The Dick Show - Episode 7 – Dick on Guns

Episode Date: July 19, 2016

Download MP3 Belt-o-phobes, Pokeman Go, guns, Hot Goss on Tim Changzzzzz, The Rage Lottery, more trans issues, a caller asks how to meet girls in a world dominated by the Beautiful Ones, and Sean’s audio equipment fails completely and needs to be replaced. Thank Trump for all my Dick Supporters on Patreon; all this week … Continue reading "Episode 7 – Dick on Guns" The post Episode 7 – Dick on Guns appeared first on The Dick Show.

Yeah, yeah, welcome to the dick show. You need dick, you want dick? It's here. Love dick. You got it. The show where everything is a contest, time your host, you want Dick? It's here. Love Dick, you got it. The show where everything is a contest, time your host, Dick Masterson, with me is always a shun. Hey, Dick's shun's having a rough day. Nothing's working for you today, is it, buddy?

Or yesterday. Hey, what's up, buddy? And with me today is Joe, Star, a very, very funny man. And I am sure a rage. Yeah, I get it. I'm gonna reach down. You're gonna reach, you're gonna dig deep and find that. Look, you guys rebuilt your audit.

We're recording purely on duct tape right now. I wish. And I've been off brand duct tape. I'm gonna bring that to you guys. Yeah, everything went to hell last night for Sean. All of Sean's bargain basement equipment from the 80s that he's piece that he carries around in a coffin.

All of his audio equipment from the professional audio engineer. The last stand of Radio Shack. All died. All of Sean's Radio Shack frequent customer card. All died. Do you know what happened? What happened? I started working on podcasts.

That was a mistake. You should've used mistakes. You should've stayed in Latin music. Yeah, you should've stuck with those ham radio. But money in that. You went the wrong way. You went from Latin rock. Like, were you recording like accordions and ranchero shit?

No. Well, you didn't know. When I think Mexican pop music, that's what I think. These were rockin' us banal records with the best session players in town. And you were doin' them. I was doin' this. Now you're doin' this.

What a fuckin' idiot. I know you shit, that's what I'm talkin' more. I gotta put up a levels. I gotta put up a new Patreon call to get Sean new equipment. Like, do you understand that we can do this? We don't have to deal with this shitty Latin American music equipment that you have. We can do this? We don't have to deal with this shitty Latin American music

equipment that you have. We can get real American Japanese made equipment. Right. Because the Patreon, the patreon.com slash the Dix show is so successful. Sean, I can buy you equipment. That's what I'm doing. And that's definitely what we're doing today.

Oh, you're gonna get something for next week. Oh, I should have just left when you got here to buy equipment. So we could have been rolling a half hour ago. Yeah. That's always, that's a life lesson. You're going to fries. Yeah. No, buddy.

Maybe on the Dixia, we go to guitar center. Yes. You know what? On the Dixia, on the Dixia, we get extended warranties. Because we're guitar. That's what we do. That's how big this Patreon is. That's how big this Patreon is.

That's how big this Patreon is. Yeah. Huge. All right. Let me get to what makes me a rage, because I've been dicking around a lot at the front of the show, and I end up, I end up with a bunch of topics after the show that I'm like, fuck, I didn't get to that.

Fuck, I didn't get to that. I got six or seven of them. Which in itself could be a fucking rage. Shit, you thought of after the fact. Exactly. Joe, you speak the language of the show already. You understand what's going on with the show. I've, I've, I've, I've constructed a way where I can bring in my friends and have them compete against each other and shouting contest in a really shitty way.

And I call it a search for a co-host. Yeah. That's what we're doing here. It's the best possible Thunderdome. I'm here. I get it. Yes, welcome to the Thunderdome. I know you're going to do well. I think you're going to take on Denzel. I think you're going to challenge Denzel Walks

who's topping out the rage charts right now. Let me start with what makes me a rage this week, okay? Belt of fobs. Guys who do not wear belts. Have you ever met a man who doesn't wear a belt? Have you ever met a man who doesn't wear a belt? Have you ever seen a man who doesn't wear a, let me rephrase it, have you ever seen a man sitting at a table like a question mark so that his entire ass

is spilling out the back of his pants? Where do these guys, do these guys think that they're on to something that the rest of us don't know about belts, that we're all wasting our time, like that they've got it figured out, and we don't, because I for one, and- And you don't need a belt? Yes. Yeah, like they've cheated, they've cheated time. They've cheated the system.

They were all suckers for spending wasting our time applying these belts in their points. They're just walking out into the world as though they've got one over on the system, on big belt. They're not gonna wear a belt. And it fucked, and it fucks everybody except them because everybody's got to look at that.

I was at, I was having a magical evening, a magical date night with 80s girl. Set this up. We went to Avenue Q, the offensive puppet musical. And for me, personally, that is like my, that's heaven for me. Puppets, puppets doing, I wish everyone and everything in the world was replaced by puppets. Puppets sex is what you saw. I saw a lot of puppets.

I wish I was you were replaced by a puppet. I wish you were replaced by puppets. Puppets sex is what you saw. I saw a lot of puppets. I wish I was you were replaced by a puppet. I wish you were replaced by a puppet. I just all I wanna see is puppets doing everything. So a puppet musical, oh baby. It's puppets swearing, but puppets saying racist things. It was heaven after the musical. We go out for a nice expensive dinner, right? I'm Mr. Moneybags.

I'm, I'm writing, I'm, I'm paying for everything. And that's a successful Patreon. Just like I'm gonna be paying for this audio equipment after the show. Yeah. What do we see? What do we see when we get seated down at the restaurant? This sausage-packed tub of shit is sitting across from us with his shirt pulled halfway up his back, his dress shirt pulled halfway up his back and and six inches of ass spilling into

the restaurant. And this is a nice place. This is, you know what it is? It's one of those, it's a nice place on the check, but it's built to look like a shitty place. Got it. And that's what, that pisses me off as well. Because I think that's encouraging these belt of fobs from, from dressing down. Right.

Like it used to be, used to be you'd have to wear a fucking suit, right? Yeah. And I don't, I don't want to have a pocket watch. I get that. I like to slum it up a little bit, but there's a fucking line. And that line is the belt. It's the first piece of clothing invented. Guys, you need it. to slum it up a little bit, but there's a fucking line, and that line is the belt. It's the first piece of clothing invented.

Guys, you need it. That's what makes me a rage this week. You know what else makes me a rage? Give it. Corporate sl activism. Well. Corporate sl activism. That is, so Google, Google pops this, I don't know, are you guys aware that it's emoji

day? It's world emoji day. So that makes me angry a little bit. Why? They don't need a day. The bone just don't need a day. Mojis haven't done anything to deserve a day. There's a day for everything now though.

Yeah. They got to keep the Twitter machine moving. Yeah. World emoji day. Google, Google post this. They sent, this is Google's message to the world on, on emoji day. Google, Google post this. They sent, this is Google's message to the world on, on emoji day. It's world emoji day. Teen, teen girls, this is for everybody to consume. Teen girls, code an emoji that's unique to you. And then there's a link on how to get teen girls

into coding. Because they got a code an emoji that this is what, this is what 80% of the world sees. When they log into the internet, is a message on world emoji day that girls need to code more and that coding is somehow related to drawing stupid little pictures that you text to your friends. Yeah, now I don't mind coding

and like learning a your friends. Yeah, now I don't mind coding and like learn in a new skill. Yeah. But apply it to something fucking worthwhile. Not a, not a, not a, there's a car commercial, have you seen the, there's a car commercial where the, the set up is it's a focus group. And they're like, we want you to react to this car, but you can only type in emojis.

Really? Yeah. It's on Hulu. It drives me fucking insane, where it's just like, the car goes by and some girls like, ooh, and she like puts in a heart and a devil and she's like, because the car's gonna suck that in there. I want to suck that in there. It makes me naughty.

Yeah. Here's my problem with Google's world emoji day. It's, first of all, it's annoying to me that their only purpose anymore is running social issues, like progressive social issues. Every single fucking time I hear anything about Google and code, it's encouraging girls to code, encouraging girls to code. As though, as though, first all, somehow, this will what, make a generation of coders that will come up with more apps that you can order soap in the shower with?

Like, what is the, all they wanna do, all they're saying with that as a man looking at that? I'm like, well, what the fuck, what about all the men that already learned that at code? What about your entire workforce? What are you saying? What about their emojis? Yeah, what about their emojis?

It's fucking brainwashing. Coding is in barbies. They want you to code an emoji that's more like you, but all they have is pictures of emoji barbies, like a picture of a woman doctor, picture of a woman lawyer, a woman bullfighter. Like all it is is to, didn't you?

President Barbie emoji. President Barbie emoji, that's all they're fucking doing and they're brainwashing everybody. Like, what are you, what are you supposed to read? How are you supposed to react to that as a little boy growing up in a world where the home page your internet home page tells you your services are not required. So what is it you want? Do you want no, do you want better emojis for everybody? Do you want quit sneaking that shit in?

All every single time look, Google has a monopoly on my eyeballs. And all they're doing is sticking it to me with these progressive ideas that they know is gonna get them re. They don't need this. It's like when Starbucks did, let's race together. Do you remember that campaign? They wanted to open the door to discuss racial issues over your overpriced Frappuccino. I do remember this.

I don't want that. I spend all day trying to escape that because I'm a straight man. I'm getting chiseled at all day from all angles. Like I'm an industrious working straight man. Stop fucking chiseling me. You know, at the end of the day with all that stuff, like that's a race and the girl coding thing, all these companies owned by straight white guys. Yeah. If you really want

a progressive, like, straight white guys employed by brown straight men, figure out, get thin from wherever on H1B visas anyway, please go ahead. I mean, if you really wanna be like, we're gonna let girls, like the fuck a Barbie emoji, like teach girl business class. Yeah, teach them how to not run up your credit card. Clat, like Google has all the data. I don't know, like I don't buy their social progressive narrative. They did the same shit with Black Lives Matter.

And it's like, okay, Google, so where do go when I want to look up the incarceration rates by race and the murder rates by race? I go to you. So you have all the data. Don't bullshit me and say that I need to do anything. You own the entire fucking world. You want to help girls code? Just hire them to code. Yeah. That's all you have to do. Don't tell them to draw stupid pictures on your website. You motherfuckers. Number number three. Number three that makes me rage.

Pokemon go. Are you playing Pokemon go? No, Sean, are you playing Pokemon go on any of your busted equipment? Oh, fuck you. This is the only thing that ever leaves the house. Pokemon show. It's stuff I take her on. It should go into the garage.

Pokemon Go make the stuff fall apart. You know what Pokemon Go is? I installed it to see what the deal is. First of all, I know exactly what it is. You know what it is. I know exactly what it is. Yeah, it's people, you look outside your house at about 10 p.m. You will see a bunch of what you think may be zombies. And what

they are is they're like teenage kids walking around two and three looking at their phones without saying anything crossing against the light, almost getting hit by cars. There's all kinds of problems with this fucking thing. Bro, I installed it. First of all, it's not only teenage guys. Everybody. It's women. Oh no, it's a shitload of broads. They're playing this game. Oh, yeah. I I cycled up to a Poke stop and a woman was approaching it too. And I like I I knew instantly that she was also playing the game because she had that retarded phased out half dead looking her eye. Yeah. I also had I was like, Hey, are you you looking for? You're doing the thing? You're looking for an onyx over here?

