The Dick Show - Episode 56 - Dick on Crosswords

Episode Date: June 27, 2017

Sunburns, all-night crossword puzzles, eating things off the ground, the Dalai Lama, non-specificity, the world's oldest millennial, an inexhaustible desire to do things, cast-a-net cat calls, Tim Pool's beanie, kiss-the-ring journalism, The Buffalo Bills, horn-o-phobia, craft beer snobs, trophies, nighttime birds, what Sean doesn't agree on, the Chicken McNuggets eating contest, and Jamie Lynn Hughes reads the news; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!

Yeah Welcome to deck you need deck Dick, you want Dick? You love Dick! You got it, it's the show! Where everything is a contest coming to you live from a concrete bunker in the side of a mountain! I am your host, Dick! Master sin!

With me as always, most of the time is Sean the audio engineer. host, Dick Masterson. With me is always most of the time as Sean the audio engineer. Hello, Dick. Hey, what's up, buddy? Real smoothly this last week with you here. I gotta tell you that. Yeah, yeah, you really did a really fantastic job with that.

Thank you very much for making this show run like the greased train full of Godson shit that it is. I'm suddenly very Flaming you know, it's like a you know like when you when you drop a bag of poop on someone's doorstep and it's flaming And you do it because they they their instinct is to stop on it and put it out, right? That's why that joke works. That's why the joke works. That's why the joke, because it's got that afterburn that a sick person did this, who took advantage of it.

That's what this show is, except it's the size of a train. You understand? The show is getting so big that real people are getting fucked with now. You understand? Real people in the real world, journalists like Tim Poole, Kirk, Ike and Wald, they are, this show is now provoking the narrative, Sean. People can't get away with bullshit anymore because of this show. You understand?

Yeah. Because there's thousands of dickheads that will come out and call you out Because we all because that's what me and this show is all about You see something you call it out immediately you get right in their face You know what I'm saying I do I started this is to thank you For the good job that you did, but I don't know how to express that. Yeah. Well, just immediately turned into self aggrandizing and anger about how the world is fucked about the world. I'll take it in the spirit in which it was intended. You have to, Sean, you have to take it like that because I don't have any other way of

doing this. Okay. With us this week is a guest news, babe long long time listener Jamie liby is Who's the longest I think so yeah you I remember you emailed me back in back in men are better than women days Yeah, wow and I said my first thought was ah this is this is a scam This is a scam to somehow get a picture of my penis. Right. Because that, it's just like the flaming back thing. That's what I, because this, let me, this woman is so beautiful

that the heart rate today, my heart rate monitor that I'm always wearing on camera, today it's just measuring that. Usually it's measuring how upset I am. Right. Today the reason my heart is going crazy is because of Jamie Lin-Yews. You're, what are you, Miss Bikini universe?

Second place. Second. Second flight. Oh, get that out of there. We'll cut that out. Psycho now, it's like more shoes and hand grenades and Miss Bikini contest. Yeah, close enough, close enough.

But everything is a contest and I have not one. You never won that one. No, no, no. I've gotten second place, five times. They're not on the dick show. Five times. Five. Five time running up That's like the Buffalo Bills of bikini out. We were just talking about that

Are you known for being the Buffalo Bills of the bikini world? No, uh, you want that nickname? I know I think I prefer the other one which is doose. Yeah, doose sounds cool though. I think it's gonna be Buffalo Yeah, do do sounds cool though. I think it's gonna be Buffalo No, I just got this but not Buffalo bill. No The nickname work get the hoes it sounds close someone hates it then it's there Yeah, I know okay, so bill how do you? How does one train how does one train for a bikini? This is why people don't come back to the show. I know, no. Cause they just listen.

I'm just turning into this is rip into people. I'm not going on that show. I wanna go on a show where it's just two guys jerking each other off, both giving each other reach arounds. It's like the YouTube generation, the YouTube celebrities that exist now, that's all they do, they cross promote,

they go on each other's shows, and they jerk each other off like they each got four hands. They got two on the cock, one on the balls, and one right up the ass. And it's like, hey, I can't believe this. They're all like Hindu gods. Yeah, Hindu gods are the whole homosexual, glad handing, right? Man.

Is that accurate? We don't want two hands. I don't think that's offensive to say. To say we all want two hands. Yeah, but that's so they listen to this show of our own or two hands, four hands being used on a four hand. I think that Hindu God had like eight on each side though. I think it was at least four on each side.

Ganesh. Yeah. What do you mean of Ganesh? And all about that. Bunti King was supposed to be here, but he canceled because he had other shit to do. Family emergency. I had no, he had to do work, so I don't know. Wow.

I think it's probably too bad. I like cross promotion. I had, yeah, maybe he had some cross promotions. I don't know. You think it was a cross promotion? Yeah. I think that becomes the job though, doesn't it? Cross promoting. Just to follow your line of thinking. That seems like kind of like what it know. I think that becomes the job though, doesn't it? Cross promoting.

Just to follow your line of thinking, that seems like kind of like what it is. It's like, at some point you get known enough to where you don't even create content, you just go on and like talk about how great you're known. Yeah, how great the other guy is. Yeah, man, the idea that like, I think maybe just, you and I's generation is maybe the last people to think this,

that this bitter feeling that nowadays people are famous just for being famous. Yeah, that is the future. There will never be another. Like people are asking me, oh, who's that guy? I'm, you know, I don't know. I just, he's got a little checkmark by his Twitter so that I know he's verified. He's verified by people that who I wish I was verified by. Yeah, that's it. I try to get verified. He's verified by people who I wish I was verified by. Yeah, that's it. I tried to get verified. You tried to get verified. You get second place and verifying.

What happened? I didn't. They sent me a... She got bona fide. She got bona fide. She got a verify. I got a... We're playing South, right?

I got a thanks for the interest email. Oh, thanks for the interest. Oh, what a fuck you. That's from Twitter. Yeah, isn't that? Mm-hmm. You're, wait, where are you from? What's, what was that state you said you were?

Texas. You heard of it at the South, Sean. You got bona fide. Texas. What, Texas? And then there's not Texas. Texas is a South. These South, yes.

Yeah. Capital T. Texas is just Texas, man. You can't be saying that shit if you're not Texas. Texas is a self. These south, yes. Capital T. Texas is just Texas, man. You can't be saying that shit if you're in Texas. You can't be making opinions about Texas. They'll run you right out of town. Unless it's a good opinion. Yeah, even then, not good enough. You got a love Texas.

I wish I was Texas. I'm gonna go outside and carve a divot out of the ground and fucking, I love this. If I love fucking, I love love I literally fucking love Texas. I love fucking Texas. That's how I that's how I roll if I were to ever go to Texas. You know, that's a joke, but I'm sure somebody has actually done that. Oh, what I was saying was a joke.

I'm dead serious. I'll fuck Texas. Anyway, anyway, thanks for coming in. Thanks for having me. Yeah. I'll tell you what makes me rage that I, sunburns. What kind of God curses us with skin, the basic requirement of life. And we have to, and it's pain. It's constant pain, a sunburn. I've got a sunburn, I shit you not, on the back of my knees right now.

I hate that. I just, it's so fun. It's like I was wearing feet. Topsy your knees, back your knees. Back your knees is the worst though. I usually get the sunburn on like my fat handles on the back because I can't reach because my upper body, Jamie, you're a body builder.

So you can verify everything that I'm saying, but my upper body is so muscular that I can't reach many places in my body. Like I can't reach the back of my neck very well. I can't reach the back of my own back well. I can't reach the back of my own back. It's very difficult for me to tie my shoes without groaning or doing one of these sideways moves. I can't wash your back.

You just like, you got some soap on the wall. I just, I don't wash my back. And any guy who says he washes his back is a liar. Sean, you don't wash your back to me. I can't reach it. You can't reach it, man. Every once in a while, I'll just squirt a bunch of can't reach it. You can't reach it, man. Every once in a while, just squirted one.

Shhh, poo all over it. You gotta go on those lupus and those dick. I'm not using a stick. No, that's what a fat man does. I'm not using a stick in my shower to wash my back. Just go out front and find a fucking tree. Just rub up against it. Like blue.

Just, yeah. Just like clean your back? What do you know? That's a good, that's a scratch your back. You do a pint layer of skin off. You do a pint. Right. Can I get that soap? Get that layer of skin off.

That's all you need. You end up being like Tommy Boy, then. Your freshness is all over you. Sunburns man, proof that there's, proof that none of this was designed intelligently. My dad should have brought that in when he was talking about religion two weeks ago. The sunburned, sunburn is proof that there's no God. The fact that it just sits there and just shoots radiation

at you. No other animal gets that. Do sunburn? Yeah, does a dog get a sunburn? They can get sunburn, sure. Really? Yes. Where?

On the tongue. No, where on their body is a dog getting sunburned? It's on their skin. Yeah, it's on their skin. It's on their skin. It's on their skin. It's on their skin. It's on their tongue. No, where on their body is a dog getting sunburn? Oh my god. On their skin. Yeah, they're scared of sunburn. They can't get a skin. What about a horse then? Can a horse get a sunburn?

Who cares about horses? No, only it's something that happens. I hope they all like to die of skin cancer. Wow. Wow. Horses. Horses are stupid. They're dumb animals.

I've said this before. Horses are so shitty, that's why we had to make mules. What the hell is that? That is true, though. It's true. Why? Why? Because horses are temperamental. They're the ultimate prey animal. They think everything that's prey. Yeah, that's stick. They'll kick you right in your fucking face. They can't take a horse down. They think everything. Yeah, they think everything is out to get them. Like just that stick on the ground. probably a snake, I better flip out. Just like, oh, I'm out of here.

They break their leg, nothing ever fucking heals on them. It's like they're just, oh yeah, you gotta shoot it. The universe wants them dead. They get so many cars. Courses are proof that there's a God, Sean. Cause they're like a car that you just have, you don't have to pay insurance on a horse.

And it can take you all the same places the cars go. You know, he's growing up, we're just talking about how we found proof of the devil a couple minutes ago Because Because Chris is trading pants and the trading short shorts because we're looking at photos of celebrities who've had worked Then yeah, and we found photos of Christy Brinkley and she's like 64 and she looks like she has sold her soul to the devil. Jamie, I hope that your news articles that you bring in today are not so focused on celebrity plastic surgery.

No, no, no, because no one's gotten any work done recently. So I would have checked. Yeah. Sunburns, Sean, right on the back of my knees, man, yeah, that's a. And I was, I was totally abandoned by these two. One Jamie and one 80s girl. I had had, here's what else makes me rage too. It's women's unsatisfiable, inexhaustible desire.

This bottomless pit that they have of the ability to do shit. It's endless. that they have of the ability to do shit. It's endless. You can just fill it up. You can just take shit and fill up that whole all day every day. Yeah, going to the beach, yep, going to a show, yep. Watching a thing and taking a walk, going to a museum, taking the subway, going to a show, like I'm like a fuck, every man in the world is every man in the world

Is this with every woman they know it's just an endless an endless in inferno An endless fire where you are just a bottomless hole. Yeah, where you're shoveling in shit shovel it shit to do a shit burning of And you're shoveling in the fucking hole with no regard with no was it fun? Yeah, it's great. Do you want what do you want? I could do it. And let's show him.

I don't know what they get out of it. Wait, who's asking who those questions? All I'm asking them. What do you feel like doing? I could do. I could do this. I don't know if they said sure, huh? It is because you said sure. I fucking hate sure. That's because I said sure, huh? It is because you said sure.

I fucking hate sure. I fucking whenever I hear the word sure. I have like a fantasy in my mind. I'm siesta now. Don't make me do the work for you. It's yes or no. Give me a yes or no. Now I gotta read your fucking mind with sure. How happy are you about it?

Sure. You want the antidote to the poison you just drink, Dr. John's sure. Ah, you motherfucker, I'm gonna give it to you anyway cause I know it's yes, I know why you said that. Never, never, never say sure, never. You know what I'm talking about, Sean? I'm watching your heart rate go down

cause I'm letting it out. This is why I stop this cause everyone will just watch the cells on video. You know what I'm talking about, Sean? I'm watching your heart rate go down. Cause I'm letting it out. That is. This is why I stopped this, cause everyone will just watch themselves on video. I just want to see the heart rate. The heart rate's a cool 100. Cause I've been doing shit all weekend, Sean, and getting my exercise in.

I was up, I was up when Jamie first got here, and when was that?, Friday, Sunday, today for those of you who are not big swinging dicks on patreon.com slash the dick show, where if you pay 20 bucks, you get to see the live stream, the live stream is we do it, where we usually have like a 15 minute pre show. It's true of shit like this. We usually just below all the fucking wad like it's our like it's our first time I just come in and go blow it all over the desk. Yep. I'm over here mixing drinks before the show talking about

lotion and UPS men. Yeah talking about making up making up bullshit about UPS men delivering me masturbating lotion. Yeah. That I don't even talk about on the show because it's too embarrassing. Yeah. That I've got it on a subscription, right? Oh wait, I would never talk about that. I would never talk about that shit on the show. Did you hear me that nickname before the show? No, Buffalo Bill, you got on the show. No, I'm sorry, darling.

Why can't I get a cute name like 80s girl? Because she didn't ask for it. But I didn't either. Yeah. Bill. William. Bill. William. either. Yeah. Bill. Bill. William.

William. Before the show. Mixing drinks. Oh, shit. Mixing drinks. Why was I talking? Oh, yeah. Because this is why both of those, the tag team of sunburns and chicks, what do you call that?

Unsatisfiable desire to do, you know, men are like, just want endless conquest. You know what I mean? Anything, anything that I want I want two or three of. Like I just said, I want that car. I wanted a, I've wanted my whole life. I just wanted a house with a bunker in it to scream into and a crawl space. That's it, that's all I wanted. My now that I got it and podcasting in it.

