The Dogg Zzone by 1900HOTDOG - Dogg Zzone 9000 - Episode 257, The Image Comic Launch Lineup with Rusty Shackles

Episode Date: December 10, 2025

In 1992, Image Comics launched with an all-star lineup full of Hot Dog touchstones like Todd McFarlane, Rob Liefeld, and Exploding Fred. We'll let 1900HOTDOG's very own Rusty Shackles tell you why this was his cursed media origin story, and we'll let Exploding Fred explain why it still matters today. Fred? Fred? Buddy? Ah, he exploded. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Robert will go to jail if you don't buy his book. I know what you're thinking... This is NOT the time to be a wise guy. BUY HIS BOOK. https://linktr.ee/killyourimaginaryfriendd

1,900, hot dog 1,900, hot dog Out podcast slams with maximum hype Say hot dog podcast word Yeah When you taste that nitrate power You're in the dog zone for an hour Come on, you know the number

1,900 1,900 Hot Dog 1190,000, Welcome to 9,000, the official podcast of 1,900 Hot Dog America's final comedy website. I'm the sexiest, most powerful, most dangerous man alive, even though I've just tragically lost my memory. Wait, it's coming back to me, I'm Robert Brockway? No, that can't be right. That doesn't sound right.

I must have been thinking about my co-host, Sean, baby. Hey, I was really hoping that I would get an intro like that, but in fact, it was my intro the whole time. No, actually, I think it was wrong. I was really thinking of our guest, a hot dog artist in residence, Rusty Shackles. Gentlemen, thank you for having you back. Honor to be here again. Curse you for taking my intro! I will destroy you with my Cybershock appendages!

Is it possible, all of us are the sexiest, most powerful and dangerous men alive? All simultaneously lost our memories? No, I'm sorry, that'd be fucking stupid if that happened. I don't bring that up for any reason. It would be so dumb. If so, it made an entire line of comic books like that. Who would do that? Before we get into that, Rusty, where can people find more from you?

I'm on Blue Sky and all the other places. I will say, though, actually. It would actually be kind of debuted today. I worked on a game called ERAs of Wrestling, a management simulator. If you've heard of it, if you've heard the podcast before, I've kind of alluded to it or touched little details here and there. But we actually got to show off some gameplay footage today. So it's called Ears of Wrestling. It will be out in February of 2006.

It's little cartoon wrestling guys hitting each other. So that's probably fun for people. But yeah, and I'm just kind of doing stuff for the hot dog guys, hardcore gaming 101. Just whatever. whatever's cool. You'll just look up rusty shackles art. You'll find me. And what's the most helpful thing people get to do? Is it wish listing that game? Is that what helps? It's so early. They just announced the release date time frame. So the company is called Checkmake Creative. If you look them up there on Instagram, Facebook, all the usual places,

you can keep track of the progress there. Or just put it on the wish list in your heart and keep it there until it comes out and you can do something. And congratulations. That looks pretty awesome. I want to plug Rusty's game. Double it up. Hell yeah. Get the air as of wrestling with Art by Rusty Shackles. Now, that would normally leave me with plugging our site.

1,900 Hot Dog. Come support us on Patreon.com slash 1,900 Hot Dog. But I'm not going to do that because I am legally obligated to promote my new book instead. It's called I Will Kill Your Imaginary Friend for $200. It comes out January 27, 2026. It's been going well. It's been getting good advance reviews. There's a, there's a, there's a deal.

There's a deal at bookshop.org. You get 15% off and, uh, and an exclusive bonus story. If you use the code Robert 15, I, I don't, I don't know why I'm the provo code. It throws me off every single time I have to say it. Uh, none of that matters. You were pushing for hostess Honeybuns 15. Pushing for a hunk runner up to. Uh, no, I don't, I don't know.

I'm sure it's automated, but it's wild. it's wild that I'm there on the first name basis with me based on a promo code it doesn't matter none of that matters you have to buy it because I fucked up I fucked up so bad and I'm going to I'm going to federal prison if I don't sell enough copies of this book and there are two things that I don't like to do alone high five and go to prison I'm taking everyone down with me both these guys dirty as shit you know what Sean's done you know she can guess at all the things Sean said he just he just did like a complete history of everyone who knows

butt sniffing. Oh yeah, you're right. That's true. I just wrote an article about butt sniffing. You wrote a comprehensive survey course about butt sniffing. I don't have to like dig up dirt on you. I just have to tell the authorities that exists. I did realize

after like the 11th instance of butt sniffing that I uncovered. I'm like, I think this article tells people more about me than of the scandal I've uncovered. Yeah, it does. Yeah, it absolutely does. And man, as for as for old Rusty here like I look

