The Dogg Zzone by 1900HOTDOG - Dogg Zzone 9000 - Episode 147, Unintentional Dark Comedies with Jason Pargin

Episode Date: November 1, 2023

Seanbaby's ceremonial comedy tomb is being prepared for the day he is cancelled, and he requests to be buried with Brockway and guest, Jason Pargin. They are discussing the darkest moments in serious movies... that they thought were unbelievably funny. They are monsters.

1,900 hot dog! 1,900 hot dog! A podcast slammed with maximum height! Say hot dog podcast worked! Yeah! We need to taste that nitrate power! You're in the dog zone for an hour! Come on!

You know the number! 1,900 hot dog! 1,900 hot dog! Welcome to the adoption of 9000, the podcast of 1900Hotdog.com, the best and final website. For text and picture jokes, we have new articles every weekday with an all-star cast of writers. We recently hired Michael Swame and Mike Drucker to very funny mics. Help us pay them in our Patreon, the only way we make money, patreon.com slash 1900Hotdog. I'm enduring internet treasure, Sean baby, and my co-host is Buns magazines, mayor of butt, runner up to third place,

Robert Brockway! I don't even care, I'm just too excited about finally getting that two-mic certification. We're finally too much certified. I'm Robert Brockway, here's a Brockway fact. My own con man's stepfather wants to try to run a dolphin grift on a Stargate SG1. No problem.

I actually know some of that. I don't have any follow-up questions. I know that story. Our gift is here on a whirlwind junket of every podcast to promote his latest book. He's New York Times, bestselling author, Jason Pargin. Welcome back. I have unironically appeared on or I'm about to appear on 22 episodes of various podcasts or interviews.

I have to stay to say that because I don't want you guys to feel like you're not special. But at the same time, if I have like a bag of lozenges here, I may desk because my body is so frail that this is a lot of work for me to do. Well, we appreciate your sacrifice. I think 22 podcasts about 22 too many. I thought you were going to say of the dog zone. I was like, yeah, it's about right. Yeah, sounds about right.

But when this drops, your book will be officially out I think. If I'm not mistaken. Yeah, it comes out in October 31st, so this will, it will be out on shelves, although even if you're listening to this like two weeks in advance, the bookstores just put it up whenever it comes in. They don't care. It's not like a movie. It's just they get the boxes and maybe 10 days before the release date, they'll just

slap them up there. Like that's, it went, what difference does it make? I once had a previous book. I'm pretty sure miss out on the bestseller list because a lot of bookstores Just put it out a week early so it didn't it didn't count toward the same week Because and then some stores will put it out like two weeks later because there's it's not like when Harry Potter book would come out and kids would Line up at midnight at the bookstore. It's like nah, we'll get to it. We'll get to it when we get to it. You're not famous enough for us to care that much.

We haven't said the title yet. Zoe is too drunk for this dystopia. Yes. And I hope you enjoy it. I do have to say, I was talking about this earlier, I have gotten more fan messages, like loving fan messages sincerely about the Big Feet podcast. They had about my last book that I'd spent two years writing

in the entire time it's been out, because it's been out for a year now. We're now, you know, the next book, really cycle. I've gotten so many people who have hunted me down, like on Instagram messages, was nobody messages me on Instagram. Like, hey, I just wanted to thank you for big feats. You have clearly made some kind of wish

to like have your legacy last forever, but you forgot to be very specific. And you got one of those dickhead genies. It's just like TikTok legends, Jason Pargin. Ha ha ha ha ha. Big feats legends, Jason Pargin. Bigfoot Hunter, ha. Big Feet's Legends Jason Nogen. Bigfoot Hunter, expert. Somewhere I like 50 years from now,

there will be a tombstone of mine. And the tombstone, they'll design to be like two big Sasquatch feet. Like my name is also, also, rip books on the side. But we'll love it big feets. Lost to time, of course. Considered lost media now.

Mostly known for his commentary on a lost show called Mountain Monsters, copies which also did not exist. Stunning commentary. Insightful. That's really changed to the face of philosophy with his show. Big Feats. Season two of that show. The unkillable Wild Bell will speak at all of our funerals. and we will be honored. Today we're talking about the dark and unintended comedy, hiding in other wife's serious movies. All three of us have brought an example that we want to talk about.

I brought two. You brought two. I brought two. I got three. I was gonna say it was gonna be a loose mess around it because I want Jason to have a nice time off from. You know. Oh, it still is.

They're not good. Oh excellent perfect. So who'd like to go first? I will. I'll go first with one and then I'll go again later. How about that? That's perfect. Mess around day. All right. Unintentional comedy tying into my Brock Weifakt. My first one is about Stargate is about the movie Stargate there's a character in that movie named

Nabe or also they they rename him Jordy because I guess that was too weird name he is what do you mean they're in it like in the movie they renamed him I think so I just looking it up. Like I haven't seen the actual... For like this Spielberg did. Like they digitally went back and changed his name. I'm pretty sure just my faulty half memory has like, they were like, I'm not saying a bay every time.

You're fucking, you're Jordy. Look at you, you look like Jordy. Okay. But that's, I don't know. I have four reasons that will soon become clear. I have not seen Stargate since the first time in 1994 when I was, and I saw it in the theater, I saw it in theater with my dad and my best friend, because we're all nerds, my dad included, very much included.

Did your dad buy a ticket or did he try to trade a dolphin painting? No, that's my stepfather. I have one normal father that raised me and then one of them did my stepfather. Either of them listened to this podcast. No, no, they don't. Why would they support me? When I have proven, when I've showed what I do for a living for so many years, they're waiting for it to get good. It's not going to happen. I know we were watching Stargate and to paint the picture, this is in Redmond, Oregon, which is a, it's kind of an upscale place now, but it used to be just a real, rural cattle town, real conservative, real square,

real straight laced kind of people. And so both of my stories are about movie theaters. people. And so both of my stories are about movie theaters. They were both take place in Red Mint. So that's even amongst the sci-fi scene. That's the crowd. That is with me when I tell this story. And they had as only 1994 could a very gentle and sensitive depiction of a mentally challenged person, Nabay, what was the character? I say that he's a simple Jack. He is definitely handled about as tastefully as as a drop-hicked under. The actor, I don't think, is disabled. I looked him up a little bit.

His name is Gian and Laughler. And his bio on IMDB says he was born and raised in Switzerland. His mother was a pianist and his father as a medical doctor. He began his career in theater in New York. He's a member of the actors conservatory and he studied at the Lee Strasberg Theatre Institute. I did look that up. That's a very reputable star producing like theater institute. So this man is a Thespian, a Thespian in every sense of the word. And he is playing the mentally disabled, mentally challenged man to bay in the movie Stargate

on this Egyptian planet. They're like an alternative. You do at least three semesters to train for that. You can promote uncontacted planet. He is used sort of to comedic effects, sort of like pulling on your heartstrings. It was 1994 mentally challenged individual rules. And the scene that got me was there's this big battle scene kind of towards the finale. And everybody else has left cover.

And they're getting like just drilled by the superior technological force that are the aliens. And only De Bay is left back at their old cover. And he has to get out of there. I have to get out of this like pyramid kind of area. But he's pinned down and everybody's screaming for him to run. And so he finally decides to run just right out in the open and they go into slow motion. And there's this swelling music. But then he's not running. He's doing like this really exaggerated speed walk. Like, like so precisely that it looks like he's trying not to get disqualified from speed walking, like he's writing, and then it shows like what they were taking cover for.

And it's like a fleet of Egyptian space jets. And they all fly in targeting just this one mentally challenged man and blow him just a shit, just explode the entire everything he's ever touched. He doesn't make it? He does not make it, everybody's screaming. And then at the end to put a button on the scene, they show his helmet pop off and go rolling down the ramp and I fucking lost it.

