The Dogg Zzone by 1900HOTDOG - Dogg Zzone 9000 - Episode 177, Road House With William Sellari

Episode Date: May 29, 2024

Seanbaby enters the octagon with Brockway and guest, William Sellari, only to get the holy shit beat out of them by the new Road House movie. WATCH ME PULP YOUR FACE.

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It's by far more joy than you'd normally get for a few dollars. I am enduring World Web legend Sean Baby from the internet, and my co-host is BulgeBuster's runner-up for Mr. Wow 2018. He's Robert Brockway. You know what? I deserved that runner-up. God bless you, the winner. You deserved that one. Here's a Brockway fact. Unless you the winner. You deserved that one. Here's a Brockway fact. Connor McGregor and I shopped for clothes the same way. No follow-up questions.

I think I know what you mean. Way too small from a person you just beat to death. Yeah, I get it. Our returning guest is a director, filmmaker, and five-time full Mr. Wow, William Solari. Well welcome back. Ah, thanks guys. Thanks for having me back. Always a pleasure.

I sort of jumped on this chance though because I watched the film we're going to discuss today with like, I don't know, 15 different people on and off and I couldn't get to the bottom of how it was making me feel and I was like, there's really only two people in this earth that are going to understand me. We're going to solve it today. We've both watched it several times. We watched it as part of the Discord events that you should sign up to 1-900-HOTDOG for. I had a great time.

Everybody is on the same page of like, this fucking rules. That's not right. Yeah, how? Yeah. How is this the one that fucking worked? Did you guys see the knockdown? Is that the one with the rock? Yeah, and Christopher Walken and the guy from it makes me uncomfortable in the same way that did. Do you mean the rundown? Maybe the rundown. Yeah, yes, I did see that. With the with the whole Easter bunny or tooth fairy

speech. And Ernie Rice Jr. was in that. Yeah, you're like, this movie understands what it is, but does it? Right. And that's what I got from watching Roanelle's. I agree. I also like that Jake Gyllenhaal's acting decisions kind of don't, they don't quite make sense, but then they do. It's really hard to get a handle on him, but then you get him and you're like, I think

I'm on board. I don on board. I don't know, he plays it like he's on the spectrum. And then sometimes you're like, no, no, no, he's just like a dick. And then you're like, no, no, no, he's just a loose carefree guy. But I don't know. I think it's entirely possible that everyone is actually just playing themselves. With the exception of Conor McGregor, who you only know is acting because he's fucking badass.

See, I think he's playing himself too. He's just doing a voice. He shouldn't be doing the voice. Although, you know what? I even think the voice works after watching this. Like I saw, I remember seeing trailers for this and like Conor McGregor came on doing weird squeaky baby leprechaun voice.

And I'm like, what the fuck is he doing? Yeah. What is he doing? Yeah. What is he doing? But he is supposed to be a chaos pixie in this. He's, he's Honda Michaels. He's just here to break everything. And when you need a broken. Yeah, I think I put it in my notes that he, you know,

while it sounds cliche, he's like a leprechaun on like bear cum and cocaine. Like he's just a tornado of like fiery red pubes. And like a- He's like a, he's a fey curse. Here's what I think happened. I think they made Crank 3 starring Conor McGregor and they're like, this fucking sucks.

Let's take the best 40 seconds of this and just squeeze it into this Jake Gyllenhaal vehicle we have and then- God, that's uncanny. That's exactly, he is in, he is the star of Crank 3 in this movie. And Cr God, that's uncanny. That's exactly he is in he is the star of crank three in this movie and crank three, the entire movie so much happens to him off screen that is just like never mentioned. And then he occasionally shows up to this movie like, Whoa, sorry, I crashed through the wrong wall. I'm supposed to be somewhere else on a different adventure. Hey,

I'm gonna hit you. Yeah. Well, again, and if you know, as art imitates life, if you told me that that was true and that it was a biography on McGregor, I would believe it because crank three, I think is how you describe like everything Conor McGregor post his boxing match. Like it is just a series of like cocaine binges and steroids till the finish line. And major whimsical disasters. Yeah, this is a real story about Conor McGregor. I'm an MMA fan, so I follow Conor McGregor. He's a great fighter and a complete psychopath.

And so he was before this fight, he wanted to intimidate his opponent, so he flew over a bunch of his thug friends from Ireland. And they menaced the UFC bus. And no one is really reacting to it the way he wanted. So he picked up a wooden pallet and threw it at the bus shattering a window and like scratching up the corneas of one of the other fighters

completely unrelated to his drama. And so he had to pull out of the fight. And so here's Conor McGregor just like, fucking up an entire UFC card with just criminal outbursts. Uh, because he doesn't like have a handle on, I'm an intimidating fighter versus like I'm a complete maniac psychopath. Yeah. It's like, he never understood that like in the WWF, uh, even as a heel, things are scripted, like they didn't actually run over the undertaker with that car.

He's just like, Oh, bad guys run over people with cars. And so he does it in real life for the same effect. But again, it's real life. Yeah, there was a moment in the scene as an ultimate fighter where Uriah Faber is like, I'll fight you Connor. And he's not as good as Connor. He'd probably lose, of course. But instead of saying like, you're not good enough to fight me. Like, haha, I'm a cocky asshole. He's like, I kill you stone dead. And like, nobody knew how to react to that What specifically outside the ring at your house tonight? I'll beat you to death. I'll follow your corpse home. I kill your whole family. It's too far man. What the fuck? Yeah, he took it from reality television just to fucking Twitter and I think he's just the undisputed

You know challenge everyone who wins a fight or has any kind of notoriety in MMA now on Twitter. I don't think they made him audition for this. I think they just saw him on Twitter and were like... Oh fuck, no they didn't make him audition. I've never even seen this man fight, but based on his Twitter feed, he's perfect. Telling you, they just told him they were filming Crank 3, followed him around the camera, swat that. No, that's 100% what happened. Crank 3 intersects this movie at like four locations, and that's it. Well, and it's Amazon too, so you know there has to be like

some kind of tracking algorithm, and they're like, this guy posts something crazy every 45 seconds on average, and so they're like, sign him up. Yep. All right, this was your idea to do the movie, Will, and I think it's great, I think it was an easy yes, because it's Brockway's favorite movie. We see modern reboots all the time and they

never fucking work. And this feels like it not only worked, but it kind of feels linked to the original movie and in a in a weird way, in a spiritual way. Yeah, in a spiritual spiritually linked. Even though it's very different. Obviously, Patrick Swayze was like, like a Zen bouncer expert. Yeah. And in this one, Jake Gyllenhaal seemingly has never worked in security, like at all, like he's just an MMA fighter. We find out kind of as things go on that he's just good at everything effortlessly, but we don't know how or why. know how or why. I don't think that's true. See, watching the movie, I got the sense that he was very confident, possibly because he just doesn't want to live anymore and doesn't have like any sense of stakes throughout this movie. He's very confident about his decisions,

but if you watch the movie, they're almost all wrong. Like, people will be destroying the entire bar and he's just like, he's the expert security and he's just watching it. And then somebody will like knock over a drink and be like, okay, that was the thing that was too far. No, he like killed a guy on the dance floor and you were like, that's fine. Sure. Yeah, he's discovering Cuban coffee while bouncers are about to lose their lives in the bar that he's supposed to be working security.

Like I think this is what would happen if you hired somebody with no actual security experience but like an MMA fighter and we're just like, you are really tough, you must be good at this. And then after a day, you're like, that was really wrong. That was really incorrect to me. I don't know why I thought that. Yeah. See, I think this is his like unsaid superpower in this thing. I think he has a, no adrenaline response to anything. So that's his first thing. And then the second thing is it's very clear that he wants to die. And I think that like, I think he's just annoyed the entire movie. He's kind of like one punch man with the suicide wish, like he just wants someone to kill him. Why can't you kill me?

It can't. You never pan out. I got a lot of like Flash Gordon vibes from him and that he's his main superpowers are white privilege and dumb luck. And like that really that I mean, those are very powerful superpowers. Yeah, yeah. Speaking personal experience. Again, I think there's a funny parallel. If you think about this movie, both, you know, when I was originally talking to you, Brock, about it, it was like, you know,

there has to be a Dalton in every universe. And so there's this weird multiverse of roadhouses. But then also, maybe this is another Donnie Darko like spin off. There has to be a Dalton in every universe. And so there's this weird multiverse of roadhouses. But then also maybe this is another Donnie Darko like spin-off. Like this is what happens. This is this is a sequel to Donnie Darko where he doesn't die. He gets into fighting to like feel something again and then you know, spoiler, kill someone and now is trying to again desperately, you know, feel something or die.

He just woke up in his own body but huge huge and it's like I guess I cut out Yeah, that was crazy. I guess I have to do Pilates on a boat I love the opening in this movie because it opens with Post Malone Like as an underground fighter who very specifically did not get in shape for this role Can we pause real quick here? And I just wanna I just want to clarify for everyone at home who has not yet seen this movie Sean's not being dismissive of of the way a dumb guy looks. It's actually Post Malone.

That scans as a joke every time someone tells me. It's Karl Raphord. It's the real Post Malone. Yeah, it's actually him. What's amazing is it starts with that weird kind of... It establishes that weird action CG they have throughout the whole movie, which is sort of like Mike Tyson's Punch-Out. But instead of like Little Mac beating the shit out of King Hippo, it's Post Malone and they've done no CG to him.

