The Dogg Zzone by 1900HOTDOG - Dogg Zzone 9000 - Episode 132, The Book of the Demon Star with Lydia Bugg

Episode Date: July 19, 2023

Brockway reads from the Book of the Demon Star and sacrifices Seanbaby and guest, Lydia Bugg, to the devil! No, that's it. That's the podcast!

1,900 hot dog! 1,900 hot dog! A podcast slammed with maximum height! Say hot dog podcast worked! Yeah! When you taste that nitrate power, you're in the dog zone for an hour! Come on!

You don't remember! 1,900 hot dog! 1,900 hot dog! Welcome to the Dog Zone 9000, the official podcast of 1900 Hot Dog America's Last Comedy website. You guys remember websites? So, where one of them? Talented comedians work very hard to write long-form text comedy because we refuse to change and it's the world that's wrong. So we're waiting for them to change.

If you love that, if you love text comedy, you have one option, it's us. Go to patreon.com slash 1900 hot talk, you have no other choice. I'm the fallen prince whose name means dust in languages that God has destroyed. Robert Brockway. And with me is the death of virtue whose name is flies in the mouths of babes. Shaw baby. You look so ill and a coloctores. Ha, ha, thanks. It's good to have you too.

And our guest, horror author, comedian, lost twin to the morning star, sometimes called Satanette Lydia Bug. Ooh, Satanette. I'm actually always called that. Never call me anything else. Lydia, I mentioned your horror author. Do you have something to plug today? Yeah, there's a short story anthology that's going to be coming out. I think around October,

called Up All Night. That's a collection of horror shorts about capitalism and working minimum wage. And I have a short story and it called always hiring. So yeah that'll be out in October. That sounds awesome. Yeah. But buy that or be destroyed by Satan. Yeah that's the guarantee. No I'm just having to have Satan in on the show. It's a real big get.

It is a big get. Lydia do you remember how I asked you to do this podcast? I believe you said, do you want to raise a demon with me in Sean? And I said, yes. And I put it in my calendar immediately as Consum in the Devil was Sean and Brockway. That's correct. That is exactly what we're doing today.

And thank you so much for just immediately being game. Today, we will be summoning the devil and learning his foul arts. Turn off the podcast if your heart is weak in the faith of the one true God. I won't say what it is. You're gambling on that one. I love how you sound as deranged as you've ever sounded, but there's like 14, 15% of the country that does not understand it's a joke It's fine. It's not like there are demographic

If they've not listen to this where what's wrong with the country make us famous This constitutes an audio waiver if your dog starts telling you to fuck your mother and your refrigerator starts bleeding, that's on you. We take no responsibility. Our hands are clean. And that's because we are reading from Libber Al Ghoul, the book of the Demon Star.

Did you get off Amazon or where did you get off Amazon? I got it off Amazon. Is that Latin? It sounds like like Latin that sounds no it's made up okay it's by a guy named Diableto or dole cool which I think that means a little level doesn't actually mean little level yeah okay the little devil this little level

Mr. little Mr. fella I wrote an article called Thirteen Crappiest Demons, kind of kind of making fun of the list format, but also I sometimes miss the list format. So Thirteen Crappiest Demons was from a demonology book written by Diablicto Ordo Algool. And as I sometimes do, I looked at the Emaniacs other books and I found, oh God, I found so much good stuff. First is Lieber Elgul, the book of the Demon Star, which this is going to teach you how

to become a disciple of the devil and access his great and terrible powers. He has several books. They do different things, but this is this is how you start with double. This is devil worshipping 101. I have. Devil worshipping for dummies. It's crazy. No, it's done this. Yeah, it's weird that we live in a world where nobody has devil powers.

Actually, many people do and you will find that out. Okay, so they're like subtle. They're not they're not like movie comic book superpowers. Some of them are some of them are, but They're not like movie kind of superpowers. They're some of them are some of them are but Well, well, let's just get into it. Okay. Okay. The book the book opens with a quote that says What can the black book do and that is attributed to me by which you know Diableto or do I'll go What are themselves

And then there's there's an answering quote that says, as far as I know, it can do anything. What can you do with it? And that's attributed to Asmo Day, the demon we will be summoning. Oh, pretty much whatever, man. Yeah, whatever. Great to see you, Diableto.

Here's something you can do that's very demonic. Quote yourself first thing in the book. Quote yourself. Attribute it in everything. In a book that you are writing. So basically everything in this book is a quote from him. Right. It'll really piss people off. Just find that you could have put your name there and somehow it wouldn't have been as cute as me like that's just me. Yeah. your name there and somehow it wouldn't have been as cute as me like that's just me yeah that's it me being a little skamp adorable it's pretty good it's like it hasn't seen a book before he started writing one why would he need any other book then then the book that which gives him power over the sea and earth all right let's get to the intro if any

point you want to intervene, go right ahead. I will give my voice a break. The SAFE, the Demon Asmodeus. The old age of monotheism has passed, and the demons return to earth. Let any man or woman who would be a true witch hear me now! I now reveal the path to power, knowledge and ecstasy in this, the new age. I was born of an angel seed and a mortal woman, many ages ago. Mighty deeds I did on this earth in a time now forgotten, in a land which has gone beneath

the sea. Many children I had of my own, I learned magic from my father, the king of all demons, the mighty Sam I. Wait, is this him or is he quoting the demon? The demon is writing the intro. The forward to this book is written by the demon he worships. Got it. Okay, sorry. I had to clarify. Sorry, he said angel, but he's talking about like a fallen angel, like a demon angel, Sam I. Yes. He said he was an angel, so I was confused.

Right, he sometimes angels is not a... I had a baby with a human woman in the velocity of Atlantis, I'm gonna just assume. And he was taught sorcery by his demon father. Okay, I'm caught up. The king of all demons. He had a lot of babies in Atlantis and then he just let it sink, very demon behavior.

Yeah, I'm tired of paying this Atlantean child support. They call that a late term abortion in hell. First of many claps. Yes, yes. After a time I grew weary of the flesh and entered forever into the kingdom of light. Because of the power and authority I had received from my father, I became the king of many demons. I have perfected my sorcery for thousands of years. I am a lord of the Sabbath and primal witchcraft. Since I no longer dwell in the flesh, I make no more children.

Thus I have taken it upon myself to find the souls of all those who are my own My scribe Diableto is one of those Doesn't fuck that's pretty He you you you fuck a lot you guys he doesn't fuck anymore because he doesn't have a dick wait that sounds weird All of my exes are at the bottom of the ocean Fuck anymore because he doesn't have a dick wait that sounds weird All of my exes are at the bottom of the ocean trust me I lost my dick. Oh my kids are dead This is a country. So this is how they write country songs and how it feels more like the my girlfriend lives in Canada Girlfriend lives in Atlantis you wouldn't know it, it's at the bottom of the ocean. Okay.

