The Dogg Zzone by 1900HOTDOG - Dogg Zzone 9000 - Episode 105, The Power Team Album With Todd In The Shadows

Episode Date: January 11, 2023

Seanbaby needs his brothers in power, Brockway and Todd in the Shadows, to believe in Christ extra hard so he'll have the strength to smash through the Power Team Rock Album! Christian strongmen recording a rock album together, it's gotta be good!

1-900-HOTDOG 1-900-HOTDOG Our podcast slams with maximum hype Say hotdog podcast work Yeah When you taste that nitrate power You're in the dog zone for an hour Come on

You know the number 1-900-HOTDOG 1-0-0-0 1-900-HOTDOG 1-900-HOTDOG 1-0-0-0 Yeah, 9000 Welcome to the dog zone 9000

The official zone of 1-900-HOTDOG.com We are supported by listeners like you on our Patreon So go there and do it It's patreon.com slash 1-900-HOTDOG I'm Sean Baby from the internet Very beloved And I'm joined by number 13 of Topless Magazine's Hot Bottomless Bobby's

Robert Brockway Here's a Brockway fact I once corrupted an at-risk youth With my sweet guitar solo No follow-up questions Okay, I guess I didn't have any Today we're joined by long-time web tubist Creator of the YouTube series Train Records

And one hit Wonderland Both of which are great He's the mysterious figure Known only as Todd in the Shadows Hi, I'm so glad to be here I'm a long-time fan What am I doing here, though? Well...

Good fucking question That is a very good question Sorry, not for the powerful questions I like your videos I've been watching them for a while For listeners who don't know 1-Hit Wonderland is a really well-produced look 1-Hit Wonders with smart analysis

Of what went wrong I guess very specific kind of right I also like Train Records Which is like a sophisticated roast Of high-profile failures But here's why you're here You did a video recently Which I really loved

Because you usually focus on the music But then you did one where you're like Fuck it, we are counting down the best 90s buses, fuck you And I felt like this is a man Who really appreciates The joy we feel every day at our website Where our whole editorial process is

Fuck it, hell yeah, suck my whole fucking dick And so, I guess that's specifically why you're here But yeah, I'm a fan of your work And we are also talking about music today Which is a narrative expertise And of course, Brockway lifts 7,000 pounds We're talking about the power team again Hard quotes music

Hard quotes The power team soundtrack This is the power team, the soundtrack, the podcast Yeah, you didn't give me a whole lot of prep for this So I was kind of on my own Yeah, no, I just gave you the album And I figured you'd be fine Did you do a lot of research

Or did you just listen to the album? I did a bit of research Oh The second I saw this It looked vaguely familiar But I can't tell if that's because I'm familiar with this at all Or if it's just because many things

In 1990 marketed to little boys Looked like this Yeah, it just sort of looks like it should have been Whether or not it actually was If someone made it yesterday And handed it to me, I'd be like, yeah, I absolutely remember this Yeah, the cover looks like Just a Nintendo advertisement

For a really bad Nintendo game That you are going to buy anyway And be deeply disappointed by I don't know They look like American gladiators But they're all holding swords Like 1D8 long swords Like these aren't like God swords

Or something They went to some Dungeons & Dragons And they're like, let's pick up These swords and pose The humble long swords of Christ Of course I mean, that was kind of a shock When I have this little icon

On Spotify that I was looking at And I was like, let's see what we can find And when I saw the actual blown up photo Wait a minute, those are swords American gladiators are holding swords We're all dudes There's a very Specific kind of buffness

They have that is like Specifically of 1990 I don't know what it is, but buff dudes Don't look like this anymore Yeah, I don't know if it's because they're not on steroids Or their nutritionists Weren't as good I think maybe they just had different steroids

Yeah, I think it was a different steroids But theoretically They should look different because They're going for power and bulk Not definition They have no need to look hot Because they do not fuck You need to tear phone books in half

They aggressively don't fuck Demand Demand you do not fuck They're And if you do They have those swords for a reason To fight off the women I'm not sure what you mean

Oh, of course, never mind No, that was it Or is that like how they court each other Like, sir, we are about to fuck Very well, I'll get my fucking sword I just imagine that That's how they keep you Five feet apart

From your intended target You see a lady and it's like No, sword in your way That does make sense Instead of leave room for Jesus That's leave room for my broad sword Yes I love finding new details about things

It sucks sometimes For example, once I was making fun of a Juggling video and never Thought to Google the star of it and it turns out He was an international sex criminal We talked about him on the show before But this episode is one of the good ones Because while we are researching the power team

These Christian strongmen We're talking about not the knockoff Video game crime fighters On the soundtrack album And you know what I forgot to check if any of the power team Did sex crimes Please, let's not Google them

Because I just now remembered the time They came to my middle school and disagreed About how hot some of the 12 year old Classmates were So I talked about that on the show too So they probably have some sex crimes In the past, let's not Google that But we'll talk about their rock and roll

