The Dogg Zzone by 1900HOTDOG - Dogg Zzone 9000 - Episode 108, Kumite The Home Game: Part 2 with Zak Koonce And Vanessa Guerrero

Episode Date: February 1, 2023

Brockway recruits Seanbaby and guests Zak Koonce and Vanessa Guerrero into the nerdiest kumite: This is the movie Bloodsport but Dungeons and Dragons. This is episode 2. This is the one with "OK USA!" in it!

One nine hundred hot dog. One nine hundred hot dog. Our podcast slams with maximum hype. Say hot dog podcast work. Yeah. When you taste that nitrate power, you're in the dog zone for an hour. Come on.

You know the number. One nine hundred. One nine hundred hot dog. One nine zero zero. One nine hundred hot dog. One nine hundred. One nine hundred hot dog. One nine zero zero zero.

Yeah. Nine thousand. Welcome to the dog zone nine thousand, the official podcast of one nine hundred hot dog, where internet comedy has gone to die. But, well like in a fun way. I'm Robert Brockway. Today I will be your blood master.

That is because we're playing the second installment of Kumite, the home game, which is the movie Bloodsport, but instead of just ripped to the tits battle hunks at the peak of their combat abilities, we use Dungeons and Dragons. Inspired by the true lies of karate grifter Frank Dukes, Bloodsport is the best movie based on a pending lawsuit.

The three delusional pillars that comprise Frank Dukes are unstoppable kick machine, which is what he thinks he is. Karate Shaman, which is the part of him that thinks he can do karate magic, and Ninja Liar, which is what he actually is. And it would kick ass if he would just own that. I would really respect it.

All three parts working together will make one Frank Dukes. So if this system that I've described makes the story sound ridiculous or confusing or just too much, if splitting Frank Dukes into three parts means he's contradicting himself or even physically fighting himself sometimes, if it all just breaks the suspension of disbelief, that means it's an accurate biography of Frank Dukes,

which is what we're doing here. Your players are master of feet, Sean Baby, who plays a master of feet. I'm the foot and the feet. Your foot and the feet. Welcome to me. Tell us about your character. What's your name?

What's your specialty? My name is Tarantino Liefeld, because I both love my feet and I'm terrified of them. And I am a halfling barbarian in Dungeons & Dragons terms, but in the practical game terms, I am the feet. The feet, the feet of Dukes. Zac Coons will be disappearing like a master thespian into the role of...

Drankfucks. I am the karate shaman version of... I guess it's how you describe it, what he has sort of become after he spent enough years buying his own bullshit. I am the mystic side of Frank Dukes. I am a male warlock in D&D terms, and I will be using my mind for most of my...

The karate mind. Do no touch stuff. The karate mind. It's a gratuitous mind. You have to get it out of the way early. Yeah, I do a lot of no touch... Keep an open mind! I had to do it.

I had to do the full... Draw it out all the way. We got... Avoiding landmines has become a staple threat, and anytime we're all in the same... And it will not happen. It will never happen. Well, we will step on every single one.

We'll go out of our way. Anything you want to plug before we get started? Just the YouTube channel. Last time I was here, we were plugging the Larry series we were working on. That's finished. It's been done. I'm very satisfied with how it went.

You know, you should watch, though. It doesn't do as well on our channel, but I love the series, and I'm going to keep trying to push new episodes out as much as possible. We created fake, infomercial redubs. We sort of created a fake universe

made out of real infomercials that we just redub, and we're telling, I guess, a story about a dystopian future run by possible aliens that don't have our best interest at heart, and their enemy's faction of wannabe paramilitary experts

that also want to sell you junk just in their own for freedom. Next role playing campaign. Mm-hmm. The tack light. If you've ever seen a tack light commercial, we use those. If you've ever seen somebody fail to like,

yeah, zoomies. If you ever see someone like fail in black and white to do something that anybody should be able to do, we'd probably use that. Yeah, my favorite's the one in the closet where they like, I think it's just tennis balls or something like,

whoa, how hands? Oh, these tennis balls. Here's, real quick, here's a good way to make yourself feel bad about you as a person. The reason why they make them like that, because a lot of these products were originally designed

for handicap people, but there's not enough handicap people in the world to turn a profit, I guess. So they have to pivot and sell these things to everyone else. And so those commercials are made to, they can't just say like, look, if you're handicapped by this,

they're like, if you're an idiot that can't walk on your legs, then maybe this product is for you. You're right, I do feel bad. That's what they did with it. What a fun fact. I do feel bad. I really hope you're wrong.

It sounds like you made that up, or it sounds like someone made that up and told you that. I didn't. I found out because someone called us out for making fun of a commercial that helped you put socks on. And I was like,

you know what this is really for, right? And I'm like, I don't. Why would anybody know that? We called it the sock defense grid. I don't know what else, what it could be for. It's crazy how many people in the internet are just there to make everything less fun.

They're just like, here's the guy you don't know him. He just shows up to say, hey, everything you know is less fun. Bye. There's a happy ending though. Someone just goes, dude, you should actually watch this. And then he did.

He goes, I withdraw. I withdraw my statement. This was funny. I mean, he wasn't even checking it. He was just. He didn't even fucking watch. He just saw what it was and that we were making fun of it.

And that, therefore, we were bad people. He had 50 more to do that hour. He's like, God, I got that. I saw somebody else fucking making fun of those grabber things. Maybe, I don't know. They mentioned them. I'm going to go give them a lecture.

The Mormons pay me to just be mass no fun on the Internet. That's it. We won that one. We won the day in his eyes. And. Fun wins again. Vanessa Guerrero.

She's back. One has to assume with a vengeance. You are playing. I am playing Francine Ducks. And I've got 18 girlfriends that you totally don't know about because they all live in Canada. They're super real.

And I'm just like, They're like feet. They're super into feet. And I'm just like a monk barred slash fighter slash ranger combination because like, no big deal, but I've like learned how to be all of these things.

And I'm the part of Frank Ducks's brain that can't stop fucking lying. Which has, which is now all of it. That's all of it. Arguably the best part. Yeah. It's like a fungal like parasite.

His body is flesh and fat or mostly lies. I don't know how, but it's true. And anything you want to plug? Yeah. I produced a show called 10 minute power hour for Game Grumps that is on every other Wednesday on the channel, the Grumps on YouTube.

