The Dogg Zzone by 1900HOTDOG - Dogg Zzone 9000 - Episode 101, Streets Of Fire With Rusty Shackles

Episode Date: November 23, 2022

Brockway invites Seanbaby and Hot Dog Artist Rusty Shackles to jump in his jalopy and tear ass down the Streets of Fire. It's the best movie ever made that also inspired a video game genre. Plus this is the breakout role that gave us Rick Moranis as a tough guy! He only played nerds before this, can you believe it??

One nine hundred hot dog. One nine hundred hot dog. Our podcast slams with maximum hype. Say hot dog podcast word. Yeah. When you taste that nitrate power, you're in the dog zone for an hour. Come on.

You know the number. One nine hundred. One nine hundred hot dog. One nine zero zero. One nine hundred hot dog. One nine hundred. One nine hundred hot dog. One nine zero zero zero.

Yeah. Nine thousand. Welcome to the dog zone nine thousand. The official podcast of one nine hundred hot dog. America's last comedy website. Fucking text and images. We're still doing it. It's amazing.

They still exist. It's the best job. It's crazy that we're still holding out. Nobody does this anymore. We're your only option. We're the only game in town, baby. We won't go video. Find us on TikTok.

God damn it. We're gonna go video soon, I'm sure. I'm generic karate man Robert Brockway and with me is my comedy partner and unspecified ninja Sean, baby. I love this title. Unspecified ninja is the role you were going to play. It means you're a good ninja.

That's true. And our guest, the wrestling mayor, Rusty Shackles. Gentlemen, how are you? It's been, thank you for having me again. I appreciate it. We had no choice.

We had no choice because you, you introduced our topic to me. But before we get to that, which is going to take, I want to say 30 hours of our lives. Do you have anything to plug Rusty? So actually, I can say I recently released the hardcore

gaming 101 digest for the, The Bride of Retrohor. It's a book about Retrohor and I did the cover for it. Retrohor video games, I should say. And other than that, you might find me online. You might not.

Who knows what happens when this episode comes out. But you'll find my stuff all over the internet. I'm out there, just Google me. You'll find me or a band from Britain. And I'm not, I have no musical ability, so I'm not there. That is a good point about our plugs. Everything has to be preface now with,

I'm not sure which one of these will exist or which one I'll be on. It's a good fucking come find me. I'll be on, I'll be standing alone on a sinking island somewhere. We're Marified on Mastodon. Your cover featured Night Trap, which was, I thought was very cool because

I called that one of the worst games of all time. And I felt very confident about that. But like no one in the current age we live in agrees. Like that sort of had this renaissance of people saying, hey, that Night Trap game was really innovative and fun. But to explain to the listeners, because no one played that fucking game,

it was like a full motion video game on the, I think a Sega CD featuring the girl from different strokes. And it was kind of adult, like they were in their 90s, like they were trying to like do cinematic style, like eroticism. And you sort of played the part of a, I guess like a command center operator

and you were controlling like the traps in a house to keep these teen girls from getting murdered. And most of the time you're just watching nothing. You're like, oh, empty room, empty room. Oh, shadowy stranger. And then you'd like try to find a trap to kill him. Usually didn't work. So basically you're memorizing eight minutes of a terrible movie

and that's the game. And so I think I was right in saying it's terrible. But again, it's, people came around on it. Well, as it was released, I would, I would 100% agree. So, but like they've made improvements over the last few years where you can actually see every room's video at the same time. So it's much more playable.

And it's also, you gotta think too, like the generation who's grown up with Five Nights at Freddy's and basically that's the grandparent. I see. Yeah. That's the grandson of Nitra. But I should mention too that you were saying, you were like playing a member of a team.

You actually take on a, the team that you're part of is called SCAT. Right. Which is the Sega control attack team. Not to be confused with, you know, the other SCAT. Right. Or the other SCAT. No.

You get a lot poop on me. The only other kind of SCAT. But no, my kid loves the game and actually he, he was, he always talks about it at school and he had one of his friends over and they were watching some of the scenes. And so they, they auger walk. Like it's become this thing where they act like the augers in the video game. I'm like, please stop this.

I don't want this anymore. Yeah. This is getting weird. That's pretty excellent. The enduring legacy of Night Tramp. Weirdly enough, I have a perfect segue into what we're going to talk about. Streets of Fire. My segue is, have any of you seen, by their view, seen Streets of Fire 2?

Have you even tried? I have not. No. Don't. Oh my God. We're going to talk about Streets of Fire, which fucking rules, which is one of the best movies ever made. What an incredible movie.

Unironic. And sometimes ironic. Sometimes ironic. It's every form of enjoyment all at once. And there's a great hook that we've got into it. But then I tried to revisit. I remember I watched Streets of Fire 2 way more recently than the last time I've watched Streets of Fire.

So I've probably 2010 or so. So I remember it being terrible, but it is very much like a deep sequel to Night Trap. It is just, it looks like an FMV game. It has all the production quality and direction of an old Sega CD FMV game. Only they're also kind of pretentious about art. It's like the worst way to be, especially coming from Streets of Fire to have the audacity to ruin it in that specific way.

Was it Casper Vandean as the Michael Paray role? No, it was Michael Paray. Wow. Unfortunately. I think it's a road to hell, it looks like. It was. Yeah, there you go. Yeah, it's, I tried to revisit it again just for this podcast.

I was literally being paid to do it. This is my job. I could not do it. I just couldn't do it. I got through the intro and I skipped ahead and I'm like, oh my God, they're still doing this. I saw a YouTube video of the song that they end Streets of Fire with. And it was a different band covering it and Michael Paray was like up against

the stage crying. Is that from that movie? I think that's from that movie. I think they, yeah, they take some of the, I don't think they get the rights to the music, but they definitely, they definitely take some of it back. But let's talk about the good Streets of Fire first. That's about that. Streets of Fire 1984 action.

They kind of bill it as a rock opera. I don't know that it goes full rock opera. I think there's three full music videos, which is, I think that makes it count. I think that's like last dragon level of stop the movie for music video. It kind of feels like if you could, if you've never seen the movie and you should by all means watch it right now, stop the podcast, come back after you've watched it. It's somewhere tonally between the Warriors and Little Shop of Horror and Sin City. Like it's a weird combination of those three films.

I feel like there's a bit of noir in it. Like the dialogue is real snappy, like a, like a 60s movie. Oh yeah. I, young Frank Miller was just taking notes, watching it the whole time. It has that kind of like Mickey Spelane, but 80s. Yeah. You can see very clearly like whose lives were just completely ruined by this movie. Like they watch this and then they're like spending the rest of their life trying to

chase it and remake this somehow else because it just, it was just like, yes, this is what life should be. I can see if this caught you on the right, like part of your life, like this would be the coolest thing you've ever seen. It absolutely was. And that Hill actually, Walter Hill director and, and writer, he wrote this one too, I believe he literally followed that as, as his guideline. He says, somebody once asked him why he made this movie.

And he said, I wanted to put all the things I thought were great in one movie. Like fucking sweet cars and make it out in the rain and neon and fucking trains and chases and rock and roll and just leather jackets. It really is like an artist, like at the peak of their talent and ambition, like making their dream movie. This is like the positive version of the negative underground comedy movie. Yes. Like it balances out the universe in some way.

And yeah, like he's a visionary genius. Like Walter Hill has made several of my favorite movies and like, this is him at just like full art mode, like just passion project. This is the coolest fucking thing I'll ever make. And it flopped hard. Like, I think this lost seven or eight million dollars in the theaters, but. Which is just, and it's incredible. They also gave it.

I agree that they probably shouldn't have given it as much money as they had, which we'll get into, but it should have made all the money in the world, especially the lasting influence it seems to have on pop culture. Like it changed so much after this. Yeah. It's just, I fucking, I love Walter Hill. I love Walter Hill the more I found out about him. I went to read.