Also in magic. I like that he had the demon actually say his name, Diobleto, it's so cute. It takes all the men aside of that demon. In the 19th year of Diobleto's life, I revealed myself to him and became his god. This is the matter in which I revealed myself onto my scribe. Let me guess.

Nude. Lydia, do you have a guess? I'm gonna say with pants, but he's on fire. First, I caused him to be curious about and then order by mail a copy of the book called The Goatia. I appeared in the form of a Freedom Rock commercial. What is that, the devil? Turn it up, man. I purchased an ad in Marvel comic books. It had him get pseudo, the forbidden art, combining Judo and G Kundo, fine.

At least in his Rayleigh military. It came with a small working submarine he had to build himself. Then, okay, that was my joke, team and voice, let's back to the real one. Then, when the book arrived at his house, and he was alone one day, I came out of the book like a genie from a lamp. You can picture it using pop culture references. And it's also adorable. Watch a book by Ernest Klein.

Why is everything so cute? They're a little devil. Has a little demon genie. It's the most adorable book on summoning the devil I have ever read. And I've read a lot. Open the book, I said to him, I reached out and caused his fingers to open it.

The book was open in his hand. He stared at me and all. We are gonna be here for fucking, he's loudly licked his fingers, turning from page zero to page one. It was an acknowledgement He looked carefully upon the letter A moving slowly to the letter C And he read this introduction that I just read to you and we'll again thus say the demon as well It's no I'll start from Still he stared at me and all look down. I said to him, he did so.

And then he saw my... This is the bitch I was doing. It's the bet you weren't doing. And he saw my description in the book. In that moment, he knew I was the demon king as modius. From the description in the book, you see. So this demon's already got him to some to order a book Pick up the book turn the pages of the book and now finally he's revealed himself to this boy

Yeah, he's like wait. He's the guy sees the demon. He reads the description of the demon and then he's like Oh, it's that's the guy. This is the guy that's a genius from earlier He wasn't sure but he had to read the description and see, yes, in fact, that guy looks just like that. This is the power of reading. This is just like inverse Levar Burton. The power of imagination summons the devil. That's what it does. I gave him a map to guide his actions and make him a witch. Every word of this book is mine. Within the map lie the keys to the gates of infinity. I want you to keep in mind what he said there. Every word of this book is mine. Just remember, as modias, the asmo day, the demon wrote all this.

Come and walk the path with me, and I will give you all your hearts desire for I, in the devil. Spend at least one minute performing each technique every day and you will become a witch. Mm-hmm. Meo. A witch. Okay.

I like that after I am the devil. It's, do it for a minute. Every day. One minute. Just like with yoga, you should just do a little bit every day. She's the tiny bit. Right, like a fingertip push up. You don't wanna little bit every day. Just a tiny bit. Right, like a fingertip push-up.

You don't want to like overdo it. You'll get arthritis. It's like novelty fitness videos. 60-second devil summoning. Just once a day, we'll give you devil powers. So are there a lot of them like, why is it only one minute? Because I feel like the devil could ask like an hour and a half from you every day. There is a moderate amount. I feel like the devil asks and a half from you every day. There is a moderate amount.

I feel like the devil asks about 17 minutes of you every day. Which is not unreasonable. See, to me, it does feel unreasonable, because usually I thought his deal was like one one time summoning, not a continuous round of stuff. You know, I thought it was like a one time deal, and then you get your powers. Now, this devil wants you to get fit. You got to get you got to get a ripped with these 60 second devil summonings Everything is subscription base now. I swear to God

The life surface devil Spend at least one minute here now the words of the demon as modius the map map that I have given you is a formula, a ritual, a spell and a number. Only when each step is taken will it manifest its true nature, the alchemical transformation of a man into a god and a woman, into a goddess. I, as modius, have revealed all these things unto my scribe, along with my secret name which is Ashmi Dayane. Oh I fucked up. Oh I just fucked up big time.

Can you delete that, Diableto? You can't. Fuck me, Revol. The reverse love of our hurting. God, I voice is gonna be so dead, but yeah you're so fucked. I'm so fucked. I don't know why I do this to myself, but I do. And I am. I almost said something at the beginning. Like this is not a good choice for me to do the whole thing at Batman. I'm committed. I'm committed. I don't know how much of it. There are parts where I won't, but it's definitely going to hurt. And I hope you can hear it at home. I hope you can hear the pain that I'm in for you

Here are my devilish secrets The first step of the map is raw foods You must eat your first meal every day of only raw fruits. I know where this goes We are seven steps away from drinking your and vegetables. I know where this goes. We are seven steps away from drinking your own pea. I guarantee it. I guarantee it. Feel the electrical power of raw fruits and vegetables.

This is Guinness Paltrow. It was like I swear. You've accidentally grabbed a bit, Gwyneth Paltrow book. It's just like you should exercise and eat vegetables and then you'll have the power of the devil and it's just the power of like being healthy. He might have just as modious might have crossed over,

like he was reading the Gwyneth Paltrow book and he was just kind of like, this is the 50th summoning he's got us due today to Diableto and he's just like, shit, I accidentally read him a chapter from the book. You know, maybe it's because we're saying her name too much, but when if Paltrow does sound like a demon name, it does. Yeah.

I am a Paltrow. The whole secret name is going to Paltrow. Don't tell anybody. Next step, any man who would be a ghoul must save his seed for a month without releasing it. Now we're talking. Okay, I'm sure. I'm telling you that Canada thing, like, that this demon does not fuck. After that, he may surrender it onto the body of the woman who is his goddess.

Oh, that's nice. That's nice that he's in a committed relationship. You're fun. In the very unlikely event, you don't have a goddess willing to be a part of this. You may use this picture of me as Modi. Yes. I think that's nothing wrong with pleasureing yourself.

Take care of yourself first. That wasn't in the book, right? No, okay. The next, no, the next line of the book is after surrender it into the body of the woman who is your goddess. Yet no more than twice per week. You may, don't fuck more than twice per week. It's too much. All right.

I have some questions like what counts as once. Like is that like an evening? I think it's cream pies, no more than two cream pies. I get, okay, that makes sense. This is feeling a lot like a mail order cult. Like controlling your food, controlling how much sex you have. It's very culty. Devil worshipers are usually cooler than this.

Mm-hmm. It's funny you mentioned that. It's funny you mention how cool the devil is. Uh, well, do I get to that? He may have sexes off of messy pleases, but take care not to release the seed for within it lies the dragon power. I love it. Uh, that's come. It's the come is the devil's power.

