The Dogg Zzone by 1900HOTDOG - Dogg Zzone 9000 - Episode 213, LIBERALITY FOR ALL with Brendan McGinley

Episode Date: February 5, 2025

Seanbaby & Robert Brockway welcome back special guest, Brendan McGinley to the DOGGZZONE! Rejoice comic book nerds for today after MUCH anticipation, we FINALLY discuss the LONG AWAITED comic book series extravaganza that is: LIBERALITY FOR ALL! You lucky sonsabitches thought we wouldn't, nay, COULDN'T bring LIBERALITY FOR ALL to the unwashed masses, but after much hardship, handwringing and hangovers we are proud to finally present to you and yours, absolutely NOTHING OF VALUE in it's most perfected and pristine form!

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You know the number 1-900 1-900-HOT-DAUGHT Welcome to the Dog Zone 9000, the official podcast of 1-900-Hotdog, America's last comedy website. If you like this podcast or our other podcast, Big Feets, with Jason Pargin, come support us at patreon.com slash 1-900-Hotdog. You will get literally hundreds now, hundreds of bonus episodes, plus just as like a fun bonus, an entire daily updating comedy website bringing you in-depth write-ups by the best comedians left alive right now

about media that should never have existed. You can watch the animated version of this podcast or the actual video podcast of Big Feets on our YouTube channel at 1900hotdog. Go to 1900hotdog.com and click shop for our store or you could do none of that, could do none of it and I legally Can't stop you from listening to the rest of this ad free podcast, but I'll be really mad We were really mad about it

I'm Republican Robo cop Robert Brockway and with me is the Democrat version of Ed 209 Sean, baby I'm honored to be here as the Democrat Ed 209 It's I think I'm gonna go by that as the Democrat Ed 209. I think I'm gonna go by that for the rest of my life. I think that's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me. And our guest, the man I specifically picked because of all the people on earth, he's the one who would hate this podcast the most. It's Brendan McGinley.

Hello, fellow patriots. This is Liberty agent Brendan McGinley broadcasting from an undisclosed location outside of the New York City metropolitan area. And I'm not kidding when I say I picked you because you would hate this the most. Like when I put, I was like looking, I've had this forever and I'm looking at this going like nobody's gonna, nobody's gonna do this with me. Like who's gonna do this with me? Brendan's name, Brendan would hate this the most. So I figured it had to be you. It had to be you to do this. We have pushed this podcast three times. This is our fourth attempt.

Nobody wants to talk about it. And when you invited me, what was my immediate response? Yes, this has to be me. It's exactly the type of weird you are. It's all of my love and all of my hate in one place. It was built for you. This is your hole. It's your hole, it's your shape.

However, I will say, I picked the subject for this podcast in one place. Yeah. It was built for you. This is your hole. It's your hole. It's your shape. However, I will say I picked the subject for this podcast on like January 17th, I want to say, and I was like, ah, it'll be fine. And it's not fine. It's not. It turns out this was a bad idea and I should have known, but we're going to do it anyway. But before we do, Brendan, where can people find more from you?

I'm on the blue sky if you manage to spell my name and I have a website that is also my name. And you're not gonna spell it? You're gonna make him run that gauntlet? Honestly, I just, I don't care. Like you don't have to follow me. I don't, I'm gonna go to my grave with 40 followers and be happy with it.

It's early in the Sean Hannity comic book podcast to be this nihilistic, I think. But it's correct. It feels right. No, it's the attitude you'll get to. I'm just surprised we started this early. Today we're talking about a comic book called Liberality for All. This was a three issue comic book from 2006 written by a guy named Mike Mackey and illustrated by a guy named Donnie Lin.

Eight issues of this were planned, but like all the best comics, it was cancelled after three. It was published by a place called ACC Studio, which was just Mike Mackie. It was his vanity studio. So just like my favorite comic book maniac, Craig Stormon, he was his own worst enemy. We got three issues into this and he's like, fuck this guy. You're cancelled. This is where I also copped to having done three issues of a Vanity Press comic and then completely vanishing, so I can't judge. I was gonna ask if your comic book was about Sean Hannity starting a robo underground radio resistance.

No, but I'll tell you real quick, my comic did have something called Planet of the Liberals, which was a Planet of the Apes spoof that had this premise where the Liberals, George Bush woke up in a world according to the liberal vision and proceeded to Heston his way through. And the other thing I've been like, I'm not gonna do it now, cause it's gonna sound dumb now that I've read this comic was like a cyberpunk Akira punk rock version of this.

But it was like, you know, like a give me liberty kind of like just punks versus Trump. And that's what this comic is. And I cannot follow in this path. Yeah, well, it's it's the opposite of it's Trump versus punks is what this is. I just I feel like it's the same. I don't want to be the evil twin to the thing that is already evil. So yeah, it's good somebody had this idea for you so that you don't have to have it anymore. Yeah. These aren't jokes. I'll read the synopsis of what this comic book is about. jokes, I'll read the synopsis of what this comic book is about.

It is 2021. Tomorrow is the 20th anniversary of 9-11. America is under oppression by ultra-liberal extremists who have surrendered governing authority to the United Nations. Hate speech legislation called the Coulter laws have forced vocal conservatives underground. A group of biomechanically enhanced conservatives led by Sean Hannity. Can I pause you there? I'd love that even in their wildest fantasies like their post-apocalyptic sci-fi fantasies Like there's still just a bunch of people doing hate speech like they're like They like can't even disguise it there They're like, oh they make a bunch of rules about hate speech and all of a sudden the good guys have to stop doing hate speech You did interrupt my favorite sentence maybe on earth a group of biomechanically enhanced conservatives led by Sean Hannity

G-Gordon Liddy Oliver North and a young man born on September 11th, 2001 Set out to thwart ambassador Osama bin Laden's plans to nuke New York City. Yeah, I fucked up by interrupting that. It's beautiful. It's glorious. The Avatar of 9-11 is the reader insert character that we're adding to the super team. And possibly also the reincarnation of Ronald Reagan. Yes. Yeah, that was really heavily implied. Real soon. Real soon. So starting with, we're just gonna, well, I hope we get through all three, but starting with issue number one of Liberality for All.

I want to say up top, if you have this comic book, if you're looking at it, there are variant covers for this. And the first one, you're looking at them in the in the file. The first one for issue one, the cover is by Larry Elmore, who is actually quite accomplished artist, an actual you have to pay this guy kind of artist. And the second is by the actual illustrator of the comic, Donnie Lin. And you could see a vast gulf of quality between those two. Like you look at you look at that first cover, you're like, oh, this is a you made a real comic book. And then the second cover is like, no, you didn't. No, you didn't. I know what this is.

This is this is three issues from a vanity press. Yeah. So the comic opens in October 2000, a man doing what looks like 140 miles an hour down on Manhattan Street is listening to, to I guess it's still this reality's Rush Limbaugh show featuring Sean Hannity's first appearance. I do want to comment on that. I think it's weird to start a comic book with Rush Limbaugh show as like the first line, but I think it also puts it in a place in time because we just forgot about him the second he died. Like he is not an influence. He's not like a thinker who resonates with us. He was just like the dumb fuck bigot at the time. And as soon as he died, like 50 people tried to fill

that slot and he was never mentioned again. And so I think that's like kind of one of my favorite things about when he died is that he was just forgotten even by the people who like listened to him every single day. It's just done. Yeah, he did vanish. You're right. I haven't heard anybody mention him. But in this comic book, he is one of the triggers for the entire universe changing. Because the guy speeding down Manhattan at an unrealistic speed

swerves to miss one of Manhattan's famous feral dogs. swerves to miss one of Manhattan's famous feral dogs. Uh... And he crashes and dies, presumably dies, and that's what kicks this whole thing off. But you won't know that unless you look really closely and realize that car has a Nader 2000 bumper sticker. Oh shit, you're right. That's right. It was Ralph Nader Manhattan Speed Demon.

