The Dick Show - Episode 82 - Dick on Number Three in Space

Episode Date: December 23, 2017

The Yawn Police, post-seasonal regret, lies on Tinder, getting to first base with an alien, universal habitat for humanity, how to handle your gentleman's sausage in space, how to have sex in space suits, Antarctica's semen policy, sour grapes, Madcucks' invoice, Asterios' new lolsuit, and ordering oatmeal at a fancy restaurant; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!

Ah Is that thing? Yeah Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa and with me is always Sean the audio engineer. Hello, dick. Hey, what's up buddy joining us today for a very special year recap of the year and an educational episode. Usually is my friend is my very old friend rocket man. She's doing a cheer's motion. A man a few words because he's a man of science. That's it.

He doesn't waste them. I just write it down. He just writes it down like Jeopardy. Yeah. He goes and he, it's one ice clink in the glass for yes, two ice clinks for possibly, but I have to go do some math to figure it out. Mm-hmm.

It's a special episode today. It's gonna be all knowledge-based. I can't wait. Usually episodes... I actually like that. gonna be all knowledge-based. I can't wait. Usually episodes, I actually like that. Are zero knowledge-based. Yeah. Are we recording?

Yes, we're recording and streaming right now, rock of God. Okay, this is entertainment. Things are done with immediacy, with great urgency and immediacy. This isn't science. We'll see by the end of the show if he can compete with Bill Guy. The science dude.

Yeah, you know what? You give me points. I've got a bunch. I like you've got a bunch of questions from Dickheads on Instagram, GAB, Facebook, Reddit and Patreon. All the great social media places. The only ones you want to be on. Yeah, the top ones.

The top ones, no other one exists. Only those five, I've got questions from all of those for Rocket Man. How much time do we have? We've got as much time as it takes for you to get too drunk to talk. Yeah, and need to go downtown to the seven grand or can we get those ice cups? I think we get those ice cubes out of your drink, please, because it's already driving me insane.

Yeah. Jamie, can you please help at the ice cubes and rock and man's drink? Do you have this kind of stuff in your life? Is a for the for background for you, you are a, you are an astrologist. You're a doctor of astrology. More or less from the a doctor of astrology. It's more or less. From the California Institute of Science and the Massachusetts technical repository.

Also known as Harvard. Yeah. Yeah, you're a doctor of astronomy. Do you want to give any bio? No. OK. Oh, by the way, none of this is, you know, a reflection of my employer, a person employer. Okay. Well, who is Trump basically? Right?

What a suit. Oh, yeah, I'm getting. A couple levels up. Oh, does he not know that? I'm getting sued for half a billion dollars. Did you know that? That's a lot of money. Yeah. We lived together in college rock and man and I. Yeah. And he went the smart way out of college, went to go, went to go, one of us went to go better humanity. And the other one of us went to go defraud humanity in the sciences by building satellites and other kind of bond doogles. Let's see what you say. Boom doggles.

Boom doggles. Yeah. Caching in on grant money, raking it in, rolling, while one of us is hard at work on their jokes to express the suffering of the common man. And better our understanding of one another is we trot through on this, as we shed our mortal

coil one year at a time. The other one of us went to go live a life of luxury, breaking in respect, heading the helm of the meritocracy and sailing on the sailing on a kush lifestyle and everyone's hard work. Sure. As you white collared in your white tower, you academia, you mother. So that's... Don't you feel better, though? Yeah, I do feel better about myself. I discovered all of this stuff. I... What have you discovered? Let me list it. Can you? Can you list anything you discovered?

Sure. Have you ever bought a star for someone for $4,999? No, I didn't. You've never done that. I like how they can sell something that they don't know. My ex mother-in-law did. Your ex mother-in-law? Yeah, she bought, she bought me a star. Oh, have you ever gone and looked at it with one of your telescopes? No. For the tax payer dollars? No, I didn't. I do that. Those things are just camera. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. They just put you on on the same one. What do you want out of that? You're going to sell, you're going to sell the star for a profit or yeah, they're encrypted. Yeah. They're Bitcoin stars. You mine, mine the stars. You got any Bitcoins? I've got some.

Okay. All right. I believe you. Good. Um, okay. Let me get, do you want to get some questions first? Or do you want me to do my usual thing? Tell you what makes me rage. You know what it is? What? Well, today is, today's boxing day when this episode goes on. That's a Canada, right? That's all over the world, man. Really? Yeah. That's the day it is. It's the day after Christmas. That's what day is. So we're all waking up. It's not the Thanksgiving where the different countries have different days.

No, it's the day after Christmas. I didn't know multiple countries celebrated boxing day. You bet you're asked, they do. I don't know. Do you get points if you're totally wrong? No, I don't know. The point, the point game hasn't started yet. Oh, all right.

And every, everyone in the free world in America is waking up and realizing that they don't love their family as much as they paid for this year. That's what boxing day is. It's like a post-tender hookup, looking at the last thing you sent the girl before you went over and banged her,

like, oh shit, why did I say that? Yeah. Why did I buy all these people all this stuff? What was I thinking? But there's no target to take it back to. With what, in the case of Tinder? Yeah, there's no target. They've already ripped it all out of the boxes.

This is you just sitting there feeling the, and the thrill has gone. All the toys have been played with, See, the excitement has been exhausted today for everyone across America. And now is there any more games for this switch? Where do we get another controller? That was the only game. When is the next one coming up?

When is my, it's a one day event, Christmas. And it's over now. And we're all feeling that's the five day season of ultimate regret. Fuck. I thought it was all the build up. It was supposed to last longer than this. That's what I'm saying. And it doesn't every year. So convert to duty as a convert to, I think Islam has two Christmases every year. Really? I don't know. I don't know, but they should start promoting the hell out of that. I thought it was seven. Boom, two Christmases. You got to get, see that Islam, if Islam marketed like cigarette companies, that's what it would be. It would be Joe Campbell riding a camel

with a Kuran in one hand and two Christmases in the other. I see. That's what they need to get the kids while they're young. Yeah. You know? All this Linda Sarsour, all this adults arguing about Islam and Islamophobia. I'm not going to change anybody.

You can't change anybody's cigarette of preference. They're religion. You can't change that. You've got to get the kids. Hey kids, Islam. Five Christmases. What do you think of that? Down.

It's good marketing. It's good marketing. I like how you took his eyes. You took it nice. Yeah, you took. I don't knock it around. I'm like, can you give it to Jamie? Can you give it to my eyes?

Oh, I got it. I got it. Thank you. You know what else makes me rage? What's that? When people tell you not to yawn, yeah. Yeah. Okay.

That was cute when I was 20 years old. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. That was cute when I was 20 years old. Yeah. You know what it is now? It's a, it's a, it's capital offense. Okay. Now, if I am, if I am out, and if I am ever not yawning, while I'm out, that might be the happiest I've been in five years.

Yeah. I'm sitting there, glad to be upright, not thinking about the sweet blackness of bed that awaits for me when I get home. Mm-hmm. It'll come. What? The bed. The bed.

Yeah. I'm sitting there at a bar holding a feeling my drink hotter than it's supposed to be. Yeah. Because I've lost the will to drink. Mm-hmm. Not even seeing ice in it anymore, which is a little flex of ice floating around, and I'm thinking, oh, God, am I gonna even,

I'm gonna take my, taking my shoes off, is gonna feel so good. I'm gonna lie down on the couch, watch some mad men. Ah, then go downstairs. Yellow deluxe. Get another couple drinks. And she's going to hit that bed and it's going to feel so nice. That's something I'm going to tease myself with at all night,

because that's all I've got. No one's, it's all I've got is holding myself off from bed. And I'm going to tease myself. I'm just going to sit in here, sit in here at the bar, listening to this fucking moron talking about God knows what talking about what they're going to do in 2018 talking about they're going to write a book this year. They're going to learn a language Sean. They're going to learn French.

They're going to learn French. This bitch is telling me she's going to learn French and I'm like, oh God, I wish you were just a big fat bed that I could sink my head right into. And you let out, you forget where you are for one second and you let out a nice, nice yard out. And then you get some fucking go for popping out of a whole going, oh, we're not going to have any of that here as though they can't have fun if everyone is not in a 80s juicy fruit commercial on Coke, jacking themselves up to an 11 about how much fucking fun it is to hang out and drink because everyone is, is too terrible to tolerate sober.

Some of the fun thing in the world, why would I be yawning at that? You can't, yawn. I don't have the wherewithal to continue this delusion on my own. So don't yawn. You're not allowed to indulge in any craving that you have. Put the yawn right back in your throat be afraid of yawning when you're around me The 20 something party girl who's at the end of the party of her life not at the beginning The fucking yawn bullies

Did this happen recently it happens to me all the time it happens to me all the time when people are not familiar with me Yeah, yeah, oh Things to me all the time when people are not familiar with me. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, I see you yawning. We're not going to have any of that tonight. Yeah, we are, bitch. We're going to have a lot of yawning. The whole night is going to be yawning for me.

In fact, I'm going to lay down on the floor. I'm going to unbutton my shirt so far that it's uncomfortable that you can start to see the slope of my fat gut. I'm gonna roll my sleeves all the way up past the elbow and I'm gonna roll around in Yon. I'm gonna take my shoes off. I'm using them as a pillow. I'm kind of concerned about your recklessness. I'll Yon, however much I want, however much I want however much I want to yawn. I'll yawn for until the end of fucking time Until I'm sleeping Yeah, can you yawn in your sleep? Just to get some of them out and then like you'll be better during the day

You know what I don't yell at any of you brawds when you're walking home holding your shoes Consoling each other crying because a guy didn't pay enough attention to you in the club You don't see me jumping your face. Don't cry. There's no crying here. So stay the fuck out of my face with the yawning Guys are too busy yawning I'm yawning all from now on all night every night every time I go out nothing but yons I'm just gonna walk right in the middle of a bachelor at party and give him a big How you bitches like this Cuz they're so suggestible they'll all they'll all fall over dead. Yeah, probably ruined their night

I'll be talking about the guy who, me too, this guy was just aggressively yawning at us. Hashtag. We were trying to have a good time. We had just ordered shots. Oh. And as soon as he heard shots, he started yawning and ruined our good time.

Does it happen to you, ever? What? People tell you not to see. I press it. No, people telling you not to yon. No. That's never happened to you. Some chick has never said, we're not having that.

In my vast experience now, the privilege on them when they say that's me, there won't be, no, no yawning, we're all having fun. No, we are, you are done. We are the fun into long fucking time ago. You are on the, you are in the wrong part of town. You need to turn around and take your no-yawning ass back to the good side of the tracks because we're all real fucking tired over here on this side. We're yawning because of you because Because this is all, all this shit is built.

I'm yawning because I just got carted and I'm, and I'm 37. I just got carted by a guy who's, by a 23 year old. That's why I'm, that's why I'm yawning, because I've been living the same fucking day every day of my life for 15 years. And I'm getting sick of it. Ah! Because I was angry about it for my, for years I tried that one. Every day is the same. That's why I'm yawning. Every bar is the same. That's why I'm yawning. Every bar is the same. And you telling me

you're not to yawning is starting to look like a gray-faced blob. Yawning while you can. Because someday you'll be dead. Come for the yawning. Yeah. They came for the. It's not enough. It's someday it's gonna be, I didn't get a low lot of that guy. You watch your ass. Yeah, you didn't put a low on your comment there. You're not having a good time.

Yeah. Where are the fun, please? That's a subtext, John, right there. It is. First they come for what you want to do, and then they start making you do things They emojis. Yeah, yeah, got it really drives me fucking crazy. No yawning tonight. This is a party Let's be a yawning emoji, right?

A yawning emoji has to be yeah, I don't think so. No, the buzz of the girls are shaking. Shake immediately shaking their heads now. They would know. Lacey, have you ever busted someone for yawning? No. Never? Have you seen anyone do it? I'm sorry about it.

Has she seen anyone yawning? Have you seen anyone busting a guy for yawning? Can you say it into, say it into Rocky Man's microphone? Have you ever seen one of your hot friends give a, oh, there's no yawning tonight. No. I don't fucking believe that. I don't fucking believe that this is only a me thing

and that it's been driving me insane for 20 years or 15 years every time, like the second I get comfortable enough for my insides to relax, like, oh, I finally feel like I might have a moment of peace here. Everything's just gonna relax for a second. Oh, yeah, that feels great. Stop yawning, we're having a good time!

