The Dick Show - Episode 61 - Dick on Mister Metokur

Episode Date: August 1, 2017

Colored pens, not noticing the waiter bringing your food, an update on Count Dankula, Mister Metokur calls in, 20 questions on checkout, brand new car door dings, AM I BEING DETAINED, Larry's poop chip, dating with HSV2, a studio-only towel, an animatronic pile of failure, punchable voices, the Manifest Observable Behavior rule or M.O.B. rule for short, diaper furries and degeneracy, escape rooms, losing a thumb, and girls not understanding deep philosophical ish; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!

Presenting dick Presenting dick Dick Dick Dick Dick Dick Ready

Yeah Yeah Yeah Ha Welcome to dick Ah, welcome to Dick. You need Dick, you want to take your love, Dick? You got it. It's the show where everything is a podcast coming to you live from a mountain bunker made of concrete deep in the heart of the city of failure

i am your house exemplified from the coldest studio on earth this is the most coldest studio on earth shan the most the coldest studio on earth equipment can barely run at the temperatures in the studio because electrons slow down there neither a part of the particle or a wave at this temperature. They are nothing. They're just math. And they're now shooting at a different angle

than they were when you started at a different angle. Do you want me to do it to fix the air? I gotta introduce everyone, then I'll fix the air. Yeah, sure, so I don't fix the air. You don't have to fix the air. With me is always, buddy. I look disgusting on the videofie

that you get at patreon.com slash the dick show, even for as little as a dollar that we have with every episode. Really? You get two videos of Jamie Lynn Hughes. Quite frankly, there's no better deal on earth than that for a dollar. I look absolutely, I look guilty as hell from sweat, from cystic, disgusting Mexican sweat that I have on me because I'm so healthy. Uh huh. That's why you are. Exuding health.

Yes. Because if you move and you don't sweat, that's not healthy. Ask any fitness professional and they'll agree with me that the mark of your health and fitness is how easily you sweat because your body is conditioned for activity. Yeah. See, fitness is still, God bless it. It's one of the few things left that you can just bullshit on. Nobody knows.

You know, with me's always a Sean, the audio engineer. Hello, dick. Hey, what's up, buddy? Today's joining us is Larry. Hello, dick. Larry Blightner from That Larry Show with his take-no-shit Dojo. There it is, buddy. That Larry Show.com.

Look at that. It's a big fist. That has T shit, Dojo. That Larry show.com, look at that. It's a big fist that has TNS Dojo on it. It's like a guy that got his knuckles tattooed and ran out of space. That's it. TNS, oh shit. Should I put Dojo on my other hand? Ah, fuck it, I'll just go.

Let it fit. Go with the knuckles on this one. You can still bullshit about fitness, right? Back in your day, you could bullshit about anything. You can do that anymore. Anything, it's getting more difficult. It is, it is. But I gotta say, you are perhaps the world's only

Rosie Cheaked Mexican. Oh yeah? Oh yeah, I mean, you have like, What do you mean, Rosie, the fuck does that mean? What does that mean? Yeah, he's got a little, he's got a little like flesh to this cheek. That's because he's blood pressure.

He's one eye. What do you think? I'm like Rosie from the Jetsons. I'm here to serve you because am I race with them? That's supposed to be. Maybe you're rusing them. Are you doing that? Rosie.

I pinch my cheeks constantly. Before the show, I'm in the bathroom going, you can do this. You can do this. You don't need costs. And then I will still listen. And then a hundred times to the right side afterwards. Yeah.

It's very methodical. So Larry's brought, you brought your chips in. Not my chips today. I did. Because Larry found a poop that he could. Well, we don't know. We don't know yet. That's conjecture.

It's conjecture by you though. No, no, no. You twisted my arm when we first, when we did that phone her a few weeks ago. And I said, I don't know what it is. Oh, no, no. No, you twisted my arm when we first, when we did that phone her a few weeks ago. And I said, I don't know what it is. And you said, and you know what it's like, could it be poop? And I said, well, it might be, but I don't know.

Okay, thank you. No, until we unseal the back, which is still seen. And then he did. And I think a stereo sheet either is for, you know. Yeah, but he doesn't know what poop tastes like. He's somebody who could identify it immediately. You know? Yeah, well, I mean, he's Greek, so he may know what it tastes like,

but he may know that it's actually true. That's true. We've got many deviants in the audience. I'm sure we've got like a fecal filiag, or whatever they call it. If you can think it exists, definitely exists. The guy who's just gonna write it. Corporal feel.

Is that what it sounds like? Corporal feel. Oh, okay. Shit sandwich. Um, we got another guy who wrote it. The famous galal sandwich. Oh, well, what is it? The foot long.

Speaking of people in the audience, we got a guy who wrote in, you know what I was saying? I want to give the lost episodes. I want to make it like a scavenger hunt. Yeah. I think Dr. Mad like a scavenger, huh? Yeah. I think Dr. Madcow was taking a crack at that. The enigma was of course, but then this dude Russell Bates wrote in and said, I designed and build puzzles for live action escape rooms.

Oh, wow. And Portland, I'm down to create a tricky like themed lock box. Yeah. For the biggest problem lost episodes. Wow. I think that'd be pretty funny Hmm Last week we had count Dankela Colin awesome. You like that one? Favorite caller so many people I talked to yeah, I mean he was just an excellent interview. How does trial go?

Well, it happened he texted me I texted him before as I came in thanks for thanks for everything Here's the episode, whatever. What's going on with your cord? Because it was supposed to happen that Thursday and Tuesday. And he texted back, that was four days after. Oh, I don't know, whatever. He texted back and said, yeah, thanks, mate. Lawyer says it's show time.

And I was like, oh my God. Like this is the last, this is the, this is the moment. Yeah. This is the moment. Yeah. This is the moment. I think he went to trial and it got like the next phase of the trial is in September. It's in phases? Is it like, does that mean that he was found guilty or not?

Well, if he was found, then the next phase would be like a sentencing phase. I, it's, I don't know. I don't know. I didn't get the specifics of it. But what I, like what I see is. I, it's, I don't know. I don't know. I didn't get the specifics of it, but what I, like what I see is just like, it wasn't, hey, we don't need to waste any more time with this. Yeah.

Like, hey, everybody who's involved in this and didn't just like do whatever you had to do to get rid, make it disappear, you're all, you're all fired. And you should be ashamed. Your children and your ancestors should be ashamed of you. All the cops that arrested you, you're all on a nice flow.

We don't want your genetics in our civilization anymore because you people are fucked. And everybody, everybody you've ever had an influence in on your life is suspect. Yeah, is on warning. This is a warning. Because an innocent with that guy's not good suspect. Yeah. Is on warning. This is a warning. Because an innocent with that guy's not good enough. No.

Like, yeah. The innocent, they still won if he's found innocent and acquitted, which we everyone hopes he is obviously. Yeah. Because the punishment is still making everybody afraid. Mm-hmm. That's what this was. Mm-hmm.

So I think they're gonna stretch it out. Like the powers that be, you're gonna stretch it out as long as possible and make it quietly go away because they got what they want either way. But people, yes, because people just remind me of a frame to step out a line. Whatever that line may be,

and they may be afraid to test that line. Yeah. Let's see, what else did we do? I wanna wrap up. Sit, sit, sit, also pecked at a transcription for episode 60, which is amazing. He also did like a personality quiz on it, which pretty funny. I'll read those later.

Let me see. Jamie Lynn Hughes got lit up for her aspartame hysteria. She was in here saying that aspartame is poison and it's the worst thing in the world. Oh, she's right. She didn't, she didn't say that though. She didn't say that at all. She just off the air. She said, it's as bad as you should stay away from it. It's I don't know. I didn't let her get into it because when women start talking, I just compulsively need to interrupt them and put my two cents in. But I was exaggerating her position and she got lit up on Reddit. She just launched a clothing store Renegade clothing dot-co I

Guess if you're a renegade if there's anything for renegade you it's only for renegade Sean. Are you? Well, let me ask you I think someone else has to describe you as a renegade. You can't be self-described I don't think so that's like WWE shit because no renegade would want to be described. Is Lorenzo Lamas the model of the clothing line? No, I hope she is not Lorenzo Lamas. I'm not gonna get. There you go.

I'll tell you what makes me rage this week before we get Mr. Mead, Mr. Mead occur on the phone. Well, I'll tell you what, what makes you ready this week? Colored pens. Oh. Sean, you know how fucking hard it is to find a simple pen blue or black in my house? Any pen?

Don't start fucking around blue or black. A pen is black ink. There's no blue is degenerate. All right. I open the drawer and it looks for a pen. pen is black ink. There's no blue is degenerate. All right. I open the drawer and it looks for a pen, the pen drawer. Cause every drawer has got to have a function, which I love. But then I open the business, bills, office drawer,

and it looks like a crayon box. It looks like there's so many colors. It looks like stock photography of pens is happening in the store. I'm just trying to sign a check. You see, I'm already doing something I don't want to do, which is paying my handyman for installing the wrong door in my house. I need a simple black pen. But what do I, what do I open it up to? A to a plethora the the nightmare of pens Some labeled the cut some with the see through shits and you can see the pen mocking you the pink Hey a pink pen. Who the fuck would ever need this color of pen?

nobody But it's it's they're growing every year Because this guy on the microphone here, maybe has bought one box of pens ever. And when I bought it, I said, this is enough, this is enough, this is an obscene amount of pens. 40 pens for my home. I'll never, maybe I'll never need another pen, you know?

God forbid, I'll never, I'll obviously never use these. I'm gonna get crazy with these pens. I'm gonna have put one in my laptop bag. In case I need a pen while I'm stumbling around. But I have plenty of pens. You know why? So many pens coming a box together because you are fighting a tidal wave of chick pens

coming at you from the other side. The crayon box, magenta, blues, greens, see-phomes, colors that have no business on any document in history. Colored pens. Yeah. John, how many colored pens you got in your house? I can't say. I haven't looked at it.

We ever gone looking? Go looking. Go look around your girlfriend's place. Yeah. Or whomever, whatever you're doing, your wife's place, whatever. And round up, round up all the pens. She's different though with the color, she doesn't do that color.

She's hiding it. She's hiding it some time. She might be, she might be. You'll be the colored, turn into the colored pens, Gestapo. Okay. You go round up the pens and count them. I'm pulling open locked drawers and all kinds of stuff. I want to know what the average number of colored pens a man has in his house.

Oh, I can tell. You can tell what, what is it? Well and excess of 400. You have 400 colored pens. Yes. They're not mine. No, you've got two daughters. Yes, exactly. I totally not mine. No, you've got two daughters. Yes, exactly.

I totally get what you're saying. It's so fun. But you know, if you need one goddamn pen to write a check with or a fucking shopping list doesn't exist. You have to be satisfied with writing in hot pink. Every fucking pen is hot pink. I go to Home Depot to try to repair the air conditioner

that is the, that is every day it gets more jerry rigged and ghetto, the air conditioner that is the, that is every day it gets more jury rigged and ghetto. The air conditioner that I'm trying to construct for this studio, every day there's more duct tape and less manufactured things. Pretty soon it'll just look like job of the hut of things I thought of at the last moment, just a mass of duct tape that will probably start talking. It'll become a creature of failure that I've built for the studio,

just a massive duct tape and tangles of furniture that I've crammed in and bowls and kitchenware to drain the plugs, the bones at the bottom of this thing. And I have to go to Home Depot to get this stuff with a list written in Hot Pink. Why? It was fine when it was just the lipstick. When they would say, you know what, I need, I need all these, I need a hundred colors to see who I'm going to be today.

Maybe I'm going to be a, maybe I'm going to be a sassy, maybe I'm going to be a fun and playful pink. Maybe I'm going to be a soldiery and serious red. Maybe I'm gonna be having way too many issues with my dad black or dark purple, right? Maybe I'm gonna be this doesn't go with my hair gold today. But it was fine as lipstick.

