The Dogg Zzone by 1900HOTDOG - Dogg Zzone 9000 - Episode 154, Reader Mail With Just Us Boys

Episode Date: December 20, 2023

Seanbaby and Brockway answer reader mail! Mail! From! Readers! GET HYPE FOR INSIDE HOT DOG TALK.

1,900 hot dog! 1,900 hot dog! A podcast slammed with maximum height! Say hot dog podcast worked! Yeah! We need to taste that nitrate power! You're in the dog zone for an hour! Come on!

You know the number! 1,900 hot dog! One nine hundred hot dog. One nine hundred hot dog. One nine hundred hot dog. One nine hundred hot dog. One nine hundred hot dog. One nine hundred hot dog. One nine hundred hot dog.

Yeah, nine thousand. Welcome to the Doctor 9000, the official podcast, 1900HopDoc.com, the final media website, the only place you can find high effort comedy articles daily, support our All Star cast of hilarity technicians at Patreon, Patreon.com, slash 1900HopDoc, it rules, I am the inventor being funny on the internet, Sean Baby, and my partner is Der Hankenberg's Serk Gustavson von 2000 The Great Rubberporkway!

I don't speak German, I'm assuming that was deeply insulting. How dare you? How dare you? Here's a thematic Prokway fact. I once had to do a photo shoot for a magazine that involved shaving me and putting on eyeliner. No follow up questions. Oh, I mean, I saw the pictures there.

I got them embroidered on my pillows. Today we are doing Reader Mail. Bless this mess. This mess, yeah, we've never done this before, but I think it's gonna work. We got, we actually got a lot of good and insightful questions from Twitter and Discord. I don't know if you have experienced with this type of thing,

but I've normally found this to be a disaster because there's nothing really worse than a zany joke question. And that's usually what you get when you're like, hey, everybody, we're doing a meter mail. But anyway, we'll probably talk a lot about writing, process and that part will suck, but we'll also talk about ourselves

and we are fascinating national partners. That part will rule. That part's good, that's so much as. I wish it was just congratulations to the listeners. Yeah, if people have really long memories, I used to have a guest book on my website, like way back in the day, like in the late 90s, early 2000s. And now for our younger listeners, like, yes, right. It was like a comment section, exactly like a comment section, but that's not what we called it. I mean, what I did is I took it and I took the get the the guest book entries and then on the other side I would add my response and I was

overwhelmingly negative like I just had no patience. I was a monster dick and This sort of ended up being the game at that point like people were like, oh, I'm gonna say something intentionally stupid and that definitely got Like a roasting but not the kind they were going for right or maybe that was. We have things now called lull cows, you see on the internet where someone will fuck with like the mentally ill and then get them to do silly things. So it was sort of it was like that where people would play ill person. Yes, right, where they would try to fuck with me because they liked seeing me get grouchy. And so very quickly, I can see how like

what we've done is socially engineer like an unhappiness, like chain reaction, for me alone. So I kind of quit doing that. And I think for probably maybe five or six other media outlets, I've done a version of reader mail in it. Almost always it is just like Here's a here's a question that's so funny and then your response is like yeah, okay, fucking great question like who would We fucking answer that you fucking idiot, but we didn't get much like that, which is great

I it's hard to resist I know people when they write to I'm sure you get a Famile like this where someone's just trying to be funny It's just you know Every funny. And it, it's just, you know. Every once in a while, one time, yeah, I think just the one time, one time I got it in person at a con and they just followed me around.

Just trying to be funny at me and leaving me no like, so there has to be an opening for me to do something too, but it was just like, you think you're, like they had prepared a a tight I want to say a nice tight 120 and they just were like I was just there to like not along and I was terrible that was a bad con. Yeah that sounds fucking terrible. I mentioned this in the podcast, but I had a folder called cheese whizzle and it was it would search emails for the words cheese and whizzle and dump them into like a spam Like a local spam because when when people are trying to be funny with their with their fucking nonsense They just sort of end up on those wheat. Yeah, they just send up on those words

I eventually those words became like bacon or you know, whatever whatever the fuck, but like, for a few years there, I got a lot of cheese wheezes. Got me a lot of cheese wheezes. So I don't know, are you looking forward to this? This was kind of thrown together. I was just, it's nice, I think, to interface with readers every now and then. What if I said no right now,

and we just stopped the podcast, and that was the podcast? We'll put it up. That's fine too. I was suggesting, hey, we should watch an episode of TNT, and then just the bit would be we bail on this five minutes in, but you're like, no, no, no. We're doing the reflecting,

that I don't, I can't foresee too many occasions where I have to be earnest, which is the part where I'm uncomfortable But yeah, no, we can do some we can do some questions or or Fucking always do TNT. Yeah, when you watched any more of them I watched the Ninja one and the gypsies won. I haven't watched any yet I was saving those for a special occasions. I started to watch the parrot one the good one I The parrot one.

I mean, ninja is top of my list. I like ninjas. That was the one I was just. No, it does not disappoint. It absolutely can. Because they make up what they think ninjas are. Like, they know that they dress in black and beyond that, they're like, nobody knows what.

Nobody knows. That's Japanese. This is 90. Very mysterious. Like, you can't, you you can look it up. I Imagine that there's some budget concerns too. So like are we gonna ninja stuff, but like he can't do anything cool Now I see in camera effects Yeah, I mean he can't do anything like special effects. It's true, but yeah, but there's some ninja shit

There's definitely some ninja shit in there and really if you're asking for more than ninja shit happens and Mr. T is present I I don't even know what to tell you. I don't know that you're basking too much. You have enough It's Well, let's get started on our questions. We have one that I got on Twitter from Ace and They they write How can I write for a 1900 hotdog? Which is actually like... Next question. Yeah, a second. We have, yeah, I guess we're kind of pretty saturated with writers, which is an excellent problem now. But for aspiring writers, I should let you know, this avenue for creative expression is dead,

where the last one's doing it, and we're full. But writing samples are good, of course. I think, but yeah, obviously, everyone writes comedy articles like we enjoy, they're either dead or already working with us. I'd say, despite writing samples being so important, I think a pitch is probably more important. For us, especially, it demonstrates that you have a good eye for the kind of crazy that works as a hot dog article. So, I use this example a lot. If someone pitches Sharknado, that's nothing. That's like less than nothing. Even assuming you could describe Sharknado in a funny way what's the story. Maybe I sound like an asshole, but there kind of has to be like a hook or some sort of second surprise weirdness. Otherwise, you're just a guy who watched Sharknado and came to the only possible

conclusion that that wasn't a good movie. So if I'm being completely honest, you sometimes don't find these hooks until you start working. So there's a lot of wasted time in this endeavor. There's a lot of articles, yes, definitely. There's a lot where I start and I think I'm just going to like roast something in-ept, right? And then I discover the hidden hot dog. I just did a spanking book pretty recently and I was like the beginner's guide to spanking. I thought that was very funny and very square. And then as I read

the book I realized what was funny about the book is that the author was such a narcissist that she have sort of created this very insular stupid little world where she's like so special and unique. So the whole book was about how she could get spent or do the spanking, which is, no one's in people think that doesn't exist. Like she's the only one. And I thought that was the fascinating part. Stuff like that happens. Debel is a probably the best example of this because he was like an ordinary sex creep writing pickup guides. But then his publishing history, it tells the story of who failing and failing and turning that desperation into this second, like extra level of desperation where he's writing books.

So the hidden's literally about how to beg God to take away the sadness. The hidden, you're saying the hidden comedy hook and Diveable was that there was more sadness than you would expect. Yes, a supernatural level of sadness. And that's where the comedy comes out. Otherwise, that's what's funny, baby. Because I think everyone fucks at least for a few years of their life and where they're like, oh, I understand how to tell people how to do this, right?

Like you get laid, you're like, oh, I could just recreate that for others. So it's not interesting that someone figures out that that's impossible to do or they're not good at that Listen, but you just you just do as I do right for a step kill your dog You got to kill your dog every single time like that you she'll try to give it mouth to mouth You act horrified she'll feel terrible about herself one man would want her She just made out with the dead dog boom checkmate. This is a real Don Debel story. He has copy and pasted for decades. That's one, it's his most successful story.

I would say so, yes. So yeah, he's deep as shit. I would say not all the stories are external like that, but sometimes like just describing a movie or a book and have its own narrative structure or framing device or a presentation that makes it work That being said it I don't think I'd trust that in a pitch from someone who wasn't proven like if the someone came to me said Sharknado, but like a coloring book that would probably just piss me off more than the Sharknado part And I should say The Sharknado style pitch is probably like 80% what we would get.

It's true. Yeah, we get a lot of maybe not just a one nine hundred. It's not exclusive to Hato. It was a crush too. It's just it's like most people that want to do this don't actually have like I guess they don't have a cursed library that has been carefully nurtured over several decades to contain only material that is anti-life. So it feels like you're talking specifically about me now. I'm getting there, I'm getting there myself. So it's an uphill battle to actually get something that's that weird that they should cover. And then it comes down to a pitch and it's just it's hard to do.

And then everybody, because nobody on the internet does this, because this does not exist anymore, all those people have other jobs, all the smart people don't have real jobs. So... Sure. And the ones that didn't, uh, baby, we got them all. We're scheduled out to, I think, like, late January, February, something like that. And only getting more. So.

Yeah. And they're all great. It's, yeah, rules. But, uh, like, when, uh, Swam said he could do, uh, biweekly, and you're like, you say to me, like, yeah, I'm, that's more spots than we have. I'm like, fuck, and we got to squeeze them in. Like, I'm not going to, this is fantastic. It's a great problem to have. Yeah, we had to delete a day. Yeah, we'll just we used to get rid of, we'll get rid of Wednesday to make

room for more comedy. Yep. So that's, I love it. It is the best job. I would encourage other people to find a way to make it work But it doesn't where the only one sorry. Yeah, but there are two spots and we have them Right, and if you're not take you if you if you take us What you fair play Sure if you take us on rubly it's highlander rules Everybody will rejoice Well, are we going through? Everyone, these are picking our favorites,

because there is, I wanna say a hundred. There's a lot of them, but I wanna, let's go through and if we bail on one, we can just cut it. There's some towards the bottom that I wanna, that I wanna come into. Let's wanna make sure we're getting it. You wanna pick the next one, that's fine.

Okay, let's do one that's more Mechanical here's here WDB to the two was Roman for two asks Also what happened to the Poxco store? That's a that's more to do with the site and we get that a lot I'll answer that now. It's gone. It's gone is your answer. It died. It died shirts were bad No, the shirts. I. The shirts were bad. No, the shirts, I mean the shirts were kind of bad. They're wrong. But they started, no matter what you ordered, they started sending people a shirt that just

said 1969 on it. And we couldn't get them to stop. Yeah. And they just, they don't have anybody that answers questions. There's some sort of robot that they have running on the whole thing and the robot was like, everybody gets 19, 69 chart and we couldn't do anything about it. So we deleted it and we could find a new venue,

but they're all like this and it sucks. So like, I don't know. I was looking at Printful, which is another fucking exact same thing and I'm just not jazzed about. I like took the wind out of my sails to do the dozens of hours of work, just for a fucking robot to decide that shipping bin six is what everybody gets now.

Yeah, so until we can be like, you know, I thought up with a good store then we're probably just, we're just not gonna sell shirts. Yeah, I was gonna like selling merchandise. And it was great, it was great getting like, I was jazzed on like hiring, hiring Rusty and hiring MVP and Will Black and Brett Ellison and whoever else we can get to just do funny shirts.

