The Dogg Zzone by 1900HOTDOG - Dogg Zzone 9000 - Episode 137, WMAC Masters: A Man Can Dream with Merritt K

Episode Date: August 23, 2023

PODCASTERS PREPARE FOR BATTLE! Brockway is the cruel karate overlord who demands Seanbaby and guest, Merritt K, get into the dome to fight an episode of WMAC Masters, the 1995 live-action choreographed karate show. Don't worry! Their clothes are dome-proof! We thought of that!

1,900 hot dog! 1,900 hot dog! A podcast slammed with maximum height! Say hot dog podcast worked! Yeah! When you taste that nitrate power, you're in the dog zone for an hour! Come on!

You know the number! 1,900 hot dog! 1,900 hot dog! Welcome to the Dogzone 9000, the official podcast of 1900 Hot Dog, America's final comedy website, Rest in Peace comedy. We write funny articles every day, no ads, no robots, no SEO exploitation, it's revolutionary in the sense that it's the internet from like the year 2001.

We're still doing that. So come support talented comedians who have looked into the face of change and said, nah, nah, thanks. Patreon.com slash 1900 hot dog. We're not wrong, you're wrong. I'm Princess Robert Brockway, and with me is the internet's yin yang man,

Sean Baby. Oh, yeah, thank you. Wushu Master, it's a pleasure to be here. And our guest superstar, Camillean, machine, Merit K. Wow, all three rolled into one. Rolled into one abomination. Should not be. Yeah.

I hope you don't tell me that. I'm good. Yeah, thanks for having me back. It's always a pleasure to be here. We love to have you. Yeah, did you get a chance to watch WMAC today? So in other words I'm asking, did you have a good day? Yeah, yeah, had a great day with my fucking Tattoo assassins as characters, the cast of Dillium McMaster's, you got. Definitely remember all their names. Definitely remember all of their cool things that they do. All their second.

Their unique personalities. Yeah. You're right. Tradition. Yeah. God. What a what a what a just what a show a moment in time, you know, we're skipping all our banter. Are you playing something fun, Merit? Am I playing something fun? Yeah. I kind of swore off video games for a while after I got laid off of my video game job. And I got

so mad at destiny. And I don't I really as speaking as a listener of the podcast I truly don't want to poison the podcast with destiny talk too late. So yeah, I get silly get still pissed at us when we talk about Yeah, so I'm not gonna talk about it. I'd stop playing it though, but a friend mine gave me a steam deck So I have been playing remnant too. Oh cool game. I think you guys talked about. Oh, I don't want to repeat. Yeah, I have not a I'm not gotten it yet, but I ordered it. It'll be here on Thursday. Oh, sorry. Wait, what? Like a hard copy of it. I only got my hard copy. Yeah. Okay. That's fucking the internet. Fuck technology. Hey, you know what? That's I love that because that's like I remember when I and I

I'm breaking my own whole credo that I just stated but when I bought Destiny 2 the first time I went into a game stop and bought it on a disc for five dollars. Did they ask you why you were there? Did you get lost? I was like because I didn't know how modern games worked, because I hadn't played any for a while at the time. And I was like, oh, OK, so I do this. But then I also have to like, buy all these expansions to kind of experience it.

But yeah, they were like, can you shoot? You're not here for funco pops. We don't actually sell. Where did you find this? We don't actually sell games. Those cases are empty. I could find so I can ask around, I guess. Just a little piece of paper that you have to take up like a Toys or Us. You got Toys or Us. I love that.

God, that was a fucking best. No, I think that's cool. I have some physical copies of games. I'm looking over in my shelf right now. I have I have site training. Train your eyes for the Nintendo DS on the physical copy. I keep that locked in the window. Does that work? I think that's because I bought my mom a bunch of DS games and gave her my old DSI like six or seven years ago, but then she never actually played any of them. And so she just gave them back to me.

And then I have a bunch of switch physical copies of games that I was buying for a while. I think I bought the Capcom Fighting One because I was like trying to tell Capcom that I wanted another Darkstalkers game. And then I was sealed copy of House of the Dead 2 for Dreamcast from Japan, which I'm not really sure how that arrived here,

but. Yeah, the TV and the Duster to. It's about 2000s, you just have one. It's like a command one. Yeah, yeah, I don't know. The Steam Deck though, it's so heavy. I have a Switch Lite, which for me is like the perfect hand-held designed by Mann. It's the form factor is have a switch light, which for me is like the perfect hand held designed by man.

It's the form factor is unparalleled, I think. But the steam deck is so heavy. I've heard, and I'm like, I've posted about this online and people are like multiple people have told me that gamers are buying nursing pillows to put their steam deck on like a baby so that they don't have to use the strength of their arms to hold it up. I'm gonna see on the the DS they give you a game where it's like train your eyes. Now maybe the

steam deck if you just just calibrated a little in your brain. Oh game like screening your arm. Oh yeah okay. I have gyroscope support. Just getting fried a blade. You've got four arms and everyone will suspect you've just been joking. I Yeah, dude, I'm just joking. I'm not gaming, no. Arnold Schwarzenegger's gyroscopic steam deck jack-off workout. God, I saw a picture of Arnold the other day and we can definitely talk about W and McMaster soon,

I swear, but I saw a picture of Arnold the other day on Twitter. Like, I logged into Twitter for like a minute because I don't look at it anymore. And I saw an account of Arnold the other day on Twitter. I logged into Twitter for a minute because I don't look at it anymore. I saw an account that was like, look at the way Arnold walks. You can tell he's secretly female. Because his legs, his feet are in front of each other. He's walking with a very narrow gate.

They can always tell. They can always tell. Arnold, they'd love to hide it in plain sight. I was like, all right. Well God good on time. I can see champion of the fucking world then. You really? I really, that's what I always said about Arnold. It's just not masculine enough.

Like I like it. I like it. I've always said we haven't seen enough of his body. I've always been like, that's where you're gonna prove your man. We haven't seen any male from his body. I've always been like, that's where you're gonna prove your man. We haven't seen any of your body, Arnold Schwarzenegger. I know, I'm like, come on.

He does have like, we have pounds of goodies. That's a pretty womanly thing to have. Well, like when you said he was coming all the time, right? Like, we all remember that. That's what when you tell me, women tell me that all the time. Yeah, well, because like men, you do it, and then like, that's it for a while, right? Typically, if he was a lady, then who knows?

That's true. That's true. And just doing like one pulp and being like, oh, I need a refractory period. Yeah. Yeah. It needs a nap. Have you guys played Bulters Gate at all?

Is that good? I'm pretty far, oh, not far, I'm about six hours into it. I just made sweet love to the cranky lizard lady. Oh wow, I haven't heard a lot about her from my friends. It's mostly been the lady who loves hell or whatever. I was kind of jumping through the dialogue choices because I think I was fighting a baby at the time. And then I realized that the game through the dialogue choices because I think I was fighting a baby at the time and then I realized No, it's fighting baby in real life and I accidentally romantic the cranky girl in the video game and

I saw I was like oh shit. I didn't want to like I wanted to try to fuck the bear because I read you could fuck a bear and Wait, do you mean like the Canadian award winning novel bear? No, no, like actually animal. I guess it's probably like a druid. I mean, that's what that book is about. It's about who has sex with the bear and it won Governor General's award. So yeah, that award award winning thing. I just said, I was going to that. I was trying to get the Pulitzer for bear fun. Governor General's award. So yeah, that award winning thing you just said. I was going to that. I was trying to get the Pulitzer for Barefoot.