And additionally, I have a new podcast coming up called Popcorn and Pixels where we talk about similar stories across gaming and movies and the differences in between like how a ludonarrative story tells that story versus like how a linear, more like traditional form of storytelling chooses to like tell that tale and we kind of find some of the parallels

and how certain things could only be done by certain mediums. Oh shit. That sounds really smart. That's the opposite of what we do. Thank you. I'm very excited. Spoiler episode two.

I gave my co-host who has to come up with a video game pairing to this movie like a really difficult one. I said phantom thread and I feel like such a bitch. So it's also harassment. What is phantom thread? Yeah. I was like, find a video game that goes with phantom thread.

Is it a haunted sewing machine? Like what is the... It's a movie. It's a Paul Thomas Anderson movie about mommy issues and a mutually beneficial toxic relationship in which a woman keeps poisoning a man so they stay in love together. That's why I didn't know it.

P.T. Anderson bums me out. I avoid him like... I will say this is somehow the least bummer of his movies. It's just two freaks that found each other. That's just Donkey Kong Country, isn't it? Yeah, that's Donkey. So they stay. Yeah, right?

You see where I'm going. Yeah, I see where you're going. Maybe she should have paired Donkey Kong Country with this one. Thank you for making me feel smart, which again, we don't do often. But that sounds great. I would like to plug our store,

the kumite the home game shirt. We'll get you attacked on the street and you love that. It's why you buy the shirt. I don't know why you would buy it if not to get attacked and prove your worth against strangers. Buy the shirt.

Buy the shirt. It's a good shirt. Last time. Not featuring feet. Is it not featuring feet? I don't think there's feet on it. There's no feet on it. Yeah.

It's all torso. We'd get sued if we put Frank Dukes' feet on it. I wonder if that's all an elaborate ARG to find the feet. Maybe you should go looking for the feet. Real fans and listeners. Please don't come to my house looking for feet. Please find each of us from the podcast. We all have a secret pair of feet for you.

Okay. Last time, as though any of us remember last time, I took some notes on it. So, see you, the collective aspects of Frank Dukes, I remember that, were recruited into the kumite. But first, you had to crush a pathetic PFC and skin an insane veteran with your feet. That doesn't sound right.

That does sound like us. You will live a better life through us. That was right. Are you still carrying his skin is a good question. We're always. Didn't Vanessa make our Shidochi like smell his own wife on her fingers? Yeah, I did.

No, no. That was Shingo. The memory of Shingo did. Okay. Yes. Yeah. The photo. After we put it on.

Okay. It's all coming back. Yeah. We had a good time with the, with the Shingo. Yeah. You passed all over the memory of your Shidochi's dead son. I just realized we might not be the good guys. Yeah.

Don't think you're just going through it. Nope. I know it. It felt good. We're the Frank Dukes, whatever that happens to me at any time. I have notes here that Vanessa did a totally unprovoked and real problematic impression of a Frenchman.

Oh yeah. I wouldn't say it was totally unprovoked as much as it was something that I was goaded into doing. We need to take responsibility. I think you made us, I think you made us all roll for Frenchman that she won. Now I don't have that in my notes and it's impossible to prove. So we'll assume that's not true.

You definitely became unmoored in time because of nesting flashbacks. So some of you aren't real. I don't remember which, but I'll just keep that in mind. You might not be real. Each one of you. That was one episode. That was one episode of this show that we did. We did not get very far into the Bloodsport journey.

Yeah, we're still not in Hong Kong. You've made your own Bloodsport journey. And they say the worst kind of D&D game is full of murder hobos doing exactly what you're doing. But I guess I went out and specifically recruited like the murderiest hobos I could find. So I think this is the least fun because this is the only time I've had fun playing.

Yeah, this is working as intended. I would say. And there were no murder hobos in the last ones. This is going well. Nobody's taking the narrative seriously, which is just a buzzkill. I love it. The game. You are on a plane ride to Hong Kong.

You're all going to be kicked off and banned from this airline forever for something. What did each of you do? Speaking of that, I wrote, I have an urge to jump kick. So I'm going to roll to resist that urge. Not seeing it. I jump kick. Who do you jump kick and how?

Let's see. I'm going to roll to decide. I don't have a decide jump kick role. So whatever's closest to my feet. And when I say feet, both feet, it's a helicopter kick. Okay. You're sitting next to a very young child who was actually behaving wonderfully on this flight.

Everybody was very impressed with her. It's her first flight. And she was just, she was being a little champ about it. No crying. Just a lot of wonder in her eyes. See if I have a role to save against regret. I don't have it. I think that's an animal handling role.

You're giving me an animal handling role. I'm using that one a lot. Okay. It's animal handling. Nine. Oh no. You feel regret. You definitely feel some regret, which is out of character for you.

But yeah, you feel some regret about this. I don't know how you're going to deal with that. Feeling it for the very first time in your life. And if you're Frank Dukes, never again. I rolled a 10 religious role. You, you found Mormonism. Yeah, that's more religious. Yeah.

Right in the middle. You converted a nine nine and below as Joe was witness. 10, 10 to 11 is Mormonism. Yeah. All right, Zach, what do you do on this plane right over that gets you banned from the airline forever? All right. I am going to use my charm.

Actually, do I? Okay. I have really high charisma. I think this is going to work. And I don't think it will get me banned. I'm going to try to convince the stewardess that ninja mind control is incredibly pleasing tantric experience. Well, that's just true.

You topped. Yeah. This is the. How do I roll for that? Yeah, you will never have better sex than ninja mind control sex. So that is going to be several deception. I know. See, I think that's true.

So it's not deception. It's definitely let's say it's persuasion. Persuasion. Here we go. Did I say on the last podcast that Frank Dukes hit on my ex at her ninja school? What? Yeah, we did.

I did not hear this. Yeah. So she was being a ninja, whatever you do at ninja school and Frank Dukes was there. And yeah, she said he really hit on her and I'm like, what? Like, dude, like kind of flurred with you or she like leveled with me. She's like, no, no, he he was serious and not even close to age appropriate. So that's part of the.

This is this is a true story that I'm recreating here then. Yes, absolutely. If you fail your role really, really badly, then it is. I mean, I got a seven. That's pretty bad. That's great. That seems like higher than what she was indicating. I feel like in real life, he rolled a three year old.

Well, this is also taking place in 1989. So this was the peak of Frank Dukes's power and he got a seven. So this is. Yeah. Well, is that I see a plus three there. So is that a 10? No, that's what you're playing. You rolled a four.

