The Dogg Zzone by 1900HOTDOG - Dogg Zzone 9000 - Episode 158, Space Cadets 2 With Gareth Edwards

Episode Date: January 17, 2024

Brockway doesn't care that Seanbaby and guest, Gareth Edwards, know none of this is real. They don't get to leave! They have to spend the next five days in the back of a Greyhound bus breathing exhaust and watching the finale of Space Cadets, the British reality TV prank show about convincing innocent dopes they went to space.

1,900 hot dog! 1,900 hot dog! A podcast slammed with maximum height! Say hot dog podcast worked! Yeah! We need to taste that nitrate power! You're in the dog zone for an hour! Come on!

You know the number! 1,900 hot dog to 1900 hot dog. America's last anything website. All of modern media is collapsing, but baby, treating us just fine. Come find the finest and only human comedy writers left alive at one 900 hot dog. Patreon.com slash one 900 hot dog support us. Yeah, as we are slowly eaten by robots, we need your support. I'm Robert Rockway and I'm doing it.

I'm one of three special contestants who actually made it into this podcast. With me, it's my comedy partner. He puts the ace in space and the ass in this podcast. It's Sean Baby. It's a pleasure to be here. I've been assured by several terrible actors that I am in space and the walls are shaking a little bit so I'm pretty convinced. I can hear somebody laughing outside,

but I figured that's probably space laughter. It's just normal, how do space star laughter? And our guest today, who I'm starting to think isn't really a former KGB hitman, Gareth Edwards. Yeah, nice to be back and be putting another what two hours more thought into this entire show and the writers ever did. And anybody collectively involved,

except for the special effects crew, which we'll get to, apparently, apparently they put several million dollars of effort into this thing. We are doing space cadets again before we get into the rest of this God awful show. Uh, Gareth, where can people find more of you? Yeah, so I have a tech history column over at every, so every.io, um, so there's a tech history newsletter, um, and I do weird stuff on YouTube and

Twitch as well, gaming and, uh, history bits, uh, history of TV and all that kind of stuff. So yeah, and that just, uh, is a barrier. And you'll find me on YouTube on them Twitter and blue skies. Gary is nice fantastic Sean. Where can they find more of me? Oh Robert Brock we can be found in his bestselling book carrier wave along with the hilarious and adoring the lustrious comedy website 1900 hotdog dot com Fantastic and if you need more Sean, baby, you won't believe this. It's one 900 hot dot dot com. Fantastic. And if you need more, Sean, baby, you won't believe this, it's one 900 hot dog dot com or the dog zone

podcast, which weight, that's this one. That's the one we're doing right now. So jumping into that. I'll go twist to this. Is that that twist? That's the twist. It was all fake. You've been in this podcast the whole time. You haven't left this podcast. Right. Right. We've mentioned this 70 times during our testimonials. We knew the whole time. We've been trying to tell you. We did part one last week. We're still talking space cadets,

which is the 2005 British reality TV prank series hosted by a man named Johnny Vaughn, who we all agree seems like Brec. For no reason, we can really specifically place just a general vibe. I have some specific things in my notes where I can prove he's a prick. Okay, fantastic. I'm glad we'll get there.

I'm all about like having a gut feeling about somebody and then somebody justifying it and I'll be like, yeah, I was right. I was right to do that, that's snap judgment. Space cadets is a show about taking everyday brits and making them think they're on some kind of reality show, not telling them what it is, sending them to brutal training in a Russian prison. Let's just call it what it is. It's a prison. And then blasting them into space only without ever actually leaving Ipswich, is where it actually takes place

in Britain. So they steal a month of their lives and exchange it for just brutal, physical and mental torture. And then at the end they say it was all for nothing. And you get to do it again. The prize is you get to go for real this time to the real space camp, which I'm sure you don't have conflicted feelings about now. And you win enough to buy a mid-size sedan, but only the ones who actually make it to space. A fantastic prank. but now, and you win enough to buy a mid-size sedan,

but only the ones who actually make it to space. A fantastic prank. Of what a wonderful prank. It's like if the Truman show was 14 weeks long at the end, they just kicked him carrying the dick. Or if they kicked him the dick constantly throughout the whole time, at the end, they were like, ah, sorry, it was for nothing.

I know, I know, I'm telling you. The whole time, why at the end they were like, ah, sorry, it was for nothing. I know, I knew, I was telling you. The whole time, why is this movie 14 weeks long? Everyone who knows is laughing at you constantly for now on and scamming you. Yeah, scamming you because what you've really done, they psychologically tested all of these contestants to make sure they were the most gullible and trusting people alive. So now everybody in Britain knows that like this dipshit will believe anything and they have quite a bit of money. Well, a modest amount of money coming out of this. And you can go on, there's at least six Microsoft support packages bought.

Yes. That's what you're dealing with. That's the kind of person you have self-selected for. And then spent millions of dollars and hundreds and hundreds of man hours trying to fool them only to not ultimately not really fool to be there after they Figure out it's a prank. They just get fooled again. They're like no, no, no, no, no, no, no, what are you talking about? It's not prank. All right. Okay Okay, but seem the little weird that this opened up. Oh, the whole studio is a spaceship. Okay, so we are, it's makes sense. So we left off with penis gate,

where Paul are our trusting dog of a man, drew a little penis on Kerry, who genuinely wants to be an astronaut's paper, and they had a very polite argument that the producers really tried to make more than it was. And nothing ultimately happened of this because this is terrible show executed poorly, but we are going to start with Christmas in space. Is that a snowflake floating past the window of my rocket?

Is that love I can feel in my space suit pocket? Is that Rudolf riding past on a meteorite? There are tears in my eyes, but it's not because my straps are too tight. It's because it's Christmas in space. The moon That was Charlie. There was cone of my rocket has started to melt. That was Charlie. He's the actor they have had a... That wasn't Morrissey. You can't prove it wasn't Morrissey. I might have been a Morrissey cover, it sounds like him.

Charlie is one of the plants. There have been plants the whole way. He's the only one left that's actually going this way. So I've complicated feelings about this moment. It's kind of cute, it's not funny, but it's kind of cute. Right. But real crap. They really were given a lot of a lot of. Yeah.

Just again, reinforcing that all of them are just fundamentally nice people who shouldn't be pranked in a way. Yep. Well, what that's how they present this in the show is of course like this is quirky. This is funny, but also they frame it like this is yet another hint that they're not what they seem. Things are not what they seem. Can you believe they're falling for this song by Charlie? That seems like a goofy song. Understand that at all.

Yeah, like there's a weird vibe from the show that like, aha, we just gave them a clue and they ignored it. You're like, what the fuck with the gloopy? Then he wrote a kind of funny song in an afternoon when he's cooped up with nothing else to do for five fucking days. After they'd given in the cup of story that he's a poet.

Yeah, that he's a poet. Nobody's setting was a good poet. I don't know, this is a cute thing to do when you're fucking out of your mind with boredom after being five days. They act like- I just hold on, I like the idea of like taking this moment and then like reliving it three weeks from now

when they say, hey, it's all a prank is if they're gonna be like, my God, that's you being the song, wasn't real? Like there's no prank here. There's no, there's no reveal or twist. But it's also a necessity wholesome because what happens is they always just start writing poetry and letting their feelings out. And it's like, you can almost hear the producers going, no, no, that's not what you meant to do.

You meant to mock him. Mock him. Yeah. Right. Like, I'm not sure what you were supposed to, what you were getting out of this here, but like acting like it was a clue because what? What if somebody, what if Paul had that been and gone like, wait a minute? This is all fake. And then just in a mad berserker rage, like kick down the wall and running through the studio,

like, it was the song, the song gave it a no. Like, what's your end game? There's nothing, there's nothing here. Except for the fact that you took Christmas away from these people to do this, which I did not realize until just now, until the song. It's filmed the whole Christmas. It's like, we can fake you out

and destroy your memories of Christmas forever. And to make your home. They could have filmed it any time during the year. Specifically, for Christmas, put them in a hot box with like five other people for five straight days and shook it around and you shook it madly the whole time. It's not even the coldest time of the year in Ipswich. If you're gonna do it, you do it now, you do it early January.

Like that's when you should film it, not December. But just in it for cruelty, they have to. Yeah. So back in the last episode, Johnny talked up how big a hurdle the plausible explanation for weightlessness is and how clever they are for scurting it, which is to remind everyone, he said that you just weren't getting high enough, they're barely high enough to achieve orbit, they might feel like lessons gravity. And then because

that didn't get the reaction, they said, okay, we can push this farther and tell them there are gravity generators. And they still didn't really have any questions. And so I don't get what the laugh is at that. Like I get, we understand that there aren't such a thing as gravity generators. That's kind of dumb. You didn't call that out. Like that's a failure in the educational system. But they don't do anything with that. There's no malfunction where they suddenly just like

launch the whole shuttle simulator into the air to make them achieve zero gravity real quick. Like there's no there's no beat to this. Okay, it doesn't. Yeah, it pissed me off because when I was watching the first part when they just said we just don't go above the carbon line. So you're going to have it. And I was like, okay, so it's not like they're telling them they have a gravity device. And then later they tell them they have gravity device. And I'm just pissed off by like the ineligence of that, like the people making the show forgot, but also how they have selected people who don't know what gravity devices are. Like they asked all these people before they started

the prank. Hey, do you know about this anti-gravity device? They're like, what are you talking about? And they're like, okay, cool, you're in. Ha ha, pranked. And the conditions, but they do it later again by kind of dropping in the name of the airbase, the whole things filmed on, but like they explicitly said the two things they selected for were people who didn't know anything about space or military bases. Right. You this. I'll give an example of how this kind of works. And it's the the old, the old ancient at this point, Jay Leno, like man on the street sketches, where he'd go and just find anyone on the street

and ask them a question. And they'd make an ass out of themselves with something they didn't know about. That sucks, but that's a prank because it's just selecting cold out of nothing. You had a chance to deal with it. This is like finding one of the uncontacted tribes people on Sentinel Island and then kidnapping

them and throwing them like waking them up on a plane and being like, what's that out there? What's that out there? Like once they panic, you're like, that's the prank. Like no, they don't know. They don't know anything. They don't know this. They don't make this a prank.

