The Dogg Zzone by 1900HOTDOG - Dogg Zzone 9000 - Episode 149, Rollercoasters With Tom Reimann

Episode Date: November 15, 2023

Brockway grants magnificent power to Seanbaby and guest, Tom Reimann: The power to discuss Rollercoasters, a 1987 rollerdancing superhero comic from wonderful maniacs, Blue Comet Press. To the public, this podcast will be known as The Dogg Zzone, but in secret it shall be Roller Doggs!

1,900 hot dog! 1,900 hot dog! A podcast slammed with maximum height! Say hot dog podcast worked! Yeah! When you taste that nitrate power, you're in the dog zone for hours! Come on!

You don't remember! 1,900 hot dog! 1,900 hot dog! Welcome to the Dog Zone 9000, the official podcast of 1900 Hot Dog America's last website. We normally specify comedy website. I think we can call it, right? We're the last website. So if you like those websites, we're still doing that. We're the last one. Come support us on patreon.com slash 1900 hotdog,

which is not itself a website. We run no ads, no viruses, no tracking, no AI spam, just, just hard work in comedians, right and hard work in comedy for you, the hard work in reader. Uh, I'm all American, every man Robert Brockway and with me is our website's heel professor ultimate millionaire, Sean, baby. It's a pleasure to be here My daughter's grade school is on strike and so I'm now a School teacher in addition to being an evil millionaire liberal elite

Seal the education of our children. Yes, what is your agenda? You came out with that labeled agenda. I started a classroom for all the neighborhood children where I teach them how to roast people like a drag queen. And you hear our guest today running up behind both of us with a motorcycle chain is flying Tom Reibon. Hey, it's me, plucky child soldier sidekick. Hey, it's me, plucky child soldier sidekick. You know what I'm doing today, Tom. I'm doing pretty good, how about you guys? Tom, nice. Medium. I'm not teaching America's youth.

I imagine that's a high. I can't access. I think the absolute peak would be teaching America's youth karate. Oh, there it is. I think I don't have an intense karate curriculum. I don't have a... Have you seen my syllabus? It's just a bunch of...

It's just a bunch of kids. Stack of bricks and I say bottom one daughter. It's a bow staff. It's the map of the human body with destructible points. Pointed out. All the joints that you can destroy most easily as a kid to a gardener, of course. Tom, before we get started on all this, I do a podcast network, Gameflan Employed with my co-host and partner, David Bell. You can check that out on Patreon at patreon.com such Gameflan' Employed with my co-host and partner, David Bell.

You can check that out on Patreon at patreon.com such Gameflin' Employed. We also have a bunch of free shows. You can check out on Apple Podcasts or Abuse Listen Podcasts. So that's the thing that I'm plugging. Go check that out. Fantastic plug. I'm gonna steal this chance to plug our sister podcast.

Big Feats. We do it with Minchron and Tiktok, Celebrity Dance and Celebrity Jason Pargin, is on there and we are watching every single episode of Mountain Monsters in Order. It's a hillbilly monster hunting show. They do pretend it's real, it's a real thing and it's fantastic. It comes out every other week, Big Feats. One word, two feats. Oh, okay.

We each have to get a Cherokee bride, a ghost Cherokee bride, like the Bigfoot. This is relevant to the show. This is an inside joke about the show. It's important to note that if you have not heard about the show. What are you talking? I don't remember that at all.

I thought this was totally unrelated. Well, we're today, we are going to be talking about roller coasters. This is a comic book published by Blue Comic Press. Great name, by the way. Not confusing at all. I just, what's speaking of being confused, I want to say that the amount of time I spent trying to decode when you told me what this episode was about, it's this comic book roller,

it's this roller coaster's comic book that's hard to find. Like having no frame of reference for what that could possibly be, it was such a thrilling mystery to sit there and wonder what those words could mean. It couldn't be what it sounds like, it'd be so stupid, right? But it's roller coasters that fight crime, but that's awesome. I want to see Space Mountain punch doctor doom in the face. What if it has nothing to do with crime

and it's just drawings of people? A roller coasters? Just like Norman Rockwell paintings of people enjoying themselves on roller coasters. And we're gonna do a podcast about it. We're gonna do a solid hour and a half a comedy about roller coasters. Actually, technically, we are. This comic came out in 1987. Blue Comic Press is super

indie press. I discovered quite by accident. The owner and editor-in-chief was a man named Craig Stormon, who also created, wrote Andrew. I want to say most of the titles. That is not the case with roller coasters for the most part. It was the personal pet project of writer and artist DuVal Stowers. That is shocking. That is legitimately shocking because reading this comic, both comics, and all of the editors' notes and stuff

and the little side columns that they have, I was fully convinced that every single person, quote unquote, involved in Blue Comet Press was one guy. Like, I thought this was a one dude doing all of this and just pretending to be different names. That is, okay, you have it exactly correct. That is 90% of the guy.

That is almost every single other title by Blue Comet Press is Craig Stormon pretending to be, and possibly thinking he is about 17 people and none of them like each other at all. They're all fighting all the time. They're fighting with each other in the back of the comic. And I'm like, this is clearly the same guy. He's an absolute lunatic. He did write issue number zero,

with a very introduction of the roller coasters, but issue one was drawn and written by Duval Stowers. Total rarely, he wrote somebody else into doing it for once, and this was Duval Stowers Passion Project. He just wanted to tell this particular story. Because Craig Stormon loved to write those issue zero teasers, he also loved to cancel those issue zero teasers, he also loved to cancel those issue zero teasers, even if he wrote them, even if there were his own titles.

So most of Blue Comic Presses titles technically didn't make it to the first issue. They were canceled before they started. This has the stink of that. Reading this comic, I'm like, okay, this is a guy who doesn't finish projects. All of these are so half-baked. He had an idea of roller skate superheroes and maybe had a little fun coming up with like five different versions of that for the team and then like, I don't want to fucking write that and draw that.

It's really only two versions, though, isn't it? Right. Oh my God. Yeah, if we're being clear. Like it just it feels like it feels like very Rob Liefeld where like the fun part of the project is kind of just like hanging out and like maybe with a friend maybe by yourself but just the big ideas and then you're like oh it's time to to get down to the work and like give these people personalities and like write the plot. And he's just like, I don't know what the fuck I'm doing. That has. It has.

A thousand percent has the energy of a cart before the horse comic, where what I mean by that is like, any comic that was released in support of something. Like we had a science museum, local to where I grew up in Hampton Roads called Nauticus. And they put out a series of comic books to support it called Captain Nauticus. And the writing was almost identical to the writing in this comic where it's just, they're just like, yeah, yeah, we got to get the comic out.

But really, it's this idea. They think for some reason it's in service of an idea that they think is is bigger than So like the than the actual comics like the comic the way the comic is written It feels like they're annoyed that they actually have to make the comic Yeah, like they already want the money from the toys. Yeah, like come on Can we just skip this part? Well, no, that's the entirety of what your thing is is this comic book? Fantastic, I want you to remember all of these words so that you can live to regret them. And you will. You absolutely will. You are both 100% correct about Craig Stormon himself who started Blue Comic Press. I believe the flagship title of Blue Comic Press, it was called

Life Brigade and I believe that's the longest running title they ever had across a period of I want to say seven years It was a real survivor. It made it all the way to issue number three before Craig Storm uncanceled it himself That comic it is completely you've actually read it. Oh, yeah, I'm on it. Oh Shit, I've done articles on the first two I just finally got my hands on the third one I have a lurch set up on obscure comic book sites to whenever these because these are so rare that they never come up Like I'll get an issue out of order

Months so part and I'll you know jump on to buy the good thing is that because they're so rare They're also not expensive because they're garbage. They're insane garbage and nobody's ever heard of them So I get them for like a dollar. It's just, it's the good cut. Well, it's the buyer's kind of rare. I guess I want to say, because I don't want to say the good kind of rare, because it's bad if you're trying to sell it, but yeah.

I want to say I have probably about 70% of the entire run of blue comics. And I want to say I spent about $30. I was going to ask ask I feel like this comic doesn't make it past what we've read. No, it does. This had real this had real mirage energy. However, give it credit for making it to issue one. There are real. It had an issue zero and most titles as I've said, Craig Stormund did cancel even even if they were his own, his own idea. He'd write it and be like, ah, fuck it. And he'd cancel it.

And it lasted. It lasted just long enough for them to, for the rollercoasters to declare their intentions to attack the federal government. Yes. And we'll get to that. It's wonderful. Tom is not exaggerating or incorrect. Maybe that's perhaps why the sudden cancellation is that he was just writing along and

they, oh no, what have I done? I can't, this is in pen. I'm just going to cancel it. All right, so let's get into the comic itself. It takes place in Venice Beach, which issue number zero does say is the fun spot of West California, all insane descriptors. You can't just call it West California first of all. And the only fun spot. Others call it the zoo. Because there's so many animals there. What is it?

How is this the wildest animals on earth? And we do, as we say, people call it the zoo and these are all animals, we are depicting mostly minorities, which is, I don't think intentionally, I know I'm not intentionally racist because of who created this, but it's not a good look. And that kind of blinded blindness to the optics is going to permeate the entire run.

I will say, go ahead, Sean. I was gonna say like, for the art, I want you to try to picture. And if you're a comic nerd, picture an 11 year old trying to copy Neil Adams. And that's the art. Yeah. It's, yeah, no knowledge of anatomy. So everyone's just kind of strangely, they're just kind of clumps of horse meat. And it looks long and lean clumps of horse meat. Everybody is 17 feet tall and weighs about 98 pounds. It looks like a 1992 issue of spectacular spider man left out in the sun. Now did either of you happen to notice

the shading in particular. Yeah, that's very Neil Adams. It's, uh, it's very diseased. It's very, it's very everybody has a skin disorder. Yeah, yeah. It's tough to pull off. He's a pretty unique talent that man. I wanted to say that this is like you mentioned it. You don't believe it's intentionally racist. I will say that reading this comic, just to give everybody who's listening an idea of what this reading this book is like, the art and the writing both, made me have this specific thought I thought to myself, I really hope this disguise isn't white. I have good news and bad news for you. The good news first do vol stowers, the creator and artists of both and writer of issue number one is a black man. That is genuinely great. Especially for issue one, which has some specific slurs we'll get into. Issue zero was written by Craig Stormon,

however, because he insisted that he write all of the issue zeros that appear in titles that he'd written for consistency. So that's why the two issues don't connect to each other at all. Got it. And they're both have like wildly different. Right. Yeah. They're completely inconsistent, but he had to write issue zero for consistency.

