The Dogg Zzone by 1900HOTDOG - Dogg Zzone 9000 - Episode 191, Vincent Gallo Merch

Episode Date: September 4, 2024

Seanbaby and Brockway are joined by guest, Jason Pargin, to rummage through the yard sale that actor/director Vincent Gallo's life has become. Deep discounts on his childhood memories, his racism, and his semen! WOW!

1-900-HOT-DOG 1-900-HOT-DOG Our podcast slams with maximum hype. Say Hot Dog Podcast Word. Yeah. When you taste that nitrate power, you're in the dog zone for an hour. Come on.

You know the numbers. 1-900 1-900-HOT-DOG Welcome to the DogZone 9000, the official podcast of 1900hotdog.com. We are the last outpost in the fight for the good internet. Support us at patreon.com slash 1900hotdog. You get daily articles about unthinkable media left here by the wrong universe, a chance to be a part of Discord events, and other. I'm Sean Baby from the Dawn of the World Wide Web, and you've seen my partner's buns featured in the deleted scenes of seven cancelled Warner Bros. projects.

He's author and hunk. Robert Brockway! I can't keep getting away with this. It's art erasure. I just… I get so mad about it. Here's a Brockway fact. I can afford to fuck Vincent Gallo one and a half times a year.

He'll never impregnate me though. No follow up questions. I have none. I know exactly what you mean. Our guest is a standout TikToker and a New York Times bestselling novelist. He's hunking author, Jason Pargin. So look, here's what happened.

It's, there's a lot going on. We've got a new round of polls in for the election. We've got the debate coming up between Trump and Kamala Harris is coming up in a couple of weeks. Disney Plus canceled the Alkali. A lot of fans outraged about that. So much out there that we could talk about. So I messaged everybody in Slack and said, Hey, have you seen Vincent Gavileau's website

that he made in 2005 where he offered to have sex with fans for $50,000? And I'm like, OK, we need to clear our schedules and do a podcast, an emergency pod about this before it gets away from us. I'm really glad we're doing it too. I care. I wouldn't surprised as anybody to find this out, but I care way more about Vincent

Gallowscock than I do about modern Star Wars. That's fair. You know what we should do is some plugs before we start talking about obviously Star Wars. Right. That's the whole reason we do this. We would have done this for free. We almost did. Jason, your book is coming out either shortly or when this podcast drops, right? It is coming out on September 24th, but I have tricked both of you because I got you to do a podcast about this man who in his sad post-fame life tried to sell a lot of merchandise, including his own ejaculate, possibly as a joke or more likely as a way to pay his mortgage before he got kicked out of his home. I am plugging the fact that if you are hearing this before the book comes out on September

24th, you can get a signed copy. And some of you out there are big enough fans, that would be a thing. Now we do not charge any extra for signed hardcovers of the upcoming book. I'm starting to worry about this black box of Doom. It costs exactly the same cover prices if you got it anywhere else because my signature does not add any value to a book. Any book. Are you listening, Vincent Gallo?

There is only one way to get one of these. There's a cool indie bookstore here in Nashville. No, you do not have to show up here. They will ship it to you anywhere in the world. Go to, write this URL down, bit.ly forward slash sign my box. This is not a bit. I know it's hard sometimes to tell when I'm doing a bit. People have ordered over 1,400 of these so far and I have to go in and sign a giant mountain of books.

It takes all day. It is hell that I'm willing to do it. There is also a way to support a bookseller that is not Amazon. Again, I go and I sign these myself. This is not the thing we signed a bunch of stickers and some machine puts the stickers on the books. I handle these books myself or breathe on them with my own two hands and I sign my signature on them while other people have to take them and put them in boxes and it takes all day. Again, if you want to sign copy, this is pre-order only. If you are hearing this after September 24th, you missed it. The URL is bit.ly forward slash signmybox that should take you to the website of a bookstore called Parnassus Books and from there,

ordering a copy is no different from ordering it off Amazon. They will ship it to you. That's it. If you are making if you're making just boilerplate royalties on hard covers, and you've already moved 1400 of these, if we if we can drive some sales people, that's only like 17,000 more books before Jason can afford to have sex with Vincent Gallo. We can do this. Jason can afford to have sex with Vincent Gallo. We can do this. Let's make it happen, listeners. We keep hinting at what we're about to talk about, and I know the listeners are very confused, but you guys still need to plug your website in your Patreon,

which we were just about to forget to do. You're absolutely right. We were we were going to forget to do that. Brockway, you go ahead, please. Well, Sean plugged the Patreon, but we can plug the the Rival? Sister podcast? Not rival. I'm gonna say rival podcast of ours. Big Feets! Definitely rival. Big Feets, where all three of us, yes, yes us, right here, watch every single episode of Hillbilly Reality Monster Hunting Show Mountain Monsters, and it us, right here. Watch every single episode of Hillbilly Reality Monster Hunting Show Mountain Monsters.

And it's just getting amazing. We're right in the middle as we record this of a psychic Bigfoot harem. Two-parter. It's going off the rails real quick. We also just started, here's another thing we forgot to do. We forgot to tell everybody that we started doing it as a video podcast. You can find our YouTube channel, 1-900-HOTDOG on YouTube and watch all of us talk about it just like listening to us except for with more faces. My favorite feedback so far is everyone saying how they can tell how much we love the show.

Like we're all just, we all smile through the whole podcast. And we're all laughing. But you can hear, we're not one of the podcasts that cut our laughter like some podcasts do. So did you think we were all just like if you turn the cameras on, we'd all just be stone faced, like miming laughter perfectly. I am right now. That laugh I just gave was like. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. Yes, that son of a bitch. The inaugural Big Feet's video has doubled the traffic of anything else in your YouTube channel.

Oh, more than that. It's up to almost 2,000 views right now, which is way more for our channel that we forget to tell anybody that we have. I think this is the first time I've ever mentioned it to anybody. Don't worry about it. Yeah. Don't worry about it. I really like our no marketing policy.

I think it's great. We don't even have anybody that's heard of marketing. Yeah, it's the best that way. I gotta confess, there's no real way to prepare for this episode in part due to the insincerity and insanity of our subject, but also my baby decided to just stop sleeping this week. So today's gonna be a little chaotic mess around as we explore the enduring ruins of actor Vincent Galla's website. So if you want to pull it up, I'm going to have it here on my iPad ready to go.

This, yeah, like Jason said, this is 2005, maybe 2007. I found Wayback Machine from 2007. To get in, you have to click a little heart under two pictures of Vincent Galla, which I thought was a hilarious touch. So he was 47 at the time of starting this website. And his career was kind of in decline. I mentioned that because there is a real desperation to this website, like he was failing artistically and professionally. So he seems like he was retreating into some kind of a cult of personality thing. Like this is his Trump trading cards or his clerks three.