I'm just going to say it and I'm not going to show it yet but I have proof that Rusty has drawn some lewd art of characters whose IP does not belong to him I have no clue what you were possibly talking

about I was thinking if you do go to jail we could possibly arrange like a task force of cyborg mutants to break you out but that's off the table now yeah because you're coming with me he's coming with me unless you buy my book. They're all coming with me. Everybody involved with this podcast, this site. I need you to pre-order my book and save 1,900 hot dog from me. Thank you. Great plug. Okay, today we asked, we've been asking everybody. We asked Rusty to pick out the

single piece of cursed media that sort of, oh, opened his eyes to the fact that they were like real, real maniacs that actually make the stuff you consume. That's like a pivotal moment when you're a kid. When you're a kid, you're just like, this exists, and I either like it or I don't. But there's, at some point, you're like, wait a minute, real people did this. And they might be fucking crazy. Uh, and Rusty, what did you choose? So I picked the moment that Image Comics was announced. The entirety of Image Comics launch lineup is what you joke. I think it's a good pick. I tried to narrow it down, but just basically, like, there was a moment in 1992 when they they showed this picture off

of these seven guys whose mom dressed them for this photograph to announce that they are leaving their gigs at Marvel and it was kind of hard narrowing it down with all the stuff

the other guests have chosen with different forms of media and all that but I was a huge comic book kid and I never really thought about like necessarily like you know I was here's Spider-Man

that's good enough for me I don't need to think about John Ramita Jr. or Ron Friends or whatever but eventually these guys kind of started to make the comics more about following the creators and as a result I was like

oh these guys all my favorite guys are going jump and ship let's go see what this is about and from there like it kind of like broke the K-fabe of comics too because it also like they were talking about money and like what's really going on behind the scenes but also too in a weird way I think it also

kind of kicked off a terrible parisocial which is the big word now relationship with the fans and the creators that kind of still continues to this day. So in a weird way, they broke comics by making it for themselves.

It's a weird loop. But I did think about it, though. I was like, this is a bunch of guys who were associated with a brand who went off and did their own thing. And I was like, hey, that's kind of familiar to the guys in this room, I would think. Oh, no. Oh, no. We're Rob Lefeltz.

Oh, no. What have we done? Scramble and choose. I'm Mark Sylvester. Everybody wants to be Sylvester. That's no There's, you have to hurry and choose. Otherwise, you're going to be Rob Leifeld, you're at Tom McFarland. Shit, I already said, Rob Leifeld, I fucked it up so bad. Yeah, man, image was a huge. I was a, I was a nerd of a certain age when image spun off.

And I didn't really get the, like, behind the scenes part of it, just because I never, I've never really followed that very well. I'm a bad fan. But what I, what I did get, even just from the content of the books themselves, was like, oh. This is a label of nothing but bad boys. Oops, all bad boys. Yep. Every single one was just, just, you knew he was leather clad and, and riding up to the office on a Harley. He did not know how to ride.

Just like, it was so, it was so edgy and so cool. And, uh, and they each did, they each really did their own thing, often the same thing, which they should have, they should have coordinated on a little bit better for their launch titles. But, man, it was very different. It was a very different thing than Marvel Comics at that point. I was also super into comics, but this kind of just bounced off me. Like, for instance, I don't really get Spawn. He's kind of like a ghostwriter or a Silver Surfer.

And they're both cool, but also, like, what are they? Like, what can they do? It's hard for me to get my head wrapped around, like, how they can fail or overcome something. And, like, what's a clever application of a spawn power? I don't know. I guess I like watching Captain America solve a prime. problem or Spider-Man overcome impossible odds or whatever. Or Punisher, spray vengeance into a VC battalion. Love it. But, like, how does a spawn lose a fight? Like, he's just some rad tattoo who came

to life and loves to perch. You know what I mean? I just... So when I saw him, I'm like, I don't... He looks rad. Like, I could see him being on a van, but I don't want to read about him. He actually has, in the toy line, he actually has a number of vehicles. He has, like, a NASCAR thing. Oh, yeah. Making a Spawn Hot Wheels car was the easiest design gig of any Hot Wheels designer. I think we're going to talk about the actual comics later, but you're talking about his powers. I think Spawn is the first edging hero because he has all this power he can use, but you don't want him to use it. So he's basically kind of like, I could do all this shit, but you don't want to see me do it yet. Yeah, that makes sense.

Well, we'll get into it more when we get to the comic, but that was Spawn's whole thing, was that he did have potential untapped, like, limitless power. but he had like a like a countdown he could not use all of it or or his like time was up so like right so he's like certain stages of green lantern like we we get it it's not a it's the best because that comics started out like i only really read in depth the first issue again but i remembered reading spawn when it came out and i remember thinking like oh okay he's got he's got like he's like evil doctor strange you know he's like you're met this magic guy who's got all sorts of these crazy powers and then like a couple issues in he's like fuck it i'm not going to use any of my powers and it's just guns he just gets a bunch of fucking guns and you're like wait dr strange said

fuck magic and then just got a bunch of guns that's the comic he's like a hobo zombie dr strange kind of yeah it was so funny when they just drew them all cool of the guns and you were like what if i got that pitch dr strange throws away his magic for guns i'd say you are drunk a shit garthinous but it's a yes you got the green light It's a yes. But it was a huge thing because it was such as like a sucker for all this stuff

and it was like a real like us versus them mentality and like they they also like turned against other creators in the field Todd McFarlane famously had a fight with the writer Peter David

about just the nature of comics and then it continued in Eric Larson's letter pages for like 10 issues like four full pages of letters of them going back and forth so I mean it's not too it's like

If you're a wrestling fan, all of this should be very familiar to you right now, because you are being played into supporting these people who do not care about you. I would say it's less wrestling and more like YouTube drama. Like, I think they've invented YouTube drama. I can do a little of the history. I watched a documentary called, what was that called again, Russi? It was Image Revolution. Yeah, it's not too-be for anybody who's interested.