Yes. but he would see he had to write issue zero for consistency. Yes, it's an insane premise. Like to say, there's a preview to another comic book at the end of my comic book. I have to write that. The very first appearance of the comic book. Otherwise, people will be like, wow, this reads completely different. I'm gonna throw it in the garbage.

Like, I don't know if it's arrogance. It's kind of scans like my immediate assumption. This is based on nothing I couldn't find anything about it is that it's some sort of copyright thing like maybe I'm in on the very perseverance. That's a good. It's probably a payment thing, right, so that he can claim that he created them. Yeah. Because he was the editor in chief of this small press that that he was also presumably paying people to work on. So there's some, did you, you must have seen the note at the end where he clumsily explains that they're about to lose two of their writer artists because

he can't pay them. Yeah, we'll get. Okay. Craig Stowe-Mine is also famous for writing just unhinged manifestos. Every part of his, these books is a rant. It's one long rant spread across one and a half comic books and it leads into every page, not just the comic itself, but also the letters to the editor and the editors' notes.

It's just one long manifesto. It's wonderful. There's nothing like the way this guy puts Exposition into thought bubbles in a way that's just so crazy like it's too flowery and It's not like a human thought and I really think it betrays that he's a space monster because like a guy will think things like Darkness envelops me as I enter into the unknown. You're're like, what is this guy thinking? What are these words? Yeah, it's somebody constructing sentences as though they are made out of Lego blocks,

and like shaken in a bucket, and you're like just grabbing one that's like, this is gonna be close enough. I've never slept that in there. That one's a duplo. Yeah, it works with Lego. Does it fit? Not really, am I gonna use it?

Yes, I am. All right, so we meet our main cast of characters. Very diverse. They're all in hot pants. They're all 17 feet tall and super leaning. I want to have a quote here, the fabulous action spot. We call skaters Ali. It's good writing.

It's just good writing. Where we meet our main character, Mickey D. Steele, good name, who is roller dancing, it up to the delight of everybody. We are told that he glides like an eagle in flight. His fantastic moves would shame the best contortionist. For he is the entertainer, and this is his stage. And all of that's in the comic.

All of that is in the comic. All direct quotes also followed by the crowdroars, and it is sweet nectar to the lone skater. Like, you can't read this without it being narrated by James Lipton. Yeah. Yeah. The pros of this comic is written like somebody doing a bit.

Like it's not just read by James Lipton. It's like read by James Lipton on arrest a development. Like it's that it's it's flowery in a comedic way. But unintentionally. So yes, this is all I've dug into it extensively. Every one of these these efforts is I can't wait to hear what's happening here because I'm convinced It's one person doing all of it. I think the dialogue is natural. Let me just give you a sample Mickey D. Steele's girlfriend comes up behind him and

Grab the shit A theme in the comic is to the grabs she says hey lover boy what's shaken and he responds my body over yours My dear and I just think that's like that's really romantic like now We know that those two fuck and not just fuck but it's weird and often And what that when you can best describe that is I put my body on top of yours and shake and take Just vibrate just vibrate given all their neighbors nightmares He always finds a way to bring it up. I'm a total shunnest.

That's what ladies like. They like to say hi. And then you say, I'll tell you what's high. The top of my boner. And she's like over your hot roller skating mod. She does kind of love it. But she says, are your hormones acting up again, which is an insane thing to say to your boyfriend

when you're both adults? Then he says, like, I can't help it, I'm just feeling the groove. The groove got me. The groove got me. This is all the set up, the perfect life that Mickey D. Steel has. He's a roller contortionist, everybody loves him.

He has a hot, incredibly ripped girlfriend. We haven't specified this. She is Arnold Schwarzenegger. She has back muscles like a pro wrestler. Yeah, she's fucking- Like, he's really the illustrator of this issue, really, really, really got into drawn her back when they show her back.

Great back. Great back. I don't know why you're spending so much time giving all these details because he explains the whole thing as thought bubbly says, man, this is rad. What more can I ask? And then the immediate like he says man,

he thinks man, this is rad. What more can I ask? And the very next line is, steal your time has come. Fucking awesome. Just immediate. Deliver it. Deliver it by just an incidental wizard.

I know where there's to fucking wizard here. He ripped a flaming portal into the roller dancing rink and Venice beach and scream the his time has come to which Mickey looks up and replies, hama hama hama. It's good writing. Yeah, like Ralph Cramden, but he doesn't even, there's a, but he's not even doing it right

because he says Hama and a Hama nut. So like, there's a few times this writer does this in these comics where he says like, sayings or phrases, but doesn't use them right. So like Sean said, I think this is an alien, right? Yep, it's for sure it is. This is an insane alien. I'll let you be the judge.

Let me just read to you what he thinks to himself when this wizard shows up. Now this is, it's pretty normal. Okay. He thinks, and I quote, mom always told me if somebody floats around in a white gown and does a light show and you can't explain who in the hell he is and two words or less and he's, he continues,

your feet will tell your brain to run. But I never ran away from anything in my life. What happened to my bravery, my courage? Now I know where it is. I left it at home, I think I better go there and get it. He gets interrupted. He bumps into Kyle who is fated to betray the roller coasters. Right, that's what what's what Charles was talking about earlier with like that's the exposition like in a comic book. Okay, we accept that that especially of this era Spider-Man is gonna think like I'm every move that he does because they don't have any faith in the audience who to be fair

Or like eight years old, right and I am in the 80s. I'm assuming drunk But he's a great of a court It still is in my household. Mom always told me if somebody floats around and white. Like, none of that is what a human would think at any point. But it spans three panels just to break all of this down. He runs into, Mickey is running away from the Venice Beach Wizard, which I will argue is not

even that unusual thing to spot in Venice Beach. Like if a wizard ripped through a portal. Yeah, you never know. I can't. Yeah, that's something unusual is happening. You would just think, fuck yeah, this roller skating act rules. Oh, yeah. Yeah, this is just a Tony Hawk level. But, but he's sprinting away from any runs into Kyle who is sort of his friend. I'm guessing they are.

It's a frenemy. it's like his ice man. Yeah, from context, they're all part of the same roller dancing troop in Venice Beach. I wanna hate each other. I'm gonna push back on that. None of that is clear in issue zero. No, I don't think that's even clear through most of issue one. It's only because Mickey D. Steele says the words,

we're all in a roller skating trip together. That's the first time that became clear to me. And that's like happening through issue. Tom, if you were in a roller skating group with me, I would remind you of that every day. Right, it's all we would talk about. It's just that he thinks like, you came with roller skating roller skate dancing troupe and thanks This is such a normal thing. I don't even need to explain it like if they run into each other you will assume

Of course they are rivals on the same roller dancing troupe He Kyle just fucking shuts Mickey down. He by slightly doubting Mickey, Mickey just loses 100% of his confidence, which I would say was world shattering minutes ago when he had his huge girlfriend and the entire for all the Venice Beach cheering for his sick roller skating. Are you guys looking at the comic? Are you open? Oh yeah.

I have it memorized. Take a look at the panel where he's like waking Mickey up from his like wizard haunting and look at their legs. And so Mickey has. What is happening there? Mickey has his back leg behind his friends back leg in a way that makes it look like it's got, I mean, it's got to be 14 feet long.

Like the, the aneptitude of this guy's drawing is so frustrating to me that like, I don't know. Like it took me like an hour to get through this comic because I'm just like, how the fuck does that work? Ha ha ha ha. It's like, yeah, anatomy. I mean, he is the world's best contortionist. You know, that's a good point.

That's true, that is an excellent point. Each drawing is a riddle. In fact, you should find out at some point that everybody here is the world's best contortionist and that's why you can't critique this art. That's what I would do if I were this guy. Everybody's just the world's best contortionist and you're an idiot.

I'll take from getting that. Yeah. Yeah. I figured it was me. Kyle steals all of his fragile confidence. He gives him an arched eyebrow and says something about close encounters. And Mickey is just like, I don't know. I must have imagined everything. I'm sorry. I'm going to go.

Kyle don't tell anybody. And then the second he turns around around he runs back into the wizard to which he says yeah, whoa like a human would do completely unlike any sort of alien who is freshly landed on our planet would say. Come, Mr. Steel, come and embrace your future. What calls for you? No. Whoop!

He starts talking about destiny. What a fucking great wizard. Like, he's every line is so wizard. Yeah, he's a maximum wizard. He studied with the best. He's really nailed being the obtuse mystical guy. He does invite Mickey to run into a blank wall because this is after Xanadu came out. When everybody was roller skating, that's exactly what happens to the magical land in Xanadu.

You have to skateboard into the realm of the muses. Oh yeah. Roller skate into the realm of the muses. So we steal that completely from it and he walks through the wizard's blank wall portal, which I would argue is not like, that's stranger danger. I think that counts the stranger danger. I would go straight through that wall. That's so clearly a real wizard. It is so unclear that that's what happened. You guys are talking about him going into the wall. I was like, what? Yeah, they didn't draw that.

I think it's just because we love Xanity. We watch Xanity do all the time. They sort of draw it, but it's, I never would have made, if you guys had to say that, I never would have understood what was supposed to be happening in this business. Once again, if the same thing is the roller skate dancing troupe where it's just like, yeah, you know, like we all know the short hand, like he's gonna skate into the wall, I can say I don't do.

It's only because you were removed from time and the roller skate dancing world of Venice Beach that you don't know that, like an idiot. Yeah, I know, that figure it was me. So it got away from that and meet't know that, like an idiot. Yeah, I know. That figure it was me. So we got away from that and meet his girlfriend again, who is even buffer. I feel like she gets more ripped every single. She gets bigger, she's like.

Literally every panel, she gets just a little more buff. She grows a little bit taller. She's just a... I don't even know what, how to describe this. This is like a minitar. It's like someone drew a minitar and then like, I don't even know how to describe this. It's like a minitar. It's like someone drew a minitar and then barely gave it tits. And he's like, yeah, that's good.

That's a girlfriend. I love it. She's hot as shit. The first panel of this new scene of his girlfriend walking out of, I don't know, carrying some box. It's walking out of, I don't know, carrying some box, just walking out of some store. Like her proportions of her body are so, like her torso, her upper half is so much larger than her lower half.