I left so hard. And my dad was mad at me. My best friend was started off mad at me and then started like, all right, that's pretty fucking funny. Yeah, he turned around. Yeah. I wish we could show this to normal people. Do normal people with healthy brains find this tragic like oh my gosh they've

got a fight for Jordy now because he's tragically because everything about how this is shot from the expression on his face to how ineffectually he's running to the way he just disappears in a cloud of dust just it's not even close he's he's just utterly obliterated it's such a mismatch he had no chance by a fleet of Egyptian space ships space jets it's just utterly obliterated. It's such a mismatch. He had no chance. By a fleet of Egyptian space ships, space jets, it's just for him, only him. He's not like in a crowd and oh no, he's the only one that got it. It's just him and they're targeting,

they're targeting just him. It's not like they're trying to stop him from hitting the self-destruct button. And like he's trying to sacrifice, he's just trying to get back to cover. Yeah, it's not like he,. And like he's trying to sacrifice, he's just trying to get back to cover. Yeah, it's not like he's like, it's like, I'm like, where he was.

It's like, the energy core, we have to stop this one guy from making it. They're like, no, no, he's just trying to run to safety. He's just one sad, the least effective soldier they have. And it's just like an act of bullying. Yeah. Yeah, the only stakes are emotional and they have somehow turned that

into a joke. So like they've shot themselves in the foot with their own emotional stakes by making it funny for them to die. It's, if you rephrase it just a little bit, you could have, you could have a guy in a wheelchair in the scene, right? You have a guy in a wheelchair, and he's rolling out of, let's say, the Lincoln Memorial. And then as he's rolling out and all of his friends are going, roll faster, roll faster, a squad of F-14 fighter jets flies in like five of them and they

fire just a full complement of missiles. On they all, each one, one after after another hit this man in a wheelchair, exploding him into dust. And at the end, his foodora pops off and drifts down to the ground. Like the construction of this each element is completely absurd. And it doesn't help that no it's on Egypt their space like it doesn't matter. There's a space pyramid like it's not as silly as what you're making It sound like with a link of memorial. No, no, no, it's a space pyramid and these are Egyptian starships There was a movie from the late 90s by the guy who did Highlander Russell Mulkehi

It's called resurrection of you seen this movie. No, okay. It's like a Christopher Lambert is in it He's it's like a knockoff of seven and there's some guy if I remember the details right He's, it's like a knockoff of seven. And there's some guy, if I remember the details right, he's trying to make like a Frankenstein. So he's killing people for their body parts and he's gonna make himself a Frankenstein. And then there's this scene. It's a very evil and spooky movie, but Christopher Lambert is like teaching his son

to write a bike and like he gets bumped by a guy on a roller blades and like his son like gets away from him on the bike. And it is like this 10 minutes of slow motion while this kid just keeps going in a straight line, straight into traffic. Everyone in the entire movie sees it coming except for this kid and they're like,

no, don't get in there. Like then we watch him like slowly get eaten by the front tire of a car. It's fucking outrageously funny, but that was not what they were going for. No, it's weird. And that's kind of the funniest thing to me is when you fuck up on your emotional moment so badly that it turns into just one of the funniest things you've ever seen unexploded

zany landmine that's gonna be most of this episode most of our examples but okay the Robert did anyone else in the theater laugh at that moment? No. See, this is my thing. I'm worried that we're not going to have the audience on our side for this, especially if they're from the... Oh, of course not. There's people listening.

There's people listening. Absolutely. They're like, no, I cried when that guy died, because... Maybe the thing is, if you've consumed as much comedy as we have, the only thing that makes you laugh is when someone is trying really, really hard to be sincere and just misses on the side of ridiculous. Because like that moment of the guy, and I've now watched this several times, the YouTube clip, of the guy getting exploded, this is the thing when friends, we would

gather to watch like have like a bad movie night Which I assume is something all of us have done is we would shout Predates because we would imagine if the movie just ended there The stargate theme song in the credits way like this that's like you know no moral the life is futile Bounces down the stairs. Just freeze frame on the house. There's cut to black. That was my guy. That was my first one.

I love him. I'm talking about, I actually did an article on this on the site. I love dragged across concrete. I think it's maybe the most unpleasant movie that is conceivable. Like not of all time, I just think like it's maxed out. It's so unpleasant. It's like weirdly racist and right wing. It's like aggressively uneventful at times. There's a scene and this is a real thing in the movie where Mel Gibson silently watches Vince Vaughn eat an egg salad sandwich in a car and that's the fucking As a commuter that's done like that's if I wanted to explain how shitty something is that's I might consider

You know dude this thing sucks like Mel Gibson watching Vince Vaughn eat an egg salad sandwich in a car, but Yeah, that's it. It is Miller, but he someone wrote it filmed it and Someone wrote it, filmed it, and they know it's unpleasant. Mel Gibson's like, this fucking sucks. I hate watching the eight sandwich and Vince Vaughn's like, hey, baby, baby, it's for fuck you. Like, nobody likes each other in this whole film. I think it's crazy that Jason's actually seen this movie more than once.

Well, I've seen it more than once. Okay, look, we need to, the context of this podcast has to rest on the fact that I could be a very famous author someday still. We don't know. We cannot create anything that will jeopardize that. I appreciate that many parts of the drag to cost concrete legally qualify as a hate crime in most states in this country. We did a podcast about it for, because I watched

it, and then I told Tom Rhyman and David Bowie, I was like, we've got to talk about this movie. This is like, I can't take my eyes off of it. It's literally Mel Gibson playing a racist who gets in trouble for racism. And then it kind of turns out that like he's explaining why his racism is right. And it's like Vince Vaughn is and it's just it's it's it's 18 hours of money. It's the longest movie ever made. So we did the podcast. I had to watch it a second time for the podcast because I take notes because I do prepare a startling amount for the podcast I turn up on. And then I wound up watching it a third time because it was just on somewhere. I was and I just like left it on. It's like I can't stop watching this. I am not in any way supporting

No Gibson or the finance years of this film or the the director who listening to him is somewhere between like an anti-woke edgy guy or a straight- up white nationalist. I don't know. I don't know him. I'm not accusing him either way, but he's somewhere in that spectrum. I'm not trying to make the art of him. And in these people's pockets, but man, it is, I have never forgotten this movie. Yeah. I like, I like that guy I'm blinking on his name. I knew it at one point in time at director because he makes movies that if you just read the synopsis, you're like, oh, it's your racist. Just immediately. Like, it's so on the nose that you would not think

anything else. But then he'll like, you watch the movie and you're like, oh, okay, this is like kind of a functional movie in parts. it takes a long time because like wait okay okay now it's racist so it's it lulls you like twice while yeah what is very comfortable in that promise that like in the synopsis i posit what if uh what if Native Americans what what if Indians were savage animals and we were right to kill them? I'm just saying what if that? What if that was a movie? Tomahawk is the film that he's referencing. If you guys don't realize you're trying to cross concrete and bone Tomahawk direct by same guy S Craig Zaw where I believe it's his name. That's it. So you hear that synopsis. You're like, yeah, I don't need to see that, but

then you watch it and like that first part where Kurt Russell is just being a cowboy and talk, you're like, this is a functional movie. I kind of like this. And it takes a little while. But by the end, you're like, yeah, okay. You were right. Yeah, you were right.

You're at this long racist. I really like the choice of Mel Gibson and Vince Vaughn as the leads because I said this in the article, but I do think they're both an equally funny choice for somebody's favorite movie actor if they're the worst person you've ever met. Yeah. Different direction.

They're complete opposites. Yeah, but they're both very reasonable, very funny choices. Okay, so. My thing with Vince Vaughn is just that every time like modern Vince Vaughn has mentioned, I assume like he's been canceled. In my mind is just like, we can't have another movie after what he did.

I don't think he actually did anything, but 100% of the time I just assume he did something terrible. That's why he's not around. I actually like legitimately love Mill Gibson movies. Like he, like the Leather Weapon movies, Apocalypse is so amazing. He gave me my love of Richard Stark, Donald Westlake's pen name, because of Payback, which I think is like the best adaptation of any of his books. But so like it's tough that he sucks. He's like one of those people and I'm like, man, I wish I wish he didn't suck. I wish he didn't suck because in the other room, my very nice dog is sleeping and

he is named after a Mel Gibson character. Man. God, that's rough. Are you FF? Not to get off into something serious. I have no idea to what degree Mill Gibson's issues are due to his being an alcoholic and clearly having a mental illness. Like he has problems beyond just being having bad views. There's stuff wrong with him that I don't know. I don't know. He shows up at a lot of Trump stuff these days. I don't know. Well his dad is like a full on like anti-Semite.