Yeah, I watched that. So the basic history lesson is just that these guys were all independently hot shit, and they were starting to be followed as creators. And Marvel was not treating them as well as they should have been treating like their biggest, their biggest players. And so they've, they basically, they sort of unionized. They all got together and thought, well, fuck, these guys were going to do our own thing. And so they, they organized and they left in mass to make image. And the image is creator-owned. So they would each own their own comic book. And that, it was great, except for none of them brought a business guy.

Like, like, they all just recruited all the other artists. Oh, my God, we are them. Brockway, we are them. He is 100% correct on that analogy. That's exactly what happened. So they got to discover a sort of business as they went and, you know, by, as a trial of errors. They made a lot of enemies. They became the bad boys of comics.

They became the biggest fucking thing in the world. I didn't, I was into image when it launched, if only because, like, oh here's a new thing like it's it's just a it's a thing that i could be there for the start of because there were everything else like even malibu had been going for a while so like you were just there was this can i get can i just hop right into this kind of idea and it was no like people i had such that money at that era an issue number one that's like going to be worth a billion dollars someday yeah everybody thought that everybody thought that was going to be here's the thing i had like all the issue ones of all this stuff and uh yeah

And I didn't, I was not an investor. Everything was out of, out of the, out of the package and red and spilled stuff on. Dude, you're sitting on like $17 if you find, well, probably not. You probably won't find a buyer for that, but you're sitting on like 25 cents to 30 cents. I will say I was in real reluctant comic shop owner saying, I'll take these off your hands, but I can't give you more than mine two bucks. I was into it, but it never once occurred to me, oh, this will be worth a lot of money someday. If only because they were so popular, they were.

printing millions and millions of these. Like, that's not how you make a super... Even I understood that as, like, a 12-year-old. That's not how you make a super valuable comic. It's rare, and then it picks up, and you're like, oh, okay, let's see where it started back in Detective Comics or whatever. When you're, like, the big... Issue one is the biggest comic book in the world.

It's not going to be worth jack shit. It's like wanting money for, like, Super Mario and Duck Hunt. Because everybody has that one. Who cares? Yeah, but he gives a shit, man. I was once in a video game store. They had like a wallpapered their wall with Mario Brothers stuck on cartridges. I'm thinking it's a real.

It just felt like really aggressive. Like that's kind of. Just in case you walked in there with one and you had to look around me like, oh, never mind, guys, never mind. Grandma's closet was not a gold mine, I guess. I'm going to hardball them anyway. They need one more. I see that empty corner up there.

So image was huge. and we're talking about a handful of temples. There was more than this, but we're talking about Savage Dragon by Eric Larson, spawned by Todd McFarlane and Youngblood by Rob Leifeld. And Rusty's right. It's a very hot dog thing. We've independently both made fun of Todd McFarland and Rob Liefeld.

They're very funny. That's true. Never Eric Larson. Yeah, that's a new one for us. I'm not going to today. I love Eric Larson. Now, from reading this, right, sounds like I'm going to go first. But yeah, dude.

Like, I rereading this was like, Hell yeah, dude. It's fucking awesome. I know, right? The funny thing with it, too, is because, like, you know, he was, like, he came in after Todd McFarlane on Spider-Man, and he was like a, you know, once Todd left, it was like, oh, no, but he gradually grew on me. And all of the image founders really were in a race to suck off Jack Kirby while he was

still alive. And, but the thing about it is, is like, Eric Larson is the only one whose art I felt, like, actually invoked Jack Kirby. Like, he has that bombastic. everything that's happening on the page is the most important thing happening in the world right now, five. So that's why I really love this comic. And it was kind of interesting to reading it

because I think I had told, I said an email out because the version that's in the current trades is not the original version because he went back and added a few pages that are very clearly, hey, I just saw the L.A. riots on the news. I don't know if you do you do me go like a loose crunt, like through the chronologically or um well we got three comics to go through it so just give us like

if there's anything you wanted to talk about in particular otherwise just give us kind of an overview basically yeah he's a he's an amnesiac wakes up in a field and you know that's because that's you know how most these stories start um and becomes a cop through very for whatever whatever reason i think that story is really good because so he wakes up and he's like i don't want to be a cop and then this other guy's like no we need a strong cop and he's like i don't even know my name. I don't think I should be a cop. And then he gets a job at a warehouse. And then some supervillains attack. It's a death adder and an evil pony sale punisher, if I'm not mistaken. And then he like, fucks him up. And then they're like, we're going to kill you. And

then his boss is like, dude, you are out of your mind. Like, now they're going to kill me. And it's sad dragon's like, no, dude, I'll protect you. And then I swear to God, the next panel, the warehouse explodes. Like, it doesn't even explain why it is like, it's shorthand, for a story by a genius who truly doesn't give a shit. Eric Larson rules. And I was like, of the three, of the ones we read, like, he

actually, like, his story beats make the most sense, like, in one issue. Like, he actually covers a lot of ground. Hell yeah. And also, like, he also shows, like, the other heroes are, like, being picked off and killed. So there's no more heroes left. You know, who will save us now? And Super Patriot is actually,

like, it's his, I think it's a character design he had in the, the, uh, his Spider-Man run. He kind of, like, repurpose to like, no, I'm taking that back, which I respect. But yeah, it's kind of weird, too, because this is a book, the humble bundle is like the one I had recently read. The guy who, one of the guys who blows up the warehouse, kind of throw us some words around, like, oh, yeah, we don't say that anymore.

