The Dick Show - Episode 93 - Dick on Heather S

Episode Date: March 12, 2018

An altercation with a cliche on International Women's Day, why no one goes to sporting events, The Dodgers commit Opening Day ticket extortion, Peach sends in her greatest Jass number yet, the effect of weed on the police, Grant Mooney has a new podcast, Nick Rekieta Bible-splains to me, why Rucka will never be on this show, Martin Shkreli makes people happy, more sure-fire pickup lines from America's Wingman, and Maddox admits to impersonating "Heather S" [in an attempt to destroy Asterios' career]; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!

Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH The $20 million man with me is always a Sean the audio engineer. Hello, Dick. Hey, what's up, buddy? The 20 Centro. Thank you. They're gonna call me, I'm gonna develop a legend like Jack and the, what was the Mickey Mouse cartoon where the guy kills seven in one stroke where Mickey kills seven flies in one stroke and then it turns everybody starts thinking that he killed a bunch of giants. It's this town. I remember that one.

Yeah. That's an old one I remember that one. Yeah. Yeah, that's a town where, yeah, I don't know why I've always, like for some, you know, kids cartoons, I forgot about that. You remember them because of the pure terror that you feel on behalf of these dumb animated, like mice and shit, like Mickey killed seven flies and his legend starts being exaggerated

that he killed seven giants in one and this giant is fucking with the town. This giant that is a allegory for the federal government is fucking with this little, this little libertarian hamlet and Mickey Mouse land is ours. We all understood it as children. Yes. Uh, and it gets, his legend gets blown out of control. And he's like, I can't fuck.

He's just a tailor and he's, he knocked out, he gets even flies in one slot. But he gets the giant to like shove his arm up his other sleeve and then he soars at shut. I don't remember him. Yeah, and then I think he goes through his brain and like so, like he really fucks this giant up. Do you know how that, you know how that ends? The giant is the giant goes to prison and is raped.

And the whole town tweets sarcastic comments about it, about how much they're glad he's being raped in prison. And his name was Martin Screly. It turns out at the end. They did a remaster where Mickey sends the giant to jail and they say, and in jail, the giant quotes Martin Screly. And they put three parentheses around it for some reason. They're holding no punches in the re-release of the Mickey cartoons. I had no idea those parentheses meant anything. Yeah. And then it says,

Martin Screly, the giant, Martin, the giant Martin Screly loved fucking people up the ass in pharmaceuticals. Now who's getting fucked up the ass? He, he, and it's like, yeah, you're fucking joking about rape, dude. Like, is that, so it's funny now? It's funny now? To joke about it, use pieces of shit, like that's funny then. It's always, I want a guy's getting raped. It always depends who it is.

In prison, in our institution for correction. Oh, it's hilarious that our entire, that our entire, well, you can joke about man getting raped. We know that. I mean, yeah, yeah. That's hilarious that our entire deterrent to crime, which a lot of times is driven by like

our other shitty education system and our other shitty job systems that get that send all of our middle class poor jobs overseas and then we cram children through a fucking meat grinder that prepares them to do nothing but listen to instructions because it's based on a Prussian military academy system and then they come out with no one to obey. Yeah. Because we've shipped all the jobs overseas so they commit crimes hilarious. They're getting raped because of it. It's fucking hysterical.

Yeah. It's so fucking funny. You pompous pieces of shit on Twitter. It's so fucking funny. Can you turn me up a little bit? Sure. I'm shouting as I can here myself. Oh, it's so fucking funny. Can you turn me up a little bit? I'm shouting as I can here myself. Oh, it's so fucking funny.

Every time somebody makes a joke about prison rape, my butt, are you fucking serious? That's funny to you. It's terrifying to me. It's fucking terrifying. It's the only thing. The only reason I don't do bad shit all of the time is because of the rape in prison.

Yeah. What the hell of a deterrent? Yeah, otherwise otherwise prison would be a fucking dream. Just read books watching cable You don't you don't working out all talking to other men You know there's in prison. There's no chance a guy's gonna bring his girlfriend to dinner Yeah, right? That's true. That's in real life. Well, I guess it depends. I mean, a girlfriend in parentheses.

That's all. That is my Miller celebrating. Let's celebrate. Let's take, let's make prison great again. That's the liquor party motto. Everybody's drinking all the time and we're making prison better. We're making it better. We're making it a place where you could go

and hang out with your pals and make some pruno and drink some craft, toilet wine, you hipster idiots. We gotta make prison somewhere that these people want to go to. Right. That's how we get rid of them. Right, right, right.

That's how we unload them. them. Right, right, right. That's how we unload them. Oh God, let me see. I have, you know, this shows, funny, I send these emails to myself all week about things that piss me off. Oh, do you have to say you remember? Yeah, I wake up Sunday morning,

especially mornings like this when we lose an hour and I have a four, which I need to see somebody hanged for every year. I know. I know. It only gets more painful every year and we let it happen for no reason. The health effects are well documented. Many heart attacks today. The most heart attack, ridden day of the most fuck ups and air traffic control and any

sort of job. Monday of a bunch of road accidents. Yeah, it's a catastrophe that we do to ourselves because we're sick, because we're a sick people and I need someone needs to be fucking hanged for it every year. I'm dead serious until the problem is solved. That's what Fight Club should have been about. So Arizona only observes one time, right? Because I know sometimes they're one hour ahead of us.

Arizona, I think, aren't they always on the ahead? Arizona gains an hour every year. What do you mean they gain an hour every year? They do the fall back every year, and they all get an extra hour once a year on Sunday, and they never go back the other way. So if you go to, they have a whole different, if you go there, sometimes like two 30 in the afternoon is midnight.

Oh God, they don't change time. Yeah, I know. And Hawaii doesn't either. Hawaii doesn't either. That's why it's especially hard for me because I grew up in Arizona. Yeah. So, this time, this time shit has never, my brain was already set. Yeah, it's stupid.

It's very stupid and I hate it. So I wake up on the Sunday mornings where I've already lost an hour. So I'm fucked and I think, oh God, what am I? What's the show gonna be about this week? I really hope, I really hope I didn't fuck future me like usual, but I always send myself these emails throughout the week of things that have pissed me off and I never never have gotten through the entire list of things that make me rage throughout the week. I don't know why I started talking about that but uh oh oh we're on the billboard comedy charts again two weeks two weeks in a row man phenomenal two weeks and a no. Two weeks in a, we've spent, how many weeks have we spent on billboard charts on this show?

This, this year. First of all, we have a hat trick because we've been on there three times. Yeah. On billboard comedy. I think we've spent a month or two. I think we've spent maybe two months. That's work coming up on dark side of the moon territory.

Yeah, we're basically, basically basically calling Plink Floyd out. Yeah. If you've got on Billboard longer. You got enough Dunning Krueger effect in, yeah? You can say, we're basically Pink Floyd. We're, yeah. No, no, the guys, the guys who are doing it are not me. So they are not riddled with the Dunning Krueger effect.

They're actually very talented. That's true. Um, the Dodgers have made me range this week. Fucking credit cards. I got a ton of good songs. Yeah. Maddox has admitted perjury saw the affidavit. I'm gonna talk about that. Nikki Rackets is calling in. Bearing was supposed to call in.

I don't know if he's gonna make it though. He ghosted me. That motherfucker ghosted me. He probably researched you. Grant Mooney's calling in a little bit later. Do you know him? Baring? Yeah.

No. I don't know. He's funny though. Seeing some of his videos, he's got like the adventures of Super Trump where he's like an Australian version of Trump talking to. Oh boy. It's like, it's like frozen.

If a stereo has any money left, he's gonna file a lawsuit. You know what? I wonder, I wish we could have tested a stereo before this entire debacle. And then after, like, I wish there was some kind of, for what? Liberalism, the disease of liberalism. Like if we could have swobbed his cheek, I'm joking liberals, if we could have swobbed his cheek or something and tested his like amount of cuckooery in his blood, in his blood, and then afterwards, after this lawsuit, tested him afterwards

because there is no fucking way. Like I would bet that he is more conservative now. You could probably, if you phrased it right or broached the subject right, get him to have an honest, serious conversation about it. I'm not being funny. I'm not being funny either. I would, he, I think he would be a guy who would admit

if he had types, you know, feelings of change in some aspect of, because I, yes. I don't think he's a guy who's completely closed off to another point. No, absolutely. You think sometimes you just say things because you're in an atmosphere where everybody's saying things. They just come out of your mouth. Not speaking specifically about his theory of, but we're all guilty of it.

Absolutely. Because I think that the nature of being attacked by the system and being drained, like being sucked for cash by the system. And that is your only defense, like a fucking octopus, shooting money, right? Yeah. Shooting money at the people attacking you, I think would make you more conservative when you, because you have to say, look, there's no, there's no system that exists that is fair. This is like what I'm experiencing in this system is probably indicative of the other

government systems that are not made to help, that are only made to mitigate the hemorrhaging of, to mitigate pain, right? That they're, that you can't build a system like this that helps people. It's only to stop from hurt, it's only to redistribute, redistribute the harm and the pain that is caused by a singular person into many people. I wonder if we can test for that.

We gotta talk to them afterwards. Sure, let's see, after this is all done. Gotta find out what admitting to perjury and impersonation that Maddox has done and admitted, which is fucking shocking to me. I've got to tell the story of another time Maddox posed as a reporter. Remind me to do that. I promise people I would tell the story. What's interesting is just as a kind of an overview

of this whole thing, everything that he's accused everyone else of doing, he himself has done, and it's been documented, such as doxing people, getting people fired, that kind of stuff. It's like harassment campaign. Incredible projection that is beyond any rational analysis. Yeah. There's a, have you ever heard of the book? I don't know, it's called the rules for radicals by Saul

Alinsky. Yes, it's a, what his last name is pronounced. I'm sorry, it was Saul Aleinsky. I'm doing the brackets. Is that what you mean? That's how you should pronounce it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, the parentheses. Yeah, I have heard of it. Is that not how it's pronounced?

I don't know. I've never said it out loud. Saul Aleinsky. Anyway, rules for radicals, it's an older book. It's like, I think it came out around in the 60s. Yeah, yeah. And it was rules for Yeah, exactly what it says rules for radicals people who wanted to

instigate change in the system through any means necessary right and that means necessary like where you're You're accepting the you're accepting the moniker of scumbag or or a radical as you start in the truest sense that you are going completely or a radical, as you start, in the truest sense that you are going completely outside the law and outside like, conceptions of morality and decency. Like you're leaving all that at the door because it's worth whatever you're becoming the weapon that you're becoming the hammer that you're going to use to reshape society in your image. No, it's coming from like the, it's the John Brown, you know, by any means necessary type thing. What's that? What's John Brown? What do you mean? John, without getting into it, you know, like a, around the time of slavery and stuff like

that, he was a, he was a white guy. He was a radical and I think he was, shit, I think he was put to death. Harpers fairy. Oh, I know that name. Yeah. Harpers fairy. Am I completely off my guard here? No, you're probably fine.

Don't look at him. I'm sure some people will correct you either way. No, I know. Is that what he did? He was a, yeah, what did he, did he bomb? Harper's Ferry? Well, there's the guy Fox guy who did try to blow up, I don't know, the best deal. Is that what the fuck?

Look, I know what the A team did. I know what the A team did for 60 episodes. I know every single thing that Dr. Samuel Beckett did. I know every single wrong that he ride it and every single moral conundrum that he floundered over. Real people, I don't know. You mean real people like Sherlock Holmes? I know what he did.

Oh no, Dick, he's fake. Ah, ah, ah, ah, who cares? I know everything that Captain Picard did. Yeah. I know how Dave was proven that data was a sentient computer to whatever science officer Maddox when he came aboard the USS Enterprise and wanted to dissect his neural network to make to clone more data. I know that.

I know what that happened. I know how many fucking lights there were because my brain is just saturated with shit with made up stories and bullshit that are gonna mean nothing in a hundred years. They're gonna look back at history and say, well, so who are the important people of their time? Oh, you know, Captain Picard, Indiana Jones, and Cormut, that's the guys,

that's the guys who they worship. Those are the most important historical figures this time I know every single fucking thing they did yeah John Brown and it's late radical that tried to end slavery never heard of them who Who Anyway Yeah, what you find I'm pretty yeah Harper's fairy. Yeah, Harper's fairy where he staged a mutant here What I'm getting off often track in rules rules for radical, radicals, it says accused people of what you're doing. And that is a, and that it, because it does two things,

right out of like a narcissist handbook. Yeah. That's exactly what's happening. It's like making narcissism, like weaponizing narcissism for political ends. Yeah. And it's really, it's really a... That's a sinister. And it is really sinister and it is very bizarre to see. Show explicitly. It makes me want to go through the rules for radicals and see how many things that Maddox has done, like according to the Safa David, this is now committed perjury, at least one count of perjury.

Yeah. Perjury's bad as it turns out. I can't believe his lawyer would let him do it either. Well, sign this document. Like that's, like, I mean, can you imagine, you're paying this guy to protect, to keep your interests in mind, to let this massive. Yeah, it doesn't,

it's mission of perjury and signing it forever. Look, I mean, all joking aside, I think his lawyer is probably concerned with not projectile vomiting first thing in the morning. I'm serious, I mean, he's probably got a, I'm guessing he's a little fast and loose with, with, you know, his medication.

Yeah, I don't know. I don't know, It was shocking to see. Yeah, I was at a, I was meeting with rocket man. Rocket man was in town. Oh, was he? Yeah, I was out with him at a bar. He was, was that how quickly did he get upside down in a chair?

