The Dogg Zzone by 1900HOTDOG - Dogg Zzone 9000 - Episode 16, Hot Dog Nights: Megan Wants A Murderer, Part 2

Episode Date: March 31, 2021

Seanbaby and Brockway detain Lydia Bugg and enlist her in the hunt for a reality show murderer. Somebody on the reality TV show, Megan Wants a Millionaire, was actually a murderer! Brockway doesn't know who it is! Join him on the hunt for JUSTICE.

One nine hundred hot dog. One nine hundred hot dog. Our podcast slams with maximum hype. Say hot dog podcast word. Yeah. When you taste that nitrate power, you're in the dog zone for an hour. Come on.

You know the number. One nine hundred. One nine hundred hot dog. One nine zero zero. One nine hundred hot dog. One nine hundred. One nine hundred hot dog. One nine zero zero zero.

Yeah. Nine thousand. Welcome to the dog zone. Nine thousand. The official podcast for one nine hundred hot dog. I am TV Sean baby from the internet and with me as always is my partner on one nine hundred hot dog.

Robert Brockway. Hey. We just passed the stimulus thing. You heard about this? You heard about this? You guys heard about this? I have no follow up. Hey.

Great job Congress. Something that 76% of the people want. I don't know. I didn't look at the numbers. Good. It sounds like a nice thing. Our guest today is Dennis Miller. Yeah.

We got a little Lino, a little Miller. This deal has a higher approval rating than Kaja and Goo Goo at Miami Octoberfest. Babe. Just the same. So well. It's such a big one. Our guest today, one nine hundred hot dogs

own Lydia Bug. Welcome back, Lydia. Hey. Thanks for having me. I'm very excited for this episode. We're excited to have you. We, this is episode two of our Megan wants a millionaire saga.

And later in the show, we're going to watch an episode. You won't be there for that listeners. And then we'll come back and discuss it. The, the hook of this, and this is a real hook. We're not fucking around. Robert doesn't know who on this show is a murderer. And so he's actually watching it,

being careful not to Google anything. If you listen to the first episode, do not say anything in our discord. Don't email him or tweet at him. Even if I beg you to go. Even if I get this. Even if he begs you. And I will.

You're going to watch this. There are lives on the line people. I need your help. We're going to watch this as if it was 2009 and nobody knows anything about the murder. And he's going to try to figure out just from the show itself and the edits they chose to make, which of these men is a literal actual murderer.

And anyway, that's coming up first. I want to talk about like some of the things we get up to on the site and some of the projects we're working on. Lydia, why don't you get started? What are you, what are you working on these days? So what's an article you put up recently that you'd like to talk about? I've got one coming out or that has came out at this point

about the Kenner Terminator 2 toy line. Oh, that was sweet. Yeah. Where it was like Kenner got the right to make Terminator 2 was probably very excited because at the time, obviously that was like huge. But they were like, I don't want to watch Terminator 2 for whatever reason.

Right. And I don't think anybody else does either. Yeah. Probably no one's going to watch Terminator 2. They're just going to be really excited about like the concept. Right. And so they made these toys that were not based on the movie. Yeah.

I was really impressed with CyberGrip who was just kind of like, looked like a He-Man figure with like a tube going into his eye and then the same tube going down his throat. Like right down it. Like not, not, not feeding him a little bit. Just jammed. The implication of that is so horrifying. He has to watch the paste.

His, his paste get pumped in from his backpack down his throat and he watches all of it happen. Oh yeah. Yeah. Well, and the funny thing about that too is how Terminator, the big complaint about Terminators is that like, they're not conspicuous and you should make them conspicuous and they took that note inconspicuous.

They took that note for the second movie. So the villain is like, you know, not Arnold Schwarzenegger S. He's like this tiny little guy and Kenner was just like, what's fucking lame? So let's, let's make our own villain and let's make him nine feet tall and he has metal devil horns. And it's like, okay, but that kind of defeats the entire purpose.

I think it defeats Terminator 2. I think it's so much cooler than Terminator 2. He's like this sort of weird skinny minotaur, this robot minotaur. It's awesome as shit is what I think. It takes a little sting out of the scene where he first sees him and is like, you know, come with me and he's like, should I go with the nine foot tall devil robot bowl? Maybe. Yeah, no, he's wearing a policeman's uniform.

I think I'm going to go with him. He's just like dripped over one shoulder. Just like the tattered remains of a chef's uniform. Just metallic screeching instead of words. Yeah. You can kind of tell when I'm writing the article, I'm like waffling a little bit between like, this is pretty awesome. And like, yeah, but it's not at all Terminator 2.

Do I like it better or do I like it worse? And then I decided that I liked it worse when I came to the fact that they did not put in a Sarah Connor at all. It's just amazing. Yeah. Like the star of the movie. Of the franchise. Getting part of an iron for like a year and a half with Arnold Schwarzenegger.

It goes into that movie just jacked, just ripped to shreds. No, but the kid. Yeah. But Edward Furlong gets a lovingly rendered toy with no embellishment, with zero embellishment. Yeah. They gave him his little tiny 50 CC dirt bike. Which they call a motorcycle.

That bothered me too. They call it a motorcycle over and over again. And I'm like. Listen, the motorcycle's in your heart. It doesn't matter how big it is. Spiritually, he has a motorcycle, I guess. He has like a tricycle. They call it a jet ski, but whatever, you'll play with it.

Like they clearly didn't give a shit about the rules. They could have given him like angel wings or an M60. They could have given him anything. Zero embellishment. They gave him like his little tiny puberty mustache. Like an awkward direction in his jeans. Like, why are you doing this to him? Yeah, if you're going to add an entire character,

make the characters that you don't, that like you put in, that are lame, better at least, because they can't hold up to the other ones now. Right. Right. Who's going to win between that kid and Megator, the destructor of the future? I'm going to go with Megator.

Megator. Chromium. Every time. Chromium with a K was what they called that dude. Oh, right. Megator was the joke name. Damn, that's the one that stuck. Yeah, that was the joke name.

That was the one that stuck. It's better, right? It's much better. It should have been Megator. And they made it a choice that I did actually like how they had like 12 or 77. I get a lot of different terminators in different states of like getting fucked up.

So like one guy had like his chest burned off and one, the one T 1000 toys just burst into like parts. And I was like, see, this is cool. I would have liked to play with that toys a kid and have like a terminator and you swap them out real quick. Like, oh, I took a rocket in the chest. Like that's fun. But at the cost of Linda Hamilton is probably a bad move,

I think. Yeah. If you have every terminator, plus all of the ways that they can die and none of the hero. Right. None of the people who killed them. You're like, alright, somebody fucked up. Yeah.

The entire twine line is basically just terminators. It's like 16 terminators. There's two villains that don't exist. No Linda Hamilton. One John Connor. And this is no. No small movie. I think honestly every single person in America eventually

saw that movie and loved it. It's one of the greatest action movies of all time. And I don't know, like, I've probably seen it like 80 times, even though I didn't necessarily mean to see it like 80 times. Right. It was on all the time. I know it must have been huge because the way that I found out

about this was I was trying to research a cracked article ages ago about like weird sexualized toys for children. Because there's like a Lego masterminds commercial that encourages children to use the Lego masterminds to like spy on their sister in the shower. Wow. Holy shit. That sounds familiar.