Walter Hill made the best Yojimbo remake. It's one of the most remade movies of all time. He made The Last Man Standing with Christopher Walken and Bruce Willis. And it's just, it's so fucking cool. Well, what's interesting too, I think that like with, with a lot of his properties that he's done, right, particularly this, The Warriors and like the Last Man Standing, a lot of these feel like they could have been made in, or they could have been set in any time period.

Yeah. If you've made this as a samurai movie, totally works. If you made this as a western, totally works. Make it a futuristic movie. Maybe. It was lightsabers, I guess. I don't know. I don't know what kind of was.

It kind of was. It was definitely like not, it was an alternate timeline for sure. This was not. Yeah. This was full eighties and full fifties. The set designer and the costume designer like maxed that out. They're like, every character is like, I'm from the fifties or I'm from the eighties. And then they would just mix them up and throw into a scene together.

The set designs too was just, it is impeccable. It's in its own universe. It is removed from time. So maybe it is a futuristic tale. Yeah. It's definitely like an alternate universe. Like it's, it's kind of weird. Like the tech is really low.

Like he has these photos that are clearly like 1920s photos of his old babe. And, and the cars are all fifties. But the guns are like very modern eighties guns. It's kind of, it's kind of like the Batman animated series, rest of peace, Kevin Conroy, but like the, you know, where it was very like, they had modern inventions. They had computers, but they also had blimps. Yeah.

Very much so. Like I, again, I think maybe that's somebody who had their life ruined by this movie. And I had, had gone on to be like a designer on Batman, the animated series. It definitely was just like, I, I need to make that movie. It needs to be me that did that. I need to backwards through time, make streets of fire. Yeah. And every scene you watch it, you're like, this is so cool.

Why don't more movies do this? And then you're like, Oh, right. Cause it lost so much money. Cause it lost so much money. Cause it all failed. I don't think it needed to lose that much money. I don't think it needed to have as much money as it did because it had a lot of money. And it went, I believe double over budget.

So they, my favorite, my favorite story about that is the, is the tarp. They, they, the movie, it looks gorgeous. I think it was probably the correct move, every single move they did to come together with this, but they had this fucking set that they built this entire, you know, town, this sort of Manhattan Bronx that never existed area called the battery. And they built it on the universal lot. And then because they wanted it to be like a specific kind of nighttime, you know, like a noir throughout the whole thing,

they built a tarp to go over this entire multi-block set. And the tarp alone cost back then in 1984 dollars, $1.2 million. Wow. Somebody's a tarp grifter. That's almost $4 million in today's money. A 4 million. You have a corrupt guy in your tarp to bank chain. I think somebody in there might have run off with $880,000. Yeah.

And it was such a bad, it was a bad thing. It was a bad idea objectively. It worked to make this movie. So I can't say it was, it was the wrong choice, but they said that the sound of the tarp like flapping in the winds, the sound of this massive multi-block tarp was just booming like thunder. And it fucked with all of their dialogue and audio. So they had to jump for the $2 million tarp.

I can see that on your tarp. Come on, Walter. Plus they had like birds nesting in it. They were getting shit on all the time. It's amazing this movie came out of it with decisions like that. That's one of the best things. But it's all fucking Walter Hill. He just gets like, no, we're going to tarp this bitch.

And what are you going to do? Argue? Yeah, I'm not. He made 48 hours, give him money. Yeah. He's got like a reputation of being like kind of a hard ass tough guy too. So I guess he'd kick your ass if you brought up the tarp. He showed up to this movie with his own custom-made director's chair

that said Lone Wolf on the back. See, I didn't know it was like that. I was like, your reputation's tough guy in Brockway's like, no, this fucker's chair said Lone Wolf. He's like, Sam Peckinpaw out of the way postage. Jesus. I'll show you how it's fun. He just shows up, spurs, janglin.

Fucking, you get the hell out of Walter Hill's way. That was amazing. I'd have to fight him. If you sat in front of me with a chair that said Lone Wolf, I'd say, you're the man who will kill me. Or die trying. There can't be two of us. That's sort of the theme of this movie is that like, fuck all this.

Let's fight to the death. You know, I love it. Well, let's say I figure we're, I'm not sure if we're going to go through the movie chronologically. Absolutely, we are. It's a movie podcast. So I should say this movie's bonkers and do the whole thing. But the, I think that like, not going too far into it already, but like if you've ever seen Walter Hill intro a movie,

understand that Walter Hill knows how to make an entry like a motherfucker. Yeah. Like it's just the pacing, the music, the speed of it. It's just like, God, this is so good. Yeah, it opens with like the concert. Yeah. And it's just like, I mean, it has like the cuts of a music video.

Like, like when she spins, the camera spins and like, Willem Dafoe comes in in the shadows and you don't see a space for like half the song. And finally it shows his face and you're like, oh shit, this guy is evil. And then Diane Lane's like, yeah. And Willem Dafoe's like, no. And then he just takes the lead singer and that's the fucking plan. They're just like, grab the lead singer, cause mayhem and we leave. It's just the most smash and grab fucking like human kidnapping.

I know it's famous for influencing final fight more, but I almost like if you could pause the movie there and start playing the double dragon intro. Yes. Because he slings her over his shoulder and carries her off. And it's like, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom. You just, it's so well done. Like that intro in its entirety could be the start to any really good beat em up game. Like you can, the way it's structured, there's very little dialogue

that could absolutely just be in a text bubble. The way it's like cut back and forth. It's so economical that like tells you everything you need to know without telling you a single thing. And then you just hit start like now it is time to fight. I didn't bring in Tom Cody who's the lead badass where we're going to choose as our character in this beat em up game. But with just like a telegram and words typing over it.

And it's like very, it's very beat em up game. And I submit Tom Cody. It is absolutely. Cody, your ex-girlfriend was kidnapped by Raven. Are you a bad enough dude to come back to your high school town? No joke. That's got to be more words than they used in the letter to some Tom Cody. They were just like, Tom Cody, some troubles here.

Come kick some ass, buddy. And he's like, they superimpose all that with shots of him on a train. Like I'm already on my way. Like I saw that I got a letter and I'm here to kick ass. And I'm going to read the letter along the way to kick ass. And if I could say something to appease the contemporary audience. This is the original save Martha. You think about it because it's Diane Lane who was right.

There you go. Martha Kent. Yeah. She crossed. It's funny too. Because when you watch her here, she's a very beautiful young woman. And now she's Martha Kent. So there's like a point in time where you cross the line from being Superman's

love interest to being Superman's mom. And have a do a net of tools as well. Who was Lana Lang and Superman 3. All respect. You still wouldn't hit it. Come on. Come on, Rusty. Oh yeah.

I didn't hit anybody that was Superman's mom just to say. Because you need that ammunition. If Superman ever comes calling. You need to be able to say like I identify a whole. You think it's so bad for me? Well, I punched your mom. What the fuck are we doing? Okay.

Street supplier. We're getting back on track. So he comes to the diner where like, like one of the lower level gangs, like the greaser, like poker gang is there. And they're like terrorizing the diner. And Tom like just beats the shit out of the main guy. He pulls like a butterfly knife and Tom like slaps him in the face. It takes his knife, does a little butterfly thing,

hands it back to him and repeats it. And slap him in the face like 18 times. It's not a single slap in the face. It's just rapid cuts of him getting the shit slapped out of him. Like a time massage. Butterfly knife flipping. That was like quite the art of the 80s too. So that's another thing that perfectly ties in the 84 here.

Yeah. It's totally a 50s gang, but they got the 80s butterfly. The road masters. Like the, you can't tell me this is not a beat them up game. Some beat them up game just lifted them and their little like card jackets directly from this movie and put them in there and it's like, that's, that's it. Well, this is this ruined us.

We have to, we're trying to make it in game form. I don't know. Got the, got the streets of fire brain poison. I think it was also nice too that he allowed Deborah Van Volkenberg to not look like a dumpster cigarette as she did in the Warriors. She no longer looks like she smells like trash. And I was like, this is great. She looks like a young, kind of Lisa Bonnet vibes.