No, he was on good behavior because his work people were there. You know, it's so funny. The, the, the school of like super science and protecting the earth from getting annihilated by an asteroid works and feels exactly like a work conference. Like it's all about the little clicks that develop. You're always trying to get, like you're always trying to get another department

to cooperate and you need money. Like there's no, there is no difference if you just blank out the goal of an organization. There's no fucking difference between this extreme, like a noble pursuit of the survival of man versus like selling boner medication. You're exactly the same. Makes perfect sense.

To such a degree that it's shocking, we don't teach these skills. To such a degree that it's shocking, we don't teach these skills. Yeah. And, like, you got to college and they steal your money with general ed requirements that you do not need that are not shown to help you in any way, taking like organic chemistry 101. Yeah. It should be all specialized stuff. It should just be like life 101. This. It should be all specialized stuff. It should be like life 101.

Yeah. This is how you navigate. Like, you know, like, okay, here's what it makes me think. I'm getting off and I'm just going all tangent today. This is going to be dick on tangents. It's like how the Japanese have this system. And I don't, I think that they really do have it. But at least it's on TV where they don't accept something

unless you've offered it three times, right? I've heard of that. they really do have it, but at least it's on TV where they don't accept something unless you've offered it three times, right? I've heard of that. Or like if you say like, Hey, Sean, take this, take this dildo. I want you to have it. And you say, no, I cannot. And Sean, please, I insist that you take this dildo. You're going a little Diego.

No. Oh, yeah. Oh, no. I cannot do this. No. Sean, take this, you do it. Sean, take this, still though. I do not want to do it. Sean, I really want you to have this, still though.

I wish to not accept the deal though. Sean, I'd like you to have the deal though. I accept the deal though. See, and it seems stupid, but it's so fucking important to have like, like just basic interactions with people that when it's, when you're not just getting shit faced at a bar, like at a business, at a company.

So you're not, so you don't have, you're just like, cause it's to protect against the huge amount of people who are completely and earth-alls, and who don't know how to behave at all. Hi, that's what we gotta be teaching, speaking of which, are completely and earth-alls. And who don't know how to behave at all? Hi. That's what we gotta be teaching speaking of which. My life, I'm convinced, has just become a never-ending episode of Mary with Children.

Is that right? Sean. Yeah, what are you trying to get out of fucking girlfriends or what? It's a never fucking ending series of me getting yelled at by fat women. That's what my life like I'm I was out with rocket man and I swear to God after his like symposium where he's talking all the the engineers who are saving the planet. Right.

These guys are these guys are tasked with spotting incoming asteroids, which I couldn't peg any of them down on what's the likelihood that there's gonna be one. They're like, well, if there is one, it's gonna be catastrophic. I said, don't fucking, what's the likelihood? Is it like zero and you guys just wanna blow $100 million in the industry?

No, but isn't the likelihood a hundred percent? Oh, but their technology is all built for like a hundred years out. Oh, yeah, sure. Yeah, so it's like, well, what are the odds? Probably zero. Can I spend this? Can I like feed a bunch of kids with this until we develop, like until we move from like oh, type, until we move to like a type two civilization?

Yeah. Maybe that would be a better spend, you fucking dick. Well, you know, anyway, whatever, but they're salesmen. They got a sell, you're right. You always have to sell it, right? It was shocking to see sales shit at that level where you don't think you think it's all academic, but like, no, the sellers, the sellers,

because you need money. This market too. You got to sell people on the concept. Yeah, you really do. So after that, we go to Lucky Baldwins. I like that place. I like that place. I love that place. That place has good memories for me.

That's the ball that I left. The wedding, that was where the wedding after party was at that I left with 80s girl that started this entire entire mess. That was the Captain Picard moment, I guess, of that episode when Q sends him back in time. If I had to relive that, not leave with her, and see what a shell of a, of a pussy I would be for the next three years, right?

Amazing. It would be so sad and different to just hump along and that fucking podcast is more and more people tuned out because it got increasingly the vitriol increased, the rancor, excuse me, increased. The topics became increasingly political and the love was sucked from it. Yeah. It's true. So we go to that bar and it's packed. It's a British pub in Pasadena. It's packed. It's packed, of course. I don't know why. It was nighttime. It's a British pub in Pasadena. It's packed, it's packed, of course, I don't know why. It was nighttime, it's packed.

I don't remember what day it was. And there's one little table, there's one little table off in the corner. It's a little tiny table, the kind of table you don't wanna sit at with a man, with another man. It's like a hot date table. You're like, oh yeah, There's not enough table between you.

Oh, there's not enough. You're gonna reach over and grab their hand or something. You know, like that. I have to hold my arms. I have to just set my hands on the table like a blackjack dealer. Like a, like a, like a midget blackjack dealer, right? I can't get into the full flex

that I want to get into or we both can't do it. And then you're having like a weird power struggle where you might as well be two dogs humping. Yeah. Like the male assertion of dominance for an armrest or for a table space. You're like, yeah, this is what dogs are doing when they're humping, dude. Just keep that in mind. Don't overdo it.

You still got a hump. I still want that table space. I want that armrest. I'll hump you for that armrest. But this is what they're doing. Little tiny table. So small, if both of us were to get erections, they would touch.

Our penises would touch. That's disturbing. Yeah. Little tiny table. It's like, all right, rock, man. I guess we're sitting here. And he's a small guy. He's a small guy. Luckily, a small guy. Luckily, or you

would have been really, if you were there with coach, now we would have just had to leave. Yeah. They probably have a special seat just for coach though. All the seats that are reserved I like to think of for coach. He spent his time there. He's paid his dues. And I'll pay his dues. But coach likes to run an even Stephen program at bars. Yeah. He likes to excessively patronize them and also take advantage of their hospitality. A hospitality. I, he's running that with all of life, I've noticed.

I've seen no evidence of this. Here's my voice. I once got, okay, I'll tell you, I once got in a fight with coach, because he wouldn't stop bouncing on my couch. Really? He was shit-faced. Yeah. I had this, when I lived in Hollywood, I spent way too much money on a really nice couch. Yeah, it's a really nice couch, because I wanted to bang the sales girl.

You told me that's right. And when it was delivered, she came over and sucked me off on the couch. It was awesome. That's amazing. And then I looked at, she came over and sucked me off in the couch. It was awesome. That's amazing. And then I looked at the bill and I said, wait a minute, what? I paid this much for it. That's outrageous. But it is a nice couch and that your Hollywood place had a great open, it was a gigantic living room.

So you needed a really big, bad-ass couch like that. Yeah. You know what? Did I have a blow job, I guess? Yeah, that was number number. I went out for a couch, I came home with a blow job. I don't know what to tell you. America's wingman.

People have paid more for less. Yeah, at least it wasn't a divorce. Yeah. Did I ever tell you that apartment that like an insane, my apartment in Hollywood was a one bedroom and it had no walls or closets. It was like a cell. It was like a cell. It was like a, yeah.

Like that's all it was. It was like a loft, but it was in a building from the thirties. This insane architect. And Johnny Depp and Nicholas Cage had lived in that same apartment I was told. Well, yeah, after I signed the lease too, so I know I was in a sales trick. Oh, you mean, oh, in your actual? Yes. Oh, no kidding.

Yeah. Probably when they came out or whatever and, and, uh, they're gay. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no for the female stars and every one of the closet. Yeah, well, I don't want to dox myself. You've my. Yeah, yeah, every every every. Well, you don't live there now. True. But you didn't live in that. Everybody. I'm so sloppy. Everybody knows where I live. Yeah, with the thanks to the fucking lawsuit, everybody knows everything. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Congratulations, Mike. This is, I live in a post privacy world. I'll tell you, it's not that bad. Yeah, yeah, I mean, yeah, and hopefully nothing,

hopefully nothing changes to make you think it's that bad. No one's tried to kill me yet. Good. I got two things. Things are looking up. I got two things behind me. If anybody's watching the stream at patreon.com, slash the Dix show, or just for a dollar,

you get the video, access the video, which is all upgraded. Thanks to you guys. Thanks so much for your support. And for the fucking supporting the lawsuit, which I could not afford period without Patreon ease. Yeah. No, it's just the fact of the matter. It's amazing.

I would not be able to afford jack shit. And I would probably be, they would probably just send a New York brute squad over to put me in a Hannibal Lecter style cart with a mask over my face. And wheel you off. And wheel me around. And wheel me to the, to the clockwork orange style reprogramming facility to erase the word manics from my brain because I would have immediately lost the lawsuit. I have protection now in the studio as you can

see. Two types of protection. You get to take which one you're getting up the ass. There is the shotgun made by Caleb Slotnik and there is the gigantic dildo both mounted on a gun rack, which I believe you promised to a Japanese gentleman. Yeah. So, oh yeah, to a Japanese gentleman. Yeah. So, oh yeah, yeah, it's yours now. I'll put a little name tag on it. Anyway, the guy who lived in that apartment before me,

tore it all out, tore all the walls out, and took them outside every night in his pants, like Shawshank Redemption. So I had the only, I had the only apartment that was like that in the whole building I found out much later. They knocked out, yeah, that's why that was like that in the whole building I found out much later. They knocked out, yeah, that's why that was such an open, cool place.

Yeah. The sum asshole every night would just, I don't know, do a bunch of infetomines and stay up all night tearing the walls out of his apartment. That's true. Yes. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.

That's true. That is a true story. I forget why I was talking about this. I was talking about my apartment, talking about the couch, the couch that coach would jump on. Yeah, I guess I got this with beautiful new couch, and he would get so shit faced.

He was bouncing on the couch. I had to say, hey, stop, stop what you're doing. Stop jumping on my fucking furniture, like a child. And he was, oh yeah, are you gonna make me? I said, well, do you want me to? And it was like the most tense. I don't even know if he remembers it. Probably not. But then he just sat down and we watched TV.

I was like, fuck, I didn't, I didn't have a plan if his answer was yes. Yeah. To that. Thank God that he de-escalated because I certainly didn't. Yeah. Well, it's one of those things, it's one of those times in your life where you sympathize even for a second with your parents. Yeah. Because when you're in a gutter and you're like,

God dammit, man, like I paid a lot of money for this fucking thing and you're treating it like you're treating it like you're walking on the sidewalk. Like you're just like it's a fucking piece of, you know, fucking trash. You don't need to, I can step on it or not, whatever. It's like, I remember I'm so clearly doing them. Would you fucking stop doing what you're doing?

You son of a bitch? Yeah. Either you're kids are too small to discipline correctly or they're too fucking big. Like in this case, a guy you too fucking big for me to discipline. Anyway. Yeah, you're like, man, you have no appreciation

for anything. For my couch, for any thing. Yeah, couch. Think that. Yeah. I think I was a great caller. Yeah. People are saying I interrupt them too much,

but you got to understand that it's fun. And it's delay when you talk to people on the other side of the planet and you don't know when, like it's very strange. Strange to do. People said Milo talked over me and he didn't,

but like the delay is real. The delay is real. Yeah, oh, absolutely. Well, it's long enough to really throw off the flow of a conversation. Yeah, unfortunately. That's the problem with it. That's our fault for trying to have a conversation, disgusting.

So I thought it was great. I thought he's great. Me too. He's very funny. He's number seven on the Rageboard too. So Rocky Man and I, sit, pull into this tiny, tiny table and I squeeze myself in. The second I shit you not in Lucky Baldwin's, the second my ass hits, the second my ass hits the chair. I hear from behind me a fuck a great and slobbery excuse me.

Oh excuse me. Oh no. Right like job of the hut I hear. Wawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawaw the hot air ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho. But I know what it means in my brain, is translating it for me. I think you gotta be, you gotta be fucking kidding me. I'm already at the worst table. This is the worst table in the world. So I turn around and I see a gigantic booth, an ocean of seats.

The booth that you're not supposed to be allowed to sit in if there's only like three of you, yet here they sit. The Weight Watchers meeting of Pasadena taking up, taking up gigantic, taking up a pew of church bench, each in this British pub with the largest of them. The one that's eaten the fourth member of them giving me the fake head turn and slash I roll, not even a look, not even the look. You see, just a head turn to know that they're talking to you and then looking up in the air so you don't have the satisfaction of looking them in the eyes.

Excuse me. And why turn around? My fucking hand is still on the seat. uh... excuse me uh... and white and around my fucking hand is still on the seat yeah from when i'd lower down i turn around i know this tone and i'm too fucking old i'm too fucking old to get duped into this duped into the process of trying to understand you i know what this is the second i hear it it was international women's day by the way

so i know somebody's hopped up on ho-hoes and empowerment. I turn around and say, what? What? What is it? She goes, well, you touched me. I think, are you fucking? I will, I will boil my hand immediately. Yeah, thanks for the warning.

Are you contagious? Is whatever you have contagious? I'll go wash my fucking hands immediately. Are you asking me for, are you asking me for more? Is that what, you, what do you, should I be worried that you're going to bite off a chunk of me because you've sensed my presence? What, what do you mean? I've touched you.

We're not fucking bar. Yeah. You, you get touched you. What a fucking bar. Yeah. You get touched in a bar that is packed when everybody is crammed in like sardines as they should be because I need to be in this bar. Need it. I needed, I was losing a buzz. Oh, that's a dangerous place to be. That's the most irritable place to be.

