The Dick Show - Episode 60 - Dick on Nazi Pugs

Episode Date: July 25, 2017

Count Dankula: The Nazi Pug Guy, big-leaguing at the symphony, praying for bluetooth, Aspartame Alarmists, The Argument Tamagotchi, the worst part about prison, a Comic-Con prank, child free and happier than can be conceived by mortals, the press, Asterios' band, my simple plan to stop the next Hitler, a lost box of guns, Jamie Lynn talks about spanking, farting on airplanes, brainwashing, a gerry-rigged air conditioner, why Comic-con is a gigantic waste of money, booth-based ToS violations, sensible chuckle-fests, dealing with blackout guilt, and a disagreement with Sean; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!

Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa I'm your host, Dick Masterson. With me is always Sean, the audio engineer. Hello, Dick. Hey, what's up, buddy? Joining us today, special guest appearance by Buffalo Bill, news, news, babe, the greatest, the second best news, babe in the biz. That's me. Jamel and Hughes, I think you are. I was hoping you'd be ranked number two overall. Under, I think key on Magania's on top on the board. I'm pretty far down, actually. I'm pretty far down actually. You're pretty far down.

Are you number two when it comes to women? No. Are you number two when it comes to people with three names? I know. Maybe we got a Mark David Christiansen up there. I think I'm above him. He may be either right above me or right below. Oh my God.

That's too bad. That's parted out. Are you breaking, are you above Cernovich? Are you above Mike Cernovich? I don't think so. Contentious guests. No, I don't think so. You don't think so, you're under him?

Uh-oh. Well, good luck today. Yeah, I know. The coldest, I gotta add, the coldest studio, I was hoping to say the coldest studio in Los Angeles, but I think I already fucked that up. We got, I brought in an air conditioner to stop the, to stop the disgusting amount of sweating, like I'm a luchador while conducting this podcast for anybody watching the video.

It's a man soaked in sweat and underground bunker. Worse than, I think when, when they told Hitler that he was losing the war Probably sweat less than me every week Just coming up with things to be pissed off about. Yeah, I thought I thought we would stop it. I got the finest I've put together I put my Mind at a 100% to try to fix this problem. That's all you can do Sean rest of us 52% But I think was what you kept out I tried hard, I really tried hard.

And what I ended up with is a aneurysm, yeah, an aneurysm, and an air conditioner with cardboard boxes and tubing, and that floppy tubing taped onto it. I see the Amazon Prime Box. Amazon Prime Box taped around where the duct comes out. I used my whole ass for this. 100%.

This is what you end up with. Something that looks like a child assembled it to make a robot costume, where the help from his drunk dad, who is himself half-assing it. We have the awesome O version. The awesome O 4000 air conditioning unit for the Dick Show studio.

It is blowing the no step on snack flag though. Ooh. Fake. That's how you know it's faked. Yeah. Blowing. But you know, we'll see. I guess somebody measured the sweating

that goes on in the studio. Okay. Okay. Tell you what makes me a rage. This week, we got see. I guess somebody measured the sweating that goes on in the studio. Okay. Okay. Tell you what makes me a rage. This week, we got a guy calling in, later in the show, who is, who's going to jail, because he taught his dog, he taught his girlfriend's dog how to give a Nazi salute.

Really? Yeah. He recorded it, put it up on YouTube, the dog just making a little joke, you know, now he's gonna jail. We have to talk about this. He's gonna be calling in. I think a stereo is some more of the fanboys around too to talk about catgate.

Oh, really? Yeah. I know. Are they friends at this point? Frynamies. What is a friendship really? It's just two guys commiserating over being wronged by the same woman. What better friendship is that what is a friendship really? It's just two guys commiserating over being wronged by the same woman.

What better friendship is that? Now it's a stereo. They've both been wronged by the same woman. I mean, I don't know, kind of. Is it like she's, they're both disavowing her. Okay. She's calling both of them out. Uh huh.

That's what better friendship could there be than that? Well, you don't know. Well, you don't know. No, you don't know. I don't. All right, I'll tell you what makes me rage. Went to the symphony this week. Check this out. This is kind of cool.

There is, you can go watch the symphony practice in like normal clothes for free on Thursday, like nine in the morning. Did you go to the Disney? No, the Hollywood Bowl. Oh, you did, okay. Yeah, because they're do, yeah, to the Disney? No, the Hollywood Bowl. Oh, you did, okay. Yeah, because they have the, right, the LA Thil. Yeah.

Yeah, they have their things all summer long. It's weird watching them play in normal clothes. Yeah, I don't like it. Yeah, my guy, you guys could dress up for this, still. Yeah. Yeah. But when we're there, they got everything, they got everything roped off because the big spenders

can come and they could sit wherever they want. But if you're one of the poor people, or the people who forgot that there would be access for people that are big donors and just forgot to say, yes, I am, like me, then you get to sit in the little cattle pen area, where you are fucking surrounded by children and chattering Asian tourists. It is like playing a game of mind sweeper going to enjoy a nice as soon as the tuxedos come

off these people, it is all access not one not one manner to share among the entire herd at this event. You're sandwiched. We're sandwiched in between chattering children who just want to go home because there could be absolutely no reason to expose your kid to a practice symphony, right? What are they getting out of this? Yeah. Absolutely nothing. Then you've got behind us, I've got Asian tourists constantly, constantly chattering it,

like as big as a stereotype as it was in the 80s, they saw it and they're like, oh yeah, that's what we should do more of. Taking pictures so the fucking guys come over and tell them not to take pictures, which they see going on around them all the time. It's probably all family and friends of like the first violin. And they stuck on it. No, because they may be with the rich people. But they're back with us.

That's true. I don't know what you have to talk about during a symphony. Nobody knows what's going on. There's nothing to talk about. Nobody knows who's what. Nobody knows what it's supposed to mean. It's just a symphony. Something that's just something that everybody listens

to to feel smart. Not one person's getting anything out of this, which made me think now, whenever people start talking about music, like pop music, I'm only gonna talk about classical music. Like the biggest asshole on earth. Yeah, derail. Yeah.

It's good idea. As soon as they bring it up, hey, so I don't know, Jamie, you're in the music. Give me something musical. Um, like pop related? Well, anything. Fettie-wop. Fettie-wop.

I don't know, it's something that I hear people talk about all the time. I don't really like that kind of music, but, um, you know what I don't like? Broke music. Mm. Broke. Yeah. Mm-hmm. Baroque. Baroque. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, too many notes, in my opinion.

Not enough legato. The themes don't develop quickly enough for my taste. Oh, I see. Yeah, all I'm gonna do, anytime I hear anybody say anything about music, I'm just gonna be. And this. Oh, every fucking time, I'm gonna say anything about music. I'm just gonna piss. Oh, every fucking time. I'm gonna go research classical music

for the rest of my life, just so I can reference it. I'm gonna listen to it obsessively, so I'm gonna make myself love it. So that for the rest of my life, I can just talk about it with like a fake superficial passion. Did you see that movie the other guys? What's that? With Mark Wahlberg and I love that movie.

I know, it's a great movie. Funny. The trailers were fucking awful. Like they made it seem like that was such a dumb movie. All these cliche lines. Yeah. It was fucking funny. But he learns to, Mark Wahlberg learns to dance

so he can make fun of the kids who dance. Oh yeah. Yeah, he like dances incredibly, you know what? I'm gonna do that. Yeah. I mean, like, part of me thinks that I just learned to play music at all just to, like just to shit on it. Just so when people say how hard it is,

it's like it's not that fucking hard. There's nothing magical about it. Well, don't listen to this con artist, but nobody believes you if you don't know how to do it. So you gotta know how to do it. Yeah. You understand? Well, I'll lend you credibility a little bit. But then, yeah, depends how good you get. how to do it. Yeah, you understand? Well, it's a little, well, lend to your credibility a little bit.

But then, yeah, it depends how good you get. At knowing about music, it just depends how good you get it playing about it. Playing it. I promise, I'm gonna get real good about knowing about it. That's all I'm gonna do. I'm gonna dedicate the rest of my life. I'm gonna read about it.

Just, just, just, just, just so in that moment, just to ruin a conversation at a party. So I can step in with my classical music knowledge. I admire your dedication. Which I know none of right now. I'm just making it up. All that shit I said to you is I'll just made up. I have no idea if it's true.

All I know now is what I learned from watching Amadeus. Oh, yeah. The kids, man. They really ruin it. But don't you think that those are the parents who are trying to be kind, bringing their kids to the one during the day and not to the actual No, I think they just I think they're the type of moms that need something to do and That are they're always like cramming experiences down their kids throats

But those experiences cost everybody yeah a lot I think if it was me, I would rather see them at the free performance than the one that I paid to get into. Yeah. I have read a lot of people complaining about children at the orchestra. Really?

Where you read that? Child-free. Child-free. Child-free on red. One of those magazines that tries to convince people not having kids is a good idea, even though everything in their body wants to do it. Strings and snobs. Never seen those things.

Like why being child free is so great. And it's got like two, like a, the beautiful man and woman in their, in their late 30s, just like with the biggest smile in the world, it's like, I'm not, I, I didn't make a mistake. That's the whole, I didn't, I didn't, I didn't waste my fertile period. This is what I, this is exactly what I want. Look at all these things I have. You ever seen those articles? Yeah, sure.

A lot of them. It's weird. It makes me feel bad for not having a kid when I read those. I'm like, I don't wanna be one. Just looking at the stock photo picture of that couple, I'm like, I don't wanna look like that. Like I don't wanna, these people are happy. It looks really silly.

That, yes, it looks like a sales ad. And it's written in like a magazine, but it looks like a fucking ad. When I look at it, I'm like, that's a stock photo. This is the branding message. I wanna see people who are miserable. That's what I want. Real people.

Yeah. If anybody says that they're happy, it's not real. You're not a real thing. I never believe in companies. I know. I know. I know these articles about people trying to explain why it's okay that they've done this, why it's a good thing.

Trying to overcompensate, make everyone believe that they're happy. Yeah. For me, it's not necessarily about that. It's more like, what do you mean from? What, because I don't want to have kids. You don't want to have kids. But it's not about what I want to have from it

from not having them. It's what I don't want to deal with in my life. And it's. And ruining people's symphonies. It's the screaming and it's the mess. And Larry told me that you don't mind when it's your kids. Well, that's what he told me. Larry has kids and he's too late to abort.

That's a big gamble to just be like, oh, I heard that it's cool once they're yours. I have no idea. I don't know, it does seem like that. It does seem like people, I've seen people have kids who you go, there's no way they'll put up with having kids and somehow they put up with having kids and you kind of amazed at their patience. It feels good to be miserable.

You know, if you give, if you show me a picture of this, of that child, child free and loving it, like, you're selling me a con, a time share with this fucking ad versus like a, a, a, a promo poster for like Malcolm in the middle. And how the dad from Malcolm in the middle, he looks like he wants to eat a bullet. I'll pick that guy. I wanna be that guy. I don't wanna be the stock photo couple.

I don't know why. Is something wrong with it. I don't know, maybe it's just me, but still we gotta hurt these people with these kids bringing them in. That's why I think that's why they made smoking illegal because of the kids, right? Because all that we have to do to get rid of them is just turn smoking and turn smoking everywhere back on.

Let's get it going again. No one's gonna take their kid to a bar restaurant where you could smoke at. Well, you'd be surprised. Oh, those would be the worst kids too. Mm-hmm. They'd probably hit. Yeah. All right.

I don't know, but it was, it was miserable. They'd probably take up an instrument just so they could shit on music. You know what you gotta do is you gotta give him the side eye and the, the big... And then wait a couple of days and somebody will be writing about you on the mommy blog. You think that would work in LA, side eye and sign? No, but it would give you a good laugh out of their angry mommy blog over it. Your real name blogs? When they're angry, yeah, I get a kick out of them.

How they get pissed off. Let's see. Tell you what else makes me a right blue tooth. Oh, okay. Man, you try to connect a blue tooth thing to anything and you are going to have a bad time. Anything. Speaker, car, mouse, mouse, anything. And it's the point where if I see wireless on something, I just know to discount whatever that feature is. Okay. Cause it's never gonna work.

The Bluetooth, never, it's an endless succession of rebooting, rebooting, and then starting over and rebooting in a different order. Why? Why is it like that? Walkie talkies works every time. In out, in out, in out. It's fun. A child can use it. Nobody can use Bluetooth. The guy that invented it can't even use it. Can't connect it to shit. That's what happened in religion in this country. No, we don't have time for it anymore what happened in religion in this country? No, we don't have time for it anymore

because we're spending hours every day praying that a device works so that you don't start having a sweatshirt break down in front of your family and friends. Cause it's not working. Let me just, hey guys, let me just show you this. Yeah, of course, of course it connects to your phone. Of course you can play music through your speakers from your phone check this out Bluetooth It's not working. Oh

Well, just don't mind me. I'm just gonna have a breakout of failure sweats over here Please God please let this Bluetooth fucking thing work. As other people start gathering around to try to help, don't look at it. Four people around a fucking iPhone, trying to go to the right breath. Your ears start getting hot because you feel the breath. No, stop.

Stop looking at my thing. You everybody knows why it's not working because these things never work. It's not my fault. It's not my fucking fault, please God. Every time. Every time. You need an my fault. It's not my fucking fault. Please God. Every time. You need an ox cable. Here we go. And this is just makes us hate each other because you start here and shit like that. What you need is an ox cable. That's what I carry around.

Like no, what I need is a Billy club so I could smack you with it because I'm doing this for you. That's why I'm doing this for your enjoyment Yeah. That's why I'm doing this. For your enjoyment. But if I were an audiophile, I would say that the sound is better anyway, through an ox cable. You need an ox cable. Yeah, I do. If you want it, you need to carry it around. Oh, let's leave it here.

Show yourself with it. So you can show yourself with it, yeah. What else do I got? Jamie dropped a dog. Oh yeah? Oh my God. Oh hi. Dropped a dog. Oh yeah. Oh my god. Dropped a dog. Dropped a dog. You know what?

You've seen that before. Really? Straight up dropped a dog. Just dropped a dog. Yeah. I have to know more. Yeah, the terrible moment. Yeah.

How the dog reacts? I just wanted you to hold him. The dog was traumatized. Uh, this, this, this, what kind of dog? I don't know. It was like a little puppy. It was a puppy. Very cute puppy. I'll squirm me It was like a very cute, very cute puppy.

All squirmy and stuff. Yeah, but not that. You probably about six months old, like a white German shepherd almost. Yeah. This lesbian couple thought that they hit the jackpot. Now it bites. Because Jamie ran over there, ran up to him and said,

oh, can I touch your dog? Yeah. And they're like, oh, can I touch your dog? Yeah. And they're like, oh yeah, they're like luring her in with this dog, like holding it way too low. I don't know what lesbians want touched, but imagine it's the same thing we all do. So Jamie lunges out like a Venus fly trap

and just grabs sinks her claws into the dog dog and yanks it out of there. And the dogs are freaking out. The dog instantly, didn't want to be scared. Instantly was the awareness that not only did it not want to be there, but it had no idea how to get out of this situation. And because it was held, for some reason,

Jamie was holding it by the hips like a ballerina. when you hold it, like don't put baby in the corner, that the dance that Patrick Swayze and, uh, there's too much effort to raise. Yeah. The reason they practiced it for so long is because it's difficult to do, but not for Jamie. She goes right in and stabs at the hips of this puppy. Yeah. Grabs it. And the puppy looks at me. I was there. Yeah, the puppy looked right at me and it's like, hell, mother of God. What have I, what have I done? Yeah. And I was like, yeah, this is the first time that you,

this is the first time you're experiencing this, right? This tremendous fear and disappointment. Get used to it. Get used to it, buddy. Like I saw the first emotion. The first time this creature had ever had this emotion, I saw it first, like form behind its eyes, tear it. Just before or after its cranium hit the concrete. No, we didn't, I saved him.

No, I saved him. Oh, okay. It went, it started wriggling like a serpent. Mm. And for some reason, I don't know, Jamie, if you were putting all your mental effort into grabbing the dog and loving it, her legs dropped out like a puppet, like a marionette. I was trying to make sure he did not hit the pizzeria. She's like an outfielder, right?

In the World Series, trying to do anything to catch this ball when they don't have to fall down, but they do just because they want their entire body to be the glove. You know what I'm talking about? Where it's like, you could have just caught it, but they're just being so careful and collapsing like a crumple zone. Your entire body was a crumple zone for this dog that's wildly freaking out. Everywhere.

You cushioned the blow. I did. Like one of those big inflatable things that they have. I never, have you ever seen one of those? The suicide jump? Like I guess, yeah. Have you ever seen the fireman pull one of those out? Like in lethal weapon where they got that big pillow?

I'm trying to think if I've ever seen one in person. I mean, I've seen on TV a lot. They're a myth. Yeah, are they a myth? What do you mean? I've never seen one in real life. No, I've seen on TV a lot. They're a myth. Yeah, are they a myth? What do you mean? I've never seen one in real life. No, I've never seen one in real life. I've never seen like a suicide jumper.

There was one, I thought it was gonna be a big deal. All these people jumping off buildings and all these cops coming out and like talking them down. I thought that was gonna be a big deal and we grew up but I've never seen it once. Never seen it one time. I've never seen anybody try to talk down a suicidal person. Yeah, what a rip off. Huh I've never seen it once. Never seen it one time. I've never seen anybody try to talk down a suicidal person.

Yeah, what a rip off. Huh, they should set it up. I'm sure it happens. Just for fun, those guys, if those guys jobs exist, I would think they would be paying people to go up there and, you know, just to prove that they got something to do. Anyway, that's what I felt like with you

saving that dog. So it tells you I saved him, not you. I mean, okay. What do the lesbians do? Oh, they were horrified. Really? Yeah. And I felt happy about that, because I thought, ah, that's what you get. That's what you get for thinking with whatever you got to think with.

If I walked up to you and said, hey, bitch, give me that dog and start stabbing it, you would say, get the fuck away from me. You sweaty, weird man. We don't want anything you've got. Jamie walks over there and they're like, oh, of course, a fellow woman. What could, this is the sisterhood here. Of course, you can touch our dog. N-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n They were horrified. They were horrified, right?

