The Dogg Zzone by 1900HOTDOG - Dogg Zzone 9000 - Episode 179, Gorilla Flow Director's Cut with Jason Pargin

Episode Date: June 12, 2024

Brockway has found more Gorilla Flow, the hour long infomercial of pure madness. He is joined by fellow gorilla piss specialists Seanbaby and Jason Pargin to discuss what this new lore does to the established Dr. Leo Shub Gorilla Piss Universe.

1-900-HOT-DAUGHT 1-900-HOT-DAUGHT Our podcast slams with maximum hype Say hot dog podcast, word Yeah When you taste that nitrate power You're in the dog zone for an hour Come on

You know the number 1-900 1-900-HOT-DAUGHT Welcome to the Dog Zone 9000, the official podcast of 1900Hot Dog, America's last comedy website. If you remember laughter, we still do that. Every single weekday, talented, well-paid human comedians write carefully researched, long-form comedy about cursed media that never should have been. You can come join us, get access to hundreds of top secret bonus episodes, team-up articles, a thriving Discord community, we do meetups, more, even more than that that I'm probably forgetting. Come support us at patreon.com slash 1900.

Hot dog, because we're it baby, we're the last stand of comedy. If we die, it's just joke robots devouring their own shit forever. Like these ten kidney beans from Constoria.com. Did you hear about the kidney that went to art school? It became a magnificent filter. I donated my kidney to a marathon runner. Now I'm left with a half marathon. No matter how much you study kidneys, you won't pass renal Oxford. God damn it. What did the left kidney say to the right kidney? Hey buddy, when's our next filter party?

That's a filthy thing. I've been to a filter party and it is disgusting. I'd make a joke about kidneys, but I'm worried you might find it a bit re-renal. That's the R word. I'm so bad at telling kidney jokes, I'll probably just end up un-urining a few people. I like that it knows it's doing like the Rodney Dangerfield kind of self-aware. Mm-hmm. Whoa, this one's bombin'.

And then it still goes for it. Why did the tennis player donate his kidney? He wanted to give a good serve renal. I mean, that's obviously a 10 out of 10 joke. I've always wanted a pet kidney, but it would probably just end up in the renal cycle. Getting dark. Everybody knows what that is, and how pets go there. Yeah, that's when you make a smoothie out of a cat.

To die is the implication? When my kidney failed, I was so upset I started urinating. Then I realized it was just a stream of consciousness. When punsteria takes in a second concept and like, sometimes it knows it's like, I didn't quite make a joke with that slur of words, I should try again. And then it adds on a second element and that's when I think that it starts to work.

I mean, that doesn't, none of that is anything. No, no, no, it's not coherent, but it's like madness in an unexpected direction. So it technically has a turn, like a proper joke. It's more like the rhythm of a joke. It's like, ba-bop, ba-bop, ba-bop. You're like, okay, punsteria. Yeah. Yeah, I think the gauge is whether or not, like,

if you told a hundred of these back-to-back as fast as you could, which one would people not be like, wait, hold on. I think maybe that one's wonderful. I just think it sounds like a foreign person trying to, like, make fun of how English people talk. Like, if someone was to watch Rodney Dangerfield from Italy and they went like, blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah metal, they prefer smooth jazz filtration. Ifgin. Hello and before we get started I want to explain even before we get into the plug someone explain to the listeners This is a little bit different today because yesterday and we do record these a little bit in advance

But we got a message on our corporate slack It's from message came in from Sean saying hey, this is Sean CFO. Um, this is an all he did called a mandatory all hands meeting conference call and basically we all got it on. He said, look, um, normally, you know, we cover these just random cursed pieces of media kind of dissect what mad man made this thing, but just got word that Trump was found guilty on all 34 charges and his hush money trial in New York.

So we need to do an emergency pod on the fact that the gorilla piss guy has made a third video. All ties together. Yeah. It's all a symptom of the the poison infecting America Which you can filter out by pissing like a gorilla. I'm not sure what the segue is You're making a kidney joke. You're making a punster your kidney joke in your real time. It's in my brain You're growing an extra finger as we speak the ai's inside you

Uh, that's right. Today. We're talkingilla flow. Before we do that, Jason's getting too excited again. Jason, where can people find more of you? It's just part of the format at this point. I am Jason K. Pargin on TikTok and all of the other social media platforms except the ones that the teenagers keep to themselves. Like, I don't know how to use Snapchat. Also, the book that I'm promoting is up for pre-order. It is called I'm Starting to Worry About This Black Box of Doom. It is a standalone novel. You don't have to have read anything else I've ever read and to understand it. It's up for in every format, including audio. No, I do not read the audiobook. That would be a disaster. They hired a professional.

I can vouch for it. I gave you a billion pull quotes, didn't use any of them. Do you want to do another right now? This book will make you piss like a gorilla out of your dick. That's a guarantee. Put a guarantee at the end of that. You got sales, baby. That's how you get sales. Legally actionable claim, and we stand by it. God damn it. If you don't act now, the gorillas are going to eat every single one of Jason's books and you'll never get one. It's a limited supply. There's civil war.

Yeah, it'll kill the gorillas too. Either you or these endangered gorillas are going to have piss powers, one or the other. So look, it's, look, it's between you and them. When your family is dead to gorilla piss, just cut in half like a laser, then you'll regret it. You'll wish you'd bought right now. It's a reverse Congo. You're describing a reverse Congo. Imagine if you don't know what gorilla flow is, which you could. You could have just very

possible that one podcast. You think it's possible someone hasn't listened to our 250 podcast episodes? And then you would be really confused about every single thing that your favorite author just said. Okay, so Gorilla Flow, we found a very obscure, very obscure, as in I think it had 30 views at the time that we found Gorilla Flow. It was an hour-long infomercial for pills that would make you piss like a gorilla. Only the entire thing, like, it was breathless. The guy never stopped talking and every single sentence escalated the stakes. And it started with just his exploding piss balloon fathered, and he was gonna mercy kill him because he

couldn't bear to see this strong man suffer incontinence. It's fucking crazy at the start, and then it gets weirdly racist in like a new direction? Like I don't think that invented... He definitely invented some new racisms. Right! Like he eavesdropped on his African tribal friend pissing, and was like so floored by how powerful this man's piss was that he must know his secret. And it turned out he was hiding a secret!

So the African tribes are like greedily hoarding the cure for prostate issues, and therefore the superpower of Ultrapis. We determine he certainly hates his wife. They're wiping out the mountain gorilla to make this supplement. A lot of that is self-loathing. He's ashamed of himself in front of his wife and he's projected that shame onto her. It's definitely his problem if any of that existed, which it doesn't. He's making it all up. I really hope otherwise this is the worst man who has ever lived and we have to form a team to take him down

Immediately that man that's name is dr. Leo Shub We looked him up. He is a real guy He's a real doctor with a real medical practice and that's his real name that he's putting on this It's fucking crazy fucking the craziest thing I've ever heard. He made a second one called 2PT. We made a podcast about that one too. You can go look for the Gorilla Flow and the 2PT podcast. 2PT, just a straight boner pill. But it's a boner pill that was discovered by ancient sex cannibals to save their race from the Portuguese Inquisition, I believe. Portuguese smallpox, I think. That's right. They had to fuck poor geriatric cannibals.

Had to fuck extra, like with the strength of a hundred men just to save their race. Which they did, thanks to a specialty and maybe a fire dance ritual. He tried it. His wife caught him doing that, though. That god damn wife of his. And did not like his boner ritual dance that he. I've got to say, I got it. Break in here with some feedback guys. If a listener has not heard either of those two episodes, they are far more confused now than they were before.

Because your, your attempt to try to distill this down into a quick summary to try to bring them up to speed. It is just a labyrinth of madness. It just, cause you're forced to try to, to summarize all of the crazy turns in this guy's hour long Dick supplement infomercials that he made. It is like, there's no, it's not your fault. It could not have been done. It's just that if someone is coming in on this episode, they have to think we're doing a bit where we've made up a fake thing.

