The Dick Show - Episode 97 - Dick on Big Red

Episode Date: April 10, 2018

The myth of blue blood, prostitution and Congress' continuing attempt to get in Lady Liberty's pants, what is simple battery, times I have been attacked by women, the LARPing bearded "badasses" of LA, Mumkey Jones the almost English teacher, playing baseball for the worst team in the world, Kevin from The Thought Cops, the time I was attacked by six housewives, a financial aid based cryptocurrency, and 80s Girl is assaulted by a drunken Caitlin Hall at the Seven Grand after an argument about Maddox's Lolsuit; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!

Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, Yeah! Ha! Ah! Welcome to Dick. You want to dig your new dick, you love dick. You got it. It's the show where everything is a contest coming to you live from a mountain bunker, deep in the heart of the city of failure. I'm your host Dick Masterson, the 20 million dollar man. Perhaps you've heard of me. With me is always a shawan. Audio engineer.

Hello, Dick. Hey, what's up, buddy? Joining us because I answer emails drunk sometimes is Kevin from the thought police thought cops Two different pockets. Damn it. I asked you before I asked you before and I made a note in my mind to say it properly It's the thought cops because somehow they're dirtier than the thought police. We get dirty. I feel like the thought police are there to protect and serve. The thought cops are like, oh, these cock suckers are in.

We fuck around. We're there. Open to bribes. Open to thought bribes. Open to compliments. That's what the thought cops take is bribes. And this is a podcast you have with, man's grooney. Grant Mooney, that's right.

Grant Mooney, I fucked that one up And you can get it at where thought thought cops cop thought cops cop's dot net iTunes Google play dot net Yeah, I know Cheap and shitty To be fair a month ago it was thought cops die WordPress dot com. So we're moving up Yeah, okay to go out with thought cops, I WordPress.com. So we're moving up. Yeah. Okay. Um, well, thanks for coming. Thanks for having me. Kevin emailed me. Okay. I'm going to be an LA. Thanks for letting Grant call in and plug the show. Come on.

Actually, yeah, there's my address. Oh, you don't know where I live. Just go look at the fucking lawsuit because everything is a look at my phone, everything, everything. Come on. You host. Come watch me set up equipment for an hour and curse silently like an old man till I get a magical beer in my hand. All right, Kevin, don't fuck up my show.

Yes, sir. That's the only thing I'm gonna ask of you. It's for your own protection. I don't want, I don't want Reddit. I don't want there to be a new Clegg ever. Oh God, I want everyone to be nice to you. That'd be nice, that'd be nice. For your own protection.

That's why I'm saying it, thanks for coming in. I hope you have a rage prepared. I do, I do. Okay. God, busy week. Very busy week, I was on my low again. Oh you were for an hour, I do. Okay. Um, God, busy week. Very busy week. I was on Milo again. Oh, you were for an hour.

No kidding. Yeah, he had me on for an hour. Did you say like 10 words? No, it was, you know, it was, it was very strange speaking with Milo because it's like he goes on and extended soliloquy and then I will go on and it's like an opera, but angry Republicans, like angry conservatives. That's how you communicate with him, I think. I don't know, but he's very, he's very fun. I like him very much and he texted me afterwards. Oh, yeah. Yeah, you're not texting based. I'm going to text him And he's married. And we all know that how much I respect the bonds

of matchable. So maybe you better watch it. Like, who's ever Milo's wife is, whoever he's with. Yeah. Might give him a ride home. Mm. Yeah. That should be out Wednesday.

It's always a throwback going on other shows because the only immediately everyone wants to talk about men and men and women. And it shows because you know, the only, immediately, everyone wants to talk about men and men and women. And it's like, well, what are, well, what are, and what ways are men better than women? And I'm like, fuck, I gotta really, I know I used to have pattern for this. Well, blast from the past.

Yeah, 10 years ago today, in fact. Really, yeah. What the, it was published. No kidding. And the better one was published. 10 years ago, today, April 8th. Wow. Wow. So I think I'm gonna slap, not say for women up today, What that it was published. No kidding. And the other one was published. Today, April 8th, this is Sunday. Wow.

So I think I'm going to slap, not say for women up today, for pre-order. Ah. I'm probably get that ready in maybe two months. Wow. Two or three. Mr. Fancy Pants sent me a logo for the cover. Oh, yeah.

Yeah. And you know, Mr. Fancy Pants is a great. Yeah. He does great design work. Oh, yeah. He designed the Fancy Pans is great. Yeah, he does great design work. Oh, yeah, he designed the original cover. So now I'm very excited to get it up and get it out there. I think I have not saved for women.com.net. Classy.

Because it's clear. One maybe one day, you'll get a.com of your own. I hope to have a.fun, actually. Yeah, she get it.fun. That's a stereo's has a science friction dot fun. Yeah. Yeah. It's a. Yes, the market corner on dot fun. Yeah domains. Yeah. Um, let's see. That happened. Mady's girl was assaulted. Did you know about that? Uh, yeah. Uh, I got, but I guess technically it's battery. You know, I'm so confused about that.

So here is what I've learned. Here's what I've groct from it. Assault can be like if you're yelling at somebody, like, Sean, you better get your ass here on time. But threatening in a way, right? It's bearing down on the... Assault is the fear that's induced from... Yeah, and battery is if you contact them period.

Really? Yeah, because like shoving, touching, throwing something on someone, spitting on some, for the very simple reason that these are crimes because if they weren't, everyone would go around doing them all day. Oh, yeah. Every, everyone you ran into, slight disagreement, you just start spitting on them, throwing drinks at them, throwing out, like throwing out the, we don't, we grow out of this.

You watch children on a playground trying to box each other out, you know? Like a child will never just rear back and punch another kid like Mike Tyson, you know, like a little Mac and punch out. It'll never go like, wah, wah, wah, and then nail him. That's rare.

What's much more common is for them to get the thing and then just start throwing secret elbows. That's violence. Like this is this, there's this weird shortcut in the mind where we're like, I wanna fuck with this person, but I can't fucking start punched, you know. Wob, Wob, Wob, take them out. But I am okay with just giving them a little,

which makes no fucking sense because it's the same. Yeah. Right? Yeah. Like, I'm gonna, I'm gonna fucking hammer this, I'm gonna start hammering this guy until I can get in a nice old fashion. I'm gonna, I'm gonna start setting up the circumstances where I'm the victim, where I'm the fucking victim, like always,

but I'll get into that later. Yeah, that's a little foreplay. Yeah, it's so upsetting. It's so upsetting. And I'm jealous because it never happens to me. Yeah, no one ever takes a swing at all, at all dick mass. Well, except for like a gaggle of moms.

That's true. Yeah. That's true. Yeah. That's true. I'm no stranger to people camping out outside of wherever I am and then launching at me. Anyway, we'll get to that.

I'll tell you what makes me rage this week. Excuse me. I'll just put it on there. Backpages been confiscated by the FBI. Do you know about that? I did not. You know, backpages. I do not. There's a website where you can go to buy hand jobs. Oh, no big deal. Rest in peace. It's gone. Yeah. Should we call it like handjobs.net? You know, there's a there's a rub maps. Dot fun. So what is that?

Rub maps? Yeah, there's an app called Rub maps. It's like, it's like Yelp for getting jerked off. Wow. Like you can go. It's handjobs only? Well, yeah. And what's this site?

Yeah, because there's a difference. Like, you know, a classy gentleman can go get jerked off. Yeah. For, for 50 bucks at a, at a massage parlor. That's no, that's much different than like hiring a prostitute. Yeah. So yes, it's only, it's hand jobs. I'm sure that, you know, you can start bartering once you get in the door. Yeah, but it's designed for hand and the,

the best part about I discovered this on a bachelor party. One of the one of the groom's friends. We're all sitting around talking about guns or something loading guns one of the groom's friends just goes well I gotta go get a hand job. Yeah, I'm like okay, what are you what are you talking about? Yeah loads up his rub maps and scoots around, checks out the reviews like Yelp. Like he said, we were down in San Diego. We've never been there before. All right, this is the one. He leaves and we're all, you don't know what I've ever seen this app before. He comes back grinning like the Cheshire cat. All right. Like how are you? He's like, yeah, he's got a sick, he had a sick Bulgarian accent. He's like, well, I like it. Very good.

When you just need a handy, you're going through, like you read the reviews and these people all have this like, this secret code for everything. Like CC BBGs, the CBGBs were incredible. Whoa. Talk to Anika about the BB uh, the BBY experience. Like what the fuck? I don't know.

It's like a whole subculture. Wow. Extinguished. It's gone. It's gone because it's now illegal. We're a felony or federal crime or whatever to, uh, post ads or allow ads to be posted advertising prostitution of any kind for the kids. It's for the children.

Of course. Everything's for the children. Yeah, it's for the children. That's why we can't have the simple service of buying a hand job anymore. This is the, it is America's long courtship of a woman that doesn't exist, where we are constantly sacrificing shit to this woman in hopes that she will, in hopes that she will fuck us. It's the woman, lady Liberty, that stands with the torch up in the air.

We're just constantly trying to get her to jump off of the off of her stand and jerk us all off by by white nighting and virtue signaling for all the uh oh, man, uh, my lady, don't worry, this is how much we respect women. We're not letting themselves sell their bodies anymore. Will that, will that do it for you every fucking year? We go worship at the altar of this woman who is never going to fuck us ever. She's never going to get her iron ass off of that pedestal and put out period. But we still copper ass off of that stand and put out. Never will she put out. And all of Congress, our entire country,

is acting like, so one day we're gonna figure out the magical law that's gonna cause her to suck our collective dicks. Hmm. Fucking sucks. I guarantee you that whole concept, you just put forth has never been put forth before because that's what it's so fucking obvious when you look at like the what how

these guys talk about protecting women and stopping human trafficking. It's like who the fuck are you trying to impress? You're clearly trying to impress some mythical beta Beatrix woman that you desperately want, like that will fill some piece of, because none of it makes any sense. None of it makes any sense. The, here's the quotes from the cops in charge of like human trafficking. When Backpage was running adult ads, we used it to get tips, but that has dropped off and makes it more complicated for us to figure out what's going on. No, we just used it to get handy. Yeah.

Now, what do you do now to look for underage sex workers? Just kind of walk around and keep our fingers crossed. What'd you do before? Just sit at a desk. Oh, wow. Sounds, and you could have just everyone sit at a desk and look at the one fucking place that it all went through. Yeah, pretty much. Why would we want that? Why would we want that? Hey, I got an idea. Let's devote a bunch of resources to putting together a database

of these sex workers and child traffickers so we can stop them. Okay, how do we get there? Well, we've got to shut down the giant database of sex workers and child traffickers first no, we can stop them. Oh, okay, how do we get there? Well, we've got to shut down the giant database of sex workers and child traffickers first. Then we'll build, we'll build our own. Don't worry, it'll be, don't worry. We have to pay for all the people building it, and it'll take forever. But it's not our money.

But it's not, but it's here. I mean, you don't understand this is for, this is for this giant copper woman to come down off the pedestal and fuck, if we do this, she'll fuck us. The fever dreams of this giant statue coming to life. This has gotten weird quickly. Yeah.

I'm into it. It's so aggravating to me that prostitution is not allowed period and that we're shutting down. Like even the way we find the way life finds a way, right? Life will find, you know, guys will find a way to pay for sex. Well, yeah. It's like if you want to get fucked up,

you'll find a way to get fucked up. Yeah. And then we just find new and innovative ways to shut it down. I never thought I would see the day when Back Page was confiscated by the FBI. Well, and a guy's house, the owner of Back Page was, how long has it been online? I don't know. Long time. It used to be just a stupid classified site.

It looks like garbage, so probably a long time. Why upgrade it if it serves the purpose, you know, who cares what it looks like or whatever, as long as it functions, right? Yeah, as long as you can get your fucking hand job off of it, who cares? It's worrisome. It's worrisome to me, I don't know why.

90% of the site's income was attributed to adult ads. There you go, it's made me rage. We need like, I think we need some kind of national jiggle ode. Right? Like just sell services. Every man in America sells his hand job services. And I'll go a million bucks,

cost you a million bucks to get a hand job. It's that's a mad, isn't it? Yeah. That's an ad for prostitution, but that doesn't matter. It's like, ah, that guy's fucking around. Because it's a guy, and the lady liberty doesn't care if we defend men, it's just these broads that we've got to defend. That's not going to make her get off and fuck, because it's defending a bunch of guys.

It doesn't make any sense to me. We have no problem not renting cars to people who were under 25. So yeah, and they wanna drive. We built this whole system to verify ages. If only it were legal for prostitutes to just operate and use that system. We got these capture code just use the capture code, so it'll solve everything.

Yeah. Have them fill out the app, right, in front of them. Yeah. I don't know. That made me a rage this week. I tell you what else made me a rage this week. What color is, you guys close your eyes.

Everybody in the room close your eyes. Okay. When blood, you close your eyes too, Sean, you cheating asshole. When blood is in your body, raise your hand if you think it's blue. Nobody? It's red, right?

Believe so. Okay. I was busting 80s girls chops last weekend. We immediately stopped the show and we went camping. Yeah. I was busting 80s girls chops last weekend. We immediately stopped the show and we went camping. We did some medibles instead of talking about stupid eductions. Blue blood. Octopus have blue blood.

Yeah, and she lets it rip that she thinks blood is blue in your body. I've heard that rumor. Yeah, because of whether it's oxygenated or not. Yeah, that's what I had heard. So I go, man, I can't wait to, I can't wait to hammer you with this. I'm going to get, we're going to go back to my parents' house tomorrow and we're going to have a nice Easter dinner and then I'm going to drop. I'm going to do this fun experiment around the table.

Yeah. Thinking I was going to really, really get to do some mansplaining, right? I do the same thing. I had everybody sitting around and close their eyes. I'll raise your hand. Raise your hand if around, close their eyes. I raised your hand. Raise your hand if you think it's, right, you hey, get this. Hey, everybody raise your hand if you think it's blue.

Thinking that I would get the same reaction and nobody would raise their hand. Bucking everyone in my family throws their hands up. I say, are you guys, what the fuck are you guys talking about? Blue, every one of you thinks that blood is blue? Have you ever seen blue blood? Well, you know, it's right. It's blue until it hits oxygen. And then it's red. What about when it's in the tube? You've ever given blood care oxygen in there? Well,

I don't know. If it's outside of your body, like it's fucking mat, so little Irishman comes out and like, oh, thank God, A, what color is your blood? He goes red, out of your body, it's blue. I'm like, what the fuck are you talking? Maybe he's dyslexic. I had a 10 minute argument with this kid over whether or not blood is blue or not. Come here, let me, come here, let me,

give me that knife. Everybody's laughing. Let me show you. What are you, let me give me that knife. Everybody's laughing. What are you doing in this poor kid? Yeah. It's always red. So he thinks outside it's blue. They're interesting. Because his idiot family teaches him this shit.

Uh huh. And I gotta put up a pole or something. Yeah, I don't know if it's because, you know, you look through your skin and you see the veins or whatever. And it's like, oh, that must, I don't know if people think they're clear tubes or something and you're. Who the fuck, who the fuck knows every time you see it on TV red always the little things the little cells in your body red. Yeah, yeah, cuz, you know, spilling all over the, not a touch of blue, not even a hint of blue. Nowhere is it blue. It blew my mind.

I'm surrounded by people who think there's a bunch of blue coolade floating around in your body that magically hyper colors into red the second it leaves it. Like, well, what the hell else do you people think? I blame the schools. The kid didn't learn it from school. He learned it from home. Yeah, yeah. That's what made me worried about it.

Home schools doubly bad then. No shit. Yeah, I don't know. That human trafficking thing really bothers me. It's something you should. Where's the term blue bloods come from? Because your veins are blue because of the way the skin refracts light.

So people who didn't have to work in the field, like rich people would have very fair skin because they never outside. So you could see, you could see the blue, and that's fucking awesome that you know that. And because they're rich, they would have a lot of things made out of silver. A lot of their flat wear would be made of silver, so they would ingest so much silver that they would get that smurf thing where your skin would turn slightly blue.

Like they did a bunch of, they did several things that made them look blue. No shit. What the fuck? Are you just fucking around with that last part? No! That's true. I mean, it's not as true as the as the veins thing. That's smurf thing. We all know. The smurf thing we all, did you ever see that guy? I always see that guy.. No, that's true. I mean, it's not as true as the as the veins thing. That's smurf thing. We all know the smurf thing.

