The Dick Show - Episode 524 - Dick on The Real Real Ghostbusters

Episode Date: September 13, 2026

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I never got the minions before. I just like them to be an asshole. But now I get the minions since having a kid. People say that you're going to learn a lot about yourself with having children. And I really have learned that I get the minions. They're still gay. But I get it.

They say banana. The minions. Can you hear it? Can you hear us? Yeah. That's what they say. say banana and the babies say banana that's what i've learned yeah that's what i've learned about myself like everyone said i would learn about myself so much and i always wanted to shove it down

their throat oh yeah i'll show you who learns about whose self it's like if your baby was filippino boomers always say that to me you know you learn so much about yourself and you have a kid oh yeah did you guys learn how to fuck your kids over drop indians on their head am i going to learn how to drop Indians on everyone's head of having a kid, you goddamn boomer fuck. Gonna learn how to lie about your broken A.C. I'm going to learn how to lie

about my broken A.C. My neighbor told my wife he's going to put up a sale, in her words. A sale between our houses. What the fuck does that mean? I don't know. For privacy, we've got some privacy in our yard. I don't give a fuck put up whatever you want. Oh, like a boat sail.

Like a boat sale, yeah. He's going to sail his house away, I guess. I was thinking, like a yard sale. What do you mean? Why are you asking me? Are you going to put it like... That's a slippery slope, dude. He's going to put the cannon on the roof, like fucking Mary Poppins.

It's going to be... I got to keep my eye on him all the time. He's always encroaching. He's like Israel, and I'm like Palestine. He's always fucking sending... He's always settling on my land. his building is always encroaching you know his cedar chips are over the line

over the line I come out there every week over the line this is the one whose house is on a bunch of logs that slowly roll over throughout the day yeah he's got it on his space shuttle crawler his house is crawling encroaching upon my territory every day every time I'm gonna set up a rampart

yeah every week it gets like a centimeter closer and I noticed it is it is it is it is it is it is like I got to fix this fence. I'm going to go, yeah? He's like, yeah, I'm going to put the new fence up and they take this old shit away. This one's crap, but you don't want this fence either. He said, well, how come you get, the new fence has to go? It's not quite exactly where the old fence was.

It's a little bit encroaching. It goes down the middle of my stairs. I'm going to put a sail up, I'll let you know. Why are you letting me know? What am I, what's in the, what's in the terms in here that I'm not seeing? I don't speak boomer. I know, like, if I brought my dad in here, he would know exactly how you're trying to fuck me over. But I don't speak your language.

That means 50% of it's coming out of your pocket, too, there, pal. Are you telling me I'm going to pay for this shit? Because I'm not paying for no sale. I don't care how cool it is. He wants to sail. I don't care how many Indians came here on it. Yeah. No, he wants to sail, but he wants you to pay for it.

Pay for half of it at least. Sounds like it. Better not. not paying for no privacy sale that's the only reason your neighbors talk to you is they want some shit they want some money they want send over the Girl Scouts

or some shit get some money out of you just so their kids can fucking I'm dry not buying magazine subscriptions so your kids can get some shit from four imprint they still do magazine sales

I don't know I've been out of school for so long sometimes I get in the mood for a magazine I'm like where's the magazine sales right now I could buy some kids some weebles. Man, if I just had a fresh copy of highlights,

maybe I could do a little seek and find or something. If I could go back and do it all over again, I'd do more highlights at the dentist's office. I didn't appreciate it at the time. Yeah. Do you ever read through a Reader's Digest? No. I did one time.

What were on those bitches in the minds back then? It wasn't, from what I recall, I was like, oh, I thought this would be purely old people shit. It was like Well, it's young people But old people At the time Yeah

Yeah It was crazy Were our mothers Being like Raised babysat By murder porn all day Is that what was in Reader's Digest?

I don't think so At some point Women were not just Reading about Murder all day Like they are now Yeah All they do

Is study serial killers It's not healthy And read scary books or skim scary books. Yeah. Modern woman. Charge they phone, scared themselves.

Make it your fault. Make it your fault. You got to crack down on that shit. We need to put an ID, an ID check at least. Yeah. Meanwhile, we know everything about World War II,

but that's like problematic. We know everything about World War II except for one fact. And that is. That's why I have to keep studying. We have to keep studying because it doesn't make sense. Something about this doesn't make sense. And then they just, all of a sudden, one day,

ha, let's go back to the books. We've got to start studying. We've got to start at the beginning. We've missed something critical in this World War II documentary. Something about it just doesn't make fucking sense. And then they would put them in the, why? Why would they build a sports? special thing for that. That's not, we didn't do that to American Indians. Why would they do that?

That doesn't make sense. Let's start back at the, I'm sure if we just go and re-litigate. Let's start at the beginning. Okay, okay. So what happened at the beginning? Well, like we said, Hitler started giving speed. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. He just started getting... Presenting... Right? That's why we are stuck. That's why we're stuck in the loop. I gotta have a little bit on. Welcome to Dick. You want Dick, you need, dig, you love it. You got it.

It's Joe Irvin's a contest. Coming to live from Mountain Bunker, Deep in the Haudy, City, Failure. My host, Nick Mason, A.K., the $20 million man, joining me is Johnny the audio engineer. Hey, is Carl the new co-hosts to the biggest problem or what? He must be. He must be. Right? Carl's got, Carl better be holding out for a good deal if he is.

He better be. He should be asking for $15. percent of the gross. Not the net. Carl deserves 50% of the gross. He's got multiple successful shows. Vito doesn't have shit. Right. Carl's got the street credit to back it up, man.

Carl's got shows. Carl's got connects. Carl's got right-wing humor. That's very hard to find. Worked on e-bomb's world too, man. He's got the pedigree. He's got the pedigree. He should demand 50% of the gross.

Not this net shit. He should get 75% of the gross. He should get sad. He's an actual broadcaster, man. He doesn't keep the superchats. That's fair. That's fair. You know?

That's game time. The superchats should dwarf the Patreon. You know, it's an easy formula. Look, he's dealing with 100% of what's gross. So he should get 50% of the gross. Oh, man. You know what I saw? Today is yesterday.

I saw infomercial for one of those child choking. devices, the anti-choking devices? I shit you not. I must got it, you know, because all I do is talk about kids and stuff. My phone's listening, right? So now I only get stuff for kids. I loaded it on my phone and it's like,

has this ever happened to you? And it was a life vac. So there's two, there's a device called a life vac where you like put it in your kid's face and then it's like a plunger. It's like the little sink one. Yeah, you suck it out of there. You pull it out of the throat.

I don't know if it works. I tried to do it to me. And it felt kind of weird. I'm like, man, I don't, this is... Just take your own last breath from yourself? Yeah. Like, I'm trying to stop it to test it. But I think I have a beard so it doesn't work.

I need to shave my mustache down into the Charlie Chaplin. Right. So it'll fit in the life vac. But then I was like, all right, I mean... It says it works. I guess, keep it. It was like 70 bucks, so it better work. My son chokes to death

and I paid 80 bucks for this thing. It doesn't work. I'll be pretty pissed off. Meanwhile, I thought the ad for the child choker would be like a six pack of beers. But then the infomercial said, it was basically like, has this ever happened to you? And it's like somebody fumbling with the lifeback?

Somebody fumbling with the version I have with the plunger. And it doesn't go all, it's not like these spilling popcorn all over his dead kid, you know, in the bowl. But it's basically saying,

has this ever happened to you? And it's like, oh, God, you're pan- and it's like, you're panicking and you're trying to find a seal. I'm like, yeah. And then it's like,

introducing the fucking, the better life back, and you just put it on their mouth and press a button and it goes, right? Fuck. It sucks it out.

Like, I don't know. Maybe that's true, but I think, the way you guys presented this to me is not, it wasn't necessary to do, has this ever happened to you? Throwing popcorn all over a dead kid. It, uh, it reminds me that thing about like, don't leave, uh, your kid alone with a cat. Oh, yeah?

He'll steal its breath. Yeah, I've heard that. So, kill, what is that? Is that real? It's like, it's like, oh, your kid's warm. So it lays on its face and it can't. Oh, and then it's dead. But people go like, oh, my God, he stole his breath.

Like, they think. Mexicans do that. Yeah. You don't need an anti-choking device. You just need a cat around, dude. This is my anti-choking device right here, back of my hand. Crack! Bitch!

Wap! Lindsay Clancy's, the trilogy is over. Man. She's, I don't know, going back to the mental hospital or a jail or something. That's beautiful. That's, you know, my, we, my wife and I were joking around about it. like he's what if he's black what if this what if the holdout guy's black right i mean because you can see him in there any normal any man mostly any man would have caved you got nine nine

bitches on you nagging you to death litigating the two men in there caved right right right now they're now they're yes manza yeah well you know i was i was in there and i was crying i was so happy i was so happy to vote not guilty You know, and by insanity, they just get that, they get that distant look in their eyes of, they're institutionalized. Institutionalized. You put normal men in there, but it took a brave black man to simply not care about how being harangued by nine, quote, white women.