And you gotta keep it. You gotta keep it in there. I do that at the time. The second step of the map is no addictions. Whatever your addiction might be for my scribe, it was cigarettes. This is the hardest thing you must conquer. Cigarettes. I guess we're starting to like build a psychological profile of this guy who just had to frame his

addiction in a way that was more interesting to him. Someone said, you got to stop smoking, buddy. You're going to die. He's like, nah. And he's like, wait a second. If I frame it like devil worship. Like, okay. I ordered a petriot.

Hey, Triby. Satan, I think you should try a raw diet. I think it'll be good for your skin. I mean, good for the devil. I think it'll be good for the devil. Maybe he was like dating a woman or had a friend who was really into like a vegan lifestyle and like went down to deep a rabbit hole

where they're drinking pee and not coming for a month. And he's like, this fucking lamb, you know what this needs? A weird devil. Like a genie, but a demon. Bring it back around to cool again. Yeah, that'll be cool. Yeah, like let's do all the lame shit

that Christian books tell you to do, but we're gonna do it for Satan, so it's fine. Right. The third step of the map is sex. We just did sex, it's a good sex. We have to do sex again. Do it at the whole time, buddy. You think I don't know what the raw foods was talking about? Those were going up the butt.

In the Al Ghoul system of magic, there are three techniques to raise sexual energy. Technique one, warming the stove. Stand with feet shoulder distance apart. Bend the leg slightly. keep the back straight, place the left hand on the left leg and with the right hand, the evil head, rub the belly in circles around the navel. Do this for 30 seconds. No, this is how you get your bowels to move. Yeah, I was gonna say, that's what you do when you have to poop, but also like are you doing this to yourself or just someone else? No, to yourself. This is too much. I can't even power

You're talking to yourself. It is literally there is a there is a school of yoga that does anti-constipation exercises And this is one of them. Yep. This is an anti-constipation exercise. I like it. We all knew that instantly too Like oh yeah, no no writer has a non-nervous stomach do that instantly too. Like, oh yeah, yeah. No writer has a non-nervous stomach. I'm going to give the devil voice a break just for the rest of the yoga section. Reach above you with both hands stretching them to the sky,

inhale deeply, exhale, and reach toward the ground and touch the toes. Sure, for again, for the devil. He's a gym teacher. He's a yoga for the devil. You take your hands and you make them into fists. You lower your arms and place your fists on your lower back. Exhale and massage your kidneys with your fists.

I mean, this all sounds lovely. This devil is kind of like he's still. That's kind of cute. He's adding beers to these people's lives. The next step of the map is genital compression. You want to walk right into that. Wait, let me hear. It might be nice.

Oh yeah, genital compression might be good. Let's wait and see. Place the feet at shoulder distance apart and bend the knees slightly. Make the hands into fists and place them on either side of the hips. Take two slices of white bread, place them around your manhood. Crush them with the force of 1,000 demons. Inhale deeply and visualize energy coming into your body with your breath. See this energy as white light. As you hold the breath, squeeze

your muscles, feel and see the ball of light being pushed downward until it rests in your genitals. Okay, okay, this is just chalberth. This is the light there for a few moments, I never tell you. Yeah, okay. So it's not you're not really compressing them. You're like imagining a magic ball of light going into them. Yes, you're summoning, I'm going to guess. Starbade. Is this like a white light? I don't know.

White light is some sort of karma, something, I don't know. Putting it in your P hole. Yes, and then you're forcing it down to, you're using it to compress your genitals. Fairly. The white light is what you use to smash your genitals. Okay. So I guess if you do it right, you'll get off on it. If you do it right, you'll get off on the humiliation of it. If you do it right, you create a baby hologram. And then you're stuck raising it that Atlantean child support again. The fourth step of the map is yoga stretching.

It doesn't even call it anything else anymore. In the algal system of magic, there are three techniques of yoga. They are called the forward bend, the backward bend, or cobra, which is also what they call it in yoga, in the twists or windmill. Follow the pictures and breathe deeply and evenly in the stretch. I sent you an email. Go ahead and tap back to that email

And check out the first image. Oh, I see the rendering of osmodeus there too That is they have rendering of how can I forget the rendering of asmodeus? That's what as modus looks like So I hope you've been picturing that I don't think yeah The most embarrassing thing you could find in a seventh grade metalhead sketchbook. It's a tragedy. It's kind of a clumsy Neil Gaiman's self-portrait. I think he's supposed to have wings, but I thought they were pickles at first.

They look like pickles. They're kind of bananas. He's got, I don't know, he's into the raw fruit thing. So, yeah. Yeah, those could be bananas. God, he's got I don't know he's into the raw fruit thing. So yeah Yeah, that's good. He bananas God this stringy. It's like a it's like someone who's never Seen art like I don't know it's it's it's so childlike first attempt

It's hard to even explain it. There's no perspective or depth or shading I don't know what do you call it, or a diagonal fucking, perspective, it's just like, I hate it so much, it's driving me crazy. He's got the nipples though, Sean. So, little ghost outlines and nipples, little ghost nipples. One of them is like, what? Great dead center and his pectoral

and the other one's in the right spot. In my drawing. He's got lazy nipple. He's got lazy nipple. Maybe he's in the middle of shaking his titties. And they just, it is very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, try not to come for one month after this.

Shimmer, shimmer, shimmer, shimmer, shimmer. Try not to come for one month after this. Shimmy, shimmy, shimmy, shimmy, shimmy. Okay. So then there are pictures of him in just like, just pants in a t-shirt. This is Diabli to Ordo Elgul on his little yoga carpet and he's just doing some yoga. He's bending down and touching his toes for the devil. I do have a lot of Christian books that claim that yoga is evil. Like it's mysticism and at least frowned upon you

Can advance to the second image which is slightly more terrifying yoga Dragon wakes up and stops his feet. He's practicing strangling This is a cut 11 year old He's making that's him the same thing still on his little yoga carpet in case you were going to be terrified by this. In a really lovely room, holding his fists out like little claws, like I will kill you with my little claws, it's adorable. It's like everything else he does.

Completely adorable. Yeah. Let's see, the fifth step of the map. Remember, this is to awaken the power of the demon before us and within us The fifth step of the map is breath control That's you six shots like it on the floor or on a piece of carpet set the palms of the hands on the knees Keep the back straight the devil loves good posture With each form of breathing remember to extend the belly outward when you inhale and pull

the belly in toward the spine. Okay. That's the exact instructions that Diamond Dallas Page gives me in the DDP yoga video I watched sometimes. So you might have been accidentally summoning a demon this whole time. I've been accidentally summoning the Diamond Dallas demon. Yeah, a lot of these things. I'm constantly summoning demons if this is I'm currently summoning the time in Dallas, demon. Yeah, a lot of these, I'm constantly summoning demons

if this is, I'm scared now. And I've refused to ejaculate for 25 years, so that's a lot of demons. Oh God, you're so full of demons. Dragon power. You've got the dragon power within you. Never let it out. It's kinda dangerous.