He died saving a feral dog and thereby doomed humanity. Is what that. Oh, is that actually supposed to be Nader himself? That's supposed to be Ralph Nader and you were supposed to pick up on that because he was going to vote for Ralph Nader. I thought he was a swing voter that was like the one guy in, okay.

If the election hinge on one vote, sure. That's how many votes Ralph Nader got, right? He got the one vote. I don't expect reason from this book. Why was he listening to Rush Limbaugh? Like if you're going to say, hey, this character is Ralph Nader, don't have him listening to Rush Limbaugh. I feel like it's that simple. That's a good starting point at least. Okay, so I did have to cheat. I confirmed this in research, but that's what they were trying to say. And they're so bad at storytelling that they're visual, the only visual indicator you have for

what happened is that you were supposed to assume by the presence of the Ralph Nader bumper sticker that this was Ralph Nader because who else is going to vote for him? Amazing. And honestly, big missed opportunity for, I'm going to give satire notes on this, could have had him not wearing a seatbelt and gone right through the windshield. Oh, see? There's so, you could do so much. Here's what I would have had it, he would have had a methane powered car,

like some sort of a stupid liberal car. And that's why it like went up in flames. Like, how fucking hard is this? Conservative writers of 2006. I also famously, he hates feral dog, so he would not have swerved. That's true. Yes, famously.

Killing a dog is a very Republican move. so that was sort of a signal to us that this was a... Yeah, you're right. That's probably what they were getting at. In 2006, it was totally the opposite. The RFK Jr. would have just eaten it. He would have smashed it, eaten it right out of his grill. The engine cooks it.

Probably had his confirmation hearing. So the narrator comes in and he's musing this whole time, like what horrific event led to this terrible future we now live in. And he says, when 9-11 were numbers we used to use when there was a crisis, but now they're numbers we wish we could forget. Famously, the numbers that we're supposed to forget, 9-11. Uh... It's... God damn it. It's like, the number of ways this comic fails

is just so limitless. And, that's just a quick example. I have a quick question. You did some research. Did Sean Hannity like have anything to do with this? Or is this just like a Fox News viewer who made a comic book? Well, I'll tell you what, we're we've got three comic books to get through and we're going pretty slow.

So let's I'll save all the research for the bonus episode. Here's a little teaser. Sean Hannity had nothing to do with like the creation of this, but he did get in on it. And we'll get to that. Amazing. Yeah, Yeah. So, it's revealed that our narrator this whole time was a man named Reagan McGee. Reagan McGee, and he was born on September 11th, 2001.

The avatar of 9-11 is named Reagan McGee. 17,045 Reagan McGees were born on that day. God. That's where that ultra popular name Reagan McGee came from. So we could actually get a Reagan McGee Bloodsport. Yeah. Oh, hell yes. Well, one fifth of one, I guess.

I think those numbers are pretty low. McGee versus McGee. There's only one can be the avatar of 9-11. Only got to make that one nameplate. That saved Bloodsport set designers so much time. So we jump ahead to 2002 where a very handsome Sean Hannity, the kind of handsome Sean Hannity that has never existed in any timeline, complains about the Al Gore regime being too soft on terrorists. So like that's, NATO is what flipped the election. Al Gore won. This is the evil future that the Al Gore regime would have brought, would have brought if they had won. You're skipping past a lot of sarcasm, like,

like a lot of the writing is sarcastic. Some of it's in Rush Limbaugh's voice, but it's still kind of got that, uh, oh, we're so evil, ha ha ha, look at us how racist. It's like the same thing that you see today where it's plainly bad, it's plainly cruel and racist, but it's like, you know, just a touch of irony, just so you're like, oh, but we're kidding, right? Yeah, it's- That tone is all over this.

Because it was a different temperature that I kind of forgot about, and I was rereading, I was like, oh, right. This was when they were sort of at the stab in the back mythos stage where they were just, you know, they were, it was like pre-tea party, pre-Q, pre-MAGA. They were just very much like, hey, are we actually racist or are we just trying to get a rise out of you libs with how racist this is how you think of us? Right.

Yeah. And then they decided, no, we'll just, we are. And we'll embrace that. I also want to say that this world that they've created is kind of just the ordinary world. Their darkest fear is never a fiery apocalypse. It's just like Chelsea Clinton running as a moderate. And so when there's no robots roaming the street

and killing people, it's like, here's what we've got to fight against. Hate speech laws and policies that favor non-whites. It's not exactly like a war torn wasteland. No, it's the exact same world except in just five years they've managed to develop nanotech and keep the levels down. So much, much better. Well, it's better for some people because in this world, it's revealed that Osama bin Laden is only negotiating for peace so that they can buy time to kill America's bravest

conservatives like Sean Hannity. That's really the, I'm not bugging with you, that's the plot. Is there like, we have to kill time on this whole global peace treaty so that we can get Sean Hannity. That guy's the one making the big difference. I feel like Alex Jones writes this comic book 17 times a day. Like, just like as he babbles, like he writes this exact plot. It was ahead of the curve a little bit for him. So we jump ahead again to 19 years later in 2021, where Osama bin Laden has a nuclear

bomb. And in America, there's a mysterious, mustachioed enigma that very gruffly whispers, he just arrived at the UN, we're good to go. We're like, oh, who is this? Who is this Superman here? Oh, I wonder who that's gonna be. Now brace up, you don't know it yet, but just remember how cool this guy is.

And just bookmark, bookmark in your head how fucking cool he's about to be. So by he, by he's here, he means Osama bin Laden because the US has now turned over rule to the United Nations and Osama bin Laden is the ambassador of Afghanistan and hailed as a hero. And let me get to his speech. I do want to read his speech. It's on page 12. I would like to take a moment to personally thank the UN Secretary General Jacques Chirac for his part in the peace negotiations. Also, I would like to take a moment to personally thank the UN Secretary General Jacques Chirac for his part in the peace negotiations. Also, I would like to thank Vice President Moore and President Clinton, or as I have come to know them, Michael and Madam Chelsea.

If it were not for American leaders like them, I would not be here today. On behalf of the Islamic fundamentalist state, I plan to publicly apologize for the... misunderstanding of September 11th, 2001. This apology will be at the upcoming 20th anniversary remembrance at the Unity Tower. So, uh, see if you can figure out where to apply sarcastic quote marks throughout that whole... That's just, that really distills the tone of this whole thing for me. It's like, yeah, yeah, who's the worst person to be there?

I know it's Michael Moore. He's vice president. Oh, and fucking who's the worst? Chelsea Clinton. She's president. Oh. I also like that the political correctness that he's trying to mock is like,

I don't think you've like amped it up if you're like, yeah, Osama Bin Laden's a good guy. Like I think you skipped a few steps between like putting things in a nice way and hailing a mass murdering terrorist as a good guy. I don't know. I just, it's not philosophically consistent is the only problem I have with this. Otherwise, great point. Fun story. Yeah. I don't know if this book knows that straw man arguments that you invent don't get rebutted by other things that you also made up. Right. It's like it's like war, blood of millions grease the war machines, but to

have peace, they would traffic with our enemies. And it's like, well, yeah, no. Like, if you're going to make up a type of liberal and then critique that point of that liberal using a thing that you also made up, you might just be chasing your own tail. I get it. And you remember how all the liberals just loved Osama bin Laden after 9-11?