The fine literature thing. I made a terrible mistake. And she's so mean to everybody that I didn't want to like break her heart. And so I was like, I guess I'm just like this is my girlfriend now in the game. And that's how far I am. I'm one bank session in to Baldur's Gate 3.

So that's only like a couple hours. Okay, I've heard it's the, I mean, I've heard a lot about it. I've heard it's the horneous game. Maybe everybody's so horneous. But there's always, there's always a horneous dialogue option. Yeah, even though you're like your wizard, like I had to tell the wizard to fuck off. I had to be specifically, there's a dialogue option.

I am not interested, pal. You've got to fuck off. I had to be specifically as a dialogue option. I am not interested pal. You've got to get off my dick. Like, can you do like a no sex run? Like a hundred percent. Like that's the challenge run. That's the challenge run. Well, just get three. No fucking maybe I'm a third playthrough.

Yeah, maybe I'm a good. I'm sure yeah, and I'll put it in tactical mode. Turn based tactical mode. Try not to get your dick in any of these characters. And this is why we don't do a video game podcast. Even though we do one quarter of a video game podcast like every episode. I'm so sorry. Not too really. It's tradition.

I'm much before it. Getting into it. I uh in my question of no I I I as always I am like six months behind everybody else in everything that they do. So I just know just beat Zelda like yesterday. Oh wow. Congratulations. So I just I just beat Zelda like yesterday. Oh wow

Congratulations, and I feel a great sense of freedom and I'm extremely scared to touch another video game for the fear that it will Take as long as Zelda Like I genuinely have a little bit of phobia. No, no, I need to do life now I need to do some life and living until then. So I have remnant to coming I might just leave it on the shelf and and be just a little bit afraid of it until until I forget and go back I'm gonna I'm gonna take some biker rides and walk the dog instead. Yeah, that's my video game I think what's good about remnant is not it's not like a completionist tile thing You can kind of play like that, but it's like it maintains this level of discovery So it's just sort of feels like the start of a

video game for a really long time. That I feel like it's it shouldn't eat your life like Zelda. You can kind of just put it down and then it's all brand new when you pick it up later anyway. Okay, because I don't have a lot of life left and I need I need it. I can't give this. I'm so glad it's a great way to spend Yes, I love your device I'm looking for something where I can only spend like an hour on a weekend with friends or something That's that's what I'm looking for. I hope that's I hope that's remnant. So that's what we're plugging today remnant to everybody Now what are we what are we plugging today? Dedicate your life to remnant.

Yeah, one of, uh, okay, so. Yeah, the land book is, uh, the Lampery book. I think I talked about this last time. It's, if you backed that book, uh, in its initial, like pre-order, you should be getting it in October. in its initial pre-order, you should be getting it in October. And there's pre-orders for a general retail version are up now. I think they're only on Amazon right now.

Hopefully you'll be able to just go to an actual bookstore or order it directly through Tams and Hudson. But if you really just want to place a pre-order right now, I'm not going to stop you from going to Jeff's Goodsite and placing a pre-order. But yeah, that's really exciting. I've been working on that for like, God, so long at this point.

It's finally going to come out. And the other thing is in November, so little ways off. I've got a higher-the-duck comic coming out that I'm writing. And, uh, it's cool. Yeah, it's the character's 50th anniversary. And my friend, Ship Starsky, did a run

that was really, you know, well-liked in the mid 2010s and he's doing like a framing story for it. And then me and then a few other people are doing like, what if stories about how are the ducks? So Daniel Killsmith is doing one, and then yeah, I'm doing one. So that was cool. Yeah, I was like, oh shit, I know I have to read like,

50 years of history of this character. I don't know how people write comics because there's so much shit to like, to know. Right, there should be like a master editor that will tell you if you fucked up, I guess. Yeah, and then yeah, I have that. And it's how he's like, yeah, it is how the duck. I also rewashed that movie, which was.

Got a pull from Manza, the class. It holds up as the first Marvel movie. And God, definitely sort of more than the standard Hollywood quota of pedophiles in that movie though. Unfortunately. Yeah, I mean the guy who played however the duck like the guy who was like in the suit was busted in like a sting a little while ago. And then also was it Jeffrey Jeffrey Jones also right who plays the guy who turns into a monster. So. Wow. They were both they were both trying to tell us something.

They were both on the right out there with those roles. And that's not even why that movie got canceled. People stopped watching the movie because it's terrible. Yeah, it does. At a scene where sex criminals and that character pulls a pulls an open condom, an open duck size condom out of how of the ducks while it, which just raises a lot of questions. I mean, I think it starts off with duck tits. So yeah, that's how you keep washing.

There's several pairs, yeah. Yeah. Well, like right off red. Right off red. It's the condom, like, all twisted up, I don't remember. You'd think so, no, but it's just small. That would have been like a legit, like, joke. I would have been like a funny, horrible,

little porthang joke, yeah. Yeah. Right, just like, ha ha, condom would be like, ha ha horrible, horrifying joke. Yeah. Yeah. Just like, ha ha, condom would be like, ha ha, ducks have strange penises and also a condom. Like that's real edge. That's like... You know, that's the extra step that they didn't take. Yeah.

That I feel like I can really correct with my run on Howard the Duck. So... And also, they won't create dynamic. It should have just ended with, was that Leah Thompson? And how are the duck? It was. It should have just ended with Leah Thompson.

Like, yeah, Howard, let's do this. And then like, smash cut to her gravestone. And that's, I would like to plug something. We just launched our new podcast, Big Feats. That's the plural of Big Foy. You're not a spell it. And it is, it's me, it's Sean Baby, and it's Jason Pargin.

TikTok star, ticked on willing, reluctant, unhappy TikTok star, Jason Pargin, and best selling out there. We're watching every single episode, start to finish, of Mountain Monsters, the Hillbilly Monster Hunting reality with like eight quote marks, show on on max now. And they find big foot every episode. It's wonderful. It's one of the best shows on television made for less than the cost of a grocery trip every single week. And we love it.

So go listen to it and just launch episode once up there. Big feats just downloaded it. Oh, hell, they really just downloaded it. Listen to listen to us talk about a bunch of cracked out hillbillies. I'm sorry, a bunch of methed out hillbillies

trying to stab a big for it. Right. That's that's what happens every episode. Are there blood-bonded apes just real quick? Are there blood-bonded apes in any of these? They basically are. They do the same thing as that book where they have 800 subspecies. A big split. This guy's a secret. This one has underpowers. The Thunder Power Apes, by the way, they had to assemble a sacred axe to defeat them. There was like a Thunder Brothers episode was so good. That's like what maybe fun, just pull the trigger on this podcast.

We have to do a podcast devoted to this because it was a multi-part episode where they had to find all the pieces of the legendary Thunder Axe and like in a hillbilly scavenger hunt left behind by their ancient ancestors from like 80 years ago. It was still just like the 1930s that they just assembled this thunder axe to defeat lightning man and his thunder brothers. It was a bigfoot gang of differently powered big feet. And it was for the stakes of the entire fucking world. If he got his hands on that axe. Why don't they make video games about this kind of thing,

you know? I would be only like, or at least a tabletop RPG. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I'd play, I'd definitely play whatever the fuck wild bill is. The guy that just jumps into a tree and then falls out of it. Yeah, yeah, he's like a guy. I'm not sure what that class is.