They were horrified, right? Because I was so just despondent over that. Yeah. And then they went to, they went to eat right next door. They walked in and sat down and they both, they both sat down and shielded their eyes. So they don't have to look over. They kept themselves between the dog and her.

I know that you know that they had a fight about it later. You think so? Oh yeah. Because one of them was more eager to let you know. Yeah, because I got in there. He was like, why did you let that bitch hold our dog? You, I bet you wanted to whatever. You just wanted to look at her.

You just wanted to siss her the shit out of her. Something like you know that they would, they're gonna have, they're having that fight right now. Probably still, probably broke up over it. There's a custody battle for the dog. One of them's gonna kill the dog now. I don't get him. Oh my god. If I can't have it, nobody can.

Dude, when 80s girl was dead, you killed a shepherd puppy. When 80s girl was getting the restraining order, the paperwork, it had multiple sections for like dog custody. There were multiple people in the waiting room for custody of a fucking dog. I'm sure. I get it.

I'm sure. You get it. Would you fight for custody of a fucking dog. I'm sure. I get it. I'm sure. You get it? Would you fight for custody of a thing? Okay, the women are nodding their heads. What would you think about a guy who's fighting that? Makes sense, just give her the fucking dog. What are you? This is a real thing that we're paying for.

So people can squabble over custody of an animal. Sean, people get animals together a lot, I guess. Mm-hmm. Yeah, smart. My brother-in-law got my sister dog, multiple dogs. Yeah, he really tied her down like Gulliver and a lily put land with those dogs, with those Christmas puppies.

Remember those dogs? How you gonna leave a Christmas puppy? Do they have dogs now? They got one dog. They got one, Jesus Bazz. You know, I got so mad at my sister, because this dog, they got this Labredoodle mix, which is like a,

it actually like a... Aboriginal labs are dead now, right? Those, the ones that I've known from, yeah. Yeah, they died. Yeah, they died. Yeah, they died of this, this heartworm medication. Well, he's so hurt that no, both of them. They moved and they both,

they both got knocked out right away. Both of them, yeah. One was, I mean, one was probably, he was older anyway, wasn't he? One was older, so it didn't seem weird, but then the next one was fine. Next one, yeah. The next one,

this is kind of sad. The next one, they'd late lost the next one was fine. Next one, yeah. And the next one, uh, this is kind of sad. The next one, they'd late lost the next one. The day my, my second nephew was born. Yeah. Like, dad came home from the hospital and dog was out. Yeah. And it was the medication, right? And there's like some kind of class action suit

or recall on that. Yeah. Yeah. And weirdly, that nephew runs around, he runs around on all fours and barks a lot. Like a soul was, yeah. A soul went into the baby. Well, that can happen.

So that's nice at least. It's been studied. Yeah. No, they got a new dog. It's a lab or do it on. It looks like a horse with fur. He stopped pissing on the couch yet. That thing, I don't know if it's just living in like a, an, an house of insane people.

I mean, the kid, the kid, the kid who barks. No, he still, he still does no. The kid who barks. No, he still does that. But that dog's got to be so fucking keyed up. So it's one of, it just barks. Like it barks non-stop. Outside, inside, the second they put it out. And I don't know if my sister's like dead

to the noise of barking just because she's in such chaos all the time. But the last time I was over there, I had to, I had to shout until, I had to shout at her until she got physically on the phone on Amazon and ordered one of those barking callers. Yeah. Cause it was driving me insane.

Like you were having a, we're having my usual techniques of, you know, logical and impassioned stating my case in the form of shouting, in the form of passive aggression was working. It was like every time, every time I'm in a conversation over there, every 10 seconds, rip, rip, rip, I'm like, I'm barking at anything or what? I'm barking to come in. I don't know.

They bark for attention. The barking was nonstop. So my, hey, she's just sensitized to it. Kids, noise. You hear this? Yeah. You hear what's going on here? Tuned out.

You hear what's going on here? Yeah, well, every time, it was, yeah, well, you know, what are you gonna do? Yeah, well, you know, it's driving, it's driving everybody insane. Those other two dogs were really well-behaved. They were. Because they got raised with no kids around.

Right. So they got plenty of discipline and attention. That's true. But man, that kid dog, it's just like sacrificing a dog to the gods. Like, oh, we got kids, let's bring in a dog. It was a fucking feral animal for 15 fucking years. Fucking Tinder, where these kids detourch with their intention and turn and scramble their fucking brains. I finally just had to go, hey, right now, right, right, right the fuck right now.

I don't want later. This doesn't have to be a conversation. Get the phone out and order, order the thing. I want to see it. Open your mouth. I want to see that you swallowed this pill that I'm giving you because this has got to stop this shit. You say it was a levered doodle?

Yeah. Yeah. That's good. It's a doodle part. Yeah. That's the insanity part. Yeah. The doodle.

The poodle part of it. Well, science has got a cure for that. Yeah. So I'm the asshole. The electricity. I was the asshole for whatever amount of time. Is everybody would just sit with it. But the problem got fixed. Yeah.

That's all that's important. Oh, oh, yeah. We'll see if it'll bark right through it though. No, they don't. Yeah. They don't. They stopped right away. Remember, you and I were drunk one time at my sister-in-law's house.

Yeah. We put that thing on. We were barking. Yeah. We were barking, didn't it, to shock us? It was funny. Yeah, it was funny. And I didn't want to bark anymore after a couple of times. Like, I mean, it gives you, you notice it.

I mean, you know it's there. You know it's drunk. Yeah. And I got to think that like being a dog is kind of like being drunk all the time. Yeah, yeah. So it's kind of not quite understand what's going on, but it'll know that, yeah, everybody loved it. But now, yeah, we were kind of a big hit.

Anybody, anytime series is, oh, it's cruel. I've been swept by it plenty of time. Yeah, we did it intentionally. Fine. It was no less painful than any other interaction I've ever had with anybody in my life. It's fine. I've never worn one of those, but I did a trip over

one of the electric fences that people line their fences with to make sure their dogs don't dig out. I did trip over one of those one time when I was like 14 years old. Oh yeah, I mean, it wasn't that bad. No, no, no. It surprised me. I grabbed one as a kid. They put them on top of like cow pins and stuff like that.

I feel like if people can spank their kids, they can fall asleep. Oh, it doesn't hurt as much as getting spanked. Yeah. Did you get spanked? Yeah. As a kid? How often? Not that often.

That was the good kid. A little sister was one who's. She got spanked all the time. Did it work? I think so. I think we turned out pretty well. Yeah, I mean, but did it, is it because of this fanking? I can tell that for you. I want to know how much I'm allowed to think about. Yeah, I mean, but did it, is it because of this fanking? I can tell it for you.

I want to know how much I'm allowed to think about how long is the last time you got spanked. 26. Oh, wait, team. That's cool. Too young. Fuck. I can tell you that it was a, like a deferent deterrent for me to want to do anything bad because I did not want.

Yeah. I mean, so with getting your arm chopped off though, right? That would be a pretty big turn. So we're two intense. Yeah, I think you got this. I didn't get spanked, you got spanked? Yo, yeah, my parents didn't even tell me no. Really?

They had this weird, not surprised at all. No, they hit my mom read some weird book about how you shouldn't tell your kids no. Yeah. So what did she tell you? She framed the she told my wife to this. She said, Hey, job. Great job. You nailed it. Good job. I don't know what she said. I totally believed that. I bet she I bet knowing her I bet she like had an explanation. Let's do this instead. Yeah, I bet it was something like that. So it wasn't like a sarcastic like, yeah, sure. No, she read, yeah, her parenting was all sarcasm. Yeah. So if I was screaming, she would come over and go like, I really love that you just keep screaming like that.

That was her. That was her. I really, hey, son, it's really, really great that you want to show off how gymnastics you are in this restaurant. Keep doing it because everybody, everybody doesn't hate you right now while you're climbing over boo. Just filled you with a total sense of confidence. Yeah. It's really, those crayons must really be delicious. You should keep eating them.

I'm going to just figured this out. Yeah. Oh yeah. Take a bigger bite. Yeah. Take a bigger bite that won't get caught in your throat. Take a bigger bite of watermelon. You fat shit. That's how, that's the opposite of my mom.

She would never do that. No. Sarcastic parents. For feed a kid watermelon. Kind of parent feeds a kid watermelon. No, they let's crack for them. I know. Oh, I can't get enough. I don't kid watermelon. No, they let's crack for them. No, I know. Oh, I can't get enough.

I don't like watermelon. Me either. Yeah. Okay. Raised properly. It feels like you ate nothing. Yeah. Yeah.

Let's see what else do I get here? I got stadium, oh, net neutrality hysteria. You in on that at all? Is it, has it ramped up again? Yeah, man, I think we're just in a permanent state of net neutrality hysteria. Okay. Like if you go on,

you don't get a bigger reaction as being a complete racist as you do going against net neutrality online. Really? Or not being like 100%. Yeah, even though, even though, even though nothing ever happened because of it, like we're living in a world where bad things happen

all the time every day for reasons. And everybody's keyed up about net neutrality over things that have never happened. Like getting your, getting your precious, crappy internet blocked. Like, well, you know, I got a list of times that this has happened. Like, dude, that you have a list, should let you know that it's not a big problem,

that you've got a list of items, because there's other shit that's going on that you can't even make a list for. I think that the stuff that's already gone on, I think we just accept that. Once something starts happening, it's like, well, we're used to that now. Well, one in six kids is hungry every night. That's fine. But we gotta, we gotta keep our terrible internet, the slowest internet in the goddamn

world, free. You guys me insane. The hysteria over net neutrality. I don't even wanna take a side. It's enough to not take a side. It's enough to make people hate you, to not pick a side. And that's usually a bad sign. Are you with, are you for us or again us?

I don't really, I don't really know because it's kind of a huge complicated issue. And there's like a lot of, there's like a lot of money involved and a lot of corruption involved. Oh, it's a witch. Burn them. You're either furrester against us. I don't know, man. You're kind of asking me a lot.

I'm not real happy with my internet as it is. That's exactly why I shrugged when you asked me because everything's so complicated now. In order to have an opinion on anything, you have to spend your life just researching. And researching. Well, and I think there's a lot of muddied waters you have to parse through. Yeah, it's like if people intentionally

muddying waters on lots of issues. I feel like I cannot trust anything anymore. Well, that's, well, you're not alone in that. Polls are showing that a lot of people are feeling that way about a ton of issues that probably should be more cut and dry than they are because it's just like groups. Everybody's got to make me fuck. Make you want to check out. Make you want to tune out.

Yeah, I think I have done that. I have to out of political, like anything where people are getting pissed off over it. And that's bad because you're smart. And so are you. I think a lot of people are tuning out. Just going, I just need a break. I just need a break. I just need a break, because I'm maxed out on trying to unravel these Christmas lights.

I fucking maxed out. Yeah. And if I see, if I see another, if I see one more person trying to jam a cord in and tell me that this is my, this is the same bundle of lights, I'm gonna fucking kill them. Yeah. And I think the reason it's the smart people

is because we're the ones that actually think about things that we hear, we don't just hear it. Yeah, yeah. Except. You and Sean are. Just me and Sean. Those who use 52% of their brains, it's exhausting. It would be less exhausting if you just heard and just paraded back, you know, platitudes. Yeah, we need computers to start doing it.

They need to start thinking about this stuff. It's too much. It's way too much. Yeah. Even even this one, even this one, like you got to start as soon as you open the floodgates on what somebody actually thinks It is that neutrality what they think the fixes what the problem is who they think is gonna fix it You find absolutely nothing like this is you didn't you don't know anything You don't know anything about what you're talking about. Why are you so pissed off at me for not just agreeing like is this how? Is this how you live every day? Is this what you calm down how you live every day? Is this what you, calm down for fuck's sake, calm down.

So I've just throwing links at me. That's what arguing online about anything is. Just throwing links, come and write up. We gotta get this train of lies on the track. I cannot, go. I cannot imagine arguing online. Like you'll argue online, right? Only with sarcasm though.

Like I only argue online to make your people feel bad. Your mom taught you that. Yeah. And I used to enjoy arguing about things online. All of the joy is gone now. It is. It is.

Um, like Asper-Tame. Asper-Tame, uh are they are larmists? Right before the show, Jamie tell Jamie, you had me convinced us we can never drink Diet Coke again. You shouldn't. Well, yeah, but then Sean brings in a Diet Coke and I say, Jamie says it's poison and Sean goes, now that's a myth, it's the most research substance

on the face of the planet. It's fine. It's probably the most research food product. Well, who the fuck am I supposed to believe? A professional bodybuilding bikini model nutritionist, personal trainer, or you? Who knows everything? What the fuck, man? How, and number one, I don't know which one of you,

I don't know, I know both of you's done tons of research on this, I know both of you wants me to not, on this i know both of you want me to not to i know both of you want me equally to enjoy life and not die and i have no and i have not the capacity to understand either of your arguments the second you went beyond you with jamey don't do it and shon do it the second you started throwing out sucrose i went well this is it this is my stop now just, now I just have to believe the one with the bigger tits. Cause that's how life works. And I still don't know. And I'm still unclear on that one. To share everybody take it. Do you see what I'm saying? I don't have the ability to tell which one of you is right. I fucking don't. You can send me links all day. You could both send me.truth links all fucking day.

And I would never know. Never know your reason. As per James, the most research shit on the planet makes sense to me. Your reason, it's poison and it's been influenced by big business so they can keep shoving it down our throats makes fucking sense to me So what and who's paid for all that research Jamie you don't have to overegg it

I know what you're saying both of these realities make perfect sense to me it exists been researched probably fine Yeah You know where you can find your answer. It's a fermented and Jamie It's like it's like worst to sure saucer beer as far as it's a look at him. Look at this look at the way he's selling making his case. It's two things. I love it. It's a progen. It's a share sauce and beer. It's approved in more than 100 countries. Possibly the most studied food product of all time. Uh-huh.

All the all the world health organization type all the governing bodies and such have found that it's fine in the levels that we, it's basically amino acids. Oh, god damn it. Okay, shut stop, stop, that's my stop. I cannot proceed further because I don't really know what those are. Yes, you do.

I know the idea of what they are, but I don't know if amino acids are good or bad scientifically. If I'm being honest, somebody, oh amino acids, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Remember seeing one thing on a site where they said, oh, you know, that breaks down into formaldehyde in your, in your system. Yeah. And then it was followed up by research that said, oh, yes, that's absolutely true. And you know what else breaks down into formaldehyde system in, in six times the amount, fruit's absolutely true. And you know what else? Brakes down into formaldehyde system.

In six times the amount, fruit juice. And that doesn't matter because your body turns that into amino acids anyway. See how he's confusing it with all this science. What's, why is it bad? Well, I would say part of it has to do with a misunderstanding between what's good in moderation and what's good as part of a everyday habit. I don't wanna be comfortable. I'm misunderstanding anything in your coffee

or in your protein shakes, or as protein in most protein. You shouldn't be drinking soda in the quantities that I do. But it's in so many other things. Like what? Like protein shakes, if people are trying to get in shape,

they're gonna pick a protein shake that has a low carb count, and they're drinking it every day, maybe twice a day, to try and get healthier. And now- Do you tend to be doing that? Not with that, too. Drinking protein shakes five or six times a day.

I mean, two times a day is pretty common. Like say you've got a meal replacement, and then like a post workout drink. But, you know, that's the kind of thing where somebody's drinking it multiple times a day every day, just like a soda or coffee. I can't do it anymore. I can't focus on what to eat. I can't focus on what not to buy that's killing me.

I just can't do it. I just want to drink. I need a computer to give me exactly where I can just pick on the thing. Are you a big fat slob? No judgment. Are you just pick it? Are you a big fat so? Are you trying to get in shape?

Are you trying to pretend like you're getting in shape but you're not? Are you an alcoholic? And then you just pick which one you are and it gives you the correct amount of nutrition. I can't listen to these arguments anymore about high fructose corn syrup, an asperate aim, cane sugar corn carbs, and bread, and corn.

Yeah. So is this the same computer that's going to be telling us what's okay politically? Yeah, is that what I said the other computer does? Yeah, I need the computer more than I trust a bunch of assholes on Reddit. But it depends on how you set up the program to decide what's good or not. I need two computers then. I need the first computer to set up the other ones.

Yeah, I need one designed by the Koch brothers and I need one computer made by the Huffington, that's fucked, but that's the only way it's gonna end up. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's with Eiffel or opposite. A bunch of different corporations. But it works. Linux works, runs the whole fucking internet.

I guess so, huh? And it's made just by people, works perfectly. Keeps everything online, never got to reset it. Up time, a million years. It's fine. We need it though, because I think that's where we waste so much thinking time. It's on arguing about politics. I think so.

And aspartame. And thinking about it and planning these, I just want to go into my computer. I need to argument about aspartame. And aspartame and thinking about it and like planning these, I just want to go into my computer like, okay, I need to, I need to argument about aspartame, please. And it just spits out like, oh yeah, okay, okay, got it, got it. I don't want to look anything up anymore. So tired. Yeah. Of like, I need to, I'm just going to, I'm not going to argue with my life coach anymore.

I'm not going to argue with a stereo anymore. I'm just, we're just just gonna have these tomogotches that you put your values into, yes, no. And then when you meet with somebody, you just touch them like the old tomogotches. And they fight, they argue for you. And it's like, Estherios had a lot of points, but they were mostly like,

blubbery, liberal, bleeding heart points. And you won the argument logically. I'll say, okay, good. But it's like, blubbery, liberal, bleeding heart points, and you won the argument logically. I was like, okay, good. But it's like, but it cost you. You gained points in like Machiavellian solosness, and you lost points in humanity, and I was like, ooh, okay, maybe I need to adjust my values. And the stereos will get his,

and it's like, you're a cuck, your cuck score has increased by five points. But you, you're like experience, your experience of dealing with a conservative time of God. You're gonna be careful because one of your dickhead top autists is going to build this program. This will save the human race. I'm not joking. This device, this argument avatar where I never have to think about an issue again.

It's just yes, no questions like that stupid graph with the politics where I try to, I always try to cram it over and libertarian, right? Like a hard-ass posse, even if I don't believe it. Like, I know that's the libertarian right question. That's it. Yes, yes, yes. Yeah, I would never do that. One thing I've learned about this fan base is you better be careful what you wish for.

