The Dogg Zzone by 1900HOTDOG - Dogg Zzone 9000 - Episode 15, Hot Dog Nights: Megan Wants a Murderer, Part 1

Episode Date: March 24, 2021

Seanbaby and Brockway cast Eddie Doty on his ability to bring chaos to the house as they watch an old reality show that secretly harbored an actual murderer! Brockway doesn't know who the murderer is, and you're not allowed to tell him! Even if they're right behind him!

One nine hundred hot dog. Hot dog. One nine hundred hot dog. Hot dog. Out of podcast slams with maximum hype. Say hot dog podcast word. Yeah. Yeah.

When you taste that nitrate power you're in the dog zone for an hour. Come on. You know the number. One nine hundred. One nine hundred hot dog. One nine hundred hot dog. One nine hundred.

One nine hundred hot dog. One nine hundred hot dog. One nine zero zero zero. Yeah. Nine thousand. Welcome to the dog zone. Nine thousand. I'm your host TV's

Sean Davy from the internet and with me is my hilarity partner Robert Brockway. Robert Brockway here. Just not from anywhere. I'm just being present in the moment today. You're selling yourself short. You're everywhere at once. And we all love you. Our guest today

is a dear old friend of mine. He's a martial arts expert. He's a television editor. He's a television director and producer. Recently at Twitch producer of critical role editor of the surreal life. Rock of love.

Maybe not. Flavor of love at least. Flavor and rock. Flavor and rock and thrill. Long, long series of credits. Any dodie. Welcome to the dog zone. It's so good to be here. I've been seeing the theme song in preparation all day. That is also the first time

anyone who has listed my credits put a critical role next to the surreal life. That is an absolute first. One after the other. It has frightening implications. That's all I'm going to say. It was never meant to go together. But now it's unlocked the portal.

I forgot a few high profile gigs. What are a couple that I should have mentioned that I didn't? You're either proud of or give me one you're very proud of and one you're very embarrassed by. Absolutely. I'm very proud of launching most recently at Twitch.

I launched the AMC Walking Dead channel and the channel for complex. I'm very proud of those. That was a fun thing. One I'm less proud of probably would be editing. It was a not great one.

What about Say Yes to the Dress? I didn't do Say Yes to the Dress. I did a knockoff of Say Yes to the Dress called Something Borrowed, Something New. It was bad. The one I was less proud of

was the Carney Wilson docu-series or a reality show I did. Carney Wilson and Staple. There we go. That was horrible. She had just had a gastric bypass? No, she had had gastric bypass and she had slimmed down

but then she had a kid and then she just stopped caring about that sort of thing. So it was less about that it was just more about she's trying to figure out what her career was. It was on a game show network. It was like the companion

reality show. We had to work hard to find any kind of story whatsoever. She was doing Diamond Dallas Page Yoga. We had an episode with DDP. He's fun. He's fine.

He's totally fine. I said fun, but yes, fine too. He's fine. If you're listening to DDP, what's up, fella? Fun and fine. Double F. We just had to work so hard to make any kind of story out of that thing.

And now you'll never work on the game show network again. You've burned it forever. You fool. I think I'm okay with that. That's kind of okay. We can obviously keep any of this off the record but I remember you were telling me a story about Christopher Knight's show

when he was, I think you edited a show and it was after he was dating Adrian Curry. They were married. They were married and he came to you at a party and you're like, hey, I'm editing your show and he's like, yeah, fucking good luck with that because it was playing like civilization for a year. That's exactly right.

No, it was like a post-holiday party. Yeah, I did. I did my February season three. I was the lead editor on my February season three. It was, I was excited about it. I was excited because I like Adrian and I think, and I actually ended up working with Adrian later

on another show. She was actually producing for a little bit. And she was nice, but yeah, that's exactly what happened. He was also kind of into his cups and he just sort of shook his head because they bat shot it in three different time periods and it was all out of order

and we had no ending. We literally had no ending to the series whatsoever. Did they try to set anything? I know in a lot of reality shows, especially Flavor of Love and some of the shows we've talked about today, they had a lot of activities. They're like, we're going to go to this place and it's just wall-to-wall activities

and then they just cut 20 minutes out of what must be hundreds of hours of silly nonsense. Yeah. This seems like they just stuck a camera in Christopher Knight's house and they would just go about your day and we'll figure out how that's interesting later. Yeah. That's exactly what I would do.

It was... You said, you fucking said, you wouldn't watch what you fucking say in my house. That's what happens. I'll drop a nuke on Gandhi, put that on fucking TV. We did like bat shooting, so we would shoot for like four weeks at a time and then go away for two months

and then come back another four weeks and just... Still on civilization. Still on civilization. Adrienne got like her boob job consult that was like the only like thing that actually happened was her recovery from her breast augmentation surgery.

So that's good TV, go in. There's like seven or eight pictures of titties. I mean, that's sex appeal everyone can relate to. Yeah. It went to Hawaii. And then the whole thing was, oh, Brady back in Hawaii. Because that was like the creative depths. That was like the bottom of the barrel we were scraping.

Like, is there some fucking pun we can like figure out with this? That one special on TV from 50 years ago. Yeah. Yeah, pretty much. And then Stephen, yeah, all he did was he likes reading history books about the place he's going to.

So the entire travel there, all he did was like read books about Hawaii on the way over there. It was pretty fun. He's a pretty compelling guy. Yeah, he sounds like a fine guy. They're not married anymore, oddly enough. Oh, that's too bad. Those crazy kids couldn't make it last.

Now you burn bridges with Hawaii too? You're just, you're a madman. Well, I think Hawaii was fine with not having the significant Brady relationship. I don't agree. Fair enough. There's going to be like some legislature passed on Oahu like barring

me from re-entry at any point. Here's what I like about Hawaii best. Beautiful tropical weather, sure. But the street signs are 700 letters long and they're all exactly the same. And I just really like that. You could just be on a corner and

have no idea where you are because it just looks like two birds screaming in different directions on the street signs. You're like, I'm completely lost. I'll never find the hotel. I'm actually studying Hawaiian on Duolingo. It's funny you mentioned all this.