Except just methed out hillbilly. When we like, if we were to actually play this in real life, we would really have to fight over Wild Bill, I think, because he's the only appealing character class in that whole crew. Everybody else is like, I don't know. Kirby with like, like ones of researcher and ones like a trap master, but when I say trap know, Kirby with like like ones of researcher and ones like a trap master,

but when I say trap master, like they glue together some chicken wire every episode. All of the things that he's so much stuff. Wild Bill is immune to pain, unlimited energy. I guess that math, he's got math, he's the one that has to have. He's weak against good decisions. He takes double damage from any good decision. Zero damage from tree. He's immune to true fall damage. He literally fall at a two trees. Zero fall or chainsaw damage.

He's not killed himself with a chainsaw yet. So that should count for something. That's the best plug I've ever done. Listen to big feats. Yeah, it was a good plug. All right, well, today we are talking about WMAC All Stars, which stands for World Martial Arts Council. All stars. It was a Martial Arts show that ran for two seasons from 1995 to 1997. Somebody saw just the burgeoning rising popularity of you know UFC and this kind of new brutal mixed martial arts reality and they said No No, thank you

It was it was years too late to be doing this. I love this the whole idea for this show like the idea of taking Mortal Kombat and making a kid show with like skits and storylines and an tournament that like persists through episodes. It's like really sophisticated in some ways and just like dog shit stupid in most ways and it's like I think a perfect combination. It's a beautiful show. It's a beautiful thing. It's a... I feel like it was riding like in the 90s Marshall Earths We're just like I feel like that was the height of like Marshall Earth's pre UFC pre like internet debunking a lot of stuff because

Like the internet has made it so much harder to be a karate maniac Yeah, they still exist obviously and there but there's like whole YouTube channels dedicated to like debunking these guys, right? In the 90s, you could just have like a karate dojo without like any real like training or anything and Everyone wanted to do martial arts like because power Rangers mortal combat three fighter like fighting games also like early 90s had how they're like huge boom. So it was like, yeah, of course, I went and watch a show where real people are doing karate

and martial arts that is definitely real. And when I watch it, I think that that's what I would be learning. If I go to, since I dug class at the Y, you know? Well, I think the UFC created like an insecurity in the martial arts community where it's like, it happened in it very clearly said, like if you're not doing this, you're not gonna win in a real fight.

And I feel like that sort of set traditional martial artists into turbo mode where they're like, no, no, no, this is actually the real fighting. You just have to get so good at it, you're magical. And like, so we have a few years ahead of this. And this is like that sweet spot where they're like, no, no, this is better than like regular fighting because like we can like levitate and throw fireballs and shit. And eventually like they grew out of that, I guess.

And like the martial arts, okay, the martial arts are very, very much a B minus direct to video, like Michael Dutacacoff post American Ninja years kind of quality. But I want to cover it up. I can't be out that it's way better than it should have been for this show. Yeah for the for for being filmed on the Universal Studios floor a lot with whatever whatever ride they could get on for free. Like literally on rides. Literally on rides where you can see the rides. These are the point of my episode where I'm like, huh, they're fighting like underground.

Wow, this looks like a lot like when I was a kid and went on the ride. I'm like, wait, no, this is literally just the first quake ride. In that scene, the final scene where there's struggling with the flood that comes down the stairs on the earthquake ride, which I mean, it's iconic. Everybody knows the little like the overpass collapsing, the truck sliding. Everybody knows what they have brand commercials for that nonstop. But you can still see where he's like, oh no, I'm going to die. This championship match, he like is trying to get around the turn style to get into the ride. And then you didn't get that far. I don't have a ticket.

I can't get out. I'm looking to die here. What I love best about that is it just kind of ends and then they go up to the arena. A braid above it. They had a science as WMAC Masters arena. And so the world is ending above them, right? This is a terrible earthquake, but now they just like, no, come on. You guys know that was the fucking ride.

We're not gonna attend. So it is, it is, in case anybody thought I was making a fun joke, the entire thing is filmed on Universal Studios Florida, like the rides. They tell you, yeah, the average, they say that. It's very proud of you. It's like an ad, every commercial break.

Yeah. Product placement, clearly, for the actual theme park. And all of their sets are like ghost town and pressure pit. They're all just little sections of rides from there. So it's kind of ingenious that they got away with spending like, absolutely no money. If all of that, if all the sets free, there's nothing. There's nothing in here that costs any amount of money. All of the costumes are very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, well, apparently the ninjas are free, but we'll get into that. We'll get into that.

Because that's one of the things that I want to talk about. Because my favorite part of WMAC All Stars is the, well, it's the ninjas, but it's also just the little stories that they tell in between the fighting where they thought they needed to have a kind of personal drama, moral lesson arc to something. I love it. In between. And that's what it is. That's what we're focusing on today, most, which is why I sent you the three episodes

that I did send you. The first one is season one episode five called, a man can dream. It starts as all of them do with a computerized voice going, ninjas, prepare for battle. And it's just like stock footage of ninjas kind of hanging out like they're just doing cartwheels. It's a weird cold open. Yeah. They're not doing anything. There's nobody there. They're not preparing. They're just like kind of if you tell ninjas to prepare for battle they start sneaking they start cartwheeling. That's just how they prepare. What are they? What are they supposed to do? Come on.

So for our first season, Shannon Lee, Bruce Lee's daughter, is our host in this episode. She's wearing my grandma's couch for a shirt. And also my grandma's hair and everything else. She's very, very old lady. Old lady coated. That's what I'm going with. I saw her preliminary. There's a weird choice.

Like I feel like Shannon Lee's like a good choice of Bruce Lee's daughter as like to be a part of the show. But they have her be like this newscaster which is just like like she's playing the most forgettable newscaster in a Roland Embrick movie like just like there's not a I dare anyone to find a speck of personality in it. Like this could have been anyone. She doesn't have like a sign-off line or anything. It's just like, hi, I'm Shannon Lee.

And then she just buy the book, newscaster and personation. I'm not saying, I don't have no idea if she's cool or funny or whatever, but like, I feel like they're racing. They gave her nothing. Yeah, they gave her nothing. Nothing to do. If she's not so weird. If she's so funny, you can write nothing. Nothing to do. It's so weird. It's so weird.

She's not going funny. You can't write that. Like, you can't do it. You can have her say something. Anything. Yes. What's that? It's such a wild decision to like,

we need the star power of Bruce Lee's daughter and we need her to never do martial arts. Why are you? Why? Why? this? Why? Why? Why do we need to? It's a newscast. So there's no point for the entire host role, I should say.

They have multiple narrators. They have like judges that are narrating. They have the robot voice, the dictates thing. They have like quote unquote, court side like reporters to break down how everything works. It's so many hosts for what is just people kicking each other. Like you get it. Right. At the point.

Bizarre, how many people there are like, I guess maybe they're trying to create the impression that this is like a really big event. But like kids aren't there to hear people like commentate about this stuff. Like we just wanted to see people like do flips and kick some ninjas. It was like the priorities were so strange. So we launch like right into our first fight and Shannon Lee introduces us right into our first fight. It's in the nuclear nightmare battle zone and right away. So right away.