We all did you ever see that guy? I always see that guy. Yeah, where he took supplements of you. You haven't seen supplements. No, I haven't seen it. Oh, yeah, no, he's literally he's like a dark blue. Why? Because he ingested.

Is it silver or was it something else? He was taking silver as like a supplement. Yeah, he thought it would be like he thought it was healthy. You can buy that at Walgreens, right? Like silver supplements. He's like a bearded guy. He's been taking, he thought it would be like, he thought it was healthy. You can buy that at Walgreens, right? Like silver supplements? He's like a bearded guy. He's been, he's been eating the shit, gobbling the shit for like 20 years.

Pop a smurf. He does look exactly like, he's like a bluish purple. Yeah, he turned himself permanently blue, permanently blue and purple. And then he still says like, well, you know, at least the health benefits of the silver that I've been eating here, but there's no,

there's always a benefit obviously. I'm shocked and copper bracelets and that kind of shit. Because I'm just fucking idiot. There was a, there was this athlete in the 30s that used to say the same shit about radium. Oh, yeah. The golfer. Yes.

Yep. That's right. He poisoned himself. His jaw fell off. His jaw fell off. And also the, they call it Fossy jaw. Was his name Fossy? No, Fossorus. Fossorus, John. Because the, the radium girls, look up the radium girls. They were in the thirties. They were watch painters.

And I guess it's like white Fossorus, like Iridescent, they would paint, they would paint the watch dials with white phosphorus. And they would hold the, the, the brushes like in their mouth or something. Anyway, they ingested a bunch of them, you know, their jaws basically. Yeah, no, it's terrible. And they could have just used red phosphorus, which is not radioactyl. They could have put the brushes on the table too. Yeah, I was something. It wasn't quite as stupid as I'm making it, but it was still, you know, uh, it's funny. The other guy, the other guy's funny, they were saying it's a tonic. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You idiot. Yeah. What did you think you figured this out? Did you, you read about the guy?

I read about the guy. The thing that everybody else doesn't know. Yeah. He swore about it. that everybody else doesn't know. Yeah, he's swore by it. We need that to cut down on the crazy. Yes. We need to give people something that they they can hurt themselves with. No, they figured out on their own. Oh, like we've got to figure it out on their own.

Yes. Like something, I don't know what it is, but it's got to be like, like, you know, God bless us, but all of us managed to stick together and not tell children that Santa, uh, spoiler alert, is real, right? You know what I'm saying? I want to take the earbuds out of your five-year-old tan listening to the dick show. But somehow we did that. Like, even on TV, TV doesn't even fuck it up.

Like even on TV, they'll always at the end, it's like, oh wow, Santa was real. Yeah, I didn't turn out. The kid will say, like, oh, Dad, thanks for this. And he's like, I didn't get that. You did it. You said that off the screen. You know what TV is converting adults

into believing in Santa Claus? If anything, it's going that way. Sean, you're, that's probably real. What, that's common. Yeah. There's going to be a significant amount of adults that believe in Santa. You are so right about that.

That's, that's going to happen in 2019. Yeah. That's that's the prediction. That's the prediction. People are like, sure, lock homes is a real guy. Yeah, I'm sure. Anyway, we managed to do it for, yeah, he was a lead investigator on the Jack the

Ripper cases. Yeah. Right. Um, we got to do that something for something with people where they can all, they can all have something figured out. Yeah. And it's like they figured out, because otherwise they're just going to figure out stupid shit. That doesn't, that doesn't really, otherwise they start figuring out that vaccines cause autism.

Right. Too much time. We got to give them something good to figure out. It's true. I don't know what it is. I don't know what it is. It's fucked up other people. Like a lost, we've got to make like a lost civilization

or something. Yeah. There needs to be a bureau in charge of that. Like planet X. Man, remember when that shit was, remember when we were kids and was like, scientists are about to discover planet X. So exciting.

Yeah, like it, like Atlantis, but with more snazzy sounding facts. Yeah. You know, like to get people pulled in. Yeah. Otherwise they just make shit up, like flat earth. Yeah. Oh, well, I need to have discovered something. Right.

I have a quick recommendation. Look up on Twitter, there is a Homer Simpson themed flat earther account and it's run entirely in complete sincerity. And this guy does nothing but post these shitty memes of like Simpson's flat earth stuff. Yeah. And just like it's Simpson screenshots with like word bubbles of like Homer explaining

that the earth is flat to like mo or barter, something like that. Oh man, I love flat earth. How do they react? It's weird. Like they post like almost no response. The guy just like puts stuff stuff out every five minutes. He doesn't sleep.

Well, it's probably his two great loves, the Simpsons and the Flat Earth. Together at last. Yeah. Together at last. Campbell's got a good video about Flat Earth. He goes around, tries to get people to prove that the world is round.

Oh, really? Where's not a single one can? You can name. But I guess, I guess most people can't name any specific points that would lead one to believe that the earth is round. Yeah. Yeah.

That's what makes it so fun. All right, let me see what else I got here right, get to this fucking story. 20% of students are using their financial aid to buy cryptocurrency. Financial aid. Maybe, maybe, not that stupid. Well, we paid for it, Sean. So the 15 billion that we're giving over to these kids every year, they're immediately going and dumping it into cryptocurrency as an investment. and dumping it into cryptocurrency as an investment. Yeah.

At 19, 20, skip, we don't want to end that. Like I said smart. You use someone else's money. Everybody knows that. Exactly. You don't use your own money. They'll use your own money to buy crypto. Oh, awesome.

I mean, these kids aren't learning something. I mean, I don't understand how kids even, how like, don't I give them the benefit of the doubt? Kids that age would even, there's no concept of money for them to understand. Like if they're blowing financial aid on money that is not real, that has no value period using money that,

money based on credit that will never expire, that they're gonna be paying for the rest of their lives. Like what's the, what is the concept of money to them? It's worth nothing. It's nothing they could hold anymore. It just numbers shifting one way or the other. And who knows what makes them go up or down? There's no rhyme or reason to any of it.

Yeah. Stupid. Yeah. But stupid. Uh, yeah. Oh, that back page thing really pissed me off. I haven't recovered from that one yet. Well, you know, because, okay, because it's like, it kind of ties in with that YouTube shooter. You see her? Uh huh.

Last week, it was probably old news. But yeah. Like as soon as, as soon as that dropped, as soon as her motives became about the demonetization stuff, I was like, oh yeah, I get, did that surprise you at all? No, no, not a bit. That's what I was talking to some people at work about that.

I said, that appears to be the motive. I said, I'm not saying that's just cause. I'm saying that's completely understandable. I'm saying that fucking to be the motive. I said, I'm not saying that's, you know, just cause. I'm saying that's completely understandable. I'm saying that fucking with somebody's livelihood, they're in such a hurry to demonetize things and anything that could be mildly controversial. I don't know, you know, in her case, you know, what exactly what happened, but it's completely,

it's like, no, I couldn't be less surprised. No shit, you idiots. Like you've, you've made it a significant part of your business model to just shut people down. What did you think was gonna happen? Yeah. Like you remember how a percentage of people who can snap. Yeah, like you remember the shots of like old labor movements

and strike busters and you see these these grainy photos of like hard men beating the hell out of each other. Okay, that happened because they were not allowed to work. They weren't allowed to like serve what they saw as the function of their of themselves. Correct. Uh, what do you think's gonna fucking happen when you start doing that on a massive global cybernetics scale? You're fucking asking for it for no, for how much did you save?

How much money did you save demonetizing these people for bucks? This was, this was worth it to you guys. You fucking dummies. You keep you keep silencing people. More and more is labor becomes non-essential. Human labor becomes non-essential. Our entire existence is going to be about expression and entertainment. Expression. Self-expression. That's it. If you have nothing to do all day, what do you do? Either consume entertainment or you're making it, right? Yeah. Probably some hybrid of the two.

So somebody comes along and says, you're not doing that anymore. You're not participating in what you see as your core function. They're gonna fucking explode. Cause what else do they have? What the hell else do they have? Yeah, it didn't surprise me one bit.

No. And I also noticed that it was suddenly gone. Yeah. Not only was it suddenly gone, but like all of her accounts were deleted. All of that chicks accounts were deleted. Yeah, she did a bunch of like vegan videos or something on YouTube. Yeah.

Yeah. It was like bizarre like timonarex style sketches like about like veganism or something. Yeah. I figured it out. I think we're flagged for lured content. And I think that's what like trigger her to like do what she did. Yeah, lured for whom like the kids, imaginary people. Yeah, the kids watching the kids who can't press the yes,

I'm over 18 button. Like the kids, they're all done for the imaginary woman. They're all done to get lady liberty to crawl off the podium to give somebody a hand job. That's it, all of it. And every other reason is a lie. Like advertisers are gonna boycott if we don't do this. No, they're, how the fuck are they gonna advertise then?

We're they gonna staple pictures of the all new Buick to telephone polls in your neighborhood, they're gonna boycott YouTube. Are you fucking stupid? Nobody believes that shit. But they use it to do anything. Oh, well, we've got no choice. We've got to randomly turn these people into fucking lunatics.

Like the idea that a global hive mind, mind control machine doesn't know this, like the ignorant defense of YouTube saying, well, you know, how are we supposed to know? Because you know everything, that's why. Because you're able to somehow, because you're able to target ads to me over shit that I'm thinking. That's how.

Like I have a conversation in my car about needing new shoes and I come out here at it. And here it is. And I'm here at it. And I'm here at it. And I'm here at it. And I'm here at it. And I'm here at it. And I'm here at it.

And I'm here at it. And I'm here at it. And I'm here at it. And I'm here at it. And I'm here at it. And I'm here at it. And I'm here at it. And I'm here at it. And I'm here at it. And I'm here at it. And I'm here at it. And I'm here at it. psychologist on staff. You don't have the most perfectly or well-earned crafted memos

of double speak and confusion to keep everybody as passive as well. You're not running a fucking cult. Like you don't have employment practices that essentially establish like a goddamn cult in Silicon Valley. You're not literally controlling people's minds and this is a surprise to you. How fucking dare you treat us like we're that stupid. You did it. You guys fucking did it. And every single time, every time you fuck with somebody,

you do something, you are doing something that could cause something exactly like this. It's more than for all the people who's that, who've ever been banned for inciting violence like me, a bunty, another, all these normal guys that get hit for inciting violence. YouTube is the only one that has actually incited violence. Interesting. Yeah. So, so their counts still kick in though, by the way, I don't know. That's what, it does make me rage though

that whole YouTube shooting that it just disappeared after that and that everybody's got a qualify, it's such an intro. Well, you know, not that I agree with it. Like, yeah, no shit. But they, they did it. They're not like, they're not,

that's not victim blaming to say that the biggest company in the world that's like a technocracy that has ultimate, could that has complete control over everyone's life is not responsible for this shit because they're the ones fucking doing it. They built a marketplace and they're a buta. Well, it makes you rage, Kevin.

Snow in April. Yeah. So from Chicago, just flew in yesterday and Thursday, it was fucking snowing. Snow in Chicago, April, snow in April. Yeah, that's late. I mean, the beginning of spring was March 20th, I want to say. And it's like, I know shit's fucked up now. Everything's delayed, everything's early.

We have like summer and October, but still waking up on Thursday morning to a pile of snow on my car in April. I'm like, I can't fucking believe that. Like I'm glad I'm going to be in LA for a little bit, like in a week, but that was just unfuckin' real. I'm so jealous of the snow. I've never had snow.

Don't be, don't be. It sucks. Like the endless summer here, that it starts to feel like the weather is just like a static noise, like an eternity of blue sky and a 70 degree weather. I feel like it is like. It's like, it's like a drive people in LA and saying, like you feel like you're stuck in a time loop,

like a groundhog's day day where every day you wake up and look outside and it's like fucks the same, is it the same fucking day? Because there's nothing different outside. That feels like it. It does, I think it has like a subtle effect on the mind of people in LA that drives us fucking crazy. I can see that for sure.

You guys don't know how good you have it with your, I guess, yeah, it's free. It's snow plows. When we do get a 70 degree day, like I appreciate the hell out of it. I go outside, I spend the day outside, but then two days later it's those. Yeah.

So who's to say? What do you do when it snows? You build a snowman? I stay inside. I stay inside. I stay inside. I'll do that next month when it snows. But typically snow stops being fun when you start to drive a car.

Yeah. Because then you have to wake up earlier, you have to turn your car on, defrost it, shovel the snow off the windshield and the one behold you're late to work. Can people drive in the snow? And where you are? Oh yeah, I mean, just an LA thing.

Well, we're used to it, but I mean, there's not a lot of roads. I mean, they, oh yeah, yeah, they're well prepared, but I mean, there are some days, like I couldn't, like there was a big snowfall back in January. I couldn't get out of my parking spot for like a half hour. Yeah, it's brutal. Um, we never had snow days here. Oh, see, that's what you're missing out on. Those were nice. Like once or twice a year, extra day off school, it seemed on the Simpsons and always give very jealous. Then we started having like bomb threat days.

That was kind of cool. Same thing. And every, every kid would be lying if they weren't like, yes, fucking amen. Whatever kid did that, God bless you, thank you. Santa Claus. Yeah. He is real. Yeah. Like, oh, he always hoped

that they're not just a mentally deranged person. Like maybe just a prank. Could be. Could be. Snow in April, huh? Yeah. That is my rage. Yeah.

When my sister lived in Indiana, I think the snow was fun for them for about 10 minutes. Yeah. And then she said it gets really old. They're trapped. You trapped in a house with someone else. It's fun when you're a kid. Exactly.

Yeah. Exactly. The kids love it, but then you're stuck in a, in a fucking tomb. You're stuck in an Egyptian tomb with your family. The wall is closed, yeah. Just wanting to be away from these people, but you're not mobile. Not to mention, it's all pretty in shit when it starts to fall and hit the ground at first,

but after a week or two, you get all the sludge on the side of the road from traffic. It just gets dirty. It's ugly as fuck. Oh, man. I'm gonna play a song. I haven't played enough. This one is called the Lollikon by hard men working hard by the Dixho album of people. Ooh. I don't know if this is accurate, because I don't know the terminology of like anime shit, but you are a self-professed, what is it, lollicon fan? Yes. Does that mean, what does that mean what does that mean it means that I am a huge fan of illustrations of little girls getting fun oh I'm more refined than the average guy Like did you see, he's a pretty so fit of ass See your rap god, I never made fancy y'all

I can't afford to serve a rough penny And he's making money up on all the other retards and heartrends You can eat red for all I care And the maid was a mistaken, I'm near your racer God save ya, I can't explain it No taste these guys, no tips, no hips, no wask And finally say, just where the shit is Fucking gayer than prison rape

But at least the gays have the decent seed To say y'all don't know, fuck men they're a nage To be not big disgusting, what they say And while there's just a drawing on a page Right When do we stop the purge cause pedophags? Everybody drop retardas, bugs, and a scurge off porn This camera, oh my goodness This is good Ah, alright Oh my god This is when the camera wanted me to play. This is revolting. I'm not taking makeup tips and fudge as the kids.

On the front lines of this shit. So call me sick, get out of the house, you sleep. But I will fight for this. And when they call me, great, I will remind them that they're wrong. Next in the cross air and they're lost here. We'll mean all the same everywhere. It starts with normal poku, no pico freaks on the streets. And jokes about minorities. Until it affects everything and everybody. I'm sorry, I can't stand that. Oh, man. I'm a big fan of jerking my car.

Alright, alright, alright, alright. It's too uncomfortable to even hear it reference. The good. LeCembre using his very ample powers for evil. Yeah. Oh my goodness. All right, well, I'll put it on the website later. Let me see if I got anything else.

I'll tell that story about 80s girl. I'm very upset by it, obviously. I tried to make light of it, but whatever. I did fuck up this week. Yeah, I posted on, I'm rarely on Facebook whenever I am. I'd only go for the Dick show group. So you fall into the trap of just thinking that everything on Facebook is from I am, I'd only go for the Dixho group. And this week, so you've fallen into the trap of just thinking that everything on Facebook is from the group, or from the show, from the Dixho group.

So your comments are on level 10 to everybody or any group. And I rarely comment on the group. But this week, I sometimes I'll go on and I'll see a post from someone who I am an acquaintance with but I don't know very well I'm gonna say like what the fuck is that? Oh fuck your mother But it's it'll be from just somebody I know and it's like what that's in the dick show group. That's weird Oh, you're not in the group, okay? Whoops my bad not the world exists outside So that happened this week, but I decided to interact with it. Jamie posted something about black jelly beans. Like she posted something about jelly beans and then like fuck the black ones.

