The Dick Show - Episode 79 - Dick on Road Rage: Chicago

Episode Date: December 5, 2017

Christmas lights and looking at Christmas lights, furries vs. cat ladies vs. cat cafes, Coach's $61.00 invoice, Road Rage: Chicago and the minds blown therein, "Thank You" cards, self-identification of hardness, Kimball vs. Peach: the Cuckening, short privilege, many NSFW rants, Braveheart II: The Patriot, my drunk driving self-driving car app, and throwing up in Jujutsu class; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!

Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa masters and with me is always a Sean. Hello, dick. Body engineer. What's up, buddy? Oh, shit. Isn't that any other? How are you doing after road rage Chicago? Um, on a scale of one to coach with me being in the middle. How are you doing? Oh, because coach is writing. Is he writing a high? Oh, Sean. He's a big shot.

He texted me. He just texted me and I wouldn't have mentioned this except I'm pissed at him. Oh, yeah. Yeah, I'm very pissed at his ass He texted me saying hey, I just threw up in jujitsu. Let me read his actual text. Okay. Well, you know Jesus fuck JFC threw up at jujitsu today must have been a big week For coach for a big man. Yeah a coach, for a big man. One big week for a man.

One big puke at jujitsu class. That's how that goes. He's in jujitsu class, earning his belts. They're probably based on that trip. His belts are probably getting bigger too. It's today's the day of his big test, Sean. Oh, really? Yeah, I don't know.

Oh, yeah, sure. Look, when you study jujitsu every day of his big test, Sean. Oh, really? Yeah, I don't know. Oh, yeah, sure. Look, when you study jujitsu every day is a big test. Yeah. It's not, it's about the discipline inside. Yeah, it's more important than, yeah. It's about showing up. It is. It's not about the big tests.

It's not about the belt. It's about showing up. But it's also about the belt. About the belt, yeah. And it's all, and when you puke at jujitsu class, you have to go back to the beginning Yeah, it's like shoots and ladders when you throw up right at the very end of Jiu Jitsu class You slide your stupid ass all puke-ing ass and a big river of puke all the way back to the beginning of Jiu Jitsu

Yeah, you have to wear a garbage bag belt for a week in order to even start earning a belt again. You don't get a white belt. You just get an extension cord that you have to tie around your pants. Peace a rope. Yeah. Right. That you can do whatever you want with. They suggest hanging yourself. Yeah, yeah, yeah, because you've embarrassed the entire discipline. Yeah. Right. Whatever you've embarrassed the Jews in the Jew Jjitsu. Yes. I don't know what they have you well You now you just get to do jitsu. Yeah Your jiu is the jiu is we save that well you need to get the guys serious You need to pony up the dough to get the jiu back. All right now we're making fun of someone else

Yeah Coach does jujitsu Perhaps he'll talk about it next time. He started it to learn some discipline. Yeah. He showed up though. Good thing. Well, it's a good thing it hasn't affected any other portions of his life.

You know, I mean, as far as discipline. It's like working his marriage. Yeah. That went fine. Yeah. But he shows back up. He gets home from road rage, Chicago. Goes to Jiu Jitsu class and then throws up all over himself.

Awesome. It'll sneak up on you. Awesome. You know? Yeah, sneak up on you. It's like you can't, you remember. Oh, I remember going to, you and you can't tell that you're that sick. It's just that it's just that you're like rebuilding a human and you kind of don't have

enough to rebuild all the way down to the found and to the middle. Yeah. Skeleton. So you, the Skellington, so you exhaust your, you exhaust your resources and you're looking for that second, that second log, you know, the green log and back, or the yellow log and back to the future three. You've already, you've burned through your green log that gets you up to 65. And then you're looking for that yellow log. That's right. And you realize, oh, shit, I drank that

all weekend with a bunch of dickheads at McGee's in Chicago. It's where it started. And another place. And the Apollo theater. Yeah. And the pork and the, and the, and the pig in pork. All bars now. Yeah. Pig and, they're pig in the pork and the barrel. That might have been one. They just pick one. Yeah. Barn, barn and pig, right? Barn and hoof. Hoof and mouth. Right. That's where we were drinking. Yeah. And you drank all of it there. So you look for that yellow log and then you realize, shit, I'm not going back to the future. And then you puke all over yourself at you, Jiu-Jitsu class. I'm pissed at that fucking guy because he sends me an invoice this morning.

Shhh. Ha ha ha ha. How long have I known this guy? One of my 20 years. 20 years. Something like that. I would never accuse him of having a rape list. Right.

No matter how many of my ex-girlfriends he fucked. Right. That's how close I am. But I mean, how pissed, I mean, are you gonna do that tonight? I might do that now. Yeah. Coach maintains a rape list. Yeah, it does.

It's 8chan.net slash coach. Yeah. Um, and he's list, it's a list of guns that he wants to rape. Yeah. That's his rape list. Right. He sends me, he sends me an invoice for $60. And it's itemized as Thessaly. Couple of pints at McGee's, $20,

which is the bar we went to the night before the show. Keep in mind, I paid for the room, I paid for his ticket, I was buying everyone lunch and dinner wherever we were going. Oh yeah. Fuffie every morning, you know, Diego got the coffee, but I'll pay for it. No, I know, yeah. He got a, he got a, he got a, he got a party weekend.

Party weekend. Yeah. With like, hunch, it for basically 60 bucks. It blew his mind. Oh no, he's a guy, he's a guy who's, no, there's no living with him now. Well, no, no, no, I Oh no, he's a guy who's, no, there's no living with him now. Well, no, no, I'm saying this is a man who's, he's a big shot.

Well, his mind is unblowable. I know. You know, he's like a philosopher's stone. He's like a philosopher and he's so dense that you need a jackhammer to get into his head sometimes. Right, I'm kidding, coach. I'm kidding, don. I'm kidding. Don't worry about this.

He is, he's like, but he's unflappable in the mind. Yeah. Everything else was gone to shit, but the mind, everything else, it will embrace temptation, but his mind will not sharp, like a diamond, right? But he was phased and moved and completely blown away by the weekend. Yeah, because of the dickheads,

because of the people, because of Richard Cox. Absolutely. And Mad Cox was too. And it's funny, it's, oh yeah, big time. It was, I think what it comes down to is that until you, until you do one, you don't know how much the show means to the people who come. And that's like, I mean, I take that really seriously because it's, yeah, it's, it really is mind blowing. It's such a, it's such a community.

I mean, look at how much it meant to one listener, Sean. This is a 40 double D cup, for sure that I'm holding. Yeah, I saw that flung that monster hit the stage. Constance, don't say that. That's not how you describe a bra. Well, I mean, it's a monster. You know, that's probably not like that.

You don't say goddamn bitch, you got big, you got a big fat elephant ass. Even though it's a compliment to you, I'm this a dick tip for guys. I mean, you don't, you have to work that in. Yeah, that's, I mean, that's a, that's a, I do, I do, and I'm what I've learned. Well, and here's the thing, what I've learned with it's,

I'm saying big tips. It's not like she was huge too. Like so. Look at this bersier, Sean. Sky blue. Yeah. Woo. Imagine the jiggling that's been going on

and these cups that I'm holding right now. I thought it was that guy who won episode two. It was maybe the one who threw that, but. It was a big guy. It was a big guy. Literally the biggest dickhead perhaps. Yeah. It was his rage like a toilet paper, bad toilet paper,

and the... I don't remember. We'll find out on the video. I guess so. We'll get posted on Tuesday. This episode's coming on on Tuesday. The video will probably get posted paper in the... I don't remember, we'll find out on the video. I guess so. It gets posted on Tuesday. This episode's coming on on Tuesday. The video will probably get posted later in the day. There'll be no sleep.

There will be no sleep for Diego. As he slaves over a doby premiere to bring you the high fidelity recording. Oh, your mother fucker. What? Oh, I thought you're baiting me. I clearly worked. What do you? Yeah, yeah. What are you talking about? No, I thought that I wasn't. I thought that was actually a pretty clever lead in. What do you want to talk about? Oh, I want to talk about what makes

me a rage this week. What makes you rage this week? Audio engineers. Why? Because which one specifically some green haired freak in Chicago? Okay. Nice. Felt the need to just, you know, do his best help out with the show and you call him freak. Yeah. Help out with the show. Yeah.

I would think he'd be paid by the venue. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. He, he fucked me good. Oh, what did he, he fucked me good. What did he do? Well, he doesn't know how to he did all kinds of processing that he shouldn't have been doing when it was, you know, on input to the console. So he decided to set these things called noise gates. This is any women who are listening right now

have just clicked off. No way Sean, they're throwing their bazaars off, right? They're monster bazaars as you call them. It's so insensitively and unsexual. So operating on like three hours sleep in the last week. Give me a break. Yeah, so let's just say we're lucky the camera guy was rolling audio because some of the stuff that, yeah, it would gait out like a noise gate, what do you mean gait, gait out? Yeah, a noise gate. What do you mean gate, gay out?

Yeah, well, yeah. What do you mean? When in Chicago? What are you, what are you saying? What's a gay out of the audio? A gay. What do you mean by that? So people know what you mean? What I mean is it's a, it's something that it turns down the signal going in.

If it's below a certain threshold to where it cuts it out altogether altogether if you go to extreme with it, which is what he did. So if you talk loudly, if you talk loud enough, it goes above that threshold and the channel opens up. Like you can gait out your wife or girlfriend. Yeah. She's talking about work and you're like, oh, bitch, I'm gating your ass. So he doesn't know how to set one. Right now I'm slowly gating your shit out.

So you can't see me glancing at the Reddit, or, oh, let's see what's going on with Busty and Petit today. I got to angle my phone. I got to angle, I got to do the cue ball math, the geometry in my mind to see that you can't see my phone screen as I'm flipping through. Let me just get that bigger than you thought, subreddit up here, okay.

Like that kind of gating out. Yeah, I wish. So what do you do? Well, you won't be laughing when you hear it. Oh, no. Did you fix it? If something's not recorded, you can't fix anything. So you wanted to get the video audio.

Oh, yeah, or else there's like no crowd interaction. Yeah, the goddamn gate set so high, you wouldn't have heard any of the interaction with the crowd. Well, we need that because people no crowd interaction. Yeah, the goddamn gate set so high, you wouldn't have heard any of the interaction with the crowd. But we need that, because people were going crazy. Oh yeah, oh no, no, I got it. That's why I had the camera audio.

When we were fucked. Or we were fucked. Madcucks came out spinning like a Tasmanian devil who is the size of a Sesame Street character spinning around with a towel, like a bath towel on his back. With a chip clip. A snack chip clip holding it together

with 20 crown stacked on his head. Yeah. Throwing out snacks. He was madcucks was spinning around the venue, throwing out chips and snacks in with one hand. And then his other hand, he was giving people forms where you could thank, you could write, you could sign a thank you note to him that he provided you where you could customize it by circling the adjectives that you wanted to thank him for being like greatest.

Choose your own adventure as far as the compliments go, which is a great idea. Well, because yeah, they all I mean, to be honest, they're all good because he would just delete them or, you know, no, this is a great like if you're giving out presence for Christmas, Christmas is coming up. And like the one thing that has always made me a rage about Christmas, even before my rage about Christmas was getting presents, because I fucking, I really am conflicted about getting presents. I get them and I know it's a take back experience.

Like I get them and I'm like, okay, first of all, how much thought, how much thought did you really put in this? Or did you just add it for Amazon? Number one, and number two, do I get the follow-up gift of you returning it for me? Because otherwise it's gonna sit in a pile in my hat, like this is a, you've bought me furry shoes. I don't wear furry shoes ever. Do you? They're make on a day.

Where you wear furry shoes? Is which you need furry shoes? No, my point is you get the present and it's and it's a It's a higher and higher chance every year that it's got to go back You know build a wall between me and the presents or else I'm sending them back every year But even before that even before being an ungrateful in grateful prick. I was gonna say was my rage My rage was the thank you notes. Okay that even before being an ungrateful, in grateful prick. Oh, I was gonna say, was my rage. My rage was the thank you notes. Okay. My mom would, I was a little child enjoying getting presents

for my birthday and Christmas and she would fucking hit, make sure you write thank you notes. Yeah. Make sure you write the thank you notes and looking back on it, I could go back and give her like a little write a note, like the notebook and send it back to my mom and say, Hey, why don't you write the fucking thank you notes and just have me sign them like I'm not equipped. I'm not equipped to deal with the level of civility in the the Jane Austen novel. They're the Emily Bronte novel that you want me to pretend like I'm in mom. I don't know how thank you notes work I don't know I don't have the ability to go to a stationary store or like

I have not yet developed the ability to pretend to be sincere Yeah, it's a big canvas to thank you note. Yeah, and it's a lot bigger when you're eight Mm-hmm. I don't know, mom, help me out. I don't know why this was, I don't know. Now I'm saying this out loud and I'm realizing this is probably part of my dysfunction that my mom did do this to me. Hey, you gotta, dick, you gotta get,

remember to write those thank you notes. Like, I don't know what to do that. I used to have to call the people. You did? Yeah, a lot of the time. Like a cold collar, like you're running a telephoto on your mom you know, it was like, she's Jerry Lewis. No, like Jerry Lee, wait, Jerry Lewis, which one is the, which one is the, Jerry Lewis was the Jerry's kids, the comedian. Jerry Lewis. Right. Jerry Lee Lewis is the one that married his

14 year old cousin. Okay. I think she was 13. Played a hell of a piano too, I hear. Yeah. Still alive. Unbelievable enough. What the killer? He's the only one of the son records, guys, who are, and he, he's tried to kill himself for years. I mean, they, what do you mean, literally? No, I mean, just, he can kill that piano. Yeah, he's done everything under the sun. Um, what would you do?