Like that's great, I love it, but it sucks that there's no good way to actually get that product to somebody. So what we were kicking around, we don't know if it's gonna happen, is locking the store to like a tier and then just making everything at cost so that we don't make profit on it. And you can just buy whatever design

on whatever you want and deal with it from there. Sure. You do it. You do it is the answer. What happened to the podcast store? You didn't start one. This is another good technical question, Michael Foley asked if we have any plans for a completely meets based podcast. I would say no, but I got

nothing against it. Like if you want to do sketchfest or something, that might be fun, but I'm not a big public performer guy, that's kind of why I got into writing and not TV stuff, because whatever wiring people have that makes them perform, I do not have. I don't like before it happens, I don't like when it happens, and after it's over, I'm more happy that it's over than I'm like, yes, we fucking did something together.

Yeah, I'm the same way. I don't, I try all by fire, I learn from not mind it so much because when I did the book tours for my novels, hey, I'm gonna plug my novels. That's a good idea. I don't get anything for that, never mind. Fuck those guys.

Don't read, readings for chumps. Now, when I did my book tours, they put the for my novels, they put me on a lot of venues and the very first one was San Diego Comic Con on a panel with a lot of other just real out of my league heavy hitters. And that was my first public appearance in like a professional capacity ever. And there was like 5,000 people there. I had no, no, there was no briefing. There was nothing. They were just like, all right. Jesus. Let's go. And then after that, I had to do that every single day

in a different city for like two weeks. And then, you know, we did the tours a couple of times. Again, I learned that I'm not great at it. I don't like it. Other people don't like it. And, uh, Did other people tell you were good at it though? Like, are you just being too hot?

Okay. No, so you might really not be good at it. No, I'm very much not good at it. They told me that I was be good at it. No, I'm very much not good at it. They they told me That I was not good at it and why Sometimes I think I think you're good on the podcast if that if you're like Fishing for compliments. That's me and you and like somebody else talking though. That's not performance like those Yeah, for people and I'm cut like I I said, I learned to get comfortable with it

so I don't mind so much, but I don't really want to, I don't want to put on like a live show. That's not a goal I have. We could do like you and me, a meet space podcast, but I don't think that anybody is excited about that. Like what would that matter to you at home, the listener? You can hear us kiss, you can hear it now. I've found that I don't like to share

like too much positive or negative energies, any kind of intense energy with strangers. So that made it so I never really pursued take performance, I never pursued like PVP video games. I never liked like, when I was like, I'm gonna put that in there. Like, PVP video games. I never liked, like, when I was amateur fighting, I did not like fighting strangers. It's also this excuse gets me out of Burning Man. I don't, I never wanna go to Burning Man,

but my friends were always the cat-account of Burning Man. I'm like, I don't wanna fucking share positive energy with strangers, so I'm like, oh, then you would hate Burning Man. I'm like, I'm gonna be like, yes, I would. I don't wanna share foot diseases with strangers. So I would also know that I'm into that's that's fucking that sounds hot. But yes, so that type of thing with fucking Pat and Oswald and Snoop Dogg. Wait, no, I do.

Right. You do. That does sound really fun too. So I could make it work like if we did an intimate thing with like, say a crowd of 200 people, but they were like people we'd hung out with for a few days. Like that would probably find like I'm if I'm with 20 my friends, I'm fine giving a speech or like doing a keg stand or some sort of free, you know, free to some sort of expression in a keg stance it. Yes. some sort of expression. I'm trying to kickstands it. Yes.

Do the wedding kick stand it? As is the fitting of tradition. You're just describing a cult. One more step towards a cult. Yes. I think I'll be okay with the small cult. In Yards for a while, and you know, first night rights, of course, then yes, we would eventually do a live show.

Yeah, I'd be okay with like a sex culture, a combat cult, any cults are both kinds. But it has to be small enough that we could make pretty close friends with most of the people. We still have enemies, we still have strangers, but most of them, we'd be real tight with. Dic-fighting. Like 12 combatants. And that's your live show.

All right, let's go to Ponnest Javo. like 12 combats and that's your live show. All right, let's go to Punish Javo at S, are the topics you have wanted to cover but cannot manage to make an article out of, of course. Yeah. We have done that a few times on Reflecting Day, which I guess is us managing to make an article out of it. So no.

Yeah, that's an insight. No, reflecting day was originally like, you know, as a way to sort of talk to the audience and tell people like whatever, site news, but also a dumping grounds for the unthinkable. Just like if we could only, if we could only comment on something by commenting on how we can't comment on this

or how difficult it is to comment on it, or if we could only really only do 200 words, and then if you do any more than that, it's all gonna fall apart. That's for sure. Coleman Moore. Coleman Moore came from a reflecting day. Right.

And that was just, it was like, I couldn't sit there and have a thesis statement about him because I don't know what his fucking deal is. I didn't understand it. And that can't be a whole article. But I did. And for listeners that don't remember, Coleman Moore is this YouTube guy with like 200 followers. No one knows who he is except for Brockway.

And his music videos are very produced. Like a lot of effort goes into these things for the 200 people in Brockway, and they are impenetrable. Like they're so weird, but they're kinda trying to be funny, but then they're very serious. And it's just like, I do not know what this guy's fucking deal is.

And you show me these videos, I'm like, that did not fucking help at all. None of them do. You watch one. I would see, I watch one. I watch like a, he has a song called Precom and I watch that and I was like, all right, this is a joke. He's actually, it's actually pretty funny.

It's a pretty dead-on like satire of a certain type of person. Okay. I guess you're right about that. But, but then by the end of it, I'm like, okay, I'll watch another video and I'll watch the next video and it's exactly that type of person, no satire. Okay, so the last one wasn't satire and then I'll watch another and it just bounces your goddamn brain all over the place and I have no idea what this person's deal is. As soon as I land on like, okay, I know what he is, this is a joke, he's being very clever.

Nope, nope, he's being totally sincere. He has no idea. He just released a new video where he is beaten half to death with butts, where he's like standing in the middle and then butts just to sell to him from all sides. I still couldn't tell you. I can't tell you if that's a joke. I did not take it as a joke.

It's, and that's what's frustrating to me. I feel like that's one thing our site doesn't do. Like we have, we go in a lot of directions, but we kind of, you always know where we're trying to be funny. I guess. Well, that's why this went to a reflecting day where all I wanted to talk about was like, I can't fucking talk about this

because this is all I have. Right. I haven't pinned down this guy. I don't have an angle or a thesis and Sean has done that a few times. And there is, but yeah, there's still stuff that we can't even do in there. Those, there's prime, there's prime.

The stuff like prime is mine. Yeah, Malibu Prank, that those are great. I tend to get a lot of books that have just like harsh subject matter And it was like I did a book called a karate book called rapist bitwear that what that's a rough title Like no one's in the mood to laugh But but the book itself was completely crazy by a person with a crazy backstory and so I'm like I can get through this I just have to be a little delicate. I just don't usually like being delicate So stuff like that becomes a problem,

but whatever. I'm really happy how that one turned out. And yeah, that was great. You did a good job on that. That's just a difficult one. That's not something you can't. It's definitely not my stuff. I'm way below average when it comes to like,

oh, here's the judgment we should use for this. Like I'm glad I work with you, because yours is much better than mine. Like you're usually like, do you, you can't use for this. Like I'm glad I work with you because yours is much better than mine. Like you're usually like, dude, you can't fucking do this. The only thing I've said, no, to is buying your enemy's grave, sir. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha because he is like this falling apart so much he had to sell his own grave. How funny would it be if his main tormentor bought his grave? It would be extremely funny, but that's it.

It's over. That's the end. That's the Jackie Chan freeze frame and then all it's left is blooper real. We're the bad guys. I don't think anybody is going to cancel us, but I think we would internally cancel ourselves. I guess, like we would buy that double grave and then bury ourselves in it. Yeah, it's over after that. Like we did. That's a performance art of a life for sure. Yeah.

Um, so next question is from some Minitar. They say, least favorite podcast guest, I choose violence. This is a very daring choice. I definitely don't have a good answer for this. I don't think we've ever had a guest where we didn't like them. We've had a couple of disaster shows we had a bail on, but not because the guests were bad. We had, you have see great Roxanne Modiferion

and like just the audio calmed out and it just never came back We were watching Arena. I think she was not that into it, but yeah, she didn't seem to like Yeah, we cut we cut that our buddy Eddie Doty was on and we did a there's another fight a related show where we were talking about Josh Fabia who's this like like wizard who trained a UFC fighter and he would like hang up upside down and punch him in the head, like that's how we trained this fighter. And so he tricked a mentally unstable man into becoming a much worse fighter and Eddie had all this information on him. So we had him on, but he had his mic on maximum. So it would like to set to fight. Set to fight. We had a bail on that. I should say in both cases, you're saying we had to bail on them. We did record the

full episodes and then realized it was not like, it's not just that it wasn't any good. It was that it was not audio that a human could process in a way that would not destroy them. Like it was just, it was not a terrible. No one wants to listen to that. But we should do another show on Josh Fabia because that did fall out to be really funny. Like he did it finally free himself from the cult leader. Yeah, it was a fun show.

It's so tough to do anything again though. Like, I don't like doing it again. Like we don't script shit. So when we get there, like, is my just going to come up with the same joke. Because I don't remember what it fucking said. Yeah, and I already have a fake laugh problem. And the same joke as before, I would probably give you a fake laugh. But that's a fake, fake laugh, and that's just that I feel like I don't have the performance

skills to get through it. It would sound sarcastic. Like, why the fuck is Shameh's fucking Broadway? Very diplomatic answer. Good job. We have a question from Mr. Thunder Cleese and we get this often. I missed it to something happened with the Out of Death episode. Yes, we did an episode on Out of Death's Strong Bruce Willis, and this was before everybody knew he was, you know, having old-person brain issues,

and we were making like, I guess jokes that were not necessarily insensitive, but like we were speculating on like, what the fuck happened, and then it turns out like, oh, there's a very sad answer to all these questions. Like then like two weeks later it was like two weeks after we recorded that then it comes out that Bruce Willis has aphasia caused by some form of dementia. I am not sure what exactly disease was and it wasn't that this is in poor taste to make fun of movies now because there is something there that's just so so you were weakened at burnishing, Bruce Willis through these terrible movies. That's horrible in a different direction

that we could make fun of. But a lot of what we did was what is up with his line reads, why does it look like he needs an earpiece in his ear just to say words. And it was very specifically like, yeah, it came across as look at this asshole with the mention, what's the, what we did not know the answer. So when the answer came out, we were like,

oh, there's the, that's a fun answer. And in many ways, I'm not sure. It's some of it seemed apathetic, like Bruce Willis just saying he was shit. He didn't want to learn his lines, he didn't want to put any effort in this movie. Because he did what he would show up for two days and you know. Yeah, and he was doing that because he, I guess, probably knew his career was coming to him.

You see what I mean? There's nothing fun, like his soonest time answering the question. It's not good to listen to, you're not missing anything. On the Sean Road of wonderful song and Jamie did a kickass metal cover. I actually put that on the soundboard, I can hit it right now if you want. I guess if you want to take away incentive for people to upgrade and listen to the mom behind the scenes. That's a good point. No, I'm hitting play. This is the theme song I wrote about out of death point. It's capital. No, I'm hitting play. This is the theme song I wrote about out of deaf and then we can play the Jamie one after. And I've got to warn you, it's

hot and glee beautiful. One nine hundred half dog presents the dog zone nine thousand. This was how we opened the show. Bruce Willis podcast. People went from zero to this. Hey, we know the answer. I'm a little bit scared and I'll swim alone in Where I've so got them hearts and hearts Fucking hearts and hearts Do it with yourself I'll see Chop kill you, I know Target Dower Cosmic sins, I'm a threshold I'm all I did, fire breach

Horocles and co-starring Javroo A dumb super action words I'm trying to get fired, breach a rascal, star in jail rule A dumb soup of action was And I would just show up and sit on a chair Even when we'd film the fights I look like a dick, what age and book did she I could reboot my interface Or say let's do die hard In more or more, oh, where's Santa Santa's Macbeth?