And she's very like, for sure. It's a 180 turn from where, where I saw her last in Mulder Hill. But I do love that moment in Warriors when like they see the people out for prom and she kind of tries to doll herself up and swans like, no, no, no, no, you're not like them. You're a full on gross dirt bag. You're a pile of shit. You've got to know it by now.

Yeah. Come on. Don't cover it up. It's the way I like it. Just a burnt out cigarette of a girl. Baby, baby, baby. What happens when you dress up a pile of shit? It's still a pile of shit.

You know that, right? You know. Yeah. Come on. You know that. I didn't think it was funny too. And it was kind of like, I'm sure they had a fun time in the writing room when I was like, there's a shot after around the diner time where he's looking at the concert poster and the concert poster is called. It's her band is called Eileen and the attackers.

And I was like, that's a sensible chuckle right there. Cause you know, it was Eileen and her attackers. Yeah. Yeah. See, I didn't get that. Little fucking Easter eggs in this movie too. Yes. It's got everybody. It's got four million dollar tarps.

It's got bird shit. It's got Easter eggs. Every actor. Yes. So, okay. So, so Tom beats the shit out of the whole gang with a coat rack as if like it's just a given. Like he doesn't even consider for a second not doing this.

And he throws each of them through like the most unbroken part of the windows, which I loved. He's like, I'm going to break every inch of your windows. And it's still the credits. Like it's, it's like, 16 minutes in is when the credit stop. It's wild. I will say that when they steal Eileen,

when the, when the gang comes in and first steals her, she does this like this motion, this, this punching and kicking with her feet motion as she's slung over a guy's shoulder that I swear to God I've seen in video games countless times. Like I feel like they took that from there, from this movie. They took that animation directly. And him, him with his coat rack even is just, he found a weapon. He found a weapon to use.

Pick it up with the coat rack is like some like sitcom mom, something like she's like, oh, let me go get the coat rack in the audience is like, oh, like, but Tom Cody lives it. He doesn't just think about it. He does it. He does it. Let's see. What's that Capcom game?

64th street. Is that the one I'm thinking of? Uh, that's a SNK one. SNK. But that's like Tom Cody's wardrobe, I think is from that. Yeah, I would. Yeah. Good call on that one.

Yeah. 64th street, a detective story. Right. That's the name of it. But this thing, God, it just got, it got seated into pop culture in such a way that things, people didn't even need to see this movie. Some people who are writing years later, this exact movie were inspired by people who were inspired, who were inspired by it.

Like it just drifted down through the levels. And so you don't even know why this is cool that you're doing it, why this guy has to dress like that. Like, yeah, that's fucking cool. We all know that now. Well, since we're still early in this, like, I don't know if this is like something that like, if you've seen the movie poster for it, the standard, uh, illustrated theatrical poster, um, I think some of them, I know talking to a couple of 90s

comics fans, but the style of it is very much like Mark Texira, who did ghost writer in the nineties and did like the, when Black Panther relaunched in their Marvel nights, like I always thought it was Mark Texira. Like that's the style of the artwork is another thing. I'm like, that's something I've actually seen. I think people picked up influence from that poster as well. It's the most influential movie. That's what we're trying to prove here today.

I think we already have, uh, so good job. This is our best. Yeah. We don't need to have this much substance in the dog zone. The cast was amazing too. We mentioned Willem Dafoe, who was in this movie as a young man, as he's still completely terrifying, but he's also kind of beautiful back then. And so, and they fill him just like he's smooth, baby, Willem Dafoe.

He looks like a lot of creature, right? He's just, he's very smooth. He looks like a, like if like Dracula was a greaser. Yeah. Which makes me think I'm like, man, I would love a castle of Venus set in the 1950s, but that's another story. But he doesn't look like he's 20 years old, but he has like the eyes of an ancient Dracula.

Yeah. Yeah. He's always had, he's got the exact same eye. It's, it's Willem Dafoe eyes and he has always had them. They never aged. He's a 500 year old teenager. He would have been a five year old kid with those exact eyes. Same size and everything.

Just, yeah. Just leering at you and licking his lips. It's also got. And there was no dentist in his town. That's the thing. That's the unfortunate. And he's never fixed it. God.

God love him. If I saw Willem Dafoe as a five year old, I would call the police. I don't know. I don't know what's here, but you need to come now. You would, you would know that the cops couldn't help you. Like this is, this is like turned to God. Something, something more powerful than he needs to defeat. Sorry, fella.

I can't help you. That's the other theme of this movie is the cops are just fucking pointless. Yeah. But you know what's refreshing about this is we had this, you know, throughout the eighties throughout the nineties, cops were fucking pointless. That's why you got to turn in your badge and go rogue. But they, the cops in this movie acknowledge at every turn that they're completely fucking useless. Yes.

And are very sorry about it. I don't know, man. I can, there's nothing I can do. I know he's breaking the law, but I'm a cow. I'm scared of it. What am I going to say? The cops do actually really blow it when these guys Russian stage take a woman. In plain view of everybody.

And then they just like drive away on their, on their bikes. Like two cop cars get destroyed in this like hilariously. Like they just don't do anything. They just show up and one of them that with the two cops, we actually followed later in the movie. Like they just hit a garbage can and flipped the car over in the case. That's their entrance. They didn't come in and do something and then flip a car. They flipped a car and you're like, Oh, cops are here.

Just skid into the scene. Having already failed. Bill Paxton has already made an appearance. We didn't mention it. He, he grabs one of the guys in the process of the kidnapping. And instead of like punching him or detaining him, he goes, Hey, I don't want any trouble. It just gets blasted in the face. Which is his theme for the movie.

It gets blasted in the face. Bill Paxton as, as Clyde the bartender and his fucking truly, truly excellent pompadour gets his, gets his check offs, punch in the face. He's gonna, he gets punched in the face at the start. And you know, it's going to come in handy later when he just keeps getting punched in the face. Yeah, they call it back. So yeah, they take off, they take off with Ellen Aime, who is, is Tom Cody's ex-girlfriend. And, and now a big star singing, singing meatloaf songs.

Just a powerful woman singing meatloaf songs, which is all. It's weird too. I think the first time I saw the movie, I felt like, I thought it was ironic that the song called, We're Going Nowhere Fast, goes on forever. And like, it's weird because like the last, like, I'm not musically inclined, but like the last two, like sections of the movie is just her saying Godspeed over and over. And then, oh, oh, oh, oh, and it goes on for like a minute. Like, I hope this doesn't ruffle any feathers, but the song ends worse than Outcast Bob,

where it's like the first two minutes, awesome. I'm having a great time. Last minute, I'm like, okay, I get it, let's wrap it up. See, I disagree incredibly hard. This is Jim Steinman who did write all of meatloaf songs and a lot of Bonnie Tyler's. And this is what he does. He writes 20 minute songs that just, that climax 18 times that just, that just started. I didn't even, I didn't even know that.

And about the, the song, this movie and song, I said, this is a Bonnie Tyler and a meatloaf song smashed together. Yes, it is. That's just in my notes. Like, that's all he does. That's all Jim Steinman's every single song is, is exactly, exactly that. And he, he did the opening and closing numbers to this. And they, they don't play them in their entirety, but they're, they still take seven minutes each. So yeah.

Caught the one at the end is so good. Like, legitimately amazing. It's so weird. It wasn't a hit. And maybe it was like five or six years too late, but that should have been the most over, like performed karaoke song. Like that should be ending every American Idol season. It's just this amazing, powerful song about like just sort of nothing about sort of being young.

Oh, yes. Oh, yes. God, that's so good. That's got 1.2 meatloafs. Never stop. Never stop climaxing. Climaxes. Climaxes.