Then it was just had a little box in the bathroom and the drawers that I never need to go in because I don't need any of that shit. I just need toilet paper in because I don't need any of that shit. I just need toilet paper. That's it. And all of my shit can go right out on the counter. Yes.

I don't need any of the drawers. Lock them up. Make the hand, make everything in there, make it tiny. So my big, for my man fingers can't get in. Scoop it out. But that wasn't good enough. They had to get the pins involved too. Oh, maybe I need to write in a silly sky blue today.

Where do they all come from? Demons. They make them. They make them just to fuck with you. Just weird. It's like that in my office. You have colored pens at your office? There's all kinds of, yeah, like back on the producers' desks in every studio. You know, there's blue and black,

but they seem to be in the minority. Because it's the chicken fluids. They are in the minority. Yeah. Blue and black. Black pens matter. We need to get, we need to get, we need to get in front of that movement.

We need to have a day, we need to have a day when women are scared that their pens will be confiscated and thrown away. Yeah, birds. Because each one is more useless than the last. Yeah, true. Call it the pen purge. Where you just go around your house, you go around at work and it's totally fine.

If you just take any weird color pen and you throw it into the street. Don't forget the construction of them too. What do you mean? Well, it's never, with all these fucking colored pens, it's never enough that it's just a simple colored pen. No, it has to have some tricky mechanism. Like it's not click the top. Oh yeah.

It's like a cap, no, it's some of the bullshit, you twist the barrel or there's a little flange, you have to turn, there's always some trickery built into this one. Oh, you sound bullshit. It's like, who is that guy? Where it's like a Rube Goldberg machine? Rube Goldberg, trying to make those colored fucking pens.

I need a whole, I want a whole room, like a secret room. And all it has is the black pens that can't be touched. I want another dimension to just hold my pen in it. I want a whole drawer that's like a fire extinguisher and and the entire drawer, and it's just one pen is in it. One pen, like the Mona Lisa, like the crown jewels. I've never seen the crown jewels, but I imagine they're just sitting in a loosie box. The Holy Grail, so the tabernacle.

You're talking about the pen. And it opens it up like you're buying a watch, and it's just a big pen in there. I say, if anything else gets in here and I throw it away. So these colored pens, I go, I get tricked each one, I pull it out. Oh, this one's gotta be black. When it starts signing my name, oh, it's pink again. Cause I couldn't see it because it was faded.

I'm done talking about pens. Okay. I tell you what else makes me rich. It's people who don't pay attention when the waiter is bringing the food over and going over the food and somebody is just talking to you like that guy is invisible. And you think for a second, is this a halluc? Cause I'm so fucking hungry. And anything that is keeping me from getting my food is the worst thing in the world. Am I hallucinating this waiter

who's standing there and asking who's cheeseburger this is? Or is this person just sitting there staring at me and telling me a story about work that I do not care about? No. We're just sitting here to eat. And this dump, now you're making me, you're making me upset for not getting my food. You're making this waiter feel like the biggest idiot in the world who's thinking he just brought over a cheeseburger for a table where there is no cheeseburger being ordered.

And this person is just staring at me, staring at the phone. That's what makes me rage. Yeah. Yeah. I'm with you on that one. That person should be punched, right? Yeah, give him a punch, Larry.

My dad always does it what punches you know when the orders come in yeah I could see him coming a while away and I hear him I hear him he's talking to me and he's not winding down I'm dude you need to I'm giving him the clues you know like an Irish setter pointing my nose comes your food here comes the food here comes comes the food. Here comes the fucking food. Please don't do this to me. Next thing you know I'm outside. It's screaming and ranting. Cause I can't take it.

Thinking that there's something wrong with me. There's not. There's not. All right, anyway, Larry, what do you got? What makes you rage? Well, before I get to my rage, I just want to elaborate on your rage with the waiter shit, you know.

People who sit there, there, first of all, the whole idea of the, can I get you drinks? Let me go away for 10 minutes, and I'll come back with your drink, now take your order. No, if I wanted a fucking drink, I'd stop at a 7-11. When I come to eat, I want to order the food, and the drinks together. Why do that in stages?

But when you come in hot, you already know what you want. If you usually got a pretty good, right? You know, you usually have some idea. Yeah, I don't know. I think we might be in the minority in that. Yeah, you do. I can decide very quickly what I want. Yeah. But I think most people need a minute to look. Yeah. But I don't even look. I just order whatever anybody else orders. Because what I order is sucks. Yeah. So I'll just wait and like listen and then pick one. Or if I'm with one person, I'll get their number two.

And then like if they'll always change their mind. So I'll order whatever their second choice was. Or if you can't make up a mind, I ask the waiter. What's good? I hate that. Some of them really hate that. But sometimes everything's good. Aw man, don't fucking big league me like that.

Everything's good. Just say, yeah. Well, you know, you make them pick one. You say this or this. You didn't argument with you. Oh, okay. And then they say, yeah. No, my move is, I guess it depends how nice of a place you're going to, but if you go out,

if you're taking a checkout, the longer you, the longer you don't look at those menus, the hotter they get. It's like their version of trying to run your car down as low as possible in the fuel before it runs out. Like if you just, if you get there and sit there, they'll reach for the menu and then they'll see you not looking, like, oh, maybe I shouldn't look. Then the longer, the longer you leave it there, they're like, oh, is this, I think we're

doing something, that's like, that, is this, I think we're doing something, that's like their level of doing something bad. It's just sitting there relaxing, oh, baby, don't look at the menu yet. I don't like to look at the menu. In fact, I might have two or three drinks before I even proves that menu for a moment. I might never do it.

I might just make up an order off the top of my head that they'll fill. Yeah, I might'll feel. Yeah. I might walk them through it. Mm-hmm. You're gonna see some real, you're gonna see some real, real sassy mansplaining on this date. That's the, I swear to God, that's true.

You just leave it there. Everyone, they'll, every single one. Is this how you always are? You're never, you're never, do you know what's on the menu? No, I don't even know, I've never been here before. I'm just here to relax, talk to you. I want to give you all my attention right now, not this piece of paper.

I don't want anything between us. You and my third drink. All the attention right now. No, that's me talking to the drink. Then I address her. You're still here. Yeah, yeah. I knew a guy that used to go in advance of a dinner date

and pay the major deed of phone over him kisses ass and make a fucking time to press the check, really. Did that work? Oh yeah, Duke of my 20, you can say, when I come in here later at 730 with Ben Bellina, yeah, I'm a big swing and dick and I want you to, you miss a boom, yeah,

worked pretty good for him too. That's a good idea. Especially with a high-end drive. Well, yeah. Put money talks. And especially if it was like a fresh thing to impress, like oh my God, you're a regular here. Some place with $70 on trees.

My regular, look at fucking Maurice, he's blowing me up. Pressure. Sure. Wait a minute, that's a good tip because you're gonna tip anyway Anyway, so why not tip up front prime the pump. Yeah, and then they'll they know what they're getting Services are gonna change you the way Get hey, here's after this is probably gonna run. This is probably gonna cause me 50 60 bucks. Here's you know Here's a 20 worth it really, really lay it on thick.

Like I did like CPR on somebody. I did the Heimlich maneuver on somebody on you because you were sneaking food that you were bringing people and you were choking on and I jumped up and did that. And then stepped in when he was going to be fired. Right. The chef used to be my personal chef and let him go. No, he's here.

You just have like a play going. It's a good one. Oh yeah. People do that at Pillar Reader now by the old 20 in the palm. Why now? Who is that? Who doesn't want 20? Oh, I want 20 in the palm.

Everybody wants 20 in the palm. I've done it and people act like they just saw like somebody that stepped out of a time machine. Oh, shit. Like what the hell was that? So they don't want money. Well, no, no, no, no, no, no people watching you with that your will service people. Oh, I get never blank. They love it. You're supposed to make a big show of it. You don't have to. What do you mean? What's the point of doing it then? Yeah. You make him dance like a circus poodle. Hold it up like that. No, I've done it subtly.

And then you get bumped up and they're like, well, what happened? I guess they just ran. I feel like, no, idiot. I did something. I did something. The guy at 20. Yeah.

Just to get, you know, to get in. But after it actually works, does anybody say anything bad about it? No. Yeah, I was gonna say. It's just like people don't think like this anymore. No, that's true. People don't think like you got a bunch of humans out here. You got to grease the wheels a little bit.

So I'm saying, all right. Why don't you give me the crown? We'll get to your age and your chip. Have you this day, of course. Do you get to see him? Let's get to see you, man. And I really like what you've done with the place. Oh yeah. Did you see your Lego man? No,'s good to see you man. And I really like what you've done with the place. Oh, yeah

You see did you see your Lego man? No, let me see my Lego man. I'm close to him. Check to do that I think that might be my favorite one for some reason. Yeah, that is totally cool. Yeah, wow, okay I Just love that you're that your nephew was so in awe of that. Because Lego, those are movies. Those are world famous toys. Those are like, he's got experience with them every day. Uncle Dick has a Lego figure. And what do you say he goes, that's incredible. Yeah, that's incredible.

It is, what else can you say? I don't know if he means anything that he says. Just because it's so earnest, like it's so over the top earnest. I'm like, are you fucking, are you conning me, man? Don't you think? Don't you think, don't you think that would make a big impact on a four year old, what's he almost five? Yeah, but it's the way he says it.

Like he's already got that con man cadence where I think, I wonder where he got that from. Well, I shan't, I don't know. Yeah. Neither do I. His mother. Yeah. He's always, like it's always the, oh, that's the I shine, I don't know. Yeah. Neither do I. His mother. Yeah. He's always, like it's always the,

oh, that's the most amazing thing I've ever seen. And I'm like, are you, you learned this, didn't you? Like you learned how to say things like that to make people like you. Yeah. I'm a hunter, nothing would talk me out of that. Oh, no, you're probably right. He was impressed, because initially he was like,

oh, gasping. Yeah, I couldn't hide it. I couldn't fake it. Like lost his uncle. That's incredible. Yeah. Say, do you really think it's incredible or do you just think it's pretty good?

What do you want? What do you want from me? Yeah. And then his mom came and he was like, why are you badgering him like that? But because he's trying to sell me some shit. I don't appreciate it. I don't know what.

Did you get that fucking dog collar yet? She did. Oh yeah. Yeah, we're like a charm. Yeah, the electric dog collar, shut the collar. Stop it, just peter know about this. Do I have one? Do you know about that?

Oh, she think about those. I've never worn one or used one so I don't know. I should wear them there funny. Yeah, they are fun for a party. Mm-hmm. Just keep it, because you keep it around at a party, you just leave it out. And you know, you could like a moron like me,

it's like bird seed for the road running. Like I'm like, I'll walk in and I'll see that thing from 20 feet away. I'm like, oh man, I can get a lot of attention as soon as I get like too drunk to find that thing. And put it on and there's always some chick like, yeah, do it. Like, oh baby, thank you. Thank you. I needed that push so badly okay let me get Mr.

uh me get her on here hello hey what's up Mr. Meeta Kerr it's going pretty good about yourself it's weird you sound exactly like your videos yeah it's that nice tin can quality of my headset gives me that that sound. No, it's you've got this voice that I'm gonna describe as a compliment as punchable. Like it's what makes your videos so funny that so just for people who don't know Mr. MetaCur, by the way am I saying that right, is it MetaCur?