It's, it looks like a cartoon, like a buff cartoon dog if that makes sense. Yeah. And it couldn't have been an easier pose to draw to. This is like how you would teach someone where to, how long to make an arm. And he's like, right, I just made it at that mix. Yeah. And it couldn't have been an easier pose to draw to. This is like how you would teach someone where to how long to make an arm. And he's like, well, I just made it four feet shorter. And then he changed the bull head to a human head.

Boom, that's a hot human lady. It's literally, you're right. It's literally like a figure pose. Like it's just a pose. It couldn't even do that, Red. Now, especially in Venice Beach in this era, yeah, you can have just ripped women the ripped women exist they're great that's not that's not what that's not

business no beef with ripped women that's not what this is about also I feel like I feel like there's a rule across the board with men to where if somebody is a certain degree of ripped you have to at least mention it. Like, you have to explain something. Like, maybe that they're intense love for it. Maybe she's a professional bodybuilder. You have to explain why she's a hulk. Like, why, why we have a hulk? But nobody does.

They're just like, yeah, of course, it's natural. This is somebody who was just so lost in Venice Beach that they're like, could not imagine the world outside of it not working like this. Like, they would assume this is how downtown looks in Ohio. Like, just they would have roller dancing troops and huge ripped women and they would just be walking around about performing. Wizards would have rubbed out of the sky.

That's the dream. That's Ohio. That's so high up to a baby. That's Columbus, Ohio. That's what it is. So she's a great character. Here's her first lines. Hope my baby likes this outfit I got especially for him. If he doesn't, I'll bash his head in. I do just anything for Mickey. What can I say? He brings out the freaking me. So the the bash is head in line.

I couldn't write that down fast enough. She has a Hulk. She has Hulk Fury. And he's aware of her courage. Her crazy strength. I'll sort of put on the very next page where we get to see her fantastic back or muscular back. As she's walking towards the horizon. She's walking towards like an Akira dystopic skyscape. Yeah, that's very strange.

Like, I don't know where she's headed. She's headed into like a Gritty 80s anime. So real quick, what is her name? No idea, apparently her name is Kat. I don't think they've said it yet. That's not great either. That's not the same. That's not the else somebody else. No, it's somebody else the tall girl calls her small fry But I don't think that's her given name No, so we learn how horny she is twice before we learn her name is all that one dear just dear dress her name

Oh, yeah, dear drop dear. Dierdra is her name. I think we learned that later unless I missed it. She says D.D. on is her name. I think we learned that later, unless I missed it. She says D-D on the next page. She calls her D-D. On the next page? Mickey D. Steele might have used her name when she came up behind him. I think we learned D-R-D on the next page. So yeah, she does, we learn how much she wants to fuck twice before her. Oh, you're right. Yeah, no, we absolutely didn't hear her name until this, this page. Until the next page. It's important to know that's above average for 1987.

She is stopped while she's walking into the Akira landscape by a 20-foot tall woman, who is not addressed, who is so tall, her head is out of it like they couldn't draw her head and didn't want to take didn't want to take it again. Her name is Kathy. Her name is Kathy. This is another member of the roller dancing troupe. This is good dialogue too. I want to read this.

She says, Kathy, you've dyed your hair. Okay. Who's heart? You're going to break tonight. And she says, Oh, D.D. You can read me. And open book. And she says, Oh, D.D.

D. You can read me like an open book, but never And she says, oh, did he? Did he? You can read me like an open book, but never mind that. It's the party still on for tonight. It's just real natural. This is like, this is like, skits in an anti-drug trip in like, in like a fifth grade education class in 1989. Like, if something a puppet would say, yeah, a puppet in church has said this line.

The funniest thing to me is that panel, this happens within two panels. We get this one panel where we're introduced to this new character, Kathy, who is nine feet tall, is so much taller than Deirdre, her head's out of frame. We get the one panel of their dialogue, and then the very next panel, two panels later, we are introduced to an even taller character.

Who is now 14 feet tall? He dwarfs them both! This is just every character you meet will be increasingly used in a flag of life. It was so close, like no shit to panels. Even taller character. I like this character because I understand him. Look, see, there hasn't been a ton of character development

for the others. We know the girl's horny, but that's a given. This is an 80s comic. We know the reason we need it. Yeah, but this guy comes in and he says like, yeah, is there gonna be food, ain't no party without the food? Gotta have food at the gig like you know what I'm saying? I'm like this guy likes food.

It's got like food and he's got his name on his shirt, which is Mr. Madd. That helps too. He's Mr. Madd and he likes food. I wonder what's gonna happen if there's no food at that party guys. We have multiple hulks in the equation. They're all hulks. Every member of the team is a whole. You better have so much fucking meat at this party.

Everybody needs protein so badly. She has five scolabes of ribs, especially for him. She got him just five slabs of ribs. Speaking of she has, she just asks Kyle, who is also here, like, Hey, have you seen my boyfriend Mickey? And Kyle is just like, I don't know what you see in that skinny F word that we think. Yeah, he really went in. He does not like this guy. I would argue that if there is any possible way to make a comic book more for children

than roller skating superheroes, I don't know what it is. Like this is not an adult title. There will not be excessive violence. There won't be actual drug use. We will see drugs, but in the capacity of drugs are evil. This is like firmly aimed at kids and we're dropping, we're dropping slurs and there will be multiple. Said in hate. Also Kyle, this is the, we had no indication, like they were totally buddy, buddy and cool earlier. And now he just hates Mickey D steal for some reason.

Okay, like decided partway through the panel. Like wait, fuck that guy. Partway through this panel. He's like, wait, fuck that, John! Partway through this panel. He saw him hanging out with the wizard, and he's just like, fucking wizards. Brewing in Venice Beach. Coming in here, gentrifying it with their goddamn towers. Fucking keep.

Magic towers. Putting out with their dark sandals. The dark sandals. Now when he, when she leaves, I mean, she's matched, doesn't like this guy saying, such a terrible thing about a boyfriend. She leaves and he says, crazy ass cow.

But my question, do you think he might have said crazy ass cow? Like how do you think he pronounced that in his mind? I think he said crazy ass cow as in like a descriptor. I also think that's perhaps unfair of him, but it's not wrong because she hears him she hears Kyle call Mickey a slur She gives him a little chewing out and then immediately turns and starts screaming Mickey hang on baby I'm coming for you as though he's been shot with an arrow somewhere and she sprints off Screaming that to nobody this prompt. It's true. She's crazy.

She is a maniac. I don't know if she's really has cat. I've done. She might be an animal. But that might like just be her species. We will women are all cows are an impose as we will find out in the next panel, next panel. Kathy also yells at Kyle. Really like to use the word cow was really.

It tells her to be a reader. They're like to use the word cow. It's really. It tells a real. Two, three of readers, they're not dodging the word bitch. That makes a lot of appearances. Yeah. Thank you. So she's a nympho also. And so if you're counting 100% of the females that have shown up in this comic book are sex crazy first and only as their personality traits.

1987. 1987, baby. That's how you, that's how you know it's good writing like, oh, oh these women are horny. This is for adults. Now this next page, I thought I had a stroke. This was really difficult to interpret what was supposed to have been happening here.

Let's take it panel by panel. She yells at Kyle. He says, get the hell off my back, Nympho. She says, who the hell are you, dot, dot, and then they become the universe? Right. They get what's not clear about that. They get last starfighters or Armada. I'm sure that's a more teleported. They get like's not clear about that they get last starfighters or our modded. I'm sure that's a more telephoto They get like teleported yeah Is this what visual shorthand for teleportation looks like to you?

Well these people are being Live on fire by cosmic energy. Yeah, they're being shot with like the Star Wars Reagan space system Like it's like we understand it now. I like I get what's happening having read through the issue in a half, but again, there was like this has had no frame of reference for this before this moment. So nobody's been teleported away like this. Like, no bullshit. If I was to read this with no word bubbles, I would think that they're being like hit with the laser, like, it races them from all multiverses in all time. Like they're being hit with some sort of ultimate erasing ray. Because they become silhouettes that you see

the star through and then there's fire all around them and multiple laser beams firing out of their chests as they pose dramatically. If that's teleportation, it looks like it hurts a lot. They are teleported to a mysterious star-based space station. It's not really. It probably, it's as good as Guesses' any. DD sees Mickey, chained into it can only be a man-milking machine. I was so excited to tell you guys this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, trying of Mickey who is, it's a man.

I'm going to do my best to describe what he's wearing. He's like, he's got this turbo belt around his waist that it's also manacles that are holding his elbows to his side. And then there's a further set of like gauntlets on his wrists that are hand-milkers. They look like super long vacuum cleaner nozzles. And then he has two other little vacuum cleaner nozzles cuffed around the top of his boot cuffs. And he's wearing a deep V body suit.

And he's saying slow down, he's wearing a deep V body suit and he's saying slow down babe and listen to this We have the power to change the world right. He's not a prisoner apparently Well, he's not a prisoner. He's just in the milking machine It's just the idea of what may be laugh is that the idea of whatever it is he's wearing is the power to change So good get in snooker bag. I can't. It's not what it looks like. Okay, it is a sex thing, but like it's helping people. Well, her first reaction, if you didn't already see this, and you would see this

and immediately assume this is the sex thing, because the only thing this specific array of manacles and joints can possibly do is immobilize you with your dick out. Like that's, the only thing it's doing is leaving your dick completely free. Like any good soup. Finding the rest of you. And she immediately knows this. Like her first line when she sees him is,

oh my God, Mickey, why are you dressed like that? What are you hooked up to? Are you serious, Han, hooked are you dressed like that? What are you hooked up to? Are you serious, Han? Hooked up to something like that. So this is not the first time. Yeah, she's like, I've caught you in a lot of weird sex contraptions. We talked about this. Right, the fact that she says, are you serious means that her first thought wasn't somebody

has done this to him. Right. Yeah. Like, are you seriously doing this again? And his first thought is slow down, babe, and listen to the way he has the power to change the world. We have the power to change the world. I know you've caught me like this before, and I know I've said we have the power to

change the world before. What I said when I was in the milking machine before. He looks like he's in the beginnings of an elephant costume, right? Like he looks like he's getting ready to be in the Lion King stage production like it's He's got a skeleton like I look up And then just this is the power to change the world If you have you to cut no hot, that's what you would say to people. That's what you'd say to the paramedics. That's my only excuse for now. If I'm ever caught

in a couple of my positions. Hold on, we have the power to change the world. Slow down, babe. This is the power to change the world. Your dick is in the toaster. I know it's gonna change everything. Change the way you think about toast So he has been abducted by an alien only like in a friendly way a milking way Eileen is named Carkin and he has been monitoring earth for five hundred years I would argue it's an crazy long time to then settle heroes I Would argue it's an crazy long time to then settle The roller derby team

Too horny gross. I guess he was waiting for you guys to get it adventure across the across the breadth of history of the 500 years he observed this roller derby team Galileo Napoleon Nah these guys Franklin Delano Roosevelt. No, none of them. None of these men. But you especially that last one is not a roller champion. I thought I was onto something. Total roller champion. I thought he was close, but it wasn't a roller skate because the powers he grants them are roller skate centric, so he must have waited. He was waiting for Earth to invent roller skates. And then he was like, yes, it's time.

