The Dogg Zzone by 1900HOTDOG - Dogg Zzone 9000 - Episode 145, The President Goes To Heaven with Jamie Kelly

Episode Date: October 18, 2023

Brockway slips into a coma so it's up to Seanbaby and guest, Jamie Kelly, to forcibly convert him to Islam in the hopes of cracking his passcode that unlocks 10% of the world's money. They're watching 2011's The President Goes to Heaven - a movie about all those things! Probably!

1,900 hot dog! 1,900 hot dog! A podcast slammed with maximum height! Say hot dog podcast worked! Yeah! When you taste that nitrate power, you're in the dog zone for hours! Come on!

You don't remember! 1,900 hot dog! 1,900 hot dog! Welcome to the Dog Zone 9000, the official podcast of 1900Hotdog.com. The last home for internet comedy, new comedy articles every single day by the best comedy writers on the internet who are not currently being lashed by SEO robots, so come support us on patreon.com slash 1900 hotdog. If you enjoy the sensation of laughter, uh, you can only do it here. We're the last place for it. I'm fart president Robert Brockway and with me as always is my partner in comedy and farts president, fart Sean, baby.

It's a pleasure to be here. I am a fuckable Jersey devil cake used to learn lady Jersey Devils. That was last week. This week you are president Fart Goddain you. Our guest today is editor to the stars, song maker to the hot dogs, the people's girlfriend, Jamie Kelly. Hey, turns out I'm also here guys. Congratulations to you.

Thank you, I'm always an honor, never a tour. And, and my condolences for it being this episode. Yeah. First things first, Robert, how dare you? What did I, what did you have like video footage of me like kicking your dog? What did I do to deserve this? I was actually, I was kind of mad about Pink Lady

and then I realized that was actually Dan McQuade's fault. So I'm punishing both of you for him. I loved Pig Lady. This movie, he's a shit. Don't get me wrong. Yeah. I liked Pig Lady as an exercise,

but it got so frustrating. Like, what are you doing? Don't do that. It's like watching a horror movie and just yelling at the screen all the time. Like it's just sort of like, God, this is what I- But for comedy. For generations, it got a punchline, God, this is what I- But for comedy.

For generations of God, plus life. For comedy was. Yeah, right, but for comedy. This, there's nothing to take from it. There's no redeeming value to this. No coherent politics or message. This takes from you or theme. Of course.

Yes, yeah, I'm a shallow man. Before we get into what is quite possibly, and what I'm going to argue is the worst movie that has ever been made, and possibly will ever be made, Jamie, yes. What do you, where can we find more of you before we burn all of our goodwill here? Okay, well, as of the time of this recording,

I am working on and have been working on a large, like, public-facing project. Season three of my own podcast, the Approximal podcast, we're wrapping up. And the episodes will start coming out sometime around mid-November. So the easiest way for people to listen to this right now is to just follow me on one of two Twitter accounts.

You can go to my personal main account, which is Jamie Kelly XXX on the Twitter, or if you don't wanna see what my insights look like, you can go to the safe account that's for the podcast, and that's at a prox pod. And you'll eventually be spanned with everything that we have going on very soon.

I like that you have a secondary account just for cowards. Yeah. I'm like, if you follow me for my jokes, you're gonna see my butt. That's just the fucking deal we made. If you follow me for my butt, you're gonna hear my jokes. It's one or the other.

Yeah. They kind of connected, man. Like, you can't understand one without the other. All right, I'm gonna pause and plug our sister podcast big feats. That is Misha and Jason Pargin talking about the show Mount Monsters. We're doing a watch along watching every single episode. One episode, one podcast. We're gonna be doing it until the heat death of the universe because there are nine

fucking seasons to that show. It's a monster hunting, hillbilly, cryptid reality show that's kind of none of those things. It's wonderful. It's wonderful. Check out Big Feats for magic that will never be captured again. Certainly not in today's, the subject of today's podcast, which is, here we go. The movie, the president goes to heaven. It's from 2011. I can tell you that. For sure. It might be a comedy. It might be a medical, political thriller. I'm not sure what

this is. It's definitely at least an hour and 20 minute long scream from somebody about to get tackled at a Greyhound station. It is pure madness. It's written, directed, and produced by a mystery man named C. Tom. Let's actually just stop here. Give me, let's say Jamie, give me your overall thoughts without getting into specifics

about this movie and your experience watching it. Well, okay, the experience of watching it was a son of a bitch, and I hate the both of you. No one deserves this. But I found, again, I spent a lot of plates, so the research that I got to do on this movie kind of had to be done at the 11th hour. This movie requires about nine watches, right? I got through two and a half.

You watched this two and a half times? You didn't? Oh my god. I mean, I don't blame you. I don't blame you, but do diligence. But I found, because I couldn't keep up with the movie because it is the mind-fuck of all movies I mean there is a tagline if you go and look this movie up on i&db or whatever It's essentially about a president that goes to heaven

You had to like all dogs going to have a party. What about presidents? But if you go and you look up like the trailer for this movie, they call it a satire. Well, it's not bad. That is absolutely going to come into question. But the movie is this like a nine tentacled monster of no way of like the ciphering what the message of the movie is. I'm at a loss for words. And I'm sure you guys are to.

No, that's appropriate. That's appropriate. You should be I think my frustration is like the tagline for this movie, like it's a bunch of question marks a couple of like interrupted by the word fuck a couple of times. Like it's a bunch of question marks, a couple of like interrupted by the word fuck, a couple of times. I did two and a half times total because I watched like a,

I found out from a super cut, and then I watched the movie to be like, is this anything? And then I watched it again to take the notes and do the clips. So I've watched it about two and a half times, but I would not recommend that to anybody. I would honestly say watching it once

is like watching it seven times. Like most of the bits get repeated about seven times. Anytime I would feel like most of the movie contradicts the rest of it. And so it's probably a better work of art if you don't watch it. I shouldn't even say it's a better work of art. There's no saving this.

This is a fucking a diaria. We can break it down by like how many official scenes there are. There is an introduction which allows the audience to know that it's a movie about a president. There is, in that last about six minutes, that you're watching a movie about a president. And then there's like two minutes where the president comes to dire straits and winds up in a coma. And then the entire rest of the 115 minute left of runtime is about watching a fever dream of a president and a state of coma.

Right. Everybody, every single cast member, recites a different conspiracy theory that nobody has ever heard of. Agreed. Well, I've heard of some of these, uh, just as, uh, some of these were accurate.

They're like a, yeah, like a lot of the 9-11 stuff was, uh, those are real arguments. Like there's that priest character and he gave a lot of 9-11, like actual 9-11 arguments and then the ghost of the coma president would talk.

Okay, I'm gonna stop. We have to get into a view. Those sentences all make sense. Right, but we have to get. I wanna give my, my, like, whatever my blue sky I take in the movie is that if this was a, like a 9-11 conspiracy theorist guy and this is their idea of a satire

from their community standards. So like they're already crazy with no sense of reality. And then from there, they're like, what if we were also zany? And so there's no like, there's no floor on this house they built. And so it's like most, this movie has no, this is a movie review. There's no floor on the side. Super. Yeah, without foundation, there's no floor on the top. Super. Yeah, without foundation.

There's no foundation to this movie. Yeah. So you can't really get a handle on anything. Just screaming through the heavens. But also I want to make it very clear how I nept everyone involved in it. So if they give a line to a character and they're like, you need to be sarcastic here,

or you need to sort of give a wink that what you're saying is the opposite of what you mean. That's beyond everyone's capability. So everything is delivered like a foreign exchange student reading for the first time. And one of the characters actually literally is that, I think the president's daughter is played by somebody's gardener who does not speak English,

and that was a bold choice. So there are a lot of bold choices like that in the film. Impenetrable politics. Like I imagine the person who I imagine C. Tom is a libertarian in a way where like they have no civic responsibility or they just they're a selfish weirdo I guess is the quickest way to explain it. Yeah, the thing about this C-Tom, which is what we'll call him now, there's in the bonus, we'll talk a lot more

in depth about this character, but it seems like this is a guy with a moral, ethical, and political compass that points nine different ways. Yes. That you can't measure by any metric. No, I have no, coming out of what is basically a propaganda movie for his own beliefs. I have no idea what he believes.

I have, I couldn't even tell you which side he's on. So the movie opens in what is supposed to be George W. Bush's home. This is this character, the president, is very, very thinly veiled version of George W. Bush, but only as like a complete psychopath sees him. So it's going to take you a while to be like, who the fuck is this? And what does he, what is he trying to say?

George W. Bush is of course wildly corrupt, rich beyond his wildest dreams. He lives in a two bedroom Michigan new build. Looks like cost about $30,000. You see, you undersell it. I had it as a three-bedroom manufacturer at home in my notes. I was like, you know what I, I had notes about the God damn house too. I thought, because I'm from Texas, I thought this is a 1997 McMansion bill.