Why are you battling in the nuclear nightmare zone? Do you get some questions? What's going on? Yeah. Do you want to take it like over there to, I don't know, the set of jaws? Do you want to do jaws to ride instead of the nuclear nightmare? I mean, they called it nightmare.

It's really our fault for being here. So that's one of one of their stages is nuclear nightmare battle zone. No explanation why there was nuclear fall out here. I imagine that's some sort of WMAC lore, deep lore about the alternate history of the world that they live in, the dark story of the nuclear. If you could have a karate you can ignore radiation. That's a fact. That's true. Yeah. That's why the incredible Hulk and hang out with Sean Chi. Yeah, he's constantly emitting it. Yeah, I mean, I know American Kempo taught me to do that. I don't know about the other disciplines. I can't vouch for that.

Right. Good point. There's a lot of us. So the fight is between only Ty Quanto was not. I'll take a stand right here. Our first fight is Panther versus the machine. Panther is, this is what he's got. Hey, Lily, if you haven't watched this, if you have not watched this and you had to guess, like, hmm, what does a guy who they gave the name panther look like? What is he looking like? What do you think he looks like? Like, you would almost certainly be correct

if you assumed, well, of course they would name a black guy panther. I mean, fucking of course. Yeah. Oh, and black panthers. So there is best. They had some restraint. Yeah. Could have been worse. Now, Black Panther or regular, sorry, Panther. Oh, Panther. Yes, Panther. Regular Panther. He's fighting Hakim Austin, who's the machine,

who most people would recognize. He was in Mortal Kombat as like an unnamed character. He's the first guy that Changsu meets. These two fought each other before, and a movie called Shoot Fighter, Fight to the Death, and that also had Chris Casamasa in it and Turbo MicroNardo. So like four of the principal cast members of that movie were on WMAC Masters. So I think they must have came up with it on the set of shoot fighters. Yeah. Yeah. But like, okay, also the machine, I feel like when they, because they have these little

like character select screens that come up where they have like kind of like low-frame animations of them doing stuff, I forget if it's in this episode or not or the next one, but at some point Panther is like a fucking vampire demon monster like he has a glowing eyes and teeth and stuff, but the machine in his like character's looks green is a fucking cyborg. Like yes, it looks like. But fully the type of cyborg stuff,

he's like, he's like an action figure with like armor that comes off. It's all take off all of their props to fight, which is an insane decision. Like I was just playing pretend they tell the kids at home. It's bizarre. Like I can't do a flip in this. Yeah, no, like obviously it's not practical. Oh, no, that's my ring entrance attire.

Well, in a short time, Eric Bet wasn't called Panther, he was called Wong, but in the movie they call him Hong, and Akim was called Champion, but in the movie, in the movie they call him Cham, because they only hold four letters on their cards, I guess they have these little blood sport cards, and they're not always right. So it's like, it was Hong versus Cham,

and that wasn't either one of the guys' names. So just, that's fun. But here they get such, such deep, fully defined characters. You can tell the frustration that calls them to form this. We need to show our acting chops as like where pieces of death turned into trotter. If it turned into trotter, I mean, it would be even better. He does look like he's wearing half of,

I feel like those cosplay outfits that he used to go viral like 10 or 15 years ago, where someone was dressed as Optimus Prime and they would like crash down and sort of turn into a really shitty looking truck. Yes, it's like wearing a half of that. He beat up a nerd and took his little chalk costume. Yeah, took out a trophy for him.

Don't think I ever followed him very closely, but a few years ago, God time has no meaning. Some number of years back, there was a guy that kept going viral for doing like, zero budget cosplay where he just get like a, like a weapon or something and hold it in front of himself at an angle that made him look like the character. I feel like the machine is that.

Like he's just joking and trying to look like, I don't know, RoboCop or Deathlock or something. And he's just like, well, I can take apart the camera here and I can put a little piece on me and then I can take this shaving cream. And it's just, yeah, he's like Peter Weller's fully. He's outside Peter Weller's house. This is what you look like in that movie, dumbass.

Yeah. Sure off. your brother's house. This is what you look like in that movie dumbass. Sure. Who will come up with a role? What about a professor? I just can't know. Is signature move is the switch change ex kick. I thought that was a, I feel like they could have come up with something better. That, that feels like exactly what his karate instructor called it. I feel like that should have been like, you know, the flaming, nuclear dive or something.

I don't know, something. Right. I think that was real frustrating for me. I think that was real frustrating for me. I think that was real frustrating for me. I think that was real frustrating for me. I think that was real frustrating for me. I think that was real frustrating for me.

I think that was real frustrating for me. I think that was real frustrating for me. I think that was real frustrating for me. I think that was real frustrating for me. I think that was real frustrating for me. I think that was real frustrating for me. I think that was real frustrating for me. I think that was real frustrating for me.

I think that was real frustrating for me. I think that was real frustrating for me. I think that was real frustrating for me. I think that was real frustrating for me. I think that was real frustrating for me. I think that was real frustrating for me. whenever you like finally throws like the most shittiest smallest fireball and you're like fuck yeah like that's when you wanted to happen in this but yeah just to call it magic lips right yeah just at just you basically got magic uh in this already and uh the weird thing is like with all the fights is like you're like oh it's moral combat right so they just like fight one-on-one like no no no of course not no so complicated like is like, you're like, oh, it's moral combat, right? So they just like fight one on one. Like, no, no, of course, no, it's not how complicated it. Like, well, let's get it. It's complications, right? Because Shannon says it's the fight is starting. Keep your eye on the power bars. And that's your case. They actually have power power meters.

Right. Regular humans. Yeah. Along the side of the whole side of the screen, and the best decision since having power bars for just guys is they can only fuel them up by defeating ninjas. They eat ninjas for fuel and WMAC masters. So, now, Shannon says, especially, especially, that these are trainees, like the ninjas are all trainees at the WMAC Academy, which means like, yes. All of these fighters were former ninjas. They were former ninjas. The implications of this go very,

this is what I was referring to, one we'll get to that later. So the ninjas, they explicitly say are all trainees at the WMAC Academy, and they beat the utter shit out of these ninjas. At one point in this fight, machine throws one off a third story Fire escape so he's dead he absorbed his life force and died all the ninjas are wearing white belts So they don't know what the fuck this is their first goddamn day and they're thrown out there to just get

Eatin alive for for power juice by machine. Yeah, the hellworms are shooting out of their corpses and flying up to the player characters that killed them. And they're all, these are the trainees at the WAC. Okay, but they teach you. So one of them is gonna have a great for a job. But yeah. One of them is gonna get carried out of there.

And he's still a little bit alive. He'll like, Valor of Enge and Train Harder. And then years from now, he'll be, you know, machine junior or something. He'll tell you the stuff. That's the cycle of ninjas. You have to kill five or six hundred ninjas to get one machine. That's just how it works.