What do you want? I'm just talking about you asking for these miraculous programs. That device will change the fucking world. Seriously, just a little guy, you could customize it to look like you. Maybe you could make it like a little cooler version of you. Always. Like a 25 year old version of you. You know, not you, of course.

You get more beautiful every year, but guys like, well, guys like me, not Sean either. You look good too. You get bigger, you get broader shoulders every year. Vampire. You get those arms. Like a mussely vampire. Like what did that guy that came up with that bro vampire

who just lifts all night? He gets out out of his coffin, and it just starts benching. Why don't we vampires ever lift? They're full of blood. Right? I don't know what you're talking about. Vampires, they never lift weight.

No, I mean, that's bro vampire, I don't know what that is. Like a straight vampire. A vampire who behaves like a straight man, instead of like Liberace. He just gets up and lifts and plays Call of Duty with his bros with a bunch of guys on the Eastern hemisphere. He's got no friends up at eight in the morning

on this side of the earth. He's the loneliest vampire. Cause all his vampire buddies are just doing gay stuff. Like they're got all night wearing goth shit. And he's just at home in like a mega man t-shirt or ripped off sleeves with American flag. It doesn't like the coolest vampire. Lonely though. Very lonely.

Anyway, let me see what this guy count Daniela has to say. You're breathing. Hello, did you get me? Hey, count Daniela, what's up, man? Hey man, how's it going? Good, hey, it's very late for you, isn't it? No, not too bad. I see a clock at night.

That's not too bad. You're right. I don't even understand how time works in the world. To be honest, I just assume that anybody who has an accent is, it's like midnight for them. He's in the UK, right? Yeah. Yeah.

Are you Scottish? Yeah, Scottish, man. Okay, good. I'm glad I said that right. Call that right because if he was Scottish and I said you just something else, then you know, he looks like a real asshole. I look like an asshole. Like I don't know my accents. Uh, all right. Count. Um,

I think I want to play your play this video. You may. Please, we haven't seen it because yeah, a lot of people haven't seen it. We're going to, I'm going to put it in the video feed. Uh, when we get this episode out. I love the way that you have titled this. Yeah. Spelling.

So can you just, can you give a quick description of what we're about to see just, I don't know, to give it some context for everybody? It's basically a case of my girlfriend, like loves her dog more than anything else on the planet probably more than me And she constantly goes on about how cute and adorable and lovely is and I just thought it would be hilarious to piss her off by turbin the dog into one of the most horrible things that I could think of which is a Nazi Okay, just yeah just a lawyer so I taught it to

react to certain phrases that the Nazis might say and I also taught it to Nazi salute just for the purpose of annoyance. I haven't seen the video and this is already my favourite thing on the internet. Alright here, I'm going to play it. It's like two minutes long. Garofren is always rant and raven about how cute and adorable her wee dog is. is always rantin' raven about how cute and adorable her wee dog is and so I thought I would turn them into the least cute thing that I could think of which is an Nazi. Yeah.

Buddha, do I gas the juice? Do I gas the juice? Mum will gas the juice, son. Do I gas the juice? He's a little pug. Do I gas the juice? Fucking. Come on gas the juice, son. Good morn. Do I gaster juice? Fucking caster juice. No gaster juice son.

It's morning. Do I gaster juice? Do I gaster juice? Do I gaster juice? Gaster juice? I can't know. I hear my okay. No my.

Juice. But dog perks up. What did you train it to do when you're talking about Jews? Just jump up? Yeah, it thinks it means treat so he thinks So you brainwash the dog into thinking the Jews means treat so if anything The tell me like to use is a re-education. Oh Here yeah Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha Valley. A little pie. Seek high. Oh my god. Seek high. Okay. He is on Seek high. All the dog does a full on arm raise. Well, everybody knows what it looks like. But it's knows what it looks like,

but it's basically the same as like shake hands for the dog, right? And he's holding it. It used to be a give me a paw. I just simply altered the process. You just reeducated him. Yeah, well, and he's doing it. His elbow is not bending at all.

You know, some dogs like their wrist or their elbow, it's like straight out. It's perfect. I mean, for what you were doing, you did it very well. Yeah, yeah. What the hell happened after, I see this video you put on YouTube's got

to about three million views. What the hell happened you after this went up? Is the dog on trial currently? It's ready to be. The dog on my fray does not on trial, even though he's the Nazi. Yeah, I've been to anything. Yeah, you know, he's the one with horrible views.

But like, what happened was I actually uploaded the video, but it didn't really, I just uploaded it to my channel. I only had about like eight subscribers, where all people that I knew, they were all my friends. Yeah. And then I was actually going to Iceland for a fan fest. And it wasn't until I went to Iceland, that some random person, don't know who it was, posted it on Reddit and it ended't until I went to Iceland, some random person, I don't know

where it was, posted it on Reddit and it ended up on the front page of Reddit. And this sort of happened on the first day of wednesday, I went to Iceland. As soon as I got to Iceland, I went out, got drunk, didn't connect to wifi or anything like that. And I didn't know that while I'm in Iceland, getting drunk and stuff, the video was blowing up back home. What were you drinking? It was like, oh brother where are they? Where they come and sing the song and it's like a huge hit. They don't know that.

The thing was, it wasn't until the next morning that I woke up and connected to the hotel Wi-Fi that I went. Why did I have so many notifications on my phone? Did everybody hate you? Like did they think it was, no, they thought it was funny. Yeah, everyone thought it was funny. The only people who didn't find it funny was the press because you know, anything that they can sensationalize and turn into something horrible, you know, they'll do it.

I know that, but like what happened was in my girlfriend contact to me and says like, there are reporters at the door. And like, they came up to the interview. And they came up with the interview. The dog, yeah. Oh yeah. This was the thing is they came in and they were saying stuff like, oh, you know, this is caused quite a star and we want to tell your side of the story. And we know you're a nice guy and we want to keep it in the air.

And it's all a trick. That's all a fucking trick. They just lie to the biggest scumbags in the world of press. What are you inside of the story? Yeah, all they want to do is trick you into giving them quotes that they can post out of context. Well, what does that mean? What was your experience with them? Oh, that was exactly what they did.

Like, I've never dealt with a press before, so I was, you know, I was about naive on my part to actually trust in it, didn't they told me? They ended up just using it a right, complete hip pieces. They were even trying to like, try and make it out that I actually was a Nazi. I'm starting to hear that as well. Yeah, they were just, yeah, they were, they really, really a bunch of snakes

making fun of being perfectly honest. Yeah, no, beep perfectly honest because the more people distrust the press, the less power they have. Like they're just car salesmen. Their only reason they exist is to sell ads. Correct. It is now.

That's it. Didn't used to be, I don't think. You see them? When you see them fuck with them, that's it. Just give them all bullshit, waste their time, do anything you can to fuck with the press. That's what I think. Because they're trying to fuck with you. They see people as machines that turns, that turns attention into money. The press

and journalism is absolutely embarrassing. So what happened to embarrassing? Well, wait a minute. What did your girlfriend think of this prank? First of all, she was fucking furious. So mission accomplished. Well done. It's funny because it's a pug and she has like an unnatural attachment to this thing. And the pug is guy like this dead done. It's funny because it's a pug and she has like an unnatural attachment to this thing. And the pug is guy like this dead eye. What's his name? It's going. It's doing the whole thing. His name is Buddha, which is the thing that makes it a little bit ironic, as you know how the swastika actually kind of originates from Buddhism. That sounds like something a Nazi would say, actually. I don't know about that. Yeah, but yeah, she didn't find it funny at all.

I actually took it a few days to kind of like, you know, forgive me. I see. Did you do it in secret or was she in on, because there's a couple ways you can do this prank, you tell her upfront of what you're going to do and she can't stop you because of the strength of your will, that you know you're going to train the dog, or you train it in secret to do this and just spring it on her one day.

And she realizes that you've been doing it the whole time. Which way was it? I did it in secret. You did it in secret. Yeah, I was kind of like invited up into the living room and just said, hey, want to see something cool? And I did it in front of her. And I'm laughing, but she's just looking at me with these cold dead, you fuck up eyes.

Like, and this was when you had the Steinblatt's over for dinner, right? That was the, had them over for dinner and said, you showed them your parlor trick. Yeah, the thing that's really hard though, is a trained them to do it. It's really hard to untrain them. Yeah. To do it, it keeps doing it now without being asked.

Like, see if you're just sort of sitting, eating your dinner, he thinks if he just walks up to use the words. Because he wants whatever it is that he taught him to do that. Yeah. Yeah. As it turns out, so you are a minute. So what happened to you?

Like, what happened to you after the reporters got done flaying the flesh from your body? Well, the thing was, I was still in Iceland, like I was still just wandering around Iceland and people were like recognising me and stuff and wanted pictures with me. And I was making Facebook posts just sort of having digs at the press.

Yeah. Now, the thing is, like, my Facebook has always been set to private because of a psychotic ex-girlfriend. Okay. But what did you train her to do? Yeah. Yeah, but this is the thing was the press was somehow getting access to my Facebook and we're getting access to posts that I made.

So obviously someone who was one of my friends was like, a different information to the press. But I made a comment, something like, oh, people keep coming up and asking for pictures with me. Really strange since I coordinated the press, I apparently have offended every single person on the planet. Like, that was just like the sort of dig I was having at the press.

The press then took that comment and ran this whole story of Nazi pug man now thinks he is a celebrity. And I'm like, when did I say that? We didn't like that. It was just, it was a really salty, just immature response to a Facebook post that obviously upset them.

But ended up like, they were just writing stuff about me in Iceland. I just enjoyed my vacation in Iceland and then I went home and then a few days after I got home, I got a knock at the door. It was the cops. And the thing that happened is they came in and they were like, oh, I assume you know why we're here. I was like, oh, I've got a pretty good idea.

So this is what I get to feel. I mean, in Scotland, is this normal for them to just show up if you've offended people? Oh, yeah. you've offended people? Oh yeah, we've got people in jail right now for sending mean tweets. What the fuck, jail? Yeah, it's incredible. Oh yeah, and other people that have actually

had been thrown in prison for sending a mean tweets or mean messages over Facebook. Now is jail just so, I understand the country is jail like a cool fun time or you just get to have drinks with your buddies because in America, jail sucks. No, okay. And Scottish prisons are pretty much

like American prisons except with a lot less rape. Well, that's the worst part. I mean, otherwise it's just working out with some dudes. Not too bad. The rape is the only deterrent for me about prison. I'm serious. Many fine books have been written in prison. I couldrent for me about prison. I'm dead serious. Many fine books have been written in prison. I could do the show in prison.

Acoustics might be a little shittier. What are you gonna do? You have some new material, so I'll just offset. Trades some of my commissaries shit for some moving blankets. Pad myself. Maybe Acoustics will be better. Who knows?

We could get you in there. We could do this over that phone. Oh, yeah. I can't express. Exactly express yeah, exactly show me your tits. Yeah. Um, okay. So the cops showed up and say You know why we're here and you say yes? Yeah, they just sort of came in and they just went so explain explain to you as a little bit about what happened and I just Matter of fact explain to them. I wanted to piss off my girlfriend, so I thought the dog didn't see so little and stuff. I thought it was quite funny, so I recorded it all, uploaded it to my personal YouTube channel,

but I thought just in case anybody seen it, I would give a disclaimer of, I've done this to piss off my girlfriend, I'm not a racist, I'm not anti-submitted, this was purely just a piss for all. To go context. As soon as I explained that to the police, the police officer just did so matter of fact, turned around to me and says, well, we're here

to arrest you. And my actual response was just serious. The thing was, like the press had tried to come to my house and the days leading up to that, but they all kind of just get told to, you know, fuck off. Yeah. And I hadn't seen press in the street for days. that, but they all kind of just get told to fuck off. Yeah. And I hadn't seen press in the street for days, but then when I got led outside, in handcuffs, they handcuffed me. Oh my God. You know, because I think they had to make sure that when I was going out, I wasn't going to make another offensive meme so they had to make sure I was cuffed.

You were arrested for what? The charge is the act and being charged under is the Offensive Communications Act, but it's classed as a hate crime because it was targeted towards a minority, apparently, as well, even though the bottom of the joke was Nazis, not Jews, but try to tell in the cops that. And when I get led outside, there was shit, tons of press. Of course. Because you wronged them by not kissing their ring properly. Is it like, so this, I mean, if you weren't a huge internet sensation, I don't think you

would have got arrested for this. Is that fair to say? Or does it work differently over there? At the time I was no one. Yeah, at the time I had like eight subscribers and stuff like that. No one really cared. But the video was out on Reddit front page before you got arrested, right?

That's what I mean. So is there like, how much of this is your getting fucked just because you got famous on the internet and made somebody look bad? Like the press has like the feeling of, oh, this is a, I hate this girl because she didn't wanna date me. Like so I, that's how I read it.

Like they're writing shit about you because you won't just come out and give them a bunch of like, I don't know, jerk off emotional material for them to print. So they just get meaner and meaner. Cause it sells more, it pulls more clicks. I've actually seen some of the press that actually wrote

the articles about me that just contained lines. One of them actually, my list, she tracked down and my mum and dad's phone number and proper her rast them with phone calls trying to get a statement. I think she called members of my family each of them several times trying to get a statement and I actually invited her on in my YouTube channel to do a live stream

saying I want you to try and defend the article and what you and you harassed my family. Who did that? I mean, your name was Zantha Letham. Zantha Letham? Yeah. Okay. And I've tried, tried constantly. I've been emailing her going just so you know, the office is still open but she just keeps ignoring me because I think she knows that all the stuff she wrote is complete lies and I can disprove it all immediately. One of the Facebook posts she took out a context that she got in mind was when I said, release the Nazi pug video and then fled to Iceland, ha ha, like that was one of the posts but yeah that was before that was before Reddit that was before anyone even knew about the video that was talking me talking about my girlfriend because she was pissed. And they tried to, she tried to spin that and then you release in the video,

realizing the outcry that it caused and then I fled the country, even though this trip was booked like eight months before I even had the idea of all the videos. Like anyone's fleeing the country after they drop a YouTube bomb, that's insane. Yeah, it was just absolute misrepresentation just to make the story sound better. Like, article was just absolute complete lies. And in my eyes, she's not. Yeah, it was just absolute misrepresentation just to make the story sound better.

Like, article was just absolute complete lies. And in my eyes, she's not a journalist, she's a school girl making up Rimmels and Gossip. That's all she is. I'll tell you, man, there's not much of a difference anymore. The press is like a boiler room where it's instead of lying to sell you shitty stocks, you know, those boiler rooms, like the movie where they just get you, they get whales on the phone and try to lie to sell them imaginary stocks, basically. Yeah.

Press is like that. They just stab at anything to make the sale, like anything to get their names out there. It's disgusting. It's disgusting that they get away with the two. It's disgusting that they're not boy-cotted off the face of the fucking planet, that the 24 hour news networks are not themselves boy-cotted off the face of the fucking planet that the 24 hour news networks are not themselves boy-cotted into oblivion. Because there's not there's not that much news so they spend the whole day ruining people's

lives just like the boiler rooms to try to squeeze anything out of you that they can get like anything that they can remotely tie to you. If it doesn't stick they abandoned it and move on and the next thing that might discuss it. It's like, they think they're thinking that they do as well. You would think that obviously we journalism, everyone always preaches about honesty, integrity, and research, and all this type of stuff that you think would be the primary fundamentals of modern journalism. But it's a case of the term, mountain, mohils and emountains, sensationalized stuff and flat out lie. And you would think

that that type of behaviour would be punished in journalism, but the editors of these places actually strongly encourage it and endorse it. And that's absolutely sickening. Like that has to be done sickening. It's a case of we want to get some money from clicks and ad revenue and all this stuff and fuck whoever's life we ruin in the process. And that's just absolutely disgusting. Like, that's disgusting behavior from people that apparently call themselves professionals. Well, my first response is like, oh, everybody should make,

everybody should train their dog to do Nazi shit, that'll show them, but it won't. It'll just make them stronger. Like, they gotta be fundamentally dismantled journalism and the way it is across the world right now. So what happened after you got arrested? Well, while I was getting arrested as well, I was in my pajamas, so I said,

well, I'm allowed to get changed before I go. And then what happened was the mail office I had to be with me like while I was getting changed. So you obviously had to make sure I'm not gonna pull a weapon out or like, something like that. So you've not trained any other dogs into offensive memory while you're in the brief moment. You should have gotten your own. And where is the perpetrator of the, of the, at this point,

staring at you blankly doing a sigile like this is what you give my the fucker, not not for jobs. Son of a bitch. Stop it. I'll just fix you. Oh, this is the thing as well is whenever people see the dog and they want to give them a treat like he actually just lifts these poor immediately and I'm like, I don't do that when public click, don't do that. The dog was just sort of wandering around the house but see why will the male police officer is with me like watching me getting changed? You know I'm putting on a little bit.

Did you show me dick? No, I didn't go quite that far. I wasn't able to breathe. But while he's, I've been watching me. Be like, he really did. Yeah. The female police officer is actually going around my house, taking pictures of everything in my house. Yeah, you're not see memorabilia, right?

No, this is the thing is I know she's going around taking pictures, but see the thing that was worrying me the most is why I'm getting changed. I'm trying to be cool, but I'm sitting there like, my weed's sitting on my desk. I'm thinking weed is sitting on my desk. The good thing is they never noticed my weed, so that was okay. Like that was alright. She's taking DNA swabs of all the lampshades around this house. Yeah, here, right.

I think it's called the offensive communications act. That sounds. That's the one being child's done. So you can punish someone by jail. So it's the opposite of free speech, basically. Yes. Okay. Oh, we haven't had free speech here for quite a while.

I mean, if it was something that was an encouraging and endorsement violence, then I would, I would, I would have a bit more truck with that, and I would understand why the cops would want to act on that. But see, something that was a blatantly a clear joke in satire, they can actually get you arrested. And stuff like that. That's, that's where things start to get a little bit scary.

Do you have the facade of free speech there? And then... Yeah, they say we have free speech. We absolutely do. Do you have any flags that say don't step on things, like snakes or don't try and on me? The most step on snake. Yeah, I don't have anything like that.

