The Dick Show - The Dick Show 420

Episode Date: July 22, 2024

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Just don't be an idiot. Don't be an idiot. The problem is an idiot thinking don't be an idiot. Right. If you're an idiot you should think shut up. Don't talk to the cops. Just don't be an idiot. That's the real advice. Don't be an idiot and say anything dumb. The problem is everyone's so fucking dumb you can't give them that advice.

You have to say don't talk. Well people can't help themselves. They brag about it! They love it! You know the cop that we've both known for a long time. Oh yeah. People can't help themselves. They brag about it! Well- They love it! Uh... You know, the cop that we've both known for a long time, right? Oh yeah, let's give him a name. Yeah, what do you want to call him?

I don't know, Officer... Officer Friendly, wasn't that? McGruff? Now he's gotta have a crime name. Officer... Wasn't Officer Friendly a guy from... From Mr. Rogers? Well he played- he... He- Officer Friendly a guy from, uh... from Mr. Rogers? Well, he played, he... Officer Poppencock, how about that?

I got him into playing guitar and they started calling him at work, they started calling him the Hippie Sergeant. Sergeant, yeah, Sergeant. Well, he's got, it's got to disambiguate between the army and police though. True. Yeah, we gotta call him Officer, fucking officer, guitar man or something. Anyway. Sergeant Pepper.

Sergeant Pepper. There we go. Sergeant Pepper. That's not bad. Sergeant Pepper. Okay. That's funny. But, you know, he was, you know, talking about interrogation techniques or what, interview,

you know, they call them interviews, right? Yeah, interviews. But, you know, he said that one of the number one things that he learned, or one of the number one things, the number one thing he learned was that the cops... He's infecting you with his cop talk. Usually talk too much. Cops talk too much? When you're interviewing, it says most people, unless they're a complete sociopath, are dying

to tell you things and give... It's like they can't keep it in. So cops have the same problem that podcast hosts have. It's tough They should bring me in there to talk to police. You gotta shut the fuck up, man. You let them talk Yeah, and just little little things little interjections here and there so it's just yeah. No, no way I don't believe you because people have a tough time with silence Yeah, they do. So he said, you know, most cops fuck up by just talking too much and trying to get them,

no, like just say you did it. You know, just- Interrupting them when they're thinking about it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like they might give you something that is good enough. So the cops are getting copped at their own cop game. I guess. Yeah.

Here I was thinking that cops are like good interviewers. own cop game. I guess. Yeah. Here I was thinking that cops are like good interviewers. Of course they're not. Of course they're fucking dumb and they just want to talk. They just want to force it out of you. Well, like they're interrogating brought it out instead of just the nature of the oppressive monster that is sitting by yourself in his cell and heightened awareness. I don't know if it's kind of the like, well, I'm the boss in here, like I'm the authority

in here. So like, I know, I'm the boss in here like I'm the authority in here So like I know I know you did it Yeah, I'm gonna I'm gonna get what I want from you whether you want it or not And it's the wrong way to go about it. Well speaking of authority Sean All right, I gotta wake up for this one You missed two big weeks in American history I missed two weeks I mean it's been two weeks since I saw you last oh true. Yeah, it's been the greatest two weeks in our lives cuz we did

a bonus up. That's true. Check out the bonus episode. Yeah What was your favorite part of that? I'm the most litigious man that Maddox has ever met. The most litigious person. Oh yeah, because you talk to lawyers. Because I talk to some lawyers. Right, you talk to some lawyers, yeah. And I got sued. Right. By him.

Litigious. The most litigious. What else was in that bonus episode? He was saying some crazy shit. Yeah, I mean more of the same. More so than usual. You think so? He's getting crazier as the video goes.

The last two chapters are sure to be completely insane. Yeah. Like certifiably. There's two more chapters. 5150 evidence insane. Yeah. So nobody won, nobody lost. I love that one. That was the one.

That was a good one. Nobody won, nobody lost. Right. And I can refile again at any time. Yeah. Just not in New York. Right. So if any lawyer wants to sue in California.

Well, what's funny is I was thinking about that afterwards and he has at different times in the video, like appealed to his listenership for, if you know anyone, if you know, like, what do you mean if you know anyone? Like that's, people, if this were a case, they'd be dying to take it yeah but no you'll get the shit kicked out of you and you fucking know it deep

down so what you want somebody you want somebody who knows like a as they say in a Breaking Bad you know you don't want a criminal lawyer you want a criminal lawyer yeah you already had that one right that was the best he could do right and pull that shit in California. See what happens. Try that in a small California. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Try that in a small...

Try that in a... Oh, god. Oh, what are we gonna do today, Sean? I don't know. What are we gonna do? Thanks, I think. It's Jo-ver! Thanks, I did. Dick, Dick, Dick, Dick, Dick, Dick, Dick, Dick, Dick, Dick, Dick, Dick, Dick, Dick, Dick, Dick, Dick, Dick, Dick, Dick, Dick, Dick, Dick, Dick, Dick, Dick, Dick, Dick, Dick, Dick, Dick, Dick, Dick, Dick, Dick, Dick, Dick, Dick, Dick, Dick, Dick, Dick, Dick, Dick, Dick, Dick, Dick, Dick, Dick, Dick, Dick, Dick, Dick, Dick, Dick, Dick, Dick, Dick, Dick, Dick, Dick, Dick, Dick, Dick, Dick, Dick, Dick, Dick, Dick, Dick, Dick, Dick, Dick, Dick, Dick, Dick, Dick, Dick, Dick, Dick, Dick, Dick, Dick, Dick, Dick, Dick, Dick, Dick, Dick, Dick, Dick, Dick, Dick, Dick, Dick, Dick, Dick, Dick, Dick, Dick, Dick, Dick, Dick, Dick, Dick, Dick, Dick, Dick, Dick, Dick, Dick, Dick, Dick, Dick, Dick, Dick, Dick, Dick, Dick, Dick, Dick, Dick, Dick, Dick, Dick, Dick, Dick, Dick, Dick, Dick, Dick, Dick, Dick, Dick, Dick, Dick, Dick, Dick, Dick, Dick, Dick, Dick, Dick, Dick, Dick, Dick, Dick, Dick, Dick, Dick, Dick, Dick, Dick, Dick, Dick, Dick, Dick, Dick, Dick, Dick, Dick, Dick, Dick, Dick, Dick, Dick, Dick, Dick, Dick, Dick, Dick, Dick, Dick, Dick, Dick, Dick, Dick, Dick, Dick, Dick, Dick, Dick, Dick, Dick, Dick, Dick, Dick, Dick, Dick, Dick, Dick, Dick, Dick, Dick, Dick, Dick, Dick, Dick, Dick, Dick, Dick, Dick, Dick, Dick, Dick, Dick, Dick, Dick, Dick, Dick, Dick, Dick, Dick, Dick, Dick, Dick, Dick, Dick, Dick always is world-touring LA based comedian Sean the audio engineer always except last week Gonna be Harris Clinton or is it gonna be Clinton Harris? Who are you gonna be voting for this? Oh boy, this fraudulent election. Who's it gonna be for you Sean?

You're gonna be voting for the woman the girl boss in charge of the boss girl in charge Is that the slogan they're gonna go with? gonna have to do a lot of Is that the slogan they're gonna go with? Super cop, super crook, on one ticket together, girl-lady ghostbustering our way into the White House to take everything you got! Is that gonna be it? Biden retired today. Oh, did he? He's too retarded to run for president, but he's just retarded enough to be president

for the next six months months as it turns out. Yeah sure. Can't, I'm not running. Not, incumbent president, not running. My brain's too swiss cheesed and fucked up. Oh shit, are you stepping down also? No I'm, I can be president. What are you talking about?

Run for president? Well, you know, definitely, I don't know if he'll, you know, I don't know if he'll live through the next four years. God forbid, God forbid. Chaya's gonna call me and have you fired for saying such a thing. What, who? The right wing, this Israeli on the payroll of Mossad. He's old.

Taking over the right wing for various purposes. Getting Home Depot employees fired for tweeting that they wanted Trump to die when he got shot. Was this a podcast? Australia tried to... A podcaster? No, it's just this retarded yenta, this fat woman that speaks for the right. Oh, got it. Her thing started is just reposting what teachers say, libs of TikTok.

Oh, that's her thing? That's her thing. But now it's turned into anybody making anybody making fun of Trump's assassination. Yeah. Wanting it to have succeeded. Right. Which is, you know, it's fine. Nothing wrong with that.

Well, you know what? I want, that's... It's good to, actually, I like that you say it because you're making everyone think that you're all a bunch of fucking freaks. So I would like to signal boosted. I'd like you guys, the left people to feel more comfortable saying insane shit. Talk about cutting guys' dicks off, right? Talk about how you want people to get murdered.

Please let the people in the middle see you acting insane. Do not punish them for it because we live in a culture where victimization and victimhood is the only currency we have. Oh, sure. So please let them dump it upon us! Yes, I'm soaking into your sweet victim coins. Dump them upon me, I'll just make it rain. Yeah, it's like somebody-

Let them speak. Well, I'll give you credit for being consistent on letting people say whatever they want about whoever they want. Doesn't fuck, this shit doesn't matter. It does, it is like if somebody's saying a bunch of racist shit, don't you want to know? Like I mean it's

Most of my life has been trying to get people to admit what they really think I know you fucking I know you fucked up when you pulled me over officer just admitted right I know you fucking regret starting this fight because now you're wrong just admit that you're wrong most of our lives are spent trying to bully and harass people into admitting what they really think and then the second they do it's fucking punish them we should be giving them awards going around oh you're racist there's a fucking I said what I really think award there you go for actually some some kind of respect for actually copying to it yeah as opposed to tiptoeing around it. For God's sake! Yeah, we're-

For God's sake! Yeah, well. It's chover, Sean. It's chover. Yeah. The Joe-mentum has been Joe-cancelled. I think the, it's the, just the perception-

One scoop now, bitch. Now look- One term. One scoop. One term. He could, he could. Ha ha ha ha. No, he's always been,

he's always made his verbal gaffes, like his entire career. Yeah, but he's retarded now. You can't, and that's, say he's a lot better off than just, I don't think, I think he's senile, but. He got fucking bent over. Guys who do Parkinson's for a living are saying like, I can tell he's fucked up just by how he walks.

No, yeah. Cause he's like, like, regular. Like real doctors, you know? People who... Not like his wife. People who have seen people decline at that age, they realize that it happens very, very quickly. Oh, very fast, yeah. But yeah, I don't know what I was gonna say. Hey, you want some donkey jelly?

What's donkey jelly? I got a whole box of... They're like melted down donkeys. No. Put into a jelly form. What do you mean? It's a real donkey jelly. Take one a jelly form. What do you mean? It's a real donkey jelly.

Take one home with you. What is, is it a- It's donkey jelly. Is it like gelatin? Like a- It's gelatin that's a donkey. Sorry, that was kind of a weird throw. No, I should have caught it.

It's easier to throw. This is too close to throw. That's a donkey that was melted down for our amusement. Is this donkey jerky? It's no, it's, I wish. It's the same flavor of a donkey jerky in a jelly. It will make you throw up. Really?

And you just remember that it's melted down donkey skin and donkey- Well, is it hooves? Is it like gelatin? There could be some hooves. Well, there's gotta be some hooves in there. I'm not even opening this. I'll give it- Do it. It tastes delicious. No, if it smells- The best thing you've ever had.

I will barf. It smells bad, but it tastes different. No, bullshit. That's how they tried to... You know, some of these foods around the world that were made out of necessity during hard times, like Iceland has... Hukkarl, I think you pronounce it. That rotten fish? It's a Greenland shark. That's fermented Greenland shark, because it talks...

It'll kill you if you eat the meat without letting the, all the like the urea and stuff seep out of it. Urea. Yeah, urea. And somebody, somebody said that the trick to, well, I think I was surstromming, but they said it's somebody who described it like chewing on a urine soaked mattress.

Oh, that's pretty good. Yeah. And the, the trick to eating it is to throw up afterwards as opposed to before. So, you know, I mean, I don't know if this was like a necessity. It's not that bad. You gotta try a taste. Try a little lick. No. A little lick. No, I don't like the way this looks. A little donkey lick for you.

I don't like the way this looks. They got a nice texture in there, like an old fake wood paneling for Alexis or something. It looks like a marbling on a rib eye. Yeah. Doesn't it look good? What in there is a bone? What's a tendon? What's a hoof?

Don't you want to take a little taste? Not at all. Maybe what can we do to talk you into a little taste in the donkey jello? I don't like the way donkeys smell when they're alive. I can only imagine now. It's Jover, Sean. We're sending them back.

Oh, I was going the perception the perception is it doesn't it doesn't matter if he if he if he can put his You know if he can put his thoughts together in in private and he gets flustered in public or something If like if his mind is better than like what it appears, which it probably is not But it doesn't it's the perception of it and the fact that Yeah, if if I'm if I'm that if I'm a card-carrying Democrat, I am beyond pissed off. Like a retard card? Is that what you have? Look, we paid for something. This is what you gave us, and you gave us something last time. You guys should have let us vote on, like, R.I.K. or Bernie or somebody, you know?

Instead of you shoving this... He's the first one Instead you stole our election! You're supposed to just steal theirs! He's the first one... to step aside since Johnson, right? Yeah. Why did he step aside? Just because everyone hated him so much? That's crazy.

I don't think he ever wanted to be in that position. I don't know that he was told to. I mean, I know he's... God, that guy fucked up the country. If, uh, if... Almost as bad as all the rest of them. If, uh, if nominated, I know he's I think what was the guy fucked up the country if if almost as bad as all the rest If you know if nominated I will not run if I will not serve I think was his you know I don't think he ever I mean, you know, he got in there cuz fucking Kennedy got killed

He was just in there for the pussy. I think maybe I mean some some of us Yeah, some of us JFK's, know, seconds and stuff, you know? I mean, there's so many people going into the, in and out of the Oval Office, you know? Oh boy. Hey, get the shirt. There's a new fat shirt.

Shop.dick.show. Go there, get yourself a shirt. This week only, then I'm closing it. Get yourself a shirt, get the bonus episode. Closing what? Closing the shop for the shirt. Really? Well, I gotta close it and print it That's how it works. Oh, I thought you meant you're closing the store like you're not you're like you're not gonna sell shirts anymore

No, no, no everyone always they waits too long and then they miss the shirt and then they say they want to kill themselves So don't be like that. And yet they never buy the Greenland shirt. They never buy that shirt either. Yeah I'll probably go to jail. I'll talk. I'll talk We're saying don't don't do it. I could never buy that shirt either. Yeah. I'll probably go to jail if I sell that shirt. I'll talk. I'll talk. Mm, mm, mm. We're saying don't do it. I mean, do whatever you think is best. If there's no talking. I don't know, maybe you're a pedophile or something.

If there's no talking you out of it. Yeah. It's gonna be hilarious. Don't you think? Who would want to run against Trump? He's just gonna make fun of you for being like fat or having buck teeth or something. I don't do that I mean wait, I'll run the next one. It's fine. No, I mean, you know what though? I'm running his vans

He's like a stupid hillbilly. I just think that anybody who wants to run for president doesn't deserve my fucking time or vote or it's such a Fucking cesspool that fuck him. Let him go up and like you know what I wish I in this day and age I Think that Trump and Biden careful you might get what should should should should have both been canceled for kabuki face Because those are the two worst fucking face lifts I have ever fucking seen in my life They should they should be each if you know if they were to debate each other again They'll learn learn a an Asian language of their choosing come out insult each other in it and then both stroke out and die That's yeah, I

Can't even look at them You don't hear about their golf Blank or maybe they're always blinking. I don't know I was on PKA this week and they brought in like a hardcore liberal guy. Yeah. Like Destiny, but not as smart as Destiny. Yeah. And I went way overboard.

Oh boy. You know, hammering him on stuff. Cause I'm done. I don't want to even argue about like facts anymore. Well, I don't know if you ever did. Well, I mean, it doesn't matter. Hahahaha! Fair enough.

And people loved it! They fucking loved it! You know what? Fuck all this shit! Everything you're saying is fucking retarded. People like fighting, people like blow ups, people like... We're just sick of it. We're sick of these lies. It makes people feel a little more sane, I think.

To hear somebody get screamed at. Yeah, or it helps offset a little more sane, I think. To hear somebody get screamed at. Yeah, or it helps maybe offset a little bit of their own. This fucking guy said that LA was locked down for three weeks during COVID. I said, are you fucking insane? Three weeks? Well, what do you mean by lockdown? What do you mean by lockdown?

We were fucking, this city was dead Well, yeah, I'm like a six months at least yeah I'm going to restaurants eating sandwiches on the toilet in a fucking bubble I would I when he said that I lost it. Yeah, I mean fucking wigs Yeah, as far as you better not be lying about LA like that three weeks. Yeah, fuck out of here You know, we were illegally in imprisoned in our homes for three weeks? Yeah. What about the rest of it? Yeah, I mean, well, technically, I mean, like, I...