I would like to clarify Jason's clarification. The original source material, if you listen to it, is an even denser labyrinth of madness than what we've just said. So each layer that you try to explain it is crazier than the last it's impossible. You just have to kind of experience it when we prepare podcasts, whether it's for Big Feets or for this like, you a lot of it is writing down what some the crazy shit someone said on TV. And when when we did those podcasts for the gorilla flow and for the to PT, it was basically transcribing an hour-long video because he never said anything that wasn't absolutely crazy. Oh, there is not a wasted

second in his two hours of infomercial on these dick pills, these dick supplements he's selling. There is not a... It just skips from one mind-boggling thing to another. We also forgot to mention it's all like generic stock footage that he is cutting together into a completely insane narrative. Like when he he discovers his father has like some form of incontinence, he the stock footage cuts to a man grabbing a pistol and then a gunshot and like CGI blood splatter covers the screen like he's just going to fucking shoot him like a horse. My father's not going to die in a fucking diaper. Those were whatever we just said that I disassociated. That was the first two podcasts we found.

We found not a full third one. We found something even crazier. We found the Gorilla Flow director's cut. He made an alternate cut with new material of Gorilla Flow director's cut. He made an alternate cut with new material of Gorilla Flow. It's only a few minutes, mostly at the start, a little bit at the end, a couple of little parts in the middle. It's all fucking crazy. It's such dense crazy that we are going to unpack pretty much the whole thing. I'm assuming that'll take the rest of the podcast easily. Did you know that he also had another product?

He might have many products, but I found another one called Endo Pump. Did you find that when you were looking at Blaio show? Yeah, I didn't find an hour long manifesto begging to be institutionalized for the rest of his life, but I did find it. But yeah, it was like he made a non racist, non promoted, non marketed like boner pill. I think that might have been the first one. Yeah, it was like he made a non racist non promoted non marketed like boner pill I think that might have been the first one. Yeah, maybe he's like nobody's buying it. What if I add a little Cannibalism little racism little shame. What if I kill my father?

Okay, so let's get into the new material for Gorilla Flow. It is an entirely new intro. Instead of all that shit about finding his dad and realizing he's gonna die and piss just like his dad, and maybe it'd be better if he killed him, it starts like this. As I reached up to pick the strange-looking cherry, I heard a snap in the brush behind me. Dr. Shub, do not run. Be submissive, the tour guide shouted. Well, from personal experience, I can tell you, when a fully grown male silverback gorilla charges you as he pounds his chest like King Kong, being submissive comes quite naturally.

Doing my best to remain calm, I stepped in front of my wife and bowed my head like a defeated samurai. A moment of tense silence followed as we waited to see what the great ape would do. And for the briefest moment, I imagined tomorrow's headline in the local Namibian paper. Idiot doctor on honeymoon is torn to pieces by giant silverback gorilla. His bride survives and quickly marries someone smarter. I love that he starts an infomercial with a cold open like a horror movie. Like there's a separate thrilling bit that we have to get into this five minutes to get the audience hooked so that we can tell our narrative.

And in this one, he's getting into like a mental samurai duel with a great ape. On his honeymoon. On his honeymoon, that's where he went. So on their honeymoon they went to Nibibia for people who are already, you know fans of the Leo Shub Extended cinematic universe are already asking well now hold on Does this is this retconning? How he came in to know about the gorillas and the gorilla cherries like because before obviously it was his African tribal friend who he listened to urinate for several minutes from just outside the door.

No, we'll explain it. But no. Yeah, no. What? The strange cherry. It's like when you watch a prequel movie made 30 years after the original and they're like, oh, what's your name? I don't really have a name. They're like, you got to have a name and a vest.

And we also have to explain the gun you're carrying. Okay, I don't know. I'm all by myself, so maybe call me Solo? And they're like, huh. And then you wait for the whole audience to gasp. I feel like that's what that cherry was. He's like, you know, I reached up to pick this strange cherry. You know what that is.

Yeah. The fan favorite cherry. Yeah, the fans popped for that. And it's true. I did. I was like, fuck yeah, cherry. Yeah. He's going to piss like a gorilla. Woo. We're getting ahead of ourselves. We've not gotten to that part of the story. Right now, he is staring down the silverback gorilla. It's pounding his chest, and he has bowed his head in total submission, just as the Mountain Monsters crew would have done in the same situation. Like a mighty samurai might.

But still extremely cool, even in submission. Yeah. I'm like a mighty samurai in the way that I submit to a superior male. The gorilla in this case is the Shogun, I guess, is how the gorilla hierarchy works. I think there was a twist here because he's like, let me tell you from personal experience, when a gorilla, a King Kong silverback male gorilla is charging you, I thought he was gonna say like, you're gonna run. But no, he's like, oh, being submissive is super easy.

Trust me. As a samurai samurai as a mighty Dominican doctor samurai my honor knows when to bend to the mighty ape and in this case I was correct Here's uh, here's how that continues the gorillas snarl and chest slapping which sounded like he was hitting a pair of tightly tuned bongo drums Snapped me out of my days. For the briefest moment, I looked up and saw his oh so human eyes piercing my soul. Then the beast began to stalk off on all fours. I held my new bride's wrist tightly, hoping and praying that we'd walk away

with an amazing honeymoon story instead of being torn limb from limb. The bongos. The bongos. The little, the little jaunty bongo riff. I think that was a real gorilla sound. I think that was a kind of little popping noise they make with their mouths sometimes when they breake. Well, it was supposed to be him pounding his chest.

He pounded his chest like tight little bongos and then he played some bongos over stock footage of a gorilla. Pounding his chest like a gorilla is just like playing a little jazz riff on the old chess there. This footage they use is, I've actually seen this footage. It's the footage you get if you search for like, gorilla footage. This is the clip you'll get. It's a viral gorilla video of this gorilla coming by and he just like grabbed a tour guide and just kind of pulled him into the brush just to kind of show everybody I could kill you all. Like most people have seen this. It's very famous footage.

And yet he didn't use the moment where the gorilla grabs the guy and pulls him into the brush. And that's like the terrifying moment. Yes. So what? That would have been like your clincher. It's crazy not to use that, to use all the footage around that, which is kind of nothing, and then not use the one remarkable moment. Also, I forgot to mention that when he says like, I could just see the headlines the next day, a little CGI newspaper spins up to the screen

with the headlines of like, stupid doctor killed, happy wife married again. But if you pay attention to the other story, it's the definition of what a gorilla is. It's just defining gorillas. That's what scientific name gorilla gorilla gorilla. Leo Shub has the comic timing of a guinea worm. Like I just, whenever he makes a joke, I get so fucking pissed off. And so when he's like,

his bride survives and quickly marries someone smarter. I just, I'm just, it's so offensive to me, but still fascinating. Here's what's fascinating. It's so bad in, as we have seen in my masterful opening to this episode, reading the Punsteria punts, we've seen what it looks like when AI fails. So it's just further proof that every word of this, of which there are many, many words, because he never stops talking and he talks very fast, was written by a human being, which means

the amount of time? Like, you would have to cut the stock footage? I don't think it's AI cutting the stock footage. It's so much effort. For nothing. For this madness. Okay, so, uh, we have just survived a gorilla samurai showdown. The gorilla is stalking off, I guess?

Placated, defeated, same thing, really. And then... When the gorilla was about 20 feet away, he paused by one of the giant cherry trees and, without a sound, began to piss all over it. Piss is the wrong word, perhaps. It was more like a jet stream spattering the tree and ricocheting off it like shrapnel from a grenade.

Was he letting us know that this was his territory and we had trespassed? Did he drink 100 gallons of river water for breakfast that morning? Or maybe he just really, really hated that tree because he was absolutely punishing it with his stream, which continued on for what seemed like minutes. Then as quickly as he had appeared, the gorilla was gone. And so was my desire to ever go on an African safari again. OK. Let me catch up anyone who may be listening to this podcast for the first time in their lives.