I can't even pick up a pencil without shattering it. The first man to dick fight you will just be dissolved by a thousand demons. And the first man to be me will be washed away. Blast is straight to hell. The force of your orgasm. The sixth step of the map is toltemic shamanic exercises. And they are the thing you're looking at, dragon pulls down fists, dragon wakes up

and stomps its feet, dragon flying. He says, follow the pictures and remember to squeeze the whole body as you do the technique. So it's a dynamic resistance. Now you're doing some dynamic resistance exercise. A lot of bodies. Yeah, sure. Again, for the devil.

Remember, this is all for the devil that you're eating raw foods, doing yoga and dynamic resistance. And also, not coming. Don't come to the devil. He hates that. It reminds me of Angela Lansbury's positive moves, except for like, except for the not coming part.

Yeah. Yeah. Oh, God, there's that scene where she just pulls out the lotion and just like, since I start every day with a full body lotion, massage, you're like, oh, she's sick. Of course. Yeah. She's in the bathtub. She's like, Satan loves when you take a bubble bath. Oh, Satan loves self-care. They say women are sexual postmenopausal. This isn't true and I can prove it over the course of this bubble bath. No, keep the camera on me. It's a workout video.

You have so much of this memorized shot. I love that. I love that. You've dealt. Unfortunately, I don't. I'm jealous. I do that complete workout from start to finish, and I do mean finish. Ha ha ha. Now that we've done all of our steps, which is mostly yoga and some stretching

and breathing exercises and eating raw foods and not coming, the seventh and last step of the map is witchcraft. Finally. Yes. I thought we'd get to this much sooner. Invoke me with the words, Iarang allorin as modius akin Have we looked up that Latin? I don't think it's like I think it's made up. Okay. Do this and I will come speak to you like candles in my name

If you need if you need to ask for help and I will help you cast spells you are a witch You are legally a witch in the state of Indiana. It's like those courses that certify you as a minister online and you sign up and you're like, do you believe in Holy Match? Yeah, sure. Well, you've got it, buddy. You're a pastor now. You know what, it doesn't even give you spells.

You have to do all the work to make up the spells yourself. Well, this is just, let me be clear. The book is not over. That's would be the first way. You were just certified in the state of Kansas to become a witch. You're just like a light oversight witch. Now, you can tell people you've awakened the witch power within you. And now, and now, you can marry an you're you but awakened the witch power within you and now and now you can marry an odd yoss born fan. If you want. Okay, there is it said that

was last up. It lied. It just doesn't call the next one a step. It says when all the steps of the map are taken the sleeping dragon awakens. This is the chemical transformation. The power of the demon star, the final mystery. So he's talking about the seaman inside you, turning into sorcery? No, this is the next step to cement like your power now. Now you've awakened as a witch, this is the final, the final mystery. Take the left hand and grip the penis, lifting it up, take the right hand and grip the testicles lightly, shake the testicles like shaking a rattle. What am I supposed to do with this?

Remember earlier, he said, if you're a lady, you could be a witch or goddess or whatever. A goddess. Now it seems they're being left out. They literally requires a penis. I bet you could find one if you told a group of people, hey guys, I'm working on becoming a witch, I'm just gonna need somebody's dog. For some intense demonic tug.

I think no way I would raise my hand for that. Oh, your dog heard intense demonic tugging and freaked out. This move is called the Rattle. Yes, yes, you're infantilizing. Please, the demonic Rattle, which is where, again, no demon voice this time, take the left hand and grip the penis, lifting it up, take the right hand and grip the testicles lightly, and then shake the testicles like shaking a Rattle.

A she's... She's got Rattle's mommy. Bounce it him around. What does that do? It's first to... what does it do? You're awakening the power of the dragon. But hold on, we're not done yet. It's how you don't come.

As I think he's figured it out. He's like, you know, you're going to, stuff's going to happen when you're down there. So I've developed a technique that will never let you come. Step two is the tap. Take the left hand and grip the penis, lifting it up. Take the right hand and with the fingertips gently tap the testicles. It's just, it's very penis involves heavy for what I thought we would be doing. Well, just to start, let me, let me read

number three, the spot press. Take the left hand and grip the penis lifting it up Take the thumb of fingers the right hand and pinch the loose skin of the testicles Okay, move around so that you spot press each area being careful to only pinch a little amount of the skin at a time You might recognize this is checking yourself for testicular cancer Checking yourself medically Is this trying? Is this like a health conscious book? It's very stressful. Is this like a health conscious book?

Is it trying to trick like shlubby Satanists to take at least taking care of themselves? Yeah, just getting them moving, making sure they're healthy. It was such a left turn for me. I never would have guessed that all of a sudden it was going to become that anatomy sin trick because before we were just doing yoga and eating vegetables and all of a sudden it was like, okay now we're gonna get

And now for the dick stuff Step 8 let go of your dick find a therapist in your local area and work on yourself for nine to ten months This one's called the field of pills You stand with the feet slightly apart your knees bent slightly in the back straight. With one hand grip the genitals and the other hand rub the skin all around the genitals. Just all around him. So he's so specific on some parts of the genitals and now it's just like, you just stick your hand in their paw around.

Geez. I am running out of demon voice, but this last one, it needs it. It's for you Sean. Strengthening the penis. Standing in the same position as before, gripped the testicles with the left hand and the penis with the right hand just below the head of the penis. Using the right hand, squeeze the blood into the head of the penis with a pumping motion. This causes the blood to flow into the head of the penis and stay there. This billed tremendous strength in the penis. Okay. It's gelking. Yeah, we're gelking. We're gelking for the devil. It's only been like what four or five

episodes and we're already gelking again. If gelking is the common thread that unites all of our universe, it's the hot dog universe is held that unites all of our universe. It's the hot dog universe is held together with the atoms of Jelking. Now, to what end are we building this power? Yeah, why do we need our penis so bad? What's that? Is it what we use to sum it the devil? Well, with all the yoga and the raw foods and not smoking and not fucking too much, fucking a little bit.