There is no, like, you know, you're gonna get arrested if you go out. What's a lockdown? Me not doing heroin at a bus stop is a lockdown for me. So we're still locked down as it turns out. No, you're even locked down your whole life. Yeah! I can't fucking take it anymore! I can't stand being told by some pencil dick

that I have ultimate freedom if I'm not doing heroin at a bus stop! You know, they, um, there's, uh, there are metrics for calculating, like, freedom and stuff like that. Who does the metrics, though? Well, no, I mean, there's different organizations and stuff and they figured out, well, they figured out

this is what it's, I believe that Switzerland ranks number one for like as- Freedom. Yeah, how free you are, how much government impacts your life versus like, how much- Can they say the N word or what? You know, I. Do they have it?

Are there black people in Switzerland? Oh, oh man, you can't be saying stuff like that. I don't know. I mean, maybe they don't know the word. But it's like, it's different metrics. I always think like that's interesting. Like what I've got to delve into it more, but it's like, you know, there's a lot of stuff.

There's, I think, but a lot of it has to do with red tape. Like, are you free to do like, and we know that it's like, you know, there's a lot of stuff. But a lot of it has to do with red tape. Like, are you free to do, like, and we know that it's such a- Can I put a pipe in my shower to make more water come through? No. Okay, well then. I don't feel very free. And you can thank the Boomers for the excessive regulations on everything in red tape.

This is the beginning. Departments setting up all kinds of departments to- This is the beginning of total boomer death. Joe's the first one. We're gonna bury you in your classic cars. You boomers understand that? We're gonna get a guy dressed up as Jimi Hendrix. We're gonna get a bunch of claymation guys,

a bunch of robots dressed up like your favorite 70s stars. They're gonna go into every town and go, hey boomers, hop in your classic cars and follow me. I'm interested. I'm interested. I'm interested to see. I'm interested to see. And I'm gonna drive you into a fucking nuclear waste disposal site in Nevada

and we're gonna fill it full of concrete. And then blow it up. It's already sort of happening, not really, but like the vintage guitar market. You're going to see because you've got. Is it crashing? You've got people my age who don't... People can make a ton of money not be able to afford shit.

Not that I make a ton of money, but what I'm saying is like... Oh, they're so outrageous. The guitars are so outrageously priced, you're saying. What I'm saying is those people are going to die. Those kids my age, people from 45 to 50, are going to sell all that shit. Yeah. So they're like, yeah fuck your 59 I need to afford rent on this. Yeah on this house that some shit bag bought 30 years ago And now yeah, I pay him what would have been the mortgage payment. Yes. What a great system. Yeah guarantees

That guarantees you found a little try them. They're trying over people who are the same as you know, what a fucking perfect system serfs Yeah, a bunch of fucking of- What a fucking perfect system. Serfs, yeah. We're a bunch of fucking- we're renting our fucking lives. But um- If only communists didn't fucking stink so bad and were retarded. They could express this in a cohesive way, but they fucking can't. Well, so I'm- Because they didn't arrive at this position through knowledge.

They arrived through hatred of their dad. That's the problem. That's the core tenet of liberals. Hating your dad. That's why everything they say when it is actually kind of smart sounds so fucking stupid. Because they're mad at their dad. Because they're mad at their dad. Well you can...

I love my dad so I can express their ideas accurately and with rage. How you express something has a lot to do with how it's taken. Man, just shout it. Almost everything. Shhh. Scream it right at people's face. Almost everything. So I'm interested to see, there's gonna be all these things-

It's hulkamania, Trumpamania, running wild, Sean, are you ready? We're all gonna rip our shirts off! Did you see that? The Hulkster ripped his shirt off and Biden said, I'm out. Yeah. I'm out. That's enough. His tits are worse than mine.

Yeah, I'm interested to see when all the stuff that the boomers have collected, when they're dead, what happens. You and Vito should put together like a crack team that travels the countries stealing valuable artifacts from the kids of dead boomers. Does he collect shit? He's obsessed with collecting things. Like a dragon with a horde of magic cards. Now he just wants to sleep on gold. Sleep on his special edition fucking six game cubes or whatever he's got. Yeah.

Right? Yeah. Charizard. Charizard. And a little hobbit has to sneak in there. Right. That's pretty good dragon storing, wasn't it? Pretty good, yeah, yeah, yeah.

You got nice and up on the mic, you got that little proximity effect going on, you got... I'd like to credit cocaine for this. Oh, yeah. Amazing vocal work. We're sending back, as I said, we're sending them back. We're deporting all the fat, a lot of fat women. Yeah. What, a lot? We're deporting, this is how Trump should be phrasing it, we're gonna send back some people and a lot of them are gonna be big fat women. Yeah. What, a lot? We're deporting, this is how Trump should be phrasing it. We're going to send back some people and a lot of them are going to be big fat women. We're going to start there. Right? Who could disagree with that?

Kamala Harris is going to be like, I don't want you to deport fat women and he's going to be like, come on, look at her. Right? There are going to be some other illegal Mexicans and Somalians in there too. But you know. It's Mexicans and Somalians in there too. But, you know. It's Mexicans and Somalians? Wherever the fucking Senegalese, whatever the pirates and the terrorists are coming from, Sean,

that are pouring in through the border, they're all going back. When has that ever got messed up? Country trying to do mass deportation, Democrats that are fucking up their system. That's never gone badly. Never gone badly, has it? From an elected official.

It's gonna suck to have a holocaust on a Republican instead of a socialist, but hey, we gotta break some eggs. Yeah, you know. These interest payments aren't gonna make themselves. The eternal optimist when it comes to his, this time it'll be different. This time. Australia tried to kick Tenacious D out of Australia for talking about shooting Trump. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I don't think they, do they realize that Tenacious D has like a, in their last album, they dress up as KKK members to sneak into the White House and assassinate Donald Trump Jr. I was at that concert when they debuted their Apocalypto music video thing. That's one of the songs. Where does the, do you think they're joking there? Well, you know, but that's something, that's fantasy. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Like it's.

It's like. Then you got the guys on. My first thought was like, Kyle, you're the one without the money. Like it's... Then you got the guys on... My first thought was like, Kyle, you're the one without the money. Like... Oh yeah. You're like, there should have been something in your brain that went like, you can't say the quiet part out loud.

He's the one with nothing to lose. Jack's like, uh bro, what are you doing now? Nintendo. I'm working for a fucking Nintendo. Yeah, yeah, true. Panda, or Panda fucking... Yeah, they actually got him true. Panda, or Panda fucking Kung Fu Panda. Yeah, they actually got him to do the last series,

which was he had never done one of the series, but I've worked on two series and he had never done, he'd only done the movies. Kung Fu Panda 4? But, is it great? Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Well, those are good movies.

Yeah. They're fun. Fucking Breaking Bad's in it. Oh, really? Duck Man's, little Duck Guy's, his dad or something, is a goose? Oh, it's the Panda's dad? Yeah Breaking Bad's in it. Oh really? Duck Man's, little Duck Guys, is Dad or something, is a goose? Oh, uh. Is it Panda's dad? Yeah, it's James Hong.

Yeah. Great. James Hong. He's a, There's even a part where chicks are doing action stuff and I didn't hate it. Usually a chick does anything in a movie and I'm like, I hate this.

I'm done. Yeah. But this was, has a lady. Starts to half stand up when you see a woman come on the screen. As soon as I hear it, yeah. Al, I'm like, oh, all right. They're all, trying to hit that old dusty trail here. Yeah, but this was has a lady half stand up when you see Yeah, I'm like, oh, all right, they're all hit that old dusty trail peg Bundy to you But this one I was sat there. I'm like, wait a minute I think it's cuz it's like a tiger or something it kind of like short circuits. I Did I see if I see a woman I'm out before she even starts talking

But if it's a but if it's some sort of Yeah, or you should explore that in therapy What are you gonna do give you bring in a tiger? They're just gonna cry about fucking Biden and Trump the whole time and there probably that's all that happens in there And then you got the right is like this is this is a this is proof that God exists Oh, yeah, like wow God like yeah, God made that little God deranged that little boy. Yeah, like that picture they show him makes my heart hurt. Like God messed that little boy up with a bunch of ladies and psychiatric drugs and the FBI fucking scrambles brains and social media and television and shitty parents and try to kill the somebody that

everyone loves. And then somebody that other people love died, like his head exploded and that's God? You looked at all that and you said that God exists? Why, because you're happy Trump didn't die? That's fucking psychotic, bro. You need to go to therapy and explore what you think God is. If your takeaway from that is that you thank God that every day that he exists, something's wrong with you!

I have nothing to add Whoo Funny though Jesus funny though, isn't it? It's just getting worse and worse Your shot just getting worse and worse Yeah Shout out to John at Home Depot. I was at Home Depot, you know. Yeah, as you, as all homeowners need to go.

Like if you're not- Kind of do. You do, because- I'm always ending up at Home Depot. You have to, whether, if you've never fixed a thing in your life, if you own a home, there's going to be certain things where you're like, um, I have to be able to do this.

You gotta be able to fix it three or four times. I had to replace my garbage disposal this week. I found out because it's been leaking for, I guess, months. And the under-it's all fucking corroded and all out. And it dripped down into the wall below. I was like, oh fuck, for fuck's sake. So I go there to get some stuff to repair it. And a fan at Home Depot.

Wow. He's like, hey, are you Dick Mash? Yeah, I am. You know, there's a lot of weapons around here. Can you tell me if you're a fan or the opposite quickly, please? Right. Gotcha. So I can put the hair on the back of my neck down.

Right. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I work here. I'm like you work here Yeah, this is the Home Depot. I'm always fucking complaining about by the way Can you fire all the women that work here? But because they're women not because they're celebrating the assassination Trump fire them from Home Depot because they're women Not because they're celebrating Trump getting shot at what if they're bad at their jobs is he in a management? Necessarily I don't know I assume. He wasn't wearing a smock.

If you've been there for longer than three weeks, I think you're, you know... I know he didn't work there because he came right up to me. Nobody, you know, if you're at Home Depot, nobody that works there has ever come up to anyone and asked them... No, you have to find them. Yeah, you gotta track them down like you're a fucking manhunter. So he doesn't work there or he does? He does work there. He does, huh?

He said he worked there. And then you're never gonna... He's lulling you into a false sense of security, then for the next time you go, hey! And then I get a tap on the shoulder and I hear, hey, uh, it's good to see you too! And I turn around and it's fucking smiley. No! He goes, oh you don't call me for a long time! I'm like, you gotta be fucking shitting me. Hey you, guy that works here, do not let this guy into the store here. He puts shit on upside down and backwards. He puts shit on upside down and backwards. Eeeah.

Eeeah. Uh... Eeeah. I don't know. What makes... Does anything make you a rage? You're gone for a week. Uh... How'd that feel?

No, it was fine. I mean, it was... I was tracking drums. Oh. That's cool. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It was nothing, I mean, you know, I mean, everything makes me a rage, but remind me to do a guitar talk today. Oh, okay.

I don't think I have that on the board. Oh, that's all right. I mean, we'll do it later, but I- I'll find it. I really, Andrew called in on the bonus episode and he said something at the very end. He said, Sean, and I couldn't understand what it said, but I played it back at home.

He said, he said, do guitars, man. So I was like, yeah, yeah. I thought about that. I thought, shit, I haven't understand what it said, but I played it back at home. He said, do guitars, man. So I was like, yeah, yeah. I thought about that. I thought, shit, I haven't talked about that. I guess I do get emails where people are like, yeah, I like it. I don't. Here's Sean's guitar talk.

There must be enough like nerds who like, you know, facts and figures. No, no, no, it's not nerds. It's that we want to hear something that's a man is Passionate about and know everybody men and women want to hear a guy who knows a lot about something and is not Bullshitting them about it. Well that yeah, I I Can't stand just know a lot about this and I like talking if there's one thing I can't stand It's just it's bullshit. Like I you know

That's a when you're because of kind of the way that I was raised so like it's out of that. Yeah, I mean it's just, it's bullshit. Like I, you know, that's when you're, because of kind of the way that I was raised. So like it's- Being shouted at. Yeah, I mean, it's, yeah. I mean, the truth was not the truth, depending on how somebody felt. So it's like, you know, it's, I don't have, it bothers me when it's like-

People are lying. Well, because people just kind of go off and start filling in the gaps and especially now it's worse than ever. It's like, it's just, it's just been, it's insufferable. I mean, it's- That's what I was yelling about on, I mean, PKA and they're like, when the end result of the argument is

I'd be open to, this guy says to me, I'd be open to, you know, a scientific study saying that, you you know kids shouldn't be chopping their dicks off I'm like alright. Well, I don't think that Yeah, you need a study for that. I just you know one of those things You guys really need facts on everything My stance has been that that's one thing that you want to be you know want to double triple maybe even quadruple check You know I don't need a check. That's my policy. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

I don't even like the bit that they're cutting off now. In fact, I wish they would stop chopping that off. I don't need any studies for that. But there are, that is, fewer people are circumcised in the US now than they were when we were, right? Because immigration? What do you mean? No, no, no.

Is that going out of favor? I think so. I don't know by how much, but I think there's enough talk about it you mean? No, no, no. I mean, I think going out of favor. I think so. I don't know by how much, but I think there's there's enough talk about it where it's like, yeah, why are we? Do we? Is this? Does there gonna be a last one of those or do we have to do that forever? I don't know.

Like, is there gonna be some crackpot where women are smuggling their baby, their little boy babies in to get their dicks chopped off by some kind of robot with laser beams or something? Robot robotic made by a robotic a... Robotic Jew? Robotic dick chopper. Robostein. Oy vey. Beyond it.

Let me see the... I'm the moil. Yeah, it'll be like a telemark... It'll be like a, you know, infomercial. Are they gonna start cold calling? Are the moils gonna start cold callingcalling when the business dries up maybe Holy like an Indian Indian pretending to be Jewish. Oh, yeah, exactly. I like the Indians I want to do you a mitzvah named Kevin who yeah from Dallas. Yeah, bro. You could have picked any other state

Yeah to pretend to be Kevin. Yeah Went on a we wanted a dog vacation. Yeah, yeah. Um... Your name is not Kevin. We went on a... we went on a dog vacation. Yeah! It's actually great. That's a... Santa Barbara? Man, oh man. Nice town.

I didn't want to leave. That's funny. I did not want to come back here. You're such a dog owner. What? It's almost... It's funny. It's fun.

It's almost cute. Because when you don't have these fucking people and their fucking dogs and the... But... No, no, I don't do any of that. It's the difference between LA and Santa Barbara and you know most... California gets a lot of shit, but you know, it's better than all the other states except for LA and San Francisco. Well, it should be either nuclear bombed or walled off. California is a... It's a deeply red state other than those two liberal shitholes. In the smaller towns.

Mm-hmm. I mean like the rest of the country... The bums won't even look you in the eye. California is a big place. Yeah. You really can... it's like going through multiple states in one state. They shit... they've got to cut it up, man. They gotta carve it up. Yeah, you know, I mean- You gotta scoop up San Francisco and LA. It's been talked about. Put them in the ocean.

It's been talked about. And then split California up so we can't do this high-speed rail shit. I know. So we're there, and the difference between, the difference between LA and Santa Barbara is the dog beach in LA is fat lady pit bull, fat lady, fat lady pit bull, fat lady, fat lady pit bull,

fat pit bull. And then Santa Barbara, it's like old white lady, golden retriever, old white lady corgi. Like, man, is this what heaven is like? Yeah, I did feel it. Free parking. Is this heaven? Everywhere. No, it's Iowa.

Avocado spilling off the toast. Right, right. Bums not even... I got surprised that a bum was there. I was talking and then noticed at the corner of my eye, like, ah! A bum! That's a beach town though. Usually bums are like, blablabla, you know,

screaming at you. That's a beach town. They all have bums. We gotta do whatever we can do to make America Santa Barbara. Oh. That's what we gotta do. We gotta give everybody a shit ton of money. We're already doing that.

It's not working. Well, you know. Okay, let's see what else. There was Disability Pride Month there too. Really? Yeah, I thought it was like, Let's see what else there was disability pride month there too really Yeah, I thought it was like there was like banners of like the wheelchair man in Santa Barbara Hanging everywhere like a Nazi rally for the crippled like the blue giant the wheelchair man Yeah, you know the wheelchair parking man like hey man Oh, you're over here. You know that got there was like a you know like a hey man, I'm gonna wheelchair over here. You know, that guy, the blue guy. I thought there was like a wheelchair man.

Man? Yeah, like. The wheelchair man. The little blue wheelchair man. I thought you were talking about maybe he's a special Olympian or whatever, or Paralympian. Well, that's what I thought. I was like, what is this thing?

But they literally just show the symbol. That's all you're saying. I didn't know. The handicap placard. The wheelchair man was all over. Like, giant blue banners hanging from every street corner like a Nazi rally Not being able to walk is not the only disability right? That's but it's the only it's the best one they have well I mean, it's the one people think of

Other like what do you yeah handicapped you think probably in a wheelchair? Yeah, otherwise like okay? Give me a break right? Let me I'm trying to get the, I got some stuff on it. So, we're like, what's going on here? Why is there a wheelchair man everywhere? Yeah. And I thought, like you thought it'd be the Paralympics. Yeah.