It's like a guy doing what he thinks is fan service, but it's mostly narcissism, if I'm making sense. Okay, let me pause just a moment. Is there a chance that some of our listeners or most of them do not remember who Vincent Gallo was? Because he was famous in the 90s. There was a brief moment when like film bros, everybody knew who he was. He was a controversial director slash actor. As he said, one of those guys that writes, directs, acts, stars in his own movies and was famous for one specific scene.

I'm not going to explain it. I imagine you're talking about Brown Bunny. The bowling scene from Buffalo 66? Right. I actually watched this in prep for the podcast because I had never seen it before. I just knew that everyone hated it. But this was a scene where in Brown Bunny, he famously did a full unsimulated blowjob scene to completion with Chloe 70. And it sucks. It's real awkward. They have the body language, like this tense panic of two people making their first

sex tape. It's also like real insecure and maybe suspicious that Vincent Gallo's face and dong never appear in the same frame. Like I thought that was like, did this coward use a stunt cock in his famously unsimulated sex scene? I don't know if that's a scandal or not. I don't know if I just broke that story. That is like the main selling point of what I am assuming is the bulk of his business now. So, this is fraud, sir. If you, if you use that stunt cock, you have made it legally prosecutable. So as you guys know, I, we had done previously, for example, the Corey Feldman episode, I am fascinated by how some people handle

post-fame if they had a moment and then as time goes on, how comfortable are they to fade into the sunset or how desperately do they not? This is one of the sadder examples. I know that's not a good way to introduce a comedy podcast. I find this absolutely fascinating. I 100% expect that someday I myself will be a sad weirdo. So you can throw this back in my face when I'm in my 60s and I'm doing whatever desperate thing to try to get attention.

But here was a guy who in his youth when he was a director, his whole thing was, he's an iconoclast, he's a rule breaker, and the fact that his movie had an unsimulated blowjob in it, that was 100% of the buzz, the marketing campaign, the whole thing. And that was, you know, he... So if you had to predict what would become such a man when he gets to be in his 60s, and would he become a vaguely or even a rabidly like pro-Trump type, Kedrock type figure? You guessed right. But that's just, that's the least weird part of it.

Yeah, that's like their only path. I think that's probably 10% of his voter base is former child stars, former like youth stars that have not handled their loss of fame very well. Go for the Jonathan Taylor Thomas vote. The critics agreed that this did suck. There was an exchange he had with Roger Ebert that was famous enough that it made it to the Wikipedia for Brown Bunny. Roger Ebert said it was the worst film in the history of Cannes. Do you guys know about this exchange?

Yeah, I do remember. So Ebert said it's the worst film. Yeah, he didn't really give it a ton of attention, right? He says this fucking sucks. Because yeah, he made like bad pornography and tried to pretend it was art, which is, I don't know, a childlike, I guess. It's like one of the first questions a freshman artist would, freshman art major might ask that the teacher be like, God, shut the fuck up with every year, there's one of you kids. But Vincent Gallo responded by saying that Roger Ebert was a fat pig with the physique of a slave trader. Everything before fat pig was a quote. He really said that

word for word. And like, oh, no, he went there. I don't get what the fuck this means. But I do know that like if you're going to call someone fat and invoke slavery, you've kind of already maxed out your edginess. So at this point, you can say anything. Get crazy with it, get personal with it. But he didn't. He's like, no, you're fat and slave trade. It's like saying you're a juice box or a fire hydrant. I don't know, fatty. Also, I'm racist. It's just garbage, right? So this did not hurt Roger Ebert's feelings, obviously. He's probably well-insulated from fat references. So he snapped back with a classic fat joke comeback. He says, one day I will be thin, but you will always be the director of Brown Bunny.

Okay, so Vince Agallo, who is a genius, responded to that by putting a witch hex on Roger Ebert's butthole, like a cancer curse. That was his comeback. I hope you get colon cancer. Checkmate. So like Vincent Gallo is a real life four chantine and has been for 20 years. The point is, that's why you don't start with slavery. You can't escalate to anything. So Roger Ebert at this point, nothing is hurting him.

And he says, he came back to that. He said, watching a colonoscopy video is more entertaining than the brown bunny. So that is sort of where it ended except Vincent Gallo did get asked about it and he says he wanted to clear things up. He wanted Roger Ebert to get prostate cancer, not colon cancer. And also, he was joking which yeah, man, no one didn't get that. The point is that that was a shitty joke and you're a terrible person. I hope Roger Ebert at some point was cast a rival curse on. Like I and you're a terrible person. I hope I hope Roger Ebert at some point was Cast a rival curse on like I hope you're a forgotten internet gigolo someday

We could just both both curses have sort of come true so the thing is that he did make one movie that was well regarded in 1998 he made a film called Buffalo 66 that people liked. And this was in that indie film Renaissance era that gave us Quentin Tarantino and a bunch of guys. And some of those filmmakers stayed around and some of them became creepy old weirdos. So in some ways, he's kind of been living off of that 26 year old success this whole time, I think, because Brown Bunny was five years later, everybody hated it. The next movie after that was seven years later. And he's one of those guys where I wonder, I've always wondered this, because there's certain filmmakers, when you look at their IMDB, they go like seven years between films. And I've always wondered, do they make enough off residuals that they can just chill out

for seven years? They can just wait around and go at most of a decade before making a film. And you look at Vincent Gallo's, it's kind of like that. He does, you know, he'll show up in bit parts and then short films and stuff like that. But it's like, how does he pay his bills? And so that's part of what why I found his merchandise website fascinating. Yeah, he has sold some merchandise on his page. And if this is to believed, he has made several thousand dollars from selling things. So I mean, that's that'll keep you going for seven years. The point is, I wanted to share that story because he doesn't have what anyone I respect would call a sense of humor. But he's definitely the kind of guy that says, like horrible things. And that's the entire joke. So as we're as we're going through his page,

it's hard to say if he really does believe these things are like, for example, if he really does think mixing races should be illegal, or if he just likes to see the dumb look on the face of non-racists when he says it. But that's the kind of hilarious gag we might end up talking about. All that being said, Vincent Gallo is very obviously a stupid racist maniac, and he proves that at least 20 times on his website. Yeah, he wants the excuse of this being a joke. It's the kind of guy who will say something that outs his entire shit and then when the room goes quiet he'll be like, oh, you can't take a joke? That's this entire website because he does say on his IMDB at some point, oh, that was

all a joke at my website. But was it? But not if you want to buy it. Not if you want to buy something, that was all a joke at my website. But was it? But like, not if you want to buy it. Not if you want to buy something. It's not a joke. It's very, it's very like hipster irony defense, which, which was kind of invented and certainly refined in his time. Another thing he can't let go of. Before we talk about the main thing that we're all here to discuss, let's talk about some of the other items on his merchandise. He's got Vincent Gallo's childhood Nixon campaign pin, autographed in the box, $250.