And we have to talk about his haircut. It's somehow, improbably, it is simultaneously a mohawk and like sunshine. Well, like what the fuck? Like 80s metal hair Inhabibly feather feather voluminous long hair kind of a mullet also a mohawk Maybe two mohawks. Yeah, I think it's two mohawks with a canyon in the middle. It's called a mohawk canyon Yeah

And he says he's been searching for pout talented people to keep the earth itself from decaying He says he's been searching for talented people to keep the earth itself from decaying. Very specific language. And the very next line is Mickey saying, well, how about a fella? So you're with me? And they say, count me and babe, me too, I'm sold. And then Kyle, that motherfucker says, I'll go for it.

For now. That's the easiest. These people just found out aliens exist. They found out. they're chosen ones. She's still hasn't got an explanation for the milking machine. No. Kyle is already planting the seeds of his betrayal.

Now, the way it's cropped, he is still in the milking machine when he says that. Just how about, how about, how about, climaxed by a robot? How about, you wanna give me, God, just 10 more seconds. Just, are you in it? Are we going to save the war? Oh, okay, I'm done.

We can go, we can go home. I would assume that they just need my seed. I would definitely not think they're going to turn me into a roller skate superhero team. I would think, I would think I would just have to spend a few minutes in the milking machine. I'm sure that's what this is and the excuse got out of hand.

So then he had to be like oh you gonna give me super powered roller skate roller skating hero would be pretty far down my list of assumptions. So he blasts him with the roller with the roller skate super power machine which increases their strength speed flexibility and endurance. End endurance. flexibility and endurance. And endurance. You have code in there. We know what this is code for. And he says, at last my task is done,

but before I go, I wish you good luck. This is right for truth and justice and never abuse your power. I'm done. I'm done. Later, assholes. I waited here for 500 years. I teleported you here. I milked you briefly. I'm good. I'm done. I'll see you as later.

That has been my part of the years. You never like Mickey Holtz and Panclair. Some will call ourselves roller force, but to the public will be called roller coasters. And this is the beginning of the greatest group of here ever. I gotta be honest. I jumped straight past hilarious when I read that. Like that's so much funnier than funny that like I just immediately knew I would be saying it for the rest of my life. The idea of calling yourselves roller force, but to the public will be called roller coasters, is like, I want to hold my daughter into the sky and be like I will call this child roller force but you the public.

The public child only know where I was roller coasters. Roller child. Why they have. Exactly. Why, why they have. See, exact same fucking name. If you name yourself roller-food force, people would accidentally call your roller-coasters just because there exists a roller-coaster in the world. Maybe just an accident. Like, what does this guy's called?

Roller-coaster or something like that? No, no, no, no, I put it all down there. Amazing. Amazing. That's the end of issue zero. Just entrance into complete insanity. I would like to take a second. This, as I said, came at the end.

It's like a 12-page preview at the end of Life Brigade 2. Craig Stormon wrote this one, Duval Stowers drew it. I would like to send you an image now. This is the author and creator of Roller Coasters. No. No. No fucking way. No.

It's not this guy. Are you serious? This guy's weird guy. It's really this guy. It's really this guy. This is Duval Stowers. This is him. That's incredible.

Also known as Superion. He was a fixture of Venice Beach in the 80s and partly responsible. Him and his roller dance troupe. For the brief roller dancing craze there, he usually obsessed with superheroes. He dressed up as Superman most often. If you could go ahead and explain each of you

in this picture in your own words. I mean, it's a dude in a cape and a black leotard with a Superman symbol on his chest, just doing some roller dance and Venice beach while crowd people watch his. You have seen this dude. Like if you've been on the internet for any amount of time, you have seen pictures of this guy. This was him. Yes, this is the... That's so crazy. I won't say it's a meme exactly, but the picture was was circulated a lot.

He's kind... He's almost a meme. Yeah, it's not quite, but... So, the rollercoasters are at least in part based on his actual crew of roller dancers on Venice Beach, which was the thing. It was kind of a big deal. They made a documentary about it called Roller Dreams. I could not find it anywhere, much like this comic book I mentioned. It's lost of time. The Mr. Mad, of course, was a real guy and leader of this troupe. There was also Sally Piano, Larry Pits, Jimmy Rich, and Terrell Ferguson, all of which sound made up, possibly. and Terrell Ferguson, all of which sound made up, possibly. They're each name funny or the less, but that there was really like, this was a crew. So in a sense, Roller Coasters is a true story.

Jesus. So they really got ambushed by a Venice Beach Wizard. He is completely fabulously roller skating. I believe some of the poses that Mickey is actually doing in the comic book are based off of pictures you'll find of him around. He's on his toes, leaning back, holding his Superman cape wide with a huge smile on his face in the middle of just gliding through his dream in front of these people in Venice Beach. It's a picture I've seen so many times. It's crazy that this is the guy. And it was clearly about his life

where the comic book is he going to make. Right. Which makes it especially insane to me that Craig Storm on a white man thought it was best if he wrote their very first appearance for continuity stake. He stepped up and he said, step aside roller skating black Superman,

I'm the one to tell this story about a roller skating black Superman. Yeah, it sounds like a wike. It sounds like a thing of wike I would do, yeah. I just couldn't even imagine saying that, that moment where you would say, like we're gonna run your comic, and he's so excited and you're like,

and I'm writing the first appearance. And he's like, what the fuck are you talking about? This is about, it's, and you even rollerskate is such a specific thing. What? What? It's a specific culture, such a specific subculture. And this guy's like, nah, I got it.

I'll write issue zero. They get ambushed by a wizard to take into space. Like that. He just wrote power rangers. See, I don't know if he came up with the, I have to assume DuVal stories came up with the premise because he loved superheroes. He was obsessed with superheroes.

So making them superheroes was part of it. Yeah, yeah. I don't know if he did the, I don't know what part, maybe some of the slurs, but what he did, he didn't write issue one, which we'll get into. To be clear, it's all insane. It's all insane. I mean, but this is madness you would expect from a roller skating black Superman. If you came up to a roller skating black Superman and were like, hey, do you want to write

me a comic book? If he didn't write this, you would be really surprised. Yeah. So we're getting into issue one, the first official issue, only official issue, roller coasters, and this one is written by Duval Stowers. So you will recognize, it's completely insane still, but it's not as like

Clumsily put together like his human brain. He might have a human brain It's a it's a weird one and it's based off of experiences that will be completely foreign to you since his whole life is Venice Beach But he's not putting symbols together with Legos and then translating them from higher glyphics into into person like Craig Stormon and then translating them from high-roglyphics into person like Craig Stormon. Well, he promises that this will be the greatest comic book ever because it takes place in the real world full of crime. I just love that this is what the real world is to him. Wizards and super heroes. He's like, this is, I'm making a gritty real comic

about relatable human experiences. You know, like roller skating and fighting crime with wizard powers. So it has another unhinged forward for a drag where he just, he babbles about insider comic news and never really gets any sort of solid meaning. He's just distracted by the next thing. He's either excited or mad about. It's got another Ford by a man named Jeff O'Hare who in his first paragraph says, listen, I'm a screenwriter.

I'm basically too good for this comic book thing. I wrote for the new gadget. The new gadget. I'm here to slum it for a while. And he continues to make all of the same spelling and grammatical errors. All of the other people do. You give Gidget a bad line and she makes a shine.

I'm not really sure if we will be publishing another issue of Dan and Roy Thomas' crime smasher, as I'm not sure they will want to continue with 5,000 copy print runs and very little money. He's just announcing that he's pissing off to his artist because he can't pay you. I promise you that's how they found out. Yeah, for sure. Oh yeah, this was the announcement that they made.

They opened this comic and were like, fucking, goddamn it. So we get into issue one of roller coasters. And we open on Mickey and his full gear roller skating down the street at super speeds. He's hoping that nobody recognizes him, but he is not wearing a mask or any. It's just his face and he's roller skating. I love that the title of this,

and they make reference to it in the text later. It's called Vultures Pray is the title of the comic, which is a Vulture is not a predator. You're implying that like somebody's dead, which would be clever if that's like you're talking about like a corpse, but the author seems to think that Vulture's hunt and that's just a fun thing to be dumb about, I guess. Look, he's never been outside of one specific roller alley in Venice Beach. His whole world is there. He can only imagine what a Vulture must be.

I suppose it's, it's like a big seagull. They're pretty thin on the ground. Like the sucks. Like a big seagull that sucks is what that is. I mean, the saying is like, you know, they do call people like Vultures if they're like, he has like part of it, right? He has like part of the spirit of it, right?

As we will see, so often. When we get to it, we'll see if he has a full understanding of what a vulture is. I don't think he does. They get part, he's right though, they get part of it, right? And then just veer off into madness. And that we call people,

vultures, people who pray on others misery. So like he's got part of it. Yes, but. And that's as much as being another writer. Vultures pray is an interesting title. And here it's just very, very wrong. So he is super speed skating through downtown, just as a commute, just to like commute from one place.

It's awesome. It's because it rules. We do one of my favorite bits of the 1980s, which is a middle-aged couple with like a horrible wife and the husband that hates every single sentence out of her mouth. His fucking what he says, like she's like, Abner, Abner, there's this man wearing a cape and skate just leaping over the car. Abner, are's like, Abner, Abner, there's this man wearing a cape and skates, just leaping over the car. Abner, are you listening? Abner?

And Abner says, yeah, Gladys, I'm taking you back to Care Unit. You've inhaled too much oxygen. What is that? What? Any part of that mean? None of that means anything. She's not wearing an oxygen tank.