He's the real Rosa Parks. He is my brother. Our brother. What's his name? Something. Winston Tobago. or something, Washington, Tivoggio. Jefferson Jefferson.

Jefferson. God is just beautiful. It's just beautiful. He's a Haitian immigrant or something. Exactly the people they fucking brought it. He's off the plantation now. You bitches didn't think of this, did you? He was right. Guess you're not getting away with it after all. They said he was in the jury room on his phone,

dicking around on his phone while I'm trying to explain to it. Yeah, I bet. I bet he was. Was the speakerphone on? That's a shame. It's shame that you guys

had to deal with that. Yeah. FaceTiming the whole time. Look at this. The consequences of my actions right in front of me. Strong black man. That's what it took.

To stand. to stand in front of these white devils and say no you will face punishment for murdering kids take that

I don't think so white devil not today Satan then they found out he he owes back rent or something I bet they found everything

they possibly could about this guy they found out he owed back rent and he is he was arrested once for strangling his wife or something like that he's the expert he's the expert he's like well when I strangled my wife

I meant it so I bet she meant it the man of conviction he is a man the man of the hour they disappeared man oh it's beautiful it's just beautiful oh you know that guy you guys all hate oh he's black by the way

oh well I don't hate him. I just hate that he couldn't understand that women could do whatever they want and get away with it. What about all your tweets where you said you wanted him dead though?

It sounded like you wanted to lynch him. Is that what happening here? You're wrangling up all the news, local news stations and digging up his pass. You're going to send a posse around to string him up? Is that what's happening now? Seems like that's

Seems like that's what's happening now. You know, I don't know. Seems like one of you guys are ready to call them the N-word. I don't know. I've heard a lot of people say the N-word. This is what it feels like right before. This kind of a calm before the N-word. You know, where you're refocusing your energies.

Your energies, yeah. Your energies. And then gone. It was like a nuclear bomb went off. All of that shit about solidarity. all the pink hat shit and by the way we're gonna take back the patriarchy

we're not getting enough attention from our husbands here comes the bomb he's black gone you watched the bubble sort go off in everyone's mind trying to recalculate where they should stand on it yep uh oh oh oh oh and everyone

he's black he's black he's black he's black uh oh oh oh oh he just couldn't get over the violent murders damn damn him what a what a hero what a fucking hero man not the hero we need we deserve

but the hero we need whatever that gay Batman quote is hero we deserve something about the Joker not the Joker we need yeah did you see Did you see that on 9-11?

A couple days ago, two days ago. On 9-11, they were having like a memorial for 9-11 at the Yankees game, you know, New York City, a Yankees game. And a Palestinian protester ran out onto the field screaming about Free Palestine. Did you see that? No. You want to know something crazy? I was almost at that game

dude well dude can you believe that I can believe that dude I know you you're fucking well traveled well versed I was almost at that game we in dealing dealing you're all over the place

at any given time I was almost at that game well it's crazy because weren't you almost on the plane too I was on almost almost on all four planes that's right September 11th they were going to draw and quarter me beforehand and put me on every

Here was the pin. It was sitting right here the whole time. I've spent five minutes looking for the fucking pin before the show's right ear. In your hand. It was right here under the fucking keyboard. God damn it. I was almost at that game.

Yeah, it wouldn't be funny. It wouldn't be funny if 9-11 happened today because my first thought would be, why are they attacking themselves? You know? It's like, you guys just, you almost wrecked a mosque, flying those, crashing those buildings into those, those banks with two or three floors suspiciously empty.

You guys, you almost messed up your own mosque. How's your Muslim terrorist mayor gonna feel about this? You're getting attacked by your own guys. It really wouldn't work today, huh? No, they couldn't make 9-11 today. That's what I was thinking. They couldn't do it today. They couldn't do it today.

It would be like, yeah. I mean, that's your guys' area. We don't care. they already did like the big reveal so now it's like if something similar happens it's like okay who's getting the insurance yeah everyone's already like accustomed to like everybody's uh acclimatized solid i don't know just atrocity in general i guess yeah Canada said you can't refer to it as a terrorist attack Canada news organization oh that don't refer to as a terrorist attack said oh wow all right let me see who says

said that. Where is it? The memo, internal memo sent around by CBC's Senior Director of Journalistic Standards Basem Basra. Hmm. Hmm. So then I typed that guy in. I was like, all right.

Let's see where, let's get a check on. Hey, I'm first thing that pops up. Am I the right kind of immigrant question mark? No. Yeah. No, you're not. With that shit. It's been 25 years of this shit.

Don't call up terrorist attack. Let's put mosques up everywhere. We gotta have a mosque everywhere. Yeah, I don't fucking think so. I don't think so. Uh... Hey, what happened? The AI stuff's getting...

Pretty gay. It's getting pretty gay this week. I had a, I had a silly response to one of the, all the AI guys got together and said we have to, we have to price fix. We have to make sure nobody gets any better. We have to make sure that there's nobody getting any better. It's funny because they're all running like, they're all running like this, these nerd PR campaigns that like only, only appeal to gay, There's like normal nerds and gay nerds and they only appeal like all these all these things like oh our RAI It broke containment and hacked a penis factory Can you guys believe it and pretty much everyone All normal people are like yeah

I mean Sounds like you guys just messed up like What do you mean it hacked out of your is my dog like hacking out of my fence? I guess, but Sounds like you probably nerds just probably messed it up and right and then they all come out and say like oh man i thought people would be more i thought people would be more upset at our that our gay chatbot hacked out of our shitty server and caused a bunch of unspecified damages and garbage at another at a cocksucking factory at an online cocksucking factory like oh whoa whoa so then they said um so then they said the whole human race

is going to go extinct in 10 years or something if all their gay chatbots keep increasing cool yeah it'd be cool right start taking out all those 50 year loans and shit let's load up on those 50 year loans they all of them at once all the AI people altogether

you know what I've I've worked here for 10 years and I agree that there's a there's a 5% chance of total human extinction like are you guys do you have any friends Did you run this by any normal people Or just other gay nerds? There's a hundred percent chance

With those fucking retards and control It's like, come on How do you have a 5% chance of total human extinction? That works if there's like an asteroid And you're like, yeah, I mean our math Doesn't quite have it right But maybe it gets caught in a group You know, our mathematical models

Don't quite Can't quite square if it's going to come by Because it's so far away And there's errors in the measurement and stuff there may be a slim 1% chance of an asteroid impact. It doesn't really work when you're making like gay computer chatbots. Oh, there's a 5% chance. It could wipe everyone out.

How? Name one way. We need to get rid of all this shit and be like if you can't operate a slide rule, you're not allowed near anything scientific. Get the fuck out of here. It really, and I see everybody gets caught up in this, just totally retarded 80s sci-fi fantasy

that these glorified clipy machines are capable of doing are capable of doing anything other than like financial damage like hacking into servers and causing you know bank issues

which wouldn't be a problem if everyone on crypto but whatever one by one one so I said simply yeah there's like there's like there's mathematical limits

to where what LLMs can do. And making them better requires, like, more and more money. Like, approaching the speed of light. Every improvement costs a little bit more, costs more than the last one did. If you get closed and close, you spend $2 billion making this one,

the next one's going to cost you $10 billion. And then the next one's going to cost you $100 building. Unless you get more data, which they can't do because they already stole all the data on Earth and are using it illegally, which I don't know why, I don't know why they're allowed to do it and no one else is, because everyone,

I think at the end of the day, everyone thinks that because the computer can talk to them, that it must be them in some way. And they think they are like, well, the computers, look, it's talking me, so it's me. It's capable of anything. It's capable of destroying the world. I'm capable

of destroying the world if I could just stop jacking off all the time and get in better shape. So it's like this weird, it's like this weird kind of projection of everyone. And you can, you can, if you get them to talk about AI long enough, you can see that they're talking about themselves. Yeah. And this bizarre, and this bizarre, like, anthropomorphification of their,

of their greatest view of themselves, of the pure ego. Like, look at this amazing thing that the AI did. Like, when you say the AI did it, who do you mean? Do you mean you? You mean you, right? You're capable. You think you are capable of all, of all these things. So, therefore, the computer must be doing it like you would do if you could just stop jacking off, right? That's what you're saying? Because the answer is no. You cannot do any of the

go ahead. You look like you're going to say something. No, it's basically like OZampic all over again. Look at how skinny I am. And then you get the people who it's like well, all I have to do is just take OZempic and it's like, damn, there's a miracle

fucking thing allegedly. You know what? And you still won't even take it. This is exactly the fucking prop this ties into it too exactly what you're saying um the age that we live in is these these it's like we've got shortcuts that exist maybe this has always been true we've got these

shortcuts that exist for the first time that really kind of invalidate the human experience like AI again AI says it's proven this complicated math formula like what there's math there's math problems that exist that have never been solved you know somebody comes up

with a with an idea and says well a holds true, like, I don't know why, either prove that it's true using math or find an example where it's not true. That's like math. That's a big math problems. And then people spend their whole lives doing it, working on that shit. And they'll win a Nobel Prize for figuring it out. So Open AI comes out and says, we figured out one of them. We figured out one of the problems. That's like the first time that's ever happened. Isn't that amazing? And some mathematician comes out and goes, wait a minute. I was working on that problem.

