The Dogg Zzone by 1900HOTDOG - Dogg Zzone 9000 - Episode 182, Playing It Straight Finale with Lydia Bugg

Episode Date: July 3, 2024

Seanbaby wrangles Brockway and guest, Lydia Bugg, for the finale of Playing It Straight - the 2004 reality show about hunting secret gays for profit. We allowed this! We did this! There is no such thing as innocence.

1-900-HOT-DAUGHT 1-900-HOT-DAUGHT Our podcast slams with maximum hype Say hot dog podcast, word Yeah When you taste that nitrate power You're in the dog zone for an hour Come on

You know the number 1-900 1-900-1900 Hot Dog 1-900-1900 Hot Dog 1-900-1900 Hot Dog 1-900-1900 Hot Dog Yeah, 9,000. Welcome to the Dog Zone, 9,000, the official podcast of 1900hotdog.com. It's the final website.

Go to our Patreon and subscribe to get the classic combination of journalism and comedy the rest of the world decided to outsource to robots and show to robots to generate ads for robots. We're at patreon.com slash 1900hotdog. Subscribing keeps alive the idea of humans writing jokes along with bonus podcasts and discord events. I'm Sean Baby from the internet and my cohost is an official Bunz calendar man.

As soon as Congress passes the bill to introduce the month of hunk of ember, he's Robert Brockway. Write your Congress people folks. I mean, change starts with you. Here's a Brockway fact. I'm the face model for your least favorite video game

character. No follow up questions. So relevant to today's podcast. We're joined again by horse psychic and dead horse psychic. She's Lydia Bog brought to you by the new tropical dead horse Starburst. I'm thrilled to be here. Thank you so much for having me. This has been such a joy in my life. Excellent. It's always great to have you. We've obviously been working together for a long time. Now we've unearthed hundreds of dark and forbidden artifacts together. How do you think this show, Playing It Straight, ranks among them? Oh, it's pretty friggin high. I've been referring to it as the

gay hunting show. Yeah, I'd say on a hot dog scale of like, you know, one to 10, this is like a solid nine, eight and a half. Wow. Yeah, it's up there. You could literally. Very solid score. If this was called gay hunter, nobody would bat an eye. It would be the exact same show. Yeah. Yep.

It'd be almost more descriptive because playing it straight, you could be like, oh, is it a show about ethics? Like, oh no, the opposite. Oh, very much not. No, no, no, no, no. But Gay Hunter, you're like, yeah, I know what that show is. If it came out today, that's what it would be called, the simplified title. Let's plug something before we get too far into talking about, I guess we're calling it Gay Hunter now to be more accurate.

Where can people find more of you besides of course 1900hotdog.com? Yes, every Monday on 1900hotdog.com and also on all social media as at younolidia, like Y-O-U-K-N-O-W Lydia because I was more concerned with being clever than easy to find. That's the way to do it, I think. Yeah. There's probably someone out there with like the at cool and just nobody cares. He's like, ah, everyone's gonna come to me

cause I have the coolest name. Nobody's gonna give a shit. Speaking as a foundational member of 1-900 hot dog, I have no idea what you're talking about. Let's recap to the listeners. We watched the first two episodes of the nightmare of early 2000s reality trash, playing it straight. If you haven't listened yet, go back and also we're sorry. I episodes of the nightmare of early 2000s reality trash playing it straight If you haven't listened yet go back and also we're sorry I'm sorry on behalf of all straights and all of 2004 the show was fucked Liddy

you want to just quickly explain just in case no one listened to me in right now and They didn't go back and watch or they've just forgotten the premise entirely Yeah, so there's a 21 year old girl far too young to make the decision to be on the show I feel like who was told she was gonna be on a regular reality show like The Bachelorette We're just a bunch of men compete for her her love and then was told when she got there actually What's happening is some of these men? We're not gonna tell you how many but spoiler alert It's a lot, are actually gay. And at the end of the competition,

if you choose any straight man to fall in love with, then you win and you get a million dollars to split with the straight man you have chosen. However, if you choose a gay man who has infiltrated your heart, then he gets a million dollars, a million dollars, and you get nothing. That's a very, very good recap.

We all watched the final episode for this podcast episode. We are now allowed to do our own research. So we all come in now after being allowed to Google around on the show to see the winner and like what happened, where are these men now, what murders did they commit? I actually watched the entire series. Oh, before we talk. Yeah, just let commit? I actually watched the entire series. Oh, well, oh my. So before we talk, yeah, just let me quickly run you through the whole thing. It honestly shouldn't take more than five minutes. It is a terrible show. And over the course of