Yeah, yeah, everybody's got it. Yeah, got it. This is like lower, definitely lower middle class starter home Money that they got the rights they like they keep trying to sell his His fabulous wealth by the number of servants he has so they have like six people trying to cram into this tiny spot and it's I'm so sorry right from the I think for the sake of explaining the movie I think it's also important to say on a technical level. This is one of three sets

Right explaining the movie, I think it's also important to say on a technical level, this is one of three sets, right? This is one of three sets, and I imagine this might be C. Tom's actual house. There's no way it's not. There's no way it's not. I love how it's definitely, they're trying to make it like, oh, so luxurious. And so like, here's this dinner, they're like, here's your fancy dinner beyond anyone's wildest dreams

and it's two plates of like unripe and strawberries And they would they'd show like the the slaves like cleaning all the every spot off the grapes It's just like this is he bought three dollars worth of fruit and then had someone clean it and they're like, God, what a luxury That luxury and I love that you mentioned the grapes right away because that plays into like the characters that were introduced into like So we have the president, right? And then we have we have a first lady and I imagine like first lady is supposed to be like a lady McBeth kind of person and and to show like how shitty I know hold on And to show like how shitty, I, I know hold on, that the president and the first lady are such like shitty people,

the, when those grapes come into question, the first lady is given a line about, she says, well, I see, did you wipe off those grapes? Did you wash those grapes or a line like that to show like how personality the first lady is, to show how shitty the first lady is to show how shitty the first lady is. That's character development in this movie.

Yeah, it's classy. I will also say one of their servants, the first servant that comes in sets down a table is an elderly Indian man or possibly a Pakistani man that is C-Tom. That is my notes. Six seconds in on the largest view of the YouTube version of this movie, six seconds in when it says directed by C. Tom. O. C. Tom, he saunters into the scene. So this could be C. Thomas Howell in ground face.

My theory still holds. I think it's important to mention something that I thought was really funny in the credits it said, and introducing. I was going through the actor credits and said, and introducing, and then literally, I'm not joking, 20 names pop up after introducing. It's everybody's first anything. And it's in this unreadable red, white, and blue font, and it's so fucking funny. Just introducing, and then it's five screens of four names, hilarious. Like, I do. Un, unintentional, but hilarious.

So this isn't the wildest clip I'm going to play, but we need to establish very early on the quality of, of everything, the quality of, of absolutely. I'm certain you can hear how bad this looks just by the clip. So before the clip, I was gonna say, my first impressions of this movie, worst porn I've ever seen. Yes, it's very porn. It's very like,

porn in a way that they don't even do porn anymore. I have notes on the production quality of this shit all day long, but let's do the clip. It looks nicer than the porn I make. So I was like, it's fun. Oh, I can give you some tips man We can get that we can bump that up. I don't know You know I have to settle for this

Nobody has to fuck to like this. This is I feel like setting up lighting is terrible for play Not if you do it right man. Look I I'm okay, we all do romance. I bet I've been on worst sets. Everybody's much more professional than me. I'm just like, I guarantee you, I guarantee you people have their actual dicks out and are way more professional than this. So this clip is the president. He is, all we know about him so far is that he is going to retire with his wife and they're going to go see the world and this is the conversation that happens.

Honey, you remember during our honeymoon, we're sitting on the pier and you wish it had a star. That I want to spend a whole year bringing them up. This fucking collide, he has to use it the whole time. It seems like just yesterday, my, my, how time's up, flashed. The acting. I was always so busy. I had time to build my nest egg in my career.

Now, all of these people are wearing clothes. I'm retired. We have time, money, fame, and everything else we could have done. Second take, second take. Plan this. Great. No, they nailed it. I'm glad you got a round to it. You have so many great, powerful friends around the world.

People whom you have made them powerful and you've made them what they are today. You could spend a whole year cruising around the world just visiting your friends. I think we could spend a whole year cruising around the world just visiting your friends. I think you could spend a couple of years watching the fish in the oceans, the antelope and the savannas, the flowers and the mountains. More things. The fish is the oceans. We're gonna watch the fish in the oceans. Ladies and gentlemen, the president.

The president. The United States of America, an actual movie. Somebody filmed all of that, they did it on purpose. It's not a school play, it's not a C- in a school play. I want to get this because I will keep saying, there's 20 million ways, I'm gonna say this throughout this. So let me just get it out of the way right now. These actors had just had their

lines handed to them. And they're constantly looking at the camera, off camera, and there's no eye line. Let me try to put it into words. If I was teaching a fourth grade theater class, and you gave me this play, I would put a plastic bag over your head, and I would, I would watch the light go out of your eyes. And I... So, look, let's harsh, but let's leave it in, because it's very true. It's a bad accurate. It's one of the worst things, just quality wise, on any level I've ever seen.

It's incredible, but that's our baseline. You gotta remember, as we talk about this, that's the quality, the actors, the sound, that's the lines that they're delivering, there's fucking mad Calliope music behind it for no reason. They're gonna sync up for no reason. Well, the mad Calliope music is because, I guess the director thinks that this is the force

So he's gonna pick forceful, you know royalty free music He thought it was a crowd-fishing and sink song. He's like a hot pop song. Yeah, he saw a hashtag description and the royalty free Fucking website that he got this from and it said clowning about perfect perfect. Yeah, now soundtrack soundtrack by a circus monkey somewhere just dancing for his his nickels it's uh... it's a choice uh... here so so he's

we're still establishing what a piece of shit this guy is that's the main thing that's the main thing of the establishment is that i don't recommend anybody watches movie just know that everything that we're talking about right now is existing in like the first six minutes of the movie and it's to establish that the president's an asshole yes he literally says uh... he says he doesn't care about that somebody comes in and says they're here for a veterans group for injured veterans he says all veterans can go to hell

makes it very clear case you were wondering his stance on that. His wife tells him that he doesn't have to hold ugly babies anymore and they're both very relieved by that. This is a fucking dead-on mean-spirited Trump parody. Like, God damn it, that's exactly what I was gonna say. I was gonna say I had to remind myself 20 minutes in that this was not current.

This is from 2011. It fucked me up when I saw it. I went back and I went, whoa, whoa, whoa. Yeah. He's like a wizard. Because you think like no one would just come out against like veterans and ugly people. You're just like, no, wait, Donald Trump fucking did that like nine or 10 different times. Almost like, almost word for word.

I like that he was predicting the future because he was not, he was five years too late at least to be current. In 2011, he's like, I'm gonna take down George W. Bush. It was so good. Are you? Is it time for that? I was probably 30 minutes in before I realized that it's supposed to be George W. Bush. If I'm being honest.

Yeah, it takes a long time because it's so fucking all over the place. You have no idea what this guy's agenda is. I got a note on 2011. Look, when you look at the five movies that this guy's made, and it's, and the only information that we have is that it exists on IMDB, like, three fifths of them all say two thousand eleven so i think these movies were actually made earlier and he discovered i am to be at two thousand eleven and just mark the mall's two thousand eleven

at the date that he created his own account interesting theory it's it's fairly true because i mean no one could make three movies like this in one year you need like an entire weekend to make a movie like this i know at least this one was made in 2010. For a reason, we will get to in the bonus podcast where we dig into the guy, the actors, the behind the scenes of why this exists. But at the very least, this one was made in 2010.

So yes, it was many, many years too late to be dunking on Bush, especially in this way, which is incomprehensible, just completely incomprehensible. And way too long ago to be dunking on Trump. And yet way too long ago was in several years ahead of dunking on Trump. God, this is our profit. Fuck. So George, he only called the president. So when the president says you become president, he got a special account in a Swiss bank,

which is how a child would describe it. And all the gas companies and war profiteers put 10% of all profits in the secret account as payment for him like endorsing them and letting them ruin the world. Yeah. It's called the president tax. It's called the President-Tex. It's called the, it's basically called the President-Tex. And then you get a secret code. It's all the undersecret code that he forgot.

He forgot, he forgot. But he wrote a clue to it on a random piece of copy paper that he found in like an old photo album. Exactly. Yeah, he was, he was rifling through papers. And just it just happened to be one single sheet of 11 by eight then some clue happens that's yeah that was that was the thing yeah was it it was a it was

a clue and he says my god that's right it's in the last place anybody would look and I would like you to completely forget about that because that does not pay off yet this is not was it's not was it the actual answer or was it a clue because i think with like the tragedy that's implied was that he found it and then the thing happens. I think I think what here's my theory. I think the code is will get to this. The code is in the box. I think that's why he was because he leaves. He sees that piece of paper and says, oh, that's the last place. Anybody would look. And then he gets up to go to the garage and goes to a mysterious box. And they find him laying on top of it.

He has had a stroke. Gotcha. And he is in a coma. The first thing everybody asks the doctor is whether or not he believes in print and no power of prayer. Uh, I just want to say the last place I'd look is not your mysterious secret box in your garage. I'm saying, if I'm looking for something and I find a mysterious box in your garage. I'm saying if I'm looking for something

and I find a mysterious box in your garage I'm like okay well open that last it's probably nothing in there. And looking for secret codes surrounded by what is anywhere from 8 to 14 people buzzing around him. Yeah that's the theme of the film. Is it like, just scheme it privately in front of like 20 random like butlers and nurses? And so we only know all of this that he's had the stroke that he's in a coma because we cut away to, I guess, what I'm supposed to think is a reporter doing a newscast.