And that's how I was going to, that's why I was working on it. And I put all my shit into the AI. Did you guys steal my shit? And they said, and opening eye says, um, if you don't, if you don't just take like partial credit, we're going to ruin your life. Basically, we're going to ruin, they ask shit like, why would you ruin your career over this? And the math, math people don't, they don't work in, they don't work with, you know,

and reason like normal people they're not business-minded you know so threats don't really work on them right because it's not on the it's not on the paper why it should be a threat they don't see they don't see like they don't see like mob they don't really know how the mob works like normal people do so the guy says fuck you I'm fuck you I'm going on Twitter right away you guys stole my you obviously stole my shit he's the he's the one guy that would know impossible impossible for you to For the computer to just come up with this, right? And the AI scum bags are like, well, you know, it's pretty impressive that we did, but it's not.

Because the whole point of all of it, the whole point of the creating of anything is the lessons and the work that you put in that are a product of working toward the goal. It's not reaching a goal. Like, you know, it's not like fucking dark side and you're finding the anti-life equation. We can all just move on when the equation's answered. It's like the process of arriving at these things cause, will birth industries. They drive a human advancement for thousands of years, you know, the process of trying to achieve these goals, just like the Ozympic. It's the process of rising above these beast, these animalistic desires to not stuff yourself fat, not stuff yourself until you can't fucking think until all, until the, until the, until the, until, The only thing you can feel is the pain of being stuffed morbidly obese.

Rising above that lust into something else will cause you to grow as a person. And not be such an asshole anymore. Right? Like, I could just take a pill and not be an alcoholic. I would still be an asshole. Maybe someday I'll stop craving alcohol. and that will also solve being a huge pain in the ass to everyone, right? That will solve a number of other things that are troubling me and everyone.

Hasn't happened yet. A pill won't do that. It will solve the one thing and not the rest of them. Will you ever have a day perhaps earlier on in your life where you actually get caught up on all your shit and you go, I have a drink in five days? Yeah. When you're like, well, I have the whole rest of the day to myself. Like, what the fuck am I going to do now?

It's like, I already did this. Did everything I wanted to do. And you're like, huh. So you got Bernie saying we got to stop AI. You got all the guys who are the heads of AI saying we got to slow down because they already hit the wall. They can't, they're not going to spend another, nobody wants the $2 billion one. They're not going to spend another $10 billion. And they know that every innovation.

that comes up that makes it cheaper and cheaper and cheaper, open source is going to catch up. It's impossible for them to stay ahead of it. And I say, we need right away, we need the government to come in. Who shows up? Bernie, we've got to stop this technology. I'm sitting there going, you know, as long as I've been alive and even longer, maybe for the last hundred years, we have just taken every technology and shit on it and ruined it and said, no, you can't, you can't.

guys can't use this. You can't, you can't play with it all. Nuclear power. We just have, people just don't like, people don't like nuclear power, so we're just not going to do it. So for your entire life, you have to hear stupid garbage about recycling. So, so basically we're going to take this technology that's amazing and, and by definition, better than everything we have before, it's a little rough around the edges. There's going to be some problems, but there always is. And we're going to just basically abandon it. So because of that,

all the midwits around you, and for the rest of your life, are going to be empowered to have opinions on this and many other things. They're going to have opinions on how you consume, how you spend energy, because now it's falling behind. Now everyone

has to be this sort of energy Nazi following you around this energy nark. Ooh, you're using a little too much energy. You're using a little too much energy for you. You could cut back. You know, people in Africa are not using any energy at all. Whole fucking life, man. Our whole fucking life. Turn off the lights when you're not in the room kind of shit. Yeah. Give me 20,000 nuclear reactors right now. All of this shit goes away. There's no problems. Yeah. No problems. But we don't, we don't live in that world. We live in a world where every single fucking thing gets stymied and

rat fucked by the government because people are stupid. And I have a say in it. leading into the final one man this chatbot it's gay but god is it helpful maybe we could make some maybe we could just replace drug companies with this and just have a chat bot that that randomly assembles molecules and stuff that's that's well within the purview of this code that's what that's something we could definitely do have it just churning day and night not making jackoff pictures and stuff not making Hollywood fucking you know what kind of not making goyslob

actually helping actually helping just like every single other thing we had before that could be actually helping crypto take off destroy the banking industry get rid of usury yeah awesome let's have it actually nah that's a little that math is a little too advanced for you guys we don't want you

we don't want you getting into that dirty math we're going to go ahead and we can't we don't know if we can make it illegal but it's certainly not going to be certainly you're not going to be able to invest in it which is the obvious, obvious step for it. 20 years later. Oh, you guys are doing it. You guys are multiplying matrices a little bit too aggressively here.

You guys are multiplying a little bit, you guys are multiplying these little too many matrices. We're going to have to go ahead and stop that. Or else the whole human race can go extinct. It's so fucking annoying, man. It's so fucking annoying. Just one goddamn zeros. Yeah.

all of it just wants a and God's damn your house and it feels like the people who should be saying something just don't know they just like

I don't know man maybe they're right maybe this is a big problem and there's nobody that can say definitively hey shitheads it's not escaping anything

it's not escaping a fucking sandbox and causing trouble you guys watch too many movies it's not you the computer's not you It's just a bunch of garbage. It's a bunch of fucking math.

Well, it's like it's not even that useful on its own anyway. Not at all. Sometimes you've got to sit there and fucking babysitting it. People are talking about it. I'm like, are you even use AI? What the fuck are you talking about, dangerous? It can't do anything. Like without somebody there whacking it on the head over and over and over.

It's just totally stupid. It's great if you sit there. Bup, Bup, B, B, B, hey, keep going. Keep going. Keep going. It's like people get more obsessed with like the idea of the capability of something. Of themselves. Yeah.

Yeah. This thing will unlock my true potential, which is the most powerful man in the universe. It's like he man. Everybody's watching fucking he man. But the reality is a little bunny foo-foo. You got to sit there whack a field mouse all day. Now do it again. Do it right.

Do it right. Do it right. I take the of mice and men method and just pet its head in. God bless Trump He said nah That's gay That shit's not real Fuck it

Keep going Yes thank God The one time being a boomer Has helped Trump with AI Trump is Trump They say they're gonna

The AI is gonna kill humanity I don't think so Only a boomer Say good luck nerds Go explain to the boomer How the computers are gonna Make the human race go extinct Have fun with that

I'm sure it'll be really Receptive to that idea Having lived through you know, a potential nuclear holocaust. I'm sure the boomers will really eat that up. The thing they never understood to begin. Yeah. You're saying it'll mess up my vacation home or not?

How would it do that? I don't have a phone. How's it going to affect me? That's their motto for everything. Well, I don't use email, so how is it going to affect me? That's a great point. They're going to go, how's it going to affect my spreadsheet? How's it going to affect my spreadsheet?

I can't even connect to the internet. Yeah. Just unplug it. Using Windows or Office 95. This Office 95 having a motherfucker. Good luck with that. Yeah, let me see here. Black guy.

Let me play some of the clips from the Lindsay Clancy jury. What a, what a, what a fantastic show that was. I didn't. Is this like? is this the new way that is this the new way you get thanked for going on juries like they just dig up your life and fuck with you talk about how you strangled your ex-wife and hit a kid

yeah I don't think it's supposed to work like this it's definitely I mean the way whoever thought of doing juries did not imagine nine women and a black guy serving on a jury I know that because they were because they were racist So I can tell you that much Let me find it

Haitian immigrant I didn't label these The Coven Can you hear that? Yeah, all right Here we go Time getting off the fact that Lindsay viciously killed her children

Let me hear that again The hardest time getting off the fact that Lindsay viciously killed her children children. He had the hardest time. He had the hardest time getting over the fact that Lindsay viciously killed. Why would you say viciously if you're doing an interview? Idiot.

Editorializing that shit. That was one of the fucking jurors. You know they had nurses in there? Oh, buddy. Hoof. The most enfranchised women on the planet. A fucking nurse. She's probably fat, too.

Go to weigh 200 pounds. Mm-hmm. She probably weighed 200 pounds. Fat is the day is long. But he had the hardest time getting off the fact that Lindsay viciously killed her children. But he had the hardest time getting off the... Show the Oprah clips, 80s girl says. Okay, okay, okay, let me find if I have those.

Oh, no, this is another one from that sit-down interview. Really did not take anything that anybody said. The nurses, he tried to ask a question about the medications, and we went back to the report from South Shore Hospital. We had the toxicology report. We could see exactly the amounts. The nurses in the room spoke to that and talked to that. There were nurses on the jury. Yes.

