, that's weird. Zero results, but I see it right in front of me. I see it on a page. Must have wingdings or something in it. Must have chicken wingdings on there. Isn't that littering? One man's trash is another man's treasure.

Okay, speaker two says for sure again he says for sure all the time Well but look at the question so you love chicken for sure Subdued response oh for sure yeah oh for sure yeah it was like a money market account F dash show Oh yeah wasn't are you sure this was for show? Yeah Are you sure it wasn't even just show? Yeah Oh so 100% they say that too I watched enough love is blind

mind to know. 100%. If I ever had to go undercover, I was a blackout, I would say 100% all the time. That's why I used 100 emojis all the time. Do you have to go to the bathroom?

100%. Show. You didn't want to go. All right. Whatever. Whoa, there's still chicken on that one. Yeah, that's what I mean. Who is really doing this?

Because I've seen a couple of suspect chicken wings with tons of meat on them interesting that's why people getting in on the trend let's take our Stanley cups and go throw some chicken bones I'm not even that hungry

I got a cup full of chicken bones yeah um can this yeah we read that one oh woman yeah the woman yeah okay looks like a stupid bitch

let's see what she's got to say here's my hot take about dogs? Are you fucking kidding me? White lady with a fucking Mexican candle? About dogs. So let me know if I'm onto something or not in the comments.

So what if women domesticated dogs to protect themselves and their children from men? Because if you ever met a dog that's afraid of women, I have not. And many of my foster dogs are very wary of men. And it

doesn't always seem like trauma or simple under socialization, sometimes it feels like dogs are bred to be wary, suspicious, and protective about men. Okay, imagine women living together in groups, clans, tribes, apart from men with dogs, and alerting them and protecting them from men wandering into their camps.

What if the very foundation of dog domestication began with women intentionally choosing and shaping dogs for their protection. That's your problem right there, intentionally choosing. Women have not ever done anything intentional choosing in their lives. Or chosen, yeah. I think dogs are protective of women because the dogs think that the women is their pet.

Yeah. So they see a guy coming there like, hey, don't fuck with my pet. This is my... Well, it's like when cats bring you like dead birds and stuff because they think you're not feeding yourself. Yeah. They're like, man, this guy is a fucking shitty predator.

Like, I better bring him some food. fucking starving. It's like that kind of... They don't want a man around there messing with their fucking pet woman. Well, again, I think she's doing that because look at all the Mexican shit she has on there. It's the Chihuahua stuff. It's the Dia de los Mertos kind of inspired shit, but like that's like the

widest fucking bit. The whitest bitch in the world. Yeah. That's the only one who owns all this crap. Mexicans don't own this garbage. They pan it and sell it. They own Jesus stuff. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, I don't see any Jesus Christ things around here to you. Like serving Mike, man. Jesus Christ.

Yeah, maybe that did happen. Maybe women, like, they all got together and... Oh, that's... They all got together and said, man, we should really, we should train these ferocious wolves. That's like a hundred times more dangerous than a pit bull. Right. Maybe we should do that to protect ourselves from men.

Instead of just using our... And one said, How about we just use our vaginas? And the one said, I'm sick of that. I got a headache. I'm tired of that. Let's just do the first thing that human beings ever did.

Dude, you know what's crazy? I'm sure it was women who did that. Think about, like, you brought in a study about dehydration, right? Uh-huh. Fucking, imagine that long ago, right? Before you knew you needed water.

Yeah. You just have, like, the biggest fucking bitches in the world roaming the earth. They probably just dunked them. Because you got no reason to, you know, hold back. That's why you're trying to drown all the witches. They're like, bitch, you're dehydrated. Bitch, you're dehydrated.

You've got to get in some water. And then when we're like, I'm drowning. Oh, I'm so dramatic. These guys are killing me because they're drowning me because I'm a witch. Like, you're a bitch, we said. Yeah. You need some water. We led you to water and you wouldn't drink.

So now we're drowning you in it. I would love to know from this woman what else women invented, you know? Peanut butter. Maybe we invented cars to get away from men. we invented airplanes to fly away from men What fucking male trauma? What trauma from men are you experiencing With your North Face flannel

You know It's like when you I had a client one time Bring in this tiny little yaffy dog And it fucking hated me And then I saw what her boyfriend looked like And was like Oh he probably beats you huh?

I was like, well, it makes sense, given how annoying you've been all day. But goddamn. Dogs just hate that beating is a very effective tactic. That's why they hate men so much because they want to do whatever they want. They can't make little fists. Yeah. That's what it is. I don't like these guys.