What's going on? But it was, if you're not hitting on girls with this game, you're fucking up. I'll tell you first of all, but secondly, it's a job. Everything about it reeks of a job. There's no game to it. You just, you walk around from one pointless place to another, the same pointless place is usually because

they're right where you live delivering documents. Well, this is all mobile gaming though. They're all a job. It's all, it's someday you better check it. You better check it on your city bill today. Yes. Because they're dying. Someday UPS is going to gamify their package delivering services.

And you're doing it. Yeah. And these throngs of idiots will just be shipping your parcels around. And they can't do a worse job than on track does already. Well, you've heard all the shit that's been going on with this thing, right? In like the week since it's been Pokemon Go,

people falling into the street, do people falling into ponds, people walking off cliffs, people finding dead bodies, somebody getting stabbed, a bunch of people getting robbed, because they lure them to those polka spots or whatever. And the lure's totally work. Of course they do. Yeah.

I just put it on as a test. Like I like to test myself. Like if somebody says, heroin's really addictive, I'll say, let me see. Let me, I'll tell you what's addictive, pal. Don't fucking try to scare me with his heroine's addictive shit. So I popped it on my phone, I think I like to test the devil. I put it on my phone and see, how far can I get into this, this Pokemans craze and pull myself out?

What's the point where it's too much Pokemans for me. So I put it on and it was a slow degradation into mindlessness from a human productive man into, oh, I gotta check out this Pokemans. And oh, I'm just gonna show these guys how stupid Pokemans go is. So they know, but really it's an excuse just to check it a little bit. Oh, the sudden, next thing you know, I'm reverse,

I'm driving in reverse in my car down the street because I thought I saw a manky pop up and I'm like, I need that motherfucker manky. I'm gonna throw it in reverse and tear ass down the street, looking at the Pokemans in one hand and kind of just crossing my fingers that no one's, I'm not driving it 100%. I'll tell you this, if you're driving drunk,

you're safer than driving while playing Pokemon's go. Somebody said that yesterday. I think they're way more distracted doing that. Also, you're fucking phone on it all while you're driving. I think you're a fucking idiot. Well, I'm a joke. I'm a video-realistic. Like, it's easy to say that, but come on.

Well, yeah, I know what's in the car. I know what's in the car. I know what's in the car. I know what's in the car. You're right, the jokes in the car. You can't help yourself. Oh, no, no, I'm a terrible driver without the phone. I don't need the phone to make me a shit driver. That's just an additional, I don't need a Pokemon go to make me a terrible driver.

But yeah, that's what makes me rage this week, fellas. Isn't that something like where you can't go over 20 miles an hour? Well, the car like people are, like, people are, like, people are trying to run around and collect, but they know if you're going faster than like 20 miles an hour, so it won't work. Well, I'll tell you, I'm going to discover that this week. Yeah, I don't know. Do it backwards.

Yeah, they don't have it backwards. Yeah, yeah. I found a way that she's like taking miles off the Ferrari and Ferris Bueller's day off. Well, drive home backwards. Joe, you are a very funny man. Thank you. You are. Correct me if I funny man. You are correct me if I'm wrong. You are Emmy nominated. Apparently, no, yeah. I think you get a decent to

said audio. Are they hiring? And here on what you're Emmy nominated for is don't hire. There's long. Now, here's why I'm excited because your audience is going to hate me already. Anyway, oh, no, just because of my rage topics. But because your audience is going to hate me already anyway. Oh, no. Just because of my rage topics, but now they're just going to hate me for credits because I'm a writer for Screen Junkies, Honest Trailers, and people fucking hate us. Those are fucking hate us. I got to be superhero movies by and large. Sock.

Here's it. I'll go on record. They suck and you can't, you can't not see that now. Like, even in the depths of my soul, I want to see Batman v Superman, even though I know it's going to be a total piece of shit. It was hilariously fucking bad. But there's thing, you can't just, you can't hate something, you can't like something, there's no, I mean, we could just rage on this if you want.

Why do they hate you on a, on a trailer? Because you don't agree with them. Yeah, because they're true. Yeah, you've shouted the little fantasy world. Well, it's really weird because like, I've been introduced to just multiple levels of internet since writing for honest trailers. There are people that think that the voice that narrates them is legitimately just a guy that lives in his house and he writes them and he sits in his basement and records them. Like, there are people that buy the pro wrestling of honest trailers that are like, oh, that's

real. Like, the thing that's, that there's not a team that writes them and edits them and puts them up, it's just a dude in his house and they're like, fuck you on his trailer guy. And it's like, that's the magic and the worst part of celebrity, right? Because you get, you get somebody like Jenny McC Jenny McCarthy's an easy example or Alec Baldwin He's like, oh, yeah, that's the guy that saved America a bunch of times and then he gets he gets off running his mouth and calling his daughter a fat pig Yeah, and you're in your mind. I'm like, no, but he saved America. It's all right. Yeah, yeah I remember that he was like, what's shut this fucking asshole up? No, it's

It's amazing. You can't I mean this might be a bigger internet problem in general, you can't have like a nuanced conversation on the internet. It's either fuck you or you're great. Like those are the two levels. Like we're doing right now. Yeah, you know, I mean, and that's our bread and butter. I understand that. But, you know, we didn't like Batman for Superman.

Let's say, and of all the things to give a fuck about, to the level that people give a fuck, like we get dick picks, we get deathwin' and sorry, we get death threats. Yeah, we had a guy this week just send us a picture of his dick, because we don't like Superman. And it just of all the things that you're like, this is my hell.

I don't want to read all these emails because I get so much hate mail from them. Do you know that I wrote a book called Man and Better Than Women? Yeah. Yeah. Okay. I get obviously so much hate mail from that. I would rather get, I would rather people just want me to get it. Because I don't read the email. Yeah. Every person that sends me hate mail, if it's a guy I just deleted, if it's, and I can tell right away, if it's a girl, I say,

gotta pick question mark. Nice. And then they'll always send me back, what the fuck do you mean a pic, blabbery, blabbery, blabbery, blabbery, and I'll say, well, it's simple, I just don't read email from women without a picture. And I think about 50% of the time,

they'll send a picture based on that. But none of them can imagine a scenario wherein I didn't read their email in the first place. Right, and it's the same with this. Like you'd use it. It's so important. It's the same. I don't have a billion other emails to read today.

I need to read an email where the subject line is, fuck you, you dickless cock sucker. I'm pretty sure I can send that one to the trash, you retarded bitch. Well, most recent on his trailer, Ghostbusters 2. Ghostbusters 2, not a good movie. We remember being a good movie because we grew up with it.

We were babies and we laughed at it, but structurally bad movie. It's a retread of the first one, beat for beat. It's not great. They were incredible. The cartoon had come out, so they told it down. The cartoon was great. The cartoon was great, but Ghostbusters 2 versus Ghostbusters 1,

they tried to make it feel more like a cartoon, and it suffers because of that. And holy shit, you'd think I had gone to every one of their grandparents house and just told their grandmothers that all the Baptist shit in their house like wasn't real and God was dead. Like and just or just like shaking their babies until their brains rattled. Oh please do all of that. That's the that's our next on his trailer spin off I think is where we just go to houses like the end of a I don't know which clerks was that when Jay and Silent Bob actually

like talked to? I don't think that was a clerks. Was that not a clerks? No, no, I think that was something else. Oh, was it Strikes Back? Well, yeah, yeah. It was Strikes Back. Okay, let me go over some stuff from last.

I got to run down this episode because my organizational skills are slightly below absolute shit. Couldn't tell. So I, you agree, you're nodding like yeah. So I roll down everything that I want to cover because you're right. When you get through with a good rage session and you have stuff left over, it's festers in you.

Like a pearl of hate. It's like having an argument and you think is something great to yell at the person. But you already broke up with them. Yeah, yeah, exactly. Fuck, I gotta get back together with them and then go through another three months and try to engineer this scenario

where this argument will come up again. Yeah, I can hit them with this. I gotta wait 10 years until we reconnect on Facebook. Yeah. Okay, last week, last week we had Joan Ford on. Right. This is what I'm doing now. I've got, everyone's got a rage factor from the votes

because we vote, the audience votes. They're very high energy audience. Joan got a rage factor of 3.4. Out of 10. Okay, not bad. Not bad. People had, she's a trans woman. People didn't have a problem with the trans woman part.

They did have a problem with the likes. You don't know how many of those I took out. Yeah. How ballpark it? 50%. Oh, 50% out of so about 600 billion. What? Yeah.

It was gonna take for it. It would have taken two days to edit that shit down. Okay. There were sometimes there were three likes in a row before any other word. You know what I'm talking about? Should I even bother saying this? What do you mean?

Well, I mean, I don't know, if Jones listening, I don't want her to feel totally self-conscious about the way she talks. Well, why? That's the step to getting to improving yourself. People tell me I have a small fucking face every day. That's true. I try to just stretch it out.

We'll have face out. Yeah. I had to work on life. I like shitty audio equipment. I still have. Isaac, can I help you get better? No. You had a problem with legs? I had a problem with legs. I had to work really hard to sort of cut down. How'd you do it? I really just sort of had to stop talking and really take those pauses and take them out because they start replacing a commas for you. They become placeholders and like and like and like. Well, they give you time to think.

Yeah, it's like that. You know what? I think the opposite happens. I think if you start getting into a like, if you start getting some like momentum, it forces you to think faster. Really? And, and, and,

and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and,

and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and,

and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, saying same thing and still shouting at each other. Yes, shut the fuck up listen to me We're not comfortable with silence anymore and just thinking for a fucking second. Yeah, yeah, especially on that radio Yeah, that's true. Here's some comments from last week. I mean that makes for a bad podcast

I guess just four minutes of us thoughtfully thinking before we launch into a round I think I think my life coach would listen to that podcast I guess just four minutes of us thoughtfully thinking before we launch into a round. I think, I think my life coach would listen to that podcast. If they told my life, because he doesn't listen to podcast, he doesn't fucking listen to my podcast for sure. He's, I played him one and he was like, too much shouting. I played him the night and I said, what did you think of the content? What are you doing in this storytelling?

I go, two bunch of, I was like, okay, too many notes. Go, go back to your IPAs, you motherfucker. Go back to your gun boards. Go back to gunbroker.net with your fucking rights, you asshole. Here's a comment from last time, Zach Owen, seven minutes in. I realized this episode isn't about trains. Oh, yeah, bit of an unintentional 180. But I can dig it. Alex, may, when will it be safe for me to come out as a trans-racial American? We need more heroes like Rachel Dolazal and Sean King. Get it?

Yeah. He wants to be, he's comparing wanting to be called a woman, wanting to be called by another race. Is that, I'm okay with that. Yeah, I mean. Because I'm a, I'm a happy, right? Like I'm a, you're a, you're a, you're a mud I'm a, you're 50, 50, you're a mud blood. Yes.

Well, they, you, they meaning, I guess wizards. Yeah. So I have no, I don't really have an attachment. I only have an attachment when it suits me, right? I'm fair. I'm Mexican when I want to be slimy with a woman. And I'm white when I want to like apply for a loan, but then I'm Mexican when I want to apply for a college loan.

But then I'm right, but then I'm like, when I want to talk about college, so maybe it's just maybe Mexican when you're questioned by the police and you don't speak English. I'm Mexican when I get pulled over for a DUI and the guys got all the res on his tag. Oh, yeah. Oh yeah. That's some great reverse. Yeah, usually Stoffson has a drink with you. Yeah. Sean, see, it's racist when you say, a Garth St. Rose.

When I say it. I wore a skirt for some, so I was saying that if you go in drag, if you're ever dressing in drag, chicks are into it. Like in a way that I wouldn't have thought at first, but having done it a couple times on stage. Yeah. A little too eager. I'm too eager. I'll do it. I'll do it. I'll do it. You got to get Nate. Someone's got to get naked. I'll do it. Having done it a couple times, I noticed that chicks are really into it. This guy, Garth St. Rose, says, I wore a skirt for some presentation in high school.

I was not a popular guy, but after that presentation, all the girls were coming up to me, giving me looks and smiles. And you know what? Because you're an actual fucking man. Because you're comfortable enough to fucking wear a dress for a minute and be like,

hey, this is fine. Yeah, good on you, kid. Yeah, good for you. Good on you in that presentation. So here was, I got a, there was an interesting comment last week that I wanted to talk about because it was, somebody said, somebody was making a big show of not wanting to call Joan a woman. Okay.

They said like, the term genital mutilators was being thrown around like he was, yeah, yeah, that's what I said. And he said, I refused to call him a hurr. And I was like, well, do we know that there was genital mutilation that's gone on? No, we don't. I mean, I think no. From everything I know, there hasn't been, which is why the comments stuck out to me because it was so extreme.

And right after it happened, Astereos jumped in the comments section on the DickShow.com. Well, I bet. Don't go to DickShow.com. Do go to the Dick show. Got a different experience. Yeah, no, I get that. Depend what you want to get out of your system. You want to get some rage out of your system.

Go to the Dick show.com. You want to get something else out of your system. Go to Dick Dixho.com. You want to get something else out of your system. Go to Dixho.com. Asterios jumps in and starts throwing out around words like transphobe and this and that. And the guy, he didn't defend himself, but it made me stop and think about the original poster who was making a big deal about saying, I refuse to buy into this charade.

And it was interesting to me, because first of all, if you get called a foe, anything, a trans foe, if you get called a racist, I'll defend you no matter what. As long as you're not hurting people, like if you just have hateful ideas, because I think we need that. I think we're at a point where we, I'm like, I'm like the guy from 60 minutes every week

who goes and defends small businesses, except for people who spout hateful ideologies. But I just think it's gone too far. I want to know what that guy's saying because I doubt that he's that big of an asshole. Like that in my first instinct was, okay, what is this guy just wants everybody to know? that guy saying, because I doubt that he's that big of an asshole. Like that, my first instinct was, okay, what is this guy just wants everybody to know? How much of a prick he is?

Like he's not going to participate in the first of all, I guarantee anybody who draws a line at calling a man a woman if they feel more comfortable, I guarantee they're engaged in stupider sharads to them than that every day. Like you got a boss, I fucking guarantee you've told that guy, him some of his ideas are good. You got a wife, how did that happen? Yeah.

Like any relationship requires you to tell about a hundred lies every day. Is that, I think statistically that's true. Like you hear something that your partner says and you want to say, that's the stupidest idea I've ever heard, but you have to swallow that. So calling, and that is why I can now have relationships. What do you mean? Because I just said, because you said under wraps. Oh, bro, that is, if there's anything that will help somebody under 30, like who actually

want to get more out of there, and look, if you have a relationship, you want to get more out of it. It's not about being a player or a playboy, but you just, you want it to be better when you're in it. That's why you're there. Don't waste your time. Just stop saying the things that you think. There, you don't, you don't, you don't,

like you didn't come up with, you didn't piece them together. It's not like a hot rod, you built in your garage. Yeah, there's no proud ownership of this. No, it's just a fucking idea. Of course case, case. Of course case, you are now the uncle that Thanksgiving everyone makes fun of. The drunk uncle.

You're now, you're now the drunk uncle. Like that leap of, so you're like your Joe Biden. Yeah, well like that, that leap of being like, I hear them, you're now the drunk uncle. Like that leap of, so you're like, you're Joe Biden. Yeah, well like that, that leap of being like, I hear they mutilate themselves. Fucking what? Like, how's that the jump that you make? Why, why is it, this is where I,

I don't know why do you give a fuck? Why do you give a fuck? Like, okay, so, why does it scare you? So, why do you give a fuck that they're mutilating, quote unquote, themselves? And are you okay with me pouring two gallons of whiskey into my body every week? Because that's- That you're mutilating, isn't it?

I'm definitely- Are you okay with chicks getting boob jobs? Because women who have boob jobs have a higher rate of suicide. Like where's all your concern for that? Why is this a problem? Like why is this one specifically a problem? And that's what I gotta think, because the guy... Why is it big for you?

The guy who made the comments, not a stupid guy. I don't believe, first of all, you're listening to this show, you're not a stupid guy. No, you're... Then you're making a comment on this, I you're not a stupid guy. I don't wanna see people, I don't wanna have transphob and shit, push down the throat of a stupid guy,

but I wanna know what he's saying. And what I think, I think the reason it's become such a divisive, like such a line in the sand issue is because if you give a little bit in this world as a rational, as a man who values reason above all else. Like if you feel like a man and you're born a man and you participate, you don't have any problems, you don't have the issues to deal with

because everything that you are and everything that's around you is reflected in how you feel all the time, good for you. But every inch you give in this society, society takes a mile. So it's this fear that I think we have that that guy has, and it's absolutely true that if you admit for a second, if you say, all right, oh, I'm game for this.

I'll refer to you as a woman, no big deal. The next thing you're gonna hear is some bitch running for the Senator of California who says, I'm glad you said that because we made it illegal. Just in case you ever change your mind. And that is, it's absolutely a real concern to this guy and it's going to cause. And I think it's what legislating more hate speech laws.

Well, in fact, yeah, almost the opposite. Like I looked up those transpanic laws that Joan was talking about. And it's, in my research, is that true? It's the reverse. So what they would do, like there's stories on both sides. There's stories where a trans woman has, had some kind of sexual relationship with a guy and then the guy freaked out and beat the hell out of him, right?

Of course, that would exist because people beat the hell out of each other all the time. We're fucking animals. This is all this, all this flowery speech doesn't mean shit. What you're saying, then? Genitals are involved. In that case, the transpanic law would exist. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,

no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. The other instance is genuine trickery, trans trickery, where it's, and there's documented cases of this too, where a trans woman would essentially withhold or doop guys into sexual relationships.

And of course, again, results in battery slaughter, like man slaughter and these types of, so what the trans panic was, is it's a defense that these guys would use in court. And the fear is that the defense itself is transphobic because it's easier to convince juries. Like it's easier to get a jury on your side because you're using this defense of trans or gay panic.

Well, sure, because the straight men on the jury are going like, well, fuck, I don't know what I'd do in that case. Well, exactly. So what this was, this was considered so, as is a contentious issue, obviously, but it's considered so dangerous to like an explosion of trans violence that they've made the defense illegal in California, which is fucking bullshit. Because if you're in court, man, you deserve every, you deserve every ounce of defense to create a reasonable doubt.

Oh my fucking god, you're, because you're talking about someone either getting the chair or going away for the rest of their fucking life. The idea that that would be illegal, that defense would be illegal is fucking discussed. And it means that they have no faith that the jury can see through that. Exactly. It means that they've taken the whole point of having the jury of peers and removed it because they're afraid the jury's morality will be disgusting. Yeah, we'll put them.

Which it could be, right? That's the point, but that's the system. This, and the system is removing that. Like all these fucking gadgets, all these iPads, all these computers, this fucking audio equipment that doesn't work, guess who that's getting made by? Like just because you think that makes this jury more moral, does not mean the lifestyle you're living

is any more morally justifiable than it was before. That's where I understand where the guy's coming from, because you give an inch, it's like Sebastian says in Little Mermaid, and you give them an inch, they'll take the whole sea. I mean, I think this is about just fucking knowing people. Okay. This is what I think.

I think this guy, just get out and meet your, so much shit would get solved. If you just go out and you meet your fucking neighbors, you have some face to face conversations. I didn't, I had, I didn't understand what being trans was all about. I, I, I see, look, I'm a straight white guy that doesn't touch. From Kentucky. From Kentucky, I don't know shit being trans was all about. I, I, I, look, I'm a straight white guy that doesn't. From Kentucky.

From Kentucky. I don't know shit a lot of the time. And sometimes you just have to shut the fuck up and listen to someone and go, okay, I understand. That's a good friend. I can never, never the solution. Comedian and Los Angeles, Riley Silverman, hilarious woman, trans woman, one of my very good friends. Through that friendship, I've been able to gain a lot more understanding

of what it is to be a trans person, what it is to come out, what it is to come deal with. I've seen the dark side, I've seen guys that jump to that, I hear they're crazy people that mutilate their genitals, try to attack her on a train. I've seen it, see it with my own fucking eyes. So that's where I have to like, disagree a little bit with like,

trans panic laws being outlawed, being a problem and stuff like that. You see this fucking like hate that people get because again, uh, the people that, uh, run companies shit like that, the people, the things that get like force fed like in your head. Yeah. Uh, on either side, obviously, but in this case, I'm talking about, in this case, I'll talk about the right. I'll talk about the far left that throws out crazy ideas all the time too, but in this case, I think the amount

of just crazy shit that gets put into people's head about trans people, about transgender people, that's a problem. That's why this guy's like, I hear that they mutilate themselves and that's fucking insane. They're just walking guy's like, I hear that they mutilate themselves and that's fucking insane. They're just walking around with mutilated dicks and pussy's because some website was like, hey, these people are a problem. Yeah, I have heard that.

Meelo, you know, Opolis is always saying that it's a brain disease or disorder or something. Like I forget what he calls it a mental disorder. And every time I hear that, I'm like, yeah, there's a lot of body dysmorphia disorder. Let's just go completely on your side and say, you're right, this is the only solution that we have for it. Like, I'm much more worried about the machine that you're building. A machine that tries to protect people from themselves, like this whole idea about mutilation, and that somehow, somehow we've got to protect people

from mutulating themselves, 100% disagree. Like fuck, fuck off. For what they do, I don't even, that's in the conversation. It's a weird fucking, that's the first urban legend that people will go to. Yeah. Because their grandpa told them that because the grandpa heard that at church. Mm-hmm. They're like, no kid, they, they trans people are gonna try to convert you. They're gonna get you into the trans van. Have you heard, have you heard this growing up in Kentucky?

Yeah, you hear, you hear the craziest shit and they're gonna and I that kind of thing you never buy but and I think there's a smaller percentage of people that buy like outwardly Crazy shit to that level, but there's like smaller stuff I think that will stick into a more reasonable person's head and that can be a problem too But I think it's just it's just fucking getting to know your fucking neighbors. And that's it. I don't have a whole lot more of a point that that.

I used to call things gay all the time. I used to say, I used to say things were gay more than I used to say like between thoughts. Until my gay friends had to be like, hey, that sucks. Like that hurts me when I say it. How old are you?

I'm 34. Okay, I'm 35. So because I, yeah, I used to do that too. Yeah, the height of that 40 year old virgin. That's like that was the most classic scene in that movie. Do you know how I know your gay? You know, I know your gay. You like cold play.

Like, remember seeing that movie and just being like, that fucking scene was great. It's a shame too because it was so satisfying to say someone or something was gay. It really was. And not all gay people have a problem with it. No. But I don't even, I don't even want to risk it anymore. Like, I've got Cuck now that insult is working.

Okay. That one's hilarious. It's not as good as gay, but I'll take it. It is, man, it is a shame. It is a shame that we lost gay. But somehow we got back retarded. You're right, did we totally retarded? Oh, I've been saying.

As soon as the, yeah, as soon as the far left started using it, you know, ironically or whatever, everybody says it now. Nobody even bats an eye. Did anybody in the far left start saying retarded? Yeah. Iron it wins. Because of the bush. They probably started with retarded ambush.

They couldn't help themselves. Maybe it is. Yeah, no entertainers. Intertainers and such. Which ones? Which ones and such? Oh, Tifa. She said retarded?

Yeah. Any polar. When did Amy put? What is this? 20 questions like you. Yeah, you just. You made it retarded. Yeah. Any polar. When did Amy put? What is this? 20 questions like you. Yeah. You just, what are you retarded? No, you just did a, well, the fuck, like, you just, see, but that was because they set

those kind of boundaries for society. I love they. They do. Like it's my favorite word in the world. You don't think they do? They. Yeah. You the fuck is they?

And we do that. Everybody on the side of political spectrums does a they. Yeah. And I love that. I'm not on the political side. You, this guy doesn't know me for anything. Well, you're saying they say retainer. I'm saying that's, I've got a lot of lip, like I grew up in the entertainment industry.

Most people tend to be left on that. You know, that's fine. Oh, no, I hear a lot of it. I just, no, I was making a point that on either side of the political spectrum, no matter where you are, everybody says they. I love it. Oh, yeah, yeah's fine. Oh, no, I'm gonna hear a lot of it. I just, no, I was making a point that on either side of the political spectrum, no matter where you are, everybody says they. A lot of it. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

No, that's who the fuck you say. Yeah, well, you know, they can be, depending, they can be a lot of groups. Who did you hear say retarded? You can remember it. Can you think back when I'm retarded? I'll have to remember. But I remember thinking specifically,

wow, that's, I'm surprised. They said that that person said that. There you go. That was they. Yeah. I'm surprised they singular said that. Maybe they can only juggle a certain amount of plates at the same time. They so like, you have retarded, then you threw gay up there.

Like, I can't keep retarded going anymore. No, we got, we got retarded back. What we got is an iron. We're reptilian alien because I think that that's who we got is an iron. What we got is an iron. What we got is an iron. What we got is an iron. What we got is an iron. What we got is an iron. What we got is an iron.

What we got is an iron. What we got is an iron. What we got is an iron. What we got is an iron. What we got is an iron. What we got is an iron. What we got is an iron. What we got is an iron.

What we got is an iron. What we got is an iron. What we got is an iron. What we got is an iron. What we got is an iron. What we got is an iron. What we got is an iron. What we got is an iron. What we got is an iron. What we got is an iron. What we got is an iron. What we got is an iron. if you meet someone from that group, and you actually like them. So as soon as you go, oh wow, like that guy's gay

and Devil Horns didn't pop out and he didn't rape my son. And you're like, oh, this is what I was told. Yeah, to go for an extreme example, but yeah, it's true. Then you start, oh, they're people too. Yeah, I don't have a problem with the gay stuff. I don't have a problem with anything people are, but I want to murder, I want to hold them underwater until they drown if they don't wear a belt. You want to do an old fashioned river strangle on a belt?

Yeah, I can bet. No, no, if they don't wear a belt. If they don't wear a belt, no, I can't. That's what we need to take all this rage. Put it in the belt. Put it in the belt. Put it in the belt. Put it in the belt.

Put it in the belt. Put it in the belt. Put it in the belt. Put it in the belt. Put it in the belt. Put it in the belt. Put it in the belt. Focus it on to belts or people who say unfriendly on Facebook. Like, those are things we should really be angry about instead of this very divisive pie in the sky, never gonna be solved stuff like trends or whatever. We gotta put it into stuff you can solve. Like we could get everybody wearing belts. See, I think you could solve this stuff guy, we could get everybody wearing belts. See, I think, I think you could solve this stuff

just like you can get everybody wearing belts. You could solve it on a personal, person-to-person level. There's always gonna be a big blur and there's always gonna be a they because they're just, they're just, we've all grown up saying they and they and they and they.

Yeah. But like, just like you said, on a personal level, I didn't stop saying gay because a liberal machine shook me. I stopped saying. That's what they want you to think. I stopped saying it because gay friends were like, stop saying that.

And I was like, oh, well, I don't mean gay like you. I mean, gay like a fucking idiot. Oh, oh, sorry, dude. Well, that's why I stopped saying gay. South Park did the whole fact thing They try to remember this one They they made the point that Fags just fun to say Oh, they wanted to change it to motorcycle gangs. Yeah, that's right. Yeah, you know

Like what let's get to the let's get to your interview. Oh no wait. I got some I got some more cool stuff to talk about I'll yell about whatever you want to yell at ray Reuno Kingas sent me a sick ass bottle of herb liquor. Holy shit. Yeah, finish. It's the finish equivalent of Yegermeister. So get it icy cold and it looks like it. Right? That's pretty cool.

I got a slick bottle. I'm showing it to the webcam right now. By the way, you get webcam access. Whatever you go over to Patreon, kick on a couple bucks and you can see the web broadcast. I've also got fan art from Brandon of Maximum Overdrive. Last week, I divulged my alter ego of pain, weenerstine that I do. Talk shit on it. That's my fantasy football name, those types of things.

So he drew some fan art of being in Esquire. Oh, that's cool. Yeah. He's a classy guy too. He's a classy guy and also more disgusting. Wearing a belt though. He is wearing a belt. He's got a cigar.

He's got a man bun on. He knows what's going on. So go to thedickshow.com if you want to see a Weenner's team. Do you ever see a guy with a belt with like a shirt tucked in or I mean no belt? Yes. Yeah, just like a shirt tucked in to whatever pants he's wearing. I don't understand how you know belt. It looks so unfinished.

It's really weird looking. I don't, there's, I think there's a, there's a personality. I think it says something about, I don't know, your confidence or your personality because there have been times where I've done that accidentally. Not going to bill. I've gotten to my job, gotten there, especially when I was working like day jobs at like real estate companies and stuff like that.

And you're shirt and tie, you know, sports coat, whatever. And I'll get there and I'm just like, I'm wearing a full fucking suit. And I forgot to put on my goddamn belt this morning. And you're mortified. And that is the worst day. Every, everything's bad about that day. You're, you're charming around everywhere that day.

I don't understand how you can, how you can do that to yourself. It's like having a bad handshake, but it's all day. It's like you got a home, God. It's like you still like, oh, the person grabbed my fingers too early. You don't get the hand in the roll. Yeah, or like you're meeting like someone important

and they have like two fingers. You really fucking up. Or they've got like a, yeah, they've got a, you grip a hand shake. Bad hand shake, sir. Up a little bit. And you're like, those will stay with you.

You want to yell about bad head, hand shakes for a minute? Go ahead. What, you know, like, I, we got a list of things I'm supposed to talk about, who gives a shit, bad hand shakes. This is on the list. Bad hand shakes.

All right, man. So when I was in high school, I got arrested for shoplifting. Oh, what is that? And, oh, my buddy and I, it was a stupid, I had been shoplifting for years because I was a teenager and that's what you do. Okay.

Of all the fucking things. Keep telling yourself that. Yeah, of all the fucking things to get caught with, of buddy and mine and I were bored and we were at, it was this place called Biggs. It was kind of a Walmart. Okay. And we were like, let's steal these Legos and we're dead.

And that's the time, that's the time we got Goddamn caught. Legos. It was being a couple of mostly grown kids. Wow. Tickles, Legos. The Legos. Okay. Or Lego, sorry, I want to be corporately correct.

They are Lego bricks. They are not Legos. Misconception. It's a common misconception. The Valhalla liquor company from Finland will probably be there. So, you know, my father has to come get us. It's insane. I'm embarrassing.

My dad has to take me to my hearing where I have to meet with a judge. About the Lego incident. Okay. And the judge, the judge kind of looks at me and he's like, are you gonna do this again? I'm like, no. And he's like, just quippie. And basically the judge is like,

just quippie in an asshole and get out of here. He shakes my hand and I think I'm 16 or 17 at this point. Still having a hard time making eye contact with people. And so I just given this limp bullshit handshake, I'm kinda looking at my feet. And my father was like, I'm angrier with you about that handshake. Yeah.

Then the hours I've had to put in to this stupid Lego shit. It's stupid Lego shit. Yep. And I've had a good fucking handshake ever since. It's important. You dance as a cool guy. He's an alright It's important. Your dad sounds like a cool guy. He's an alright dude. Yeah, he's an alright dude, man.

Why did you get into shoplifting? What the hell was that supposed to be? I was just a bored ass kid that, I don't know, man, it made me feel alive in my suburban youth. You got your dad's attention, that's for sure. I got my dad's bad attention. Okay, I'm gonna, I'm backed up on a lot of stuff. I'm gonna get I apologize content that's on me. No, that's totally fine. Let's get to your interview Joe star

Let's do it. What makes you a rage Let's let's start with a small one and I'm gonna rate about guns for a minute Let's start with a small one. And I'm gonna write about guns for a minute. Let's just, let's just go small on the scale of one to 10. I don't know, this is a two on issues. I think not a lot of people talk about guns. They want to take your guns away.

They want to take your guns away. They fucking definitely want to take your guns away. Yeah, they never fucking have, isn't that funny? This is all, I think it's been a year since, remember that Jade Helm conspiracy theory? That was not. Oh, okay, theory that was on. Oh, okay. So it was last week.

Let me say, first of all, they have taken a lot of my guns away. They've taken a lot of your guns away. Many guns in guns, not far from where we're sitting right now, are illegal because they took them away. And they are continually trying to do so. Now, but I don't want to fuck up the start of your rage topic. No, that's fine. And I'll throw a few, let's set this up

because I'm not a crazy person. And, okay. You know, I'm a pretty common sense middle ground guy. Okay. I'm a southerner. I grew up in Kentucky. My wife's from Nashville. Her, my family, not as big on guns.

My brother is, my brother's license to carry. He's a pilot who was trained to carry in case weird shit happens on a plane. I wish. Weird shit like, allu Akbar. Yeah, whatever. La la la, I can't wish. What other weird shit's gonna be happening?

Actually, weird fun fact on that training. 90% of their training was learning how not to let someone else take your gun. Like 10% learning to shoot, 90% making sure someone can't take it. I bet that's a huge risk on a plane because they might have a knife. And if they get ahold of your gun, then you're really fun.

Then you only have a plane to fight. He showed me pictures after the training, just his entire thigh where his holster was, just black and blue, because that's the whole training, is just people trying to snatch it. And you're not letting them do it. Sorry, rant, cyber. It was going on with Skype.

Yeah, I get Skype's being fucking Skype. Glad I didn't slander Tina Fey, because she did say retarded. Great. I can't believe you've been looking that up. No, just now. Just now. Guys, please do try to read Connect.

All right, I was like, I thought it was her. Joe, wherever you want to pick up from. And I disagree with her saying it, you know? I don't like it. Oh, that's, yeah, see, I knew you had a dog in the fight. Oh, oh, well. Do it. I don't know.

I don't think it's an opinion on it. Fight, I don't, you know, I feel like, I know Down syndrome kids. There, nobody's calling me too. Nobody's calling me. Oh, hold on. What are we, what do you wanna start? You wanna yell about guns?

Yeah, okay. Let's go. Let's yell about guns. This small thing. So again, my caveat, in theory, I am completely for responsible ownership, gunna, blah, blah, blah. Okay.

My wife, all my in-laws are deer hunters. Some of them professionally, like that's their industry, that they maintain hunting grounds and populations and stuff like that. I respect it, I get it. But I think where you and I differ sometimes is because I think you have faith in people

not being completely hopeless and not needing some laws to point them around. Well, wait, okay, what do you think? What is your, why did guns make you a rage? Let me start with that. Okay. What is it about it in general that makes you a rage? And then I'll tell you what I think.

I'll have a cool. All right, cool. Let's start here. The idea of, I don't like the cowboy idea of good guys with guns. You don't like that, I don't like that. I don't like that. I don't, because I think this good versus evil narrative is the nerdiest fucking thing I've ever heard of my life.

That belongs to Lord of the Rings. It doesn't exist here. It doesn't, the good guy with a gun narrative is a weird dumb sham to me because everyone is good until they're suddenly fucking not. That's why we have any instance where there's been a shooting or something like that, everyone, how many times have people been like, he was pretty good dude. And pretty good, pretty good, pretty good, quite chill dude. Drill a parade of people. Yeah. Until he drove a truck through a parade of people, until they shot a bunch of

people. Well, wait a minute. What do you think? I don't, I don't think it's a good guy versus a bad guy. I think it's a responsible citizen versus a desperate person. But that's not, but that's not what we hear. We are all, people are like, you're told a good guy with a gun versus a bad guy with a gun.

You see people say, you know what? I just, what bad people have guns and bad people get guns all the time. I just want good guys to be able to, here's the gun. You see people say, you know what? I just, what bad people have guns and bad people get guns all the time. I just want good guys to be able to, here's the thing. I'm a pretty good guy. I'm a pretty non violent guy. I like to, I like to think I'm a pretty moral good guy. Okay. But then I go, I go to a sandwich place before a standup show. I've got about 45 minutes to kill. I got there early because it was easy to park. I'm hungry, I want dinner. I go into the sandwich place, and I'm like, you know what,

we're gonna do something simple. I'm gonna order a grilled cheese sandwich. Okay. And then, and then a girl, the girl that makes the sandwich, she puts mustard onto a grilled cheese sandwich that I've paid money for.

Shooter. What the, why the fuck have you done that to me? Yeah. Like what, what personal thing that I fucking do to you to put mustard on this fucking girl, she's saying, well, the fuck is your problem with me? Suddenly, I mean, you got to go. I like mustard, but that's weird. You got to fuck, that's, that's what it has everything to do with. That's the good guy with the gun narrative. Everyone's good until they're fucking not. If I, if I,

so you're saying the woman who put the mustard on your thing was a good, no, she's got a, I'm saying I'm a good guy. And then if I'm open, I'm so outraged you would bust out if I'm open, if I'm a guy that's open, carry. I'm a good guy until I'm fucking not anymore. Like everyone has, every day you've had fucking moments.

We're all the sudden you're done. But this, I think the stats and the nature of the ubiquitous nature of guns in America totally disagrees with that. Like we already are in a society where everyone's armed. How many guns are we selling by the month here? There's like something, there's over 50% of America is armed and we're doing okay. everyone's armed. How many guns are we selling by the month here? There's like something, there's over 50% of America is armed and we're doing okay. Is that right?

Yeah. Oh yeah. And if you, if you, if you take our homicide rates with guns, whack out all the suicides and then whack out all the black on black teen violence, it's comparable to every other country in my research. So I don't, that's what worries me is that the narrative I hear, those numbers don't agree with what you're saying. Does that make sense? Am I explaining that well?

I think the fucked up thing about that is, you know, I was looking at something the other day. It was a, it was a website that was like, it was, it was, it was, here's what left people see on their Facebook feed. Right, right, right. And it's different. Because I look at different numbers all the time. I'm saying so.

Yeah, that's a problem in of itself. But I think my issue more right now is that narrative of like, I'm a good dude or I'm just here to have it for because the numbers of domestic crimes involving, involving a gun or high. Or high. They're high. And those gun, it's very easy to pop off a gun. Or high. Or high. And those gun, because it's very easy to pop off a gun.

That's what I'm saying. I mean, I got shot. I was talking in the last episode, a guy across the fucking alley is arguing with his girlfriend. Next thing, you know, he's shooting his piece off for no reason. He didn't kill it. He's just shooting it off to be an asshole.

And three years ago, he didn't buy that gun to shoot at his girlfriend or shoot a, you know what I'm saying? He bought that gun for protection or he bought that, he bought that gun for whatever reason to keep his kids safe at his house. Let me say this. I am, I am diametrically opposed to you on this issue, but I will say this and it knocked. It took the wind out of my sails when it comes to gun rights.

I used to go to these open carry events with my life coach, where the whole idea of it was to walk around a semi-populated area, walk around like Old Town Pasadena, which is a thoroughfare. It's like a night spot. There's night life there. Go around and go have a nice dinner with a bunch of people who were open carrying, who had holsters

and had their guns legally on their holsters because people don't see that. And the idea behind the event was to desensitize the fear, the fear, the fearful reaction people have of guns by exposing them to it more, having them ask questions like, are you guys, what is this? Some kind of a joke? Is this a prank? Are you guys, are you guys trying to scare people? And no, the answer was we're trying to make, we're trying to give you a second amendment right. And maybe tell you why this is, why we think this is extremely important.

And to let you know that you shouldn't be afraid of it because we're just regular people going out to drink, then we would, there was always a point every time we did this, where I would be sitting down with my life coach, talking to some of the people involved, and one of them would say some stupid shit like if a robber came in here, man, I would whip this piece out. And every time they, I know they were gearing up for it and I'm cringing inside. And I'm looking at my life codes,

my dude, this guy's right here. This guy is doing more harm than any left wing propaganda, anything the way this guy is talking about is mine. He's ready to be John McClain. He's ready to be John McClain. And I get it because we all want that, but you don't say it. Like we want, you know, I got a shotgun right next to my bed

that I fantasize, I get drunk and I'll tell girls, you know, baby, this is the safest place in LA. I got a gun in every room, blah, blah, blah, blah. But I don't talk about it freely like that because it fits this narrative that you're talking about to a tee, I think. Yeah, we go ahead. We got together. It wasn't a family event. It was like a, it wasn't necessarily family

reunion. It was family and then everybody brought their people. It was just this big gathering, okay, at a cabin. And my wife's father at a young age, he sat them all down with all of his weapons and he was like, here's what this is. Here's a safety. Here's how this one's assembled. my wife's father at a young age, she sat them all down with all of his weapons, and he was like, here's what this is. Here's a safety, here's how this one's assembled, here's how it's disassembled. You don't touch this. But they weren't like, oh, this is a fucking ray gun.

It's gonna blow up the, no, no, no, no, no. It was just- That's just supposed to do. Yeah, very common sense, and that's fine. Yeah, my friend from high school did that. And that's how all of these folks, that's how all these folks were raised. Until one day at this cabin,

a friend of the family brings in a new person, wants to impress them, and they just, they just go off into the woods to shoot deer. They don't tell anybody that they're going out. So they're just out there with guns looking for movement. No one knows they're out there. Could have caused a, could have caused a major problem. Didn't, but then came back, left those guns, just lying against the side of a wall. Totally carelessly, youlessly. Totally carelessly. And here's the thing, these people, not care,

not morons raised around, but you're responsible until you're not, and you're a good guy until you're not. Yeah. You know what I'm saying? That's what bothers me. That's what makes you a rage about guns. That's what makes me a rage about guns.

Do you want to reel the guns back? Or do you want to try, like here's the, here's my question, is this a legal issue or a marketing issue? Do you want to, which is always, all these my questions. Do you want to tell smart people, do you want to teach them to be more responsible?

Because you can train people. There was a time. You can absolutely train people. There's a time. You can absolutely train people. There's a time when no one would wear their seat belt. That was considered absolutely stupid, right? That was fun. And now I feel guilty if I don't have it on, because of all the goddamn market.

And here's the thing, these folks trained, all the training in the world, although you know what, I will say, the first time I went out shooting to an actual range, because I've been out, I've shot on farms and stuff like that, where people are like, hey, we're gonna go out, we an actual range. Cause I've been out, you know, I've shot on farms and stuff like that where people are like, hey, we're gonna go out, we're gonna shoot.

First time I went to an actual professional range to shoot was, it was ski shooting. And the lady said, you need to be trained. And I'd gone with my wife's stepfather and he was like, no, he's good, I'll be with him. And she was like, well, he should probably be trained. And she just pointed at a folding card table with three old dudes in their full fatigues

that were eating hot dogs. And there was a tiny little television, you know, the VCR TV combo. Oh yeah. With like a tape, plastic. And you just said, boy, these guys didn't watch the tape and what I'm just goes, hello. And you're like, hey, man. And he just the tape and when I'm just goes, hello, and

you're like, hey, man. Yeah. And he just hits playing, goes back to his hot dog. And that was right. That's the training. That doesn't really have anything to do with my rage. Just a thing I remembered. I think.

Okay. And here's the concern for me is, I don't know how the fuck you fix this stuff. You know, I know that I, I think for me it's, it's more regulation. It's a, it's a D&B style. You know, you know that I, I, I think for me, it's, it's more regulation. It's a, it's a, it's a D&B style. You know, you're killing me with more regulation. I know. What do you regulate? See, and here's, here's where I stumble on the conversation. Again, because I'm not a fucking, you know, I don't fucking know. I, like, I, I don't have answers. I just have feel. I just have rage. Yeah. Um, no, I understand that, but we got to work with that. Like half the country feels like you do.

Yeah, so I wanna know what, like what, off the top of your head, what do you wanna regulate? What do you wanna pull back? You know, I don't know if it's- What needs the brakes pumped? Better background checks. I think you know that there's so many background checks. No, nothing on earth could go through them.

There's like 11,000 a day of background. Like people buy so many fucking guns that there is no chance they could catch anything. Yeah. But I think you have enough places where those things aren't happening. And I'll tell you what, that Orlando shooter went to a gun store to buy body armor.

The gun store owner said, go fuck yourself. That's right, he was suspicious. He looked weird. And that's like, that's the best background check you got. You want to help, you want to solve this? It's not with a computer in a law. It's by saying, hey guys, hey gun store owners, feel free to racial profile the fuck out of anybody.

Like, feel free to use your gut. Feel free to not sell to people because you are the vanguard of bad guys getting guns. It's insurance. But I think, I think that's where we have to find the balance though. to people because you are the vanguard of bad guys getting guns and guns and guns. But I think that's where we have to find the balance though. It's because you don't have people that do that because I get, I don't think, I disagree with the racial profiling thing there. Well, that's what it says.

I get it in a half. I get it in that guy's case. He had a gut feeling. He was like, things are going on. I get it. But that's another issue with open carry for me. Was that Dallas rally when that shoot, when that started, you had protesters peacefully open, and it just, can you imagine being a cop, shots are fired, and all the sudden, everyone around you has a fucking gun and just the chaos

of that. And the unnecessary fear and problems that that added. Well, there was one big guy that had an AR-15, right? And he's like, give it to the cops so we don't have an accident. He went right to the cops. Yeah, I'm sorry. He went right to the, he goes, hey, you have another guy that, who, another black guy legally open carrying that and he was the, the shot they put up as the suspicious right who we think it is.

And that's going around the media, mails, you know, he's in cops, he's in the police station. Yeah. And this is, this is, this is me firmly. Good guy. This is firmly me on the side of police in, in this instance. I can't fucking imagine that first shot fires and all of a sudden you're looking around and it's like, who did it? Who fucking did it? Anybody.

Yeah. Anybody. That's where the most dangerous spot of their job is just traffic stops. Yeah. Because you pull up, you pull a guy over and there's a, there's the percentages that he has a gun. Yeah. I think they're aware of that.

Let me ask you this. As far as legislation goes, the reason why it freaks me out is because they're always taking my fun stuff. Like I got, I got it. I got it. This is where I was going to go. This was where I was going to go. This was where I was going to go.

This was where I was going to go. This was where I was going to go. I'm sorry. Is this America? I'm in desert. I'm in desert. I'm in desert. I'm in desert. I'm in desert. I'm sorry, I'm always gonna go, I'm sorry, is this America? I'm in deserve enough all the fun shit I could ever possibly imagine. That's what I, what's fun, whatever's fun to me

is more important to me than other people eating. That's real talk. What's entertaining to me? I could take every dollar I spend on entertainment and feed someone who needs food, but I fucking don't, because just like everybody else in America, I wanna be fucking entertained.

So fuck every other need. Look, I fucking, I like shooting, I get it. I'm not a fucking weirdo who's like, I just feel it, if you just pick one of those up, I fucking get it. I go to my father and law's house, I go to his farm, I go to his property, I shoot an AK-47 with my weird little brother

and law who's obsessed with Soviet military and runs around in full garb. That's good, he could have gone with the other military. That's not as easy to talk about. Yeah, brother, it is not. They got the Nazis. That's so good. Oh, I get it.

Is it the Fathonautsies at the end? Yeah, they're the good guys. There was a member. They were the good guys with a guy in that, there's a member. They're in some camps. But you were the good guys with a guy in that instance. I'll go to a fucking range. And we can can't awareness this over and over until nothing ever gets done

because then you can go, well, so it'll just break into the range. And it's like, well, fuck, fucking sure. But like, you gotta try to do. I'm gonna try to do it. Yeah, you can. You can't drive a car right there. You can't plan for every contingency.

You can't put, and yeah, and the more you think about that stuff, the more just, well, I guess trying to do car. Yeah, you can drive a car right there. You can't plan for every contingency. You can't put, and yeah, and the more you think about that stuff, the more just, well, I guess we fucking do nothing. I'll go to a range. I'll go to a range so I can fucking shoot an AK-47. Yeah. I'll pay that money. I'm fine going and paying that extra money at a range so that that cop doesn't have to

look around and Dallas and just go, which one of these 200 people around? You're all carrying it. Oh, they're always going to be afraid of that because you can't take the guns out of the system. You can't, you say it's about the cause, but you cannot remove that fear that they have. Do you know what I mean? Like they agree. They'll never,

there will never be an instance where a cop's not afraid of everybody having guns. But this, the cool part that I'm talking about, I have an AR-15, right? Where we have a 10 bullet maximum capacity in California. It looks like, like you imagine an AR-15, right? I'm like a cool kickass military. Oh, yeah.

And it's got, what does it have? It's got a sick ass shoulder15, right, like a cool kick ass military. Oh, yeah. And it's got, what does it have? It's got a sick ass shoulder rest, right? It's got the gun grip, the trigger part that you pull, and then it's got the awesome, extended banana clips sticking out the front. You know what they look like now? They saw that banana clip off. They saw it off your banana clip?

They saw it off my dick on my gun. It looks like it just looks like a metal stick now. That took your dick. Yeah. So is that now that we're in the code? emojis. Is it worth it? Hell in a hell.

You've got to have all these regulations and I'm stuck. Son of a bitch. Have dicked AR 15. I get it. I get it. I went to Western Kentucky University. We would go to parties in the middle of fucking nowhere and someone would say, Hey, man, we had a guy. I wouldn't want to say

his name because I feel like it would get him in trouble. He enlisted. He was going to go out, you know, he knew his date when he was going to head out. He enlisted. He enlisted because of 9-11 salute bald eagle. He knew when he was going to go out and enlisted, he enlisted because of 9-11, salute, bald eagle. He knew when he was going to go out and for him, he was like, I want to get a head start on training. This is going to be my job and it's a serious fucking job. I want to get a head start. And so he, he legally purchased a shitload of the just standard stuff that you would use from basic infantry all the way through Ranger School. And he just owned it, which looking back,

I'm like, Jesus Christ, that's insane. Well, wait, can you... We had a party at this guy's house and he's like, who wants to go shoot these desert eagles at the same time? That's awesome. So I get it. Yeah, that's awesome.

I get it. I've held two kids in my hand at the same time like I was in fucking doom and shot the fuck out of a tree. I get it. I worth it. I've held two kids in my hand at the same time, like I was in fucking doom and shot the fuck out of a tree. I get it. I worth it. I will, and it is worth it to me. That's what they had in mind when they wrote the second amendment.

Yeah. You at that house with two desert eagles, blasling, what are you going? Buck. Hot fuzz. Have you ever dove through the air with two guns while yelling, ah, I get it, but I'll go pay my money to go shoot those I will

I'll go pay my money to shoot them. All right. What would you what do you think about? needing guns to protect against tyranny police state anything like that any of that resonate with you? No, man No, no me neither look Fuck this police state resonate with you. No, man. No, no, me neither. Look, fuck, fuck this police state. Yeah, I started bringing up Jade Hill earlier before this bullshit system caught on fire. Yeah. The military was doing some exercise in Texas. And I think the only reason this caught on was because Twitter and someone noticed

four people talking about it and it blew up. Like most things on Twitter. We give a sounding board to the most stupid. And they were like, this is it. Obama's coming in. FEMA is going to take over all these abandoned wallmarts and we're all going to get hurt it in. That was Jade Helm.

And so you have all of these guys sitting on their porch with their shotgun while the most advanced military in the world walks by. Like it's going to do something when it has the military that we're worried about. It's the police. The military doesn't take your rights. The police do. But if they don't, they send in the national guard. Like they're not going to let a bunch of local law enforcement have a huge uproar. It's not an uprising that they're supposed to protect against.

It's the little things. It's the cops are the what? Guns. Guns. I was going more a big picture. I don't want to be, I definitely don't want to be misheard. Militarized police. No, no, no, fuck that.

I don't, I think that goes back to police can police best when you get to know your neighbor. I think that's the best weapon police have. They can buy all the fucking humvees in the world they want, you know, but just like get to know folks and fucking be friends, which is sort of a, I guess, a silly way of looking at things. But I think that big picture, they're coming for us and this is why I'm armed. Yeah.

Yeah. It doesn't hold up. Yeah. And if it ever, and if it ever did, you're never going to see that drone coming. So like what? Yeah. You, you, you, you fucking two. You know who's, you know who's successfully fended off the US military? Donald Trump, the Taliban, yes, Trump, Vietnam, like do any of these modern warfare names mean anything to you? A bunch of fucking assholes living in caves beat the US military. ISIS exists because the military can't kill little groups of people. No, it's because they did kill little groups of people.

And then people step into Philadelphia. How much do that cost? And How much did that fucking cost? And the group of people whose vacuum they filled in were trained by us. Oh, history is fine. Yeah, just like our resistance would be too. You think that military's just gonna go like, well, the guy said I should gotta go home and shoot my family. They're not gonna fucking do that.

They'll go, you know what? But that order's over. All of Texas is now fighting the US government. How about that? But then we're just never gonna come. Cause why? It never will. What's the goal?

Like what? The, what, what's the end goal? Now they have total, that that, even as a kid when Cobra Commander was like, and Cobra will world the world. Even as a kid I was like, and then what? And then what? Yeah, let's watch.

What a shit. We already got sick guns, what more And then what? Yeah, we're more like, what a shit. We already got sick guns, we're more than one. We already got cool toys. All right, Joe, it's a, I disagree with you, but I would defend to the death, you're right to make a complete ass of yourself. He's retarded ideas. Okay, Joe, thank you.

You have so many other great rage topics. You got to come back on. I will. I great rage topics. You got to come back on. I will. I'll be honest. You have to come back. This was fun. It's, um, I like shouting about shit. It was fun and I'm going to be pissed out of off about it all week. Look, like going through and this motherfucker trying to take my guns to the show star. What the fuck does he think he is? I'm going to be on your Emmy page saying, fuck on his trailer. Let me tell you about this fucking guy. Politically, you fucking infuriate me sometimes.

What do you mean? What did I do? No, listen, let me fuck. You're one of the, I'm taking everybody's guns. You're one of the funniest fucking, like infuriatingly funny people. Oh, thank you. That I know. And that dichotomy makes my brain bleed sometimes.

Because logically, I feel like that shouldn't work. Look, I'm just trying to make comedy great again. All right, that's it. I've got a couple more things to get through. I wanted to get to some hot goss with Tim Chang, but I guess I'll get to that next week. There's some, there's this rumor going around that I'm in a Snapchat video of Maddox's, but it must be an old, I gotta say, because everybody keeps asking me, it must be an old video that he's put, because it sounds exactly like me.

Really? Yeah, that's weird. But it's gotta be an old video, and then I wanna get Tim Chang's on here. But it's not you. Well, it sounds me, it could be me, and it would be an old video if that's true, but I don't remember doing it.

Do you see what I'm saying? Yeah, no, of course. Yeah, so that's just, that's my answer to that. Also, people like in the background or something? Yeah, but man, I got a very distinct voice. Okay, and it sounds like somebody's imitating me perfectly. Huh. The thing with Tim, so Tim Shang, now.

Good dude. He's a good dude, but I had beef with him because when I started this show, he said he was not allowed to come on this show. If the, with the proviso of if he wanted his own podcast on the madcast Indiana Jones bag selling network or whatever, whatever it is, whatever it was going to be called. And he was agonizing over it, but I was like, Tim, just, you know, don't worry about it. You got to do what's best for you.

Sure. Like always do what's best for you. So that's what I thought he was running with. And then he told me he decided not to do that, but he still didn't want to come on this show because of the drama. Like he didn't want to be involved in the drama. Like, motherfucker, you came onto the show calling people a bitch and fucking with them at their house. You're posting behind the scenes footage of me at like doing comedy shit where I look fatter than hell. Like,

I'm in my, this shitty, janky apocalypse outfit from X-Men that I put together at the last minute. And Tim walks over, takes a video of me looking like a sausage man crammed into his spandex and then throws it up on Twitter. Like I wake up and see my fat fucking self. Like what the hell, man, I drank like 60, what are you doing? Why are you doing this to me? So then he says to me, hey, just so you know,

I don't wanna be in the drama, so don't talk about it on your podcast. I'm like, what do you mean you don't want to be in the drama? You've constantly fucked people over with drama. I've seen Tim Chang on stage calling out a man in front of his girlfriend for hitting on Playboy models. Like, you are the king of throwing people under the bus. What are you talking about?

You don't want to be involved in the drama. You are the, like Tim, Tim is, I love Tim. I think he's one of the funniest people I've ever met. All I wanted to do was have him on. And like, cause he's, he's dying, this is where he shines. He will say something every five minutes that I couldn't, that I couldn't write in a million years.

Yeah. And he'll go on a run like that. Like he's amazing at it. It's such a talent and a million years. Yeah. And he'll go on a run like that. Like he's amazing at it. It's such a talent and a rare thing. I wanted, that's what I wanted. That's why I brought him under the biggest problem. Like that's why I fought to have him and then ended up just bringing him on.

Cushion was absent. I, the way he can just run something, like you swear he's reading. Yes, you swear he's prepared in an advance, but he never does. No. He's just that weird and fucked. Like his thought process is that.

Just like the way mine is just a bitch about everything. So that's what I wanted. I was like, Tim, come on, come on the show. It'll be great. Like I love talking to you. I love doing your like, we'll do some dick ride in episodes, you be in the car, I'll be on the car. And all that, he got real, he got real squeamish.

And I just wanna know what the, what the ban was. Like, okay, I get that you wanna do a podcast that you can't be on Maddox's network and like he won't let you be on the show. Like, what was that about? I guess that's been resolved because he says he's not doing a podcast on the Madcast Network, but I still don't know if he's like allowed to come, I guess if he's not doing that,

he's allowed to come on this show. Well, you can just have you asked him recently? Well, that's what I was the thing. When I was at that Korean Dodger night, I assumed it was dead and just not follow up with it. Oh. Korean Dodger Knight. I assumed it was dead and just not follow up with it. But when I was at Korean Dodger Knight, he hit me up. You know the Knights at Dodger games and any baseball stadium are like,

they're always gonna fuck up. You know, like Korean Knight, Bobblehead Knight, baseball Knight. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. Every one of those Knights is your guaranteed laughs, right? So I'm at that night and this poor bastard dressed like sigh singing the American national anthem. Oh, yeah. And we're all like, he's any other situation any other circumstance. I would be listening to this and I would respectfully nod

and keep a straight face and try to make the person next to me laugh by giving them little looks and shit so they felt uncomfortable in a visual lab. But this guy, this guy brought it upon himself by getting up there dressed like Psy and jazzing up the national anthem. If you're gonna jazz up the national anthem, you better be the best fucking singer on earth.

Right? Yeah. Like, if you're gonna start throwing in, whoo, these little runs and putting in a little dance for the national anthem, especially if you're obviously very Korean from Korea, like, and you are a pop star, English is not your first language. English is not even a language on your list. It's not even on your dance card.

Perhaps you've heard some of it in a movie and you're reading a phonyx chart to sing the national anthem. That's what it sounded like. It sounded like he had never, it sounded like he had never sang it before. It was that bad. And heard somebody say, hey, you're kind of fucking up most of the words.

Like they don't, you're putting the wrong and fastest on a lot of those syllables, right? He had the lyrics like in a headset and he's just trying to sing along with it. It's the first time he's heard it. Yeah, he's just chasing it. He's chasing it. He's chasing it.

And he got all the way through like the cadence and the rhythm was all fucked up. What about the pitch? The pitch was great. He's just singing. He just said it. But he knew the sound it like an alien singing it because the cadence was so fucked up. And he would like start in advance and you could tell he was doing it on purpose

to go like syncopated beat. Oh, okay. But that is not necessary in the national anthem. Just say it and get it over with. Don't fuck around. Don't fuck up. That's all you have to do with the national anthem. So he gets to, it was, he gets to,

though, I, it was, he gets to, I think it was, I don't, I think it might have been the lock its red glare or something like that. It wasn't to ran to the free. It was before that. And this guy, this guy about three rows back just goes, boo. He just shouts, boo. You're just one simple thing. Not like an aggressive boo just. Oh, boo. He just had to let it out.

Yeah, he had to let it out. And there was a murmur that went through the crowd like a horrifying like, oh, oh, everyone, everyone's having a fancy experience it. All the security started carrying women out because they were fainting in the crowd. Like a bald eagle died midair of a heart attack of a stroke and fell onto the field. Anyway, this is right while this is happening, Tim hits me up to come be on whatever he's doing.

And I'm like, wait a minute. Didn't you just fuck me around for a month? Now you want me to be on your show? What the fuck, what are you talking about? What is the, where is the quid pro quo here? So, so he has a show? I don't fucking know. I don't know.

He's a young man. He's a young man. He's a young man. You need some guidance. That's what, that's why I want to get him on this show to ask what the fuck happened. Like Tim, what the hell happened? You need to, like, what, somebody needs to be telling you

to, you to, you don't walk everyone through your decision. You're not LeBron, like, look what happened to LeBron. He looks like a fucking asshole, because he's just dicking everyone around and turning into a big spectacle. He don't do that. But then he came back to Cleveland,

won a championship, and now he's never be able to buy a drink in that city again. Well, Tim's gonna have to come on. Are you gonna be his Cleveland? Are you gonna be Tim Singh's Cleveland? I hope he comes on here. I love the guy. I don't give a shit about any kind of drama going around. I just love talking to him. So I hope he comes on the show and we can work out the timeline of what exactly happened. That was my hot cause. Dustin,

I want to close out with you on the dickheads on Facebook. Are you there? Hey, I'm here. Can you hear me? Yes, I can hear you. And you've got drama going on too. There's always drama going on. Always drama going on in the dickhead army. It's crazy. What the fuck is going on on Facebook where motherfuckers are getting banned and they're pissed about, they're sending me emails

like telling on you, saying you banned them unfairly. They've been taddling, they've been taddling. So the deal is, you know, in discussion with, you know, the other admin and, you know, you obviously were involved in that as well. The, we decided that there would be best if there were a couple rules in place just to keep everything, you know, fine, make sure it doesn't get reported to Facebook, make sure you don't have any flack and, you know, you're good for any potential. Make sure everyone has a good time. That's a short step to drone though, Dick. Slippery slope.

Slippery, look at this guy, it's fucking regulation. Slippery slope. This is, in fact, a slippery slope. But if we go by our values, right, the value of building a wall, okay? Fences make good neighbors. And if somebody's on there throwing stuff at our neighbors, we're not gonna put up with that, okay?

I mean, look, it's Facebook. It's the, as far as like internet bullshit goes, it has the most decorum. If you want to, someone you like, you're not banned from. Well, Facebook, no, no, the opposite. Facebook is the first one I get banned from. You've been banned on Facebook? Oh, yeah. Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Oh, yeah, dude. I am still banned from Facebook. So I have to use a different email. I thought that was a safe joke.

No, that's not a joke on there. I've been banned from Facebook three times. And it used to be back in the day before Facebook was like a politically correct Gestapo. Some dude would find my request and unbanned me. I'd have a conversation with the guy about unbending and putting him on some kind of list, but eventually I got put on the permaband list.

We're doing nothing, just minding my own business and making jokes. What's the big deal? Anyway, Dustin, you've got some banning going on and some complaining. There's some banning going on. Just as a side note, there are a couple of rules in place in the group,

and it's very simple stuff. And you sign it up the best when you said that if it gets you kicked out of a bar, it gets you kicked out of the group, all right? A lot of people are on Facebook, not just internet people who are super savvy. There's a lot of people on there that potentially make decisions for future things.

And you want to have the best face possible when you're out there. Now, if you want to talk toggle anything else in the entire world, something that really bugs you and maybe we, you know, it's, it's, it's, we only select words that we can't use. I'm not sure 100% what the rules are and the other options, but there are other DIC show communities. I know that there's a community on Reddit.

There is, of course, they're, then they're doing great fan art and bits, but they're very aggressive. Family, Facebook is a family friendly platform. I think everyone knows that. Of course, they're doing great fan art and bits, but they're very aggressive. Family Facebook is a family friendly platform. I think everyone knows that. Yeah, I post on Reddit myself. I mean, they're all the time, but then address was reddit.com slash r slash the DIC show. And there also is a channel on the IRC chat service.

I'm not very familiar with that. I've only ever used it once. So I don't know what the address is, but I plan on linking to both of those in the Facebook group. Hey, look, look, you're here putting things together and making the call. You don't got to run ads for those guys. They told them if they want to get in on the action, they can do this too. And you get, but you, you are doing an amazing job of putting this shit together behind the scenes.

I really appreciate it. So the, the Facebook is Facebook.com slash group slash the Dickshell, right? Correct. Yeah. All right. You got it. What do you got? What do you got for us today?

You got somebody calling in with a, with a, with a question, a meeting, meeting women, a dating question, right? Yeah. It's, it's, it's, it's essentially a request for a Dictip. And we get a lot of those throughout the week and certain ones jump out and, you know, they really capture our attention. And this actually reminded me of the troubles that we would have, you know, earlier in our life, when you're younger, you're grown up,

you're having, you know, it's a little bit of difficulty, uh, speaking with women or meeting people. And this guy really was just in a situation. I think he could really use some dick. Well, do you? So, uh, do you want to read, do you want to read his email for us? I know he's on the line, but I'd prefer if you read it. Yeah, I know I'll read it to you. So he writes in, he writes in, hey, dick, so I'm 20 years old

and going to university for computer science. And as you can imagine, Oh, you got strikes against you already, buddy. They're already adding up. Go ahead. As you can imagine, there isn't much to look at. I'm trying to put myself out there and meet the brides who are looking for a nice guy so that I can disappoint them.

Once, once I'm 21, I figure it'll be easier to at least meet the honey's, but that's still a while away. And I don't feel like getting a fake ID. Can't, can't risk that. Yeah. He has, he has an MIP currently. So, oh, cool. You're a real risk taker. MIP. Matt, Matt from South Carolina. Matt, are you on? I am. Yeah. You're from South

Carolina. You're not too far away from Joe Stars home. How you doing, brother? I'm doing all right. How are you? Yeah, man. Hey, you're in college. I am. Yeah. And you think it's going to be easier to meet women when you're over 21 and you can go out and drink? That's my thought process, yeah. Let me dispel you of that notion. It is. Fucking impossible to go out and meet women.

My friend, you are in the Shangri-La of meeting women. You are in college? are you in a dorm? I'm not. I'm off campus. All right, you still, you have access. You have access per capita, per square foot. You've got access to more single women now than you will ever have for the rest of your life. You know what I'm saying?

I mean, you can, I can go. If I tried, I could probably go for two weeks without encountering a single woman just day by day. I would say I have to go out of my way to come across a single woman. You, I bet you could go, I bet you could walk on campus on the way to class, throw a football and hit a single woman. Would that be absolutely right? I bet you could go, I bet you could walk on campus on the way to class, throw a football and hit a single woman. That would be right.

That would be right. All right, man. So what's the issue? You're an engineer. So you've got to be the boy to girl ratio's got to be fucking you to the tune of about three to one. Yeah, I think there's like one girl in my classes. And she's probably a lesbian.

This is my experience with engineering. Like, you know, it's just a lot more competition for you. Yeah. What's your major problem? Is it going out of your comfort zone and talking to girls? Yeah, yeah. I'm in a fraternity, not a big one, but we're busy with that. And then I'm also in marching band at my school.

And that's just a big time commitment. So it's hard to go out of my way because I don't have the time a lot Marching band though. Let's go on chicks in it. Yeah, but they all and this is gonna be a big positive that they all have daddy issues, but They all do yeah do in marching band turns out they do in pottery class They do art history. They do in engineering. They do in marching band, turns out they do in pottery class, they do art history, they do an engineering, they do in bars, wherever you go over the rest of your life, they got daddy issues. Right. What do you do? What do you do extra curricularily? Like the big, the co-edged shit, the doing the softball, should in college, the fray, the frisbee tag. Maybe there's a Pokemon go club.

I'm trying to get my fraternity to start doing uh, uh, inner mural sports. And that'll be a big one, I think. Oh, yeah. Cause I'm the social chair. So I got to get us doing that kind of shit. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah, you got to get that going right away. What's the, what's the hold up? What are your frat bros saying? Are they like, here's what I've noticed about young people in frats. Is your frat an honor frat? Like is this the engineering? No, it's social, but it's not your typical frat bro where I don't want to give away what it is.

But we're a bunch of weirdos like compared to other frats basically. You're a trial aim, I get it. What? Oh, is that the Jared's? Yeah. Yeah're a trial aim, I get it. What? Oh, is that the Jared's? Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I get you.

So what's the, what I've noticed in, with the frat culture, for young people specifically, is that there is a, there's almost a lack of, there's a complete lack of sexuality, and testosterone flowing around, that's like kind of degrading generation by generation. I wonder if you're experiencing anything like that where you're trying to get some intermural

cow-ed activities going and your boys are more interested in playing FIFA. Oh, absolutely. Oh, yeah, that's absolutely like. Um, but I'm trying to fix that more personally because I'm moving into a different apartment soon with some of the different brothers who are the more outgoing and are more willing to do that kind of stuff. Okay.

But the problem there is two of the four guys I'm living with will have girlfriends. So they don't need to be as a bad goldmine. Yes, that is your pivot. You, this is what women love. They love a schedule. If you can get some kind of a barbecue or tailgate or something where, because you can't pop an activity

on a woman and have her just show up for it. It's got to be something that she can look at a track record of women not getting, they're not getting dragged off by their hair when they go. Like they're of the mindset of, if this is a one-off, I'm terrified of it because they should be. Because there's people like me out there setting up Pokemon lures in their apartment to try to hit broads up. So you gotta set up, you work with these girlfriends

and set up a regular thing. Like if you have a regular Trump rally viewing, that's something chicks would love to do. Nothing makes up pussy water. Like a Trump getting up there talking about Mexico paying for walls and campaigns. And that Pence is, you know what I'm saying? Yeah, yeah, my last success at a party, actually,

I was wearing a Trump hat, so I know what you're doing, though. Oh, they like it. Yeah. They like it. And they're hotter, too. We're probably gonna be more hot as shit. Give something like that a shot. Get something on the reg going.

Right. And get these girlfriends to try to help you out. Here's where I think you're doing things the right way. So you don't just feel like, I'm hopeless or whatever. You've recognized the fact that sitting around and playing FIFA is probably not, and then just being like, why isn't anybody fucking me? Yeah, it's probably not the way to go.

You're like, hey, let's go out there. Let's have something to offer, whether it's these intermural sports or it's the regular activity. Yeah. I think there's a balance there. Just being like, I'm nice. That's not enough.

You gotta have something to offer as a person. Yeah, you do. And if you set up like this party type of situation, you're gonna be the king of the law. Oh yeah, our house is like we're the party group of our group of friends. So yeah, you don't need any fucking help, just get off your ass and get some things going,

get some games going, you know, get a Trump Olympics going, as roundly as the gym, be getting laid out. You know what, yeah, and I think as far as meeting women go, and look, you're what, you're 20. This shift takes a while to figure out, you know, I think, you know, the movie High Fidelity, John Cusack, I do. He's what he's like 37 in that movie before he starts figuring some of these things out.

You could go off on that movie all day. Oh, I was the end of men. That movie. It was described to me as a chick flick for guys. Yeah, that term was invented for that movie. And that, that was like the end of male civilization. That, the chick flick for guys, because that language spread through men's brains

like a fucking virus, like syphilis. Like right when we had cured syphilis, the chick flick for guys, spread through our brains and ruin us. I'm sorry, I brought it up. No, I think I, I don't ever forget it. I remember the alapoint. You were gonna make a point

and I was gonna point out how much he pisses him off. Yeah. No, no worry, I think that having something to all, I think a lot of guys quit and where the frustration and anger comes from is because they go, but I'm nice. And that's it. That's where they stop. Yeah, you made that joke, man.

But you, what do you, you're not worried about being a nice guy, are you? Oh, no. Yeah, I think, I think it's just, it's having something to offer, whether it's like, hey, I'm running these intermurals, and I'm participating in them. Don't down yourself on the computer. You know, you were making a joke, I get it, where you're like, I'm a computer engineering guy, so let about sums it up.

Dude, you're a fucking computer engineering guy. That's fucking cool. How's a goddamn theater major, dude? I'm a fucking worthless human being. But you understand? A wash and broads. Oh, dude. I'm a fucking worthless human being. But you understand? A wash and broads. Oh, absolutely.

Yeah, you fuck you, make me sick. But you, you, you're, you're fucking. Have some respect for that. That that's what you do. You bring some things to the table. Have some things to offer. Hey, here's a lot of seriousness, too. Like, what you do and who you are don't have to be the same thing.

So you could be doing that, but you could still, yeah, your personality could have a hundred other aspects. Sure. I was more just getting at that there's not a lot of hot women in it. Oh, okay, well that, don't worry. And that's true. And that's true. And that's why these girls need to learn how to code emojis

at a young age so that this 20 year old son of a bitch has more chicks than is that there is more you want to leave another for the next generation. Yeah, they all need to be buried in their fucking phones drawing little pictures of themselves. That's what the next generation need. That's what a world of women coders needs to be making emojis on some fucking app on their phone. Well, so all the guys will be walking around playing Pokemon go and trying to catch little little shreds of their masculinity

that were shredded by high fidelity. And the girls are going to be going around drawing little pictures and those games are going to make everybody who drives a mass murderer. We got it. I'm going to sell it because it just walking off fucking, but curbs just to play the africate. More women interested in engineering and shit like that means more women that this guy has an instant conversation with. More women, let's more women feelings show overwhelmed by CS1 that they want to shoot themselves.

That's, yeah, that's it. That's it. That's the tutoring. That's the tutoring. That's that spark. That's that moment I contact with these two where they're both like, fuck CSS. That's the start of a wonderful relationship. All right, Matt, does any of that help? Oh, yeah, absolutely.

All right. You would, I think you want to tell the shits for gugglers. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I failed you. Look, if I had one thing into this conversation, you're in it. And Sean, if you want to edit this, that's fine. You want to cut it.

Who is this? It does. I know. So, okay, one thing, let me just dig head, killing his momentum immediately. Go ahead, trust the money. Sorry, sorry, go ahead. Who is this new phone?

It's worse than the dog's bark in there. Okay. Yeah. So as a follow up, you wanna have a plan in place for when you do finally, you know, that date with that woman that you're looking, you know, you're looking at. So one of the best options you could have is bowling.

And that's, you know, I know that sounds crazy, but it's tactile. It's erotic. You use your fingers, right? You're playing with the ball there. You have to be able to block them, instruct them on their arm movement and throw it down the lane. And then afterwards, afterwards, you have to like, you get to take your shoes off and do like a switch aru. That's erotic. You to take your shoes off and do like a switch

or who that's erratic you can tell your shoes look at your pants for I'll tell you how right you are I almost knocked the guy out for teaching trying to teach my girlfriend at the time how to bowl I was so fucking pissed off he's telling her how to bowl and I warmed up he's right. She walked away and I walk and I said dude dude, I need you to never fucking tell. You are not telling my girlfriend how to bowl up here. I'm not stop laughing. I'm dead fucking serious.

You will stop giving her bowling ticket. That's fucking right. I'm looking now. It's like, I see what you're doing. I know maybe you don't, but I kind of think you do. You do not talk to her in that tone. And plus you're drinking the entire night, which is fantastic.

If I can caveat on this. Come on. Those are tools. You know what I'm saying? Yeah. But if you don't have that fucking foundation in place feeling good about yourself, knowing what you're bringing to the party,

I can have a fucking toolbox, but like, you know what I'm saying? Do you feel good about yourself, Matt? Oh yeah. All right, good. Cool. You're, sorry. You're rolling.

Yeah. Find your L Woods, find some A-type chick that wants to do the same thing because they love setting up parties. Then you don't have to do any work. Yeah. Right. All right, buddy.

Thank you. Thank you for calling in. Oh, thank you for the Dictip. I let us know if it works out. I will. Call that semi-anemail or something. Dustin. Yes, sir. Thank you for setting that. We're getting a little long I let us know if it works out. I will. Call back, send me an email or something. Dustin.

Yes, sir. Thank you for sending that. We're getting a little long and I got one more big announcement to make. I'm excited to hear it. I'm excited to hear it. I'm excited to hear it. I'll be back again sometime. Yes.

Yeah, come back next week. Those people are being mean to you. Really? No, people are being mean to Dustin. Oh, to Dustin. Oh, to Dustin. Yeah, what did that guy, somebody said, somebody from IRC

was instantly complaining about you being on this episode. I mean, people just always complain. You're doing a great job. Thank you, thank you. I love this stuff you're bringing in. I love the, I've really deeply appreciated, thank you. Don't let people, I mean you're getting... Look, if you put one of these kids in charge,

they'd let it fall apart in a fucking day. You'd have a mess on your hands. Be it, doing the shit you're doing is not easy, man. It takes a man to do this gig, and I get that. For living, I'm in sales, so I've dealt with a lot of angry people in my life. So it's really not a big deal whatsoever. I love what I'm doing. I love the show. I'm a big fan and that's where this all comes from.

So if they want to step up and take a turn and make their own community and try to bring people together and try to have a little bit of influence and input into the show that they care so much about, they should really give it a try. Yeah, or stop complaining. Stop fucking gambling. Or complain funnier.

Yeah, or really let somebody have it. All right, I got speaking of rage. I got the rage lottery. So on the Patreon, everybody who's on, everybody who's a Patreon gets a raffle ticket every month. And then I draw a raffle ticket, and that person's gonna call in or select someone to call in for them about what makes them a rage. They're gonna get on the list.

They're going to compete with Joe. They're going to compete with Denzel. Oh, cool. They're going to compete with John Ford. That's what we're doing. I think Joe is as much of a rage as anyone who's been on this show. I think so too. Thank you.

For sure. I think it takes a lot of balls to ambel into this Trump house and speak ill of guns. Yeah. Especially knowing how many guns there. I could have been triggered at any moment, just shooting everybody in my wild blood massacre. Okay, here's the rage, the rage winner for this month who will select the champion, who will select the topic, who will call in, who will compete, is Christopher Hallen. There you go, Joe, you got anything to plug?

Good to, Chris. Yeah, look, if you like professional wrestling and you like jokes and you don't think I'm a complete piece of shit, go to DevastatorPress.com. I did a funny pro wrestling parody magazine called Leg Drop. You can buy a digital for a dollar. That's a deal. That's a bargain.

That's a deal. It's a deal. I've also got a comedy album. It's called a heroic effort. You can get on iTunes or you can get it on a band camp.com to name your price, also a bargain. Wow, what price should people name? Like 20, 30 bucks? Yeah, you know, 50, 60.

Okay. Yeah, throw a few bucks at it and with your conch. I'd love for you to give it a listen. Yeah. All right, thank you very much. I love you to give it a listen. Yeah. All right, thank you very much. Thanks for having me here. Dustin, thank you for calling in.

Thank you for setting everything up. Check out Dickheads on Facebook. Sean, we gotta go buy you some new fucking equipment. All right, I need some of the road case to carry around. Yeah, you guys enjoy shopping today. All right, this is the Dick's show. Oh God. See you next Tuesday.

Is that thing? Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey See you next Tuesday. Open your heart and you can eat it, eat it, eat it, eat it, eat it, eat it, eat it, eat it, eat it, eat it, eat it, eat it, eat it, eat it, eat it, eat it, eat it, eat it, eat it, eat it, eat it, eat it, eat it, eat it, eat it, eat it, eat it, eat it, eat it, eat it, eat it, eat it, eat it, eat it, eat it, eat it, eat it, eat it, eat it, eat it, eat it, eat it, eat it, eat it, eat it, eat it, eat it, eat it, eat it, eat it, eat it, eat it, eat it, eat it, eat it, eat it, eat it, eat it, eat it, eat it, eat it, eat it, eat it, eat it, eat it, eat it, eat it, eat it, eat it, eat it, eat it, eat it, eat it, eat it, eat it, eat it, eat it, eat it, eat it, eat it, eat it, eat it, eat it, eat it, eat it, eat it, eat it, eat it, eat it, eat it, eat it, eat it, eat it, eat it, eat it, eat it, eat it, eat it, eat it, eat it, eat it, eat it, eat it, eat it, eat it, eat it, eat it, eat it, eat it, eat it, eat it, eat it, eat it, eat it, eat it, eat it, eat it, eat it, eat it, eat it, eat it, eat it, eat it, eat it, eat it, eat it, eat it, eat it, eat it, eat it, eat it, eat it, eat it, eat it, eat it, eat it, eat it, eat it, eat it, eat it, eat it, eat it, eat it, eat it, eat it, eat it,!