The Dogg Zzone by 1900HOTDOG - Dogg Zzone 9000 - Episode 124, Monster Wars with Napoleon Blownapart

Episode Date: May 24, 2023

Seanbaby and Brockway are joined by guest, Napoleon Blownapart, to talk Monster Wars, the 1993 TV show about monster truck racing where all the monster trucks became wrestlers and made pun based wishes to destroy each other's private truck dimensions. That's real, it's a real thing. It's Monster Wars Week!

1-900 HOT DOG 1-900 HOT DOG Our podcast slams with maximum hype Say HOT DOG podcast word Yeah When you taste that nitrate power You're in the dog zone for an hour Come on

You know the number 1-900 1-900 HOT DOG 1-900 HOT DOG 1-900 1-900 HOT DOG 1-900 HOT DOG 1-900 HOT DOG

Yeah 9000 Welcome to the Dogs Zone 9000 The official podcast for 1-900HOTDOG.com We're the final website combining words and pictures to make jokes Support us on Patreon to preserve this rare

and beautiful art form Word Jokes. It's Patreon.com 1-900 HOT DOG We have an all-star cast of columnists, new articles every day, and I think that's enough plugging I'm the Internet's Sean Baby from the web and my partner was voted YES by readers of Wood U Magazine

He's Robert Brockway I'm Robert Brockway, here's a Brockway fact I actually used to write for a monster truck magazine, but they fired me for being too monster truck No follow-up questions You're right, I wouldn't have any anyway Today is a YouTuber who makes extremely

detailed hilarity dense documentaries about MMA, Napoleon blown apart Hello, thank you for having me It's so good to have you. I love your videos just right off the top I think they're a lot of fun I'm pretty sure some people

would say that I am basically a Sean Baby clone a lower tier Sean Baby clone from my style of writing and whatnot It's an honor to be on the show I was reading yourself back when you were on OneOp.com

That's a long time ago Would you like to plug something? Just my channel, I guess if I can If you enjoy low rent Sean Baby knockoffs come on down to Napoleon

blown apart's channel where I've been ripping off his work for the last several years You mean that in a nice way That's a very nice topic that you say that Your stuff is honestly if it wasn't for your articles I don't think I would have ever gotten into writing these videos

The first time I ever even heard of Powerstar or not Powerstar, X-Arm was in a Sean Baby article way back in the day If I could spread the message of X-Arm that's all I ever really wanted We do share something in common, we both appreciate a lot of the insane early MMA stuff and I did

take a clip that I know you'll find familiar our listeners, they'll love it This is the greatest fight promotion of all time Do you already know what this is? Greatest fight promotion of all time? I mean, could it be Power Slap? I don't know It's not Power Slap

I should say promo, not promotion Now I know what it is Here we go This is the great Jeff Monson The snowman Jeff Monson here Watch people get fucked for free Watch me fuck up Mark Kerr for free

on DonKingTV.com Live Saturday September 27th, 9pm Eastern Time DonKingTV.com I'm gonna fuck him up I'm gonna put these hands right around his face and beat his abs

You watch us live for free DonKingTV.com I just wanna thank Jeff Every time you hear it What was that for? He wanted to fuck some dude named Mark and they wanted people to watch clearly

and it did not go well Wait, did they actually run that? Is that like a blooper? That was the promo for DonKingTV MMA Promotion Jeff Monson, Mark Kerr, they were both big names in MMA at the time and I think he probably meant

do you wanna watch people get fucked up for free? Yeah Probably We kind of still know what he meant but it's also like why didn't we do a second tape Because Monson, the snowman does one take

He's all like coked out shirtless and some like green screen so good I'm gonna wrap my hands around his face I wanna see how you wrap your hands around someone's face that's gotta be

a move that hasn't been seen in MMA before It's like a twister or something When people finally do see it they're gonna be like holy shit That's how you wrap your hands around someone's face Welcome to the face grab era I picture

Shaq palming a basketball but like somebody's head It's dunking someone's head is what I picture when you say that I have a lot of stuff with this video I have a video that translates a Deaf sign language into

karate and one of the moves is you grab them by the face and throw them into the ground because the way I say monster in sign language it says you are a monster you don't really do the you are which is a point in a little r from your chin but then you do like a double face grab and then one of your hands

you put his face in it anyway it works I've tested it and Deaf people when you beat them up know exactly what you're calling them We can cut all this we're gonna do a little clap cut that gonna be a lot of those claps yeah it might happen a lot

we're making a running joke out of that alright note it Marshall signing is what's called sign language karate I'm gonna keep talking about it so we can't cut it you gotta keep talking about it even though that guy begged you not to that's right we got an actual

email from that guy asking us to take it down not because we're making fun of him but because he was associated with another guy I'm sure you know Napoleon George Dilman oh he doesn't know the Dilman at this point the great Dilman because that guy obviously

is sort of a disgraced karate grifter he thinks you can knock people out by touching them and you can't disgraced is kind of putting it mildly I would say like that guy is just fucking laughing stockily this bears repeating though let's really bear down on this

the guy that invented sign language karate doesn't want to be associated with somebody because they're too embarrassing and there's no question that he's right like he's exactly right yes he's completely right but I actually feel kind of added to loop here

I've missed this whole sign language karate thing it was yeah just kind of a DVD I bought like probably 10 years ago and like just couldn't believe it I was like this is a joke but then I like looked him up I'm like he's real but then I'm like it's such a delicate thing to be like I'm gonna make fun of this dude sign language karate

it's like that is so so ableist on paper right I'm like I gotta fucking I gotta nail these jokes I did not really offended the guy who made it but again not for the reason that he should have been offended he should have been like dude I can't fucking hear how dare you but he's like no I do get my fucking name off there

people are gonna know I know the magic karate guy it's the most elaborate but vicious burn to George Dilman it takes it takes years and several people's entire lives to set up that burn and it lands perfectly there's levels to that burn God when that reaches

him it's just gonna refurbrate this soul if he's still alive I mean it's still alive probably like touched himself wrong at one point you can't even when your hands kill people by touching you can't jerk off you can't eat you have to be real careful when you're doing that

you did a video about make believe martial arts I really liked and so I'm sure you've been sued by Frank Dukes just like us I am I'm actually working on a Dukes video at the moment when I say working it's in my head I haven't actually done it yet

well that's the process I mean it works for me like I was reading this book I got a copy of The Secret Man and it's so so bad do you think it's all true I would say it's roughly 95%

bullshit like he was like apparently he was recruited into the CIA when he was 19 they just randomly picked this 19 year old who had been through the Marines and everything at age 19 and he's like

super respected in the military so the CIA comes to recruit him I was reading the chapter of it yesterday he meets this the CIA, the head of the CIA meets him in a bathroom the CIA guy is like just firing off all these

did he check his ID? is a guy in a bathroom claiming to be CIA? I mean he didn't say but like you know CIA guys they probably don't have to whip out the ID because it's just like the fingers are already in you but they're like hey I'm at the CIA this is okay

this is totally normal recruiting but like the CIA guy is like busting out like every two sandons he's like you know I need a ghost I need a zombie I need a chicken wrangler I need an ant farmer

I need someone who's so outside he's on the inside he's underground all this kind of hilarious shit it just keeps going I'm like how many epithets for like a secret man can this guy come up with dude what are you doing?