You have to call people and thank them for your Christmas presents? Yeah. Stuff like that. I would have preferred that. Yeah, oh, no, I know. I mean, at least you got it over with. No, I didn't, because I never. Yeah. Stuff like that. I would have preferred that. Yeah. Oh, no, I know. I mean, at least you got it over with.

No, I didn't because I never wrote one. Oh, good. Because I refused. Really? Yeah. Sean. Yeah. What would your mom say?

Just the same, you know, more guilt. Which you like. I'm very, very disappointed. I didn't want to get you. I would say, I'm gonna let you a fucking thank you, letter for that critique of my behavior or what? Cause put it on the stack, bitch. I'm not getting out of smoke, little fake cigarettes. I wouldn't do any of that.

My mom was great. You little, we did have gum cigarettes or whatever. We did disagree about who should be writing those thank you cards though. Yeah, yeah. But what I'm saying is Mad Cux's idea of a pre-written thank you card is great. Like every Christmas present should come

with a self-addressed stamped envelope and a pre-written thank you card where you could just circle shit and then drop in the mail. Especially if you're getting it for a guy. Yeah. Like get it for women, they love that kind of shit. They'll write letters to each other all fucking day.

Like they're planning the, like they're that kind of shit. They'll write letters to each other all fucking day. Like they're planning the, like they're planning America over there. But I don't wanna do that, I don't have time for that. Anyway, when Mad Cux came out, throughout the snacks, he threw out, on the other side of this, of this, choose your own adventure, thank you. If you choose not to thank him for the snacks,

is the lawsuit that he's simultaneously serving you with. Right. Yeah. You're in served. I think he's, I think he's funnier than a half a billion dollars. Personally. I mean, you know, you don't want to give, you know who any ideas.

He's never, he's never not. It's never not a funny thing that I wouldn't have thought of with Mad Cux. Never. It's always funnier than something I would have thought of. And even down to the last detail, like the case number of the lawsuit that Mad Cux served people with. What is it?

865309. Oh, oh, oh, detail. He's like, he's a one man Rick and Morty. Mad Cux. Yeah. You have to be a very, people don't know, a one man Rick and Morty. Mad Cux. Yeah. You have to be a very, people don't know, you have to be very smart to understand Mad Cux as genius. Mm-hmm.

Uh, anyway, when he came out to read the letter, the Goss Bond letter, the Maddox's breakup letter to 80s girl, that she found much, much later. You know, it's funny about that. I don't think I ever told this story. What's that? She found his letter like several years after they had broken up. Yeah. So well, it's just a small, small, just a small issue with that, that plan is that if you want to give

some a letter, you've got to look them in the eye like the pony express and give that to them. Yeah. You can't just cram it in a coat that they haven't worn in five years. And then say, whoop, boo. Like George Costanza hiding the fucking, what are you hiding? A napkin behind a pillow. So you'd have a reason to go over

to the girls' house again. Yeah. Or something like that. And it's like, nope, not here. And he's like, he knows damn well it's there. But I'll just sneak it into our next census mail. Yeah, nice. More than 10 years.

When Mad Cux read that letter, there was, it looked like a concert, like the front six rows all pulled up phones. Yeah, oh, and there was a, it was crazy. It's gonna be like the matrix when all of that gets spliced together. Like there's three, there's 180 degrees of Mad Cux. It could be turned into a 3D experience. Just of that fucking guy.

That crowd, they were, they were so energetic and yet so well behaved overall. That's because the, I think they were limited to two beers. Is that right? Yeah, I think I heard that they were limited to two drinks. Well, I mean, but I'm against in principle. They were partying. They were partying. I mean, mean, but I'm against in principle. They were partying to the photo. They were partying for... I mean, somebody puked in the stands. I mean, that's the girl. Yeah. The girl puked in the stands.

And according to a voicemail, I got a girl also shitter pants in the stands. I thought it was that girl and they were debating whether it was, she shed herself or puked, but that's phenomenal if it's both. Yeah, I think it might be both. Yeah, because if you're in for a penny, you might as well be in for a loaf. That's right if it's both. Yeah, I think it might be both. Yeah, because if you're if you're in for a penny,

you might as well be in for a loaf. That's right, you know? Yeah. Right? Yeah, we've all had to make that decision. Ah, well, I pissed on myself. I'm not fucking, I'm just gonna shit my pants too. Yeah, I can't walk like, I'm already walking like a duck.

Might as well shit like a duck too. Yeah. If it pisses its pants and walks like a duck, it's probably dick. I just feel like. Hahaha. People, some people complained about the letter. He said it wasn't funny enough.

Like yeah, I mean, that's why Maddox's book failed. Was it, because he's not funny enough writer. Well, I didn't fucking write it. You have to have written, broke up letters before they all worked, motherfucker. Coach asked me on the plane coming back, he's like, I've never written a letter like that. Have you ever written a letter like that to a woman to try to get her back? I'm like, all the time, man, I'm an asshole. I write most, I'll peel those letters off before I'm fucking sobered up in the morning. Are you kidding me?

Yeah. Works every fucking time too. You've got them like, file the way for the next time. Yeah, right? So it's like, I sent that one to the wrong email. That one's not gonna work out, put it in my drafts folder. Yeah, I said it out the next one.

It's gonna work the next time. I just changed the name. Sometimes I don't even have to change the name. Sean, depends. A lot of Ashley's in this world. That's true. You know? Yep.

People say the letter wasn't funny enough. Well, you know, what's supposed to be funny? No, the letter the words aren't supposed to be funny It's just it's funny that it was written on legal paper Which you can see in the video on patreon.com And that's the Diction things were crossed out you got a you got a look for the yeah, what's funny about it? Is that kind of stuff? Yeah, it's the detail Yeah, yeah, yeah, what's funny about it is that kind of stuff. Yeah, it's the detail. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It was the legal paper that was torn improperly

because you can, you can put yourself in that situation where you've had to tear off legal paper and you know, right when you're about to tear it off, that there's a zero percent chance that legal paper is coming off correctly. Yeah. Let me get it. Let me get the piece of paper so everybody can see it on the livestream. Here it is right here. I know you want to keep this clean today so I'm gonna try to talk while

I'm opening it up so you don't have to edit out big chunks of bullshit. Thank you. Yeah, but here it is. Here you can see it. You can see that this was a... This was the this was the tear off. And this is, I mean, first of all, or like he scratched to make sure the pin was working. And then he thought that was, you know. He was doodling dicks. Yeah, he was on the phone with me, ostensibly. Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no and he's like, ah, fuck it. You know what, I should do one of these, I should take a Lebowski, Jackie Treyhorn.

Yeah, Jackie Treyhorn pencil, pencil shave of this and see if I could find, I should put some like, some real, you know, on classical paintings, like Blue Boy, my Rembrandt, I think it is. They'll X-ray those paintings and they will find underneath some other paintings where he changed his mind. And he's like, this looks like dog shit and he'll write like fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck with a paintbrush and go like whatever, I'll just paint over it. There's no way someone will invent an X-ray machine that we'll see how I fuck this up 300 years later. That's what's funny. It's

funny about this is that he ripped it. So like this is a, I'm looking at the letter right now, the yellow, big yellow piece of legal paper. And it's ripped on the right hand side. But Maddox himself is right handed. So when you think about this is, that means he ripped it either this or either from the left to the right which feels bizarre. Yeah, you know, that is an inherently wrong way to rip legal paper because as you I'm trying to describe I'm just writing to write a get back together letter on legal paper Yeah, and then try to get her fired a couple years later. Well again when you love and you think about when you want to

Worked a smile. That's on her. Yeah, that's on her. I mean, he wrote it. He wrote it. That's plenty of that's it. Sean, fuck the fans. If you're ripping off legal paper, you want to start on the right, you want to start on your right. If you're right handed and ripped down because you can control the tension as you go down. But this person started on the left and ripped upwards in a way that was guaranteed to rip this paper. Guaranteed. He probably reached across like the desk or something and did it. That's the funny, that's what's funny. There's a few things in there that if people if people know what to look for Like wow, that is that is very very strange. Oh, okay. I got a poly oh so coach sends me an invoice. Oh, yeah, yeah

Right coaches and asshole. That's right. Well, that's what we're back to six sixty one dollars for beers at McGee's yeah at the night before party right $20 for a, a tie rental. Cause he forgot his tie for his his acidic blues brother costume. Yeah. And he, and he negotiated with the drummer in the drummer band for his tie. And the tie, yeah, and the tie had sentimental value to the drummer. So he starts out, he's such a shitty, look, that obvious lie, right? Oh, this, this, this moron needs a tie. I got the only black tie in the building. Ties got sentimental value to me, man.

You know what I'm saying? Da, da, da, da. He's got his own drum sets. He's a master negotiator. Sure. Well, if you walk into a negotiation with your own drum set and you can give yourself, like, while the other guy's thinking,

really fuck with him, give yourself a rim shot. Like, hey, nice offer, take me out to dinner first, but I'm dumb to you, there's like, oh shit. This guy means business, he's got his own rim shot. So coach drops 20 bucks on that. Well, yeah, but he's running across town to find him a tie at like an emergency tie store in Chicago because he's at all weekend to do this but he spent all weekend drinking and having fun. Yeah.

Final item on his invoice. Box of beer for greenroom. 20 bucks. It'll to me. He was on, he was on, he was on Pleasure Island from Pinocchio. Yeah, and he turned into an ass. Yeah, that's what happens. Yeah, that's. That motherfucker. He said, I don't know if you were planning on paying this,

but here you go. Let me know if there's a problem with that. And I was like, okay, I don't know if you were planning on paying this. You know, I'll deal with things. All right, let me see here. I get to apologize for the live stream of course. That was a big disaster.

I'll probably talk about that later. Yeah. Post about it. I'm sorry. I'm pissed about the audio. You're still pissed about the audio? Yeah. Because it's so stupid, like what he did.

There was no reason to do what he did. Yeah. I went to Furfest. That was a trip, man. Yeah. It wasn't a trip until I realized that all the guys in fur suits running around were dudes inside their fur suits and that they were all walking like with their hands out

like how dogs would walk if they could walk on two legs and they're just dangling their little hands in front of them. But I don't think they care though. Like I think that they don't care if you make fun of them and that's why people like I was thinking about it afterwards. Like why is it so fascinating to everybody? Because they's so, most people would never be that out there.

I can't even, I'm afraid to admit, I like primus, because I'll get made fun of. But these guys are fine with saying, yeah, I'm a rainbow horse. I like to get fucked up the ass by an otters only. There's something, yeah, there's, like yeah, where you're just like, man, like if you own it in life to that level, you have to be impressed to some extent.

Oh, yeah. I was just going to say, and the internet makes it possible, like they're all spread out. So before the internet, these guys were going around just like, I don't, I guess being like in the 50s, just being Mr. Ed in their head and having to keep it a secret. Because without the internet, how the fuck do you find somebody who wants to be your will, the will bird of your Mr. Ed, you know? You just got to be, you just got to be the fox on your own. Yeah.

You got to be in a wolf pack of one. Yeah. But now that the internet's, they're like, like, hey, there's this weird thing where everybody likes to be pretend to be an animal. Yeah. I always, that was cool about it. But then the furry dance started. I'm very, the guy will dance a little weird.

Dance a little furry. Yeah, the dance of the furries. So there's a lot of butts sniffing going on. No, not as much as I would have wanted. Really? Yeah. The cab driver, the Uber driver. And, not as much as I would have wanted. Really? Yeah. The uber driver. In your a horse.

In your a horse. Yeah. And you break your leg. Do you have to kill yourself? Yeah. I don't know. And you turned into glue. Yeah.

They're making a lot of glue. Dog food. Me and Peach were going home and the cab driver. The uber driver spent the entire ride home making fun of me. Right away from uberfest making fun of me. Saying that I liked all the attention from the furries. Oh, yeah, I fucking it jerk. Huh? Yeah, I gave him one star. Fuck. I go fucking tell me I like attention from exactly.

Tell me I like to be the bell of the furry ball. Yeah, buddy. How many people were there? A lot of thousands thousands Probably a hundred thousand. Harries. No, I was kind of, not even close to that. Let me see here. Do you want to hear more about road rage? Well, I mean, we settled the jerk off debate. 100% settled. A bullshit.