There's nothing. There's no end games. The only thing in their brains is the stuff that you have taught them, which is deliberately false. Yep. You make the good point that it's like the difference between a psychic cold reading where you're like, oh, this psychic is good at, you know, tricking this person to think they're talking to their dead grandma versus like going on someone's Facebook and learning the name of their dead grandma and the date they died, running up to them and say, I know when Gertrude died. You know, like that's, it's just like one is kind of interesting and the other they died, go running up to them and say, I know when Gertrude died. You know, like, it's just like one is kind of interesting

and the other one is like, should be criminal. It's just stacking the deck so much in your favor. I like the way Rainy, one of the other actors, who they're still on the ground and they're fake Russian training camp at this point with their actor plants going through the training. And Rainy says in her testimonial, I think you could tell this group anything about space and they believe you.

And then after a very long pause, she says, I would also believe you. Yeah, but she's the actress, right? Yes. She puts absolutely zero effort into it for the whole show. Like she is coaching through the whole thing. Charlie's going, I've got to do well here because I have a future career to think about. And Rainy's just like, man, people pay for my food for a month, it's fine. She might have disrupted the show more than anything else, though, because there was a scene where they're teaching them how to go potting in space.

And they're going, uh, the lady asks, hey, are there any smells that somebody likes? If somebody doesn't like. And she says she says yeah the fucking black guy and Everyone's like what the shit and the in the black Andrew he's like yeah, what fuck you? I hit you too, and he's like that's messed up You can't tell people that they stink on TV. It's like this weird ball-busting joke that maybe you do for your little brother But not for a guy you just met His list messed up And that's and she's there to like I guess cause drama but shut it all down.

I do wonder if that was the thing when they said that they had to take a recite in the room, be like no rainy, not like that. Not like that. And we said we wanted to pipe up a bit, but no, just not through low level racism. Just anything else. You're giving them so much credit because I think that was a producer note. I think somebody was like, okay, penis skate was nothing.

We need some drama in here. Tail Andrew, he stinks and she was like, all right. Went ahead and did it. And was like, oh, wait, oh wait, the racial thing. I got to have a space racist now. Speaksist. So we're doing all these diaries. All the actors are doing testimonials. Charlie is in there going about talking about how he's getting his to fool all these people. How unnecessary all their bits are. And then Paul comes in after them and he talks about how he's struggling

with the homework, which is 80% actual like science homework, at least, like high school level homework. And then he gives a little testimonial about how badly he wants this, not badly enough to study, but pretty badly. I do have that clip. And he makes one excellent point here. I think he'll all spot it.

I know I'm never gonna be a rocket scientist. We're brain surgeon, but I want to be an astronaut. So, should I, fucking revise so much to a point where I like and just constantly not enjoy myself? Or is this supposed to be fun? It's supposed to be a... Um... A holiday.

Or a gopenter's space. It's a TV program. They're very much fun watching people study in. I go quick, get, stop making the tea, quick getting there, quick, quick, look, a bit has passed a pen to pull. Boy. Pfft.

Pfft. Pfft. Boy. You might notice this has been exactly what I want to say three of the entire middle episodes are is just watching them study. Paul has the producer note that would have saved this show. I don't know about that, but it's a good note. It's a good note, and it's again, it's another one of like, you controlled the edit.

You didn't have to show it a bit where he just absolutely nailed the problems of your entire show. Yeah. I mean, you didn't have to show any of this. You could have just, you could have avoided this entire problem. But also you didn't have to show the bit where the stupidest guy here

pins your exact problem to the wall and just fucking hammeres it in like Martin Luther, just bam, right here. This is the problem Yes, that is possible that the editors specifically hated the producers of the show and was intentionally making the worst show possible That because there's a lot of supercuts of people like spotting the prank and I Feel like that's specifically what you wouldn't include if you were a good at it But they're all and they're on it's like while you spot this, the same five supercuts each time. Yeah.

So it's like, they try and make a big thing about everyone on the verge of guessing this. And then you realize that actually each of them has been once on the verge of guessing it. And then they're just desperately repeating the same scenes over and over again. Well, yeah. I would argue several of them have not been on the verge

would have guessed it exactly. And we will get to that point. To an uncanny degree that I don't know, I would have guessed it. And they're still like, the part of what I love is that after everyone guesses it, they pause for a while and look around like, are balloons gonna come down?

Like, are we done? I guess I didn't guess it. I guess that wasn't it. Because even Paul knows how to land this show better than the producers He said he called the nutriever It's solved the problem better than its owner. I mean he's saying Why would this possibly be a prank show when there's so much boring shit here? Yeah, like wait There's not fun. I get it. No, that's not the conclusion Like, no, that's not. The conclusion anyone would come to after you've decided this is a prank is,

no, that's fucking crazy. No one would do that. That's, no. We'll have that almost word for word from I think it's Louise later. Johnny talks about the spacesuits they got. They got these secondhand spacesuits, which are actual real spacesuits,

and how they actually, they completely wreak of piss, as he knows. Which I guess makes sense because we're gonna do the digressing next brick. One of their rocket scientists brings in, I believe what he calls an astronapy, and empties like a whole can of beer into it to show them like, you could really go to town in this thing.

And Billy, Billy, got it so hard to specify what makes Billy a different idiot than Paul. Uh, I think he's just had things a little easier. Like maybe I get the sense that maybe Paul's idiocy has caused more problems in his life than Billy's. Yeah, that makes sense. I think Paul was a big force of somebody. I'm aware of it, I think. Yeah. Like, I think he knows he's kind of a dope, whereas Billy would never believe you. If you pull those, he's a Labrador, whereas Billy thinks he's a rot wire. Yeah, Billy, Billy thinks he's some sort of born leader. That's true. He's holding, okay, he volunteers in to go in and the spandex body suit and diaper.

They make a big deal of saying, like, look at this body suit. Can you believe they think this is real? We actually got it from a fetish website. And then Johnny admits, it's actually exactly like the one they really use. The fuck are you doing? So fucking stupid. Just gone.

It's all the energies weird too. You put people in a form fitting like receipt and it's gonna get a little sexual, but I feel like the set designer and the astronaut trainers are getting a little too flirty with the ladies. Yeah, and also, I feel like that's diffused a little bit when you're wearing this skin tight suit over a really big, don't be diaper. Yeah. Yeah. But they don't know that. They make them go through yoga and exercises and the camera really molests these women really just drifts over They curve out on them.

It's proper. It's proper early 2000s low-level misogyny throughout the entire show let's be honest. Yeah. Yeah. What do you call it? Male gaze. It's very male-cazy. I'm looking back and like yeah you know what The internet wasn't really in full swing 2005.

Like you had porn, but it wasn't as ubiquitous as it is now. So I guess we were horning or in this would do, but it does absolutely nothing. Why don't you think if you make this show today, you're still gonna put the titties on. I guess like two and a half I was late you're getting a Shannon tweed film on the same channel This is just like this is like a subpar X-man show like

It's just a spandex suit and it's with a diaper and she's lunge Is that weird fantastic for film that never gets talked about yeah, like it's like whacking off to To the ip theft fantastic for film fantastic diaper talked about. Yeah, it's like whacking off to the IP theft. Fantastic for a film. Fantastic diaper for you. Yeah, yeah. Exactly. Only they're all in diapers.

Yes, that's a good point. One girl totally clocks it as a prank here because when they start making them do those stretches, like she's like, oh, this is like prank sexy. Like they're fucking with us. Yeah, carry it. She's carrying. She says, yeah.

She says, I'm sure they made this up so they can laugh at us at a later date. I'm sure they're laughing at us. Yeah, carry, carry. And she says, yeah, she says, I'm sure they made the subs that they can laugh at us at a later date. I'm sure they're laughing at us now. And she's 100% right, like looking through time. 100% right. But I think she also is referring to the instructors because I think they've spent way too much time in the company of the instructors at this point.

Because they're getting lectures for like six hours a day. So it's just too close to each other at this point. It sucks. Well, we skipped over a point that like, I think the ego of the people making this show got a lot of control because the set designer decided he had to walk among this world he created. So one of their astronaut instructors is the set designer. And he kind of seems like is an idiot aside from being able to buy Russian groceries. So he like fucks up all these different things. Like he's, he mentions that they're gonna do a space walk and he's not supposed to do that.

Then he mentions the party they're gonna have and that was supposed to be a surprise. He says, oh yeah, they filmed 2001 a space audit, Odyssey, right here in England. And they're like, oh no, we're in Russia, remember? He's like, oh right, right. So he fucks up about as bad as you could fuck up. And they didn't have to use them.

They could have just got any other actor to come in and say, hi, I'm your astronaut instructor. But I think it's just he had to walk among this world. No, I have a sneak into this point. At this point, even the studio people were saying to me, we are not giving you any more money. Like you won the New Year's Day last. Because there's another sound effects guy turns up again

as the Capcom dude as well. Yeah, so I just do so. But again, that was such a cameo. That seemed like such a cameo that I took it there's the same vibe. It's like these guys are like, oh, we've got to get in this world. I think, okay, so what part of what they've done

when they were casting this show, they made such a big deal out of like having nesting levels of obscurity between each stage. Like if you were an actor that hired for this, you did not know what the part was going to be when you were auditioning. So I think because they were so bad at this, they're throwing a lot of stuff in last minute.

Like I don't think the instructor was, any of his parts were supposed to be there because they were so bad at this, they're throwing a lot of stuff in last minute. I don't think the instructor was, any of his parts were supposed to be there, because why would they plan out six hours a day of actual classroom time the whole time? At some point, they realize this sucks, or somebody gets sick, and you can't just go higher somebody again

when you've gone to all of this ordeal. You know what I mean to like fill a gap. Yeah. Like they would have to be vetted over a course of weeks to meet your, what might be fake standards, but according to you, according to your KFA anyway, they would have to be super secret. So if something, if you need somebody else,

it has to be Johnny Dipshade over here, bringing the coffee, and he's gonna fuck some shit up, which is again, like, what happened? You didn't build backups into your system because you're really bad at this. Because you're really bad at this. So Ryan gets in the space suit and he at the end of class says, well, I'm just gonna piss in this. And then he makes a big deal, he announces it. And everybody's like, don't do that.

