The Dick Show - Episode 80 - Dick on The Sounds of Spite

Episode Date: December 12, 2017

Asterios tops the Billboard music charts for the second time this year, VERY FAKE NEWS CNN attacks me with violent alt-left phraseology, Kian likes Malort, my YMCA reboot, Eastern fetishization and the night of ten thousand bing bongs, my unstoppable Magic: The Gathering deck, Asterios' $600 invoice, how to properly follow police instructions, the great Madbux buy out, things I am advised not to say about a marriage, Wikipedia begging, how to wear the TDS Gentleman's Hoodie, the TDS Top Gay calls in with Hot Goss, the meat machine works against you, how to send your neighbors a message, and Izzy's story about sex toy returns; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!

Hey, you want diggin' into you, you love dig? It's the only show where everything is a contest. Coming to you live from a mountain bunker, deep in the heart, deep in the heart, deep in a mountain side in the heart of the city of failure. I am your host, Dick Masterson, the 20 million dollar man,

the 20 million dollar man, your host, Dick Masterson, the 20 million dollar man, dollars. They're gonna, people are gonna, the 20 million dollar man. Dollars. People are gonna make that reference in the future. They're gonna remember Dick Masterson, the 20 million dollar man, they're gonna go, what's a dollar? Yeah, the American dollar. What's an American dollar?

I only use bitcoins. The Amaro. The Amaro. Yeah. That's what they're gonna, the US government is gonna have to come up with a currency to compete with the fake nerd currency of Bitcoin.

Yeah. Can you imagine how funny that will be? Mad Bucks. No? Yeah. It's gonna, it's a slow burn. It's a hundred year plan. It's like how LinkedIn became legit over the years.

Oh, and did that happen? Yeah, it's too much. Yeah, LinkedIn. Well, LinkedIn? People ask for it all the time. Yeah, but who are people? What circles it's so much. Yeah, LinkedIn. Well, LinkedIn? People ask for it all the time. Yeah, but who are people? What circles do you hang out in where people are asking for your LinkedIn?

They just want to LinkedIn profiles, well, as a resume a lot of the time. It's not unknown. LinkedIn. God, I hate LinkedIn. Yeah, I don't mind it. I mean, I have one because people ask, what is it?

Like, how can people find you on LinkedIn? LinkedIn.com slash. None your business. None of your business. Sean's rap career. This is, with me as always, this is my audio engineer. Audio engineer, audio engineer.

Sean, the audio engineer. Hello, what's up buddy? Joining us today for a special episode is Key on Magganya. Hey everybody. Dick Show lawyer. Oh yeah. Dixho lawyer. Oh yeah. If you have any legal problems and you've already taken the law into your own hand, that's

when you call. We don't have it. That's when you call Keon. That's when you better call Keon at Dixho lawyer. It's like the 18 for lawbreakers. Yeah. If you've got a problem, don't take the law into your own hand. But when you do that, better called key. If you've done that, because it's, you know, it's

tempting. Sure. No, it's absolutely tempting. It isn't. That's why I'm employed and why I have a house that didn't burn down. Yeah. Right. Well, it's lawyers are expensive. Let me tell you something. It's, I've been talking to a lot of lawyers this week because of the lawsuit. Yeah. And it's like, you can hear the money burning on the other end of the phone when you're talking to them. You can hear like a little John love it's laughing.

Oh. As your money's there. And every time they stammer, you're like, how much did that, how much did that stammer cost me? Right. How much, how much is it costing how much did that stammer cost me? Right. How much is it costing me to tell you how my day is going? Uh-huh. 50 bucks?

What am I? Do you tell me when, when to stop? Right. Right? How's my day going? Well, it's going expensive so far. Yeah, is it to do, do stammer's count as complete words? I want, or is it more like the like the three fifths compromise or something, you know?

To get over that, we don't actually charge by the word because there's a lot of litigation that arises as to whether a stammer is a word. We just charge by the hour. Yeah. Oh. I want to stop watch. I want to stop watch.

Thanks for ruining that. And one for the lawyer. And I'm gonna every time there's any kind of pleasantness or pleasantries, I'm gonna hit, I'm hitting the watch and I'm deducting that shit. Stop, I have to be like, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, exactly. Cause it all adds up.

Cause it all adds the fuck up. Yeah. Why do you think we do it? That's all, that's the entire job of a lawyer. It's just pleasantries. How the fuck was, how did this take 20 hours? But isn't there something, isn't there something kind of calming about knowing that you have a really good lawyer? You know, let me tell you something about it. Because it's

like, there's a point at which like a lawyer becomes your lawyer. Yeah. And you're like, okay, he's my advocate. Yeah. This gave me a real sense of pride. Oh, yeah, I was talking to the lawyer. It's not, it's not Keon for this case, unfortunately, because New York. New York, yeah. It's in New York. Mm-hmm. If Maddox had sued in California, if Maddox had sued me, oh man, it would be.

Would be. Keon would be. Oh, a lot of fun. Show up in court, looking like a, looking like a, one of those guys from Warhammer 40K, one of those Doom troopers, Sean. It looks like Storm, it looks like Nazi versions of Stormtroopers. Yeah, that's definitely a reference I get. You thought Stormtroopers looked like bad guys.

These guys are the real, they got like machine guns with chain saws on them, dude. My picture, it's so clearly. Yeah. I know, I'm the one who doesn't know what that. How do you not know what a space marine is Sean? Come on. Yeah, space marine. That's what I was talking about. That would have been key on in court.

Dressing out just for fun, because he knows how stupid the lawsuit is. The entire premise. So the I have one. It's the equivalent of of wearing a shirt, a t-shirt with a bow tie on it and calling it a tuxedo. What is the lawsuit?

Yeah. Isn't it? Yeah, how's thatedo. What is the lawsuit? Yeah. Isn't it? Yeah, how's that for irony? Yeah. Yeah. Um, so my lawyers in, in New York, I'd call with them. Thank you, everyone who donates to Patreon.com slash the Dix show. Oh, yeah.

I get to that in a second, by the way. Yeah. My lawyers in New York, I have on a conference call with them and there's people on the call talking about, talking about their tour, talking about their marketing for their tour, they're having like a little discussion, not an argument, not just talking about what they're gonna do and how they're gonna promote it.

I'm like, what the fuck, what kind of fucking operation is this, that they're, what are they sharing a conference slide with people? So the lawyer's doing something, he's like, hey guys, you got to, if you guys been here for the last hour, talking, I got a call here. You got to hop off, that's my lawyer.

And I was like, oh, I was listening to that interesting conversation about some tour and he goes, yeah, that was the village people. Oh, gotcha. Sean. So that's who, that's who's on, that's who's in my corner. You mess with the $20 million man, you also got to deal with an Indian. that you, Sean. So that's who, that's who's on, that's who's in my corner.

You mess it, you mess with the $20 million man, you also got to deal with an Indian. A cop, a cowboy. A construction worker, a cowboy, a chef, a pizza chef, a garbage man, a fireman. How many of them were there? An army guy, a guy, a smurfurf a guy dressed up as a smurf a Blue guy. Yeah a magician. You remember the people in the village people not all of them a magician a

Guy who just graduated a more tissue. Yeah, what are they wear? I'm trying to pick iconic outfits. Yeah, You remember the magician and the graduate coming out? Why am I seeing? Yes. That's how they do. It's coming back. Okay. Anyway, speaking of enough of the bullshit, speaking of lawyers, I, enough with the bullshit

he says. I have it. You guys know, holy shit. There's a, a stereos has topped the billboard charts again again with a stereo say yes a stereo say dickheads made a musical album for the legal defense of a stereo's coconose yeah which he desperately needs because he's been blood dry by women. He needs help. Yeah. He's getting it in the form of a musical tribute charity album, which has topped the bill for the second.

Asterius is now a two-time billboard chart topper. Can you believe that? Can't make this shit up. That's one per year. Yeah. That the Dix show has been operating. One, we thought one was a fluke. Two, well isn't it twice in the same year?

Cause he didn't release it pre-Christmas like I did. He's, Asterios is guiding on like an April. He's on the arch. He's on the arch. Twice in the same year. Yeah. I'm not gonna get this guy a real record album. So he has the idea.

These are real record albums. That is as real as it gets. Real record contract, my mistake. Look, money is computers. Asterios is a billboard charting. Is a top billboard charting artist. He doesn't need a deal. True bizarre.

He is the deal. Asterios is the new Simon Cowell. He's gonna sit out there with his squinty eyes. Look, people are gonna bring him life bits. It'll be the Asterios Idol show. And it'll be me and Sean. And then Asterios is the Simon Cowell. I think it'd be better if it was Asterios

and Crocodile Dunnedude and the Enigma. It's all Asterios. And he's gonna sit there. And each one will judge you in a weird voice that all turns cockney by the second sentence. It's his own Dr. Strangelo. I'm the enigma. Oh, I thought it was terrible, mate.

Oh, I'm crooked. I'll don't need oil. I'm a stereo's coconut. It's his own Dr. Strangelo. And he's gonna judge your, it's not even a comedy album. It's a, it's a, it's not, it defies explanation. What a stereosis that. Yeah.

Is it even a comedy album? It's a comedy life. Yeah, his life is something else. Speaking of which, I got a major bone, I don't know if that guy's calling in today, but who? Asterios. What do you do?

Yeah, the guy who put together a stereosate is calling in. He's going to tell us about it. He's super cool. He's done a lot of music for the show. Oh, great. He always fuck up his name too. Goddamn it. Eli? What? Eli Arson. Is that how you say it?

Well, we'll get to him in a second. You remember my life coach submitted an invoice for 60 bucks after road rage. I think it was $61. $61 for all the beer he drank while he was hanging out at the bar. Yeah, talking to people who had gun questions for him. Sure. I think it was $61 dollars for all the beer he drank while he was hanging out at the bar. Yeah. Talking to people who had gun questions for him. Sure.

Uh, he sent me an apology for that bottle and an explanation too. Well, you, you, okay, which I didn't read. Right. It was too embarrassed. I was too embarrassed that he sent an apology. I was like, I can't read. I'm not reading another man's apology. Poor form. Oh, mm mm mm mm mm.

Apoll, where's my 60 bucks though? You know, you said an apology. I am glad that he did send that in because I am still ready to go forward with the class action lawsuit. We have all people who bought coach a drink at the bar. Oh yeah. We didn't get paid for.

So please contact dickshowlawyergmail.com. If you worth the Chicago show and bought coach a drink at the bar. Oh, yeah. Didn't get paid for. So please contact Dick Show lawyer at gmail.com. If you worth the Chicago show and bought coach a drink, and we're gonna file a great suit here in California. Yeah. Good luck defending yourself coach. Yeah coach. Who are you gonna hire to defend you? Keon?

No. Asterios, I guess asterios caught wind of this and sends me an invoice for $600. John. Yeah. What for for one day? Asterios racked up $600 of invocible receipts somehow in one day. Are they itemized? Yes.

They're all they're all itemized. I don't know if I want to go through it now. I want him, I want him to be on the show to go through it. Okay. Because this is, I mean, he's spending, he's spending, he's like the opposite Bill Gates. There was a, apparently in Chicago, at Road Raid Chicago, there should have been a ticker above a stereo

just climbing rapidly at how much money he was, of my money he was spending. I want to know what he got for $600. Yeah. Yeah, me too. Yeah. He's doing his own Brewster's millions out there. Was it like the a stereo's millions?

Hey, can you spend $600 in this city you've never been? Oh, I don't know, but I'd sure like to find out. Come on. Well, you know, I don't know, but I'd sure like to find out. Come on. Well, you know, I mean, he needs it though. Well, he did a legal defense. Okay. Yeah. Okay.

See what else? What else do I got here? Okay. Okay. Let me start with what makes me rage. I don't want to get too lost in the in the esterios weeds here. Patreon implemented a fee. I know everybody's pissed off about, I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. I wouldn't, if I, Patreon now, instead of just taking a cut of what you give to me, they're adding on a cut for themselves, which is, which is like fine, if, which is fine if you've got spaghetti in your head, right? Like, you look at that and go, oh, well, you know, at least people know exactly what they're giving to Dick.

Yeah, that's great, but you kind of just forced everyone to tip you. Yeah. I'm not, it's like parties of Aitor more. Yeah. Automatic, you know. So you've got people who have been pled and done supporting the show in the shenanigans in the lawsuit for a year over a year at patreon.com slash the dick show getting amazing kind getting getting to see the video of road rage Chicago for only one

dollar yeah and you're rewarding this loyalty and this patronage by just sticking a fee, a totally unnecessary fee in there without even asking me, without even warning me, right? You see how, you see how annoying this might, like even if we even, if it costs one person's pledge, that is too much. That is a one bridge that's, you know, fucking hard.

We had to work to get that one guy to kick in a dollar. Somebody will come in the comments so I've, you know what, I never thought I'd be a patron, but you finally got me. After 80 episodes, you finally got me. My brother was like that. He's like, I've never paid for anything like this.

He's like, but I gotta know. I gotta know the gods. Yeah. People have to know the gods. Yeah. And they stick, they stick, and it's like a 29 cent fee or something like that. Yeah.

Come on! Come on, you guys! Come on! Which adds up to a lot of money over the, you know. You coulda, you coulda asked, you coulda let me opt into it, right? Yeah. You coulda grandfathered people like your business is growing, the creators are working nonstop for you. Patrons are new people are coming in and pledging, get them. Hey, when you sign up, it'll also cost you this.

That doesn't seem so bad. Not retroactively, not the guy who works down the street at the liquor store doesn't come knocking on the door. Hey, dick, by the way, I don't know if you know this, but I've been maintaining my liquor store by taking a knocking on the door. Hey, dick, by the way, I don't know if you know this, but I've been maintaining my liquor store by taking a little cut out of every bottle of liquor you got. But in order for you to support wild turkey,

now I've got, I'm gonna go ahead and charge you on addition to that bottle. So you know that wild turkey in Bourbon County, Kentucky, is getting your 21 dollars. Like, motherfucker, I know how the world works. You don't need, what the fuck? I didn't need this. Can't stop drinking wild turkey though.

Yeah. 101 or 80 proof? Only 101, anything less than 100 proof of any liquor will instantly kill you. Instantly make you sick. Yep. Don't drink. That's a...