Well, not anything like that. That's your problem. That's your problem. So all the way, you need to start making that. So what happened, if you got it out for them? Yeah. Well, it was okay, the ending up like it. I got led outside, the press were like taking my pictures.

The thing is, I started laughing as soon as I got led out the house, which is why I'm not arrest picture. And you can see me getting led out. It's absurd. Yeah. Even when I got loaded in the back of the police car, all my neighbors are sort of looking at me and I've been just cops in the street and tons of press.

And me getting thrown in the back here, police car. Oh, I did, just go out and put it in the door. Goose step right out of the house. Turn around and cops in the street and tons of press and me getting thrown into the back here, police car. Oh, I did, just go to the store. Goose step right out of the house. Turn around and give him some speech, third rag speech. Now, everyone was sort of making the jokes like, Hitler went to jail for his beliefs and look how that turned out. Yeah, they make you a monster.

I mean, next time you could train a pit bull or something, you know, do some damage, go ahead. So you went to court, right? It was what happened was I actually got a captain jail from a court date. They actually kept me in prison. They kept me in prison. Yeah. And the thing was I got loaded into the cell and stuff like that. And while I was a while I was, they never interviewed me as well, which was pretty weird. Usually they put you in that little room to interview you before,

but I just got thrown straight into the cell. But before I get thrown into the cell, the nail police officer that arrested me was saying stuff like that video could normalize Nazism and encourage people to become that. This is, that's a you cop, man. That's the worst part.

A cop weighing in on the ramifications. But it's like dude, it's either illegal or not illegal. Yeah. Your your editorialized is dangerous for us. It's you by the way. That's right. That's why you have this fucking badge. Yeah. Idiot. That was the thing is no one's going to look at that video and go, you know what? That park has a point. I'm just gonna adopt an entire idea. I was like, hey, stop it, you joke, that video. Like, see, be honest.

That's how you get them. You get them a cuteness. You kill them a cuteness. He was trying to make them not cute. Yeah, I mean, it's the stupidest part that like, you don't, oh, it's so stupid. You don't watch out for the, you don't watch out for Hitler 2.0,

like you watch out for a different guy The Nazis aren't rising again because everything's different like The circumstances that created Nazis are are no longer there. Yeah, it's like yeah, okay It's a different so it's a different person. So let's just say on different Circumstance let's say Trump is Hitler, right? Okay, Jingo is thick, like blaming everything on a certain underprivileged class. Okay, fine. Don't let's make a rule that we don't violate the Fourth Amendment. And that'll kind of stop the whole fucking thing. You can't take people out of their homes. It's it. You can't make people wear shit. They don't want to wear.

That's it. Problem solved. No more worry of the Nazis rising again because we got these rules that you have to abide by no matter what. You scared the wrong thing. It's not about normalizing. It doesn't fucking matter if it's the normal thing in the world that just walk outside and see a guy dressed like garbles are walking around. It doesn't matter because we have rights that you can't, that you can't take from us. You cannot round us up, you can't do it. That's illegal, but we always break it.

We break it every fucking time. We took the Japanese and locked them up. Every country breaks it all the fucking time. It's the myth of rights. Yeah, so how about you, officer? Instead of worrying about this hysteria of normalizing anything, just stick to the fucking plan. Do not do this.

Don't abrogate speech. Don't collect our guns. I don't know the third one, but the fourth one is do not seize us. Don't take our shit. Don't take us ever, ever, ever, ever. That's the beauty of these rules. You have to worry about anything else Anyway, we actually don't have a constitution. I was actually our laws kind of just get made up and edited You know as we go along

What the fuck am I actually think is repealing the our current Bell of human rights So it can be rewritten to be more modernized I was just sort of like how can you just sort of decide as you go along what the fucking what fucking rights we deserve as humans? Yeah. No joke. That's something that is actually happening. I mean they're scary to me. It is scary. This whole thing is scary. Like I know America, there's all kinds of things that we can improve on, but I do like the fact that we have this one thing that was written that the whole point is to not deviate from it at least to a certain degree. Not at all. At all.

Yeah, that's the difference. Deviate from it at all. All right, Daniel. So what happens in prison? Well, I ended up, I got put in the soil and everything in there. The police members gave me that whole spiel about this. Could turn people into Nazis. Yeah. I was just sort of sitting there thinking it's completely ridiculous. But I mean, I don't think Nazis would actually, that might be the root Nazis go down. They want the cute pug route to be the new face of modern Nazi, isn't because, and you

know, Nazis are saying, I mean, obviously we want to wipe out about 70% of the planet, but we want to be approachable. Yeah. You know that, that, that, that, that, that. Putting a new face. Yeah, that's why they wore all black and leather and looked like demons is because they wanted, that was their fuck up.

This time around they're gonna be real cute. Yeah. Well, who's the, yeah. You go bossed, you know. Yeah. It'll be, Jimmy, it'll be, Paul Frank this time. Not Hugo Boss will design the, not the fourth right, uniforms, the fifth Reich?

No, fourth Reich. I think it's the fourth one we're on now. You would know. Right. But in the end of the week, the next morning, I get loaded and he wanted to go to his armored transport vans and take it away to the porthouse. Yeah, right.

With the Hannibal Lecter mask. Straightjack at the Hannibal Lecter mask. Hide jacket in the hand of a lector mask. Hide your dogs. Hide your eyes. Don't let your dogs gaze upon this man. He'll fill them with hate. I got literally loaded in this little two-foot by two-foot cube, hand cuffed down to the chair. Legs were cuffed, hands were cuffed, and everything leg up was fucking dangerous.

Is there something else that's happened in your country that you can compare this to or that somebody else should have gotten this kind of treatment that? William Wallace, that's what it is. Yeah, well, everyone keeps making the whole wall with his powers. So, just keep that in your pants. But what he supposedly did. I'm stunned that you can be detained for this. To that degree.

So, you're loaded up like Campbell's. I got taken to the courthouse and then that's when you get put into like a big holding cell where you're in there. I think it was about like 12 other guys that I was in this holding cell with. Who are actual criminals? Oh yeah, or some of them had done some serious. One of them was my friend, actually, like his son is a friend of this cell. We recognize each other and we were like, hey, long time no see. I won't be seeing him for a long time anyway. He's looking at five years. What did he do? Put gum under a desk somewhere? No, what he did was quite serious. He actually hit someone in the face with a meat cleaver.

Oh, the sharp end? Yes, he did some serious kind of thing. Could have popped him with a handle. serious kind of. Could have popped in with the handle. Oh god. But in the room, we're going around the room doing the whole what you're in for. It's going around people who are like, I attack the cops, we're in life, I get caught, we are killer, we're cocaine.

And all this kind of stuff. And then it gets to me and I'm like, I made a video of my dog doing an at-sys, so look. And everyone just started laughing at me. Yeah. And they all agreed to me. I would have loved to have heard that. I get an audio of that. The thing was, the guy sitting next to me turned around to me and went like that.

See if you do go to jail, don't tell people that because you will get the shit kicked. No. Yeah. But they ended up, they didn't, I didn't actually end up going to the courthouse. I got granted something which is called a procurator fiscal liberation, which is you only go to the courthouse, if you only go into the courtroom, if they are deciding whether or not to give you bail and then give you conditions for your bail, you know, you get bail conditions and stuff. Yeah.

What happened is they just decided to give me bail, but I don't have any bail conditions. So there was no need for me to go into the courtroom. So I was just released. And then I was just released to await my trial. Okay. So what's the, yeah, what's the, you had your trial recently, didn't you? No, it keeps getting pushed back. It's still supposed to be happening this Thursday. So I've got about four days, but I'm not last time I hyped it up when it got this close, the trial ended up getting delayed again.

So I'm trying not to hype it up and get everybody hyped and just just to get it again be delayed. What's your trial date? Trial date is the 27th. 27th, oh my God. But again, it might be delayed. Yeah.

So you just got this sword hanging over your head all the time Like you're you're facing serious consequences. Yeah, what they'll even know. It's gonna happen. What's the what's the worst case scenario Maximum is a one-year in prison Jesus Christ Imagine if you imagine how many times you could you raped in here? A lot Sean. Yeah a lot here. A lot, Sean. A lot, man. I mean, I have a high sex drive, so I don't,

it might be all dudes don't, but that's, I could do a lot of, I could do a lot of rape in prison in the year. And you would have friends, I mean, you'd have buddies who probably have an equal sex drive. I mean, it could be. All that working out too, really, bump pumps up my sex drive as well.

And that's all I would do. Yeah. Just lift and rape, lift and rape, lift and go. And go. And prison. No, it's really, I don't know if you guys think count Daniel, I don't know if you have that rule in prison where you can't your go have.

When you kind of can, you just need to, you usually have a cellmate who is called your co-pilot. I think if you reach a sort of a level of comfortability and understanding with your co-pilot, then it's a case of we can mutually master bait, you know, but it's no homo. We just want to back to back. Back to back. So no, Gug, there's no extra accidental splashback hitting either one of you. And you're not looking at each other so it's not gay. Yeah. Oh yeah. That's the definition of not gay. Dude's ass to ass, little rips.

So, not together, that's in the dictionary, not gay. Oh yeah, okay. That's what I thought it was. Is this some kind of lookout situation? Is that why you're back to back like that? You're not supposed to do that. It's in the rules, you're not supposed to do that. I don't understand what's going on.

I think that's just to sort of avoid, because it's not gay unless you make eye contact. So I think that's just to make sure there's no accident in eye contact. Then you gotta kick each other's ass. If you do that. You need to immediately beat each other up. Even if you both still have erections, you need to immediately beat each other up to yourself. You know, you have manly dominance.

Like a Bronson style beat down. Yeah, exactly. So soaked in sweat. Oh, I'm getting to turn on. Oh my god, man. Do you have a good lawyer at least? It does know what he's doing. It's just that the whole problem is, is sort of a, he's not really a court appointed

lawyer, he's like one of those lawyers that like hangs about the prison to pick up people that don't have lawyers, because he's a lawyer that accepts legal aid and the mallegal aid application ended up getting rejected as well. Has the internet helped you out? Yeah because you're not see. Have the any neon Nazi groups helped you out? No, this is the thing that's the problem is I did I did get completely caught off Garbontweil by a woman who is actually a raging anti-zionist and I didn't

know who she was. And this was the thing that made me wonder about this is just a public conversation that happened on Twitter. She sent me tweets saying things like, I think it's disgraceful that free speech is gone and you're being charged and stuff like that. And I was absolutely not. Perfectly not. Oh, thank you very much.

I appreciate your support. And then she tweeted back, it be going, I mean, it shouldn't be for saying gas to Jews because did you know that the Jews would have her gas in the Holocaust? God damn it lady. God damn it you idiot. Shut the fuck up, shut the fuck up.

What are you doing to this guy? No. The thing was like, see how I argue like SJWs and stuff like that all the time in Twitter, but none of them could come anywhere close to the shit that I got from Holocaust deniers like holy shit, they are insane bunch of people, they are lunatics by the way. I got so much shit from them for months because I was like, I will the Holocaust dead, dead can't happen. Yeah.

Yeah. I got, so I wrote a book called Menorbed in the Women and I went on Dr. Phil just to be an asshole. What I did easily if it was in Scotland, I get arrested. Yeah, absolutely. Extremely offensive. I get death threats. I got death threats about it all the time.

The most uncomfortable situations are when I'm trying to sneak, just trying to sneak another one through, and I'll get like a show might be getting made or something and then somebody you'll see it who's just really serious about the message of the book and like, hey, great to see that good things are happening to you. And also, did you know that I, women are all like, they're all cum sluts and they're like, I thought that they would just stop it, stop it. Keep it in, just keep it under, I get it, I wrote the box, just to shut up for a second god damn it, I get it. Come on man, come on, what are you doing in my hair?

That was like the thing as well, as I have actually had support from people that I really do not want support from. That would actually damage my case. See one of the people I don't know, very user I heard of the golden one. No, no, no, everyone say no. I've never heard of that. No, no, no, I actually have in. What is it? He is a Swedish man who has some very, very tasteless opinions, shall we say, when it comes to Jews and degeneracy and

you know, things like that. And he's like, his buff is hell, he is massively jacked and he can set us himself as the epitome of the white, glorious Aryan roots. You were mentioned. Yes. Yeah. And he made some, he's made some certain videos. Like, I don't know why, but whenever he makes a video talking about Jews, he always does it with a shot off. I mean, you know, he takes his muscles where he's like he's like, he's jiggling. Yeah, he's one of them and he actually donated to my fundraiser with the message, nothing wrong with sticking up for your race brother. That's good enough. No. That's good enough. Couldn't you put the helmet off for just a second and just to pour free speech, then can you just make this about free speech

and take the Nazi head off for one second? This is like a whole lot of pages where you can comment. I'm all for everyone's support on your free speech, but can those type of people do it away from me? Like I don't know the people. Use a surrogate. Use a surrogate. Give me therogate. You just surrogate. Give me the money and I'll give it to Count to that.

Thank you, Lord. Without putting any of your messages on it. Now has anyone solicited your services for dog training? Cause he seems like you did a pretty good job. Yeah, I mean, you got him to do exactly what you wanted. That's can't be easy. Yeah, but I can't undo it. That's the problem.

Like he's so ingrained like he did his just caught and he's like, little echoed on the nose. That's why it's so't be easy. Yeah, but I can't undo it. That's the problem. Like he's so ingrained like, but it's just caught and he's like, little echo. That's why it's so funny. Yeah. Because you can't undo it. It's just like people. Yeah.

So what would you have like a defense fund? Yeah, we did. We went way over target. We needed a, I mean, it was the, it reminds us of 12,000 pounds to actually pay off the lawyer. And we've reached that within eight hours. Wow. I mean, it was the, it was the, it was the, it was the, it was the, it was the, it was the, it was the, it was the, it was the, it was the, it was the, it was the, it was the, it was the, it was the, it was the, it was the, it was the, it was the, it was the, it was the, it was the, it was the, it was the, it was the, it was the, it was the, it was the, it was the, it was the, it was the, it was the, it was the, it was the, it was the, it was the, it was the, it was the, it was the, it was the, it was the, it was the, it was the, it was the, it was the, it was the, it was the, it was the, it was the, it was the, it was the, it was the, it was the, it was the, it was the, it was the, it was the, it was the, it was the, it was the, it was the, it was the, it was the, it was the, it was the, it was the, it was the, it was the, it was the, it was the, it was the, it was the, it was the, it was the, it was the, it was the, it was the, it was the, it was the, it was the, it was the, it was the, it was the, it was the, it was the, it was the, it was the, it was the, it was the, it was the, it was the, it was the, it was the, it was the, it was the, it was the, it was the, it was the, it was the, it was the, it was the, it was the, it was the, it was the, it was the, it was the, it was a lot of people donated and it was judging by a lot of the comments

It wasn't the people were supporting free speech, but they were doing it out of fear Yeah, that's that that's what it really got me is people were actually donating to this like if it can happen to him It can happen to all of us It's absurd because we all want to piss off our girlfriend. It's fucking absurd Yeah, it's completely embarrassing as even when I was in the due, the guards recognized me and one of the guards actually hailed a Hitler-solided man went, oh, Zika oh, big man, that's it. Oh, yeah.

Oh, it's real fucking funny, man. Yeah, hilarious. That's real fucking funny. Why don't you come a little, do it a little closer so I can get- So, the prison guard even went, what you end for, and I went for that. And the prison guards themselves were like, are you serious? You're unhealed for that. And I went, yeah, like that's that. Yeah, I probably get in pause. We've lost complete control. That's over our armed police forces. We've lost them. The thing is, I don't know what they mean.

It was higher than the police forces because it's the random part of this, that's the terrifying part. Yes. That's where the terrorism breeds is not the number of people they kill in the world trade centers as they did it randomly. So this one guy, Daniel, it gets busted. It's terrifying.

We're all doing, we're all breaking the law. Even the laws that are just breaking them. But the ones that they create on the fly, it could be anybody. That's why it's terrifying. That was just one thing that the police I actually did get attacked for. See after they, you know how the bombing

that happened at the Ariana Grande concert. Yes, that happened quite recently. So, yeah, Manchester, like huge terrorist attack just happened and the police tweeted out, like just to make everyone aware, any hateful comments posted online, we will be pursuing you further. I don't know, aren't you a little bit fucking busy right now? Don't you have a terrorist attack to fucking deal with? I'm worried about offending Muslims, I think.

Yeah, I'm sorry, but I want to keep people just fucking dying. I think that's whatending Muslims, I think. Yeah, I was like, I'm sorry, but there weren't two kids. Or white people. What are people gonna be posting? What are people kissing? After those. But who gets offended by it? I mean, you think, well, no, I think people are gonna be posting like,

see, these Muslim motherfuckers, don't let them all blah, blah, blah, blah. Yeah, and who's gonna get offended? I fucking doubt that most Muslims would read something like that and go and be offended by it. Like the ones who supported are gonna go, damn right, keep letting us in. There's the ones who supported are gonna go damn right, keep letting us in.

There's the ones who are offended on behalf of someone else. But that's the only people who, what I'm saying is that's the only group that's offended because there's half of Muslims that have to live in terror who fucking hate to war the warring the half. And then the other half are like, yeah, they're not offended by anything because they're fucking martyrs.

It's the only people getting offended are the cops in her like, yeah, they're not offended by anything, cause they're fucking martyrs. It's only people getting offended or the cops in this case, the government, the people running the goddamn media. Why is it driven snow? That's what I think. Whatever, it doesn't even, if somebody's, they're worried about people getting offended by comments.

Yeah. Is the point that's fucking ridiculous. Like you said, aren't you a little fucking busy right now? Yeah. You're gonna follow this up? Jesus Christ. All right. What's your legal defense fun site, Count Dancule, where people could go. Maybe give you a little extra more by your girlfriend's dog, some unbrainwashing services. Get him into one of those sexual reassignment therapists. He did not get a facat of that yeah uh... or just send them to Brazil retire amount of

live-along argentina saluting argentina so it's only you caring and if you just type in the count down killer you caring it's the first thing that comes up okay like that no more you are else we're just

giving out google searches uh... good good sorry i mean i got asked you what makes you rage? That's what we do on the show. Makes me a rage. Yeah, what really pisses you off? What do you think is the biggest thing wrong with the world for you? The biggest thing that I'm worried about right now is basically regressive leftism is a bit attacking freedom on all fronts. They want to have absolute control over what people can

and can't say and can and can't do. But if you try, if you try and suggest anything like that to themselves, they're like, no, no, you can't do that to us because we are right. That's the thing is they basically, they want perks and stuff like that for themselves. And they're okay with freedom being attacked as long as it's used to drown out their opposition.