Maybe just grabbing too much. Did this just happen? It always happens, I mean, it always happens. It always happens. No mean, it always happens. It always happens. No, you're making me tired. All right. Do you want to get to your precious science then, Sean?

Yeah. Okay. Okay, we're acumen. This one's from Jake Lee Hayes. He says, why should I give a fuck about space? These are questions for astrophysicists that I ask people to add. What's your... For all your questions answered, you know absolutely everything there is to know in the universe

down to the subatomic level, to the macro, what is a universe? How many universes are there? What is the Einstein-Rosen paradox bridge? What is a quark? What's quantum computers do? What's the bits, coins? How does the brain work? Is there quantum tunneling? Is there free will in the brain? Is it a molecular machine that's totally determinable? Or is there some sort of quantum tunneling effect in the brain that is random at least into some degree? Ask him ask rock a man whatever you want. I've known him for years. He's here all night I'm you I don't even know I think he'll probably invoice me for this for this

So just get your money's worth and ask him you're already paying for it Ask him why should I ask why should I give a fuck about space? Okay, go ahead like the laser like precision of his question Yeah, it's a good way to start. Does he know his mother? I don't know why. Well, I answered it with a question which is he speaks in the best. But it's kind of long that line. Do you want to know where you came from? Oh, I thought you were going to talk about banging his mom. where you came from. Oh, I thought you were gonna talk about banging his mom. I was not going there.

Yeah. What did you come from? A bunch of big stars exploding? Yeah, the big bang ultimately. Okay, so that's why you should give a fuck. Do you care where you came from? Yeah. And you should.

Gives you a better understanding of who you are. Right? Gives you a context of your life. Sure. Okay. Here's another one. This one's from insanity keep. How would you jack off in space without without without getting noticed and get rid of the evidence?

That's a good question. Yeah. That's a good one. That's a good question. Because so best case scenario, you've got a covering of some kind, right? Okay. You've got, you've got like the vacuum tube, tube, the poop tube on the space shuttle. That's right. You could hook it up at the last minute. You pull the old switcheroo, right? Oh, bam! Right on, sucked out into space, right? Yep.

Best case scenario. So the problem is these systems are very specific for urine and poop. Okay. And that's kind of a mix of the two. The scientifically speaking. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You really will come up the work.

So I don't think that's an option. But people are in space for a long extended periods of time. They got to get you'll come up the works. It's that sensitive. Yeah. Wow. No, I'm fascinated. When I was in Antarctica,

they have these similar systems where they're recycling everything or they're at least, you know, making it, breaking it down, and then cleaning the liquid parts and ejecting it into the environment. And then they would just either fly or cargo boat it out the rest of it. Right. See, you think that big thing is an iceberg, but that's just just, that's what Antarctica is. The flatter the people were kind of right that.

Wait, you used one of these things when you were in Antarctica? Why they make that? The urinal? Yeah, I used a urinal. It's just a urinal. It's not one of those two. No, it's not a two. But that's what the same process, you know, applies. Okay. the same process, you know, applies. Okay. They, they need to either store it or, um, basically, they, they want to keep all the moisture. So they have to do some sort of chemical process to it. Why do they want to keep moisture? Because it's very expensive to blast rockets up with just water in them. That's Elon Musk is making a lot of money doing that. Oh, really?

You got to get water. You want to keep all the water in space as much as possible? Yeah. Is that why Luke Skywalker was a moisture farmer? Is that based in reality? Well, it's a desert. So, yeah, moisture is very important in a desert. Okay. So, if I'm in space and I need to rub one out,

I need to make- Back to the question. I need to make sure I keep the moisture. Because sometimes it's mostly, you know, watery. Yeah. So, I the the actual excrement System is Yeah more applicable. Yeah, so you'll you'll have you can't do it in the in the in the urine tube You have to do it in the oh in the poop tube in the poop. Okay, so jerk off in the car There you go insanity key that's that's the answer

Yeah, do you guys do that in space on the space station? I didn't ask any astronaut's that. How is that possible? You didn't ask that. They have to. Wouldn't you force them to like a year? Yeah. That's basically dealing with like billion dollar equipment.

Like, Hey, according to the specs, you need to jerk off twice before you try fitting the Hubble with this new hotel. Let's go. No, I'm fine. You're clearly not. You're clearly on edge. So that there were signs in the in Antarctica, in the in the bathroom, and say, yeah, journals are only for urine, no jerking off.

Really? I don't know. I don't know what the exact wording was. No, no seemin' in your analysis. I think like that. Yeah. Okay. Wow, that's a good question.

All right. Here's, let's see here. 688 AS says, is Mars the kind of place to raise your kids? What if I can just joke? 688 AS says is Mars the kind of place to raise your kids? What the fuckin' does jokes? Just jackass, jackassery and jokes. Once in a lifetime opportunity wasted with stupid jokes from people have no respect.

The lowest, the lowest, what did Maddox call listeners of this show, the lowest caliber of people in society? Some of these? Yeah, it's in the lawsuit. Oh, okay. Oh, here's a good one. Made off user Goober says,

how does a fart stink disperson space? Very close to how it does on earth. Which is the lingers around for like an hour, depending on what you wait. Okay, interesting. If the temperature doesn't have anything to do with anything or are you talking about in a vacuum? Yeah. Well, the vacuum space, right? Like, let's say, what did you mean inside of? I don't think you can even hold it fart in if you're in a vacuum. Let's say you're in the space. Right, it would like everything just comes out, right?

Your intestines will come out. Yeah, your blood will go through your skin. Yeah, but if we knew you close the door before that happens, you just get the fart. Yeah, it's just a quick in and out. If you're in a space station with like six guys, this is this type of system is a necessity to have a little hole where dudes can just go like, boop, jeez, open a window.

But a singular tube like hole. So it's a fart hole. Yeah. What would happen when it went out into space? A fart tube. It would be an explosive fart. It would explode. You're the biggest fart in your life.

I don't think. Absolutely. Why? How would it explode? It's part your test and sound. Yeah, you're entire. But as I explained, it's like a button. It's only a moment.

It's still that. And it'll be traveling at the speed of light. I'm traveling far. The fastest part, yes. Interesting. So could you point it at another galaxy and maybe hit another civilization? Yeah, like mock 25. Like if they had guys doing a spacewalk for the first time, what are the odds that you could shoot afar at them?

It probably wouldn't be at any sort of escape velocity, especially if you're in low earth orbit. Oh, okay, so very low chance. It'll rain down upon the entire earth. If that helps, it can feel better. So if you were in space, you could fart all over the entire earth. That's right. Wow, very interesting. Okay. This is another Giz question. Let's see. Oh, here's a good one. This is from Ronnie Lane. Let's see. Oh, here's a good one. This is from Ronnie Lane. What do you think would be the estimated time between first contact and first base? Talking about aliens. That's a good question. So let's say,

do you believe in aliens, first of all? That's a big question. Oh, really? Is that for scientists, that's a big question? Sure. Okay, look, they're obviously aliens. Obviously. Obviously. Obviously aliens. Yeah. Okay.

So the question was, to me, do I believe in aliens? No. No, we can just, okay, you believe in aliens, so if there were, yeah, and they landed on Earth. How fast, how fast would you hook up with them?

How fast could, do you think it would take for our best human to fuck one of them? Right, that's first base for you? No. But, excuse me, I'm a spook. How fast? Like third base is like in a rocket, right? Yeah.

Yeah. You can just walk. How long do you think it would take to hook up with an alien? How would I think that's the question? How? It's not good if a baseball player you are. Yeah. First base, I'm done. I'm going home. Everybody see it? I'm fun with you. It's not good of a baseball player you are. Yeah.

First base I'm done. I'm going home. Everybody see it. My work is done. I've owned with you. I've stupid nine, the rest of your innings. I think fucking, I get it. He gets the first base.

He gets the first base and it counts as a run. Yeah. Okay. How hot are they? They're aliens. It's probably their nerds. Like they, first of all, their self esteem is probably very low because they've just been beep, beep, beep going around and their spaceship planning out warp drives.

So they come here and they've never been hit on by a real man before, right? Oh, okay. So we're at the superiors. You're going to be if there was a aliens landed, I get fucking 12 guys with acoustic guitars behind me playing a whole acoustic guitar symphony to woo these aliens. Yeah. Jack Johnson.

Yeah. Oh, God. Probably 10 minutes. I bet I could fucking alien in 10 minutes. Yeah. Right when they land. If Jack Johnson and Jason Mirage played, they'd leave as soon as fucking possible. Who's take his who's who's leads Earth right here? Let me get my let me assemble my acoustic posse. No yawning. Yeah. Okay, so you don't know that one. Oh, boy.

You don't know as much as you thought about space, I bet. I guess not. Here's one from AST, do you think asteroid mining is actually profitable? Uh-oh. Oh, this is like an actual question. Yeah. Unless he says it's the stupidest thing he's ever heard of.

Or is it just a secret way to get money out of stupid millionaires? We talked about this in the cab ride to Santa Monica last, last time. It was here. Asteroid mining. Do you think it's actually profitable? Like this? Goldman Sachs thinks that it's probable.

Oh man. It's gonna be so funny when they pull in the first load of asteroid mining gold and platinum and bring it back down. He's like, oh, fuck. What are we supposed to do? I mean, that's up there, right? Did you guys find any big coins up there? Because now that's, yeah, now that's kind of all we have that's rare on her. Oh, whoops. So yeah, you do think it's it's profitable. Yeah, it depends on the asteroids composition. So it's it is made of cheese. It wouldn't be as profitable. Yeah, if it would an asteroid be made out of that you would just really love. That I would love. Yeah, water, bugs, water. Yeah. If it, what would an asteroid be made out of that you would just really love? Mm-hmm.

That I would love? Yeah. Water. Bogs. Water? Yeah. Really water, so special? Water, it's great.

You can use it to live and you can use it for rocket fuel. How you do that? I mean, it's oxygen and hydrogen. So you need it to do you space stuff. Yeah. Making rockets. If people gave the same guy says, if people gave a shit about space anymore, and you had a blank check from the government, what would your long range priority project be? It will repeat it, sorry. What would you, if you had unlimited money for a space project, what would it be?

The first thing would be the colonized Mars. Mars, why? So you could make the human, the human race could survive a cataclysmic event. You know that's code for Sean getting white people on Mars. That's going to be their little white society up there. That's the first thing they're going to do. It's like, hey, how come all the people going to Mars? They're very similar. Oh, see, shut the doors.

That's it. They're going to start all over up there. They think they're so fucking smart Like we don't need to build a wall. We have space Let's see you stupid Mexican to try to climb over that Let's see you build a ladder to cover this one hold your breath. Oh God. That'll really get us Why do you want to call them? Why do you want to colonize Mars so bad? I just told you tell me again Why do you want to colonize Mars so bad? I just told you. Tell me again, I was talking. So the human race can be wiped out very easily.

Yeah, not easily enough. Multiple ways. Would like how? What's the most likely way? Yeah. Probably texting and driving. Everyone at once. Yeah, that's great.

That's great. That's great. That's great, somebody's gonna make an app. It's so good. People can't put it down. Everybody on Earth gets the same amber alert and loses their shit. Yeah. Right.

On the time scale of thousands of years. Yeah. It's probably an asteroid strike. Yeah. That makes sense. That checks out. What, in your scientific opinion, is what movie is best at destroying an asteroid?

Deep impact or Armageddon? I don't even remember. Can you can you summarize what what they did to Bruce Willis was in Armageddon and they had that aero smith song and that blew it up. Yeah. Okay. And they had that Aerosmith song. And that blew it up. Yeah. Okay. And Robert DuVal was in deep impact.

And I think Morgan Fairchild worked for the government. But Robert DuVal just like looked at the asteroid or what it did. He talked to it and boarded until it exploded. Okay. He talked it to death with stories. I think Bruce Willis, obviously. Yeah, I think so too. It was a better one. I think Bruce Willis obviously. Yeah, I think so too.

It was a better one. I think so too. Okay, let me see what else I got here. So what, you want the human race to survive? Getting my life to go. Yeah, my life is well. How difficult is it? We put so much effort into it.