Sean. It's because of the, it's because of the mouse. I'm with you on that. Like, there's no way. Literally. There's no of the mouse, I'm with you on that. Like, there's no way. Literally. There's no way that people, if they're not using a computer, don't use their dominant hand.

Yeah, but you should always be using your computer to dig off. That's what it's for. I mean, this, what do you screw things in with a nickel? Well, this is true. And that's probably an age thing too, because I didn't grow up with computers. Oh, okay, it was just you and your dick.

Well, or, you know, there was something like called printed material. Oh, yeah. They had that. Yeah. Um, sounded like we solved it. Yeah. No, I will never, I will never concede. Coach told me before going that he needed his own private room

and that Diego was playing along with it. And I was like kind of testfully losing my fucking mind, like telling Diego, you know what, fuck coach? If he wants his own room and Diego's like, well, just give him a call. I'm like, no, I'm not gonna, like I was being a real asshole about it. You actually bought it, right?

I bought it 100%. Because then he does shit, like invoice me for $60 of beers that he drank at a bar. So you know he asked why? Because it's 100% believable. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And now I'm gonna get a text that that was a joke too. And I look like a real asshole.

Hmm. I met a guy from Stockholm. Let's see here. I got a coin from an NSA guy, a guy in the NSA. Wow. Real secret of about it. Oh. He slipped it to me.

And then he, uh, what is it? It's just a coin. Military guys like, they really like their coins. It really gets their Dixhard. Is that right? Yeah, they all print out custom coins. Huh. And they keep them, they're like, it's like their spoons.

They keep custom, yeah, my uncle's in the, he was a Navy man. He was a seaman. He's a defense contractor That's true He he gave me a coin for a submarine that he he had named after his state So they it's they're like commemorative Commemorative coins. Yeah, so you have no value right just sentimental value. I see so they gave me one It was bad ass is like their mecca the Franklin mint

Yeah, yeah, they don't pray to that. Yeah, I see. So that gave me one. It was bad ass. It's like their mecca, the Franklin Mint. Yeah. Yeah. They don't pray to that. Yeah. I see here. Um, guy from Stockholm came out. Dude, you know what? Really blew my mind is, um, fuck, I'm blanking. I've been remembering his name all day. Uh, cam, cam that dude, 17 years old. He was in a wheelchair, like a motorized wheelchair. Like one of those Stephen Hawking mother fushers. I'm glad you know his name. Yeah, I think it was, I hope it was Cam. It was not, you know. They came down from Detroit. Oh yeah?

Yeah, well, can I briefly tell the story? Go ahead. I guess, you know, I saw them there, you saw them there. And we came back to the green room. And what they wanted us to go back and stay there because they wanted everybody out in the lobby so they could clean the theater, right? Yeah.

Otherwise, we're standing around, they don't get to do that. And you came in and you said, hey, the kid in the wheelchair wants you to sign the book, they, I think he had a minute or a better than women book, right? Yeah. So, I'm like, oh, shit, I'm like, well, where is he? You're like, I think they're going out in the lobby

or they're leaving or something like that. So I'm like, no. So the theater manager came up right after the show and said, hey, this kid wants to talk to you for a minute. Cam's got over here and I was like, oh, fuck, because I was looking at him, I was looking at this dude like every once in a while. I usually pick a couple guys in the audience to always look at, because I was looking at him. I was looking at this dude, like every once in a while. I usually pick a couple guys in the audience to always look at

because I can see their faces. Yeah, yeah. And I know if the show, if things are working well or not because they'll be laughing, you know, I use them. That's like my, he was, he was rolling. Yeah, he was, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, that's actually, it's not even a joke. That's not a fucking joke.

Oh, goddammit. Goddammit. That's not, that is not even a joke. It's not a fucking joke. God damn it. God damn it. That is not what I meant. Wow. Oh man. Yeah. You can just let that fucking marinate a little bit. That was a, I'm the victim in this joke.

Oh wow. Yeah. Oh, it was. He was, now he's looking at that picture of you going, oh, you betrayed me. You had some mother fucker. He's looking at that. He's like, Sean, you have everything. You fucking mock me.

I thought they, I'll get you for this. You son of a bitch. You know, I can't, I can't get a run by your ass ever. Oh no. Now see, that's, now you know what you're, you know what you did. What that, that was an accident too, Sean.

We're the same. We're the same you and I. Oh, yeah, exactly. So, so I saw I'm laughing when a stereos came out and I hope, I hope he corrects me if I'm wrong, but when a stereos came out, he was fucking dying because that crocodile dundude Astereos came out with painted on shorts shorts shorts and a vest that didn't even cover his nipples

letting in Negisterios came out of him because the stereos couldn't show up there because of lawyers I assume I don't know anything crocodile dundude shows up and is the biggest and is a normal Australian by which I mean an enormous prick to everyone wearing a lone Ranger mask too, by the way. That just capped it off. It's your mask. Yeah.

When he came out, camp starts fucking dying. Because everyone started dying. Like a stereosis just just he's just a reddit comes alive. Yeah. In the when the presence of a live audience. For sure. He's a performer. He's a performer. No doubt about it. Beautiful to watch. But I saw I saw Cam after the show. I was like, Oh, yeah. Cool. Yeah. Definitely. I want to talk to you, man. And I thought I had this weird sense of like, this is like something that I see at like a music show. Like this is something that I see.

Yeah, you know? Like, and I think, I like, I can't really remember how the conversation went and I felt bad about it today because it's like, oh, I mean, I think you were kind of like an asshole and you were in a rut, like, I don't know if you said enough of the right things because I don't know what to say. Like I'm like, fuck, dude, thanks for, I think the same thing.

I know thanks for coming, but like, I don't, I really, I'm used to seeing this happen. Right. I'm not used to it. And now it's happening here. That was when my mind exploded. Yep. And I was like, we gotta, you gotta find Sean. Yeah. We gotta play a game of find the Sean here.

Yeah. Cause he's our define. Well, don't worry, I'll find his ass. I will find his ass. I was, you know, we're back over here. Back in the green room, but they were nowhere in sight when I got out there. And we're not supposed to, people weren't even out of the theater yet.

But so I'm looking, I'm going, I run everybody, hey, hey, hey, I'm in a picture, I'll be back, I'll be back. And it was like the, you know, probably the one time I could not have a conversation or walk away from a conversation. I went down on the street, I looked for them like, ah, fuck, they're gone, man.

And then yeah, I'm like, do you seen, you know, have you seen the kid in the motorized wheelchair? And there's like, no, like, I mean, I saw him at the show, but when I was not having Sean was like, I was like, oh, fuck. Cause he wants to talk to me. No, I would feel terrible if he, you came in and said,

actually went, that's not how it went at all. So he, then luckily when we went to the bar, they were on the sidewalk. They were on the sidewalk. Yeah, they were coming. Yeah, I was like, oh man, I'm looking for you. So I'm glad that I ran into them. The, that was, that was easily the highlight of the night.

Yeah, and I've been thinking about it since getting a little emotional about it. Now, I wasn't crying, like Max was crying, but like serious, I said, Max was crying on the last episode of The Bigs Problem. But I know what you mean. It's like, what do you know? What blew me away a few times was how,

it's just seemed like some people were, they were so appreciative that we did this. And it was like really like thank you so much for doing this. And I'm like, no, thank you for coming. It's fucking great. It's fucking great. The fact that you could come from out of state

or even sometimes people from Alberta, Canada were there. And like the fact that you're paying for us to do this kind of stuff. This is fucking great. Let me see here. I do have something that makes me rage, but I really just want to talk about the goddamn show. Somebody gave me the most foul concoction known to man.

What is it? Known as Melorz. Melorz. Some Jack, some fucking Jackass gave me this during, at the after party of the show. What is it? It's a liquor allegedly, but it just makes your nose hairs curl back up

into your brain like a porcupine spine. Oh, interesting. All right, Lacey's here. Lacey, come on in. Hi, guys. Hey, hey, we're talking about the road rage Chicago show. It was much more civilized than LA. Yeah, much more civilized.

Much more. Much more. Your friends would have made it like 25 minutes. She lives in Chicago too Oh really? Oh really? Yeah, does she look like this? Brezer that I'm holding up right here No, not even close don't care then. No Don't look this is the minimum your cups must be this delicious to enter road rage Chicago I believe I'm rage Chicago or not. We, or not.

Either this delicious or, or, or below, or take either one. I do have something that makes me rage though. Yeah. Before we get to more show stuff, Mad Cux is going to call in, Lacey is going to read some news. Sean, it's Christmas lights. Oh, okay. Christmas fucking lights, man.

Every, I feel the chills up the back of my spine as soon as Thanksgiving is done. As soon as, sometimes I don't want to finish eating Thanksgiving dinner because I know the second I do, all women are going to turn their heads like owls and look at me and their eyes are going to glow red and they're going to start hissing, hey, Christmas decorations. And start advancing upon me, like the children of the corn, with tits, and who are illegal. I stress that enough.

And they want to hang up the Christmas lights, the dumbest, the crappiest decoration, it's where we hang all over America, we hang made in China garbage, sparkling, glowing, tributes to China, tributes to China and credit and cheapness that look like everyone in, instead of Christmas slides, we should all put paper lunch sacks of, of, of a hundred dollars in cash out on the front yard and just burn it. December one. Instead of doing all the Christmas decorations and the bullshit every year, we just have a big old burn the money day where we set it out in the front looks better looks more interesting to me. There's only one night to do it then.

You can't be bothered for weeks. Let's go drive around and look at Christmas lights. Why? Let's just look at YouTube videos of guys who have synced up Christmas lights to like, uh, why won't you try and work this trip? Translator and orchestra, bitch. And get naked and get drunk. That sounds like Christmas.

No, let's try it around the neighborhood. You know what, forget driving. Let's walk around the neighborhood. Oh, fuck, because I can't walk to a bar, right? Because no matter how far I can't ruin it enough to get you to agree to then pull an audible and change this to a bar run, right? They have Christmas lights in the bar.

We could just sit there, the lights get more beautiful as you get drunk. No. All that neon, neon. I wish it was, it's all the same goddamn thing and they get worse every year. It's no longer, no longer is it those big, fat Christmas lights. I like those. I like those two, those the real strong colors. Oh.

The paint is thick. Thick and the lights were bright and the lights were bright. Yeah. In our days and they shut down electricity. Yeah, what are they now? Like a Gremlin. Now they're little, and then they were, then they were those shitty, chinchy LEDs,

one that came with the replacement LEDs that no one ever used. Oh no, that's bullshit. That was a serial killer test. So did you ever come? One guy in the Midwest would have piles of all the extra Christmas lights and the FBI would come,

they were full of trace amounts of radiation. And the FBI would go around in a van with a gun searching for this radio that collected enough in one guy's house who collected all the extra Christmas lights. And they would just kill him. The CIA did it, excuse me. The guy who gave me the coin at road rage told me that they did that. Yeah.

What's it? Then they said, oh, wait a minute, this doesn't look shitty enough. These little tiny, janky pinhole lights, like a chile, like a child. The lights that are so small, you can still see a fucking cord hanging off your house. They're all jingly, jingly going along, like a zigzag, like a child trying to outline something, like a five year old, trying to outline a drawing, trying to try to try to trace something. You know what I'm talking about? Jagged and shitty. Yeah, you get stil, they said,

we got, I got to fix for that. It's gonna be icicle lights. Instead of, instead of trying to straighten them out, we're gonna embrace the jingly jingliness. We're just gonna cram them all together. So you don't know where to staple them into the roof. So you're totally fucked. So you have to be on the ladder after Thanksgiving

with no one helping you try a hook, hook these, hook these icicle lights, haphazardly and hooks and rusty hooks that have been there for 10 years. This will fix it. They still look like trash because everybody has them. still look like trash because everybody has them. The only people that are tricking are women. NSFW, Christmas lights are NSFW, Sean. They were great, they were perfect, they were big, bulbous hemorrhoids that hung out of your house like in primary colors, but that was NSFW,

not safe for women. They changed them to shitty energy efficient, lightweight pinholes directly from China. What? They really did. They really fucked them up. They, my man, when I was a kid, we had one strand of lights that got so hot they bubbled. No one now will have the pleasure

for the experience of plugging in those big old Christmas lights. You know, you untangle them. You make sure they're all working on the ground. Yeah, you have to plan. Yeah. And going through the cord and grabbing a staple that someone had stapled through the middle of that cord and electrocuting yourself. And I take it in a second.

If you haven't done that, you're probably young. I take those bubblers in a second. In a second, I would take a bubbler. String them around the tree. There was a danger of the tree catching on fire because those motherfuckers would get so hot. They would start sizzling and bubbling, like little miniature grills.

They would sizzle that oil and they had little candles sticking out of them. I said, it's fucking, that was my favorite. That was the only part of decorating the tree that I enjoyed. I hated every single other part of it, except hooking up those mini broilers on the tree. God, that was fucking great, but they won broke.

And they can't be replaced because they're NSFW. Of course, women didn't like them. So we ship those out to sea. We throw them in the ocean. After the icicle lights, they got it. They invented new pieces of shit. They invented laser. Keeping up on this. Yeah.

