The Dick Show - Episode 515 - Dick on Fargonauts

Episode Date: July 6, 2026

Four women end Western Civilization, a fight with my dad over the air conditioner, the end of The Biggest Problem in the Universe--again, and a new Weight Watchers; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!

I got the lights on in here? Seems darker. It is darker. It seems darker somehow. A dark turn. A light has been extinguished in the universe. A light has gone dark in the Dick Show universe. My wife said, how do you feel?

I said, I feel fucking great. I walked in and I heard you whistling a sprightly tune and I was like, wow. Sounds like it's the last week of school for summer kicks in, yeah. Oh, oh, man. Free at last. I just can't. Free at last. Lord Almighty, I am free at last.

That was me on Fourth of July. Looking at all the fireworks thinking, yeah, I am. Freedom. Yes. Freedom. Freedom. Freedom. No, I'm joking.

I appreciate everyone's support on the biggest problem. Thanks for sticking it in there. It was this guy. But come on. We all know what's going on. I'm just like, I'm just like rushing every, every fucking day is, every fucking day I'm lurching across the finish line. You're not supposed to have kids when you're 45. I don't know if you know that. But on Thursdays, I'm like, oh God, my wife's rushing to do dinner. I'm like, just sticking

her with everything, dinner, clean up, bath time, bedtime, bedtime. I feel bad. Every week I'd feel worse and worse. I'm like, why am I doing this for my fucking wife? To have what is like ostensibly a failing cover band. Why am I this is like, this is not a behavior that I want to do here. You know?

Have fun with that, honey. I'm going to go play in my steely my shitty steely Dan cover band where we actually just sit around and talk about what's wrong with the recording. We don't even play any music. That's my interpretation of the Steely Dan.

I mean, that was basically Steely Dan themselves, too. Well, right. That's what I'm saying. You know, that's for you real Sean heads out there. For you real Sean heads out there. That must have been what Sean felt like when he quit this show. Freedom. I don't have to deal with that.

I don't have to deal with that whack job ever again. Do you think he stepped out of the door and turned into like a bunch of birds and flew away? Yeah. Is that like attack on Titan? Is that the end of attack? on Titan? Mr. Medicaard told me that that's the end of attack on Titan.

Oh, I have no idea about any of that shit. I just feel like that's like a funny thing to happen. Anime's good for like one or two episodes and then it just sucks for like 10 years.

It just all sucks, man. Sox. Fucking sucks. It just fucking sucks, man. Appreciate all the support. I try to keep it going, you know. The guy, this guy, Jay, that I chat with from time to time.

on Discord. I popped into the Discord one day to, you know, to dish the hot goss with the gals in the Discord like I like doing. And he goes, all right, I'm out, folks. I stuck around for a year. I thought it would get better, but it's not. And I said, fuck, that is the truest shit. You're, me too. You're, me too, Jay. I'm out too. I'll see you in five years. I'll see you in five years when this one, when this trademark expires. Gotta take it all over again. It's like the Michigan

J. Frog bit, right? Yeah. You start, they just demolish an old building and find the frog and they're like, we're going to make a shoot ton of money, and then they prop them up, make a shit ton of money, and then it's the future. It's a curse. It's a curse. It's a curse. Someone else digs him back up and goes, wait a second, we could turn this

into a money-making machine. It's the prototype, you know, friendship, podcastmanship. Not a business. People keep saying business. It's not a fucking business. You dumb motherfucker.

It's just anything, yeah. It's a series of logins. It's a series of like people being jackasses until the audience is like, I'm sick of these jackasses. You know? Happens, man.

The audience goes, oh yeah, I love these jackasses and they're jackassery and then 10 years and they're like, I'm sick of these jackasses. These guys fucking suck for the same exact and worst reasons. Okay, where's my board? There we go. Let's do it.

I can't hear shit. Man, I'm going to pull this fucking noise. What? Oh, yeah, oh yeah. Whoops, I forgot. Yeah! Welcome to Dick. You want a dick, you need, Dick, you love Dick.

You got it. It's the showroom's a contest. It's going to live from Mount Boker. D.B. in the heartiest of the city of failure. I mean, host Dick Manchester, the $20 million. daughter man joining me is uh johnny the audio engineer we got to get you some superlatives i guess so right yeah guessing guessing guessing in the corner guess it's coming to you from the chair in the corner that's not good is it no that's not Sean corner do you have a nice fourth of july i did dude you know

I had a very american realization okay you know how living in L.A you just you hear the leaf blower and you immediately just turn into a rage. Yeah. I realized. Fucking Mexicans, yeah. It's not the leaf blower. That's the problem. It's the Mexicans.

Yeah. There's not enough white people using leaf blowers anymore, man. I don't think there's been one ever in a long time. It's like the most boomer invention. You could just take a broom. Yeah. Do that. Yeah.

Or the classic hose even. Take the hose. No, you can't waste water, man. We need it for the AI. We need the AI needs that water. No, I need to hose. I need to, I need to, stand in my front yard every day and hose off my sidewalk. I'm going to get one of those old

nozzles, you know, old pointy little metal ones. Now, just take the whole thing off, put your thumb over. Just super old school style. Really get that fucking stank on it, you know? You know, I, I got to go buy another hose because my, uh, my extendo hose, I don't know why I bought this stupid extendo hose. It's like, when the hose gets wet, it gets longer. It's like, cool. Sign me up. That doesn't sound like stupid. And it said for idiots across the top. And I was like, oh yeah, awesome.

A hose that gets wet and gets longer. Instead of a normal hose. Yeah. This ain't your daddy's hose, right? And then it came with like a, this hose, and you do a click, and it's got like a different hose type. And all of them are, there's only one that's sort of good. And then the other ones are like, like, you know,

dribbling out the dribbler it's got a hose setting there's like seven settings it's like a wheel of fortune that you spin and then it lands on a hose type yeah I really hate I just want the old metal one that you go those things were awesome the um you know the

six shooter one or whatever you got yeah those always pissed me off because it's like okay I get the flat one right if you're trying to do like the concrete sort of it kind of it made I at least get the It's like what a Chinese person imagined what you'd need with a yard. Yeah, it's like, oh, probably like a fratuan, yeah?

To go all around. It's just variety for varieties' sake. Exactly. It's like, get this to fuck off of who made this? Reverend Scott says, talk about how it's impossible not to eat and drink so much in the Fourth of July that you end up on Fat Watch. Oh, my God. Damn. I got bust her.

Fourth of July. Oh, yeah. I woke up and saw this idiot. posting on Next Door. I wrote it down. What exactly did he say? He said, loud booms constantly.

Anyone else hearing this? It can't just be me every night. No, you fucking fruit. Why the fuck would you live in L.A.? It's the sound of freedom. It's the sound of freedom and free health care for Mexicans. Illegal Mexicans. That's what they're celebrating.

A couple of them are celebrating freedom, but most of them are celebrating free trips to the ER for their grandmas who are somehow like 30 years past their expiration date that's what there's it's called a celebration man

what are you talking about loud booms every night loud booms every I think there was less than there was less this year than years before though I think ice freaked him out oh because everybody's got

I imagine every group of illegal Mexican criminals has one like illegal they're like hey can we not can we not do the fireworks at two in the morning all week this year. I want to see now that would be a race war I want to see is the firework war. We got

like the, got all the Armenian cats in the valley. You know that got some fucking crazy fucking fireworks going on. You got all the Mexicans and you're like just everybody get your best representation of fireworks and light them motherfuckers off. Preferably. Yeah, let's have a big race war.

Space race, yeah. Let's have a Mexican space race. The aerospace race. Everybody shoot off fireworks. Hey, good time. I got him. All I wanted to do is have a Fourth of July and not argue with my dad, right? Oh.

Let's just have one. I'm arguing with my dad. Setting yourself up for the impossible here, dude. Now I have a kid. I'm like, wait, is my right. If I was saying something like this to my son, I would want him to say whatever he wants. It's like,

last time I was there last time we spent the night up there we spent the night up there again because we didn't want the Mexican militia keeping our kid up all night down here which they do plus the nitrous gnaggers were running kids over last year's we gotta get out of here yeah I set up my home alone style

booby traps upstairs a little pretend party on a train set going around so he'll welcome Matt over the shit pit yeah welcome Matt I took all the cats off the shit pit. Free flan. A key. A little plastic shovel to eat with.

Andalé! I called ice. I did, you know, I did everything that you have to do in L.A. to keep you shit. Because they're coming. The socialists are, did you see Mom Dami? Mammani? Briefly saw something about that. What's that all about?

He had all these tubby, tubby foreign pieces of shit. circling George Washington flanking him on George Washington's old desk Circling the wagons Circling the wagons Yeah circling the tortoise Mamdami had a circling of the tortoise around George Washington's original desk

Let me see if I can pull this up I'll tell you my dad I broke another keyboard man Maldani Yeah Mamdani and his socialist circling George Washington's desk here it is look at this circling of the tortoise

there we go they got like not one of not one of them they're all like it's not like the grumpiest woman on a bus right every single one do they even know they're being photographed here you got this one

in a hijab this one's like the annoying woman at the at a poor like a bad dentist office. This guy's just on his way to the library, you know. This old,

old Mexican here. This guy, this guy might actually know what's going on in the back. Angry Black. It's, look at these, look at these,

uh, underarms that we have here. Is this America? Does this? Is this America right here? These, God damn. Giant flabby tortoise here.