Yeah, for sure. There was a lot of pro-9-11 people. Absolutely, we all came together to argue about whether or not it was great. So outside some brave teen gangs called the Patriots and the Liberty Bells, deface a UN propaganda poster, a frighteningly, frighteningly multicultural police force made up of just all kinds of Europeans, arrest them. One of them says, stop that, you criminal, but spelled all German, and one of them, the Liberty Bell says, let go of me,

you blue pig. Uh, the radio tells us Matt Drudge is currently the FBI's number one most wanted. Amazing. Oh, it's really good. Just a little references, every, everything has a little squawking box, every panel has a little squawking box of like, here's a guy from Fox News, or here's a guy from MSNBC

who blah, blah, blah. It's just, whoever did this has been so poisoned by their TV that like, it's hard to even know what they're trying to say. And this was in 2006. Yeah. Like no Republican politicians come into this. It's strictly war on the voices.

Like a bunch of rich millionaires are the most persecuted group in America. He calls them like they have a name called, they're called the vocal conservatives and then they get a cooler name later. But yeah, this is about how hard just conservative radio talk show hosts have it notoriously put upon people. One of the European cops says,

forget them, we're on full alert. Hannity is hacking a broadcast in the area. You know. Yeah, let the criminals go. We've got to get this radio pirate. We got to get infamous hacker Sean Hannity. And he is in his high tech pirate radio pirate. We gotta get infamous hacker Sean Hannity. And he is in his high tech pirate radio van.

He's all red lit and sexily stubbled. And he starts his broadcast saying, many things have changed in the past two decades, but one thing that's the same is, I am still here speaking for those who can't. And that's the panel we see. He has an eye patch and a bionic arm. Sean Hannity is cable.

It goes for like two pages and all he says is how great he is. Like he hacked into the fucking radio station, he's like, oh, Sean Hannity's here, coming at you straight with the good news. You're like, okay, why did you do it though? Because I'm the best and I'll tell you the straight shooter shit. You know, okay. There's nothing of substance. He's got to wank himself off with his bionic commando arm.

Yes. It's also, I think, points to how poisoned this guy's brain is. And he's like, man, if you had superpowers and didn't give a fuck, you know what you'd do? You would do like Fox News from a van. This was my honest reaction was like, if he masturbates with that arm,

is it still masturbation or is this like the sort of sex act that normally gets banned by Republican lawmakers? Yeah, I guess you got a ship of Theseus thing here, but like a wank ship of Theseus. A wank of Theseus, that's what they call it. A wank of Theseus, of course. Classic philosophical problem. Tells us that the the Coulter laws

prohibit all Republican speech and Lib is now a protected slur. Just- This was, Lib is a protected slur. This is Ann Coulter, right? Like who else would it be? Yeah. They never explain it.

So in this fiction, Ann Coulter said something so, so awful that they like made laws against saying awful things. Is that like what I'm led to believe? I something so awful that they made laws against saying awful things. Is that what I'm led to believe? I guess. Like that. Yeah. Or specifically to silence her.

There's also enough reality that even in their private lair, all the surviving Liberty fighters are talking about how she's a little much for even them. How she's a little too... She probably did say something. I think she said we should invade all the other countries and kill their leaders and force them to convert to Christianity. So that's probably the trigger in this timeline. Yeah. So it's nice to see that some things don't change even if in like an evil alternate Al Gore reality they still don't like women. It's nice to see that. But just consistency is right there. So Hannity explains that Iraq, Iran, and the

unified republic of Korea all have nukes now. Plus they took God out of the pledge of allegiance and off of our money. That's like same sentence. Yeah, equally terrible. And that's punctuated with art of a heartbroken soldier staring at a giant penny that reads, in peace we trust, and weeping over a shredded American floor. The penny is what broke him, though. The giant penny. In peace we trust America. Reagan McGee makes his first actual appearance. He's been our narrator this whole time He calls into the Hannity show asking how he can be part of the elite group known as foil freedom of

Information League the superhero team made up of vocal underground conservatives Am I crazy or is Sean Hannity trying to fuck this guy? Because this guy calls it in Hannity He's like, oh your voice is nice. Do you do radio, handsome voiced man? Well, actually, yes sir, I have. Yeah, and you got the body for it too, huh? You gotta use that body to take down the Al Gore regime for me. My producer and I would like to invite you

back over to the studio. Technically, my arm isn't human. It's not sex if it does stuff to you. Right? Jamie, let's cut 40 minutes of that. Hannity says he's already doing his part just by being a member of a Liberty group like the Patriots gang, so he's one of these roving gangs of Republican youths. The cops raid Hannity's van, but it turns out it's being remote controlled by Hannity, who is still in the van.

Always a step ahead. It buys him, in the comic book, it buys him one panel. It buys him like the equivalent of four seconds where they raid the van and they're like, this is being remote controlled. And then they look to the back and you're thinking like, oh, it's going to be a trap. And they bust open the door and Hannity's right there. They're just like, he's it's gonna be a trap, and they bust open the door and hand it, he's right there. They're just like, what? He's in a different room of this van! It never did anything!

Did you think it was really quaint? It is. So, John radios to make sure his homies, Oscar and G-Man, are ready. Wait till you find out who they are. And then he greets the cops with a cheery, G-Man already, wait till you find out who they are. And then he greets the cops with a cheery, Hi! And then does electric karate from his bionic arm. Fucking great catchphrase. Great power. Is it a parting catchphrase? Does anybody write that one down? It's crunch time.

Bye! Oh, you're right. Bye. Oh my god. He says hi, does the electric thing, and then says bye. There is no dialogue between them. Nope. That's... I guess that's supposed to be... supposed to be cute. And then he does say, it's crunch time, which he calls back to. So I guess that's his real catchphrase. It's crunch time. I don't remember... Is that something Sean Hannity himself said? I doubt it. It seems vague. It seems light. I think he his his catchphrase is it's jerkin' time and then he pulls out his bionic

glove. So we got to a rad motorcycle tearing down the street just as cyber Hannity rips open the roof of his pirate radio van. But the bike takes like a bitchin' jump just as cyber Hannity charges his EMP pulse to disable all the cops' pussy-ass electric guns. And then the motorcycle screeches to a halt atop the van, revealing the writer, the enigmatic character we saw earlier, the coolest guy in the fucking world, G-man, G. Gordon Liddy. I'd forgotten who this was. I had to look him up. Thank you so much. Oh, I know who he was because he went to my college. And every year when they would ask me for a donation, I would send them like 20 bucks, whatever, and be like, please put this towards the G Gordon Liddy Memorial broom closet. And then one year,

the president of the university wrote back to me and said, unfortunately, we can't honor your request because Mr. Liddy gave more than you did. Capitalism. We do it. We do it, man. So- That's fucked up. That's the less $20 you get from me, college. It was. In fact- You could have just let it go. You could have just not engaged with that joke and made $20. You got to him. The coolest guy in the world, this is this comic book's Wolverine. Like, he's basically, he's not the main character, but he steals the show. It's G. Gordon Liddy on his vintage Harley.

He's seemingly unkillable. He knows all the karate. He screeches to a halt on top of a Hannity's van and he lectures the cops about calling it a gun. He takes one of the guns and he's like, you can't even, you don't even have the basic respect to call it a weapon or a rifle. This is some country nerd shit. Like... Liddy takes... He takes over this scene. It is... You are completely right. How he... How fundamentally he is Wolverine,

which makes Sean Hannity the Cyclops in his own title. Yes. Yes, that's exactly the dynamic, which is... Which is very funny. Uh, G. Gordon Liddy, fuck maniac out here, just... Just writing around on his hog, stealing guns from cops. It's such a little boy's idea of cool daddy. Like he's just no he likes guns and vintage Harleys and

vintage Harleys. I'll tell you how right Brendan's dynamic is. When it comes time to escape cyber Hannity hops on the back of G Gordon Liddy's bike. It had to hurt had to hurt reading in the Wank comic about how rad you are, and then seeing you jump on the back seat there. G. Gordon Liddy's jacket says, if you're reading this, the old lady fell off. So Cyber Hannity triggers the EMP to disable the electric rifles and then they just tear ass down the street pursued by one of the UN Nazi cops who's using a Luger but G. Gordon Liddy has been counting the

shots and he knows there's only one left. That's how cool G. Gordon Liddy is. Just, I just really want to hit that hard. This book assaults a lot of cops for a law and order, pro-law and order publication. Yeah, but these are European cops. Yeah, they're UN cops. Practically women. Luckily, Hannity has one last supercharge in his electric arm. It doesn't disable G. Gordon Liddy's superbike specifically because we say, this is a 19 Harley and there's no stupid computer controlled

