The Dick Show - Episode 92 - Dick on Suppositories

Episode Date: March 6, 2018

The Dick Show Album charts at #2 in Billboard comedy, Vicodin hoarding nurses, brushing my teeth with new things, youth sports parents, Male Autism, David Hogg is a little POS, FigBat DiggerNick gets kidney stones, UPS postage reuse, Larry's Flag Day, Harmful Opinions talks Twitch ToS violations, uppity waitresses, customer service hostages, the Corporatocracy, and the cuck bounty; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!

Here we go. Is that thing? Take it. Take it. Take it. Take it. Take it. Take it.

Take it. Take it. Take it. Take it. Ready? Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!

Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Ah! You want dig, you need dig, you love dig, you've got it, it's the show where everything is a contest coming to you live from a mountain bunker, from a concrete bunker in the side of a mountain.

I am your host, Dick Masterson, the $20 million man, with me is always, show on the audio engineer. Hello, Dick. Hey, what's up, buddy? Almost had it that time. What's that? Almost had the whole intro that time. Yeah, I tried up, buddy? Almost had it that time. What's that? Almost had the whole intro that time. Yeah, I tried to, I tried and I tried to nail it that time. I went for it. Usually I

stumble and stammer through it. And this time I actually really went for it. And I fucked up the concrete bunker part. Well, that's right. Cause I have a phone. Sometimes you go, uh, you got it after you've set a couple more sentences. That's true. Yeah. I have a phobia of concrete related commentary as one would who's busy banned from Twitter. It cost me one of myself's. Yeah. Yeah. We have these profiles and social profiles we create that are little avatars of ourselves, right, of ourselves in the digital world. And mine got axed over a concrete related comment. Yeah. What is it? It It's a Craig gun. I don't know. It's with concrete and bannings.

I don't know. We'll talk about it a little later. Harmful opinions is calling in. Oh cool. Cyber violence, whatever he's going by these days. Oh, see, he has multiple representatives online. Yeah, he's like, he's had to change faces so many times. He's like Gandalf. Yeah. See first

he was Gandalf the Gray. Oh, he's Gandalf the White. Right. And then he's Gandalf. He never comes back as Gandalf like the pink. Gandalf the translucent. Gandalf the tie die. Yeah. Right. Exactly. He's like a, he's a filthy hippie. Yeah. He's always boring. I mean, he is a filthy hippie, but he isn't filthy hippie Hey, everybody what's that other program? Sorry. What's that what's that other wizard and is it in the hobbit movies or in the Lord of the Rings? Who's the one Mr. Wizard you're thinking about it was he was the bad guy the Lord of the disgusting wizard like the bird shit in his beard and stuff that oh Like the nature wizard. Yeah, what the fuck is that guy? That was that guy was fuck that's disgusting Why would I get a giant rabbit give him any screen time? He's got bird shit all down his beard

Yeah, I don't want to see that his car shits constantly the size of basketballs That rabbit that he rides around on it still shits like a rabbit. Yeah, it's just 20 feet long Like imagine like imagine the economy of rabbit. It's just 20 feet long. Like imagine the economy of rabbit shit that's going on in that universe. All right, anyway. Big news, big news of the Dixho album. Number two in comedy.

Number two in comedy. Number two in comedy, Sean. Billboard charting. Number two in comedy. Yeah, Billboard charting number two in comedy. Yeah, that's a huge achievement, even though, even though, even though it sounds like it's number two, and there was somebody above us, it's a gigantic achievement for everyone involved. Wasn't it number one at one point?

No, it's number one on band camp. This is Billboard. Oh, shit. This is Billboard overall. Oh, that's what it took to hit number. See, here's a thing, everybody, you think you want to be number one, but you know what, you have to do to get to number one in anything. You got to suck a dick. I was just gonna say that.

You always, you always, that's why it's better to be number two. Yeah. Number two, you can get honestly. Yeah. A working man can achieve a number two. And that's the best you could do. Number one is always reserved for somebody who sucked a dick or two. The real whores.

Yeah. Yeah. If you get to be, that's what they, they cruise the number twos of the world and say, hey, I got a deal. You want to be number one? I got to do sucked this dick. I know how it works. I'm a man.

Also, you know, there was an article written on how in like the history of the charts and stuff that songs that hit number two overall are much better songs than the number one. Much better albums, much better everything is number two. Always, people are, if you're number one, where's, what's left for you? Nothing, take two weeks off and quit. Just quit, stop.

Number two, that's an honest, that's an honest achievement that you got on your own through your own merits, through the value of your entertainment, product and music and comedy album. Number two, number one, The number one who beat us. Netflix woman comedian. A living version of a Kathy cartoon. I went on her Twitter.

Who is it? All anti-Trump shit. Yeah. I don't know, this chick mag, magdalene something. Oh. Large, large. That's who beat us. Large, large.

She's got a Netflix special called Bothering Jesus. I go on her Twitter all anti-Trump. Oh god, give me who beat us. Large, large. It's got a net, special called bothering Jesus. I go on her Twitter all the anti-traum, but God, give me a fucking break. Come on. Who can't be expected to compete with this? This is not comedy. This is not comedy. This is what passes for comedy.

Yeah, get the hell out of here. This is real comedy, so good job. Everybody, yeah. We fucking did it. Number two, billboard, excuse me, billboard charting comedy album. Sorry, I brushed my teeth at the acting minutes and last night, I'm not feeling so hot. Yeah.

Well, your whiteheads are looking much better though. On my teeth. Yeah. Whiteheads are my- They're just a giant whitehead now. My blackheads are my teeth and my tongue are all gone. Yeah, that's good. That's gross.

That must have tasted something special. Well, it didn't taste anything. I went into the, um, do you think you're brushing like some natural toothpaste or something? Like, oh, this pumice was harvested from kill away. I like, it's whatever fucking people are brushing their teeth with nowadays. Look, you don't know what's going on in women's bathrooms.

Um, what do I do? No, you don't, Sean. Why don't know it's going on in women's bathroom. Why don't? Cause they've got like 10 tubes out, you know? Yeah, oh, oh, oh. I have a toothbrush, a razor, and a toothpaste tube. You understand?

I went into 80s girls' bathroom. She used a bathroom at the other end of the house. She gets ready very early. She's so nice of her to do this. Right, right. I'm brushing my teeth, a little wobbly, freshen up a little bit before bed, you know. Yeah.

Right. You're about to have a date with your one of your hands. Excuse you, right? Excuse you. I grab a tube of a tube of toothpaste looking, a tube of toothpaste,, a tube of toothpaste, a tube that looks like it contains toothpaste. I prepare my toothbrush,

and here's what I like to do. I like to get up in the morning, and I like to brush my teeth all around the whole house. It's torture for me to sit there and stare at myself and brush my teeth. And because I look at myself, I'm like, I look like I'm jacking off, I'm jacking off a ghost.

Okay, I don't wanna look at that. So then I turn around and look at the wall, so I'm like, well, this is boring. There's a ton of stuff I could be doing while I'm brushing my teeth, right? I hate downtime because my brain has been fried with social media and phones and immediacy and twitch. Yeah, you need constant stimulation all the time.

I need constant stimulation all the time. I need to take a break from my TV to my iPad to my phone while one thing's loading. I know. Boop boop boop boop boop boop. That's me. That's everybody. It's everybody.

So I can't just brush my teeth and think about life. Cause then I gotta think about stuff I don't wanna think about. About life. Life. Yeah, life is a pejorative. Yeah, you gotta walk around. You gotta go look at your view out the back deck. You gotta start the coffee.

Yeah, I gotta look at a big stack of fiddle with the bills. And that's what that, I gotta look at magic cards. That's what fools us into thinking we're efficient as opposed to just distracted all the time. Just touching a bunch of shit. Yeah, just touching, oh yeah, look at all this stuff. All while I brush my teeth. Yeah, like what'd you do today?

Oh, I had a real busy day, let's see it. Uh, let's see, 905 to 910, fiddled around with unopened bills for a while. Yeah. 910 to 915, Uh, looked at some, looked at a shopping cart on Amazon for 10 minutes. Like what did you do? You did about 10 minutes of fucking things today.

If everybody today deleted spam emails, 930 to 945. Yeah. If everybody had to watch a playback of their day at the end of every day, everyone would die that day. What do you mean by the, they killed themselves. Yeah, they just be like, God, I didn't do fucking anything, but you know what?

I do anything to watch someone else's day. Well, I like watch that. But that's what we do. Sort through bills. You're like, oh, you lazy fuck. I look at you just sorting through those bills. Pretty much what we do. I like to, I like to do a little tour through those bills. Pretty much what we do. Not too bad.

I like to do a little tour in the morning when I'm brushing my teeth. Yeah. I was just boring in the bathroom. Yeah. But you need the sink area, right? And you, otherwise, you just get like a little foam in your mouth.

So I found, I ended up placing my toothbrush in the wrong bathroom through my tour. I got distracted. I get very distracted. I mean, I just spread shit all around the house. I'm like a bee pollinating the house with my things. Some people call it making a mess. Yeah, but it's actually a very important part

of the ecosystem of annexing territories. So I left my toothbrush in the wrong bathroom. And I laid it night, I went up there and go in a bed, grabbed the toothbrush, and I grabbed a very, a thing that looks very much like toothpaste. Yeah. No warning labels on it to indicate that it's not toothpaste. Yeah.

And I squirted it on the toothpaste. I said, no, that's a little bit weird. Maybe the whole of this toothpaste, it came out thin. Mm-hmm. It came out thin, you know. It was a little clogged up. Maybe it was a little clogged up. Maybe it was a little clogged up. Maybe it had just any cells. Yeah, maybe it had just, it came out in two streams, one of them hit the bathroom mirror.

I said, well, that's odd. I put it in my mouth, started brushing my teeth and I said, huh, it's not minty or refreshing at all really. Oh, maybe this bitch has sensitive teeth. And this is like one of those, this is like, sensitine, you know? I like how you're blaming her already. Well, it's not minty. Yeah. Why is the toothpaste not minty?

Kind of stupid ass brush us with this shit. I know, look, I'm very terrible toothpaste. I've struggled with sensitive teeth myself. Yeah, so I know that people sometimes don't like to talk about their special toothpaste. Yeah. My dad one time found this. He, I don't know where he saw this. Maybe he saw it in the news.

Like, old people get, excuse me, older people, they get like, they're on like a newsletter for weird shit. Like, they have a channel or a mailing list or something that you can't get on. Maybe AARP identifies them. Yeah. And like, puts it, comes at night and puts a chip in their television something that you can't get on. Maybe AARP identifies them. And like puts it, comes at night and puts a chip in their television

to give them like bizarre television broadcasts from another world. But all that, one day he found this toothpaste that was supposed to be good for an amul or something like that. So he orders like a crate of it. Yeah, sure. Something like toothpaste, which you need to not be disgusting.

Yeah, right, right. But he goes and maybe give it a shot, have a tube of it or something like that. No, not this guy. Well, he's afraid that everyone will catch on and then the price will be driven up. He's efficient. Well, he's an economics guy.

He has to make sure that if in case, then people will have to come to him. He made a decision a long time ago that in order to avoid decision fatigue, he would never think twice about a decision. So he just acts upon his first, on his first decision immediately, which is usually the best one. You know what? I was just going to say that's not a bad way to be.

Yeah. Unless you're like George Costanza and every decision you make is the wrong one. He's the opposite. No, every decision he makes is exactly the, is a great one. Yeah. And probably you probably couldn't do better endlessly humming and hawing. I know. Oh no, no, there's a lot of, there's a lot to be learned from that, I think.

Except when you get a crate of toothpaste that tastes like baking soda. Well, nobody's 100%. No. Yeah. So he spent like two months trying to shill this toothpaste for everybody. except when you get a crate of toothpaste that tastes like baking soda. Well nobody's 100%. No, yeah. So he spent like two months trying to shill this toothpaste for everybody, like sneaking this fuck, this fucked toothpaste in our cars,

because you can't not use it. Like he knows, he knows that I will eventually run out of toothpaste and have squished the toothpaste down to like absolutely. So I've created a vacuum inside the toothpaste tube and I'll have to resort to his car toothpaste because you're not going to the store. You'll never go to the fucking store.

Yeah. So I figured, well, maybe this, maybe she's got some goofy toothpaste. Yeah. Like, oh well, it doesn't have any flavor. And then I like started putting my tongue on my teeth a little bit and was like, huh, that feels like lotion. Like I've never had this sensation of lotion on my teeth,

but I'm pretty sure that's what, I turned the toothpaste looking tube over. This acne medication right, goes, God, come on. Well, I just went to bed. Yeah, just when I didn't even brush your teeth with the real stuff, right? Forget it, let's give it a shot. Try it at once.

Yeah, what's the worst it can happen? This is how journals are made out of behavior like this. I forget why I started talking about that. Anyway, we got Billboard charting album number two. It's a huge, the Dick album is a huge success. I've got 10 to give away, but I don't really know how to give my, I wanna make a music video out of that dick-lice track too. Yeah.

Tracks fucking great. It is a great track. It's a great track. I don't see here. This makes me rage. Oscars are tonight, I don't give. Oh, fucking hate the Oscars. Oh, I do too.

I hate everything about the Oscars. I haven't watched one since I got out of a film marketing. It's just the worst of the entertainment industry come together and one night. It's awful. It's awful. Everything about the Oscars is awful. Yeah. I didn't put my thoughts together because it'll be over by the time the show's done.

Yeah, I'll ask you. Well, it'll never be just ending. Never enjoyed one single thing about it. No, it's so, the self-righteousness is off the charts. Yeah. I've never seen what, it's a trick to get you to listen to the speech. I think that's what it is. The fake, it's like a fake competition based on nothing,

based on absolutely nothing. Yeah. Yeah. Just based on the industry giving itself awards. Let's see here. I'll tell you what makes me a rage. It's awful. Just full of awful people.

God it is. The Academy member, I know that I can think of off the top of my head have worked with I ones, I don't, not still in contact, but four members of the Academy I can think of. Oh, really? Yeah, that I've liked the people who hit us. Yeah, the people who, and all four are awful human beings.

Why? They're terrible people. They're personal no, the people who pick. And all four are awful human beings. Why? They're terrible people. They're personal life the way they treat people, what they do in their personal life, what they, yeah, they're just, I mean, I can't mention too many, but yeah, no, they're just, they're scum. Yeah.

I hate the whole thing. And everybody's going to Oscar parties, play the fucking stupid, no one realizing that every guy going there is just going, just going there in the hopes to meet someone's friend out like that's in their social circle to get laid. Just a little bit, a little bit of the old touch of the penis. The whole Oscar party ecosystem circles around.