That's the most irritable place to be. That's the most irritable place to be. And it's the most important to not have distractions. You're like key for Sutherland in 24 when you're losing, if you know you're changing bars, the second you taste that last drop of IPA at the last bar, that's when the little 24 hour clock comes up and starts ticking. Boop, boop, boop, because you have that long to get to the next place. That's why you've got to slam a drink, like have a stiff drink, drink it really quickly at the at the previous bar.

So you know that when you go out, you're going to be actually peaking when you're out. It's smart. Yeah. So you're actually you're having a good, you're having an even better time when you're out. That's smart. Yeah, so you're actually, you're having a good, you're having an even better time than you thought on the way to the next bar. That's a good, that's a good Sean tip. Yeah. So,

so I says to her, and this is why this is my life has become a married with children episode. So I says to her, well, what do you want, what do you want me to do? And she goes, well, you could scoot in. And I'm like, Sean, this is too, this is too awful.

What you're still, she's saying you're still touching her? Or you could, Because I'm fucking, I don't know. I'm not, I don't want to touch this chick. Yeah. I'm sitting here like this. Well, what do you want me to do? Mm-hmm.

Well, you could scoot in. And I said, I can't scoot in because I'm too fat. Ah! Ah! And because I'm too fat. And then I just started laughing. I turn back to rock and then he goes, oh, oh boy. Okay, so the waitress comes over and she goes, are you ready? This is a fucking, so Peg, you never believe what happened to me like you baldwings, right? Yeah. So the waitress comes over and she goes, sir, are you ready to order?

And I said, well, I thought I was, but Moby Dyco over here seems to have a problem. And I don't want to get my table capsized. Which I knew I shouldn't have said, but whatever. So, oh God, Jesus Christ. So the waitress goes, well, let me just move your table. So the waitress moves the table out. And I'm all, I'm amped up now before I get my drink.

And I'm saying, yeah, I'm making the, it's international women's day, not international wall restate, et cetera. No, boy, you're on fire because I fuck up. I, look, I can't kick people out of the bar. No, but I can't take people out of the bar. Yes, you can. This is a gift that I have.

You're like, you're like Melvin from as good as it gets. Yeah, you know, like, yeah. What's a matter? I don't want to matter. Triple parentheses. Your appetite aren't as big as your nose. I don't fucking care anymore. But afterwards they, they pack up and leave.

They pack up their, um, whatever. Yeah, they're their, their. They pack up their whatever. Yeah, their droplets, their jennykrig pamphlets. Oh boy. And I went off to judge the huge audience. No, in this guy sitting to my right, and this is where the shame hits. When you've done something like I do repeatedly, like you think, oh man, I feel like shit,

the tabbing done that. This is when you start, this is when the, I don't know, I forget what the word is called when you start realizing that there's other people living entirely full and rich lives and that are slaves to their own demons, other than just you, and that you should understand them a little better,

maybe tolerate them. It's understanding that helps us live in a world and tolerate a person such as yourself. Like one of these, one of these shame spiral epiphanies, which is very dangerous to get when you're three or four drinks in my friend. It's a terrible, uh, yeah, it's a terrible concept. It's a terrible, terrible realization. Terrible realization. I would like that zapped. I would like that removed from my fucking rod.

It's a rough, yeah. And this guy, this guy, this gentleman gets up to leave. He grabs his motorcycle helmet and red white and blue motorcycle helmet and he goes, Hey, as he was leaving, he goes, Hey, I just wanted to let you know that that whole thing was really funny. Thank you for doing that. And I said, my life is complete day and night, buddy. Thedickshow.com. Did you get through the website out? Yeah. There you go. Fuck it.

Hey, awesome. This is go reported. I'll bet you we get a message from that guy. Oh God. It's just made me fucking. Because that's how this show works. Yeah. And then he'll be some interesting guy.

Yeah. You know, who will I mean, he's drinking before riding a motorcycle. Yeah. I'm sure he's got a couple of tales of fucking up which are the only tales that we want to hear about and nobody wants to hear about success stories. No, just want to hear stories about fucking up. I've never watched a movie past the fourth act.

I just want to see the character get to their worst then I turn the movie off. I say great, that was a good tale of a guy blowing an opportunity and not learning any lessons. I wonder what would happen if you raised somebody with that concept. Instead of veggie tails, you just show them movies and shut it off at the weakest moment. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Make them watch Sesame Street, but edit out all the parts where the adult helps them up it. Right. Like where it's just Grover coming in. Just has a problem. Fucking yeah, total just angst, ridden, you know, can't solve anything.

Yeah, onto the next thing. What the fuck happened? Yeah. Ernie sells, Ernie sells Bert's papercl and Bert cells, Ernie's rubber deck to get, Ernie cells is rubber deck to get Bert a present, Bert cells his paperclip collection to get Ernie of rubber deck holder and then that's the end of the episode. There's no resolution. They just, they each made selfless acts and it fucked them up.

And they suffered for it. Now they have nothing. Next program. Yeah. Uh, All right. I got another one too. You'd probably get a person who was more prepared for the real world. Yeah, or you'd get a corpse.

Yeah. Yeah. Let's see. Dodger tickets have made me rage. You know, Dodger tickets are my opening days, my favorite thing for real. It's coming up already. It, my favorite thing for all. It's coming up already. It's my favorite thing in the world.

What's favorite day? What's going on with Dodger tickets? So the guy that sold us, the Dodger tickets every year in the Dodger's office, retired. He did? Yeah, he's been selling them just for 30 years, I think. I've been going for 15 years, but it's been a tradition with these people for probably 30 years. Well, he's 40. I mean, he's old. Yeah, he decided to go out on a, on a loss,

on a world series loss, but he, he lives in brief stodgers. He's gotta be very old then. Selfish. Selfishly wanted to spend his last remaining years with his, sex dolls, I guess, I don't know. I don't know anything about the man. You're, you're telling me he doesn't want to go to opening day. No, no, no, no, no.

He worked at the Dodgers ticketing office. He's the one who would sell us the tickets. Oh, this is not who I'm thinking of. No, no, no, no, no. Oh, I was going to say. No person, the guy you're thinking of, my friend, who organizes, or God-free, who organizes the Dodgers event, got fucking rated by the FBI last month. I, wait, last month?

Yes. Why they were in Chicago. Oh, shit. Oh, dude. Talk about, hasn't that happened to him before? Yes. Talk about. What is he doing?

Fucking nothing. Same thing, Screly did. Nothing. I don't know. I gotta get the whole story from him. But anyway, the guy who would sell us the tickets from the main office retired. So I thought no big deal.

We'll just buy tickets, right? Yeah. Think of fucking get. Yeah. Because they can't, because to save their lives, they can't make these games exciting. In order to get opening day tickets, you've got to buy 20 games. You've got to buy a fucking ticket pack of 20 games to get one day. How about instead of, instead of forcing, extorting your biggest fan or well fans anyway, I mean, fans, how

about instead of extorting your most enthusiastic fans, you make the baseball game something that's worth attending again. Why don't you knock the price of beer down to $10? Let us have fun in the parking lot, suggest to the police that their presence is not required, that you don't need 10,000 fucking cops. This is the same stadium that added seats in front of the front row and let the offered those people the ability to upgrade for like a hundred thousand dollars to the seats that they once had for a life.

When this ownership group came in, everybody said, this is great, they've got bottomless pockets. I mean, it's a huge, blah, blah, blah, blah. It's like, what, you think they're gonna empty their pockets without refilling them with yours? And so it's fucking so infuriating and the resale to like everybody who's dropping for the 20 tickets is reselling the opening day ticket

on stop-up for like $160. Where's this out fucking rage, yes? Brass Hockey said in the Reddit, I read this this week too, so it's not just a dodger thing. When a response to decreasing attendance, pro sports does everything but lower the cost of a ticket. So that the only way a schlub like me can go is to buy a ticket on the secondary market

from people desperate to recover at least a portion of their cost. Man, fuck, fuck the Dod of their cost, man, fuck, fuck the Dodgers, fuck the unit, fuck, fuck everybody that treats the fans and the people who actually support the sport by watching it like cash machines, like a fucking ATM. I'm so tired of getting raped by the Dodgers. And at every, every year it gets worse. It does. It does.

Every year there's more cops who are now so, you know, they're bored. So now they just want to go talk to chicks and show off their thighs and their bicycle shorts and show off their fucking helicopters. 20 games. You've got helicopters. 20 games. You've got to buy 20 games, you know, make it a hundred. Yeah. Well, make it the, you gotta buy the entire season. Just have one guy in the fucking stand,

he's gonna cover the entire nut for the year. Cock suckers. Yeah. Yep. Yeah. All right. Got another one too, but well, I got a bunch more. I told you I never got to it.

I never get to it. All right. I'm going to play a song by Kendall and Hyde. I got to play more of these songs. They're so funny. Yeah. I don't know how that guy turns them around this fast. I know, they are really, really funny.

There's some of my favorites. And he's just like, I don't even know, I know nothing about him. Yeah, but he just probably better that way. Cranks out the hits. It is better that way. I just see in my head a little, a little gimp mask. Are we gonna talk to Nick Rackets? Yeah, okay.

And I bet. Okay, here's Kendall and Hyde with a Ramshackle affair. Do you see that? You know where that's from? Patreon called Maddox's lawsuit of Ramshackle affair. Oh, is that, that's from Patreon? Yeah. Oh, that's like the plaintiff's,

motion is a Ramshackle affair. Yeah, it makes, nope, it's like, No, no, no, no. It's the lawyer equivalent of that Billy Madison quote, that was the dumbest thing I've ever heard and everyone in this room is now dumber. Yeah, for having heard it. Yeah, I'll read it. I'm going to play it first and I'll read it.

Here we go. There it is. It's your own channel. Fuck you, Jordan. My lawyer's drunk. Let's sue someone for making photo shops of me Responses drop in, I'm not stopping, still white nighting cuckoldry Don't need no stupid patrons, YouTube stations, up-star leaving me

Soon Nick will start lost playing, and while you're waiting, come on sing with me Patriot's response just fuck me up Greenberger wants to prove that I'm a tuck Soon I won't have a single fan in sight But trust me, everything's alright Everything's alright Come or she'll pour the suck, say please hurry Lock dick up and throw away the key

I can't take these all your fees no more Now I'm super broke just like my door My lawyer's dropped my shoes So I'm one for commenting on horsecawed We raised boxes dropping I'm not stopping Guys, the price ever is me Let's have a toast to Pasco host

They're farming ass on crime but yeah Two hours till Nick's lost weight in While you're waiting, come on sing with me It's only gonna be a matter of time When this guest is missed I'll really lose my mind Georgia's lawyers there was cold as I said My shits ram shackled, that's not nice Now I'm getting fat and you're all super chatten

Cause I'm suing everybody way out in Manhattan Let's party just be careful with my flimsy door Take a page from my mocha pa feel on the dance floor My lawyer's drunkless is someone who made some cognizance for me Responses drop in, I'm not stopping Lando more, a boss trophy You'll need no stupid patrons, YouTube's patients Subs are leaving me, soon Nick will start lost

Planing while you're waiting come on Say, move sweet you'll need You'll lawyer Yeah, you'll need a lawyer It's easy That's Heather Heather, Heather, Heather asks it should be Everybody's still our version of Heather asks it

Heather asks it Heather asks Fun online Defend your first amendment on your own dime If you lose your rights rights your problem not mine You're a bride-year later. I still cried get a credit card man. I feel like those right. I don't want to be a fucking crowd-card But one of the bitch will watch their Christmas lights. You'll make the best face of the time. He doesn't have to run The bill of rights is literally a bill. Yeah. Yeah. Are you past now? I'm just an asthma attack.

Wake up, we need to win and get 80s girl back. I miss you. My lawyers. All right, all right, all right. You know what, I'm gonna get so. So he's so proficient. I know, he's so fucking good. I'm gonna get Nick Rackets on now.

That's a good, that's a good segue. Hey, Nick, are you there? Yeah, buddy, I'm here. Hey man, great streams. Yeah. Yeah, I'm here. Hey, man, great streams. Yeah. Yeah. I want to be when I grow up. No shit, I really do.

Me too. Like, everything about Nick makes me really seriously, as I'm drinking with him watching him stream, there's a point where I just start rethinking all of my life choices. Like he's singing Disney songs with his wife on the stream. I know, homeschooling their kids in a compound in the middle of nowhere and not dealing with my problems. And I think maybe the issue is you here. You've fucked up by not being Nick.

Yeah. Yeah, yeah, I know. I know what I think every day. I don't think I'm the only one that does this, but when I see the Nick Riccato is streaming alert pop up, I immediately put it on on my phone and just run home and drive recklessly while watching the screen. So I don't miss a single moment of it. Yeah.

With the Sam Adams open their lap, right? Yeah. Well, whatever. I don't want to accidentally confess to anything Sean is our archnemesis has done. Nick, what's the deal? What's how serious is Maddox saying that he's that he was Heather S. Actually, can you lost Blinett for us? I mean, so so far it's it looks like it's two criminal acts. There's impersonation, the second degree, which was the act of actually doing the impersonation.