It's not good enough. I want two of them. I know. I want two of them now, Sean. That's a man. Fill the hole. That's all, I just want more. It's the chicks are the same way.

Just while we're at the beach, where do you wanna go? It's like two like going to an ice or beach. Yeah Why do you want that I can't understand why can't you just why can't you'd be happy with just doing absolutely nothing like me All day every difference just face down in the sand all I want to do we'll get to that The only thing I want to do is nothing is nothing. I don't want to do shit Uh-huh And now that I've explained that to you, you've ruined it. Now, now not even doing nothing is enough nothing.

Because now that I've just told you it, you've made it, you've turned the nothing into something. Oh, sorry. Now, no, I apologize to you. Yeah. Because I did it, we just do it to each other. So, Buffalo Bill comes into town. Oh, God.

On Friday. That's what second place gets though. Oh my God. You know, I guess so. Your first, your number one. Yeah, second place number two. And I took the initiative to, we were all having a little, you know,

almost celebration. A's girls have summer starting for her so. Oh yeah. For the next six or eight weeks she gets to live like a normal human staying up until. Not after she wants to deal with these fucking mental deficient. Not getting up to go. In complete little baby sick. Subhuman call to some children. Yeah. Where When it's been proven that academic, so early improved 10% by different schools, I don't know if anybody knew that, but that was just proven recently. I just throw that in there.

I'm not surprised, you know, though. What's that that it doesn't? That school, the goodness of your school only counts for 10% of your, education, of your academic excellence, of your increase in your scholastic abilities throughout life. I mean, the very worst. I'm surprised it's that much.

Based on a, I didn't think I asked or, I don't know, I didn't ask. I just read the headline of this one. Yeah, so from like, I'm saying to me and I was like, yeah, yeah, that's good ammo. That's good ammo. Like the worst public scroll to the best private school. I'm not surprised. Yeah, I'm not surprised. It gets to live a normal life though. Yeah. So we're celebrating this. And I thought, hey, you know, I'm just gonna stay up all night doing some crossword puzzles. Cause I am 70 years old and I got this really great crossword puzzle book where it's like four letters across. What does the

wind do? Yeah, yeah, okay. Blow, right? Yeah. But I always say I'm just going to do one of the crossword puzzles, but then there's so much fucking fun that I end up staying up till like four in the morning doing these goddamn crossword, but I was, John, I'm like, ah, that was, that was just so in gate. That was the funnest and smartest goddamn thing I've ever felt or done in my whole life. I'm going to do what's the next one? Oh, it's, um, famous second place finishes. Wait, who's, I've just going to be on this. No, no, no, it's no, it's like four letters down.

You know, you know nothing, John. Snow. Sean, get it. You get it when I'm talking about with the crossword puzzles that I'm doing? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Not Pepsi, but. Shasta. Nobody should ever have Pepsi. Shasta. Right should ever have Pepsi. Shasta. Right? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I got it. There's a reason I stopped doing these crossword puzzles too, because they take a whole day out of my life, man. Yeah. Like a literal day.

I know that you could be doing nothing. A day that I could be doing across. So, nothing I spend, not mentally prepared to manipulate my way out of doing a whole bunch of shit. And for some reason driven by this need to show that I'm a perfectly functioning member of society after I stayed up till six in the morning doing crossword puzzles. Yes, sign me up. You want to go to the beach? Yes, please get me my phone. I'm going to point my finger and you press you hold my arm up and press the Uber button So that it so that it arrives so that I can feel as though I've somehow done this Yeah, and I am walking like a goddamn

Revenant someone who thought you thought was dead Mm-hmm as I get I get I get in this Uber, I don't remember any of it. I don't remember a single fucking, this is, Sean, this is, I made myself a bloody Mary. It's Jamie, Jamie, you made the bloody. No, I did not make a bloody Mary. I made a red skipper.

What's a red skipper? I can't, you didn't know. No, it's the runner up to the bloody Mary or tomato based cocktails. Yeah, it's the runner up. Are you drinking all runner up? I guess so. I'm not talking about the show, I really like you,

but as soon as the show comes out, I'm like, oh, I guess they're ripping on it. It's fun. It's the second, it's the runner up to the Bloody Mary. Is the red skipper? Yeah, so everything that is supposed to be like a vodka drink that people drink nowadays started as gin And I thought you would know that well, what do you mean everything screw driver started with gin?

Probably I know my No, no martini and that's the thing people fuck that people think like a vodka martini is a martini Yeah, cuz it is it's good. Oh fuck gin That's why here's the thing that sucks about though, is it doesn't taste like anything. It tastes like sour. It tastes like alcohol. And so all it does is make whatever you're drinking, taste like a worse version of what you're drinking.

No, if I could taste like something. Like it tastes the difference between, like, come traca and Chopin. But it doesn't have like that. Is it a taste or a smoothness? Oh, Sean, it's all of the above. It's a taste. I'll take care of this.

No, I won't, I won't call bullshit on that. It's the mouth, the mouth feel. The mouth feel. I could, I could just lap it up like a dog and I could taste the truth. Without even swallowing. Good. That's gonna be my story when I run some politics.

Somebody make never drink a drink. I just taste them and spit them out into the spittoon. Somebody make thick one of those hudders that, one of those things that they put in like puppy kennels that has like a little like you lap at the thing. Wait, what what you know how like they like a drink bowl for a dog not not like a ball like one of those little things they they give water to rabbits in you know it's like a little straw yeah yeah yeah yeah you think I'm

gonna lick balls to get my liquor Sean is that what you're saying I don't know I can get that you're you set up like a puppy so I'm over there to impress Jamie. I don't do that. I'm just glad somebody's here. Why? I don't know, man. I was driving over here and I was like, I've been getting too much heat recently, right? With all the court shit, I've been making it too uncomfortable to me.

No, I've just like, God, I have to fucking wake up. I've just been dead all day. I didn't want to do anything. Oh, and then I'm always in the hottest girl in LA is here. Yeah, I'm like, oh shit, I'm awake all to do anything. Oh, and then the hottest girl in LA is here. Yeah, like, oh shit, I'm awake all the sudden. That never hurts. In LA now. At least second.

It's like it's like, at least you're at least, though, good. I'm gonna go to that well until nobody leaves like ever. Yeah. All right, go. So I'm exhausted. I mean, I'm, I cram into the back of the Uber like an ooze.

Like somebody cracked, like somebody said, I don't know on a Nickelodeon, and I just ooze right in like a lemongrab into the back seat like, oh my God, please just, please just drive the Uber into an avalanche of ice. Please, like, you know, I think all that talking with coach on the bonus episode, where I was

talking about being hungover and how it's like the greatest feeling in the world. Oh, I think I got, I think I started to believe my own bullshit on it. I decided to be the most hungover man ever on the earth by doing all these fucking crossword puzzles. So I ooze into this Uber. And it's the, by the way, it's a BET award this week. Thank you for messing up one of my new stories. Oh, I hope you had more than that. Good. I'm DDRing it.

Oh, you really? What category are you most excited about? Most on time. That's funny. I can't think of a black celebrity or I would say it was only three minutes late, early anyway. Steve Harvey. Denzel Washington. Other, other, other Denzel. I love Steve Harvey.

Do you? Yeah. Like, as a fucking asshole, man. Who are we to talk, Sean? We'd say that we gave this beautiful girl a horrible serial killer nickname, but a little better. We gave this beautiful girl a horrible serial killer nickname, Buffalo girl, making fun of her for being second in a contest that I couldn't train. If the devil said, you've got to win a bodybuilding contest

and you've got a thousand years to do it, or I'm going to kill you, I said, just kill me, dude. I'm not going to do it. And you'd be like, no, but that's my thing. I'm the devil. I like set people up and I got to go through the hole. And I'm like, I don't want to play my mother's to fuck dogs and you know, it's like all right Well, I got to kill you now. You're talking shit about my mom. Yeah, some of a bitch. Yeah, that's a different Charlie Daniels song

Right devil went over to the south right devil went over to the south He's like, hey, I bet a fiddle of gold against your soul like your mom's a whore, man That's Charlie Daniels just stops playing gives him extremely angry rant about me saying that the devil's mom It's a fiddle of rage Ha ha ha I feel bad making mom jokes. Yeah, yeah inappropriate anyway So I pour myself into this this Uber We get to the beach and I

Managed to to slither on to the sand with my beach towel. These girls immediately they put on music like you do with a toddler that can't sleep and immediately banded me So I'm just passed out in the beach with the beating son on my back forgot no one knows how long Could have been days Probably was a couple hours though. Yeah. I wake up and these two chuckleheads just come back, giggling up a storm. I'm like, oh, we just tried to get, we tried to get some food, but there was a sign that said, if we don't have shirts, we can't, no service. But even at the dumbest, I've ever, like I could have had half of my brain removed,

and I would have thought, that's not true. Darlings, all of everything here is built for what you are right now. You could go in there and get someone's car. You think you can't get a sandwich because a sign told you, what the hell are you talking about?

We had money too. Ah, you didn't really even need that. They needed dick to wake up and start talking some sense. But meanwhile, but I try to move. I got some, the backs of my knees feel like the butt ends of a loaf of bread. Oh, right now. Like the crappy, crusty piece. The backs of my fucking knees, Sean.

Do you know how much you need your knees? Yeah. Almost more normal people all the time, but me, a lot of times too, even though I try not to use my legs ever, I want to preserve them. Sometimes you want to sit on a chair. Need your knees, probably, you know. I can preserve them. Sometimes you wanna sit on a chair. Nijani is probably, you know. I can't, and of course I was wearing the shortest shorts

known to man for men. I might've been wearing my sister shorts. I every tell you the time I accidentally wore my sister shorts out to a bar. How the hell could you fit into those? I know, sister. Your sister is a twig. I don't know.

It happened. Yeah. So I'm wearing the shortest shorts. No, so now I don't even, I don't see how that could possibly happen. Well, me either. That's why I just, I was at, I was at her house, or I was at my parents' house, I think. And somebody said, yeah, just go, just go up into your sister's room and your sister's husband has some shorts, has some workout shorts in there.

So I go up there and just reach in and grab the like workout feeling shorts and put them on. I was like, wow, these are, these are pretty tight, but whatever. I feel like a funny asshole. This is really going to mess some people's minds up in Valencia, California. Dude going out with shorts this short. So I, we go out, wake up the next morning, slap those workout shorts, and I'm thinking I'm wearing

like a football player, man's workout shorts. I'm feeling pretty cool. Cause workout clothes, I think all men's clothes, they take a little bit of your soul with you, you know? Like if I would wear your V-neck shirt, Sean, I would feel a little bit like you. I would feel the need to compulsively interrupt stories to refine small, miniscule points. I'm just joking. What else am I hearing more?

But then we walked down stairs for breakfast the next day. And my dad goes, hey, those are your sister shorts. It's like, oh, your dad knew this. Yeah, it's like, well, you know what? Now that I look at them, you're seems almost unbelievable that I didn't know that because they have little slits on the side. But Sean, I was wearing these out all night. Like I went all several bars with these shorts and I thought I was getting looks because I was cool. Like, because chicks are like, damn, look at the fucking, that guy does not give a fuck.

He's wearing those tight ass 70s shorts. Look at the fucking, that guy does not give a fuck. He's wearing those tight ass 70s shorts. Look at the balls on that guy, but what they were really thinking was, I think that fucking guy's wearing a lady shorts. Yeah, it's probably what they were wearing on lady shorts. So, so because of the sunburn shit, because of having to appease these ladies, desires to do nonstopstop, non-stop action. If I don't know, I don't know what

it would take for me to want to do that many things. It's like a Christmas list. If I woke up out of like hibernation, I would just want to take it easy for a second, like before do like, oh, dick you been sleeping for a hundred years. You gotta go see, we got fine cars, we got three titted women. I feel like, all right, just let me, like, let me just, sit on, let me just take it easy for a second.

Let me sit up first. Yeah, let me sit up. Let me kind of check my emails. Oh, we don't have computers anymore. You gotta go, ah, never mind, never mind, never mind. Let me get a drink. What else makes me rage? Okay, how about this fucking guy?

How about guys? Guys who don't have cat calling guys who don't have the balls to, you know, like guys who cat call with a net. We're walking back from the beach and because of my week in state. Mm. Because I've got,

because I've got all these clues in my mind still from the night before. I've got all these crossword clues still floating around in my mind, Sean. Yeah. Really bamboozling me. It's making me weak. Other men start to pick up on this and they see me

walking with these two girls from the beach and this guy just goes, hey guys, it's fucking guy. This fucking guy on a balcony on the beach. I know it wasn't his balcony. You know, I could tell, I could tell that he did not work or make the decisions necessary in life for that. Did you get that impression, Jamie? No, I'm not sure. That he was just squatting there. I also thought that the name was probably Chad.

Chad. Oh, yeah. Mm-hmm, or Chad. Chad? He looked like a Chad or a Chad. You don't like those Chad? Yeah. Chad.

What kind of guy do you like? Let's see. What's your go-to? I just don't like Chad. You don't like Chad. What about Chad? What about Chad? What about Chad? What about Chad? What about Todd? I know what I don't like you don't like chance. What about classic women? What about Todd? I know what I don't like. Yeah, it's because you don't like anything.

Oh man. Todd. This guy just throws at a, hey, what's up guys? I was like, you know what? Why don't you guys? How about you girls just go walk straight to the car and I'm going to go party with this guy. Because he didn't specify.

He had nothing nice to say. If you're gonna cat call at least say something nice. You know, okay, look at the at least say something nice about a woman's body. Like your body's rocking. We did get a few of those. We had more balls. Eight's growing.

What the hell? You were paying attention. You were sleeping. No, you were with the hell? When you were paying attention. You were sleeping. No, you were with us. I'm not even paying attention right now because I'm trying to do crossword puzzles in my mind and thinking about crossword puzzles all the fucking time.