I fucking hate it every year. Cesspool. It is. Let me see here. I got a weird thing that happened to me. Weirder than breastfeeding. Yeah, here's a little dick tip. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

So I got a text from Amazon. I sell the signed copies of Menorbede and Women on the Dix-Dour, shop.dix.show. Shop.dix.show. And I underestimated how many people would want a signed copy. So I didn't send in enough. And I've been struggling to try to keep up with keeping the signed copies in the warehouse

because that's where they get sent from. Wow, that's a good problem to have. Yeah, it's cool, but it's also, a lot of people's orders have been delayed. Because Amazon will send me books that have like tire marks on the front of them. And you're like, I can't send this back out. I can't sign this and send it out.

You cock suckers. Where are you storing my, have you just been... You just charged more for that until it was like, it got thrown out the window in the rain. Yeah, and run over by your car. I had a little too much to rain. And I accidentally ran the book over. I don't have a breathalyzer, Mike.

You know, here's something funny. Nick Rackett's did a video recently of how not to get a DUI. Really? And I won't say who he did it on. But this person from where his name was counselor Lowen Browell. Yeah. This person, according to the arrest report,

like, fuck Nick Rackett's read the actual arrest report of this dude getting his first DUI. Oh boy. And like the officers account of everything they fucked up is swarving into traffic and shit. I know what I'm doing at this place. Oh my God, I don't know where he got this stuff. Nick, so I'm reading it and I'm like, wait a minute.

If I'm getting this right, this dude has the same car that I did. You're kidding. No, it's convertible Lexus. There's only one convertible Lexus in 2006. Yeah. I know how that car handles in the rain. I fucking crashed it in the rain.

Well, you know what's funny is the guys on top year like rated that one of their most hated cars. Oh, it drives like mush. Yeah, it drives like mush because it doesn't, like it's like a playing card with wheels on it. Like because of the convertible, it has no, there's no cage. They went, yeah, they went for something that Lexus has never, because they've made great

cars over the years. Yeah. And it's like, they went for something just out of left field. And apparently, I don't know, I don't know anybody who, I never drove your car. I've ridden it in a million times. It's a great car. But yeah, it was according to them, they was like, this is, this is single handedly destroying the brand.

Yeah. They were right. Everything that they said was right, this is single handedly destroying the brand. Yeah, they were right. Everything that they said was right, but it's still a nice car. Yeah. And it never, it never, it never, never gets fucked up. Like, you know, it never, nothing's ever wrong with it. Very reliable. Anyway, so I'm ordering, I'm ordering these

men or men in the women books to sign the send into the shop. And I get a text from Amazon as you do saying, a box with 18 copies of men or bad in the women has just been delivered to your place. I open up the front door and say, oh, thank God, I can get more of these books to the factory or to the warehouse.

I open up the box and inside are all signed copies. Oh no. Yeah, from Amazon. Yeah, that's wrong. Yeah, very wrong. Very wrong. I'm like, wait a minute. What?

What? You keep these. Not even them, I send it to an additional warehouse. Oh, oh, oh. So I go down to the UPS store and I said, Hey, did you guys fuck up a, like, first of all, did you fuck up a return, send it to Amazon and then they realized it and somehow figured out

that to send it to me, because they know like what the fuck happened here. So the owner comes out and he's like, oh yeah, okay, I think I know what, oh I think I know what happened. So, all right, which means you definitely know what happened. Yeah, what happened?

Because well, the other label that you had on this box was sent to your house and it didn't get crossed out. Oh. Okay, so you didn't cross it out. So what, so in the actual, maybe he's Japanese. No, it didn't get crossed out. Yeah. Oh, you're right, he is.

Really? Yeah. He's Asian. Oh. Yeah. Well, no shit, you're absolutely right. I'm not gonna say if that Asian is Japanese or not because apparently I'm bad at that.

So, I think producer Randy was Korean. So he said, I should have known by how shit-faced drunken he gets that he's definitely Japanese. God, he does get drunk. Yeah, it's great. So he says that they read the initial shipping label, which was a box on Amazon to my house. They scanned that label and then sent it to me and they ignored the other one where I was sending it to the warehouse.

Yeah. So I said, well, wait a minute. How does it, like, doesn't that shipping get canceled when it's used for the first time? He said, no. So I said, does that mean I could just take this box anywhere and send myself shit with this label like for free forever? Is it eventually they'd catch on?

It's like what's, yeah, how, what do you mean eventually? It sounds like, so that's a pretty, that's a pretty good dict if you have anything you want to send home, just take an old label off of an Amazon box and send it to put it on another box and drop it off at a store. And eventually just happened. Yeah.

There's a rash of people sending themselves free shit. Yeah. All right. Anyway, I'll tell you what makes me rage this week. I got I got to tell you this I went to the Irishman's first t-ball game. Oh wow. First of all, these motherfuckers are live streaming t-ball games. Yeah, these kids are five years old. Yeah, you know what I'm saying? They've got like a full 360 degree camera behind the behind-home plate that they're broadcasting with unbelievable.

First of all, man, it's, okay, it's youth sports parents. That's what makes me, it has made me a rage for my entire fucking life. Oh yeah, no, this, you know well. Yeah. And it's made me, it's made me even more of a rage this week because I could see, I could see it in action over kids that are five years old Like it's the these kids are These kids are running around like a flock of birds on the field when a ball when a ball gets hit off of a tea

They run around Clomping their gloves at the ball with they're being hindered by the gloves. Like it's just a, it's just like giving them something, the gloves 10 pounds, you know, they can't use this thing. They're just clumping out. It's a, it's a miracle that nobody gets hurt in every single play. Yeah. I know the flock of birds things. It's like mighty mites was the, I don't know if they still call

that in, in ice hockey when they're like four or five. Yeah. And that's the thing. It's 10 kids, like a flock of birds, just chasing a puck around and like, you know, diving on. Walking speed. Yeah, it's just everywhere.

Nobody, there's no position. You can't, it's the same thing with T-Ball, that you can't expect them to play positions or anything. It's a fun day out. Yeah, yeah. Outside, it's fun day outside. They hang out together, the parents hang out together.

And you got about two innings in these kids because they all, they bat around every time. There's no, nobody's getting anybody out. There's no playing baseball at all. Little Irishman even said afterwards, it's like, hey man, you gotta tag the runner if you're gonna play catcher. He played catcher one inning

just so we could sit on his ass all-inning. I just sat there throwing his, like you gotta tag that guy. And he's not going, it's not real baseball. It's kids baseball. Like, okay, you're right. Sorry to try to criticize. I forgot my place.

The student has become the master. These kids are running around. They got two innings in them at most. But because of the fucking rules of the league or whatever it is, the games are set at one hour. They have at once if they, if there's an inning change after an hour, that's the end of the game, or 70 minutes, or some amount of time. But the two, the two inning mark where every kid hits the wall and it be it turns into the civil war out there where kids are dropping like flies because they don't understand why they're stuck in their stuck out in the field now.

They're all turning to the adults and saying, what are we? Hey, I'm done. This is my I want to get off this ride. What are we what do I have to do to get off of this thing? Like, well, we got to wait for the 70, those two innings only took 60 minutes. You got 10 more minutes. And then they stretch out to an eternity, Sean. Like you can see when the coaches come over

to talk to the parents and say, hey, we're thinking about calling this game early because only a psychotic, only a psychotic monster would force us to partake in this pantomime of baseball for one more second. Queue psychotic monster in the stands. Yeah, that's what they're saying. Hey, hey, parents gather around.

We're thinking of just calling this going to get some ice cream hanging out with the kids feeling a lot of love and the drive home. going to get some ice cream hanging out with the kids feeling a lot of love and drive home. That's option A. Option two is for some reason that's deep down in the sickness of your mind that is whatever you failed at in life and you're now trying to live through these children to force them to play, to force them to put on this spectacle, to force them into now just, now it's an endurance game. Yeah, you're so right.

You're so right. And meanwhile, the kid in the right field has got his arm two and a half feet down a go-for-hole. You know, they're not, they long sense packed it in. They never even brought it. Okay, true. They just showed up, they showed up to do it twice. Yeah, that's enough.

Yeah, you can, and you can, it's the weirdest, because I remember being a kid. Yeah, as soon as a kid stop having fun, it's not for the parents, it's not for the parents. And you can see them. Yeah. You can see them.

I'm sitting in the back and you know, it's the, the, I don't know what the word is. People who know what's going on are always the quietest, right? Yeah, because they're, but the people who are fucked are the first ones. Let's go another inning. We got to keep these kids going. What in the fuck are, how dare you put everybody through this for another inning of this for

what? For what? Like write it, you know, write it down. Make an argument. you put everybody through this for another inning of this for what for what like right it you know write it down make an argument let's have the let's start with no what do you see what you're doing to us out here do you think you're teaching them some kind of a valuable life lesson no I mean what the hell we got dads out there every time the kid comes into home the slide slides I'm like, fuck, can you slide? You fat piece of shit. What are you talking about, slide?

Yeah. Yeah. Rain the other day. Yeah. My sister's a coach. This is the best part. My dad was a coach too, going up. My sister's a coach now.

So, first thing she gets is, that's very, it's, you could imagine how, this is one of those situations where you have no idea, the kind of thinking that people are bringing to the table in this situation, right? Like if you're at a poker game, you at least know everybody plays poker. Everybody here is familiar with the rules, right?

There's a level of behavior that everyone's on the same page, so to speak, right? Even if you're in like a band, you do anything, but if you're doing youth sports, these motherfuckers could come from anywhere. Mm-hmm. It's a free for all of behavior. sports, these motherfuckers could come from anywhere. It's a free for all of behavior. And trying to pull shit.

Like you could have guys, you don't know what this guy does during the day. Maybe he's a doctor, right? Or maybe he's a, maybe he's a, like it could be anybody. So they get teams. They get their teams assigned to them. You get your kid and then you get your kids' friends

and then it's just a random assortment. And every team gets a girl. They split up the girls so they're all equal. We all know why, right? Because the girls are there to make friends. It's fine. You can't, but, you know, obviously. Obviously, we know why they do it.

But I don't see anybody going after them. Hey, why, why don't you have a team of all girls? So my sister gets a call from another coach. There's a group text from another coach who says, one of your players is a friend of my kids on my team. So, let's make a trade. Yeah. So, my sister says, well, yeah, send me your list of people.

First thing she does, she calls my dad. This is gonna get so sideways, so great. Sean. Oh, man. You're talking about the lowest stakes, the lower the stakes, the more fucked people are. This is going to get so sideways, so cool. Sean. Oh, man. You're talking about the lowest stakes, the lower the stakes, the more fucked people are. Oh, yeah. Right. Now we're talking like three team, six player deals, you know, trying, that's what it is.

Like the one, some cracker jacks, you know, I mean, to sweeten the deal. There's, so the guy presents that to my sister. I need that player of yours. I need Tommy. I need a little Tommy. It's my son's friend. It's my assistant coach's son. I need him. So my sister goes, okay, I'm gonna call old dad. Hey dad, what should I do? The GM. Yeah. Dad, you've got a rich history of upsetting children, parent youth sports. What should I do in this situation? My head goes, tell him to go fuck themselves. That's okay. He's your best player.

Okay, dad, not gonna do that. Yeah. Unless he writes back and says, hey, give me a list of all your players so I can figure out who's the closest to the practice field, make it easy for them. No response. She wakes up the next day to a text from that guy

sending to the whole group, hey, we're trading Tommy for Brittany on our team. My sister goes, what the fuck? They just unloaded a girl, like these motherfuckers just on purpose unloaded their girl onto my team. Yeah. Now it's a better principle.

Now you have to say go fuck yourself. Now you have to say, but that was the best part. And so fucking dad was right in the first place. Go fuck yourself. Or you want something reasonable. Go fuck yourself, slam. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, you made it unreasonable.

Little league, I wish Little League coaches, I wish all Little League coaches would have to do what they do in like in drag, like Bugs Bonnie. Yeah. Just take the starch out of them, right? Right, right. As they're screaming for more, it's like, oh, you want to go another inning? What do you want to do?

And if you had to wear a dress? That's great. No, you'd want to go home. Yeah. You wouldn't be shouting so much if you were in a dress, would you, sir? Right. Or something like, even the women, even the moms, put a dress on.

Yeah. Hard to, it's hard to command the same authority. We know that hat to tug on. Yeah. And act like you're in a civil war reenactment. Huh. Yeah. And I don't get the sportsman like conduct

that they teach either. You know, shake hands after the game like that fuck you. Oh, you're on humiliation. God damn you sons of bitches. Yeah, I was so competitive that I, yeah, I hated that. I mean, I didn't even all those handshakes and stuff were like, were blurs to me. Yeah. You know, and everybody's saying the same thing like, good game, good game, good game,

good game, good game, good game, good game, good game, good game Because you're that's what you're supposed to like you basically go through and like high five after it's a line So you're supposed to say it to like every player. So it's you're just it's you're a fucking zombie at the end of it I hated that shit. Yeah, this walk off the field. Yeah I don't know what specifically makes me so upset about it It's like how many how many professional athletes are there? I think I looked it up, there's 11, there's 12,000 jobs in professional sports competition. Is that right?

People make more money on Twitch than they do out there. I don't see these people so aggro about getting their kids to stream. You gotta get this, you gotta get this webcam up. You gotta, you gotta set up your donation box. You gotta pay attention to your chat. Yeah. I wanna see you mine crafting three hours a day.

Yeah. Yeah. Oh, Ruka is done with the best debate. I heard that actually. Yeah. Yeah. Ruka is done with the best debate, and I tweeted about it. I think Peach was involved in the tweeting,

and then immediately Ruka followed her. Right? Oh, really? Yeah. Yeah. I could think of a couple, I could think of 32 reasons why he would do, do, do, do, do that. And then like immediately the next day,

he unfollowed her and it's like, oh, you fucking scumbag, Reka. Oh, you perv. I offered him a thousand bucks to come on the show. You did? Cash. Yeah. I don't see him doing that. No, he'll never on the show. You did, Cash. Yeah. I don't see him doing that. No, I'll never do it.

No, no, no, he's, I've, I mean, I don't know him well. I mean, aside from just the time, you know, shooting the shit and stuff like that. But, I mean, to me, it seems like he just would want to bow out gracefully. And it's the only thing that I can see. He's got his own stuff. It'll be interesting.

Oh yeah. Now he's a thought leader. He's no, he wants to debate Ben Shapiro about objectivism. Oh shit, I don't mean. Well, go to college man, that'll knock that need to sound smart, Eddie. You know what's interesting about him is, he's pretty, like he's been to like Milo speeches and stuff like that.