Don't do that. He's like, I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do it. And it gets out to Paul outside the classroom. And he goes, I wanna watch Ryan go, we, they make it in a way. I don't know why. And then he runs back into the classroom.

It's like to watch. That's how desperate he is for anything to happen. So every single one of these people is exactly like someone you went to school with who was the worst person in the class, but was in the lower quadrant of people you were happy to hang around with. Sure.

This is like, you wouldn't say they had like a mental issue. But they weren't the one bullying you, but they were one of those classes. They weren't hanging out with the guy who bullied you. They weren't the one you tricked into maybe eating worms. Yeah. Like I want to say, I actually want to say this is probably exactly my group of friends in fifth grade

if they had all just gone through a big scenario, like just from fifths and if they just wish to be adults, this is that never, straight from fifth grade. That's the casting director's dream. That was the first question on the casting call. Is this a big situation? Are you a child who got big? Have you been big?

You have to tell me if you have. Have you encountered a weird fairground machine that predicts the future? Did you see what the answer to that? And then pick them based on it? Yeah, I didn't believe it, but then I woke up big. So Johnny at this point explains that everything's okay what we're doing so far because after the fact, after we had already isolated all of these people, we went to their families

or good friends and gave, they gave us full permission. This is a god, I don't know. An interesting gesture. Like I took it as a, okay, good, but also not enough and does it make up for what you're doing? I took it as the after episode three, someone did it knock on that door and say, guys, you're all kidding it. Yeah, that's probably it.

But it makes, so we after we've already started doing this, we told their family or just somebody that knows them and then asked their permission to abduct these people and they said, sure. So it's fine. Unless, unless everyone of these people has a legal guardian, which in a big scenario, I do believe could be true. I mean, I guess that's definitely has a legal guardian which in a big scenario I do believe could be true. Paul I mean, I guess that's definitely has a legal guardian. Yeah, it's a guardian. It is not the first time Paul has stood up in front of everyone and beaten a diaper. This year, he just wants to watch Ryan do it now. I'm finally finally I'm not the one. So they have there's a wonderful conversation that takes place here. It's Louise and Sarah Jane.

And Louise says she thinks the second man on the moon was Buzz Aldrin. Sarah Jane is quiet for a long time and says, well, how do we even know that? Shit. And everybody, like you kind of laugh at it. But then everybody's just like, huh, Louise says, we don't really. It's just a theory of mine. Sarah Jade says, Sarah Jade says,

well, whoever's in the front of the rocket is technically the first in space. Oh my God. I love this conversation so much because every sentence gets stupider than last and you keep thinking, I know what I can't happen. Charlie the actor, who's good whose good job it is to play along

with this kind of thing says, it doesn't work like that. He's like, he's like some producers back there having an embolism. Charlie, shut the fuck up. She let him go, let him go, Charlie. Sarah Jane elaborate, she says, I guess it's like a dinner cue.

I get my dinner first because I'm in front and then they wrote Paul who's passing by into this. They're like, Paul, what do you think? Because Charlie's still like, this is so stupid. And obviously the first thing you should do in any situation where you need an element of expertise is seek out Paul. This is a breakout Paul.

Paul wanders by. And my favorite moment in the show happens because he's just walking by when they're having the dumbest conversation anybody's ever had well-stoned. And they'd say, Paul, what do you think? And Paul instantly says, yeah, me and Billy have already had this conversation. And he agrees it's whoever sits up front. And so they made, they've become so concerned with this situation.

They've made a mutual agreement to sit on the same side so that that it will be a tie Everyone get on each other's laps so that they're all Neil Armstrong And it keeps escalating Charlie's like, okay. Yeah, well what happens if I like if I'm in the back and I put my foot out Then then I'm the first person. I think it's Paul who's like, yeah, but it's the first person totally in space. So if my butt goes through all the way first, then that's what counts. I'll be the first totally in space.

It's God just, it is an armageddon. It's a scoolybell. And I will have to go to math class. Right? It's upset. This is something I had in conversation in fifth grade and then like in seventh grade, I'm like, God, we're so fucking stupid.

I feel like if you're in a conversation like this and it goes more than two minutes, because that's someone saying, guys, it doesn't fucking matter. Like, you need, there's no breaks on your group. Like you've got a group of all wild cards, you've got a group of all dummies. It's not gonna work out.

You just love it so much that they go to Rope Paul and he's just passing by. He's just like on not going to work out. He just loads so much that they go to rope Paul and he's just passing by. He's just like on the way to the bathroom. And he's like, Oh, yes, we have had this conversation. In fact, we have a contract for you drawn up. You need one dick. I and it sounds like a crazy thing to say. But if a dick was there, he would have shut all this down.

You guys are fucking stupid is what he would have said early. And then they wouldn't have been making full subs. And there would have been drama. Like yeah, American TV is all Dix. Yeah. And this is what happens if there's no Dix and all dummies. And like, it's just kind of nice.

And like all of the cruelty is on you, the producers. Yeah. So I kind of embarrassing for them, but mainly it looks badly on you the producers. So I do vaguely remember at the time, because I you know this was the pure message board era. So I remember being on intermessage boards when this was out on a couple of TV ones. And this episode I specifically remember and this conversation being the point where every single person on those message boards when those people have to all be actors and the joke is on us. Yeah.

There is no way this conversation will genuinely happen. And now people in a message board should have seen this conversation or a variation of it like a lot. But I think that was the thing is you get this kind of suspicion of going, I think the guys, I think we're the joke here, the audience of the ones being pranked here because this is the kind of shit we say on a message board. Right. It's not what people say in real life. That is so funny.

Yeah, this is like a thread that goes down and infamy and becomes like an inside joke on your message. Like not the, not the astronaut thing again. Every time. So they're, they're having a Christmas party. As we've established, they took their holidays away from this. It's amazing. And Kerry tries to use mistletoe to kiss Val, who is their former, they say former KGB physical trainer, who she has wanted from day one. She described as like, spider man, God in the Terminator times a thousand, like just instantly. So she drags him there and tries to kiss him and he is having

None of it absolutely no you want no part of this. This is because foul has ethics and foul has decided that it is unethical to To basically kiss a girl Yeah, I think it's a wife. I think he said he's faithful in that. Well, that's why he didn't do it Even if not like I agree that there is something unethical when you're doing an experiment on somebody like, I can't know if this is real. Or maybe you only think you like me because I'm your only anchor left to reality.

Well, this is back to, I think you said in the last episode about how many laws were broken making this. We had a very big legal thing in the UK about undercover police officers dating women and that it should be illegal. And this is essentially what's happening on this show in this. There's some controversy around that. You think maybe maybe I would say they should. You should be allowed. You should be allowed. You're on the cover. That's not you. You got to prove you're not a cop by like having sex with my

wife while I watch. Jimmy, Jimmy, but I'm Jimmy Blaze. I'm not, I'm a me. This is different guy. But yeah, Kerry is a very sex positive girl. You can tell. Just she wants fouls. She drags them into the testimony of both and he's like, no, I don't. I still don't want to like, let's get play.

You're molesting me at this point. Charlie recruits him for a card trick. He again wants none of it. He doesn't want to play at all with any of these people. He's just trying to escape this party. And Charlie, just the card trick is he's just going to guess his card, but what's this? He's going to tell him the card ahead of time.

And Charlie, I guess things he independently invented this? This is how four-year-old would invent the world's first scar trick. Like, this is... You know, that's how that works. And he does it so conspiratorially too. He's like, polls and movers like, hey buddy, I'm gonna tell you the name of the card. And then there's this fucking tiniest little room where everyone can see and hear him. He's like, I already said three of clubs. Three of clubs, can you hear?

Three of clubs! Like, there's no way this wasn't overheard by at least four people. And yet Val says, Val agrees. And then the second Charlie turns around, he's like, okay, I gotta go. And he makes a right for the tour because he doesn't want to do it. And Charlie, Master of Improv says, Val, stop! Pick a card! And what is an extremely weird thing to do to somebody as they're trying to leave a party? Of course, it works. He gets his three of clubs and carry especially those fucking nuts. She thinks Belle has full on psychic blast powers now. He could knock down a wall with his mind. She already thought he was God's Spider-Man, the Terminator, times 10,000.

Now it's 100,000. Terminator times 10,000. Now it's a hundred thousand. It always professor X. It's single one of these people has seen that exact trick at every McDonald's birthday party they attended at school. Every single time and yet they still fell for it. It's so much more impressive when somebody you want to fuck does it. That's true.

It's weird how that works, how magic works like that. It's weird how. I'm horny works like that. It's weird how... I'm horny enough that I think most women are sorcerers. I always assume that the name of Shun Zotu abografe. Yeah, most women are sorcerers. All ladies have magic powers. Above a certain hotness, let's be clear. It's the name of my country song, most women or sorcerers.

They're, God, we're doing so much quiz time. I want to reiterate at this point, what they keep going on about, which is that that their exams are 80% true knowledge and 20% fake. And so they made up little fake things. Yet they make them go through all of the drills, right? They make them write papers on it. They make them take tests on it. They do fun little exercises in class to make sure like this fact won't slip out of your mind. And like this is how learning works. This is established structures of like how you teach anybody anything, but especially influential people. This is in your head forever. They did. Yeah.

They did like a six hours a day for several weeks to I think two straight weeks of of lies that are mixed in with truth in a way that they will never be able to understand. If you've done six hours a day of this and 20% of that six hours has been fake, you're not going to go back through all of that and say all of these relies. They do go back through and say like the funniest ones, the big lies, the monkey, they had a monkey named Minski. That was the first monkey in space and that's what Minsk is named after. They marked the big ones down. But if you really seeded lies

throughout this whole thing, which I think they did, you can't go back through and tell them. And now they have objectively false knowledge imprinted in their brains forever. That has to be a problem. I think it's, here's my thing though, is like, I talked to my mom sometimes, and this is like how her brain is built.

Like she's just been learning wrong things for like 40 or 50 years. And like she can't fix that. And I feel like they've in a way inaugulated these people against that. Like all the knowledge they accumulate that's gonna be bad until like science figures something up in 2040 where it's like,

oh my God, we were wrong about all of this. Like they'll be able to adjust to that quicker than say us who are so confident in how smart we are right now. So in a way, this might be used by educators in the future as a way to keep us from turning into our parents. I mean, counterpoint. This is his Scientology.