Electronic crap on her genius It's coal powered. I know I know a few biker guys that think like that But a lot of them are just mad that you you yelled at them for having the giant speakers on their Harley's cuz like they They love to do that. Like you did not really ingratiate yourself with anybody Maybe you should get a cybernetic arm and shut down those electronic speakers. That's how you combat that. They do drop a laptop computer, which is, even in this far-flung year, is

the exact size and shape of a 1990s laptop. I just like that there's no imagination for a lot of this. Some of it's like, we're going to have nanotechnology in five years, and we're going to, there's going gonna be electric rifles And then computers exactly the same not even gonna think about that one It's kind of got that that Tom Ryman thing about all the sci-fi movies They made before the matrix in the late 90s where they all kind of they literally day after tomorrowed it

But they still wanted to have like the 22nd century technology Yeah, it's like having like how everybody reads a newspaper in the far-flung future and you're like, nope, that was the first thing to go. Got that one wrong. So they drop it or maybe it's a ploy to manipulate the sheepish Nazi police of the UN. Either way, they escape, Cyber Hannity and G. Gordon-Lytte escape to their ship, which is a fully bionic fish called the manatee. This was, I think, a step too far. Where I was like, I get it, and then here comes the fucking Nautilus.

I'm like, wait a second, whoa. I don't know how you get into this and not realize you're the supervillain. Yeah. This is the most evil looking subterranean craft, or sub-aquatic craft. But, and yet it's called the manatee notoriously the very Slow thing that floats there and gets chuffed up by boat propellers. Yeah, despite Plainly being a big mouth bass So then they reveal the real purpose of their mission which was to x-ray scan the UN where they discovered bin Laden's

Diplomatic briefcase is just a suitcase nuke set to detonate on 9-eleven case is just a suitcase nuke set to detonate on 9-11. Bum bum bum. That's the end of issue one. Yeah, it just ends with them like assembling the team, the crack team of like Hacker Nerd, G Gordon Liddy, a dog. The dog's name is Marty. Is that a reference to something? I was like, this must be something. Probably a German general. Just if it is, it's another like forgotten to time right-wing personality that just vanished from my memory. It's like everything here is a reference that you're supposed to get to the culture of Republican radio hosts in 2006. But yeah, a lot of it just did not stick around. I say it's the end, it's not the end. There is a letters section which is mostly Mike Mackey, the author and owner of the press, ranting about how his grift

isn't working as well as he hoped. And then a bunch of hate mail to him before issue. He had to get that before issue one. Not sure how that happened. It's unrelated to this comic. A lot of people hate me. Here's one for my HOA. Here's one for my ex-wife. And the pressure gets to it. He's kind of cool about it in the first one. He's kind of got a sense of humor about it. And then we'll see his response reflexes to these criticisms really run out of fuse.

Well, like all of these guys, it's a grift. He's only half sincere and he's really trying to just get one over on the stupider ones, and it's not working. And like all of them, he just loses his fucking mind when the grift doesn't work. And then I guess radicalizes himself for real. Let's get into issue two. It opens back in the good old days of 2006 when Sean Hannity hadn't become a bionic commando yet and was still allowed on the air. His war correspondent Oliver North says the US is getting slaughtered by elite North Korean forces. Yeah. Who are acutely calling the mass murder of South Koreans the soul harvest. Okay, so he, the problem here is that they want ammo, but the UN says no, and they've like they've given all their power to the UN because I guess like America willingly

surrendered all of their power to the world government. And then the world government when there is a conflict, they're like, no, no, no, we don't care about that. That's the premise. Yes, that's the evil regime. Okay. Maybe we'd still have weapons if Olly North hadn't sold them to our enemies. Yeah, that's true. This might be on you, Olly. So G. Gordon Liddy appears on the show and basically immediately just to plug his book and then Hannity does it too. So even in this fiction, even after the Algor regime has

taken over the earth, they're still just grifters trying to plug their books. Amazing. I thought that was I thought that was an amazing admission of like, yeah, of course they would have to plug their books. It really is just like one third of an imagination. Like this is a world created by someone with just a third of an imagination. Just little touches where it's like, oh, he has enough voice that he could almost have actually, I would have loved to have listened.

This is why I'm so upset. I would have loved to have like been like, I disagree with everything, but I can respect the satire of it. And it's just, it just kind of nods its chin at it. And then it just keeps on going back to trigger in damn lives. So the McGee family is watching this whole broadcast and Reagan's firefighter father, of course, reveals that he's being deployed to the new Korean War. And at school, young Reagan McGee accidentally says God

during the Pledge of Allegiance, like out of habit. And he is forced to stare at the flag as punishment, which I- This never happened to you? Yeah, no, that never happened to me. He does see that the flag is respectfully attended to by young hooligans who deface the UN flag only, and that's how he gets radicalized, seeing these young... They're really young, too. They're like nine-year-old gang members. Carefully holding the flag.

He pledges to be a patriot when he grows up, but like only we the reader know he's talking about being a gang member. Right. The Patriots. And not just like a patriot, because his mom's like, yeah, that's great, be a patriot. And he's like, no, I mean the gang. And in his defense, the people calling themselves patriots

did kind of grow up to become a gang that did storm the capitals. Yeah, no, that's real. Just like how when I say Merry Christmas, I actually mean white power. I mean, like, let's be serious. At the Sean Hannity book signing, Reagan and a bunch of other cool little kids

and families are there, including one weirdly specifically Muslim family. So, you know, he's not one of the bad ones. There's a Muslim here, everybody. Can't be racist if you have a Muslim fan. Hold on, let me look up tokenism. No, guys, it looks like he's still racist. I think that's a crypto thing.

The father goes, the Muslim father, he goes to get another Hannity book from his car because he has multiple Hannity books he wants signed to his child, specifically. Sign it for my baby so he can grow up reading your books. For my Muslim baby. I would like him to be ostracized from all walks of life, please. What a complicated way to say fuck you to a baby, get a bunch of Sean Hannity books signed for it.

When you're old enough to understand, then you'll start resenting me. The wife explains that the father is a biomechanical engineer researching nanotechnology and cellular bionics. So like, that's all. Some pretty advanced like Ovelty Gook. And Hannity says, oh, so he's like Oscar Goldman from The Bionic Man. And she's like, what the fuck are you talking about? And that's like, that's supposed to be a compliment because we flash forward and reveal that their tech genius that we already met, Oscar, is this Muslim man many years later. So Oscar, their tech genius is like the only good Muslim and they've renamed him after,

I guess a Jewish man from an American TV show? They just took his name. They're like, that's too hard to say. You're Oscar. If you're one of the good ones, you get baptized with a whiter name in the blood of your wife and child. You have to leave your whole world behind, your whole identity. And he does because a Muslim suicide bomber bombs the Sean Hannity book signing. Hannity, of course, throws himself atop the Muslim mother and baby as the explosion happens, just like he would in real life. We all know it. To no good, right? Like it doesn't help.