He's, I think he's pretty aligned with some of the right side of this show. More than one would think, I think, unless I'm completely misreading him, but I think that's what he really... I just think it's, yeah, I'm sure politically he is, it sounds like it, like that libertarian shit. I just think it's so obnoxious to me when comedians start thinking that they're thought leaders. Well, like, and they want to teach you shit about philosophy,

like either put it in the song or the comedy or shut the fuck up about it. What the thing is, like he does get asked to speak at these things. That's why it's not like him calling himself that. Like that's what he, he's one of the, like, you know, whatever they call the, what are they called the, I can't think of the word.

Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He gets asked to speak at things. Oh yeah. About politics and Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He gets asked to speak at things. Oh, yeah. About politics and philosophy. No, not politics, like internet type stuff. Oh, internet type stuff. Yeah, that kind of stuff. Yeah.

Yeah, but as far, yeah, I know thought leader and stuff is different. I mean, I don't know. I don't know what he's doing. I think he's been hanging around with Maddox too long. If he thinks he's going to make the transition into like serious philosophies, serious philosophical commentary. Yeah, I mean, I don't know what he's, only he knows what he's gonna do, but

No. Stick to songs, man. Come by the show if you want to talk about what Maddox is behind the scenes. I doubt it. You get a thousand bucks to your, uh, uh, uh, uh, charity, charity of your choice. to your charity of your choice. Yeah, I mean, if you were him, would you wanna keep this thing going? Yeah, you know what I mean? That's what's wrong with me.

Yeah, I guess so. I love it, but he enjoys, I know he's been involved in YouTube feuds and all that kind of stuff. And I remember saying he said, to start a feud with somebody on YouTube is so fun. You know, and that's why I thought he would wanna come in and talk, but shit, but I don't know. Maybe he's afraid of getting sued.

I don't know, because it's a dude. Asterios and I compared legal bills this month. Oh my God, right. It is a fucking down payment on a fucking house. The only ones who win are the lawyers. Yeah, no, it's really true. Like nobody fucking wins. Where out God knows how much money,

with the hope to God, like the Hail Mary, hope to God that someone is awarded damages from both Maddox and Mental Jess because they're both co-plaintives. So if there's if there's damages to get, I mean, they both have shit to pay for making everybody pay so much fucking money. Oh, no. Well, that's why commercial court is a good thing, right? I don't know. I hope so.

I, yeah, it's a good thing if it's done right away. Yeah. But God damn, just the size of the fucking, the size of the fucking bill has taught me more than anything else that there is no such thing as law. Not well. just the size of the fucking, the size of the fucking bill has taught me more than anything else that there is no such thing as law. Like all of these rights that we have that we're so proud of having, like all these fucking amendments.

Now when I hear people talk about him, like bro, those don't exist at all. It sounds just like George Carlin. Do I? Yeah, I mean, he's right or not. They're, you know, I have the right, you have no right, they're ideas. They don't really exist.

You don't fucking exist. If you walk into court with a copy of the bill of rights, that's what you're gonna be left with. You're that in your one hand and you're dick in the other. Yeah. All that matters, you can exactly as much justice as you can afford. And unfortunately, that happens to be all of your money.

Yep. All of it until it's gone. If someone chooses to fuck with you, it's barely. I'll put it this way. That's your right. Our justice system is barely better than just straight up murder, which is the alternative. That's what we had.

And we said, well, we've got to make it slightly better than this. And we did, and it is no better. It's just murder by proxy. It's murder once removed. It's just slightly, slightly better. Yeah. The rights, the rights don't mean a goddamn thing. You have the right to spend all your money defending yourself.

Yeah, you have the right. Again, something no matter how ridiculous this goddamn lawsuit is, you got to write to say anything you want. Yeah, that's going to cost you though. Oh, sure. How much? What do you got? Yeah, right.

What do you got? What do you got? It means absolutely fucking nothing. Yeah. The whole, like the whole, the whole system of rights to me means dick anymore, laws in general, like the idea that watching people talk about arguments and counter arguments, I'm like, yeah, no, that's great. That's gonna cost you $30,000.

What you just said, no one can afford that. No one, and it's no one. Effectively, it's like, it's gonna cost you real money to argue over whether the tooth fairy could beat up Santa Claus. Yeah, it's the stupidest fucking thing. The whole premise is retarded, and but it's costing you real money. Well, and it makes me think,

and this isn't just this court, it's not just this case, it's every single fucking one, cost godly amount, godly sums to get divorced, to get your kids back. The second you put up, the second you put a dollar amount to it, everything goes out the fucking window. As much as it all sounds nice on paper, as soon as you can charge, as soon as you have to pay to defend it, especially so, especially so fucking much. Yeah, already not worth it.

Already not, already not. It's just not, it's not worth it. Um, yeah. God, it's really sucks, it really sucks for his theory of- Oh, I'm sure. It sucks for him a lot more than it sucks for me. Yeah, it's brutal. It's fucking brutal. It's because anybody can bring some stupid ass lawsuit and you have to go through you have to go through the motions just to get just to have somebody give the official

this is fucking dumb get out. Yeah, that cost money to do that. And we gotta fix it. Let me see. Back to murder? Yeah. Well, maybe you shouldn't say that. That's my mind. That was you. Yeah, that was me.

That's all I'm saying. That's all I'm saying that. That's all I'm saying. Oh, God. I'm a little lost here today. I don't know why. And by the way, I'm not advocating murder with any

concrete cement or other related products. Yeah. That would probably get me banned if I had a social media presence. Two by fours are in. I like that little league coaches and drag thing. I do too. That's like the help. It's like chemical castration, just, you know, with clothes. It would definitely, definitely calm down the testosterone and these fucking little league coaches bossing around five year olds, right? Wouldn't it? Yeah. Yeah, would, because they never stop doing it.

No. Like, they all put them in a dress. They all pretend like they're drill sergeants. All the way up through the top. Like, would you, would you just shut the fuck up? And like, what, what, I want to see the, I want to see the amount of work into it, producing like better skills.

And you should prove it to me that you, prove it to me that you helped with all the shouting in the regimented quasi-military training that you were giving these kids. Yeah, they just prove it to me. They always care more than the kids do. So much more. Here's the Cuck song by Kendall,

Kendall and Hyde. Did I'm the dumb? A cock walked up to a leather good stand. And he said to the man, run in the stand. Hey, dumb, dumb, dumb. Got any rapes? The man said,

no, we just saw Lither. I'm sold out, but you could pre-order something for Heather. Would you like some chaps? The cook said, I'll pass. Then he heed away. He he he. Till the very next day, dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb. Then the cook walked up to the letterhood stand.

And he said to the man, run in the stand. Hey, dumb dumb dumb. Got any rapes? The man said, no, like I said yesterday, we just saw leather, okay? Why don't you give Gimpsuit to try? The cock said, goodbye. Then he heed away. Then he heed away.

Then he he heed away he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he Look, this is getting weird, Cuck. What's that on your shirt? It looks like an aborted duck. Can you please just go, the Cuck says? How about, no. Then he hee-hee to way. He he he he he. Then he he he to way. He he he he he he. Then he he to way.

He he he he. Till the very next day. Dump, dump, dump, dump, dump, dump. When the Cuck walked up to the letter to a stand, then he said to the man, run in the stand. Hey, dumb dumb dumb. Got any rapes? The man said, that's it. If you don't stay awake, I'll take a pair of scissors and cut your stupid Christmas lights. You weird fuckers, but don't get too close. The cop said, else then he hit you away he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he I don't know. He's selling levies. Got any scissors? He's selling gimp suits. Why would I open?

He he. Oh. It's gonna do to him. And one more question for you. I don't know. Got to put it on the side. Oh, he's, and then I'll do it. I think it's based on something.

He did it again. Called the duck song. Yeah. Let me get harmful opinions on here. Hey, harmful opinions, you there? Yeah, I am. How's it going? Hey, good man.

It's been a long time since we've talked to you. Welcome back to the show. Thank you. You've been basically what annihilated off the internet since then. I move more or less, more or less. I'm still on Twitch for now, at least, until the clock strikes 12 and the Twitch mods come for me

when the new guidelines go into effect tomorrow. Oh, is that tomorrow? That's tomorrow. It was going to be the 19th, but they pushed it back to tomorrow, saying they were gonna clarify it, which they haven't really done, except for one thing that made it even more horrifying. Cuban, come up a little bit. What was the one thing that, so let me just give everybody

a background in case they don't, they're not up on the Twitch stuff. I'm all into Twitch now, because I play piano on it, right? Yeah, yeah. That'd be just a nice time into Twitch now because I play piano on it, right? Yeah, yeah. That'll be just a nice time to relax. And I'm playing piano anyway, right? Why not fire up a camera and mic it up?

Because you get better if you're performing in front of people. Like, whatever you're performing. Yeah. Right. Like if you can sit on your own and practice endlessly, but one performance in front of people is worth like a thousand practices.

If that's your end goal, sure. Well, what do you mean is that's your end goal? Like to perform, because it depends, you know, performance may, if you're going for some kind of like, you know, technical efficiency or anything like that, that's one, it depends what you're trying to do, but ultimately music and stuff is probably should be performed.

Dude, I think that no matter what you're doing, if you're doing it in front of people and that panic is in your mind, that it makes your brain learn it better. Yeah, probably. Because you're afraid of your life. Yeah, yeah. It definitely develops something

that doesn't get developed anywhere else. That's true. Yeah. You play anything harmful? Oh's true. That's true. Yeah. You play anything harmful? Oh, yeah. I'm a guitarist. I used to work with some brands and stuff, even. Oh, yeah. Like who? Work with some brand. Oh, some like boot, boot, boot, beat guitar makers, like Golden Lindsey Wilson. Gotcha. Brands. Brands. They're the guys who make the aluminum ones. Oh, I've always wanted one of those. Resonator. Well, we mean like the old nationals.

Yeah. I don't know. No, he's talking pole style guitars. You're talking about solid body aluminium. You don't have machines. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, they hold on them out. Otherwise, it would break your fucking neck.

If you put it, if you strapped around your neck, but the holer and the, like, less pole style guitars. Yeah. But made out of aluminum. I don't know that. Yeah. It's endless sustain. I like the aluminium, because, saying it correctly, the way it spells it correctly. Well, it's the way that it originally was, because they wanted it the same, they changed

it later. Yeah. Speaking of changes, so Twitch is saying now that that if you they have this whole set of guidelines that you got to that you got to fit or else they'll block you and We're familiar with what that means, right? Like if you like harmful if you start just Telling the truth like if you start talking like you know a guy normally talks when we're sitting around talking to each other. If you talk like a regular guy where you just spell things out and talk about responsibility

and why things are happening and don't treat everything like this, there's this amorphous deity that's just picking good people to suffer a consequence, like no, you fucking, that happened to you because of this. That's the kind of shit that will get you banned. So Twitter Twitch is now saying, if you dress too provocatively, if you're being offensive anywhere, which for some of us, that's our goal.

Every day, it's fun. That's entertainment. Like some of us don't want to be sarcastic all the time. We want to be direct and tell people to fuck themselves. Some of us don't want to be good sports. Yeah. It want to be bad sports.

Here's the killer part though. It's not even just if you cross over the line, if your audience crosses over the line and you don't stop them. That's, they've been pretty explicit about this. And the most horrifying thing was yesterday or the day before, but very, very recently, they clarified even when you're offline, if people are using your Twitch's chat box and they break the rules, and you haven't put something in place, if you haven't got an moderation team together for the other, what, 20 hours I'm not streaming a day, if I don't use an AI bot, and rules are being broken,

when I'm not there, I can be banned because I haven't looked after my community. It's the most fucked up, like, it's not fucked up just because of Twitch, because it's a stupid video game thing that like a lot of people don't use. It's fucked up because it's exactly what I was saying. There's no such thing as rights anymore. No.

Like it doesn't, it doesn't exist if everything you use dinks you and deletes you because they don't like how you're talking. Or they don't like it everywhere. It's everywhere. Go ahead. There are very, very few places

I can think of where you can go and use the internet like everyone was for years. And what's been the consequence of that? What's happened directly from people just being able to speak how they want on the internet like everyone was for years. And what's been the consequence of that? What's happened directly from people just being able to speak how they want on the internet? Yeah. All the horrible stuff, you're like, oh, terrorism stuff.

That's not what people are getting banned for. It's fucked because you could, like, you could, you couldn't make a law to stop what's going on here, right? Like, when we started, I don't, is this getting too heavy this episode? We started it. You started America and you said,

this shit is so important, like freedom of speech, freedom of, this shit is so important that some people didn't even want to write it down. Like some federalists didn't even want to write the amendment, didn't even want to write the bill of rights down because they were worried it would imply two stupid people that this could be changed because it was made with a pen, I'll just change it with a pen. That's why they said, that's why we shouldn't even write it down because people are going to get the idea that somehow this is amendable and it's fucking not.

But they made us go ahead. I think those are what these people are thinking of. I think they just don't have the values to be a bit fluffy or poetic in their heart. They don't desire the freedom. They don't care. People don't care. No, they don't. And my point in bringing that up was you couldn't get these laws through the legal way. So now they've taken over, like they've taken over all of our media companies

and forced them through hashtags and through a mob rule to establish laws that could never get passed through the traditional court. It's exactly right. It's the more nefarious version of taxes have to be voted on so they call it a fee and you just pay it. Like for California has, oh, there's new fees. It's how you get the populist to pay taxes without calling them taxes.

Like the worst thing in the world is a straight up democracy where mob rules, where, where mob rules, where a majority wins every time. Because no, then the little guy always gets stomped on, you know, guys like harmful, like guys, guys, guys who don't have the money to fight this kind of shit, the worst thing in the world. And now we're fucking every day. We're closer to living in it. I know.

Every person that gets kicked off one of these platforms, like every little tweak to a TOS that makes more and more speech, not allowed on their platform. Every single one is just a bigger response to the mob and And it's gonna get fucking worse and worse. And that's what the first amendment has to be absolute. I don't know, man, I think we're in like a post- amendment world where we're not living in a corporateocracy. Like fucking obvious. Oh, I know, I know.

But it's the way that I, it's like, man, you, I'm a first amendment, I guess, absolutionist. Would be. You mean get rid of it or absoluteist? Oh, I'm sorry. I'm sorry, but, I guess, absolutionist. Would be. Get rid of it or absolutist. Oh, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, but I'm sorry. I'm so luteist. Pretty bad, right? I mean either way.

Yeah, no, absolutist. Yeah. Yeah, I don't know. Not abolitionist. So what the hell are you gonna do, harmful opinions? I don't know, to be honest, I mean, I've shifted how I, we're not shifted, but I've re-opened my Patreon account because-

Which is what? I don't just have full opinions. And I'm trying to like prepare, so I have a hub where if people don't want to give money to Amazon or Twitch, they can move their stuff off of there and put it there. I'm basically preparing to get banned and shift everything I'm doing.