They always hit me when I'm not supposed to be doing something. I really hate these guys. Oh, good. A woman, I'll do whatever I want. Great. They bark at the women, not to protect them, but it's like a marker, like fox hunting. Yeah. Hey, she's over here.

Oh, yeah. She's over here and got to kill her. Quick. Get her. Where she gets away. Jeremy says a woman alert. All right. Woman complains about many in the sandwich.

Let's check this out. Woman alert. It's like an old side show attraction. Like, see the man eating sandwich. But it's a guy eating sandwich. This is getting out of control. Watch this HOA meeting. A woman is seriously complaining that

landscapers are eating their lunch in the common areas because it feels inappropriate. Oh, yeah. Wait, what's this? It's AI generated. Fuck you, buddy. Not doing it. Go die.

Actually, eat shit and live. Eat shit and live. Live to tell the tomb. Fat watch. All right? This is from Herman. This fat bitch died, apparently. You don't say.

Wow, now that. Too solid pound? That is a fat tub of shit. Notice her hair is the same color as a box of Kraft mac and cheese. Uh All he could only eat a tiny bit of food this morning 30 fried eggs Two solid tons of grilled sausage

Plus 15 30 fried eggs This tiny little bit of food Was her entire appetizer Before the official breakfast She grabbed the sausages and bread with her bare hands And forcefully shoved Why is the how it's made guy doing this

Voiceover Dog 30 fried eggs is what I would accuse someone of eating If they were fat To actually see that It was like Gaston eating shit fucking largest... He did more than Gaston. How many eggs

did that fucking guy eat again? Six. No, he ain't way more than that. Oh, that's right. Oh, six dozen eggs. Yeah, you're right. That motherfucker was going crazy. That guy was going nuts on eggs, yeah.

Dude. So he did eat more. He is the egg, man. Well... He was looking for the walrus, but... My 600-pound lifestyle, Dolly Martinez, has died at 30.

At just 30? I don't know about that. Well, the Martinez kind of... She didn't have a chance after 25. This is what her daily reality looked like. Plates piled high with eggs. Why is this being phrased like this?

Sausage, bread, and more. She looks like one of the bad guys in little nightmares. Like there's fat people on the maw that are like scrambling over each other to eat you? Yeah. Dude, like really. She should have got a surgery to make her mouth bigger. She is the maw, dude. She is a fucking moor.

Wow. Dolly's body was over 700 pounds. Oh. She was only 30. Notice it's like her body Not like Dolly was over it's like We have to like We have to make it separate it from her a little bit

The show followed her journey Real exciting from just Stationary position The 12 stations of Dolly You got here Leaning over this way Leaning over this way Eating

The truth is brutal But the truth is brutal Years of Extreme eating caught up to her. What is this? Is this the obituary? Yeah, this fat, this huge, this grotesquely comically fat woman died. How did she die?

I wonder. She probably slipped and fell. Yeah. She's still rolling. She's dead. They know. Still rolling. Around the earth. This isn't just one sad story.

You're right. It's not. This is not one sad story. It's a series of, It's not sad at all. You're correct. This is what happens when people are left to destroy themselves with food. Well, everyone around them enables it. We should criminalize it.

We should criminalize women being over 100 and, uh, we'll have to work out the height, but 140, 160 is pushing it. I would say 150 is the limit. I'll stop you there. Do you just criminalize women? And we'll arrest them when we feel, when we see ones that are, that are too fat, it's like, too much. It's like, you know, like, right, if you have limo-tinted windows, you can't have expired tags on your car. Right. Right.

You can't, like, you can't be doing two bad things at once. You can't be doing two bad things at once. If you're doing one bad thing, that's like, okay. Yeah. You're a bitch out in public, but you're not fucking fat. Like, fine. I'll look the other way on that. Yeah, let's not put numbers on it.

Right. Let's just go on vibes. It's one of those where if you do a double take and go, oh, Jesus. Yeah. Someone arrest that bitch. If you get jump scared, death penalty. Whoa. Yeah, we need waste management to come up with the flatbed

If you need the point five camera for selfies You're getting reported To the authorities If you need a fish eye lens Or just to get the sides of your arms in the frame A Disney adult with an infinite Who doesn't love the Disney adults Oh this is

I think this might be the one I'm thinking of Yes A fat Disney adult Takes her fake baby to the water park Uh-huh. Okay. Oh, that's a fake baby. Yeah. Oh, dude, what?