Yeah. It's like it's it shows you making a little robot and it's got like a camera on top and then it's got like a little alarm and it opens the shower and takes a picture and ladies screams and then it says capture precious family moments. Oh. And I saw that. That's where the whole incest thing started.

That's how that incest porn got started. Definitely. Yeah. It's this commercial. It changed people. Changed children's minds about that, I guess. But like looking for stuff for that, I marathoned like, you know,

I've been thinking about, you know, like having people on the side from the first hell I mean you're marketing this to kids that aren't necessarily the like 13 to 14 year old range that is prime Terminator understanding range Yeah, well, I mean you're like well, yeah, technically even if you are 13 or 14 like you're not supposed to see it I know cuz I got carded at movie theaters until I was like 25

Those those toys are not for 13 14 year olds. Those are you know pretty firmly aimed at like seven or eight You're like, okay. Well now she's got to go back in time to stop the future war that kills her son But her son is actually from the future. Are you still with me seven-year-old? You're young John Connor your mother's the only person who ever killed a Terminator not included Then we have 17 versions of the robot she killed again not included Got a car with teeth. It's badass Holy shit that car has got this rocket It's this convertible with teeth and a rocket that takes up at least 50% of it this huge

Rock you can't even have a passenger in that car because the rocket launcher is taking up that whole side You've got the best passenger a rocket launcher Well, it's a good thing. You can't have a passenger cuz you don't have a Sarah Connor. So you don't This is the vehicle's top speed I Can only go 12 miles an hour because we're constantly shooting rockets and the probability of going faster is impossible Because of the rockets pushing us backwards Yeah, it would be so hard to maneuver because it's also a very wide car and that's like the Terminator where they do all the motorcycle chases

Yeah, it would not survive that Yeah, not at all just trying to go through that when they drive through the cement and then jump down into like the the drainage wells Yeah, it would get ripped apart and then like the 40 rockets that you haven't shot yet would go off Fucking John Connor would just be Well, I think you only had you could only really fire the one giant Rocket like how are you gonna reload you have to carry where you put the extra rockets at that car Yeah, you got a drive-up to your rocket get out put the rocket back in It's fun. Just love it. Just ridiculous. I

Did really enjoy that article. Thank you. Yeah, I enjoyed writing and I think I made you a pox co-ad for that one where I took that lawyer that's on all the the buses in LA That says accident days and I think I did something with that God It was like five in the morning when I finished that so I don't recall I'm sure it was hilarious. You did the Ted Cruz. You did a Ted Cruz. I don't know wait that was for Ninja That was a on your Ninja Turtles. Yes. I well, I love that one too. Every every other point cruise I Love Ted Cruz so much. He just he does that thing where he's wrong so many times in one sentence that like you just kind of

Give up like trying to like make a joke or correct it You know what I mean? It's just it's sort of annoying that he he's on the same plate as you But you made the point that Shredder just sort of shares policies with the American Republicans and I was like, that's true Shredder is just kind of an open sadistic asshole and I thought it would be funny to picture Ted Cruz running against Shredder in a in a runoff So I think his his take would be that he's you know That Shredder is too soft on the Turtles and that Ted Cruz would actually ban all pizza to rob them of the powers

There's a lot of context to get to this this punchline. So yeah Sorry, I really got off track, but I loved that It was one of those things where I'm reading like what after you've edited my work and you put in those ads and I saw that Ted Cruz one and I just like died. So I must remember that is being on the Kenner article But yeah, that's on the Ninja Turtles one, but it's great I mean, it seems deep and and layered and outlandish, but I bet any minute now he's gonna come out against pizza I mean, there's no way he would that's just a Ted Cruz move all over As soon as it falls on the wrong side of the culture war

Like there was a thing where he bought a hundred cans of soup. So maybe he'll just make everybody He's like, oh, all you need to survive a soup if anyone eats pizza. That's too much enjoyment from life only soup for everyone That was like right when he got married to his wife Like he went to the store and only thing he got was like a hundred cans of soup and like she fucking stayed married to him What's your she deserves all of this? Yeah, she loves him for that stand. This was so moral of you If I came up with a hundred cans of soup my fiance would be like I don't understand this prank And I'll get the fuck out of my house

I guess it's kind of funny Right like she would know that that's what I was going for but like she just wouldn't even like you heard how long it Took me to explain a fucking Ted Cruz pizza joke imagine me trying to explain a hundred cans of soup This is gonna be really funny eventually sweet up, sweet up put down the knife. You're gonna love this joke Dickie who's gonna eat all this soup fucking waste a hundred cans of Campbell soup. What is that a hundred and eight dollars fucking made out of money? Yeah, poor poor Ted Cruz's wife So Robert what are you working on these days? I Am working on

Article about a very disturbing anime, which is I feel like I say that all the time I mean, I guess that's my thing and I don't they're like a second type Yeah, fuck you anime people fuck you They're cute animes and I think that's why but I'm so obsessed with finding the truly disturbing ones that are not Intended as pornography I'm very careful about that line. So when I say This anime is about butthole-sucking turtle boys It's not

As pornography Liddy's out Liddy's like no, okay. Bye guys Yeah, it's meant to be like an art house anime about like connection and loss and then the the device that they want to use To communicate that is a bunch of butthole-sucking turtle boys And did you look up the creator of this and? Yeah, he's on Megan's law Yeah, they're actually the the creator of the other anime I wrote about Revolutionary Girl Utina Which was it was less disturbing. It was just very confusing and it had like the best music of All time is just like every song is Japanese evanescence

Talking about fucking the craziest shit talking about Pleasoceric era and like fossils and shit and all of all these you're like Why are these songs about dinosaurs because it's awesome is the only answer the Japanese handle mental health issues a lot differently Than we do I guess we sort of like throw them on the street Whereas in Japan they're apparently like give them a creative team and they're like go make a go make a cartoon show for children Right if you're insane in an interesting way, you get an anime. That's why there's so many anime There's just there's so many there's as many anime as there are People who have been touched inappropriately in Japan

When you say turtle boy, I Want to know what to picture is this like a teenage mutant ninja turtle situation or is it like a boy who likes turtles? No, no, it's a good question. It's a ninja turtle situation. They they are Let's really delve into the lore of this now that you please I would love to there there's a Japanese folk monster called a kappa and They I guess Just I don't know it very well. I know it from the context of this show because that's what this show is about So there are Japanese folk monster. It's kind of in charge of

Sucking people's souls out through their asshole, which I guess again just just context from this show I'm not trying to make any judgment on the nation, which I guess Japan believes your soul is in your asshole Or is that just the easiest way to get to it? Maybe no, it's pretty right there. They've shown I mean we we definitely delve into these assholes in detail It's right there. It's like right. It's just inside the ass. There's diagrams and stuff No, I mean you are taken You were taken directly inside the asshole in all of its glory. Oh several times over and over in fact the the boys start out as normal boys and

Are devoured by I guess like the the chief kappa who shits them out and then as after they are shot out They became kappa little turtle boys and they in turn must suck the buttholes of their enemies Jesus Christ, so it's not a good thing. I don't know why I thought it would be a good thing All right thing You made it sound like because of the grief and loss of like are they like sucking out their grief or no I mean their whole soul the kind of thing is like your desire is tied to your pain and like your shame about that desire is It's kind of what is keeping you from being yourself and like It's all connected to to the land of human desire and that the source of that desire kind of is the human soul and