Counterpoint, this is a catch it. I just talked to myself into being a Scientologist, I guess. This is what, this is what, HALC News listeners. This is how, and like, not to get too real, but this is like, like, with your mom. This is what Fox News does. So like, there's a child molesting ring

in a basement of a pizza place that doesn't have a fucking basement, but you drill it and you come up with different ways to say it and you bring on people to say it different ways and over and over and over again And now it's a brain wrinkle and you can't get rid of but they don't stop after three weeks of Fox News and say hey We've been fucking with you. Yeah, maybe it is and if they did that I feel like it would fix our parents in a lot of ways in Indoptionation you can add to the crimes list. This is another actual explicit crime. They have committed. Yeah

I'm trying to be a glass half full guy. But yeah, what they're doing is people are terrible. And it's a proper. It's a brain propaganda vaccine that they've invented. Like, we're going to feed you the dead result of this virus into your brain so that you can fight real propaganda later, which might work. This is also the first point from which you start to see the tick up in flat earth, the comments on these YouTube videos. Yeah, that's gotta be, I do believe that's probably accidental on their part.

Like I don't think they were trying to foster that, but I do think they have beyond just making these people's lives worth, made the culture a slightly worse place. Yeah, it's just one of the many extra ways to show us it has genuine the arm the real world. It's mainly focused on the three people, but it also it heard a lot of people, but I heard a lot of people accidentally.

So we finally after the other Christmas party, we do the reveal of who goes to space. There are only four spaces on the shuttle. And one goes to an actor. The actor is Charlie. Your other actual contestants going to space are Paul, which yeah, good choice. Paul's got to go up there. You got to have Paul up there with sticking his head out the window to feel breeze. You carry, which is the cruelest possible picks.

And she actually wanted to be an astronaut. Like she said, that before she realized what the show was. So good job getting the cruelty right at least one time. And Billy is the last, which I guess this being 2005, we're lucky. They picked one woman at all and the rest are all. No, you see, there's a payoff to that. There's a payoff to that. That's true.

To me, age is to realize what the payoff is. And that is, I mean, it's not really a spoiler. It's that bit towards the end where you can tell that, Kerry, now that she's moved on from Val, would quite like a bit of Billy. Uh-huh. Yeah, but you could have had two women in there. I guess you would have to lose Paul.

You'd have to lose Paul. And you can't lose Paul. Yeah, that's true. All right, well, it was 2005. You know what, we're lucky they didn't jettison her out into the sea and that plane, like, that's fine. So these are the ones who were going to space and man, the ones that did believe it.

Cause I think everybody's of two minds at this point. I think even the people that have publicly come out and said, oh, well, this is fake. I still like, when it doesn't stop, I guess it must be real because there's some part of them that wants it to be. A lot of them take it really hard, like, it's their dream crush, which I guess it would be. And that sucks. So one of the girls goes in Christ.

Like, actually, it's one of the girls goes in cries. Like, actually, yes, one of the girls goes in cries. They towards the end, once after the reveal and Charlie's out there, Charlie, the actor says, they ask, you know, which parts were hardest? And he was like, yeah, when we chose who gets to go, I believe he says the words that was personally very revolting to me. That they did that. I put in my notes that this was actually a pretty good team because you have the dumbest idiot, the horneest girl, the gigglyest imposter, and the closest thing they have to a dick, and I feel like that's your best reality show of the choices

in the handle. So I was actually like like like I was in favor of their choices. Yeah, that's the fairest estimate I've said. I think you're right. They have they have selected a balanced super team. Yeah, I think. And they're clearly trying to get people to fucking space and like I think carries your best bet for that. And I think Billy is your best bet for that, and the fact that those two hooked up instantly is, yeah, they were right. Yeah, I feel like Astrid, I feel like Astrid would have brought the emotional drama that you want from a reality show.

And it was definitely like a choice between Ryan and Paul for the dopey of Stope. And I do think they chose correctly there. Paul's great. Paul's one of the better dopes. Yeah, to come out of the 2000s. Ryan's the guy with big hair, right? Yeah. Yeah, I think he's maybe too positive. I think Paul has that sort of, I don't know, put upon like sad sack dumbness to him that he just brings enough negative energy to it. Well, you kind of don't mind if something shitty happens to Paul. Whereas like, Dave, I'd be like,

God, you guys pranked that great guy. Everyone's favorite summer camp buddy. But he'd take it better. He'd take it better. Because there are some truly heartbreaking moments with Paul later. They will get into. Yeah. So now that we're ready for the launch, we've got our crew. It's time for the launch, which I think, I mean, I'm really trying to sum up how this goes when you have this entire false reality of a dream, I guess these people didn't know they had,

but now that they have it, they truly want it. And you're spending millions and millions of dollars to deny them that dream. It's a complicated sort of moment to celebrate, but I think Johnny Vaughn nails it best when he said, MC Hammer had his hammer time. Chico sadly had his Chico time. Well, it's Shuttle time. Great quote. Just another example of the high quality acting and reading skills that Johnny Vaughn brings to this show. That's what you want from a

host. Powerful moments. Here's where I noticed that he was like a legit idiot and a dick when because they had the set design or the sound engineer. And he's like a real card. He's like, my neighbors think I'm crazy. He's throwing cat food at his van to make it sound like meteors hitting a space shuttle to the microphones inside of it. And like his neighbors know he's a sound engineer. You know, they don't think he's crazy, whatever.

But he's like this kind of cackling, giggling nerd who just has a lot of enthusiasm for his zany sound antics and in one of the sound clips that they use for the The package of him. He's like kind of has a cackle and the Johnny Vaughn Makes fun of this cackle like seven different times to like fucking dunk on this guy and then he meets him He walks right up to him and he goes like, he's making fun of a thing this guy recorded like months ago.

This guy maybe doesn't even know this is his laugh that he's doing. He's just, what the fuck is this guy doing right in my face? And then he does it again. He makes walks right up to this man. It makes fun of him like his sixth grade bully. And like, I don't know, that's not too each. You don't stop hosting a show to go, you know, I fucking hate this guy's vibe.

I do it all the time, I guess, but like, this guy's supposed to be a broadcast trained professional. But he is, that's the problem is this, this Johnny Wann shot to Stardom by being a genuine knee nice and very good and very good kind of instinct presenter. So they've somehow broken Johnny. Great. I love that maybe he was a nice person before this and then like because this takes place over at least the span of I think they said five weeks at one point and then that's not counting all the

prep that I'm sure he has to be a part of. So when you realize this is your life or let's say I think they said five weeks at one point. And then that's not counting all the prep that I'm sure he has to be a part of. So when you realize this is your life, or let's say generously three months at about 2.5 months, yeah, I think that's the point where you're like, fuck it, I'm the bad guy. Yeah. I just don't want to burn this place down.

I thought it was so weirdly mean to the point where the guy didn't even know that he was getting dumped on. He's like, why are you screaming at me? I don't get it. And then he did. He's like, oh, that's, but it doesn't run out.

When they have the chat, yeah, when they have the chat about like him, about who's gets in space first with the, is the one with the longest legs. And then they do a stupid visual gag with Johnny Vaughn with extended legs. And then you just mocks him for it. And you just like, who's right? It, He must be on the phone to his age and every night going there must be a way you can

get me out of it switch. There must be a way. I've trapped on a on a pretend military base been vetted through like several obscure companies. They're gonna kill me. They're just gonna kill me after this. And it's I can't do it, man. I've got a small tank. They're prepared to use it. You're gonna be buried alive with this show, like a, like a servant to an Egyptian emperor. So,

so maybe I can find a space in my heart to feel bad for Johnny Vaughn, but it will not be this day. I'll work on that as a person. Every time I come close to feeling sorry for him, he says something stupid that makes me go, no, actually, I really don't feel sorry for him. Yeah, yeah, that's it. Yeah, fuck this guy. We go through, as Sean said, with this sound engineer as part of the package, that they

do going through the entire construction of everything that goes on here. And really, what you take away from this is the scale and the amount of money that they truly did spend. The sound engineer that Sean mentioned is part of this package that they go through about how much they've truly put into their space shuttle simulator. And I got to give them this one thing. Like they put a fortune into this. They hired, they bought the set from Apollo 13, which killed a bit cheap. They put it on hydraulics, like a low rider, so that it will bounce and move constantly. They put,

in 2005, mind you, like, basically what amounts to an IMAX projection screen of the Earth in front of this entire thing, built it all inside of an airplane hanger. Yeah, it costs a fortune and just got it. There had to have been several moments in the making of this where they're like, they're going through line budgets and just saying, all right, well, this is $200,000 to the guy to install hydraulics on the stage from Apollo 13. What's the point of this again? To full three, three idiots, to full three college student idiots for a minute.

We could send to space for this amount of money. Yes. And they're like, okay, and you want a non-union actor to hang out for the date and pretend to be Capcom. No, fuck you. We cannot afford $280. Get the sound guy to do it. So it's just it's so much, it's so much like to go through their amount of resources. Like it had to occur to everybody at any point during this show. Like this fucking sucks. And it gets all sunk costs. So like this was why they were never ever ever

going to let them guess it. Because they'd let them guess it up to this point. All of this money would have been for nothing. And they do. They guess exactly what it is. And if you would just drop the walls when somebody guessed it, the show would have been over. Like episode three.

And it would have been for it. It would have been. But you had to pay for all of this shit up front. So yeah, they're never going to let it go. They're just, I love that when they guess it, when somebody guesses it and it doesn't happen, that's exactly the moment where it turns into imprisonment. Like that's right.

If you need a line between prank and imprisonment, when they guess the prank and you're like, no, it's not over, that's in prison. That's kidnap. Everything from episode four onwards is just pure gaslight. I guess the show kind of summed this up around this time when, like, they're walking through this fake hanger that they built to get to the

the simulated ship. And Billy says, how important do you feel now? Like, yeah, it's accidentally a pretty good burn because look at the lengths they went through to get this prank to work. It's just like whether you're fake or not, you are very important. So much is writing on you as a person. So I don't know. It's more embarrassing for the pranksters than the prank, but that's the show. That's the whole show.