That's why this fucking guy, I want to just go up and jump over the balcony. And what's up, dude? You, you want a party? We party now. Or perhaps you have something nice to say about the lady that you were just shouting at instead of general greetings, which mean nothing. And we all know you don't mean you chicken shit.

How about anything, nice shoes, anything, nice, everything above the shoes. I love the highlights in your hair. Nice tank top. Specificity is. Specificity is the key to a cat call. It's the key to everything is specificity. Otherwise you get a drunk crossword puzzle out maniac. Just jumping over to your fence and saying, yeah, hey guys, I'm having a fucking great day too. Are there any crossword puzzles in here? Cause I really fucking need to do one right now. Right the fuck now. You know what else makes me rage? Night time birds.

Have you talked about this one yet? No, but there's always some brain dead bird, some asshole just singing his ass off at 230 in the morning. Who was like the black question to you? Yeah, like what do you work during the day? And you're just working on your single at night, you dumb prick with the black crows? No, I mean like the literal bird.

Not the band. Well, they're like, they say till noon and then like they're just like, John, that's very offensive. Oh, I thought you were talking about the band. No. So I like that band. Okay. Yeah, but we're talking about real birds. I know, thought you were talking about the band. No. So I liked that band. Okay.

Yeah. But we're talking about real birds. I know you were, but he was not. I thought we were talking about birds, but now I can't be sure of anything anymore. The worst. All fucking night. Summer now, so you gotta sleep with the doors open.

And there's always this one asshole who's out there all night. Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah. Like what the hell are you? Where, like what are you, the weird sicko an asshole who's out there all night. Ah, ah, ah, ah, in the animal kingdom. If you see this, this, this bird, it's got to be shut down by the other birds. Yeah. It's making too much fucking noise. Yeah. At night. How do you think water boy's life is like? Oh, well, he moved out. Oh, he did. Yeah, he moved out a couple weeks ago. Like literally a week and a half. Shortly after Maddox extorted him. Oh boy. Yeah.

He moved in with his girlfriend, I think. Ooh. I don't think any birds. I don't think I have like a lot of parents and stuff. Those things are usually quiet at night. You put a thing over there, put a towel over there, and put the band-hunt stuff there. Yeah.

I think I heard the same bird you must have been talking about. Just sound like Banjo Kazooie over there. Did it sound like a guy panting at your door? No. Because that was the bird that I heard right I'm making a very grass show I'm trying to save you Why would you save a guy who nicknamed you Buffalo Bill? Because I'm an idiot ending

Generosity sees you as a fixer upper That's the trick. That's what you need. He did kick the cat though. Did you kick the cat? Oh, come on, kick. It just helped her a lot. It helped her. I mean, what's a kick?

I don't know. I used my foot. It wasn't like a rocket. I was running out of all of boating the fucking cat. I like that you know what the radio city rockets are. Who doesn't know what the radio city rockets are? Most men. You know what the radio City Rockets are? Most men. You know what the Rockets are? Yeah, of course.

They're really. Everybody knows them. Jamie, who do you? I don't know. Maybe not the Texas. Real my show men. Yeah. Hey, you guys know, you ever heard the Rockets?

No. Yeah. They know who the Rangerettes are in Texas. I don't even know what Suckin Dick is because that's gay. That's two gay. I'm a man. Never even heard of it. Rockets. No. two gay. I'm a man. Never even heard of it. Rockettes, no.

All right. We're gonna kick very high though. The Rockettes don't kick very high. Maybe you'll kick higher than a Rockettes. Absolutely. Oh, I can you kick. They're like five foot seven though. Or five foot seven and a half.

They gotta be that tall. My nose, I can kick my nose. What's that? Four and a half feet off the ground. How tall is your nose? Well, I'm five, three and a quarter. So probably five foot or less. All right, be careful saying that. Stereo is going to challenge you to a kickoff. I'll win.

You know, second. Yeah. Yeah. And the contest between you and Stereo. What goes into a bodybuilding competition? I really wanna know. Cause it does seem like- A lot of drugs and surveys. If you told me to get to the moon, I think I could do that. I think I could.

I would take the know that I couldn't, but I don't think I could ever do a bodybuilding competition. You don't think so? No. Come on, Mia. Don't start with that, Mia, I should. I'm sorry. I bet Sean could do it. Fuck no. You don't think so? Don't start with that mean shit. To have it, I'm sorry.

I bet Sean could do it. Fuck no. You don't think so? I think he's girl could. Sean, no, I have no discipline whatsoever at the state. Come on, look at all your musicianship though. No discipline whatsoever. Yeah, no way.

What do you mean? Why, what do you think would be more like? Remember the ear word where you said, hey, let's run the LA City Marathon. Yeah, oh no. It took me half a second to go, nah. I was so pissed that you said, hey, let's run the LA City marathon. Yeah. Oh, no. Half a second to go, nah. Oh, I was so pissed that you said, nah.

Yeah, immediately. Didn't even think about it like, nah. Can you walk it? I'd do that. You can do whatever you want to do. I walked it so slowly. One of the metal that I accidentally ran backwards in a mile.

That's why it took me so long. Yeah, I thought that would be funny as hell, yeah, to run the marathon. I saw no hair in it. Hair thoughts are a whole different animal. Like I can't even, no, I wouldn't have done that either. No, you shouldn't. No.

And then I felt like death. He got a message. And I didn't do any crosswords at all and I thought, that's the worst ever. I felt like death walking across the sand yesterday. Oh yeah, you were having a puff and a pretty good day. I was, I had to sit down like four times in the sand yesterday. Oh yeah, you were having a puff and pretty good. I was, I had to sit down like four times in the sand. Like LAs are rough place.

The depression will push you down. That's what that is. It's not exhaustion. It's the fog. So the depression. It's the smog of depression. The smog of depression. We walk outside and first thing Jamie says,

I got a lot of smog here. What the fuck is that? Jamie, come here, come here. Let's not, come on. We know about the smog. We can't do anything about it. Yeah, we're all gonna die much sooner than... Yeah, it's not funny to us.

You just see all that? It's a big deal. Is that kind of like being racist, like, L.A.ist? Talking about your smog? We get it. We know that it's up there. Oh, it's a hot one out here today. Hey you come here. I want to shut the fuck up about you.

All right. Oh, it's traffic. Terrible. I'm talking to you for a minute, sir. You can put on my accent? No. I was just doing a generic silly accent. I was, that was a coincidence.

You know, we came back from the beach on a new bird that I don't even know how much it cost because I couldn't function anymore. I left my beach to go to. Hermosa, which stands for, what did you say? It says for Jamie. What, what did she say? Oh, sister me.

She said, do you guys speak Spanish to me and 80s girl. And we're like, God, little, she goes, wow, me too. Her most of the stands for sister. She's mostly being sister in Spanish. So he said, I was so confident too. No, that's once again. And then, Anton was the second guy to answer.

Hopped out of a cigarette, astray in the car, and then, hey, I'm the mayor of LA. Hopt out of a cigarette, ashtray in the cards. Hey, I'm the mayor of LA and that's not what it means. Unless you wanted to. What did it mean though? It means beautiful. That's why we took you guys there because you're both so beautiful.

I suppose. Second place beautiful. That would be Hermesita. Well, a little bit beautiful, right? I don't know if that's a little bit of an amount, but that's like a little. But that's like a little. But that's like a little. But that's like a little. But that's like a little. But that's like a little. But that's like a little. But that's like a little. But that's like a little. But that's like a little. But that's like a little. But that's like a little. But that's like a little. But that's like a little. But that's like a little. But that's like a little. But that's like a little. But that's like a little. But that's like a little. But that's like a little. But that's like a little. But that's like a little. But that's like a little. But that's like a little. But that's like a little. But that's like a little. But that's like a little. But that's like a little. But that's like a little. But that's like a little. But that's like a little. But that's like a little. But that's like a little. But that's like a little. But that's like a little. But that's like a little. But that's like a little. But that's like a little.

But that's like a little. But that's like a little. But that's like a little. But that's like a little. But that's like a little. But. Like, I go outside and I'm like, scream with a fucking leaves, the biblium tech that get the fucking shovels out and I'm drunk, drunk, drunk, drunk, and they seem to always get what I'm saying. Yeah. True. Philly's, Philly's, immediately,

and I'm like, yeah, is that guy again? It's close. We're on the way back. I poured myself into another Uber after the embarrassing spectacle. I had to keep my legs straight the whole time, so I just stuck them out the windows

on both sides of the car. And we get up to the, we come up the mountain and this dude for some reason is just slamming it into reverse on the, like right down the street from the bunker. This guy's just backing up. Man, and it's like watching this fucking thing is in slow motion. And you got 80s girl, Jamie in there.

And me, and one by one, what did you say? Oh boy. Yeah, Jamie says, oh boy. Not helpful at all. 80s girl says, what did you say oh boy? Yeah, Jamie says oh boy Not helpful to 80s girl says what did you say? 80s girl goes And I said hey And on my mind I'm thinking

These don't be not no they just got the the beach day of their life in that order first second. Yeah And I said, if I was like if I had time-stopping power that's all I would use it for is to get all my sying out on people. Like after they talk I would just pause time and go, roll my eyes into outer fucking space. So you're driving up the road toward the Uber guy is, yeah. The Uber guy is driving. And there's somebody, and he's just slamming in reverse. Heart, too. And he's looking out his back window,

and I said, hey, these guys go, oh boy, and like, she's on a fucking cartoon. Like, it's set up for a cutaway. Is that what you think that it's like a sitcom, like a one for comedic effect? They're like, oh, I'm in my own television show. I'm just gonna, uh, and imagine an audience laughing with a cute fucking face.

I know that's what you think I don't have to ask because I would do the same thing. And I said, hey, buddy, you gotta hit the horn. And I could feel it in his mind, this aversion to hit the horn. And I could feel it in his mind, this aversion to hitting the horn. Yeah, people don't want to do that for some reason. Yeah, and it was the same many, many a year ago in high school.

I was sitting in a car with your brother and somebody was doing the same shit just backing up. And I remember having this moment with your brother where I'm looking at him thinking, well is it's just like like using the horn is like the equivalent of turning two keys on the nuclear bomb We've got no choice sir. We've got to deploy the horn like this is what's going through our mind with this and I can see the guy in the front seat Struggling with it. I don't care. I'm in a different state of mind. This is what it's for. This is what it's for, dude. And I feel like the devil on his shoulder. I'm like, you've got to use the horn, dude. And then you've got her. You got Jamie on the other side saying, oh boy, that's the nice, the nice, the devil of inaction.

And I'm the devil of immediate violent dude. You've got to use the fucking horn, take your shoes off and start throwing them at this fucking idiot who's just reversing. He doesn't care. We could just be a bunch of kids. And he would just roll, he would have rolled right over us. That's what, that's what this is about. A bunch of imaginary kids that could have been killed by that idiot that I tried to stop. He never used it. The guy just ran right into him. No shit, didn't use it.

I mean, you could see him, his hand is like hovering over it. Like he's got some kind of a button that you could press to kill one person and make a million dollars with your shit, just punch all fucking day. Did the guy even slow down? No.

No. The fuck? He did a little twist actually, like a little show off twist. He was like, Oh fucking day. Did the guy even slow down? No. No. The fuck. He did a little twist actually, like a little show off twist. He was like, what's he shocked that he hit somebody? Kind of. Oh, he's like, sorry dude.

Yeah, I was like, oh sorry dude. And it didn't even mark up the cars. Not though. Well, there could be a lot of lasting damage. My neck started hurting. I thought it was just because of the beat. We should have done that. We should have claimed to have fake medical injuries Well, you've been in LA for three days. You're already thinking like LA

First and all right I've got horn horn phobia. So you're like okay later Yes, we did Well, I was I was like all right if you guys are gonna do the whole stupid insurance thing, we're just gonna get out and walk. Yeah. Well, are you literally down the street? Literally down the street?

Oh, fuck that, man. Just, I was like, I can't do anything. That's what I was like. I can't do anything. I was like, I was like, I can't do anything. I was like, I was like, I can't do anything.

I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was't like to do. But I was in that position because of all the fucking crosswords that I've been doing.

Anyway, I've got an erotic story and a stereo, so I think he's gonna call it. A stereo's had an additional fight. Well, please tell me he's gonna call in from somewhere where we can understand more than like every third word. I don't think there's been one time where he's called in where it didn't sound like complete dog shit for whatever reason. Yeah. We had to take his girlfriend out too.

He's in a fucking great elevator one time. He said a rodeo the next. A rodeo? I don't know. He was in a rodeo. I don't remember the rodeo. He was the rodeo was the boy. How does that go? Um, you just, you take, you go out, hold on, let me think of what it is.

Does it dump you? No, you go out. I just know he was the goal. I don't know. Yeah. That sound goes women on top of men, right? Yeah. No, other men on top of other men. And you ride, you ride him around, like a stereos gets a little saddle on him and then guys ride him around and while he's screaming about the wage gap, it's tough until he submits, he goes, no, if that man is the most about power, and then the guy gets off, it's like,

yeah, it's a new record. That's what liberal rodeo is. Liberal rodeo. You go to a lot of rodeos and... I've been to one. Texas? Why on the world? I don't know.

Are they fun? Yeah. I mean, I've been to the... I think it lets you back in Texas. If you're talking about rodeos like this. The place where they have the rodeo have been several times because they also have bands there. I've seen sticks there like three times. Yeah. And 38 special Miranda Lambert.