You know, or something, something to celebrate, you know? Right. Like, why you got all these banners everywhere, right? Yeah. Gay pride is over, and you got a little wheelchair man there. What are you talking about? Then we're driving home, and there was a car dealership that said,

July is Disabled Pride Month. Something like that. And there's like a woman, and there was a woman in a wheelchair, and a man was kissing her on the head, and she was wearing a birthday hat. It was like a Honda. It was a grown man and a grown woman? The woman's age was questionable. Yeah. I thought it was his daughter. Well, I don't know why her, why she was having, wearing a birthday hat either. Well, because it was her birthday. What does that have to do

with being disabled pride month though? It doesn't, but it's like... It's like the anniversary of her wheelchair? No, it like humanizes. Being disabled? It's like, well like well look they celebrate birthdays too like they're just like you and me. They're just like yeah But I knew that already I know but I think people don't kind of they almost think like oh man Like you think of them as like different like different in a it's like no they like different like aliens like they don't have a birthday I think some people maybe do like Like maybe they're just like, ah, like, you know, like maybe something else is going on. I don't know. People are pretty stupid. Well, you know what though, speaking of stupid, they put our new Pilates place just opened up. Yeah.

The fucking parking lot was amazing for about a week and a half. Oh, really? And then they wiped out two of the spots with handicap parking. Yeah. Why is there handicap parking? And then they wiped out four more of the spots with handicap parking. Which, why is there handicap parking? And then they wiped out four more of the spots with like, this space is reserved for the fucking boutique next door.

Oh yeah, I know, that's always a- Fucking cocksuckers, man. That nobody goes to. That no, yeah. No, they need one parking space. There's never more than two people in the store. It's parking! Anybody, no one's driving their car here for fucking fun!

Right. Okay? Right, right right god damn Yeah, I agree that drives me crazy. There are some I've seen some some parking lots that the amount of handicapped spaces like far The ratio was wrong where you're like there's no way guys. There's a CVS right there You guys can't fucking wheel over for your Pilates class. I mean, it's some things, it's like, yeah, I mean. Give me a break. How handicapped can you be and do Pilates? I mean, I don't, there's women fatter

than I would have thought possible doing it, so. When did they start getting handicapped placards? Do they get them already, fat women? Do you think it's temporary handicapped, like temporarily handicapped people? I was using mine for that. Yeah. Yeah, I was parking them. The red, you need the red placard.

Yeah. That's great. Just show up whenever I want. No, I knew somebody who had one and used to go to Dodger Stadium. You park where the players park. It's the shit. All right, let me pull up. Because it's the worst parking lot of any sports stadium fucking ever. I know, you gotta hike so much too. Oh, it's the shit. All right, let me pull up cuz it's the worst parking lot of any sports stadium

I know you gotta hike so much too. Oh, it's insane and that fucking son of a bitch Frank McCourt still owns that part of it He does the park is shit who decimated the Dodgers from Boston. You have of course an asshole We're still paying him still paying him to park at the shittiest parking lot ever. So then I found this it says July is Disability Pride Month. Then I found out that all the handicapped man was around because of disability pride that they're saying. Yeah, disability pride, right? But it's right after gay pride. Don't you? Did disabled people get a say in that? It's like well I don't know. So as right at- What are you saying?

One causes the other? It kind of seems like that. Well, cause the gay people are still like all pride crazy on like July 1st. So are disabled people- It's supposed to cut out, everybody has a calendar on their phone. They can, you know-

That's not how life works though. Oh yeah, but it should. The colors blend together. Oh yeah, it's, yeah that's- Don't you think it's a little like kind of a fuck you to the disabled people to butt up like- No, why? No pun intended. There's every- everything has a Pride month, right? You gotta- So put like, I don't know, put another group

What, in a buffer? A buffer group? Do you really- like first of all, it should be- it doesn't need to be named disabled pride month. Like it should be disabled like awareness month Well that naming it pride makes it also seem gay now. You're saying it's now arts a gay Disabled month is it for gay disabled people no they're going like shooting guns in your wheelchair Some people no matter what some people are gonna. Go. Oh wow it's it's gay people disabled month now, right? That's great Right, that's it for you run a risk It's gay people disabled month now. That's great. That's funny. Right? That's a- you run a risk.

Because they put it right up against the gay month. Yeah, Pride is a- it's- I get why they do- you know, awareness. It's like, yeah, we're aware, but Pride is celebratory. I'm proud of this little arm. Awareness is like- You know, you can be proud of sucking guys' cocks, getting fucked in the ass and stuff, that's cool. People are beating your, or if you're a lesbian, beating your wife, you know?

Let's celebrate who these people are. People are proud for a lot of good reasons and a shit ton of bad reasons. It should be called like- You should not be proud of that. It should be called like, Disability Goddammit Month. Every disabled person can go like, Goddammit. Yeah.

You know? Something different that, it just seems like they kind of repackaged gay month. God damn it month every disabled person go like god damn it. Yeah, you know Something different that it just seems like they kind of repackaged gay month Well, and disabled people but they didn't take enough of the gay stuff if we know one thing It's if one thing latches on there's a million things just like it right behind it I'm just and they got a little rainbow of their own. Isn't that kind of gay? That's gay. Is that so not a correct rainbow. Is this really their, um... I don't know. I only learned about it because of that Honda ad. And Santa Barbara. See, I didn't know that there were colors.

They got colors on their flags. We're really big. I think, like, maybe everyone in America is autistic. Like, they do like the color, like, break it, you know, and everybody has to know what those colors mean. I think autistic is starting to mean stupid. No, I... I... I... So they got a flag, and they can't do like fun stuff

like stars anymore, you know, like, it's all a gay flag now. Oh, we got all these colors and they're all in a line. It's like, we can have like, you know, a hammer up there. You know, you could put anything, it's a flag. You put whatever you want up there. You could put like a tiger or something. Or, you know, you could put anything, it's a flag, you put whatever you want up there. Yeah. You could put like a tiger or something, or a, you know, a lady getting shoved down the stairs to celebrate something, right? You could put whatever you want in the flag, it's so fucking boring,

everything is a gay power flag. Is that abortion pride month down the stairs? Or the, it's up to you. Abortion could be a disability, or pregnancy could be a disability. So the green is sensory disabilities. Blue is emotional and psychiatric. The blue's for women. Oh no. It's mostly for men, they just don't know it.

Alcoholism. Yeah, blue's for alcoholism. White is for invisible diabetes and undignosed. Invisible disabilities and undignosed disabilities. Invisible disabilities and undiagnosed. Invisible disabilities. Like a sickle cell or something. You know what I mean? Black people are very visible, trust me.

Well, but the shape of the cells is not. Oh, it's invisible? What is sickle cell? It's the, I don't know if it's red blood cells or whatever, but they form, they form, instead of being like round, they form into like a sickle shape and they like get clogged up in places, I think. They're like half moons, like Lucky Charms? I think so. Wow. Yeah, I think so. So it's, you know, but...

Well, physical disability is... Undiagnosed. Now you've got to be, if you're, if you're... Physical disability is all the way at the bottom. If you're not- Well because that's old school. Everybody can see- Yeah, we know about ya. Fucking wheel- It should be the wheelchair man. Wheelchair man is the flag.

This bottom one is kind of- Mourning and rage for victims of ableist violence and abuse. Mourning and rage? You got a rage flag? Wow. Yeah, that's not very good. And for ableist- Like how how much they're gonna put little like On the chairs out of rage like violence. Yeah, I mean, yeah, I don't these beating up. Yeah people or something Yeah, maybe so are they talking about Anne Sullivan parading Helen Keller around and pretending that she's talking about liberal causes

Take this poor retarded girl around who can't talk and pretend that she's saying like, oh yeah, we got to like vote for fucking Democrats. Everyone, that's what she's fucking signing to me with sign language that we only, we know each other. Helen Keller and Coco the gorilla. Yeah, they had quite a conversation about how Rockefeller's destroying the planet. It's really-

And that we need a federal reserve to come in. It's really kind of amazing like- Regulate homeownership. What a kind of what a dupe Coco was. Yeah. I mean, you know, there's been interviews with ASL, you know, experts, things like that. It's like, it's very clear that the handler,

Mm-hmm. Making shit up. Didn't know anything about sign language. Mm-hmm. I didn't know there were dialects of sign language, like things like that, you know? Oh, really? Yeah. Like what?

I mean, like you'll use different things. Like in the South? Yeah. Like it'd be like, sloppier? I mean, I don't know, but it's like- Do gay people sign, have different sign language? That's, these are actually good questions. Yeah, but I'm the asshole for asking good questions.

Well, I don't know. I'm interested in that kind of stuff. Let's see here. We got a drunk national anthem. Did you see that drunk girl that sang the national anthem? No, I did not. I think it's great. I mean, I think you should have to sing it drunk.

I'm sick of people singing it well. Once Roseanne Barr did it- That was amazing. Well then like, it's great. I mean, I think you should have to sing it drunk. I'm sick of people singing it well. Once Roseanne Barr did it. That was amazing. Well, then like it's fair game and you kind of get what you deserve. If you don't vet the person, you're really drunk. She said she was. She says, I'm not going to bullshit y'all last night. Oh, boy.

I was drunk last night. I'm checking myself into a facility today to get the help I need That's that's and that's just for being a woman. That's not even related to the alcoholism. That was not me last night I apologize to MLB all the fans in this country. I love so much for that rendition I'll let y'all know how rehab is I hear it's super fun. Yeah, it is. Everyone's just doing drugs and getting wasted It's a fucking expensive hotel for narcissists. Oh boy Where is it? Oh, come on! You didn't link it? Mm.

Flubbed performance, okay? You wanna hear some of it? Yeah, who is this? This is a... Some chick. Oh. God damn it. Drunk national anthem. There you go. Uh, just all bullshit.

I know. I was drunk. I bet it's not I bet this isn't even right here. We go talking about talking about it Yes, that's right Sounds like she's getting fucked. She's getting the words though. Oh boy. No, those are gunshots. Where was this? Texas? Oh, you say Texas. Oh, man.

Whoa! Whoa! Wow! Whoa! She's a mess. She's not drunk, she's just trying to do that thing chicks do. Every time they sing they're like, ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhuth I don't know who this is, but can she really, I don't know if she can do this. In the hall of the brave Do you think, I don't know who this is, but can she really, I don't know if she can actually sing. She's a country star, so I assume she can't. I mean, why would any of them have to sing at her? I don't know that I've ever heard anybody's, any real singer's pitch move that much because of alcohol.

Well the choices are insane as well. Timing, slurring. I could see you going places where... Those are bad choices for singing. They are, but drinking can make you make some bad decisions. That's true. What I'm saying though is like just basic things where she's sung it traditionally, she's just way off. Yeah.

And it's moving. Like it's weird. I love it. How much is she a product of packaging versus what actual talent is in there? But I don't know who she is. We should get one drunk anthem every once in a while. Sure.

Well, Stevie Ray Vaughan was all fucked up playing it at the Astrodome and he got booed. drunk, one drunk anthem every once in a while. Sure. You know? Well, Stevie Ray Vaughan was all fucked up playing it at the Astrodome and he got booed. Oh, he was? Yeah. He got booed? Yeah. He played it on slide and it was cringeworthy.

It was brutal. This is in like the mid 80s before he got clean. Let's see here. We got a Majorca saying something. Well, you know, Trump, he got shot at and then a bunch of women hid. Do you see any of the shots of all the women surrounding him?

No. He had a bunch of five foot four. I saw, I mean, I saw a couple in pictures and stuff like that. Yeah. So the Secret Service put out a statement. Or what is this guy? Secretary of the Homeland Security.

Oh yeah, remember when we didn't have them? Remember that? Wasn't that great? Yeah, I think, wasn't Tom Ridge the first one? Yeah. The straight under Bush. Yeah. Yeah, director of Homeland Security.

Yeah, cause we got hit and Didn't have a plan. So we just did something totally retarded Well, and we're stuck with it now forever TSA yeah Trump remembers before we had this. Oh, I remember why does an ego like well, let's get rid of this We don't need this is dumb. We don't need this shit It's one of my biggest fucking rages is the TSA The only thing they've been proven to do is steal. Yeah. Yeah, every time they test them Yeah, can they get whatever through they fucking want? Yeah

Cuz they you can't scan everybody and we've infected other countries yeah, where we have like a we have like a like a diplomat from the screening Americans who are flying back home. They all have goofy equipment. Like you mean you guys have been doing this for 20 years and you haven't figured out the best equipment yet? Yeah, I don't know.

That's crazy. Doctors office, dentists all have the same shit. I go to one dentist, other dentist, all got the same stuff. Even if it's new stuff, they got new stuff. You guys have some kind of weird foot jiggling machine here in France? That's a bit odd, don't you think?

How much was this? I'm guessing a lot. So they... he responded to the assassination... ...thusly... attempt. In the days following the attempted assassination of former President Trump, some people have made public statements questioning the presence of women in law enforcement. Oh... Some people have made public statements questioning the presence of women in law enforcement. Oh, I don't know if it was questioning. It's more like vilifying, excoriating, probably. That's mocking.

Well, not questioning. That's definitely not questioning. I have no questions about why women are in law enforcement. I would guess the people making statements were not stating them in the form of a question. Right? I would guess the people making statements were not stating them in the form of a question Right sorry that my shouting was not you took a question from that I'll correct myself in the future these assertions are baseless and insulting They were intended to be they were intended to be insulting certainly every single day in Communities big and small across our great country women are serving serving in federal, state, local, tribal,

territorial, and campus law enforcement. They're very highly trained and skilled professionals who risk their lives on the front lines for the safety and security of others. And they are brave and selfless patriots who deserve our gratitude and respect. That's fine. All I'm saying is stop. Don't do that. Don't risk your life. Just stay home. Do something else. Anything else. It's a thankless job. You know, in the in the 90s we would even be, everyone would talk about this openly. It's like, what do you mean I'm gonna call the fire departments? A woman's gonna show up and what, carry me out of my house? I don't think that's happening.

Well, that's always been- That's gone now. That's always been like an argument that I heard growing up and stuff. Yeah, they got rid of that argument. Yeah, it's like, look, hey, there's blatant physical differences and it's literally, if you're unconscious,

I don't know how you can, and there's a 200 pound man or 110 pound woman, and somebody's gotta pull you out of there, I know who I'm putting my money on, for being able to get it done. Imagine that you're in a foreign town and they gotta drive you to a hospital. Oh, you're gonna bleed out.

Very funny. You're gonna die of old age. Very funny. You know? Unless the guy gets lost and he won't ask for directions. Who's navigating? Another woman? Whoa!

No! I'll walk! I'll walk! I'm bleeding! I'm gonna walk my ass to the hospital, right? Oh, God! Don't worry, I got some little kids around me. Who can keep me safe.

We in the United States Department of Homeland Security, the largest law enforcement organization in the federal government. Oh man! How do we feel about that? Good? Have our homelands been being secured? What the fuck are you talking about? Will, with great pride, focus, and devotion to a mission, continue to retain and elevate women in our law enforcement ranks.

Our department will be better for it and our country more secure. It's great. What? I just don't know why like. You don't know why? I guess people. I guess people. Well, I guess people just,

they can't just ignore the noise. You know, like, I mean, I guess they're, everybody has to. They're. This is an ad for them. But there has to be, there has to be. They like this. But I mean, there has to be like an official statement.

No, I know, I'd say- This is good for them. Yeah, I- Their side believes that women and men are, that the only reason women aren't at 50-50 in the MLB is because of sexism. I mean, they're- They really believe that.

To the, to the extreme, the extremists on that side, I believe, do believe that. There's a lot of extremists on that side, I believe, do believe that. There's a lot of extremists, man. I don't know. I think they're just the loudest. I think they're just, I don't think most people want women and men together in like MMA or in sports or like... What about cops then? That's the same. That's where they're whole... I know. They're always crying about how, well, we got to just stop with this trans shit in sports because it's making us look stupid. And you go like, yeah, but it's like,

that's your whole platform. If you get rid of trans in sports, then you have to get rid of women are firemen too. Cause it doesn't make, there's no, there's no equality at all. If you get rid of any equality, you have to get rid of all of it. You have to go all the way back to civil rights and say,

the government can't tell me that I have to hire X percent of black people for my company or else you're going to fucking sue of all of it. You have to go all the way back to civil rights and say, the government can't tell me that I have to hire X percent of black people for my company or else you're gonna fucking sue me or kill me. And they've been, you know, like standards. Everyone's not equal. I have to decide what's in front of me right now. Standards have changed with, yeah, I mean, things like, you know, firefighting and law enforcement,

that's a, it's, I don't think, you know, it's everybody. And chess. Everybody, yeah, yeah, it's, I don't think, you know, it's everybody, everybody. Yeah, yeah, it's chess. Like, oh, well, why are there so many male, you know, IT and doctors, like, whoa, why are they, how come they're not playing? How come men can't play in women's chess leagues then? You have to, you guys have to.

I didn't know that. No, cause they get blown out. I didn't know that. Cause women can't compete with men in like chess and poker. I get fucking destroyed. I didn't know that. Because women can't compete with men in like chess and poker. They get fucking destroyed. I didn't know that, so really, so there are men's and women's on any of the large stages. Well, there's women's.