Every 30 seconds. That's the thing about a meatloaf song is he'll stop and like level with you. He's like, oh, okay. Okay. Then it comes back. But this is just, it just keeps going and going. And that, I think I played, I think that's a 30 second clip. It's, it feels like two hours in a great way.

In a great way. It feels like every, every Jim Steinman song you listen to, it feels like you've just done something. Like I just listened to the song and I'm like, shit, I'm exhausted. I felt like I just got a, I got off a treadmill. Like when I heard it, I was like, yeah, this is good. Yeah. I'm done. I was like legitimately pumped hearing that song.

Yeah. Like I, because I've seen this movie a few times and I always leave it in such a good mood. And that's gotta be it. Cause there's a couple of points in the movie where it drags a little. Yeah. And it ends with that fucking song. And it ends with that song and Tom Cody just disappearing from the movie and Hollywood forever. Yes.

No, he's got, that dude has so many credits, but like after this, it's just all like fucking space vampires and dinosaur scoundrels. It's just fucking, this fucking guy, like no one gave him a shot except for Walter Hill. And even then, like the interviews I read, like they didn't get along. They hated him. And here's a quote from one of the producers, Larry Gross, who says, we all knew in our hearts that Michael was disappointing, but we felt that we had compensated adequately in making this fun, exciting, stylized world.

So they viewed him so disappointing they had to make the rest of the movie good to try to make up for him. They just, I really feel like he did a good job in this movie. Like watching this, you wouldn't know he wasn't a great actor because he, he fits that, that snappy dialogue. So well, I think he fits it way better than Rick Moranis did. Like the way that, you know, I say a thing and you say a thing and I say, you know, well, you know what I'm talking about.

I feel like his level of acting is, is perfect for this. Anyway, it's a perfect movie. I think Rick Moranis whipped ass in this though. Like maybe, maybe he didn't belong as much as the other characters, but he was just a savage little goblin. And Rick Moranis is, is Ellen's new boyfriend and kind of a corrupt promoter character. But he's also Tom Cody's cock. All right.

Sorry. And yes, and yes, he is part of a cold, colding fetish with Tom Cody. So he's, he's in to get Ellen back and he joins in forcibly with, with Tom Cody and McCoy, who is the mechanic because we need, we need a mechanic. We need a wheel man. Yeah. No, a wheel man and a mechanic and an all purpose. You probably have this in your notes, but she was supposed to be an overweight, like,

like former soldier just looking for a job. Like a down on his luck dude. And I love that they didn't change a single thing about that. I don't know. I feel like they had to have because there's a lot of time spent explaining why she isn't fucking Tom Cody. Like there's at least 20 lines of this movie that are like, okay, audience, I know Tom Cody should be fucking here by now, but here's why he's not.

So yeah, he meets, he meets McCoy, who is a very tomboyish ex soldier and wheel man and mechanic and heavily implied gay. They do try to walk that back at the end, which he says, Oh, the guy, the person I've been talking about where I've been saying person this whole time was man. Like, no, I know what you're doing. I know what you had to do here. She may have an ex and then, but when she talks about the ex, she goes, but that was before I was a soldier and she kind of says it weird.

And it's like, okay, this is like a euphemism. So that's 1984. That's our crew. That's our cast of characters. You would put your quarter in and choose between Rick Moranis and his checkered suit and checkered bow tie different checkers McCoy, the badass soldier and Tom Cody. And his duster and generic brawling. I want to talk about McCoy getting introduced in this movie because she's just kind of this

cranky lady at the bar and Tom Cody's not quite hitting on her. But then Bill Paxton is the bartender and he's like, Hey, can you even pay for those drinks? And then he's like, she's like, yeah, I can. And she puts like some change on the bar because again, the money in this movie doesn't make any sense because you can't tell if it's 1950 or a different universe. He goes, well, I don't like your face. And she fucking punches him out, goes behind the bar, steals a bottle of tequila and they take off. That's two times Paxton is down now.

And it's where it's still in the first, I want to say 10 minutes of the movie. He's the only person who's been who's been taken out by a Terminator, Predator, and McCoy. This is all Tom needs to see. Like you're on the team. You can knock Bill Paxton out with one punch. This is great. They go pick up generic weapons from a mechanic, which is an insane decision. Like they wander up to a garage and the mechanic opens a trunk full of weapons.

Because this movie has to just keep you unmoored, like off balance the entire time. You never know wherever anything is coming from. Things just pop open and shoot out guns. And they meet with Billy Fish, Rick Moranis to get cash for paying Ellen's, you know, ransom. I thought the cash was just so Tom Cody was, he was like a mercenary. He's like overhead or something. Yeah, I'm going to go rescue Diane Lane. He's like, OK, I'll give you $10,000.

Oh, you're right. You're right. He was get the cash for him and he would go do it. And then he gave. He was going to give 10% to McCoy. Like McCoy's in this as a not a full partner as like a she gets $1,000. Which if this is 1950 is a million dollars. They talk about that 10 grand like it is fucking like fucking money like retire on an island money.

You can probably buy like three issues back then for that price for that. And considering this might even be the 20s, we don't know. We have no idea that that could literally be a million dollars. Rick Moranis talks about it like he owns them. He's like, dude, I am paying you $10,000. Like it must come up six, seven times that like this is like I own you money. You don't ask questions when you're getting this kind of cash. Apparently that's just how he was.

Like even on. Yeah, he's awesome. See, I also thought he was just a genuinely I thought Rick Moranis was the kind of guy he looks like. We're just like, oh, I know exactly who that guy is just taking a look at him. What a nice man. And apparently he just relentlessly harassed Michael Parry to the point that he that he blames Rick Moranis for his lackluster performance here, which I'm with you, Sean.

I don't really see. But Michael Parry says, Rick Moranis drove me out of my mind in the real world. If someone insults you a couple of times, you can punch him. You can't do that on movie set. He's just this weird looking little guy who couldn't get laid in a whore house with a fistful of fifties, but he would imitate me. And this is such a power move. The first the first thing he says to me is, do you just act cool?

Or are you really cool? That's the first sentence out of his mouth to me. Damn, just cratered. It's amazing. He didn't catch a coat rack, to be honest. Just demolished. And Michael Parry, for his part, makes it seem like I was so psychologically oppressed by Rick Moranis's savage, savage opener.

Do you just act cool or are you really cool? That he couldn't act in this movie. And that's why the movie was destroyed. It just blames him. Blames Rick Moranis for psychologically dominating him from. Michael Parry. I mean that, I guess he kind of has this in the movie, but that interview, he carries like real like high school bully energy.

Like, how is this guy talking shit at me? Because I'm more handsome. I could punch him in the face. Like it just doesn't, it doesn't make sense to him. He's like, I was the fucking football captain. Yeah, he's definitely got this. Like I came in here as like the quarterback. I don't understand why this doesn't work on high school rules.

He was so, he was so just thrown by Rick Moranis having confidence. He's like, what? Look at you. I should be beating you up. Right. We all agree. We all agree. In real life, you can just beat people up, right?

Not like a movie set where you have to not beat people up. Well, then he's got lone wolf, Walter Hill, Boston. Yeah. So I'll be like waking up every day with Walter Hill's got a gun in his face. Walter Hill probably beat up four people on the way there. Walter Hill's like, hey, this is fucking real world here, Michael. If you want to beat up Rick Moranis, fucking make your move. We'll all respect it.

But he never did. I didn't think we were talking like his quote unquote career. I didn't think it was interesting though. He's actually in a show called Houston Knights with a swan from the Warriors. Okay. I think there was kind of a connection. So I bet both those guys are like, man, Walter Hill's the best. He gave us the perfect amazing opportunity.

Masterpiece films. And then we just didn't do anything with our careers. I think it's more like they worked on a Walter Hill movie and he much like Rick Moranis just psychologically destroyed them. They have no idea what they're doing anymore. They came in there full of confidence, the quarterbacks of their lives. And Mike Walter Hill was just, just put a boot on their neck. Am I nothing?