Like Post Malone in that movie looks like like minus the tattoos looks like what I would like when I'm like at a fucking karaoke bar when I should have left like three hours ago. It's just like taking your shirt off. Yeah, exactly. Just like taking mics from people who are singing and just, and also bleeding being like, ah, who's next? I'm next. Like, no, and again, it's completely invincible. Of course. Yeah. And I think it's at the like double deuce, right? Like it's from the original,

it feels like they're in the original Roadhouse. You mentioned how like, I guess, deliberate the fight scenes look and how like non CGI is. This is directed by Doug Liman. He did swingers and Edge of Tomorrow, a bunch of eclectic movies, but he also did Born Identity, which very famously has like the shaky, like I can't tell what the fuck is going on fight scenes. And I don't know if this is like an insecure reaction to the feedback he got from that, but like everything in this movie is so deliberate. Like it's almost like a pro wrestling movie where it's like,

I'm punching this guy right here and it looks exactly like this. It's something about I really like. I really felt like this movie was, especially the video effects and all the CG and stuff, was very much done by people who grew up playing games. Like there's no two ways about it. There's like that bullet time where it's like, hit X now, hit triangle for, for you know like the uppercut like it all feels like you're playing through like a double dragon like shim you game that happens in fucking could explain Jake Gyllenhaal's kind of attitude like he has played this many times before and so now he knows all of these events and he's just like I'm not I'm not gonna respond until that guy breaks the glass I know that's when I press the button he's going for

alternate endings exactly he's going for every trophy and every achievement. Jake Gyllenhaal's New Game Plus. Yeah, Post Malone's beating the shit out of people. And I love that Post Malone has like a tattoo. I don't know if this is, I hope this is real life. And I'm also okay if it was a choice for this movie, but he's got a tattoo on his back of a subway car just wrecking. Just, you know, because that's what you do. And a subway sandwich on his chest. It's a theme. The first thing I heard, I heard you say subway card, like with eight punches tattooed on his back.

And he just gets a new one every sandwich. Just put it right here. Which would be a fantastic card or tattoo as well. Love that. And it feels like old UFC fights, or like those freak show fights too. And I liked this about it, where it's just like one out of shape guy beating the shit out of a big guy. Like, you can't really quite make sense of the fight because you're like, well that guy's like 800 pounds and that other guy, you know, but again, it's got that nice, like there's no rules, there's no weight limits and let Post Malone go. And he's wearing jeans. I love that too.

Right. He's also taking randoms from the crowd, which I just don't think you can do anymore. Like, because even a small town has got like at least one MMA gym where any of the better guys there will have a chance of especially fucking up Post Malone. You know what I mean? We don't live in a world anymore where you can just say to a bar of a hundred people, I could beat anyone up here. Like it's, you probably can't. This sort of brings up a really, a thing that I kept feeling like was either just super bad writing or intentional or maybe, you know, again, is like duets or any movie that like takes a genre from reality or it's a genre, it's a specific type of genre film where like they take something from reality and blow it so out of proportion that it's in a universe

that doesn't exist anymore. Like over the top in arm wrestling. Everyone is way into fighting in this and everyone's so fucking angry. We actually talked about Roadhouse on a podcast themed around that with duets. And over the top. And over the top. Yes, all three of those together because they all fit that theme. And it was all about just how these universes exist centered around one thing that is actually not the center of the universe.

Yeah. Yeah. Well, hackers. Hackers. Cocktails, like they're all very much, and it's got that same feel because again, there's a lot of people in that bar. And I get maybe they're out in the middle of Missouri or wherever, and there's nothing. And that's like just the local thing. they're out in the middle of Missouri or wherever and there's nothing.

And that's like just the local thing. But then they're also if you look at that crowd, it's like 90 percent dudes. And again, when they finally get to Key West, it's like 90 percent dudes that live in that world. And I have a feeling that this is just a world devoid of women and just full of everybody being fucking mad all the time. That's what happens if there's no ladies around. It is Kansas. That is Kansas. It's Kansas.

Jake Gyllenhaal is running this grift where he shows up just cut to fucking shreds and he's like, I'll take the fight against the guy who will take all challengers. And then Postmo is like, I'm not fighting him. And it kind of seems cowardly. We find out maybe an hour later in the movie that it's not. Obviously, you should probably watch the movie before you listen to the podcast. But we find out much, much later in the movie that you listen to the podcast, but we find out much, much later in the movie that Jake Gyllenhaal is A, a UFC champion, and B, murdered

his good friend in the ring with punches. So everyone's legitimately scared of him, not only because he'd fuck him up, but you might die. Well, and I like that there's this moment between Post Malone beating up number six and then them trying to egg on the audience for number seven, and then you know, them, you know, trying to egg on the audience for number seven. And the guy goes, it's winter take y'all y'all just a bucket, a bucket of money. That's what you're fighting for as Jake Gyllenhaal walks in.

I won't bucket money. It feels kind of like Reacher where some people fuck with them where you're like, do you not know what you're doing here? So some guy comes up, he's like, Hey, you just lost me a bunch of money. And he stabs him and it does zero damage to Jake Dillon. Holly just like just no response is fucking zero to 60. Again, it's this like it's this like dark elder God universe where it's like it's like a fool who made all steroids.

And so everybody again, like I just lost a bunch of money. It's not like, hey, man, you owe me 500 bucks now. It's just, how am I going to get this back? I'm just going to stab a stranger. Just like that. It is. It does pay off because it establishes, you know, very early that this man cannot be killed by stabbing.

And as we will find out later in the movie, that's true. Yeah, they call it back. Yeah. This is actually a setup to another scene later. It's technically good writing. Agreed. I don't know if they meant it. It's a weird Jesus reference too.

Like that getting stabbed in the side and like, spoiler alert, but he ends up being this like proverbial like whipping boy for everywhere he goes. Like our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. So Jessica Williams runs a bar and she's there to find a super bouncer. She needs a super bouncer. She needs a super bouncer and in Patrick Swayze's universe this was a super bouncer required like a combination of charisma and strategy and observation but here you just you want the best pit fighter. Whoever fucking beats up the most doughy guys in it. When she tries to hire him she

doesn't even realize he's immune to stabbing. Like imagine. Such a bonus bonus what a great decision because he tries to tell her after she realizes like oh no you've been stabbed are you okay and he's like yeah I'm fine this is that I don't get stabbed no it's fine and then he's like go get post below and I don't want to do it she's like no no you're immortal yes I'm gonna get you yeah she she wants the guy who's the foil to the entire world that they live in, which again is like the fucking comment section of any like news page. Like it's that angry and she finally finds the guy who doesn't have this like, you know, just urged to kill anything he sees.

Kill or fuck anything he sees. He can kill and he's kind of a hulk, I guess, because the only thing that is really a danger to Jake Dillon Hall is if he gets so angry that he wants to kill people, because then he'll kill people. But that's literally the only stakes of the movie is that like, oh, I hope they don't make Jake Gyllenhaal mad or he'll win too fast. Oh, when we get to that, when that finally arrives, I think that is, I think maybe this is the genius of the movie and where I can't like, yeah, we'll get to it soon. But I think

that that is where like it turns for me. I'm like, okay, this is yes. Uh, this part's weird, though, because after he gets this job offer, he turns it down, but something about it hurts him. And he's like, I was a world champion once. And now I'm getting a job offer as a bouncer in Florida. It's time to kill myself. So he drives onto the train tracks and just parks, he's gonna end it. Well, because because getting stabbed didn't make him feel anything. So, you know, what's next? I love that you can interpret it a lot of ways, but he decides, nope, I'm not gonna do it. He tries to drive off the tracks, doesn't quite make it, which is a fantastic choice, because now his car just gets sideswiped by a train. Again, no damage. Proving he's immune to train strikes. He's immune to train and knife. He goes to a small town, a glass key, and here comes this little girl narrative device who's like, hi, we're a folksy hometown and you're in a Western movie. They don't come right out and say, hey, we're doing a Magnificent Seven, but it's closer

to that than a Yo Jimbo. Yeah, she's very Pollyanna and even like quasi Lolita in that sort of Natalie Portman from Beautiful Girls kind of way, where she's just like a little too street smart. A little too sassy. You know, summing up the movie for you for people who couldn't follow what was going on. I also like that Dalton shows up there because he's like, well, I tried to kill myself and that didn't work out.

You know, the only next lowest thing I can do is go to Florida. I think that's on the billboards welcoming you to the state. And again, this is a weird point about that movie too, which like Key West is not the rough and tumble town I think of when I think of Florida. Like has this movie been in like, Florida Bama? You know what I mean? You'd be like, yeah, of course. They're like Gator wrestling. But no, it's like a nice little bookstore with the sassy sassy girl running it. Yeah, sassy girl who writes books about a treat. You know what I mean? Like self self publishing is not what I think of when I think of a rough and tumble like western. I want to be clear, if you haven't seen the movie, she is kind of likeable. She's got a lot of agency

as opposed to in the last Roadhouse where Patrick Swayze ran into like the auto parts store guy who's just kind of a dead fish and like they kind of have a relationship because later in the movie when the bad guys like burn down the place Patrick Swayze you know that's what set him off and that's what Sakes sets Jake Gyllenhaal off later but she's she's much better than the auto parts guy from the first Roadhouse. I don't know she's easily she's easily the second best actor in this movie. Stan Red, Stan Red forever. Yeah, you like Red. Let's see, so, God, what next? They cut to the night where there's a band playing while the fight, while there's people on the floor just fighting for minutes.

Like people are jumping in and out. I don't even think it's a disagreement. I think this is just where the local bike club meets. And the bikers show up and been terrorizing the place and they're just outrageous dicks, instantly wrecking furniture, knocking over drinks, just bullies in a way that could not work in our reality because there's 40 guns in this bar and seven or eight of them would shoot them. The one again, that's, again, it's that, and I have the other theory is that like the

music is causing everyone to want to kill each other. Yeah. In that film, because literally every band in this this movie is it's like it's not like Jeff Healy, like from the first one. It's like it's just the like if you ask me what the crappiest thing I can think of is, I'm like, well, actual reggae covers of Sublime. And then it actually that's what's in the film. And so any time music's happening there, someone loses their shit for no reason and it's always these dudes with like button-up shirts without a little too far It's like they had one costume for the entire movie and everyone wears it and as soon as you see someone wearing that You know

They're gonna pull a knife break a bottle like try to fight a band someone's gonna be mad about that and then they're gonna fight And it never ends. You're right. The bands fucking suck about that and then they're gonna fight and it never ends. You're right, the bands fucking suck. They think that there's one band that does the Jesus, starts singing a Jesus song and like a guy stands up and he's like legitimately pissed about it. He's like, I want secular music. This is bullshit. I mean, he's got a point.