Sean and Brockway, they study human behavior and the fringes of human behavior using a method that they have developed. Maybe Sean developed it first, but by specifically examining the worst and weirdest pieces of media out there. Not like, oh, are you going to talk about the movie Madame Web? No, not the crap everybody's talking about. They're really, really digging to the stuff that no one has seen. And these videos, again, this one had 25 views when they sent me the link. Because what is fascinating is that you start to uncover all sorts of madness

that you didn't know existed. So like this guy who has now made three hours worth of epic infomercials that he spent probably months making to sell these just generic, just its male supplements is for, you know, prostate, whatever prostate health, you find out that the thing that he cares about most in the world and things that everyone else cares about is the force of your urine flow, not saying, hey, you're unhealthy, this will make you healthier. He lives in a world where men are constantly judging each other by how hard they can piss. And he has example after example. Yeah, and between species, between tribes, he believed this is a worldwide phenomenon where

if a man hears another man urinating very hard for very long, instead of thinking, wow, that guy really had to go, that he will be in awe and will submit to him as a more powerful male. And this comes through again and again. He does not know why this is weird. He keeps, he kept saying, he's like, I know you don't get it. I'm telling you, you will literally be able to piss over a can, a stack of soup cans is what he said in one of the videos. Like that's 20 yards away, 60 feet away. Your stream will be, it will be literally

harder than the stream from your garden hose. And he keeps hitting that over and over again. It's like, no, listen, listen, I know you want this. I know you want to be able to pee so hard that you can actually damage things with your piss. Here scientifically is how this makes that happen. And just for the listeners, I'm not crazy about your example, Jason, because the theme of Madam Web was how your piss stream can make others submit to you. That was really central to that movie. But otherwise, yes, you're right. Once you lift up the rock, like, out on the edge of society, that's when you find, like, oh my god, there's like a whole bunch of slugs and grubs living under here we didn't know about.

He lights the fuck up. God, he comes to life when it starts describing piss flow. So happy about it. He's splintering that tree. It's splattering everywhere. It's shattering it like shrapnel from a grenade. Piss is the wrong word, perhaps. We need a stronger word than piss. If only there was a more beautiful word for it. If there was only a more magnificent word, he's always brutalizing the urinal. He's punishing that tree. It's so naughty. Just naughty all the time. Joy of it is that in the context, again, the thing's only 20 feet away

from them. That's for a gorilla, that's one leap away from you. It's still one second away from killing you and your wife, right? So the fact that in this moment, he has just come face to face with this thing. He thought he was going to die. Like if this, you were actually there, you would have trouble hearing because the sound of your own blood pumping through your ears. Like your ears would be ringing, you would be sitting there vibrating,

your heart is hammering, like I'm gonna die in the jungle. I'm literally going to have my limbs ripped off by this animal. This is a thing that is going to die in the jungle. I'm literally going to have my limbs ripped off by this animal. This is a thing that is going to happen right now. And then it turns away and while it's still in striking range, it stops to urinate on a tree. But it does it so hard that that is the only thing you remember from the encounter. It's what an amazing pisser this animal was. It's like, good God, he is wailing on that tree with his piss. All that fear turns instantly to awe.

I love just picturing what that looks like. If you take his actual words, that gorilla came out of nowhere, was about to just absolutely savage all of them. It turned away. And right as they're like, maybe we'll live through this, it started pissing and so hard that it was shredding this tree and then it just went on while they stood there in silence for several minutes. He says the word several straight minutes, felt like several straight minutes. The comedy timing of that, of just ambushing them with this terrible, horrible surprise and

then stopping dead and the piss just goes on and on and everybody's like, what do I do? Can we go? Is this like a gorilla thing? I like to think that they pee like dogs too, where they look to you while they pee so that he was making full eye contact with this defeated samurai while he just sawed a tree down with its dick. Yeah, although I'm also sort of picturing that scene from Predator where they're just shooting into the jungle and just cutting down half the jungle with their firepower. I'm just picturing just limbs and leaves flying everywhere and entire just trees falling over Just everyone's screaming into the jungle

If it pees we can kill it. So this is this is his new Backstory is he has had this encounter On his honeymoon that has made him I'm gonna assume this is the origin of like his piss fetish Like he saw that gorilla it got all mixed up with the fear and the adrenaline and like... He saw the look in his wife's eyes, his goddamn horrible wife's eyes. It's his version of Crash. He's just like, oh yeah, that was horrible, but it awakened something. And this is my origin.

You're talking about piss, the movie piss? Yes. This is the movie piss starring Andy Serkis as the gorilla. I'm also imagining that they get back from the honeymoon. Again, this guy's a doctor. I assume they're fairly high upper class people and they're having the fancy little dinner party back at their home and they're drinking their wine. One of their fancy guests asks, how was the honeymoon?

What was Namibia like? Did you go in the jungle? Then the wife says, oh yes, we had this amazing encounter. I was scared to death. We actually came within five feet of a silverback gorilla and actually stared my husband down a little bit. I was terrified. Isn't that right, Leo? Then Leo says, yes. Then for the next 55 minutes, talks about the force of this gorilla's flow. Leo would have interrupted her long before she threw it to him. Like, let me tell you about... No, no, honey, let me tell the story.

The piss stream came from the beast. And in his world, all the other men are just listening, rapt. My God! Did you follow him to steal his secret? His secret food source? No? It's impossible to describe the piss of a gorilla. Gentlemen, until you've seen it splatter into your face, until you've watched it saw one of your wife's legs off. Now, did the gorilla... And I'm sorry that I've already forgotten. He mentioned that the tree it was pissing on was one of the trees that had the special cherries, right?

He said it was a cherry tree. Did the gorilla reach up and eat one of the special piss cherries to demonstrate these cherries Let me do this. No, no, but there is a moment in what happens next. I'll play the next part of the clip Hello My name is dr Leo Shub and if you're a man over 45 who would rather die than go through the Humiliating hell of wearing adult diapers then you need to watch this video right now before it's too late.

Why? Because in the next few minutes I'm going to spit in the face of the greedy pharmaceutical companies trying to trick you into spending hundreds or even thousands of dollars on dangerous medications. Show you why the masculinity destroying scourge of estrogenic inflammation, not DHT, is the real reason your prostate is swelling to the size of a baked potato and choking off your bladder as we speak and introduce you to a simple once-a-day ritual even easier than brushing your teeth that will have you

pissing with the power of an alpha gorilla. Without the cost or side effects of big pharma's dangerous drugs, without surgery that involves cutting out one of the few glands that truly makes you a man, without the nightmare of ever having to wear adult diapers no matter how long you live, and even without the embarrassment of having to admit you have this incredibly common problem to your wife, your girlfriend, or anyone else at all. Anyone else at all. You won't even have to tell your doctor.

Thank God. You know what's, it's almost funnier in audio because like when the gorilla comes in and screams, it sounds twice as crazy. Because when he's talking about it and they show gorilla clip art behind him and the gorilla screams, you're like, well, yeah, that's what gorilla clip art does. And like something about it, like it washes over your brain. But hearing the audio, you're like, is that a gorilla screaming while he's talking about his pee stream? And the clock ticking. It's all just so crazy in audio. The swelling cinematic music as he's talking about challenging Big Pharma to a piss off in Big Pharma. It's all fucking crazy. I actually thought I took that clip a little bit earlier.

What I was referring to Jason was, at the end he does say like, I found this strange luminous cherry that would change everything. So it was literally glowing. He looked up at this tree and found a glowing super cherry that would change everything, but he didn't know it yet because this took place 30 years ago. This was his flashback to his honeymoon 30 years ago. But I also do like the logic of watching the urine stream literally cutting this tree down and then looking up and seeing the glowing video game cherries above the gorilla and immediately having the thought as a man of science, oh, those must be the cherries

that'll let him piss like that. I would have jumped up, ate them, and pissed right on that gorilla. Like I would have assumed it was the Contra power-up. Like, oh, oh, that's how you do it. Okay, this is the game trying to teach me how to get this move. I would have had a full Birdman-Beam War

where our P-streams meet in the middle and they just fight closer and closer to each enemy. Just Birdman-Beam War. I love that that's your reference. Mine would be the Dragon Ball Z like... Okay, sure. That exists too. Much less approachable. That's silly. Everyone remembers the 1967 cartoon Birdman. And how they warred with their beams, specifically.

So he goes into this whole, that's the start of his pitch, about how like if you just listen to him, you won't have to go through the shame of having to admit this incredibly common problem. Did you hear what you just said? That part? That part of it? It can't be incredibly common and so shameful you can never speak about it to anyone. Even your doctor. Four out of three men die in diapers in their 30s. A woman is briefly mentioned. Like, you won't have to say it to your girlfriend. That's where you hear a witch cackle.

Yes. God, he hates women so much. He hates them so much, even if they're just mentioned. Just briefly. Specifically, in the previous two shows we've launched, yeah, the women in his life are never supportive whatsoever of his issues with his, with his dong. And again, he's done two videos for again, for some reason, somebody's just coming in on this episode. The two videos are not, they conflict with each other. They're two distinct videos that tell two distinct, are not, they conflict with each other. her young, sexy boss. And he only wins her back not by being supportive or talking to her or anything.