There's women's chess, women's poker, women's video games. Yeah. Yeah. That's interesting. They get blown out in the mental shit too. I mean, it's a very combative mindset that men have in strategizing to murder other people. That's why they have evolved it

over millions of years, right? What I do know is that- My dog, I love my dog, but my sister's dog is more of a fucking killer. It's more fucking annoying too, because a boy, they evolved like this for millions of years. Men's and women's brains are physically different. I think a lot of people don't know that.

It's like they're, just as we're, you know, as we're physically different. Women have a larger, more highly developed hippocampus. Men have a more highly developed amygdala. There's more, the women's brains mirror each other on both sides more than men's brains do. Yeah. And it's all, yeah, it's, I mean, it's, it all comes down to-

And the online shopping is out of control. There you go. Thank you for saving that. Yeah. But- It's just funny to see because it's like, yeah- And women work out things differently. Like in the, women verbalize it.

Yeah. Men don it. Yeah men don't yeah men are you know, there's a hierarchy in their thinking and categories and Things don't you don't unlock you don't open certain boxes if it's not necessary This is this is all explained to me you talk to normal professional normal liberals They'll just write all that off but or some amount of it Those step no bullshit. We make up for it in other ways. They make up for it in other ways. Like some kind of wishy-washy bullshit.

Well, I've said this before, but somewhere somewhere different became worse. If you say somebody's different- Money, when money came into it. If you say somebody's different, that means they're inferior or worse. And like people don't- It's like, like, no, you have worth as a person like that said but you know, I don't know man The subtlety and and reason has long since left the building. So I'm not bringing it back

Well, they got they're getting DEI shits going away Microsoft fired all their DEI people You know, yeah, I... Yeah. There's just no reason to give them any money. Well, it worked. We successfully offshored everything. This is the War on Tits. And really, we've been doing that for a long time now.

This is... what is this game? SNK versus Capcoms? Yeah. Let me make sure Nick's not in here. No, okay. Look at what they did to the tits on this game, Sean. You know how I've been tracking this for 20 years. Yeah, you have. Yeah. Look at what they did here. This is the Japanese one. The Japanese on the left, American one on the right. Look at what these, look at what they did to my boy. What are they doing here? Come on, man!

Thank you. How are you supposed to ever How are these kids supposed to get their first erection when this is what they're looking at? Japanese one on the left, American one. Yeah, so they just made her smaller and then, well, there's two different size photos too but obviously the crop, the top is much higher.

The tits are gone, it's like a Barbie like a suggestion. Like a suggestion. Well, you don't see the line, you know? There's no actual tits under there. It's just like a... It's just drawn kind of out. I'm looking at clothing here. This one I'm beating off the tits.

This one I'm just looking at clothes. This is what women think they get a boob job for. So their clothes will look like this. Not so they can have what's here on the left. Just a little bit of information. I didn't know that. You didn't know that. They get a boob job so they can look good in clothes. Yeah well. For other women. Uh-huh. And they blame us for it. I don't have a bottle opener. But you have a lighter. Okay. Oh man. I sent Kay. You want to see what Okay. Oh man. I sent Kay. You want to see what some EBT shopping here? Let's see what we're buying with EBT. This is uh... I'd be happy... Oh boy. I... What is she... She posted this on TikTok. I'd be happy swiping my EBT unlimited card. Seven kids, yes, we eating.

I'm not paying cash. Okay. Well, I'm glad that you're eating. ["Buckethead Boy"] Dude, that is a shitload of hot links. ["Buckethead Boy"] And I don't know, that's like, what is this? It's just a bunch of actually bunch of stuff

Those are links, right? water Yeah, that's water water. Yeah. Yeah. Okay spaghetti owes down here. Yeah ramen. Okay, can't tell what that I thought those were packets of hot links, but I love hot links, but it's yeah I mean, that's that's a lot of that's. That's a lot of fucking food, isn't it? But you have seven kids, I would think there might be a second cart. Why don't we just make these companies give them free food? Instead of taxing us to not pay for the...

I don't know. I only saw this because Vito said you're a bad person if you don't want to pay taxes so this person can eat Well, maybe the companies could just give them free food Well, I mean seems kind of like just a scam Isn't that like a could not be considered like charity or something like I mean, you know if they do consider it Whatever you want the government has all the guns I only pay taxes because they have the guns so make them give the food away instead. Well, that's better for me If they issue tax notes and if you don't give enough of them back to them then they can take your freedom away.

Yeah, instead they give the company money and then they make me give them money to pay for the interest in the money that they use to give the company? That doesn't make no sense. Alright, well, but I'm a bad guy, I guess. For thinking that it's stupid. You want to hear the president of the secret service taking responsibility? I'm sick of this shit. You are? Yeah.

Already. Okay. She didn't. Oh, okay. Yeah. It's someone else's fault. Crowd strike guy. You see all the computers got all messed up?

Yeah. That was pretty funny. Dude, we're about 48 hours of everything going down from being fucking wild animals. It won't take long. People are fucking, it'll be nuts. People don't realize how much outsourcing and middle management bullshit has destroyed our tech infrastructure. Oh yeah, yeah.

Part of the reason crypto is so important is because all the smart people just had to remake everything. Because this old shit. You can't patch it enough. No, and if you get in there, your middle manager who's been promoted to a point where he's incompetent.

Yeah, it's so many plugs in one outlet, you know? The people in management traded their technical ability for social abilities. That's why they got promoted. Oh, yeah. Which is bad. Yeah, I know. So they're bad at that.

And their job is to hire Indians who don't care if, who don't care about anything. You've never seen this level of don't care about anything. You've never seen this level of don't care about shit in your life. Well, you know, if your boss is say out of the country permanently, how much do you give a fuck? Not at all. So if you get even one of you in there to fix it,

it's toast. So everybody had to go make their own whole new infrastructure in there to fix it, it's toast. So everybody had to go make their own whole new infrastructure to try to keep it from crumbling, you know? But they're not gonna let us. This is a, what is this, a flash mob at Gucci? Oh. Gucci store in Beverly Hills gets robbed. Oh, that's cool.

I love these videos. Yeah. Oh, yeah. They're going. Look at all that Gucci shit they're stealing. In the rooming day. I don't know. I just pretend it's a

game show. It looks like the Beverly Center. It does, but it's no, it's outside. Oh, it is. Oh, yeah. Yeah, this is I don't is this Beverly Hills? I know I mean Westwood. This is that's what I'm thinking. I think is yeah Yeah, this is that shopping mall with the pinchy's tacos and in Westwood. I think you're right Okay

Let's see what else we got here Mike Johnson Crowd strike yeah, that was funny I Guess I Guess we're pushing updates on Friday. Is that what yeah, right? We're not supposed to do that Everyone's everyone knows that because you you have to fix stuff on Saturday. Yeah, nobody's coming in on Saturday.

Indians definitely aren't coming in on Saturday. I think they have a holiday on Monday too, tomorrow. Oh really? Yeah, so it's doubly stupid. That's really wild. You bricked every computer on the planet? But as things get more and more consolidated, I mean, isn't this gonna happen

more and more? Like where, yeah, what like one company is responsible for all of this and if it fucks up there's no... Look when AI runs everything and some Indian pushes an update for Microsoft's like Azure cloud, everyone's gonna die. Hospitals will just shut down. That'd be great. Not that it will matter because it won't do anything at that point anyway. It's funny, you know, it's like, you can call it. It's like, everybody has this like, it'll work out this time or that won't happen.

Everybody has the, that can't happen to me type of thing. It's like, bro, you need backups for your backups. You guys made a, they made a system that's so complicated. None of them can understand it. Yeah, yeah. It's become a, it's becoming a big problem. Yeah, it's a monster on its own.

Where even the saviors, like used to be where you could go like, gosh, I wish somebody really smart could come in here and fix this. It's too fucked up. But now it's like, well, we got, you know these thinking computers. Yeah. Like, why do you think that that's a thinking computer?

What about it? Yeah, yeah. Because you're marveling at it. Because you're marveling at it. That's not what it is. That it can almost do what you do, which is bad. Right, right, right. Yeah, it's easier to build something new.

You've got to just build a new one. That's the- build something new. You got to just build a new one. That's the- Or done. Good piece of advice mixing, my uncle gave me one time. He said, if you're mixing something and it just ain't happening, whatever, you've got everything in it, you're like, you know what, you go away, you kind of re-sit,

you come back, you go, I fucking hate this. He goes, just tear it down and start over. Don't fucking just keep tweaking the plug You like it's like you're just gonna drive yourself crazy, and you're still gonna hate it. It's like you know what just leave it alone Pull everything down Get rid of your fucking- I went to the bank and there's two out of the five ATMs our blue screen of death like sideways Like this is this whole system is fucked. The whole thing is broken. Nobody here knows how to fix it. And all of the business-minded minds, all the best business-minded

minds are sucking down like million dollar salaries working on just total lies at AI. Like the AI stuff is fucking retarded. The stuff people are saying about it retarded and everybody's working in it is some amount of retarded. That's unfortunate. It really is. It's just gonna be, you know, life, I really do believe, I tried, you know, to kind of not think this all the time,

but it's hard when everything you do that involves your interaction with the outside world is getting harder and less satisfying. It's getting worse. So like, you know, I mean, like the entire medical industry has offloaded their admin tasks to us. To us, we're the ones who have to make sure that the doctor talked to the pharmacy.

Yeah, right. Because there's no, this person, it's like, oh no, we didn't get, no, they never sent anything over. No, they, it's, it's- How is that even possible? It's- Don't you have- Computers? Computers to do it?

Oh, no, it's like- Set up like a task on fucking- It's, everything is so- Click up or something? Everything is so poorly done that the direct line from the doctor to the pharmacy It may end up in like a spam folder or so, you know, it's like that. No that shouldn't exist This is not fucking you and me emailing each other. Have I never why have I only ever encountered fat women at the doctor? Why is there only there's only fat women running the running all of health care all of health care is being run and

directed and dictated and governed by obese Latina and Filipino women why is that? Filipino nurses are a big like there's a ton of the whole thing It's like it's a family thing. Like your mom was, you're gonna be. Is that what it is? Like a donut store?

They have like big families and like the girls, if they're here, they like become nurses. They love it. I don't know why. Okay. Sid Wen says something related to your dead sea lion story. One time we had an observer on the boat. Did you hear that one?

He went to the dog beach and there was a sea lion cut in half. Oh really? Bobbing around. So a white shark hit it. Or a propeller. I thought a white shark too, but I don't know. A propeller is generally not gonna cut a full sea lion.

Some shithead said that and I'm like, I don't know about that. I mean, it's possible. But no, I mean, there are plenty of white sharks. Yeah. Like body parts missing second half. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, that seems to me like a white shark attack.

It was gross. Women were horrible. How far out was it? Long Beach. I know, it washed up. Oh, it washed up. It was like bobbing around. Yeah, yeah.

One time we had an observer on the boat, the same marine biologist that the Chevron decision was overturned about. It was her first day. Earlier that day, my brother's boat wheeled around, earlier that day, my brother's boat wheeled around us and he tried to throw a fish head at me. He missed and it got in her hair instead.

Part of our bycatch that day was a dead seal. Normally, they just snap a photo and throw it back, but she wanted to keep it. My brother felt bad, so he helped her bag it up and load it into her corolla. Oh, gross. The bags didn't really hold up though, and she got a shitload of seal blood all over it.

Why would she wanna keep a seal? Was she gonna go like study, or is she taking it to a, she's a biologist. A biologist? What the hell would she take from the entire seal? Well, is she gonna do an autopsy? Maybe. Maybe.

Or a necropsy or whatever. Why? To find out what killed it. They want to check stomach contents. I don't know. She needs a bigger car than a Corolla if you're going to be doing autopsies. She wasn't planning on finding a seal, but... Jackpot, right?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. If there's a problem, you'll get another one, surely. Yeah, okay. I mean, you know, I don't know what she's doing with it, but... If a woman you were dating told you this story, what would you say? I would say, why the fuck did you do that? Well, she's not a marine biologist, even if she is? She is, yeah.

Well, I would say, I wouldn't have put that in my car. Thank you. Yeah. I would have been damn sure that I like triple bagged it. You know what I mean? A tarp in there? What if she was driving your car? Oh!

No, no, no, no. That's how you got to think. All these women talking, you got to think, well, what would I say if I was dating her? Right? The Secret Service lady comes out and says, oh, the buck stops here, but it was the local police's fault. She comes home, I would say, why'd you say that?

You always say that kind of shit. Like, if the buck stops here, it means with you. It doesn't mean- Right, but that's the, yeah. It doesn't mean somebody else. That's the, yeah. People get expressions wrong a lot, too. Or their meaning. Sader says, Maddox spent half a decade and all he accomplished was giving

Dick half a year of easy content. Yeah yeah. It's very true. Maybe he's working on another one. Yeah I mean well. We'll know. In four or five years. Right right. Billy Bob says lifestyle party in the Midwest. Hey Dick don't read my name on Well, no. No in four or five years. Right. Right. Billy Bob says, lifestyle party in the Midwest. Hey, Dick, don't read my name on the show. I heard the guy who wrote in about the lifestyle party in the Midwest. Did you hear that one? No.

Guy wants to go to a swingin' party. Was this last week? No, I didn't hear it. He's got a big fat wife and he wants to go to a swingin' party. They're going to a swingin' party. Sounds like a song. I don't know why, the way you said it. Oh, I got a big fat wife at the swingin' party. I got a big fat wife. I got a big fat wife at the a Swinger party. They're going to a Swinger party. Sounds like a song. I don't know why, the way you said it. Oh, I got a big fat wife at the Swinger party.

Right, right. I got a big fat wife. I got a big fat wife at the Swinger party. Oh well fuck my life. Me and my wife have a ton of experience with those parties, pun, right? Mm, yeah. Me and my wife have multiple tons of experience

with those parties, you should've said. I know exactly what group is throwing the party, and I know a bunch of the people who attend. Whoa! We started going to their parties in 2017 because my wife has a MILF fetish. Wow. We stopped going like two years ago.

Uh-oh. If it is indeed the party, I think it is. It's in the Lake of the Ozarks. Wow, that's kind of like, is that okay to say the name? Well, yeah, I don't know what state that's in. The Ozarks go through. The Lake of the Ozarks? Yeah.

That's not a very sexy, like, swingery name, is it? Lake of the Ozarks, I mean, I assume there's a lake there in that little town. The lake isn't very erotic. Like the storm of the century. Ozarks are I mean, I assume there's a lake there in that little town. The lake isn't very erotic. Like the storm of the century. Ozarks are pretty. But a lake? I don't know, you know. Skeetos, muck, lake monster.

Depends on the time of year. Morphies. Yeah. You know? Yeah. Like the storm of the... I don't know what you'd call it. I don't know. The...

Hippograndi. That's what you'd call it. Oh, the hippo grandy. That's what you'd call it. Hippo grandy. The dark eclipse. No, that's like a black swinger. I don't know, but you could find a better name than that. My advice to that guy would be to not go. Do not come. Oh, really?

You think he's gonna get Trump versus Kamala? Maybe because it's, I have no fucking idea. You think he's gonna get Trump versus Kamala? Maybe because it's, I have no fucking idea. You think he's gonna have to beat two women for president? I think that the Democratic Party is dumb enough to run a two female ticket. Kamala? Oh, what if it's AOC? Oh my god. Oh man.

The shrillness of that ticket will be unmatched. That would be, I mean, I would think that would probably be your dream ticket. Mine? Yeah, I mean, just for the entertainment value. I would think so. I don't think they could do better than that. They're gonna run some girl boss shit and then just use all the money to save their other races. They're just gonna run somebody's Hangout to Dry and then use all the money to campaign for every other seat on the Democrat ticket. Uh, that's a good thought. Yeah.

Yeah. Because Kevin Newsom's not gonna run. Why the fuck would he want to run against Trump? He's the king of California. Right, right, right. No, no, no. You can't... No, not at this point.

Why would he leave California? No, no, no. Stupid. Yeah, yeah. Not now. He can do whatever he wants here. Uh-huh. Wait, where were you?

My advice, the lake of the Ozarks. Oh yes, yes, yes. My advice to that guy would be to not go. Maybe because it's so good. He doesn't want people finding out about it. It costs a fortune. All the hot girls, generous term, are creators.

They're hot because of the weight. Nah. Sweating like pigs. Our creators, aka OnlyFans whores now. Uh huh. So don't expect to bang anyone hot unless you are a creator as well. Ah, those fucking bitches. That's the new networking.

Sex? I mean, I guess, you know, if they're both creators, right? Sex on camera? Yeah, I bet you're right. I mean... I guess, you know, if they're both creators, right? Sex on camera? Yeah, I bet you're right. I mean... I guess you could lie. Yeah. I'm a creator too.

Yeah. Right. Here's my OnlyFans. And then you just screenshot, like you take a, you save the page of OnlyFans and then just replace like all your stuff. And then you have like your own domain and you just say, look, there's my OnlyFans. I got $10 million. Yeah.

