The Dick Show - Episode 69 - Dick on Dick

Episode Date: September 26, 2017

"What have you been up to?", soft water, the National Anthem and the un-skippable cut scene, defending a woman's honor, Mr. Fancypants does a bad job pitching his novel, Denzel songs, Asterios vs. Madcucks, the Dick Show calendar, life in low-definition, High School Musicals, Facebook News, Christian Ronaldo fighting muggers, Lacy's non-existent ideal man, and the crisis of leverage; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!

I'm so hung over I'm like FDR. Oh, really? Yeah, I get my jacket across my legs. I have polio. Like FDR? I'm so hung over at polio. Yeah. Presenting.

Oh. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah Yeah Welcome to dick you want diggin eat dig you love dig is a show where everything is a contest coming to you live From a mountain bunker deep in the heart of the city of failure. I'm your host, Dick Masterson, with me is always a shunt.

Hello, engineer, what's up, buddy? Can you wait for me to say that? Audio engineer, I'm gonna leave it longer and longer. Like that, yeah. It's uncomfortable. It's gonna be an hour, an hour of, yeah, and then 40 minutes of silence until I really bring it home with the audio engineer. Really get everyone's dick hard with that pause

because they know it's coming. Sure, yeah, that'll go over well. Here it comes. The first 20 minutes just blew by of pause. Waiting for dick to say the audio engineer. That's gonna be a live show in LA. Oh boy. There's two hours of pause.

It's gonna be like a shy-al-abuff slash resist art piece. Oh boy. There's two hours of pause. It's gonna be like a shyle buff slash resist art piece where it's just a long pause before I say the audio engine and then I'll stop and leave everybody's like oh no unfinished. Two in one. Two art pieces in one. He twisted it around. So unsatisfied. Joining us today is Mr. Fancy Pants. Say what's up, dude? Back again, tell us tales of weird pissing. Yeah. Yeah.

How you doing today, Mr. Fancy Pants? Not too bad, how about you? You're good. I'm not doing good, man. Not good hungover, like FDR. I'm relatively good. I'm an old, I need a shawl. I woke up today and I said, I need my drinking shawl and my drinking quilt.

I need one of those old yarni quilts, you know? Just a random. Yeah, and they're like all course. And they've got a tapestry and it's got a weave of buffalo and and trees, Christmas trees on it. That's what I need. Buffalo and Christmas trees. Yeah, for my, that's my drinking shawl

and my leg warming blanket. Just don't get to the drinking wheelchair. That's the, it's too far. Oh, no. I don't need that. Yeah. No. It depends.

What is it powered by? Regret? Probably. We just went to our 20th, 20th high school reunion. Yep, real fucking weird. I thought it'd be a lot funnier than it was. Was it, wasn't funny.

Wasn't funny. I had one goal, not to be the drunkest person there. Really? Didn't I? Wasn't that my goal not to look like the drunkest person there? Yeah. I said I might be the drunkest person there. Yeah.

Because I swiped a bunch, we got a bunch of drink tickets. We did. Mr. Fancy pants and I, we found the drink tickets. You know, when you're, when it's like a casino, Sean. Okay. When you're drinking with money, you can pace yourself. But when you're drinking with tickets, you have no idea how much you're drinking.

Like I either have tickets or I don't. Yeah. I don't know how much did you have to drink. I don't know. It must have been a responsible amount because I paid don't. Yeah. I don't know how much did you have to drink? I don't know. It must have been a responsible amount because I paid using tickets. Yeah. And I only have tickets. How many tickets could I possibly have?

How many could I have had? Money, I know how money works too much. Yeah. The ATMs there. Yeah. More comes out. Yeah. But we were there.

Well, we were there for about 20 minutes and some chick pressed out and launched herself into a shrubbery. Oh really? Yeah, nice and out. Well, there you go. I'm good for the rest of the night. I'm good for the rest of the night. I was nice, I can need to, I win.

Contest over. You can accomplish both. You could be both the drunkest person there and not look like the drunkest person. Well, that was my goal. Yeah, that's what I said I was gonna do. Yeah. Cause they were serving dinner at eight.

Yeah. And that meant one, Sean, one hour of dinner, two hours of dinner that you had an accounted for in your drinking schedule can fuck you all up. If you were going in, if you usually eat it like 5.30, like I do, or five, so I'm coming hot out of the gym and I'm fucking hungry. And I need to eat right now.

They need to eat right now, five, 30. Coming out hot, it's all the sudden you switch that up to eight, eight, 30. Oh, it might as well be another meal. Yeah. You can't, I can't, I can't do this math off the top of my head. You know what I'm saying?

Stangerous. It's a dangerous game they play these events. Yeah. It's a dangerous game to play for dinner. So he's here. Mr. Francis here and I'm not doing I'm not doing too good about it. Um, that I know what I will tell you what I will tell you what makes me rage about about I'll skip right to the right to the reunion rage. Okay. about, I'll skip right to the, right to the reunion, rage. Okay. What makes me rage is the question, so what have you been up to?

Yeah. Oh my God. Sum it up in one sentence. I thought, yeah. 20 years. Like, well, you know, a lot of people that I loved died and several were born. And I've also been reading about bitcoins. That's it. What the hell kind of question is that?

A hundred times to get Sean. Sound by universe we live in. What is it? Yeah, it's just. I mean, as soon as I don't know if people know that they're putting this curse on you, but I think that I think they want to take it back when they say it like, oh, man, I shouldn't have said that. So what have you been up to? What else do you say? Thinking a lot about the NFL, what do you mean? What have I been up to? Take there's the, the,

the infinity of possible things that could have happened between now and the last time you saw me. That's a lot of things Somewhere in that continuum. That was me. Well, give me some help here What have I been up to in regards to what work too much? Yeah, family too much Just choices of choices of my hair how I've been wearing my hair, still too much. That's like, oh, what? I guess you just don't have anything else to say to somebody who's, you know, it's like, you knew him 20 years ago.

What do you say? So what's new with you? Yeah. I don't know the entirety of my life. What do you mean what's new with me? It's been longer. It's the amount of time that has passed as long than the age

I was when we last saw each other. And effectively that age that I last saw you was like eight years old or six years old. Exactly. I don't remember anything from before I had pubes. I have maybe three memory from before I had hair on my balls. Yep, and I'm such an idiot. I answered at least two or three times. Like I say, mold. Yeah, equally worthless, unequally worthless conversation. The most worthless conversation anyone's ever had is Mr. Fancy bands with everybody. What have you been up to?

You know the huge, 20 years. The huge. What do you do for work? Who fucking, what? Is it just me? I feel like when, The use. What do you do for work? Who the fuck in care? Is it just me? I feel like when I feel like what? What other questions do you ask at those things? That's what I think it's always, it's like I don't know if I have anything in common

with you. You got any weird surgeries? That's what it should be. Very specific. Very specific. I like that. I like that. Very specific.

What's the worst blowjob you ever got? Right? Right, let's get right to the nitty gritty. It would make some conversations really interesting. At all. Possible. It would make them possible. What have you been up to?

That's something coach texts me when he hasn't talked to me for like three days. Yeah. What have you been up to? Oh, good. I've been reading about Title IX. Thank you very much. I've been writing some, I've been writing some jokes about being a time traveling drunk. That's what

I've been doing. Say that to somebody I haven't seen. What do you been, oh, what do you been up to writing some jokes? I've been having a lot of arguments with men about how they piss and their pants, whether it's over their waistband or through their fly. Thank you for playing this conversation with me. Here's your consolation prize, awkwardly walking away. I don't even mean to rip on people because I do it too, I'm sure. Yeah.

I do it too. It's when we're checked out. Oh no, it's a checked out autopilot. Autopilot. Easiest question you could possibly ask somebody. And when I hear it. And just say it without thinking. Yeah, you somebody. And when I hear it, just say it without thinking. Yeah, you do.

And when I hear it, I feel like when I hear that question, so what have you been up to? And I get that sinking feeling in my stomach, like, oh man, I gotta go take this to my boss in my brain. And I gotta show him what you just asked for conversation. He's not gonna like it. That's what every interaction with I have with somebody. I feel like I'm doing the guy from office space.

Oh boy, I gotta take your question to the man upstairs. He's in a bad mood. He's been in a bad mood since he started growing hair on his balls. He's been in a bad mood for 24 years. Now, how tempted are you to lie? I didn't hear you really make anything up from, maybe it didn't, I wasn't around, but.

I think I'm just gonna do that. Well, still, still because it's plausible then. And now I'm like, doing a comedy routine for somebody that I know isn't even paying attention. Like, yeah, I could just lie. No, I fly, I fly fucking drones for ice. That's what I tell the most controversial person, like actually I do it for free.

I set up, I have a hobby organization where we all these hobbyists have drones and we dedicate our drone time to scouring the fucking border. And then we call, I said, like what are you, that's a possible answer. And then what, I was kidding, that never works. Just joking, no one has ever believed that. Fucking reunion, man.

I thought it was kind of what I expected. Oh, really? Well, I mean, you know, I didn't exactly know what to expect, but I assumed it was going to be kind of. Oh my God. Businesses, you know what was weird? The people, here this is weird too. The kids who were like a year older than us in high school, I still looked at them and then I think,

oh, that guy's older than me. Yeah, can't talk to them. I can't talk to those guys, because they're, and then I'm sitting like wait a minute This is 20 fucking my best friends are like five. I don't even know how old they are I don't know when they're I don't know when they're birthday is they can be fucking 40 I don't know it. Yeah, I don't know how old anybody is well, and I look at this asshole I think oh, that's the cool kids over there. What the fucking cool kids? Yeah, and they don't even look this

They just look they look look fattish. Everybody looks fattish shit, by the way. Well, I would imagine there's some hilarious aging going on. Oh, I mean, waiting. It's the waiting. Yeah, not fat enough though. Oh, gotcha. Just a little bit fat.

Gotcha. Not fat enough. Not fat enough. I brought up to Mr. Fancy pants earlier that you guys went to a school, you guys went to the brand new school. They had just built it and it opened with only freshman and sophomore.

Yeah. You had no upper class men. So that was weird because like me, like most other people, you go in and you're freshmen. There's three grades above you. So you guys, and I know you're the sophomore class that opened was like really, really small, right? So you guys were almost like the leading,

you were just about the oldest. We were forced to pull each other. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It was tough. We would swap, who got to be the senior that day. And they would walk around slapping everyone's penis. Yeah. It was a weird school to grow up in.

We did a little, we reenacted that last night. Just for memories, sake. That was weird, this guy. Guys older than you, oh, the cool kids. Yeah. What the hell are you talking about, man? You fall right back into those same things though, even though it's been 20 years, you know, it's like,

oh, okay. Yeah, you know what else I did? I so I did, I went back, some high school shit top of the show, I guess. I don't know, listening to high school stories is probably painful for everybody, but I'm trying to make this one interesting, because I thought it was interesting. I did the school announcements when I was a teenager. Really, really loved doing them.

Going on TV, doing the fucking announcements, like, oh, it's 20 years, somebody doing the committee said, well, it's 20 year thing, kind of a, I don't know, some people really are really into it. They really like celebrating it. They really, there's like alumni committees for this reason, right? Some people are into it. That's what gets their dick hard.

You can always tell who those fuckers are, tradition. If you get an email or something and you see somebody's name, you're like, oh yeah, that motherfucker would be into this. Yeah, good for them. It's cool. That's cool. I liked it. motherfucker would be into this. Yeah, good for them, it's cool. It's cool, I liked it. I had a good time.

Did you have a good time? Yeah, because I, like, I don't remember until I was there, these people that I would be with every single day forever, and then like I just hadn't thought about them, and probably, I was going to thinking, ah, it's not gonna be stupid. Me and Mr. Fancy pants will walk around, we'll get too drunk, but then I would, every person, I'd see, I like, was going to thinking, ah, it's not gonna be stupid. Me and Mr. Fancy pants will walk around, we'll get too drunk.

But then I would, every person, I'd see, I like, oh my fucking God, how much time do I spend with you? And there's, no, I have no idea what you're doing. What have you been up to? Yeah. Damn it. And I want to kill myself.

I'm sorry, I'm sorry, you don't have to answer that. Yeah. Stupid question, I don't know. Now I'm glad there's people that plan those things because I'm not, I'm sorry, you don't have to answer that. It's a stupid question, I don't know. Now I'm glad there's people that plan those things because I'm not that person. So it would never happen if it was up to me. Anyway, they said, hey, come back and do the announcements for the 20 year thing.

I'm gonna TV today and do the announcements. I'm thinking, yeah, cool, why not? What is this like a scared straight moment? Yes, is you. This was 20 years. This is as if people, my mom was asking, oh, are you gonna be nervous? And I'm like, no, cause I'm,

it's gonna be their fucking dad on TV. Cause there's zero chance of it going well. Cause I'm a fucking old man on television. Don't worry, I'm not worried about looking like they're goddamn dad on TV. Nothing to worry about. Cause it can't possibly go well, right? So we go and sure enough, everything's like new.

Dude, it's, we go and there's a little break and there's a rally going on. I go, okay, come check out the rally and then you'll do the announcements afterwards. Like a pep rally, right? I remember these things. They were, it was, when I, when I'm back in my day, it was just me with them,

it was me with a microphone, talking to the auditorium, right? Just doing bullshit. Like, oh, we're gonna kick the shit out of these guys. Football, yeah. Take it to them, pushups. I'm gonna do one pushup for every game that we win this weekend, this football game, right?

That was a rally, just one guy in a lit auditorium. I go in there, Sean, it looks like a fucking Vegas show. There's like six, there's six like choreographed dance. It looks like high school musical. And I'm thinking, is this like, I thought high school musical was a joke. Like, I thought that was like a great, oh, I looked at it and said that doesn't happen.