Okay. Which is a good role. But the plus three is the three years that getting blood sport made bought you of good will. That's it. And you and it adds up. That's right. That's my blood sport street cred.

I actually probably led with that. I was like, you ever heard of blood sport? We're in it right now. You will. You're part of it. I'm one third of the guy from that movie. I'm just the part of him that believes in karate. I asked her.

I'll make you famous. That's what I said. I did the Billy the Kid thing. And she said, gross. I'd rather be dead, of course. And then she went and got her boyfriend, the pilot who left the plane to kick your ass and nearly crashed, killing you all. That's how you got banned.

Oh, sure. Vanessa. I did. I got my ass kicked. Fuck. Well, I didn't say you got your ass kicked. He left the plane to go. You left the cockpit to kick your ass.

Well, we'll leave that fight up in the air. But Vanessa, what did you do that got you banned from this airline forever? I got confused when I saw those barf bags and not knowing what their actual usage was. And I'm trying to convince the person next to me that they're for taking a shit when the bathroom is busy. And I'm trying to get them to take a shit and do it. Good stuff. Get to your character sheet.

You can use those as a condom if you get a running start. I can verify that. It just suctions around. Now, is this, this is, this feels like a friendly, like you're trying to convince them that's true rather than forcing them. So let's do a deception role. And remember, you got to give me disadvantage on everything. Disadvantages.

How do I do that again? You just give, just tell me, just do it twice and tell me the lower one. Okay. So I'm going to click on deception twice. My first one is a nine. My second one is a 12. We're going, no, my second one was an 18. So we're going with the nine.

Going with the nine. He tries, but he just kind of fills it loosely with farts, which is not, it's not good enough, but does catch the attention of the airline who bans you for doing this to every single person on this flight so far. You're telling me she saw this guy farting into a bag and she said, instead of get the fuck out of the place, she says, who told you to do this? I took ownership for it. I stood up and I was like, I was just trying to tell him what these bags were for.

Please, someone back me up on this. I'm waiting for one other person to say that it's true because I don't know. But with the nine, they do not. Nobody, nobody's got your back. Frank Dukes, the bag shitting advocate, bag shitting attorney at law. They had to make a new rule for you on this plane. No telling people to poop. That's why, that's why that warning is on those bags.

I mean, they always say because it happened one time. They call it the Dukes rule. Dukes is law. That's it. Don't shit in the barf bag. It's Dukes is law. Dukes. All right.

So you're taking a boat back. Clearly you're done on this airline. But you get off, you hop on a trolley in Hong Kong when a huge American gets on drinking a course like a boss. He looks like, I'm going to say the cartoon bear mascot for some kind of Canadian protein beer. He hits on the first woman. He sees who is the size of his leg and would immediately die if he actually got to put

it in. He says, hey, babe, want to go out with a real big man? And you know what? He says, hey, do you have a paper bag? I got to take a Dukesie, which is what it's called now when you poop in a bag. Sean volunteered first. Sean, give me an animal handling role. All right.

Let's see if I can handle this guy. 18. 18. I feel like I really rescued that lady from a bad place. You were not playing as yourself. You were rolling as the woman to see how she rejects Jackson. That's good because if it was a very low roll, he might have just eaten her. He might have just eaten her right there.

Two bites and done. But she gives him a weird little look and he goes, no, huh? Too handsome for you and backs off like a gentleman, like a huge gentleman. That's thanks to your 18. Guy. Respect. So if you ever been with a real big man, it's such a great line. Like the number of times I've gotten to saying that it's, it's, let me do an animal

handling role is 18 again. Insight because I want to know the secret of his incredible charm. You got 15. That's enough. You get it. I gained. Okay. I grew as a person.

I did watch it and use it later. I'll give you advantage on that role because you gained insight to the real big man. Why? Yes. It doesn't work on her and your successful role has made it play out exactly like the movie. Instead of, I'm guessing skinning somebody else. I don't know.

I don't know how that would go if you, if you didn't make that role. Thank God you made that role. You and the hugest gentleman arrive at a hotel bar. Give me one second here. The hotel bar. It's done up in a style that I'm going to say Kansas city's third best used car salesman would call my Oriental love den. Real, real classy place for you to hang out in Hong Kong.

And in the bar, there's an attractive blonde woman, the kind of lady that I'm going to say Kansas city's third best used car salesman would call a seven for looks, but a nine in the futon. Not my words again. It's his words. Remember, I'm not saying that. I think she's beautiful. Negging.

It's just part of dog puzzles playbook. It's how he sells cars. That's how he sells himself to women. You also, of course, see the man you came in with the man monster from the trolley. He's drinking beers that look hilariously inadequate in his beast hands. He's playing a video game, which you barely know about in 1989. Like this might be hacking. You've kind of heard of hacking.

He might be hacking. Yeah, I've got this one. This is, this is a ninja shaman situation. Yeah. We are going to roll for being unperturbed and actually good at video games. That is going to be. It's going to be our canna. What is the right technological equivalent?

It's karate champ. So you did everything by like moving to joysticks. You just move it to sticks, right? Yeah. How about investigation? I feel like that's yeah, definitely more like religion. I'll tell you what you're doing now is rolling for the approach. You're not going to play the game yet, but you're going to side.

Okay. I was jumping right in there. Well, then medicine. I think that's a medicine role. Yeah. I think we're still, you know, if we're just approaching him, I think we still need an animal hand. Yeah, because this is basically a lost bear who wandered in from the woods and fell in

love with the pretty light. We still need to, we still need to have the appropriate approach to not get eaten. So I'm going to, I'm going to roll an animal handling role. 17. Oh, that's good. He loves it. He loves it. You've approached him instead of attacking you.

Which would be his natural instinct. It was smart to agree with Karen. He's not threatened by us. Jackson's giant mitts are destroying those poor tiny controls never designed to be attacked by a walrus. Karate champ. It's what you are. And he looks at you with delight in his eyes thanks to that role and says, all right,

brother. Yeah. Yeah. Do you take that as an invitation? Do you want to put a quarter in? Cause that's all he says. Yeah. I think it's time to jump in.

Put a quarter into karate champ. Acrobatics. I'm not going to make you roll to put a quarter in. Oh, okay. We put it in. Frank. I just want to roll to be automatically good at it. That's my, that's my goal here.

Oh no, you're not. You're not being automatically good at it. I put in a, I put a nickel in. Hey, that's a me move. It worked. Yeah. If that was, if that was Vanessa, we may have had something from that, but no. The feet, you can roll to put a nickel in with your feet, but it's going to be hard.