Like, I classed myself, I sent a left, like the whole, you know, the whole classical liberal term, I want absolutely everyone to have equality and freedom, but people from the far, far left, the ones that are the absolute raging lunatics, are they basically want people who they feel are underprivileged to not have equality, but to have privilege. So they keep mourning and complaining a lot about white privilege. White people have always had privilege and always been held in higher regard than everyone else. And you would think that instead of us having privilege, they would want absolute equality, but instead they

instead they want other minorities to have privilege, which is the very thing that they are complaining about, which is what I don't understand. Like, you want people to be able to have a special treatment and have access to, you know, jobs and funding and all these other kind of things, basically based on the color of their skin, their sexuality, their religion and things like that as well. That's not equality. That isn't equality. Equality should be everyone is treated the same, but they want people to be treated higher than everyone else. I want equality.

I want everyone to be treated the same. That's not what they want. They're not fighting for equality, no matter what they say. Spoken like a true white male. Yeah, let's just about power. All the memes about equality and whatever turns out it was all bullshit. And they just want, they just want both. They think the thing that frightens me the most

is use of obviously all-herd of the all-right. Yeah. The all-right is actually rising because of the left, basically because of the way they're acting. See when people feel that their own freedoms are being attacked, especially Americans are like, huge on freedom, really, really big on freedom in the world.

Yeah, we got a real hard on about it. Yeah, because that's kind of what the country itself was founded and based on. So when people actually feel that their freedoms are being attacked, and then like you've seen that they've seen the way they're left-act, they turn up with a mask on, mask on, and they throw fireworks and pepper spray people and attack people just simply for exercising their right to free speech. And they sit there and scream, Nazi racist fascist, even though what these people are saying doesn't even come close to any of those things. The reason they call someone a Nazi is to dehumanize them, which means even though this person doesn't believe in Nazi ideology or they said anything, you know, even remotely close to

everything in that city would say we're going to call them a Nazi to dehumanize and which means that we're completely justified in assaulting them. And which is quite funny because, you know, the entire dehumanization thing is what the Nazis themselves used towards Jews to justify the way they're doing to teach. It is funny. And this guy gets, you know, jokes, he knows comedy, we know that. Well, yeah, it's, I can't help but think if you had just taught like a cat to do the Vulcan salute, this would have all been a way. I was kind of fucking asking if it would have been as bad if it was a cat.

I don't think so. I don't know. It would have just got past that fun. Yeah, your center left. We call it, we call you people cucks. Yeah, I get to call that a lot. Yeah, the thing is like, there are some things. I do have quite a hard stance on immigration.

I'm fine with immigration, as long as it is done at a point that the job market and economy can keep up with. How does your dog feel about immigration, though? I bet differently. Yeah. He kind of just advocates strongly for a white ethno state. Yeah. You know, he just wants to see blonde hair than blue-eyed dogs everywhere.

You know, it's funny is that the pure bread, pure breeding dogs fucks them up. Like dogs are so purebred that, you know, they can't be born to anymore and they got all, like they can't, they have massive health problems. There's a lot of them there. That's irony, Sean. Settily different than, than funny, subtle. You should you should you should feel bitter just trying to breathe. Oh,

and I just want to think about this pure breeding shit. Now he can't even fucking breathe. Take that. All right, man, good luck in court. No, thanks for any much. We got if it doesn't work out, we'll send Keon Magano over there to put on put people in some choke slams He's he's my lawyer. He's a dick show lawyer. There you go. He's one one for one for us Can we be putting a good one for me at the American Embassy? I mean you just go full Julian Assange Yeah, you can stay down here. I got a bunker in a mountain. You could stay in it many guns guns that you can't even dream of in Scotland

We got Jamie Lee use from Texas. She'll bring in even better guns. Even better. There's a guy in the military who tried to send me a PO box full of he just said gun stuff. He's a he's a infantryman. He's like, yeah, I sent you a PO a bunch of gun stuff. Like, oh, okay. It currently in the military. He said, go check a PO box. So I went to the check to PO box. turns out he sent it to Texas instead of California Hollywood Texas Los Angeles Texas for no reason like buddy But I say it every episode I say is coming to you from the city of failure the worst city in the world Los Angeles

Fluid all right. Uh, can't Daniel. Thanks for calling him in Call back anytime. Something about the left, pisses you off. Not if you have a problem with the right, though. Don't, don't call back, then. Good luck in court. It was never, never think that it wasn't funny, because it was. I don't know, don't worry, I don't think that, I know it was funny.

It was a joke, and that's literally what it was. That's a fact. The courts can even give me a go away, I know it was funny, it was a joke and that's literally what it was, that's a fact. The courts can even give me a go away, if I had that thing, stuff like that, that will never remove the fact that this was a joke. It was funny. Thanks, man. Yeah, thank you. And talk as long as you want about getting fucked over by the government because you're

directly paying for it, you deserve it. No, but I don't worry, I have plenty of videos I can't make until after the trial is done. Oh, I have to keep... Can I not keep my mouth shut about a lot of things like getting fired from three different jobs for the video? And everything as well? Three different jobs. Oh yeah, three different places I've worked for, they found out who I was and they fired me, so I actually can't get a job at all right now.

So the longer the trial gets, the laden's longer and longer I can't work. Wow. Yeah. Can't pay for your legal, can't make money to pay for your defense to fight a dog Nazi video. Can't make the money,

can't make the money because he's being on trial. Called Catch 22, right? Yeah. You don't see him too often, right? No, No, no, no, not real catch 23. Not real catch 22 But there you go. All right, man have a good one No problem. That's a good evening. Yeah, see Kyle Oh my god, what I fucking disaster it's sickening it is sickening's sickening. It is sickening. It's fucking sickening. I was so confused when I heard about this because I assumed that he was in the States

and it just sounded like something that would never happen, that you would never get arrested for that. It's common. They get to figure out the formula. They're beta testing all over Europe and they're bringing it here. That's why we need to build a big wall.

Stop this ship, I'm coming in. Keep the press out, keep the press out. Yeah, round them up, keep the press out. Yeah, we're just, we're gonna round all the press up. You gotta press badge, round you up. So you can't go around hurting people. Just wall them all in. See, this is the kind of thing you gotta watch out for.

It's not the Nazis, but it's guys like me saying we got to round the press up. That's the, that's what they don't get. That's the dangers always shifting. It's always shifting. It's fourth generational war now. You know what that is? The nature of war is changed from being, you're needing big battle cruisers and aircraft carriers and big missiles and doomsday weapons and shoot at each other.

Change. It's fourth generational. It's on the it's you're going after one. There's no more nations fighting nations. Virtual just got yeah, it's virtual. It's just guys. It's a guy. It's a guy who has a crazy G-Hod on us. One was one guy. How do you fight that? We figured out and one as soon as we figured out how you win third generational wars. Just guys, you send just guys, you send guys in there and they all just kill each other for no reason But they do it. Mm-hmm. We got a new one now. Not gonna never gonna be another one Booth never gonna be a boots on the ground our guys versus their guys Yeah, you know not anymore That was you talking

Ancient history we don't have fail-anks and shields and shit. No one's riding horses into battle, either you fucking moron. I don't do that anymore. It's just one guy. Jamie, that dog guy took all your time. I know. Yeah, man, that guy's, guy's story scary.

Yeah. It is very scary. It is. Cause they do it here. Like they're going after guy's story scary. Yeah. It is very scary. It is. Cause they do it here. Like they're going after people's patrons now. Well, that's, yeah, it's more a monetary penalty here. Yeah. Yeah.

But which is the same. I mean, could just as easily be jail. I think they'll figure out a way to do it. Yeah. They got, I mean, they got a lot of smart people working on this stuff. They got guys like me sitting there looking at the lawn and just saying, how can we, how can we use this as Silicon Valley parasites?

How can we use this law to imprison people? Right? It's gotta be a way. If there's a will, there's a way. That's what Silicon Valley's based on. If we can, if we can dream it, if we can imagine a computer in your pocket that carries 10,000 of songs,

all pirated, of course. It's a foundation of our business, right? It is. If we can do that, then we can surely imagine a way to arrest Americans for saying things we don't like on the internet, for sullying our view. Because guys like me and Count Daniel, Dankela, we're like the guys in the neighborhood that are working out in the front yard. You know, we got our bench press set up there,

just working out and everybody comes by, these fucking guys, why do they have to work out outside? Like, sorry, fucking property. I'm always smoking. Have you ever smoked. Have you ever smoked, is it good to smoke while you work out? I always wanted to do it, because it seems like two cool things at once. I think it looks a lot cooler than it is. You give me this fucking pink straw, is it joke? Oh, funny, it's pretty cool. It's pretty funny. All right, let me see who I got on.

I got, I want to get this guy, Cantillion here real quick before we get on to his theories. Hey, Cantillion, are you there? Hey, what's up, buddy? Cantillion, how do I say your name? Cantillion's good enough. Cantillion. Cantillion.

Cantillion. So you were just at, you were just a Comic Con, right? Yeah, I wish I wasn't. That was the worst experience of my entire life. What everybody says. Why did you go? Of course, it's gonna suck. It's all like a Disney and Marvel ad now.

No, I know, but I wanted to go for my entire life and I was able to get tickets. Wait, like 20 years? Yeah. Yeah. It was the most god awful experience. It's a giant ad. The entire thing is a huge ad for all the third Third-rate TV shows that nobody wants to fucking watch. Oh God. I haven't been a long time

But I remember hating it even back then when I would go. How did you get tickets? I just got tickets. I waited in the waiting room. I you know got up at six o'clock in the morning six months ago I waited in the waiting room. I got up at six o'clock in the morning, six months ago, was so stoked for the past. I took an entire week off of work just for this event. And I left early because it was a bunch of autistic people, a bunch of just the worst people you can ever think of were hanging out there. So yeah. Smells bad too. Smells real bad in there. Oh, it smells horrible. And that's almost cute. I was hung over the first night and got there in some guy with ridiculous BO walk next

to me and almost peoped right there on the floor. So I mean, yeah, don't go. They've got to have a sensor for that man. Another, another billion dollar society changing invention of my and Sean, they've got to have a sensor like it should be like a fire alarm in f man detoury in everybody's house you gotta have this sensor on your front door that detects how bad you stink and if it's if it's red that door lock does not open i don't care how many rights that breaks all ten of them

gotta be it's gotta be just we can. We can't be existing like this anymore, man. Anyway, so what you, you were, you had some spicy tweets based on Comic Con as well that I saw last night. I got a little, kind of got some spicy tweets. What'd you do? What'd you do? So I was walking by and I saw that Maddox had a, had a booth, had a booth at Comic Con and I was like, oh, I wanna see what this guy's up to. So I go there the first day and he was already late. He didn't even show up on time. He had a couple of his fucking posters and some gilden shirts kind of hanging up.

And I wanted to fuck with him a little bit. So I saw that he had a email sign up list. So I did the great pleasure a email sign up list. So I did the great pleasure to sign your name up on his on his mailing list. No problem. Yeah. Cause you know that I don't fuck up his day. Like we're laughing at this because you just know he's so

fucking weird that'll mess up his day. And his mind is like, oh, other people are seeing this and I'm giving him exposure on my booth and my fame. Yeah. Yeah. So I signed it up, MaddixLost at Maddix.com. And I thought I was hilarious. I just, I laughed just giggling to myself, like doing a little dance to the show floor.

Should have the police come back about 10 minutes later. And it's just been like crossed out like with a big black marker like sensor bar. He is so angry, obviously, I can see his like ways. Like in seven, the notebooks, I'm just gonna print out a new sheet because I was late in the first place That's the Boba Duke again, that Boba Duke's cribble. Ah, no, no. I'm not just gonna print out a new sheet because I was late in the first place because I didn't print it out in advance. I had to find a fucking kinkos. And then something about kinkos was hypocritical.

So I couldn't print it there. I couldn't just go to the business center. Oh, because I had to use Dropbox. They wouldn't let me just upload it on FTP and print it from there. They had proprietary software that I refused to use Dropbox, they wouldn't let me just upload it on FTP and print it from there. They had proprietary software that I refused to use. Did you take a photo of this ain't you scribble? Oh, I did not.

Unfortunately, my fucking phone died because that's another problem with Comic Con is that you can't get reception because there's too many people at once. That's trying to search. So by the time I got back, my phone was dead. But you did take a picture of the original Maddox loss of Madcook.

I sure did. I sure did. We can doctor in some kind of a scribble on the photo. Yeah. Yeah. What I was, yeah. So that I went there and, you know, the best part was that he actually shared a booth with some guy.

I think John Schnapp, I don't know who he is. Oh, really? Yeah. I thought that was against the, I thought that was against the, I thought that was against the terms of service for renting a booth at Comic Con. Like you're not allowed to resell, or they'll revoke.

I don't know Comic Con's still going on. So if somebody wants to, you know, I, because I know having a booth is like important. Like you got to get on a waiting list now and wait forever. I remember forever, Maddox would always say he couldn't afford it, but he didn't want to give it up because it was impossible to get another booth. And he was like a point of pride, you know, he's all about pride, vanity.

Oh yeah. So he would broach the subject of splitting it or renting it to somebody. But if anybody found out, they would revoke the booth because they don't want you deciding who gets booth space there. And that's just what I thought, though. I thought so it was weird to hear that he's doing that. Then what happened? Then so I combined it on the day.

I want to see what's going on with this guy. And I'm not sure if you know, if you've ever seen this picture of his names like Virgil from the WWE superstar just kind of sitting there alone in his booth. The black guy? The black guy, yeah. Hey, yeah. Oh, you've seen it? Yeah, he used to be black guy? The black guy, yeah. Yeah. Oh, you've seen it.

Yeah, he used to be like the million dollar man, Ted D. B. Aussie. Oh, yeah. He was like his slave. Oh, very, yeah. Yeah. Different type. Different type. Yeah, right.

Man servant, man servant, please, please. Yeah, it was not one of the most politically correct. No big deal. He's going to Abu Dhabi by the way. What? Who? Steve. I think, no. I know he is the word he's like. No, mine is my man. My man is going to Abu Dhabi by the way. Who? Who? Steve? I think, no.

I know he is the word, he's the word. No, mine is my man. My man is going to Abu Dhabi. Yeah. He's going to get fucking arrested, dude. Yeah. Middle East with his shenanigans. Yeah.

That guy, that guy couldn't walk, that guy couldn't be square with a fucking protractor. That doesn't, that metaphor doesn't work. Whatever. Almost, not quite there. That guy couldn't be straight with a, with a protractor that doesn't that metaphor doesn't work whatever almost not quite there That guy couldn't be straight with it with a protractor still a circle Yeah, but ruler doesn't sound funny

That guy couldn't be that guy couldn't walk a straight line with it that guy couldn't be straight with a t-square how about that? Okay, I don't have funny. Yeah, all right. So what about Virgil's loneliness and his booth? Oh So I come on up to the sun Never never know can you imagine that never no all right, so here I come up to Maddox's booth because I want to get a few things signed right I have a I have a couple of a couple things signed, right? I have a couple of things in my bag that I see. Are they all humorous in nature? Maybe, maybe. I had some things that I really wanted to get signed, but we can get back to that, but I try to go up and I see the booth is just packed.

I'm like, shit. Fucking Maddox is still, maybe he's big. Maybe we're all wrong. But then I go over there and I realize, it's not people who are lining up for Maddox. Oh no, they're lining up for John Schnepp, yeah, and signing all of his posters wherever the fuck it was. And his shit, John Schnepp's shit is all over the table, like covering Maddox's books,

his, like the comics, everything. And people are just lining up for John Schnepp and there's Maddox over there in the corner, just kind of huddled on his phone. Taking pictures of fans of John snap. Hey, that's something you take some pictures of me. John snap. Hey boy, come here and take a picture. What? Who's John, uh, John snap? Uh, John snap is like he works, I don't know if he works at tip mouse. He's created a bunch of cartoons. He works on little ock. Oh, he don't work there. Oh, um, and on election night,, and he's got to work there. And on election night, I think I told him

to go fuck himself on Twitter. I shouldn't have done that. I did. He made a documentary about the first, the Spider-Man that almost was, like Nicholas Cage, a Spider-Man. Yeah, he made a whole documentary on it. He just went to the funding grounds for it.

You've seen it? Is it as good as, What would I think of it? You would like it. Okay, let's go watch that. The suit is awesome. With the electricity. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, with John Schnapp to get some exposure to his booth is what it sounds like. So does Maddox try and spin this as taking photos and look at all these fans showing up? Team up.

Like when Superman teamed up with a guy who nobody knows, that bum, Bill Bow, what is this? Anyway, what he found. So I decide to leave because, I wish I would have taken a picture. I didn't. And then I decide to go leave to go see the Game of Thrones panel, which was the worst fucking thing I've ever seen in my life. It was, it was terrible.

But then I was in a lot of shuckling. That's what I thought of these panels. Like, hey, we're from the Game of Thrones. And then it's an hour and a half of guys chuckling to each other. They were so self-important. And, you know, we got any fans of Game of Thrones in here. Oh, I've got 10 people doing that. You know, we were filming.

Oh, it's a wrap. Oh, I got a new season, DVDs. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. That's how they a new season, DVDs. That's how they talk. It's so fucked. Do you ever talk to people like that? That's how these people in Hollywood fucking talk about their product. We were doing one scene. We were doing one scene. Can you say that I imagine somebody with their hands and their slack pockets jingling the

change in their? Yeah, yeah, yeah. You kind of sound like Tom Likus. Yeah, I do. Okay, then what? So I finally go back and I was for the entire week before Comic Con, I was trying to figure out what should I get Maddox to sign and I was thinking I don't know like a copy of like the copyright infringement I was thinking one maybe

This guy I was also thinking of the, of just a few things, but finally I decided, cause you know, if I went, like if I wasn't subtle enough, Dick, you understand, you have to, it's subtlety. I know. That's what it's all about. It's also a blind spot.

