The Dogg Zzone by 1900HOTDOG - Dogg Zzone 9000 - Episode 173, Manimal With Merritt K

Episode Date: May 1, 2024

Seanbaby meets the sinister businessman, Brockway, and lost little wolfgirl Merritt K for a podcast about Manimal - the 1980s TV show about a manimal. You get it.

1-900-HOT-DOG 1-900-HOT-DOG Our podcast slams with maximum hype. Say Hot Dog Podcast Word. Yeah. When you taste that nitrate power, you're in the dog zone for an hour. Come on.

You know the number. 1-900 1-900-HOT-DOG Welcome to the DocZone 9000, the official podcast of 1900hotdog.com, the last website. You can go there every day for a new article about some broken thing written with the thoughtful joke density of the Golden Age of online media. We're supported by listeners like you, maybe, at patreon.com slash 1900hotdog. You go there, you get the bonus podcasts, all the articles, discord events with us. Plus, you're keeping the last dozen internet comedy writers employed. I'm world web favorite Sean Baby, and my co-host is Basket Magazine's fabulous hunk bulge of November lawsuit pending Robert Brockway!

I'ma get it. I'ma get that lawsuit. I'ma get it through. You guys are fucked. You guys are fucked. Best of luck. Here's a Brockway fact. I was raised for a time by black bears in Idaho. No follow-up questions. Okay. Today our guest is a glamorous and Canadian writer whose book Land Party is available right now everywhere.

It's Merritt Kay, welcome back. Hey, thanks for having me. I am, I wasn't raised by any wild animals, but I was captured as a prisoner of war by M. Bison and subjected to psychological conditioning that turned me into like an animal monster man. So, yeah, it was documented in a movie, Raul Julia played M. Bison, it was a whole thing. Did we ever get your humanity back?

I think it's implied kind of that I remember being a human being at the end, and then escape and do a cool pose with all the other Street Fighters. Now, is that better or worse than if you didn't remember that? That seems like it could be kind of torture. That seems worse, right?

That seems worse. Like, just let Blanka be an animal. He's forgotten the sins of man. Don't make him remember her. I have a wardrobe question. Did you get... Did he give you a combat leotard, or did you get one of those suits that gives you CPR

in case you die during a fistfight? What a cool suit, right? Like, does that only work if you have powers already? It's a real smart person's idea of a suit that would work. Right? I mean, it's kind of sad because the real story of why he's wearing that crazy suit in that movie is because he was dying of cancer and he was so small at the time that they had to put him in this giant suit. And then the director probably had the idea like,

what if it was a CPR suit? What if it was a magic suit that gave you a second life? Did that really come from the padded suit? I have no idea, but I want to believe. Okay. It sounded like that was some real trivia. Because I don't think Rayl Julia, I don't think it was an option to have Rayl Julia

get jacked at any point in his life. They weren't going to be like. Certainly not then. Certainly not then, no. Yeah. Raoul, we're going to give you eight months to get in shape. We got a trainer. I mean, the story of the making of that movie is completely crazy. They were being trained on set to sort of fight and stuff by just local Thai people. That movie is very frustrating to me because Jean-Claude Nandam was right there.

He could have told them how to make a blood sport. Yeah. And they just didn't. I think he was legally forbidden from making a blood sport. Like I think at that point, Frank Dux owned the patent for the formula. Yeah, they were in that lawsuit probably for the quest. Yeah, you're right. It's a good point. Now today we're talking about Manimal. Before we do that, where can people find more about you, Merritt? Yeah. So I have a website, otherstrangeness.com. I write a lot of fiction on there.

I've also been writing more fiction on my Patreon lately, which is just patreon.com slash Merritt K. And yeah, you should check that out if you like horror, fiction, sci-fi stuff. And I also write out a website called 1900 hot dog. Oh, fuck yeah. Yeah, it's pretty cool. I wrote, I usually write about, you know, kids media from the 80s and then I did a hard

swerve this month and wrote about one of the worst things I've ever seen in my life. Yeah, it was tough. I wrote about Black Tokyo. It was like a real dark perverts take on role playing. Was it like a Dungeons and Dragons mod? Yeah, it's like a mod for like D20. And it's supposed to be like 90s hentai OVA vibes, but there's like way more people shitting on themselves than I've ever seen in like any,

like I don't remember in like, you know, Wicked City. I don't think anyone ever did that, but it's been a while since I've seen it. I actually know that one. That's where the lady turns in, where he fucks a motorcycle? Is that the- Yeah, that's well, that's the spider lady.

That's where like 90% of his ideas came from. And then he added the poop armor on top of that. Hold on, hold on. Rockway showed you the Chinese live action adaptation of the anime. Oh, you're right. Okay. So we're not good enough friends for you to show me like the real shit.

You just like, there's like several layers of abstraction of just bizarreness between those things. Of like, yeah, we can say that's a Brockway thing. Nope. Mm hmm. Nope. Well, Merit showed me the poop armor, so we are best friends now. Yeah, I'm just saying like we're equivalent. Right. We're even.

They provide equal AC in battle. Yeah. I'm really glad we're talking about Manimal and maybe not the poop armor because what a show this is. I like never really watched this as a kid and revisiting this is fucking... God, it's so awesomely bad. It's just the epitome of 1983. Like, it is absolutely because no decade really gets that cultural change right at the number. Like it wasn't the 80s in 1980. It was still 1970s for a little bit. But it started being the 80s right in 1983. And I think it started with Manimal. It was right in that sweet spot where someone's like, let's make a show about a superhero. But

like he has to, he can't be like Superman, right? He has to suck shit. He has to just be barely better than a human, but also like, like no one can know about him. So he's kind of, it's kind of a pain in the ass for him to be a superhero, because he's always having to like find a place to turn into a hawk where no one can know of this.

You don't have to go watch the whole thing We're gonna we're gonna we're gonna paint you a word picture. We'll get you through it But everybody right now should go and watch just the intro to manimal. You can find it on YouTube Watch the watch the title sequence and you will understand especially if you're a little younger You will understand everything you need to know about the 1980s. Right there. Manimal. Hahaha! Okay. Dr. Jonathan Cheek.

Wealthy, young, handsome. A man with the brightest of futures. A man with the darkest of pasts. From Africa's deepest recesses, to the rarefied peaks of Tibet, heir to his father's legacy and the world's darkest mystery. My son, you must have faith and learn. This is not the end, this is the beginning. He vanishes! Jonathan Chase, master of the secrets that divide man from animal.

Animal from man. Manimal! Perfect. So I kind of miss this style of intro where it's very the prisoner style of intro where you don't need a pilot episode. I don't know if there was a pilot episode explaining all of this, but you don't fucking need that. You just got the intro. Like that is the story.

We can jump right into any episode now. And you're good. I'd argue if you have a title as perfect as Manimal, you don't even need this. Right. They explained the concept of Manimal several times, but it's right there in the word. Yeah. It's like, yeah, we don't need this, but also like this comes after the theme song. Like there is a theme song. Yeah. That's not the theme song for the show. There is a theme song and then there's this. And at first I was like, oh, this would be like in the pilot.