What it actually is is like a long-haired line cook in like a mens warehouse suit. No equipment, no microphone, no camera, no like ticker on the bottom of the screen to make you think like this is a newscast. It's just a guy standing in the street in a $60 suit. The president's down, we've been formed by the worst reporter that's ever been on television. That's that reporter, like I want to say, um, Shelby Edgar Winners. It reminds me of, like, when like a four-year-old gets up and does, like, a show in front of the family,

like, it's like a child, like, a very tiny child doing a newscaster. I mean, that's this entire movie. It's like a four-year-old doing a show about, like, this terrible forechand subforum. They landed on accidentally, and they want to explain it to their parents doing a show about like this terrible forechand subforum, they landed on accidentally, and they wanna explain it to their parents

through the medium of play, of stage play. Yeah, that's what this movie is. Did you get the vibe from that newscaster that he was maybe like a wrestler, like maybe a low-care wrestler? Maybe like a local, not a professional. No, not a professional. I have in my notes exactly Philipsy Moore Hoffman.

Oh, that's good. Yeah, Philipsy Moore Hoffman. Yeah, that's what I was like. Yeah. That's what I was like. Like from Twister, like specifically from Twister. And adds nothing, adds nothing. Subtract a lot of charm.

But add, add absolutely nothing. That's just the quality that we're playing with. So everybody in the world has crowded into the president's tiny hospital room. The president of the United, Fort Leop, former president in the United States of America, gets, I wanna say, like a poverty level hospital room, like it's barely big enough for his bed.

And of course, it's what they could afford. And everybody crams into it, a priest, two doctors, a nurse, two secret service men, his daughters, and the first lady, all crammed in here, and the priest begins to pray. And this is legitimately one of the more beautiful parts of this movie, this prayer, and I'm just gonna play a little clip of it here. He gave everything in his pocket, in the collection plate, every every week and we were grateful for this. He gave an extra $10 and thanksgiving to help feed the poor. Wow, what's that smell? It smells like the president just dropped a bomb. Let us continue our prayers in another room. Damnit, he has no control. Call the doctor.

Who's in charge? This has got to be stopped. One time in the president's house, an employee passed gas in a grade hall. He had security, being my arrest him. Charged him with treason for attacking the president with deadly chemicals. Wait, wait, wait, wait for the president.

He never tolerated passing gas or anything like that. He hated broccoli because it made gas. You're putting one to throw up with all this nonsense. I'm not putting up with nothing. I will not tolerate anything like this. I have a funeral in 10 minutes. Excuse me. You can't do it for the next two days. Time for a head job. Let's continue with our press service. I have a funeral of 10 minutes at the decisions every fucking line somehow that's a punch line. It's so fucking weird. I love it. I have so bad. Let's let's recap a little bit. So this priest is praying over the the president. He stops because the president farted so badly that everybody had to leave

the room. The first lady got extremely mad that he is allowed to fart and that he is currently farting. She commiserates with somebody about how angry the president gets at farts. To the extent that he kills people if they fart around him and has a death in it against broccoli. The doctor comes in to tell them, don't worry everybody, we stopped the farts and then they all go back into to continue talking about how he destroyed Iraq and killed babies. Right. Absolutely. I love it. Double fart interruption. No jokes. I wrote my notes.

I still don't think this is comedy. I know that it was Channel 69 and I know we just had a long scene about Farts, but I was like, I feel like this is a person who just thinks Farts are very an important part of life, but it doesn't ring like someone trying to make someone laugh. Well, I don't think they knew the punchline was I have to get to a funeral. Yeah, no. No, every bit of comedy, it comes completely from the other side of being inept. So we're still in this scene. They bring in a Catholic priest this time to do more prayers.

And of course, all the prayers are just real heavy-handed expositions delivered straight to camera about how much George Bush sucks, how he's a murderer and he destroyed my wrath. I think it's very important to say, like I don't know, like this is almost 20 minutes in when we get to this point, right?

When I saw this where they start like cycling through clergymen, and that one static shot, this like broke my brain. I couldn't like, I was like, how much, how much more of this can I watch? Because everything about it is so inept. Well, it's because they don't end the scene.

Like the camera is coming to do it. A, it lasts for a thousand years. That was the thing that got me right away. But as a person that makes stuff, it's a camera on a tripod. There's no cutaway shots, there's no singles, there's no, there's nothing. It's one single shot. And in order to like edit like garbage footage, they just do these like one second Zulf fades from one line delivery to the next. And

whatever he's trying to do with like cycle all these clergymen through it's all played by the same actors skinny Santa Claus that plays a Catholic priest and I maybe a Protestant and uh well we'll get to the Muslim bit and uh you know but like you know I'm saying right like this was this hurt me I don't know if I can make it through the rest of the movie what was a mistake and what was intentional? And like, when, like the first time it was the same actor, I was like, am I supposed to not know this?

Like it's just, yeah. I, cause I'm fine just suspending my disbelief, you know, I understand. Like, some things are Japanese puppeteers. You don't, just don't pay attention to everything. But I'm here. Here's where for the first time, just naked anti-Semitism comes in just like 1950s caliber open, open Jew-hating to an incredible degree.

But since this is 2011, if you were to take this movie 20 years back this might have had a not kindhearted but an understandable type of zaniness to it. Like, oh, this is like during the era where it was like, ha ha, edgy racism, but obviously far too late for it. And I want to remind everyone, I think this movie is trying to be a comedy. I'm not apologizing for it, but I think this might not be at least by the author's intent hate speech. It is. 100% is. I just don't know if he meant for it to be

It Proveably it's it. Yeah, and he did do it to be good. You might have still thought that was funny Right, I won't I would take that one away from you, but but no He is I was trying to add context. I think I just muddied the waters. I believe you, because you did the actual sea Thomas Hall research. It's really an bad faith humor. That's what it is. But it's also not really bad faith. It turns out you should listen when people tell you.

And he is, it's understandable that you didn't, because what he is telling you is just fucking nonsense. Just nonsense, we're strong together. But at the the end where they give one envelope of money to each of the holy men, the Jewish man demands to and they give it to him. And finally we bring in the the Muslim holy man and it he says a lovely prayer on the all on board and then he says the name allah at the end and they arrest him.

If you like watch the secret service person that if you're looking at screen, it's gonna be like to your right, when the Muslim clergyman comes in, the secret service person, he like puts his finger up to his headphone or whatever, and he does a little nod, as if to say, oh no, we know what's gonna happen with this guy.

Before he ever says the a lot bit Like there's like he's On this Islamic priest before he even opened his mouth. He's like this guy's gonna say something about a lot How did he guess like we already know we're gonna bring this guy to the hallway. We're just waiting for the word Oh, so he was just ahead in the scene. Right, I think that's funny. They were feeding him his lines in the scene like two minutes ago. That's what it actually was.

They were feeding lines. Am I crazy or was this like two or two of the five other priests in Brown face? I don't. It's all the same guy. It's all the same guy, okay, good. It's all skinny Santa Claus, yeah. It's all the same guy.

And that guy is also several other guys on the movie. They're not that many actors in this movie because actors cost up to $900 per movie and nobody can afford that. That's really expensive. That's unreasonable. The studios are right. The studios are right.

I did like hell. I did like hell. How they openly conspired to murder him for saying the word a law. I had they explained it to her like Dude that just means God a different language you fucking idiot, and she's like okay Can we still at least murder him and they take him into the hall and murder him? They murder in the bottom is two buttons to the head two buttons to the head in a less private room They're like let's take him to a less private area in murder

The best sound effects in the world just some guy hitting a hammer on some plywood. Three times the road. It's perfect. Didn't even download fucking gunshot 1.wave. I just like that they settled on that the worst way to end the scene on this scene that I want to say takes 20 minutes. This gag of rotating priests, it goes on so long, and they don't know where to end it, but they do know where to end it, and that is shooting Muslim holy men in the head, one times. Because there's, what was the line that the one secret service guy said, like, well, we do this all the time, and then they take them out the whole energy to do it.

That's like one of those things is probably true, but also like not really commentary like you think, but they also don't, I don't know. It's kind of that conspiratorial thinking where like nothing means anything. There's no difference between good or bad or smart or dumb like whatever, you just fucking whatever. You just wait, you just wait any time. It's mostly just improv work So here's where the first of the divergence that takes it from just like political

Idiacy into true surrealism and that's that they decide to have the president himself who is in a coma Who is lying in the bed? We will now cut away to him? I guess in Limbo and what Limbo looks like is a green screen of that same tube bedroom from the start. So he's trapped in the dining room. You can have a green screen go anywhere in the world. Fictional places and they're like, no, I can't afford anything but that same tube bedroom. But in the text of the film, I think he's in the hospital

because I think he's talking to the, trying to talk to the people in the hospital. Yes. Well, they did not film the background of that. Right. It's a complete mystery because if this is the director's house, then why did he have to green screen it? Right.

Why you could do anything as a green screen or you could just film in the house. What the fuck is going on? It's choices like that that let you know this is a true madman. Like there's no reason for this. There's my genius. There's my genius.

Well that's what I mean is sometimes there's madness that can be mistaken for genius but no one would mistake this for genius. This is just something a normal or smart person would never do. So now we have the ghost of the Comotose President is now a major character in this movie, and he will deliver exposition to the camera just like every other character will deliver exposition to the camera. And you have to factor that in.

