The Dick Show - Episode 65 - Dick on Back to School

Episode Date: August 29, 2017

Hurricane Hindsight and the party of the century, Back to School and the orgy of the matriarchy, using the F-bomb on TV, Mr. Fancypants in studio, the Super Nintendo f'ed in the a machine, the Black Experience, Gab's ICO and Andrew Torba calls in, seppuku for IT blunders, sacrificing virgins, PSA for moms: the triple parentheses, the secret of the meme factory, a monster truck rally, terrible wedding gifts, the fake boob blathering drunk stare, an erotic story resolution, The LA Live Show, the causes of the Civil War, and a completely new way to pee incorrectly; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!

Did we wake you from here slumber? Jesus Christ get in here. 11! You didn't know there was a whole show happening? Like always? Like there's always every time a show happening? You fucking asshole. We run a tight ship around here 11 it starts at 11 I can't believe it I can't believe it. Yeah!

Yeah! Welcome to Dig! You need dig, you want dig, you love dig, it's the show where everything is a contest coming to you live from a concrete mountain bunker in the city of failure, deep in the city of failure, I'm your host, Dick Masterson. With me is always a Sean, audio engineer.

Hello, Dick. Hey, what's up buddy, joining us today, my life coach. Hey, yeah. Thank you. Thank you for being here. Right on that, Mike, when you're just a person like he's been here the whole time. Like no one's been waiting. My dad used to have a saying and he's he said it over and over and fucking over my entire childhood. I'm gonna go upstairs and fuck your mother. Yeah, and it's never been so apropos. It is right now. No, it's, he would say,

it's like a never trust like man. No, no, yeah. He meant he said that too. But whenever he said white man, he would hold up his hands making parentheses in the air. Not quotation. No, parentheses is code for Jewish. Really? Oh, you didn't know that? No.

Okay, I think I'm going to be doing a lot of grandmothers in a service and moms. Excuse me, a lot of moms because now when I say grandmother, I'm actually speaking about mom, right? Because I should have kids at this age. mom, right? Because I should have kids at this age. If your kids are tricking you into using parentheses in what you're talking about, they're tricking you into making an anti-Semitic slur. That's what that means. Putting three parentheses is a way to symbolize that. Three parentheses? Yeah. And what does a parentheses, where did that come from?

Oh, I assume it came from 4chan or pole. Okay. Because they would just, they would just name, you know, they put people's names and then put parentheses, you know, got it, got it, or put anything. Yeah. But then it got, it's just that they're just, they're so, it's a, it's so funny there. Everything that they come up with is so fucking funny. 4chan. Yeah. It sticks because if something is slightly not funny, the anonymity of it makes it so there could be no way for it to cram through something funny just because you're Jimmy Fallon. You know, it's undefeatable. The funniness of the memes that comes out of there is undefeatable for it's undefeatable

for that reason. Because then you go on the other side or or anywhere else, and people are making stuff, but they got their name attached to it. So everybody wants to just pucker up and suck their asshole. You know, like, oh, that's the funniest, that's the most hilarious thing of it. It's not funny. It's not funny at all.

But the ant in it, anyway, getting off track, you distracted me from you being late. Yeah, this is too intense. I should come earlier and just so I can settle in. My dad used to say, it's like a nickel waiting on a dime waiting on a nickel or a quarter. And then you would, Yeah, he would say it's a quarter waiting on a penny

and then he would keep coming up with conversations while I was trying to tie my shoes. He would just stand there and go, nah, Penny is turning into a peso. It's a dollar waiting on a peso. And he would just stand there. Don't worry about the drawings of penises that we have on his table. The disturbingly, don't worry about it.

I hate that drawing. I hate it so much. So fucking disturbing. Mr. Fancy pants is in the studio here today too, but he's not gonna, he's not gonna talk. You don't think I'll wait, I'll wait on something. He's waiting on this. Maybe we should open your mic.

I knew there was gonna be trouble today. I knew you were gonna be here. You know on time, you know when we record at 11. 11-ish? Yeah, I knew there was, I knew there was, yeah. Give or take. 11, like knew there was I knew there was yeah Give or take 11 like I told my wife give or take 12 beers give or take you ever take 12 minutes Give or take yeah, I knew there would be I knew there would be trouble when I left and you were in

And the planet said not That was not I balls I balls pointing around like a bad boob job That was not that far. Eyeballs pointing around like a bad boob job. Like, all right, sir. You've budgeted beers for one fight, and you had to watch four because you didn't understand how boxing was scheduled. And here we are. So I guess I hope I see you tomorrow

because we've got a big show tomorrow. What? The founder of GAB is calling in today. Oh, okay. And you're Torba. So you better get your serious pants on today. Today. Okay.

Yeah, in an hour. What about tomorrow? That's why these schedule's not tomorrow. Today. Okay. That's why these schedules are. You're not the only one who is confused by that. Okay.

You made it to my dance show tomorrow. Today. Today, did I? Yeah. Well, we do have a, we do have an upcoming show that I'm going to call the City of Failure. The live show, taking place in Los Angeles at the satellite. I think I talked about it.

I either talked about it last week or on the bonus episode. Last week, I think. I'm going to put tickets up next week. Patreon's first. They're going to be more expensive than the last one, because I think I lost about four grand in the truck at Darryl.

Well, you broke even. Nice. I said that at the time, but then I went back through and added in all the numbers. I crunched the numbers, Sean. I did so. A lot of parentheses. I remember this either.

And it turned out it was a huge loss for me, just so you know. It's in case you get any ideas. Yeah. But so, yeah, it'll be a little bit more, just in case you get any ideas. But, so, yeah, it'll be a little bit more, but it's not gonna be crazy. It's gonna be a good show. Yeah, we're gonna have a live tattooing. Is that right? Yeah, this dude's getting a fucking dick show logo tattooed

on his neck. Oh. Yeah. How about that shit? I think Go Diego is gonna call in and tell us how it's gonna go, too. Oh cool. I wanna try to get that guy to call in. Diego, you remember that guy?

I've talked to him a couple times, yeah. Oh, you have? Yeah, just like email. Oh, about what? Drums and LA and stuff like that. I've always thought, like every once in a while, I just get this feeling like that Sean has his own, well, you know that feeling you get sometimes

where you break out of your own self and you like imagine this whole, someone else is living this whole life and then tandem with yours. And they're doing silly, like they're going to the store too. They're waking up, they're trying to figure out if they have enough time to jerk off before the show. They're answering emails about the show every once in a while.

I get that feeling. Was you know that feeling? You'd be sorely disappointed. You know, do you ever get that feeling that I'm talking about? That there were other people on the planet besides me. Yeah.

Is it weird that I only have that feeling like some of the other ones? Like every once in a while, yeah. Yeah. Is that not how people always think. I think everyone has that moment. This turns from a speech into a inquisition. It's turned into addressing my peers into,

uh-oh, I think I said, I think I'm the weirdo. This is like Patrick Bateman's joke. Yeah, he put their head on a stick and then he starts laughing and everyone's like, what the fuck are you, what's wrong with you? At moment, gotta be word for that moment, Sean. All right, okay. Do you have something that makes you rage today, coach?

I don't want you to say it yet, but I think I do actually. Oh, spicy, how about you, Sean? Yeah, sure. Okay. I got something that makes me rage too. It's, it's, you know, there's a big hurricane happening right now. You know that?

That is dating. Storm of a lifetime. I thought it was downgraded to a tropical storm. I don't know. It's been getting upgraded. Upgraded. Oh, okay. It's been getting upgraded.

Sean must be all the face news. It's getting, yeah. You got to get off Breitbart. Yeah. Yeah. It's the, the people that make me a rage are the hurricane. The guys who get on the internet and shit on the people who did not evacuate. The hurricane hindsight people. Look at this coach is showing me it.

It's crazy. Just absolutely flooded. Yeah. The guys who get on say, oh, oh, those people that stayed behind, they're, they're so stupid, that's the dumbest, that's everyone said it was gonna be bad. They're so stupid for saying, listen, I just wanna have a moment of respect for those people. Those people are the, those people who stay behind because I know I would do it. Yeah, I know I would 100% do it

and every time I see anybody shitting on those people online, I feel like they're shitting on me. Yeah, they're like, oh, that's the dumbest, that's the dumbest thing I've ever seen. So someone wouldn't leave during a hurricane that they deserve it. Just look at them. Look at them on their roofs. Look at their, look at their shit off loading away. Assholes. Good, good, good. I'm glad God smoked them for being so stupid. I'm not stupid at all. So you reminded me a couple of years ago,

you know, we have these fires all the time around here. California. Yeah. Especially every several years, the whole state burns. Yeah. So there's this guy, they did an interview with this guy who has built a fireman. It's a fireman. Built this house.

Everyone's in that room. Yeah. Like a silver dome. He's like built a fireproof house. It's like it's like the the the metallic blankets that they pull over themselves. So he's made his house basically impervious to the fire to fire. And and and we're still paying for everyone else's houses they can burn down and there's this we can make dome houses that don't light on fire. It's good point and they look they look like tits too. Yeah, that's two, that's two in. Yeah, they get like positive.

They get like 800 degrees Fahrenheit internally too. They'll look accurate too, because you got your big house. He comes out perfectly boiled. You got your big house and then you got your garage is the dome right next to it. And the one boob is always bigger. Yeah, it will all, it'll look like just a series of tits all over California.

That one might have, actually, this might be might be my even better rage than I had before is the. People getting subsidies basically all these insurance is like flood insurance and fire insurance. Yeah, it's just subsidizing rich people's. Placial houses in fancy little bunker town. Yeah, that's how I feel about global warming to when they they're like, oh, the coasts are gonna flood. Like, so, it build new buildings. So we'll just, when global warming hits, everyone will just get in a little boat

or put on a life preserver in a plane and just float to where the new shore is. Who cares? Then we'll build the new, like, who cares if New York floods? We'll just build another one. How long did it take to build this one? Like 10 years, couple years. Like a slap?

Yeah, it's more jobs. It's the broken window fallacy all over again. Listen, I wouldn't leave during a fire. I wouldn't leave during. Here's the thing. If it was serious, because all the politicians, they got to cover their ass, right? They get on TV.

Oh, you got to write your name on your arm. It's like they're all turned into like a WWF wrestler whenever a hurricane comes to town. Oh, it's gonna be, so God will rise, God's gonna rise up and smite us with this hurricane. It's gonna be so bad you're gonna write your social security number on your arm. That's how dead you're gonna be. You's gonna be so bad you're gonna write your social security number on your arm. That's how dead you're gonna be.

You're gonna be so dead. You're gonna be, why don't you go ahead, why don't you go to go to CVS and buy a body bag? That's how stupid you are. But if I will believe them, if one of them ever dropped an F-bomb on television, telling me that the storm was going to be bad. Yeah. Or that the fire was going to be bad. Because then I know they're serious. All right.

They're asking me to leave, to pack all my shit together and basically to go through all the work of taking a vacation, but not taking a vacation to anywhere. Just loading up all my shit and my dogs, I guess, and my kids, and going through my house and doing that mental calculus of what's important and what's not, I guess I could throw these heirlooms away, but so why do I have them? Why do I have them anyway? Oh man, with heirlooms?

Yeah, like, no, not to make those you shit wit. Like, watches that your dad had up his ass for five years heirlooms? No, Sean, not tomatoes, you shit wit. Like watches that your dad had up his ass for five years heirlooms. Yeah. Do you have any family heirlooms? No. Me either. No, I don't think so.

I wish we did. Yeah. I'm gonna start some. I'm gonna give it to, I'm gonna start some family heirlooms and just make up a story. Yeah. I don't think you need to make up a story for that heirloom up there.

Which heirloom are you talking about? Coach, Dr. Phil's head exploding. Oh, the drawing that Wes Morris did of me and Dr. Phil's head. Yeah, that's a, you're gonna leave that. No, I wanna make up one from like way back. Like hundreds of, you know what he did? My sister got married. I didn't wanna get her a good wedding present.

Yeah, she's got too much stuff already. Well, the rest of her life is a gift. Yeah, I mean, at that point. Yeah, exactly. Series of gifts. Yeah. So I was like, oh, okay, I'm gonna get them. I'm gonna get my sister and husband

a wedding present that's totally fucked. I went over to Racita. It's like a shitty part of the valley in Southern California. Yeah, the West Valley. Yeah, and I went to this cement shop and found a four foot tall gargoyle. Wait a minute. I went there with you. You did?

Yeah. Oh, you can speak to the veracity of this claim, then. I wanted the biggest, dumbest, like ugly, like most imposing, they live in the suburbs. You know, at the time they lived in like a two bedroom house on probably an eighth of an acre, small, like, you know, I didn't care. It's not my, it's not their problem.

That's their problem. Once they, once they get the gift, it's no longer my problem. It's like getting somebody a puppy, like, I have fuck you, getting someone's kid a puppy for their birthday. That's gonna be my move. If you ever invite me to your kid's birthday party, I'm bringing two puppies. I'm bringing one for your kid,

and then I'm gonna give one of your friends kids a puppy. Like a late-door prize? Yes, I'm gonna give, I'm just gonna be the puppy man. And the kids are gonna, because what are you gonna do, take it back. No, that's what you get for inviting me to your your child's birthday party unless there is a single mom there that I can hit on. That's, that's what you get. Puppies. Is free booze good enough? No, no, it's not, it's not good enough because the last time I got free booze at a birthday party I put on a magic show for the kids and I made all of them cry because I told them I was gonna cut their mom in half

Mm-hmm, and I was doing it very aggressively They're weird about kids are weird about getting there. He's too funny turn his mic on all right We do that. Yeah, take him to his mom's turn his mic on all right. What did you say right before? Oh, I said kids love when you talk about cutting their mom and half. Yeah. They don't enjoy that. They don't and they cry really easily. That's what I'm learning with children is that they cry.

They cry very easily. Sure. And it's always fake. Fake cry. But that doesn't matter. Even if you threaten to kill their mom a little, they cry. They still cry. Yeah.

Yeah. Do they cry less? Oh, man. That was so embarrassing. It was a really good magic show until that fourth beer kicked in. Yeah. And like grabbed, grabbed my, I had a beautiful winged

Pegasus of a magic show. And then that fourth beer came out like Yosemite Sam and just last so my magic show and linked it to the ground. Were you making beers disappear? Yeah, it was my fourth. That was my fourth. I was trying to, I was keeping it even until the magic show and make it to the ground. Were you making beers disappear? Yeah, it was my fourth, that was my fourth. I was trying to, I was keeping it even until the magic show started because I knew I had to do it.

And I was really, I was excited for it because it's a children. Like they're gonna, it's the greatest, they think it's real fucking magic. Adults are so goddamn cynical. Try to do anything for them. And they're like, ah, I like, I get that, let me, I want it,

not only do I want it to fail, I want you to be embarrassed for having tried to entertain me. Next. Hmm, look at Aion right in front of you. I know. Right, we're trying to be on a table. Yeah, you're not tired, he's just boring as shit.

I actually zone doubt for all of them. Oh shit. The people who stay behind during her case are heroes. Are heroes. That was the point. Or whatever. Stay behind during whatever. The rest, everyone else is a sheep.