He takes his own supplement and gets such a hard erection that his erection is harder than the erection of her boss. And so she's- Birdman be more. Yeah. They have a birdman be more. She canceled that trip. She was going to go bang her boss in Mexico. And then after, well enough, she's

like, I'm going to go cancel that work trip. Yeah, there's no need because your your boner is now as hard or harder than my young sexy boss. So I will start being loyal to you again. And then in the other one, the fact that he was had become incontinent due to being 50 something and having a bad prostate. It was just the women in the movie theater and in his life were just pointing and screaming with laughter and saying, you are not a man. Although in his own story, that was internalized. One stranger did say, oh my God, did you piss yourself? But his wife just kind of like looked at him and he put a lot of meaning on that look.

I believe he felt his manhood streaming down his leg. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He felt he felt her respect for him streaming down his leg as what it was, as if it was so much piss, he was pissing away the respect she had for him as a man. So yes, he again, in his mind, when a woman looks at a man, she sees only a penis, including how well does that penis urinate. That is, it is something that is extremely important to the women of the world. And he connects those two things like, well, and also you'll be able to satisfy your much younger wife.

He keeps emphasizing that your young wife will like it. Yeah. And they don't teach you this in sex ed, that like your pee stream needs to be strong enough to like knock a hot dog out of your wife's mouth but like not strong enough to like saw her head off and it's like this they just don't tell this to young boys and so You grow up and it's a lot of experiment that tour guide after that gorilla

Pissed that tree in half that tour guide must have had to just leap on top of his wife and drag her back Because she was trying to follow that gorilla my god. What a man Leo with a letter. He's like, yeah, no, yeah, she's right like a defeated samurai Take my wife. He's trying to like commit her a carry with his own peace dream. He's like It's not strong enough Shaving mere after this Leo goes into his credentials now, this is consistent with his credentials in the other infomercial. Should we call it Gorilla Flow Prime? Because this is the alternate world. He says he's been the on-call doctor for specifically men's health issues

for Pepsi, Walmart, Citibank, IBM, Coca-Cola, FedEx, American Airlines, UPS, Home Depot, and yes, even the FBI. None of them could piss for shit. All of them were just- Our agents aren't paying for shit. Get us- get us shub. This is one of the crazier things. He's added almost all of this.

I think he just said like Pepsi and the FBI in the other video. Yeah. Because he is an actual doctor and one of his specialties is occupational health. And that means if you hurt your knee at Home Depot or whatever in your own workman's cop, you come in and get checked out and he's the guy that will fill out that form for you and say, you would go back to work. And so Dr. Leo thinks that means he's the top. He's the top piss man for FedEx. Yeah, sure. And he has like such terrible ethics.

You know that he's on the side of the company. You know, he's the guy who comes in and says you didn't hurt that at work or you need to get back to work today. That's not even you didn't even tear that ACL all the way. See, we've we've we've discussed this before. We just can't agree. I think he's the guy that helps you scam them. I think he's on your side.

He's still corrupt and it's illegal, but for the common man, I think so. Okay. I'm sure all of those companies love having their names associated with this. With this weirdly racist woman-hating piss play? Hour-long piss play? Hour-long piss radio drama? FBI's top doctor. He goes on to explain that in this long career,

he has helped thousands of men from age 40 to 102 escape the humiliating hell of prostate problems for good. 102! 102! Who's the 102-year-old pissing a rocket stream? Because that would knock you over. It's fucking dangerous. He's just shooting through the nursing home backwards in a wheelchair.

Like, if you piss so hard you could explode a secret cherry tree, as a 102 year old, that's going to shatter all your bones. Yeah. You're just going to fold in on yourself. You're going to implode. Shooting through the living room like a balloon? Even if he's having problems, do not give a 102 year old man this internet poison. It's gonna dehydrate him so bad. Don't do it. Now what this does different is this also includes some new customer testimonials from people whose lives have been saved by their forceful urination. Before I play this, I want to stress this is the complete clip, beginning to end. This is all of them. This is all the testimonials included in this entire film. It is the exact

order they are played in, and I have not doctored any of them. I swear to God. You're not going to believe me when you get to it, but I swear to God, this is all real. Larry, early 40s, athletic. Never thought it could happen to me. It was humiliating. I'm this big, strong guy, but I found myself hiding in the stall,

trying to force out a few drops. I stumbled on your video and watched it like you said, and wow, Mike, 53. I thought I was going to have surgery, which would have killed my sex life for good. Thank you so much, doc. I didn't know how much this problem was ruining my life before you helped me get rid of it for good.

Peter, 87, was forced to wear adult diapers and told it was just the way it was before meeting the doc. I'm going to reveal the shock. Stop. Okay, so. Why? It's like, they're like, hey buddy, can you do a different voice for each email? Like, I can't do different voices.

Hold on a minute. I could, I guess one. I, uh, I don't want to. I, we, we love Christopher Walken. I assume unless he was involved in the death of Natalie Wood, but I don't want to. We love Christopher Walken, I assume, unless he was involved in the death of Natalie Wood, but I don't think anyone thinks that he was. Google that if you don't know what I'm talking about. But he did Ruin Dune too for me, because he's doing the Christopher Walken voice as the emperor of the universe. Christopher Walken has one of those voices

where it sounds like someone doing a Christopher Walken impression. I know that doesn't make sense, but I can't hear that as an actual accent that someone has. And so it's like, oh, the president of the universe is from a planet where everybody talks like this. So he took the first two, he doesn't do any voice. He does just like a normal guy voice, the exact same one for the first two, and it's like, let's shake it up. Let's do one for fun, you know, two for you, one for me. I love it. It's something to keep in mind.

We've been finding this a lot lately in the cursed media we've been looking at that like sometimes we get like a vibe that's wrong, and cause it's easy to forget that mad men can also fuck around. That like this guy's clearly a pee maniac, but like that doesn't mean he can't just throw in a Christopher Walken impression.

Just have a little fun, do some jokes. To be real with you, it's pretty good. That's pretty solid walking. Yeah, no, it's fine. I knew exactly what was happening the second it started. If I could do that, I would also do that for one of those test videos that you could see him be like, somebody's, I gotta get a little praise for this.

Somebody's gotta hear it. Yeah, you just have to remember that even that even lunatics have a sense of humor. You know he's doing that around his weird scam office in Puerto Rico. All of the nurses are like fucking sick of him talking about piss play in a Christopher Walken voice. The spice must flow. That's the best one. That's the best Walken, Jason, yours. He just dips at it. You can hear it at the end of that clip. He just drops it and immediately, no acknowledgement, not even a second to let it breathe right back into the sales pitch.

Like, yeah, it's just a little walking. Yeah, it's a little walking. Something I do. What I like most about it is it's obviously not his first attempt at doing a Christopher walking impression. And it's also not his 100th attempt at doing a Christopher Walken. This is a guy who has freely done his walk in front of people before. And it's just a window into his life that he's got like little talents. Like you're probably can beatbox or something. He's like, you know, I might beatbox a little on the next take.

You know, it's just this guy's got these little landmines in his life. And if you hit him, you're like, oh, no, this guy's been talking like Christopher Walken for an hour. If you're listening to this, and you might, because we're the only people that have ever seen these videos and talked about them. Do you want just in the Walken voice? Next one? Just the whole thing. Whole thing. Whole hour long. Yeah.

My friend Kwame, he was in the bathroom for...for minutes. I'm telling you, that'll be the key. That'll go viral. That's the one thing it's missing. So after that he gives you the hard sell like I'm gonna tell you about this this important medical breakthrough. There's something so important I need to tell you first. This is how he puts all of that. I'm going to reveal the shocking truth about what I call estrogenic inflammation and how it's wreaking havoc with your prostate and putting your health at severe risk in just a moment.

But first, it's incredibly important that I tell you how my own battle with estrogenic inflammation led to the most humiliating, emasculating moment of my life. And reveal why I risked, and almost lost, everything just to bring my shocking and life-changing discovery to you today. Big Pharma is terrified of the incredible truth I'm about to reveal to you and is threatening me with legal action as we speak. So stop whatever you're doing and watch this video right now before I'm forced to take it down for good.