40 minutes, maybe half a thing will happen. That's amazing because I have questions. After seeing the final episode, I need to know what happened to Luciano and all that. If you remember at the end of episode two, Jackie kicked out two, or no, I'm sorry, episode one she kicked out two straight men because she is a dumb idiot with a conservative grandmother's gaydar. And in the second episode, she kicked off two more men

and only one of them was straight. And here's what's crazy, as you both know, I'm sure by now, of the 14 starting men, only five of them were straight. So she'd already kicked off three of the five straight men after two episodes. So her gaydar is bad. And to remind you of how bad her gaydar is, one of the straight men she kicked off

for being a secret gay had just turned down a man for sex in a hot tub, not by saying, hey, we can't fuck now, we gotta play it cool until the end of the show. He ran out of the hot tub and said, ha ha ha, Eddie is gay, he just tried to make out with me in the hot tub. And between those two options, she decided Eddie, the man who tried to have sex with the other one, was the straight one. So we learn at the start of episode three that Eddie has left the show. I guess trying to have

sex with the straight man in the hot tub after a couple tequilas let at least him know he wasn't cut out for pretending to be a heterosexual, even for this, the dumbest woman to ever travel forward in time 200 years. So he just quit. He was just like, he just quit. Did they reveal his orientation? Yes, he's, he's gay. Oh, I don't know if I, I don't know if I like that. We did see him try to have sex with a man in a hot tub. I don't know if I like it if, if one of the gay men mysteriously disappears and then the producers come out and just go, he was gay. Let's move I don't know if I like that. We did see him try to have sex with a man in a hot tub. I don't know if I like it if one of the gay men mysteriously disappears and then the producers come out and just go, he was gay, let's move on.

Yes. It's weird you said was. He may very well still be gay out there somewhere. We didn't see the body. I just wondered if he just came in with some questions and then answered them for himself. And then they were like, well, now our numbers are all off or something. Right. No, I think he was verified gay before they started the show.

He was also very flamboyant. Like they had a lot of clips of him on the show, like, like theatrically singing. I am from Cuba. Things like that, where you're like, that didn't seem heterosexual to me, but whatever. The point is that he's gone through no fault of Jackie's. And the next episode, she kicked off Chad, who had just completely stopped pretending to be straight. He was just like having fun with the boys, but she kicked him off seemingly at random and was absolutely shocked when

she found out he was gay. Next, she kicked off Lee and John, if you remember them, actually because they hadn't, who would? They hadn't tried to sleep with her. And again, she was very shocked when she found out these men were gay. Yeah, that was her whole, her whole like method of testing them seemed to be who was groping her and who was not. And it's like, do you think gay men never kiss women?

Like- She was still stuck on like such antiquated stereotypes. Like there was an interview I saw with her where she was like talking about Judy Garland. Like, yeah They're like, yeah, normally the gay men you could tell because they like Judy Garland. And I'm like, who told you that? This is 2004. They don't even know who she is. Yeah. Her daughter is elderly at this point. Lee and John, yes. I wanted to say that Lee was a gay Republican, which is more of a mad TV sketch than a coherent

idea for a person. To be fair to Jackie, how would you know? So I did not find much about Lee. There can't be too many gay Republicans out there. So he I should have been able to Google him. But nothing really came up. He kind of vanished. I found all of these guys really hard to Google, which I felt like was probably their intention. They did not give their last names in almost anything that I could find.

There was only a handful that had like last names attached because the rest of them, rightfully so, were just like, I'm going to disappear into a dark corner pop culture. A couple of them really did have, like they realized what they were doing was wrong. Like they're like, I'm hurting a woman. I'm doing a thing I like swore I would stop doing after I came out in high school. You know what I mean? They're like, I'm hurting a woman. I'm doing a thing I like swore I would stop doing after I came out in high school.

You know what I mean? They're like, I'm pretending to be a person I'm not. For whom? For what? And like they really had- Oh right, a million dollars. Oh yes, of course. It's that million dollars, man. So episode five is when shit started to get crazy.

This is when they arm wrestle for Jackie's love. And Luciano, who has twice the width of the other men, is just over the topping his way through every single man until he gets to Banks. Now, Banks has decided he's going to defeat Luciano despite physics. I don't quite know how to explain this, but he basically invents a nutcracker

with his own humorous, and humorous, I guess. He commits so hard to winning this impossible match that he twists his body in a way that his arm had like fucking no choice but to snap in half. And he immediately just goes into shock and lays down to die. He just doesn't say anything.

He's not like, oh, Jesus, guys, call a hospital. He's just like fucking quietly lays down to die. He's not trying to spin it in any way So here's where I learned that something's gonna sound obvious after I say it if you want to see who in a room is gay Snap a man in half because all of the gay men Gasped like cartoon housewives hiding from a mouse. It is hilarious Luciano who just broke the man's arm, had to walk away and cry.

And he spent the rest of the episode weeping and apologizing. And so here's where we see the emergence of the show's Ozymandias. It's Chris. Now, Chris is gay, obviously, and unashamedly gay, which means he has a working gaydar, and he has turned informant. His strategy on the show is all strategies except seducing Jackie. So he tells Jackie that Bradley and Luciano are gay and she just believes him because why wouldn't she?