It's kind of weird to see this. Yeah. It's unfortunate. If you do go back and read these kids, this was made out of time, and they just kept it at that time. They are bad guys, though. I mean, they should speak of it. Yeah, it's fair.

It's just a little awesome. And they're like, when I say they're bad guys, I mean, like, they are toy line bad guys. Like, they show the villains and it is like a cybershark man and like this alien muscle thug. They got like a pervert with spikes everywhere. And this is just a doctor doom. They just got a doctor doom. It's the, it's just a fire hose of comic book. I love it so much.

Because the depiction of it, Savage Dragon is just like he looks like a, he looks like a, he looks like an iguana. You know, he's got these green skin. He's got a big fin on his head. But he's just a really buff guy in like a summer cop uniform, like a beach cop. Yeah, like a bike cop. Yeah, he's got like a Baywatch cop uniform on. And like the rest of it, like all of his supporting characters are just cops. They're just cops and cop outfits.

And then the bad guys show up and they're just full comic book. And you're like, whoa, hold on. You don't belong. This is a mismatch. Like you're not comic. Virtually every character should be like shown bursting through some styrofoam cups in a kid's commercial. Exactly. They have that, they have the energy.

I love it. That's great. I love the moment where Fred died. I just want to really drill into that. And Sean brought that up that, like, it seems so abrupt. But it seems so abrupt because, like, he's actually, Eric Larsson is clearly very experienced, much more so than Rob Leifeld or Todd McFarland at this point.

After reading all of these issues, you know, together, he's much more experienced in, like, sequential art. Like, he, it makes much more sense from, like, panel to panel. Like, you can see movement. And so for him to deliberately, like, to deliberately display that much, moment as like Savage Dragon going, no, I'll protect you. And then the next panel is just an full explosion. Like there's no cut to a bomb or a noise or a click or something. And he knows

he's supposed to. He just doesn't give a shit. And he's just like, no, huge explosion. I think that's what I love about him because you say he's like Jack Kirby and I definitely agree. But he's also kind of a Rob Lefeld if he knew how to draw and was familiar with art. Like his anatomy is crazy. Every lady has gigantic tits, but like in a fun way. Like, as artsy as you can make what I just said, look. Like, if something looks crazy, it's him making choices, not a bunch of mistakes because he's confused, like Rob Lefeld. So, I don't know, there's a cartoon logic to all of his action. It's awesome. He's, I say my top five Spider-Man artists, probably. Top 10, easy. Just to see if you agree, Rusty, I'm going to throw some out. Here's the rest of my list.

Steve's gross Mark Bagley Omberto Ramos I'm not a monster I'm going to give a spot to Ditko Mike Warringo Mike Zek

Ramita Jr. Bagley was never one who grabbed me personally everything just ridiculous Yeah well honestly

I hate to throw shade at him but he's I don't know if you know if you knew this or not but he's actually back in the 80s

when Marvel did the Marvel tryout comic he was the winner of that Oh that's so cool in my head he's just a contest winner

like them like yeah sure How dare he earn it through merit? Yeah, right? Like, that's, I don't know. That's boss. I like that. I like him more.

I agree. Yeah, Humberto Ramos is, again, I like the people who make Spider-Man look like a weird little freak. And like he's all knobbing. And like that's what the Ditko run established. Like he shouldn't,

he should be in awkward poses all the time. And Larson's like that too. McFarlane, of course, too. So I also, actually, I came out and came in during the Ron Friends run. And I apologize for everybody who's, we're losing it right now with the inside talk.

But yeah, like, whoever's like your first Spider-Man artist is usually your favorite, you know? I suppose, yeah. Did we lose you, Brockway, or do you have a favorite Spider-Man artist? No, I'm here. I just don't, I said earlier, I'm a terrible fan. I'm a terrible fan about everything. Like, if you ask me a favorite band, I can tell you my favorite band.

And then you ask me, like, oh, yeah, name a member of that band. Fucking, no, I can't, total blank. Oh, Ricky Rocket. I don't know. I don't know who that is. I'm assuming he's the drummer for poison god damn it i don't know i couldn't tell you i'm a terrible fan which sucks because like as an author i rely on people being good fans and i don't have the brain space for it at all i'll just be like i really like the spider

and then somebody will point out well all of the spider man's you like are from this one guy and i'll be like oh that makes sense huh but at the same time though too like i'm also kind of cursed with like whenever i go to you know a store and i'm with my kid i'm like he's like hey look this shirt with spider man like oh that's a john remita senior i'm like oh god who cares like nobody nobody cares like oh yeah it's spider man you're so confused father but at the same time though too like that's what image kind of got into my core where i'm like i'm thinking about the art the artist who made this you know because that's like it's like it's not just you know the spider man number one shirt

of him crouching over it's a McFarlane one so there was some like importance it did kind of it beat that into my head to make that part of it. But yeah, so the other thing, too, is like, it's either I really kind of thought about this today with rereading the Savage Dragon. There is a part where he inserted, after his dragon joins the police force, he berates and attacks an officer who is racist as hell.

And it's clearly, this was inserted after the original publication, after the LA riots and all that. Then about two pages later, there's this man on the, street interview thing where a guy just does incredibly racist shit on the page and it's like, all right, so Eric Larson, for

every step forward he makes, he takes about five steps back and if you look at, you look up Eric Lurison controversy have fun because you're going to see where he's, he does something like pretty progressive and you're like, hey, good for you, but then he'll just draw like possible kid sex

and you're like, God damn it, Eric. Yeah, doesn't Savage Dragon get really darkly horny? It gets weird later on, so, you know, let's just have this moment right now. I mentioned there was that Spike Pervert villain, and the reason I knew he was a pervert is, like, Eric Larson had very deliberately drawn like a little zipper on his codpiece, and I'm like, okay, this guy takes his dick out a lot. Like, he needs that out.