It's just, God, it sounds good for one minute on paper. And somebody just committed all the way to every single little piece of reality that happens in the making of the show is like, well, this sucks. So, someone who hooked out that focus group room immediately bought the simulator. And they're like, yes, that was one of our ideas. And he's like, oh, no, I thought we were doing that one. I've already spent four million on the simulator. I found a Russian. Can you believe it? I found one real Russian. The rest are going to have to do accents, but I found one good enough. He's so he's

there jumping Jack instructor. He's going to teach him how to make hotdog casserole. Absolutely. It's fucking it's great. It's great. He's promised not to fuck them. He says he won't do it. He says there are two things in his contract. He will not fuck on camera or do close-up magic. He does need to break, he does need to break at least one fat act today. He wants to toss him around. He likes to juggle. You know, I mentioned hot dog casserole. They actually did that in the show. They had them salute of Russian poem, which was just him reading the rest of your hot dog casserole. And this seems like, if you've got these people to have like this reverent pride in what they were doing, that's hilarious. But no, they're all like giggling like I guess we'll sit through this dumb poem. Like,

that's none of these pranks worked in any capacity. Yeah, the vibe that they give, we'll get to the ones later. I don't want to jump too far ahead, but that's exactly what happens over and over again. Every time they have a little prank, all the people are just giggling like, well, this is stupid. Yeah. Okay. What are we doing? So they put on a fake press conference now that they've selected who's going into space. And they ask them all a bunch of questions. The best one, they ask a lot of offensively comedic questions. Like somebody stands up and says,

have you slept with a hooker and any of the East senders cast? Wow. The ampere do, bro. Yeah, you say that is genuine in the kind of questions you'd get from the sun newspaper. So maybe I just don't know your culture, but that sucks. That is basically British tabloid quit. It is unbelievably and scary. The real the questions

they ask them. That's funny. I do like that they ask Carrie. They say, are any of you planning to have sex and space and Carrie laughs and says being the only girl definitely, you know, definitely, yeah, Carrie. Yeah, definitely. Second, the second you found a horizontal space. Care. I don't mean it that way. I'm just saying this girl had a fucking mission and it was not to see the stars. I'm going to fucking space. So if somebody asks you, are you going to fucking space? Like, no, yeah.

Yeah. So it's somebody somebody finally stands up and asks the big question. What do you plan on saying when you're the first British tourist in space? I do have that clip. mankind. What do you plan to say? Hmm. One small step for reality TV. When I need for a Bristol boy, that was gonna be mine. Good on you, Paul. That's a good break. Like that's a barricade. Yeah. The thing that's a good break like that's embarrassing. Yeah The thing that gets me about that clip is right at the very start is Paul that you can hear this little laugh of Yeah, I got this

And then he said that I already debated this Yep, got a plan you thought you'd catch me out But at least he said something they asked Charlie and Billy and Charlie whose job it is to improv. Exactly. This says, well, like no, no ideas. Good job. Good job, everybody. Early far south. So now we're getting into we're prepping for the launch, right? They have a problem in that they can't just have windows everywhere for them to look out because of this. They need a very specific angle for them to look at this projection. They need to control the conditions in which they look at the projection.

So it's only out through the front where the pilots are, but they can't have them ruin the angle. So what they come up with is a net like you would use in a station wagon for an unruly dog. They just slap a net up between the pilots and the rest of the cast members. The physicality of these actors is so funny because anytime someone gets close to the net, they each, both of them, both the pilot actors, put their hands up like a mom coming to a red light too quickly. Like they just like physically can't resist like putting up their palms to stop they're from getting any closer.

And it cracked me up every time they did it because of all the things they did to suddenly give away the prank. Like that maybe none was worse than that. Like go, do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do because they can't touch anybody. Make it a bit of a... Perspects with some holes in it, like you're getting a taxi cap. Like, just make it look slightly better than a net you bought from a freaking garden center. Just the, the shot that they have from the pilot's point of view, looking through this net at them in this tiny white room,

it just couldn't be more clear that you've been present to these people. Like, you were in, you were in a man cage, you're in a human zoo, you're the exhibit. This is, there are problems with this that we're highlighting. Second, I heard about the show, I was like, how are they gonna fake the lift off? Like, that's impossible to pull off. And I argue what they didn't,

because when they built, they built these 40 X seats, right? Like a fancy movie theater seat, to simulate a rocket to space with like blasted speakers like boom we're rockets and then the dumb one says feels like we have loved the ground. He says, the hole says it's like we haven't even left the ground. I guess that's how smooth it is. And then they keep talking about like how that felt like nothing, that felt like nothing at all. Yeah, but then they fade it played to the American actor who's playing one of the astronauts who just just goes, oh, thanks.

Yeah, no, I really worked hard on that. Yeah, yeah, I must be the best. Yeah, let's just be the best. I'm freaking maverick. I am good job. Like, if you've watched other space launches, like with Buzz Aldrin and Neil Armstrong, and it seems really shaky, it's because those guys are chumps.

They suck. Don't know how to fly to the moon at all. Stupid tics. Oh, what the fuck they're doing. When I do it, smooth as water, baby. Ah. I like it because it's so dull. It's just people sitting in a box and that's what they're feeling. So they're just kind of like looking at their feet while they're just blasting this triumphant, pumping music for the show. Like, like, we're supposed to believe like they're

entering the final frontier, but like, they don supposed to believe like they're entering the final frontier, but like, they don't. We can see on their faces, this is boring. And then the amp is Charlie, like, looks right in a camera and threatens the blackmail to show if they don't send his agent money. And I'm like, God, that's like, almost a joke, but like, do it. Fracture fucking, like, then something would happen. Everyone just wants their iPhone And the speakers break. Well, just for someone doesn't turn on the speakers So they have to do the launch twice. They have to pretend the first time is just them taxiing because the speakers don't come But no one in the sound booth realises that but the actors do so the sound booth guys is continuing to go

Yeah, launching five four three and the actors are going no no no we've got a power failure here we need to go and do stuff. It's like revealed at that point you could argue be again it's one of the many points you can go you could you could end here you could make it here and it would be less bad. You could just stop we don't have to do ten full episodes of this. They also the actors don't get to see anything while they take off. I don't know if they just didn't want to render what it looks like leaving Earth. But there's also a moth inside the studio. So they couldn't show the Earth after they got to space until they got the moth out of the fucking studio. So okay. So they're allowed to look out the front

windows at this one very specific angle. and they're just about to do it. Like, okay, here's the moment, we reveal space and they can't do it. Because there's a moth, and if the moth lands like flies in front of the projector, it will look like there's a continent-sized moth flying through space. That's the prank.

Mothra is attending Earth only, we can stop it. That's a fucking show. Yeah, again, would be a better ending than they actually came up with. Right. If you would, if that's how this reveal wasn't, they were like, what the fuck was that? Then just drop all the walls and be like,

yeah, that's it. Go out on a high note, that's it. And you don't have to imprison them for five days. It's a tiny shaking box. Fully traumatized them. And once you do the earth reveal, and they've had their big moment, just show new clip bombs going off everywhere haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha Yeah, that was a joke and your mum said, I could do it to you. Then keep them for five days. I just love how every little thing

that they couldn't think of has just ruined everything. Like yeah. Yeah, she's gonna get in front of the projector. Yeah, but she could look at that. Like just, yeah, guys, be careful when you're opening doors, please. If you own a projector and you've yelled at a kid to be like, no, can you just, you can't walk in front of it.

Walk behind it, like you should have known this. You should have known any part of this. So, we are now in space. They have to deal with space. They, I would argue this is the point, especially after that takeoff, where it is pretty firm like, okay, something's up. This is not right, yeah.

Where they truly, this does not feel like space. And they have to still go through it. They give them a tour of the two rooms they're allowed in, which are eight by eight. So it's six people in two prison cells for five days and they're gonna shake the whole time, and they're very loud. Carrie says, it didn't feel like we were going up at all.

It feels like we're in a car, which is basically what they're in on their little hydraulics that came from a Greyhound bus. Paula has another good point. I'm starting to come around on Paula's maybe like so stupid, he's kind of brilliant because he says his point is,

I didn't get that sense of like, whoop, in your stomach, like when you're on a roller coaster and like you're lifted really quickly and they do not have an answer for that. He also says like, you know, like when you're on an airplane and the air tastes a bit funny, the air here tastes really normal. And it's like, yeah, no, he's worked out that

the air tastes normal. And it doesn't taste like actually it's been recycled through filters like 50 times. He's actually secretly brilliant just noticing almost specifically this scenario, like calling a god. I love that the dumbest guy there is just nailing your ass to the floor day after day. Every day day like fucking Paul He's too smart to like think they've done this like only a giant idiot would have done this prank And he's not that stupid. They almost word for words say that yeah, yeah him and Billy like full on guests What's like word for word guess what's happening? They're kind of joking around

But they're like god be pretty funny if like we're just in a shaking box until then they say exactly this three hours into the journey and out of nowhere Poland Billy once again inadvertently stumble upon the truth wouldn't be a shitter if someone was we asked an ear we made your coffee from either side we were going to push it up yeah we were like still still as long as it's good and the whole country You wanna call thing? You wanna call thing? You wanna call thing? You wanna call thing? You wanna call thing?

You wanna call thing? You wanna call thing? You wanna call thing? You wanna call thing? You wanna call thing? You wanna call thing? You wanna call thing? You wanna call thing?

You wanna call thing? You wanna call thing? You wanna call thing? You wanna call thing? You wanna call thing? You wanna call thing? You wanna call thing? You wanna call thing?

You wanna call thing? You wanna call thing? You wanna call thing? You wanna call thing? You wanna call thing? You wanna call thing? You wanna call thing? You wanna call thing? What what else is happening though? They guess it down to the projector They guess they look out those windows and go well, that's a project Yeah, it was expensive movie theater seat. This is also foreshadowing for they can start hearing the crew So they've they've guessed both of those things yeah, I would have be say three hours into the journey Three hours into this five day space. And they're like, what if it wouldn't be funny

if we could hear people outside, which we can? And that was a projector, which it is. Do you want to stop? Do I have to stay here for five days? Well, the thing is they haven't even seen that out the windows yet. And this is it. They predict the actual scenario.