Okay. I thought it was being real clever, right? Like I was like, oh, this will be good for her. Are the black ones a licorice? Yeah, they're licorice. Likorice flavored. I said all, I said to myself, oh, this will be real funny, right? This will really spark some debate in the group.

I posted the comment on her picture of, I heard that chicks, oh, and then to her jelly bean picture, I was reading down and there was a bunch of chicks who said, oh, I love the black ones. I love the black jelly beans, right? So I wrote, I posted a comment, oh, I bunch of chicks who said, oh, I love the black ones. I love the black jelly beans, right? So I wrote, I posted a comment, oh, I heard that chicks who like jelly beans give the best head. Okay. And then I commented to that, a little arrow sticking up, like planting my flag and it

going like, check that out, right? So I closed the window and took about three steps away from the computer and I'm like, I'm gonna go and like, check that out, right? So I closed the window and took about three steps away from the computer and I'm like, oh, and like the series of the preceding comments before mine started flashing through my mind. And it was like the woman who said, I like jelly beans. I'm like, she was like 50 something.

And the other woman like, that was her profile picture was her family. At church. Not a weird like shinshan reference. Or like, fuck. So I open my computer like, like come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go. Sure enough, I scroll up to the post, Jamie Lynn Hughes,

and I'm looking for the posted to the Dixho group, not there. Delete, delete, delete, delete, delete, delete, as I'm doing this, I get a message from her going, haha, all caps, haha, what the fuck, delete, delete, delete, delete, delete, delete. Yeah. Well, whoops. Yeah.

There you go. Um, okay, I'll tell you what take what happened, 80s girl. Friday night. We went out to the seven grand with Keon and Keon, the mega powers. Keon and Keon? Keon and Keon, Keon and Keon, Keon and Magganya and Randy Keon. Oh, right. Right.

The lawyer and the manager. They're the mega powers of Keon and Keon. Yeah. That's what they do. They go out together, fucking being the mega powers, Keon and Keon. The dynamite duo, right? So, it's going out to have a nice night. Yeah. 80s girl gets all dressed up.

She's got a new romper. She wants to show off. She's been waiting new romper. Okay, she wants to show off. She's been waiting. It's her spring break, right? So she's been relaxing all week. Yeah. These teachers, they give vacations like nobody else. Like you and me and the rest of everybody in the world,

we've got to work every day. We don't just get like summers off and spring breaks that are mandatory. You can't go to work if you want to. Oh, please. Because the kids aren't there. Like, you do, you don't have to worry about like some, you don't have to worry about some asshole that you work with showing you up by not taking a vacation.

And they get, like, it's not. No days in the tropics. Weird. They get you just, you don't want to go to work, just call it a bomb threat. No, you think you can do that working for YouTube? No, guy comes in with a chick comes in with a rifle. You are going fucking back to work the next day. They might hire you a grieving counselor, but motherfucker, you are working a full day

of demonetizing right-wing content and censoring gun videos. That's your job. Teachers, one little bomb threat and they're out. Take a fucking vacation. Right? This I'm just saying, she had the whole week off. Spring break, you know what, the kids are done learning.

The kid they don't need to learn this week. What, why not next week then? Huh? How about the, Oh, anyway. She got this new romper that she wanted to show off. It's amazing. Do you know what a romper is?

Rompers, like it, it's like a half dress with shorts, but it's built so like it always pulls up in the back. Like, no matter what, they're making this for men, no, too. What the hell are you talking about? Rompers for men. It's for everybody now. Yeah. I mean, they're making those for men now too. What the hell are you talking about? Romper's for men. It's for everybody now. Yeah. I mean, they're stylized for guys, you know?

Like a masculine. I don't know. You have to be a forever. You have to be a forever. You have to be a forever. I think there are some like that. Yeah, it's not. Brett the hitman heart kind of a romper.

Was that a romper? Was that a unitarred? I don't know. They're no men. All right, anyway, she's got a new romper, stewing her hair. We're having a nice, I'm putting on my nice shoes, Sean. Let's, ugh, I'm not wearing sandals, I'm saying. You have a nice night, boy.

No issues. It's a 7 grand, that's a whiskey bar, isn't it? Yeah, and it's an expensive one at that. Yeah. We get on the 7 gram hanging out with Keon and Keon for a little bit. And we head to the bathroom, both of us head to the bathroom. And I was quite a bit ahead because I really had to go. Going to the bathroom, I come out, 80s girls standing there. This is what's going on.

And she says, they're talking about you. They're talking about the lawsuit, the girl, yeah, the girl and the guy are talking about the lawsuit. I said, oh, cool. How interesting. Like, that's neat. I like seeing, I like being in real life encountering people who are talking about the show

or whatever. Yeah, because that does happen to you occasionally. Yeah, and it's always fun. It doesn't happen a lot, but it's always fun. Like, there's always like the little, there's usually like a little wink of everything's under control. A bartender will be like, are you, I remember, I recognize your whiny, shrill voice while you're ranting about something with someone you're with.

Are you? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm that guy. I'm that guy. So I was excited at first. I go, like, well, what did they, what did they say? They're talking about the lawsuit. And she said, she says to me, 80s girls says,

yeah, when you're in the bathroom, that girl said, it's fucking dick. Except using my real name, of course. That fucker is in the bathroom. And I said, oh, so it's one of those. So it's one of these, all right, well, I'm no stranger to those either. No, I've been slapped, I've been slapped a couple times. I've been recognized.

I was in Vegas walking with a friend of mine who was wearing leaderhosen at the time. I was wearing a white suit like a jackass in Aviator. So I'm reason. Chick came over, chick passed me by, recognized me, walked back the other way a little bit later, came out of nowhere, smacked the shit out of me, bent my aviators.

Wow. Right? The fact that people think they can just do that, and that women think they can just do that. You know, I'm gonna stop, I'm gonna stop right here and tell you that you don't know how right you are and how infuriating it is that women, women, will melt down and have violent tantrums constantly and get away with it.

Fucking constantly every fucking night, every night, probably 10% of them do it. 10% of the women in the country are just immune to battery laws because it's so fucking many of them do it. If men didn't pay taxes at the same rate that women ignore, assault, and battery laws, no taxes would exist, because you can't enforce it to that degree. It's happened within my extended family. Just out of, check school's fucking psycho.

Argument, wham, wham, wham, done to cool off, and we all just let it go, because collectively all of society knows how batshit insane insane an overwhelming amount of women are. Oh, and I say this on the 10 year anniversary of Menorbet and the Women, the entire point of that book, the entire fucking point of Menorbet and the Women, the book is to say all women for one simple reason. If you say 99% of women are like this,

99%, 100%, we'll say, I'm that one percent. So the only fucking way to get anybody to own up to it is to say, you know what? It's 100%. It's 100% of you do this. And whatever it is, the 20%, the 30%, the 80% of anybody who has their head screwed on straight-algo, I know he's not talking about me. But the ones who are fucked will say, where's my out?

You didn't give me an out. Where's my 1%? Wrong bitch, it's 100%. Well, I'm going fucking ballistic then. You can't say that shit. Like, yeah, because if I had given you the tiniest, the tiniest out, you would seize onto it like a fucking life raft. Cause you're so mentally deranged.

And they do it, they do it every, every fucking, every weekend, every fucking weekend, chicks that are in altercations at bars across America, maybe across the world, but I don't know. I've seen it. I've seen it. I've seen it. I've seen it. I've seen it. I've seen it. I've seen it. I've seen it. I've seen it. I've seen it. across America, maybe across the world, but I don't know, just lose their goddamn mind

to no consequence at all. I've seen it plenty of times. Think you and me have seen it. We've probably, Sean, we've probably been the victim of it. I don't think I've been, I've been hit by a stranger. I have many fucking times. You're missing out, man. For the soul, the soul infraction of speaking to them. Yeah, not in an aggressive way

Like I'm I'm not an aggressive guy because I will never hit you I will I will talk shit. I will make fun of you or embarrassing yourself in Public because I think you should be ashamed of yourself But surprise the prep so fucking prize, that's not an act of violence, that's not aggression, it's not harassment, it's just fucking talking to somebody, like a human. What was the terminology earlier with assault and battery, though?

Like, didn't you say that there was a, the idea of words were assault? Was it? Well, if you cause them to feel fear, or to, you can like, you know, like this, that's assault. Uh-huh. Getting it, like you're gonna hit somebody, making them afraid of physical violence.

You can't, that's a crime, you can't do it. Yeah. You can't do it, or else everyone would be going around like this, like, oh, you're back with me. Uh-huh, uh-huh. We should all just walk around like that. Yeah. Cause it would be legal.

Yeah. So everyone would fucking do just walk around like that. Yeah. Cause it would be legal. Yeah. So everyone would fucking do it. Uh, yeah. I'd like 15% off. I'd like this car. Well, I'm afraid I can't do that. Huh? Yes sir.

Okay. Okay. Well, I guess I have no fucking, yeah, I have no fucking records. They have the right to do that back. So that's not what we want. We don't want a society of, huh? It's an idea.

It's an alternate universe where this could exist. Yes. Does it play out? Does it play out? That is people who are not born large suffer in such an a fist-raising economy. That's why we're trying to equalize. Yeah. Fist raising economy. We're trying to level the playing field by removing violence from it. Yeah, no, I'm with you. Like the electoral college, I guess, you know, helps the small states out a little bit. Yeah. We help. Yes. because they have things to offer to.

You know, like feeding America, for example. So, battery, of course, is, you know, I think we explained the difference with that. Do you touch somebody, throw something, I had run them, shove them in anything, anything. So, if we go to the bathroom, 80s girls hanging out in the hallway in the bathroom. And she says, they're talking about you, she said that fuckers, the fuckers here, he's in the bathroom. Yeah. He said,

oh boy. Hmm. Here we fucking go. All right. I'm not a stranger to having people waiting to talk to me anyway. Sure. I've been the time you're talking about, or you talked about before, there was like, I got into an argument with some housewives at a California pizza kitchen or beside a California pizza kitchen. Two hours later, I'd completely, cause this bitch, I'll tell it on a bonus episode,

but this fucking chick came over and tried to make fun of my friends. Okay, I'll tell a whole story. Housewife was wearing extremely short shorts and she had a big fat ass, like a big thick ass, excuse me. And there was a couple of gentlemen at our table who were taking note of the thickness of her ass, commenting on and shuckling to themselves

because they're, hey, what are you supposed to do? It's a big thick ass over there. You got damn right, they're gonna notice it and they're gonna talk about it and they're just, hey, what are you supposed to do? It's a big dick ass over there. You got them, right? They're gonna notice it, and they're gonna talk about it, and they're gonna laugh to each other. And maybe if you are like some kind of deranged lunatic, this will look like they're mocking you.

Maybe they are kind of mocking you. That's okay, too, but they're just noticing the extremely inappropriate shorts that you're wearing, right? That's what's actually happening. So this bitch comes over, a big, big red headed bitch. Comes over and starts doing that hip cocks, you know. Is that hip cocks, you know.

I know that's a trigger for you. Well, I don't like, I don't like women enjoying themselves. No, which is what they're doing in there. Too sassy, yeah, too sassy, having too much fun. Yeah, got to end this. No, like no, I know, I know that that hurts my fellow men. They cower in fear of that, but I do not. I see that through that hip-cock and see that you're just

making yourself look bigger than you. See, it's like an animal that has foliage that makes it look larger than it is when women do that hands on their hip it seems like they're very big because of what they're doing but they're still the same size yeah I understand that you know yeah yeah yeah it's a threat display yes exactly assault no I'm how I mean I don't know it depends on the law context I suppose. Yeah, I don't think this is. If it doesn't scare you, I guess it doesn't. I think it's all just like, I'm gonna kick your fucking ass

unless you do this or something, maybe Nick can talk about it. So this woman came over and said, oh, you guys got something to say. And of course, they're like, oh, fuck. All right, I don't want to deal with this bitch. He's like, oh, yeah, I've had four kids, just start slapping her ass,

like doing the thing with her shirt. And I'm like, I said something relatively innocuous. Yeah, like, oh, wait, I mean, lady, we can see where your kids came from here. They're just commenting on the obscenity of your shorts. Yeah, innocuous. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah, right. Yeah. I'm gonna think about what exactly it was. I think it was something like that. And nothing really came of it, but then two hours later, we leave the restaurant, subores in Valencia. And I'm goofing around with my sister and her husband. They didn't have kids at the time. This was a long time ago. And everyone's kind of getting quiet. And I'm just Mr. Oblivius. Like, what's going on?

Where are you guys quiet? And I was kind of looking around. Then from the left, this murder of these harpies descended upon us. It was the red leader, red one, and big red in the front with this coven of housewives. And I'm like, what the fuck? And my stupid mind, I'm thinking, what,

did we just leave the restaurant at the same time? No, they had been skulking around. Lying and waiting. Yeah, waiting for a confrontation. So, Michael, I'll always oblige you on that, you know? Everyone knows that about me. I think it's, you get to learn a little bit about yourself. You don't have, everybody spends so much time fantasizing

about what they would do in situations. You get one gifted to you. You take advantage of it. I was like, okay, well, you guys go on to the car. I'm just gonna talk to these, I'm gonna take care of some business. I'm gonna accept an apology from these ladies, which I'm sure is what they're going

to offer for spoiling for spoiling our dinner by strutting over like an angry cow and ranting to two of young gentlemen who were minding their own business. Look, like their eyes weren't assaulting you, bitch. You're the one wearing a 90 shorts out to a bar while you're fucking married and have four kids at home. Okay, this isn't, we didn't do this to you. You chose to fucking dress like this, right? Yes. Yeah.

So I'm like, oh, you know, they're talking to me. She's calling me a piece of shit, whatever. And I'm laughing. Which, which, which in rage is. when you laugh, yeah, I'm convinced that's what does it with you. Yeah, the laughter because they do not, they want to fight. Yes, they want to fight. They expect you to come back with the same kind of intensity that they, that they brought forth. And when you don't, when you just laugh,

they don't know what to do. And it melts their fucking brains. I think what you're saying is, I think I'm also gonna add that, I think if I came back with that nipple rubbing shit that they wanna do, that it would defuse the situation. Like I think that's what they're looking for.

Like they're throwing a tantrum to get a tantrum in return. And when they don't get it, the only thing they know how to do is up the tantrum level. Yeah. Which is exactly what happened on Friday. So I'm continuing to make fun of these women. And when she's like, well, I've had, she's saying shit like, well, my husband's a fireman, and when he finds out about this, and I'm saying shit like, your husband knows that you go out on those shorts? Wow, I can't believe that. Well, you know, tell Jesus, tell him I'm sorry,

that he's got to just get those off. You're with the joss of life. Yeah, you know, shit like, just normal, normal outbundish. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So this woman, so this woman with her can't help it. We were raised on married with children because a fuck them like either It's just like I have to tolerate you Speaking like this to me like we're gonna. I'm gonna have a good time with it, you know

Too much fun. So she turns around to her friend, she's got like six friends. Yeah. And while she's doing this, I had pulled a shopping cart that I saw. Yeah, I pulled it over because this was also like a whole food or something like that and the, or sprouts.

I pulled it over and I'm sitting on it. Like just resting. I don't need it. I need to stand up, you know. That makes it so much work. This doesn't need to be a floor show. I'm gonna have, up, you know. That makes it so much work. This doesn't need to be a floor show. I'm gonna have, I'm gonna sit. You don't need, you know, I've had a long night

of drinking in good times. I'm just gonna take a break while you idiots wear yourselves out. And then you're gonna go home and you're gonna ruin your husband's, the rest of his life, right? I know how this plays out. I'll just, I'll take a seat.

So big red turns to her friends and says, I'm gonna hit him. I'm gonna hit him. I'm gonna hit him. And she starts going this and I'm like, oh wow, this is gonna, this is gonna get a much funnier. Uh, so her friend, one of her friends, like no, no, no, you shouldn't, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, they, you shouldn't, no, no, no, no, no,

like, you know, they're doing the standard, oh, no, no, no, you shouldn't do that. You know, no, no, he's not worth it. He's not worth it. He's not worth it. That was the all kept saying. He's not worth it. He's not worth it. And I said, what would make it worth it?

Yeah, yeah. It was something like that. I don't know about that. I think I'm worth it. There's something like that. Or like, I don't know. I mean, if I was wearing those shorts, what would be worth it?