This was John Jacobson Music from the ultimate demonstration And we're coming in hot with track number one So good Okay, that's the perfect song to tear a phone book in half to Just the perfect song For a fucking N64 third party

Game It's the Baywatch theme, right? Like that's the Baywatch theme Like a little tougher If this came on during the credits of an above average 80s action movie, I would say everything here is perfectly normal I have no notes Great job

I loved it, it was great This introduces the theme that I love about this album Which is that it's not It's not necessarily about Christ It's about the power Christ gives you To beat the devil's fucking ass Yeah That's a really good way to describe this whole album

There's also like What if I'm not A power team Like what if I'm a scrawny 90 pound weakling Like I am Thank God you asked Let me tell you a little something about Jesus Christ Our Lord and Savior

You inject him in your butt And then you pound the weights 45 minutes Take one hour break I do like how It's sort of subservient to God In a way like it's about like the power of him But it's also like he's my master I feel the touch of my master's hand

I think he says I tremble at the touch of my master But then like immediately after He's like we're gonna go to hell And kick these demons ass Like fucking Doesn't this kick ass or not? I can't tell It's got like a real yearning

I don't think you can fake this Like this is a song you can't perform if you fuck So that's another thing I like about it Is that like it's so unique To this person And this genre The song is called Power It's by a guy named Tim Miner

Who is a Christian musician Who seems like he's competent enough That he got some secular work He did songs with Paula Abdul And Justin Bieber and Al Green So very eclectic people he's worked with Unfortunately he also put out an album called Not White Enough And it has a song about exactly that

The chorus is people telling him He's not black enough, hard enough White enough or good enough And it seems like Mr. Miner A Christian mixed race person to sing And just an unspeakable thing For any other person alive to sing

So I don't know Who was telling you you weren't white enough sir? What person said those words? That's probably something he heard with the power team That's probably Yeah that is true We got some notes back From the kids at school

No I mean no offense when I say this But your performance We're gonna need it 40% whiter Just to match The rest of the performances on this album It sounds like someone's typing Are you looking up Not White Enough? I was I'm looking at it

And I would not This man passes let's say I googled around to see This is crazy I was googling around To see what race he was Is he black enough to even sing this And I think he might be He has some credits that imply

He's a part of a black community So I guess he has some rhetorical Authority to sing about race But it's still Comfortable Man this guy had a Truly unfortunate Look in the 80s

That is what Google is telling me Yeah if I remember He had a stringy Brett Michaels Mullet at one time I can't tell What kind of mullet this is It looks more like Like Lisa Lisa or Paula Abdul

Like it's really Really heavily permed Yeah But Not White Enough The note you have is Not White Enough And there he is with Steve Perry That's what Google is telling me He did some work with Steve Perry in the 90s

Which is not the best time to be working with Steve Perry Not White Enough All makes sense now Tough song That's one where Part of the thing about Christian music Is it's hard to imagine singing along

With someone to it And singing not white enough Like more than four people is like A full on hate crime Yeah that's something Only a very Very specific demographic Can relate to

So I'm not sure who Who's gonna jam to that Just like I said Christian mixed race people And please god no one else Yes There are dozens of us There are dozens of us

Track 2 is By a band called Liaison And it's called My God is a Rock Is there anyone Inviting Is there anybody To believe Even if there isn't

There's more than you know My God is a rock My God is a rock My God is a rock There's so much stronger His ways and his dreams The water bottle is So pumped

Now it's a queen song We lost the rhythm Sorry about that That happens in every song They get almost to the end of a chorus And they're like we need more room for Jesus So this is A Christian band Liaison

Great name by the way Formed by North Dakotans Larry And Timmy Melby And you know if your name is Larry Melby Your only chance at cool is Christian Cool So Poor Larry Melby I don't think this was written for the power team

I think this is just a song they liked To snap baseball bats to and they put it on their album Or is I think the last one The power song was just for The power team I think they either commissioned it or I couldn't find it on another album anyway One of I want to say six things about power

Six songs about power On this album And you can tell they commissioned it because it has the word power in it Maybe something about power Guys as long as we're talking Do you have any songs about Blowing up hot water bottles? Not specifically? Okay, okay

How about breaking down the walls of sin We'll take it My one note for my god as a rock Is that they really need to shout Rock every time they say rock Like right afterwards, Def Leppard style Or Twisted Sister Be Snyder, yeah, I'd love that

My one note is that it sounds like You're running along a beach And a training montage But kind of sarcastic Right! Like a Team America kind of thing Yeah, it's just It's a little too much

And recording a montage song And then this is the band behind you Making fun of you I think it I was trying to make this point earlier It really demonstrates the problem I think most people have with Christian music Is that even when it's rad it's still very lame Like the song is kind of sweet