But again, yeah, even Billy's like, no one is going to create such an incredible simulation that they would put three or four people like us through. So that's why they believe it. That's the only thing that keeps this prank going because they guess every part of it. And then what they say at the end of every guess is, but what kind of asshole would do that? Yeah, that's the safety net. In their MREs, they did a spotted dick dick gag, which I thought was super keen joke, you hack bucks.

I skipped that because I guess they would have to do that if you were in like, I don't know, I'm assuming the writers were 80 years old for the show. And they also did a like a pledge to the God of space, which is like a 12 minutes set up to a Uranus punchline. So like real funny stuff, like they knew that this might be a little slow, but they had a couple of good jokes to squeeze in. But I also, this is they are fundamentally hitting the problem, which is you've confined all of these people into two very small rooms. And once once you get out the moment they can have soon, which is revealing space to them. Exactly. You've got nothing else you can do. Well, carry everything around. She is all business. I was kidding early when I called her the horneiest,

but like as soon as there was an opportunity, as soon as it's bedtime, when she got paired up with Billy and she just went to work, she's like, hey, I think it'd be all the hearst when we do it. Like she knows it's a done deal. And to his credit, he's like, no, no, it's totally soundproof, completely soundproof. Like he could laugh, he knows. He's like, the only answer there is,

oh yeah, these walls are soundproof. Like we're fine. I don't think he knew before that moment. I don't think he was just rolling with it because she was just like a foregone conclusion. Yeah, we're gonna do it. And he's well, of course. Of course we are.

Probably, but. Yes, I was aware of this. I think that's because deep down he sees himself as Paul's inferior. So actually, he just assumes that if anyone's going to get laid in space, it's definitely not going to be Charlie. Several times. Several times in his testimonials, he seems really worried about Paul outshining him, and that's so fucking funny to me.

Very funny. The least remarkable man that's ever lived. It's ever gone to space. What I would describe as a yokel, a British yokel with like, just might as well have a bit of straw in his chewing on. I love him. I don't wanna hurt his feelings if I was listening.

He's my favorite out of the show. I completely came around on him. And like in his stupid way, he's obviously smarter than favorite out of the show. I completely came around on him. And like in his stupid way, he's obviously smarter than everybody that made this show. He's the exact right kind of dumb, the kind of dumb that's only fun and, you know, he's not going to join a cult. He's not going to like, you know, argue with people on Twitter. Just doesn't get how shit works. A little bit of a bell in don't you? Yeah. That's how he's going to do. So he's going to he's going to swap your drinks around in the in the pub, but that is his level of prank. So so we get to the moment where they do the reveal they open the shutters and they they see the curve of the earth. And then

we cut to everybody, truly struggling to describe why this is important. I'll just, I'll go with Paul Billy, is like, it's like Columbus looking at the ocean, and everybody sees a line, put the line curves, like it does, it curves, but you could see it curve. And a Paul is a little more elegant, I'm gonna play his clip.

It's so hard to explain what I've just seen. I've just seen the whole earth. I do just seen. I've just seen the whole earth. I do my best, I've just seen the whole earth and the way I can describe it is, you know when you're on a plane and you can see straight lines in front of you, either way, I've just seen it curve. And it was just, it was just the best thing I've ever seen.

And I'm just thrilled and I'm happy. I'm so proud that I'm lucky I'm here. So I'm very dumb thing about an earnest moment and then gets really sweet about it. And then you show it. Knowing this will make you look only like shit. Yeah, their monsters, that him and Billy get it, definitely get it.

You hear Billy whisper quietly in the background when they're doing it. If monsters. They're monsters. They're monsters. They're monsters. They're monsters. They're monsters. They're monsters. They're monsters. They're monsters. They're monsters. They're monsters.

They're monsters. They're monsters. They're monsters. They're monsters. They're monsters. They're monsters. They're monsters. They're monsters.

They're monsters. They're monsters. They're monsters. They're monsters. They're monsters. They're monsters. They're monsters. They're monsters. They're monsters. in small in comparison. We are all one. Yeah, so it's like they did it to these people in a simulator in Ipswich, which must be like crime number, whatever the hell were up to at this point.

Yeah, they really took the sense of wonder from these people. Like they'll never, the next time they see something this profound, they'll, they won't trust it. These people can never enjoy Christmas, learning, or holidays ever again in their lives. Or monkeys. They'll they won't trust it. These people can never enjoy Christmas Holidays every again in their lives or monkeys

In a way all they really did because Carrying and happy they can't miss happily in a new one. This is lost here I dare they take that from anyone They they tricked two people in the thing and they fucked in space and really did nothing else Just for a few days these people thought they fucked in space and really did nothing else. Just for a few days these people thought they fucked in space. And then it's a simulator in it's switch. No one should ever have sex in it's switch. Like that would be pretty cool to tell somebody like yeah, it's sex in space.

It's not cool at all to tell somebody that sex in a simulator in it's switch. I would still tell them. I think that's an interesting story. And I was in space on national television. It's not going on your LinkedIn skills list. It's not. So it's time to reveal the truth to the cadets who didn't make it to space. And one of the cast members who reveals it even at this point says, well, you all know it. Fortunately, we know for a meal. The first thing Sarah Jane says is that wasn't an actual tank. That tank was like if someone dressed up like a powered wheelchair for Halloween.

And she's absolutely right. It was a so propelled gun. In her way, it's exactly right. I'll tell you what that tank is. Uh, at the family fun center, they have a little ride where you can pay five dollars to get in a go cart with armor on it and shoot tennis balls at your friends. That's what that was. It's exactly what that was. Uh, they further go, she, the presenter goes on to tell him like, well, some of your education wasn't true. And immediately Astrid says, like a the dog, the one thing that was true. That's one thing that was 100% true.

That's actually true. And then they have to go, no, no, that tragedy was real. Setting up a trauma about the dog again. That's the one thing she really wanted to not be true. You're like, no, no, that dog did die of heatstroke in space. All of them. Just relive that.

And they ask, they ask like, okay, who do you think the actors are? And everybody's like, Rainy, Steve, obviously, maybe Charlie just had it. He's deadly. Had all of it down. The only surprise, the only thing that surprised about is that Steve wasn't acting about how horrific all of his injuries and life was Yeah, I think you got the guy with the detachable toenail. That was a good move. We would never want to suspect it They're like yeah the diarrhea. Oh no the diarrhea was really what's wrong with that guy Yeah He's not doing great.

Well, I noticed he was the only person that wasn't the final thing when I had everything together again. So I don't even think he survived this far into the series. Yeah, he died from this. Val made him do 40 push-ups in a day and he died. I didn't watch the final credits, but I don't know if it has a bit right yet, it says in Memorial, Steve. Yeah, it comes after immemorium like the dog and then right underneath Steve.

Steve spelled out swallow. So she the resider reveals the prize that they're all that now they get to go to Russia for real and do a zero gravity flight. And everybody just goes, yeah, whoo, like it's the most down, like why would they want to do this again? And then she's like, and you get 5,000 pounds each. And then the celebration is a hundred times them. The flight, nobody's into fucking that. Why would you think they'd be into that after you made this a lie? It's, it's an insane decision. Which to be fair is probably about two months wages for most of them. Yeah, it's not a tremendous amount of money

What Sarah Jane to the reveal Sarah Jane has my favorite reaction she says I cried so much that it wasn't me up there And now I'm just so happy that they don't get to go to space What a monster she's pure vengeance at that point. She's like, yeah, what you did to me was awful. What you're doing to them is even worse and I'm so happy about that. I'm so happy about it. That's not a one time thing where you say it

and you're like, oh, I shouldn't have said that. She reiterates it several times. Like I genuinely, I'm very happy they are suffering instead of winning because I thought they won, and it wasn't me, and that just pissed me off. If I'm not going to get to go to space, the entire world should burn. So Johnny Vaughn asked them if they had any suspicions, and they're like, oh no, no suspicions at all. And then he, as part of the production company, shows them a super clip of all the times they

actually did have suspicions and called it out. Completely correct. It's so goddamn stupid. Like just never trying to play along. Yeah. It's all just so wrong. They gave you an out and you're like, no, no. Here are all the times that you had to write.

Specifically, I'm going to play Louise's because she guesses it down to the production company. Is it real? Because you can't see anything about that other than the little space. I know it's not everywhere. It's all it is a fake. Is it a set? You see, you see. Have you actually got closest to the truth. You knew that the production company

that makes this zepatron made comedy shows. And twice you said, actually, it could be a hoax. What stopped you from sort of taking that final step and actually really calling someone's bluffing and going, this is fake, what kind of made you? I trust people. If someone tells me something, I trust that. And why should I not believe what you're saying to me?

Why should I think that everybody's not real? Why should I? And I just want to be real. Which was designed not to make you feel like that. And it is not to be. I wanted to be going to space. It was amazing. Given that opportunity, we're amazing.

And I wanted it to be real. She just destroyed it. Never has a presenter really wanted to walk back a question he has asked on the live TV more than Johnny Vaughan does in that moment. Yeah, we met that. We did that on purpose. I trust people.

You did a bad thing to a good person. Yeah, like the only reason she reiterates explains right there, the only reason I didn't, I don't know, leap out of window at that point was I was like, well, I guess I would have to trust that nobody would fucking do this to me. Then he has to look around the eye and be like, yeah, we designed it that way. And they know. That's a problem. They took it from her.

Down to the production company. She's like, sees a production company and is like, oh, I know these people. They make hoax shows. And they're like, sees a production company. He's like, oh, I know these people. They make hoax shows. And they're like, how did you guess it? Fucking idiots. Like, you did fake calls of fiscations. You went in and filed all the English off a sewage pipe and you didn't think to mask your production company.

God dammit. So many. Another thing happens where Ryan, at this point, while the show was airing, Ryan realizes, no, no, they realize that Ryan is in a commercial, like a blood drive commercial. And that tips everybody off to be like, okay, none of this is real. All of these people are actors. We're not believing any of this. So that was like the last thing they had to show. They could legit to me at this point have pivoted and just paid them even more money to pretend that it's exactly what they've been doing.