A MedaCur, but you know, it's meant to be mispronounced. It's a playoff mediocre. Somebody got really pissed a long time ago and was trying to come up with an insult and said, Medicare rather than mediocre. So that's where that comes from. Oh, all right. You create, you're tough to sum up just because I know

so much of your content and think it's so funny. But you make videos among other things. You make videos like dissecting lunatics on the internet. Yeah, that would be my approach. There's nothing better than looking at an online community full of people that are just completely batch it and saying it's entertaining. Like an example, the one I've watched, I don't know most recently, but one of my favorites was the black supremacists. Oh, I love that shit. Yeah, the chememet community and the black Israelites are some of the

most enlightened individuals you will run into on the streets of New York. So you actually run any of these guys in the wild? No, no. God, if I ran into them in the wild, I would sit down and pick their brain for like five hours. I mean, they'd call me a white devil. Yeah. Tell me go, you know, go back to the cave that I live in, but that community is just so incredibly insane and they debate each other too, which is just wild. I'm going to play a thing from your we was kings video where they're talking about how all of the kings of England are black. Yeah.

But they're like, yeah, let me see if I could find it. I thought I had a link to this, but I don't know if I'd do it. They try to impersonate them by painting over their historical portraits. Where does it end? How many historical figures were actually black? But I just want to show you something that's very interesting in this book that the original rule is of England and Britain were black. That's King George of England. The light skin black man. You clearly see the blackings. It's black men. And you see that with your glasses. He's a black man.

Jesus is a black man. They know that it is hold down. Fatehavin. Black. Black. Black. Black. William Shakespeare. Undoubtedly. Black. My God. Does it ever end?

Yeah. I don't know why I buy that so funny. It's fantastic. They're convinced that almost every historical figure that's ever existed is actually secretly a black man. Yeah. You need to be woke to that fact. No, I love it. It's like Jerry Springer.

You're like the new Jerry Springer. You find all this found footage of these dudes and put them together in these videos. What are your some of your favorite little groups that you've managed to expose like this? I think my favorite is a baby for a community that was on DeviantArt because they went absolutely insane when I did a video about them in ABDL2, adult baby diaper lovers. They wanted to kill me. I had one guy in a bear suit telling me he was going to hunt me down

with his gun. So I don't know if you've ever seen this, and this is big guy too. What is this community? What does it consist of? Baby Furs are, so imagine a furry, a guy that wants to dress up like a fox or something, but they want to take it to the next level, right? So they want to not just roleplay as a anthropomorphic animal, but they want to be

a baby version of it. So they wear diapers and shit themselves. And your problem with that is my first problem would probably be the smell because, you know, if you're wearing a fur suit, that shit's going to get matted and they're so bad, it's going to reach for weeks. I mean, there's something like I watch all your videos and you're, you also do like the rise and kind of downfall of internet celebrities. That's something I just got into. It's weird, you know, YouTube's been around for so long now, especially like content creators

on the internet. You can actually do like a behind the music kind of VH1. Yeah. You look back on people's careers as a kind of nose dive into insanity and like drug abuse, alcoholism, there's no way to break it. No, it's similar. What about the second rise?

Mm. Just bands get that. Oh, yeah, there's always the resurrection. You know what I mean? Yeah, because I was just gonna say that like the behind the music ones where bands will, they start this, they all have the same pattern. Like the drug use and every, the e-content creators,

I think you just had one that was Angry Joe, I think. Yeah, the Angry Joe show. And they all go through this weird transition where they get famous early on on YouTube and they start hating their content and then forcing the change, forcing it to be something that's not, and then hating the fans, forcing it to be something that's not and then hating

the fans for reacting poorly to it. They all seem to despise their audiences. That's like the one common theme and it's really bizarre, especially these guys that have like two, three, four million subs and these people that flocked to them almost like religiously to watch their content and they just hate them. I mean, like angry Joe's a great example of that, but I think Spoony One, which is another contributor to the site that Joe worked on,

is a better example of that. I mean, this is a guy that was making $5 to $8,000 when you added all up per month, just to talk about video games on the internet. Yeah, he just didn't care. He actually stopped producing content, but kept taking the money and did that for a year to the point where he's like making $500 a month.

Nobody watches his videos and he's posting every day about wanting to basically off himself on Twitter. Well, I don't know what they expect. Like these guys, I think it's almost like the kind of like the new money phenomenon. They get famous and they make all this cash and it must be amazing. You're making so much money. So they think, I'm going to go buy myself a really kick-ass car.

I'm going to go get a house. But they're getting all these, they're financing it in terrible ways. So when the YouTube gravy train ends after three or four years, they can't pay on any of it. And they're stuck with the mortgage that sinks them and they're stuck with car payments they can't make. And they end up destitute living in a bus shelter, not not sure what happened. Just hating any wouldie that ever paid attention to them. Absolutely.

It's that weirdest thing. It's the weirdest thing to see Mr. Mietaker's videos like spell it out because he goes through you remember when we had Josh or Null from Kiwi Farms on? Yeah, sure. Something he said about, it's not the, it's the deliberateness in the way that he goes through the failings of these people. Like step by, by the way, are you familiar with Kiwi Farms? Oh yeah, yeah.

They have a lot of threads on all sorts of unique exceptional individuals on the internet. Very exceptional. A lot of shit matters and a lot of fur. But I understand. No one would ask you why they don't get credit for some of your research in your videos. I actually did have them listed on the, it was not the Terry Davis one. It was one of the ones before that Nick Bates. i went through and i read it uh... the descriptions and it erased the old ones so i'd like the links are broken if you watch some of the earlier videos i bring up like uh... encyclopedia dramatic or key reforms when i'm so sick stuff

uh... so you know it should be in there i'm just gonna get off my lazy ass and go reattributed so what you're like uh... i mean here i don't know how to describe what you do but i know that like you you should watch out on the internet like it's the you're like, I mean, you're, I don't know how to describe what you do, but I know that like you, you should watch out on the internet. Like it's, you're, you're going to be, everything that you do is like, it's, it's, it's, it could be called bullying. I know you got your Twitter account pulled. Yeah, Jeff, not, not happy with, uh, with my, with my tweets and decided to punish me by sending me to the corner, which is Facebook where all the soccer moms hang out. So that's where I've been relegated.

What happened? Why did you get banned from Twitter? I'll give you my idea of why that happened. I put up a video taking a shot in the dark because I was looking at analytics and the way that Twitter accounts work. And I noticed that they were implementing a system that's kind of like, if you ever heard of shadow banning

on Reddit. Yeah. Okay, so they don't a system that's kind of like, if you ever heard of shadow banning on Reddit. Yeah. They don't show you that your band, but none of your stuff shows up for anybody else. Right, right. But the problem with shadow banning is eventually somebody's gonna say, why aren't you posting anything? Like you kind of disappeared.

Twitter implemented a different system. If you look at their analytics, you can find out who kind of propels what you wanna say. So like if you put up a tweet, you have these power users, right? So let's say you've got like 10,000els what you want to say. If you put up a tweet, you have these power users. Let's say you've got 10,000 people following you. You can have maybe 100, 200 power users who are retweeting the stuff that you talk about, and that spreads it even further.

Twitter found a way to cut you off and delay tweets to those particular individuals. They look at the metrics and decide who's really getting your content or whatever you have to say out there. And they cut you off from that. So everybody else thinks and sees your tweets in real time, but these people that kind of propel what you're saying don't. So I put a video up talking about it. I called it Twitter throttling.

Four days after that, Twitter basically came out and said, yeah, we're pretty much doing that actually. And then about two weeks after that, I got banned. Oh God, I don't know if I just hate this more than other people because I'm on the internet, like Twitter censorship. Sean, do you think it's a big deal at all? Sean's the audio engineer, Mr. Mita Kure. Yeah, I don't like any of that.

You don't like any of that. No, I don't like any of that. There's, I mean, I'm trying to tell where the line is. Some things, but they close the fucking computer. That's the line. That's always what I've thought. Just shut the fucking computer down. Don't look.

So what? The only thing that, like, you have the tool to block somebody and mute them forever. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, of course. That's the harassment over. I'm not on Twitter, so it's, I don't even enter into that conversation really, but yeah. yeah, but it's ridiculous that like you said shut the computer. As far as just failing the screen.

Like I thought it was, I thought it was a stupid problem. I complain about it because it affects me. I've been banned forever. Yeah, I've been banned since I started being on the internet. Yeah, because I fucking hate everyone. Yeah, I hate everyone and I want, I want to make it hurt. Yeah, I'm been banned since I started being on the internet. Yeah, because I fucking hate everyone. Yeah. I hate everyone and I want, I want to make it hurt. Yeah, I'm a bad guy. Kick me off.

That's why I write. It's supposed to hurt. This is like, yeah, shut, shut, shut it down, right? Anyway, it didn't really start bugging me until Patreon started banning people. They banned Laura's, they shut down Laura's Southern's account last week. Uh-huh. Yeah, it's not that.

Okay, I guess they've managed to, okay, whatever, I don't want to argue if she's supposed to be banned or not, but the CEO releases this video with an affect and a voice that makes you want to stab, drill through the side of your fucking head, the way this guy presents the company to people, does up the up voice, talking like a teenage girl. And he goes, he goes right in to why she got banned. And he was, he says, God, what is it?

Observable M-O-B. M-O-M-O-B. Fuck. What is it? I forget that. Something observable behavior, yeah. Yeah, where is the marketing speaker? Something that observable behavior, yeah. Yeah, where you say it's marketing speak. Method of observable behavior.

And I'm like, she got banned because of a fucking mob. Are you kidding me? Like, is this, do you guys, did you not do this on purpose? Did you not call the reason a mob? Are you so guilty, deep down that it manifested and literally, M-O, fucking B, a mob? She got banned for a mob. We're gonna ban everyone with a mob.

Like you can't write this, the film actors guild in South Park is not as, this is two on the nose. A mob. This would have been sent back for a rewrite. You gotta make it more clever than this. You can't call the reason why we're shutting people down, why we're taking their money from them. A literal you got to make make give it a little give us a longer

acronym not funny because it's too perfect and I was I'm watching this video and watching the CEO talk I think wait a minute this guy fucking grew up with this that's why this is happening people like well you can't see the line anymore. There's no, that's out of your purview. This isn't supposed to be a line that you're worried about. None of this is. You are not the law. Well, yeah, they're taking it a step beyond like de-platforming, right? Like if you look at Twitter with their terms of service and how they treat their user base, they're getting rid of anybody they don't like whether that's politically or just saying wild shit, right?

They're trying to clean it up. They got rid of a lot of porn accounts, they got rid of a lot of trolls, they got rid of a lot of political pundits, kind of leaning on the right side. And their stock continues to tank. Right. It just goes down and down and down and down. I don't understand what the point of the company is. If the opposite were true, you would see the line of thinking.

Yeah. If every time they kicked somebody like Mr. Met to caroff the stock went up i would say oh wow can't fault them for that they're looking at the numbers and they're making that decision every time they just raked in a bunch of cash have you noticed that every time that the stock tanks jack by some up i'm almost convinced we control company again yeah if you watch the numbers he's been buying up stock as it goes down uh... somebody did that during trump somebody i forget what company was with the cio made a bunch of anti-trump comments and then he he immediately

reinvested like right before he said and he sold a bunch of his shares and then made the comments and then and we've got good him, he sold a bunch of his shares and then made the comments and then went back in. Played that market. Yeah, but they de-platform you, but now they're trying to go after your financial base. So, like, if you're using Patreon or PayPal or using some website that has direct donation, they don't want you just to be silent. They want you to be destitute. And it's getting fucking crazy.

Like, I remember using the internet where you could say what you wanted when sites were much more relaxed, but now everybody's so bubble wrapped and it's so bland and it's just, it's becoming less fun to use. Yeah, it is. It really is. And I don't know how to fix it because all these things came in and took over how you access stuff. Well, we could always ask President Zuckerberg because from what I hear, he's going to be running, so maybe he'll have some imaginative solution to this.