Who is that Adam Lambert as a woman now? Is he transition? No, that's the chick that used to be married to Blake Shelton. She's a big country star. Yeah. Yeah. She like gains and loses weight often. Mm-hmm. She's very cute though. Is she cute? Fat or cute? Both. Oh, she's cute. Yeah. Yeah. Anything goes in country music. You mean as fat as a house. She's like the darling of country music. And I don't even really like country music, but I like her. Just cute But how's the rodeo? I mean, I'm sorry I'm not talking about bath rods. How's that broads and bands? No, I mean, I was pretty young. So I don't remember to be honest with you

I just know I was there and I remember the red gate in front of me that I kept prop of my feet on and that is all I remember That's all it's important. that's why. I remember my old apartment, I remember this Amazon box, I propped my feet up when I was sitting at a computer. It's the perfect size Amazon box. I don't remember anything else about that shit hole. I'm really bad about that though, it's not very proper, but I'm always propping my feet. It's not proper for a woman to proper feet up?

Why? Because it's acting like you guys did work, and that's taking a load of, all right, let me see if I got a neurotic story, proper feed up. Why? Because it's acting like you guys did work. And then stick the load on. All right. Let me see if I got a neurotic story. Let me see if, let me see if it's serious. Is here I told him to call in at seven. I don't want to make him wait.

Now we're going to get to the news of course. He's having avocado toast. Okay, it's there. Are you there? Yeah, I'm here. Could you hear me? Yes. Where are you today?

You want a submarine or a wood shipper or in type to a quantum singularity where photons can escape or what? I'm an Italy What's Italy? Italy, it's just like Italy, but with more food Sounds terrible. So you're in a restaurant Yes, I'm in a restaurant. I'm a department. I'm a department. Okay, so you recently had a, you weren't done, you didn't get all the fight out of your system. So you decided to challenge a man at a chicken McNuggets of competitive eater at a chicken

McNuggets eating contest. Does that right? Heat. Well, as we know, I mean, you know, my trading for the boxing match has been to try to become the blob, to try to become 500 pounds. And I mean, that's, you know, that's what I've been saying, like, I go to sleep at night, go in like 500 pounds, wake up on a five-year family. I'm way myself all the time.

And it's like, I'm just imagining that as though it's real. Just like, I gotta wake up. I gotta be 500 pounds as though it's real. I got to wake up. I got to be 500,000. Fanist. Are you eating it? Come on. Like, again, I don't know how many times I have to remind you that nothing can hurt the plot.

Yeah, no. I had, if I had been twice as big in that match against War of the Fluff Boys, like, it wouldn't even have been a contest. He would hit me once. But you still won. I'm going onto the clobberton. One, two, three, pinned him in the middle of the fuck boys. Like, it wouldn't even have been a contest. He would hit me once. But you still won. I want to them clobber him one, two, three, pinned him in the middle of the ring,

just like in a boxing match. Yeah. And so, and so, and so, and what. What? What? What? You're shaking your head. You need a time stopper to roll your eyes this bad.

Like I do. It's ridiculous, right? Yeah, just, just go. Just go. Just go. Just go. In here, it's making police sirens like it's like, this is a story of the ultimate example of like, I wanna have my cake and eat it too.

He's got Macnuggets in one hand. He's got like his girlfriend and another. He's got a play to avocado toast in front of him. He's got to get some drinks. He's got like a, you know, a computer. He's just asking everyone in the bar just to shush for a minute while he does some very important business. He's going like, God, I would love to hear more than every third word.

Oh man. Standing still as I possibly can. Well thank you, thank you for that. Thank you for standing there, he's still. Okay, so I'm well. So I don't know why I'm having a lot of trouble standing upright since I ate a hundred chicken nuggets last night in your jersey. I don't doubt that.

Anyway, so I say to myself, well, I want to let the world into my trading regimen. So I'm going to go to McDonald's, eat a hundred chicken nuggets and give them some of my patented fight tips, you know. Buddy, that it sounds fucking disgusting. Like I didn't say this when you were lining this up, but I got to think when you get through about 30 McNuggets, your brain figures out what's in that food and start sending you the wrong signals. And we like McNuggets. I love McNuggets.

I have been, I have, yeah, I'll do anything for 10 McNuggets, 20 McNuggets, but that 21st McNugget, that will fuck up your world, that's the black pill McNugget. That is a McNugget too fucking far. The consist, everything, you know everything about McNuggets on that 21st McNuggets. It's like a marriage to McNuggets.

You know, too much about this person, you know, too much about this food and you can't unknow it. Um, that is exactly how I felt at the end of this, at the end of the night. Uh, so I say to myself, I'm going to go eat a bunch of nuggets on camera and then a guy challenges me. He finds me on Twitter and he's like, I'm a competitive eater and I challenge you with McNugget Edoop and I'm just like, oh great, well now my whole life is just like be-

People challenging you. You're the fucking fastest gun in the West, except you're not. Like everybody comes gunning for esterios on anything. Like the South Park where the kids get challenged by the 80s like skiers, you know what I think? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, we never show that. Okays like skiers, you know what I think is the best skier like what I'm saying. No, we never said that.

Okay, as you think you can eat chicken McNuggets, I'll show you eating chicken McNuggets because they know. So I didn't see it, who won? Who won? Oh, um, definitely not me. Oh. Because, all right, the guy, the guy shows up, he's definitely gigantic, which a get goes to my theory that you've got to get big to win

his humongous man his guy like his fists are like the size of hamhawks he sits down how big is that you know three two one oh by the way so a dick show fan told me that he would find my mcnuggets if I did it in his McDonald's in Medford, New Jersey. And so we drove two hours to save about $11. I'm gonna talk to him for two hours. He's going to be a hysteria, but I'm gonna do some hysteria. He wants to drove two hours for free chicken McNuggets.

I'm gonna go in the back. That is at least $12 in gas, bro. No, but you could taste the savings. Well, also don't forget the toll. The tolls were about $27. No, no. You could taste the, you free nuggets taste better. And I think everyone here knows that.

Everyone knows it's stolen. Shit is better than shit you paid for. Me and Jamie were talking about that today. Oh my gosh, do not throw me into the bus. Jamie, what the hell are you stealing? You're stealing it. You're coming to hell coming in your immediately bringing all your Texas crime with you. I just do a tennis ball. Oh, yes, that's right. Miss Jamie

with the grabbing stuff off the ground. She's like a toddler. She's like a hotdog. A hotdog retriever's tennis ball. We're walking. We're walking on Venice. And I look away. I look back and all of a sudden Jamie's bouncing a fucking tennis ball like Rocky I'm like, where did you just get that tennis ball? She because I found it on the ground So you just stole some dogs shoot tennis ball toy. Yeah, I did No one leaves a clean brand new tennis ball on the ground. It wasn't clean. There was. Here. I'm not.

You know, this ball and Texas, that you're like, Oh, what's this? What's this yellow? What's this yellow fun sphere? Yellow screen. Okay. So, guys, let me get this. Let me get this guy on hold on. Hold on. Hold on. What's what's the guy's name? I believe his name is Rob. All right. Oh, we're gonna do Swimmingly Here new noise

Door didn't like okay, he's just call him on Skype hold on I could do that. Oh, okay Wonderful Rob you got to add me on okay Thank you very very, very helpful. See that, that is the definition of not half-assed. All it takes to not half-ass something is to do what you think they're gonna do next. You know what I mean? Like call me on Skype, what are they gonna think?

What's your Skype name? Immediately he puts it on there. There you go. That's how I know this man is a real serious competitor of eating chicken McNuggets. Because he thinks. He was always thinking one, one nugget ahead. He's gonna be like,

he's gonna be like, he's gonna be like, uh, hey is this Rob? He's gonna be like, yeah it is. Oh God, is this Rob? Yeah, it is. Oh God Sean you're gonna have to help you're gonna have to figure out this audio Here maybe I can turn this down Turn my discord me. I definitely might discord what the fuck is going on over here? That's it!

Was the stereos on the train yet? Where is he? It sounds like he's going to text you. You're there? All of his men is letting me broadcast from his cardboard box. Okay, okay, so Rob, you saw that a stereos was committing a active committing a disgusting act of of great Crapulence by eating 200 or eating a hundred McNuggets and you said I got to get in on this action Is that right that is correct and what's your background sir?

I've done a couple of eating competitions. I did a Nathan's qualifier once but I didn't win the hot dog eating one Yeah, how many weeners did you get down and you throw nine weeners nine weeners, that's it talent in ten minutes the buns are impossible. It's terrible. If the dip them in water. Yeah, the dip them in coke. The most gross this thing I've ever done. I called it crosswords. Jamie not coke, please. Did you dip the the buns in water? Oh, yeah, I did it was the grossest thing I've ever done That sounds really fucking gross man I mean I mean a lot of gross shit with my hands. I've never eaten nuts that I found on the beach though

Jamie miss Jamie the toddler that picks things up off the ground you to place with them or put some in What what did you do to prepare for that fight? Did you go to like a boxing gym and train for six weeks for the eating contest? I just continue with my normal life. Are you a big man? I'm larger, yeah. How large is larger? Do I stock shirts in your size it's only a two X I six six three two seventy five. Oh that's six three two six three two seventy five. Yeah. So that's very tall. I don't think that's that big for that tall. No. No. No. No. People are always surprised when I tell my way to seventy five. Okay so you have you trained if you trained it all for competitive eating. No I trained trained for rugby. Okay, you work up an appetite with... Two disc golf and an hand.

Are rugby guys assholes? What's the deal with rugby guys? I get the feeling with those little collars that they're wearing that they all think they're better than me. Yeah, I probably do that. And they like to touch. I've noticed rugby guys, like they're always... I'm kind of joshing you.

Yeah. I took away from me. What's a man ass is when I played I played rugby okay that's what I thought so you play a lot of rugby and you've you've you've um you've participated in the Weiner Goblin contest and Nathan coming out and they just go hand in hand hey now have you ever done something but what a serious what oh I was gonna say Robbie was also part of a hot dog getting contest for one of your favorite shows for the trailer park boys.

What really? Robbie, you were in a eating contest for trailer park boys? Yeah, yeah. Sam Lasco's show came through by me last June. Yeah. It was a race to four hot dogs and it was over in less than a minute. Did you win? Oh yeah. Oh, you see over in less than a minute. Did you win? Oh, yeah.

Oh, that's... You see Jamie, this is a winner. You can take some tips on him. Oh, my. I'm here. Your actual real contest. The body, the age old contest about him. Okay, so you came into this thinking that you came into this hot, right?

Was that fair to say? You thought you'd blow a stereo sound? I was just there to have some fun and participate in some great comedy. I mean, helping somebody destroy their body. Yeah, that's what a winner, that's what a winner is, somebody who knows they're gonna win. Like, yeah, I was just there for,

that's like adding insult upon the loss is to just say like that you didn't even take it seriously. Yeah, all right. Okay. At one point he had beaten me so badly that he just started waving his nuggets at my face. I don't hear a serious. As if to be like he was making them dance and like do these little, these little moves and I was like, okay, I get it.

You can keep more of a nuggets than me. I get it. He was like casually tossing his empty 20 piece boxes as if he was like a fancy man, joughing his cap, he was like, oh, this is another trifle for Rob. This is disgusting. The whole thing that this is what this is,

and there was like 15 guys out there watching the meat, watching them destroy themselves with chicken making my guess. People showed up to watch this. So was there any stakes involved gentlemen? Or is this like a little girl's? No, just not bad. Just not. Was there any stakes involved or what? After the race I did pledge to a stereo is his Patreon. Oh, his patreon also stereo's one yeah alright I'm not what makes you rage dude craft beer geeks okay yeah I don't get me wrong I love beer I drink a lot of beer I make beer

but I tell somebody that you know two days before my best friends wedding I got to drop everything go with them to him to Philadelphia to pick up something and my one friend goes oh hey while you're there you think you could just you know have your friend detour his plans and stop at this brewery to pick up this beer for me pick up beer from Philadelphia you got a strap on your man's From Philadelphia. Oh. Oh. Was it good? Oh. You got to strap on your mansplaining soup for that shit, man. Like, oh boy.

Let me tell you where you fucked up today, sir. Let me tell you, I need a fucking chart to show you how big of an ask this is. I'm going to start. It's going to look like the goddamn stock market crash. Starting at zero, climbing up steadily till where you fucked up, and then it's gonna fall off of a cliff. And that's where I am right now. I'm gonna walk you right through it to ask for asking me to pick up beer,

liquid, and a container for your fucking tasty pleasure. So you can sit there and sip on a beer in your fucking mouth and enjoy it and think of the six beers so how many beers do you want you to pick up. He just wanted me to go to this one specific brewery that they don't sell in New Jersey. And he wanted to trade this beer online. From New Jersey? And he wanted to fill it.

Sorry, he wanted to trade it online. There is a huge beer trading community for people who, oh, I can't get this in New Jersey, so I'm going to call somebody in Colorado. We're going to trade stuff back and forth. Don't have to come and be a road. I'm going to be a good guy in Chicago. Who the hell is that?

Oh, that's my girlfriend. They were my uncles. Ha, ha, ha, ha. All right, he says the L.I. God. How much beer did you pick up in Chicago? That's a good one. That's a good one. That's a good one. All right, he says, he's a big old. How much beer did you pick up in Chicago? I definitely came home with two cases. What's, was a case, 18, 24?

Yeah. So you came home with 50 beers? All three floids, but that was all for me. Oh. Well, that's... That was being trade with people online. That was all for my... That was all for you? Hey, well, that's being trade with people online. That was all for my,

That was all for you. Hey, you better tell that woman that that's that's none of her business to be broadcasting all over the internet. That's your beers. She doesn't need to be she doesn't need to be calling you out for beers. If I don't I don't care if I fill I don't care if I make a truck out of beer in Chicago and then fill it with beer and driving home. Don't you fucking dare call me out on the podcast about how many beers I got.

What's your girlfriend's name? Cat. Cat? She's not an actual cat. She's a real person named Cat. Oh, she's a real human. OK, deserving of respect. She gets cat unlike other people.