I agree. Like, this is not the music you would play in a bar is what this man is saying. He's standing up and saying, excuse me, I don't believe this is the correct venue for this. Also, going to stab you. Yes. I think the band member even said, this is a very self-indulgent song that you're not going to enjoy. And then he said, no one's going to enjoy this, but this is really for us, which is why we're behind a cage. And I like that also that it's like, again, it's a little bit of a callback to the original, but like, it's not like a real cage. I mean, it's chicken wire. But it also gives them...

It helps a little bit with bottles, but like... They use it as a visual motif for like cage fighting, just to kind of like wink at the Conor McGregor fans. And I thought that was good filmmaking. Okay, so Jake Gyllenhaal is finally like, after they pretty much broke the entire bar, he's like, Hey, you bullies, let's go outside and they won't come. So he's like, I'm going to go fuck up your bikes and they come outside. I like the guy who shows up. And again, and sorry, Brock, if we get like to him and me about this, because I think

this guy was supposed to be Tito Ortiz. Okay. Like, I guess I can see that the the sort of like first mini boss, this guy Dell shows up and he again, he seems like Tito Ortiz, which got me thinking about that whole like goon squad that they have that comes to trash the bar. Like, yeah. And you know, and again, Dalton watches the entire bar get trashed with this sort of like, like adolescent like, like amusement, and then decides to like, like you said, like, oh, there's your bikes outside and they get into it. But again, I was looking at that gang and I was like thinking I was like, Oh, God, I gotta ask Sean, like, if you could have cast again, because I thought this guy was supposed to be Tito Ortiz. He'd be perfect casting.

Cast. Yeah, UFC fighters for that gang. I would have totally put Jason Knight in there because he was like, you know, he's like from Mississippi, right? And he's like, did bare knuckle boxing that has a face that looks like fucking hamburger. He would have been a great like crony George Massive at all because he's from Miami. Not Chuck Liddell. Chuck Liddell is who you cast if you got like a white supremacist prison gang. Yeah, exactly. He's to like, you know, Midwest. Chris Liebman sort of had that kind of like if we're thinking about like Swayze movies has that sort of point break.

But also like scary dirt bag. Like there's there's a few great choices. But Tito Ortiz is like, I don't think you could cast him as a hero. Like, that's I think what that's where you can only go wrong. I don't think you could ever. Yeah. But so he slaps down the entire biker gang. There's a line I really love here where Jake Gyllenhaal asks Jessica Williams

if there's a hospital nearby and he barely even finishes the word nearby before she goes, literally who gives a shit? It cracks me up every time. But anyway, he starts slapping the entire biker gang like a total dick. Like he'll slap me, he's like, oh, oh, did I slap you? Oh je geez. Oh, what happened? And it starts

with bitch slaps, it starts turning into volleyball spikes. And then he front kicks a guy. He like, hits one guy with a leg punch uppercut combo. He does a takedown that starts as a tie clinch. But then he just picks the guy up by his head and slams him. There's not even a name for it. If it was a judo throw would be called the Koshi fuck Yuma. It's, it's, it's, it's just grabs him and turns him sideways by his face. I love it. There's that weird self awareness, which again, I don't know if it's Jake Gyllenhaal's acting or

his approach to this, but like, you know, they go outside again, it goes from zero to 60. And he's like, I'm just asking you guys nicely to leave like with this like fucking oil of Olivia just being calm. And the guy goes, Oh, we'll leave after I fucking kill you. And Dalton's response is exactly the same response that I assume every viewer had where they're like, we just, we just went from here to there and zero time. And again, it's that, it's that I don't know why everyone in this movie, I don't know if it's bad writing or again, it's an alternate universe, but everybody has that same like, like when a libertarian gets pulled over and they're like, my Fourth Amendment rights,

fuck you. And they're like, hey, man, I was just gonna tell you your, your, your gas thing was open. He's like, no, fuck you, man. You can't arrest me for a 21 gun salute. Like it's that mentality about every single interaction between two men in this movie. From start to finish. I think it's because they're doing something, I mean, it's very clearly because they're doing something with toxic masculinity and how it devours you is the sort of theme behind this. And great to cast Conor McGregor in that movie. You have to address

Conor McGregor. Because it did eat you have to address Conor McGregor. Because it did eat him alive. When he was younger, he seemed kind of humble and nice. And then he just shows up to training in like $8,000 suits and says, hey, you fucking wieners, this is an $8,000. He's doing like the job. He would never believe you if you told him like,

this is a movie about the dangers of toxic masculinity. He'd be like, what are you talking about? I'm masculinity. He'd be like, what are you talking about? I'm sorry, he'd be like, what are you talking about? They know it's a movie about how fucking cool my dick is. This is a Thursday. Everybody is escalating because of toxic masculinity and like only Jake Gyllenhaal is the one man that is not affected by it.

And that makes him the most dangerous of all, which is a weird decision. Like, if you want to be truly dangerous. He's like, teenagers cut me off one time, were like, trying to fight me and all this kind of stuff. And like, I really tried to stay as calm as I could. I was like, oh, Kimmy, my friend in the car was like, you know, like, Harry, what are you going to do?

And I was like, man, like teenagers don't know shit. Like they don't, they don't, you don't understand like grown man strength until you're like, an adult and you get in a real fight. You're like, oh shit, this isn't like wrestling in the backyard or whatever. You fought, you fought men when you were a child. Yeah, exactly. Well, but my friend said a thing. He's like, you know, the thing about grown man strength is you go to grown

man jail. And it's like, again again Jake John Hall is the only one who understands this and there's that moment where he's fighting the gang where like you see him start you know it's kind of like again he does some cool like action movie shit where he you know he arm throws the guy or whatever else but then like when he's beating up Tito Ortiz like he's punching his head into gravel like over and over and you're like oh that's real violence like there's a difference between like performative like breaking a uh pool stick over an egg be like this place and like actually getting almost killed because some guy gave you like multiple concussions in the

park well i would argue that like you know obviously the bad guys are the toxic masculinity guys but like jake jillinhouse has a way that escal escalates it maybe worse than if the other guy like is puffing his chest out. Like he's he's so quietly contemptuous, like as if it's it's almost cute that you think you can take him in a fight. And it's like real, because obviously this guy's a way better fighter. But like, you kind of don't have a choice but to fuck him up if a guy's acting like that. Like he absolutely is not deescalating, I guess is my point. But he has like the illusion of it. It's like this fucking dick. God damn it, now I gotta fight you.

I threatened to kill you, you could have been like, we don't need to do that. Let's all head home. And then everyone gets to go home with their faces still attached. Yeah, now I gotta show you how far I can take this without actually killing you. But yeah, it's toxic in every direction and it's so funny to me.

There's a guy named Moe, Arturo Castro from Broad City, and he's just like this guy caught up in the biker gang that's so funny because he kind of tries to scrap a little, but he's apologizing while he's getting fucked up. It's adorable. He steals the entire movie. Yeah, he's definitely peer pressured into it. Later in the movie, he just says, I just wanted to ride motorcycles. It's such a He steals the entire movie. He's definitely peer pressured into it. Like later in the movie, he just says like, I just wanted to ride motorcycles. It's such a beautiful ride to him.

This got away from me. Yeah. I don't know what's happening. It's hard to meet people. There's a part I like. He drives him to the hospital because he is kind of a good guy. Jake Gyllenhaal does. Jake Gyllenhaal does.. And he takes him into the ER and he's telling them every single injury that he caused. He's this Sherlock Holmes bone wizard.

But we find out later, no, he's an idiot. He's probably wrong about every single one of these diagnoses. You know, there's another weird nod to this alternate world that they're in, because they're listening to Coco Mo in the car, which again, that cocktails, being another movie that just doesn't exist in real life. And yeah, when he gets in there and he's sort of explaining everything, like if,

if, I don't know, if Sadist brought in a bunch of people that he almost killed to an ER and was casually explaining to the nurse what you did to them, you would call the police. You would think, yeah. At no time you'd be like, oh man, I'm just gonna politely listen here while I press a panic button. Well again, that's not this universe. Exactly, this world, and what it leads to though is meeting your love interest. Yes.

Like not going to jail, not suffering any kind of consequences, it's how you meet the love of your life. Yeah, the hot doctor's like, I should call the cops, but she kinda accidentally falls in love with him, and he's just taking her abuse with this aw shucks attitude. And again, this is a big difference between, between how they play. Cause Swayze was very Zen and mysterious and like flirty and Jalen Hall is a

full and Zeno man. Like he, he almost don't think he has a sex drive for most of the movie. Well, and that's what's great about, you know, you say like he seems very on spectrum because like, it's like, he can't tell a lie. So she's like, Oh, you're just a rage filled dickhead who like hurts people, you know, for fun. He's like, actually seems very on spectrum. Cause like, it's like he can't tell a lie. So she's like, oh, you're just a rage filled dickhead who like hurts people for fun. He's like, actually it was for money. She's like, oh, like.

It's dantic. Is that better? Oh, well that's, that makes me very horny. Yeah, exactly. Well, that's fine then. God, he's already being stalked by the enforcers. I will skip ahead, I guess. He gets a home.

It's, he lives in a houseboat called The Boat. And they warn him about some kind of an ocean super croc, which fucking rules because it is real foreshadowing, not just some sort of red herring. But it's like 30 minutes into the movie and we finally see UFC footage. And it would be possible if this was your first time watching a movie that you would not know he was a pro fighter until now. Like, there's no evidence of it. He could have just been a traveling like karate maniac.