She's an idiot. He's not trustworthy or anything. She just doesn't know it's an option to trick people. She wants to check out his theory. So she's like, hey Bradley, come make out with me. And Bradley kind of grew on me. He's kind of, I started calling him blow job lip Val Kilmer and he melts her.

He starts making out with her and she just turns into a puddle. And then she makes out with Luciano. She's like, Luciano, I want to check and see if you're gay. He makes out with her and her panties melt right the fuck off her body. Doesn't even try to hide it. She's just like, oh, Luciano, Luciano.

Like he can't even leave the room because she's just like calling his name. She's now a horny puddle and then she kicks them both off the show because Chris told her they were gay. Oh my God, so this is the same episode where the guy breaks his arm or is this right after? Yes, yeah, same episode.

It's the same episode? Yeah. So the guy, he breaks a man's arm and then she makes out with him. Yes. And then she kicks him off? Wow. For being gay. Yeah, because guy, he breaks a man's arm and then she makes out with him. Yes. And then she kicks him off. Wow. For being gay.

Yeah, cause she heard he was gay. This is the most confusing thing that has ever or will ever happen to Luciano. Like his life must have been relatively simple being that beautiful up until right now. Yep. And then he just. He didn't know life could be hard until now.

To be fair, Bradley also kind of fucked up and he said like over the campfire, he's like, man, I'd love to win that million dollars. I mean, I mean the half a million dollars. Oh, because of my straightness. That's like hair dryer all over again. God damn. Yeah, that's way worse than hair dryer gate.

Yeah, they covered that extensively on the show that he also owns a hair dryer. So now Chris is her warm tongue and she trusts him completely because he was right about these two dudes. He tells her that he also owns a hairdryer. So now Chris is her warm tongue and she trusts him completely because he was right about these two dudes. He tells her that he doesn't need the money because he like was a software developer and then he got into real estate.

So he legitimately does not need the million dollars. He's here for the love, but he never tries to touch her. As far as the editing shows, he's the only one to try any money schemes because like you hear a million dollars, you're like, okay, this is enough money to like kill a man over or at the very least like wheel and deal. Like you'd be like, OK, Jackie, look, I know we're not clicking, but I will give you two hundred thousand of the five hundred thousand.

You know what I mean? You would try to like negotiate with all this money. He's the only one who tries that. He's like, if you pick me, I will donate my $500,000 to charity. And even he's like, kind of put the 500,000 in quotes. He's like, the 500,000 because like, we're not pretending I'm straight. Anyway, it's fucking nuts. More guys didn't try stuff like this. I feel like out of 14 guys, at least 10 of them would have told her, you know, pick me and I'll give you some money. It's amazing more gay men didn't just make an alliance here and be like, okay,

let's also let's all get $150,000 and just get this bitch out. Absolutely. Well, you have to remember too, is that the producers were telling them you're doing social justice, you're doing good in the world with our good good show, you know, so I think that's why the money didn't... I can't believe they tried to spin that. Yeah. Imagine the absolute meltdown they had if they only put five straight men on the show, and then after the second episode, three of them are gone. They suddenly have to face the idea, oh shit, we could knock out all of the straight men in the fourth episode very, very easily here. They have to go into rigged mode, at the very least into into telling, like trying to steer the gay men. Like, I'm sure they told Luciano, like, it's time to arm wrestle.

You got to butch it up. And he went way too far, snapped a man in half and then cried the rest of the episode. And she she was kind of suspicious of the crying. She's like, I read somewhere that gay men cry a lot. And Luciano has been crying for four straight hours. Hmm. I'll have to work in like Wizard of Oz in there later

to see if he enjoys the works of Judy Garland. I mean, Banks is set after that though. Banks is just, you broke your arm trying to out straight a gay man. I don't even know what that is, but it's the straightest thing I've ever heard. Well, yeah, if Jackie wants to win, Banks is the obvious choice from that exact moment on. You know, you know, like you pick him. Obviously, he broke his arm. That's the straightest shit that's ever happened. So straight. Luciano, when

he got kicked off, actually dropped the only slur that they left in the show. Banks comes back from the hospital with his arms strapped to his torso, just in so much pain. He can barely talk. And Luciano says, what are you going to tell your friends? You got your ass kicked by a, hmm? And it is.

It hits like a record scratch. Even in 2004, people were like, Jesus Christ, dude. Oh my God. Luciano like just totally turned into like alpha dickhead once he saw like what he'd done. He saw this weak little man and he's just like, you know what, maybe I did dominate this little bitch. Maybe I was wrong to cry for four hours.

He got all of the weakness out of his body with those tears. I know, I'll admit to being gay in my threat to him. That's a Jackie found out. That was a weird thing for a straight man to say, huh? Yeah, kind of. Hmm. Suspicious. So in the next episode, she kicks off Bill, who is um, he's a murderer. I have a clip here of some of his greatest hits. There could very well be a murder here, instead of just being eliminated.