I'm trying to think if I've ever met anyone like I think if you went up to any 19 year old and said like here's what I need I need a man who can blend into the shadows I need an astronaut who can eat hot dogs with his ass and you're like okay yes we're talking about me this is me I've been training for that my whole life

have you gotten to the part where he barters trophy swords for the lives of hostages? no I think I've heard that that's a good one we can't make fun of him though because people will die

that's my favorite spin on the modern Frank Dukes he gets real emotional when he talks about people making fun of him because like lives are on the line they're pushing hostages and they find jokes about him on the internet then they fucking kill the families and that's your fault you no longer respect him

when you make jokes on his own this is not a Frank Dukes podcast I hate to disappoint everyone but I'm going to make you happy again because we're talking about the United States Hot Rod Association's Monster Wars we watched episode 3 because Brockway said it was funniest

I have to imagine this right because it was fucking incredible Napoleon do you want to try to explain the show do you even get monster trucks over in Ireland? I don't think it's possible to explain monster trucks to an Irish man watching that show

I was like in 1993 I came out if you showed this to anybody in Ireland in 1993 they would be like why are these people ruining perfectly good cars haven't they ever lived through famines in America? you're just throwing good cars away

crushing them for fun you immediately saw as a symbol of American excess yes disgusting excess and I loved every second of it and by that do you mean patriotism? I assume if you were going to call it that

I do so you hate us because you're jealous of our monster trucks we get it we get it that's why we made the show so would you not like to try to explain it? you can pass because it is impossible I think probably my favorite thing

like I can't explain it but I do have a good story about it so I got the email from you you were like do you want to come on the podcast I was like fuck yes I assumed it would be something about Frank Dukes or whatever which we did but I thought the whole podcast was going to be about

that kind of stuff and then you sent me the email and I was like we're going to talk about monster trucks and I'm like what? do I know about monster trucks? and I turned to my wife and I was like do you want me to talk about monster trucks? and she just looks me in the eye and goes grave nigger

she gets it what the shit and then she's texting me and work all day today and she's like you know Bigfoot was like the OG monster truck and I'm like have I married the fucking monster truck encyclopedia? how do you know so much about this stuff?

this is all a prank set up by your wife in your soul it just crawls in there but no I mean to explain it I would have to say it is kind of a cross between the best bits of WWE that being

the promos and monster trucks you can mash those two things together that's monster trucks it is truly an impossible ask and it was unfair of you to do so Sean I had time to prepare this

I believe well this was given to us from Mo and the Discord who is wonderful and beautiful and an encyclopedia of things that should not be thanks Bo I believe the best way to describe this would be if you understand it

it's like it's like a wrestling league made up of turbo teens if every single member of the WWF back in the day was a turbo teen that's what this would be which is like a transformer but flesh

yes so there's there's layers of abstraction here and if you don't understand that it's like bringing back memories monsterist memories that had to be in 1993 that had to be what they were referencing

because the premise of this is that it's real monster truck racing right it's the actual US HRA sanctioned monster truck races so this is the event they go all across the country they have like a bracket they keep points it's an actual championship

they're real races they're not scripted what are they worth what are they real races let's be real here well they last 5 seconds and it's mostly about who bounces right? I think we could safely say they're not

if they were it would be pointless it would be amazing if you could fix something that chaotic and pointless I don't think it could be done but I guess they had flagging viewership or something because it takes 20 minutes to set up and it's extremely fucking boring

so what they did was they hired professional well actors acting like professional wrestlers to dress up in character as the human version of each monster truck and they still have the drivers in everything

so they interview drivers of these monster trucks and then they'll cut to a little like a short film of them of the monster trucks avatar on earth trash talking the other monster truck

I have to say I was genuinely and bitterly disappointed to find out that the guys playing the monster trucks weren't actually the ones driving the monster trucks one of the biggest disappointments imagine if they ate and discovered that like you would be on suicide watch

but they don't even try to hide that I assumed just hearing about this before watching any other videos I assumed this was going to be like they wouldn't show the drivers or they would be like tinted windows or something and then these would be the drivers in a kind of a mask

situation but no they are turbo-teening into wrestlers to record packages and hillbillies also get inside of them and drive them I guess is the evil the drivers all look like grandfathers as well like they're all like wearing like bi-focals

like fucking like whizzing old men hobbling out to their gravediggers and shit this is another point so when I say they get avatars the monster trucks get avatars

it's very clear not every driver agreed to this so only about a third of the trucks get characters and the other ones don't want to play so they just don't get characters where

a character will be trash talking to a monster truck that does not have an avatar so now it's a man dressed like Skeletor yelling at an actual truck who has no comment because he's a truck okay so suddenly the ending of the show makes so much more sense because I was like

why isn't the other truck talking shit back to this guy you're just going to sit there and take that you would think they would opt out right like you only get to trash talk if your other truck has a character no they'll sit there and trash talk to a truck that can't talk back it's

cowardly punching down when they interview the actual drivers it's almost exactly what you'd expect they're like you're here like a troubled monster suspension I can tell and I check and jump there check my okay and there I'll go back to my crew and we'll do 100% I guarantee it

next time we do our best and it's just like I think after a few of those they're like Skeletor you know who I wish this guy was fucking Skeletor I wish he was Sergeant Slaughter instead of this guy

and they were right they were fucking right get the powers of the beast man so this is the premise of the entire show it's Monster Wars 1992 I think is when it started it's impossible to track which episodes are which and how many

it's one of those artifacts that is just scattered across time in history we think we we have got episode three right here that we're talking about today I think so we're doing an entire theme week on the site about it so we will have already done a collective article between me and Sean

covering parts one and two leading up to this so it'll make sense to everybody not in this podcast everybody in this podcast only has three except for me to go off of so I'm so happy I just want to interrupt to say I'm so happy that we started

a media company that just does a Monster Wars week as it makes me so happy that this is the life I've chosen for myself it's the new shark week absolutely we saw it and we were like before we even watched all the episodes we were like well this is a week right

yeah I didn't fucking watch the video we got to reexperts the material it's monsters, monster trucks turn into men and then scream at each other that's our week and we furthermore assigned that to other writers it's not just us so we contacted

our employees and we're like we would like you to write about monster truck men they're like what the fuck how many of them resigned after that they loved it because we've hired the right people exactly the show opens with god I don't even know