I've been getting into it because I used to live in Hawaii. I went to college out there and you're right, there's 12 letters in the traditional Hawaiian language. There's the five vowels and seven consonants. Anything beyond chair or drawer requires stringing

those same letters over and over again and a series of apostrophes. There's only so many combinations you can get, it seems. It's like Chinese. It's got to keep adding a few on to the end to make a new word. Exactly. There's only so many variants you can get.

You misplace an apostrophe somewhere and it's like a completely different word. There's a lot of reverence. More than any place probably I've ever been, there's a lot of reverence for the Hawaiian culture. You go to the Hawaiian culture and they're almost like Republicans and how defensive they are about their culture

being taken away from them. Dude, this is the most this place I've ever been. You go to Hawaii, everything's Hawaiian. You're like, I'll just have a Big Mac and it comes in like a fucking pineapple and they're like, it's a Hawaiian and they're like, sing a song for you and like this is a very Hawaiian Big Mac

and then like in the same breath they'll be like, they're all taking away our culture. I'm like, guys, I think you're okay. I really think that. Well, it is a Big Mac. I mean, you've got to allow them that some concessions have been made. Also, you know, all the white people.

I agree with the genocide. I mean, they got some things to be mad about. I don't disagree with that. Yeah, no, it's funny because like there's like pre-colonial and post-colonial contacts, right? So there's like, it's funny because like you'll have like, you'll go to

because I had some friends who were local so I got to go to the houses and like meet aunties and uncles and moms and dads and everything. And so they break out like, okay, here's the Ulu, here's the breadfruit, here's like the poi, here's all these two jars of mayonnaise. We put two jars of mayonnaise on every dish.

Yeah, that's exactly. And then the spam and then like you go to a McDonald's in Hawaii and there's like Portuguese sausage and eggs served at the McDonald's and that's like a Hawaiian dish. But it's like, it's literally named Portuguese sausage. Like there's no, it's not some crazy Hawaiian

like, no, it's like literal sausage brought over from Portuguese in the western contact, but they've just adopted it. But that supports my point. It's powerful that it actually invades McDonald's culture. Exactly. Which is as rigid as anything on the planet. Anyway, I'm mostly, I'm trying,

I was trying to give a pretty shitty hot take because I'm actually transitioning us into a new feature called hot take fallout. And what we do here is we take a meme from several days ago, we've all had time to process it and hate it and we're going to discuss it

and this is a perfect time to do it because I know Eddie and I fall on opposite sides of this issue and Brockway has no fucking idea what it is. We've carefully engineered this for every possible opinion. I think I know what it is and I think I may surprise you with my take, but go ahead.

I just saw some of your take on Twitter and you kind of were on the fence I shouldn't say playing both sides but you seem to have a good perspective of both sides and I'm going to be talking about the Wandavision grief meme. I don't want to spoil anything

if you haven't seen the show, it's a great show. But there's a speech where the theme of this one episode is very much about grief and Scarlet Witch is upset and the vision gives her a long speech and he's trying to help her process her grief and eventually it leads to him saying a line that goes, what is

grief if not joy persevering? And it's fine. Love persevering, yeah. If not love persevering, thank you for correction. If I was working in a funeral parlor and someone handed me that on the copy of a new pamphlet, I'd say it's a strong one. Put that in the maybe pile.

I'm saying it's fine. If you handed me a needle point with that on it, I'd say, yeah, that makes sense. Yeah, that's definitely that's pillow level philosophy. Yeah, and so I saw this and I thought, I do, I think it's a well-written show with a lot of depth

and wit and I didn't hate that line but someone on Twitter, many people on Twitter in fact were like, oh my god, this is the greatest line I've ever seen. And the one that went viral I think said something very close to did you hear that? That's the sign of every screenwriter in the world

throwing their laptop into the fireplace and saying fuck under their breath. Like it was the most, this line was the most powerful. Oh, it's supposed to be powerful. I thought they were going to be mocking it. Right. I figured that was a mockery. Oh, the mockery is coming. The mockery is coming. Right. Okay, okay.

Because that's the internet I know. I don't know what internet you guys were just talking about. I'm not as plugged into the zeitgeist as some. I'm not extremely online. But I did get the idea that for about a day and a half we all agreed. This is a great line. Some people were a little overboard and but we like let them have it.

Also the other thing is there's a lot of like spoilery events in WandaVision. So people aren't supposed to talk about that show for a day or two. And so there's also that fallout. So people like, shut the fuck up about WandaVision. It's eight in the morning. I haven't watched it yet. And

so where they landed on this meme is after about a day and a half and that tweet went viral everyone was like, okay guys this is way too fucking far and the backlash became they made fun of people. And then the backlash came back that like, hey how dare you make fun of us. Oh, I guess we don't

fuck. We enjoyed something too fucking much. You know what I mean? So Eddie, what is your take on this meme and where do you stand in this controversy? Okay, so here's the thing. Like the line is fine. It's a B minus line. It's not entirely

to my taste. I can completely see how in all of this as I just wave wildly to the world outside the window and everything. I could see how that could mean a lot to a lot of people right now. Far be it for me to just shit in anyone's

cereal here and just be like, no, your fun is wrong. Right. So like I get that. Like I also at the same time I can think I thought it was a great episode. I thought that line was a a sturdy if unremarkable part of what was great about that episode if people reacted strongly

to that line. Cool. Good for you. And then and that was about the extent of it. It wasn't until and this is part of it where it's I'm reacting to what I specifically saw versus like what everybody else saw. So like I liked all the memes making fun of that line.

Like I retweeted one that was those two shots and it was just one to saying did you know that he is stored in the balls? Like I love I loved that classic combines a classic one. Yeah, it's a little mashup. Fun little mashup.