He's also got a big old blind spot. I brought the Titanic VHS. Ah. No, you have to know he's not going to sign these things. Yes, you will. You just have to sound properly. Oh, he did. He signed it.

He signed the VHS because I came up and I was like, oh man, it's such a shame that you and Dick didn't work out. And he just, this look of absolute fear. He went pale white. And he was like, uh, uh, uh, yeah, I guess that, yeah, that was, that, that didn't work out. Yeah, I know. And so I was like, well, you know, my favorite bit in the only bit I liked on the show, when Dick would bring in the Titanic. I thought it was hilarious. So he was like, Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, that bit was great. It was wonderful.

So I pulled out my VHS tape and I was like, would you mind signing it? You know, that'd be great. Then he just went on. I swear like a 10 minute rant about why that bit did not work and he only blamed everything but himself. Just like that. Why that bit didn't work? So you come up and say this was the greatest bit on the show and he spends 10 minutes talking about why the bit didn't work. So you come up and say this was the greatest bit on the show. And he spends 10 minutes talking about why the bit didn't work.

He said it was funny, but because it was all the vote manipulation, he doubled down in that vote manipulation. And he signed it. And he still signed it. He signed, fuck this movie. Oh, yeah. All right. Oh boy.

Yeah, I feel love. I still love. Of course he'd sign it. I'll pay you money for that. I'll pay you money for that signed VHS and I'm hanging up right away. I will give that to you for free, dude. Oh, just.

Oh my God, you're a bad negotiator. I don't give a fuck. I just wanna see that VHS over your fucking head. I'll put it right here. Every way. I'm in perfect. Perfect. Oh, that's awesome, dude.

What makes you rage? What makes me a rage dick is fucking Comic Con. far the worst thing that has ever been created by nerd culture and everything else. You know, you try to go there and you're thinking you just go and get some comic science. See some of your favorite artists. No, all you are seeing is a bunch of third bit, third rate, fucking terrible TV shows just flashing your face every single day. Every day. weight fucking terrible TV shows just flashing your face every single day, every day. I waited out in hall H line for what, five, six, seven hours. I slept on the grass. And I was like, oh, my biggest, the biggest TV show ever, Game of Thrones. This is going to be so much fun.

I get in there, fucking people are yelling at you. Like I said before, you're just smelling B.O. It is the more beautiful thing. Exactly. Got a the more beautiful thing. Exactly. Got a new season coming out of it. That sucker. I'm finally in Lex Luthor's kid. That's the show.

The WB this year, this comcom, hey all you nerds, come on and drop thousands of dollars, gather around, sleep in the fucking grass so we can show you a 30 second trailer of our new show. Lex Luthor's kid. This guy really hate you. You think you hate your dad? This guy really fucking hates his dad.

30 second montage of a kid dressing like Superman and talking to himself except he's bald. Lex Luthor's kid coming this spring or whatever. Fuck you. More money. Get me more fucking money. Fuck you, pay me. That's Comic Con is Polly from, what is it, Casino? Or a good fella, it's fuck you, pay me.

Hey, I didn't really like that panel that you had of the game that thrones people chuckling about themselves for an hour. Ah, fuck you, pay me. Kind of stinks in here and there's no reception. What's that? I said, it stink, fuck you, pay me. There's a bunch of chicks dressed up really hot kind of stinks in here and there's no reception. What's that? I said, it's thing, fuck you, pay me. Huh.

There's a bunch of chicks dressed up really hot and I have no chance with any of them because they're getting swirmed by people. The sensory nerves that detect attraction and arousal have been deadened by hordes of nerds and fans. They've salted the earth so bad that I need a core sample to find any human being left in his girl dressed like power girl. Fuck you, pay me.

And the worst part is when you finally get into the panel, it's not like you see one panel. Oh no, you have to go and sit through like three other panels before the big panel you really want to see. So, Dick, I shit you not. I had to sit through the big bang theory. No. Who was in that? And towards the end, I don't know. Some fucking douchebags and writers and one hot chick and then, you know, in a bunch of fan girls who are like crying and screaming the fact that, you know, Sheldon married some bitch. I don't know. I didn't understand.

The single. And then the worst part is that I had to listen to 7,000 people sing the song that I guess is on the show. It's like happy bunny, fluffy bunny. I love you. And everybody did a big whole sing along. It was, it was, it was God awful. And then I finally got to the Game of Thrones panel and listen to feminism for about an hour. Oh, you did, oh no. Yes, oh, oh. Brianna Tarte, I guess, is this big feminist virtue signaling

chick now. Oh God. She don't need no man and every girl in the entire 7,000 person hall just starts fucking erupting You know what I love about Comic-Con? Is the chick's say shit that they could never get away with like at a bar with three guys in it Like they'll get up on stage and women It's a bad time that women were in power and women got more roles and Hollywood is just thunderous applause time that women were in power and women got more roles in Hollywood and it's just thunderous applause. Everyone's having their period. But they walk into like one bar and start with

that shit and they're gonna have two guys and go, hey, bitch, will you shut the fuck up? I gotta get out of here. These people are resisting my ideas. I can't argue logically or passionately against these drunk gentlemen in a bar. It's three in the afternoon. That's the environment that it is. It's like, if you're a chick and you're there, you could say and do anything you want. And it's self-mind-warping for these people. I mean, you know, you were there,

probably paid thousands of dollars to be there too. Oh, I paid $200 and I just said a hostel, a hostel with bedb bugs. I came home and like I'm just fucking like all my shit's ruined because yeah, just, yeah, just don't, just don't just don't do it. Well, you made the best of it. I'm glad you got me that VHS tape for free that you agree. I got you. You agree. I agree. I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm gonna take it back now. All right, are the deal. You got a good radio voice. Oh, thanks, she'll call in. We got people like Astero,

who call in in the middle of like having a haircut while they're fixing their jet airliner. You sound great. We have had two crystal clear calls, one coming from fucking Scotland. And we're gonna get Astero something alive. It's gonna sound like garbage, it's gonna be all fun. All right, let me get Astero something line right on the line right now. Can't tell you.

Yeah, calling again. Yeah, thanks Dick. Appreciate it. See you later. Thank you. Bye. Crystal clear. Crystal clear.

Stereo, see you there. Oh, he's got a good noise chamber. No, he's gearing up. Hello. Hello. How you doing? Geary. Yeah. Yeah. Are you going to symbol factory? What are you doing? I see a center. We got the band here. You've got a you've got a band for your five minute podcast now. Yeah. This is what I expected. A really cool band name. The criminals of crime. band for your five-minute podcast now yeah really cool band name the criminals of crime uh... there they're really funny guys and dot

yeah with the five-minute podcast we just do this new video version where it's like it place stuff guys come on we gotta yeah right is tell stories and it's got a back yet but we're shooting all day above a strip club worked up for corning studio in dribblet and then uh... So we're shooting all day above a strip club. We're at the Pumps Recording Studio in Brooklyn. And then, uh,

Mysterios doesn't even lead into the drops anymore. I just instantly just, it's not, I'm just running to an ad. Ha, ha, ha. And he's found a way to have a live band while he calls in. No, keep going, they're great. It's like new superhero name should be the capitalist. I'm not gonna do it, it's the capitalist. Hey, I guess I

wanted to talk to you about. It's great. I love it. I wanted to talk to you about the cat girl. Disavow? Because she's going nuts. But I was hoping war the fanboys would you rather save it till you're actually in here? Yeah, I'm going to be there on my birthday August 6th. And I'm going to tell the entire cat girl story from the beginning every leader text she sent me every on photo with two of the morning every time she said that her roommate stabbed her with a triangular Nazi knife and the cops won't listen to her theories anymore. Okay, okay, like I'm gonna tell the whole story unless of course

She decides to step into the heaven and I may fight with my friend Lucy Two options here, okay, okay, I got a friend Lucy. She really wants to fight cat girl Cat girl is no longer entertaining. It's actually terrible. I want to get something good out of it. So here's what's up, Catgirl. You listen to me. When I fight your fiance or your PR client or whatever bullshit you've come with now,

you are banned from the arena. Unless you would create a fight because we got to get some kind of entertainment value out of you. Every time you open your mouth it is literally cancer. It is the fucking worst. But if you step into the race with my friend Lucy and go three rounds of MMA, then we're getting something out of you. Seeing you flopping around the ring and crying and going,

I wasn't ready. I knew I shouldn't have gotten to a MMA fight wearing crocs. Where my shoes hurt, like all of it. But that's it for you, Catgirl. You've got one new staff to get beaten up by my friend Lucy. Otherwise, leave all of us alone because you are the worst. She sounds a, of sound mental state to make a deal like that. Wouldn't you say, Jamie? She stalks your Facebook all the to make a deal like that. Wouldn't you say Jamie?

She stalks your Facebook all the time. Oh, shopping in. She has been stalking my Facebook. That's how chicks work. Yeah. They find the hottest one and they attack her to try to take they try to wear her skin. Uh oh. Oh no.

She's trying to buckle a bill you. That is what they do though. Well, actually she, I made a comment. I made a post about the Lincoln Park guy feeling himself and so she goes and she made a comment from every single person who's commented on it with a link to the suicide prevention hotline. Yeah. And she did so many times that people started marking the spam.

So she is, yeah, she is human spam. Well, all right, maybe we're the fanboys we'll call him when you're in the studio, Asisterios. Well, I love to. I'm gonna be down there August 6th. We're gonna have a good time. Great. And I can't wait to hear what you got played from my birthday.

You know what I do? I need your help on coming up with some clues for the lost episodes. Oh my God. I haven't spoken to the enigma in a while, but I can see if I can get about what I say. Yeah, I need, I want to do like a scavenger hunt clues thing for the lost, lost episodes of the biggest problem in the universe, but I need the Enigma's help. And hopefully some writers who write for the Enigma's who the clues are better.

Probably need a madcooks too. I probably need madcooks. I need all hands on deck. Coach might even throw in. Her clues are gonna be very political in nature. Supreme court cases, Peruda, another one. You'll never find it. You'll never find it.

All right, buddy. All right, I gotta get back to work. Those are the stakes. That's what's up. Okay, girl You're simply the worst. You know that song simply the best you're the opposite of that Yeah, you step into the ring and you can have some of this French attention you want then you can't oh my god, the other day she said to me It's actually like your block forever boo You're five block block block the first off. You know block, block. The first dog's, you know what?

I blocked someone. I just blocked him. Why did she have your phone number? I was playing that on the sixth. Anyway. So, uh, so then, three days later, she's on my YouTube comments, and she's like, real funny.

Video is serious. It's like, wait, I thought you blocked me, and are all over Twitter calling me a liar, and a phony, and a frog, and all this shit. Sorry, I thought you blocked me and are all over Twitter calling me a liar and a phony and a fraud All this shit. Sorry. I knocked your put your fucking Beyonce down four times Well, you don't need to go nuts about it anyway fucking live stand so upset August 6th I'll be on the big show. We'll settle this. Okay, great. We'll see you then. I'll see you then. Okay, bye. Bye I'll see you then. I'll see you then. Okay, bye.

Damn it. Bye. I only found a way to add some pizzazz. Just in case there was an accidental noise on a stereo's calls, you found a way to make sure that there was noise. I just feel like he has lost total control of his life. No, he's become a beautiful creature like the red dragon. His involvement in this show has turned him into what he is inside a pure version of himself. He has blossomed into an

absolute maniac. Yes, I really think that. I think that him being on here and engaging 100% in these shenanigans has transformed him. It's insane into an immortal being What is he didn't you just get kicked out of his last place for too much noise? Who know if I don't know his who know made or whatever But he's above a strip club right now doing five minute bonus episodes on his podcast with the live We're he hid the amount of money that he makes every month too. Oh, you can do that. Yeah, I don't do that I put it out there because it's not enough. I want item not He hid the amount of money that he makes every month too. Oh, you can do that, you can do that. Yeah, I don't do that. No, I would be there.

I put it out there because it's not enough. I want item not, because that's why you hide it. You hide it because you're saying, I don't think I'm worth this much. I don't want people to know. That's why. I think. Thank you everyone who's a Patreon.

To Patreon.com slash the Dixia. Thank you very much. You're welcome. I got one more guy. I'm gonna do some voicemails. What do you think? All right. Let me see here. All right, DDD. Triple D. My favorite amount of DZ there. I am here. Yeah. Oh, all right. Let me read the email you sent me. How about that? Yeah, that's fine. It's titled. I think it's titled dick. I fucked up. Right? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Hey, dick was hoping you could provide a dick tip in regards to my situation. Period. Let me give you the short version. If you wanted it really short, you wouldn't even say that. You just start giving it. I recently fucked a good friend's wife while blackout drunk about a

week later, he came to me in confidence to tell me that he's worried she's cheating. There's more to the story than that, but that's the short version. Do I deny that I did and hope she doesn't use it as fodder in the middle of a fight or fess up and face the music? Thanks and go fuck yourself. This is triple D. All right, buddy. What's more to this story?

How blackout drunk were you? Were you so blacked out that you can't even remember enjoying it? Yeah, I don't know how it started or ended. How do you know you did it? I, because you know, you get those like brown out snapshots where you have this, this still frame of like, oh yeah, I didn't know what you look like naked now. Oh, that's, that's life. I wish I could live my whole life with the brown out snapshots.

Those are the best and the worst parts and all the shit in the middle just got erased. Like, you just never remember a day of work in your life. All you remember is the highs and lows. That's heaven. You get there and the guy plays you, but you figure it out? Yeah, I figured it out this week. And the guy just plays you all the brown out moments

of your life. So you remember what she looks like naked? What was that? Not your usual type, but I'm like not the triple D not the not the three days for your a fan. Four days less than one. Oh, see? What are we talking?

What's what's what's she look like? Um, uh, blonde, heat, uh, big ass, but not not much on the top half as you are a fan of understanding. I'll take it. I'll take it. You just got to tell me up front so I know not to start talking about boobs. You know, with girls, if they don't have it on top, but they got to go on and back, you just never, boobs never even hurt of them.

Nobody, I know what you're talking about. I'm going to ask them through and through. What are boobs ever done for anybody nothing Yeah, so I Yeah, I house to about a fifth of bourbon by myself and I was living actually with these people at the time and I didn't anticipate I didn't anticipate

senior one for the night. Everyone had gone out and around midnight and I hadn't finished the bottle yet, but around midnight they came home and home went to bed and I was just hanging out having a completely normal night. And we were smoking cigarettes and drinking whatever's fine everything was normal and uh... she made a pass at me and i had a last last thing i remember from the night what kind of past no

not cool uh... like like started you know kissing on me got my last oh jumping in the lap yeah yeah and uh... i'm ever saying like no this isn't cool it's not like i'd not okay i'm not gonna i'm not gonna sell you up the river, but like, we, so the mistake that I made was not is why is it not okay? Because of honor, stuff like that. Yeah, because they're married.

And, Marriage, another meme, yeah. Yeah, and also, I mean, dude, it's my friend, you know? I mean, if, I just, Yeah. friend, you know, I mean, I just, yeah, my dilemma is less so is less so throwing myself into the bus and more so knowing that she's obviously going to do it again and not wanting him to be locked into some shit where she's fucking around me hand his back. Yeah, it's almost like she totally did it on purpose to set a course of events that

would make that known, right? Oh, fuck. I mean, it's almost like people throw themselves like, it's like a guy who just drinks a shitload and then drives all the time, being surprised that he kills himself in a drunk driving accident. Like, yeah, well, you kind of were secretly aiming for that, weren't you? Yeah. Well, that's the whole point that you knew it or not. You were kind of, you set the trajectory when you were sober and then you enjoyed the payoff because in life,

it's hard to make decisions. So you put your, yeah. It's a, it's a, it's a, it might just like, what, I mean, am I a tool in this weird fucked up game that she's playing? Everyone's a tool. I don't think it's a fucked up game, but you're basically describing the same situation that happened to my man. I mean, that's how him and the Dutch is, like I don't know the specifics, so I'm not gonna say specifically, but he was a similar situation where he lived

with a couple and things, I think things played out similarly to what's happened to you. I wouldn't call it a game, you know. Well, I mean, it gets worse because, you know, I was blacked out drunk and I had plausible deniability, but I woke up and... Uh-oh, he was just killed. He just got killed.

Come back, triple D's. Is that better? There you are. You're back. Okay. So I did blackout and then I fucked up, but I woke up in the morning terror climbing into my bed and me going like, what's a fuck are you doing? And then kind of everything kind of fell into place and I realized what was happening and I realized that I had fucked up. And there was a full bottle of wine next to my bed. So, rather than do the responsible thing, I just had wine for breakfast and did it again.

So I had a good time. Are you an influencer? Do you have a job? Yeah, I do. I have a job. Okay, what do you do? Not specifically, but what do you do? I'm my contractor.

Okay, that explains why I have a mismatched door in my house. I had a contractor come over, came over, and I said, look, you got a door, I don't like this pocket door anymore, I fucking hate pocket doors. I want to uninvent the pocket door. I want to shoot it in this space. Every pocket door on the planet, I want to go to the house and take a sledgehammer to it.

And that one is about the worst one I've ever used. Worst pocket door ever. Get rid of it. This is how I talk to contractors. Get the fuck rid of it. All I want, I have one condition that you match the door, you match the rest of the doors in the house

when you make this door, when you replace this door. I know that you can do it because not only is it as an example of said door in the same room that you're gonna be working in there's a closet in that room with the pocket door that has a regular door not only is it in the same but not only is it in the same fucking room it's on the same wall so while you're working on this door 10 feet away is the exact door that I want you to put here like you're looking in a fucking mirror. I told him all of this. Just pretend that this is a mirror and that's what I want you to duplicate. So you hold up your hand, move the mirror, you move the mirror and it's exactly the fucking same.

Hard door, hardware, the The door whatever it takes you got to order it order it from the order it from three years ago I'll pay for it. Just get it right very simplest door in the world rectangle with two rectangle squares Not possible to have a more complicated door than this no moldinging gotta be the cheapest door in the world because it's just barely a blank door, a blank piece of wood that somebody took an elementary routing tool to zip, zip, zip, zip, done. Do it again, done. Simplest door in the world.