That's medical advice. Yeah, that's medical advice from Bill Guy. The science do. Do not drink too much. You need to treat your body like the high performance machine that it is. High octane. High octane, tackling fuel. Sean keeps you from tackling fuel.

Premature detonation. Yes. 101 only. If you're drinking 80, you need to, you need to have a shot of 101 at least every once in a while. 151, I started doing that because... Did you really? 151? Or were we...

For a while, I drank one because you and the two went express when we all lived together. Up in Valencia, we lived in that big, cool house, acted like assholes for like three years of our lives. Which is, which everybody should do. It was great. We had our own college experience, I think yeah, and I were creating our own college experience I think that's true. Did you go to college? No, no, I went to a highly technical school So it's like six dudes to every it was the ratio of women to men at this or the men to women at the school

I went to it was not like going to UCSD no It was three to one men to women and there was so many lesbians. It was not like going to UCSD. No. I didn't want to express. It was three to one men to women and there were so many lesbians. It was six to one. Yeah. And worst all the chicks were geniuses. Right. Oh man.

You want to try to sneak one in with a chick who got a 1600 on her SATs. Good fucking luck, man. Good fucking luck. Good. Good fucking luck. Good luck, T-sir. Yeah, so I switched to high octane liquor to keep you guys from pilfering my liquor reserves. Really?

Yeah, I didn't tell you. That's what I did. We used to drink 101 quite a bit. Well, then you adapted. It was like the Borg. Living with guys. I always, I don't think I still drink with other guys. I think I used to, yeah quite a bit. Well, then you adapted. It was like the Borg. Living with guys. I always, I don't think I still... Living with other guys.

Yeah, you just borrowed it. I think I used to buy quite a bit. Yeah, yeah, everyone does. Yeah. Just like coach. Alright, sending out invoices. Here's what, it's police gun brutality week. Is that a fun topic to talk about?

Police gun brutality week. Yeah, gun violence. That's getting violent. Who's getting that kind of shot in Mesa? Did you see that video? That's like a shot in Mesa. Yes, it goes, it's gun violence. Yeah. And then it's sexual harassment season.

And then it's back to police brutality season. Okay, got it. Got it. Endless, it's endless. Never gonna stop. Goes around and around. Yeah. I don't know what's endless. Never gonna stop, goes around and around. I don't know what's next.

What is next? I don't know. We'll see. We gotta make a calendar of this though, because they can't go back to the same topic twice. If a cop shoots another guy right now. But they just do. No one cares.

Oh, you mean in a row. Yeah, in a row. You gotta have something in the middle. You gotta mix it up. Okay. Let's see here. Yeah, I a row. You gotta have something in the middle. You gotta mix it up, right? Let's see here. Yeah, I don't, I don't really,

it's probably been covered by more qualified people. Oh, I doubt it. You doubt it, I doubt it. I mean, I think it's a scope creep issue. Did you see the video? No, of the, was it, it was just this past week? Yeah, no, I didn't see any recent shooting videos.

He's coming out of his, he's, this is the guy coming out of his hotel room and this cop like reads him a supervillain monologue when he comes out. And he's like, if you, if you move, I will destroy you. I need you to listen to the words. Like he sounds like an animal lector. I did see that. You did see that?

I did see that. I want you to be sure. He says the, that if you, if you so much as even think the wrong move, it'll be the last mistake you've ever made in your life. Like he's going on and on. Like he's dirty hairy. Like he's a cartoon supervillain. And then he starts in with a Simon Says routine. Yes.

That I tried to follow. Yeah, other people were saying the same thing. Cross your legs. Now hold up. Hold up most of your thumbs. Yeah. What? What the?

And the guy's like, he's like in a, he's like in sauce. I don't have, what is the most of my thumbs? And the guy's like, you shut your mouth. Don't ever, don't, you follow every single word, every single instruction down to the letter and you don't say shit. Yeah. What's the meaning of life?

What? Yeah. Or I'm gonna fucking waste you right now, your motherfucker. Yep. He's insane, man. It wasn't saying. It's too insane that I...

And it turns out the guy, you got off. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. No, that's right. So he was acquitted. That's right. This happened in what last year or something. Yeah, it wasn't saying.

He had a couple of pellet rifles, I think in his hotel room for pest control or something like that. You don't need a reason to have cool stuff. Oh, no. I mean, maybe he had some... he didn't have anything on him and they reached for his waistband to pull up his pants that were falling off when he was trying to follow all these commands and crawl toward him, right?

Something like that. Yeah, instantly massacred. Yeah. Oh, I mean, it's, it's, oh God, that's terrible. So that happened. I didn't joke. What's that? I was just going to say he shouldn't have been crawling toward the cop, but that's your legal

advice. Yeah. Well, oh God, that's your legal advice. Yeah Oh God, that's not even funny. That's that poor Tuti Todd cross cross your thighs do the hokey poke yeah Pull up your pants crawl forward arms up. I haven't seen the video Tuti Todd Tuti Todd making this upper those are the those are the actual commands he gave Look at the Tuti top. That's a song for kids. I know you love playing it.

But it's weird. It's like it makes you do weird stuff, like putting your knees together and bending over and sticking your tongue out. And then you shake your hips around and go, a 2D top. A 2D top. Why is this a gap of that one? That happened to me with cops. This is the new album from Jerry Sandusky. So something very similar happened to me with cops,

which is the only thing I wanna say on it. I was, I was about 16, I think. You've told this story. Have I told it on the show? I don't know if you told it on this show. You definitely, you've definitely told it on air. Oh, I have? Yeah.

It's a good story. No, it's a good story. I don't wanna, I don't wanna head that on. A bunch of, I was pulling out of a party rental place because I was returning some helium tanks for school, for student government. We'd obviously made a bunch of balloons with helium. It was taking them back during school hours.

I pull out of the party rental place. And I look right, being a safe driver. And I look left and there's a cop with a gun right in my face, I'm like, about three feet away. I'm like, okay, and I did one of those cartoons and I looked right again and then, whoa, I don't think all, I knew I was doing it too. I gotta get this one in there, whoa.

I start screaming at me. Yeah. So I put your hands in the air, put your hands in the air, put your hands in the air. All right, man. So I got my foot on the brakes, right? And even as a kid, I'm thinking, oh, okay, I'm, there's a, what's the odds of getting killed here? Like, that's what the brain is, a big,

base computer. Yeah, I think I'm gonna get get I'm gonna wander into math territory for a minute Let me play a This is a good yeah Yeah Here we go here. We go here's some science for you That's a half-ass explain, something. The brain is a probability matrix machine. And all it does is take in the input of what's probably going to happen. I think that's called a Bayes equation or something like that.

It's not like if this or that is going to happen. It's what's the likelihood of this happening? And what is the likelihood of catastrophic failure? And what is the likelihood of just normal failure? Yeah. Right? Like, it's not, you look at a stats and a stats will tell you, okay, there's about, there's a 50-50 chance of this happening.

But then in the brain, you're like, well, what's the chance of it just being a massive fuck up? Very small? Okay, I'll take 50, 50, right? That's all the brain, because all it's for, all the brain is for is if I could hit shit with rocks and spears. Am I gonna survive this encounter with this wolf? Yeah, that's way down deep.

Yeah, it's like your brain is like from a little homunculus, from a little smurf that's running around in the trees, trying not to get eaten. Yeah. And when you put it in the body of a six foot tall man who's looking at another man who's got the same fucking brain in him who's got a gun,

your brain's still doing the Bay's equations. It's like, yeah, I think if he's working with the same wet machine that I am, there is a good chance that I'm gonna get shot here. Good chance. Because a computer will tell you, absolutely white, no way. You put in all the requirements here. There's no way you're gonna get shot.

You're a white teenager in a suburban neighborhood. You're not committing any crimes, not threatening at all. No possible way of you getting shot. But the wet computer is designed a little differently. The meat computer and it says you're going to get fucking shot by this guy. Well, you are in a 50-50 getting shot situation. So I look at him, of course, the windows up. And my first instinct is to put the car in park. Yeah, put the car in park because I'm fucking pan, Sean. No, that's just an instinct.

Yeah, I was 16, I'd been parking a car for eight months already, right? Yeah, it's a, it's second nature at that. Second, it's like deleting an episode. Yeah, just like that. It's exactly like that. That's how that happened right over and over again. Actually, there was a muscle memory thing involved in that. It's like grabbing your, your cock. Yeah. Outside. Yeah. You work at home, you spend a decent, I'm not going to try to bullshit you guys. You spend a decent amount of time just going, hmm, gotta think about that. Might as well grab my cock at the same time. Yeah. Two words one stone. Yeah. Yeah. What is my, what's my hand doing?

Nothing. Nothing. Nothing. Let's put it to some work. Sitting idly by. So when you're out doing work, you kind of, you lose your inhibitions a little bit. Every once in a while you go for a reach like same thing as parking the car in that situation. Not in church, not in church. But I had this. It's a specific church. I thought to myself, if I reach for this park, I'm gonna get shot. So I didn't, I didn't do it.

Yeah, and then I see the other cops creepy crawling out of the woodwork, all pulling out there, guys. Oh, wow. All right, well, sure you're brought in the guys. Yeah, you sure you brought enough guys to deal with this. What else, what were you guys doing before this? Now, did you mention why the guns are drawn on you? I didn't know.

I'm walking you through it because it's the same thing that happened to this guy. So when he's like crying on the ground, I'm like, yeah, I didn't cry. Yeah. Dicks not a pussy. Yeah, I didn't cry, but you must have been very confused. Like what the hell?

You know what, I wish I had done something wrong. In my mind, I'm like, wow, this is the, it's worse, it's way worse to be innocent. And I've been caught doing bad stuff. And I'm like, okay, this is what I gotta lie about, it's way worse to be innocent in this. I've been caught doing bad stuff and I'm like, okay, I got this, what I got to lie about, this is what I got to lie about, you got to, you start building your defense on a solid lie. But when you're caught doing nothing, it's a very panicking. Well, then you're like, the truth might not be good enough.

Yeah, the truth isn't good enough because I'm currently exhibiting all the traits of it. Yeah. Now I've got to try to figure out what they've got in their brains. Yes. Right? And I got to do that through a closed window in drive with 20 cops who are using their bodies, Dumly, to block my truck, my F-150. Yeah.

And this is, and I realize as they're panicking and swarming around like, there's no, there's no procedure going on here. No. These are just, these are just guys that I would not associate with in real life, behaving in all the ways that they do, which is the reason that I would not associate with them. Wonderful. It goes, it goes right out the window. Right out the window. I've heard somebody say that no such thing is a badge or a procedure in this situation. It's just a bunch of guys who want to do something. I've heard a gun advocate say and he teaches guns, carrying as guns as a, you know, self-defense and, you know, he's, he's, he preaches a lot of responsibility with it and he said, don't think you'll ever rise to the occasion.

He says, you will fail to your, to your level of training on your worst day. And I think that's what cops do. I think they're not trained very well. And they're responsible for literally everything. Yes. I'm gonna drug problem. That just, it's a cops. Yeah. It's got cops fault. But they fall, they fall to the level of their very mediocre training in many cases. And they're and they're on their worst day every time a tense situation hits. Yeah.

So they're screaming at me to get out of the car. Yeah. Like, man, I just heard, put your hands up, don't move, get out of the car and don't move from about six guys with guns. You guys, can you go have a powwow or something and figure out exactly what it is? Electorepresentative, too. I get the consensus.

I'm really, I'm really excited. I could explain this to you, except I'm in a soundproof car cab right now. So I'm just, I'm really hoping that one of you figures, that one of you has tipped over the middle of the bell curve into the 100 IQ plus territory and can come in and save me. That's what I don't pray. I don't personally pray to an omnipotent all going all knowing all powerful God. I pray to one guy who's sitting at 101. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Because everybody, 100 and below,

will fucking burn you as a witch. That's what happened. That one guy, 101 could have stopped the entire Salem witch trial. Yeah, yeah. Just Lord, bump one of these motherfuckers up by one. But please, please. So I said, okay, dude I

Have to put I'm picking words that I know you can read lips on right with the guy who's gone is the closest I have to put this in park and you're pointing like at the at the column at the steering column I need to put this in park. He's telling us to suck his dick. Shoot him. Shoot him. I need to put this in park. So I start moving my hand down. Don't move. Don't move. Okay. We appear to be at a stalemate. Yeah. Fellas. Yeah. You're gonna, you just have to wait. That's like that's where they were. That was my decision in that situation. I just have to wait until they can see and process at the same time.

Yeah. And as I watch the video, I hear that guy screaming his super villain rant. And I'm watching the guy try to obey his tutti top. Simon says commands on the dude, the only thing you have to just lay there if you just lay there You will live but the second you start trying the second you start moving you are gonna get killed Yeah, yeah, you can't do anything to heighten the situation even if it's what they tell you to do you can't even be a participant

Yeah That was the saddest part of watching. It's like, oh man, I know a lot of people have been in this situation. No, what reason was he acquitted for it? They think that there was an imminent threat by him, because what do you do? Like everybody, everybody collectively,

like the hive conscience that we all have, or the, is it conscience? The hive moral center of the human race, which is social media, and it's always right, knows exactly what the solution is. Just get rid of them. Like you can't, you can't bring down the entire, you can't bring down the anger of an entire planet on one guy, because he shouldn't have been in there. You know, it's so our local communities have been so fucked up by trying to, by behaving

like these dystopian franchises. Your local community acts like a franchise of the whole. Where it isn't, it is an entirely localized bureaucracy where you can't, you can't walk into your share of station, go, dude, you got a lot of fuck balls working here. That guy's got to go, that guy's got to go, that, well, we've got all these procedures. Dude, fuck your procedures. What the fuck? You have got, you have got to implement serious changes immediately

without this red, no process, no process is going to make us any better than just going on your fucking gut because everybody's gonna override it anyway. Sure seems that way. That's what makes me rage about it. Yeah. I guess it's just, it's too fucking, you look at that guy, the guy, the cop who's pulling, I think,

there's nothing, nothing in me wants this guy to be a cop. No. I mean, don't, don't we know that? Yeah. Yeah. Anyway, I didn't get shot. Yeah, and then the cops, after they pulled me out of my car, somebody had called in and said that I had a gun,

which was a toy gun, because as I said, it was part of a performance. There was a bunch of props in there. There was a bunch of Indian stuff right next to the gun, right next to the gun with a giant red cap on it, like Indian Tomahawks and stuff. The cops went through all my shit, all six of them that still had nothing to do,

they went through all my school shit and made fun of it. Yeah. Like they pulled out a book that I had on my backpack and I go, Suns and Lovers, what's this about? I mean, it's an exploration of the edible complex. Like, I don't know, man, I don't want, do you fucking think that I want to read this? I have to read this because if I don't go to class where I'm forced to read this you muscle fucks will come

Will do something Cuz you that's what you do so they tore up all my shit. Yeah Left it all over the place my car and then said Well, you know think about, think about your choices. What you're done here today, I'm like, oh man, I guarantee you. What exactly did I do? What did I do here?