Sorry. Sorry. That specific thing. That was a question that he had. And he just completely disregard. the information that they gave. I mean, he had reasonable doubt. He admitted he had reasonable doubt.

After we watched that video of the interview... He admitted it. I! He admitted he had reasonable doubt. And I started filling out the forms. I was so excited. I started filling out the forms. There were three forms I had to fill out. And I started filling them out.

I wrote my signature on each one. And then he said, but I'm still not. I said that she's not guilty by reason of instance. I'm not sure if Rogue is the right word, Sue. Dan word, that's what you're looking for. Every one of us in the hours of a frustration would get up and walk the room. I didn't. And we'd all go to the car.

Pacing around. With the exhibits. He, he, I think got up to the cart once very briefly and went back to his seat. He would not, he would not interact with us. and try to understand. We read him on numerous occasions, the definition of reasonable doubt from Judge Sullivan's instruction.

He actually said one day in the end, well, why don't we have the judge come in and read it again? And we were like, no, we have it in front of... Hey, let's have the judge come in. Let's mix things up. I'm tired of listening to you. stupid white women because he had it had to be

I don't know why I just got this feeling when he was a whole lot I'm like it's gotta be something else is going on here it's just one black guy who's like fuck white women fuck white people I'm not doing this I'm not letting you get I'm not letting y'all

I'm not finna let y'all get away with murdering kids all right where's the Oprah interview I see if I can find it. No, that's the same one. And wokeness? No. That's the same one. All right, let me find it. Lindsay Clancy, Oprah. Okay. Yeah. Yeah, we have opposing views. We do. And I think, you know, I said to her, I think so she hasn't gone through it. She's not a mother. So she doesn't know how it feels to have a child. And you disagree? I disagree. I am, I feel like I'm not with the majority right now.

Do you believe she's a murderer. After all you've heard today, you still... I'm an advocate for mental health. Yeah. It's just unfortunate, like, and she's so quick to say it, she's like, you've never had a baby. You don't understand what it's like to go through all the whole little shit. You don't understand what it's like to want to kill your kid.

I really, I really hate the way modern women speak. I do, I do believe. It's I believe. It's not I do believe. It's I believe. I do be eating. I'm eating. Stop saying do.

But I just feel as though these were not instant deaths. They weren't gunshots to the head. She was there strangling her kids three times. You're telling me like even after the first time she couldn't snap out of it. She's watching the life. Look, I'm willing to get. give you one dead kid. I'm willing to say,

look, I'm reasonable, you know? I'm part of the sisterhood. Oprah, don't give me that look. You're looking at me like I'm a cheeseburger. I'm a plate of ribs. Oprah, I'm willing to admit that you guys are right. It's okay to kill one of your kids. But two?

Come on. We all know how psychotic breaks work in movies. You get through one and then you're like, what have I done? And then you look at your hands. Right? Classic psychotic break. Or you get slapped or something hits you in the head.

You snap out of it. Okay? Let's be reasonable here. Leave your kids' eyes, you know? So I know. I hear everybody's opinions and God bless mothers. But at the same, I just don't understand how we can empathize with somebody that

They weren't strangers. They were her kids. And she was able to Jesus Christ. Grab those exercise bands. That took a lot of effort and it's, and the exercise bans were unused.

That these young kids gone through that, but it's previously. I'm grateful that this conversation is happening because I do believe like women. I do believe. They are on the back burner

when it comes to mental health. If this was a man. Yeah, because you're fucking crazy. Because you guys are all collectively talking about how many kids it's okay to kill. Because you're You're fucking crazy.

Day or something going on, but... There would have been research. It would have been funded. Something right away. We got to research. It's becoming, she's becoming a mascot for... Insane bitches. Just, I feel like so many mothers empathize with her so much.

Right. That they want to put her out there, make her a mascot. And they're trying to... Look at this grumpy Indian bitch. What the fuck is going on here? She would kill that lady's kids if she had some. Yeah. Something so negative into a movement.

Okay. I hear that. This is, that woman is just quaking with fear. It's like, man, that must suck to be a woman. I walk in and then it's like, oh wow, 200 chicks hate me. Let's go. Bring it out. Bring it out. 200 versus one, let's go.

You, let's go. Who wants to be first? Huh? Who wants to be first, huh? But they can't do that. They can't do that. They don't know what's, you know, they'll just get their hair pulled out or something. That must be hard.

Screeching. Screeching. Not me. I'll go on, Oprah. Yeah, she deserves to die. She's a murder. She's a die. Let's go.

Let's go. Who's first? Huh? Who's the brave one? Huh? Oprah? You want to go? Huh?

I'll knock that wig right off, you bitch. If you've snatched Oprah's wig, that would be the... She's a murderer! Boom! Spike it. Spike the wig. You'd have to put it on your own head and then like tear your shirt off.

Call Cogan. All right. That's enough of that shit. What is this crap? Yeah. Okay. This realtor plans to suit. I think we did this last week.

A guy that got duct taped to the seat. Oh, here's one. Shoplifters chased by drones. Oh yeah, I did see that You saw that one? It's pretty funny Yeah Look at this

It's two black ladies Red hair Purple hair or whatever They're running Running through the parking lot of the Lowe's And this drone It's like dive bombing them Sick the dog

Sick those robots dogs on these two shoot some bolos at them run them over with that big wheel yeah that wheel is awesome I think about the big wheel all the time me too it's cool it's better than the drones and the dog

it's funnier it's funnier and it's more terrifying yeah the orb yeah yeah uh okay okay mm-hmm

Nathan Fielder and Elizabeth Holmes. Do you like Nathan Fielder? They do, yeah. I'm really excited about. I'm really excited about. But I think that's the point of it, right? Did you see his claw special? Or he has to escape from handcuffs or else a claw,

an electric claw will pull his pants off in front of a bunch of kids? Yeah. And he'll get an indecent exposure in front of minors. Dude, he's like... A charge. And he escaped it. Dude, he's like He's up there, man

I'm really excited for his documentary with Elizabeth Holmes It's gonna be like watching Like a clash of the Titans Two autistic psychopaths Two of the world's biggest fucking liars to like Yeah, exactly Two of the world's biggest liars

Where is the Where is the clip? okay here it is yeah but he's like Nathan Fielder like lies for good you know yeah

and she lies for evil yeah and you know that she's trying to like rehabilitate her image right yeah which it makes it even crazier so she could win because Nathan Fielder kind of lost on that on that airplane show

He didn't get in his experiment didn't really work And he didn't get anything changed In Congress and he was trying he was trying really hard But he failed Dude if he gets one up on this one that's like a That'll be staggering It will be a it will be a big loss for women If Nathan Fielder wins

Oh yeah And this it will be a big loss for women Let me hear this I don't have anything to deceive you on Of course I'm not deceiving you I'm engaging as a human being. Why would I deceive you?

There's no reason for me to do that. Okay. Okay, good chat. Okay. The nodding. You're being real right now? I'm always being real.

With the fucking music. It's here. Dear She's so crazy, man When does the nodding There's the nodding Yeah Where she's like nodding to

Like Yeah Uh huh Say yes Uh huh Say yes Uh huh Okay good chat

Uh huh Yes Yes Say yes Let's go Let's go Uh huh There we go

There we go You're being real Right now Uh Always being real Oh God I hate when they do that That constant one-upping.

Are you being real right now? I'm always being real. Like, God, founder bullshit. I'm the most realist. You couldn't even possibly, like underground rapper levels of real. Yeah, I'm like, I can't believe you'd even ask such a thing. How preposter? I'm the alpha and omega of real.

He named real after me. Yeah, if you look up real in the dictionary, dude? You're the ghost book. I'm the real Ghostbusters. You're the monkey. You're the fucking monkey version with the bubblegum gun that was actually the first Ghostbusters

based on a real show called Ghostbusters. So, technically you were first, but I'm the real Ghostbusters. Man. You're the shitty Ghostbusters. Look cool, right? Okay. Let me see if I can't get any

comments here. Oh, man. We didn't talk about the... Did you see that guy that was faking being on the 49ers? Dejean Love. Yeah, that guy's awesome. Dude, he brings his helmet in everywhere and he's like built like a million dollars out of women. Yeah.

Let me pull him up. This guy's so funny. I guess this is illegal. I don't know. So he brings his helmet everywhere and pretends he's on the 49ers. I'm a 49ers wide. receiver, but I might run a route straight to pop a smash. Let's collab. I'm hungry. This is just what he does for free food. It's genius. It is genius. And then he brings his helmet and takes a bunch of pictures.

And then he made like fake. Yeah, he made fake like how they, on TV, they say their name and stuff and they act all hard. Some of them act hard. But they say their name and position in front of the like the marquee and stuff. He would he would make all of his fake crap and send it to win. women. Dejaun Love, quality leering center. That one's fake. Let me find another one of these clips. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Okay, the hair salon. Where's the summary? Here's the summary. Fake 49ers player Dejan Love, seen for the first time since fraud arrest. Come on, give me the whole article. Give me, give me, give me, give me, give me. Here it is.