Again, the best way to communicate that is with buttholes sucking turtle balls through the butthole right It's kind of it's actually kind of beautiful. I Feel it goes beyond Art criticism. I feel like I don't even want to criticize that as art. I just want to arrest the person I just I just want to put them inside something They can't escape and make sure the fewest number of people hear their ideas for their next show That's the way I look at it

I'm gonna make just an assumption that it's probably illegal to do this in most of the world Like I think you'd probably be under arrest for a lot of this or at least at least attained I don't know if they could convict you That's yeah, you know what's to decide really? You don't see a lot of a butthole sucking turtle boy cartoons come out of like Iraq. So the one thing Fundamental theology like brings us is is less as whole sucking turtle boys and I mean there's you got to take the good with the bad I suppose so move to Iraq is the The moral of the story this this fucking awful cartoon you brought me made me pro Iraq. That's how bad it is

Hey, I love the people of Iraq. How dare you just because you're uncomfortable With their long and story tradition of asshole sucking turtle boys, which aren't absolutely from Iraq, too Oh, they're there. They just aren't allowed to talk about them every culture in the world has an asshole sucking turtle boy It's a it's a universal constant. What's the American asshole sucking turtle boy? What's our ninja turtles? Those dudes eat ass, you know, they do they live in the sewer The coming out of the shell tour is I'm sorry. They live in an abandoned subway tunnel. That was wrong with me That's some real shit. I do want to talk about that cuz Liddy gets as a woman Liddy gets comments from people that are just full-on like mansplaining shit to her like

Someone told her to spell Vulcan on her Star Trek article and then at the end of the turtles article Someone's like they don't fucking live in the sewers. Yeah, of course. He's wrong Like I just goes without saying that like she fucking knows how to spell Vulcan and Yeah, no one had a spell Yeah, no one is a bigger Star Trek nerd than me and as soon as he was like that you spell Vulcan with a K I doubted myself and I googled it and that made me mad that I doubted myself That's how they get a token away from you for a minute. Yeah But yeah, so after your turtle article some dude comes in he's like they don't actually live in the sewer

They live in an abandoned subway tunnel and like They fucking say in their rap song about how you live in the sewer. It's like I don't know How they live in the sewer that's like a huge part of their deal Yeah, I'm just so lucky that as a man I don't have to deal with that. Yeah, I just want to say in your face ladies Yeah Your autonomy is so easy to take away. I don't have a point on that lady I think that just sucks and that's it's actually have to go through that. No, it's so rare that it happens though It happens to me much more when I'm riding other places. That's what's nice about riding for, you know, a small community like this

It's on patreon is I it's definitely not as bad as anywhere else. I love riding for you guys because of that So and we had those sweet Ted Cruz ads to your stuff and yeah, yeah Yeah, those are all benefits so many times. Well, that's what you get. You don't get health insurance Bunny ears won't give you that Well, buddy, it won't give you anything cuz they're done now, but yes They're enough Oh, are they they finally get it go under well, yeah more or less

They're like still kind of running older stuff on the Twitter and everything, but it's no new stuff going out No one bites dust. Yeah We're gonna be the the last comedy site on the entire internet soon. That's what it feels like sometimes. It's a lot of responsibility Yeah, I don't know why we're doing better day after day when everybody else are they all coming to us I think we're just taking everybody You're all welcome here People like I'd love to see a joke. No, like I guess I go on Twitter There's lots of free jokes there, but there's also a lot of sad people talking about really sad things and the and atrocity

It's like a joke atrocity atrocity atrocity atrocity joke about the atrocity. Oh, everybody's mad at that one Yeah, people talk about doom-scrolling, but it's like you're looking for the funny stuff Like how Twitter used to be and it's just like only they're about 50% of the time And I felt like that might go away with the you know the loss of Trump, but it's still it's still kind of there Yeah, I think we're in the habit now like we're also in the middle of a plague I think maybe maybe when people can go outside without dying again, right? And like the fun will come back sure and

Like what did I see today? There's a bunch of assholes in front of the Idaho Capitol having their kids like burn masks is a some sort of a protest against masks Strong Idaho energy. Yeah, like how you gonna not mention that you gotta mention that but like people won't even making jokes They're like this fucking sucks like they lived in Idaho for a while, right? I did. I got my art degree in Idaho I actually really like Moscow, Idaho, but um, oh, yeah college town Yeah, you take a walk out of that town. You're like, oh, holy shit these guys have Crosses ready to burn on their lawns. Yeah, I lived in like middle of the forest northern Idaho and Cordillane was nice, but this was you know an hour outside of Cordillane and

But Cordillane famously a Nazi March every year an annual Nazi March. Yeah famously an Nazi March there In the smaller in the smaller towns just straight up Klan rallies In Town I was like one of the first things I saw when I went into town visiting there was like Admittedly, it was only like four or five guys, but just driving around in a pickup truck with their hoods on and nobody was really like Oh my god, people are like, uh, yep. What is it four o'clock? This is a real story I've told this story before somewhere, but uh, I Was a freshman in college and I was downtown and a bunch of people were like

With clipboards like oh god damn it. What is this about? And they're like, we're gonna go protest the Nazi March in Cordillane And I was like, oh you guys are taking a real daring stand against Nazis Oh, and I remember thinking how like I really got those assholes, right? But then like here I am whatever 20 years later and and like that's kind of Some people aren't against Nazis like it's really There's a controversy there a lot of people on it It seemed like such a giant waste of time to me to be like why would you even bother to say out loud that you're against Nazis? And

Then it suddenly became essential. It was a suddenly a conversation. We are having I Could have stopped it if I'd just gone to that rally in Cordillane and right We know what moment you're going back in the time machine. Oh my god How great would that be to have a time machine go back and tell a Nazi to fuck off in 1995? Well, no, you'd jump back to yourself and be like, no, you have to go you have to tell them to fuck off I can't do it. It's too late. I think it turned out to be like 11 Nazis and like, you know 250 college students yelling at them which had to have been exactly what they wanted and the whole thing just You know was very annoying and frustrating

And that's kind of I guess sort of the theme of it now So and that ties into the thing that you're working on about Nazis Yes I've been working on a lot and juggling a lot of ideas But though the one that went up recently that I'm very excited to share with people is called the ecstasy of loving God and it's It's a book and crazy. It's the craziest fucking book and it was about this guy and his name is John Crowder And apparently he's been doing this the whole time and you just been below, you know under my radar and he wrote this book about like

You know when people like freak out like the snake handler people and they like They speak in tongues because the spirit of Jesus inside them like he took that and he fucking ran with it and mixed that with the sort of like cool guy teen pastor to Sort of mixing it. It's saying like you get the power of energy and he the power of Jesus and that makes you like drunk like you get fucking high on the power of Christ and It just became a story about that, but it was also very erotically charged and it felt like he Deliberately used The worst possible phrasing so he'll be like oh the sticky moist juice of Jesus