This fucking bitch is not even looking in the right times. Like, She might as well be facing the wrong way. Look at this one. This one's looking the wrong direction. They're all looking the wrong direction. Was that a choice?

Was that a director's choice? Hey, um, brown people. Not you, ma'am, Donnie. Everybody look in the wrong direction. Just pick a spot on the wall behind the camera and look at it. Like the same look you give every customer you've ever had to deal with or anybody anywhere, any white person or young person

who's going, what the fuck are you doing? Pretend you're in a situation like that. Pretend you're getting honked at in traffic. What's the face you'd make? Zone out. They're all fucking zoned out, dude. Look at this. I mean, this bitch is giving attitude.

I can smell it. I can smell whatever that perfume is. Looking down. Looking off to the side. This guy's looking at God knows what. Anyway. It's like if you're waiting in line at the DMV on the 4th of July and they passed out like little flags to everyone like, okay, here's like our spirit day. Like smile for the fucking camera.

Or at least look in this general hemisphere. So they go, uh, they're like, yeah, we're, uh, we're here to kill you and take you stuff and burn your civilization in the ground. Like we're, we're socialism. We're here to take you stuff. burn your civilization to the ground and then kill you. In that order, like we've been trying since the beginning of time, basically, the fall of every Christian civilization since the beginning of time has been because of these people.

We're here now. We're here to take your stuff. And here's a warning about it. And the only thing that I see in response is, he's sitting at the desk backwards. The socialist is sitting at the desk backwards. Like, man, you,

fuck you. You guys need to grow up. You need to stop, you need to really stop looking to own everyone. It's getting tedious. The, like the cute, clever, first of all, it's not.

The desk has drawers on both sides. Now, is he sitting at the correct, side of the desk with drawers on both sides? I don't know. Probably not because I see that it has a lockhole on it. I don't know. It's not really important, though. The important thing is that they're coming to kill you and take your stuff and burn your civilization

to the ground. I saw it, Sernovich said, what's the answer to this? All these socialists winning. Everything. Now what's the answer to this retarded spectacle? What's the answer to all the socialist winning? Well, it's fascism. Obviously.

That's been since the beginning of time. That's the answer And that doesn't start That doesn't include Cutsi Oh look he's sitting at the desk the wrong way I bet he'll feel really stupid When he's stealing my stuff

And sitting at a desk the wrong way Yeah, his family's gonna take all your shit the wrong way too You're using the bag the wrong way Sir, you're not supposed to carry my stuff out of my house with one shoulder Uh anyway I think it was I don't know what it is every time I sleep my parents house, I get a

almost no sleep and then I come home like on top of that, feeling like I drank like a pitcher of syrup on top of that because they eat a big or maybe it's lunch for them, I don't know, they eat a big breakfast. It's always like, my dad

gave me this, I woke up after sweating my fucking ass off all night in this torture chamber that they call a bedroom. You remember last time I went up there last month There was my mom's fucking clockmageddon. She got six clocks in every room hidden under the floorboards.

Master countdown, yeah. A fucking countdown strikes again. This time we're putting my son to bed. My wife's putting my son to bed. She brings out the baby monitor and she shows me and she's like, it's 78 degrees in there. God damn. What the fuck is this?

Dad, what the hell is this? Why is it 78 degrees? in your in your house in his room he's like well did you turn

the air on yeah the fucking air's on what do you mean is the air on yeah did he even heat mode or something

that's what he said he's like is it on cool like get the fuck out of here don't talk to me like that dude you never know with old people man because they'll be doing some shit

where it's like well it says 76 it's like yeah you turn it to fucking heat turn to heat so he says will it takes a couple hours to cool down.

Holy shit. All right, what? What is it the first AC? A couple hours. I just let it go. I'm like, oh, whatever. A couple hours. I don't know.

It's been, I don't. I'm looking at my, I'm looking at the, I'm looking at the fucking temperature on the baby monitor and looking at my wife and she's like, giving me that look.

Like, uh, I can't say anything. It's not my parents. I'm like, I'm looking at my poor baby's days. Like, am I really going to fuck him over in a 70 degree 78 degree room? Man. Like, what are you talking about? It takes two hours to cool down.

I think he put on Project Hail Mary. I think that's what did it. Because I see all the science happening and I'm like, I'm not getting taught. This is what I would do in this situation. This is a science problem. Yeah. This needs some, I need to science the shit out of this. Am I going to leave my son die on Earth? Looking up fucking airflow. Astrofag.

What do they call them? Astrofacts, the thing that eats the sun? Oh, the Farganoths? How am I going to let my son get eaten by the Farganats? Am I too much of a coward to say anything? That fucking house does not take two hours to cool down? He's like, my house is bigger than yours. how much bigger?

Do you live in the fucking Staples Center? Then if your house is that big, you should... Why isn't your AC that big then? Yeah, someone did the math wrong there. And I see them getting all charged up with science on that show and I'm like, God damn it! No, it's not.

No, it isn't. When does it cool down then? To a fucking acceptable temperature. Then he goes a couple hours. I said, how do you know that's not just the fucking ambient temperature of the night cooling it down? He's like, what do you mean? Oh, God damn it.

My dad, I love him. He's so wonderful. But if you got Rick and Morty teleported with him together to a new dimension, he'd explain things about the dimension. You're like, you just fucking got here too. What do you mean? Maybe it's just me. Maybe it's the people that I, people that I'm friends with, I think,

all have this one quality. I'll have this one quality. I don't know what it's, I don't know how to, I don't know what the word for it is. well I don't know what it's asshole but it's like very specific of they will sit there and they will say invariably they'll sit there for long enough and they'll say I don't think that's right I don't think what's going on here is right not like racial injustice or anything like that but like I don't think that this is technically correct I don't think that what you're

doing is the correct way that that thing is supposed to be used And people fucking hate that because they'll invent a whole mythology around why they have to tap the door 12 times or jigger the keys or do something and why that's correct. Not like it's broken. I think the shit's broken.

This is fucking broken. I said, Dad, I think you're fucking A. Your A.C.'s broken. Not I think it's broken. Your A.C.'s broken. He goes, no, it's now. He just had I'm looking at it. And I'm seeing in like, now I'm seeing in like Zoom in vision you know when they do in movies

to make it like where you can see like the LCD screen and it's like I'm just seeing it 78 my wife goes it went down to 77 that's not that's a negligible

you turn my AC down and it's fucking freezing instantly any modern AC you turn it on house cools down within 10 to 15 he says we just got it done

it's fine said, okay. I'll be right back. Pause the movie. I'll be right back. So, of course, when I get up, he's like, oh, you know. So I go around, I think, well, maybe the, I turn it all on. I'm like, all right, the intake thing, you know, that big grate that goes like,

Oh, yeah. That's working. Maybe the fans are busted. Maybe the vents are busted. So I go around, look in the vent. I come back downstairs, and I said, hey, Mute it. Mute it for a second.

Don't interrupt me. Let me just say this. Don't interrupt it. Your fucking working AC system? You got no fucking air coming out of any of your vents. None. Zero.

He's like impossible. He goes up. He puts a piece of toilet paper on a broom and puts it next to the intake thing. He goes, there you go right there. And I'm like, well, that's not that's not what I said, is it? Yeah, that's obviously working.

You can hear it. You didn't need a, you didn't need a piece of toilet paper, Mr. Wizard. Come over here. This vent, not a goddamn thing. This vent, not a goddamn thing. This vent, not a goddamn thing. It's like, what about in the baby's room? I'm like, I'm not going to go in there to wake the fucking baby up.

Your shit is busted. It's busted, and he goes over to the thermostat. He goes, well, here's why. because you put this on fan on I'm like what are you talking about he goes well it's supposed to be auto that's what turns on the compressor and I said that's not what turns on the compressor

that's not how it works that's for the fucking fan that's for the fucking fan the compressors with the temperature that's how fucking you can hear the compress I can hear because I hear everything in the whole neighborhood because I've been cursed by God you can hear that it's on outside

he goes out must have been the tubes must have come off in the attic. Okay. Attic is a fucking ice box. Let's get the ladder out. That's what I was, right? That's what I thought to is I pushed the attic thing out.

And I was like, there, it's fine. And he goes, I felt a cold air coming out. I'm like, you did not feel any fucking cold air coming out. That, man, that kind of shit fucking, that makes me want to push someone out of the attic. Yeah. I climb up into the, because I thought like, okay, maybe the fan auto things broken we just turn it on broken. Climb up in the attic I'm like

it's boiling hot up here everything's working not one fucking vent and the whole house is going how long you've been do you run this ever how often do you run this shit well not really ever because it takes so long to cool down again

and no one fucking thought hey my shit doesn't work so I go down and said hey what the hell I put this talk on on the fan. I put this to on so I could test my theory of your auto switch is broken. I put the fan to on so it would be on because I thought maybe the auto switch was broken, right? So let's just turn it on and give it a couple minutes and see if it kicks on, right? He goes, yeah, I know,

but that's not how it works. So I put it to auto. And I said, yeah, I know that you did that. So I went back. I knew that you would do that. So I went back a minute later, and I put it back to On. And he says, I knew that you would do that. So I went back. So I went back a minute later after that when you were up in the attic, and I put it back to Otto. I said, you motherfucker.