This is like how they explain it, but it's in every episode. I feel like the only thing we needed from it is like, is he a science monster or is he like an African wizard monster? Right. And like, yeah, he's an African wizard. He's a dark African sorcery beast. That he inherited from his father who disappeared into a hawk forever. Yeah, it's not like he died and gave him the power. It's like, I'm going to turn

into a hawk and leave also before I go. You have the you have the hawk panther. What else can he do? Snake? I can't dolphin. He can do I think theoretically he can do anything, but for practical budgetary reasons, he can only do Bird and Panda. Because it's like, we basically, what happens in the show is it's like the same thing as like an 80s or 90s anime where they recycle the footage of him transforming to save money, like Sailor Moon. It is a magical girl transformation.

Do watch the theme song though. It's the intro. The theme song's banging. You got hyper color Miami vice shit. You got computer graphics flying everywhere. You got a panther hype man. I just can't sell how 80s and how kick ass it is. It's so good.

Yeah, it rules. When he transforms into a hawk, imagine like, like an Animorphs novel, just like the very middle picture where it just looks all fucked up. It's like two or three versions of that super fucked up and nothing else. So he'll be like, for like a hawk, he'll give him like a long nose and zoom in on his face while he's like, he really hates turning into animals. Yeah, no, it hurts him every time.

It's like Wolverine with the claws coming out, except all his bones are hollowing out from the inside. The problem is they stop at the point like they give you the two or three transitions, but they always stop the transitions and then just smash gut to him as the animal. They stop it at the point where it just looks like it's getting worse. So it looks like he's really fucking this up. Worse and worse like, oh no, uh-oh, it's not going right. This isn't what I meant to do. Oh no, and then he's just a hawk.

Like it's never the, okay, he's turning more into the animal now. He never hits that point. It's just weirder and weirder. He never quite bridges the gap between the draw three circles and then draw an owl. Yeah. He's always like, draw real fucked up circles and then it's just an owl.

You're like, man, I don't know how you got there. Things were things were taking a turn on you. Yeah, he's thinking Hawk accidentally has like a straight thought. Oh, I got to do my laundry and then he's half laundry machine, half chicken. It looks he looks panicked for a lot of it. He looks like he's like clearly losing control of the situation. Part of that, let's talk about the transformation. Part of that is that he transforms by first just like going to disassociating from his

body and going to his happy place and then breathing kind of like he's going to come just a lot of, oh, oh, oh. And then everybody around him just looks at him like, the fuck is going on here? And then it cuts to increasingly panicked versions of him turning into like some abomination. Yeah, I guess only a few people have ever seen it, right? Like he's just got like a trusted circle of friends. They forgive him. Somehow they forgive him.

I can't remember the woman's name. The lady playing close cop from Flash Gordon. Did you say they forgive him? They forgive him every time you would have to. Like I can. For his crimes against nature. Right. If I saw that guy transformed, that's the end of our friendship. Like, I know it kicks ass.

No, you're right. It kicks ass to be best friends with a Black Panther, but not not that much, not enough to ever see that again. Turned into a hawk in front of me. I'm punching that hawk in the fucking face. Absolutely. Do that shit in my home. The character's name is Simon McCorkindale, which... That's the name a bully gives you

when your name is something close to Simon McCorkindale. That's the way, that's the actor's name. Is it the actor? Okay. I think that's the actor's name. That's worse that it's the actor's name. No, you're right.? I think that's the actor's name. That's worse than it's the actor's name. No, you're right. The character is Chase. The actor is Simon McCorkindale.

McCorkindale. Okay, so it was written by our old friend Glenn A. Larson. We did an episode about the Knight Rider novel and episode he wrote. He was very prolific, obviously very talented. It was also written by Douglas Schwartz, who created Baywatch and Sheena and Thunder in Paradise. So he knows what we want. We want action adventure and as much titty as the law allows. And Michael Burke, right?

Or was he just a writer on it at this point? Yeah, there was a third writer on it. I can't remember who it was. Yeah, it was Michael Burke. Yeah. Yeah, the partnership that continues on after Manimal is Douglas Schwartz and Michael Burke together. And they went on to make magic together. Yes.

For sure. A very specific kind of magic. We'll get into that later. The episode we're talking about is called Female of the Species. And it cuts to, I guess they're in a lecture, like Manimal is an adult student in a university, watching a professor talk about the first human being raised as a wolf. And they show really weird footage, like multiple cameras that went out into India and they captured this feral woman. A lot of coverage. They all applaud for this very well filmed human kidnapping. And Manimal is visibly shaken by this.

He's the only one. Like, this is a human woman getting thrown into a net. And only Manimal is like, God, I don't like the optics of this at all. Everyone else is like, fuck yeah! Do you remember that UFC podcast we did where like, was it Harold Howard really wanted to go on to fight Royce Gracie? But then he was like pissed off. His manager came out to celebrate when he was disqualified and then he had to like real

quick adjust all of his expectations to like, oh no, we're upset. We're upset instead of happy. Yes, yes. It's one of my favorite UFC moments. That's exactly what happened with the lady cop in this class, because she was watching the she was watching it and they cut her for reaction shots and she was like, yeah, yeah, this rules. And then she was looking over at Manimal like, uh-huh, uh-huh.

And then slowly saw him get upset and was like, oh, yeah, we're upset. Oh, we're mad. No, we're mad. McCorkindale's acting choice. She says, you're right. That is better. And we're mad about the wolf girl. Yeah, everyone's just kind of cool with the idea of capturing a human being and not trying to rehabilitate her, but just like, and now we have a chance to study what happens when there's a wolf child. Like, we know what happens.

Like, they're shit all over the place and jump around on cars. And like, like what? They can't read. Yeah. And your priority is not to rehabilitate this person. Who is like, she's like an adult woman. She's, I don't know, probably like what?

Like, I forget if they say how old she's supposed to be, but she looks like 18, 19. Yeah, she's definitely- In her young 20s. Yeah, she's definitely in her 20s. She's definitely an adult. Right. I hope so. And they're like, no, we're going to keep her in this zoo box to study wolves or something. I like that they can sell exactly what you're talking about.

That like, no, we're not rehabilitating her because the next line, the professor says, and now let's visit her in the cave habitat I created in the basement. Love that. Just in the storage room in the basement. It's like an Indiana Jones, like roller coaster ride, like foam rocks. There's these crates that say India. Just why are there crates in there? Is that her natural habitat? Because they're from India?

The set designer was like, you know what this cave needs is some adventure crates. Maybe a couple skeletons with glowing eyes. Like, let's really cave it up. But I do like that, because I feel like we can all understand, like throwing a feral human in a net and dragging her away like a bag of vegetables is troubling, but only Manimal with his half animal heart truly can understand it. And I don't, I wrote down that I do not think it's an allegory for anything. I really think that this is just the first and only viable romantic option Manimal has

ever had. Yeah, no, it's not. It doesn't hold up to any scrutiny. This isn't about, oh, I'm a minority or I'm living in between two worlds. It's just like, oh, she's also an animal person. Yep. Alright, cool. She's a human monster.

Who can animal bang if not the wolf girl? I want to talk about real quick, what the fuck is his accent? It's like 80s rich dick. I feel like I've only heard his accent in ski comedies. He is... I looked it up because I was like, that guy is doing the worst British accent I have ever heard. He's from England. Really? Yeah. What was he doing? It kind of sounds like.