Well, this is also how you know that this is like Amazon money making this movie. Like aside from that, they probably paid Conor McGregor as much as they could have paid the entire like bare knuckle roster to be in this movie. Like Dalton walks out to enter Sandman, which is like the most obvious walkout song, but like never used because I'm sure it's like the fucking Beatles and Rolling Stones or whatever to license that is like astronomical. But again, since it's Amazon money, they're like, yeah, yeah, fuck it, do it. And I also think that all these scenes are Dalton both having, you know, post-traumatic

stress and flashbacks, but I think he's having nightmares that he's actually Luke Rockhole. Like, the impression that I got every one of them is like, oh, he just watched a lot of footage of Luke Rockhole. Like, he's a little too handsome, and he's like pretty good, and his like anger and, you know, like stage antics are pretty performative. This part's really weird to me, because the bartender girl comes in, he's like 90% nude, and she has like this giant bag of food. and she's like, oh, don't worry, don't put on clothes, I got brothers, don't even worry about it. And it's like, right, but like, do you not have a sex drive? I don't think it works like this. Like, for instance, if I was to barge into a woman's boat and like, change her underpants, I wouldn't say it's okay, I have daughters, I brought you seven burritos. She's not really

thirsty in this movie because she's like one of five women in this town. So like- She's getting it too much. She can get sex whenever she wants to. And you know, another great thing about watching this on Amazon is, you know, you pause it, it brings up the X-ray thing.

Her name in the movie is Laura, but her real name in real life is BK Cannon, which is such a fucking better name for someone in this film. And I don't know why they switched it. They're like, you need a real name instead. What's interesting about that scene is that suddenly everyone is familiar with Dalton. And again, what's interesting about her walking on the boat like that is, again, she's the only person who doesn't really want to fuck him, like her and Frankie. Even like the other

bartender there is like, hey man, Dalton, I know who you are. want to fuck him like her and Frankie even like that even like the other bartender there is like Hey, man Dalton, I know you are and then like it proceeds like this every scene after this everyone who sees Dalton They're like, hey, man. Oh, hey Dalton like the gas station owner that weird looking like John Waters guy Like it's just it turns into this almost like Wicker Man movie We're suddenly the entire town like knows Dalton and wants to fuck it. Well, yeah, a few people have like, they make it clear he's kind of famous, but also like, this is a town where the bar, the main bar is a fight club. How would you not know the UFC champion who also killed the guy in the ring? Like, I feel like he would be one of the most famous people on the planet Earth.

Yeah, well, it seems like the bar would be structured around him. Like he's the draw. Yeah. Like, come meet like the bar would be structured around him like he's the draw. Yeah. Like, go meet Dalton. He'd be signing autographs. Absolutely. So he goes to the bookstore to use the computer because he doesn't even have a phone. I do like that.

We run into the bikers again. They're like terrorizing everybody in the strip mall. We finally meet the main villain and he's fucking great. Billy Magnussen. Just full creep. he's like a Tito Ortiz you could never cast him as the good guy I was so sure that the guy's name was gonna be Brad like it's close there was every human that had like exactly who had just like an absolute Brad yeah he's a Brad it was that guy I

thought it was incredible his choice to play it. Again, all throughout, I can't tell if it's entirely on purpose or not, but people's choices in their performances are so good and so like memorable and inventive from Jake Gyllenhaal being like, oh, I'm playing a Zen himbo. To me, that's like Mr. Rogers with like a like a sarcastic Mr. Rogers. That's I would never have called that. And then the main villain is playing it like, like he's really he is really bad at evil, but he knows that and he's very frustrated by it at all times. And that makes for such a good character that you all of his plans every little power move he tries to do goes wrong and he's just like god damn it i wish i was better at this yeah it's like he's more mad that he's not a sociopath which is a weird uh he wants to be a

bad guy in this universe but that takes so much well and and and this is a weird nod that the writers do also for a second i was like oh this is just baron trump like he lives on a fucking yacht in Florida he's in the real estate his fucking dad's in federal prison like he's yeah you know he's got all his money because of nepotism he's in charge of like fucking goons he wears a fucking kimono like I was just like oh it's just baron trump grown up but again I don't know if that like the writers realize that that was maybe inspiration or whatever they, you know, wherever they're cooking this guy up from. This feels like a 2019 podcast now where you're like, I think this is a Trump podcast suddenly.

This is all a metaphor for this shit we're going through. I don't think that was intentional on their part. I think, I just think if you independently invent like the shittiest guy, you'll accidentally invent Baron Trump. I kind of got, maybe this doesn't sound crazy, but Jim from The Office, like he's kind of, he's like too good for everybody, but he's also like kind of an idiot and a piece of shit. He's a little too baby face.

Yeah. Again, and him wanting to be a super villain, there's that just perplexing, you know, like his character is really developed, but then they're like, but how do we really show that he's guy was really light-wristed, he could go with the bounce of the waves. And I think that was what he wanted to have work in it. Of course, it's a stupid idea. Which I guess is how you test your barber? Well, I guess if the filmmakers are geniuses, if we're giving them full credit, then that's demonstrating that this guy has weird ideas that he doesn't share very well with others,

expects everyone to be super competent around him, but it's rotten at the core. His original idea is too stupid to execute. Or has lived a life of privilege where he knows that a true barber could shave him on a moving yacht. Sure. I mean, no, because he has infinite patience. He doesn't even take it out on the barber after he keeps getting cut because of this. He's like, no, no, the captain's incompetent.

So like the amount of patience he displays for the barber was very strange. Like you think that I know how that scene's going to end with him, like throwing the barber overboard. No, no, it's the captain, the barber. You're just doing your job. You're totally just fine. So like, yeah, I think Sean's right. I think it is.

I think it's on purpose setting up everything about this guy's character, which makes it bizarre, but very skillful. This is a movie where I feel like if you give them full artistic credit for all the choices they made, it's a genius movie. I do think most of it happened on accident, but it's a fun exercise, at least. Well, and it feels like the answer to a lot of films that are made based on an algorithm,

you know what I mean? Like you need certain beats and you need this and that. And we tested this and that. It's like they reverse engineered that in a way where they started with an algorithm and then they just went wild with it instead. And again, I can't explain it because it's uncanny. Like I sat there the whole time, I was like, I fucking love this. I fucking hate this. Like, I couldn't shake that at all at any point in that film.

Yeah. I don't know a single person that went into this expecting it to be like, other than a hate watch, other than like, I'm going to watch the worst movie that I've ever made, because that's the kind of thing I do to myself. Likewise, I don't know a single person who went into watch lists that didn't come out saying, fuck yeah, that ruled. Yeah, it's so good. Well, and again, if you try to like look at any of the pieces individually, you kind of hate it.

Because again, I think that's when they're on the yacht, there's that like, the goon's like, well, hey boss, why do you want to tear down the roadhouse so bad anyways? He's like, well, if I gave you the end of the movie and the exposition, like, we're only 10 minutes in and then he like the scenes over. And so it's like they get it and it's almost like they had again, a, a, a, an algorithm for the they're both laughing at, but still using. There's a scene, the next in the next scene I like, where Jalen Hall sends the, the bartender slash bouncer over to get a guy with a knife.

And he's like, okay, this dude's got a knife. So here's what you want to do. Step back and then pop him in the face, which is an amazing bit of advice to stop a knife attack. And it works, but like he was inches from death. Just like, it didn't have to go wrong, just sideways in any kind of direction, and this guy is dead. Well, and I love that he asked Billy if he wants Billy the bartender again, and I love that they gave him a name like Billy. He wants to handle it the same way your alcoholic stepdad would ask if you want to, like, hey, you're driving by, he sees some prostitutes, like, you want to take a shot at one of those prostitutes? Like, you want to go try that? Like, I'm just kidding.

But like, he's like, hey, go get that guy with a knife. Like he, and again, he's got those like Steven Seagal, like superpowers where he just knows he has a knife. Or again, everyone in that bar has a knife. Oh, and two guns. Yeah, it's a safe assumption. Yeah. Guns are treated like, like only a handicap in this universe.

I believe he literally says that. Guy pulls a gun on him and he's just like, no, why would you, why would you handicap yourself like that in this universe where punches are the supreme weapon? It's clear that they are because Billy also really gets into like, bouncing at that point and starts beating Amanda to death. Like, you know, like you throw on some, I get, you know, someone pulls a knife on you, it's bad, whatever. But then there's just this moment where like, Billy's like taking joy and violence, you see him like just

working people over after that, just being like, Ah, this is great. This is the best job. They have fun. Like, I have taught you the song of violence. I will sing this forever. If you love to beat people up, you'll never work a day in your life. Like, he's like into it at that point. They do kick that guy out, by the way. I think the bar's rule is if there's an attempted knife murder, you get banned for an entire half day.

Well, and what's crazy too is I think it's maybe lunch during that time and there's already been three fights at that bar. Yeah, that's far fucking rules. Yeah, during bluesy gospel hour. And again, this has nothing to do with the bad guy because the bad guy has these bikers that come in to terrorize the bar but like Take those guys out of the story and they still need the world's best bouncer just to fucking get through the lunch rush Just it you just to deal with glass key. Yeah, the most violent planet like city owner but Jake John Hall is magical like

he's either a natural or he has an untold backstory as security. Because he, like I say, he can sense knives, he can teach rookies how to take out knife fighters. Anyway, he recruits another guy who kind of used to box in college. So I mean, they got the dream team, they got the bantamweight bartender, a guy that runs a banana stand, the bouncer dream team. Yeah, and that guy also looks exactly like fucking Johnny Walker from USC. Oh yeah. And I love that the guy's name is Reef. Which I don't know is an ocean metaphor or a racist one or like he's a black guy in Key West.