So I'm going to say next, Lacey. Possibly. I think I have. Well, what is your not? That's a projector. It's a fucking projector. Yeah. The fucking laser beam lights, Sean. They're not even Christmas. You know what you're, you know what house, the houses look look now like there's 10,000 obnoxious assholes shooting laser beams at your house

and they go around in the most dumbest, robotic, criss-cross, spyrograph. My parents' entire neighborhood, their house looks like a plaid that somebody just quit halfway through. Red and green, stripes going one way, all shooting out of these shitbox projectors that they all bought at CVS. They look like garbage. They look like garbage. Let's go around and look at all the lights. I hope that we're driving a time traveling delorean because all these lights look like hell.

Yep. They would only be entertaining to a cat or a moron. Yeah. So either put on cat ears and a tail, which I saw at first and now I have a fetish for. Oh, well. Or I went to a furry festival, AC. Have you ever been to one of those? No.

It was the last place you'd ever catch me. Why? But you go to a cat cafe. Totally. You went to a cat cafe and you ate plates of disgusting cat meat and cat coffee, but you wouldn't go to a floreka. Those are the cleanest gaze on the planet.

Are you kidding me? It's 80% gay. Really? Wait, let me get bonitis. Yeah, it's a big enough gay community for some reason. Bonitis, are you there? Oh. Yeah, hey, what's up, buddy? This get bonitis. Yeah, it's not that fact. It's pretty good. The gay community for some reason. Bonitis, are you there? Oh.

Yeah, hey, what's up, buddy? This is bonitis. He's the guy that drew me as a furry persona. Oh, okay. Say hi to Lacey. Hi, Bonitis. Hi, Lacey. You, you, you guys are the cleanest mother fuckers on Earth.

They've got kangaroo suits. I walked into a furry room where they had dueling, giant kangaroo suits. I walked into a furry room where they had dueling giant kangaroo fur suits hanging up and they were grooming them. Like with real grooming thing. Yeah. Clean is a whistle. You could eat off of those fur suits. Well, I remember you said the furry tent at Burning Man. You said they were so organized. They had their they were partying like on a level that nobody else was because they were so organized. I met their, they were partying like on a level that nobody else was because they were so organized.

I met those guys at the furry convention. Yeah, they're. Yeah, I was trying to, apparently it's taken very seriously. I was trying to show off with Adam from your movie Sucks because he, he wanted to, he wanted to grab a drink with me and grab a beer. As long as I promise not to talk about it on the show, you know, I'm just kidding about that. Where you, is that you like virtue signaling?

Like, go out with a furry. No. Yeah, I'm not being like, don't you? I'm not virtue, shut up Sean. I was trying to show off because he was on the prices right with Maddox and I was an asshole about it.

Oh, because people take the middle ground and I fucking hate the middle ground. We're in a world that encourages lying because people will always take the middle ground no matter what. Yeah. Like you're like, I divorced my wife because we just couldn't work it out. And she's like, well, he's a Satan worshiper and he ate a bunch of kids and people like, well, it's probably somewhere in the middle. Probably just eight one or two kids. Yeah. Do you like the case with Maddox is very much a case where there really is no middle ground left to be ad, right?

No, I think that's all, no. That's all been kind of taken away. That was my point. So with the lawsuit, he's like, well, you know, some of those illegal things, I was like, motherfucker, none of those things are illegal. None of them are, first of all,

I didn't do any of them. And none of them are fucking illegal. It's not that, it's not a 50 page lawsuit and that some of it's illegal. Not if it's fucking illegal. Don't you, don't you fucking start. So we buried our, we buried our bone at the very convention.

Yeah. Cause he's a hell of a knife. He's a nice guy. He's a nice guy and he, he talked to me and we went out. It was fun. He's a nice guy. Yeah, he was cool.

He was cool and I told him to show off. I was like, yeah, you know, I went to the, Bernie man, furry camp a couple of times. No big deal. You probably haven't been there. No big deal though. Well, he's like, oh, I know those guys. You want to meet him?

And I was like, oh, shit. Yeah, the guys that were with us or what? Those those other guys that were with us. The burning anferies. Yeah. When you, when I remember hearing that episode being and noticing that you like kind of consistently mentioned furries on the show Which is why I did the first one in the first place. I was like well

He seems to have like a passing interest or curiosity about the whole thing. So yeah, I think it's cool By the way, Bonite City is gonna dry 80s girl as a furry. Oh wow cool. Yeah, Bonite I'm trying to keep a mental image of her in my head, because I wasn't allowed to take a photo for a piece of work. You better watch it with that mental image you got in your head. I'm gonna fucking I'll suit your ass for that. You're less of a useless little non-dominant hand. You got to give her a big fuck. I'm just trying to remember things like hair color and eye color so I can make it look like her. Okay, but that would that would influence the type of animal you would draw. I'm supposed to yeah,

it's supposed to look like you. Yeah, you go with right you go with the facial features and things like that are the bone structure, right? I would I would assume. I have ideas for all of you guys and I've chosen them all based on mostly aesthetics. Yeah, so yeah, okay. I was gonna go more but I had a lot going on this month. What are you gonna do for What are you gonna do for Lacey? You've already used up Hyena. What? I didn't think about Lacey at actually. Why, this is such a bad old show. They laughed.

Lacey is made for the other end of his life. Lacey, okay. Yeah, I thought you're, now you're on the other end of his thing. You don't know what's up now. It's Hyena. All right, what's up on not his story? Well, who's a Hyena?

Me. Oh, he, that, no, that was a hyena. Yeah. Oh, I got a chain. I'm trying to, well, yeah, that's, yeah. Because they're, because they're assholes. So I met, so I went up in the hotel room with the, I went up in the hotel room

with the Burning Man furry guys. And at first they were like, you know, I'll stand, they were like, okay, yeah, whatever. You know, we're the Burning Man furry guys. Right. What do you, what do you want? Who are you? I was like, oh yeah, I've stand, they were like, okay, yeah, whatever. You know, we're the burning made for you guys. What do you want? Who are you? I was like, oh yeah, you guys know that big fucking clock. I got on my fake cigarette.

You guys know that big fucking clock at Burning Man? The clock, brothers, big 20 foot LED clock. I was like, yeah, that's my fucking clock, dude. Me and my man made that, mostly my man, but I was also there in spirit emailing with him. Yeah. And they said, yeah, we turned that into, we turned, we made that thing say, man, but I was also there in spirit emailing with him. Yeah. And they said, yeah, we turned that into, we made that thing say, if one night, they fucked was really looking.

Yeah, they did. They did. And I remember when that happened. Anyway, bonitis is the guy that made me as a first sonan, but all the furries to the, how many furries did you get to road rage Chicago, by the way? A few things about that. I got nine total. So, but there were guys that were

coming up to my table that knew it was happening, that were Dic show fans, and they would tell me, oh, we've got something different that we're going to do tonight. I'm like, mother fucker, what do you have that is better than this? Like sitting around with a bunch of people playing board games that have depression, like, no, get over here. You should have had a crocodile. So crocodile done, dude, could wrestle him. Just like a thug. I haven't seen a suit. I don't know if he's seen a crack.

Here's a great thing about Bonitis. His significant other was with him. And he was wearing a shirt that had Bonitis industries embroidered in it. And I was like, what's going on? What's going on there? And do you want to tell this story? Yeah, Ied in it. And I was like, what's going on? What's going on there? Do you want to tell this story? Yeah, I can tell it real fast.

Yeah, I didn't even realize he was wearing that. But I have a very supportive mother that my LLC is called Bonitis Industries. And she has an embroidering machine. And she just made a whole bunch of shirts and sent them to me. But some boneitis really don't know exactly what to do with them. What do you say sometimes wears one? He's a very porn artist.

He's got embroidered shirts that say bonitis in his shirt. From his mom. Yeah. This is very sweet mom. Yeah, obviously. Here's 40 bonitis industries shirts to help your business out. Yeah. Thank you, obviously. Here's 40 bonitis industries. Sure, it's to help your business out. Yeah. And thank you, mom.

The ultimate mom. If you want to make mom, I would love one. I was smart enough to, I was smoking a cigar on the way home and I managed to burn a hole in my new dick show hoodie. So I don't know, we could trade one. Oh, shit. Yeah, I'll send you another one of those two. All right, man.

Thanks for, thanks for coming. Thanks for everything. What makes you rage if you got one? Oh, I do. What makes me rage is people who brag about how little they sleep. Yeah. Yeah. You met people, you met, they seem to think it's a badge of honor. And usually they're the least productive people. And they're like, yeah, man, I only slept two hours this whole week. And it's like, well, yeah, you still got nothing done. I sleep eight hours and I'm getting a win. We're dumb and you're one of the fucker. Yeah, it's because they're so smart.

I've only slept a couple of seconds in my life. Yeah. Well, that's actually what I do now is when people say that kind of stuff, I just say, yeah, I never sleep. In fact, when people are around me, they wake up. I sleep so little. Yeah. You just have to completely shut them off. And then they around me, they wake up. I sleep so little. Yeah. You just have to

completely shut them off and then they're just they're left to gas. And then you say then you get right in your face and you go, see that, that's how stupid you sound. Yeah. Probably should start doing that. And then you stare at them until they walk away. All right. All right, man. Get out of here. I'm going to post some more of your some more of your stuff. Your banner was awesome. I saw it the whole time at the show. Bonitis had a giant banner. Oh, yeah.

They were up near the top. Yeah, yeah. Actually, thanks for coming. Go, what did you have something else? Just gonna, you know, you kinda covered it all. So, but thank you so much for having me on. It was really cool. If you ever need weird, furry artwork, I'm your man. What's your website?

Bonitis Industries. I have Perfinity.net slash bonitis. And then my Twitter handle is bonitis. So Twitter.com slash bonitis, if you want. I do have a Patreon, but yeah, we don't have to do that. All right. Good for you. It's honorable, man. All right. See you. Get out of here. Okay. What was I, but Christmas. Get out of here. Wait. Okay. What was I, but Christmas lights? Oh, yeah. The laser beams. It, it, it, there, there is no more such thing as Christmas lights. It's just a point. You could just, you could just drive around

wearing shitty glasses now. That could do that. That's next. It's gonna be, let's go look at Christmas, you're whatever is gonna say, let's go look at Christmas lights. And then you're both gonna put on dumb glasses and drive around and just look at empty houses. Yeah, right.

And it starts, it starts, oh look how good these look on that house. It starts right fucking now. It starts right fucking now. And I've never, I've never, and the bigger, and this was never, this wasn't a big issue for me in an apartment. But I can already feel it.

Now that I'm in a house, I can already feel the suggestion starting. Yeah. And I know I'm going to end up at the end of the year, Sean, with a, with a giant inflatable polar bear, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a a Santa, an inflatable Santa, fucking another inflatable Santa up the ass. And 20 laser beams shooting all over the house. They can't say no. Yeah.

Makes me rage. All right. Lacey, what do you got? I might interrupt it. I might interrupt it to do more of these. No worries. Rage stories. We've got there was an issue at road rage between Maxwell, the silver hammer and peach. Do you hear about that, Sean?

Yes. Yes, I heard about it. What did you hear about it? Um, I heard that he wanted to fight her. You heard that he wanted to fight her? Yeah. Oh, well, he got his ass kick punched in either way over it. Is that right?

Well, he got kicked out. Oh, he did. One guy got kicked out of Road rage Chicago and it was Maxwell the Silver Hammer. Right. Yeah. Yeah, he was, he's a song was beautiful though.

It was, it was one of the highlights of the show. Yeah. And he was booing like an asshole. Yeah, he was, yeah, he was, I think he was being an asshole if it was him. Yeah, I heard a lot of booze coming from that section. Yeah. A lot of shit talking. A lot of shit talking.

A lot of shit talking. It was not a shit walking though, is I hear it? Yeah, I've heard a couple versions. A lot of shit. Having on the shit walking, shit talking, the shit walking side of the scale, he wasn't doing nothing but shit walking. And, well, I don't know. Let go ahead, what do you got in there?

All right, all right. Have you heard about those massage parlour, at massage parlour chain massage envy? Have you ever been? No, let me tell you something about massages. Yeah, I was going to ask. I, what made me rage at the live show was that I can never get a girl to give me a shitty massage.

Why would you do that? I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I can never get a girl to give me a good massage. They don't. You guys give terrible massages. No, I don't think that's true. Let's see it. Do a do a hand motion of massage. And then the thumbs, the thumbs.

You look like Mr. Burns trying to show the song. Oh, Mr. Lazy. Show me that mother massage. That's a bad thing. It looks like you're trying to strangle a horse. What do you mean? My hands are tight.

They're strong pressing into the back. They look like talons. Yeah, because they're skinny and long with that. Let me see it. Let me see it. In the air, massage in the air. Okay. And then you twirl your thumbs down the air. Massage in the air. Okay. And then you twirl your thumbs down the spine.

You see? That looks like an awful massage, doesn't it? Chon. What? I thought you were getting your hands up there. It looks like she's grabbing tits. Doesn't that look like a bad massage? It looks like she's casting a spell.