Yeah. So this is the second time in two weeks that I have honestly. I'm gonna buy Sean a tracker that I can buzz him when he's late. I'm gonna buy a stereo as a fucking satellite phone with a microphone on it just so we can call it. Yeah, all right, man, craft beer snobs, the worst. People get it's, it's, it's the ask that if session will let them ask you to do anything in the fucking world.

I can't know about this underground beer road thing that they've got going on. Sounds kind of cool. Yeah. That actually does sound kind of cool. Yeah. All right, Rob. Thanks for calling in, man. Congratulations on your big win.

Thanks a lot, Dick. See you later. Bye. Bye, Kat. Bye. Bye. Don't be talking about your man's business like that. Tell him about Chicago. Hey, you bitch, I'm gonna fucking chop you. You know what, you know what,

you fucking talk about Chicago. Talking about two cases of beer that I brought home from myself. All right, Ashtari, is she got anything that makes you a rage? Are you gonna need like new fights planned up? Are you gonna be on Dancing with the Stars? Well, actually, I think I just kinda wanna, now that my life has essentially become doing stunts,

if any, if any dick show fans want to suggest the next stupid thing I do, just hit me up on Twitter because between Foxy and Strange are an entering of a nuggety contest. Yeah, I got the blog. It should be Chippendale's dancing, like the Patrick's Faising for Chris Farley's Chippendale. Exactly. I would of course be.

Which one? You can be the one that's just amazing. Of course, why don't you cross that up? I don't, I don't, I don't want. Well, I don't want to see him become Preston from Jackass. What do you mean? Oh, why, but he didn't do challenges, did he? Well, I know, Preston's a big dude.

Yeah, but he's a stereo's is one for two. Like, for all, that times. I know, some times. And there is, Asterios is one for two. Like for all, that guy who challenged him, for all we know, Asterios could have eaten a fuck load of chicken McNuggets. I'm sure he did eat a fuck load of chicken McNuggets. The thing about Asterios is,

he's got so much energy. Like he's like a, he's like the devil's core man. Like you don't know what's going on in there. That's a atomic bomb. I don't know, I think Asterios has. Asterios has too much to offer to like just do the latest dumb stunt that somebody suggests.

How do you suggest that eating 200 chicken McNuggets is a simple dumb stunt, John. People don't drive two hours to a dumb stunt. It's a Sean. Yeah. Trying to keep it with some self respect. Okay, well, if to try to keep it with some self respect Okay, well Well if anyone wants to be fun and not be a Sean. Yeah, let's go ahead and suggest what the next thing all right is there is anything make you rage? Yeah, my shitty phone so I'll talk to you later. All right, bye. Thank you. I was a clearest thing. He said

Avocado toast He said later dude. Oh, that avocado toast. Man, I really hope that Stereos doesn't do that. Doesn't do what? Gain all that weight. Unless he wants to. 500 pounds that would be badass. No. Are you kidding me?

You see you've seen a Stereos. I have. What is he thinking? What is he thinking? Like 250, 240? Two fifths. What's in that? I'm just saying that, 240? Two fifths. Less than that. I never seen that video.

I don't know. Actually pretty pretty good. I always think guys are way fat, way way way more than the ARC is. I think it's just because you're critical. No, I like it. I'm like, that guy's the coolest guy ever. He's gotta be like five, four, seven, six,

hundred pounds. I'm like, nah, I'm like two, 20. I'm half. Could've pulled me. Sometimes I forget to factor in height, where you're like, oh no, that person's not as tall as I kind of think they are. So then you're like, okay, no, I could see

they actually weigh less than. I don't know, I guess I've gotten better at guessing weight. You could be like a carnival. Yeah, I could. I couldn't do that shit. Probably get the second best stuffed animal you could guess. People call them, they're like, oh, I guess how much I weigh and I would say you look like a child molester Here's your fucking stuff animal

Oh, dick, we've had a lot of complaints about your food going out. It's like you have a micro dick I'll be smoking too. Yeah, there you Smoking man, that's the coolest shit. You just drop a bomb like that. And that's your favorite boss and stuff. Smoking. That was my, when I got out of it as a rape apologist, that was what I posted in defense. All these, all these broads were going crazy

on my, like my personal Facebook. Explain this, explain this. And I just posted Gerald Brofflosski playing Smokin' while he's throwing up like really? I suck on this bitch. Yeah, and that was it. That's the last time I ever used my personal Facebook. Is it really?

Yeah. Wow, like whatever. I don't care. You people mean nothing to me. Oh. Nice. All right. You didn't talk about the whole you made

with your chin and the sand earlier. I thought you were free face You're pretty proud of that though. I met a hole in the Don't when you lay down at the beach look. I need to bury myself That's what I do when I'm where you want to be on a towel or where you are just on the sand Sean I abandoned the towel pair time about half way through my slumber. I realized that I was restricting my laying down hung over at the beach to this mere towel. But what's the point?

Because the sand gets all over everything. Yeah. So I just moved right into the sand. Yeah. And I said, this towel can kiss my nuts. I don't need it anymore. Oh, no, it's a very middleman. I don't need this towel. I don't need any comfort. I deserve this. I'm a sick human. I'm a sick human being. But what I do deserve is a nose hole.

Because that when you lot, when you're passed out on the sand at the beach, that your biggest enemy is your, is your pertuberances, your dick, your hips, your knees. So I made a little, I, this is a little dictive for you. I make a nose, I make a hole for my nose with my chin. Well, I'm laying face down because I'm not going to turn over. Yeah. So I give a little, like I dig into the sand with my chin, chin like a pelican like I'm scooping it out or like another what's an animal that does that that scoop shit out with it like a scoop bill Pelican's kind of a duck

Yeah, like I just dig it out and then boom nose straight into the hole and you can solve I can still breathe Yeah, not that I deserve to breathe. Cause of the way I've behaved, you know, deserves got nothing to do with it. I've become a beast. Yeah. Yeah. It's dirty, dirty business crosswords.

To herty dirty business. Okay, I'm gonna read this erotic story to warm up for the news. I'm gonna read this on. Sounds pretty good. Sounds erotic. Oh, Tim Poole is, Tim fucking Poole, you know what this guy is? No.

This is this journalist, this new journalist. He's a journalist, right? So he does this interview with Maddox and all the dickheads are like, yeah, you're fucking interviewing. He does an interview about social justice warriors with Maddox, whose Maddox is now claiming to not be a social justice warrior, even though he's, you know, the whole fucking Maddox media and everybody on that goddamn network's going after people's jobs,

not stop. Uh, so dickheads are calling him out on it. Like, didn't you fucking research this person? You're doing this interview with? And Tim Poole goes, oh, I'm just interviewing him. I'm not doing an expose on his life. And it's like, dude, you're a journalist.

So I chime in with the word journalist means almost nothing. And that means you gotta like research a little bit. Well, that's what it's supposed to mean. You have some kind of, you should be. I know for myself. I know what you think it means. Yeah, we're Morgan Freeman's.

Yeah, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, I know what you think it means. Yeah, we're Morgan Freeman. Yeah, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, what you think it means, but yeah, this fucking guy, it's always always with these guys when they fuck up, when these fucking internet people fuck up, it's like, well, you know, I, uh, I didn't, that sounds like none of my business. You're fucking journalist. Yeah, that's exactly your business. So that's what I said. It's entirely your business. You dumb mother fucker. Who is this guy? Like what level is he supposed to be at? You know what, Sean? There's no levels anymore. You're fucking everybody's nobody. It's all a street fight. And I'm on a fucking win. Is he on a network? Is he on? What is he like? He's probably going to be

on cast media network after this. because he said that what I was doing Like I said, hey people are you're getting backlash to the tim pool I said you're getting backlash because you're promoting a guy who's a fucking scumbag Like that's you're in the you trust is your business. That's what I said to him trust is your business So people are telling you Why you need to give this a second look and not make stupid mistakes. But that's the thing about life. The world will give you a couple mistakes that you can make.

And they'll hammer you for making those mistakes. And all you got to do is say, you know what, I made a mistake, I'll try to correct it, and I'll do better next time. But these e-selects, that's what it's like being a, that's what it's supposed to be about. And the further you get in life is determined by your ability to look at what the entire goddamn world is telling you. Like they brainwash you as a kid to say, oh, people will just laugh at your ideas. And that's how you know you've got a great idea.

No motherfucker, we laugh at bad ideas way more often than we laugh at good ones. Henry, mother fucking Ford didn't say, you know what? I think I'm gonna turn everything into an assembly line. You use reusable parts to cut down on the inefficiency of having to custom make replacement parts for machines that get shipped all of it out fucking world. Somebody didn't go, ha ha ha ha ha. What a cut. Now they said, ah, that's probably a good idea, but then some other fucking bozo goes,

I'll just, I'll make a, I'll dress up like a fucking cat and go to a boxing gym, be like, ah, everybody's out. Ha ha ha ha ha. Well, you know everybody gets laughed at. No, they fucking don't. Look, you gotta lick the specifics, the specifics the specific Sean yeah who's doing the laughing and in this case with temple you get a lot of smart fucking people saying you know dude give that a second look of course you've got people just going cut cut cut cut cut cut because

it's funny but you got a lot of smart people going give that a second look so I say research yeah research that people don't use or do anymore. You're the fucking journalist. You think you just show up with a video camera and ask people questions, and this is somehow contributing to the collective conscious. What that is is a host. Yeah, that's a host. Host of bullshit.

Everybody thinks they're Johnny Carson now. Oh, I just asked this guy a bunch of questions. Subscribe to my use stream and go to my twitter and buy my fucking shirts the temple shirts Whatever you want to be whatever and whatever gets fucking links. Whatever gets fucking links. That's what I'm doing Whatever gets likes. Oh that one was fucked up And now my problem. I'm just the guy that asked question. You're a fucking journalist or not dude You got less you got less integrity than a guy screaming about doing crossword puzzles and getting sunburned because all that shit that I said is

fucking true and I researched it so I says to the guy I said yeah that's why people that's why you're getting backlash because you fucked getting backlash. Because you fucked up as a journalist, you fucked up. If Megan Kelly had an ISIS member on her show talking about democracy, she would get, she would get some backlash for you. Yeah, yeah. If she brought Chris Brown on to talk about how women's role, how women are promoting like rap, you'd be like, hey, this is nothing kind of kicked the shit out of Brihani. You stupid.

Why are you bringing him on your show? It's called checks and balances. You get nut checked. And then you better balance your fucking spreadsheet. You'd prick because you fucked up. That's what I'm saying. I like that version of checks and balances. That's what the founding fathers meant.

I know what they meant when they said that. They didn't mean some fruity shit. They were between the lines. They were brewing beers, and they were talking about checks and balances. And Ben Franklin walked and he's like, what up, motherfucker? You got a nut, a shit, a shit, and you got to balance your fucking ledger. You got to balance this shit before I come in here next time. Or you're gonna need spectacles

like this because I'm not gonna fucking ask! In fact, they angled you bitch! That's what they were really like. These guys would do each other, and they're just sitting around on dollar bills looking like they're all professional. They were like that ever! Just snap in their fingers. They were fucking broads and hammering each other with canes, man.

They carried around canes, Sean. Killing people on the White House lawn. On the White House fucking lawn. You talking about my policies? I will duel your shit. Well, I mean, I can't, you know, they tell, what is it? Aaron Burr and Alexander Hamilton. Aaron Burr is like, he's like the Trump of his day.

Did you know that? Oh, he was a big loudmouth. So Hamilton, they're running for governor, something like that of New York and Hamilton's talking shit about him. He's like, oh yeah, I'll fucking do it, you're shit. And the way they retell this story is that Hamilton had no choice because he was challenged. He had to defend his honor. He's like, no, he got called out into a gun fight by a man who's always doing, who's a bad ass,

who would definitely, it's like a stereo is getting called out for eating chicken macknuggets. If somebody calls a stereo sound for a gun fight, I'm gonna say, no, a stereo's don't. You're not, don't gun fight that guy. But you tried to talk him out of the other fight and he didn't do it and look what happened. Well, that was money reasons. Cause I wanted them to stretch out the fight. Yeah.

So their books came out, but they got all big in their pants. They got this mean to fight because they probably never fought before. I was like, fuck this guy. That's why I get it over. That's why guys want to fight because they want to fight. So Paul so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so,

so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, uh, says to me, uh, you're using the same, he said, come on, dude, and that's what I know, that he's what I know I've won. Right. Because you're begging, you're begging me to stop. When you say, come on, dude, when people say, come on, man, it's like,

it's like, it's not making sense. Yeah, like, stop making sense. And that's, some, a sporting man would stop, let them off the hook. I don't do that. I need the win. I need, I need to see your penis. I need to pull your pants that,

you know what I'm saying? I need it. I need you to tell me, because none of this, and that doesn't matter to me. Doesn't matter who you are. Some fucking guy with a tw- I don't give a shit.

This show is not built on guys with Twitter accounts. So I said, so he goes, oh, you're using the same, you're using the same techniques that the anti-fascist people use when they attack me. Mike, what do you think? You think guys picking on you for interviewing a fuck ball is attacking you?

Are you, so I said, you need to either grow thick or skin or grow some balls. Welcome to the fucking internet. Yeah. And he just replies me right now in the middle of the show. Yeah, welcome to the fucking, welcome to the internet. Don't let your beanie fly off because your show for clenched over guys picking on you online

You precious little fucking media darling Don't let to keep keep a hold on that fucking beanie Stretch that fucking cute little longshoreman every man beanie down over your head temple Be careful that someone doesn't hurt your feelings so you go shooting off the planet So you have to go on your own on a men's version of love, cray, love, cray, eat, cray, love. See, I don't even know, like those guys. I don't know, I don't know.