You know like there had to have been a fucking better way to put that and slide and down your throat and It took me so long to get through this book because every page was like that and I'm like I got it I got a scan this page. I got a clip this fucking quote You know eventually I got it down to whatever 15,000 words But it it was just exhausting because He never stopped at the crazies relentlessly crazy the whole time and he also mixed in with all those Like bullshit stories that Jesus people tell like my family and I were in a park in Florida And we met some Satan worshipers and then my daughter charged them to defeat them and foreskin battle

And I'm paraphrasing but there was talk of the daughter ripping off their foreskins. That's not me Yeah, if he had stopped her she would have come back with a bag of foreskins. Yes Because that's how I've taught my daughter That is the style of martial arts that we practice in this church And his one-year-old was like screaming at them and then what happened was he started Immediately getting drunk on Christ and I think that's exactly how he put it and he would he started speaking tongues at them So he this the story is he wants us to believe is Satan worshipers were in the park openly Worshiping Satan and he went up they love the Sun they like to get out

Yeah, don't they have like a church for that don't they have a yeah, they all do it in basements. That's offenses Yeah, and reductive Lydia, and I would expect better of you. I'm so sorry. Satan worships needs sunshine And so like the pool you can find Satan worshipers at the pool just into their floaties play Marco Polo in the shape of a pentagram Levitating over the water off again. You're so racist. What is your problem? This tiny one-year-old is charging at the Satan worshipers along with his nine-year-old and so he drunk one-year-old Yeah, he gets drunk on Christ and he starts going Oh

And it's so powerful that like they're just getting fucked up by it like they're getting knocked down and they're passing out they're immediately turning to Christ and this is his own words his own story and I guess a whole book of shit like that was just really exhausting to get through and It's hard to like find his tone like does he expect me to believe this is he trying to be like Like cool and outrageous for his idea of what a teen wants to hear and I don't know I absolutely is doing the felt like it's all talked about so you kids like smoking reefer, huh? Yeah, you know who's the original reefer? Jesus our Christ. It stood for reefer. You didn't know that. Yeah

You gave Jesus a middle name Yeah, it's reefer You didn't know that I for two seconds. I was like, what is Jesus's middle name? Is it Ryan or something? I Think it's a throbbing ejaculate from based on this book. I'm pretty sure it's throbbing a giant. It's the punishment Christ It's the Punisher Jesus the Punisher Christ comma Punisher And and like as a writer it's like making fun of the Christianity stuff. It's kind of easy like ha ha They're so silly. They believe this this thing. All right, but that's not Christianity

Yeah, I don't know. I don't know what you're so far beyond and I try not to just be completely blasphemous Like I know Somebody out there must still believe this crap and I don't want to be like, oh, hey You don't get to enjoy any of our jokes because you're a fucking idiot But I but this book was so sacrilegious already that just trying to explain what it was without any judgment It's like I I feel like people gave me the benefit of the doubt like he there. He's not making fun of our All right, whatever You're making fun of that guy specifically

Right, I feel like yes the Christians themselves are probably the most unhappy about the guy talking about taking Jesus's Come in his mouth and getting fucked up on it and fighting satan. They're like, yeah, could you just not talk about any of that? We love your enthusiasm. Just apologize and leave and put your pants on Not a big fan of us. They're fucking weird kids with you. They're fighting everybody They're ripping off everyone's foreskin It also had one of my favorite typos I've ever seen on the back of the book It said he's the John Crowder is the author of and then I don't know if they switched the font to wing dings or something

But it's just a fucking barrage of insane letters Matt, he's the author of math. He wrote math He was this guy this long derivative equation. He's like, yeah, he solved um You know pie to the 200th decimal. He this is the guy I love your other book like the most important thing for you to do as an author So that was um my favorite thing for the past couple weeks And mine I think everybody's favorite thing. That is a notable moment in insanity. That's a that's a high water mark where you can

Walk up on the beach and be like here. This is the craziest fucking thing. I've seen this here Yeah, it's always nice to be able to break a story like that too because a lot of times I'm like I'm writing about a thing people probably know about maybe they'll enjoy the jokes But like this is a thing Nobody's heard of and no one will fucking believe in it. You know, yeah, it is an exceptional moment and crazy Yeah, and it will haunt them and that's nice to know Yes, I love to haunt people that you've harmed to them somehow in a way that they can't process yet, but will someday So I think you know what I think it's time for

Murder murder most foul Let's fucking do it. Let's watch this Megan show. Yes Oh my god, that was amazing What a great show. What a tremendous show. Okay, we are back from watching Megan wants a millionaire episode two uh wooh, lady, um Yes, I'm hyped fantastic show fantastic riveting show I'm getting I'm getting into it's getting Shakespearean the manipulation. It's just becoming coming masterful

It's just a lot of low confidence guys being played until they they basically die from it It made me so nostalgic for my youth for the times that I spent watching h1 You grew up watching these shows, right? I did. Yeah, so the I was really into vh1 because when I was a kid my family My tv watching habits were really really locked down Until I was 14 and I don't know what happened, but it was like one day My mother looked into my future and saw that I was going to be a comedy writer And she was like we should just call this kid a mulligan and she

Completely gave up on parenting the the television watching for me. She just put it. I'm just I'm just tired I don't know what I did But she was so disparaged that she just stuck a tv in my room And all of a sudden like I hadn't been allowed to watch The Simpsons my entire childhood I remember like faking to my friends like I had watched The Simpsons and being like oh that Bart, right? So crazy. She's still skateboarding. I saw that on Yeah, but now like oh there's a tv in my room. I can watch whatever I want And so it was like I need to watch the filthiest shit that I can find that's like my automatic instinct

So I was watching tons of mtv and tons of vh1 and that was where I experienced like Seeing a person drunk for the first time and like seeing you know adults like want to have sex with each other Like that's where I learned a lot about relationships and I was like seeing a woman poop on the stairs for a son Yeah, I don't think there's anything more morally depraved than mega wants a millionaire like Uh, if you were to show hardcore pornography to a child, I think would be less damaging to them than than this Yeah, yeah, they would learn they would learn that maybe sex is a little disturbing, but they wouldn't learn to like Game the world and you that people are pawns to be used for money to destroy

As many lives as possible for like a very very short-term game Just like I feel if you showed this show to the amish and have been like This is what you're missing in the world. They would they would learn violence Yeah, they the amish probably purposely show this to their children like this is what the outside world is like Yeah, you're right. This sucks. You're this is why we're planning for the great riot This is what your training's for young hezekiah Practice with the sword But yes, like I was really into surreal life and I was really really into all the flavor of love spinoffs

I wasn't so much into the stuff that megan comes from which is the brett michaels rock of love Um, because if you're from the midwest and you're like roughly my age You've been hit on by a man that looks like brett michaels and you know that right or your mom has probably had sex with Looks like michaels himself. Hard quotes. The hard quotes looks like Yeah, so I was I knew brett michaels was was bad and I should not I should stay away from him flavor Flav was funny. So I got why women were into him because he had a good personality Yeah, he was a real genuine funny dude. And um, I think brett michaels was just like That dude needed to get laid like 15 times a day or I think his nuts would burst like that is the horniest man

He learned that too early Got inside him Yeah, and he came up in that like era of rock where like it was just sort of expected to to just bang 45 groupies a city and uh Yeah, and he never lost that energy. That was very much his. Yeah, and then he's he's trapped in a single city And so now he has to just bang 45 groupies all the time. That's his curse. He has to keep moving him in and out so um Liddy, why don't you run us through

Just the just what happened in this show if you can recall all the details you'll have us here for help, of course But like how do we should we maybe first do like a like a cast roll call of as many people as we can remember I know exactly like two guys names and the rest of them. I'm gonna call like yeah I think we could piece together like four guys if we all really try all right Well, we have al is still here. He was the uh, the lipless gentleman that threw wine in her eyeball last episode And my number one pick for america's hottest murderer. That's a good reminder Brockway does not know which of these men murdered someone and he's Still do you think you have a better idea provably murdered someone each of them?