It's going to be a tough one. I rolled an 18. That's a, that's a foot nickel roll. You told me to convince the machine that it was, that it was a quarter. You saved 20 cents. Good job, feet. Somehow it works. I'll just put that down.

I'll just put that in 20 more cents. We've got the skin of a dead veteran in 20 cents. 20 cents. I got to remember that because we could have approached Jackson as a dead veteran. Yeah. Well. Next time. Because that happened so early and it was so traumatizing, my storytelling instincts say,

that's got to come back in the, in the big fight later. That's got to come back somehow. Right. I would hate to see you burn it. That's a, that's a ghost in the machine ghost. It's a slain veteran in the machine. All right. So we've loaded up karate champ.

The overall disappears and you're in a simply rendered colorful eight bit desert. You right now are little pixelated versions of Van Damme and you're facing off against a little pixelated version of Ray Jackson. It's adorable. Can you believe nobody made that? I had to go looking. Nobody made that. It doesn't exist.

Your pixel artist fucking make that. It would be so cute. All right. You are in the game karate champ and this is going to be our first fight 14. Remember the 16 and that's your with disadvantage role. Yes. Okay. Let's get up first.

What are you going to do to big old Jackson? What am I going to do? I think I'm going to start attacking the screen because I don't understand that I'm supposed to be hitting buttons. Okay. Well, let's get, let's get, what's the opposite of a wisdom role? What's an, what's an idiot fury role? I think that's a religious role.

Yeah. In your face. God got you again. That's a, I can't, I can't understand video games when there's a God in heaven. Yeah. All right. Give me a, give me a religion role. There's also a nature, nature role, which is the opposite of technology.

All right. My first one was an eight. My second one was a seven. Okay. So you do attack the screen. You don't do any damage cause we got that, those good thick eighties arcade screens that are built to survive fucking throw in dogs at it and shit. Do I hurt myself in any way?

You do hurt yourself. You jam your fingers on it pretty bad. I'm not going to make you take damage for that, but let's add one more disadvantage to everything you do in the game. Cause you're doing it with busted fingers. I need those fingers. And also roll three times. Yeah.

Roll three times just for the game. Okay. And also it looks like Jackson has lost some respect for you. Like he's like, even, even I know that's a, that's a fake world brother. What do you, do you have a cover story for this? Or are you just going to mutely? No, just like back in the US. This is how it works.

I feel like a, like maybe I'm probably from the US, but I've been, I spent a lot of time in the forest. I don't know. So yeah, we'll, we'll let that one work. More and more on poor simple Jackson. He wants, he wants to believe in you. All right. Up next is Jackson himself.

And he in the video game, mind you, is going to use huge punch. That's really strategic. Yep. Huge punch. Like a normal punch, but Jackson sized is huge. He's going to target you, Vanessa. No. Because he has lost a little bit of respect for your ability.

So he's got a 15. Does that hit you? What's your armor class? My armor is trying to find it. Definitely not vamping 11. 11. He does, he does hit you with that huge meaty fist. That, that tastes, tastes of ham somehow.

And you take eight damage. Damn it. Somehow he's been eating ham. He's always been eating ham. You guys a hundred percent of the time. I take hammage. Hey sandwich, you ever been eaten by a real big man? The sandwich looks up with worry and disgust.

No, huh? All right. Hungry for you. Okay. And now it is Tarantino lifelts turn. Okay. I'm going to play karate champ just like I play in real life. I'm going to hammer the joystick in random directions and see what happens.

So I'm going to roll a deep. How do I do? Roll a deep. There we go. Okay. So four and one. So that is one, two, three, four round kick. That's up and neutral.

That's a round kick. I pulled up a control. I didn't even develop a control matrix for this. Jesus. You're going. It was the first Google result. I said karate champ controls and there it is. But on the fly, you came up with dice that mean something in terms of that.

So for outsmarting me, your DM, you were punished. Okay. That's how karate champ works. I'm going to try to do a round kick and I'm just going to crouch nine times. See in the upper corner there. You see this dancing looking motherfucker. So that's me. And that's how I feel about what you just did.

Frowning face. I feel. I like it. But it should have been me. Look, now there's feet in your face. Karate oats is not pleased. Karate oats. All right.

Zach. What I want. Your toes. Put them in my mouth bitch. I'll write your round kick words. Yeah. I was going to say, if that didn't give me a D six, I don't fucking know what I'm doing. Slash off D six.

It takes three. It takes three damage. Yeah. Okay. Ignore is it. That's just part of this. You've each got 10 hit points for this. You collectively have 30, but you got to deal 10 to Jackson.

That's right. Okay. And I'll keep my matrix out. If anyone wants to use my karate champ matrix, you can. I'm not going to do it. I'm going to make sweet love to these joysticks. I'm going to use my wizardry intuition. I'm going to let the sticks speak to me and I'm going to just let them guide me and I'm

going to use. Ooh, should I use insight again for that? I'm just like an insight abusing motherfucker right now. Yeah. That seems like you're not searching for hidden video game knowledge. Right. I just want to use the rules. Okay.

Right. Give me an insight role. Okay. We'll do insight. 23. I looked all up inside that reverse and I found joystick just starts and it's a plus three. So you got a natural 20.

All right. Joystick just starts spinning around in place as you look at it disapprovingly. Buttons start mashing. That is a little guy leaps across the screen and just hammers the holy shit out of Jackson. As a matter of fact, he starts using Jackson moves and Jackson gets really freaked out about that. Is that me in there? Is that me in there, brother?

He's psychologically damaged by this. I'll give you that the fight is over with that. I think the machine just climaxed. It's the first arcade cabinet orgasm in recorded history. Put it with the rest of my records. Fastest punch knockout. Fastest. Fastest climax of a karate champ arcade cabinet.

56 miles per hour. You've got to have that one modifier that means nothing. 78 miles per hour. And it means nothing. I tell this guy, hey, if you want to see some real fighting, come check me out in the Kumite. That's what he says to you. You wouldn't believe it. What?

Not bad, kid. What? Name's Ray Jackson. You like this kind of fighting, huh? You want to see real fighting? Come see me at the Kumite. Ah, shit. I got to stop doing that.

They told me that was a secret. I told you. I told that broad over there. I told the bartender. I told that tiny lady on the bus. I told six strangers on the street. I told some real friendly dogs. I told the priest, but it's outside of a confession booth.