I'm the biggest star, dressed in McQueen's car Now I'm so gone out of day It's come out of death. I'm all out of death. I'm given so much since Christmas I'm dark-starred for I'm van by a speedboat. I'm all out of death. I'm never complete, well, I'm co-rigged dream, with special guests to me. I'm so glad we talked over it so they don't have it clean. You want it clean, you fucking join the discord, pledge at the level, you get access to behind the scenes, then you can play it, you can dance to it at your wedding. You can dance to it, you can slow dance to it at your wedding. You can dance to it, you can slow dance to it at your wedding. So I'm not a professional songwriter, I normally do the joke articles and some video games.

A little bit everything, but that was my first song, I was very proud of it. And so I sent that to Jamie our audio engineer. And she came back very quickly with this. Like, very quickly with this. Just shain. Cool Corbin Dallas moody pass But what's going on with my choices inside We just face you, really rock Remember last boy scouted, the animals so melodic We also got the amulets and hogs A denotion hog I'm not a genius

I'm not such a genius Just repeatedly joking, just loading yourself into a catapult and pliery overview so she could go. Now I just show up and sit on a chair Even when we feel the fight I look like a dick, what ain't your focus, kids? I can remove my amy vibes Or let's say let's shoot out in horror Or a scene that sends me back Now I'm the biggest star I'm touching my queens God, I know I'm so

Got you now The death It's calling out again Ugh I'm all out of death I'm Kevin Swarov's He's Christmas I'm Dr. Thunderbolt

I'm some He's people I'm all out of death I'm a leprechaun Dream world I'm corporate out again, I'm a leprecha dream world I'm corporate victory, with special guest on me Terry, who is this? Anyway, those are the two full production songs we recorded

just lighting up, just roasting a dementia patient. And that's why they're not. Yeah, I'm able anymore. That's the answer to your question. But you have to consider the context of a lot of jokes. And the joke there was we didn't know yet. Always the best when you have to say, okay, you're about to get into the context. Bruce, if you're listening, we're sorry.

Very bold of Jamie to change. Vampire Speedboat to Zombie Speedboat, but I'll allow it. Yeah, those are two different movies. Yeah, those are very different movies. Plus earlier, there was Zombie Threshold when I was making up the fake movie titles. That was a fun song to write. Like I would be into writing parody jokes songs if that was the thing people still did. If that I don't know that anybody's tried that. I can find me called like cookie shawn.

Cookie shawn is a terrible, but I would answer to it. Okay, Hot Dog Mo, who's actually given us a lot of great tips. We've written a lot of things that Mo brought to us. If it were economically and logistically feasible, what non-sure physical merch would be the absolute top tier number one site related item you'd like to sell? I don't know if I have a condoms would be pretty good. When we first started, we wanted to have a store that was just all fucked up shit. Like cases for phones that don't exist

are gadgets with no clear purpose, but. You would have to do it. I think that there was. You would have to own a factory. Yes, that's too big a project, which would definitely lose money, which I guess sounds like my favorite kind of project. Let's do it.

But no, I mean, it feels like an art installation gag, which would definitely lose money, which I guess sounds like my favorite kind of project. Let's do it. But, no, I mean, it feels like an art installation gag, which I would love, but that's not like what we were setting out to make. Yeah, I'd love to like defunct products that are only like of their decade like like like fucking slap bracelets or something. One 900 hot dog slap bracelets,

where it's just the whole weiner right there. It looks like those didn't exist outside of their decade or are like a hot dog shaped pet rock or something. Some kind of piece of shit. But again, you would have to own that factory, the rock factory. Well, my wife runs urgent care clinics in the South, and so she gets merchandise stuff. And so I've seen some of the merchandise catalogs and in the

south you can still get shit like like jet ski keys with your like clinics name on it. Jet ski jet ski keys. No jet skis. Let's aim for the moon hot dog jet skis. Oh it's love a hot dog jet ski. I do have a hot dog arcade machine. I got a custom arcade cabinet with Rusty's art on the sides of it. And how much would that sell for for us to make? You just even break even.

If we wanted to make a $1 profit on that, it would have to be $5,801. There you go. It was a splurge. You wanna spend $5,801. There you go. It was a splurge. You want to spend $5800 and $1. You hit us up. That was a couple of birthdays. So we have a question here.

Lemon Suarez asks, where are you able to give us any updates on Billy Karate? Yes and no. There, we sent it around. I got an awesome manager out of it, which is basically all I was really exposed way more than I was expecting that script to do. It's more of a fuck it writing sample than it was something that will be realistically made because to make it would cost $300 million and it would not make that money back.

But we sent it around a lot of people, love did a lot of people want to talk about it, nobody really wanted to make it. I finally teamed up with a guy that does animation on like a... I think I could probably... No, I don't know if I could talk about it. And he is attached as a director for the animated version. He's got a lot of experience. We just kind of, we would have to really push the ball on that.

And that's something that's kind of backburned. So it's like anything in Hollywood or film or whatever, like you will write a script and then 12 years later. Like see, it will get me out of nowhere. Like so it's there. It's there. There's a plan. We got a director attached. We're working on something else now.

Yeah, that's one more reason I love our website. Just because you get to do it and then it's done and then it's out there. I get to do it and then people get to see it and we're done. That's the whole thing. That's the week. I don't have to take a meeting with anybody. I don't have to. I don't have to take a bunch of shit happens.

Sean, what if there was a big spider in this one? You say that every goddamn article. Yes. I just think it would punch them, but I just think it needs to. Not wrong? It's not a wrong note. I like how that story became so famous that idea of the guy who wanted a spider in the super manuscript Kevin to the super manuscript that that ended up in the the flash movie. Didn't it end up like he was the same guy that was in one of the producers for for while I was also in that one. And that had a giant spider. And that had the giant spider like he he has gotten the giant spider in the movie. So like I There's no way that guy is not in the pocket

of big spider, like big, big spider. That's a different guy than Barbara Streisand's old hairdresser, right? The guy that they made a movie about. Oh, I don't remember. Am I all mixed up? I know his name, so call the big fighter. Cause he like always wanted to, he wanted to he would always try to bring up his street fighting history. But he was like a

torpy hairdresser. But so like when he met Kevin Smith, he's like, Kevin Smith, I know you're a I can tell you're a street fighter. And that's what superman is a street fighter. So we need a street fighter. It's infamous street fighter. It's the part of the podcast. I don't need to tell good street fighter. We tell over told Kevin Smith stories during this part of the show. Now, spider guy, the spider guy is my favorite. He is legitimately like my hero. He just has one idea.

It's not a great idea. He shoe horns it into everything. And he has made, I'd like millions of dollars. He's, he's living his life and life and when you ask him like, so what do you credit your success to? He can say nothing else except for big spiders, baby. Spiders! Big spiders, baby. And just an interview. Instead of telling you, why don't I show you? And then his sleeves open and he just, the

whole room feels like spiders. It does all for this. So fancy shark, he asks, is Patreon still emerging money from you guys or things stabilized? I think we have good news that Patreon's not actually doing so bad. There was a time, I'm sure we complained about this before, where like we would just lose 10% of the readers from because Patreon said, now you're we're not taking your credit card anymore. You've canceled your account. Now there is good news and bad news.

Good news is it does look like it stabilizes a little bit. We have been making mildly consistent profits. Bad news is I figured out just yesterday why that is. And it's because they switched from billing everything on the first of the month to now billing when you sign up But that also applies to them cancelling everybody so they still are Cancelling everybody. It's just spread out through the month spread out of course There's a they even give you a nice special filter You can go up behind the scenes there and like look at the filter and be like okay

Which ones did you just decline payments from? And it'll tell you like, oh, we fucked all these guys over. We're right here. Here they are. And here's a fun fact, you probably could have imagined that like once someone gets kicked off a Patreon, they're like, oh, God, I got to get back to subscribing to the other Patreon things. Got to make the decision to give the joke boys money again. Yeah. to the other Patreon thing. Got to make the decision to give the joke boys money again. Yeah. So, let's see.

This person says, bot rang la robes. If any writers pitched something, he wanted to do, it was just too weird dark, whatever. I guess we sort of answered this, but we rejected some shit for being too squared basic, but generally not too weird or dark. Like, if one from Swain, we rejected recently, that was not too, and maybe too dark, maybe too dark and weird. It was, oh, I'm blanking on the guy's name, the guy behind Arthur Worm Gym. Oh, right.

Yes, I don't remember either, but Swain, likeates his art and his angle on the article was not, hey, fuck this, not the Earthworm Gym guy, it didn't seem like it would inspire a lot of comedy. It felt like it was a real... His angle was that he has actually known that guy before he, before the Worms inside his head were literal Worms inside his head. So he is kind of just like known that guy as a fan and believes he makes actually some really great art and then he's right, he's actually very good at his job

but he's also just a fucking maniac. And Twing, so has this long and storied personal connection to the man and it was not in defense of it. He doesn't want to defend him. He wants to be like, I know better than anybody what a fucking lunatic he is. And I have this really complicated dynamic

and like, that's a great documentary. I'm very interested in that. I just, I think there might be some issues with you publishing all of his private correspondence to market on a hot dog site. There is a later question in one of these that's like, hey, is there anything you're worried about

legally? That's the only thing. Right. It's publishing somebody's private correspondence to mock me. But like, if you can do us and said, with his kind heart, he said, hey, I found a book on pet grave pranks. I'd trust his judgment I'd be like, that sounds fucking awful, but like, yeah, let's see that. We'll see that article. If it was some random Anya, but no writing samples, I might use that's a little too dark as an excuse, but like I Think it's more just doesn't fit our normal

editorial vision. I would love to watch that documentary from Swam. I don't want to be the guy, the one guy that gets sued for it. Like I don't. Yeah. I don't want to. I just don't want to get an email from Nazi Earthworm Gym Guy. Or that.

Yeah. I don't want to become part of the immersive theater experience of this article. It'd be incredible. We haven't dodged it completely, but I do sort of like that the site is kind of apolitical. I don't think I've talked to a right wing person in years like that's, I feel like nobody under the age of 70 is one of those things anymore. But... Well, there's someil taste that are nice in your own That's true, but like we wouldn't talk to them. We wouldn't yeah, they would not hear they wouldn't enjoy jokes like they're they're busy Trying to make excuses for you know gut-failed jokes or whatever the fuck. I don't know. I just don't like to get into on the site

I feel like that I don't think my writing suffered during the Trump era, but I do feel like it was just this thing that everyone was talking about too much, and it overwhelmed everything that we just kind of had this wet blanket thrown over the entire world. I'm rather avoid that. It just doesn't seem like a lot of fun to do political comedy to me, but also there have been several of our friends that have gotten massively successful

doing political comedy and commentary. Of course. And it feels like a curse. It feels like they get to do this and get to enjoy a lot of success. And then they are not allowed to do anything but this and they have to permanently stay cutting edge informed on all the worst atrocities of the world

every single morning. And I think they're probably going to die two decades earlier than us. Because of it. I hope not. But I do know exactly what you're talking about. Like I feel like John Stewart would look like Paul Rudd right now if he hadn't done the daily show.

