The Dogg Zzone by 1900HOTDOG - Dogg Zzone 9000 - Episode 188, Bangkok Knockout with Rusty Shackles

Episode Date: August 14, 2024

Seanbaby, Brockway, and guest Rusty Shackles celebrate the bonkers Thai martial arts movie Bangkok Knockout, and mourn the several million stuntmen it surely killed.

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Brockway! Yeah, yeah. Here's, yeah, the honk thing. Here's the Brockway fact. I also founded a stunt team with my friends. It ended in betrayal and tragedy, no follow-up questions. How have we ever, how have we never thought to plug Big Feets on this podcast before? Yeah, I don't know.

I don't know why it occurred to me. Why don't we do that? You could right now. I mean, I kind of mentioned it, but you could give it a nice plug. Why are we so bad at this? Big Feats is our Mountain Monsters watchalong podcast with award-winning author Jason Pargin, who is very weary of our antics at this point, and he'll only get weirier, that's a promise, watching a hillbilly reality show. But it's really a beautiful journey about just old hillbilly, well, sorta hillbilly men independently inventing storytelling while herding themselves in the woods. And it's a lot of fun. Listen to Big Feats.

God damn it, why don't we do that all the time? Good point. Our guest today on our regular podcast is an artist for 80s Mania Wrestling Returns, Hardcore Gaming 101, and the amazing 1900hotdog.com. It's Rusty Shackles! Gentlemen, it's good to be back. Thank you for having me back, I appreciate it. It's always a pleasure. Rusty, are you also mad at us for not plugging Big Feetz? I was gonna say it, but as a guest, it's not my place to judge.

Everyone should be mad at us. Is it more popular than our regular? Yes, but we could still. But I'm sure somebody just heard all this and it's like, oh, we'll check that out. And they're gonna let us know. Like, oh, like, because you never know. Like you plug all this shit, you feel like you're doing nonstop. Like I always feel like I'm spraying everyone with a fire hose of my musk all the time.

But like, I've got people over like, I didn't know you wrote books. Like, motherfucker ruined my life. There is another Robert Brockway author. It's an unlucky coincidence. Yeah, it's an unlucky coincidence he is who he is. For the good Robert Brockway. That we were born to be bitter enemies. Rusty, is there something you'd like to plug here while we're talking plugs? The weird thing is actually I've been working on a project for about a year and a half. It's been hinted at. I really can't say too much, but I will have a... So I do work for 80s manual wrestling returns. It's a management simulation wrestling game, kind of like Fire Promoter, if you're familiar with Fire Pro. It's something related to that. I can't really go

into much, but yeah, it's going to be all Rusty all day with Firepro. It's something related to that I can't really go into much but uh yeah it's gonna be all rusty all day on this one it's a little different. I'm a I'm part of the crew for 80s mania this will be 100% rusty top to bottom. Wow sweet. Mystery tantalizer. Yeah I haven't signed an NDA but in my it you know personally just there's an NDA, but in my, you know, personally, just there's an NDA in my head. So look out for something. Something mysterious! If you do, go to our website at 1900hotdog.com. All of the awesome comic book art you see at the top in the headers and the titles. That's Rusty! And on most of our shirts.

And most of our shirts, yeah. You're the best. I love working with you. Man, it's great. It's just so weird. Like every time I'm like, I get an email from you guys, I'm like, okay, this will be fun, money, and easy. It's not like easy, like it's not like you're challenging me or anything like that. I'm like, yeah, I'm going to have a great time, you know. We give you 11 rounds of notes. We're like, we need somebody holding a rocket launcher that shoots hot dogs.

And then you're like, how's this look? We're like, oh, no, we've decided he needs ping pong paddles that that shoot meatballs. I believe an actual note I did give him was that I wanted the hot dogs to be limper. Yes. Was that? I wanted the hot dogs coming out of the bazooka to be more flaccid was a note. I think it was my only note. I think aside from the original initial like website thing, I don't think we've had an email chain go past 10. Unless it's just, you know, whatever. Yeah, it's very bizarre. Look at my inbox and see what's going on. Yeah, fucking around. Yeah. And I know you're a Kung Fu man.

Had you seen this movie that we're discussing today? I had not actually. And the weird thing is, is actually for a number of years, I was really, it was my thing. I think actually once that once after Kill Bill 2 had come out I just totally jumped on the train and the DVDs were everywhere all of a sudden licensing deals made it so much easier but I kind of stopped around 2010 or so which is right when this movie came out unfortunately. We didn't prep for this could you calibrate your kung fu tastes with like a top three? Number one is always going to be Dirty Ho by Larkar Leung starring Gordon Lu.

Okay, sure. Prodigal Son is up there with Yan Biao, directed by Sam Oheng. So my child's name is Sam. He is named after Sam Oheng. Probably after that, I would have to say Master of the Flying Eotene. Oh, these are great choices.

Thank you. There's a moment in Master of the Flying guillotine. Oh, these are great choices. Thank you. There's a moment in Master of the Flying guillotine I love where the guy comes jumping in, like 30 feet in the air, like jumps into the arena, and the main king goes, nice jumping. I was like, fucking, I pop every time. There's also like a proto-dull seam in it too, which is interesting. Yeah, proto-dull seam. There's another guy in there that like Street Fighter stole from. I mean, there's a head-stealing lamp. That's a Proto something.

I don't think they did that before. Anybody who pulled your head off with a basket, they got that from Master the Flight, Guillotine. But there's actually a number of Flying Guillotine movies and that's the... Right. Yeah. So it's a cliche. It's a weird thing. It's like the Fast and the Furious franchise.

They're like, oh great, another one of these. I don't think they've gotten to the beheading basket stage of that film franchise yet, but by 15 there will be Jason Statham will take someone's head off of the basket for sure. I think Ludacris flying a car in space is the head stealing basket of the Western world. I'm going to go on. That's almost a step backwards, you're right. Today we're talking about 2010's Bangkok Knockout, which is just a miracle of a movie. Brockway and I have watched this with our Discord people and it's one of our favorites. What do you think, Rusty? Was this…

It's a lot. And I think that the thing that's interesting too, not to go too far into it, but the director And you guys probably know this too just from being martial arts world For me, there's certain movies that when the trailer comes out it changes everything Rumble in the Bronx basically ended Van Damme and Steven Seagull's career in America. They're like, oh, this is the real stuff. This is Jackie Then we had the Ong Bak trailer and this is the martial arts coordinator for that and that was such like okay a, okay, everything's changed from this moment on. So it was kind of cool to see like a follow-up when that guy was just doing his own thing in this movie.

I feel like, because Aung Bak I think is a classic, perfect martial arts movie. But that's a movie. And then this guy, Panaridhi Krai, when he started doing his own thing, it's just like, what if we took the plot and just like, kind of just smeared it across like 25 fight scenes? I think this is just what happened in a day. I think this is just like the behind the scenes for the set, for the stunt teams that worked on, on maybe on Aung Bak. They're just like, let's film, let's film our day. just like, let's film our day. It's also weirdly enough, it's a very wrestling friendly movie, and there's a little points I'll bring up later on, but there's a lot of stuff that's like, yeah, a wrestling fan would appreciate this movie. So if you're partly Kung Fu, or martial arts, and more of a wrestling fan, this is a great movie for you. Or just general madness. Yeah. Yeah, there's not a whole lot of purity. And in fact, it's kind of got a blood sport thing where

every guy is like, I'm a different martial art guy. It opens with an emergency room bloodbath shot very differently from the rest of the movie. It's very cinema verite. I think maybe they just waited for a local massacre and then just like ran in there with their cameras. I don't know. It's also it's a Thai movie. So all the actors are named after 15 different Herculoids altogether, but they're playing

characters that are just like, Pab, like I'm, I'm blip. Yeah, I wrote that down too. They have such great action movie names. I'm Crit, I'm Lerm, I'm Fern, I'm Pod, I'm Co, I'm Rom. And then there's James. Fucking that list of names, Lerm and Fern and Pod and Co and Rom, and then. So like right away, don't trust James. We knew and he does betray everyone. Spoiler. The music is by someone named Turdsak Jhimpan. It's fucking fantastic that you could just happen upon a guy named Turdsak. Fantastic. Okay, but my favorite name from the movie was Speedy Arnold, the main bad guy. Speeden. It was Speeden Arnold, there was an N. And that's his real name, that's not the bad guy's name. Yes.