What did I do here? What you fucking around with it like chewing on it or like just, oh, I'm sure. Yeah, I'm sure. Yeah. Fiddling with it. I mean, yeah, yeah, exactly. It's red.

Yeah. Yeah. Anyway, big scope, here's what's red. Yeah. Anyway, big scope. Here's what else makes me rage. On the rocks, say on the rocks. The expression? Yeah. No.

So what do you want? You want your whiskey with ice? Yes. Yeah, with ice. Makes sense. I've said on the rocks so many times, it's like I feel like a jerk off having to order it like that. I'd like a maker on the rocks. If you catch my meaning.

Fetishization of Eastern culture. It's a big one here. That's a big one here. That's a big one. Yeah, I went to a performance last night with, I went to a performance that my nephew's violin teacher was putting on. I don't know why I got this hair in my ass to do this.

Yeah, I was, I was up taking the kid to violin practice and his teacher's like, oh yeah, I'm gonna be doing a performance downtown. You should come check it out. So I said, huh, that'll be fun. A little culture, Sean. Why did I say that? What?

No, it's you probably going, like why did I say I would go? Now you need it. You need that. You need to have something or else, you need to do something new or else you will just turn into a monster, I think. Mm-hmm.

You will turn into a... But you've seen, you've seen violinists a million times, right? I mean, it's important. I don't know how to explain it. If you sit there and watch television that's produced, it's like fast food for your eyes. What I'm saying is you do this anyway though, don't you? I mean, no, you have to make the effort to do it. No, you personally, don't you,

don't you ever go see the LA Phil? No. Only if I decide to do it. Yeah. That's what I'm saying I decided to do it. Like, oh, this will be, this will be a new way to experience this. I mean, it's just, I see this shit all the time.

Yeah. What the fuck you do? I do, yeah, I really enjoy it. How often do you go? Probably, I mean, not all the time. Yeah. What the fuck you do? I do. Yeah, I really enjoy it. How often do you go? Oh, probably, I mean, not all the time. I probably end up seeing something like that, probably, I don't know, seven, eight times a year at least. Like once a month? Not, no, well, probably maybe once every,

you should, depends. Sometimes they come in clusters. You should announce when you're going, so people could go, so like we could have a road rage L.A. Phil. Exactly. Yeah, I mean, that would get take down everybody throwing cushions out. Do you go to

the like Sean Keon? No, it's my fan. He does like the last time I went to the operatives because they were playing a live show of Hercules versus the vampires during Regen Park and Bruce Perle. That actually was great watching them sing such excellent lines as Oh, no, the floor is lava. How are we going to get across? Oh fantastic. Yeah, that was great. Yeah, opera's not, why do you go to see these things? I mean, I understand it interests you, but like you just, I'm going to put on suit and go downtown and watch some people play. You don't necessarily have it. Well, at the bowl during the summer months, you know, the LA Phil plays all the time and like they'll be, they'll do a Chekhovski

night or they'll do, you know, you actually go to those. Yeah. I look at that every year and I think this is a year I'm going to really get some class shove that on my butt. Oh, they're great. Yeah. You do a great, you do a great, you do a woman though, right? Or do you just, okay, that makes sense.

Oh, okay. Yeah. Is a woman, is she doing most of the planning and buying the tickets and stuff? Uh, I would say, yes, overwhelmingly. Okay, there we go. But it's something that I like to do it. Mystery solved. Well, I tried to do it on my own, and I fucked it all up.

As we get down there, and I was talking to Diego early that day, trying to figure out a stereosis invoice. Yeah. Trying to figure out the size of it. I got a team of scientists working to see why this invoice is so expensive. Yeah, I'm really, I hope he calls in. Me too.

And I floated, I floated by him. And I say, yeah, I'm doing this thing tonight. I'm going down to this red cat theater to see a violent thing. I don't know. And then I immediately regretted it because it was like that feeling where, fuck, I cannot vouch for this thing at all. Yeah. And I, because it because it was like that feeling where, fuck, I cannot vouch for this thing at all. Yeah. And I, because it could be dog shit.

And it could be weird. Yeah. It could be expensive. Like, I know, and it's, I don't wanna trick anybody into doing anything. I don't know that venue. It's a little theater. Yeah, I'm sure.

It's nice. It's under the symphony hall, the Walt Disney symphony hall. Oh, so I figure, hey, how bad could it be, right? Yeah. But also, please don't hold me responsible. I need you to sign a waiver that says, I'm going to this of my own volition and I've been warned many times that it could be completely fucked.

Yeah, because you know, if you go to the Disney, you know whoever's there is going to be worthy of playing a real concert hall. Well, you think that, but I still need the indemnip vacation. No, but I'm saying, you don't know that. You don't know that at this place. I don't know that at this place, I don't know it in general.

I've done no research, even though it's a weird thing for someone to do who's done no, I need this to not reflect on my credit score. Yeah, you know what I'm saying? Right. I need a pre-mulligan. Yeah.

I don't understand. I don't understand. I understand. I need it like you blame it on a friend. Hey, you know, coach said there's this great thing we should go see. He loved it. So I think we should go and check it out

because coach is generally right about these things. And then if it's garbage, you just blame coach. And here comes Keon's invoice now. Yeah, great. We need a, we need like a, we need a friends of dorths about nine bucks, but for straight men. So you could say who wrecked like if you were gay and back in the day, you would say you're friends of Dorothy, right? Because it was like an imaginary woman. Yeah. It needs to be this was recommended to me by Morthy. So, just code because the code needs Diego and his girlfriend there. I'm like, look, I'm trying to talk you out of this, but I need to let you know that I don't know what the fuck this is. I don't know how to do that. Yeah. So we show up and it says,

no, who's we? Me, me Jamie and Diego and his girlfriend. I'll show up to this place. Okay. Okay. How bad could it be, right? There'll be a bunch of classical musicians showing off students. Uh, Sean, we go in and it's celebrating the music of the South, uh, Southeast of South Asia. I thought, oh, no, no, no, no, no. No, why didn't I look at the West sign? Not Asian, no, no, no, in my head. I'm going, no, no. Did you like that? No.

28 minute Dan Balsolo. 28, it was two hours of Bing Bongs. Bing Bong, Bing Bong. Like not even, I don't even wanna say it in like a stereotypical way, but it's 10 Motherfuckers on big xylophones and pots and pans going Bing Bong Bing. Oh, very advanced and choreographed. Bing Bong, Bing Bong Bong Bong Bong Bong Bong Bong Bong Bong Bong Bong. Yeah.

That sounds good. that sounds good. Yeah, I like it. At least bring a Kung Fu guy out or something. Yeah. Right? You can't put a, give me a Kung Fu guy on Craigslist to come out and just go like, yeah, chop, chop, chop, chop, chop, chop.

Like, give me something, give me something for 50 bucks, give me something. What the dick show would do? That's, you know what, Diego, right over to me. You can laugh, Keon. You're not the hi-ded. Hey, he's dying over here.

Diego, lean over, lean, cry. And he goes, Diego, lean over and goes, Hey, in his voice, I can't do his voice. Well, what do you think, like a, what if they had, imagine if they had a big projector, who says that's Diego?

Yeah. Oh, I do. Oh, I remember the thing, that's how they're like, projectile talks. Yeah, I'll do, oh, remember the thing, that's how it's there, it's like a projector. It's like a projector. Yeah, yeah. Oh, imagine if they had a projector

that would look, what do the volumin stuff back behind them? I'm like, yeah, man, that is, that would be great if this was a, if this was a road rage dick show, because if I got to watch these stone faced motherfuckers do any more Bingbongs, if I I gotta hear one more Bingbong, I'm gonna blow my fucking head off in the hole as soon as it started, I look down the road. Oh my God, I'm sorry.

I'm fucking, I'm not sorry. I told you, I told you. I told you. I'm not sorry, because I fucking have this contract right here indemnifying me of bullshit, indemnifying me of exactly what this is, which I fucking knew that it probably would be. Do they have booze there?

Yeah, but it's the theater. So it's not, so it's like a bar run by a grad student who's not an alcoholic. I like, and the world, a bar run by a non-alcoholic versus an alcoholic is worlds. It's not even the same thing. It's like, it's like the difference between a fries and an apple store. It's like the difference between an apple store and a pawn shop.

I need, I want to drink in a pawn shop. When I go to the apple store to drink, it might be 20 minutes before I get a drink. It might, if it will come in a glass that's made of shards of that plastic that shreds through your fucking lips. Yeah. But I knew the whole time I'm sitting there thinking this some motherfucker, some donor, somebody went to Tibet or something and they just fell in love with Eastern call. Oh, you mother. I know.

And they had to bring it back. Yeah. And fuse it and inflict it on the rest of us. So we can appreciate the culture. Right. Of Bingbong, Bingbong, nothing against Bingbongs. I like them when it's appropriate. Yeah.

But two hours of Bingbong, Sean. It's a lot of Bingbongs. That's a lifetime fucking lot of Bingbongs. You've been so close. You've gotten your fill of Bingbongs the rest of your life. It should be enough with the, I don't even know if this is culturally insensitive either to just say that Eastern music is not as good as Western music. Well, is that okay? It's okay to be insensitive against an entire half of the globe. It's subjective. So, no, but Bingbongs are not subjective. Okay. I see. I'm to you. But here's the thing. Everything Western Western martial arts are better. We didn't grow up with that.

Our ears are tuned to hearing different notes and things. So what? So, you know, I mean, I know that I haven't heard before. Different intervals, things like that. So like a pause. No, like relationships between notes and chords and things like that. But there was a fucking xylophone. I know what a xylophone is.

I know what you mean. You don't like the compositions. You don't like the compositions. They go nowhere. Yeah. Yeah, I mean, I'm bored to tears with most of that stuff. Oh, man. Oh, so embarrassing.

Yeah. And all I had to do was Google in advance and see any celebration of South Asian. No thank you. The teacher is performing. Yeah. So the Irishman's teacher was performing. Okay. And he was great, but it's ruined by the Bingbong.

Yeah. Well, it's, you know, a great performance of shitty material. So who gives a shit? I find, if there are dickheads in Asia, I find it hard to believe that they sit there just jamming out on Bingbong's all day. You know what I mean? Yeah. Because that's all you can make with a bunch of pots

and pans, Bingbong, Bingbong. I don't know, maybe I've gone too far in that one. Well, what other like, were there other stringed instruments or woodwinds and things like that? I mean, I imagine there were for the Eastern part. Well, something's gotta create the melodies, right? Just the, just the xylophone. So, and then the violins, which were great,

but they got to stick to the fucking Bingbong. Yeah, yeah. And just hearing it in the background is too much. I can't get the Bingbongs out of my head. Do you have anything that makes you rich, Keon? Oh. And they're all wearing outfits. Like they're all coming out in the eastern outfits.

Is that right? Yeah. And they got, I watched, I was watching HBO a long time ago. It's not just this thing either. Yeah. And for some reason, Jeremy Piven was doing like an Asian, an Asian special, like a real life thing redrobed through Asia.

And he's like, you know, I just, I visited Tibet and I just, I fell in love with the culture. Yeah. I canceled. It's a weird fetish thing. Where it's like, oh, look at this big Buddha head. Like yeah, that's like, you got a big crucifixion in your fucking living room, dude. Yeah, I don't know.

I don't know what you think that is. You got a giant religious symbol. Right. It's the fetishization that annoys me and the east all the eastern medicine shit. There was a guy Instagramming it in front of me and he goes he was typing his Instagram of the whole thing like the violence and all the Bingbong and all the gongs and, and he types out, I see him typing, bringing cultures. Oh, no, no, no, he backspaces and he goes harmonizing across cultures. Oh, boy. I leaned over in his ear and went, f-f-touch back. He looked around, he's like, who said that? I don't know, I don't know. I don't know. God said that. Yeah, God said that. Buddha said.

There was a lot of farting canaries in there too. I was that right? Jackrabbits, yeah. Like a cloud of farts. Yeah. Try to find, like if you're in a plane, you try to find that motherfucker too. Like who's doing it?

Who's doing it? And so I can thank them. Who's laughing? Who's who started the fart? Who's stifling a giggle? Yeah. Who started the farting in here? Cause I gotta thank you.iggle? Yeah. Who started the farting in here? Because I got to thank you.

Yeah. Because everyone was like, who's farting in here? I was like, oh man, I don't know. It's disgusting. But then I'm like, boi. Right? Yeah. On my own.

Yeah. Trying to match the flavor. Yeah. You don't want to add too much spice, because then people will know, the people you're there with will know that it's different. Yeah. And it's probably you. You've got to work in harmony, like the music.

And I was like, I'm a pro at the top of the screen. I was like, yeah, you've got to breathe it in. So it mixes with your own. Then you got to talk about meal prep, things like that, you know, I mean to... Yeah. Yeah.

That's about it. That's what I got on that, sorry. What makes you rage, Keon? Uh... Well, I don't know if this is gonna be a great rage, but I think it's a great story. Everyone listening, I'm sure you all know that Los Angeles is on fire.

And it really is, we're surrounded by fire, right? Yeah, it's a, I- It's awesome. Actually live in one of the places affected by fire. I mean, the fire came within 300 feet of my house. Whoa! Yeah, there are houses all in my neighborhood burned down, but- 300 feet. Yeah, really? Yeah, their house is all in my neighborhood burned down, but so.