I feel like Paul Rudd lives in his Paul Rudd life where everything is fun and light. And he likes it a lot. And he looks like he's 20 years younger and he's just having a great time. And then John Stewart is over here being like, a lot and he looks like he's 20 years younger and he's just having a great time and John Stewart is over here being like you have done more important work than Paul Redsir at a great personal expense. Yeah. Yeah, I do feel like having your work become important is so dangerous and what I like

about our site is it's very much not. It is entirely whimsy. And so when something gets too close to being important, I'm like, this doesn't feel right for us. We start recovering. Everything else is getting very important. Everything else is trying to slip into the importance business because it's a very good business. And nobody wants to do frivolous bullshit.

They're like, oh, frivolous bullshit doesn't pay. And they're right. It doesn't. Yeah. It's fun. Exactly. And someone needs to do it. Let's see, Thrill Ho writes, do you fear the well as running dry or is an overwhelming surplus of insane content to make fun of. This is super easy to answer. I, before we even launched, before even pitched this idea to you to Brockwick, I put all the weird shit I wanted to write about into a database. I'm sure you remember this database. It was like, of course. All the books and videos I had around, along with 20 or 30 original like comedy bits. So we are actually good at double our pace

until long after we both die. That being said, once I put something in a database, that lowers my chance to write about it by about 80%. I'm always way more excited to write about a book. I just found a goodwill than something that's been sitting in my fucking to do column for three years. So there is that.

Yeah, I don't have, it's cursed physical labor. I'm getting there. I'm getting to objects that will seep radiation into me in my loved ones. But it's just, it's more like with my health problems and with like just all the administrative shit that piles up and sometimes keeps me from writing a column. I only snowball.

I just have so much stuff I want to write about and it gets frustrating that I can only get farther behind. I really want to write about this. I've been saying that for like three years and I still do, but I need functioning eyeballs to do that and that's not always the case. Yeah. So yeah, our bodies will give out long before our content. And have. Yes, and have. I don't know, my bones have been fitting together real nicely lately.

Oh, yeah. Have you been taking my bones? Is that why? I think I have been seeing a lot of bones. I miss like a lot of bones. Here and there, I take a few bones. Tell you, it's not the case over here. Well, we have a question from Fancy Shark.

They say, what have been the biggest surprises since Hot Dogs launch? Not just horrifying surprises like the juggler. There was a juggler I wrote about without googling him and turns out he was a murderer. But anyway, maybe things, this is still his question, but maybe things you might have thought wouldn't work but took on a life of their own. I'll tell you, it's not something of my own. I'll tell you my biggest surprise. And it's a little personal.

Okay. I'm a little bit surprised and a little bit hurt that of all of us, Lydia has the most enemies that have come to the site seeking revenge. That is true. I feel like I have been excessively cruel to a lot of French people that should be attacking me. Right now, I feel like I really thought I had something with SRub, the magic pen lunatic.

Like, he started replying on the site. That was great. He had some real-en-hint shit. I had a lot of fun with that. And then he just kinda went away. And let's see. Do you think there might be something different between you and me when our flopping dogs

and the great Lydia Bug? Something defining her optimism. Might cause Piquet. Because it has a little pissed. Her bubbly personality. That's probably it. That's probably it. Because I got kind of curly hair too.

I don't know. I don't know. I just, she gets the most enemies. And they keep coming back. And I'm fucking jealous. I'm just straight up jealous of it. I generally, when people find, uh, find blood made fun of them, they're usually okay with it. Uh-uh, obviously I have some enemies, but for the most part, people are just like, fine-getting roasted. But, uh, unless you're a lady, I guess, is the point I'm making. Yeah, I think, um, I think by the end of it, like I made fun of S-Rob so hard when he was replying in the comments to those articles. And I think by the end of it like I made fun of S Rob so hard when he was replying in the comments

To those articles and I think by the end of it he thought we were on some sort of ninja pen magic team together Like he thought he thought we were two parts of a spell that we were weaving together now. I Don't really know how that happened But I think the thing that surprised me was that It kind of got deeper and more journalistic than I expected because I first started pictured it as a way like a destination site for comedy. You'd normally have to siphon from social media because I guess I was frustrated.

You'd go on Twitter or whatever and you'd come across. Somebody brilliant jokes or funny threads, but that was after like many go-fun me's for disease or poverty or like some Republican state declaring war on decency or whatever the fuck. And so I imagined like a thousand words on a block A isn't this crazy buy and now we kind of find ourselves saying is this even deep enough for a hot dog article? What's the, what's the term? What's the, the, the, the, the tragedy in this.

Yeah. And I would that feels like far more than I was expecting. Yeah, I try to avoid that trap. Sometimes I want to just write some goofy words about some dumb. I just did one on Mr. Muscles, which is like a golden age character. That was so fucking stupid. It's just like there's nothing about this other than this. This is a dumb comic book character. And I kind of dumped it. It was the day after Thanksgiving. I'm like, this is the perfect spot to put it because like there's just no twist,

there's no background. He's done anyone need bends with only short rests. I'm possible. So I mean, I'm happy with article, but like there's nothing to it, there's no hook. I just found a funny guy. And it was fun, yeah. We still have a place. It's still a funny guy. It was fun. Yeah. We still have a place.

It's still a place. This is still a safe place for thesis, list, silliness. We have another question from Moe. He says, dream guest, go. Do you have a good answer for this? Uh, I mean, it's pretty obvious. Like, it's Mr. T, right? Yeah, I mean, it's pretty obvious, like, it's Mr. T, right? Yeah, I mean, 100%.

I would, the only thing I would say is I think I would maybe rather have someone who was kind of combative, but compelled to stay, like, like if we had Gotik, or D. Bull or whatever, I think that they would say something embarrassing and then we'd make fun of them and they'd hang out, but Frank Dukes would probably, my dream guess, because he would stay on the line with us for five days explaining how the karate he did in 1981 wasn't technically impossible, and we can't prove it. So I think Frank Dukes, sorry, Mr. T. I need to know,

see, it wouldn't have, it wouldn't have been Mr. T, and until we found TNT. I need to know a lot more about TNT. We have a lot of TNT questions. A lot about his life in Canada and how it was different, like how he found interacting with Canadians in that capacity at the peak, maybe just after the peak of his start-up. Were they just giving Mr. T?

The way Mr. T is that he's kind of just a God guy now. And so I feel like we could talk a lot about the work he's done, but I do feel like it would be hard to get him to not, you know, convert us to Christianity. I would be okay with that, though. Yeah, I would convert. I would convert. And I would tell everybody that Mr. T brought me

to the light of Jesus, I would say so proudly. But also I think it would be very interesting watching his brain spin T and T subjects like the mystical ninja episode, or what about the senior citizen who was the lone ranger who was attacking a whole foods, with featured guest star the fat boys. Can we loop that back around to God? And I would love to see, I would love to see that journey. He could definitely do that. Pam Pyer asks us how often do the subjects of the hot dog examinations come across their articles and how do they general react? Okay, we're kind of interested in that. Yeah, I guess we have. We've had both reactions, of course. Steve will try to shut the site down. We've talked about that. Dr. Ted Gambortella, I was a karate man.

He wrote the 100 Deadliest Karate movies. He was very cool about it. He, I think that was funny is that he's, like an old karate man and all the jokes were kind of, they were kind of gay jokes. It's not a nice way to put it, but like he and his friend were like shirtless and like doing these, they're posing with their punches

and they weren't like throwing a punch and taking a picture of the action. They were like gently resting their fists against each other in a way that was very intimate and kind of cute and he didn't care. He's like, the fuck it, it's great. I think, hold on, I have it saved here's his thing. He said his name, he went in the comments, he said his name was,

thanks for the card, I think they're hilarious. Please do more, this is Ted Gamordella, the author of this crazy book. And then the subject said, thanks for the card, I think they're hilarious. Please do more, this is Ted Gamordella, the author of this crazy book. Love it. Perfect. Oh, correct. I got a comment. Uh, dictated, not read. Oh, yes.

Well, so one's good. Most people, I think when you search for most of the subjects of our books, like the first thing you get is our site. So I kind of get the feeling most of these maniacs have at least seen it, if they've ever Googled themselves. People in fucking sense, say, Dave hasn't come after me. God damn it. He has to know right now.

He has to know. I'm pretty sure. I'm like the number two results. Yeah. Sensei Dave. Sensei Dave and then, hey, fuck you, fight me. Sensei Dave and like he won't, he won't do it. Yep.

Sensei Matt came after me. He was the guy who did the sign language martial arts where he would tell you how he's fucking you up while he's doing his karate. And that was, that's kind of one of those things where I was sure people thought it was going to be making that up. Like that, it seems too insane to exist. And yeah, he wrote an article and wanted me to take it down. He even offered to refund me the, the 20 bucks I sent him for his DVD, which I took as a pretty serious insult. So I got kind of

dickish to him. I was like, you get kind of fuck yourself with this buddy. But we calm down, we each calm down, and he wanted me to take his last name off of it, because he, all of the Googling for his name, led to that article. And he didn't want to be associated with the guy he learned karate from, who's George Tillman, the guy who does the no-touch knockouts. And so I thought that was so funny. And I'm like, I will accommodate you every way I can.

I'm always not going to take the article down, but I will take your last name off. But you're like, no, you could leave all of the most embarrassing things anybody's ever done. That's fine. Leave my face up there. Leave me making stupid notions. You have all the gifts. I don't want to be associated with George Tillman. To be honest, I would have, I'm usually as a covenant as I can be and if he's just like,

do this small favor, I'm like, yeah, it's fucking no trouble. Just God, that's like several lifetimes and so much effort converged just for the ultimate dunk on George Tillman. Yes. So good Go ahead. Let's I feel like we've Predately like we've gone through Favorite articles favorite stories. I definitely don't want to do The contacted by former cracked people that we rejected. Yeah, that's maybe.

Yeah, we know an answer to that, but let's not say it. Let's not say that. How many times did you find a secret murder has been also kind of answered? I suppose that's true. Well, Sarah will ask, it's a running gag that Jamie never cuts anything, but has anything actually been cut

from the podcast for content reasons, not counting behind the scenes material. We did answer that with the out of death episode and of course the other two secret episodes we lost. I've definitely said something that I cut. I have 1999 mouth and I don't get enough sleep. So I'm sure shit's come out of my mouth that we've cut. But I'm bringing this up because we found out

something fascinating and it is that Sean Baby does not and why would he listen to the podcasts after they've been edited? That's true. Because you don't have to. I do the final pass. Like Jamie does, Jamie does, Jamie's our editor, she mixes it, puts it all together.

I do the final pass to just cut out like, if we stammer something running on punchline or something's not working or I just feel like it's kind of dead air. And then I do a lot of the, well I do it some other stuff. But Sean did not know this entire time that when we say Jamie cut that, that's a joke. Sean thought it was an arrest spot as you can hear him realize, wait have you not been cutting that for the very first time? And I love it. So I just want to share that. If nobody else picks that up. podcast, you can hear him realize, wait, have you not been cutting that for the very first time?

And I love it. So I just want to share that if nobody else picks that up. I do need to listen to the podcast more. You don't. You're here. You're here for it. It's true. But if I don't, I end up telling the same story multiple times.

And I try to hedge my bets sometimes. Like, I think I've told this story in the podcast, but I'm like, you know, like I say, I don't get enough sleep. And the podcast happens so fast. And I'm usually like reading notes and trying to listen to everybody. And I also have no politics to try to keep things on track and to try to, I don't know. This is not my area of expertise, is my point.