Did it turn out I'm nothing? Oh no. All right. Let's get back to the movie. So we've got our team. Everybody assembles. We've got McCoy. We've got Rick Moranis who's Billy Fish and Tom Cody.

God, these are the best names. These are definitely, look, this is all a Western movie, but these are definitely the names that Japanese dev team came up with to sound Western. It's real video game friendly. Like they all fit in five characters. Leave mcdichle. Is that from that baseball game? Yeah.

Yeah. Okay. Dugnut is the fucking best. So there's a cutscene where we move between levels. The next one is a bar in a factory. I think there was a music video in here somewhere too. Like sometimes the movie will just cut to a Diane Lane music video. I think that's later after she's like when she's sad.

I think she's still, she's still tied to something though. She can't perform just right now. I think I don't think it was a performance. I think it was like a flashback to like a concert or something. No, you think it was a bad guy is listening to the music in the factory. This is the factory that we go to. And there's a bar inside the factory because again, this is all just. You know, I haven't had my notes through time that there's the music video before he

even got the guns. So like we're jumping around a little, I guess in my notes. I don't even remember that one. I remember the bad guys who listened to fucking swing music and he's singing. Literally he's singing about all the studs in his neighborhood. I thought that was interesting because they wouldn't like McCoy. They dance around, but the performer at the bar. I'm like, this is very progressive in some way, shape or form.

I'm not sure how, but for an 80s movie to not like be like overly sexy or like, you know, like just typical TNA kind of stuff. And they're the individual performs like this is interesting for the time. I was like, I don't really. I'm not going to. I really shouldn't, you know, figure. I'm not going to guess. But she is a real boyish woman for sure.

Very, very. I was like, hmm. Yeah. Like I looked her up. She has like four IMDB roles and they're all dancers. So she must be like a classically trained dancer that they got. So. I think that was what she looks like.

Who? Danny Elfman. I guess a little bit sexy. Danny Elfman. He's Danny Elfman. There you go. Yeah. That's the name of our new band.

I don't know how much they were dance. Willem Dafoe comes out and we see him, you know, full on for the first time. His name is Raven Shattuck. And he is wearing black rubber overalls and nothing else. Yes. He's going to pick some cranberries out there. He's just a nude, all nude hillbilly at a bar full of studs and. Incredible wardrobe.

It's a beautiful design for a villain. It's great. What I love here is it reveals there's no fucking plan. He's like, got her tied to a bed and he's like, hey, you got to be my girlfriend for a couple of weeks. And she's like, what? Like there's, they don't have like, like a plan to ransom her or to like have her record a video for them or something.

It's just like, we took you because we liked you. And no second thing. And he's not going to be canceled. He's not going to be me too because he's, he's giving consent or he's like waiting for it, which is a very. Right. Yeah. He will release you if you be my girlfriend for two weeks and it's heavily implied there

will be some sex stuff, but it's like not spelled out. I think I would cancel him for that. I would think I think I don't think that's possible. I think he was trying to have, I'm not saying he handled it right, Robert. I'm just saying he was trying not to, you know, I do think tying someone to a bed and saying, we are not going to release you unless you have sex with me. I think there is some coercion in there. Yes.

Absolutely. For sure. Yeah, absolutely. I mean, the theme to this movie is we don't have a plan because the good guys have come to rescue them are fighting crew here and they don't have anything like a plan. He says, I've got a plan and then he proceeds to not say anything else. He does not, he does not have a plan. He's going to go on the roof.

That's his part of the plan and they're going to go in the front. That's their part of the plan. And just big shrug after that. And sure enough, it works out like that because she goes in there. It has no idea what she's doing or what she's looking for. She does. McCoy. I love this plan.

Yes. They're also directed. Rick Moran. Go get the car. You, lady, go figure it out. If you fuck up, I don't care. I don't need either one of you. Well, they're also like kind of like tipped off to where the bad guys are by Magic Hobo

and Bagley. Yes. Because it took me like a minute. I was like, it took me a while to actually confirm that was Ed Bagley Jr. But I was like, this is just an odd little pop up guy, I guess. And all he says is you've got to keep moving forward. That's the whole point of things. And then he disappears.

Very fighting game. Like he's like, he's like the arrow that says go. He is. He tells them that says go. That's a great way to put that. He like emerges from the shadows covered in axle grease and he's like, hey, are you looking for that lady? And they're like, actually, yeah.

And they're like, oh, she's in torches. And they're like, yeah, yeah, we know, but he's just like reassuring them that like you're on the right track. And I love it because he calls Rick Moranis a shithead. And Rick man is like, don't call me a shithead. And then they give him some money for the information. And they're like, I can't believe I paid him. I already knew they were at torches.

I am a shithead. You've made me realize is that he's a shithead. That's the end of that interaction, which served no purpose. And McCoy is also serving no purpose, just wandering around this bar until she gets sexually harassed, which I guess was the plan. And she seduces the man into taking her to a back room where she knocks him out. And for no reason. And you think it's like to get a key to get information.

No, she just wanted to knock him out in a back room. And again, you say that they didn't rewrite the part. This would have been a real weird part if McCoy was an overweight middle aged man. I looked it up. They didn't rewrite a single thing. So like it was just like, like a fresh face dude who's like, hey, I'm welcome. Old overweight man wanders in here and seduces one of the members. And has to explain to the audience repeatedly why he's not fucking Tom Cody.

Look, I know. I know. All right. We should be nailing each other. Look at us. It's perfectly natural. But I'm sorry. I don't swing like that.

We say old, but the weird thing about this movie is no one is over like 25 years old in the whole movie. Right. That's the choice that includes the comms. Yeah, like it's super weird because this is the this is a teenage world. This is just a young person's world that he wanted tonight is what it's like to be young guys. I mean, exactly.

They spell it right out and amazing song. Warriors was like that too. I guess like it's just a whole world of children. Walter Hill really just was doing Lord of the Flies in every movie. Every movie should be this. This is an amazing premise for a movie. So Lord of the Flies meets double dragon. So McCoy, having done all these things for no reason, stumbles across Raven and holds

him at gunpoint for with no plan. Ellen is not here in the room. She doesn't ask for anything. She just holds them at gunpoint and we all stand there a little bit confused until Tom Cody up on the roof shoots a motorcycle with one shot and it explodes. And then he shoots three more motorcycles with one shot apiece. Each explodes. Yes.

So perfect. I love it. He's just one by one murdering all these gang members, which I think like he just went to the roof and started killing them with a gun. And I think it's crazy. No one else thought of this. Like all the other gangs, like none of them thought, hey, we should get on the roof and kill them with guns.

If you shoot a motorcycle, it explodes. I don't know what we're doing. Not shooting all of these motorcycles. It's so easy. Scene rules. It rules so hard. It's a great scene. They get Ellen back despite having no plan because the bad guys also had no plan.

Everybody knows what they're doing because as we've established, they're all 19. They're just like, fuck, I don't know. I don't know what I did. Did you see the filmmaking when Tom Cody comes in to like cut Diane Lane out of her restraints? He pulls out the knife. It's like jump cut, jump cut, and they're out. It's just like, he's not like, hey, it's me. Oh, wow, it's you.

What are you doing here? I came here to rescue you. It's just fucking like none of it. Not a word. In between. Yeah. It's just the brief cut scene in between levels. I think a lot of his films have that kind of organic feel.

It makes it feel like it's closer. Of course, it's not reality, but it's a little closer to it. Let's try to take you on the movie by giving a speech right there. Yeah, but I still think if your ex-boyfriend came running into the room while you're tied to a bed after you heard 15 explosions and he's holding a knife, you'd like, oh, hi, Tom. Wow. Are you here to rescue me? Well, that's nothing. Well, nowadays, there was like weediness dialogue.