She's got a... How am I supposed to explain this? Well, I guess this would be a pleasure to explain to my son, actually. Daddy, why is that a woman have a fake doll that she's doing? Well, son, first of all, that's a fat woman. She's a totally different class, yeah. Totally different. You're thinking that this behavior is...

odd, but why would she look like that? That's more odd. Yeah. She's got the doll in a stroller. Who the fuck is filming this? God. Good question. Maybe that robot dog. Why is she showing guys from

Frozen? In the summer, yeah. Let's see the baby. Come on. She's got the baby in a pool with the frozen. What's crazy is just a lady in a pool with a bunch of props. Like the fake baby is just as real as the fucking Olaf and everything else. Does she freak out when she drops the baby? If you walk through and if you walked by and smash the baby.

Fucking Sneiko-style haymaker. Yeah. Bust its head fucking off into the sun. Yeah. Watch it like a super smasher. It's like, like, ding. Yeah. Fucking 99% to him.

Man, fuck this stupid baby. fucking football kick it over somewhere if anybody ever sees one of these fake baby weirdos and they grab the baby by the leg make sure it's fake I like and tosses it yeah

that'd be great okay here's what's fucked up you know how when people like that fucking gay guy in the wheelchair oh yeah with all the AI videos about him even in AI like a fictitious world

he's still handicapped I would fucking bet Serious amount of money that they make down syndrome and like fucking retarded fake babies too Oh yeah Tog Yeah Come on Like

Well they put my We got a little like tent for my son and they put a Retarded flashcards in there Why are you guys so in love with this? Just paying a premium to have a down syndrome ass baby Yeah definitely That's so it's like just That is a tiny little

bit more sick than what they're doing right now. So it's really, I mean, it's really just a shade of gray you're talking about. Yeah, it's a lateral move, not a... Yeah, it's not more sick, it's just differently sick. It's as sick. The magnitude of the sickness is equal. Correct.

Yeah, okay, great. You'll get like a half black down syndrome, baby, if you would please. Oh, God. And make sure it only has two fingers, yeah. I don't want to chop them off at home. I can't. It's like a drop-down menu of all the options, like baby, like total fingers like like nine oh wait i could go to 12 okay yeah oh no manny muskets all right she says i got fat

looks like she'd been there on purpose and it was the best thing i could ever do for myself i grew up in the early 2000s when being as skinny as humanly possible was the ideal beauty standard no not really there was that was one of those things time never changed on yeah there's there's never been like a you know beauty standard? It's just like there is among women where they're like, making each other insane. Right. But otherwise, just like basic, basic fitness, not

eating, not waking up and eating everything that you think about. Right. All day. Breakfast, candy, animals, anything that you see. That's been the beauty stand for women since the beginning of time. Now, growing up, I wasn't

really that fat, but I've always been extremely pear-shaped. I come from a long, line of women. Your fucking knees are knocked. Look at these knees pointing together. Shit's knocking hard on my end. God damn. It's just my genetic downfall. When I was younger, I was really insecure about it because having

wide hips and having a large bum was not ideal, at least in the community that I lived. I always dreamed of. What do you, wait, what do you mean? At least not in the community. What do you mean? What community would it be okay? The more I'm looking, the more I'm like, what is all this kid's shit

going on? And they're like, what the Oh, you think something's wrong with her? Yeah. You think having a stuffed, having a three-foot-tall stuffed peep and a teddy bear and a bunch of... Well, I think that's an actual peep she's about to devour. That's just candy, yeah. You think having a bunch of little cubes, like a kindergarten and a giant bean bag? Well, she bought it because it has food in it.

That's a bag of beans, yeah. It's real beans in there. Hips, that just were up and down. I wanted my body. to just be like this. My body was never going to be like that because that is not my body shade. I think with time...

It's just like fucking... You just can't let them think. You can't let women sit around thinking because they go insane. All their thoughts are produced by Satan. They don't know... That's the thing. Women don't know how to fish.

They catch every single fish. Every single fish. Every single fish. Yeah. Yeah. You have to sit there. You teach a man how to fish. You feed him for a lifetime,

but you teach you a woman had a fish. You teach your man how to fish. He'll come back to you a week later and show you how wrong you're doing it and make you wish you never taught him anything. Nobody's going to fish again. Okay. You've gotten a little bit more accepting of different body shapes, which is cool, but what really helped me was getting fat. I went to college. I had unlimited access to food, and I gained a little bit of weight. And when I gained weight, I was like, I actually kind of like how this looks. But I really wanted a boyfriend. And I realized, Guys didn't necessarily like girls who were chubby.