Something like that. And she spins around and kicks. She tries to kick me. Sorry, you can from a street fighter, this is like, right? I knew. She does a spin around. Yeah, that's cross the parking lot. Impressive technique.

Impressive. But it's like, it's just some, it's just some thick, like, fucking housewife. Like she's probably never kicked. Yeah. I don't know what she's thinking. This is the thing with these chicks,

they just, they get it in their mind that they're cage fighters all the sudden. Like, this is the, this is the ultimate woman to me. Like, she's, for out of nowhere, she decides that she can fight a fully grown man over her shorts with, with advanced kicking moves. Yeah. Like, okay. Uh, I used to do martial arts in high school, but they never like at a fucking grocery store. Okay, when you did martial arts in high school, do you remember how hard it is to kick someone? Like when you're learning kicks, you're like, there's a lot going on. Like, you gotta get your leg all up, and it's like, this is a knot.

I could, like, I'm not going to kick it. I'm not going to kick it. I'm not going to kick it. I'm not going to kick it. I'm not going to kick it. I'm it is to kick someone? Like when you're learning kicks, you're like, there's a lock on it up. Like you gotta get your leg all up and it's like this is a knot. I could, I'm a, I could punch, but getting a kick,

I get that it's strong, but it's very stretchy. She had her legs free, I mean those shorts, you know? Lot of flexibility. So she kicks me and it's like this fucking weird lunge, like half of her is trying to kick open the door of a meth lab and like the other half of her is just trying to do like a knee move and she totally fucks it up. She kicks me and it glances off my stomach and gets caught in the shopping cart.

Because I'm sitting in the shopping cart. Oh god. Oh god. Because I'm sitting in the shopping cart. So she kicks and kind of misses and catches her toe in like the where I was sitting part. So it catches there. And I'm like, okay, I've had enough fun because if the Capskitt caught, I'm going to jail. I know that because you're the man. Yeah, because I'm a man. And all of society knows that most women are fucking stupid.

So all of our traditions and laws keep that in mind. Cop show up, you gotta arrest the guy, why? Well, you know, because he should have known better than to do what he's, because we're all trying to get the big woman off the platform to fuck us, right? That's why we've gotta fucking keep her happy at all times. So she gets her leg caught and I hop off the shopping cart. So the shopping cart immediately tips over and lands

on top of her like a, like a caught, you know, like a bunny in the wild, like a big fat bunny fat ass bunny in the wild that just got caught in a trap, right? Like it's on top of her. Her other leg is under the cart. So she fucking kicks the shopping cart over onto her cell. On to her cell. She's laying on the fucking asphalt in the parking lot screaming, screaming.

Oh, her other friend, screaming, screaming. Oh my God. Her other friend. That's hilarious. Her other friend says, get off of her to me and starts beating me with her hand. You're not on her. Sean, the shopping cart is on her. This is literally, this is all I did. Yeah.

This should be a scene in the new John Wick movie. Standing up. This is like me standing up and these women beating themselves into a coma using shopping, which they should have more, let's, they should have more experience with, you know, shopping carts and stuff. And I know those wheels are wonky. Yeah.

I'm like always one. Yeah, yeah. It was good. One. I'm like Jackie Chan over here throwing shopping carts and coupons at like, right, using their own weapons against them. Yeah. Yeah. Uh, shopping cart judo. Yeah. Uh, right, using their own weapons against them. Yeah, yeah.

Shopping cart judo. Yeah. So her other friend comes up and goes, get off of her and starts hammering me with her purse. I'm like, okay, like you weren't, you weren't that formidable when you were pissed off. Just screaming doesn't make you any stronger. I'm not, like I'm just kind of black and it plus I'm drunk, so I'm like numb.

You know, I wouldn't feel if a man was doing it. I'm like, all right, all right, all right. And she hits me and her camera goes spilling out onto the ground, so I'm like, oh, it's too bad, that sucks. Like this will be great. So I grabbed the camera and I take off. Oh my god. All right, see ya bitch. Like,. So I grabbed the camera and I take off. Oh my god.

All right, see ya bitch. Like, ah, got the camera. The most things like meet me, the most fucking infuriating thing you can do. Oh yeah. So now I remember I'm there with my sister, her boyfriend at the time. What they weren't married yet.

And I run over there and I'm like, ah, guys, hey, check it out. I got that, that should get lost your camera beating me with it. I got it. Let's get out of here. I'm gonna see, there's gotta be some funny in here, right? Oh. You know, I just found it on the ground, right? I don't know who, I don't know who belongs to.

So she runs over, so I run over to my sister and her husband. They're sitting on the, her boyfriend and they're sitting in the back of a truck and they say, well, check out what I got. Let's get out of here. Let's go, let's go. And they're just kind the back of a truck and he say, well, check out what I got. Let's get out of here. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. And they're just kind of like staring, staring ahead. And then like, did I have, did I die? Am I a ghost? What the fuck's going on? Let's get out. I look at what I got.

This is a hilarious trophy. I could keep this forever about what just happened. And they fucking deserve it. Um, but they didn't, they never responded. And I was like, I was very confused by it. So finally the little blonde runs her the last over. And I'm like, all right, this is your camera. I guess maybe it's not funny. Like I try to look for context clues around me to see if what I'm doing is funny.

Because always, yeah. Otherwise, you never stop, right? That's true. It's always funny. Yeah. But the emotion of funny and cruel are the same. Like, it's a very fine line and I don't know where it is. It's a very strange, yeah.

Yeah, and other people seem to together. So I look for them and I'm like, is this funny or cruel? I'm thinking cruel by the way you're like, all right, whatever. Here's camera, it's fine. Here you go. So she said, I handed back to her and she says, yeah, I'll take that back now. And I said, all right, well, you can go fetch it then. And I, pull it back. You had to keep talking. Yeah, I have it out here you go It's fine just take it. Yeah, I'll take that back now. I was like ah shit. Well can't have that

Real back fucking I mean I was playing I was playing I played college baseball I played I played baseball for a college that was terrible and had no outfield fence. We had a 680 foot outfield fence and we were terrible. We had the worst pictures in the league. Our picture, one of our pictures during a game broke his own record for most badders hit in an inning. And this was not remarkable to us. Oh, I know.

Twenty, like 22 or something like that. Because we had no one, Sean, we had people on, we had people on our team that had never thrown a ball before in their life. And we used to be in a shit ball, in a competitive league for us. But then the league came in and said, uh, your school has, your school has X number of students. So we're requiring you because of the rules to go into two leagues above. I'm like, well, we can't compete at all in this league. We don't give sponsorships, or like, it's a tech school. We're just, we have guys that, some of these other schools,

that students don't write around and automated wheelchairs. Yeah, they have four limbs. They can't expect us to compete. So we're competing with schools that have like baseball scholarships. Yeah, we have sun allergies. So we're the worst like we haven't won ever since we got moved to that league. We didn't win a game since 1981. Yeah. We didn't win a game in 30, what is it? The 30 years now. It's a hell of a streak. It's almost 40 years, yeah. But this was your chance to prove that wrong by throwing the camera.

No. Why I'm saying that is because my entire college baseball life was spent running to offense and throwing balls 600 feet. So when I say I threw that camera, which was about the size of a baseball and about the weight of a baseball, when I say I threw that thing, you gotta, this was like a Tony Gwynthro. Like I don't, I think it still hasn't landed yet. How far I do this camera. And I threw it so fucking hot.

Like I threw it so hard that I think it traveled through time when it left my hand. It just was, and blinked out of existence. Beautiful. Now woman watched it, and then just looked back at me, and I could see her. I'm like, you know that you know that that could have been avoided by your behavior. Your attitude.

Right. Like we both are aware of that. So she goes not even not even running knowing that there's knowing that she's got a full night of picking up parts to the camp, just turning around and walking. All right. Let's hope this is done. Meanwhile, Big Red's expanating herself from the popping car. Rantic.

So I get in the car. I feel like shit now, because I think I fucked up. Judging by everyone's reaction, I was like, I guess I crossed the line. I'm a ghost somehow Mining my own business making comments about the world around me shone observations Opsimple observations What's the deal with those shorts, right? Yeah, simple stuff could have been sign-filming award winning commentary making I get back in the car and

Commentary of making. I get back in the car and I'm like, okay, whatever, I feel like shit, I fucked up. Oh well, another fuck up. And my sister's boyfriend, her husband now, says, that was the funniest thing I've ever seen. Uh huh. I said, okay, thank you. So what the fuck was the deal with the silent treatment

and all that shit then you sons of bitches? It was like when Cartman saw the Thompson's who had butts for heads. The broke funny, yeah, it was just too funny. He just couldn't believe it was, he couldn't take it all in. So, all right, I'm trying to- I'm circuited. I kind of sucked the anticipation out of the 80s girl story

with that one. I don't want to get accused of withholding stories. Right. So I'm no stranger to people lying in wait for me outside of places because that's not the first time it happens. It just happens all the fucking times. These chicks get a wild hair up their ass and they start, then they want to throw, then they wanna throw,

they wanna throw punches because they know a guy will come out of nowhere. They know a guy won't hit him back. They know a guy will come out of nowhere and lay someone out for no fucking reason because guys are stupid. Because men are so fucking dumb that they sacrifice themselves

for a big fat question mark in the sky that smells like a pussy to them. All the fucking time we spend our entire fucking lives doing this and where women are conning us the government is conning us into doing this all the fucking time every day it's due this because of a big quite big magical pussy in the sky that you're gonna get to fuck if you if you sacrifice something through me right now. It's hardwired and our fucking brain and it makes me sick. So,

Asriel says, they're talking about you. This girl, Kaitlyn Hall, she's talking about you and some guy with a gigantic beard. Okay, give me a break, dude. How many chop how many trees do you chop down today? Right, right just like yesterday none zero zero fucking trees where where those suspenders? Strap two they go all the way down. Do you have a are those suspenders attached to a butt plug that you have to shove up your ass 24 hours a day you piece of shit? I go over and 24 hours a day, you piece of shit.

I go over and yeah, my, I don't think my policy is a secret or strange. I confront people on everything. Yeah. Period. Because there is a feeling that you get of extreme discomfort, like a sickness. Yeah. That everybody has in them. That's why people say that public speaking is so terrifying.

Cause you get up there and you just feel this dread, like this consuming dread that tells you that you're going to die, right? Like that anxiety you get when you're going to break up with somebody or ask them out, uh, that anxiety, that feeling you get when you're going to ask for a raise, when you're going to tell your parents some secret about, you're going to tell your parents your gay. I don't know. I imagine that's what it's like because it's the same feeling.

The same feeling that we all have is, I'm going to die, stop this. And so when people avoid that though in general, our culture is very much geared to aggressive. And it's like hugely. That's where I think it comes from. Yeah, something seems hard. Like we tend to avoid it. Like it conflict in general, even if it's like some simple thing with a roommate, like, hey, can you wash the dishes? It's just sort of like a, you get looks, you know, yeah, but so you stop doing it. Yeah, right. And I know that Scott Adams has talked about this. So if you want to know more about what I'm talking about, check out any of his books, I think, because he speaks about it with more knowledge than I do.

But I think it is important to chase that feeling always I think it is important to chase that feeling always and that if you learn that you can survive while you have that feeling, it will no longer feel like it will no longer be a deterrent. Yeah, to do something that will usually almost always be beneficial to you. You know, like instead of, like you call, you text a girl

because calling her gives you that feeling of dread. So chase the feeling of dread. Yeah. If someone is talking, you should about you. Do the scarier thing. Always do the scarier thing and you will start to look for it, right?

Because it's usually, it's usually helpful. I mean, that's healthy advice for a lot of people. Yeah, didn't work out so well this time. Well, so I walk over to this girl and this guy who's saying that fucker's in there. By the way, tell me, oh yeah, A. Zerl says that they were talking about the lawsuit. Yeah, and I always wanna talk about the lawsuit

because I'm trying to run this campaign of explaining to people why I'm getting sued. Yeah. And it's important because more and more people come out of the woodwork to support what is an abuse of the legal system. And, you know, there's a public, there's a legal court and there's a court of public opinion.

Yeah. And while I think we'll lose, while I think we'll win the legal court, I think we're getting our fucking asses kicked in the court of public opinion. Is that right? Yeah. The time will tell, I feel, you know.

Yeah. I mean, like, Bonte was shocked last week hearing about, just some of the specifics. Because people, if there's a lawsuit, if somebody files such an outlandish lawsuit, they must have a good reason. Right.

That's the people give the benefit of the doubt. It's like, well, he must have done something. Must have done something. This must be really bad. I mean, people don't just file suits like that. Yeah. Um, so any opportunity to correct people, I will take because it's cheaper than fighting an infuckin court. Yeah. Sure. So I go over and say, you guys talking about, you guys, you know, me, you're talking about the lawsuit. Who's talking, who guys talking about, you know me? You talking about the lawsuit?

Who's talking about the lawsuit over there? You know, I don't make any judgments right away. I don't rope anybody in. Who's talking about what over here? And I get the immediate aggression of like, nothing, nobody, nobody. Like, hmm. The way you're reacting to this worries me,

because you're already upset, and nothing has been said that's upsetting. So I say, well, what about you? I address the man, right? It's always better to address the man, because then the man doesn't get angry that you're speaking to the woman, right? Which they always do.

The waiter comes over and talks immediately to the woman, I go, you son of a bitch. What the fuck do you think you're doing? You tap dance, you fucking fancy prick. You don't ever, don't you fucking dare, and like, I yell at the beer police every time. No. Better to talk to the man.

I say, do you know me? Do you know who I am? Or do you know about the lawsuit? And he goes, well, I've only known you for a couple of seconds now and I already don't like you. Okay, that's normal. Yeah, don't worry about that. I'm not saying it'll pass.

We're still fine. Yeah, we're still fine. So you, to the woman, to Caitlin, were you talking about the lawsuit? And she goes, she turns around, whips around immediately. Yeah, bad sign. And says, fuck you. What are you going to do? Talk about this on your podcast, like you talk about everything in your podcast. And she starts, like, yeah, she starts laying, she starts laying, is that right so far?

Yeah, she starts pressing into me, right? So 80s girls says, Hey, don't touch him. Simple. Yeah, simple rule. Simple rule that we have in life. You get unlimited free speech, and you have absolutely no right to touch.

Yeah, very simple. It's why the first one works because you can say anything you want as long as you don't touch. It's when we start blending the two and start touching up a storm that the speaking doesn't work so well anymore because then it just causes more touching,

which causes more, it's this endless fucking cycle, whereas when they're just nice and separate, like church and state, touching and speaking, it's not a fucking problem. You can do all the talking you want. You just have to resist that childlike urge to start getting in someone's face as though physical contact is going to change them.

It's very, very simple, very simple, but not a problem. I've been touched plenty of times. Sure. I know that when you talk to these LA people with their simple minds, and they're a little, they're their culture of

Obligation and inoffence you're gonna get you're gonna get touched that happens to me all the fucking time So she says don't touch em I said hey I Appreciate it, but go go over there and go go far away. I forget exactly when I said it Just go go wait over there because I know exactly how this is gonna play out Because I've seen it. You've I've seen it happen. I've seen it happen with my own mom When I was a little kid I saw I saw my dad get into an argument with this guy. He starts winging out He makes contact with my mom, my dad lays him out

with the fucking start super punch. Wobwobwobwob, knocks this motherfucker. Incredible technique. Oh, it was, I was riveted. I remember sitting in the back of my family fucking minivan seeing this, whack to mom, rev up, cub plow, knocked fucking cold, like King fucking Hippo, this guy, like, blast Joe sprawls out of his fucking motorcycle.

Beautiful punch, probably wasn't as good. I remember when I was a kid, but amazing punch still. I know what happens. You get any more than one chick and you're increasing the variables too much. Like you're adding an amount of, you know, I think we all know what I'm saying here. So I say go, go wait over there.

Like this isn't a big deal. Just go wait over there. I don't want, I don't want you getting roped in because you're who everyone attacks all the fucking time. So just go wait over there. So I talked to her again. Well, what do you think of the lawsuit? And she just fuck you.

This fuck you. Don't talk about this on your fucking show. Fuck off. Okay. Storms out. She makes a fucking beeline. She runs straight into 80s girl. Chicken wings are into the wall.

This, you know, we all know this move. Oh, I'm not, I'm just walking here. Yeah. You need to get out of my way. Shoulder into the wall. Takes an entirely full drink and smashes it on her. Jesus Christ. And this is 80's girls about 5'10".