If I had a pair of scissors, I would love to chop every single one of his fingers off. If I find out that Chris is stabbing us in the backs, then I'm gonna murder him. Then she's just like, haha, you know what, I'm kidding, game face, hehehe, and you just want to wring her neck. He's just, you just want to wring her neck. And her and Sharif are kissing. And it's just like the first thought that came to my head is like, where is my gun? You know, behind the scenes we're secretly plotting his death. As far as Sharif goes, other than breaking his fingers so he can't play piano,

I don't know what I'm going to do. I had him leaning over the bench and just thinking about strangling him a little bit and just kind of finishing it off. I was actually very, very comfortable going into the boudoir date with Jackie. I went in there, I wasn't nervous or anything, and I sat down and she had this look over her face like I had just murdered her mother or something.

Hi. How you doing? After I had left the room with Jackie, I was really angry. I knew that it was Chris that was spreading the room with Jackie, I was really angry. I knew that it was Chris that was spreading the rumors about me. I was ready to rip his face off and I was on a mission. I left that room and I was tracking him down no matter where he was. I pretty much told him that, you know, I know what you said and I wanted to rip his head off.

I mean, I was just so close. That went on for so much longer than I thought. Yeah, you should not be able to get that much footage of that. I mean, I was just so close. That went on for so much longer than I thought. Yeah. You should not be able to get that much footage of that. I agree. So here's the thing. I think he might have been pretending to be a murderer to look straight.

Yeah, I was so sure of a sign. It worked. He came across real heterosexual with all those threats of violence right up until Chris had a conversation with him. And Chris was like, oh, you're gay. And then he went and told Jackie. Then Jackie told Bill, he's like, hey, yeah, Chris said you were gay.

And then Bill's like, that is not okay. And so he confronted Chris. And instead of murdering him, what he did, I wanna try to describe this carefully he he pirouetted into the room through his writing cape to the side and theatrically declared whatever split and whore is in here spreading rumors about me she better know what's going to backfire because two can play this game and I'm the true rumor queen he was so fancy when he came in there to deliver his threat. It went from, I'm going to rip his face off

to I will start a rumor about how you are actually the gay miss. Banks was laying there with a broken arm eating snacks. And when they left, he said, those ladies were cat fighting. It's like the only way he managed through like this traumatic injury. He's probably like high as shit on paint bills too. Yes.

That's the way to do this show, honestly. Yeah. She kicks him off because Chris said he was gay. And he was very right. In episode seven, the final three men are Sharif and Banks, the 1.75 remaining straight men, and Chris, the gay informant. And they tell Jackie not to kick anyone. The producers in and they say don't kick anyone off probably because she would have kicked Chris off and then the show is just a woman picking a boyfriend for one million fucking dollars. They have to maintain the drama like maybe she'll pick a gay guy all the way to the end. In the end. She never learned anything. She never took a single lesson from every single time she was wrong. She's gotten a second base with at least three gay men,

and she's still treating them like this Judy Garland monolith. Like she doesn't know anything about them other than things her terrible racist bigoted father told her in 1968. So that's it. You're caught up. That's the recap. That took five minutes. That was about five minutes. Yeah. What an amazing strategy by Bill. Because yeah, smart. Because yes, she's going to think, okay, he's got a lot of anger problems. That's very straight. But I do have to pick a man to walk out of here with am I going to pick the murderer? Right? He just went too far.

It's such a hard line to walk. He just forgot that women don't like to be murdered is what he forgot. He's like, straight men like to murder, I'm gonna do that, await straight women don't like to be murdered. Whoops, that backfired. I am kind of proud of her for ending up with

the guy who broke his arm arm wrestling, obviously very straight, and the guy who will not stop playing guitar at her, which I learned. Yeah, the second he played that acoustic guitar, I was like, you're the straightest man here. Yeah, it was like straight up the scene from the Barbie movie where all the guys are playing

like Matchbox 20 songs. Yeah, it was that. I was like, okay, so he's definitely straight, got it. Yeah, 100%. And he wrote a really vague song that he can insert any woman's name into got it. Yes, that's Incredibly straight. That's a straight guy. There's a moment. That's so great where she's like Her strategy became just asking men over and over if they were gay or straight

Sharif decided instead of just constantly saying I'm straight he went in to make out with her and she stopped him She says no too many gay men have made out with me. That doesn't prove anything. I made out with too many gay men. I can't make out with any more straight men. So funny. So Sharif got like really screwed on the last few dates. Like, so I think she was gonna pick him. One of the producers said that her strategy was basically,

she immediately knew Sharif was straight. She's like either had chemistry with him or read a book about straight men during her childhood that let him know that since he didn't know who Judy Garland was, he was a heterosexual man. And so she was just like, I'm gonna just keep him on the show until the very end. But she had so many bad dates with him

that were just kind of boring and nothing happened. And you know how I know that is because they put the whole fucking thing in the show. So she decided, okay, I'm just going to go with Banks instead. And she just got lucky that Banks was a heteros. Oh, not lucky. I mean, she saw him break his arm. It was pretty straight. Yeah, Banks and Sharif are the only totally safe bets at that point. Yeah. But it was so clear that she had more fun with Chris than any of them. Her date with Chris, she seemed so happy compared to her dates with the other two guys. And the way he threw himself into, like, the gossip part of the game was just...