That's not the way high school is. High school is full of weird losers like me. That's not what high school is, but it is not what high school is. Everyone is cool. And they're all doing choreographed dances, like a fucking musical Everybody's dancing it'll there's a video village for God's sakes. There was a drum off We walked in there was a kid was like an electric drum kid and some other kids doing these drums

I don't remember anybody being able to do this shit when I was in high school. No No Watch in it's like like America's got talent for an hour watching these kids bounce and tumble around like they're at the goddamn Olympics. Every six spinning, spinning, choreographed backwards spins and jumping and all this applause and positivity.

And I'm thinking, what the fuck is this shit? Ars was usually like cheerleaders dropping each other. Yeah, and then we'd laugh. Good times. You know, and we'd root for it. You'd watch it like a NASCAR event. That's interesting. Wanting them to fail.

Like, oh, come on, drop. I see that fat one on the fan. Somebody dropped. There's no way they're gonna toss her. Ah, sure enough. She just gave a little, you know. Yeah. Although someone brought up that they enjoyed

your, your aceman term impression. They brought that again. I don't wanna talk about a world shit. Come on, Mr. Fancy, Pants, I'm talking about a rally. Okay. Hmm. Unbelievable. There was a dance squad that had three guys on it.

Mm-hm. They were the, oh, Sean. Not progressive. They, oh man, they were, those gentlemen were very progressive. Were they? Yeah. Yeah. It was great. Yeah. It's like, what the hell is this? What in the hell is this?

I've never been, I'm too stimulated. I've got to leave. This is too much for me. It's too much for me. So I went back and did the old man announcements? Yeah. It was fucking weird. We immediately fucked up. Me and another alumni did it. and did the old man announcements. Yeah. It was fucking weird. We immediately fucked up.

Me and another alumni did it. They started, we looked at the wrong camera. I can't help but. All right, we quit. See, yeah. Then you have them, it's a multi-camera shoot for the morning analysis. Yes.

What I was gonna say, that was, I remember what you guys had, that's the closed circuit shit. And see, the high school that I went to, was the white trash, poor Mexican high school. That's what lived on the one speaker in the center of the center. Oh yeah, yeah, there was, I was like, it's got, call it like,

the name of the high school TV. It was like, oh, yeah, you're on, this was like, they didn't have that shit. That was new fangled shit, man. No, I remember people giving us crap about it because I was like, oh yeah, we have video announcements. No, you know like, they didn't have that shit. That was new fangled shit, man. No, I remember people giving us crap about it because I was like, oh yeah, we have video announcements. They were like, no, you know what we had? And then we started the announcements off

with this tribute video, this 20 year old video. Oh yeah. And it's all in like low death out of like a VHS. And I looked at it and I felt low death. It was like, what, like it was like watching like all these baggy white shirts. Yeah, man, you're blurry. You are shit.

You are low resolution. And these kids are all high resolution. I regret this immediately. I need to go back into my low death. I need to go back into pixelated world. I need to go back into pixelated world where you can't see people's eyes. Yeah. You know?

Yeah. Wherever you can't tell where their skin ends and the sky begins. I felt low death. It was weird. Multi-camera stuff. It's a tribute they're talking about payphones and they're like, how do you fucking get?

The tribute's going and it's like, oh, and we were here. There was payphones. And sure enough, there's a shot of us using the fucking payphones and they're like, how do you fucking kid? The tribute's going and it's like, oh and we were here, there was payphones. And sure enough, there's a shot of us using the fucking payphones and the kids start laughing. The point and I go, look, check that out. There's payphones right there. We're now where our hologram dispensing pills are.

I'm like, god damn it. We're hiked up those wooden underwear, grandpa. Yeah, it's like, this isn't that funny. It's not that funny. The payphones are not that funny, grandpa? Yeah, it's like, this isn't that funny. It's not that funny. The payphones are not that funny. Don't worry about it. And then we immediately fucked up. Yeah, this is, I really, once again,

I've done something that makes me feel bad about myself. It's fun times, though. Did the new kid give you any pointers? Like, you know, the ones doing it now? No. No, okay. No. I mean, just like the pointers. They're not even looking at the pointers. Look at their phones.

The pointers of how not to fuck up. Like don't look at the wrong camera, which we immediately did. Yeah. Like, well, all right, man. Okay, sorry guys. And then they're all losing their minds behind the camera. Bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, pointing at this one.

I actually, I didn't fuck it up. It was the guy who was doing it with the heat fuck thing. Oh, yeah, of course. I was like, man, don't you see? Don't you see what they're fucking doing over there with the pointing? When people are freaking out, you know, take a minute. Yeah, pause.

Make the whole school wait, fuck them. That's what we should have done. Oh, you know what? Fuck, hey, here's number one, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck. Until they shut it down. That's what we should have done. No, are they gonna do a rest, that's true. What's wrong? Probably. Send a straight to jail. You're like, what are they gonna do? Oh yeah Now, are they gonna do a rest, that's true. What time?

Maybe. Send a straight to jail. What are they gonna do? Oh yeah. What are they gonna do? What are they gonna do? A rest means, says guy getting arrested. So what time were these?

These are the morning announcements, right? I'm pretty impressed if you got up and, oh, we're up right. Well, I thought it was gonna be like this show where when people are here, they just kind of roll in and expect to go immediately. They told me it was 8.30, but they didn't actually start until 10. Oh.

Yeah. Is that the normal time for, I don't know, morning announcements these days? I don't know. I don't know. I don't even think they were being broadcast. I think they just set up a camera as a joke, put a play on some old guys, some old people, who stumbled in, looking like hell.

That was the weirdest thing too, having to wake up early to go to school and feeling like fucking death. Yeah. Like, I'm looking in the mirror. Oh my God, I've never looked more hideous than this. How the hell did we? How did we do this? How do we have even an ounce of self esteem going our started really early? It did start really 730 or something. Oh, all right. Well, that's the end of that's the end of high school. I'm talking about high school,

I guess. I tell you, does not make me rage. This is cold jacket season. See here? How about that? Yeah. Oh, baby. Yeah. Time to break out that jacket.

Yeah. Yeah. Break out that jacket. It'll be like a week, though. And then it'll be a hundred and something again. Oh, it's always, it's not, no. Not for me. It's as soon as the temperature changes.

One time, it's permanently cold i don't care if it goes i don't care if it gets back up to a million in december smart once it crosses below once it hits sixty five it's fucking winter yeah that's it by by the way jeans and it has i got that got my god damn jackets man maybe. Maybe this is a Southern California thing, but I imagine in the northern places, it's the opposite, where it's like summer. When summer hits, you know, it's like a tease for summer, that the tease of the season change.

And I can finally, finally break the glass and wear that jacket and those. Feel like a new guy. I get to put on my new, my other cartoon clothes. No wife beaters for me now. Now it's all like a respectable man. Those are two options. Shoes, wife beaters and extremely short shorts. This is my summer wear.

Is my dick master's in summer figure wear with action drinking action. Yeah. Right. Or check out Nightstalker dick master said with jeans and a t-shirt jacket. Right. A little Irishman had a had a rage that I might bring in. Oh really?

Yeah. He's learning. Yeah, I went to see the Ninjago movie with him. You know, that Lego one. Yeah, went to see it with him on Friday. Any good comes out. No, it's a kids movie. Okay. How good could it be? Yeah. Kids movie for kids. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. It's not Rick and Morty. Yeah. It's kids movie for kids. Turns out it doesn't have to be for everybody. You know, they got it. It's one of those where like,

not they throwing some jokes for the adults, it's a kids movie. Don't throw in the jokes for the adults. Don't insult us. Just make it a kids movie. All right. You know what, actually it pissed me off too. Yet again, it's another movie written about how shitty dads are. Here we go. There we go.

There we go. Yeah, I don't know anything about it. Dude, the bad guy is like a Darth Vader situation where the bad guy is the main good guy's dad. Okay. And he's a total prick. And then the whole fucking movie, it's about how he's an absentee dad and he made his kids life hell. And the mom the whole fucking movie. It's about how he's an absentee dad, and he made his kids life hell.

And the mom is like a saint. And she's just always there working, working and doing her hair. So it's just not quite perfect, right? Uh-huh. Doing her best. And the dad is just so self-absorbed with his plans for evil. Uh-huh.

They they they they they still married at this time? No, no, they're separated. I don't know if they ever got married. Yeah, like, he's like absentee, dad, right? Absentee, the whole fucking movie, it's hammering this on him about dads and bull, just bullshit. I wanna see a movie, you know what?

I wanna see a movie where it's, where it's the mom. That was abs, that was the absentee. Yeah. Is that exist? Actually, I don't wanna see that movie where it's where it's the mom. That was abs that was the absentee. Yeah. Does that exist? Actually, I don't want to see that movie. I don't know. That movie that would be a terrible movie. That would be a fucking terrible movie.

I don't want to see that movie. I'm so tired of getting, of hearing dad's shit on. And it was already rant about, but it's all like, this is all like, all fucking Lego movies do. It's like, find a shitty dad. Hmm. Lego movies need to This is finding a shitty dad. Lego movies need to go on Mori. I found them, I found the formula, I think.

I guess, man, but the Irishman walks out and goes, you know, you know what I don't like is there were scenes in the preview that weren't in the movie. Oh, yeah. Good observation movie. Oh, good observation. That's a good observation. That's a good observation. That happens a lot. They really built up your expectations, huh?

And then you can't get it out of your mind. I'm like, yeah, you couldn't get it out of you. You got a sinking feeling the whole time. That's a right of passage. Yeah. That's a right of passage when you realize, when you, when you, when the first time you realize that you got lied to by the entertainment

industry, yeah, that you got fucked and you can't get, and you can't get rid of it. There's no recourse. No. And, and what's even worse is you're going to keep doing it. Yeah. And the movie that you had in your head that fit those scenes would have been way better than the one they, they ended up giving, shoving down your throat. Yeah. You're right, man.

There were preview scenes that were not in the movie. Sounds like he was really into seeing that movie. Yeah. He's really excited, because he obviously paid attention to the trailers. Oh, yeah. You know what, he's not 10,000 times. They've seen that fucking thing.

Yeah. Yeah. Let's see here. I got some songs. I got, man, I got a lot of shitload of goss. Is that right? It's a busy show. You got a lot to do.

It's a busy show today. Stereos and Madcooks are really clawing at each other. Why are they doing this? I don't know. They got all pissed off at each other. Housen crews is trying to find that out, but. So they were throwing barbs or whatever, and then one person took it seriously,

and this is what it sounds. I mean, it's what I'm guessing, I don't know. And then, so now it's just a war. Yeah, and now they're just non-stop. Oh, no, man. They won't back off. Hmm. Oh, man.

Such energy. You know, I found out, too, so I always try to save the links that Coach sends me. Yeah. Because they're usually the very educational. He's my filter. He's my news source, he's my drudge. Yeah. I read this today.

So you know all the kneeling, the NFL kneeling is going on, right? The protesting protests. But no one better kneel at the Yav, the start of the show, by the way. We get, well, big problems if that happens. So I read that, I read that before 2009, the players wouldn't even come onto the field.

I think it was. Let me find the, let me find the stats for you. Yeah, before 2009, the players stayed in the locker room. For the National Fell. I didn't know that. Yeah, that recently. Yeah. So we didn't, growing fell. I didn't know that. Yeah. That recently. Yeah. So we didn't, growing up, we wouldn't even have seen them. I had no idea. They wouldn't have the had the opportunity to approach us and then they got brought out

because it helped ratings. They said, like patriotism helped football for obvious reasons. Sure. Right. So they started it. They, this whole shit about respecting the flag or whatnot was just a marketing, it was just a marketing ploy, right? And then it turns out that the Department of Defense and the National Guard pay like a collective 12 million bucks to the NFL for like patriotism displays during the game.

Well, baseball does it. They bring out a hero every game or what, you know, it's like someone in the military or today's featured. Yeah. Yeah. I'm sure that the armed forces spend a lot of money. They have to make a lot of money. That was interesting. Yeah. That is interesting. I think the whole thing is kind of stupid. That is interesting. I didn't know that that was the case in football that recently. I think that's true in everything though. Like everything you think is stupid.

Like the prompt, too, is not. Yeah. Like you're like, oh, they're just doing this out of the good, into their heart and out there. Whoa, no, no, I don't think that. Yeah. What am I on the other yet? Yeah.

I wish, I wish wish I would like less. I don't this might be an unpopular thing to say. Probably, but I could I could do without the anthem at every single fucking sporting event. I don't know. I don't know if that's anybody else, but to me, I have always not liked the, okay, everybody be real, everybody act like you're in church while someone sings this song. I could agree more. Everybody sits there and does what? Like what, what are you thinking about while this is going on?

You're not thinking about the things that you're not supposed to be talking about. What are you, what the fuck are we thinking about what the fucking anthem And people aren't at home standing up in front of their television doing it. Are they? Very few. I mean what the fuck is the point of it? Why? What is why is it why isn't it become possible just to Opt out of this thing as a protest. Why is it even this fucking important?

It's a football game. It's a fucking baseball game. It's school. And you got a school and you got a stand there? Why? There's just things that we do to keep ourselves distracted from like actual real complex issues that actually take some thought.

Always has to be on that. That it's a thing. Yeah, we're all just, we're gonna stand there. Yeah, we all just do this. There's these little like, these little rituals that we do. When they did that in baseball, they got rid of the seventh thinning stretch that take me out to the ballgame song and changed it to like God bless America for. It's been going on for a while.

You know what? There should be, there should just be some kind of anthem between every inning. Well, in the playoffs or televised games, right? Yeah. What did they do? They changed it to like rather than, well, actually, they started doing both. They used to just do, you know, take me out to the ballgame and then they changed it to God bless America after 9-11.

Oh, I think we sang Take Me Out to the Ballgame today. Yeah, you know, God bless America. I think it's gone back. I think it's gone, but for a while. Like a fun know, I was the mayor. I think it's gone back. I think it's gone, but for a while. Like a fun time, like a fun, like a fun fucking evening. Is this just, is it just a, other country, like other countries, anthems are drinking songs, aren't they?