So yeah. And so that and I was completely fine for that to be the end of the amount of like time spent thinking about this. Well, I apologize for making you think about it. Oh, no, no, no, it wasn't you. It wasn't you. It was it was everybody

who like saw an opportunity. It's one thing to say like that line sucks or I that line is not that great. It's another thing to what I saw with people going like if you think that's good writing, you're a piece of shit. If you think that if you think that's if you think because I saw some

of that stuff and I also saw like like yeah, that's a great line except Disney's this awful corporation and you're just and I'm like, are you kidding me? Like I'm and I think I think my extent of it was like, OK, clearly the statute of limitations for liking something is three days. Like we've just

reached this inflection point in our society where you like how dare anyone have a sort of basic pedestrian sense of thoughtfulness like who cares if they haven't read like I don't know Yeats or something like that and

and don't have like the poetry of Robert Frost to articulate a line better. And that was the other thing other it got weirdly competitive. People were like, well if you think that line's good, you should you've clearly never seen this and I'm like, Jesus Christ. Like what? Why are we?

Why are we doing this? It was just so God, it just blew me away. Here's my take is maybe more aggressive than yours. I think the Internet is pretty good about regulating how vulnerable you're supposed to be. Yes. And some

people I think it's a very safe space sort of a cliche thing to say, but for the most part of someone goes on the Internet and says like, hey here's me. I'm very vulnerable. You can count on the same percentage of assholes being assholes to them than if they weren't saying 100%

100% percent. Right. So like we allow a little bit of that, but something about this was just like taking a very mediocre line a fine functional line and being so aggressively vulnerable. Like this means so much to me and in fact

it's the greatest writing and in fact everyone who didn't write it as fucking jealous and stupid and inadequate. And I think that's what it was. It was so aggressive about how powerful this was that there's no choice but to make fun of it. I don't think it

need to be a bully. I think we're born with enough bully DNA even in the kindest souls that when you see that you're like, okay I gotta fucking make fun of this person. This is ludicrous amounts of like aggressive and vulnerable. It just tied up in this belligerent package. I think everyone is right to make fun of that tweet.

I think everyone's right to make fun of people defending that tweet. So that's where I stand on. I agree. Here's the thing. I think I think it's the distinction without a disagreement because like it's also a weird chicken or anything, right? Because I saw some people have completely reasonable takes to that line going, wow, this line meant a lot to me or wow

like this. And then I saw some people were like, oh like the the laptop into the fireplace line. I thought that was like a ha ha intentionally over the top thing. And then some people took that for I did just throw my laptop into the fireplace. I did too.

I was compelled. Yeah. For completely different reasons, there's an intruder. I use my laptop to be to destroy them. So for completely different reasons, I did the same thing. And you missed and hit the fireplace? I missed and hit the fireplace. No. That's where the intruder goes when you're done.

Yeah, exactly. You just stack them vertically in the fireplace and he's good. Like it was just, it was, I don't know who there was tons of shitty people on both sides. The people who were some of the people who were defending the line were really like, is this your hill to die on this? This thing really?

Like that part to me was a bit much. But by the same token, the people who tried to draw like class warfare into it, I'm like, come on. Like this is where we might be overthinking this just a little bit in this one case. We might be wanting to leverage this like

no one's defending Disney. You can like a thing without like being like yay capitalism in all its forms. Like, I don't know. There's just, the lack of nuance on both sides was pretty staggering, but I guess I shouldn't be surprised anymore. Yeah, it felt about right, I guess.

Well, I'm glad we don't hate each other. We don't even seem to disagree that much. Not at all. Not at all. And I'm glad. A bold decision to bring in a third party that has no idea what the fuck you're talking about. That has no ties to any of this. And can contribute basically nothing.

But do you have a take now that you've heard both compelling sides and more data than probably anyone should know about such a thing? Seriously. I think my take is that I feel like the internet can't be possible that the internet is getting stupider by the day.

Surely that's not what's happening. I wouldn't make, I wouldn't call that impossible. I would call that. I've been on the internet a long time and I would call that impossible. I think

my tolerance for trivial bullshit must be getting lower and lower. I am immediately checked out. It's a B- line. People are reacting crazily positive

and attacking them negative. All I'm looking for is a better thing to do. Fair enough. Do you watch WandaVision? I've watched a few episodes. I liked it okay. A completely reasonable take.

That's a completely reasonable take. I don't even know if that's going to get me attacked. It might. Both sides are going to be either this is garbage, how dare you have that opinion or it's the best show that has ever been. I just

love comic books so much growing up. I loved them through my 20s. I would still love them now but there's so much comic book that I can't. I didn't watch any of the newest Avenger movies. I know who she is from the comics

but I don't know like half of what they're referring to so I'm like okay this is fine. This is some okay writing with kind of a clever premise. It's what is that movie? It's surely not Smallville. Pleasantville? What was the one with the color?

Pleasantville. It's Pleasantville with a comic book spin. That's okay. That's fine. I'm excited about this phase of Marvel stuff for two reasons. One, up until now

it's been all of Iron Man and Spider-Man and Thor that most people would kind of know. Now they're just running out of people so now we're getting like... Man I saw their release schedule for the next year and it's nothing anybody has ever heard of.

It's Moon Knight. I cannot wait for Darkhawk. I can't wait for Sleepwalker. I can't wait for all these like... My favorite just Night Thrasher. We need Night Thrasher. What about Dreamwalker? Or Sleepwalker. I thought it was Sleepwalker.

Probably right. Fuck it. Put them both in there. Let them fight. I want to get into like the shitty toy tie-ins, like visionaries and all the shit Marvel did in the early 80s. I'm excited about that part. And then the other thing...

I'm still looking at their what-if miniseries. Did you see that? That they're doing a what-if miniseries? The dumbest... Notoriously the dumbest fucking comic books that have ever been made. That was the premise is we want to do the dumbest comic books that have ever been made.