300 feet. Yeah. Yeah, no, like on my way to work, I drive by burned down houses and like there's an entire hillside covered in just, now are you thinking, come on, baby, give daddy a new house, come on, fire. I was really hoping that it would come

and burn down my house. So I got these 100 year old California oak trees on my property, which they're beautiful. They're really cool. But you can't cut them down. It's against the law. It's like a $20,000 file. And they're very aggressive about it. Yeah, super aggressive, especially because this guy

in my neighborhood, anytime anyone goes and does any trimming, like which is legal, you're allowed to trim the branches if they're under two inches in diameter. But you're not allowed to nail a copper nail into it to poison it. That'll kill it. That'll kill it. That's right. You're not allowed to nail a copper nail into it. To poison it. That'll kill it. That's right. You're not allowed to do that.

No. But anyway, that's how you get the $20,000 fine in just a month's glasses. So I was hoping that it would come. It would burn down my house, because I got this shitty old like 1940s house that needs a lot of repair. And these two California Oaks on my property

that make it so I can't expand my house. If I wanted to, it makes it really hard to do any construction. But if the fire comes and burns it all down, I get a big fed insurance payment. I can build a better house. Yeah, and I don't got to deal with the goddamn trees. Build better trees. But the trees with tits on them.

Yeah, there you go. Just carve tits into them like the Game of Thrones face trees, just the tits trees. But then a stereo's face that would be bad. So we got, that's the future. Tits on trees, tits on trees, you heard it here. You heard it here. Dude, that's my prediction. People would love parks, national parks, we get all the fun.

Talk about tree hunters, everyone. Right? It's convert the entire world population or 50% of well, more. All the sex like tits too. Environmentalism becomes very important. Yeah, put some tits on those trees. It's all, it's the only cause. That's what they should put on the ad, tits on trees. Like, instead of like all the,

oh, donate to save our national parks, just like Photoshop, some big tits on the mountains. Oh shit, I guess. I know that's a joke. I know that's not real, but I have something about it. I gotta show out this morning. It's the lizard brain, man. You got to give that money out to the national parks. Yeah. Save the grand tea tons. Yeah, exactly. Appeal to the reptilian brain, right?

That's what all the good ad campaigns do anyway. Oh, but yeah. So when it came to the fire, I had to evacuate like five in the morning on Tuesday and I didn't get back in until Friday. But I woke up at like four o'clock on Tuesday and I smelled smoke very heavily. But it still didn't agree to me that there was a fire because why would I expect there to be a fire? Yeah. So I thought that like one of my neighbors had a fire in his chimney and he was cuddling on the couch with like his girlfriend or something and they were having some hot chocolate

or wine. It sounded in my head like the greatest little thing. So I just went right back to bed. Sure. And then like an hour later, less than that, like 445, I wake up and I hear my neighbor's screaming. And what you need to understand, my neighbors is a family of about seven Mexicans living in a two bedroom house.

So they're always yelling about something. They sound like 70 Mexicans then. One Mexicans can sound like hundreds of Mexicans. Well, they can do their own three-part harmony. Yeah. And all the whistling that goes on, it's really some way to communicate. We have a family whistle.

Yeah, that's funny. That is a Latin thing, isn't it? Wait, let me do it. It's a Mexican thing. Let me do it. My dad and my sister can do that obnoxious 110 days. That's what I pitched their lips and do. I don't know how anyone finger whistles or anything like that. fucking my dad and my sister can do that obnoxious like 110 days. I don't know how anyone finger whistles or anything like that.

Confuses the shit out of how do you shove your fucking fingers in your mouth and get that to come out my grandma can do it. My dad can do it. My sister can do it. I can't do it. And they she my sister rubs it in my fucking face anytime. Anybody does it. She'll give me that looks like.

Oh, yeah, that looked me that looks like, huh? Yeah. That looks like who got the Mexican jeans. Yeah. If anybody else has this, is their family wish? So I know there's a bunch of Mexican, it goes like this.

Oh, yeah. And they're all sliders. There's birds that, there's birds that call just like that. Yeah. I know that call. I heard it in my childhood. I get a matter here.

Actually, so I need to build a childhood. I heard it in my childhood. I heard it in my childhood. I heard it in my childhood. I heard it in my childhood. I heard it in my childhood. I heard it in my childhood. I heard it in my childhood. I heard it in my childhood.

I heard it in my childhood. I heard it in my childhood. I heard it in my childhood. I heard it in my childhood. I heard it in my childhood. I heard it in my childhood. I heard it in my childhood. I heard it in my childhood.

I heard it in my childhood. I heard it in my childhood. I heard it in my childhood. I heard it in my childhood. I heard it in my childhood. I heard it in my childhood. I heard it in my childhood. I heard it in my childhood. I heard it in my childhood. I heard it in my childhood. I heard it in my childhood. That's what it means. So what happened with all these seven Mexicans in the next door? So they're yelling. And I figured they're always yelling about something. So I just go back to sleep.

And then about 15 minutes later, he's helicopter is coming over my house. I'm just chilling real low. And I realize that my neighbor is just still yelling about something. And I hear the wife yell something that translates to, uh, no, no, leave the clothes, grab the blender and the dad responds, something like fuck your blender, grab the crib for the baby. Oh, and I'm thinking, okay, maybe, maybe there's something going on there. So I look at the window and I see the sky is orange.

So that's, that's, that's probably bad. That's probably where the smoke is coming from. We have the blender. Margarita's at any cost. You don't know how important they are, sure. Yeah, to our people. Sean. Yeah.

You're a chef. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, to our people. Sean, you're a staff. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, no shit. Yeah. Oh, yeah, you're the only white person. You and Madcuck. So the only white people in coach, the only white in Jamie or the only in Lacey probably.

Yeah. White people on the on the show. That's true. So the majority of people are affiliated with the show or white people. Okay. White people. Um, but, uh, so I go into my living room to see if I can see anything else.

And there's fire all fucking around the house. And I see this old guy walking around. What would you grab in a fire? Well, I grabbed what I did grab, which, yeah, pollers, I have those. I keep those on my phone, man. Yeah. God bless all my ex-girlfriends.

Those don't get deleted by the way, ladies. So don't send yeah, don't send those if you, if you ever expect you're going to break up with a guy. There's apps that exist just to store nudes. Yeah, a stereo says that. That's weird. I wasn't going to say that, but okay, in my case, a stereo doesn't have, I don't know, I'm making that up. But, yeah, so I grabbed what I, what I ended up grabbing after I talked making that up. But, yeah, so I grabbed what I ended up grabbing. After I talked to the sky, he's outside. I say, hey old-timers, he was like a 90-year-old man, bald-headed walking with a walking stick,

just in the middle of this giant conflagration. I say, hey old-timers, they're in evacuation order. He said, no, but you should get out anyway. So at that point, I had a federal hearing that morning, so I didn't have time to, you know, just run out of the house. I had to grab a suit and some shoes, which I did. That's what you grabbed? Yeah, just to see if you're a whole house? Out of my whole house, because, again, I wasn't thinking,

I saw this fire 300 feet away from my house. Like, well, can't be late to that hearing. So I just grabbed a suit. People had a jail. Yeah. Would you grab, Sean? If you had to grab one thing, probably a guitar. Yeah.

Right. I probably would. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. One thing. Yeah. Yeah.

I can't think of anything else that I couldn't easily replace or, you know what I mean? Yeah. You can get clothes anyway. Yeah, I mean, yeah, yeah. I probably grabbed the Dixho flag from down here. I mean, that set up a base camp. Yeah. Run it up a flag, pulls in a bottle of liquor. And I would just go through the street. Well, you get one thing.

Bottle a liquor. What if I bottle liquor? No, I would take the flag and soak it in liquor and then squeeze it into my mouth. How about that for you? Real fun, man. So you're safe now? liquor. No, I would take the flag and soak it in liquor and then squeeze it into my mouth. How about that for you? Real good. So you're safe now. Oh yeah. So I'm safe now. Anyway, I went to the office and it was friggin' weird, man. Just driving, driving from my canyon to get to the freeway was like the apocalypse. It was. I mean, there were like 25-air engines that came away all the way from Central Los Angeles. I mean, you saw one of them had the miracle mile written on the side and for people who don't know, that's like 30 miles away from my house. I hear that eventually got up to like 55 engines.

There were horses running free. I don't mean like people on horses. I mean, horses just gotten out. Horses riding people. Oh, yeah. Oh, it was down the four or five. It was a fedlem. Oh, they freak out and bust out of Corral. Yeah.

Yeah. They did. It was, it was really. I like when they start shipping the fireman in from different places and there's thousands of firefighters from other states. And they'll hang out at like the in and out, but where I grew up, acting like it's roadhouse. I'm close. All right. They're strutting around. Yeah. Well, probably don't have that out in their states too. Probably not. They're all excited. Why the universe has won her line of free hamburgers.

Okay. Oh, I'm sorry, your house didn't burn out. Yeah, me too. Yeah, it's like, nothing good could happen to me. Ever since this lawsuit got filed, just bad stuff that's been happening to me and nobody else. Nobody else. Nobody else.

I'm the one who can never look at Ken White in the face again because he now knows that I'm a fan of this show. All I was trying to do was to get free legal representation for Mad Gucks Mysterios. Now, I'm a deplorable morlock who gapes mouth, or stares mouth a gap at the shiny microphone or whatever. Yeah, it's real ranting with a shiny microphone. Yeah. Oh well, a genetic cul-de-sac.

That was actually a really good insult. That guy's great. Let's see, the dick store is now accepting bitcoins. So get yourself a hoodie before X-mas. You could buckle it if you want. A hoodie with no shirt. They're nice hoodies. They're nice hoodies.

They're great hoodies. I put one on after the show. They're surprisingly warm. You know what, they're so comfortable. I wear one on top. I wear one on my top. I wear one on my top, aren't they? And I wear one on my bottoms as well. We're okay, yeah.

So get yourself too. They're also really handsome. They're real, I mean, great hoodies. Yeah, great hoodies. I should have gotten one because another part of that story, I only grabbed one suit. I was wearing the same clothes for three days while it was evacuated from my house

and not allowed to go back. It was gross. And you didn't even get anything out of it. No, it didn't even get a new house out of it. Fucking bullshit. That's bullshit. Let me see here. Bitcoin's are accepted at the Dix store.

I'm trying to find a way to accept a madbox too. Oh my God. You know? Ha ha ha ha. Cosmetics sold all those madbucks for so much, saying that he would fulfill bonus episodes and a bunch of people got hooked. Yeah. He's just pocketed the money. Not how much he sold.

Too much. Without fulfilling. There's a year's worth of con. One is too much, right? Yeah, but he sold like a year's pass worth of mad bucks. The math doesn't add up. Is that right? Yeah.

You could buy it for like 24 bucks, but I don't know how to, I don't know how to make sure that I get the mad bucks, you could buy it for like 24 bucks, but I don't know how to I don't know how to make sure that I get the mad bucks You know Like if you get a if you get your mad bucks refunded Then show then then they you have them back then you give them to me if you can somehow assign ownership of the mad bucks to me I will trade you even the mad bucks to me, I will trade you even dickles for mad bucks. But it has to be before this date. I don't want people doing a bunch of weird bullshit.

It's got to be before the 10th. If you have them, if you have them and you can somehow assign them to me, I will make it right. Because it's a, it's a, I feel as though it's a fraud. It's been perpetrated on, on the fans of the biggest problem that were sold a bill of goods in the form of a season pass that was not fulfilled. Do you understand what I'm saying?

Well, I'm trying to do the right thing, Sean. If that was the premise of it, then, you know, you pay for a service or a good and you don't get it. You pay for a good that's not even very good in the first place. You get it? Yeah. Yeah. I do. Yep. And then it's not full and you don't get it.

I like 10 episodes of content where you talk about people making fun of you. How Maddox can't do that anymore because now he sues people that makes fun of him. So he's killed his own content. He's killed his own user generated content, but I will honor those, I will convert the mad bucks, but there's got to be a way to assign them to me.

You know what I'm saying? Yeah, sure. And I don't know how to do that. It's not bitcoins. They don't just track themselves. Right. Right. Probably poorly implemented too. Most likely.

Let me see here. Do I have E-Lay? Got some of the guys, some of the guys on Reddit found the manics of Mary too. What? Yeah. What? Yeah. You didn't know that?

Is that true? I mean, actually don't say that, but they found that. They found it. They're reporting that. On Reddit. He is Mary. Was? Was? Yeah. I don't say that, but they found it. They found it. They're reporting that. Unread it. He is married. Was married? Yeah, I don't know. I don't know where they found it.

They discovered that. They're claiming. Really? Yeah. Like a very early age? No. Somewhat recently. It's if you go to the Reddit,

you can find the thread on it. Very interesting. I feel like I'm missing key pieces of info. And I'm not going to give them to you. Well, good. Thank you. As a lawyer, just thank you for not giving that information. It's my answer, you know, public record though. Just my gut says that's not true, but you got to go look it up.

Okay. Do your own research. They found a lot of, they found a lot of strings. Really? Connecting to other documents and alloys and things. And things. Okay. I'm here I think.

Eli Arson, hey, welcome to the program. You are the man responsible for a stereosate, right? Yeah, I made a stereosate. Okay, can you give us a brief summary of the project and talk about its phenomenal success? Yes, I can. Okay, so a stereo save was made on Reddit. It was coordinated on Reddit.

I came up with the idea on a t-shirt thread to raise money for a stereo save. Yeah. And then I ended up coming up with the idea on a t-shirt thread to raise money for a stereo. And then I ended up coming up with the idea like on the spot and you can kind of see it in real time as I come up with the idea. And then I'm like, oh, I know what it is. I was like, I'm gonna make a t-shirt. And I'm like, wait, I don't know how to make a t-shirt.

I know how to make albums. So let's do that. Right. And then so I just started doing that and I started pulling in content and by, I don't know, it was like on December, November 19th. I started that and then by the first,

we had an album with 24 tracks. So good. I'm gonna play one of them here. You can get it at, what is it? EsteriosAid.com? Yeah, it's esteriosAid.com or give esteriosAids.com. Okay. You can go there and purchase that album.

How much is it? Either way, you win. Right now, it's at $9.99. You're welcome to give more to Maniacs on the past 12 hours gave $50 each. The highest individual purchase was for $69.69. Whoa. Nice.

Wow. I'm going to play one of the tracks from it. It's called, if I had 20 million Cuck Bucks. And this all goes to Stereo's legal defense. Great. There's nothing really inherently wrong with being a cuckold. This is great. There's nothing really inherently wrong with being a cuckold. This is great.