He didn't have to draw. Comic books don't need to answer the question of how that guy pees. That's part of the, part of the fiction we just allowed to, like, you know, we don't, you have artistic license to put these people in strange outfits, but this was just like, hey, readers, this guy takes a stick out a lot. So, yeah, I guess that makes sense just from that one codpiece I saw.

It's probably his largest spike. And you gotta wait until the final fight scene. Exactly. I mean, I probably stopped buying comics on their regular like 2002. I mean, it was a little while ago, but yeah, I mean, I stuck with Savage Dragon, probably for the first 120 issues or so. I remember

there was actually a, there was like a, like a silver surfer kind of alien lady but like a all gross but she was she had like two children like two babies hanging out of her that were still on the umbilical cord and those were her weapons hell yeah baby chucks yeah it's kind of awesome like the more i'm talking like yeah this is why did i leave this i don't know about awesome but uh i feel like the second that gets touched by another writer they think oh what if we killed one of the babies and it's just hanging there for the rest the real trashed character. Like, it feels like a real 90s thing to do to add, like, a dark sadness

to a character. Like, we had a guy named Speedball when we were kids. And, like, he sucked. He bounced. That was his power. And then, like, they had him involved in, like, a school slaughter. And then he's like, oh, now I'm really dark. And they made him so he had a suit that, like, poked him all day long so he was in constant pain, but also... Penance. Yeah, penance. Yes. And I was like, that's the fucking perfect, like, dark comic book transformation. Because his, I think his power was still bouncing, right? Yeah, but it was constantly charged up. Yeah, that, like, whatever made him bounce, that kinetic, like, feedback was constant because he was always getting, like, poked by his spikes. And so then all that

bounce power came out as, like, this death laser. But within, within the hardcore suit, he was quietly bouncing. And this is precisely, this is precisely what I'm talking about with what I like about comics when, because Spawn, you can't do shit like that with Spawn. His powers are so nonspecific, whereas this guy's like, no, he has bounce powers. And they're like, oh, how would that work if you, like, put a spike on his dick all day? You're like, oh, I'm glad you asked. And like, turns out really well, actually. The science is quite simple.

The bounce gets reverberated through. You get it. You get it. Science. All right. Let's move on to spawn. I'll go next because in, in, you know, booking this podcast, I gave the guys the feedback that, like, we do have to cover three comics,

so we've got to be, you know, a little brief. And, uh, I am going to assume it's Sean who will ignore that completely, uh, and has 7,000 work pages of notes ready to go. I'm shocked. I'm shocked. About Rob Lefeld. I have nothing to say about Rob Lefeld. I'm going to go next and be brief.

And we can just cut Sean off at some point. Like, the Todd podcast will just end partway through one of his, one of his many, many comic book reps. I'm so pissed off right now. So I just spawned by Todd McFarlane, of course. And you won't believe this, but it's about a super-powerful, really sexy guy who lost his memory and has to be kind of a crime stopper. What are the odds that two of the launch titles that we've discussed here are both not only the same story, but that story is Robocop. They're making Robocop

Robocop is awesome Yeah It's hard to blame them I can't be mad at Todd McFarlane Because he's like I wish I wrote Robocop Everybody does If you're just going to put like an aesthetic filter You're going to put a slip knot filter on Robocop

All right fuck yeah let's do it Like that's fine Slip knot filter on Robocop is the best way I've ever heard anyone describe Spawn I mean That's all that's really all the story was the background is he's

he was a mercenary he was unjustly murdered and he made a deal with the devil now he's back to life with those infinite powers but without most of his memories he's going to get them back

as the book goes on and you know he's fighting he's fighting crime all while doing that and also you know fighting things from hell and it kind of rules for the time

you know it was revolutionary for the era when when comics were in the early 90s still kind of peak goofy. We hadn't really transitioned to hardcore edgy. This is sort of what started it. And, you know, Ty gets credit for that. He gets, the first issue is really just all that setup. One thing I do like that he does is whenever he needs to get into like exposition pages, which ideally you shouldn't do it all. But Todd does a lot. And he does that at least in an interesting way where he'll cut to

a full page media breakdown and it's just all the channels covering the contents of this world which is something action movies too well I think too actually this is like

very much a this is they were all like post the Dark Night Returns comic so like they Frank Miller kind of like made this his thing so I think Savage Dragon did it as well too

there's a lot of like yeah I know where you guys got this gimmick from but also you know every Stallone movie every yeah oh sure it's just it's such an action movie thing and that's kind of like that's what image sort of brought and

Todd McFarlane in particular brought this real action movie sensibility to comic books so they became structured much more like much more like a like a Stephen Segal directive video movie which yes because it it sucks like when you're before it's like this really strong voiceover section it's like I'm gonna die a second time on this cool shadowy voice look at me I look fucking awesome, I'm a ghostwriter Spider-Man. And then it just screeches to a halt with like six panels of newscasters, like, Spawners, a guy who gave to the United Negro College Fund. You're like, what are we reading?