Yeah, he's going to be running until he has to get on TV and talk. And then everybody's asshole is going to shut closing and say, what the fuck did we, this guy, this guy's got, he couldn't buy a personality to make up for what he's saying on TV. Have you ever heard him talk? Fuck no, I haven't had a lot of fun to be honest with him. Because I've read his manifesto and it's pretty much insane you can steal a personality like you stole a company uh alright i want to play this i want to play this other video of yours

called sovereign citizen this is one of my favorites the blade is there to guard those boundaries here's my license watch come and get it. This is called. This is called Am I being detained? This is a, this is a, how to series for how to be a sovereign citizen. Yeah. Yeah. I know your rights. It's very important that you know your rights. Yeah. And that you don't like the police push you around. Right. Right. That's right. It goes well when you do that usually. You always need to cite naval law because that's what's most important at a traffic stop when you're driving your landboat at 80 miles an hour and a 40. No, no law!

Yeah, here you go. Drop the night. Fuck you. Sovereign citizen, presented by Jim Co. Hello and welcome to this educational video presentation on how to become a Sovereign Citizen. It is our hope that at the end of this, you will have all the information necessary to live as a free man. Now wait a minute, I hear you asking, what is a Sovereign Citizen?

Well, simply looking at the etymology of the word gives you a better idea of what it is. Basically, it's living the life that Jesus and George Washington wanted you to live. And by paying close attention as we go step by step, you're going to understand how to exercise your rights, recognize your rights, and deal with law enforcement on the scene. Did you know that most people are unfamiliar with the fact that police officers are child hating baby rapists? Uh-huh. It's true. Would you take a ticket from a baby rapist?

I certainly wouldn't. And after this video, you won't either. So enough with the introductions. Let's get into the video. Section one, the police, it says. Hmm. Am I being detained? Ha ha ha. Am I being detained? Am I being detained? Are you being detained? Am I being detained? Am I being detained? Am I being detained? Am I being detained? Am I being detained? Am I being detained? Am I being detained? Am I being detained? These four simple words are all you need to remember when you encounter police officers. They have to say constitutional ward against being a rest. They are just not just group of people. When a police officer hears you say, am I being detained, they are legally obligated

to leave you alone, no matter what the circumstance. However, occasionally you're going to run into a police officer that does not follow the color of the law. Okay, I hear what you're saying, but there's no law that stays on either drivers license to drive a vehicle. Okay, okay. Yeah, those guys are fucking nuts.

The best part of it's the financial angle. I covered that in the second video, but they're convinced you can pay any debt you have because the government takes out personalized loans on your life and they think that's what your birth certificate is. So if you just write down your social security number and your birth certificate number and send it

to the power company, you never have to pay your electricity again. Yeah, that sounds about right. I thought, like, I didn't know the people you were talking about in these videos, but I started watching them and it's so interesting to see how sick they are and to see it spelled out so deliberately. I love stuff like that. I love watching people just do insane shit and then act like it's completely normal. That's the best part, I think, is when they're completely convinced that what they're doing

isn't insane. Yeah. And before the internet, I don't know how we would have seen these people. Oh, you never would have. It would have been on something maybe like America's funniest home videos, I guess. I don't know where you would have seen it. Okay, let me see. Let me go. Let me get some, a bunch of people send them some questions on. I ask you, Vaughan,ic hippie, tits ass or feet? I'm a tits man. I love a nice bear, like big brass. That's the thing I dig the most.

Good, asses are for guys. New to the gym. So are you doing DJ audit the fed? We get a lot of auditing the fed commenters here. What are you doing now for income? He says, what does he do for a main source of income? Haven't heard an answer to it. You have a Patreon now?

Yeah. What's that? I'm using the Patreon right now. Yeah. I ended up getting sick. That's why I opened up the Patreon. Otherwise, I would have just stuck to doing videos for the hell of it.

I just kind of, I guess, waiting it out until I can return to the land of the normal and not have to rely on Internet income. Here's one the Oli boy. How do you stare into the autism void without it's Steering uncomfortably long into you. How do you keep yourself from becoming part of it? You become desensitized to it. When you first encounter this stuff, you're like holy shit. People really dress up like adult babies and crap themselves. Like that's wild.

But after a while, it becomes so ordinary to you, you don't even flinch when you encounter it. It's really bizarre, to be honest. But there's still nobody's got a problem with them. Nobody's got a problem with the gross like obscene stuff. It's just a guy, like it's just a guy calling out charlamagne off that guy yeah what was that you recently made a video about charlamagne the god

yeah so charlamagne the god is going to be hosting this new mtb show where they expose trolls through catfishing which basically means mtb is going to hire craigslist actors to play pretend for them yeah but you know i tweeted him and i i I mocked the fact that he was hosting the show. He's supposed to be known as like the shock-jock. This guy likes to say, you know, outrageous stuff. And yet he's hosting a show basically about people crying on the internet. So I called him a little white girl and he got really angry. So he said, I'm liking your tweet. I'm going to hold on to it and I'm going to track you down for the show.

So I made a video mocking him even more because he's never gonna do shit. I Mean, I don't know man. What happened? How old are you? I'm in my 30s. You're in your 30s. So you're about you're we're we're about the same age What the fuck happened to the internet like what happened was that this is we're Pumping people's tweets Everybody's become a giant pussy. That's it. That's what it is.

They're all super sensitive for no reason. I mean, think about that. A major network is going to host a television show about people crying over tweets. Like, what the fuck? The internet has just become a joke. Everybody's so hypersensitive about everything. Nobody has a thick skin.

It's at entrance barrier. When you used to have to be somewhat, tech and client to get on the internet, that's gone now. Everybody's got access to the internet through their phone or the computer, their laptop or their tablet. So you've got all these people flooding it

and it's full of nothing but 13 year old girls and vloggers and shit. And it's full of nothing but 13 year old girls and vloggers and shit and it's changed the. But it's more than that because full grown men act like teenage girls like you know, you know I have this big feud with Maddox right where we split up and it was very rancorist and there's all these there's all these like like I made a video accusing me of maintaining a fucking rape list like this the, this is the low. Oh, you didn't, yeah, if you didn't know about this,

Maddox, the fucking writer, was so pissed off that I hooked up with his ex-girlfriend that a wedding, that he made a video taking an out of context thing I said on our old podcast and said I was a fucking rape apologist because of it. Like something that doesn't even exist, and it released it to the LA comedy scene, everybody lost their fucking minds,

but this is like, this is the currency of such a big part of the internet. Like this weird, where everybody online is now, the old saying that there's no girls on the internet, it's because every single adult man is now acting at all times like a thirteen year old girl true yet see a professional at the case everybody wants to compete for the goal to who can be the most victimized and the most hurt by a ridiculous shit and you've got a lot of like beta orbiters

like these guys that can't compete in the dating scene right and they figure the easiest way to get pussy is to act like a pussy. So they flock to these women like these online feminist or as you W's, the like hypersensitive people and just spout the same shit they hear, all in hopes that they'll impress a malady enough to get a date with her. Um, you know, I, you know, I, fucking way you think this woman's gonna bang you right? Like why in your brain, it's like a casino for pussy. Like the casino tricks you into thinking that you're having a good time and plays pleasant

sounds, but you're not getting any enjoyment out of it. We're sods and roulette. Yeah, I mean, you're not, they're not gonna get laid, but that's the majority of them, I think, that's what the draw is, that's what the poll is. I had a similar situation with somebody that I used to know who used to be just like me. We like making fun of shit on the internet, we like laughing at absurd things. And then one day this individual got trolls remorse and felt bad about it. And became like the craziest, most out there person you can imagine, like every cause that's

the new trendy thing they were adopting. You know, this writes, that writes, didn't matter. You know, rainbow bracelets everywhere and talking about the patriarchy and they, they, they went completely insane. And it's so weird because I remember, you know, we used to hang out, we used to laugh at the same shit. And now they're completely one-adie of that.

There's so far off on the other side that we can't even talk anymore. And we can't even talk anymore. Like we can't even have a conversation. What happened to cause that? I don't know. I honestly got, I don't know. It was like night and day, just one day. They started using Tumblr.

I love to pin it on Tumblr as like being exposed to that shit, maybe fucked with their head, but it just, yeah, it's just one day, all of a sudden it was. It is, it's like our parents said, you're like, yeah, it's just one day all the sudden. It is. It's like our parents said, you're like, oh, you can't run with the wrong crowd because then you'll fall into crime, right? As a kid, like, that's the meme, you know, like, oh, you got to stay away from those bad kids. Okay. But now it's like, you do not, do not get on Tumblr not even once.

Don't even, don't even start one. Don't read it. If your friends got it, just, just block it. Tumblr is blocked in this house Because it's gonna turn you into a pussy Pretty much yeah, it's really bizarre But yeah, he went from being able to laugh at anything and make all you know sorts of jokes to oh we can't say that You know that's a a protected group. We can't make that joke that might that might upset them You need to look at your privilege and it was just like what the what happened to you used to be funny used to be fun to hang out with and now

i can't stand you i just can't stand it and they did something similar you know they uh... talked about how i was there frankenstein creation that uh... they played a part in making this mean individual that would laugh at people that put on first-suits and shit themselves like that some bad thing yeah that's they deserve it that's on fur suits and shit themselves like that's some bad thing. Yeah, they deserve it. That's funny. They're putting it out there.

Maybe your friend underwent chemical castration. I don't know. Maybe he started taking hormones. I have no clue what the fuck happened. Some estrogen, maybe. Aiden Paladin for some reason wants me to ask how many bananas you could reasonably fit up your ass. I would love to go for TJ Kirk's record.

The amazing atheist I think currently is the world record holder in the amount of bananas you can shove up your ass, but I don't think I'm ever going to beat that record. What's that man is incredible. What's his record? His record is, have you ever seen the amazing atheist? He's a big guy. He's got a lot of room up there to shove a lot of fucking bananas up his butt. Yeah, but he actually did this.

Yeah, well, you know, he's a showman. Not only does he like to shove bananas up his ass, he likes to pour hot oil all over his genitals and then upload that on the internet. So that's a really great piece of art for anybody interested. Were these bananas peeled or unpeeled? I think he likes to live dangerously and he left them unpeeled. Wow. That is dangerous.

What's the number? Yeah, what's the number? I think he fed a good two or three up there. Three or three. It's a continuous, like a conga line. So I mean, I don't know if this is a bit or not. It's a bit or not. No, this isn't a bit.

The amazing atheist chef bananas up his ass and then douse his genitals and boiling hot oil as a sex tape to a woman that he was interested in. Who then brought me? Oh my God! the amazing atheist chef bananas up his ass and then douse his genitals and boiling hot oil uh... as a sex tape to woman that he was interested in who that probably god uh... uploaded it to the internet for everyone to see and it's been uh... funny as hell to watch ever since for the last six years what percentage of people are fucked do you think i mean that's that's pretty fucked but nobody would know that that's the thing like

and here's the thing i maybe it's my age and the people in my age group, but especially younger people today, don't have a concept of how terrible it is to put shit on the internet. I could not imagine being a teenager right now because that shit will haunt you for the rest of your life. It seems like people are completely fine doing a rigidly stupid shit and thinking it will never come back to them. So you get all these weird sex tapes and you get all these weird posts and you get people in these communities and they use all this personal identifying information, they put

up pictures of themselves doing really ridiculous shit. And then they're shocked when people laugh at it and say, holy crap, what the hell is the matter with you? It's just like kids these days don't have any common sense. As the amount of like how many of them are fucked a lot of them And that's the craziest thing because they're all just kind of letting loose and putting it out there Yeah, it's uh You can't drink or drive a car or vote

But you could go online and say and do way more damage with your real name Uh, although I don't know. I don't know if everyone is even going to care about that shit in 20 years. Well, yeah, by then everybody's going to have so much embarrassing shit of their own that nobody's going to mention it. Everybody's going to have to be nice because, you know, the crap that you know about me, I know about you. Yeah. Let me see, that was one of your internet tips. Never have a username for a porn site. Yeah, never ever. Never attach your name to a porn site. You're asking for trouble three or four years later when they look up your history. Hmm.