No, they still die. They just die with Sean Hannity on them. He's so handsomely, generically anime. You would never know this is Sean Hannity. It cracks me up. I ran into the same problem trying to write jokes for this because there's nothing there to Sean Hannity. Even this book about how awesome he is can't find anything to define him or stick to him. He's like a crudely carved totem of smugness. That's all he is. Yeah, he's a haircut in one of a personality I'm I want to know what the fuck G Gordon Liddy did to become the Wolverine of this comic book because he

very much is like we cut to his scene G Gordon Liddy is exiting a taxi and two Muslims attack him with scimitars and he says didn't you ever hear the joke about the Islamic fascists that brought a sword to a gunfight? Here's the punchline and then he shoots them like point blank and then And then he says you too. Just cost me four bullets at 25 cents each. I want my dollar back so So far from something cool like it's it's on the other side of the ocean from cool He wants he killed two men and wants a dollar. I

Want my dollar back fucking was that a G Gordon Liddy catchphrase at the time? Like what it's so out of place that it is I'm like, is that a reference but I can't find what it's a reference to Is it a misquote from RoboCop? It's like what it's not cool. Yeah, but it's clear the comic thinks it's super cool. G. Gordon Liddy takes one of the young men captive and brings him into their own warehouse where they were waiting for a delivery from a butcher, I guess, or maybe he calls in the delivery from his special Midnight Butcher. G. Gordon Liddy breaks into the shipments he finds there and he finds a mint condition He, G. Gordon Liddy breaks into the shipments he finds there and he finds a mint condition 1930 Harley sealed new in crate for 75 years and he says only to be shipped to Saudi Arabia. Trying to kill me? That I might forgive.

But condemning a Harley Davidson to a life in a desert? I don't think I can tolerate that. The desert also is famously the best place for vintage vehicles. That I didn't know. I just know they've only done like, what, three character beats with this character. Two of them were Harley and one of them is he wants a dollar back from a corpse. He wants to be reimbursed for the bullets he used to kill a man. He is sort of like a Charles Bronson character that never stopped. He just kept going forward. Yeah, he continues beating this already wounded terrorist for the audacity of being near a Harley that was going to be shipped somewhere he didn't like.

And he says, do you know what sand does to an antique engine? Sand sticks to oil like pig's blood sticks to skin. And then the butcher bag he got, he pulls the skinned pig out of the bag and he threatens to duct tape it to the terrorist so that he won't get into heaven when he kills him. I know a lot of people just gasp right now. Yeah, the terrorist treats this like it's real, like he's a fucking, like Muslims are vampires and this is their weakness. Like, he's like, no, no, you can't do that.

Allah won't let me into heaven. As if it's just scientific fact that if he shows up to Allah with a fucking pig taped to him, Allah's like, no, dude. If you're a victim of a bad enough hate crime, even God will be like, whoa, no, just go, man. Unbelievable. This is my argument for when I die caught in whatever compromising position I'm in, I'm just going to be like, hey, God, you didn't have to take me at that moment. This is like some loophole bureaucracy.

Yeah, you didn't have to take me after G. Gordon-Liddy duct taped a pig to me. After who did a what? Oh, I didn't know about any of that. You could have taken me before that 10 year crime spree. I don't know. I was not paying attention when you died. I am sorry. I can explain.

I was just mailing a Harley to the desert and this guy took that and God's like, did you just fucking say you were gonna take that sweet vintage hog to the sand? Which is honestly the real sin, apparently, of taking it somewhere where it will never be exposed to humidity or salt. Yeah. The sand doesn't get in the engine. If it does, you got problems. I would just say for the record, I think this is a hate crime. I think drawing a comic book about a guy

sticking a pigskin to a Muslim and having him scream, no, no, Allah will not let me in heaven. I think that qualifies as a hate crime. Uh-huh. And then- But Sean, it's okay, don't worry because Broccoli's going to reveal how it becomes a hate crime against humanity. Yes, but before that, I would like to break just a little of the research seal and say that

in an interview I found with Mike Mackey, he said like, yeah, yeah, I mean, the guys, G. Gordon-Liddy and Sean Hannity and Oliver North, they've all seen it. And like the interviewer was like, aren't you worried about being sued for like using a real person's likeness to do some of these things? And he says, no, why would they sue me? Like they're doing awesome stuff. They're doing really awesome stuff. Why would they be happy? And then one of those awesome things is duct taping a pig to a terrorist corpse

so that he will not get into heaven. And you were like, no, no, he won't sue me. He will love that. And he was right? I guess he was right. He didn't get sued. And to be clear, he doesn't have any duct tape, and that's like the big reveal. He's like, yeah, here's my secret. I don't have any duct tape.

And he pulls out like a fucking gigantic cyber nail gun. Yeah, so he's going to nail gun. And he does. It's implied, yes. This was not an empty threat. G Gordon Liddy did nail gun a pig's corpse to a Muslim man. Which is actually a problem for a law, because if you're nail gunned to death, you do automatically

get into heaven. It's a corollary. Yeah. He loves nails, hates pigs. Famous. Got to go to the Allah Supreme Court. What breaks him, what finally breaks him to get out the nail gun is that it's revealed that the elite assassin force sent by Osama bin Laden to kill conservative talk show radio hosts, worked. Rush Limbaugh, Bill

O'Reilly, and Laura Ingraham all died to this team. I guess they didn't have cyber arms or cool motorcycles. That's the problem. I think this is funny because even in this universe, Rush Limbaugh's just fucking unceremoniously killed and forgotten off frame. must just fucking unceremoniously killed and forgotten off frame. I'm gonna give it up. I gotta chuckle out of that line about his death first, just kind of playing off of his own statements. Yeah. Crucifully shot in the brain. Back in the present day, we see Oscar, the Muslim man whose wife and child were killed at a Sean Hannity book signing, still looking upon that book Hannity signed for his child, which I guess is his only memento of his family.

I think the good line here would have been if he said, I knew I shouldn't have brought my Muslim family to the Sean Hannity book signing. That's the fucking line. Fucking free joke for you, 2006 bigot. I wish Sean Hannity hadn't signed my only memento of my family. Perhaps it does take away from it a bit. So Oscar has designed a new nanotech arm for Hannity, but warns him that the rest of him isn't bulletproof because he's no G. Gordon Liddy.

So it implies very early on G. Gordon Liddy also bulletproof. Also bulletproof. I want to point out there's a really funny moment here for me where he gives him the new arm. This is really standard for any kind of like James Bond or sci-fi trope where you're like, okay, here's what your thing can do. You got laser sights, you got fucking razor blades,

you can shoot blah, blah, blah, nothing. It is exactly like his old arm, except just like a little tougher. And it takes like two pages to explain this. And I thought this was hilarious. How bad he is at understanding just the most fucking dead ass simple tropes. He doesn't explain what BTA ever stands for. I guess not.

They keep calling this, it's like bionic transformer arm. I don't know. Bionic terror arm for terrorists. That's a good point. What the fuck could it mean? Bad touch accessory, you know? There you go. That's the one.

I just love that in the same sentence, Sean Hannity gets a new power up. He's like, and remember G-Gorn Litty's still cooler. Still way cooler, he's bulletproof. He's a fucking fencer. He's got a cool motorcycle. Just remember that like I know you're kind of the main character. He has a coin purse. He gets you exact change every time. And a fencing foil.

Yeah, got a fencing foil. I don't think he uses I built a cybernetic arm but you're still no G Gordon Liddy. Yeah, don't sweat it. Don't worry about that. So it's revealed that the villainous traitor Alan Colmes has become the king of all Lib media and he has breaking news. President Chelsea Clinton and Vice President Michael Moore are meeting with Ambassador Bin Laden in the Oval Office where they are currently letting him sit in the President's

chair. This is the future liberals want it. They're like, let's let Osama bin Laden sit in the Oval Office. Had to just be racking his brain for what's the worst possible thing they could do and they would let him sit in the chair. That's such a liberal thing to do, sitting in the chair. Michael Lord gave him permission and he and he sees this and he turns to Oliver North and say be glad you're blind Jesus Christ I don't know that you should ever say that to a blind guy, even if it's something terrible Cuz like he doesn't he's not happy that he's all over North- It's kind of like the N-word for the sighted.