That's his real name, Speedy Arnold. Is Mr. Speed, which sounds like just so evil. That's perfect. Yeah. It would have been a hundred times better if his character was named Speeden Arnold. We cut to a warehouse, a bunch of martial artists. They're limbering up.

We see that the plot of the movie is that they're in some kind of like American Idol for stunt teams. Which I believe is probably a major thing in Thailand, like based on what I've seen from their own movies that they present to us. I think that every single one of them, I think if you don't know how to leap off of like a four story building and land on your head safely, by the time you're like 14, you're just you're banished into the woods or something. Yeah, there's just no jobs. So the plot of the movie is there's 50 teams of guys. Yeah, they just jump off of things. The surviving people get to be in Spy Kids 4 or whatever. My Muay Thai school in San Francisco was mostly stuntmen. So this part is real. This is how everyone got their gigs. was mostly stunt men. So this part is real. This is how everyone got their gigs. Every week there was just seven or eight fewer people and we found out, oh, they're the guys who lost trying to get...

They did not get the job and rest in peace. It's really lovable how bad the writing is already. Like, a bad guy will show up just to show that he's a dick and it doesn't advance the plot at all. Like, you're just like, what was that scene for? And a lot of like the whole intro with like the whole like the Thailand's Got Talent sequence. It feels a lot like a fighting game where like there's a lot of information. It's like a track mode where I don't there's no character development. I know one has a mom and one has a brother. And that's really about it. And you're introduced to like 20 characters all at

once. And you know that it's the mom because she comes in and she's like, Hello, I am your mom. And he's like, Yes, you are my mom. And she's like, I will cook you dinner because it's the mom because she comes in and she's like, Hello, I am your mom. And he's like, Yes, you are my mom. And she's like, I will cook you dinner because I am the mom. And she starts handing out tuna sandwiches to everybody. Yes, that's what a mother would do at the audition. Just barge barge into the the live audition. The finals of who's got an invincible spine.

Thailand. It's like everybody wants to do to fish. There's some such genuine madness in like the minor decisions. Like there's obviously genuine madness in the crazy stunt work that's to come. But the names like they're the this is a showdown between the two finalists and the two teams are Team Fight Club, which is our good guys versus the bad guys Team Stunt for Life. It's exactly what my 12 year old friends would name our stunt team. Best friends Karate Club.

Yeah, I'm pretty sure we have named it. I think I've watched a Jackie Chan movie and gotten too excited and been like, we're Team Stunt for Life. I tried to jump over a mailbox and tore my crotch or something. It's so eager. And there's another scene where they're like,

their shorthand for things is so off. They're talking about how all of their friends are here and they flash through and they name everybody. And then somebody's like, oh, Joy. And then they go, that's swelling, tragic violin music, drags this entire scene to a halt while they all just look at the floor on the border line of weeping as somebody says,

Joy, Joy can't come. And you're like, oh my God, she has cancer. They're doing this for their friend that has cancer. So I can't wait to find out what happened to Joy. Fucking nothing. She was just late. She just didn't catch her bus. But I do love the raw exposition like we like it's a Skyrim lore book. It's just they give no thought to even squeezing this into the story at all. It's like a Zack Snyder scene. This is you reading the manual for the game on the car ride home from the game story.

Like, I can't wait to plug this in. I wrote down this exchange where it's all in tie, and one of the PAs needs to go get the main bad guy. And she says to the Simon Cowell of the American Stunt idol, I'll speak English. And the guy at the desk looks at her and then the music swells. But not like in the way it swelled for Joy being a little bit late. It swells like this is so dramatic and powerful. And he says, and I quote, You know, there are people who find the way to finish their job, and people who let others work for them, and then people who are just goddamn lazy using their parents' money for their dream of becoming a star, but they're empty.

No talent or even inspiration to do a damn thing. And then in English he screams, get out! This was just a PA who said, I don't speak English. But now you know. That's the kind of movie we're dealing with. She just got like her like, like yelled at or like was she with Mr. Sneed, right? She was the one who was like sculpted by him. And I think the great thing with I believe was Speeden with Speeden's role.

With a lot of Asian films, there's always the most obnoxious Caucasian in the world. They're they're kind of like straight out of like a 90s rap video. They would be the cop in a 90s rap video. He is absolutely the rudest human being who has ever existed. So it was kind of cruel that the PA had to deal with that right after dealing with him wanting to smoke a cigar in the room for whatever reason. Oh yeah, so people might have thought we were mocking Thai names because we did some mocking of Thai names, but Speeden Arnold is a white guy. Yeah, we should have made that clear.

He's like the last surviving white guy from the Jackie Chan movie. Like if they all had some sort of coumete of fat evil white men who can't act but are willing to be in a martial arts movie. This is their... Speed and Arnold is their champion. He's wonderful. God, I wrote down like all the exposition. I don't even know why. Like Fern is Pod's niece, and we learned that from a kick-catching drill. He's like, Hey, here's how you catch a kick because Fern is Pod's niece. Like I just I've done all of it fascinating. I don't know why I took so many notes. It is why it's wonderful the way that they're like, why? Why is

that the way you get that information in? It has to be delivered via kick. Yeah, I guess so. And it's kind of like the writing, you kind of pick up a lot from context when you start seeing all the actors like all these guys, they're really expressive performers and they're very styled, like their hair and their clothes, but not a single one of them looks like a movie star. Like every single person looks like someone's stunt double.

So you sort of, you see this and you're like, oh my God, this is a movie made entirely by stunt people. But I kind of appreciate that too, because like not knowing anybody, you're like, okay, if you have a celebrity or somebody notable, okay, that person's probably going to be fine. But anybody could be the anybody could die, anybody could live, you know. I get what Sean's saying, because you don't even there's not like, in movies, there's there's a sense of this is your actor, right? You can pick the main character out even before they say anything. Like there's

just sort of a presence there. And you have no idea who the main character of this is. I think it might be Pod, but I still don't know. I think it's got to be Pod, right? Yeah, definitely. I'm a huge Pod guy over here, so. Pod hit. But Pod looks like he could be 50. He looks like he could be 11. He's just got this baby face that he's not like an unattractive man. I'm just saying he does not look like a movie star. He's got like Roy Orbison hair. I don't know how to describe pod. He's fantastic at stunts and kicking. So here we're doing the finals of the competition and the winner gets to go to Hollywood and it's just a race to

the top of the scaffolding. The bad guy team like shoves pod and like nobody cares. I guess there's no rules. They get to the top, they both fall down they just eat so much shit I don't see I was like it's like is New Jack up there like I honestly it felt like an ecw scaffold match all of a sudden that woke me up I was like oh my god like I was I was seriously worried about pod yeah the first stunt in this movie is two men somehow both on top of each other's necks driving each other neck first through plywood down three stories. You're like, that, there were only two people involved, but that killed five people.

Yep. They had to pull the corpses out halfway through the shot, put in some fresh living humans. It's like that surgery that went so wrong that he had like a 300% mortality rate. People just watching died. The whole movie is like that. Anyway, Pod wins. They do a little switcheroo where he's like, I got the box. And he's like, aha, I got the thing in the box. And it's classic filmmaking. Like I said, these people have seen movies. They just don't quite know how to put the parts together. Like he's hugging his mom, the bad guy tries to like kill them while he's hugging his mom. This leads to a flashback.

And you're like, well, who, who made this movie? And you're like, all right, the stunt people. The way the flashbacks nest backwards and forwards for the this first for the intro of the movie is so baffling and inexplicable. Like, I think it beats Bloodsport's 11 minute montage within a montage within a montage within a flashback thing. For sheer madness, it definitely does. If this was a Hong Kong production, this whole sequence would have been a lion dance where they had to climb up something and grab something.