Let's fuck. That's probably rape though. Because it was... Lying. Right. The degree of the deception factors into it, I've found. Yeah. With people.

Yeah. All the rest of the legit swingers are either fat or old and fat. Everyone will be drunk, high and obnoxious. Save your money buddy. You can bang a fat chick at home for free. Thanks and go fuck yourself. Yeah, that seems about right. So this was a guy who wrote in last week talking about

he was gonna go to this thing. He thinks he knows which, what event it is and don't do it. Turns out they're all the same. I'm gonna let you in on a little secret there. Got it, got it. Good to know. Women don't just give it away, you know. Good to know. At a fucking sex party.

Dirtbag Mario says there was a prefs conference where a lady from, oh yeah, this is secret service stuff. Oh no, oh no, social security agency. Some of the agency was talking about how policy, yeah, yeah, yeah. Everybody that comes across the border, they give a packet to with voter ID. What? Yeah, yeah, yeah. What?

Yeah, yeah, here. Okay, I'll read it. Yeah. There's a press conference where a lady from the Social Security Agency or some other agency was talking about how policy dictated that they were required to give every illegal who crossed the border a packet that included voter registration. Her concern was that while they are legally not able to register to vote, the Bureau's policies that says that they must accept their paperwork. Basically the

government is giving them the paperwork which the people assume that they must fill out registering them to vote. I would have to look into this. SSA.gov tracks new voter registrations and updates weekly. Some weeks, Texas has had 200,000 plus new registration. California sometimes hits 5,000. Yeah, there's... There's a crazy amount of money getting given to illegals. Have you seen any of that? I haven't seen stats on it. I, you know, no idea. Yeah, let's see. Money given to illegalals. Have you seen any of that? I haven't seen stats on it. I, you know, no idea.

Ah, yeah, let's see. Money given to illegal aliens. Refugee cash assistance. No. OK, AP News says no. Whatever they say, I just take out the no. Oh, OK. That's how I figure out what's happening. Well, you know, no. So there are people who you can talk to and... They're lying though.

Sure. Well, what are the taxes for? What do I have to pay taxes? So you can't do whatever you want. It's all about you. But they don't say that. They don't say that though. They say it's like giving other people, but they're not giving them that money. Well, they're building weapons and, you know... Right. They don't say that though. Money laundering and, you know, the whole bit. Right, right say that though. Money laundering and you know, the whole bit.

Right, right. See? That's what they say. Yeah. Do the cops ever tell you the truth? Yeah. No. Well, they're supposed to lie under oath if it supports the state's case. Yes.

They're all, that's all the same people. No, migrants do not receive $2,200 each month from the federal government. Okay, so you just take out the no. Migrants receive $2,200 each month from the federal government. Got it. Today's fact-free story brought to you by Dick Masterson. What's a sprint right there? Claim. Yeah.

Biden's giving illegals $2,200 a month. People who enter the US illegally... This has been like the last, you know, eight years by the way. What? Where people just, they bring in stuff, you know, from so and so, from so and so, from so and so. It's like, yeah, they're giving them, it's like, yeah, people are like, oh my god, can you believe that? It's like, uh, no, there's no system in place where that happens. Sean, they're obviously getting money from somewhere.

Okay. Probably from, probably from cartels. Hmm. Now are there people like scamming? There's always there's always somebody who's gonna try to scam a system and stuff. But yeah I mean I laugh when I do because it's so much of it is just so easily dismantled. What do you mean? This guy's saying they get fucking voter registration. I don't even know if he's talking about that. I just, I keep up on, you know, every time,

every time I get this stench in my nose, I go home and I look at it and- You go on what, YouTube? No, fuck no. No, if I like fact checks and then go, who are they quoting? Who is that? You follow it back and it's the best you got. It's the best you got.

And like, here's why this isn't happening. Like it's because blah, blah, blah, blah. What's happening then? Oh God. Yeah. You tell me. They're taking our money. They're taking our money.

Where's the money going? That's what it's not going to us. It's not going to us. Somebody's taking the money. Corporate landlords, I saw that. Oh man. I gotta say, you asked me what makes me a rage. Just that, the fact that they've taken so many people's

like futures away, like the future that we got fed as kids where it's like, no, no, no, that's not for that. That stopped with your parents. That's not, no, that's not for that. That stopped with your parents. That's not, yeah, that's not for you. They keep figuring out ways to try to prop up the system, the housing market. It still crashes every 15, 20 years. They're doing it different this time.

Biden said he was gonna cap rates at cap, rent increases at 5% and if you don't obey it He's gonna take away your tax credits. So wait a minute. Why the fuck do they have tax? Why the people that own all the properties have tax credits? Well, fuck are you talking about? But that's par for the but that's how the system has been That's how it's been written for the people with the power keep all the money. It's been it's been you've got everybody in bed with everybody and everything's written to keep,

to let them keep what they have or give benefits to them. Yeah, it's crazy. Like the more free money you give people. You've got corporations writing legislation to be pushed through. The more free money you give people, then you have total control of it. Like, okay, we're giving you a, you do this.

Whatever you're doing, I'm gonna give you a million dollar tax credit. You're like, oh, it doesn't really matter what I do then. Okay, we're coming back. We're gonna take away your tax credit unless you do this. I'm definitely doing that. I'm not, and the less of that, like the more of that there is,

the more you just get to come in and say, you do whatever you want. The black Sam, hey, Dick, the guy who invented the black samurai story had all of his shit erased by Japan hmm Do you know about the black samurai? No? Oh Yeah, this was kind of funny this video game Assassin's Creed yeah, they did one with Japan and they made one of the main characters the black guy

That's not surprising. That's been, yeah. Yeah. Entertainment industry has been doing it. Well, why not? And they said, well, yeah, cause there was one black samurai. Oh, and it's just a legend.

And it was some white guy who like, Oh no. Kind of made it like, it's just like, it's all retarded. Like it was a black guy who lived with a feudal lord for like three months and would carry his sword around and they'd dress him up like it wasn't a secret. Isn't that funny when you hear the real stories? Like it's always, you know, cocaine bear.

They found a young bear that was dead in the forest that had powder on his, yeah, that had opened up a packet of cocaine and OD'd and died. Yeah. End of story. And then, but it gets funnier because it's like, oh wow, that's kind of weird for Japan to lie about this shit. And then it turns out it was this white guy.

Yeah. What's his name? Thomas Lockley. Yeah. And then, oh they called him Associate Professor Rockley. Are they, is Japan fucking with us? They fucked up the L? So they deleted like all of his,

they deleted all of his research. Because it got, because Ubisoft used it to make, I don't even know if this is true. Is this a hoax? Rockley. I mean the Rockley is worth the price of admission alone. I know. It's fucking hilarious, come on.

Wow, so what about that guy? Oh, Rockery. Oh no, that guy, no, no, no. We thought you said Rockery. Right, right. Yeah, Lockery. No, no, Rockery, fine. Rockery, real bad guy.

Yeah. Well, as long as you get one of them. Yeah, Lockery. As long as you expose one of them. Yesuke. The true story of, oh, so there's like a... The true story. Well this is a lie. It's uh... I mean I don't want to like you know I don't want to yeah you know I don't want to use my power of not needing any facts but there wasn't a

black samurai. Sorry to... I don't give a fuck what the internet says. You didn't know that? Was there a Mexican samurai? Maybe there was a fucking Mexican Viking sailing around like samurai Jack and he landed in Japan. In Japan. Picking fucking rice. In Japan, I would think that would be highly unlikely. You think?

You don't think somebody would have killed him right away? I would think that would be exceptionally an outside chance that there was a black samurai in- Samurais were trained from like birth, like years and years of training. You don't just show up and back like a big, it's not the Wild West,

where you like show up in town and make a name for yourself. Right. The culture doesn't really work like that. Thomas- No, no, definitely. Thomas Thomas Araki, the author who created Yasuki was a samurai from his book in 2019, deletes all his social media accounts after Japanese gamers and Japanese historians call out his historical... Whoops! Well now you got a real fun game. That could have been like a fun Japanese samurai game, but. Well, and it's, somebody just put it in there. It says, I'm guessing a black person

didn't make this decision either. It's like, no, it never is. It's always straight guys who look like me make off. Like the dumbest, where everybody's like, dude, we don't need, we didn't ask for that. Straight white guys like you getting dick walked by ugly feminists, by white and black sisters, white and black feminists.

You're, yeah, there's, stop helping if that's what you think you're doing. The people I talk to get really embarrassed when somebody like me does something like that. All you had to say was like, he's a black samurai. You didn't have to go like, man, he was real. I don't really believe you. Well, now you just, the more you put out there, the more you open yourself up to, to like, you know, people fact checking stuff like this, which is why, which is why the lying biomission is so prevalent.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Cause then you can get away with it. Yeah. Woman alert, a woman tries to shut down a liminates stand. If you're lazy, which people are lazy. I'm not lazy. Woman alert. People who play video games are not lazy.

Woman alert. As it turns out. I'm saying in general. They will look up everything forever. It's the most important thing in the world to them. I believe that. Because it's a hobby that some people get deeply invested in. And you want to know the whole lore of everything.

OK, let's see here. This is a Woman tries to take down my seven-year-old's lemonade stand. All right, let's see And go away and let us know until there's a woman trying to sell There's a woman and her daughter running a lemonade stand and then there's this other fat woman here Texting I I guess part probably. It's part of the fucking, it looks like a forest across. No, don't sell. Yeah. It's illegal. Okay, the cops can do that for us.

Oh my God. Can I give you some cinnamon rolls? Ma'am, I don't want this cinnamon roll. It's illegal. I don't want the traffic. You guys didn't even consider the people who made you. We've had a limonade. Oh yeah, because we got like.

We have to have a permit. We have our own problem. So, yes, I do, I have fine kids. This is for real. But I ask them when they go go set up another five minutes. Yeah, I don't know, right? Is it real? I mean, well, the conversation sounds like real, but it's so dumb. So dumb.

It's so dumb. You know, that's what's so hard to... It's hard to tell without more information because people are this stupid. I'm not lying to us at all. Well, I'm trying to be polite. I mean, this is what they're doing at Jeremy Clarkson's farm. They're just wigging out about it. Are they?

Yeah. Anything he tries to do, we're shutting it down. That's such a great show. You can't have a restaurant. You can't sell bananas or something. Yeah. It's fucking stupid. That's a fucking great show

so all she wanted to do this week was to have a little lemonade stand you're so great you're so sweet and neighborly i appreciate it poor little girl oh yeah yeah the mom's hurting the girl How sad. Maybe you guys should add. Maybe you should have a heart in your body. It wouldn't change your mind. I do have a heart, ma'am. But I follow the, I look into the regulations.

Okay, that's, I don't know, maybe. I mean, that person needs to be like snuffed out of existence because she's, causes a lot of problems. Yeah. Causes a lot of problems. We got it, we got it. Yeah, she's not doing a lot of problems. Yeah. Causes a lot of problems. We got it, we got it. Yeah, she's not doing, she's not doing anything good for anybody.

You guys gotta yell. You gotta go straight to yelling. I mean, yeah, it's probably, I'm surprised she's like actually that calm. Do you have a permit for this lemonade stand? What the fuck is it? Right? You just go right into it.

It's a, every kid, like you think about that, it's like, oh, you sell lemonade. Like you see it in the movies You see it in the yeah, it's like well. You didn't get the proper permits like it. This is Yeah, it's crazy Whatever kids down the street were selling like hot soup or something hot soup. Yeah, they were selling something Yeah, it's like 100 degrees back in she's like do you have any money? I got a good buy so I want wanna buy some stuff from these kids.

I'm like, lemonade? She goes, no, they're selling like hot tea or something. I'm like, what are you, what are you talking about? It's like, I know, but I feel bad. Shut them down. Because nobody's buying their, nobody's buying their thing. Because the tea and the air are the same temperature. That's a problem.

Do they not have a dad? What's going on over there? Whose idea was this? You know, honestly, for a lot of kids, it's just fun. They're playing business. Well, yeah, but somebody's gotta get in there and go, hey, you can't be selling hot tea and it's 100 degrees outside. Right, right, right.

Lemonade. They have bad business ideas too. Yeah, that's true. But I mean, just the traditional lemonade, like I guarantee you that wasn't like the mom going, hey, we're gonna make a mint. Let's set it up on this street. They'll have to pull over.

It's like a kid going like, can I play business? Yeah. Yeah. And the mom jumped in and maybe bake some cinnamon rolls and you know, I don't know. Maybe she's worried about her fucking Starbucks stock or something. Who the fuck knows? Patrick says, Lego beat Dungeons and Dragons

to wheelchair stuff. Oh, it's disability month. Let's talk about it Hey dick listening to the latest show about wheelchair people being the new hotness in DEI shit Lego has also started doing this with their little Lego guys and they even have little Lego guys with cochlear implants So not only are they reaching the crippled but the deaf. Oh I don't know I feel like D&D is a little different. Like Legos, I don't give a shit. You can have a little wheelchair guy in a Lego, right?

You just pop him out, no more, cripple no more. Right. Right? Cripple no more. You flick the little chair off. Sounds like a supplement or something. Oh yeah, oh Lego, yeah, oh wheelchair guy, oh, boom, we needin' this, pew. Right? Hey, what'd you do with my black samurai?

Oh yeah, cool, that's in the extra pieces bag. Um... Oh man, this world. I'll put a little, I'm gonna take this guy out of Lego wheelchair and put a little skeleton man in the wheelchair. So it's like a joke they're playing on each other, they're gonna wheel a little skeleton around. The skeleton minifigs man. That was revolutionary shit. What's funny, you know, about this show is whether the stuff is like whatever you happen to bring in, whether it's true or not, it exists, which means it's reality. This is what, like, different people are dealing with and talking about.

And so it's so maddening. I fucking take it back, I was wrong. What? I was wrong, bro. I apologize, I thought this was no big deal. And that this guy's being an asshole to disabled people. The fucking set. Because it's so bad.

Because it's an astronaut in a wheelchair on the moon. Why the fuck would an astronaut be in a normal wheelchair on the fucking moon? Is Lego NASA sending- Well, it's very small, so it's not gonna be as complex as like the Rover or something, you know? I thought it was gonna be like a fucking food court or something. Come on down to the Lego mall. Look, there's a wheelchair guy in the back. No big deal. If you put like, you know, if you make the wheels like the X's or something, then you're like,

Oh, I can see like it's you know This is one small wheel for man. Yeah one giant drag race for mankind Is that the wheelchair man on the moon's? What the fuck is this? Space science lab and there's a little there's a little Martian or alien or what? Yeah Hmm What the fuck? There's a little alien man over there.

And then there's a lady looking at some rocks, some crystals. And then there's... A little alien and they're like, oh, waving. There's some waving from the wheelchair. The wheelchair man has just wheeled out of the space pod and is wheeling his ass around Zepton man if they're on the moon Think how fucking dude think how?

Think how far he could jump that bitch Yeah, evil can evil That's why they're gonna shoot like you know Superman, Superman 4 on the moon for, you know, Reeve to, he can get some, launch his chair. Is he, see would you call him like, disability pride? I wouldn't want to call, dude pride is like high five man yeah you suckin' cocks and getting fucked in the ass and beating your wives if you're lesbians yeah high five! Nobody should, nobody should have pride in this.

I mean, I guess you have pride in this. I mean, I guess you have pride that you'll overcome an obstacle, but it's like... No, it needs to be a better set, I think. Okay, okay. No, no, here, listen. I think it's a... February's not Black Pride Month, it's Black History Month, right? It's a little more dignified.

You can't call it Black Pride Month. That would be nuts. So that's Disability Pride Month., doesn't make any sense. Right, well because Black History Month is supposed to be like acknowledging contributions over the history of America. Like look at like the whole, from the beginning of... Peanut butter. Yeah, like a work of art.

Peanut butter, fucking hair gel, whatever. I think peanut butter might have already been invented before. Peanut butter was invented. It was before Carver. I don't even know if you invent peanut butter. You just smash up peanuts with your teeth and you're like, oh, I wonder if you could smash this up outside your mouth. You find that a lot of oil comes out of them and you know. But that's what I'm saying.

Disability pride is not really, can you call it something else? Well that's weird. Yeah, we talked about this earlier in the show. It's a strange term. But then like awareness, well that's not giving the do maybe. So you give a kid this and the kid's like, why the fuck is there a little wheelchair guy winging around in space? That alien's gotta be freaking out. Why is it the alien in a wheelchair?

I don't know. Look at this little fucker. He's got some kind of like dwarfism. His eyeballs are all messed up. Oh he's three eyes probably. Oh, okay. There you go There you go. How come this bitch is fine. I'm just saying men are... I'm gonna take your crystals. Men are fucking handicapped Look, it's got a little ramp in here. Yeah. Well, you know What the fuck is going on? All right, let's see the other example. Pretty good. All right, buddy. You were right right I'm stupid. Another example of wheelchair okay. You get this on Christmas this is like your one Lego set

for the next couple months. Why's he got a crappy, why doesn't he have a motorcycled wheel chair at least like Professor X. Why's he got this crappy. Maybe I can make something out of the box. Dad, you got an X-Acto knife? I'm gonna build a, I don't know. And they probably made the holes in the legs where the Legos fit together. They probably made the woman's so her holes don't fit on the wheelchair.