If you have any pride as a man at all, I know you can feel how humiliated I was when I pissed my pants like a six-year-old and realized I was going to die in diapers just like my dad. There's a massive medical conspiracy. They're coming for me. They might kill me for this, but you really need to know I piss myself like a child. So did my dad, my daddy. This YouTube description, actually, they typed out that this video may get taken down as soon as 7 a.m. tomorrow morning. And it's uploaded a year ago. Again, it had 25 views and I think six of those are from us and the various hot

dog people. Um, so no way to apparently did, but I like how he just announces right off the top, Hey, this is a scam. If the government sees this video, they will make me stop selling this. I just need to let you know now. But first, let me tell you about the worst night of my life. About pissing myself at a Marvel movie, because they make them too long. Fucking assholes. So from here on out, is it a complete replay of the last because I admit I watched I started watching it And it seemed like it was frame by frame now the same after this new prologue had been filmed

There are a couple of bits. There's no new material there are a couple of bits that are remixed in like order here and rephrased. And at the end, instead of ending in mid-sentence, which was the funniest possible way to end it, it does the 2PT thing where there's a very long silence and then he goes, still there? Good. And then he starts talking. Unlike 2PT, nothing crazy follows that. It's just like another hard sell.

So it's not really worth talking about. Gorilla flow proceeds as normal from that point. I made a special note when he first discovers the cherry was when he follows his friend to the bathroom and listens to him pee. And he's like, holy crap, this guy's peeing for so long. And then he comes out, he looks at me funny. But then I'm like, dude, you peed for so long, what's your secret? And then Kwame, his friend, just points to like the half chewed food in his mouth. And it's like, oh, that weird red jerky

you're eating all the time. I thought he would put something in to tie it back to the cherry from his honeymoon when he took his wife to the Namibian wilderness to pick cherries with gorillas. I thought he was gonna say, hey, this, no, he didn't. But I thought like, he's going to. He'll add a little ADR and say, like, this is the cherry.

Or, 30 years ago, I saw the glowing cherry. Sean, here's how big of a fool I am. Because when I watched that intro, I thought I see what he's done. Somebody complained that his last video was explosively racist. So he took out all of the stuff about Kwame, including the fact that he was using a different stock photo clip of a different black man every time he referenced his friend. Who also didn't know where his bathroom was. We remember that was the realization that

hit us in the middle of the last podcast. He cut that stuff out and then filmed a new explanation of how he knew about the cherries. He was like, oh, these are okay. I saw these on my honeymoon, saw a grill that could really piss hard and saw it almost cut down a tree with the flow of its urine. Saw there was these weird cherries up there. And then 30 years later when I had to put my father down because of his piss problems, I had to shoot him in the head.

I remembered back. I thought he was going to insert one more clip. I remembered back to my honeymoon and then started researching the Namibian, Namibian gorilla, piss berries, blah, blah, blah, blah. No, he forgot to do that part, but I thought, Oh, this makes perfect sense. This is why he filmed that new prologue. It's so he could cut the racism out and do the non racist cut of the video. But no, he left that stuff in. So it's like I went, you know, 30 years later, my piss problems were making me consider suicide and I knew that my life was over.

I heard my African friend pissing really hard. I listened in on it. I eavesdropped. And then I interrogated him, like, how do you piss so hard at your age? And then he explained that his tribe, where he's from, there's endangered gorillas, and they steal their food to make piss jerky out of. And that they are literally legendary across the African subcontinent for the force of their flows. And so all that was left in so now i have no idea why he added the new prologue unless he just likes to do this i think it's for the walk-in yeah because you heard what it was like when we tried to do a crest for a walk-in we can't do that i thought it was fucking great yours was especially great this is almost 200 episodes of this podcast

now and this is uh this is our form of, and what we're doing right now is saying, yes, but what do these changes make to the Gorilla Flow lore? How does this retcon the Gorilla Flow piss universe? Let's discuss the implications. Like any other podcast would be talking about the Marvel universe, like what does this scene in Madame Webb do where they all, all the women band together and piss so hard that they levitate off of the ground? What does this scene do to the rest of the MCU? And we're here doing it with an infomercial with 20 views. This is this is the dream. This is OK.

This is secretly what I wanted to be on this episode to talk about, because I don't know if you guys realize this, there are YouTube channels. They're like young right wing YouTubers that are still angry about the last Jedi. Like they're still doing videos about how how Disney's woke leadership ruined Star Wars and then how Rey was like a Mary Sue. They're still doing those videos today because they still do huge numbers.

So they just keep going back to that well again and again and again. Like 20 more things that ruined Star Wars and The Last Jedi and spelled the end of Star Wars as we knew it. because it works. It's what their fans want to hear about, so they just keep going back to it. So, Our Well is something that we've gone back to where we represent literally the people talking about it. Over 20% of the total audience of this video are the people on this podcast. And we're now doing a third episode about it. Here's the thing. Listeners might be wondering, but why would Leosha do any of this?

Because of course, the world is absolutely full of these supplements. There's nothing proprietary about this. We looked it up last time. It's the same like urinary health supplements that don't do anything that you can buy anywhere. It's the same crap. It's the same combination of four or five different powders. And we speculated last time, there's just wholesalers that sell the stuff and then you can just slap your own label on it.

And everybody's got, because you can even, this is not even like the only gorilla branded one. Cause I actually went trying to Google this found other people using a slightly different naming convention or whatever. This one is the only one where the guy has put his own face in a video created these epic hour long not just infomercials because everybody's seen infomercials before but infomercials that have long, deep, personal lore. Stories that expose his own piss fetish, his own insecurities about his marriage, his own views of women, and the stories that all make him look like an absolute jackass at every turn, like in every possible way. And that's how you sell baby.

But we asked the question Robert asked earlier about, do you think this was written by AI or whatever? And of course, no, a computer cannot be diseased in this way. The day the computers are able to crank out something like this is the day that we will have one. Because when they were scanning our language to try to learn how to be people, they accidentally picked up the bad parts and now they can't function because they're trying to build a robot body that can piss down a stack of soup cans

from 60 feet away. When you are marketing something in this cursed media environment, Leo Shub realized this is the only way to stand out, which is to attach yourself to the product, make yourself and your personality part of the product, and then unveil yourself to the world as a maniac. The fact that the video only had 25 views. That didn't work. You know, is makes this so much funnier because if this had gone viral and everybody was like had been quoting it or whatever and referencing lines, it's like, okay, yeah, he won. You know, he

made himself look like a weirdo. He really unveiled the part of his personality, but it went viral among a bunch of college bros and they all shared it and it worked. It did what he did. No, it kind of seems like he did all this for absolutely nothing. Like I would love to know exactly how many jars of, of gorilla flow because the website's down. The link that was on, that's on the YouTube uploaded that website's dead. The link that was on the YouTube uploaded,

that website's dead. Amazing. I saw this video, it was on, the version we watched was on a YouTube channel called Off Grid Survivalist of the Year by a user named Purple Heart Recipient. The header of his thing said, "'Daily Christian Faith Survival Health'."

And there's a picture of a book called Dark Age Defense. And like, that's just who this person was. There was all kinds of conspiracy stuff, Trump stuff, and all the thumbnails were like sexy AI girls. There's one I loved where it just said, the only way to plan for emergencies was the name of the video. And it was just like a vulva shot of a girl in tight shorts,

like zoomed in on her butt, that had nothing to do with anything with 30 views. He had the same thumbnail of a woman bent over in a mini skirt in a miniskirt in a grocery store planning ahead for empty grocery store shelves, 20 views. And he just had a full wall of these videos of like big butt AI girls next to like bananas are great for your health. And there's 1000 people exactly like this, just dozens and dozens of YouTube channels linked to products like this scattershot, vagrant sales pitches with no ethics. And I think that it just doesn't work anymore.