Like a fucking toddler, dude. I said, what? He goes, yeah, because you were saying all that stupid shit about how it's It's supposed to be on and that there's separate systems. They're not. And I said, that's, it's not, and then I, you know, then I was like, all right, I'm at my limit now. It's obviously two fucking systems.

One controls a fucking compressor and one controls a fucking fan. Why would it work in the reverse? The fans either on or automatically on with the compressor. It should never be not on. It should never be, it would never not be on with the compressor's on. It's all fucking point of the van. And he says, I think I know how my own AC works. I said, you didn't know.

You said it took four hours to cool down your fucking house. You didn't know shit about this until I've did. I figured this out. I know about my... I think I know my own AC. I'm like, what the fuck are you talking about? You didn't even know the air wasn't coming out. I'm surprised you just get up and drive and keep driving until you ran out of gas.

Because, God damn. I think I know how my AC... God, God damn it. That's the single phrase, I don't. don't ever want to hear for you. You don't. You don't. Dude, I worked at a computer.

I went back in the attic to cool off. Had to drink up there. And I Googled, hey, is the fan button on the thermostat? Does that turn the AC on? And it's like, Google's like, fuck no. Like, yeah, I know. So I came down. I said, here, read this.

Read this shit. says no doesn't do that and he goes yeah that's what I said I said oh I debated even showing you this I said yeah you did say that you said the one turn

the fan turns the compressor on but it's not doesn't the temperature turns the compressor on you could hear it I could hear it I could hear it I could hear the neighbor's fucking compressor

I could hear their compressor trust me I can hear it turn on. He goes, that's what I said it did. My wife goes, no, you didn't, I recorded it. I said, what? She goes, yeah, you guys' fights are always so funny. I secretly recorded it.

80s girls just has their own secret podcast of shit to laugh at forever. Yeah, I'm like, what are you doing? Like, found footage? Like, little man. Shut up, little man. Shut up, little man. I can kill you from a seated position. I think I know my.

own AC like I'm so that is where I could understand like that guy bending his steering wheel into a football shape I'm like because yeah if someone told me that I didn't know well dude I worked at a computer shop to building circuit boards and stuff and we would get tech support calls randomly because they would just see computer shop and be like oh you guys help with yeah no yeah sometimes I'd get bored and needed the waste time like yeah sure whatever I'll help out it was never anything just like grandmas and shit.

The lady calling, she's like, my computer turned off and it's not turning back on. Oh. And I was like, okay, is there the little light on the front? She's like, no. And at this point, I'd been taking computers apart, building, that was like my day job at this point. So I go, like, is the little black cable in the back

like plugged all the way in? And she goes, I would think I would know if that was plugged in. I think I would know how my computer works. And then she keeps talking and asking more questions. And all of a sudden I hear it power on. And I go, oh, was that it? And she just hangs up. and I was like, you fucking...

I think I wouldn't know my own. Yeah, and it's that same kind of shit. Like, well, clearly it was, so get fucked. Your computer blows up. And I said, you know, Dad, I would behave exactly the same way, but in this instance, you were not correct. You're wrong. You're fucking wrong, dude.

Yeah. No, that's not how that. God damn AC guy. Call the fucking AC guy. As well the temperature in his room's fine. It dropped down to 70. I'm like, yeah, but our room is like fucking 90 degrees. It's 2 in the morning at this point.

Of course, it's fucking drop down 4 degrees. Ugh. I wake up and goes, hey, made breakfast for you. It's like, fucking a waffles, a stack of a mile high. I'm like, oh man, I just like, I'm so hot. I just don't want to eat these.

Oh. I'm so hot. Can't you fuckers get AC working in here? Dude, you're right about the breakfast shit, though, because it's like waffles, like pancakes, like cornbread pancakes, like full of fruit. And you're like, who the fuck is going to eat all this? Like fucking hot Italian sausage, regular breakfast on like eggs,

10 different ways. It's like, dude, you made like a hotel brunch? As a hotel brunch, yeah. This is like a, this is a, uh, Bloody Mary You've just Bloody Mary for breakfast Any other time is great

But in the fucking Dyer heat like that Today with my same clothes Fuck After arguing all night too After seething about it all night It's fucking hair Different kind of sweat then too

They can smell it Like a different kind of sweat When you jack off When you're seething When you're seething about your dad It's a totally It's similarly a different kind of sweat but I figured it out with science

okay don't fuck with my experiment man yeah but you had it wrong set on on I'm like I know I said I couldn't believe the fourth turn that's what

that's what I should have expected you can't do experiments at his house that's monitoring it with like a baseball bat just something and the baby's sleeping so it's like Don't do you Don't touch it

Don't do that shit What's the fucking done Do you watch any of the World Cup? No No Me either It's fucking sports Dude do you think I give a shit about any of that shit?

It's like French Africa playing Africa Africa playing Brazil Africans Wow It's Africa Cup I'm like man To sports people I get it's like a really exciting thing Yeah to me

I don't even care when my favorite artists go on world tours and I'm like, I just don't give a fuck. I haven't watched any of it either. It's not kind of commercials. Seems kind of funny, but... That's cool. You know what I saw, Dick?

What? I was out standing in the line out in the world in L.A.? Yeah. And I saw something I haven't seen in decades. Okay. I saw a homeless guy

fucking shaking at his pocket, his pant leg. Yeah. And a fucking couple cubes of charles of charcoal fallout. And I went, what's charcoal?

I was like, this fucking guy shit and fucking kicked it out of his pant leg. Like right here on the fucking street corner. I'm like, and this is like, this is Beverly Hills area. I'm like, are you fucking kidding me right now?

Like that's, talk about a fucking recession indicator. I'm like, man. Again, I haven't seen that in forever. Yeah. To catch that,

it was like, yeah, man. It was like a blessed, but cursed day. That's going to get a lot worse. I can't say the Supreme Court said that, uh,

if you're born here, you're a citizen, which I don't even, like it's obviously, it's obviously stupid. Even if the, even if the founding fathers had said, hey,

if you're born here, you're a citizen, we should obviously reverse that. That's like totally fucking retarded. It, the guy who made the 14th Amendment said, obviously this doesn't apply to, uh,

foreigners. nationals. It's so, it's every, every time the Constitution comes up, it's so frustrating because the Constitution is, is totally stupid. It gets worse every revision too. Yeah, it gets every time you put another woman on the Supreme Court, the Constitution is stupider. It's really this, it's really a remarkable document that any time a woman reads it, the document itself and everyone involved in writing it becomes dumber. Like, wow, really? That's what they wanted? Something, even a little bit fucking stupider than the last time one of you fucking one of you broads read it that's remarkable

um and what is and the mexican woman the fat mexican woman what does she think she agrees she agrees with what those what the guys and that the guy said that the go was his name's johns howard let me i wrote it down Jacob Howard said quote this will not of course include persons born in the united states who are foreigners aliens. Foreigners or aliens. Okay. Yeah, that seems like a good idea. Obviously, you don't

want. Because it's just for slaves. Just say that. Just say it's just for slaves. Just for H-1Bs. They were so stupid. They were stupid. The founders of America were stupid and they

wanted to be cute and use all their fancy words, like well-regulated. But I think I think what LLMs have taught me, because they're basically like the average, you know, person, what they've taught me is like... So it's useless.

Yes. Is that in order to... In order to get them... In order to get anything out of them, to make them non-useless, you have to scream at them and explain things in such detail that you might as well have done it yourself.

And that's what... that's what the Constitution people didn't understand. You know, they just say, it's like a one-off, like, oh, you know, but if you fed that to an LLM, it's going to go, oh, that could mean, that could mean anything. Like, all the we the people, the we the people, the top of the Constitution should be, hey, hey, you stupid fucking, hey, you stupid, retarded, fat idiot. It should start like that. Hey, moron. Hey, moron. Pay really, really close attention to this.

You probably already tuned it out because you're dumb. You're a dumb, illiterate piece of shit. By the way, we hope you didn't, we hope you don't, don't let any women read this, FYI. And I think we all know why. Dot, dot, dot. They just fucked it up so bad trying to make it like a fancy document. When women convinced us that they should be allowed to wear shoes and read and other things.

Shoes, I mean, the shoes are a big problem. That was where the snowball started, man. It started as just like a tiny little couple flake. of snow, right? That's no big deal. Sure. How did one shoes turn into ten? Right. This is a big problem. A whole house full of shoes. And I got a whole house full of shoes.

That's always been the problem with it. It's dumb. Every time it comes up, every time it comes up, it's embarrassingly stupid. We talk about the Constitution. Like, well, this is the meaning of well-regulated. Like, who gives a fuck? Do you think a bill from Schoolhouse Rock would see all this shit and be like, what the fuck is going all this?

is going on here. You're going to let who in? Holy shit, yeah. Millions of Chinese babies. I know, you know, I know somebody. My wife's nail lady. And it's always, this has always been weird, but she had a kid, and then the kid went back to China

and lived there for a year. They do that, yeah. Yeah, what is that? It's, I think it's a, like... Like, indoctrination shit? Why would they do that? Kind of, yeah. That's my guess. It's, it's... I know that it's wrong. It's so you get to dual citizenship, but then you're raised. You're raised as a communist.