Of course that's what he's named. He wears like a polo shirt and drives a crotch rocket with this biker gang. This guy's fucking breaking all the rules. I started keeping count at this point, because in one day, they don't even show all of them. But in just the montage, they fight seven people, or they seven starts fight start and they throw out at least seven people, at which point like Billy and Reeve are like totally drunk on power. like Billy and Reeve are like totally drunk on power. I mean, they they portray this. She says the bar owner says at the beginning, like, I need your help because this evil businessman is like trying to destroy my bar by turning it into violence.

But we also have met his goons and these are not his goons. So like there's just super violence all the time. You needed him regardless. Like it's again, like the he's frustrated by his inability to do evil because he's sending these goons in there and they're like, boss, we tried to start trouble, but there was already three other guys in there starting trouble.

We live in a world where violence is the answer to everything, so it's not really doing much. There's a scene where they do this outside the bar, in the very next scene where he's just at the cafe having some chowder and he's watching a jet ski like bully a paddleboarder like like he hits him with what the fuck is that see that's how I knew they actually went to Florida it's just like terrorizing him for no reason like they don't seem to know each other it's not paid off in the movie yeah well he's out to lunch and the same thing happens when he runs into the hot doctor again

like you know and I had to rewind this like four times to figure out what the fuck was going on. They're like sitting there talking about like conch shells and whatever. And some beardo walks by and is like, Hey, nice haircut. Ellie really suits you. And she's like, fuck you. I should have let you die. Like that's her response to some dude heckling her out of nowhere.

And then she like, I guess sort of casually explains that he used to be her hairdresser And then she cuts her and he's mad at her cuz now she cuts her own hair at home Yeah, which is such a fucking weird thing to write for no reason. Just setting up that this is the endless conflict universe of just You can't do anything anywhere without it being a fight. Everything is literally governed by constant violence. They have a flashback here where they go to an actual UFC event where Jake Gyllenhaal went up and did a weigh-in. I took a little clip here, I know Brockway likes this, where Jake Gyllenhaal slaps his friend before the fight and this is what he says. Fuck! Just a little slap! Just a little slap!

Just a little slap! Just a little slap. Just a little slap. So he's a dick. In the movie we see this character who's like numb to emotions and adrenaline but apparently he used to be a giant dick. But then he killed his friend and like Used to be. I see Used to be more of a

Only the tone changes. Like he has murdered his friend and like has become jaded with violence and is like no longer wants to be that guy. But he did just slap a bunch of people and might as well have said just a little slap. Yeah, and it's almost worse that he's learned it. I think that's the kind of scary part about it. It's like there's no for fun in parking lots. Like in your, you know, and then this day off, he reads fun tourism books. Like he's still a nice guy who does Pilates.

He gets run down on the highway. The T-Dor team hits him with a truck. door teams hits him with a truck. And then he like survives the credit. He falls off this bridge and just swims home. But the guy's waiting on the houseboat. He's like, Damn it, I didn't want to have to kill you with the shotgun because it's way easier to explain vehicular manslaughter than shotgun murder. Of course. It's not easier when okay, so he missed it. Yeah, it's it's Dell. It's the main like the main goon And he tried to run Dalton over he missed him And so what he did was he threw his truck into reverse and he has one of those super trucks that can do a hundred

miles an hour in reverse amazing and so he blasted backwards down the highway at a hundred miles an hour and launched him and the truck through the guardrail into the sea and like, it's not going to look like an accident if you do it a hundred miles in reverse and then launch through the guardrail. If there's skid marks showing how you splattered a man. It's going to look more like an accident if you shoot him on his own houseboat with a shotgun. Yeah, you could come up with a thousand stories to cover for that. What I also like that he hits him with a truck, throws the truck over a bridge,

either sees him go off the bridge with the truck or watch the truck fall on him, and then goes back to his house to be like, well, maybe he didn't die. Yeah. Like, it's a curious like- That one's not going to take. Yeah. And then again, when they get back to the boat, you know, he's like, oh, of course, you're not dead. And again, Dalton like just laughs at death. He's like, please just kill me. Like, be the person who kills me.

Like I can't let myself die, but you can totally kill me. And it still doesn't happen. And here's where the croc attack pays off. Uh, he, he beats the guy up, just easily tosses him out the window, bashes it open with one hit, throws him into the ocean with the other. Throws his gun in the water. The guy's like, you fucking idiot. I'm just going to swim down and get the gun and get a gator attack.

Yeah. Amazing. Dalton gets a manslaughter assist from the crocodile. Yes. And then I don't know if we cut immediately to that old guy goes, won't find the body. Crocs have the food. Thanks for that. Amazing. See, I have a theory. I think in each movie, I think of a pivotal but underrated part of any roadhouse from the original to this one, if you were going to do it, you need to have

one totally out of context awesome thing that is just there to be used, to be a cool moment, and everybody's like like I don't know why this exists and the first one it was the monster truck they were like fucking why is there a monster truck that's wild well you know you used to see this in 80s movies a lot and even into the 90s were like they'd a good script we get picked up and they'd written producer on the producer would be like you know what's really cool is tarantulas and they're like yeah this isn't really a movie with like yeah but you, maybe if we just put it like, it feels like that, but it's not.

Like, there's, again, it doesn't serve as any kind of exposition. It's almost like a red herring. And I feel like, you know, or again, it's just to explain that even like the crocodiles in this town go from zero to 60 for no fucking reason. They're like, oh, there's a man in the water, kill him. Like, not going to check it out, not going to give him a nip just fucking toxic crocodile culture. It goes right from fucking like a guy falls in the water to like a hot tub bubbling full of blood in no time. God, I think at this point in the movie, they're trying to like turn it into a mystery for like two minutes, they just give it a shot where, where Jake is like, hmm, why is everyone trying to kill me? He like goes to the the bookstore and he's like, ha, so like it's not for drug smuggling. And I don't think I even noticed this until the third time I was watching the movie.

It's like, oh my God, are they trying to do like a mystery? What the fuck is the point of this? I love that it's like the Charlie like Dalton Detective Agency, like trying to work it out on their like 1990, you know, internet. Jake finally, like an hour into the movie realizes there's a main bad guy. The guy's like, come with me with a gun.

And he does the thing we referenced earlier, like easily just breaks his finger after the speech. Your gun, you can't even do gun stuff if you break your fingers. Like, what are you talking about? You're not setting up a finger break, are you? I'm just gonna say, here you go. I just gave you like 14 spiral fractures in your second metatarkle. I fucking love that like most bad guys in this film, because again, they're all wearing

like pastel colored like buttoned ups. Like, they're like, oh, we already used a guy who dresses like that. And we already use a guy like cutoffs and then the guy that takes off like, what's this guy really like? I don't know. Just make them look like Topgolf. Like, like he majored in golf at community college and like, in some weird way that totally works because those guys are always totally fucking dicks and also would be the guy to like carry

a gun in his like oversized truck. It's who this bad guy would hire I think is like golf graduates. We finally get Conor McGregor and we were introduced to him. He's fully nude strutting through Italy and this is a fun fact. This is the exact, this is him like trying to look cool and do his big dick energy. But it is the exact walk I have when I'm wearing my baby on my chest and needed like do a little hustle to get across the street. So that kind of cracked me up. But he's like the T-800.

He's like wandering around all buff and nude in search of clothes. Yeah, wait, so I have so many questions about this scene. And I would love you guys take on this because, you know, like, you know, he, he, he's not afraid to kill anyone or to do anything, but he's running from some like home wrecker situation. He just got called in. Right. But like, not enough to get his clothes. Like, again, he's not scared of anyone, except, I guess, the girl's husband and so he leaves all of his clothes except his cell phone, his shoes and his necklace that says Knox in case he fucking forgets what his character's name is.

They never explicitly said that he left his clothes. He might have been wandering around Italy like this naked and hooked up with the lady and is now just wandering away from that encounter. Yeah. Yeah. Well, you know, he blows his hat around. He's a full chaos gremlin. You can't tell what he's doing. As a character and an actor, like he's so bad at acting, but it kind of works because I don't think this character is supposed to like exist on the same plane of reality

as anyone else. Right. He doesn't even carry himself like a human being, like the way he walks and moves and smiles at you. And like, it's perfect for this where his his job is just to be a force of destruction that intersects the script occasionally. Yeah. Well, we're like, and it's great that you can't act out. It's perfect. And since he's like made of like two thirds cocaine, like every line again carries that intentionally or not, here's that same like

violent tone of the whole film. Like he gets that call and the guys like what are you doing he goes glow shopping what the fuck do you care Jesus it's just such a bizarre like you know like first of all he feels need to tell him but then he's like fuck you why are you asking me like what I'm doing like it's just again it's it's if if he wasn't so bad at the delivery I would never assume that he's acting in this film. Next, we get another weird moment because Jake Gyllenhaal and Ellie are having beers on top of the ocean. There's this weird shallow reef.

Fuck. And she kind of starts flirting with him for like the 20th time in the movie, and he finally realizes, like, wait, what the fuck? Are we on a date? I have to get the hell out of here. Which is wild because I guess, I don don't know maybe he just can't fuck. It's a man who's only enemy is zone intensity. So like maybe it's too dangerous for him to like make love to a woman. Yeah, I mean, Bruce Banner can't fog. Exactly. He's gonna fucking Hulk out you know halfway through I think we solved it again if this movie was a was any kind of like metaphor or parable or warning

about toxic masculinity, it's this whole like Voyage to Fuck Island where like. Everything is a red flag, like she shows up at his houseboat on a boat that she stole from her ex-boyfriend, who's a cop. Yeah, like every word in that every word of that is exactly. And he's like, well, I guess we'll go. I guess I could kill him if I had to. Because we know that he can de-arm people. And then again, that Amazon thing, which is so great, where you pause it. Again, it told me that the name of the song that plays when they're on

Fuck Island is just called So Right. No other context. As they get to Fuck Island, which is just a sandbar, he's like, ah, you don't want to get mixed up with a guy like me and whatever. And then she tries to dissuade him by being like, no, I looked you up. I know you like casually murdered your friend for fun, but I still want to fuck you. Yeah, I'm still here. I still brought you to fuck island. And their foreplay consists about them talking about like crocodile murders and like nepotism, like that's the lead up to them like fucking. Yeah. I mean, she also is pretty aware that he killed a man with a crocodile

just just the other night. Incredible. And it didn't even get him hard. Like what what chance do you have? I did take some Conor McGregor sound clips coming up here. Here's one. This is him arriving. Is this him arriving? Who put those fucking books in me way? Who the fuck are you?