So I don't know if that's secret. Dumb, Jackson. Dumb, dumb. Slaps himself on the head like, duh, I'm so stupid. But he knocks himself out. Can we do the same thing for solidarity? Give me a Jackson role. How do I do that?

What is a good Jackson role? Animal. Yeah. I'm going to wear this animal handling button out. All right. My lower one of the two. Oh, wait. No, I'm supposed to do three roles.

Wait. No, you're outside the game. So just to my lowest is a seven. You take a swing and a miss at your own head. And you start to come up with a lie. I'm so good at dodging myself. Fuck. That's a good lie.

All right. Yeah, I'm going to say the blonde was watching you and then she started to scoff and then was like, oh, hey, all right. I could dodge even myself. Speaking of the only other person of interest here, there are other fighters they don't interest you. They're beneath you. The only other person of interest here is the stunning

blonde woman at the bar. You want to talk to her or just hang out with Jackson's inner body and guard him as a good friend would. Can I? Yeah, go ahead. No, you go. You go. Can I try and talk to her but make it seem like she was talking

to me first and I'm really busy? I heard women love it when you do that. Of course. I was just going to put my foot up in dress. I think yours is way better. Let's all try an opener and see what wins out. Vanessa, try yours. Oh, what?

Sorry, I just got this kumite that I got to run to. Is it important? I wasn't talking. Wait, the kumite? You know about the kumite? I've been talking to everybody here. Nobody wants to talk about the kumite. It's supposed to be a secret.

You could keep talking about the kumite all you want. Did you want something from me? All right, let's pause that and let's see. Good. This is the kind of mind games women have to deal with all the time. Yeah, that sucks. All right, let's pause that and let's roll for it. I'll give you, that was pretty good.

I'll give you an advantage and it can be a roll you're strong in, which is, let's see, let me get Francine Dukes up here. It can be, you know what? I'm going to call that an intimidation roll. That's just harassment. Hell yeah. So I'll roll intimidation twice. My first one was a 10.

Okay. My second was a 15, so we'll go with a 10. No, we're taking the 15 this time. You got it. Wait, that's right. Yeah, you rarely, you rarely, if ever get that, but you know, we should have just taken that away from you. That would have been, it'd keep.

But no, we'll do the 15. Your full power. That's your say. That's a 15 scene. Sean, let's see how putting a foot, mutely putting a foot up her dress while she's trying to talk to somebody else. Okay. I kind of want to roll a sleight of hand.

Well, we'll call it sleight of foot. Sleight of foot. Here it comes. 13. You definitely, you make it up that dress. We will have to see. I kind of have to hop on one foot a little to like maintain. How smooth is that?

I was hoping subtlety is not your strength. That's, I also was burping at the same time. That was not ideal. So she's talking to two other just obvious martial artists. They're like martial artists clothing and she's saying, you're here for the kumite, aren't you? And they go kumite. What is kumite?

Like just playing it. So dumb. They, they got to start eating nickels here. And then she goes, Jesus Christ, there's a foot in my crotch. And you got a 13. We'll put a button on that and come back to it. Zach. They think that's just a fun American expression.

They're both into it. They're like, oh, photo. Okay. Uh, Zach, uh, I got it. So because. Real quick, though, for the listeners, this was a 1989. You could meet women by putting your foot up their dress. I just want everyone.

Yes. It's a different world. This was considered light harassment, cute harassment. Yes. She tell her friends about it. She met the nicest guy at the bar. I met 25 of the nicest guys at the bar. They all put their foot up my dress.

All right. Sorry for interrupting. All right. Zach. That was good. It was relevant historical information. Gave her the proper context. Uh, like I was saying, because we look like Van Damme,

I'm going to just. Walk up to this conversation and just discreetly pull my pants down below my perfect butt cheeks. And I'm just going to insert them in between her and the other karate guys. And I'm just going to stand there without saying anything until somebody else. Just going to ease.

Just going to sneak a button to the conversation. That work on me. And it's, it's, we know. Yeah. With Van Damme's butt. It wouldn't work. I think we're going. Anything else.

You know what? I'm not going to make. Somebody roll to see if they're impressed by Van Damme's ass. Like we know how that's going to go. I will say. There is no dice. This is going to be a dexterity check. Straight up dexterity check to see if you keep your balance

enough to ease this in. Or if you're just. I feel like I should roll a misunderstanding role to see. I might. Mistake this for having to poop. So I might be pulling out an airline sickness bag and bring that up. Like I'm the terrible wingman.

Feet are. I'm doing it before he says anything else. Oh, it's not great. It's 12. So. Definitely. What does that mean? Well, Francine.

Can I. Is it too late to drop quarters off of it and just like send them shooting around and like, like to precise targets. Francine's got the in, uh, despite Sean having, having the literal in being having a toe inside of her. Uh, and. Oh, he got, he got in. Okay.

And you have been mistaken for trying to poop into a conversation. I don't. Yeah. He just totally fucking ruined my whole thing. How do you fuck up Van Damme's ass? That's. Hey.

With an airplane bag. That's it. So she's going to write the two of you off. Just I have had enough toes in me tonight. Thank you. I've, I've already got just loaded up on monostat. I'm good. Good on this.

Uh, sir, the bathroom is over there and just a kind of fantastic. Like I, that toilet should be honored to accept it. But again. It will be. Please get away from me. And now it is back to Francine Dukes who, uh, who is somehow enamored with you tricking her into thinking

that she was talking to you. She's the kumite. Huh. Yeah. I actually do need something from you. I need to know all about. You won't believe this. The kumite.

Uh, the entire time that she's been talking, can I just, uh, be locking eyes with her and flexing in different poses? Of course. Uh, JoJo style, I'm assuming. Yeah. Yeah. Big elaborate, elaborate points at her, at yourself, at, at your nipples, of course.

And, uh, give me a performance check. Let's see if you're winning or over. All right. Performance. And we're going with the higher of the two on this one. Right. Uh, no, you burned your advantage. We'll give you, we'll give you even.

Just give me one role. Uh, all right. In that case, if it's just the one role, it's 19. 19. Oh, all right. She loves it again. So lucky you look like Van Damme in 1989. She's just like, uh-huh.

Well, I really need to know about the kumite this deadly. Well, I really need to know if you're going to go out with me. Uh, I need, I'm on a job. I'm a reporter, which is, uh, the only job women are allowed to have. Uh, so it's very important to me, but you got my attention champ. Let's talk later. I need to call my boyfriend Doug Puzzle and see if he's into this

open relationship thing. The fuck is just the car salesman. Puzzle from the car commercials. Was that actually? No. For one second, I convinced myself. Doug Puzzle exists. Yes.