I wish there was a more humane way to do it. Look, we've tried, but they just don't get the machines you get aren't as high quality. So, right. In the 1990s ninjas where our America's greatest natural resource. It was only right to use them for glory such as this. We hadn't yet hit peak Ninja in the 2000s when there were all those websites about real ultimate power and everything. Yeah, that got post ninja. I was post-ironic ninja. It's like the post-rock of ninja phases.

ironic ninja. It's like the post rock of ninja phases. Once, so once they've fueled up on enough ninjas to challenge one another, they fight each other while fighting also the ninjas who are just, I can't emphasize this enough, completely disposable. They are just one kick destroyed. Their whole life is gone. They're just like limp on the ground. They're putty's from power-angers basically. Yeah, they're like they're just these faceless goons. But then we also explicitly said these are students at our academy. So it was a weird thing to give them a treasure. You have hopes and dreams. But now remember these do have hopes and dreams these these creatures that we are destroyed. We have families. But

don't worry about it. Now I love that. I love that. It's useful for storytelling because like they're all over the place. They're obviously useless in a fight, but during the fight, Panther and machine kind of work together to beat at the ninjas. And then Panthers start snaking in cheap shots. So now we learn like, oh, Panthers is kind of an opportunistic dick. But he's also to be fair, four foot one to the machine who is probably six eleven. Like, machine is absolutely a man of voice. That boy, which is right, yeah.

The toughest character. Right. Like, the ninjas would have to form a nine ninja pyramid just to kiss the machine on the mouth. That's how tiny all these people are compared to that man. He does, he does God, that's kind of the thing I think about when I'm watching Ninja shows. I mean, I think I read that in the Wikipedia article, which is like very long. It's one of the articles where you know,

like two or three guys was like imprinted on this sexually and just sort of like. There's a very annoying show, yeah. Yeah, I like made it their whole thing because it has like, I think it has one of those warnings at the top that's like, Yeah. It's just sort of like- It's a very enluring show. Yeah. Yeah, I've made it their whole thing because it has one of those warnings at the top that's like, oh no, it doesn't say it's too long. It just says it needs additional citations for verification. Right.

Need more pictures of shirtless machine, please. Need more of that sweet print on Shannon Lee. Nice grandma print. That's what does it for me. So I have at least 400 words of notes on chameleon. I'm not going to read them to you, that's just me. Oh, I know. Yeah.

We'll get to complete it. We'll get to complete it. We'll get to complete it. We'll get to complete it. We'll get to complete it. We'll get to complete it. We'll get to complete it. We'll get to complete it.

We'll get to complete it. We'll get to complete it. We'll get to complete it. We'll get to complete it. We'll get to complete it. We'll get to complete it. We'll get to complete it. against who wins in this again that machine. Well, uh, well, like, oh, machine, we learn, uh, one more important thing, one final thing. Uh, machine ultimately wins, but, uh, he does take a savage kick from Panther, which lowers his health bar by, I believe it's four sections. So we now know how much exactly a ninja's life is worth.

It's worth one, one of those sections. So, so core machine has, as like 12, I think he has 12 so like 12 stack ninjas came equal a life force of one machine That's just important. We know that math. So then we come back to the WMAC clubhouse I have a clubhouse Apparently live there it's implied right in like

apparently lived there. It's implied, right? In like full costume. Right. I think it's important to note, like, they're not just back there like out of their outfits. They're back there in like full character. This isn't like backstage. It's that they're always on is my point. No, yeah. It's like a it's like this is their world and life. Yeah. That they leave. They're always on in the sense that they always wear their costumes and they always are their character. But it's not the drama you would expect when we say there's like a clubhouse, you would expect them to be

like there's inviting and they have their big fantastical stories. No, it's like Rose hanging out stories. So Panther will have his fangs and his saucy little context and be like, I will devour you. And then the very next scene he'll just like hop up onto a counter and be like, what's you doing? And then they'll hang out and it's very saved by the Bell Clubhouse shit. Yeah, you're right. That's very the max. And they watch, they watch all of this happen live on TV. So it's implied that this Clubhouse

is part of, they live at Universal Studios floor Underground in the new cleared I'm like fucking Smurf's or something They've told all I mean what what's happened is that I think they've told all of them that the outside world has become inhospitable and And this is the only safe place for them. Nuclear nightmare. So you've seen it. Yeah, that's right there. The Shaman Lion movie. Yeah, the year and fight.

And we're not going to tell you we're filming it, but we are. This would be a good reality show. Just try to convince people that martial arts magic is real and they possess it. All right, our next match is Larry Lamb, the Warlock. Each of them has their little, not only their little names and personas like Panther and Machine. They have a real name, but they have a key symbol, which is like a little badge with their icon on it.

And that's sort of representative of their power. And they lose it in these matches. And another warrior will put it on their belt and I guess absorb their life force to challenge the champion. So Warlock beat everyone to fight the champion. Who in season one is this guy named Olympus, I think? Yeah, I think his weapon was like a Christmas tree tougher.

But wait, I just thought weapon was like a Christmas tree tougher. Wait, I just wanted to just grab these, wearing dark blue pajamas with stars and moons on them. You would not even know who's a karate man. He looks like he's- You would not even know who's a karate man. He looks like he's right to be tucked in. That's just wearing pajamas.

He's just opening presents on Christmas. It's like, it's like the worst, it's like, oh, he's a warlock. So, you know, like magic, like, what a wizard's wear. Oh, I don't know, I just, like, you know, like stars and moons and shit. I love the guy who's fighting his name, Johnny Smith Tiger Claw.

And he does karate. Now he has a flat top and a stick. He's like, like, just default, create a master. They talk about how he was knocked out last week. His signature move is round kick, like a so fucking generic. He's like the first NPC to give you a quest in a W.A.C. Master's game. I looked him up, his first acting role was huge man

in Harlem Knights and then he played neighbor in body snatchers. Like he wasn't given a name and a movie about fake love. Like his name is, and you remember? And he had these, his name is John Smith. His name is John Smith. It's literally his name. He's got a name here. Oh my God. He. His name is Don Smith. It's literally just get a name here. Oh my

God. He still didn't get it. He's still not a name to character. Also, it's so weird how they they come into an arena and then they leave the arena to go to the battles of like, yeah, that's just a decorative arena. Putting

it out on a hat. And also the arena that they fight in or the battles when they fight in is like 100% universal cowboy stunt show, sets. Like absolutely. Love it. It's made like half of it's made out of foam rubber.

It's adorable. It's really cute. It's a really cute set. You would never think like, this is the Wild West. You'd be like, oh, this is gonna be like a fun Sunday with the family. It's written to you in a think like, this is the Wild West. You'd be like, oh, this is gonna be like a fun Sunday with the family. It's a great two-dune family. Family fun, yeah.

All right, so they fuel up, they get some, they eat some ninjas to fuel up and fight. It's a fine fight. There's nothing worth noting in most of these fights, except for towards the end, they fueled up on enough ninjas, they fought each other. It, it's very dramatic. And then Tiger Claw goes into attack warlock from behind.

And then one of the ninjas just kind of trips and sprays them on us in his face. And he goes, oh, God, my eyes. And then they call the fight instantly. So that's where I'm going to be. Yes, I think it was even possible to lose to the ninjas. This is like, like, Axaksajim Doggan coming to the ring and getting knocked out by a fan high-fiving him.

Like it's just like, Haksajim, it was an accidentally lost energy. The human props. Right. There's, there's, there's like, there are a version of sound effects in comic books. Like they're just there to go buff. Like, you're not supposed to die to the buff but he did on accident John Smith the nothing from nowhere got his big opportunity somehow in a scripted show he got blinded accidentally by sawdust and disqualified

against the thing I care to you John Smith is. He won't know what talking about him. He'll be like, yeah, that's a different John Smith probably. I don't know where he is. I guess that's just imagine he had to eat you. Then he'll like look at a mirror and say, who the fuck are you? And then the mirror will say, I'm John Smith and he'll say, you're not making any sense, pal. Oh, I'm a huge man.