And again, it would have been a better ending. That would have been way better if they had all been like, okay, well, really it was on you. There's something, it's not great, but it's better than this. I just love that every disaster that can possibly happen, truly did happen. That was a part that I think we maybe skipped over where they're in space and the captain has to kill time when something has gone terribly wrong. And he just starts vanthing about his like, peepie and his childhood. He sings like Yankee Doodle,

Yankee Doodle dandy for real. Like, like, it's almost like a caricature of someone trying to burn time. I think the problem is you get to the point where Charlie and the two astronaut actors are so bored that all they can do is what actors do, which is just start improving. And like, you just, you can't stop that from happening. But I've got to make it like, if you're in a kitchen at a party, that is going to happen after two after two beers. It's unavoidable and they haven't calculated for that. There's one more thing of my notes from that from that car crash bit

with the where they're revealing it to the people who didn't get through, which is just like, I think it's Sarah again, it just keeps looking so annoyed all the way through it. Like she knows that all of her mates are home, we're going to be laughing at her. Yeah.

Yeah. Kerry says something later. After they do the final reveal of Kerry, Kerry says like, when I first realized that we were going to space, I was like, this is going to be a great revenge on my ex. Like, I can do it just fine. And now it's his, he's having revenge on me. He's just going to laugh at me. Like, yeah, he just made like the one thing that you were taking out of this.

Now you're the joke. You're the joke again, Gary. So we for some reason, for some insane reason, every disaster is possibly happened. Your whole show is derailed by a fucking moth. You, but you decide we can escalate this. And they have Charlie pretend he has parasitic worms coming out of his ass, which is just such a good bit. They get him a little stink bomb container and a plastic worm, and he runs behind, I guess what's their bathroom, which is just a little curtain in the corner. And nobody leaves the room as he emergency shits, which there's an extra bit of horror

to that. Because by this point, they've been in that room for three days, which means every time someone has had a shit in that toilet, no one has left the room. Yeah. Remember way back at the beginning, Billy was like, well, space works differently on you. Like I'm just not going to poop at all. Like you don't digest like the same because you don't have gravity

helping you out. Like I'm just not going to go at all. So how that one workout, Billy, you shit't have gravity helping you out like I'm just not gonna go at all so how that one workout Billy you shit constantly didn't you I thought you're gonna play a clip of him shit or something I didn't take the clips of all the super cut of all 800 times Billy shit in front of it really is about the same level of prank if they're just like, look, here's videos of all of you peeing, and it's just they play a 40 minute clip of all them peeing over the course of five days.

Yeah, basically. That's the level of content that we are. I think by this point though, they realize that they really do know that they don't have a good landing for this. You know, it is just trauma now after the overview effect moments and everything else. So I think they're deliberately just keeping ramping up because they've got to get to a point where these three people will question it. But the problem is they've gassed it them so much they're never going to question it.

I mean, they question it all the time, but they can't commit because they've been abducted every time they guess it. And it continues to go on. They're like, well, they wouldn't just kidnap me. Yes, they would. And did. Did I tell you guys in the first show that I looked up some of these actors and I found one whose headshots said multiple times

that she was on this show, but she's actually smart. Did I? No. No. It's on her headshot. She's like, okay, I was on space cadets, but I promise I'm smart and that like she re-worded that twice on her head shut. I thought that was very funny. Can I guess who it is? Was it Astrid? It was, it was her. And that she was really

mad on the show because she thinks that herself is a very smart person and this is a, it feels like a dumb thing to fall for, but I want to assure her like no one would see this as a prank for all the reasons we mentioned. That means she came out of this and went, you know what, I know that was an absolute shit show, but maybe just maybe I can spin this into a career as an actress. Yeah, she gave it a shot. But somebody kept, it had to have happened when there's a warning on something, when there's a warning not to eat the silica packets because somebody ate the silica packet. So she showed up and they were like, you're too fucking stupid for our show,

and she had to put on her resume. I'm actually not. Ah. You might know me as the idiot from TV. I probably shouldn't have brought that up. I shouldn't have brought that up. It's just another little hint of how their lives were at least partially ruined by this show

long term where everybody knows that you're you're a gullible you've been psychologically selected as an idiot and a mark Astrid when it says on your CV here that you say you've been to space Is that it switch? Yes Yes. Yeah, I guess. Yeah, I guess. So we're still escalating our antics. There's a bit in here about a funeral for a celebrity dog in Russia that I don't understand any part of like I don't get why it was supposed to be funny. I don't get why the execution is funny. I think there's a bit of a thing you've got here which is a British national psyche thing which is ha ha ha

anyone uh basically anyone in Europe or anything like that they're all just fricking weird so you'd have TV shows that would be like ah ha ha everyone's a bit weird abroad um so I think it was trying to lean into that I've kind of go like well of course the Russians would have some weird TV thing about dog funerals. Sure. It's like, yeah, I suppose it kind of makes sense, but it's still not funny. Yeah, it's supposed to be. Borat, like Borat kind of nailed it of like how people will just accept the dumbness of

and weirdness of foreigners. And this is such a, like a diet version of that. To be like, yeah. What this does, and the one thing this does accomplish is it makes Kerry fully believe none of this is real. Because she guesses the worst possible punch line. She's like, well, if this is all joke, they're just gonna drop the dog's ashes. Exactly.

And then he drops the dog's ashes, and she's like, instead of laughing, she just turns to, the billion says, it's a joke. It's all a joke. This is a setup. Set up. Closer instantly.

Literally says this is all a setup. It's a good joke. If it's not a joke, I'm really sorry, but I am sure it's a joke. Yeah. And they still don't end at that point. They still stretch it out for a few more hours. You're like, guys, just have homes to go to.

Sure. He's a woman who was a teenager like a year ago. She works as a college registrar. Her hobbies include hand stuff and her untrained instincts put her a full step ahead of the casting crew with unlimited budget. Specifically comedy instincts. She knew that would be such a hack punchline that

it would ruin everything. That can't be what happens. If that happens, I don't believe any of this and it happens. She was like, yep, and she was right. Even Paul's catching on and he chases the ball every single time. He tends to throw it. And it's so heartbreaking, like watching him go into denial about it and then come back out and like be reassured by Kerry. I did, of course, take that clip. I kind of feel like it's not real. Some things weird, everything is like fake. But it's not. We are in space. Just even think I'm in space looks so... We are at space.

So much injured. Yeah. We better be over the worst gag ever. I did a load of push-ups for nothing. Yeah. If I've done a load of push-ups and I got in the space, I'll fucking get mad. Well, it'll be funny as far as I'm from.

I got the man was going there with a... Spice pool and all the key keys. We are going to simulate that. Now, this one gets much better. Yep, so you can't hear Kerry's part really well when he says, Kerry, we are in space, aren't we? She says, I don't know. I think we're in a bloody simulator

that flicks up. And it's a hundred percent correct. And after she looks at Paul's face and his heart breaking, she says, no, of course we are. Of course we're in space. And he goes, yeah, yeah, we are in space. And as he's just, his heart is breaking over this. What she says at the end is they wouldn't go to all that trouble. It's like having a beloved pet put down in front of you. It's just like, and again, you didn't have to show this. It is so humiliating to the producers that this happened instantly

to every single person you tried to prank. I want to show that anyone would have told you wouldn't work for a pay off that anyone would tell you isn't going to pay off for a budget that anyone to tell you is too much money. They fail several more times. We'll believe that they keep failing, but they do fail several more times. As now that Paul has oiled the hamster wheel in his head, it's going. And he realizes like, he talks to Charlie, set some down and it's like, think about it.

Tourists pay a million dollars to go to space and they get this. And he's like looking around windowless prison. And he's like, would they be happy about? No, they want to see, they want to sit in a big window, they want to look at the walls like, why would you pay a million dollars for this? And then he points over the wall and he's like, I just drew on that. Well, they let me draw on that. He's drawn, you know, it's a dick. He's drawn the spacecraft. He thinks he's the first person to draw a dick in space. And I suspect he's genuinely

proud of that and good for you. But then he finally goes to, they wouldn't have been doing that to the space shuttle. He says all of this feels like a carly. But then he finally goes to they wouldn't have be do that to the space shuttle. Yeah. He says all of this feels like a caravan. Because he's right again, they got the hydraulics off a greyhound bus. He's handling them down to the hydraulics. Every part of their ass has been exposed. Billy and Carrie are listening to the walls and are saying, is that the pipes or can you hear people laughing? And then Carrie says, I think I just heard a dog park. Jesus Christ. No, no, I can't say no behind the scenes. Someone's like, you got the dog on, get the dog off set.

I'm telling you that the show would be good if that was the prank. If like suddenly the main screen lit up and there's a star monster there, and he's like, you're meant to be my sector. And you're like, okay, now with this fucker. I am Liker, I did not die. I did.

Yes, yes. Joining in the Colossus. But, and then they still don't let them out. Like now you escalated it and you just, all the actors commit, no matter how much you're like, it's fake. I don't believe this, just keep, let them lose their mind and captivity as they realize they've been kidnapped. No, no, no. They can't do malcomate that with my nuclear

ideas. Spaced like her, then in revenge destroys earth. And you only end the show when they run out of food on the shuttle. Yes. You have the actors put in black eyes and then they just start barking at the contestants. They have to one by one like jettison the actors out of the airlock. And then you hear their distance barking in space. That's why you hear in the wall. Yes, I'm such a funny thing. It's still barking out there. They could fucking figure it out. They would just go along with it. Just in a haunted house.

They're having fun. Which you could do with this whole series have been filmed over the course of about five days, not 20. Because it wouldn't be psychological torture at that point. You could do it. There is a bit of no lurking in this. It's just not this one. Yeah.

I've been in escape rooms far more interesting than this. It's just this is something to do. It wasn't a blank cell. Exactly. You had to sit for five days and then you're like, okay, well, here's the key. Oh, yeah, I know. All right. So I think I think, I think, Gareth has nailed exactly the producers panic at this point where they realized there's

no way they don't come across looking like shithead. So they are now just letting the failures cascade and they show them all a super clip of all the times once again that they have guessed every single part of this reveal. This takes 100% of the punch out of the reveal if you were to make this a good TV show. But I guess in the immediate like following minutes, it would probably help to prevent, let's say, Paul from just raging through the set like a loose champ just like tearing everything apart. Because you're letting him down very gently over a period of about a half hour, which sucks to watch. But I get it. I get you didn't want him to fight Jive on right there. Also, as an editing tip, again, you don't have to show us the full half hour

of you listening them down. Yeah, you didn't have to. They were so desperate for footage that why would you include all of this? And they get such, once they do the reveal, they get such wonderful reactions as Kerry saying, I'm angry, I want to go home now, I'm so pissed off. And Paul saying, I want to be an astronaut. Well, at least I want some money.