And I talked about it on the stream, but the road is in. Because there is a Heather S. Yeah, and she's exactly who he was posing as. Like she's fucking idiot. Dude, what an idiot. It's exactly who would have been, who would have been writing this story. Like, had the actual Heather S,

I'm not gonna say her name, no one like should, I mean, you know, you, it's easy to find cause I fucking linked in. And I'm, and she shouldn't be ashamed to be, to have, to be in this position in her career, but she is the one who would be constructing this story. She's the producer of content. That is. Yep. That is. It's stunning. I am speechless. Yeah. Yeah. And it seems

a little coincidental to argue, well, we just picked a random name and initial from Condon and it has to, so I think they found someone, probably via LinkedIn or some other connection to choose to impersonate that person. And then, you know, the statute in New York says that they just have to do it either for their own personal gain or to cause harm to another person. Well, there you go. Yeah. Yeah. This case, that includes something called pecuniary or monetary harm. And for esterios, I mean, he should definitely, you know, when you get contacted by a feminist organization or publication, or if your general counsel does, alleging that you're doing all sorts of horrific things online. Well, I'm like purposefully taking shit. I've said in men or better than women and making like a graphic of

esterios laughing and saying that he said this. Yeah. Like, oh, no, I know. I just flat out like at what point does it cross the line between? I mean, I know Maddox is like, he's, by nature, he's a wishy-washy guy and he's explicitly being wishy-washy here because I think he knows what he's doing. I think he knows that he's attempting to defame people and fuck up their lives and

he's trying to cover his tracks. At what point in a case like that does it become straight up like a criminal lie? Were you take a quote, put it next to a picture of someone, it's not the same thing as saying, this guy said this? Yeah, I mean, I would think so. His argument would be, no, Dick said it, but Asterios works with them

and so he's condoning it or some stupid thing like that. So it becomes, I mean, prosecuting for the statement or that sort of defamation part, that is really, really a difficult thing to do. Okay. But the one thing that should be a lot easier, I mentioned the, let's see, the impersonation problem, but he's got a perjury problem because he...

Yeah. Okay. Can you explain that for everybody? Yeah. So you're complaint. The initial complaint that he made talks about Heather. The lawsuit that I've wiped my ass with. That's the document you're talking about that I've literally wiped my ass with every

morning, thanks to the enterprising. Did you get a role of that toilet paper? I have received two, yes. Okay, good, yes. I'll get you a toilet paper. From some awesome fans. But yeah, so round paragraph 63, 64 is where the complaint starts talking about Heather.

Right. An individual named Heather, and Heather is in quotes, and I think that was maybe an attempt to shield this off from the get go to say, oh, well, we put Heather in quotes because it wasn't the actual person, but I don't think that gets them out of what they've done here. My name is in quotes. Yeah, Sean's in quotes, too.

I don't even know Sean's real name. Oh, there you go. Maybe you're not the real Sean. Yeah. But I know, Rueck is real name though, because I got a deposit for the trademark. Yeah, I do too. So the the thing is with complaints, they're made, they're technically made under oath. And it doesn't expressly state it in the complaint, but it does in the affidavit that was filed along with the complaint where Maddox says he has read and is familiar with the document. Yeah. Asserts everything in it to be correct to the best of his knowledge.

So you can't just go like, well, I was like, you can't just go like, I was saving this like bombshell for court and I'll just drop it here. Like it turns out what I said before. Haha, I'm my own secret mystery guest. Like is he trying to scoopy-do the judge? Maybe if you were, you could maybe get away with something like that if you were representing yourself. Okay. Where a judge could just be like, no, I'm sorry that you've ever watched TV, but it doesn't actually work that way. Yeah.

So what exactly is the perjury? Like he said before, it makes it seem like Heather S is a different person. And he's like, he doesn't flat out say, I posing as Heather S. What makes it perjury just including the shit from Heather S? Is there like, is there a line where he says, I'm not Heather S. He sort of in one of the, one of the responses, I think it was to Asterios. He read, I don't, and I might show it before this summer, but it basically says that he was, Asterios asked Maddox to apologize for something he quote did not do. Right. And that was posing as Heather.

Now he's established. Yeah. Now he's established that Heather is a separate person by saying that. Okay. Right. Yeah. As far as I can tell, I mean, the elements of the crime are there. Prosecuting a crime is always different than having the elements, especially when a crime

involves speech or a crime involves, you know, some sort of action. Especially when it involves slap dickery and there's better things to prosecute than having the elements, especially when a crime involves speech or crime involves, you know, some sort of action. Especially when it involves slap dickery and there's better things to prosecute than a moron pretending to be a girl online. Right. Right. Now, what it is bad in terms of the lawsuit though, is it could mean a sanction. And what's interesting about it, this makes it doubly interesting. So if you caught on the

the last stream I talked about, Landau's case, Almasiga versus CIR, where he narrowly avoided sanctions because it was shown that he put forth enough effort to maybe not know that that his client was lying. But in this one, I think putting Heather in quotes in paragraph 64 or 65, 66 indicates that Landau did know that Maddox was Heather. And therefore it was perpetrating the fraud on the quote. Because it's in quotes. I mean, he does have a problem with quotes.

The same way we know that. He has several punctuation errors, but Heather is consistently in quotes. I think they should put an interlock device in. Why, why, why keyboard? Why am I in quotes? I don't know why you're in quotes. Do you know what I mean?

Yeah. That, that is my name. Everybody knows my name. It's, it's, I've only been myself. But it is like being a, is being a, a fucking idiot in this case, an excuse. If you're a lawyer, like ignorance isn't, you can't just say, I just kind of put people in quotes sometimes, they're supposed to not be a good one.

No, I mean, I guess it's, or they're not your argument would be, well, no, sorry, I'm just really terrible at this. Most lawyers don't make that argument, although I guess it could happen. So what are the odds that is lawyer new, the lawyer knew, Maddox was lying in the first place. And what would you do?

What would you say as a lawyer if your client was withholding this information? Man, it's, it's a tough call because advising him to sign that affidavit. That seems totally fucked to me. That's advising him to break the law, like to admit to a crime. So that's not true. Yeah, like you can't take the fifth anymore, motherfucker. You already signed it away. Like we got it and it didn't gain, it didn't seem to gain him anything because everything

that Heather, like going back and rereading the Heather emails and like imagining Maddox sitting there in a wig, actually I have a picture of it. Let me show, let me bring it up on the screen. Sean, have you seen this? Like this is some great plan. Yeah, have you seen this picture? Fucking, he's so goddamn dumb. Call of the deep drew a picture of Maddox getting into character as Heather S.

Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God. I'd cut me. Fucking buffalo bill. Yeah. I'd definitely be reading it in the Dunn fan voice, right? Would you cut me? I'd cut me.

I'd cut me hard. Have you seen this, Nick? Yeah. It's disgusting. It's disgusting. It's great, but it's horrifying. It's absolutely horrifying, dude. And it's actually, it's more fit to the tagline of this show.

It's great, but it's horrifying. Yeah. Anyway. So there's so. Go ahead. So the, yeah, the, the, the ideal, the, the problem with this case is when you, when you perpetrate a falsehood on the court, and this is shown in Al Masego, which is, uh, funnily enough is actually actually used as a suitable case for rule 11, uh,

sanctions, because the judge wrote a big treatise on it. But, um, one of the possible sanctions for this is dismissal of the action. And that's what happened in Almasiga. They, the judge basically said, you know, because you've lied so much about this, yeah, uh, we can't. We can't maintain the action. And I think at this point, aren't you just taking someone asking? Okay. Yeah. Yeah. That's it. But the other problem. Oh, sorry. Max, go to jail for this. That's what I want to know. Is someone else? Are we going to be joking about him getting raped? Is that right? Right. I would not advocate joking about Maddox get raped in any fashion. Of course not.

No, but it's, it's possible. It's unlikely. So the impersonation in the second degree is a misdemeanor. So it's unlikely that they would like extra item from California to New York to, to, you know, to bring him in for that. Okay. I think great if he's the only one getting sued in New York at the end of this. Well, he, there's no, I don't think Australia has a choice, but to sue him.

Because think about, like, think about you getting brought in to your boss and the fucking head lawyer of your PR company. No matter what, you're fucked. No matter what. I know how, I know the basics of how marketing and PR work, let's pretend that I know the basics of it. It is so, it is so hard to jockey for that position where you're the client facing guy

and you're the producer of your creative. Like, it is, it's so difficult to do that on a whim, you could be your future as this, in this role in your company can be revoked. Just because like if this, if this client has the slightest amount of disdain for you, or something around you, or there's a tiny hint of anything bad you're fucking gone.

Yeah. The whole nature of the business is keeping clients in a state of euphoria is like keeping them in an eternal wedding night state of mind where everything is new and everything is brilliant. And the future with you is going to be golden. There is no like, well, you got to understand there's none of that. It all goes one way. So in my opinion, I don't see how Asterios doesn't have a gigantic counter suit

when all this is done. And in New York, go ahead. Yeah, well, I mean, frankly, one thing to say quickly is that Weber-Shanwick deserves some credit for keeping him employed through this. I hope they continue to keep him employed afterwards, but I wouldn't be surprised if he's not once this is all blown over. But it just points one more finger towards the lack of foresight and consistent, bad decision making of Maddox that he tried to rope in a giant PR firm

thinking that they wouldn't fight this as absolutely hard as possible. And that they might know something about PR. Yeah. And that they might have like some decent lawyers, you know, like a publicity company with locations in like 40 fucking countries, 40 fucking countries and this fucking idiot thinks he can rope in a lawyer from them and just get them to go, oh yeah, well, we'll totally give you a quote.

We don't have to verify anything. How much would that, and for your code plan, if you'd like to make that out to cash, right? You don't wanna give us your name. I mean, there is a reason. You could take a random person off the street, jam an ice pick in their ear, scramble their brains, and they wouldn't be as stupid

as Maddox is in this. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's the word mind blowing. Like it is, it's mind blowing. He sued, of the many parties involved, it's Patreon, whom he already has a contract with, that stipulates very specifically how these legal matters

are to be resolved. Right, like he didn't even cancel his page maddox and even cancel his patreon with them before suing them he has an asset relationship with them as nick pointed out in right in the right yeah he yeah they give him the game of road to hang himself i mean so fucking dumb then he says uh... because our juggernaut who knows more who has armies working on the science and the art of public relations

he sues them over a public relations matter yeah right and then he sues me a guy who has no reason to do any no reason to answer to any who has no master right who can say anything who knows every single fucking I know who he's named after I mean I know dirty fucking I know here's here's one for you the book I am better than your kids where it's all the kids artwork that Maddox makes fun of

I hope that he's got all of his releases in order for that artwork because I have a feeling that it might have been grifted from a bunch of school children who are not aware of it, who did not sign releases. So I really hope that he got his shit together in that one, you know what I'm saying? Then I don't have access to someone

who might fucking know exactly where all that art from children came from. Right. You know what I'm saying? I mean, the worst person in the world to sue. New York Times best seller, there had to be some money made there and you would think that there would be some sort of either release or... Yeah, it was $200,000. For some sort of agreement.

That's what he got for that book. Spread out in installments, spread out in three installments. You get 60 grand up front, 60 when you turn in the manuscript and then 60 on like a count of publication or something like that. And it's the last big deal he'll ever get and his editor told him that to his face because it bombed so hard, because it was fucking terrible. See, this is a miles of goss, miles

because my mind is like a steel fucking trap. I've never misremember or forget one fucking trap. I've never misremember, I forget one fucking thing. Uh. Oh man. Pretty good for an aside. Pretty good for an aside. Yeah, I think so. So I don't know, I lost my, I get so upset,

I lose my train. I did too, because it's just the preposterousness of, well, him suing a public relations juggernaut like that. When I think Sean mentioned earlier, or maybe it was a pre-show, but you're talking about how every single thing he's accusing anyone else of, he does. Right. And not only has he done them, he still does them, or he authorizes it or whatever. I mean, the fact that he included the affidavit of that other person.

Yeah, that was just stunning as well, to admit to what could absolutely amount to stalking in New York under the statute. Yeah, you went through that. It was stocking in, I think the number four, I was going to say, yeah, stocking in the fourth degree. The problem with that person though, is that person happens to live in New York and do business in New York. They have to extradite him to charge him with anything.

I just need a trick, Maddox, to go to New York, so we don't have to extradite him to charge him with anything. Yeah. I just need a trick, Maddox, to go to New York, so we don't have to extradite him. He has. Well, he might have to show up for one of these, for a hearing. Oh, really? It's possible that, you know, if the judge wants to hear something on the matter, he could request both, both, well, him and all the other parties to show up. And they may allow them to appear by representation, but they may not They may work especially for him since he demanded to sue in that form and said it would be convenient for him and

vehemently so I would suspect that a judge would be happy to To bring him in especially if he was planning on sanctioning him or... or exercising the court's jurisdiction he'd want him there for it we need i need to i need to put some i need to get some action on this i need to put money i need to start putting money on the outcome of this you know that is that legal nick to bet on uh... uh... well wait it's not only it's not legal to bet is it

fucking america fucking america man fucking america you could pretend to be a woman online and he emails someone's job, but you can't bet on a court case. You should, you should check with the first client about that. I'm not familiar with, with California law on bedding. I'm using some action. But personal bets are not gambling in the state of Minnesota.

I may not be gambling in the state of California. You just got to check how the statute is worded. Gotcha. You know, organized gambling is one thing and using like a bookie to make bets and all that stuff, that's one thing. But personal bets between people in Minnesota are not criminalized. So they may not be criminalized there. All right.

Well, you got any more questions for Nick. Nick, you got a Lego guy. Did you see that? I have been looking for the link. I haven't found it yet. So good've said this before, it's unreal. But it's, it's, Nick, you really are, you're so good at breaking it down for somebody like me who does not speak legalese or anything like that. Because it's, it really, it's all about logic. But you put it in, you put it in a way that's so easy to digest.