So they were just like, no, let's just go, let's just throw pod through three stories of plywood. That's much easier. Very efficient. So we go back to the flashback. I guess they wake up now. They've been captured and put into an unfinished building. And then they flash back to the big party they had after they won. Everybody was there. Joy, Fern, Lerm,

Pom-Pod, Ram. Fucking James. There's a scene here I didn't understand. There's an older guy named Ram. He and this other guy are like licking their lips at each other. And then Joy grabs him, she says, Ram. And he says, I'm fine. She says, be home by 11. He goes, I know, it's nothing. I'll check the amulet for him. And she goes, amulet checking? Really? And I genuinely, I have no idea if anyone's listening and know what the fuck is going on here. I want to clarify just a vibe. Like, the subtitles were pretty good. This is not, like, an error in the subtitles, because they're, for the most part, pretty comprehensible and, like, translated very well throughout the rest of this movie. I do believe that's what they were supposed to be saying.

Maybe there's a cultural thing that that means something that I am not getting, but yeah, I was expecting... I was expecting the whole movie like, I thought once they mentioned the amulet, that's the thing in the box, right? That's what they were fighting over. They got this amulet. Now we've got to like, okay, there's like a magic amulet. All the way up until the credits rolled. And I was like, what the fuck happened with the amulet? It never came back. I was distracted from the amulet because like, the thing that really bothered me was like, their dinner table is extraordinarily sparse.

And if you've seen any Asian movie with a dinner table, it's the most gorgeous thing in the world. It is the most beautiful film, beautiful food to appear on cinema. But they're all having a chicken wing on a plate. That's it. And I wasn't sure maybe it was a Thai thing. No, they should have had 18 bowls for every person. This is stunt man craft services. You're looking, you're thinking actor craft services.

Yeah, you're right. The caterer was also like the driver and probably he died several times during the making of the movie as well. And probably crit. He was also probably crit. Yep. If I'm being generous, I think that Ram is an alcoholic

and he was, the other guy was licking his lips to like lure him into the drinking. And then Joy was like, dude, you can't do this. You're a maniac when you're drunk. You have to wear the amulet of sobriety? Right. I think the amulet is just a straight up like MacGuffin. They know in movies people have amulets and then you call back to the amulet later.

They didn't in this one, but they probably meant to. While we're doing this, a Linda Hunt drag performer pulls up on a motorcycle and he's very fussy. They all laugh at him. He's at the wrong party, but they hire him to play violin anyway. Oh, are you talking about Ty Rob Schneider? Yes, I'm talking about Ty Rob Schneider. Yes, exactly.

I just wrote down, I think the entire staff is wearing repurposed He-Man wigs. It was like the crazy hair catering gang. Yeah, including this guy. Everybody's got some sort of bizarre He-Man wig on. And from a different phase of He-Man, maybe like a different era of He-Man, there's been some sort of cargo ship that is destroyed and He-Man wigs have washed up all along the coast of Thailand. That's how Jet Li got his wigs for the one. Oh yeah, that makes sense that you're making reboot of He-Man, of course.

And so the caterers are real weird. There's a very sassy one and one of our heroes flips him off and that really hurts his feelings. And this is actually foreshadowing. This is actually called back later in the movie. There's like an evil head caterer and that's actually the director of the movie. Then there's a mascara man bun one, and he's very sinister looking. These will all come back later because they're all deadly evil caterers. This is all a trap.

We meet Lerm here. He's back from China. He's doing Kung Fu shit. And they're like, dude, you got to do Jackie Chan shit. He's like, no, I do Shaolin shit. They don't make anything. I don't even know why I mentioned it because they don't call back to this much. It's just sort of to help us understand that this is more of a bloodsport crew than a bunch of Jackie Chan's on one team. They got one of everybody.

The credits actually list the actor name, their character and their martial art style, which I thought that's actually kind of cool. I kind of wish they had done that if they'd gone along. Maybe they freeze on a character and said, Pod, colon, whatever style he practiced. That may have been a better way to set them all up. I think that's a good move on their part. I think that's them anticipating like, okay, we did a really bad job letting you know who these people are, but you remember the guy that's letting you know who these people are, but you remember the guy that's like mostly upside down. This is the upside down guy.

You're like, oh, fuck upside down guy. I got, I got. Of course. Let's pull out of the flashback or one of the several flashbacks. Someone just gets hit by a car that drives through a wall and it hits three more of them because somebody on the bad guy team

uses car style kung fu. Somebody on the bad guy team is an evil knight rider, is a supercar. So when we said they use every style of kung fu, one of those styles is hitchy with my car. I called it DUIFU. Yeah, that's really good. Yeah, DUIFU. They kind of are good guys, get immediately broken up into teams. People start getting kidnapped. Rob Schneider busts out his first usage of his classic catchphrase, by which I mean, his catchphrase is, so classic, what a day. He says classic like, like he's just stepped in a puddle on the way to his boss or something. But no, like eight people just got killed by a super car that knows Kung Fu. And he's like, man, this day, am I right?

Another one of these. So the women get kidnapped, but they also, I guess, fight their way out of it a lot. By a punk rock ninja. He's important. It's true. He is important. Are you talking about Man Bun Mascara caterer? I don't remember which caterer he was, but he's the only punk rock ninja.

He's wearing a Ramones jacket and he's got a katana. They should have named him and then we wouldn't have all these contradicting... Did you have him in your notes, Rusty? What did you call this guy? I think I had him like, like, Resident Evil 4 shopkeeper ninja, although I may be thinking of somebody else. No, no, I think that's him. That's gotta be him.

This is why they listed at the end, like, the guy that kills people with the sword. You're like, okay, we're all on the same page. Because I believe like his eyes are on the kind of like the side of his head, like NBA player Sam Cazelle. I think it's the guy I'm thinking of. Like a halibut? Kind of, yeah. Halibut ninja?

Halibut punk rock ninja? Halibut man bun, Resident Evil, punk rock ninja. We got it. Everybody knows who we're talking about. Let's just call him Clerm. There we go. There's a part I really like where he jumps across this gap. And it's like he's real dramatic about it.

It seems like it's maybe an eight foot jump, but whatever. It's pretty daring to jump across it. And he lands it and everyone else like, OK, we got to make this jump. But then a whole bunch of other guys appear on the other side, bad guys. And they all have like this gentleman's agreement to just jump and meet in the middle. They all fall an entire story on this. Men just totally eat shit. There is 16 people, at least 16 people involved in this, where like eight men start running for the jump and then eight men appear out of nowhere just to match them like they're running at their reflections and then they just smash into each other in the air and fall two stories straight onto concrete, no cuts. My note for this is five versus five kick equal, uh, that's all I, I was just like,

good lord. I mean, there's a lot of people falling uncomfortably in this. So it's not a, you know, if you've had a spill in your life recently, it's probably not a good movie to watch. Just statistically speaking, at least 20 people had to have died in that 16 person kick. I can't imagine doing this and not having one person go to the hospital instantly, much less, you know, survive. Plus, there's no reason to do it.

Like, if someone's jumping across a gap and you're waiting for them, just stay where you are and kick. Don't jump into the gap with them. Push them back. No, it's only polite. And you're supposed to, it's called the tie midair handshake. It's a tradition. They are. It's like, we all die together. Downstairs, they find Joy's amulet. And this was, I guess, they did call it back. But why and how? They're like, yeah, we know that

she's been kidnapped. We can hear her screaming right now. The movie does this a lot where it's like someone will, they'll reveal something and you're like, well, there was no point in revealing that or we fucking already knew that. Anyway, the bad guys reveal their plan. The evil caterer and the American stunt idol judge, they say, your friendship will be tested. This is a game without guns. You have to save everyone's life. If anyone leaves, then everybody dies.