who this truck is the exact one I think is Andrew Benarski who most people would recognize from he was Zange from the street fighter movie he was the dumb guy in Hudson Hawk he's the dumb guy in most football movies but I'm not sure because he is not on his IMDb but to be fair only three of the truck

men were listed on the IMDb but he's wearing a yellow sleeveless t-shirt with a homemade Batman logo on it also a chef hat also a Dracula cake red bracers, he's got a witch nose kabuki eye makeup and a wig that was made from the scalp of Hulk Hogan's corpse

this is for the job you want not your job you have this has been a monster wars fashion check I'm the place intro I love it oh I'm not in the running this week I'll return soon enough in the meantime

cooking's got me occupied I call this the monster mash first I add a little predator ha ha ha get in there Ben you're just ghost of course why don't you think I came up with this

ha Ben then I just add a ton of great gamer just a cat carry it up a little bit I'll show you I'll show you

stirring music just aids at the suspense mm-hmm what's gonna happen now that's what I call finger looking good mm-hmm ha ha end of sketch hi everyone

I'm Luan Lee and welcome to monster wars I left in the full intro for the viewers at home listeners he didn't make anything he just and then he threw in three of his monster truck

opponents and then cooked them to make nothing like the standard trope of you know when you're like a marriage takes one part compassion and two parts being too grumpy to fuck and three I don't know I don't know what but then you get to a thing in the structure of this where you

make a thing and you say a punchline or a conclusion of some kind and you don't just look to the camera and go that's good I can add some context to this there's never going to be enough there's not enough

context in the world like as a finite resource but what I like what up why I said episode three has to be the podcast and the reason that you guys go in is that they started doing I

think two more levels of abstraction throughout this episode to start they were just their character right which was already it was already a lot that your monster truck okay but you're also a guy also has a theme like you're not just a monster

truck guy you're a construction worker or something now now add chef so this exactly so this is first blood the monster truck and he they open the show with him because he's not in the show which is a bold decision of course his

truck his truck took some sort of damage and could no longer compete in this show but they still wanted him in there I guess because he rules he's a muscle vampire which we've dealt with before on this show we know how to deal with a muscle Dracula

he's a muscle Dracula that's his show first blood it sounds like a fetish to be honest a muscle Dracula we know very well what that fetish is from world world bodybuilding federation was it Aaron Baker no that was a chip

anyway you become a muscle director you get bit by Alastor over him or something exactly he thinks you're a horse he takes a big bite at you so for this show he's also now a chef for this kid he's not permanently

a chef that's not like in his other characters this is the first time you're seeing him as a chef but he will be a chef for the rest of this show so it's the cold open of the show is like an amateur wrestler also a monster truck that monster truck is a vampire with a lisp

and now he's a chef in a cooking hat doing a sketch right away cold open here's what you get kids yes not a cheap get this isn't just some local wrestling job this is a guy who appeared in

AAA budget films AAA Hudson Hawk probably cost $180 million I was taking a street fighter to movie there's no fucking way that was AAA I feel like Julius probably

they make a little drool play I think they dump some money to street fighter movie we could look it up but that's what I'm saying is like this is not just some completely random dude this is a guy with connections and an agent and car payments yes

I also love that the first words on the show is this guy going I'm not in the running this week which is just like if you wanted to demonstrate the frivolousness of something first you make it monster truck racing and then you add all the wrestling and then you introduce it with a man in a Halloween costume going I'm irrelevant

I'm still like none of this games anything how are you going to crush people's dreams or hopes like that you know you see this vampire muscle vampire in his chef's hat and you're like this is the guy I want to watch crush all their cars and then he tells you immediately I'm not in the running this week

dude don't look at me forget about this I do love it my note said he looks like a 5 year old dressing himself for the first time because his dad is too drunk he's doing a fire marshal bill impersonation if people remember that character that was a Jim character

character on a living color I think he took the best parts of that and made Ace Ventura but he's not doing something inspired by that character he's just doing fire marshal as a vampire as a vampire monster truck I would argue that's

like the he looks vaguely like the lead singer from Grim Reaper as well if you know that mountain I don't but if you have never you've never heard rock you to hell you need to see

rock you to hell trust me are they also monster trucks they may well be in their spare time I only want to listen to monster trucks so now I guess the show is running

after all that there's a leaderboard barefoot is leading over Grave Digger and Carolina Crusher and like there's real stakes because I'm not sure if both of you guys caught this but the winner gets 50 smackaroos which is specifically

not $50,000 and I'm not sure if that means something because they never specifically say the winner gets $50,000 there was another reference to money that was not a specific number yeah they don't want to promise

too much and monster truck drivers as evidenced by them being willing to make their monster trucks into men for these sketches they don't have a lot of questions when you tell them something that sounds good all right

sure they do throw to a package eventually where they interview a guy and it does not seem like he's living the high life he's like yeah I have built this monster truck with the last of our savings and I have a towing company and my wife doesn't feed me some days

because this guy's miserable life but he just loves these giant trucks just a passion for monster trucks cannot be sated and you believe they did an entire package in this episode

of just like how sad that guy's life is specifically about how he rolled over and everybody had fun and everybody loved it but it cost him $3,000 and he can't afford that so he has to auction off pieces of his truck and go back to work as

a tow truck driver it's very sad it's insane that they included that as their highlight it's more insane that they included that as the highlight in every single episode we do like a behind the music or something for monster trucks

where they follow the sad stories of all the monster truck drivers auctioning off their trucks piece by piece to make ends meet absolutely did it in every single episode these trucks are alive you have to remember so auctioning off those pieces like they can scream they can feel pain

that is established when a truck crashes as like we've established it right up front the lore is important here with first blood so he can't compete therefore his wrestler is also like laid out so yeah the damage carries over from

truck to man and I'm assuming vice versa so yeah you have to sell parts of that man just to just to make the next it's really fucked up what you've established here oh Jesus Christ that explains why this car door I bought on ebay

turned into a human penis the door the door is the penis of course also I have a human penis honey it's the car door I bought so the host lady is a former playboy playmate

and she's about as sincere as you'd expect from a new model ask to read a list of monster trucks the epitome of mid 90s beauty though you've got to give it beautiful like Peggy Bundy, Beehive, Hairdew oh yeah just so much cleavage almost

like an unappealing way just sort of like my shirt doesn't fit right sorry like yeah she's dressed what it's insane that she's dressed in like this black lace sort of dress it's almost like sexy funeral like sexy Florida funeral it fits with the theme

you know sexy funerals grave digger skeletor it's a it's a goth this is the first this is where goth's come from that's how we invented him started out as monster trucks not a lot of people know that that we also okay we have Luan Lee who is the host

we also have Jim Davidson who is he's a real rad dude who is by definition a rad dude he's just his personality is California and as evidence of that he would later go on to star in the show Pacific blue