Not too much. Right, so weak. With all your guns. More than she deserves. That was all to make us witch. So the penis stuff is not necessary for you to become a witch, but that's for you to awaken the dragon. So I think that's maybe what I'm putting together is

you can become a witch just through all of that stuff, right? But to channel as as modius this specific demon, he likes the dick stuff. Right. He likes the witch. Nice. Nice. firm head. Which is like a universal, but you're going to need a real strong penis for asmodius. Okay, so it's a sexist demon who's only into the penis stuff got it right Weirdest shape is possible swell up weird parts of it. That's what he's into. I like your weird. I like your weird dick

Thank you as Monious For you my lord can you make it weirder though? Do you want to you guys want to guess what the next step is? I could never get. I have, okay, so we were doing healthy then we were doing mutilated our genitals. We already did exercise. What's another area of our life that we,

that finances, where we can like start a 401k for the devil. As Modi is like a balanced pay account. He does not like overdraft fees. Maybe community, maybe like start a support group in your community or some after-school programs. Oh yeah. No, it's breath control again. Okay.

But this time it's magical. After practicing with the following techniques for some time, the power of each one Okay. But this time it's magical. After practicing with the following techniques for some time, the power of each one may be brought into your aura and the environment of the witch with a strong thought. These are called Moudras, or sacred hand positions performed together with breathing. Oh, sweetly. And we're going to do some light ninja shit, what we're going to call it, Moodra's or Sacred Breathing. This is the first breathing technique is direction of energy,

which through this Moodra, the energy of the witch is directed to the will of the one employing it, it generates psychic power and the ability to use telepathy. Okay. There's another type of breathing that is for healing. Used with positive breath, this Moodera gives the which the ability to heal themselves or others. However, when used with negative breath, it can direct the psychic powers to curse or

kill. See, this is what I'm looking for from demon summoning. I want like a direct one-to-one correlation of like, you do this, this happens. Breathe. And it's so easy. You're just controlling your breath and making a little symbol with your hand and thinking about it and you can kill with your mind.

Yes, very conventional thing. I'm just saying. I want to say this is starting to get dumb to me. For this reason, I feel like it's starting to. After the genital punching. If you're going down your heel skill tree, that is super far away from the cursed skill tree. As I see, he's like, oh, you can use his power to heal.

You can also use it to harm. It's like, no, you can't do it. Those are fucking antithetical schools of magic. Ridiculous. Yeah, you got to commit those points. Yeah, one way or the other. They can't do both. Diobleto. Diobleto is never played Diablo despite his name seriously. You're met somebody's like

half white mage half black mage. What get out of here? Like I sounded like a grandma trying to talk to a grandson about Nintendo get the fuck Turn into Michael Jackson Shippen-dun! Turn into Michael Jackson. Shippen-dun! Our next breathing power is Premonition. This mootera gives complete control over the functions of the physical body.

It gives the ability to sense danger, spirits, see the future, and enter into states of extreme stillness. Also, the power to withstand extremes of heat and cold. It can also be used to remain motionless for long periods of time. So, so useful. And now I'd like you to refer back to your email. And before you scroll down, I want you to picture these intense mystical hand motions that you're doing.

These are like sort of ninjutsu Naruto style style like finger-tutting that you're going to be doing with breathing and check out your first hand position. This is for premonition. Okay. Can you describe this elaborate magic? It's just like to a nice couple holding hands. It's just intertwined fingers. It's just prayer. I swear this is tricking people into Christianity. At the end, you'll be like, guess what? Hospodias is actually the Lord. You stupid piece of shit. Oh my God. It's been an anagram for Jesus Christ all this time. Nobody check into that. Yeah, it's just prayer hands. It's just what your fingers interlocked. No, no special anything.

It's just what your fingers interlocked. No special anything. And below that is mastery of time and space. Okay. The mastery of time and space position. You wanna describe this one, Lydia? I would call it double-prayer hands. It's just two hands stacked on top. You just put one fist on top of the other

and you have the following power, which is mastery of time and space. This moodra gives the which the ability to stun others with a glance, a touch, or a spoken word that is infused with psychic power. It also allows them to alter the flow of time in the area of a six foot radius around them. Okay, that is so specific.

I like how the idea of the demon like with a measuring stick holds still. I want to see. Okay, this is about six feet, I'd say. I mean, the idea of the demon like with a measuring stick. Hold still. I want to see. Okay, this is about six feet. I'd say I mean, how tall are you? How tall are you? What's the what's the radius? No, I'm sorry. It's a seven foot radius. This I can do is like wind. I can contour like wind. Sorry. So mastery of time and space is once you like invite time in like That's a whole new can of worms. I guess that we have to deal with so if you have a six foot time bubble Uh

And you stop that for one second you like you're traveling like 24,000 like miles an hour through the stars and like Miles an hour through the stars and You know, it sounds like a whips ass. Yeah, no, it's gonna be awesome I'm just saying like you you pop at a time for just a second and when it you pop back in you're in deep space or the center of the Earth is is the point I'm trying to make Is this has fool you? Yeah, sounds not ideal

Yeah, I just think he's not thinking about any of this. And this is the Nick Pattiwack. He's doing the Nick Pattiwack. Yes, well breathing. Because it's the two steps to this. So if you're breathing and doing Pattiwack, you're going to find yourself catapulted into the sun. I don't know if Esmodius is like a details guy, you know.

Except he has the exact diameter of your time powers. I don't know if Esmodius is like a details guy, you know Except he has the exact diameter of your time powers when it comes to your dick. He's real detail-oriented Sometimes I guess sometimes they grab the left screw to pull it out like a bat wing and the other ones is like just just slap it around We're done with four-play play. Just crazy with it. Get weird with it. Shaft head, balls. I don't give a shit. Jeff Jenner goes to Jenner.

Generally pubic mound it. There is some generally pubic mound for the devil in this. Finally, is control of the elements. This mooder gives the ability to physically and spiritually blend with the elements of nature at its highest level. It gives the power of walking without making sound or leaving footprints and even true invisibility. Okay, now it's a major shit. Hell yes.

Sean, I'm not kidding when I say the next section, the five elements of the ninja. I think you're actually brought in ninjas. Wow. Just, I want to say one page. I want to say that this book has so first banned like seven feet of my library. Like, finally we, I was waiting for you to catch on. Yeah, this is every power that my library will provide you all in one book. That's why I brought it as I was reading it and I was like, this is Sean's entire library. Like, he's just mixing and mashing it all and then giving it to the devil,

which have you ever tried that? Have you tried like offering some of it to the devil? I might give you some good dickpounds. When we find out later that Sean wrote this, he's Diably Toe. Yeah, that's something that snapped inside of me. If I just lost my mind and memory and woke up in this room, this is who I would become. If I just read these books, like, oh, this must be how a person's supposed to live their lives. It's exactly this.