Was he trying to do an American accent? I think we ran over the tennis instructor, Bonner. Yeah, it's very. That feels like what he's doing. Right. It's very Atlantic, like the Atlantic yuppie. But like with a hint of British, I was sure he was he was just like a New York actor doing a really bad British accent. That's crazy that he's British. Yeah, you're you're really bad at being you should be better at being

British. You should practice. Maybe it was one of those things where like he sounded normal. And the director was like, no one's gonna buy that you're British. It's the 80s. Like, we all know what a British person sounds like. And they sound like just a complete buffoon. Can you really hand that up for us? And he was like, if I must. If I must. He worked with a dialect coach to get a little hawk in there. No, no, no. A hawk would you know what, maybe it was a little bit of an animal. Like he's trying to channel the animal inside and that's what's making his word choice so weird. That's never happened.

I've never met somebody that says they're from somewhere and based on their accent, I'm like, no, you're not. Right. Fucking no, you're not. You're not Irish. You're not. That's not Australian. Yeah, but I would argue that here.

I would absolutely to his face be like, yeah, you're not British. Knock it off. Yeah, you're not even a fucking wolf, I bet. Son of a bitch. Well, the professor speaking wolf, he says that the wolf girl will only wear prey fur and she would violently tear off any other clothes that they gave her. So very important. You're already seeing the sex fetish kind of sneaking in here, whether the writers know it or not.

With the reveal that we're gonna share at the end of the show, I think it'll become more apparent that this is somebody's sexual obsession. Very specific, very specific. She looks pretty good for having been living in the woods with, or like the jungle with wolves. Yeah, she got that wolf makeup on.

Are there wolves in India even, is that even like a thing? I don't, I feel like I'm just starting to question that. Like, oh, of course. But I don't know. You don't think the wolves have a day spa to like do her nails and hair? You're right.

I mean, I guess they cleaned her up probably, but she has all her teeth. Oh yeah, there's that. That's a good point. She's like, she's already looking pretty good for like a ladyboy. It's kind of matted, but that hair is definitely feathered.

You could only get that if like all of the wolves were breathing on her at once to be kind of a blow dryer. I feel like you just couldn't not have that hair in 1983. That's true. Like, you just wake up like that in 1983 and we all just accepted it. But yeah, I think it's a sex fetish. Like, when they're sitting around thinking, like, you know what? She'd be nude, right? Like, fully nude. She would just tear off her clothes violently, cling into her supple, lithe, wool-forming breasts. Oh, and she just pees on

everyone. They simply can't train her not to do it. Just peeing on everybody in their, in their food, in their mouths. I don't know. It's not offensive. She's just saying you're hers. You belong to her. They're rolling up so many different things into this one idea, you know, it's really dense. Yeah. It's with fetishistic content, for sure. So they're sitting in the class and she's nearby in her little cave habitat. And then someone sneaks in and throws a stick of dynamite in there. I have

a clip. It's not a stick of dynamite. Hold on. It is like an incendiary device. It is a needlessly high tech, self-destructing incendiary device that looks like the Men in Black thing. They mention all that. They say all this out loud. They say this is a high-tech, self-destructing incendiary device that all it does is make like a little spark to start like the hay and stuff on fire in there. It's never brought up again. It's more than you would need to murder a wolf girl, I would say. Her howling sounds so sad. That's not sadness. That's fear. And you'll hear a little Chewbacca here.

I don't know, I just love that. No, that's an interesting, the sound is an interesting choice because it's clearly a person doing that sound, but it's also clearly not her. It's like it's 80 yard and she doesn't try to like modulate her mouth shape to make the different noises and the different pitches as you would. She just opens her mouth as wide as she can and holds it that way. And then a bevy of these sounds come out. And listeners, you're not going to believe this, but she is pretty hot and looks pretty good in her sexy cavewoman outfit.

So I looked this actress up and she went from this obvious sex fetish thing to a successful career in HR. So I'm not saying something weird happened, but she never acted again and dedicated her life to making sure weird stuff doesn't happen at work. So I don't know. Wow. Inspiring. Anyway, when Manimal comes to a rescue, she just busts past him and escapes out of the campus. Dale Arden, I

can't remember the actress's name. She gets in her car like puts on the siren. So she's like a plainclothes cop who was also taking a class on wolf woman biology. Now I think that was a date. I think manimal, because they there's a little bit in there like they might them implicationally might have a relationship going on. They came to this lecture as like this is what we do for fun here. As well rounded people in 1983, we go learn about the wolf girl. You just audit a wolf girl class.

That's just a nice, a nice date. So Manimal chases her on foot, but he has no chance. She is stopping to gape at every single thing, to growl at every single pedestrian. She makes him wet the clothes at them. A superhero with shoes. How could he catch a barefoot woman stopping to gasp at everything? That's kind of the theme of the episode is that Manimal can't catch shit. It's also worth mentioning that he does finally catch up to her when she gets cornered and she is soaked, just a primal babe and a fur bikini dripping and wet.

My notes just say I really like this part. She's also doing kind of like a little raccoon display and Manimal is still in his full human form. He just has his arms outstretched, just like, oh, you'd think he would like know some kind of a dog language, but he doesn't. This is just the first thing any idiot would try. And I found this frustrating that here's this person uniquely suited to talk down a maniac dog woman. And he's just like, I don't know what to do here. That's how I approach normal women. Like I didn't, I wouldn't even need to adapt my strategy to Wolf Girl. You have to get live to the ground, put your hands out.

Let him know you're not a threat. Let him smell you a little bit. Yeah, exactly. That is how I talk to women. It works. So the cops show up and they draw down on her. They're going to fucking kill her with a shotgun. Why does he pull a shotgun on her? Like they know they were there.

They don't know. She could have the ability to shock them with the power of an electric eel. She could roll into a wall and watch herself. I guess in 1983. You gotta assume that. Honestly, I don't even know why the cops are there. As far as he knows, this is a 120 pound woman in a Halloween costume, just like doing a performance art piece at best. Draws a fucking shotgun and points it at her head, clearly posing no threat. I know why he does it. I don't know why he does it to a white lady. Also, shouldn't this be like animal control? I'm serious. Yeah, bring out the guy with the big dog catching net.

If they're allowed to keep her in a cage at the university, she clearly has no personhood. This is an animal control issue. She's not subject to laws. The laws of man. But you also can't shoot a dog with a shotgun just because it ran across the campus. Again, the cops can and do do that. So I think actually this is all standard practice. It's just weird that it's a beautiful white lady

in the 1980s. Like that doesn't check out. Right. So Manimal, she just shoots up the wall, which is pretty excellent. She's got insane wolf climbing powers. Like you did. Yeah, she climbs like a wolf.

Yeah. Yeah. He chases her to the roof and he can't find her. And here's what he says. Blast. See, that's not real. A British person would not say blast. Blast. Great. You want to take you to do another take?

No, I think we got it. Blast. Yeah, that's it. Fucking I don't know why he cares. He just transforms into a hawk and finds her in like two seconds. And again, it just takes a full minute of mid-anomorph nightmare. But also, they do the thing that they do in, there's a Bond movie where he's on a gondola, and then it turns into a hovercraft,

and he's driving along the street, and they play it as like a comedy joke. And there's a part in that where like a pigeon does a double take. Yeah, the pigeon. They do in this, they have all these animals like reacting comedically to him turning into, which I guess makes more sense.