This quote is here, this is the actual campaign pin, the young budding Republican Vincent Gallo war. So there's not a ton of like, politics on his side. I mean, you sort of assume he's right wing, because he's like a cruel, stupid, racist idiot. But like, this is this is a rare place where he declares he's a capital R Republican. He put this up on the site in 2001. And there was a politician in 2000. I'm sorry, 2007.

And there was a politician in 2007 that inspired a lot of people on a certain type of people to become very Republican. I don't know who I'm thinking of. I don't know what color their skin was or what inspired this, but I feel like that's the impetus of that item. See, what I learned from this is that he was always a fucking nerd. There's that, yes. He said he wore it all through elementary and into junior high school, so if you were like a child heavily into Nixon, no,

you weren't or you're the biggest nerd I've ever met. And I also liked that that's, I think it's literally one or two, maybe two entries above his other thing that he's selling there, which is very rare, true punk rock history, his leather jacket from when he was into punk rock, right below the Nixon pin that you wore all through childhood. So punk rock. And also to prove that he's always been a fucking nerd, his true punk rock leather jacket has fringe. If I saw someone wearing a leather jacket with a Nixon pin, I would just assume they're a Nazi. I saw their leather jacket was blue with fringe on it and they were wearing a Nixon pin. I would assume like some sort of cowboy stage show, maybe?

Yeah, it's a Green Room musical. That's what that is. Without getting off on a tangent here, because we start talking about his childhood, if anyone has gone to his Wikipedia page, it claims that in his childhood that he worked for the local mafia. And then he from that began his professional career as a Formula 2 motorcycle racer, then went on to become a successful painter and musician, working with several famous artists, and then later became a model and worked with several huge brands, including Calvin Klein and H&M. So where in that do you think he became a Nixon teen?

God, everyone in those communities love Nixon. Blue fringe flapping in the wind, Nixon painted on his helmet. Did you see that he was also selling his Vincent Gallo's St. Anthony medallion from his first Holy Communion? What he refers to as the only nice thing given to him by his mother. He must really need this money. Like this is... Yeah.

Either this is... $1,000. If anyone listening is trying to play along, his merchandise website is vgmerchandise.com, like Vincent Gallo, vgmerchandise.com. And you'll see a menu here. Again, this website from 2005, it is very much a 90s era website. You'll know your right space because you should be greeted with a photo of him in a sailor suit grabbing his crotch in front of a sad wall with an electrical outlet by his leg

that for some reason makes the photo extra sad. And you'll see categories such as LPs, CDs, books, posters, magazines, miscellaneous memorabilia. And if you go to links and click on Vincent Gowo on Instagram, you will see a single post. It is a sad black and white photo of Vincent Gallo looking not great with President Trump. Standing very awkwardly apart. And that is the only post. He has 100,000 followers on Instagram. That is the only post. It is that sad photo. It is very awkward. Well, if you go through his t-shirt section, there's a t-shirt section, and that's where he keeps all of his political opinions like every normal human being. Oh, it gets fucking rough in the t-shirt. I guess let's talk about those.

Well, before we move on, my favorite piece of memorabilia. It's simple, it's uncontroversial. It's Good Brown Hat. Good Brown Hat. And I would like to read the description for Good Brown Hat. Long ago, during the legend Vincent Callow's early days of living in New York City, he came to realize that during the fall, winter, and even spring, New York City is cold. Just like the dreaded city of Buffalo where he was from. Unlike Buffalo, though, the nice folks in New York City do a lot of walking, and so

it is best to wear a hat outdoors. The good brown hat is $750 and sold out. You gotta pay the sentimental cost. Whatever Vincent Gallo like, whatever feelings he has attached to it, you have to invest in that. Like he's selling his the Vincent Gallo's childhood hop-along Cassidy bedspread. $3,000 only one available. It's the actual Chanel hop-along Cassidy bedspread Vincent Gallo was given as a Christmas present in the 1960s. It was on his bed for 30 years. So that will have a little bit of a semen on, which is a pretty big savings because I think a semen is a million dollars, right?

Yeah. If you can reconstitute that, if you can, I don't know, maybe rehydrate it somehow, you've got literally millions of dollars worth of mince and gallop semen at your fingertips. Oh, sorry, I said $3,000. That was the 2007 price. Today it's still on the site. It has increased in value to $3,120. Ooh, inflation. That's one of the most fucked up things I've found. Of all the crazy shit on the site, the fact that he added a small amount of money to his childhood bedsheets is very strange to me. Yeah, see, that's the thing.

He wants this to come off like, oh, it's all a joke, I'm too cool for this. But some of them, if you go back and check the history, some of them are for sale and then they say sold out now. And then prices will change sometimes, he'll add new things. If this is a joke, there is straight up a shopping cart and a checkout and a process to enter your credit card number and it's all set up through a system, a merch system. I mean, I bought some of his semen because it's a write-off for this podcast.

If it's a joke and he doesn't send me that semen, I'm going to be very upset. Okay, we over-in charge the petty cash. We keep joking about buying his semen. I think if the listeners have not been to the website, they don't know what we're talking about because we're saving it, but we keep referencing it. So maybe we should just hop right to his semen. I think that's fine. I probably phrased that wrong. Let's hop right on to that semen.

Let's get to that semen. If you're on the Vitz and Galo merch website and you're playing along, click on personal services. Yeah, let's do sperm first. Should we just read this? I guess it's pretty... Well, I don't want to put words in his mouth, so it's probably better for you guys to read it directly off the website because I don't want to misrepresent what he said here. Again, on the same website where you absolutely can buy other things. Mm-hmm. Yeah, presumably this is a real offer. So Vincent Gallo's sperm, $1 million.

Price includes all costs related to one attempt at an in vitro fertilization, a $50,000 value. If the first attempt at in vitro fertilization is unsuccessful, purchaser of sperm must pay all medical costs related to additional attempts. I guess let's stop there and talk about this. He's offering to fuck you, right? He's not... When he says sperm, it will be delivered by penis. That's how I like to phrase it.