And without swearing, I can't believe I can pay attention for three hours and he doesn't drop one curse word. He even changes curse words. Yeah. I tried to because my kids all have iPads, so. Yeah, yeah, yeah, probably, probably good. I mean, they're gonna learn it. You know, they don't need to hear it from you all the time,

probably, but, but one of the people on the board said, Heather S is an anagram for rats. He and I fucking lost my mind. I lost my mind. The top artists that are associated with this show and now you and it was just that just fucking killed me. I had to pause. Here's a here's Nick Rackett. Oh, look at that. Oh, nice. And then I think this is, I think this is Keon on the right because he's got Americans. I don't know who this gentleman is in the middle who's angry. I bet that's a lot of racker. And a bunch of a pack of dogs falling right. It looks like he's been wrapped as a, wrap is a prosecutor. And he's a fan of the show. He, he sent you a letter

a long time ago when he had just graduated from law. I remember that. I remember that. That's probably him. Cool. Yeah. I think he also asked a question that how he could study more better while he was studying for the bar and I told him to move shit around that his apartment.

Oh no. Oh no. Oh no. Oh no. I think it is with the dogs. I knew who was. Oh no. I'm so sorry, Ralph. Don't sue me. No, no, no, no, I win.

Anything make you a rage? Nick, you're a trap man. Well, first, you're you're you're taking many of my rages, but I've got a different one today and that's weed weed in general and not not because people who use weed or anything like that. I don't, but at this point, why in God's name is that not a legal substance yet? Because I mean, just the background of this is I'm writing a motion right now to dismiss because one of my, well, three of my clients are charged with ownership of hemp oil. The garbage you can buy at like any hippie store in town. Yeah. They're charged with felonies for owning this stuff because the cops in my town have nothing better to do.

Yeah, you, that's, see, that wouldn't happen here. It's, it's crazy what humans will do to one another if we can write it down on paper first. Yeah. Like, you see that, yeah, makes it a philosophy. You see that guy you want to throw him in prison for the rest of his life and make his kids grow up without a dad because just write it down.

Because he likes to get high while you're real. And now you're fucking driving around drunk like a lunatic. Yeah. Well, yeah, but I wrote it on the paper and the paper says that I have to do it. Like, can you stupid mother fucker? It is amazing. It's a person that you're doing this to a person. Fuck you.

Well, depersonalize is it. Yeah. And if anyone wants to know why we should be legalize, and again, I don't do weed. I don't care about it. I have no vested interest in it. But if you want to know why, just look at the amount of people in jail because of it. It's a stunning percentage. Something north of 60% I believe is related to marijuana directly. Yeah, it's well, I'll tell you this. It's also the amount of cops that there are, like the amount of cops and the militarization of said cops that is required because we've built an army of elicit dealers and who need to protect, who need to protect their extralegal activities with their own army, like the

effect that what we've done to the police is turn them from Andy Griffith and Rooster Cogburn, like champions of good and right into like a massive bothersome inconvenience on all of our lives is because of drugs. Is because of fucking weed. We did this to them. Oh, yeah, the war on drugs is caused incredible amount of death and money. And of no means.

It's warped, it's like turned police from something that we needed and loved into, it's like we, it's like breeding, inbreeding dogs. And you started with a nice useful dog, but now you got a Dalmatian who's high strung and will kill you. That's what we did to cops. Pretty much.

The other aspect of it is that everything that we develop, this is the other problem. Everything that we develop as a useful tool for the law enforcement that we want, like fighting terrorism or whatever, it's all got this back sort of motive to get to people for weed and make no mistake.

It's weed. Someone on Twitter the other day was talking about how best buy I guess is cooperating with the FBI with the Geeks squad and they're like searching people's computers for kid porn or something. And they went with that. And they find weed. They also send that along. Yeah, well that's the thing. It's like you're fine with the kid porn being something. And they're like, oh, I'm fine with that. They find weed. They also send that along. Yeah. Well, that's the, that's the thing. It's like, you're fine with the thing. It's pain-stuffed, but it's going to be used for weed.

Sean just destroyed his hard drive and his pocket. He looked over his shoulder for the key squad. That's where I keep. Yeah, I keep my, I keep looking over my shoulder for a day and rather, I keep, I keep my weed in my hard drive. Right. I know you do. Yeah. Yeah, rather, I keep my weed in my hard drive. Right. It's just follow. I know you do. Yeah. Sorry, Nick, keep going.

No, it's fine. It's just that, you know, this all boils down every single one of these surveillance policies and stuff that we like. The Patriot Act, you know, all of this boils into, it's going to be used to find someone with drugs and take their kids away or some other garbage like that. They've been away from their kids so much worse. Yep. I mean, if we could talk about like if we could talk about race and crime, let's fucking

start there. Well, how many black dads did you round up with this shit who are doing the only thing they fucking can to feed their family? Yeah. Because you sent all their jobs to China. So you could save $300 a year. How many did you round up? Priv privileged white fuck, millions of them. Most of them.

Yeah. Yeah. You created a culture for them, huh? By the way, you created this culture for them. They didn't do it themselves. You did it to them. Yeah. Yeah.

Sorry. And so, yeah, weed makes me a rage. That's a good one. Yep. Good one. All right, sorry. So yeah, weed makes me a rage. That's a good one. Yep, good one. All right, man, looking for what's your, what's your over under for when this is all going to be done? I'm hoping we see a ruling on a stereosis motion this coming week. It could be as early as this week.

Really? Yeah. So believe it or not, green burger's response was almost a month ago. Oh my god. Well, I couldn't believe it. Mad Cux didn't get served. Like Mad Cux is a hundred and twenty-day window expired this week. So yeah, it's been three fucking months. So he's clear. So he's clear. Wow. Yeah. He goes right back to harassing. He's named and was never served. It's gone. It's gone.

Total bullshit scare tactic to give him to stop being madcucks. Yeah. And to give him to probably hate me. Yeah. Well, didn't work. Didn't work. And when you, he's not, when you could eventually just raw in competence. Yeah.

Yeah. So a stereo's this week. It could be, it could be this week. I'm not 100% sure on, on how New York procedure works, but the way it works around here is once you have all of the documents on a motion, the judge typically takes 30 days tops to issue an order. Now, they're judges. So if they take a little longer, they take a little longer. It's fine, but it's, it's a commercial court. So I, court. So the expectation is they move quickly. And I think that 30-day window from Greenburgers response

motion is coming up. OK. And that should be hilarious. What about me? When am I going to get off? You've still got a couple of weeks, because I think your response was the week before last. Yeah. So you should have probably two weeks left. Fuck. Okay. And, uh, and I mean, I, I would suspect, I don't

know how they could maintain the motion, but I would suspect you're out of there. But who knows? Who knows, man, the judge is involved in, and it, it, it all is in a human hand. Well, as long is in a human's hands. Well, they, as long as they take their time to make the right decision, I'm, I'm happy whatever they, whatever the, you know, that's what, that's what, that's what we're going with. That's what we want to happen. Them to take as much time as they need to read the docs and get all the lulls out of

their system and then make the call that's taken just, take their pants to the dry cleaners to get the pee stains out of them. What about, there's also Jordan. Well, whoever's responses do, I think on the 27th of this month, they negotiated a little longer response. And I expect it to be absolutely devastating. Oh, good. Yeah.

Because their first one was brutal. Yeah. And then Landau came out with another 30 page rambling. Oh, yeah, let me read that. They're like the, he's like the little shit who talks shit to the big guy who just doesn't want any trouble or whatever. And the big guy just pulverizes them with one punch. And then as the big guy turns around to walk away from it,

the little fucker kicks him like from the ground. And it's like, well now, now I got it. No, I got it. I got it really embarrassed. Now I got to put my thumb in your eye till it turns to jelly. Yeah. You know, like it's, and I don't know.

And every Israel has a United States, I think is what you're saying, to save them. If it depends on how closely Weber's lawyers are following this, I assume very closely, mainly because of who they are. But if they catch that thing in the affidavit, I would suspect that they'll be pushing for the sanctions. You know, wonderful motion. Okay. Here's, I was just wanted to read the intro to that,

that Ram Shackle affair. Planum's opposition brief is a Ram Shackle affair. Yeah, that's Lawyer's Vique for Shit Show. Yeah. This is a ramshackle. My dear, this is a ramshackle affair. What you've built here. 25 pages long. It's much of which juicy and word. Yeah, much of which is single spaced. That's right. Right.

Ultimate Lawyer fuck up, right? Yeah. Not getting your spaces correct. You're right. Much of which is single spaced. Yeah. Need I say more? That's a Lawyer mic drop containing a plethora of case sightings, but making only

a handful of actual arguments. All right, man. I gotta go. Thank you for calling in. Yeah, thanks as always, guys. Thank you for doing these things. See you, Nick. Great job.

Great job. Great job, Patron. Patron is at 732, I think, right now. What? Wow. It's doing great. Way to go. Your other videos are great too.

Oh, thanks a bunch. Thanks a bunch then. Yeah. If you don't watch them, do. What does your wife think about all this? At first, she was a little uneasy, but she's not the money, right? Then she saw the Patreon and thought, Cuboing. Well, then, then she popped up on one of the live streams.

Yeah. She got a very good response. And that's been great. Of course, obviously, your show fans are awesome, just in general. Yeah, they are. And so we've been having a lot of fun with it. So we're literally trying to make a product that people want to keep consuming. So we take a lot of good feedback.

And she's starting to have fun with it. I think she's all the non-live stream lawsuit videos. So. Okay. I'm sorry, you're starting to break up a little bit at the end there. Oh, sorry about that. But that's awesome. It's good to see her on there.

Very pretty. Yeah, I know. I know. I've seen her. Beautiful woman. That's absolutely true. Eyes like the sea. A blue is the blue is the summer sky.

That's what I would say. Are her eyes blue? Yep. Yes. All right. Bye Nick. See you later. See you later.

I'm gonna play another song. He really is very good at what it's. Nick? It's so difficult to do. I can't do what you do and I can't do what he does. But I do understand how difficult it is to sit there and be engaging for solo for that many hours.

He's great. Well, reading legal documents. Reads and through, he goes off on, he makes a lot of like broad points to about what he's reading and what it means and like what's in the mindset of people who are doing it and what they thought would happen and what will probably. That's what I was attempting to say when he was on.

Which was, yeah, which was just the way that you, the analogies he makes. Yeah. Make it easily understood for anybody. Okay, this was sent in by Peach. Nobody's Heather, I think, boy. Like nobody's better. Yeah.

Nobody does it better. I think she's got nobody's does nobody does it Heather Nice. Here we go. And then I'm gonna get to grant Nobody knew I was Heather I'm a I was Heather. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha I'm a male femmonest Cause I'm secretly mad at ex Posing as a woman Don't tell anyone that I secretly like it But I'm not a David

Confirm the truth that I'm tucking it in my butt every night Oh Nobody knew I was heaven Especially real heaven I'm playing the piano. Other ass. I'm suing the fake crimes while committing actual crimes. I'm suing the fake crimes while committing actual crimes. I'm suing the fake crimes while committing actual crimes.

I'm suing the fake crimes while committing actual crimes. I'm suing the fake crimes while committing actual crimes. I'm suing the fake crimes while committing actual crimes. I'm suing the fake crimes. I'm suing the fake crimes. I'm suing the fake crimes. I'm suing the fake crimes. I'm suing the fake crimes. I'm suing the fake crimes. I'm suing the fake crimes. I'm suing the fake crimes. I'm suing the fake crimes. I'm suing while doing actual harassment It's almost like I'm a big jealous ass hole

Dressed to injury I'm coming Hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry I see in my plan No, what other As good as I am Baby baby I'm not even I'm not even a man God damn so good so good oh i'm a bitch i'm a cop not a man yeah i'm a cop got my coward not a man

this is what they do now i know i'm not even good enough to be a woman, I'm not a man. Oh. Man, I'm a stupid asshole, not a man. So fucking good. Oh man. Oh man. Oh man.

Every time I go, you know, peaches, peaches remembered all the lyrics to that one. That's great. Peaches really talented. And then I hear that stuff and I go, she's even more talented than you think she is. Yeah, she is. She's gonna be out here next week. I'm gonna try to get into a piano. She'll come in then, right?

Yeah, she's coming in for St. Patrick's Day. Oh man, that's gonna be a rough one. And I wanna try to get her to sing on the piano, Twitch streams that I do. Oh, there you go. A rig, last one sounded great, had a couple problems, but I wired the piano upstairs to the downstairs basement,

instead of building this shit box of wires. And like, I'm like, I'm like, pig, pig pen. Like wherever I go, there's just a cloud of wires and devices that remain, and it strives women insane and it strives to be fair, it annoys me. But I can deal with it because I, it's like, I'm like Oscar the Grouch, except it's cables and devices.

Those are my friends and that's where I belong. So wherever I move in, whatever apartment I have or house I have just just it's almost instantly, it's like an alien that comes into your place and slowly starts transforming everything to be like an alien. You know, except with me, it's just wires start, you know, tying themselves in knots. Yeah, tying themselves in knots. So that's what the piano room was starting to look like upstairs.

It's like, I got to stop this. I got to fucking stop this. I have a problem. I got to, I to stop this. I got to fucking stop this. I have a problem. I got to problem. I can't live like this. They're gonna take my corpse out of here, and somebody's gonna have to bring in the jaws of life

to chop through all these cables, get to this guy. And they would say, what did he do? He looks like more, this is, oh my God, he's more cable than man. They're gonna say, he's more computer than man. That's where they call me, the $20 million man. So I got a bunch of cables to run them from the piano down to the studio.