So they wheel him in for like a medical inspection and what we do while they're doing that, we stay in the hallway with the chief physician and I don't know who the hell these other people were supposed to be, just lobbyists, other politicians, I guess. Yeah, I guess. It doesn't matter.

I'm dyad, I doubt they even had a name. And they're here to ask about the coma ward in this wing. And the chief physician first brags that they have 300 coma patients, which is, again, one of those things you probably not supposed to think is funny. Yeah, but that's hilarious that you think. Very funny, very funny number to choose.

I've heard the numbers to choose. That's like a spaceship. That's like a, that's like a settler spaceship. Like these are. Yeah, that's cold storage. So they have 300 coma patients in this ward, and they say they have some concerns. And one of the lobbyists asks about the team beauty queen

who was in a coma in this ward for five years and then got pregnant in that coma. And the doctor says that's too bad they offered to perform an abortion, but the parents were Catholic and didn't want an abortion. And he says this is a line for line. Who knows? Maybe that kid would grow up to be president. Do you have a guess at what the agenda is of this man at this point in the scene?

I took this as an outright confession because you focused on the abortion part, but I focused on how there were probably five to six sentences about how like how could you resist a beautiful the young lady? Well that comes next. Okay, and I have a clip of that. Okay, I thank God because that's I did not want to try to explain that. Being in the first place, doctor. Look, a girl was 15 when she was admitted in the coma ward. She was as pretty as an angel, though comato. Men will be men. If you find a beauty queen lying there offering no reason to jump.

How long can a man resist? Especially if you have a whole body, including private parts, who hold and feed her every day. The president is in no such danger He's not young and the end of list Yes, you know things keeping him out of the thing is that nobody was prosecuted for that crime The police department could not even identify the culprit isn't that something I think there was a cover

Father the child was identified. It was very easy with DNA tests. Why was he not prosecuted? He told the police he was only one of many who took advantage of that girl and many other people. Don't worry, my God. Past 10 minutes. I can't even want to be the fall guy.

So the prosecutor decided to close the book on the case after he killed that. What? She died? How did the good and died? after the criminal died. What did he die? How did the criminal die? After the child was born, one day she was still going to death. She stopped breathing. They still haven't changed the laws and these things are still going on in your coma words. For many perverts, getting a job in this coma word is like going to heaven. It's like going to heaven. For many, for many farmers, I won't speak for all of them.

Okay. For a good segment of the pervert population, they would like to be in your cobalt award, Upside-Tual Assault. What the fuck was that fucking- That was- Hell like 20 minute bit. A full confession.

The writer of that scene, if he met an unconscious person, it would not even occur to them to not get it pregnant. Right, there was no condemnation. At all, just excuse after excuse. If it was an agenda, like can you believe these people are doing this?

Somebody would have offered some resistance to the idea that maybe it's not okay and nobody in that scene does. They think it's a shame that it happened, but when he says, who could resist? They're all like, yep. Yeah, dude, I get it, man. We've all been there.

Who feeding and clothing a person? Oh, it gets me rock hard too. That was part of the list. Feeding and clothing, that was his word choice. That was his list. Again, this is weirdly prescient to that terrible president we had, because he had this tweet at one point where he's like,

there was like a sexual assault scandal in the military. And Donald Trump's reaction to that was, yeah, would you expect God, come on! You put guys and girls together, come on! Like, as if it just would not occur to him to not rape. You actually started to convince me that maybe this was, yeah, like an act of prophecy? Yeah, this is an actor prophecy this whole movie It felt like it the whole way I was watching through it

I couldn't believe that this was something that occurred in 2011 probably 2008 Right, I didn't even put that together. I was just like this is fucking madness Let's try to figure out what the agenda is but so far the agenda is everybody watch out for Trump. He's coming Yep, some notes from Thomas shit figure out what the agenda is, but so far the agenda is everybody watch out for Trump. He's coming. Yep. Some notes from Thomas Shit. Maybe we're sharpshooter fallow saying this. That's why that's why this man was a mystery and disappeared off the face of the earth.

He got sucked back to whatever time he came from where he went to warn us through the medium of the only medium that survived the apocalypse, which is terrible movies filmed in a living room. And the powers that be recognized that he was too powerful and he had to be stopped. So the guy that was talking for most of that clip, we heard a few guys, we heard like, the incredulous white guy, we heard sexual assault Dracula, and the main guy that says like, that 15 year old girl, who could resist. He had to clean all of her holes. A man is just a man. That character is named Chief Physician.

He's in the movie quite a bit. Just note that down for the bonus episode. I already have a split. Yeah, that's important. Oh boy. I noticed the president himself was in the scene. They in a clever disguise, I think you wore a hat. Is it in my think of the right scene?

Yeah. Yes. He's in several scenes because they don't have up to five people. Nope. You got around out the number somehow. You have four people in this movie. I just had some of them recycled. That was enough. If they gave him like a mustache or like some funny glasses, I'd be like, okay, I'm not supposed to think that's the president but I was like, okay, so the president got up and he's sneaking out with this crew of people Like for 40 just his ghost. Yeah, for 40 seconds. Yeah, I thought it was either his ghost or an escape attempt It was his ghost just like hanging out. I don't know. I got nothing better to do Just put on a hat or like planting the seed that like someone should have sex with the unconscious bodies.

Like, hey guys, you know what's great is all these, they're like, oh no, the president's in no such danger. He's not young. He's super ugly. He's not young. No, guys, he's not so all these kind of handsome, right? Huh? God, these are dark jokes.

You're young. Jamie, cut all of this. Cut all of this, Jamie. Never, never. But like seriously, the hallmarks of an author, I don't know. I profess this man's genius. I'm coming around a little bit.

I started off, I started off not, but we'll see what other predictions come true. So there's a bit in here about that they grail on about how the president doesn't have enough insurance for his health monitoring. It's like the fact that he has 10% of all war profits, the world is average. That's all tied up in secret treasure box, though. You can't get to it.

That was unfair of me. I'm going to take that back. He's not liquid right now. All of his cashaches and treasure box Is in the box of the head of his enemies will get to that will get to that he does keep ahead It was through like a family circus misunderstanding The first lady comes in to talk to her. Now, Komatos, half Komatos, ghost husband. He argues with her from the hospital ghost plane.

I so lost this is what this is supposed to be. Because neither can allegedly interact with each other, but they're still having conversations. They're both really concerned for his reputation amongst all of these things. Like, if anything comes out, it's his reputation that's going to suffer. Some documents have been leaked about the 111 attacks so that we don't get sued by 9-11. Just because I've only seen this two and a half times, this is before we have an actual medium. Yes.

Right. Who is wholly unnecessary because we're having these conversations now. Yeah. I feel like he realized, like somebody said, how do they understand each other? He's like, oh, I'll write a medium in, but we got to use all that old footage. Yeah. There was a moment here, I have in my notes that I was very confused by, I doubt, we'll find the answer today, but it felt like the characters in the movie

had been convinced by the right-wing media that they were the ones who put them in a coma and they themselves had help. So they have inserted themselves into a conspiracy theory from the television they watch. Did this, am I making sense to you? Is this, was this your take on it? It makes sense, but it sounds like

you're constantly grasping at things that would help make this make logical sense. And there's nothing, there's nothing there. It's just pure madness. Well, I feel like the writer of the movie doesn't have an understanding of other people or empathy for other people. And so he's like, he tries to imagine all these sheep that just believe the media

and like what they must think. And so when he's trying to picture them, he's picturing like such an idiot that they themselves have been tricked to rewrite their own history to suit the narrative of Alc's Jones or whatever they're listening to. Maybe, again, I'm doing what you're saying. I'm trying to find a threat of logic. But I-

Yeah, that's one of the dumbest things I've ever heard. But, it's also way too smart for this movement. Oh, no. So I don't think that's true. No, no, no, no, no. We all get credit for trying because this is torture. This movie's torture. I'm not saying Sean's stupid for saying that. I'm saying that the person who would do that

would be executing one of the dumbest things. It would hurt. It would hurt my feelings. If you said I was stupid but I didn't take it that way. No, no. I'm saying you would be very stupid if you were doing that. I think this guy's too stupid to be doing the stupidest thing I've ever heard. Yes, okay, I get what you're saying now. My feelings are hurt, though, for the record. That's okay, just so long as they're hurt for the right reason.

So they lead some documents about the 111 attacks, TMTM. We openly admit that George Bush personally killed the weapons inspectors which i don't think was ever part of that scandal i i don't think you don't recall that i don't think he ran out there with a knife and stabbed them all as they were trying to inspect weapons i don't think that's what the scandal was i think it's republican approval rating would have gone up so high if he was actually seen on tv murdering a man with a knife

well he would still be president. Yeah. And maybe things would be better. I would never want to sit that 20 years ago with today. Maybe things would have been better. Maybe he should have gone out there and killed the weapons inspectors with a knife. He personally mailed anthrax to every senator who voted against the Patriot Act. That's so huge.

George W. Bush was personally responsible for the anthrax games. That was him. It was from his home address. He nailed it from the White House. Yeah, I feel like that would explain his coma. If he's just completely covered in trace amounts of anthrax. That makes sense. That makes sense.