Leave, leave because it's all gonna get flooded. Yeah. I float, dude. No problem. You will one way or another. No problems there. Or at the very least you get to hang out in a football stadium. Yeah Hop on hop on this train and go to this FEMA death camp. Yeah, same thing sheep sheep fancy pants What does Alex Jones have to see about this about the hurricane? Yeah, probably it's like a weather machine. I want his take

I want the world is round if you say so Whatever whatever you want me to do. Whatever you want me to do. I'll do. That's people who leave during a hurricane Did after our conversation last night are you still? What what what what you have to preface it? We had do you want it? Do you want to get into that? No? But then don't know I just want to know. I just want to know. Don't bring up stuff you don't want to get into you fucking asshole. There's 50,000 people listening and you say, Hey, about that thing last night, what do you think? That's not, that's not a normal thing to do. Nobody knows what the fuck you're talking about. You want to talk about those 50,000 is going to ask a question. Yeah. I don't know what the fuck

he's talking about. You want to talk about flat earthers? Is that you wanna fucking talk about? No, we just wanna know how you ended up last night. Did you still think the earth is around? I think that the flat earthers are doing a better job explaining their point of view than the people who are so easily triggered by it that they just start spurging out and talking about NASA.

No, that's good. I'm on there, so I'm on, you know what? I'm just, I'm on the side of bad guys all the time. No, you are. I really am. Yeah, you're a decepticon, whether you want to admit it or not. I fucking am.

Yeah. You called yourself a, a contrarian malcontent. Yes. I think that's the most perfect description for two words. That's the best description you could have with this. You know what? Because at least bad guys you could have with this. You know what?

Because at least bad guys believe in something. You know? You know? So you're saying flat earthers are bad guys. Yeah. That's unfortunate. You think flat earthers are. If they look, if there's any legitimate flat earthers

listening to the show, please call it. Sure. I'm 100% in support of you. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And it's because, no, here's why, because people who are so nuts about the earth being a sphere can't argue it for shit, which is way more embarrassing than people who don't know

and who are operating at a fifth grade education level, basically just kind of not understanding and not getting their questions met. Like they say, yeah, they're at this flat. And the rounder of people just go, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, like start screaming at them, like, well, why are you so fucking responsible?

Why are you so upset? And secondly, do you want to give them the time of day as there would be my answer? They're probably upset because Elon Musk told them the globe was round. Yeah. And they're like, don't talk about my savior like that. Yeah.

Look, Stabies land. She's like, stay behind. You don't know what's gonna happen during a hurricane. If you do leave and everyone's having a great time, that is a once in a, it might be a once in a lifetime storm, might,

but it also might be a once in a lifetime party. Yeah. In New Orleans, like I heard Fats Domino was on his roof with a piano. Just entertaining everyone, yeah. Is that true? No, absolutely not. God damn it, could be true though. It could be true.

Maybe he was in a boat. Yeah, floating around with a piano. Maybe a brand new Silverado floats by and the hurricane happens to blow the vinaugh. That's a big score. That's a big score. You risk your life going to work every day. You gradually chisel away. You gradually clip away at your mortal coil. Oh God.

So why not just risk a little more and grab a free truck out of it? I don't even have a coil in the middle. I have a little piece of spring left. That's the very end. You've been saying that work as long as I've known you. Okay, what else makes me a rage here? I got some reasons why people don't leave during a hurricane parties, possible parties.

Oh yeah, fear of your home getting damaged or looted. Yeah. Yeah, that's sensible. Yeah. Yeah, the looted part, sure, of course that happens when people who don't leave due to disabilities because they can't leave. So, so if you're making fun of people who are not leaving, you're pretty much making fun of handicap people. That's on you. That's on you. Mentally handicap. Yeah, that's on you. That's on you. Mentally anti-cap. That's on you.

Could be people who didn't hear the warning because they're so poor, Tron. Yeah. So think about that, but secretly it's just guys like me who think they could, who are you? God, you're not gonna tell me what to do. Right. I live here.

This is my house. Oh, anyway. What also makes me raise this week back to school. Is it still back to school time? I have lost track of when school actually starts now because they're all over the place now. Yeah. I think what do you mean, you mean they always have to do a day now. There was a lot of school started at different times now. It's like last week, I think most of the school started. And some are year round. Yeah. It's back to school time, though.

Yes. Yeah, it's about that time. You know, it's the fucking worst about back to school time, because everybody knows I fucking hate school. Yeah. Every single second of it was towards you. I was going to say the increase in commute times when you're going somewhere,

but you don't work outside of a barbed wire. You could stop at work. So, yeah. Okay, fair enough. Yeah, it's the commercials and the ads with the moms who are so fucking excited about going back to school. Well, it's time for some back to school shopping

and there, these moms are practically coming their brains out while they're going around target, picking up school clothes and school supplies. But that's accurate. Yeah, that is accurate. No, no, no, no, that's why it makes me so crazy. Because that's, because I just, it takes me instantly back to being a little kid

and having like a crisis of running through the first day of school. Your mom doesn't want you home. Oh, and that she's so, and there's this army, this entire matriarchy that's so fucking thrilled that I'm going back to school. Cause it's all direct, it's all basically directed at me. Yes. Right?

I don't care, even as a kid and still, I don't care what the social ramifications of school is. It's waking up that first day at 7 a.m. feeling like death. Feeling like I have never felt as bad as hungover as I've ever been in my life. I have never felt as bad. It's worse feeling in the world. Because you know when the alarm goes off, you do the deal of, well, I could get 10 more minutes, like Oliver Twist scraping fucking turnip water off the bottom as well. I could

get just this little, these little tiny teeny bits of morsels more sleep. That could be good. What? And then I have to go lay in the shower to get this day started and I'm thinking, I just wanna die because I can see an eternity of this stretching in front of me. Having to feel, I could kill my parents. That could get me out of school. But they'll give me new parents.

Yeah. The worst ones. The probably will be worse, probably. And then you get a government issue. Government issued parents. I don't want that. I could burn the school down. No, they'll build another one.

They have unlimited money. And they'll probably send us to another, they'll probably have to wake up even more early to go to the new one. This is the bargaining that you do as a kid. Meanwhile, you do one does this. Everyone does this. Everyone does, and are there people just,

are there kids just waking up and just, and throwing fucking parties that it's time for school, that it's time to go sit there for the first week of school, where you do absolutely nothing, but watch, watch your teacher unwind from her summer break. Ha ha ha ha ha. A week long hangover. Yeah, where you watch your teacher recover from a week long,

where here's a syllabus, go ahead and study that for 10 minutes. I'm gonna put a damp wash cloth on my eyes and just relax. Here's, because we're not doing shit here anyway. Here's a bunch of fucking forms for you. By the way, Sean, your brother gave me a hell of a dick tip in high school. Yeah. Uh, yes. He filled out his, his form in high school where you have to like take it home

and have your parents sign it. Yeah. That you're like, that you're in school. Right. He signed it himself. So the signature matches the whole rest of the year. So that whenever he would write himself notes and they would compare, go, that's a perfect match. I guess your mom did want you Andy do free and with the money on that. Yeah. I guess your mom really did want you to see the season from here of Dark Wing Duck today. You're a school today.

Then you talk to you about simple stuff like stealing too. Yeah, and pouring Mountain Dews. So you have to understand that at the point when he did that, it was because we no longer had parents. Oh, yeah. That was the reason. What do you mean? Well, because I think we were living with my dad at the time.

He's a cool guy. So there was no, yeah, but he was not there. I was gonna say. So it was like, oh, yeah, no, of course he's gonna ride his own notes. Like that came out of like, hey, and also as a byproduct, it'll, I can get myself out of anything. Yeah, you guys are a real experiment, libertarian parenting. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Fairing so small, you can barely see it. You got, you're the only guys I knew that knew how to do laundry. Yeah, you're the only men that know that, you're only 15 year old boys that knew how to do laundry. Yeah. You were basically living alone at that point, where yeah, me, yeah. Oh, yeah, pretty much.

What a life. Yeah. There were fun times. I won't lie. Yeah, do do do do do do do do do do do. Yeah. Double Dooling, Dooling Tom Cruise's. Oh, yeah.

That's what he's doing. I was like, right, yeah. Our other friend didn't know how to do laundry at all. No, I know I think I've told That's okay. Yeah. Um, you could fake being sick. You should listen to the show. I should. It's a good. Some people think you should. I don't care. It depends how on a scale of one to extreme at Cucked. How Cucked are you? I'm not sure what the question is here at the binary scale. The answer is extremely complicated. Extremely complicated. That's the answer.

You can fake being sick, but that only gets you out of one day. And then you show up at your first day of class, hoping that you have the one hot teacher at school, you never do. You never do, but you see her walking around all day and think, oh boy, if only I would have had that one, if only I would have had that one pleasant thing about school, that one, what word am I thinking of? It's a religious word, I don't know. The one nice, they could have made this one nice thing

I could just sit in class and look at this hot bitch, riding on the blackboard all day and there's guards no not for me that's for other people Sean that's for other people get you get used to it any hot girls in class now kind of yeah not really they don't look they don't look you know four years older like they do on the movies what is what's even the point of this why do I why do I do I even have this drive? Why do I even want hot girls in my class? I don't know yet It's just a thing that I'm stuck with the shitty feeling that I'm stuck with Busy work first day of school meanwhile the entire meanwhile every woman in the free world is

Celebrating like it's Marty Grah like it's Marty Graf, like it's Marty Graf or Mils, and it still makes me a rage to this day, seeing back to school sales. There you go. I got more stuff too. The super nice classic came out. Do you know what that is? You know what that is? The little one?

Yeah, the little one. Yeah. Well, that's what that one should have, the super nice classic. You know what they're fucking, they're, you just re-buy the same one. Yeah, the little one. Yeah. Well, that's what that one should have. The super nice classic. You know, they're fucking there. You just re by the same games over and over again. Do you know what the super nice classic is? Well, is it super Nintendo? Yeah, but it's just this done little box in a repackaged format. Yeah, the games are already on it. It's like games are already games or something. It's like an emulator. Yeah. so, but it's like a million bucks. Yeah, and it's sold out. They did it with the nest that did it with every, it's every fucking time, every year.

Now, we just they're repackaging the same goddamn games over and over. And it's not that they do it. It's that it's also sold out. So you want it, and then you just have to sit on your want for it. For as long as they want, Sean. None for you, you just gotta sit on the feeling of being excited to get it and just feel it taper off. That check in every once in a while, like a chick that you were into

and you missed your chance to get with and you just pop on to her Facebook every once and a while. Nope, still dating that dude. Nope, still dating that dude. Nope, still dating that dude. That's the superness classic. Except you'll be able to get one of those superness classics, NES classics that I garage sale in five years.

Of course, then there'll be something different. It'll be a superness app. There'll also be sold out. All right, Coach, what makes you rage? I got questions for you too, by the way. I forgot. I was driving here and I thought, oh, this will be a good rage, but then I forgot.

Okay, Sean, I'm going to do a rage. Um, how are you serious? Yeah, you take care. Really? You honestly forgot. I forgot. Okay. I'll remember, I remember.

Could you rage about that? Remember your probably know. People in their car who roll their windows down instead of use the AC. Yeah. Why? I just thought of it and I just fucking hate it. I'm one of those people. I hate that. I hate that. It's, it just blows shit all over the place. It fucking pounds your ears. Yeah, it all affects with your ears. It just fucks with your hair. It fucks with everything. It's like swirling around.

You can't, you're yelling, you're yelling trying to talk to you then. They got the radio up, fucking. Just turn the fucking AC. If you, if you do not, if you are doing that like to save gas or something, you're too far to drive, stop it. Yeah, stop it.

You're too people to do that. Yeah, we get it. They use this more. Yeah, no, you're so fucking indian environment. You're so fucking indian environment. You're so fucking indian environment. You're so fucking indian environment. You're so fucking indian environment.

You're so fucking indian environment. You're so fucking indian environment. You're so fucking indian environment. You're so fucking indian environment. You're so fucking indian environment. You're so fucking indian environment. You're so fucking indian environment. You're so fucking indian environment. feel like it makes me more manly, like I'm out in nature. Like you're out in nature? Yeah.

But driving around your diesel. Yeah. I feel like it's like, you know. That's it. I just thought of that. It's the wind hitting my skin like a sailor. Yeah. Like the Titanic.

I mean, I ocean spray, is that what you do? Yeah. Why do you do it? I used to do it because the air conditioning in my Lexus smelled like ass, smelled like moldy bread. All right. Because it's just because I'm hot all the time and it's like if the wave, you're getting the, for cool, it doesn't cool you off enough.

Like just use a fucking AC, but I get the stench. I get the stench. I get the stench. Yeah, so it trained me to do it But yeah, but sent oh by the way, so this was the My space pod finally got it found its end. Yeah You know, I got a new I got a truck like last month. Yeah, I traded the space pod in for it the old Lexus The droop forever, which is a nice it's a nice brand name, but

The thing squeaked like a hamster orgy driving down the street because it was all shot to hell. I traded it in thinking up, I guess I'll always just, always wonder where this guy's gonna go, like turning a wild animal loose, like Harry and the Henderson's. Get out of here, Harry. Go live your

Sasquatch life, but with my car. Never will know what happened to it, right? I got a, I got an impound slip from, from the El Monte Police Department. I think the dealership must have fucked up and not switched the owner on the car or the title or something like that. Yeah, which is a big fuck up because it's still my car then, right? Yeah, you're supposed to file something. I did. Yeah, good. So it's the cops fuck up. The worst, the worst people who could fuck up because they didn't fuck up. All right, well, I did everything right.

Yeah, too bad. We didn't fuck up still. So over a, um, do you why arrest? So over a, um, DUI arrest. Checkboxes at the bottom, wrecked. Check, yes or no? Yes. Oh. Oh, sure. So somebody killed the party.

Somebody got in my space pod. They bought it at, who knows, at auction, and used Carlotta something, got blitzed. Within a month, just for the clinic. The, the Carmator NATO of DUIs that was attached to that car caught up with it and rained down in like a line of hurricane. And then this person stayed at home.

Yeah, an 80 proof hurricane hit that car. That's a big missed opportunity for you. You could have just ran that into a ditch. No, I'll take the money. Oh yeah, I guess that's true. Yeah, there you go. Good. You probably didn't think that's true. Yeah, there you go. Good You probably think that I didn't think that far

Okay, so I used to I used to do that too, but it was just because of the awful mildew stench that came out of that car Yeah, which was a design feature they said it wasn't it they never recalled it in like the the airpans sat in a in a pool Yeah, if you ran the AC. They would instantly make it. Mill do or mold or whatever. Yeah, get all fusty. Yeah. Oh. Do you remember what makes your age? No, good job.

Thank you. Fancy pants. You got anything that makes your age? Probably nothing new. I mean, there's a ton of stuff that. Well, what's one? Traffic's probably my- No, not traffic.

What else do you got? Yeah, I told you. Then I said, what else do you got? you got. Uh. Yeah, I told you. Then I said, uh, what else you got? Mean people. Is it how white you are? That makes you a man. That makes me very upset.

He's half Mexican. He's white as Snoopy. I'm only a quarter. Oh, you're only a quarter? You're a quarter. Oh, you can get the fuck out of here. I know. I can't be making any jokes then.