So also you're being filmed. Basically they survived an American Idol just to find themselves trapped in a survivor. It's kind of like it became like most dangerous squid game battle royale. See, this is another punk rock ninja halibut shopkeeper situation. Because I wrote down, oh, I get it. This is Thai Hunger Games, but instead of sci-fi set pieces, it's an abandoned warehouse. And instead of children, it's Thai stunt people. That's the perfect premise.

It really is such a perfect movie. It sounds like we're making fun of it and we will but it's it never stops being entertaining. I love this movie so much. We find out that the evil caterer is like a super master warrior but he has asthma. And they like they pull out the inhaler to show the audience like look, this is why you're not the best anymore. It's great writing, very subtle. So now we cut to Speedy Arnold, and he has four high roller gamblers, because this is funded by gambling. I got a clip of him just to sort of lay out the plot. Welcome to Thailand. Now, some people call this the land of smiles. I like to call it the land of piles, piles and piles of money. Just didn't get any better than that.

I love that all four people in this JetBlue preferred customer lounge just look at him like you were hoping for a reaction there, weren't you? Because he gives a long pause. I'm glad they revealed what they were in later because it looked like they were in a traveling MTV game show for a spring break. I was like, what is this place? It looked like they were in the stunt doubles version of that, the version that the stunt double sees before it gets hit by a bigger truck or something. The four people don't speak English, I think maybe one guy does, but the other ones are very clearly running through their English lines phonetically, which makes it very funny. But I want to play another clip here of him explaining

Oh, thank God. how things work to them. This is very helpful. If you bet one of them to win, $20,000 will win you $30,000. If you bet against them, you gotta put up $50,000 to win 10,000. What's up? Is he inventing the concept of odds? Like, is this the rough draft for odds? I think this is Steiner math in action.

Yeah, this is totally, is totally Scott Steiner math. Now if you bet neither of them to win, $20,000 only gets you $1, but it's a really funny dollar like I'll draw something on it. What are you? I want to just emphasize, did you take more clips? Am I going to step on your bet? Oh, no, I took all the clips. There are five clips of him explaining the odds. OK.

Well, cut me even talking about it. I didn't even have a bit. Let the bit come organically. So back at the construction site, Ed and Ao are there. Ao is Tai Lu Diamond Phillips. And I'm positive that's what you guys had in your notes. I did not, but you're right.

So they're chasing a ninja who's dragging one of their friends and then it just falls through the floor. I don't know if this was a trap or just an unfinished chunk of the floor, or this might not even have been related to the movie. We start to see that this is, it's a slasher movie now, and it took a lot of stupid to get here, but the movie is now in this,

I think you made this observation the first time we watched this, Brockway, that this is this brilliant concept of a Jackie Chan movie, but the tone is of a slasher movie. Yeah, it's a horror movie, but Jackie Chan is the final girl. And also, it's every horror villain that's ever lived. It's that too, yes. Okay, so Tylu Dumb and Phillips keeps going. He leaves Ed to whatever slasher villain is down there. He runs into the Fresh fresh caterer, the guy

that flirted with him earlier. And we get flashback in case we forgot. And he is dressed in sexy underpants, like nine different kinds of sexy underpants. And so here's, here's something important when you're coming up with fight stories, you want to keep things simple, like you give a guy one defining trait, and that sort and that helps define his style. They thought, how is this guy's flirtiness going to come into things? What they landed on is this guy's so horny that he can't be hurt.

That's his sex fetish, he's getting his ass kicked. So, win or lose, he's going to come. It's a very good strategy. Did you write down his pre-fight line that kicks it all off? I didn't. He wonders if Tidulu Diamond Phillips, he says, I don't know if you're single, but is that single? And points at his cock. That's what kicks it off. Then they're fighting.

Yeah. How dare you assume my cock is single when I am married, I guess. My note was this is unfortunate for the sequence. In modern context, it's a little iffy, but yeah, sure. Yeah. It's real unfortunate for 2010, man. I kind of thought it was, I thought they were having fun with it. He kept kicking him onto the couch. Like he just would front kick him onto the couch and then hit the couch and then go, oh, I really enjoyed that front kick.

It's not like he's taking pain like nipple clamps, like he's getting his chest caved in. It's a weird fetish is my point. Down in the pit, Ed is facing like an MMA guy, I guess. It's like a Thai Tito Ortiz kind of guy. Ed is the Jackie Chan guy. He's not so much kung fu as just like somersaults and wall climbs. And so they basically fight up a fence, like they spend most of the fight on a fence.

He does a flying jumping jack Mongolian chop kick on the guy. It's impossible. I don't even know how they plotted this fucking scene. The guy's just like, okay, I got this idea for a kick. I think you're being unfair because I will agree that Ed spends this entire fight on the fence because he seems like he is more comfortable on the fence than he is on the ground. The other guy cannot access fence at all. Fence is a foreign language to him. This is his first cage match. He's not. He does not speak fence. He doesn't get up on that thing once. And Ed just fucking is just spinning like sideways upside down around this fence. I'm like, it's a two story high fence. He's up there at the top and the guy at the bottom is just like, what the fuck am I supposed to do about this?

And that thing you touched on, like where he jumps backwards and kind of does like the little scissor tap to his head. I think it's interesting in a lot of these two, like there's a lot of like really cool sequences, but it's like the least effective, like injury potential. Or it's the most lethal thing you've ever seen in your life. There's no in-between. I think it's pro wrestling rules and that like, like, you know how the rock had a finishing move that was just gently like brushing his elbow against the guy's chest.

But it was theatrical. And I think that's the rule is that the more theatrical the move, the more damage it does. It's full pro wrestling rules. Oh, but back upstairs, these fights are happening simultaneously and they're both like really complicated, well-told stories of combat. So it's back in the pervert den and Ao is just getting completely fucked up by the sex fighter. He has a metal cup on, so all the dick bashes that Ao is throwing are totally useless. And so what he does, he's like, I've got to counter this guy's dick cup. He takes it out and he feeds it to him. Then he rips off his wig and headbutts

him in the junk. It's just this is like Bruce Lee Chuck Norris style storytelling. It's actually like a it's like he does like the e Honda torpedo on the ground into his job. Yep. See, I thought this was actually kind of a cool segue because we went from Ed in this cage match, who was just like, only has one hand on the fence at a time and is just whirlwinding up and down the fence while his opponent looks at him like he's become magic. He's just like, I fucking I don't know what this is. And then we cut back to Tylue Diamond Phillips here, fighting the very sexy sassy waiter.

And he's bashing his cock against a fence. He's just grabbed him and is bashing his cock against a fence repeatedly. Like, this is how one man uses a fence. This is another use for a fence. And like, there's like parallels happening. Yeah, it does. Like a parallel of like, there's a very artful, flashy style on the fence too. I'm going to bash your cock on this fence.

Right. And I would say that Ed and the MMA guy, they're having a really not sexually charged fight. Like you just, I don't think they're gonna fuck at all. I'm like, yeah, these guys are, these guys are in a fight. So Ed is now kind of gets one-upped because he's like the fence guy, but then a full Spider guy comes in and he's on the, he's better on the chain link even than Ed. He's a monkey style Japanese well ghost. Thank you. That's perfect. He's a ring girl. Back upstairs, he ties the gay guy up and he

paralyzes him with a surfboard. I think that's the finish. The rest of you probably know better than me, but I think this is a Mexican surfboard. It looked like a Romero special kind of almost, yeah. Yeah, so he completely paralyzes him, and then he runs down to help Ed with the spider guy, and all of it just absolutely rules. They just take turns getting fucked up by Ring Girl. I loved how this proceeded, right? So Ed is down there just making a mockery of this poor son of a bitch that brought ground to a fence fight. And then, oh no, what's this? I have my own fence guy and now there's a full-blown fence fight while that guy just still stands at the bottom looking at it like, I can't get up there. I can't climb up there. I don't know what I'm gonna do. It's poor planning on Asthma Guy's part that he didn't have Spider Guy in the cage first.