Like if, you know, a pigeon sees a guy turn into a hawk, it's like, it should be like the comedic, like throwing the garbage over its shoulder. Like, oh, like, it should be like the comedic like throwing the garbage over its shoulder like, oh, I gotta stop eating this shit. It's just like a million different animals in a million different settings. I know, like, who want to cross the city? What are you doing over there, buddy? The pigeon was the only recurring one. They kept cutting back to the pigeon over and over

again and for like the first, I want to say 40 seconds of the transformation, the pigeon was like, okay, let's chill. Let's chill. All right. Okay. It's an abomination. Doesn't affect me at all. Only at the very end when they cut back and it's a hawk and they cut back to the pigeon

going, oh, fuck, it's a hawk. And then he flies away. It was a real good joke. I don't know that that's intentional, but it was real good. Okay. So he finds her almost immediately. He's got Hawkeyes and she is scaring a cat away from some leftover food in the park, where she gets attacked by a gang of like,

very sexually aggressive, I guess you'd call them daytime park rapists? Did anybody else crack the fuck up at the way that all of the daytime park rapists just, it's a spawn point of creeps, they come out I swear to god some of them descend from above like out of the frame I think they've just like been birthed into existence at this very moment in full creep pattern it's not even their fault like that's just how their brains operate like they've been created by some sick god to torture wolf women because like I swear to god a lot of them appear, they're not starting a sentence,

they're in the middle of a creep header, like dead silence as she mouths into just raw cat meat. And then, hey baby, I said, hey baby, oh, look at this baby, you love me baby. Like just out of nowhere, dead silence to like. There's no escalation either. There's no like, oh, like, do you want to go out? Oh, can I get your number? Oh, what? Oh, what? You have a

boyfriend? You can't have a friend? What? Like, it's, it's not like that. It starts at, oh, like, we're going to sexually assault this nonverbal cave woman. Again, we have been spawned into existence at this very moment in time with no previous life knowing only that we must assault this woman. Now, I am a boner American.

I can admit that this woman in the caveman bikini is like, okay, I'm into this. But also if I saw this in the wild, I'd be like, something terrible has happened that led to this. It's not, I'm not going to hit on this woman. She might need some help. Yeah, or like a time travel wizard to be exact. I don't see my relationship with this woman working out. Is, I guess my point. Sure.

I don't see a future there. I don't want a blowjob from the mouth that was just devouring rotten cat meat. Like, I don't want that connection. It's not appealing. Maybe years from now, after I've taught her to talk, like when I dated Helen Keller, like you put in the time. I don't know.

Yeah, but the Wolf woman would just go out and become a, you know, champion for socialist causes, wouldn't have any time for blowjobs. So just like Helen Keller. That's true. No time. No time for hand jobs since she was so good at him. Cut all of this. All of this is cut.

So Manimal comes in to interrupt this conversation. He like, he jumps, he flies in in hawk form and he like scares him away. Cause they're like, what the fuck? We're being attacked by a hawk while we we while we try to tear apart this dog woman. Okay, but it's one bird and it is a grand total of three pounds of bird and they all flee. They leave one of their friends to die to the hawk. Yes. Yeah, that guy loses an eye. And he might have but he but he stabs it. He stabs the hawk and this is like our dramatic commercial break.

He pulls a switchblade on a hawk and this is like our dramatic commercial break. He pulls a switchblade on a hawk. And then still runs. Like I'm telling you, if I'm in a knife fight with a hawk and I stab the hawk, I don't like run away. I verify the kill and then I barbecue it. That's just how I was raised. Anyway, we cut to commercial break and it cuts back and he's now in human form, a paramedic for just getting a bandaid like he has the fucking tiniest little wound and he almost blows his manimal cover I have a clip here it's very, very dramatic.

I'm gonna give you a tetanus shot. That one was pretty dirty. Have pieces of feathers in that probably uses blade skinned birds. Yes, that is the logical explanation. uses blades to skin birds. Yes, that is the logical explanation, isn't it? He talks himself out of it, Manimal. Yeah, he skins birds. He's like, right, I'm not a Manimal. That's another thing you said. I wasn't gonna think that, but now.

Doesn't believe the world it's creating. Like, Manimal is just like, it's like almost they're trying to do a self-aware thing where like, Manimal can't believe that no one knows that he's man-am-al. Right. But why would they? Oh yes, no, of course, this man was skidding birds, yes.

And he's surprised that he's getting away with it constantly, you know? With a switchblade. He's out here hunting birds, stabbing them out of the air with his switchblade, and then skidding them. That's a real problem at this park. this park full of spawn points and creeps. The feather. So not to get into like a lore question here, but there are still feathers even after he's turned back. Is that because the feathers were strorn from his body and so they don't they're not affected by the magic spell? I took it to mean that like he got like a little bit turned inside out when he got stabbed and so

it's part of the manimal outside got inside. That being said, his clothes transform with him. So I feel like these rules are real loosey goosey. I don't know. They transform with him but it has no effect on the ensuing animal, which that's a bummer. If you're going to do the clothes transform, if he's wearing a yellow polo, they should have a yellow polo-shaped splotch of fur. Here's the way I would do it. Hawk is dead forever. You can never turn into a hawk again.

Right. He's burned that one. So the animal just has a decreasing number of animals he can turn into as they get killed in combat. Yeah, he's like an animal based spawn. And once he's used all of his animals, he has to go back to Malabogia and lead his armies of hell. It's a go back to fake England.

And lead Margaret Thatcher's armies of hell. Let me share this with you. This is really they start to figure out where the wolf girl went. Why in the world would anyone want to figure out where the wolf girl went. Well, her instincts led her here. This would have felt like... That's it! That's where she'll be. Oh, they'll kill her. When? Remember that! I'll call you soon as I find out something.

Okay, so Man-O-Mos is a bit impulsive. He doesn't let people in on the plan. He could have just said the zoo. Oh, they'll kill her. Right. And sure enough, she's not just a wolf person. She's a wolf idiot because she sees the other wolves and she's like, yay, wolves. Whereas I I do feel like wolves when they encounter strange wolves are like, OK, I need to be worried about this. Yeah, all the wolves are not superior to us in their love for each other. Like that's the spirit.

Yeah, they don't have a lot of brotherhood. But not the wolf, not the brotherhood of the wolf. That's not a thing. That's a movie. It's not a thing. Yeah, that's Mark Dacascos. It's a sweet ass movie. The Lolly Manimal gets there in time. He shows up as a panther. And the cave girl's like, what? Panther?

Wait, sniff sniff? Oh, hi, Manimal. So she gets it. And very calmly watches his horrifying transformation back into man. Now, see. Here's where, in my notes, I put his clothes are part of it. And I don't know why that.

I guess when he transformed into a hawk, I thought he got nude and then flew down and then... And that's part of the... Incredible Hulk ran into that problem too where he's like between transformations, he has to find new clothes, whereas Mannimals like, no, no, no, whatever I'm wearing. No, I don't care. We don't deal with that on Mannimals. There was a point. They had a conversation about that in the writer's room, I'm sure. There was a point in the Black Panther 2 man transformation where he was very briefly,

just for one scene, one little screen cap, he was a panthero and it was okay. Yeah, he was. And he burned right past the panthero sweet spot and kept going until he was this fake British man again. But like, she would be into that panthro Yeah, absolutely. It's close to blackface. Oh, you're right. You're right But if he explained it, I feel like it would be fine. Like no, it's not like look it's yeah fur I'm a panther man. It's a whole thing. No, it's not I know black panther. It sounds weird, but there's no such thing as white panthers No, it's not. I know Black Panther. It sounds weird, but there's no such thing as white panthers. No, it's not It's not a race thing

Never believe them. It's just dark African powers that Okay, so they bring her back to Mademoiselle's house and she sleeps on the carpet like a little kitty cat and she violently lunges at anyone who isn't manimal because she's sexually imprinted on him, I guess is how you would take this because she hates Dale Arden, because she's a rival. And they take this in stride. They're not like, oh, dude, you should really have a talk with her about how you're not going to fuck her. They're just like, no, no, no, this is funny. See, I think they're both the way they play that scene. I think they're both a little into those implications because she's like, the wolf girl lunges at the lady cop and she's like,

Whoa, maybe she sees me as your rival for love. And then was like, Oh, no. Maybe the two of us will start kissing and see where this goes. They're using this this wolf woman as some kind of prop now in their deranged relationship. This is very much we saw you across the savanna and liked your vibes. Hi, I'm Panther. This is the girl from Flash Gorgz. If you put it like that, I'd be into it. If you put it like that, I'd be into it. Speaking of costume group sex stuff, the group comes back from a costume party.