No, that does legitimately piss me off. It's been, you know, since high school, big running joke. Why does dude on the planet? You are. Why does guy on the planet? Yeah, but on a college application or something. Oh, I put his panic.

Right. No, as I'm stupid. Yeah. Yeah, let me see. I got Rob John sent in a stereo's calling in. Call in from a stereo. You want to hear that? Is it?

Yeah, he did a bit of it. Is it intelligible? I don't know. Let's see. He just said, here's an example of an a stereo's calling. Oh, okay. Here we go. Hey, it's me, a stereo's.

I've never seen a poly. I just wanted to know before I was met on the Monster Truck Rout. There's a monster truck rally? It's about right. Yeah. That's four, five, four, five, four, five. Yeah. I'm running out of time, so I'll check back to the way. Just be sure to check out the beach. You can't not come.

Slash of steering. I'm going to the side side. You're going to the way. So I'm going to the side. I'm going to the south destruction. So, I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry, I'm too aggressive to do that. Self-destruction to hand. Chocolate. Chocolate.

Thank you. Okay, Trion, came through. Chris, come here. Oh, that's fucking perfect. Oh, that's funny. Good job. Good job. Good job.

It's the look of you, that was Rob John. It's the fucking I'm safe thing on Facebook that also makes me a rage. It's like, Facebook has created an amber alert for ourselves. Oh, make sure if you're wondering, if you're wondering if your friends are anywhere in the same hemisphere that a disaster is going on, make sure to log into Facebook so they can check

the don't worry I'm safe. So I'm in, oh, I'm in fucking Dallas. I better go on, I'm 200 miles away from there. I'm in Phoenix, I'm in I'm in fucking Dallas. I better go on. I'm I'm 200 miles away from there I'm in Phoenix. I'm in Flagstaff, Arizona. Don't worry everybody. I'm safe. Thanks Facebook Thanks for thanks for making it easier for people to tell me how fucking safe they are People who wouldn't just call me people that I don't care enough about to text. Hey, are you okay? I'm so fucking glad that I know that they're safe. Thank you for feeding this delusion that we have,

that we have, that there is this, amount that there is this inexhaustible amount of care. We have for acquaintances. I fuck off. If I haven't talked to you in six months or six weeks, I don't care if you got swept away by a fucking hurricane, you could be in the land of Oz, and it doesn't matter to me.

I don't need a button for you to tell me that you're safe. That's just hurtful. We haven't talked in like, I don't know, like two months or something. I don't care. Fancy pants. If you got swept off to see, I'd be like, oh, actually, he was on a cruise, and he got taken by pirates.

He was in Somalia being a pilot. Like, oh, well, you know, that's my pan. I didn't talk to him in six weeks, so I don't care. Yeah. Got a button for that. So what did you think of the fight? I'm in Somalia with pirates. The McGregor.

Um, I was dissu-coach and I watched the fight last night. Yeah, I thought you guys would. I was disappointed that it went exactly how the fight last night. Yeah, I thought you guys would. I was disappointed that it went exactly how it should have gone and that there was no surprises at all. That was sad. I was surprised. Maybe where there was so aggressive.

I thought it was a pretty good fight. Yeah, that's what made me sad about it. Like, I don't watch. I don't want to see. You didn't like that I got enjoyment from it. I feel like the more I enjoyed it, the less you did. That's how that's perfectly in character. Yeah, I can't responsibly. I can't say that that's not true.

Contrary in male content. Yeah. There you go. But I also, I didn't like the three hours of post fight of commentators congratulating themselves for how, how it went exactly. Right, right, right. A lot of wood. I didn't like the, I don't like the continuing PR machine from UFC talking about how proud they are

and making excuses like, oh yeah, but that was his first fight. Who by the way, Connor McGregor now has a worse boxing record than a stereo's coconut. Yep. And wore the fanboys to be specific. Yeah, they're both have a point on. Oh, and one. Yeah, they're both, these two guys who fought from the show, they ended in a draw after two

rounds. A pow. I mean, well, I was weird. All of their balls fell off. Oh, okay. During the, that does something to draw. During the fight. They hit each other so weak weekly that their testicles just

Detached from their body and flew away that swept up in a hurricane in a vagina cane It's real wet Somebody talking to mom. Yeah, no, no, I don't know. What did you think about it? Yeah, that was good. He thought it was good But I was you know in a state where anything would have been great. I heard the UFC live stream went down too. That's fine. I heard that too. A bunch of money to the UFC.

You couldn't log in. You paid a hundred bucks to see the fight and these, this was like the UFC. This was their attempt to take their biggest earner and pimped them out to another sport to pull in audience and vice versa, right, for boxing. And they got it all the way to the end. And then they stumbled across the finish line. Bucking some, some, some collection of nerds said, boo. Yeah, we got it all. We got it all sorted out.

You guys got enough servers? Is there's gonna be, is the biggest event of, biggest fight of the century. Biggest fight of the century. You got enough servers? Yeah. Throw some more on there.

Don't need them. Okay. We gotta, you know, we got, we have to like, you know how the as techs would sacrifice virgins, just to send a message to all the virgins out there, hey, you got to, you guys better get on the stick if you know what I'm talking about. They say it was for

craps, but that's not what we're talking about. We got to do that with a tech person every year. We got to take a random tech guy who fucked up and chop his head off. Yeah, make an example. Say, all right, all of you tech guys, nothing else seems to motivate you. No. You have unlimited vacation days. You sit, you sit on a, you sit on a, in a luxury liner chair, you sit on the yacht of chairs all day and argue about politics online and pretend to be lawyers.

You were living every man's dream. Hey, but you're talking about. He's like, I'm writing you the whole time. But you can't keep the UFC site all the way down for some guys couldn't log in at all. It was, it was what the fix I heard was they just removed all log in all together. So like anyone could just go on there and But it still wasn't enough. I don't know. And then on their Twitter. They said, oh, if you can't log in here's and here's a list of alternative providers. Yeah, oops And it was like log into your time Warner

Wow, come on Twitch. Go on Twitch. That's like catastrophic panic. Yeah. Yeah, just like for everybody free. Uh, wow It's a catastrophic panic. Yeah. You're just like, everybody free. Wow. Or maybe like a sepaku. You know that Japanese kill themselves? Yeah, it's Aaron Schwartz, right?

The guy who killed himself. But what did he kill himself for? I thought he killed himself because he was being bullied by the government. Yeah, malicious prosecution. A lot of people say. No, no, I want, but he didn't fuck up, did he?

I don't think he did. I mean, he fucked up by killing himself. Yeah, I really could use that guy right now. We just need to find one. Like the most annoying, and there's gotta be like a board of most annoying tech support people. How about that guy, Cloudflare CEO?

He's at the top of my list right now. Yeah, and people love what he did Yeah, he got rid of Nazis I think it's interesting what he did Nazis right off the internet. Yeah, right? He got crushed the entire ideology. Yeah With one click of his mouse. Yeah, He just, he got rid of all fascism for all the history. Okay, let me get some questions for you, coach, before Andrew calls in. I also thought, I wish McGregor would have got knocked down. I wish he would have let him,

because right before the fight got called, his trainer was telling him to get his energy back that round. And he was gassed. Yeah, he was. But that was shocked him to get his energy back that round. And he was gassed. He was. But that I'm shocked that he lasted that long actually because he gases out in UFC like a third round. He was looking like a whip dog. Yeah. He was looking pretty bad. Mayway there looked like he just hopped out of an Uber looking for a fight. And it was a fight in a start. Man. Man, why did I have any hope at all? How fucking, how stupid am I really?

That I thought this was gonna go any other way. Well, at least I didn't put any money on it. Questions for coach. Ease Diesel says, why am I a cunt? Okay, probably no answer to that one. Ask him, Barnaby Jones, says, ask him how you can be less of a gross asshole. I think he's talking about me. Why is he so fucking out of here? Back close or no girls. Earl of Ask Withs, should I blow my money on optics or custom paint for

my AR? In other words, shoot better or look better while shooting. I think that, I mean, I'm. I'm a look better while shooting. Yeah, I'm the other one. Yeah, so I put some Swarsky crystals on that thing, tassels, tassels. Yeah, like the year you graduated. Yes, just hang the tassels.

Like the drivers. Mirror of your. Dick's Gunbag has all these special little like patches and stuff It's a Toki-Doki Gunbag I'm trying to Hello, buddy. I bought a Toki-Doki Duffle bag so I could cut it up and use the fabric to make my gun case out of it

That's how fancy it is What is it? What is it? High school kids putting their tassels in the rearview mirror No wonder ISIS hates this I ain't going on as long as I can remember. Yeah. Yeah. To prove they graduated.

I don't know. I don't know. Except now none of them drive. So. Yeah. Jake's. Is that true? Do high school kids not drive?

Mo, like it seems like later and later now, like they're not. Oh, they don't get licenses. No, she's going to be never. Yeah. Uber soon the, um they're not, they don't get licenses. No, shouldn't. It's gonna be never. Yeah, Uber. Soon, the, it'll be illegal to have a license. Yeah, those traveling shit shows where they come to your school and show a car that's all mangled

because a drunk driver was driving. Like, a text thing, we used to be drunk driving. Now it's texting and driving because all kids are too big of a pussies to drink under age. Now it's texting and yeah, now it's texting and driving because all kids are too big a pussy's to drink under age Now it's texting and yeah now it's texting and driving next in 20 years is gonna be just driving this kid was Driving and look what happened their car. So don't don't take keys even if you have a license They're not gonna be licenses don't you? Jacob Jacobus cap it says our traps gay I don't know that confuses me every time I hear that conversation This cap it says our traps gay. Our traps gay.

I don't know. That confuses me every time I hear that conversation. I'm a traps gay. I don't know. Comes up a lot. Yeah. They feel like people talking a lot more about that than their representation in society. Yeah.

Why are we talking about like one in a thousand people so much? But do you think it's gay though? Yeah, it's gay. I think so, but I feel like I'm gonna piss a whole segment of some weird population off out there. I don't know. I don't understand the question. I mean, it's not like, if I see like a piece of wood

that looks like a woman that has nice curves on it, I'll get turned on. And that doesn't make me want to fuck wood. But if I am fucking that wood, then I'm a wood fucker. I guess it's my point. So, right? I get your attract to do a woman, you can't help that.

It's like that guy that was fucking pumpkins. Yeah, you're a pumpkin fucker. Doesn't matter how hot the pumpkin, I lost you when you fucked the pumpkin. I was into putting two pumpkins on top of each other and saying, yeah, that pumpkin's got a nice ass. But then you stuck your dick in it, and I think, no, thank you.

What is your pumpkin, fucking? Yeah, of course. Hey, it was caught in a pumpkin back. It was Sean. Yeah, it was caught in a pumpkin patch. They call him the great, his pumpkin, Pimp name is the great pumpkin. Yeah, and he goes around slapped a horrible Charlie Brown special. Hmm. Great pumpkin, fucker. Hmm. Isn't it obvious? So it looks like a woman, not gay, fucking it gay. Yeah. What if you didn't know that it was a pumpkin. What do you mean you didn't know?

If there was like a tech trap, like we're talking like a pumpkin glory order. What if you, yeah, that's a scary situation. I bet you would know. You'd probably just in the back of your mind. What about the pheromones though? It's a guy's pheromones, isn't it? I don't know, man.

I don't know. Like your siblings release sexuality killing pheromones. Did you know that? No. Is this common knowledge? I did not know that. Yeah, yeah. So the reason that there's not like rampant incest is

because your family members release pheromones to turn you off. So if you're, as like if you're banging a trap, it's gonna be dude pheromones hitting you, right? I would guess so. I don't know, the pumpkin analogy made more sense. How would you fake your own confirms? Sam Glaze says, how would you fake your own death?

Huh, that's a good question. Would you, would you ever fake your own death? I'd kill myself. I'd kill myself and then leave a note saying that I faked it. You actually would do the reverse. Yeah, just to throw them off. You'd fake your own existence, your own life. You'd fake throw life.

Yeah. That's right. How would you do that though? You'd have to really get rid of your body though. Yeah. I could do that. How? You'd jump into a pig farm or something?

Get rid of the body? Oh, yeah. There are ways. Well, you're rid of a body. You want me to get rid of a body? Yeah. You, but your own body. They're ways. Well, you're rid of a body. You want me to get rid of a body? Yeah.

You, but your own body. That's tough. No, I got that. I feel like I might want to fake my own death one day. I don't want to get my best answer here. I'm like, I'm hedging my bets. Oh, God, give me a break. You're going to fake your own fucking, you don't know.

You couldn't do it at all. It would involve a lot of Bitcoin. Sure. Okay. They got lost. Chocobo says, is it bad to look at furry porn multiple times a day every day? I think he said four. I mean, you know, to find bad. I think it's probably not sexually healthy. I mean, I think probably. Probably.

I don't know, maybe sometimes you hear about stuff like, oh yeah, furries have way more kids than normal people with normal sexual lives. Like, what was that article I sent you about? Lesbian sex. Lesbian sex. You have more kids. Something like that.

You find things that completely unintuitive. So who knows? Maybe they got it all figured out sexually. Maybe they're, everyone's gonna be a furry in 100, 200 years. Oh, they're, yeah, man. They got, they got a lot of engineers. Yeah. A lot of doers on their side.

Yeah. Yeah. Yep. And all they care about is furry porn. Like, imagine all the things that you have to tend to on a daily basis. All your, like, maybe I'll check out some golf. Maybe I'll read a book about all the,

all it's furry porn, that's it. So once they get that out of the way, like this guy, they are ready to take over the world. Did you guys ever read the metamorphosis of Primantalect? What's that? No, that book. It's a, let's say I put a small short book,

and then I put it online. It just talks about singularity and a lot of it talks about fetishes in that scenario. So I imagine it's like, like vampires, right? You know, you live them for long enough, you're gonna end up start doing whatever. Weird stuff with werewolves and... Yeah. Because everything's boring.

And dudes, yeah, everything's boring. It's a good book though. I recommend anyone read it. You can read it online. Oh. How do women compete with that? Just porn on your phone. Yeah. Can't even escape it sometimes.

I hope my phone like, shit, I forgot to close this window. Guess I'm right back in. They got me again. It's the whole world like... You need a minute before the hand, like, shit, I forgot to close this window. Guess I'm right back in. They got me again. They got me like, you need a minute before the hand, anybody, your phone, right? Yeah, oh yeah. Okay, this is Andrew Torbum.