Yep. Put those bitches in the wall, right? No problem. Put that shit in the wall. This is what you do when you plan. Got a bunch of cables, just run it down to the streamer in the studio. Got a brand new computer.

Run it down there, right? Order a hundred foot, order a bunch of cables on Amazon. I get them, run them through the fucking house, plug them into the mixer, Japanese radio station. Full volume. Was he, like I can't,

I can't get a fucking break, Sean. So he asked him for dildos. So I mean, this is like, I'm arguing with fat women who are saying, who are making audacious and slanderous claim that I'm touching them. And then I come home and my wires in my house are broadcasting Japanese radio stations. But I gotta figure it out.

You do. Yeah, it took all day. Took a lot of whiskey. But I gotta figure it out eventually. Yeah. So she'll be there. Well, that's good, hopefully. Yeah.

Let me see if Grant Mooney's there. Speaking of wonderful musicians. Okay, Grant, you there. Yeah, sure. Yeah, can you hear me? Yeah, man. What's up? You're around.

You've had an unmistakable and undeniable impact Yeah, sure. Yeah, can you hear me? Yeah, man. What's up? You're around. You've had an unmistakable and undeniable impact on my life with your Titanic song. Yeah, thank you. Every time I hear that, I think the Grant Mooney version. You know what's fucked? When that Japanese radio station came in, they were playing the Titanic song. The first fuck I plug it in and that it starts going. I'm like, am I in a fucking Truman show?

Where a guy just gets shit on or what? This is fucked. Where did this come from? Is this like a Japanese, all the rest is like K-pop. And then they play, my heart will go on by Celine Dionne. What in the fuck? Oh my God, that's hilarious. Yeah, you were, by the way, this guy is a, he's a looker.

You're like a personal trainer, right? Or something like that. We met in Chicago. Yeah, you were, by the way, this guy is, he's a looker. You're like a personal trainer, right? Or something like that? We met in Chicago. Yeah, yeah, yes. Yeah. Yeah. All right, what have you got for, man? What did you, what did you want to say you called in?

I forget why though. No problem. It's been a long day. I've got a podcast that I've been working on with. It's me and my friend Kevin. He's an accomplished comedy writer from Chicago. He's worked on the onion. He's worked on his own podcast.

What's the name of the podcast? It's called Thought Cops. Thought Cops, great. It's, I know you guys have been talking about outrage porn and outrage culture. A lot of... An outrage porn star, dude. Now they're turning out.

They're taking our young, barely legal boys and girls and they're turning them out. Young children, these outrage pimps are turning our teenagers into outrage porn stars. It's just using them up. The industry, the outrage industry uses them up. Yeah. Go ahead. Yeah. So it's just that's all we talk about on the show is just different things that outrage people week to week. So far, we've been doing it for about a year and we have not run out of things to talk about because every week it's just the outrage machine turns out more and more and more stupid shit to talk about.

So what was last week? Or what are your hits? What are your hits? Our hits. I think one of my favorite ones lately from this was a couple weeks ago, but do you know the singer lord? Yeah, yeah. She was in some heat because she was supposed to play a concert in Israel. And a lot of people were like, oh, I don't play there. There are a colonialist entity that you know are pressing the Palestinians and

lords at 20 year old. I don't think that you need to add why you should be anti-Israel. Like someone's either anti-Israel or they're not at this point. Like you don't need to give them a little bit of evidence. Like, oh, because they're colonial, is that, I've heard a lot more reasons why I should not like Israel. That's the only one you're going with. All right. That's the basic gist of it.

Cause you have to remember that Lord is a 20 year old pop singer that knows like Dick about the situation. So she, like her response to that was, let me read up on it. I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna find out about it. And so, so she canceled her concert in Israel. Immediately after she does that,

a rabbi took a full page, here we go, I had out of a newspaper calling her anti-Semitic. Ah, okay. So it's just like one thing after another, after another, and nobody gets a fucking break with it. No. It's so fucking ridiculous.

Can't even think about it. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Just sends me into a fucking... Oh, Israel's up to something. Let even think about it. Yeah, yeah. Just sends me into a fucking... Oh, Israel's up to something. Let me read about it. Full page ad. Anti-semite, anti-semite.

Okay. Oh man. I'm going to Israel, two months. Are you? Yeah, I'm going to the... That means you're anti-Muslim, I think. Or anti-Palestine, something. You know what, I'm anti-everything.

Can't you just be a tourist? I just real too. Yeah, that's a good one. What else? Just from the past couple of weeks, I got McDonald's flipping its logo upside down for International Women's Day. I knew that's what it was. God.

Somebody's like, what? It's got to be for women, right? Like, yeah, they're celebrating women being in the kitchen by how many employees they are. Right? Uh, McDonald's. Uh, they should celebrate by just serving salad all day. I don't know, I don't know why.

Gucci makes a line of culturally appropriate of turbines that have Sikhs all over the world pissed off Just stuff like that Sikhs are pissed. I thought they were always nice. I thought they didn't care The fuck they're not here. I don't I don't know. It's either them or someone else Man fuck them there like that check your hat privilege, dude That is a cool fucking hat the turbine. Hmm. You're telling me that no one could wear. Both of both seeks and Native Americans, fuck you. That is a cool hat that you guys lucked into because that whatever, like your ancestors thought it would be cool to kill a bunch of birds and decorate their hat or wrap a towel or, you know, or wrap like a bed sheet. Guy said like, oh, a guy didn't, got one time a guy

and wherever, didn't Arabia, didn't know that the fitted sheet and the normal sheet are both supposed to go on the bed. He's like, well, what do I do with this square sheet that doesn't fit? Just wrap around my fucking head and get out of the way. That's fucking awesome. I want one of those. Just because of that guy,

none of us can have your cool hats. Fuck you, man. Thousands of years ago, he had a fitted sheet. That's what I take away from this. Yeah, that's what's funny to me. He had a fitted sheet, and he's like, well, this clearly fits over something. I'm gonna take the just the flat one.

And don't think that's put it on my head. You're going to target. Ooh, this is a Nuts. And a Nuts. Yeah. You don't think that's an easy invention? The sheet keeps coming off at night and the hay sticks me and my nuts. I'm just gonna fit it.

The hay sticks in my nuts. I can stick it in my nuts. What which is the length and which is the width. I'll never figure it out. Guy woke up with a piece of straw sticking out of his p-hole and he said, that's enough. That's a matter of inventing the best of them today. Today, and his wife's like, oh, one of his wives is like, you've been threatening that for a long time because it's, you know, it's the Middle East, Sean.

So any wives, that's what I'm saying. Any wives. We call them girlfriends in the Western civilization. Of course, of course. Of course. Okay. Well, you got anything else, Grant. You're a good news, babe. Yeah.

This is basically all we do on the show also. It's like some of these things are so easy to talk about. Literally all you have to do is say the article headline and it's funny in and of itself. Like there's. Literally all you have to do is say the article headline and it's funny in and of itself. Like there's very little work you have to do to make something like that funny. Yeah. I mean, they've honed it. They've really honed it down to science.

Yeah. Yeah. They. One of my favorite ones, this is recent. This is as of a day ago. What? Is Bruno Mars. What are you laughing at?

I thought that was a, you said to Vey. Oh yeah, I did. Yeah. Yeah. Bruno Mars, it would. Bruno Mars, there is now an argument online whether or not he's appropriating black music because he's not black, but he, he's not black. He plays music that's in the style of Michael Jackson and Prince and...

Wait, what is he? He's like half Filipino, half Latino. He's mixed race. Oh. I thought he was black. I thought he was black too. Huh. So he's so...

Oh yeah, you know what? Just make music, dresses shitty and selfish as everything else. Take out the collaboration and the evolution of it. Just, just ruin it. Fuck you. And then one of the, one of the, one of the gimmicks for our show is to try and find some sort of a, like a solution to the problem because obviously, whether or not he's guilty of the appropriation or not.

He is, you know, he's, he's pissing people off, he's offending people. So we always try and find some sort of sentence for him. Oh, I see. Like, for instance, we would say, because you're the police. You're the thought cops. We're the thought cops.

So we would say, well, now from now on, he has to paint his face black and draw big red lips on. And hopefully that makes everyone happy. That would be a sentence for Bruno Mars. It's not going to work. Can't send that one back to the thought. This is why they're thought cops and not thought judge and jury. I got you.

Right. Thought judge is never going to make a call like that. All right, man. Thank you for all your music. Yeah. Absolutely. check it out. What, thought cops. Dot xx.net. Dot net, okay.

Thought cops.net. All right, man, take it easy. And thanks for having me on. You too. Yeah, thank you. Thought cops. Like that guy. I do too.

Much a little bit better job reading the news than our last personal trainer. News day. He's a personal trainer, right? Yeah. Yeah. Sorry, Jamie. Okay. I think I think that's it. I had a bunch of other I've got some more songs. I'll play one for the break. Oh, you remember my cook bounty to prove that Maddox is a cuck off for that bounty. Yeah. Just if someone has slept with mental Jess while her and Maddox are dating.

Yeah. I got a hit on that. I don't want to talk about it any more than that, but you're set. You save it for two hours into the show to throw that little fucking. Yeah. Yeah. John, you know, wow. Got hit.

Okay. I don't know. Could be bullshit. Could be a larper. Yeah. Yeah, John, you know, wow, got hit. Okay, I don't know, could be bullshit, could be a larper. Yeah, I'm taking a very serious. Yeah, well, I got to do with my best to defend a stereos. You do what the great magnet tells you to do. It's getting stronger every day. Yeah, I think I'm getting close to it. I'm gonna find that fucking thing sooner or later.

Mm. Yeah, I'm getting close to it. I'm gonna find that fucking thing. Zuner later. I also said I would tell the story of Maddox posing as a reporter. Fuck, man. You wanna tell the story? I mean, why would? I wanna hear from Captain Jack. I'll tell the next. Got it.

I'll tell the next time I swear. Well, I'll tell him in the bonus episode. You wanna do the bonus episode this week? Can you? Yeah, okay. Let's do a bonus episode. I'll tell it then. Yeah, I'm pretty sure I can this one.

Okay, okay. I'll do it then I promise. Okay, everybody, let's do a bonus episode. I'll tell it then. Yeah, I'm pretty sure I can this one. Okay, okay, I'll do it then I promise. Okay, everybody, thanks for listening. This has been the DIC show. DIC dot show, the DIC show.com, Patreon.com slash the DIC show. Head to shop.dIC.show. To pick up T-shirts from Portland, sign copies of Men or Bed in the Women,

a bunch of shirts. I'm gonna stick, I think I'm gonna stick a Sean shirt up there. So everyone's asking for it. I don't know. Matt Miller from Matt Miller, Inc., has made a couple cool ones. Really? I think I'm gonna start doing like limited edition shirts.

We just order them, we let people order for a month and then send them out. That's pretty cool. Yeah, so I don't have to keep inventory then. I got some crank calls from the phone losers to play next week too, and I'm gonna have him call in. He got fucking railed by the system. Really?

He got found guilty of a felony prank calling. That's a thing, dude. Like he disappeared for a while because he got brought in by the fucking law. But he called the White House or something. He called the wrong, he called the wrong piece of shit, I guess. I guess. People have no fucking sense of humor.

We take that for granted. If you have us as a humor, I know. There are people who literally don't. Yeah, like they don't have capacity. Scary. And it's not because they're like weird rainmans. They're normal people. they just don't get jokes My room records is calling in next week too. He's got an album. Oh right right right too small of an album

You can get it for pre sale right now. That's right on Amazon Yeah, he opened the the Portland show he did he's great., he's great. He's a cool guy, he's a cool guy. And his merch for it was on point. His merch people were on point Diego said. This is from MCDUM fake, Ailey Seam, this is from L.A.R. Son, podcast God. It is, see you next Tuesday. Fuck my kid, Bills. Look, I was gonna go easy on you.

If you're sitting in my kid bolts, get, try not to hurt your feelings, but I'm only gonna get this one chance Because there's something wrong with you and I can feel it. I'm a little clever than a sweet impression. Like, Jane Doe, Saka GI Joe, Up Your Ass, and no one ever pulled it out. So, instead of a dog bite lawyer, I'm gonna be your doctor. Pull that out right for you.

Here we go. And on these gloves, you're just one of the guys. I think you need to feel like a podcast, God, cast God. Feeling of a sense of pride, a firmative nod. Everything in this world is subset of a box. Everyone is getting sued by mad dog. Your coasting cock, he's running for the podcast crown, he's gunning. Got no hair like dick, mass, dare, and jeans, I'm fair, but it's stupidity,

it's stunning. I've got no love left Dick Mastare and James unfair, but a stupidity sounding. I've got no love left when he's super half a billion, man. Make Dick into the 20 million dollar, man. Thought you wrote a book on manliness. Man, what new words will you try to ban you bitchy bald, man? Ban me on Twitter, your career in the shitter. Billboard charts left a right free, and NYT won hit her. Straight up, no one likes you, Kays and Dikes and Bies too

Whole Ring, whole Coalition knows that Raplist's allegation ain't true Throwing a towel, George, you are through, I got a subpoena now I'm being sued Wait, what? I'm being sued? Literally the millisonic, fuck, 20 million shit Oh, it's for 400 million shit Getting to feel like a podcast guy, Kaskan Fizz me up with the six of private, Firmative, not everything in this world

is subset of a box and everyone in this world getting super mad, ox. I was gonna do the fast part, but I think I need a lawyer now, like for real. I'm gonna go do that. I'm gonna go get a lawyer. That's better than Kevin Landau. All right, bye. I'm leaving Kevin Landau. All right, bye.