Great start. Man, you know cuck's. I'm gonna do one of the brauds. If Maddox had my $20 million, if I had $20 million, Maddox would buy my cool house. Totally. I'd buy it. It's pretty cool.

The house. If Maddox had my $20 million, if I had $20 million, I would buy my P pee hole with tampons. Tampons. Ah! Tampons. If Maddox had my $20 million, if I had $20 million, I could have menstrual cramps all day. I know exactly what you mean.

You. If Maddox had my $20 Ugh. I would be a tampon my fiehole Yeah, you made that point. I don't know what you're saying. I got to know why you're bringing that up again Sean no, no Yeah, Sean. What do you call Maddox's money? I don't know I'm cut bucks Oh, I'm exactly like that. If I had 20 million really well done, I think it's like $20 million in a cut-buck.

This is my cut-buck. I would cut-buck. I'm going to cut it. Hey, you told. Cut-o. Red Cuck's was a yeah. I know it's cut-dox. Now it's cut-buck.

Now it's cut-buck. If I had 20 million cut-buck. I would be the number one suggestion on Google when you type significant other, having sex with another person. Twenty million cock bucks. I would have had twenty million bucks. I would have had black. With the one that I'd never seen that I'd never been able to post to a lot of my

Johnny. The girl, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, cuck, cuck, cuck, cuck, cuck, cuck, cuck, cuck, cuck, cuck, cuck, cuck, cuck, cuck, cuck, cuck, cuck, cuck, cuck, cuck, cuck, cuck, cuck, cuck, cuck, cuck, cuck, cuck, cuck, cuck, cuck, cuck, cuck, cuck, cuck, cuck, cuck, cuck, cuck, cuck, cuck, cuck, cuck, cuck, cuck, cuck, cuck, cuck, cuck, cuck, cuck, cuck, cuck, cuck, cuck, cuck, cuck, cuck, cuck, cuck, cuck, cuck, cuck, cuck, cuck, cuck, cuck, cuck, cuck, cuck, cuck, cuck, cuck, cuck, cuck, cuck, cuck, cuck, cuck, cuck, cuck, cuck, cuck, cuck, cuck, cuck, cuck That's enough. That's enough. I'm buying that as soon as I get to it. I love it. A stereo say.com or give a stereo say. Zee Lay, you still there? Well done. Yeah, I'm still here. I just wanted to let everybody know that the album about $2,500 has been donated. And after the series still shaking me down for 600 bucks, $25, $25,000. Yeah, after fees, that's about $2,000.

And, and so, and I got it, and I got an email from Billboard yesterday, and it's like, they're like, yes, it's charted. So I'm now a Billboard charting record producer and handsome audio engineer. phenomenal. That's phenomenal. record producer and handsome audio engineer. Phenomenal. Phenomenal. So everybody is, everybody on here, including cut cooks, is now a billboard charting artist. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

How's everybody charting? So I'm so proud about that. This show. This show. This show. More billboard charting artist than any other podcast than any other podcast. The 20, I have the 22 million dollar man have launched more billboard charting albums than any other podcast that you have ever been on.

Maybe any other podcast. Amazing. Maybe any other. So the billboard charts were fresh on Tuesday. So you should be able to see that when the show comes out, when this episode is out. Okay. Um, so just look at the billboard charts, look where we're at in the comment, and they don't tell you, so I don't know where it's going to land.

But it's on there. So it's going to be exciting, and it's going to be out Tuesday. Yeah. What's the over under? What do you think it's going to be at? Well, it's only, they usually only do 10 on comedy, because it's like, I think it's going to be at least fun. Because it's a bullshit category. Yeah. You think it's going to be at least because it's a bullshit category.

Yeah. You think it's going to be five. I think it's at least five or higher. That's my guess. Okay. I don't know because we only sold about, they're only counting from the first to the seventh and we sold over 200, we sold about 250. We sold more since then.

So I don't know how long our staying power is going to be on the charts, but we'll see, you know, I'm gonna give all the stats out and give everything, you know, keep everything on the up and up because of just, and I've been, and a little bit of contact with the stereo. So I know how much like this isn't cover everything, but this like this takes a pretty good dent out of the legal fees. Oh, good. Sure it does. Good.

He's been like Howard Hughes. Yeah. Ever since the lawsuit hit. Right. Just reclusively spending $600 a day. Yeah. No, probably in porn in the hotel. Yeah.

He had to get his own hotel for some reason. Yeah. You don't want to stay with us in road rage. So he's probably just loading up. I mean, in hindsight, that was a great idea, but. Okay. Whatever. Sean. All right, thanks.

Hey, what makes you rage? What makes me rage? Well, I know booking shows is a big thing that makes you rage too. That makes me rage a little, that makes me more frustrated. Why? Booking is just a pain in the ass.

It's like no, it's like harder than having sex with somebody. It's a big, just nonsense. No, he's right. Ke's like no, it's like harder than having sex with somebody. It's a big nonsense. No, he's right. Keon is going, uh, like getting somebody to have sex with you is way easier. Oh, I saw you met the actual process of having sex. No, no, no, yeah, I said that weird. Anyway, yeah, just getting somebody to convince somebody to have sex with you is much, much easier to pull your show.

There's no method to it. It's just you got to know people and it's this it should be the simplest fucking thing on the planet. Hey, you got a room. Can I use your room? Well here. I'm gonna act like I've never done this before. You want to use our our theater? What did you call it? We call it a look at this, you are, look at this fancy Frenchman with his fancy, RE, Theotree words. We call it a box with chairs and it dude. Let's start there with your tone.

You're already off. It's impossible. I think booking shows and I keeping it music related, I don't like music journalism and press because like they're never going to cover this anomaly of a stereo say they're going to cover dudes that we destroyed on the billboard. Like who? Who do we destroy?

I don't know how to say his name is soft Jan Stevens we we we wrecked him. Yeah. Soft Jan Stevens. What is his kid? Soft Jan Stevens. Soft Jan Stevens. What a bitch. Wait, wait? Sofian Steven's, what a bitch. Wait a minute, wait a minute. You destroyed him.

Oh, we destroyed him on Bandcamp. We were number 10 overall. We were number 10 overall in the world on Bandcamp, Sean. No shit. For a week, for a week. And there's still number two in comedy, but yeah, it gets weighted. Every week it goes by, you have to make more sales

to keep staying top stay on top. But yeah. So they're covering his stuff and not a stereo save that's anomaly. It came out of nowhere. What the fuck? Well, he's covering that. He's had many credit records. He's covering that.

He's covering that. Here's the thing about music journalism is that one famous blog or press outlet covers something that all chase each other's tails and they all try to cover the same bullshit. You know what? Well, what did Frank Zappase say about he said music journalism is people who can't write interviewing people who can't speak for people who can't read. I mean, yeah, that sounds like Zappase. Sounds like Zappase.

That stuff makes me a rage just because it's like, I don't really hate the artist. They're covering it. I just don't like the way they, they're all like right to impress each other. It seems like not like anybody that cares. It's like a big dick second. So they're all trying to suck each other's dicks. And nobody could break their lip lock

or else, less their own dick, not be sucked. Yeah. So that's journalism. That's my, that's it. I wonder if we can hire a PR company for a stereo. I was like, how's that for irony? Yeah. Yeah.

Let me play that. Let me play that song. What's all the, how's that for irony song? Mm-hmm. Okay. How's that for irony? How's that for irony? How's that for irony, Sean? Hiring a PR company to promote Asteria's album.

Yeah, get it. I get it. I get it. All right, Elay. Thanks a lot. This is really great work. All right, thank you. I'm also MC Dumpfick, Alias name.

I already kind of got outed on that, so I'm just owning up to that. Yeah, wow. And L.A.R.S.N.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S an autographed copy of his toys for cheap book or his stereo's greatest hits. And then an invoice for it afterwards. And your own personalized five minute podcast. I hope he's done the things for me to become his handsome audio engineer. Oh, how handsome are you? Enough.

Are you better looking than Sean paired to a stereos? More than his stereos, maybe on par with Sean, maybe. I don't know. Sounds like we need some kind of a handsome off. Sean versus LA. How do you say your name? LA? LA Arson, yeah.

I'm Daniel, but you know, my band name's LA Arson. Oh, gotcha. Do you wear V-neck too? Or do you wear more the W-neck? No, I don't wear a deep of a V-neck. I'm usually more of a crew neck kind of guy, but I got V-neck stew. Two each, two each his own. As long as he's not a-

I wear black shirts all the time, you know? I wear mostly black clothes in general, but- Ooh, about black pants. Oh, I always have black pants, like black pants on and off. You're stacking on that. I guess so. You look like an old, funny dutty with your blue jeans. Blue jeans compared to LA. Yeah.

Well, there's a, yeah. All right, let's have a, let's have a handsome off. Yeah. Next, LA. I don't know. People can look up my picture and I don't know. I'm not gonna judge. That's just my, yeah.

Okay. Thanks for calling in. Thanks for doing this. I thank you. Have a good one. Bye. He didn thanks for calling in. Thanks for having us. Have a good one. Bye. You didn't want to call in because you didn't think he'd be exciting enough. No, no, I thought he was great.

After that, I mean, I mean, how could he not be exciting after that amazing album that he put out? He's no Maxwell Kimball. Yeah. Well, you know, everybody needs something to shoot for. Yeah, so it's for. Let's see, speaking of Kimball, I got two things. Kimball made a documentary of road rage, Chicago.

Oh, he did, did he? That's terrible. Well, because he didn't get in anywhere, or stay if he did get in. That's true. So I mean, how much footage could he have gotten? And CNN called me something, they called me a misogynist. CNN did.

Yeah. Which one do you want to see? Which one do you want to see? Which one do you want to see first? Um, let's do, I have a feeling there's going to be a discussion on the CNN bit. Why don't you, why don't you play Max? Well, Max will Kimbell's documentary. Okay. Yeah.

Here's Kimbell's documentary. I'm playing it on the, it'll be on the video on Patreon. So right there, we've got the marquee does not fit on the it'll be on the video on Patreon. So right there we've got the Marquit is not fit on the screen. Extremely well done. Maxwell Kimball. Los Angeles starts in Peru. Yeah, the Israeli film fund presents. Oh, Rakita and Gallagher production. okay? The Chicago. That's it. We're not, that's Kimbles. That's in the, the Dicumentary.

Yeah. I said, that's one of the dopey, you know, tests. We're doing, welcome to Brody Rage Chicago. How do you feel about being here? It's pretty good, you know. This documentary is a comprehensive look and everything that occurred on the day of Vroudrej Chicago.

And a gravel? And where are we again, Ra? We're in Chicago. What we're here for? We're here for... I forget. To begin the day, me and other members of the Dictuo Facebook group met up and headed to a steakhouse in Chicago, Gibson's.

Shortly before entering the restaurant, meaning in the rest of the game, met up with Kevin Owens and Scott Palmer. I'm just saying that I'm explaining to some good gentlemen. Kevin Owens here. Well, I'm trying to find, here we go. I'm just going to play this one part for you. And then I'm going to put this on the website so you can go see it. Yeah. How long is it? Eight minutes long.

It's very thorough. Very thorough look. Yeah, we can't say about Rod Reig. You can't just keep saying Rod Reig over and over and over. You can't just keep saying Rod Reig over and over and over. You can't just keep saying Rod Reig over and over. You can't just keep saying Rod Reig over and over. All right, all right, all right. All right, all right. All right, all right. So it's a good doc because I couldn't be there.

I really want to watch this, but who was that guy saying you can't say road ridge over and over again? Was he? I don't know. Law enforcement did he work for, uh, he was the manager of the bar next door for everybody went to pre-party about about 36 hours before the event. Yeah. Okay. Here's CNN. CNN was doing a hit piece on what they call alt tech. And it's all the people who don't deserve a platform. Because they're because they're offensive to some people. Yeah. Yeah. So it's a it's like a

expo's day on Cody Wilson. Yeah. Trying to make him look like an asshole. Running under the guys of under the guys of tech journalism. Yeah. Tech journalism. Yeah. Right. Let me pull it up. Very fake news CNN. It's really fucking embarrassing. It really is. I've seen this. This is one of the few things I've seen before the show. Okay, hold on.

You might have to clean this up a little bit. Yeah. Because their website is dog shit. Yeah. CNN's website is harder to use than mine. Oh, the following has explicit language. And content that some viewers may find extremely offensive or disturbing. Oh, the following has explicit language. In content that some viewers may find extremely offensive or disturbing.

Good God. What does it speak? All kinds of consequences. This is evident. You need book is in the right hands like a grenade. This can't be controlled and you shouldn't try to control it. The backlash has begun. Companies like Google, Facebook, and Twitter, Apple Delima.

There is no reason in this world for so much of this information to be going across these platforms. On one hand, they're fighting violent content, removing terror as propaganda, and trying to combat harassment on their platforms. But they're also walking a delicate line between censorship and free speech. And increasingly, some people think they've gone too far. The sphere of people who aren't allowed to some people think they've gone too far. This sphere of people who aren't allowed to use our platforms anymore is getting broader and broader. And there I am.

It's something to do. You know what, actually, you know what really sucks about, so you remember how is ranting a while ago about how your house won't let you in? If you fuck up and like your TV won't let you watch it or your cell phone will just shut off, it's like, well, we don't want to be, we don don't wanna let Dick Masterson use our Samsung products or our iPhone products.

We don't support, we don't support the yelling in his girlfriend he's doing on his phone. So we're cutting them off, right? Magic the gathering of all companies but it was in a warning to a guy because he was in a Facebook group about memes. So I said, no, no, if you continue this behavior, we're not going to let you play magic to fucking gathering online.

So I used to play magic gathering at like comic book shops when I was in high school and middle school. And nice. I am sure every single one of those kids I played with is either listening to the show or is the kind of person who would listen to the show. I play. Yeah, exactly. where every single one of those kids I played with is either listening to the show or is the kind of person who would listen to the show. I play. Yeah. Yeah. Exactly.

But I said that Lord of the Pit on your ass, man. Ooh, better than sex. I bust that thing up, get my threll deck out, slap that Lord of the Pit, that look on your guys, on some guy's stupid face when he's staring down the barrel of a Lord of the Pit. Mm, nothing like it. Greatest feeling in the world. Greatest feeling in the world.