You're raised with like allegiance to... Then you come back to China. And just start fucking taking over Vancouver and shit. Start China posting. It's unbelievable. Unbelievable that four women made the wrong call. Yeah. On something that's so obvious.

Really. Who to thunk it, man? And I know it's like pedantic and cute. I don't like I don't I don't I don't I don't I don't I don't even they weren't even appropriate 10 years ago and we were making him like oh yeah well if someone says when you know when you're defending like ideologies of a country and whatever because they're just pointless now but it's like so why like why is it matter then if they're like come out of the vagina here like shouldn't it if they're just like a phoenix isn't that a citizen then why is it matter like if they come out of the pussy that day what the hell does that? matter. It's like a, um, like a video game objective. As long as you get close enough, it's like, eh, that'll, well that much. But shouldn't it be? Like, we're talking about a, a human life and a country. We're not talking about a video game. Right. Well, that's what I'm saying. Yeah. It's, it's like video game rules are

applied to. Right. It's citizenship. It's totally assenine. Like, well, you were, I was, my fight was delayed, so my son wasn't born in America. Well, then guess what? He's not an American citizen. Like, that's retarded. That's, yeah. That's what you're saying is fucking retar. It's way more retarded. It's way more retarded than the trans in sports shit. Yeah. Way more retarded.

The being born here makes you a citizen is orders of magnitude more fucking stupid than letting guys play in women's sports. It's just... What if you jump in the air while it's being born? It's right, yeah. And it's still, like, it doesn't make sense from the conservative side either. you'd be airborne isn't the fucking fetus a life so why the

shouldn't it be conception like shouldn't you guys be arguing that part if anything they should be getting in a little passport yeah like of a penis yeah you can't be bringing

trafficking your kid all around this fucking place get him passport it's not freight you see people talk about it and they're like well you know yeah like China's really gonna send a

a million pregnant broads just to have babies like yeah are you are you kidding me they don't care about your life over there. That's the last thing they care about.

Communist dictatorship, yeah. What do you, yes. We're the others, dude. I mean, we're like, it's probably already, they probably put them up over the weekend. Indians running hospitals that just do birth tourism. Come here, we'll sneak you in the back, pop a kid out, or maybe, and then at that point, why even come here? Like, just print the document, print the tickets.

Yeah. India, Air India will scan you. your ticket, we'll fly an empty 737 to Texas, and then we'll fill out your birth certificate, and you don't have to leave Bombay. Like, let's make it as, let's make it as easy as possible. And then when I, when I, like, think about that scenario, it's quote unquote a scam, but I can't really identify how, like, oh, because you weren't, because you didn't hit the hit box here. Like, what's the difference? It's a political scam, right? Because then you have all these people you could be like oh well there now they can vote they can do all this shit you're about to

have this whole wave yeah of fucking yeah people that you know hey like it's like they get to get all those benefits and shit like yeah we're there's gonna be a title wave of getting fucked in the ass i just don't see the difference between well i meant to have i meant to have my kid in the america versus having them here if it's just a fucking if it's if it's 10,000 dollars in a plane flight then what's the fucking difference there is none There's none, yeah. There's none. I meant to vote on voting day, so I'm voting like a week later.

Like, it's the same, it's the same shit. It's over. It's fucking over, man. It's fucking over. We're going to need, Nick Fuentes is going to need to find some real, real nasty guys. I guess it's been like this through all history. I only know the one, I only know the one example of fascism versus socialism. There's got to be more, probably more.

but I don't know. I'm too busy. Just started thinking about air conditionings. Clip of Ediamine playing accordion. You've ever seen that clip? No. He's playing accordion like pretty shittily, but it's like you have the whole band playing behind him

and they look like if they fuck up a note, they're going to die. This guy makes a face like to be funny. Like we're at dinner. He goes, oh, he makes like, You gotta give him little glasses that he could put sideways and start hitting his hand on his chest. That'll really kill him at dinner.

Hey, buddy. How you doing? Hi. He knows how to wave now. He's good at it. He loves hot. Any hot waitress comes over? Always like, whoa, what's going on?

What's going on with you? So straight. Yeah. He knows what's up, dude. You got a straight white kid. Straight white kid. you're in for a world of her, buddy. I know how to break this to you.

Yeah, here we were worried about you being a minority and here it came true. It came true. Somebody quoted Jesus about, oh, the Pope. Let me get the Pope. The Pope posted a video of him picking his ass to get back at Trump talking about

what the fuck the Pope's deal. We should just nuke the Vatican. Fuck them. Take it over. I want to excavate the Vatican. I want to see what it's all underneath that shit. Dig that shit out. Bring it back to America.

Man, I watched Italian job as a kid, and I was like, I know that there's a lot of crazy shit in there. I really, and really I'm starting to hate, hate this Pope. Look at this shit. Pope digging into your butt twin? The Trump administration wanted Pope Leo the 14th to visit the United States for our 250th anniversary. Instead, he visited the Italian migrant island of Lampedusa. Well, that's what we were bringing in all those migrants. lifted up the plight of those who undertake a dangerous journey to new lands in search of a better

future. Hang on, is the Pope about to shake a turd out of his fucking robes here? Dude, it looks like it. Holy shit. Is there music? So the Pope is like emo posting, like staring off into the sea at this weird battle cruiser. I don't know why that. The Crying Indian all over again.

The Pope's trying to do a crying Indian thing. What a dickhead. And he's from Chicago, too, so all of this seems so fake and gay. Yeah. Like, you know, it's fine when you're like a third world pope and they do shit like this. You're like, well, you know, he didn't have the internet. Yeah, you think of the pope as someone who's never taken the train or eaten a million Italian beefs before, but I guess... Yeah, but this guy did.

Yeah. He like went to Weissauks games. Shit. I guess if you are what you eat, he became that Italian beef, man. Look at this shit. Fucking... What his ass? Carnival fucking facade right there.

What the fuck? He's got a bunch of photographers running around him. Robs flowing up into his ass, walking on these rocks. A little old to be taking Christian rock album photos, isn't that? I love the old film quality to it.

Why do they have this? Why do they leave the winter? I mean, look at this. This is ridiculous. This robes going up his ass? Those robes are supposed to imbue like a sense of grandeur and, like, spirituality like you're floating. And now we just see

some old man with robes blowing up his ass with wearing a pair of black kids. Trying to suck immigrant dick. Just disgusting. Newcomb. Makes me fucking sick, man. Wipe the Vatican, fucking wipe him out. Who's running on this stuff, man? I need a

candidate who represents me. Turns out Duke Newcomb was a command and not a name. Who's taking his stupid little hat off? Who's he waving to? Oh, hi.

Hi, immigrants. Did any of you rape any babies? Whatever. Humdy-dum. It's also disappointing, man. Yeah, it is. Let's see.

Here's another one. Mm-hmm. But but, but-pup, but-pah. Here's one of the socialists that are elected now. A speech in mid-May, obviously before your victory, about the basics of your ideology.

I want to dig into it a little bit with you. You said every single issue that I looked at where we thought there was a problem that was persisting, we already figured out the solution a long time ago. You solve homelessness by giving people housing. You solve hunger by giving people food. You solve health care by going to a single-payer system. Now, I'll just tell you my bias here. I grew up in Canada where, like every other developed country, has universal health care.

But tell me about this, because there are some who would paint you and other DSA members as radicals. You're trying to make the argument that this is common sense. It is common sense, right? If you look at the data, if you look at the research, it is cheaper to house someone than to leave them homeless. It is cheaper to heal someone and give them treatment that it is to let them get sick and to deal with getting the last minute, you know, excruciating treatment at the very end of their sickness. It is cheaper to give our kids the highest quality education and give them the opportunity to thrive with the best opportunities in their futures. All of these things not only pay for themselves, not only are pragmatic and economic, you know, it's just also the right thing to do, right?

The right thing to do. Got to lump that in there, too. If you're not doing this, that means you're doing the wrong thing. We got to give them... We got to give them houses. You know how you fix homelessness? Give them houses. Yeah.

Totally, all the examples of, you know, having Skid Row people stay in Section 8, hotels and shit, and having them absolutely destroy the rooms. Totally works every time. You know them little tents. That works, too. Give them little tents. Watch them fill it with 72-inch fucking TVs being on Skype all day. How do you solve stupidity, education?

Has that work? Has that been working? Yeah. Why is your country so fucking vastly underdeveloped? Yeah. If it's just that easy, fucking, if it's cheaper to do that, then how come your country is all homeless? Yeah.

Wouldn't it be more fiscally responsible to give them the best education? It's like, oh, wait, you can't fix people. Yeah, they're fucked. People, yeah. Fucked. Got too many people who are fucked. That's the problem. We should ask the people making houses

How can we give these guys a bunch of Or the people making food How can we get everyone food? You guys know, you make food, right? You know what? Move them all out to Bakersfield. Go colonize fucking Bakersfield. Ask the doctors. I don't ever hear any doctors saying,

You know what we need? More patients. I never hear that. I just hear we need more doctors. Yeah. I don't ever hear from the doctors going, you know what, you know what would fix things if I had more work. I never have heard that one.