Shh. Tag you guards. Sandwiches. I'm fucking famished. Uh, all that's crazy. Sandwiches. I'm fucking famished. All that's crazy. Yeah, I feel like the way that he wrecks a car every time he drives one, especially in this thing, is a metaphor for the end of their date. Again, he's got to kill someone or watch someone die to get a boner, and she's worked at an ER so long that, and pulled I don't know how many conchch shells and like Corona bottles out of like people's fucking butts that like she's probably

into some like crazy weird shit. And the only way they can show her explaining that is by showing Connor McGregor speeding down the highway in a sports car and then wrecking it. Like it's such a perfect metaphor for their like weird sex. He does crash every vehicle. I love that he is just, he's just in a scene from Grand Theft Auto. Like, it's not even a story scene. He's just somebody fucking around.

He's just constantly grabbing a car. You're like, where did he get that car? There's no possible explanation for it. He has not been paid yet. He's just like blasting around, leaning out the window like a dog, almost dying a bunch of times. He crashes it and wanders over to like recharge his health with sandwiches. Yeah.

Yeah. Well, you know, and again, he, you know, he, he traded a headbutt for the jacket he stole earlier. So you're absolutely right. He probably definitely stole that car. Yeah. He has a student driver's car later, which after we've established that he probably beat his way into all of these vehicles. So he killed some kid just to get the driver's instructor's car. And and their teacher. And they're like tech ed teacher who happens to teach. Yeah. Drivers Ed.

His whole life is just what takes place immediately after a save. Well, yeah. But yeah, and he's like that ultimate embodiment of like, you know, like you can't light a cigar with like a $1 bill, like you got to, you know, that, that mentality that like, Carter McGregor probably has in real life, the way that you like, don't give a shit about a sports car or anything nice is you just wreck it any chance you have. And like, it's just a way of life for him at that point.

Like a douchebag. And so he has like different status symbols, like his status symbols are not like, look at how well I take care of myself. It's like, look at, look at how expensive this thing is that I can destroy. If I met him doing any of these things, like in this world, I would assume he was Zeus in disguise. Like this is the kind of thing Zeus did to just fuck around with mortals. Well, and you know, and he, he wrecks that car and thinks nothing of it, but again, gets delighted by sandwiches and a fucking golf club. Because like the things that feed him or can be used for violence are the only like material objects he actually cares about in this film, or his like tiny like Gucci pants. Like other than that, like there's nothing that you can see that like brings him joy other than things that exact violence or succinct. He's such a good, he's a great chaos. He's the prince of the

chaos gremlins and I love him. I did also notice in that scene that he has knocks, knocks, knocks tattooed across his stomach also. Fantastic. Yeah, lifestyle. Casey has to do a memento, he's like, what's my name? Ah, one of these three.

Alright, here's another clip. I'm sorry, who the fuck are you? Hey, I got a message for you. From your father. A message? It's father and what- what is this message? Bum! Just a little punch in the face. From your father!

I got one more. Just a little punch. Just a little punch. We're gonna... kill this guy. If... he's already dead! Once Knox is on the job, it's over a punch. We're gonna kill this guy. He's already dead. Once Knox is on the job, it's over, baby.

It's just a matter of when. Yeah, you're right. I'm sure. I'm sure you're amazing. Amazing. Um, so that's it. That's Conor McGregor. It's clear that, that Brent lives on a yacht, but also has this house and he makes it clear

in that scene that it was his dad's house and they've turned it into some weird fucking hippie commune and he's upset about poor people, I guess. And again, what's also really great about that scene is Conor McGregor has clearly been there before and is like, this is my squad also. And again, exacts the same kind of big dickery you think he would, showing up to like even like a hotel he's been at once. Speaking of big dickery, Jake Gyllenhaal's girlfriend, her father is a cop, the local chief of police is played by Joaquin Daomaeda from Desperado. His name is Big Dick!

Yeah, of course. Which means that Conrad Greger definitely thought this was his character, so he showed up for all the wrong days of shooting. But anyway, he is going to execute Jake Gyllenhaal. I'm not even quite sure why. I guess to get him out of the way so that the bar can be more effectively terrorized. But he's going to just shoot him dead on the street and then Ellie comes up and slaps her dad right in the face while he's in the middle of this like extrajudicial execution what's great about him being called big dick is that like you could almost tell like in the script that they wanted like it's like boss hog but not boss hog yeah they're like big dick and

they're like that's funny but we'll use it as a placeholder for now but they never went and changed the name so he's just a dick throughout the entire script now And because they don't really explain it why he's called big dick It's not like he carries a big gun around me sort of like he's like I'm the sheriff around these parts or whatever but like You know, and he kind of threatens I guess like you said, you know He threatens Dalton a little bit who is clearly still unshaken by death again Ellie shows up turns out big dicks her dad which explains her like a little bit who is clearly still unshaken by death. Again, Ellie shows up, it turns out Big

Dick's her dad, which explains her like a little bit of her like fearlessness and having sex with someone that she knows has sent countless men to her own ER and killed a man. Conor McGregor and Jake Gyllenhaal finally square off because Conor McGregor has this awesome idea to go to the bar and terrorize it. No one's thought of this before. So he goes in and he's like, this roadhouse is mine. And then he like steals a guy's girlfriend and it is you're like, okay, put that in the script. That's great. But then they show it for like an uninterrupted like minute and a half shot where he takes her to the dance floor and then they like fucking have like a seventh grade fast dance.

It's almost like a nod to that scene in Kickboxer. Yes. Yeah, it really is. Like, but it doesn't serve anything other than be like, oh, we saw that movie too. We know you guys probably saw this movie. They dance and like it's a Mormon sock hop and then he remembers like, oh, right, I'm here to terrorize. And he smashes his face to the chicken wire and tells the band, hello band. Very menacing. But this gets everyone going. They're like, finally, bar fight.

And they just start punching each other in the face. Like the people they came with, the first guy who said this, punch two is clearly his friend in the face. It's the best. It's this is why people come to this bar. Yeah. And it's clear that like that band is that old time, like bluesy band is just like old man death, like even the guy is just there playing a fucking washboard.

Being like, ah, it's this time for fucking killing again. And, and, and I, I love every bit about that. I even love, I love the lead up to that where like Brent goes to the bar first and they watch a video of Dalton kill someone together. And again, this is that writing thing where, you know, Brent goes, you know, like they kind of joke like, I don't know, man, like what inspired you to kill somebody? And he goes, you know, what are you doing here? And Dalton's just like, well, what are any of us doing here anyways?

And then that's it. Yep. And then that's that's your lead up to Conor McGregor, like showing up as this kind of like force of nature. He's just like Jake is bored sitting at the bar like like Bruce Willis in a bar fight movie, just I'm not I'm not getting paid to stand today. But yeah, so he gets called out and fights his way over like like he's in final fight. This is just a 16-bit fighting game.

Yeah, it is. I absolutely have my notes like Connor tells his backstory like it's a bad video game villain. Yep. I did have a clip of what he says to him. It's really good. You're gonna love this. Well, you brought all your friends with you? I told you my miss happened in audience. I was trying to be thoughtful. Like on paper view. 25 quid. Watch me bump your face! Just a series of unrelated sounds. He speaks English, right?

Because it sounds like he's putting that together phonetically. I would think pretty good try if this was in a Godzilla movie from the 1950s. Yeah, or he was improvising it. Or he didn't know his lines, and this is the best it's going to be. He has to be improvising, or just remembering the wrong sheets from the wrong script. 25 quid, pay per view. That's not how much pay per views cost. What are you talking about? Watch me pulp your face. Who's ever said that? What? Connor, Connor enters, I like to think that Connor enters every roadhouse with like a bad pun, not just like this one. And like the other weird thing about the kind of like, you know, he goes to fuck the place up sort of, but like sort of casually enters the fight with Dalton, which is like sort

of our first or maybe second boss match in this. Like in the way that like a baboon like casually decides it's going to like rape a dog. Like it's just like, he's got this like- We all know that relatable experience. Yeah, exactly. But he's like, you know, you're like, he's a wild animal and he's got big teeth and whatever. But like, there's just this moment of like, huh, why not?

And then becomes this vicious animal that you know him to be. And it's just such a weird, again, there's no between the dancing, between the puns, like there's no clear, and I guess maybe this is part of him being psychotic, but there's no clear like build up to him just going into this fight where he literally wants to kill someone. Right. The fight is kind of crazy. Like someone's climbed up to the catamaran on the roof or something. And there's a double canoe up there and there's a POV section. It's swinging over the bar back. Like they do a good job of just selling this as the fucking craziest bar fight that's ever been.

It's the only reason anybody can possibly go to this bar. Because it's again, it's not being terrorized by all of these men. The second these men arrived, they were like, fucking thank God, everybody in the bar can cause chaos now. If they actually succeed and quell the violence in this bar, you're going out of business like immediately. What's left? Like a weird, like Polynesian themed bar that feels like it's out of hard ticket

to Hawaii and Florida? There's not really much sell in that place. I love that. Some bladed frisbees? Throw them around? Yeah, it's bike slash fight night every night. But Jake gets beaten to death at least seven times. And Conor McGregor, he stands back up and Conor McGregor goes, there's something wrong with you. There's something wrong with me too. And I'm like, it's the fastest we've ever finished a we're not so different, you and me speech. We're in it and done. Jake Gyllenhaal just walks away. He does not care that he was just beat to death. There's no malice or vengeance in his heart. He's just like, oh well. Yeah, there was someone there to finally like fulfill his death wish.