Yeah, it's a big girl. And Caitlin Hall is big in a fat way. Like in a disgusting, I've never seen the inside of even a yoga studio way. Like a muffin top that would make the muffin man proud, like a blue ribbon, a blue ribbon pig. I'm saying, Kalenhal looks like a blue ribbon, Sal. Like she's the kind of girl where every top is a mid-drift, because they don't make

size, they don't make attractive styles for women who are as fat as her. Right? That's what I'm just so you get the idea You've known her no, no, I never knew her my I never knew my fucking life until this moment when she's talking about the lawsuit I say what's the value? What are you talking about? What the hell you talk? Do you know what are you talking about? Do you know the truth? So she makes a a B line straight for 80s girl Chicken wings are into the wall slash glass case that they have in the back of the seven grand Smashers a drink on her. Mm-hmm. And It's a weird not pleasant feeling when you see Your woman getting tossed around at all. Yeah's different if it's, you know, it's makes you feel

sick and angry. But there's nothing you can do about it. And you want everything in you wants there to be some kind of a retaliation because usually, and I'm not saying this is always true, but usually in the case of a physical conflict, the weaker party is always the one to start shit. Like that has just been my experience, where some, where people who don't understand, it's people who don't understand repercussions. Repreccussions and the difference in what they're,

the difference inside, like the difference in what they're the difference inside like that the The importance in what they're doing they don't understand the severity of what they're doing that just start throwing that just start throwing elbows start running people down and start causing conflicts That's my So I wrote a ladies girl to see if she's okay to make sure she's okay Which you always have to do. You know, she'll eat that shit up. And truthfully, because in the contest of human and objects, you never know.

You never know what the problem's gonna be. I run over to her to make sure she's okay. And I've also got Beard-O over here, who's an unknown at the time, like I don't know how big of a white knight this guy is. I don't know how big of a white knight this guy is. I don't know how badly he wants this fat pig to suck a stick. So I don't know what he's gonna do. It's capable of anything.

So I run over there. Run over here, are you okay? What happened? It's covered in liquor. Oliver, Sean, you know how hard it is for Mexican women to get their hair looking nice? It's very hard. Okay.

She's got liquor all over her hair. By the way, she's completely sober. Yeah. She doesn't drink. Yeah. Hasn't in a long, long time. So if we're relying on the memories of someone who's dead sober. Yeah. And someone who routinely posts jokes to their Twitter account about how fucking drunk they are.

Yeah. I'm taking the sober person, Bar none, who is not involved at all. Mm-hmm. So they say, all right. Um, just come with me. Don't stay here, because I'm not leaving you around this fucking screw ballball who later turned out to be a huge fucking asshole, beardo.

We got to find security. We got to call the police for one very important reason. As I said, I've been tossed around in bars a lot and gotten a lot of nipple rubbing contests, right? And it's not been a problem, but you gotta realize something about all this stupid bullshit that's going on. Without a paper trail, one gets invented. Like the entire lawsuit is horse shit. You comments about Twitter,

filed by Maddox and his insane girlfriend. When that happens and you drop the simple look, this bitch has a restraining order on her. This is just more behave like this is all invented because this is like this is what they do. And here's fucking proof. You need to have all the, like the degree to which you have to go by the system's rules

when it is constantly being used against you is fucking, it's maddening, it's time wasting and it's sick. It's not just something that happened at that point. Yeah. It's like this is, this is what you people always do. And I fucking know that at some point, Caitlin Hall is gonna be producing some fucked affidavit and some document that she was the target. She already fucking instant, she already posted it on Instagram

that because of my, I'll read you, when I get done with this story, I'll read you a herb response. You can, we can go through it in dissect. I saw her a cactus, no, private, by the way. All of them. Not private enough. And it's got a hell of a fucking memory. Yeah.

So I drag 80s grow along because I don't want any kind of surprise cold cocks happening, right? Because it's fucking humiliating. Did this happen near the front door? No, this happened in, it happened all the way in the back outside of the bathrooms. Got happened very quickly. So she stormed out to go to the bathroom presumably. No, she stormed out, she stormed out to, she stormed away, Caitlin, to hide in the birthday party that she was there. I walk out, kind of knowing about where she went in the seven grand, because it's a longer club,

shaped like a rectangle. I identify her trail, like I don't know, you get to like a sense of where people are going, I don't know. And it's in this like birthday party of about 20 people. It's a lot of these LA soy boys, like a bunch of little fucking faux hawks and guys that guys with their hair like Rucca that like that are they're all wearing like troll dolls on the top of their head.

Like these a bunch of these haircuts and I'm like, Oh, I fucking wonder, I fucking wonder it's this I walk up. I walk up and this this little fuck in a gray suit comes out and immediately goes, oh, Dick Masterson, huh? And I say, all right, yeah, who the fuck are you? And where did that girl just go? Where did she go? Because she just assaulted my girlfriend and I need to get her kicked out and call the fucking cops.

So just letting you know that this is very serious, Where did she go because she just assaulted my girlfriend and I need to get her kicked out and call the fucking cops. So just letting you know that this is very serious and I'm going to pursue it as seriously as possible right because that's what it fucking is. It's what it fucking is. You don't just walk around knocking people for no fucking reason because you don't like the person they're dating. and they're dating, right? Yep. So he starts his usual, whoa bro, you know this, this, that, you should just calm down. I'm not fucking calming down.

Another beardo shows up, another fake lumberjack shows up. This bitch shows up telling me that I, why don't I just leave her alone? So that's it for me. It's, it's Donald Duck time. It's time to go ballistic and start shouting at people until they get the fuck out of my face. Yeah, right?

Because you get overwhelmed by people bearing down, hey, bro, and that's when the nipple rubbing starts and that's when the fucking, that's when the shiv start, right? You always need a bunch, they get together and then when there's a critical mass of them, they start with the bullshit. Yeah, the reaction occurs. They start punching in the dark, right?

So I start shouting. One, one to the next. Hey, you fucking can't get the fuck away from me. This has nothing to do with you. You giant fake bearded fuck. Get the fuck away from me. Fine security comes over. And I talk to security.

Look, 80s girl explains what happens. What happened? The guy goes, okay. Yeah, called cops, and they get here, I'll get her out. I'll take her outside, and then they can do it. They can arrest her. I say, okay, thank you. We got outside. Call the cops. No answer. Call the cops. No answer. 10 minutes. Probably.

Finally get an answer. And they say call 911. Oh, I'm not in one far. So they can call you. Yeah, is this really, is this an emergency? Call it like you guys can't just, you're not, there's not enough resources to do this. There's too much weed.

You gotta go, there's, you know, there's too many drugs. You gotta go, there's too many drugs. You gotta go track down. All right. Call 911. It takes about two hours. Hour, maybe two hours to sit there waiting for the fucking cops to show up.

No shit. Yeah. They wouldn't let her leave. Did she try to leave or anything? No, no. They're up there having a birthday party where the fuck they're doing. Um, so finally the cops show up.

And I think at the same time, I think they were leaving at the same time because it was shutting down. Yeah, the whole place was shutting down because it was like two at that point. And I didn't talk to the cops at all. 80s girl talked to the cops, told them what happened. I'm like, all right, yep, that's battery. We'll go the rest of her. So they come down, cops grab her.

They take her over the side, and this is when I start filming, because I want to have a record of everything she's saying. Yeah, right? I fire up, I pull out my camera, start filming it. She's instantly sobbing. So she's the cops drunk, drunkenly. Like, obviously fucking drunk. I pull out my camera and start filming it. Instantly sobbing. As soon as the cough's wrong. Drunk and Lee.

Like, obviously fucking drunk. Slaping the cough's on her. Screaming, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I get on the recording, I don't know. I sent Sean the audio because the recording is difficult to discern. Yeah. Public street, a lot of noise going on.

Does your fucking dirty dog stand boiling up hot dogs right next to it? I thought that was a water fountain. Oh, it's a grill. Wow, that's a grill. Yeah, it's, it sounds just like you're standing in a water fountain. Yeah, so it's hard to say,

here exactly what you're saying. Yeah, it's, it's tough because everything is as loud as everything else. Yeah. So then her friends realize that I'm recording and they start doing the holding up the jacket thing. Saw that, I can't. Yeah.

I'm like, all right. And all I need is the audio. Like, I don't give a shit about. Yeah. Holding up the jackets might take some of the top end and clarity off of it, though, too. Okay, but when she was first being spoken to by the police, that's the jackets might take some of the top end and clarity off of it though, too. Okay, but when she was first being spoken to by the police, that's the most important

part. Yeah. So her friends very weirdly were, they're doing this thing where they walk towards you, but then they start pushing on you. And I think I have video of one of her friends saying, like, oh, don't just remember not to touch him because they'll, they'll, they'll call the police on that. Like, yes, because that is a fucking crime. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's why hold up your jacket. You moron, but there is a big, I don't know why you fundamentally don't understand the difference between touching and not fucking touching, and that you can't do the second you meet to bitch.

Like a guy can't promise you a career, and then you'll go fucking suck his cock every night. That's wrong, but somehow you can just touch people, nonstop, what the fuck is a matter with you? How do you guys drum up gigantic tantrums for something that's questionably immoral, but then touching is the first thing off the fucking table It's insane it's insanity. So I'm like alright, whatever this is this is this will work itself out

It's fine. I go over and hang out with 80s girl and that fucking beardo the same same beardo that was in the bathroom with her Just walks over to the like walks over to us and stands and Stairs and does these I'm pointing at my eyes and pointing to you like the something that he saw on the on TV To be intimidating right right like this. I'm like what the fuck is like what is what the fuck? What are you guys pantomiming like what is this? This is like this weird tribal LA, some kind of weird little band you have that are driven by, like what the fuck are you doing?

What does this mean? Standing there like he's from the children of the corn, the second I break out the video, he retreats, obviously knowing that he's done the children of the corn, the second I break out the video, he retreats. Obviously knowing that he's done something fucking wrong, the cops, the cops come out, maybe 30 minutes, 40 minutes later, they come out of the club and they say, look, we got to let her go. We looked, we looked at the video, we looked at a video. Really? They looked at the, at the bars. We have no fucking, they said, we looked at a video, we looked at a video. Really, they looked at the bars. We have no fucking, they said we looked at a video,

we didn't see anything, so we got a letter to go. And I said, what do you mean you didn't see anything? What do you mean we didn't see anything? Because we didn't see anything, and we don't have all night to watch these videos. We're gonna turn this over to detectives and they have all the time in the world to look at videos and I'm like, that's fucking,

there's no fucking way a detective is going to spend time on this shit. Like, what did you, what did you see? Did you see me talking to them? And he said, no. So you didn't see me talking to them at all because that's where it started. And he goes, no, we saw you and your lawyer, the guy in the suit. And he wasn't there. He wasn't even there.

And 80s girls said, what did you see me? And he goes, no. Like, what the fuck, what do you mean? What did you, what did you see? I just told him, it just seems like this sounds like we're in a fucking twilight episode. Did you see the drink at all? Did you see any of that? Did you see the, you didn't see the impact? You saw nothing. I think it's we didn't see a drink. We didn't see anything, but we got to go. We're all, we're going to file the battery report, but there's nothing else we can do. And we're sorry, but you would probably want the same done to you. I said, yeah, I mean, that's true. All of this is a waste of time for me and you in the first place, so I don't want any of it,

but what the hell does that mean? And they said, well, see if you can get a copy, see if you can get the video and then use it as your own evidence or whatever later if you try to get a restraining order, like, blah, blah, blah, blah blah blah blah blah. What's the policy on a on a on a bar or an establishment turning over a video to the public to like you you know. Well, if I was a bar, I wouldn't do it under any circumstance.

No, I have a feeling a manager would do it if I gave him 200 bucks. Okay, maybe so. So if anybody is the manager for the seven grand, I'll give you fucking 200 bucks to get a copy of the video. I know the police can obviously request it. Well, yeah, their request is kind of lawyer. Can a lawyer request it? Is that something? You know, I don't know, Sean. Yeah, I don't know, but that was it. And I went back. Let me get the, let me pull up Let me get the, let me pull up, uh,

Katelyn's comment that fucking pig. That was the fucking worst part. The weird KG, like, non answers from the cops. Yeah. Well, what'd you see? Nothing. Sounds like they did you, sounds like they didn't look at a tape. Or maybe the guy tried to get it working, you know, they spent some time back there 15, 20 minutes off. Yeah, I didn't, didn't show. Must have missed it. I don't know.

Because I was in the middle of everybody, like the thing, when he said we saw you and we saw your lawyer, I said, okay, you saw me talking to everybody and you saw, and I know Keon and Keon were there when I was trying to find her. You maybe, maybe you guys saw that because 80's girl wasn't involved in that. She was like, how are you looking at the wrong in these fucking moments, Dan? Here's what, so here's what Caitlin said. After I've said, yeah, you assaulted,

you assaulted my girlfriend flat out because of the fucking lawsuit because you got it all up in your head that You are fighting a good fight. Yeah, you're entitled to do that You're entitled to do that just like every drunk bitch in America that starts throwing punches throwing glasses putting cigarettes out on people Ranting and fucking raving because these chicks can't these chicks cannot fucking internalize that they don't get what they want most of the time because none of us get what we want most of the time.

You obnoxious bitch, that's why. Here's what she said on Instagram. I posted it before she privateed everything. Hey everyone, I did not assault anyone. I would never do that to another person, especially another woman. Especially Sean. Okay.

So, man is still on the table. I would never do that. I would never do that. I would never do that. But there's different degrees of never. Yeah, exactly. Exactly. I like that she starts off with a Tommy Wieso,

quote, right away. I did not hit her. It's not true. It's bullshit. Oh, hi, Mark. It's not true. It's bullshit. Oh, hi, Mark. I would never do that to another person, especially another woman. Last night, Dick recognized me from what and started harassing me. I never met.

Oh, wow. Yeah. No, I don't know. I mean, she looks like all the rest of the pigs. And she looks like every other fat ass LA comedian who looks like a fucking double base with their vagina in the middle of this baby Huey body that these broads make because they've never lifted weight

in their fucking lives, except the weight of their massive child abuse. I walked away and wanted to be, I'm never gonna look at a state that based the same way. They're disgusting, they're fucking disgusting. I mean, you know, this chick has blogs like talking about how, she posted a blog this week,

talking about how she needs to find a new therapist because her last one fired her for bringing booze into therapy. Oh boy, she's got problems. Great memory, great fucking memory. I walked away and wanted to be left alone. Well, I was drinking, but I promise you, there was no quote drunken ranting.

Okay, I didn't say more than four words to Dick and told him I didn't want to talk to him. Fine. At that point, as we're good, it's good. At that point, I spilled my drink on 80s girl. I'm not proud of it. So she admits to doing it, but uses a genteel word that makes it seem like kind of an, you'd use if it were an accident.

However, it's not an accident. I spilled, I spilled my drink on the 80s girl. I'm not proud of it, but I felt threatened and harassed at their badgering and intimidation about something I didn't want to talk about. So she admits to doing it with purpose using a verb that would indicate otherwise. That's an indicator of accidents. Yeah.

I felt threatened and harassed by badgering and intimidation, so all the me-to-words, right? And because of her beauty, I bet. Yeah. About something I didn't want to talk about. So she spilled her drink, spilled her drink on someone who is not involved in the conversation and is not proud of it.

Yeah. From there they called the cops, yep, because that's a crime, bitch. Police officers had me detained for about 15 minutes while they reviewed the tapes. Before realizing I didn't do anything. Well, you just said you did something. Yeah.

Didn't you? Yeah. But that's the problem with people who don't understand boundaries and the laws. They don't know what is, they don't know how to lie because they don't know what the fuck is a crime in first place. Right, right, right.

It's not a crime if I felt threatened. Of course I put my cigarette out on him. You understand it? I felt threatened. He called me fat a bunch of times and said I act like my mom. I mean, duh. That's chick law.