But is it, like, I think it's, I think it's Kerry who says it, but like it's like, Johnny Vaughn's like, do you feel your lives are richer for it? And she just says like, well, I know how it feels to be gutted and to be rejected. And you're just like, well, I know how it feels to be gutted and to be rejected. But don't worry, you can buy your mid-size sedan now, except you can't, because everyone's going to steal your money. And Johnny, again, like, sits there in brags to them over and over again about how much prep they did, about how they filed the English off of that pipe, and how they went and bought actual Russian litter. Great. Like they're going to be impressed by all of this and they're not.

They're absolutely not. He once again asked them to guess the actors and they once again say, uh, yeah, it was rainy. It was Charlie. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Nobody probably did. You know, that's it. There's a bit where they get the family for those three on.

And like there's, there's a moment in it where Paul's mom, I think, says, says like, Oh, well, he'll be fine with this because he likes to play tricks on people too. And Johnny jumps on instant and he's like, how mean is his tricks? And you're like, Johnny, you're, you're, no, you're just giving the, no, Johnny, you're not meant to say that out loud. Is there anything can we make him out to be the bad guy? It's a little late. Please.

There was a part where Paul figured it out again because they keep making them weigh themselves as if they're doing science in space. And Paul's like, why the fuck did they give us a weight scale that doesn't work in space? Because their dumb thing is shaking so much that they can't balance it. And I just thought that was really funny

that every bit of his dumbness like broke the illusion. Paul is just so simple of pure, beautiful innocence. Yes, that is what he is. It's something to me that's so intriguing about a stupid detective that's actually really good in his job. Like I would watch a show about Paul figuring out mysteries as a dope.

Yeah, I would love to watch that. I would love to watch Idiot Sherlock Holmes. He wouldn't even know he was a detective. Like that's how they do the show is like they wouldn't tell him he was a detective. That's the man who knew too little. That's a very underrated Bill Murray movie. That's true. We just independently invented.

Who Paul is Britain's Bill Murray. I guess I'll just go watch that again. That's great. Let's all go watch that. I do love the, as you as Garith explained, the overview effect when they they went back to reflect on the moment when they saw the earth and like it was so moving to them, they wrote down their feelings.

And Johnny points out that Billy said he couldn't imagine any war going on down there. And he said like Buzz Aldrich word for word said the same thing when he saw the earth from the moon. Like you've arrived at this same moment independently. Only yours was fake. And he asked them, okay, knowing the truth, are you all still glad you've gone to space? And Billy says, yeah, 25 grand, yeah, sure. Sure. That's, yeah, it's a reaction.

You get the real reaction. He gets, and, and, and, and, and Johnny, oh, Johnny, he tries to sell them. Well, let me, let me warn you, first of all, there's a little bit that happens after this moment. So if you wanna talk about anything in the show that happens after the moment where Johnny tries to sell them on how this was all actually a good thing for them, I would like to go out on that.

So is there anything you wanna cover that we have it so far? No, I'm gonna skip some, I have thousands of words to notes, but it's just not worth it. There was a whole bunch of stuff about UFOs that they could have done and they didn't, but yeah, exactly. You never believe it that was also their reflections on this show. I have so many notes and not of it was worth it. I think one thing I want to make clear is that the show is constantly bragging about like all the details they put in all the We've made mention this but around this time one of them said like it took 48 computers to generate the image of the earth

And I'm just like what are you fucking talking about like you're not projecting that like you You've you've you've dazed you changed 48 computers together to to time generate an entire planet. There's no fucking way to doing that. It's so, it's so weird. And further, they do not give a shit when he tells them that. Nobody gives a shit about any part of this reveal. He's not getting anything he wants. They also get all the other contestants to quietly go into the cabin to see the view themselves.

And at least half of those other contestants in it's, and he believe it's real, including Astrid, who I don't know if you heard it, I got it in my notes here, you can hear her quietly saying the background, oh my God, this feels so real, you can hear the wind. And I'm like, there's no wind in space, Astrid.

Space wind. Space wind. The thing I said about space wind, I'm actually really smart. So, all right, so Johnny has the fucking nerve. You know we was prompted by the producers to try to convince them it was all a good thing.

I do have this clip, which I think is the dumbest and most desperate thing I've ever heard a TV host say. You'll know some things we never know. They say kind of reality is in the mind anyway. Somebody who says it's only on television. But you know what? You've actually gone through things that we'll never experience here.

Because you actually believed you're going to explode. It's so what you like about it's an illusion it's fake. But at the time, you've known what it's like to believe you're looking at the earth from a space shuttle. I'll never have that. And anyone who ever normally goes and was simulator knowing they're going to simulator never has that. But you've actually had that experience. You've actually looked at the earth and felt those things. And, and, and, thanks for a good time anyway.

Let me just cut you off, you fucking asshole. Well, thanks for, Paul says. Well, thanks for a good time anyway. Like, I, get it, you're, you're British. Does that mean fuck you? Yeah, that's essentially pool, pool, very heavily hinting that Johnny is not making out parking lot here. Yeah, go fuck yourself is what that means. I, I'd some things are just cross-cultural, got that instantly. He tries to convince them because you believe to lie. That's actually a very special thing that we've done for you as a favor and like feel bad for me, the man who tricked you because I won't have that. I won't have the special moment of being lied to. You understand of course.

It's like when I told my wife, yes, of course I have two other families that I've started, but like the one I started with you was special. You thought it was real. You thought I was a man named Hank Aaron after the baseball player. The only reason they get away with this entire show is because Labrador's can't hire lawyers. I think the older reasons they all tried to go hire lawyers and they were all those scam lawyers. He's a lot of lawyers. Different wigs. Yes, lawyers contacted them and took all of their money after this show. I was the first thing they did.

Hi, I'm a lawyer. My fee happens to be exactly 25,000 pounds. I specialize in specs law! Ja! Die Craft ist nicht mehr uner! Schick die in die Hundezung! Die arene stunden! Kupchon! Du kitzst in die Waffe! I'm not a hunder! I'm not a hunder!

Frankfurt! I'm not a hunder! I'm not a hunder! Frankfurt! I'm not a hunder! I'm not a hunder! Frankfurt! I'm not a hunder fricking! I'm going to hooting, hooting, hooting, hooting, hooting, hooting, hooting, hooting, hooting, hooting, hooting, hooting, hooting, hooting, hooting, hooting, hooting, hooting, hooting, hooting, hooting, hooting, hooting, hooting, hooting, hooting, hooting, hooting, hooting, hooting, hooting, hooting, hooting, hooting, hooting, hooting, hooting, hooting, hooting, hooting, hooting, hooting, hooting, hooting, hooting, hooting, hooting, hooting, hooting, hooting, hooting, hooting, hooting, hooting, hooting, hooting, hooting, hooting, hooting, hooting, hooting, hooting, hooting, hooting,oting, hooting, hooting, hooting, hooting, hooting, hooting, hooting, hooting, hooting, hooting, hooting, hooting, hooting, hooting, hooting, hooting, hooting, hooting, hooting, hooting, hooting, hooting, hooting, hooting, hooting, hooting, hooting, hooting, hooting, hooting, hooting, hooting, hooting, hooting, hooting, hooting, hooting, hooting, hooting, hooting, hooting, hooting, hooting, hooting, hooting, hooting, hooting, hooting, hooting, hooting, hooting, hooting, hooting, hooting, hooting, hooting, hooting, hooting, hooting, hooting, hooting, hooting, hooting, hooting, hooting, hooting, hooting, hooting, hooting, hooting, hooting, hooting, hooting, hooting, hooting, hooting,oting, hooting, ho with them back on the street. This time in business casual as a private mercenary force.

Together they are Hachtog and Supri. Starring Aaron Crosston, Adrian H, Aiden Moat, Alpha scientist Javo, on Andy, Armando Nava, with special guest star Badger as Bon, Boni Sam Sapsin, Benjamin Sairannon, Bim Tulzer, Brendan Garlock, Burrito, Cerelle, Chase, Clementine Danger, featuring Craig LeBoyne and Quavis as the Rappin Quakers, Dan B, David Schult. Dean Costello. Devin the Rogue Supreme.

The role of naked president is played by Dresden. Dusty's Rad title. Eric Rion is the Master Ninja. Every Zick. Fancy Shark. Garrett is the Master of Ninjas. Jellahoe. Greg Cunningham, Hambo, Haraka is Ninja Master 9000, Harvey Penn Gweeney, Ha, Fart, Ha, Jaber Al-Aiden, James Boyd as corrupt politician, James Boyd Jeff Oresky Jim Salter

John Dean John McCammon John Minkoff Joseph Sears As himself Josh S. Joshua Graves Justin B. As Type Boyd Urchin number 6

Ken Paisley K.M. Kyle Campbell As Ertren Master 9000, Lisa, M. Jahishapel, featuring the musical talents of MC Mark Toronto Mac Mahoney. Mac Riley, Max Barore, Michael Lair, with special guest star Mickey Loman-As, the knife boy, Mike Styles, Mojoo The role of Mr. Bob Gray will be played tonight by

Mr. T in unoffensive wig. Indeed, Neil Bailey is Corpulent Louisiana Conman number 17. Neil Schaefer, Neku 104, Nick Relston, Ozzie Olin, Patrick Herbst, Rachel, Rianan is Corpulent, Louisiana Conman, Master 9000, Sarkovsky, Sean Chase, Spotty Reception, super-naught, featuring 10-10, number-dress Arangatan, 10-H, Thomas Kabatos, Timilehi, Tommy G.

Toasty God plays Judge Rageem McBlaster, Velo plays Dr. Blast McRageem, Vuster plays Professor Stevenson, Whalen Russell, Yannis Ionitis, with special guest star, Brian Saler-Edds, the Street Pope. I'm afraid it's your world against mine, Mr. T and who are they gonna believe some convicted felon or the man who blesses the rats. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha