The Dogg Zzone by 1900HOTDOG - Dogg Zzone 9000 - Episode 151, T And T's Silver Angel With Zak Koonce

Episode Date: November 29, 2023

Brockway plays the podcasting trumpet, summoning Seanbaby and guest, Zak Koonce, to watch the forgotten Canadian Mr. T show, T and T. Specifically the episode where a geriatric lone ranger terrorizes a 1980s Canadian Whole Foods. Special guest stars: The Fat Boys. That's real. That's all real.

1-900 hot dog! 1-900 hot dog! A podcast slammed with maximum height! Say hot dog podcast worked! Yeah! We need to taste that nitrate power! You're in the dog zone for an hour! Come on!

You're gonna be numbered! 1-900 hot dog! 1-900 hot dog! Welcome to the Dog Zone 9000, the official podcast of 1900 Hot Dog America's last website. If you remember written comedy and the odds are you don't, we're still doing that. We have the best writers on the internet doing nothing but bringing joy every day in a format that's very easy to hide while you're working.

Come support us on patreon.com slash 1900 hotdog, or, or hilarity and humor and, and websites die. They will all die. Well, I'm Robert Brockway and I'm here to say I'd like to rip a wrap in a very fresh way. Now maybe you know him from the internet's TV. It's my comedy partner. Sean Baby! And our guest today with more rhyme to the out, he's from the Oral Nonsense names. How do you think my last name is pronounced? There it is! Yeah!

I got you nice. Very nice. Very nice. Is that Coots? Not Counts. I was hoping for that's not how it's pronounced but what but okay I'm having brainless on turbo today Sometimes it's not I haven't slept in two days. I was lucky to fucking get my own name

Zack before we get into what is going to be a four-hour podcast Where can we find more for me? You could go to YouTube slash RLNOTs, a U-R-A-L, and a UTS. We make, I'd say a little of this and a little of that to maybe a frustrating degree. We have no consistency on our channel. Other than it's nerdy shit, we just kind of make what we feel like.

Usually it's pretty good. Lately, we've just been creating some fucking retro TV show openings for Star Wars, for No-Rose. Those are real lovable. They're lovable, right? That's kind of the only goal there. It's like departure from the Zany funny stuff to this just like real like, this is so good.

Your stuff is so good. I've said this to you before, but it's like, weirdly professional, you know what I mean? It could be good on several levels. Sometimes it's like, hey, this is good because it's a Scroosani is shit. And you're like, sometimes it's good

because you're like, wow, they put a lot of, I feel like craft into this and I appreciate it. This is, we are two bitter, jaded old, industry professionals. We are both from the advertising world and it crushed our spirits enough to just want to start a YouTube channel and throw everything away.

So it's, I think that's what you're sensing there is that a lot of talent. You know. But I'm not saying it's wasting on YouTube. I'm saying I'm really enjoying. I'd say we have, I feel a lot better about what I've put into the world than I did when I was making fucking Maybelline commercials.

Yeah, agree. You had a Maybelline account? I just, I just worked at the company that they had in the account, all right. I'm not gonna, I didn't direct any of it or anything like that. Is that why your skin is so kissively smooth? That's just the mixed race you're sensing. That's what happens when you're not fully white. You just kind of age a little bit better and you know, right? Until mixed race you're sensing. That's what happens when you're not fully white. You just kind of age a little bit better.

And, you know, right? Until one day you're 85. Yep, instantly. Mm-hmm. But yeah, we just been making stuff that there was a bit. Like, the bit was how all these shows are coming out and they're all taking place at all these random points in the movie's timeline. How funny would it be if they had come out on TV in chronological order?

So then the challenge was to figure out what era of music that would be. So book a bubble fat was the first one we did, I think, which takes place after turn the Jedi, which would have put it around 86. So we had this real like 18 kind of, you know, there's a guy, like a gritty dude talking and about the gruff life of a bounty hunter. And there's some jokes in there. There's some like kind of self-aware like criticisms

of the show baked into it, but. And then we started getting like, you guys are no strangers to this. We tend to make things a lot harder for ourselves than we need to. And so this premise kind of like, people are like, do Obi-Wan next, and we're like, well, it takes place 10 years

before the first hour's film, which would have been about 1967, and holy shit, we do not want to make a swing in big band fucking theme song for something that like may not even come out that well, so we just said fuck it, and we just did an Obi-Wan song that came out today actually, and we just made fuck it and we just did an Obi-Wan song that came out today actually. And we just made it in the 80s.

We said screw it, we like the 80s. That's where everything rad happens. And we made like a power ballad style, like real like Brian Adams kind of, you know, going for it, push it to the limit style, you know, theme song. So pretty happy with that one. So I keep coming.

I haven't watched that one yet. Oh shit. If you like the failing business model of just do whatever you want because you think it's funny, and you do if you're listening to this. Yeah, that's the whole business plan. Yeah.

There's a van diagram. You're somebody else that does that. Yeah. It is, you know what? That shit turns out to be evergreen because you got all these other people on YouTube that are trying to figure it out. They're like the algorithm, the algorithm.

You see their goofy fucking expressions in their thumbnails and they do all the tricks and they're still losing views at like alarming rates. And it's like, well, now you just, now you have no views and you look like assholes. We have no views, but we just kind of look like we always have and it's like well now you just now you have no views and you look like assholes we have no views but we just kind of look like we always have and people seem like we got dignity yeah exactly I got a dignity I got the dignity so if you like dignity and randomness that's a great sales bitch yeah I like it all ties together wonderfully with the subject of today's podcast.

That being just random shit that we find funny and the 1980s. Today we are talking about TNT, the half hour Mr. T, action detective show from Canada from 1988's Canada. We are talking specifically about season one, episode 12, Silver Angel. That's right, the episode about a Geriatric tinfoil

lone ranger terrorizing a whole food's guest starring the fat boys. Oh, that's real? That's all real. I can't fucking believe I hadn't talked about this episode and every day of my entire life up in turn. I'm gonna like really pissed off it at me and the world. You personally, for not telling me about this.

I used AI to fake this entire thing. There's no way this is free. I had my suspicions because I listened. I, from the same era as you guys, I was also just gobbled up everything, Mr. T, you know, from the kid stuff to the DC cab, whatever. The serial, I was all over it. I had no fucking clue this show existed.

I've never even heard of it. Like, you're making this up. Like you send me the email and I was like, so this is a fake thing that you guys created, right? Like we're gonna talk about a little project you guys did. And I was happy though to find out it was real because there's always this thing happening when you do a podcast episode and it's like about a thing that I love, I get kind of jealous.

And I'm like, oh, that would have been great to be on there to talk about it. But I wouldn't have added anything. Like, I have the same opinions on this shit that you guys do. Like the joy is when you bring in somebody who's never seen it. Right. And they have to just wrap their heads around it. And I find none of us have seen that. Yeah.

We're all that guy here. We have no straight man today. Or all straight men, I don't know how it, I don't know. I think we're all straight men. Yeah, I'm very straight, so straight. Let's be clear. Let's be more blessed. Little less so after seeing this

and I couldn't be happier about it. Yeah, part of the reason nobody knows about this, it was Canadian, it was filmed in Canada for Canadian TV. I do think it ran on syndication on American TV a little bit, but mostly the Canadian market. So three seasons, three entire seasons of this. So many episodes. I was like, there's got to be like four episodes of this never went to air. Over 60. Yeah. Over 60 episodes. God damn it. I'll just do only those because this episode should have been a fucking unared pilot. It was madness.

If there's any that's even one tenth as crazy as this, we can do a podcast about this every week. I thought this was an unared pilot. Yeah. It had so much of that energy. I would happily come back and watch every episode of this by the way. Oh man. Well, hopefully we will actually get there.

Yeah, there's a ton, there's a ton of episodes that I haven't watched them all fully, but I scrubbed through a bunch of dying to settle. This was my favorite of them, but there are a bunch of great ones. This one in particular was directed by Canadian filmmaker Donald Shabib. He was married to Teddy Moore, who played the teacher who pulls the kid off the flagpole in the Christmas story. Okay. She was pregnant at the time of filming that scene with their son, who Canadian hip-hop fans now know as 40, the producer entirely responsible for Drake and Drake's sound. So that's a legacy. That's an immediate legacy.