immediately, you should know. Like, this is... this is a game, weirdly enough, that gay men are completely built for. The gay men will truly thrive in this game and would love it. So the, the guy most into the game, a little suspicious. What's crazy though, here's that she picked Banks and of course the rest is history, but not really because they never, they never aired most of the show. Like, like we said, last podcast, people were so uninterested in this homophobic boomer shit that they canceled it after three episodes,

but the producers did not know that'd be the case. So after Banks wins Jackie, they don't get to see each other for two months, and then they extended that to eight months as like television broadcast delays happened. So they were so worried about protecting the secrecy of the show, they forbade these lovers to see each other for most of a year.

And they broke up a few months later because she was 21 with $500,000 and he was 30 and already completely tired of life. He did say in an interview that he'd be down to get back together. So I think she might have done the dumping. But yeah, that's their relationship is like they had a bunch of phone calls over the course of eight months while they hid from the world to protect the secrecy of a show no one cared about or saw. You might have spotted this in your research. This was almost a full copy of a show that came out the year before called Boy Meets Boy.

It was a gay dating show where a hunk picked from 15 men in Palm Springs, and there were secret straights among them. So almost the exact same premise, gender swapped, except the price was $25,000. So this terrible knockoff cowboy nonsense cost 40 times more. And I think it was again, didn't air just wasted money. But I think that the price difference is because when you

betray a man who gives a shit, you tell a man, haha, you had sex with a heterosexual, he gives you a high five. Whereas I think Jackie, I think Jackie would have literally shot herself on TV if if she found out she picked a gay man at the end of the show. Yeah she was a read of a woman a strong wind would would end that yeah that person's life. She cried about the betrayal like when she found out the premise. I like that they actually had a template for how to do this ethically. Yep.

They actually had the right way to do this with the moral amount of money that doesn't end in an elaborate conspiracy to murder and also has the gay men in more of a position of power and not necessarily being hunted by straight men in 2004. They had a template for this. were like, oh, okay. Well, what if we did that, but evil? Yeah, I would love to have been in the meeting

where they decided a million dollars was the price tag for this. And it seemed like so many of them were not that concerned about the money, which is so crazy. It is weird. They never brought it up. Chris is the only one. I don't wanna jump ahead too far,

but like one of the most shocking things I discovered in the research was that this was canceled here after three episodes and rightfully so, and then got several spinoffs in other countries that were actually very successful. Yes, what was the name of the one from the Netherlands, Brockway? I'm not going to take that. Okay. It was called Perkin de Homo. It doesn't translate to what you think. No, it's recognize the gay. It sounds like the way the Swedish chef would say it for sure. Work in the whole movie.

What did that fucking asshole say? You piece of shit. I knew it. I've always known it. So I was reading that the two women who pitched this show were just trying to pitch shows. They're like, hey, give us five ideas for shows. And they gave them five ideas. And this is the one they picked, which as writers, I'm sure you've had this happen where someone asked for multiple pitches, they always fucking pick your worst one where they're like, give us five pitches.

It's like, okay, I'll give you the one I want to write. And then I guess here's four to fill the assignment. And they're like, write up the bad one, write up the torturous shitty one you didn't want to do. So I think it might've been that type of situation. I've dug into her a little bit, one of them, Kim McCrory. This had to be that situation, but a little bit. It was like, you put, sometimes you put the one you want to write,

and then you're like, I know what they're going to do. So you make the others so bad, there's no way they can pick it. And I think that's what she was doing, where she's like, nobody's going to pick Gay Hunter, the show where you hunt gays. They're gonna pick the real thing I wanna do because what she was known for before this was like serious environmental documentaries. You go through it and it's just like serious

of environmental documentary after serious environmental documentary and then playing it straight. There is an anthropologist vibe to this show. Yeah, like they thought this was activism. She was like, you know, I'm helping the world with this show for sure. It does seem like one of those things

that only works in academia and then you tell it to somebody outside of like your college and they're like, is this like the Stanford experiment? Yeah. Is this the, are we doing that? Again, she's got she's behind like a sequin blind and a Palm Springs drag queen bar. Like I'm studying them in their own habitat. They living among the gays for for weeks.

I couldn't I couldn't find Jackie anywhere. She did a tiny amount of press saying like basic ignorant shit before vanishing completely. I think it doesn't help that she shares a name with a Tom Arnold show. So that sucks for her. But yeah, Tom Arnold did a show called the Jackie Thomas show. And that's this woman's name. I think she deserves to have her pop culture legacy stolen by Tom Arnold. That's inappropriate.