We, yeah, we. Some people didn't. What did you say, Sean? No, I was gonna say. I've got all of this baggage that I want to propagate. Yeah, I'm sorry. I was gonna say of all the ideas that have been talked about with plans in the future for space or exploration,

what's on a scale of one to 10, how difficult is Mars to colonize compared to like other things that have been talked about. Like, you know, I couldn't even name what the other things would be. What the alternatives are. Yeah, but I mean, how difficult, how likely is it that it, yeah, within a hundred years, we could colonize Mars. Yeah. Mars is a lot easier. It's already how it already has water on it. It has some atmosphere and it's got some gravity as well. More than any other movement or more than any planet within our reach. Yeah. Okay.

But you can't do it in your lifetime, right? Colonize Mars. Why not? I don't know. Because it's it's pretty hard. You think that could happen though? Yeah. A Mars base. Yeah. What would you want to be there? Oh, look at me. I'm on fucking Mars. What's up, everybody? Right. Isn't it a great place to raise your kids? I'm gonna go out and look for some water.

Yeah, check me out. Check out my Mars blog. Hey. Ugh. I'm gonna be crazy. That's what I'm saying. Ugh. Give me a break.

Try to fix problems at home. You don't need to go. Unfixible. Franchising this human disease around the solar system. Sure. And then you're out like a light. Eventually. Ryan Allen says, how many beers should I drink in space?

Depends on the atmospheric pressure. What do you mean? So the human physiology is very susceptible to altitude. And so you can probably get pretty friggin drunk at a very low atmospheric. You can use fucked up space. Oh yeah. Well, it depends.

Depends. That's why you get drunk on a plane to the fast. Oh yeah. Because it's a lower atmospheric pressure. That's why they make those bottles so small. Sean, okay. Oh, let's see here. Patrick, are there aliens in space? You don't want to answer that one.

You don't know. If you had to bet, would you bet that there was aliens? If you had to bet me right now, I'll bet any amount of money that there's aliens. But how are you gonna prove it? I have a letter from one. You have a lawsuit from one. Yeah, I've lost it from one. Oh, that's the jacko picola. Can I smoke in Mars?

That's it. In Mars? Yeah, that's a question. What do you think? Can you smoke in Mars? If he was in Mars somehow. First, you have to get to the core. That's a whole other movie.

If, oh, this is a good question. Shane Torrens, if possible to reach, why couldn't we or could we drink the nebula's made of alcohol? Uh, the alcohol nebula. Yeah of alcohol? The alcohol nebula. Yeah. So there's a nebula, there's a cloud of alcohol floating out in space. Yeah, it's one of the most abundant molecules in the galaxy. Alcohol is.

Alcohol. That's a sign from God. All of a sudden you want to go to space, don't you? Who do you think put that there, aliens? So could you just drink it? Could you just say, no, the fart tube around and drink the liquor? Could you fly a spaceship through liquor?

No, you would probably need like a spaceship with a scooper. Okay. That is like miles in diameter. What proof is it? 100% or 200. It's probably one trillionth of a proof. Why? If you buy volume, it's by volume. By volume is by volume. Oh, I didn't know that. Read any alcohol alcohol bottle says by volume. You can't actually have pure alcohol. Can you you can only get 90 something percent here because it'll won't just evaporate immediately. If you have, there's no such thing as a hundred percent alcohol is there. I thought I was just eating all. Like basically. But I mean like can you like and still it'll stay in liquid form?

Not in atmosphere. Ah, see that's that's you have to seal it. Got it. So could you call it all could you eat the alcohol in space? The cloud. If you had a big scoop. If you had a big mouth like a scoop. Okay. Like a whale. Yeah. Are there space whales? Space whales that subsets subsets. What is that word?

Sincents. Subcents. Yeah. On alcohol. Oh. All right. Very interesting. Why not? Let's see. Would you want to fuck it though? No, boy. Alcohol? The whale. That's how I... How soon after you meet the whale? A lot. I don't fuck whales.

First phase. That's the other guy. That's the other guy. Let's see here. Oh, this is a... Okay. Oh, he already did a, okay. Oh, he already did a poop question.

Is it possible to create a spacecraft to go warp speed? Could the sun be harness enough energy to make it happen, assuming the craft could withstand it? Very specific question about warp speed for you. At warp, warp speed, warp speed being the speed of light. I don't know. Yes. This is a better question.

Nick Marty says, what would theoretically be the best way to shoot a group of people into the sun? Oh, we've been trying to do that for years. What would be the best way to do that? The most energy efficient way. I guess, yeah. The one that gets the funniest way. The funniest way.

Could we make a catapult that does it? Yeah, I think you can make a catapult. What would be the most energy efficient way to do that? A sun elevator. Yeah. What about one of those? You want to make a space elevator? That's a pretty cool. Yeah. Yeah. That seems like a a worthwhile one. Just go up and check it out. See what's going on. Come down. Let out a couple juicy ones at the top. Rain them down all over. Check out the fart tube.

Maybe try to bust one out, while you're in space. Get send it floating around. Do you, has anyone had sex in space? No. No? It's like the 100 mile eye club. Yeah. That would have been.

NASA certainly says that there is not. There is not. But have they sent up anyone who's there? There's been a, there's been a, how's been in wife, I think. Oh, there has to have been a space, a space hand job at least then. No, that'd be the most expensive for no ever shot. Yeah. All right. Let me see here.

Let's call it the big. You do it a lot cheaper with Hollywood, Hollywood special effects like a vomit comment. Have you been in that thing? It flies around. It makes you throw up that level of playing. I did not. Let's see. Here's let's see here. What's the point of anal probes? Why do the aliens learn from it? No.

He's questioned. Talk about time travel. No. A opinion on wormhole. Do you have an opinion on wormhole travel? They want to know. No, I don't have any opinion. There are theoretical like models. Yeah. How do you think we could ever do it? No. What about teleporting? Because I think that if there's teleporting, the line to take the teleporter would probably just be like 10 hours long.

So you'd have to sit there and go like, well, I can just go sit at the teleporting airport and wait for 10 hours or I can just fly to New York. It takes five hours, but it's like a five hour hassle to get there. Yeah, you know. But, sorry, you are okay with the information teleportation, scheme. Yeah, I'd be fine with that.

They reconstruct me. Maybe I'll get messed up and they'll reconstruct me twice. No, like Riker. Your atoms are dispersed. So you are dead. That's fine. You know what, I would even care. The copy of you will emerge on the other side.

But it won't be me, because it'll be a copy. Like it'll be the same molecules and atoms. No, it's not gonna be the same molecule. But the same type of, they'll have all the same properties. It's gonna be the same state. Yeah, it'll be the same state. You will be in the same state as you were when you left. But I'll be dead.

You will be dead. You know what, if like a clone of me just walked into my house and said, Hey, what's up? I'm a clone. What do you think of the bad? I would see like, you know what, dude, great, just keep doing it.

I'm gonna go shoot myself. I'm fine with the information loss of teleporting. You're not. No, I think people would. I'm not gonna kill myself. It's a good point. I'd consider that Let me see here

um I know there's a flat earth question. Yeah, yeah, because nobody could prove that the earth is round You ask them if the earth is round they just get all pissed off Take it away rocket man. Have you ever heard anyone prove that the earth is round? They just point at a bunch of like sciency stuff and go well Take it away, Rocket, man. Have you ever heard anyone prove that the earth is round? They just point at a bunch of like, sciency stuff and go, well, how about all those pictures? Wait.

If I ever heard anyone try and prove that the earth is round. Yeah, successfully. To a flat earth person. Well, I haven't heard any argument to say that it was flat. I mean, look around. It's just, it looks flat everywhere, everywhere you look, it's flat in all directions. Where does the sun go?

It goes away. It goes under the dust. It goes under the dust. It goes under the dust. What's underneath? Nothing. I don't know, I'm not a flat earth person, but I'm saying this is what,

it's very hard to prove that wrong. Nobody can do it. I, I, I, I'm very confused about what the arguments are in favor of a theory that says the earth is flat. I just makes more sense. Like a table's flat, the Earth is flat. I just makes more sense. Like a table's flat, the ground is flat, you're walking around and everything's flat, you're not walking around on a ball.

I am. And you're not flying off, it's the ball spinning around and everybody's not flying off into space. Yeah. That sounds absurd. Absurd, absurd, that Einstein had had some idea that the

What no no no How about this one what are your thoughts on the theory that dark energy might be the effects of gravity from parallel universe is somehow leaking into our own. Also what is your favorite beer? Okay. The dark energy is actually nothing like gravity. It's more like a negative pressure of space. Okay. So it's coming in from parallel universes.

It could be. Oh, fuck. You messed that guy up for life now. Yeah. We really don't know what dark energy is. What do you mean it could be coming in from other universes? It's got this weird property that the energy density is constant with time, meaning that as the universe is expanding,

the energy of the dark energy is constant. So as the universe is expanding, that energy is pushing even further apart. Okay. The regular energy. Regular universe. Yeah. So why does that mean it's from a parallel universe like Rick and Morty? Because it's the actual fabric of space is expanding, meaning that the volume is expanding, but that density of dark energy is remaining the same. It's decoupled from everything else. Oh, so it's like a whole universe inside of it. Well, it's everywhere.

Yeah. Huh. Gross. It's in like my pants. It's in your pants. Private areas. Yep. So I'm kind of a gay parallel universe.

So those might be stans on your boxers. It's 70% of your pants. Oh, boy. I'm the gay one. Interesting, very interesting. Let's see here. Oh, my favorite beer. Yeah.

It's a plainly. Piny the elder. Yeah. I knew that about you. Greg Germans says, why don't we just shoot all our garbage into the sun, problem solved? You're talking about liberals. Okay.

Not cheers. No, problem solved, why don't we do that? When you guys get on that? That's a lot of energy to get it out of Earth's gravity. Yeah. But then you don't have to worry about looking at it. Okay. I'll better look next time, Greg.

Oh, this is a good one. Would you get an erection faster on the moon because of low gravity? How do erections work in space? Yeah. Yes. Yeah. Oh, okay. Interesting. What about the canned situation in space? The breast situation in space.

Like, is there some kind of a harness that you dig? Are they bigger? Are there things down? Yeah. What's happening there? Because how are we supposed to deal with space travel if women's breasts are floating around and a weird way? It's a it's the same deal with yoga, right? It gets in the way What do you think you gotta tell you down?

You know what I'm talking about though the look oh You want to you you're caring about the look not, I don't know how if I'm in space, the practical, like mobility aspect. No, I'm talking about the look. Like if you're, if everyone, if women's cans are like floating around in pointy shapes, like a 50s bra in space, what the hell am I supposed to do? How am I supposed to use the, uh, semen shooting tube? I need a earth hang going on. Yeah. Are you guys working on anything in that department? I don't think so.

Okay, well, that's a mistake. Yeah. Ask him to explain the Kassamir effect. There's a lot of seamen questions. Can you explain the Kassamir effect? I don't know what that is. You know what that is? No. Like, where are things stick to each other? Because they're less than like a plank length away from each other. So there's like a, there's like a

vacuum energy forces them together. Something like that. Like Scotch tape? I don't know. Is that why Scotch tape works? I think that's why Scotch tape works? I think that's the language Scotch tape works. Sticky. No. It's like a gecko, like they have those fibers. It's sticky, it's sticky because of that. Because of the cashier force?

Well, sure, why not? We'll call it that. You're the scientist. Let's call it that. Why is it sticky? Why are you using nomenclature that you don't have any context on? This guy's asking because I'm trying to find a not-giz related question to ask you. You're somebody Sam, you fuck. What do you mean? I don't know the nomenclature. Why is

it sticky? Because of electrons in shit. No, this isn't electrons. This is when you put two things so close together that there's no spontaneous, you know, don't fucking, don't drown in me like that. No, I'm thinking. I'm thinking, you know what I'm saying is right. How are you doing? Particles and whatever anti-particles are always being born everywhere.

And they're annihilating each other, but if you push things too close together, they don't get born. They can know what you mean. Particles and whatever anti-particles are always being born everywhere. And they're annihilating each other, but if you push things too close together, they don't get born. So they're pushed, the plates are like pushed together because they're so close together that they can't be pulled apart, can't be fooled again. No. Rock'a-Man, it's a real fucking force. I don't think that's what that is.