Hello, Andrew. Can you hear me? Yeah, can you hear me? Yeah. Dude, the founder of GAB. Nice. Yeah, congratulations on your millions of dollars. We raised 1 million and 70,000 so far. Yes. 1 million and 70,000 so for people who don't know,

GAB is a GAB is a Twitter competitor. Probably a little bit more than that, but mainly it started as a Twitter competitor. That's a that's built around free speech. competitor for that's a that's built around free speech. Started when a bunch of right-wing commentators were getting just banned blocked from Twitter. Is that right? I really started after Facebook, the whistleblower came forward on their trending topics team and said, yeah, we're actively suppressing conservative news topics and sources back in May of 2016. And you thought, and you thought what now's the time to like

this platform is going to kill itself by aggressively censoring its users or what? Right. So first of all, censorship never wins, just historically speaking, it never wins in a free marketplace of ideas, the best ideas will always win. And when those ideas start surpassing, I guess the establishment ideas, they're gonna try and censor and shut people up. So I knew that they were gonna continue down the path

because my last company was an ad tech startup and we were actually building on top of Facebook, Google, and Twitter's ad APIs. So I had a lot of connections inside the valley and people basically came to me and said, yeah, this is a problem and this is going to continue to happen. Like expect this to accelerate a lot more. And post-election, I knew that it was gonna accelerate even more so because, you know,

social media is what got Trump elected. So they and by they, I mean the Silicon Valley Sultan's, the Robert Barrens are not going to allow the populist movement to continue to thrive and grow, and they don't want to get him elected, and they don't want to candidate like him to ever happen ever again. So that's why you're seeing this crack town now.

And you know, a lot of conservatives, a lot of folks on the right love to whine and complain about media bias, but they never actually build anything or come up with any kind of solution. Yeah. I was like, true. Someone's going to do something. So I'm going to start building something and I guarantee you, it was just like one of those things where it's like if you build it they will come and they did because they have no world to go, right?

These people are being banned and shut up and censored and demonetized and no platformed and now entirely removed from the internet. So they have no world to go and somebody should stand up and defend free speech, individual liberty, classical liberalism, all these things that are in Japanese on the internet, the free and open web. You know, it's crazy that you say, you know, nobody actually steps up and makes an alternative. It's true. But then also, not only did you create it, but everybody trips over themselves to make fun of it, which is the weirdest thing to me to see people who they have no stake in the game. Like,

a Stereos was on here last night, this aggressively liberal comedian that comes on the show all the time. And like he's making fun of these conservative platforms or these whatever free speech platforms, it's like they have a stake in it failing. And I don't understand why they do that. Well, the thing is is that they've never actually built anything themselves. They've never actually built anything of real value and any sort of massive level of community or social movement. So they don't really understand that it's like, it's more than just the product, it's more than just the brand,

it's more than just the mission, it's the people behind it. And we have a lot of them, and it is growing. And we have some of the, by the way, the best poets, moon magicians, artists, tools on the entire internet, right? When you get those people in one place, and they start organizing, they start communicating, they start discussing and planning and strategizing.

Beautiful things happen, right? Beautiful things happen. And I think a lot of people want to see us fail because they want to see a world that is censored. They enjoy being stuck inside of the filter bubble, where big daddy, Facebook, and Google, and Zuckerberg tell you that everything is okay, and the world is at a hunky-dory, and there's nothing bad going on in the world, and don't worry, don't mind the man behind you and the curtain over here.

I think a lot of people like living in, I guess you could say, the matrix, right? They like living in the lie, and they don't want to see reality They don't want to know anything about reality And hate speech really has become I guess You know a crutch for these folks. Yeah, something to say. Well, this is this is evil You know, this is the most objective thing in the world right? Well, and you you got your apps you and you got your apps removed off of You got your apps and you got your apps removed off of

Of a Google play in iTunes for hate speech, right? Like it's I don't know how the fuck cuz every it's like everybody says Oh, you don't like like oh, it's America. It's a free market. You don't like it Why don't you just go make your own Twitter? All right mother fucker. This guy made his own Twitter He tried to put it out up in the store along with everything else and the store, which has been fundamentally engineered by harassment lawsuits that the government encourages. I see in Texas. Yeah, you are in Texas, aren't you? Do you take cover anymore?

No, you're not in Texas anymore. I'm not supposed to be in my location, you're not in touch with me. I'm not supposed to be in my location at the moment. Sean, shut the hell up. Like, the company, like Google and Apple, have been fundamentally warped by the idea of harassment and discrimination lawsuits, which the government directly does.

Like, the government directly allows. So you've got this, this like ecosystem that's built on, like, and has built itself, and has built itself and molded itself to this warped idea of overprotection for minorities and harassment and diversity. And those companies are now banning these free market alternatives. So it's like, that's the fucking government.

It's just the government, but with extra steps, you dumb mother, how do you not see how fucked this is? I don't know what you think about that. Well, here's the thing, people don't like how do you not see how far this is i don't know what you think about that well here's the thing people don't realize like just how much power control and data and information that these companies have and it's just so few of them too it's it's truly and oligopoly of no more than a handful companies that

own control and operate and do whatever the hell they want with both on the hardware and on the software side in terms of distribution in terms of exposure. You look at Apple and Google, they have 95% of not only hardware but also mobile software distribution. So if they both walk you out from both of their stores, how do you compete? How do you compete in a world where billions of people now have billions of mobile devices,

and that's how they're accessing the internet? This is clearly any competitive behavior because if they were enforcing their app store guidelines universally, then Facebook, Twitter, Google, Tumblr, Reddit would all be removed right now. I mean, fucking chrome would be removed like i can access any of these things on safari on my phone and that and that comes with the goddam system

so why is that not allowed right and i think you just look at all these things that are happening now it's all just meant to clamp down on control they're losing control of the behemoth that they built and they realize too that their centralized power structure is crumbling right with things like the blockchain rising with things like cryptocurrency it brings radical transparency it brings a censorship proof internet and it decentralizes

the power from you look at it's all on Mark Zuckerberg right he has the most centralized power and control in the world right now arguably more than governments right so that type of power is unprecedented human history and it's starting to crumble away with the decentralization and the radical transparency of technology like the blockchain and Silicon Valley knows it, right? That's why they're freaking out right now to try to get as much control over the system as possible and clamp down on these, I guess, populists and patriotic people that are standing up and trying to fight for individual liberty, the free flow of information, the free and

open web. All these things are in jeopardy. Silicon Valley loves to talk about net neutrality. Oh, let's prevent Verizon from trying to control who gets a spot on the internet. Well, what good is that when you already have companies like Cloudflare, at Google, and Facebook, that can decide who has a voice, who

is actually allowed on the internet? Domains are being seized just because this is insanity this is absolute lunacy and we're going to continue to speak out about it and let people know about it because it's happening under our noses nobody's talking about it and they're just allowing it to happen so that's you know partly what drove me to start building gap as well well what's your what's your life like i mean you've you've had to you were in silicon valley for a while i don't

we don't know where you're at now location unknown not taxes but what's your life like kody willson called it and he's got some mighty big enemies like who's who's after you want to do the bases all we have to find a venomous i mean we're working off that least two or three times a week uh you know, massively two at a massive scale. You know, I've been docksed personally.

My family has been docks. Death threats left and right. You name it. You know, we've been through it all. And to me, it's all worth it, right? And I knew going into this, that that was a possibility, right? Like those things happen when you put yourself out there at a level that we are to defend, you know, something so sacred that people want the Welch, like they wanted to end.

There are truly people on the other side that want to end free speech, right? Like they want to make it a crime to speak hatefully. It's literally wrong think crime, right? Like, there are people in this world that actually believe that a cartoon frog is racist, right? Like, you can't make this stuff up. It's a level of insanity that just doesn't make any logical sense to me. So I knew when I got into this that it's like,

you know, there are some crazy people out there. And I'm going to be a target. But if that's what it takes to defend these liberties that I love, and then I know somebody, you know, like a spillion of people, love and cherish about the internet, then it's worth it. So that's the cross-like area. Man, it's, the not having an app is really fucked.

Like I would love, I would use GABA all the time, but that just, that not have, what's the odds you guys get back in the app store? I mean, can you sue for that? Like, I don't, people don't know this. People don't remember, there's a lot of like 25 year old engineers, even 30 year old engineers who don't remember

how much bullshit Microsoft went through in the 90s just because they pre-packaged internet explorer with the system. That's anti-competitive. You can't. Like explaining to people fundamentally what anti-competitive business practices are about is totally lost on the engineering crowd, especially today, because they're like, it's maximum levels of pedantism

that's going on with engineers, they're like, well, you know, I could I could root my phone, I could install another app store, and then I could and then I could install Gab and they're not stopping that. So that's not anti-competitive. It's like motherfucker fundamentally, like I can't tell my mom to do it.

So that's it. That's it. Exactly. Yeah, the normies, the normies won't get that, right? And that's not the thing to any competitor too, is that scale, it's just. That's it. Yeah, the normies, the normies won't get that right. Yeah. Yeah. And that's the basic anticompetitive too. Is that scale? It's just, it's very difficult. So on iOS, we have a little workaround where you can use Safari and you can click share and then add to home screen and it actually adds like an app like icon. Okay. That's a direct link back to the

gap sign-in page. So it's like a one click to get to Gap versus like opening up the browser, typing it in, then typing in your username, et cetera. That's what I do now. So that's like one short on an iOS. On Android, thankfully we have, you know, obviously you can side-load it. So you can download our Android app

right from the front page of Gap.ai. We have the APK there. And you just have to install it and allow on sources. That's the other thing, right? And it's like, you get normies, like, and you say, oh, you have to download this random file that's not on the app store and secured by Google. And people are always like paranoid about downloading outside apps. So that's what we have to deal with now. And that's why it's fundamentally anti-competitive because

you know they remove us for hate speech but meanwhile for chance to have like a dozen apps out there uh... you know face book twitter tumblr of all freaking places has an app i mean come on like it will and the volume of i guess you could say hate speech posts on these other channels is exponential when compared to ours, right?

And they're cherry picking random users from Arnand and saying like an apples case, you have to ban this user within 24 hours and remove their content as well. And it's like, well, it's impossible to do. Yeah. Thanks for- How are you going to do that? How are you possibly within twenty four hours you know we have ten thousand of post each and every day

you're talking to look at the book and twitter they have like what hundred millions billions of post every day how can they possibly the pictures higher three thousand employees to tomorrow to improve speech they're now banning a million accounts per day for hate speech uh... spam and spam all right that's what they said a million accounts per day for hate speech spam and scams.

All right, that's what they said. A million accounts per day. That is absurd. Like, what is it going to stop? I mean, Twitter is using artificial intelligence, IBM's Watson AI to automatically flag and suspend and put Twitter jail for 12 hours or seven days or 30 days or whatever without even any human involvement at all. So you get these mass flagging campaigns by folks on both the left and the right by

the way that use it now as I guess a tactic to get more people shut out and bend. It's really truly an information war and you know both sides are going at it pretty hard for here. They better not let that AI start posting like that. Microsoft won the day. I mean, I really like I've been I've been banned from so many things over 10 years that I guess it's probably triggers me more than like I a lot of people just don't care. I go whatever, whatever, someone else will come along and dedicate their entire life to making

a Twitter competitor, not my problem. Right. It figures me more than other people just because I've been banned for making jokes for so fucking long. Right. And real wrote it in the same way. Like you guys, this show had a rape list made by people and that's what that's what medics put out that fucking video about you guys have like a white power list i'm sure that

somebody went through and cherry picked all your site to uh... i mean all you have to do is find a search and you can do the same thing on twitter you guys have an aces accounts on gab is it i just free i just free they are here twitter can't fucking say that would you kick ice is free there you put it twitter can't fucking say yeah Would you kick a nice account? Oh?

We don't have a a Saudi prince majority shareholder either so oh American made Would you kick an ice is account off your platform? Oh? Absolutely. Yeah, no, we we have pretty clear, right? Like it's free speech within legal limits. And if you're a part of a known terror organization, you're promoting terror, promoting, you know, violence against other people, that's not free speech, right? Like we've banned people for making death threats to the president, I'm like Twitter, who had thousands plus death threats to the president, right? Like all all day every day and they don't do anything about it i don't know how the super small that

but that's that's not only um you know against twitter skyline against our guidelines but it's against the law the crime like these things are allowed again in in mass volumes on the app stores but we're moved because someone said the n-word on gap or you know i, I want Google to get their fucking tits. I want Google and Apple to get their tits sued off for kicking people off the fucking app store.

Or, or, or, we're working on, go, go ahead. We're working on something. No, we're working on something. We just want to actually, uh, illegal fund because we're smart. Okay. We're not going to waste the money that we just raised to grow the business and to grow the team on legal efforts. So we want to dedicate it legal fund and we are pursuing all avenues, whether it's First Amendment, Antitrust, Anticompetitive

Behavior, we're looking into everything right now to fight back because frankly what other choice do we have? We we are completely basically black listed at this point from getting on either App Store. That is directly harming our business and our opportunity to grow. And not only that, it's infringing on the $230,000 people that we have on the site. It's infringing on their ability to speak freely on our platform, which is what they're there for. So it also makes the platform like for lack of a better word, worse, because only the people who want like, you're going to get way more people who want to do bad shit on it if it's hard for like, if it's hard for grandma to hop on and share cat pictures, or if it's

hard for like, it like, you're just going to get like a hotbed of dudes who want to talk about politics and that never goes well. Dudes have boxing with politics on any platform is bad. You wanna get hot bitches. That's interesting, right? Yeah. Is that we have like just a lot of people, like just normies, because that's the thing.

It's like, it's not only just like the edgy people. Like that's always the first round of bands, right? And a lot of people, but in the left and right, you can look at certain edgy people like that's always the first round of bands right and a lot of people but left and right can look at certain edgy people and be like well i can kind of see where they're coming from well it's not only that now it's also you know your aunt or your little cousin or your friend from college who's getting banned or suspended or you know put in time out uh... on

uh... every social network. It's happening across every mainstream established with social network. So it has now moved to the normie phase. And when you start censoring and shutting up normies and telling them they can't do something, they're going to want to do it more. That's just human nature. So we've attracted a lot of just average, everyday normal, working class people that believe in free speech, believe in our mission, and really despise

what's happening in Silicon Valley. Dude, you gotta get like a big celebrity. You gotta dupe one of these idiot like Hollywood celebrities, some up in, some up in comma that I don't even know their name of, that's got dollar signs in their name. You gotta trick them, or whatever, you know, convince whatever. So I forget, I got to use, I got to use regular words. Cut that out, Sean.

Yeah, you got to convince them using our impassioned arguments and please to just use you guys and not use like Twitter or Instagram. Like James Woods, just get them to a band in Twitter. Somebody who doesn't give a fuck, you know, band in Twitter somebody who doesn't give a fuck you know it's like somebody who doesn't need it because I will read like there's there like when Howard's Thurne went to Sirius he he made the entire satellite radio network. Oh yeah, you know like I'm sure I'm sure you don't fucking need some idiot giving you advice on how to run you you got a million dollars in your pocket what the but man I got serious I

Downloaded it. I put it in my fucking car. I would go every day just to listen to him and now I can't live without it Well now I can't live without the music. I don't even yeah, go ahead So I think I think our plan on that front is to really go after the content creators who are being demonetized and no Platform specifically on places like YouTube. Yeah, You know, if we're going to launch, first of all, we're going to launch our own cryptocurrency, we're going to have an initial point offering. And what this will allow us to do is not only raise a war chest to take on Silicon Valley,

but also have a war chest to attract content creators. And give their audience an ability to actually reward them in return peer to peer-peer versus relying on this third-party middleman of an advertiser. And that's really who's pulling the puppet strings here is the advertiser dollars, right? Because YouTube wants to make videos that are advertiser-friendly, right? Facebook wants to create a newsfeed experience in Twitter that is advertiser-friendly so they make more ad dollar money. But then you have creators who now are waking up and losing 75% of their

monthly income because this is what they do full time. I'm sure you guys know. And that's how they make their money and they wake up and it's gone. Who? Yeah. And now all of a sudden they have to start walking on each of their videos's been very careful about what topics they talk about and how they talk about them and what they say. We'll just not do anything at all. We'll just not do anything at all. Like that's what I stopped writing and doing videos eight years ago, because I got two videos just removed

by Google. I mean, fuck it. I got other stuff I could do. I don't need to do this anymore. Right. Yes, so you just go directly to podcast and stuff. So, I mean, this problem's not going away, right? And we're going to continue to do everything that we can to A, expose it.