I've heard a lot of doctors say, man, I'm getting a lot of fentanyl addicts in here, and they're totally unfixable. Their problems get worse and worse and worse, and they're just a drain constantly. But I never hear one say, God, I just, one thing we need is more patients. I need more people. I read this week that Haitians go to the,

doctor when they're feeling good, they think, like, medicine makes you stronger. Which I believe. I completely believe that. So that dropping them off someplace, like, it just instantly exhausts the medical resources because they're like, well, I'm feeling great. I'm going to go go get some power. I'm going to go power up at the doctor. Dude, I'm going to need more ipiprofen about it.

It's like, dog, your blood's so thin. If you get a paper cut, you're bleeding. out. Okay, here we go with some comments. Silver bullet says a vasectomy is a psychosexual has a psychosexual component.

Many women want their man sterilized because they're done having kids with him and they feel better sterilizing him. I guess this is for me. This is a warning. It represents a physical and metaphysical end to his

reproductive phase. I don't know. I think I could probably still poison a lot of minds. Metaphysically. Yeah, but... I get in there. Pretty good. I give people short, snappy solutions for big, complicated problems. Talking about this metaphysical shit, like, dog, you can't just fucking be like, damn, I don't want kids anymore and move on with your life. Am I metaphysically waking up at 2.30 in the morning? It's metaphysics that keep me going back to the fridge for another beer, man.

my man gave a presentation at a time conference this week and it's killing me that I didn't get to see it but he just stand there and waste everyone's time I'm sure they would have a snappy rejoinder for that a bunch of like physicists and philosophers giving each other presentations about the nature of time it's like oh man this is incredible

and then I thought it was gay but then he told me about his presentation And I'm like, fuck, that sounds awesome. Shit. That just sounds like a fucking, like, one of those things where, like, you lose for participating at all. Like, oh, well, you showed up to a presentation about your time and got your time wasted. You know, eventually something is cool. It's not, though, because, dude, the thing, the thing is the further, right, the human, the human path is to seek the truth, right? But then you find it and you go, well, they couldn't be that.

And then you fucking invent something. And it's just like, it's just, regardless of what the truth is. I think they're aware of that. They just need to like, but I need to invent this thing to make me feel better because it couldn't be that simple. Yeah. We couldn't just exist and then die. It's like, well, no, there's like quantum shit.

There's string theory. And it's like, yeah, that's true. It's like, but what, by you knowing that, do you drink any less? Do you go, do you live your life any differently? Probably more. but it is a good way to, it's a very effective way at easily communicating to people

that your opinion is better than theirs. That is the... That's a good way of doing it. Instead of just being loud and saying crude remarks, saying like, no, I understand that should set you above everyone that doesn't.

He's like, no, no, no, I understand that complicated system. These people don't. Don't listen to them. They don't understand. They don't understand at things at that level. I think we're missing that. Well, so, well, that's what always gets me hung up on like Sam Harrison shit.

He doesn't understand it. Well, because he's like, well, we actually measured it. And it turns out the impulses that fucking turn into thoughts. You can't even control where that comes from. I'm like, okay. Yeah. So you have distilled all of your knowledge down to you don't, you can't control anything you're doing. Yet you continue to research this and be a complete sanctimonious cock sucker about.

Yeah, you use it for evil. You just use it to fucking waste everyone's time to do more research. It's like, well, you've found the truth as far as you could possibly find it. He used it to empower people. Yeah. To pretend to understand complicated systems, but they don't. That's been a really huge problem this century. Yeah.

Well, and people still don't believe it even after the show them that here's the most definite thing. It's like, yeah, but that's not my worldview. And it's like, well, then why are we wasting our time talking about this shit? I fucking love science people really wrecked the thing. I mean, even this dumb, even the stupid socialist is like the studies say it's cheaper. No, it's obviously not. It's obviously fucking, it's not even the point. The whole world should be homeless.

And it's obvious that you don't understand complicated systems if you're saying that and you're telling people, you're like co-opting. She doesn't even understand basic systems. Yeah. It's cheaper. No. It's not cheaper. Un-fucking real. It's not cheaper to give homeless people housing.

I just tell you that much. Right, right. No. It's like the broken window fallacy, except you create more cleanup crew jobs. Yeah. Yeah. His time talk sounds interesting, though.

It was like... I get so lost when it comes to all that shit, man. Because I'm like... You smoking too much weed. No, dude, because it goes like this. Like, we're recording audio right now at 48,000 samples, right? Per second. That's pretty high fucking resolution.

Dude, there's people who argue about, yeah, but there's like things that happen in between the bits and in between the samples that you're capturing. And it's like, yeah. Like, at what point will anything be fucking good enough? Like, if you can't tell what the fucking song is at this point, like, I don't know, man. It represents a physical and metaphysical end to his reproductive phase. She has used it and she's making sure no other women can use it. There's a component of female intracual competition

to the vasectomy. I mean, how old are you, bud? You should have led with that. There's this is also... This guy, lady, right now? Like...

This is also why some men report their wife's libido dropping to absolute zero. After their vasectomy. It sounds like it was that before. That's my primary concern. Keeping things spicy in the bedroom. That's, man.

Of all the things that I got to worry about, who! Top, top 10. That's to show. I'm a, that means I'm a real man because my biggest, because my big concern in life is a fucking

Cosmo cover, you idiot. She thinks, she thinks she wants him declared sterile and have no use to other women. However, after this happens, it turns out a large part of her attraction to him was the idea that

other women might desire him for reproduction. Bro, I mean, if you, if you are worrying about like women's attraction to you, past your 20s, you have you have fucked up. You are,

you gotta fix something in your head. You learn all the wrong magic words there. Once you start knowing words like that, it's like, yeah. See your sexual marketplace like,

do, do, do, do, take that back to college. Don't bring that shit. Don't bring that shit around. This is a guy watching too many YouTube videos. Not going, getting some sun.

He links to it. Now that he's sterile, the danger is gone. The feelings are gone. Her libido is also sterilized. Who fuck? Who gives a fuck? My wife's something? I don't give a fuck.

Yeah, that gives me more time to go in the garage and fucking solder up some trains, bitch. It's 90 degrees of my parents' house. She's rolling over and get the fuck off of me. Yeah, bitch, trying to drink another. I'm trying to slam another brew. Get the fuck out of my face. Antoine says, you might want to look into the Peter Stokes' arrest for show content. The short of it is that if you do illegal shit on windows, the feds know about it, really?

They got back doors. You don't say. Man. I never could have guessed that from Windows. That's crazy. I'm trying to find your link, Antoids. Okay. Peter Stokes,

scattered spider guy arrested. Microsoft, I hate when they do this shit and it does not done well, this green text shit. Yeah. Microsoft tracks Stokes from GDID. Microsoft Global Device Identifier.

Okay. Stokes, he's just winning. Windows. GDID assigned to each OS install. GDID unique to each device. GDI yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. GDID reported internet activity. Oh, GDID showed Stokes using NGROC, his IP address, shows web activity. Wow! showed the timestamps of web activity. GDID mapped with video game activity. shows the games played GDID undocumented So India has the entire

Web browsing history of everyone Using Windows You're no longer using an OS install You're using like a terminal Yeah That's fucked Azure UCDO status

Azure Azure monitor logging GDID only mentioned in one MSNDN document It makes sense it makes sense because I mean it makes sense like it makes sense that they would do that just thinking it was a

helpful idea like they have so many they have so many retarded people working on software that's that's just too big for anybody to monitor effectively monitor it makes sense that someone would just add that thinking there and then a bunch of department go like yeah yeah that's good

of course obviously we want to track everything the users do. I wish God would talk to another programmer out there and get us another temple OS. Yeah. Oh, they're calling it the Goyem device. It was developed, no, fuck off. This cannot be true.

It was developed at Microsoft's R&D Center in Herzia, Hezaya Israel by former Unit 8200 and Tal Pilot program alumni. Yeah, okay, I guess.

I believe it. So Israel's spying on the whole world. All right, well, thank God our military and is linked with theirs. Maybe I should convert. Maybe that's the way out of this. Is it? Although that the fascism, socialism didn't go very well for them last time. It's just all.

Long-term thinking, though, I guess it did. But short-term. and we're in the short-term era right now. I'll stay on the Mexican side. I think the Mexican side will do all right in the race war. Oh, yeah, dude. Fucking... I got a good feeling about the Mexican side.

They still got pyramid standing, you know? That's right. How would you like a pyramid right on top of L.A.? Boom. You know, if we made like all of L.A. into, like, Chechenica, we'd fucking... How would you like... a lazy river all through downtown red bull tweetybird airbrush tweety bird airbrushed tweety bird with a bad

attitude uh they can't drive they can't park and they uh go to the doctor too much that's why all this shit about a walkable city keeps coming up for mexicans because you can't drive bitch they have a pretty clear racial identity though i think Mexicans do one of my favorite things is driving anywhere through like K-town and you see all the buildings that you're like this has 30 businesses in it and yet all of them are struggling. Yeah. This is fun. And then you see out front someone sets up little fucking like Mexicans.

Mexicans. Set up like a little taco car and ruin the whole building. Dude, it's just like, holy shit. You're fucking up the whole system, man. Fucking everything up. The curry shop on the bottom's getting no sales. So the acupuncture store above it's getting no sales. No, the nail plays.