It's helped problems. Finally, he talks and length about how He had Saddam Hussein who was this is called Gotham which is just so fucking weird Yeah, it took me forever to be like that has that word has so many actual associations They're like why would you use that word? Yeah, that's what fucking Batman lives you dumb ass You can't you can't take that as a Saddam Hussein If Batman lives, you dumbass. You can't take that as a sedum who's sane, suited him, but that's what he means.

When he talks about how he has Gotham's head on a silver platter, which is, I swear to God, the Joker, as I said that, exact line. Yeah, there it is. There it is, there's your connection. And we chipped the waves. One percent of the mind of a madman.

We're going down this deep, deep hole where George Stavgubush may have personally killed every single major political figure of the last hundred years, but hold on and we're going to go into the next sound clip here. People still believe in you, you know. Honestly, they do. I've set the record straight, honey. I will. The world. Excuse me, ma'am.

I'm here to change the president's diaper. So you need to come back in about a few hours. Two hours. Because I am going to go to town on this unconscious body. How could I resist changing a diaper? The most erotic. Oh God, that fucking unopened box of depends is at least 25 scenes. They're just per rating that that is probably the the principal character of the film is that that box of depends. That's probably the

the single prop that costs the most money. Yeah. In this movie, is an unopened box of depends. The, I didn't, I started noticing the diapers and changing in unconscious bodies, poopy pants, early in the movie. And I was like, I should probably count how many times they make reference to Farts and Buds and Pupu. It's in the thirties. I didn't like keep a real tally, but. there's there's an underscore of a certain like fetish going on with this guy.

Absolutely. No, I'm going to say the C plot of this movie is a president butt stuff. President poop and butt stuff is legitimately there's an arc for the poop. It gets some closure at the end. You're right. Yeah, there's an arc for the poop It gets some closure at the end You're right. Yeah, there's God damn it's uh, that's the C plot of this movie is President poopy pants Is the name of the brand depend or depend?

Yeah, that's a good question. I feel like they might have made a custom diaper bag. You're right It's a it's a box of depend He was worried about getting sued by depends That's worried about it. I got sued by 9-11. 9-11 was gonna get him. The brand looks like it's called depend and somehow in the vernacular We've decided to say depends. Okay, so it is actually depend. So depend can sue him for this. Perhaps we should inform. Yeah, that's a real box of diapers is perhaps we should inform. Yeah, that's a real box of diapers. In every sense, we were willing to say, we wasn't willing to say 9-11.

So we were moving the fucking box of diapers. But is willing to put an actual brand name in front and center. Where also the B-plot is sort of a medical drama. As they A-plot is the president, the money, the secret money is he're gonna come out of the coma. B plot is like, there's like some doctors, they're having a little mini medical drama,

and they are deciding to map the president's brain activity. President's brother was for one. We need to change the president's diaper here. And watch them. I need you to come back in about two hours. Find the paper towel. That's right. They did the scene again.

Almost word for word, about 30 seconds late. You need to come back in about two hours. Again, I love that it's, because there's not visiting hours. It's about two hours. Like I have a thing to do, and it's gonna take, give or take 120 minutes to wrestle this dirty diaper off of the president and put a new one on.

It's the wildest decision to use that same joke which was never good. Twice within a minute, word for word. Word for word. Just to interrupt the scene twice. Aside from the poopy pants, there's a lot of weird stuff going on here because the ghost president is starts watching a 9-11 conspiracy video, a 1-11 conspiracy video. And he goes for, yes.

And for a while he's arguing against it as if like, hey, I didn't do any of this shit. And then he decides, okay, I did it. But he has like fussy notes about it. He's like, come on, I wouldn't use a control demolition. Come on, I wouldn't do something so fucking obvious. I would let it, wait, no, let's say this, right. He says, and this was, I guess the directors

like joke on like bushisms, because it happens, I think two, maybe three times in the movie, he says, oh, the me did this. Me wouldn't have blank, blank, blank. Yeah, he does that at least twice. And first I thought it was horrible writing, but then it repeated. So I had to think, okay, this is purpose. Like, what was the And first I thought it was horrible writing, but then it repeated. So I had to think, okay, this is purpose.

Like what was it? Then you knew it was horrible writing. It's super timonaric. It's like, like you can see, like at one point in the timonaric writing process, they're like, me, me, I'm a tan man. And you're like, okay, how do they get there? That's like so genius and insane.

And then this movie does it and you're like, wait, this is just insane. The night 11 conspiracies, Sean, you're more of a person this. You say what this video was talking about. It's like a legit conspiracy. It's not making it up. Yeah, these are kind of old like talking points from truthers and the president is debunking them. I don't know, but not as himself, as someone might think the president might debunk them. It's very strange.

Being well-versed more in these conspiracy theories, is there a reason why he's actually watching the movie in the Ghost Brain in reality? Because the movie is not playing in reality, it's playing in the Ghost Brain. Right, no, that, as far as I know, that doesn't have any... I know, that doesn't have any. I know, why do they have a bold man in a wig?

Looks who's looking at the ceiling the entire time, be the anchor delivering the report? He represents the truth we carry with us in our heart. That, there it is. I'm happy. That's concealed. Yes, it's a bad wig. It's concealed.

Yep. I was trying to figure out, was that character supposed to be like a sange? It was, I genuinely have no idea that character is. I have no idea what that was supposed to be, what that was supposed to achieve. Maybe.

There must be, the priest is such a bold choice. I mean, there must be a priest involved in 9-11 conspiracies. I don't know of them though. I was gonna say, I really like that we meet the president's family. Like they come in and like get really pissed off about us, Farts.

But his daughter is like a Latina lady who clearly does not speak English and she's like reading Q-Cards phonetically. And I thought that's a really funny choice for the president to have like a foreign-born daughter, a biological... Yeah, was that commentary? I don't think it was.

I think they didn't have enough cash. Yeah yeah I think they just don't know any white ladies so so the president's family comes in and they're having like familial drama there which is supposed to be like the scantles around the the bush kids about how they were too wild and they're having drinking problems dad we won't be visiting you anymore you think like a dead dog. We can't stand it. I can't put my honey pooh through this. The sea plot advances and notice the writer put poop into the sweet talk, the lover name of the character. Honey poop. To bring to mind poop without actually saying. So we are getting very preoccupied with the

sea plot it's getting a lot of airtime in this section which is that the president has pooped himself and will continue to poop himself non-stop throughout the movie. The first lady here gets an update from the chief physician and he explains they finally figured out why the president is showing so much brain activity and that's because there's a mosquito right flying around his head making noise and that's how they can prove he's responsible uh... he's responsive to sound and the first lady says

uh... mosquito why every time he sees a mosquito he screams and chaps and curses and the doctor says we figured that. He's a really excellent lineread. It's exactly how they say it in the film. But they did, but they attached electrical sensors to his vocal cords so that I could

tell he was, he's been trying to scream this in time. He's been trying to speak with all these terrible poops. I'm trying to communicate. I really like they have a press conference about how we kind of moved his finger, but they can't verify that he moved his finger. And that's it. Then the fucking press conference is over. Just like, hey, somebody, they're kind of a liar, said that he moved his hand.

All right. No questions. When that happened, did you notice like somebody threw a CD or a DVD at the side of his bed when that happened? What the fuck was that? What is that? That was weird. Yeah, I don't fucking know.

And that was somehow the proof that he moved his finger. Okay, so they have it. Someone's just returning. They borrowed that from the president years ago and they're like, now's my chance to return it. So there was a DVD playing, it gets ejected, and I think maybe it was supposed to somehow get ejected and fall next to him and then his hand moves.

What actually happens is somebody visibly, you can see their hand, walks up and throws it at his hand, and then their hand moved. It was so weird. It's between that and the random pause to do mosquito brain scan shit. Like there's just genuine non-political lunacy. Like this is genuinely somebody

breaking down from a lack of medication somehow. Remember the secret box, they bring up the secret box in here that there's a bit about the documents and the garage sent to the presidential library. Again, fucking weirdly prophetic about all these stolen documents. I'm going to stop you right there. The nurse has to change the president again. Okay, go ahead.

Okay, take about two hours to see it about, about two hours. Then they talk about the secret box and the first lady's like, oh, there's a secret box. I do not know the combination to the secret box. What could be inside the secret box? If you can't find the combination, just let them break the lock. So it's like so these are the stakes of the movie, right? That they're getting inside this fucking magic treasure box and Normally you would want to tell the audience. Oh, here's why you wouldn't be able to just Open it, right? Like oh, you can't just break the lock. It will explode or something. And here they do the exact opposite. They pay lip service to the thing everyone is thinking,

where, so, yeah, just fucking take a hammer, pop open the box. So the thing keeping the sticks of the movie from being realized right now is that it's an expensive lock. It's like a $30 lock. Yeah, come on. Like, I don't want to break it. Don't want to break it.

Press it if I want that again, after he's done blasting these two hour turns into these divisions. Which he is not, let's get out of here, two hours. Change of the president again. Back to the medical drama, the president's kidneys have failed. All right.