We can't do it because we'll ruin the canon of everything. So what if... What if... What if Captain America was a zombie? I did love how those seem to not be written backwards from the title. I feel like

if I'm the editor of what if you bring me a fucking good what if cover, right? And then you write the story from there. But sometimes it'd be like, what if Wolverine didn't get his taxes done right in 1984? And you're like, oh shit, whatever. Maybe the story's cool, maybe it's not, but

so rarely was the cover compelling. And then every now and then it'd be like, what if Wolverine was king of the vampires? You're like, holy shit, yes. That's even better than the tax. Everyone is better than the last. There was one other thing I was excited about and I completely forgot it because

now I'm just thinking about Wolverine being king of the vampires and having tax issues at once. Audited for being king of the vampires and having his income properly. Vampire accountants. Ah shit, what if what if God, we're just rattling him off so many good

pitches. I know what I should write for now. I know my dream. Oh man. All right, so what we're going to do now we are going to watch episode one of Megan wants a millionaire together and we will come back

after we've seen it. So you'll get a good snapshot of our mental state right now. We seem like we're good friends. We're all getting along. We all seem happy. Talk to us in 40 minutes. Oh no. Oh no, I didn't realize it was a test. It's the baseline. This is the control group

and now we're going to watch this horrible, horrible thing. Oh, I missed you. I'm going to miss our friendship. I know, it's so good. All right, we're back from watching what might be the most cursed television program of all time. Megan wants a millionaire, episode one. So

let's talk about like the origin of this show. I think the origin probably goes back to what you say, Eddie, the surreal life. Yeah. So surreal life. So the story of surreal life was the company I used to work for a long time ago called

Buna Murray Productions. They had done the real world and internally they had been pitched to show that was basically surreal life or it was basically real world, but with famous people and Mary Alice and John were like, Nope. And so they basically sold that show. A couple people created their own company, sold that

show to CW. That show went on for like a bunch of seasons in the third season, Flavor Flav and Brigitte Nielsen were on it. They legitimately like fell for each other and hooked up and then they got a spin off of their own show called Strange Love

that shockingly did really, really well. And then the idea was basically do the Bachelor of Flav and that show is fantastic. That was the show that I worked on. I hadn't worked on any of those prior to that. I was brought on for season one of Flavor of Love

and that show was fun. I stand by that show as like a legitimate piece of satire of the Bachelor and other like dating shows. I think you like. You have to own everything that comes out. That's the problem. That first season I stand by.

Second season, I was telling Brockway, I'm literally editing a woman pooping on stairs. That's right. That was the first episode of season two. I remember so much happened. Like all these women come so many of them get humiliated because Flavor couldn't come up with a nickname

for them and they had to stand there while he's like, yo and then this woman waits so long at this panel of women that she poops on the floor and immediately gets busted and like sneaks away upstairs

and then someone figures out what has happened and between like 20 people in the room, they are like, okay, a human being has shit on the floor and the girl's name was something. Something. Because she was pretty big and Flavor was not feeling her

and he looked at her and he just kind of gave her this sort of pity name like you girl, you're something and the fact that a woman named her was pretty good if he named her poop on the stairs. Yes, that would have been prophetic. Yeah, I was going to say, that's some

Nostradamus level stuff from Flavor. Yes, then she also had poop on the stairs and Eddie, I remember you told me, because you saw the raw footage, you saw the actual non-blurred poop on your Edit Bay. It's poop. It was poop. Oh god, I'm so afraid of this follow up question.

You have a follow up question for the poop looked like? No, I'm afraid of what you're going to ask. I have no questions. By the way, I just want to say let's all tastefully leave it there. I just want to say my wife is in the other side of the room hearing just my side of this conversation

and she knows intrinsically, because her and I started dating when I was working on the show. She knows intrinsically what we're talking about but just the little bits of it I think are telling. So this is your apology to her. Pretty much.

So after Flavor of Love they did a spin off, I Love New York unrelated to what we're talking about today but what it did is demonstrate that this is a fucking hit making formula. You make a show like this and it might

generate two to three other hit shows just from the people on it. So they decided to make the exact same show with Brett Michaels. Like this fractal trash. Yes. So it was called Rock of Love and I think you added at least one season to that show, right?

I did all three seasons of Flavor of Love. I will quickly go through. I did all three seasons of Flavor of Love. I did all three seasons of Rock of Love. I did two seasons of I Love New York. I did two seasons of Charm School. I did America's Most Smartest Model.

I did My Fair Brady Season 3. I did saying it all out loud. It kind of like, I feel the weight of it on my heart. I do like Trash of TV but there's something about

Flavor of Love and I Love New York. Rock of Love. These are shows that I genuinely love and they're easy to find on streaming service. They're super crazy entertaining and they hold up really well. So what happened after Rock of Love is there's a woman on that show called Megan, I can't

remember her last name, but she's the Megan from Megan Wants a Millionaire. And I think this might have been her first show or she was on No, it's just I Love Money. I Love Money was our version of the MTV Real World Road Rules Challenge. And we actually hired a lot of the former

staff of that show, which by the way that show still endures. It's just called The Challenge now and there's absolutely zero connection to Real World Road Rules. It's just literally a competition show. But that was our take on it. And she was awful at that. The three deep

Real World Road Rules Challenge. They're just nesting shows like The Russian Dollars. It's kind of kaleidoscopic. You see one of them and you see nine other potential shows as the reflection fractals out. So we now have

this woman she was a Playboy model and an I Love Money participant. And now she appears on Rock of Love and Brett Michaels kicked her off the show after a pretty good run. I think she might have got to make out with Brett Michaels a few times. Lucky lady.

Lucky lady. Yeah. And then they gave her her own show after she was either on Charm School or I Love Money 2 was very vocal about how she just wanted to marry a millionaire and like one of the producers eyeballs turned into dollar signs. They're like

fucking that's a great idea for a show. And so she just transparently and nakedly just wants the guy to come on and she will deal with whatever lack of chemistry they have to get his money. And it's a lot of the quiet parts set out loud.

And so here's this woman who whatever I don't want to comment on her physical beauty but she's maybe not the commanding beauty you would expect from like

30 rich dudes to buy as a trophy wife. I think she's fine. She's sure she's like somebody drew a beautiful woman on a piece of wood. Yeah. It's almost right. It's if you if someone was dating her you wouldn't say like wait her you know what I mean like she's

fine. Yeah. Right. So all these guys come on Megan wants a millionaire and it is a fucking circus of clowns like I I mean you you by design

have screwed yourself here because all like it is generally considered of a hefty piece of ammunition if you are extremely well off or at least stable. Right. You can find a good woman. Yeah. It's not the only thing. Yeah.