It's definitely murdered someone but one of them got caught Yeah, one of them one of them didn't make it did did episode two help for you before we begin Do you think I've certainly changed? I've certainly changed my pick Uh, I'm gonna work. There's a there's like two or three and I'm I need to work through it as we go through But uh, I no longer think it's al Okay He just He had a long section where he outmaneuvered another dude here, but he did it in like the shyest way

Yeah, but I think I was wrong. He did not get the taste For blood that I thought he got in the first episode. So I'm gonna revise that one And uh, let's see what else there was the uh pro wrestler I think his name is mike still don't know his name. He got no screen time. Yeah, I love that he's a pro wrestler Uh, I wish he'd wrestle everybody else is doing their thing, you know Then uh, what are there's a Canadian guy got no screen time this episode. There's tom jane frankenstein no screen time There's that weird blonde creep that talks to her like she's a baby They let him talk to her like a baby for like two minutes

I shouldn't even say he's definitely he's on my murder list. Yeah that guy looks like He's into foot stuff, but like maybe he wants to take the foot home with them Yeah, he doesn't need the leg attached like I don't know who's the murderer either I can't remember and but I kind of got absorbed in the show and was more like Trying to decide who would actually be the best guy for megan because I genuinely love megan after watching that And I want her to be happy, but like uh, yeah the guy that talks to her like a baby would definitely be Definitely has murder vibes, right? It it's a two two. It's a two-tiered thing. It's about seeing who the best guy is for her and Whether or not he'll murder her from there. Yeah, right

Megan has that perfect sort of vh1 talent where she's a fucking piece of shit But like for us like so we can enjoy it and she knows the show she knows what's happening She knows why you're there and she's like i'm gonna i'm gonna give it to you like don't worry I know what you're here for and it's coming guys She has thrown away her dignity And self-respect just to entertain us and there's something about that that's almost altruistic even though like the Defining characteristic of the show is she just wants to take all the money she can from these poor assholes

While they're trying to have sex with her. Yes. He's lonely All right, we can't we can't forget garth garth the star of this episode named the juggalo juggalo michael keaton Stand by that one greasy douchebag garth He in this episode He performed a hearty joker. Yes. He performed a song for Megan. I guess let's let's go into the episode and we'll Talk about that one of the first challenges that she gave them was they had to just give her a present and so some of them

Bought her something The other thing is people there are kind of allowed to communicate with the outside world Which is a little unusual for these reality shows so they're they have a business center So these high rolling millionaires can like talk with their you know Agents and employees and all that and so they can call and help from the outside world to bring presents or whatever and um garth the the fedora douchebag Performed a song called sex mode that he claimed he'd been this is the creepiest part So I need to make sure you hit really hard. He claimed he'd been writing for Megan specifically

for three years Yes, been worked and hit the work that went into that it was you know, and it did not mention her name I can write I can write a full book I can write like a full book in a half and three years, but he worked on this one song I had like one verse. He wasn't even willing to call it entirely. Oh my god. Do you think they cut? How would you describe it like he they didn't what if it was really long? I think they cut 13 minutes of this song. I think there was like a long Purely instrumental intro with like just distant hollering like a pink floyd joint

I thought it was like some smooth talking at the start like oh girl. I'm gonna show you my sex mode I'm gonna shift it into sex mode overdrive I gotta transform into a sex monster and you're gonna watch it. You're gonna watch me change, baby And it it really was like so supremely awkward. It it was kind of like an acdc song but with like some hip-hop elements Well, and he was like doing the marky mark crotch grab the entire time just like while they rubbed his nipple Holy unqualified to do the marky mark It felt like he had choreography in his head and it just sort of turned into him molesting himself because because it was a lot of nervous energy like it was so

Cringing and awkward for everyone involved that like the other guys were like Oh, I can't even be in this room and yet imagine being on this show and having a sense of embarrassment like Well, you know, if you're owning that like they just discovered that they still had that right I'm saying they discovered you could see them like learn it again like I thought this part of me had died. What's happening? So there's the guy that he bullied last episode who's sort of the torpy guy that we all kind of he pinged our gate are a bit and joe was it joe That's thanks. That could be right, but he kind of reluctantly admitted that it was a good song. He's like, I don't like that song It's kind of sweet

I hate that guy and he's mean to me all the time, but it's such a good beat That was insane. You have to give it to him. You have to praise. It's kind of a death of the author thing like I don't like the artist But you can't deny that. Yes, you can't deny the I feel like a producer had to give him to like say that he liked the song We need someone to say that they like the song. Here's $200 go in front of the camera. Say you like the song I'll do it. I'll do it for megan. He has $10 million and he was willing to do it for $200 So the next guy I want to talk about is punisher He actually left the room for the punisher the punisher what they made they edited to

Punisher the punisher he left the room for what seemed like 20 minutes Like they were like punisher when the fuck he come back and he got into full get-up. He had like a whip He had to put on like Fetish leather gear and he had chaps And they edited by putting pictures of his face over his ass Brilliant, which was genius. That feels like an eddy move. Let's give that one to eddy if it's not true If he yeah, he didn't work on that show, but he he would have approved a hundred percent so

I made the comment that that was A kind of a tremendous stripping performance like he did a full on like he did like a jumping caterpillar Yeah, it was a really Yeah Really solid stuff and and I literally said the words like if I was here I'd know not to try to beat the this dude at this game And immediately immediately following him was a guy who's like he wasn't like fat or chubby He just wasn't very fit

Fully built like me. He was like you look normal until you take your shirt off and you're like, oh, you don't do anything Yeah, a dad bod. I guess is what you call it. Yeah He this dad bod dude just put on he's wearing boxer briefs and he puts like sushi onto his body So they can all eat sushi off of his nude body and the girls are fucking around with him And one of them puts a shrimp on his dick And this guy does not have the personality to avoid being called shrimp dick for the rest of his life like that's right That nickname is sticky for you We should also mention that they purposely showed a scene where he told one of the other guys in the house

Like this is what i'm gonna do for megan. This is my gift and the guy said Don't do that He's like right even though even though it's his job to like get that guy knocked out He's still like I I'm still a human being and I have to tell you do you have a plan B I think those were his words. Yeah, like they they tried to talk him out of it. He did it, but he actually won Uh, the other two people who won were al the the lipless weirdo who gave her eight. This is real eight thousand dollars of Plastic surgery gift certificates like and she loved it. Like we were all watching that dead silent Waiting to see and this could go real bad. We were all like