I don't know. I'll get you, my pretty. What are you supposed to do? Get you all the way there? Look, look, look. This is how you give up. You know? That's exactly what I did. No, look. What are you supposed to do? Get you all the way here? Look, look, look, this is how you give up. You said that's exactly what I did. No, look.

Except my fingers are smaller. Look. See how both of my, see how I'm like needing bread? My thumbs are going in. My fingertips are applying pressure to stabilize the muscles in the air. You're like, you're like, I wasn't going like this. You're doing like a thriller video.

That's a terrible, has any, well, of course, a man's probably told you, oh yeah, honey. How long has the longest massage you've ever given a guy lasted? Like seven minutes before he's like, oh yeah, yeah. Oh yeah, sure, that's great. Yeah, just stop, stop right there.

That's enough. I've had to feel great. Take myself out of the massage because it was just too much for my hands. After what, 30 seconds, 40 seconds. They're not fun to give. You should feel good giving another thing relief. It's not even pleasure. It's just relief from pain.

It should make you feel good. That's the point of it. That was my point at the show. So on the playwright home, Aity's girl decided to dig into my back poorly at first. While I was making fun of her across the aisle to Sean and coach in Diego anyway, it worked. What about massages? What's in the massage news today? Women around the country have decided not to give massages anymore because it's, because they've trumped. Basically, according to a Buzzfeed report, more than 180 people around the nation have filed lawsuits, police reports,

and other complaints against massage envy for claims of sexual harassment and unwanted touching. Wait, what? The women are unwanted touching? The clients, men, women, probably both. So who's getting sued? The women are unwanted touching? The clients. Men, women, probably both. So who's getting sued? The massage parlor?

The massage parlor by 180 people. But they just released a statement, and this was kind of a funky statement, I thought. They're trying to downplay this. Massage invays called the incidents heartbreaking, and so they occurred over 15 years with them in among 125 million misogies given by the business.

They're just throwing numbers out because they're guilty. Right. That's a good, that's pretty good strategy. Do you think so? Yeah. If you're guilty, you're just like, hey, look, we've had a lot of, we've arrested a lot of people. We only shot a couple of them.

It was no big deal. It's no big deal. That'll work. See, the PR is not about crafting the perfect response. It's about crafting many plausible responses quickly. So you throw out the numbers first, then you throw out the identity games, then you throw out a bunch of money,

then you throw, right? Then you throw, yeah, everybody knows this. Basically. But Andy doesn't matter anyway. Everyone's just looking for the lowest price. They don't care. Did you watch? Did I say my favorite parts from Road Red yet?

I don't know. It was the cam. Cam. Yeah. Cam. It was a slash bolt. That kid from from Reddit who came down to do the rage off. Oh, uh, in the hat. Yeah. In the hat. Yeah. Let me see if he's here. Yeah. Oh, fuck. I don't think he's here. No. No, he is. Hold on. Let me try to. I'm sorry. Put a little read another news

thing. I'm gonna think him. Did you watch football this me try to, I'm sorry, put a little, read another news thing, I'm just thinking. Did you watch football this weekend? No. I don't watch football since they, since they turned anti-American. What about your, like, are you on the game? What's they called the fantasy league? Fantasy league, yeah.

What about the game? I don't care, I don't care anymore. You know, no more? If Trump doesn't like them, I don't like them. I see, that's it, that's all there is to it. I don't care anymore. You don't know where? If Trump doesn't like them, I don't like them. That's it. That's all there is to it. I'm USFL for life.

You missed the Dildos being grown on the field. Dildos got thrown off the field. Two Dildos got thrown on the field during the bills in the Patriots game and they can't find out who's doing it. Really? Two Sean, two Dildos. Not what. During the middle of a professional sports football game, two Dildos. No, what? During the middle of a professional sports football game, two dildos.

Not safe for women. Can you imagine how fun sports and TV would be if it couldn't be not safe for women? Yeah. NSFW. Lise, do you know that's entitled by next book? No. NSFW, Lacey, do you know that's the title of my next book? No. NSFW, not safe for women. Because the world has to be if the world was not NSFW.

Like why do you say NSFW when you send something at work, right? Why do you say it? I've never said it. Of course you haven't. I really have. Can you, what do you think that image is? If something's not safe for work, what is it usually? A dick pic, maybe.

Or like a naked picture. A naked picture, right? Because God forbid there's a naked picture at work. It's not a dick pic. But if it's a cast around. Oh, my goodness. We can rape an entire industry of their pension funds, but heaven forbid we see a penis.

No, I don't agree with it because I've worked in journalism. And so I've had to see a ton of pictures and be involved in so many conversations. So I don't, that's why I've never really, who do you think would have a problem with NSFW material to women? Excuse me. Who do you think would have a problem with NSFW material women? Right. So what if the world was, what if it didn't have to worry about

that? What if we didn't have to worry about dildos flying down during games and we could just say, yeah, that's awesome. Yeah, what if everyone was like, that's awesome. The refs wouldn't pick it up. Everyone was afraid to remove it from the field. So it's not, doesn't mean it's just women. Can't test those dildos because they're being brainwashed. Everyone is NSFW brainwashed. They don't, they don't have that in their heart. They know when they, if they saw a dildo when they weren't at work, they'd be like,

that's hilarious. They go home and say that's hilarious. If there was, if football was NSFW, there would be chicken wire around the field, like the bar at the blues brothers to stop all the dildos from raining down upon them. There would be dildos salesmen outside the venue so you could buy a bag of dildos, bring it into the game.

You could buy your team's dildo. Just right up in the stands. Hey, get your dildos here. Dildos here. Dildos here. If you like five bucks, now you want your dildo. I just right up in the stands. Hey, Dildo's here. Dildo's here. Dildo's here. If you like five bucks, not just Dildo. I want you to throw it. Ah, that's three bucks, sir.

Like, here you go. And the guy who hauls back, it's like fucking Randy Johnson up there will come in and grab your Dildo that you just bought and hook it as hard as he can. Start doing the behind the back. Yeah. All kinds of creative ways to throw on Dildo's at the patrons. And you'd go 10 bucks. Dildo's spent a lot of money. Dildo's gone. They're going to the top row of NASCAR events. Yeah. Back, yeah. All kinds of creative ways to throw on dildos at the patrons. And you'd go 10 bucks,

dildos, spend, dildo gun, get to the top row of NASCAR events. Yeah. And then they would start showing hard core pornography on every jumbo tron in the whole stadium. And it would be,

and it would be played on motorcycles, football. Yeah, it would be like NSFW. That's NSFW football. What happened with the Dildos? They just, I mean, they were thrown on the field. And the mystery continues. And the mystery continues. It happened last year too. Any cameras get like a tight shot on there? No. Damn, they would see the director and what colors are the Dildos? It looked like a lighter pink color.

You know what sucks about Dildos? What? It looks like a lighter pink color. You know what sucks about dildos? What? It's hard to find a funny one. Oftentimes, for no reason, clearly I've never dressed up for Halloween. The only reason I want a dildo is for funny reasons. Let's get that straight.

There's no other reason that I want to buy a dildo. Okay, why would I want a funny dildo? What exactly are you saying? As I say, every week on the show, I am not gay. Okay. Right. But they're not wiggly enough. Why do you want, that's not their purpose.

Humor. Right? They could, you can wiggly works. Yeah. Yeah, you get a little bit of leather going. You don't need a full mast That's a myth. That's a myth. You want yeah, there should be comedy Don't wiggly. That's hard. That's hard shaming. I'm sick of it. Hmm guys get in the bedroom and like I'm not completely hard. I wait we can't have sex. Yeah, cuz it's terrible. See that's shame You're shaming them. Oh my goodness.

That's the same thing as telling a woman she needs to lose weight. You don't need to reach full hardness to have sex properly. It's perfectly fine to be almost completely limp. It's not, it's ability has nothing to do with it. You know what? It's about love. It's about the love. Excuse me. That's hilarious,

but it's sort of an equivalent. Yeah. To what you know. It's like, oh no, no, it's like, no, like, oh, this is beautiful. This is beautiful. Everything's beautiful. It's like, no, the fuck it's not. Yeah, then this is a hard cock. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. There you go. Deal with that. There you go. Good luck. Good luck pushing that rope. Mm-hmm. Oh my god Yeah, I mean I can't lift you anyway my point is that dildos are not nearly as wiggly It's hard to find a wiggly dildo If you need an emergency dildo and you go to the dildo store, you're gonna get like You're gonna get like, you're gonna get like, like, ah, like a rock hard dildo.

First of all, vibrators write out because you know that, you know that things have been built to carry vibration, like a tuning fork, not funny at all, not funny at all. You needed to be nice and floppy, and not just squishy. Like if you're busting out a dildo in a comedy scene or on a podcast, you should have some weight. Bam. And he's just go, you know what I'm saying? Boing, boing, boing, boing, like one of those door stoppers, blah, blah, blah, blah,

blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah,

blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah,, You could just say as a man, I've used Dildos. That's it. You don't need to specify. I don't let Lacey trick you and you think you have to specify. No, no shame. Okay, what's your next story?

So NBC has received more complaints about Matt Lauer. Oh, yeah. Oh no, Matt Lauer. Have you? He's really on a tear. Is Will Farrell going to get arrested for writing the book Matt Lauer can suck it from a land of the lost?

Oh yeah, he did. Yeah. God, Matt Lauer. So listen. I can't wait till these guys get replaced by. There's a part of the story that I thought you might kind of like, it's sort of easy. It would make me hard.

A little bit. Okay, no at least. A little, a little hard. Okay, good enough. So last Wednesday, they let him go after allegations of sexual harassment in the workplace. They released a statement that said while it is the first complaint about his behavior in the over 20 years that he's been at NBC News, we're also presented with reason to believe that this may have not been an isolated incident.

And they're right. Two more allegations of surfaced. One former female employee told the New York Times at Matt Lauer, had summoned her to his office, locked the door and sexually assaulted her. Now, when this went down, he called her in to go over a story. When she sat down, he locked the door from behind her from a button underneath his desk. I love that. Yeah, but that's not, I read about that. That's not that

uncult. Like those. Yeah, just means off. All men have that button. Me and Sean have that. There's a that doors locked right now. If you try to get out right now, I have a button over here that will unlock it. Only through my Providence. Can you leave this dungeon? What do you mean it's not uncommon? They said a lot of high profile. Yeah, those things are always have them in there. Exactly. For rape purposes, right? For sure. I mean, why else would you need it? Sure.

Yeah, because all men who are in high positions in the entertainment, sure to see industry are fucking our predators. For what reason, what do you need to lock his door to say, like, I don't understand how that would be? Lacey, because all men in Hollywood are sexual predators. They are.

Every man who tells you that he's a feminist is lying to you to manipulate you to touch his weeners. Hands down. And it's going to be very wiggly. He's not going to be because he's a soy boy. Yes. He's chock full of estrogen. I can't stress this enough.

Say, do you remember, you know what thing called like premonactus? Remember that from Braveheart? No. Where the Lord would come bouncing in on noctis? Remember that from Braveheart? No. Where the Lord would come bouncing in on his horse. I've never watched Braveheart. Oh, that explains a lot. Yeah.

Have you ever watched the Patriot? That's a good movie. Lacy. Oh, God. What movies of Mel Gibson have you watched? Not many. Well, ha ha ha ha ha.

That makes a lot of sense. Now I see what's happened here. What? What has happened? Um, why would I in any way relate to Mel Gibson in any way, shape or form? Well, that's the problem. Well, you're both anti-Semite. Please, he was joking. He's getting. He's outrageous. Okay, they had this thing back in medieval times

where the Lord would come in and he could bang your wife on the night you got married. This is a real thing that I think happened, that I think that I learned from very hard. I think it's real. I have not looked it up and I wish I had now that I'm talking about it on the show. I know the court used to watch you.

The court would watch you bang. Yeah, to consummate the marriage. Quite honestly, I would prefer that if I was a king. Apparently, a lot of people were like, it's something you're supposed to do, but we'll give you some privacy. Well, because she's going have all kinds of like gross Stuff going on Like these are farmers getting me. I mean this wasn't a Gross stuff going on. They maybe had two baths in your life. I know no trimming going on

I'm talking. It was a world of disgusting things. Yeah people were Vile back then. They didn't know any different Well, but they still have this thing of sexual predation, I'm saying. You see what I'm saying? The men in power. So we have not moved that far from that. You know, and all of these and the guys with the most access to young, new-bile women who have not seen Braveheart, such as yourself, are in the entertainment industry. They are.

Because that's what entertainment is. Slapping up young, new-bile women who have not seen Braveheart on TV and then putting an ad for a car behind it. That's entertainment. So the guys who run that Are have that have the most access to that are all sexual predators To some degree that's not the rest of us. I agree. That's why that's why Democrats all think there's some That's why the feminists think there's some kind of a rape culture because they made it They're living in one every time you see an actress say there's a rape culture. She's right because she's fucking funding it.