What's wrong with you that you're here. So if you can't do that if you can't find a woman with your millions of dollars. Yeah. You're not going to be a catch coming on this show. There's something wrong with both parties. We're kind of making a joke in the end while we're

watching it that like if you some of these gentlemen if you if you slide their conventional attractive meter down their their net worth meter should just automatically scale upward because a lot of these dudes are just barely straddling the one point one million dollar

net worth qualifier. Right. There's like a there's like a guy that's totally he seems like normally fine. He's worth like five million dollars. And then there's like just a hideous monstrosity of a man with no redeeming characteristics whatsoever. And he's worth like one million dollars

and also five. And a penny. Because he found five dollars on the way to the show. He sold some comic books on the way to the show. He's like no VH1. I just I crossed the million dollars. I sold my X-men run. Show them the money. I sold my Darkhawk number one. I've got that extra 15

dollars to put me over the limit. Right. You're on the show. So some of the standouts there was a very creepy dude named Al who seemed very nervous to be on TV and was kind of vibrating like he was having an adrenaline rush

and at one point he and was was bright red absolutely just could not stand being there. The reddest the reddest man I have ever seen. He was given massage oil as like a goofy introductory gift. And so he takes her off to the side and starts

giving her a foot rub. And then there was a dirt bag in a fedora who seemed like his personality was inspired by Andrew Desclay. And he followed them followed him there to like watch him rub this lady's feet. And that was a weird energy. And then he had Megan like touch his face and

pretended to bite her and she got so freaked out she spilled wine all over herself and into her eye directly into her brain and that guy immediately. Yes, he's dead. Megan's sinuses do not behave like ours. Like we should have started with that. They are dilated

massive coques. I think the easily the only handsome one of the group was a dude named the Punisher who was a very buff Punisher the Punisher. That's how he was listed. He was literally a male stripper according

to what they were telling us who made his his stake in stripping. And then he invested well in real estate and he took off his shirt. Not even it wasn't even his idea. Some other guy wanted to show off how buff he was and here comes the Punisher twice as buff but he has a big birthmark on one

of his luscious abs and it was a fucking hardcore turn off for Megan like she saw this birthmark and she's just like gross this other 240 pounds of muscle might as well throw it in the trash fucking birthmark who said specifically you it looks like Cuba.

Right. That's what she hates about it. It reminds me of Cuba. Well you know she had a really hard upbringing in Cuba like we should have started just like she escaped Havana as a no ostracized because of how white she was.

She hated the inaccuracy. She's like if it was a good map of Cuba then yeah that would have been on that dick. So I think he'll do well on the show. Who are some of the standouts for you guys? Oh man Donald.

Donald is my number one standout. Donald is the best character on the show. He looks like just a big melted pile of wax. Yeah I was gonna say like semi-formed fondue. Candle in the microwave for that guy.

I believe you have said you've called it completely. I don't know why we're dancing around it. Semi-melted? Yeah. He looks like Crank. He looks like Crank from Teenage Mutant Ninja. He looks like because we're the big thing was he's tall but he's

unusually wide without being fat. And so we're like initially it's like okay does he have a quadro going on? Is there a little face in his belly? And then it's like no this is a Crank. This is a hollowed out center where something is piloting and also because his head is kind of shaped like that.

Yeah he looks exactly like Crank's very crude man suit except for if you put glasses and a button up shirt on him. Directing $40,000 budgeted movies. If you poke him in the belly Crank will go ouch! Fuck! Right Donald is himself

as a movie producer and as we're watching it Brockway looks him up on IMDB because he was bragging about Chainsaw Cheerleaders. He's like I would have put you in Chainsaw Cheerleaders like that's his flagship production. So I looked him up on IMDB

and Chainsaw Cheerleaders had a budget of $43,000. Just incredible. That's his movie producer. Wait wait do you want to go through? I want to know more about Donald. Let's talk more about Donald. It seems like it really

all broke loose for Donald with cannibal hookers in 1987. I mean that's really where he figured out what he wants to do and how he wants to do it. And that is he wants to use up to $40,000

to convince beautiful women that he's not gross. It doesn't work. So he keeps trying with movies every single year. He made he made Vampire Cop. Good call. Alright. You can see where he's coming from. Sweet title. No notes.

No notes. No notes on that one. A little bit later he makes an erotic vampire in Paris. Now you see where he's going back to the well. Yeah. But it's Paris and there's an element of romance to it. Maybe he's trying to venture out.

Maybe this is his version of Call Me By Your Name. He starts to dial it in a little bit with Dorm of the Dead. Right. That's the movie right before Chainsaw Cheerleaders. I want to paint a little bit more of a picture of Donald.

As we were saying earlier he's about 70 years old and he looks and he has like sort of a creepy way of like stumbling to senses. I don't think he was 70 years old. I think he was making himself old. I think he's 58.

I picked him out of shape 58. Because he has a current credit in 2021 he's still going. Okay. So he's still alive. He is currently in production. This is 2009 on the show we were watching. On what? Is Debbie Does Demons.

Oh, Donald. Disappointment. I mean it's better than Hucker with a Hexaw or Shark Exorcist. Well, no, shit. I'd see. He made one called Shark Exorcist. I already know what happened. Sharknado had come out

and he was trying to capitalize. That's it. 2015. That's late. That's late for Sharknado Capitalization. He missed the window. For us, yes. For Donald. He's just catching up to pop culture. Finger on the pulse.

It takes him several years to get the scripts just right. He's a real artist. There was a line he delivers in the show that I love so much where he says oh, Megan, if you have a moment I'd like to speak to you over by the firepan. Firepan.