Like, well, who felt more in the right doing it? You're you're innocent. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Now you you legally technically you're innocent, but you didn't feel as threatened as the other one. Believe what you want. Okay. That's what guilty people say. That's right. Yeah. Believe what you want. Okay, that's what guilty people say. That's right. Yeah. But I had about 20 friends there as witnesses to what? There was four people in the back where it happened. 20 friends, 20 friends were there for me

to tell them what happened from my perspective. What a fucking mental case. I didn't do anything. I would absolutely never hurt another person to 80s girl sorry for spilling my drink on you. However, okay, yeah, sorry, but sorry for spilling my drink on you. However, as a 40 year old man, that's odd, okay, yeah. However, as a 40-year-old man and a school teacher, totally unnecessary, reference to someone's job,

I'm still trying to deconstruct her terrible sentence. We need Nick Riccata. Yeah, however, as a 40-year-old man and a school teacher, verbally harassing, verbally harassing. Okay, give me a break. I thought it was only four words, what happened to the, yeah. Verbaly harassing a 24 year old woman so much

that another friend had to step in, comma. Oh yeah. Cause I'm sure that's what lumberjack did. He just, yeah. He was, he was real tough guy when it was him and 20 of his friends. Yeah, that guy's when pussy was on the table. That guy's mind dick went inside of his body. When he told me he only knew me for a couple of seconds.

And he already didn't like me. If the wall, if there wasn't a wall behind, I mean, would have just completely shrank away. So much that another friend had to step in making a falsified police report, that's crime, by the way, that's defamation. There was no falsified police report and making one is a crime, so defamation right there. And trying to embarrass her by posting a video

of her crying in handcuffs for a story, question mark, not a good move. So what does that mean, not a good move. So what does that mean? Not a good move. I don't know. Why? What's not a good move? Why is it not a good move?

What's going to happen? Yeah. Is there some reason it wouldn't be a good move? You a bleakely threatening bitch. I was not arrested last night. Well, the handcuffs disagree, which is why I posted the picture because I knew you'd fucking lie about it. In fact, the police officers apologize to me after the fact.

I'm happy to ask the bar for the video and post it. Oh, go ahead then. This is all, save me 200 bucks. This is all I'll say. I don't wanna talk about this any longer and I do not wish to be part of your narrative. Thank you. So innocent that she doesn't wanna talk about it anymore. Yeah, that's the story.

It sucks and it's stupid and I guess it's anti-climactic but that's the way things are going now. Yeah. No matter what I do, it gets taken out on 80s girl. Everything that I fucking do, everything that I do. Some stupid, man-son-ite Kant from Maddox's world, either his dumb bitch girlfriend or this fucking pig. Yeah, what's the connection? I mean, is it like a UCB thing? I guess she's been on his show a couple times.

Okay. So, and every single time some bitch loses her temper and decides that the laws for her don't exist. Yeah. And yeah, I guess you can say that it's not a big deal, but calling someone's job and trying to get them you can say that it's not a big deal, but calling someone's job and trying to get them fired is, I guess, not a big deal for you until it just never fucking stops until it becomes a daily, until it becomes a monthly, weekly, life-consuming lawsuit

that has no fucking end. It's then, yeah, I guess it's not a big deal, but there is that. I don't know. I don't know, I was very upsetting, fucking sucks. It's humiliating to be pushed around and get drinks thrown on you because someone's got a problem with your boyfriend

and then you just have to sit in it all night. And I've thrown drinks before, famously, at the Dodger game, because I was drunk and I thought it would be funny and it wasn't. And it was stupid and I got kicked out for it and I fucking should have been. That's the truth. So the right thing happened.

Yeah. And it was because I thought it would be funny because I was drunk and idiot. Dr. Alain Er. Yeah. Again, I don't always know where the line of funny and cruel is. But again, yeah, you never know until you try it out. All right, I'm gonna play a, I'm gonna play a song. This is by Safe State Corrupted called Two Months.

He's the original writer of the acoustic 20 million song. Here he is with another one about the lawsuit, about two months. Damn it. Oh, I missed anything. What? Oh! I asked her who she was outside of the bathroom. I was trying to figure it out. She does on my famous comedian.

I really need to. Nice. I guess I could use two months. The wall's soodic and weight. out here is I'm a famous comedian. I really need to. Nice. I guess I could use two months. The wall's soodic and wait. It's not like anyone's lives are headstakes. Balls are blue. This is true.

But maybe it's a good thing. An issue with scheduling. Finds and fees. Oh, they can squeeze all the time And money can't pay Nothing worse than a delay We just want to see this end But now you got two months Another fucking two months

He's got to be out of Madfuck's There's no money in flux But too much I guess you got too much It may not be a fault But your life came to a screeching halt He can sweet About free speech While demanding half a billion.

His brain must be reptile yet. Drunk lawyer dog, oh, he likes to clog you up with motions in survival. He's hoping that she'll settle. There's no way you're giving up At least not two months You're stuck for two months Believe me we are pissed There's loss who won't be missed For another two months

Got fucking damn it too much If fifteen grants the cost You've already lost. Oh, whoops oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, doing that weird impression of a tough guy. Oh yeah. There was this also, this big fat bald guy who was calling me a pussy because I was recording it, like, weirdly. Yeah, you're a fucking pussy. Like, you're a fucking baby boomer, dude.

You don't even know what a Bitcoin is. Like, you have no relevance to me in my world. I'd have to explain to you how I wouldn't even know where to begin with how dumb you are with your baby boomer ways You have no idea you probably don't even you probably don't even know of a theorem you fat you and your three dimensions Yeah, yeah pathetic

Let me see if I can play it Now you ran away. All right, all right, all right. I'm gonna stretch it out. It's weird though, these people, they, like as soon as the camera comes out, they all just run away. It's like they forget that that technology exists. I don't know how else to say it.

Let me try to crop this so it can get a good shot. It's like they forget that that technology exists. Yeah. I don't know how else to say it. Let me try to crop this so it can get a good shot. I took this in public by the way. So totally, perfectly. Fine, what I'm doing. Yeah, video's okay, is my understanding. Yeah, yeah. This is the one I sent to you to try to get some, isolate some audio from.

Yeah, yeah. I'm working on it. You're working on it This guy this guy see this is this is what he was doing with the hands folded like this like he's the fucking undertakable Too much wrestling these guys they get all that's it. Yeah, it is. It's like they get all their They get all their sense of their own strength from watching wrestling. Yeah, like Freddie You're not stone Cold Steve Austin here. There he is. Oh, no, you ran away.

Oh, see, he's not worth it. He's not worth it. That was easy, right? Yeah. All right, there we go. There's a little bit of fun. Let me, I think monkey, monkey Jones is on. Oh, yeah. Yeah, let me see if I can.

Hey, monkey, are you there? Hey, Dick, hey, let me see if I can. Hey, Mom, are you there? Hey, Dick, a Sean, hey, I'm sorry. Is that the guy's name? Yeah, Kevin. I'm sorry for keeping you waiting, dude. I really wanted to talk to you. But I got two into these fucking stories about women behaving atrociously. Yeah, it's another a Dict show episode where it's like inception levels of storytelling, where we right stories within stories of the stories. When we got to the baseball stuff, I was thinking, wait, what was the first story that we

were on? I'm telling you. I love it. It's a great method of storytelling on the Dict show. It's the best way to get women because like, they can't leave with an unresolved story. Like nobody can fight it. They just want like, like, you're so I have enormous percentage of our audience as women. Just telling you guys, just start telling a story.

That's not accurate. Oh, I don't know. I don't know. There's no advertisements. So I've never bothered to look with the. Of course, there you go. So you heard the subject of this fat bitch who attacked your girlfriend, Caitlin, whatever. Here's how I know she's guilty. Yeah. Because you post the story and you tag her in it. I don't like your tweet. I mean, I like some of your tweets, but I didn't physically like the date. Right. Right. Then what's what's the guy's name? Riccita? How do you pronounce that? Riccita. Riccita. Riccita. He, he posts his opinion, just saying simply spilling your drink on someone intentionally is simple battery.

Yeah. He's not really taking a site. He's just posting a legal fact. Fact. Yeah. We go ahead and like that tweet, and it turns out this this fat Caitlin bitch now has me blocked on Twitter for liking that tweet. When you go on a mass blocking rampage on Twitter for somebody who simply likes a tweet

that's not even necessarily specifically about you, it's the legal fact. Yeah. I think that might be a sign of guilt. Yeah. I don't think legal facts are compatible with the ultra progressive LA lifestyle. So, it's best to block all of that out as often as possible and as aggressively as possible. I think that's what you're seeing. Yeah, it's not often that innocent people go on massive blocking spree on Twitter.

I think that kind of ties in with the Digi bro. Or a thought cops of Kunkai famously blocked by Dan Harmon, which he labeled as hashtag Harmon block 2018. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. All right, Monkey, I'm a fan of your work. I don't know specifically which one to play.

Do you have any favorites you want me to play to like give tease everybody? Oh, like a video of mine? Yeah. Yeah. No, don't play any of them on this show. Okay. We have to trick people into thinking I'm funny.

I don't want to actually show them my content. Yeah, it is. It's weird to like sit somebody down and make them listen to one minute of a YouTube video. Yeah. There you go. You know what the best way I would say if somebody wants to check me out is I did a 40 minute half in the bag red letter media style video with a stereo. So when I was up in New York about an episode of Young Sheldon.

So if you want to see, go watch that. Yeah. I've done some podcast with the stereo. It's just obsessively talking about like shitty TV. I think we talked about veggie tails for about 10 minutes on one of his science friction podcast. Good shit. He's good.

He's good at it. Yeah, but I also wanted to get you to call in to get your response to the did you broke call from last week because I know you guys were were close for a while and had a falling out similar to the way Maddox and I did. I don't want to make sure both of you guys got your say in in addition to being a big monkey Jones. When I heard that did you was going to be on the show talking about me and him breaking up, I was, you know, you get that little feeling of worry and you're still like, oh, man, what's he going to say about me on this show with 50,000 listeners?

But then I listened to the show and to my pleasant surprise, he just embarrasses himself. And I get off almost completely Scott free. So I was very happy with the last episode. Uh, you're talking about the lolligate stuff. Uh, yeah, among other things, the worst thing he had to say about me was that I was friends with people who were trolling him. And I think he was, he was trying to get you on his side, but then the whole time you were just like, Oh, yeah, that's funny.

Sure. Yeah, I would do that. And he kind of had no response to any of that. So I was pretty happy with my lack of performance last episode. It's interesting that people think you, I mean, in this case, it's you, but also me that we're responsible for like whipping people up into a frenzy or like directing people and you just, you can't. I really, I don't think that is a real thing. And no more than Maddox.

No more than Maddox did that with Caitlin. Yeah, I mean, I've never understood it. Like I guess maybe you give people the wrong information and they start making wrong decisions based on that, but it's still them doing it. Yeah, of course. Like, and then even then you're gonna have to tell me exactly what I said that, like, because Twitch is doing that now.

They're saying, you're responsible for moderating the behavior of your own followers. I have no, are you fucking kidding me? I can barely get the audio working for my fucking stream. And you want me to police the goddamn world? That's the same. I don't have infinite resources. Like, you Jeff Bezos, you cock. This is the, this is the no one is responsible

for anything anymore. It really is. It's really fucking is. Yeah, except the people, except the people who, the point of, of inception, which is like you, and your content creator,

then you're responsible because all these other people just do whatever you say. They're just, they're just mindless. These are the, G-Hotestsotests. They just, but you know, anything you say, they just, they're just brainless weapons at this point. Like, do you know how fucking hard you're hurting people? To get a personal, as much time as I've ever spent on 4chan, the most common thing I see is not your personal army, not your personal army, not your personal army because every mother

fucker in there will try to get everybody to mobilize and mob somebody and it just never fucking works. Yeah, I do disagree that that is a thing. I disagree with Did you gun that? While I respect his right to say it, of course. Oh, I sure. Do you agree with other things that he perhaps brought up during

the episode? Oh my God, dude. That was, that really baked my almonds, that whole conversation. I've never heard of that. I think the phrase is activating the almonds. That activated my almonds. It roasted them. It roasted my almonds beyond recognition. I still don't know how to take it. Because here's, like, here's another facet to that whole lolly shit. I would prefer that people are out in the open about it so that I can make decisions about what I want to do about that. Get a correct information. Yeah. Yeah. Like, when I was on the Milo show, I was, it came up in a conversation. I was a Milo a couple days ago. It's coming out on Wednesday. It came up in a conversation that I think a lot of politics

is about convincing people that they can save the world, or save a tremendous amount of people when in reality you can't. You can only help like yourself, your family, maybe a couple of your friends, but probably not as many as you think. I think politics is about convincing people that they have more power than they do.

Yeah, vis-a-vis that. And like when I think about this massive outrage over this lolly shit, I'm like, well, I mean, I'm responsible for my kids. That's kind of where what can I do to protect them better is letting you guys say whatever you want. Like do whatever you want, tell me about it, be proud of it. And then I'm gonna say, say, yeah, okay, well now I can make an informed decision.

Right. Thank you. Stay away from those persons kids. Stay away from men. Stay away from men in general. It's like, would you let them watch your kids? Like, I wouldn't let a fucking man watch my kids ever. Are you fucking kidding me?

I can. Anyway, I don't know.. Are you fucking kidding me? I can't. Anyway, I don't know. What makes you rage, Munky? Let's start there. Oh, man. Okay. What makes me your rage is that I used to be able to take advantage of movie theaters. And now the system is fucking me right back. And I call this the assigned seating bullshit. Yeah. Yeah. You used to be folks, because I got this new thing about six months ago, I got it called Movie Pass. I got sent. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

It's like Netflix for the movie theater. You spend $10 a month, you can go see a movie every freaking day. But I really loved it. Yeah, every day you can go to a movie and they just pay for your ticket. No, I maxed no 3D, but fuck that. Yeah. No, that would be kind of cool because I hate movies now, but it's mostly because I have to like spend the money to go see it.

If it was just a given like a subscription, I would be a lot more forgiving. Yeah, and the thing is in LA, what is a ticket like, $15 each? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, movie pass. It's $10 flat rate every month. So if you go to the movies more than once a month and you don't have movie pass,

you're kind of retarded. But here's the problem is that the way I go to a movies, I have my movie pass. I'm pretty much getting in for free. Yeah. And I don't value my time. So I show up 40 minutes early. So I have my open pick, auditorium seating. I consider wherever I want. I'm here so early nobody else is here

Maybe I'll sit in every single seat to see which one I like the most. Yeah But now all the theaters think that they want to be hip and cool And they have to justify uping the price to $15 a ticket It's another doing this Assigned seeding where you have to pay for the specific seat you want So now I can show up an hour early and it doesn't matter because all the seats are taken because people bought them online and you think, it all munk you, why don't you just buy your tickets online?

But you can't because movie pass, you have to buy it in person right before the show you're going to see. Sounds like you've got the perfect system and that would fuck. I mean, he seems he seems preoccup occupied with getting to the theater very early. It sounds like he what he needs is a hobby. You know what Sean, we used to hate the 20 so much, but I fucking miss it for exactly this reason. You used to get to the theater early and you could pick and you could pick the best seat

in the house. You could go on a hunt for the best seat and now you fuck, now that's all, that's all lost to the, to the people who are so privileged with their planning ahead that they can sit there weeks fucking advance and of course I'm talking about women, they can sit there weeks in advance and pick meticulously, pick out, they can find a, they can find an empty row of four and pick it right in the fucking middle And it's like you fucking bitch if you didn't buy if you fucking I mean that you bitch man Or whoever did it if this was a live event you know that you'd have shown up and been asked to move over

But you fucking had this system where you can fuck over another couple just so you can have that buffer of space Because you're self-terrified of getting within Unfoot of another person fuck you fuck the seed system It is fucking he's right it is fucking bullshit. It is fucking but the movie theaters putting on airs putting on airs Like they're oh we're basically like we're basically like a like a sporting event. You got pick your, you gotta pick your, it's like, you know, this is, it's like a plane. Coming to a movie theater is so fucking hoitty, toyty, they gotta pick your fucking seedin' advance. What?

I fucking love it. You fuck, you are a fucking angel. Fuck you. I don't want to fuck you. Yeah, I don't want to, I don't want to worry about shit. I know I can walk in there, I don't have to go sit in the theater fucking early, watch the stupid ass preview. I know I can walk in there. I don't have to go sit in the theater fucking early. Watch the stupid ass previews.

Anything I can walk right in. And just, just sit. It's like, yep, there's my fucking seat right there. I love it. I miss the slides. I miss that Monkey Howell do you? 22. 22.

Oh my god, you're gone. So you never experienced a movie theater with this this the ads where they were just slides Did you know sound before oh? It was my friend. It was a beautiful time in movies you get there early You could talk to your friends. They would show you trivia that a retarded person could answer correctly They would show you trivia that a retarded person could answer correctly. And every, you know, it was, it was just beautiful and they started. Yeah, it was like, who is this actor? Home tanks.