But when I try to picture the moment That I'd have to share with literally anyone else Rocking out to it, it just all falls apart Which is Like if there's two cool Christians Imagine a cool Christian And then they got together and sang it with each other They're not cool anymore

And they would both instantly understand it It's like Star Wars, kid You feel fucking awesome when you're by yourself But the second someone sees you doing what you're doing The illusion shattered Completely in reality Yeah, liaison is Another artist

You don't want to look up on Google What'd you find? Just the most glorious Horsehair mullets you will ever see Oh, I do want to look them up Okay I thought we were in like international sex past Juggler territory

Oh, no, no, no, they're fine with that That's what I heard It just reinforces your point That this will instantly Be less cool the second you have Some visuals for it Yeah, like you clock him as a Christian band instantly He has a mullet but it's like

Just like five years after his hairline started going back So it's hanging in there but like Just a real Poor choice For a hairline Yeah, it's like legacy mullet It almost looks like a mohawk Except it's not a mohawk

That's just the way his hairline is receding Yeah There's a lyric in this song That I've been puzzling over A lot of lyrics for anything in this album But more than anything Is there anyone to confide in Is there anyone to believe in

Even if there isn't There's one thing I know My god is a rock, he's where I go Why do we introduce even if there isn't Yeah, why drop the doubt in the middle of the song But the song has a crisis of fate Quickly just fix it Maybe there's no god but you know

Even if there isn't I trust in god Saved it Was he talking about Not god, was he talking about just people there So is this just like A random tangent he's on Like whatever it is He loses trust in it

At the start of a line And gets it back by the end It's an insane lyric That really threw me I feel like that's gotta happen a lot If you genuinely believed That there's magic angels floating around Enslaved to some evil god

To watch you while you poop Officially stuff like that would occur to you And you'd be like oh this is obviously bullshit No, no, I feel like that's The thought process of every Christian Every day, maybe Even if he isn't watching me poop I still know he's up there

This one's for you buddy I love you I love you god This phone book's for you This third track is called Tear Down the Walls by Steven Krumbacker With an umla Living with walls of sand

Come on, that's bad He could break you out Of the prison you're in Now it's getting good Jesus wants to set you free Tear Down the Walls Living all his life in victory Love it

I got it out before the guitar solo That seems like a little embarrassed It's like a really shy guitar solo Kind of creeping in there Yeah, a lot of the production on this Is they really You can easily clock it as Christian from the production Because the guitar solo sounds sheepish

The drums aren't quite right I mean you can clock it as Christian In three seconds because it sounds Like a hard rock riff In a promotional video for like Duluth, it's cool now Well On Spotify

The credits are wrong So the number three Is credited to Bernard Wright Who was a session musician And I think maybe produced some of the songs And it turns out he was like a real guy He was like an R&B Kind of bubbling under guy through the 80s

He has a wonderful album Cover for his debut album Nard His name is Bernard Just call me Nard He said knowing his career was over Instantly Just call me Nard

Fuck, wait back up Ladies love Nard LL Cool Nard No, but like apparently He was like a legit guy in the 80s And a lot of his stuff Has been sampled by like a lot of 90s hip hop I wish by Skilo

Is like based off a sample from one of his songs And then something Really wrong happened in 1990 I don't know what Tell me it's just a moment again No, he just wound up doing stuff like this Oh, okay God happened

Yes, God happened Great work again Jesus Christ I mean he was like having hits Up through 1985 and then Looks like his final single Yo Nard didn't take off You definitely find God after you See what the world thinks of Yo Nard

That's the one that turned him Like I've done it, I've finally got enough cred I'm gonna make Nard happen And it didn't And he lost faith in the world His band was called Crumbacker He lost to Stephen, kept the umlaut

Which I thought made him seem like a One-name artist like Bono or Grimace But no, that was just his band name Like Van Halen Yeah, like Van Halen Exactly like Van Halen really They'd already disbanded By the time he made this song for the power team

And you know, you heard it It's about breaking out of the walls Of sin with the power of Jesus I thought this song was kind of nerdy Even for this album And I think it's about From the words Their imagery is all over the place

But I think this is about not doing sex stuff It's about being into avoiding sin And it's so nonspecific I don't think they were talking about drugs Or bearing false witness or whatever other sin Like I really felt this is an anti-sex song And looking at Crumbacker He doesn't have like the Rockstar Halloween costume

Of the other artists on this album He looks like someone who like Checks in with his pastor about his porn addiction It's hard to explain But it seems like God has pranked him With a face too small for his head So he'd always look silly But it's really just a test of his faith

I guess I'm just kind of mad at him for sucking For sucking this hard On a thing that was otherwise pretty rad I guess So that's why I'm mad at Steven And his tiny little face And his shy guitar solo His guitar solo too shy to ask a girl to dance