He's, I guess she just came from the hospital where she, a hot oxygen too much. It's probably a second draft from Shut the fuck up, you bitch. It's very, it's very just like, I fucking hate my wife, I'm gonna crash this car. Also, like he says, I'm not wearing a mask, so no, I'm going too fast for anyone to recognize him,

but he jumps over this car and apparently a middle-aged woman that has just gotten out of the hospital and is looping on oxygen, identifies him, what he's doing this car and apparently a middle age woman that has just gotten out of the hospital and is loopy on oxygen identifies him what he's doing in his entire out. Yes, everybody can see you. Your name is roller first, not roller coaster, you're not wearing a mask. He's a world famous Venice Beach performer. He announces it's only been a week since he's been in the milking machine and then it

flashes back to the milking machine. now did anybody notice anything about the art? Oh, yeah, the milking machine milking machine is sending energy right into a stick Can't miss it. You can't miss it Blasting energy I would say into the tip of his penis. Yeah, it's that specific. It might be coming out of it That's specific. It might be coming out of it. It might be closing the circuit with the tip of his dick. It's an optical illusion. You can go either way, depending.

There are a series of lightning bolts focused on the tip of his penis as he is strapped into the milking machine. Screaming to the sky is if to say, whatever you thought you might have been wrong about in the issue zero, you were not. That is exactly what was happening. Did you guys see Ready Player One? The movie?

Yeah. Wait, yes. Do you remember when Ben Mendelssohn gets kicked in the balls in the R world, and then it shows his force feedback, sending the power to his nuts? That's what it looks like. It's exactly what it looks like. Okay, took that from this.

He's getting cyber kicked in the nuts. You know, in young adult books, they always have to let the protagonist know that they're very special boy. And I don't know if it's ever been done so ineligently is here where he's like, I am pleased that I found you and your friends, but there's something different about you, Mr. Steele. And he's just like, it seems that you and Mr. Jackson have acquired some very extraordinary abilities. And he just keeps explaining to him over and over like, no, listen, you are the special one. Everybody has superpowers, but you,

the audience insert are the special boy. Of the special boy. So it's bold, you're right. It's bold to like create seven Harry Potter's and then be like, and one of you is the Harry Potter of Harry Potter. I can't get over his Mohawk Jennifer Aniston hair. That's so beautiful. It's incredible.

You could have to get over it because he's gone very quickly. And he's dressed like the Shiar Gladiator. Shiar Gladiator. He is. That's exactly what he looks like. Yeah. I mean, they could really, it's like he did that and then he added the long hair.

Added the long hair. That's the exact same. It's just the Shiar Gladiator if he also had long hair with his mohawk. Now, he does create, Mickey is the special one, but he also gives extra powers to Kyle for no apparent reason. And Mickey is like, I think you screwed up. He's a lunatic and a bigot, basically.

And he explains this colorfully by saying, that's like giving a baby a nuclear bomb to which Carcane basically says all right see you later. You're probably on the next page. Wait it 500 years to bestow this cosmic gift and then fuck out of here. The next day one of them is like this guy is a maniac maybe you shouldn't give him that power. See. He's just like yeah I you shouldn't give him that power. See ya!

He's just like, yeah, I have nothing to do with this anymore. I have nothing to do with this. This guy might unravel the cosmos. Well, I did my job. See you guys later. So he does give him a costume, which Mickey realizes is exactly an old costume that he had. So sure enough, Carkin has been watching explicitly him and how he gets dressed.

He was waiting for roller skating to be invented. He does say it's the spitting image of the costume I wore as Thunder Skater Wildhawk. So apparently, yeah. What a backstory. What I want to recommend. I want to recommend something. Yeah. What were you before?

Were you not a superhero? Because if this is your superhero origin story what the fuck is a thunder skater wild Hawk So what were you before you know as a crime fighter what This is a roller skater possibly for the skating fact, okay Not the only time that will happen everybody here has alludes to elaborate backstories where they have alternate identities. Yeah We we do briefly see a little closer, close-up of Carkin before he leaves where we realize his nipple plates

are the yikes faces. If you- Yeah, I thought that was weird. That was a little bit weird. He tells them like, you've got right responsibility now. And it's you five who have to keep this planet from decaying. And his very next line is now that my task is done, I must depart. And even Mickey in the comic book goes what the fuck wait hold on and I'm sorry

I'm sorry wait wait wait wait are there's two unimpressed Pac-Man holding your cape on Did you just invent the fifth most popular emoji with your nipples, sir? God, you're a wonderfoot lady and he says farewell. I'll always be watching you and then flies away. His job not even starting to be done. Look at his, he have a lot to do. Look at his foot in the previous panel. Look at his right foot. The fuck is happening there?

Yeah. Yeah, he can't remember. It's like his toes are touching his shin. He's like, I want to emphasize how quickly he blasted out of there He didn't tell the other members of the team anything make he has to relay all of this So he just told me again was like all right fucking see you later tell everybody it looks like he may have even gone just straight through the ceiling Yes, you appears to have just Into space directly into space with a punch through an airplane, just a fucking delta plane.

So Mickey asks to explain to everybody, all of this Kyle loses his mind is like, why should you be the leader to which Mr. Madden, who is, as we've established 13 feet tall, puts a hand on him and says, Kyle, you couldn't lead your way out of tight pantyhose. Sit down and shut up. I don't know. I don't know.

Do you know what that means? Could you guess what that means? Maybe they were pantyhose and they're roller skating dance. True routine? Possibly. I mean, certainly. But also, why would you, why would you lead your way? Why would you lead your way? Who's he leading out of Panningos?

You're in there with somebody. That implies. We gotta get the fuck out of these Panningos. We'll lead the way. Who are you? I'm not the guy for that. Who do you need a coach at a Panningos? But also, this is very easy. I've done it many times before.

Therefore, all the criteria the saying needs. Okay, so he now has to have the idea to get the fuck out of the bannios. That's true. Just like every line is like, hold on. What are you talking about? No, we're gonna read every panel of this comic is just an incredible punchline.

Like if I had access to the people that wrote this, every time I read a panel, I be like hold on we need to sit down then we need the next panel hold on we need to sit down you need to tell me what about your human experience has led you to say this a series of words every panel is a company meeting it's not like something far I think it's very I think we take this for granted because like we know what superheroes are but um he says as I was saying we'll need I think we take this for granted because like we know what superheroes are, but He says as I was saying we'll need secret identities to battle this evil now What's the evil mentioned did is there no it's just vague vaguely said we're here to save the world or the earth from decaying from decaying Right, so that's it. So there's no reason they need secret identities, which is fine. I guess

But I just thought everything about this is weird. It's like they're going in. They're taking so much for granted while the author breaks about how it's so realistic. This is like set in our real world. It's like no, this is set in a world where everyone fucking knows how superheroes work. Yeah, the next panel is them being like this isn't some comic book shit, but anyway our suit in a space station. They're in the watch tower. We're roller skating superheroes in a space station from an alien. This is the real world.

And then he says, like, literally right after. Now we need to decide on our code names. Mr. Mad goes first. He says, I always did like Mr. Mad. So I'll be Mr. Mad from now on. Very secret. It's on your shirt. It's on your shirt. He's famously known throughout Venice Beach as Mr. Mad, so I'll be Mr. Mad from now on. Very secret. It's on your shirt. It's on your shirt.

He's famously known throughout this beach as Mr. Mad. It's also your name. It's just your name. We said you have to come up with a code name. He's literally what all of your friends call you. He said his name and he's just so big that everybody's like, yeah, that's fine. That's fine.

Kathy says I'll be pretty pink, because of 1787. That's what she said. Take what you can get. She says it fits me like fine wine, which is two different idioms meshed into one. Yeah, the song's where I'm. I wear expensive ones. Eight foot six, I'm not gonna fucking have to learn about it.

That went down like a glove. What? What? An age like a glove. Kyle says he's going to be magic K because that's a name with class. I got. I don't know. Why wouldn't you be special K? I agree. Also he's he's been that's a name with fiber. He's been dressed like ball rug this entire time. Like he's still only wearing the tiny shorts he was wearing on Venice Beach. So Mickey turns to his huge girlfriend,

Dede, and says, what's your codename? And she says, I don't know, I'm not good at codenames. I guess I'll be just like my old codename Thunderdove. What an incredible name. That is a baffling name, because that's two different ideas. Thunder dove. Right. Dub is peace. Thunder is not just gray. Yeah, exactly. It keeps stumbling into these great words. It's me like fine. Why? The light things are two different ideas. You're forcing to get the feed on the thunderdubs. I also like that she also has a former codename and it's Thunderdove. And also, she is just like Mr. Madd choosing that name.

He has a codename and she's like, no, we're just gonna go with the other one that I already have. Making most people know me as. Mickey complicates this by saying, I have an exciting name that'll put stingray to shame, implying that his nickname for whatever they do is stink We also know his old nickname is thunder scale Wild Hawk yes, and he does and that's in the process of deciding his new nickname, which is speed hoc So they must know someone named stingray and they're all like dude your fucking name is so cool Dunkin on stink maybe stingray was gonna show up in issue two.

And I think that was his name. Like maybe he has multiple. Everybody, because he's the special boy, he has... Everybody here was a superhero that we're not gonna talk about. He's sounding a superhero. He's had a few chapters in his life already. This is his third strike on the superhero tryouts. I like that Kyle's already heckling his name. He's like, that's real original steel, which brings up a good point that his original name

is kind of a superhero name already. Yeah, could be steel hawk? Oh shit, now I'm also steel hawk. Nine different types of Brad animal. He says, he holds his fist in the sky and says, in our secret costume identities will be known as roller force in the very next bubble directly not a quarter inch underneath it is Kyle thinking ass hole It's the most perfect Introducing the team name and immediately

Roller Force asshole I'm using the team name and immediately just got called out of the castle. Well, we've known as roller force asshole. But he's not done, he does go on to explain once again, but to the general world. We'll still be our go lucky selves, the popular dance skating group, the roller coasters, of course. Right, it's our ever go lucky selves. Ever go lucky, you right?

I said on actual phrase, when I should have added one extra weird word in a strange place. Impressively committed to saying these things wrong. No way. Faces, idioms, whatever. That's not people in Columbus, Ohio, talk. I know, I met one. He was dying of heatstroke, but I learned a lot.