Like Alex Jones guest, maybe. Yeah, so you know, it's just, that's one reason why I hate to admit that I find this movie compelling and we haven't even gotten to Sean's hilarious moment yet. But the other context matters because it's only in the middle of this six hour long dragged across concrete that this scene, this bizarre scene, hits so hard. But the thing with, is that the casting in this movie is that he, this is like the most

perfect piece of casting, maybe ever, because it's a cop who's on the verge of retirement who is so thoroughly burned out and jaded and racist and the world has moved on and he's cleaning to his racism and he wants out and like it's all etched on the lines in his face like he he embodies like he just he just told him like no you know what I'm not even going to turn the camera on just walk around for a while we'll record some stuff it's so authentic because he's just playing himself, they just switched the professions around. Like, you know, I've been in this business forever,

I'm smarter than all you people, I know more than all you people, you're all, you're wrong, I'm right. And it's like, yeah, it's an Oscar-winning performance because I don't think there's much performing there. I wonder if at any point he realized it, performance because I don't think there's much performing there. I wonder if at any point he realized it, that that's just him. Because I, yeah, that's completely different. This guy's a cop. I'm not really a cop.

Well, the cop a lot. Oh, I shit. Wait, hold on. I play a cop a lot. I'm a lot like, oh, no. I think he wasn't even like thought of for the role or he might have been But I think Vince Vaughn showed in the script when they made I can't remember the name of the war movie they made together But like that's when he showed Mel Gibson the script. He's like oh this fucking great. I want to be in this So it's just a crazy coincidence and maybe they rewrote it for Mel Gibson They'll go kill you they'll now said yes, then we'll make the character much much much more racist and they're like, oh, okay, well, you've been, now said yes, then we'll make the character

much, much, much more racist. You're a punch-up pass on the racist. Do a punch-up pass on the racist. On the racist. On the racist. On the racist. On the racist. On the racist.

On the racist. On the racist. On the racist. On the racist. On the racist. On the racist. On the racist. On the racist.

On the racist. On the racist. On the racist. On the racist. On the racist. On the racist. On the gets shot in the head. Now it did, it sounds, hear me out. In a normal movie, you try to build some emotional stakes, like, oh, these guys are bad, they're gonna kill the hostages. And you kinda just got, like a few seconds to show the audience, it's bad to kill hostages,

this hostage doesn't deserve to die. And so instead of just doing that, instead of just giving a little moment of humanity to say like this character is good and it would be bad if she died they Cut away from the main movie for 11 full minutes. I'm not exaggerating It starts with her trying to get on a bus and she can't and you don't know why yet and she goes back to her apartment and She's not being led into her own apartment because her husband won't let her, because she just wants to see her baby.

And a husband's like, you can't fucking see the baby. You've taken two weeks of paid time off, four weeks of maternity, eight weeks of maternity, whatever it is. She hasn't been at work in months because she's addicted to her baby like a junkie. So she's like screaming at her husband,

let me in, I just want to touch the fucking baby. And he's like, you can't come in, you can't touch the baby. So this director, let me know, I just wanna touch the fucking baby. And he's like, you can't come in, you can't touch the baby. So, so this director, this writer-director, a tour, he's like, I need to show the audience that this woman has something to live for. So he stops his main movie and does like a full, like mini film about this woman's crippling love

of her baby. And we follow her on this journey for obviously quite a long time. She finally gets back on the bus and gets to work and she's just completely miserable. She can't be away from her baby. It's like eating at her physically and she's great actress and she is showing all this trauma in her face. They get to the bank. Everybody knows her deal. They're like, my dear sweet lady, you all, you're welcome back to the bank. We love your son.

And they built like a fucking actual shrine to her toddler or her infant newborn here in the bank. It's that weird that we are now in the Twilight Zone just to accommodate this director trying to communicate this woman loves a child. You know, Tire movie screeches to a halt for this, by the way, because you understand people have not seen drag Across Concrete, the 18 hour long film, that it is about these two racist cops, and then there's this high, this huge bank heist that's about to happen,

and then they wind up off duty having to like try to take down these bad guys who are even worse than them, and there's a lot of twist in terms. It's like an old like 70 style, the thriller, pop-boy or type thriller, been in the middle of it. Like this woman is not a player in this plot. What's the way? Like this is the absolutely introduced.

Yeah, she happens to work at the bank where this heist is about to go down, where they're gonna steal, it's just like $200 million worth of gold or something like that. And it's like it just stops and you just got this woman you've never met before. And it's holding with a baby and it's building to something but it's not clear what but it goes on for a very long time.

And the tone is too different from anything else in the movie. I haven't actually seen the movie and I don't want to. So I'm not going to. But I did find that scene. I watched this entire scene. I will argue that no, it doesn't make sense or is fine. And it's just the context that makes it jarring. This is completely insane.

I worry that the way Sean has phrased some things, people are like, oh, he's exaggerating immediately, like, oh, she's addicted to her baby. No, they sell that because she won't leave until he sticks the baby's foot through the door so that she can lick it. Just like, yeah, just give me a little text of that baby. Just enough to get me straight.

Just give me some baby foot. Oh, just give me a little hit of that foot and then she gets the foot. You're like, that's not how human beings work at all. Like I get that you're trying to show some sort of like mental breakdown after pregnancy, which does happen. But you're not, you're not sucking dick for baby foot. Like it's.

Right. It's such a good chair. It's not a one-to-one. You can't just replace crack. Like you wrote this whole scene with crack. And then you swap, you found replaced with baby And you're like God, this is this is so good It was Mel Gibson's notice is hey, what if the crack was a baby crack baby. No, just a normal

You're not listening. I need to I need to explain how much you love something. Well, you know who loves stuff? People that smoke crack they They love crack a lot. So maybe there's something you can work with there. Maybe, if you were, Will have figured out what's going on at this point, but this is just like a single-minded insane director trying to communicate something as hard as anyone's ever communicated anything. This woman loves her baby. It would be a tragedy

for her and a baby if she died. And it's all just so that she can get completely fucking executed, like just seconds into the heist. Like, just to raise the stakes, a tiny bit so she can get her face blown off. And even then she's like still baby crazy in the final moment. She gets her both her face blown off. And even then, she's still baby crazy in the final moment. She gets her both her hands blown off in a pretty excellent practical effect where Jennifer Carbender has these mannequin arms

and they like pop the hands off of them and they're like filled with squirting goo. Like, you know the Sarah Life sketches when someone's puking and they like hold their sleeve up to their mouth, like pukes comes out. Like her mannequin arms are rigged up with like tubes of blood squirting arteries. It's fantastic. And then she's down on the ground and she pulls out like her two or three fingers she has left.

Pulls out the little baby sock and tells the heister, hey, hey, can you make sure my baby gets this? His name is Jackson. And he barely lets her finish that word before just shooting her head into a mist. There's, I get why this is so compelling because it's all the, like again, we kind of skipped past, like, you mentioned how weird it is that everybody at the bank knows about this and is facilitating it. Yeah.

Well, what we didn't mention was that, it's basically James Lipton. Yes. The guy from inside the actor's studio. Yeah, he's absolutely doing that character. He's absolutely doing like an over-the-top James Lipton delivering a Shakespearean to Lil'queen about like this lady's baby.

He stands up and is like, Oh, well, Mattin, welcome to the bank. Back to the bank at last for my fine lady. I wrote down an actual quote and he says, all of us at the bank have great expectations for your boy. Wondrous expectations on a global spade. Like what the hell is going on? Yes, it's too weird.

It's too an air shit. It's like you're just breaking it so completely to do some random thing that is not related at all to a movie that you feel like you've just briefly gone mad. And then there is the actual baby shrine and then she holds up the like, he is completely disconnected from humanity and logic and all he was trying to communicate was some people

like babies, like just, it's so easy to do that. Yeah, it's just, when she gets shot in the head, it's an evil dead to type effect. They've used like a mannequin head and they blown it to pieces. Like she has no head, like her face just gets blown apart. And it's absolutely the scanners head explosion. Yeah, and again, it's a comic one. The same with the young disabled man and Brockway's

Terrible awful example That died of the hand of those fighter jets. It's the same thing where this not like she decides in a key emotional moment Like I'm going to sacrifice myself to save these other people or I'm gonna die hitting the button to hit the alarm Like like it's like oh you realize what to say. It's like no She's like just standing there trying to surrender. And like a coworker's gonna like send an email to the police and she's like, no, don't do that.