Because elsewhere on the same page for $50,000, he will have sex with you. We jumped right to the sperm, but again, this is all interconnected. So it is, we're trying to take you on a journey here, but it's hard to get the whole picture all in one shot. So yes, normally he will charge $50,000 for sex. We will get to that, but that's why he says that is a $50,000 value. But yes, he is not talking about doing any kind of a scientific process here. And I don't understand what the medical costs related to additional attempts might be. Like,

do they need to, what do they need to do to Vincent Gallad to have sex a second time? And why does it cost? Why is there cost? I have a lot of questions there. Um, maybe maybe he's talking about he flies home after the sex rests up for a couple of days, then flies back and you need to pay for those plane tickets. Almost certainly business class or above. I'll just continue reading. Maybe we'll get some answers. Mr. Gallo will supply sperm for as many attempts as it takes to complete a successful

fertilization and successful delivery. So I guess he's there with you in the delivery room like feeding you ice chips. The star of Buffalo 66. Brock, why don't you take take over for where it sperm is 100% guaranteed. sperm is 100% guaranteed to be donated by Mr. yellow. What if it wasn't? Why did you? Why would you raise that? Because I wasn't going to question that until it was like, huh. He said to his neighbor, Vinnie sent me. You said something about porking? But donated by Mr. Gallo who is drug alcohol and disease free.

If the purchaser of the sperm chooses the option of natural insemination, there is an additional charge of $500,000. But you can have sex with him for $50,000. That's how they get you. They hide the extra charges in the fine print. Yeah, I don't think the economics here are working out. However, if after being presented detailed photographs of the purchaser, Mr. Gallo may be willing to waive the natural insemination fee and charge only for the sperm itself.

That's a value! That is a- that's a coup- he's got a coupon for his sperm right here. He's got it. So, I guess this is a good way to rate how hot you are, though, if Vincent Gallo- depending on the discount from $500,000. Like, if he gives you a $200,000 discount, you're like, Okay, I'm- I'm a six. I don't know- I don't know how't know if the math translates directly like that.

Those of you who have found this merchandise page are very well aware of Mr. Gallo's multiple talents. No, we're not. But to add further insight into the value of Mr. Gallo's sperm, aside from being multi-talented in all creative fields, he was also multi-talented as an athlete, winning several awards for performing in the games of basketball, football, and hockey, and making it to the professional level of Grand Prix motorcycle racing.

Citation needed. Mr. Gallo is 5'11", and has blue eyes. I mean, if you're lying about stuff, which you are, add the other inch. Add the one more inch. There are no known genetic deformities in his ancestry parentheses no cripples just just he's like there's got to be a meaner way to put that right you have to pause just to be a dick he's like i know this is crazy and i seem like a dickhead but is there i could i could punch this up i could i could do a little punch up here and no history of congenital diseases.

Uh, if you, you know what, Jason, why don't you take it from, if you have seen. If you have seen the brown bunny, you know, the potential size of the genitals, if it's a boy, parentheses eight inches, if he's like his father. I don't know exactly. I want to pause there because again, he did not appear in the same frame as the penis that was not an eight inch penis. It was like a decent one. Like when I saw it, I was like, you know, I would have expected him to have a below average penis. Just because of all the insecurities. He did not. But so anyway, not a monster hawk, but like bigger

than you'd think. Also, don't think it was his, but I'm sorry to interrupt. Continuing now again, these are not my words. I am reading from the website. For future anyone who clips this. This is not me saying this. I'm reading off of award winning director Vincent Gowell's website. winning director Vincent Gallo's website. Real quick real quick before you continue. Everybody disregard everything he just said, please take what he's about to say out of context, maybe put it on a keyboard and play a little song with it and send that to me. I'll put it on the podcast. I don't know exactly how a well hung father can't enhance the physical makeup of a female baby. But it can't hurt.

New York Times bestselling author Jason Parget. Mr. Gallo also presently maintains a distinctively full head of hair and at the age of 43 has surprisingly few gray hairs. Though his features are sharp and extreme, they would probably blend well with a softer, more subtle featured female. Wow. Mr. Gowell maintains the right to refuse sale of his sperm to those of extremely dark. I'm going to have someone else read this next part. No, I want it to be the keyboard song.

My computer crashed. My internet went out. Does anybody else still have? Yeah, I don't have it. A virus wiped, made my monitor burned out. Does anybody else still have it? Yeah, I don't have it. A virus wiped it. My monitor burned out. All right, Sean. I just wrote down like the Cliff Notes. So I wrote down his intentions. Whites only, says Mr. Gallo. Whites only. No, but his exact words were, he maintains the right to refuse sale of his sperm to those of extremely dark complexions. Though a fan of Franco Harris, Derek Jeter and Lenny Kravitz and Lena Horne, Mr. Gallo

does not want to be part of that type of integration. I was not joking earlier when I said that he has like a legit problem with race mixing. Did you guys find the Colin Ka- Oh, of course, Jason, you posted that in the Slack, the Colin Kaepernick shirt that he was selling. Yeah. He, he's selling a one of a kind Colin Kaepernick shirt for $666, autographed by Vincent Gallo, and it just says white boy. Same as his Obama shirt.

Yeah, it was rough. I had some notes on that. Oh, there's more to this part before we move on. Let's do the sperm and then we'll do the racism. There's a crossover here in the middle. Rockwee, do you want to start with the in fact for the next 30 days? In fact, for the next 30 days, he is offering a $50,000 discount to any potential female purchaser who can prove she has naturally blonde hair and blue eyes.

Anyone who can prove a direct family link to any of the German soldiers of the mid-century will also receive this discount. Under the laws of the Jewish faith, a Jewish mother would qualify a baby to be deemed a member of the Jewish religion. Here we go. This would be added incentive for Mr. Gallo to sell his sperm to a Jew mother, his reasoning being with the slim chance that his child moved into the profession of motion picture acting or became a musical performer, this connection to the Jewish faith would guarantee his offspring a better chance at good reviews and maybe even a prize at the Sundance Film Festival or an Oscar. Wow. I feel like that's a really clumsy way with a lot of words to say. I don't like the Jews.

I took it personally when no one liked my movie. To be clear, the purchase of Mr. Gallo's sperm does not include the use of the name Gallo. The purchaser must find another surname for the child. And then at the bottom, he says, the service is available, but only payable by cash check or bank wire, no credit card payments. Please email your inquiries to info at VGMurchandise.com. Now, I realized if we were a proper journalistic enterprise, we would have had someone email this and try to do this transaction and see how far we got because Vincent Gallo has of

course been asked about this in interviews and has said this is a joke. I would be fascinated to know if someone actually had the cash, could they wind up having been inseminated by Vincent Gallo? Like is it a joke until someone actually has the million? Because I don't know that he's in a position to turn down a million dollars, but I don't think he understands that this being a joke does not fix it. Yeah. At all. The problem, the problem isn't whether or not you would really go through with

putting your dick in somebody. It's the way that you got there. Like the way that you got through, uh, the way that you got through, like most of the races, and certainly all women, you just burned right through all of them and all of your relationships with them to get to it. But I wouldn't really put my dick in you. Yeah, the problem now is with all the racial stuff that you said before to get to that point. Yeah. I was gonna say this guy's horny and needy enough that he probably tries to have

sex with every fan that sends him an email. He's gotten in some trouble for that in the movies too. I think you could have sex, my point is you could have sex with Vincent Gallo for free by just telling Vincent Gallo you want to have sex with him. I found an interview with him, he did with HX Magazine, which is a gay magazine, where he did confess to being a nickel and dime sex worker. This is a quote from him, he quoted, "'I did do sexual things for money. With men I've never performed or had fellatio performed. But I did do jerk-off things. I would go in a peep booth and watch straight

porn and get paid five to ten dollars to have somebody watch me masturbate.'" I wouldn't have told anybody about that, but... That makes this much less likely a joke. Right. And it also anchors what he thinks his sex work value is, which I guess is five to $10 at one point in his life. It's it's 1.5 million now, unless you're hot, then it goes down to a million. Well, that's to take the sperm home with you. It's only 50,000 if you leave it with him. Well, that's to take the sperm home with you. It's only 50,000 if you leave it with him. Yeah, because elsewhere on this page we do have Vincent Gallo Evening's Weekend's Escort. This is the $50,000 wish, dream, or fantasy with Vincent Gallo, ladies only. Yeah.

Alright, did anybody want to read his promo copy for his own sexual services? I'm- I'm- we all do, but I'm real quick scanning through to make sure I don't say the worst parts. I'm trying to time it out. Okay, yes, I will start. Okay, you start. Have you ever watched a movie and fallen in love with one of the actors, the way they looked or a character they played? Afterwards, you thought of them over and over, daydreaming, imagining things. Sexy things. When I was very young I was madly in love with Tuesday Weld and

Charlotte Rampling. On my 14th birthday I went to see the film Rolling Thunder and had my biggest crush of all of the actresses on actress Linda Haynes. I wished and wished and wished every day that I could meet all these girls. I thought of a lot of sexy things with Susan Blakely after seeing her in Lords of Flatbush. In my mind I could do with her anything that I wanted to do. So believe me, I know and understand what it's like to wish and dream about spending time with a movie star, doing things that couples do. Couples in love. At least couples where the guy is hot and knows how to handle a chick. Oh, I just high-fived my monitor.

That is such a terrible intro. That is... just the writing is so clunky. He introduces the concept of, like, fantasizing about somebody. Like, what fantasy is he selling, though? You could fuck a movie star. Sean, do you want to read the next paragraph? I, Vincent Gallo, Jamie if I read too fast before my brain catches up, cut all the racial slurs and political slurs please.

I, Vincent Gallo, star of such classics as Buffalo 66 and The Brown Bunny, have decided to make myself available to all women. All women who can afford me, that is. For the modest fee of $50,000 plus expenses, I can fulfill the wish, dream, or fantasy of any naturally born female. Don't like that? Those are my words, not his.

Vincent Gallo very much likes that. The fee covers one evening with Vincent Gallo. For those who wish to enjoy my company for a weekend, the fee is increased to a mere hundred thousand dollars. Heavyset, older, redheads, and even black chicks can have me if they can pay the bill. No real female will be refused. However, I highly frown upon any male having even the slightest momentary thought or wish that they could ever become my client.

No way, Jose! However, female couples of the lesbian persuasion can enjoy a Vincent Gallo evening together for $100,000. $200,000 buys the... I'm not comfortable with lesbos. I'm going to say lesbos, but let's just... for the record, there's a nicer way to put that. But let's just for the record, there's a nicer way to put that buys the the gay women a weekend, a weekend that will have them second guessing. Yeah, really.

I like how there's no discount for there's no further incentive. Like two women can pay double the price. And if you want them for the whole weekend, it's double the price for two days. Okay, he's doing like free conversion therapy. It seems like that should cost extra. Like if you want me to take your lesbian couple and make them heterosexuals, that's a half a million. You will need the magic qualities of his sperm for that. As I read the disclaimers at the intro, I want you to keep in

mind if this is a piece of satire that as he claims, how strange it is to include this satire, as he claims, how strange it is to include this part, quote, reading his words, these are not my words, I am willing to travel worldwide to accommodate clients. However, travel days are billed at $50,000 plus all premium flight fees. Scanning for STDs is required as is bathing and grooming prior to our encounter. Detailed photos of potential clients also are required prior. An extra fee for security to protect me is charged on top of the fantasy fee. Security fees will vary depending on the details

of an encounter and how much security I will need. Hilarious. Potential clients are advised to screen the controversial scene from the brown bunny to be sure for themselves that they can fully accommodate all of me. Clients who have doubt may want to test themselves with an unusually thick and large prosthetic prior to meeting me, you may be surprised just how much you can handle and how good it feels. This service is available, but it's only payable by cash checks and or bank wire. No credit card payments are accepted for this item. Please email your inquiries to info at bgmerchandise.com. Now, I like how you read the last part, like the last of the now that's what I call music commercial.

Just may cause diarrhea not available in Tennessee. I would love to know. No, I wouldn't love to know. It would be interesting for someone else to find out if anyone has ever emailed this inbox testing the waters on, hey, I am a widow of a millionaire, I have the funds, you know, I'm a fan of your movies, I'm in whatever, Tampa, I'm interested in this, let's do this. And to see if there was any follow-up on that, if a thing actually occurred. I don't know. Is it crazy to say that I don't know if this is worse if it's real or if it's fake? I think you're right. It's hard to say which one makes it worse. Because it does strike me as like

a haha. Like when you ask your wife to have a threesome, like, haha, wouldn't that be crazy? I would never do that unless maybe you're into it. It's kind of provably true. Let's get into his IMDB profile real quick. If we have more to do on the site, we can come back. First of all, he very clearly wrote his own IMDB profile under a pseudonym, which is fine. I had to write my own profile. Jason, I'm sure, has had to write his own profile for all sorts of things

They make you do it and unless you have an assistant, which I don't It's just you and and so it's fine and he brags I've read several interviews with him where he brags about like this is all me everything you see is me I don't have any assistance. I don't have any PR people. It's always always me. So I don't have any assistance. I don't have any PR people. It's always always me. So If that's true, why the pseudonym to write your own IMDB profile? Because I can prove it's his it's definitely his because he in true narcissist fashion did not read or understand the prompts and So he thought the trivia section meant a timeline of his life and so he filled up the trivia section with just

when he broke up with people and personal realizations he's had that nobody else could possibly know about. And then the quotes section, he thought was just asking him for his thoughts, so he just started writing his thoughts in there and he made the quotes section into a blog. Here's a couple. Just a couple. I stopped painting in 1990 at the peak of my success just to deny people my beautiful paintings and I did it out of spite. No quotation marks or attributions there, just that's him writing. I don't trust or love anyone because people are so creepy. Creepy creepy creeps.