Right? Like, why are you putting... don't put that guy in, you got a guy that speaks fence? That's the whole thing. Yeah. But then- I think that was just bad luck with Ed because it's a cage. They're like, put cage fight guy in there. Yeah. They didn't know they were, they didn't know that he'd be fighting fence guy. I just love that when Aurelives, he can't speak fence either, but he's like, super fluent in ground. Like, he's just, he he's just bringing them everybody to the ground over and over again Like I speak ground so good though you guys yeah, and it's just incredible how badly they like they introduced Japanese well ghost monkey style fighter and then they're like and now watch him get the shit beat out of true Yeah, he's destroyed with like what I can only describe as like a doomsday device suplex.

It's incredibly uncomfortable to watch a guy fall from on top of someone's shoulder directly on his head and neck. But yeah, again, there's a lot of incredible spots in this. It's like a forced piggyback into a flying elbow suplex? That's a good way to describe it, sure. It's definitely paralyzed the actor, for sure. So again, parallels. Everybody's definitely paralyzed the actor, for sure. Again, parallels. Everybody's getting paralyzed in these fights. He went back to the Japanese market well after this.

Oh, that's right. A lot of the guys make reappearances. It's another thing I love about this movie is that they keep reusing guys. They feel like you leveled up, like, oh, I remember this guy. He's more dangerous now. Jade has a knife to her neck by ninjas and they're trying to like appeal to the ninjas humanity and then Joy appeals to them with their spin kicks or maybe Jade. I'm not sure. I generally don't know what's going on for a lot of this. They pull off one of the ninja masks here and it's like an 80 year old man with no teeth. I don't think it's their best ninja. He looks like the old like the beer, like the bitter beer face ad guy. Yes. He's very scrunched old, like, the bitter beer face ad guy.

Yes! He's that bitter beer face. See, I thought this was a great bit, because they pull off his face mask, and Ty Rob Schneider over here is like, you destroyed his face! Look, he can't even talk, he's in so much pain. And the guy's like, no, my face is just like this, and they all just kind of stare at him. But he goes, I am in a lot of pain. And then, like, that's the punch line, It's great. It's a really good one. It's so weird.

So now the bad guys have knives and their pod is chasing him. He's like, I got to get joy back. And he runs after these guys that have joy. And then he finally saves joy. But it's a trick. Joy, the guy, one of the evil ninjas put on a wig. joy. One of the evil ninjas put on a wig. He is destroyed instantly. It doesn't work. And he's destroyed in one punch. He has no fighting style. He was only useful because he kind of looked like joy from behind. They're like, we need a ninja that looks a little bit like this girl from behind to just try to stab him. Just do your best. It's so great. It's right after they show the old man ninja, they show like the the lady like frame ninja. They're using every part of the ninja here. There's a long hair guy on the good guy team, I don't even know his name is. He runs into a guy and flashback to their Muay Thai training. It's applied. He did he did he cheated, he kicked him out. It's a very last second. It's fucking crazy because they- This is why Guile doesn't like bison. Like if you find out the very end of the game, you're like, oh, okay.

Oh, sure. That makes sense. They start fighting and then during the fight there will be flashbacks and the flashbacks explain more and more why they hate each other until the end. So the emotional stakes run completely backwards. Right. And you have no understanding of it. Way too fast to resonate. These are literally one to three second long flashbacks. I think maybe he took drugs? Or maybe he got framed for drugs?

There's no way to tell. What's important is he uses turtle style, by which I mean he rips his shirt off to reveal he fights in a metal shell. Yeah. He has a little steel tummy, and as soon as our hero sees that little tiny armor plate he goes for it like it's the secret weak spot. He's like, I'm gonna fuck up that one little metal part of your tummy. I'm gonna break that shell! They have a fistfight across from a little waterfall, all in slow-mo.

Like, I have a feeling they were sure this would look cool, and when it didn't they just didn't care they're like fucking leave it in I don't know what you think of this I thought this was it was fine it was so overshadowed by the next one though yeah I didn't know who the character was who had the grudge to begin with I think I think he's fighting a memento guy but that one but only for like a minute and a half and then he's out of the movie then I'm like do I have memento disease now watching this wait what's going on I think stainless steel turtle memento was one of the was one of the horror movie slashers only now it's time for an actual horror movie slasher yes

before that hold on before that speedy does have some information about the odds oh thank God Christ I haven't won a bet. Sometimes the student can show the teacher a thing or two. I got that one. Very well played, Jen. Our next wager will both win. Put up $50,000 to win $200,000. Uh-huh. But beware. Oh no. They're going up against a fearless warrior. Check your screens for other odds. This odds like that, Mr. Smith must have a real killer for them.

Great scene. No, no, no. It, no second take. Now for this fight, $50,000 gets you $50,000. It's wild. Things are, we're going buck wild in here. They're setting odds for these fights, but keep in mind that this is just the chaos of several kidnappers running through a building. And the only reason these fights work as planned is because the bad guys are slasher villains and they can kind of manipulate time and space like a Jason Voorhees. Like for instance, let's see, is it P.O.D. or P.O.M. in the scene? I can't remember. The Kung Fu guy, Lerm and P.O.N. They get to the next room, so P.O.M. just gets ripped through the wall and it's a tank axe, man. It's literally Jason Voorhees. It's a guy in a big steel MF Doom mask. He looks like a Jason Voorhees instead of a hockey mask, like a quiet riot mask.

Yeah. Or like Splatterhouse kind of more, I guess so? I don't know. Yeah, and he's got the axe. He's for sure unmistakably a horror movie villain and supernatural. They're like, he is immune. They make it very clear. He is immune to all human damage. Like, he will not take damage from humans. Keep that in mind. It might come into play. Yeah, they just unload on this guy. Nothing hurts him. I think the way they did this stunt was they just put a guy in armor and fucking beat the shit out of them as hard as they could. I think that's how they filmed this scene. This movie rules so much.

It's at this point where I really got it, where it's like, okay, this is like the character select screen from the eighth sequel to a fighting game I have not been keeping current with. Like, I'm opening it up going like, oh, where's Blanca? Like, fucking the Iron Giant is in this now? Like, when did they get rights to the Iron? Is that Knight Raider? Knight Raider's in there.

Knight Raider's in there. This was a bad matchup for Lurm, because he's just pecking at this dude with his Kung Fu Crane Beaks. Then they run away, because like, he's, he's really slow. He's a big old tank with an axe. And so the gamblers, they cut back to the gamblers like, what the fuck? As if they broke the rules, as if like these, What the fuck? As if they broke the rules, as if these guys didn't know the rules of the bed. Now the three good guys, they meet up and they realize, oh my God, guys, we need to fight. Yeah, thanks for keeping up movie.

Again, I have no idea what sequence they shot this in or who edited this movie, but it cracks me up how it's constantly figuring out what's going on. Joy is kidnapped again, but she fights her way out again, but then she runs into Punk Rock, Mascara, Resident Evil Ninja. What's frustrating for me maybe of all the plot holes is that these people are stunt people. So they can just shoot up the walls, they can break through anything. There's no way you can plan a route or an ambush. While this is happening, like Lerm runs back into the MF Doom mask guy. No, a different MF Doom guy. A little guy, but the same mask.

So it's like he had the shrank or like his little brother came to set. Then he's like, oh, I'm gonna let you, can we put my brother in the movie? He wants to be like me. Little mini F Doom. He has an invincible face, so Kung Fu guy starts to beat him with a pole. The guy takes the pole from him and just bends it over his leg. It hits him in the shin and the metal pole. That guy's movie rules so hard.

Again, the problem solving I really like. He's got an invincible face, so he starts kicking him on the top of the head. It works until a spider guy jumps in and then he cuts back to the gamblers. They're like, hey, that's cheating. They're watching running man and they're like, they think these prisoners like held at gunpoint and said run for your lives or have to follow some sort of rule. I thought this kidnapping survival thing was above board, but apparently not. Right.

But then Speed and Arnold is like, don't worry, we know you think that's cheating. We're just like setting these rules aside like like he has this plotted out like there's a condition If if Jason's little brother gets bashed with a pole too many times we'll send in spider-guy But then we're gonna refund but then $20,000 will get you $22,000 for a little drink a little drink a little cop Pretty good deal MMA guys shows up in here. They take off MF Doom's mask and Lerm is like, oh my god, it's you. And then it cuts away like, just this childlike mystery.