Fake 40. is the one I saw. With his helmet on. Fink 49ers player Dejan Love texts with alleged victims revealed. A lot of darkness. What? A lot of darkness.

You hoes are just trying to get a paycheck. Yeah. Who the fuck are you? A bunch of gold digging hose. These gold digging hoes really got fucked with by this Somalian immigrant with a fake helmet running fake drills on the beach.

The Dejan love story continues to unfold as female victims have started to speak out against him. Man, the 49ers should be, the players should be like putting together a go-fund me for this guy for like screening out all these gold-dicking hose. Right? He's like, they should have like a whole moat of fake 49ers. Every team should have like an army of fake football players

to get rid of these fucking semen demons trying to rope them into alimony and shit, these hose. Just like a bunch of like guys with like a little bit of down syndrome. Yeah. One of Love's alleged victims, Karina Rose, took her Instagram account and spoke about her interactions with Love, how she believes there is more to this story than him scamming women out of money. Ho's out of money.

I know everybody's joking about these things with Dejohn and how he pretended to be a 49ers player, but there's really a lot of darkness behind that. And then they show them. that picture of it. God damn. Dejaun love wearing a San Francisco 49ers helmet while working out on the beach. Is that what he was doing?

He looks like an unlocked character in that picture. God damn. Yeah, it looks like when you get a new item and it looks like crap on your character, you know, but it's powerful, like the helmet of fucking swiftness. I'm like, uh, I guess I got to wear it. Dejean love, why would I lie about playing football? This is the shit he said? Wait, hold up.

Send me more of your college highlights. Of you playing football, I want to see. I got hurt my college career, only had one year, then killed it in a private tryout. I got some off-season workout shit with my player edition gear on, though, if you want to see those. Then how did you get to the 49ers with no playout?

I would now play. Private tryout. This doesn't make sense. Oh, they're trying to bust them, huh? Okay Where's the beach run? Why would I lie about playing football? Yeah, here it is.

Dude, how do I get rid of this thing? There we go. Federal prosecutors alleged Dejaun Love stole $1.3 million from two dozen women while pretending to be a 49ers wide receiver. He constructed an NFL career out of costumes, social media theater, fabricated wealth, staged videos, and enough 49ers merchandise to stock a small team store. Over more than four years, investigators alleged,

he transformed himself online from an ordinary man who had never played in the NFL to a supposed professional athlete, with millions in the bank and an investment guru waiting on speed dial. Where is the... Is this one of the clips? Oh, here's him pretending to sign a...

contract. Boy, Jay Love, signing this contract. How you feel? I'm ready. Ready for the season? Sign that bad, boy. I think it's fucking stapled in the corner. Yeah.

What are you signing with? Who's your decision? Who's your decision? Niners, mumbling. Sign a contract. Iced up. You know what I'm saying? Be good to go.

Let's get ready to start the season. anything you got to say for the fans Lookout number seven Last name, Love 6 5, 210, I'm out there Wow receiving 6 5! Really? Did he get those numbers backwards?

Oh, here we go, here we go. Here's his workout on the beach. Now he's pulling a some exercise He's pulling a sled But there's nobody else there. All right. Now he's catching a ball on the beach.

Wow, what a cool highlight. All right. You got to pull out all the stops, man. Wait, he got 1.3 mil out of like two dozen women. Yeah, man. What's the math on that? How much was he getting on average per one? A lot.

That's like... Like $100,000. That's fucking pretty good. Because they want to invest in... That's so crazy. How do these women have money? They scammed it from... They scammed it from guys.

That's how. That's what I was trying to figure out. They fucking scammed it from not fucking guys. Right. And then they got scammed. Yeah. Because they didn't want to... They scammed it...

On, you know, only fans or whatever. They fucking... Hooking. what is? And then he scammed it from them. They didn't want to, you know, fuck for money anymore. So he's like, I got an investment guru.

He's going to 10x your money. And they said, yeah, let's go. Bring it on. It's like the Looney Tunes sign. Reverse? Yeah. Reverse sign. Yeah, the reverse card.

Fucking. One point, that's like. He's not guilty, though. He probably thought he actually was in the 49ers. Can he say that? I was fucking I had so much testosterone I thought I must play for the NFL

He looks so retarded He clearly believes it Is that a defense yet Retarded I'm too retarded To know what I was doing was wrong You know how people get like AI delusion

Where they'll talk to like chat GP teams Like actually you're like Yeah I was right the whole time Yeah I am God I knew it The like This level of retard Like doesn't even reach the computer

But it's just like Yeah actually you know what I got the car, I got the money, like, I am in the 49ers. This is a scam that I wouldn't think would work anymore. This is like an 1800s kind of scam. I play for the 49ers, you know? Like, you can easily check. You just go to the website.

Is Ray Finkel there? Yeah, no, Ray Finkel's not on the page. I don't think you played for the 49ers. It wouldn't have even worked in the 90s, like pre- Yeah. They don't have, it's because they have no dad. You know? Yeah.

They got no man around. I guess how I'm dating a 49ers. Oh, really? Where's his name? Reginald Love, number seven? I don't think so. I would have heard that. There was that other guy, um, Dr. Love, whatever the fuck.

Dr. Malachi Love or Love Malachi or whatever, that kid who was like 13 who pretended to be a doctor and like opened an office and fucking, this was in Florida. Was he like a booby inspector or something? I can't remember what he did, but he was like pretending to fucking be a doctor, dude. but he has love in his name too there's something about yeah something about love it's just like it turns you into like the worst kind of person

short circuits their brains yeah so they're like oh his name's love clearly he couldn't do anything wrong you gotta get me some of that you gotta give me some of that 49ers funny it's like reverse at some point the scam has to be so preposterous that it's not

their fault anymore and the victims are driven purely by greed. Yeah. So how is that? How is that a scam? They're not honest women. That's what it comes down to.

You see all these fat women who are like, I thought I was talking to Brad Pitt for months on social media. Yeah. You don't deserve any money, bitch. Get out of here. What was Brad Pitt doing asking you for 80 grand? Like, you know, Brad Pitt's not such a nice guy.

Yeah, it turns out. He's something happened on that plane. All of Brad Pitt's kids are like, they don't take his name. Oh, really? See that? I don't know. Brad Pitt's kids like win on strike and they don't make a big spectacle about that don't like them. I don't know.

I don't, man. You suck. What could he have done that's that bad this much time later? Yeah. His wife just poisoned their brains. His wife got all those like African and Cambodian kids too. That's right. you know she named one of them maddox she did name one of the maddox that's now he's

that's like talk about deterministic naming uh okay comments furious anger says i like the dual shower heads still being up when ray ray clippa and johnny rocket called in 10 out of 10 i noticed that halfway through i left that blot that wayfair black this photoshop job up half the fun yeah gentleman sausage says I need one of those stamps or logos or whatever they're called that they put up next to the screen next to the TVMA

thing for the designated ESG episode oh so sometimes it'll say TWMA LSV sometimes it'll say TVMA ESG this is about the green lantern and then you know not to let anyone else catch you watching that episode

yeah that's true episodes should say like it should say proudly like this episode is written by a black woman, you know? Yeah. I hope you enjoy. Fight the power. This episode was, what would they say, though?

This episode was, uh, this is a joint. This joint was smoked by a strong black, this song crazy, yeah. This is fun of, fucking. Finna by a strong, black, empowered female, uh, actor

writer this John Finna bust down all the stereotypes John Finna should take up the whole screen oh in like

the rating corner yeah the rating corner should be bursting it should be Finna burst uh mocks I listened to

episode 523 on autoplay 11 of the jurors voted to set her free Dick you absolute retard LMAO what was I bet are we feeling a little silly now

this week, Mox? It's always time to delete you know You can yeah, you can always just now post stuff I listen to it on AutoPlay Okay, okay, okay Nobody caught you listening, don't worry I think

I think we can review What's that? He accidentally heard this episode 11 of the jurors voted to set her free. Was that not? What do you think it means so she can get the help she needs? It's not rotting in a mental institution. I'll tell you that much. Oprah's audience does not want Lindsay Clancy rotting in a mental institution for the rest of her life.

They want her to tell them how sad she is and for her to get another chance. She's not Lindsay Chancy. Yeah. Because they're just, they're all guinea pigs. They're like, I'll just go pop out some more, you know? No big deal. Do you ever realize that guinea pig for such a cute little animal is probably one of the funniest racist, like, terms ever? Is it? Is it? Well, if you call people like guineas and shit, like get out of here, you guinea pigs?

You can't do that. Can't. But if you're like a guinea pig salesman, it's totally fine. If you're a guinea pig salesman. Yeah. I'm just dealing with these fucking guinea pig salesman. pigs all there.

Yeah. I guess it's the inflection, the tone of voice you say it in. Yeah, it's always that. Woman alert.

All right. Woman alert. Buckround. Found out. Love out. Let's see here. Is I not opening it? Nope.