Let me see if I got any other questions. What makes you a rage? By the way. What makes me rage? I should ask you that first, yeah. Yeah, I don't like, I mean, it kind of ties into what we've been talking about. I don't like how hypersensitive people have become.

And I don't like the notion that websites, especially like Twitter or Facebook or YouTube, think that they need to moderate content for you. Like you're not adult enough to decide for yourself what offends you or what you don't want to watch. So they need to get rid of it preemptively to protect you. Like people are adult enough if they're using the computer if they've paid their internet bill to be able

to not look at something. But you know all these all these websites want to adjust their terms of service and their user agreements to make it like this just bland shit house of fake niceness for one another. And they get rid of anything that's funny or outrageous around the edge because they want to, you know, this cookie cutter image of what the internet should be. And I can't stand that. I think it's ruining what makes the internet entertaining and what makes it a draw. It's gentrifying the whole internet.

Yeah, it is. It's really. It's postifying everything is what it's doing. And it's going to have consequences later on. Like, if you can't handle banter online, how are you going to deal with people in real life when they start talking shit? Well, they're going to take banter away real life. fuck the fuck thing about this about patreon and Laura Suthering was how many people say to me well you know what what do you expect them to do

right my pull you know nothing like I don't just like with Facebook and Twitter I expect them to do I expect them to do the same thing that LG does if I'm like being an asshole in my house, LG doesn't send out the moderation squad to take my fucking television. Like, oh, the masters in his being an asshole in his house, we don't support that. We're gonna take his TV away.

So he can't use his influence to support programs that have in some way influenced him to be a piece of shit. Like Apple, if I'm screaming at my sister about electric dog collars on the phone, Apple doesn't dispatch a squad to take my fucking phone away. And then I go, I go on what? I just got on the street and scream. Don't I know it was in the terms of service though, Dick. When you bought the phone you actually listed and you signed a thing that said if you behave in a

appropriately if you drop any n-bombs on your phone we can take it away at any time it's only a three days suspension though if you pray to steve jobs you can get it back and like what there was a time when i owned that phone there was a time when i owned that phone There was a time when I owned the comment on Facebook. It was mine. It's the same fucking thing It's the same thing conceptually. It doesn't matter where it is. It's my you can't take this. This is my thing

This is it's gotten insane with It's just yeah, it's too much like you can let a user decide what they can handle and what they can't handle. You're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you not you're driving into a drug area. We're not taking your car away But we are shutting yourself driving car down so that you can't drive there Fine with that people will fucking love that they want that boot on their neck whether it's government corporation Whatever is a whole fucking segment of our population that must be ruled they fucking live for it really Yeah, there's a passive amount of people who want that kind of Orwellian dystopia. Yeah, I love it. Because they feel comfortable with it.

Right. Big mama, big daddy, big brother. I don't know, but I think we fucked up somewhere by giving them Twitter and Facebook and everything, and now we got nothing. Well, the only way around it is competition. I don't understand picture on stance, right? If you're a business, you want to make money money right that that's the goal of every business yeah so by taking away people that are bringing money into your site you're hurting your bottom line i'd rather accompany be a moral and act like a company and be like you know unless you're doing something

completely illegal unless you're putting up like kitty porn or offering assassinations for higher we're not that we have we don't care what you do and that's illegal the cops are gonna come there are lots of yeah it's a court order that says you have to shut this thing down that that's easy i have to do things that the court tells me to do sort of arbitrarily legislating morality

yeah instead of that the court might not say it but you know lawyers are expensive blabby blue we're just gonna n get this one in the bud right and that's where competition needs to step in i mean if patreon's gonna take that uh... approach where they're gonna try to do like a moral authority on what can and can't be supported financially yeah somebody can come in and do the exact same thing patreon does but just without that approach and be more successful because everybody's gonna use

the site that isn't up their ass about what they post well hatred hoat hatred on dot us is doing that. You should get on there. Cody Wilson, the ghost gunner guy, is doing that. He set me up. Yeah, I wish him success. Anything that's going to compete with that kind of crap is going to be good for everybody. All right, man. What videos are you guys coming up? I'm continuing on with that like that deviant thing where it's looking at insane communities that exist on Deviant art. So five nights at Freddy's you'd be surprised, produces an obscene amount of really screwed up porn on Deviant art that goes well beyond baby for well beyond baby for which is hard to imagine but again once you've done this for so long it

becomes so ordinary that you really need something special to make you go holy shit uh like what do they do yeah yeah that and then uh i am actually going to be finishing up this often citizens thing and uh the the final episode of that is like the reality of it because like these guys go out i mean it's funny to laugh at but these guys go out and they kill cops like they're they're a lot of standoffs where these guys are like, you can't, you can't detain me, you can't arrest me, and they're shooting cops and they're shooting up squad cars. They are?

Yeah, oh yeah, there've been a lot of cop killings. And when I did these videos, I had a lot of cops contact me, you know, sheriffs and everything else, and say like, we can't stand these people. Like, they're the most dangerous, you wouldn't think it. But we have to get special training on how to handle them because they

can be so dangerous in the field. So that's kind of how I wanted to cap it off. So I'm going to re-upload the first part that got pulled down because some sovereign citizen got really ass blasted. That was one of his, being detained thing and then put up the third part. You ever worried that a guy in a barricot and a diaper is going to come to your house and kick your ass? You know, I mean, I live up in kind of wilderness.

So if some guys walk around in a bear suit, he's going to get poached by a hunter. So I'm feeling pretty, pretty fucking confident. Nothing's going to happen. All right. That's good. Everybody wants to see you do a Maddox video if you're looking for downfalls. I think that guy can follow further though before you do a video like that. I don't know. you know, somebody brought up

because you both have Patreon accounts. We do. And they brought up the Patreon and somebody was like, Jim, you have to go take a look at the difference. And I thought, okay, you know, let's go see what the numbers are. Now your Patreon's sitting at 21,000, and that's really fucking impressive.

You got a big audience that supports you. I went to look at Maddox's $271. Holy shit, that is got a fucking sting. I will say that none of those are his parents. I'm not a single one of those 60s on the good side. None of those, none of that money is coming from his mom because he fucking hates them. So at least we know that. Yeah, he reminds me of the guy I was talking about earlier. It's kind of like a similar situation. Like it's just weird, isn't it? Like one day, man, they just they take a 180 and they're completely off in a different direction.

And you have no idea why man. It's the internet. It really fucks with people's minds. They should do. They should teach classes on it. It's more important than algebra, keeping your brain preserved from being. Keep going. Yeah, going insane. Yeah. Yeah, from being like protected from insanity all day every day,

like the worst of people. Yeah, definitely. It has a weird debilitating effect on people, once he gets exposed to it, a little bit of tumbler. And he was off to the races, who knows, maybe, maybe Maddox was browsing Tumblr more than he should have been. Uh, I think he was plowing Tumblr. That's my guess. You know, because the internet is just a chick-like.

You get a chick in there with some funny ideas. And I mean, I don't know. Not everybody can stand up to that. Bet the need of the pussy, did he? Yeah, I think so. i think that's what happened that's that individual it's sad let me see if i got anything else i have uh... you got anything you want to

uh... no i just regular videos coming out like they usually do i don't really plug myself and people are interested they're going to come find it it's hard to get people it's hard to say hey come watch my video again on people shitting themselves because it like why i I ever do that? Yeah, if you're looking for you're gonna stumble across it. It's out there. Yeah. Okay, man Thanks for calling in calling you got anything that makes you rage calling again. Yeah, I had an awesome time Thanks cool. See ya. Yep, take it easy. I got some presents some smart ass sent a towel

Future spills. Excellent. A dedicated studio towel, Larry. Good idea. I don't get a, so I don't get a series of progression of, a increasing size towels, doilys, McDonald's, doilys, Starbucks napkins, McDonald's napkins, PDC napkins that are actually a small piece of cloth,

like a reverse Russian doll. I share your, your pain. And my turn for that is all this little kind of mini-turized shit little towel that I call a dittah. And it's my house is full of dittah. A little tiny this, little tiny juice glasses instead of a beer mug. It's the dittah, the dittress syndrome.

Dittah this and dittah that drives me fucking crazy. It's an unspoken war. It is a war. Between men and women, the size of things. Because they're always trying to, like every once in a while, all of them are trying to cram through the little eight ounce sodas. That's right.

I don't know if you noticed that. I have seen it. Yeah. Pigeon portion. So what do I need? Two of these sodas? Like a soda, if the soda is so small, so small that your hand, as soon as you touch it, you instantly warm

every molecule of soda in that glass. Yeah. You might as well just dip your hand right in it. This is what they wanna pull. Nice big, double the size. We gotta start pushing back. We do. Mountain Dew needs a man- sized soda that's 16 ounces

or 20, like a fosters to combat the skinny ones. Because it, or else it looks like one or the other. And if it ever looks like one or the other, then it's while I don't know. They both deserve to be, there needs to be a third one to pull it back the other way. You see what I'm saying? Yeah. Instead of full-size napkins, it'll be finger balls next. Just dip. It'll just put little like a finger prosthesis on your finger. And then you, this is the thing that's coming.

All women will have these and you put them on the tips of your, you paint them on the tips of your fingers and you eat like a chipmunk. Yeah. And then when you're done, it's very simple. You just discard the finger prosthesis. Finger tips. Jackie Martin used to wear them for his fungus. Did he really?

Yeah, really. Somebody sent this. I don't know if I can say this guy's name on the show, but God damn, he sent like an infantry pan. My God, look at that. Wow, what is that? Military special vodka. Oh, wow.

Wow. More 10 round AR 15. Oh, but they look like 30 round clips, but it's purely cosmetic, obviously, that's legal. These are 10 round clips, I checked. Man, your fans love you. This is this is. Oh, Camo, what are those?

Camo shorts. Oh, I want those. I'm going to wear these to bed. With a button flying. There you go. Yeah, there you go. So new stuff Is that military regularly put button? I thought it was just the naval pants but everything gets a button fly. I don't know idea I don't know. All right Larry. What makes you rage or interrupted you for the call? Oh, what makes me you know it makes me rage every every purchase Yeah, every purchase. Okay I don't care whether it's Home Depot, CVS,

wherever it is, it's not a transaction, it's a fucking interrogation. Think about it. You know, it's 20 questions to get out of the store. Is that, is it cash or credit, right? Credit, chipper swipe, chip, right? Oh, what's your club number? I don't have one.

Do you want to join? No, why don't you want to join? Yeah. Because I don't want to be in your database. Okay, well, what's your email address? What do you want that for? So you can get the club rewards, but I don't want to be in the club, right?

Yeah. Okay, and then the biggie, always there could be a dozen items on the counter at that cash register. Do you want a bag? Do you want a bag? No, I'm fucking Dergo the Hindu multi-arm goddess. Why the fuck would I want a bag?

Right? No way to me. Today I'm just Larry. I'll just, I'll stuff 10 up my ass and juggle the other four on the way to my car. So don't give me a bag. Go ahead and go for that banana record. Yeah, I'm gonna add it. Exactly. I mean, really me a bag. Go ahead and go for that banana record. You're at it. Exactly.

I mean, really, you're just... Put him in a big pile. I'll kick him. I'm gonna kick him all. Do you wanna donate to kidney research? Yeah. Do you wanna free car wash? I mean, it never fucking ends.

Just let me fucking buy what I wanna buy and get out of your fucking store. That's it. And even with cash they give you shit. There's no way around this crap. I think of my old man when I was a kid he pulling a fucking gas station. Here's 10 bucks, fill it up.

Now, like I said, you gotta talk to the fucking television over the thing, what's your zip code? You know, fuck off. Just take the money and shut up and be glad I'm giving it to you. Doesn't work anymore. That's what makes me a rage. And you gotta keep it all out, give your receipt out. Oh, you'll, that's the other, do you, I forgot.