He'd be like, oh, they paid me $10,000. He's like, oh, I'm only worth $10,000. And then there'd be like a whole like joke fest. Oh my God, you're right. This would be fucking insufferable if just. Or she just knows it's Tom Cody. Like she heard 15 rapid explosions and it's like, oh, okay. That's the best interpretation.

That's the way to read this art. That's how Tom speaks. That was his language. That was his love language was 15 rapid motorcycle explosion. The first few explosions, she was like, I don't know if that's him. Oh, it's Tom. Oh, I know. I know.

This is this is how Tom says, I love you. I know that series of explosions anyway. So she's like watching the end of Caddy Shack. She's like, is Tom here? Oh, wait, no. Nope. That's Kenny Loggins. God damn it.

There's another, there's another great moment here to cap the scene where he, Tom tells them, get in that car and take off. And so they do. And they're like, what are you going to do? And he's like, I'm just going to do some brawling. He just, he just turns around and just, he keeps brawling. Like they take off in the car. He's not, nobody knows it's them.

Nobody's chase. Nobody gives chase or tries to. He just like, it's turns around and shoots another guy and like, knock some other fuckers out and blows up some shit. It's just, you know what this is? He knows a boss fights coming up. He's going to grind out a couple of levels. That's, he found it.

He found a really easy, easy cheat code. Like these guys explode in one shot. I don't think the film has a lip sequence. So it had to have this instead. Exactly. Or circus as we discussed before. There's a couple, what I love is Rick Moranis actually did his part. He comes with the car and picks him up.

And for a couple of seconds he was Ghostbusters Moranis. Like he's like, boy, I'm glad to see you guys. There's a bear in my apartment. You'll perish in flames. Like he's talking like that. I loved it. And then he puts his hard ass Rick Moranis on. Yeah.

Which I, man, I didn't think I could like a Rick Moranis more than default Rick Moranis, but I like hard ass Rick Moranis a little bit more. I like tough guy Rick. I also like that these guys, their bar had like this fucking like oil rig outside. So Tom like loosens the thing and gets gasoline on everything, shoots it with a gun, explodes the whole thing. And what's fucking great about this is the whole bars on fire

and Willem Dafoe walks out of the flames. Like just like images from the just completely fireproof. That's what the overalls were for. Yes. Flameproof overalls. And he says, looks like I finally ran into someone who likes to play as rough as I do. And powerfully erotic.

Yes. And so Tom's like, well, dude, I could just shoot you. I'm the guy holding a gun. And Willem Dafoe at gunpoint says, I can get guns smart guy. Lots of them. Like he just has no, he knows I'm not going to get shot here in the movie. So they like schedule a showdown for later. He's like, Hey, you could shoot me now, but wouldn't it be better if we like

met during the blood moon for the fate of the world? Fuck. Yes. Willem Dafoe and leaves. It's perfect. Video game logic. It makes it, it makes it very satisfying too. Cause like this part, like normally it'd be about, you know, like, you know,

going back to like, I don't know, the searchers or something, you know, the whole movie's about trying to find Natalie Wood. And then eventually they do. That's the end of the movie. Here he's already got Natalie Wood halfway through. Yep. And then it's like the second half is about the, them coming to him. So it works perfectly.

Right. The fifth guy that he shot, like there's no reason to leave him alive except to set up a super showdown later. Yeah. Yeah. We're trained to think this is the end of the movie. Here's the bad guy. Here's the showdown.

And then they're like, no, no. What we're going to do is just some sweet shit for another hour. We're an hour in the movie. You got it. You got an hour left. We're just going to do, we haven't even been to the neon pimp level yet, which is when they just, they ditch their car for no reason. Nobody's, nobody knows they have it.

The cops aren't tracking them, but Tom says, right, we got to ditch this car. And then they get in the lift to do the lift sequence, Rusty, to the neon pimp level. Oh, that's true. And they really like that. At this point, Rick Moranis has learned that this is her ex, which is just the worst case scenario for your girlfriend's ex.

Like Tom Cody is just this sexual dynamo that kills men all day long. And Rick Moranis is like trying to like, Hey, I'm the fucking coolest. I have the money. And then McCoy like laughs and the line is, Oh yeah, I guess the big tough, good looking guy like you, Cody, don't stand a chance and just like throwing gas on this insecurity fire. I loved it. And there's, there's like this unspoken thing in this dynamic,

usually in movies where you have this mute, terrifying barbarian. And then this, this other guy who's, you know, maybe a little bit insecure and weaker. And the woman is like, no, no, because, because I'm in love with you, not him and you don't, you can't let your insecurity take you. But Diane Lane, Ellen Aime fucking loves it. Like every time he blows shit up, she's just like, yes. God damn.

He's just like pauses to tell him, you go on ahead. I'm going to do some brawl. And she's just like, oh, fuck you, Rick Moranis. Loosening her barrage. Just holding him by the neck going, he shit, Rick Moranis. Look at that man. And they cut to a music video in my notes. Yeah.

Here's the sad music video. Yeah. This is the one I think Stevie Nicks wrote. Cause I was looking at the credits of it. It's like, cause there's a point in a song where like, she's, you know, she's talking about how she's tired and sad, but then she says sorcerer, who is the master? And that stopped the money in my tracks.

That's some Stevie Nicks shit. Well, I got to see who wrote this. I was like, whoa, whoa, whoa, hold on. Cause I was discussing before, before we started recording the show, I was like, it feels like a lot of songs were written during a Dungeons and Dragons session. And then they realized they had to write a pop song. Right.

Every Jim Steinman song is a Dungeons and Dragons section session where you're trying to bang every player. That's just how we write songs. So the neon pimp level is a massive colorful neighborhood, just standing room only the entire neighborhood with sex workers, just 400 colorful sex workers jammed into a single city block. It's never explained like there's a parade or something. They just are, they can't even move for the density of prostitutes on

this block. Of course they accidentally. Costumes and the extras. It must have cost more than the tarp to get all these people in all these costumes. Can you imagine if it didn't? If all of these people are like looking up at the tarp being like 1.2 million dollars, how much you didn't pay?

You're getting paid? I just, I just get to be, of course they accidentally recruit a prostitute. I don't know how you would come out of this scenario without one. No way. She adds nothing to the party and never pretends to. And I love her. Isn't her name like Baby Doll?

Something like that. She never like has a value add. She's just like, hey, I'm coming. All right. Fuck. I guess. Better coming handy. They have a spare prostitute here.

They then hijack a bus full of the Sorrells, which is a Supreme's like band, and they add them to the party. So now our party consists. This is Rick Moranis. Tom Cote, a maniac barbarian. Ellen Aime, the rock god of McCoy, the lesbian soldier, a prostitute we've just picked up and an entire doo wop band. I love it.

And they stop to sing. They do like an educational romantic doo wop song. And they're all, even Rick Moranis has moved by it. It's just beautiful. It's Robert Townsend. And what's his name? Michael from bubble. Yeah.

Yeah. From Forest Gump. Yeah. This is like when like the, like the character actor like cameo part just goes off the hinge because he got EG daily. Of course, from, she was a PB's big adventure. She's also like Tommy Pickles on Rugrats and all that. Then you've got these two.

Then when the cops come on one of them, we were trying to discuss them before the guy from they live. Yeah. Peter Scott. I think his name. Just amazing. Every, every face you see in this movie, and there's thousands of them is like, they all went on to have huge careers.

Except for the lead. Except for the lead guy. Except for the lead guy. Who went on to be the main character in one of these movies. Who went on to be in the sequel to this movie. Which is the worst thing I've ever seen. He even came back to the point of his destruction and humiliation to make a terrible movie.

Anyway. It was set in dinosaur space. It was not a great choice. So they've, they've stolen this entire doo-wop band and their bus. They're trying to drive their bus back to their home neighborhood, which is crazy because they had a car just a minute ago and left it. But now apparently the bus is great until it's not until they run into a roadblock by the cops almost immediately.