That's a white-o-web, yeah. Yeah, a lot of intrigue happening here. I think that's every famous person in Canada is linked to drag, drag story, right here. And from the bottom, you were the fucking son of the guy who knew the lady who was in Christmas story. It started at Christmas story. We were talking about the bottom.

Yeah, it started at Christmas story. You were not tech started at the bottom. Technically, you were starring in a Christmas story as a fetus. You know, you've been hustling that long. Now is it fair to say? Everybody from that movie is a superstar. In Canada. Yes.

In Cleveland. Now is it fair to say that you know, 40 was inspired by this. His father's first foray into the early days of hip hop. One that this episode, TNT's Silver Angel, is the sole reason he would go on to produce all of Drake's sound and change the face of Modern Hip Hop possibly for the worst, but still change it. Forever, is it fair to say that yes? Are you saying that?

Also yes. So, it's important to the history that we cover the Silver Angel, Season 1, Episode 12. First of all, and perhaps most importantly, the theme song, fucking rules. If we were to do another expositional theme song show, this would have been my pick. It is by a woman named Mary Clayton, who was most famous for this.

Uh, hell yeah. She is a background singer on like everything. Which three Mr. T. Super fans had never heard of. Yeah. Yes. But the show, the show. everything which three mr. T. Super fans had never heard of this is a mine That everybody that should have heard of it has never heard of it. She did the theme song She was usually a background singer. She was fucking foreground here. Let's let's just play the entire thing Every trip is trying to was a city smart kid fighting his way off the street until he was

framed for a crime he didn't come in. Amy Taylor was a young cruciety lawyer. She mounted an appeal to put her back on the street. This time in a suit and tie, working as a private detective. Together they are TNT. So good. He's a champion! And the service is on!

And the service is on! And the service is on! And the service is on! And the service is on! And the law is strongly against that guy. Yeah. I think there's plenty of things stopping them. The law has successfully stopped them. Well, almost stopped them once. I love every episode.

I love when you can explain the entire premise in like one-third of a song as they did here. I heard you laugh at it too, if you say the words until he was framed for a crime, he didn't commit like a guaranteed laugh. They just stole his backstory from the A team. That's all they did. It's almost exactly one out of six black American men.

The same origin story, 100%. I miss lawyer kicks so much ass that she not only got him off for murder, but the court made him a private detective and gave him a suit. They put him him a private detective and gave him a suit. They put him in a suit? You gave him a suit? They made him a private detective.

They made a dress up like his little, you know, his little, you know, mountain style. Yeah, a mission of Islam guy, yeah. I want the guilty and commit you to justice. I love it because the premise is just like four degrees off from just a full intentional joke. Like when the intro explains the show, it's a laugh to you. This is 200% bit of an any sketch we watched in the 1986 episode of SNL. It's like so I don't know,

efficient in its absurdity. It's every trope it wants taken to the most ridiculous degree. So you have the lawyer, the lawyer thing, well now we have an implausible bargain and the lawyer is gonna make it, but then they make him a private detail. It's not like a normal sane show would be like, he's remanded into her custody and now we have to work in her law form.

No, now he's a private detective. They gave him a suit. Yeah, and he's just smoothly transitions into it. I had to stop this several times because I thought it might have been like an adult swim thing. That's why I thought I'd never heard of it. I was like, this is probably more recent and I just, I'm bad at following up on recent edgy comedy

like that and maybe Mike Tyson had a show kind of similar. Right. I totally thought I was watching like a, like a over-the-top comedy. Mr. T. Mr. T. Yeah, I feel like this is an adult an adult son that the other T would have been a Taranosaurus or a transformer like Tarzan if you fucking Tarzan and T that's that an adult swim show for season Oh, by the way, here's how you know it's can you rock a Saurus and T?

The announcer go the narrator goes T and T He really make sure it's not violent. It's like it's not T and T It's like let me not T and T. It's like, let me be clear, that's an ampersand. All right, so I'm gonna really push that through. Also, the brand unrelated to another T. I want you to enjoy the pun. There's levels to this.

I like how maximum 80s it is, how, just all these stupid little things happening in the intro, but not like high budget stupid things. Like Mr. T with a baby, there's one where like the lady T is punching a guy out cold and Mr. T immediately comforts her. He's like, oh, but your hand hurts from that. There's a guy stunt man doing like a hand stand over a car. Like kind of a botched stunt.

He kind of, he's like going over the car like, if you've ever seen the rock take a stone cold stunner, like he kind of, it looks like that. You're like, what the fuck is, what the fuck was that scene? Is that the only take you got of your stuns? But like 50 things like that, I don't know. It's just a lot of cute stuff. Yeah, it's all very entry level.

Garth Ren, Garth Ren, can we even clear this is the Canadian A team? Yeah. I mean, I also just love that even the format fucks with you, like it's a half hour with commercials, action, thriller show, so that everything, and they just like, everything that happens in the show is a full-barreled sprint.

Like from the start to the finish, they know they have 20 minutes to set up an hour long show. And TNT are just always playing catch up. They can't even keep up with the fucking shenanigans. They're so far behind it every possible way. Another high concept thing I want to talk about is that like Mr. T was such a dominating celebrity. And he's like one of the teas,

and then there's just this lady that's done one episode of Night Heat. I looked her up, that's a real thing. So it's like, it's T and then like a second, far less important thing. So, but she's in the title, so she needs to be equalish. You know what I mean? Like there's a reason they call it tango and cash

and they didn't call judge dread, Schneider and Dread, you know what I mean? Like if they're gonna share a title, they have to be generally on equal ground. And it's just who the fuck is coming to see Amanda Taylor? Canada baby, all of Canada. I was wondering about that. Amanda, all of Canada's darling Taylor. Canada, baby. All of Canada. I was wondering about that. Amanda, all of Canada's darling Taylor.

I started having this fake conversation in my head about like if they just between the two of them were like, which one of us is the first tea? And she's like, well, I'm Amanda Taylor. That puts me, you know, it's an A, I'm first. And he's like, well, I'm Mr. T. Right. My name is also, here's my cereal. That's another tea do you fucking idiot?

Do you have a cereal Amanda? Can I go get Amanda O's? In Canada? Yes. Probably. She had a bit hard in 3 men and a baby. She's our greatest celebrity. That's the, that's the 5 by God.

So it's real. This show exists to the amazement of everybody. And this episode in particular is, Carrie's on exactly that theme of like so many tropes of this that they combine to an extent, insane extent that just makes pure chaos and madness. So we open in the 1980s Canada version of a whole food. It's very upscale supermarket.

And there's an old man dressed in silver, foil, space cowboy clothes. He's got like winged boots in him, but dazzled mask, it looks like golden HDC character that we know is racist now. I don't wanna like hold it. I know we're gonna be here all day if we do this, but you're skipping two things that I made careful note of.

The credits, after they finished the main credit, said, guest starring the fat boys. And I don't know what it is about guest starring the fat boys, but you fucking put that in your credits and I laugh. It is definitely Sherman Helmbligg. And also before we meet the star band, we meet Melvin, who's like got this fantastic from all it. And he meet Melvin, who's got this fantastic formula, and he is, yeah, he's creepin'. He's lookin' right up a lady's dress, and he gets immediately busted by his boss,

which means it's probably not the first time Melvin has done this, and I just, like, the casual, like that's just background, that's just like two people walking by a camera for the 80s, just like, what if it just a random murderous pervert? He's just- And the boss is short of- To be the boss.

The boss is the bad guy of this episode. So that's like tacitly saying like the injustice that Melvin can't even look up a dress. Right. He's supposed to be like a completely despicable bad guy. And here he is like rescuing a woman from Melvin. So when they- So when they- He hated it in the 1980s.

Right. That's true. That's like a porcupine in the 80s. Because I didn't know where this show was going, I 100% thought that we were gonna find some dark things in Melvin's basement in this episode. I thought that's what they were going with this. I mean, in real life, yes.

You would find those legs in Melbourne's basement. But, no, it's a leg collector. I'm the silver leg collector. All right, I'm sorry. Now, the silver bear. So, Jerry Atric's base cowboy plays the trumpet to announce his crimes. That's a shoplifting horn.