The money side of things, I want to try to get like third party chat, so if I do have to move, wherever I move, I won't be totally just fucked. I'll have everything separate from the platform so that I can hop around better, but the places you can go are getting fewer and fewer. And I just worry that wherever we go,

it's going to become another mouse trap. You get sucked into Facebook, you get sucked into Facebook, you get sucked into Twitter, you get sucked into all these websites because they have that little bit of cheese. There you go. You can have an audience, you can say what you want. You can get out there. We are just great for you being able to speak your mind.

And then once everyone's there, not anyone. The door slam shut and they turn the burner on. Yeah. Yeah. And it's for like the work. You wouldn't tolerate that in real life if someone could buy up your fucking town,

everyone moves in and it's great. And then suddenly, oh yeah, by the way, there's nowhere else you can move in. Here's the new set of rules. Because it's illegal. Like all this shit that happens in the real space, in the meat space, or whatever, whatever you want to call off the internet

is not allowed precisely because we need to fucking millennials on the Supreme Court. That's what we need another Supreme Court of all millennials to just say, oh yeah, who have the brains of like who's through some kind of like freaky Friday situation. We just switch all of the Supreme Court to their younger selves, so they understand what the hell is going on, right? Because you can't take this shit,

like people, people, people say, oh, there's a private business, they can do it. Totally false, totally, that doesn't exist, it's never existed, that there's a private business that they can do whatever they want. Never, there's books of regulations that private businesses can do, but not online.

Yeah. And everything. I think that point works relative to how much the business opens their services to the public, how much it functions as a public space. So this is what Nick is talking about. So this is what Nick is talking about. About these. They can do more, but as they open up and let people in, more of what we,

more of the freedoms we'd expect in a public space have to be applied there. Yeah, this is what I believe Nick would say about. You're going to see a lot of that with the, what do they call it like a, like a default public platform or something like that? De facto. De facto, yeah, yeah, that's their fancy lawyer word. Because it's lawyers just change the word. Well, but de facto means in practice.

Like they call everything something different. Right. You gotta go take like, they call even they're taking a piss something different. Just so they can charge you, explain it to you what they mean. No, I think it is de facto. It, yeah.

In practice, it's used as a public forum. Here's a great example. There's harmful opinions. You sent me this video of... Oh yeah. You know, here's what's fucked too. Like this is what I really want to know. You harmful, you have autism, right? Yeah.

I said in that video was a joke. Was a total joke by the way. Okay, but do you? Yeah, yeah. I genuinely have autism. You genuinely have it. When I... Shall I say what's in the video?

So it makes sense to people. Oh yeah, yeah. Yeah, explain it a little bit before I play. So I do IRL streaming every now and then on Twitch where I go out with a big old fucking camera strap to my head and I stream what I'm doing. How big is the camera? Like an 80s, you know, RCA. It's a good pro. He's not as bad as it could be. What color do you wear like a helmet where my nephew has a helmet with a GoPro attachment on the top? I'm just imagining you in it.

It's neon green. It's pretty close, man. It's like a strap on, it's like a strap on both of your head. Okay. And with a camera instead of a big old don. Okay. So you can't, you can't miss that I have a camera.

I met up with a viewer and older gentleman Well, I was doing an hour of streaming. He was like, Hey, I knew where the pub J. R. Our Tolkien hung out in it. He's wanting to go check the house. So yeah, I went there went with them Was at the bar about to order a drink and this one one chick though who's bytending says you might want to be careful with that camera I think about data protection laws and I said oh, no, I'm I'm totally comfortable whatever and I said do you want me to be careful with that. Camera, I think about data protection laws, and I said, oh no, I'm totally comfortable, whatever. And I said, do you want me to leave, though? And she said, no, it's okay, we carry on. We pay for drinks, we go and sit down.

Few minutes later, she walks over again with her arms folded and I'm pouting. And trying to give me this lecture about how dangerous it is and how I could be sued. And apparently she didn't, she's acting like I hadn't already checked if it was okay with her. And she just has this attitude,

like she's trying to get me to submit to her, but at the same time I say, okay, do you want me to leave then? And she's saying no. And I don't know, I don't even know how to describe the attitude. No, it's so fucking weird because this is, I was just gonna talk about this.

I'm gonna, I'll play it in a second, but like the same thing happens to me when I complain about YouTube. I mean, she let me, she let me buy the drink. She wasn't too bothered to let me pay for what she's offering. Right. But then she comes over and starts telling me

about how she doesn't want to be filmed. It's like, fucking tell me before I pay you for something. Did she make you take it off in the white? Yeah, sex later. It's like this, it's the same thing with people who will say, oh, well, of course they have to ban all these narrative wells from their system because of advertisers. And my response is always, first of all, all advertisers a job is to please me I'm the like it's not that we don't have to satisfy the advertisers. It's the other way around

But secondly, why are you excusing this behave like what in you is driving you to excuse this behavior? It's exactly like that's the attitude that's impossible to describe is like that they're appeasing, like this is their sacrifice to some weird, like some weird thinking, like this, I can't explain it, but like I don't know why they feel the drive to correct you for something that they think you're doing wrong, that is not without checking it.

Like of all the thousands of things that are going on every day, why have they just picked this one to be wrong about? You know what I mean? Yeah, I mean it's even funnier in the UK because it's someone complaining about being filmed when I think we have the most surveillance country in the world, right? She's taking the time out of her day, having walked past 500 fucking CCTV cams that are recorded to complain about the one guy with a camera making sure you know you're being filmed at everything.

Yeah, it is like going to a bunch of, it's like going to a tribe that's never encountered modern technology and they think that the camera is stealing their soul. And we've all still think it. We're the people that will work on. Or in that situation, I was the person she thought it would work on. So she tried to try it on or whatever situation you've been in, they think it will work on you or something. So they go for it, whereas with other examples, they're too chicken shit.

Yeah, it's so weird how people have these, like, young people are like these, these roles in their head, like, well, those cameras are for the government. So they're fine. Right, they're fine. But that government owns my soul, but you having a camera,

you're gonna steal my soul. Right. I have a problem with that. Right. And I'm sure that some kind of, I have some kind of righteous ignoge. I'll play it for a little bit, just because it's, it's, that's funny. All right, I'm gonna that some kind of like, I have some kind of righteous ignoings. I'll play it for a little bit, just because it's funny.

All right, I'm gonna play it now. Kind of get. Not many other. Not many other. I was looking to find sense today, because I got a little bit. This harmful in a pub. Now here she comes with the cross-dome.

Switch. Switch. Grumpy cat over her. Yeah, this is the universal like chick. This is the universal sign for I'm a pain in the arm. Switch. Switch. Grumpy cat over her. Yeah, this is the universal, like, chick. This is the universal sign for I'm a pain in the ass. Like frogs in the wild will be painted bright neon green and pink if they're poison. Yeah.

This is what chicks do when they're gonna fuck up your day. They come, you know that they're common because their arms are crossed so that their entire body has been folded in half. Mm. Yeah. Right? Yeah. Looking like a grumpy old man. Okay, here you go. Is it you're not reporting now? It's alive. It's streamed. It's streamed.

If it's anything that's made public, you do have to have a best commission. For anybody that is on camera, so you would need to have a great time. Oh, we're not. I mean, in public spaces, you don't. However, as someone working at the establishment, you can ask me to leave when I will go. No, no, I'm just saying that if you record somebody prior to their consent,

especially written consent, then that is illegal. Pretend lawyer. I don't think he is in a public space. In a public space however you are recording me I am a person who has due to potential legislation based to protect the years. So... Do it. Do it. Do it. Do it. Do it.

Do it. Do it. Do it. Do it. Do it. Do it. Do it. Do it.

Do it. Do it. Do it. Do it. Do it. Do it. Do it. Do it. Do it.

Do it. Do it. Do it. Do it. Do it. Do it. Do it. Do it. Do it. Do it. Do it. Do it. Yeah, yeah, it's always life. It's always life. It's always life. Do you realise that anybody on the street could see you if you got them on your car? They could try. Yeah. They could try, but they wouldn't get anywhere with it. But they

actually have to wear this. What the fuck is this woman doing? Because I have autism, I have to track everything I'm doing I am just thinking wet because I think I'm going to be okay Beware! Thanks You're serving liquor that kills more people on earth than smoking Be careful of what you're recording, here's another beer You're serving liquor that kills more people on earth than smoking. Be careful of what you're recording. Here's another beer. Yeah. Are you fucking idiot? I mean, it just pisses me off. She didn't even have the decency to kick me out.

It's like, well, if you don't want, what's the fuck? I'm not going to turn off my camera. The whole point is me going around showing people stuff online. Yeah. I'm not going to turn it off. so please, just at least have the sack to say, get out of my establishment or something. I can't stand the passive aggressive stuff. That was really passive aggressive. Oh, did she think you're gonna put her up on like a dumpy,

dumpy bartenders, that XXX? That's my say, I go around with a giant helmet filming dumpy bartenders and then uploaded to my pornography save. I'm autistic. It's okay. I'm not. I don't know what she was thinking. Cause 99% of the time I go into a place,

I make sure they know I'm recording. And like, they're really happy to have it cause they're like a cool promotion. Yeah. They're happy with their establishment. They're happy with how they present themselves and how they behave. because they're like, oh cool promotion. Yeah. They're happy with their establishment. They're happy with how they present themselves and how they behave. So they're like, oh cool.

And sometimes they're even like, you can tell they're being a bit extra nice even. Yeah. This, she just doesn't get it, I guess. We're so fucked. That kind of person. We're so fucked. Loki was right.

We just want somebody to rule us and tell us what to do. I wish I'd said I have to have this camera on because I'm a sex offender. It didn't come to my mind in the moment. Yeah. You know, I always want to know, like, how come, so, like, I don't have the, I think I barely have the ability to not say offensive things,

but quite frequently, I'll just say something. You're like, oh, man, that was, that was pretty offensive. What I just said there, like why isn't, why isn't just being a man a protected disability or an American? Right? Like why isn't, why isn't autism, because that's like a frequent complaint of people have with people have autism, they say offensive shit, because they don't know. The social graces.

Yeah. with people of autism, they say offensive shit because they don't know the social graces. Yeah, so how are they, how does this, if one guy gets kicked off for saying something that they don't know any better for saying or that is offensive to someone, why is that not like an anti-disability suit or something like that, do we have? We need to write off the male sex. It's not men and male anymore.

It's testosterone poisoning syndrome. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Fun. I would like to I would like to file that lawsuit once I'm done blowing money on these lawyers. Right. For calling someone to cook too many times. That's nuts. I've been I've been following it as much as I can. I've been looking at this one. Got a kind of remember his name, but there's a gun YouTube. That lawyer can keep it up with that. And I watch his videos every time there's an update

Nick Riccata. It's Or is it the other or is it the youtuber law? Yeah, I think it's a youtuber law Yeah, the one with the really strange name. Yes. Yeah, Lee or lesser. Yeah, that's the one. Yeah, what do you think? What have you learned about it so far? I Don't know what to think it seems like a joke, but it's real. Terrifying. It's terrifying. You live in fucking nightmare world, dude. Yeah, it doesn't seem like a joke. Yeah, it does seem like a joke. I mean, isn't he, he's sitting in some crazy list of people as well,

including Patreon, right? Do you know what they're saying? Well, they're saying that according to the terms of service that that Maddox signed, everything has to be decided by an arbiter in California and that they, if they win, they get all the fees back or something like that. So they're saying he, because he signed the contract when he joined, and apparently those are binding. I didn't know that, but apparently they are, that because he's agreed to that. Must have good lawyers. Yeah. Apparently because he's a good lawyer. He must have good lawyers. Yeah, apparently because he agreed to that when he signed up that even filing the lawsuit

is a violation of the contract that he signed with them already. But who knows how much that costs the sign to file? That is, and it's surreal that this is all out of you burning his ex, right? Uh, yeah, yeah, no it is. There's no that word was boning, not burning. No, yeah, a little like burning. It's the most bizarre fucking thing. It's not even that you were fucking his current,

you fucked his current girlfriend. Oh, god, no. It has no taste. And he has a girlfriend now, right? Yeah, he lives with it. So this is what I'm saying. He's emotionally cucking her. Oh, dude.

So this is what, and this is what I'm saying. And by the way, I will give big money for this. I believe, like I'm harmful. Imagine this. Imagine that like a man and a woman live together and the man totally melts down over his ex hooking up with somebody. I would say with that person.

Well, what you would do is immediately go fuck another guy. You've been, you've been handed that card. You've been handed a go get dick for free card as Chris Rock would say. So I, I am 100% convinced that there exists a man in L.A. that Maddox's current girlfriend went and banged when he flipped out over his ex. Like as I know women, I could see that scene playing out a thousand times in my head. If you, if you react, if you jump out like that and start coming having like Obsessively texting your ex calling her at work the next morning like her ranging her about who she fucked If you're the girl that lives with that guy, there is no way you didn't go out and fuck another guy

And I will offer I will offer whoever that she did fuck Thousands of dollars to come clean with proof either texts that she sent him whoever that she did fuck thousands of dollars to come clean with proof. Either texts that she sent him saying that she wants to fuck or wants to hang out. Like if if if if mental Jess slept at their shared living space that night, I would be fucking floored because there is no I don't care how abused women are. There is no way they would tolerate that. I don't care what's wrong with them. There's not a woman on earth who would stay in that environment while their boyfriend is obsessively hitting up an ex of years ago, of years ago. No fucking way.

And by the way, that means, that means Maddox is a cuck and that would prove a stereos right. So if there is, that would prove a stereosis defense, the comedian who's also getting sued, that he is literally a cuck and that it's not defamation. So if that exists or I'll do watch out though. Now you're going to get Maddox saying you put a bounty out to fuck his girlfriend. No, no, already happened. It has to have already happened.

It has to have already happened. It has to have already happened. And I need that clarification out there. I need fucking proof or herself, or mental chess could come forward. If she's dumping Maddox, like how could you fucking hang her? Like, how do you be with a man who's doing these types of things to people?

You can't suck that guys, Dick. You know, you gotta wanna please, you can't wanna be with this. If she wants to come forward and admit it, with proof that she did it, I will give her the fucking money. I will give her the fucking money as well. 2500 bucks.

That's my offer. That's fucking, that's two months rent in LA. That's what I'll give to anybody who has proof that this happened and I fucking, I've never been more sure of anything in my fucking life that's this happened. Sorry to go off on a tangent, but there you go. It's all right, man. I can imagine you've got a lot of anger, anger, caged. I'd be raging 24-7 of anger, anger, caged.