And she's like this bitch has still got her baby teeth and she's super pumped about the botox gift certificate Yeah, she's got some sort of scam in mind where she's going to like redeem it for crystals and like resell them or something She's a hustler her friends were into it too. In fact one of her friends said I got my boobs done at that place like they I guess this is a great place and uh They so eight thousand dollars bought him a date and rightfully so that seems very reasonable with three other guys bought him a third of a date And uh, the other guy was the the giant sort of they always play like italian music when he's on they say he's a fashion designer mook Yeah, he's just a full-on mook. He's got solid. There's always a wing He's got like a bobo face and cauliflower ears and yeah, he's yeah

He's a henchman in like the batman the animated series. Like he's a fashion designer exactly Wink So he called up a fashion designer and he brought like a dress for megan and that was a big hit He he gave her like he did not design right. She was a weird and it was a really basic little black dress It was just a one-shoulder strappy black dress and she was like, oh my god But it came it came with an extra thick bag so we could put her in it So he's one of your top choices Yeah, I don't know see I immediately thought

That you know the mafia guy every single time he said something they put mafia music on it and he does he does just Look like he's gonna murder the bat like like he hates the bat and is going to be told and sacrifice to the bat so Yeah, I got murder revives from him, but I get like Shoot a guy for the boss and throw him in the river kind of things and you have to keep in mind When you're tracking a reality show murderer as I am The circumstances of the murder are so important Right if he's not a he's not a chop your hands and feet off and pull out your teeth and put you in a suitcase

Yeah, like he looks like a good murderer like he would not get caught. Yeah, that's a that's a pervert murder He's a feed you to the pigs murderer No one's finding that body first a first time murderer seeking like the forbidden orgasm Like that's That's not a paid murderer kind of deal the killer you're on the hunt for is a watch too much tv killer is a I saw seven. I think I could do that murderer Right like I really identified with the wrong guy and Simon to the lambs

Right, so no, I he's not he was on my list and then I talked myself out of it so so Megan wins uh, these three guys win a date with Megan and they go skiing and I Don't know where you go when you live in LA to go skiing But they got there in a day and they went and Well before that was the credit card incident. That's right. Yeah, the gift Right, that was a lot of the drama of the episode was they they gave them a menu of gifts And you could buy her flowers for 60 dollars or a jacket for 269 dollars or a snowflake bracelet for whatever 500 bucks and

two of the guys agreed to split all three gifts and then Uh, the guido dude is like I'll get up my own present. I'll get out of my fucking thing I'm creative special special gift which turned out to be like some fucking Walgreens skiing gloves So it's just like just straight up gloves. I just bought you gloves. They're not cute. They're big and puffy Yeah, and you could tell she was like, oh, it's gloves Yeah, thanks. Okay. Thanks, man He had a guy you didn't even get he had a guy drive all the way up the mountain Yeah with a little bag to give her gloves that he got from a target

I thought something better was gonna be in the delivery fee was four times more than those gloves And then the other guy his card got declined when it was turn his time to like pay for half of these gifts and I imagine it was just Like his bank was like a production company and You know the valley is trying to run your card for the floozy alert went off They're like, oh, you're you're being gamed by a woman. Do you want us to put a hold on like? Oh, we know megan

Yeah, I don't know we've seen megan before Just come just come however you can and then call us back and say do you still want to do this? So They didn't and so the other guy paid for the whole thing and then there's like this drama where This one guy bought all the gifts and so he gave it to her But it was supposed to be from the other guy, but he didn't actually pay Or thank the guy and so the guy made comments like he didn't thank me He didn't say hang on to pay you back

So so the guy who paid for it took all the credit for it and this turned into a owl. Yeah, ow This is al who Brockway is his lead suspect Has no lips Or social skills not good on tv Bought a woman an eight thousand dollar gift certificate for botox in her 20s Well, and then just threw a miracle. She liked it, but that should have been a deal breaker Yeah, and then continued to just throw gifts at her like it the vibe is that he knows this is all that he has to offer her So he's like right here's everything I have

Like and just right and then he he outplayed that guy but kind of on accident like if that guy had just said Hey, thanks for covering me. He would have been like, oh, okay. I won't outplay you I'll I'll do the right thing right and so it it it was like it was a battle of two men with no confidence Who don't know how to apologize to each other? And then it came off Machiavellian and It kind of worked he like he got to tell Megan Well, he was supposed to say thank you, but he didn't so i'm just gonna tell you that his card was declined And of course she was like

Like his card. I knew the instant his card was declined Megan was like, okay. Well, that's one down And she was real mad at him for like not telling her like she's like when your cards declined You have to come straight to me and tell me Yeah, and so that we can get that authorization fixed Well, I felt like it was like she felt like she had to say that you know She couldn't just be like i'm not into poor guys But then also that's the entire premise of the show is that she's right not into poor right when the title of the show The title of the show declares

That's what the problem is, but she also has no context for that because in the previous show she Almost hooked up with the super old gross guy with the crank body Because he said i'm going to put you in my chainsaw cheerleaders for our film Oh donald i miss you so much so much and that dude we looked up rip. I assume rip There's no way to sell credit for him. His films had a budget of like 40 000 dollars So she was willing to be like i will have sex with that gross old man if he Gives me four of those 40 000 dollars next time he makes a movie Uh, so yeah, he told her it was chainsaw cheerleaders and she was like

Said it right out loud. I mean that makes it like megan the two things megan is after is money and fame So I think the professional wrestler has a good chance because we saw in the preview for her next week that he's like Maybe we could both be professional wrestlers I think she's like that and I think she would be into the idea of being like In a movie. I would think that guy would last longer like z-movie screen clean. Did he slap her in the face or like Why did he get kicked off? No, he was he was a human melted candle. He was just the most He was just the crank body Like if you've ever seen a supernatural movie where they have to represent a demon for gluttony

That's what he looks like but he didn't have the social skills your picture He sort of hissed when he talked and sort of he's sort of like there's a line I do He would only talk on an inhale I mean, I should have known crank body is such a descriptive term. I should have known right then He's a crank body. That was you robert that came up the crank body, right? No, that was eddie I can't I want to take it from him so bad, but I can't do it. Congratulations A man of great wit and uh crank identification and professional Yeah, I know when you say that it puts an immediate picture so

I do want to talk about what I think might be my favorite drama And I know it's lily's favorite drama of the episode which was garth and so after he sang sex mode, which he was very proud of He Confronted her in a room for not picking him on the date. Yeah, she was not into it at all Certain he was like, I'm certain I'm gonna get the date and they like they knew they closed up on his face When she said the third person and it wasn't him and they got that where he was like literally so shocked The first time it's ever occurred to him that he might not be as great as he thinks he is And he was just you saw it go through it. No

No, she's wrong She's the bitch and so sex bomb or whatever for this woman. How could she sex mode? Yeah, I spent two years. I had one idea It took me two years. I went to a cabin in the woods and spent two years doing nothing But riding sex mode Swore I would not emerge until it was inspiration with my melodies Incorporating the sounds of the winds and the birds And then yes, I didn't have my backing track and I had to just kind of

Awkwardly rap sing at her while I grabbed my crotch, but the brilliance was there Yeah, she had to have seen it the passion So his confidence was shaken. So what he decided to do was Leave the show so he comes down and it's like he changes out of his regular clothes into some pajamas So he looks like shit and he comes down You don't get the good ed hardy for this the good the ed hardy was his was his parrot on display You don't get the peacock colors anymore. He took off his fedora. No fedora for you Yes, he looks so good