Creepin' around. Creepin' here, creepin' there. Creepin' everywhere. Crippity crapp Creepin' there. Creepin' everywhere. Creepity, crappity, creepy creeps. Real master of the written language. What a fuckin' idiot this guy is. And finally, I'm the happiest, the saddest guy in the world can be. That's like a fuckin' hop topic bumper sticker. Anyway, at the end of his little bio, he says on his website, vincentgallow.com is the merchandise section.

Gallo is selling his sperm and sexual fantasies as conceptual works. Gallo's internet art questions celebrity, procreation, ego, social agenda, and views of religion, race, and sexuality. These public offerings are motivated by extreme sensitivity, concept, and thoughtfulness. However, their presentation appears crude and offensive. Misrepresentation of this work is common, and Gallo is often incorrectly categorized as a racist, sexist, or homophobe. Yeah. Okay. For those of you who are still on the VGMershondice.com, if you want to click on artworks, which we looked at earlier, all of this, it's a series of handmade t-shirts

that are for sale. You can absolutely click on one and enter your payment details. There's a cart and shipping. You can get these. And they're all racist. They are not ironic racist. And if you say, well, yeah, but this is, again, this is 2005, like everybody was edgy back then. Oh, no, he's still making them. There's one

with AOC on here that I want to see scrawled across her forehead. I think it says ignorant on hers. Okay. And so yeah, and all of these are t-shirts with a photograph of some Democrat or person of color he doesn't like, except for he's got one that's just a photo of Candace Owens on which he has written the words, smart, black, beautiful. beautiful. That shirt is $666 and he claims that one sold out. The Colin Cameron-like shirt, the one that he is also selling for that much, that is him with the word white boy scrawled across his head. That one's still available for purchase, if you were thinking of it. The one that is a picture of George Washington's face that says, another of the many, many, many great white men. I feel like that's in his sense of humor. Obviously, he's he's a racist, like to the bone.

But the Kalpernick Colin Kaepernick one seemed especially racist because it says white boy on it. But the copy says, why does it seem so often the lightest skins, most entitled mulatto? We don't say that anymore are the angriest I suggest this ex-employee of the NFL read Thomas Sowell and try to stop hating himself for being so damn attracted to white women America's so great and our diversity is so powerful. Let's celebrate together and join hands earth wind and fire So it like trails off into sarcasm else. It's a one-of-a-kind shirt

There's a pull-down menu for the quantity you want to buy. Interesting choice. But this is like bigotry without any breaks. Like most racists sort of shield their hate in talking points or whatever. But this is very much like fuck this person for thinking he can still be human after I, Vincent Gallo, detected Africa in his blood. Like, but it feels real personal like he's trying to hurt Colin Kaepernick's feelings at any cost. I don't know Thomas Sowell very well. I think he was the Candice Owens of 30 years ago. Like I know I've seen him on TV, like on Rush Limbaugh or whatever.

He's the kind of the pompous black conservative that tells racists they're right. I think he came out against Trump and that's why we don't hear about him anymore. Yeah, great Paul Vincent Gallo. If you're bringing that guy up when you're talking about Colin Kaepernick, you're thinking race race race race race when you look at Colin Kaepernick. So this isn't like a ha ha. What a joke. I'm not actually racist.

It's like, it seems like that's the only thing you are here, buddy. I think we're underselling also how many of these there are. Like yes. What are you doing with your time? Like I know you think of yourself as like an underground conceptual artist and I can do anything and everything, but like, like 12 shirts. If you had 12 of these shirts and you were like, buy my one-of-a-kind items and then you went on to do something else. But to have like 50 of these and they're all the

same of like, here's a picture of a Democrat, I wrote the word jerk butt over their head, a picture of a democrat. I wrote the word jerk butt over their head. It costs you $7,000. Sorry, $666 because I'm fucking 14. Just over and over again. There's no change. It stops being art when you mass produce it like that. It's just you're making a product now for the worst people. But my favorite is that in the middle of all of this, like literally right smack dab, he takes a short break from being racist. And one of them is a t-shirt with a picture of Morgan Freeman and it just has the word hero on it and the whole description, which he normally uses to say something extremely racial, just says, Morgan Freeman is an actor I look up to. Yeah, that's not too far above the shirt that's a picture of a Civil War general that says

whites freed the blacks. Also, I think he got a bad Instacart delivery because he has a picture, I think of is it the Instacart CEO or possibly the guy who made the delivery that says it's a picture of man's face that says scumbag and then written on the man's forehead, Instacart sucks. Got him. In the description, greedy plus greasy, two wrongs don't make it right, $666. That one's still available. Again, I don't know if that was the Instacart driver that got his order wrong or didn't get it there fast enough or if this is the CEO of Instacart.

Either way, if you personally have a beef against Instacart and want to pay... Oh, and by the way, the size is extra small. So if you're a child who's extremely mad... Now, you have to be sure and click on that one and not the one two photos, two shirts above that is just a picture of George Floyd with a racist slogan on it. I'm saying this guy has disappeared down a rabbit hole that's actually weirder than you're probably thinking, because there's a point to where politics becomes mental illness, as we have observed in recent years. I fear he may have crossed that Rubicon. I don't know if that's letting him off. Before Fox News was really a thing though. Yeah, he was maybe the first. Yeah.

It's just that his satire about donating his sperm and being against race mixing, that's a joke that then you click over to his other merchants like, man, you're really, so you're going all in on this bit because these shirts you're selling, there's no indication this is a joke. It kind of seems like you're willing to accept hundreds of dollars from somebody who is a real life racist and that this has got like your name and branding on it and it's actually signed by you. Like the tag is signed by him is a limited edition. Piece of piece of art and the price gets me to because like it's not even a hundred dollars more to get a good brown hat seriously.

What that hat there's nothing there's nothing problematic around that hat it's just good brown and he invented he discovered the concept of cold and that hats work to fix it. I guess an important moment in human history. There's something I really liked in his merch stores. It was Vincent Gallo versus Marcel Duchamp. And it's the complete works of Marcel Duchamp. And Vincent Gallo has autographed that book. It says Gallo chose a rare out of print copy of the complete works of Marcel Duchamp as a backdrop to his signature, thus one-upping the great Duchamp.

Now listeners, Duchamp is the fucking guy who wrote his name on a urinal in 1917 and called it art. It's real entry-level art discussion type whatever today, but somebody had to be the first guy to do it. So a hundred years ago, maybe that was really profound. But the idea of taking that caveman idea, something any freshman liberal arts major would find childlike today, and doing a dumber version of it a century later, that is dogshit stupid. It's

like writing me too, after a Nietzsche quote, like of all his anti semitic and racist crimes, fuck Vincent Gallo the most for this. Now, click on the poster collection, and I don't know why this makes me sad, you would think, oh, these are posters for Brown Bunny and his other works that he signed. No, these are posters for other movies that he just has in his garage that he's willing to sell to you for 200 bucks. Not like signed or anything. This just films. It's like some obscure movies from the 70s. And these are just posters. Yeah. So this kind of really

does look like he's trying to pay his bills with this. He's selling this crap from around his house. He didn't even write like dumb fuck over all the Spanish people in them or anything. Like they're just, it's just undocked items that he owns and wishes to sell to collectors. And they're in bad condition. They're all like badly, like he had them all folded up for some reason and to very, so they're all creased. They're not like vintage, they're not framed or anything. It's like he just had these all folded up in a garbage bag or something in his bag.

Did you guys click on his classifieds section? Because this is like, he has a list of like specific audio equipment that you, the reader and the fan can go find for Vincent Gallo. And it reminded me of how Justin Roiland used to use his celebrity. I don't know, before he was disgraced for the sex pest stuff, he would tweet like every couple months just asking dorks for specific things. Like you'd, you know what I mean? Like he'd be like, I need tickets to this thing. Hey, someone help me out. Like you kind of see this sometimes where famous people use their celebrity like it's

their personal assistant. Like I'd like one fangirl sex please and a Venture Brothers art book right away. End of tweet. I'm not seeing that. I guess I'm not finding that on the website. Has this back on his main site It should be that I'm out there. Okay. It's not on the merch site. This is on VincentGallow.com Okay, the even more 90s somehow this website is more primitive than the

Dedicated merch. So yeah, you click on that. It's wanted It's just a bunch of stuff he wants. There was a guitar pick he was selling on the on the site that I thought was funny because in the copy it says it bugs gallows seeing a bunch of picks taped to mic stands at live shows. He decided he would maintain possession of one pick for an entire tour. Because I mean, let's change the game. Fucking one pick. No one ever thought of that before. He has a band called... How do you guys think this band is pronounced? It's all capitals R-R-I-I-C-C-E-E.

Rice! Like Tony the Tiger. Is that what you would have guessed, Jason? I guess? See, the thing is, I'm sitting here trying to read racism into it, and maybe that's unfair. That... He's just a fan of rice. Yeah.

Parentheses checks at the end. Maybe it's two rices merged together the way you wouldn't mix. Oh my god, that's what it is. This is a his band name is a statement against race mixing. I speak bad art guys. If he's got a sign to do chomp book, I get this guy. I also see he has a link to his Twitter. And I've clicked on it. He has two, he has one tweet that says account of actor Vincent Gallo started account only to stop imposters, those interested in my work or communicating go to VincentGallo.com. And then he has one single reply to someone else's tweet from April of this year. That first

post was from 2011. Thirteen years later, he posted once and it's a racial slur slash insult and reply to one of those accounts that post videos like black crime. And that was his one post to Twitter. And he's like, my work here is done. He changed the game with that one pic thing. And now he's changing the game with Twitter and Instagram. One tweet throughout the whole of Twitter. And it's very appropriate that it's that one. Amazing.

Okay. So now let's, let me talk about the real reason I wanted to talk about all this. Uh, if you went back to the Vincent Gallo when everybody thought he was cool and, or when, when film bros thought he was cool in the late nineties, when there were all these edgy filmmakers and I get the nineties were a totally different time, but in 1998, when, when in 1998 when Buffalo 66 comes out, do you think if you showed that Vincent Gallo, today's Vincent Gallo, do you think he would be horrified at like, oh my gosh, someday I'm going to get old and racist and weird

and sad? Or do you think he's always been this guy? I think it's aspirational. Always been this guy. I think it's aspirational. Always been this guy. Yeah, I think it's like he would see it as himself evolving like a Pokemon. Yeah. He used the Ristone to enhance his racist stats. I found an interview with him in 2001, not shortly after he made Buffalo 66.

It's on his writing section of his main website. And this was for Soma, a San Francisco magazine. And the guy asked him what they should talk about. And he went on a tirade against like the media and how like the manipulated abortion of their misunderstandings and manipulations. And the guy goes, well, how can I mess up your words in a question and answer?

And Vincent Gallo is like, you edit out the questions that I give you the answers. And then he said his own name like 50 times he's like the best interview of against the Gallo was done by Vincent Gallo the best articles of Vincent Gallo written by Vincent Gallo best acting for the blah blah blah. Like that was a direct quote what I just read. And then the interviewer finally says this is why my first question was what do you want to talk about

because I don't have an agenda here. And unprompted Vincent Gallo responds this is a quote, Let's talk about what a wonderful president George Bush has been so far. Let's talk about how ridiculous handicapped parking is. Let's talk about why the Puerto Ricans think they need to have a parade down Fifth Avenue. For that matter, why the gays do too. Why isn't there a Veterans Day parade down Fifth Avenue? The people who secure our nation get a couple of blocks in Brooklyn while the F-sler and the S- slur get Fifth Avenue. Let's talk about revenge. Like that's what Vincent Gallo said in 2001, when just said, Hey, buddy, what's up?

This is him chilling out in his old age. This is the kinder and gentler. Yeah. Okay, see, I all right, because I'm now looking, yeah, he wrote an essay for a Dutch magazine in August of 2000. Again, this is before Brown Bunny, but this is post the celebrated and it's talking about travel and all the parts of the world that he will not travel to. Yes. Like, you know, when I negotiate a contract for an acting job, if I have to fly, my whole

salary for the job is based on the pain of the flight. If I have to be in Europe, the price is double. If I have to go to South America or other primitive places, it's triple. You couldn't pay me enough to go to a place like Israel or Morocco or Korea or Albania or Spain. So his racism is kind of expansive. Yeah, read one more sentence, Jason. Jason, read one more sentence. For a million bucks, I wouldn't even go to Harlem. However, I would consider parts of Austria and

Germany. So this was not satire, was it? Like, I don't know. It's like too subtle to be, I think. He lives in New York, though. So like going to Harlem is like a short train ride. That will cost as much as inseminating a woman would. Okay, so this actually answers my question, because my whole thing coming into this podcast was because there's tons of old cranky conservative celebrities I asked this about. Because I refuse to believe that a young Rob Schneider when he was doing his bit on Saturday Night Live was just hyper-conservative. Today, he's just pro-Trump, angry about everything. I refuse to believe that he can be a 20-something comedian on SNL and just be sitting there seething about immigration or the gays grooming our

school trail. That doesn't make sense to me. Maybe I'm wrong. Maybe I'm naive. It just seems weird to work in that environment and have that mindset. Same thing with Tim Allen. Tim Allen got busted for smuggling drugs in his youth. He was not always hyper conservative, angry guy. He did turn on all of his friends, which is a pretty conservative thing to do. So I'm not saying that all conservatives are mentally ill, but there's a type of conservative that is like this, where it's just all rage and trolling and very snide, kind of every other part of the world is filled outside of, outside of the exact block where I happen to live and probably not even that.