So he just, he just tweets at me right now. Well, let me read it so I don't fuck it up. Oh, did he fucking delete it? There's son of a bitch. I see there's shit, I hate these fuck. My toes, somebody's got a screen on got a screen. The dickheads are so powerful that they, they've caused tweets to be undeleted. They've resurrected tweets from the dead. Mikey bolts tweeted me a gif in the middle of the night. And I woke up. The notification was gone and the tweet

was gone. So I tweeted, Hey, motherfucker, you dickless fuck. Did you tweet me a gif or a gif? Where did it go? Who can help me with this? And all these guys, you dickless fuck, did you tweet me a gif or a gif? Where did it go? Who can help me with this? And all these guys, I go, yeah, yeah, do this, do this. And he reposted a gif, I don't know if it's the same one, but point is, Twitter's getting very powerful, John,

until it gets suspended like Sam Heitz, but we'll cross that vision when we get there. Let me see, hold on, hold on, I gotta find this fucking thing. The dickheads, they go by a, see something. Oh yeah, here we'll cross that vision. We get there. Let me see, hold on, hold on, I got to find this fucking thing. The dickheads, they go by a, see something. Oh yeah, here we go. Yeah, there's these things. There's these things.

Y'all are crazy. This is what Tim Poole, a motherfucker who's, who's expecting you to take him as a journalist, says, y'all are crazy. If you think that this gets people on your side, there's no side to the truth. You dumb fucking asshole. You fucking ineffectual little twat timpool.

There's no fucking side to journalism. You stupid, useless prick. Timpool. Doesn't understand what journalism is. It's not about you. You are not a fucking celebrity. The truth is a celebrity. You dirty little bitch.

You useless fucking prick. You show-boating, grain-standing, limelight-loving, ass-sucking little prick, Tim Poole. Fuck you, you not the first fucking scrap of journalism in your body. In your limperisted, liquid body, you bitch. You fucking bitch. You fucked- Asterios will fight you! I-I-every-anyone rather- You little fucking bastard, go-go-go do a report on-go-do a grade school book report on what is a journalism? You fucking pussy, there are no sides, you fucking pussy! And that's how I know, this is what I do, Sean.

I work the truth out of these-this is what I do Sean. I worked the truth out of these. This is who this man is. This is who Tim pool fucking is. It's a side to him. Yeah. You got to appeal to the you got to kiss the fucking ring if you want to get your side out. It's all the worst parts of journalism. It's now it's in one fucking guy every time. One fucking guy journalist or celebrities first. Oh, God, there's such sex as shit. And this is what happened. This is what's happening at VidCon or whatever these these fucking. I'm sorry. Are we ready for speaking of journalism? So let's just get to the news. I'm I'm too upset to read a rottan erotic story. Oh, that's right. You

were going to read one. Y'all are crazy crazy if you think this gets anybody on your side. And the side of what? He's wrong, by the way. What's that? That's how you don't get people on your side. Yeah, you get people on your side by grabbing them by their neck and grinding their goddamn face into the dirt. That's how you get people on your side.

And then you say, say, Uncle, say, Uncle, say, Uncle. Are you crazy? Do you think this will get anyone on your side? Say, you can't be candy and then you fucking pussy! There, that's all I needed. All you just had to say it, right? We all know this. It's a different world though.

These people come from a different fucking world, people like Tim Poole. And so that put you out of the mood. For an electronic story. Track records don't matter. Yeah, getting fucking dist by this A-hole. Yeah. By the way, is he from the South?

Because he said, y'all, I don't appreciate that. He's co-opting your culture. He is. What a prick. What a prick. This fucking guy, if he wants to call in and settle the score, he should. Sure.

Yeah. I'm not done. I'm not fucking done with this. Where's he from? Yeah. I think he's from the... I gotta look this guy's he from? Yeah. I think he's from a, I gotta look this guy up. I don't know who he is.

Let me see. Let me read his bio. I'll challenge him to a y'all off. 140, you'll take second. 140, I got his followers. Award winning journalist and technologist making. You say 120 followers. 140,000 Twitter followers.

Award winning journalist and technologist, making followers. 140,000 Twitter followers, award winning journalist and technologist making documentaries. What award? What the, he won the smallest dick on the internet award. Documentaries are funny too. Second place. That's still an award.

You still get to say an award in his second place. I won. Well, I get it. I had like 12 trophies, so I guess that's cool. Are you do you really? Yeah, we got like a whole mantle full. I don't have any trophies at all.

I've got a picture of it. I've got to go find a trophy. I've got to go find a trophy. Yeah, I've got to go find a trophy. Yeah, I've got to go find a trophy. Yeah, I've got to go find a trophy. Yeah, I've got to go find a trophy. Yeah, I've got to go find a trophy.

Yeah, I've got to go find a trophy. Yeah, I've got to go find a trophy. Yeah, I've got to go find a trophy. Yeah, I've got to go find a trophy. Yeah, I've got to go find a trophy. Yeah, I've got to go find a trophy. Yeah, I've got to go find a trophy. Yeah, I've got to go find a trophy. Yeah, I've got to go find a trophy. Yeah, I've got to go find a trophy. Yeah, I've got to go find only trophy. That's why you wanted to do it. I didn't know you got a medal, dude. Well, I think you wanted, but you found out shortly before.

I know. I did. I never talked about I want the medal. Yeah, the medal kept me going. And then my life coach took all the fucking credit for it. Right. Oh, it really pissed me off. All right.

All right. All right. You all are crazy. If you think this gets people on your side. Oh, so if, if like somebody who's dying to get the truth out there is slightly discurdiest to you, then that's it. That's all it takes. Okay, let's, Jamie, you got some news for us.

I do, and did you want to see the photo? I literally took a photo. I took you, I believe you. I'm gonna take you, but I wanted to show you. I do, it looks huge. Look at the size of the thing. Look at that mine. Look at the size of the size of the thing. Look at the mine. Okay. Look at the mine. I just got I just got I just got people with

hundreds of thousands of followers just saying I'm an idiot blocking me on Twitter. He blocked you? No, that's Kurt Kurt. I can walled blocked me because he accidentally posted all of his hinti porn. I just said that I didn't believe his official story. How do you keep track of all of the people who are blocking you or? It's very easy. Everyone hates me. Well, there's three people that don't they're all in this room. It's if I see you in your eyes, then you don't hate me.

Yeah. If I haven't seen you in like a couple weeks, yeah, you go back on the list. People probably hate me. Okay, so news. You were talking about people on the list. People probably hate me. Okay, so news. You were talking about people on the White House long killing each other. Sometimes I wonder if that's gonna happen again soon.

So Donald Trump is tweeting again. Yeah, good. Yeah, yeah. He's a blessing. He's a national treasure. And you guys have talked about this before. Hillary Clinton colluded with a Democratic party in order to be crazy Bernie Sanders

Is she allowed to so collude unfair to Bernie with an exclamation point at that. It is unfair to Bernie I feel bad for those guys. Yeah, I think I agree with you You feel bad for Bernie guys. Yeah. Well, I just I feel bad for him Bernie reminded me of someone else that Trump reminds me of my dad Oh, yeah, Bernie reminds me of someone else. It Trump reminds me of my dad. And Bernie reminds me of someone else's dad. Like if he would have got in power, I'd say, you know, somebody's there, though. He's a nice guy. Hillary Clinton though, reminds me of someone's mom.

Ooh, the mom that will shut off the Super Nintendo. If she sees her playing it, you know, I'm talking about. Yeah, so I do know what you're talking about. I can't reason with that broad. Ooh, no. Don't bad for those of Bernie guys. You know, I'm talking about... Yeah, so I do know what you're talking about. I can't reason with that broad. Mm-mm. No. Don't bad for those of Bernie guys. I just want to be friends with those guys.

So yeah, I thought about you and I've read that because you... I think it's kind of funny how you like Bernie, but you will complain about the Bernie sign down the road. Well, you know. But I think it's kind of a cool dude. I just want to punch that guy out. Even though he's wrong, I mean. Bernie? Yeah yeah, but he just he didn't seem like such an asshole You know, I I heard an interview of him and he sounded he came off like a huge ass really which one what was he talking about?

It was on it was on a local talk. It was on if John and Ken 640 local L.A. talk show, but I thought, but it's LA. It's like, maybe he was just trying to like, you know, it's our talk station. Yeah. No, he was all trying to relate. I don't know.

I got a bad vibe off of him. But I don't think he's a bad guy. I don't know. I think we could all be, I think we could be friends with the Bernie Bros. We got some room for them. I think we could. Who was his running mate? I don't remember. That little bird that landed on, that landed on his podium when he was talking.

Did he not even end up with a running mate? Bernie and Bernie. It was that little fucking bird. That was the first lady, Bernie. Bernie, what president was that? Lady Bird Johnson. Yeah. Big Johnson. He Yeah, yeah, big Johnson Big Johnson. He was big Johnson T shirts was based off of him. Yeah, Jackie Kennedy hated her. Really? Mm-hmm. Oh, chicks. I know. I'm terrible at all the time. All right, what else? What else you got? Okay, well, you already talked about the BET wars, which are this weekend. So yeah, those are Or maybe Monday

Yeah, you took it right out of my fucking mouth. God damn it. You got to be fast as John. I know. I've been fucking hammering Tim Poole all day. You're sharp. Sharp. All those crosswords. Well, because they they don't start on time. That's why. Oh, Lordy. And I was wondering. So the guy who was supposed to be a guest here today, who was that bunty king? And so you don't think that he was maybe working like the adventurer. No, no, no. Why? Because it's black. No, he's seek. Oh, he seek. I had a lot of questions about being seek. But was it his thing was like he said something, something black people, something. Oh, did he? Yeah, that's what you got in trouble for, right?

I don't know. I have no idea that's. I have to have to have a. I'm not. I'm not some kind of a journalist. I don't go around online. Get information. How do we get people?

How do we get people on his side? Yeah, you got to kiss as much as I got to send Tim pool a fucking gift basket. I got to send him a big toadalaron. Right. Oh, can you, Tim pool? Can you please hear me out, sir? May I have another tweet? There him a big toadalaron. Right. A team pool. Can you please hear me out, sir? May I have another tweet? There's a big toadalaron and an ass and a back washing thing.

So you can take a shower and wash your back, sir. Oh, man. Because you're better than us. You fucking prick. You think this is, you all think this is a good way to get people on your side? Well, I don't know. Do you want to look like a complete fucking moron?

You want to be on the wrong side of history? Yeah. Oh, you're right. You're right. I should have phrased the truth in a more seductive way for you. For your fucking journalistic sensibilities. Right. You bald fuck.

Tim pulled. You bald. That's why he freaked somebody pull this beanie off and he started and he threw it big ass tantrum. What do we need? Hey, such a pussy. This is the new, this is the new journalist. New, new face of journalism. And he's supposed to be somebody who was like doing liberal stuff, but then he got over to the conservative side because he went to Sweden to show, I think, I don't know if this is true, because I'm not a journalist and I'm like, shit up. I just kind of hear what I hear and then say it. He went to Sweden to show I think I don't know if this is true because I'm not a journalist I don't look shit up. I just kind of hear what I hear and then say it right. He went to Sweden to show that the

rape crisis was not the migrant crisis wasn't a big deal and he found that it was a very big deal. Really? Yeah. So now he thinks he's a conservative. Well, he's riding the wave. I guess so. He's trying to might be falling. fallen. He gets like a place. There's waves because there's rock. Yeah. Cause the bottom falls out, it gets smushed right up. Yep. All right, what else do you got? All right, so we have the world remembers George Michael today is supposed to be his,

would have been his 54th birthday. Yeah, so what do you guys think of the first time? I'm, what is he masturbating? Otto Arotic is his isphyxiation. What is that? Is that how he died? George Michael. George Michael. No, I thought he like, I thought his partner just found him like dead in bed. Isn't that how he went?

He was just dead when he was just dead. I think he was just dead when he was just dead. I don't know. I don't think he owe me. I don't think he owe me. I don't think he owe me. I totally don't know, I don't think he even a little bit. I don't think he owed deed, I don't think he, I fuck, I totally don't, I just like, oh yeah, George Michael died and I never really followed it up. I don't know. I thought he just found him dead.

Like, you know, I hate looking stuff up and then I love the show. The guy partying his ass off. If it's, we're talking about auto erotic as fixation, I got it out. Well, while you're looking that up, I'll just say whenever I was looking through Twitter to see what was going on recently You know find some new stories and I see the storage Michael thing and the first thing I think about is how

There was a guy on YouTube natural causes so it was auto erotic asphyxiation. That's what they say for code Anybody who's ever died of that's curking themselves off and choking themselves. They say Natural causes right the dinosaurs Somebody who's ever died of jerking themselves off and choking themselves, they say, it's natural causes, don't worry. The dinosaurs, they all got caught jerking off. Massive circle jerk. So have you guys either of you seen sexy sacks man? Yes, what's that? Oh yeah, yeah, I like that.

Or he's like, he doesn't like George Michael. Boo, there was a time where I wondered if that was you. Oh, it was me. That's phenomenal. Because LA, he was in you. Oh, it was me. That's phenomenal. Because LA, he was in LA. Yeah, he was like at the grocery store. Playing instruments, doing stuff that I wouldn't put that past you. I saw that and I wanted to get a sax just to play this over and over.

Yeah. A friend of mine, yeah, oh, it's so good. I think I've watched a video like 14 times. It's funny every time. Every time. It's funny every time. Because time. It's funny every time. Yeah. Cause everybody wants him to be there.

Yeah. There's no, you can't kick that guy out and be a good guy. Yeah. Like, yeah, he busted into like a military funeral. You guys are like, well, that's a good, I mean, it's fits. It's appropriate. And he had those leather pants on. He was just kind of like air humping.

It was good. No, that wasn't air, air humping. Yes, it was. And it don't be crass. That guy, he was just getting into the groove of the sacks. OK, maybe you're right. All right, what else have you got? OK, so we have the ugliest dog competition.