And because she makes that sound, they blow her hands and then head off. It's just totally meaningless. And I guess from the director's point of view, it's like see how meaningless the violence is, but it's all framed in such a way that it's so goofy. And again, I've not been thinking about this tone.

Yeah. I think you might be giving them too much artistic critic. I think all he wanted to do was say, look at how evil these guys are. And he was just like, what would be more evil than killing an innocent person? Okay, what if it is in person was like, not just innocent, but like, what would be more evil than killing an innocent person? Okay, what if an innocent person was like, not just innocent, but like, baby crazy innocent?

And I don't know. What if she was addicted to baby? What if she's doing? Oh, baby. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, Sometimes a head explosion is just a great punch line. It's not often, but it is here. Like, it's a good, the way it's executed, the time that happens, all of the insanity that comes before it, you're like, yeah, this has to end with somebody's head exploding.

That made sense. So I looked at, I was doing some research just when I was working on the article, just to kind of get, seeing if I could get the vibe of the movie from the internet, because I figured the internet would hate it, just because it's racist and unpleasant and too long. And I found a YouTube video that was

basically the opposite of my take. It was like, oh my God, guys, I was so wrecked by this scene. Oh, this emotionally powerful scene. And I was just like, this is, oh, I don't know. It felt like someone so clearly going for a motion of manipulation that it just had no chance of working from the beginning. I don't know.

But it worked on this guy. It worked on this. By the way, some people, we keep talking about how long this movie is. Somebody right now has just Googled it and found that the movie is only two hours and 40 minutes along. It's shorter than the new mission impossible movie.

And somebody out there is saying, well, now is ridiculous ridiculous because Jason constantly raves about RRR Which is fully 30 minutes longer than dragged across concrete. I'm telling you RRR feels about 45 minutes long To me like I would love to meet someone making the argument that like RRR and I'd love to meet someone making the argument that like RRR and dragged across concrete could be compared in any way to one-to-one or that the time works the same in these two films. I mean, me about this runtime. Dick's doing a stakeout versus just the most spectacular dancing kung fu animal launching spectacle ever from South Asia.

It's basically over before you've finished settling into your seat, whereas Dracross concrete, like I get from the title, it's supposed to imply that it's like in or deal. I think the pacing choices were made on purpose, that it feels long. Like you feel every minute. It is punishing. There are two other moments I do what are point out. One something that not even Sean knew which is that the film Dracockross Concrete has a soundtrack of like 70s R&D and then when you watch

the credits if you watch closely you will realize that all of those songs have been written by the same guy, the director of the film. Because every song in the soundtrack was written by him and performed by either people he hired or he sang on some of them I think. I think maybe the R&B community might not fully welcome him in his music. Maybe there's some sort of tragic past there and that's why he's making these movies. The other thing is that it has one of my favorite tropes in all of fiction, which is where

the, so again, please do not misinterpret my laughter here. The primary motivation of the protagonist of the film, Mel Gibson's character, is that he is trying to raise money through his corrupt policing to send back to his wife so they can move away from the blacks. And because his daughter is getting reversed, hate crime all the time. And she's getting, that's real, it's in the, because we all know how that's how that works.

The young black kids love to pick on the children of white police officers. Like that's a good. That's a great thing to do that won't get your own life totally destroyed. And that's it. He claims that she's been assaulted like like 10 times or whatever, like constantly she's been bullied because like, oh, you're the white daughter of this, this white police officer. Surely there'll be no repercussions for us

picking on you. Anyway, so the triumphant moment of the movie is that one of the guys doing the heist gets away with the money, but agrees to send some money back to Mel Gibson's wife, because Mel Gibson's spoiler, he winds up dying at the end. Bit agrees to because he helped to send some of the money to his ex-wife so she can move away from the black people.

And that's still like your happy ending, the final scene is she gets a bot. And the final scene is she gets a box in the mail or by a courier and opens and it's full of gold bars. And she starts crying because like, oh, thank God. Yes, after all of this, I thought it was so hopeless. He, you know, my husband has gone, you know, and but yes, now we can move away from the minorities.

We've done it. This is like the end of the hero's journey is you get to move away from the people aren't your same color but that thing this happens in so many movies and if somebody gave me a box of 30 million dollars of gold bars maybe what am i gonna do with this what i think somebody got it nervous what do you do with imagine me going to i bank with the box of gold bars this look at me is like yeah wait here We need to go back and call someone

Because right you did not come by these by any there's there's no job that pays in gold bars like You wait a minute. This is our bank printed on here at least and the other guy had like this like opulent mansion with like a And the other guy had like this like opulent mansion with like a live in masseuse. So he took the gold and he like just turned into cash and spent it in the loudest possible way. I guess the IRS doesn't pay attention to that. Like plus he was an ex-com, like he just got out of prison. And now here he is with unlimited wealth

after a giant, probably the biggest gold heist in the history of the world happened like, I don't know, in his neighborhood, I don't know, I feel like maybe the person who wrote this movie could be an idiot. There is a film that routinely makes lists of the scariest movies ever made. To 2011 film called We Need to Talk About Kevin. Somebody put this on a scariest movie a while time. You go any Reddit thread about the scariest, creepy movie you've ever seen. Somebody will mention We Need to Talk About Kevin.

Stars, Tilda Swinton. Wow. And it is about what if you had a child who was a dick? Problem child. I've seen this. It's a reboot of Problem child. I think they were going for sociopath, but you're right. They landed on dick. Understanding the context of this podcast, I do not want anyone clipping this out of context and saying that Jason thinks it's funny when a school shooting happens because it's not If a school your busted can somebody make a clip that and then make like a techno remix of just just that

So that sentence if a school shooting happens on the day this episode goes up We didn't know about it. We recorded it in advance. On the day that we're recording this, there was not a school shooting, and we could not have known there was going to be one other than the fact that there is one every few days. But otherwise, this is totally unintentional. So I, as I mentioned earlier, nothing makes me laugh harder than a failed attempt at high, high drama. To the point that, probably the most diseased brain thing I do,

I hate to even say this. On social media, sometimes when people talk about raising money for their food pantry, these food pantry is really gather money for the homeless. And it's a place where you can come get canned goods if you're starving. They will mistype it as food panty. So if you go on Twitter and search for the term food panty,

P-A-N-T-Y, you would get many, many posts over the last decade. A people earnestly in tear saying, we want to thank you for the community coming out. We raised $5,000 for the West Arlington food panty. We're going to eat it all. We're going to eat it all tonight, baby. We're going to wear it all. We're going to eat it all tonight, baby. We're going to wait around, get a real soon date. I have. Every time.

And it is so stupid, it is so such an objectively wrong thing to find funny, that this is a real, serious issue. And they just made a typo in the course of trying to be sincere and to thank the community for supporting the poor in their neighborhood. And they accidentally said, food panty. And then the mental image it creates in my mind that these people paid $5,000 for a food panty. Now when you picture the food panty, what foods are you picturing? I'm picturing fruit, I don't know why, but are you picturing sandwich meats?

Cornucopia, like cornucopia laid out in the shape of a big panty like corn and stuff like a big Okay, some pumpkin some gourds some decorative gourds if some of the funniest movies that I see are what I call misery porn Where it's a type of movie where they are trying to emphasize how miserable the characters life is But it is not supposed to be funny or ironic or can't be at all It is just over the top. This little girl is an orphan and then she was abused by this person and then this person and then this happened and then she was set on fire and this and because I know there's an

audience for that for some reason there's people that will have to watch that stuff. But if you do misreport like 1% off you get something that is the funniest thing I've ever seen. And I don't know why. I could talk to a therapist about it. But at my point in my life, I've seen and written so much comedy, that the things that hit me, that make me laugh, have to be unexpected. It has to be something I didn't go into. No one is going to be funny. So we need to talk about Kevin is misery porn. It's about a woman who gets birth to a son who is evil from birth. Like you literally like he cries all the time only with just when he's with her but not when he's with her dad. And if you find it later, it's purely because he's trying to torture her. He like refuses to

potty train just despite her. He's trying to make her life hell. But it's not like a demon possession thing. It's supposed to be like this incredibly serious look at what it's like to raise a sociopath. In the entire movie, there's a mystery that is building to because it cuts from present day when she is alone and depressed and her life has gone terribly wrong to flashing back to her raising this terrible child. And it's telling you that something horrible happened. And we don't know what it is. He's in Ezra Miller is in prison. Yeah.