For the devil, if I came to and remembered nothing but the devil. The five elements of the ninja, it's only a single page, or like a really short section. They're doing the hand you can see, and they're doing the earth should feel stable and grounded like a really short section. They're doing the hand you can see when they're doing the earth should feel stable and grounded like a stone focused on the root chakra, which is just below the genitals. Oh, he's right. Laser focused on the genitals. Even the ninjas are laser focused on the genitals. You won't believe this, but water should feel like water. Emotion feelings, fire should feel like fire hot and explosive power air should feel like water. Emotion feelings. Fire should feel like fire, hot and explosive power.

Air should feel like air. A gentle breeze or a strong wind of thought and logic. And finally, the last power of the ninja is the void. It should feel like silence and wisdom. On the dead end. Huh. Whenever you add a fifth element, it's always kind of stupid. You know, it's always

a let down. Yeah, there's always, you got the main element. Heart. Love. He's like, no, check this out. Void. But like a wise kind of void. What is the void? It's fucking lame. An absence, how about wisdom? That's like the absence of, no, that's not, it doesn't hold together, fifth element sucks. Yeah, the fifth element is just nothing. Wait, no, it's a great movie. Yeah, the movie rules.

The movie rules. Yeah, and it's the fifth element was in the top five Captain Planet characters. Yeah, so that's still sucks. That's not, it wouldn't be an end Wouldn't it be a good one? Now Lydia has raised some valid concerns. That was the end of the book. Oh my god.

You have learned how to eat raw vegetables, so not smoke only fuck occasionally. And then now you breathe a little weird and play padded cake and you can launch your dick off through time and space and then something about Ninjaels for no pair of reasons. That was a book. That was a turn. I kept expecting that to be like some sort of a spell because he's like, hey you'll have these powers to do this stuff but like no real means to do it. No like way

to test it. I mean, these people don't really use the scientific method, but like, you'd still be like, here's some applications for the powers that you will get someday, right? Like telepathy is like, all right, so like, can I go to the bank and command them to give me money? Can I like, you know, ask my mail man to forget that he keeps catching me forcing my penis in strange shapes Faw sig my penis through the male plot and trying to make it look like a Nellum below made it yeah, I was expecting more like Pagentry man to say

I was expecting like you know you guys more candles more like collecting of ingredients like like, you know, blood, I guess, stuff like that. Now, that's funny, because you've mentioned a few concerns with this book, specifically the Dick stuff, how Dick's entry gets. And Sean's mentioned another concern, which is that there's no real turn or no real point to use for this, but it's like, you don't get power from this. So what you've essentially done is just done a bunch of weird dick stuff and kind of tried to practice good living. And now you are in one with the devil. That's because women get a whole different book.

Oh, so lucky. This is Libra Younger Lilith, the book for women. No, the same man wrote this. Yep, and if you wanna scroll down just one one more image back in your email, you can meet Lilith. This is your demon ladies. He also did weird nips on her. Yeah, her implant doctor got a kind of slipped on a banana peel mid surgery.

Yeah, it's definitely the most virginal demon book I've ever seen. I think this is what tits look like. Absolutely. This is a real first try at drawing tits. It's the letter U with a little circle directly in the center. Now, this is going to be telecom myself, but long before I understood puberty or what, what, what pornography was, because this would be like the late 80s, early 90s. If I was drawing a nodding picture, it would look exactly.

Yes. Exactly like this. It would be my best guest at a titty, and it would look a little bit like my mom. Every person does this drawing, A naked Brockway's mom. Exactly like this. Yeah, I'm so serious that I feel like this person has never seen a naked woman before because she has the support as if she's wearing a bra, but she's not wearing a bra. They're like too perky. Why did I zero in on that?

It's the power of the devil. Anything is possible. Yeah, I guess there's a breathing technique Okay, I'm sure there is spaghetti like hair draped over one of the boobs. So it's like I don't kind of de-sexualizes it for me. It's sort of like uh Like a bold artistic choice to sort of make it seem more casual. She's not presenting sexually She's just like well that's too bad because she's super fucking You won't believe the the demon for ladies is real sexy

I'm not gonna read this in the demon voice either because it's it's a different one. This is I'm written Younger lila. I kind of want to go through the whole thing, but I also desperately want to get to the genital grabbing part Well, here's her shorter intro. Lilla says, I am the stealer of hearts. I am the seducer of men. I am the beginning and I am the end. I am life and I am death. I am the younger Lilla.

I have shown myself onto Diableto in the form. Why is she the younger little one? Because she's fucking hot. That one was Diableto's mother. Okay. I have shown myself on to Diableto in the form of a flying shadow with the body of a woman and the wings and feet of a bird. He trembled and shakes and terror before me.

Until the time I give him the greatest ecstasy. You? Oh. Oh my. With my bird. That's a bird woman burnt woman clutching and clawing at his genitals. Yeah, I scream and he loves it. He thinks it's so hot. Baka, baka, get it again in the night. I grip his left testicle with my talent and I tap on it. We call this the right. That's not Adlet. That's in the book, I know it. No, that's not in the book.

But he does in the first paragraph of this sexy demon he made up. Fucker, he fucks her. Of course he does. Of course he does. I think that's so. This is such a lonely idiot. Yeah, like, why didn't he fuck the other demon?

I'm mad. Yeah. He did, the other demon likes to watch him do weird ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha it's into it for some reason. In the same way that my lord and consort, Asmodius, has revealed the names and formulas of the first order of the Al-Gul, I now reveal the mystery of the second order, for the veil is mine to lift and the ecstasy mine to give. For unto the first order is the knowledge of Asmodius and the formula of the dragon power. Unto the second order is the great school of witchcraft and the rich wills of the demon star.

So, that evens things out a little bit right Lydia? Because the guys, the guys get like pound your dick around and don't eat meat and the girls get magic. Okay, that does seem fair. I'm just very scared of what they're gonna tell me. I have to put in my vagina to get magic To perform the alchemy of magic a Cold bath to perform the cold bath technique simply fill a tub with cold water and get inside Oh, so merge your entire body in the cold water for a few minutes This will cause the air to be pulled deeply into the lungs and cause the skin to tighten all over the body Especially the sexual okay, there it is, there it is.

Make sure to get warm as soon as you get out of the cold bath. It's nice that she's a mommy mode. Yeah, that's cold plunging, that's huge on TikTok now. They're like, oh, it's so good for you to like jump in the ice water. Do they even realize it's for the devil's wife? Probably not. Those fucking TikTok kids. Step 2 is pulling sunlight into the body.

Oh no. To pull sunlight into the body. Hold on, it's not even. To pull sunlight into the body. Form a ring with a thumb and first finger so that there is a tiny circle you may look through. Let the light of the sun pass through this hole and into your eye. Inhale deeply. Feeling the sun entering into your hole being pulled in, close the eye, exhale, and feel the energy of the sun spread through your hole aura.