I'm leaving now, bye. All right, all right, all right, all right. Thank you, thank you, thank you, Alan. Let's get a, let's get some news. Let's get that Facebook news. Hello, Dick and hello, Dick ads. This is the Facebook group news for the last couple days. Ian Eisenberg wanted to know if he was the only degenerate who

shapes their private regions and their face using the same razor. To many dickheads surprise, this was an overwhelming 16 to 1 ratio in favor of using the same razor. Dickhead said it's totally fine, but you just got to make sure you shave your face first, because not many users within the group are willing to buy to separate razors. What happens to the next time users within the group are willing to buy to separate razors. What happens to the next time the decision within the Facebook group nearly 400 dickheads casted their votes and what would be one of the most important decisions they have ever had to make. As versus cans. Yeah. Some

voters were upset by the exclusion of hips, thighs and vagina. And the last the final votes are in the vagina cans with 166 votes and As with 208 James bar correctly pointed out that although everything is a contest not everything has a winner Finally, we will end with Mike Colbert who for the past Mark has been posting updates regarding his receptionist at work Which we previously covered on the digital facebook group news to summarize the receptionist had a panic attack after a wheel in her chair jammed

action appointment time and then told the client on the phone to stop wasting her time with stupid questions book deployments throughout an entire week were said agent's on vacation then when having to call these clients back forwarded all the calls to our boss and hidden the bathroom speaking of bathroom she has used that space to cry and shit simultaneously multiple times fought with a deaf guy who was forced to speak against his will lastly has been recently reassigned at the shredding room where she will shred paper and stay the hell off the phone and

hopefully she gets lovely she's making my cobert the phone and hopefully she gets, hopefully she falls in. Making Mike Colbert the new receptionist. Jesus. This says, bet in the Dixiel Facebook group news for the last couple days. Let me see if Captain Jackass is there. Hey, Captain Jackass, are you there? Hey, Dick. Hey, when you, great news, buddy,

when you say shave their pubes and their face, are you talking about clippers or with a razor? Yeah. Well, that would be people's personal preference. I do use an automatic razor, but I'm sure some of the gentlemen in the group would probably use the old shaving cream, but I, you know, they'd have to... They'd beck it. Specify that.

They'd beck it, do you think? They'd beck their junk in there, beck like a disposable razor blade. Maybe... I personally don't do that. That's a little too risky for my liking, but I'm sure there are people that do that. Okay. Let's have an investigation. Uh-huh. For you. Yeah, I'll figure it out for you to do that. That's a little too risky for my liking, but I'm sure there are people that do that. Okay, let's have an investigation. Yeah, I'll figure out. Facebook news. That would be great. Who in here is so degenerate that they are shaving their pubes entirely? Well, a lot of people wanted to specify that they do clean it.

And I mean, there were people that tried to justify it, but I really think people are just too lazy and cheap to buy another razor. That's really what it came down to. You know, I found that, I found that women who like it or don't like it is a grab bag. Yeah, that one that prefer it trimmed or not at all. Yeah. And in fact, don't like it. Oh, trim. Do you, Sean, take the weed whackers to that bush you got going down in there?

Well, yeah, there's like, there's maintenance. I don't, don't use a razor or anything though. You use clippers. Clippers, like a, yeah, like, you know, you get a little mustache, there's nothing stuff. Yeah, mustache. Not me. Yeah, no.

No, 70s. Yeah. Yeah. The way God intended it. Yeah. Nice. Yeah. Okay.

Thank you. I would appreciate that. Any other, any other news items we need to get from facebook shan uh... what happened to the fight the stove fight well stov's been missing for about a week or two he posted a picture on instagram of him and a construction outfit holding signs and we haven't heard from sense uh... i have heard from him he went on jamey lin he uses instagram and asked her what her dad like and said she has nice shoes

and then her dad came on the thread and said that her dad is, he said he's like, he's armed and he rides a motorcycle. Oh, shoes are made of leather. Something like that and he goes, thank you for your service. Her dad's a veteran. He rides a motorcycle, anywhere's leather shoes and he goes, thank you for your service. He got the answer, he's looking for. I've never seen somebody backtrack out of a attempt to hit that barely. All right, man,

I really love your news segments. Thanks for doing it. Thank you. What makes you rage? So this is a little rough, but when you're out to eat at Wendy's or Bird King, you want to be left alone, and you're there usually just to quickly get something

and get out. I've gone to Bird King, Wendy's in bird king, you want to be left alone and you're there usually just to quickly get something to get out. Yeah, I've gone to bird king Wendy's in Taco Bell and they have They hire on some people with disabilities, you know, we're tired of autistic and they're sweeping around and then they come up to you and they're just talking nonsense and I do Look if I'm on the street. I'll be nice to you. I'll be nice to anybody, but I'm trying to eat in the other day in Wendy's The I don't know what you want to call him the custodian comes up to me and she's like Well, your birthday November oh my birthday Oh my god cool, you know, I'm just trying to eat and get out of there. I got to deal with that bullshit. So that's what makes me Yeah, yeah, yeah

deal with apples, shit. So that's what makes me. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Come on. Yeah. Yeah. It's just necessary. We're all everybody listening right now is making the same face. Yeah. Dick and I. I know it's a fucking annoying. But I can't go to the manager and tell him, hey, can you please get that person to stop talking to me? Because you're not that big of a shithead. Well, yeah. But also they're making money by employing those people. Like I'm I suspect that they're getting some kind of a, oh, because there's some pro guy, but yeah, to give those, to give people with disability jobs and it's like, look, motherfucker, I would like a share of that because I just did your fucking job for you. I was nice. I listened. I said when my birthday was get I want to cut send me a fucking cut Well, there's only so much that Betty. Excuse me. There's only so much they can sweep in a you know

However big the Taco Bell or when he's is it's just really redundant and you know what through losing money Because it makes me not want to go in there and have to deal with that crap Yeah, you're you're not wrong Yeah, I'm jackass. Yeah All right, man Have a good one Yeah, you two thanks. Thank you Jackass. All right, man. Have a good one. Yeah, you two, thanks. Keep on, keep on, keep on, keep in the news.

The news hot. Oh, I wanted to ask him a few, wait, let me get a gun. Yeah, I see. Hey, Captain Jackass, do you have any news experience or is this a new thing for you? No, I've never done anything like this in my life. I just, you know, I love your delivery. I'm sorry, go ahead, John. Oh, no, I'm sorry. I've jumped right in.

It sounds professional. I love your delivery. It's, but it, it sounds like a news guy, but it's almost like Kent Brockman on the, yeah, you know, like it's the, but it's always the end, like the end of a joke, you know, the like the, and then the man said, if I had known it was that kind of party, I'd have stuck my dick in the mashed potatoes back to you. Yeah, it does sound like that. It's great. You know, it's just all this crazy stuff on Facebook and you just have to treat it, like

if you treat these crazy things on Facebook with respect and professionalism, the joke right itself. Yeah, it does. Yeah, very good. And your audio sounds really good now, by the way. Yeah, my audio and the hookets. This is a big stuff from this microphone. I got it with a pop filter and everything.

Sounds great. Which way did you vote in the Titzer S contest? I voted for S. Yeah, I'm starting to see the light. I get it. I get it now. I'm maturing a little bit, I think. It's just like, well, that's a real gun to your head conversation too.

Oh, it was, it was, it was same hide that changed my mind. Yeah. When Sam hide said, well, to that's right. spaghetti are like eggs. I'm like, hmm, yeah, a little bit. But he also said, they also said most, the US government, though. He also said most, most, yeah, a little bit, man. But he also said that he also said most to the US government. He also said most women have, you know, have their ass is good. Like, yeah, he also- Yeah, he also- Something to have a fact, right? It's like, well, it's very generous.

You know. There's a lot of bad asses out there. I don't need to quote him on everything. Yeah, yeah, yeah. All right, man, take it easy. You should. So, yep. I would like to see some more hard-hitting investigations.

Who shaves it all completely? Somebody does. Or somebody's recently had crabs. Yeah. These are the kind of things we uncover. Okay, here we go. I'm still peeved about the whole popcorn thing. Man, you can't get a good can like, can fill a popcorn, even like the best, you know, AMC

or whatever they feed or whatever they'll, you know, generic, synoplex. I don't know. You can't get good popcorn. And, you know, the biggest travesty of the whole thing is you can see them brewing it. They're boiling popcorn right there, it's coming over the side. Like a delicious beer that some shake did not have for. Yeah. And you never get any of it.

You see your crown to get the popcorn and you rise, go thermo. You can tell where the hot popcorn is and you know she's not going there. So cool. No. It's a flashback. She's over at Cole's, bail stuff. That's the thing. That's the trash bags. Every time. Every time they fuck you at the popcorn. I'll ask him for the fresh stuff.

Yeah. So that they have to, they have to totally, visually disobey me, you know, on the earth where I can see it. Yeah. Get it over to that cold side. You see how you dug the popcorn out of the very bottom? Yeah. Like you wanted the stinkiest clothes in the hamper.

That's the opposite of what I wanted. Do it again. Do it like you're gonna eat it. You fucking idiot. Yeah. Do it like you're gonna do it. What do you want? What would you eat?

What would you eat? What have you just given me? You've given me horse food. And you're, it's still bad popcorn. Yeah. It's right. Movie theater popcorn, it sucks. I don't know what it changed. Everybody went to the cheap shit or whatever,

but I don't know. Maybe when you're a kid, you think everything's better anyway. It was always shit probably. I don't know. Everything's always been shit. I eat a lot of popcorn. Yeah.

I might know more about the taste and mouth feel of popcorn than anything else. Really? Yeah, you're right. That's a whole statement. I've pushed my home popcorn making toward the movie popcorn. Is that right? I want the movie popcorn, yeah, to more closely resemble my home popcorn. Yeah. Well, you know what I'm saying? Yeah. Real butter, not that slime. No, that popcorn oil is slime. Yeah. It's disgusting. Garbage.

Come, put a, put a toe, put a, a vending machine there. Yeah, put in a quarter and get a squirt of real fucking butter. We don't have to feed each other chemicals. We don't have to feed each other placeboes. Yeah. Let's just have a society where we're not feeding each other placeboes all day and night. You want some butter on that popcorn?

Well, here's some oil that you might think is butter. Why don't you go fuck yourself? This is what you feed a dog. It's got a little picture of a cow on the front of it. There's no meat in there. It's just chalk, saw dust, and other dogs. Don't do that to me. Don't call it artificial butter.

It's slime. Butter flavoring. God. Disgusting. He's right. He's right, and they always pull the little grits on the bottom. Hm. Fucking assholes. You're a fucking rage, I give you a fucking rage, right?

It's motherfuckers who fucking argue with basic logic and basic science. Talking to someone about, you know, all the opathy is bullshit and why the delusions of their medications don't even contain a single molecule so there's no physical weight they can have any effect and they're telling me hey you know what you can't prove that you fucking can't because absolute fucking logic damn it fuck okay I think he's having an argument with somebody and then himself the bathroom and recorded that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then walked out, oh, so everybody time to have some

order, everybody ready for the main course. Yeah. And then he goes in the bathroom and calls the show. These fucking idiots, Ron, what are you doing in there? Nothing, sweetie. Dic, these fucking wife and a fucking home homey opposite thing, this stupid bitch got 19 vials of

supplements or filth of water. That's what he's gonna have to molecule. Fucking water. Says the water has a memory. Hey, Tamako here. Another thing that makes me a rage. Mission Torchias that stick to each other in the package. You paid for this and you're getting this luck of the draw

where every now and then, fuck it, maybe 60% of the time will just wind up with a shredded bullshed because they think we're each other. A ruined two ruined tortillas. And you get out of a lot of 20s. They shred apart because they're glued together. You should have been more careful.

Fuck you, mission. All right, see you next Tuesday. They do do that. Yep, they do spike the pack. And then every time you open it, you're dreading that there because you know that something happened that made those sticks together. Yeah. In that pack, they got to wet. Something happened with something happened. They were stored in an improper area. Yeah. Yes. Yes. Yeah. Good happen. Uh, dick makes me a rage being socially awkward. I just saw biggest characters I've ever seen in my life. I've ever seen in my life. This girl walks by and I don't mean like, oh, they were like massive and saggy. I mean like, whoa, no reason to shame.

Like, they were like too balloon on her chest. I'm ordinarily an ass man. She had like no ass. It didn't matter. they were so good they rewired my preferences I just walking by so doesn't even know the fact and I feel like I was anyone else I could have like talked to her and I did not seen her on campus before. I don't even know if I'll see her again. I hope so.

See you next time. Bye. That's a rough. That's a rough feeling to swallow. Forever. You know, could have done, I could have been contender with those tits. Yeah, I mean,

there's a lot of things that have to happen, you know, between, but you're, it's none of them are, you gotta happen if you don't talk to them. If you don't talk to them, you gotta be in it to win it is what you're saying. Yeah. That's up to you.

A man nice shoes, throw your hat in the red. That's a good one. We did it. That's up to you. A man nice shoes. Throw your hat in the right. That's a good one. We did it. That's another good one. We did it. Just randomly. We did it. We did it.

Look at us. We did it. We did it. Uh huh. Then you just, you got to think of something eventually. Yeah. You know what I'm saying?

Whether it's whatever works for you. Like then it's all about what you look like. Like, do you look like a fucking weirdo? That's then you're gonna have to take a weirdo. Yeah. Track. What does she look like? Where are you? You're gonna take it in another direction.