Yeah. The son, the son is played at various ages, but the son at the point that he reaches maximum evils played by Ezra Miller, who does a good job of conveying that in this movie. Did they're credit? Now, so the entire film was leading up to the climax of the film where you learn the mystery, you learn the terrible thing that the kid did. So you had the two timelines, which is present day after math, and then leading up to from birth up to the terrible thing. And you find out in the climax that the kid did a school shooting and the way they shoot it implies that he killed everyone at his school.

He like barred all the door shut. And then when it's over, he walks out alone. And he did it with a bow and arrow. Now, the scene where he's shooting with the bone arrow, he's like orgasmically pumping arrows, but he's all by himself. Like, it's just a shot of him and he's just pulling him out of this quiver, just shooting an arrow, shooting an arrow. And I guess they're playing screams, but we don't see anyone get hit by an arrow.

And I don't know if this was artistic or budgetary, but it was a fucking stupid choice. Because, um, okay, this movie feels really like clumsy, artistic, like, I feel like a freshman film project to me. Because there's like a lot of like heavy-handed but really meaningless motifs and like, just sort of, I don't know, a bunch of stupid shit that sort of feels like a dumb person's idea of symbolism or importance. But here's the scene where he's shooting arrows,

and we don't actually see the consequences of these arrows. So to me, I'm being told by the art that this isn't really happening. This is he's imagining this. But then they start showing the dead body's getting pulled out. And I'm like, wait that this isn't really happening. This is he's imagining this. But then they start showing the dead body's getting pulled out and I'm like, wait, so it's really happening. And then there's just like the Rambo side of me

that's just like, okay, somebody's shooting you with a bow and arrow. That's a really solvable problem. Like if you got three people, like they'll get one of you. And he kills an entire school with field-tipped bow and arrow. We should specify, it's not a hunting, but it's not a compound bow.

It's a bow that I'm pretty sure I have from a beginner archery class. It's just from his school archery class, I am assuming. If you had a football helmet and we're holding a medicine ball over your vital organs, you are not gonna get killed by this bow. So it's a very good chance. Even if he's an expert shot with a bow

that like shitty at a range, they won't even stick in you. I was like, I did begin a archery and like at enough range, at a good enough range, which I would argue is possible in this environment. Like if you're in a gym or something,

right, it would hurt. It would make a little dent in you and it would bounce off. And I'm just imagining that moment of when he's like, I'm gonna start my school massacre and I think, thwang, and somebody just goes, ow, look, this is a really important point because people who know their Bosnianos, the kids hobby, like why he has that bow and arrow

His hobby is not Hunting he's not a deer hunter like where I where I went to school like kids took a day off the first day of dear season Like that was an excused absence of like they and those like that's a compound bow with arrows that are razor tipped and that will Go right all the way through a deer He his hobby is hobby is archery. He has a target in his backyard like a straw target with the bulls-eye in front of him. Yeah, that's what I had.

And so his dad for Christmas, and it's like dark foreshadowing. His dad for Christmas gets him a good target shooting bow and his arrows and the ones he brings to school are target arrows. Like they're not their pointy, they don't have a razor tip on them. They're just they're made to puncture a straw target. So my issue with this, even in 2011, when this came out, if any of us, and again,

send your hate mail to the 1900 hot dog inbox, not to me. I can't be held responsible. That Gmail not come. I can't be held responsible for what I say and someone else has shown. That's the rule. If I was working in an office or if I was a school student and they shouted like in this environment we have somebody said, oh my god, there's a mass shooting. It's Kevin. He's shooting up the school and everyone starts running and stampeding the screaming like we're doing the mass shooter drills. They're walking the doors and turn off the lights. And then if he stepped into my room holding that target, that

that's for ages 11 to 14. I mean, so hard that even if he shot me with it and it like punctured my thigh by like an inch, I think I would be laughing so hard that I couldn't even tackle him because it's like this is objectively the funniest thing. Like I'm gonna be telling this as a funny story for the rest of my life

because you could survive being shot by like nine of those arrows. He would have to get easily. He's real lucky. And the fact that a gym teacher that someone, a member of the football team, because you know, the whole thing is he's kind of a skinny nerd, that after the very first failed shot, they didn't just tackle him and just beat him to a pulp. I'm not saying that the characters in

this movie deserve what they got. I'm just saying that. I'm saying I needed, I needed lip service paid to it. Like how did this happen? Show me is I don't even care if it's like he's the best shot we've ever seen. He every every shot hits him right in the neck or something, but they had to show me the effect of this arrow and how everyone else decided not to go take it from him. Well, there's something else in the way they shoot this scene. So the way they shoot the scene, as Sean said, they cut to him alone.

And what appears to be just one room, like just... Yeah. And then they do a bunch of flash cuts of like, he shoots an arrow, he shoots an arrow, he shoots an arrow. And then they're playing screams, but it's all like kind of the same frame, these in the same spot in the frame,

he's apparently in the same room over and over again. And like they're trying to make it look like over and over and over again. He must have killed like 30 people in one room with this bow, but they're also, they're playing the actual sound that that shitty little bow makes. And what it does is go, fling, fling, fling, fling, fling, fling, fling, and then it gets faster and faster. So these are just going,

playing, playing, playing, playing. And then it ends with that scene ends with him, like in front of an empty gym, like bowing to it and like posing triumphantly. And so I guess that was a flashback to before he started the killing spree. Or, okay, because it's just, it's so super. It's a pride because what they're doing is right before he does the shooting they're playing the background of a pepper alley. I like the cheerleaders doing the fight, fight, whatever song. And so he has blocked off the gym like all the access to the gym. So you see him setting up an advance in the gymnasium and it is implied heavily that the

entire school gathered for a pepperp rally and that he shot them all with arrows because when the police show up there, there's like this horror reveal because his mother, you know, here's, oh my gosh, there's a mass shooting at the high school. And so she runs there thinking her son, Kevin, is one of the victims even though he's been, you know, nightmare his whole life. But he's 16, you know, and so she shows up there. And the horror reveal is they saw open that he had put the like these bike locks on the door and they open the door and he just walks out like strides out confidently like his hands up like, you know, this is where he's like, yeah, you know, we all know what I've

done in there. And then they start hauling out the bodies of his many, many, many dead classmates and they're coming out of the stretchers and there's this horror shot of a corpse, a teenage girls corpse with a bunch of arrows sticking out of it. I feel like you look ridiculous with an arrow sticking out of you. I think even in real life, I think you look silly with an arrow poking out of you. Am I wrong to say that? I don't think I get to do that. Because of the best in element because of feathers. It's because it looks like you got killed at carnival. Yeah, it looks like you like took a slight beating in a heck or the horrible comic. Yes. Thank you. So then the mother rushes back home to tell her husband and then her, she has a young daughter like, oh my gosh, Kevin, you know,

what crazy? And also turned out to be the world's greatest archer. Like even Arthurian legend did not feature an archer who could kill as effectively as our son without even with an abodus not designed to kill. Like who knew? He's a parrally freaking Hawkeye from the Avengers. We should never have bought him 300 arrows. That was a mistake. Uh, because you do picture him. Yeah, he has like a queer, queer run his back, which had never bought him 300 arrows. That was a mistake. Because you do picture him. Yeah, he has like a queer, queer run his back, which again also looks ridiculous.

If someone tried to attack you with one of that on his back, again, I realize that would be terrifying in the Middle Ages. In today's day and age, I feel like if somebody tried to rob your place of business, or even like Sean, like, you know, you have children, if a man tried to do a home invasion, and he had a huge bow and that acquired of her hair was on his back,

I feel like what you felt would be, there would be fear, but also like, oh, this is, this could be the best ask. It would be very fun. It would be very fun. Yeah, I would, I would,

the church here me up so much. Like if I was in the garage, you moved and the guy came into my home with a bow and arrow and I'm like, oh my God, this is exactly what I needed. So her, the husband of this, like if I was in the garage you moved and a guyic actor. So she to her horror finds it before his her kid and parked on the rampage he killed his father and his sister and so the little girls lying out on the lawn with arrows in her and then the dad is lying out there with like two arrows in his back. And it is such it's John C. Riley lying on a lawn with a bunch of arrows sticking out of him. If Tim and Eric did like a deadpan, like they had that horror series they did

for a while, like if they did a straightforward deadpan comedy of that scene, it would be shot like every frame would be identical to what they did here. Yeah, it's how you would end a steep rule. It's underweight about. Yeah, I'm steep rule. I'm going to go out. I'm going to learn how to do a tree. Like that's what you would cut to and then be pretty funny.