He gives her the little credit card, which is like the key to staying on the show And he's like Your cards declined and Megan's like mine has declined and Megan does not like the shift of power She's like, I will fucking write this balance right away. She's entertained. She's the look on her face when he hands her the card She's like, this is gonna be some good Oh, the sweet the sweet little man thinks he's doing a thing Oh, it's his first time doing it. She storms up to his room now and basically

Transparently says like fuck you. You're lucky to be here Uh, you need to stay and I'm making you stay and doesn't say it too different from that like that. She's not hiding this Yeah, we're being coy No, she like dominates him. She comes up there and she basically steps on his neck and is like you're gonna stay And he loves it He's like, uh, if you could just aim that at my crotch, we would be in business This is what I like and he even I like to be punished for for the stupidity And and and so his

Whippering pathetic response to this was oh, she's like me in a dress. That's how I would have handled it But like we already know that's the opposite of true. Oh, yeah Nothing could be further from the truth What's what's funny is because I think earlier in the episode we were talking about his like just complete uneranged confidence And this moment sort of demonstrated that that shit was fragile as fuck like it's the second He didn't get picked on this date. He's like if you don't like one thing that he does it's all gone What if everything he's just gonna quit and he's gonna run home? What if this had isn't cool? And honestly, I I was like, why does Megan want him to stay not thinking that she would be

so cruel as to convince him to stay And then yeah, yeah, he did not see he did not see any of this coming He's like no that must be he thought he was gonna do one step ahead of me But now I'm equal right none neither of us are taking any more steps Oh, this is gonna get me like he tried to make her say in that room He was she was like you're gonna stay and he said till the end like oh I'm gonna make her promise me that I'll stay till the end and if I was making out I've been like, yeah Sure, you're gonna stay till the end

you know like She could not have been any more uh Transparent with like out played and she kept saying on every level. She kept saying to him. You're lucky to be here And his response would be sort of like no, you're lucky to have me It was just so sad never worked never even close to came come to working and Of course at the end she grabs his credit card with these big dramatic scissors And it looks like she's gonna be like, okay, we we've had her a little fight But you're gonna stay just fucking cuts it in half

She's like bye Yeah, she even did the little bitchy bite. Oh You could see you could see like two thoughts rubbing against each other in his head and he's like no don't understand Give time to process. Yeah. No But no you have to go now that was his exit interview was him like god it all happened so fast Okay, somebody somebody explained it to me one more time I was like, yes, this is why I liked vh1 as a kid Megan is doing this show for us and she's like winking at the camera and she's cutting the card and she's like

I'm in charge You're like, yes, it's just fantastic the domination. She showed over this this poor guy it's It's like like if you're going on a reality show Now he lives in the trash for someone the conceit is that they are a good enough You know person to one as a partner they that 14 people want them and you have to compete for them and this guy was like not all of a sudden just breaking that rule like I'm better than this reality tv show competition

And Megan being forged in the fires of reality tv show competitions was not having that and I loved it You know what I think, you know what I've come to realize He thought he was the spin-off character. He thought he was gonna get the spin off He did so sure he did think he had a bigger personality than it did I don't know if I ever saw him again. It might he might have gone on. I love money or something But as far as I know, that's it. If you're cut two episodes in I don't think they're bringing you back Regardless of the circumstances two episodes is not enough There are some people that his whole personality was just Ed Hardy

Yeah, which was enough it was enough back in the day, but not not for vh1 There was another moment. I liked where um The the dude that we all think is If not gay like not a very sexual person and she was even like hey, buddy We're I think I like you as a friend, but it's time to go And he's he's like, I think I could show you I could step up my game And she's like, okay, let me see and this motherfucker goes in Vertical nose to vertical nose

mouth wide open All the way open Sucks on the bottom. You are the wider your mouth should be open going in for a kiss It reminded me of like remember the time if you see remember the time with michael jackson and iman and They they go in for that kiss and you're just like oh fuck michael jackson's never kissed an adult before It was like that but mouth open it reminded me of that viral video a long time ago of the two virgins That had never kissed until their wedding day and then they kiss on their wedding day

And it's like I saw that on the soup. Yeah their mouths are like oh you didn't practice No, apparently not because their mouths were as wide open as possible Just like how that guy's was and then megan didn't know what to do and she kind of like closed her mouth Like maybe trying to be like let's let's just do lips and he did not But that was a mistake that just made sure all of her mouth went into his mouth And so but this worked on her so that she kept him there And he went in for another one and she full on like gave him the cheek and it was Right, we're not repeating that mistake

It worked on her because he's worth 10 million dollars because he has the most money out of anybody there and he gave such like a A little shitty. Oh, yeah If if he could have had a musical stinger of just bounce bounce like a slide whistle to this day It's got to be the greatest sexual conquest of his life Like when he meets somebody who's like dude, I once had six or six women at the same time He's like I once licked the bottom half of a woman's face on a television program I mean she asked him how many people he dated and he did not answer if you recall Or they edited out his answer to make the storyline more cohesive. You know bullshit

Just like it was the first time doing it on how many girlfriends yet If you have 10 million dollars and have never been laid like there's There's probably a very strong reason for that. Yeah And I want to say it seems like maybe your impression is cruel or unnecessary But actually I think it's the best impression you've done It is just a genuine impression. I didn't mean spirited. That is literally what he sounds like Thank you. I'm very good at impressions. Remember earlier. I did the rocket car

I think I turned it into Kennedy. That was if I did Kennedy doing our own Schwarzenegger talking about the rocket car Who wait, who are you doing in the beginning when I thought you were doing Dennis Miller? Um God, I honestly don't remember. Okay. Hey, I like half half of all impressions turn into Dennis. Yeah, eventually It's not even a shan baby thing anymore. It's I don't even know what what Dennis sounds like All I I just picture shan baby doing Dennis Miller when I Like see Dennis Miller hear anything about Dennis Miller, which is only on this podcast, so Right

We're keeping him alive. We're keeping him current So, uh, I think we've covered most of the Important story beats of the show. Am I am I leaving anything out? She did kick off the sushi guy That didn't buy her any presents Yeah, his card was declined. So she declined his card again. And then like you could just see like something in his eyes that was just like It had he had no Way to process this like nobody has ever he's never been in position to be rejected before in his life

Yeah, so that you could see him feel it for the first time, which is just Oh, this is what pain is. Yeah, he just had a lot of sadness and confusion and I think the frustration of like You know say like no, I had I had 400 dollars like on my credit line like the bank didn't decline it because they don't have 400 dollars it declined it because Like the people running the company god damn it Right because you actually have a credit card machine set up in this weird stucco house run by a butler and they were like I don't know what this shell corporation is that you're using to buy gifts for like

Ford let's just face it. What sounds like A prostitute it sounds like you're buying a bunch of gifts for your favorite For megan. I can't just let you like give 600 dollars for attention megan. I don't know who megan is like Desperate attempts to buy a hand job on reality show. I yeah And I I think I'm getting to the meat of it I think That's my pick for murder. Sean was his name