Oliver North throughout this whole comic is constantly being like, God, I wish I had my vision back. And at one point, Sean Hannity turns to him and goes, you should be happy you're blind. I'm really not though. I'm really like, I've made that very clear. Just get Will Ferrell to play him and have him just wandering around. Can I have some nanites, please? Can I have some of those wonderful nanites?

I'm sorry about our red Contra. He brings them over to the new strategic defense initiative, which is like a mobile battle van. That's the reveal to end this issue on. I thought I had a bad issue. I thought, oh, I must be missing some pages, but it just ended with him like, hey, look, there's There's maybe our van or something. Yep. Holy shit. That was the end. Abrupt cut to the letter section

Which is as Brendan said more the same mostly he mostly only gets hate mail and has no clever response to it He publishes it and is just like fuck you And then like we're supposed to respect that. One thing I did take away is he thinks it takes two hours to read a comic book. That doesn't seem accurate, but. Yeah, one of these, he's like, well, reading this comic book, I guess you wasted two hours.

And in another letter, somebody mentions that he lives in a a that Mike Mackey lives in a Bizarro world to which he replies Libarro world what a great idea But I will get well got him. Oh Damn you can see this got his gears turning will get to libara world later. I Think guys I I just now realized just, that I think we might be making... We might not... We probably shouldn't make fun of this guy. It's what I'm trying to say. This guy might have some problems that aren't like, okay to make fun of. No, he just... This is all like every single right-wing media personality and aspiring one out there on YouTube, on TikTok, or whatever.

Like, they're all based on the fact that, yes, I'm right-wing, but I think you're all fucking idiots, and I'm gonna fleece you for everything you're worth, and then they lose their goddamn minds when it doesn't work. He's exactly that. That's what happened here. So, issue three. Vice President Michael Moore is leading Ambassador Bin Laden on a tour of the White House from his rascal scooter. President Chelsea Clinton tells the maid to wash her son where Bin Laden touched them. Whoa, wait, the liberals are actually the real racists? Ah, who would have thought, right? Oh man. But they're such hypocrites. They don't even admit, at least the Republican would admit, like, I want you to wash my son after touching a Muslim. They gotta do it behind closed doors. It turns out the UN needs too much money from the US, but we can't raise taxes on the rich because

once the tax rate hit 90%, all of the rich people emigrated to Britain or Israel. And now we can't raise the funds we need by taxing the rich because we taxed the rich. I feel like we are jumping into like page 86 of like a forum discussion about like tax incentives. Like this seems this feels so deep into like a maniac's idea of what liberals want. But but also clearly on the side of the rich, like the author of this comic is just like, guys, we got to protect the rich I Know that he the argument is like we can't raise the funds we need Because we tax the rich and they left but you would be taxing the rich to raise those Funds so like at no point does this logic it's it's just a line

It's how how are we gonna pay for anything if we don't claw back 90% of what we let somebody take 100% of? That's just basic economics. So the evil UN has convinced the US to phase out the military and they now laugh. They literally, the UN ambassador laughs because the US doesn't have enough of a military force to bargain with the UN and he says, you will make do with what the UN allows you to have. Imagine thinking this much of the UN. Even his bad guys thinking like, God, how powerful they are. Powerful and petty.

It's just incoherent. I just, I don't understand what this man is afraid of. Like in his day to day life, he life, it's so important to him, but it doesn't make any fucking sense. I guess he's scared of the UN. I don't think anybody's... Nobody could be scared of the UN. Well, I was going to say that there's conspiracy that there's the one world government that is trying to take over. And this feels like 4% of that. Like this is clearly not that. This is just the regular UN as we know it. But they got like a little bit of military power. Now they're like, haha, we are evil with it.

But he hasn't imagined it to a place where it would be scary, I guess is what's frustrating. You're not frightened by this terrible future? Which only really seems to affect vocal conservative radio hosts. It's looking at all the problems in the world and saying, stop making me face them. Let me just stay in this idea of what it was like when I was, this entire book is flashback. And I cannot imagine being Reagan and finding out you're the one, only your Morpheus is Sean Hannity. That's exactly what this is. Or at least it would have got to that if it hadn't been cancelled by its creator after three issues.

So Reagan McGee and his mom are watching TV, which tells them that Bin Laden is set to apologize for the 9-11 misunderstanding. Again, exact words. They really thought he had something there. On the 20th anniversary at the Unity Tower, there's also a picture of Regan at his computer where Mike Mackey or perhaps Donnie Lynn has misspelled the word Patriot on his back. That was a good touch. Well, they defunded the education, so you can spell Patriot whatever you're feeling, whatever feels right. Maybe you're not allowed to spell it the right way.

Yeah, exactly. I think Mike kind of has a real career. This is like the third memorial we've seen him design and they're all pretty great. He keeps trying to satirize it, but it's like a tree growing in a site of a it that says, like, we hope this fruit feeds the victims of 9.11. And you're like, all right, maybe don't use the plaque. Yeah, we hit the part where the kid's in school, and he gets really mad about learning about the UN, and he runs to the principal, he like runs past a condom machine that's just like shooting condoms out of it. I thought that's... Yeah, it's after he's argued about,

he argues with a teacher in favor of conservative values when he's like eight years old and then runs past, just gets like maximum overdrive by a condom machine. So in this nightmare future, a newspaper blows by reading Fox News bankrupt, Murdoch defies Colter laws and loses Soros to buy News Corp. And that happens right as Reagan McGee looks to this guy and screams, no, no. It's such a weird placement. It feels like he's reacting to some corporate maneuvering. I thought it was great world building.

I was like, I am in the universe now. Condom machines, Fox News bankrupt, I understand this dystopia. That nine-year-old really invested in the corporate ownership of Fox News, as all nine-year-olds are. The news does a bit about how PETA has a patriotic eagle named Freedom who's dying because his mate Glory died and now he won't eat his soy flavored pseudo rats. So PETA is going to put him to sleep. No notes, this is good. This is the future liberals want. I took this as harsh criticism. I felt this one. I was like, as a person who wants to watch eagles starve,

staring at soy pseudo rats, I was like, God, they got me. They fucking got me. And that's what liberals love notoriously. They love PETA a lot and letting eagles die. They hate eagles. They hate them. They hate them. No, you don't get it. Freedom's gonna die. Oh shit, I get it. Freedom, the beagle's name is Freedom and freedom is gonna die, but it means more than just the eagle.

Oh shit. Real Americans like me, we only eat red meat and you're starving America from what it really needs and also DDT should not be regulated. Yeah, I agree. Spread it around. Okay, generously. I think maybe the metaphor was trying to say like, freedom will die if you don't let it kill. I don't think that's a great metaphor.

I don't think that's a great thing to endorse. That's just me. It's a very, very fair way to interpret that. This book's strong thesis is that your rights are not actually your rights unless you fight and kill for them. Rather than that, your rights must be defended from people that don't recognize that they're your rights. And I hate it so much.

And I'm trying not to opine. I'm trying to tell jokes, but I hate it so much. I'm so happy to be on this podcast podcast and I'm so angry at this book. Yeah, this is for you. This is for you, buddy. Only for you. This is your hole. Thank you.

G. Gordon Liddy is at the gun range with his super hot, ethnically ambiguous teenage sniper girlfriend in her skin tight one piece with a cross between the tits. Diana. God. Why does he love G. Gordon Liddy so much and have like Sean Hannity is almost not in the comic now. G. Gordon-Lydie has taken it over. He's just banging his way through the Elgor machine.

Oh, maybe his girlfriend is Sean Hannity's wife. I wouldn't put it past him. He's fucking Sean Hannity. She kind of looks like if you're looking at the comic book and you remember back to young Sean Hannity before the bombing, she's kind of got Sean Hannity's face. So like, I think maybe he's banging Sean Hannity. Did she shoot his finger off? Is that what happened here? Yeah, yeah, she shot it before we entered the scene to test his regenerative capabilities. Yes, because that's where we realize that he's not bulletproof in like an I can dodge bullets way.

He's literally like, he can regenerate as Wolverine because he has nanotechnology. He has cellular reconstruction abilities, they say. In this scene, he reports into into Oscar and they mentioned Annie the robot who has robotic PMS So definitely Ann Coulter This is my takeaway from this there This is the scene where they're like We got to keep Ann Coulter on ice till we really need her because she is just like a murder bot with her robotic PMS Like just just hate women straight through even when they're on your side. you're like, yeah, I'll give you a little guest spot. You're the defunct robot off screen with PMS.

I'm sorry, robot PMS, so you know you can't get mad. Why did I program my robot PMS at this level of intensity? So, Chief Gordon Liddy says he doesn't want to go under for diagnostics because he had nightmares the last time. And he does this time. It's about having universal health care. So G. Gordon Liddy says he doesn't want to go under for diagnostics because he had nightmares the last time, and he does this time. It's about having universal healthcare and how he couldn't save the lives of the vocal conservatives. Those are his terrible nightmares.

Well, I mean, why save anybody if the voice of America is silenced? If it means having universal healthcare, I guess not worth it. It's not worth the cost. G. Gordon Liddy visits Hannity in the hospital at the exact moment. The only good Muslim decides he can bionic man him. Uh, right then the police bust into arrest G Gordon Liddy for discharging a gun in city limits, but it's. It's probably really about how he murdered a Muslim teenager and nail gunned pigskin to him.

Well, they're, they're trying to get him without evidence because they're like, we found some blood, but no body. So we just assume you killed a nice Muslim boy. Right. But the bigger charge. Don't they say that? Don't they say like, hey, you're under arrest for like, assaulting an innocent Muslim? No, they say we suspect that what you're under arrest for is discharging a gun in city limits.

That's the worst crime, even to the liberals back then. I think it's a pretty bad crime to nail gun pigskin to a Muslim teenager. I think that one's pretty rough. You get arrested for that one. But he was in a place where it's zoned for that. You can't shoot off a gun there. That's the point. You, you got to refer to the

Section a sub clause three of the of the Second Amendment. When did he shoot the gun? Is that the nail gun? I think when they had the scimitar he like got shot. He killed two guys that had scimitars Oh, you're right. The punchline was two bullets and he wants his dollar back. Yeah You're right. I can't believe I forgot about the classic dollars with bullets. I want my dollar back? Yeah. You're right. I can't believe I forgot about the classic catchphrase. I want my dollar back. G. Gordon Liddy would have forgot about that dollar. So back in reality, back out of the flashback, Oscar announces that thanks to a glitch, G. Gordon Liddy has now become immortal. His healing powers have gone into overdrive. He no longer ages. His magical, patriot blood can heal anything.

It can probably heal Cyber Hannity and give Oliver North his eyes back. As well as fix the PMS robot somehow? This fucking comic. And he's sitting on this technology. He could be helping people with this, but he's just giving it to the worst people in America. And also, I would love to show this comic to today's MAGA red hats and be like, have you read this offensive anti-American comic where a Muslim immigrant is the savior of America? Let them get all mad about it before they flip through it. See how far they would just go on

knee jerk. I ran away with that one. I'm just so preoccupied with it, the solution to everything now, to blindness, to losing an arm, to fixing robots is just like using the awesome body of G. Gordon Liddy as like a host for experimental nanotechnology. This is probably the most anyone's wanted to fuck G. Gordon Liddy. Right? Like, if I was G. Gordon Liddy, I gotta say, it would work. Absolutely. Like, draw me on the motorcycle again and yeah. Yeah, absolutely. This is the guy G. Gordon Liddy does try to sell. This is the persona.

He's not wrong. It's funny every time. So in Liddy's flashback, Oliver North is blindly driving him into the water. Like, he's still blind and he's driving and he drives them right into the water, but it's okay. It happens to be the closed military base that houses their secret fish sub. Oh, you forgot they have a giant fish sub called the Manatee. Just wanted to say it again. I did forget.

He meets Cyber Hannity for the first time and Oscar explains Sean's body is now a merger of Bionics, nanotechnology, and his own biosystem. His arm can even transmit radio signals at 25,000 watts. That's what he gets? Jiggo and Linney is immortal? He's a fucking nanotech Dracula on a red motorbike with fences? He's banging your daughter. And you get a pirate radio arm? Yeah, you get a jerk-off machine with a fucking transmitter on it. That fucking sucks, man. Yeah, you get a jerk-off machine with a fucking transmitter on it. That fucking sucks, man. Yeah, it sucks. I would be so pissed off if I was Sean Hannity and I was on the cover of this and sold it,

and I read how much this guy fell in love with G. Gordon Liddy. I love that he can't even be Snake Plissken in his comic about being Snake Plissken. He fails out of his own comic. Incredible. So Oscar's up there. He's wondering if G. Gordon Liddy is having nightmares. And remember, this has been a flashback so far, so in this flashback G. Gordon Liddy rolls over to a sexy dame asking him for another staff meeting. Only what? It's Hillary Clinton!

And then G. Gordon Liddy wakes up screaming, saying, I thought I didn't know what fear was! Speaking of torture, yeah, it's the constant Republican joke. It's just like, yeah, well, we don't want to poke your women anyway. Okay, well, they have other value in society. But that's a bold stance. I'll also say that it was 100%, 100, a hundred percent flashback up to that point. So there's no reason to think that didn't happen. Like that was just something that happened we weren't privy to.

That's true. You can't switch from flashback to dream and act like we're the readers who know what the fuck's happening. I gotta take it as that's revisionist history. Oliver North asks Oscar to nanomagic his eyeballs back up and he says, the best I can do is link somebody else's vision in. Sounds like the opposite of helpful. Yeah.

G-Cord and Litty's a fucking motorcycle, Dracula, Sean Hannity's like a cyborg radio electric karate man. Oliver North, best I can do is you can see out of somebody else's eyes, not your own. I hope that helps you get to the bathroom. It might if they're already in your bathroom Here's what I can do best I can do for you I can clone two tiny G Gordon Litties who live in your eye sockets and tell you where to go

I would take that forceful manly tone What so we we repeat verbatim over the over the course of an entire page? Hey remember PETA? The eagle, they'd freedom, it's dying because it won't eat soy rats. You remember that? Over a whole page, repeat every step of that, because Mike thinks that was so fucking cool what he did with that eagle being like, named Freedom, but it actually is Freedom, and dying because they won't feed it real rats. Like, yeah. Well, we for in order for us to care about it as readers, we have to see it through G. Gordon Liddy's perspective. Because if it matters to him,

then we understand it's important. And he's probably musing on the time that he is the only real person in this comic who actually conspired against democracy in the United States. So it's a very resonant moment for him to see freedom being put to death. In a sinister high-rise office, we learned that nothing will stop the apology of Bin Laden. Oh, and they also killed Matt Drudge and finally silenced the Drudge report. Just like, another off-screen death. You gotta take it personally. The cooler G. Gordon Liddy gets, the worse the off-screen deaths must feel. And also, you thought there was one good Muslim? Turns out no, Dr. Noor Ilham, who it turns out wasn't

even grateful to be renamed Oscar Goldman after the Bionic Man TV show. He betrayed the last vocal conservatives to the US government. Not even one. Not even one good one. It's got to be a double cross. I mean, otherwise, why spend years building robot versions of them? It's not going to be a double cross, is it? It's not. Oh, man. We'll never find out because three issues were all he had., were all he had in him. The only thing this story actually told was that there is no such thing as a good Muslim. At the end of it, everything's a loose thread except that.