Like, like Jason was talking about, I was trying to get viral with this, but I just don't think you can glue tits and insanity to your product and expect it to work. That's just the Internet now. And yeah, that's everything. Yeah. to work. That's just the internet now. Yeah, that's everything. This guy's channel, it follows a very strange story,

which is that it's all, it starts with all prostate videos. All of his early videos are just all prostate stuff. It's all videos like this, a lot of shorter ones, prostate, prostate, only prostate stuff. And then at some point he makes the hard swivel into

survivalist and prepping and then he starts doing them himself he starts actually showing up to host them himself so this is like this is a guy's channel it's the exact like mind-blowing realization you have when you realize dr. Leo's a real guy that's his real name he really wrote all of this and made this video this is a real guy this that's his real name. He really wrote all of this and made this video. This is a real guy, this was his real channel that he's running all these prostate things on. They have like 11 views, it's not for anything. There can't be somebody paying him any meaningful amount of money to do this. But it's a real guy and then he pivots to his true passion,

which as Sean said is big-ass blonde ladies and over videos they're titled like how to prevent banana rot for the apocalypse. It's just his whole life is huge-asses prostate disease and corn hoarding and it is not working. Yeah, no one is paying attention to him. No one is paying attention to it. But if you dive a little bit deeper, you'll find something very strange, which is that Dr. Leo's not the only one making this style of video. Definitely the only one making videos this good. But there is clearly some kind of network at play here. And it's all like this, as Sean said, it's all on channels with like a few dozen subscribers. And all they do is upload clips from from this kind

of shit from hour long stock footage remix infomercials like guerrilla flow, but without the shove magic. Like they don't nobody I've watched so many of them. They don't include mercy killing your piss father. None of them. None of them do. Yeah, that's why I love that you found this. I love our job where we can find and appreciate the special lunatics because the Leo shubs out there, the magic Leo shubs, they're drowning in an ocean of survival gym 999s. You know what I mean? Like just there's a million of this asshole. And there's just so few Leo shubs. Are you guys familiar with a guy named Ray Lindstrom?

Do you know who that is? He was kind of this marketing madman who he was responsible for a lot of like ads and infomercials in the nineties for all kinds of weird products. Like if you saw a commercial for like hypnosis over the phone or 1-900 party lines, there's one that goes viral all the time where it's like, was your cat reincarnated?

Napoleon? Amelia Earhart? Call now and we'll tell you whose ghost is in your cat. 1999 first minute, blah, blah, blah. So like, like he just was responsible for all those. Uh, I think that worked. Um, but, but there's like that barrier of entry where they had to put it on TV. And so it's insanity was notable just because it was on TV.

Like, like when, when you saw like head on applied directly to the forehead, that's had to put it on TV. And so its insanity was notable just because it was on TV. Like when you saw like head on applied directly to the forehead. That's pretty normal for the internet. But for a television commercial, you're like, that's the weirdest shit I've ever seen. And I don't know, I guess I bring it up because the internet doesn't have that. And so when you see a Leo Shub, unless you're like, should I give this any weight in my life, you're just going to say like, this is spam, I'm going to just ignore it. And so like should I Give this any weight in my life. You're just gonna say like this is spam I'm gonna just ignore it and so like I think we're exposed to His level of crazy all day through like chum box ads and and things you see sort of in the corners of pages

you're looking at directly with your eyeballs you just Your mind says ignore this but I don know, there's something about this where you can feel the effort, you can feel the desperation. It just feels special. Leoshub is a special kind of maniac. What I find most fascinating about it, after uncovering that there are at least hundreds of these videos that are, the magic length seems to be 45 minutes to an hour long. They're all like this with this stock footage. They're very clearly hand curated like a person on AI is going through them and assembling them, writing the script, narrating them. It has to take it looks cheap, it's stock footage, whatever. You still have to do it. whatever, you still have to do it.

It takes a lot of money to make something like that in, in internet ad terms anyway, where you can just like blast out some, some cheap, you know, bullshit. So there's somebody, there's some vast network at play that is making these with a very identifiable style. Like they start with the countdown. They start with that weird doomsday countdown that all of Leo's do. They're like, if you wait to the hard pitch at the end, it's always like, something has eliminated all of our supplies. You have to order exactly six bottles from us, or the next time you come, you won't find it. It won't be there. The pricing is the same. There's

like a template, which means there's like, it can't be individual. There has to be a company that is at the very least making these ads for somebody. That will do Walk-In on command. If you say, hey, please do some of this ad, ask Christopher Walk-In, they'll be like, absolutely. No, because Dr. Leo is a real guy. We found the picture of him and it's the actual guy in the stock footage. He's an actual dude with the medical license that we found, the medical practice that we found. So he's a real guy doing this.

How the hell does that happen? How does he inject himself into like a vast churning network of templated... Maybe it's his company. Maybe he did it. He's the mastermind and this is his like, he's the railing. If we were real journalists, we could find this out that there may be like, that there know that there may be like a workshop where they teach you, like, here's the format, it works.

Do this is ideal time we found. Cause if you get them engaged this long, they're more likely to buy because of the sunk cost of the time spent. And on a like week, we will give you a discount on access to the stock video library or whatever. But it's weird that they obviously have not, because if this had been just AI chum where they'd thrown together a bunch of stock videos with a voiceover talking about, you know, obviously prostate health, we wouldn't have cared. It's the extra flair that Dr. Shub threw on there and just burning his own reputation

as a doctor and as a sane human. To the ground. Betraying himself as just a dick, as as a crazy person as someone who has no interest in science or in medical ethics, like even his own description of like, yeah, we brewed this in our in my garage in my garage. And, and this is, you know, it's like, don't don't don't tell Big Pharma about this. Don't tell your doctor about this. Just, you know, and then with the the two PT throwing in all of these extra

claims like, Oh yeah, a little also improve your gut health. It'll make your dick bigger. It'll improve the size and volume of your ejaculate and flavor. Yeah. The flavor. That's what I forgot about that. Jesus. There's so much I forgot.

Tried to sell it to women because they made the semen taste so good. Because again, in his mind, that's how he sees women again, only caring about men through their as what how their penises perform and nothing else, nothing about their personalities, their jobs, anything whatsoever. It's purely how hard do you ejaculate? How far do you urinate? How long do you urinate? How hard do you get?

Like it would sex. It's not even about technique. It's purely about how rigid is your boner. Yeah, that too. Yeah. I do think Jason's right though that somewhere along this grift line is where the money was actually made. Someone sold a seminar on how to make a video to sell your stupid supplement and that guy

made money and then Dr. Leosheb paid that guy $18,000 or whatever to learn how to make exactly this video that are all over the internet and nobody cares about these videos. Or if they did, they stopped several years ago. No, no, I couldn't find a single one that had any meaningful amount of views. Nobody cares about these videos.

At one point, one of these was like the Miss Cleo of crazy clip art stream of consciousness sales techniques. That guy made a zillion dollars and wants to do exactly what that guy did. I cannot find the source. I would love to find that if you find where this style originated. I did find a few key evolutions along the way. I found one for a thing called Pocket Farm. And it's the same formula. There's no narration in this one. It's just text, but it's still saying it's from the point of view of a guy.

And what that did right is that stole the personal tragedy, because they don't always have a personal tragedy. That stole, or perhaps originated, Leo Shub's personal tragedy angle, because that one starts off with this man who used to be a farmer saying, raiders came along and burned my farm to the ground, and they tried to lynch my entire family for the crime of growing our own food, and they didn't even want it, they just hated our food. And as it goes along, it turns out they were secretly working for a food corporation trying to destroy their competition. Yeah, Monsanto. Every time.

Yeah, they were agents of big food. They were big food. But even that kind of follows, because Pocket Farm has marketed two crazy preppers and survivalists. You're like, that's the story they would want. And it lacks that chub magically, because magic because Shub was for just piss power. Like nobody wants that. And then he tried to tie the death of his father and like the destruction of his marriage into piss power. It's that like complete disconnection there. I found another that doesn't revolve like Roadhouse style, like Gorilla Flow revolves around the force of your piss. The whole world does everything about it.

It has like this... It's for a berry. It's for a berry that gives you telepathy, and it's pretty good. It's the second best one I've found. But I think that mistake... The mistake is its market again, like where, where Pocket Farm was like, I can kind of see what you're talking about, like nobody's, nobody's gonna come along and try to hang you for growing potatoes. That's fucking crazy. But maybe a survivalist thinks that way.

I'll just, I'll just play the clip. For thousands of years, the pineal gland has been revered for the mystical powers it possesses. You can see these ancient depictions of Sumerian gods holding pine cones, which are widely accepted to represent our pineal gland. The ancient Egyptians also understood the sacred power of the pineal gland, as made evident by the eye of Horus. The eye of Horus and the human brain are remarkably similar in shape, with the pineal gland corresponding to the eye of Horus' pupil.