There's so much happening. How you would end a show called like Best Friends Detective Club or something. It's so fucking funny. The Wimp team has the elderly ninja captive, but then they run to Axe Tank and this is bad for them. They're no match for Axe Tank. The elderly ninja tries to run away, like knocks himself dead on a just a random board. It's a bad day for everybody at this point. I got confused on who the characters were, so I just have Ty, Eric, Estrada. I think that must mean Ed. I would say that's Ram.

I was thinking Ram too. You painted a picture when you said that. This wasn't Ram though. Axe guy's gonna kill Ram and then this guy runs and jumps up onto the backswing of the axe to take the axe hit himself. No, he did not mean to do that. They show him leaping into the fray like I'm gonna have my heroic moment and then the axe guy just leans back and like hits him by accident on the backswing and completely takes him out. He's just like, oh my god, my moment. Oh no. Yeah, I couldn't tell if this was a bad take or if this was intentional. I think it's how a stuntman delivers a punchline. I think it's the only way they know. Okay. I was trying to remember, was this before or after the passing wind sequence? This is before. Before. Before.

Sorry for the spoilers, because I was thinking maybe he was so embarrassed by that he was trying to jump on the axe. Right. Well, the W.I.M.P. team is, is it Joy or Fern? It's one of the ladies that is repeatedly kidnapped. I just love, I love the recurring bit that every time the bad guys find one of the ladies, they kidnap them for like two minutes and then the woman's like, oh right, I can kick your ass and then just kicks their ass. But it's one of the women and it's

Tyrob Schneider and the old man Ram. And so it's Ed, I think, who took the accidental axe blow and bought them enough time to run away and hide. Now there's another event for the gamblers. It's not a fight, this is a race to murder. I'll let Speedy Arnold explain. It's not a fight. This is a race to murder. I'll let Speedy Arnold explain. Now's your chance to find your good luck again. We have a special bet on this young man. A bounty's on his head. Three of our best fighters will get double their pay if they can bring him down. This is a timed event. They've got 10 minutes to capture or kill him. If you bet the underdog, $100,000 makes you half a million. Place your bets.

So, okay. Five to one is how we would say that normally. Why can't you just say that? Do you think you're inventing this? He didn't give the full menu anymore. I like that though. It's just like the one option. You can bet on him or not. So now everyone's hiding from axe tanking. It's a full horror movie. He's like scraping the floor with his axe at one mile an hour. And this is where, this is the fart scene. So, I don't know, Russ, did you want to try to explain this fart scene? This was weird. Basically, it was the Scooby-Doo where they're trying to hide from the bad guy and something happens that reveals their position. However, it's whatever character, I lost track.

But when they're hiding, he accidentally passes gas and the other two are holding their nose and kind of push him out as the sacrifice. And it's just, it's something. The darn fart blew their cover. I haven't seen a movie with a fart joke in a little bit, so it was kind of a step back. I don't know. It was a real intense fart joke, too, because he farts and they're like, oh, geez, he's going to hear the fart.

But then they're like holding their nose. You're like, okay. And then like it cuts away, it cuts back, cuts away, cuts back. And they're still holding their nose, which in movie passage of time, this is like, how long is this fart spark gonna linger here? What happens next is so fucking awesome because Axe Tank swings and misses, but he hits an oil can, and he's like,

oh darn, I hit an oil can, he lifts it up, right over his head, dripping oil all over himself. He's like, oh damn it, oh damn it. Then he tries to hit somebody with the axe, and he's scraping sparks everywhere, and like, everyone has seen this coming for like an hour by now. Finally lights himself on fire with his own backswing. I guess his one weakness all along was just being dumb as shit. No, because he's not weak to fire. He enjoys the fire. He's like, oh, fuck yeah. Now I'm

flaming Jason with a fire axe. Let's keep this going. But we don't know that yet. From what we can tell right now, he leaves to burn alive. He's like, OK, I'm going to go off and die somewhere because armor car replaces him. Armor cars like, all right, I'm back in this movie. Now, I want to just emphasize the first time we saw we saw Supercar and its super kung fu, it was outside. They were outside this house. They were in like a dirt lot and it was in its element.

Now it's inside the warehouse. It's inside the rooms and not in like the big main room. Just like the side store rooms. And it's trying to fight people inside those rooms. That's an incredible, an incredible scene. They do a flashback to show us that this guy's also a caterer like we care. He's the waiter who can only bark and it seems like I'm making that up, but no. They do a flashback to reveal like this is the waiter they hurt or offended and he's just started going RAR RAR RAR Mad Max dog, man. Axtank is fine. He comes back in and now he is just flaming Jason. So now he's teamed up with Armored Car because they're just doing a boss rush.

It's time to do a boss rush. They somehow get like pincered around them. So our heroes like facing off against the car and then Axtank like bashes through the cement wall. And of course, he just runs over the car and the car hits Jason Voorhees. And that's when we first find out he's immune to human damage, not supercar damage. Spider-Guy fights Ed, the Jackie Chan guy, on like some concrete like they find this the skeleton of industry like they find this unfinished building and they're just dashing

around. Is it a fucking zeppelin dock? What is this building? Yeah, I don't know. What was it supposed to be? It's just like weird skeletal cement ribs sticking out the ceiling of this warehouse. Like I don't even have a theory what that really was for. I think it's just for this.

I think it's they built this building and said someday a Jackie Chan will fight a Spider-Man here. I mean, it rules. Don't get me wrong. It's great because you can also see a lot of the the countryside and they're like a block from civilization. There's cars and shit driving around. Yeah, they just sit. Like it's a three minute walk to a coffee shop. So Ed survives the 10 minute death chase by hiding from Spider-Guy. He wins a washer and dryer.

So now they fight. Pod finds Joy. She's hanging from some girders. In a fucking missile silo. What is this building? Yeah, it's like a full missile silo. It's a good point. But he can't climb up to her because there's like a little foam core door that he can't kick down.

He's like a super door blocking the way. So he's going to jump out to the girder and like grab her. But then he gets interrupted by Palm. I'm not making mistakes. Pod gets interrupted by Palm. Mascara Ninja comes out, kicks Palm to his death. But instead of showing what happens, they cut back to the evil base.

And one of the prostitutes asked the evil TIE gambler, like, how can you bet on TIE people dying? As if like, they keep doing this in the movie. They keep appealing to the humanity of the villains. And they're like, I do not care about people. Ha ha ha ha. I am evil. Well, what he actually says is, it's their special ability. She says, why, how can you bet on TIE people getting hurt? And he says, it's their special ability. That's also been the theme of the movie so far. Like this is a stunt team and they wanted to show that

they get hurt the best. Like, he's not wrong. I mean, he sucks, but he's not wrong. And I thought he was the only one in that cabin or whatever. He didn't sound like he learned English from an FMV game. Like he actually was the only one who could speak. Maybe French guy, God bless him. Again, I can't speak another language. I can't pretend to, but they did not give them a good opportunity to try to use English. I think it's, I love the charm of that. I love someone who doesn't speak English getting cast in a role that requires them to speak English.

But anyway, his point is money has its own nationality. It doesn't make any sense. But I think Brockway's right that this is the theme of the movie that they're really good at falling off of stuff as a people. So okay, now that the cutscene is done, it comes back to pod and the door pops open. It's just it's I don't even know how they did it. It's not an automatic door. It's just like a fucking like a door you'd have on your bathroom. Speedy Arnold has since looked up how gambling works and now he explains it like this.

Pressure good fortune because we're getting late in the game. A simple one. Will it get her back or not? Odds against him are three to one. Place your bets. What the fuck was that? So you know what odds are. I guess he just thinks we figured it out by now.