But there's a wait list, but they can skip it, but they won't, because that's unethical, but it's only unethical because he made it illegal for people to bypass the waiting list. But the first lady, who was deeply corrupt, draws the line here and won't do it for the kidney, but the doctor suggests they could get kidneys from abroad, but not from Chinese ones, since the first lady, but not

because she's racist, but because they get them from executed Chinese prisoners, and she doesn't want the kidneys of a criminal in her husband's body. I loved all of this, because it's crazy, it's impenetrable, and it is also sarcastic, making it so impossible to understand because because they're I thank you for your commentary I wasn't done oh good okay good but as long as the organs aren't harvested from an innocent man it's okay but the president visited that which Chinese organ harvesting center personally and approved of the practice of taking it from executive prisoners. But it's all okay because there are a gang of rabbis

in New York who traffic in illegal organs. Now I'm done. You can do it. And I want the audience or the listeners to know that the last third of that had a lot of heavy weeks. Like the characters were, they can't deliver the sarcasm but you could tell they were trying because they were kind of like weak like they're almost saying the word weak

And also only about one third of that was sarcastic the rest. Yes, maybe sincere conspiracy theories And it's impossible to distinguish it stacked on top of each other For just a nesting a nesting doll a layer cake right of often conflicting conspiracy theories that ends with A gang of rappers. But also like that libertarian sort of view that the thing that's holding progress back is ethics. Like if you could just let people do whatever they wanted, we could fucking get kidneys into the president. I'm like, oh, this fucking having to do what's right, you can't just grab a guy off the

street and tear his kidneys out and put him in a different person. It's fucking let people be free. So this man, he has made a movie about an entire movie about his strange political. Actually, I'm gonna hold on. Let's go back to the clips. You piece of shit, stupid president. Get back to the clips You piece of shit Stupid president You got to remember

Pushing God You blew up those towers and killed thousands Including my father Now you lying your own pooping piss and stay there for days Yeah Rose the depends on her Your super depends How often do you change his diapers? Oh my god.

Every four hours. They're just like you orders. So every four hours they change poop. So he's only spending, let me do the math. Six hours a day. Not doing diaper stuff. Yeah, see, it's 18 hours a day. I'm just solid poop play.

Nonsat, what man could resist such a coma toast president when you can see all of his holes? Nobody. Oh, if he was young. The only thing saving him is the same. No, we really like, we pull out of that fucking nested conspiracy theory about like Chinese organs and rabbis and then you stupid piece of shit president. That's so funny.

Such fucking whiplash in this movie. So we rant some more about stem cell research now about, yes. Is it pot? Is it pro or anti? I can't tell. I, yeah, it feels both because it pro or anti? I can't tell. I. Yeah, it feels both because it feels both at the same time. It this feels like that Venn diagram between libertarianism and like right wing

Nazis where like the libertarians want you just do whatever the fuck you want, right? Like take a dead baby and fuck with it. It's DNA. We don't care. And then like the god part of the argument, which is very much against that, and it's trying to meet somewhere in the middle. The politics in this are contradictory, but they are from a madman, so I guess you'd expect that. Also, a lot of it's sarcastic again, because they get deep into the conversation

and start winking again, like, oh no, we could never take a Chinese baby and take its spinal cord, no, no, no, wink. I may have missed some of the winks. It's possible they may have just been having spasms. Oh, yeah. I don't think all of these actors, I think some of them were on day passes from different medical facilities.

Right. They might have been actually a coma victims. Yes. This is the weekend of Bernie's puppet show. They have a press conference and it turns out the president has rejected three sets of kidneys. There's no kidney going on in the man. And there's no secret about what happened.

The news is reporting that innocent boys were killed for their kidneys. That's the movie's words, not mine. Like they just ran them down in a field. The news instantly knows about it. And they say, they just say, here's how, here's how I've said a little political commentary is. One of the reporter stands up and says, can't you give the rejected kidneys to somebody else?

And the president's aid comes out and says, no! Ha-ha-ha-ha! Ha-ha-ha-ha! Ha-ha-ha! Ha-ha-ha-ha! Ha-ha-ha! Just a full understanding of how medicine and press conferences and politics work from the writer of this film.

I think I didn't do that, Justice. It was Congressman Dracula. No. No, blah. No. Can you feed them to your press call, blah? So the first lady's finally informed that he might, the president might never come out of this.

And she, she's very insistent very suddenly that he would not want to live like that. And he wants to die. That's our excuse to rant something about Kavorkin, Euthanasia. Yeah. We know the president ruled it out. Something, something stem cells, it's just

I'm completely lost. I'm completely lost as to what this guy believes or what I should be learning from this list. A bunch of weird side effects, if I remember. Without just recording the entire movie and playing every clip back here, there's just certain sections of this movie. It's impossible to explain because it has no idea. Like sometimes the words don't mesh together, but it's something about euthanasia and sim cells and maybe anti-covorkian but pro-euthanasia, I don't know. It ends with the doctor saying like this is the only time this wild overacting. It's the only time I recognize sarcasm in the movie. Okay. The doctor says, I can't participate in that.

I don't want you to go into his room and turn off his ventilator. I would hate it if you went in there and cut his breathing hoop. It's like a man being dragged into like a meat grinder. Yeah. He's delivering this. But she gets it. So she goes in there and grabs some safety scissors and just starts cutting through everything to...

She just got in the seat, through tubes. Like I think he was trying to give her, he didn't say the cut through. He was like, you can turn off this machine and he was giving her an out and she's like, got it, safety scissors through the breathing. Yeah.

I do have a clip of that of the nurse walking in. What are you trying to do? I want him dead. If he dead, I could lose my job. No, I'm the first lady to protect him. No. If you or me, would you want your husband who role the world with an iron fist

for this more powerful than God to live without dignity, without control of his balls or urine. There it is. Wearing a diaper and dripping from his mouth and living out of feeding tube. Please let him die. I beg you. I will do anything you ask. Just please let him die. You turned off the ventilator. He's already dead Oh Got it so weird

There's there's two there's I have to be a funeral in 10 minutes and then there's, I changed his diaper four hours ago and then there's this, if he died, he's already dead. He doesn't know their punchlines but they're such good punchlines. I have to be at a funeral in 10 way did him mean that it's a punchline. But he has some really good ones. One of the best lines in the movie. They do revive him somehow, and for no reason. The doctor knows he wants to die. The wife knows he wants to die.

So nobody authorizes him. He's now breathing on his own so nobody can kill him. Uh, the nurse, the nurse takes a call where she receives news that her replacement, who she let borrow her car, was followed shot and then her car hit a lap post. So, all of this was indecisive for me. This is like where I, where my brain kind of stopped.

It'll be different points in the movie for all of us. I can't wait to hear what you guys have to say about this. So the first lady was trying to have her killed, right? And whoever took her car was killed instead. And the nurse says, I think it was that first lady bitch. In fact, I know what it was for. And then nothing, the nurse is still around. Yes, she does not believe. The first lady still around. But they will interact. But nothing the nurse is still around. Yeah, she does not

the first lady still around, but they will interact. But the other nurse is like, hey, this is the perfect opportunity for you to fake your death and the doctor agrees. He's like, this is terrible. This is terrible. And he's like, yeah, you should fake your death. And then she just never leaves. She's just hanging out the rest of the movie. And then they interact. They see each other. Like, ah, well, it didn't take that first time. I tried to kill you. So I guess we'll just drop it. The nurse is pissed off though.

She runs in and forgets that she's not the other nurse who just delivered the year-old my father. Yes. They merge stories here. So now her father is also dead. And she is going to lecture the president about all the people he killed in 111 in Afghanistan and why he has to sit there in Pupi pants. I think

that's almost a direct quote. So let's go to the clips. Oh, thank you. Just think. You were once the most powerful man on earth. And now you poop your pants. That's the plot, the theme and the quote of the movie, I guess. That's all that's over there. I would argue the C-plot of pooping has now taken over the grade plot. Oh, great. Can anybody remember? Can anybody remember what the A-plot is? He did president poop his pants. The name of that's the name of the movie. Yes. What's the president shit's in heaven And now you pooped your pants. I hear I have a theory that I just came up with The second nurse I feel like this is test footage

This was an audition and they're like fuck this is so good. We got to put this one into even because I feel like they had these ladies come in and say Tell this unconscious man that he killed your dad in 9-11 and tell him you're not going to change his underpants. And then he, they just used them both. They did. Yeah. Or they forgot that they, that it was a different character. Or they just decided that the skinny white lady, nobody would notice that we've replaced her with black one. When you find gold, you put it in. You put it in. This is some full neobrain shit here now,

because then they have a little girl in a doily that starts reading Bible quotes. And it converts... That's because... That's because the nurse puts on a DVD of a five-year-old Amman who can speak five languages on the loop, and she says, I quote here, I'm sure you will appreciate his childish Muslim talk. Oh, that's okay. Okay. I guess I just missed that. So he could have

her stay as long, I guess is what I have in my notes next. Yes. He watches this video one time of what appears to be a little white American girl speaking English. Within the Netherrealm. Yeah. In the Netherrealm. I'm sorry, I forgot to mention this was playing on the ghost today in the next TV. Right. And this immediately converts the president to Islam, despite him hating it with all of his blood off to now. And he can enter heaven now, but we know that because there

is a medium slash angel, maybe. Yeah. It just appears in the room. Right. That could be bad filmmaking. She could be an angel. No just appears in the room. Right. That could be bad filmmaking. She could be an angel. No, she vanishes later, so she's definitely a ghost or something. I have no idea.