When he said that I'm like, oh my god, I fucking remember this line when I saw it in 2009. What a full creep that I just... He only speaks on inhales. I figured out

what the voice reminds me of. Sean, you and I are both parents. We've seen the Incredibles 2. You know when Mr. Incredible is trying to get Jack Jack from not being invisible anymore and he's like, Jack Jack, okay.

That's what that voice reminded me of. But he's that all the time. Real, like, leering pervert. Yeah, if Mr. Incredible wanted his son in a natural way, yes, that's the application. If he was being just a coy molester.

I'm very confident that we've given a perfectly adequate picture of him. Like, a very honest picture of him. Without any exaggerating. Like, this is exactly who this person is. Yeah, I anticipate the fan art.

There is one character I feel we've done a disservice to. And that is the guy that we've just described, yes, as a guy in a fedora. And I feel that we've really neglected to mention that his name was Garth. You've undersold him quite a bit.

He is a hardcore Garth. A plumber. He's a rich plumber. Millionaire plumber. Which again, not unusual. Plumbers are well paid. Which is like, you know, a pretty well off plumber. He's like, he's going for like that hard, hard

ed hardy look from like 2000, I don't know, four. Which feels like he's not good enough. A very mildly edgier guy, Fury. Like, is Garth's aesthetic. Kind of a kid rock stunt double. He looks like a dictionary drawing of the word Dirt Bay.

He's like a tattoo sample book. From a place you don't get a tattoo. Right. Oh, no, thank you. He looks like someone that might have just 80 pairs of panties in his suitcase traveling alone. Yeah, yeah, he definitely

he definitely enjoys the taste of specific kinds of panties. Garth, why do you, why do you have all those panties? I think his answer would be why not? Like, I think that's, I think that's, I think that would be his legitimate and ironic answer. I think his answer would be a gentleman.

How come you got all those panties? I turned around on you. How come you got the panties? Well, I probably don't have as many as you. I'm not a weirdo. So, Donald was cut. Garth was kept. Another guy who's cut, who I did like,

his name was Audi, like a car, and he called himself the big dog and he kept talking about his hump game and no one bit. Like, no one was interested in that. Hump game and she's like, what the fuck is that? Knowing full well what this is.

It's so clear what this is. She just wanted him to say it. He's like, you know, like the thrusting action. He actually said it rather than playing it off. He's like, no, this girl might not know. She might not know what it is. He didn't say, let me show you sugar tits or something. He just said,

here's a clinical explanation of what hump game is. It's fucking, ma'am. It's sexual intercourse, ma'am. It's the penile thrusting action. I thought that was clear. I really, I'm so sorry. I should have workshopped this more before bringing it.

Regional. And so, obviously, you should always trust a guy who tells you his hump game is good. That was my favorite line in the whole show was when he introduced himself as Audi and she said, like the car, do you have an Audi?

And he said, no, I got a Cherokee. And she said, you got a Cherokee. Maybe she thought he meant like the person, the nationality. I thought she meant like his belly button. That's how I interpret that.

Like, do you have an Audi? It's a scene that meant many things to many people. Yeah. No, I got a Jeep. I got a Jeep. So she kicked him off the show. She also kicked a guy off the show who was a trust fund and that's all they talked about.

You know, he sort of looked like a beach bum kid and he was waiting for his grandfather to die so he could have the money. And that's like fucking shit that came out of his own mouth. He's like, I practically have the money. I'll have it by next year. Meaning like he's on TV.

Just waiting for his beloved grandparent to die. And hoping he doesn't see this. I also feel like we're underselling his look a little bit. He looked like an extra in the original American Pie movie.

Like, he looked like if you froze one of them in time and unthought him five minutes before the taping and begging once a millionaire he looked and dressed very much like that. With the orthodontia of a person lower than his means.

It looked like he might have taken his beloved grandfather soon to be dead's dentures and jammed that into his mouth and just walking around. He had like the unwanted British royal where you have to like explain that your two or three steps are removed. No, I'm royalty, but you got to bear with me.

It also looked like a lot of people have to die. It also looked like he heard he was going to be on the show and said, okay, I'm going to go frost my tips. Not frosted tips, but then they're like oh, you're not going to be taping for another four to five weeks.

And then he's like, shit, okay, I'm not going to cut my hair and I'm not going to get frosted tips again. Because like it was really long for like the frost. There was way too much progression there and the frosting was like faded. I don't know why, but his frosted tips drew my eye

and I couldn't quite escape it. Did you have frosted tips back in the day? Did I have what? Frosted tips back in that era? No, I graduated high school in 96 which was like right when it was starting to be a thing and then I was in the army and then no.

Yeah, they don't let you frost your tips in the boot camp. Exactly. He has frosted grandpa to die where he frosts them tips. Exactly, he's got frosted tips, kickoff, but not the necessary maintenance money. There's one of those moments that's just

so amazingly perfect where Megan had two of her friends in there to like sort of interview the guys and like let her know which ones suck. And so they ask him like, so you don't have any money, do you get like an allowance from your parents? No, I don't get an allowance. I just never get a monthly like a, I guess I get an allowance.

It's not weekly like I'm a child. I still have to budget it. Like I can't blow it all in the first week. I've learned that. I don't have to sweep the kitchen and my bedroom. Just one of those. So the reason I call this the most cursed television show of all time

is obviously trashy reality TV. The premise is very, very dark. We've come so far. Yeah, it legitimately makes the world the worst place. Yeah, I forget how long ago this like blasted hellscape of pop culture was

where it was just, we were really okay. We weren't just okay with that. We were really into that. And that was everything. That was TV. That was what TV was. Like there was that era in the early 2000s where we rewarded psychopathic behavior so much where like it was a legitimate job for

hundreds of people. 500 to 600 people probably made their living just being a psychopath on TV. And I remember thinking like this is probably like bad for the society in general. You know what I mean? Like kids. This is probably bad for the spacious.

Kids looking at this. It's gonna harm our long-term survival. I think growing up and seeing VH1 reality shows in the early 2000s you could plan on making a living being after you grow up. Just like how Public asshole. Visible asshole. That's my job.