Then do this on the other side, perform the sexer size three to seven times. Well, that's really not bad, especially when... To pull the sun into the sexual... Oh, I get it! It's pulling the sun! You son of a bitch! It's supposed to be the sun. You're supposed to be the sun. Exposed into the sun, so the light shines directly on them. Inhale, and feel yourself pulling the light into them.

Exhale, and feel the energy flowing through your entire aura. Perform this technique, 21 times a day. 21 times a day? If you're both canal towards the sun. It's just the thing with the eye finger, just like three to seven, you'll get it over with, and then put your vagina canal towards the sun. It's just the thing with the eye finger, just like three to seven, you know, get it over with, and then put your vagina right in the sun for 21 times, just long enough for Diablyto to get off.

Well, no, twice a week. There was a thing years ago where Shaileen Woodley, it was like, yeah, I always make sure my vagina gets sunlight because it's good for you. Like, he's just googling, you think celebrities have said. It really is just everything. It's everything we've ever covered.

Just crevped into one book and for the devil. It's incredible. So we've got it. Yeah, I'm impressed. This is going to present. With this, with this, we are ready to cast our first real spell.

I have chosen a general summoning of demons for sort of like, whatever, With this, with this, we are ready to cast our first real spell. I have chosen a general summoning of demons for sort of like, whatever, just like a hang sash. Oh, we're gonna fuck that demon. Or like, power or fucking a demon. Let's note all of our goals, hang sash, power, fucking a demon. The younger Lillis demon, her powers included what, like, ecstasy to give and no second

thing yeah okay so I mean because she's a woman well yeah I understand I'm seeing it from the author's perspective his understanding of the world is try not to jerk off so much and women love sex god I bet they do if I ever meet one I'm gonna talk to her about it. I bet I know what it looks like too. Like she grabs my dick and taps on it and she shakes it around like a rattle. I'm sure that's what it looks like. I know what titties look like. They're just like men's chess.

And kind of like mommy. However, I should know all of these spells are in the book for women. So maybe if it's not exclusive to women, you at least have to like put your genitals in the sun like the women to do these. That's the implications for anyway. So now that you've put your vagina into the sun and taken a cold bath, which are basically the only qualifications you're ready. So, E, I only have it what's easier than you guys actually?

This this might be a feminist. Yeah, you know what? I think you might have accidentally done that at some point like you might have just had kind of a weird day Oh, yeah, so you're you might be a witch. I think I probably am yeah for sure. Did you go camping? I think a river camp. Yeah, that would all all right. There we go If you've been camping as a woman, you're a witch and you can summon the devil that's incredible. We're so lucky Cuz there's a lot of stuff you guys got to do that. I was worried. I was gonna have to do we do a lot of that But I can't meet fucking come on Yeah, we did whatever we Oh yeah, we did it whenever we won.

Yeah, there's no qualifications. You get to eat meat and go camping. Oh yeah, that's the best. Oh, three times a week. What a treat. What a treat it is to be a woman. What powers the feminine spirit? This first step of the spell is universal for all spells.

So these are the only steps you need to take before the individual spell casting comes into effect. You enter into the magic circle after drawing it on the ground or on the back of a rug or carpet. The distance across the circle should be your height along with a triangle. Now you raise a magic wand, which is a plain wooden stick half as long as you are tall. That's what a magic wand. That's a sand. That's what a magic wand is. It's what a magic wand is. That's a sand. That's what a magic wand is. It's just a stick. And you say,

I am on car, a zezil-ekin. Oh shit, we're summoning a demon. We're doing it right now. It's happening. A zezil, I conjure you to open the sabat. Bring forth the male and female demons. Bring forth the dragons of the elements. Let the witches of the algul rejoice in the presence of the ancient ones.

As we will so must it be. And in parentheses it says, Perforce fell sex magic or simply commune with the spirits here. I do, have we looked up algul? I feel like that's only in Batman. I was gonna say I'm only remembering Batman. It was Ross algul. But it kind of sounds like GOOL, you know?

Yeah, and I feel like the Diableto. I feel like he's the demon or something. Like I think in the comics, they say it means something. But does it mean, does his name mean the little devil from Batman? He does. It means little devil Batman. I'm looking at that.

More devil. The little devil from Batman is totally a silver age comics character. Oh for sure. He must have. He had Batman that little fit-dimensional amped. There had to have been like a crossover with that Archie character, that Harvey comic's character. Wait, that's Batman. This is written by Batman.

His name and Arabic translates to head of the ghoul. Okay. Okay. That's pretty good. I'll give it that part to the whole. That's the third penis exercise. Head of the ghoul. Okay. Okay. Okay. That's pretty good. I'll give that part to you. That's the third penis exercise. Head of the ghoul. You squeeze it really hard until it gets weird and dull.

Just like I like. Asmodeous. It would that was the spell. What I just did there. Just randomly summoning. Those two sentences. And you can use that spell too, as he says, perform spells, sex magic, or simply commune with the spirit.

So you can get power, fuck, or just hang out, exactly like we all guessed. I was grasping a wand, but it is just barely not half of my height. But it is my penis. Everybody, so I wasn't gonna say the punchline, because it was just so plainly obvious. I was talking about a dick. When you are,

Are you summoning both of them at once in the scenario? And you were several dragons, yes. You were summoning by saying, I am on call, Azazel, Ikin, you are summoning, Azazel, I conjure you to open this about, bring forth the male and female demons. So you're just getting, you know, the business.

Bring forth the dragons of the elements, which I guess is that dick stuff. You're getting male and female demons to like do, you know, gelking. Like feelings to me. I thought that was an allegory for feelings. Oh, okay. So just as a flood of emotions

while you watch these demons fuck. and then the witches of the alcohol Rejoice in the presence of the ancient ones as we will so must it be just a spell cheerleaders Let's you do anything every good sport needs some cheerleaders and when you're done Which I take it to mean come when you've come you say and now may all spirits return on to the place where they are from So basically you've just off on a triangle. Yeah, you don't have to. We've masturbated on it. You kick them out. And you end on an REM song. And now my all spirits return onto the place where they are from, which is, you know, whatever, go home. Go. We're done. Stand in the place where you are.