But it's a novel way to deliver that exposition because before then in comic books, it would just be a guy standing there saying all of that. And like, you shouldn't do that anyway, but it's nice to see that he stole beats from action movies to do it. It made it, it made it read a little bit different. I'm calling him out on a certain page because a lot of the flashbacks are cool. And obviously, as readers, Todd McFarland wants us to watch each other fuck his wife from the shadows. We all understand that.

But he also does a lot of cool things. Like there's a lot of interesting angles. There's some high concept panel work. Like at one point in the first issue, like the guys like warp out of the narrative and like float in a void while there's an abstract cityscape behind him. Like, that shit is cool and way cooler than it has to be, at least. And, like, I appreciate stuff like that. He's, he's trying to make art.

Yeah, he really, he really thrives in those. Those are, I think those are, like, flashback memory kind of sections. Yeah, there's like one page where, like, like, he's reminiscing about Wanda and she's, it's like, there's multiple panels of her follow. It looks, it's almost kind of flows like the number two, but like organically on, it's, it's really, yeah, that's really cool. Like, for his absolute disregard and lack of care of anatomy or where eyes go on the human face. He's really good at, like, at directing the reader's eye. Like, he's a master of that.

Yeah, especially in the abstract. Like, it gets, it does get interesting. Some other interesting things, uh, like I said, I read Spawn when it came out, so I thought I was not going to have any surprises from this. But rereading it, I did have a few surprises that I did not remember. Uh, I didn't remember that Spawn met his wife at the 1984 Republican convention. I didn't remember that. He was a black Republican in 1984? Yes, he was a black Republican in 19... That's the most absurd thing I've heard in all of comics.

Ironically enough, his power is BESA is 999, which I think was the Herman Kane tax plan. Okay, that's the deep problem. It is a deep cut. It's what a nice German lady said to me when I asked to pee on her. That's from that. Tim Meadows, Tim Cain. Look it up. It's so great.

I also learned that Spahn was voted one of the ten sexiest men two years prior to this story taking place. Pre, like, burn scars, or post? Pre. You talked about it on the e-channel. Like, he started to talk soup. Like, what?

Yeah. You're talking Michael J. White? Because, yes, absolutely. But, like, spawn? Also, I mean, keep in mind that he is not, like, a celebrity. He was, even in the comic books, he's a Marine who, like, disappeared

from the public guy in shame and became, like, a mercenary. And they were like, oh, we got to vote him one of the ten. sexiest men all the votes would be like who was he at least like was he at least like an acumete or something like that we could we could see it you know like you know he had the world's fastest roundhouse or something i just love that he he's that when todd mcfarlane's like who's the coolest guy i can imagine well definitely people magazine sexiest man of the year absolutely he knows 13 kinds of

martial arts in 10 he's fluent in 10 languages and you know he's republican i got to get that in the first five pages they got to know Around that time, it would have been Mark Harmon, I think. I'm just kidding. I do not have all of people magazine's Sexist Man's Alive memorized. Jamie, cut this. Cut this from the podcast. God, if that's accurate.

You're in so much trouble if that's accurate. So the plot of this comic is... I'm going to look it up. If I get it, you owe me $15. I owe you a hit with my car if you know that. if you have categorical memory. 1986. He was sexiest man alive in 1986.

I missed it by six years. So just barely graze me with your car. I'll hit you with my motorcycle. How about that? Okay. Okay. So the plot of Spawn, it's not a ton of plot. He's mostly this exposition of this guy.

He doesn't remember who is he's back from hell. The only real conflict is he goes to stop rape in progress by a band of guys. Their leader is named Shank. And he has a Shank. So it's strong branding. Real strong branding. It's pretty good. Yeah, I'd buy that toy.

What I love about this scene where he confronts them is that it's not like, it's not like even like early Batman where the criminals have no idea what this lunatic is supposed to be. They're not like, whoa, look at this guy dressed in the pajamas here. Like, one of the gang sees him and goes, he's one of those young bloods, like instantly clocking him as he's a superpower guy. Try knife. Give it a shot. And Shank, God bless his can-do attitude, says, who cares? Check this out, guys. And then Slum just throws him through the window.

Check this out. He's throwing him outside a window, but they're inside an alley. Don't come to Todd for like continuity or understanding environments for knowing how bodies work. But come to Todd for a guy named Shank who's like superpowers, who gives his shit? I got a knife. The second guy did that too, right? The second guy does it too. All right.

I'll show you how to shank, shank. I should be the one called shank. It's extremely fat second in command. Watches this happen and it's like, hey, nobody jerks with me. I just did the stuff to this guy. In any way, Spawn, because Tom McFarlane knows what rules, Spawn just explodes them all with a fingertip spark. Like, fuck this conflict and stakes thing.

He's just like, no, fingertips. spark and then it blows up the whole rest of the gang. And then instead of just really like farming that moment, he stands in front of the victim that he just said and then has like a complete jimbering breakdown because he remembers his wife. He's just like, that's a really funny thing to do. It is pretty funny. And it answers the question I had earlier, like, how can Spawn lose a fight?

I guess he just sometimes flips out and falls asleep. Yeah, he just passes out because he remembered his wife. That's his kryptonite. If he sees a lady with her shirt half ripped off, he's like, oh no! And then it's nine pages of flashback. There's a little B plot about the cops that are going to investigate, spawn, and, you know, they're investigating the murder of all of these most positive and optimistic gang members in the city. And then it all ends on the devil, the what is?

his name, Maboldja? El Bolja? And he's just, he's laughing and saying, ha, ha, ha, Simmons, that spawn's name.