which was just about being super California about cops being super California he's what was it TC he's the officer from that here he's just being just being real real California and real oblivious

of the words that he says Sean I sent you a clip I think we might have to we've crowded this so much we were only allowed 10 clips on a sound board what's the clip called Apple it's called bad boys okay so we're going to have to like

delete clips that we use we're coming to you from the Colorado State Fairgrounds and we're going to show you the big bad boys from underneath them on top of them behind them all around the week he does it if that went places that's his job is to say things like that

throughout the show and to never realize it there's a part later on I don't know maybe you've already cut it cute up on the sound board where a guy says something like I love seeing two South Carolina guys going at it or something like that I don't even notice that

that's just a normal thing when you're in the Carolinas watching guys go at it is just a real pleasure do you like what people get for free so yeah this Dan Cortez dude they have a clip where he like gets into an old car

and they have a monster truck jump over the car now guys I think how they did this trick is that he got in the car right and then they put the camera somewhere else and he got out of the car now listen listen here's what I think they did after that they jumped the car and then is the tricky part he got

back in and was like I was in that car the whole time it's called Hollywood magic and once you see it you'll see it everywhere that speaks to the quality of the sketches that they will do and probably the reason they have to throw

to long sad packages of the despair of Oklahoma truck drivers this is like why that's it I got that one sketch in me we need to fill like 8 minutes of despair it's like a country music song titled the loneliness

of the monster truck driver who had to sell his car penis over the floor the classic country country lyrics oh fuck you imagine listening to a country song and all of a sudden the guys are talking about

his penis door barefoot versus predator and predator his truckman he's got ultimate warrior face paint but he's kind of a snake and in this episode he's also like a guy in a study reading books

like an academic so he's a monster truck he's really a cat actually he's supposed to be a cat I forgive you for getting confused because he frequently gets confused about it I also uploaded a clip of that

predator study barefoot my little hairy foe welcome to predator study out every time every time he does that little yowl it cracks me the fuck up so he's normally before this episode he's normally a man who's a monster

truck but his promos also start with a jungle cat coming out and then he turns into this man so he's a man who's a monster truck who's a cat and now in this episode he's also like an academic in his study and you can hear it

in his soundscape that you'll hear like police sirens and birds chirping and they're like it's because they're layering every soundscape of like he's in the city he's in the jungle now he's an academic it's the concrete jungle and they're just layering everything

on top of it on top of itself and he's who's your favorite oh jeez dude gotta go with gravedigger he's the party city skeletor basically I do really like gravedigger just because he's skeletor just like a legally actionable skeletor

he's no other thing but skeletor captain yeah I like the equalizer yeah I like the equalizer because his catchphrase was with a fist pump and I guess Predators is which is also pretty good

I don't know Carolina Crusher there's that one part where he randomly transforms into the drill instructor and he's like he's holding a drill and wearing these big yellow rubber gloves that you might use to de-clog a toilet

and it's like what do you think drill instructors actually do well again that's because it's eight layers of abstraction later he starts out as just a construction worker and then at some point they decide

he's also like an explosives guy and so they start showing him just holding dynamite and then I guess for this episode they're like he's also a drill instructor in the military but they don't take away and they're not like trying a different thing they're like ah the construction thing isn't working they're like no he's also that

now he's also an army guy which is great as like a theme like someone went in and said hey we will never take anything away we will only add to this until at the end everyone is 20 things and I it's so uniquely weird

while everybody is 20 things I still feel like it was the same one actor doing everybody except for Equalizer because like he's skinny as fuck he's not beefy he's like the other dudes he's also Malibu from the American so he was not skinny forever

fucking Malibu is in this and I love that they're technically zero things because this is not a thing that we can wrap our head around like they're not mascots they're like they're the avatars of the monster truck

okay I guess that explains it sure they also have their own theme that is separate from the truck so right but the fiction I guess is that the actual trucks transform into men when they're not racing and the fact that they don't even try to explain that kind of bothers me like

I'm sorta pissed off about it wouldn't made a better film than Avatar though I love that they don't explain way more than Avatar unironically my favorite part is that they go to these promos and they're so great they're in full costumes

I won't say they're like good costumes but there's a lot of costume and they have little matte painting backdrops and crude special effects and they have their own stories and everything and they do I wanna say like 30 seconds to at least a minute

between the exchanges of these things and then all of this is building up to a monster truck race so after all of this they cut back to two trucks idling and then they race for five seconds and then it's over that's literally how long

five to ten seconds these races go so all of this build up is like I'm gonna kill you and then they cut to a monster truck it bounces twice and you're like oh too bad he lost the pacing of it the flip of a guy Fred

I think he drove barefoot Fred Schaefer and this might explain why they came up with the idea of all these guys in skeleton the margin of victory is full of truck late Fred Schaefer standing by with her own Jim Davidson in the pits Fred you're blowing doors out there today

the fastest qualifying time then you go up against Predator and put him away tell me about it we're staging there and it looked like he he tried to red light on me I was worried about the truck spinning and coming down spinning and breaking but I got through it okay and I'm ready for next round

everything dialed in everything's ready I'm ready the charm the charm of Fred okay he is he's the man that drives barefoot and he's I want to say 70

he's like 70 years old massive glasses it's not a young man's game monster trucks he did not want to play like they clearly he's one of the champion trucks so they clearly would have approached him to be like we're doing this thing and he was like no

he takes his monster truck and seriously no he's not about to water it down with some fucking you who in a costume representing his truck my grandkids will love it he's like my grandkids just graduate in college they will found that childy

but they don't omit him from the entire like thing so that was predator talking shit to him the man in the cat costume dressed up like an academic was talking shit to his truck which does not have a character he's just there yeah I don't want a part of this

but they still show it he's still like unwittingly a part of it and it's so much fun but they just it was clearly like a 10-8 round for predator then in that case cause that dude was not talking back yeah he was like fair enough you kicked my ass

but next time I'll throw the book at you cause I'm holding books in this episode book puns he starts making book puns and I have a clip later to pay so I just want everybody to keep in mind that he starts making book puns here and it will build later

yes yes it's a lot of building in this the next matchup is Taurus vs Carolina Crusher and either one of these guys was listed as our favorites but it's pretty fantastic Carolina Crusher is I wouldn't say it's a good character but it's a deep character as we said

they just keep adding stuff to him I have a clip of him here I'm the drill sergeant here so stand in attention and listen up Taurus is the enemy and after I march over him on the battlefield

he'll be missing in action cow dung, cow girl I mean cow boy take to your battle station commander crusher is moving in for the kill it's better than the other guys whatever the hell he was doing

he fucking meant that the bad guy from over the top is the actor actual arm wrestler before this I'm assuming because you gave some serious like psychological mind game ammunition to your opponents if you go back to actual like pro arm wrestler