Cause if that was me, second I'm opening that woman's wheelchair, get out of here, gone. I'm gonna get the fucking pirate guy. I know that people are just gonna troll with it, so they've... Yeah. They've... We've stopped you. We've headed that off.

We've worked with the ADL to make it impossible to put the woman in the wheelchair. Oh, huh. God. Uh, custom car. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha It's like Fast and the Furious. Look at the Tokyo drifting going on there, man. Fast and the Furious! Another wheelchair guy. Oh, it's a lady. It's a pink-haired feminist lady. That's a lady? I mean, I think so. Wearing a vest?

I don't know. It's not a... Is it? I don't know. Let's get a good zoom in on this. That's a lady, man. Look at that. Oh, yeah, yeah. I know that cunty smirk anywhere.

It's the pink hair. It looked like red from back there like a... with a fucking... with a gun? I don't know that could be a dude. Wait what? No that's uh... What's that? That's not a gun. That's gotta be like a jack or something. It looks like a gun. It does doesn't it? Yeah what the hell is that? It totally does. No it's like a it's gotta be something else. They should probably make that a little different. She's about to shoot up a Catholic school. Geez.

So it's actually a trans. I guess that's a woman. Yeah, she's got, is it a weld? It's a welder. Look, she's got a welding mask, see? Yeah. So she's gonna wheel over, start. It matches the hair.

I mean, honestly, it's more offensive that they got a woman working in a fucking auto body shop or a fucking car shop or whatever this is. At least she's handicapped. That drill, like that drill gun looks like a fucking Uzi from a distance too. Where? In the foreground, right there, laying down on the- Oh, that one? Yeah, kind of thinking of the bottom. There's this company that makes weapons for that fit with Legos. Oh, I believe it.

Yeah. Okay, well, you were right. That's- Okay, well. I guess it's- And you're a huge Lego fan, right? I mean, like you- You didn't have to-

If he was in space, he wouldn't have this wheelchair. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, they build stuff like special for space, you know? Well, why- Yeah, why not just have like a LEGO spaceship and then he's doing a spacewalk in a fucking wheelchair? Well, that- That wouldn't happen either.

They can't have your same crappy wheelchair that you roll around Walmart in, you know, dirtying up the... You can't bring this stuff from, you know, to outer space. That's gotta be a wheelchair that never leaves the craft until you're in it and exiting in another world. Exactly. Yeah, come on.

You're telling me the alien doesn't have a wheelchair for him? Not very hospitable. Okay. Thanks, buddy. Uh... Jesus. Oh, there's a deaf one too? Okay, well, I believe you.

What, deaf Lego? Yeah, he's like a cock implant. How do you sign with those hands? Yeah. You want crab for dinner? Is that... Woman alert? A woman crashes a BMW into pop-ups. Woman alert. What do you think? Fat or not fat?

I think we know the answer to that. Oh wow, no, she's too scared. This has got to be a porno ad. Look at her she's too scared. This has got to be an ad, porno ad. Look at her, way too hot. Oh wow. That is a hell of a crash. Yeah, right over the- She's taking a BMW convertible across the-

How the fuck did that happen? Thank you so much. I appreciate it for you. What state is her license plate from? Did they blur it out? I can't tell. The guy's walking over. She has wrecked her BMW through a Popeye's. Thank you so much. I appreciate it for real.

I cannot go to jail. I can't. I won't last there. You know? Oh, what? Who talks like that? Gotta be fake. Yeah. I'm going fake. Who honestly talks like that? Yeah Who honestly talks like that, yeah, I Can't go to jail. I won't last there like okay Yeah, that's generally not how people They're not thinking that far ahead when something like that just happens. Yeah true. You're a little out of it, usually. A sore winner. Hey, Dick and Sean, I got a recent experience

with a woman alert. I was out enjoying a couple casual games of Ultimate Frisbee. We had limited subs and got tired after the first game. Knowing we don't want to try hard, we decided to do unconventional legal plays in the next game. One was called a cupasaurus, we don't want to try hard, we decided to do unconventional legal plays in the next game.

One was called a cupasaurus, which is just the entire team circling the person with the disc. Okay. What happens? What? You can't throw, I guess. Or it's more difficult to throw the frisbee. Gotcha.

Okay. It's like unsportsmanlike, I'm guessing. Yeah, it's like stymieing the... Yeah. We, of course, lost, but had fun playing. However, we did get a little bit of a good time. We had a good time. We had a good time. We had a good time. We had a goodportsmanlike, I'm guessing. Yeah, it's like stymieing the... Yeah.

We of course lost, but had fun playing. However, the team captain decided to talk... Their team captain decided to talk to us after the game. She stated that we should have forfeited, because then they could have returned their kids back home early. Oh. The retard didn't say this... You should be planning on playing the game. Yeah. Like that's, you know. She's just butt hurt that they're fucking around. Yeah. That guys

are having fun. You know. She didn't say this suggestion after the first two timeouts or halftime. She literally waited an hour later after the game was done. Just like that, she tried to ruin our fun. Also, like I give a flying fuck about her wanting to return to her kids. Just quit then. It's not my problem if you bring your kids to a game. After several weeks of playing, you'd think she'd know how long a game is. Moral of the story is that even if you give a woman a gold medal, if her opponents were so much as to give a smile, she wants to stick a knife in the back of every one of them until she's the only one smiling.

Go fuck yourself, Freek. Yeah, it's... You should... If a woman is approaching you, you should start shouting in your mind. It's like... To get warmed up. Yeah, it's like baseball, you know? You don't wait for a good pitch to start swinging.

No, no, no. You start swinging when the pitcher's ready to release, and then you decide mid-swing. Right. When a woman's coming at you, you should already begin yelling, and then if her tone, you know, then you decide to either continue yelling or... Or turn foul. Deflect. And not run to second. Yeah, or pretend that you're mad at something else.

Got it. Oh, really? I was just very upset about my parking. Yeah. What were you saying? Yeah. Okay, yeah, it was a great game. Yeah, nice to see you. Oh, what the fuck are you saying to me?

Is what I would say if I were a different person. Puma pants. Hey, I have a woman alert. A woman, Puma pants? Yeah, Puma pants. I'm at the sink washing my cast iron pan because I don't trust my wife to do it right. I hear my wife go, hmm, hmm.

So I look up and she's shoving a Kleenex into an actively burning candle. I ask her what she's doing and she explains that there's too much melted wax in there. And that she's trying to get some of it out by soaking it up with the Kleenex They have a real thing with candles Wait wait

A candle on fire that's burning. There's too much melted wax. Oh, so this has nothing to do with cast iron pans It has nothing to do with reality. Okay Before I get a chance to explain why that's retarded, the Kleenex catches fire. She starts panicking and I point to the candle lid and tell her to put it on the candle and that will put the fire out. Right, because you know, oxygen and stuff. And then I'm going to put it on you. So you're snuffed out.

She screams, I don't know where the lid is. And then she throws the flaming hot candle wax soaked Kleenex directly at me. It bounces off of me, falls on the floor where I stomp on it and put it out. I give her the you're going to the moon look and she tells me she was aiming for the sink. To throw it. But the sink was behind her.

Then I had to clean up candle wax off the granite countertop and kitchen tile. Oh, gotcha. Because I don't trust her to do that right either. Yeah, that's good. Well. I don't know why people think that Trump assassination is a conspiracy, you know?

Yeah. They got a woman, hey, can you make sure Trump doesn't get shot? How did you think that was gonna go? No. Right? It's like Groundhog's Day. Hey, honey, can you make sure Trump doesn't get shot today?

Wah, Ricky, right? Ah. Ah. Ah. Right? Thanks for the show. Go fuck yourself. Yeah. Thank you. Let's see here. No, Nick, if anybody else wants to call and tell me in the general. Make sure you at me though. Don't just say I want to call in. Right. Boob job. I want to call in. Right.

Boob job help. Hey Dick, my wife is getting a mommy makeover after we had a couple of kids, which includes a boob job. She told her doc she wants to go a little bigger than her pre-kid size, which is a 36C, but not larger because she's afraid of back pain. The back pain of silicone? Yeah.

I tried telling her that back pain isn't a problem because she regularly lifts squats, deadlifts, rows, and can handle it. She doesn't believe me because big boob pain is a common problem for women. You're making a mistake by responding to the words that she says. Never, ever, ever do that.

She doesn't believe me because big boob pain is a problem for women. I didn't want to point out the common woman is a fat slob as that'll make her more defensive. You're internalizing her words. That is the, I mean, you're just basically inviting Satan into your brain. Oh no. Does the Dick Show community have some suggestions Internalizing her words that is the I mean you're just basically inviting Satan into your brain. Oh, no

Does the dick show community have some suggestions or art community? Oh, what the who are you asking here? well community have some studies or Buddy what do you so you're I can take so you're going dad Well, you're you're true. Do you have any studies that I can use to show my wife about how to be get big tits You're gonna tell him studies. You're gonna tell him he's trying to do this too honestly Well, you know what I'm listening to his wife that's he's not listening. He's not really listening Well, is he listening or is he hearing right? Right? You're listening You know, you're hearing you can't hear Jimmy. Why doesn't she want to get...

The whole damn band's white. Why doesn't she want what you want? That's what you need to be hearing from her. Have any good arguments they can forward that support exercise, allowing women to hoist bigger... How did you even get laid in the first place with this mindset? I'm saying too he's he's going about this. You're getting sexually exploited if you're this retarded. He wants legitimate facts and figures and stuff and that just shove down her throat and bully her. That's not really a it's not applicable in this case.

She doesn't want to get a huge chance because she doesn't want to look like a whore. That's that's the issue here. Okay. Uh well I'm sorry she doesn't want to look like a whore. That's the issue here. Okay. Well, I'm sorry. She doesn't want other people to think that she wanted to look like a whore. That's the issue. Maybe that's, if she could be guaranteed that no one would-

Would think that. Would think that, then it'd be like, no problem. Then she'd have more confidence in it. Yes. To exercise allowing women to hoist bigger tits. You are, you're on a sniper chase. I really feel this is a great opportunity for her. I want to selflessly educate her.

Cheers Steve, here's what you do. You find every woman who's ever gotten a boob job and they all say the same exact thing. I wish I'd have gone bigger. Oh yeah. You gotta get, find, and if they ever say, if you find one that says anything other than that, block her. To the moon.

Yeah, block her, get rid of her. Find ones that say that, and then... It's like, you look, you don't wanna do this twice. You're gonna wanna go bigger. Exactly. Yeah, and you do it right the first time. And remember, remember what I'm telling you, this. They only care about how they look in clothes.

So you've got to find women who, what they look like in clothes, because fake tits don't have the same, they don't have as much size as real tits. Totally, totally different clothes story. So, and you, they don't know this this but you do have to go you do have To have bigger fake tits to look the same as like a woman with normal tits and clothes That's what they you know, I don't know if you're you know lying really well right now or yeah

Okay, I know what I'm talking about. Yeah, so you have to find find women Find the size that she likes and women in clothes with fake tits, and then lie about, this is the most important part. Lie about the size that they, no matter what, you know, do it like a game show. Da da da da da da da. Which one do you like? Oh, that happened to be,

yeah, that was the one I was saying again. What the fuck? I think that would work. That's good advice. Don't do this back strength shit. That's... She had kids. What does she care about? You know... Body hurting.

D is just not... That's not gonna do it for fake tits. Sorry to tell you, but good luck with that one. Advice for Glock. Dear Dick and John, it's Goldilocks again. I need some advice on my libtard wife. Okay. This is also what makes me rich.

My wife is pretty similar to Vito. Uh-oh. Won't step on a scale either. She's a pedophile? Oh, Jesus. You know, he still hasn't lost any weight. Dude. He got so mad this week because I kept playing this gay, Vito is a gay team guy song.

And he like hates it. People pay 10 bucks for me to play it. He fucking hates it. Yeah. So I said if he could get the last, like if he could get the words right to the last part, I would never play it again. And he wouldn't even do that. Really?

Yeah, yeah, well. My wife- You're just torturing the guy every week. Well, it's for a good reason, for a good cause. You're fun. Yeah. Yeah, that's what I thought. And money.

My wife is pretty similar to Vito in terms of both politics and comedy. She's a left-leaning woman who is excited at the aspect of Trump dying on television. Everyone was excited about it. I don't want it to happen, but I mean, I would be lying if I would say, wow, if Trump's head exploded, that would be pretty fucking crazy. It'd be memorable. Well, you know, an entire generation watched, you know, Lee Harvey Oswald get killed on national television.

Yeah. Like, Wow. Yeah. I mean, I don't want to go out of my way to see someone die, but if I happen to see it, that's gonna be. I think that exists in everybody.

Yeah. The morbid curiosity. It's not, I love Paul Pelosi getting hit with that hammer. That was hilarious. Everybody yeah the morbid curiosity it's not I Love Paul Pelosi getting hit with that hammer. That was hilarious. I mean, you know, I You know, I mean you don't have to love it I Don't know, you know, I mean, that's it I think Like I I can look at all that stuff Like I don't have a problem with that. But like, I think some people are gonna wish they hadn't.

They hadn't what? Like looked for that kind of stuff or seen that kind of shit or whatever. Yeah, I don't look for it. What if it happens? I mean, you do have to drive by the accident. I understand that. When the protesters are blocking off the freeway and they get hit by a car and their shoes fling off. I understand that. If you're on the freeway. When the protesters are blacking off the freeway

and they get hit by a car and their shoes fling off. I love that shit. Yeah, that's awesome. We live in the traffic capital of America. Like that's- Fuck them. So that's, I mean, my rage is up when I see people blocking.

There are plenty of places to protest. You fucking make hellacious traffic even worse. You fucking get what's coming to you. I could never serve on a jury with that. Because it's like, no, he's innocent. He's innocent. Let him go. Yeah, it was justifiable homicide.

Oh yeah, my wife's... Just like with Vito though, she's pretty cool sometimes. Funny and oddly racist. Whoa. Uh, and hates gay people. Whoa. What the- why would you want- It doesn't sound like- You hate gay people!

It doesn't sound super liberal to me. What? Uh... Uh... Hates gay people? Why? How could a woman hate gay people? I don't know. Like, I don't get... Men or women? I could understand how a woman would hate a lesbian, but...

I don't get, uh... I don't get the energy put into, like, hate that has, like... Like, they tell themselves that, like... Gay people, you mean? Yeah, yeah. A lot of things. Just a lot of things. A lot of things. It's fine to hate some things, but there's, you have to, a lot of people are really convincing

themselves that this directly impacts them, and somehow it's like a threat to like their fucking kids or them, or like, it's like, no, I gotta fucking hate that. California pass- Then you use the Bible as a cudgel and fucking, you know, nobody fucking understands anyway. It feels like we're on the start of the backswing,

like when California made weed legal in the 90s, the mid 90s, it feels like we're at the start of that point, but for the other side right now. Yeah, yeah, I can see that. Yeah, yeah. Weed legal California, here we go. It's gonna be big time freedom sweeping across the nation. Oh shit, it didn't work that way? Oh no.

It always swings, you know. The government got more power? It always swings too far. Never settles on reason. Oddly racist. Hates gay people, despite being a bisexual woman herself. Of course she's bi. Okay. You're trying to decide whether to read the rest of this

or not, I can see. What do you mean, of course, she's bi being a bisexual The only problem I have is pop pages pages pages You see how hard you have to work to make people tell you what they think and then when they do Everyone tries to hurt them. Some people lose the kind of the narrative thread easily. They kind of go off on like a little aside and then never quite get back to,

you should be building a point. The reader should be able to kind of follow something like this, kind of where it's going. Yeah. It's like the human mind is like a drain. Getting closer and closer. The only problem I have is politics. I think the human race is like a drain.

You know, what's funny? So the assassin, the assassin, right? He had this shirt on from a gun, a pro gun company. Yeah, did he? And then the guy that owns the company made this, you know, weepy video where he pretends that like he's like so affected by the, you know, I can't believe it. Or that he was responsible or something. Yeah, I can't believe it.

Yeah. People buy, you know. He wasn't responsible for it. Well, then one of the items in his store is a hat that says make politicians afraid again. Ooh, that's, yeah. I'm like, well, what's the... of what? Well, what do you think?

It's a gun store, right? What do you think the Second Amendment's for? It's for killing politicians and cops. So they don't come take your freedoms. Yeah. It's not a self-defense law. I know. We've talked about this.

It is a law to make sure that America's most powerful terrorist. Can't turn into a tyranny. Yeah. What do you guys think's happening here? You just want to cry? You're just trying to impress your wife out here? Talking about how words are bad and we got to ban tenacious D. And tenacious D is not funny suddenly?