But nice shoes, nice shoes. It's a good one. We did it. We did it. Look at us. Here we, look at us. Here we are. We did it. Look at us. Here we, look at us. Here we are. We did it.

Look at us. Try it. Try that. Anything's better than nothing. You want to see my pugs. Better than nothing. Yeah. Just have, pick something that you're going to say before you're in that situation.

Because when you're in this situation, your mind's mush. Yeah. Your mind's working against you. So you need to go to your training bag. Yeah. You know, you have exactly. Yeah. Reflex memory.

Exactly. What you train. There's something in there. Look at those fucking petition signing people. Look at the way they wrote people in. Is there basically doing the same thing? Hey, do you care about women learning how to code? Nope.

Yeah, but they work on people. Yeah, they do. You wanna get to where you're going, if you're at school. Hey, you wanna get to class a little faster? It doesn't matter if it's a lie. Whatever, whatever. Could those motherfuckers

that make you sign the petition, right? Yeah. Do you care about dating, do you care about celebrating women today? Me too. Mm-hmm. There you go. You're done.

You threw that initial, whatever you say in that first initial awkward thing doesn't matter. Doesn't matter. Hey, I got great, hey, I have great news. That'll stop anybody. Oh, and I like your shoes. I just got great news. Oh, on the lottery.

Well, you won the lottery how much? Seven bucks. Can I buy you half a beer? How about, how about, when is your birthday? Yeah, when is your birthday? Yeah. People can't avoid this shit. Yeah, especially if you were to have a burger king, Wendy's or Taco Bell. Yeah, Captain Jackass. Everything is wrong with that. Whatever you think is wrong with you, more things were wrong with the janitor that's a costume Captain Jack has.

He still sits there and answers a fucking question. Right, don't sweat it. Don't sweat it so much. Hey, when's your birthday? Me too. Me too. That's the me too movement. Yeah.

Ah, such a bad feeling though. I wish you could fix it, but. You gotta say something. Something positive. Don't write the whole story in your opening line. Yeah, just an opening line. Call me Ishmael. Then you can talk about the whale.

Right? Yeah, call me Ishmael. Yeah, okay. I'm into that. Let there be light. Doesn't talk about wiping Palestine out and establishing as I in a state in the Middle East yet. Well, I think it's...

All right, get to that later. You know, you don't need to make it about your dick right away. You don't need to make it about who's getting fucked right away. Let there be light. I think it's in the beginning. Wait, is it what? In the Bible? Does the Bible in the beginning?

Now, man, let there be light is a book. Well, that's a strong opener. Yeah, but it's not the very first sentence. I think it's the title. The Bible's just in quotes, like rock and man. Right. a strong opener. Yeah, but it's not the very first sentence. I think it's the title. The Bible is just in quotes. Like rock and man, I think is going to be a long, long time. Let me see.

Actually, you might be fucking right. But I think that it's been re-translated or more correctly translated, and the opening sentence is not near as eloquent. As what? The original Hebrew version? Well, no, as the, well, the original original yeah uh how the fuck do I read the bible online I bet nicknose it i think that king james bible says in the beginning there was heaven what is it you're right it says in the beginning was the word and the word was

with god and the word was god that's terrible that's even a it's even a different translation than i know was with God and the word was God. That's terrible. That's even a different translation than I know. That may be the latest and greatest. Well, where's the let there be light come in? Well, that's, well, in God's it let there be light and there was light. And then God divided the light from the darkness,

you know what I mean? He created day and night. That's a dog whistle to the KKK if I've ever heard of him. Yeah. All right, I don't know the Bible as much. Anyway, look, that's what you do. Tell the whole story in the first line. Hey, Dick, I'm going to take the Pittsburgh.

What's up? You know what makes me a fucking rage? This goddamn fucking fish holocaust, we have to live through every fucking Friday in my town. Fish holocaust every Friday during when? In Pittsburgh? What? Oh, actual fuck. The late the late friday's I get it all right I live in a town with a high concentration of like those weird you cranium and Hungarian Catholic they give up me and a shitload of Romanian Catholics why the fuck do

they all think their wick of Jesus cares about whether or not they're eating fish every Friday? Hey, it would be Different if it was good fish, but 10,000 people in one town don't eat good fish You don't keep cook 10,000 of a good thing. It just doesn't fucking happen. So every Friday night for a Month and a half I got to deal with this fucking fish cloud Over my entire city and it's you know because I got all these weird All those dirty eastern blockers Posca bread pocket fucking paroties and onions

hockey, fucking paroties and onions, nothing but this fucked up religious food all goddamn day for an entire day. Think it's everywhere. And every restaurant is just like, oh come in for our fish specials. Well what the fuck else do you have? What the fuck well? We turn a filler fridge with cod. I mean, do want steak from yesterday. I don't know.

It eliminates possibility of going out. It's just shit's fit. I don't fucking want fish. I'm not that big a fan. Like, give me a good, like, sheer steelhead steak. And then maybe we're talking. Okay. Dude.

Yeah. These fucking people just love to care about what the hell's a man in the sky has a meeting every friday but then they go right back to doing whatever degenerate shit they were doing and you can't even make a mad by doing some funny like cooking stakes in the parking lot outside of church hey do that there's like a hey you gonna be back for Sunday Mass like if you do the fucking enough a year ago on the side for it. God damn it. Just get mad. Get mad. Say that. Say that one for tomorrow, buddy. Fuck.

Well, the show guys, go fuck yourselves. Thanks. Yeah, you get to have you need some God's planning, Dick. Uh, I think I think the chat said, yeah, the first line of the Bible is not let there be light. Little, little more, little dollar than that for my tastes. Yeah, the first lines in the beginning, the one you were reading was from first John. It was the beginning of John. And if you want, I could go into all sorts of translation. But yeah, were you not even in Genesis? Dick. Sean, I was on Google. All right. All my everything is my, my references are Google search.

Okay. Yeah. So what's the problem with the translations you were going to say? It was different. So you read in the beginning was the word God. Well, dude, your internet, your internet's all messed up. Oh, just it was actually my angle of the, okay, sorry. But you were reading in the beginning was the word, the word was with God, but the actual great term is logos, which is a much more robust discussion about communication in general than just like the word.

And you're talking, you're talking John, right? Yeah. Yeah. Okay. We were talking John. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, because Greek being the original language of the new testament, correct? Right.

And where Hebrews, the original language of the Torah, which became the Old testament, correct? Right. As where he brews the original language of the Torah, which became the Old Testament. You know, logos was the name of the evil quantum leap verse, computer, like Ziggy was Sam Beckett's computer, and logos was the evil one of Ziggy. So then is there a deep theory that Ziggy is Satan then trying to undo God's good work? No, it was the other way.

They were saying like Sam in the last episode, he basically became an angel. He basically became highway to heaven at the end of quantum leap. You're a major Sam. Michael Landon, yeah. He was quantum leap except God sent him around. Yeah, that's true.

They just put technology on it. Well, technology is the new God, right? Yeah. So there we go. All right, man, thank you for the explanation. Yeah, talk to you later. One more. I thought there was some fucked up translation. You weren't even in the, you weren't even in the beginning of the Bible, God, damn it. That's crazy that two, uh, two books start with in the beginning, though. Yeah. I didn't know John started with in the beginning though. I didn't know John started with in the beginning.

Maybe they all start like that. No. Because weren't they writing them to be their own thing? No, they weren't writing them as a compilation album. Well, they're writing their own books. Yeah, but yeah, so I guess the likelihood of in the beginning would go up then. I mean, if you're... Everybody wants, everybody wants.

Because they're all jockeying to be the first one. So they all slide it in there, right? It's where it's home. Start with, call me Jesus. And actually, my starts with before the beginning. Yeah. So, my starts with long time ago, in the galaxy far away.

In the beginning of the beginning. Pre-ing beginning. My starts with, well, the first thing you got to know, that's the first thing, he's got to go up front. Like, fuck. Right. It's like in spinal tap where they were the originals, but then there was another band called the original,

so they rename themselves the new originals. The originals. Okay, last one. Hey, Dick. John from Florida here. So I know this is the line where people usually call in for the rages and I really have a rage. I'm calling just to the fact that last night after seeing that fucking Maddox admittedly on a court fucking document.

Yeah. Just told everybody that you are. Yeah. I don't care if you don't play this on the show. I'll just be that satisfied if it's just you listening to this. There we go. Because I can't type enough to express my frustration on the matter. He is doing new in his career and a bunch of other fucking people for half a billion dollars and now

he just lied on a fucking court document. How I don't understand how he moves on and anybody believes him whatsoever with anything and makes sense now why How I don't understand how he moves on and Anybody believes him whatsoever with anything and make sense now. I rock the left Because you start figuring out all this shit with that actually probably started seeing like oh shit. This guy's fucking crazy Well that would be mine. Yes He just committed per I think about that. Oh, yeah, I don't know how this loss. It's gonna I love it's it's just speculating joke and now it's becoming even more of a joke and I really hope everything goes well for you and Asturios and I can't see

Maddix winning this not after that not after that. I mean what's the first rule being a criminal? I'm no criminal But I would assume it's not telling on yourself Yeah, we have a man. Well, he went deep. Yeah. I hope everything goes well for you guys over there. But I've never seen such idiocy in my life. Yeah. Until I had to talk to you. Don't fuck yourself. Well, he went, he went with the route of I didn't do it. I didn't do it. I didn't do it. Well, I did it, but it was for a good reason. That's what mental Jess said in court before she got hit with a restraining order.

Yeah. I did do, I did make those calls. Stop, but it's, yeah, stop. That's what the fucking judge said. Yep. Doesn't matter. Not allowed. Those two should get married as quickly as possible. Oh, they're the same. Yeah. But just speculating on Rukka, I would think that, um, I would think that he's like, this is getting a little too fucking crazy. And this isn't gonna end. And I don't want this is just, yeah, it's, I don't want to accidentally get my brand tied to this in case. Well, that's the thing. You get that's just if you're around people who wallow in shit, you're going to get a little splashed on I can't really, I can't really, I can't really, I can't really, I can't really, I can't really, I can't really, I can't really, I can't really, I can't really,

I can't really, I can't really, I can't really, I can't really, I can't really, I can't really, I can't really, I can't really, I can't really, I can't really, I can't really, I can't really, I can't really, I can't really, I can't really, I can't really, I can't really, I can't really, I can't really, I can't really, I can't really, I can't really, I can't really, I can't really, I can't really, I can't really, I can't really, I can't really, I can't really, I can't really, I can't really, I can't really,

I can't really, I can't really, I can't really, I can't really, I can't really, I can't really, I can't really, I can't really, I can't really, I can't really, I can't really, I can't really, Eventually, the only thing people ask is what you won't answer. And he could never talk about that. Rocket could never, like that's why he won't, I mean, he won't come in the show because there's no point. Like, all I'm going to do, we all know what I'm going to do if Rocket comes on the show. Of course. No matter what I tell him, I'm going to just, I'm just going to get him to say shit

about Maddox. Like, there's no reason for him to ever, as fun as it would be, like if he was a fun guy, he would do it because he wouldn't care. But people are not fun. Well, yeah. And also, he probably doesn't want to deal with being sued. Yeah. I mean, there's that. There is that. But it's like this, it's this rule. This thing with people where if you don't talk about something, they will never stop asking about it. That's all they want to know.

Why? Because what they've, do you remember all the theories about why the show ended? Yeah. I mean, it's, yeah, because what you build up in your mind is far more creative and lurid than reality could ever be. And then people, although now I'm not so sure. And then people will start going, well, how come he's not answering those guys? I want to know what's all this thing here? And it builds and builds and builds until it's, it's all, let's all people talk about. It's true.

It's not going away. I mean, when this, when the lawsuit's, there's gonna be non-stop PR about it, I imagine. Yeah. The counter-suits are gonna be numerous. Oh, yeah. I cannot, I would be shocked if Maddox doesn't, goes, doesn't go after his lawyer for letting him sign that, at the bare minimum,

for letting him sign the admission to several crimes. Minimum. Asterios' career has been, let's say affected. Yeah, let's say harmed, to an amount that is easily, easily calculable. Yeah. The definition of, like everybody told me to sue after the rapeless video, I was like,

well, I got to show damages. That's the whole point of it. Well, that's, yeah. And getting like iced out of a comedy career isn't damages. In my stupid understanding, I don't even know what's first words of the Bible are. But having your job, Vucked With is definitely damages. Oh, yeah. As you can show exactly who the trajectory, or you can at least argue it in front of a judge.

Yeah. Who I think would see, yeah, they may come to a different amount, but it's probably, it exists. It does. And the only thing, and the only thing that would stop someone from pursuing something like that is that they don't have enough money to afford justice.

That was my next point. Let me say something. I have enough money to get a stereo's justice. Yeah. Yep. And there's nothing I would like more. Yeah. In fact, with somebody who,

money doesn't mean anything to, it does not, you know, not that I don't say bragging. Yeah. But, yeah. It's different. You have enough and you're not gonna have to move out of your house. No, you know.

That's the, yeah. A lot of people are not in that position. No. So you recognize that. Yeah. I know the difference between, I know the justice, I know, I know injustice has been served. Now, yeah.

And I want it. Yeah. I have developed a taste for it. Let's say, like a tiger that eats people. Yep. I got a little bit of, I'm getting a taste for it, and I want more. All right, everybody, thanks for listening.

Thanks for listening, that's the show. Yeah, that's the show for you. Thanks, see you next week. you