And one of my favorite scenes here is Billy Fish. Rick Moranis says, this is my specialty. The talking. Let me talk us out of it. And he gets up there and he tries to buy off the cops. And then they take his money and say, you know, I fuck you. So he immediately fails in front of his girlfriend with Tom Cody watching. After calling his shot, it's just the most you can see a man devastated

outside of just being blown in half. Like this is, this is the talking equivalent of getting blown in half. It bothers him more than his girl being stolen. Like in front of him. Yeah. He's humiliated. He gets some back because his girlfriend does actually say literally, I hate you Tom Cody for taking money to save me.

And that's got like Rick Moranis is like, OK, she's on my side again. Because the whole time Rick Moranis is trying to like, that's the wedge he's trying to drive between them. He's like, oh, he's your ex boyfriend because he took money to save you. He's like only here for the money. And it was tough to like make that work. Like I could tell the movie really wanted me to think like he's a terrible person for that.

But I'm also like, well, I mean, if he's a mercenary and she's his ex, it seems kind of reasonable. Right. Had to buy a lot of guns and pay this this lesbian soldier. You got to have one. I agree. It's also hard to get. It's hard to get a handle on the rules in this universe.

It's such a weird world. So like once they dedicated a couple lines from like, OK, this is reprehensible. What he's doing. Apparently. Apparently this is the line. So I think Billy Fish and McCoy have more chemistry than Billy and Eileen. Because like every other every interaction they have,

it's just noir quipping back and forth. And it's it's excellent. But it's also kind of like these two should get a room. I don't I think that I don't think if you had died, I don't think Diane Lane knew she was in a movie with Rick Moran as the entire time. They're so distant from the entire time. I don't think she makes eye contact with him now. I think she's just maybe it's Walter Hill Direction or maybe it's just natural Tom

Cody this, but she's just staring at Tom Cody the entire. She's looking for a guy with ping pong balls on it in like a jumpsuit. They're going to CG Billy Fish and later like the Hulk. No, no, he was there in person. He was there. They touched lips. That's I think that's the best way to describe their onscreen kiss. Yeah.

This was you probably have this in your notes, Brockway, but they offered this role to Tom Cruz and he had a scheduling conflict, probably Top Gun, which was a great choice. But Patrick Swayze and Eric Roberts were the other Tom Cody possibilities. And all would have been better. It's true. I don't think he did a bad job, but somebody with personality, with like an actual personality could have really taken this to the next level.

Because he's just, he's Tom Cody and nothing but like, I'm here to fucking say these lines and blow this shit up. Speaking of, you'll never believe me if you haven't seen this movie, but they just get off the bus Tom and McCoy and have a bonus level to see who can explode more cop cars with a single shot. They just stand out there like for no reason, like let's blow up some cop cars and just one shot every single one. And then they dump the bus to for no reason.

Again, no specified reason. They just, it's, it's become too easy. It's like they're struggling against the movie making this easy for them. I like, we're just blowing cop cars up. We just blew up an entire roadblock. I'm like, there's no challenge to this. We have 45 minutes left. Let's dump the bus.

There's a scene I really like with the cops because after Tom Cody's girlfriend tells him off and leaves, the cops like, she fucking hates you, dude. And he goes, you catch on real quick. And then the cops response to that is, and I get the job done. But he, he literally hasn't done anything the whole movie and never does. It is fantastic. I think it's such a weird. I think he's being sarcastic about himself.

Yeah, it might be. But then speaking of the cops, the next thing that happens is Willem Dafoe is like talking to the cops and he's like, okay, here's the plan. I'll come into town with just two of my guys. You guys leave us alone so I can face Tom Cody in mortal combat in the streets. And it'll be fucking sweet. Yeah. And I, the cops are like a shit.

I guess we have to do it because you're like super tough. He convinces them that it would be totally rad. And they're like, God damn it. He's right. I mean, there's going to be a huge loss of life. And this is against everything we believe in, but it's going to be really cool. But here's the thing, the cops even fuck that up because the cop goes straight to Tom Cody and he's like Raven says he has to face you alone.

So get out of town so they don't, so you and he don't destroy the entire town with your mortal combat. And so that's like how this movie works. That's the rules of this universe. Tom like wins his girlfriend back because he goes to Rick Moranis. He's like, fuck you. Fuck your money. Fuck your attitude and throws the money in his face.

He takes the $1,000 that he owes to McCoy, but throws the other nine back just to let Diane Lane know I did this for you officially. It seems like because he grabs it at first, he takes it and he's like heading for the door and then she says something to him about it. She says, like, I hate you for doing this. And then he threw it. So he's just impulsively like, fuck you. You know, he's just as soon as he's at that door, he's like, God damn it.

Oh, I never think anything. Come on, Tom. So they go in the rain and they kiss and they have 50s guitar. They cut to the some very wet sex. It's I think they're still wet from the rain. Maybe it's sweat. I don't know. I bet Tom Cody just goes for hours.

So this is probably like seven days later. There's no explanation for where we went for two years. Like we started to get their history here. She's like, you left me for two years and never said why you never wrote me a letter. I have no idea what the rules are in this universe or the backstory. These characters. But they're finally, they're finally together. They finally made it.

So of course it's time for Tom to break up with her for an unspecified reason. Literally it's after the sex scene. He's like, oh, this isn't going to work. Well, I was back up for just a second. I was going to say to you, I think like if once he did leave when he's after he gave Rick Morgan asked the money back, he was thinking like how close he would have been to buying a tarp. I got a tarp money.

I just threw away. I was so close to get that tarp. I could have tarped this whole town. God damn it. Built myself a bird army. So he puts the women on a train. He gets McCoy and Diane Lane. He puts them on a train and then he ditches them.

He gets off the train. Yeah. Not before punching Ellen full in the face, which I would argue was unnecessary. I had already kind of broken up with her in a way that she understood. And then it's like, all right, well, you're on the train. Time to punch you full in the fucking face. So earlier when I was saying Willem Dafoe, you know, I was kind of on the fence about that.

I wasn't trying to excuse Willem Dafoe's actions. I just want to make sure 100% clear it was not right that Tom Cody punched a woman. I just want to say that. Yeah. The good guy in your movie should not punch a girl. I just want to clarify that. Right.

But he has to get back because he knows this fucking sweet ass fight is waiting for him. Yes. Raven shows up the next morning with two mini bosses by his side. And then blows an air horn to summon all 800 of his gang. And the cops are like, they try to stop him. As far as the eye can see, the cops are stunned. They're like, wait a minute.

You didn't come alone. They were not prepared for a criminal to lie to them in any way, shape or form. God, they're the worst. The kind of like, you know, like henchmen he has is actually leaving from fear. The punk rock band. Oh, okay. I was like, that's kind of a neat little guy. He's also, I think he's Mr. Body and Clue as well, too.

So again, too, I wrote every little cameo I saw. Yeah. Yeah, they're everywhere. They were so many. His name is Lee Ving. Lee, V-I-N-G. Yeah, I'm sure it's like. Yeah, it's a punk rock.

Yeah. Yeah. Again, I professionally received W9's as a rusty shackle. So I'm not going to question anybody's names. That's not your real name. Yes. I feel like there's a showdown between like 9000 bikers and five cops. And then Rick Moranis is like, I got this.

I'm the fucking talker. He runs the center. He's like, you get out of here. Rick. And he just fucking punched out. He might be dead. Yeah. He's murdered right there.

The way he fought. He threw the back of his head. So funny. What I love about that is that Bill Paxton is the one to catch him instantly as though he knows like, oh, I can recognize this when outside of myself. He's about to get the fuck out with one punch. I'm here for you, buddy.

Catches him instantly and just whisks him away in this like practice movement. Like he's, he's on, he's on whisking away dead Rick Moranis duty. Anyway, Tom shows up. Yeah. And he's just like, well, my plan went to shit. And it comes like, yeah, yeah, we don't got this. That's really what he says. It's really, he says, my plan went to shit.