I think ours was too. Well, we think, I mean, I think the music, I think came from like a, like an, like an English sort of drinking song, and then they changed it. I think, well, it's Francis Scott Key's lyrics as far as I know, but to be all patriotic, somebody check me on that. The melody I do not think is anywhere near original.

Yeah, and they show the president being all stoic, crying, pretending to cry. What are you thinking about? Yeah. What are you guys so reverently thinking about? During a fucking, don't know. When they can sit down, I guess. Yeah.

I thought that was interesting. Yeah, I had no idea. They made it a big deal. Because I was wondering, like, why is this a, was it always like, why is this a big deal? Why did they give them the ability to mess around like this on their TV? Oh, because it was good for business, and now it's not.

Not. I mean, it sounds like a little bit of dough is the answer for this one. Maybe put it in the contract. Hey, we'll give 50, we'll give 20 grand to your favorite charity. If you just stand for the national anthem, because we're an entertainment product,

and it's good for business. So that's what we're doing from now on. Of course, we assume you were gonna stand anyway, but this is just, this is just so, you know, you got all these goddamn problems. You just, here's some money for you to fix, for you to try to fix them instead of nothing, instead of just statements upon statements

upon statements of nothing, of jack shit. You got a problem, you guys got a problem? Well, what should we do? Gotta keep telling you about the problem. Well, what, I'm interested, what? Cause it's all I hear about. So tell me, please, God, tell me what you want me to do

so this can go away. What do you, how much do you want? What do you, not nothing. Just, just being, just awareness. Okay. Okay. Great, so we'll never stop hearing about it. Ah, let me see here. It's here I saw it.

I got a ton of songs to get through today. I got some corrections too. Did I tell you about the, I think I already listed these about the Tango. Did I tell you about that? Tango. Yeah, the one you was talking about, Tango. Ah, yes. I think I might have told you about that? Tango. Yeah, the one you was talking about, Tango.

Uh, yes. I think I might have told you about that. Let me see here. Denzel called in. You remember and talked about his terrible dating experiences. Yeah, yeah. So, safe state corrupted had to pause the episode to write a song about it.

Yeah. There you go. Fuckin disaster story for the ladies! Fuck you, sis! Ow! But how can I stop you this week and fuck you this guy? This is the screen and I don't want to flurate you So you're not supposed to touch us, just like! There's no surefire way to a girl's hands But to keep you shawnt in all of us You see this shit you do

And this shit you've done doesn't fucking work Right? I start with moving those dating ass fire at you. You really appreciate it? Not a choreo of what we've heard. You're giving it down! I just want to see you succeed! Even if you want to move in to corner first,

you gotta take care of what you really need! You gotta show the ghost something fucking bad! Trust me,. I'm not sure that those are fucking bad. Trust me, so I'm falling out of tune. I'm one of those. I'm one of those. I'm one of those. I'm one of those. I'm one of those.

I'm one of those. I'm one of those. I'm one of those. I'm one of those. I'm one of those. I'm one of those. I'm one of those. I'm one of those.

I'm one of those. I'm one of those. I'm one of those. I'm one of those. I'm one of those. I'm one of those. I'm one of too. I believe him. Oh, god damn it, Denzel. I don't need this FDR, Blaine. You know, I was hoping, warming up now. Yeah, I'm burning up now. I was hoping that he'd get a friend of a friend maybe to come to the show and date him. Yeah.

But I think maybe, I think the make in the Girl Cry story, I'd have chased it. I think how do you set somebody up with that and with knowing that? Well, right? What are the odds of it happening twice? Yeah, let's see. I get another song. I get a bunch of songs about you. Sean.

Wonderful. It's called Sean Love. Sean, you're the most handsome Miss Man in the world I wish that I was a girl Or the cheer will get you That way You could be inside of me Show me the most inside of my life I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. I'm smoking her. Ha ha. I'm smoking her. I'm smoking her. I'm smoking her. I'm smoking her. I'm smoking her. I'm smoking her. I'm smoking her. I'm smoking her.

I'm smoking her. I'm smoking her. I'm smoking her. I'm smoking her. I'm smoking her. I'm smoking her. I'm smoking her. I'm smoking her.

I'm smoking her. I'm smoking her. I'm smoking her. I'm smoking her. I'm smoking her. I'm smoking her. I'm smoking her. I'm smoking her. What the fuck is going on? All right. That's enough. I'll put that up on his face. That's enough. If anybody wants to see it.

Okay. Let's see. You want to hear some hysterios bits? Asterios did Tom Phillips. Video game bits. You want to hear some nice? Yeah. I haven't heard of that.

Wait, wait, wait. Tom Phillips is from Asterios? Did you know that? I've had no idea. You didn't know why he was mysterious. I think could never have told that that was... That's a piece. Last week saw the long awaited sequel to Destiny entitled Dustini.

In it, you play a talking microphone stand on a quest to find an even shittier buzz cut. In a real professional comedians, Earth's the suicidal to call into a comedy show. And do an excellent job videotaping a live show despite having the stage presence of a strung out e-worn. I'm just kidding, Justin. These are just jokes and you're a great guy. Please don't sit me 20 emails after this. Okay, he's no more one for you.

John's dong edition. Oh my god. Tom Phillips did one. You know, I told Dustin. one for you. John's Don edition. Oh my God. Tom Phillips did one. You know, I told Dustin, where have you told Dustin? Yeah, I did. I told him that I told him that I would fly him to the LA road rage if he could get Reddit to let him back on the show.

But he stopped, he doesn't pitch them anything. So that's still the deal. Yeah, I need to have something Reddit deal. Yeah, and he's to have something read it approved. Yeah, I even added, I even added some sweeten the pot. Yeah, he's tried to sweeten the deal, but it was still a no go. Ugh. Still like, or he didn't get it,

he hasn't got it going so he's got time. He's got, right? Life show is until October 13th, by tickets, I think it's almost sold out. He has like a family and stuff, doesn't it? I mean, I think, hey, man, that's all the more reason to get on a plane and just get the hell out. He could come out here. He could get some headshots. And he gets, he could start a new life. He could start over. He could be one of those guys that has two families. Yeah. He could come here and have a hot young actress.

Life started a new new family here and then go back home to his sales job. Guys did that. Could you could you imagine how much work it would take to have to be one of those guys with two families. Man. Right. Yeah, really, it existed. I know it existed because I saw a quantum leap episode about it and I assumed they did their research. I'm sure they did. Yeah, very back to what I was talking about.

Talk about effort. I can barely remember my own birthday. And you gotta remember both sets of kids. I feel like it's so hard. Well, that's why you have to read redundant names. You just named them both the same. Smart. At least a couple of them. At least a couple of kids. Well, that's why you have to redundant names. You just name them both the same. Smart. At least a couple of them.

At least a couple of them. Well, you know, no, that's an old texting trick. Yeah. When you're talking to, actually, shit, this is an old aim trick. Back in the days of AOL instant messenger, when you're talking to a couple girls, you try to, you try to get them both on the same conversation.

So you can just respond to the wrong one. No, and it's half the work. So you can start, like you can kick off the conversation and then you can just cut and paste like pieces of your, your answer back and forth. Yeah, make it work, make it work for you. Work smart. Work smart, not hard, exactly. You know, you're not, it's either funny or it's not.

Right? Different audience. Test your material on a different audience. Anyway, yeah. I guess that is the key. Name the kids the same. Yeah. Name the, get the wife to change your name.

How do they do it? I'd love to know somebody who did it. Yeah. Get the scoop. I'll bet that I'll bet a someone we'll call in with either someone's dad who did that. Yeah, or they knew someone who it's like found out they had, you know, found out he was a long distance trucker. He had a family. He had a West Coast family and an East Coast family. Yeah, something like that. Something like that. Yeah. God, Something like that. Something like that. Something like that. Something like that. Something like that. Something like that. Something like that. Something like that. Something like that. Something like that. Something like that. Something like that. Something like that. Something like that. Something like that. Something like that. Something like that. Something like that. Something like that. Something like that. Something like that. Something like that. Something like that. Something like that. Something like that. Something like that. Something like that. Something like that. Something like that. Something like that. Something like that. Something like that. Something like that. Something like that. Something like that. Something like that. Something like that. Something like that. Something like that. Something like that. Something like that. Something like that. Something like that. Something like that. Something like that. Something like that. Something like that. Something like that. Something like that. Something like that. Something like that.

Something like that. Something like that. Something like that. Something like that. Something like that. Something like that. Something like that. Something like that. Something like that. Something like that. Something like that. Something like that. Something like that. Something like that.

Something like that. Something like that. Something like that. Something like that. Something like that. Something like that. Something like A classic sports sim gets a great new update with Madden 17. Sean's Dawn edition plays any of these highly political teams. Alex Jones' new traffic nation and cultures relevancy clangers. Bill Clinton is a rapist called the team. These teams and more will face the sexy v-next donors of Sean's Dawn, who despite taking a pounding last season, planned to come bigger and harder than ever before. Oh,

oh, oh, oh, you know what else makes me rage? Tom Phillips is a stereos? Yeah, you didn't know that. Yeah, I totally knew that. You know that LaCroix,

water, shit, um, yeah, LaCroix, water. Yeah. Have you ever had to drink that swill? No. Sean, it's, it Roy Water. Yeah. Have you ever had to drink that swill?

No. Sean, it's, it's the most disgusting water on the planet. Is it just like, RO Water? Um, what? Like, reverse osmosis water is just filtered water. It is. We're throwing around terms like, because that's what, that's what the name is for water. What do you like, a water-la-jurge?

Yeah. No, that's just what it, it's reverse osmosis. What's that? They force it through little, you know, like membrane. Oh my, get it down to like the smallest little particulates out of there. No. That's what it tastes so shitty. Let me tell you, let me tell you something, let me tell you that something that's

fucking seriously makes me rage that I do not want to forget because I took a shower. I took a shower at my fucking parents house. Yeah, I know that's going on. See, soft water filters, man. Oh, there is nothing, dude. There is not all that pile up all the nerve gas and biological weapons on one side of the scale of things we wish we get uninvent and put soft water filtering

on the other side. The fucking soft water filter has got to go. It's got a totally ruined showers. Do they still have one of the old ones with the salt or that you're not allowed to have anymore that probably worked pretty well? That my dad probably found outside of a home depot and just loaded it into the back of my old truck that my dad has painted with chalk paint. Really?

This is, I go home for one goddamn night, and it's pure insanity. And I open, opening their front doors, like opening the box, Pandora's box. We're just crazy, and yeah, my dad took my old truck that I had in high school, and he painted it, chalk with chalk paint. Was there like a bigger plan for this?

I mean, was he? I have no idea. I don't know what it is. I just wanted to spice things. I wanted to drive. What is chalk paint. Was there like a bigger plan for this? I mean, was he? I have no idea. I don't know what it is. I just wanted to spice things up. I wanted to draw it. What is chalk paint? It's chalk paint is this paint that you put on surfaces and then they turn into a chalk board.

It's chalk board, yeah. You can make, you can draw with chalk on them. Yeah, it's real. So how many penises did you put on it? Well, then I saw I said, why did he do that? I don't know. So I said, okay, cool.

So can I black? Yeah. The original color was black. Yeah, it was black. It was shining more matte, bro. But now it's like black. I would imagine so. Chalk paint.

I thought, okay, so what do you just like want to do a bunch of Jesus murals on it and chalk? Like is this the idea to just do it on it with chalk? And then you wash it off and you go, oh, actually no, the chalk won't wash off now. So what if you just painted the whole truck with chalk paint? Well, and why won't it? What, I mean, isn't it the whole point?

I didn't ask. I didn't ask. That's what's going, that was what I was walking into. That's what I'm walking into a world where my father has painted my old car with the children's paint, with truck paint, for what, I don't even know if I want to know the reason. Maybe the water's too soft to wash it off. Though I think the water's making a lot of things soft.

I got that, I go home and my dad's showing me the truck paint job he did on the car. I'm thinking this took, this obviously took a lot of work for what the fuck was the point of this? There's now, now that we've got a truck car. And you can't put a truck on it. And that cannot be drawn on with a truck. I guess I'm assuming, I assume you try.

Number two. This is a little Irishman though. He's not allowed to do that. I don't know. I hope not. Could be funny. I hope not, man, because that guy, I went out to dinner with them that night.

This night, I went home for the reunion, right? So I get a lot of famished shit. We're out at dinner with the little kids, the Irishman, his little brother, little blonde, little blonde bam-bam, little fucker, it's hard. He's got his little brother, he's two years old and he will really pack a wallop, right? That kid hits, that kid hits like he wants it to connect.

When he's, you see it in his eyes, the Irishman's little brother, BamBam. When he swings, he thinks that he's gonna knock the head off of whatever he's hitting. And he's always, every, and he's, you see when he connects, he's confused that the head didn't fly completely off. And he wants to work harder to get it to do that. Yeah, he's like, well, maybe if I'm angrier, when I hit, he's confused that the head didn't fly completely off. And he wants to work harder to get it to do that.

Yeah, he's like, well, maybe if I'm angrier, when I hit, he'll grab, anything that you can grab in wield as a thing to bash with, he will do that with. He'll pick up foam rollers like a cable and then walk over and put all his effort into cracking it across your head. So it's what he does, what he likes to do.

Perfect, so he's a hobby. He's a bachelor. You'll have to have hobbies. We all have to have hobbies, right? He's, you know,. Just what he does, what he likes to do. Perfect. Hey, he's a hobby. He's a master. We all have to have hobbies, right? He's, you know, that's what he does. Some of us like to create, some of us like to tear down. No big deal. So we go out with the kids to this restaurant.