Let's see, let me check my notes here. It looks like Wimp Squad, they're resting up and then they scatter. So Ram Fern and Linda Hunt, they all just go different directions. Pod confronts Mascara Ninja and they have an insane fight. He has a katana sword, Pod has nothing. They're fighting over the sword, they juggle it, they're kicking it, they're... I swear to God, the punk rock samurai teleports twice in that fight Yeah, and I'm not joking like I think that they actually gave him the power of teleportation that fight two times and just played it real Subtle because like he even reacts like what the fuck like just for a second

He goes to like punch him and then he's upside down hanging from the ceiling. He's like what yeah, like he's got ninja powers We've mentioned Jackie Chan, but it's also kind of a Tony Jaa movie. It's got some Donnie Yen, it's got some Iku Ues. It's just kind of everything these guys obviously love and are good at and it all gets put in the movie. The other thing I like about this fight is there's a lot of foibles, like fuckups. There's a lot of adjustments they make to their footwork

and they keep it all in it. It just kind of makes it more real. Like you can tell, like these guys are adjusting to miscues and improvising. I would agree. It feels like they're dancing their own song. They're not dancing together. They're, yeah, that's all I would agree with. The fights are up there with the greats. Obviously the movie has some problems storytelling wise, but you just can't beat this type of shit. The other guys, they see Pom get killed by ninjas, like Pom fell presumably to his death but then they go over to

his body and stab it and take him away and they're like, oh no, Pom! Well, everybody can fall two stories. It's not a big deal. That's true. That's a good point. Yeah, we opened the movie with that. We opened the movie by showing they're immune to that. So they were just like, ah, classic, Paul. He's probably OK. Speaking of classic, like the second he dies and gets dragged off, Tyrop Schneider goes, what a day. Just pick your fucking moment for your catchphrase, man. Yeah. Yeah, they all go down in their morning, their friend's death,

and then they get a phone call from the other room. So they're like, oh, what's this phone ringing the bad guys come in and they're like, ha ha ha We are evil then James comes out and he's their friend from earlier. He's like, hi guys. I betrayed you Yeah, you did you fucking classic James move. He needed the money then they reveal palm is alive and evil There's no generosity that will explain this. Why the fuck did they do this? They just killed him two minutes ago for no reason. It is, it's so stunning and frustrating and how pointless it is. They just, they love all the twists and the twists aren't done. No, not even close. There's the biggest one yet. I don't want to do it. You do it, please.

The biggest betrayal yet, the one that hurts the most the final traitor is Ty Rob Schneider and you know what he says Classic but all vindictive like Urkel going did I do that? I love that they don't give a shit like all the others they go Oh, and then Pong comes out and they go and then Ty Rob Schneider's like I have been evil and they're like, uh-huh Yeah, we just met you last night. Yeah, we don't really care. We can't give the wrong party. Yeah. There was no point to it either. He wasn't like giving intel to anybody.

He was just kind of hanging around. He got farted on that one time, but that's basically it. That's the only, that's his involvement. He didn't even sabotage anybody. He helped a few times. Yeah. I don't know why they did any of this. Because you gotta have a Rob Schneider in the mix. I mean, remember, this is televised.

They also cut back to reveal like, oh my god, remember when Lerm saw that guy take his mask off? That was POM. Yeah, okay. It's just 15 minutes straight of reveals. To no end. But the gamblers love it. They're all back watching it.

I'll let Speedy Arnold explain the stakes of the final bit. You will always deserve a grand finale, Mr. Sneed. Arnold explain the stakes of the final bet. They've been betrayed. They got vengeance on their minds. Put up a hundred thousand dollars. The boys win, we'll pay you four hundred thousand. Or, bet against them. You have to put up three hundred thousand to win a hundred thousand. There's not much left. Take your best shot at winning big. It just gets in the way. It went in big. It just gets in the way. It not only makes them do their own math, but now they're like, wait, so he said 300,000. So if I don't put up, if I want to only put up 200,000, what are the odds? It doesn't help anything. Plus the numbers are too small. At first they're talking 5,000, 6,000, now they're at 200,000. That doesn't seem like a lot for this level of production.

Like, you killed 50 teams of stuntmen to make this day happen, and now you're hoping to get a cut of four people betting six figures. I don't know. I think if you total it all up, it would be like $1.2 million that has changed hands here. It's like, I know life is cheap in Thailand, but come on. Pod's like, okay, what happens if we win? And he's like, oh, you just have to keep playing until you die. Also, we have your mom prisoner, like fighting for this. It's just one thing after another. So burnt out by the twist at this point.

Everybody's just like, I'm not, I'm not gasping for that one. And then every ninja penetrates the dome. It is so fucking crazy. It's a kick convention There's just huge shots of 50 stuntmen all bashing the feet and wooden boards into each other. It is Lord of the Rings shit It's so awesome And then they realize so you've got this huge shot like all these ninjas come in all of the good guys are down there All of the like themed villains good guys are down there. All of the like themed villains charged down there. You've got fucking well ghost monkey style.

Yep. You got the Tito Ortiz. You've got maybe the waiter. I don't know if I saw him in there. You got you have fucking Jason Voorhees prowling around killing people. It's this massive shot. And then halfway through it, they discover, wait a minute, this is a pottery warehouse. And they just start smashing pots over each other.

It's the most chaos. And then fucking Supercar comes out and starts doing donuts in the middle of it, and each donut is just killing good guys and bad guys. It's the most chaos I've ever seen. I was thinking about now, you have to wonder what Team Stunt for Life is doing right now, because they're like, oh win we're not going to Hollywood That's the only thing on their mind They have no idea what they miss out on they're gonna be so sad when they see this scene

I'm gonna be like fucking that look like it ruled this scene is so scary because they really did just have an armored car run It our drive out there do donuts and the stuntmen are kind of falling on each other There's too many people in this shot and it's not very well choreographed I don't think. It feels like they're all just, yeah, fucking let's figure it out, day of. So they're kind of falling in, bouncing into each other. A few guys almost got run over. The director of this movie also did a movie called Born to Fight, which is equally insane.

But there's this part in that where there's two semi trucks next to each other and a person falls directly down between them and they're in motion. Well they learn from that, I guess, because in this there is a truck, a moving truck fight scene and they're going very slow. They're like, let's not lose another man. And there's only one. So they're, he learned like two trucks too much. One truck, perfect. Manageable. The master car kung fu, he accidentally pins the axe tank guy into a shipping container and he's just like calmly,'s just calmly waits to die for the rest of the fight. He's just hanging out.

Yeah, that's his weakness. He can be killed by no man and then Supercar was like, I'm no man. And then our good guys just start kicking the car to death. They bury the car in the bodies of his friends. It's the fucking bonus level from Street Fighter, except for it's filled with corpses. So good. They like they're knee bombing guys through the car. It's just a mass grave of Thai stuntmen on the car. And he's in there screaming like- In and wrapped into the car. It's incredible.

He's getting crushed. So then they do boss battle number 28, when the evil caterer is like, okay, my team sucks. I'm going to down and kill everyone myself all by myself. And he's way too good. He's like doing pressure point neck punches and shitty snapping bones and turning off nervous systems. He's grabbing eyeballs. He at one point he lines up all of our good guys like a raft and then beats up Ed with a pole. He beats up the girls. This was very telegraphed, but his asthma kicks in. And now it's like, it's kind of like when they're trying to keep Thanos from closing his glove. It's like they're all just desperately trying to keep him from his inhaler, like making heroic lunches for his inhaler. They all become like limpets and just attach to him. Their only hope is like, I'm gonna weigh him down. And then they play the inspirational, like final scene of Independence Day music

while an old man desperately reaches for his asthma inhaler and they kick it away and then bite it in half in front of him and then he dies of suffocation. And you're like, yes, yes. Very literally eight disabled people beating an asthmatic old man to death. That's just like the Only way to describe it. They don't even beat him to death They deny him his medication to death is that as how this final fight scene and they're just HMO eight different HMOs

And Ram comes in and he beats fucking penguin squeals out of tie Rob Schneider and they won Except wait like so Rob Schneider. They won. Except, wait, so much has happened. They're like, wait, shit, we got to go get Pom's mom. The bad guys are going to go to the airport, Pod is up, he's on the tail of the last bad guys, Lerm joins him. Now they're doing a stealth gun mission. You realize, oh my God, there's still so much fucking movie left.