You got to sound a shoplifting horn. Yeah, he plays the shoplifting horn to alert everybody that he's shoplifting and then runs out with an entire shopping cart full of groceries into a beat up old piece of shit like 40-year-old truck with huge tinsel wings on the back. That's his version of the angel mobile. He is the silver angel and this might be immediately after. Good. This might be controversial, but I say the loss of rewritten in Canada

to allow the silver angel dude over the fucking watts. I saw this and I'm like, oh, this is fine. He's the hero. He's on the side of right. Yeah. If he plays the trumpet like that and you still can't stop him, he gets to be the champion.

Every chance you needed. Yeah. If he escapes in that vehicle, this was filmed kind of weird too, because I thought it was a gang when they did like a triple cut of him popping out from different angles and playing the trumpet. So I thought there was like three trumpet dudes,

and then he's immediately running with the shot and I'm like, so is he, there's either four of him or he's the flash, like he's literally the flash. He's Barry Allen. I'm glad you brought a classic flash. Because it is edited so fucking badly. Whenever there's any kind of an action sequence or any kind of movement whatsoever, I'm like, yeah,

I'm lost. Like, you, please. It's like a Van Damned Kick, but it's just an old man playing a trumpet. It's like, bam, bam, bam. It's almost a joke, like a Scooby-Doo bit, where like people are just like, they'll run around and vanish and appear at a place they're not supposed to be.

It's like the editor doesn't get you. You know, we literally do a Scooby-Doo with like that. Yeah, they fully do a Scooby-Doo later. That just split up Betty Hill bit. So, damn that angel says the store owner and villain played by a man named Sam Moses who you know from Ghostbusters where he played hot dog vendor. Of course. Hot dog vendor.

Of course. A climber was like that guy. Look at this guy. It's hot dog vendor for Ghostbred. She's like, nah, I was like, you will rule this day. I totally called it. Look it up. Look it up.

See how right I am. That's what women love. Sam Moses just fucking ate this part alive. God, he's so committed. So they gave him on paper, they gave him nasty supermarket manager. And he brought, like, I tied your dog to the railroad track by place.

He's so snooty. He's the snootyest he could, that anyone could be. And pure evil. Like beyond, like, I'm just kind of a nasty manager into like, I'm here to murder relentlessly. He's like what Melvin is in action. He is in presentation. So I love the jump cut after this as he goes damn that angel and the silver angel with all of his food and his tinsel truck rides off into the sunset and then it jump cuts to the cops

who have already arrested it This was supposed to be a huge mr. Rack. I Already As he's like I'm too old to be that's still my angel and But this this fool the media to reporters ask him basically almost word for word mr. Old man Do you know where you are? He's just like, what? Who's there? No way you're under arrest. He's like, I would love arrest. I'm like, this guy's, I feel this guy's sleepy and he just wants to lay down. There's a level, there's a level of old

where you play it like so old you become a ghost. I'm so old. No, that's boo. You're going into boo territory there. And that's what he's bringing is just this, this excessive frailness of dementia. The cops don't give it shit. They immediately say, hey, his name is Jonathan Duffy. Go fucking find him. Beat the shit out of him, whatever.

Just get him out of here. They announce him to the press. They show him. And Turner and Taylor, the TNT's. MrT is Turner and whoever the fuck Canada superstar is, is Taylor. They escort him out while he's playing up all this frillness and dementia. Now we show up to the boxing gym, which is another major set piece because that's where Mr. T comes from. Clearly. So Turner shows up about boxing. Yeah, he fought his way.

We know from the theme song. I don't know why I explained that to you. The only way for a black person to get off the street, they had to fight the way out. That was it. And even then, Frames for murder. Frames for murder. So actually, the only way you got off the streets was a judge sentencing you to a life as a private detective.

That was it. That was it for black men in Canada. the old way you got off the streets was a judge sentencing you to a life as a private detective. I was it that was it for black men in Canada or a mercenary for hire or mercenary that was the US that's the US first right so Turner shows up the boxing gym in his full suit and fedora to meet Decker who is the gym owner and Decker is playing simultaneously the whitest guy who has ever lived in the dumbest guy who was I love and the dumbest guy who has ever lived. He is racing both of them. There's a couple of things I want to point out here. First, Mr. T is so out of his element in these clothes. He's walking around like it's gonna fall off

if he moves the wrong way. Like he's just very stiff and he's like, hello, I am Mr. Will to do. He's got a little tiny hat. And then he takes his hat off. To be in that suit. It's a prison. He's walking around little tidy hat. And then he takes his hat off. To be in that suit. It's a prison. He's walking around in his prison.

It is a prison. And they swim with his hair back. And it makes him look like, you know, like a, like a bodega owner from the Bronx. He's like poppy tea all of a sudden with this like slick back hair cut. And he just hates it. He clearly hates it.

He's not comfortable and he's not himself. And I hate it. He doesn't do any of his fucking Mr. Teens, you know, it's all fun What I like about mr. Tean that's seen us that he can't say the word fat So he's like hey, you know the fit boys one of them is my nephew. He is a fit boy We'll get into that first First he needs Jack or Jim Black or though who is playing such an over-the-top dumb guy that he's stumped on a crossword, which is fine That's a standard trope, but then like he asks and gets kind of the answer and mr. T says the word challenge

And he's like challenge challenge How will you spell? How you spell challenge like he's playing so dumb that he doesn't really know how to speak his own language and Turner mr. T is here to ask him a very important question. You ever hear the fat boys? Fat boys. Oh yeah, they're the guys that rhyme and they talk a lot and they make all those funny noises with their mouths and stuff.

That's called rap and dick. Well, it's like, it's called rap and dick and rap. It's called rap and dick. I love his description of rap is like, as about as close to offensive as you can get without being offensive, he's like very good. He doesn't know what words are. Like he's uncertain on what words might be doing in this.

And this is 1989, so by this point, he's gotta be really fucking in the dark if he still doesn't know what rap is. Like he's trying really hard to not learn it. They make the sounds with the mouth. They make the mouth sound. The fart call. Reppin.

It's called rapping. I got a tip. It's been rapping for 20 years. Now I've seen Mr. T's B somebody or B somebody's fool so many times that when he said it's called rapping, I was legitimately putting a system shock when he did not start rapping. When it did not cut to him. Well, he didn't get the chance because immediately after that. Buffy Robinson is my nephew.

He's one of the fed boys. They bought the Stardee Big Tour, and they managed to get them to lose a few pounds. So you want me to whip him in a shape? Ain't no problem. Listen, you give me a month, and I'm going to have a mean and mean and a- Yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, So Muscleman loses fat. That's no problem, but why they talk like that? We did, we did the right. Mr. T, why come they don't code switch for me, Mr. T? I love that first of all fire that manager,

who is the manager that says, hey, the fat guys, we need to make them lose some way like let's get They should just be boys. They should just be the boys It's not a good thing that it's pronounced fit That's what mr. T was trying to turn it into somewhere somewhere between There's also the mystery so fit he can't even say fat There's also this thing because I you know where I grew where I grew up there, there wasn't a whole lot of black people.

And so, everyone's small, a white kid would come over to our house and my dad would laugh. And they'd be like, what's he doing? What's that sound he's making? I'm like, oh, that's how some black people laugh. I don't know what to tell you, man. Like, it's just laughter. They hit Decker with the laugh.

And I don't, I think that just adds to the confusion. Decker probably had more questions, but he knew at this point to just stop asking them. Like he was, he was so far out of his element that he was just fine just saying nothing else. It's called laughing. It's called laughing. It's called laughing, Decker.

There's so much you unpacked there. First, I love the 80s trope here that everybody is somebody's nephew. If you have a guest star, it's like your cousin. It's your nephew. One of the fat boys is Turner's nephew. Of course. We're all related, don't you know that?

It's more Scooby-Doo shit. It's more like here's the Hillbilly Scooby-Doo guest sorry for the episode. It's the fat boys. And that's the funniest thing you could possibly say. Also, as you hear there, that will continue throughout the entire episode. The fat boys not only rhyme every single line, they speak as a hive mind. Like there's a fat queen and these are her fat drones.

There are roadblocks and there are tomex and zamot. Same time, yes. Do we mix all together into one into one huge unit. I can't wish that when the fat boys came in that his nephew was the Puerto Rican one. That would have just decreed what it's like. Hold on. Now you look like that, but you look like that. Oh, you rhymed it. Oh, you remember that with that. And then they all cry. It's the the same word that you know, it counts. So it's called rapid.