It's something that is. It's something like that. Sounds like a wave. A wave that can't go through in between the things, like Indiana Jones three, because they're so close together. You can't go between them. Pretty close.

The vacuum energy, okay? And there's force keeping them together. And that's why like a gecko can climb on the wall because it's got those little fibers. You know, you've never heard of this before. I think we're talking about the same thing. You're talking about Scotch tape. Yeah.

I'm talking about science. Science shit. Johnny, you learning anything from this? I'm talking about science. Science shit. Johnny, you learning anything from this? But you're talking about court on the court level. That's, yes. That's a Hawking radiation. No, I'm not talking about that.

You're talking about parer production. You're right. I messed up on the parer production. I didn't see that. You're talking about something else. Different level. Yeah. Okay.

Just to be clear. So you have no comments on the cast of your force for this guy? No. I have to look that up. All right. Just email me. Okay.

Talking about asteroids. Chick of Destiny says, what's, which death, which death in the how which death by space vacuum seen in a movie is most accurate least accurate? It's a good question. Side note, I have a theory myself. She has she has her own prediction. Okay. Okay, which which is the space vacuum death that's most accurate? Uh,

because anyone give me an exam. What would happen if you died in space? What happened if you found a space? It was early in the morning and you forgot where you were, you were hungover and you're like, oh man, I just need to get some fresh air on my. You go out the poop tube. You go out the poop tube. I need to feel a breeze on my boys in the morning.

Nothing quite like it. I just need to get this breeze going on in my space suit. Pull out the ass flap on my space suit and you just step outside. Okay, your face shield, your face shield, your outside doing a spacewalk, your face shield breaks. What happens? Sean breaks it because he's jealous. I love you. The problem is a sudden decompression

is a much more violent than a gradual one. So, yeah. So, you have a like a slow leak. No, instant. Like your whole space suit disappears. Because it's like a curse, like a witch, space witch. Yeah, I think you would have multiple ruptures. What do you mean? They've skinny. Oh, the skin, your eyes, your intestines, they would like to explode.

Your stomach. Yeah. In all the races. Well, depending on what they're, how they're oriented, whether they would come in or out. What do you mean? Well, your stomach would just collapse immediately and it should out your mouth. It would shoot out your mouth. Yeah. Why would it collapse? Cause it's pressurized.

Your stomach is pressurized. So it wouldn't, another thing would just blow out. Not everything would blow out. What do you mean everything would blow out? Like you're inside. No, they just blow out of your skin or they blow out of your holes. Oh, blow out of your mouth.

Okay. And your nose. Yeah. What about your ass? Your ass? Okay. Yes, absolutely. And out of your eyes, your nose and your ears.

What about your re-thra? Would you have balls shoot about your re-thra? Would you have balls shoot through your re-thra? Because that I would like to see. Yeah, I'm not first enough in anatomy, too. Okay. To know where the coupling is. Maybe one more. Sean, do you have any questions?

Any science questions? I've been oven putting them in there. Okay. Lacey, do you have any questions? Any science questions? I've been put in them in there. Okay. Lacey, do you have any science questions? No, all right, one more. Is there any reason to go back to the moon? Any reasons you, I mean, anything we could get from it, you know.

It's a pretty good spot to, you know, build stuff. So you can have sex on it. Well, no one had sex on it. I love a new rule. I'm just gonna say it's a lot of you know, have sex on the moon and in space. Also, you take the lunar rover out to a crater somewhere. Yeah. Backse, make sure you have a, you know, four door lunar rover. So you got a crater somewhere. Yeah. Backseat, make sure you have a four-door lunar rover

so you got a backseat. Oh no, the tires are broke. We can't get back to the space shuttle. Right. Oh, shit. We're gonna have to cuddle for warms. Mm-hmm. Right.

Right. And then you, you probably couldn't do that. Could you have any kind of sex in two separate spacesuits? Are there any hatches? That's like in a vacuum. Yeah, in a vacuum. Well, if you had to, could you connect them in any way?

Oh yeah, there's tons of ways to do that. That's just an engineering problem. How, how do you do it? You have an airlock. Where's the airlock though? Where do you think it is? It's down there by the crotch area. It's like the best kind of Chinese twins. So you could pop your airlock open and then pop her glove off and then just connect her arm hole to your growing hole. To keep warm, right? Yeah. And you kind of have to. I'm learning nothing. If you're on the moon, you do what you have to do

If you're on the moon, you do what you have to do to get late. Good advice. Good advice. Okay, thank you, Rocketman. This is very insightful. Do you want to do some news? Lacey, do you want to do news? Did you bring news in? Okay, you want to switch?

Do you want to sit where Jamie's sitting? Can you keep his mic on? Can you keep that mic on? Jamie, you want to sit on the... He's silly comics is here, by the way. Sorry, you're here for this very weird episode. It's a great episode. It's very weird post-Christmas episode.

Don't mention you've been in Antarctica. I was there twice last year? Yeah, how much of our, how much taxpayer money did you waste in Antarctica? I don't want to know. You don't want to know. Somebody asked why they didn't hyperdrive into the Death Star.

Such a stupid question. Because the hyper drive tunnels are predetermined. You don't just hyper drive wherever you want in Star Wars. It's like train tracks. Yeah, it's like off ramps in the freeway. You don't just pick and choose where you hyper drive to computer maps it out. That's why they choose where you hyper drive the computer maps it out.

That's why they have a fucking hyper drive computer. You dick brain. How, why would you need a computer to just go fast? Don't need it. You need it to plot the course. Simple, I could answer that one. How you doing, Lacey? Welcome back. You have news, news for us?

I've got a few articles. How was your Christmas? Christmas is great. Good answer. Good. Saw my little sister. Uh huh. She loved the Plotty's Mat.

Plotty's Mat. I got it with her. You got her a Pilates Mat? Oh my God. Little kid size. A lot of pressure, isn't it? No. Or is it like, she wants to work out with me.

She loves it. Keep them fit. Yeah. Start me up loves it. Keep them fit Fitness clause L.A. chick that goes from door to door giving young girls eating disorders and yoga In some kind of a man that's not yoga back. What's the difference? 10 bucks you You only do. Okay. I also don't speak on yoga pants.

I call them Pilates pants now. Okay. What do you got? All right. Christmas tree harvesters blame 2008 recession for our Christmas tree shortage that we're experiencing. I noticed you have your Christmas tree all set up It looks really nice. Yeah, there's a shortage. There is huge live shortage of live trees a shortage of Christmas trees They're not live anymore when you chop them down

Like they once were live Listen to Rocket Dan too long. Yeah. Good man, those are live trees are such a pain in the ass. They prick you. When you get them, they're always crooked. You get yelled at by your house down. They burn your fucking house down.

Their dogs piss on them and all the presents. All, it's like a constant. It's like moving a Christmas tree and it has like babysitting a geriat and older grandparent that's incontinent and stupid. Like you gotta keep the dog away from it all the time. True, they try to, at best they try to drink out of it. At worst they piss all over it.

All over it, my fucking Cocker Spaniel as a kid would just cover our president's and his is that the one of the year is that the conquer spaniel that was murdered yeah yeah yeah uh... yeah very sad uh... and then the second christmas is over stop related to that not related to the murdered by his murder by another dog

uh... and it was it was drowned. Drowned in a Christmas tree. Drowned in a Christmas tree. It was drowned in a Christmas tree. Jumped in and trying to save the Christmas tree. So I have a reflection of the Christmas tree in the pool.

Jumped in trying to save it. That's terrible. It was terrible. How old was I? I think I was like 20 or something. Something like that. I knew it really? I think it was before 20 or something. Something like that. Like, really? I think it was before that, wasn't it?

12? I don't know. I was legal. That's why you're asking. If you're wondering why you should be turned on by people, sorry. I'm actually gonna limitation myself. It was, yeah, I was legal.

I'm kidding. The second Christmas is over, it just turns into garbage in your house. Yeah. And you got a pull. You sound like my mom. She's the day after Christmas. She's got a lot of issues.

Yeah, so what, there was a shortage of them? Big, fucking deal. So the recession in 2008, the Christmas tree harvesters were not selling as many Christmas trees because everyone was broke. Christmas year. They didn't plant as many as they usually do because they could get rid of their haul.

So 10 years later, fast forward, trees grow by a foot every year. Oh, I see. Eight, 10 feet tall trees. Not so many of them now. Is that why we get a recession every 10 years? Because of Christmas trees? Because of Christmas trees. No, I don't think so. Yeah, big lumber 10 years? Because of Christmas trees? Because of Christmas trees.

No, I don't think so. They're big lumber. So, everybody got plastic trees, and they're never gonna switch out. Because the plastic fucking trees have the lights built in. That's cool. Oh, yeah. Yeah, but now we have laser trees. No, those are fucking terrible.

But then you can't smell that beautiful, nice Christmas tree. I can only smell bigger. You don't like that. Spray it everywhere. Spray it everywhere. Chemicals. We have the technology. Oh my goodness. Okay, what else do you have?

Oh, I have a little bit of sperm news for you as well. Great. Talking a lot about some of the real sperm and a while. Have you ever gotten a facial? Of senior? No, just regular facial. Just regular facial. Mmm. I have... I've gotten one of those like... No, just regular facial. Just regular facial.

I have, I've gotten one of those like, yeah, I've had chicks have like put stupid scrubs on, like they, it feels like someone's rubbing like. Blood masks. A wrap-o on your face? Yeah, yeah, I've had that. Okay, well, a British model turned fashion blogger, recently shared that Simon facials are her new secret remedy against rosacea.

Mm-hmm. So after a beautician suggested an acid facial for the rosacea, Tracy Chris took matters into her own hands and now applies a daily dose of semen to her rosy cheeks to get her skin. Yeah. That's a good question. Yeah. She didn't. She didn't.

She didn't. She didn't. She didn't. She didn't. She didn't. She, right. It's great. Human, Seaman? Human, Seaman. Oh, man. That girl, if I ever was a billionaire, I would be like George Soros, except instead of trying to destroy Western civilization, I would just be trying to get, like, chicks to promote doing degenerate things like that. Yeah.

There'd be some basement. Just fun and half ass studies that. Yeah, But there'd be some basement. Just fun and half ass studies that. Yeah, about semen on the face. Like, oh yeah, you got to do, it's good for, it prevents colon cancer if you do anal like, on a guy's birthday. Oh my god.

And on your birthday. I feel like that encourages it. Yes, that would be the point of my evil organization to demean women, would be multi-villion dollar charity. If it's just the same as a global warming or you can promote an entire, an entire, what the fuck are you talking about? We should ask him about global warming.

What do you think about? No, no, don't do that. Okay. Okay. Where's you think about it? No, no, don't do that. Okay. Okay. Where's your sense of fun? Dermatologists everywhere are pissed. They say not to do it. Don't put semen on your,

ah, those fucking ass holes. They say they're several areas of concern, including sexually transmitted diseases. Like, you try to, I mean, you break. I mean, you break. That makes perfect sense. Totally. All those pores.

That's true. There are tests for that. Yeah. The model says though. It's like a blood transfusion. Yeah, the model says what? She says that it feels like a face pack that pulls on the skin inward.

So it feels so glossy when you wipe it off. And it's like having oil on the face. Oh, it kind of, you know, when you like, when you're post-banging and you lay in bed for a while and it dries, everything dries up, it does feel like, it does feel tight. That's interesting. Well, what an idiot.

And it's all natural. It's all natural. It is all natural, organic. Depending on what you eat. What else you got? So, a bride's... It's organic anyway. Doesn't matter what you eat.

No? No. Yeah. Oh, actually, okay. Uh-oh. I mean. That's true. Yeah.

Okay. So, a bride's poisonous flower bouquet ruined her wedding day. Oh, no. This is kind of sad. I doubt it. I'll bet it's more funny. Was it the dog? 23 year old Christine Jo Miller experienced a bad reaction to the flowers that she picked

just a day prior to her big day. The bride thought that using flowers from her own 29 acre plot of land near Lincoln, Nebraska, called Snow on the Mountains. Have you heard of those flowers? No, no. I have. And I for sure knew that they were poisonous.

Mm-hmm. But anyways, it would be a romantic touch and they actually ended up ruining the day. So Miller didn't know that she was allergic or that these flowers would be poisonous until she washed her face the morning before her wedding. And it was a skull. And just completely broke out.