Do you want a printed receipt? Or should we email's the other thing. Do you, I forgot. Do you want a printed receipt? Or should we email it to you? Hi, fucking, I forgot. It just goes on and on and on. No, they have started doing that. You're paying with the iPad and then you got to go, oh, it's the, do you want a tip here? No.

Like I get that you put this here because dumb fucks will, a certain percentage of dummies will put yes to tip a person here? No. Like I get that you put this here because dumbfuck's will, a certain percentage of dummies will put yes to tip a person running a till. Yeah. Which no one would ever do. Should I do? And then it's yeah, receipt.

And every time they add more things on, and I flip it back, I go up, nope, there's one more. There's one more you got. You got to, you got to sign your name. You got to sign your name on this for some reason. Sometimes twice. Yes, you got to sign it.

Why do I have to sign it here, and I don't have to sign it anywhere else? Why don't I have to sign it online? Right. Why some stories do I not have to sign this on? What's the entire point of this? New system, yeah. I don't know if it's true,

but somebody told me they saw a story about homeless guys in San Francisco and I have cubes on their iPhones on their government iPhones and they're taking swiped donations are you fucking getting me and I don't know if this was bullshit and somebody I could believe I could fucking believe this I really could well yeah because that was the best part about when credit cards took over is the homeless would come up to you and be like, Hey, man, you got a dollar. And we're like, no, motherfucker, I only got credit cards. And that's it. And it's not true, but you have to, you've heard that so many times now that you have to believe

it. It's a job. But now I take credit. Now I take credit. But no American Express just mass. Yeah, man. Yeah, no, yeah, no discover. No discover.

No, fuck that shit. I mean, how come, how come the credit cards don't shut down payments on Patreon? Why is that different? Like how can pay to unset? That's a great question. That's a great question. They don't give a shit because credit cards got sent up. If you used your credit card to fill in online casino accounts. They said,

no, no, no, no, no, you guys can't do that because it's illegal. You can't do that. But so why is Patreon okay with shutting down an account? But it would, it would, there's no way it would, the optics would be the same if MX came through or discover and today uh... if you own a discover card stands for progressive policies and refugees so you're not allowed to make donations to lore southern spade tree on before you imagine how that would fly exactly the same it is

it seems exactly the same to me but not everybody just like the car, TV. Lord Southern, we don't like that you're taking videos with our Mitsubishi television in the background from 1980s. It's a big, big screen with the wood veneer on it. Big projector tube in the back. We're taking it.

It was in the terms of service, it says you can't commit any hate speech with our products in your video. You think that won't happen, but who's got in their thing, any broadcast of this is explicitly prohibited, right? That's dumb. They'll do it. That exists.

Let me see what else I got here. I don't think about golf carts. Golf carts. If you go on the, oh, this is a good one, I wanted to read. I had a friend who amputated his own thumb with a golf cart. Really? Yeah, he rolled it. Oh, shit.

Rolled it took off his thumb. Popped it right off. Right off. What happened? He's out there loaded, you know, just hot riding around and went up a berm and rolled a fucker and somehow on the kind of. Cop between the flip took his thumb off.

How was your cat. How was it? How was it? What could be more funny than that? When was that? Oh, a long time ago. How did he function without a, how does he function now? Like a nine-finger man, that's a, that's a bad one to lose, too. It is, man.

Yeah. Yeah. Lose that ring finger in two seconds. I don't care. Million bucks take it. I don't ever get always pisses me off. It always is caught up with the other fingers It always hurts to use hated pop a Greenwich village. They got my thumb Charlie. They got my fucking Oh, he should great. They snip his thumb with the was like rose bush years. Yeah, it's not hideous, but funny Did he like regret? Oh the girl got oh, yeah, yeah, years. Yeah. It's fots hideous, but funny. Did he like regret? Oh, the golf car guy. Oh, yeah, absolutely. Yeah.

I cured him of drunk driving anything. Okay, this one comes from Mike, Mike, you know, Hey, Dick, I just listen to your story about you fucking with a broken arm, especially broken arm, and well, in relation to Denzel, not being able to have sex when injured, tell him he's a fucking pussy. I broke my wrist. I broke my wrist falling from a tree on Tuesday. I got the back slab on that night.

And on Wednesday morning nailed my girlfriend, despite the cast, not only was my wrist fucked, my back head and growing all were, and I was still seriously injured. Just worked out. All you got to do is use the parts of your body that aren't fucked in order to the thrust. So I used my left elbow, my right leg. I've realized I'm just as powerful. If not more when I'm seriously injured, she came just as much. And I lasted three times as long. Nobody is concentrating so hard. Probably a lot of pain.

Nobody's too injured to fuck. That's what you do if you want some staying power. Just's concentrating so hard. Probably a lot of pain. Nobody's doing you to fuck. That's what you do if you want some staying power. Just give yourself a pinch. Buy yourself another two minutes. How well how many minutes does like minus a thumb by you? I don't know. How's your guy? How did he fuck up? You lost his thumb? Yeah, just like a tensed girl for it.

You probably get, you know, four fingers mean something else and you know, I got a thong. Somebody also explained, do you remember of you and I had that argument about the 97% consensus on global warming? Yeah, that's the number that I hear. Me too. But I was just wanting to know who's the three then. So a guy explained it to me.

Apparently, they asked, this is what this guy says. Apparently, they asked 12,000 scientists and 33% responded back. They said, hey, are humans causing global warming, right? Sure. And of the ones that responded, 97% said, yeah. Okay. So, yeah, they didn't get responses to me. That sounds like

33% say it's yes. That's a flawed say. I mean if I go Well, you're never gonna get if it's like one of those things you're never gonna get everybody to respond to your Survey, right? Well not everybody, but you would think more than 33% they probably either thought, the way this question is phrased is flawed or and whoever is making money with the answer being yes, probably is gonna say yes. The guy who's not has no opinion. But how many of those respondents are wearing furry diapers? Yeah, right.

What should you think that's? That's like, don't you think that's a little fucked that they say it's 97%? Yeah, well, What do you think that's like, don't you think that's a little fuck that they say it's 97% and it's like, well, it's 33. It's what, well, I don't know if it's 33 either, but it's, I mean, it's kind of lame. If nothing else, you mean the stat? It's kind of, yeah.

Yeah. Maybe you send it again, right? Yes, we sure. Like say it's free frame it as a no, or as an I don't know. Like, hey, do you know or not know this? Maybe, maybe, because it's so mad about you ask the question. Of course, we've touched on that a little bit last week

where, and again, it goes back to the insurance thing that happened where it's like, do you want this insurance or this insurance? Like, while I was talking about, it's like, do you want this insurance or this insurance? Like, while I was talking about, it's like, oh, well, you don't have to have it. It's, you were talking about if, uh, find the truth in this. Yeah. As opposed to like a lineup photo where it's like the suspect

may or may not be in here. Yeah. And we got a hundred kids. Hey, who, who wants pizza? Yes or no? Yeah. Uh, uh, 30 of. Hey, who wants pizza? Yes or no? Yeah. Uh, 30 of them said, yes, pizza, the rest said, didn't respond. Didn't respond. A hundred percent of people want pizza.

Like, that's not what that says. Hey, you guys want pizza or Chinese and 30% pizza, 70% Chinese. Different. Yeah. What kind of scientists were? They were, they were the ophthalmologists? Were they, I don't know. Geologists? Were they climatologists? Well, actually, I actually looked into this a little bit more. Yeah, you just very, like, five, 10 minutes.

It depends because it's not just one survey. Yeah. Yeah, and it's all the bodies, all of the, whatever you want to call them, the entities worldwide, all the, I don't know if you want to co-elish, the words are escaping me now, but the associations of scientists, there are no groups that dispute. I call them frauds, whatever. That's what there are. There are no groups left that dispute that man is probably driving global warming. The last one was the American Association of Petroleum Geologists. Okay.

And now they don't, they don't have a stance on it. As opposed to saying, no, we don't. Yeah. Yeah, we don't have a stance. Everybody else says it, it it's everybody else ranges from, it's likely we are too overwhelmingly, we definitely are. So it runs the gamut of that. Okay, that sounds like a negotiation.

That's what it's a, I'm up for that. That's what it's, that's what I found. 97% though. Yeah, not, not that. Well, that's such a poor, that's such a poor response. Yeah, you mean misrepresentation. Well, it's a poor response to a, I don't think you can say the, the, the inverse is true though. What that? The only people who sent them back, like you can, you definitely can't say you don't know basically. I mean, I know how to hang up on a survey.

Yeah. Like that's what, that's what I know. Yeah, I'm just a dumb idiot. When people ask me questions that I don't give a shit about, I say, I don't know. But I got other shit to do. I'm exactly right. I got 27 questions to answer to buy this. It's a hell of a deep bow.

In a pink written note from the dimensions of what to buy, I don't know, I don't know. Is that an answer? No. No, so then I'm not doing the survey. I'm not doing this. Yeah, exactly. Okay.

And how many of those surveys were answered in hot pink ink? Oh, well that's, we got a bunch of that. 97. Throw that out. I got a question from Travis Bateman. Larry, you might be able to weigh in on this. Hey Dick, longtime listener and Patreon subscriber with a non-fake email.

Whoops. I'm 29 year old male living in Kansas City. I got the old HSV2 right around the time, the biggest problem broke up. It's a herpes, the herpes, simplex virus too, right? Syplex two. Oh no, that sounds like a bad one.

Yeah, that's the revenge too, that's the sequel. That's the gift that keeps on giving. Yeah. That's the one with power windows, right? The simplex too. Yes. Yeah. I don't know who I got it from.

Well, but the only good for you, good for you, that's cool. You know, he was getting laid. Yeah, if you're gonna get herpes and you know who you got it from, eh, that's sad. But if you, if you don't even know, that's cool, man. It doesn't change that you got herpes.

Well, yeah, I mean, he's looking at the positives though. No, no, no, no, I'm with you on that. I don't know who I got. He's still having, it doesn't make the herpes any better or worse, does it? Well, it makes it better. Because if you knew who you got it from, you got to think of that person every time you get a breakout.

Yeah. And they probably fucked you over. Yeah, I mean, they definitely fucked you over. Sure. But in a vacuum, you know, it's fine to, what I'm saying is it's fine to look on the bright side like that. Like he could think of that.

Because he still got the herpes either way. He could think of the hottest girl that he was ever with. Yeah, like that. Like he could think of that. He's still got the herpes either way. So he could think of the hottest girl that he was ever with. Yeah, like Ashia probably gave him to me that bitch. Right. But does this man is fast on the lip or the thing don't what's the thing? It could do both both. Yeah, it's your own.

I think it does. Courage. Yeah. But the only reason I was tested for it and other things is I wanted to find a gal to have a long-term relationship with. Millie found one. Her name's Harpies. There are a few of them. There's a few of them.

There's a few online dating services with heart-leaning girls. Their girls were dating. This is terrible because the normal dating pool is huge and the HSV1 not so much. That sucks. Yeah. I am more depressed than normal because a great gal I was talking to just gave me the cold shoulder back on the app.

Oh man, you think they sneak the, they sneak that they have kids onto the app. Imagine them sneak in this. Imagine the fine print for finding HSV2 on the app. Yeah, that sucks. That sucks. Got the old silent treatment, no idea why. That's why.

Well, because, I mean, you can if you're medicated and you know if you're educated about it, your chances of transmitting it are very low, right? No, man, really? I don't, I, I think it's pretty low. Who wants to roll those days? Yeah, how much do you really low If you're pretty low, like 97%. I don't know.

I don't know. You wouldn't take that risk, would you? I sure is, fuck, wouldn't. I mean, depending on how big are cans were, but I can't, no, there's have to be a hell of a set of cans. But you're an ass man, what do you care about cans?

Didn't you say that? No, no, no, I'm not. No, he's a can man. Oh, asses are for dudes. Oh, I walk on two legs. Mine, asses are for leg and things. Two legs, I walk upright. Okay.