Duplicate it. You see that knob? Very simple fucking knob. Very simple. Nothing crazy about this knob. Simple stainless steel fucking knob. Any home depot. Any home depot you could go into and if you don't find it don't fucking do it. But he had wine for breakfast after fucking his buddy's wife. And I just thought it's where else where. And I yeah, as it turns out. He's having an existential crisis about honor and friendship and manliness. Get me worried about pocket doors. Questioning the self, questioning the self over the group, the herd.

Very important questions for us, because we evolved to protect the herd, but we don't want to. We don't fucking want to. I walk in in the middle of this, and I say, why do you have your dick in the, in the door? I'm the fucking wife, fucking my door jam, man? I said, hey, you got the wrong door. It's got a, you brought a door that has a, and as soon as I say it, he already knows it. It's not the right door.

Here's how he talks, it's different. You know, you know, like, and he does this look like a, like a child. Sucking Earth, like, like he's getting ready to get hit. Do you want me to get the right one? Like, just please, please, please don't make me do it again, because I knew it was wrong and I did it anyway. And I just kind of why.

I just because you didn't yell to him in almost right Spanish. What was almost right about that Spanish? No, it's last time you were talking about the guys outside working on your yard. Yeah. And you didn't do that this time. That's why it didn't work. It's got a hump on it.

And you go, you wanted it to match. Yeah. Like I said, like I said, like I said yesterday, then I said, don't fucking do it if it doesn't match. And he goes, ssss. Oh, this is, this is all they had. Where is it all they had?

Umberto, is it all they had at the contractors warehouse that I, that I think that they had every door in the world at? That I think you could replace the doors and fucking Versailles at the contractors warehouse where they have metal doors that I can't, that would only be at home in like one house in all of LA at that contractors warehouse? Cause like, you're fucking doubt,

they didn't have a rectangle door with rectangle ground molding cut out of it or whatever it's called. At Home Depot. rectangle ground molding cut out of it or whatever it's called At home depot Okay, do it again do it again That's my motto for life now do it again do it again do it again Till it gets to the point where I'm not quite sure if I saved any time by not doing it myself right But you can't think like that. You just can't, it's a trap. Okay, so you're a contractor.

For coming up so deep in the line. And you started hitting a bottle of wine. You started hitting a bottle of wine early when she crawled into bed with you. Then what happened? Did you bang her again? Yeah, I lost plausible liability. Yeah, that's the will to power.

Good for you. You already did it. Just keep fucking doing it. Right? Yeah, did the guilt get worse? What's up? Did the guilt get worse after you did it again? Well, I got worse when I sobered up. Well, then that's your problem. Yeah, I mean, I just said do I just stay the course? Do I just keep my fucking mouth shut? Well, I mean, I just said, do I just stay the course? Do I just keep my fucking mouth shut? Well, I mean, yeah, what do you, what do you want? Like what? So here's how I

think about it, you have, you think you fucked up. These are your, these are your terms, your arbitrary terms of what you think you owe people. And by them you think you've violated them. You want to feel better about that, and you're gonna what, make someone else pay with their ignorance to make you feel better. That sounds a little selfish to me. Yeah, yeah, all right, okay.

Fair enough. I mean, you paid the crime. Yeah. As you see it, the crime has been done, and she's still hitting me up like on a weekly basis Yeah, man because she wants to be out of that fucking relationship. What are you living with them still? No, nothing more No, I was gonna say I left. I'm gone. Okay. There's a temporary temporary living situation Yeah, I just move back so I

Do you want anything to do with her? No, no, no god no god no only when you're drunk No only that that time those times that's it with that 24 hour period Why were you hard up for a little action? Yeah, also like I don't know I feel like you know you all you have that one friend that I don't know. I feel like, you know, you have that one friend that every time you go out, it's a 50-50 chance as to whether or not you're like, wow, that was a great night or God, I fucking hate you because when I said, like, oh, we should be responsible. I'm not you're like, oh, I didn't realize you were a pussy. Yeah, that's me. That's the relationship

that my penis and bourbon have. So like half of the time my penis is like, I don't think it's a good idea. Bourbon and bourbon is like, sorry, I realize you're a pussy. Yeah. Yeah. The bourbon loves you though. You penis doesn't love you. No. So I think you're going to be I think you're going to be hitting this chick again, just based on that. The bourbon doesn't stop calling. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's sticking to you. You know, you're loyal to his lie. Yeah. To the bourbon. Yeah. All right. Bourbon for you. Right. Yeah, yeah. I've been sticking to it. You know where your loyalty's lying. To the bourbon. Bourbon will treat you right.

You're dick fucks with you all the time. You dick, oh, always fuck, always gotta, always paying for things that my dick did. Not the bourbon though. That's nice. Cause dick can't fuck you out of situations. The dick can fuck you into them, but it can't fuck your way.

You can't fuck your way out. You could drink your way out. You drink your way in you drink your way in somewhere you'd fuck your way drink your way in bourbon will drink you right the fuck out Sean You get right back to sober. I hate to say it, but you're right. You can't fuck yourself sober Right probably no or false What are you gonna do man like? What do you wanna protect your friend by telling them that his girls stepping out on him? Well, or, I mean, what'd it be better for me to just own up to it now

than have it fucking explode later and have that be the way that he finds out? I'll tell you what I think will happen if you tell him he's gonna confront her about it, he's gonna be pissed at you and she's going to be pissed at you. Yeah, pretty safe to say. And then they're going to stay together and they're both going to fucking hate you. That's what I can't happen.

I could live with that. I guess I know. All right. So just so stay the course. Shut the fuck up. Pretend that would happen. Yeah. All right.

I mean, it doesn't get any worse or better if you think on it for a little bit. How close are you with this guy? You go camping together. Do you jack off in a cell facing away from each other completely naked? Yeah, back to back, you know, back. Yeah. It's a lot easier than using the cell wall. It's a little bit softer. I mean, I don't know. I don't know. I got a thing with honesty. Whenever anybody says they're being honest,

it's just usually to use somebody to clear their conscience. Let's just kind of how I see it. Or is it very as something that I hadn't thought of it that way. I don't know. What do you want out of it? I guess clear conscience. You're right. No, I mean, I also, I fear the long term repercussions, but me. How long ago did this happen? Month. A month, and you still beating yourself up about it? Well, no, I mean, she hit me up again this weekend, so it's like it's like I get reminded. I've got a weekly basis now.

Oh. And you blew her off a little bit. Oh, completely. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, man. I don't know. I just don't think you're doing yourself any favors by telling the truth. All right, I'll forget that had ever happened.

And I don't know what telling the truth does except maybe absolve his conscience, but it's not it's not going to improve their situation. I can see how you. It's not the girl spilling the beans though. Yeah, I don't know. I don't know. You did do the beans. So you to kind of, that's it. That's an, that might happen. Maybe you should just tell her ahead of time.

If you say anything, just so you know. I'm not gonna kill you. Put it in tact too, so she has evidence. Great. What are you talking about? Talk to the girl you think? Yeah. No, that's a, then you're conspiring.

You can't do that. You can't trust this woman. Oh, no, absolutely not. No, he just, I meaniring. You can't do that. You can't trust this woman. Oh, no, absolutely not. No, he just, I mean, if you don't want it, he's just crazy, I just think it's, you know,

desperate time. Just stop, just stop doing it. If you don't want to, if you don't want to make anything quote unquote worse, just stop doing it. Let them, she's going to do it with somebody else. Like she's clearly trying to fire bomb this relationship. Yeah. I mean, that's, that relationship's done in one way or another.

Yeah. It's just with you, with somebody else, whatever. So. Yeah, I don't, I don't get the impression that I was the first or the last. Oh, no, probably not. Yeah. I mean, you can talk to your buddy without saying anything.

He probably, he probably might even know. He probably fucking knows. Of course he knows. That's why he said I think my, I have never thought my girlfriend was cheating on me. Yeah. Maybe I don't, maybe they were, but I've never had that idea.

I never had a suspicion. No. Mm-hmm. Yeah. I've had a suspicion that they were checking texts. And I go right forward, hey. The fuck, are you doing this shit? Yeah.

All right. What makes you rage me? What makes you rage me the fuck, you doing this shit? Yeah. All right. What makes you a rage, me calling? Yeah, what makes you rage? Tell me what I'm saying. Uh, Jesus, most of it's language related. I hate the phrase, I'm weird like that. Oh yeah, me too. It's, it's always some mundane bullshit

that nobody cares about. Like, it's not weird at all. That's why you're trying to sell me on that because you're just, you're boring. I'm so unique. I just, I get these things in my eyes when I wake up. I don't know if you do, but there's these like little crusty deposits when I sleep.

I'm just weird like that. I don't know. You probably don't, because you're so normal, but I do. I worked food service for a long time and I had a woman call in and the order to sandwich. I said, you asked about vegetables on her sandwiched version. And she's like, well, I don't really eat vegetables. I'm kind of weird like that.

Like, hey, you're not weird. You're just a fat bitch. And be like, is America? There's nothing. I don't know if you know anything about vegetables in America, but with it, but that's not our primary source of sust. Yeah, weird at all. You're just a fat brat. Yeah. All right. Thanks, buddy. Good luck. Don't feel bad. Don't feel bad, man. Just everybody is a virtual person and a simulation that you've created to entertain yourself before

you're dead. Nothing is real. Oh, that're dead. Nothing's real. That's right. That's right. It helps to remember that. It helps to remember that. That this is all, we're all an experiment created by Elon Musk to test the limits of human fallibility. And you have to be mine. Just bear it in mind.

No one is real. I think I think just for you. Yeah. You're right. I'm glad you're monitoring me, other. I'm gonna have a hell of a good week this week. Ha ha ha ha ha. All right, take it easy.

Triple D's. All right, Jamie, let's get to some news, please. Some news. All right, so I don't think anybody can ignore the top story this week and that's the juice is loose. Oh, oh, my fellow Buffalo Bills. So he's been paroled. And like many people, I think that when I first saw the TV that I saw it on, it was muted.

So I didn't know what was going on. But I thought it was something related to the original, you know, his ex-wife and whether or not he killed them. But it's not. He was arrested and charged for robbery. Yeah. Yeah, stealing his ship back. I had no idea.

You didn't know that? No. You millennials, you don't know shit about what's happening. Speaking of millennials. You didn't know that's why he was in jail for a millennial. No, I didn't care. I don't really think I cared. Did you know he was in jail?

No. Oh, you didn't make millennials. Struct up the radar. Classic millennial. Yeah. I see you over there were in that millennial shirt too. 1980 bitch. Space shuttle.

This was an invention for us. I'm wearing a shirt that has a space shuttle on it in 1980 because that's when I was born. This was a big deal to us. I know. We saw one of these fucking things explode. You were in your film millennials. Yeah.

That was a tragedy to us. Yeah. What do you guys have? The day that, that, that, Oh, you guys. Rihanna got her ass kicked. That was your, that was your challenger. Ah, ah, ah, the day that one direction broke up.

Is that a, is that a thing? That's that guy. Oh no, we had a fucking multi-million dollar scam blow up on going outer space. There's a big fucking deal with little kids. See, I knew you would be salty about it. Yeah, I am trying to say that you're not a millennial. You know what's funny is that for after I talked about that and people started posting links and getting really into like researching it. A couple of the links that were posted

actually made you a millennial. We're all millennial. You know what? My dad's a millennial. I saw that. It's like, I'm, I'm, wait, I'm old. I'm fucking old. Oh, doesn't have a Twitter account. Classic millennial. Yeah, classic millennial. Generation Z, classic, the fuck. Always wears, always wears the same fucking shirts

like a cartoon. Classic millennial. Classic millennial move. You know what a fidget spinner is? Yes. Millennial. Classic. Classic. Millennial. Classic. Millennial. You know what a fidget spinner is? Yes. Millennial.

Classic. Millennial. The juice is loose. The juice is loose. I'm so happy. I mean, almost. I think he gets paroled in October. I think.

Mm-hmm. So he's not out there. Just in time for Halloween. Yeah. Everybody can go around with OJ masks. He's going to go around dressed. Dressed as the real killer. Yeah Go and what go and white face or like a

Reade case. Yeah, I think his offer of $500,000 is still like to find the real killer. I think it's still there Huh, yeah Pretty interesting. Hmm pretty interesting stuff with that guy But the thing that I found funny though is um, you know, he talks about how he's lost so much money and all this, his civil suits, he's paid so much, but that guy's actually still making a lot of money. Because the NFL pension. Well, they can't touch the NFL pension.

Yeah. Yeah, so he gets a pension from the NFL, but he also gets a pension from the screen actor's guild as well. Yeah, for naked gun. Yeah, he doesn't. Oh, man, did Lesley Nielsen ever weigh in on OJ? I would love that way. I would like to get in there.

That one liner. Yeah. I love it. Yeah. OJ, what do you think of OJ? Well, I know his performance was killer. Pretty good. Sorry, I'm pulling up the next one. It's okay. Wait, it's been a long, long day. Okay, next news item. No, a fart did not cause an American

airlines flight to be evacuated from all of its passengers. So apparently, this is, this is no news. Yes. This is what you thought was news is not. There was some fake news and they had to correct it. So apparently a couple of weeks ago there was an American Airlines plane and they had to debord all of the passengers because of a foul, foul smell.

A fart. And that's what ended up being reported. Uh huh. Legitimately reported smell. A fart. And that's what ended up being reported. Legitimately reported that somebody had farted. Okay. And it was so bad. And people were like like making those hack noises. Yeah. And they had to deplane everybody because of a fart. Uh-huh. And it got legitimately reported. But they had to come back and say, no, there was actually some kind of a gas leak in the plane. Oh, so big system. From an asshole.

You think? So that, yeah, fake news is, you know, taking over the internet. You fired on planes, Sean? I'm sure I have. What do you mean you're sure you have? I mean, I know. I can't think of like, oh yeah, I'm on a plane.

Like, I never made that connection. I mean, I have. Cause it's a conscious decision. Well, no, like that guy said, when he's trying to wipe. You gotta know, you know, what kind of artillery you're bringing now. But you gotta know.

Well, no, until it's out. You have an idea. And you have an idea. But it's always the one and a million that you know what you're bringing. I got a farting on a playing story I used to go used to go fishing not me somebody else though, right. I'm so sure just to fly a arrow What was it his name was?

John California. Yeah, John Jacob's I used to go fishing magnet I used to go fishing eight magnets. I used to go fishing every year in Baja. My friends father owned this company and all the employees, a lot of the vendors and stuff used to go down. It was just a drunken, it was like an all, it was in this little town called Loretto. Baja, all it was was a little fishing village.

Two or three days of fishing and just drunken to botry. Depending on the time of year, it was usually like a Dorado billfish. Usually, yeah, you catch a lot of Dorado, cut some sailfish, stuff like that in the summertime. But it's you would. Yeah, yeah, see a Cortez, right? So it's flat. It's like 105 degrees and flat as a pool. Oh, yeah.

Beautiful. But oh, man, we have poison ourselves. It's where most people are from. So did you drink there? Everything. Okay. That checks Everything. Okay. That checks out. Yeah.

So you can imagine, you know, people's guts are not, you know, in very good shape. A bunch of white guys going down to the five degrees. No, we're going back and see the thing was, we would go, we would go down, but there would also be, you know, on this plane, there'd be like, you know, old little couples who would go down just because it was quiet and it's like their little vacation spot. And you know, it's just drunken, rowdy, 30 drunken rowdy assholes, most of whom are like cheating on their wives with like the hotel maids. Sure. And things like that. Those hotel maids don't beat themselves up. There was a no camera's policy. It was, it was those guys. So it was like, yeah, no,

no pictures, no nothing. Good. Yeah. Anyway, we're going home. Sean was there like a preacher. Oh, you guys shouldn't be doing that. Yeah. Three sheets to the wind at all times. So this one guy, I'll never forget his name, Gary. Just little, little old Asian couple sitting next to all of us.

Routing asses. This was even back when you were allowed to smoke on the airplanes. International flights. Man. People were smoking. And on the airplanes on the international flights. People were smoking. And his stomach must have just been rotten because he just apparently unleashed just a wallpaper peel.

And like it hits like an entire back third of the plane. Like you wouldn't fucking believe like my shirts over my nose. And then he gets up because he's got to go to the bathroom, obviously because he shouldn't have a fan. Probably. No, and this little Asian woman just goes, you know fair, you know fair. You know fair. Yeah, like you like that's not fair, but it was like you you know fair.

Yeah, wretched absolutely wretched. Wow. That was my recording on a plane. What are their news? Do you have this awful? ratchet. Wow. That was my warning on a plane. What are their news? Do you have awful? Okay. So do any of you remember all of

the gross accusations against our Kelly? Like you pissed on a little girl? I mean, I've heard that one too. Yeah. He's got more. What else is it? The Grammy award winning artist was accused by multiple women over several years of having sexual

relationships with minors. Sometimes video taping it. And who's a truck bearing? Creating child pornography. So now he's officially in trouble for it again. And so there's people coming forward and saying that they were involved in these videos. But they're not actually charging him for, they're not able to use these videos of this child pornography because they're saying the evidence was obtained illegally.

So now that makes me wonder, like what is this actual evidence? And now that it was obtained illegally, it will never see the light of day. Is it pissed on stuff? Who knows? Oh, I love when those celebrity, like sexual predator news items trap.

Try to, like, see, see, see, see, see. Uh-huh, don't. I'm better than, I'm not those guys. They're rich and famous, but you know, they're all this. Get it, make sure you get that, get that out to as many people as possible. So I can be a shoulder boner to cry on. It's the two like, to what Express would say.

I just wanna, I I want to be true. So bad, even though it hurts other people. Come on, just make it true. I have to tell me it's true. I do have a confession to make though that our Kelly is one of those people who aren't almost don't care. Why? Because I really like his song remix too.

Oh, oh, you don't care. No, Jamie, none of us care. Oh, so people care. So should when it Oh, oh, you don't care. No, Jamie, none of us care. Oh, it's actually, so should when it comes to kids. They don't really. They just wanna be on TV. They just wanna be on TV talking about it.

And I wanna. I care so much about Arn Kelly and he's like a couple people that he's assaulted. Hey, what about all the rampant death and shit happening? Oh, it's just so much more important than what our Kelly is doing and there's one instance of one guy harming people that's so much more in city is okay.