I mean I'm looking at these pictures And they're just like rough Because like first off Like I think these pictures were taken like 1986 Or something so it's going to look lame and dated anyway And these are Christian artists Who were like the lame parody

Of what is now lame To look at today So it's like There are mullets and then there are mullets You know We're inceptioning mullets down Just dropping through the mullet levels It's like a mullet on a mullet

One more mullet You'll see us talking about the mullets Although The name of this album is Escape from the Fallen Planet That was Crumbocker's big Big record I guess Which is a pretty awesome name

But it's not It's like it's a concept album It's about God but it's based on a science fiction Novel from 1936 And get this, not fucking It's about not fucking Taking the power of Christ and channeling it Into your balls

I was not a fan of this one I'm gonna move on to track number 4 Here's where it gets fun This is Authority by PID Gotta suck the devil's They're like us, they get phone numbers wrong You talk Cause anyone can't fish

I love that fisherman Fisherman Shade thrown in there Fucking think you're special Jesus Christ is the real fisherman He makes that shit out of rocks I believe the term for this In 1990 was whack Following full negatives

It seems like a rap song From about 3 or 4 years earlier A little bit It's like a tiny bit out of date Although like 1990 Is not like a good year to be Up to date anyway because that was Like one of the lamest years in history

Yeah I don't know I guess they couldn't afford the catchy Samples that any other Rapper would have been using at the time They didn't mix up their cadence at all So the song is fucking 5 minutes long and it's just

That non-stop That exact same cadence It takes so long The samples on the track They kind of sound like a racist Japanese arcade game You know what I mean? That rap boys game that you brought So it sounds like that

But they're called PID And when you google them You mainly get pelvic inflammatory Disease Not great for your brand It's supposed to stand for preachers in disguise Because they're like the transformers You have to push a thumb on them

To reveal their secret preacher rub signs Can I say Despite the fact that they wrapped I was not very fooled By their disguise It didn't fool anybody Also they're noticeably less good Than secular hip hop

They're sick rhymes You couldn't possibly be a preacher with these Sick rhymes There was one Yo you need to repent Like a camper needs a tent And god ain't no sucker So don't you ever get it bent

This was like the era Like comedy movie would have Their own rap at the end And we hadn't quite figured out That rapping You do actually need skills to do People would just assume You don't have to sing or do anything

Why that's easy I can get on a mic and do it myself It's just reading a bunch of rhymes And a vague rhythm Anyone can do it And I think that was a thing that persisted I think some people are keeping it alive I think some people are keeping it alive

And eventually we shamed Those people into stopping doing that But that's well along the line So I feel like this is a community though That they do not have shame Like doing, performing this rap For a Christian audience

No one would think to walk up to them And say, sir that was wiggity whack I appreciate the message It's God That's true, I liked that message That God was not a sucker emcee Because God's crew is legit Too legit to quit in fact

I went to a little college In the middle of the Bible Belt And so it was like a private college But most of my, a lot of my friends Came from like really deep Fundy backgrounds And they showed me some Horrible, horrible things

They grew up with including Something called I Love Rap Music By the band DC Talk Oh, I'm familiar with DC Talk, sure I didn't know they did a whole rap album They love rap music They showed me this Is it like pop music about how much they love rap music

Or is it rap songs About how much they love rap songs It was a rap song about how much they love Rap music The best kind Yes It sounds like something that Urca would perform It is, and it was better than this

It was Although I did I did like the little sample They had of like I want to say it was Martin Luther King It probably wasn't, but it was like some preacher going Ministry of Jesus Christ In the background

Jesus Christ Sampling MLK on a DC Talk Rap album No, no, that was this song Okay, well I'll allow it I like that they They saved for their last one They had a third rapper come in

And all of his rhymes for the first half Were about how he's going to rhyme any minute now Which was A crazy thing to say And I don't know that he ever did But he really, he threatened to It wasn't even about God has great feet, I love hot dog meat

It's just threatening to rap Like I might Rap any minute, it could happen That was almost it, rapping Happened, right? Let me go back Get this man His own theme song at the end of a comedy movie Yeah, that's very much the vibe

It's like the grandma Who's been hanging out with Chris Rock the whole movie And finally she's like, let me hit that chronic And then gets up and performs this song I'm glad you're here though Because I have no idea when hip hop Is bad

He sucked before he was a Nazi And to this day I still have no idea Vanilla Ice is bad He is, and so is this Okay, well that's good I'm glad we're in agreement This next one Is by Rick Elias

And it's called Run or Hide Run this time Run this time The day that you have fear Does finally come It feels like a Steven Seagal song I love this shit So we've decided

Your challenge we will meet No more sympathy Run in a way If you don't mind I think that we would like to stay We're here to shake the gates Of heaven evermore Cause we're cross army