But it's fun. If, look, if there's any nerd out there who is carefully cataloging all the stories we've told and it's like Excuse me. You have told that story before yeah, Mark. You give it yourself one point mark one point You've earned it you deserve it. You can you can redeem them for a for a pewter skull ring at the end of the podcast But it's way easier to know that you've heard a story than know that you've told the story because everyone has told a story more than one time you just don't know the...

And the other thing is like, I try not to exaggerate, but I'm always like, do I have 15 beers or 25 beers? And I'm like, if I've told this story before, I'd look at total asshole if I had 10 to this beer number. But I need people to understand I was fucked up.

But what else do you know I'm a fucking man? Like it takes like 80 beers for me to get dropped. I don't know. So I have the worst goddamn memory. Like when I was a little kid, I was put into like gifted schools and shit because I had mostly because of my memory. I had like almost photographic recall.

And somewhere along the way, I think it's probably from just chronic exhaustion. I do not get sleep. I sleep disorders and kind of permanent brain fog. I have the worst memory in the world. I have listened to all of our podcasts at least twice in the editorial capacity. I'm sure I'm still telling stories of our content. I don't think I've ever caught you doing that. I'm sure, all the time I mix up,

I'm a mashup artist with my own memory. So I'm always just like, I'll mash up two stories and I tell them somebody's like, no, that was two different times. Fucking, oh, really? Like there's a famous incident now in the discord where I told one of Megan's stories, my wife's stories. And it was like second third hand

and I had mashed it up with something else and basically the only change I made was that I put Shaq in it. Instead of, to be fair, it started Karl Malone. And so I put Shaq in it instead and I forgot that the punchline to it was 9-11. Oh, so, but those are two big, like literally big, big things. You forget, check and 9-11, that's like,

no, I remember that when they, you're not supposed to, you're not supposed to forget 9-11. I remembered one and forgot the other, I forgot 9-11, but I double remembered Jack, is the point. I just, that evens out then, that I like that man. If anybody, I just, if anybody's trying to listen

to our podcast for any sort of consistency and is keeping tally, you're gonna be real disappointed. Yeah. And honestly, if I told the story too many times and you don't like me, that's fine too. That's, I don't need your love. Fucking asshole. So the question was from Mist Covers, Lowler Pa,

are there any cool article topics you've had to shelve due to legal liability worries? And if so, what are they? There was one where I was looking back on something I wrote a long time ago and you thought the tone was off and I agreed it kind of came across like I was taunting cancel culture but in both of the bad directions like sort of how oh this doesn't exist or it's gone too far and I kind of danced in and out of it maybe clumsily and I kind of danced in and out of it, maybe clumsily, and maybe there's just no way to do it. Maybe that's just not a conversation anyone should ever have again. But I think one of the problems I have, if it's a problem, is I sort of trust the public in quotes, to take in the full context of what I'm saying,

and to give me the benefit of the doubt. And I don't know, I just don't think that they would have in this article. And so I went in the fuster of the book of the time I was done, I hated it. So I think that one I shelved, maybe someday I can polish that off. But the next question, I guess I have a more exact answer for is is there anything you wanted to cover, but just couldn't get your hands on uh... yes absolutely fucking lash la rue the whip master

from back in the day i wrote a a manconics that i almost i think i think that's yeah he got tricked into doing a porno movie and i fucking have to find it i wrote to like one of the stuntman on it like dude is there this fucking exist and he did not have it Between the two of us because I got in on this too We must have done dozens of hours of just yeah, I can't I was contacting distributors of like his other movies to see if like they had Because there were two versions he got tricked into doing a porno movie There is one he he doesn't have,

he's not out there whipping people with his dick. It's not Lash the Roo dick whipper. He was like, he was doing the cowboy scenes and then was unaware at the time that there was fucking in between them. Right. And so he got tricked into doing this, but there were two versions,

one version where they cut all the fucking and it was just like a mediocre cowboy movie that was way shorter than it should be. That's suspiciously shorter. And then of course the full one with the pornography. I would love the pornography. I would take the edited down one, neither one exists. We couldn't find either.

Yeah. And it was just a real bummer because I, going through the lash-le-roo-comics, especially, I just, I couldn't believe how stupid they were. And the tropes that emerged with immediately was like, he would get bashed over the head, completely unconscious, kong. And then he would do something with a whip that does not, it's not even possible.

He would like grab the whip with his mouth and then like, give birth to a horse. You're like, what the fuck did he just do with that whip? And that was every issue. And so, uh, and I found out of course he he was in a ton of movies doing that exact thing. There was that Sarah at Life Sketch where Bill Murray was the whip master and that had to have been a Lashler Reparity. Yeah, he's been in some like rift tracks movies and stuff, but Goddamn that porno. I could not find it. I am also, if for posterity, I'm missing the, there apparently was a recording at some point of Thunder Cat's live, the 1980s stage show.

I have only found the complete brochure. I found like a couple, one, two minute clips here and there from the recording. I did find like somebody's the blog from one of the, I think it was just a stage hand on it that said he had, he was the one that recorded all of it. He knows it's out there, but he does not have it anymore because he was like recording it for the show.

I would give almost anything for the full recording of ThunderCats Lab the stage show, but I go back and I look at it. Also, fucking JR Fleming, Bigfoot Lives, Psychic Bigfoot. Yes. I bought the book, I bought Psychic Bigfoot, Bigfoot Lives, and it's a time traveling flight club magician

at the center of the earth. Whatever that was called, and it was so much fun, and I immediately went to go by the rest of his books and whatever that was called. And it was so much fun. And I immediately went to go by the rest of his books and they were all gone. I were all pulled down completely. And I, for no reason with no he's the kind of guy that had his own site. He would selling his own books like his own distributor. He was, he was in it to win it. Like he had all of his shit up everywhere. And then one day, like the day after we recorded the podcast,

podcast was not up. He didn't know. It's not like he knew he was being made fun of. It just so happened that Bigfoot erased him from this timeline that second. And I cannot, you can find his profile, you can find good reads things, you can find the remnants of those stores,

none of them work, I've tried to buy from them, and I've tried to buy from an Instagram store, just find just maybe, and everything is returned, he is gone from this earth, like 100% gone. But as soon as you saw him, he vanished. Yeah, maybe he just knew you would carry on his message and you could move on to the other reality that he's a Schrodinger's maniac. I observed him and he disappeared Does this man exist or not? No, he does not because you observed him. You said he's a quantum lunatic

Yeah, if anyone has leads on any of shit, my God. Yeah, we love it. Here's a question, how do you determine which topics are better for an article versus a podcast episode? That's from HamPyre. I thought it was from Fancy Shark. Oh, you're right. You're right. It's from Fancy Shark.

It's tough, I guess. I'd say podcasts are easier when we're doing like a full-feature movie because describing a movie requires describing the entire movie plus making jokes and that ends up being four to five thousand words and a lot of works, a lot of screenshots, a lot of a lot of word bubbles and podcasts has the dynamic of a person probably more square than us kind of reacting to the madness as being sort of an audience stand in to sort of experience it right like they're discovering the shit that me and Brockway kind of entrench ourselves in but mostly I think it comes down to like insanity per second so if something is completely nuts

and constantly nuts it's a better podcast because there's a lot to talk about and everyone wants to get through it I would never give someone like a go-deck book to read because you know that's mostly filled with stupid boring shit. I wouldn't ask you and a guest to read thousand one ways to be romantic, pick out the dumbest ones. That's a research project, not a fun mess around, but telling someone to watch a 90 minute movie that's just wall-to-wall insanity. That's fun. Everybody's down for that. That is one of our bonus games. wall-to-wall insanity. That's fun. Everybody's down for that. That is one of our bonus games. Yes, that's true. Also, you've heard it here first folks, all of our guests are squares. Commandos.

Sounds exact words. You're all squares. Not the nicest way for me to put it, but hopefully people get what I mean. This is what I'm talking about when I say the public it quotes, I can be the benefit of that. I think they won't. We are going to get an email from Katie Golden being like, oh, you think I'm square, yo? Fuck a dick. I'm hopping on a plane right now. This could have taken me 12 hours from Italy,

and I'm just gonna be punching a site of meat the whole time. Think about it. Come fuck you up. Cross the world. Yeah, it's like, we can't do movies on the site anymore because we were doing movies and it would take us 5,000 words and a million pictures and it's just like no, this is just too much. But having everybody watch a really goofy movie is a lot of fun

to do on a podcast. Absolutely. This is from proxy who asked early on there was some talk of looking at bad webcomics for material. Did that go anywhere? Were there none that were particularly riffable or was mocking webcomics perhaps too much like punching down? I'm with Sean on the punching down thing. I don't think there is such a thing as punching sideways and laterally, and I think that's perhaps the best punching. I think that's what fighting is, is punching sideways.

Yeah, but like, I don't know, I'm pretty fucking awesome. So if I'm gonna, if that's like my, if that's how I'm gonna judge the fate, if you're less cool than me, I'm not allowed to make funny. Like fuck you. Thank you. Then I would be out of a job. Who am I gonna make fun of Bruce Willis?

We fucking tried that. It did not go well. Backfire disastrously. It's just something about the medium. Whenever I find something that is worth mocking, it does get me too sad personally, not because it's like punching down in this poor person. It's just, it's just there's nothing

you'd fun about the medium. Like if I was going to make fun of somebody who was brainless, completely broken and they decided to write a manifesto into their art, I would rather do like C-Tom, like the failed novelization of a stage play that he didn't actually write. He's doing like four levels of crazy above that. Webcomic seems like, it seems like entry level crazy. It seems like data entry crazy. Yeah, it sort of feels like you're making fun of some kids homework, I guess.

You can go on DeviantArt and say, I'm going to make fun of this bad art, but you're like, why? Who cares about that? That did not have an effect on anybody's life. See, Computeune was interesting because he had a multi-decade career. Right. And it was very distinguishing, successful at it. And it was completely inexplicable. Why?

If it's just some dipshit that has four views, I can find better crazy. I can find more high-ups. Exactly. Yeah. Yeah. Greg writes, what were your expectations for the Discord versus the reality of the community that is built up over several years? I actually am pretty astonished at how funny and well-behaved our Discord server is. I usually hate forums for all the obvious reasons. Back in the day, I actually asked them to shut down my fan club because it was just fucking annoying to me and I love me fan clubs. obvious reasons. Back in the day, I actually asked him to shut down my fan club because

it was just fucking annoying to me. And I love knee fan clubs. Like, I was like, the idea of a bunch of people like, well, this guy is very appealing to me, but I'm like, no, I can't. I don't like this. My expectations as the person who set up and got the discord running And was kind of there every step of the way at the beginning to really get it going I thought it was bullshit and it was gonna be garbage I thought this is just what everybody does. I didn't have a discord account before that I didn't care enough to get into the gaming thing. I had no commitment I was just like all right. This is is a patriarchal thing that we do.

Well, I started it and cool, nice people kept showing up and we kept talking and having fun. And then they would evolve and we started getting material that I never otherwise would have gotten. Well, I had no idea from we started doing like events and watch how long something's like that. It's just been a great place and like a place without, without even need of any moderation. Every time, because I'm pretty hands off now, that it has grown

beyond all reason there is no way to track everything that happens in that wildly active, discord of just hundreds of people, dozens of whom are active at any given moment of the day. But when I do, like, jump back in and I find that some drama has happened. As soon as I'm like, oh, great, all right, here we go. I got to deal with this. And then I scroll down a little bit and everybody has just dealt with it like adults and got along and been like, okay, there we go. It's that. And it does not happen often. There's not a lot of drama and it's resolved without mods, without moderation. It does not happen often. There's not a lot of drama,

and it's resolved without mods, without moderation. But to almost everybody's satisfaction, kind of all the time, which is I wanna say, it has to be the only place in the history of the internet that that is true. Like, that's an ever happened. That's an ever happened on anything that didn't happen in the crack forums, didn't happen on like,

I had a personal live journal back in 2004 that had more drama and bullshit than this. And like, yep. And like, there were like 400 people following me. It was nothing. It's just. It's incredible how little opposition we have, I guess. Like, I hardly ever get hate mail.