I don't know anymore. I'm a huge neighbor. I'm a neighbor. I'm a neighbor. Oh, I am. huge man. I don't know anymore. I'm huge neighbor. I am I know my identity. Just we've established that takes 12 ninjas to fuel up. So imagine 12 eating 12 ninjas for fuel and then you get something you get like an eyelash in your eye and the whole little alarm goes off there and he's going disqualified eyelash. Oh god. He's like, you're right. I don't know what I'm doing here you're right I deserve everything that happens to me and more all right we

flak we okay we're done there we go back to this is this is the most insane part of this episode and I like checked the time and it lasts like like maybe like a quarter of the runtime of this episode oh Oh, the skit. We're back to the clubhouse. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Oh, yeah. OK, so Panther, who in the lore, this episode just got the holy shit kicked out of him three minutes ago.

It's back in the house just hanging out in Goofen, just Panther Goofen, with tsunami and the rest of the crew. And they are watching this on TV. And Shannon Lee comes on. And tsunami, oh, he's this on TV and Shannon Lee comes on and tsunami. Oh, he's so in love with Shannon Lee. And then he admits when somebody presses him, yeah, at first I only loved her because she's Bruce Lee's daughter, which is a weird thing to say.

That's a weird thing to admit too. Kind of like. But they are snuggling and sharing their feelings on a couch like Ninja Warriors do. They are snuggling. They are all snuggling in a couch like Ninja Warriors do. They are snuggling. They are all snuggling in a big W. McPull, a big carol. I'm not kidding about that. They're really snuggling. I'm not interested in that.

I always think. Panthers really trying to get with that girl, like the actor. I'm like, buddy, he's off a little man. And he's, so after Soonami confesses his love, Panther extremely coily says, well, I know that Shannon's got a little secret. And then it's fresh got to commercial. That's enough to cut to commercial. He should have pulled that little bell and said that.

I'm not going to be able to. The naughty cat boy. Get the fuck out of here. You're not a cat boy. Shoot, hey, get down from there, hey, hey, yeah. Somebody should have a water bottle for him. Yeah. So after we come back from commercial,

Panthers in a different room doing back flips and tsunami sprints up to him like, what's the secret? So he broke off in the middle of the conversation and went to the next room to do back flips. You know, hang on a little bell and ran away. That's how cute and coignious. Yeah. What's the fucking secret? You can't run into the back flip room. We were having a conversation. What's wrong with you? And then he does something twice as insane and says, well,

I'm ready to reveal her secret, but I'll have to check with her first. What the fuck are you doing, buddy? Just, you. It's like, like fifth graders talking about, like they don't even know what they're talking, like it's bizarre, it's completely, and they're like to see adults acting like this. It's so weird.

It's writing for fifth graders, clearly. It's writing for fifth graders. But to make them, to make the adults behave like fifth graders is, it's like, you're right. It's like 12 year old talking about hand jobs. You're like, if you really press them, would they know what that means? And this is, I feel like this, the next part,

which is what I was talking about before, is really emblematic of this, because tsunami is just like, oh, I love Shannon. I wish I could have her last name. And then red dragon comes up, and it's just like, oh, I love Shannon. I wish I could have her last name. And then red dragon comes up and it's just like, you know, that reminds me of the story. Get this like, wash back. Reminds me of something that happened just recently.

Dot, dot, dot. That's just fucking weird. That's a partly an ad for like the NASA Space Center in Florida and partly just a story about how he fell in love with an astronaut. Right. Why is it? Okay. Let's go through it a little bit.

So he says that reminds, he cuts off this conversation immediately. They're a mid conversation with tsunami about Shen Lee and he's like, hey, stop talking about that. It's flashback time. And he drags them into a flashback of the time. He and machine just hand in hand went on a fun romp together through the NASA Space Center. And then he instantly fell in love with a female astronaut he saw. And then his plan was, he thought he's a guy. He's like, I'm I'm gonna fuck that tour guide and how he was like she's actually an astronaut That's twice as hot Same plan plan doesn't change machine plan And he lays out the plan which is I'm going to stalk her

I'm going to find where she goes after this I'm going to follow her around all day and then figure out her jogging route that she takes like in the morning And then I'm going to wait on the beach to run up to her and this was 1995 so this was what they considered cute. This was a meat cube in 1995. Was to be relentlessly stalked all day by Red Dragon, by a man named Red Dragon. I have some fun facts about this. Red Dragon is Chris Casamasa and his dad is a fun name to say. Casamasa.

Even fun. And six years before this, he wrote a book called Ravens Beware. Last one. It's, yeah, it sounds like a book about fighting back, but most of the training is about practicing your main stare and timing your penis bite or burping or pooping on your attacker.

I wrote a whole thing on the side about it. It's fucking nuts. It ends with karate poetry. Like pages and pages of karate potty. Wheelchair karate poetry. I'm leaving so much out. That's his dad. And so just to say like his dad wrote this book

and then five years later he's like tackling a woman on the beach and say, go out with me. You don't know me. She just reflexively poops. I learned this from your dad. I get dad to me this So so he runs up to her and the most 90s shit you will ever hear in this world or the other day. I just had to meet you. We go out with me. I can't That was the most original rejection I ever had Well I think we'll have a real. But then you know, or after that, she like knows him from this bullshit show.

She's like, hold on a second. You're Chris Kassamasa from WMAC Masters. And then they fall. And that's enough. She's they're now dating. They're now dating because he's from WMAC Masters. But crisis for young love is in the air because Chris has promised that he will spend the day with Hakim and his nephews I think because they love the red dragon.

More than the machine. So here's what they do. Sorry, I interrupt, but yeah, like he had plans and she's like, I want to go to the space launch. And so they compromise. They go, they watch the space launch on TV. And I actually thought this was a really valuable and rare lesson to teach children because like most of the shows in the 80s and around this time, they just taught you how to like avoid a catastrophic death. Like Don't lay with the down power line, whether this is a real skill you can use every day

to clearly state your plans and then compromise. I don't know. I also, there is a devil and angel bit where tiny versions of him appear on his shoulders and are like, yeah, fuck those kids. Hey, when's the next time you're going to get to see a fucking lady asked for that blast off in the space. Which is a fair point, devil Casamasa.

I'm on dev, I'm on team devil Casamasa. Absolutely. Were they a devil and angel? Because they're both in the red Karate gear. I think they're both just in the blue. I think the dad was that he only has two sides and they're both Karate. I think that's like, I think it're both just. I think the dad was that he only has two sides and they're both karate. I think that's like I think it was a bit.

That rules though. You have more faith in the writers this program than I do evidently. It's like I really. It's touching really. I love this show. I'm trying to. I love this show. I'm trying to.

I'm trying to. I love this show. I'm trying to. I love this show. I'm trying to. I love this show. I'm trying to. of Deli McMasters. So the flashback ends with them asking, well, where is she now? And he says, she's an orbit, which is such a child's understanding of how things go. She's an orbit like an astronaut. Maybe one day they'll let me go with her. And it's twisted as a wistful little thing. As fucking what?