Always had this vision of, I need to lose weight, I need to lose weight. If I ever want a partner, I need to lose weight. Yeah, you do. I was like, you know what? Fuck it. I like you. Why am I always trying to do stuff that other... Fuck it, I like heroin.

I don't need... Yeah, I just decided to fully commit, yeah. I always thought that drugs were cool. Yeah, no one can tell me chocolate syrup isn't a beverage. People want me to do. Is the world going through? to end? If I get really fat, what's really going to happen? And I just started eating whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted. Now, I'm not saying, do this because it wasn't really the healthiest thing to do,

but I started gaining weight. And with the weight game, I actually started to be more confident. I don't know why. I mean, that seems to be common. That seems to be very common. I think perhaps that women have confused the definition of confident with obnoxious. Right. Because they're always talking about this confidence they get when they're fat. But when I see it, it seems to fit the definition of being obnoxious. I think they misuse the word circumference. Or rather they mean to say circumference. Because that's the only way it makes me.

That's what I gained. Oh, did you say confidence? Oh, yeah. That's like the distance around a sphere, right? No, that's circumference. Oh, I gained circumference. Yeah. Yeah.

Because man Why I got fat That's that's the women's book Why I got fat Author all women It's 900,000 pages long It's all excuses It's a fucking Bible

It's printed on that real thin paper Gideon's right next to Gideon's Bible In every hotel Why I got fat by a book by every woman Who Ever lived You're welcome I'm every woman They're all a fat borg, dude.

I filled out. I liked having curves. I didn't think having a chubby belly was gross. What was so cool about the experience was just not caring, not caring what other people thought about me and just living freely. I was able to live free. I was able to do whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted. And I liked food. Food was good.

Food brought me joy. I had a lot of fun. I enjoyed it. And it was cool to be able to experience that because they're so. many women out there, their biggest fear is to gain weight. If they gain weight, they think the world is going to end. That sounds like an awful life to live. To constantly restrict yourself.

Now I went to the extreme. Maybe you should try having a bigger fear. If your fear is, if your biggest fear is gaining weight, maybe get a bigger fear. Yeah. Like missing a mortgage. That's what fucking. That's, screwing up at work.

Man. Entertain that. Entertain that. As a hypothetical. What if my fear was screwing up at work? Nah, I don't care about that. I just care about gaining weight. Man.

Unreal. I don't think everyone needs to go to the extreme. Gaining a lot of weight was extremely freeing. And it helped me realize. What about acting like a little kid. Your appearance. What you look like. It's not ever getting.

It doesn't matter. I'm telling you to go get fat if you're not fat. Having a little cork chung his fucking headband like Shrek. That's not. How long she's cosplaying as Shrek's wife? Right? Is that what this is?

I was just about to say, I'm like, wait a sec. You get fat, it's not the end of the world. And if you are fat and you think it's the end of the world, that's because that is your perspective. You are making it be that way. I'm pretty sure coronary is making that way, making it that way for fat cells.

Pretty sure clogged arteries. I'm making it that way. If anything really bad happened, you have so much survival things. fat on your body that you could just live off of water You could live off the corchungis. I got a fat time.

All right. She couldn't live off of water for five minutes. She's going to call the rescue helicopter when it's desk. I got to get down. She's on the third floor at her job. Okay.

Let's do some voicemails. Is that, do we play the end theme now and then do some voicemails? I think so. I think that's the progression that we routine. Presenting show.

Patreon.com slash the Dick Show. Dick. Dick. See you next Tuesday. Let's place a voice mail. What's the news in the quarterings flag out? What's going on there?

Do you know? I don't know. You familiar with all the goings-ons? I sent you some shit, too. Oh, you did? Oh, great. Yeah, if you would like. Yeah, we have time.

What time is it? 150? Yeah. Do you see the Trump? and venom thing that Iran made. There's a guy dumping sewage into the sewer in L.A. Isn't this nice? Dush dumping, fucking dumping shit into the sewer.

Man. Living his life. Dumping his RV sewage septic tank into the fucking sewer. What's the sewer for? Sewage, right? Makes sense. I don't know. Hey, Dick, I got a rage for you.

The other day I was driving through a town. I ain't close to me about two hours away from me. Hadn't been there in a while, and I suddenly realized something I'd seen before, but this time it just pissed me off to no fucking end. So you know how the government just like fucks us all the time? Right, yeah. And only some people notice it.

Well, I don't know how anybody could fucking ignore when you're driving down a road and there's a goddamn road sign. Your pants are full of foam. That says, rough road ahead. Hey. Oh, yeah. Why don't you fix the road?