Perhaps the most revealing is that at the center of the Vatican, one of the most holy sites in the world, sits a giant pinecone-shaped statue. And if that weren't enough to raise some eyebrows, the staff the Pope carries with him also has a pinecone engraved on it as well. Case closed. Case closed. Case closed. Pinecones of the pineal gland. Pineal gland is psychic powers. And this promises, this is a strange, a weird berry that unlocks your mental powers. It has about 500 views in about a year. And it's completely nuts. And one of the craziest things is that like Leo Shub,

it has an actual human host, a guy named Eric Thompson, who puts his face out there. He starts talking straight to the camera and makes all of these very crazy claims. He says he's a dentist, so it's another doctor. And after Leo, I think if I looked him up, he'd probably really be a dentist. In his backstories that he had a really annoying patient that he hated, but he turned out to know the secret of the universe,

and that's that fluoride buildup on your pineal gland is like hard minerals on an old water faucet, and that's why you're not psychic, is because you brush your teeth with toothpaste. So you get in there with the tooth scraper and you get rid of the fluoride? Is that... No, it's like a berry that is like toothpaste for your psychic gland. Oh, okay, I get it, I get it. Yeah, you get it. You get it. It inserts a nice little special amount of crazy there, but it doesn't have that same Leo magic. Like, it's promising to do something amazing.

It's promising your psychic powers will get you love. It'll get you a job. It'll get you mystical riches. It'll get you it'll just get you superpowers like actual superpowers. Leo has that magic of he wants to be like straight shooter. So he kind of wants to be like a little dude working a little blue. So he'll like, the 2PT especially, like, I'll tell it to you straight. It'll make your fucking dick so sweet. He could just talk about urine flow. There's a lot of medical terms for the things he's talking

about, but he'd much rather talk about sawing a tree in half with your fucking piss, with your fucking dick. Yeah, that's another thing that I like about him. Vampires suck the blood out of your dick. Yeah, that's another thing that I like about him. Vampires suck the blood out of your dick. Yeah, it's just Yeah, that was from so, so, you know, people complain that if you try to look up a recipe on the internet, they all start with like six paragraphs of my mother used to make this for me back when we back in the old country and Estonia and today you know every morning we used to get up and the smell of the stew and blah blah blah and people get annoyed because like just get to the

recipe. The reason people do that is because now that content can be automated. The only way to separate out your thing is to put your personality in it. This is a thing every author knows now. This is a thing every, anybody knows now. That when information can just be spammed, the only thing that makes people seek out yours as being unique is that they know the person attached to it. So this is why all the, like there's no advertising as effective as influencer advertising where Mr. Beast has this goddamn line of candy bars or whatever and people buy them. Tell me you know I'm a beast head.

Is that what his fans are called, beast heads? I can't even imagine. Who would give any kind of a shit? Who above the age of four would fucking care? Beast friends. So I give any kind of a shit who above the age of four would fucking can be friends This is why Alex Jones is a multi-millionaire This is why Joe Rogan is probably getting close to being a billionaire at this point Am I correct about that probably getting me close to be billionaire with a B because it's not just hey This is my show where we smoke weed and talk to a celebrity for five hours. It's also Hey this brain fuel herb if you just throw that on the shelf Yeah, you'll sell some of it people happen to stumble across the jar of it at Walgreens and think oh

I would like to be smarter, but when it comes from Joe Rogan straight shooter regular guy You know you like him. That's a brand you can trust. And so if you're going to sell snake oil, that's how you do it. And it does not work if Joe Rogan is just a normal smart person. He has to be a weed smoking weirdo talking about, you know, talking with flat earthers and talking about UFOs and all of that stuff. And for some reason that in 2024 is how things are sold. You have to become an influencer

and you put your own face on it. And that is what Leo Shub was trying to do because he instinctively knew this is how it works. If you can make people into Shubheads, make them like you as a person, then they will buy your thing and try to make himself seem a little bit quirky and weird and odd and kind of defiant and a rebel and all of that. It all plays into it. It's also calculated, again, making the fact that it only has 25 views

a thousand times funnier. It is so funny. There's like a downstream, like, there's like manure runoff from this grift where these products get reviewed a lot. So if you look for a Gorilla Flow, you'll find a lot of like random men and women getting to the bottom of it, like doing reviews of it, and they're not hiding from the word scam. So you'll see like like a woman will come on and review Gorilla Stream. I found a lot of these where she's like, hey, just today, the video, we're going to check and see if Gorilla Stream is a scam. Nope, but I don't have a prostate.

So do your own research. And like this is that's all paid. That's all paid. They had to pay them some $40 or some trivial money. It only cost like $40. So it'd be stupid not to just buy a whole bunch of them. A lot of them fully embrace the scam, and they'll be like, hey, Gorilla's flow is completely exposed as a scam. Then you watch the video and it's like,

no, it actually works pretty good. Obviously, this is so that when someone actually exposes this as a scam, they'll end up second in Google's results. Because our children will inherit a world run by robots programmed and deceived by the dumbest, worst people. I guess that's the lesson we've learned today from Leo Shub. I guess that's the point that I'm trying to make is that on one side of the war, you have the robots. And on the other side, the resistance is the weird cult grifters. Because the leo shep is like i'm trying to break through in a world of automated bots or whatever cuz i can generate a banner ads for their fake powders at the rate of a million per second that me using my weird freak show personality. using my weird freak show personality, I'm going to cut through and using this human touch, the kind of crazy that can only come from a flesh and blood human being, that's how I'm going to beat the robots. So our version of where we were picturing a Terminator type war between

these cybernetic metal skeletons against human, you know, ragtag human survivors. Instead, it's all in the realm of this software where it's the automated bots on one side and the weirdo grifters on the other. Instead of time travel, it's piss play. I still wish I could, I wish I could talk about Sam Forster and that weird book he wrote if we don't feel like we've gone too long. I think it's very relevant, yeah. While we were preparing for this, it went viral.

The main character on Twitter yesterday was a journalist I've never heard of named Sam Forster who only has a few thousand followers on Twitter. He's written for some outlets, and he announced that he was about to publish his self-published book and that he had spent the last few months, I'll just read out his announcement tweet, last summer I disguised myself as a black man, he's white, and traveled throughout the United States to document how racism persists in American society. The book is called Seven Shoulders, it is one of the hardest things he's ever done as a journalist. And then in the announcement

on Amazon, it says that Seven Shoulders is the most important book on race ever written. Amazing. It's the most important book on American race relations that has ever been written in this was again such amazing backlash and outrage it was trending all day and his original announcement tweet has. Fourteen million views i'm looking at it right now because of all the leo's gotta be so mad all the people dunking on it and then the the book finally came out today as they were recording this, and it immediately came out as the number one book in racism on Amazon on that subject. Because of course, he got more publicity than I will get in the 10 months I'm going to spend promoting, I'm starting to worry about this black box of doom, which is going to include me appearing on something like 40 hours of podcasts in the light, just in the last month that it comes out and we'll go about $30,000 out of

pocket on various promotional things. I'm paying for myself and sending out review copies to about 60 different journalists and reviewers that I sent out myself and then there's a publicity push from the publisher. I will not reach 10% of what this guy did just by making himself Twitter's freak show main character of the day. Now long term, will this work for him? Probably. How long have some of these grifters kept the grift going? You'd have to pivot to like direct hate to like sort of stay in that community. I get your frustration Jason, but you need to set aside your pride.

You've just been shown a method that works. I think you know what you need to do for those podcasts. Now we're talking. Disguise yourself as a black man. That's it. I love that he wrote this book because blackface is not very good. Like you can tell. There's almost nobody that has ever done like a real passable blackface. They caught Rachel Dolezal after she became the president of the Spokane NAACP. Well, he's referencing the book Black Like Me by John Howard Griffin, came out in the 1960s.

Famous book, a lot of us read it in high school where it was at the time, again, the 60s were a different time. And back then, like the only way to get through to white readers to say, because I've read Black Like Me, it's, you know, his whole point was he actually was not pretending to be black. He just darkened his skin and then just walked around with darkened skin. And his point in that book and Black Like Me was he's like, if somebody asked me what I'm doing or who I am, I'm just going to tell them I just, I dyed my skin dark. Like he, do you see I'm saying, like his whole thing was,

I'm gonna see how people treat me based purely on my skin being darker. I'm talking like myself, same credentials, same job, same everything, the only thing I've changed is the color of my skin. And of course, he, this was the 1960s, he, you know, had to sit in a different part of the bus and underwent all of these little petty discriminations

and humiliations. It was a very compelling piece of work because his point he was making was he was not going around doing an accent. The whole idea is like everything about me- Oh, you know Sam Forrester is though. You know Sam Forrester is talking some shit. I would bet anything he's talking shit. He said he's a black man, which means he's going around in blackface.