Do do do do do do do do do do do do. Do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do. Oh, Louisville man throws a beer, shoves and kicks a woman for rejecting him on a second date? What is this? Jesus. Okay, this is a couple, a CCTV camera.

It's a couple sitting outside at a restaurant, a little roundtable. Okay, so the woman, he's drinking a beer, and she tries to grab the beer and throw it at him. That's called assault and battery. Let's see what this innocent, a guy innocently trying to drink a beer does in response in one smooth movement he pulls the beer out of harm's way

and then throws it right in her face direct hit pie right in the face, okay surely that's it right? Oh now she's activated she's jumping up taking swings at him so he defends himself she falls backwards over the bench and he well that kick was probably

unnecessary, but you don't know. She could bust out two knives. Oh my God! She's grabbed the bottle like in Happy Gilmore and she's going to break the bottle and stab him with it. Whoa, gonna glass him.

Damn. And then he chokeslams her. Yeah, you know, you can't take chances. You can't take chances with these women. Yo, that's not her first rodeo, though. Look at how many Time she kept God back up.

Oh, yeah. She just three attempted murders. Three, one attempted embarrassing and two attacks. So we've got, this is her aggression count. We've got tried to throw his beer. Okay. Tries to attack him. Okay.

All right. Stay down. Stay down. Nope. Now here she goes for the glass bottle. Like she's in roadhouse or something. Wham, down for the count. That's it.

That's it. That's it. She's not going to get up from that one. All right. Fucking Glass Joe over here. That'll be me on Oprah. Let's go. She deserves to go to jail.

Let's go. I'd bring in a little pipe and talk like Popeye. Yeah, Oprah? Skittl me timbers, eh? She deserves to be hanged for murder. Oprah Winfrey's punch out. Oh, blow me. down as Bluto.

Skittemarie. She's strickening her kids. I was like, whoa. She killed all of her kids. All right, let's go. And then it would go like, do, do, do, do, do. It's just the old-timey music.

Yeah. And they would, like, fly and wrap around telephone poles and lights would come down, and little birds would go around. You're like, all right, there, let's see. Wow, and I'd wind up. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Like that. And then Oprah would go like,

ah, and try to run away. I'd grab her wig. See cartoons like that. Worth watching. Lots going on. That's what I would do. Uh-huh. Okay.

Danish sheik. Dick having empathy for migrants with families was not on my 2026 bingo card? What did I say that spawned that? spawned that comment which I say that deserves such a horrible comment yeah what the fuck? Well I'm it's probably about the Milo getting deported

I mean everybody thinks like this is why democracy works because you just vote for horrible things and you don't have to you don't have to like see how the sausage is getting made you know people just start getting black bagged like oh wow I wonder why this is I wonder why this is happening

I wonder why this is happening a million normal Middle Easterners are getting killed by bombs. Oh well, I didn't, I voted for the other guy. That's what it always is, right? It's like, well, don't look at me. I voted for the other guy. That's a secret of democracy. You don't have to get your hands dirty. Like, well, whoops. That guy did that. He fucked up. I didn't vote for that part of his platform. I voted for the tax stuff. But he killed a bunch of people, I guess. My bad. But you really got a lot of people. But you really got understand it makes the I don't know

is it more if you really understand the cruelty of what you're doing if you really understand the horror of what you're supporting and still do it does it make it more or less cruel probably more I would say so

yeah I still want them all deported and I understand that every single one will cause like would be like the worst thing that ever could happen to, the worst thing that ever happened to them, probably, for most of them. Right. You know, aside from like death and that sort of thing. Getting all your shit uprooted, shipped back to a place you don't know, forcibly moved.

That was the appeal for me, is that you have to do that. You could call that empathy, I guess, as long as it doesn't come. As long as it's not followed by, wow, we shouldn't do this. Should do it even more. Right. Once you're doing one cruel thing, you should just do all of it. don't stop it just one you know

well it's like that's the reason like I'll still like get McDonald's every so often yeah not because I enjoy the taste yeah but because I know the cruelty involved with it yeah like look I don't care it took like 40 different cows to make my double cheeseburger yeah in fact knowing that

makes it taste more homogenous and better even people don't have the stomach for it though they just don't anything cries they're like ah and then everyone tries to make fun of that crying thing because they can't stomach it. Chris the Kiwi says,

I'm in the black shirt. Watch this entire clip. Okay. Instant, yes. Let's see what we got here. How is Chris the Kiwi always appearing on things? Okay, this is called Impact. Which political party has your...

Impact news. This must be an Australian news show. And he's right there. front and center what's missing in Australian politics Queenslanders speak their minds number one Chris the Kiwi

okay the trust one nation none of them I would probably say the Labor Party at the moment none Greens

I would consider myself nonpartisan largely but I vote Labor usually how would you describe PM Albanese he sucks just as much as LNP and One Nation

we could have better okay so the the weird gender fluid girl has already mentioned the political party that Chris the Kiwi's full-throatedly endorsed

one nation I heard that I'm gonna say probably probably fascist part just you know nation one

okay those are two things liberals liberals don't usually uh evoke those sorts of imagery one ornation. It's like multi global. That's what they're more into. A little bit inactive at the moment

with what he's doing. I think, yeah, obviously, a lot of room for improvement but it could always be better. I've sort of been disconnected from politics, if I'm being honest, for years now. Like, I'm 40, and I'm severely dissolutioned. I don't think any of them are genuine. I don't think any of them really care.

What is missing in Australian politics? Accountability. More accountability. Morality. Thinking about Australia more. Here we go. Thinking about putting the country before other people. Probably younger.

Now he said watch to the end. Remember that? Okay. People, to be honest. There's a lot of people you don't relate to, like a lot of older. And I feel like even in America, even other countries, you don't really see the next generation come through. General action, I don't think that, you know,

I guess you look at other places like Mom Darnie, you know, and there's things happening and nothing really happens. I think leadership And also I hope Albanese doesn't get elected again Which political party has your trust? One nation

None An Albanese Is that what he said? I think so, yeah Was that a guy or Is it an Albanian? Albanese

Albanese Albanese Uh Australian election Albanyese I don't know oh it's

oh it's that guy it's a guy Anthony Albanese claimed victory is the first Australian yeah okay so that's he's talking about a specific man wow it's a pretty

what is the one nation party about one nation Australia let's see bigger question It switch. Okay, far right political party. Okay.

They seem legitimate. Oh, okay. Well, a totally normal interview for him then. Shockingly, yeah. Yeah. Gondolas says, woman alert. Okay. Woman alert.

Woman alert. Uh-oh Uh-oh This is a woman She's out of her car She's out of her car And the car is in neutral And it's uh

It's getting away from her Going across a Six Lane Street And a strip mall She's not Oh She doesn't Now it's come to rest.

Totally other... Okay, it's in drive, definitely. There she goes. Come on, you can do it. You can jump in from there. Come on. Oh no! Oh no!

Oh no! She's got right over! And there goes the car! Into a river. Look at her. Let me see that at the end again. She's trying to pull it back. She's trying to pull the...

You're not that fat. The instinct is correct, but... That fat. And she kind of gave up. Now she's waddling after it. She's yelling at it. She's like, you come back here right now. Did she need to get on that?

Oh, see lique, see lika, go? Now, it's going to enter, now, it's going to get to secure, now it, go for it. Yep, here we go. Okay, do it, do it, go for it. Now she's making a jump, she sees the river.

Oh, she missed the jump. She missed the jump, and it rained over her feet. Can you get run over by a car like that, and you're okay? Well, I'm just imagining the fucking phone call to whoever was next.

So I got run over by my own car and like fucking just whatever fucking she's gonna say is gonna be like how the fuck did this bitch end up some guys just settling in for a nice day of work

all right I got nothing to do today yeah and he's got to hear got nothing to do let me just fire up Claude get through some of these tickets I should never going to believe this Can you come pick me up at the hospital?

Watching your usage stay at zero. Um, Saucy Jacques. Look up Deidre Morley. Exactly three years to the day before Lindsay Clancy did what she did, she was a nurse who strangled her three kids while suffering postpartum depression. Everyone blamed her husband, too. found not guilty by reason of insanity

That lone juror saved us from the precedent This would have set making women even more crazy Without being held accountable Yeah, it's great It's really fucking great Darren says this has to be your ancestor This is from a museum in Detroit All right

Let's see Mm-hmm Okay What fuck is this? Well, clearly it's your ancestor, dude What the fuck kind of thing is this? Why is this exist? What the fuck is this?

Is this a woman? Is this an old... What kind of museum is this in Detroit? Why is it have little pink lips and a mustache? Why does it have my exact hairline and head and hair and mustache? It's like all those... The early, like Islamic, like, I think still Persian era. like paintings with like the elaborate mustaches and everything.

This is like a Mr. Spakadu moment. How did they get my likeness in ancient Peru or wherever this is? What does this say? Look at these little feet. What the fuck? How did other people have this hair on the top of their head, hairline? Who is this? Who is this artist?