Greatest feeling in the world. Better than sex. Make a beautiful, little man orgasm. Nothing. I just see the Lord of the Pit right in her face. Oh, fucking pit. Let me show you this goblin pile driver. I'm down there eating her out,

looking at the Lord of the Pit. Oh, yeah, look at you. You bastard, I'll make you come. Shoot throws everywhere. Yeah. But play a little, it sounds like something that it's just gonna end up as a self correcting market problem.

I mean, people are just gonna stop using these fucking services if, if, what are you gonna, what are you gonna play? Digimon, how are you gonna not use magic? We're gonna play you, yo. Yeah. Poor huh, man. Sucks, it's in everything now.

And there's more on onnn is part of the fucking about de platform her fucking ass yeah about that how about we just have no rules at all anymore let's go straight back to might makes right talking about de platforming bitch we have the president is this the time you want to talk about de platforming people oh you know what? Uh, CNN is not illegal to see CNN by executive order. Ha ha ha ha! Go arrest every single fucking one of them.

Fuck it. Fuck the Constitution. Fuck the First Amendment. It was, yeah, you're right. It was a living fucking document, and now it's dead. Because you fucked around too much. Because you fucked around too much. Cause you fucked around too much with this shit.

Calling me your old left phraseology made up words like misogynist. Is that when you play a lot of misst, that old computer game? Yeah. Yeah, I love that game. I'm gonna skip right to it. It's too fucking aggravating.

Where am I? Six, here we go. They're going over all the dirt bags. All the dirt bags are too outrageous to even live, Sean. I know. I gotta have my, I gotta be de-platform from DNA. When Monsanto finally patents the human DNA, I'm they're gonna de-platform my fucking ass.

Oh, Dick, you've been using, you're not allowed to use DNA anymore. These thoughts that you're having come straight out of your corrupt DNA, you're fucking done. Good luck living without DNA, you cock sucker. They're gonna send it to you in an email. Yeah. Hey, we've decided that you're no longer, that you're access to our patented DNA is no longer in line with our company's mission statement. Therefore, we will be removing it. Therefore you're dead. And you are dead before you get this email.

We just, we just mailed it to nobody. We mailed it to your next of kin. Here it is. Do us one of your servants. I think you know, it's one of the worst trolls on the internet. He's a good get for you. I think so. Just remember that that narrative, okay?

Well, Mr. Spencer, I think, is considered a pretty successful cultural troll. Keep in mind, Richard Spencer's ideal is to have a white ethno state. What the fuck? Well, he doesn't align himself with all their world views. His hatred, Leon. Wilson is enabling what he calls the political speech of these characters. He's taking a cut, too.

He gets 5% of every dollar raised on hatred. Now, my service was never meant to be like a professional or serious one. It's name tells you that. That's true. It seems like already. There's over 1,500 patrons. There's almost 200 creators. There's over $7,000 in revenue every month now.

I mean, this is a little more important. Look at how poor he is talking to his stupid chick. But among those people, here we go, are people expressing the side in this? And white supremacists? There he is! Ideologies. The fundamental question is... Oh, you get that again. 1500 patrons. There's almost 200 creators. Uh-huh. There's over $7,000 in revenue every month now. I'll be quiet for this more than just telling them to pop you at this point.

But among those he calls trolls, are people expressing misogynist and white supremacist ideologies? The fundamental question is, should these people get a platform? Ah, the Dixiel, Mitch. Should get her on there. Should these people get a platform? Oh, the Dixiel, Mitch. Should get her on there. Should these people get a platform? Yeah. Should these people be allowed to talk essentially? Should these people be allowed to have ideas? People leave that

other people what there are, what their ideas are. Shoot this fucking idiot into the sun. It's just it's it's it really is aggravating. Yeah. It really is aggravating. It's been happening to my whole fucking life. Yeah. Yeah. It really is aggravating. It's been happening to me my whole fucking life. Yeah, yeah, it continues I guess. Always, it's all, this is always what it is.

The eternal fight of people just minding their own business and people who think that, people who think that there's any kind of system at all, that this is something we can decide to have. No, you stuck on the planet with me. Stop trying to kick, stop trying to kick us off. Every time, we got to kill that guy, he's talking too much. No, no, we're not barbarians anymore.

We don't kill people for having a different opinion. We just virtually kill them so that they can't talk anymore. God. Okay, let me get Tanner on here. Hey, Tanner, are you there? Yep, I'm here, can you hear me? Yeah, this is the top gay. This is the dick shows top gay.

Oh. He was there. Someone's got to do the fucking job. Someone's got to do the fucking. That's his motto. Tanner shows up at your house. Hey, somebody's got to do the, job. Someone's got to do the fucking. That's just motto. Yeah. Tanner shows up at your house. Hey, somebody's got to do the, I'm TDS Top Gay.

Somebody's got to do the fucking. There you go. How's my audio? Does it sound great? Sounds great. Hey, thanks for coming to the show. I have no problem, man. Thanks for fucking having the show.

He's got a crown that Jim Schmance made him. That says TDS Top Gay. Wow. He's wearing it all all around Tanner, I forget why you wanted to call in but I do remember that you said you were getting between Kimble and Peach at the show. Thank you for protecting her. Oh Well she can protect herself, but before we go down, I want to correct one thing. Okay, Jim printed the crown But Sean Simon from Australia from Australia made the design. So he's a clever at that part. Okay. And he's the one that made your guys as a flashlight wax cubes. Oh, those are great. Yeah, those are great. Yeah. Yeah, I was very lucky between the two of them,

but yeah, fuck Kimble. The sadder were even giving him more attention. But I know he's just sitting somewhere masturbating with a Palestinian flag. Yeah. I'm looking at my chat windows to see what we wanted to talk about. Oh, I was just given, I was calling in about a road rage and the calendars and Astero's, Sriracha just holding his balls the whole night. It was, it made me so sad to see that person. Wait a minute. What? What was the last part?

Oh, Astero's. Sriracha had his balls and her purse the entire time. What do you mean? So sad. Why? Well, okay. So, you know, one, one thing about the TDS, TDS top gay is I have anything you guys will ever need. You know, I got my co-pockets are like, grandma's purse, anything you need I got.

So, of course, I had the weed with me for the show with coach and a couple of people and the stereos walked up and I said, hey, just so you know. Hey, will you invoice coach for that weed, by the way? Oh, of course. We'll do it. Just give him any contact key on. Yeah, just email Dixia Lawyer at Gmail. Dixia Lawyer at Gmail. Yeah, exactly.

Thank you. You spent and we'll get you in on the class action. Yeah, no problem. You know, if he is, if we're playing the invoice game, we're playing the fucking invoice game for Kebes. We're gonna be, we're gonna be lots of invoices flying around. An invoicing society is a polite society. And I even have my own order head.

So it's gonna look all official and everything. You have your own letter head? It's time to say it. I'm a professional. Come on now. I'll take you to the J. Okay, so what did you see Ashtereo's doing with her hatchet that makes you say

she had his balls in her purse? Well, basically he walked up and I was like, hey, just so you know, if you need some weed tonight, I'm your guy. No, you know, just let me know. And his eyes lit up like a kid at fucking Christmas. And he's like, really? I mean, you tell.

That might be the first time anyone's seen his stereosis eyes. They opened. They opened. They opened. It was fucking great. He looked so excited. And he goes, wait, like seriously?

And I'm like, yeah, whenever you want, I got it. Okay. So like right now, like we could go right now and go smoke weed. And I was like, yes, a serious week. And he goes, okay, let's go. Yeah, that's right. Uh-huh. So he started walking down the street and he's rolling his little suitcase. And all of a sudden, got to be a little suitcase. I hear a small, in the background, background going just scream, hey, I'm then all of a sudden return around. I'm like, what the fuck? And she comes lurking

out of the shadows. Yeah. Working out in the shadows. Didn't even see her at first. Maybe job and she, uh, she goes, where are you going? And he goes, oh, we're, uh, we're gonna, we're gonna go smoke some weed. She goes, no. Really? What? And he was like, he was like, what? And she goes, yeah, this guy said he's got some weed. She goes, no, we're going to go in there. It's warm inside and points to the bar. This is going to start off you. And he looks at me. And he looks at me. And he looks at

her and he goes, sorry, buddy, she's in charge. And then we just turn around and walk into the bar. And I was like, all right, whatever. Oh, no, can you, how's your boxing? Can you box? I'm pretty good. I can box. I think this might end up in a ring.

Uh, I'm sorry. I could take him. Oh boy. Sixth degree black belt in boxing. Second degree black belt in boxing. Second degree black belt, Taekwondo. I can't even get one.

I got gets than him too. I'm his. Are you talking about the McDonald's one? Right. That's the follow up. Wow. We'll see. Alright.

What nuggets you got? Well, gosh, I don't know. I guess we'll wait for him. We're waiting to see from mysterious. To see if that story's true. And I say all this was, it was saying, you know, I love this, you know, I support in this whole time. I think he's a great guy. He just made me very sad to see in that moment that the decision was clearly not his to

me. Maybe it's not the whole story. All right, Tanner, what makes you rage? Fucking Chicago dickheads, you can't get their fucking shit together. Oh my God. I mean, not that I didn't mind setting up the events for Friday and McGee's all that kind of stuff. But man, I got there and I assumed someone was going to be in charge from the local chapter of the dick show. I figured someone was going to step up and do something.

But nope. No, it's on you, man. If you're thinking that, it's you. You organized all that? Friday night. Yeah, I did. Oh, thanks. Yeah, that was fun. Thanks, man. Yeah, no problem. Thanks, man. A couple, I mean, fucking, I fucking Google search, man, it's not that hard, guys. You guys live in this town.

You should fucking know where to go. That 50-some odd people can go and sing cucks in the wind. And God knows what else. And it's not going to be a fucking issue. We were cursing your name when the karaoke started. But the dickheads took it over. That's right. And it was great.

It flipped the script on me. Yeah. Yeah, we were the best performances. We had the best performances. We had the most enthusiastic performances. Without a doubt. I got into an altercation with a guy. Yeah, you fucking did.

I remember I was saying right there, fuck that dude. Yeah, it was cool. There was a bunch of this party of dudes dressed like 80s guys were being disrespectful. So I got to get in there. You motherfucker, you thought I thought I'd get in there. It looks super, they look super fucking preppy, too. They look like they just came from there.

And they're fucking formal. Yeah, so they were dressed like the villains from an 80 movie? Yeah. And we were dressed like the bad guy. Or the good guys. That was great. They look like the kids whose parents own a yacht. Yeah.

They really did like their, the kids that you, you look at and you just want to punch right in the face. Yeah, he was being disrespectful. And then the bouncer was going to go deal with him, but he wasn't dealing with him hard enough. So I got in his face. And then the bouncer, he left on his, he said, I'm leaving. He's like, dude, I'm leaving, I'm, I'm, I'm just, Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, The balcers says this to me, I never been thanked by no bouncer.

Yeah, totally. God, I hope that made it into the documentary. All right, I doubt it. Tanner, who doesn't get in the bar. We'll see you in Portland, okay? All right, see you, buddy. I'm gonna have to help out. Oh, wait, before I go, forgot.

Facebook calendars are gonna be up soon for pre-order. Okay, so look out for that information. Okay. Cool. Thanks, buddy. All right, mate. See ya. All right, let me get Izzy on the horn here. So in my mind, Asterius was dressed as crocodile dundu

that whole time, which makes it so much better. Yeah. Well, I'm trying to bait him into calling, by the way. Huh? I'm trying to bait him into calling in. I don't know if it's working. Find out next week. All right, is he there?

Yes, I am. Can you hear me? Yeah, what's up, man? How you doing? Is he really wanting to be called in? It's been a while. He's asking me. I really want to call in this week

because I have something I want to talk about. Yeah. Yes. So I was listening to the show last week when you guys started going on about dildos and sex toys and such. And I realized I'm in a position to offer some help because I'm one of the few,

I mentioned this on the email of the dick. I think I'm one of the few straight men that know a whole lot. Like, saying dildos and things like that. There's not that many around. This is not a skill set that I can use at work. Why the hell you know so much about dildos and things like that. There's not that many around. This is not a skill set that I can use at work. Why the hell you know so much about dildos? Right, so a few years ago, I found myself working

at a porn shop. Those still exist surprisingly. Yeah, who goes into them? I don't know. Weir people, really weird people that don't realize that there's naked women on the internet for free, I guess. Do they wanna have the interaction? Like is it a friendly, I guess. Do they want to have the interaction?

Like is it a, is it a friendly experience for them? Do they make friends with the people working there? Yes, we, we had people come in that, here's my theory for a long time, right? I, I think that, especially for old people, this probably holds more true than for the younger people. The experience of like looking for something that you want on the internet is something that you and on the internet is something that you and I were used to, but older people, they just, they like to go to a place that

has shelves and they can pick something up and look at it and put in a little bag and then walk to the other corner. You know, like, I think that's something that people are coming into sex stores. There's always one, there's only one in every town. But not in Calgary, man, there's quite a few here. Really? Yeah, but they are, I recently visited the place where I used to work and I saw that they downgraded a lot of the porn and sex toys to offer like vaping,

like weed perfornalia, that kind of stuff. So maybe it's kind of in the down, maybe people finally caught on that there's naked women on the internet. Oh God, dammit, you're still cutting out. I think he paused right there. Oh, for fuck's sake. Nah, I did pause for a second, but I think it was.

My connection seems like, I wish that it was like the old video store rental days where there was the red door. Gawfin? Yeah. And you could wander, like you didn't have to ask that. People would ask that. But you didn't have to make the decision to go to a pornostore.

Like you could go shopping and get just a little bit of porn. It could be an impulse buy. You're going to like pick up like die hard and then you see, because they used to have a little corners. I'm not sure how it was in the states in Brazil in the 90s. It was like a corner. There was separated from the rest of the story by a little curtain. Yeah, and you will always try to pee.