I got my red skull. Her eyes swelled up so much that she couldn't even see anything and she tripped like down the aisle twice for her rings. I'm gonna pee in her roll bonner. She's like Mr. McGoo. She turned into Mr. McGoo. How did she die? She didn't die. Oh. Yeah, she turned into Mr. McGoo. How did she die? She didn't die.

Oh. Yeah, she lived a tell about it. Oh. She spent her whole entire reception laying underneath her grandparents' table with ice packs on her eyes. She's never gonna stop telling that fucking story. She's gonna be 80 years old. Oh, have a good wedding.

By the way, remember when I was getting married and I got those flowers and it totally fucked up and I was like, oh my God. But she had two weeks to tell us. She went up with them on her property all of her life. She never knew that. She knew that. Well, and how would never went outside?

Yeah, right. How late can you cancel a wedding photographer? Never. Like the morning of? No. Oh, god. Oh, no. Oh, no.

Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no.

Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. less likely you can cancel it. Yeah. Like a, yeah, I'd lock you in. Because I know you're gonna lie in. But Dumber,

I've already put a deposit. The Dumber, I'll purchase in. The harder it is to back out of. Okay. Yeah, that makes sense. Wedding photographer, oh, you stepped into my store. I'm gonna need a deposit.

For the remainder of your time walking around, looking at the store. Yeah. So snow on the mountain. Yes, snow on the mountains. How did you know those were dangerous? Because I grew up in Oregon. So they're all the way from...

They're all the way from... ...and from... ...and from... ...and from some people. They cause allergic reactions. Like peanuts. Like peanuts. Like peanuts.

Like peanuts. Like peanuts. Sure. I mean, I've never touched them, so I personally, I guess, I don't truly know if they're poisonous and not, but I've definitely heard that they're not good. Okay. Okay, what else do you have? Yeah, Darryl Strawberry just admitted a huge confession. Did you hear about this? Well, he was on Coke for the entire eight days.

No. So Metstar, Darryl Strawberry, opened up about his addictions in the past, like drugs and alcohol and everything. But today, actually, he revealed that he fit in quickies in between innings while he was playing baseball. He banged chicks. He banged chicks. He would bang chicks. He would literally pick them out in the crowd during warmups and everything and send somebody

over. They would go pick the chicks and he coaches, players would cover for him and he'd leave in between innings and just go fuck somebody and come right back and play. Wow. He must really love baseball. Yeah, it's an outfield. He probably did it. I'll bet what happened was he had probably just

batted the ending before. So he knows this one. Yeah. More players, he knows he's got time. You know, outfielder. Yeah. Oh, yeah. We don't have to do shit.

You don't even have to go out sometimes. Wow, what a hero. Awesome, same. Yeah, awesome, and insanely awesome. Well, but you know, now he's a born again Christian, so he's reaching out to. Perfect. Nobody else can have any fun. This is ad for being a born again,

this is ad for Christ. Basically. I did everything I ever wanted to do. And it wasn't fulfilling, so don't do any. Hey, everybody, I found God, Basically. I did everything I ever wanted to do. And it wasn't fulfilled. So don't do any of that. Hey everybody, I found God. So I need to tell you all how cool I am.

And was check out this cool shit that I did. And I can tell you now because I've accepted Jesus Christ into my life. So everybody turns into such a fucking asshole and they find God They stopped drinking Talk about all this awesome sex that you are not having Yeah Did he have a like a Wrangler? Yeah, I mean he'd pick him out and send somebody to go get them Coaches and players were in on it

Huh, yeah, how that's the other coaches? Yeah, sexual strategy. He should have just farm raised them The time travel. Well, I mean, yeah, oh from farm leagues. Yeah, or whatever That'd be a that'd be a fun job so many chicks walk out like a lot of baseball games like hundred 62 year Beg's Austin. Yeah Okay to your big, exhausting. Yeah. Okay. Yeah.

Moving on. College students drink so much at a recent frapp party that the air in the house registered on a breathalyzer when the cops walked in. Register. The alcohol in the air. Yeah. What?

What? What? 0.01. Oh, it's a lot more than that. 0.01. Is it? Yeah. Okay. That's more. Yes. Isn't that crazy? Well, it also means that all other frats are basically bitches. Yeah. If they can't, if you can't mount a breathalyzer in your frat house and have that thing start going.

Ready? I know. That's the bar. Yeah, then you are not having a fun party. Exactly. Huh. That's cool. The six guys that organize the party are facing fines of up to $315,000. What for pollution? Christmas. No, for furnishing alcohol to a minor and underage possession of alcohol.

It's global warming. You're not going to talk about that. Oh, you're furnishing alcohol to a minor and underage position of alcohol. It's global warming. You're not going to talk about that. What are you? You're furnishing alcohol to a minor. God, 18-year-olds really fucked that up. Yeah. They can join the army, but they can't drink. Yeah.

They just, like, why did they stop at 21 for that? They should have gone all the way up to 25. But you can't, yeah, then you can't rent a car for another four years. If 18 to 21-year-olds are so fucked and lazy that they couldn't get the right to drink, what? They have a say in it. You can drink on base at 18. Do they ever say, yeah, if you're in the army, you used to be able to drink at 18.

And then they just voted and pissed it away. Because the federal government came in and said, we're not giving you, we're not giving you highway funds unless you meet, unless you change your state drinking laws to match the federal ones. So all the states said, yeah. So all the states said, well, we need that highway money because we got a bunch of like, we're paying a bunch of slabs to maintain those highways. So yeah, 18 to 21, you're fucked. What about the army?

No, you guys could still, no. We're doing both. You could go to Iraq, but you can't drink. I thought you could drink on this. Well, all of our highways are still shit anyway, so why does that even, you can drink on an army base at 18? I, Andrew would know.

Andrew's more, I think so. Yeah, Andrew's more again. I think so. Yeah, the idea that it's underage that you're in college is preposterous. It's kind of fucked. It's extremely fucked. It's extremely fucked. You can have an automatic weapon in a tank. I thought you can't have a shot. I fucking agree. But you can't have a shot. I fucking agree.

But you can't motivate these people to do anything except Bernie Sanders. Like they would rather Sean, an 18 year old, would rather talk about socialism than drink a beer. That's how big a pussy's these kids are. Hey, you guys, you want to go to a rally about being legally allowed to like drink and act like a human in public with everybody else?

18 to 20? No, I'd rather stay at home and talk about socialism. Yeah, that we... What the fuck is wrong with you? You got all your life to talk about socialism. You got three years to drink underage. Get your fucking ass in the rally. You stupid prick.

Let me say one thing. Okay. I disclose in my astronaut application that I was arrested twice for minor imposition. Yeah. But it's bullshit. It's bullshit. It's completely bullshit. Did it ever come up in like the application process?

Did they talk to you about it? They did. They didn't talk to me about it. They're just like, who fucking cares? I just disclose that. And I have to disclose that in every fucking pilot. You're like a fucking pariah. Aviation medical.

Yeah. I will have you when it happened just a six. I was 18 and there's 20. Andrew. In 19, Eugene, Oregon says you could have a beer off base and burying, but not on base. Oh, yeah. Yeah. But I mean, in general, so nowhere on base, nowhere on base, can you drink?

That's what he says. If Bernie, if it would have been Trump versus Bernie Sanders, that would have all Trump would have had to say was that, Hey, Bernie, do you think people aged 18 to 21 should be able to drink? Said, no, that's illegal. And then he would have just walked off. Yeah. His entire base would have eroded. Oh, Trump, Trump tower. If it was legal, I would serve all of you for free. Sovereign ground. It's such bullshit.

I can't look an 18 year old in the face in their eyes when they're talking about anything. It's like, yeah, but you can't drink, man. Start there. Start there because every single, every single man in America will support you. If any of you, if you guys can put together like some kind of liquor Jesus for the 18-year-olds to campus, we have had enough, we've had enough dying for oil. It's time to die for beer. We've had enough. Start with weed and we have. Yeah, we figured out weed.

Why don't you kids figure out your liquor? Get it back. Get it back. You think you're getting free college, but you can't even pay for beer? Are you nuts? People are dying to sell you beer. Tripping over themselves. Government will make a lot of money,

wouldn't they? Yeah, a lot of money. They're more than weed. Yeah, more than with weed. Yeah. Yeah, all right. You got anything else? That's all the news. Okay, very, very good news. Thank you very much. Let's see here. I got a song. Oh, Jamie, there's a Mario Paint version of the theme for the show. Do you remember when Jamie requested that last week? Yeah, I do. Somebody put it together. Vista's put it together. This is Mario Paint. I don't know how this is supposed to sound, but somebody put it together.

It's a little bit of a little version of Sean that's running along in a music track. There you go. So it's just midi downloaded from the internet. I don't know, like a virtual instrument. It's Mario Paint. There's little Mario guys and mushrooms. There's a little shawne running around. I got, so it's a game. I got no one right on the ship.

That's not a must. Yeah, I got an advice question too. Lacey, you want to give this guy some advice? You want to help give this guy some advice? I don't want to give him some advice. There you go. Thank you. Thank you, Vista's formerly known as ACU. Hey, Dick, I'm bad at approaching women.

Absolutely terrified of it. In fact, but pretty good at talking to them normally outside that. Plus, I'm tall and good looking. So the only real obstacle is the approach. I never do it. I want to badly, but even loaded with all your dictips I can never work up the nerve. I'm in a five-year dry spell, man. Oh my god I sometimes forget that I've even had sex. Oh

That's the correct reaction All the girls that I get opportunities to talk to naturally either have boyfriends or gross me out. Uh oh. Oh well. One one chick immediately talked about how she was going to smoke a bunch of weed after class. Okay.

Another chick I was getting into said she was an alcoholic. Hmm. Usually they don't say it. Yeah, you know. Yeah. Usually chicks who say they're alcoholics just want you to pay for their drinks. Or attention for their drinks.

Yeah. Yeah. Which is bad on its own, but easy lay. Which probably wasn't true, but still gross. What's wrong with women? No. Nope, that's not the right question. Do they not understand what to say and what not to say?

Do they get paid per boner killed? What do I do, Dick? Sign up for Christian mingle. Oh, man, if you think, if you think, if you think alcoholic, if you think chicks who party are annoying, wait till you find ones that believe in God. Fuck me, able, ask Blader.

You ever heard anybody, what do you, what do you, any advice? Well, first I was going to say, take the pressure off yourself because he was talking about the approach, but then he flipped it and put the blame on the women. Yeah, because they're grossing it out. And it's just like, change your surroundings. Don't approach those type, you can, no.

Sounds like sour grapes a little bit, doesn't it? Yeah. Because I've heard guys talk like this before, like, oh, he's, you can't meet a chicken bit doesn't yeah, cuz I've heard guys talk like this for like all these day You can't meet a chicken bar. So are horrors Hmm, I get I guess what are you then? Like it doesn't it doesn't break if you thank you double standards Well

I get yeah, I guess it depends on how you're acting at the bar. You know what? You got to you got to fuck them before you can criticize them. That is, yeah, that's, girls are getting a lot of flack in this email, but they're not getting fucked. Like if you can, if you can fuck these gross girls or whatever, then I will believe these criticisms. But until then, I think it's sour, great. I do too. Prove it. Prove it.

If it's, prove this to me. Prove to me that you really think this by fucking one of them. Exactly. Just for fun, right? Five years ago. He's making assumptions. He's making assumptions. Plus it's only these two examples that she gets us to use in alcoholic. Right? Five years. Five years. Five years. Five years.

Five years. Five years. Five years. Five years. Five years. Five years. Five years. Five years.

Five years. Five years. Five years. Five years. Five years. Five years. Five years. Five years.

Five years. Five years. Five years. Five years. Five years. Five years. Five years. Five years. over like meeting, they only wanna fuck, like Jesus' mom. Go to the gym. Like, they only wanna fuck, well, they only wanna fuck with their mom. Anybody, anybody who's like,

Hunter, Harnie, people, the gym. Anybody who's, Harnie, pop people. Anybody who's slightly less of like the Madonna to them, they don't wanna waste their time on. It's weird. Cause they're kinda right. Yet they don't know, they don't want to waste their time on. It's weird. Because they're kind of right. Yet they don't know.