As a NASA Marshal artist? As moon ninja security? Yeah, also, hey, Chris, what was the point of this story? But that's the NASA Marshal artist as moon ninja security. Yeah, also, hey, Chris, what was the point of this story? Like, your friend is like, I give it so clearly just him being like, yeah, I know a girl too. I met a girl. She uses space.

She's real. And one day, you wouldn't know her. She's in a different space. She's in a different space. She's in a different planet. We didn't mention it, but in that in that flashback, there was a dream sequence where he like Slow-mo jogs up to her while she's in her NASA swimsuit and then she transforms into an astronaut and she opens her helmet and it's Hakeem kissing him And it's like it sounds weird if you say like that. I guess, but I mean that was like what he told the story told him about this. No, he's like and then I had a drew yeah remember he's telling this whole story so he's like and then I had a dream where I was really got the feet and then the little knees on my shoulders

and then it was right there looking at him like you had what what you did what it's just a dream bro we didn't touch God okay unless you want it let's not be funny for you and the point of that story is that a man can dream the title he says a man can dream and this really moves tsunami who repeats it a man can dream well looking at, well, looking at Shannon Lake. And then we go to the next flight machine is, it was really fucked up to do that, that to machine to tell him about that dream because he has to fight like immediately after that.

He has to run out of that. Well, you know what, you're doing what the show did, you're skipping the Lady Fight. There was a Lady Fight here. And yeah, they showed two moves, two highlights, and then we moved. It was a recap of a Lady Fight. Yeah, there's more Lady Fight in the later episode.

Yeah, they do. I think I'm in time. Yeah, I just wanna like, we get a glimpse of Lady Lightning here and just like the craziest hair I have ever seen. It's like a rule. On a martial artist. I don't know what you call it. It's like a

Hege Hill with shaved sides. Yeah, I don't even know. Like a corn puff mullet that she has bedazzled because she bedazzles it. Oh, absolutely. But it feels like karate here. Like a business she went to a media okay hairdresser and said, give me karate here and they're like, I think I know what you mean. And then they did that. Yeah. I love it except for the rhinestones.

That's a little confused. Do I wash it? Oh, no, you can't let it. No, no, you can't get it. In fact, you'll die if you get it wet. Now you're wet. That's your karate weakness. You have to fill in with the dimmo. If you get blood. It's now your, it's your karate weakness. You have things for them with the ding-mong.

If you get blood on this from like any other move. I watch that karate man right in my hair. In my notes around this part of the show that the dragon in the logo has like a really goofy overbite. Did you notice that about the logo? It's like someone threw a dragon, like,

I'm a dragon. Hey, hey, what's up? Oh my. It's like someone drag it like dumb with dragon So warlock versus the machine is the next fight. It's in the dome of death now and it's just straight up one-on-one fight until Pedatory the dome The perfect. Pedatory, the dome. Alright, so the, yeah, yeah, that's what my wife says when it's when the kids are asleep. That's what. You didn't just penetrate the dome. Without analyzing that too much, because I like it said we're already an hour into this,

it could be an hour just on Ninja's penetrated dome. So it works. The dome of death lowers, they fight, ninjas at some point will penetrate the dome, which you gotta be aware of. You gotta be ready for it. The dome is somehow electrified. And if you touch it, that's how you earn points. But they repeatedly call out through most like it, like they're very insecure about it.

They will pause to say, the ninjas are immune to dome electricity because they're close and been specially treated with dome fabrics. Absolutely. They don't actually say that it hurts you to touch it. They just say that it goes off and it counts a point when you touch it Don't worry when the ninja's touch it. It doesn't trigger a point. Yeah, they're okay about that. Listen, we thought about that And we think there's suits with special material It's I don't Yes, I don't for great

It's very good. I love it. It's all right So the romances for fifth graders, but the dome science the dome science is for four year olds. It's bizarre There's so insecure about you know somebody called them out on it before that went to air and they were like oh not uh because The ninja's are there's this and donproof, I just heard myself saying that loud. You're right, we got it. There's this cartoon I love, the 60 Superman cartoon, where Lex Luthor pulls these

luminance down from the stars to fight Superman and they're like, they go, We are the luminance, we are made of laser light, we vaporize everything we touch, except for the souls of our feet. And I just love that they're like Yeah, checkmate make the Dantichens they won't fall through the floor Whenever they tack it on like that. It's just a confession that somebody called them out It's never like I thought of this. It's that somebody called me out right before this air and I was like

And this is why and this is why the whole plan is destroyed. Um, so, so whatever the machine, especially treated when ninjas, they fight, fight, fight, it's whatever, it's like, it's perfectly acceptable spin kicking where they clearly almost touch each other. Warlock gives a really fancy split kick and machine catches it and looks like he's about to just obliterate that crotch, like he's about to send that to the nuclear nightmare zone. And you're like, oh, I know what's happened. The dome lifts and the match is over and Warlock gets to keep his crotch in his little kid

star pajamas another day. But the machine wins and we go back to the clubhouse where Panther is back, still super coy with Shannon's secret. And I've got that clip here. Thank you, Sean. Oh, my pleasure. Okay, now here's Shannon's secret. Shannon is a great singer.

And she and I have been working on this record. The song I think you guys are gonna hold up. Okay, now here we go. We'll be the master I'm the one who's the best. I'm the one who's the best. I'm the one who's the best. I'm the one who's the best. I'm the one who's the best. I'm the one who's the best.

I'm the one who's the best. I'm the one who's the best. I'm the one who's the best. I'm the one who's the best. I'm the one who's the best. I'm the one who's the best. I'm the one who's the best. I'm the one who's the best. I'm the one who's the best. I'm the one who's the best., in the ceremony of the Dragon Belt. Big win for Hikim also today.

They keep it playing the whole time while the narrator comes across. Just talk about their Kung Fu magic. Just great. You got to try your best. So this song, like, I don't actually know who composed that one song, but when I was looking stuff up about the show, it was developed and a lot of it was written by Norman Grossfeld, who was like, he's the guy who produced the English, the early English adaptations of like Pokemon and Yugi-O, and he wrote a bunch of songs on that Pokemon record that came out in the early 2000s, like 2B a master.

And he also wrote the Pokemon Stage Show, the one that cost like millions and millions of dollars and had all these huge trailer trucks moving around these like gigantic Pokemon robots and costumes. So it's possible he also wrote this song. I would say it's a channel and he should be ashamed of himself. It rules and I have changes. I'm proposing a bill to Congress to institute the death penalty for that song. Throw it out there.

It's a long shot. It speaks up on you. death penalty for that song. And then you just throw it out there. It's a long shot. It speaks up on you. Like, oh, this is a remix of Kung Fu fighting. Oh, you've never known it. Oh, now it's just Kung Fu fighting because you forgot. No, it's just that. I don't even know.

Because you only had three seconds of rap. All right. All right. Yeah. I don't even have to tell you that. You see that was the secret. Right. He wanted to keep that secret for as long as possible He's like I'm not telling anybody about this

To a little montage music video and I assume as Sean said are they all just stared at him like what the fuck is this while this video plays We didn't see that part. We just see, we see some hip hop karate dancing because if you know martial arts, that's all you can do. That's the only dance you know is martial lights to the beat. It's kind of nothing. As you heard him say, machine wins, he wins Warlocks key symbol, adds it to his sweet belt that I don't think they ever made toys of, but I would have loved to have that fucking belt

and give the little badges to all my friends and then beat the shit out of them and take their badges. Yeah, I would have beat the shit out of those badges. That would have been such a good game. So now he's once again- When you were a kid you studied Shore and Rude, didn't you? No, it was just American Kempo and Taikwondo. No, okay. Collectively known as the most useless decorative martial arts.