It's exactly like me. It looks exactly. like me. Where is, I need a two camera setup. Let's see here. Okay. Wait, where's the other one?

We fucking got Maroo of the winter caves as a reference in 2026 before GTA still. God damn. Pace reference. Yeah. Okay. Where's me? Here's me. What the fuck?

It does. It looks exactly like me. That's fucked. All right. Thanks for sending that in, I guess. Why are you all dark today? Been in the sun this week. Have you really? Hollywood's been slow. I had to dig ditches. Oh, man. Community service?

Yeah, you know. Yeah, you know. Okay. Tim says we need to dick AI bonus episode. No, I think I covered AI today. I know it would be a week off of fat women. and Johnny bringing people shitting in martini shakers. That would be cool to get your take. Oh, did you, that, you remember that knife lady that we talked about last week?

Yeah. Ryan Long, she was in a Ryan Long video. Wow. He came this close to being diced up himself by the Torda. This is a picture of her before and after. This is 10 years in Torda time. Holy shit. Latina time, man.

She's a young Salinas on this one, and then 10 years later. She's the whole town of Salinas. Wow, she's the whole town of Salinas. Yeah. All right. They age like fucking computers, man.

Mexican women? Very quickly. Yeah, you got Eniac up there. I'm fucking... Now she fills a whole room. Whoa! It's a computer. old

busted why is this computer so big one minute that is how the Mexican women work one minute you're bringing out your new Super Nintendo

and then like you're digging through a box like whoa look at the size of this yeah old busted ass super Nintendo look at all these bugs in here

this 32X look at the size of it Jesus ooh okay maybe we could do I see voicemails what time is it

150 yeah Let's get along with males. Um, I got some fat watch too. I'll save those. Save them. Patreon.com slash The Dick Show. See you next week.

Carl is... Is Carl going to be back on Biggest Problem? I need to know, because if Carl's back, I'll watch it. Yeah. If Carl's not back, I won't watch it. Vito should get Carl on. Yeah. But then he himself back out of it.

So it's just Carl. doing the show by himself. Yeah, that would be good. I would watch that. Carl should do it. Or I'll just watch Riley watch it. That seems to be the best way. That's the best way to consume the biggest problem is watch Riley watch it.

Oh, did I close my voicemail? All right, here we go. Hey, Dick, I'm calling from North Carolina. I wanted to just know if you would ever do a show with Nick. I don't even know if that could really happen. I don't know if you guys have like the same kind of pull, but that would be really sick to see. Nick who? And also, I want to hear you talk about some of the AI stuff going on with all of this anthropic. I guess maybe people do want to hear about AI.

I think I as a kid, I took for granted that the adults, charge knew what they're doing and talking about even when they're wrong. But now I think I'm a little too old to be keeping assuming that. Yeah. Nobody has any fucking idea. Nobody has any idea how it works. The people who, the people who are right to distrust

the government and the corporations involved don't know how the technology works. So they're just floating around, they're just floating around in space with no foothold on anything. Like, I know that you guys, I know that one of you guys bought kids. So you can play family with your gay

husband, you purchase children. So I know you're bad. But I don't have like the, I don't have the knowledge of how the system works. And I don't have like, like, I'm not a fucking AI expert, but I know the limitations of the model. It's the, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it has a diminishing utility, you call it. Um, the more, the more work you put into it, the more, the more money, the more power you put into training the models. Um, the more expensive it is.

The more precision you want, the more expensive it is. So you have to move, you have to innovate something that will put you on a different curve, on a different difficulty curve. If you're on one difficulty curve with existing technology and data, you have to spend more and more and more and more to get there. More, more, more, more, more, more, way more, more, more, more, for to get tiny little gains. Everybody understands that.

That's like a natural part of existence, you know, that concept. So you have to come up with something that changes the curve. But if you don't come up with something that changes the curve, you're fucked. You can't innovate anymore. And most importantly, if you come up with something that changes the curve, everybody benefits from that new curve. So your previous models will be easier to you. It doesn't take $2 billion to train the old model anymore because you change the curve. Now it takes $100 bucks.

that's what that's the that's the that's why they now want that's not that's why they want regulatory protection now so they're going to say okay models are so these AI is so dangerous that you need to have you need to pay

a you need to pay a consortium to come in and inspect your AI to make sure your AI is not going to rape anybody and that costs 10 and that costs a million dollars that's what they did with that's the same thing every lobby does it's the same It's the same thing that the beef lobby did.

They say, you know what? Every cow needs a tracking device. We had too much mad cow. Every cow now needs this elaborate e-tagging system that costs a fortune. So now small farmers can't afford it because they can't distribute the prices out. So there goes all the small farms. That's what they want to do with AI. Just get rid of all the small competitors who come around so they can say,

ah, that's all that AI that you're doing? It's not, it doesn't meet regulations. So it's illegal. You can't do it at home You can't do it You know you can't your startup can't run Fable A Fable class thing

In four months It's just totally fucked It's totally fucked And they've done it to everything Every single time we get a good technology These fucking Chislers come in The Chislers, man Quit eating with chislers at Sizzler

Man Yeah Quit eating with the chislers At Sizzlers Hey Dick Hey Johnny This is a vinyl sighting retard here. All right. And I know there's an old topic, but I'm totally with you on the,

uh, this VA disability thing to see some, uh, um, trunes that are getting four or five grand out of the government so that they can finance their, uh, polycule or whatever's. Uh, not surprising coming from a veteran. And I always thought it was pretty pathetic. And even friends of mine who encouraged me to get on it. Yeah. I can make my own money. I work 55 hours a week, but I can make my own money. Yeah, but you should.

You should just take it. Then my property taxes went up $300 a month and found out we got to put a French drain around the house. La-di-da. Gay drain. Guess who's filing for VA disability? Go fuck yourself, boys. Yeah, you have to.

You have to take any free money because you're really fucking yourself. It's not about, if you don't take free money that the government's giving out, it's not that you're not taking a handout it's that you're also punishing yourself because the free money that's out there is compounding every other problem you're now you now live in a system where you're um opting out of money that's intended to be floating around in the system if everybody gets a hundred bucks it's not that they all got a hundred bucks it's now everything's 100 bucks

worth more expensive. So you're penalizing yourself. In addition to not taking the free money, you're also penalizing yourself. It's just, it's crazy. It's not worth it. I mean, it's a vice. Whatever, whatever that impulse is in you, I'm sure it feels good, but You should go file for FAFSA just out of the love

of the game. Yeah, yeah. You got to get rid of that. That's pride. That's your pride. talking. Yeah. That's pride is of sin for this reason. Uh, it's, it takes you to bad places of, of self-punishment. Uh, okay. Well, hello there, Dick. It's Hink Hill. I would like to speak on my Texas longhorns from yesterday. I don't know if you were aware, but we entered the fourth quarter down 23 to 1. There wasn't 23 to, it was 23 to 3. It was 23 to 3. I'm. I'm sorry. Well, anyways, my Texas longhorns ended up beating the Buckeyes by one point.

Got 21 points to zero in the fourth quarter. Now, that's a fourth quarter, I'll tell you what. And I heard your boy from L.A., Miles Garrett got hurt. What a fuck. Well, what a day for football it's been, got dang it. All right. Thanks. Hank Hill.

I have to apologize, dick, for leaving you that fuck-ass long voicemail. But I also have to apologize for doubting you. As it turns out, if you do just go and start throwing out, hey, I like your shoes, like singles in a strip club. That shit works. Yeah. I apologize. Oh, you don't believe me? Stupid.

You can do it in front of chicks. You've already done it to. They don't say shit. And it'll work. Give it two or three hours. What do you think they talk about? New interesting things all the time. America's wing name.

He knows what he's talking about. I promise not to leave any more fuck-ass. Three-man voice mails. Do you think it cured that guy's autism? Or I'm drunk. Aquaman. Go, Dodgers. Well, because usually people who leave voicemails or emails

along these lines. Yeah, I'll say they're autistic. Yeah. Yeah. Let's see if we got any more calls from Aquaman. We didn't. Damn it. Do you think he drowned? Should we send those fucking boat out? Explaining something? Is feminism the biggest mistake of all time? And are women just straight up evil?

Yes. I can't believe these Clancy Trial fucking pink women that they're supporting. And then you look into like serial killers from the 80s that all had legions of women and go and look up the yellow pages, find out where the guy is, write a letter by hand, go to the post office. Not two or three, hundreds of women. Like, what are we, I've got a complex now. I don't know.

I'm afraid of, like, women now. Because they'll kill you. And cut your penis off. The old guy on the jury with black. It's the best part. It's the best part. I think I take back 50% of my, 25% of my racist comments in the past.