I like there's something about about John C. Riley. I'm totally with you. I'm just trained to laugh at that guy. Like I do think he's a good actor, but I'm always like in any serious scene. I'm waiting for the punchline. I'm like, okay, what's he gonna do next? All right, but there's something very, he does list like Beast like character two where he goes into his sort of brisker rage that is, I associate with him so closely. So when you context free, show me a picture of him collapse

along with arrows in him. It looks like he was charging some hunters like the ranting John C. Riley and they took him down nobly mid charge. It's just no part of this drugs as anything but the punchline. You just make, you make a whole sketch based on that punchline. You back date a whole sketch in your mind like hunting the noble John C. Riley. And it just looks like such an easily survivable wound. Because I know you have your lungs and stuff back there. He gets shot in like the upper back and I get that in

and old Cowboys and Indians movie. That would be enough to take a guy down. But I think in real life, man, I think you'd still be able to get away or turn around and kick his ass before he reloads. It's a bunch of right in the head. I had a quiver like that when I was a kid. And like if you do like a little hop, like if you try to do some cool stuff,

like I'm gonna shoot two arrows real quick and then do like a summer assault, all your arrows fall out. Yeah. Yeah. And not to belabor this one film, but after you see that climax, then you start to see the previous movie

and such a weird light because all of the present day stuff, throughout what you find out when you meet the woman, again, she's very depressed and sad. And of course, now, you know, oh, it's in the aftermath of her son, you know, doing a school shooting. But the movie opens, before we go to the flashback of the terrible child, it's this heavy handed thing where it's like she's lying on her sofa with bottles of depressants and of antidepressants in the foreground on her coffee table and like plates of old food on the coffee table. And she gets up and she stumbles and knocks over her bottle of pills and it spills antidepressant pills all over the floor. And then she stumbles out under the porch

and the townspeople had vandalized her home. They've thrown red paint all over her car in her house because of like her son did the murder. And then there's like a child standing there, scouring at her. And then she goes to work and there's an old man scouring at her. And then she goes to apply for a job and like her coworkers are scouring at at her and then she goes to get

Groceries and one of the other shoppers when she turns her back comes and breaks all the eggs in her cart And it's like She lost her own husband and daughter in this attack Yeah, but like are they claiming because part of the plot is that they the other parents sued her for like parental neglect for allowing her child to shoot up a school with a bow and arrow. And she lost, like she, she lost her house and she's bankrupt and everything's miserable. And the whole, everyone in the town blames her for her kid going on this rampage. I don't, is that a thing? Do people like harass the shooters? If the shooter killed other members of their family to prance harass the survivors like well You should have rained him in better. You should have known he was a super you as the greatest archer in history

Yeah, I guess could have used his powers for good when you put it like that Maybe the movie's not crazy because he is the greatest archer in all the history and when you put it like that, maybe the movie's not crazy because he is the greatest archer in all the history and she should have taken more responsibility. This is like the dark Hawkeye origin story, Rakewell, we're moving into the gritty face of the Disney Rebus. One point where like her all-time low pro, she has to take this very sad crappy office job. There's this creeper guy there who's like kidding on her. Again, she's played by a total swim and he's and she's like kind of like none and no, you know, she's so depressed

in her life as such a mess. You're like, no, I'm not really interested. And he says he like leans in his scams that are like, you know, you should take what you can get because you should know no man is going to want you now. And it's like I've met other middle aged men, even if Tilda Switten had done the killings herself they would have sex whether they that would not deter a single any middle age single man they would just be so thrilled that she like doesn't have kids just makes it hotter yeah it's like you know my son went on a rampage and he killed 300 children with a bow and air will be like, oh really? That's, that's, dude.

So no kids, huh? That's the hottest thing I've ever heard. All right. Also, you look like a movie star. Let's, yeah, let's, I didn't know you had such a tell the sweat and thing. Like the, that's kind of interesting. Like the next day when his friends were asking him, like who he'ded it be like yeah she it's so there was like there's a mass shooting or something like that fact would not even stick in his mind at

the bar he would just still it's not because the swindlest the hottest woman in the world just cuz like yet i've met other middle-aged single men they're not they're not picky i'm sorry it's the idea that they would shun her for it's like no i don't want to be tainted by, like, yeah, that's not how it works. Right. Yeah, I don't think he was right.

I think that there was a truth to that scene though that this guy felt really entitled to having sex with Tilted Swinton because he perceived her as like damaged goods. But yeah, that, I think that was the very first time in that entire movie where I was like, oh, I'm actually miserable, this is miserable. Because before then, all of the misery,

all the misery did play as comedy to me. Like it wasn't just the bow and arrow scene that was funny to me. Like everything they were trying to do kind of felt like, just like a dark comedy. It felt like gummo or kids, if you've seen those movies, like there's sort of a trend in the 90s to make like really gritty, disgusting, miserable comedies.

And that's what this felt like. I thought it was a comedy the first time I watched it until I looked it up and realized it won. Not a single person has ever referred to it, even as being unintentionally funny, the director is really good. She did that. You were never really here. The really dark Joaquin Phoenix movie that I, a lot of people hate, but I thought was really good in disturbing and well shot and all of that is really dark and bloody. I don't think that would see, but the whole, everything to convey

that the child is evil is just, there's a one point where out of spite, he like intentionally poops his pants like in front of her. And at one point at HH, she asks him if he wants a grilled cheese sandwich for lunch and he scalsers and says, I don't give a rat's ass. What a cool kid. They have the toddler at age like six, what are we supposed to be four, five, six. They directed the toddler actor like doing evil scale into the camera, like you're the

most evil toddler in the world. And they do it where when he's with the dad, he's very loving and kind. And then he'll turn toward the mother, till this one and give his evil scowl. And to the audience, it's supposed to be like chilling, but when a toddler tries to do an evil scowl, like it's, it comes off as a fear, or just, there's very powder or whatever. I agree. Who amongst us has not been scowled at by a toddler? But it's all just so overwrought and it's just so over the top and

I don't know they were trying to say something about well, what would you do in this situation if you had to raise a psychopath? It's like real psychopaths. It's not they're not like that. They're not they're not evil as infants. I don't think so. But it's just, they're not usually the greatest archer of all time. Yeah. Everything he does, just so goofy and mean and petty. At one point, when he's a teenager to try to like bridge the gap with him, she's like, you know what? Let's go out and to, we'll go out to a nice restaurant like tomorrow night, like you

and I will go out. We never spent time together. We'll go out. And so, right, she gets all dressed up to leave and she's like, all right, let's go out to dinner. And then he's in the kitchen, eating an entire rotisserie chicken, like an animal, like with his bare hands.

And, okay, then what vengeance I've got you this time, mother. So she won't, in a way, the dinner she took him out to, but it's like the way he did it, is he just shoved his face into rotisserie chicken and it's just and that's not supposed to be funny it's supposed to be like look at how dark his mind is that he would do this right before his fancy dinner that he would spoil his appetite so anyway that's that's the school shooting that I found extremely funny. All right, put that in the tab. Yeah, remix. Thank you.

Let's mark that. That's how the tech, that's the hook right there. All right, I'm also, the other one I brought is just the most famous example of this for somebody, maybe if there's any chance of the audience relating to us, which other's not and there should not be, it will be on this the movie Titanic. When I saw Titanic for the first time in 1997, it was at that same theater in Redmond Oregon, very conservative, very small, cattle town, full of just almost entirely middle-aged people taking this very seriously.

And I saw it on a date on a first date We went and saw this movie and it was fine. We were watching the movie I was kind of sleeping during it I wasn't really paying attention and then the the crash scene started which was cool Like they say had effects and stuff for for the guys They were like, oh I'll perk up here and then and then the propeller guy happens and a And then the propeller guy happens. And a lot of people know immediately what I'm talking about. Maybe you laughed at it, maybe you probably noted it.