probably maybe he's in charge of this he's like guys know what you do in arm wrestling you just keep adding elements he's a construction worker who is a monster truck who is an explosives expert dressed as an army man only for this episode

and he will not do second takes I am the drill sergeant it's like the first thing he says let me set up the world for you here they keep the construction soundscape in and then add army sounds on top of it so he's doing construction

in a war zone I guess it's like Fortnite well well being a monster monster truck construction in a war zone I think it's maybe too aggressive with the word play it kind of feels like they're reading themed valentines to each other

he's like it is high noon and my throat is going horse but still wrong telling everyone that I've got a bullet with your name on it yee-haw oh speaking of all this cowboy shit I did clip Taurus's promo back yee-haw

crusher it's very easy to shoot you down you'll stand out on this war like a dag named sore thumb or shall I say dumb thumb oh you're scared dag to come out well with your jar hitting friends at the base but this

oh don't break my minute of this you rotten little cow wranglin' wacko I'm the one who's organizing this war effort not them so give me my respect or drop and give me

20 punk so now I'm just confused as to who was the in the actual army here which one of them we had the drill sergeant and then we've got this guy talking about being in the military I mean it's just same guy they're losing the narrative at this point

well what happened I'm sure you caught this while watching it is that the monster truck man can interrupt each other's promos which is oh yes it's magical so it's like and how did he interrupt Taurus's promo if I recall

like a pterodactyl by drilling himself in the face he was holding the drill up to his face while screaming real sergeant and a construction worker and that's how those two things are linked see it's fucking so good and what I love about that

is that if they can interrupt each other's promos that means it's happening in real time across the truck realm they can like hear each other and scream at each other it's like we get marvel on the phone right now they're never in the same place at the same time so they are like through dimensions because he's in some sort of like

Arizona you know Wild West kind of backdrop while clearly Crusher is in monster army construction but they're interacting like right to each other so they're bringing their own like little universes

and crashing into each other just for this before they turn before they turn back into trucks of course which is like the only thing we are not talking about I was going to say that Taurus is talking about Crusher's marine theme which he's only doing today

so Taurus who's just a regular cowboy still knows about the other guy's thing and he's like commenting on it which I think it's it's just good like someone is clearly has some good editorial direction letting everybody know like okay Crusher's

an army man today so add that to your promo what am I you're still just a cowboy you're not ready for the big leagues you're not ready for a second thing pal your costume was free when you arrived on set that day I was like I don't have a cowboy outfit still there

so you're the cowboy today they probably have like a really hot girl designing the costumes and they're like oh no Chef had a really good idea really good idea sweetheart don't take away anything okay it's getting a little heavy

I'm literally and figuratively it's getting this is like 80 pounds of clothes I have on now it's called world building you barbarian he's ultimate warrior but he's also a nerd and a snake and a kitty cat this guy's a

bat jinn carry and a chef I don't know so maybe that's what they're going for it's just like too much chef all of that like insane world building promo levels cuts back to a four second truck race which Crusher loses like in four seconds later

four seconds after that cut where he drills himself on his face while screaming they're like oh we lost by a tenth of a second there and then it's over that's it so it's not like it's not like professional wrestling in which case you can have these long storylines planned out with the big fight

you know scripted out you know how it's going to go you're making these storylines and then it's based on however an actual monster truck race pans out and I've watched all of these episodes like fully half of the race is pan out with the truck just not starting or breaking so

that's how these promos end oh he's you alive oh I couldn't start sorry so good the next guy is an alien which I love Invader which means Invader is a space truck which is something about that I really

liked I vaguely remember Invader at this point he kind of made that big an impression on me yeah I took a clip of him and we'll see he's a planet extorta this is Invader speaking a compressed defective molecule known as Troublemaker

will soon make his way to you he probably will look like regular Raymatter he'll be black and blue a word from the wise he might burn well in spacecraft fuel hahahaha nailed it

there's so much here's what I love about it he says he won't look like regular Raymatter he'll be black and blue because it doesn't really make sense it's like an idiot looked up science terms and just ripped on one because it had a color in it he's like oh that one's that has the word

gray oh I got something I got something the lore they first of all Invader looks like looks like your mom tried to build a master chief costume master chief at home costume for sure and I like that he has a home planet right his planet is

Storpa and what happens with his races because they all here's the great part they all decide different stakes for their races some of them it's just a race and if you lose you're like I'll race you next time some of them like Gravedigger if you lose a race to him you die

your truck dies everybody dies your truck will come back maybe the next episode and nobody will acknowledge it because you're in a different world Invader is but for some time you were dead but somehow you were dead and if you lose a race to him he sends you to his planet for slavery

I'm assuming and the that clip ends with him saying he might as he might burn well as space crab fuel fucking space crab fuel what the fuck are you talking about I had to have been an error again

these guys don't do a second take they're like fuck you suit is heavy fashion suit on top of that is heavy fucking hats on top of that are heavy this is probably where we got the term hat on a hat it's because fucking monster wars you literally have eight hats you're trying to hold up at one point

fucking vampire in a hat is I feel like the space crab arc is just woefully neglected in this they mention it and then they don't go anywhere bring that back well he does they race and whatever

Invader wins nobody gives a shit about the actual monster trucks at this point the only thing we don't care about Invader wins and then I uploaded a clip exhausted he's clearly yeah he's planting eggs in him that's gotta be it right

and yet he then adds in I think because he said eggs he adds in a request for bread and milk right like this this is what's happening through here is that you'll see it again with with equalizer and a little bit is that they'll say something

just an offhanded thing one of their sketches and whoever's writing these if they're not improving them is like okay that's the character now so now he's now he wants shopping is is Invader's like I mentioned eggs do you want to also pick up bread and milk like it doesn't affect anything

but they will carry it over this is very much like those joke books where like a spider-man joke book he'll like he says I'm gonna do some spider-man jokes about his webs and then he does a couple of web jokes that are sort of normal and then he's like webs webs threads

threads sweaters are made out of threads spider-man sweater will wrap around the villain and like that'll to them that's a joke because they're just in this fucking spider-man web zone and I feel like we're getting a little microcosm to that yeah each one is allowed and encouraged to do that

and just totally without any respect to the others so they're all building their own universe I'm just quite disturbed at the the implications of his big plans for you on planet extorper given what we know about what he does to people on planet extorper

all right space Hitler calm down he's gonna implant his eggs it's probably a very pleasurable procedure until they burst until they burst out of your orifices works like alien rules and and if they had a character he'd come back the next week also part invader just like half of his costume

god that'd be so good terrifying absolutely fucking terrifying just like a guy comes back and he just like looks sort of sick and he's like I only have two episodes to live I can feel it inside me I wouldn't put it past him