I think that's an appropriate ironic fate for this is a good, this is how I would twist the wish she made if I was her genie. Yeah, the only way I thought we were going to find her was if she was like a Mormon momfluencer on TikTok or something. I was pretty sure I was going to find her after Bill killed her. Yeah, they really should like check that guy's basement on a monthly basis. At the very least for Eddie, because we still have not found him. He was gay. There was a show developed

almost around the same time as this called Gay Straight or Taken, which was the same fucking shit. A woman went on a date with three men and they were like the title of the show. And do you know who it starred? Did you find this in your research? I didn't find that one.

No, I found another one I wanna talk about too, but not this one. It starred a man named Luciano. He did this again. After breaking a man's arm? Yep. He's like, I'm really good at pretending to be straight. I'm going on a different reality show about it. No, you're beautiful. There's a difference. You're so beautiful that you're like, I'm gonna fucking take a swing. He was on a different reality show about it. No, you're beautiful. There's a difference. You're so beautiful that you're like, I'm gonna fucking take a swing. He was on a gay episode of Millionaire Matchmaker eight years later where they tried to stud him out to some rich guy. But there's no betrayal.

It was it was just what it sounds like. They just were like, would you like to purchase Luciano? And I don't think he did. But oh, yes, please. I'll take two. I'll take, hmm, break each of them. Settle down, then. So Luciano is just a hot guy who lives in LA

who will go on any show that you ask if he wants to be on it. That's what it sounds like. Yes, yes. I found his Instagram, that is his job. It's that and his most notable job was he became the face model for Kaiden Olenko in Mass Effect. Who is the worst character in Mass Effect? Everybody hates him. My favorite quote that I found digging into this was from Reset Era.

Kaiden is just so boring. I've always killed him. Ashley is a space racist, which is at least something. At least something. Yeah, I didn't use him. He was kind of, he was obviously overqualified to woo some small town homecoming queen. But like you put him up against a parrotfish linebacker and a sex psychic and I'm like, what Commander Shepard is going to use generic white guy in his party? It's fucking stupid. But that was Luciano.

That was our beautiful Luciano. You put him in the context of outer space and you're like, who's this fucking generic creative wrestler? Get him out of here. Now, if they had made him like a professional gay manipulator, which is eventually what we would turn him into, what our broken society would do to him, that would have been more interesting. I would have picked him. That would have been more interesting.

I would have picked him. That is a pretty interesting feat to take. A lot of role playing options with that ability. Speaking of shows where men pretend to be straight or whatever sexual orientation they're not, did you guys find seriously, dude, I'm gay? Yeah. I did, yes.

It appears to be just like they like gaslighting everyone in their lives. Like their family, they come out to their family and friends and they follow them around as they like have their journey of like being publicly gay. And then at the end, they're like, just kidding everyone. I'm actually straight. This was all for a game show. See, I found it because this show, because Playing It Straight did so badly that Fox like preemptively canceled Seriously Dude I'm Gay. It never actually existed. It was going to be a two hour special where two straight men were competing for $50,000. That's a moral amount of money at least. That's the only moral part of this, where they had to pretend to be gay for a week. But at the end of the year, and you're like, oh, whatever, 50,000, whatever. Part of it, yeah, was you come out to your friends and family,

which then for the rest of their lives are thinking like, OK, but was that maybe a little real? Or there's a chance you just don't talk to those people again and they just go on with their lives and they're like, oh, yeah, he came out. And like, no, that was a joke. Like, I have thought that was serious for 20 years. Are you a fucking lunatic? Hey, what's funny about that? I don't know.

It was 2004. That was enough. I love it because its marketing tagline was a heterosexual man's worst nightmare, turning gay overnight. Oh my God. That's what they marketed it with, they they promised that they would be judged by a jury of their queers. Oh my god.

Yeah, they they published it. I mean it was 2004 but that feels that feels much. There is a vibe in all of these of like it's a little bit like a horror movie like they they showed montages on the show of the the acting like kind of gay, what they decided was gay. Like, you know, he's putting on a little hat. Oh, he's like winking. And then they played this like horrifying soundtrack over it as if you're like watching a serial killer stalk a woman in a movie. I think maybe this is one of those really cool subtle horror movies where you have to look in the background and you would see Bill stalking Eddie throughout these. You just weren't looking. You were drawn away by the hat.

You were like, I'm gonna focus on the hat when the real horror was unfolding in the background. And the real horror was Bill. They're like, uh-oh, look out. He's looking in the mirror. Uh-oh. And in the background Bill's just stalk stalking through with a putcher knife drawn. I like that Bill rightfully became the villain here because he's one of the very few people you could find more info on and he apparently, if that's actually him and IMDB is not getting his name confused with another guy with the same name, he went on to become assistant accountant for Spider-Man Homecoming. I saw that. Yes. for Spider-Man Homecoming. I saw that, yes. He had...