It's called rapid. It's called rapid. It's called rapid. I'm really, yeah, that's gonna be on the soundboard. I think for a long time it's just, that's called rapid. It's called rapid. We are after this we are treated and I do mean treated

to an extended beatboxing, comedic training montage featuring the fat boys. Where the comedic hijinks become part of the training and the training becomes part of the beatboxing, it's incredible. I don't want to buy shame, Master. This was fucking gross. He's were like sweaty, straining shots of guys farting out of their mouths for like 40 seconds. Just a loop of the same five faces, just like,

or while the other ones like pump and some iron. Boop, boop, boop, boop. Because they were looping it into the song. Every time he made, he made the grunt, they had to show him making the big fat grunt again. Because that was now part of the loop of the song. I just kept thinking it was gonna break into a song like about getting into something.

But they just never did. They were, yeah, total waste. They, I know why they, why they were in Canada too. Cause this again, this is 1989. And this is like, these guys were so on their way out. Like, like NWA debuted the year before this. This is like, rapid moved on from the fat boys. So I just, yeah, this is like poison.

The month after Nirvana came out. Yeah, they're like, we gotta go to Canada. They still, they still care about this corny ass, not offensive wrap up there. We're, that's where the money's in. Well, let us continue to wrap as a hive mind up in Canada. They respect it. So that's it for that scene.

That was the entire point of that scene was to culminate in this beatboxing comedic training montage featuring the fat boys. We're back to the back to the high-end grocery store, and we find out the suspect Jonathan Duffy's his real name is a crossing guard helping the kids. And the grocery store owner, Sam Moses, please Mr. Hanlon, he hates this.

He actively hates crossing guards helping children. That's like the extent of villainy they're giving him. And like he's full on grinching. Like there's a contempt, but there's also like a rivalry. Like he, in a way, thinks of this lowly crossing guard as equal as like this, this rival that needs to get destroyed. Which I appreciated.

I also made a note that we're six minutes in and not only have we met the fat boys and they performed most of a song, but we caught the villain and he's already out of jail. Like six minutes. This is why TV was better in the 80s. They had 20 minutes to do an entire 45 minutes at the Sl episodic cereal.

They were like, there's a bunch of evidence in his dumpster that linked him to the crime, but that's it. They're just good with him leaving. And it never really explained what the evidence was. So you never get a chance to question his competence as a criminal. I don't know. There's a lot of questions.

That's because those wings, they will show that he's an incompetent I just noticed that we could have thrown away. He's like a body like what did they have on him? Yeah, he's probably a bit of a blightress. He's probably a bit of a blightress He's probably a bit of a blightress. He's probably a bit of a blightress. He's probably a bit of a blightress. He's probably a bit of a blightress. He's probably a bit of a blightress. He's probably a bit of a blightress. He's probably a bit of a blightress. He's probably a bit of a blightress. He's probably a bit of a blightress. He's probably a bit of a blightress. He's probably a bit of a blightress. He's probably a bit of a blightress. He's probably a bit of a blightress. He's probably a bit of a blightress. He's probably a bit of a blightress. He's probably a bit of a blightress. He's probably a bit of a blightress. He's probably a bit of a blightress. He's probably a bit of a blightress. He's probably a bit of a blightress. He's probably a bit of a blightress. He's probably a bit of a blightress. He's probably a bit of a blightress. He's probably a bit of a blightress. He's probably a bit of a blightress. He's probably a bit of a blightress. He's probably a bit of a blight. He's probably a bit of a blightress. He's probably a bit of a blight. He's probably a bit of a blight. He's probably a bit of a blight. He's, it was like a security guard. He just broke his fucking neck. And that's the deal he is struck with, with the leg basement killer Melvin is that he, Melvin will, will look the other way when he does his trumpet shoplifting.

Melvin's saying she will smoke in the light at the door. In the tomatoes. Yes. The silver angel shoplifts the tomatoes. And it's like, I'm doing a Robin Hood thing, but what he's really doing is hiding a body thing Yes, that's yeah, that's my theory anyway It's Mr. Hanlon

He Taylor comes to interview him and he just to hand it up He he hates that this used to be an affordable grocery store his own words He says it's disgusting that it sold discount laundry soap, and no name, Apple drink. Now, it serves the elite. That was coded racism, bud. Yeah, that was real racist. I got bailed. They only sold juicy juice to darkies,

and I hated it. He also calls the silver angel a costumed curmudgeon, which I think is a direct J. Jonah Jamesin quote. Yeah, I think that's lifted completely from J. Jonah Jamesin dialogue. We needed minutes. We learned Duffy has been thrown out of the store four times for screaming in the aisles about high prices

and wasted goods. Yeah, which sounds legitimately insane. four times for screaming in the aisles about high prices and wasted goods. Yeah. Which sounds legitimately insane. I'm gonna come back here later, or will I, or maybe somebody, maybe the silver angel will pay you a visit, who knows? Who knows that the man's screeching in the aisles has been thrown out for the does.

I like that this really heavily implies that he might be suffering from mental illness. Like this is a man cursed with madness, not like some guy doing the right thing. Like he might just be caring too much. Yeah. Yeah, cursed with caring too much, but no, no, no. He's fucking shrieking at cans of beans and shit.

I just like dressing and dressing his car up like an angel, his truck up like an angel. I think that's one of the classic. I think that's in the DSM is if you dress your truck up like an angel, his truck up like an angel. I think that's one of the classic, I think that's in the DSM, is if you dress your truck up like an angel. Yeah, that's kind of, perhaps gets a pretty, yeah. That's like Burning Man crazy sometimes.

But like I'm just saying that, show makes it very clear, he might be the bad kind of crazy. Yeah, I think it's pretty safe to say right now. There was, by this point, we know Mr. Duffy is the silver angel. The show kind of tries to trick you into thinking that there's this mystery here that like,

it couldn't be him, he's just a feeble old man. And then right away they're like, no, it's fucking out. The only people that don't know that are the two people defending him. It's just a private eyes. It's a private eyes. For an episode. It's just, it's just, it's just all the mystery

for the viewers, but not for the main characters. Right, the main characters. It's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just. He's right about it. Actually, everything, Melvin's a fucking creep. He needs to be stopped. The silver angel is Duffy. It's like, it's too bad he has like us. I talk like a villain's speech impediment. Right. Because if he was just not talking like snydly with the lash and be like,

oh, okay, this is very reason. I can relate to this guy. He's just trying to carve out his little slice of the neighborhood, you know? So back at the law, offices that I guess Mr. T is part of now as they're like in-house private investigator. Taylor says the grocery store is convinced Duffy has a vendetta against them and they have like a resident Ditz who says vendetta. That's an Italian car ain't it? Just, everything that works. Right, this work. Just A plus foundation. No one even look and looks at her. Just miss a bimbo work.

It's, I thought it was ADR at first. I'm like, did they add that later? I don't go back and note her lips are moving. She really said that. Well, she also just walks straight out of the room so like she knows, nobody's paying attention. She's like, yeah, this is a good mindset. I deliver the food, that's, you know.

They're like, you gotta line in this episode. She's like, oh, I got a line, great. And then she reads the life, she's like, God damn's, you know. They're like, you got a line in this episode. She's like, oh, I got a line great. And then she reads the life, she's like, God damn it, you guys. So I get an arc? No. An arc, what's that? And a tagging cart?

No. It's a duke at an arc. You're stupid. That's the same arc as last week. You're stupider. It's a downward arc. Still not. Still not.

There's a very crazy scene here that I know why they do it, but it doesn't work at all. Where everybody in the office starts thinking about poor Mr. Duffy. And what it turns out to do is they just fucking light him up for like three minutes. I of course took the clip. I feel sorry for Duffy. It must be so difficult to live all alone. Stand it for walls. Yeah, nothing to look forward to but getting older every day and sicker and weaker. Not necessarily blind. Almost deaf. I just look

probably stiffening joints. No adventuring. Having no excitement in life. Yeah. Dicks so soft. He's just... He can't even get it up. Armless old man. Just an old piece of shit who's got to die alone. I don't know if this was supposed to be like, they were internalizing, maybe just what it would be like to just get old and they just sort of got lost in that because they're just describing like mortality. Like, they're really sad way.