Some pizza restaurant. And I look over at Irishman's got a little piece of paper, and he's doodling a little man, right? So he draws the head, and he draws a little piece of paper and he's doodling a little man, right? So he draws the head and he draws a little body and he draws some big old feet and the feet look kind of stupid, but I'm like, oh, whatever. I really got really long feet for some reason,

whatever you've fucking, you've ever seen someone with feet as big as their body? Like you do whatever, whatever. Maybe, you know, maybe feet look like, because you're so small small maybe the feet are big Yeah, it's a part of the proportions wrong. Yeah, he draws you draws what he sees though. Yeah, because the feet for him are He's right. They're huge. I got I look you know, I look at your feet. They're at least six feet away at all times Sean at all times Yeah, never have your feet ever gotten closer than six feet away to me. You know what I'm talking about. Yeah, so

never have your feet ever gotten closer than six feet away to me. You know what I'm talking about? Yeah. So, uh, so I'm watching and I'm thinking, okay, here, let's see how he, let's see what he does with these arms, right? Nope. That's not the next step. Next step is he really slightly, little Irishman really slightly goes right for the growing.

It draws two big old nuts. Yeah. I mean, draw a big ol' peen or sticking out from the side of that. And I'm like, through the flyer over the top. I didn't ask. I assumed the man was naked. Have you ever been prouder?

And then he, almost. And then he goes, he draws the dick. And then he draws just a big ol' shooting piss coming up. Yeah. He's five years old. But it's hilarious. And then he draws this thing that the piss is going in that looks like, that looks like ovaries kind of.

Okay. And at that point, I can't stop. I just start laughing and you immediately see is that someone's been watching me, so he grabs his little thing and flips it over. And my sister and I'm like, wait, what do you, what do you draw over there? What do you draw? I'm like, no, no, no, no. This is show every show everybody what you're drawing. And my sister is going, you know, you know, only do not draw that kind of stuff

at school. That's like, it's only for only when uncle is around. Can you draw like, is I'm laughing hysterically? Yeah. Like this is the funny It's funny. You're feeding into it and he still has the guy still has no arms Yeah, so I'm like hey, hey, hey, I will buy that painting from you. Yeah, I'll buy that I'll buy the painting from you boy. I started negotiating Yeah, cuz I don't want him to be ashamed of his art. Yeah, you know, right you can get I don't know if anybody's ever made a million dollars drawing Dix, but if they believe in it, if that's your passion, you could do it.

I got to do you. You got to do you. Yeah. If that, I don't want to embarrass, you know, I don't want to embarrass this kid's, it's stop his potential. Yeah. I don't want to make him feel ashamed of what he was drawing, which was hilarious. I was really hoping it was one of You know, I don't want to embarrass this kid's, it's stop his potential. Yeah. I don't want to make him feel ashamed of what he was drawing, which was hilarious. I was really hoping it was one of those restaurants with the, you know, like the whole top of the table. On the table.

So that you couldn't flip it. No, no, no, it was, it was better than that because I have it now. So I started negotiating with him. Like I'll tell you what, I'll give you 12, I'll give you 10 Lego Skeleton Men for that thing. I was lacey here. So anyway, I've got the, he negotiates with me

for a while, my sister jumps in and says, no, get a new Legos set. I'm like, hey, you know, I'm walking. I'm not, you should have overvalued. Yeah, yeah. Like I said, oh yeah, the point is, a walk home, I get home, my dad's painting cars with chalk paint.

For reasons I don't understand. And my mom's got a, my mom's always got a fresh load of my shit from when I was a kid that she's to get through. Yes. That I have, for some reason I have to just go through every single one and give it a year and a half.

I know. I got all these posters from when you were when you lived here, what should I do with them? Throw them away. Yeah. Well, you got a look. So she goes through one by one, even this one, even this Indiana Jones one. Yes, throw it.

Even this space jam posters. Like, mom, is this a bit? Yeah. You've got 30 posters there. I don't wanna go through. No, no, no, no, it's a poster. I'm a grown man. Can't have posters in my life.

All in the trash, right? But then, but this is why I brought this up. The coup de gras on the home visit is the soft water filter. I don't know if it's full of salt or whatever, but slime shoots out of the faucet. It's like taking a shower and slime. Yeah, you can never get the soap off. Like the ooze from Ghostbusters 2.

You've never taken a shower and soft water? No, not in that kind of soft water. Oh, it's disgusting. You can't, you feel like you cannot stop soping until the bar runs out. Because there's always this disgusting film on your body. Really? You just sit there scrubbing and scrubbing and scrubbing

and finally you just give up. Like I can't tell if I'm actually clean or if this is just water. You just take off at the towel at some point. The towel is gonna get rid of it. Just bring, I start clawing and things to point. The towel's gonna get rid of it. Just bring, I start clawing at things to bring them in the shower to get rid of it. So I was discussing.

It's awful. It's awful. Oh yeah, Stereos' thing, that's play Stereos' thing. Is somebody here? Is Lacey here? I'm sure she, I mean, somebody's walking around. Hello Lacey, welcome back. I'm doing a new thing.

I'm doing a new thing. What's it? I think if I haven't seen you for longer than let's say three weeks, I'm not asking what have you been up to? No. No. No. No. Any more. Ever again. Why? Because it's a language virus. It's killing conversations. Everywhere. Yeah. Yeah, no more. No more. It's an offensive thing. It's, you know what it is? It's making somebody just do all the work.

It's, if you, if you wanna know what somebody's been up to, start guessing. Give me something. What would be your first guess, normally? What'd you go to? Yeah. You've been doing any, have you been to the zoo recently? No. Well, I go to. Yeah. You've been doing any, have you been to the zoo recently? No.

Well, I'm out. Yeah. Now ask me about me. Yeah. You, uh, do you like baseball cards? I don't know how to answer that. Yeah, that's a good, that's a good conversation. Now I've got, now I've gone somewhere. Yeah, I mean, baseball cards like, you like hockey cards?

You got a collection of baseball cards. I got some I've going somewhere. Yeah, I mean baseball cards like. You like hockey cards? You got a collection of baseball cards. I got some hockey cards somewhere actually. Do you have any cases of them? Do you have any treasured ones? I got a Patrick Wall rookie card. Okay, see this is a, this is a, this is not a very good conversation.

Better conversation at least. Hey, not you. Not you. Not you. What have you been up to? All right, we've got, Lacey, you're, we're running late already. We've got some bits that we're still going through. We've got another news person who does an indie game round up.

He talks about video games. His name is Tom Phillips, so he sent me a video. Who I just found out was a stereos. Yeah. There you go. Do you like games that start out great, then kind of run out of ideas? Then you'll love the all-new indie game, Mad Cux versus his sense of self-importance.

Oh my, I never read you or really rant about politics on his podcast, Nobody Liesens 2. But make sure you don't. If you do, he'll anonymously snipe at you for weeks online then go back to not writing a book, nobody asked for it in the first place. Just like the real Mad Dix. Oh, speaking of George, we're only called Maddox George on the podcast

like he'd ever met the guy. That was weird, right? That was weird. That was weird. These guys are really calling at each other, man. Fucking pissy. Yeah, okay, here's the last one. Okay.

These two guys that are kind of feuding. I think because one of their girlfriends got brought into it. It's always tough. You can't back away from that one. You can't, if you said it, you can't back away. Because you probably meant it. Well, that's the thing. Yeah. When you're trying to stick it to someone, you go for it.

And that was... Yeah. And if it's your girlfriend, you can't back away. Because, you know, it's just like... Yeah, we were hanging. Yeah. We're gonna stick up where? Well, I guess that's one way to look at it.

Yeah. A lot of cognitive dissonance involved too. Speaking on my, speaking personally speaking, I always try to look for the worst reasons to do anything. I don't know if this is a healthy outlook, but whenever people do, and look whenever I do something, I'm like, okay, yeah, I know why I'm saying

that the reason out loud is, because I gotta stand up for my woman, right? But what's the worst reason that you could be doing it? Because you know what they're saying is true and you feel like you have to defend this delusion that you have that it's not, right? I wish I knew what we were talking about. We're always talking about two guys fighting over a chick.

That's all anything is. Anything, anything. So it's two guys fighting over a chick. That's all anything is anything anything anything. Just two guys fighting over a chick. Right? What else is there? Like what the shot? What else? How have I ever fought over a chick? Yeah. I don't think so. Really? I can see that. No. You can see that. Do you do you like that? Do you like when guys level level headed, I am not. No, that's not. Not level headed.

Have you, do you like when guys throw big fits over defending your honor? No. No, you don't like that. It's like that. Chicks, chicks who find it very attractive say that. I love it. Because they equally get off on saying that they're above it.

That's a no, that's a no lazy. No, no, no, no. I get it, I got it. I got you. I'm reading between the lines and then you say Yeah, see in my sick brain to of what's the worst reason that could be someone would say that because they're worried that no Guy would do that for them And I can't turn that off. Hmm. No, I always just have to keep these thoughts to myself. Like someone will say something and I'm like, okay, that's what you're saying it is. But I bet this is the reason it's always a fucked up one. Why would you think that about someone?

But maybe it's true. You know, I don't know. A guy would. Always looking for the one. Yeah, a guy would definitely really, really just accept a fear Sean. Hammer Sean would do it. Sean would do it. Yeah, anybody would.

You can always, you can always push someone hard enough so that they will. That's probably true. Yeah, you can, that's, yeah, I know. How much pressure and what kind of pressure is being applied? I don't think people fundamentally are that different. Yeah, okay. Here's the last one of Tom Phillips's indie game roundup.

BioWare's got a new game based on the life of a failed comedian entitled Asterio's Coconose, Portrait of a Triggered Cuck, braced to get offended by anything that doesn't fit within your fairly functional self-image. My conservatives on Twitter then take their money on patreon.com slash stereo. Goddamn it. Until 4 a.m. Arguing on Reddit.

Instead of updating patreon.com slash just stereos. Visit patreon.com slash just stereos. patreon.com slash just stereos. patreon.com slash just stereos. Yeah, patreon.com. I got madcookux's response. I got an interview by him. And interview by him interviewing him. Oh, Mad Cux.

By the Goss squad reporter. By Haaz and Cruz. Yeah, whatever he does before we do the news. Do you hear Mad Cux's response? He said it was funny. Yeah, I want to hear his response. This guy is Therios and this other guy, a pretend guy, by the name of Mad Cucks. This is who they're arguing over. They're just arguing. I don't know, no one really knows why, but it's all on, it's all they talk about on Reddit now. Because they're both very

funny. They're both very funny. And they funny. They're both very funny and they're also both, they really know how to hit hard. Like I don't wanna be made fun of either of them. No, I don't wanna read terrible things. People say they never made fun of you. Always been respectful. I don't know, probably, but not this bad. No.

It really going for it. I'll play the, play the Mad Cucks. I'll have to increase one. I'll do some news. This just in a god squad exclusive, Mad Cucks says there's no Reddit beef and that stupid news bits are taking things way too serious So a stereo says you've been giving him shit on reddit for like three weeks man. Like what is he talking about?

I don't know man Just from this studios burn his math again caught up with madcuck and asked him about some of the more Aggressive things he said on reddit over the past couple of days, past couple weeks. Yeah, I made some jokes. So why do you think a stereo is tagged you in that specific thread that that L-pop got made? I think that it's irresponsible to make assumptions about whether people are thinking. He seemed very level headed.

He seemed very calm, collected, keep in mind this was a little bit after the actual red beef had kind of opened these wounds. Do you regret asking, does your girlfriend give you a blowjob every time you talk tough to someone you disagree with on the internet? No, but if I didn't, I wouldn't say it if I didn't think it. Do you hate that you got outed as Fort conspiracy? I don't even, I don't think I got, I don't think anybody knows that. A lot of these things that people were saying would really cut him really deep. He didn't seem very affected by it until we asked him about one specific comment. How did it make you feel when somebody asked you? I mean, you're both fucking assholes for riding the pot awful oppression train for Patreon bucks. I mean, how does it feel to jump in and make a bit about non-existent

gods? I mean, that's that's really kind of what this is. It's like, hey, here's some here's some gods going on. Let me hop in and put my stamp on there. I'll have you know, I'm a revered journalist. Well, I mean, I just I feel like some of these questions are geared to try and make me get angry and be like, oh, a stereo sound and there's so much hate. There's there's probably not like a stereo to talking out of his ads, misinterpreted what I was saying. I was talking more hatefully than what's probably necessary, but like there's not a beef and now it's just being stirred up in some big controversy because everybody's blown out of proportion now. everybody knows that my regular everyday account is me.

I mean, it's everybody's making a mountain out of moleel and especially this. I mean, this is the epoch of putting yourself into a situation that doesn't involve you. You seem very hesitant to even refer to what happened as a beef or an argument at all. It's not even an argument. I mean, it's a difference of opinion on the critique of its art. That's what it was. I'm critiquing your art. And he didn't like my critique. And then he has that right. And now it's like some being made into some big deal, there's nothing happening. Speaking of artwork, works of art, when are we going to see the book completed? Yeah.

When it's out in stores. That's when. God damn it. Unfortunately, the interview was cut there because it was late and Madcooks had to go to bed. All right. There you go. Thanks, Ossan.

Okay. Ready for some news. Yeah, I'm ready for actual news. We're all ready for some news. All right, starting with some entertainment news. You know who Kevin Hart is, right? Come here. Yeah, I have that little guy. He's that little guy.

Yes, he's at the middle of a huge seven figure extortion plot. Extortion? Extortion. Extortion. Yes. So about a month ago, he was in Vegas doing, you know, what most single man would do, hang out with strippers drinking. Yeah, right. Drinking, drinking alone at the bar, playing Blackjack until four in the morning, and then going up to your room, and jerking off, and then sleeping until three, going to the pool, drinking too much, getting sleepy, going to bed again and then waking up and going home.

That's what guys do in Vegas. Totally. Yeah. I hate Vegas so much. I hate that what stays in Vegas shit actually worked and what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas. Nothing happens in Vegas. Something happened in Vegas and it definitely didn't stay in Vegas. So Kevin Hart is married. He got married about two, three months ago this summer. His wife's pregnant.