That's where his big break led him. I didn't put too much stock in it just because when you have only a first name on IMDB, like you never know what last name they're gonna dump you on. And so all the guys on this IMDB page were just like, okay, I'll check out and see what Chris is doing. And it's just like, yeah, Chris was in a 1944 film about tap dancing.

I'm like, I don't think that's the same guy. Well, I found that Bill Bouvier is, is, was his first and last name. And that was linked to an accountant. And I don't know if it's the same guy, but I love to think that that's his big break. And he was like, finally, I'm going to get into assistant Hollywood accounting. That got his foot in the door with this show. And now he's telling Spider-Man how much those costumes cost. Great job, Bill.

Why do our stuntmen keep disappearing? We keep finding weird trails of blood off into the swamp. But it turns out we can afford it, weirdly enough. Yeah, the numbers look great. Yeah, it's like they budgeted for their disappearance. I don't think I have any more notes on the final thing. Do you guys have notes for this for the final episode? I was on the road all weekend.

So my favorite thing I found was actually really, really easy to find. It was just on the Wikipedia page. And it was a summary of basically how the show went. But it's a gay table. It's a straight and gay table. If you're listening to this, go to the Playing It Straight Wikipedia page and scroll down to find the gay table. I feel like every show should have this.

Every show should have this. And next to the names, you will see a series of descriptors that say safe, safe, out. So we're proclaiming which gay men are safe and which are not. I just found that a very appropriate legacy for this show. Agreed. It's crazy how many, that big chunk in the middle that were all gay, and it really made me think about how Brockway and I were both like, I think all of them were gay. And we were freaking close.

I think we also picked out the few that we think were straight and were straight. It was like, yeah, you really weighted this, weighted this, I hate to say it, but gayly? That feels wrong, but that is what happened. I was gonna say that going, when I went back to make the Bill is a Murderer supercut, I watched a lot of the show again, obviously. And with the context of knowing who's gay later, it's more interesting, especially the square dancing.

When they all paired up for square dancing, a lot of those were just two gay men square dancing together, having a little hoedown. And it was like, you could sort of tell they're having fun. You know what I mean? And I guess like a lot of the scenes take on like, like, like an improvisational thing, like, like it's a bunch of like bad theater actors having a having a nice time together doing exercises, rather than like the unethical, terrible gay hunt that the show actually was. So I don't know, I feel like there's a way to tell this story

in a way that isn't so awful. Yeah, we found it before we made this show, and it's to only pay them $50,000 and have the gay men, have the straight men be the ones who are hiding. Right. We knew that. And also, I feel like we were onto something when we said, just have none of them be gay or none of them be straight. And it's just an experiment in whatever, whatever, whatever everyone's idea of that is.

And then at the end, whichever gay man tricked her the hardest that she winds up with gets a million dollars. And so there was never a scenario where she gets anything. That's the best way to do this. The very first piece of research that I did that I immediately ran to do was what year did Brokeback Mountain come out? I know Sean knows, but do you know Brockway? No, but it has to be around now. Yeah. So Playing It Straight comes out with its very cowboy-themed, ranch life-themed,

this is for straight people's show, 2004. Brokeback Mountain comes out 2005. Oh, oh they did it first. Can you imagine if this inspired Brokeback Mountain? It had to have, there's not enough room. Imagine if there were two gay cowboys. Yeah, I think they were, they could have been filming like on the same mountain at the same time.

Oh my God. They're filming their extremely straight reality show. I think they were, they could have been filming like on the same mountain at the same time. They're filming their extremely straight reality show and then Brokeback Mountain is getting ready to completely change the culture around what cowboys mean on the same mountain. That's wonderful. They must have like, it came out right around then. They must have come out like after they had immediately canceled and you can just picture the producers at home going, come on, we did basically the same thing, how was ours any different? I mean, there were the murders, and the crimes, but aside from that, it's exactly the same.

I learned so much from this final episode. Did you? Yeah, I really did, from watching all of their dates, this episode that we watched it was just like the final date. So each of the guys, Banks, Sharif and Chris go on a, I think it was 24, like a full 24 hour all day date with Tom Arnold. Her name was Tom Arnold. That's right. It was Tom Arnold.

They all go on a date with Tom Arnold. We really drill down into what is gay or not. And I did take some notes. Okay, thank you. I found out that liking architecture is gay. You can't like architecture or- I wanna pause you right there. When Banks started talking about architecture,

they subtitled him with a fancy cursive font. So I want to include fancy cursive in that thing that is gay. Like as if the show's producers themselves were like, look at how gay this guy is. Oh, I wish they'd done that the entire show. Every time they say something questionable, it just comes across in like really sarcastic fancy cursive. He owns a hairdryer.