Not just more stuff to do, motorcycle Kung Fu masters come out. The three guys come out and they do motorcycle Kung Fu. And they've never been mentioned. Like there's no, they were just waiting out here just in case. Like, okay, I've got an expert dirt bike Kung Fu squad. I'm going to park them out here. I've killed 50 stunt teams, never had to use them. But you know, just in case I need to jump kick somebody with a bike, because they jump kick them not on the bike, with the bike. It rules.

It does rule. And I don't think Pod's like a great gunfighter, because he's got a gun, but then he runs up and he sees all the gamblers coming out of their shipping container, and he doesn't even know who they are. He just starts opening, he just saw some rich ladies getting out and start shooting them. It's just really lucky for him that these are the bad guys in the movie. They're doing five different Jackie Chan bits at once.

I can't believe this movie is still ending. I feel like this movie started ending about a half hour into it, and then it's just all been ending. Under the truck, Pod wraps a tube around Simon Cowell's neck, and he's dragging him from the truck. Lerm is doing like hit 500 of a 45,000 hit combo on Speedy Arnold. There's another gentleman's jump off. Ao and a Kung Fu biker are on dirt bikes, and they just like jump into each other for, I don't know why they agreed to that. It's so fucking

awesome. They just knew it would rule. I think it's like that special moment in a dance when you both make eye contact and you're like, yeah, let's do this. Dirty dancing moment. They're like, fuck yeah, Patrick Swayze. I know exactly what you want to do. Jump into my arms. No, jump head into my head.

Okay. That'll work too. They finally stop Speedy Arnold and the cops show up and Pod's like, hey, that's the bad guy, take him away. Oh my God, but the cops are bad. And they give Speedy Arnold a cigar. And am I mistaken or is that like, nothing happened? Like he gets away, he wins the movie.

He gets away. Yeah, that's the end for him. He learned no lessons. He thought that kicked ass and he made like maybe either, he made either $700,000 or $100,000. It was a classic day for Mr. Sneed is what. And it would take him an hour to explain. How much money did you make today? So classic. Well, I made, if you count $400,000 minus $200,000. Oh, god damn it. They stuck the landing,

I would say 15 different times. I think it's okay that one of the endings sucked. But then they do have a final, final ending, which is they cut to the hospital. It's that very first scene where everyone in the hospital is completely fucked up recovering from mortal injuries. But then they get up and dance. They get up and just have a fucking dance party. And that's it. That's the ending. They just get up and have a dance party. and there's no way any other movie should end any other way except for this, right? Like go to the final scene, show everybody either you're heartbroken or like sadly triumphant or injured or dead or whatever. And then everybody gets up, they have a dance party, cuts credits. Yep. Brad Pitt pulls Gwyneth Paltrow's head out of a box.

She starts just face dancing. What a fucking perfect movie. Just chaos on every level, stacked on top of chaos. Full of corpses. God rest in peace everybody involved with this movie. It was worth it. The one thing I was kind of hoping that would have been in it, because the last time I was on we had discussed the incredible Streets of Fire, I was hoping there would be a TARP involved somehow.

So I was looking for that to kind of bring it back to the previous one. Like that's my time. I'm your TARP guy. You guys see the movie The TARP? Yeah, you're the TARP guy. Next movie that has a TARP, we gotta get Rusty back on. I'm on it. Hit me up.

I bet they dragged a lot of these stuntmen back to their families in tarps. The craft is mit Traz is nicht ohne! Schick die in de Hunde so! Für eine Stunde! Komm schon! Du kennst die Nummer! Einstein Hunde! Einstein Hunde Frankfurt! Einstein neuer Neuer! Einstein Hunde Frankfurt! Einstein Hunde!

Einstein Hunde Frankfurt! Einstein neuer neuer Neuer! Ja! Neutausend! You know, you know, you knew it Yah! Noy Towson! As children, they were lost to the wilds of Florida when their parents' yachts were exploded by Skeletor. Raised by wolves, they must now re-enter society with only the help of a manimal, a little person toy genius, and Hulk Hogan on a sentient speedboat, they are the Supremes. Aaron Crosston, Adrian H, Aiden Moak, Alex Nolenberg, all raised by wolves, Alpha Scientist Jabo, Hun Andy, Armando Nava was raised by wolves, Rich Wolves, was raised by wolves. Rich wolves. Bim Talzin. Brandon Garlok. Brian Saelan. Burrito. All wolf kids. Everyone. Seryl. Chase. Cheddar Wolf is one of the wolves who keeps raising

these damn kids. Clementine Danger. Common Sense was orphaned by a Skeletor and has vowed revenge on all skeletons. ALL. SKELETONS. Craig Lemoine. Quavis. Dan B was raised by sentient speedboats who have sadly passed. Vroom vroom Dan B! That means I'm sorry for your loss in speedboat.

Daniel Sloane. Devon the Rogue Supreme. Daniel Sloan. Devin the Rogue Supreme. David Shull. Dean Costello was raised by wolves and violently destroys all clothing, unless it's from his natural prey animal, the silkworm. Delta Foxtrot. Doug Redmond is raising wolves. That's...

Get outta here, Doug Redmond. Drayson. Dusty's rad title. Eric Rion. Every zig was raised by coyotes and is frequently a victim of wolf racism. Fancy Shark. Gareth is a little toy genius. For the government.

Nice try, narc genius. Get out of here. Jell-o-ho. Good Satan and his hot witches. Greg Cunningham. Hambone. Haraka. All feral wolf children. It's a real societal problem. Harvey Panguini. Honk.

Javer Al-Aidin is howling. It sounds... sad. Wait. That's not sadness. It's party. It's party, wolf, everybody! James Boyd Jared Mountainman Jeff Haraski Jim Salter was raised by snakes. Watch him slither. John Dee. John McCammon. John Minkoff.

Joseph Surrows. Pretty much the whole J-section, all Wolf Kids. Josh S. Joshua Graves. Justin B. was raised by ants. And now with the speed and strength of an ant, he faces a lot of difficulty in day-to-day life. Ken Paisley, K&M, Kumutlas, Kyle Campbell. Lane Haygood is a wolf child psychologist here to do some potting training. Thank fucking god you're here Lane Haygood. This place, I think it's everyone's territory.

Lisa, Lucas Keen is out of control on pure distilled Hulkster scent. It's banned in 92 countries and for good reason. M. Jahee Chapelle. Mark Mahoney. Matt Riley. Max Perroy is a sentient speedboat who kills Skeletors. Not so fun now, is it, Skeletors? Michael Dillon.

Michael Lair Mickey Loman Mike Stiles Moju Mort was raised by wolves. Hot Wolves. What? She's a whiff, Mort.

That's all I'm saying. Mr. Bob Gray ND Neil Bailey Neil Schaeffer Necu104 Ornry Weevil was raised by feral toy geniuses and only speaks the language of exploding pterodactyls, Ozzy Olin, Patrick Herbst, Rachel, Rhiannon, Sarkovsky, Sean Chase, Spotty Reception, Static Dust is an

adoptive wolf parent taking in unwanted human children and teaching them to bite and snarl. We've got Mother's Day, we've got Father's Day, where's Wolf Day cowards? Super Knot, Ted H, Thomas Kavatsos, Timmy Leahy, Toasty God was raised by wolves and still speaks fluent wolf to this day. If things go south next election, that wolf passport is gonna come in handy. Tommy G. Velo. Booster can turn into any animal but it hurts so much don't ask her. Waylon Russell.

Zack and Ava. Benjamin Sironin. Boy. Hulk. Boy. Little Person Toy Genius. Simon Sironin Boy Hulk Boy Little Person Toy Genius Boy Sentient Speedboat Boy Skeletor Ah, he's not getting it. Let's send him to live with the Navajo, everybody!