Now, jerk off on a triangle. Think about the demons fucking think about as modius. Wonder why you got a gel. Is that is there a picture of that below the female demon? There is. Thank you for it. We're finally there. Your last picture. Sean's going to love this. This is so incredible. It's a little boy on a pentagram,

which is just surrounded by all the powers of 1960s Hanna Barbera, and he's summoning a hide. Like, just a swarm of snakes from a triangle. From a triangle. Oh, and there are little tiny stars all around him drawn exactly as you would draw around Metallica on your trapper keeper in in fifth grade. None of those snakes are a sexy lady. They're I'd like to point out he's gonna come on that. This is something of five year old would draw if like they hadn't spoken for

three weeks. Like if you found them on the highway and they didn't talk, this is how they would tell you what had happened to them. I can't do it with the hardest clips we've ever done. There's no perspective in any of this. It absolutely is just like a little boy with weird arms. It's giant shoulders. It's like you were in 80's shoulder pads. It's adorable shoulders. It's like you were an 80-shoulder pad. It's adorable in just a really sad way. And this is the sabbat. This is how you summon all the demons'

hell. That's an illustration of it. It's less sexual than I thought it would be though. Absolutely. I mean, this will of course go in the podcast right up. So everybody will see it. There is a final note. We're going to end on this final note. It's kind of long, so feel free to cut in. Note, the Sabat is a general invocation of the forces of the elements, the witches of the past, and the infernal divine. It can be performed simply to commune with the spirits, or to give increased energy to acts of magic or spellcasting. It can also create a sacred space for sex magic. Always back to the sex magic.

The demons are brought forth from the triangle and into the magic circle with the witch or witches. If performing sex magic let two witches performing the right say to each other these words, the great right of Asmodius and the younger Lilith is this. Let the man invoke me with the words Iar Avage Allorin, Asmodius Aachen. Then I will be his God and dwell within him. Then let him invoke the younger Lilith

into the body of his lover with the words Renek Vyasa Avag. Lilith Lirok. Then let the woman invoke the younger Lilith and become her. Okay. Then, then may she call me into the body of her lover. In this way, the dragon power rages within them, fucking, then let them fuck. I got, I feel like there's two Liliths fucking right now.

Yeah, I was just about to say, I think they're both Lilith at this point. Yep, I think there's, this guy think they're both little at this point. Yep. I think there's This guy's now going through like gender identity issues He's like you know, it'd be great is if I could fuck a lady, but also hear me out. I was also a lady both of them demons I don't I don't give him that much credit I think he was playing a Gendered demon shell game and lost track. Yeah, that might be where the spell was. I think that's what happened.

And now he's got two hot witches, and he thought maybe they would fuck only now. One of the witches is him, and he's fucking a demon. Yes. And anyway, maybe you thought I was editorializing, but the last line of that note, and the book ends with these exact words, fucking dot, dot, dot,

then let them fuck Like yada yada what sex magic is in general. He was like do sex magic and it's like is that just regular sex I guess That's replacing your old creppy wife with this hot little demon less and also yourself with that also yourself. Yeah, if we're being honest Ideal sex you're not sitting across the room from a couple of hot ladies in my right fellas. You've mangled your dick nobody wants that I Think I think between all of this between this like lost shell game where he lost Just a complete control over which demon was where and he wound up accidentally a woman. I think he's getting really frustrated with the way he's trying to write fucking into this. And I think that last sentence is to be read like fucking just I don't know fucking what the fuck is it. Why am I explaining sex magic? You get it? You made the snake triangle?

The idea of him editing it and getting frustrated the whole time. Like, okay, so the demons in you and they're fucking and then you are the demon and you're fucking and then we're both, we're both fucking demons I think. Oh, oh fuck no. Cut us these terrible communication scales. It's like a word problem. If this, if you sub into this demon into fuck and then also into yourself you submit this demon to fuck. How many demons are there?

Which demon ended up in Brad? And which demon ended up in Kelly? If Brad and Kelly kiss are both demons kissing, is it, huh? Soul Frecks. Most people get it wrong. Click here. The craft is nitratis, nitunas, shickd in the hundasau, fiora and astunda, Cupsha, dukitsi duwa. I'm not hunda.

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Un-Andy Armando Navar, Badger, the Ferrell truck that implies you can tame a truck. You can't! Benjamin Sironon, Bim Talser, Brandon Garlock, the truck magician. What's that behind your ear? It's a truck! Brian Sailor, Brian Whitney, Barry Tumat, the adult truck of Old Brown Truck. Sarah, Rev, Chance, McDermott, Chris Brower, Clementine Danger, the truck who sees a therapist.

Curious glare, Dan B. Truck Therapist! That FM Entertainment. Dean Castello. Donald Finney. Doctor. Aquard. Dusty's red title. Three child trucks in a trench coat.

Trying to sneak into. This are rated truck rally. Eric Spalding. Every ZIG. Fancy Shark, Jellaho, The Well-Hung Truck, and the reason this truck rally needs an R rating. Greg Cunningham, Pam Bode, Horaka, Harvey Peng-Queenie, The Hot Truck. That's not a sex thing, it's overheating. Hot fart, the hot truck. Also, not a sex thing, it's

the Olin. Hock, the hot truck. Who doesn't know it, so it's still pretty attainable. Jaber, Al Aiden, Jet, Oroski, Jim, Sultor, aka Dr. Truckopolis. John Dean, John Hector McFarland John McCammon The Truck Who graduated college John Minkoff Joseph Sears

Josh Fabian Josh Quixel The Truck Who's A Billionaire Not the driver It's the truck itself Josh S.

Joshua Graves Ken Paisley K.N. M. M. M. Jahishapel. Knows Truck Jitsu. Mac Bizarreville is the only truck. Who knows how to counter truck Jitsu? Matt Riley.

Max Baroy. The man who swore revenge. Odd, all truck kind. Nobody tell him. He's also a truck. Michael Lair. Michael Wells Wells Mickey Lohman Mike styles aka Dr. truck and Stein Mojoo aka truck and stuns monster

truck and D Neil Bailey Neal shaper neku one-a-war The truck who's a man who's a man, who's a jungle cat, who's an urban vigilante, who's a little bit sassy. Nick, Ralston, Ozzy, Olen, Patrick, Herbs, Rachel, the mood truck.

Don't assume you know what the colors mean. Pop, pop, pop, poppop-pink is for destruction. Riannin, Sarkovsky, Sean Chase, Spade Reception. Super-not, the Funkadelic truck who became lost in time and is now king of the dinosaurs and prefers to be called... King, Funkolicious, Truckosaurus Rex III. King Pongolicious Trockosaurus Rex III Ted H. the coward, Trock who assassinated the great King Pongolicious Trockosaurus Rex III Thomas Kavatzos, Timilayyi, Tom Tsukula, Tommy G, Wailing Russell, Yanis Ionitis, the only truck to discover a new type of cave, Salamander! Yossarian and featuring the truck sensation sweeping truck nation, kids loving,

bombs warning, dead, but grudgingly respected, even if they'll never admit it. Come on down this Sunday and see the one and only, Toasty God! The truck eating truck! Come on down this Sunday and see the one and only! Toasty God! The truck eating truck!