It's not just because he's famous and you wanna glom on? No. Does that make sense? Or is it drunk rambling? I don't know. It's both. That's what I think. It just is, we need that computer to tell us what's the big problem in that because I don't think our Kelly It's a big problem. Well We say that. I mean I don't shift our Kelly is a big problem because how much how much harm could how much could one guy

How much could one guy's piss do you could only piss so many times today? So you could only assault you You could only piss so many times in a day. So you could only assault, you could only piss on so many people, women. Yeah, because if it was men, that's as opposed to how many times can a pug give a nasty salute all day. All day. Well, there's no knock that guy out. He's got lots of those. I priorities have gotten real fucked up. Yeah, oh, yeah. Our Kelly pissing on people. Who fucking cares? Nazi Pugs.

How many, like, what the hell are you guys talking about? This goes on all, you just know about this one because he's famous. He's happening all the time. The whole country's thickest thieves, the whole world is thickest thieves with this shit. You worried about this one guy? Well, what do you think that's gonna stop?

Nothing, like a dozen people? No, that's zero for me to know about this, for any of us to know about this. Well, that sells ads. That's it. Yeah, okay. I'm trying to shift drunk years. I don't think it's it. Yeah, okay. I'm trying to shift drunk years. I don't think it's working.

I think my truck clutch got jammed. Come on, you bitch. Get in. I need you to get out of, I need to get it back to first. Get out of the mold, Lynn mode. I'm trying to shift out of mold, and get into like jovial drunk, but it's not working. Okay. Gearbox is jammed.

All right, what else you got? Well, I did have one more, but I think I'm going to skip it just because I know that episode's going really long, but I'll give you- No, no, no. Okay, well, just give you the- I'll just give you the- I'll give you the overview then of it.

Apparently, California just now extended some kind of cap and trade law for carbon emissions, and everyone's just, you know, they're so proud of themselves are very excited talking about it about how California has just, you know, taken such a great step forward in everyone. Carbon emissions. Yeah, and, but it's just, it's because of all the smog that you guys have.

We do have a little smog. Yeah, it's all from Mexico. Fuck a terrible, it floats down here from Mexico. We don't make any. Won't happen after the war. Yeah, all we do is acting and we just have emissions. Emissions free coffee cafes where we sit around and talk about our ideas for how we're better than everyone

in the world. There's no, we don't produce any emissions. It's all Mexico. It floats over LA and we take it out of the goodness of our hearts. We take the smog and keep it like a foster child over the city. Do we do that? We got some kind of emissions thing. Yeah.

Well, you already had it, but it was extended. But they're just, they're making a big deal out of it and petting themselves on the back. You know what? You don't always know me about the global warming thing in the emissions. It's like when they say that 97% of scientists agree. Yeah. Or it's, yeah, 98, 98, whatever it is. It's like, well, who are the, who are the those three guys? The ones who are on the oil companies, studies funded by the oil companies.

Oh, I think the oil companies could fund a lot more than three percent of scientists. But you can't, but yeah, but you don't get all the scientists to say what they want them to say. Some may actually have some kind of like integrity in science. Yes. No. Yes. You are overestimating people. No, they need to work just like everybody else. They need that grant money. I think there are people. Well, I think

there are, you think 97% of any group is, is like honorable and has integrity depends on the group. I don't think scientists that not not all groups are created equal. But you think scientists, um, I think they'd be a much higher percentage than other groups, perhaps. I don't know, man. Pugs. And Pugs, and Pugs will do whatever you tell them to do as long as there's a treat involved. Yeah. I think those are the treat involved. Money. Mm-hmm. With what? Three percent. I mean, if you're saying that three percent of people are, As far as integrity goes among scientists, they're still getting paid. They're all getting paid. But it's like, oh, 97% of only 3% disagree.

You're like, I'm thinking, Bullden, what does a 3% say? And why? If it's an oil company thing, I think they can get to more than 3%. I think they can infect, I don't know, 90, if we're being honest, I don't know. I don't think they, I don't think they could affect that much. I don't know, man. Money does, money talks loudly. It does. But scientists are not, they're smart in their field, but they do not,

like, they'll get rooked left and right. That's like your valid Victorian at your high school. You picture him going off and becoming, he's off in the biggest sucker. In the, like you would say, if you brought that guy to like a poker game, you're like, look, look, look, hey, hey, just don't, don't talk because you're kind of a fucking doofus, right? Like you don't understand how people are taking,

you understand facts and figures, but you don't understand people. I think a lot of scientists, they just want to do their research. Whatever it is. Yeah, but you're, and they want the, I don't think a lot of scientists, they just want to do their research, whatever it is. Yeah, but you're... And they want the... I don't think a lot of them would be able to be influenced to make...

You're supposed to... You've got ego that comes into it. Yeah. And you're... Oh, yeah. And it's not supposed to. It's not supposed to. So, here's a reality of science.

Yeah. That's all I'll say, I'm going to place some foes, Mills. They have to get funding, or they are in the unemployment line. I mean, they write like they're it's so getting funding is so ingrained in the world of research and science that they won't even the actual research guys won't even do. They'll hire soft money grant guys. They're called who all they do is write papers that produce results and they put their name on it.

Like a guy writing a movie that puts his, like, this guy gets, like a celebrity. This guy gets asses in the seats. We're putting him on top of the research grant proposal and they'll come in and write it and take like 10% of the grant and that's their job. Yeah. and write it and take like 10% of the grant. And that's their job. Yeah, and they'll go, they're like, I know the climate, I understand. Like it, it's so, all I'm saying is that the, is that if you run it like a business

where they have to get money no matter what, or else they're dying. They gotta get money and they gotta get admissions. They gotta get people applying to school. If you look at it from like, like that point of view. Well, most research is done at universities, correct? Yeah. And they get funding from all over the place.

Yeah. Grants, behests, wills. Yeah. I don't know. That's all. Like, if I look at it, like, if I look at it like a business, I'm thinking, what, where the hell are the, so who's the dissenters say? So who's influencing who? You know what I mean? Like, where did they, the like the global warming thing? Where did that, did a bunch of people go? We must be fucking shut up. Scientists come up with a bunch of facts and figures

that we are. Show me that we are. You think that's how it happened? I don't think that's how it happened. I don't know what happened. I look at all of it and I see a big old question mark. I look at all of the papers and everything and I get back to the Asperate thing like, I don't know.

I was just about to say. I don't get it. I see everything and it doesn't lead me, not only does it not lead me to make a decision, but it definitely doesn't lead me to get pissed off. There's no doubt that the longer you study something, you're probably going to arrive at a better or more complete answer. Yeah, but then you got like people, people questioned quantum theory when it came out.

Yeah. And they didn't get nailed. They didn't get called like a deny. You know what I'm saying? No. There wasn't the same emotions to abstract. Why? To philosophical. Because there's like if I'm saying if Elon Musk had a car that ran on classical mechanics to a quantum level, it would be that it would suddenly be as emotional provoking as global warming. You know, I'm just like Tesla posted profits and it was the exact amount of subsidy that we just gave there. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, where did this fucking money come? Like, there you go. That's a good smoking gun to me. Yeah. I still don't know, but it's I see that someone has a clear fucking motive to take money. So, for this.

So why wouldn't there be a bigger split amongst the, if the oil companies who can get to a lot more, you know what I'm saying? That's what I'm asking. If everybody's basically, if everybody is just basically parroting a lion, but then like look at Count Dracula, he's going to fucking jail. How many people would, like, he's going, that guy might go to jail for something that is absolutely nothing.

All it would take is 10,000 people to get a gun, storm the jail and just break him out and saying, you know what, if you guys send him the jail, we'll fucking kill you. This is, we can absolutely do this. This is a workable solution, but they just will go along with it because that's what we do. We got to protect the herd.

That's fair. It's similar to me. I'm not making, I'm not making the point well because I've had point well, because I've had a Mason spaghetti jar of booze, but that's my point. It's just when you get there and they say, hey, do you agree or not? And by the way, we're keeping this on your permanent record. So if you want to get a grant again,

you better give me the fuck an answer. Yeah, I don't know. I don't know. I'm very suspicious of it, though. Yeah, I don't know. I don't know. I'm very suspicious of it though. Yeah, I don't know. Then you go down the rabbit hole of do you believe anything? Like do you think there's any real research being done or do you think it's because it's fun to find everybody who has an agenda? I really do believe. I really do believe that there are people and groups who just want answers. No matter what they are.

I'm in that group. You just want to answer. I want to know the facts. I want to know the facts and I don't want to listen to stuff that's, you know what I mean? I want peer reviewed, published. I want it tested and tested and tested and tested. And the whole point is to poke holes, try to disprove this, try to disprove that.

It's like, look for what's wrong. Keep looking for what's wrong with it. The methodology is fucked, but it's like, I want the answer. I want the answers. Just because I want to know. For no other reason than that. We got a habit of that though. Like we want to know where fire comes from.

So we say, oh, Plato says, oh, it comes from these four elements that are in everything. Fire, earth, wind, water, fire, firewood has got, has all this fire element in it. It's elemental from people's hand. Hey, man, what are the fuck are you talking about? Yeah, that's retarded. Excuse me.

That's, that's, no, it's not. No, it's fucking not. Just because we want to know, doesn't mean that we know. And we've been doing it, we've been doing it forever. That's the only reason I bring up the play-doh thing. But you have to, you've got to try. At some point, you're going to realize

it's like, everything we thought on that was wrong. On to the next thing. But there are certain things that, there are some things that we know. There's some things that we figured out, you know, we did. I don't think we figured this one out yet. Who knows? I don't know.

It seems to, um, it's getting more expensive though. That's what I'm saying with Jamie's. I don't know why I remember after, um, after an inconvenient truth, um, there were a lot of climatologists who signed a, it was kind of like a petition saying, cool the rhetoric. Like what's put forth in that movie is not what the models show. Yeah, and you're gonna fuck up our cat, you're gonna fuck up our money train.

It's just to keep pumping this. You're gonna, people are gonna get burnt out and you're gonna fuck up our money train. No, and that's what I see. These were people from across, these were people from across the spectrum, not necessarily the ones who he would call out from being funded by special interests,

and which, you know, special interests are a huge impediment to the truth. Why? I think because everybody has an agenda. Even the individual, the individuals doing research independently have the biggest special interest there is, self preservation.

They gotta eat. They docked the the dock browns of the world. Hey, build us a nuclear bomb. All right. I'm going to fucking I'm a fill it with used pinball parts and give it back to you. Because I'm making my fucking time machine. Well, I don't know. Yeah. Yeah.

I don't know. I don't think you're wrong. No, I don't think you're I don't think that's a bad way to look at it. No, I think there are I think there are always always people who just, just want to know the truth. Yeah. But they'll do something else if they feel like they're, they'll do something else if they feel like they're being manipulated into, into doing something.

The problem with wanting to know the truth is that you have to rely on your own effort and to find it. You got to find that fucking truth. And that's what makes us all so tired. And now I give you a poem. Find me the truth in that poem. You'll come up with something. We train ourselves to do it. We train kids to do it. I'm going to give you something that cannot be. If you say that there was truth in this poem, now if you say, yeah, if you write me an essay, you find something. Look at this problem, you see all these hockey sticks

and where they're found something. There may or may not be truth in this palm. Yeah, that's a different way to frame it. It's different, it's rare. Yeah, I don't think people think about it like that. No, not most, but all right, this has been the Dix show. Jamie, what makes you a rage, by the way? By the way, every single person who has ever parked next to my car.

Every. Yeah, now that I got a new truck, I need my own parking lot. I need my own level. If I see another car, approach it, you get the fuck out of here. Start getting like the hackles up on your neck. No, yeah, I need that murder at Twitch. And I know I park far away from people. If I can, if there's space for it, I will park closer to the back.

Because I'm in shape, I can walk. I don't care. I don't need, I don't need to walking has nothing to do with being in shape. I'm extremely in shape. I can't walk 10 feet before getting winded. Right. So let's not promote that myth. Mm hmm. Sure. But if I can't, I will hunt not for a parking spot that's necessarily closer, but I'm looking for who I'm parking next to.

Yeah. And I know that it sounds bad, but the only people that I trust to park next to me are me, and people with nicer cars than me. Yeah, but not too nice, because then they use your car like tissue paper. Right. Yeah, no, I can see that. I can see that. But sometimes whenever I park my car, I'll fiddle around on my phone.

I don't know if anybody else does this, but I will definitely sit there. Usually women get in their car to leave and start fiddling around with their phone. They get in there, they'll be in there for an hour and a half before they pull out. Yeah, so I'm maybe a dick show reddit.

I'll be on my phone, just screwing around with something, Facebook. and then somebody pulls up Parks next to me. So you give him a side eye like watching you. And you know, it's almost like when you go into a bathroom stall and there's a person in there already and that you can tell they want you to leave. Wait, wait, I'm sorry. You go into a bathroom stall that someone's already occupying

and they want you to leave because because they're Because they yeah, exactly. They don't want you to hear it. So they just sit there, but then the other person. I know what you're thinking The other person also wants to and so they're waiting is so there's Shit still me. Yeah That's the worst. You're both walking in. The Mexican shut off. Son of a bitch. But that's what's happening.

I got news for you, pal. I'm not keeping it quiet. Yeah. I'm not going to try to squeak it through, because I got to blow all this through me with maximum fucking forest. Well, that doesn't happen in girls' bathrooms. Yeah, right. You guys shit like a fucking or something.

Well, I know, but they want to do it in peace. They don't want anyone to know. That's why there's the stalemate but I feel like the same thing is happening with the cars because the person they want you to get out so that they don't have to care whether or not they're opening their door into you and so it's like you see it and so I'll just sit there and I know that I'm kind of giving them that look like oh oh, I know, I know what you want to do. And so finally, with exasperation, they open the door, and you can tell if somebody melts out of their car door in order to not touch the side of your car. Could you do that again, just so we can get

clear understanding, that's good. But you know what I'm talking about? If I wasn't in my car, there's no way that they would give a damn, whether or not they're opening their car door into mine. And you know what makes it even worse is, and I know I'm gonna get real for this, but like if they have kids.

Sorry, you just didn't rail them both of us at a... Men. Yeah. Let me erase. We're not the one. But you didn't know whether they think about or whether they think about crossword puzzles or women, did you?

Or the term railed. Uh huh. So you're getting railed. No. If they have kids, now like, if they're getting out of their car and you already, you have the first chance of having your door hit with them getting out of their car,

but then they've got to go to the door behind them and open it up and try to get somebody out of a car seat or whatever, get the stroller out. Double whammy. And you know that their butt is just hitting the side of the door and it's just like bringing it into the side of your car. So too skinny of parking spaces.

It doesn't matter, no, it's not necessarily about that. Like they could just be parked too close and not want to repart. But I'm talking about you have parking spaces that are 40 feet wide, like an RV space, and I park in the middle of it, and I've got 20 feet on either side of me. I mean, I would love to do that. That's what I want.

Where are these parking spaces at? They need to start. Yeah, way bigger. They need to be way bigger. Mm-hmm. Because it just, when you have a car that you actually like, I feel very protective. What kind of car do you drive? Challenger. Challenger.

My black money. I mean, that has, you're saying that in generation Xers, like me and Sean have bad millennials. Or millennials. No, millennials don't know about the challenger. The challenger explosion. They don't know about this shitenger. The challenger explosion. They don't know about this shit.

They think everything the government does works. That's why they're so stupid. Oh, but there was that other one that exploded right over, right? Yeah, Dallas. Was it the Columbia? I think so, yeah. Yeah. It blew up right over my high school.

Why not right over, but some of the parts flew into the city, right? It spread parts over like five states. It was crazy. Skeet, skeet, skeet. Right. All right. This has been the Dicks Show. Thank you.

Got a Dicks Show dot, dick.show, thedickshow.com, patreon.com slash the Dicks Show. We'll see you next Tuesday. This one is by Max Cinderman, dear Dick and Sean. I'm a long time musician for the past year. I've been pursuing my dream of becoming a full-time professional musician. Oh, you're poor bastard. Yeah, no shit. Though I have been pre-successful so far,

I feel crippled by the fact that I completely suck at mixing and engineering. It's a big, yeah. I'll meet me too. Forcing me to shell out hundreds of dollars every time I want to complete a recording project. For the past couple of months, I've been making a personal effort

to hone my mixing and mastering skills by taking advantage of YouTube lectures and tutorials. You should do some of those. Yeah, it's a work. You should do some podcasts once. That's I know, we've talked about this. For my first project, I decided to put together a death metal cover of the theme

to one of my favorite podcasts. It will surely be an anthem to raise a dickhead army from home. I'm hoping the Sean and all his audio wisdom will be willing to rate my mix on a scale of one to ten. One being complete dog shit and ten being complete dog shit. He doesn't say that. I said that because I don't think you need to explain a one to ten. Yeah, thanks for the great podcast and hope you enjoy yours truly.

Don, the almost audio engineer. You want to hear it? Yeah. You want to hear it? Yeah. You want to hear it in MP3 or Wave format? Does it matter? Audio-tistically? Does it matter? Coming through, or the like, MP3 is fine.

Play the Wave. Oh, by the Wave shit, I already clicked on the MP3. All right, I'm playing the Wave. Get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, I caught myself. I caught my hair and my cable. Sounds like Max Weinberg. He goes to shows and just nods appreciatively, affirmatively. Jesus Christ, I got a real tango on the thing. Got a car. He's a shock mill.

Do we think so far? One to 10. Got room to grow. Got, uh, was it like a five, seven? He's in the middle. Well, that's a five. Just some stuff carved, yeah. Okay.

He's got a, he's got a car of those drums and. What do you mean, car? Start tones. He's got to, he's got to take out some of the frequencies that make it less clear and add some that will clear up those toms and snare drum, get some crack in there and stuff. But what else?

It's all just, what about his name? Max Cinderman, you think that's a good audio engineer name? She changed it to be more like less snazzy. Max Cinderman, like a dragon. He should be professional. Okay. Like Peter Ness. Just kidding, that's not professional.

You know what I mean? This show has gone way too long. Like Craig, Craig Siriusman. That's so dumb. Right, all right. Thanks, guys.