It turns out breaking a man's arm is gay, but getting your arm broken is not. Yes. That was good to know. Checks out. If mosquitoes bite you, you're probably gay. That happened to Banks. A mosquito bit him and she was like, huh. He didn't like that.

That was, that's weird. I loved it so much that no matter what they did, she pondered it as if like, hmm, we did make out for four hours, but then he put on his underwear by like hopping into them with both feet at the same time. Maybe that's something he came into. Yeah, she just like, she went completely insane trying to invent gaydar independently, since she had absolutely none. And so she was just like, she only had the experiences she was having in this house as a reference. So therefore she was just like, all of this is gay. It's gay

all the way down. Banks on his date tried to cook her some fancy food and she decided that mushrooms were gay. He knew about how to cook her some fancy food and she decided that mushrooms were gay. He knew about how to cook mushrooms and that's gay. Yeah cooking is gay is definitely was repeated I feel like if you knew how to cook they were like, uh-oh No, it was just mushrooms because Sharif on his date cooked for her and she was like this is extremely straight Well, he bought beef jerky to a to breakfast. Well, he later made some shit about it. Maybe it was because it was a grill. He grilled.

That's it. He grilled and Banks cooked in a pan. Cooking in a pan is gay. Grilling is not. Because I agreed with that. I was like, beef jerky for breakfast is inherently straight. That's a pretty straight thing. One thing I did not learn is that saying, I'm a lesbian caught in a man's body comes

across as pretty gay. I probably could have, I probably could have told you that one. That's what Banks said right in front of her. She was just like, that's such a arrested development fucking thing to say. Like, huh, okay. Bats are gay. That's true. He didn't like when the bat attacked him. Yeah, he didn't like when the bat attacked him. All of Batman's enemies are homosexuals. That is true though, sorry, canonically, yes.

He got attacked by a bat and she decided he looked kind of worried about that. Yeah, man, I'd be worried, rabies, man, all sorts of things. Also just like, I don't like getting attacked by bats. Little fancy, little fancy lad, are we? Sounds a little fancy. So the banks, there was the date they went on where he talked about the architecture,

but then he also knew what a salad fork was. Everybody comment on that. They're like, oh, this fucking guy knows what all the silverware does. Like, okay guys, he knew what an orchid was. She like asked him to name the flower and stupidly he did. Cause I think it was a trap. I think she's like, do you know what that flower is called?

He's like, yeah, that's an orchid. And she's like, busted. God, he talked about shoes. He was sitting with her and he was doing like his stand up and he's like, what's the deal with ladies shoes? You get so many choices, guys. They get no choices. Ladies have all these beautiful. Oh, what am I doing? Oh, this must sound so gay right now. And she's like, yeah, you keep digging a hole. Nobody really knows what anything means. Well, as Bill established, digging a hole is very gay. Except for the one she's recently had sex with and then a guy who is very straight. And between the two of them, they don't know anything about this community. And they're just making all these wild guesses,

investigating each other. It was very funny to me. And the cursive font at the bottom, fantastic. To be fair though, when Luciano cooked dinner, he made a spinach pasta with like a summer dressing and I was like, that's not a straight dish. That wouldn't go all the way to straight dish. It's got your question and everything.

Yeah, if you're gonna cook, it's gotta be just a hunk of meat. That's like all the way to straight dish. It's got your question and everything. Yeah, if you're going to cook, it's got to be just a hunk of meat. That's like all you can cook, unfortunately. Meat on sticks. That's what Sharif did. And you're right. Yeah. Meat on a stick. Very straight. Very straight. Not being able to ride a horse is pretty gay. See, that was surprising to me.

Because I always thought being able to ride a horse really well if you're not a cowboy. Yeah, seems fancy. I think if you're like galloping, you're straight, but if you're doing dressage, you're gay. That's how that works. Let me look it up on Wikipedia. Yeah, I just looked up gay in Wikipedia and I was exactly right. Hold on, let me just Google gay. Oh, this is a lot, this is a lot racier. Yeah, you're gonna have to go through a lot of research.

Yeah. The next podcast, what, what what you guys what is gay? I just liked that being strapped to a horse and flailing around like I don't know what the fuck is happening really gay He was all over the place in that horse. He's lucky to be alive Yeah, like that he almost drove that horse off a cliff every cliff. He was near That's a hundred percent what it would look like if you put me on a horse Because I've just that's what happens if you put somebody That's never been on a horse on a horse

Yeah, I could I could tell you that quite easily if he broke his arm falling off the horse straight Back to straight. Yes back to but then the horse would be gay because breaking arms is gay. Yeah Kick the horse off. That horse has got to go That was one of the sub clauses of the show if a a gay horse breaks her suitors arm, the horse wins $1 million. Frankfurt podcast? Correct! Yeah! The craft is not trapped, it's not empty! Send it to the dog zoo for an hour! Come on! You know the number! 1-900

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Ah, he's not getting it. Let's send him to live with the Navajo, everybody.