Fucked up. We're not even gonna fucking fist it. Hey, fuck you. That's what that sign might as well say. Yeah, that sign might just fucking say. This road is rough.

The sign's cool, though. Horns up your ass. We're not gonna do fuck all. It piss me off in the fucking end. All right. Smooches for Donnie. Love you. Go fuck yourself.

Dude, I feel that rage passionately because there was a pothole in the sidewalk by the studio. Uh-huh. And the city put like a little, like a frame like you know white construction barrier over it yeah I'm like okay fine someone's gonna fix it the next day it was still there and I took a picture every day for two weeks and finally the a frame leaves and they put a bag a sealed bag of fucking asphalt on top

and then a cone next to it and that sat there for two weeks and then the bag disappeared and the cone was still there and then finally they had just repaved the sidewalk after six months dude there's all these like roots that fucked up the sidewalk up here so they come by and they just paint the sidewalk yellow yeah where it's sticking up that's not

fucking pry it up and fucking fix it yeah fucking cut the root out I don't give a shit repore this bitch I don't care yeah do something fuck man uh hey dick hey Johnny

am I an asshole or am I working the system intelligent mate There's a store a few towns over, and they make the best fucking sandwich. I quickly realized that they use standard pay thank you tickets or stickers when you pay. I started looking on Amazon. I found that you could buy a fucking roll away a thousand. So I haven't paid for a sandwich and fucking, oh, I don't know.

That's just, I mean, it's theft. You're just stealing. Dealing sandwiches. That's like a trailer park boy. level of crime. Yeah. No, that's tight.

I'm sure it'll be really funny after you've stolen like $1,000 worth of sandwiches and you get arrested for a felony. That would be really hilarious. You're going to wish

you had those sandwiches behind bars. A guy, my dad, you know, my dad, own a McDonald's. A couple of McDonald's and one of his,

so they all know each other, all the McDonald's owners. Oh, shit. He got extorted one time. They were like, yeah, people always call on and say,

your food made me sick. Like, it's just like a, scamo number one, you know, people stealing from you and, and, uh, manager's stealing and, uh, people calling in saying you made him sick. And one guy, one guy called up, one of his friends said, hey, your McNuggets made me sick. The guy said, oh, sorry, we'll give you free McNuggets, you know, sorry about that, because it's always bullshit. Yeah. Maybe it's true every once in a while, but why would you call, hey, your fucking food made me sick, you know? Yeah, you want some.

Get some free food. Okay. So the guy said, oh, well, uh, no, I want some money. I want some money or else I'm going to go to the paper, whatever, he said. And he goes, I want like 900 bucks, right? Or something like, he had some figure. And so he comes in, the guy called the cops. The guy owned like 30 McDonald's. He's like, called the cops. The cops like, oh, yeah, okay, we'll be there.

We'll arrest them. And they showed up, and the guy, the owner goes, oh, hey, yeah, I went ahead and made it a thousand for you, you know, because I felt so bad. And the guy goes like, oh, that's nice. You took it, cops swoop in, like catch a predator, arrest him. Yeah. Felonies a thousand bucks. It's like, wow, that guy is a fucking bastard.

What a fucking real bastard, man. Cool. I don't know what happened to the guy, but hopefully he was raped. Hopefully. Fuck that motherfucker, man. The nuggets probably were bad, but, you know. He deserved it. Deserve it.

If you get bad, $9 of the bucks. If you get fast food that makes you sick. Dick, you didn't have a clear heart when you were ordering. That's your, yeah. Totally, totally true. Dick, I've got a serious question. This has bothered me for a long time. When Mexicans take four minutes to place an order,

what are they talking about with 25 questions and what are they doing? Your standards are a lot better than mine, man. Please tell me. Mexicans have longer names for everything. So you order like a Big Mac, the translation for Big Mac in Mexican. in Mexican is like El Super Grande Mercado

Emborgesa Ciste, McDonald's. It's like a really long, it's like their own names. They got like a really long, like a Mexican address isn't like number and then street. It's like house with the blue roof with that vents is a little bit broken. You make a left at the family

a directo at the middle of town and then they just, that's how they do it. Well and they're also using it as a bargaining tactic. Like oh, if I get this without sour cream, do I get $25? five cents back. Again, same argument I had, but, you know. And then could I get, if I, if I get two cheeseburgases, could I stack them? And then could I give you the buns back and I give five cents back? For the fun like that, yeah. Yeah. And then I have the double cheeseburger. Or do I,

it's five cents cheaper than the double cheeseburger. But can I give five more cents back? Do you're negotiating? Double cheeseburger at a taco shop is underrated, man. They're hard negotiators. Mm-hmm. you guys it's most retarded about the Bible oh Israel the country

is not the same thing as Israel reference in the Bible oh you mean the magical the magical concept of the thing in the Bible is not the same as the country that shows the name because it's in the Bible please explain it

the fucking concept is so confusing to us and everybody you're the fuck mister fucking Bible explainer. Let's hear it. Really? I feel like the sun parted the clouds. You mean.