Because as everybody else is just falling off this boat, screaming and drowning, one guy climbs over the railing to the back of the boat, which is up in the air now. The boat splits in half, and then they're on the rear half, and it starts to sink and goes almost completely vertical. So they're on the back of the boat and thinking about jumping. And another character jumps over the rail, and he sees the guy next to him jump. And he falls a little bit down and then he hits the propeller and he begins to spin and my date begins to go very badly.

So he he emits this very gentle bonk when he hits the propeller and I started laughing and then he spins faster and faster and faster and he falls what seems like an impossible distance. He falls for like five seconds. And then the guy that was watching this climbs back over the railing and takes a drink and that's classic, that's some classic comedy shorthand for like what? I'm going to need a drink to deal with this and I laughed until I fucking cried and I was the only one in that theater.

We did not have a second date. Oh, did she say that? Did she say, I can't go out on the night? No. No, she did not cite that, but I that cannot have helped me. Because she was just looking at me like, yeah, what the fuck?

Like we need to talk about Kevin. This is a maniac. This is a maniac right here. And there's, and to have kept that scene off, like I couldn't stop laughing because of that, but just when I was about to stop laughing, there's a bit like as the final moment when the boat goes down,

you see that stern sink vertically all the way down, and they flash just for a second, and you see that guy that didn't want to jump. He's standing on the back of the boat and he's got like a crouched down surfer stance and he surfs the Titanic all the way down the floor like he doesn't jump. He doesn't swim. He just surfs it like he's trying to beat the level like he fucking log rolled the Titanic. Yeah, I got all the way. Throw that wave all the way to the beach. I did, did you guys surely laughed at propelling me? I think I, in the theater, I'm beloved in my community

because I'm the guy who, where every movie is my mischievous science theater, 3,000. Like I'll stand up and shout something, you know, like you. Oh, that had that hurt. That's like, in that case, I stood up and, you know, shouted, oh, that's what I call prop comedy. And everyone loves it.

Carried out of there on the shoulders. Everyone stands up and applaud. It's my witty one, because I'm the one that they really came to see. It's I'm famous. So I have done an unusual amount of research on this. I figured out the behind the scenes of the propeller guy. There a lot of thought was put into this and it makes it funnier to me that a lot of thought was put into this and that every they eventually they wrote a motion cap a lot of the actors and stuff and then put them in and you know kind of crude early CGI falling to their desk because they didn't have to have a lot of

details very chaotic seem and they're very small. But this one was so important that they hand animated every single cell of the man hitting the propeller and spinning. The man who did that was named Andy Jones. This was his very first movie. I like to think his only job on this movie. I mean, that's probably not true, but I like to think he was like, you're the propeller guy. And your job is to, you're the propeller guy.

And your job is to take care of a propeller guy. He's now an Oscar winner for other special effects work. So he did this really started a career for him. He did not start off very well, though. He had, they got all the information. James Cameron is very, very thorough and very technical. So they knew, they knew like fall velocities from where he'd fall, how far it was to the ocean, how far it was to the propeller, things like that. And so he did a very faithful first draft of this and turned it in to James Cameron, who again was very like the historical accuracy. It's very important to get this crash just right. He studied extensively all the mechanics of this crash, how every part of it how the boat Reacted and went down like I believe he even made like some

Some discoveries with like the recreations of like how how this must have really happened So he turned in this shot and they called him in the office and we're like this sucks Okay, okay, and they said they asked him to double check the math on it. And he says, I'm reading right from the article, I assured him that the distance and rate of speed the figure was falling was correct. He then asked me to double the distance he falls after hitting the propeller to the water. It would have been difficult to push the water plane away without breaking other parts of the shot. So I ended up animating the scale of the figure down to about 60% his size from the propeller to the water,

giving the illusion that the figure was falling farther than he really was. This worked and Jema proved the shot. So they got the mathematical version and they said, I need, after he hits the propeller, I need him to spin more. I need him to spin a lot faster and a lot faster. No, that's why he's the best. And what he did was he was like, well, so what actually happens in that special effect is that he hits the propeller, begins to spin and then shrinks to 60% in size. So I think if we had not mentioned that shot, the comments would

info with people saying the all time greatest unintentionally funny scene is the propeller guy got the guy bonking off propeller and titan like including the sound he makes the way falls everything about it. So yeah, surely that's not an intentional comedy beat. Why is it there? It is not. I don't, because it's still very, if I giggle every time I see it, and in fact, we are not completely alone, at least on this one. I looking up propeller guy gives you a 10 hour loop, somebody put on YouTube of him just hitting the propeller, spinning over and over and I forget. Like it's, it's clearly, I feel like it's some people.

I think it's a check-up scum type thing. I feel like if you're watching a bunch of propellers and you get through the movie and nobody falls into those propellers, like, that's cinematic blue balls. I think James Cameron knows that. I think honestly, I think what that was supposed to do was just kind of spice up the scene, like he would realize we have not had action a long time. Now we're getting all of this action, but we need something, bam, like notable. You need like a notable moment.

You need spinning action. It needs to spin more and then shrink 60%. That's what I'm referring to. We have no spinning, no shrinking. I did, however, in looking this up, I found the reddit thread of people talking about this moment, and there were a few people that thought this was very funny. By and large, whoever the sentiment was, this was deeply serious, and I would like to read part of this reddit thread to make us all feel like monsters in particular. Please.

I can't really speak on the accuracy of the moment, but I assume the angle he hit the propeller at wouldn't have been enough to sever a limb. I love this scene. I cringe every time. It's so viscerally horrifying to me. I really, really hate when people laugh at it because I see no humor in it and I find it insensitive. To propeller victims. Okay, they got to make her things to worry about, I think. All of the people who have hit propellers and then shrank into the water. The reply to this says, I absolutely agree. They wouldn't be laughing if it were their loved one that happened to that's probably true

Um, I don't know that I'm not really sure with that If I had to choose a way to die on the Titanic drowning freezing to death in the water having the boat fall on me after the Dick cracked in half You know, they fall down and then hitting the propeller and just 10 wheeling into the water. I think that would have to be the best way to go because again, everyone who survived would be telling that story for the next 100 years and their grandchildren would be telling you, you won't get one guy hit the propeller. He went in wheeling into the water. Everyone laughed.

He despite themselves. He gave them a brief moment of joy in his life as he went out. Jason, you don't know how right you are. Here is the next comment. That scene always made me cringe. And ever since 9-11, it makes you think of all those poor desperate people who leapt from the towers. And probably falling at least twice think of all those poor desperate people who leapt from the towers. And probably falling at least twice, three times the distance as people who jumped from

the Titanic, very chilling, very sad. I suppose, in another 50 or 60 years or so, if someone makes another movie about September 11th, people alive then will have similar discussions about a scene of someone jumping from the towers. I guess, like in the comic sense, it goes on to say, I've always been of the impression that the man who hits the propeller is Cyril Rick's, and the person who falls for the exceptional distance in the moment beforehand is Frank Prentice. Frank survived, and artistic license is obviously taken given the link to the fall, and described the enormous fall past the propeller. Cyril jumped at the same time and Frank

coming across him in the water, unconscious after apparently hitting something on the way or in the water. So this person at least thinks it was a real guy. And a hundred years later, we are still laughing at the gift he gave us. You're completely correct. And the guy who surfed the Titanic down,

I actually remember from the like the DVD extras, like that was based on a real account. The guy saying he's like, I didn't get my hair wet. He's like, I just rode the acid down. He's like, it just went gently into the water and I just tread water. He's like, I literally just, it was actually very easy.

I don't know why everybody else didn't do that. You know what? It was really, it was actually very empowering. I've, it really helped my confidence. I surfed that bitch into the water. Can I maybe feel like everybody else who died was weak. Like maybe this was natural selection, doing its thing. I don't want to say this or anything, but maybe some of these people couldn't just couldn't surf. Maybe if you can't surf, get off the Titanic.

Is all I'm saying. That's the saying. I thought somebody was gonna bring Meet Joe Black because there's of course the famous scene where we're bred, pit, wanders into traffic and just gets annihilated by every car in the entire city. I doubt that. That's one of my favorite scenes.