Yeah, like awesome shank. And they started, they started fucking it up as soon as they got video for the 20. As soon as they started doing video ads, that's when they started getting up their own ass and making the movies intolerable. Yeah. So that now it's a science eating. It's you can buy your snacks in advance. You gotta watch a goddamn,

you gotta watch an hour of video commercial. But so you're so exhausted from your line of percentile. You're fucked, Sean. Not a fear of the line of person. Have you ever been to those theaters that are now, it's like full service waiters in the middle of the movie? No. You know, I mean, you, so then have to spend the whole movie watching some dumb waiter bring

people as food going in front of me in the row is the whole time. I don't know how any, and of course the tickets are three dollars more than a normal theater. I don't know why anybody would choose to have this as their theater experience. I went to one of those with life coach. Oh, yeah. And you have to like peg and exit. Will they give you booze? Uh, yes.

Oh, yeah, but it's not enough booze to get, okay. I went to the service. The service is not fast enough. I went to see that shitball Tom Hanks movie about, uh, Sully, Sullivan Captain Sullivan Captain Sullivan, where it's not a story. There's no conflict. The guy landed it on the Hudson. Yeah, he landed on the Hudson and saved a bunch of people. They turned it into a movie and they they add all this extra bullshit to try to make

it a movie, but it's it's not. It's a fucking. Like the co-pilot was like, don't you dare do that. We'll never survive. Yeah. Shit like the like the safety committee goes, oh, well, are you sure that you needed to do that? We ran a computer simulation. And it was, you're like, just continued on your flight. It was, that was safer. It was stupid. And for some

reason, 80s girl wanted to go and I was feeling generous. I'm like, yeah, yeah, sure. But I had, I had all the intention of the world to get absolutely shit faced at this thing, right? So I go there and I say, yeah, let me get that bottle of wine that you got because they've got their snack bars, a giant bottle of a kindle Jackson or something like that. Oh, sir. So let me get that bottle of wine.

She goes, oh, there's a limit of one per person or something like that. I only need one bottle. And she goes, okay, here you go. She comes back with a glass and like an airplane bottle of wine. Like, are you fucking kidding me? I can't, I can't get, I can't even get a buzz off of this.

What sort of service, who is this service for? Someone who's just cosplaying that they drink wine. So I'm through that before the credits. I'm like, I'm not walking, I'm not gonna go stand in the never ending snack bar again. I'm not gonna wait in line for this entire goddamn movie just to get a buzz. It's the, the, the, the offering of alcohol at movies is farcical at best.

Bring a flask. Yeah, we used to do that. Yeah. Yeah. Anyway, there's a nightmare for people like you. Sean. Yeah. I like it. It's not. It's not. It's fucked. Why? I haven't heard of fucked reason. Here's why it's fucked, Sean, because you're wasting your money. If you buy a ticket online, you have to pay an extra $3 service fee. So now your ticket is going to be a cheat. I know, but people buy movie tickets. Can't remember the last time I paid. Can't remember the last time.

Yeah, because I usually get drug to movies. I don't really care about. So your girlfriend buys the tickets in advance. Yeah, I get all the advantages and then none of them. Yeah, none of the other drawbacks. Yeah, I get all the advantages and then none of them. Yeah, none of the disadvantages. Classic American. Yeah. Fuck everybody.

I'm white privilege entitled. Yeah, male. What a fucking jerk. Yeah. I'm the world's biggest enemy. Hey, Munky, do you want to listen to voice meals with us? Do you want to hang out in the voice meal? Oh, yeah, let's do it.

Yeah, it's fun. No, it's fun when he gets going too. Yeah. Yeah, in his videos, Mumpke Jones' video is like, he starts, they start out real slow and he'll like build the cases and then it's like that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that,

that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that to thedickshow.com, dick.showpatreon.com slash the dick show. See you next Tuesday. We're going to do some voicemails here after the break. This will be, I'm going to play, this one is by my room records. Oh, to someone who used to know what a sad tire is. My room records got an album now too small of an album. Check it out, myroomrecords.com slash the dick show. See you next Tuesday. No matter how much WIG or make up I put on, they ain't no ontma dude.

No matter how much WIG or make up I put on, they ain't no ontma dude. They ain't no ontma dude. Without that tired, you't be dead today. You'll be living in a more peaceful society without satire. What we should do is ban on satire. If it weren't for satire, think of all the extremists who be happy or too. Satire is the problem, though. As an American, as an American, I don't think anyone should be offended.

I think it's also a high right to be not offended. As an American, shouldn't we all just be happy? And not offended by anything. Never. Yeah, never. As an American, as an American. I don't think anyone should be offended. I think it's also my right to be not offended.

Not offended. Not offended. I'm getting my handcuffs ready. You got a gel. Better watch it. Thought police aren't going to be on it. There you go, Kevin. Oh, yeah, thanks, man.

Oh, fun cops. You're a cop. You're a cop. You're a cop. You're a cop. That's a never-bodies head. No. Thought cops. Thought cops!

Thought cops. Thought cops. Oh, net. Patreon.com slash.cobs. As an American. As an American. I don't think anyone should be offended. Formerly. Thought cops.

Wordpress.net. The artist formerly known. Yes. Wait a minute, Monkey, you did an interview with that the Pickle-Ree guy, right? Yeah, that's right. Yeah, I didn't know this until Monkey's interview, but that guy was just joking. What?

That Rick and Morty fan that jumped up on the counter of a McDonald's and was screaming, Pickle-Ree, I'm Pickle-Ree. Look it for good. That was all a joke. Oh yeah? Yeah, that was just a put on. Oh, I don't know that.

Well, now if I ever see it, I'll know it was a joke. Yeah. How you know, Sean. Now, you know, that's good. Hey, Dick, I've actually had a question for you. And go ahead, voice mails. Yeah, go ahead. Do either you or Sean remember back during the old show around episode 50ish at the end of one episode, you said, oh, this, this new listener called in and you left this big three minute voicemail of ranking all the funniest parts of the show, but it's too long to play now. I'll play it at next episode. And then what do you know? Do you know?

It was you week all week. I'm so excited. They're going to play my big voicemail next episode, not even fucking mentioned. No, do you know what episode it was? I can find it. It was around the 50s. I don't know. Oh, damn it. All right Let me remember my ranking of the funniest parts of the show

Give me a second to try to find it because I still have all of those voice mails Really and you know they're filed oh Yeah, dude, you've got them You probably shouldn't play it because I think I see my real name and I don't want to dox myself now that I'm on mute. No. Okay. I do want to know if I have it.

Yeah, Sean, what do you think I just roll in here and just kind of do whatever? Look at these fucking folders. He's talking the old show. I know. I got, I have had the same system for four years. I didn't know that you, you were in charge of voicemails for the biggest problem.

Yes. It was my idea that I had to fucking fight for because Maddox said, well, what if they're boring? And then come, come, come, cut them. You stupid asshole. What do you mean what if they're boring? That's a good idea. And all of a sudden it was the greatest thing in the world

and everybody's doing it. And he's like, yeah, well, you know, we like to, then all of a sudden he wanted to bring in voicemails. I remember. I said, you bring in shitty voicemails because you don't fucking understand the point of it is to bust balls, you dick. I remember when that started, all of a sudden,

it was like, oh, we're doing this little post show thing because it used to just end with the song, right? Yeah, exactly. And it was like, oh, this is cool. It's like a little part two of the show. Yeah. Yeah, it took a while to get that to get that going. I'm just curious now. I really want to see if it's If it's there

I'll fuck it. I'll look for it. I'll search the transcript. Don't worry about it. We'll play it next week. I'll play it next week. Nobody mentioned it. All right, I'm going to play, I'm going to play some Facebook news about that. Oh, yeah. I love this. Me too. Hello, Dick and hello, Dick heads. This is the Facebook group news for the last couple days. Clay early is back in the news as he hosted his semi annualannual breaking of the box's harvest, where he breaks down the pile of PBR boxes and his apartment that reached the ceiling. During the stream, Clay consumed five beers and three shots of Jameson. After the first and second shot of Jameson, Clay had to step off camera to puke.

It is worth mentioning that Clay likely began this stream drunk, but he can't really remember. Finally, Clay shared with me that it takes him about two days to get through a 30 pack of PBR and advise me to make better life choices. Demi and Aradondo asked their kids to vote on the worst call-in to date. The results are as follows. The furry who makes dildos with seven votes, stove with 12 votes, which is a preemptive hedge on the quality of his inevitable calling. He had a quaggle of 13 and had a mash with 77.

Lastly, we have Derek Barnes, whose brother got hit by a car while cycling yesterday. His rage was retarded people that don't know how to drive. Well, Dickhead's rage was quite the opposite. The thread begins and ends with people telling Derek such things as your brother is a cyclist who is probably his fault in some way. Your brother should learn how to drive a car. Tell him to get a license. Is your brother 12?

Does your brother have a DUI? Was he drunk on fireball? And one person asked Derek if his brother was all right, which Derek said, yeah, but he saw. Says Ben that it showed Facebook group news for the last couple days. Thank you very much, Captain Jack. Yes.

All right. Let me get some of these. I'm surprised they didn't have a bunch of polls about lowly con like they did on the subreddit. Oh my God. Some of those Facebook threads about the lollyshit are like, they're explosive. People are, people are very passionate about their opinion on it. I don't know, I guess I'm, I guess I'm not, maybe that's weird.

But like I said, still roasting my own. If I watch lesbian porn, does that make me a lesbian? That's what I want to know. All right, yeah. I don't I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding. It's not the same. I know I understand.

Hey Dick, hey Sean, it's Jay. You know what makes me a fucking rage? Bed bath and beyond. The whole store is this confusing narrow loop that's just openly hostile to men. Prices are in, dials are on marks, and there's no store directories, and there's no employees, except for the registers, which are stamped by a half dozen high schoolers, and they're clueless. When you ask a simple question, like like is this coffee maker in stock?

No, can you order it whenever I drive by one I feel my life force being leached away. Also do a road rage in DC. Thank you so much for the show. It is it makes the long drive back and forth. To work bearable. Hey, you're welcome. We've been getting a lot of requests for DC. Is that right?

Yeah. There's a weird feeling about bed, bath, and beyond. It feels like that game mouse trap. Yeah, I remember that game here. You've been in there. It's like everything's up in a while. The first time I went in there, I was very confused about how to navigate it. It's like, well, wait a minute, where's the grid?

Why does this feel like it was carved out by the elements? It's fucks going on in the store. It's like a big ring and then there's a bunch of little rings to go off of it. Is that right? Very odd. I don't remember the layout. Very odd, life sucking, draining store. A cheese draining store for your manhood. Okay. Hey, Dick, it's Trevor. You know what makes me a rage? Women wear hoodies or underweights.

So I work at a gym, so there's a ton of sexy women who go there. most of them have their bodies bad but it's always got to be defective to women with the baddest ass who are hoody around her waist

covering it up and it just makes me want to die because before when I can see from the side it looks amazing that I can't be the whole thing

if you want a fucking hoodie and I can wave to the gym yeah because you're wearing a fucking hoodie and I know a way for the gym Yeah, I look fucker you here. Oh shit I guess curves is making a lot more sense now When you think about it like that when you put it like that Hey, Jake what's going on? I've arranged for you which I mean everybody has raised about this before but Bullshit required classes for your major so I'm a computer science major and they're making us take up to I think discrete algebra or something

like that and currently I'm in calculus 2 and calculus 2 is a fucking bitch especially for somebody who is in inclined when it comes to math now for me i've already done internships at like proper fortune five hundred companies asking how much math i've used in my programming to fast zero no

fucking math was involved whatsoever why because they want higher up mathematician or something like that you know basically my job is to go in and Google a bunch of shit and then apply it in the programming and make that shit work. Or just, you know, get a fucking hammer and just beat that shit till it works. But you know the fucking girl. So I can't tell you how many of my fucking classmates or former classmates who are out in the real world now or... or mentors and my internship from like a so like how are you applying

your math that you are in you know yet why it is anybody learn algebra it's just shit one single fucking person it's same thing with physics it's fucking bullshit i'm not a physicist i'm not an expedition don't make me fucking take calculus. Just let me take some programming courses

and get that fucking piece of paper so I can contribute to society. I can get my money and start paying you assholes back. Why is it that the steel industry and manufacturing jobs are all jobs we don't want yet we still have to learn algebra if I get a differential calculus question I can pay someone an idiot to do it why isn't that the why isn't that the norm but I would just go through elementary school learning how to outsource everything because that's all we fucking do anymore why is one single kid learning fucking math for anything why Why do I need this math? Well, you need it to calculate your college bill.

That's what you need it for. So you can get fucked for the rest of your life until you're not stupid enough to understand that you're getting fucked. And then that's when we start fucking you in a different way. When you finally get your brain figured out to realize the difference between what is

and what is not the giant yoke of oppression that we put on you. That's when we switch it all around. That's when you've learned enough math. That's when you start, that's when you start needing to learn how to write checks. You fucking sucker. Monkey, did you go to college? Yeah, I wasted my degree in English and this works both ways because you would think, oh, you're going to learn English. You'll just read a couple books and you'll graduate.

But no, they expect you to get to take a religion course. You have to take a Spanish course. I don't know how Spanish is going to help me with my English. You have to, yeah, you take all this math and science shit. It's got a point that I always go into school to be an English teacher. So I don't know why any of that would be relevant to me, even in the slightest. It's just a big fucking scam. It's such a scam. You could just take the 12 courses you needed, then you would do that. But no, they want you to take 32 of them. Yeah. You know what's fun? Uh, high school. Yeah, we need, uh, you got to take a foreign language. Why? Well, if you take four years of it, you get to be in the honor society, then what?

Well, you get this sash. Like, they've been fucking badging us for our entire lives, have been focused on getting these fucking badges. And now, with the entire economy, economy has moved on to Twitch, where you do nothing, but generate fucking badges for yourself all day. All fucking to find me one person that explains why learning an embarrassing amount of Spanish is helps anyone at all.

Anyone. Now just keep writing checks. You stupid assholes. You were gonna be an English teacher? Yeah, and then um, it was, I made it to the final semester where you do your student teaching. And on the first day, I realized, no fuck this. It's my first day, huh? Because my problem is that I'm eternally 16 years old. So some of the kids I was going to teach look older than me. They're bigger than me in every way.

And there's no way I was going to earn their respect. And also I realized I just didn't want to do it, especially with how shitty teachers are treated these days or I guess forever. So I said, fuck it. I'll just do YouTube. And now here I am on the Dixho. Did you do you really think teachers are treated shitty? Yeah, I really do. Yeah, why? Just the way that they are they're underpaid and underappreciated, I think, especially with, but to be fair though, I went through all the courses. I know the next generation of teachers and a lot of those people are actually kind of fucking recarded.

Maybe they don't deserve more money. Yeah, it's tough. I've seen the people that are going to be teachers next year and they're fucking retarded. Yeah. I remember when I first took a gander at 80s girls paycheck, I was like, wait a minute, I was expecting much less than this for how often the news tells me you guys are oppressed. Are you guys aren't getting a fair shake? I know a lot of people who make less money than this.

You know what I mean? Sure. I just think the problem is when a teacher is expected to buy their own supplies for their students and stuff, I think that's crossing the line from me. Yeah, I agree with you on that one. I always wonder what percentage of the time that happens? Is that like, the media makes it seem like

it's like that's a widespread thing. I mean, does that happen? Is that a real thing? In my experience, they, like when I was a kid, I remember at the beginning of the year, we'd have to bring in like, Klingnex boxes and stuff to staff up the room for the year. Those are your parents.

Yeah. But then what if you don't have, like what if it's kind of school or you don't have parents? Like it's so, what do you mean where you're kind of school or you don't have parents? Where do you think I mean? Yeah, like a fucking ghetto.

Yeah, like where if it's a school where you got maybe one parent or the parents don't work. They can steal a Kleenex box on the way into school. Right. That seems like such a big part of the national conversation about teachers, like how the fuck are you gonna compare? How are you gonna compare 20 schools in Compton with 20 schools in Pasadena?

Absolutely zero comparison, but it's all just a big stat. Yeah. Yeah. It's funny imagining Momki teaching in English class to kids. That you barely escaped it. When I was, you have to go through all these courses. So there is footage of me like teaching a mock class out there somewhere.

So maybe I'll find that and send it to you. You can see what it looks like when a 16-year-old is teaching 15-year-old. It would be cool. Yeah, what? It would talk Derek. It's Angel Cakes. What's that, Angel Cakes? What makes me a rage?