And she can hear him tell passion. She's the ghost of Christmas poop. That's a new name. That's a new name. J.V., I'm sorry. Ramadan. Oh, shit. I didn't see that.

Ramadan depends. The ghost of Ramadan depends. Oh my god. Oh, that would be offensive if anybody was still listening to his podcast or favorite. Better not be. So his name is, she tells the nurse, she can speak to the comaga and she's like, hey, nurse, his name is Abdullah now and he tells me you haven't been changing his diapers because there's just no fucking point of reference this writer has to anything other than pooping in your pants.

Yes. Well, this is with the sequel out of Ticket Over the A plot. It's about the president's poop. Uh, there's an extended bit where they test if the medium can truly see through the president's eyes with the number of fingers. I don't know why we do any of this. It's like somebody questioned him and he overcompensated. Yeah. But that can't be true. I can't imagine any of these people questioning anything.

This is a foreign movie. Can you imagine like having filmed any of these things and being like, like having filmed any of these things and being like, uh, excuse me, how does she see? So the ghost president, uh, who went to heaven somehow, he says he saw Jesus in a parade of all of his victims, uh, the 111s who were turned into a, quote, a find dust, which I don't think is what happened. Uh, but then, God.

And then a bloody creature pulled me into a hole. I did not want to go in there, it was very hot. It was like a baby's understanding of hell. We're in front of what he says, a bloody creature pulled me into a hole. I didn't know what's going there. It was very hot. So he promises to tell the truth about 111,

if he can only wake up because he's very sorry. And let's go to the clips again. Oh I see don't tell me that you're sorry for everything you did. She can't hear him. Right. I want to apologize to everybody. I want to apologize to 111. I was ignorant. You did many bad things. You know that you blew up those towers. You blew up my father. He was a firefighter. His bone fragment was found many years later

on top of another skyscraper. Ah! I did not know about it. I was told something was being horrible. Being a man, it was cunning coming I had no idea what to plan Our allies had planned this for 10 years Let me dig new about the details I did not plan it if

Me had planned it me would have done it differently. There you go. There it is. Oh, fuck. Every nurse in this fucking hospital had a father who died at 9-11. Who exploded onto a rooftop years. God, they've found like a chunk of him on a different skyscraper. Guys, that fucked me up when she said that he killed him.

That was up. If you would have told me just like that sentence, you will laugh your ass off. I, my, my firefighter father exploded and they found his bone for it. And you know what he sells it. There's some way of like the director as he's writing this, like that's a story that he found through like a Wikipedia article.

It's like, okay, that's hard. I have to put this in the movie. Got it. On a 4-chann board, I will, 8-chann board, I want to say, downgraded him 4 whole chants just then. He's, the president says he really doesn't want to die. The nurse says, maybe you didn't want to die just like those thousands of towers did not want to die.

I don't think that was the right thing. Yeah. Of course, we get what they meant. says, maybe you didn't want to die just like those thousands of towers did not want to die. I don't think that was the right thing. Yeah, of course, we get with a man. Those thousands of towers did not want to die that he killed. The angel slash medium explains to her that the sermon she put on this, the sermon in the ghost realm of the five-year-old Imam is what saved his soul. And she has some words. It's very grateful, Dei, for playing that sermon, sister. You saved his soul. I saved his soul. What the bleep.

What the bleep. I want him to burn in hell. I want him to burn in hell. I'll ask you the hearts of people, sister. He was only a victim himself. He simply went along with evil only because he wanted to keep his presidency. Only because he liked to be a president.

Yeah, he's forgiven. Come on. He's born again to be a man. Yeah, it's fine. You're making all this up, aren't you? I'm a sister. He said he's sorry for everything he did. He was sorry for keeping Gotham's head in a wooden box in his garage

You believe in bleep You believe in bleep Why are we why are we bleeping in text now? Five. Yeah. You both too stupid. You leap and leap. Why are we, why are we leaping in text now? What? She hasn't wanna curse at work. She's professional. She's gonna lose her job. That was, that was what?

That was, that was four day three seconds of clip. I don't know if anyone is suck this bad at her job. Like she comes, it takes her two hours to change the diaper. She almost lets her patient die. Then she like loses an argument to a ghost. She accidentally converts the president to Islam and saves his soul. Yeah, I really just feel like you can't be a worse nurse

to a president than this. What the bleep? What the bleep? You believe in bleep. And then she vanishes. She does the full on ghost vanish on her. Yes. And after she vanishes into thin air,

they do later discuss whether or not she was pulling some sort of scam. You'd be hoping that she's an angel. Was that an angel scam? Do you think the angel was running a grift on us? For angel juice, they're always after their angel juice. There's a thing I want to talk about. There's the doctor and the first lady

they go out to the parking lot. And they talk about, we haven't talked about the deep lot, which is there's a brainwave computer that kind of changes from scene to scene that can take his brainwaves and turn them into speech. Maybe, but they keep trying this in different ways. It keeps getting ejected into the script in different ways. And the first lady's like, yeah, fucking do it. Plug him into the thing.

And then the doctor takes a call from his wife. And the first lady stays right in his face. And he's like, okay, yeah, honey, yeah, okay, cool. I'll pick up like a totally regular conversation. Then after all this pointless call, they just cut the scene. And it's, it's done to me. I just have it at my notes that this was amazing. Like no ordinary person would have ever done this.

Well, that's to set up. That's so that you know the doctor has a wife. All right. Which is, which is important. Oh, shit. Because they pull him aside in like two or three scenes later, they pull him aside to inform him that his servant is being deported. And then his wife comes in and says, I know very round about way, she's leaving him

for the servant. And she's taking the children with him, all being deported to Mexico. Because the doctor, the chief physician, remember the chief physician, his penis is too small. Right. And that's why she's pushing him. So she's. But it's played his penis. It's so small she's going to Mexico. No reason for this. The doctor has done nothing to reserve this as a character. I guess now he did like plan the harvesting of those innocent kidneys. So maybe this is endorsed the

rape of the 15 year old coma patient. Yeah, well, he excused it at the very least. At the very least he made a lot of excuses for it. Okay. Okay, fair. Chief physician. I'm just saying, this guy gets his life fucking blown up. Like his dick is too small for love and his wife leaves him with the kids. I imagine it's not going to be good for his career. And yet it has no bearing on his performance for the rest of this plot. Yeah, that's over. And it would never be mentioned. Yeah. It doesn't change that character in any way. It doesn't have any effect on the plot. His dick was so small she hadn't leave the country. It's what I got out of that scene.

I mean, we go back to the... I don't want to brag about it. We go back to the... I've made at least 20 women do that. I have the opposite problem. There's just not enough room in the country. It's just a practicality. You should move to the Grand Canyon.

Yeah, I've never had a threesome just because nobody else fits in the room. Like it's one, one tops. Hey you guys talking about your dick size. It's crap. You can cut out this. Don't you dare. So when we go back to the president and he is dressed up in a ghost suit, so he has a ghost change of clothes,

where he is holding a ghost press conference with his real doctors and nurses to apologize for one leaven. He does repeat if me done it, me would have done it differently to just approve, like, no, I didn't. That was intentional. Yeah, yeah. That was intentional.

Or just such a great joke hit it twice that's what we that's where the scene goes that's the point of the scene they're going to send him to China for stem cell floating maybe something uh the writers and quite understand they covertly swap his body in for another coma patients which is I know there's a language barrier to some of this. I know there's a sanity barrier to a lot of this But remove all of that. This is still seven-year-old sleepover logic. Yeah, like This is still like a grown man should not think this way. We're gonna put a pillow under the blankets So people will think the president's still on the bed and fly to a less ethical country

to get clone juice into our president. So we can change his diaper. I'll make some cover story, which we learned through the amateur wrestler reporter. For some reason, just, I guess they told him, talk more with your hands and he's now doing like sign language. He's just attempting sign language. He's doing Chris Farley's El Nino character.

If you are calling it. So fucking semaphore at an airport. He's okay. So he's explaining the cover story which is that there's some sort of super infection in the president, and nobody can see him while he's in China. Now, remember, this is the cover story. He's actually in China. Right. They have this inception brain technology. It finally works to speak to the president. So the first lady wants to ask him one question, but they she can't, because the president has this super infection, which I guess she doesn't know isn't real They don't explain this to the first lady. Okay, so the doctor instead explains to her that the president will only respond I'm pretty sure this is what happens it gets it's madness the doctor explains he will only respond to Mosquito sounds now and has lost his speech center.

Yeah, that makes sense. That's close to what I had in my notes, yeah. Mostly I had question marks. The president will only respond to mosquito sounds now, he has lost his speech center. Fucking pure madness. So they cut to the first lady, inspecting knives, I guess in a comedy bit. Yeah, cause they're all the same knife. Yes. It's like a kitchen knife.