They're a Frankenstein on a medieval night and a very sexy Scheherazade, like way more nude than you're picturing. In a lot of states, you would not be able to serve liquor if this woman was dancing inside. And they're just like on their way back from a costume party. The night is hammered and this is their good friend Tyrone. He thinks the wolf girl there is having their own costume party, which is a funny mix up. The way he applies it, though, is like he goes what was it was his name Chase?

Yeah, man got Chase it goes like Chase you dog you were having you like like he nailed this wolf girl so hard that she passed Out on the floor and the way he says it is like oh again like this is a normal thing He often comes back to like filthy women dressed like animals unconscious on the floor Right because he's a manimal. Because you live with a manimal. Does Ty live with Chase? Like, why is he coming back drunk after a costume party? Like completely smacked.

I'm pretty sure they're roommates. They are roommates. Yeah, I think they might be roommates. He says another little bit here where he says like, after she attacks him, and he does his wacky antics, he's like, Whoa, I thought it was like that snake charmer girl. And what you did to her snake. And then the lady cop friend is like, Whoa, what did you do with this snake? He's like, don't, Ty, shut up.

Don't tell her about that. So he fucked somebody's snake in this house and Ty saw it. Probably as a snake. He's like, you guys want to see some crazy shit? Hold that snake still. I'm gonna fuck it. No, no, it's okay. You know, that raises a whole bunch of other ethical questions which minimal scholars debate to this day of is it ethical for

minimal as a snake to have sex with a snake. And, you know, it's not settled. I'm gonna say... I'm gonna say a snake can't consent to a human snake. Yeah, does he still have man-brain in the snake? Yeah, that's what I'm saying. If he still has man-brain, absolutely not. Yeah, but if he has snake-brain... He might have to, because otherwise how would he turn back? Yeah, that's a good point.

No, none of this is okay. None of that's okay, Man So yeah, yeah, it's a good point. No, none of this is okay. None of that's okay. I'm glad we settled that. And Jamie, feel free to cut all this. Animal. So, so back we come back to the reminded that like, oh, yeah, people are trying to kill her. And animals still going about his day. I don't know what he does. But he's he's grooming a baby wallaby when we cut back to him. And he's got like a, like a habitat for all these animals. And I don't know if he's like stealing their powers.

Like, is he? Or he's just kind of like a philanthropist or like a animal guy? Like a vet? He's just running a shelter, maybe. I think he's just independently wealthy. But he's like Bruce Wayne. I hate to go back to this old thing, but what if he's fucking that wallaby? It's not okay. It's not us being wacky and ridiculous because the previous scene to this, his roommate said, you fucked that snake. Like, in no uncertain terms, we made a little bit out of it. He's like, shut up. You can't tell her about fucking the snakes. So like, is it out of the question that he's got a zoo harem?

Because I don't think it is. They are trying to move the plot along despite getting lost in all these thoughts. I think that most of Manimal is like a real basic plot while the viewers just like, God, how would this work? Yeah, what is happening? What is this? Because right now we're deep into the episode and they finally decide to like, maybe look up if there's any girls that went missing around the time this girl would have been raised by wolves.

Anyway, the wolf girl is getting closer and closer to Mammal. She curls up on him, snuggles on his crotch. And then it cuts straight from there to the girl from Flash Gordon giving her a bath. Like it's behind a closed door, but like that's what's happening. She is wrestling a nude woman into the soap and they play this clip. But I don't think she likes clothes much.

This has my scent on it. Perhaps you should try this. You're assent on it. This shirt. Mmm. How can she resist? Oh! So they're all fucking?

Yeah. So if you missed that clip, the lady cop, he hands her and says she might like my scent which is like a little Iffy and then the lady cop takes a big huff of his shirt and looks at him and it's like, oh yeah And then he rears back to like slap her ass. So like This is a romantic relationship. Those vibes were very wrong earlier when they When they got a little bit into the wolf girl and it's now not okay that they're bathing her Yes, it's-

Yeah, they made it weird. They're kind of trying to teach her how to be a human. They're doing a Helen Keller thing, which again, you shouldn't have sex with the person and then teach them how to speak human language. That's just a standard order. They are not into it. They are not into that at all.

They try, okay, so this scene, they have her look in a mirror and then they have a textbook picture of a wolf in front of her. He points at the wolf and he says wolf, he points at the girl in the mirror, he says girl and then he points at her and says girl. And he goes wolf, girl, girl. He does that twice and then they go ah and give up. It's not working. Like doing that when she's coming back to Helen Keller, but that's like putting Helen Keller's hands in water

once and going water, water, ah, she's not gonna get it. Yep. Like also, okay, I get that he's a manimal. Like, sure, I accept the premise that he's a manimal, he has special connection to like, to animal powers, but surely this is like a job, right? Like it's probably not a job where you get a lot of work, but someone has this job where their job is, I'm going to help rehabilitate people who were raised by wolves or were raised, you know, in situations, they were locked up in

like a basement for 15 years. Like that's a thing. I'm sure it goes beyond just like, you mirror wolf bad. No, human good, not wolf. And like, they're going about this in just like the most elementary possible way. And it's like, you'd think he'd do some kind of animal mind millmeld power, but no. He's just like holding up a picture of a wolf. Fairly sure they read this in some kind of book, because they reference some real specific things from a couple of very, very old kind of disproven books about feral children. And I think they got this from those books. I've not read those books.

It's just the sense I get like Yeah We all remember him because I had a bat boy in a cave They do they do make reference to how like an animal can't recognize its reflection Mmm, and they they say that as fact. I don't think that's true. I've seen my dog know that it's Itself in a mirror. Yeah, but I think fish think that's true. I've seen my dog know that it's itself in a mirror. Yeah. I've seen fish do that, man. Yeah, fish have their head wrapped around it, but they're like, no, no, no, this wolf girl, she's going to look at a mirror and think it's a rival wolf girl.

They talk about Romulus and Remus, like, oh, of course, we all know. Of course. The mythical founders of Rome were suckled by wolves. That's the origin of this scientific principle. No, that was a really, really old myth. Really old. Like that was more than actual. That didn't actually happen. You know that, right? I have in my notes that the evil professor comes here and he like wants his savage wolf girl back. He's like, hey, I was teaching a class about this thing. Give it back to me. And he's like, it's not a thing. She's a person. And then that kind of just never gets resolved.

Like, they tell him to fuck off. He does. Good point. I guess you're right. She is technically a person. Tyrone comes in, he knows exactly who this was after 20 minutes of research. He's like, guys, check this out. A girl went missing in the Ganges River, which is in India. They're like, oh, it's probably her. A guy outside with a rifle is just waiting to shoot her the second she comes out. And he tries and misses. And now we have a car chase.