And we're kicking down that door Nowhere to run or hide Run or hide Damn it That's one of my favorite songs on this album Because it's only Like the other songs hint at it This one's exclusively about

Just running down Satan like a dog Just like getting in your truck Getting some boys together And fucking running him down Like an escaped Texan prisoner Like we're just gonna whip Satan's ass Satan is shaking in his boots right there

Like that was like These are very powerful men It's terrifying It sounds like someone who doesn't know the words of karaoke It's just really late It might be my least favorite song on the album I thought it was It sounds like montage music from

Police Academy 8 Undercover Pastors Not the soundtrack This is Music carefully taping back together A phone book But The lyrics, you gotta give them credit for those lyrics They're just like

Satan's not that powerful Let's just get him Has anybody tried just getting him? Let's get him Remember there's a Dana Carvey bit Like way back in the 80's Where he played a guy that was making up a song as he went along Yes, he's Chopin Broccoli

Chopin Broccoli, yes Look it up if you haven't heard it, it's fantastic But these lyrics sound like that Like just sloppy nonsense It sort of technically rhymes Doesn't build on anything I love the weird little fake growls But I guess this guy was a respected mainstream Christian producer

Really? Was he a respected mainstream singer? Cause he's not good Yeah, he seems really really bad But his name is all over Christian albums For many years I mean like that guy sounds Like a Hollywood actor's

Vanity Project band Yeah, maybe even worse Like that guy's plumbers commercial This next one is It's finally one from the ladies This is Cindy Cruz with Even Now Ooh

Ooh, that's some hot shit Yeah Little distance between us That's some slow dance I know you want to kiss me But we've got to fight it Inspired of myself I don't know how

But so far Even more Whatever Christian message is in there It's so well hidden I think it's just a love song about a guy who isn't Jesus Like what do you even shatter to this music Other than hearts Oh wait, pressurized unused balls

During a slow dance Yeah It opens the door to a genre We see again later on this album Which is kind of about fucking God Which I don't Think is allowed Like I don't think God loves you in that way

I don't think that's what that means Yeah, it's like a tender Penetrative love too This isn't like edging This isn't like Christian love making We can cut that That might hurt people's feelings Can I ask

During what part Of the ultimate demonstration By the power team Does this play One of them is having a cigarette While he cries Like imagine blowing up a water bottle Do they wait for this song to finish

And then they pop Like what feet of strength goes with that They all take turns lifting her over their heads Like the barbarian brothers Just straight up over their heads And then they pass her along to the next brother Symbolizing What they'll do afterwards

We cut that Very subtly Go ahead I gotta say Up to this point This album was much too hardcore for me And This was just like a welcome break

This is what I expect Christian music To sound like Gloopy 90s Soft rock ballad Like that perfect period between 1987 and 1991 Where it was just nothing but Wimpitude

And all this like All that hard rock stuff is just like It sounds like a syntax error Like someone trying to Like has mistranslated Something somewhere I understand your music Yeah

It's so much sexier than I expected See when I picture Christian music Belting it out with a choir Something not as sultry as this It sounds like Like a love song from Iron Eagle Or something This is like softcore lovemaking

About you I mean that's what That's pretty normal in the Christian music world Okay well I guess I don't Boning Jesus like it's very there He's pretty hunky He usually has his shirt off You have to stare at him all day

I looked this lady up Cindy Cruz She comes from an evangelical music family And they put out over 25 albums So she might be here accidentally I think in 1990 if you put together 10 Christian songs you just find a couple Cindy Cruz songs among them like raccoons So

That's That's all my research I did on that I was like yep this is a very Ubiquitous artist That just seems like You have to include Track 7 though Steve Shannon of Idle Cure

Performing Break the Chains Hell yeah it's the boss fight music The boss stage of the Bible Break the chains of hell Break the chains of hell rules It's weird how every 18th line you wind up With something that whips ass

This is what I think people imagine When they hear the words Christian metal It's someone singing a Cinderella Song at karaoke but with meatloaf lyrics I don't know Todd you're a music guy am I making sense Yes it absolutely does God 1990 was such a bad

Fucking year I think it's perfectly shitty I love it it's about defeating and escaping hell Through I guess fellowship I guess like your best pals at church It's hard to follow but that's what I love about the genre Like as a metal singer The fans and co-workers wouldn't

They would have noticed you couldn't Do the metal voice like if this guy's like To be a singer for the band They'd be like nope you can't do it You can't grunt or scream properly or sing But they don't have those rules in Christian music You can suck shit and they'll allow it It's almost better if you're terrible because

Then they suffer like unto the suffering of Christ I hear that I'm hearing this and I'm just like man When does Christian grunge come along To wipe away all this Christian metal Because it fucking sucks There's no way they didn't do that There's a Christian grunge

Isn't that what Creed was? Oh fuck you're right We allow that as the secular people We're like yeah, sure Creed You can do that Yeah, holy shit By the late 90s A lot of these bands were only