He has kids from a from a previous marriage. So this is his second marriage. Second marriage. So Kevin gets recorded in some sexually explicit. What's he doing with a guy? With a girl. A couple girls. He sounded disappointed there. How is he getting extorted for that? He's the most famous guy.

Exactly. That's exactly why he's being extorted. What is his wife like? Oh, I can't believe this is happening. You fucking moron. So he gets filmed. And the person behind the film tries to extort him for seven figures. He says absolutely not.

So before the film is released on TMZ, Kevin comes out with an apology video to his wife and kids and says, I'm terribly sorry for all the wrong that I've done. Please accept my apology, yada, yada, yada. Then the video comes out a couple days later on TMZ and it's Kevin cuddled up to some girl, not as well. It's with a whole story explaining exactly what happened. Just rolling through out there for everyone to see. So basically what had happened is Kevin hooked up with a few chicks, got filmed,

it was drinking out of his mind, and then somebody came forward trying to get him to pay to cover up the video, but he says no. He wants to go. Seven figures. Lacey, the world is at the brink of a nuclear war. Oh, we're gonna talk about that too. Yes. And we don't have time to be worrying about Kevin Hart. This is what I would be saying if I was Kevin Hart. We don't have time to worry about I was doing in your speech.

Yeah. Look, Kim Jong-un, Rocket Man. By the way, we beat Trump with a nickname. This show, I beat Trump with the nickname Rocket Man because that is a good ass nickname that he's been calling Kim Jong-un. And I said it first, I've been calling my friend that for like a year by college roommate.

That's one victory for me. Number two victory for me that I beat South Park on was their last episode was Cartman being disrespectful to Alexa. And that's starting to infect his brain. I talked about that like a year ago too. Yeah. How do you know you said it and somebody probably heard you and now they're coughing you?

You should. I think that they are. Yeah. I think that's how it gets out there. You know what I noticed when I was home this weekend, showering my parents slime bath. It's not that bad. It's not that bad. It's not that bad. It's not that bad. It's not that bad. It's not that bad. It's not that bad. It's not that bad. It's not that bad.

It's not that bad. It's not that bad. It's not that bad. It's not that bad. It's not that bad. It's not that bad. It's not that bad. It's not that bad.

It's not that bad. It's not that bad. It's not that bad. It's not that bad. It's not that bad. It's not that bad. It's not that bad. It's not that bad.

It's not that bad. It's not that bad. It's not that bad. It's not that bad. It wrong with that, but that's what it feels like, showering and soft water. Did somebody just make a sound effect? I heard that too. Did you hear that? Oh, that was a laugh? It was like a really disgusting bubble that I thought that too. No. Lacing clear your throat down.

No, it was like somebody doing it on purpose. It sounded like... Well, look. I heard what I wanted to hear. Yeah. What was I talking about that? Oh, yeah, I heard what I wanted to hear. Yeah Why was I talking about that? Oh, yeah, I noticed that while I was home nicknames my mom talks to the Alexa Like she talks to Mexicans

Like she talks was like she talks to your father. I was gonna say Like she talks to legal Mexicans. Oh, like a white ladies will slow. Oh, okay. So they called, she talks to, I don't wanna keep saying the goddamn name of the thing because everybody's things are gonna be triggering up a storm. It's so fucking annoying to talk about the robot. She, my mom talks to robots exactly like she talks to undocumented legal Mexicans.

It was just funny, right? Because it's not must be like a, yeah, she's a robot. She wants to be clear. I would like you to play. I'm like, mom, you don't have to talk to the robot like that. Okay. All right. So Kevin Hartey's.

Yeah. So the extortion case is still being investigated. The woman in the film came out said that she is not behind the plot. Somebody else supposedly at the party still found their own loose. But the police are involved and Kevin hopes to get down to the bottom of it as soon as possible. I know so many details about this story. I find it intriguing.

He's like, why? Well, part. He's a squeaky clean image who knows for all these family films. Ladies and gentlemen, he's a male comedian. What do you, he hates himself. He's made of insecurities. There's, it's male comedians are, I was,

I was on the internet somewhere reading about this show and someone said like, yeah, I mean honestly Dicks probably a piece of shit, but at least he's funny. I'm like, well Take it any comedians a piece of shit, so he probably is, but you know, whatever. He's funny. I'm like, okay Can't see you're wrong. I can't live a bad. I guess so Moving on yeah, let's get into some political news. Okay. No boy. No, boy. People love that. Yeah, they do. Yeah. All right. So, US bombers flew over North Korea and midfiers the nuclear tests ran by the country. That was like a, I'm going to whip it out for this, right? That was like a nuclear

bomb. That's exactly what the Pentagon said. They released a statement and they said, let me just show you something. A dimension is a demonstration of the US resolved and clear message that the president has many military options to defeat any threat aimed towards North Korea as they fly over their airspace. This was the farthest flight north. Sorry. Of the demilitarized zone separating North Korean South Korea in the 21st century. So it's getting pretty intense. Yeah.

I don't know about you. I'm a little nervous. You're nervous? I'm very nervous. Does it turn you on if a guy were to like threaten to launch nuclear bombs? No. Is that, is that like the ultimate version of that?

That's to defend your honor. I've always been super intrigued by how dare you say that about places. Yeah. Is that the ultimate version of it. That's to defend your honor. I've always been super intrigued by Kim Jong-Soo. How dare you say that about Lisa? Yeah. That would be the ultimate. Yeah, that would be pretty cool. I mean, if I had Kim Jong-Un and Trump fighting over me, I don't think I'd be happy person.

Why, they're both, they're both charismatic individuals. They're both snappy dressers. But probably both very funny. Both good hair, good hair. Yeah, I mean, come on. Yeah. It'd be tough to choose. It's not necessarily necessarily necessarily necessarily necessarily necessarily necessarily necessarily necessarily necessarily necessarily necessarily necessarily necessarily necessarily necessarily necessarily necessarily necessarily necessarily necessarily necessarily necessarily necessarily necessarily necessarily necessarily necessarily necessarily necessarily necessarily necessarily necessarily necessarily necessarily necessarily necessarily necessarily necessarily necessarily necessarily necessarily necessarily necessarily necessarily necessarily necessarily necessarily necessarily necessarily necessarily necessarily necessarily necessarily necessarily necessarily necessarily necessarily necessarily necessarily necessarily necessarily necessarily necessarily necessarily necessarily necessarily necessarily necessarily necessarily necessarily necessarily necessarily necessarily necessarily necessarily necessarily necessarily necessarily necessarily necessarily necessarily 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necessarily necessarily necessarily necessarily necessarily necessarily necessarily necessarily necessarily necessarily necessarily necessarily necessarily necessarily necessarily necessarily necessarily necessarily necessarily necessarily necessarily necessarily necessarily necessarily necessarily necessarily necessarily You say that, but you live over here. I feel like you're pretty safe and protected. Yeah. Where I live, if anything happened, I'm fucked. Where do you live? In the middle of Los Angeles.

Do you think they're going after Los Angeles? Yes, why would they not? Because it's already a hellhole. No one's gonna, this is, Los Angeles is the worst place to hit in the US. Because the rest of the US will be go good. Yeah. Good.

Take out New York next. And then we can fix the fucking country. We don't. Thank you. They're not going after LA. No, I know that's a reasonable target for them. No, New York. Well, South Korea probably.

Right. Wouldn't they go after South Korea or Japan? Yeah. Their missiles can't shoot all the way over here. Kim Jong-un's missiles. Were they saying about Hawaii? Hawaii was sort of the... You think?

Oh, oh no! Oh no! Oh no! I'm so... Give me a break. Oh my gosh. headline. I think that we get second billing under Kevin Hart.

Yeah, for sure. Why you got dumped. All right. So on Friday, at media day, Steph Curry told reporters that his views have not changed and that he did not want to visit the White House. Immediately, Trump fired back that he was disinvited and no longer able to come to the White House.

Yeah, that's cool. Or the Warriors, right? Was it him or the Warriors? We're specifically, but then the Warriors released his David, and they're like, well, we're not, we're all not coming. We're not going. They didn't say that. But I just think it's not-

And you're not invited. Who? And Trump said you're not invited. To the Warriors. Yeah, and the Warriors are not going. Yeah, because it's customary for every championship team to go visit the White House after. And it's just celebratory, happy times.

But no one wants to visit the White House. That's what Trump does. Trump should keep one uping, then. He will, right? I don't even watch basketball. Never watch this. He doesn't. Spectators, don't tune in.

They're rating suck already. That's what he said about the NFL. I've never bounced a ball. Yeah. I've had people do it for me. Yeah. I grew up with several ball bouncers. There's so much showing off going on.

It is. It's kind of just fantastic. I'm not going to go to the White House like, all right, man. People have done that over the decades. It just never got the news coverage that it does now. When the press happen, depending on who's in the office, somebody is, is like, you know, ideologically opposed to, you know, the president or who's in office. Or people who have people haven't, people haven't gone before. It wasn't like a big, you know, it wasn't like a big thing. I think this is a big thing. I have those.

Totally suspected one of those. those fantasies like turning down something stupid like that. Yeah, no, it's awful. It's the president responding. It's like, because no president would respond. They'd be like, okay, yeah, whatever. And then I heard LeBron then tweeted out. Right, I called him a bum, he said.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, he said, you bum step career. He said he didn't want to go. So therefore there was no invite. Good, be a pain in the ass. Totally. To everybody.

Would you do it if they went, what, for audio engineering, if they're like, oh, come on out and come get your picture taken at the White House for doing all the audio stuff. Like, can you imagine what a, like how much work that would be to go to the White House? Yeah, I got a fly to Washington. Now I got to go through six hours of security

to get in, take a picture. Great. And then you got everybody asking you, oh, what was it like? Yeah. What was it like? Unpicture. Underwhelming.

Yeah, it was stupid. The whole thing was stupid. Yeah, it doesn't, yeah. Okay, here's. Yeah. All right, moving on. Yeah. A little bit more serious news.

It's really sad. New feel or war? That's pretty serious. You don't think it's going to happen though. This definitely happened. No, I don't think it's gonna happen. You got a guy who made billions of dollars in real estate. He's gonna go around blowing up buildings.

I don't think so. Like I think in the process of destroying the world, I hope there's a lot more steps involved. It doesn't go tweeting to global annihilation. This is the most we've heard out of Kim Jong-un in years, too, right? We haven't heard this guy talk. I mean, all of a sudden he's just, you know what I think is going to happen. Paul and Trump had due tired. I think Trump's going to finally figure out or somebody's going to finally figure out that we could just go after the people, like he did that executive order saying, yeah, the US can go after any company that financially supports North Korea.

So what are the companies that are putting money into that stupid country? They're like, oh, yeah, but we're not a government, so you can't declare war on us. Like, yeah, dude, yes, we can. Because we do it. Because it's declared on us. Because it's all that's, there's no such,

there's no line between anything. That's just, should you tell kids, there's no government or private entity or whatever it's just people with power constantly raining it down everybody else you think you're safe from that it's just they're just numbers on a computer yeah everything that you are and everything that your company is a fucking number on a computer that we own it could disappear in a second with no reason whatsoever.

Yeah, oh, there's an executive order saying I could delete all the shit that I know I could already delete. And there will be no more whatever company you are. That's it. No more in North Korea. Oh, what about all that nuclear warship? Doesn't matter at all. That was all just a big show to keep defense contractor money

Pouring in pouring in we got to fly these jets We got to have a whole battalion of jets and aircraft carriers circling the fucking globe Can we need pass the plate around we need to build a big ass plate to pass around because this guy's so fucking scary. Oh, I signed this, I signed a piece of paper saying I can open a computer and just delete all their fucking money. Problem solved. You're making me feel better. Don't worry about it. Okay. There's not going to be, there's, you know, why there's not going to be, yelling is really calm. You know why there's not not gonna be any nuclear war? Because if we use the bombs, we don't have to pay to maintain them anymore.

Well, that's not good for anybody. We gotta blow up all these fucking buildings. That will fuck up the land value of the buildings. Well, we can't have nook, we can't blow up our own buildings. Trump's not gonna blow up any buildings. Well, I should hope not. Is it because what I'm saying crazy? Well, why is it just money on a computer system?

It's all a country is. Hey, you you five companies that are supplied that are giving money to North Korea. Don't do it anymore or will just or will take all of your stuff. Yeah, what's what interest do we have over there? What China has all of it? China has all the interests in North Korea. They keep it afloat. Yeah, they keep it afloat to be funny.

Yeah, to be fun. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So they could fuck with South Korea. Yeah, or once upon a time, I don't fuck it. Oh my God. It's a comedy relief they have. This is so, it's never gonna take it. It's not gonna get their ox off.

It's gonna get their ox off. Yeah. All right. What else you got? So Oklahoma City Police fatally shot a deaf man despite yells from neighbors that he cannot hear. Oh. It's really sad.

On Tuesday night, Oklahoma City Police officers responded to a hit and run accident. A witness of the accident said the car a car traveled to a nearby address. So two police officers took off. They got outside of their cars and they saw a man on a porch with a metal pipe and some leather loop in his right hand. Oh my god. Sixth thing. I don't think it was. I don't think it was. Yeah, give me the all loop pipe. The two officers get out of their car, one drew a gun, one had a taser, and the man started walking towards them with the stick, and they both let the shot them.

They shot him. Yeah, that sucks. Shot and killed him. As witnesses, we're yelling at the time he's deaf, he cannot hear. Does it turn out the cops were deaf too? Right Was he more was he more than deaf? What's he more?

Oh, when is that sorry a witness said that he had developmental disorder Exactly, yeah, there's no amount of good news to offset the bad news Sean There's no reason for me to know about this story. There's no reason, but I have to. I can't escape it. Go online, all it is is bad, bad. Oh, a totally horrific thing happened because some people fucked up.