There's hardly ever negative comments. It's just a good place. If you are subscribed to us at the five dollar tier Which if you're listening to a bonus podcast that you are a lot of people don't even know it It's a really it's a really good place even my wife just got into it. I don't think she even reads the site I think she was just like I kept talking up the discord and now she's jumped in She's a fan of our discord, but not of me She'll never hear this.

She likes my stuff though, right? Yeah. Okay. My wife's the same way. It doesn't read my shit, but thanks you're the best. This is a question for me. Juven Awesome writes. It's looking at the original 20 worst games of all time.

Sean Mabbie wrote how different what he consider at these days. I did, I wrote an article about the 20 worst Nintendo games that is probably varied. I haven't read that in years, but it was maybe the first article I ever wrote. And so the fact that that's still on the internet is probably pretty embarrassing. But the other one, the 20 worst games of all time that I wrote for Electronic Gaming Monthly, was pretty intensely researched. I don't know how much I changed. They sent me an enormous crate of every video game system, and I really did play hundreds of contenders. I tried to consider, always, badness can be interpreted. For instance, ET, I think, is a great choice for worst game of all time, because it sort of sucks, but it also has this you know interesting backstory about financially ruined Atari and the Game Industry and I don't know this day

today there's obviously a full feature documentary on it and that's very well-worn retread territory and I guess speaking of the entire concept of bad games is kind of worn into the ground so whenever I consider writing about bad games all the time whenever I find one I'm excited about the first results of my research is kind of worn into the ground. So whenever I consider writing about bad games all the time, whenever I find one, I'm excited to write about the first results of my research as finding it on 30 different worst video games of all time lists or videos or whatever. I guess it's like the mammoth, the extinction of the mammoth. He seemed powerful and invincible, but 10 determined cavemen can kill one, which is fine because mammoths can have babies, but not fast enough to outpace those caveman lunatics and content creators, which is the caveman lunatics in this analogy, they've way outpaced the breeding rate of bad video games. So every bad video game just gets jumped on by all the people who have made writing about bedded video games their life.

So, um, it's all those people make like fully animated videos and like a week. Yeah. With like, yeah, I work very hard. Several hundred hours worth of work. And I, I mean, my take was is generally from other people's takes, and I don't think, I'm gonna, you know, retread the exact same ground, but it's also like, once someone has made a fully animated feature about how bad a game is, it's kinda done, right? Like we don't need a second piece of media about that.

Part of doing hot dog articles is the discovery. You gotta be like, here's the thing I found that you probably don't know about. I generally don't like to like hey here's a thing I found you probably don't know about um, I generally don't like to do Hey, here's the thing we all know is bad But I have a few new jokes about it like if you're interested like that's not as interesting to me to work on There's a lot of bad steam games or mobile games like you can find and make fun of but I think we're back to that problem We we're talking about where maybe you're making fun of making fun of some high school kids senior project and not like

We've got we've covered a few bad games on the site There are certain forms that uh that it does venture into a dog territory We've become something that's more than just bad that it's just wildly inexplicable and it shouldn't By any metrics nobody should have even approved this it shouldn't have gotten to the point where like, oh, this is bad, it should not exist. I think that's the line that separates it. I think it's rare in video games because of how many people in the budget

that is involved with anything that's not, some nerd that has a steam game. It takes so many people that it's a little harder to get that line. It's not impossible, and we do cover it, but what it does get there. You're gonna have to have like an elephant fight a tank. I think that's the bar. Right. Of course, the great arcade game growl is what you're talking about.

Yeah, I was really excited. Also, I had the framing device of growl was that I was writing a strategy guide for a game that basically starts you off with four rocket launchers. It's not a hard game. They're like, fuck it. Go rocket launcher that elephants until they're your friends. You can't lose a Grau, it's my point. Let's see, we got a question here from Badger.

They say, what was the point where you thought of starting up a spoke comedy column website full time and what was the point where you thought, we should have started doing this a long time ago. First point was when I got fired. Yeah. And second point. Shortly after that, as soon as it started making enough money that pretty short later, like six months.

I want to say like six months. Yeah, I it was not until it started like at least paying some bills. Sure. Then it was too much there was too much panic, but then it was like, oh, this is going to pay my cable bill. Okay. All right. Because at the beginning, we were actually doing seven days a week, just the two of us. And like that was we were working really hard to get Everything going get everyone excited about it. I will say that is what cost me my health the last vestige of my health Not even yes, that's what sort of a joke, but it's not really a joke That's when my eyes went out. It's one of the back went out was trying to do that

Full-time both of us seven days a week no assistance and also was trying to do that full-time, both of us, seven days a week, no assistance, and also was trying to do starting a career in projects too. Yeah, and screenwriting and was in the process of publishing a book, so I was at my computer like, probably 18 hours a day, and then just sleeping a little bit, and then coming right back to the computer until my whole body broke. But aside from that, it was great. Yeah, I don't know. I guess I kind of knew towards the tail end of crack. Most of our time of crack was it was obvious no advertising models ever going to work and chasing friends was too follows of blah blah blah. Success of course, met getting sold to someone who kills you. All the yada yada.

So I wanted a place that there was some kind of a homeostasis in a way where you're just sort of like, here's steady expectations from the readers, I guess. They could go and kind of get, not what you'd expect, but what you can count on, I guess. Like, they could go and kind of get, not what you'd expect, but what you can count on, I suppose. Like, you can kind of count on this place being dedicated to entertainment. You go here and there's funny. It might be weird or something you've heard about, but for the most part, you can count on it being good.

It's just, it's also, it's like maybe the one place on the internet where you can be sure that nobody is going to buy us and then turn us into like an SEOA on farm fire everybody and then like devour and decorate the corpse because it's just us. Another inspiration for this site was I thought a lot of people were kind of wasting their talent and effort

on social media, which is where everyone was going for their jokes. I know, it makes me sad to think how many amazing jokes are just thrown into the whirlpool of Twitter. Just never to be seen again. And I like that our site is a place for you. You can put those there and people can revisit an article, think about it again.

I don't know. I just think that a destination site is better than just the constant fire hose of social media. I don't know. You can find all the best jokes on Twitter on crack.com. That's true. The 11 best tweets from today as curated by a robot. We can make it. It's nice that we can make fun of our legacy being destroyed. Right. A love time has passed. Mo asks if there's anything we genuinely hope doesn't break

a dog-side containment. I don't want to deal with any sex perverts that I write about probably. Like I don't want an email from the spanking lady or the guy who eats cum. But for the most part, I would welcome any contact from people I've written about. I'm trying to get a fucking flight started with somebody, man. I'm just making personality.

It's just not taking. It's not taking. Everybody's picking on everybody's like, well, I don't agree with this site. Let's see which of these is a woman. And for some reason, they don't land on me very often. But yeah, I'm trying to get an enemy. And for some reason they don't land on me very often. But yeah, I'm trying to get an enemy. The only thing I don't really want to deal with

is like communities without a sense of humor. I guess never fun. It's never like an enemy. Like it's nice to have a nemesis. It's not nice to have like a demographic that sucks. It's just not as fun. Like when Fortune found the Hollow Live one, I was like, all right, well,

there's nothing worthwhile in this. I can't get any. Yeah, that's a bummer. Yeah, it was a bummer. There was no choice. I once pissed off the actual mentally ill. Like I was writing an article for San Francisco paper and it was about like celebrities

that let their name to strange charities and one of them was like for like a specific kind of weird crazy person and like that like a different group of like actual mentally ill people who'd like formed a club around that like took you know offense, which is fair, but like they you know took it in a bad way because they were eventually ill and like they started a fight and there was no reasoning with them for all the obvious reasons. And so I was like, this is bad. This is a really bad community to

have beef with. That same magazine has got working. I didn't know that scrap workers were different, but that's the same one. Same as a different community, but yeah definitely still crazy. The scrapbookers were as crazy as the people who were legally crazy but. I think you're legally crazy if you give your life over to scrapbooking. Yeah. You can do it, you can do it intermittently but if you're, if you're reading something unless you can prove you're maniac If you're reading something and you were like this this man has

But smurched the honor of my scrapbooking something must be done. Yeah, you're a lunatic Yeah, I know I've definitely mentioned the scrapers in the podcast I don't know if I mentioned my favorite part of that story was that one of them was talking about how Because they all like had different Ways to get to me like Like when you get hate mail, a lot of people don't know this is everyone's probing for your weak spots. And this lady was probing for like my heart's weak spot. And so she says, people scrapbook so that their husbands overseas can like experience the lives of their children and some of their husbands come home in a box.

of their children and some of their husbands come home in a box and I thought that was so tremendously funny that this lady just I make fun of scrapbookers for like 60 words and she's like people's husbands die. You got they're so fast lady. You are pissing on the corpse of an American hero. Yes, like holy shit, the steps you took over the shortest amount of distance. Two, she somehow got to 9-11 on that one. She got to 9-11? Yes. Never forget. It's honestly. That's how dramatic people can get over something that really, I mean, I got to be honest,

had nothing to do with American soldiers dying. I did not mention that nor any military conflicts at all in my article. And I think it's pretty fucked up that her scrapbook was nothing but American soldiers dying. I just think that's a weird thing to bring to the club. Oh, coffin floppers. Yeah, all the stickers she made were a little inappropriate. all the stickers she made, were a little inappropriate. Well, I just referenced, I think you should leave, which I guess is a good lead-in for what is some,

Johnny on usual, what is some less hot doggy, but still truly great art, you recommend people check out. Do you have an answer you'd like to share for this one? I think what I think you should leave is very hot doggy if that was gonna be an answer. That's true, yeah. I think that wasn't gonna be my answer probably the one TV showed that is most adjacent I will say I'll tell a little story. I did not again. I did not get I think you should leave for a long time I was the same way with like Tim and Eric because

There's oh there's a point where I can feel That this is a big enough thing, this is a big enough dynamic shift that everything is just gonna be people trying to do this from now on for like several years. And I get like pre-annoyed at it, like, oh, well, I'm already sick of this. Like, no, you've never seen this before,

but like I see it and I'm like, fucking, this is gonna be insufferable. I just jump ahead three years to where I hate it. And that's, I was the same way Tim, it takes me a while after that. It took me years, you know, it takes me a couple of years. I think it was just this year that I finally got into. I think you should be, I watched all the episodes like my wife and I was just like, arms crossed, clearing it the screen.

Like I'm not gonna get it. I just like it. Yeah, she loved it. She was on point because she doesn't work in comedy and doesn't have like pre-hatred of the trends that this will come. I felt the same way with like, we saw Borat and I laughed a lot in the theater at the time like when that came out, and then immediately afterwards,

I'm like, I fucking hate this. Yeah, I can do that. Before anybody made a single joke, you just know this is already over and should not be. It was honestly, it was their other show, Detroiters. I believe that was called. Just great. Yeah, it's a great show.