And that's what I call releasing the frogs. I think that's part of the big brand here is releasing the frogs on Silicon Valley. Fiblic, yeah. And exposing, that's great. Exactly. Yeah, yeah. frogs on Silicon Valley. Fiblican. And it's posing. That's great. Exactly. Yeah. And charging up. It's exposing really what's going on over there.

And it's all about money. It's all about power. And they're willing to give away and hand away our freedoms and our liberties in the free and open web and the free and open exchange of information and all of it in jeopardy. OK, I wish there was more important to people. I wish that was more fucking,

I wish it was just more important. Like I wish when people saw ideas getting squelched, it would like make them disgusted in the same way that seeing like an old man getting beat with a stick is. Right, you know. Well, I think what happened to Poodie Pie, I think that's gonna red pill a whole group of younger people. A whole generation. Yeah, right. You know, I think what happened to Pudipi, I think that's going to red pill a whole group of younger people. A whole generation. Yeah, exactly. Right. There. He's someone that we're actually trying to get on as well. Yeah. Yeah. And

demore you. You got to use that million bucks, like send him some hookers or something like that. I don't get him. I get him on. What are you going to do with that million bucks? And you can have a big party like, uh, it's bubble. No, we're not the typical Silicon Valley, you know, tech startup. We're going to hire our core team and make this last as long as possible and focus on actually making money. We were actually profitable our first year of operation. How the fuck is that? Twitter's not profitable. Yeah, yeah, first year that's incredible. How is that? How are you profitable? Well because we had to be we were operating completely on cash we raised a hundred fifty thousand dollars in donations from our community Huh, that's how we were operating

So we have to be casual positive because we were operating a hundred percent on cash You know, I turned down every VC to came knocking Wow every special interest that came knocking and I, we're gonna open up our first funding round to our community. So we did what's called a Title III crowdfunding, Equity crowdfunding campaign, and we actually raised that first million dollars from our community, not from venture capitalists,

not from any special interests, from the people who actually use the site every day, which is really cool and really unprecedented in terms of, you know, I guess a new social network. I can imagine if you were one of the first, you know, 250,000 users of Twitter or Facebook and they open up their very first funding round to those users. That's what it would be like. It's just never happened before, so I'm really proud of that.

And it goes towards our mission of putting our people first. And we have a lot of exciting things on the horizon too. The ICO is going to be really big. I think it's going to shock a lot of people. The what? It'll help us decentralize. What's going to be point offering? Oh, the coin offering. So this is a crypto currency. Not IPO. Are you fucking Sean? Are you like, this is what the world's, they're making their own currency to fund the site. And this is real. I can't.

Yeah, I can't. This is happening. I'm just an old fashioned. If you look at it, I don't know. I would look into cryptocurrency, blockchain and ICO. Know those three terms, start looking into them because they're going to change everything. What it does is right now, the way that they're targeting the left is also targeting payment processing.

So people are getting no offer from PayPal, from Stripe, from all these payment processors. And if you don't have money, that's the lifeblood of any content creator, any artist, any website, any platform like us, that's the lifeblood, right? If you don't, if you can't monetize, then you can't do anything. It's interesting with that to me also because like you think of You know everybody's like is a private company you can do it everyone's private company Do it right but isn't the purpose of the government to give us a currency that we can use and de facto the method of currency is credit cards and PayPal on the internet so like

Who the fuck is and who the fuck is failing here? Who is like, it's not a private company. The idea is that we can't pay each other for shit anymore. Right. I mean, the idea is that in a perfect world, the free market will do its thing. And if you're unhappy with service X, service Y can come along and create a new market for people like you. That's exactly what we've tried to do. That's what we've tried to do. But unfortunately, you have two or three companies that have Duopoly and Olegopoly on all these things, payment processing, hosting, domain registrars, all of it is in the hands of four or five companies.

Typically, they all lean one way, as I'm sure we all know, and they typically are also united, as was exemplified over the past several weeks, on decisions like this, on who gets to use the internet and who doesn't. And that's true. Yeah, because companies have terrified, have been terrified of getting sued since, for 20 years, so they've promoted people who have the same ideology because they've been,

and they've been forced to. Like ever since the first episode of Married with Children came out, it's been, the meme of frivolous lawsuits has effectively trained our government and trained our companies into being like Free thought Gestapo's I don't know. I don't know how right? Like they're more Out And they think that they know best I mean that's that's the problem with all the elites in Silicon Valley, right?

Is they literally do think that they are superior to us normal plebs and that they should be guiding us into the future and telling us right from wrong and how to vote, how to think, what is real and what is it. They actually think that they are a level above us in terms of whether it's intellectually speaking or morally speaking. So that's the priority and ego complex that they have is being expressed now through the no platforming and the censorship and the demodetization of people that compete against their ideas.

So that's what we're seeing and I don't think that it's going to stop because I know these people very well. I was in the inner circle of the inner circle in the valley and I know how these people think. I know what their goals are. I know, you know, their ego. And I know that they truly do believe that they are superior in every way. And I just don't believe that.

I believe in the free market. I believe in the power of the people. I believe in democracy, individual liberty, classical liberalism. All of these things are really in democracy individual liberty classical liberalism uh... all these things are really in jeopardy right now because people are trying to you know rain back in the control that they used to have with traditional media that now they don't have because you have one guy in it in his apartment like

like a paul just a lot of one guy in his apartment can you know or or pewdiepie even forty five million subscribers on you one do one it's a one-dude show apartment can, you know, or PewDiePie even 45 million subscribers on YouTube. One dude. One, it's a one dude show. With the most dangerous demographic. Kids. Yeah. Um, yeah, I hope, I hope you, um, I hope you win this.

I hope you get back on the fucking app store. Yeah. Uh, I got, let me see, I got one more question. Thank you by the way for calling in. Are you a tits man or an ass man? I will comment on that. I think my fiance might get mad at me if I do. I think that's code for tits. I'm gonna say.

I got a bunch of things. I coach you got any questions? No, but it's really awesome what you're doing. I think that you, I didn't know you turned down all the VC money. That's really interesting. Keep all those Saudis out. Have you seen the weird YouTube like blank out stuff they're doing now with demonetizing? That is freaky.

It's not even demonetizing. It's basically disappearing. Yeah, completely from the internet, you know, making it completely inaccessible. And that's scary. That's really scary stuff. I mean, the demonetization was one level. It's like, okay, we're not going to allow our advertisers to place ads here. Fine. Again, my private company, you know, my private platform, whatever. But now, to actually hide and remove and make it almost impossible to discover those videos, that's another level, right?

And it's scary stuff. Twitter is doing the same thing too. You have to like click three or four times, you know, show more replies, and then there's, oh, this is sensitive. And he replies down here sensitive. And if you do three or four clicks, just be someone's comment. I think I've, it's insanity. I think I can stop. I think I figured out the crypto current. So like when Sirius gave Howard Stern a cut of the company,

I think that the cryptocurrency they're making they can get like they could give PewDiePie a cut of the boy. Yep. Yeah. Oh, you guys are in. I'm gonna go invest. I'm investing in the startup right now. Oh yeah. You can't beat that or whatever whatever they got. No, you can't in. I'm gonna go invest. I'm investing in the startup right now. Oh, yeah, I can't beat that or whatever Whatever they got. No, you can't you can't you can't like you're giving money to people. You can't beat it Congratulations on your victory against the the Goliath All right, thank you so much. Appreciate the time Jeff. Yeah, thanks man. Have a good one. All right. Bye bye I forgot to ask what makes him a ray. Ah fuck, I think we know. I think we all know.

He derailed you with his tits versus ass. As a titser. That's code for tits. Because nobody, like nobody would be shy about saying ass because then you just tell your girlfriend and you feel like, oh yeah, you get a great ass. We see a picture of her. She's a huge rack and he's actually an ass man like shit.

Yeah, let's find it. We gotta find his feet. He's been docks. Let's find it. Yeah. We gotta find her. I like asking people that question. Cause I wanna know.

I wanna know who's in charge of this thing. You know? Or you can get 100% on board. Yeah, whether or not he has some weird ass better. Things are looking good, but I'm gonna have to ask you one fine ass ones. I'm not that one, they. Tits are ass, man.

I need to know how this company is. I like that answer. Are you a normal person who likes tits or do you have some weird fetish about asses? Yeah, you some weird, not unevolved, four-legged creature running around like acid. Like who my can't trust some sort of weasel, some sort of weaselish man.

Oh yeah, Cantillion. All right, you're in. Hey, Cantillion, what's up, dude? Hey, what's up, buddy? Hey, say, where did you go? So last Sunday, there was a big free speech rally and a free speech rally. What do you call it? Like yeah, free speech rally in a anti illegal immigration rally in Laguna Beach,

California, which is one of the most liberal bastions in in Orange County. Wait, you live in Orange County? Yeah, I live in Orange County. Oh, shit, dude. Are you coming into the LA show? Would you drive all the way up here for that? Oh, awesome. I'll get a hotel and get hammered.

That's what I plan to do. Good, good, good. We got, so here's the deal with the LA show. It didn't cost me anything to rent the venue, but it's got to hit, I think we got to hit a $5,000 bar tab. Oh, that's dope. Or else I got to hit, I think we got to hit a $5,000 bar tab. Or else, or else I got to make up the remainder. If it doesn't, you have to drink.

Yeah, and not with money. They're gonna make me drink five, they're gonna make me drink whatever the minus of 5,000 and whatever the dickhead's drink. They're gonna make me drink the remainder of that. I think we'll make it after seeing the, the Philadelphia. I hope so. Everybody bring in drinking shoes. Get nice and sauce and then get in a t-shirt buying.

So you're gonna be in a free speech rally, of course. Yeah. Yeah. I was down there and it was, uh, it was pretty crazy. But I wanted to be your dickhead on the street. Thank you. In mind. Yeah. Oh, of course. And I decided to bring your dickhead on the street. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. You didn't mind. Yeah. Of course.

And I decided to bring a protest sign because that's the only way you can communicate at these things. Uh-huh. So I made a, it's like I said, did you bring a video recorder too? I did not. Unfortunately, I don't, I don't, I'm not that rich. So, uh, phone. No.

What was your sign? I suppose the protest sign said, uh, we want a government so small, you can't even see it. Hashtag, Maddox lies. And it worked out really well, though, because everybody, everybody was asking, oh, oh, and I also put your website at the bottom. Thank you. Everybody was like, oh, yeah, of course. And everybody was like, oh, who's Maddox? And what's the big shit? What's Maddox and what's what's the line? What's you line about is a scientist? And I got a couple of interviews. I've been trying to scour the internet to see if I can find them But you know, I said that you know dick masters in he's our foremost

Libertarian and cultural icon You got it in the? People are using you. Yeah, I don't think it was main news networks is probably just some random people with like Twitter accounts. Those are better. Yeah, I'm sure there's something out there. I'm sure the dickhead will be able to find it. And then I wanted, and then I asked about Maddox, everybody's like, oh, who's Maddox?

And I'm like, oh, he's just some failed writer, social justiceologist. He's, don't listen to him, don't listen to his lies. So of course, he got to be throwing the digs out wherever he can. Yeah, yeah, man. It was pretty crazy though. I mean, so there's about 40, 40, 50, Trump supporters, free speech supporters, libertarians

kind of running around there. They had their flags and everything else, but there's probably about a good 2,000 people that were bust in from Santa Ana just to just to yell, just to scream. And there was there was an Tifa. I actually got a couple pictures of in Tifa. Wait, who the Antifa people were bust in? Oh, yeah, no, there's this organization. We found we found a couple of like little superstans.

It was like from care, the council and American Islamic relations. I'm almost positive that they were busing people down. And there's one guy. The name is care for OACIR. We gotta come up with like a bad guy version of that. Like how the specter was, you know, what was the good guy, Uncle,

that had an acronym, right? We need a bad guy acronym for care. Like, hey, there's something I never mind. Nair, Nair, Nair, Nair. Nair, Nair. Nair, Nair. But it was, Nene, I like that. Oh, is it?

No, but it was ridiculous though, because this entire thing was so or well, that, you know, we're on one side, the police were on the other. And it was like the two minutes of hate from 1984 for these, for all these, these protesters. It's, there is no discussion. But luckily there was only a few fights at the very end of rally. Did you get any fights? Almost. There's these three and Tifa girls who couldn't have been any older than then 16 17. Oh, right. I'm going to get a bunch of crap in my ass.

Oh, I'm going to get ladies, I punch for the tit with open hand. I have WWF rules. I'm a titzman, I'm a titzlapper. They call me Tommy the titzlapper. Yeah. Yeah, that was that was pretty much it. There was there was one guy pepper spray was flying everywhere. Um, you know, just there was a couple of people who said they were Nazis, but I don't believe any of that. The worst part is though is I actually saw, did they have a time to shoot with them? Did they get nothing? Yeah, I think that's what I'm talking about.

I'm not sure if I can do that. I'm not sure if I can do that. I'm not sure if I can do that. I'm not sure if I can do that Nazis, but I don't believe any of that. The worst part is though is I actually saw... Did they have a time machine with them? Did they just arrive from the 40s? They're not Nazis. Goose stepping through the sand. Looking bad.

And it's just... It's a good movie. That's a great movie. You saw it too? The Hitler movie? Yeah, it's great. Dude, what a great, I thought that they would fuck that up. It was an incredible actor. Yeah, is's great. Dude, what a great, I thought that they would fuck that up. That was an incredible actor.

Yeah, is he like a German famous German actor? I think in parentheses, I think. Is he? There's this cantillians, there's this movie on Netflix called Look Who's Back. I think it's based on a book. I don't know. I don't know about this. I really like it.

My favorite part is when he shoots the dog. Maybe laughs so fucking hard. Yeah,'t know. I don't know. I don't know. I really like it. My favorite part is when he shoots the dog. Maybe laughs so fucking hard. I know. I know. No, it was really good. It was really, yeah, Hitler comes back and... Let me make a talk. Yeah. Just, you know, it does hitlery things. Yeah.

She's basically... I thought it was going to be total shit, but I started watching it. I was just unbelievable. I thought there was no way they could resolve this book and maintain the integrity of like the story that they're telling and they totally did. Yeah. Like it was a real, it was a real like, wow, how did the fuck did this get through? That's a hell of a message. I've had like 10 people watch it after, after it's 10, yeah,

10 people to watch. Yeah. Anyway, it sounds like fun. I want to get on one of those buses. Let's get bus in and be antifa guys. I'm gonna wear a 360 degree camera on top of my helmet. I want to be one of the antifa guys though. I want to go in with a mask and some clubs and shit and talk about whatever property is theft and just come in there, like property is theft and just come in there, fucking busting heads, right?