So you come for die hard, but you leave with die hard. Yeah, you come for die hard. But you, yeah. And you'd always catch like somebody walking out of it and then try to slow down and do the old lean back step to see if you could get a glimpse of those covers in that sweet, sweet, porno corner. That doesn't exist anymore. It doesn't exist. Is the poor on corner, the whole internet. It's too much to have to actually make the decision

to go to a store and park and get out of your car. What if somebody sees me in here? And the sex toys are always like, it's always, it's never, they're always in a box, because you don't want a dildo that somebody touched, but then it's like, well, I need to touch it to see what the wigglingness is of this thing. So you do that and then you ask them to get you a new one from the back.

Who knows what that, who knows what that could result? The thing we had to do because as you can imagine strict no refund no return policy right though people surprisingly believe it or not people actually ask people would come back with sex wise that have been open and say you know this isn't strong enough this didn't work or whatever and I would tell them that you're you I would pause to like I'm not sure like are you joking so do I respond like this is ingest do I have to point at the sign and then explain the very basic notion of where you are and why you can't return a 10-inch dildo

so try to return something like who's who somebody specifically that tried to return something that you remember specifically I look at this story is the one that I always tell my friends when they ask me about sex shop stories. Yeah. A guy came back, right? And it was this, I still remember this. It was a Bella Donna vibrating butt plug. It was pink.

It was shaped like the Ace of Spades. It's swear to God, right? Like pink and black box. He brings it back. The box is like torn at the top. Imagine you're trying to make like craft dinner and you just rip the top of the box and like, you know, you're so excited to get at this butt plug. I just tear it and see what I'm doing.

I've been waiting all day to get at this, get at this spade shaped ass plug. I gotta get something in there, A-Zam. So he brings it to the, to the, to the counter and I swear I could see the box glistening with the anal loop that he probably used. Oh, yeah. So he's, I swear to God, not a word of this like,

I swear to God, he's like, do I, can I get a refund? Cause this like worked for like, I think like half a second and then it stopped. I'm not sure. I'm like, okay, I'm, first of all, I'm not touching that. You are in a porn shop, whenever we sell these things,

we let you know as if it's needed. That you can't bring these back. These have been inside your ass. You can't bring this back. Yeah. So the guy's like, the guy gets all huffy and puffing because I guess most people expect It's needed that you can't bring these back. These have been inside your ass. You can't bring this back. So the guy's like, the guy gets all huffy and puff because I guess most people expect that they can return to anything

because that's usually how it is, right? I'm sure. If I go and this is the best part because he goes, if I go to like one of these like hardware stores, if I go there and I buy a drill and it doesn't work, I can bring it back. And I said, I guarantee you that if you put that drill in your ass, it's not.

I'm not going to bring it back. I guarantee, if you tell the guy to the guy, I'm bringing this to put it in my rectum, they will not let you bring it back. And the guy was all mad, the guy called to complain. Yeah. Sometimes to try to bring it. And here's the thing, one of the mechanisms we developed to prevent people from bringing these things back is we test their dildos for them in front of them. Explained. My procedure. I mean, I'll clean my hands in front of you so you know that there's no like

easy germ is on your butt plugs or whatever. So we throw some batteries and turn it on, put it on the counter so that we hear the vibration. So you see Dix flopping around on a countertop. I'm like, last. In a case case obviously this works Right. Oh, does that suit your pleasure, sir? Yeah, this is a wiggling around enough for you today, sir Well, this we want to you want me to box this back up, or you want to wear it out?

Nice. Yeah Good time. How long do you work at this porn? Oh the store years? I did a couple of videos about this on my YouTube channel. I'm actually writing a book about this, this is not a plug, the book is in Portuguese, so. But yeah, I'm writing a book about this, about my period, because I do so many things happen there. I was robbed at Axe Point when I worked at this shop.

A guy got killed outside of the store, and I was called to be at like a witness. With a dildo? Wow. We got to identify this deal though. We need Dildo expert is you know, break the coming to court. Yeah, expert witness. Why do you get killed? I'm sorry. How did the guy get killed? Stomp by neo Nazis believe it. Okay. Yeah. Not so funny. Right. Are they on Hey, Ian?

Maybe I don't know, one of them got life, so I don't think they can get that in jail, in Canadian jail. Okay, so you got a book coming about out about your Dildos stories. Yes, the sex shop chronicles is gonna be called in Portuguese, of course. Huh. You from Brazil?

Born and raised, did I cut out there for a second? Yeah, I was cutting out. Yeah, now it's the gate. I'm 100% sure. No, I just, I wasn't sure if he's from Brazil and to Brazilian Portuguese or I immigrated to Canada in 2003 and I've been here ever since. Oh, all right. What makes you rage?

Laundry is such a fucking chore, right? Hey, man. Can you greet? It's that fucking cutout is driving me insane. We lost the first half of what you're saying laundry. Can you? laundry. Yeah, check out your settings on your on your thing and just see if the input sensitivity is.

Yeah, I can. Oh, that all the way up. While we're waiting, I think I'll try that my lord now if you think it'll fit. Um, yeah, let's well, while Izzie's coming back, let's let Keon try the my lord. We're making reach to this disgusting liquor. All right So this is supposed to be what like the special local liquor of Chicago. I don't know. Yeah, it's what they they love it I don't know what it's from sweet. It's on the it's on the shelf of undrinkable liquor right next to the military

All right next to the military vodka. Thank you. Which I don't know why they're drinking so Smells a bit like orange chello. Somebody described it as a used Q-tip dipped in grapefruit juice. Well, now I'm excited. Yeah, I've heard it's a very special kind of bitter. It's terrible. My man said that we had some a burning man, I don't even remember. We went to a disgusting liquor camp. Oh, that was like full of frenets and whatever it's called. Great.

Frenets and now. It feels fun. Okay, take a shot. Take a swig of that. Completely warm. That was a very dainty swig, Keon. Let's get a big. Yeah. Oh, God. My tongue is curling up into the back of my throat. Just looking at it. What do you think? Taste fine. Taste fine? Taste fine. Taste fine. Yeah. Oh my god.

It's kind of like monster. What a monster. I don't know. They say it's made of, Sean, didn't you say this would made out of wormwood? That's supposed to be. It's a root base, it's a root base liquor. Yeah. I mean, so I drink a lot of absinthe, which is also made out of wormwood.

So it's just like a more bitter acid. Yeah. It's actually pretty good like that on the rocks. It smells like out. It just smells like booze. Yeah. Wanna try some, Sean? Sure.

No, I don't. I'm good. Huh. 70 proof. It's bitter taste is savored by two fisted drinkers. I guess I'm too busy. You got a fisted drinker now. Yeah.

Good for me. Hmm. Oh, well, fuck it. We lost them. All right. I wanted to thank him for doing that mundane mat video, that anti-mundane mat video. It's stupid asshole that gave a objective, quote, objective review of the lawsuit,

but just believed Maddox because he's his friend. I mean, there's never objective. There is no such thing as objective in this universe. Yeah. Okay, everybody, that is, that's all we're gonna do today. I got a bunch of voicemails.

Let me see, I've got some presents here. I gotta thank Peach sent me some flowers after a road rage. That was nice. Oh, nice. So we gotta think Peach sent me some flowers after a road rage, that was nice. Oh, nice. So we're getting flowers. Yeah, we have flowers as a man. No, I don't think so.

It was great. I put on a dress and I was singing, whistling around the house like snow white all day after I got them. It was cool. I gotta think, I gotta think, whoever, who sent me this New York spoon? Somebody sent me a bunch of spoons here. I gotta think Carrie Grove

Send me a big big old poster. She's getting the calendars ready for the Dix show girls Tom Henning, I think sent me a New York spoon. I hope it was anyway if it wasn't Sorry, let's see. I think that this one I opened I think we opened this one from Hong Kong Well, I don't know who that one might be. So I'm sorry. Thanks. I love all these things are coming in. I've also got to thank Dave Gamble from Illinois for the maloort. It's like the bottle of maloort. Thanks to challenging.

Yeah. Thanks, Dave. Thanks, Keon for coming in. Oh, thanks for having me. And you got any, you got any advice for people out there about taking the law into their hands and don't. But if you do call me. There you go. Take the preferably if you have to do it somewhere where I can practice. Okay. The song is by Tavvy. Dixha's theme. He says what makes me a rage of the people who block the train doors and try to get in before you get a chance to get out. Oh, here we go by Tavvy.

Thanks for listening. See you next Tuesday. Thedickshow.com Dick.show patreon.com slash the Dick show shop.dick.show for those hoodies. Get two or one on the top, one on the bottom. Zipper doesn't chill your, this is the zipper doesn't chill your tits out either. Some kind of guard inside. You want to buckly, it keeps you from being too cold. People who block the train doors and try to get in before you get a chance to get out. What's the hurry? The train won't leave any sooner. If you squeeze your way in like an asshole. Great intelligence test. Every door, it's got a vaporizer on it. And if you crowd, you get fucking vaporizer. Yeah, that's it. That'll learn you. That'll learn you. That's

how we just need, we need one term of a super villain president to fix everything. One term, executive order. Hey, if you crowd subway cars, you're getting fucking vaporized. Yeah, boom For it you'll go to jail. He'll still get taken down But everything will be fixed. He'll be like the new Jesus super villain Jesus All right, let's listen to some voicemails This is Matty P on the road and I can't stand it when people play in rock paper scissors shoot on three. It's rock paper scissors shoot end of story. Yeah.

It's true. Yeah. You do it like that, right? Yeah. This isn't another one of those stupid over the fly debates, is it? I don't think so. Everybody does rock paper scissors shoot. I thought that's how you're supposed to do it. Otherwise, you get it.

Otherwise, you're gonna do more scissors because you're ending on scissors and saying scissors and probably putting out scissors. People who want to end on scissors are trying to trick you into doing scissors so they could do rock. So you're saying, I mean, it's on the four, right? One, two, three, shit, right?

Yeah, so yeah. Rock paper scissors shoot everyone does. Right, right. Anyone who does and is trying to perpetrate something on you. Yeah. Hey, I got a national race for you, not just the joke. You know, if this was me off man, Wikipedia, I'm always trying to get you to give them money. I'm not upset that they want money because that's fine. I get that. But if I said no the last time, you asked me for the annoying message, one of the things you think I'm gonna say yes when you give me any of the bigger

More obnoxious message that make I'm it's harder for you to get rid of I don't I don't want to eat you money. I'm sorry. I don't I don't even value what you do enough to pay you Don't even value it. Oh To me actually great another another way to build that I don't give a shit i got here by accident quick fucking asking me right like fucking say the truth to you something on my my browser that is this guy is a feature schedule on paper doesn't care right i don't i don't fucking care actually actually has contempt for a week of media and they're making me like a fucking email on a computer

there you go you should be for us because I don't know we can't get Yeah, you know it's not like Maddocks, right? We don't one West Coast on our ad on our website right there Are we so great don't you want that to keep happening money please? No, I don't give a shit run ads fuck you I use ad luck or anyway, doesn't affect me. Yeah, co-nots actually fill the whole page with ads See how it works for you. Use Wikipedia at all. I love it. You love Wikipedia?

I mean, just because of the interesting article, you know, things on the pages on it. Yeah. You ever go down the Wikipedia rabbit hole? Yeah. It's fucking great, man. Yeah, I hate Wikipedia, though. I love it.

I hate everything they stand for. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, because the second I look the second that that stupid ass Jimmy Wales popped up on there. Wow picture. I was like, I'll fuck you. You're a text. You're a bunch of texts that people wrote who are obsessed with this shit. Well, that's like stuff that they would absolutely do for free because you know, you didn't land on the fucking moon. The's a text editing thing.

You're not creating some great resource that people didn't do for free. No one's an expert here. It's a coincidence that this is useful. You know what they use that money for, by the way? No, I don't. Doing shit like launching initiatives to equalize, first of all, they have plenty of money.

It's a website. Once it's done, it's done. They don't need millions of dollars to do it. They just let people who are obsessed with this shit endlessly edit and re-edit each other. They don't need any money. Tons, they have plenty of money. They use all that shit to do initiatives like

there's more mail to the male to female editors is eight to one. So we're investing in reorganizing, we're investing in revamping the editing system to make it more visual and friendly to female editors. Literally something we cappedia is blowing your money doing. Okay. Why they have big black fucking ads over every page for a month out of the year. Yeah, I always, yeah, it's tough not to notice when that comes around. Fucking hate that.

The time is now, isn't it? I've, and that, yeah, did they have it now? Is it up right now? Let me see. I noticed it the other day. Let me see here. Weekypedia, Weekypedia, Wikipedia, ask Godlings. Oh, okay.

Okay, that brings up Cameron Price. Mm-hmm. No, it's not a price. Cameron Pierce. Cameron Pierce. I probably have it blocked. The two was born in 88. Pause, add blocker.

Donate to Wikipedia. All the Wikipedia Wikipedia the Wiki media foundation The Wiki media foundation god damn it. I don't know they don't know To all of our readers red borrower this fucking thing It looks like war was declared on the the front page of, dude, I'm just here, I'm just here because I want to correct somebody on, I'm just here to argue with somebody on Reddit, okay? Fuck off. I don't need, time it.

We depend on donations, averaging about 15 bucks. Ah, the cell. We depend on donations to keep running. So what do you do do everybody made this shit. The price of your Sunday coffee if everyone reading this gave three dollars we can keep we could beat you thriving for years to come i hope infinity to come. How often do you need to pass around the coffers to keep a text file online. Give me a fucking break the price of your Sunday coffee is all we need. When I made Wikipedia a non-profit, people warned me I'd regret it.

And I do. I wish there was some way to give a reverse donation to some things, like an anti-charity. It was called stealing. Oh yeah. I wish there was a legal way. Do you know anything about that? To give an audience a first donation to people.

What's the legality of that? Is it generally frowned upon? Yeah, generally frowned upon. But if you get elected to office, I hear you can do it. Oh, okay. Well, that's, yeah. Like carbon credits, I can just go put my, put the car on Cinderbox and leave a pet, leave the pedal on all day. Say, cruise control at 70. Yeah.

Just leave it till tank runs out of gas. Okay. Oh, a 10 bucks of carbon credits? No problem. I could take care of that in an afternoon. Somebody giving carbon credits. This, I don't know how to stop people from giving to Wikipedia.

And that's a stumper. Yeah, that's a stumper, Sean. Probably involves opening a Patreon account though. The anti-Weekipedia. I don't know what, I'm gonna go, every time I see, I'm gonna go give to Encyclopedia Dramatic. I love that. Yeah, that is the site that I like.