And that more sitcom-like aspect of it made me appreciate what he was doing comedically without that hatred, without that hatred of us. Yeah, that might be, I have that same thing, but I think that might be media brain where you are able to project. You see a thing and you can project a pattern on just the one thing you just can see it coming. I mean, I just got both barrels of Tim and Eric

working in the workshop at Cracked and fielding. I wasn't on the video team, but we all had to watch and try and make feedback on when people would pitch us videos. And it was just non-stop, Tim and Eric. But Tim and Eric's the hardest thing to do, just like I think you should leave, is the hardest thing to do. It's hard to even explain like how and why this works.

Right. So it's almost impossible to explain to somebody why this is different and doesn't work. Like why you're not doing the same thing as timonarex, why you're not doing the same thing as I think you should leave one on paper on the surface that looks like you are, and I just, I guess I'm sick of it. Ha ha ha ha. I 100% understand. I get that way sometimes with Wolf Farr on movies, I think he's very

funny and great, but then like you see Wolf Farr on movie and you're like, oh damn it, these are the fucking 11 lines I'm gonna hear from my name is Friends for the next several years. Yeah, very much so. Like I don't think I was on the ball enough when like anchor man came out, but when like Telodega nights came out and like all right. Mm-hmm. No, that was funny. But I'm just mad about it. Yeah, yeah, they wrote catch phrases into the movie.

Like sometimes they know, sometimes they're like, oh, people are gonna be saying this. And you're like, that's one I check out pretty hard. I don't know the funny answer. I guess scavengers rain is, I probably been recommended this by your nerd friends. It's this animated show on max. It's kind of got a Jeff Darrell vibe with it's like the gentle line work that really detailed kind of looks rotoscopes and it's about people on this alien planet and everything's like super fucked up like the whole thing's designed by a biology nerd.

So everything's got a strange life cycle. And things happen. You're just like, what the fuck am I looking at? And it takes a few episodes of just an assault of weirdness. So it sort of feels like an old MTV cartoon or a heavy metal maybe. And then finally, a plot starts to develop. To develop.

And it becomes really compelling. I was really impressed by that show. Well, so a plot does to develop to develop and it becomes really compelling. I was really impressed by that show. Well, so a plot does develop in that show. I watched the first episode and I was like, this is pretty, I'll backburn her. I'll watch this when I am almost vegetative and I need some lights. I'm really glad I pushed through because it comes together. It gets pretty red. You know what, 30 coins.

We've talked about 30 coins on the podcast before. Season two is out now, and there were people we were in the Discord recently, and a ton of people had not seen 30 coins, or didn't know we talked about it, because that was early days. 30 coins, it's on HBO Max, it's a Spanish language show. You watch the first episode, and you think you know

where it's going, you think it's about a priest coming into this small Spanish town, and there's like some exorcism stuff, like maybe the devil's here, maybe he isn't, they can set up like the priest is playing very coy at the start, like every time something weird happens, he's like, ah, you know, I have a perfectly logical explanation for this, you have to think skeptically, and they're like, why don't you believe in miracles? And anyway, that's the first half of the first episode. And then a giant baby shows up, they're like, why don't you believe in miracles? And anyway, that's the first half of the first episode. And then a giant baby shows up. You're like, what the fuck, why is the giant,

how's he gonna explain the giant baby? And he's like, fuck, the giant baby again. All right, I was afraid of this. And then by the end of the first episode, the giant baby has morphed into a giant baby spider controlled by a witch with a sacred rattle. And he's fighting it with like a machine gun. You're fucking what the fuck this is episode one and that show rules always straight through to the end where the

reverse Catholics, that's that's real. I hold on spoilers for everything. For the reverse Catholics who in my favorite bit of visual storytelling dress in white robes with little black collars. Yeah, it's great. They finally crown the anti-pop. Again, their words, they crown the anti-pop. And he is defeated by the world's most badass bird. Just flies in and fucking does bird shit at him until he dies.

And then there's like a demon in the size of a church that they fight with like dual wielding oozes and a season two starts starts with like two of the main characters in hell and their story line takes place as they are fighting their way through hell. This is live action. They somehow have an astonishing budget. They somehow have an astonishing budget. It rules. It still kind of looks like shit. It's awesome, but also it's bad in the perfect amounts. I said it, I pinned it down in the discord. It is to Silent Hill, what like Milo Jova Vitch's

Resident Evil movies were. It is the Silent Hill Catholic Weird guilt metaphorical version of the Resident Evil and Mielejöva Vitch movies. Where's Goofy and Ridiculous and it's like clearly got millions of dollars, but it still sort of looks like shit. It's just the most fun. Yeah, it is very fun. I haven't watched season two yet because it was on dubbed,

and it was on dubbed, and I was just like, all the sucks dubbed. It's all the life better than, yeah, but then, you know, something came up. So I'll get to it, but I need to. It's somehow worse, like artistically, and that I think they got a different director who's a little more Jason Bourne shaky cam,

but it makes up for it way more in that they seriously, they're like, they don't do that thing. And a lot of shows were like, we have to restart the build, right, we have to restart the build up from kind of nothing into something again. They go, we left off with them fucking going to hell and fighting Johnny Monsters, we got up it from here

and they do. Well, those are great recommendations, I think. Johnny unusual writes, is there something you've discovered in a research phase that you feel proud for finding? I think, let's see, back at crack that in article about comics being racist, and I was very proud that I found an example of every single justice society member, saying or doing something explicitly unthinkable even for the time. So that was a goal I gave myself. It was like I got to get every single one of these guys

saying something terrible and I did. I discovered Don Debel's pen name, that was something on his book about picking up top standards. And he had a fake name. I'm like wait, I know who fucking wrote this. I found one of the writers of Fartham movie and contacted him and even figured out which sketch he wrote, which he did not like. He thought he's not appreciate. He appreciated it, but he wasn't super happy about that. I think I figured out the writer of how to make Data Jamaican Man was secretly white.

I think I figured out the writer of how to make, Data Jamaican Man was secretly white. I did a, there's an article I did about the Game Pro fan mail and I was pretty proud of all the emerging patterns that I discovered through all that research that the clear fan base of murderers who read that magazine. I think I'm one of the most proud of when I got way too deep. Like I started off with Sensei Dave Seeger making fun of the most proud of when I got way too deep. I started off with Sensei Dave Seeger, making fun of the karate rower.

Yes. Which was, which was easy. It was just like a low key viral thing. And my thesis was like, look how hard these people wanted to be viral. And they actually, against all odds, got to do it. And then I fell down that hole. And what I eventually found was an unaird pilot they created,

since David and his family. I found out that they were like a dynasty of crappy art creators. So that their children were all created, their father had made bat might. That was their claim to fame. And so they, that's why they couldn't let go. And so they made an unaird pilot of a children's show about how karate is magic. Only they made every decision, fucking wild

and wrong and ended up trying to teach children the karate is like literally magic. And that was accidentally the point of their show when they had this yet. And nobody, nobody had ever seen it at the, because this was, this wasn't even on the same channel as Karate Wrap. This was like, I found their kids' channel just from like name searching and their various shell companies. And then found this unared pilot with like, at the time, you know, 20 views or whatever. And I found that and then the discord went nuts

and they found out that one of the children in that was Paul Dano, was actor Paul Dano. And that was, that would make this by quite some time his first televised film appearance. So this is his very first role. This is where we got Paul Dano from. Why is the riddler? Like, this is where he came from. And then, as an example of how great and in St. Our Community is, they then went on a campaign, jumping through every single technical loophole, it takes to change a major celebrities IMDB profile.

And they got it done and so now Paul Dano's very first role is in Sensei Rainbow and the Dojo Kids, this fucking pilot that I unearthed. That's it. Not going to beat that one and that now you can go, well I don't know, it probably doesn't work anymore, but after that you could go search Twitter for Sensei Rainbow, and you would find all of these Paul Dano fans who were looking through his profile, being like, what the fuck is Sensei Rainbow? And so they would be fine there.

You could watch people find out about it and start making fun of Paul Dano for his very first role in this terrible, terrible show. And like, just, that was us. That was us. That was us. That was us. That was beautiful. We were, we were beautiful for a time. For a time.

Uh, you might not have an answer for this one. Um, I was thinking about this. What's the first time you remember being really bemused or confounded by a piece of art? It's from the angle that kids are willing to accept a lot of stuff we might find weird as adults. I have an answer for that. Oh, yeah. Okay. It wasn't at the time. It wasn't airing at the time. It air a little bit on I forget where probably TBS or something when I was in my early teens, but it was airing in the 80s and it was... I'm not gonna get this title right. Rubik the amazing cube.

You know what I'm talking about? Yeah, I know exactly who you're talking about. Okay, so I was probably... That's exactly what it sounds like. I was probably 12 or 13 at the time. And I was just not really thinking critically about media. I liked a lot of bizarre shit, but I did not really think about it. And I liked a lot of 80s cartoons, even though I didn't remember much of them from being a kid.

And I think Rubik the amazing cube was like mid to early 80s. So I was I was too young. I was too young to like process any of this. But it came on and I was just like, what the fuck are you doing? Because Rubik the Amazing Cube was a product show of which they're remaining in the 80s for for the Rubik's Cube. And instead of making it, this is so easy, you guys. The Rubik's Cube is like a sacred object.

It's like a, it's your McGuffin or it's the thing that gives like a power. You can solve your place in the universe or whatever. Like, maybe the different colors do different shit. There's any number of like things that as a kid, you know this is how the 80s product cartoon works. Like, you know how to do this. Like even as a 12 year old, like, you know how to do this. Like even as a 12 year old, like, I know how to write this.

I know how to give that object its place in the show as the central thing. They get their powers. We have it. And they said, no, Rubik is a guy. He's a little cube guy. And this show is about him. And they give him arms and legs.

And the goblin head. He went, you saw that. Like legs and a goblin head. He went two shots. Like a little weird goblin. You're like, what the fuck are you doing? Like you fucked up this easy assignment. So hard, that was the first time I really reflected on like there are people whose job this is

and further there are people who should not have this job. I mean, I grew up loving cartoons, super friends and I just, I remember as a kid, like, not giving a shit, like when they're inconsistent with their stuff. Like, I just sort of forgave everything. But there was a video I got called Karate Size Workout. My mom's dad got all kinds of weird shit from his merchandising business. And so, it was a workout where they did karate exercises

But then they would do like feats of karate mysticism So they would like stand on knives or let motorcycles run over their tummies or whatever and one of them was talking about his karate Trans and how like he had to invent the karate man had to invent the trance because it was before bandages And so warriors had to like close their wounds with their mind powers And I remember thinking like, just as I must have been 10, they're like, you fucking kid him, you with this shit. Like I remember just instantly,

like understanding that adults could just be completely full of shit. And like the stuff you see on TV, even if it's awesome parrotti stuff might be complete bullshit. Even just the idea that this was before bandages, motherfucker, there was nothing before bandages. You could put the very first monkey,

put a leaf on a cut. Yeah, that's incredible. I have to invent karate magic to close the wound because we hadn't invented putting something on it, putting something on a thing. You thought we didn't invent? I think since then, like it took a few years after that before I could kind of switch on and off the,

you're not supposed to think about that. I guess it's the same way you decided something sucks or rules. So if you're watching Time Cop, you can choose whether or not they're Delmas' or Strauman consistent it is, or whether they're awesome for not giving a fuck. Like, or both, or both.

Yeah, it's a vibe, I guess. Like, it's determined by like ability and competence. So if you're watching the piece of art that makes no sense, you have to decide how smart they are, what they're going for, who's it for? It's probably the most fundamental element of like, what we do with the hot dog, like, Chris is a roasty, whatever you wanna call it.