The fucking the cheap 99 cent store and you're like, where the fuck is all this lead-based shit coming from? That's the futures. Just Mexicans popping up tent shops in front of everything. Data centers, dude. That'll be a little Mexican dude in a cart pulling up a data center. Right in front of the data center. Remember when they call them roach coaches and now they're like, we've elevated them to food trucks? Yeah, because the cartel got involved.

That's why they got a bunch of free ones from the government. Man, because I remember you'd see a roach coach. and be like, yeah, I'm not eating at that shit. And now people are like, I've got to line up for two hours. Yeah, yeah. They got privatized. Private cartel equity. Damn it.

Well, that's interesting, Antoids. Thanks for bringing that up. Jervis says the based comedy award. New Jersey Middle School yearbook recalled after a Hitler photo published among student baby pics. Okay. They recalled it because of this? it's still a baby Hitler, right?

Yeah, I mean, it's not obvious, that's Hitler. It's weird that it was black and white and they let that through. No one thought to fucking... Who's looking at baby picks? New Jersey Middle School? Yeah. Okay.

How many people gave speeches about how wrong it is to put a baby picture of Hitler in? Endless. They're still going on. Still doing it. Put that in the yearbook. Give everyone a little sticker

that they can put on the yearbook. book apologizing. They should just print out, send out stickers of a baby Obama that you can put on the Hitler. That would be pretty good. Yeah.

I remember one year in high school, you know, you get your student ID, but on the back, they always have like a support phone number. Mm-hmm. And it was a phone number to a sex hotline.

Everyone was like, no fucking way. So the whole school's all calling in the school, put out a whole thing. Like, everybody turn in your IDs. Like,

you're going to get in a shit ton of trouble if you keep your old one, like we printed a wrong like how did that happen I don't know it was just like an old school number like but it got picked up and fucking when they

thought it was the same shit it really wasn't a middle school in the upstate New Jersey suburb has started taking back yearbooks after it discovered a photo of Adolf Hitler in the student baby photo section earlier today after students had already received their yearbooks

so you take them back when they're all signed what the hell They just want to see what all the weird shit kids wrote to each other in it. Yeah, I don't think you can do that. We learned that the baby pictures section of the yearbook contained an image that was later identified as an infant photograph of Adolf Hitler. Ryan Appletree, principal of the school said. And then they have a big picture of adult Hitler.

Why did they show that then? Like, if a baby picture of him is so bad. Yeah, why put this picture in the news? Well, here's him in full regalia. Here's actual Hitler. Here's fully evolved Hitler. This is what they're making you think of by looking at this baby picture.

Like anyone would have fucking known. We immediately collected the yearbook so the image would not remain in circulation. Did these cocksuckers take yearbooks out of kids' hands? Man, the letter assures the school community, noting that they were assisting local law enforcement with an investigation. Of what?

You know, the yearbook, this thing, you know, we sit and read and learn from and extract all this great info from like, dude, I haven't thought about my yearbooks until since you get home that day. You're like, oh, I got everyone to sign it. Cool. That was nice. Well, and it's like, yeah, it's been all these years.

I'm like, oh, shit, I forgot I had those. I want to be direct with you. The presence of this image is unacceptable. Oh, fuck off. God. Man, what was this guy's name? What was his last name? Alpertree?

These guys are, they're like beaten dogs when it comes to Nazis and Hitler shit. Like, you know, flinching at any, at a baby picture of Hitler. Ah! Ah! Same people saying they'd go back in time to kill a baby, dude. They're fucking, they're fucking terrified. There's that baby that can't kill. Yeah.

Even if the image was not immediately recognizable to those paging through the book, its inclusion in an official school publication is a severe breach of our values. Shouldn't they be like, well, how did you know that was, like, aren't they, that seems like a fucking, they're just trying to bait a bunch of people and the fucking, yeah. Adolf Hitler, oh, here comes the fucking great,

here comes the speech. Everybody gets, this is the Oscar acceptance speech of our age. How bad Hitler was. Adolf Hitler represents hatred, anti-Semitism and the horrors of the Holocaust including the murder of 6 million Jews

Yeah but have you seen that picture of him laughing at the newspaper with the captioned fucking Garfield though I mean that's like If you can't laugh at that Like that's kind of you know An image of him has no place In a yearbook created for our students

Yeah that's why it's funny It does not reflect who we are What Eastbrook stands for And we condemn its inclusion Without reservation Who did this? Who's this? This kid should get a reward for being so funny.

Look at this big reaction. God damn. Yeah, like when you're in high school and shit, you think like, whoa, like, you know, a permanent record. Like, all this. I got to get good grades. Never once, when you graduate, people were like, you're from high school. Like, even if you were the best high schooler in history. Yeah.

They're like, here's some fucking retarded kid and you suck. then you're just going to sit on your phone the whole time like get the fuck out of you're like there's no you know there's nothing life changing or that important about it I guess you can start working instead of getting your time wasted by other people at least you can make money for your time

you think they could like sneak other Hitler stuff in now with AI well so that's what's going to prompt now too like you know oh let's fucking like if you like how you can tell an AI to like put a QR code in an image and it'll kind of tweak it around so you can't

it's not obvious at first. Right. I guess it's obvious but still kind of looks real. It's enough to get past people that are just skimming it. That'd be funny. Thank you for your The principal said the school was working to get an amended yearbook out as quickly as possible and we'll keep the community

informed about how it decides to deal with confiscated yearbooks. So they're going to have a yearbook burning or something? That were already signed by teachers and other pupils, yeah. So they took people's fucking yearbook. books that were already signed. Instead of just ripping the page out, you gotta take the whole book and burn it?

Are they making the kids repay for them all and shit? That's shit's expensive. Someone's eating that cost. It's like 200 bucks, 300 bucks. Israel's not coming to foot the bill. I'll guarantee you that. Prices rolled down to you. They're knocking on the synagogue.

Hey, uh, you guys, uh, we collected all this hate. We're gonna burn it for you guys. Can you, uh, And they're like, oh, awesome. Can you help us give the books back to the game, slam, closed? I don't know if they have doors at a synagogue or what, but whatever they... Something slams.

Did the kids have to sneak them out? Like Auschwitz sneaking out the books? We got to get these books out. Before these teachers confiscate our books and burn them. It was not immediately clear whether a student was responsible for the photos inclusion of the yearbook or how it was discovered to be an image of Hitler and as an infant. Well, you know, it's obviously not a student. It's a fucking goofball black and white picture.

There have been several instances where a student or former student snuck up. Hitler references to a yearbook. This is fucking usual. There is no point to the, by admitting that, that means there is no point to this fucking article. Why? What a waste of fucking.

We got to just like exhaust, man, we got to just exhaust administrators. And from one, they got to be, they could be kept in a permanent state of total exhaustion with just one Hitler joke after, you know, boom, boom. And they're just like apologizing for, and the apology has to get bigger and bigger. We're going to do this again. This doesn't represent our values. This doesn't represent our values, right? Over and over. like in cars when all the dead bodies are popping up

and dirty work and all the dead horrors are popping up like, oh, Nazi stuff, oh, Nazi stuff, they'll blow their fucking minds. God, man. It's like the hippies, all the old squares, you know, the hippies were like, we're doing drugs, they're like, oh, the hippies are everywhere, right, except it's the opposite.

Now it's all the old, dumb baby boomers like, oh, that's a Nazi thing, ah, it's a Nazi thing over there. someone's going to do something about this. Man. My values. My values! No! It's like, dude, we already know you're being underpaid, and this is why. Because you all act like this.

You are a totally worthless doofus. Every one of these kind of incidents should lower everyone's pay grade. Yeah. Be like, you know what? Because of the anti-Semitism, we can't have this. Oh, right, yeah. We can't have this. Terry Jerry says

Hey Dick look at Elliot Page's new moves Okay Elliot Page This is the actor Whoa Man Am I allowed to show this Topless man here

Wow Whoa that's fierce bro Man that's what makes man Fucking boxing And then he had two cigars after this He talked about We'll see

what's up bros Elliot I'm here to box He's he on a Man See Look at this dude He's fierce man Boxing pool noodles

I want to see Elliot Page box that fat Filipino guy With the two sticks Ah If a guy If a guy did this It would be Like try hard

Right You know You get me I don't know. Still need that attention, man. Very masculine. Tiger can't change his fucking stripes, man. Kind of get some attention. Look at how buff.

Look how tough I am. It's like a manly man. Now go out and start beating up fed addicts, and I'll be like, this is... Show me the racist group chats that you're in. Then we'll see who's a man. Yeah. Then we'll see who's a man here, Elliot. Okay.

Great. Seth Rogen something Djibouti Indian birth Tourism Okay yeah so let's see Indian birth tourism Something I wish I was making this up

The hospital advertising birth packages For foreigners is Mission Regional Owned by Prime Healthcare Prime Healthcare was founded by an Indian The entire executive team is Indian Non-Americans advertising they will pay other non-Americans to come over and give birth in America Yeah

There you go Mm-hmm Indian That's who I want Delivering me Sunni Bataji President and Oh beautiful

Absolutely beautiful Looks like a husband and wife duo Hmm Oh are they Cavita Bahadya Yeah sunny Bahadya Beautiful It's fucking beautiful

It begins It begins Here's the book Fucking billboards Birth packages in South Texas Natural Birth $4,000 C-section

5,000. Have My Baby in Texas.com. Get the fuck out of here. Man, fuck, Texas are such fucking pussies. Have my baby in Texas.com.