I do agree with that. She's their fucking vanguard. It's pretty amazing. It's pretty amazing how many, how many, uh, You know far leftist. Yeah, there's a right culture. You're the one sending out the fucking collection plate bitch Why don't you call in sick for a week? See how far it can last. Maybe learn to negotiate. Anyway, that's why they have those buttons. Cause they're bad, because they're fucking bad. Trump doesn't have that button. Trump does not have that. That's a million buttons.

Trump does not give a fuck. Trump does not give a fuck. About a button. You know, you don't know why? You don't know why that, you know, no, you don't know why. You're not gonna lie about that. You don't know why, you don't know why. I'll tell you why. I'll tell you why I can guarantee you,

Trump is not a predator because he wants to fuck other men in the form of taking their money, taking their, if you waive, you could get all the mis- universes in a row and say like, hey, Mr. Trump, what do you think about this? That's pretty nice. And then it's one guy with $10. He's gonna go, I'm gonna fuck that guy out of his $10. I tell, 100%.

He would rather concentrate on a spicy tweet than even fuck his wife. Because he can't get his dick hard anymore. Lacey, we've established that's not necessary. That's an ableist. That is an ableist microaggression. He has lots of wiggly doughnuts. We don't, I haven't been hard in years

and I've fucked hundreds of times. Right. No, how's your hand? Which hand do you trick off with? Excuse me, which, which, which, I was thinking about this when I was listening. Yeah. Well, what were you doing when you were listening?

Just listening and driving. Oh, 10 and 2. 10 and 2. Oh. Okay. What handed are you? Writer left handed. Right.

What handed you used to garden? Right. So you're like Sean. Yeah. Like a normal human being. Too wrong. Don't make a right. Oh, Sean. But what did you say you said you're right?

You said you know what to do. It sounds like it feels like another guy. Because if I took off with my right hand, I got to put my whole fucking back into it. I feel like I'm doing an arm day. It's fucked. It's got no power back in my life. Maybe it's because I'm a musician.

So my left hand knows secrets, pleasure secrets from the far east. I'm a musician, so my left hand knows secrets, pleasure secrets from the far east. You know what I mean? Pleasure for the poor. Like a snake charmer. D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D Oh, he's... You know, it takes a lot to get out. It takes a lot to get anything out down there. It's like leather. Yeah.

All right. Is slash bolt here? Okay, let me talk to this guy. Hey, slash bolt, are you there? Hey, what's up, Dick? Is my mic okay? It's not shitty or anything. No, it's terrible.

I mean, you sound clear. It's cool. You sound clear. It's cool. You sound clear. So this was my, this was my, one of my favorite parts of the show, we did a, I mean, you could probably come in from your car before you knock off the jingle bells. Yeah, sorry, that's my dog.

Oh, he's still for 20 minutes while I was listening and now he decides to scratch his neck. Do you have, do you have the phone app? Are you on your computer right now? Yeah, I am. I have a shitty snowball microphone which I bought and then looked up and then I found out it was a piece of shit. I know.

I did the same thing too. Dude, Colin, use the app on your phone, the Discord app or Colin next week because I really want to talk to you. What? You can't understand him? Is it okay? Yeah, okay. Okay, okay, okay.

Slashbolt, slashbolt. So this was, I hear him fine. My favorite part of the show, we did a Facebook versus Reddit, Ray Joff contest. Lacey, you saw us do this in LA. And slashbolt comes down for Reddit, and he gets about, he gets, he gets one sentence

out. And then it's like an avalanche of booze. Yeah. Yeah. And you're sit, is that, is that accurate slash bolt? I want to say three words. I think it sends, it sends it to generous, but yeah, that's basically what happens. What were you going to say?

What was your rage going to be? Yeah. So my rage was going to be those fucking trains that come by every 10 minutes and force you to stop talking for 30 seconds. Yeah. Yeah. And John, it was topical. It was like a risky rage, I thought, because you know, for all the people who were there

and could relate, who were standing outside the Apollo theater waiting for the show to begin, there would be all the people who didn't come up. But I thought I thought it was a solid rage. It was. It would have been great. He comes out, it's tough crowd. And Gary member gets hammered, mercilessly hammered.

And then Nick, Nick Rikita goes. Yeah. So I go to do the thing, okay, cheer for who won, right? And I go, right after, right after, slash bolt goes, I take the mic away and he's just standing, he goes, well, I'm going to kill myself now. I know what I mean. Sash bolt. Oh, I'm gonna kill myself.

Sash bold. Like, just the most understated, like, well, just gonna kill myself. Nothing left to do, but walking in front of the L, or whatever. It would have been perfect, too, because everyone was outside for 20 minutes having to do it. And the first time you have to actually do it

and wait for the train to pass, it's so frustrating because when you start talking, you realize how stupid the next thing you're gonna say is. Like no matter what it is, no matter what it was, it's like, yeah, I mean, this is like kind of a thing that I thought, but it doesn't ever mind. I forget at the moment's past.

Yeah, I would have thought of something else, but you know, I just, I kind of think that like, fuck you guys. The monitoring. You guys did this to me. The monitoring was so shitty for us at the live show that I couldn't quite make out why he got a chorus of booze like that.

I remember I came up to you afterwards, and I was like, man, why did they hammer you like that? You're a good nature to about it, but. Yeah, I think it was partly my fault too, because I tried to build up what my rage was. Yeah, I should just when I said what my rage was from the get-go. Yes, well, you also put on a novelty hat.

Right, you know, I thought I'd win the crowd over with that, but now you need to believe in you. Yeah. Flashball, you would have nailed it if you just went with you and your idea, because that's fucking true. Because it was open for the taking in in hindsight. Nick walked a he walked a dangerous dangerous path with the

fucking everything makes me a rage. Yeah. And then like he he kind of brought it back, but that could have gone that could have gone. Yeah, I was. That's like, oh, okay, really? Like, okay, I see. Yeah, it was such a let down too, because I saw the rage button and I thought,

oh, they're going to do a lineup of the rages at LA, or like the, uh, not LA at the building. So I, I actually put a paper clip on my rage and stuck a $5 bill onto it. Like I got that. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I got that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I got that fight. If I would have seen it, I would have called it out. You're the only person who was supposed to get it. Like the whole time after I realized that you weren't doing the rage lineup, I was thinking who the fuck has my $5 bill?

I got it. I got your fight. So after that, I was like, oh, well, I'm sure there will still be a fun show. And then you called for a Reddit champion and I stood up and you picked me. And I was like, oh, cool. I get to go on stage after all. I get to talk about my rage. I get to kill it.

And then, yeah. No. Oh, man. The monitors killed you, honestly, because we couldn't hear each other all night either. I couldn't hear myself. That's why I'm horse today. I could barely hear coach, but- It was bullshit.

God, the mic down, well, I guess I'm just going to kill myself. When I went to call everybody for the cheer who you think won, slash bolt just leans over and goes, please don't do this to me. Yes, yeah. Yeah. Right. Mercy kill. Okay.

All right, fine, Nick one. I don't know why that was, I don't know why that was my favorite moment of the show. Also, I, you know, I, I didn't realize at the time that the guy was coming up was also like a lawyer. So I feel like I was kind of disadvantaged at that, but I guess we'll never know. No.

I guess we'll never know. I mean, he does speak a lot. I'll remember it forever though. So thank you. I'm glad. And you wanna say anything weird to Lacey while she's here? Oh my God, I said fucking Lacey, don't ever let anybody make fun of your laugh because it is so sexy and enduring.

So just keep doing you. Thank you, slash bolt. You're welcome. Nice. All right, classy. See you, buddy. There you go, made up for it. Thanks, Dick.

Yeah, see you. Thanks for coming. OK, what else do you got? What else do I got? Watch out for those creeps. They're everywhere. And the jeeps. Creeps in the jeeps.

And the meeps. Yeah. Isn't that space balls? Yeah, the bleeps. The creeps in the jeeps. Do you remember them? Something like that, yeah. I just wanted to bring through another defective product.

Okay. Costco, Walmart, and Target have ensued for shitty wipes. So do you use those wet wipes to clean your toilet? I, no, I've never cleaned anything in my house. And Swale does that. Does she? Yes. How does she clean your toilets? I don't know.

Mexican magic. Yeah, she has. You better watch out. Because if she's washing down the toilet, they're going to get clogged. Yeah. They're going to get clogged. Yeah, they're going to get clogged. The septic. Wait a minute.

Wait a minute. Is this the toilets that you wipe your ass with? No, the actually cleaning the bowl. Oh, yes. With wipes. Yes. So they say that they're flushable. You put them on the end of something.

I hope. Oh, right. Sure. Have you ever cleaned a toilet? Yeah, with a brush and the liquid stuff. Who are you, gay? Lysol. Not the flushable.

I feel like it's a lot cleaner though, so you can just flush that way. I didn't know that shit existed. Really? No. No. Oh, well. It's not something I do regularly.

Yeah. Once in a, once in a, you don't clean your toilet regularly? No, I just don't. I've got that bathroom I just don't. I just use the other bathroom. And then like if I, then I just, I go to another apartment or house when I run out of bathrooms. Yeah. And you got side. Yeah. No, we deal. Exactly. Going to back. It's a permanent camping trip. How often do you, yeah, never mind? How often? Weekly. Hmm. Once hmm once a week well that's a mistake So what there's a recall yeah, okay, they're not flushable. They clog toilets. Yeah, yeah, it's a lie

Hmm say that though, but they're supposed to be their advertising So yeah, yeah, specifically states who says they're not The anti yeah, they're reusable toilet. Yes, exactly. This is a waste. I'm afraid of the. Yeah, Matt. The power says it. He's just trying to distract women from his sexual abuse. Right. He hopes he can nail when they're bent over cleaning a toilet. You got any more news? No, that's it. Very good. I mean, go over some of these, I got a fuckload of voice mail too.

How are we on time? 90 minutes. Okay, Sean wants to end the episode early today. Everyone is there. Not early. I don't want to go two and a half hours. Because it's got to be up tomorrow. It does.

It has to be up. It's going to be a late one. Happy to do it. Here's some short-le real, just not super happy. Oh, it's Madcogs. Hey, what's up, buddy? What's up? Yeah, I can hear you.

Great job reading the letter at the live show. Yeah, I'm an excellent reader. I can recognize almost all the words. Yeah. You're a big fan of punctuation. That's a big fan of punctuation. I'm a big fan of punctuation. Yeah. What was your favorite part? My favorite part of the show. Yeah, it was probably like getting cheered as like, you know, the greatest rock star on the face the earth for doing essentially like

almost nothing now cheered in a way that the the other one has never been cheered. Yeah, I mean, I would guess. I gotta say like there's there's the you know I was staying in backstage just getting a little bit nervous and then somebody on stage asked for some snacks and I came running out there and everybody's slapping high fives. It was like going on the price is right except you know you can't call that one to it. You know instead of just sitting there making goopy faces. So that was kind of great. That's right. The real, the real Maddox is on the prices right.

So high-fiving like fat Midwestern housewives as they come up to win a free toaster. I have all the money on that show. Well, you can be on it. We can be on it. We can just go to the price. Daily, right? Do you want to do that twice a day? Twice. We could do that. I would love to do that price right. Right. Do you want to do that twice a day twice? We could do that

I would love to do that. Ladies girl and Jamie can do it. Maybe Sean. Maybe we'll bring Sean Probably not make an event out of this. Yeah, we can do that with our name tags. Uh-huh And we don't have to you want to do shirts? Show shirts. Yeah, let's do jit. Let's do dick show sure it's Drew has cancer Hey Drew, excuse me. That's telling you. Yeah. Hey Drew. Kill you K. Y. S. Drew K. Y. S. Drew it means that it was better Bob Barker was better. I've had a dream for years to go on the price is right and just acts it like pretend like I'm accidentally calling Drew Bob the whole time But now it's probably a little too late for that. We could bring Madcucks into totally.

Come down. It'd be great. You're invited. Hey, Madcucks, did you have any? Did you buy a single beer in Chicago that you did not invoice me for? Uh, or anything? I don't think I bought much of anything while I was in Chicago. But anything, even a single drink that you had that you didn't send me an invoice for.

Did that happen? No, no, there's no invoices coming for me for Chicago. So that would be kind of weird for like a single beer to send me an invoice for that. Yeah. Yeah, I got a free beer at the at the after show bar because it's it's a bar that it was a bar that was also my like it Still a pretty my school even though my school is hundreds of miles away, and I was like hey Should I I should get some free stuff and I'm like yeah, sure here you go have a free beer like awesome Yeah, that was it was really cool seeing you wizz around and everybody screaming and high five and

Sky yes This is great. I don't know very really cool seeing you whizz around and everybody scream and high-five it. This guy, I think, yes. This is great. I don't know. I'm very, it was a wonderful experience and I'm grateful everybody who was a part of it before this gets sappy. Mad Cuxwell, anything make you a rage? Yeah, you know what makes me a rage is de facto on airplanes. There's, you know, there's a huge difference between the exit row and any other row in the

whole airplane. And it's really punitive to tall people. And there's literally nothing you can fucking do about that. Like as a tall person, my flight experience is far different and far more uncomfortable and painful than any other, you know, than a person who's two or three inches shorter than me, like my fucking head's touching the ceiling of this airplane, even walking down the center aisle, my knees are jammed into this fucking thing in front of me.