Right. I thought you did short-rooted, so I was gonna accuse you of getting John Smith's. I said he could hammer his... I was like, you know, it's pros and cons, right? Yeah. You specialize in claw or sledge, like which style? I mean, just like whatever my parents left out, basically, it's really adaptable. It's freestyle hammering.

It's like the jeet kundoh of a salt with a deadly weapon. All right. So you, so the machine has earned the right to challenge Olympus for the Dragon Star, which is the ultimate prize here in the whole goal. It's a paper mache. I can't see your wish. Oh, sure. That's not his weapon. That's that Christmas ornaments like like the trophy prize.

Yeah. Yeah. It's the prize they're all fighting for. He might use it as a weapon since he's the champion. I don't know. Maybe you get it. And it's like, it's like the thing from Crow. He can control it with his mind. weapon since he's the champion. I don't know. Maybe you get it and it's like the thing from Crowl. He can control it with his mind.

Yeah, it's the glaive. You can make it annoy people and bob against their head over and over. Just like it's his life in Crowl. Shannon ends the whole episode by saying, here's a message to my good friend, tsunami, good luck next week and you're right. Anything is possible. So she's down to clap. So to my good friend, tsunami, good luck next week. And you're right. Anything is possible.

So she's down to clap. So she's going to mail tsunami is what it is. Also bias commentator, which is probably why they dumped her for season two. Yeah, it's like soon after. She will not appear again. She will not appear again. She keeps fucking the ninjas.

There's like a little PSA at the end. I think it was Olympus. I forget where he's like, it's just like tsunami said. Anything is for he gets it wrong. Actually, he doesn't say the exact same thing he says. He's like, nothing is impossible. Libert life by the code of the dragon star. Right.

Yeah, which is which is what we like to bang somebody. Try to get it deep and you head, plan your life together, then go up and tell them about it. Pass them a message. Go through your, because you're shy. Which is what it is. Cap way, friend.

I mean, it's kind of a nothing PSA, but he does say like live by the code of the dragon star. And that is absolutely something I would have screamed as a kid, is like, jumped off the house. There you go. and that is absolutely something I would have screamed as a kid as I jumped off the house. There you go. God.

I'm Shannon Lee, and we will be back for Part 2 of WMAC Master's Podcast with Merit K. And of course, there's only one way we can end this podcast. OK, now here's Shannon's secret. Shannon. It's a great singer. She and I have been working on this record. Sorry, I think you guys are going to hold up. Okay, now here we go.

You gotta try your best! You gotta try your best! The world I am. Good, eh, good, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh I can't believe Shannon's hip-hop career didn't take off. If anybody had the credit. After hearing this, you know what I mean? It was like, oh. Oh, yeah. No, that's not cool.

Did you see that? I said I was down at the end of the episode. Yeah, I'm going in a little bit though. I got to go to space. Yeah, it's in space. It's where you like that vocal run. And then you know, it's like, Merrill, that was a vocal bag of radio. And then, Pat there rings his little bell.

Do you think you can hear me? I'm sent hooter, Frankfurt. And then Get off! Patrick rings his little bell! He is the new owner! Shitty in the Honda Zone, Theo and Astunda! Cupshawn, do kids in the wild! I'm Stank Honda! I'm Stank Honda, Frankfurt! I'm Stank Honda, Frankfurt! I'm Stank Honda! I'm Stank Honda, Frankfurt! I'm Stank Honda, Frankfurt!

Yeah, 9000th annual monster dog rally supreme the only monster truck rally where the trucks are also huge angry men and also hot dogs plus at least one other thing. Maybe more, always more. All your favorites are here. Three finger-lui the only truck that plays the blues. Aaron, Cruston, Adrian H, Aiden, Moat, Alpha, Scientist, Javo, Sworn, truck enemy of Dr. Truckopolis. Unandy, Armando Navar, Badger, the feral truck that implies you can tame a truck. You can't.

Benjamin Sironon, Bim Tolzer, Brandon Garlock, the truck magician. What's that behind your ear? It's a truck. Brandon, Garlock, the truck magician. What's that behind your ear? It's a truck! Brian Sailor, Brienne Whitney, Barry Tumat, the adult truck of all-ground truck. Cerelle, Rev, Chance, McDermott, Chris, Brower, Clementine, Danger, the truck who sees a therapist. Curious glare, Dan B. Truck Therapist, Dat FM Entertainment, Dean Castello, Donald Finney, Doctor,

Upward, Dusty's Red Title 3 Child Trucks in a trench coat, Trying to sneak into this R-rated truck rally. Eric Spalding, Every Zigg, Fancy Shark, Jellaho, The Well-Hum Truck, and the reason this truck rally needs an R rating. Greg Cunningham, Hamboan, Horaka, Harvey, Penguin, The Hot Truck. That's not a sex thing, it's overheating. Hot fart, The Hot Truck. HOT TRUCK! That's not a sex thing, it's overheating! HOT FART! THE HOT TRUCK!

Also, not a sex thing, it's DOLIN! HOT! THE HOT TRUCK! Who doesn't know it, so it's still pretty attainable! Jaber, Al Aiden, Jet, Oroski, Jim, Salter, aka Dr. Truckopolis, John Dean, John Hector McFarland, John McCammon, the truck who graduated college. John Minkoff, Joseph Sears, Josh Fabian,

Josh Quixol, the truck, who's a billionaire? Not the driver, it's the truck itself. Josh S, Josh who are great, canaisley, K.N.M.M. J.J.J. Nose, Truck, Jitsu, Mac Bizarreville is the only truck who knows how to counter truck Jitsu. Matt Riley, Mac Sparoy, the man who swore revenge, on all truck kind. Nobody tell him, he's also a truck. Michael Lair, Michael Wells, Mickey

Loman, Mike Styles, aka Dr. Truckinstein, Mojoo, aka Truckinstein's monster, truck, and D, Neil Bailey, Neil Shaper, Neku-101-A-War Rare! The truck, who's a man, who's a jungle cat, who's an urban vigilante, who's a little bit sassy Rare! Nick, Ralston, Ozzy, Olen, Patrick, Herbs, Rachel, the mood truck, don't assume you know what the colors mean Pup-pup-puppop-pop-pink is for destruction. Riannin, Sarkovsky, Sean Chase, Spoddy Reception. Super-not, the Funkadelic truck who became lost in time and is now king of the dinosaurs

and prefers to be called King Funkol Trockosaurus Rex III Ted H. the coward truck who assassinated the great king Pongolicious Trockosaurus Rex III Thomas Cabazos, Jimmy Leahy, Tom Sakula, Tommy G, Whalen Russell, Yanis, Ionitis, the only truck to discover a new type of cave salamander! Yosarian and featuring the truck sensations we've been truck-nation. Kids loving, moms wanting, dead, but grudgingly respected, even if they'll never admit it. Come on down this Sunday and see the one and only. Toasty God! The truck eating truck!

Come on down this Sunday and see the one and only. Toasty God! The truck eating truck!