I'd be raging 24 a seven. I wouldn't say caged. Yeah, well, less caged than you think. It's like the beginning of Jurassic Park. He's fucking against that fucking thing. What makes you a rave? I've just been thinking, what if Maddox only got so upset because he wants to be cucked

and he's annoyed that you didn't fuck her while he was with her. I mean, I'll tell you, he's always fantasy slip through his fingers so near and yet so far. Okay, this is where this is this is the autism because I would have never come up with that in a million years. No, but it's making me think. Yeah, for a, there's there's a lot of weird sexual comments that people have made about Maddox since the lawsuit came out. Like the fact that, remember that episode when he brought in non-offending pedophiles? And he was talking up how important it was

to let pedophiles breathe freely as long as they don't offend. And I was like, are you fucking, are you nuts? This is the weirdest conversation ever. And he cut all the jokes I made about it. Yeah. And then he's got like, Clegg is still a moderator in his chats who people tell me has admitted to being attracted to like,

like, uh, uncomfortable attraction to, they call him like, ebophiles or something like that. So, uh, yeah, the teenager, the right. Yeah, and then legally a minor, but post puberty. Yeah, there's a weird word. Technically, I'm not a pedophile. Yes, technically, I'm not a, yeah, you know, me too,

but I'm also not. Really? That, and then like when he, when Maddox brought in, how he's always talking about how like, what is sex, it's basically a hug. Like are getting people are coming up with some that's a fucking creepy ass You never heard that one. I don't it seems new to me right now. Oh, yeah, dude. What a weird statement Yeah, that's a statement he made for he makes frequently like you know what sex. It's just like basically a hug It's just physical contact like the worst episode of Sesame Street ever.

Yeah. I wouldn't be surprised if you're right, Harmful. Maybe he does, like, we'll like it in a sick way. So he's extra mad. He did a video defending cockle tree, didn't he? He did. He explained to the entire internet that we shouldn't be laughing because it's just a sexual fetish. And that we don't know what we're talking about. I mean, I'm happy to defend Cuckoldry, but I'll go down a different path, right? When you have guys getting cucked, that means there are a bunch of chicks you can knock up and then have someone else pay for.

Yeah, it's talking about like real Cuckoldry. Yeah, yeah, that means about, yeah, yeah, yeah, it's great. That means there's a pool of women where if if you have them as a booty call or something in the condom breaks, you don't have to worry because their cuck's gonna pay for it. Yeah, so it's great for the cucker. Yeah. What's good for the cucker?

What's good for the cuck is good for the cucker. What's good for the cuss is good for the cuck, I don't know. All right, man, what makes you a rage? Fucking Twitch guidelines. I guess I went in with that right at the start. The impending doom of the internet, I think I fuck, I think I did this last time as well, pretty much.

Yeah. But this whole, okay, let's be more specific. Making it so that people who just do things, and are watched by other people, so I just play fucking video games on the internet. People watch, we have a chat, but all the companies try to turn you into a leader or a role model,

which in particular literally says, you are the leader and role model for your community and makes you responsible as if your viewers are children in your kindergarten. This new shift of responsibility to people who are expressing themselves for the people who watch them. I mean, this isn't exactly new, we've had it with people saying video games

cause shootings and that sort of thing. It's long those lines, but now anyone can be a target of this bullshit, where just because you popped online and said some things without Without like spreading fake news or anything like that, you're responsible for how it influences other people's personalities or something. If someone watches you and then does something else, you can take responsibility. And now that's become part of the rules in all the places you can talk to the public, like Twitter or YouTube or Twitch. Yeah. It makes it easier for those kind of people

to place responsibility in the hands of fewer people. You can wipe out whole swaths of people by banning one, essentially. And I don't even know what the point of it is. I don't know why everybody's so gung-ho with getting people shut down. It's so incredible. It's kind of afraid as well because one of the things that lets these websites function

is that they can say, oh, we don't have the resources to police everything that goes up, but as soon as we hear about something terrible happening, we can deal with it. Now they're bringing in tighter and tighter rules and they're bringing better and better tools or the AI stuff. Well, guess what? They can check everything now and it's gonna become a service. No one wants to use eventually They've shooted themselves in the foot. They should just hold back and say now we can't actually pull any of this off It's impossible. Yeah, yeah

Yeah, and there's and every time they do it like every time they get involved the company gets involved or a University gets involved in figuring out if an actual crime happened, like oh, someone was assaulted, someone was sexually assaulted, they get in and they have follow their procedure for determining guilt and they get it wrong extraordinarily often. And it's like, well, I mean, you guys just fucking,

none of you know what you're doing in this regard. Your core competence, like, you know, Twitch isn't going out and building cars, so why are they making courts? Like, you guys don't know what the fuck you're doing. Just stick to, stick to what you're doing for God's sakes. It works. It's not like they're not making money, right?

Yeah. No. Yeah, fuck, here's another thing that annoys me. The people are like, oh, just let it happen and then make your own. They can do what they want. It's like, yeah, but it's a bad choice. How about? How about? Encouraging them to keep doing the thing that works. Someone else makes their own of whatever they want

with these shitty fucking rules. We'll see how that goes and then maybe they can try it. But you can't make your own. You can't make your own. You can't make your own. Gab made their own and then Apple and Google kicked them off the app store so they're effectively dead. Yeah.

No, the big icon can. Yeah, and they got sucked by their domain registrar or something, didn't they? Yeah. So all the big companies who exist because the government controls the phone lines, like, that's not a private company. It's no competition. It's insane. No, competition just gets crushed by the boot heel of the big guys immediately.

You don't have any, there's no free market. No, no, it doesn't exist. None of it exists. None of it exists. We're living in the corporate accuracy already, and it's terrifying to me. Actually, in this sense of fucking digital dread, and that you can't even properly rage against it, you can't, because what do you do? How do you go against it?

The second you try to do something really spicy against it, suddenly you don't have a voice anymore. And I miss you all, I miss your videos. I fucking love the harmful opinions videos. Like there was a sense of like, bravado to them and confidence and like, the detailed breakdown of how people were fucked. It was so satisfying and they're just fucking wrong.

I was gonna do one now and then, even though I switched mostly to streaming, but they fucking banned me. I've got some accounts on there left over, but technically I'm evading a ban. So I've got the thought in the back of my mind, hey, anytime if I ever get any sort of attention from the wrong person, I can be wiped off

because technically I'm breaking the rules by still being there. Yeah, I don't know what it's gonna take to stop it. Well, we had, I mean, didn't we have like a revolution over the shit once? Already? To get it in the first place? Unfortunately, you can't shoot people over the internet.

You know what, you don't need to shoot anymore. That's not the fifth generational war. It's gonna be all tech, it's going to have, it's going to be all tech, it's going to be all memes. It's stupid as it is to make fun of like the meme farmers on 4chan. The thoughts, the ability to craft thoughts in an independent and autonomous way that operate like a virus to the human mind is more powerful than any weapon that you can build in Home Depot. The scary thing though, man, is the AI moderation system they've got.

And they've even thought ahead. There's even this, man, I can't know which university, but there's some university where they have a project to train an AI to figure out when people are using new code language and coded language and stuff and then moderate that. I think it's going to come down to counter AI. That's the word.

AI's versus AI's. We're going to see who's AI wins, right? The 4chan one or the Google one. I'm always betting on the spammers. You give me 80,000 you give me eight engineers and 80,000 spammers. Spammers are going to fucking win every time. There are a I might look like a trash can with the tank treads, but there's going to you can never stop them. You can never. They're going to make an AI that just helps you tweak your posts so that when people read enough of your posts eventually you just straight up get autism and then everything will

be solved. Yeah. All right, man. Have a good one. Go back to our new home matrices. Yeah, thank you. Thank you. I guess a little heavy, but it's frustrating to us.

Yeah. I mean, maybe that's not the most entertaining type of stuff that happens on this show, but I can't see how that's ever bad to bring it up again. Sometimes you just want to avoid it and just check out, you know, but it's like, no, but this shit, this is real shit. Yeah, it matters. That's affecting people. It does, little shit. Yeah, matters. That's affecting people. It does, it as, as on one side of me, I go, it's so stupid. And then I can never forget that it does matter because the, the, virtual and, and, and the meat world, as you say, are, they're completely intertwined at this point. There's no, there's no line. It's completely blurred. So kids are growing up, little boys,

you're going to grow up thinking that they are inherently against the terms of service of life. Yeah. Yeah. And that's the reality of what we've done here. I looked up some stuff about corporate藝orcies. Yeah. Because I'm interested in it now. Mussolini was big on it. Mussolini was big on it. The pairing of a fascist government with a corporate state, like with corporate entities, where the fascism is enacted through corporations. Yeah, and it sounds like Dom and, you know, fantastical.

But it's also the natural evolution of companies who just have too much fucking money. Yeah, I agree. Like, why lobby when you can just do what you want yourself because you control everybody's email? You can, yeah, well, that's, no, that's true. Now you don't even, now you don't even have to write the bills and get them pushed with, where you don't just do it.

Yeah, you just do it yourself. Yeah, just filter out some words that people use. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, just filter out some words. Yeah, people. People use that. Yeah. Like, you know, all right. Somebody sent in a toilet fan. You remember how I was complaining about quiet toilet fans? Yeah. In Portland, this dude sent in lowercase RBGLD. Dick Field, the shit silencing and baby waking power of this man's toilet fan. I should probably turn this down, huh? Yeah, maybe.

There you go. Well, maybe turn it up, I guess. Okay. I guess it's hard to tell when you control, it's hard to tell when we control the volume how loud it is actually. I mean, it doesn't seem that loud in relation to the light switch. It's, I'm right. It sounds loud when I play on my computer, does it?

Yeah, oh well. All right, well, get a loud fan. Get a loud fan. Get a loud fan. I got some comments here. Ryan Rendon, I've got a problem with recipe websites. The authors try to squeeze out their memoirs into these pages when online need is a recipe for salsa.

I'm not reading the whole page and they know it. I scroll until I see an ingredients list and start from there. Yeah, it's because they're writing it for fucking search engines. Yeah. They always put this fucking preamble in. Yeah. Yeah, Google ruined the goddamn internet. It may be a weak sounding rage, but wait until you need a recipe for something

you're suddenly craving and all you find is stories about Tim and Jenny dating in New York City or how Jenny's kids just love these cake pops after a long day at school where kids get straight A's and have never been spanked in their lives because they're so perfect. Yeah, that's true. Let's give me the recipe, bitch. My room record says shitty pencil erasers. When you try and erase what you wrote and all it does is smudge the lead all over the page. Oh, man, that's true.

You get those erasers that are like hard as a rock. Yeah. And they say, you have a skid. And you know, it's going to be. Basically using a pen at this point. It's the leading cause of school shootings. I got a known fact. I got a funny one. What the problem is, I got a funny school shooting story for you. Oh, we were talking about, you know, school shootings last week. Yeah. And so 80s girls teacher, obviously. And they do these, they do these shooting drills. Schools are doing this now.

Yeah, shooting drills. Why don't they do drills for a teacher winning the lottery, right? This is what happens, Mr. Johnson won the lottery. He doesn't show up. So they have somebody run around the school like forcing their way into classrooms, pointing at kids and saying freeze. Mm-hmm.

Because they're shooting them. Yeah, this is someone's idea of a thing to do. Just traumatize all the kids at once. So you can get it over with. Using the, using the, the verbiage of a playground game. Freeze! Yeah. That's, using the, the verbiage of a playground game. Freeze! Yeah. Genius.

Genius, right? Stick to what? Stick to what you got hired for, you fucking idiot. So they go door to door, kicking indoors. Like, they got to teach us on the other side, pretending to hold it, pretending to barricade doors for a fake school shooter who's running around. And they go through this, farcical exercise afterwards, one of the kids the next day goes to 80s girl, oh, hey, so they're 10 years old.

He says, oh, so like if we do have an intruder, everyone's supposed to freeze, right? No, the opposite. And all the other kids are nodding like, oh, yeah, yeah, thatuder, everyone's supposed to freeze, right? No, the opposite. And all the other kids are nodding like, oh yeah, yeah, that's what we're supposed to do, right? If it's cool, if somebody comes in with a gun, everyone is just supposed to freeze. Like no, no, no, not at all. No, stop trying to help!

Dejante, people who at work always ask what you're eating for lunch. Yeah. Just to see if they can imagine that it's better than what they have. I don't know what you got there. Yeah. Let me touch it. Oh, that sounds good.

I sure wish I had that. Let me taste it. Let me touch it. Fuck, fuck off. Go do your own. Cronus poo says, where'd all my shelf space go? I thought I had a house, but it turns out I only have about three feet of shelf space

to store my shit. Everything else gets gobbled up on my wife and kid. My wife has 18 different types of shampoo and a billion tubes of styling shit to put in her hair. Don't brush your teeth with that. No, I know, I bet he's brushed his teeth with something he shouldn't have.

I have one, each, I have one each of the cheapest shampoo and soap known to man. And I can never find it because it gets crammed behind all the other shit. Oh God, you know how I was talking about women hiding your shit. This is a good one. Yeah, I've got all, I've got a list of hidden things. Oh, from from from. Listeners. Yeah.

Gestapo pizza, pizza wolf. Oh, she's all the time. I have very specific places where all of my kitchen tools go. And when a woman straightens up, it's a game of clue cross with mist to solve the impossible puzzles. Just like. Goat, goat pen X cleaned up my tool pile years back. fancy deWalt impact driver has been MIA ever since wow we lost an impact driver gone but not forgotten Bonitis says my boyfriend's sister cleaned up our place while we were out and I couldn't find my Gundam models anywhere Which lost is Gundam models. You know a Gundam models are like these big statues. How do you how do you put away a Gundam models. You know what Gundam models are? Like these big statues. How do you put away a Gundam model? No. Nahatchit Mahatchri. I keep a hatchet near my bed because the British didn't want us to bear firearms following an armed uprising, which we royally botched

up a problem that was compounded further by letting an affirmative action person draft our constitution, which results, okay. My girlfriend moved in and rearranged my shit. It took me three months to find the hatchet. That's one, they're gonna really hide that one deep. A hatchet, bullets, guns, stuff like that. Stuff that resembles your penis is an extension of your penis in any way. They're gonna really pack that one away.

Leo Weissall says, I put my man's passport in a safe place when we moved. He was going away and needed it. And I had no idea where my safe place was. Turns out I put it inside of a tampon box inside of a garbage bag. Why did I do that? I don't know, I'll be forever.

Sorry about it. All right, there you go. Okay, everybody. Oh, Larry's here. All right. Is that him trying to skype? I don't know, maybe. Hey, Larry, what's going on?