So, I guess the point I'm trying to make is nothing means anything by itself. The nonsense has to be coupled with an intent to not be nonsense or a failure to be the right kind of nonsense for it to fail. It's hard to explain, but it's probably the culmination of decades of overthinking and like what makes what we do, not for everybody.

It's why those movies that are like, I am consciously going to make a bad 80s movie or whatever are never good. They're never fun. You're never like, oh yeah, this is great that you made a bad movie. Maybe you should have put that effort into making a good movie.

Right. And then the same people who would have enjoyed it can now enjoy it. You know what I mean? Like like if you attempt sincerity and fail you've made a bad movie that people can enjoy rather than a bad movie. No one can enjoy. Yes. Because it's such a miracle if someone sets out to make a bad movie and it turns out to be like bad in a good way. It's happened, but... How's it happened? Like I do a lot of joke book articles,

which is that that's six, a very special kind of joke book to try to be like a lappy, tapy joke, which already is the best case scenario, it's not gonna be good. And then miss that, to somehow get the structure so wrong that like, the fucked up, this easy task. And now it becomes like roasting you for how you, you don't understand how fucking jokes work.

Joke book writer. 101 hamburger jokes. God, what a fucking perfect title. And you whiffed it. Yeah, fucking set the bar reasonably low with 100 jokes. And you found out you had zero. Let's do theme weeks.

Kill shed proprietor spotty. As did the theme weeks go as well as you expected. Do you have any ideas for more? I think they went great. They went better than I expected because we were just kind of spitball on them as like goals and then they ended up being some of the favorite traps I have ever laid. I'm not sure why they had turned into punishment and traps they did. They did though. They did though.

And the next one is we are, we are, our astonishment are almost there. We're like 25 bucks away right now. The next one is 8-week. Oh, that's true. Yeah, 8-weeks at 14,000, but we generally call it once Patreon stabilizes. However, as we answered in an earlier question, they are no longer losing all the money at like the end of the month. They still lose an okay amount, but I think we'll probably get to it next month sometime. So eight weeks, eight weeks coming up and I am pretty stoked for eight week. I like, I like some eight weeks. We are just gonna talk about Congo again at some point.

I'm fine with that. Yeah, like for puppet week, I guess I was actually, I find myself more motivated with the theme week because I had like 25 potential puppet books that I've been meaning to write about or videos or whatever. And they all kind of felt too normal for a theme week. So I found that Charlie McCarty movie

and like changed all the subtitles as 80 year old Nightmare Puppet movie. And I'm like, yeah, I've done anything like this before. Or I have, but maybe not that often. I was so excited to talk about Kurt Hiss and how off the rails that went from just being a low grade puppet show to like, I'm gonna be the Martin Scorsese of puppets and everything.

But I also had the cannibal child bluster, which if you haven't listened to that episode, sorry. That was. And if you have listened to that episode, it's sorry. I'm also sorry. But yeah, I held on to that. I knew that one way, way early. Somebody came into our discord. I think I don't remember what their this discord handle was off the top of my head. I think came into our discord and we're first year, first year for sure. And I just held onto it all that time until we hit puppet week. And it was worth it and turned out way better than expected. So yes, try and fit success all around. Let's see, Drew Von Osmos, what's a topic or piece of material that to be put nicely, you guys would like us to shut the fuck up about. I honestly think I kind of grew out of

that. I'm okay with running gags even if they're running to the ground. My patience is obviously below average. So I certainly hate them more than you, whoever you are, but I say do whatever the fuck you want. I guess I kind of also like when something goes from tired to saga, you know, like maybe 20 heathcliffs is kind of boring, but a thousand heathcliffs is like a legacy of madness. But a ritual built around heathcliff? The turning heathcliff into an assault? It's fantastic, yeah, And it's absolutely tight. It's been run completely into the ground,

but that's kind of what makes it work. I had no idea that it would become that fundamental after. I just really wanted to get through like my thesis that the Heathcliff is the child from the Twilight Zone corner episode and is ruling his pocket universe with an iron fist. And I feel like I succeeded on that. And I was like, okay, well that's over.

Nope, years later. I had all. Giant usual again, he asks which two creators of media examined in one 100 hot dog that you most like to put in a room together. I think it's S Rob for sure. Mm-hmm. And then I'm, it's really tight. Oh, I think it would S-Rob for sure. And then it's really tight.

I think it would be JR Fleming. Whoever JR Fleming is, if I can bring him back into this universe, I feel like that would be, you know the battle at the end of big trouble in little China, where they're both got like their stance, so to speak, and Cho Cho terms, like they're both like both wizards are there just making facial expressions and hand signs as hard as they can while huge neon samurai fight above them. Yeah.

And like I feel like it would be that except for without the neon samurai. Uh huh. Like that exact scene, but remove all the special effects. And I would love to see that. Yeah, that would be good. I decided on the semen eater and the guy who wrote the Erkel joke book. I think it was fascinating to watch them figure out how to fuck. Yeah, I think the semen eater is going to try to convince anybody in that room to eat his semen.

Yep. I think probably only the Erkel joke but guy would be a spline list enough to, to acquiesce. Yeah, shut. Maybe I am wrong. Maybe it is normal. We got a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a what they say. I have the same three answers for each one. Jean-Claude Van Dam. Oh, that's tough. I would, okay, I would fuck Van for sure. Okay, good. I think I'd marry, I'd marry Jean.

You'd marry Jean? Well, Jean-Claude is the one that has a high tone. I don't know if I'd marry a Jean-Claude. I kill a Jean-Claude. Okay, so that means... And that is Mary-Dame. You're gonna marry Dam. Yes. That's beautiful.

I definitely fuck Van there. You got a fuck van. You got a... You got a... That's what a van's for. Yeah. Like, Lemon Swarright, they ask... Wait, I think we've done this one.

But the Jamie Cutting one. Yeah, we've done that one. There is a little follow up lemon tour I asked. Okay. Who decides on the hard cutoff points at the end of the podcast episodes is that Brock Wayne Shaw maybe or Jamie or both or neither is that a vengeful spirit. It is kind of all of us. You'll hear a lot of times if you listen to the behind the scenes

You'll hear it when we just know like somebody will say a line will be like well, that's it. It's over Yeah, that's that's done and sometimes we can sense as a group like when we're wrapping it up And we all naturally kind of try to put a button on it like we're all trying to get that exit line. Yeah, it doesn't work Hardly ever works when you could like feel like, okay, it's been two hours. Let's just go. Yeah. So, in that case, it's often Jamie who will do it in the edits. We'll find just a spot. And if they don't, I do a final pass on the podcast episodes after and then I will be

the one who decides that between the three of us, between doing it live in the podcast, probably happens about a third of the time, between Jamie getting it a third of the time. It's just me So it's kind of a team effort all around. Yeah, everybody everybody gets it everybody know I said who did Frankfurt I said who did Frankfurt Now Inso Podcasts, Knoz, Urmibachsmall und Chao! Dog Frankfurt Podcast, Kundeck, Ja! Die Kraft ist nicht rach, ist nicht Urne! Schick die In-Dehunde-Zone, die Ohren-E-Stunde! Kup-Zone, du Kitschen du Wach!

Einstein Hunder! Einstein Hunder Frankfurt! Einstein Hunder Frankfurt! Einstein Hunder! Einstein Hunder Frankfurt! It's Hot Dog Junction America's last comedy, children's variety, trivia, Keohaw laughing for Christ. Now he is Robin Markey. Thanks, Yodel and Julius. I'm Robin, my friend Markey here wants to tell you all about the supremeist cat this side of Job 410. Take it away, Markey.

Aaron Crosston, Adrian H. Aaron Moore. And, Crosstin, E3 and H, and in lower. Alpha, Scythe, Sjolo. Alpha, Slythe, Slythe, Alpha. Alpha, Scythe, Sjolo. Yeah! Unending. Undone now.

And it's over. And it's over. It's Benjamin Sirenin. It's Benjamin Sirenin. It's Benjamin Sirenin. It's Benjamin Sirenin. It's Benjamin Sirenin. It's Benjamin Sirenin. It's Benjamin Sirenin.

It's Benjamin Sirenin. It's Benjamin Sirenin. It's Benjamin Sirenin. It's Benjamin Sirenin. It's Benjamin Sirenin. It's Benjamin Sirenin. It's Benjamin Sirenin. It's Benjamin Sirenin.

It's Benjamin Sirenin. It's Benjamin Sirenin. It's Benjamin Sirenin. It's Benjamin Sirenin. It's Benjamin Sirenin. It's Benjamin Sirenin. It's Benjamin Sirenin. It's Benjamin Sirenin. It's Benjamin Sirenin. It's Benjamin Sirenin. It's Benjamin Sirenin. It's Benjamin Sirenin. It's Benjamin Sirenin. It's Benjamin Sirenin. It's Benjamin Sirenin. It's Benjamin Sirenin. It's Benjamin Sirenin. It's Benjamin Sirenin. It's Benjamin Sirenin. It's Benjamin Sirenin. It's Benjamin Sirenin. It's Benjamin Sirenin. It's Benjamin Sirenin. It's Benjamin Sirenin. It's Benjamin Siren. It's Benjamin Sirenin. It's Benjamin Sirenin. It's Benjamin Sirenin. It's Benjamin Sirenin. It's Benjamin Sirenin. It's Benjamin Sirenin, let's call it our day. Trickle of life! Fight us! Tandry! Tand the wrongs are free!

Take it slow! Game cost of all! Prison! Dusty's right total! Heroic freedom! Every single! Horseshark! Don't chase Rats all! Rats all! Rats all! Rats all! Rats all!

Rats all! Rats all! Rats all! Rats all! Rats all! Rats all! Rats all! Rats all! Rats all! I'm a heavy fan of water. I'm a heavy fan of water.

Hello. A Harvey Pan Guetti. I'm a heavy fan of water. How to fart? Hock. Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey Joseph R. Esther. Joseph Sulfur. John H. H. H. H. H. Joseph S. R. S. S. H. H.

H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. And Johnny Shuffle! And Johnny Shuffle! That's enough! That's right!

That's right! No color! I feel orange! No colors! Those that are really hard! Okay, just close and talker! Close you! And you!

Meals, Eilies! Eilies, paper! and do the Ovela Elf Mico Necrolson Ovela Patrick Hertz Patrick Hertz Patrick Hertz

yet I know everybody knows what's in their hearts okay Rachel Brianna Spark Osky Sean Chase I heard it hurts, okay? Rachel, we're in the Sparckowski Sean Chase, Scotty Recephan, Silverna, Anten, edit, Hush, Hush, Hush, Hush, Hush, Hush, Hush, Hush, Hush, Hush, Hush, Hush, Hush, Hush, Hush, Hush, Hush, Hush, Hush, Hush, Hush, Hush, Hush, Hush, Hush, Hush, Hush, Hush, Hush, Hush, Hush, Hush, Hush, Hush, Hush, Hush, Hush, Hush, Hush, Hush, Hush, Hush, Hush, Hush, Hush, Hush, Hush, Hush, Hush, Hush, Hush, Hush, Hush, Hush, Hush, Hush, Hush, Hush, Hush, Hush, Hush, Hush, Hush, Hush, Hush, Hush, Hush, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, I was serian and the last but not least, three, 12, three, two, three, four,

yeah. Okay, okay, hold up, I'm gonna do a good two parts. Three, three, three, 12, I'm just gonna do a fast-reveh. Three, 12, I'm gonna turn it off.

Three, fuck this, I'm gonna go eat some kids. I'm just gonna do a fast, real fast. There you go, man, I'm gonna turn you hell. I'm gonna be a fuck this, I'm gonna go eat some kids.