This guy is in his panel van and Manimal drives a Ferrari 400. And Manimal sucks so fucking hard the van gets away. But it's all okay because the reason he gets away is a truck backs out and it's from a toy company and Manimal looks at it and goes, huh, I just remembered that toys exist. Dude, this cracked me up so bad because I thought, oh, the toy company, this must be where they're keeping her or where that they work or something. But no, he just remembers toy. He just teaches them that it reminds them of toys.

That's right, toys. So they give it to Tyrone and he stomps around with them like, I'm an elephant. And she is fucking giggled. She can't believe how good a show this is. And then they transition from this like, sweet, this cute little puppet show into a full reenactment of the boat accident that killed their family. The classic daddy mommy mommy toy boat drowning sketch. It's a follow up to animal, to Big Fat Roger the elephant. This is how can you follow Big Fat Roger the elephant, this is how can you follow Big Fat Roger the Elephant, Daddy Mommy Mommy Toy Bolt Drowning sketch. Okay. So they're trying to get her to remember this and then they're like, you know, everyone,

oh, these are your dad, your mom, and this is you, this is you. And then she freaks out and picks up a Skeletor beast and shows it to him. And then smashes it into the boat. Like try to explain Skeletor killed my family. Skeletor attacked our boat. I have that exactly word for word in my notes. Skeletor killed her family. That's exactly what I have too. There is no other conclusion to draw from that.

Why did you get a Skeletor? I don't like, if the idea was that they bought the toys, they didn't just have them lying around. Okay, they get the animals and stuff. Why did he? He was like, I like that Skeletor. That was his own Skeletor. He had that Skeletor from earlier. Well, you've got to at least include the option because if you don't, she's going to skip right over all the people dolls and be like, no, there's no Skeletor here. I can't communicate what happened when Skeletor killed my family. Where's the other half of the power sword? Blast! It's missing! Oh, shit.

So Dale Arden, she interviews the guy that's trying to kill the wolf girl and he's trying to cover it up. He's like, no, no, no, we found that girl's dead body. Don't even worry about it. And she's like, in a dense area, eight miles downstream where she was cremated. She's like, okay, I'm pretty sure you're the Skeletor in this Skeletor killed the family situation. Skeletor says what? What?

Aha! Gotcha! Blast! Wolf girl is like getting it together from like reenacting her family's death and she lays her head on her only human friend. She finds comfort in Manimal's lap like so many before her. Now, this is, I guess, what we're trying to solve. We got to figure out if this guy really is Skeletor. Also, the show's kind of weird, so we kind of do a Mr. Mom thing where the Wolf Girl's doing laundry and she show's kind of weird. So we kind of do like a Mr. Mom thing where the, the Wolf Girl's like doing laundry and she makes like four

feet of bubbles and, uh, then she giggles and she escapes into it. And then like, Manimal comes in and like wrestles with her in the soap and she starts licking it off of him. And he's like, no, no, no, no, we shouldn't fuck. But like in that type of tone, yes. And he's like, nah, nah, come on. Not like, no, let me establish clear boundaries. He's like, come on, nah, that tickles.

Nah, I don't think we should fuck. I don't know. He plays that. There's a goofy scene where she starts licking him in the neck and he's like, no, that wolves, people don't groom each other like wolves saying like, she just thinks she's grooming. And then he makes a face to the camera like, oh, just got a boner.

Blast. And right after you right after you clearly explain, like this wolf girl has wolf brain and does not understand human consent. Whoops, motor time. No, manimal. No. Yeah. And it spills into the next scene because she's like trashing the kitchen, just like clowning around, still trying to fuck him, just like really aggressive sexually. And then gunmen come in, they knock out Manimal, they chloroform her and-

How did they knock out Manimal? Did you write that down? Because I wrote that down. Okay. What does this have in your notes? It's a broad forearm chop to the shoulder that knocks him unconscious for several hours. I had knockout bunk. Yeah. Okay, wait, does Mandel have carpet in his kitchen though?

Yes, I think he does. I'm pretty sure he had like dark carpet in his kitchen, which is an insane decision to have. I don't know if that was common in the 80s or not, but it's like you're just asking for wolf girl pistons at that point. Yes, I think he is asking. I wonder if you could, like if you were to lay down on your carpet as a manimal

and transform into a panther, could you pretend like, imagine that as your clothes, the carpet as your clothes, would you take it off the floor and get nice hardwood floors after you turn into the panther? Strip it off. I love questions about the technicality. This is like the modern Manimal IDW comics reboot

where they get into all of that stuff. And actually, Manimal is the most powerful superhero of all time because he can absorb matter. Exactly. He's like a plastic man. I guess if you think about it, it's crazy powerful, right? If you've wrapped someone in like an extra, extra large robe, and then you also get in the robe with them and turn into a manimal, are they part of the hawk with you? Could you transport them?

Yeah, I would say that you have to turn into like a centaur or a minotaur or something with a double hawk. A hawk tar. Yeah. Yeah, a hawk tar would be fine. Yeah, I'm going to A hawk tar. Yeah. Yeah, a hawk tar would be fine. Yeah, I'm going to search a hawk tar real quick. Wait, don't. Don't do that. OK, so they go to the dock where they think that they took her out on the sea.

And I have some excellent acting here. I took a little clip of what the girl from Flash Gordon says. Oh, no. Pfft. That's it. acting here. I wanted to take a little clip of what the girl from Flash Gordon says. There's a part I really like here where they need a boat. So they find a bikini photo shoot of like a couple of ladies taking pictures and like they don't know what's happening. Like get the fuck off the boat. We need to go save a wolf girl's life. And they're like, we are taking bikini shots. And like, it's all they know. The only thing they know is posing. So even after they pulled several of them off the boat, one girl still left just posing for a photographer that's no longer taking pictures. Because, again, someone wrote this scene and they're like, these are bikini photograph girls and this is the only thing they know. It's very strange is my point.

I think that how I took it is that they're so pretty they can't hear things that aren't pretty from not pretty people. We're told in the text that Manimal is handsome. I don't know if I agree with it, but like in this world he's meant to be handsome. That's true. Yeah, I mean, he's, you know, British and that was worth a lot in the 80s, I think, if you had all your teeth, right? But yeah, it's just so weird how they don't respond at all. Sexy like they she yells, commandeering your boat. And he's and he yells

to the models, give me sexy. And then he should start stealing the boat. And he's like, yeah, yeah, give me, give me hot. And then she starts riding away on the boat, like being dragged away by strangers and is still posing and only like reluctantly falls off the boat. Like they just saw the bottom of the bay posing the whole time. She's still down there. Her skeleton. Like they're in a different see your ass and her side boob in the same shot. They're in a different movie and refuse to acknowledge that this this show is happening to them.

Like, no, we're in Party Bikini Babes Speedboat 4. You get out. You're the one that's wrong. This is not your universe. That's I think that's what it is. I think we solved it. So the bad guy's plan is now to just dump her body in the ocean. They're going to put her in a big crate and dump the crate into the ocean. There's a real fucked up thing where one of the guys says to the main bad guy, he goes, don't worry, Mr. Langley, the ocean never gives up, it's dead. I mean, super hardcore, but also famously not true.