Okay. Oh, they were never funny? Right. Right, right, right. No, no, no, I'm sure, sure, sure. People do that all the time. They pretended that, no, they were never, somebody was never that great,

or it was always, when somebody comes out, does this stupid thing, it's like, why? Could you imagine if somebody had joked about 9-11? I'm like, we joked about 9-11 immediately. Dude. Like, immediately. That's, honestly, like, yeah, I mean, in some things like that, That's honestly like that. Yeah, I mean that in some things like that

That's how people deal with us a scope of something that's so horrific and big is to make you know galos humor That doesn't exist that doesn't exist because people are assholes and they are it's a that but it's a It's a trying to make sense of a thing or if you know the whole you don't laugh you You know, it's everybody's like competing right trying to make sense of a thing or if you don't laugh, you gotta laugh or you'll cry. Everybody's like competing right now to make sure they're the good guys. Wait a minute, wait a minute, we're the good guys, we're the good guys though. We've all been saying a lot of shit. We've all said a lot of shit. Let's just go ahead and rewind and just everybody, we didn't mean any of that shit.

Really? You didn't mean any of it? I bet you didn't at the time. No, if you know. I mean, when you said that George Washington and his buddies would be stacking bodies right now, what did you mean by that? Well, nothing violent. Yeah, right. Oh.

Stacking bodies of water. Oh, oh, I see. Yeah, we're making- Oh, there'd be fucking whores. That's what you meant. I'm in the- Oh, shit. I'm in the vertical lake business. Here I was thinking we were all talking violently for my entire life right now

You guys have educated me to let me know that none of you are talking violently. I got it. Whatever ever were you know? That's cuz you're all pussies You don't want to get in trouble. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah Are you want the you want the you know? Credulence of being better people yeah For your fucking God that killed two people one day for no reason. Um, uh, the only problem I have is politics. I'm a libertarian myself, all things considered.

I don't care what anybody does as long as you're not actively fucking me over. Yeah, that's, you know. Is that enough? I feel like passively fucking me is might be a problem too, you know, yeah Look, I feel like passively allowing people were actively fucking me out. We're might be a problem, too We're being fucked over well a city has a problem. We allowing people who are passively allowing people to fuck me over might be a problem No fucking over It is in any form Vices are cool. If you do them, then that's your right to do so.

Okay. My only concern is economics. As long as I'm getting paid, I'm good, especially since I make most of our money. Currently I'm making all of it since she's in tech school. Oh, well. But when I talk about how nice it was money-wise during the Trump presidency, she gets super upset and starts spilling out

how she wants all women and gay people dead. Jesus. Listen to me, you know about how he wants all women and gay people dead. Wait, I thought he, I thought she hates gay people. What is going on here? I don't know why he said that. This is Trump, she gets super upset and starts spilling out how he, Trump, wants all women and gay people dead.

I'm going to say this right now. You are not fucking her hard enough. And if you can't, she is going to find somebody who will, who she can either dominate and make miserable, or who will fuck her hard enough to fuck this shit out of her head. Oh boy. She absolutely hates Trump, but I have a big feeling she'll hate anybody that's like him.

She made me register to vote for the midterms last season. She made you. What? And is expecting me to vote again this coming election. I can't tell her that in my only option I see that'll work for my wallet is Trump and that if I had to choose between him or Biden, I'd pick Trump. Why are you having these conversations with your girlfriend? Your voting is your private like, I don't know, man, like you don't have to talk about

it. Something is odd here. Something is off. There's only is I don't know. You need to you need to Something's odd here. Something's off. There's a... I don't know. You need to get out of here. The email's kind of all over the place. Those calls are coming from inside the house. Yeah, you need to escape.

What's happening to you is not going to get any better. Panic room. I can fix your problems, but you can't. You need to get out. You need to find a normal woman who mindlessly adopts the politics of her lover, as God designed them to do. And then you need to not... You don't talk with women about politics, you just sort of shout at them about it.

Yeah, your theme today is shouting. They make you feel like your opinion matters when it doesn't at all. That's how it works. Uh... But she would fully commit to anybody opposite him. Okay, so anyone Trump. I hate talking politics in general, but she always sends me propaganda about how evil conservatives are. Ignore it. Ignore it. Ignore it.

Dude, tell her not to send you that. You know what I heard the other day? How come you haven't read any of the stuff I sent you on Instagram? Whoa. Yeah. Uh, like, and I wanted to read it. It was all dog stuff. Yeah. Yeah. I could get in on that.

Yeah, there you go. I know. You're a dog guy. Project 2025 and how if Trump is elected, it'll be the end of women's rights. That's right. They're all going back. No more snacks. No more eating for women between the hours of sunup and sundown. That's day one.

Executive order. Women are not allowed to eat between sunup and sundown. It's- And you're drinking too much, ladies. You're drinking and you're getting fat. You're're drinking and you're getting fat you're drinking alcohol you're getting fat knock it off That's day one Trump 2025 no you know about 2025 alcohol yeah 25 you're drinking too much

Mmm, you could drink but you're drinking too much you're getting sloppy your tits look like shit is you're getting too fat That's that's what Trump was saying in 2025 and Your tits look like shit because you're getting too fat. That's what Trump was saying in 2025. And I will become that stupid Hulu show where women are being used as breeding stock. We live in the O.K. in Oklahoma. So it's basically the South and that angers her to no end. Man, you got to, this woman's handful. Are they not from the South originally?

I don't know. I already said I'd be willing to move to somewhere like Colorado Because it's got great outdoors life. Yeah, Colorado's which would be a good draw from she you're gonna go there She's gonna fuck a guy who's like a total pussy who can just do all the things she's saying but more. Hmm What do you got for me? Is there a way I just stop all? Politics talk you can tell her don't talk to me about politics. Well better ignore her and demean it when she talks about politics. Make her feel bad for starting the conversation with you. Make her feel

like she's messing up. I mean do what I said first and then if she doesn't listen then it's you got to, it's like look like. Yeah, try it that way. I've got enough fucking, I got enough stress and aggravation in my life. Then like I don't need you to like start dumping. Your. Like whatever, like yeah.

Fantasies on. Whatever like. Sick addiction. Sorry, like I won't do that with you. Talk about something else. What am I, just a pair't do that with you. Mm-hmm. Talk about something else. What am I, just a pair of ear holes to you? Or say stuff like, man it's amazing that you ranting about politics

isn't like, burn more calories. Oh Jesus. Here I am once again listening to this shit. Do we have any friends you could talk to about this? You know, always cutting, and then lie about saying it on purpose to demean her.

Got it. Yeah. Get her in that cycle of self-doubt. Okay. Yes, that's the advice I would expect. Or am I just gonna lie to her about who I vote for this election? Well, dude, like...

What? Yeah, I... The fuck are you talking about? Just take it all off the table. For reference, she has A cups, but a big fat ass. Works for me, I love ass. Who likes that, yeah. But 5'4", but she's actively losing weight.

Used to be 173 and she's dropped down to one... Get the fuck outta here! This isn't real. No way fat Okay, that's what we get all ready We got a bunch of it we got to suspend like 15 minutes on that shit son of a bitch Fake emails still content. All right, let's see Nick ever get here. No, let me see, am I doing guitar talk?

Oh shit! Do you want to? Do you want to? Yeah. Yeah, I mean, I guess I do. You still have voicemails too. Yeah, I guess I, yeah. You can wait for something to come up in the voicemails.

I can have it right here. Yeah. You let me know. Yeah, well, I mean, I've got a few of them actually. I don't know. A few guitar talks? I'm fucking, man, I don't know how interested I am in it today. In Guitar Talk? Yeah. Okay, wait, when it's, I have it queued up.

When you're ready, it's ready to go. Disney Adults, a ton of people sent me this one. It must be good, I don't know. We've looked at Disney Adults before, haven't we? Yeah, they post all the time. This is a break out in a rash when they're at the Disneyland parks. Hives from the walking? Heat. Heat can do it.

Oh, heat? Shafing? Like heat from thighs? No, well that can definitely do it. Oh heat? Yeah. Shafing? Like heat from? No, I mean well that can definitely do it. Do you think dying to get the Disney rash? No, probably not, but it does happen. Hey everyone, we're plus-size park hoppers. We range in sizes from 2x to 5x. Make sure you like this video and follow us for plus-size Disney tips and tricks. If you don't know what the Disney rash is, consider yourself lucky. It's also known as exercise-induced vasculitis. It can happen when you're exposed to heat and if you're exercising for a long period of time. So they're walking and they're getting rashes.

Yeah. And it's called the Disney rash. That's what they're calling it. Should Disney sue them for that? I mean, yeah. It should, right? It's, I mean, it's a negative association with the park. Disney pox?

You wouldn't want them to. You could say, like, you know, it's like anywhere it could be the, I mean, outdoor mall rash. It's anytime they're hot and walking more than they normally do. So it's, you know, but this is- But the Disney ones are so excited.

But it's all, yeah, it's all centered around Disneyland. So they, you know, I mean, if I'm Disney, maybe I, you know. You think Walt Disney had this in mind when he's talking about Jews and stuff way back in the day? I think I think he thought that maybe there would be like loose hippos in the park to, you know, to eat people. Yeah. Or, you know, I don't know. I don't think he envisioned. It's the hippocrasy of it. Yes. Yes.

Which are both super common in Disney World because you can walk between five and ten miles a day The rash typically appears on that's not walking. I got news for you. Yeah, I know the word walking I've seen walking before that ain't it. Yeah, that's a I Mean sauntering I would say ambling kind of Lurching teetering teet Teetering. Teetering. Toddling. Toddling. That would call that a toddle.

Is it toddling or tottering? Tottering? I don't know. Is totdling not a word? Is it totdling? Depends which... Are you from Asia? Tottering.

Wobbling, certainly. Yeah. Yeah? Yeah. Exp? Yeah. Exposed parts of your lower legs. It can cause an itching and burning sensation and just be downright uncomfortable. First aid recommended using.

Oh wow, did you see that? She took her hand off, she was doing a crane kick and she took her hand off at the last minute. Oof. Hoo wee. Man, I got a video of myself at the dog beach. Yeah. In Santa Barbara.

It's probably the worst, the ugliest video, ugliest picture of me I've ever seen in my life. A video. I look like a corpse that someone dragged out of a river. Really? Yeah, like Huck Finn. Geez. Yeah.

It was Huck Finn, right? They shoot a cannon to get the dead bodies up. Yeah, I Huck Finn. Geez. Yeah. Was Huck Finn, right? Where they shoot a cannon to get the dead bodies up? Yeah, I think so. I haven't read it in 30 years, but, or more. The zombies in Last of Us that explode. Yeah. Got all the press all, oh man, I look exactly like, it's horrible.

Jesus. I saw it, I just delete that immediately. I don't ever want to see that, even though I'm trying to forget that happened. Yeah. I've never seen myself from the back before. And it's like, this is disgusting. That's somebody else.

I'm never taking my shirt. Now I understand why Mexicans always wear their shirts and their jeans at the beach. I'm never going to do it again. I'm not going to show them. I've been meaning to ask for years. Aloe vera and cortisone to ease the symptoms. We've also seen some people put sunblock on their lower legs. Cortisone is the only thing that's effective there. Not the aloe vera and cortisone to ease the symptoms. We've also seen some people put sunblock on their lower legs to try to-

The cortisone is the only thing that's effective there. Not the aloe? Aloe vera is pretty much bullshit. Oh, really? Pretty much. Nothing in it at all? I don't know. I mean, maybe there's been more recent,

it's kind of one of those things- It's not good for burns? It feels good because it's kind of soothing, but I don't think there's any real empirical evidence that I could be wrong, but it's like the health benefits of green tea. It's so- I didn't even know about that.

So vastly, to get any sort of benefit, if you get anything at all, you gotta drink like gallons of the shit. Oh. Like having your green tea every morning doesn't do shit. What if I drink gallons of it? I could do that tea every morning doesn't do shit. What if I drink gallons of it? I could do that. Maybe still doesn't do shit.

Still doesn't? Yeah. So the only plant with medicinal properties, still cocaine. You're saying. For numbing maybe. Interesting. There's probably a few, there's probably other ones too. Yeah.

And health. Yes, and health. That's something we're gonna try. Not pot at all. Like if you wanna get rid of your kids, like I got a infestation of kids over here. Right, exactly. Oh god. Jesus Christ. Oh no. Cooling the area with an ice pack or a cold shower can also provide relief.

Lowering your body temperature and elevating your legs are also known to help. Oh no, what was that, a bitch doing Lamaze in there? You know, all experienced. Sean, what is this? She's cooling her fucking gooch out? What is this? This is like when your houseboat springs a leak

and you got tarps all over everything and you turn on an industrial fan. And so she's laying on a bed with her legs held up in stirrups, and she's getting a pap smear. And the world's ugliest bagel. Presented without comment. Oh God. Disney's gotta shut this shit down, man.

You know? Disney's gotta shut this shit down, man. You know? But they're also giving tips to come out to the park. For people who might be like... Well, I mean, like how... Aloe? Cortisone gel? I mean, just for fat people to come...

I mean, Disney does... Disney wants everybody who pays to come through the gate, you know? Not everybody. I mean... Surely not everybody. I think they... Well, and the food, concessions, all that kind of stuff. I think they so yeah, maybe they definitely Definitely want that Whoo, so she's doing in their eyes. I think she's doing more good than harm

Look at how far the beds is the bed rated for this. I you know that's like cratering out It's like Omni manMan smashed into this bed. Maybe that picture is taken from the hallway and she actually flopped on the bed and it tilted the room. Oh. Maybe this is a Disney cruise. Oh my God.

You think this is probably the most exercise she's done all of her life. Disney rash, but those of us who do come prepared with aloe vera and cortisone in their park bags. It mostly happens in the summer. That was a weird like mouth movement. What was she doing? It was like, it was almost like a fish. She was spitting the krill out of her. Oh, shut up.

The krill! Spilted it out. You know? Oh, God. You push all the water out. This is very odd though. Through the, the baleen. Odd, yeah, odd, very good.

Odd close up to you. I only know that because of Pokemon's name. Happen on hotter days all year round. We hope that these tips help if you ever find yourself personally victimized by the Disney rash. What? Personally what? Victimized? She's like dressed as like C5PO. What is she dressed as here? C300PO. C3PO my god. Hahahaha

Hahahaha Hahahaha Oh god. Why did they make a C3PO shirt in a 6XL or whatever that is? It looks like a monster! It looks like a face! Like a truck! C3PO!

Guys would wear that shit too. Jesus Christ. Uhh... okay. that shit too. Jesus Christ. Okay. Fat Watch assisted leaps in plus-size ballet class. This is from Robot Engineer. Okay. Is there like a like a like a sling type? It's actually people doing this. This couldn't possibly go poorly. Ah ha ha! Ah ha ha! They got that ballerina outfit and everything! So it's a bunch of fat chicks dressed up like Swan Lake and they do- they pretend

to do ballet and they got a fat chick on either side of them hoisting them up in the air! We'll see. The hoisting remains to be seen. Seen like free willy. Then they blue screen out the broads on the side.

Oh my god! Oh Jesus! Look at how happy they are when they dismount on that two inch leap Hmm That one only got one foot off the ground you mean who They haven't left the ground in probably five years. You know? Of their own volition. They've fallen, sat on something with the assistance of gravity,

but they haven't pushed themselves off the face of the earth in years. No, I mean, that's probably true. Yeah, that's probably true. Hey, you know, I don't know why I don't find, this one is not as funny to me as like, it's like, at least you're doing something. Are you? I look at it like that. Like, at least you're, are you more active than you would be? Like, otherwise? Like, yeah, I mean, is it rearranging

the deck chairs on the Titanic? It's always the eating. Well, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. This is, this to me just looks like a, I don't know. It's just like an activity. It's just like a hobby. Maybe a percentage will go, you know, maybe I could do some exercise or maybe I could. This is like fit face, like black face. This is fit face.

Oh yeah, I'm doing ballet too. Like really? Yeah, yeah, me and my, me and my, what do you call a group of cows? Or like herd? Me and my herd head over to the studio and then they they lift me up, you know? We're doing ballet too. Yeah, you know, I mean you can... I'm more cynical than you though, I think. On, in this, when it comes to this. Yeah, in this, yes. In this regard. Uh-huh. Vinnie sent this in? Okay, let's see. Vinnie? Oh, Vinnie sends, okay, so a bunch of women

running at the camera, a bunch of fat chicks. And honestly, these at least appear to me, they're not that big. Yeah, these girls. I mean, in comparison to some of the stuff that we've seen where it's a, you know. Telephoto lens. Well, it's like whether ones who have like Instagram accounts and they're like literally 400 pounds in a thong Yeah, like that's yeah. This is just girls being girls Oh, I see

Okay So it's a bridal shower trend playing all the women run at the camera and then the camera turns around and all the women dressed in their bridal shit. Honka honka burning love, right? Chonka chonka burning love. Is it chonka? I think they changed the words. Oh boy, okay. It's a weird Al version.

And then all the girls in their wedding dresses pretend to wave the bride over because she was left behind because she was too fat. ["Burn Up the Fire"] And then all the friends run back into the not dressed up world. Yeah, to, what are they gonna do? Carry the... They're gonna roll her over. Somebody write, wait a minute, W. Oh shit.

Oh man. This is the stampede that killed Mufasa. Oh no. The carbdashians. Her blood type is barbecue. Her blood type is ragu. That's it. Planning a big fat wedding.