It's so funny. I enjoy reading it. It's fun to read. It is. They don't shove this obvious lie in your face about begging for, about needing money ever. It's so funny. Do you have an entry on there?

No, I hope not. Yeah, you know what I'm on there. Do you? Oh yeah. Oh yeah. It's awesome. I'm sure. It's less all the stuff we've done on the show.

Oh really? Yeah, the guy almost killing himself on the show and charting billboard. Twice now, motherfuckers, you gotta update. They're thorough. The big show, this is Andrew end of the organ when they see rage is when you're woman gets too long now there's

yeah forty-one that's why what women to be right because they they'll pull up with it though the top of the unit and how they would have a lot of fun but they're not you know that they're not sex craze uh... when they're sex cra know they're not sex crazed uh... when they're sex crazed sometimes you get out you get a lady disgusting

who is thirsty she needs it sometimes you want to but i like i'd like to have some i don't want to be able to get emails especially gress or not and uh... and i sometimes it's like uh... well i mean as a man you walk away from such a opportunity if you should never do that I mean, you know, I mean, you know, I mean, you know, I mean, you know, I mean, you know, I mean, you know, I mean, you know, I mean, you know, I mean, you know, I mean, you know, I mean, you know, I mean, you know, I mean, you know, I mean, you know, I mean, you know, I mean, you know, I mean, you know, I mean, you know, I mean, you know, I mean, you know, I mean, you know, I mean, you know, I mean, you know, I mean, you know, I mean, you know, I mean, you know, I mean, you know, I mean, you know, I mean, you know, I mean, you know, I mean, you know, I mean, you know, I mean, you know, I mean, you know, I mean, you know, I mean, you know, I mean, you know, I mean, you know, I mean, you know, I mean, you know, I mean, you know, I mean, you know, I mean, you know, I mean, you know, I mean, you know, I mean, you know, I mean, you know, I mean, you know, I mean, you know, I mean, you know, I mean, you know, I mean, you know, I mean, you know, I mean, you know, I mean, you know, I mean, you know, I mean, you know, I mean, you know, I mean, you know, I mean, you know, I mean, you know, I mean, you know, I mean, you know, I mean, I mean, I mean, you know, I mean, you know, I mean, you know, I mean, you know, I mean, you know, I mean, you know, I mean, I mean, you know, I mean, you know, I mean, you just want to fucking drink. I'm just trying to enjoy my sandwich. I don't need you grinding all over me just because you're in the mood.

Right now, I'm just trying to play video games, trying to text with my friends. Yeah, talking about what Trump's I'm trying to watch this Trump video. And you're over here trying to put your mouth all over my person, touching me. Yeah, just relax. Okay. All over my person, touching me, just relax, okay? Just fill out a request form for sexual attention. Yeah, I'm busy right now, schedule, okay?

Yeah, call, maybe you could go read a romance book with Keon on the cover. Yeah, get one of these dildos that Izzy's selling. Exactly. Just relax, I'm doing stuff right now, okay? I'll get around to it. Mm-hmm. Put it on the list.

You know? I can say that's never been a problem for me. I don't know if that's a point of pride or a point of me missing out quite a bit. It's, it turns into a problem. Okay. It gets more and more. The more shit that you've got to take care of, the more they want you.

In America, first you get the emails, and you get the women. And you're real charged up when you're doing work. They want to distract you. I've never had that issue. I've had that issue of one time, there's a girl who just wouldn't stop talking afterwards when I wanted to go to sleep.

And that was terrible, but. It was terrible too. Yeah. That issue of one time there's a girl who just wouldn't stop talking afterwards when I wanted to go to sleep. Mm-hmm. Um, and that was terrible. That was terrible too. Yeah. All these things. And it wasn't even talking because she wanted to keep going. She was just talking because she wanted to tell me about her day, and I honestly didn't care. Uh, yeah, that, uh, but...

Sometimes I have nightmares of that. After sex, I'll fall asleep. I'll hear them talking to me. I'm like, ah! I go, sorry. I thought you were still talking. I thought you were talking to me after we had these things ah, sorry, I thought you were still talking. I thought you were talking to me after we have in sex.

Never mind. Go back to sleep. Shine, you don't have that problem. What? The chicks getting just too horny to control. Well, to control. Yeah. I mean, yeah, I've definitely been with chicks who wanted it when, when I was doing other stuff.

I mean, it was like, yeah, I don't know if anybody I mean except he on wants it a hundred percent of the time Yeah, it's pretty great Hey dick Jake for Pittsburgh. I just want to talk about Christmas lights for our second everybody. Yeah, no, okay While I agree these fucking projectors are absolutely Yeah, now okay, while I agree these fucking projectors are absolutely Reloaded Chris, but they're the latest light show that no one ever paid for but I will say that they can do some good I've been using Christmas lights to single-handedly piss off my home or association for the last Seven or eight years that I've owned my home. Yeah, they're real hard on

Your own bullshit. There's a lot of money. I'm on my roof, putting them up and I'm test firing them, you know, putting them on. Because every one of us has put up a bunch of fucking lights and found a dead section. Didn't want to repeat it. So yeah, up comes about five or six of my fellow neighborhood people thought they were here to

introduce themselves. They go, Hey, not neighbors. We couldn't help to notice. You, you got color lights up on your house. I mean, I don't know if you notice when you sign the paper and you bought your home, but we're a white, we're a white light neighborhood. We're one of those people. You know, as the attention says, neighborhoods, they just decide all at once, hey, we're going to be as pure as the driven snow as white as the neighborhood inhabitants in which occupy it.

And I said, well, I've got hundreds of dollars of life. I've accumulated this share of years. I go stupid on Christmas. I don't know why. If you listen real carefully, real, real carefully from the bunker, you can hear my electric meter winning. Yeah. But I just always put up a shitload of fucking lights. So I go, no, I'm not buying hundreds of dollars more to accommodate your stupid fucking rules. So it's a boring time. I'm on my way here. I've had several times had my lights cut.

So following here I said, I'm wearing a suit and I'm going to fall on my ground floor, power supply wiring. I ran through KON to it. I've already had a couple of little changes like that and they can't cut it. Put up those little home depot security cameras too, so good.

Fucking luck cutting them fucking men and them out there you do that and they're just gonna start finding you for lights while I won't pay them they're gonna take your fucking house to has a court precedent that decided that home owners associations have no power to sue so once they presented them with that court precedent saying that that's a fifth amendment overreach, you're not allowed to do this. I've been using it to piss him off solidly every fucking year. So now I'm just buying those big bitches. The one you were talking about, those C9 bolts. Nice. I you can see my

house from a fucking moon buddy. So yeah, just wanted to say I've lit my entire property as a giant middle finger and I'm the first house in the neighborhood buddy Yeah, good for you driving an army of white pretentious douchebags with a bright fucking house. I Am so proud of this guy. It's one man. Look at the legal precedent pissing off. Oh, you drive Nothing will nothing will turn you into a legal scholar like being slided in some way. Yeah, yeah, yeah, your research that shit are they allowed to fucking do that. That's one that's one man you drive through any neighborhood every single fucking house is a something is that that guy every single fucking one. Oh, it's Christmas time time to get out my war on Christmas.

These are some of the only battles left that you actually have a shot at winning. Unfortunately, it seems like in today's day and age. Yeah, the war just gets closer and closer to home until it's in your goddamn brain. There's gonna be a future where you are fighting electrical, where you're fighting thoughts that are not yours. Companies are going

to be beaming thoughts into your brain that you will have to complain about having. Well, don't you hate it when the, uh, the sponsor Nike slash craft slash city bank horny ray kicks on at five in the afternoon. And you just wanted to relax, but you've got to go fuck your second, your automated sex doll for 30 minutes. Oh, man, it makes me such a rage when that happens. That's the future. Productivities at an all time low. Yeah, it's an all time.

We don't even measure it anymore because it's all robots. Yeah, true. And then they fucking these people sell your information to another group of telemarketers. You know what? And then they fucking these people sell your information to another group of telemarketers, you know, and on Mars the moon is all telemarketing Yeah, they just send space rays. It's the new India horny. Yeah, like tech support Telling God who was that on the phone a goddamn moon tonight called me again Trying to sell trying to sell me a fantasy a total recall package trying to sell me a fucking thought vacation Yeah recall package. Trying to sell me a fucking thought vacation. Oh yeah, oh, I accepted it.

Oh fuck, how much is that? How much did you just spend on a nano vacation that they beamed into your memories instead of actually letting you go on? I don't know, the price of our cryptocurrencies fluctuated by 9,000%. Since I bought it. So good luck getting a fucking reef.

You know, you know what makes me a rage trying to get a fucking refund on my brain scan nano vacation on my cryptocurrency that went up $9,000. They only give you back the current market value, but then they still charge you to a ratio. Fuckin' mind. Yeah, it makes getting a refund on Dildo seem easy and comparison. That's it, that's it. It does. We don't know how lucky we have it.

Yeah, that's all I'm saying. Every generation is going to have it. It's a little bit worse. Yeah, I know, I know. You know what I found out? I found a cool way to fuck with your neighbors this week. I was on the next door app. Okay, I know what that is.

You know what that is? It's this social media app where nosy assholes. Yeah, for nosy assholes. And they send you a postcard to verify you. So you gotta sign up and give your address and then they mail you a postcard and you gotta type in the code on the internet. So you can talk to the people that are right around you,

like right around you or kind of around you. And then you can go to the people that are right around you, like right around you, or kind of around you. And then you can go on and invite people, other people in your neighborhood, right? So you can spread the virus. So I went on there. Good way of putting it. Yeah, I went on there and they've got like, they've got green for people who are part of the system.

And then they've got yellow for people who have been invited, but who have not responded and they got red. For those people who haven't even been invited, you gotta get their sick. They fucked up on their colors, because they should have made, the people who haven't been invited, you want to click on them, but they made them red.

Yeah, which says don't, don't. It says danger, they fucked up. You know, what am I, don't, what am I? Free UX design for these dumb, these stupid motherfuckers. Okay. So this is dog that's always barking. Yes, I know the dog behind my house. I fucking hate it all day.

I've gone outside of my underwear and screaming at this fucking guy. This shit, shut your fucking dog. I've shut the fucking, they put it on this tiny patio. They put this little yippy dog. They've had it for exactly a year as a Christmas dog last year. They put it on the fucking patio. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yippy dog, they've had it for exactly a year as a Christmas dog last year, they put on the fucking patio. Most annoying sound I've ever heard, I've ever heard, and I lived in it. It's more annoying than the helicopters.

It's more annoying than the shouting because it's just the fucking same. So I'm looking at the next door app, and I click just randomly, some, like invite somebody and it's like, oh, would you like to send this person a special message? I said, I sure fucking would. We're gonna send him a postcard to invite them onto our app. Would you like to include a special message? Yep, shut your all caps, shut your fucking dog up, shut your dog up, shut your dog up, shut your dog up,

send. That has to be me. I think it will be sending them a postcard immediately Does you think anybody goes through and proofs those? No, it would be too expensive. I don't know. I'm gonna you know what? I'm gonna send a Control I'll send one to someone else and see see if they get it. Okay Or it have to fuck or if the dog doesn't shut up. I might a B test. Yeah another one So Sean is so can The great use of it.

They've made giving, they've made, they've made filing a complaint with your neighbor. They've automated it for me. Yeah, yeah. Oh. One more. All right. Oh, so happy.

And so drunk. Yeah. Perfect. Good one with the lights. Have I ever told a story of where my dad joined the HOA. Um, on the show. Well, if I know him, it's so he could undo it from the inside of you, who's for I'll get him on and tell that story.

Yeah, okay. Fucking great. Yeah. His level of shenanigans. Yeah. I just watched the live show. Man, I just watched the live show Man I would walk through 14 miles a broken glass and use needles to listen to deep singing

That's because I never even looked her up and I already know she's hot just based on her song hot thicker she is hot just based on her song. Hi, take her. She is hot. Broken 14 miles of broken glass and needles. Dedication. A piece to sing in my song. Yeah.

I got it. I didn't know she could sing like that. Yeah. She really does have a special. She's fucking really talented. Yeah. Amazing. I hope she records that song.

I'm gonna all post a video. I'll send her a video of it this week. She can do a more post it. One more, one more. Yeah, that was a short one. Hey, Dick, I was gonna call about some rage, about unrepairable laptops and shit, but I was listening to, I think it was episode 16 about schools. And it made me think of time and sixth grade when I got fucking embarrassed by my English teacher.

What makes me a rage are idioms. I don't understand half of them. I don't understand why Americans do so many Goddamn idioms or how they do not play dumb. But these idioms got me in trouble at school. I walked into this English teacher's class. I was a new student. I didn't know anyone. I was super awkward. And I guess I had some look on my face. And she said, get that chip off your shoulder. And I had no idea what the fuck she was talking about. And I just came from lunch. So I looked on my right shoulder and on my left shoulder. Me higher class just bust out laughing. And this teacher thinks I'm trying to be smart with her. Yeah, of course. As a way my clean up. As opposed to having an ass for this.

For the rest of the class makes me work on my workbook outside in the goddamn hallway. I think it's a big goddamn pool. Oh, man. Wow. Teachers should, they should, all elementary school teachers should moonlight a bully teaching school. And teach you how to thoroughly emasculate your fellow man. They're so good at it. They are. It's just matter than a wet hand over there.

But yeah. Well, don't you, every, you got to tell your kid before they go to school every day, hey, if you feel like a sickness in your stomach, like a burning on your face when an adult is speaking to you at school, you look them and you feel it, like you feel your insides kind of twist up and you don't think you did anything wrong. Look at them and you go, don't you dare talk to me like that. And then you go, you make an F sound and you go like that. Right.

And you just run up to the line. Yeah, you do, you look and then you spend the rest of the class just doing two eyes like this and pointing at you. Yeah. You, you don't say it, that'll get in their heads. That'll get in their heads because they're like, this person should have a little bit of fear. And if you're not showing any that works,

and I think that works on them, they'll go like, why is this person crazy enough to not fear me as an authority figure at all? You gotta cut check your teachers. Yeah, they still, some of them are fucking assholes. They're just people. You know, they're just people. There's assholes everywhere.

Yeah. All right. I think that's it. I'm done. See you next Tuesday.