Are you guys trying to set me up to do another comic where I finish this? Oh shit, that's not a bad idea. No, please don't. I'm gonna beg you not to. I just, that's the end. This time there's no letters section. Like, he's been defeated by his own arguments that he's publishing. It's just like abrupt end to the comic, to the series, and that reminds me of these 10

end puns from the AI pun site, punsteria.com. What has keys but can't open locks? A piano until the end of the concert. That one. That one kept going. That stopped being a joke after it was a joke. It negated it. So it can open locks by the end of the concert? Is that what you're saying? Yeah, makes sense to me. Sometimes the robot will just steal a pun it'll be a legible pun because it just crawls crawls the internet for a pun that matches

whatever criteria but then it will just tack on something afterward to be like okay well this is about the end well just put the end uh so what did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet supplies but don't ask him at the end of his shift. I liked that one until... I liked that one for a second. But don't... Because if you ask him at the end of his shift, he's tired and he won't do it. He won't do the bit.

He needs some nanites. Why couldn't the bicycle find its way home? Because it lost its bearings in the end. I'm starting to see the pattern. I think I've figured out how this robot's making these. You might be surprised. Why did the scarecrow become a successful neurosurgeon? He wanted... Come on, if you see the pattern you might be able to get it. He only had a brain, but he kept doing a joke. Because he was outstanding in his field in the end. Wait a minute, bad puns?

Yeah, I should have got that. Did you feed this AI my jokes? Bad puns? Yeah, I should have gotten that. Overwritten? Did you feed this AI my jokes? Brennan, self-deprecation, but you would be a million times better than this trying to be terrible. You could never come up with just putting till the end, at the end of things.

It would never occur. It would never occur to me till the end. Why don't we tell secrets on a farm? Because the potatoes have eyes and the corn has ears till the end. Till the end. Oh, that's ominous. Why don't oysters donate to charity? Because they are shellfish.

Until the end. Why was the computer cold? It left its windows open. Until the end. Until the end. Yeah. Why was the computer cold? It left its windows open. Until the end. Until the end. Until the end. Shit yeah. How do you make a tissue dance?

Put a little boogie in it. Until the end. Until the end. Oh my God. It's starting to get really like apocalyptic cult. Like until the end. Yeah. Until the end.

Why was the calendar so popular? Because it had dates all year long. Until the end. That just kind of makes sense. Hold on a second. That just kind of makes sense. I'm back on board. I'm convinced that I'm right. It's an apocalyptic cult because here's your last AI pun Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing and knew it was the end Our podcast is great! And with maximum cheer! Say Frankfurt Podcast? Correct! Yeah! The power is not bad, it is not without! Send it to the dog zone for an hour! Come on! You know the number!

1-9-100 1-9-100 Frankfurt 1-9-9-9 1-9-100 Frankfurt 1-9-100 1-9-100 Frankfurt Einstein, Wunder, Frankfurt! Einstein, Wunder, Frankfurt! Einstein, Wunder! Einstein, Wunder, Frankfurt! Einstein, Wunder, Frankfurt! Einstein, Wunder, Frankfurt! Einstein, Wunder, Frankfurt!

Einstein, Wunder, Frankfurt! Einstein, Wunder, Frankfurt! Einstein, Wunder, Frankfurt! Einstein, Wunder, Frankfurt! Einstein, Wunder, Frankfurt! Einstein, Wunder, Frankfurt! Einstein, Wunder, Frankfurt! Elite warriors doing single battle in immense high tech fighting decks. We call these warriors... The Supremes.

Aaron Crosston. Adrian H. Aiden Moat. Alex Nolenberg is right. There's nothing in the rulebook that says your robot cannot have a giant chainsaw cock. AlphaScience's Jabba. Unanti. Armando Nava. Bim Talzer. Brendan Garlok. Brian Salem. Burrito. Sero. Cheddar Wolf is also right. There's still nothing in the rulebook saying you can't have a giant chainsaw cock. Common Sense is right too. There remains nothing in the rule book against

giant chainsaw cocks. Craig Lemoine, I guess that's right. There's... look, it takes time to print new rule books. Let's just say no more giant chainsaw cocks from now on. Alright, Quavis was late to the meeting and missed the part about the giant chainsaw cocks, but that's the last one. Dan B. David Schull put a small chainsaw cock on his robot. Fair enough. Dean Castillo. Delta Foxtrot. Devin the Rogue Supreme. Doug Redmond comes equipped with Rocket Fist. Drayson uses Orange Laser. Dusty's Rad Title uses Green Laser. Eric Rion uses Blue Laser.

Alright, is this in protest of the giant chainsaw cock ban? Fancy Shark uses Cockliff. You're children. You're all children. Gareth. Jell-o-ho. Good Satan and his Hot Witches fights with a giant chainsaw dog. Okay, we're putting all synonyms in the rulebook now too.

Greg Cunningham Haraka Hawk Javer Al Aiden James Boyd it says, right here in the rulebook, your robot cannot have a giant chainsaw wang. Nice try. Jared Plack, no, it can't be a giant chainsaw wang. Nice try. Jared Black, no, it can't be a giant chainsaw schlong. Jared Mountainman, right here, playing English band weapons.

Giant chainsaw man sausage. Jared Ruiz, you cannot have a giant chainsaw hog. Oh, it's an actual hog. Sorry, let it play. Jeff Oraski John Dean John McCann John Minkoff Joseph Searles Josh S Joshua Graves

Justin B. Come on man, those are clearly balls. No, it doesn't matter if there's no cock, it's the spirit of the thick. Ken Paisley K&M Banned Chainsaw Cock Lane Haygood Banned Chainsaw Cock, Lisa? Frankly, I expected better of you. That's a three-day suspension for chainsaw cock. M. Jahi Chapelle, you know what? I'm going

to allow it. It's fine if the robot wears concealing underwear. Mark Mahoney? I said concealing underwear. It's hanging right out there. That's a band Matt Riley backs for all Moshe Mercenary sissed men. Yes, it's still banned even if it's uncut Michael there Mickey Loman Morton. You brought three rotating giant chainsaw cocks. Why would that be allowed? Mr. Bob Gray, no, then for obviously wouldn't be cool. What it? indeed Neil Bailey Neil Schaefer Mr. Bob Gray, no, then four obviously wouldn't be cool, would it? Indeed. Neil Bailey. Neil Schaeffer.

Neku104. Nick Lavino brought an old-fashioned mace. Yes! Henri Weibel, Nick Lavino's tag team partner, brought a bolo. This is what I'm talking about. Oh, I see what you guys are doing there. That's hilarious. Hilarious.

That's a bad one. Ozzy Olin. Patrick Herbst is allowed to bring the giant chainsaw cock because this is an exhibition match. It's non-competition play, guys. Riannon Sarkovski. Sean Chase, it's not an exhibition match because you're exhibiting something.

Siege, it's not an exhibition match because God is always watching. Spotty Reception, it's not an exhibition match because God is always watching. Spotty Reception, it's not an exhibition match just because you sold tickets ahead of time. Supernaut, an exhibition match is a formally classified thing. We'll tell you when it's not a normal match, okay? Tater's Tales just got giant chainsaw cocks banned in exhibition matches too, okay? Everyone happy?

Ted H. Thomas Kavatsos Timmy Leahy Toasty God Tommy G. Velo? I don't care if it's detachable. I know what a giant chainsaw cock looks like. Booster? Yes, even if it's on your forehead. I know you're not a unicorn that's happy to see me. Waylon Russell. Zack and Ava, that entire robot is one enormous chainsaw cock. I can't imagine being more banned.

Harvey Penguini fights with a giant chainsaw... ...legina? I guess that's allowed. I mean, I feel like it's basically your opponent's fault if they take you up on that. I can't imagine anyone would be foolish enough to- Wow, right out the gate. Stuck his face right in there, huh? Alright, Harvey Penguini wins Alaska!