Yeah. And then when it was like in his sights, he's like, I still feel nothing. My heart's not in this. Didn't work out. And again, McGregor does that thing, like you said, where he's like, there's something wrong with you. It's it is like when two serial killers meet, like they instantly recognize each other. There's no two ways about like the way that, you know, they sense the same sort of like, sense the same desperation for death on each other. Shut said that it's the fastest we finish the scene where they're like,

we're not so different, you and I. But usually that scene ends with the hero being like, I'm nothing like you. And this one, Jake Gyllenhaal just shrugs like, well, yeah, you're right. And wanders off. Yeah, I'm exactly like you. Yeah, he's got a point. Is what, is how that scene ends. Yeah, if you have to kill someone in a non-casual way, Dalton doesn't want to do it. I think the filmmakers are genius,

is the point I was trying to make earlier, and this is it. They're just, they're just stating the theme of the movie for anyone. They're letting us know that our interpretation is correct. Jake Gyllenhaal wants to die. Well, and they also leave you with, you know, Conor McGregor can't be stopped.

Dalton can probably be stopped. But the other thing that can't be stopped is the fucking shitty music in the Roadhouse because after the cops show up and everything, it's just still that old man playing the fucking washboard and some maracas being like, I was told you paid us through ten, we're gonna stay. Like, it's incredible. The thing about the bands is they suck and I hate them, but also there's like 10 people in them

and they're probably pretty expensive to book. Like this, the bar is dedicated to making this music, this live music thing work. And when you would think by luck, I mean, there's like eight bands in that movie. One of them would be kind of okay. And all of them are uniformly generic and shitty in the exact same way. Like it has to be a choice. Like it has to be the, like the cheapest. You know, group of like guitar instructors from a local like guitar center that they could fucking hire to like do this because they're like, I don't know, play something bluesy.

Like here's another generic blues rift or here's a song by sublime. You all know, like it is, it is almost shitty intentionally. I think this is actually a case of them doing maybe too much of their research. It's just like with the jet ski bully earlier. Like I think that's part of being in the Florida Keys. I think they went down there and filmed that. And then they looked around and were like, we need to book some authentic bands. Yeah. They hired all locals. These are the bands that play in the Florida Keys. That's why it's terrible

Let's get them in here to cover to do a writ a slow reggae cover of sublime They are like the epitome of all the kind of people who would be in Florida Like there's the the like shell necklace kind of bros There's like the old guys who cashed in there like 401 401k for fucking Harleys and the bluesy shit. It is all in full force and it's all encapsulated by those shitty bands. So Jessica Williams is now bullying Jake Gyllenhaal. She's like, oh, you're so afraid just because the law enforcement and organized crime are trying to murder you. All you have to do to live is leave this shitty contract,

the details of which I lied about, which is up in a couple days. You're such a coward for leaving!" It's very frustrating. But then he tells her that he is afraid, basically just of the monster inside him, which comes out because now the bookstore has been burned down, which was the one good thing in this movie was the pure heart of this young girl. And so he goes straight to the bad guys base on foot. One guy's like, Hey, I'm going to kill you just throat punches him just murders him with a neck punch. Yeah. And then this is where the movie goes from like, second degree to first degree murder. Yeah, like, it's so this is a Roadhouse one reference of obviously from the next tear. And Jake

Gyllenhaal, remember he's a Bone Wizard, so he knows that he collapsed his aorta and neckbutt. Well, he starts to explain it in that kind of way that like, and this happens later too, he's explaining it in sort of almost like that American Psycho way during that scene with Huey Lewis where he's like, ah, you know, this just happened for you, and you get this weird impression, and maybe it's not so weird, you know, this just happened for you. And you get this like weird impression. And maybe it's not so weird, but that like, this isn't the first time

like Dalton has killed an entire like village of people. For sure. Like he's like, this is just how it starts, man. You know, here's the cool ways that you die and now everyone's gonna die. Maybe he and Conor McGregor are the same character before and after a save. Like he's trying to play through the game.

Oh, that makes sense. Yeah. Yeah. Normally. But then too much bullshit happened. It's time to just riot and wreck everything. And then he'll reload and be normal again, be sensible again. I found it interesting that this was the first guy,

I think maybe the only guy he intentionally kills. It's like he was even trying to save Del when he accidentally fed him to a crocodile. We are very much shown like, he has not intentionally killed anybody, but this was a line too far and now he's going to kill. He doesn't, again, he does like hurt a lot of people. I don't think anybody else dies at his hand in this.

It's just this guy who is, as far as I know, never showed up in this movie. Why do we hate this guy? I don't know who this guy is. I think he's like on the yacht one time before and you can tell he's like, you know, if T2RT's and his gang are like level one villains, he's like level two-ish. Like he's got a little bit better understanding of like organized crime and whatever else. and I think kind of prods Brent at some point. Yeah, it's like I'm gonna show that he has lost his mind and he's been pushed too far, so he's gonna walk up and shoot the third guy from the left. Like, why? Why that guy? Who is he? What's happening?

But yes, a switch has been flipped inside of him, and he is now like, a very capable, like, murderer, like he knows what to do. He's not like, Oh, shit, what do I do with his dead body? He picks up the wet corpse, throws it in a truck. And it's part of a plan. He's already hatched. He's already executing on it. He knocks out a cop and steals all the payoff money that the cop had. He takes the cop's gun and he fills the corpse that he just cop had. He takes the cop's gun and he fills the corpse that he just killed with bullets.

And the cop is like, dude, what in the fuck are you doing? And Jake is like, you guys pissed me off. So here I go. I actually took a clip of this. Don't know those bullets didn't kill him. Just confused him. I'll tell him it was you.

Oh, okay. I'll tell them it was you. Oh, okay. You know what though, there's a real possibility you won't remember any of this anyway. Wait, wait, what? When you've been fighting as long as I have, you know the power of a concussion. A real whack can really knock the short-term memory out of you. Something about how it takes a memory couple minutes to get to the long-term part of your brain, I don't know.

Anyway, you and I have only been talking for about a minute and a half. I don't understand. Oh, what's that over there? So then just a couple minutes later in the movie, we get this scene. Want his money, the money you took from him. I didn't take any money. My deputy told me you were talking some shit about short-term memory. Oh Shit yeah, I did take

It just it seems like it shouldn't work he's just making it up on the fly and the next scene is like yeah didn't work Okay, that's worth a shot. Okay, he got me. None of his plan worked. The cop was like, why are you shooting that guy? It's like, it'll make him confused. It didn't. Another thing that's crazy about the level of violence and murder he exacts is that he kills a guy, watches him die, puts his body on ice, sleeps next to it, right?

Then goes and shoots the body for fun in front of a guy who he like knocks out multiple times trying to get just close enough to killing him so that he has memory loss. And he still has nightmares about the UFC and none of that stuff. Right. Like, none of that bothers him at all. That he just killed a man, he's killed other men, it's just that first one. Well, that was his friend. Fair enough. But also... Well, it was the one where he didn't mean to. Yeah, he's just that first one. Well, that was his friend. Fair enough. But also...

Well, it was the one where he didn't mean to. Yeah, he's sleeping next to a corpse. Anytime you think you find a plot hole, there's a good explanation for it. It's a perfect movie. Fair enough. It is. It is airtight. Nobody really has any sense of danger here at this point in the movie, because Conor McGregor is driving a student driving car and eating, like, what, 30 coconuts? It's so fucking weird.

I love that, yeah, the whole driver's seat is filled with empty coconut shells. I love that he's just as happy, if not more so, in the stolen driver's ed car as he was in the supercar at the start. Like, it doesn't matter, he's just here to have a good time. It's the crash anyway, the crash is the only fun part. Well, and then he gets out

and it's clear that he also stole the kid's shorts that he stole the car from, because he again, like his fucking Gucci pants, he's like and he's like in boy shorts. Like it's incredible. He changes his equipment from whatever he loots from the last thing he killed. So they take Joggenhall onto the yacht. And again, there's no sense of danger, so they don't search him. He's yeah, I don't know, he's the the world

champion fighter who's also an expert in knife combat explosives, and apparently all crime. And they're just like, yeah, come on to the boat, just get really close to all the guys. And everybody betrays everybody. It's, it's, it's great. When I like they have this, they have this like, building anticipation, kind of like the biker and raising Arizona with like Connor coming. Yeah, you know, you know, he's on his way to the boat too. And it's gonna like he's gonna blow the boat up. But again, in that same way that he's like, Oh, yeah, you fuck it. Yeah, right. I was I was actually lying.

Dalton just like does it for him. He's like, Ah, Connor's on his way like is gonna, I'll just blow the boat up for you guys. And just blows the boat up. So he blows it up. He saves Ellie. They actually have a boat fight. Some guy challenges with the ocean combat. That guy's fucking maniac. Loses instantly. Like, no prayer. He uses that guy to block Connor McGregor's boat. He like holds his head up like, here, take all the damage of Connor McGregor's boat attack. When I love that, like, this whole scene is like a checklist of like just crazy shit, like the boat blows up. Dalton punches a guy for no reason.