And of course, he had nothing to do with anything, right? Just to do it on his. No criminal history. So what it was. Developmentally disabled. Dad. He was a metal pipe and he was probably playing with. Yes, exactly.

His dad was driving the car. Dad drove home and the guy, or Mr. Sanchez was not in the car at all. He was at home the whole time. And so he had nothing to do with even the accident. Yeah. And Faley was shot. Wonderful.

He's a 712th person to be shot and killed by the police in the US so far. I thought you were gonna see who's 712 pounds. Wow, that's a big target. No, no, no. And neither of the officers had body cameras on at the time of the shooting, so. Should cops have live guns?

Is that a thing that has ever been, should they have live guns? I mean, they have like, they gotta have guns, right? That's the thing that has a whole issue. But there are some where it's like, wait, there's non-leafal rounds. But you know what it is though,

all of that is just bullshit. It's only because the, it's only because the same cop, the same cop has to give me a ticket that has to kick in the doors of them, or that has to arrest meth dealers. That's why. Because they have to deal with them because they have to deal with drugs. That's the only reason I can't I don't even want to talk about cops until the drug should have gone until it's just totally totally legal because everyone does it. So it's not against law.

Yeah. And there's no there's no way somebody can be trained to do both right to deal with just you and me and then to deal with Like drug dealers. Well, I mean there are specialized people who deal with drug dealers But you also there are people who you're right. There's there's some overlap there a ton of over there's some overlap Yeah, and it's yeah, there's a flaw in the system Well, and the drug laws are archaic. And what they do is they get people put in jail and they get, they get cops killed. And then they also get innocent people. Is that what Capra nix me?

Is that what everybody in the NFL is kneeling about? Racial injustice. Yes. Well, what's that? Is it anything to do with drug laws that I can get behind? I don't know. I'm pretty all related in some way. I'm trying to enforce the laws that are on the books

is bad for everybody except those who make money from it, I think. Well, then you get into privatizing prisons, which is even, I mean, that's even worse in a lot of ways because you get these cops like in some of the southern states where they actually have quotas for like how many people they basically put in prison. Mr. Fancy pants. Quarters are illegal. Okay. The southern states. Maybe I made that up.

You come in here with your, your cucketness and. All right. But I've always heard that about traffic tickets too. Like they have to register. Oh, of course they do. Yeah. And you know, you can see it in Los Angeles. It's always around between like the 20th and the end of the month. The fucking traffic units are out in force.

Yeah. You go, where are all these fucking cops coming from? Everybody's pulled over. Yeah, especially the motorcycle cops. All of a sudden they're like, you see it all over the place. And yes, absolutely. Of course, there's quotas.

More very upset about that. Yeah. Right. Very upset about traffic tickets. Yeah. War on drugs. Yeah. Yeah.

Racial, racial injustice. No, I think it's what's that. Yeah. I know, but I know what's that. That's what I said. I know, but it's, that's what I'm saying. The things that are very upsetting are extremely out of whack. It's what's causing the problem.

Of course, they problem. Of course they are. Of course, but I'm neither a drug dealer nor a cop, nor a minority. Stop it. Nobody thinks, nobody thinks you're funny. Is that the end of the end of the video? No, I have one more news story. Okay, is it depressing?

No, it's kind of funny. It's kind of a mentally disabled guy getting shot. Yeah, that's terrible. I know I just wanted to bring it out. Why? Because a cop like a cop thing fucked up and they're stupid. Please see they have a very hard job keeping you saved but they're making it harder and they're out. Exactly. You're making it harder. I can't I can't trust them. I don't want you don't trust them. No. Has a cop ever pulled you over to hit on you? No.

I'll bet you got no. No. That's shocking to me. I thought that's all they did. I wouldn't know how to end. I would be so fff. You don't who wouldn't like that. I wouldn't like it at all.

What if it were Kim drawing? What would bass and I wouldn't see him in a form? I don't have like a terrible one. No, you just don't like them. You don't like all those. I don't like to get caught up in anything like this. Oh, yeah. I think it could happen to anybody at this point.

Really? Yes. I don't know. I don't know about that. Okay, what else have you got? Oh, wow, you stopped yourself. I can't believe that. Okay. What else have you got? Wow, you stopped yourself. I can't believe that. All right, moving on to shitty news. So there's a female jogger wanted in Colorado Springs, Colorado, because she's going around because she stopped jogging her weekly runs.

And I know this one. I do shit in people's yards. really the people of Colorado Springs are not happy about it. She's she like brings her own toilet paper. They say she's just right around how does she disease to she stand before she wipes Yeah, no one knows the cops want her to get or people to take photographs of her So they can try and catch her there's a photo. There's a photo of her. What's weird? I mean, not crazy person, right? I mean, it's like she's dressed in like normal, work out a tire, you know? Somebody said the yelled at her and she's like,

sorry. Yeah. What else do you say, Sean? What if she's got like IVS? Well, that's what I mean. Like, what do you maybe stick a little closer to, huh? Maybe get a treadmill and a bucket. What does he use the restroom before?

You know what I mean? Like, Sean, once they go, Oh, sometimes you can't tell. Right, I know this. Sometimes you can't tell. What? And sometimes it's every day that you need. You need to get it out of you.

And Sean, she can't use a treadmill. Once it gets caught in the belt, it's, you treadmill's done. Yeah. Could you imagine it would be like up on the walls? So there's a man, huh? Yeah. Yeah, there's a man.

There's a man, the woman from the streetitter. Charmin actually tweeted and they said, if the mad pooper turns herself in, we'll give her a year's supply of TP to help with her runs. Well, I feel like there's an angle here. Like I need to figure out what I want and then do something that will get some sort of what do you want? I don't know. I don't know. I was just sharming. If sharmen sent a bear out on her route to mall or also advertising, yeah, they probably staged the whole thing. Yeah. You can do new type of marketing.

I like that one more. I always think those ads are very odd and that it did that all start from does a bear shit in the woods. It has to be. That has to be what caused that whole ad campaign, right? No, it's it's so soft. They're saying it's so soft that you want to wipe what caused that whole ad campaign, right? No, it's, it's so soft. They're saying it's so soft that you want to wipe your ass on a bear. Oh, that's saying before.

Yeah, well, no. There's no greater pleasure than wiping your ass on a baby bear. Yeah. It's, it's, it's fun because it's dangerous. Before they had to, because toilet paper used to be a luxury. Yeah. You can't mulch up a hole in the first toilet paper with the paper and the original mulch bark.

It was terrible. So they would just grab a bear. Yeah. They knock over a nest of bears. I don't know if I'm just a few, but I feel like. When the kittens ran out, they went for the bear. They can't be too soft. Yeah, like new.

They got to be like, you know, but you don't want them to be have teeth. The claw is either. They got to be just right. That's where Goldilocks, right in the bears. That's why that's what I was thinking. This ass wipe is just right. Goldilocks is going from bearness to bearness,

finding bears to wipe her ass on. Uh huh. And she was like, oh, this one's too fucking, this one's too soft. Yeah. She spent so much time doing it. She had to start jogging. Yeah. Yeah.

This one's too, this one's got too many claws. Yeah. It's full circle. This one's just right. Wait, is that Goldilocks and three bears? Or is that the three little pigs? Three little pigs. Oh, what?

You don't know why you're asked on a pig. No. You ever pet a pig? Like at a petting zoo Not not a not a pleasurable experience. They're very bristly Their hair is very coarse. Yeah, you're like I heard you're so smart and cool, but god you're disgusting to pet fat and gross Yeah, they're strange animals You know

Don't wipe your ass on p like that. Let me see. I got another song here. Yes, I. Thank you. I'll see you in the news. Of course. Thank you for the depressing news. Don't be afraid of nuclear war.

It's not going to. I'm not going to. Because the people who are causing all of this hysteria have too much money invested in all of their dumb buildings. They're just trying to, they, George Soros, is just trying to drive economic uncertainty and collapse so he can cash in his big multi-billion dollar stock short, right? Counting betting on the market going down so he can pull out and make hundreds of billions of dollars. That's all this hysteria, it's all bullshit. I hope so.

Yeah. You know, I got one, let's say I got a song here from the zoo, a.k.a. Get raped. Oh, he wrote the lyrics, that's the guy's name. Yeah, yeah. Vistas, he goes by Get raped. Well, he's also known as, so yeah, I guess that's the guy's name. Yeah. Vista's. He goes by Get Raped. Well, he's also known as, so yeah, I guess that's it. He'll answer it a lot.

Like a meme from the old show. I don't, it's a distasteful one to me. Oh yeah. Some people think it's funny, no judgment. It's quite, and Jay Stevens did the vocals. Oh, okay. Here's the, it's called, it's called, gelking on a dong. Okay.

Juan Jovey. Ah. Yeah. Mm-hmm. Ask goblins of Auschwitz you're gonna read it. I wouldn't mind take it Are you allowed to jerk off? Yeah That was a fun one Uh-huh Gina looks the datter all day

It's better for the shithole Working for her shan, she brings up a pay for shan I can only imagine what goes on He is gone I don't give a shith She says me a whole don't I didn't give a shit. She says me a little dog. I didn't get it. You got it.

It doesn't make a difference if it's more not. I've got three holes. And that's a lot more dog. I'm coming in hot. Whoa! I have way there. Whoa! Push me down the stairs. Take a step in the ass. He's half way there

Fuck is going on He started to sound like John Bon Jovi and then he sounded like Alice Cooper When he's all damn it he can't make it talk so tough We were in Genesis Putting your finger in the asshole is helping Would he cry in the night Shiny whispers? Maybe I'm not gay Are these people? Maybe I'm not These people just even like God best is Lots of I'm gonna throw up

I don't know I know what that is Oh Okay, good God people the Facebook group is doing a Dixiel calendar Here was going on here was let me see here was one of the Here was the first entry So this is this is this is Bobby Squibb posted this is the first entry of the calendar. People are getting really excited about it and understand why. Right. This is the dickhead. Oh my goodness gracious. She is or

she is unbelievable. Right. Give me let me see more of this. Let me see more of this calendar. Calendar. I hope we have enough Women for 12 months. Oh, here was the next here was the next entry Yeah, oh I have with a dick chef shirt. Good some kind of Japanese, I don't know what that's called the Japanese hanging over the the growing area the bath bath house Dipper ish. Yeah, how do you feel about that? It's awesome. Yeah, it's great over the growing area, the bath house, diaper-ish. How do you feel about that? It's awesome.

It's great, it's beautiful, beautiful body. And that man gives me a sense of pride, to lose Caddock. So hop into the Facebook group, we guess if you wanna see these pictures, I'm talking about. Captain Jackass sent in a Facebook news reel. You're interested in that, Sean? I'm interested in everything. Okay. It's a good day then. Lacey, you want to hear

what you're up against for news? I'd love it. Hello, Dick and hello, Dickhead. This is the Dick Show Facebook group news for the last couple of days. Top story in the Dick Show Facebook group. Johnny Olson on Wednesday afternoon used fraudulent piss to take his drug test for his new job. The job must not be then important because he couldn't put down the joint. However, we will let everybody know the next few days. Was the piss fraudulent enough to help Johnny win the job? I love this. I love his delivery. Yeah, it's so serious. Wednesday created by Jay Thompson asks,

who was better at dealing with women? Oh, Jay Simpson or Denzel? Oh! Oh, Jay Simpson 58, Denzel 0. Tanner Gregory has a question. Why are we not laughing at that? Undone the line in the sand between dickshow.com and the dickshow.com. Tanner is currently organizing a calendar for the dick show, Facebook, group and dick show listeners.

Here's what he wrote. At this time, I'll be taking names of those who are interested. I'll be doing a female and a male calendar. I have about six males that have agreed in two females. Obviously, I want more. This may be a 12 or 18-month calendar, depending on interest, please remember, we are not asking full frontal. The whole bonus if you're willing, just tasteful nudity. Ask side-boob or full-boob and take it with a nicer camera and you must

have a dick show logo. Please contact Tanner Gregory who you can find in the dick show. That would have been enough. That could have been the entire... Lastly, this find in the Dixho that would have been enough that could have been the entire Lastly this week in the Dixho Facebook group Arkham Black had asked the Dixho Facebook group to describe their penis with a movie title Answers include predator Big trouble in little China Child's play the lone warrior the big short and The incredible shrinking man. This has been the Big Show Facebook news for the last couple days.

If you're interested in joining the Big Show Facebook group, just find it on Facebook. Great. Let's see. I got comments here. Sean Marr, Sean Mayer says, what made me reach out is the rant you were making about McDonald's Diet Coke being normal Coke. Similar incident happened to me. I was a stinking hot day. I had been surfing for most of it and then just felt like a large McDonald's Coke from McDonald's had to drive for 30 minutes to get the closest drive through just ordered a single drink pulled out took a sip and it was some flat watered down bullshit. Must have been sitting in the window all day. I got so angry.

I swung around and hurled. Hurled it out at the drive-through window. Fuck it felt good. But then I had a 30-minute drive home with no Coke. Yeah, because you can't go back after you get through. Actually, you could. You could. What are they gonna do?

Shit in your Coke. Shit in your Coke. Also, one more thing. Every time I hear Lacey's voice, I instantly fall in love. Wow. Forget what I'm doing and I start daydreaming about doing a road trip around the U.S. and a V8 convertible or just picking up and just tearing up the miles with her beside me. Reading stuff. Can you pass it on to her? Reading self-receded or dual Australian US citizenship? I'll marry her tomorrow. He says. I'm not into long distance road trips. You're not into long distance. That's what you

are objecting to in this? What do you mean? Why? What's wrong with long distance road trips? Too far to Australia. Yeah. What about just a regular? I don't know. You don't like long distance road trips? No. Why? It's too close space, too long of dry. I just don't do it. Too close space, it's a car, it's not a coffin. It feels like a...

It can be dick. You don't like long road distance, long road trips. It can be, it's a rolling coffin. I'll take like 34 hours, but I'm not traveling across the country. I like driving. Come on, you're a chick from LA. That's you. I don't know, I'm from Oregon.