In the saddest possible way for so long. And then what this, what this, it's just you. But here... Just staring at the walls. I feel like this betrays like what the show is trying to do in failing, is which is to get us to think that, oh, he really is an old man.

Even though it's so obvious that he's the fucking silver angel. So we're like, oh, right. We're being lulled into thinking this old man is like feeble, and then they cut to him like scampering off, as if like that was gonna shock us. We're like, yeah, that's the reveal. It's trying to set up for a reveal here, only it came across like we're just fuckin' roasting

an old man for the crime of aging. Like look at this old dipshit get older, what an asshole. And then at the end, an old man scampers off like, anti-escape, and it's just, it's a crazy scene that I see what you were trying to do but you did every part of it wrong and it was never necessary from the start.

So, definitely from his apartment at the end to his layer, to his secret garage, the Angel Cave where he keeps his costume, Angel Mobile. And I guess I assumed, I just have to assume from all of this like twin revolvers but no, he gets his trumpet, that's his weapon. And like service revolve, we were just missing like a minute,

60 seconds word, like one of them found a file and they're like, holy crap, it's like Harry Brown, he has, he's a decorated war hero with this like incredible background. That's what the American version of this would have done and the Canadian version is like, and he picks up his trumpet. Yeah.

Yeah, he's like, here it, and he picks up his trumpet. Yeah. Yeah. No, he's up as rifle. He tutes his little horn and he announces his intentions. Yeah, he does it before he leaves his garage. He's like sounding his shoplifting horn. Like, so the neighbors will look over and see his silver wing and truck leave the garage. Uh, he does drive right past his neighbor

who just doesn't give a shit. Like nobody cares. It's like, yeah, go steal one bag of groceries in your costume I mean they've tried to make it off like he's got a secret hideout by the way that they filmed it with him scampering off Like down the street and then coming up to this remote garage But apparently it's just his garage behind the house Yeah, he just drives out of it and his neighbor's like yeah, yeah, I know everyone who's really lost Yeah, no, it's exactly who lives there and what he does

Yeah, yeah, I know. I see that I see the way he drops. Yeah, knows exactly who lives there and what he does. He does also get dressed to the fat boys montage workout music that they formed using workout equipment and their mouth. Just because like that's the soundtrack to the episode. Yeah. That's what they had. So everybody will get like a dress. They'll have a chase scene.

They'll just everything happens to the fat boys working out. Getting dressed to the sounds of her behankock. Struggling with a chest fly. So he does, and I love this jump cut again that we see like this truck. He's ready, he's geared up, he's got his little truck, it is truck just blasts off into the night, cut to him arrested again. So immediately arrested. The second he drives off screen, we jump to the police station.

They pick up this old idiot immediately every single time for the crime of wandering the streets at 10 o'clock. He asks to be shown the bathroom and he tells Taylor, it's old age. You don't have much time to go, but you gotta go all the time and they make a wonderful decision here to use a pan flute as the punchline noise, which I've never seen before. God, it's so fucking weird. And it's still like she's the only person

in the viewing audience and the fictional world that doesn't know. She's like, oh, my client could have done it. He pauses for the pan flute and like gets her a look as the pan food. It was American guy. He would be like, you know, it's kind of hard to go to the bathroom by myself at my age.

Who can I, you know, they would have pushed her ignorance a little further than that until like into a full on crime. You give me a hand. The doctor said not to live anything heavy. He forgets his cane in that large black man according to Shroud. It's called rapping. He forgets his cane and that's finally when the attorney grosses his fish is which makes her look again like an idiot. Like the last person in person.

Yeah. She's more hair than brains. So they sign the old man out too hard to, because she's his attorney, and she goes through his personal effects and finds a card for a homeless shelter signed by the priest who runs it. Why is he signing his business? He's so weird. Well, what was that decision? Do they do that in Canada? Why is he signing his business? He autographs it. It's so weird.

What was that decision? Do they do that in Canada? Like it's, you know, when you're screenwriting, you've got to like move from one scene to the other. And this is just like, I don't fucking care. People sign business cards. Pre-sign homeless, shelter business cards. And people keep those in their wallets, right?

It's every little sign of real life. It's just so off. Like I mean, the next scene. I'm saying, I'm crooked, I'm gonna jump onto the table and say, Wait, you should go next to talk to the priest. Goodbye, I'm, plot device cricket, keeping things moving. But I could have just had his name or you could have just not had the name and then introduced the character.

Because I do introduce the character. The weirdest thing you could possibly do is have him sign like his name, like an autograph on it and then her go, oh, the signature. I think, yeah, I think the showrunners realized at this point that like, you know what, we made her so stupid that I think the audience just won't

believe that she had the information through deduction. She needs to just literally spelled out for it at this point. Someone just should have ridden her of a panel and blasted her across the face through deduction. She needs to just literally spell out for it this point. Someone just should have ridden it on a panel and blasted it across the face with it. Now, Robert, do you have a clip of this priest's introduction? I don't. You don't have a sweet like pickup line that he lays down on a.

No, that's a little bit later. First, we cut it back to the gym. First, we come back to the gym. Now, as you're watching the cartoons. Yes. And we realize at this point, well, the fat boys are watching a cartoon, and I would note that the cartoon is all about food, and they love it. Yeah.

Because they're fat, you see. The gym has like a bar. They say that for a restaurant inside of it, and I mean, like not attached to it, like an open air cafe inside next to the boxing ring. Like, it's like a K-Mart day. It's like a K-Mart day. There used to be like a little side area where you can eat nachos. Right. inside next to the boxing ring. Like, I took a camark days to be. There used to be like a little side area where you can see nachos.

Right. It's in the boxing gym. I took it as them doing. I thought they were just like squatting. They're like, if we're gonna be in this gym. Yeah, we're gonna bring picnic table and fuckin' set up. No, this show like the part of the, there's like a bar or the TV that they're watching.

There's, there's, yeah. No, I guess you're right. I just luxury gym. I love this place. When I was watching it. I was chicken here. I assume that's just the fat boys. I know that happened. Yeah.

Yes. Well, they do, they are watching a cartoon where on the, on the television, the cartoon also really likes food and they're just fucking cracking the shit up. Yeah. That's one of those jokes that like bugs me when people are just watching totally ordinary cartoons where nothing funny is happening, just laughing their ass off. It's when they, yeah, it's like this is the public domain shit we could get. Make it work.

Yeah. Really be into this. So the fat boys worked out one time to a montage. They hate it and they are in open revolt. Yeah. Decker comes in and tells them like, okay, let's get back to work guys And they all stand up and charge him as they wrap the bacon wrap All right you guys let's go get up. Oh come on decimates leave us alone

We exercise yesterday ain't that enough. Yeah, I thought you guys are supposed to be tough You're my butt just been my arms is full What they did and my stomach is aching where we need right about now is a pound of baking. One, two or three, some butter and bread. You're on the floor with a coldly fat. You know what I'm saying? No one pumping out a pushing weight. The only low weight caveat is what we ate.

No more sit-ups, no more push-ups, no more cleaves or jerk. Cause all that stuff is just like work. Okay, okay, okay, okay. You know I like your guys if you're skinny or fat. It doesn't matter if your stomach's not flat. They dabbed and they're like, you're all right, Duffy. Yeah, Duffy. Oh, so the software I'm most talking about wasn't in there.

I think they were just talking to each other when this happens. Oh, okay. And I hate that. We can't pull a clip of all of their rapping. Right, right. They speak entirely in love. You says Apple T. We can almost. Instead of appetite. I hate that we can't pull a clip of all of their rapping right right they Entirely in love you says apple T. We can almost instead of appetite and it yeah, that's later and I got it. Oh good Got it's clip. Don't worry. I was like okay John said something insane and bold here and said we can't pull a clip of every time

rap as a hive mind in this Canadian half hour Mr. T television show. Are you an idiot of course we can of course we can I really like how the gym coach is like hey guys. It's okay to be fat. It's like Immediately you can the worst trainer. It's not one time and now it's like My time is this model, but you know what fucking you know I was also asked to do this as a favor to a friend, but also fuck him. Yeah. Whip him into shape. No, Mr. T, I'm gonna buy them another bucket of French again.