I bet they get there the fucking truck appendages just become flesh or something you've got equalizer with his truck penis dangling out of his chest chest burst or something equalizer's truck penis dangling out of his chest just on the record we got that one on the record

that's recorded so next we finally hit the Skeletor guy we've been talking about Gravedigger in human form is just Skeletor Brockway did you know who Gravedigger is under the mask? I don't this is Aaron Baker the sexy vampire

from the World Bodybuilding Federation no he is yoked as shit I did not have that in my notes right back that's amazing and he so he must have gotten like inspired because it was

it was 9192 for World Bodybuilding Federation so he must have gotten inspired by Muscle Dracula only to come into this competition and be like there's already a muscle Dracula alright I have a back up line Muscle Skeletor what about

tell me you don't have a Skeletor I would have loved to see his third option Abraham Lincoln okay so this next is Gravedigger vs Kodiak and Kodiak's suspension gives way and like

the truck drives into a wall and then we're reminded that like oh yeah these old men will die this is a fucking crazy thing they're doing it's the dramatic linchpin of the whole episode I feel like when he hits that wall it's like oh my god

they're all over again yeah several times they'll roll over or crash or whatever what happens in the package if one of them dies if one of them one of the drivers actually dies do you cut back to Skeletor and go oh

shit guess he's dead oh shit I'm really sorry this is inappropriate now he's probably pre-recorded like some Jedi Force ghosts for them to come in remember me and all of my truck jumps

all 14 seconds of my career Kodiak is another one that doesn't get a character because he didn't want to play but several times the ones with characters will damage their truck somehow and like I said earlier it does carry over into the character and vice versa

so if one gets hurt the other gets hurt so you will see moments like this where like oh he rolled over and then it'll cut back to him going like oh that really hurt I have a new theory what if there is some sort of a rule where they weren't allowed to do bear costumes because the two trucks that don't have men

are barefoot which is B, E, A, R foot and Kodiak there's gotta be more to this that's gotta be buried in the lore somewhere something about bears or weretrucks tropical thunder also doesn't have a man

but maybe that's a different kind of bear that does make sense I took a clip of Gravedigger let's hear him Gravedigger saff you died you died because you lost

put that in the record it's absolutely like child logic when you're playing and they're like you got shot so you're dead and you can't play anymore you're like no I'm still gonna play first field Equalizer is next against

tropical thunder and he's a motorcycle superhero he's the guy from F-Zero as you said he's cardboard captain played by Malibu which is why everyone loves him I did upload his clip if you didn't have it it doesn't sound like F-Zero

it's called these are letters I brought that for two reasons first there's some sort of mail system monster truck interdimensional mail system and they write each other letters which I think is adorable but also

there is a monster truck postman that truck fucking whips ass postman is not enough things he's gotta be like a postman like Golem who is also a short order chef everybody's a chef it's gonna end with

everyone a chef chef trucks they'll get a toy line and you'll have to convince people they existed 30 years later I swear to god I had chef trucks did you not I brought that clip because also only at the very end there does he say I'm writing everyone off

so he's just making a writing pun but that's enough he's not any other thing right now after this he becomes a professor because he's writing everyone off he said that so now he's like shit I'm a professor now it spawned a blackboard in his truck realm

which is the ability to write in this universe makes you a professor as well said a high bar for intelligence and the monster truck averse but I do think you're right in that he made a pun and therefore it exists as a physical item in his

universe I think that's what's happening that's the power of the words that's why they keep doing wordplay and so when something doesn't appear after their wordplay that means they fucked it up that means it wasn't good enough it wasn't a good pun I really like that he had all this time to think of a comeback

and the guy's like your fashion stinks and his comeback is oh you're a hypocrite because you have cat scratch fever and a bad hair day which is nothing that's why nothing materialized for him he was hoping that like I'm a hairdresser now no no

that didn't make a cat I should have made at least one cat I'm writing you off now I'm a professor what the fuck Equalizer wins the real truck not the human in like a couple seconds it's really hard to like follow these races or care they interview the guy and he's got some kind of an

oil pressure issue and I started recording a clip because I thought it was funny how like Mundane his all these guys interviews are like but anyway as the clip went on it became a really good example of the manic pace of the show so I just want to play a clip just like 20 seconds of the show

yeah I tried to go hard over the first set of cars there and see how it was going to work out and I had good control on the other end so it worked out great well I know you've been keeping your fingers crossed about a couple things back here what's going on with the Equalizer monster truck I'm not sure I got a motor problem I've either got an old

galley plug or something in the back vibrated lutes I'm losing the oil pressure bad and when I get to the end of the run I actually have no oil pressure as far as the rest of today's concerning you'll be able to make it with that well until it quits I'll be out there running you're the fucking professor you're the one going on at the finish mark

bendler after running into the wall just to get things fixed aboard Tonya let me cut to this guy fixing this truck technically then I'm still slaving in the kitchen but this meal is going to be worth it I wonder if Julia Child started

out this way she did actually it's almost time she started out as a monster truck Julia Child the monster truck I kept that clip in because coming up in rounds which I thought was very

funny I didn't know if she fucked it up or if they monster trucks out in French I don't know that was a classy you know that was a 30 second clip and there were like eight different segments in there one of them was a vampire chef doing a Julia Child impression

it's such pure madness and nobody has any idea she didn't get that in Formula One put it that way I feel like it was a good metaphor that the guy running around trying to fix his truck had his fly down and nobody told him I feel like that's very appropriate I didn't even know that

it was just in case his truck be in his palm she would take it off turn that into a door throw it on the truck I need a door for the truck I know it's a sacrifice baby but Dave Digger is made up of four skins of fallen men that's canon he established that

the next time he appears in a segment he's going to be covered in four skins the fucking lore of this stuff it's so deep this is when they throw to that package we were talking about earlier that sad guy who runs a tow truck company and basically this monster truck hobby

it's just a huge drain on him and his wife which is great it's such a bummer but you have to keep in mind the entire time he's talking about how this truck costs everything and he does it for the passion you have to remember that that truck is invader the alien that captures other trucks and sends them to his home planet

and also if he got rid of that truck he has no dick that's where he keeps his dick all my money and my dick tied up in this truck then equalizer is still going with this like professor thing did you pull a clip of this if not I can sum it up

he puts EQ plus invader equals pain on the chalkboard and I did like this just because it proved that they can summon props when they want in the truck zone yes he calls himself a teaching professor yes I'm a teaching professor of pain and then he's established

like that's my thing so yeah you have to be really fucking careful what you say we have beef together like oh shit we're burning now I'm going to jerk you like a bad habit I'm a nun where am I a nun that's one part of that sentence