I suppose now you could look at like streamers or YouTube personalities and say that's what I want to be. Which is probably not much better, but it is better. It is better. You're right. I had never stopped and appreciated

just like how much better our current crop of visible assholes is they at least do occasional charity streams. Right? Like they will occasionally raise a couple hundred thousand dollars for like trans youth hotline or something like that. Like there was no redeeming quality here.

Even if a streamer is like a total piece of shit or doesn't do any good for anyone, they're still not actively making the world the worst place like most of the VH1 reality stars of the 2000s. Yes. Like they're not on TV saying I'm gonna act like a dick. I'm gonna grab this guy's piggy bank and throw it on the ground

to bully him. Like that really happened and he's a billionaire. Yep. They kept that guy on the show and he was rewarded for his terrible behavior. Because it was outlandish enough to make the final cut. And that's really all we're interested in. That's all they were interested in. So

that's one reason why the show is bad. But another reason is one of those contestants we all just watched was a murderer. Now, do you guys know which one it was? I don't know which one it was.

Do you have a guess? Absolutely. It is absolutely impossible for you to ask that question because I cannot believe that only one of them was a murderer. I mean, are we talking technicalities? One of them was convicted of murder? One of them

literally killed his wife, cut her hands and teeth out and put her in a suitcase. Holy shit. While he was filming a different reality show and they had... What? While he was... What was the other reality show? I love Money 3.

Yeah, it was the... I remember I was not working for the company at that time. I was gosh, I think I was I don't even remember where I was. I was working on I was doing something, oh god, I was

I was doing Fact or Faked. I was doing the Paranormal Show for Sci-Fi. And yeah, I remember this happened. I remember they yanked it because that happened in real life when like the second episode of that was airing and they yanked it completely off the air and VH1

had just had like a change of CEO and he was not enamored with our stuff to begin with and this was just all the excuse he needed to just like... If you notice there's a visible line of demarcation. To be fair, that's a really good excuse. Yeah, that's pretty good. There's a visible line of demarcation

of the types of shows that company made before then and after then. Like this actually changed the course of that company kind of forever. It changed the face of all reality show forever. Yeah, totally. You would hope a suitcase murder would change the course of something. Yeah. But generally

you hope that has an impact. Yeah, so Megan wants to know... So there's one specific murder. Yes, they aired three episodes of this show we just watched. See, here's the thing. I would say, without question, it should have been Donald. It should have been the Crang. It should have been the human Crang.

But he was cut and he had to like drive his Technodrome home. Did he come back and murder? I wouldn't put him out. The murder happened after the total rap of this show. Like this show, films, rap... It can't be somebody that was cut already. It could be. Like I'm saying like...

Right, because it happens in a different show. Yes. I'm starting to remember. I'm starting to remember who it was. Okay, so let's let Brockway guess first. You can't give it away. I'm not going to give it away, but I'm starting to remember. I don't think you should give it away at all.

I want to track this murder. I want to see what my detective skills are. Well, then I won't tell you. We'll do another episode where we watch the second episode and we'll see if that's enough for Brockway to figure out who the murderer is. I still want to guess.

Okay. I want to put a guess down and make it final. If you get it right, should I tell you? No. No, I want to discover it on my own. I really want to solve this crime. I am so intrigued by this. This is our true crime podcast.

That anyone could look up. Okay, this is the second time we've declared this a true crime podcast. Change that category on the iTunes and that way you get more... let the algorithm work for you. You're right. We're going to figure this one out. See, I want to say it's Donald

because he heard when they were discussing all the men, her and her two beautiful friends had said... And then there's Donald. She said, what do you think of Donald? He's like, well, I want to be a movie star. And then her friend said, yeah, but you'd have to touch him. That's such a good line.

I feel like if he heard that line after the edits, he would come back and murder. But I also love that it... it even flitted through her head for a second that she could... she would consider marrying this grotesque crying monster to be in a $40,000 movie.

Right. And he mentioned... he said his big flagship movie was Chainsaw Cheerleaders 1. And she was like, that was not a turnoff. That's exactly... And that 40 grand includes like craft services and like special effects.

Marketing, promotion. Well, let's... Donald was the director and writer of all those movies. Giant asterisks around the word marketing. Just... I actually... Which consists of his appearance

on Megan wants to marry a millionaire? The job I had before Flavor of Love, I was doing promos and bumpers for a horror movie franchise. We did movies like... It was called Lightning Releasing. We did like Puppet Master versus Evil Dolls 2 or something like that.

It was that kind of house. In Santa Monica. We're on 3rd Street Promenade. We're on the top floor of one of those buildings. And yeah, we sold all this stuff through to Italian video on demand cable channels. And it was a money maker.

We'd spend maybe $100,000 on a movie. And it would come back with all this stuff. I'm kind of surprised he wasn't worth more money, to be honest with you. He should have been worth more than one point. Yeah, you have to also be bad at this.

You have to be bad at making garbage to make... to barely crack that movie. So you don't think Shark Exorcist is a good movie? Or maybe it did and he blew his money on... I think it's maybe too good. Or he blew his money on Crang upgrades. Like...

Just like body. Engage, roller skates. roller skates cost me like $380,000. I need to invest in a voice modulator after I said that fucking fire pit line. That was crazy. Come sit with me by the fire pit.

Engage the roller skates. Alright, holy shit. One murder alert. There's some that we haven't talked about. There's the weird guy that got his piggy bank broken. There's... God, who else? We're forgetting some people.

There were a few normies in there that were just... I mean, so many of these white dudes look exactly the same. You could not pick them out of a lineup of one. There was that sort of Guido bodyguard guy. There was the Canadian guy. If you were a medic Canadian.

Yeah, hey, you want a Canadian young lady? It was like the most exotic part of his personality. Oh my God, the Canadian. We forgot about the Canadian. The guy who was introduced and he thought of the most exotic thing about himself and he said, have you ever met a Canadian before? And there was a pro wrestler?

He's not a murderer. He's Canadian. There was a pro wrestler who didn't get any screen time. Yeah. He was in the Supertease for the season. And I think he might have made the cut. Yeah, he did. He did. She cut Donald and the trust fund kid and Audi.