I mean, you're in LA though. That's LA girl thing. I just wanna do a road trip to the end of time. That's why I moved to LA because I don't want anyone back. I'm sorry buddy, you guys are like, what kind of guy, what kind of guy do you, do you like lawyers? No. No?

They're liars. They're liars. What do you like? Do you like lawyers? No. No? They're liars. They're liars. What do you mean they're liars? You were quick with that. Like I feel like there's a story. How are they liars? Well, professionally speaking, that's kind of true.

Completely. How are lawyers liars? Yeah, don't. My eyes don't work on me. It's actually just the Australian pronunciation of lawyers. Yeah, I just spent some time. Why are lawyers liars? Lawyers.

They are. Yeah, but why? Do you want to lie to you? No. You just think that they're liars? Definitely. Came into contact. Not.

What are they lie about? Just all the time? They're paid to lie. They have, but that's their job. Exactly. I feel like they could easily carry over into a relationship. And then they, what would they lie about? Everything.

Like, like, what? Where they've been. Who they've been working with. They've only been work. That's all they do. Because they work all day. Why is it like? Lazy, I think I could change your mind on that.

Are you a lawyer? Um, is this like a rebel? How would you change your mind on that. Are you a lawyer? Is this like a rebel? How could I answer that? How could I lawyer answer that honestly? If he lies, yeah. Do you think he's a lawyer? Let's see here. Daniel Rush, Rushick.

Will you say, will you give a shout out to Sean Mayher? Shout out Sean. But Sean, oh, you're mean. It's the, yeah, but man it. I mean, he's spending all day thinking about driving around with you and convertible. I appreciate the thought, Sean, very nice. But that's not your thing.

But it's just not my thing. What is your thing? Try a little harder. Oh boy. What is your thing? What are you like. Oh boy. What is your thing? What are you like? Don't just tarant tarant up the miles on the wrong side of the road.

I'm gonna pick up truck. How romantic. Just like mowing down kangaroos, throwing them in the back, pulling over at the end of the day and having a kangaroo roast. So you don't like. It's terrible. Do they really roast kangaroos?

Yeah, that's all they eat down there. Yeah. That's all they, it's like cows for them. The aborigines eat kangaroo. I know like the tails of delicacy, like for certain holidays or... You have to kill the whole kangaroo. Yeah, the tails grow back. Yeah, they're...

Well, they've been, yeah, they've been breeding them with lizards. Like, what? Like a cat. Like they could cut off a kangaroo's tail. Right, you don't have to kill them. That's like a part of how they move around. Yeah, yeah, they use it as a finger. Like a dry pot.

Probably just fall backwards. They like, they put their little front arms down. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, you have to give them a kick stand off a bike. Like, if you just bolt it into the lower vertebrae and then just kind of kick it down, they're not the kicker, then. You have to give them a kick stand off a bike. Like if you just bolt it into the lower vertebrae and then just kind of kick it down, they're like, ah, much better. They are supposed to be pretty mean, though, right?

I mean, they're known for like drowning dogs and stuff. Oh, look, all animals are mean. That's true. They're all pieces of shit. Oh. If you met them one on one, what do you as who I was? You couldn't talk your way out of anything.

They're gonna get you. If they think they're a little bit, if they think your way out of anything. They're gonna get you. If they think they're a little bit, if they think they got leverage on you, they'll use it. And they'll eat you. They're all animals are black-pilled. That's the moral. You don't want to get in a political argument with any of them. No.

They take it very personally. Rip your tail off and beat you to death with it. Kerry Groves said, I would have considered going on a date with Denzel before I listen to the episode. Oh, my. Teraful blowies and who cares what the fuck? On I, Rage, I, on I, on ironically misogynistic, as I've never heard anyone say, low as low and rhymes with coal. I've only heard it said, low. So I guess you were right on that one, John. Yeah, I was just thought it was law,

but then you start saying, lol and I completely lost confidence in myself. And I think I started saying lol. And then I brought up later that I said, I'm gonna listen. Law. What does a guy have to do to get your attention? Let me see.

What about this guy? Do you like this? Is that appeal to you at all? No. The guy with the diaper of the Dixho logo, the Japanese diaper, it's cultural. It is cultural. It shows that he's confident. Look at his stare. Look at those eyes. He looks confident, but comforting. Too confident. Too confident. It's probably pat. Look at how long, look at how long of a cloth he cut here. Yeah. Could be packing

a lot That's not that doesn't appeal to you either Trouble it behind your face. I got a list of nah, that's cool. Okay. I like it There's the mouth part the fly Yeah, oh, we're gonna get back into this conversation early I'm trying to figure out what you like. Do you like free stuff? Free stuff? Yeah.

I mean, what do you mean, free stuff? Okay, does it like free stuff? Already suspicious, I can't because she's it. You're left in the strings of touch. Define the fight. Define free. God damn, you've been in LA too. You're not a real serious.

You're not a serious. I'm gonna answer you. I'm gonna answer you. Oh, huge wall. The biggest wall. Yeah. What about like a giant text? What about like a giant text?

If a guy were to just text you like two paragraphs of how much he loves you and how special you are and how much you have in common. Again, that was just right out the window. What if he was, okay. It's very tough. I don't even know if I know what I like at this point. Oh, yeah. You better pick one. Uh-uh. No. No. Yeah, because the default is cats. So don't you

look like a man made out of cats. What did you like that? No. I mean, if you had a cat, I wouldn't mind if he had a cat. That would be cute. There's a man we're talking about. Yeah, I feel like that spells trouble, right? The guy with the cat, that's like... Like I think so, but that's just my prejudice. Yeah, you mean too. I'm trying to get better realizing my own prejudices in this election season. I turned into a huge prick.

Like I really did. I mean, even like now I hear about, I don't know what happened. I think it was arguing with that fuckhead destiny, just made me, like I had this sudden overwhelming shit of piphany. It was like, man, I really hate what, I really hate what all this has turned into and I hate arguing points about politics anymore

because it's fucking stupid. So you think it'll actually probably make you a little bit more of a serene person. Maybe I say that in all seriousness. Me too. Yeah. Like, uh, why was I talking about this? What did you say? I don't remember those long time. It cats something about cats. Something about cats. Yeah. Prejudices. Yeah. Yeah. There we go. I think we got to start deescalating. I'm doing my part to really. I mean, what I'm doing my part to really? I mean, what do you want to fight about it? Yeah, maybe.

What do you mean, really? I just, I haven't known you deescalate that much. That's sort of not your thing. It's too much. It's too cool now to just be pissed off about politics all the time. I don't like it anymore. You're bucking the trend.

Yeah, I want to, it's a exhausting, yeah, it's exhausting, man. I don't like it anymore. You're bucking the trend. Yeah, I want to It's a It's a It's a It's a It's a It's a It's a It's a It's a It's a It's a It's a It's a

It's a It's a It's a It's a It's a It's a It's a It's a It's a It's a It's a It's a It's a It's a It's a

It's a It's a It's a It's a It's a It's a It's a It's a It's a It's a It's a It's a It's a It's a It's a It's a It's a It's a It's a It's a the viewership's to be I'm protesting my fucking fantasy league getting killed. Yeah. Yeah. That's tough. Sean's dogs taking a beating every week. So far. That's the name of his you know that. No, that's not even my fantasy. No. Yeah. Everybody's had their

turn. Wipping on Sean. So it's apparently it's winning every week. Yeah. No. Sean's dong is getting stomped. Oh. Sean's dong's come up short every week. Don't know what it likes. Oh man. Sean's dong can't get the job done. No. No.

No. No. Sean's dong has been a big disappointment. Oh boy. To me and probably other people in the league. Well, that ruined the metaphor, but yeah. They ruined it, yeah. Granted, but...

What are you gonna do about it? Sean's dong's made a lot of mistakes. Oh yeah. Yeah. Yeah. What do you like funny guys? Are you one of those girls? I'll take a funny guy.

Oh, you take a knife and not even thrilled about it. Oh, this is not too hot. This is what it is. Girls I'll take a funny guy. I take even not even thrilled about it This is what it is You can't sell a beautiful woman anything. You know I appreciate it. How free? You like funny guys I can take them really yeah really You're body your mind and your bodies unified and bursting forth with release and laughter. Take it or leave it. Okay. What do you have a celebrity you like?

Is it Kevin Hart? No. Oh my god. No, like you don't know it. Like you don't even have to know them. Like I'm just trying to get any information. I mean, Cristiana Ronaldo's pretty sexy. The fuck is?

Oh, okay. Sorry. All right. Do you like athletes? No, I mean, Cristiano Ronaldo's. Who the fuck is that? Oh, okay. Sorry. Sorry. All right. Do you like athletes? No, I mean. God damn it. I mean, Dick. I mean, how athletic.

How athletic. Yeah, how athletic are we talking? Yeah, how are we talking? Yeah. Why, what do you like about him? He doesn't speak English. Does he speak English? He speaks English.

Oh, you know, okay. Yeah. What do you like about him? He's just very good to look at. Like a pirate? Kind of like a short-haired pirate? He's very well-growned. Do you ever have a fantasy about him like seeing you on the side of a soccer game and

pausing the match going, you, instead, Benga and Aki. Is he Spanish? Ronaldo? Yeah. Ronaldo key. Is he Spanish? Ronaldo? Yeah, Ronaldo. Or is he Italian? No, he's not. He's in Yola.

A Benga key. That's terrible. I don't know that though. I don't know exactly. Oh, you don't know anything about the man, but you're in love with Christian Ronaldo? I'm not. He might be Spanish. He's not.

What if he was not our art attendant? I was just looking so. Did you know somebody on the, do you know what he did before he played soccer? You don't know. He was a lawyer. Yeah, I know very well. I know that. And Australia with a pickup truck.

Yeah. Was he, is he Spanish? I've got to be right. I think some Argentinian. I don't know. What do you imagine when you picture him calling you down in the field? I do not know anything.

Do you imagine singing you like us doing a dance and all the soccer men doing like a choreographed dance for you, like a like a Bollywood movie? No. No. No. No. You can honestly look at me and say that you've never

imagined that in your life. Absolutely not. That's crazy. Yeah, right. A sacredized dance by a soccer team. Yeah, all the guys in their short shorts doing a dance about how much they're he's and he's like their leader. And he's like a he's Portuguese. Yeah, basically, basically Spanish.

And then you have like a bunch of Pilates and structures. He does Pilates. I would love to teach him Pilates. That would be great. So that would be my ideal client. So that's your fantasy. You get a call, a secret benefactor wants a secret Pilates lesson because he's embarrassed because he's so manly.

So rich. Yeah. Rich turns her on. No, Sean. No, Sean. Yeah. Don't be silly. He can pay for Pilates lessons. And he's like, I'm embarrassed in my image. I don't want to be seen doing Pilates. So I want to do it in my mansion and Portugal Portugal. I would definitely come on.

I would try to client. And he's found you because of this would definitely be able to fly you in. I would definitely be able to fly you in. I would definitely be able to fly you in. I would definitely be able to fly you in. I would definitely be able to fly you in. I would definitely be able to fly you in. I would definitely be able to fly you in. I would definitely be able to fly you in. I would definitely be able to fly you in.

I would definitely be able to fly you in. I would definitely be able to fly you in. I would definitely be able to fly you in. I would definitely be able to fly you in. I would definitely be able to fly you in. I would definitely be able to fly you in. I would definitely be able to fly you in. I would definitely be able to fly you in.

I would definitely be able to fly you in. I would definitely be able to fly you in. I would definitely be able to fly you in. I would definitely be able to fly you in. I would definitely be able to fly you in. I would definitely be able to fly you in. I would definitely be able to fly you in. I would definitely be able to fly you in. I would definitely be able to fly you in. And he's found you because of this show, because your prejudice. Yeah, but then he's like, I heard you, and I had to, I wanted you to be my pilates. You mentioned pilates.

And then you would like help him do pilates. Oh, all day. I would retire from. Lady, that's a ridiculous fan. OK, so look like Christian Ronaldo. Do pilates. And do you like a guy that does pilates? Okay, so it looked like Christian Ronaldo. Do Pilates. And you like a guy that does Pilates?

Yes. Jesus, I think you're into chicks. Pilates and cats. I'm not into chicks. Pilates. Pilates. I've done some Pilates. Have you?

Yeah. Matt or. Bar. Yeah, I was really good at it. Bar. Bar, but like drunk bar. Bar, you're out of bars. No, bar, eh?

You fucking asshole. You have done bar. Bitch, don't give me that fucking... You have done bar. How are you up? Can you get your leg? I kicked over the moon one time. No.

This guy off. We were all having a Pilates. Pilates and bar are completely different. No, they guy. We were all having a Pilates. Pilates and bar are completely different. No, they're not. They are not the same. It's six in tight pants working out. They're all the same. In Pilates pants?

Yeah. I don't refer to workout pants as yoga. This guy came around, he's doing cat calls, being real insensitive, like kicked his ass. Right over the moon. Take two more, girls. I'll take care of this. And they all said, I don't like when over the move. Take two more, girls, I'll take care of this. And they all said, I don't like when guys do that.

Defend the honor. And I said, I'm reading right between the lines. I'll take care of this. And I went outside and kicked his ass with my Pilates moves. Just good, those are cool day. Mixing in a little Ronaldo soccer moves for good measure. Yeah, right. Is that how you, is that how you would defend your honor? Firsting in a little Ronaldo soccer moves for good measure. Yeah, right. Is that how you, is that how you would defend your honor

for shooting a Ronaldo? Bye. Like, like, busting out a bag of soccer balls and kicking them out guys. Like, do you ever picture, do you ever dream about that? Like, guys are like surrounding you to like mug you or whatever they're doing and he pulls over in his limousine

and gets out of a bunch of soccer balls. He's like, don't worry, like, I'll save you. His driver just sets them up right down a line. Yeah. He puts out some cones. Yeah. No. He runs up to the people and just puts cones. Yeah. Trump did that one time. Yeah. He did. He did. Trump did that. Yeah. For real. I don't believe it. He saw a mugging happening. He jumped out and shouted at the guy. He ran away. That's a true story.