Receive at your baby in El Sur de Tejas, bro. Packetes de departo. Contactonionis. Nuestros Hospitals. Fuck you.

Does it work if you type in other states too? Visititas 24-7 de Amos Padres. Oh, that's nice. You can visit your own kid. Why is this little baby have hair on their knuckles? Eligimos at the Hospital de Mission

for the L'Igada of Our Second Hija. It was the best decision they ever made. Where's it talking about citizenship? Do you have any any preguontas? Will my space keys broken, baby, I can't type it.

I got no space. All right. That's awesome. Thanks very much. Oh, Johnny Rico. One more. Johnny Rico says, Horrifying footage has emerged from a teen takeover

in North Charleston, South Carolina. It appears a white female police officer was severely beaten by a mob of black teens. including what appears to be a Roman candle. Wow. Throw the Roman candle and it kind of turns it funny again. Jeez, they are slinging that girl around. Wow.

Oh, man. What did you? They're shooting up. Okay, a man shows up and just starts blasting the black kids with a taser. God, that must be so. so stressful being a male cop with a bunch of women cops around yeah then the male cops are coming in

and dispensing justice dude they are they are walloping this poor woman wow wham dragging her around through the dirt whoa do you see this cop flying in from the side and dropping this black girl watch her hair I think her wig pops off

look at this watch see she's Now this black girl's on top of the white girl, the white cop, swinging a, looks like maybe a Roman candle at her, swinging it at her. And then this cop's going to come in flying from the left. Bam! American gladiators style. Boom! Speaking of cop cam, we got a wheat watchers coming up very soon.

Coming up very soon. Next week, I think. I will send society. Yeah, I'll make sure. hidden envelopes get dispensed accordingly. Yes. Let's make sure to let's make sure we invite everyone this time to last time we had some issues. All right everybody. Patreon.com slash the Dick Show. Thank you very much. Do some voicemails. Happy, happy. Happy. Check your ID.

Soon you'll just need one voicemail account. God willing. Inshah, man Inshala. Do you do do do Do you

Oh I think a lot of them are going to be about biggest problem Oh no That's a lot That's a lot of

voicemails I You know I tried to I tried to let it go on I just I just don't have time I'm too fucking tired

And and honestly Um Honestly The The sacrifice I think would be tolerable if the show was good, but it's just not, it's not any good. And it never will be again. So it's just time. I want, I want my time back. I need more time. Okay. That's a time speech

I can get behind. I need more fucking time, do you see? I agree with that. Yeah. So they're telling me about like time is some entanglement. Fucking more unentangler's on the table, bitch. That's I need unentanglement. Yeah. Not entanglement theory. I need unentanglement theory. I paid how much for this fucking speech to tell us some retardate? I've heard crackheads muse on the same kind of shit and come to the same conclusions.

Why the fuck do I need people? Now I think educated people are retarded because I'm like, wait, I've heard this before. I have absolutely heard this conversation. Did I get duped into thinking that it was good? I paid for this. I'm supposed to be getting paid to hear this. Not fucking. Fuck.

Well, it sounded interesting. It always sounds interesting. And then you realize I'm not talking about fucking anything. All right. Here we go. Dude, just listening to the last biggest problem. Vito is so fucking unwell and full of himself. I look this up to make sure it's accurate and it is 100% accurate.

In the time that Vito started his campaign, I went, I started law school. I did three years of law school. I finished law school and now I am a lawyer and Vito hasn't put out a single 50-page fucking comic book

I could doodle a fucking comic book before the end of the month go fuck yourself Every single time somebody tells me what they've done since Vito announced Superkiller and now and it's still not out

it's funny guys had two kids since it was announced went through law school since it was announced, built a house, like they've done, went to prison, got out of prison, like the amount, the amount that people have done in the time that it's taken and it's still not complete, veto to make one crappy comic book. The part that was the most disheartening out of that whole charade. Yeah.

Holding up the uncolored one. Like here it is right here. guys. I'm like, oh, get that kid coloring kids man,

you out of my fucks? That's not the comic though. Is it a word searching there too and then

prices somewhere else fucking get that shit out of my face, bitch. Uh, I dropped in the

discord and you know, I get a bunch of pings. Like this is happening, this is happening. It's like

Vito arguing with Riley for six hours again. Like, oh my God. What's there left to argue about,

dude? Like, you destroyed your credibility. I don't know. I was hoping it would be I was actually worried that Vito would instantly take the 25% deal because it's like a it's a total gift

It's like a free free show Vito doesn't even have to lose any money He could just give Billy 25% That's what I'm like again And it's instant It's already running instant Guy Mr. Business over here Doesn't know the first thing about fucking business man

So I thought it would be like a big anti-climact because I thought oh he's just going to say yes maybe I should you know make it more complicated but not only did he say no then he just started bragging about how he's got a new show called the come off or something or

and that's going to be even better cum dusters he's like well I don't need no I don't want a financial relationship with you and besides I can just do better I'm like wow okay I don't know why I thought I don't know why I thought this wouldn't be funny dude he could have taken it and then like franchised local chat

Like he could have done a lot of really funny things with it I mean he's always talking about how I In removing him from the YouTube I I killed the show Because he can't do his thumbnails and like make playlists and stuff So it's out well okay That's the reason you guys can't make fun of people anymore right Just do make all the thumbnails and playlist then

Like you can have have it just you know give me a 25% It's a free show I'll have 100% of nothing thanks. I didn't want to say that but because maybe he can't go make a new show and have you seen his other shows that? Yeah I it's hard

it's hard to make a show and drive people toward it and ask them to support it it's hard you know what it is dude this next microwave I fix that's going to be the one that's going to be the one I dismayed this next microwave I

dismantle a.k.a. fix in my mind right? That's going to be the thing that gets me I'm going to make $100 on this microwave. Then I can fix that microwave then I can get myself my all my stuff. Just end up with a whole house full of broken microwaves man.

Yeah. Hey Dick. Hey Johnny. Hey buddy. Yeah. Courage for you today. Finding a shirt that you haven't worn in months. I've literally torn my fucking apartment trying to look for this fucking shirt. Also misplaced fucking glasses.

It always happens when I'm drinking. Go fuck yourself. I found all my shorts. Apparently I had a shorts drawer that my wife's been putting all my shorts in. I've been using the same pair of shorts that goes on the top that was like in an overflow spot. And I opened the drawer, I was like,

what the fuck, it's all my shorts? I've been looking for these shorts for a year. All these dope shorts, yeah, what the fuck? I call in a lot of coffee problems, but I don't know what's going on in 2026 where you can use the app to order something ahead of time, like 10 or 15 minutes ahead of the fucking time that you're going to be there. And you go in and you still, they are like, why are you here? They're like, oh, hey, what's up?

And it's like, order for Bob Johnson. And they're like, nah, you didn't order that here. It's like, yeah, I did. And you got to show them the app. And then they're like, oh, Bob Johnson. Johnson. Yeah, it's right here. I mean, pull it out of like a corner.

It was already made. It's insane. It doesn't fit in their brains. Man, you know what? This guy does call in with a lot of coffee problems, but every single one of them, like, you know what? I hate that shit, too. This is the guy who gets coffee every morning and is just like,

he wants a day to start correctly. Yeah. And it just never does. And I get it. Yeah. Hey, Dick. Hey, Johnny. Coach Jake here.

I'm sitting here thinking and drinking on this 4th of July, and I can't stop thinking about what is genuinely one of the saddest things I've ever witnessed or not to know of, which is just simply put, the death of American. Of America? What? I was absolutely blessed being born about an hour south of Seattle, like right in the heart of Boeing land, where the very last American industry. American industry is saying. Okay. Because of this,

I got the privilege of being able to actually work for a living, for a very good living. as I've gotten older and traveled the country, I've been able to see the decaying remains of places that once were hubs of industry straight and have died. There, seriously, is nothing more soul-crushing to me than the times have been Ohio, Pennsylvania, West Virginia,

even Michigan, I know you know, seeing these just dying cities filled with the remnants of what was once the heart of what made us great these once thriving hubs

of the industry drank the wrong potions oh shit morning the death of industry what is the fucking ghost of fucking Carnegie

fucking show up Dale Carnegie showed up Detroit is going to be a shit hole Was the center of the world Western Electric was in Chicago And now it's gone I don't know God bless the USA

Right Yeah I don't know how we're going to get out of it Probably gonna have to Government's probably going to have to buy a lot lot of, a lot of companies because the stock market is, well,

all we are anymore is the stock market. There's no, Social Security is going to have to go or be dependent on the stock market. The Trump accounts for kids is a good start. The government's going to have to buy it as a form of nationalizing it. Like all the AI companies,

government will probably have to buy because we're supporting them anyway. So Bernie's right. Like, there's no, it's kind of insane that they're, that they're not nationalized already. They're just, using our stuff.