Well, I think we're not gonna tell you if you got it But well, no, it's a strong choice. I don't know like I remember reading about the motive But I don't you know, you don't remember the face of a murder that you saw once in an article that you read somewhere So I'm not sure who it is I do every single one and I probably should that's I'm in grave danger because I don't but I I do not recall Yeah, you don't remember murders. I'm murderers at home are taking notes But I I do remember like hearing about this and I don't know if I said when we were recording the second part That this show is like kind of a holy grail for me that I knew it was out there

And I haven't been able to see it and I was very excited to see it So thank you again because uh megan friggin delivered Like exactly what I I would have loved this show when I was 14 I love it a little less as an adult because I like to think I'm slightly like a better person And I know I shouldn't enjoy it now But I do and I would have loved the shit out of it is like a 14 15 year old watching it It really has that uh the dynamic of like a schoolyard like bully a group of bullies Like the the macchiavellian maneuvers to gain social status is very grade school to me or I guess high school

Is more appropriate, but like yeah, it's just it's too bad. It all had to be dethroned by the brutal murder of a woman If if that hadn't happened this show would have gotten 15 seasons I agree completely. I think uh this show would have probably Started a moral decline that would have eventually eased us into the idea of murdering someone for sport Like this could have gotten us to running man if They hadn't jumped the gun and committed an actual. Yeah, you're right. This is I mean It's a long ways away But it's one of those like somebody's gonna write their dissertation on it in 50 years and be like

I've actually tracked where our murder for sport tv show came from And here's my argument that is going to get my masters in it's sport A violation of so many of the stated values of like the the culture we live in like You're not supposed to say any of this shit out loud. You're not supposed to do any of this shit But vh1 rep just rolling it like a dog. Yes, like like it's fucking uh game gamified prostitution It's outrageously bad like at the time though They were really into that like really like getting into the crevices of reality tv and making you like I told you guys in the slack about um frank the entertainer family values

Which was a reality tv show where a guy lived is the opposite of this basically the guy lives in his parents basement And 15 women move into the house with him and his parents and compete for him This guy who lives in the basement and they tried to like spin that as like, oh, he's such a family man He loves living in his parents basement when really it was like this guy has never done his own laundry in his entire life And like needs a second mommy to in order to move out, right? and uh that I Any loves day Like I thought that was the the end like the be all end all the reality tv and then I saw

Megan wants to marry a millionaire and it was somehow worse Yeah, I remember him from I love new york, but I I never watched his his reality show I think I might have seen a clip of it on the soup. I knew it existed But I uh, I looked up trivia from that show because I wanted to know who won You want to know the two trivia facts on the page the wikipedia page from that show Because they're really good. Yeah, they're really good. Okay First one is the winner kary schwarz frank and kary broke up after get guess how long after till they broke up three months

two hours I don't know who to give it to you because it was three days Rockway was closer. Rockway was closer, but you said three close us without going over. Um, and the second fact equally good is kary schwarz the winner had a nest of insects embedded in her skin and had to have a two hour two hour surgery process to remove them From from his basement From the basement. I don't know. It's just the only other fact that's on the show Smash cut to an interview with him going some chicks just can't handle the deck

Some chicks get a couple of egg nests under their skin the subcutaneous egg nests that I learned to grow up with I love them. My mom loves them and that's why they broke up, but that's your first skin nest like that's your first skin nest Come on. Come on. She's such a drama queen. She gets a little bit of bugs under her skin That's how I knew she wouldn't make a good mother So brockway On your manhunt right now. Who's your lead suspect? Who are your two secondary suspects? I saw so much rage and like confusion and shame in shawn's eyes and just uncomprehending mania

I think this was like his first taste of the cruelty of man And it's going to take him a little time to process it and it's just going to come out as like As like, you know when like a mormon snaps. It's it's the weird Is your argument that megan drove him to it? Is that what i'm hearing? I think I think any kind of basic human interaction Would have driven him to it because it seems like he was not prepared for He was for like human he was sort of shapes and had the personality of like an unfinished clone

Like he was a closet baby Like he was raised in a closet with like a tv to teach him language And uh, I think the world of man was too much for him and he will snap and murder Okay, so your lead suspect is shawn the unfinished clone who learned Rage From megan's rejection the underbaked clone. Yes Uh, I think for the secondary I don't even remember his name the guy with the curly hair and the glasses that wears a shirt of crowns

The one who talks to her like she's an infant. Yes Like she's an infant and I just you know sometimes you look at a guy and you're like that guy collects feet That guy collects feet Yeah, he gave her for the gift He gave her a passport with a bunch of stamps in it and he says oh look at this at your passport and turn the page Look at the little page. You turn the page. He thought she's a new york stamp And basically the idea was that he would take her to all these places. He made her read out loud the places Like she did not buy them. He was like, what does that say if she's like italy? He's like, what does that say?

That's very good Yeah, like that's that's a foot collector. He's a foot collector. I don't know if he collected these feet I think that's a good instinct. I mean, but they're both good picks, but I really like that guy for for the murderer Mm-hmm. So he's your lead suspect and I think that weirdly him And I agree with Brockway on Al, but I also think that Al deserves to win the show and Megan's heart I think he gets Megan. It would be unfortunate if he won and then murdered her, but um, yeah Like I think he understands her and what she wants Which is money. Yeah, she wants money money. He's not like terrible looking. They look like they would go together

They look like, you know, someone that you would Know as a couple and you'd be like, wow, she's really pretty. What's his deal? Is he really nice? I hope I hope that's his deal Yeah Yeah, he's not unpresentable. The liplessness is is a feature, but it's not like maybe a deal breaker Uh, yeah, it's I mean, it's fish-like. Yeah, he's certainly he's a complete drip I mean, he's got no personality and that might also just be because he's he seems really bad on camera And uh, yeah, but it's it's not called Megan wants a really good personality Yep, that's true

Um, also his net worth. I think he's the most easily abusable. That's what she's looking for really is like, who can I dominate? And that is Al all the way But if you run the numbers it said he was worth 2.5 million dollars, I think And over the course of a day, he gave her I want to say uh about 11 grand worth of presents Now, yeah, that's not a pace you can maintain Yeah, she's gonna believe him drawing, but he he still might win the show sure But even she can do that math

That's right. This one's only good for like two years. Do I really want to be doing another reality show in two years? Yeah, that's exactly what she wants. She's like, this is perfect for me You're a good you're a good downtime The other good thing about vh1 shows was if you got into one It wasn't like they were over after one flavor flave looked for love about 15 times never found it. That's true Never quite got there and for my for my third pick my dark horse pick I'm gonna do it

I think It's Megan. Oh, that's uh, that's one of those staring you right in the face kind of answers. How dare you? Right like organized the way she just fucking played and dominated garth. That is That is a that is a woman who will hunt for sport. Uh, that's like watching a a movie and saying oh the murderer is the cop He's got like a second personality. That's like the this Left field choice that feels right I love me. I'm going with it. It's megan wants a megan wants a murder victim Oh

After she gets put in the will how could you yeah, it all it all adds up Megan's a force of nature uh I'm so sad that this was the end of all vh1 reality shows Yep But it had to be where could they go? Oh, yeah, definitely. I mean it's a good thing, but still watching this I was like, oh, I remember this It's probably the worst thing that could have come from that murder

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