And then the person in front of me is like, Oh, I got to recline that three quarters of an inch, because, you know, being straight up, this is resuperduper uncomfortable. But if I just go back that three quarters of an inch, that's so good. And I'm just like, oh, yeah, I'm so glad you could lean back in my fucking kneecaps every time. I can't be fucking bothered every time. Like why the fuck are in airplanes made from all different kinds of people? It's hide the hightest.

It's fucking hideest, man. And so they can get more rows of seats in. Every time a woman tells me about my male privilege, I want to go, have you ever, have you ever been afraid to ram your head on a chandelier or a doorway or have you ever driven a rental car for 10 hours with your knee jammed into a lever that isn't even connected to anything. If you're over, don't you ever fucking talk to me about two cents off of a two two percent pay gap or something. I live my life in constant crouching because of you because of you and your ilk and your if couches were not safe for women, They would all be 10 feet long.

Yeah, every couch would be a fucking trampoline, but they averaged them out for your comfort. Yeah, their average is a real way too low. Man, yeah. And so when I flew out and when I flew back, I managed to sneak into the exit row. And I was just like, what were the fuck have I been sitting all every other time that I've flown in my whole life? Yeah. I flew to France one time with my knees jammed in the seat in front of me the entire time.

Yeah. Yeah. There aren't. These planes were a little better, actually, for that, at least the ones that we were on, but... What'd you do in France? That was, you were there, too. Yeah. You were there, too.

Your knees were probably jammed in there, too. My knees were jammed a lot of things. Yeah, if you know what I mean. You know what I'm talking about. I didn't need any button, either. Matt Lauer, that's the offensive part. It's not that he did shit to women in his office. It's that he had to lock the door.

It's like, so what shit to women in his office. It's that he had to lock the door. It's like so what? Let him walk in. Which they're just gonna be so turned on they'll have to join in. Right? You're Matt Lauer, man. Don't be such a- don't be such a pussy. Embrace your celebrity. You're Matt- your Matt motherfucking Lauer. Leave the door open. Change the culture of NBC. Yo, everybody we're having a free sex, sex romp in my office just come throw in if you want. Not in that

order, right? If you don't like it, get back to work. No big deal. No big deal won't be held against you. This is a professional environment. No big deal. You want deal won't be held against you. This is a professional environment. No big deal. You wanna come in and talk sports? It's the same thing. No big deal. He actually liked it too after. He didn't even bring it up to her.

They'd never talked about it. Who's her? The woman. Oprah Winfrey. No. All right, Mad Cux. Thank you. Thanks for everything, man.

Thank you. Thanks for having, man. Thank you. Thanks for having me at Roadridge. Here's what I don't get. Madcuck's patreon.com, hw, IDG. Whoops, whoops, whoops. Let's see, I got some more people here. Do you want to hear about the peach altercation? Yeah.

I mean, kind of. Yeah, I mean, it was, I never, I didn't see anything. So did you? No, I said, let's, you know, let's watch the video. There's a video of it. Grant Mooney was there, by the way. I know, I mean, it was a karaoke night. Yeah, where Grant Mooney sang the parody version of his song, like the Asterios Patreon song.

He sang the, somebody sang the Titanic song. He was fucking great. He introduced him, so he's like, hey,'s Patreon song. He's saying that somebody's saying the Titanic song. He's fucking great. He introduced him, he's like, hey, I'm Grant. And I was like, oh, hey, Grant, nice to meet you. He's like, hey, that's great, Moody, by the way. I was like, ah, what? All right. That's great.

Let me find the video. Jesus, I wrote a lot of stuff down. Somebody said an usher left crying because there was a build that wall chant, build the wall chant for like hundred guys screaming build the wall for like three seconds. That's sad. What's sad? We don't have a wall and the country's defenseless against illegal immigration. It is very sad.

It's something sort of crying because the guy, it's sadeless and his illegal immigration, it is very sad. So we started crying. Because the guy, it's sad that they didn't have the intestinal fortitude to want to defend themselves. That is sad. Lacey, you're right. They probably haven't watched Braveheart or Patriot. Do you want to watch, do you want to watch either of those movies with me?

Yes, I do. You want to do a commentary track with me? Yeah. It'll change your life. Yes. Lots of men base their entire lives off the movies, Braveheart and Patriot. Why?

What's the significance? I can't explain it to you except in the form of that movie. That movie has condensed down those reasons into a movie that you can enjoy. And there's only way to go through the only way to learn about it is to go through the door to watch it. Yeah, is to take the journey with Mel Gibson. Twice. Twice?

Yeah. Or twice. Because it's Braveheart and the Patriot. Yeah. Are they sequels? Or is the Patriot? Yes. Oh, okay.

The Patriot is a sequel to Braveheart. First William Wallace dies to save Scotland. Sean? That's correct. Thank you. That's, I knew it was Scotland. And then he dies again. He gets reincarnated as a man who makes chairs in America. I'm not lying. And then he saves America. Yeah. Yeah. And why do people mold their lives after this?

And why do people mold their lives after this? I think I just explained why those are two monumentous things that happened across time that he did. You'll see. Yeah, I want you to know their sequels because he paints his face like the American flag in the Patriot. Okay. Oh, I get it. Patriot. Here we go. Paying up. Don't look at that picture. Okay. Oh, I get it. Patriot. Here we go.

Don't look at that. Okay. Here we go. Here we go. So this is right after the show, Justin Barys has captured peach talking to Maxwell, the Maxwell Kimball, the silver hammer, who I think showed up with an Israeli flag. That's where it's waving around. I think that's where that came from. Yeah, and he also, yeah, okay. There, here's him after the show, talking to Peach.

You can't hear it, can you, Sean? Here, let me, I gotta, I gotta hear it. I can hear it. I can hear a bit. I got an eye witness. Hey, Andrew, are you there? Hey, can you hear me? Yeah, I can hear you. So did you see what happened between Kimball and Peach? Yeah. Okay. What happened after the show, right after the show? Um, yeah.

I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. Bull and Peach. Yeah, okay. What what happened after the show right after the show? Yeah, like peach called a Maxwell down and Because like you kept yelling at her throughout the whole show like saying like kill yourself Are you just off right now? Where you do we catch you in the middle of a jerk off? No. My dad will catch me in the middle of a jerk off sometime.

I'll answer the phone and I knew I shouldn't have done it because I know he knows. I'll answer the phone like, hey dad what's going on? I'm like, fuck you sound like you're in the middle of jerking off! God damn it! No, I know. I'm... Okay. No, but uh... Anyway yeah, like, like she was like saying all these. He also said, like, totally eat a cinder block. Okay, well, that's disrespectful, but that's also a show reference. Yeah. Yeah. Isn't it? And yeah, so at the end, like, she was like telling him to come down and like say it to her face.

Yeah. And, uh, I, a few things were said, like, uh, Peach said something about how it looked like his balls ran away with his face. No, his chin was what I heard. His chin. His balls ran away with his chin. Yeah, I don't know what he looks like But somebody in face looks that he looks like a fat lesbian. That's not me thing man. I'm just repeating something I heard in Facebook. Yeah, she did say something about his chin to like at the end

And I think it was actually the video that uh, that's why she was like a Like touching his chin like he's Chin or something like that. Yeah. And then Maxwell said something like, you want to fight and I'm going to kick your ass. Wait, wait, wait, wait, why that's something like, what did he say? He was like, you want to fight, I'm going to kick your ass. No way! Okay, wait, wait, wait, wait. Kimbles on the line, hold on.

Really? Yeah, I got him on. Kimble, silver hammer. Hello? Hey, that did not happen. I did not say it like that, my boy. He sent you anti-stricken mother fucker. No, no.

He said, did you say you're gonna kick, did you threaten peach in any way? Did you say you're gonna kick did you threaten peach in any way? Did you say you're gonna kick her is joke? He wasn't. I said, I said, let's go fight outside. I never said I kick your ass. I said, what do you mean you said, let's go fight outside? She obviously wanted to go and I could tell because she's clear. She's a clear anti-Semite. We got a regular Evo Braun in our hands here. She was oh boy He's you're joking you're joking again. No, no, you just you're just fucking around now. I would never joke around. I'm always a hundred percent serious Yeah, so they're back. You wanted to take me home in her aster a it was really weird Did you just make a joke?

There's something about soap. I don't know. It was weird, man. That was a good joke. Why would you tell? First of all, why were you booing her all night? He wanted to boo the stereos, but he didn't. Yeah, he's right.

I just wanted someone to shit on. I felt bad for stereos, basically. Yeah, it was the lawsuit. So why does... Yeah, PME on Twitter saying I was an oven Dodger. So that's no good. Who did that? Well, Peach was just being a quite the anti-Semite.

And oven Dodger. Peach was not being an anti-Semite. No, she would never say stuff like that. What are you talking about? I don't know. That's what I heard. That's what I heard from the other dick shows. Oh, yeah.

You have to know that you can't say that shit to her, right? Well, can you guys just fight and then do a podcast together? Mm-hmm. Talk. If she's, I mean, I don't know. I've very done my fair share of podcasts. Unless it's gonna be against podcasts with pedoclake, I'll do it.

Yeah, so you did threaten her. Oh, I mean, that, it depends on you on you to find threat is saying you just send her block a threat. I don't really think so. Well, I'm sorry. No, not that. Did you say you're going to take her outside? Yeah, I was going to say let's go as an invitation, not a threat.

You weren't you didn't say you were going to kick her ass though. No, I never said that. Okay. Because I think she should have kicked you out for booing. You didn't say you were going to kick her ass though. No, I never said that. Okay. Because she should have kicked you out for booing. She should have stopped her song and kicked your ass out for booing. I don't know. I think I could have done a much better Hebrew song instead of that.

You should have. I invited your ass down if you don't remember, but you balked at the chance to come regala us with Havana Gila. I don't want any of those goddamn ushers to start crying at the face of some strong Zionist power. All right, well, can you apologize to Peach for me please? Right now, she's saying you're beautiful, so on. You fucked, you fucked around with your booing.

I'm trying to put on a show for three. I was trying to sing a song. I hear that, at least that much. Don't interrupt me. You're, I'm trying to put on a show for 300 people and and you Roll in with your flag trying to disrupt the mode my beautiful songbird You're during the middle of her hilarious and beautiful song This wonderful woman who graces us with her Jess

During this festival you you try to boo and fuck her up right before she sings. You owe everyone at the show an apology for that. You owe me an apology for that, and you owe her an apology for that. I got this. I apologize to everyone, apologize to Dick Peach, to the room, the show. it wasn't for the lawsuit, I would have just shit on a stereo.

Okay. Also, peach, you'll be hearing from my lawyer at the Southern Poverty Law Center for the same purpose. I understand. I'm not playing this time. I need more shuckles, boy. I'm fucking careful, you idiot. Wait a minute, where, Kimble, Kimble, did you also ask the adry, thank you for the, thank you for the eyewitness account. Kimball, did you also ask coach,

what do you thought about Israel and Palestine? Oh yeah, that was me too. Oh that was you too, fucking asshole. I was also the guy that showed up, please fuck my wife Sean. I heard that too. Okay. I don't wanna get zingers like I think.

Yeah, I was, you know, I looked over there. I did not see a woman. I figured that was that offer was not, you know, legit. What's the right answer to the Palestine question? But like Israel stole the country fair and square, didn't they? Yeah, exactly. So Palestine is not even a real country. That's the thing. Like it's not technically recognized by the United Nations. Oh, is that what makes a country real? Okay. Let me just say the entire fertile crescent. I don't know. You're recognized as a man by peach. So what are you? She's the United. Yeah. Okay. So what is it? What's the answer? Fire fertile crescent should belong to Israel. What's that?

You know the entire area like Mesopotamia and all the areas inside the Middle East, the Gaza Strip, Egypt, Syria, it should all be Israel. What is that? Out of America, outside of America? They got a lot of uranium in that. Crescent Valley or what? It just belongs, it's Hebrew land. It's the holy Land of Judaism,

and we should get our land back. But you stole a fair and square, right? Is that what? Served it, because our people were putting ovens. Okay. All right, Kim, look at that. Get the hell out of here. My oven now, if I guess.

Came out a little half-backed, I think. It wasn't just halves. It was probably three quarters. Okay, Kimble. Thank you for coming to the show. Thank you for the apology for the show. Don't boo peech like that. Apologize to her on Facebook. If they let me back in. Okay. Are you booted right now? Did you? Did you last through anything on the weekend? I mean, he couldn't get into the bar, right? Well, I didn't make the whole show. I mean, I was at the bar at the after show.

Okay, okay. But the night before, I was trying to give you my ID. Well, yeah. Yeah, I did get my Airbnb because like, you know the Kaelin Ward, the short bond, I did get my Airbnb because like, you know, the Kaelin Ward, the short bond, I was at her Airbnb with them and I had to go get the Airbnb. So fuck, I was fucked over by the Goddamn system. Everyone knows who Kaelin hard is.