They don't know what? They don't know where their mom came from. They don't know where their mom came from. Yeah. That's why space exploration is so- They're kind of right. Like I get that feeling of being grossed out by- We can't fuck.

Yeah, I get that feeling of being grossed out by chicks who are like talking about doing weed smoking weed All the fucking time doing the weed Doing handfuls of the weed all the time but You got a plow on to prove it right? Yeah, how do you know otherwise? Yeah, I mean though it was weird how he flipped it on them He flipped it like why yeah like why do women do this? I'm sorry

I'm in the beginning gross me out so much. What do you think you should do? Changes surroundings to do you know I said the gym the gym yeah, there's no chicks at the gym There are in LA. Oh man No chicks There's no chicks at the gym. There are in LA. Oh man. No chicks. Check the gym. Chicks at the gym are a horrible thing. He should take a Pilates class.

A Pilates class. Okay. I'm saying. Christian Monty and most speakers don't produce. He says, you know, the dog, we had the dog whistle conversation last week. Most speakers don't produce ultrasonic frequencies. Yeah. I guess it's possible that you mess with the dog with a sound in the, in the 16 to 20 kilohertz

range, which is hardly audible for most people, but the story sounds pretty fishy to me. Yeah. I mean, some speakers go up above that, but I mean, he's right. Like I think dogs here up to like 45 K. Yeah. I can't just think of any speakers that go up that high. I didn't even think of that. He's right. Let's see.

The more on the bonus episode, those fucking fruit flies. One mistake. You leave some tomatoes from your Mexican food and the container that came in. Kobayashi, fucking maru. Those little fuckers and their red eyes have infinite space to fly in. The whole world is theirs to roam. Nope. They got to fly in circles around my face talking about fruit flies. He's very triggered by it.

No. Joe Mutch is talking about the bonus episode that we just released. Let me protect you from making an ass of yourself. That's what it always sounded like every time Maddox was reading some dumb list or playing a boring unnecessary audio clip, you interrupted it with humor to try to make it more interesting. Yeah, it's true. You were saving him from himself that was always obvious to me. Also, listening back. Yeah, it was obvious, actually. He's right.

You immediately managed to turn around and make it funny or carry on letting him sound like an idiot. There you go. Let's see. I got Mad Cuck sent in an invoice. Do you want to hear that? I do. Asterios sent me a $600 invoice

that he spent in the course of a day and a half, including a yogurt parfait that he ordered at the airport after he arrived home. The eight three times at the airport. The eight three times at one airport. Is this the first time he's been on a trip? First time he's been on a trip, someone else paid for it. Yeah. Just me, a guy, someone else paid for him.

Yeah. Just me, a guy, he's invoicing, like I'm just a guy, he knows. His friend. His, yeah. Well, yeah, friend slash ATM. Yeah. Because he's serious when he gave it to you.

I guess he sent it. I'm 100% serious, he emailed it. He's 100% serious. Here's my invoice for $600. It includes the Uber I took to a costume store and where I live for $30. Why did you take an Uber? Does he not have a car?

Well, he lives in New York. The question is, why not take a train? And the other question is, why are you making someone pay for a costume that you? Why are you eating three times? And why are you invoicing me for a yogurt parfait that you bought after you got home? A guy that you a guy you know, not a company, not the government, just a guy. If he would have just texted me, a buddy, I'm sure you don't mind that I'm picking up a $20 yogurt parfait now that I've got home, you're good for that, right?

He figures as no, no. If he hasn't walked in his door, he's technically still on the trip. Yeah, for me, he hasn't taken his hand off the game piece. That's not my move, I didn't take my hand off it. He hasn't gone through the door yet, so he's still traveling. Mad Cux sent 100 snacks, $4, hand damage, $68. Didn't buy him a beer fee. Mad Cux is invoicing there for 18 bucks on that. Okay.

Crown storage, 1768. Robert's his rubber stamp, his disavowal stamp, six bucks. Yeah. An ink pad, six dollars. Doctors visit for hand, $300 a disappearance fee. I don't know what that is. Hooked on phonics lessons. Oh boy. Uber to McGee's five bucks, Lousy pillow at the Airbnb for the books. With being a manager is.

Yeah, not getting thanked for the snacks properly, 20 bucks. Oh. Thank you letter writing. He built me for that. Legal sum, Apostro to Ash V. He built me for that legal. Some Apostro to Ash Fee. He's got an Apostro fee. See what he did. Yeah. Yeah, towel cleaning. Disadvows. Hunter, he charged me two bucks for every disavowal again. Okay. Shutting up the crowd for Peach's story. Yeah.

Eight bucks. Getting all my stuff to the venue in one go, 13 bucks, because you know, he should, you got all his stuff to the venue. So he's charging me a fee for that. Yeah. Because it could be worse if you didn't get it off the venue. That was his job, wasn't it? No, that usually, that's just what people do is take all their things from one place to the other.

I guess you could call that a job. Yeah. Bell ringing for correctness. You're welcome fees, fee processing fee. Hanging out with Sean discount. Okay. $57. No.

Reading. He's got $2,200, $98, $2,90, $70. Mad Cux fees. What did it come up to? $2,278. $9,000. $1, to? $2,278. That's a $4. $9.

In the grand scheme of things. Then I got served with this lawsuit from Nick Riquita. Oh no. Yeah. From a stereoscoconos plaintiff, answers a complaint in this action. Why do you answer your door? I got emailed this. He's suing me proper service. You're right me Diego Jordan

cope a Ramma manual John an Uber driver Uber Dera course Walshwe and Donald Trump. Asterios is suing. Something you she don't reply to that email you haven't been served. Okay, I'll keep that in mind. Thank you. Okay, man. Trying to find an as your lawyer. Oh, he's taking apart Diego's deconstruction of a stereotype. I'll post it. Okay. I'm not going to read. It's eight pages long, what I'm getting sued for. Double spaced. I don't know. I don't, is that double spaced? Yes.

How many times is it targeted harassment campaign? Let me see. I can't find any. Defendants use their knowledge of plaintiff's personal situation. Oh, there you go. Ethnicity, pending litigation and stress eating. You're bringing your face into this. To mock and belittle plaintiff. Hmm.

plaintiff has suffered severe emotional harm and is currently seeking counsel due to the direct actions of defendants. As demonstrated starting at 45, 30 in the podcast, defendant statements are a gross violation of cultural normative communication and go far beyond any concept of reasonableness. Yeah. Yeah. Intentional and flixander. So another lawsuit, I guess. I got to have a key on look at it.

Yeah. All right, you want to do some voicemails? Yeah. Okay, let's do some end of the year voicemails. Do you have any predictions for 2018? Before we do that? Pain. Pain.

Yeah. Okay, everybody go to dick.show, thedickshow.com, patreon.com slash, 2018 before we do that pain pain yeah Okay Everybody go to dick.show the dick show dot com patreon dot com slash the dick show rock and man Thanks for being here and Answering all these questions about science. You're welcome. Oh now he gets on the mic I don't know why I don't know what it is that nobody is in the studio can put their fucking mouth on the microphone. Why is that? I don't know.

Is it just the show that happens in? No, I just think I, I mean, you know, people who don't do it on time. I'm gonna start strapping it to everybody's head like a thing back. Can I say something? Yeah, what? Sometimes I can't see over the screen.

That's why I can't feel a little bit. It's a hot filter. It's terrible. Thank you. I hope you make it intimidating. I hope you make it into space and I hope you get the hand job Thank you. I hope you make it intimidating. I hope you make it into space, and I hope you get the hand job in space. I hope you're one of the first people

who can say that you got a hand job in space. And to the poop shoot. I hope you get it. There. And to the poop shoot. I thought that had to be. Yeah, or the mouth. Either one, either one.

Do something. Even if it's from a guy, listen to me. Even if it's from a guy, if you go into space and you don't get a hand job, that's worse than it's from a guy listen to me even if it's from a guy if you go into space and you don't get a hand job that's worse than it's from a guy. You're a straight I know you're a straight guy but if you get up there and even if there's no chicks up there you have to get somebody to jack you off in space that is a that is a first for the show just give me a wink. That's an imperative.

Yeah, I know you can't say that you did it if you are in space and it happens, but you gotta like, you need a canary on your Twitter profile or something that you can just remove. So I will know secretly that you did get a hand job from a guy in space. There'll be a pixel lit up for you. Yeah, if you get back, if you get back

and I say, hey, congratulations on going to space and you say, thank you, then I will know that will be our secret code. So everybody needs hand, everybody needs hand jobs in space, right? Yeah, so like, why don't they send up chimps anymore because they can, they're basically their hands and feet are like the same thing, right? Efficiency. That's a lot of extra shit. What are you talking about? Like a chimp gang band, hand job, hand bang? Yeah, I mean, you want to get this done. Train chimp. Would you trust even more?

No, would you trust the brightest men's dicks in the world with a chimp grip? I'm not. Are you insane? You're gonna shred you're gonna shred so much I can also in the space of 10 minutes They're there's an intense amount of training to be done. Yeah, yeah to what for the chip to be able to Jerk something yeah, I did not think that one You were talking about hand jobs from guys. Yeah, I did not think that one through that stupid. That's millions of dollars. Because you were talking about hand jobs from guys. Yeah, that's easy.

Yeah, I don't need any training for that. And that guy will totally understand. You're gonna be like, look dude, first of all, people can't make fun of us, because it's a new progressive age in America. You know how bad they're gonna look? Making fun of two dudes jerking each other off. This is a big step for us.

They're gonna write movies about the two guys who broke back Mountain in space. And you make sure you get yours first and then don't give it, don't get him off. Yeah, you're like, that makes you, that makes you gay because the hand job was already done. That's when the yawn comes in handy. Yeah. Oh, okay, Gary Go check out the projections on the telemetrics. Please for the asteroid that we're heading to yeah

You have to get a hand somebody asked to get a hand job in space. Do not let Richard Branson or Elon Musk get the first hand job in space private space do not let Richard Branson or Elon Musk get the first hand job in space. There's no fucking. This fucking Tesla is going going to Mars before anyone else. Hey buddy, Tesla's not going anywhere. The Tesla is going straight into the fucking ground because Tesla's entire profits was given to them by the government and Trump said no, no more. That's we're not we're not doing that anymore.

There's no more Tesla. Well, there's a lot of momentum. They can't make a fucking car. Oh, no, there's that anymore. There's no more Tesla while there's a lot of momentum They can't make a fucking car. Oh, no, there's no momentum. There's no Tesla That's a problem. Make a car. They can't make a production run. They can't keep their fucking cars running They can't make a goddamn dollar off of them They have a lot of bullshit. They have a lot of bullshit. Listen That honor belongs to a scientist They have a lot of bullshit. Listen, that honor belongs to a scientist.

The first hand job in space. Yeah. Not a celebrity. Exactly. Not some stupid celebrity. You know what I mean. I'm with you. Okay. At least record it for safety. You don't have to announce it. There's been a dig show. It has. Does anything make you a rage by the way about science? I feel like I wasted all your time with these dumb questions. Yeah. So I get them all the time. Dumb questions?

Yeah. What's the dumbest question you've ever got from somebody? I get on the fucking microphone, you're talking. I couldn't say. You couldn't say. No. What do people ask you about Get on there. I get on the aliens. They ask you about I can hear myself. I'm in front of him. There you go Well, I know you can hear yourself. You're talking. Yeah

No, I've got I've got cans on man. No now you can hear yourself No, I can hear myself. Do we come to your place to work and tell you how to jerk man off in space? Don't tell us how to do our fucking job. Speak in the microphone. Jerk them off. What if people ask you about aliens? Like on the plane? Why, why, where else would they? No, like what do they ask you about aliens? Yeah. It's so stupid. Same thing that was asked tonight. Yeah, like what do they ask you about aliens? Yeah. It's so stupid. Same thing that was asked tonight. Yeah, like why do they anal probe?

Or are there aliens? They tell you like what they think. That's what people do with scientists. They go like, hey, what do you think about like, if there was aliens, would they visit us? Because here's what I think. And then they just tell you they're completely stupid theory based on nothing. So I guess this week there were a bunch of UFO

like sightings. Yeah, they were pretty credible. The hell does that mean? Not credible at all. incredible at all. Well, if they're, I didn't see them, so I don't know. Yeah. But at the same time, technology has progressed so much that everyone has a cell phone. Right. No.