Just like is walking off the boat and just punches a man. Uh, then there's a man on fire, which is just, it's just fucking awesome. As it sounds, it's just, you know, these things, like there's no context. There's no lead up. Um, even like when he gets on the boat, some guy just punches Dalton for fun. And Dalton laughs at it the same way like you do knowing that like Dalton can't be killed. Like, it's just a matter of just violence for violence sake. It's fantastic. So the bad guys plan is now to just go blow up the roadhouse

right now with his boat. He's like, fuck it, I'm gonna go kill the roadhouse with my boat right now. Jake climbs onto Conor McGregor's boat and just throws him off. Conor McGregor's fine, he just grabs hold of the anchor and just gets drug along like a piece of seaweed. He can't be killed. And there's that crazy bit of dialogue about like, we finally gotten the octagon together. Yeah, and Gyllenhaal's like, who taught you shapes? Yeah, I'll allow it. But it's almost like a, yeah, it's almost like a weird, like,

TBI thing. Like, yeah, you know, you're trying to kind of figure McGregor out. And you're like, oh, it's a joke about how he's in it. But it's not. It's still it still doesn't work. It's just trash. It's the fucking one of the rare misses in the movie. I think he might write those. I think McGregor might have written those lines too. Like, you know what I mean? Like he said, what if I said this? They're like, all right. I don't think he wrote, I don't think anybody wrote any part of his lines. I don't think they knew he was going to do them. I think,

and I genuinely think this is would make for a great art movie. I think they wrote a very carefully scripted movie and then at like three or four points in the movie they just had a blank page and they're like when Conor McGregor got on set they're like do whatever. Have fun. Do what? Just do some shit. You're crazy. Break something and he did and then they're like all right now we've got to rewrite around what he just did and try to try to hold it together. When I think, I think, yeah, again, he, he sort of inserts his own stuff in that, because also after Dalton knocks him off the boat, he just sort of iron mans his way to safety in a way that makes like no sense. He's just happy to like swim a couple miles in some tennis shoes and climb up a ladder.

Oh yeah, he's alive. He's fine. Of course. Why not? There's a scene where Jake Gyllenhaal is in the little rubber, like, speedboat and then he's going up against like that big fucking pleasure craft. It's a lot like Rambo three when the tank and the helicopter are going to run into each other, but Jake is in the helicopter. And everyone remembers that the

best Rambo from 30 years ago. So they smash into each other. Jake's boat just gets vaporized but he like gets flung up with cartoon physics onto the top of the big boat. Connor should be just dead as fuck completely dead. They've each died probably 12 times now. Anyway, the boat that he's on now just goes straight into the roadhouse trashing the deck. So this they were trying to prevent this the whole movie and here it is just happening.

Bad guy gets a harpoon gun. Jalen Hall takes it out. To demonstrate also a sign of his classism. He walks around with a some spear fishing. It is a real preppy thing to murder somebody with for sure. And then follows by crying about like work and money. Like that's his like villain speech to Jake Jalen Hall when he's gonna kill him with a spear gun. He's like, my money, my job, I had a development.

McGregor comes crashing into the bar with a truck. And now we get like the final final fight, which is just a squelchy, insane like cap aware fight for a bit. where a fight for a bit. Connor power bombs out of a triangle into a piano. This turns the fight silly because they start bashing Jake Gyllenhaal into a piano. And he can be like, Oh, this piano is out of tune. And now I think that his fun meter sounds good to me. I think this refills Jake Gyllenhaal's fun meter, which is like his rig. He's like a reverse Hulk and a regular Hulk. So he's invincible when he's happy and when he's enraged. There's this weird moment where he almost gets rear naked choked. Yeah.

And again, this is where I'm thinking like, maybe Connor like had a little bit more to do with this. You know, some of this, you know, at least the fight scripting I thought, because he's like, he's going to rear naked choke me. It's like he's going to be sunk in. But you know what, I'm gonna get out this time, not gonna have another like Nick Diaz on my like pack like that. I'll show them. That's true. That could be a Diaz reference. Yeah, Connor seems full of himself enough to

think that like, if I say the word octagon on a boat, people are gonna fucking really pop. But yeah, so he called them Easter eggs. Easter eggs. I'm famished. There's a weird like, again, some choices in that last fight scene, where Dalton is like framed by stained glass at one point. And again, it's like very Jesus very like wicker man like Wicker Man scene, they get in a huge fight and then, you know, Connor again, stabs him in the side, calling back to the beginning part. Yeah. Which all feels very, you know, like I said, I genuinely can't tell if it's intentional or not.

Like as a callback? Or just as like, yeah, like a whole choice about the way that you frame Grona. Thought we agreed everything is grade. It's kind of like- Everything is intentional. That's true. He's the martyr of Glass Key. And they try to rub it in as hard as possible.

Connor escapes a rear-nega choke and stabs Jake Gyllenhaal with a chunk of wood in his previous stab wound. Will, you think that's a Jesus reference, a Spear of Destiny reference? Absolutely is. You're 100% right. Exactly, he's the glass, the martyr of Glass Key. The saint of glass keys, as it were. There's that whole weird scene where he's framed by the stained glass that's in the Roadhouse for whatever reason.

Like that big back wall that you never see before then. If Florida had its own Jesus, one of his miracles would be a throat punch. For sure. I mean, I think this is the punch universe, so like, it makes sense that their Jesus is punch-based. Like, ours is forgiveness-based, instead of that, lunches. Fucking a punch-based Jesus is my new favorite turn of phrase, by far. There's a part here where, like, he kind of leaves Jake Gyllenhaal to bleed out. He doesn't know yet that Jake Gyllenhaal is immune to stabs,

especially in this one location. So he gets up and Brandt is just fucking like, I'm fussy, fussy, fussy and Conor McGregor just casually fucking snaps his neck. Just what does it take to get you to shut up murder? Yeah. Fantastic. Fantastic. And to like this is this weird afterthought of a character or not. He's a great character, but like afterthought of a threat, I suppose I should say. So Jake is almost dead. But you have to remember that he is not just a reverse Hulk, but a regular Hulk.

So now he's mad and he fucking stabs caught McGregor. I counted eight times with two different chunks of wood like like a mortal. And our Sandman comes back on. Yes. Again again as a call back to his walkout song. And he goes from playing dead to coming back to the dead and doing his own crucifying. It's so fucking nuts. So in this universe, which is punch-based and not forgiveness-based, Jesus crucifies other people. Exactly. That's what a punch-based Jesus would do.

You're right. It holds up. It's all intentional and it holds up perfectly. Also, in the end, through besting Brent and Conor McGregor and fucking Ellie and her fucking big dick dad, he wins. Fucking Dalton totally, unseem wins despite like almost dying a few times. He still feels nothing. Like he leaves the Roadhouse so like, nah, dejected. Not even dejected. He's just like, I'm just I'm just done playing this game.

Like this game's like 10 hours too long and just leaves. Yeah, he doesn't even get why he liked it in the first place. He's like, oh yeah. And Big Dick shows up to almost, you know, it's like, oh, don't you were never here. You know, I'm still corrupt, but now I'm corrupt in your direction. Exactly. It's just, it just points to like nothing in Florida like has ever mattered. Like it's just this weird, like nothing mattered. It didn't matter when you showed up. It didn't matter when these guys died. It didn't matter when that guy went to jail. It's just, it's whatever.

Well, I mean, that's entirely true because that because the one of the final beats is like this car, this truck that Connor McGregor drove through the wall and this place is basically falling down around them like two goons just show up stepping around the truck and they're like, hey, is this place still open? They're like, yeah, of course. This is where chaos happens. This is, you think, a simple truck through the wall? What's up? No, we're here to fight. Yeah. We're here to fight in front of some gospel music. Yeah, yeah, we still do that.

Don't worry. The reveal that Connor's still alive is like, I wrote down my notes that it's almost like Legend of the Overfiend style, where like, Nugumo comes back to life and just instead of, you know, you know that like the worst things about to happen because again, like his his entrance, he's still naked. Right. It's all it's a perfect movie. It really is. And maybe maybe that's why I needed to talk to you guys about it, because it was really hard for me to like, accept you were trying to like that I have. I have seen a perfect movie. I finally saw a perfect film. Yeah, I put it up there with Warriors, Bloodsport, Desperado, movies that are like, kind of silly and stupid, but like, perfect.

Like, there's nothing you'd want to change. Yeah, and that's the hard thing about it. It's not quite like Hardticket to Hawaii, but it's also not... I don't know, it's not Red Belt. Sure. No, it's fucking insane and bizarre, but it was executed by people that knew what they were doing on purpose for reasons I will never understand. But they did, I think. Yeah, no, I think they did.

I think they had perfectly reasonable, coherent aspirations, and they also had Conor McGregor. You know, also from the most unlikely of places, because if you ever told me that Amazon Films was going to put out a movie with Conor McGregor in it, that was going to be fucking amazing. That punchline would never end for me. That is the silliest thing I can think of, and yet here we are. I don't want to see him. I loved his role so much in this. It was so perfect, and he added everything perfectly timed to this movie.

It needed his role, his performance, his everything. I don't want to see him in any other movie ever again, at least not outside of this role. I think if you're going to do like, we're gonna write Sleepless in Seattle, but there are four pages I'm gonna leave blank because Connor MacGregor is gonna come in and just fuck everything up.

And then we're gonna try to react to that. I never want to see him again, but I would want to see him a hundred times more in a hundred different movies where he's only there for two minutes. Yes, only in this only in this exact role and the philosophical approach to the role of like, I OK, everything's going really well for our heroes. This is the part where I'm supposed to disrupt things. I don't know how to do that. So I've wrote down Conor McGregor.

Well, again, this is again, to your point, this is the absolute genius of this film where like all the unlikely things that should not work in this film do. And I think this is part of like Jake Gyllenhaal's ability as an actor is to like tone down his character so much that it amps Connor McGregor up that much more. Like you almost forget that he's a bad actor because you have another guy who has no inflection through most of the film. And then one guy, he was a hundred percent inflection. I'm still thinking about Conor McGregor in other movies. I think they should force gump him into old media.

I want like ET. All of a sudden you hear this voice like Reese's Pieces, I'm famished. Watch me poke your face. And then like you CGI ET getting completely fucked up. Go on with the movie after that. Find a spot, like maybe cut to that ET like in the river. You know when they find ET all sick, like just squeeze Conor McGregor right before that.

Like he just beat ET and left him for dead. And then left. And then left and has no effect outside of that. Wrecks a car, throws out a bad pun and walks away. Yep. Who's in the briefcase in Pulp Fiction? It's Conor McGregor. Watch me poop your face! And with Maximallen Chao Says Freikfurt Podcast Correct?

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