What are you doing? Blow, can you hear me? Yeah. What's up? Thank God for Mad Cucks. Mm-hmm. That's very good, I'm assuming. How you doing?

Take, how are you, Sean? Hey, Larry. How you doing? Good. What's going on? What have you got for us? Hey, did you ever figure out if that chip was poop or what? I've been holding that in a dance for a big reveal. Who will crack open that bag?

All right. Come on in and crack it open. I've read it. One of these days. Come on in and crack it open. One of these days. Come on in and crack it open one of these days. Why don't you? I'd love to. We'll have somebody there to verify its authenticity.

Yeah. All right, what have you got? There's like a guy I'm so fucking furious of, you know, my last episode, I just verbally slapped this shit out of that pusified sheriff down in Florida. Oh, yeah. And I, yeah, and I made kind of a condensed version of it to run YouTube with just the thumbnail.

And the fucking thing isn't posted for minutes. And suddenly I get, we've age restricted your video. Oh, yeah. Oh, what the fuck? Yeah. Okay. This can't be. And so, you know, the thing had no, no obscenity, no violence. Another so-called community guidelines. Subject matter. Yeah. And I'm surfing around like fucking Chris Rock and Bill Burr and Amy Schumer. I mean, they get millions of views. All their collective motherfuckers could fill a stadium and anybody can watch their shit, there's no age restriction on that whatsoever. And then I look even further and I can find with our age restriction without signing in, there's videos of horses getting their

fucking heads blown off. Okay, I doesn't care by me. Sorry I did that. Consciousness is gas station parking lots, 14, 15 million views. And I fucking had a belly full because clearly they just didn't like what I was saying. You know, complete bullshit. Yeah, their guidelines are selectively enforced. And now we're finding out it's not just you,

it's not just a Nick Ricate out it's not just you. It's not just Everybody Nick Riccade. It's not just Alex Jones even even Naomi fucking wolf had her shit put behind the the age curtain And she's to the left of Kim Jong-un So um, so I have an idea. I have an idea and I am seeking the participation and help of the mighty, mighty dickheads around the globe. Okay. You're comfortable. My idea is this. It's all, it's all PC bullshit.

And I don't care whether it's Facebook or Twitter or YouTube, it's all it is. And so what would happen, and I don't do want my name linked with this eternally, think these three initials, LFD, Larry's flag day, right? Okay. So what is all bullshit about? Everybody's flagging everything, right?

So what would happen? What would happen if all the mighty dickheads around the globe got together and others, and it just thing went viral. Everybody say on, you know, on some Tuesday between 10 o'clock and noon Well when's flag day logged in and flagged every fucking thing everything every post every tweet every video Everything's offensive to me flag flag flag until your fucking finger when is that day? When is flag day the real one June 14

But I'm wondering if some you know some sneaky, some forechanginuses or something, if this should be, we should pick another day and just fucking coordinate this flag day and fuck up their shit that way. Well, who are you gonna find? Like everything, like everything you fucking see on those three platforms on one particular day. And what would happen to them? We would have blocked their servers. Oh, certainly all that. No.

They're a little fucking, Nazi, thought Nazis from the Southern, what the fuck is that? The Southern party law center, right? Yeah. They're the ones that are doing it on YouTube now. I mean, they'd be overwhelmed. Oh, I do hate them.

Yeah, they would be a good candidate, because they're fucking assholes. They've been fucking hard. They fuck with everybody all the time. But are they the ones that said Pepe the frog was like a racist hate meme or something like that? Oh, everybody's, everybody's that sure. I don't, I don't know about false flagging.

It might be a violation of something. So I'm worried about it. But really? Well, I am. Yeah, Larry, I'm getting sued for calling someone a cuck. And this sounds like fun. I hear you that. No, so they've got... So basically, what you're telling me is everything,

violation of their terms of service. Well, yeah, anything that's too fun is a violation of the terms of service. Yeah, much fun. We have a right to be offended at everything, right? That's really what's gone wrong with the fucking planet. Everybody's offended for a four-seventh. If you are offended by it, if you are offended by the things that the Southern poverty law center is doing, then yeah,

you should let, like, that should, if you actually are, that's a valid use of their tools. Yes, of course. And maybe Flag Day is the day to go around looking for offensive material, you know? But look at the way they even do it. When you get their notifications, right? What do they say? There's really, there's a lot to be learned from their wording. What do they say? Yeah. You know, we've, you've, you've, you've violated our community guidelines. And then

they tell you, you have the right to appeal. No, wait a minute. This isn't a fucking court of law. It's a corporation. I don't have to appeal shit to you. Yeah. And then of course, there's never a name attached. It's the team, the team. You know, it's incredibly fucking or well-earned. It's not like they're going to change your decision,

probably. In very rare cases. I spent all morning yesterday yelling at this woman on eBay customer service because they like they I was trying to sell a goddamn iPhone and the weirdo who bought it disputed it because he said the screen was like it's an iPhone 5. I said the screen was at 90% of something not 100% so as far as like a quality or you know, we have some pristine it is or something. Yeah, like, like, not is like a 90% light factor or something like there's a tool

to see how much white it was. And he said it was 90 instead of a hundred. So he sent it to me asking for a return. I said, get fucked. Yeah. So I phone five. It's like, it's five years old. Yeah. Don't. What are you talking about 90%? So I got shit to do. I was at Road Rage Portland when this was happening. eBay decided to give him the return. Like he raised, he said, no, I really want it. And eBay stepped in and said, yeah, that's a return.

I was like, what the hell are you talking about? That's a return. Where do you guys fit into this besides taking a cut of what I fucking do? Get the hell out of here, no. I was just, well, we've issued a refund and when it gets in the mail, we'll release their money and you'll get your thing back.

So I said, okay. And then I got another email saying, never mind, we've just released the money. What are you talking about? I don't have my thing back. So I, Sean, I spent, I spent probably an hour on the phone just laying into the customer service lady. Like I've laid into so many customer service people because they're all, like they can all just fix it

and make it go away, they just choose not to. Like depending on how badly they want, depending on how much they identify the company they work for, it has their family. That's right, which is sometimes a tremendous amount and sometimes not very much at all. Like I'll get shit, I'm not entitled to and then get rejected for shit that I am entitled to

just based on the person. Yeah, I think a lot of I'm not entitled to, and then get rejected for shit that I am entitled to, just based on the person. Yeah, I think a lot of that's fear driven too, not even necessarily the family thing. Yeah. How much of a rule follower they are. How much they're afraid to lose that job. And they seem to go above and beyond sometimes inventing their own rules. Like that bartender that went to fuck

with harmful opinions, like inventing her own interpretation of the laws that she wants you to follow. Exactly like, and still the whole thing. I think all I wanted from eBay was for them to print me a shipping label that I paid for, and I couldn't get them to do that because the rules said it was closed. Like, you got to be fucking kidding me, lady. Um, anyway, you were able to connect with a breathing person. I mean, this shit is very difficult. Very difficult.

In the fucking ether. It was useless. How did you do that? How did you do that? Absolutely nothing. I'd rather just get a box that said, fuck you, we're not doing it. Instead of having some fucking glad-handing bitch like,

pretend that she's gonna, with the cheery, chip-or-voice pretending that she's solving my problems when she's not gonna do a goddamn thing. And then they sit there on the phone with you. Is there anything else I could help you with? Like, how do you even- What is it else? You didn't do it.

You didn't do it. Just sit there and fucking silence. I'm gonna leave my phone on speaker all day and you can go around with me so, I'm sitting you in time out. You fucking bitch. You have to just follow me along listening at work in silence. That's your punishment for what you've chosen to do.

And somehow they're still winning in that scenario. Yeah, cause they still winning. Yeah. Oh God, it drove me insane. It drove me so insane that I made it a goal just to just waste as much time as possible. I guess is jokes on me ultimately. Yeah. Yeah. I never got it. I never got it. I never got it. Yeah. Anyway, this cake now. So that you've just been essentially ripped off as I've found a stand correctly. Yeah. I don't know if I'll ever see it again.

Mm-hmm. But, you know, everyone assures me that it was not their fault. Everybody involved. I'm sorry this happened. I'm sorry, I'm sorry. So I'm sorry to hear that, right? I'm sorry to hear that.

I'm sorry to hear that and how it's gonna help you. You can go fuck yourself. That's how you can help me. Yeah, you really can. As I was yelling at the woman, I had the impression that she'd never been yelled at like that before. And it made me sad because I think that her life,

that her decisions would be different if she had gotten this treatment frequently. Like that's my feeling about customer service. Yeah. Everybody should lay into customer service people as hard as possible because their job is to keep you from getting what you want, or what you're owed.

Yeah, you have to look at them as an impediment, set up by the company, so they're running interference. And they've taken this job. Yeah. As soon as they sign up to be customer service, they lose. They lose their humanity. You're helping them out. Yeah, because the humans who accidentally end up in there,

you know, they need to figure out that like they, they're better people than that. And they need to get the fuck out of there. Oh yeah. If they can feel the things that they are feeling. Yeah. It's like we go to the army. You give up certain rights when you get in the army.

You give up the right to trials that normal civilians take. That's what it is when you get into customer service. Yeah. You're absolving your right of being treated like a person. Weed them out. No, you have absolving your right of being treated like a person. Weed them out. No, you have to, I've said exactly as much to people who are, I'm gonna call customer service now, it's like they're not human beings.

You hate that. Don't treat them like that. Yeah. These are sub, these are sub-human people. They really aren't. They're, all right Larry, Larry's flag day, huh? You're gonna go around. You gotta do it on real flag day.

That's what we got. That's a real flag day. Because that's what we got. You gotta do it on real flag day. That's how we got a flag day. That's how we got a flag. No, that's how we got Christmas. You've gotta do it on a, on a, on a, on a, on a former, yeah, you know, where you have to really do it on flag day. Yeah. All right.

Tell the crowd or get crowd are involved. That sounds like something. How do we, you know, does anybody have a line? It's because like I said, I can't do this alone, but you know what? I, I mentioned this in my last show, and I got a lot of, a lot of people saying, yeah, I can't do this alone. But you know what? I mentioned this in my last show and I got a lot of a lot of people saying, yeah, that's a fucking great idea. It is a great idea. I get it. I get to have some some you know, some some confederates to make this happen. Okay. Well, don't call them confederates. That's step one.

That's a racist dog whistle if I've ever heard it. I want to see. I will say. Let's see, we got a long time to prepare for Larry's flag day. You know, long time, but it'd be a lot of fun to see what happened. Yeah. It's funny how words take on, they mean something else, but then exactly. There's no, that work is not necessarily pegged to the American Civil War for crisis. Well, you can't say that because now you're thinking of chicks doing you up the ass with

strap on. Like, it's like the word, like the word ghetto. Like ghetto. Ghetto is not black No, no, no, I don't think it's black. No, it's just Jewish. It's the No, but it's like but that's the thing if you say oh, that's that's ghetto. It's like that's you're saying it's Jewish No, it's just where people don't know where words come from yeah All right, but there was an existence, the word existed and meant something before whatever the popular usage of the time changed it into.

Yeah. All right, Larry. See ya. All right, man. Good talk to you. Take care. See you, Larry. Yeah, we need some of those words back.

This from a free speech absolutionist. So. All right. A.C.J.A. you there? I'm there. I'm here. Just to confirm, just to confirm, get a definitely isn't black. It is Jewish. Yeah. Yeah. There. It's now it's a, it's like a branding war. Oh no, get us not ours. It's definitely belongs, it definitely belongs to the Jews. Well, no, but it's just that people will say like, oh, that's racist. Like that's, you know, the, and they don't know why it's,

you know, if somebody says, refers to something as ghetto or as, yeah, I say it all the time. Yeah. I didn't know I was, I didn't know I was anti-Semitic too. I thought I was just racist. Well, you know, you can, it's a year you can branch out. Yeah.

I guess you can learn things later in life after all. Yeah. So CJ. So CJ, CJ's got this group on Facebook or he's got all of his like profiles named, uh, Fig bat digger Nick. Jesus. He said he said he said it. Oh, man, you know, I it. You said it, you said it. Oh man, you're not long of your weight if you just say that. Yeah, I hate saying it and I hate seeing it because every time I fucking see it, my brain mixes it up.

Yeah, so what it is, every time I see you, I'm so happy to see you commenting, but then I get goddamn it, it's thick back. And like it's irresistible to try to say it. Got it like Sean. It is, it is. Everything in your mind is used, you are wanting to say thatible to try to say it. Got like Sean. Everything in your mind is you are wanting to say that right now. I know it. I know that everybody listening wants to say it.

Figbat and Digger Nick. I mean, it's some pop. Like at every time I feel like I'm, I feel like I get that feeling like you're walking up to the edge of a cliff to show off. You know, like everybody check this out. I'm getting very close to the edge of this mountain. F off. Like, everybody check this out, I'm getting very close to the edge of this mountain.

Big back, digger Nick. Like, oh. Oh. You know what I'm saying? I was coming back when you shout off the cliff. No way. My speech is not working this episode.

Big back, digger Nick. No, not gonna attempt it. It took me, I had to read it. I was showing you, you get free pass. You can, you can, you can. Oh yeah, I had to read it. You get free pass. You can, you can, you can. Oh, yeah, I get a free pass. CJ's black, he can give you that free pass. CJ's not black, is he?

Yeah. Yes he is. Yeah, he's very black. No. Yes he is. What do you mean, no? Yeah, yeah, he does the guy who's literally just eyes and a smile from the UK meetup.

Yeah, he's those the dickhead UK meetups. Google. Yeah, it refuses to even if you say there's a face here, Google says, no, there's no face there. He's so he's just it's just big back digger Nick. Is that yeah, you got it? Okay, good job. Sweet congratulations to not again.

He's gonna chop it up and every time I see like on your mother fuckers. Anyway, man, what makes you a rage? I know you told me earlier, but tell us what makes you a rage. I'm gonna have to tell you if my week of woe, what makes me a rage? Kidney stones. Yeah. Oh, shit.

Oh, god. Sometime around this time last week. I had a bit of a little bit of a stomachache, nothing special. I eat massive amounts of breakfast. I know it's a scam, but I tried my best to prove that it wasn't a scam. Breakfast can be initial and delicious. I'm not telling you it's not good. It's delicious.

There are some downsides unfortunately to eat in huge amounts of breakfast. And I've talked on for the team. I woke up one day and I felt like Julius Caesar walking into the Senate, except it happened every 20 minutes. Oh, getting stabbed in the back. Yes, back to the back, the front. I couldn't even move my bar sates before it to the front. I couldn't even move my my my boss hates me for it to be fair Though it's something I cannot control. It's terrible. I got carted after the hospital the last time I'd been to the hospital

Was 10 years ago for dog bites Lando wasn't involved It was it was kind of standard you're standard yeah visit to the visit to the A&E a going and What do you have never been today? You properly for ages are walking they gave me the checks now you know it's black as a dog bit him We're we're delivering nail That was delivered bell just someone That wasn't delivered by just someone on the way. Can you say?