Your ass is right there. I tried your advice of not letting you die in the vine by throwing a text now and then, but I won't be a beta bitch. Left to simmer on her backburner. Any advice on landing a gal or at least learning to live with oneself without a companion to go on vacation to shit all, thank you.

That's sad. It was tough. You got any advice where I figured you might have met some, you got a thumbless guy around there. You got any HSV positive guys. I don't have any personal experience with that. I should hope. I'm happy to say.

But you know, my advice to him would be, and it's horrible to say really. Chop your dick off. You could do that. That's option one. All right. You get the right golf cart. You could probably do a thumb hand

that's the same thing. That would be a hell of a trick. Yeah, wouldn't it? The 19th hole. The other thing, I mean, he doesn't say how old he is, does he? Because there's a window of opportunity here and it keeps closing. I would say.

What's the window of opportunity? Well, age-wise, I mean, you don't know, I don't know what's his intent, is he just want to find somebody for the long term in the next six months. The go on vacations. It's a good vacation, isn't shit. All right. He wants to get married. He want to find somebody, you know, for the long term in the next six months? The go on vacations. It's a good vacation's in ship. All right.

It wants to get married. It wants to get married. Well, then if that's his intent, you know, you can fish in that, in that simplex to pool and wherever the fuck it is at dating site. But the other thing, and it's really, it's really insidious and wrong. But we're here to help, aren't we? Yeah. Is that a non-adaptive?

Well, yeah, help, just having a broad guy and a guy with a vision about banging of, I don't know if we ever figured out if she was a retarded girl or not, but. Well, there's the old adage of getting someone a little bit pregnant. Now, I'm not saying he should infect her with this drug. Oh, God, that's not what he said.

Yeah. That's not what I said. Okay. Okay, what he could do is just sort of keep it, keep it, keep it chased until the chick is wildest in love with him. And then, then, Oh, baby switch.

Not baby switch. And then say, listen, at some point, say maybe the two month line, then say, you know what, oh my God. I think I should tell you, I carry the red badge of courage. You can walk away now, no fear, no foul, or live with it. That's it.

I think that's the truth. I think we're better off with the golf cart. Yeah, but you know what, that's probably what we would all do. And what are you just throwing it out there? You meet a girl at a bus stop. Hey, what's up? I like your shoes. I got the herb.

I don't know if you burped the herb, but I do. Yeah. Your odds would be better of hanging on to one doing it your way. Yeah, because one of them is going to think like you that with medication, it's mostly harmless. Well, I think you can, I think that the transmission rate is pretty low if you know the virus. You think so? Well, I think so.

Well, I think back to my single days, I do recall a date with some chick. Oh, yeah. And she said to me over dinner, you know, I have whatever, sort of her something like that. And my response was, check please. Does you really say check please? Almost. I would have been great.

It was a quick head to the evening. Like no interest after that, zero. Absolutely not. Yeah, if it's a first date or something, I mean, you know, I don't think I've ever dated a single mom. Or a woman with a, you know, a woman with a kid who wasn't married. But it's got to work because like it's always said to not do it.

So it's got to fucking work. Yeah. Oh, the kid, the mom with kids. It's kind of the same. You know, you throw it out up front. It's like a smoke grenade. They're not going to be there when it clears. Yeah, but it's a four time divorce aid.. They're not gonna be there when it clears.

Yeah, but it's a four time divorce day that we give a shit with Tom like he said. I don't know, really. All right, let's see your bag of chips, Larry. Oh, the bag of chips. This shit, the shit. All right. You ready?

I wish we had some theme music. No, what do we do? Really? Now, I'm gonna have to shake this around because as you usually see in these things, some settling of contents You occur, right? And the the foreign object in

Transporting it here to your bunker dick as shifted from the surface of his bag And as you know, I oh here it is. I will not open I will not open this until you know We're not gonna open this we're not today, but we'll look and we can show it. Can you see that there? Well, you know, we're not going to open this. We're not, but we'll look at it. We can show it. Can you see that there? Go on. Now the question is whether or not you've got poop

in your bag of chips, right? Well, whatever it is. Now I think it's like poop to you. It's got girth, it's got mass. It is not chip shaped, it's not flat. Man, it is tough to see because it is covered. You know, there's always a little bit of oil from the chips, even though these seem like

pretty dry chips. It's making the cellophane just a little bit translucent to where you can't see the texture perfectly. It's covered in chip dust. Right, right, right. It's intriguing. It's intriguing. It is intriguing. How do I look at that thing?

It's chip. Yeah, it's... I mean, it looks like poop. It does. It really does. I don't know what that thing it is, but it looks. I don't know. It's warped though.

There's no asshole this could have come out of, because it's like a disc, but it's a got stepped on. Well, it's been through process. Exactly. It's purple though. Is it purple? It's a little, I think we need to check to look at this. We do.

Because we don't have good color receptors. We do. I think this might be purple in which case, I've never, purple poop, I think it is. I have very much lower odds. I think the chick of puppies should. The dog got into a beet field. But now you're talking, that's double magic.

I know. I would believe a poop got in and that there is a purple poop. It looked brown to me, but I can see what you're talking about. I, that's why I need a chick to look at this. Preferably as hot as possible. Yeah. Are you gonna take this home with you? Absolutely, but I'll bring it back at any time.

Yeah, I think we need Lacey to look at this. We do. Because if it's purple, I'm out. Yeah. But I don't know. Eating a lot of boys and berries. How are you going to tell? How are you going to tell? Here's my proposal. I think definitely Lacey should look at it. I think you should have, like I said, a chick with herpes look at it. Is there fur attached

from like a costume perhaps or a ring that we can. There you go. And then it's, and then it gets some more opinions. And then of course the Patreon livestream viewers, they can get a maybe some kind of a look at this. And then I think we should bring in, oh wait a minute. Somebody, I know what's happened here. Really? Yeah, I'm gonna keep that to myself.

Oh, okay. I've got evidence. Okay, hang on, hand that bag to me. Just, no, no, no, you look, come on, no, you look already. You gotta, I'm gonna take it. I'm gonna use that in the comments. Bullshit. I'm looking at that for two months.

What? I found something. That's bullshit. I found something. That's the equivalent. I know the answer. He found something that was like fellin' up. No, I know the answer.

I know the answer. I have secret evidence that is within this bag. Let me see that again. No, do not let him see it. He saw it already. Okay, let me see it again. No, I can't see see it. He saw it already. Okay, I won't. Let me see it again. No, I can't see it.

It's buried in the... No, no, no, no, no, no. Let me see it. I just want to look. He said not to show it to you. Oh, come on, come on. It's the dick show. Put some pictures up in it.

Larry, thanks for coming. You're that Larry show, right? That Larry show.com. I'm a big fan of him. Oh, I got a couple episodes. I have to plug. Okay. Next one, Tony Spamante is back.

Get that chip. This Tuesday, like you've never seen it before and a special bonus episode inspired, really by Denzel. Oh. Okay, decoding chick speak. Huh? Okay, why don't you go with your age, single married,

they're speaking another language. This is gonna decode it, you need this. Cool. All right, this is, I'm gonna play E-Lay Arsons, got a new album, just released it and he's got a stereo son, one of the tracks. Oh wow. What, calling from like a rivet factory or something?

No, he's gonna be in here next week too. I'll be right in here. He's next to interviewing a dynamite or in a limestone quarry. It's called Rites of the Damned by Eli Arson. Here's the Stereo's track. And I don't know if I play a bunch of voicemails. Wow, she's pointy.

Let me see her. Oh, mercy. Oh yeah. It kicks in, it starts slow because it's about being damned and the rights of the damned. It's about to get really loud. It might. It doesn't mean rights like the Bill of Rights.

It means like the last rights. I don't know what those are exactly. It's something that you get told if you're damned. It's this, it's this music. And if you listen to this music, you'll be damned. If you it's this it's this music. It's a cool. And if you listen to this music you'll be damned. That's what it is. That was a stereo. That was a long time ago. I'm going to play it again. Sure. Digital Cyber. Now you go listen to our glory you go download it at elay arson dot com slash album slash rights of the damned get Scott you need a really good point on the show about how the millennials don't

have any kind of catastrophe to the compares to the space shuttle exploding in your lifetime. It was really good. It's a small thing that happened. I think it's called 9-11 fucking retard. I'm pretty sure several thousand people exploding in the building just hit that plane and you were a little bit worse than 12 stupid spacemen falling out of the sky and the brie on the gun of school. It was right. It was great.

It's a fucking sucks. It wasn't the same. It wasn't the same because that was God fucking us over with the challenger. You know, incompetence. It was our ambition and competence, though. There was lessons we could learn from the challenger. Did we try too hard to go into space? Things we could learn about ourselves and about America. What do we learn about

World Trade Center? Oh, so this is uh, oh, oh this this is how much this is how much freedom we could take away. Oh I see Didn't know that before none of the lessons were good Didn't get any better It's stopping it. We learned a lot of things that I don't want to learn Yeah, I don't think it was the same. There was no war on incompetence after the challenger.

It's true. You know, like the department of home, the department of incompetence, just going around, everything that everybody's doing. Ah! There was a war on O-ring, so I think. Yeah. And somebody said that they tried to stop it. But it's like honoured them forever that they weren't able to. Really? They knew

it happened. They knew it happened. Really? Yeah. I hadn't heard that. As they knew it was fucked up. It's proof that I'm not a millennial though. Because I didn't think about that. Yeah. Yeah. Big real question. What the fuck is up with bitches and sign language? I feel like you've never made a guy who's like I'm learning sign language You're really important to me in sign language But every fucking bitch I know it's like I'm learning sign language and college Why that's like probably the least use let's say quote language a whole time. Yeah, what kind of fucking sugar You're doing was that at least with French or Spanish,

you could actually do it with that food for thought. Oh yeah. Kiss they ever go visit Coco, the gorilla. Yeah, bitch, why are you learning Klingon? Don't meet some guys. Yeah. You know, you're not doing much with the language you know. You're on the internet a lot.

Learn LVish. You burnt it out. That's what women, why do they love languages so much? Have you ever been interested in learning a language in your life, Sean? Well, it just filled a fine art requirement for high school. Yeah, two years, four years. For Spanish, whatever,

it doesn't barely means shit, barely retain it, but every, every chick is like, oh man, I've always just, I've always wanted to learn another language. Oh, I've got, I've got a Rosetta Stone in every single language that I like to look at. I don't do them, but I like to look at the box and pet them and I stroke them and I imagine

what my life would be if I lived in gay, Perry, my new friends. John Luke. Like why do they love languages so much? Like what the, what the, why do they, they wanna be interrupted in another language? What the, what's the deal? This one's not working out?

Well, you think, like what do you think's in that other language that you can't say in this one? Yeah. Romance. Sometimes it may just be romanticizing the whole concept of you think of, oh, I wanna speak Italian and Florence. Of course. Yeah, I guess it's like a guy,

like women and languages is like just a guy getting his first tool kit. Oh man, I'm gonna just care so much stuff from the, no you're fucking not. You're gonna make it worse than you're gonna call the guy you found on Yelp. You're not gonna fix anything that's what I was like to make that exact analogy yeah sign language oh dude I got this uh I got this mig welder got this new mig welder out in the out in the ground when the fuck are you gonna use that dude you're gonna need a weld anything

I feel compelled to warn all the dickheads out there about the dangers of going to the eye doctor. Look, I just left the eye doctor. They dilated my eyes and checked out. I was like, I'm 21 fucking years old. I got no eye disease, man. So I took me a minute to find you on my contact to call in because I can't fucking read anything.

They had me sign signing all this paperwork and the very attractive young lady is saying, probably can't read it. You know what bitch I wish I could read it because that's a legal fucking signature. And these people are the eye doctor. I might have just signed my life wait. I have no fucking idea.