Now he's doing it to North Korea. Pretty much the same thing. He's all in danger. Yeah, danger. Danger of what? Being great. Again. Lazy, you got to stand up to these guys. They'll walk all over you. That's true. Yeah. Just saying. Just say, Christian Ronaldo, huh? So basically like the perfect male specimen. What are you into? I would say it's perfect. Alright, I'll beat this to death. Everybody thanks for listening. Go to go to the website. But do you have anything that makes you rage? Mr. Francis Pants? Well, don't make about some shit about traffic.

No, no, I don't make sense. Traffic, a jerk. I don't know that lately it's been insurance companies, but you guys are probably rage about that, I bet. What kind of insurance? Mine lately's been, all of them, but homeowners specifically. Yeah. Yeah.

Why? Well, because I found out like, you know, it has been all of them, but homeowners specifically. Yeah. Yeah. Well, because I found out, like, you know, well, first of all, my whole house flooded. I don't know how to tell you that. Yeah, yeah. Where do you live in Texas? You can't part of that. I live in Texas. Were you giving yourself a sympathy flood?

I was. I was. I was so liberal. Solidarity. For solidarity. I was like, I'm in a flood. Changing my house. Changing my Facebook profile picture isn't enough. I just clogged up all the drains and I flooded my house.

Yeah, that's cool. So yeah, so it flooded your house. Yeah, well, my neighbor flooded my house, which was even better. Okay. So yeah, but I found out that like in California, like I was like, oh, the neighbor's insurance will take care of it now.

Your neighbor's insurance will not take care of it. It falls under your insurance to take care of it, even if your neighbor, it was their pipe, nothing to do with me. Yeah. And yeah, no, it seriously pissed me off because it was been like three and a half months of trying to get my house back to normal.

You know, and there's no time for any of it. Yeah. There's just no, any time. Cutting my walls out, cutting like, yeah, it was nuts. Does anything happen to your insurance rates? Oh, yeah. Well, that was the other thing. They're like, well, yeah, with this claim, we might end up dropping you, will you know? Because I had another claim while back. Similar thing, but that one was my pipe. But yeah, they're like, we might drop you. And I'm like, I have no control over what my

neighbor does. And they're like, yeah, but, you know, you have a claim. Yeah, you have a claim. We don't want to actually have to pay out. I mean, why would you just give us money? And then we take no risk whatsoever. Why would we? Yeah. Why would we keep that on? We're not, we don't, there should be no risk in business.

Right. Especially after years and years and years of paying in, of course. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Or the, or the, or the quarter slot machine just became a dollar to play. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Well, that sucks. Yeah.

Yeah. No, and raises my rates, of course, even if they don't drop me. The rates go. Oh, yeah, well, no, that's perfectly, that's, they should do that. I mean, they shouldn't take any risk whatsoever. Yeah.

All right. You got anything you want to plug? Yeah, sure, actually, I have, since the last time I was here, I felt like I didn't have anything to plug. So I wrote a book between then and now. Okay. Yeah, hot down. No, I'm like, I don't care about it next time. No, I seriously, no, actually, since the last time I was here, I felt like I didn't have anything to plug. So I wrote a book between then and now. Okay. No, I don't like it.

I don't like it. I don't like it. No, I seriously don't like it. It's dead, man. No, I seriously have a book on Amazon. It's I wrote it all. Wait, you did? Yeah, I wrote it all.

What the fuck did you write a book? I don't know, like, I probably like a year, year and a half ago. What is it about? Yeah, he's very, he's a secret. I am a secret. What the fuck are you writing? It's what I'm about. I knew about this. But it's on new, yeah, he knew about it. I haven't read it. I mean, he's very, he's a secret mother. I am a secret mother. Yeah, he's woke about. I knew about this. But it's on new, yeah, he knew about it.

I haven't read it. I mean, I've been offered it. I tried to give it to you for free and you were like, well, I think it's like, well, how free? Yeah, he wasn't, he wasn't, he wasn't happening. And he's like, well, string, string. I'm holding out for Cristiano Ronaldo in the book. Yeah.

Is it about picking up rods? It is not. No, it's, you know, it's a bloody book. It's bloody. Yeah. Wait, you wrote a you know, it's a fictitious. It's bloody. It's bloody. Yeah. Wait, you wrote a fiction book? Yeah. Read between the lines. I know, right? I have secrets. You what? Like a novel? Yeah. Like a man. You wrote a, like a story.

I'm confused. You are right. Yeah. Okay. With a, like a story. Yeah. Like, with characters that you made up in your brain. No, yes, maybe. Well, it's fiction. Yeah, it is. Is it like a Lord of the Rings? It's actually fan fiction. No, I'm just I'm it's not fucking with me. There's the most he's care about anything. Stop it. Yeah. What do you mean you wrote a book? You're, I wrote a book with, you know. What is it about? What's the setting?

Is it like about a guy? Is it about you basically? Is it about you? Basically about, did you name like Nancy Pants or something? Yeah, Nancy Pants. About how the world doesn't understand you? That.

Yes. What is it about? It, well, it like, it's not fucking frustrating. But what me? Yeah. Yeah, no, I'm frustrating. What is it about? No, it's about sort of a, you know, like a sort of black comedy coming of age sort of thing, you know, I can you say that again without all those extra words? I'm going to have a heart going to play in the human heart? Yes.

No, it's okay. What is your book about? I know. Give me a second. No, it's generally about like this character. I know. I know. This isn't going to go well because you made me craft the whole time.

Just don't answer. What is it about? Just get the website link. What's the title, let's start there. It, the title is pushing up crazies, which I was, Oh. It's about, okay, I'll tell you what it's about. It's about a guy. It's about a gardening man.

It is. It is. No, it's all about, that's the quarter Mexican in him. It's about a botanist. Yeah. No, it's all about a guy that basically finds out he is, like a, not that it's the newest idea on earth

But a guy that finds out done. I'm telling my own idea, right? You're cutting it down. I know. No, okay You do it and then I'll do it quickly, so you know Okay, we go. Yeah, you're better at this than I am That's why it doesn't you know because I'm a liar. That's true That's true. No, so it's about it's about a guy that finds he has like a terminal prognosis basically and it's sort of that like dealing with that and sort of all the aftermath that comes out of that Of having a terminal prognosis. Yeah, he's gonna die. He is gonna die. What is he gonna die of? Well, it's cancer. Oh He's got cancer. Yeah, you find that at early. What a ripoff dying of cancer. Oh

Man, I don't want to be a downer, but Consuelo is cancer. No shit. Yeah. Oh, that is it. That is it. I wish I hadn't said that right now. This is huge downer.

Yeah. I'm out this week. Shit. That's a bummer. Yeah. Prognosis. I don't know. I don't know.

Just started on Kimo. That's rough. Yeah. Prognosis? I don't know. I don't know. Just started on K-mo. Yeah, that's rough. Well, yeah. So, I gotta fold my own laundry this week, I guess. Oh, my. Jesus. See, your book's about a guy who gets cancer. Yeah.

I hope there is a hell so you can go to it. No. No. I'll see you there, Sean. I know. Well, I'll be there. Does he deal with it by drinking? Well, I mean, yeah, I mean, there's all, like, that's not the point of the book.

But sure, everyone I think would deal with something like that with some drinking, right? I don't know. I don't know if I'd want to drink. Why do I want to read this book? Why do I need to read this book? Pushing up crazy. Will it fix what's wrong with me? Oh, I don't think you can do that.

This book, let me show you how to do it correctly. This has gotten sideways. This book is, it's about a guy who everything goes wrong for him. It's about a guy who everything goes wrong for him. He's got a he's got a thriving flowers business. He sells flowers. All day and night to support his drugs and a horing habits at night. And he finds out he's got money cancer. Money cancer, okay.

It's a terminal diagnosis. His money has cancer and he has cancer. So if, and it can happen to you, yeah, that's what's important to remember. It can happen and you can relive, you can live his struggles. And then you can pretend like they happened to you. And you can learn these lessons.

It's called pushing up crazies. Available now on Amazon. Do you like writers? Is it writer apparently? Oh no, well, okay, sure. I wrote a book so I guess I'm a writer. I still think you're bullshit- Shitting.

I swear to God, you can, all right. Well, let's see if we can get a review of it. You got anything you're gonna plug in Lacey Thank you for coming. You can be a love show Nothing Sean. You got anything you want to plug? No. All right. Everybody. This is a dick show long We got to do bonus episode this week, too. Okay. Okay. Okay. We can do that. Thanks for listening See you next Tuesday. Presenting. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Let's see what I got in the voice mails department. Oh boy. Dick, what makes me a rage from Eugene Organ is waiting on that first paycheck.

You're often times when you get a new job, you're moving, you're transitioning in a lot of ways in life, and many of those transitions require having to prove your income. And apparently you're getting a new fucking job. It complicates the process and not that's when compounded. Probably the already, let's face it, the anxiety of doubt because you don't fucking know. It's possible that anybody is. Your front of them is in a situation where you've worked maybe even two weeks, maybe even a month for somebody without a dollar.

Yeah. And it's like, well, they're going to give me money. Eventually, eventually, I put everything around the fucking line and wait just waiting on that first check. Yeah. That's very first fucking check. It's always, it's always you too. You're always the one that's got to wait and pay up front. Yeah.

Yeah. It's the, this is pervasive feeling of having absolutely no power or hand or leverage. Any time ever and everyone is constantly reminding you of it constantly and it's driving me insane. That's you are talking about my life buddy. Yeah. Yep. Hey, you never have never have a hand.

You start when you start Monday, oh cool, when do I get paid? Whatever we got. 2020, you like it. You start when, you start Monday. Oh, cool. When do I get paid? Whatever we got, 2020. I don't know if you like it. You could pay it in six months. We're gonna, we're gonna give you this stub though. Hmm.

That's a promise. How about this insurance? Well, you got to pay right now. When do I get my payout? Never. No. You never get that. Okay, I'll just go log onto my social media

and complain about it. Oh, your band. Well, they can do whatever they want You don't you don't have you don't have anything No, you don't fucking anything Not you're not unless you're one of them. Yeah I'll go talk to this I'll go talk to this beautiful girl. Are you Christian and although? No, well I got news for you buddy hit the bricks That's life What wait for something else pay check now

Two weeks three weeks. Oh, there was there was a mistake. How come you guys don't ever suffer for the mistake? Yeah No, never do we lost all you we lost all of your credit and your social security number. And you've been paying for an identity guard service to stop this for 10 years, 20 years, for whatever. We lost it anyway because we put somebody with a music degree and charge of our information technology. Whoops. Whoops. We'll give you a free year of charge of our information technology. Whoops. Whoops. We'll give you a free year of our identity guard

that works so well. Why don't you give it to me forever? Well, why don't you just burn your whole selves up? Just burn your whole building down. Everybody working there. Everybody working there, shoot the guy above you until there's no, except start at the top. Just you shoot yourself and then no one else,

then everybody move up and just keep, don't you wish life was like that, that people on that level really suffered for their mistakes. I'm telling you man, somebody's gonna figure it out. It just takes one for a guy to say, yeah, my contract is if there's any fuck ups, I will get a finger cut off. And their stock will shoot to the moon. Just basic motivation.

That's a real like, that's not a real base instinct level. Like you need your digits. You want those, you want to keep those. And you could survive without one. You could lose a pinky. Yeah, you know, people do it all the time. That's what I, somebody's going to figure that out. And then everybody's going to do it.

Like, oh, yeah. That worked for, that worked for Yahoo. They put that guy in there who said if any data breaches happen, he could, he would chop his finger off. You do it. We're paying you $50 million. Do it. That's what, that's isn't this your purpose?

You don't do, never though. No, never. When's our time? Never have any past. Past. Different era. Getting dark, but God, it's so frustrating, man. I think if you don't have some darkness,

if you're not seeing the world as kind of bleak and society is kind of bleak, I just kind of don't think you're paying attention. Yeah. If you don't have that urge to just grab one person every day and just scream at them until all their skin flies off like in Raiders of the Lost Dark

and their eyeballs melt, then you're not paying attention. You're part of the problem. Doesn't mean you can't find this in the parts, but getting better. By the way. Just met at the on the road. Cool.

Dick, you make me a rage. Not because of anything you actually did this week. I got my wisdom teeth pulled, and then I made the mistake of listening to the dictionary show while I was driving. And you made me use my talk more than I really should have. Voto i'll to be and then afterwards to a little which made me

and again will be much more than i should so now i'm just in pain and very quietly raising about it but yourself wisdom teeth man whenever that's a don't ever bring that up Go fuck yourself. Wisdom teeth, man. All right. Don't ever bring that up. Yeah, okay. You never hear, once people start talking about some things

they can never start talking about anything else. It's like a loop, like a defect in the human mind, like a code, the fake reality that Elon Musk made that we're all in. That's a bug. If you bring up wisdom teeth, that's all people will talk about until they go to sleep because it breaks their brain.

Oh really? Are you guys talking about wisdom teeth over here? Bop! Right in the face. No, we're not. We're not. Get away from us. We're not talking about wisdom teeth.

You don't, you do not talk about wisdom teeth. You miss her. That's it. We're talking about shisdom, meat. Yeah, everybody knows what that is. Yeah. It's a holy day and talking about a wisdom sheath for soonies that we use to jerk off.

It's called a wisdom sheath. That's what we're talking about. Yeah, right, right. It's a fulling of wisdom sheath. I'm a mature woman. There's a little bit looser than the flesh line. It's got dentures in the front that you take out before you use it. It's a wisdom sheet.

Listen up, Denzel. That's why we're not talking about wisdom teeth. Get the fuck out of here. All right, that's enough. I'll say. I'll say.