I really just can't be their friend. This gets, like, the situation's diffused, but then they get distracted by the local grocery store owners on the news. Like, it's just an interview with a local grocery store owner and the fat boys are like, hey gang, they're gonna be like a local grocery store owner on the news. Shut the fuck up. That's adjacent to food, which is our personality. Okay, so the also the nature of that. The news is here talking to the grocery store owner. And this is the trope that they're trying to do is the master heist where like the museum Titan security so much that they are sure the thief can't get in only it's a fucking grocery store And so what they do the scene straight up that the handling is like my grocery store is now in penetrable

I have the finest in surveillance technology And we can't be asleep this time And openly dares the thief to try it again. However, the store is still open for business, so you can just walk in the front door, as many people as you can. Literally anybody can just walk in. That's fine. And we see that they do, that they in fact do that.

This interview goes so off the rails, because he sees the crossing guard while he's doing this interview and tells the newscaster, there he is, that tells the newscaster, there he is, that's the silver angel, and then he starts screaming directly to the silver angel, while he's like protecting children from traffic accidents, he's like, you probably never knew escargot in your life, you wouldn't know caviar, if you sat in it, he's like, fucking, well hold on, while the crossing guard physically runs away, terrified, yes, because this man is losing his fucking mind

Yeah, but he also does it while he takes his stop side and like holds it over his face And I was like what a brilliant thing to do I wish I had a side that would just when people started making fun of me I could just hold up a sign that says please stop and just run away with it on there However, that was his mistake Mr. T realize old man run old man Yeah, so now he thinks like now Mr. T realized, old man run, old man run. So now he thinks like, now Mr. T is in on it. You can tell when he's thinking because it's bowtie spins. It really should. You can mentally reinsert that back. So back at the law firm, the lawyer Taylor has called in the priest,

who says, who introduces himself to her and he says, I joined under a misconception, I joined the priesthood under a misconception, I thought I was taking a vow of celebrity. That's the one. So he's trying to fuck, right? He's trying to fuck because that's what that line means. Yeah. Because the vow was of celibacy and he's saying like,

I didn't know. I think it was about that. I did not take a vow of celibacy. I took a vow of celebrity. I'm the famous priest who likes to fuck. The famous priest. The famous priest that women call, at all hours of the night.

I could barely pay attention to the priest because I was like, furiously taking notes about how crazy I thought it was that this guy was in the middle of a news interview just screaming at some crossing car. And they just like, how is that not like the main story? Like okay, we were interviewing a story about some robberies, but like then he lost his mind.

Like that's your fucking story. Local villain, you'll never know what it is to love or to be loved crossing on. Face me, coward. We're still alive, buddy. So the priest is a son of a bitch, right? The priest, like, is here talking to the lawyer. The lawyer, she is on Duffy's side,

like trying to get him off, and the priest just immediately knocks him out. Like, not just an arki, he's super knocked him out. Oh yeah, no, he's the silver angel, he's stealing, and I'm consuming these stolen goods. Right, like she's trying to lead him and she's like, oh, are you telling me that, dot, dot, dot? And that's like any other scene would just leave it off there.

Like, huh, he's implying it. And then he jumps in and says, Mr. Duffy is the silver angel? Yes. Yeah, absolutely. Just so you know, I am knocking, I am in the process of knocking. Can you write that down?

Narcking. He delivers us stolen goods. I accept those stolen goods and I use them. Am I a Jedi? I love it. I just love talking right now. So for the listeners, I want to recap. There's a shoplifter who's arrested for shoplifting.

The cops know he did it, the store owner knows he did it. His cover is these two unaware and confused to have done it, but that cover did not cost him. His job is these two unaware and confused to have done it, but that cover did not cost him. His job is a crossing guard where those are the only two exact things you should not be. So then for 10 minutes, his lawyer was fooled and now she's starting to get it. And the private detective is now starting to get it because you could tell from the bowtie spinning. So here are the stakes. Will and elderly shoplifters lawyer find out he's guilty before he sentenced, guess starring the fat boys. There's nothing, the priest has said, clearly

unequivocally, that then that he did it. There's nothing left to do, the show is over. We can quibble about wealth distribution and trolley problems, what are the fuck the femists, but this fucker is in the cogs of the justice system. It's done, it's out of Mr. T and the ladies' hands. I mean, to be fair, the very first scene was that, the first scene they had arrested him. They were like, we have some evidence, we know it's him. And then the rest of the show is about the lawyer

and Mr. T trying to understand that. Did you think the director should understand the one five minutes of like, that's it. We did it. That's the story. And they're like, bro, got 20 more minutes left. So let's have them try to understand what that cop said in

the first line of the show. Like that's all the rest of the show is, is them being like, wait a minute. What if what if that police man was right? Yeah, he knows he was right. He's already under arrest and in the process of going to court.

It's just a series of like letting the viewer know there is no twist. There's no twist coming. That whatever you thought we were gonna do, we're not. It's, we're done. The story's done. I do think that's what the fat boys are here to do. I think the fat boys were pretty big twist.

Yeah. Because when you come back to the fat boys back at their boxing beast row and they're eating a lot in the food, and they wrap about how eating a lot in the food, you know, it's a lot like criminal acts of charity. Ha ha ha. Yo, I feel a lot more better since I have my watch.

Yeah, man, these last two drumsticks is miles so much. Boys boys, don't forget that there's people out there that they got 30. No, man, why you trying to spoil my attitude? No, I was just saying that we should try Okay, that last line Taylor comes in and he's looking at her legs she walks right past him like a foot away and he says that's straight to her. Yeah. This is eating a just a huge drumstick covered in chicken juice. I really like.

It's a job of the hot moment. She didn't even notice though. Like, like, there's an obese squatter in a boxing gym eating a bucket of chicken, talking about switching to eating her legs, and she just ignores it like, like she's on a beach walk. And it's a distant elephant seal. Yeah, she didn't even like clear him as a threat.

Like he was. Didn't even exist. Yeah, make a move, buddy. I will be out of here by the time you get out of that chair. So Turner and Taylor both meet up and they go, okay, yeah, Duffy is guilty, right? And they agree, they understand now. He's guilty. Taylor said, up and they go, okay, yeah, Duffy is guilty, right? And they agree, they understand now. He's guilty.

Taylor said, tells Mr. T, but he's giving the food away to the homeless, and Mr. T says, still a crime, maybe. What? I know he's supposed to be like the straight-laced tough guy in the 1980s, but that feels crazy even for him. If there's something this character should do, he should trust the law.

This character, the one arrested for a crime he didn't commit and forced into a life of private detective slavery. He's that he let her the log guy trust. He's like, he puts his presence. He's like, all right, Amanda, like, let's not mess with this delicate balance. It's keeping me on the streets. I don't want to go back. That is true. So the fat boys then all agree it is they who must rescue the silver angel because they like food and he's stealing food so they're on the same side. Mark, he has a master plan, a genius plan requiring him to take off and put it into action.

There's another montage this time of Mr. T getting dressed in a leather jacket and boots. That's a fucking suicide. This is like classic Sam Raimi shit. Full evil, that yeah. It is implied. Correct me if I'm wrong. It's implied that he puts his fists on, right?

Yes. He puts his fists on. He puts his fists on. And then he puts his fists on. He puts on three pairs of boots, 17 shirts, and 45 fists. And 25 fists. Yeah puts on three pairs of boots, 17 shirts, and 42 shirts. 25 fists. And then like this, he's like,

he's like, he's like, he puts his fists on and it goes, like he's punching the air. It's so fun, dude. So it's forced, the air gets fucked. And it's slapped. His cart is, oh my goodness. I'm actually fully straight right here.

Yeah, it really is. It looks like, uh, I was expecting to be like a camouflage car, like Nightwing's car, where it looks like a piece of shit on the outside, but you get inside, it's got like crime equipment and radar and stuff. Right. But no, no, he's just, it's just a hot-sheet. It's just a hot-sheet.

You're all brust bucket, yeah. Yeah. So we're gonna get a Ford on a private, X-Cod private-eye salary. Let's not do that. It is the legit. I mean, what else is he gonna try? He's been sentenced. He's been sentenced to drive that.