If you think you've got problems now, and you're like, oh, shit, it's the last line of the comic. Here's where the devil says something super fucked up and cool and evil. And what the devil says is,

I promise your troubles have just begun. It's amazing he made a comic for people who have, for like, for like, he was corn before he actually worked for, corn. This is a corn comic. It's like a slipnot, like he said earlier.

I didn't know he worked for corn. Yeah. He actually did, he directed one of their videos and the, the, uh, follow the leader album, he did the artwork for it. Oh, here's a question that I shouldn't, shouldn't ask. Did he do a good job? Hey, if I was a corn fan, sure, I guess. Yeah.

Okay. I mean, he's very much like, are you mad at your dad? You'll love me. Yeah. That's his whole brand. I feel like I've never seen a. second thing out of Todd McFarlane. So like, if you hire him to do something, he just does the one thing. And you're like, yeah, that's exactly what we wanted. Thank you, Tom. Yeah, I wanted you to do

spawn. Can you make all of us spawn? Yes. Fantastic. Would you like to watch each other fuck my wife on Satan's Carousel? That is pretty spawn of you. Okay, that's it. That's it. Those are all the notes I took for spawn. Sean. Great notes. I did Youngblood, and I didn't take any notes at all. I don't know why you thought there'd be a lot of notes. But I do want to say, was the very first image comic. I think the pre-order, it set the record for pre-orders. Like, everyone wanted Youngblood. And when I was a kid, uh, I didn't know that Rob Leifeld couldn't draw, I guess. So like, I did a lot of studies of comic artists. Like, I think that's how most nerds learn how to draw. So I have tons of bad copies from my childhood of like Arthur

Adams and Joe Metterera art. But Leifeld studies like straight up make you feel like a genius when you're a kid because like any sixth grader can do them. Uh, it's how you draw before you learn how to draw. He'll have toes and fingers backwards and he can't do foreshortening or perspective or backgrounds. But like in a, when you're 11, it's like, this looks kind of awesome. I don't like, you know, should have another artist. But the same time, though, too, like, if you want to know what it feels like as an artist to look at AI getting ahead, look at Rob Leithel. Yeah. Because you're like, there's so many mistakes. How is this getting by people? I think in the, in that, in that documentary on Tooby, somebody said it best where they said, these felt like, these felt like comics for 13-year-old boys by 13-year-old boys.

They meant that sort of metaphorically for the rest of the crew, but like literally for Rob Leifeld. This is what the comic guy would show you, what the comic kid would show you in seventh grade. You'd be like, this fucking kicks ass. Do you want to draw this on my lawyer for a dollar? I think I carried his failures with me through life longer than I should have in a way that like, like if you see a cubist painting, you're like, oh, I could do that. And then, like, an art historian will be like, no, dude, like, that person is a fucking really talented, accomplished painter. They're making choices here.

I, Rob Lefeld, can't do it. Like, these are all mistakes that we're seeing, like, just nakedly. And not in a way where, like, you get what I'm saying. And so, like, I would be an art school and my teachers would be like, oh, you can't just draw crazy shit. And I'm like, this is the crazy shit. It's the cool part. Like, yeah, but you don't know how to draw a tree. I'm like, I don't need to, you know, so it's, I carried this failure of Rob Leifeld with me probably a little bit into college where I would have this really terrible attitude of, because I was a bad boy of like, of art school, like Rob Leifield was the bad boy of not knowing how to draw. Yeah, I guess I also was the bad boy of not knowing how to draw. So yeah, we have a lot in common. But anyway, Rob Leifeld was just like, he had like kind of a party attitude to his failures. Like, fuck it. Here's the guy with his hands on back.

Of course, he's got no feet. Maybe he's underwater. I don't fucking know. I don't try that part. He's also just Wolverine, by the way, and his friend is Cable. And his other friend, Cable also. With a little bit of Wolverine. Yes.

So this comic opens with a real bad drawing of a guy in a suit. You could tell Rob hated this. He's got like a red balloon next to him. I think it was supposed to be a TV or something. With something on it, but fuck it. Red balloon. There's a bunch of news stories about war. and I just talked about this in Spawn

how like the storytelling of putting six panels of newscasters on your page it sucks but here it's so much worse because every sentence is a sentence fragment like someone's changing the channel is too fast for you know what they're talking about there's a dude name that in action yes exactly he's like that's how you do it

only in a comic book like you don't get that interruption you're like what the fuck man stop it it is the first thing you see here there's a guy named Hassan Cusain and I think he's fighting Cairo there's like some kind of religious cult that took over Israel. It's all just background world building, except it's not a guy in front of 50 TVs taking in the sorry state of the world.

It's six very deliberate panels of shitty, generic heads in front of some scratchy lines. I don't want anyone to think I'm saying this lightly. I genuinely think there's no worse page in comic history, maybe period, but definitely like when you talk about success versus good ratio, like if that makes sense, Like, for something so popular to be this absolutely inept is crazy. It'd be like if Star Wars opened up with Peter Cushing eating a jar of diarrhea and say, what are you doing? This isn't supposed to be part of the movie.