I would love a nun monster truck man give him time if this went like 20 more episodes everyone would have been everything eventually just the pace they were going singularity of insanity

yes I did pull a clip from the next promo fight this was Crusher vs. Taurus again these guys are really building a rivalry oh god he's going to turn into a bouncy smack on this side and it's back to losers on the other darn it I want a real race now I want a real race now

because I'm starving for victory well he said the words I'm starving for victory why is this mama's boy anyway you know what they say the bigger they are the bigger they fall stop picking on me somebody stole my stablet

okay who was it somebody's gonna pay it was you just incredible like I didn't edit that that was an actual tv show I think he was trying to become a giant baby and it just wasn't it wasn't ticking

because he didn't voice it he didn't say the words but he did say I'm starving for victory and that made his sandwich disappear and so now the stakes of this race are his sandwich because when he when he wins it cuts back to him and he's gotten his

sandwich back so they established the stakes after like accidentally establishing that he might be it's fucking madness I love it so much it also established that he lives with his mother and see me like he can't eat unless she buys him food

or makes him food which just throw that in the Carolina Crusher lore I don't know if it's interesting or not but now you know it they discuss in one of the following races they discuss technique and the driver says

I've patented this move where I accelerate on the part of the course that you accelerate on but then I really accelerated the jump I just want to bring that up real quick as a reason like we're talking about the fucking guy inventing sandwiches and shit out of thin air

because otherwise it's I go fast and then I go faster back to you I go double fast I watched that whole episode and I did not pick up on the minutiae of like you know the speaking these things into existence that you guys have broken down

here tonight so I didn't are levels to this shit I didn't pick that up until we started talking about it and then it was like I I guess this is genius it is genius speaking of genius they throw to a package with Randy he's the guy who dumps dirt down on the arenas

this was my favorite bit where they explain the arenas are made I make the reed and it's like he breaks it down and is like dude you literally spread some dirt and the truck drives over the dirt

you take a truck made to spread dirt around you spread the dirt around with the truck for the dirt they call me the dirt guy did you have a clip of this? I didn't take a clip of Randy I forgot to too but it's so good because they have like this 1990s hip hop backing with these like attitude graphics

he's like hot pinks and color swaps and it's like Randy designs dirt tracks to him and he's got all this hip hop and these cool graphics around him and he goes they call me the dirt guy we do all types of tracks but dirt we do dirt that's what he has to say they cut a waiver on this

later they cut back to him and he goes somebody called me an adrenaline junkie not too long ago I don't know about that they called me an actual junkie but that part is very true he's just he knows he's boring as shit and he's got something to do with dirt and all the graphics in the world won't save him

it's like Randy you designed a track that is a straight line of dirt and you're the track guy he doesn't sound anyone better sometimes there's different weathers and like that's I think what's adrenaline kicks in when there's like a drizzle

and he's like I gotta get this dirt down but some of it's kind of moist they're like Randy you're too dangerous Randy these are the stakes of the actual competition that all this is about you're being overshadowed so hard by a fucking Skeletor mailman of space over here

I was just spinning off into his own universe and you're like meanwhile the actual competition and nobody gives a shit you're so boring but then at one point they show a track that's like actually circular you know like trucks like taking turns like turning left

almost nascar ass guy it's like why didn't you show some of that shit they show it for like two seconds and then cut straight back to the trucks driving in a straight line for five seconds they do both so some of the episodes will have like the nascar track some of them will have a ten second track some of them will have a five second track

so you never know what you're going to get episode per episode on every level on like the monster truck level on the on the wrestler level the monster truck has to wish the track into existence or something by saying you know I'm feeling like a circle today

I don't fucking know a curveball yeah oh god damn it I'm a baseball player I'm gonna clean your clock oh fuck now I'm a clock antigener Napoleon can you tell

when I do like my hillbilly accent or does it all sound like the same American accent to you? I'm married to an American so I'm aware of this my master's so yeah if you've been doing an Irish hillbilly

accent I can't tell all of us are hillbillies it's fine we only have the one accent so we got Gravedigger beats Crusher next and he's still doing like a newspaper bit where he's like I'm reading the obituaries

Beastman and the thing he says he's like they spelled your name wrong on the newspaper and there's like wasn't a bit it's just like okay you're in this newspaper they got it wrong bye so fucking good I'm in this place I found a picture of you

that's not very good it's not a very flattering picture I'm writing on this one you thought I'd have another thing yeah but no goodbye I've discovered you have to be very careful about your words in the truck zone

that's the skeleton of the newspaper today yeah Barefoot vs Equalizer is my favorite clip oh I took the shit out of this I took the actual racing clip from this because it was incredible play that and then you can play my wrestler clip okay

well now I'm the ultimate professor I teach my example and Barefoot I'm gonna teach you a lesson in life and death when you show up be prepared to fail and by the way

bring me an apple yeah I'm gonna teach you at the end no this is for the listeners you're gonna love this the actual race audio he popped a wheelie in no man's land

a wheelie down the track for Barefoot and he wins it an incredible run for the world champion and David Marchie didn't have a player Dodge took it down the track your winner Barefoot

with a wheelie they're gonna do the replay watch this he powers up and the front tires never touch the dirt to the finish line look at electric guitars that's not racing that's flying

for Barefoot fuck yeah that's not racing that's flying so I feel like if every race was like that you could probably get by without the wrestlers because that was completely sweet popping a wheelie in no man's land I mean I didn't know it was called that

until he popped a wheelie in it and then it became something with a cool name that's where the trucks live when a war one soldier started appearing and shit they're all caught up on barbed wire being mown down by machine guns like oh no we conjured world war one on our racetrack

that's the truck zone that's where the truck zone is it's the limbo between wars and you pop a wheelie straight through it my god the players to this show look at all of these moist holes for my eggs says invader I just I just love that Malibu ended his little promo

with bring me an apple yeah and afterwards since equalizer lost he took the F that he gave Barefoot before the race he changed it to an A which is like that's a real classy move I think you're now an A

it's not even a B which is the easy change yeah it's hard to say what he's still yelling about something but it's hard to say it's kind of lost in the school wordplay and then they play an ad for just crashes this is fucking faces of death for Tennessee

kid it's like the power slap of trouble just the crashes just want the death take out all the Skeletors why would you take out the Skeletors they better be selling a far more popular collection that's just like

oops all Skeletors it's just the bits Grave Digger just needs to wish that universe into existence and then it's just the Grave Digger universe Grave Digger cinematic universe I would absolutely watch a movie based on this I think that would be the biggest train wreck

that we would talk about for decades you could watch the Masters of the Universe movie from the 80's and just pretend it's the Grave Digger cinematic universe that's exactly who they would have got to make it is the canon films they would have been used in parts from other other movies and Mario Brothers

props there's gotta be an edit you can make to that movie with hopefully they have like Robert Tye style 10 hours of B roll of bastards in universe we can recut to be about monster truck spirits put in some vintage Dolomite footage