So they show up at Delphi's house, meeting his landlord who still does not give a shit that this is clearly the silver angel. As Delphi races past them in his tinsel truck with wings that he keeps behind his house. And it's kind of treated like, oh, we got the proof now. Well, we saw him do that. Like, what is it?

What does it, what does it fucking take? What does it take? It's watching them try to understand it for so long. But that's okay, the fat boys have acquired the materials necessary for their big plan. It's too good. It's too genius to reveal now, but we will get to it later.

We're doing that thing where we build up, like Maghiver is building a tank out of the parts of this boxing piece. It's just something. It's just like that, yeah. So they somehow beat the silver angel to the grocery store, even though we just saw him peeling ass out of there.

And we saw Mr. T's car, so that's the son of the Mr. T's that he has been sent to drive us a punishment for murder. We sentence you to wear a suit and drive this car. Handling, Mr. Handling the grocery store owner is delivering some fucking ace villainy here. I just want to celebrate a true Canadian villain. Well, if it isn't the loyal defenders of the senile angel, you know? You know.

You're not. You're not. You're just like a vampire from the Underworld series. He's so good. He is. He is as well as his eye. If it isn't the likens, the bottom-feeding hairy dogs of the supernatural world. He's like a Nazi that's right about to get his come up in an Indiana Jones movie.

Yes. Like comedically so. My face is melt proof. I'll prove it to you now. You're no joke. I was gonna say that like the listeners, they know this from this tone of voice, but while he was saying all that,

he was like picking Lint off of Mr. Cheese Chess, just being very physically disrespectful, like straightening out his tie like you would a child. Like I saw this and I was like, Mr. T, what the fuck? Like I don't even know how as a toothless Canadian Mr. T is wasted. There's like as an acting joy, Mr. T the person should have killed that actor is what you bring Mr. T in. Yeah, that's the only reason he's he's he's he's he's keep is a keeps it bottled in as long as he can until he becomes completely unhinged and just fucking does what needs to be done. Yeah, however this was

directly after the A team was canceled. This is what he's doing. So he might have had his spirit broken and they were just taking advantage of it. He may have done that thing too, where he's like, I'm more than just rage and muscle. I'm an actor, God damn it, I got range. I can show you this man. I'm not killing this man. Yeah.

That's acting. So the Silver Angel slips into the grocery store because it's just open, it's an open grocery store. People, we see people shopping. Everyone can see him. He has to walk around people in the aisles like picking out pasta. He starts playing his trumpet again, his shoplifting trumpet, drawing every guard in the place. I think at this point, I get it. This is suicide by grocery store cop. Yeah. Like he's old. He's an old piece of shit. He's an asshole. He's only getting older.

Yeah, like he's old is it an old piece of shit. He's an asshole. He's only getting older He wants to die by cop by that by well cop adjacent by By grocery store security guy by the finest security money can buy You're right. They are the elite They have matching uniforms and everything he defeats them with several cans. He tosses one of them a pineapple and he like dives from it. He's like, oh, he like his legs stop working because he's touching a pineapple.

I've never been past something clear. He catches the pineapple. He just catches it and then he dives from it. Yeah. There's also a little bit of grenade. One of the cops falls in the pile of tomato sauce cans and I appreciated that he knew this was his moment because he just starts doing the breaststroke.

I can't, you're like, you got four seconds of screen time. You know this is it for you. He's not gonna waste it. The fat boys now bust into the store dressed in bridal moumous with tinsel halos. This is their plan to dress up like the silver angel, but like their own interpretation of it. Just like the silver angel. I think, okay, of it. Just like the silver angel, yeah.

I think, okay, here's what I think, because this plan accomplishes nothing and could never accomplish nothing. I think the idea on paper was that this is a distraction. Oh no, there are four silver angels now, the fat boys have shown up. But I think, right, these fucking loony-tuned guards would notice

the different outfits that there are three of them, and that they are now 400 pound black men who wrap us a hive mind. Like I think they would notice. Yeah, because the different angels look kind of a Hollywood-highland robot man, and the fat boys are, they're like Christmas tree angels.

Yes. And so they're not anywhere close to say, aside from the size differences, and how one is one man by himself and the other one is three men and a 12 foot wide phalanx. I think the real plan here is that the fat boys understood that once the police saw like a more enticing prey the cops would just shift their attention to like the three threatening black man, right? Don't belong in this store. They can't afford a brand juice talking in a way that we can't describe So it's they make sounds with their mouths get them

It's like the reverse of how you're supposed to help Minorities in trouble with the police as a white person Mm-hmm. It's the minority saving the white person. Like savior. Run white man, there's no way they can resist us. I didn't expect this fucking episode to take that turn, but that's why you brought me out here, right? So there's a freak out the squares, Scooby Doo fucking chase scene where the high end

shoppers are all gasping as the fat boys Handling and the security guards are pursuing several angels of different sizes and makes all Spend up. It's all sped up. Well, they edit their plays with every wipe effect in Canada spinning Spinning doors doing star wipes Finally, I really liked how they got caught many times. Like the silver angel would get grabbed and then they would just cut away, like, oh, fuck, we can't use that tape.

They're just playing games. They were just playing tag. They let him go. The catch and release, you know? And the fat boys are running around in this. Again, like this is part of the plane or this is helping somehow, but it never in the hijinks, they never assist.

They don't ever, they don't even give the shit the fat boys are there. They're not once being like chased by mistake. There's no part of this. They're not. Yeah, they're just running through the store like idiots. What with the plan? Possibly on a separate shoot day. I don't think they interact with the idea. That's true. Yeah, you don't see anybody with them.

Yeah. Anyway, finally, Hanlon, the grocery store manager, trips the silver angel into a big pile of apples. He grabs him by the lapels and delivers another moment of fine Canadian villainy. I've got you to crazy, geriatric, bitch-alanty, you super-annuated lunatic. Oh, there it was. There it goes.

He said the quiet part out loud. So Mr. T interrupts this. He arrives and he does another trope that goes completely insane halfway through. They do a nice little cheerleading routine. He pits Hanlon up and starts to move him aside. You've seen every Hulk Hogan movie between the two of you at least a hundred times. You know this. He's comes in, he lifts up the guy

and he sets him down somewhere else as like a show of power, like you're an infant to me. That's the trope. What Mr. T does is he starts hopping him up into the air over and over again until he is now holding just Hanlon's ankles with his arms perfectly straight and outright so that Hanlon through an act of astonishing core strength.

Oh yeah, excellent muscle control that Hanlon through an act of astonishing core strength. Oh yeah. Excellent. I'm also controlled by Hanlon. I was astounding. Astounding feats of strength by Hanlon is now like balancing perfectly in Mr. T's palms as Mr. T raises his arms zombie like in front of him and stomps across an entire store with him like this while Hanlon makes a series of faces, like increasingly large raccoons are crawling up his asshole. It goes on for a crazy amount of time in like weird silence as he does this zombie walk that is totally inexplicable. It's one of the craziest things I've ever seen. There was something about Hanlon's face

when he first picked him up, like by the ankles. And I don't know what it was. I thought for a second that Hanlon was replaced by some weird Cronenberg animatronic dummy, and something's really bad was gonna happen, don't they? There was just something uncanny valley about him, and that split second when he lifted him up,

that I was like, oh no. Did the paper mishag. Yeah, I was like, where's this gonna go? He's gonna have a scatter style head exposed. He's gonna burst, he's gonna clap his ears. He did a low-up hunting element to it, where you're like, something's wrong here. Like, something terrible is gonna happen to this man.

I don't know, I have to tell you. It was like Pultr, guys, when the guy was about to tear his own face off, and there was that wipe where he was a normal guy, and then it cuts back, and he's very clearly like a weird animatronic head. It's gonna be torn apart. It is such an effective 15, 20 seconds of dread and tension. You're like, what?

Something is very wrong. And then he just throws him 50 feet into a pile of eggs and says, sorry brother, nobody touches an angel. So, so no punch on that. Like what is that in reference to do? There's not a pun or a callback or a fucking it's not anything Yeah, and then he touches four different angels The most inconsistent like fickle beast in this episode

He's just if you do something entertaining he will switch sides like the last time he was like no I still cry. Maybe now he's like nobody touches him like yeah, what are you just mark your goal and insane? What do you just mark curial and insane? So the fat boys bust into the scene, still dressed like angels and having accomplished, as we've determined absolutely nothing. Yeah. Like to the extent that I think the show forgot, they were supposed to be doing something.