I like Lacey. Who won second place? I'm looking back up again. I'll just say I think Lacey is very pretty, but last time she was in here, she was talking about cats, and so I had to pull up a dog competition. Oh, great.

So listen, here's the one that won the ugliest dog competition. I don't think he's so ugly. He's just so massive. I wouldn't wipe my ass with that dog. But okay, so wait till I show you who the runner-ups were. It's gotta be a Chinese crested, right? What? They're always the most hideous dogs on earth.

That's impossible. Oh, yeah. No, they're all fucked up. Those things, I thought those things win like every year. And so how does a cute poof, like a, just a, just a question. Just a weird thing. China is a massive.

It's a massive. Let me see. That one, the world's ugliest dog. Yeah. No, they probably just didn't want to give it to that little fucking, those little rats. Like, the dog off the world's ugly as dogs. They probably just didn't want to give it to that little fucking those little rats like the dog off the sand live. Hercules that was a master.

That might be a that might be like a Brazilian or a and then look at this little dude. That thing's really jerk. Well, let me see that I can't see the mics in the way. Uh-oh. That dog should be thrown right in the middle. That's another one that's another crested. Yeah, they're always fucking. Why are the dogs so ugly?

Do you know? Why were they designed like that? Who the fuck knows? I, yeah. But God didn't create dogs people, then. They made them out of wolves. Why are they, why is that dog like that? Was like that Beetlejuice hairs sticking out of all.

Since the humor, I don't know how to discuss that. You're right, it does look like Beetlejuice. Beetlejuice. Chinese are a six sick people. A masterful one, what the hell? No, I don't get it. I don't agree with it. I don't get it.

That's shenanigans. Yeah, I agree. I thought it was a very bad move on them. I'm trying to find the next one. Oh, you got one more on it. Let's hear it. Oh, here we go. The Metz gave Tim Tebow a promotion.

He's playing... It's pronounced T-bow. Let's get it right. Let's get all the pronunciations on the show correct for once. Tim Tebow. Tim Tebow. Tim Tebow.

Tim Tebow. Tim Tebow. Tim Tebow. Tim Tebow. Tim Tebow. Tim Tebow. Oh, shoot. Tim Tebow.

Okay, let's go with that. Tim Tebow. Tim Tebow. It's not Tebow. No, let's go with that. Tim Tibo. Tibo. It's not Tibo? No, it's not Tibo. He's not a Frenchman. He's about as American as a guess. What is that?

Praying to Christ, me and Zone. So like, he gets shit on. Capernick does his stupid taking anything. And it's like offensive to call him out, but everyone in the goddamn world made fun of Tibo for doing it. Just a meme for pricing. I wanna see more of that shit.

I wanna see the whole team talk about how much they love God. I wanna see the NFL devolve into that. But I didn't even know he was playing baseball. He was playing baseball. Yeah, he's been, is he still praying? I don't know, I haven't even know he was playing baseball. Yeah. He's been is still praying. I don't know. I haven't been keeping up. Yeah. He's probably not giving that up. Well, if you ever cross his home plate, he should drop. Found you know, baseball's got to be an easier sport to to BS. So you played baseball. I played a lot of baseball. If you knew

it's a Tim T bow is moving on from the low a Columbia Fireflies to the St. Lucy for high a ball. I don't know what that means. Can you tell me what that means? Yeah. It means that God chose him to play professional baseball and not football. Because football is on American. But that's a promotion. But that's a promotion. Cap or Nick. Did he move up to, there's different levels of professional baseball and not football. Because football is on American. But that's a promotion.

And that cappernick. Did he move up to, there's different levels of professional baseball. Low A to high A. It's A through double D is the levels of baseball. Because I was thinking low A high A like this, like a scale. That's the first thing I thought of.

Like, you call it low A. It's baseball. They picked a letter that's got 26 other fucking letters and then they said, low. Yes, low A high. Like picked a letter that's got 26 other fucking letters and then they said, Oh, like, Hey guys, I got this idea of the grading system. We'll start with a, yeah, and then we'll go to low a.

No, you fucking idiot. And then other guys are like, Yeah, that's it. That's it. High and low a, and there was one guy who thought up, No, B. B.

Mm-hmm. So he's playing baseball now. He is playing baseball. I missed that guy. He's a, you know, I mean, he's been in their organization for like a year or so, I think. What organization? The Metz organization.

So, but when did he stop playing football? When did he stop? When nobody, I think he was on the, kind of the jet sign-in or something. He got released by like his last two teams. And then Rex Ryan's weird foot fetish voice mails got released. Oh, I know that though. It's doxing him.

Yeah. He's a wife or something. And then it was funny. It was a bad, it's talking about second on toes. Oh boy. That's like years ago though. That was before Tivo. Yeah.

Yeah. I don't know. I think like Mark Sanchez was still on the team then. But then he had like a try out with the page. It basically just football retired him. You know, he didn't stop playing. Foot, then that fucking sucks because he just didn't have no place hiding for season.

Yeah. Well, because it came out of nowhere. I think he was dead. He practically came off to stands. He was dead set on playing quarterback. Oh. And it was like you're not gonna play quarterback in this league. You're just not good on him. He was a Heisman quarterback. Oh, and it was like, you're not going to play quarterback in this league. You're just not good. He was a Heisman trophy winner at Florida,

I think. I still not good enough. But it was it just showed like his game just didn't translate to that. But he's an incredible athlete. And they said, man, you could like be a running back or he's an incredible Christian too. Yeah. That's what I just wasn't good enough for him. That just yeah. Yeah. I mean, there just wasn't. He's the kind of guy that I hope God does. That sounds kind of conceited. Wait, what did you say, James? That it just wasn't good enough for him.

He could have been a running back, a linebacker. Well, a lot of people. I know these terms. But he gets, he's up against some a lot of power. If he goes up, if he leaves that quarterback post. Is there something else that you don't get just like hammered at that's not quarterback? Kicker.

If I had a kid, I would make him a kicker. Might even try to do that. Really? Yeah, don't do it. No, why? Because you're gonna have a lot of fucking problems with your kids. Well, I'm not gonna have a kid, but I mean, I'm just saying hypothetically.

Yeah, if anybody's gonna turn their kid into a kicker, my advice is do not. That's how you will ingrain a lot of rage into that child. Yeah, but I already know so much about kicking. That they don't wanna do. Yeah. Well, it just seems like such a good role to be at

because they make a lot of money. And all they gotta do is just sit there and just all day. So it was a fucking realtor. What is, in this country, the worship of sports, yeah, yeah. Is and music, something that you have, a pastorist, such a slim, slim chance of ever being successful at mom. You're only saying that because you know how important music is to me.

No, I because it's like everybody, everybody says, oh, well, you got to learn an instrument. Mm hmm. Why? What is it? What am I learning this instrument for? If you want to, if it's fun, if it's enjoyable to you. If it's more fun than watching TV, but that's all it is, you know, it's not a calling.

You're not going out there solving fucking cancer by playing a guitar. You could probably raise money for it, but it's true. But there's somebody else out there raising money for anti-cancer. If you're doing it. And those are the Tim Pools of the world. Oh man, that fucking guy. Maybe I went a little out of control.

What? There? Yeah. No. It's all this whiskey talking. And then crosswords. I just don't get it. I don't get why these people all have the attitude of such massive cognitive dissonance,

where they did something and then they can't admit, like, yeah, I should have done a little more research. I was fucking around because it felt good to be famous and I kind of derelicted my duty to you as the consumers of news media. People want out as soon as it turns on them too. Oh, they want to be left alone. As soon as it turns on them too. Oh, they want to be left alone. As soon as it turns on them.

Yeah. Whenever things go in great, then it's, oh, this is great, but it's, people are real as I've, I'm used to being hated by everybody. Yeah. I've spent years being hated. And it doesn't bother me.

I don't care if this fucking guy doesn't like me. Doesn't matter. I'll be hated, I've been hated before. I'll be hated. St. Sent hints. H-A-T-I-N, Sean. H-A-T. All right, is that the end of the news?

I missed T-B-O. I hope he gets into politics. Ooh, that would be good. Have you ever heard of him speak though? Does he speak well? No. That's even better. That's not like an idiot.

He doesn't sound like an idiot, but he's very slow. Maybe that will work for him. Yeah, I'm Interesting though. He's no dubia. No, he's no dubia. He doesn't have the silliness or the charm. Yeah, or the catchphrases. What's your favorite W catchphrase? What's your favorite W quote? It's the, the, fool me once. Can't fool me again. Can't fool me again.

Can't fool me again. We can't get fooled again. It was a thing to fool again. The, yeah. The, the, who was your favorite? It was not for you. Um, I think it was holy shit. Is that guy gonna throw that shoe?

Is that a real quote? No. Let's see what it's up from. When the guy, when the Muslim threw the shoe at him. Oh, like the throw a minute or whatever Middle East. Sorry, I'm from Texas. No, he's got some like serious athleticism. What kind of shoes do you guys have? You guys have good first pitch. What's wrong with my shoes?

No, I want to know what kind of shoes you got on. Let's see. Oh my goodness. I could write a book on those shoes. Did you put up again? Yeah. What would the book be called? Uh, it would be called Hello, lady. Tell me you've had those. It would be called

a hand Texas like you didn't get those out here. No, no, I brought them with me. Yeah, see, that's cool to be walking down the LA. Yeah. All right. Thank you for doing the news. What makes you rage, by the way? I feel like the show's already gotten insanely long. Yeah, it is usually being a millennial makes me rage. Being one. Yes, being one. Why is it got fucked over by every single generation before you and you're expecting to take it up the edge? Not even that. No. It's that I don't relate. You don't relate to the I don't relate to the millennials. What what people think of as the millennials and what they make fun of all the different things that they say about them, I don't relate. And you know, the reason I, when I learned about generations,

it was in my high school marketing class. It was like a business marketing class. And that's where I learned that the whole idea of generations is just a marketing thing. It's not a real thing. Everything you hear is a marketing thing. I mean, yeah, that's the first thing I learned about that and after that, you learn that. But so that's where I learned that I was supposed to be generation Y, right?

OK. And so all this time, I go through my life about a year and a half ago, I look up because I hadn't heard anything about generation wise since maybe I was about 19, 20 years old. I'm 31 now. And so, so you're still living at home.

Let's go through the list. Still living at home. Don't buy a car because you don't want a car. Cocked, I got an awesome car. I got an awesome car. I got an awesome car. Cocked, I got an awesome car. I got an awesome car. I got an awesome car. I got an awesome car. I got an awesome car. I got an awesome car. I got an awesome car.

I got an awesome car. I got an awesome car. I got an awesome car. I got an awesome car. I got an awesome car. I got an awesome car. I got an awesome car. I got an awesome car.

I got an awesome car. I got an awesome car. I got an awesome car. I got an awesome car. I got an awesome car. I got an awesome car. I got an awesome car. I got an awesome car.

I got an awesome car. I got an awesome car. I got an awesome car. I got an awesome car. I got an awesome car. I got an awesome car. I got an awesome car. So they didn't though they just renamed it and so I found out about a year and a half ago that I'm a millennial Wait, so why a millennial or the same thing? I didn't know that anything is the same thing because it's make it up all a bunch of me That's shit because of these fucking sociologists Yeah, got money to sit in a room and just think up nothing. Oh, yeah There's a real science. There's a real science. Real science. The science of sociology.

That doesn't want to research IQ, but will research anything else. Oh, what about this one? What about this one data point that explains every single fucking thing that you have in life forever? A sociologist job is to make money with arguments to make everyone

and everything on the planet equal. Yeah. That's what their job is for. They really messed up because they made, they dictated the years before social media happened. So you've got this. We got a memory hole for that. Don't worry.

But we've got to just chop it up again and again. We have a, I call it a pocket generation of people who were born in like 1981 to 1986, and we did not have social media in high school. And I feel like that makes a big difference because it's having that social media during the formative years of your life that turns people into idiots.

Abs of fucking loot, Lee. And I don't, I don't know, I don't know if I was that. We're people into idiots. Abs of fucking loot. And I don't identify with that. We're always idiots. Yeah, but it were always fucking idiots. There are always idiots. There always will be idiots. It's just that I think there's a greater prevalence. It's easier to find these idiots and see these idiots

and see what they do. I think the social media, that's where I think that generations do exist too. And because when certain things, when technological advances happen, or something like that, like you said, all of a sudden, the prevalence of social media, that does change. Because I remember my space becoming a thing when I was 19. So I had already graduated.

So the pictures did you have on my space at that time? Oh, I had some pretty hot ones. Was shoes like that? No. I had some pretty good heels, but not like these though. Oh, okay. Yeah. That's a hot, that's a hot, my space. That's what they made my space for, Sean.

Just for that. Just for that. You were powering a $100 million business. And I didn't even know. And I didn't even know. Man, I really missed out. Classic millennial. Oh, come on. See, I really missed out. Classic millennial, missed it. Oh, come on.

See, that's the thing. I don't identify with them and I think it's. Who's them? Millennials. But like the version that they say on TV. Yes. That's not real. I know it's not real, but to everybody else it is.

And I have to just accept whenever people make fun of millennials, I have to just accept it as they're making fun of me, because technically they accept it as they're making fun of me because technically they are. But they're making fun of an idea. I know, but I have to identify with that, like, as far as when people look at the years, when they look back in time and look at the years of millennials, just like we talk about the greatest generation or the baby boomers, they're going to do that. And I am going to be on that list of millennials. And I don't agree with it.