You mean I've been duped by Israel this whole time? Because I fucking love the Israel that's in the Bible. It's news to me, man. The Israeli country, that's the trick they've played on all these evangelicals to believe that. Who is this for? For anyone to actually

believe that is fucking retarded in the Christian context, it's actually heresy. And so all these ungellible, they're right astray by these, uh, cheat. You don't say. Stupid. But, uh, I just want you guys to know that that's not the Bible. That's not much about.

But you're telling, you're telling, I'm sorry, Nick Fuentes has been in my house. What about Israel do you think I don't know? No, this guy's enlightening. You guys, it's most retarded about the Bible. Israel, the country is not the same thing as Israel referencing the Bible. shit. That's a bar. I totally They fucking duped us. Is that what you saying? What else

have we been duped on? Man. I got to go back through all my knowledge of Israel. What else is a have they, what else have they played as a trick? I don't know. Thank you for the call. He's taking us out of the cave with this allegory. Thank you, Plato. Dick, Johnny, I've realized that when women say you're lucky, someone's lucky, that's just a

synonym or competent. It understands the world. Yeah, they're rewriting in real time whatever's happening so they can rationalize it or cope with it. You're so lucky you can do that. Really? Is that what it is? There's a huge overlap between women and

retards. People who've been in jail too long. You know what I'm talking about? Where it's like they call it spelling because you're writing down like you know, you're casting a spell with every word you say.

And so it's like this like this re-incantation of it all in real-time. Yeah, it's nuts, dude. That's the one. All right, let's go to find it. Viscosity and propensity. And people have been in prison for too long. Yeah, they just make shit up

and then are like, see, but I was thinking it so it's right. I did not think that was going to be funny. It's like, It just occurred to me, man. It's that shit when you read too much retarded material, and then you become retarded, and you're like, yeah, but... And you got nobody around to correct you because you're already in fucking prison. You're around a bunch of retards, yeah.

And so then everyone's like, yeah, yeah. It's like when those crackheads were trying to explain splendiferous to each other where they're all blasting off, and I'm standing there like, what the fuck is going on? But that's, you know, like, well, you know, I... You're so lucky that, you know, the star is aligned and it's like, shut the fuck up. Go back to prison. Yeah, exactly.

Go back to your books. Did your prison buddies teach you that one? Stupid bitch. Oh, man. So I call this one, I hate art, I think. Okay. But I hate comics and everything as an extension, as you'll see. Original character is great, guys.

What do you mean I can drive in the car and listen to the radio? And I hear a particular song and start thinking about my OC and all the ways I haven't yet heard him and start crying over that. it's great. Having an original character is great, guys. What do you mean I can drive in the car? Yeah, is the character? It's that like fucking, the chungest filmography of like the looking,

you know, so autistic, you can't even look at the camera type beat. I can't make eye contact with myself by accident. Yeah, I might die. I just want to say a few things on this real quick. So you can let me your show, that'd be cool. I'm not the pleasure meeting. My name is Angel. I'm a dungeon master who identifies as a trans man and I'm gonna speak a little bit on that.

A dungeon master. I am receiving messages and threats and comments from people who don't have anything better to do that to bother me. Uh, just be a trans journey however I am as a person. Just be a fucking... Just be a woman. They usually more than often than not don't... Come on, man.

You know what's crazy? I could find, if I met a guy that lived in a fucking cave in China, a man, and didn't even speak. If I went back 200,000 years and met like a proto man, a Chinese Mongolian proto man, within 90 seconds, I could find something in common with that guy. I guaranteed. Like, look at this. This rock's bigger than the other rock. Oh, son of a bitch. I bet you could throw that one first.