He spent however long he's had, eight months, something like that. Like, so it's not quality blackface. So what he really did was write a book about how people treat you when you're doing blackface everywhere. I think the first, the knee-jerk reaction that I think most people responded to this tweet with was like, you know there are black people

and we can ask them what it's like to spend eight months as a black person. Like, we don't need whites for this anymore. Yeah, but has anybody done a book about what happens if you do blackface and everybody knows it? I mean, that's the real impression. Do either of you know how many books are published every day in the United States? A million.

No number would surprise me. Yeah, it's over a thousand. 500,000 books were published in 2023. So that's what is that like 1100 a day something like that? I don't know. So of all those thousand books that were written, many of them are actually really good and will never be read. The vast majority will be read by zero or one or two or three or four or five people. Like most books that are published, do you understand listeners sell like 27 copies? Even stuff you see at the bookstore, like there's books at the bookstore,

that they those will have sold less than 100 copies in their entire run. This guy, like I'm looking at the Amazon sales ranks, he's not number one like an overall, but it's like number 15,000 is where it is right now after most of the day, he has sold some copies of this book. This book has already, after one day self-published has sold more than most books published this year will sell and did it by doing the look at B, I'm a little freak thing by doing it.

And I feel like, you know, for people who don't know the context here, I joined TikTok two years ago because the world told me the only way to promote your books is to put your own big stupid face on the camera and make it all about you because people want to know you. And then once you've convinced them that you are smart and likable and interesting and clever then they will buy your book but just saying hey I wrote a book about blank that doesn't do anything because AI can write books now do you understand AI is cranking out crime thrillers or whatever at the rate of several per second so no matter what your book is about that's not gonna do

anything but to be able to put yourself out there and say, hey, look, I'm a weird little freak. I bet you're wondering what I wrote in my weird little freak book. That is how you do it. In other words, we are all Dr. Leo Shubbs now, if we want to have careers. So get on that TikTok and start talking Jive. Already done. What it is. The craft is me trap is me trap is me trap is me trap is me trap is me trap is me trap is me trap is me trap is me trap is me trap is me trap is me trap is me trap is me trap is me trap is me trap is me trap is me trap is me trap is me trap is me trap is me trap is me trap is me trap is me trap is me trap is me trap is me trap is me trap is me trap is me trap is me trap is me trap is me trap is me trap is me trap is me trap is me trap is me trap is me trap is me trap is me trap is me trap is me trap is me trap is me trap is me trap is me trap is me trap is me trap is me trap is me trap is me trap is me trap is me trap is me trap is me trap is me trap is me trap is me trap is me trap is me trap is me trap is me trap is me trap is me trap is me trap is me trap is me trap is me trap is me trap is me trap is me trap is me trap is me trap is me trap is me trap is me trap is me trap is me trap is me trap is me trap is me trap is me trap is me trap is me trap is me trap is me trap is me trap is me trap is me trap is me trap is me trap is me trap is me trap is me trap is me trap is me trap is me trap is me trap is me trap is me trap is me trap is me trap is me trap is me trap is me trap is me trap is me trap is me trap is me trap is me trap is me trap is me trap is me trap is me trap is me trap is me trap is me trap is me trap is me trap is me trap is me trap is me trap is me trap is me trap is me trap is me trap is me trap is me trap is me trap is me trap is me trap is me trap is me trap is me trap is me trap is me trap is me trap is me trap is me trap is me trap is me trap is me trap is me trap is me trap is I'm so new, new, new, new, new, new, new, new, new, new, new, new, new, new, new, new, new, new, new, new, new, new, new, new, new, new, new, new, new, new, new, new, new, new, new, new, new, new, new, new, new, new, new, new, new, new, new, new, new, new, new, new, new, new, new, new, new, new, new, new, new, new, new, new, new, new, new, new, new, new, new, new, new, new, new, new, new, new, new, new, new, new, new, new, new, new, new, new, new, new, new, new, new, new, new, new, new, new, new, new, new, new, new, new, new, new, new, new, new, new, new, new, new, new, new, new, new, new, new, new, new, new, new, new, new, new, new, new, new, new, new, new, new, new, new, new, new, new, new, new, new, new, new, new, new, new, new, new, new, new, new, new, new, new, new, new, new, new, new, new, new, new, new, new, new, new, new, new, new, new, new, new, new, new, new, new, new, new, new, new, new, new, new, new, new, new, new, new, new, new, new, new, new, new, new, new, new, new, new, new, new, new, new, new, new, new, new, new, new, new, new, new, new, new, new, new, new, new, person toy genius, and Hulk Hogan on a sentient speedboat, they are the Supremes. Aaron Crosston, Adrian H, Aiden Moak, Alex Nolenberg, all raised by wolves, Alpha Scientist Jabo, Un-Andy, Armando Nava was raised by wolves. Rich wolves. Bim Talzin. Brandon Garlok. Brian Saylor.

Burrito. All wolf kids, everyone. Serol. Chase. Cheddar Wolf is one of the wolves who keeps raising these damn kids. Clementine Danger. Common Sense was orphaned by a Skeletor

and has vowed revenge on all skeletons. ALL. SKELETONS. Craig Lemoine. Quavis. Dan B was raised by sentient speedboats who have sadly passed. Vroom vroom Dan B! That means I'm sorry for your loss in speedboat.

Daniel Sloan. Devon the Rogue Supreme. David Shull. Dean Costello was raised by wolves and violently destroys all clothing, unless it's from his natural prey animal, the silkworm. Delta Foxtrot. Doug Redmond is raising wolves. That's... get out of here Doug Redmond.

Drayson. Dusty's rad title. Eric Rion. Every zig was raised by coyotes and is frequently a victim of wolf racism. Fancy Shark. Gareth is a little toy genius. For the government. Nice try narc genius.

Get out of here. Jell-o-ho. Good Satan and his Hot Witches. Greg Cunningham. Hambone. Haraka. All Feral Wolf children. It's a real societal problem. Harvey Penguini.

Honk. Javer Al-Aidin is howling. It sounds... sad. Wait. That's not sadness. It's party. It's party, Wolf, everybody! James Boyd. Jared Mountainman. Jeff Horaske. Jim Salter was raised by snakes. Watch him slither. Yeah. John Dee. John McCammon. John Minkoff. Joseph Surrows.

Pretty much the whole J-section, all Wolf Kids. Josh S. Joshua Graves. Justin B. was raised by ants. And now with the speed and strength of an ant, he faces a lot of difficulty in day-to-day life. Ken Paisley, K&M, Kumutlas, Kyle Campbell. Lane Haygood is a wolf child psychologist, here to do some potty training. Thank fucking God you're here Lane Haygood,

this place, I think it's everyone's territory. Lisa, Lucas Keen is out of control on pure distilled Hulkster scent. It's banned in 92 countries and for good reason. M. Jahee Chappelle. Mark Mahoney. Matt Riley. Max Faroi is a sentient speedboat who kills Skeletors. Not so fun now, is it, Skeletors?

Michael Dillon. Michael Lair. Mickey Loman. Mike Stiles. Moju. Not so fun now, is it, Skeletorz? Michael Dillon Michael Lair Mickey Loman Mike Stiles Moju Mort was raised by wolves. Hot Wolves.

What? She's a whilf, Mort, that's all I'm sayin'. Mr. Bob Gray ND Neil Bailey Neil Schaeffer Neku104, Ornry Weevil was raised by feral toy geniuses and only speaks the language of exploding pterodactyls, Ozzy Olin, Patrick Herbst, Rachel, Rhiannon, Sarkovsky, Sean Chase, Spotty Reception.

Static Dust is an adoptive wolf parent taking in unwanted human children and teaching them to bite and snarl. We've got Mother's Day, we've got Father's Day, where's Wolf Day cowards? Super Knot, Ted H, Thomas Kavatsos, Timmy Leahy, Toasty God was raised by wolves and still speaks fluent wolf to this day. If things go south next election, that wolf passport is gonna come in handy. Tommy G. Velo.

Booster can turn into any animal, but it hurts. So much, don't ask her. Waylon Russell. Zack and Ava. Benjamin Sironin. Boy. Hulk. Boy. Benjamin Sironin Boy Hulk Boy

Little Person Toy Genius Boy Sentient Speedboat Boy Skeletor Let's send him to live with the Navajo everybody!