This guy's regular life as a roller dancer is so normal to him that that's like To the general public will just be normal, you know, due to roller dance all day Yes, that's with our other codenames in the roller dancing troop. That's his default for a human I know I love it so much and that this is just his experience has had so like tainted how he sees the world that his experience has had so like tainted how he sees the world that he is writing a comic book as a roller skating Superman and who has only lived perhaps been raised in the circus of that speech. And he's like, I'm going to tell us, he has to explain what like his perception of the normal world is and that's the weirdest part of the comic book. Like a superhero shit is like whatever, but then why do you think this is the world? Yeah.

Who are these three? Why do you think you're blending it? So, so that was all in a flashback. We flash back to the current, which is where Mickey is skating just to commute through downtown where he got distracted remembering things that happened and accidentally broke the sound barrier and exploded the entire street. Right. He's skating so fast he's tearing the city down.

Now, okay. I think in a comic book, speed physics are very, very difficult thing to communicate. Sometimes the flash will do something called a flashback where he will, for example, run so close to the speed of light that his mass will approach infinity, and then he'll punch a guy with theoretically infinite mass, and really fuck him up. He can run through walls by vibrating his molecules. These are just normal. He'll run across the water. These are things that don't technically work. Also, if you think too hard about it, the flash is locked into this solitary existence

where he is alone with his thoughts for to him must seem like years and years. Like he'll say, all I can run around the earth. Like that would take comparatively to him months. I don't know how long that would take, but to everyone else it just takes a second. So I'm saying he's been slowly driving himself mad with speed. I don't think I've ever seen anything quite as stupid as this though. That I'm the kind of nerd who thinks about the shit all the time. I'm very frustrated with Flash, probably 45 minutes a day.

This guy explodes the entire street and says, I can't harp on that now. I got to put the glass back into place before the alarm's trip. Ha, ha, ha. So he puts, he just, it shows the glass. It's not like it works. It's not like, he's stopping it. He goes around, zips through and grabs all of the shards

and I guess reassembles them. And I would argue that he has to go faster than the speed of sound to do this. I think he's only accelerating to take glass out of mid-air and put it back into a shattered car window, for instance. And he puts millions of shots of glass back. Yes.

We have to go faster than the speed of light, doesn't he? Because isn't art glass break alarms like motion sensors? Yeah, he would have to at least smash the speed of light doesn't he? Because isn't art glass break alarms like motion sensors? Yeah, he would have to at least smash the speed of light if not go over to go back in time a little bit. And also, it's just not how glass works. No, you can't just set it, you can't just quickly put it, it's you put it back fast enough. It's incapable to not know that.

It never broke. Like, can't just put it back together really quickly. Is this guy's day of roller dancing so intensely just roller dancing that he's never broken glass in his life? Like that's- Or had to deal with it. He probably thought like,

if I had a little bit to deal with it, I could put that back together. Yeah. Like he's like breaking car windows to steal backpacks and he's like, you know, if I really wanted to be a good guy, I could put that glass back. So this all happens faster than you can say Arnold Schwarzenegger,

which is the thing that he says, the natural normal thing that he says. Right. He touches his magical ring. There's a magical ring now, by the way, right, which was not introduced. Yes, we're still introducing that. And that turns him back into Mickey Steel. And that is take a straight from Flash. Flash has a little ring with his costume in it.

Oh, just people know that. Yeah, just going out. And then he comes into his Mickey D Steel street clothes and his street clothes are a more conspicuous outfit than his rollercoaster style. I want to say, juggalow gambit. Like pirate gambit? Gambit in the Pirates of Penzance? Like those are jingles. I'd say four children sneaking into a rated R film. Like pervert riverboat gambler?

I don't know. Like, four kids trying to sneak into an R-rated movie but specifically dressed as a literary character. And now that he's normal, he of course has to think normal thoughts. So he thinks one more week at this phone sales job and I'll have enough money to cover my stock as well. What does that mean?

Now I'll pray that my investments don't go down the toilet. What does any of that mean? That's how a child thinks of money. Yes, that's how a child thinks of like a grown-up job. Like everybody that has a grown-up job like phone sales. Phone sales? Surely they have stock assets that they just need enough money to cover them, and they need enough money to cover them. Otherwise, their investments will go down to twice. He's got some penny stock investment ideas. He doesn't understand a single part of any of that, of any part of the normal world.

Like if you asked him, like how the inertia of roller skate wheels works, he would be in his element. But right now you asked him, like, what does employment look like? And this is what he came up with. The phone sales. A money job.

For stocks. A money job. But you pay for the stocks, otherwise they take your investments. And that's how you get your compensation at your phone sales job. What's crazy is that he doesn't make his money as a roller coaster. Like, it's just inconceivable that you would ever make a single dollar doing roller dancing.

So he's given this guy a telemarketer job, which is where you make the big bucks. Which is where you make the stock box. Like he does not think like a person. Once again, it is now Mickey has the challenge of sneaking to his room To not wake up his family Okay, as he puts that as I plunge into the sea of darkness I come upon and then he creaks a floorboard a floorboard and goes What the hell was that? This is what I'm talking about. That's an insane word bubble

Like if you were walked into a room a dark room and thought as I plunge into the sea of darkness I come upon a like that's an insane word bubble. Like, if you were walked into a room, a dark room and thought, as I plunge into the sea of darkness, I come upon a, like that's awesome. I can't tell if like, it's supposed to be like, ironic, like Mickey is like making a joke to himself and then he steps on a floor board and spooks himself. So it's like, ah, he's just a big frayedy cat. How would you know that?

How would you possibly know that? There's no way we could know that. I'm just, I'm trying to just give this the biggest benefit of the death that I can't try to decode what this could mean. No, it's all, it's all complete madness. So he gets to his room, he flips on the television and finds out that a drug lord has been killed and they do have a composite sketch of the criminal. And then the news shows a black outline of a person

with only the fur boots. Yeah, fur boots. Yeah, fur boots. Graven Hunter got him. Like nude skinny craven. Yeah. The wearing, no, it's because it's all black. It's a pure black silhouette.

There's no hair, there's no clothes on it. It's just like a generic silhouette of a man done in all black wearing fantastic little fur boots. And then Mickey looks at that and says, great, some description, they might as well be chasing a black ink spot with fur. Yes, that's exactly what that is though. Yes, what you're chasing.

They might as well be chasing that. Maybe this pays off and that turns out to be one of their villains. We'll never know. And therefore, it is just one of many small, insane moments stacking up together because it is not paid off in this comic. Well, I want to point out something.

I hear when he's throwing out a little newspaper, if you look at it, it says the National Blabber, Alvin on Helium, the real story. He's hooked and it's a little drawing of Alvin from Alvin in the chipmunks. There's a couple of gags like this hidden in the background. There's more so in the police station that we're about to see.

I just wanted to call that out. So he falls asleep, he's moking up by his little sister, Davina and she wants them to walk her to school. And he doesn't understand why she would want to go to school, what friends are, where they come from, how you interact with them. He's asking her complete starman questions. Like, I don't know, like Sam Beckett leapt back into a body in the 1950s,

and he's like, yeah, so what is, what are we doing? What are we, what are we, what are we, what are we, what are we, what are we, what are we, what are we, what are we, what are we, what are we, what are we, what are we, what are we, what are we, what are we, what are we, what are we, what are we, what are we, what are we, what are we, what are we, what are we, what are we, what are we, what are we, what are we, what are we, what are we, what are we, what are we, what are we, what are we, what are we, what are we, what are we, what are we, what are we, what are we, what are we, what are we, what are we, what are we, what are we, what are we, what are we, what are we, what are we, what are we, what are we, what are we, what are we, what are we, what are we, what are we, what are we, what are we, what are we, what are we, what are we, what are we, what are we, what are we, what are we, what are we, what are we, what are we, what are we, what are we, what are we, what are we, what are we, what are we, what are we, what are we, what are we, what are we, what are we, what are we, what are we, what are we, what are we, what are we, what are we, what are we, what are we, what are we, what are we, what are we, what are we, what are we, what are we, what are we, what are we, what are we, what are we, what are we, what are we, oh, Mickey, you're to the curb, which I don't, it's not an expression. Nobody says that. I don't think that was a thing. Nobody says that. And if it was a thing, I can't imagine. If you're a roller dancer, that sounds like something you would say though.

You're right. That is like, you're fucked. Like you run into the curb. You have to live your life between those curves Mickey you're to the curb you're insane you've gone insane That's what a roller-dance you're absolutely right. This is roller-dance or tainting. Yeah, the normality roller This is roller dance talk. You got it. It's just roller-talk. Hey roller-talk. You're seagull poop You're like all right cuz uh like the um he lives among the seagull poop You're like, oh right, because uh... It's like the um...

He lives among the Seagull Poot. Because you... Because you live in a 50 foot square area of Venice Beach. It's like the karaoke slaying and duets. It's K-talk, baby. A couple of shadows. It's just Rolla Talk. It's a little bit of Rolla Talk.

Uh... So she says, Would you go talk to my friend and he says, Haven't you heard that old saying 13 will get you 20? Are hero. Are hero everyone? 13 will get you 20. And then we pen over to a person

who is clearly an adult woman. Yeah, they've known each other for many years. It sounds like. Mm-hmm. And she's also wearing a Native American jacket. Yeah, she's got like a Janice Joplin, like Fringe leather vest on her. Like that's what it is, a French vest.

Yeah. And we're burying the lead that she is joyously leaping with her arms overhead, about seven feet in the air. Screaming ain't no stop in us now. And then she turns and sprints head on in front of like a speeding bar. Because that's what they thought drugs were.

And that's what like a very square person thought drugs were. I would argue you should know what drugs are as a roller dancer on Venice Beach. There's absolutely no way that that guy didn't know what drugs were. But this is how he chose to depict them in this comic book. Mickey sees this and he thinks exactly these words. Good God that dizzy cow is running towards that spring car.

That's again, every time we see a woman do everything, you think, fuck it's stupid cow. So the guy in the car sees her grinning and sprinting into his hood. He veers off and crashes and she says, ain't no stop, ah, ah, ah, ah, and then he's little sister screams, ah, ah, ah, this is so, the panel to panel work is so bad that I wasn't shifts, she got hit by the car or not,

because it seems like she's dying from something else. Like she's not being, she is, she's having an overdose. Okay, so the cart did it. But it's really unclear, you're right. It's just bad timing, okay. It's just bad storytelling. Also the sound effect he chose for the guy slamming on his brakes is clupa.