Make me a rage is people who say, do you want to take the garbage out? You know, they leave it up to you and the only way that you can respond to that is You know you either tell them no You know like a dick you're a dick kind of medically. They're asking you for a favor Yeah, and you know, they don't have fucking manners, so you know, they don't have to ask properly and You say no and you're a fucking asshole or You you know you fucking get on your high horse and then you very constantly tell them It's not do you want to it's what you please

And you know either way you look like the fucking bad guy me. Well, you're just trying to fucking show someone to be fucking wall manner. I'm most passive. I'm not gonna be able to ask someone to take the other. I'm saying, yeah, asshole. Uh, your age. Why did you want to, why did you want to teach English? Mom, key. What was it about it that brought you over to English?

Because I'm bad at everything. You figured out a head start teaching English. I was like, well, I speak English. I could probably, if I can't teach English to a fucking 14 year old, then what can I do? Yeah, good question. The thing with teaching is all you have to do is be smarter than the kids. And I figured I could do that once a new, you know, every day for the rest of my life. Yeah.

Mm-hmm. Dick. What makes me a rage is I just heard tell that Generation Z is bored of the internet. Yeah. Fucking kidding me. Fucking sucks. The generation that this whole thing has been ruined for, that it's been sanitized and cleaned up and made advertiser friendly for these kids these assholes are bored of it

so out collateral damage good and all that have to be robbed of our fun and what the fuck i don't understand if this was the plan all along cleaning up for them, but now they're cool I like them and what was the point? What was the point of ruining the This is Fox go back yourself. Hey, good. I mean bagpages gone. What's the fucking point now exactly? I mean, back pages gone. What's the fucking point now?

Exactly. Whatever the next version of the internet is, we will know when someone runs a porn a hand job. Exactly. Exactly. That's when we're gonna, I don't know if it's gonna be a blockchain or maybe pigeons will fly from house to house dropping off content for us.

But the first time somebody sells a hand job on it, that's the new internet. Hand jobs, my opinion from pigeons Future economy it is it is the internet does fucking suck now like it's oh man It's just a bummer to be on seriously all the time go the same fucking reddit I like I know you do have your well-worn pathways, don't you? And life just turns into this malaise of cute kitten pictures and fucked ways to say dog and cat and like, oh, check it out. This is my puppy.

This is my puppy. This is my, this is my water dog. Oh, like this is, why am I, why am I looking at a picture of a weasel just because it's here? Like I don't go out of my way to look for pictures of baby weasels. Why am I trained to do it now? The only thing I watch involving like weasels

is like a weasel fighting another animal. Yeah. That's what I watch, you know, like it's nature shit. Animal battles to the death. Yeah. And that's the kind of shit I want to say. It definitely hasn't been sanitized for Generation Z. This is a, this is an hour parents thing. This is a John McCain's stupid ass thing talking about getting rid of hand job ads on the

internet. It's not, it's not Generation Z. Generation Z is not the sucker in this instance. It's the, it's everybody older than us. It's the baby boomers. And it's all fucking, it's all boomers because their parents don't know shit. They have no fucking idea what the internet is. No, they're definitely a generation tool to even delve into it.

Yeah. It's like, I'm at the end of my life. Like I'm gonna, I don't need this fucking thing. I've got a lot of my time hand jobs. Yeah. Yeah. Too much Lord to catch up on. Yeah. It's them and the guys who are a little bit older than us, like guys like Jack, the Twitter CEO guy, okay, that really think they're saving the fucking world from itself. That's their new goal in life.

All of these entrepreneur, all these web 2.0 storefronts to the upfronts, these fucking guy, everybody that fancies themselves, some kind of new age Rockefeller or Carnegie that read a bunch, it's like the new version of pulling yourself up by the bootstraps. It's like innovating through, renovating the planet through innovation.

Hi, I'm a butt fuck idiot and I invented a website that can help people communicate across cultures. Like the reason we have these borders is because we all fucking hate each other. There's no reason to communicate across cultures. I don't need to see a bunch of little kids in India talking to a bunch of little kids in America and then cheering it because one of these two people goes and drinks out of a river that people shit in and then gets recruited into a rape gang.

So let's stop pretending that you're blanketing the world and togetherness with your stupid teleconferencing. Fuck you. Yeah, you're on your sunshine and rape. Yeah, get the fuck outta here with this shit. Hey everybody, we're going to Mars. I promise you I'm not going to Mars. I promise you that.

No one's going to Mars. If you think you're going to Mars. I promise you that. No one's going to Mars. If you think you're going to Mars, I've got news for you. You're not. Someone else is. So why the fuck do you care about it? You know? Yeah.

Someone's fucking Scarlett Johansson tonight. Are you fucking thrilled about that? You're not doing it. Oh, hey guys, we got to all get together. So someone else can fuck this beautiful woman. What the fuck is wrong with you? Why do you care? Maybe Iron Man 2, Scarlett Johansson, but these days, she's not looking too hot. Okay, Lindsey Pellis, then, the Instagram model. I have no idea. Never mind. I've said too much.

Hey, Dick, I wanted to share a story with you that happened recently. All right. I mean, my buddy read a bar, getting drunk or whatever. And we get the dog in my politics. We're both pretty left, I guess. I don't know. I don't identify.

I don't really play for a team. I'm kind of a rebel, like a centrist, you know? No. Anyway, so we get the dog in my politics and we're arguing and shit and you know you argue about dumb shit. Obviously, Branson gets brought up and we're yelling and at one point in the conversation I gotta take a step back and realize I'm defending Trump.

I'm like, who the fuck am I? Where did this come from? And I realized it's fucking you. I was listening to the picture. I'm so glad that I have a little dip voice in my head now. That's sitting at the back of my brain saying, hey, Jimmy Dickett Trump's not that bad of a guy. So now, whenever I argue with people about Trump,

I find myself defending. You fucking asshole. You got me to defend the guy that I absolutely fight. What? Why? Why does, wow, man, I don't get that. I don't get how everybody hates the guy so much and he's like the new Hitler just overnight.

Like, give me a bucket. Well, the Hitler comparisons are out of control People the people who don't have any knowledge of history You know say things like that. Yeah Did you see people on Twitter were celebrating that Trump Tower was on fire? And they didn't give a fuck the people died. I saw that too like that. It's God people are getting getting real up their own ass about. I don't see how people can point fingers and call somebody Hitler and then celebrate

at somebody burning alive. Yeah. No, me either. Interesting. Well, it's what, yeah, it's what you feel, it's what you feel entitled to do. It's a, you're the good guys. You're the morally righteous. So, I mean, you know, it like, the, what we need is to disc, we need less connection.

Like, we really need, oh, we need a matrix that doesn't connect people and just lets them have their own little world. Yeah. Well, no, I know exactly what you're saying. It's because you you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you that interact with you. But God, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, but it becomes all such fucking assholes. Yeah. But don't you relish in just internet arguments and people hating each other, isn't it fun? Isn't that what the whole point the old show was, was just to go at each other's throats over dumb shit?

Yeah, and then it got out of, then we learned why that's not a good idea. I guess. Yeah. A lot of nerve, yeah. I do, I do, I do relish in it, but I don't know, man, I don't know what's wrong with me. I think the, when it was fun was when everything wasn't a,

like when everyone, now it was when everyone wasn't carrying around like a doomsday device where you get banned for going overboard with something like where you say you make the wrong comment and then your account is killed, all your accounts are killed. And you're like, well, I guess, um, that's what I get for just responding to a guy. I mean, internet. Yeah. But to be fair, you didn't know that shooting up YouTube was an option. Yeah, I didn't, you're right. So I didn't fucking know that. Yeah.

Uh, the NRA should have released a video like, like, like, like, ISIS when it happened, just taking credit. Yeah. I haven't agreed with any of their other videos. My world tries something new. Yeah. Like, everybody's already a lifetime member videos. My world tries something new. Yeah. Like everybody's already a lifetime member. They can't get a refund.

Right. Uh, I fucking sick. I have, Monkey, you thought that I saw you tweeting about that being a jilted lover. Yeah, that was my, as soon as I heard it was a woman, I assumed she was killing like a guy who she had a crush on in the office. And then a whole bunch of news stories came out confirming that, but then, of course, that was not the case. So I was very disappointed.

Yeah, me too. I saw, I saw a think piece after that saying, like, why were we so ready to believe that? Is it because of massage? And he's like, no, because you bitch, you're fucking crazy because you guys do this. Yeah. I want to know how she fucked it up. How do you not kill three people? I'm surprised she even shot herself.

Quite frankly. Is that what happened? I think so. Yeah, self inflicted. Yeah, I'm surprised. If you're in a crowded office with a gun, how do you not get even one kill? Like, what was she doing?

You know, I've heard that like cops miss 50% of their shots from even six feet away. Yeah, it's something like 10 feet or so. Yeah, it's, yeah, it's, it's crazy. It's like the stormtroopers and Star Wars. Yeah. Apparently, they weren't that bad after all, I guess. They were realistic. Well, the, the misses are off from the white people they shoot at They hit a hundred percent of the black people they shoot at to their oh you say cops are some cops cops cops. Yeah Andrew organ let me see your age When you said there in your space and out yeah the public space

space and out the public space. There's just like something weirdly interesting. You can't stop staring at it. But it's like too close to someone's face. You can tell they think they're just staring and you get to make it back to that. I have to do it. But then you can drift it off. And then some kind of thing.

Look at you and that thing. And it gets happening over and over. And you're like, you're going to turn out that. This will be all. That is annoying. They think they're so great. Like, hey, you idiot. You're not, I wasn't staring at you.

You're nothing. You mean nothing to me. You're just an extra in my life. Don't think yourself, don't think there's anything special about, that's what he's saying. That's what you wanna say to those guys. Hey, you fucking idiot. Don't think you think you're interesting. I was looking at that graffiti next to you. You're less, you're worth less than that to me. Don't you take away my

power from me? One more. What's the deal with lollipop we are i thought it was a lolly pop convention normally well that's how exciting i go uh... he went and where this convention of lolly pop that's gonna happen and let's just say i was disappointed

i'm like compelled to talk about that more but i think it makes everybody uncomfortable as i don't want to do it. Yeah, it does. I have a thought on it if you want to have me with friends. Yes, I do. Yeah. I was getting into fights on your subreddit with people just by having my opinion. And then they couldn't find a way around my opinion. So they started making up my opinion for me.

I think one guy tried to say that I am pro child porn now just because he had nothing else to say. So let me just break this down for everybody with simple words. The argument people want to make is, oh, you play Grand Theft Auto. So does that make you a murderer? Oh, I was going to need different from this. If you play it right. Yeah. Yeah. So the here's how words work.

Murder is when you kill a human being. Okay, so you play a video game that's not murder. Rape is when you rape somebody. You watch a TV show with rape, you're not a rapist. Pedophilia is when you're attracted to children. Yeah. So that's the difference. When you're looking at pornography,

depicting children and you're sexually aroused by the thought of having sex with children. Yeah. You are by definition a pedophile. You're not a rapist, you're not a criminal, but you're a fucking pedophile and you can't argue against that. It's the definition of the word.

Yeah, yeah. It's hard to argue that. Yeah, I mean, you can't argue right yeah, but it goes to it goes to this Prevasive like mind-readery that I try not to do because Like when I'm and I you know when I'm, and I, you know, playing Grand Deft Auto

and then saying, well, you're not a murder. I'm like, well, you know what? I can't say that, I would never do it. Yeah. That's right. And also, the other reason that I would not want to be a murder is because it's illegal, right? You know, what would be the old one a murder dick?

I thought probably pretty much everybody, if I had a button where you could just hit it and someone would die in you get a million dollars, I'd have a fucking money bin that I could dive into like screw to make a cut by the end of the fucking day. Give me that fucking button, I don't need a story, just bam, dead, bam, dead, bam, dead, bam, like the odds of it being my family or Sean is extremely low. Yeah, the risk. Yeah, there is, but man, I just, I keep thinking that there's something different between like, like when you look at a painting, it makes a different part in your mind work. Like the difference between like a paint,

like a people doing something, like if you saw people having a fight and then you see like a painting of a battle, you're not processing that as real people. It's like coming in as raw emotion. And I wonder how far removed from the physical, does it have, see, this is all interesting stuff that I can't talk intelligently about it.

It's, I would love to know. I would love to know if there's any science on that kind of stuff, what parts of your brain are most, you know, yeah. Well, I think at the end of the day, it's about the fantasy. At the end of the day, you're just jerking your cock to this fantasy of something. And this is the only legal depiction of this thing that you can acquire probably. So whether it's a real girl or not, and there is a big difference, like child porn of real people, that's, that's, it's, people are being abused, it's terrible. You're right. That nobody got hurt, but you

are still jerking your dick to the fantasy of sex with a child, which is why I call you a pedophile and not, you're not any, you're not breaking any laws, you're not hurting anybody. But you are still the dictionary definition of a pedophile. Oh yeah, that's, you know, that's in, without mind readery, that's inarguable. Yeah. The, then it makes me think this, like the cartoon, Lila from Futurama, you're like, you look at her and you're like, all right, nice cans, Lila, from Futurama.

You're like, you look at her and you're like, all right, nice cans, nice body, right? That's an attractive ball. Yeah, but then I try to imagine like a real person with a gigantic eyeball like that, and I think I would be immediately repulsed. Like, you don't even have any more. I'm not even horny are thinking about that.

Yeah, like that's the only thing I, like if you look at, like, the furry fucking porn people, like, bonitis are some of the most talented, have you ever seen what they draw? It's like, Jesus fucking crazy. No, but I understand that the furry art is like a fucking huge community. And they, huge.

Yeah, they're beautiful who are like, exceptionally talented at it and sought after. Yeah, and then like, they go beautiful who are like exceptionally talented at it and sought after. Yeah, and then like they go in their first suits and I think all right, well, that's not, it looks like a fucking mascot for like a Charlotte Hornets game. This can't be something else is going on in the mind where this is activating their sexuality that is devoid of reality. Yeah. So that's the only thing I, I, I focus, that's the only like thing that I guess I took

out. I have. Right. Exactly. Which is, God, I really hope that this is divergent from reality in a significant way where I don't have to, like, I don't know. I don't know. I don't know.

I think the reason why people are getting so defensive online about lollies and furries and that stuff is because they seem to think because we find it weird and we want to make fun of them, we also want to take it away from them. Yeah. And I don't think that's what anybody is saying. No. No. I agree with Digi Bros.

Original idea of like being upset with Patreon for banning this. Like I understand my Patreon would want to do that. But nobody's trying to take it away. We just want to point and laugh at you, because you're weird. Yeah, and it is also unfortunate that a reaction like that is automatically assumed to be one of censorship. Like, no, no, no, don't worry.

I want you to keep doing what you're doing because I enjoy making fun of people. Yeah. Like, I would like you to keep doing what you're doing because I enjoy making fun of people. Yeah. Like, I would like you to keep doing it because then I can just, then we both, then we both get to do what we like. You get to do your, you get to do your weird degenerate shit and we get to be bullies. It's a perfect, it's a perfect fucking system. It's a perfect fucking system.

Um, yeah, all right, man. I'm sorry to keep you waiting so much too, by the way. I really wanted to talk to you for a long time. Well, I'm not a patron. So how else am I going to listen to the show? No, come hang out. Come hang out again and we'll talk. Kevin, thank you for coming in. Yeah, thanks for having me, man. Seriously. Thanks for having by. I think my stories kind of real-rooted. They're all they're all full. Yeah, but you know, it's your fault. You shouldn't have you shouldn't have picked the time when you go to the club. I should have said something, but you know, this is escalated to a rap beef now. We've got people throwing down in the club. Yeah, and I'm going to start writing

songs about being in the club and throwing chicken wings and elbows in the club, calling the popo in the club. Yeah. Alright, alright everybody. Mumpke Jones, where can people go to see you? You'd stoop.com slash, I think it's just Mumpke Jones. I'm sure you'll have a link to it somewhere. Mumpke. You recently passed like 100,000 subscribers, too, didn't you?

200,000. 200,000, excuse me. It's incredible. Holy shit. Now his000, excuse me. It's incredible. Holy shit. Now his videos are fucking great. They all have that like slow burn and build and they start to, you know, pick up steam and that's a fuck ton of subscribers.

A lot of people. Yeah. Bigger than this, this, this po-dunk basement podcast, you know, going on over here. All right, man. You guys make probably 30 times more money than me. So who's the real winner here? Well,

all right. Let's see you, man. See you.