Those are the three she cut. Yeah, just a lot of big generic dudes with huge square heads like Minecraft characters. One of the big cheats of not like one of the techniques that we always had is that the people who make it to the finals

only one of them will actually be like only one of them will actually be featured in that first episode. If you go back and watch Flavor Love One Hoops was barely featured in that first episode. She's kind of just not a lot of screen time is like spent on her.

Very clever. You got to get the guys that get rid of her first. Yeah, New York is probably featured in the finals but like Pumpkin's kind of there. Hoops is like not. Okay. I'm ready for my murder.

Who's your guest? Here's my reasoning. I think it's probably one of the guys that's not even featured yet. It's probably one of the guys that made no impression on me. Because that's usually what murderers are. They usually hide in plain sight. But I can't make that guess.

I wasn't paying attention. Yes, of the ones that I am faced with and remember I think it's Al, the really awkward guy that made her spill the wine. That was his name, right? That was given the massage oil. That turned bright red

the whole time and somehow maintained it despite just not passing out from lack of blood pressure. You think that guy is capable of taking a human life? That's the problem. I do. I think all of the shame and rage really nurtured to that point in his life.

After he blinded her with the wine was his first taste of violence and then it just unlocked the door inside of it. That's the thing that did it. I want you to go back and watch this again. As soon as he blinded her and she started crying, he laughed.

He just went... That's true. And that was 4% nervous, 96% I've awoken something inside myself. This is the only way I can feel true joy. We have opened the door and there is no closing.

There's that type of humiliation that cringe that can really fester in a human soul and I feel like embarrassing yourself that badly on TV and then throwing wine into the star of the show right into her face.

Right into her goddamn eyeballs and then she starts crying. I'm also trying to keep in mind the circumstances that you told me of this murder where he cut off her hands and her teeth and then put her in a suitcase. That's not like a murder of opportunity or of passion.

That's an AL murder. The way it was described by the producer of the show was that it felt like he was executing this unspeakable crime like it was a challenge on the TV show. Like someone said, for today's challenge

you're going to win Megan's heart by proving with a cold-blooded murder. It felt very much like a murder by someone who watches too much TV. And it's a terrible crime. I'm still sticking with that. So here's the thing about Al. I think

I don't know if Al is capable of murder. What I do think he is capable of and what I'm willing to bet he did was later that night after everyone's gone to bed him going back to the spot whining in her eye and just breathing in that air

trying to relive the moment. I could absolutely see that happening. I don't know if I could... But when can one out right on that couch? Yeah, like Homelander at the end of the boys season 2. Kind of just like taking... just like unsure of himself. This is mine.

I have owned this moment. I'm the king of this little pocket of the world right here. I could see that. I could absolutely see that. That's my guess. I'm sticking with it for this episode. Okay. That's today's 1,900 hot dog murderer. And I do love this idea.

We're going to come back in another episode and watch episode 2 and see if you can figure out who did it. Obviously our listeners either know or could look it up. But Brockway will not. And to our listeners that interact with us on the Discord, don't tell him.

I will find this murderer. I will track this murderer. Okay. So, Eddie, do you have anything you'd like to plug before we... So, in addition to some other stuff,

I'm on a D&D podcast, a Dungeons & Dragons podcast called Plunders & Blunders. And we are wrapping up. We're heading towards our series finale in the next couple of months. So, Plunders & Blunders podcast, anywhere you can find 5 podcasts. I also host another podcast called

Daryl with my buddy Aaron Pruner. I think we're going to have a Mr. Sean Baby on as one of our guests here in the not too distant future. I'm available. I'm also a father. You're also a dad. So, it's all about dads and all dad's stuff. Yeah, it's basically two dudes

who kind of don't know what they're doing when it comes to dadhood, but we're trying to help each other out with that. Oh, that's not me at all. I'm really successful. She has both her legs. Most of her arms. You've just gotten your black belt and dadding just off of that.

And then, yeah, outside of that, nothing I can talk about yet, but maybe on a future episode I can kind of like call this back because like the thing, I'm vaguely teasing. So... Well, all right then. Thank you very much for being here. Oh, it was a pleasure.

I guess you by now have figured out who the murderer was. I know who the murderer is, yeah. Okay, then you don't get a guess. I'm not going to guess because I know who it was. If you had $170,000, what upgrade would you make to Donald's cranksuit? Oh, easily.

A face swapper. Like, he basically... Like a manny faces? Like a manny faces, but he has to like devour somebody else's face. It's not a zero sum game. Like, he would have to like... $170,000 isn't getting you a free face swapper.

There's a catch. Yeah, it's like, hey, can I see you in the corner quickly? And then, like, his face opens up like a Blade II vampire. Like a Blade II vampire. Oh, I like that. And then, like, just removes that guy's face and puts it on himself. The best part is, is that he would retain

his silhouette and shape, so it would just be like another dude's face on a not-fitting frame. Yeah, you'd know who he was. That probably explains why his face was wrong already. That was probably like a 7th or 8th face that day. Yeah, he was due for an upgrade. Yeah, he's just going to upgrade the existing system.

Yeah. This Dog Zone 9000 was made possible by contributions from Hot Dog Supremes like Benjamin Syran, Dr. Awkworth, Yo-Sary, Josh Sheldon, and the others.

Yeah. Yeah. This Dog Zone 9000 was made possible by contributions from Hot Dog Supremes like Benjamin Syran, Dr. Awkworth, Yo-Sary,

Josh S, Zachary Evans, Adrian Hisberg, Aidan Moet, Brienne Whitney, Josh Fabian, Armando Nabaugh, Lyman,

Toastie God, Neil Schaefer, Doug Redman, Jaybur L. Aydin, David Forna, Ryanitis, Holly Poiswa, John McCammon,

Nick H., Matt Riley, Rhea, Rich Jossley, Ken Paisley, Timmy Levy, Dean Costello, Three Finger,

Louie, Nick Ralston, Zadarfan,