Clupa, clupa screen, ain't a stop egg, I. Like this is, that's the series of, but guy says what the hell? Clupa, screen, ain't no stop ag, IE. Like this is, that's the series of, the guy says what the hell, clupa, scree, ain't no stop, ag, IE. That's like four pounds, all the information you have for four panels are all, so put together clupa, whatever that series of, I'll be a great sound effect

if you kick someone in the dick with a roller skate, but I don't buy it for a break. No. I think that's like, maybe if a horse was roller skating, that would be great. That's how I would communicate that. For sure. That's what's named the roller skating horse.

Oh, you're right. To the public. To the private public. He's roller horse. To the public. To the private public. He's roller horse. To the public.

To the public. To the public. To the public. To the private public. He's roller horse. There's so many holes. Ah. So she's overdose, Mickey runs out and it starts giving her mouth to mouth, which also, this is not how that works. And then he says, now a little chest massage to revive the heart. What the fuck? What's his hand?

His flat and rubber tits. And starts motorboding them with his hand. A little chest massage to revive the hearts. It's so fun. That's what he thinks for a state is. And he thinks CPR, if you grab a girl's titties and you slap them back and forth and say, he's doing abracadabra hand.

Like that's it. He's not doing CPR. He's holding her up with one arm and then just like washing her titties with his other hand. Slap them titties back and forth and this works, she comes back to life. You know, if I could have a day like Stanley used to work with the artist and he'd have them draw and then he would just sort of fill in the word bubbles of what was clearly happening on the fights and stuff. What happened here might be something like that. Like the author found the artists like pornography and he's like, okay, this is mouth to mouth and you know, he's recessed, titting over his hand. When in fact, he was just

making out with a dead woman and then grabbing her titty. I'm just, I'm just throwing it out there. This might be the mighty Marvel manner. Like any number of theories are correct. Take it in a roller disco direction. The actual intent that he is performing CPR is illegible. Like you would never get that from this. No, you would get this man, this man hates tits and wants them off her body. Right. It's like he's trying to wash them off. Yeah. Get these tits off. Get these tits out of here. I guess that's what I'm saying is that the author and the writer having a, Right, he's trying to wash them off. Get these hits off. Get these hits out of here. I guess that's what I'm saying is that the author and the writer, the author and the

artist, they're very big disagreement about what's actually happening with his panel. They're at war. Well, also, plaid is the hardest thing to draw. This guy's making you supposed to be wearing a plaid shirt and it just looks like... Wavy on top. It's chaos. Like, Sioux Bowl is having a really bad day. Like, he committed to this and it's just like, fuck, this is so hard.

It's not complicated. A Dan Flash, this shirt would be fucking $4. This is not a complicated pattern. So, so he turns to his sister and is like, is this like, is this like her at all? No, no, she's too clean cut to mess with stuff like this unless someone pushed her into taking it, which is likely to happen nowadays.

I just like that he's telling us the 1987 reader that drug pushing happens. As though every single comic book isn't about that. But he also hasn't seen this woman in like 10 years or something. So he's still like, no, no, no, she was a sixth grader when I knew her, she'd never do drugs But he hasn't moved like he's still clearly living in this neighborhood. Yeah But he's just somehow going and like it seems like his sister asks him to walk her to school with some regularity

So he's just somehow managed to avoid this person for 10 years avoid this person for 10 years. It keeps a lot of fun. It's not every day she dances into traffic. It's just when she does coke and smokes a blunt. So her little brother runs up and says, she's tripped out on drugs and points directly across the street to where the drug dealers stand. That guy did it. That guy did it and we can see him. He's 10 feet away.

I'm giving them the drugs. They do it here. They run in front of a car and then I stand there going, oh, he says, he says, say, I want to talk to you. The drug dealer says, me no speak English and runs away into the woods as drug dealers are want to do.

Mickey is very concerned that his invulnerable body will crush this drug dealer, so he dive tackles the drug dealer and then rears back to punch the red. So he hits them with his entire body. Fire flying body and then rears back a fist where he learns she's a giggle girl. I don't know why we had to specify it like that because it does not pay, we cut out of that scene straight to the police station. Mickey is so amazed that it's a girl.

And that's really floors him. We're into the police station now, which the police detective is a hacky. Hacky, they seem to call him, is threatening, is threatening the girl drug dealer with a, with another slide. I dare you to read that word bubble. I'm not reading that.

Okay. I will say there's obviously a trope when, when someone goes to prison. Yeah. So it's that, but it's a girl. And so he says your butt is gonna be political slurs delight at Silmar. And I would argue this does not make sense. I would argue that like in an all female prison

that they don't do a ton of butt stuff sexual assault. I'm not saying it's never happened. I'm just saying it's a weird threat to make. It's like a last minute minute correction where they're like, oh, I got a great idea. Oh, not how this cop could threaten this fucking suspect. And they're like, yeah, but it's a sex girl. You know what I think it's not gonna work?

It's still gonna do the butt stuff. I think you know what? Butt stuff has never failed me. It's gonna be classics. I asked for a supplier. She says, Pee, wait her men because she's a tough woman in the 1980s. These are such great pop culture references. And so Mickey is still there apparently helping the cops, even though this is the very

second, they have not done, I want to emphasize this, anything as a superhero. He's been, he blew up like a city block as he was skating to his soul. And the only thing they've done is he put the glass back. Anybody's soul action of this five-person roller skating superhero team has been him exploding a street and putting it back. And he is now qualified to go on investigations with the police because we just forgot. So he's wondering like, why? Why? She's only 12 years old. Why would she be selling drugs? And the detective says, as though this is a revelation, money! You would expect the 80s comic to say like, oh, she's been corrupted.

College credit. No, it's. but, but no, he's accurate. They are doing that for the water doing it from the water. Correct. That's a, that is what they are doing. Another, another fucking, there's such a series. This cop has such a series of misunderstandings of human phrases. He says those drug dealers are spending money

as if it were ice water. I have that in my notes. Yeah, that's, I don't even have a guess as to what like money as if it were ice water. I have that. My notes. Yeah, that's. I don't even have a guess as to what like, do you spend ice water? Do you spend ice water easily? I don't. I guess if your roller dance or I've been at speech, like ice water's got to be a really precious resource.

You're right. He's saying it's when you say something flows like water. It means it's an abundance. So if it's an abundance So if it's ice water, which is the most refreshing Again, that's money mixing is metaphors. Yeah, that's what money is money is to I think Sean's right It's the barter system money is ice water in the roller dancing finish I think it's just if you're on roller skates and you don't have a shirt on you go into a restaurant So hey, can I have a cup of water? They're like get the fuck out of here and so it's just if you're on roller skates and you don't have a shirt on you go into a restaurant and say hey Can I have a cup of water? They're like get the fuck out of here

And and so it's Oh, that must be that must be what money is that's my only that's my only reference to what money might be He's also drops in the line and so the vulture has his prey which again Amazing in context shown is, that means nothing. And so he says, bingo. And so the vulture has his prey. Like how a vulture will find prey and then turn that prey into a vulture. That's how the animal kingdom works.

And then make that prey sell drugs for it. Drugs kill. He goes on this rant, and then he goes to interview the drug dealer, 12 year old drug dealer, only to find that somebody has signed her out by leaving just a piece of paper on another cop's desk that says, I'm Betty Crocker,

signs her out, it says the words Betty Crocker, and sign her out, and he goes, what the, somebody forged my name on these papers. Detective Betty Crocker. No. You gave me a paper earlier and said you were Betty Crocker. So he is so disappointed in his belief staff that he literally backhand this other detective. I want to say eight feet across the place. He is airborne. He's flying through the air.

His chin is dead. His man is dead. And he screams, you butthead. And the biggest lettering that we've seen thus far in this comic, it's like he is screaming this from the depths of his soul. You butthead is the last thing this man heard before he was confined to a life in a wheel of jamb. His brain is slapped out of his soul. You butthead is the last thing this man heard before he was confined to a life in a wheelchair.

His brain got slapped out of his ear. It's fucking completely dead. The next panel is incredible because the story's moving now, right? Like there's some sort of a criminal mastermind that can get anyone out of jail that's selling drugs. So let's keep this shit going. We don't want to lose some momentum.

As Hackie is leaving, some woman, I assume she's a prostitute. Or maybe she's another cop who works there. I don't know. She says, gonna get stroked Hackie. He says, get a job, bitch. So I guess she's not a prostitute. She's just an unemployed woman.

Ask people if they're gonna go get a hand job as they leave buildings. And then he walks out there and he let's just fists together and they're trembling. He's drawn trembling lines. So he's literally quaking with rage as he screams to the sky, what kind of chicken department am I running here? You know those chicken department that's what you call the Color Man something's bad you say you say this is chicken Chicken

Chicken Department it feels like a roller dancer knows how fucking police station works They've seen this the inside of one before, they know how the police hutch in Venice Beach works. It's what they know. Which to be fair could have been like an old chicken coop. That could be. Yeah. They could have called it the chicken department. I just, there's so much going on there. He goes back and he screams, nobody leaves this room. He's locking down the police station, even though the person they wanted to arrest is very firmly gone and all that is left

are police officers. We cut a bitch in, a truly bitch in Trans-Am, just speed-nast across LA. It's Carrie, who is the secondary drug dealer who has gotten the 12-year-old girl out. And he says, hey, Ice, check this fist full of green stuff out and holds out a palm full of money. I guess that is, we call money green stuff. At least I understand where that one came from.

Yeah. Right? That's just overriding. You know, it's a- But then he says, she asked where it came from and he says, detective Kerwin, that man's soul is so corrupt, Pope John couldn't save him. You know, which is the thing that people say.

Not something I think a drug dealer in LA would say. Unless, there are Catholic, I'm sorry, there are Catholic drug dealers. You're right.'re a Catholic, I'm sorry, they're Catholic drug dealers. You're right. You're right. I'm being bigoted. There's another slur here. I'm so glad the author's black.

Yes, if this was in, I was really a lot of half of this. But Duval Stoward did write this one. He is a black man. So when she says, and word please, I don't think her character was supposed to be black. I think she was supposed to be maybe Latino in earlier panels.

Maybe. It's impossible to know. What we do know, we've got to an abandoned roller rink, which is of course, where the roller coasters, I'm sorry, roller force, led by stingingray White.