Yeah, exactly. Like, yeah, it sounds really cool. And then you think about it for like more than a second and it's like, wait, no, that's not true at all. Yeah, does that all the time. People can see you. Yeah, yeah. Those people, those bikini photoshoot people, it seems like they're not like, experiencing the world like you or I, but like they can still see you. Like, have you heard of the term washing up? Like to wash something up somewhere? Because that happens.

something up somewhere because that happens. What I have a problem with is that he's covering up a decades old crime of the time he as Skeletor killed a family in India by doing 70 more felonies right in broad daylight while people are chasing them. I feel like he could have gotten out of this whole thing by just going like, I swear, I do not know who this girl is. I just don't know what you're talking about. Why would I know who this wolf girl is? The whole time too, like the hitman that he's got trying to kill her, he's like, don't you understand? And hitman's like, I don't. Like I really do not. But my job is to kill people,

not to understand why you want them dead. So as long as I'm getting paid, but like, it doesn't make any sense. Yeah, he's just like, you know, if he had been slightly more convincing as a liar, it would have been fine. Earlier when they revealed that he was looking for I was like, okay, she's like, the heir to a fortune that he got. Yeah, yeah, sure. Yada yada your way there. But it's not even that. He's, he just thinks this nonverbal wolf monster is going to finger him for a crime he committed two decades ago while she was four. It was his partner, the father that died, her father. So he now has half of the company. Okay, he has all the company and if she comes back, she'll she'll get half of the company, which isn't how any of that works. That was the plot.

get half of the company, which isn't how any of that works. So that was the plot. That was the plot. But it's not. I assumed that was going to be the plot and they never said it. I get so distracted by the complications of Manimals Transformation. No, but it still doesn't really make a lot of sense. No, it doesn't make any amount of sense. Also what doesn't make sense is that as they put her, their plan is to put her into a crate,

like just a big wooden crate, hammer it shut and throw it in the ocean, which is about as crude as a murder can possibly. It's like hitting someone with a stick. You can't be worse at murder than this. She's not even dead yet. They haven't even done the murder yet. No, no, they're gonna drown her. But they look up,

they see that Manimal and the police lady are after them, look like they exchanged looks and then they're like, fuck it, put her in the ocean anyway, so that they can watch us try to murder her. And then they gun the boat like, now we're just going to take off. Yeah. And they're like, you know, the bad guys like, oh, is there enough weight in there? The other guy's like, don't worry about it. It'll fill up with water and then sink. Is that how water works with wooden boxes? Is that how wood notoriously would specifically works? Yes. If we're being generous, there was some weights somewhere, maybe we didn't see them,

but yeah, like this would just move there for the rest of maybe. I don't think they know how crime works. In the logic of the show, they could have thrown her in the water and said, hey guys, we took care of that wolf girl for her and not got in trouble. She's not a human, by the standards of the people in this world. I think they think... Like a $500 fine for killing a dog? Right, like they think... They think that if they succeed at the crime,

then it's okay, then you get away with it. So like if they can just finish pushing her, then it's fine and they'll get away, but they have to get it done. God, this guy is just, he's having the worst day. Like he is just, his plans are all falling apart. He's got a manimal after him. Did you, did you happen to take a clip of, look, there's a shark? I didn't.

That makes me crack in the fuck up. There's a shark and it's not manable. There's's a shark. I didn't. That makes me crack in the fuck up. There's a shark. It was pretty funny. And it's not manable, there's just a shark. No, they push her into the bay, and then manable's in pursuit, and his friend Ty just leans out and goes, look, there's a shark.

The shark's just coming to hang out. He loves crates. He's like, what you got in that crate? I got a crate shark. So the crate falls all the way to the bottom of the ocean. I don't know how deep it is. I think of the ocean is very deep when you get out this far, but maybe not. Manimal transforms into a dolphin.

This transformation happens entirely off camera. We don't get to see the animorph of it. They didn't pay Stan Winston to animate that one. Right. Also, I genuinely have no fucking idea what's going on. If you had a gun to my head, I would say two sharks are kind of swimming next to each other. But I think what's supposed to be happening is the dolphin is headbutting the shark away.

The dolphin headbutts the shark to death, which for a guy that loves animals so much and can turn into any animal, could have turned into like a killer whale, like a giant squid or something. He didn't have to headbutt a shark to death if you really love animals. Like you could have just drove it off somehow.

Right, use your sonar to try it. I feel like a dolphin is the slowest way to headbutt something to death. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. With the little tiny rounded nose, that's like killing someone with a spoon. Yeah. He could have done a parrotfish or electric eel. There's a lot of more efficient ways to kill a shark. Anyway, he frees the wolf girl after beating the shark with dolphin head butts. They swim up. They really did this. They filmed a woman swimming with a trained dolphin, which is just an incredible stunt for the cheap ass bullshit the rest of the show was. They all laugh while he does his silly dolphin stunts, like in celebration. Like, I just fucking killed that shark. Hell yeah. Look at this flip. When she comes out of the water, she's bare ass naked, right? Is she wearing like, anything under the under manamals like t-shirt?

Or dress shirt? I don't know. I wrote down how the fuck did they do this? How did they have in 1983 TV a woman get out of the water? Well, the resolution was so low that, I mean, you couldn't really tell. That's true, I guess. Yeah, but in 1983, that was way more than enough for us. That's true. Oh, for sure. Anyway, I don't know why I had that in my notes. I know why. Yeah, I got it. Yeah, you get it. You get it. You know, you know, I got a know why I had that in my notes. I know why. I got it. Yeah, you get it.

You get it. You know, I got a thing for this wolf girl. So they cut back and the wolf girl can now see herself in the mirror. She recognizes herself as a human. I have a clip of this actually. It's very powerful. Yes. Yes, that's your face.

Yes, that's you face. Yes, that's you smiling. You. Sarah. Sarah. How's it going? Great. You've been at it all morning. At last she recognized who she is. Now all we have to do is put the face with the name.

Sarah... Curl. Yes. Sarah... girl. Yes. Sarah... girl. By George, I think she's got it. You're in trouble now, bro. Sarah... girl. Yes. So, here's a question.

Here's a very important question. Why as soon as she learns to talk, does Ty say, you're in trouble now? Yeah, she's gonna tell everyone what he did. What they did. I can't take it another way. I lick. He licks. You did what?

Like, hey, okay. Well, no, that's good. You don't need to. Just Sarah. We can stop now. Lick! Heedless! You did what? Like, hey! No, no, that's good. You don't need to... Just Sarah.

We can stop now. Dongbait! Dongbait! I've been so trained by the happy ending freeze frame to expect the Jackie Chan montage of stunt people that died that just... I expected all of the animations of him to just fall off buildings. They did kill that one shark, but... The one shark.

Just the freeze frame of the shark being dragged away into an ambulance while it gives a weak thumbs up. Hard to believe that woman never acted again. What a lost talent. So, why... Hey, why did we cover Manimal? Why did we cover one weird episode of Manimal, Chom? I am so glad you asked. Merritt, why don't you explain?

Well, I mean, first of all, we never mentioned this, but Renny Santoni, who is Poppy in Seinfeld, is a police officer in this show, which delighted me to see RIP. That's why we did it. That's why we did it. That's why we did it. R.I.P. Poppy. He got sloppy.