Christian just because it Was a way to get signed And they could like make the jump Or like some of them would like Play footsie with the Christian crowd Or not a Christian band Because Christian bands suck And we don't suck

What we believe in Christ And all of our songs are about is message Yes In a way that rocks kids We have another Tim Miner hit next I'm very excited to get to it This is his cover Of Amazing Grace

hahaha hahaha hahaha hahaha now I found What's out of my mind Now I see yeah

What a touch me hahaha it's a glory glory glory Somebody touch me Glory glory glory Oh, no, you put some stank on it. Well, it's like some dudes like I'm going to make the hardest version of Amazing Grace

for a new generation of crass lovers. And then just never check to see if that worked. It's just fucking dog shit. He's just making those noises and nobody told him. He's like, let's see one without you just helping like a dog. It's not that's not what soul is. That's not what soul looks like. There was a there was a bit in the middle of there.

They were about to sound like they were about to play radar love. It's like, don't don't don't don't don't don't not a radar love. I'm going to make radar love. That's cool. As cool as the heavy metal cover of Amazing Grace. I think this one also had an organ solo in it, which is which is a wonderful move for 1990. Just I don't know every now and then you'll see someone come on to American Idol

who's like been poisoned by their own narcissism. And they're like the I'm going to make a cool version of a really lame song. And that's what like this feels like to me as someone who just like has never looked at the outside world and never taken any input from anyone. He's like, dude, I'm going to just fucking I might not be cool, but I'm the guy who's going to make the coolest fucking Amazing Grace cover. And I don't know. It's it's hard to make fun of this song because it's just already maxed out on mockery.

No, it is what it is. Yeah, I've listened to it many times now. And when you play it right now, it was exactly as funny. Like it has not gotten old. You're like, if I needed to make fun of this song to the guy's face, I would just like turn it up sarcastically. And I feel like like I don't know if you could sing it not sarcastically. Like if if someone was a big fan and came up and sang it sincerely, he'd be like,

fuck, you get the fuck out of my face. I know what I did and I'm embarrassed about it. Shut up about it. Maybe God, I wish it seems like a 13 year old made it. It's like this is like a 13 year old's idea of cool who has not left the church. It's like, what if, you know, played amazing grace, but metal? Or how much not like this draft of it? Yeah, that's just no second take.

It's also like one third of amazing grace. And then he forgets about the rest of the song and just like gets really lost in how good he is at this. Like, I'm fucking killing this. Right, guys? Let's just let me just riff. Kind of remember radar love. Let's throw in some radar love like amazing grace is like it has

lasted a good long time. That's like like a hundred fifty year old song and people still light up for it. Like even you don't even have to be like super into the church to enjoy that song. And it's like, well, how can we ruin this? Like, how can we like they don't even use the melody? They don't even use the melody. They just like come up with their own melody, amazing grace, sweet sound. It sounds like that's at least 40 percent better.

Yes, I think it sounds like a whole version of it for the power teams. Jeez, the fuck. It is by far the highlight of this. Yeah, still the whole album. The next one is called. It's a song by someone, Angie Allen, singing a song called It's Not Worth It. I didn't take a clip from this one as a fun little joke about the title. No, that one was my favorite.

Really, for real, or my second favorite, at least. It says the words. It's not worth it and it's not worth the pain like 60 times. I'm not even quite sure what she's talking about. Probably breaking handcuffs, right? OK, it's definitely about fucking. That's the line is the pleasure will never outweigh his pain. So she's saying fucking feels good.

But you know what? Does fucking feel as good as the crucifixion of our Lord Jesus Christ felt bad? I don't think it does. Yeah, she's probably right. I don't know, man, sometimes. Man, I got I feel bad now because I assumed it was about drugs. Like, why? They need to be more explicit sometimes.

They're too cagey with what they're actually talking about. I thought this was just about sadness. I thought this was for the part of the show where one of the power team members can't break the handcuffs and he just gives up and goes backstage to like get his feelings together. I don't know, like, I feel like there is a counteractive message when you tell people that it's not worth it. What's not worth it?

It must be pretty good for you to. Yeah. So you're saying that the the problem with the the positives don't outweigh the negatives. Is that you just admitted that they are positives? I was like, well, there are positives, huh? You usually don't admit that. So maybe I should find out for myself.

It's got to be whatever you're doing. They wouldn't say there are positives to drugs. It's got to be about full on penetration and how full on penetration isn't worth it because, you know, who got full on penetrated? Jesus Christ. Our Lord, my Lord, my cross, the spear of destiny. OK, I looked up Angie Allen on my own and the first thing that came up was a review on all music dot com,

which, you know, reviews all music and it started. Angie Allen's self titled debut is a collection of mediocre R&B tunes with paint by numbers production and one of the most Christian lyrics with a very high J count. And that explains that a J count is a Christian music term about the number of times Jesus is mentioned on an album. It's great. I would have got that just from the name. Yeah. Well, I love that this is

that this is a Christian music critic. Yes, meaning that, meaning that that industry has critics and they don't like something and they don't like something and they would dare to call something within that genre mediocre, as if you want to break that seal and be like, let's let's throw this word into our lexicon. Now we can refer to our music as mediocre. Oh, well, all of it is then or below average. Are you? Was this a good idea?