And so you have a lot more exposure. They have the fact that you have you have no absolute measurement of the the distance to any of these. What do they see? So fucking light. Oh, and they go it goes like this. Oh, yeah, it's got to be aliens. Oh man. It could be a drone, could be some air force thing. Yeah. Right.

I hate aliens. So, you know how an alien would be? If aliens showed up on Earth, do you know of their species, they would be the least desirable ones of their entire, like imagine what they left their planet of abundance and paradise to go meet a bunch of creatures to them? A bunch of talking apes. Yeah, this is what they chose to do. They're so fucking sanctimonious that they would swoop in and dane

whether or not to give us their space technology. Get fucked. We have a word for aliens like that on our planet. Assholes. It's the assholes that would go around because people that were doing, the aliens that were doing shit would be making microvers versus or doing or time traveling

or whatever not joy writing around the universe to show off for monkey men. Let me let me go one step further. Okay. And say, maybe there aren't any aliens. No aliens. Maybe we are the aliens. Is that what you're saying? Maybe we are the aliens, maybe we were populated by the true species. What the fuck are you talking about?

Really? Okay. So, you know, there are people that are trying to create life from women. And then they try to shake you down for 18 years. Even more basic than that. That's a damn fine joke. That's an excellent joke. I was expecting it. That's how they get their fucking claws in you. Like this creating life shit.

fucking claws in you like this creating life shit. So so starting from across the, you know, in front of you. To having it, having it spontaneously build itself up to a skyscraper higher, probably, I don't have, I haven't run the numbers, but like, to the moon. You have a number of building blocks that it takes to build a skyscraper. I haven't have a skyscraper up to the moon. Okay.

So they're insane odds. Yeah. By randomness. Yeah. Right. That is exactly what our life as we know it has become. And that happened randomly. Yeah. Are you saying we should go to Vegas or what? What are you talking about? What are we already went to Vegas in one? Yeah, because we're here. Could be better.

It could be better. You know what I mean? And who wants to push their luck? So what are you saying that there's no, that aliens made us? What the hell, what are you saying? Yeah, I'm saying it is as we know how things work. Like probably, probabilistically. We should not be here.

Or there is a very low probability that other places could be as lucky. Yeah. Even in the known universe, it's like, you take a probabilistic approach that is like one in 10 trillion. Okay. Right? Yeah. And that's a huge number.

Yeah. And you go one until Trit 10 trillion even below that. Yeah. That's a bigger number. So what? That's the odds that we shouldn't be here. That's the odds of it happening. Yeah. Yeah. Because how do you know that, though? The only reason that we're here to ask that question is because it happened one time. You don't think this happened ever again? What if your math is a little bit fucked up? Yeah, exactly.

You guys can't even jerk off in space and you're telling me that it's trillions and trillions and all this yet. You get away with so much you scientists, all this fucking predicting, get on the fucking microphone. What are the odds of you getting on the microphone? I can't hear myself. You can't even jack a guy off it. You guys can't jack a guy off in space. And you're telling me that the odds of whatever are so nuts

that we shouldn't even be here to be asking this question. Yeah. You jack a guy off in space and then come back to me with that, that, uh, panse Samara, that, uh, whatever fucking noise you're telling me about, uh, Spont life being placed here. Yeah. Then you tell me about that. Is it because the RNA is so complex?

Yeah. Just, not because they need a, you know because they need more budget, that's why. No, yeah, RNA you tell us go. RNA is a big step from amino acids. Sounds like a lot, huge, you know, bigger step than, I mean, then people think, obviously. It's a huge step. Yes.

RNA? Yeah. And like you some RNA right here. No problem. No problem. It's easy once you have it. Yeah. So that's the big impediment? That that step you think? Oh yeah. That's a huge step. And other steps are probably not as big. RNA is also very big, but it's not as big as RNA. Oh, okay.

Very interesting. You were interested by that. Absolutely. Just a bunch of bullshit. I'm interested in what it costs. What is odds? Oh my God. Somebody should give some people money.

Here's how. Okay. I'm not that interested. Here's some odds for you. Last Christmas, this is a true story. Tell me, tell me what the odds are going to get way too drunk on Christmas this year. A 10 trillion, I want to a trillion, and then below that, another trillion. I think it's 10 trillion to 10 trillion.

What is that? That's very high odds. Yeah, guys, it's's a certainty isn't it? Yeah, all right whatever Hope you enjoyed this weird fucking science episode Thanks rock and man for filling everyone's heads with lies. Yeah boy Thank you, Lacey Paley comment you you want to say what makes you a rage at all? Come on good on get on this guy's mic show rock and man, how to talk into a fucking microphone.

You can't do it. It's just what makes you a rage. This is he, he, silly comics, who does the thumbnails for the show, all the very cute thumbnails that I do love. She's been banned from Twitter for thought crimes. She's done gab at, what's your gab adress, gab done. He, he silly comics.

He, he silly comics. All right, what makes you rage? He, he silly comics. When people take their sketchbooks out and they have really bad drawings in it. Oh, you're an artist, so people show you their sketchbooks. And it looks like something from Deviant art. And it looks like a bunch of sonics that they don't take it out to draw anything.

They just casually take it out and just like a bunch of Sonic. They don't take it out to draw anything. They just casually take it out and just like leave it out there. And they expect people to walk by and be like, oh, that swell, you know. Where are they? Where are they doing this? Oh my gosh. But then do a real artist. You're like, you think you're so fucking cool. I have people do that to me before and it's like, and when you have an art class with somebody like in high school when I had art class with people, there was this girl and she always had this sketchbook and she'd walk up to me and be like, oh, do you like my drawings?

Oh no, she wouldn't say that. The thing she would do is she'd walk up to me and be like, I like your drawings. Now look at mine. Now look at mine. That's how it makes sense. It's always, every compliment is a trick to enslave you in some way.

Yeah, it's like a compliment. Did you give her honest feedback? I didn't say anything. I didn't actually like her because she looked like her boyfriend. Wait, what did you say? She looked like a twin version of her boyfriend. I thought it was weird. That is weird.

Yeah. So you just got a letter, slide on by. And she wore bad hats. And I didn't like that either. She were bad. Yeah. It's usually like really super just like really autistic people who just take their sketch was out and leave them out there.

It's not something normal people do. Like with a tip jar? No, it's just like casually. If I just like took it out and left it right there and it was like blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, just like looking at people and just like leaving it out and then like they expect people to like comment on it. Try and get noticed. How come I can't just whip my dick out?

I mean, that would be a conversation. It's not, there's nothing offensive about it. Yeah, nothing. Other than what it looks like. Sitting, excuse me. I don't know, my fucking dick looks like. All dicks aren't. All dicks are offensive to you.

I mean. Not safe for fucking women. All dicks are offensive to you. They're not the funniest things I've ever seen. I don't look at a dick like you guys. I'm like, oh my god. I'm ready with your squirrel arms flapping around that we have the fucking tolerate.

What do you mean they're not the prettiest things in the world. So what neither is a fucking highway or a combine that harvest corn that you Fucking eat that you need to live neither is anything else. What do you got a dick shame us for not having a pretty dick? So what? So that's supposed to be pretty that doesn't mean you have to lock it away and pants for its whole life. That's supposed to be pretty, that doesn't mean you have to lock it away in pants for its whole life. Like Nelson Mandela, your dick's never allowed to see the outside world. You just have special areas where you can take it out and touch it. Like you got busted by social services and you need to be supervised while you're talking to your kids. Do you want to whip your dick out in front of your kids?

I would like a world without penis shame, where you could just sit at a Starbucks and whip, and if someone's got their sketch pad out, showing off grotesque caricatures that they've drawn of Sonic the Hedgehog, what are they drawing? These sketchbooks. The last time it happened, the girl drew an anime version of herself.

Oh, disgusting it disgusting? Yeah. That's more disgusting than any dick I've ever seen. And I've seen millions of dicks, millions of dicks, millions of dicks I've seen, millions. Yeah, you're in the astronaut program. I don't think there's been a day in my life where I haven't seen at least 10 penises.

Do you remember the prettiest dick that you've ever seen? Um, no. And who it belongs to? No. No. No. So you're saying that they're all pretty. They're not, they don't need to be pretty. They're just dicks. They're just there. They don't need to be judged on anything. Actually, Lacey, not their butt, not their size or their thickness or whatever shit you guys have moved on to. So then if you're expecting a compliment from somebody walking by, is it based on functionality? I don't want to be spoken to ever. I don't want anyone to talk at me or look at me, I want to be left the fuck alone.

I don't talk to anybody. I don't need my dick acknowledged at all. I just don't need it to be shamed like constantly. As though it's somehow uglier than someone's suicide note to the world sketchbook that they have open in front of them as though a penis is more of a fence than that. Sick, lazy. All right, everybody. See you next Tuesday. Thanks, he's silly. Thank you, Dave.

You can stay there. Okay, do I? This dumpster flames by Water Boy. Oh no, no, this dumpster, Water Boy remix by dumpster flames. Oh, it's not the prettiest thing. That's how fuck to have. I don't know my heart rate monitor on either.

Great. You going away for Christmas, right? This from Skins fan, I'm on Reddit. The burger rage guy reminded me, you know it makes me a rage, and my wife and I go out to breakfast and she orders oatmeal. We're at a nice restaurant for breakfast, and she has something that you can make in a microwave. God, that does.

My mom does that, and it's annoying. It's like, can't you just enjoy this for me? Can you enjoy? Order an omelette. Order an omelette. Get oatmeal on the side. Staken eggs. Get something.

Split something with me. A brand muffin, anything. It's on the restaurant for putting on. Segmentation fault. One's is the most puzzling part of why. He's talking about Maddox's email. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. One. Segmentation fault one. All right, let me play some face-mails. Oh boy, I feel like...

Except for so, it got a little weird in places. Sean things got a little weird. He's got a little bit weird. It's the three pot. Hey, hey, hey, about whether you would hook up a mechanism for it to, you know, just be on or whether you'd blow it yourself or not. So I got to think in a paintball tank, a 48-q-inch 300 PSI paintball high-pressure. Is there numbers? Is anywhere from 30 to 60 dollars online, you know, they get higher if you want to buy carbon fiber and bigger size, something like that.

But that will get you enough air for a very long time. And with parts you can find in the hardware store, you can make a regulator and a valve, and I'm sure you can find an electronic bulb valve or something like that. So you could, in theory, hook up a... He's thinking about making a permanent dog whistle. Yeah, permanent dog destroying machine. Yeah, that'll just spew out a certain frequency.

And insane right? Right, for dogs. That's great. Probably you shouldn't have played that then. I don't know. He really puts them thought into it. Yeah. Wow. I like an air tank pressure and a dog whistle.

Yeah. All right. Good for you. Hello, Dick. I saw the email that Maddox wrote you on the old show. And the first thing that came to my mind was an immediate sense of irony Thinking back to what was essentially the biggest moment in the show's history the show had been built up For years for the moment that Sean give his first problem and

It was a grim one. It was a tough one in swallow. It was a big moment for him. And Maddox talked about the whole fucking thing. This guy has the audacity to send you emails regarding interruptions and absolute disgrace. He truly is. Yeah, you remember that one? Yeah. Addiction. Yeah. Your problem. Sure. Maddox, you have up to do it with weird, I guess I didn't even, it didn't even register to me when we were doing it. Oh yeah, I registered.

Did it? Yeah, well he caught a lot of shit for the next week, I guess, or over the next week. But I didn't seem weird to me at the time. I got to be used to not talking as much as I do now since there's two of us. How's that for irony? not talking as much as I do now since there's two of us. How's that for irony? Get an ID. Have you not talked about this? I realize, you know, I play the game. You got

to have your ID. But James, fucking Christ, I just want to drink. Do we have to go through fucking showing legal documents? But I'm like out every day. Nobody asked me to see my chicken license to drive a vehicle. I'm not so important. It's a good point. You know what I want to do? I want to buy a six-day computer and go home and watch TV, maybe I'll drink one.

You know, maybe I'll just stay on the golem and fucking kill myself. I want to drink a couple of beers, but I got down to the holiday after work the other day and Wisconsin they sell beer at the gas stations Wisconsin out drinks California by the way that's per gallon not per capita I got on the holiday they got decent beer I go there I don't understand this whole fun at dance I got this little carcassian I don't have a wallet it's got my ID and a little plastic packet in front of it.