My plan to stand here with two cops and try to arrest this guy was it. I wrote down the quote from the cop. He says, my plan went to shit. Let's see how you do. Kick his ass. That's word for word with the cops. Everything that follows is the best thing that could possibly happen because the entire neighborhood gets guns and runs up and then you're like, but this is going

to be a war. They see what's going on and, and they just immediately stop and they're like, oh, okay, is this a fight? And then Raven and his boys bring out sledgehammers. It's a fucking sledgehammer duel. And instantly all pretense of this being an inter neighborhood wars dropped because everybody just wants to watch this. They ran up ready to fight.

And then as soon as the sledgehammers came out, everybody puts the guns on their shoulder and is like, oh, well, hell yeah. It was one of those choice. Like he, it was like, he was like, he's a sledgehammer specialist, I believe. Yeah. Yeah. And this, this is a boss from combat tribes, which is one of my favorite games of all time.

Yeah. I would argue, I would argue this is a boss from combat tribes right here in this movie. This is probably what it said in the script. Yep. This is the boss combat tribes. This will all make sense in a few years. It's so good. I love it because they're, it's kind of like their sledgehammers, but they kind of come

to a pickaxe point on one end. Other road ones or something. Maybe I was like, I think the railroad hammers. Yeah. And so when they're having their fight, like the cop wasn't crazy. Like every time they missed, they're like taking a chunk out of the city and like they're destroying cars. And it all comes down to a test of strength at the end.

And Willem Dafoe loses. And it's like, oh, it's over. But no. Willem Dafoe's like fist. And so now it's like a they live fight. It's crazy. Like they're just landing shot after shot on each other. Willem should be dead several times over.

And he's still standing after just. Also, it should be noted all of this takes place in a loose pile of motorcycles. Like all of his, every single one of his gang members left their motorcycles there. So this fist fight is massive sprawling fist fight is just all the way over about 15 motorcycles. And they're just flying all over the place, sprawling through motorcycles. They're like obstacles. They're like things to throw people through in a fighting game level. Like you do extra damage if you throw them through a biker.

Of course, Raven eventually gets exhausted and Tom Cody just pushes him over. That's how you win a fight in this movie. You know, it's not going to be bashing his head in with a sledgehammer. It'll be the old pushover. Well, in the original script, he stabbed him to death with a knife. That gets a little real. Yeah, that's real. That gets a little intense.

Like I, that doesn't feel like a Tom Cody movie. This guy's exhausted. Well, let's get to seven. Ain't going to stab himself. Am I right? Bikers, the Joe Pesci guy leaving. He's like, let's get out of here. And they just take him.

There's no arrests. The cops aren't like, hey, no, leave that one. We're going to arrest him. They're like, no, we're, we're all going home cops. Because the whole premise of this, that they lured him here to arrest him. But then as soon as he got his ass kicked, they're like, well, that was a fucking sweet hammer fight. You got to, the law says if you do a sweet hammer fight, you get to go home.

I'm not trying to like improve on a masterpiece. I'm not trying to like, you know, add a little bit of color to a Van Gogh. But I do think it would have been fantastic if Willem Dafoe had started flashing red towards you. I agree. Just to sell the entire thing. Just to let us know he's getting near to death. This took a month to shoot.

I looked it up because it's such a huge scene with so many extras. And there's, because there's a million camera cuts. Like you, and they live, I guess it was more of a pro wrestling fight where they, there was a lot of long shots in that fight, whereas this is just like punch and that's its own shot. And then uppercut, it's its own shot. Throw through a motorcycle, its own shot. So there were so many camera setups that this did take four weeks to finish.

Can you imagine going up every day and being like, well, it's your job to swing this fucking sledgehammer for 12 hours today. Good lord. Well, I was in a chain gang for seven years. So I do actually, thanks for bringing back those memories. What are you going to fucking say to Walter Hill? You're not going to say shit. Yes, sir.

Mr. Loan Wolf. Sorry, Mr. Loan Wolf. Look at the back of the chair. If you swung a sledgehammer at him, he would just instantly block it. He was in there showing them like, well, here's how we used to sledgehammer fight when I was a kid. I don't know. You kids probably have your own moves now, but these are the old classics.

So it's the end of the movie. We've defeated, I guess, defeated the bad guy. He's not going to come back for some reason. He's been beaten in hammer fight, the traditional honorable way to beat a villain. And the big concert Ellen is performing. Tom Cody's watching Rick Moranis sidles up to him and it's just like, ah, I know how it is with you and my girlfriend. What am I going to do?

I'm Rick Moranis over here and Cody is still just like, no, I'm leaving. I don't want this anymore. Rick, he can't talk someone and taking his girlfriend. He tried. He gave it his best shot. And what Tom Cody says is she's used to me being unreliable. You're okay with words. You'll make her feel better about me than I could.

And just wanders away. So now it's up to Rick Moranis to break up with his own girlfriend on behalf of Tom Cody. And then I assume accept her back, which is the most cuckolded thing you can do. This is a hashtag on some site somewhere. Yeah. This is so embarrassing. There's has a huge boner right now. It's just the most domination you can inflict on a man shaped like Rick Moranis.

Cody wanders off for no specified reason, just like he does every and anything, but he still runs into Ellen and she's like trying to convince him and he just goes, you know me. She goes, yeah, I know you're the guy with the right hook, which is just you're admitting you're my punch idiot. I know you don't know nothing about the punch and I cannot compete with the punch. Well, she couldn't compete with the punch earlier when he knocked her out. So yeah.

He did sort of explain it well that he's like, look, you're going to be a big superstar singer and I am like a gang warrior. I'm not like a fucking sidekick. I'm not going to carry your bags and be your bodyguard like I need to fucking run. I am a loose barbarian hammers and I need to wander from town to town destroying things. We have to die before Kevin Federline, like whoever that one. Because he's a gang war karate man. The gang war karate man, Kevin Federline.

Before him. Like, you know, wait, no, Rusty's right. This is how Kevin Federline pictured himself. That's true. I guess I can settle down with you, Brittany. I guess I'd have to give up all this. All that I've got by my own two hands here. And what's crazy is Kevin Federline had Rick Moranis break up with Britney Spears for him.

Learned it from that fetish site. Yeah. And then of course we end on the best song that's ever been recorded. I love it. It just gets passed. I can dream about you. Yeah. The Sorrell's sing.

Oh, we did dream about you, which was like the breakout hit of the soundtrack. I think the only hit of the soundtrack, which is insane that it had tonight is what it means to be young and I can dream about you. I feel like if it was 1979 tonight, it's what it means to be young. We've just fucking crushed it. It is weird. Because before I saw the movie, I always thought I can dream about you was a hollow note song. It was just written for them, but somebody else entirely did.

Oh, OK. That makes sense. The person who wrote it like it was a whole tiff where like he wrote the song and he was upset that they put it in the soundtrack or in the movie with somebody else singing it. So then he used them like footage of them as the backup band in his own video where he was singing. I was like, OK, this is like getting ready. This is like Ultimate Warrior Petty.

Like something's going on here. Yeah. Ultimate Warrior Petty. I don't bring wrestling into it, but yeah, he just got these weird little grudges. Oh, I got you. But yeah, tonight is what it means to be young. I've probably mentioned this before on this very show is a very good song. It's like if Bonnie Tyler Meatloaf got put into a weird science computer and they made

a girl and that's who Diane Lane embodies. And it's perfect song. But last time we played it, it did break the whole podcast. Everybody OK? We're still here. We're all still here. Awesome. We're all still here.

Physically, I'm still here. Mentally, I'm on Saturn and I'm pumping my fists in front of an exploding spaceship. 1-9-100, Frankfurt! Our podcast is coming out! And with Maximalim, ciao! The Frankfurt podcast? Correct. Correct.

Yeah! The craft is not trapped. It's not without. Send it to the dog. Four hours. Come on, Sean. You can do it. 1-9-100!

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