Well, if this is if this is mediocre, what's the bad Christian music? Seriously, got a real high M count now. Uh, what's Merkin, you got Merkin's too much. Yeah, I was trying to think, what's the silliest M word? I'm glad we gave you that time. Thank you. We'll just cut it out when people think what a quick wit that man has. Yeah, I lost where I was.

My brain is completely filled with words starting with M that weren't quite silly enough to say out loud. God gave us the power is our next one by by Dboy. Oh, yeah, that means it's bad. I thought we already did that one. Yeah, we did exactly this song. I didn't bother to take a clip because I could just play P.I.D. again.

Oh, yeah, we're not really going to play P.I.D. again. The next track. Yeah, that's right, Dboy. We just fucking skip to you, pal. Track 11 is by Ken Tamplin. He's got to be they got to call this guy the Jesus Dio. He's performing. Take him back. Take him back.

I think he's good in the backup singers. But that was sweet. Yeah, I don't know. I guess it's I like Dio so much that I liked this song. Yeah. And I couldn't understand what he was fucking saying, aside from where the children of the light coming at you, crashing through the night. That was like, that's some Dio shit.

OK, I'm on board. Yeah. Yeah, I would have not clocked that immediately as a Christian song, which is the highest compliment I can give any of these songs. You sound like you don't care about God at all. It's the nicest thing you can say to a Christian artist. I would have heard it and said, this is a really shitty Dio song, which means it's pretty good. Right.

This guy, I looked him up. He is Sammy Hagar's cousin. And he had a decent. Yes, he had a decent. Oh, I don't think it was a failure, though. He had a pretty decent music career with three Christian bands, and he went on to be a successful vocal coach. He also shreds on the guitar like I found a clip of him just fucking an electric guitar up.

I think his sounds were completely wasted on this God crap. Like, I think this guy could have made it, but whatever. I'm sure he did fine as a Christian musician, I think. Oh, I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know.

I don't know. I think it's a fucking teaming up with Daryl Luggins. I just looked up. I just looked him up on Wikipedia and there's an amazing quote from his famous cousin Hagar. Hagar says, I've only met him once, but he sends me his. But you know, he sends me his records and all that stuff. End of quote. Oh, that's amazing.

Went into the public space and said I do not know my cousin. I don't know him, but he keeps setting me He does test for me though. Oh I need to go take a walk It did not elaborate at all and someone felt felt fit to Put that on his Wikipedia page and there is only one person who is editing Ken Tamplin's Wikipedia page Yeah, we get together. Let's just get together on motions Just brutal I love that that song started out We were like this kind of whips ass and then the sadness of his life

Yeah, I don't know that guy says famous cousin Sammy Hagar Uh, amazing. So track 13 is another Steve Shannon of idle cure song I might have skipped one. I skipped track 12. I don't remember why Um, oh, it was a wrecked Elias song, which was like a ghost whining But less musical than that. I fucking hated it. So I'm like, we're not gonna listen to that one But uh track 13 was kind of sweet. This is another Steve Shannon of idle cure song I don't know who idle cure is but uh, Steve Shannon was part of this called power to win And it is way better than the last Steve Shannon of idle cure song

Finally another song about power. It's been three songs. We had a song about power Here I am Just a man But I know I'll go the distance Spray an eagle seven credits I will not fall Sounds like he's singing with like a dog collar that just goes up sometimes Did you leave in all 800 words of this 20 minute course?

I don't think going Of jesus christ and he has the power to win I'm stronger than all of the demons in hell. Yeah, no bullshit is real I love it. I love that one. You know what I mean? Like every 18 lines they get one line I'm stronger than all of the demons in hell, which is just the raddest fucking thing anybody's ever said It's kind of a poor man's saint almost fire. Yeah a little bit I mean, I mean, that's a great song. Yeah, so was that obviously like being a poor man's deal. Hopefully let's find out how sad your life is I've never heard of my cousin the christian one

He's done some of these records. We shoot them on my estate my shooting estate Uh, I don't know power to win if if you had this blasting I would fucking headbutt through a block of ice proudly and dedicated to christ Yeah, you can tell which ones they do feats to which ones are for feats and which ones are for recovering from busting your head open on a block of ice to put some work drugs Definitely, there's a couple of herniated disc songs on there