You don't remember Doug Puzzle. I don't remember Doug Puzzle at Puzzle's car. If you keep doing this, you're going to accept it. You're going to accept it as an actual matter. Accept it as real. You don't remember Puzzle days. You don't remember him. You don't have to solve a puzzle to get one of my cars.

And then you take the little jigsaw pieces off like his head. You just fucking, man, that would be hard. I remember being at Puzzle days. I got a frisbee. It all happened. It did. Don't look it up. That is Puzzle days.

All right. We've covered the important part. So now a small Chinese man with a much bigger Chinese man's sunglasses walks up to you with all the swagger of an aggressive Pomeranian. This is Victor Lin. He swagger's up to you and says, I'm Lin. You're that American liar, Frank Dukes. You look like an American liar.

Is that how Lin sounds? I don't remember. He sounds different. You might sound different. You can do that voice in your head if you want to. He's up. Oh, oh. How does he say that?

That would make you Frank Dukes. Oh, you're right. He does say it, Frank Dukes. You Frank Dukes. Dukes. They put up your Dukes. He says it a certain way, though. I'd like to hear it.

I'd like to hear you. You know what? I think I'd like to as well. Really, it'll really get me into this game. That's not going to happen. It'll really help me engross myself. You know what? I think if you guys could go fuck yourselves.

That's not going to happen. But I think my accents are bad enough that I could probably really try it and swing to non-offensive. Like I ended up doing the German one. They'd be like, that's fine. That's fine. It's fine to make fun of these guys. Victor Lin.

I've been assigned to help the North American Liars find their way around and make sure nobody fights outside the arena. But I've had a fucking chance, right, guys? You're probably going to murder me. Can we... Are you queuing me up? Don't murder him.

Don't murder him. I'm giving you a second to say something, but... Can we pants him? Okay. Thank God you can pants him. Thank God he's going to be so grateful. Yeah, give me a roll for that. Give me a sleight of hand roll.

That's a pantsing. First one is 19. Second one. You're back on disadvantage. Second one is 11. 11. You do pants him, but you don't get the underwear. Because, haha, guys.

Fourth pantsing today by all the martial artists I've taken to the arena. You didn't get my dick out. What is his amateur hour? While he's berating us, I'm just going to, like, sit there with a smirk on my face, and I'm going to point down at his pants, and he's going to be wearing different pants.

Nice. What do I wear? And have a different penis. Give me another sleight of hand roll. Two and Sean, you give me a sleight of hand roll to see off this penis. 14 is pretty good. You swapped pants.

Eight. I only rolled an eight for replacing his penis. I think we're just awkwardly holding someone else's penis. Yeah, I think we have a banana that we've shoved up his butt. And we have a different man's penis. And we have a different man's penis in our hands. Smart, smart, bring in a spare penis because I'm going to tell you,

in Kowloon, Walt City, where I'm taking you, it's not for outsiders. Run down a piece of No Man's Land, the middle of tourist paradise. You've got to protect your nuts. I guess your penis, too. You're right. This is good visual. Thank you.

That's a good discovery. Good job, Victor. He takes you? My Shidochi Tanaka taught me how to put a banana up a butt like that. Swap out a penis for another penis instantly before that person. And Mrs. Tanaka always told me to carry my penis.

But that was just for fun. He takes you? Hold on. I just thought about Mrs. Tanaka. I'm going to roll a nature roll to resist this boner. A seven. The penis you're holding gets the boner instead.

Nice. It works, huh? All right. So Lynn takes you? What is this penis magic? We're onto the magic penises. Somebody add the magic penis to your inventory. You clearly have this now. This is interactive storytelling,

so you're doing this to yourself. You're going to have to sign this together. Add custom item. Oh, we have stolen Valor, too. We've got some stolen Valor, some inherent cronos damage. You should have... Magic penis of unknown...

Somebody's got the skin of a war hero. I think Sean's got the skin, too. He's got all the fun parts. Ooh, yeah, that's a good one. A lot of this is going to have to come in handy, or we're bad storytellers. I have a flawless veteran skeleton. Magic penis of unknown trigger.

We've got the whole skeleton, too. I forgot about it. Valor. And of course, the veteran skin. Okay. Lynn takes you to what looks like one super huge building that got cancer. Just several blocks of randomly mutating project. Apartments all grown together and fused into one malignant mass.

He starts bringing you through it. And give me... Give me an animal handling role from everybody. We're really... Yeah, we're wearing this bitch out. Oh, I'm getting... Yeah, apparently my animal handling is getting tired. That's good with oxen.

I'm not great with, like, alley rats. Yeah, nobody budgets into... Nobody budgets into fucking animal handling, but now you mistake it. Nine, that's with two rolls. With two rolls is nine. Well, here's the sad thing is I did budget into it because it's a wisdom class,

but I just cannot roll high on this one. I'm a 17 with wisdom. Fucking expert hog wrangler over here. Yeah, I just can't... It's performance. John, give me an animal handling role. I did, I rolled a three. Showing up.

Oh, yeah, I just missed it. I did, yeah. Okay. Yeah, a small Chinese man pops out of a garbage can and hits you all directly in the nuts. You were warned. We didn't guard our nuts. Do not guard your nuts.

I told you to guard your nuts. Protect your nuts, guys. You know what Lynn's saying that? He says, hey, I told you, protect your nuts, guys. Number one rule. Okay. You got to protect your nuts.

It's number one through 17 in Kowloon City. That's why I tell everybody to protect their nuts. Some people think I'm being metaphorical. I don't know what that word means. Protect your nuts. And I'm going to need you to remember that. Mark, remember to protect my nuts every time you're in Kowloon Wall City.

Can I monkey grab the peach? He's already gone. This is all I wanted to do. This is like a hobby. Shit. It's like sharking in Kowloon Wall City. It's not punching. I'm just grasping it air then.

All right. And you waddle holding your crotches down to the end of an alleyway where triad guards stop you. One looks kind of like ancient Chinese tried to bootleg lurch. And he, bring this up. Give me one second. I mean, it's not like you need this, but you probably want it.

There you go. Oh, yeah. There you go. I literally have a shirt of this screenshot. Oh, fuck yeah. All right. And Lynn says, OK, this guy loves Americans. Just do something American.