And they all high five Mr. T, like yep, team effort here. So Duffy takes off his glasses and it's like, what am I seeing? Are these for a fat angel? And Mr. Hanlon does Oscar worthy face acting about the horrors of seeing these eggs. It's like his brains are like coming out of his eyeballs. He's just looking at them like, I've been destroyed.

And that's, then we just signed the price of eggs these days. I don't blame him. And he overcharges. Did you see the price of eggs in 1988. I wouldn't I don't blame him and he overcharges I see the price of eggs in 1988 Canada. I think they were at least a dollar 99. I think they paid you The great Canada eggs are plus. Yeah, almost destroyed the nation We cut to the courtroom immediately that scene like that scene wraps fucking anything up Taylor Taylor has already offscreen gotten duffy off somehow because we're out of time because it's a 20 minute.

I've never seen so much like tell, don't show fucking TV. So they do this entire like offscreen courtroom drama because that's like half this show, right? Like half this show as they promise in the premise is they're gonna investigate this crime. Mr. T is gonna do all the street work. He did, we forgot to mention it. He did put on his little Sherlock Holmes hat, though,

at one point. Yeah, he dressed like Sherlock for that entire chasing. I can't believe there's so much going on, we forgot to say Mr. T dressed up like Sherlock. He put a little Sherlock. After he equipped his fist, I don't think they showed him put it on, but then he just shows up outside of his little hat.

And I was like, oh look at that, he's ready to, that's his thickin' cap. He's ready to do it. He's been sentenced to be a detective. You expect something else at the end of that, but no, that's the end of the show. The end of the show happened off camera.

Yeah. And they're just going to tell you about it. And when I say Mr. T was like fickle and mercurial, he just high-fived all the fat boys in the last scene, right? Their best friends, they did it together, they didn't, but that's the vibe. Nobody did anything together. It was great. Yeah, so like the standard format would be like, Mr. T's the muscle, he pounds pavement, you know, he ruffs people up to get answers and then the other girls do in doing the research neither one of them do any of that There's they're just both clueless until they're until someone just flat out tells them. Hey, there's your guy

Like that's your that's your boy right there, right? Yeah, he's driving the the crime truck Like I don't think anybody a lot of disbelief, but this store owner hates the poor. He hates them the silver angel, especially. And yet Mr. T throwing him through some eggs like made him turn his entire life around. He decided to be a good guy. The maniacs at trash the store, or he drops all the charges.

He's now sides with the proletariat. Like he gives a job to the silver angel. Yeah, he hires him. There's something about like, something was gonna make him look bad. And I don't know if that was him getting thrown through eggs or it turning out the silver angel being a hero or that he was being fooled by such an old man.

I think like Sean said, he realized he saw that interview he gave where he was a complete fucking maniac. That's what I have. That's me. Is that who I sell? That has to be it. I've gotten, oh, I'm a villain. Oh, I'm snidely whiplash I just got it. I've never heard myself on TV before do I sound like that is that what I sound like I Was taking mint off people they're taking it wrong. I'm trying to help

You know So then Mr. T is now terrified though of the fat boys as we hear in the final rap. He hears beatboxing ascending through the elevator. Oh no, like not this again. But he was delighted with their presence almost every single other minute. Literally just high five them.

This has been 30 seconds. Literally was a fat boy. I was thankful and I was praying that it wasn't gonna happen as soon as the fat boys came into the courtroom and started rapping. I was like, please don't make the old man rap. Please don't make the old man rap. Pretty close though. He does every move.

Every move. You know, he does some little like hip hop moves, which I was like, I'll allow it. I'm not. But it becomes my name is definitely hit. I'm here to see. I like how but homeless in a crazy way like I I would have I really like got it fall Racial exploitation movies when it's like oh here's the black person here's the white person

They have to like learn each other's differences because at the end of those movies There's always like an old lady who's like I'm going to hit the chronic my shizzles and and I really always love that moment And I was kind of hoping for that from this old man. See, I think that is this moment. All right, so it's just finished painting it. They, they Mr. T here's the distant beatboxing of the fat boys like it's the fucking water glass from Jurassic Park.

He's just like, oh my God. I know what's coming. The elevator's open, they're already full wrapping. Everyone in the halls, which are judges, bailiffs, lawyers and criminals, everyone gathers around and starts hip hop dancing like 1980s, white Canadians. The whites get funky.

There's a guy in a hoodie and blazer, presumably like he's one of the criminals like on parole violations or something. He hops into the circle and starts doing the like one big arm up, one big arm up dance. Everybody's just, yeah. He's doing the big arm examination dance. And then all the fat boys surround and start wrapping at Duffy while he does like old-timey Charleston break dancing.

I think that counts as like, I'm hitting the shizzle my little, that's the best thing. I kind of feel like he was always with it though. I don't feel like Duffy had to like grow into that. He was always at the streets. So don't feel like Duffy had to like, grow into that. He was always at the streets. So, you know, he earned his car the second, he played the trumpet to some of the cops when he started chocolate.

You know what, he should have just started doing some like, what is this, is this music? And then he should have joined in with his trumpet. And like, and then be like, oh snap, he's a shit. That would have been way better. Yeah, that's, yeah. It's not a shoplifting violin,

it's a shoplifting horn section. Yeah, like this. They did that in a, that old Dan Accrad movie, Nothing But Trouble. You guys ever seen that? It's a digital one. Yeah, it starts performing and then Dan Accrad joins in with this old organ.

They should have done that. They should have done another trouble. Yeah. But nothing else about that movie. No, that movie's fucking. That's the one. Nothing else. Nothing else.

That should have come out of that movie. Oh, he's fucking hell. That's the one here, that's the one like a sleep. That should have come out of that movie. Oh he's fucking classic. So do you have any final thoughts on this because I am going to play us out the clip? Yeah, I have some final thoughts. Fucking treasure this earth. This somehow, none of us know about this all of these years. And now we do and I want us to treasure it.

All we have, this is like our jobs is to know about this kind of shit. However, it's interdisciplinary. It's just as disappointed as you are in yourselves. We have 60 more episodes of this to discover. It's a beautiful day. Treasure it. It's a beautiful time to be alive. What a bright future we have.

Oh no. Now we're the bad boys as you can see. But we're not the heroes of this story. Just go up the wheels and I do make Duffy. A big arm stance. It all matter how old, all when he was born. Just become his over 60, don't mean that he's one. With the Duffy ace, the ordinary man.

I'd definitely break it down. He looked at us for people who don't have a super-heir- He's a super-heir- He's a super-heir- He's a super-heir- He's a super-heir- He's a super-heir- He's a super-heir- He's a super-heir- He's a super-heir- He's a super-heir- He's a super-heir- He's a super-heir- He's a super-heir- He's a super-heir- He's a super-heir- He's a super-heir- He's a super-heir- He's a super-heir- He's a super-heir- He's a super-heir- He's a super-heir- He's a super-heir- He's a super-heir- He's a super-heir- He's a super-heir- He's a super-heir- He's a super-heir- He's a super-heir- He's a super-heir- He's a super-heir- He's a super-heir- He's a super-heir- He's a super-heir- He's a super-heir- He's a super-heir- He's a super-heir- He's a super-heir- He's a super-heir-

He's a super-heir- He's a super-heir- He's a super superhero with the heavenly name. He's an angel. Yeah, he's an angel. He's an angel. So so angel. So so angel. Cool. He's an angel.

He's an angel. So so angel. So cool. Cool. Cool. Thanks. Toothpaste. Toothpaste.

I'm Son Houder, Frankfurt. I'm Son Houderundert Frankfurt. Ich bin Hundert Frankfurt. In der Podcast-Kanal, um mich maximal im Schaum. Lock Frankfurt Podcast, Kundeck, ja! Die Kraft ist nicht,

die Kraft ist nicht, die Uhr nicht, die in der Hundezone, die Uhr nicht, die Uhr nicht, die Uhr nicht, die Uhr nicht, die Uhr nicht, die Uhr nicht, die Uhr nicht, die Uhr nicht, die Uhr nicht, It's Hot Dog Junction, America's last comedy, Children's Variety, Trivia, Keahaw laughing

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