I want to tear down the George Floyd statues and put up statues of him. He's an actual hero, yeah. He's a hero. Yeah, man, they don't know good and evil. They do not operate on the same spectrum of good and evil as you and on. Indian names at work. It's so funny, right? I was on this work call with a couple Indian guys, a couple of American guys.

one of the Indian guys his name was spelled J-I-G-A-R and I'm like this is a little too close to another word I know so I'm mentally preparing myself

you know like where I'm going to put the accent when I call him this guy I'm going to say jigar I don't want it to sound like anything else Higger say jigger when the other American guys calls on this guy

and he's just dropping the hard are. It's like, hey, sugar. And I'm like, whoa, whoa, whoa, what are we calling this guy? But, yeah, that's what he went by. And, you know, fortunately, I didn't have to talk to him, but it was too close. That's close. The last name was, I kid you not, dick shit.

I know. What? And no one would acknowledge it. Like, every time they had this guy in a call, they all called him by his first name. Any time there was a presentation or something talking. about different people. You know, they'd call, you know, like Bob Jones, Kelly Smith, and then they would call this guy's first name only, like Sundar or whatever.

And we got Sundar. No one ever acknowledged that this guy's last name was Dick Shit. His name was his name. I was, like, on the Slack, on the email, Dick Shit. Like, hilarious. So many hilarious. You're nodding. Like, you know this.

Oh, yeah. You know a dick shit. I've encountered a few of them. It's like D-I-K. Dick shit. Yeah. It's such a crazy, yeah, because I remember coming across some applications like that, and I was like, you got to be fucking kidding me.

Dick shit. Dick shit. Shit's saying balls? Like, D-I-K? Yeah. Oh, wow. You know, the first compliment I ever got from a girl, like a pretty girl, was, hey, you look good holding that beer.

that bitch made me an alcoholic The qualifier That was That was beautiful You know The first compliment I ever got from a girl Like a pretty girl Pretty girl

I mean you Yeah You know Got plenty of compliments from ugly girls No one fucking cares But pretty girl He had to make sure That we knew

You guys know what I'm talking about Everybody's on the same page here, right? Compliment I ever got from a girl. Oh, like a pretty girl. Hey, you look good holding that beer. That bitch made me an alcoholic. We probably did. She probably did that fucking bitch.

Hey, I'm reading my copy of Superkillers right now. Really glad I bought it. It was fun for the first, you know, purchase as a joke, but it's even better actually having it my hands and reading it. Yeah. Anyways,

I see Vito was wearing an aw-hell-na shirt. I went to the dick shot looking for that shirt, and it's not there. Is that something we can remedy? Wait, what's the, what's the, oh, hell-naw? That's hilarious. It's funny that you as a pirate. It's of me as a pirate? Probably, yeah.

Is it really? There's that picture of Ray Ray-Roe of you that's saying, oh-hell-naw. And I think that's the one. That's fucking hilarious if he just put that on his store. Uh, I don't see it. Oh no, I think they added that in the comic, maybe. I haven't actually fucking read my three copies yet.

Sell? Can we sell it? Can I put it on a t-shirt? Can I make a buck out of it? Can I make a buck out of that thing that you got there? It's a fucking banana breath fucking bit from I think you should leave all over again. All right. Oh, shit.

Here we go. All right. So this first one, man, we got a real badass on our hands here. Okay. Oh, boy. It's a good big girl. It's time to kick today's ass and take names later. Screw the haters, ignore the doubters, and show the world what you're made of.

Today is your... Cockadoodle do motherfucker. It's a big fat woman. Screw the haters. Ignore the doubters and show the world what you're made of. Staring at the camera with those SSRI eyes. Like your local like CVS employee or whatever. Trundling out of the liquor, the beer.

Storage, the backstorage. It's pretty tragic. All right. So this is a cold stone stutter. We all know the stone cold stutter. Already she's fat. He's wearing a dress over a t-shirt. It's got glasses on, screaming a quirk chunga scream.

Mm-hmm. A war cry. Yeah, running is it, ruining a good thing before it even begins. It ain't easy being a... G-C? Is that her name? Yeah, I guess so. She broke the bed. She broke the fucking hotel bed. Broke the hotel bed.

Those are like built into the building. the foundation cracking first and last bed she ever jumped on right yeah no more monkeys jumping on the bed

dude or in this case fucking silverbacker it does like Jesus Christ you can hear it turned to kindling underneath

oh no why is she wearing a dress over a t-shirt god why does she own a dress like this oh no there's so many questions

and no answers she do? Is it all just like fat bloopers? I think she's homeless or some shit. Okay, making rice. Hey, we're looking back to Trissa tries while I try to make rice and teach you guys that even the homeless wash their fucking rice. So she's homeless?

As I wash fucking rice. Make sure you have cold water. If it's hot or warm, you can cook your fucking rice while you're washing it. Is this in the same motel? I don't have a measuring cup, so I just measured to this line right here, that's good. Now I'm gonna wash for days. Once the rice is covered,

get your hands in there and just start. Washing away. Playing with her fucking food, man. It's just look at a milk. It's like milk. It's literally rice milk. Are we at, do we have enough cooking videos?

More water? We regulate that. We should probably get like a few more cooking videos in at least. A couple more, yeah. Seven times, you guys, is what I use. Not enough videos on how to cook you rice. This shit ain't clean. There's pesticides.

There's germs. People wipe their ass in it. Oh, God. Okay. Let's see what else this lady's doing. I think she, yeah, she's homeless. Well, no, I see why? She busted all her home, jumping around.

Yeah, she's like a fucking hermit crab looking for a new larger shell, dude. Busted her bed, jumping on it. Welcome back to another episode of Will here, won't he? Clearly we know what it is. I can't with you guys. Do you think she uses that dog to clean her ass crack? I'm not kidding.

So as you see, this is Blue Delights. The filet mignon. She's guaranteed eating one of those. Dog food. I guarantee she's fucking eating dog food. Oh my gosh. What flavor is it? Bro, she's got like opened dog food packets in her car.

What? What? How are you homeless in this fat? I fucking want this. That's what I'm saying. This little shit turned. She's eating with a fucking, It looks like a hotel room key card

It is, yeah Oh, instead of a spoon Mm-hmm Somebody take that dog And the dog's eating off the card I want to see her Take a little rip off that too Oh my god

This is depraved It's sick You know she eats that shit, dude Homeless Southwest mac and cheese So many people are concerned How I can be 700 pounds Yeah Yeah, I am

I want to enjoy one last night Being able to cook Before not having a place to stay for it I don't know how long Can't you just like make friends Do you have to be this amped up all the time Like can you just chill out No

And relax and say like Can I just please sleep in a spare room Like I'm not gonna be annoying all day I'm just gonna be chill I'll wash dishes like it made I'm not gonna talk about everything I fucking do God It's gonna be a one pot

Mac and cheese But it's only because I have one pot It's just rather be homeless Yeah Because you can't stop talking Add the pork to the onions How did you get all this shit? On sale at Target

Still going to Target Still going to Target Still going to Target Oh it smells awesome Boom What did I think I bought pork? I did

did I technically buy part? That's not going to make you 700 pounds though, honey. Yeah. All right. That's enough of that fat homeless woman. Well, if that was too much, here's look before you leap. Okay.

These are always a good setup. Mm-hmm. It's two Indians. One is about to run and jump on something. And he's jumped right onto a... Burr. What do they call those? Like a...

shallow area. Dirt. Pile. Feet first. Legs are definitely broken. Ten feet onto a sandbank. How do I tell my son not to do shit like this? If it looks like an Indian would do it, don't do it.

If you could imagine an Indian doing this on a reel, don't do it. So this is Apple's latest keynote. I couldn't remember if I brought this guy in or not. Oh, God, what is this fucking weirdo? Go ahead and unmute and we'll see. impairment, he said, a voice impairment. I don't think that's correct. That's for everyone listening with the Atmos in their car.

I understand why they gave Stephen Hawking the little calculator. The little calculator voice, yeah. Because, man. Because he wouldn't get any pussy if he didn't have the robot. Sound like this guy. Why don't you get yourself the Stephen Hawking thing, man? Yeah. Maybe he doesn't know how to type.

He doesn't think gotten that far. It's... Nader Tom. Fox is his name. Yeah, that's the darkest part, perhaps. And he's got just a bunch of videos talking. Well, he's got 18 videos. Green lanterns, all right.

This is what everyone sounds like to me talking about lanterns. I feel like Steve Harvey Brow Rout. Looks like Frocktony. When's this guy going to call in? We need the interview. Okay, Zelda, what are you going to say about Zelda?

Okay. Okay. God, I miss the last little, man. Man. Remnants of it. I would always be out in one picture. Dude, some of those were fucking vicious

I'd be like, man, you can't start with a banger. Like, what do you mean? There's a whole thread after this. Like, fuck. There's one. There was one,

you laugh, you lose. And the first picture was it was a meme of the picture said it was like a pretend conversation with two guys.

And it was, you laugh, you lose. And these gangster guys said, oh, I never laugh at those. And then it goes back to you there again and goes, okay, well, in the first picture, and then it cuts back in their party laughing. That was the worst

I ever did. I never laughed at those. Okay, well, in the first picture. Okay. Goodbye. See, everybody.