I would not even speak it, right? I'd be like, ah. And he's like, oh, yeah. Fucking Rock is bigger I bet you I could spend 10,000 years and find nothing in common with this man It's just that like

Give me a fucking break Again it's that son at you like Well I have an original character Yeah it's this Yeah you're a character all right Original no but Talking to that man and some fat bitch comes walking And you're like oh

Exactly But yeah In perfect English you would scream I'm a man I'm a baby shit but yeah so it's just like

you know I was spinning rings with my son he has these these ring stacking thing and I took one off and went on the floor and put it on an end to end

and flick the side and it started spinning right and he goes whoa I was staring at it so then I'm doing it again and again and you know how some of them don't go very well

I had like a string of duds in a row and then I had a good one and he looked And he was like, nice, that was a good one. And I was like, yeah, that's... He recognized. Guess what? A little girl here would not be appreciating this.

He's like, damn, look at the spin on that motherfucker. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, so that was clip number one. We have... Oh, cats can talk, like fat queers, apparently. What is this? They're getting so amorphously fat. You can't tell.

Well, and the hair's getting smaller, too. They have that 80s fat video game villain hair. That little curly cue, like ironic curly cue. Yeah. With the buzz sides and like bevoff and rock steady. Yes. Yeah. Like final fight.

Like the fucking boss at the end of NARC. Yeah. Well, he was bald, I think. My animal communication readings this week, I had a cat describe another. Is this AI? I sound, the voice sounds like AI. No. Another cat in the house as the feline equivalent of beige paint.

That's certainly a new one, but it does go to show that our animal friends all have relationships with each other much like you. What? In one of my animal communication readings this week, I had a cat describe another cat in the house as the feline equivalent of beige paint. That's certainly a new one, but it does go to show that our... So that's how Helen Keller and Coco the gorilla, the gorilla, happened. And shout out to Taylor from PKK for the Helen Keller truthing. You always got a credit where credits do.

But man, that's like, she read that as a tweet somewhere and thought that was the funniest thing ever and is like, I'm gonna pretend like my cat said it today when I'm doing a reading. She probably reuses that line a lot. I guaranteed. Well, because I check, this one I actually checked the account and she's like, people ask me like, what happens if

my pet doesn't like me? It's like she's making it the fuck up. You fucking retards? Like, what the fuck? Rakey practice, animal communication intuitive, rakey practitioner, feral human being, helping you hear the animals in your life and work with them.

P.G.H. What does that stand for? Pig. Pretty gravy hungry? Pretty gravy hungry. Pretty giant human. Pig-style gun have her? So she's like Dr. Doolittle, but like Dr. Doolot?

Do not. Nothing? Yeah. do nothing. Dr. Fondu Lotz. And you're telling me women pay for this service? It's a blind leading the blind, man. It's not even the dumbest thing women buy.

No, I know. By far. What's crazy, it's like, it's like when one Indian learns a scam, so then they turn around and scam their neighbor, and it creates this MLM of scams. Shit, I clicked on the same one. Yeah, no, this Moving pet loss grief through the body. Let's talk about it.

There are many different options. Why is her audio like this? You may find that one modality works better than another. I think it's sped up a little bit. And whatever's working best for you may shift through time. That is okay. The biggest thing truly is allowing ourselves to experience grief. Is blue shifted?

Her face is fat shifted. She's going, she's gone plaid. Man. You know, you're probably right because working in vet med requires a level of compassion that you clearly are. incapable of. I mean, that's true, yeah. I'm compassionate to all the people in your life

that have to deal with Reiki, practising, animal communicating. Well, Reiki healing is fucking bullshit anyway. It's some asshole waving his hands above you going like, yeah, I'm removing all this negative energy. Get the snakes out of there, I say. Get the bugs out from underneath my skin. If you're a real healer.

There's too many bugs. Get them out. All right. Okay, shut up and dance with me. I forget what this one was. Oh, God, damn it. I'm sorry for this one. What the fuck? My husband? So You're correct about Indian

And so it's a little girl dancing And there's like a Like a crippled looking dummy on a weight machine With leg braces on? It's a stand-up machine That's how he stands up. Oh, that's a guy. That's a dead guy.

Oh, not a dead guy, but like a paralyzed guy. What the fuck? And she's dancing in front of him And he's like frozen like Ah! He's doing a killer Terry shy though impression. And he's just standing there in a stand-up machine

in India with like you know, cinderblock floor and typical India hobble. There's a ring light over here for no one. It just feels like an affront to God. Like, watch me dance right in front of you. You can't even process. And he feels like Indiana Jones too.

It's like, Kit this the fuck out of here, man. Indian Jones too. Indian Jones. No, sir. Do not read. I was just like, why the fuck would you post this? Like, this is... That belongs in a museum, sir. Wow.