And I promise he'll let you buy. So let me roll here. I don the veteran skin. It is not. He would love an American soldier in the skin. You know, I was going to run. But OK, that's a bold opening move. We will call that.

What are you good at? I want to give you advantage for that. I'm good at deception, intimidation. That's for sure deception. That's closest to a stolen Valor roll we have. Give me a stolen Valor roll. Here's a stolen Valor roll. 15.

Very good roll. All right. Let's hold that. I am USA soldier. He just kind of regards you quietly, waiting to see what the others do. So let's get Zach and Vanessa. Deception.

It's up to you. What are you going to do that's American? This guy loves Americans. You just got to show him something American. All right. Show him something American. All right. I'm going to put a loaded gun in my mouth.

I'm not going to pull the trigger. I'm just going to put it there and like talk to him around it. Because I really love it so much. Are you going to like suck off the gun a little bit? Is that what we're going for? Yeah. I'm going to give the gun the gun back to 3,000. All right.

Let's get a grapefruit. Let's get. I'm going to say a performance. You haven't seen that before. All right. First one is 18. So I think it was 26. So I rolled 18 on and I'm like,

I've like stuck a finger in the back. Like I'm giving this. I'm really giving it to this gun. You're stimulating. I love this gun so God damn much. Which as we all know is the trigger. The prostate of the gun is the trigger. Right.

Oh wait. No, it's the, it would be the hammer. I'm sorry. Yeah. Yeah. You just pull that hammer back. Yeah. The dick of the gun would be the trigger.

Prostate would be the hammer. That was foolish of me. I'm glad we got that settled. All right. So you're an 18. Zach, show me something American. Okay. I am going to pull a hot dog out of his nose using my

sleight of hand. Very American. Okay. Tell me a little bit about this hot dog. It's not as gruesome. Well, it's fully cooked. Oddly enough and ready to eat. And it's free of dog puzzles, puzzle days.

Here's the topper. My buns are going to be the buns. I'm just going to put the hot dog right there. I'm going to nestle it into my buns and we turn around. I'm going to squeeze it. Creating a perfectly tantalizing dinner setting. You're going to have to give me. I mean, you're doing tricks with the dog.

Right. Oh, animal handling. Here's this one's for the money. What does he do with that hot dog that's between my glistening, perfect cheeks? He turns to each of you. Each of you get your turn and his attention. And he goes, give me the line.

Everybody give me a line. Okay. And a huge thumbs up. And he's instantly your favorite character that you've met. I guess in your life so far. Pretty easily. Yeah. Okay.

What's that? Yeah. I have another blood sport t-shirt that just has Ray Jackson pointing and it says, I ain't your pal. Dick face. I'm going to keep this hot dog between my. Oh, no. He takes the hot dog gingerly with both teeth and withdraws

it looking just really honored the whole time. He doesn't eat it, but he gently tucks it in his, in his weird like silk vest pocket for later. Like scar. He's going to hold on to that one. It's like a 1978 Han Solo Halloween costume. Yeah. With that cheap.

Yeah. That cheap Halloween costume material. The kind where you would have to wear a bib with the picture of Han Solo on the front so that people would get it. Yep. All right. You march through more of the narrow corridors, black and forever wet, full of mysterious babies crying from

impossible places. Is it in the ground? What the fuck? All around you rats chirp their beautiful rat songs deeper and deeper through the twisting labyrinth and then you emerge into a beautiful open space with a lovely columned doorway that opens onto a massive ancient Chinese dojo slash arena, all polished wood and plush carpets at odds with this

dismal surrounding before you stands a mighty registration table. An ancient and mystical registration thing. It seems a little. Just a mystical. It seems a little. Just a mystical. It seems a little anticlimactic to have a registration table in

this secret hidden temple, but that's what happens. So behind it, a bearded guy looking like a karate hipster, circa 2007, gives your invitation back and says, it says he is Tanaka clan that sends out Tanaka is his Shidochi. He doesn't look like an Anaka clan to which Lynn says, who cares? Bruce Springsteen is his Shidochi. I like the sign.

What's the deal of John Cougar Mellon camp himself is his Shidochi? Why does it matter if the whole steady is his Shidochi? What is the deal with Shidochi? If I go one go, it's his Shidochi man. There he is. Somebody roll for Lynn. He's getting, he's getting really good here.

Somebody roll persuasion for Lynn. All right. I got it. I think Dennis Miller himself should roll it. 19 prescriptions. All right. He's going to get two of you. The HF consented a Miami October fest.

He's going to get two of you out of the following scene by just being by doing 18 different impressions. It doesn't matter who the Shidochi is. Yeah. Who else we got? That's it. That's it. Who cares if his Shidochi is Theo?

Cut now. Cut now. Okay. So he demands to be shown the dim Mock. Two of you are out of this and that means you three get to pick whoever does. Whoever shows this dim Mock. Who do you think is going to be best?

That feels like a karate shit. That's my whole thing. Yeah. I feel like I got this. If you want to do the splits while you're doing the dim Mock, I can help you. You'll back me up on that. All right.

Just give me that. You can each support what he does. Yeah. I would like to take those two feet and put them on two fold out chairs. Next to the table. Fantastic. Doing a very painful splits.

Vanessa, anything you want to do to augment this dim Mock? Another 19. So what? He got it. Zach got a 19 to do this weird splits. Oh my God. Oh, no. That's.

Oh yeah. That was, yeah. That was my feet rolled that. So that was. That was a shot. I haven't rolled for dim Mock yet. To assist it. I'm going to give a really warm and loving credit card up his

cheeks. While he's doing the splits. Yeah. Get that hot dog oil out of there. Yeah. All right. So he takes you over to a pile of bricks. This, this hipster.

And now it's time to show this fucking lumbar sexual. The fucking dim Mock ain't something that costs 9.95 at Panda Express. Am I right? Yeah. Yeah. And you won't do the voice, but you'll do that. Okay.

We see. All right. Now you're going to pick a number. Zach one through four. One through four. Taking three. All right. Your range is 11 to 15.

So he, there are 20 bricks and he, he says, no, not these. And then he points to 11 through 15 bricks and says these. Okay. So now give me, you know what you, you've got two people out of it. Give me three roles. One for each of you. Each of you.

Give me a role straight up D 20 trying to hit 11 through 15. All right. Just a D 20. I did animal handling because I have a plus the D 20. No, that's not it. All right. My first one is seven. Can't do any worse than that.