That's so over the top goofy that I, through this day, don't know what they're going for. But that movie has a lot of weird moments. That could be its own podcast episode. It's speaking of, I did take one of those weird moments. Let me just play it for you now. The male voice in the scene is Brad Pitt. Mama, go over to Dr. Lady Mom. I'm going to be fine.

Don't leave me. Don't leave me. She'll be right back. I'm gonna go. Rady. Or be evil, I'm not evil, Oma. And what you is then? I'm from that next place.

You're waiting here to take us? Like is the bus driver to there? No man, I am all day. Red Pitt, he on all day. Sounds but you pick. Pean, pean, bad, bad. I don't have nothing to do with these things, Jim. Make it go away.

Doctor, lady, make it hurry. Not this being. This being got thrown through me. Make it go away. I can't sister. You can't, mister. Take me to that next place. It's not your time now.

Make it time. You can't put away things you can't be. Please. time, make it time. You can't fool the way things got to be. So, uh, so hard to explain what's going on there. If you have a scene in the movie, why he suddenly switches to that accent, because he's he's playing death, right? He has, and he's speaking to a woman, he knows she's dying. She somehow knows he's death. He's the grim reaper or whatever. And he starts she's from the exotic.

Yeah, and he starts talking in that accent, which... I mean, they're speaking English. She could just... Because he doesn't talk like the rest of the time, so it's... Again, they're trying to make it very... Yeah, they could do like a job-of-the-hut thing where she speaks Patoan, he talks regular. But also, there's not a real reason for it to happen other than just to show that, oh, this guy can speak any dialect.

I think it's funny just because they like leave him with her. Like the daughter is there with the sick mother and the nurse takes the daughter away and leaves her with this strange man who has no business being in the hospital who just like walked up to her and just started doing his crazy Jamaican accent. And they're like, okay, come here, daughter.

Leave your mother, leave your sick mother with this crazy man. Also, at no point did she assume he was making fun of her? Yes. I think it's there for a cinematic purpose in that it's a little jarring to just have a character like just get hit by three cards at the same time.

Right. I think they really need to earn like that as a fate. I think maybe that's what that was. That's right. Yeah. Earning the time he gets ping-pong balls by a trio of balls. They call it, check i was pet what accent uh... so i do have a bonus entry that i can talk about if we've already run

too long we don't have to do it uh... but it might be the the entire movie ruckian for a dream uh... the entire where it's about the house here's people all get addicted to drugs in similar ways. And then they each crash and burn at the end and suffer. It is the most over-the-top, refurb madness-ass.

Like, one guy gets addicted to heroin. And so his arm gets infected and they have to sever his arm. They have to amputate his arm. So that's his punishment. And like an old lady gets addicted to pills. And then I think she dies. And then Jennifer Connelly's character gets addicted to drugs and has to do sex work. And so she has to do an ass to ask a double dildo scene. And it's all sent to this, this like montage of like, it's just the misery point of like this is what happens when you do drugs. And one guy's like goes to buy drugs and the drug dealer just pulls out a machine gun and starts mowing

down all of his customers because that's what happens when you try to buy drugs. You just get shot by the machine gun. They're just all evil. They just like to shoot people. That's how people die in drug-related incidents. The whole thing, again, if you were trying to make a comedy making fun of drug-scare movies, I think it would play exactly the same way, and I have never run into anyone who shares that opinion.

I might share that opinion. I only really remember the ass to ass, but I do sort of remember it, like not resonating with me at all. People said it was a good movie, and I remember just leaving thinking, I don't think any of those people were right, but I guess I never gave much thought. I just remember admiring how committed the guy who says as to as was. Like there was no holding back in that man.

He gave that one line, everything he had. I bet it's because a lot of people are not into it. And so you have to have a lot of enthusiasm to get the crowd pumped. You know, like, if you're like, hey guys, do we think? You think maybe we should put one end in the butt and then the other end did a different butt

and people are like, why would we do that? Who was getting anything out of that? But if you're like, yay, Phil is here, it's 10. Yes, yes, and you're like, whoa, there must really be something to this as to as thing. Fine, I'm on board, let's do it. Fire it up.

Just like thinking, that had kind of an all-star cast doing what they thought was their very serious, Oscar, Ready, Rolls. And do you remember a single line other than As-S from that movie? No. So that guy who was not a notable actor in any way stole that entire movie from them by screaming ass to ass.

He was supporting a best supporting actor that year. One line and deliver it. So also I wonder how many takes they did, how many different ways they had him do it and for 40 finally nailed it. Cause we can all hear his inflection. Can you do it like James Lipton? Ask?

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Every save! Nancy Shark! Don doing really good. Here is, Jellahawk, I'm cutting him, Hamloon, Harapoh, Harapoh, Harapoh, Harapoh, Harapoh, Harapoh, Harapoh, Harapoh, Harapoh, Harapoh, Harapoh, Harapoh, Harapoh, Harapoh, Harapoh, Harapoh, Harapoh, Harapoh, Harapoh, Harapoh, Harapoh, Harapoh, Harapoh, Harapoh, Harapoh, Harapoh, Harapoh, Harapoh, Harapoh, Harapoh, Harapoh, Harapoh, Harapoh, Harapoh, Harapoh, Harapoh, Harapoh, Harapoh, Harapoh, Harapoh, Harapoh, Harapoh, Harapoh, Harapoh, Harapoh, Harapoh, Harapoh, Harapoh, Harapoh, Harapoh, Harapoh, Harapoh, Harapoh, Harapoh, Harapoh, Harapoh, Harapoh, Harapoh, Harapoh, Harapoh, Harapoh, Harapoh, Harapoh, Harapoh, Harapoh, Harapoh, Harapoh, Harapoh, Harapoh, Harapoh, Harapoh, Harapoh, Harapoh, Harapoh, Harapoh, Harapoh, Harapoh, Harapoh, Harapoh, Harapoh, Harapoh, Harapoh, Harapoh, Harapoh, Harapoh, Harapoh Harapoh, Harapoh, Harapoh, Harapoh, Harapoh, Harapoh, Harapoh, Harapoh, Harapoh, Harapoh, Harapoh, Harapoh, Harapoh, Hello. Hello, hello. A Harvey Pen Gweedie. Hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello. Howdy, howdy. Howdy, howdy, howdy. Howdy, howdy. Howdy, howdy, howdy. Howdy, howdy.

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Okay, just close and talk. Well, you and me, Mew hurts! Mickey, play on floor! Neu, Crelson! Crelson, hold on to your clothing! Patrick hurts! Patrick hurts! Patrick hurts! Yeah, I know everybody knows how to turn their hearts!

Okay? Rachel! For you! Spark, Cofsky! Sean Chase, Stony Recephan, Silver Dog, and Tim, Edit, House, House, House, House, House, House, House, House, House, House, House, House, House, House, House, House, House, House, House, House, House, House, House, House, House, House, House, House, House, House, House, House, House, House, House, House, House, House, House, House, House, House, House, House, House, House, House, House, House, House, House, House, House, House, House, House, House, House, House, House, House, House, House, House, House, House, House, House, House, House, House, House, House, House, House, House, House, House, House, House, House, House, House, House, House, House, House, House, House, House, House, House, House, House, House, House, House, House, House, House, House, House, House, House, House, House, House, House, House, House, House, House, House, House, House, House, House, House, House, House, House, House, House, House, House, House, House, House, House, House, House, House, House, House, House, House, House, House, House, House, House, House, House, House, House, House, House, House, House, House, House, House, House, House, House, House, House, House, House, House, House, House, House, House, House, House, House, House, House, House, House, House, House, House, House, House, House, House, House, House, House, House, House, House, House, House, House, House, House, House, House, House, House, House, House, House, House, House, House, House, House, House, House, House, House, House, House, I'm going to work on this. Hush! How awesome! Tomic, alright. Thomas Kavatsos. Okay, time to go. Oh, hey, gee.

We'll be in a ruffle. You're the one to notice. You're a serian and the worst but not least, who told us? And who? And who? And who? And who? And who? And who? And who? I'm not least 12. 12. 12. 12.

Okay, hold on, I'm gonna do a good job. 12. 12. I'm just gonna do a fast, real fast. 12. I'm gonna do a hell. 12. Fuck this, I'm gonna go a beer now! I'm gonna get in the hell! I'm gonna get a beer! Fuck this! I'm gonna go eat some kids.

Jason thinks it's funny when a school shooting happens.