Sounds like fun. Doesn't it? It was a great time. It was a great time. I could tell these little kids were just having a good old blast behind their black masks and throwing piss bottles or whatever the hell they're doing. Oh, do they have piss bottles, too?

I probably, I didn't see it, but. That's a thing. They do. Fake news. Fake news. All right, man, have paste bottles too? I probably I didn't see it, but that's a thing they do fake news, fake news. All right, man, what makes you rage? Thanks for doing that. Send in some pictures. No problem. Get some pictures of like Dixia stuff in front of Antifa people. Yeah, that's funny.

I got one in front of the cops. Next time there's a rally, I'll make sure to do that. Okay, cool. Yeah. So what makes me a rage this week is blathering drunks. So I may call the right show my friend. Oh, yeah. This one's for you, dude. I'm absolutely. Oh, sorry. Go ahead. I have no other drunks. I'm a huge fucking drunk. And that's that's fine. But you know what? I'm in the industry. I'm a bartender. I'm a huge fucking drunk and that's fine, but I'm in the industry, I'm a bartender,

I'm a manager, after work, the only thing I wanna do is maybe just do a little Tinder action, have a beer, but there's these some of these drunks out there, man, that just do not shut the fuck up, especially when you're trying to talk with a chick. Yeah. And next thing you know is that they're coming in there and just ruining your whole fucking game

Just ruining the whole the whole thing for you about the worst things. Oh, I don't know you are the you are the biggest defender of this You serious? Yes, when you get going it's like the Boulder on India It's like a fuck. I just like try to you can't stop it. You can't rewind the momentum You just got to run you just got to get out of the way. It's like a title wave coming in, taking off the chicks out with it, out to sea. Oh boy. But it's not even just guys though. That's the greatest answer to that of it ever.

Oh boy, can't tell it. It's not even, it's not even, it's not even just men. Whenever like the worst is whenever I'm just trying to sit at the bar, relax, there's always the old housewife who's 50, 55, 60, piled out of her mind, drinking, drinking shard nay and she's just sitting there just like, we'll not shut the fuck up. And then she keeps on saying, oh, like I want to even introduce you to my daughter. She's so beautiful. And I'm like, oh fuck yeah, let me take 230 pounds

of her. Exactly. And then I'm just sitting there just like, oh, fuck, I don't even want to talk to this woman. I don't even want to talk to her daughter. This is just this is the worst. And so you're sitting there and then your buzz is ruined and then you go home, just pissed off. And you work at a bar. So you get this all done. Oh, I get it all the time. And like, you know, when it's early in the morning, you know, 9 a.m. I'm just sitting there getting ready for lunch and everything. And you just have these women who are so full on Xanax and the fucking pain killers, like shit's falling out of their bag.

They're sloppy on the ground already. It's just, you're just like, this is, this is what the boomer generation has created. Like a bunch of ghouls, a bunch of crazy, nine a.m. with purses the size of duffel bags that they carry their failure, like like fucking Bob Cratchit, these broads in Orange County carrying around back chains full of opiates from bar to bar slinging slinging shardin A around like it with a halo of shardin A around them at all times trying to hook their daughters up with strange men. This is their life.

This is the American dream that horror show. All right, man, um, send in some picks. Thanks for the VHS too. I got it, by the way. Of course. No problem, man. Of course. The Titanic VHS.

Oh, God. All right, take it easy. All right, later bud. So yeah. But. All right, who else do I got in here? Who the fuck? Who is solid snake?

Um, I feel like I got an email from him. Oh, I know, I know this guy. All right. Solid snake you there. What's going on there? Hey, how you doing? All right. Solid snake. I was cruising the Facebook group as I do. I'm always floating around there. Right. Like and comments. Seeing if seeing who's found an embarrassing picture of me from high school this week, which they do all the fucking time. God damn it, because my high school is having its 20 year reunion. Wait, can I just go on and post embarrassing photos of you? Is that if you do all I see solid snake here's comment on Facebook saying dick is what it what did you what was your post exactly on Facebook about me talking about the civil war it was like dick is the stupidest person in the

whole world dick is a giant I didn't get that bad. I just called you a dumb at it. Yeah, dumb at it. No. No, what I was saying is that it seems like in these discussions like on the Facebook group and with people on the right and generally there's like a general general intellectual disinterest in like the black experience. Yeah, and it seems like and I'm not calling anyone a racist or saying they're a bad person like people trying to kiss me off on the Facebook red but we can be bad people you know what you know yeah and what you don't know you don't necessarily know you don't know it yeah that's what I was calling out well help us out i'd like to know more about the black experience

uh... time in the world for that but now i guess like uh... in terms of the whole statue thing uh... that's what we're talking about the confederate the confederate statues that are in that are causing big shit storms right robberty leaves got to come down and a bunch of others got to come down and people are pissed off and me and probably a lot of other people are like what the fuck is the big deal.

So like my thing with displaying the federal stat confederate statutes is that I don't I don't mind if people want to do that with the private lands and the private money is. You know like like you were talking about earlier with the founder of Gav, like free speeches, like Cornerstone Foundation for Society. But I think that as a black person, you walk into a courthouse or a municipal building and you see Robert E. Lee or you see Jefferson Davis. I mean, it's like one of those little things that chips away at you every time you do it. And it's like... I those little things that chips away at you every time you do it. And it's like, I can everybody can understand that.

Everybody can understand things getting chipped away at, right? Like my back to school shit, they're just chipping it away. But I gotta ask you, why? Like I always wanna know, why does it, why does it, why does it chip away at you? Cause it can't be the same, like that can't be everybody's experience. I don't wanna say like what is it? Why does it, why does it, why does it chip away at you? Because it can't be the same, like that can't be everybody's experience.

I don't want to say like what is or what not everyone's experience. No, I don't think it is everyone's experience. I'm definitely talking for my, but it's, it's, you know, a courthouse is purported to be a place where people come and they get fair justice. Yeah. That doesn't always happen. But like that's, that's the conceit we have and the faith we invest in the system. And as a black citizen, seeing people who died, fought and died and

killed and ordered other people to their deaths, to keep your ancestors enslaved, for a stay whose very foundation was white supremacy and keeping the black man in bondage. And I just think it's one of those little things that ships away at you all the time. That most people, they don't make a big deal about, but it goes on every day and it kind of builds up your resentment towards things. And I think that's one reason why Black people

are seem to be suspicious of white people in general. Yeah. Well, I understand what you're saying. I mean, it's not a big deal. are seeing to be suspicious of white people in general yeah well i understand what you're saying a big deal like it's not necessary but it's just my thoughts on it you know i think it would be better for race relations for those things not to be publicly fun i mean does it offend you personally like i think there's this there's this uh... there's this thing people do like where they're offended on other people's

be half which i see a lot you actually have i i don't know i'm just assuming like to defend you personally the statutes that are up yeah it does um... does i don't i don't i don't live in the south but um... my mom and my grandma they grew up in texas under gym crow and all that other than all that other nonsense you know for generations and I get what you're saying

because it seems like it seems like such an easy move to just make like if you feel that way like okay it seems like we could just take the statues down and like what's the big deal right I think the only thing the only thing that bugs me about it is I don't think those guys like i don't think robberty lee was was number one to a trader and i don't think he wanted i don't think he wanted there to be slaves uh... because his choice robberty lee's choice in that scenario was to either

was to either protect people like his family and people in his community and his local community or to kill them. And it's like from a man's point of view, I think that the choice should always be to defend your family community, your locality, like the more the things that are closer to you should be more important to you. And I mean, he even said, Robert Lee even said, hey, if I, if it was up to me, I would just surrender, if I had all the slaves in the South, I would surrender them to avoid this war. But the only alternative, but I don't have that.

So the alternative for me is to either kill my countrymen or defend them. And I have to do, like, and i have to do this like i'm bound by like i understand that and i don't think it's his black and white is what as the way people are presenting it you know does that make sense yeah absolutely i mean it's a very nuanced thing and while i do have sympathy for that i also look at how seriously robber. Lee took

his legacy as being, you know, his George Washington was his father in law. Like he saw that. I didn't know the self is inheriting that. Yeah, like there's a close connection between the two. And so he very much honored Washington and like respected him greatly for that. And so my problem with Robert E. Lee in particular is that like I can't reconcile

like his appreciation for what Washington factified and what he was willing to do to form the country and then to betray the country at a later date. I mean I like to look at the entire session is is is betrayal of the of the of the country i mean i think it is because uh... you know the there were talks about the session for at least a decade on into the civil war yeah and when it's and Lincoln was elected president that was the first time in american history in which no single state voted for uh... candidate for president and that candidate became president.

Yes, that was the first time that the South effectively had no control over who became president in that sense. Yes. And so it also comes a lot of sour grapes to me and that like, oh, even though we've had like all but two or three of the president come from the south the fact that there's so many states in the west like my beloved illinois who are going to vote against you uh... and so we can't control the presidency anymore and they want to not hold people in bondage even though the more argument is clear on that and britain also by the way

and it's livery uh... but like we can't do years, something like that beforehand, when it was also profitable for them. So it's not like the morality of this thing wasn't clear, but you're absolutely right. It's those complicated things. You're thinking about your friends and your family and your community. You don't let me know their well so there's the there's the there's the morality issue which everybody makes a big deal out of and

it's like well okay so that's that's a great question does the morality matter and how much does it matter and give me the dollar amount that it matters in because in my in my view if the north was serious about wanting to end slavery, they could have put together like a 10 or 20 year bond program and just bought them all and

bought all the slaves and said, okay, here, here you guys go. We've got a, we're going to pay, we're going to pay full market, retail value. We're going to reimburse you. I mean, the government reimbursed the bad loans that the bank made for fucking tarp. I know they can put together a gigantic buyout package. And they could have just peck like, here, we're going to buy them all over, we're going to buy all the slaves over 20 year period because if, because, I mean, we kind of like, we, we, we set up this scenario where you guys had to do this

to keep your businesses going. Like we set up a scenario where this, we're half of the entire fucking country ran on slaves. You couldn't find labor to replace them because no manual laborist would go into, would go into a world like an entire half of a country where they were competing with free labor. So we've driven, we've done you the disservice of over a hundred years driving out

anyone who could fill the gap. We've entered, like we've done you the disservice of over a hundred years driving out anyone who could fill the gap. We've entered it like we've put millions of people, a population of four million people on in your in your in your homes on your property that cannot function without this fucked economic system. And in order to fix it, we're just going to make it illegal. Like there should have if they were serious and it was a real, if it was a real problem of Marley for the North, they should have put together a massive buyout

package, but they didn't. And that, that tells me, that tells me everything I need to know about how serious they were about it being a moral issue and not just about like turning a political screw. As cynical as I am, I don't know, I've probably gotten off, gotten off track in a number of ways. school as cynical as i am i i i don't know i've probably gotten off got an off track and a number of ways i mean that's a fair criticism because like i mean the play the con in was clearly like essential terms of our economy like what's gonna happen

yeah but i think another question to keep in mind in the conflict is how will slippery spread you know new state for coming into the union all the time and a lot of the political fight that happened leading up to and contributing to the civil war that well are we gonna allow it in the new state that far like how are we gonna manage it like it was you know that and even number between free and slave states like you don't want month date to come into the union and be

free or slave and then it fucks up the whole balance and so i mean like you're absolutely right about um about the importance of it to the economy. And like the Northerners could have done a much better job of like coming up with some sort of plan in the meantime, like some way to like transition. But no one in the South really thought about that either. And I think they had to have seen that they were in a tentable position, especially after a year,

so into the war, Britain stopped. Even they cut off their cotton imports exports to Britain, but Britain made it up on, you know, their Indian colonies. And so even, like, whatever happens, like, after the war, cotton was no longer like a viable economic cash crop in the South anyway. So, I mean, there were major changes that had to happen in the southern economy regardless of like the reason for why the war was about bought or hot played out

but i mean i think to bring it back to modern day america as a proud american like i think you love this country uh... much to this to the dismay of my more liberal friends even though like obviously i'm liberal too but i mean i just think that no reason to celebrate people betrayed the country even if you don't want to call them traders they still

fought a war against you know like your brother in who helped you throw up the british yoke and so like i mean i can't i'm glad you know what is the country now but i don't know. I think I just don't see it like that because of the,

it's, for me, it was like everybody just looking back on it and I have no like emotional connection to it, obviously, except that it seems a lot like illegal immigration to me, where we let people come in and it's not the same, but they don't have the same rights as Americans do. Like illegal immigrants don't have the same rights. And we pay them, we pay them atrociously treat them atrociously, like they have no bargaining power.

They don't get to act like free people. I don't wanna say they're slave labor, but because they're not, but they're on the spectrum. Like they are abused. They're abused. They're abused and we mock it, but we've set up an entire economy where every business and every person in America has to participate in this, in this economy. And the solution to me isn't just, well, we've, we've all eaten this big,

we've all had a big feast at Maastros, and now when it's time to pay the bill, we're out of here. You guys, you guys are paying it. I had a good feast here. I've, I've enjoyed the, this cotton empire, this tobacco empire, this fast food empire, that this, this, this labor without, without rights has, has built us, but I don't want to pay the bill.

So you guys do it. We're gone. I mean, that's what it means, when I see it, that's what they mean to me. This is a very complicated, there's a statue commemorating a very complicated and a very nuanced choice. I'd rather people learn what the reality of it is than just scream, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, and tear it down. And I don't ever hear that side. That's another point I wanted to touch on, actually. I don't think removing these statues is erased in history because that thing is pretty obvious

that the vast majority of people only know history through what they hear from friends or family or whatever thing that's flipping through on the internet or on TV. But like here obviously someone who's like spent some time studying it and thinking about it as a vibe. And I mean we're always going to be on the minority in that sense. And my prediction is that so long as human beings draw for us people will be studying the Civil War and they will be trying to understand what happened what didn't happen what were the implications of it and so I think that it's not in a ranger of history but it's just taking away like

a little bit of indignity that people generally have to suffer under the basis and I mean I just don't see how that's abandoned. That's tough. It's tough when you get feelings involved because I fucking hate feelings driving any choice at all. I was going to say I think a lot of the argument these days becomes less about like what the statue actually is. And we're about the people supporting the statue. Like I think that's because people are I don't feel great about being

on the side of Nazi's all the time. But you know what I mean? Like it's it's even though I know that's the statue. Like, I think that's because people are... I don't feel great about being on the side of Nazi's all the time. But you know what I mean? It's even though I know that's the symbol. Like, you see the people that are supporting that symbol. And I think that's a lot of times what pisses people off. You know what it is? We just need a type of statue where you can tell it what you want it to be.