Can you say some lines from Lockstalk and Two Smoking barrels? This is the fucking accent from that movie, right? I was just just able to do this. Does it? If you look at the side of my gun, it says, well, that's a ego. That's not.

Oh, that's not. Yeah. Okay, say do some snatch lines. So if you look at the side of the moigan, like the risk, yeah, I'm a bit more of a yum, yum more do some snatch lines. So you look at the size of Morgan. Like, or is? Yeah, I'm a bit more of a yum, yum, more than anything else. Like, I'm quote, funny enough, right? I'm from like the center of England. So I'm from near what we call the black country, not the country you're thinking of.

Yeah. You know, the black country is the area. Right. So the continent. Right. So you end up at the hospital with this stabbing, pep, man, dude, kidney stones. I fuck it. There's no joke. There's supposed to be one of the worst things. You can't walk.

I don't ever want one. You can't do anything. You can't even lie down. It's like, you know, everyone's like, I'll sit down, lie down, you'll be fine. You can't even sleep. It's, you can't lie down. It's that bad.

You have to sit up, like even hospital. My mom, my mom had one. Sorry, we were on vacation and my mom got one, like she heard back just started killing her. No explanation, why? You don't know that a kidney stone means you feel like your spine is getting broken in half, right?

She gets horrible, it's absolutely horrible. We don't wish it upon my enemy. I wouldn't wish it upon my dogs. No. We were the dark, the bitcher? Give me a look. We were in the dark and put the fuck down. So I'm happy to be fair, no offense.

I'm not against, I'm usually against putting dogs down, but that motherfucker had to go. Yeah, yeah, yeah, some of them do. We waited in that hospital for her to get, like for my mom to get morphine or whatever pain killer for like probably 40 minutes. Yeah. While these fucking nurses and doctors were just like chatting on the phone,

hanging out, it was so goddamn frustrating because you walk up and you try to explain, like, is this, I've been through NHS in England and I found it to be one of the most, like, I found it to be a cross between a DMV and a CVS. Yes, absolutely. I had to wait. I had to wait. I had to wait. Yeah, it was fucking terrible.

I thought I would walk into a socialist wonderland. And it was, I was just, I was waiting in a multicultural oblivion, like a limbo for hours, with no order of anything at all. Like you don't even pull a number to get served, you just go sit, and they're like sit and we'll wait till, and get, it was like the, it was like in Beetlejuice. Where you're sitting there with all these fucking monsters, who are, they're all look fine and you're in miserable pain, and they're like, well, we'll, we'll get you when we get to you. At least they had numbers. At least they had numbers. At least they had fucking numbers. God, it was a fucking night.

So you're sitting there with a kidney stone. You're sitting in the DMV with a kidney stone the way to get it in there. Well, my visit, this is how my visit went. So I went in there, like nine o'clock in the morning. Yeah. A tough work. Straight away, what straight in?

Walking, sitting there. Now, they give you a ticket, you wait and I'll say, well give you a call when you're ready. They call you in the toilet room. They ask you some questions and they're literally just pushing you through the system. You're literally getting processed like you're going into jail. They asked me some questions. I told them what was wrong. They said, fine, instantly they question my manhood straight away. They're like, yo, get this big ass bullet pill and stick it up your ass. And I was given the moral point for you.

Wait, what? They gave you a depository immediately? They gave me immediately, they says, this sounds really serious and immediately gave me a depository. Sean, this is socialized medicine. This is socialized medicine. They say it's so great,

but as soon as you come in, you take this up your ass. What was it for? It was for the pain. It was like I know yeah to question myself like holy shit like I'm in a situation where I'm asking myself like okay, you've been It wasn't even me. They just want your ass to hurt worse than your back Who the fuck no you need to get a name and a badge number of the nurse that gives you bitch I fucking know that drugs come in a swallowable form. Yeah of every variety. Take your ass pills out Fucking you do them take them home and do whatever they came prepared for me They gave me the big sassy blackness. Oh boy.

Straight out of scrubs. What the hell is the gay blackness? He was like, take this and put it up your bum. And I was like, what? And she was like, yeah, you heard me. Go over there into the ladies. I was like, the ladies. She says, yeah, the men are out of order.

Go over there into the ladies. And she's like, this is the problem. I was like, I know about pine ponds from this. Yeah. Oh, so I went into the bathroom and asked myself the question, if the pain is so great and the only way you can end the pain is to rape yourself. Yeah, I took the decision and I stuck it up there and then they said, okay, now I feel this boil up, I was pissing complete blood, so they ran me off to have a fancy scale. Why would they shove it up your ass?

To weed you out. To see if you're serious. Yeah, most of this mugger is really in pain. Did you ask them if you could just swallow the pill? I did ask you if I could swallow it and I said, I did ask you to swallow it. And I was like, no, you can't swallow this. You've got to stick it up there. And you've got to give us a peace sample what you do.

And the peace sample is full of blood. So they've rushing me into hospital. I had no idea what was going on at this time. They were just rushing me through. This portal was running me through like it was ER. And they take me to the scanner, sitting a scanning line for an hour and a half, on a freaking, because the pancreas that kicked in and now is me to the sky, I'm sitting a scanning lounge for an hour and a half on a freaking, because the Panke is a kick didn't and I was reduced to a wheelchair. So I'm sitting

in a wheelchair like kicking, the wheelchair have like a big dildo on it, they had to sit up. They didn't even have a big dildo, it just, it's just the Panke is basically just starting to be like, you're all bet this fucker can walk. Let's see. We're gonna put that in your eyes. On the chair. Everything is just, I need a shot. I'm about to put out LeBron James and I was trying to destroy my career but put me in hospital

or something like that. He was horrible. Could you imagine how pissed off you would be if you go into the hospital with a pain in your back and they're like, here's to stick this up your ass? Yeah. Yeah.

Well, I'm gonna stick you up my ass next. Wow. So basically I sit down and go into the lounge, the CT scan. So I'll get my scans and after I get my scans very soon afterwards, I'm still sitting in the lounge. I'm on my own in the lounge and then I see these doctors running around like all crazy like headless chickens, but trying to get stuff sorted and get him to a ward and everything and if other people were there I'd understand it could be for someone else but I knew that we're talking about me. So now I'm shitting

myself and they rush me off to a ward or in a big haste. They take all my blood, sit me down to say you might have to stay here for a week and I'm like what's wrong with me? And I says well you haven't got pancreatic cancer which we were worried about. I'm like, what's wrong with me? And I says, well, you haven't got pancreatic cancer, which we were worried about. I was like, okay, but you have quite a few kidney stones that you're very worried about. And I was like, what does that mean? And she goes, well, first of all, we're very short on beds.

So we're gonna send you home. Okay, we ran out of dildos to weed off those people who want to be laid down. So now we don't know who's telling the truth. It's in, and they just... I don't know. It's so, they sent me home. We've like, ridiculous pain killers. Yeah.

They keep phoning me to say, like, have their pasture, have their pasture. If the pain increases, it's constrained to be you. And I said, what, so you can put me to say, like, have to pass shit, have to pass shit. If the pain increases, come straight to VR. And I said, what, so you can put me through the horrible process again. So you can shove my shit up my ass. You know, as your dick split into yet, just say, pissing out a throwing star. I've been,

blood diamond is the name of my, is the name of my life now. It's blood diamond, I've had to diamond I've had to I'm going to take the time I should post in jute is for pissing these rocks it's it's sometimes the small sometimes the ground up for example every now and then you just get a fucking big one to get trapped halfway down the tube and when it gets trapped down the tube what does your body do when it senses pain it and it's up and it's up and it's up and I remember the really walker remember that I told you that I ride four works with Augustus

gloop yeah that's that's your you got to picture Augustus gloop going down the hole of your dick oh yeah and then it just punches out and it just cuts all the way through it's it's horrible when you get a big one but it's clear for that now

have you been to have you wave them Have you been to any way of them? Have you been away? So have a way of them. Every time they've come out, it's it's essentially like pitting sand into the toad, and I don't want to reach around in piss. Like if it was in a year or an hour, I could get some toilet paper and pick it out. I see. Okay. I've had to I've had to I've even dropped stones at work as well. it's I I scared everybody In the staff rooms sitting there like my eating their sandwiches and eating their lunch asking about who's got better lunch

All they hear is just screaming from the Can't they aren't when they're that severe can't they don't they go in and like break them up or take them I mean sometimes they like they they can do like a they can do an ultrasound Oh, I'm too sometimes they, they, they, they can do like, they can do an ultrasound. Oh, that's it too. Unless they're doing this. Yeah. I mean, probably not at the end of the day. What? What did you say? They didn't want me having that. They didn't want me having that. I don't think they want you to be having that. They're just like, well, we could operate.

We're gonna send you home. It's like what? You know, the worst part about it is, is that doctors and nurses and the whole, it's like the entire health professional system doesn't understand that illegal drugs exist. Like if you are in pain and you walk in there, they're like, oh well, you know, we're very, our drugs are very powerful.

We can't just give them out to whoever. And I'm like, bitch, I can text, I can text someone, and I can text someone and get drugs that you don't even have. Fucking give me what, give me what you fucking have. Give it to me, right the fuck, no. Every doctor and nurse that throws any kind of objection. Like when you go to the hospital, if you ended up in the hospital,

that should be drug-disney land, man. It should be like, it should be like, willy-wonk as fucking chocolate factory. Welcome to the hospital. Here's some oxies, here's some vikinins, here's several different sizes of vikinins, because how often do you go to the fucking hospital? And if you have, and if you have like a drug seeking addiction

Fuck it who cares? Load them up and send them on their way because every fucking day these guys are on the street clock drinking down Gallons of pain killer and you guys have the safer one and you're gonna fuck me over it over what? You guys have the safer one and you're gonna fuck me over it, over what? Charge it to the much, put it on my fucking tab! All these vikinins, give me a bottle of them! Give me a fucking bottle! Vikinins have a built-in mechanism to control their consumption, called massive, massive constipation!

I will shit a football if I eat too many vikinins. Give them to me, leave the bottle and fuck off like the bartender of drugs that you are. Don't come in here every 10, don't come in here every 30 minutes all night pretending like you're looking after me because you motherfuckers invented pain-caring bells. Fucking give them to me. Give them to me. Access to drugs is not gonna make people a drug addict. Fucked up childhoods do. Well, it brings me the goddamn drugs.

Hold on. We'll give them to you, but first shove this thing up your ass. It's a bit like a Hollywood career. It all starts with rape. Then things got even worse. Then I got Sherman Clump, Syndrome, three days later. What's that? Like the Nadi Professor? That's when your face randomly just, the look, the prophecy, no, in the car, when it turns around, it's lips are massive. Yeah.

Yeah, I have the magical ability to turn into a 19th, 1930s cartoon caricature of Black Peaces. I turn into Tom's mind. Tom's mom, they're lady, he just happens overnight. I just wake up. Oh, no. Tom's. Yes.

I run around the rolling pin and the freaking do right around my head. My god, like the old woman and the Tom and Jerry cartoon. That's his old one. That's his old one. Yeah, yeah. All right. All right. Tom is the other time.

Yeah, so it's horrible. It's really horrible. I got that from my dad. So I can't even have any like emergency meds or anything. If I get it, I get it. And if I die, I die, they literally told me that the hospital. Jesus. Now there's no cure for that.

They put it in different. They put it in different. Mom. They put it in different. They put it in different. All right, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah Can you like can you shoot him at like 10 cans and make like a little symphony like I'm gonna like those people that play glasses on the rims of glasses You know like hey everybody out. Oh, which I think bad digger Lincoln. I'm gonna play you. Oh, the joy All right, I'm gonna I'm gonna if I'm not a big enough one out I'll get a stereo to be to He's got a pink and nugget. Oh Look at it is lawyer bills. I think get a stereo. He's got a thing for nuggets. Oh, look at all these lower bills.

I bet you could get him to do it. All right, buddy. Have a good one. Thanks for doing the meetups. Thank you very much. Oh, there you go. There you go. I see. I got some cool presence I'd like to share with you

before we wrap this up. Hey, Dick, in episode 90 you mentioned the get a passing interest in picking up magic to gathering again. Well, guess what? You're about to, the company that created the game makes starter decks for new players. They're pretty crappy. Instead, try out this dual deck. It's two different decks that were designed to play against each other. With other cards from a bunch of different sets, they're simple enough that you shouldn't have too much trouble learning the game again

or teaching someone else, Sean. Do you have any interest in magic, the gathering? You want to play magic, the gathering? I mean, yeah, fuck, I play. Yeah, but Sean, why not? Careful. I've never done it. Yeah, it'll get you.

It'll hook everyone. I've never done it. Yeah. It'll get you. It'll hook everyone. That's what I hear. Because it's a game of about strategy and fantasy and your imagination and fantasy. Did I already say that? You did. That's what it's about. Let's see.

Also, because I brought it up in the past, I included a foil printing of Lord of the Pit. Oh, I loved it by the way, the fucking cool painting of Lord of the Pit. Lastly, I included a playmat that gives you a space to play. So he included a playmat to play magic on. This guy, Eric, the red. Here it is.

This is the playmat he included. It is, ohmat he included. It is, oh my fucking god. It is he himself lying naked in a kitty pool full of magic cards where the magic cards are collected around his groin area and covering it all. I have it upside down. And the worst part is that it's very useful. Played. This is what we've been we've been playing magic

to gathering on in this house since he sent it. I don't want to play anymore. X Eric. Let's see here. Hey, Dick, thanks for the great show. Here are some spoons from Colorado and Texas. Also, I saw that you're playing some card game now, so I sent you a highly collectible trucker card game pack. Oh, cool.

I don't think you can play any games with it, but fuck it, I'm drunk. Since 80s girl has had to deal with so much bullshit. From the Cuck-Known Asmatics, I also sent her a $20 gift card for Starbucks. Never mind that, never mind that. So she can have a few drinks on me. You're not buying my girl drinks here, buddy. Whoever you're from, I'll fly there. Rub nipples with you.

I love the show. Keeps me going all out on the road. Thank you so much for making great content. Don't ever quit unless you have to. Tell Sean, hi for me, and next time I'll send him something. Sorry about the handwriting, I'm ashamed. I don't think you handwriting is that bad. A very considerate person.