But also I will film myself doing like onscreen blowjobs. That's not an example of like depravity or degeneracy. It's, it's, uh, but I guess he's always, I guess in his case, he's always been this way and is very consistent and I'll give him that. He's not a flip-flopper. He has stayed the course from the start. This is who I am. And I'm still, I'm going to be that until, until the day I die.

Yup. Did you keep reading in that? Essay that you had open. I thought that was the end of it. I I've closed that tab out You you don't there's you wouldn't be able to read it out loud. He he really does use the f slur Three times in the next paragraph. It's where I think is too too many even for the year 2000 So really it's it's kind of it's kind of progress that he's willing to have sex with black women for $50,000? Yeah, he's growing.

Yeah, he's growing as a person. I'm, no, I'm not proud of him. Well, I want to say- I don't want that on the soundboard. To some degree, I do feel like we owe Corey Feldman an apology. Yeah. Because I think we were very hard on him for the...

I mean, he did seem to have kind of a sex cult. And he did seem to have a lot of women there who he had. I'm not saying they were imprisoned there. You can go listen to that episode. We've been into some detail on his attempts to have a sex cult that I think is still a thing. Did I tell you my Corey Feldman conspiracy theory? He went viral once because he had like this audio malfunction and he kept trying to like restart his set with like this cool like fist pump thing and it people were making fun of him but it was going really viral. And so now he fakes like a technical problem at the start of all of his shows.

Oh no. That's my conspiracy theory. I think Corey Feldman fakes like audio issues because that'll go viral. So is he worse than Corey Feldman now, Jason? Corey Feldman is on tour with Limp Bizkit. Like Corey Feldman got, he plays arenas now. And I'm not saying that we launched him into that fame, but he became famous as goofy, post-fame, sad, attempted rock star, Corey Feldman, and somehow befriended Fred Durst, who thinks it's very funny to have him open for Lent Biscuit.

And you know what? He's right. He is not wrong at all. If I paid to see Lent Biscuit and got to watch a Corey Feldman set, I would film the whole thing. I would walk away delighted. I would not be upset at all. I am sure some fans in the audience are just very confused. You know, what's great though is there is no chance of him accidentally improving.

Like that's kind of the danger of, of someone you want to go and watch them fail. Like Corey Feldman has been doing this for 30 years and he's still this bad at it. Like, there's no chance of him in his old age somehow learning how to put a rock show together. So, yeah, you'll always be able to ironically enjoy Corey Feldman. And you know, now looking at Vincent Gellert got a lot of acting work after all that stuff he said in the year 2000. So again, very clear that if cancel culture is real, it definitely that he's got a lot of credits, he's still racked up, he's still out there doing stuff. So and again, maybe he's just so good at the acting. I can't think of I guess I have not watched a recent acting role. I can't think of any recent movie I've seen that's had Vincent Gallo in it.

And he had a sex scandal, but it was like, you don't want to say these things are like not a big deal because they were a big enough deal that like three actors filed a complaint. But his thing was that he, during the audition process for this movie he's making about the Golden State Killer, he like told these actors, says like, when we're filming, I want you to be scared that I'm gonna sexually assault you or I'm gonna murder you not the killer me Vincent Gallo, and you the person you are. And like he just like went too far in this sort of I think he's probably going for like a Stanley Kubrick type of thing. But they're like, well, that's fucking insane and gross. But

like that's that's his I think only sex scandal, which is better than I thought he would do. I'm not minimizing the experience of the people who are upset by that at all. But it was a physical relief when you described what he did and then he stopped talking. It's like, oh, that was just because there's lots of guys who could do that. There's lots of guys who think that's that's how acting works is it instead of faking an emotion, you actually have to, you know, I mean, that was Alfred Hitchcock's thing. It's like, no, I will just abuse these people and that will be their rich. Exactly. You take out the dick stuff and add some talent and like that's a fun Stanley Kubrick story.

How much do you think Alfred Hitchcock's cum costs? I bought his chocolate sheets, but I don't know. I don't think there's that much cum on them. Rehydrate him baby! That's not our exit line! Yes, knelt und mit maximalem Schall Sag Frankfurt Podcast? Korrekt? Ja! Die Kraft ist nicht traf, die ist nicht ohne Schick die in de Hunde so, für eine Stunde Komm schon, du kennst die Nummer As children, they were lost to the wilds of Florida when their parents' yachts were exploded

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Jell-o-ho. Good Satan and his Hot Witches. Greg Cunningham. Hambone. Haraka. All feral wolf children. It's a real societal problem. Harvey Penguini. Honk. Jaber Al Aydin is howling. It sounds sad. Wait, that's not sadness. It's party. It's party, wolf, everybody!

James Boyd. Jared Mountainman. Jeff Horaske. Jim Salter was raised by snakes! Watch him slither! Yeah... John Dee, John McCammon, John Minkoff, Joseph Surrows, pretty much the whole J-section all Wolf Kids, Josh S, Joshua Graves, B. was raised by ants. And now with the speed and strength of an ant, he faces a lot of difficulty in day to day life. Ken Paisley K&M Kumutas

Kyle Campbell Lane Haygood is a wolf child psychologist, here to do some potty training. Thank fucking God you're here Lane Haygood. This place, I to do some potty training. Thank fucking god you're here, Lane Hago. This place, I think it's everyone's territory. Lisa. Lucas Keen is out of control on pure distilled Hulkster scent. It's banned in 92 countries and for good reason. M. Jahi Chapelle.

Mark Mahoney. Matt Riley. Max Faroi is a sentient speedboat who kills Skeletors. Not so fun now, is it, Skeletors? Michael Dillon, Michael Lair, Mickey Loman, Mike Stiles, Moju, Mort was raised by wolves, Hot Wolves, what, she's a whilF, Mort, that's all I'm saying. Mr. Bob Gray.

N.D. Neil Bailey. Neil Schaeffer. Necu104. Ornry Weevil was raised by feral toy geniuses and only speaks the language of exploding pterodactyls. Ozzy Olin. Patrick Herbst.

Rachel. Rhiannon. Czarkowski, Sean Chase, Spotty Reception. Static Dust is an adoptive wolf parent, taking in unwanted human children and teaching them to bite and snarl. We've got Mother's Day, we've got Father's Day, where's Wolf Day cowards? Super Knot, Ted H, Thomas Kavatsos. Timmy Lahey. Toasty God was raised by wolves and still speaks fluent wolf to this day. If things go south next election, that wolf passport is gonna come in handy. Tommy G. Velo. Booster can turn into any animal, but

it hurts. So much, don't ask her. Waylon Russell, Zack and Ava, Benjamin Sironin, Boy, Hulk, Boy, Little Person Toy Genius, Boy, Sentient Speedboat, Boy, Skeletor, ah he's not getting it. Let's send him to live with the Navajo everybody.