We all love his anti-abortion stance. Great character. Okay, so Minimal is created by Lenny Larson. It was written by Michael Burke and a bunch of other people, including Douglas Schwartz. This episode specifically is a Burke and Schwartz

joint. This came out in 1983. And a few years later, Michael Burke and Douglas Schwartz created a show called The Wizard, which is about a man named Simon McKay, who is a genius and inventor. And there's an episode of that show called Endangered Species, which is the same episode. It's the same as Femille of the Species with some very minor differences. And you might think, okay, well, you know,

they're just trying to, you know, milk an idea. It's fine. They had a couple ideas left. A few years later, you know, they get their own show. They're like, hey, why don't we do that thing we did on Minimal? 1994, Hulk Hogan stars in Thunder in Paradise. Michael Burke and Douglas Schwartz are all so involved

in the creation of that series. They do it again. It's again, and it's the same thing. It's the same thing. Ten years after Manimal, they do this 11 years, they do the same thing, which is insane. Three episodes, like there's no way, right? That's the most it could possibly be.

You could like you do the same thing three times in 10 years on three different shows. I'm glad. Obviously, the conversation's over. There's no way they did it a fourth time. There's 2000. There's a show called Sheena, which is an adaptation of a comic book called Sheena Queen of the Jungle. And they did it again. They do it again. First of all, that show is about a jungle lady in itself.

So they did a double jungle lady in the show. They did a jungle in a jungle. They did a jungle in a jungle. Oh, no, wait, wait. And Sheena, it's a jungle dude, isn't it? Like they did a gender swap. Yes. Also in the Hulk Hogan show in Thunder in Paradise, it's a jungle boy.

Yeah. So there are they do do minor gender swap differences because they're like, oh, I mean, if we did it exactly the same people would know. So we have to make, you know, this concessions. But they tell the same story four times over the course of four different shows over the course of two decades. Like it's the only story they wanted to tell over and over again. Right. And eventually they get so big because in between, in between Wizard, Thunder Paradise, and Sheena, they were also the people that created Baywatch, which at the time became a billion dollar franchise.

It's one of the most successful shows in the world. What do they do with all that clout, all that money, all that creative freedom? They make fucking Sheena for UPN? For no money. It's a cheap exploitation show. They didn't have to do that. They were just still so passionate. They're like, finally, we get to make a whole show just about a feral girl who is at odds with society. And you know what we got to do in this show? Another episode about her finding a feral boy in the jungle. And the exact same plot happens. You know what we should do? For the rest of the year, let's just explore these guys exploring this idea. Maybe just one episode.

I'm excited to talk about that. At this point, Merritt and I have watched all of the other episodes. Sean had to really just deep dive on this one to prep for the podcast. So Sean doesn't yet understand what's about to happen to him. And we'll check back, remember this, we'll check back and see what Sean is just gonna be like, what the fuck happened? Is that, are you fucking serious? I was not prepared for it to be like this because you're not prepared for it to be like this. You will not fucking believe what happens in these episodes. And I'm excited to explore what changes when you tell a story, the exact same story, when your protagonist is a manimal, a little person toy genius working for the government, and Hulk Hogan and his borderline sentient speedboat friend. You adapted the same story for all of those things. It's fucking fascinating. What changes? It's

even crazier. What doesn't? I can't wait. I'm so excited for you to watch all of these because just the one is fine and it kind of makes sense. But by the time you see it the third time, it's like, this is like the Ur-Myth of humanity. It's like, this is it. They don't want to do a lot of work. So the things that the links that they go to to try to use this same episode, it's it's the Marge's fancy dress episode of The Simpsons, where they're just fucking butchering it by the end of it.

You're like, let it die. Let it go. You can't do it. You can't. Man, it can't be done. You can't turn a manimal into a Hulk Hogan speedboat! It can't happen! Correct? Yeah! The craft is not trapped, it's not empty! Send it to the Honda Zone, for an hour! Come on, you know the number! 1900 1900 Frankfurt

1900 New York 1900 Frankfurt 1900 1900 Frankfurt 1900 New York Yeah! 9000! It's supreme day here on Hot Dog Prime, the day where all hot dog denizens stand tall and proudly salute the heroes who made the ultimate sacrifice in our never-ending meat war against the vile burger race. Aaron Crosston

Adrian H Aidan Mouat Alex Nolenberg who held on to a grenade too long. That's a lesson for you new recruits. If you love something, like a hand grenade, gotta let it go. AlphaScientistJavo UnAndy Armando Nava Grenade. Gotta let it go. Alpha Scientist Javo Unandy Armando Nava Benjamin Sironin died from flamethrower wounds

received at the Platoon Barbeque, but let the record show his hot dogs were cooked to perfection and in record time. Bim Talzer Brandon Garlok Brian Saylor Burrito Serrell Chase Clementi Danger never opened his parachute. He's convinced you don't take fall damage if you land on the enemy. We applaud the sentiment, even as we mourn the result.

Greg Lemoy Quavis Dan B Daniel Sloane. Devin the Rogue Supreme. David Schull. Dean Costello. Delta Foxtrot found out his own wife was a burger and turned her in without a second thought. Some say he died when the SWAT dogs raided his house. We know it was really a broken heart.

Drayson. Dusty's rad title. Eric Riard. Every zig. Fancy shark. Gareth tried teen-wolfing a burger tank. Tried. I do dishonor to the man, he teen-wolfed that burger tank.

It still counts if you crash it into a lake. Jell-o-ho. Good Satan and his Hot Witches. Greg Cunningham. Ham-bone. Haraka died from potato poisoning. Just regular old potato poisoning. Wash those potatoes, no job too small.

Harvey Benguini. Honk. Jaber Al-Aden. James Bord. Jared Mountain Mad. Jeff Oreski fatally crashed the Dodge Hyper Challenger he bought with his signing bonus. How many good soldiers will we lose to the Dodge Hyper Challenger? Jim Salter. John Deeb, John McCammon, John Minkoff,

Joseph Searls, Josh Hess, Joshua Graves, Justin Beed, K&M. Kumutsus was hollowed out and had his animated corpse used as a honey pot trapped by the burgers. Remember to wrap those wieners, hot dogs. Kyle Campbell Lisa M. Jahi Chapelle Mark Mahoney Matt Riley butt-dialed an air strike on himself at a gender reveal party. It's a girl, and she's already enlisted to avenge

her daddy. Max Baroi. Michael Dillon. Michael Lehr. Mickey Lohman. Mike Stiles. Moju. Mort is actually a burger who saw the freedoms and benefit packages we offer and was won over. Don't shoot the skinny burger in the long bun. He's on our side. Mr. Bob Gray. Indeed. Neil Bailey. Neil Shaffer.

Neku 104 held a machine gun nest against a 4,000 strong burger horde, only to die of diabetes at this very award ceremony. Proper nutrition isn't just a good idea. It's your duty. Ozzy Olu Patrick Herbst Rachel Rhiannon Sarkovsky hollowed out a sexy burger and climbed inside to use it as a honey pot trap. It worked a little too well, but good initiative, soldier. Sean Chase. Spotty reception.

Supernaut. Tethage. Thomas Kvartos. Timmy Leahy knows if you see two buns, you start shooting. It's a tragedy what happened at that hunk convention, but vigilance is always market price. Tommy G. V price. Tommy G. Velo. Booster. Waylon Russell.

Zack and Ava both simultaneously choked to death on Footlongs, but that was one hell of a USO show, wasn't it, dogs? And finally, Hot Dog Prime hereby posthumously bestows the medal of misguided valor on Sergeant Ken Paisley, who died in a kamikaze run on a burger nest. It turned out it was just an old pizza hut, there shaped a lot alike. Remember cadets, if it's flat and cheesy say pizza pleasey, if it's beefy and round, you bomb it to the ground.