Like wire, right even allowed to exist outside of paying a punishing tax to the government. I say we get rid

of semiconductors, dude. Silicon chips or the devil? Undo. Give me raw copper and fucking tubes. None of this fucking microprocessor shit.

It's going to be a problem, though. The freeloaders from Latin America are not going to get along with the freeloaders from Africa. There's a big, it's going to

be a big problem and white people are going to be right in the middle of it. So I think it'll be fun. At that point, I'll be like, I better see Mexicans using leaf blowers. Yeah, they're going to be outside the mosque. They're going to turn, they're going to have a leaf blower size of a Saturn 5 rocket. Mexican scientists are going to be charging up the fucking Saturn 5 leaf blower outside of an Islamic caliphate in Albania, New York. A blue team speaker so big, it could split the earth and half. Yeah. That's what it's going to be.

These groups don't play nice together. Yeah. Let's see what happens. So today I was eating at my coffee table while sitting on the floor watching TV. And I just happened to be butt naked today while doing that. Okay. I was eating one-d Coffee cup in his ass. double burger french toast sticks fries and suddenly i let out a fart but like the fart had nowhere to go

because my butt was pressed against the four right happens yeah yeah so i kind of like moved my butt a bit and pressed harder and i let out this slow diabolical fart that just i tuned it to reverberate the hardwood floor kind of like the read of like a woodwind instrument you know just because I was like butt naked and like I have I just right. We got it. We got it. We got it. I got it.

I got it. I hit the resonance of the floor. Yeah. Yeah. And I was just thinking. My downstairs neighbors must be horrified. Like it must sound like the entire ceiling is farting. The whole ceiling is farting.

Holy shit. Wow. Or it must sound like someone has their butthole pressed against the floor. It is like farting loudly. which, to be fair, that's exactly what happened. It's interesting. It's, you know, it could be either one. It's nice to know that we have some construction workers who call in from time to do.

Maybe the neighbor will call in. We'll get to the bottom of this. What did you think happened here, ma'am? Send out an investigator. Okay, oh, shit, shit, shit. Johnny's brain. Oh, right. So, Dick, we're old, man.

I called this one, an updated eye floatergraphing. Graphics, man, I can't even talk to that. I've not had enough Red Bull, but, man, you ever get those shit in your eye where you're looking around? And it kind of just like fucking... Yeah, yeah, of course. You know, sign of early death, all that shit. Yeah. But look at this shit, man.

Someone just decided to, like, make a video showing how, like, all the... Everywhere they look, they see their... Black women? ...andest of their ancestors, right? Oh. But to me, I'm like, God damn, if I got floaters like this, I would jump to the bottom of the river. Yeah. It's all the hidden figures

These are their black girl magic Ancestors They're all flying around That's what I'm saying Like if I He's dodging him like the Matrix If I was trying to drive around And that's all I saw

Straight into the median I saw that one That one Congresswoman That's like always pretending To be like ghetto Yeah She said something today She said something today's like black women invented

This black women this This is that Yeah this I thought was a pretty good one. I was like, damn. What else is she making? She's got Maya, man. She's cranking Maya for black empowerment.

Chicago, okay. Yeah, Chicago fucking... There's a bean. She got the bean. She's got a bunch of spheres, silver spheres. It's beautiful. Okay. Incredible.

Just absolute art. I want to see that fucking Maya shit around. Right. So here's a... Get 2D black women in the phantom zone flying at me. That's what I'm talking about. So this is, Anne Frank is back. Okay.

Here's another way Anne Frank came through and said her name. This was on May 13th. I was recording just to talk with Nancy Guthrie or any who's I could get. here's the way it came through hardly at all, right? Anne Frank, I can hear it. It's Anne Frank, dude. Send it through my program

to get rid of the static. Then, a little bit slowed down. Slowed down, like a demon? Here's another way. Aunt Frank came through and said her name. It was like someone having sex with the Anne Frank. Yeah. I would forget her.

Well, so this lady's whole account is just her convinced. Yeah. Spirit recordings. God damn. This is a follow. Yeah, that's, you'll find some gems in there.

She's just like. Are they all Anne Frank? No, this one's Abraham Lincoln. Yeah. Abe, you're really getting good. Abe, say your name. Abe, can you say Abraham?

Abe, can you say Abraham? It's like I'm talking to my son. Yeah. You say Maddie? Say, Matt. Say, say, man. Can you say Nana? Can you say Nana?

Yeah, this lady is fucking absolutely insane. I think, okay, so if Microsoft is watching on your shit and arrest people, right? They should just arrest people like this, like, oh, man, you're a fucking actual schizo like this, you're gone. Oh, man. She's fucking around with audacity. What is she making? Two different voices for sure. About the beginning.

I've been recording for almost four months and have hours of chatter. Many of the clips I cannot make out. Oh, really. But the voices are there. And that's the exciting part. What does it all mean? I guess we will all know when we know. I have a pinned video on my page explaining more of this process.

and feel free to go down the rabbit hole and listen to the hundreds I have posted. There are many I will not share except the family or authorities at this present time. They aren't interested in the clues from the spirit world. Oh, at this present time,

they are not interested in the clues. It's difficult to believe this is happening, however, it's real. Oh, and this is a Nancy Guthrie one. Okay. What's her pinned one? The Anne Frank says her name. Oh.

Wow, dude, this chick's crazy. Just, you know, small amount of views still. Five likes on this shit. Another one that just got to take my word for it. This is different. It's amazing. Poop Dad, Poop Dad's from the spirit world is talking us. I was asking about what's coming.

Am I being prepared for something? And I do not give up. another one am I being prepared for something the nut house yeah those ladies fucking entirely off of rocker but she knows how to use audacity

that's incredible maybe was it designed for insane people it must be it must be maybe insane people look at and they're like oh yeah this makes total sense to me normalize yeah

select tracks anytime someone wants to sit over my shoulder and see what I'm doing it's gonna be this from now on I'm gonna open audacity and start being like I think Anne Frank's talking to me dude

German spirits are speaking man bro this lady is cooked you know I I hooked up some audio cables in this house and they were like really long so

if they were if they were uncoiled they would pick up like Japanese AM radio yeah I wonder if she's got something it's got to be some something's wrong. The happens in churches a lot.

Yeah. Or they'll get interiors, they'll get radio stations AM radio from a long, long way away. Yeah. Certain preamps I'll use

will do that for me too. Wonderful. Okay. So then there's, I think I got one last one here. Oh, oh wait, no, this is action number three

because there's one after this one. Okay. So this is the type of shit that happens in your house when you're hung over and I think you'll agree with me. What is this guy doing? He's doing a tight rope walk.

Okay, a guy. And then he meant to do that. Yeah, his shoes are attached. But it looks like he's superimposed over the top. It's a guy spinning around, screwing around on a tight rope walk. It looks so fucking stupid, but I sat there and watched this shit. Does anything happen to him?

No, I wanted to see him fly off. That would have been like the ultimate. That's me on a slack rope, two inches above the ground. Man. This is a PVP enabled. Okay. Uh-oh. Two black guys.

Stop stealing my shit, it says. Oh, they're using aluminum bats? Yeah. Swinging them like bow-whips. Jesus. My other caption was when you bring a bat to a bat fight. Oh, wow! Oh!

Get he, get him. I ain't gonna let him do, I ain't gonna let him do, eh. Dude, we try to get rich, just like y'all. But yeah, bro, send me cash app or something. Damn, big ass face-looking ass. Big ass face-looking ass. Dude, they are fucking hammering each other. These people can't go to the hospital.

Oh, that was a skull hit. Dude. I've seen shit like this half an hour in the streets out. But, and this is his home, yeah. Is this his home that he's running into? He's got glass doors or plexiglass. Look his head. Oh my God, his head's all bust.

Now he's busting in the fucking front door window. Why would your doors have no, have a window in this neighborhood? French, he's got like French doors. Who knows what this place was like when they put him in? Beautiful. Yo, chill out. Come on. Yo, chill out.

You, chill out. he's bleeding out the back of the skull America America you got him yeah fucking got him everyone involved got brain damaged America

man he's the Waffle house guys come on fucking he took that one to the face People were trying to get ready for work man that should I saw that I have immediate say

that was one of the fastest things I've ever saved black people whipping each other with aluminum baseball bats when you hear that hollow ding it's just like because you know how hard it is from playing t-ball it hurts

you know that sound that even joke if you just drop it from waist height to your foot that hurts like a bitch but for some asshole who's mad at you to fucking swing that

at your skull piece wow okay goodbye everybody that's me when that's a good one That was a feel-good one that you dropped on us. Thank you.

All right, goodbye. See, everybody. Let me check Discord. Dude, they're still going. Wow. It's still going. You know what? Batfight in the Discord.

Everybody in Discord to start hitting each other with aluminum bats. 25%. I think Vito will come around. He's just trying to hardball me. He's just negotiating. You know, he's trying to hardball me. I read the art of the deal. Oh.

I know how it works. I read the 48 laws of power and then I read the art of the deal. I read it at the same time. Right. I actually made 48 new laws that. Oh, you did? Yeah. Unpublished?

Well, I'll make a deal with you. You can have them if you. Oh, Kyle. It's quite a deal. It's a hell of a deal. All right, goodbye, everyone. See you, everybody.