My big fat wedding. Stop the hate comments. It's getting harder to like them all. There's some funny ones. There would be some ones that I would be fairly... Widesmaids. Hahaha! Boy, these are... Ahhhhh!

These are really clever. Oh man. So they grab her, they hitch her up. The doordashians! Hahaha! Ahhhh! Tons of friends got me. Oh, it says something about tons of friends. And then they drag her ass over the back into the Brideland.

Oh my god. These are, these are. Oh god! Yeah. Sean, look at this. Size of this. Look at all the material. You think they charge by the pound of fabric now?

Or the yard or whatever? Yeah. More than... Well, fewer and fewer people buy sailboats. So there are, you know, there's a decent amount of... You got... Left over, you know, canvas or whatnot that stands up to the elements. You buy a new sail for your boat. It's how much? Why is that?

Well, you gotta look at the bridal shower here 49ers offensive line looking good this year wow wow some poor bastard married this for what for what reason well why would you do this i don't know man how would you do this to yourself that's right that's why i try not to be too cynical i go you know good for good him, good for her, whatever. No. Okay. The carbdashians and... The door dash.

Door dash is, it's amazing. Dick Waggles says, let's see here. Okay. After a heated argument, Keen O. Butler, weighing 120 pounds, was beaten and stabbed by his girlfriend, Wendy Thomas, who weighed 300 pounds. This is like right out of a cops episode in the South. It's a skinny black dude with a huge white woman, right? Yeah.

I should go give like talks at inner city schools to the kids. How you figured out how to reach these kids? Yeah, I don't know who told you that lusting after big fat white women is something good to do, but it's not, okay? I don't care what these celebrities do. Stop this before it starts.

You stop this nonsense. This is nothing to be proud of, nothing to aspire to. Just cause she's white doesn't mean it's right. For you. For you. If she's's 300 pounds you get out of town as my that's how I flip my chair around Yeah, right. Right. So you're one of my wife can't flip a chair around and sit on it. She's done. She's gone Right white black Chinese doesn't matter you boys don't have to tolerate that If you want to be proud of yourselves. Yeah, be proud of yourselves You know boy. She looks a happy

So what'd she do she beat him up and stabbed him stabbed him Thomas not him Coroner said yes, she killed them sat on top of him Oh, she crushed him pressing all his weight against his body like a medieval torturer. This crushing weight ultimately led to Butler's death. Thomas was sentenced to serve 18 to 37 years in a hometown buffet after pleading guilty to third degree murder. Wow. Corners said that Thomas beat Butler in the head. I'd say she's 300 pounds.

Does, yeah. Wow. Too tungsten. I'd say she's 300 pounds. Does, yeah. Wow. Too tungsten. But she knocked him out, knocked him out or beat him. So I mean, I would still think, I would still think if it's a life and death thing,

he could have gotten her off. 120 pounds? He's a crack head, obviously. So, you know, it's not really the time you want to be doing benching your max. She might've knocked him out or dazed him and then, you know, sat on him. Couldn't... 300 pounds is a lot, man.

Oh, no, I know. Yeah. I'm just saying... I don't know if I could get some big fat slob. There's ways to hurt, you know, like, I mean, you'll do anything if it's life and death, right? I mean, you're not going to be able to bite her, but you can fucking grab something like, I mean, on her. Yeah. You could lie at least. They don't like to be pinched. Do you wanna go get some dessert?

Yeah. Right? Okay, just let me up. What a burger. Right. Oh, right? They said table leg, not chicken leg. Turkey leg, ham hock, I don't know. All right, that's the Dick Show. Patreon.com slash Dick Show.

See you next, Dick.Show. See you next Tuesday. Good to have you back. Thank you. I wonder what will happen next week. We're just going to have endless conversations about what Democrat can run against Trump. It's a clown car. Maybe some more assassins.

I don't know. Ready? It's a clown car. Maybe some more assassins. I don't know. I still think he's gonna get fucking assassinated before... Oh yeah? JD Vance is like the worst pick ever. A lot of people say that. A guy in... that he was just the CIA in a skin suit? Like, what the fuck are you thinking man? Yeah, but he likes God And he's not funny that's the worst part about Vance he tries to be funny is not Sarcastic shit. All right. Let's see here

Yeah, if I had to do voicemails, sorry guitar talk next week. Guitar talk has been postponed I'm ready to go to sleep. Look at all this shit. Maybe I should just do like a voicemail leftovers show. Yeah. Maybe so. You know, I don't know. I'll try it.

Hey, Dick, you can call me Joe. My rage, what makes me a rage, is ex-boyfriends who don't know how to move on. Okay. Recently, like, I have a friend, her ex-boyfriend is nuts and constantly tears her down and last weekend he thinks that I ended up sleeping with her. Doesn't matter, they haven't been dating for fucking three months so, it doesn't fucking matter so I fucking texted him and told him, like, hey, dude, fucking relax.

Like, I'm going to clear the air. I didn't have sex with her. I might have said something a little off that would make you think that, but nothing happened. And I added on to the end of that, that, you know, hey, man, as far as I'm aware, you guys aren't even dating. It's not your fucking business in the first place. What are you doing? It's green crazy.

Here it comes. And now he wants to fucking beat me up. And. Kill him. You guys friends? I'm going to the bars right now. I'll give you a call back if anything does happen, but I don't fucking know.

Fight him. Get right in his face. Fuck with these guys friends. I'll fuck who I get right in his face. I'll fuck whoever I want. Don't you fucking ever fucking ever don't you ever got don't ever want to think that you're telling me who I Can't fuck ever again in my fucking life Then buy him a shot to humiliate him in front of the whole bar get right in his face Talk about who didn't fuck who get out of here correct his grammar get him all riled up and then correct his grammar

People love that. Love that shit. Hey, Dick. I'm a fireman that just called in. When that hose has water in it, it's actually really rigid, so you probably can't go over the top or any of that. If it's close to the curb, it ain't happening. No, that makes sense. All right, go fuck yourself. Wait, wait, wait. What was the other one? There's so much pressure in the hose. Hey, dude. There, here's the first one.

I'm a fireman in a- How does audio get so much different? A pretty large city. I don't know. In the Midwest. I can think of about zero reason in a big city in which you would need to fuck somebody's car up

and go through the car. There's a fucking fire hydrant on damn near every corner in most big cities. Just go to the other one. It'd probably be faster. And you got to fuck around and break all these windows. I've seen broken windows with the host room before. To me, that's like military guys walking around with their fucking hats on and shit. It's really just turned into some shit that the internet created that isn't necessary. Now, if you have no other choice, okay, yeah, break the fucking windows.

But nine and a half times out of ten, you got another fucking nozzle. Well because the nozzle was pointing parallel to the sidewalk. Oh, it was? Yeah. So he bashed out the windows, parallel to the sidewalk, Oh, it was? Yeah. So he bashed out the windows parallel to the sidewalk, took the hose, turned it through the car, and then turned it down to the fire truck. That's weird.

He's just a fucking asshole. Yeah, that's weird. If the nozzle was aimed at the car, then it would be different. That's a different thing. It wasn't. I didn't see the picture. I have seen it again, but I thought it was pretty picture, but yeah. I thought it was pretty fucking obviously

pointed away from the car. Yeah, so it's like, why did you? Cause it wasn't right next to the car either. It was in front of it. Firemen, get away with anything cause you can't shoot a fire. Having a good time. I've had Rachel Maddow and AOC

and all the Liz whoever's in CNBC are just- That's a Maddox. Me too. They're having an orgasm of- This one's Maddox here. I bet they are too. The issue with Maddox's three-hour documentary is that he constantly undermines himself by going back and forth between I'm the most successful person on the planet,

and that's why Dick was going after me and all this stuff. But then, whenever it's convenient for his argument, he's like, I'm the little guy. And you're constantly asking him to stop him because... I'm trying to mind my own business. I don't even have a job. He was just like some random guy working a white-collar office job that didn't really have a job. He was just like some random guy working like a white collar office job. Yeah.

Didn't really have an online presence. And like, yeah, the amount that you made fun of him would not be appropriate because he's, you know, not doing anything and not going after people online and has no audience. But he made the decision to become a professional attention whore. Like he decided that he would put himself out there, get in front of people, do his thing. And at that point, you've kind of revoked the right

to not be criticized. I guess that's what you are when you're a celebrity. So if you're so successful, you're allowed to, or people are allowed to make fun of you. And I think a good a good metrics a new Whether or not the response Is just like fuck is going on and that's an in Trump was saying the things that he was saying Like if Trump got up on stage and said like, you know, like oh this person I can't do a Trump act

I'm so sick of the tricks of making fun of me and I don't even know these people Like would anybody give a shit? No, if you're I'm so sick of Trump accents. You know, the person's making fun of me, and I don't even know these people. Like would anybody give a shit? No. Yeah, he got convicted of rape for a woman that he doesn't know. And people are allowed to make money. No, rape. What?

What, Trump got convicted of rape? He got convicted of... It's no on rape, but yes on sexual assault and yes on harm. It's like totally fucking retarded for a woman that he has never met. For a woman that he's never spoken to other than like a photo op. We're not talking about the Stormy Daniels thing.

No, no, the other one. Okay, sorry. Have you seen that woman? The one that won like millions of dollars? Oh yes, yes, yes. She's fucking cracked out of her mind. I remember, I remember. Yeah, Maddox is a crybaby.

He wasn't even an attention whore. Maddox has always gone after people. Anybody who sends him an email, he posts their email, and researches them and posts their jobs on his site. He's always told people to go after people. I remember him either showing me or us, or I felt like, yeah, like years ago. There's somebody I got fired.

Yeah. There's somebody else I got fired. I know, no, that's where he goes. Yeah, yeah. He's such a cocksucker. All right, let's see here. How about, okay. Hey, Dick and Sean, you know what makes me rage?

What? Working a job where sometimes I just don't get paid on time. You never see it coming, ever. It just happens. You wake up in the morning, you check your bank account, all of your subscriptions have paid themselves off, but now you're in the negative. You haven't gotten your paycheck. And it's all because my fucking boss

won't hire a guy to do it for him. He's so fucking cheap. Well, small company. There's some sort of disconnect. He doesn't understand. Waiting till Monday is not an option for everybody. I can't just keep fucking using credit. I gotta pay that off. Well, the banks don't pay you till Monday is not an option for everybody. I can't just keep fucking using credit I've got to pay that off. Hey you till Monday

Just just because you have a moment of whoops clumsy me. I forgot to submit everybody's paycheck Should yeah, and then we get nothing Payroll yeah, it's a fucking Fucking getting paid on time. Yeah No, I know other people experience this too. Well he doesn't get paid on time either. Not landscaping, building houses. What's that called?

Construction? You understand what I'm saying? Yeah. This is the absolute worst problem. Well because you're... Actually, I probably shouldn't have told him the biggest problem. Everything's on auto pay, you know? Because you can't work late, so why is the money late? Look, if you play's on auto pay, you know, like so. Cause you can't work late.

So why is the money late? If you play it on the show, I know what's up. So hey, go fuck yourself. And that's for you, Sean. You seen the audio? Is he the best audio of the show? No, I, I, did he say audio or was he just saying the message? I don't know.

I don't know. I don't know. I tuned out because his messages are so bad. Uh, I've been on both sides of that equation. People don't, companies don't, the bigger the company is, the slower they are to pay you. So you gotta absorb, everybody absorbs a little bit along the way, but yeah, it's also laziness. It's mostly laziness.

You ain't paid me for this month. Shit. No, that's... The problem is the laziness is... You ain't paid me for this month. Ha ha ha ha! Pfft! Shit. You know, and what's funny about that is you're more likely to realize it than I am. Where it's like, wait a minute, did I interview... Oh shit, I paid you for two months, okay. Oh, cause I try to pay you right when the Patreon...

Oh yeah, I know. All right. Buddy. Buddy. Hey, this is Pete and Bob from Richmond, Virginia. Okay. The pride of Richmond. The fucking rage right now. Uh-huh.

I hate it when fucking people call me buddy. Is that a beer? You know. Hey, buddy. Are you trying to fucking fight me? I'm trying to fucking fight you, see as you fucking say that. I just want to pop one right in your goddamn suck hole again. Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.

Shit. Yeah, that's fighting words. Someone calling you buddy is they're not your fucking buddy. Totally is. Let's go. Let's go, bro. Yeah, buddy is a, yeah. Especially when they pick me up in the chest,

I'm ready just to fucking snap their fucking... You wanna fucking go, buddy? ...and I'm just... it made me rage. Huh? What the fuck are you talking about, buddy? Yeah, hey buddy. Hey buddy. What's your buddy, guy? I'm talking to you fucking queers. Come on, guy, let's go.

Oh, come on! You know I can't fucking have that sort of language on the show. What'd he say? F and Qs. What? Us or who is... People, imaginary people. You can call people queers, but you can't call them fucking. I think he got home from the bar

and was like thinking about somebody calling him buddy at the bar and was like taking more and more offense to it. That's an asshole. Drive your car through the bar. That'll show him. Right. Just drive back there. Tell him you thought it was a Popeyes.

Ha ha ha. Anything else? Oh yeah. Okay. What does it mean? Hey, John. Love you guys. It's a podcast prophet. The Holy Spirit is speaking through me. Watching the broken national convention. What if I didn't tell you it was donkey jelly? Right at the end. national convention right at the end his family and his crackhead mom who is you know ten years playing whatever they're all doing their thing maybe it was just

him like patting his heart looking at someone and then waving to someone else having a heart I wish I had the ability to rewind the fucking TV feed I have, but I don't. And maybe someone can find it, but there is a spot in there where JD Vance does the Taps's chest and then raises his hand out like a zeke aisle. Right. I haven't seen it, but I know where he's going. I haven't seen it, but I know where he's going. Yeah, I... I mean, I doubt that's what he... I mean, that'd be like colossally stupid to like give a low-key shout out to somebody in the crowd or something.

Well, he is as... He's as pro-bank as you could possibly be, so I don't know what he would be Sig Heilig. Okay. Yeah. I mean, he's Peter, he's basically Peter Thiel in a, Peter Thiel in a, in a, in a human suit, like in an Edgar suit. With squished in eyes and no sense of humor. Which is the real tragedy. Yeah.

And the only person who has less charisma than JD Vance on the ticket is his wife, Usa, or whatever her name is, sitting there with a permanent scowl. It's really amazing you watch it and you see how excited all the venture capitalists are, which I, between venture capitalists and socialists in the White House, I don't really know which has a more fuck me effect. Like, I know both of them just want to take... One of them wants to take my money, which I don't like, and one of them just wants to take my wealth, like my future, my ability to ever make money. Venture cap, they just want to make products and containment fields so none of us can ever succeed again. It just looks like more and more that way. Yeah. The groundwork's been laid for a long time but it's yeah it's very it's

it's I to anybody who tells me they're disillusioned like I get it. I get it. There's I really I'm just voting for Trump joking about fat women at this point. I don't care. I really don't think there are reasons like for optimism for this country, no matter who gets elected. I really don't think it can be turned around.

It's kind of sad to say that, because I mean, I think I'll live for a while longer, but it's not going to get easier. No. And that's very depressing. The only thing that will be good with Trump is low interest rates, because when interest rates are low,

everybody with money. Will he appoint another, you know, like a... Oh yeah. And then it's, I mean, they're gonna have to fucking... And then it's 3%. It you know, like a... Oh yeah. And then it's, I mean, they kind of have to. Then it's 3%. It's down, down, down, down. It's gonna have to, if I can come down. Because...

And what happens, do the prices go back to skyrocketing for homes? They will, but, they will, but, if interest rates are low, people have to find somewhere to put their money, to make more, to keep it from hyperinflated to nothing. So they have to pay, they have to like invest in tech shit. They have to just, they have to just blow money gambling

on whatever. Like the.com happened because of interest rates. They're like, I don't know, I can't buy bonds, so I gotta buy something. I guess I could put it in the S&P, but it's doing nothing. What do you got? You got some kind of a new fancy kind of phone or something? We got a scam for you.

Some kind of internet dildo? Yeah, I'm into that. When interest rates are low, everybody gets hired, everybody gets money. It was great. It's when they're high that everything's fucked. Especially with $30 trillion in debt. Oh, it's fake.

You can't have. Why even think about the debt anymore? Yeah, Oh, it's free. You can't have. Yeah, why even think about the debt anymore? Yeah. No, it's pointless. Good night. Alright, that's it. Alright, see ya. Thank you. No, Nick. Oh well.

I'm shooting a trailer today for Tw- Destiny's son got banned from Twitch. Because he said he was going to kill Destiny. His son? Is he going to kill his dad? Yeah, his son was playing with an airsoft gun. How old is his kid? Like 16 or something.

Oh really? He was a little kid. It was cute. He's like, Destiny's so cucked. He's cocking an airsoft gun. And then he walks off the screen like he's going to go kill him. And he banned his account. You can't joke about killing your father? What's the world coming to? What's the world coming to? What's the

point? I thought this is what you guys wanted! Great. Alright. Alright, goodbye. Later.