look at that truck that truck is doing it seems like we're being insane but like the next bit is Grave Digger vs Barefoot and Skeletor comes out having apparently already changed like he was leading hard on a newspaper angle he even said something about

maybe this is how Howard Hughes got started clearly expecting like the next one I'm gonna be a newspaper man and he comes back in and a bowtie and is like I'm rich I'm going to the Bermuda Triangle fuck happening to you what did you say off camera

so where the fuck did you go to the Bermuda Triangle just because you're rich like 8 more things happened to him he made like fucking 16 puns and he came back I don't know what happened I've got two bikini girls I've got a bowtie I'm in the Bermuda Triangle I feel like if you sat down and thought about

where Skeletor would vacation you'd like think Bermuda Triangle you're like that's the one that's where he would go but yeah he's going on the fuck vacation to Bermuda with two sudden bikini girls somehow that happened off camera because

the last time we saw him he was turning into a newspaper man so like he's a twist no fuck I tried to order a sex on the beach I don't know what happened he lost also by the way

this is his losing speech he's like I guess I lost the truck as I go fuck these ladies and the full bikini zone lost the race for one life that was the final so he lost the finals but then the other guy Barefoot didn't have a character he's just an old man that didn't want to play

so they cut the Skeletor turning into fucking Mr Bermuda over here in his bowtie with his and then he doesn't have like he's the villain of this so far and this whole thing ends with him just being like I guess I'm going on vacation and meanwhile the hero

Barefoot never appeared in the show like it's how it ends it's insane and wonderful to leave it on a cliffhanger I think so you're just wondering like what's Barefoot really look like are we ever going to get to see him transform

into a fucking dog or something is Mr Skeletor going to rail both of those models in the Bermuda Triangle and if so will anybody ever find him again you don't even have to ask that's how Skeletor gets down you guys are natural storytellers so you want the story to

end here but it doesn't actually what it does is it throws to Dan Cortez interviewing this middle-aged man from Gravedigger and he gets some really fascinating insights into some sort of a slight overheating issue he's kind of dealing with oh I took that clip he gave his winning Fred Schaefer

they asked him for his winning advice and he gave all of his wisdom in one clip it's really good I do also, I haven't mentioned this yet but the guy when he interviews people he pulls them very close like it's weird that they don't kiss it's uncomfortable

Fred a great job tell me about that run against Digger though Digger's running I got over that hill and I put that thing to the floor and let that big dive motor do all the work and I just held it down straight and it don't make no difference I just held it to the floor and see how it comes out

that's what I did he says it in different ways what I did is I pressed on the gas and I held it down and I let that motor do it and what I did was I then put the hammer down which was the gas pedal remember and that's all I did goodbye what a fucking show

he's a concise he hasn't got time to waste you see why they needed to turn that man into a Skeletor to make him interesting I just feel like we should get like these bits for like all the most boring UFC fighters or something

you know just like you know they can't cut a promo to save their lives get fucking Skeletor to do it for you like come on Jeff Monson up is like a chef and a dentist and a truck and a tank and a professor

wouldn't mind if he was a little bit of a centaur satin in no man's land don't put him on planet exo prime or whatever the fuck the one with the weird shit was and he'd be like I'm Damien Myle I'm here to fuck and fuck if you like seeing monster trucks get fucked

for free come on down to Skeletor Planet Einstein hooded Frank first Einstein hooded Einstein hooded Frank first and the podcast came out and with Maximalim Chow talk Frank first podcast

correct yeah the craft is not trapped is not without shit in the hundersaw deal a stunder come on John you kidding me Einstein hooded Einstein hooded Frank first

Einstein hooded Einstein hooded Frank first Einstein hooded Einstein hooded Frank first Einstein hooded Einstein hooded yeah knowing thousand

there's nothing so tragic as when the young died before the old here at hot dog space camp we know that all too well a moment of silence please with the late hot dog space class 2023 3 finger Louis

Aaron Crosston Adrien H just wanted to see the stars fuck we told her that's not how it works but she was the dreamer Aiden Mouette Alpha scientist Java UnAndy

Armando Nava worked hard hardied harder and they say died the hardest Badger Benjamin Sironin Bim Tulsa Brandon Garlaw Brian Saylor was the first to suggest

they steal a real rocket but we're trying not to place blame here Brienne Whitney Brockway loves the meat hilly still does Barry Tumac Saral was the one who actually stole the rocket and it's his fault

Chad Chance McDermott Chris Browler LL Space Devin the rogue supreme Dean Costello Donald Finney will never forget your tragic last words

Go throw out the whip Eric Spalding Fancy Shark Jellaho deserved better than to be torn apart by space apes but he did bring those apes up there Greg Cunningham Hambo

Haraka Henguini's parents are suing the school we understand they're hurt but exploded by Asteroid is a pretty classic act of God Hot Fart Jabral Aiden died how he lived on the moon

Jeff Horaski We've lost every one of our precious Johns John Dean's family asked us to say may he rest in the peace he hated in life John Hector McFarlane's family asked us to say may he rest

in war John McCammon's family asked us to say may the bastard find no rest John Minkoff's family chased us off their property with a thresher Johnny No Fun was ironically too much fun

it turns out space is not the ultimate bomb cooler Joseph Searles will never forget your tragic last words which were just your own name yelled from a saddle tied to a booster rocket now it may not hurt as badly as losing the Johns

but we lost all of our Josh's too Josh Fabian we hope you finally found Alph Joshua Alph Graves if only the two of you had met in life Josh S we hardly knew ye nobody could even find a picture

leading theories say you were an urban legend Ken Paisley K&M M Jahee Chappelle Mack Miserable Matt Riley when you enrolled you told us you wanted to die naked on a comet we laughed

at the time Max Baroy Michael Lair Michael Wells now the school is suing Mickey Lohman's family for defamation we are not a school full of buttholes who teach kids that rockets point down

Mike Stiles Moju N.D. Neal Bailey Neal Schaefer will miss your laughter most of all it went like this war war war war war war war war

like a horny walrus choking on a smaller walrus is wild it's crazy stuff Nekka 104 Nick Ralston Ozzie Olin you asked in every class

what would happen if you stuck it in the lunar rover what was the answer Patrick Rachel Rain Vargas Rihanna Sarkovsky Sean Chase is the one who started the deadly

rumor that Huffing Space got you high spotty reception Supernaught had a theory that in zero gravity a fart could propel you forever still going as far as we know Ted H Thomas Kovatsos

Timmy Lehi overdosed on freeze-dried ice cream you can only eat four of those in a lifetime you know Toasty God Tom Sikula Tommy G Waylin Russell Yossarian

Yannis Ionitis you were our best our brightest the live feed showed you weren't that way too Doctor Awkward all of your instructors said it was impossible to do a kickflip in space they said you'd never land it without gravity I guess

I guess I guess the joke's on them because you're forever now.