You know, a man should have a five year old handwriting. Yeah. It should never get any better than that. There's a period when you write a lot, where in school, you'll never probably high school or not nowadays because everything's on everything's typed. But like when we were in high school, like that's probably as good as our writing ever got, right?

And then as soon as you get out, you start writing like a five-year-old doctor. Yeah, I don't even know how to hold a pen anymore. I just hold it with my whole face. Just grab a scroll. Yeah, yeah. As I said, well, who told me to hold it like a dainty lady with my fingers? Yeah, I'm not I'm not a cuck. I'm not right now. Right.

Wow, here it is. I see you holding your hand out. Yeah. Yeah, she wants it right now. She's afraid of getting lost in here in this black hole that is the studio super trucks limited edition. Maybe I can combine a trucker. Maybe there could be a trucker version of magic to gathering. Yeah. The demons ride on trucks and it's about Holland freight. Okay. Yeah. Just an idea. I don't know. See, I don't know the game. So I can't add to this. All right, everybody. This is in the Dix show. The Dix show Dix, Dictat show. I said something was in the store. Portland shirts are in the store. Shopped that all happened.

Okay. Yeah. And so are those sign books. Thanks everybody who got them. Thanks a harmful opinions for calling in and FIGBAT. Oh, I almost said it wrong. FIGBAT. Now I don't know which is the bad word. FIGBAT digger, Nick.

Yeah. For calling in. Larry. That is digger, Nick. For calling in Larry. That is quite a... What do you call that when you chop up the... It's not an anagram, right? No, that's another word. Yeah, anagrams are another word made up of letters from another word, right? Yeah, or phrase.

I don't know what you call it. It's just being dangerous. All right, everybody. This is the Dix show Horror Remix by Vague. See you next Tuesday. DHS horror remakes. God, I forgot how much I hate doctors and nurses, hospitals who don't give you the drugs. Because you can't explode at them, they'll just fuck with you, they'll just shut more shit up your ass.

I've got all the power. In America, you get the drugs, then you get the power. It's cool. You gotta come do a stream with me. Yeah, I know. I mean, I'm almost unlistenable. I'm singing and playing piano. Never.

Did one last night. I do one yesterday. Some of it's good. Facebook news, Captain Jackass. Hello dick and hello dickheads. This is the Facebook group news for the last couple days. There are 4,360 members of the Dixiel Facebook group. And every now and then, out of those thousands of applicants, come your Indian men

who severely misunderstand what the Dict show is really all about. In comes Adnan Poirouslar from India. Within minutes of being accepted into the Dict show group, he proclaims, and single man, my Dict always hard. I made Mr. Bion, I want to show girl masturbation. Dickheads tried to help out Anon by referring him to Chelsea the trap.

Edmund Stephen Bailey normally asks the dickheads if we should let these guys in and shows us their applications. More often than not, the overwhelming majority vote yes. Yeah. Next up is William McCormack, who is the victim of a job lynch mob for expressing his opinions about David hog in Larry's that Larry show Facebook group oh McCormack wrote that hog is an opportunist so the spine was douche centelleted of McCormack's employers saying how they were disgusted and

his comments toward a shooting survivor the threat continued on with thick head debating the high for the survivor because he was never shot yeah fast forward 30 minutes was in the holocaust being accused of trying to spread his European cocked communist ideas our last story is an addendum to last week story about Tom Hennan and his road soda this week carry grove attempts to one up Tom by posting a picture of a half smoked bull while also driving 76 miles an hour on a highway.

When makes this especially remarkable is that the hand holding the bull is also steering. For some reason this image upsets nobody, but Tom's stationary Sam Adams does. This has been a big deal. Yeah, because you've been behind the last couple of days. I saw news, it was like the only actual piece of news that I've ever seen. They took, they took high people, they rated how much pot that they usually smoke and then they kept feeding them pot until they're driving suffered. And with the two, like with the two non-habitual smokers, it was an ungodly amount of pot.

And then they just stopped driving. Like they tried to drive and then pulled over and stopped. Right, the responsible thing. Well, because they like, they couldn't, like they just went, and then stopped. And the habitual pot user drove better. Every time she was given more pot until they said we're out of pot bitch go like because it The only piece of news I ever remembered was that one that one when they fry eggs on the sidewalk

Do you know that David hog guy he's talking about? Uh, is he the British guy? No, you're thinking of warning hog the off the paper factory In the office the David Brent works for. Wait a minute, David Hawke. Refresh my memory. He's that kid. So the kids at the last school shooting are the second or last one. I don't know which one it is. Well, he's become the first outrage porn star.

Outrage, like as much as I say, school shooting is not news in that it is covered in a sensationalistic way that is disproportionate to its impact on people. Which is large. Yeah, which is true. It's a money maker. Yeah, I'll give you that. Nothing drives clicks like, like school shootings and mug shots. Well, I'll just explain what's if it bleeds at leads.

Yeah. It was always the, because so that's, it's, it leads. Yeah. It was always the, cause. So that's, it's, it's outrage porn, right? For people to get outraged. He's the first outrage porn star. He's on Twitter as like a blue check mark. He's every single tweet is in some way trying to capitalize on the issue.

Like he's, and he's doing it to raise awareness. He never says, like it is, it's not exact. It's like, yeah, keeping's like keeping the outrage alive. Like he was, he's telling everybody in New York to put post-its, like stupid shit for stupid idiots who want to just do, who are bored at work and want to do something to feel that they're contributing to start being a part of something.

That they're a part of the victimization. Like, you know know you let everybody This is a way that everybody can buy their way into the the victimization that these people actually feel This is it's victim fantasy camp for the whole world join in and this fucking prick is out that like He's like trying to stump Marco Rubio Like he's the one on TV like he's just tweeting spicy tweets at Marco Rubio. Like he's the one on TV, like he's just tweeting spicy tweets at Marco Rubio. Like as though,

this is a whole other episode. It's a whole other episode because it's sick, it's sick. Right, like the number of rifle homicides every year, it's like 350, that includes assault rifles. Like dude, first of all, it's not, they're not dangerous. There are more people drowning in a fucking pool. More people died texting and driving. Dick sporting goods stopped selling assault rifles.

Fucking how many kids go to the hospital for a concussion every year because of your fucking sporting equipment. But just like, what are you talking about protecting people? Correct me if I'm wrong, but like that, and some news outlets have been better about this than others, but they're assault style rifles. Oh yeah. They're essentially hunting rifles with a different stock, with macho packaging, to look

like military weapons. Yeah. show packaging to look like military weapons. Yeah, it's uh, it's this, that fucking kid drives me insane. He's getting away with it. I'll reach porn star. It's all the new, it's the new, new hotness. Yeah. These kids make a name for themselves as the tragedy. Hey, dick. Uh, this is Tom Petty. Yo, fuck that guy who says my music is about to happen. How many number one songs do you have, motherfucker? All right. Love the show later.

That's funny. That's a good, yo, fuck that guy. I don't know. I didn't know Tom Petty was so urban. Well, you know, he, you don't fuck with him. No, he'll throw down. No doubt. He can, he can schmooze in the ghetto

with the rest of, you know, who's in the music industry, right? I'm sure. You know what I'm talking about. Sure. Sure. But if you fuck with Tom Petty, he's in from the street, man. Yeah.

He could trash talk like the best of them. The little Irishman has his own version of fuck you. Oh boy. What is it? I was, he had a, he had Mario pajamas on, it had a hat. And of course he comes out with a hat and now everyone's battling over this fucking hat that he's got. Anyway, he finally gets it stripped away and he blames me for his little brother stealing his hat and he just turned on me and goes, bad uncle.

Oh, I know. I know. the fuck you and I see it. All right, so I don't know where you got that, but, gotcha. Well, I hear you loud and clear, buddy. Mm-hmm. Hey, Dick. It's first in, first out, not first in, last out. That doesn't make any sense.

What does? At all. What's it talking about? If you're rotating stock at a store or restaurant or or anything perishable, putting the thing that came in first and then using it last. Yeah. That's your talking about the release. And you start to rotate the old to the front and put the new in the back so that you're not wasting the stuff that they're a couple of weeks. I mean, it's not that hard. There is a, I mean, people call it play-foat. First and first out. Play-foat. It's telling me I'm wrong.

What were you talking about? I was talking about, remember the pile, the pile that men have. Oh, oh, got you. I'm sure. I'm sure the pile is the last one. First of all, buddy, my friend, don't ever tell an engineer how to procrastinate.

Huh. All right, we do this. It's in our DNA. We know how to, I know what a pile is. Yeah. I know how to put things off. I know things that I'm not going to get done. The first thing is the last thing I'm going to get to,

keep piling things on top of it. I don't know how it works in the stock room. Yeah. Things expire, but in the world, and it's at the bottom of the pile. It's at the bottom of the stock room. Yeah, things expire, but in the world, and it's at the bottom of the pile. It's at the bottom of the fucking pile. First in, last out, first into the pile. So last one out, it's like trauma.

It's the first trauma that you get, that's the last one that you got on pack. Yeah, very simple. Don't fuck, don't tell me how to, don't tell me how to procrastinate my friend. Hey, back, we're down with we dominate what you talk about man when we're talking about this girl all right so I plowed her out those super hot man let me tell you about it so we got all we got all drunk shit we have a little drunk drunk. You know what I'm talking about? You go all drunk from time? That's fine. But yeah. Well, that's a good thing. Super hot. So what you're talking about,

man? Like all these dick show fucking bullshit about these sexy 20-month time and V-Barberino Now you talking to me and you're just like no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no The point is that we're having so sexy times Tonight, all right, yeah, we're fucking we're having a good time Shut up All right, just shut up. No, I'm talking to dick There you go. It's never gonna be a better voice male than that. He called back. Oh, good. Shut up.

Just shut up. Stop. Right. Oh, so, no. What we're done. All right. So I thought this was a hot. All right.

So she got huge kids. You know, that sounds so huge kids got enormous alright they're sick as fuck you know the area over the fuck you no fuck you alright what if he's just stumbled into a farm and he's talking to like a fucking cow no fuck you too alright no fuck you it sounds like right. No fuck you. It sounds like he's in traffic, but there's no other sound. There's nobody there. The clear is called the fuck you man. Just fuck you.

Me. All right dude. Good night. You're like what? There. There are fucks going there. That's all. You're going to go there. All right man.

All right. Fuck you. Okay. Dominique. That's all. You're gonna go to the hotel? All right, man. Poor you. Fuck you. OK. Dominique, there you go. There he goes. There he goes. Hey, Dick, I got a rage for you. Ascle hairs.

What are you supposed to do with them? Shave them? Look, I don't even know where my own asshole is. Look, he has a good old battleship for me. Guys, literally can't find his asses. I hope you get a hit. I guess I could use a mirror. But then I got to look into my own asshole. And I'm pretty sure it looks like the underside of a Metroid. Between the

beer shits, dip, protein powder, my brows naturally look like the predator's mouth. I'm doing things in a flipped image is difficult. Plus what am I going to do with my razor afterwards? The downside to having a Yeti's assholes that you get dingo berries clinging, like your assholes Rapunzel letting down her hair for TP to climb up. It's the worst voicemail ever. You're just nearing out on your finger.

That shit removes your fingerprints permanently. What? You can't get that waxed because they put you in the most emasculating position lying on your back like a flip turtle while some illegal waxes your catholic hole. You're just fucked permanently. Asshole here. Just go. Check your asshole privilege that you don't have to deal with that. Oh God. Let's see here.

It's our full moon. What was going on with these voicemails? Dick, what makes me a rage? Very recently, my wife told me, remember when you used to be sweet and you loved your family and you made us breakfast, how can you never do that? You know, I fell in love with you because of your pancakes. So this morning, but you know what? Not sure if that's an insult or a compliment. I'm pretty nice.

Great fucking husband, amazing fucking father. I get up at the ass crack of dawn. I'm cooking in the dark just so everybody else can sleep in. I make everything through scratch. Some really great blueberry pancakes, some awesome, like the perfect cup of coffee, everything. And I wake everybody up and say, hey, it's breakfast time. And they all look at me like, Dad, fuck off!

I enough want your city breakfast. Did you wake up going, come on, I say, hey, they've not made everything so fast. Well, I can eat now. I'm gonna get up and go to the gym. So next time she says, how come you never make breakfast? I'm going to play this voice now for her. So she can know this is exactly why I don't make breakfast.

Because last point, if you don't fucking eat it. See you next Tuesday. See you next Tuesday. D-P, our old pal D-P. Yeah. That was him yelling at his kids right there at the end. Yeah, one more. Yeah, see you next season. D-Pay, our old pal D-Pay. Yeah. That was him yelling at his kids right there at the end. Yeah, yeah.

One more. Yeah, one more. Hey, hey, what's up, buddy? I got a waitress here. What makes me waitress today? James. It's Hans. I'm a girl trying to finish a dip through your jeans.

Sometimes I'm a little weird. Jamesans are a weird way of visiting themselves, so that they can't feel your fucking cough. I mean, you're at least like, oh, fuck, you think I'm a small cough? But if you jeans are fucked out, I can't have my girlfriend have a small cough. That's the way it's beating off right now. You wanna stay?

Yeah, jeans have a weird, jeans are really a fair weather friend of the penis. Yeah. Sometimes jeans will bunch up when you're sitting down and people think you have an erection because they're ignorant. Yeah. Don't understand the jeans.

Sometimes your jeans will jam your dick up and keep it from getting to its full length. Even though it will be hard to messin' it, excuse me. Even though it will, something will be going on. They'll fuck you. The jeans will fuck you and your penis will go, whoa, I can't do my thing here. I'm gonna give you a half, half-chub. And then you're stuck with that. Unless you like, sometimes it's like getting your dick in the right position in jeans

to show off is like threading a cable through the wall. You've got to send in the fishing wire first, wrap it around the tip and then you're feeding it through the leg of your pants, you know? To give it room to really get some action going. And you're doing all this while you're trying to keep her interested, right? Like a peacock, except your feathers are your penis

and your pants. Like guys write, jeans will, they need to have, they need to have like penis-friendly jeans because we all have those jeans, that's all the jeans are always working and think, bam, the second I'm interested in all, boom, straight down the side, extra give, and then some, it's like, they've got, the flap is over way too far.

Some jeans are too thick, too thick. I can't feel anything. You know after that dickhead strip club meetup, I wanted to make a brand of sweatpants, specifically designed for strip clubs. I told you about that. Pretty brilliant. I think I'll do it on day of this week. I tried to get a quote for them, but they couldn't print all the way down the side of the leg.

I wanted to be strip club sweatpants all the way down. Nice. So there's no questioning what they're for. Yeah. Should be proud of that. Yeah. but you're in it for you. That's what they say. All right, everybody. See you next Tuesday.