And finally decides, this knife is great. It's a kitchen knife, and she just walks back to the hospital and stabs this body multiple times in total silence. It's super fucked up. It's fucked up. This is, she misses the body by like four feet. Like they kind of pan up so you can't see the knife go in

and she's clearly stabbing several feet away from where the body was. But at this point, I feel like I'm laughing at a sick dog. Like at this point, like, see some switch got flipped in my brain where it's like, oh, I can't laugh at this. The people who made this are fucking idiots. Like, like, some switch got flipped in my brain where it's like, oh, I can't laugh at this. The people who made this are fucking idiots. Like, like medically. So you guys are here.

You're all critiquing the filmmaking. I'm so enrapped in the world. I envy you. And how stupid it is. I can only see how stupid it is in the world. Oh, that makes sense. So she calls the chief physician to tell him the president is dead and swears him to silence and ask him to fake his own death and lay low.

This is their only solution to anything. Everybody has to fake their own death all the time. They do have the president in China. So I guess the first lady never looked at his face the entire time. Cause they should have said no. But she doesn't notice. There's no like in movie reason why she can't see his face.

But she stabbed that I'm gonna assume a hobo. Could have been anybody. Many times. Now the logic here is that we have the actual president in China, the first lady thinks that we have the actual president in China. The first lady thinks she's killed the president, so we have no choice but to announce the death of the president. Yeah.

Or else, we'll have to admit to the first lady that we sent him to China. Part of the problem here is that they have to fake his death, and the hospital staff is going to have to keep the president alive with their own money, and they just can't afford that. They're like, yes, we don't, we don't make enough as, like nurses to fucking keep a president alive in a coma. And this is all made as part of a political agenda. What would you say is being advocated here? I would say any guess, socialization of diapers.

I would say any guess Socialization of diapers Nothing I have no guesses I have no guesses. I have no idea You made an entire movie to do nothing but deliver your insane Conspiracy political rants to the camera this character is just turn and look at the camera and deliver speeches over and over and over again. He had nothing but a clear platform for his beliefs, and I have no guesses to what they are. If he was trying to convert me or even just talk to me, I don't know how this guy would vote. If you were like just a simple, who would he like for president? I can't even say that he doesn't like George Bush now, because now George Bush was a victim and he's going to heaven. So

What? With that vermensoprene. There's that guy that wears the boot on his head that like runs for president every year that guy He's voting for that guy. Yeah, yeah, yeah, he might be that guy. This might be this might be a student No, because that's actual satire. This is like, you know anything about that, that's actual satire, but like this, this is, we keep saying the mind of a madman, but it literally is that, like there's no way

to like parse sanity from this. Now I will say we picked one movie out of, he has done five movies, so he has recorded more for the annals of history, I guess, than almost, like percentage-wise, than almost any other human being. So the odds that his viewpoints will survive time

are much greater than whoever is listening to this. God, can you imagine an archaeologist finding these tapes and nothing else? Somebody will. Somebody will find this. I find the no-context. A thousand years from now in the digital rubble, they'll unearth this and decide that we deserved whatever it was we got, which I imagine is pretty bad.

I do like how the First Lady finds out the President is not dead because she's traveling the world on a quest to find someone who can talk to the dead to tell her the secret code to the box. Yes. And she finds a guy and she's like, I have searched everywhere for you. You can speak to the dead, he's like, yeah, your husband's not dead. Can I pause you real quick? Oh, do you have a clip of this? No, no, I don't have a clip of this.

I just want to remind everybody that they established earlier, they can just break lock of the box right yeah, that's a good thing. It's traveling the world to avoid breaking the lock It's a really nice lock so she's traveling the world looking for somebody who can speak to the dead So that she doesn't have to jammy a lock right and the head he has because he said I want Gotham set on a silver platter and like his secret service agents were like Okay boss And they like literally went and got the human head and put it on a serving tray Yes, and he's like no you you fools. I guess I'll put it in a box real good luck He's keeping in fiction

George W. Bush is keeping the head of Saddam Hussein in a box in his garage with the secret code to 10% of the world's money. Yes. I can't even say it without that. And the first lady, like if a kid was playing this as a game and I overheard that, I'd be like, hold on, I have to explain some things to you. Yeah, you've got a lot of room. You've got to be too badly. Yeah. And so she's touring the world's wizards for someone who can open the box.

And finally finds a wizard that can speak to the dead and he's like, no, but you got a lot wrong, lady. So now she converts to Islam too. She converts to Islam almost accidentally. Yeah. I just can't do it. I don't think she fully realizes it. And they also killed this Muslim. Yeah. I don't think she fully realize this and they they also kill this Muslim. Right. Yes, because he's Muslim. You got to kill him. Yes, they also kill him because they don't know another way to end the scene. He has also prophesized that the president will die in a watery grave now. Sure. So there is that doesn't they don't pay that off that. Do they? Yeah, they do sort of. So the is, there is that. They don't pay that off though, do they?

Yeah, they do, sort of. So the first lady calls the hospital. They immediately admit the president is still alive. But then they say, well, keep that secret because you did murder that guy. Right. I guess might have woken up. The holy man tells her the president is going to give away all of his money if he ever wakes up and To that she says no, that is a lot of money. I want that money. So

So you got her motivation there. Yep. It's just good writing. They murder the Muslim as we all must do to end Using the news then announces very quickly. You might have missed this It's on the newscast in the background that a private jet was brought down by a missile and crashed in the ocean and the unnamed coma patient passenger was lost. I don't know why we don't know his name. I guess we haven't. So they went with the final episode of Mash on this one.

Yeah, I guess so. There was a blast just shooting, skill, skill ball. Okay, I did miss that. So I'm glad it paid off the watery grave thing. Okay, it was Alcata that shot the missile and they weren't aiming for the president. They were aiming for an unrelated plane. And the new president vows revenge for this one unnamed coma patient. He is going to now wage a complete war in Pakistan and Afghanistan. And then they say they end the newscast by saying,

and he is now killing people with drone strikes as low as he just started. Well, during the newscast. And that's it. It roughly cussed to his screen that just says, and they all lived happily ever after. I'm not fucking with you. That's the end of the move.

That's what it says. It just cuts right the fuck off. And he is now killing people with drone strikes and they all lived happily ever after. And nothing else strange happens at all. what it says. It just cuts right the fuck off. And he is now killing people with drone strikes and they all live happily ever after. And nothing else strange happens at all. And that's it. Nothing else happens except for the Bollywood dance.

So, bro. Okay, well, when it happened, when it said and they all live happily ever after, I got the impression that it was this like sly like wink to the camera, like you know what I'm talking about, like this is all bullshit. Yeah I genuinely have no idea if you asked me two hours before I saw this movie I would have been like I think I I understand sarcasm but after the end of this movie

I'm like nope. I have no idea. I don't know what any of these. Oh, this took a lot away from me Yeah, I don't I don't even know how this guy would vote, but I. I don't know what any of these. Oh, this took a lot away from me. I don't even know how this guy would vote, but I also, I don't know, individual particulates anymore. I don't know a lot about brand science. I don't know how I'm gonna vote. Look, as a person that's made low grade porn, I know what it is.

I know why it cut off that soon. It's because you no longer had access to your actors and you ran out of DV tapes and you just, oh, oh, this is the end. Is the end? Well, we must have filmed the Bollywood Dance number that I was not joking about. I worry that the audience at home thinks that, of course, this doesn't end with the Bollywood Dance number, like the end of RRR. But it does. The whole cast is here, the farting, shitting president, the angry, both angry, diaper,

father murdered 9-11, poop, nurses, murderous first lady, the cuckolded small cock, doctor, all the murdered priests, which are one guy. Everyone does this choreographed dance number to this really old blue-fye-ballywood song, and the nurse, the big black nurse, pretends to lip-synch it, which is kind of funny, but she also doesn't, she pretends in the sense that like, they're like, you would rub peanut butter

on the teeth of a horse. Yeah. Oh, God. Yeah, it's really mean-spirited that it keeps going. Like, she's like, ah, yeah, yeah, yeah, you're like, you don't even, I don't think she listened to it once. She is just moving her mouth. But this part gave me the biggest laughs I got

because I noticed the president was also credited as president's friend, dancer, lighting and set decoration, the two different credits for those, and also location facilitation. I thought that was really funny. And then the final line, and the credit said, this is a fictional story, different credits for those and also location facilitation. I thought that was really funny. And then the final line was that this is a fictional story, any resemblance to real people, places or events is purely coincidental and unintentional. What a cool one sentence.

Fucking hilarious. Which I noticed that too. I think that was just something he copied and pasted because that's what makes your movie feel like a real movie. I'm a real filmmaker. And now you poop your pants. Connect! Ja! Die Crafts-Nitratis-Nituner! Schick die in der Hundezung! Die arene stunden! Kupchon!

Du kitzst ihn mal! I'm not a hunder! I'm not a hunder! Frankfur! I'm not a hunder! I'm not a hunder! Frankfur! I'm not a hunder!

I'm not a hunder! Frankfur! I'm not a hunder! Ja! Neuthausen! For generations, the hot dog mountains have had more sight in some mysterious creatures than anywhere else in the United States. Now hardcore hunter and husky ninja shong baby, along with his partner, a chemically augmented trap this broccoli, or after the most dangerous, most mysterious creatures in the world. The Supremes Brief finger-liwy

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