A couple of prolapsed anuses. I love just in general the whole theme of this album Is is like flexing on demons, but not not metaphorically like they got huge for christ And then every single one of them was like, all right. I'm huge enough to choke out satan. Where is he? Let's go I did it like that's what all this was for I mean like presumably this means be that they are literally going to wrestle satan because I mean, it's a very literal metaphor. Yeah, they are that jacked for a reason, right? Yeah, somebody told them they have to wrestle with their demons and they were like, I'm gonna fucking kick those demons ass Yeah, I don't understand what it would be a metaphor other than like traveling to hell itself and fighting the demons

uh, or The sky rips open and they fall here and then they fight them here. I don't know Uh, but i'm on board like I say this is fucking. I'll play that game either way Yeah, about the bodybuilder just ripping demons ass I would like it to be sort of fmv like digitized from actual photos like pit fighter I feel like that's the best way to handle a game like that That's the best way to handle bulk in video games. You really get the sense and that in all that grain of like, yeah That's that that veiny bulk. I need right you want two frames of punch

You want one arm straight up and then one arm straight out? So it kind of looks like just a big hammer fist And one kneeling to the power of christ Right. Yeah, get get the bodybuilder to duck take a picture of that. That's his duck God, this is gonna be a good game. Let's do it I think i'm avoiding talking about the last song because it's another liaison song Uh, which sounds like something richard marx would wipe his ass to it just fucking sucks

I didn't even take clip. It's a great one to end the album though. You have to admit like that's how you tell everybody Okay, the good times over We need to get this auditorium ready for For the amazing randy who's gonna who's gotta show at eight. Let's go. Let's get moving What did they Where did they perform? It was just like a school thing. He would do school stuff, but they didn't talk about god at their school I told the story last podcast we talked about them

They came to my school and told everyone not to do drugs And they did a feat where they put two girls on a bench and lifted them and so they sent one power team into the crowd to find Uh, two girls and he brought them back and the other guy said no, no, no I'm gonna go find two girls So he found two girls made the first to sit on the side of the stage while he lifted the second pair and then uh Sent them all back to their seats and we even as 12 year olds figured out

Oh, that first guy got girls that the second guy didn't think were hot enough So he went out to find the hottest children And we saw that happen To lift them and we watched that drama play out before our eyes And those two girls had to live with that that they were not hot enough to be lifted by the power team for the rest of their lives To be lifted up by jesus christ jesus christ doesn't he doesn't lift sevens. I'm sorry So yeah, like I feel like this discussion here uh

a uh A repeat of a previous story on the podcast is the perfect way to discuss this liaison song because it is a garbage song That no one should ever talk about um In fact, we're gonna go out on power to win again Well, let's go. We better cut the podcast right when he says i'm stronger than all the demons in hell The last thing i gotta say to anybody we're gonna go out on every single track

It's too powerful There's too much power. Happy fucking birthday jesus. Put it on the demons in hell. I'm stronger than all the demons right now I'm stronger than all the demons in hell The craft is Uh Here at one nine hundred hot dog daycare We believe every child can be supreme

Now let's meet a few of our precious tots three finger louis erin crosston adrian h Aiden muet get well soon. We're all rooting for you No alpha scientist java. We do not hold the weight here unandy Andres larson

Badger transformers aren't food. No, especially not if you're a transformer. That's fucked up benjamin sirenon bin tolser brandon garlock bryan sailor you need to poke air holes in the play-doh mask or this game of mummy gets way too real brian whitney Brockway loves the meat milling. Yes, he does burrito mouth

Ceril don't touch that never touch that. I don't even understand how you're touching that rev chance mcdermot chris brower curious glare tan b The artist formerly known as devon sweetie knives are for grown-ups and revenge only Dean castello

Don fanny doctor awkward erics baldy Fancy shark Jell-o Now see greg cunningham needs those knives for revenge and now he doesn't have them. Do you see why we save the knives? hambo haraca

hot fart very funny jaber al-aid james poid Jeff araski fire is not your friend if anything it's more of a lover jeremy neal john dean john hector mcfarland john mccammon

josh fabian joshua graves. I don't care how many rats you tied together. You cannot ride them like a magic carpet josh s ken paisley k&m and jahe sheppell matt riley Max baroy. I know you mean well, but what you're doing is called compromat

michael lair michael wells mickey loman mike styles moju nd a smaller child is not a pet no matter how much they've heard neil bailey neil shafer

nick ralston hazi ulman hattrick herbst The amazing rain gets your fingers out of there. The bible strictly forbids it. It's very clear riannan sarkovsky shanches don't Actually, fuck yeah, I think you can make that jump. Let's see it

spotting reception super-knot ted h thomas kevazos, I don't think you can make that jump But I want nothing more in this world than to be wrong. Let's fucking see it timmy lehi toasty god tom sakula

tommy gene wailin russell yosarian armando nava you're you're actually doing great gold star don't don't attack the other children with the gold star