It's sick. Okay, and this one, better than angel wings? Uh... Yeah, cardboards. Long live shiasty, it says, and then it's... I thought that was his inmate number at the bottom. I thought so too at first. That's his life.

The 321, 2008 to 1-9, 2025. Long live, she's dead. So that's not the right. Yeah, you got the memo out a little too late. Like I love that even in the cardboard cutout, he's still holding an invisible gun. And has prop money. Oh, is that what he's doing?

I thought he was tossing out hundreds. You're right, though, he was holding an invisible gun. Huh. And this kid's supposed to be like 13. Is that the only picture they had of him? Is him with guns? They airbrushed out? He's 17 or 17 or 18, but.

Yeah, check this account, man. Wow, long live shiasty. Bro. Is that his real name? At this point, it could be. Oh, of course, they're playing. Oh, my God, is this a new funeral thing that you found? Yeah, dude.

A new black people funeral. Wow. Grave digger already has opinions on this. He's got a call back in. We need him to call back in. Maybe week after next. If I got... Ray Ray is coming in next week.

Awesome. If I get a fucking keychain that you get at like the bank or some shit with my face on it after I'm dead, I'm going to be pissed. Forever in My Heart. Laisha Customs. Forever in my heart, Francis. Which one is Francis? The man or... Oh, it's a woman.

Could be either of them. Yeah, no, it's both of them again. But it's those like flimsy rubber keychains. You just like get it. And it'll turn yellow in like fucking six months. Trevor, the best keepsakes for memorials. Get your name printed on some fake flowers. Well, you should cut them.

And she'll make a big cardboard stand-up of... They all have guns. Yeah. This kid has a handgun with a barrel in it. Yeah. A barrel extender, an ammo barrel. He's got the fucking drum on it. Yeah.

drum. Oh, and he died? Wow. Long live, what's his name? DARTDirty Dan? Come on. Can we get a Sean cut out? Wait, look at the time. It cuts the top of his fucking head off. They couldn't AI that on? We need a Sean cut out to sit behind me. We need a Sean cut out that I can like either stick my face through, like those

carnival things or it's just the eyes in the mouth and I stick that through man if we had a Sean cut out I'd rig up the bot real good he I think would actually drive through your living room while we're in it just end the curse once for all a memorial solo cup a black solo cup with some hoochie on it and she's dead I guess what is this

the cheetah it's a birthday cup okay the cheetah print background sells it Okay Another Mute Memorial Forever Vell Dead 18 Dead at 18

Black people are still killing each other As teenagers It's still happening What fuck? The photo strip Of the same photo And like the

Like well fucking Why don't they get their act together Knock the shit off? That looks like a bread expiration date code it does that's fucking crazy like you see on the tag

the font is like the fats part two yeah from uh tropic thunder okay why she got gloves so her fingerprints don't end up on it

I know this will end up in a crime scene eventually okay oh you can get a Jesus oh my God He is hard-ass. Okay, this is an old guy with a cowboy hat and a gun, obviously.

Siempre and Nuestros... What should say? Coresones, but I can't read it. Oh, yeah, I guess it does. Okay. Is that a saying in Spanish? A literal translation of Forever in our hearts? See, usually with, you know,

euphemisms, it's something that means the other thing, but it's not a literal translation. Right. Like they don't have raining cats and dogs. It's not like Yorona like perosi. I mean, maybe it is, but I don't know. Usually it's not.

It's like a common response being, a la verga. Yeah. Usually idioms are not direct translations. Ala verga. Fucking, you know, having a bad day, having a good day. Right. It doesn't matter. You just got to say it.

I guess I'll have to ask my dad. He knows that. I know he'll know his thing. Actually, it's like this. all right goodbye everybody see ya thanks cutouts and guns

your graduation or funeral you're the one they both took fucking 18 years to get through I bet they probably made it and then he got shot in a drive-by and I'm like well just use the hey this guy's got a fucking drum on him

we better fucking smoke him yeah good give him a metal that guy looked yeah the whole A ton of slugs, yeah. That guy's got too many bullets for 18. Shouldn't have bad many bullets? Maybe a couple.

A bullet for every year you've been alive? No, that's too many. You need it, just a couple. You're 18, you could have one clip. It'd come out looking like those fucking star papers you're supposed to shoot off with BBs at the fucking... I guess you get one bullet a year. Right.

If you saved them all up by the time you're 18, then, okay, you could have a whole drum like that. Yeah. You shouldn't have a whole drum like that, but... That's like a premium. Usually you guys get too excited and just shoot it right away on your birthday. And there was your bullet. All right.

Goodbye. See ya.