I might have just signed my life wait. I won't fucking know those two guy damn wait. They fucked him out. Fuck the eye doctor. I like it. 500 hours for a pair of glorified sunglasses. What the fuck? We're those goofy old man.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. The guy was the one who called in about monarchs wanted to know if he should quit his job. Oh, same guy. That was him. I remember him. Yeah. I remember him. Yeah. I remember how that went. Yeah. How did that go? Um, he, he stayed at the job with the hot chicks, I think. Yeah. Or he didn't.

One of the other. Hey, Dick, I've got a rage for you. Taxans like Jamie Lynn, he was over there. Uh, uh, you, you don't trust people to not scratch your car in a parking lot unless you're watching them. And yet you're just going to think it's totally fine that they can all just get whatever guns they want. Which is an absurd argument coming from me because I love guns. But because of Texans, I want to just take everyone's guns away because they're such assholes. You're ruined the fuck yourself. Oh.

Yes, I didn't think about that. I am worried about people digging my car door with just the power of a door, but I'm okay with them having an RPG. Well, you've got some contemplating to do. I gotta think about my sovereignty. Has your truck yet sustained a ding? Yeah, I don't want to talk about it. Oh, no, ding? Yeah, I don't want to talk about it. Oh, no, really?

Yes, I don't want to talk about it. You have to talk about it. No, it's got to, you'll feel good. It's got a fucking ding on the handle. It's got a fucking ding on the passenger hand. And I came to your door. You know, when that was, you stowed upon you? No.

Or by whom? No, there was a time in his life that I did not. Because I did not have bothered him. I know. That is what happens when you've lost some battles, you've won some battles, and one way or another, you've worked for what you have. And somebody just to fucking take it away, even that little bit, whether it was an accident,

is hard to, you can't rap Pearl around that grain of sand. If I did know who did it, there would be a bigger thing on the entire front of the truck because I would have just ran right into them. Of course. Yeah. Here you go. The big show. This is the Andrew and I wanted to tell you what really really makes me a rage. And that's what people speed inappropriately in the car. I'm not going to take the moral high ground and say I don't speed it.

I even drove in drunk. So I got no room to talk. But it still makes me mad. Speed in my highway. Speed where I'm going to make a list of what you can't speed. Maybe you shouldn't speed it in a parking lot. Maybe you shouldn't speed it in a parking complex. My elderly neighbor basically got killed today.

So the founders teeth on the other side of the street. Basically, she's like 90. Yes, someone who's 145. It might have felt more complex. I was with him until it was about killing an elderly lady. I was like, eh, well, as your case, no need to bring in the children in the elderly, sir. That'll be enough of that. You just take a moment and think about yourself. Did he just stop right there?

Yeah, he just stopped right there. I do hate it when some assholes on the freeway go in like 120 miles an hour, zipping around. Oh, yeah. I get, dude, what are you? So down near where I used to live, kind of near downtown LA, there was a kid about two or three years ago, he was driving absolutely nuts. Luckily didn't take out anybody else. He was trying to pass people on the shoulder.

Oh, and his name was Sean Jake. Flip. No, got the car squirrely somehow flipped it, launched himself through the windshield onto the overpass sign onto the Colorado exit. You can look it up as three or four years ago. Yeah, he shot himself onto the the freeway sign. Yeah, completely dead, of course. And then there was a hoop under it, the coincidentally that he fell through. Yeah. No, it was, and I'm going,

it's kind of the perfect outcome, isn't it? Yeah, didn't hurt anybody else. You think he had time to enjoy it? Like when he got it, he was dead. When he had the windshield. Yeah, but what if I I'm an optimist. windshield or window? Why, where he came out?

Yeah, what if his window was down and he just flung out? Well, that's it for me, I might as well enjoy it. He started playing the space jam song in his head. That would be if I could fly, you know? That would be a unique sensation. There's no doubt. And he would have no one to tell.

He just, that's the a unique sensation. There's no doubt. Any would have no one to tell. He just, that's the moment is all his. Right. Well, I'm through the air. Taggy Syke is kicking in. It was the happiest moment of his life as he saw the rapidly approaching and enlarging Colorado Boulevard exit one quarter mile.

And he looked at the, I wonder where I'm gonna hit. I wonder where on that, no way I can hit that. No way I'm gonna hit that thing. I'm gonna, right into it. It has fence or a freeway and die that. But here it comes. I think I'm really gonna on that no way I could hit that. No way I'm gonna hit that thing. I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna,

I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, Long those odds are no he probably had a good time sure Was he thinking about clean underwear? Is my hair cold? How do I look? Well after your fucking ass goes through your head Here's what makes me a rage it's girls not understanding guy to bait slash discussion. So me and like, I don't understand that I know, we were talking about, you know, I'm giving point, they're giving counterpoint. I'm counter-power pointing.

I'm not a point count, point count going on. And all of a sudden, the dudes girlfriend and these two other girls are like, hey, like are you guys still arguing with each other? It's like, bitch, we're not arguing with each other. We're having discussions here. We're figuring it out. And we're not arguing with each other we're discussing it out we have a yeah we're kind of action about it

that shit like you can see that shit translate over to other shit about how you'll talk to women about stuff where it's like you know you'll be like die i think this and you'll go well now i don't think it's actually that because of this this this this and they'll go, why are you being so hostile towards me like, to God? I'm not being hostile, bitch. I always scream like, you know, like my

passion about the conversation, don't let them come in. It's like, go on, you know, let's shift this to me off so much. Are you gonna be addressing that on your next bonus episode about decoding what things women say? I might, what's the thought? Might be a thought provoker, yeah. You think like John Adams and Thomas Jefferson's wives were like really fucking annoyed with that all the time? Of course, of course.

This is not new. Of course. They wrote those letters back and forth and they're out, you know, they're in there at home just constantly running them by. Yeah. Do you think this would make him feel like an asshole enough, or should I phrase it this way?

Just like, just fucking, what doesn't matter? It's just gonna get, it's just gonna get stomped over by the military industrial complex in a hundred, two hundred years. It doesn't fucking matter. What do you care about this so much? Oh, this is serious business. We're building a union that will last until the end of time and she's like bitch, please And you have nothing in there. You have nothing in there about the cap of the size of Congress They're income. Yeah

Really smart guy. What are you gonna do with all the slaves? Oh? Well, we'll figure that out. Okay. You got it. Keep writing your letters. You and John Adams. I'm the woman in this scenario. Calling each other calling each other atheist and her mafra diets. Yeah, those two guys keep it up. All serious business. Oh the fate of the union. What union? No serious business. Oh, the fate of the union. What union? Spongebob guys. A bunch of tobacco farmers.

What the fuck union are you talking about? A bunch of drunks. Uh, uh. Uh-huh. I'm gonna be on a $2 bill someday. Jefferson on a two. Jefferson's on the 10. I'm sorry.

Wait, no, Hamilton's on the 10. Shit. Is Jefferson on the 10. Shit. Is Jefferson on the two? Yeah, I think he, I think, because he's on the, you know, he's on the signing on the two, the back of the, I think he's on the, he's on the front of the two. I haven't seen a two and forever. Forever. Couldn't tell you.

Yeah, no, Hamilton's on the 10, of course, right? Yeah, man. Washington, Lincoln, Hamilton. Jackson. Jackson, Grant, right, on the 50. Franklin 50 Franklin Franklin on the Franklin on the hundred Yeah, grant on the 50 grant on the 50 Safe forever no one's ever gonna want to replace that 50 the 50 and no one's coming for that. Yeah I'm gonna be on a $2 bill

You're still gonna be dead dude. dude. What the fuck does it matter? Writing all these letters, getting all pissed off. Didn't you pay it, why don't you come over here and do some of this pie that I just made, right? For talking about something else. Very crass woman. Well, did I know what? That Sally Hemings was three quarters white.

Who's Sally Hemings? The slave who was like, he had fathered children with a black slave and stuff. Jefferson? Yeah. Oh, she was mostly white. Really? Oh, I just learned that.

And still a slave? Yeah, she had a different job than the slave. It was the whole thing was they went and probably could know what that job was, right? It was the one. They had something, it was like something kind of, they called it like one drop, like one drop of non-white blood makes you non-white.

But I'm picturing that she was like this African slave, but she was three quarters white. Oh, anyway, just a little, yeah, I think. Why'd you know that? For some reason, I fell down the Wikipedia link rabbit hole. So she's there too. I'm getting into these debates. Maybe so. I'm out of. No, she wasn't. She wasn't a field. She was in the house and all the spellings, right? The spellings of Sean's name. Yeah. Why haven't

they just decided in either in Cyclow, Sean or Sean, a pdf? That's who he is. It's who he is. Sean, a pdf. Yeah. I mean, he's something about every fucking thing. He's so amazing. He really is. He shocks. One more. I had a DNA test and found out I'm part of Pachi. Really?

Which part? Woo-hoo! Woo-hoo! Woo-hoo! Ha-ha-ha-ha! How much of Pachi? As Sousul. Very little.

In fact, I don't even, they didn't In fact, I'm even they didn't even enough enough claim heritage. Well, that's what I want. I want to get to the nearest casino and say, pay me. But it was just a tiny smidge and they did. I say Apache because that sounds just sexy. I don't get those tests. Regular native.

You know, something my wife gave it to me. It's a Christmas present. Oh, okay. Yeah. Some Christmas present. I was all kidding. Yeah, right. Wasn't that sexy? Spittin' his tube and mail it in

Maybe maybe two more Jake Bobo Prestige will a lot your podcast last week. I've been thinking about something that makes me a rage and it's Fucking people that try to tell you how to train your pet You know these assholes. Yes, maybe. You were with your pet somewhere in a dog park, pet park, just walk around somewhere. And it does something you don't want. You correct it. You got five people around you. Now,

I'm telling you, oh, this is how you should dish your dog. Oh, this is what you should do to start your dog from doing that. And have fun with your friends or your loved ones. You're like, bitch, I've seen your dog at home. no one does it, sit on the couch and piss you off on. Don't try to tell me how the fucking train might all of you can't train your dog. Sounds like a good experience so far. I think people in the world, I'm sure they're doing it, and they actually don't know it, about what they're doing. And it's just been very interesting that people want to get this unsolicited advice, it's

also a real fucking problem in our society now. They're out of fixed things based on just need to reaction The scenes from the pretend fucking seconds You got to be on guard for that. I'll train my own dog you train yourself to keep the fucking mouth shut You gotta be ready to fight at any moment someone correcting you or giving you advice like a viper Yeah, snap back at them. Oh, yeah, this is what's wrong with you. Don't you ever tell me that again. Tell me to train my dog.

You need some training. It's good. You know how people to stop that, keep it inside. Everyone will explode. Yeah. All right, that's good. Wanna talk about Thomas Jefferson some more. Let's, Tommy, baby.

We have these rights. We have these rights, We have these rights. But it won't see if she was really smart, she would have said, we can only do it in 35 years. We're just gonna be just fucking around sending tweets and Instagram shit. Nobody's gonna care about this anymore. So, where the fuck are you?

Why are you bothering this crap? Let's go have dinner. Really? Probably what happened. He's like, okay, due to a well-regulated militia, right to bear arms, shall not be in friends. I gotta fucking go fuck. I'm trying to write this Constitution. I'm trying to write this Bill Riggis. Come to believe me the fuck alone. God damn it. It's due today. The Continental Congress is tomorrow procrastinated. Fucking stop. Fucking stop. I got banging so many chicken you. The quarter slave. I'm a busy man. I still gotta run a whole tobacco plantation, try to shape the whole fucking world,

just leave me the fuck alone. Be great, great, I got one sentence, one sentence on it, cause it you. I hope depot guy put the wrong door on my fucking elevator. I spent three hours looking for a black pen to write this constitution, cause you got pinks and greens all over the place. Great, now it's ruined.

Now the whole thing's worthless. Cause I couldn't write longer than a sentence. Yeah. All right, distractions. See you next Tuesday.