My cats are fighting. All right. Take it easy, man. He just said my cats are fighting. Yeah. Yeah. It's probably, that's probably just a joke that I'm not aware of. Yeah.

My cats are actually fighting. So, well, thank you for the show so much. Thanks for making 18 plus for me that I'm not aware of. Yeah, the cats are actually fighting so well Thank you for the show so much. Thanks for making 18 plus for me because I'm a fucking 12 year old. Mm-hmm. Oh You're welcome. We know that Now he's he's young Okay, get out of here. Kimball Ask the cats to step outside. I said guess step outside I was gonna read all these, but that's it. We're done.

We're done, right? It's gone on too long. You want to, we're about a hundred and a half minutes. I want to do some voice. Yeah. Okay. That's two voice. Okay, everybody, thank you for coming to the show.

Thank you for coming to Road rage if you did come. If you missed it, you fucked up. That's all there is to it. It was the best. I think I was telling everybody the night before. I said, this is going to be the best one. I know it because it's until the next one until the next everyone is going to it was the first one that really ran to me like a show because the.

Yeah, it was all. Yeah, it was incredible. You know what? Well, you said afterwards, Diego is going to get hooked up with like a Christina Aguilera. Oh, no, he's going to. Yeah, he's going to go like a pee we herman and he's just going to blow up. We'll never hear from him again. He's gonna go far He's gonna go further than Randy ever did Randy came to Hollywood and just basically did nothing hooked up with Maddox ruined his whole career

I got involved in the gas and Randy's good Randy took took credit for Steve Randy took the blame for stealing a feed that he didn't steal That was the end of his career. Oh boy joking that he didn't steal. Now is the end of his career. No, boy. It's joking. We're gonna watch Braveheart play C. All right, thank you for coming. I don't know where we're doing the next one. I think Portland. Portland was maybe, see.

Oh my God. I thought that was kind of, oh my God, what? A done deal. I'd love to go to Portland. You wanna go to Portland? Yes, I would. Yeah, that's all I could. You would go? Portland? Yes, I would go if you go to Portland. You would go?

Oh my god, yeah. Okay, we'll do that. All right, good. We'll do that then. Wait, what? Was that a voice? That sounded like Madcox. Oh god, there's an Asterios Aid album.

Man, Asterios was in and out at the show. Yeah, he was. That poor fucking guy, I didn't see him all weekend. Yeah. You know Asterios, right, Lacey? Yes. Um, he's a, he's a fragile man. He's not.

No, he's a fighter. He's a fighter, but he's, he's, he's, he's being pulled in many directions. Yeah. Not if, not fragile, but stretched, stretched, brittle, stretched and dried in the sun. Like, you know, like an old lady's skin. Yeah. Oh, my. Like as good as amazing as he was as crocodile done, dude, I feel like that was, that was as good as he was suffering internally. Does that make sense?

It was like a big release or something. And you could tell. You could feel it. But then he went back, you know, but then he was gone. Yeah. When you're off, all of a sudden it's like, you know, the world of the state. The world of the world. The world of the world.

The world of the world. The world of the world. The world of the world. The world of the world. The world of real world. The way it comes. The Lord's a lot of suit is there. Yeah. Yeah. So there's an aid album, Asterios Aid. I think it's Asterios Aids. Is that what it is? Oh, let me see. It's called Asterios Aids. Oh, no. No. Asterios Aid. Yeah. That's better. Asterios Aid. Yeah.

That's better. AsteriosAid.com. A bunch of the Dix show artists have put together an album to help him with his legal fees because they're very lazy. Have you ever been sued for being like too attractive? Not doing Pilates right or something like that? No. It's expensive to defend. Some small, dicked,

um, cupped, bobbledook, book failing, former New York Times best selling 90s, has been in nasal, two nasal for YouTube as, um, maybe spaghetti brainbrained probably on some sort of a spectrum. I don't know which one it is. Could sue you for an indescribable amount of money over bullshit, and you still have to defend it. That's. And you have to hire the best people you can hire because, else it'll go on forever. So the Dixho guys have put together an album called the Stereos Aid. bandcamp.com. It was number one in comedy. I'm bandcamp.com. I got up to like number nine.

Sweet. Yeah. That's great. So you're a year after Cuxmas Cales, excuse me, Cuxmas. Carol's. A Stereios gets on Billboard again. We'll see you next week. Asterios, Aid. I'm not the strong. Am I the strong, Sean? Are you? I think I'm the one who's strong.

Did you just yell at all this time? I think in the live show you might have said, Cuxmas Cales. Cuxmas Cales. Cuxmas Cales. Sounds better. Yeah. Cuxmas Cales is stupid.

Cuxmas Cuxmas Cales. Yeah.mas Cales. Cuxmas Cales. Sounds better. Yeah. Cuxmas Cales. It's stupid. It's a student called Cuxmas Cales. Yeah. It's a better name. Huh. It rolls off the tongue. It rolls off the tongue. Thank you, Lisa. Let's end with a, I'm going to end with a song from Cux from a stereo side. Okay. Grant Moni Please check out my Patreon.com Flash a stereo You can access all my vids And all my stupid shows I'll scream all my punchlines out

So that you get the jokes I need a new house for my wife, why you must subscribe Patreon gotta go subscribe I voted for Trump, but I'm still a LivedTowerCock Patreon, oh I'll eat your kids, Cause I'm a digital cyber demon Hey, Trion, gotta go subscribe My contest is sick Wait, Brady can suck my dick

You'll cut me and don't cut you Hey, Trion Gotta go subscribe Gotta go subscribe Yeah subscribe gotta go subscribe yeah yeah wonderful okay here we go here we go here we go

hey dick uh... that road uh... on the reddit i just got back from the chic Chicago road rage and it was cool. I just wanted to share something kind of fucked up though that happened because it's never happened to me at a live show and it didn't really happen to me even more it happened near me. I was in the back near the top of the the rows. Next to me down to your rows this girl kind of just stands up and she

wanders over and then she starts locking up the stairs behind us. She was going to the top of the stairs and it was weird. She was super fucking drunk and this guy I guess she either came with or was trying to make something happen, was calling her to come back because she was kind of wandering off because you're too drunk, you know. And then I forget about her for about 10 seconds and then she walks back down the steps. But following her like a crop duster plane. No, the most putrid rancid smell of shit Yeah She shitter pants and she walked up there to try and do it discreetly. I'm guessing Discreetly as you can shit your pants and a crowded venue of 300 some people

Yeah, that was pretty funny See you later. Thanks for coming to my town by the funny. See you later. Thanks for coming to my town, by the way. It was cool. I hope so. Portland, Lacey. Yes. Yeah.

You know, my third favorite part of the show, Thomas McCoy, Spectral Analysis, brought us some presents and one of them was this crown. It's cool. It's the same crown Maddox has. His whole career, he found it. So I also had 80s girls wearing it around all night. She had, she's like, oh, here's your crown. I was like, no, I think you need to wear this. It would cause me great.

I would really get a great thrill of seeing where this crown all night. And just going around the bar and she's signing people's like things like 80s or what there's with this stupid little smiley face. She writes on kids as papers. That was the best part. Like you got the crown now. But the signature of the show belongs to life coach. Life coach was signing things like a 13 year old girl hand writing and taking up like half of the page. He was trying cursive for the first time. He's never written, he's never written cursive in his life. So he's signing in like a child gripping a pen, writing life coach.

Looks like shit. I could imagine. He didn't charge me for the signatures. His signatures, thank God. He didn't invoice me for every signature. Yeah, life coach, five bucks. Don't worry, I'll invoice dick. Kaching, kaching, kaching, kaching.

Hey, dick. John from Indiana here. Great fucking job on the show. Diego. Diego, thanks to Mad C fucking job on the show. T.A.G.A.G.A. was some thanks to Mad Cucks for reading the letter. I'm sure Dearest George is pissing in his pants right now. Don't know who that is. Thank you to Sean for just sitting there in his v-neck. It was a great show.

I'm just sitting there. Yeah. Hey, Dick, this is a silver hammer. I'm outside the Apollo. I'm pretty big right now But I would like to I have a complaint. I got kicked out of the event at the very end because I was saying mean stuff and I hurt Peach's feelings. Yeah, you did what's what that? That you did that I don't think you should be having such fascism on your show Thank thick the show was great except for the part right out kicked out for not doing anything wrong. Yeah Oh, I wonder why that is I wonder why a guy who got kicked out's voices fuck Sean That is. I wonder why a guy who got kicked out's voices fucked, Sean. Yeah, fucking.

Okay, can't imagine why he, we would not want him in the venue. I guess he probably just screamed himself to death before the show at a protest against a puppy mills and then came to the show, sat quietly, was kicked out for no reason after the show, and then his voice is fucked, but he had to get it out then, the call out then. Yeah, fucking asshole. I love that kid, but he's a kid. That was the funniest part,

is that Peach got him kicked out. He's like, well, he's threatening me. Yeah, I think I have these 19. Yeah, he's just a fucking idiot. He's just a, that was. Right? I love him. He's hilarious.

Also a bit of a goof. Yeah. Right? Sure. It's fun. You know what, I got, I was at a conference and I was like 23, 24, 25 maybe. And I remember showing up the next day at like a dinner,

like a company dinner, feeling like kind of a jerk because the last night I'd gotten, the last night I got way too drunk and I took this guy's Rascal Scooter. Yeah, I know this. You remember this story? It's dude this dude showed up This guy to Rascal Scooter because his leg was broken in like a hundred places. There's like a spiral flat fracture like mr. Glass and Unbreakable For people who were watching livestream I'm rubbing my chest because that fall on the bike

fucked all my pectorus muscles up. So I just rub it because it feels otherwise it hurts. I'm laughing so much on the show that it fucking hurts so I gotta rub it. So I do it. I felt like Bob Dole during the live show because I was holding my arm like this in that 20 million dollar man track suit.

Right. But I was pressing on my chest because my chest hurts, but it also reminded me of a muscular Bob Dole. Anyway, so I was in Vegas, and this guy spiral fractured his leg. So I was like, oh man, well, that's, let's get you off this beautiful rascal scooter, though. I took the rascal and was driving around the casino,

drum driving. This is fun. The most fun thing in the world is drunk driving. Completely. Nothing will drunk fucking the worst thing in the world. Always embarrassing. You never come. Drunk driving.

The best thing in the world. You have to be hard at all to do that. Right? Does it make you a little hard? Drunk driving? Yeah. No. The it make you a little hard? Drunk driving? Yeah. No. The rascal.

It's a little. In a confined environment, absolutely. I don't talk about drinking and driving a car. You're talking about the rascal scooter. Yeah. Like when automated cars come to be and you get drunk, the car will tell you, it will let you drive. Then no, this is the first killer app of auto driving cars, right?

You get in and the steering wheel pops out and it's like, all right, motherfucker, take us home. And then the car lets you drive when you fuck up the car, it's like, no, no, no, no, no, you would have, you would have fucking, you would have just sputting out. No, you're not going that fast. 17, dude, 70. All right, all right, all right, all right, all right no, no, no, you would have fucking, you would have just sputting out. No, you're not going that fast. 17, dude, 70.

All right, all right, all right, all right, all right. And you know what? You know what's fucked, Sean? I bet that app would get kicked off of the self-driving car store. Well, probably what, yeah. Even though it's based on their own technology, I'm getting upset over an app

that I will invent 20 years from now. Yeah. It's this, Lacey, it never fucking changes. It's like that huge, it's like that Tom Hanks movie, Atlas, whatever. Cloud Atlas. All throughout time, I'm getting fucked. I'm getting fucked.

I'm the Biff. I'm Biff. I'm Biff. Every fucking time, my totally fine, normal idea. We got a self-driving car. You can make apps for it. Oh, I'll make like an app where my dog can take itself to the groomer.

That's cool. Yeah, I got this idea where it's like, you could be drunk driving in your car and the car will stop you from doing these dangers. No. No. No. Why? You're basically just doing, it's just, it's basically what

you're doing. It's, it's basically just your system operating at maximum fault tolerance see. What the fuck is wrong with that? Have I lost it? The girls are laughing. So I think I haven't. But that's the problem. I want to operate everything at maximum fault tolerance. That's the difference. That's the difference. Maximum fault tolerance. Well, we have this here in case it fucks up like once or twice every 10 years. Let's just fuck it up all day every day. Let's have 10,000 fuck up a minute. And then we can see where the real problem is, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, home. And then, and then it was, not only that, but the car graded you on how close you went to the car's decisions. That's the best, you get as close as you can get

to 100% to complete. It's a driving simulator. It's except it's real life. No, exactly. So it's real, the real pressure is on. Yeah. I guarantee you that we'll get fucking kicked out of the self driving car app store. Man, if that were invented, I just invented it, bitch.

Well, the Sean, I mean, excuse me, Sean, respectfully, I would start drinking again. All right, that's it. I'm done. Goodbye. Thanks, guys. All right, that's it. I'm done. Goodbye. Thanks guys.