Okay. Got a seven. Got a six. Sean. Sean. Sean. Sean. Sean.

Sean. Sean. Sean. Sean. Sean. Out of all those numbers. I rolled a 17. 17.

All outside of the 11 to 15 range. You fuck up and accidentally destroy all of the bricks. Every single one. Still pretty. All 20. And he starts to give you shit. But yeah, Lynn says, come on, that 20 bricks is pretty bad ass. Who cares?

That's like this. Oh, I'm not going to start. Yeah. They don't make anyone else do this shit. Right. Jackson's just some random Sasquatch. However, you do not come into this competition having impressed everybody around in a weirdly specific way by destroying one specific brick.

Right. All right. You three wander off. You're allowed into the competition on kind of a down note, but you wander off your work done. And yet we, the audience stay here to watch a Chinese janitor sidle up. He's acting skittish. He checks left.

He checks right. He feigns sweeping up the bricks. And only when he's sure nobody is looking, he grabs a piece. He bites it. His eyes go wide. It's real. It's real brick. It's real brick.

He pockets it for later and scurries away. It's weird. We saw that for a member. You rolled for it. You guys got a 22. He's 22 important. It's a good callback. Yeah.

I hope that pays off. That guy's personality trait. I asked him if he would like to credit card swipe me with a brick just for just for the posterity. Give me a persuasion roll. Yay. 21. 21.

Yeah. He accepts. He accepts. And it's just like, just like, Yeah. You want to put that rock between who too hard leases. That's lying for it. And he does.

He scrapes a piece of brick through your ass crack. And it's, it's horrible. It's a bad texture. It scrapes up your butt, your buttocks. But, uh, but it made his fucking day. I mean, I'm willing to bet that we're gonna get smoother now. I rolled a 14 to cure his hemorrhoids.

Medicine. All right. You've, you, yep. You did that. It will bring healing factor. I stuck a foot up my butt with lotion on it. To care of it. All right.

I like how Zach is mostly the but this adventure. This whole, yeah, Michael whole karate shambles. I didn't expect to be so butt focused. But here we are. You didn't hold on. If it works, you were playing John Claude Van Damme in a movie and you did not expect it to be butt focused. That's on you.

I don't think he expected the, the, the mystical guy to take that one. Why would you call that ass if not mystical? One, nine, one, nine, one, nine, one, nine, one, nine, one, nine, one, nine, one, nine, one, nine, one, nine, one, nine, one, nine, one, nine, one, nine, one, nine, one, nine, one, nine, one, nine, one, nine, one, nine, one, nine, one, nine, one, nine, one, nine, one, nine, one, nine, one, nine, one, nine, one, nine, one, nine, one, nine, one, nine, one, nine, one, nine, one, nine, one, nine, one, nine, one, nine, one, nine, one, nine, one, nine, one, nine, one, nine, one, nine, one, nine, one, nine, one, nine, one, nine, one, nine, one, nine, one, nine, one, nine, one, nine, one, nine, one, nine, one There has been too much violence too much pain none here without sin but I have an honorable compromise. Just walk away. Give me your artifacts, hot dog Supremes. Give me your sexy sci-fi photo shoots, your horrifying secret comics, and the whole untubed sausage compound, and I spare your lives. Just walk away. I will give you safe passage in the wasteland. Just walk away, and there will

be an end to the horror. Three-finger Louis. Put down your boomerang and go. Aaron Crossden. Adrian H. Aiden Muah. Alpha scientist Javo. Just walk away. UnAndy. Is your heat cliff truly worth dying for? Just walk away. Andreas Larsen. You could live. You could have children. You could eat them. Just walk away. Armando Nava. Badger. Benjamin Sironin. There are so many dogs in the wasteland. You could pet them all. Just walk away. Bim Talzer. Brandon Garlock. Brian Zayla. Brian Whitney. You would be a champion in the Thunderdome. Just walk away. Brockway loves the meat milling. Burrito mouth.

Cerell. Rev. Look at this sweet dune buggy Rev. You can have it. Just walk away. Chance McDermott. Look at that sweet dune buggy. You can still catch Rev and take it. Just walk away. Chris Brower. Curious glare. Dan B. Devon the rogue supreme. I know a place with all the dog food you can eat. Just walk away. Dean Costello. Donald Finney. Dr. Awkward. Eric Spalding. My war party is badly in need of gimp's. Do you have a gimp resume? Just walk away. Fancy shark. Jella Ho. Greg Gunningham. Ham mode. Haraka. You up. Haraka's already gone. Good job Haraka. See he walked away. Harvey Penguini. There are two mannequins over that hill. Both girls. You could make

them kiss. Just walk away. Hart Fart. Jaber Al Aiden. Jeff Orasky. John Dean your battle wagon is mighty. Everyone respects a radio flyer in the wasteland. Just roll away. John Hector McFarland. John Minkoff. Josh Fabian. Joshua Graves. It would be a shame to destroy that mullet. Just walk away. Josh S. Ken Paisley. If you go, I will give you Joshua Graves' mullet. Just walk away. K&M. M. Jaheechatelle. Mac Miserable. Do you want to be stripped naked and strapped to my war chariot? If not, just walk away. If so, just walk away. We can work it out. Matt Riley. Max Baroi. Michael Lair. Michael Wells. Just hop away. I am sorry we ate your leg.

You can still hop away. Mickey Lohman. Mike Stiles. Mojoo. Indeed. Neil Bailey, the wasteland, needs lovers. Just walk away. Neil Shafer. Nick Ralston. Ozzie Olin. Have you seen Barter Town? They have pig races there. It's adorable. Just walk away. Patrick Herbst. Rain Vargas. Rhiannon. Sarkovsky. Sean Chase. Spotty reception. You don't have to die like your father. Butt naked and upside down in a catapult. Just walk away. Supernaught. Ted H. Thomas Cavazos. Life is precious and the dead cannot whip. They cannot name a. Just walk away. Timmy Lehi. Toasty God. Tom Sakuula. Tommy. Waylon Russell. We all read your poetry out here. Everyone, we all read it, right? It's like really good. It makes us feel ways about rivers

and old broken guitars and stuff. Just walk away. You're Sarian. Just walk away. We hate to see you leave, but we love to watch you just walk away. I await your answer. You have a full day to decide. You will be safe in the wasteland. Except for you, John McCammon. You're so fucking dead, John McCammon. Oh my god, John McCammon. You're fucked, John McCammon. You can try to walk away. It will not work. You're so fucking dead.