Well, what do you mean, which part? You just have to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be generation and probably a lot of the gen X guys from doing too many crossword puzzles will be dead and you can just invent whatever horse shit you want because that's what they're doing. You think the baby boomers had anybody telling them what they were doing? No, they could do whatever they want because they had no parents at all. Their parents were going to work all goddamn day and covering them. They were just doing anything. They said I have to fucking do anything. So when they're all, when they're all, when all of them are gone,

when all the baby boomers who can't hold popcorn correctly, so they need QVC to be selling them popcorn troughs. So they get to eat out of it. When all of them are dead, you're like, we're just gonna scrub all this sociology shit. We're gonna wipe it off the goddamn map. And we invented the internet so we can do that. We're just gonna delete, delete, delete, delete, delete. And we're gonna make up all of our own shit. You're gonna wipe it off the goddamn map. And we invented the internet so we can do that. We're just gonna delete, delete, delete, delete, and we're gonna make up all of our own shit. You're gonna have pocket generate, you're gonna need to, you're gonna need to, you're gonna need to, and we'll have, we'll have found aliens by then.

So there will be, there will be the thing we can stereo tap. It's always gotta be something. But how would you feel if it was you? Would it piss you off? If people were talking shit about me. If you were on a lineal, would it make you feel bad about yourself? I don't know. Why? Why would it? But this is where it is.

Most sources. I haven't been told this. Most sources say that millennials, generation Y, are from the year 1981 to whatever it is. But notice I said most. Yeah. There are some sources that will define you as a millennial. Well, I think it's more about like the personality traits that they're saying that you body. I'm sure people in body Why cuz I don't want to be part of them. I don't you want me to be you want me to be a millennial? Yeah, fine. You don't care. I was gonna say that I'm care and I give you shit. The one thing you want All I care all I care about is that people are afraid to tweet mean things that me

Let me know how that's not yeah, that is very not millennial. I don't care what you call me As long as you're afraid to tell me to my face that that's what you called. Yeah, but from now on whenever you start because you like to make Millennials. I do not come on. I do Everybody on the show several times. I win if I ever made fun of Millennials. I think I'm harder on Millennials. You're harder on Millennials than I think millennials got to stick up for it. I'm duped. You do stick up for them sometimes, but then you also make fun of them sometimes. Oh, please, I make fun of everybody. Those baby boomers can't eat popcorn or you have a fucking trough. That's true.

Jen Exers is so angry that we can't get through a single day without being drugged up beyond our capacity for rational thought. This is everybody's got fucking problems. I just want an out of the silent generation can, either out of spite, doesn't want to buy hearing aids so they can just give a huge lump sum of cash to their kids who couldn't contain their ability to blow money like they're jerking off at a strip club on all the houses in the world.

Everybody's got fucking problems. I just want to know how it feels next week. That you're a millennial. When I'm a millennial? I don't get a fuck. We'll see. What do you think you're going to hammer me for that? Okay, Buffalo.

We'll see about that. Thank you, Jamie. Thank you for coming. Thank you. I have to. Was it a rage? Millennials being a millennial being a millennial, but you tried to flip it over on me. Like you don't think you You got a raid, Sean?

I'm thinking of Rage's next week. I'll bring one in next week. Okay. Alright, everybody, this has been the Dicks Show. Jesus Christ, a little long on this one. There you go. Yeah, I've got a Dicks.show. Paceround.com slash the Dicks Show.

See you next Tuesday. Presenting You think that would bug me being a morning? I think what I think wants to sink in it well. The next time you accidentally, yeah, cuz it means I'm 31. Is that young? I don't feel that young. Oh, honey, you weigh five years. Yeah.

And you'll, you'll murder a toddler to get one of those years back. Fucking heck. No lie. Yeah, and you'll you'll murder a toddler to get one of those years back fucking a No lie What you were you born in I was born in 77. Oh, so you're all this time. Yeah, I Missed him by I missed him by a month or so. I think that's tough. You were so legionics That make you proud Yeah, no, that's the,

makes me apathetic. Yeah, that's genetics. That's why he's definitely genetics. Yeah, fucking care. I'm so angry about it. And you think that makes you a gen X? Not caring. I philosophy.

I'm a millennial. Jamie. Yeah, okay. Yeah, I'm the, do the math. 80. 80 might as well be 81. I am a full on. I'm the oldest millennial on earth. That's my new fucking tagline.

I'm no longer America's wingman. I am now the world's oldest millennial. Aliens are gonna land like, I'm who's your oldest millennial? Right here, motherfuckers, and I'll watch them and fucking knock that alien right into stomach. Just to be, just to get on TV.

This fucking guy punched an alien right in this stomach just to be just to get on TV Guy punch the alien right in the stomach. Yeah You might be whatever you you're the aliens. You should have known that I was gonna do that Okay There's Mattie P on the road I'm sorry the people's like a little on a stick. Yeah, it's close to you It's just a cat You see I couldn't put Sally a lot of dick. Yeah. It's cool, dude. It's just a catch. You barely any different king, people lose their shit about how he's so deep and insightful and inspiring.

He just talks backwards. He hasn't done much of the stuff. He's like Yoda. Yeah, or Phil Jackson. Oh, I'm sorry, I've been charged. I've been a lot more than Phil Jackson. Like a reference. Yeah.

Hey, the fucking dolly llama. No, he's super deep. He's like, no, his brain just doesn't work right. I have a question. No, he just never had a job. So he just believes shit that's stupid. That's why. Because he's just never has to think ever.

When he was a kid, a weird cult takes him and brain washes him into being the biggest asshole on earth. And then they use him as a walking, fucking marketing campaign, just like the goddamn pope to build donations to what is it like? Is it Tibetan Buddhism? Is that where the Dalai Lama's from? I wonder why they would need attention. Going up against China.

What are you gonna say, Jamie? I'm just always been curious, but never looked it up. And I feel like I'm going to ask this and feel like an idiot. Dolly Lama, is that a role or a name? That's a, it's a, like the Pope. Okay. That's what they call it. It's a title.

So there's other people who have been Dolly Lama's. Yes. Yeah. What's his name? His name's Robert. Robert? Robert DeLama. Robert Alpaca, Robert. Robert DeLama. Robert Alpaca.

Yeah. Robert Jerkoff. Do we think it'll make like a boy kind? I can't read the only one who thought who wondered that, right? No, they want him to be a mystical thing. Yeah. That's why they, that's why they always say it like that. Yeah.

DeLama. DeLama. DeLama. DeLama. DeLama. DeLama. Just shows up. Although he was pro Trump. Oh he was yeah He said refugees should go back to their country and figure their own shit out pay attention to my stuff. Yeah, oh exactly I got fucking duped by the llama you're right you're right. Hey everybody's they said the fuck the the Tibetan monaster is called up to Dali Lama and said, Hey, we're losing a lot of dough and attention to these fucking refugees.

Can you do something about that? So he goes, no problem. Goes on TV. Yo, what's up? Dali Lama here. Kiss my cock. All these refugees got to go home. You got it.

Everybody's got to start. I got to start doing free Tibet. Remember that? Remember all the Buddhist stuff and the robes and the old man with the glasses. That's what you guys got to come back to. Fuck this, fuck this, refugee thing. Too much money. That could be mine.

I'm glad you're brought up Alpac, so they have better hair. All right, look, it's, it's Nadir. You shick you. All right? You can't blame it on Madooks this time. All right Okay, so you know Zenith and As much sound kind of similar to the both them from the same Arabic word Al-Famad sounds like summit, you know

Like it kind of come from the same word word and Not your Al-Famad Where Nate here comes from one talk of okay like kind of come from the same word and now you're all from off so where nature comes from one fuck up okay the thought of the bottom okay me imagine of Tim pool was

rejected this level of scrutiny because I fucked up and I said as a month is the same thing as you know and he's like a he's like a linguist or something I just an asshole I was calling in the Congress. I don't know messing on on

Nadir. That's the thing. It's the llama. Go fuck yourself. Okay, this guy. This fucking jerk off here. You know, this is not from California. I was listening to your story about not finding a place to bang uh... circle when you are vacation and i'll buy you but fucking every place is a place to bang when you're on the you don't know about me

i know family fucking can be the biggest cock blocks of all because i have a lot of you know mom so she she would definitely all the time here mom but worse But it's worse. Like it would be a much worse fucking situation. But turn to the point of the bank. You got your shower. You got a fucking, you know, like your car.

If there's a car available, like, I don't know. OK, first of all, we were in a room that didn't have a shower. 80s, girl and I. It was the a room that didn't have a shower. 80s girl and I. It was the only room that didn't have a shower. So the shower was the community house shower, which was right next to the family room. So I think it would be a little suspicious. Yeah. If we just both walked in there and hopped into the shower,

and then the next thing you know, picture frames were getting knocked off the wall. I don't think that's going to, secondly, I didn't rent a car. the shower and then the next thing you know picture frames were getting knocked off the wall. I don't think that's going to secondly, I didn't rent a car when we went on vacation. My brother in law rented a car and I didn't want to get a bunch of stink in his car. You know what I'm talking about. I think everybody knows what I'm talking about. So let's hear the other bright ideas that you've got. So you spend all this time at the gym fucking put that shit to work right? And I don't know. If you fucking like grew up like. I like to pretend that I have an East Coast go to action like a spidey sense like a fucking six cents to know i do have a parent or when your mom is coming

like no they're talking about your mom in uh... college i was visiting my parents uh... that's where is off when you haven't let the home a recent house even as a millennial with the chick at like three in the morning right while my parents were allegedly asleep on the second floor in the rooms and I kick you now like we started banging right and like halfway through I just got this like like it's like a superpower I I just can feel disturbance in the force. Then what happened? Usually like step on the very thing. Hold on. It comes a break.

It comes a break. It comes a break. It comes a break. It comes a break. It comes a break. Like fucking put my foot. Like put my foot. Like put my foot.

No, just get your clothes on. It comes a break. Like put my foot. No, just get your clothes on. It comes a break. Like put my foot. No, just get your clothes on. It comes a break.

Like put my foot. No, just get your clothes on. It comes a break. Like put my foot. No, just get your clothes on. It comes a break. I'm fucking hop on the couch turned on some shitty TV show right as my mom opened the fucking door to basically I came down What are you doing? It's mom's the man Yeah He's kind of honed at the skills All right great story though I'll be sure to always think go fuck yourself great

Scorning except for all these stupid holes I've felt this That's condescending itself. The most condescending guy who's probably just out of college. His big claim to fame is that he knew when his mom was in a walk, so he didn't come. Guess what? I just powered right through it. Who's the fucking loser now? Not you.

Both of us is the answer. Because our sex lives. We're having a us is the answer. Because our sex lives. We're having a relationship in the basement. Oh, man. Everyone's mom is the mad hat here. Yeah. Two more, two more, two more.

Hi. I just wanted to call and tell you that I respect you so much. That's right. I'm so glad there's so many men that are so small and out there. Sounds like I'm about to be assaulted. Actually, I just want to say we're a book that Niktal has actually helped me realize how crazy women are, how crazy actually, you know,

I guess the past I have been and it actually helps to correct my behavior and it also helps me not only with certain females that have a really bad situation. So I just want to say thank you because it helps me as a woman. As this whole movement, I've been doing a lot of research. I just want to say that I respect you. Thank you. Thank, thank you. Oh, thank you. Thank you. Good.

Sean, I'm correcting behavior. Yeah. It's hard to do. Oh, yeah. I mean, say, yeah, yeah, as a whole manual written, I'll do that. I'm just doing it on the fly. Yeah. They should hire me.

You read a book. I should write a second book. Correcting behavior. If I take my sex set. I want to hear that preamble. Okay, wait one more. One more. Hey, what's up, Big? I was going back to the biggest problem in the universe and I have a little throwback rage for you here. Okay. The female orgasm. Yeah. A stop one.

I don't think you've ever experienced this. Look, because I'm a man. I'm right now. Who refuses to have orgasm. Oh. And I don't mean that I can't bring her to orgasm. And I don't mean that she's not kick full of having orgasm. Yeah, I know.

I'm saying that she literally refuses. Well will like stop me and pull my hand away They keep it themselves like shut her brain off when she's like approaching an orgasm because she's like Embarrassed that she's gonna have something as they keep their power. Yes. Yes. I have This is fucking crazy. I mean I have anyone relate to it But yeah, uh, maybe our guys have big fucking problem. It's the last thing they keep from you that precious orgasm, you know what I'm talking about? They do it, they do it too.

They know they can keep it, they can hold it like a carrot. This is never happening, you know? That seems, I mean, like seriously speaking, doesn't it seem like some deep-seated psychological issue? No, it's just, you know, it's just yucks, just yucks. It's just yucks for them. They're just like, yeah, it's funny. Because it works, their orgasm works differently.

It's like a wave. R's is like an exponential graph. Yeah. What if you trap that graph off at the end, you will go crazy. But theirs is like like this. That's what I've learned. Am I doing this on camera like this? Yeah. And they so they can hold it. They can hold it from you. It's like a choose your own adventure that never ends. This never happening. No. No woman has ever not like refused to come in front of me. I bet no woman has ever not come in front of you.

I don't know. What if they faked it? Would you be pissed off? Yeah, but you should, you should be able to tell. Yeah, I think so too. Yeah. You should, you're not, you're not 19. Have you, have you, have you, should be able to tell? No, you promise? Okay, good.

No, holding off. I'm gonna try to do that. It must be something to it, right? I've had enough. I'm gonna go to sleep now. So you're ready? Yeah, yeah, I've had enough. Yeah.

Please stop or I'll call the police. Don't touch, I revoke my consent. Yeah. That's it. All right. Jamie, do you want to plug anything? Like fitness Arnold Schwarzenegger's fitness across America. I have a video that I'm about to post in my Instagram of me doing pull-ups at muscle beach. A lot of people are going to be interested in that video. Yeah. Yeah. What's your Instagram? Jamie Lynn underscore bikini pro. Okay. Jamie Lynn underscore bikini pro. Okay. Second place.

Dump. I've drunk too much again. All right. Thanks for listening.