You just put on your phone that I am... Change the face out. Yeah, it's a so hologram this technology exists so i want like i put on my phone what's what like you know these nazi guys put on their phone want to see robert e lee that's what i want to see play by denzel yeah Washington yeah and uh... denzel and uh... solid snake puts on yeah i want to see i don't know who do you want to

statue to be of solid snake uh... link is good and i want to see i don't know who do you want to start to be of solid snake uh... link is good and i like and link and i'm boring i put lucy wild every statu i see lucis that's all i that's all i want to see that's the problem it's the technology has been a very yet

that's like pretty the same problem with like people from uh... media consumption that is right like every day just like thing with a bonnet and i like that People's media consumption nowadays right like every there just like seeing what they want to see and they're not like challenging itself to like See what other viewpoints are out there actually like taking them seriously. Yeah, we need mocking them in just missing them We need more of that. We need more of that. All right, dude. Uh, your connections fucked. So we're gonna go But thanks, Harry. Thanks for calling in. That's the black perspective. Yeah, man. It was a was a good time hey what makes you rage uh... you know it makes me rage is uh...

fucking apple to one thing the left lane and drive ten miles more than everyone else yeah that's a bit that's why i mean i live in chicago so it's a big city like everybody's trying to get what they need to go like seven o'clock in the morning i'm trying to get me to work like if you want to drive ten miles under the limit get your ass off the right lane don't disrespect my time

at the time of everyone else on the road like we're trying to get somewhere out of the way when you see a line of cars behind you and nothing but pre-semite like faces in front of you fucking hit into the next lane. Stop being an asshole. You know what? I'm gonna let you go right now after that, because your audio sounds so bad. But they got those goddamn,

they got those goddamn, your speed signs, and then they go, you're going too fast. Don't you always try to put a big number on those? Yeah, every time. Of course, I get the blink to challenge. And I'm like, you guys are lucky that you put it to blink on too fast. Or else, because I try to get that thing up to 88. Every time. Of course, I get the blink to challenge. And I'm like, you guys are lucky that you put it to blink on too fast.

Or else, because I try to get that thing up to 88. Every time, every fucking time, just like I have, I have, I have, I have, I have, I have, I have, I have, I have, I have, I have, I have, I have, I have, I have, I have, I have, I have, I have, I have, I have, I have, I have, I have, I have, I have, I have, I have, I have, I have, I have, I have, I have, I have, I have, I have, I have, I have, I have, I have, I have, I have, I have, I have, I have, I have, I have, I have, I have, I have, I have, I have, I have, I have, I have, I have, I have, I have, I have, I have, I have, I have, I have, I have, I have, I have, I have, I have, I have, I have, I have, I have, I have, I have, I have, I have, I have, I have, I have, I have, I have, I have, I have, I have, I have, I have, I have, I have, I have, I have, I have, I have, I have, I have, I have, I have, I have, I have, I have, I have, I have, I have, I have, I have, I have, I have, I have, I have, I have, I have, I have, I have, I have, I have, I have, I have, I have, I have, I have, I have, I have, I have, I way, like bitch, you are going too fucking slow for this lane. Every single lane should have one of those like, wow, want, want, get the fuck out of this lane. Okay, what are we doing? It's been a long day.

All right, let's do. That's it. Coach, thanks for coming by. True thing. Thanks for inviting me. Yeah, Mr. Fancy pants, you got any, what may, yeah, you got anything, you got anything you want to plug? Plug? Yeah. No, not that I know of anything, you got anything you want to plug? Plug?

Yeah. No, not that I know of. You're ass. You want to plug this thing? You're gonna have a business. I was a creepy way to put, no, not a fan. I was thinking about the thing in terms of raging. I was thinking about the homemade gift you gave me years ago

to tie it back into your gifting and the gift you give. Yeah, they're all terrible. Do you remember the homemade gift you gave me? You gave me terrible gifts. Yeah, no, I don't Do you remember the homemade gift? You gave me a terrible gift. Yeah, I don't think I know this one. It was a sign to picture of myself. Yeah, as a birthday gift. And what was the, you had to sign it,

you personalized it in some way. Yeah, do you remember what it said? Wait a minute, I just came back to me. I do. Do you remember? I took a lot of, that, that, just like the, Gargoyle took a lot of work. I never finished the Gargoyle story. I'm sure it did by the way the the end of the Gargoyle So I gave my sister in her under new husband that Gargoyle and

then I told them that it was from a it was from one of the first churches in America that burned down And this was the only thing that- It's a fucking asshole. This was the only thing that's ever- And it was like, it was made out of concrete. Like it was the shittiest looking gargoyle. Did you at least make it look age? No, no, no, no, no, no. I did a UPC code on the bottom of it.

Yeah, I did one of the first churches that had a fountain hole in it. Cause it was meant to be part of a pedestal so you could buy a fountain. So I know what the quote was. I just said it off hand. Because my sister knows what's going on. She's like, oh, you son of a bitch.

Now I got to deal with this. Anyone that knows you will, we're just, we always assume, well, that's a lie. Yeah, but my brother-in-law, he still doesn't know. Like, he still doesn't understand. He doesn't conceive of the madness of lying. Yeah, like the compulsion. He doesn't understand.

Because he looks for a reason for lying. But there's no, it's just like I'm compelting. It's a lie lying. Yeah. Like the compulsion. He doesn't have any to do that. Because he looks for a reason for lying, but there's no, it's just like I'm compelting. It's like constantly. Yeah. And even if it's not, it's just like, I just don't want you to know what the truth is. Yeah, sure. Because you'll use it against me, right?

Wow, that's dark. Yeah. I don't know. I must have, something must have been fucked up when I grew up that made me think that. I don't know what it was, but that's like, that's the thing deep in the back of my mind. So apparently, this was a one-off comment I made to them,

like, because he goes, oh, where'd you, my brother-in-law say, oh, where'd you get this car, Gwell? And I said, oh, wow, it was really interesting. It came off this New England church burned down. If one of the first churches in the colonies, 16 hundreds of them like that, I know your name, so it's like, oh, good. Yeah. Got him just this important.

Really love, love, love, love, love, Tara Kahn in the, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Right off the top of my, I just set like thinking, this is obviously bullshit. So after they're wedding, I found out that they came, my sister came rushing in after the morning after. Tell him people.

Yeah, she goes, well, you please tell him that you were lying about the guard. I'm like, what are you talking about? And he's, you know, brother and other like, well, she goes, he's been telling every, like, he just told a whole group of people at the wedding brunch afterwards that it's like has this history attached to. And they're like, well, thanks for been made in Mexico a really long time. Why else would he give you something so fucking ugly? Yeah.

And I said, I don't know what she's talking about. That's what I told you. It's from church. It cost me a lot. So make sure you carry it around with you at all times. They've moved it everywhere. They've moved it. They moved it into Indianapolis.

Really? That's the gift portion. But he gets a great story to tell. It's not the Gargoyle. Yeah. Do you remember what the quote was that I wrote on this? I think it was, I think it was, keep your balls on the prize. It was. It was. It was. Yeah.

That took a lot of work, man. I had to take, that was before, that was, I had to do a DIY selfie. Yeah. I had to take a camera and take it without being able to look at it. Well, I was fucking good at that. I brought it up because I ran across it.

I was cleaning stuff out of my house. Yeah. Keep it. Keep your balls on the prize. Are you? Have you been keeping all the balls? Sure. Sure.

Yeah. So I have to bring that in and show it to you. You get for you. Okay. I'll show it to you in too many people. How you all wear it out? Yeah. I mean, this is this is Mithik Show. Go to tiktokshow.show.com, patreon.com.

So nice to have you show. Next week we'll do LA. Take a show. So if you got anything you want to do, if you got anything crazy, you want to do an LA, let me know. We'll probably have to do some comedy acts, stuff like that. For Han, Lacey's going to be there. Larry's coach, you're not going to be there, right?

I don't think so if it's the days you were mentioning. Yes, it is. I won't be in the country. Oh, well, good luck on that bar tip. Yeah, well, he's, we may not make it now. This is, let's see, this is a, this is a look, this is a lookembrous song. It's in the, it's in progress.

I don't know if you want me to play it, but here it is. This guy. Many of the smacks never even once said things and that's the fact he never took the time to read line by a lot My very brief study doesn't word show outline You're gonna underwound chess ecologists but having a good authority to fix a rape of volunteers to have proof that thick Lawsy School has w9s and many more out of context tips to one need to find But it all of me says the podcast killer but we all know he just did it for the fans and the skill of weight Did he say he's not a copy by police least copy right. Who means their mind to release? That's good. I don't know he looked like that. He's great.

Yeah, he's great. What does he look like? I thought he'd be more like, like who is that group that did? I'm sexy and I know it. I don't write, said Fred. Wait, is that, no, that's, I'm too sexy. Oh, is that different?

Well, I'm LMFAO. LMFAO, I thought he would look like the guy. I'm a great Gordy's kid. Yeah, I thought he would look like the guy from LMFAO but he doesn't, he doesn't look like that guy. Aren't those guys black? I don't think so. Yeah, LMFAO, yeah, that's one of them.

I'm very sorry man. Motown Records kid. Yeah. Oh, well, I guess I don't know who. Yeah, LMFA. Yeah, that's one of them. Very strong man. From Motown Records. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, well, I guess I don't know who anyone looks like then. I think he meant the robot from that group. Oh, yeah, I meant the robot. Thank you, Mr. Fancy fans. Let's see here. Do some voicemails. Well, do some, we're doing an episode tomorrow, right?

Apparently so, yeah. Yeah, we'll do more voicemails then. Dick, I don't know what's worse. What do you think? The longest time I thought that I had herpes and I thought I had gotten it from my dad kissing me on the mouth and I was a fucking kid. Because he had a lot of like mouth shit going wrong with him for a really long time. The problem was that he was actually Hispanic and he just ate a lot of a lot of acidic foods. he was actually Hispanic and he just ate a lot of a lot of acidic foods so it turns out

after all these fucking years i don't have her be instead i just have kinkers or i don't know if that's better or worse because that means i fucking stressed out enough and each shit food good news yeah it's good news in case he's still waffling i've had news i feel like he wouldn't know the difference between different types of herpes either. So that's probably.

Hey, Dick, Chinese belonging, Tokyo confused with Chinese Tony. I got a big fucking way to show you. Um, university and just college in general is probably the biggest fucking scam in the world. It's got to be. The fact that I have to pay all this money to get a quote unquote higher education for a job that probably won't even accept my bachelor's degree because I'm over fucking qualified now is fucking ridiculous.

University is fucking nickel and dime you for shit. Like today, why am I getting a fucking parking ticket because I didn't park in the right area? I park where all the fucking students park. Oh, are you parked in the right area? You're supposed to park in the right area. I park where all the fucking students park. Oh, are you parking the right area? You're supposed to park in the blue. Here's a fucking $25. What the fuck are you talking about? I just paid you like fucking $30,000 for the semester. Do you want more money out of me? Is that just me? Either it's the fucking book companies that are in it too. You know damn well

those books aren't worth fucking $200. You see how do you fucking mind? God fuck you. Sell them back for the biggest new versions. Yeah, damn they got new versions. The bloody proof of them tested you with and then most of them including me got a deal with fucking student debt. So what's the point of even fucking going? If I'm just gonna have to fucking work my way out of debt and just fucking shrivel up and die. That's I guess that's the point when you go to fucking after college,

you just shrivel up and die because you can't fucking afford to pay him back. I like him. Yeah. Anyway. That's my rage. You'll fuck yourself, great show. So you guys next week. You think they could work that in for the prize, right?

30 grand. We'll throw in a couple parking tickets for free. Yeah, just tantamount. You're here because you're the best, you're the best of the brightest. You're the best of the best, and we're going to train you to be excellent, and you're so you're so fucking smart that you're going to travel to the moon based on your smartness. It's going to turn into a rocket ship like the Green Lantern. You're so fucking smart.

But you're not able to follow parking instructions, so if you do it wrong, we need money. Oh sure. Yeah, we always need it. Can't you just tell me, can't you just explain it more better? No, we're gonna need, we're gonna need to find. That's, turns out all that other stuff was bullshit.

It's a, we still need, need just need a couple extra bucks. I get those suggestions on your video. Take back our future. Oh, that's because I watched that. That's my list. Do you think college is still worth going to? I mean, do you think it's okay? Okay, so the end, I don't know.

Look, you don't fucking think you're dick through the hole when you pee. Because the whole reason why you don't do that is because, A, if you have a zipper there, you risk scratching your fucking dick on the zipper. And that's not good. That's something you don't want to do be if you don't have a zipper there like the pants don't currently wearing uh... you're navigating a fucking maze to try and pull it out it's got to reach in and then wrap around and then round again and then around

like that's how many times you have to fucking wrap around to reach a dick which that's how many times you have to fucking wrap around to reach your dick, which that's not right now Now that's work while I bet this guy parks incorrectly a lot. Yeah, once you're a long-term thing like Fucking beating it off. That's what it's there for College of hell his problem Yeah, I'm trying to fucking get a piss out, just pull your fucking pants down. It's not a big deal.

Like butters. Jesus fucking Christ. Yeah, pants all the way down the urinal. This show has really taught me how the weird ways that people pee. Oh, yeah, like that in no contest, I never would have thought that was up for debate. Wait, what other weird ways is people pee. Oh, yeah. Like that in no contest, I never would have thought that was up for debate. Wait, what other weird ways is like talking,

I mean, there's is whether or not people pull their waistband over their dick and stick their dick through the hole or they stick their dick through the hole and put it through the shorts then, or they sit down, they just take all their pants off and sit down. When I feel like no one uses the hole in underwear, right?

What? You don't use the hole in your underwear. Why the fuck would you use no? You pull the waistband of your underpants down under your dick even if you have a fly. Yeah, are you fucking Mr. Fancy why you need your fancy pants to stay dry? You don't want them getting fucked up. Do you pull it under your balls? Well, it's not what you're talking about. You're talking about your dick and shying pre-added Boxers are boxer briefs. Yeah, no, there's no difference. It's a easy there has a fly or a dozen Well, they all have some sort of Also not true also not true. Astereos has underpants that have no fly really

Yes Oh, not true. Also not true. Asterios has underpants that have no fly. Really? Yes. Because the body sculpting, he talked about this in the bonus episode. It makes his body, it makes his hips look better or something. What? I sneak down. Don't want other people.

What do you do? Why, just said, I will pull him down. You pull the waistband down. Yeah. Under your, under your, dick or under your balls? Well, just dick. We don't under your dick or under your balls. Just dick, we don't go. So you leave your balls, so they're protected.

So you undo, if you have to take a piss that you're wearing jeans, and you're wearing your wearing boxes with a fly. So you, you undo your, I'm glad we're talking about that. You undo your belt, you undo your belt on your jeans, unbutton, zip down, and then you pull the top of the way span, of the way span. Wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute. then you pull the top of the way span of the way span.

Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Do you use the fly of your jeans? Or do you pull your jeans down under your dick as well? Well, you don't need to pull them down. The zipper comes down like well, okay. Yeah, but nothing is nothing is obvious with you because you're not using your ship and it would hold in your underpants. But the thing is so you leave the pants zipped up, so you leave the pants? Am I the only one? Zipped up it, or are you leave the pants buttoned, but unzipped? No, not buttoned. Okay, okay, okay.

Not, not okay. I was gonna say, then that's really weird. No, no, not buttoned. That would be fucked up. No, no, no. You pull, you open the fly of your jeans. Yeah. Then you reach in and you pull open the fly first.

I'd go butt in. You have to. You have to. You have to. You have to. You have to. You have to. You have to. You have to. You have to.