But there's a lady behind the counter. Now if it was a guy, I had no idea. He's just be like, yeah, whatever. Here's your bidder. Go ahead. Just wait a minute. Can I see the ID? Is there?

Oh, I�s flashed my card at it. You know, I'm on it at DevCon. Just because I know she's going to ask me to see this goddamn thing. Yeah. If she pushes it, and what does she do? Oh, I said, you're gonna have to take that card. Take your eyes out of your head and shove them in the plastic wall. I mean, you need a diamond fucking man and let me do get my way. And let me tell you the kick on this.

The real plastic wall, she can't see the wall. I was looking at her, it is looking at her. She's like, well, I can't see what your business. It's like, it's a toy, it's a toy, it's a fox, and one of my, I'm gonna put it on a toy. I'm gonna put it on a toy. Okay, okay, okay. Look, judging by the tone of that phone call,

he had no problem getting the beer. So, I mean, I don't know what he's complaining about. That is funny that you can, there isn't, there isn't an ID check before you get in your car. Uh, that's a lot more dangerous than a beer. Yeah. Yeah. Hi, I'd like to, hi, I'm, uh, I'd like to buy this beer. Uh, oh, can I see your ID? Don't have one. Oh, no, we can't serve you. Okay, I'm just gonna go get back in my moving death machine and drive home then.

Yeah, well, it's weird. Yeah. Take it out, take it out of the wallet. Why? I would like to see you. I want there to be a secret liquor shopper who goes around and actually has a fake ID and if they're forced to take it out of the fake ID

and the person can't tell it's fake, they instantly execute them on the spot for wasting everyone's time with that, oh, take your ID out. Why? What are you looking for? What are you gonna do when I take it out? Isn't me just, do you,

are there a lot of underage people that hold it up and get caught with an under, oh, that license, that license says you're 11 years old. Oh, you caught me. I was just counting on my confidence to get me this and the trans-lucent card holder in the wallet. Yeah, that really sells it.

That stupid little fl... It's all annoying every time. Oh, can you take it out of the... Can you take it out of the sleeve, please? Dude, I'm like, like, the glitter. Can you take it out of the? Can you take it out of the sleeve, please? Dude, they clittered. Can you take it out of the sleeve is really confusing me? I never get that.

I mean, I don't get carted anymore, but when I did, they usually didn't tell me to take it out. Every time. You can take that out of the sleeve. Sure. Those, everyone knows that those sleeves reverse the polarity of a legal license and it doesn't count. Dick, let me tell you what makes me a rage, man. This shit of people posting pictures of their new cars on Facebook.

I don't get it at all. Like, congratulations, you bought a car that everybody else owns. Why are you bragging about it? You know, who can buy new SUV? Well what so does your fucking neighbor you know your grandma whatever gives a flying fuck you know your car isn't better than anyone else is you didn't buy you know you didn't invent it fucking tenslaw or you know like a fucking Corvette a jagged for or anything like that nothing people just buy the same old shit and they feel the need to say you know what that makes me

better than you like the fucking a leader something i just i don't fucking understand it all i don't know that this is just a fucking midwesting or god forbid you have it out in california no we have it and everybody gets made fun of what do you everybody to kick their pictures and passes around and makes fun of them with their new car look at fun of them with their new car Look at this fucking loser with the new car. They just got it's asking for it

Congratulations like it a baby Congratulations Look at this stupid look at this thing I bought this terrible deal. I entered into This thing I bought was this terrible deal I entered into. Exactly. Look, this is my new life, new car, new me. You should post a picture of your truck on Instagram. No. No, I don't like doing that.

Are you banned from Instagram? No. Not yet. You just joined. Oh, okay. It's great. Well, then from Instagram? Yeah. Not yet. He just joined. Okay. That's great. Well, then it's give it a week. Just don't show any women's nipples. Oh, what? Women's nipples. What about men? What about men? That's a serious question. I'm so serious. What about trans women's nipples? You don't show them. What about monkeys nipples? They can be shown. What about drawn nipples? Yeah. I can show those. What

if I draw a nipple on a woman's nipple? Yes, you can do that. I can do that. Yeah. Because you're covering the actual flesh. So pasteies. So pasties. Pasties. Or a gallery of peanuts. Or a gallery of peanuts. So, I think you'll get, I think you'll get, I think you'll get, I think you'll get,

I think you'll get, I think you'll get, I think you'll get, I think you'll get, I think you'll get, I think you'll get, I think you'll get, I think you'll get,

I think you'll get, I think you'll get, I think you'll get, I think you'll get, I think you'll get, I think you'll get, I think you'll get, I think you'll get, I think you'll get, I think you'll get, That's my strong hand. Is that the hand you use? Are you right handed?

Yeah, I told you that. And that's the hand you in your in space. Yeah. If I'm in space, interesting. No penises. What about fat guys boobs? Yeah, that's fine. But that's the double standard. You can show men's nipples, but you can't

show women's. Yeah, don't talk about double standards. The names like that. Like it's so fucking like you guys are so fucking oppressed that you can't add another weapon in your arsenal of coxies. Oh my god. What about a baby nipple? Yeah, what about baby nipples? Baby nipples. What about a baby nipple? Yeah, what about baby nipples? Baby nipples. You can show baby nipples?

Yes. I don't think you should be able to put you naked babies online. Right. I do know a few people with this. I think most people just don't run around. It's like, why are you doing that? I mean, like in your house, but not online

because there's a weirdo. Like Kyle's out there. Yeah, exactly. I agree. Maybe they're like baby nipples. What about a guy, what about a naked fat guy that you put a filter on, one of those filters on to make guys into women, you know, the Snapchat,

whatever app that will turn you into a hot version of yourself and then a chick. Yeah. Is that okay? I mean, but are they still real boobs? They're actually boobs. Are they is the filter over them? What about bugs bunnies nipples dressed as a woman? Yeah No, I mean yeah, you can do that. You just can't show like I can't just take picture of my tits and put it on my Instagram Oh real real tits real tits. Yeah, well, I mean fake tits too. I just wanted to cover all the bases fake real tits real tits. Yeah, well, I mean fake tits too. Just wanted to cover all the bases fake real tits You know what good?

Let's just never good glad you guys can't do that As blurry as I want the as you keep keep up with your whatever logic games And it's you're just never gonna get to show your nipples off You will love it you broads love showing your nipples off to I don't wanna do one. And you will love it. You, Brods, love showing your nipples off to anyone and we are not gonna allow it, period. And you're just gonna have to deal with it. That's the reality of it. So, chew on that.

That's the last thing we have. That's the last, that's the last oppressive thing that we have left. You guys got your stupid ocean's eight movie. Not gonna be one nipple in that thing. No, send it back. Hey, Nick, thanks for the advice of the zoom lesson. I was not crying. I was a very drunk and very high. Yeah. I don't cry. Oh, I was kinda like he was crying there at the end.

A little bit. That was a Zoombook, guys. All right, one more, one more, one more. I gotta go drink. Hey, Dick. You know what makes me a rage? It's gas station employees that don't know cigarettes. Like, at all.

It's like 90% of what you guys sell and I've got to play this wears Waldo game through you where I'm trying to point out no it this one and I'm trying to see that I'm so frustrated like a pack of like how to say that you buy red gold edition they don't know uh... this is a i don't want to have to have a light how is it that i have to navigate you through one of the most basic of cigarettes every single right i've seen it your first day at work that is almost and it's unacceptable

where is a cigarette christ it's the only part of your job. It's getting me a cigarette pack that I asked for. Well, okay, first of all, he said, camel lights, which is when they transitioned to blue, it was like, you might as well have asked for uranium. Can I have a pack of camel lights? Oh. Oh.

That's what is this? A secret spy code that you're asking me? I've never, I can't even tell by the context what you're talking about. What, what, what, what, what, what, we'll turn around and look, go in the camel section. You fucking asshole. And find the one that you've been giving out all day.

Find just find the one that you've been giving out all fucking day with the cigarettes. Oh man, they don't know shit. They don't know the ones who don't know that they don't even know that they have cigarettes. Can't get some Marble of 100s. What are those? Ah, just, just go sit down man.

Is that you? Yeah. Just go take a seat. You go sit down and I'll just do your whole job. Yeah. It's fine. I don't care. I don't care.

Because it's less annoying than you, than me having to tell you what's the fucking cigarette. All right, one more. Andrew from Eugene, Oregon. This is the end of the year. Last last voicemail of the year. Hey, good. Make it a fucking cigarette. All right, one more. Andrew from Eugene, Oregon. This is the end of the year. Last voicemail of the year. Make it a good one. Yeah, great. If they show this as Andrew, Oregon, it's just so annoying

having shit throwing in your face, right? I mean, some of my favorite movies of all time feature repressed or protected people's, right? Like fucking mouth aliens are one of my favorite movies ever. Yeah, um we all know that that Sam Jackson and in Jurassic Park fucking classic right Ghostbusters Fucking that one guy who was in same color the other ones who bear for the reasons why you think it's like it's like it's it rocks it serves the purpose it fits

it the narrative and reality it's not jarring it it's not not insulting why do they got a concept in your fucking face now like listen you listen you men you pigs we're gonna we're gonna make it all female ocean the webbing you're just gonna deal

with it i don't care how much you hate women. We're going to deal with how much you hate women. And you're going to walk the movie. They get louder and you get beer and you get beer. And how your movie is yapping? I think all it is. And then they fucking hammer you if you say anything. How do we get to this point? How and

by what sensitive mechanism have we reached the point? I don't like this. You deserve a bleeding over the head. Where the hell are you fucking what? This guy's we let them put our dicks away. That's why. That's where we messed up. And it's been just once they realized that they could trick us into putting our dicks away for any amount of time during the day, that's when they realized that they could, that they had us. And then they could have anything they want. They could have a reboot. They could have a she boot of Ocean's 11 with only eight chicks chicks, 75 oceans on the dollar, 75% eight.

So 11. Cause they ate the other three. Oh. I got hungry. Smellisimacarthia in it. I don't know. I mean, I don't see how she couldn't be. Cause there's only eight stars that could draw. I don't know. I mean, I don't see how she couldn't be. Because there's only eight stars that could draw,

I don't know. But it's gonna happen. And we're gonna have to sit there with our dicks and our pants watching this movie, getting it shoved down, my throats. Harvey Weinstein, eight, the other ones. Harvey Weinstein, the other ones Harvey Weinstein ate the other three He's just gross. I know banged a lot of hot chicks though Fuck that

Yeah, he like run around and jack off and plans in front of people Like what the fuck? A lot of guys are not like what we're doing that. A lot of bombs. Apparently, yeah, yeah, the truth. Oh, I couldn't stop him from jacking off into a plan. I had to sit there and watch. I just talked to him into it.

What do you want? You gonna see oceans, eh? No, right? I didn't have any plans to. I don't watch movies. Oh, you don't watch movies, period. Pretty much. What do you do? Unless it's like really a funny movie

then I'll go watch it. What's your favorite funny movie? Probably. Oh, stepbrothers hands down. Stepbrothers is. All right. That is a funny movie I know people who don't like that. It's fucking hilarious. Uh, yeah

Every time I watch it, I laugh hysterically. Still. It's a funny movie. It's a great movie I'm not gonna see oceans eight either I'm right there. Actually Not for those reasons though Just out of pure hate out of pure hate Not for those reasons though. Just out of pure hate. Out of pure hate. I'm a woman.

Man, I wish that I want to do like a no-man, rally. No, man. Yeah, just for fun. You know, and you know, people would take it seriously. Dead seriously. Yeah. Dead seriously. I got to get a bunch of fat guys in no-man-I'm sure it's or maybe update the logo a little bit and

go protesting, like old school, 80s, misogyny, showvinism, protesting, right? I think that the world needs some of that for this Ocean's 8th debacle. I see. You know, with the cards, with wood stakes and the cards. You should organize that at the premiere here. Yeah, and we'll be Ocean's 11. We'll be 11 guys. Talking about how we don't get credit or something, I don't know.

What a fucking weird show. There you go. All right, see you everybody. I don't know. What a fucking weird show. There you go. Alright, see you everybody.