No, it's Windhawk. Wait, no, no, that was the Thunder Skater. It's speed, speedhawk. Speed, Mickey? Speed, Mickey. Yeah, speed, Mickey. Sealhawk, Sealhawk, Speed, Mickey. Mickey, quick.

So they have made their headquarters at a band and roller r rink only it's not cool It's all fucked up and they can't fix it, but it's also filled with alien machinery Wait, here's another slur there's another slur in this panel. Why that long-haired arrogant ass Slur do who's even talking about? Mickey Mickey, okay, so once again, we are calling Mickey the F-Wars Yeah, it's really fixated on this Mickey the self-stand in for Duval Stowers the roller skating black Superman calls himself

The slur for the f-word quite a bit Uh, I don't know what to make of it. I don't know. Maybe it's just reflective of his of his life on Venice Beach But that's Kathy that's Kathy this time saying it. So we do have many, many big hits and racist on the scene. It might be one of his nicknames. It might be. It's 1987. But this, my favorite pop ghost references here

is this, okay, that's when we went total apeshore. Then he called the casting director of the show and he told him, if you want animal acts, call them fat boys. Hey. So the setup to that is that, uh, Kathy called the tonight show and booked herself as pretty pink. Uh, even though nobody knows who that is and the note she has done nothing. Pretty pink has never, as far as we know, left this building. Nothing. Pretty pink has never, as far as we know, left this building. But the tonight show was like, yes, of course, roller skater from Venice Beach.

You're on the tonight show. Mickey called them back and said, if you want animal acts, call the fat boys. Is that a fat boy? Slam? What does that mean? Why are they animal acts? I did make a lot of weird noises.

Some of them. Why is he bringing the fat boys? What did the fat boys do? I don't understand. I don't get it. That's why I like it. It feels like deep with madness. So Kyle loves it.

Kyle fucking loves it. He says he's never seen Mickey so pissed. What did you stroke him the wrong way with a brillo pad? And this we need to pause for an editorial footnote. D.D.'s boyfriend is speed hocks the editor. The second editor. The editorial note is like, they, oh hold on, the readers might not know who's getting the terrible hand job here. Yeah.

I need to explain. It's important. We want them to be picturing the terrible hand job here? Yeah. I need to, it's important. We want them to be picturing the terrible hand job correctly. Right. Because you need to be seeing the right dick in their mouth. The pink side has a grain to it. You need to stroke the right way on the penis. And what she did was the opposite, also with a brillo pad. So it's twice as bad.

Twice as bad. She hits this so much. She kicks him in the ass so hard that he flies into a pile of glass. It looks just right through the tecma drum. It looks like his face, the wig and draw it. It looks like his face is destroyed. Like they draw the impact point. It's face is all dead. It is seen. Also, I do believe because the comic book is coming to an end and it was not continued, this is the last we see of Kyle. So he does die. Defrontents and purposes, he is dying.

For all of them, that's a perfect- Last appearance of Kyle. He is shredded to death. She, he makes a joke about her giving a bad hand job and she kicks his face into a pile of glass and he dies. We find Mickey in a different milking machine, very different milking machine thinking to himself the nerve of that sex crazed cow.

Who is he talking about? Kathy, I guess. Sure. We can only be one of two people. They both sex crazed. This is, okay, all we're presented with. We don't know what this machine is. It's a different machine.

We are presented in multiple occasions with Mickey getting stressed out and then going into a milking machine and just thinking things to himself and Fury. And he thinks he gets so frustrated that he destroys this, perhaps his last milking machine. I'm assuming it's an important piece of alien tech. He completely explodes it.

Dede comes in and says, I heard on nicotine fits before, but this is ridiculous. Can the jokes, Deutre? I'm in no mercy mood. Like, it's clearly a punchline he might have heard on cheers or something, but you have to have somebody that smokes to use that on.

It's pretty important. There's no setup for that. She comes in and uses the setup for a smoking joke. For like when a smoker is grumpy. On an alien roller skater who is just destroyed his man-milking machine. I've heard of it because of the draw before. So she asks how the kid is doing, the overdosing teen, and he says, the doctor tells me she's been doing drugs for four years. So I guess she wasn't that clean cut.

Too clean cut for this. He laments, and I want to say here, these are very clearly supposed to be teenagers, right? This whole crew is supposed to be like, I want to say 19. Seems right. Yeah. He laments, what the hell is happening with these kids today and she says, I don't know, hun, I've been trying to answer

that question for quite some time, like 60 year old grandparents. Also, also his, both of their faces. Yeah, his face in this, for this panel and just this panel alone, his face transforms into Walter Cainic. Yeah, it's also kind of a sad orangutan. A little bit of Marlon Brando in there too. Marlon Brando, orangutan.

So let's tell him the cops are doing something. He loses his goddamn mind. It says, that's a laugh. Those bozos will let anybody go. Uh, there's, they're all dirty. And then clenches his fist and says, I'm just going to read the whole bubble. He clenches his fist and says, this is the reason why Carkin created us to fight for truth, justice and the American way. And if that means fighting every elected

official in the country, so be it! To be continued, that's the last time. No, it won't. Yes. Absolutely will not. Holy cow. So, okay, there's still a little bit more with that. There's a few things wrong with that, and the first is that is not why Carcane created you. He also didn't create you. He gave you some superpowered suits. He then told you to fight the decaying planet not to fight for fight drugs in the honor of America. And also goddamn what a tragedy this was not continued because the next issue surely must be about this invincible roller dancing teenage troop beating the holy shit out of every single mayor in the country just going around and fucking roller stopper.

Roller stopping on the mayor. I don't care. It is a dog. Your small town elected a dog because you thought it'd be cute. We're gonna roll roller stop your dog. To day your mayor dog dies. It's just, that's what the rest of this comic is gonna be. The Fultures Pray. Turn on the boom box. I can't fight without my music.

Just really beating the Christ out of a lot of school superintendents. So that's it. That's fucking roller coasters. That was the last issue that ever was. So we have to assume it was about the rest of the series was going to be about These roller dancing teens just killing congressman over and over hope so I'm the first! In the podcast, can I ask you a favor? We'll make a maximum of them! Dog Frankfurt Podcast, connect! Yeah!

The craft is neutral, it's an honor! Shoot the end of Honda Zone, Dior and Astunda! Cupshawn, you kids in the wild! I'm the first! I'm the first! I'm the first! I'm the first! I'm Stagwooder, Frankfurt! I'm Stagwooder, Frankfurt! I'm Stagwooder, Frankfurt!

I'm Stagwooder, Frankfurt! Yeah, 9,000! It's Hot Dog Junction, America's last comedy, children's variety, trivia, Peahaw laughing for Christ. Now here's Robin Markey. Thanks, Yodel and Julius. I'm Robin.

My friend Markey here wants to tell you all about the supremeous cats this side of Job 410. Take it away, Markey. Aaron Crosston. Adrian H. Aaron Rowe. way, Markey. Aaron Crosston. Adrian H. Aaron Roweight. Alpha Fahazep's Jawa.

Alpha Syla. Alpha. Alpha Scientist Jawa. Aaron D. Aaron D. Aaron D. Aaron D. I don't know! It's Benjamins' Sirenin! Uh-huh!

I'm an Encarlo! I'm Seller! I'm a Rital! Seller! Seller! I'm a Haldanger! I'm a Corotiner! Clementine Danger? Climbing high, danger! Climbing high, danger! Climbing high, danger!

There, there's a commentary. A regular noise! Files! Pandee! Daring the wrongs for free! Take it slow! Game costal! Risen!

Toss your red total! Eric Freedom! Every save! Russian! Russian rock, soul! Eric, freedom! Every word! Russian rock! Don't really good! Here is Jellahoe! I'm cutting him! Hamloon!

Harapoh! Harapoh! Harapoh! Harapoh! Harapoh! Hi, I'm a heavy heavy heavy heavy heavy heavy heavy heavy heavy

heavy heavy heavy heavy heavy heavy heavy heavy

heavy heavy heavy heavy heavy heavy heavy heavy heavy heavy heavy heavy heavy heavy heavy heavy heavy heavy heavy heavy heavy heavy heavy heavy heavy She's Lloyd! Joseph R. Esther! Joseph Sultor!

John Hain! John Hain! John Hain for! Joseph Sourles! Josh Pess! Josh Walker! And Faisal! Kevin M!

Fiery Fitch Lisa! And John Hisha Fulf! And John Hisha Fulf! Who are they? It's Lisa. And Jaihi Shafal. And Jaihi Shafal. That's enough. Half-royd. Half-royd. Half-royd.

No color. I feel orange. No colors. I feel orange. No colors. No colors. No colors. No colors.

No colors. No colors. No colors. No colors. No colors. No colors. No colors. No colors. No colors. No colors. and talker, loves you and you, me, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, use their hearts, okay? Rachel, Brianna, Sparckowski, Sean Chase, Scottie, Rasefin, Silverna, Antim, Eddick, Hush, Hush, Hush, Hush, Hush, Hush, Hush, Hush, Hush, Hush, Hush, I think don't do it, don't do it, don't do it, don't do it, don't do it, don't do it, don't do it, don't do it, don't do it, don't do it, don't do it, don't do it, don't do it, don't do it, don't do it, don't do it, don't do it, don't do it, don't do it, don't do it, don't do it, don't do it, don't do it, don't do it, don't do it, don't do it, don't do it, don't do it, don't do it, don't do it, don't do it, don't do it, don't do it, don't do it, don't do it, don't do it, don't do it, don't do it, don't do it, don't do it, don't do it, don't do it, don't do it, don't do it, don't do it, don't do it, don't do it, don't do it, don't do it, don't do it, don't do it, don't do it, don't do it, don't do it, don't do it, don't do it, don't do it, don't do it, don't do it, don't do it, don't do it, don't do it, don't do it, don't do it, don't do it, don't do it, don't do it, don't do it, don't do it, don't do it, don't do it, don't Thomas Kavatsos! Thomas Kavatsos! Thomas Kavatsos!

Thomas Kavatsos! Thomas Kavatsos! Thomas Kavatsos! Thomas Kavatsos! Thomas Kavatsos! Thomas Kavatsos! Thomas Kavatsos! Thomas Kavatsos!

Thomas Kavatsos! Thomas Kavatsos! Thomas Kavatsos! You'll see, and the last but not least, who told you? Vee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee- I'm just going to do a fast real fast. There you go! I'm going to turn you hell. I'm going to fuck this. I'm going to go eat some kids.