You have to. You have to. You have to. You have to. You have to. You have to. You have to. You have to.

You have to. You have to. You have to. You have to. You have to. You have to. You have to. You have to. You have to. You have to. You have to. I turn around four or five times. Don't fuck with me. It's your pants. No, so I'd come in, button first, zipper down.

Button! Undo the button. You undo the button of your jeans. Yeah. To piss. The thing that belt on? Yeah. Yeah, you undo the belt first. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no I'm dead serious. Okay, start over, start over. I need like a microwave instruction.

Every single component, like we're building a space shuttle. Because you've already left the belt out. You walk into the bathroom. Well, I don't know. I'm not an RNA belt, but if you're wearing a belt, you have to be careful. So you don't always wear a belt. No.

Why? Well, because it depends on the pants. No, it does not. It depends on the man. What if you have to let the sh- That's what it depends on. What if I whip the sh- out of some kid in a restaurant? Okay, because it depends on the pants. No, it does not. It depends on the man. What if you have to let it shit? That's what it depends on. What if you have to whip the shit out of some kid in a restaurant?

Okay, good point. Like that's the point. God damn, man. Yeah, if someone gets mouthy, I don't know. Well, you just, when gravity doesn't apply to you, you're not, your pants just don't creep down by inches all day. They get looser.

You don't need a belt. Not, not all pants. Were you wearing sweatpants? No, no, no, no. If the pants have belt holes, then't need a belt. Not not all pants. Were you wearing sweatpants? No, no, no. If the pants have belt holes, then they need a belt. That's what they're there for. It's suggested, yeah. No, it's not a suggestion, fancy pants.

It's it's a, yeah, some fancy pants. That's true. Man, this, this is going fast. So let's say, yes, he's done. He's done. Yeah, I do. So let's say you're wearing, let's say it's the off day of the month

where you're wearing a belt. Okay, okay. So you'd come in, you'd undo the belt. Okay. What? You like last year, you'd undo in the belt? Yes. Are you saying this all because?

Taking up his. It seems like the whole point for a fly. Are you saying because this is creating more work? It's creating more work is what? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like when did you, you know, go through the whole thing. Are you writing this down? Oh, yeah.

So you're, so you're Dodger Stadium. Yeah. They're in game. Oh, I wouldn't pee at Dodger Stadium. I'm not peeing into a trough with three. What if you have to piss? I just go in my seat. Don't joke.

It's serious. What if I would go in there and use it? Would you wait for this stall? No, no, no, I'd go in my seat. I'm just curious. What would I would go in their news? Would you wait for this stall? No, no, no, I'd go in their news. The truth. I just hate the truth. Yeah, because you were joking like you wouldn't do that. No, I would do it. I just absolutely hate them. Why? Oh, because they're like, I don't want to be shoulder to shoulder with a dude catching overspraining the ovis I'm trying. The overspraising problem. Yeah, okay. So if you were in this situation, you'd do belt. Belt? Yeah. With two other guys on either side of you,

you're just unashamedly undoing a belt to piss. Yeah, let them know I might hit them with it. And a line. A line and you're taking your pants off. You're taking off a three piece. But you're, okay, George could stand. But in the back. Okay, but you're assuming it George could stand in the back.

Okay, but you're assuming it's faster to use the fly, as you say it, right? Yeah, yeah. I feel like a lot of people get caught up in that process. Oh, what are you facing this off of? The collars. Yeah, like that. I obviously couldn't do a lot of stuff, but.

So you do the belt. Yeah. And then you do the button. Sure. And then you unzip. Yeah. And then you take your underpants and pull them down. Yeah.

Aren't you worried that you're a wallet and your keys and shit will pull your pants off? No. In a urinal situation? Aren't you worried about like some kid running behind you and pulling your pants down? What kind of pants are you wearing? That's my wallet. That's the issue, not the pants. You ain't got a fat wallet.

Yeah, oh, I have no money in mine, that helps. I carry around three palm pilots to any time to keep myself working out. Made of lead. Yeah, no wallet back pocket, that's not gonna cause a problem. It's not gonna make my pants fall. You're all weird. What do you do?

I have a little hole cut in all my right pockets, and I shift my pants around, and pull it out the pocket. Not that drill. Yeah, then I don't know how to do the belt or the flyer. And then you can play pocket breath. If you're just out somewhere. I did, I buy a lot of shorts, like retro shorts,

off of V-Beg. So they're short enough. Make it down the, and I did pick one up, and it's got like a hole in the pocket. And I hated, but I found myself like reaching around I did pick one up and it's got like a hole in the pocket. And I hated, but I found myself reaching around to just touch my cock.

I was like, man, I gotta sew this hole up. This isn't good. This is why clothes exist. Because temptation is too much. You hit on the best. I feel the heat. I gotta go investigate. The best peeing is when the shorts are short enough

and you can just snake it down. Yeah, but that's dangerous because then you got it is, but it's a ball pinching situation going, but it is. It's an adventure. Look, man, Mr. Fancy pants. Yeah. You got to change your wicked way. What you go pocket, you never go back. Don't listen to him.

He's a bad, he's the devil. Just try the fly. That's not a fly, man. I've tried it. I don't like it. him. He's a bad, he's the devil. Just try the fly. That's what I'm talking about. I've tried it, I don't like it. Why? He's scared, he's scared. Are you scared to get in here? Are you scared to get in here?

I probably got caught one time when you're good. No, no, I don't think so. Unless I've, maybe I blocked that out. Yeah. What are you scared of? A zipper. Don't answer for him. What are you?

No, I just, I just honestly think it's more work to end up doing it that way than you got your fight in half the.'s not let's we're gonna time you. It's not. I'm not doing that. I'm not getting the weird from turning. Why? What you're just saying you're just it's it's less time and that's enough for you. Well I'm not gonna sit there with a stopwatch. Why not? I'll do the stopwatch. I as soon as I hear a piss, I'll say go, and then as soon as I hear a piss hitting the water, I'll stop it.

But maybe he'll have performance anxiety because you're in the room. We'll do it like 10 times. Outside the door. You can hear outside the door. No, you need to be right up in there. Yeah. No, no, no, no, I can use my hearing aid.

Also, make sure he's not sitting because that would be cheating. Oh, sit. No, I'm not that quite that weird. Yeah, but taking your fucking belt off. I'm not taking it off. It's just I'm doing it. I'm not.

Mine is well-being. You might as well take it off. Take it off, put it around his neck. Yeah, oh, it's all such a good idea. Yeah, yeah, you should try it. How long have you been pissing like this? Well, it's not a recent development. I'd say, I don't know my whole life.

Your whole life? Oh, man. I'm looking at you in a weird new way. I know, right? Okay, let's see what else I got here. Man, I didn't expect to talk about this. Well, that's the unpredictable nature of, I know. What do you think everybody does it like you?

No, no, no, I don't think I just think it's... You think you've just like figured out a secret way to piss? It's a preference thing. I don't think like, oh my God, I've discovered the holy grail of pissing. He doesn't buy into big zipper. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, yeah. I'm not gonna be told how to do things. I'm gonna do things my own way. Yeah. Okay Whatever dude Are you doing one more? Yeah, yeah, two more two more. Oh good two more Did it show privilege me to let you know what makes me rage in the United States? Well, I think it's second-wise and third-wise. It's basically any wife that thought your first.

Everybody in one branch of my family is divorced, everything. What in my answer, I think, has had seven husbands. It's pretty funny It's gonna write I'll tell you this film for that turns out no wife no no wife says Great Or maybe I should say perfect Before they could be right, but

buddy I guess it's the ladies they could be fun. They could be great. Right. Uh, but um, I'm bloody, bloody. I encourage people to get drunk before I go again. I know. Okay. It turns downhill. Pretty fucking quick. I guess for anybody who's listening, who is,

to lose your, to lose your, to lose your nervous thinking, if a good idea to marry a divorcey. You're wrong. It's like 40. I love the long pause. Yeah, it does sound like Rick Rick. Yeah, you know, burp in between. Oh, I love that, guys, since a lot of stuff in. Let's see here. Oh, last one, last one. Nick, you've actually brought me to a point where, just because I've listened to your voice over the years from the biggest problem in this podcast, I'm actually to a point where

I can't stop being overly analytical about situations. Good. Just in general, right? Actually, no, that's not true. Typically, you can even get through that. Typically, that involves people. I'll look at a person and go, OK, so how does this person typically go to react in the situation? Where is that reaction coming from?

What is that going to result in? What can that potentially result in not saying I'm looking like a million steps in the future because I'm definitely not smart enough for that don't do that don't do it don't do it I can't just look at a person and go oh this person's not gonna fuck me over or oh this person is just generally this way or that way. I have to look at every fucking nuance of a situation only regarding people. And I just kind of break it down in my head. So, thank you. Yeah, you're welcome.

I'm not really sure what to say to that. Either way, enjoy the podcast, fucking keep rocking it. And after I'll be honest, I was hard on a stereo at first, but he don't want fucking keep a stereo from, man. Everybody comes around. Yeah, he's funny. I love a stereo. I thought he did a good job when you guys are debating

which time, most recently, with the tits in the army? Oh yeah. I've read a lot of different arguments on his side. He has the best. I got a hell of an email about that. I'm going to read it now. I was an anonymous guy. A couple of people wrote in.

Some guy who had access to army training materials on it, and he said he didn't want them posted, but he thought it might find them interesting. It was very fucking interesting. But this guy wrote in with no qualifiers. I thought I'd write in as if anybody cares since it's been a hot issue lately. The title was Trans in the Military. I'm in the closet about it. It really is an inescapable condition.

It permeates every aspect of your life. One reason I've never come out is because I know it wouldn't be enough. It's like saying, characters what you do in the dark, even if nobody else knows you were born with a penis, you always know, and that's enough. Even if you're lucky enough to find someone who accepts you for it, every time they call you their girlfriend or wife, it just rings hollow because you know the truth. Fuck man. I'm kind of inclined to agree that maybe the military isn't the place for us. I actually signed up for the military right out of high school fully intending to die overseas. That's a dark place to be.

Yeah. I wonder how many people sign up with that in mind. Too many probably. Or do they catch it? I was gonna say, how do you catch that? Like you can't catch it in your friends. People can't catch it in their family, man. I don't think that yeah.

I think an outside party can catch it more easily. No, I don't think they do a good job at all. If they're any people in law enforcement or the military or anything or anything. No. I think it's rampant in competence when it comes to mental health. Yeah, it seems kind of silly to me

that you can say we need to vet these people better to make sure mentally ill people don't buy guns. And then you can turn and say this kind of mentally ill person should be given a gun better than anything a civilian can buy and put in situations where other people's lives might depend on them. I wouldn't join any army that would take me knowing what I know about my mental health. There just aren't enough big, beautiful tits in the world to solve this one. I don't know.

Here's a much funnier one. This is the best email we've ever gotten. It's a bold statement. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Howdy Dick and Sean been listening to the show for ages. I had to stop for a while as I spent some time abroad with limited internet access. That's no excuse. Thankfully, I'm back in the USA and able to start listening again.

I just made it to episode 58, Dick on pumping gas That's no excuse. Thankfully, I'm back in the USA and able to start listening again. I just made it to episode 58, Dick on pumping gas, and was surprised to hear the erotic story. You remember that one? Yes. Which one? I think no, this is coming back to me. This is about the the artist girl.

Correct. Atist. The artist. My sister, the artist. My sister, the artist. The artist. Yeah, that's right. That's right. Right.

I am fairly certain that the autistic woman in the story was my cousin. I'm not going to say her name. She was from Brooklyn, had a brother who was your archetypal greaser and went to the school of visual arts for photography. This dude wrote in saying that he was autistic and he talked about banging this autistic woman for a long time. 20 minutes?

No, months, yeah. She had gone to college, but failed to function without her support system and moved back home. Next time I saw them at a family event, she was dating an Asian guy and really surprised my family with how outgoing she had become. So Kuro, the guy in the episode, now Kuro definitely exaggerated her level of autism and probably played up some of her issues, but there is no doubt in my mind that this

was my cousin he was talking about. Okay, so thank God. We didn't read an erotic story about someone plowing a mentally handicapped woman for months. Remember, we were debating that. Yeah. Well, he was talking about her drooling. Yeah.

He was making, he was playing it up. Yeah, sounds like it. he was playing it up. Yeah, it sounds like it. Not in a sexual context. Well, he was playing up both, but then he went over, he went a little overboard and made it sound like, like he was like making it, he was romanticizing traits that I wouldn't put on odds. Exaggerating stories is not what this show does.

Yeah, exactly, exactly. That's embarrassing. Let's see, there's no doubt in my mind that this was my cousin he was talking about. To him, it may have been all fucking, but to my family, we were grateful for him. She flourished under him, exclamation mark. I don't know if he meant under or not,

but that's what I'm taking it. Their relationships, using the wrong there, really helped her adapt and function well in society. She even started community college and finished two semesters. She died of an abdominal aneurysm. Oh. Well, that was in the story too.

He did say that, yeah, she died. Yeah. And he was really bummed out about it. She died of an abdominal aneurysm, which we were told was common in people with her type of autism, which we also said. Yeah in people with her type of autism. Okay. Also said. Yeah, but that to me, like not to get stuck on that point, that's a very strange thing. I didn't know that autism had any physical associated characteristics with it.

Yeah. And abdominal aneurysm. And that they just like sonic. I didn't know there was physical manifestations of it. I didn't even know that was a thing. No, I mean, that's it. I would like just, yeah, I own you pissed by taking your pants off. I didn't even know that was a thing of the novel. No, I mean, I would like just, yeah, you've pissed by taking your pants off.

So what do I know? I know. I would like to know more about that. Abdominal. Yeah, that there's like that in your room. Common in a certain type of autism. I've never heard anything like that. Me either.

Yeah. No wonder they're so aggressive about facts and stuff because they got limited time to prove you wrong. Autisms. I guess. Wow. I don't know. Anyway, no idea if this information is interesting in that it's very interesting, stuff because they got limited time to prove you wrong. Autisms, I guess. No, I don't know. Anyway, no idea if this information is interesting or not, it's very interesting.

But it brought a tear to my eye knowing that Chinky Bastard, and when he says, Damn it, was that quotes or parentheses? No, there's nothing. Asians can't be Jewish. Can they? That's crazy. Is that any Jewish? No, you should. No, you should. Look, anyone can convert, but they're not, it's really Jewish. No, you should look.

Anyone can convert, but they're not really going to accept you. Yeah. That's the, that's a little thing, you know, you got to be a cop. Oh, it's so cute. It's so cute. He converted. But it brought a tear to my eye, knowing that Chinky Bash, oh, I already read that part, was out there also listening to the Dixho love the podcast.

Maddox is a cuck-hale Trump and go fuck yourself. Oh, that's interesting isn't it? Yeah, it is. It's fucking hearing a neurotic story and it happens to be like, oh yeah, he's like, wait, wait a minute. Oh, I guess I'm drinking off. This one's from, oh boy, come on. Yeah, let's just see more in the bonus of it.

Yeah, I'm all I'm all I'm all talked about. All right guys. uh... let's just do more of the bonus yeah i'm all i'm all talk down alright guys