And then we get Star Wars. So anyway, he recently remastered the comic and they cleaned up a lot of the art. They rearranged the pages, rewrote all the fussy outbursts to be kind of coherent, and they cut this page. So he knew it sucked. I just got to say, I did not see. Again, I probably bought and definitely red young blood number one when it came out. I didn't remember it was about Israel and pro-Israeli genocide.

Maybe. It's hard to be sure, but I'm 80% sure that's what this is about. I think that's what that was because they're definitely, they're coming into Israel. And at one point, one of the guys, sci-fire, even does the Trump talking point. And he looks around and goes, if it weren't for like these local. this would be prime beachfront property. I do. You're not going to believe it's

I have that in my notes. But it cuts from all that crap to just our heroes jumping out of the sky. It's this huge reveal. And they needed sort of a, it's a bird, it's a plane type of moment. But instead it says, but wait, over there, the helicopters.

Mumble. M-Sor, not. I swear to God, it says Mumble. M-N-M-S-O-R, not question mark. There appears to be unusual aerial assault. That's how they describe 50 superheroes jumping out of the fucking sky. And let me describe the superheroes.

It's a Wolverine. It's a black cable, a white storm, another cable who's either gigantic or drawn wrong, a big guy who looks like a flesh colossus, and then just a bunch of generic green X-Men guys. There's no background. We don't know where the fuck they are. The big guy's, the big cable is named Combat, and he's big, but not as big as like you're first given the impression of. I think he's probably like 10 feet tall, but the,

first drawing, he's like, that's a 39-foot-tall man. Because, again, Rob Leifeld thinks sometimes when things far away from you, it get big. I think, I think at one point, I don't remember where it was from, but I think at one point Rob Leifeld did draw somebody whose, like, power was changing size, and it was so hard to tell that that was their power, because everybody else was constantly changing size, too, and you're like, I don't know, I don't know how to take this. Yep. he had a way of like not he just didn't erase something so if he drew a guy and he looked wrong

he just kept adding lines to it until like whatever he's just sort of a lost in some crosshatching you can't really tell what's supposed to be there but yeah there's um i don't think there's any way for readers to know these people like at the time i don't think there was any press releases that kids would have gotten hold of and say oh i know this gentleman's name is combat or that that wolverine's guy is coog uh but that's we we we so So he's sort of like having everyone yell each other's names in really stilted ways. So it'll be like, come over this way. And then they'll say, I'm not doing that, Coog.

And that's how everyone talked also, by the way. Like someone would say something. And then their dear friend and training partner and combat brother is like, fuck you, you fucking shit, dickhead. And they're like, why did he say that? The mountain monsters rules to improv. Right. So anyway, everybody's drawn wrong.

The Wolverine guy's named Kug, like I said, the Colossus, no, not the Colossus guy, the cable guy, throws him, which is, I mean, Colossus and Wolverine, they own that move. They have a name for that move. It's incredible to, like, open your fight scene with the famously stolen move in all of the media. Babe says, shut up sci-fire. I liked that because that's her first line, sci-fire. This is the thing you mentioned, Brockway. He sees all of the war zone.

He says, I should have bought this land. always want a beachfront property, babe. And I guess that means he's rich, but not rich enough to have already owned beachfront property, except like in this neighborhood, which is yellow or sometimes pink void. We don't know what this is, but he's like, he sees the land they're destroying. He's like, dude, I could afford this. Especially after we finish filling everybody here. Nobody's going to want that.

The blood's so grand. I'll build a resort. A great spot for a resort. Yes, Gaza Resort. God, that was a real thing that happened in the news. We just, like, allowed it. Rob Leifeld predicted the news. This fucking...

We're living in the Rob Leifeld future. So I think Babe is a water lady, which makes her swimsuit make sense. So at first you're like, that is a weird sexy leotard for her to be wearing, even for comic books. But it's like, no, she's like a water lady. And she has trouble making waves. Like, they're in the desert. And so she's like, oh, it's really fucking hard to make stupid waves here, you dumb assholes. Because that's how everyone talks.

The action is absurd. Nothing means anything. Guys are punching guys or shooting floors. And then a bad guy shows up and everyone's gloating and wisecracking. And I'm like, I genuinely have no idea what's happening. And this is my favorite form of art. Nobody's worse at sequential art. Like reading all of these back to back, there's another thing from that documentary

where somebody in a pro way, in a very enthusiastic way, said, Rob Lefeld, man, he's like the Michael Bay of comics. You're like, oh, yeah, that's true. in that I have the same thing And then anytime I watch like a late era Michael Bay movie I have no idea what's like Where people are in space

Or like how things are working Like this is visual nonsense And it's like you're assaulted with proper nouns The entire time With reading these three I'm like I don't want I am not accepting any more new names For anybody in my head anymore

It was just nonstop Hey their impact Charlie Riptide knuckle butt At least you can guess their name Yeah By looking at them You can guess their name by looking at any character. What's his name?

Warman. Yep, pretty close. It's combat. Not cable named TBD. I'll get you. Plus, a lot of their names are like impact and combat. So you're like, is that that dude's name or is this like, are they calling out a move to do? Are they describing their situation?

But combat beats up a robot. And then Kug is like, the Wolverine guy, he's like, you got to stop beating up that robot. It's had enough. Or it's a grunt. Somebody says it's a grunt. It's hard to say it looks like the writer and the artist couldn't agree on what they were fighting. Oh, no, both those people are Rob Leifeld. But anyway, four full pages are devoted to sci-fire exploding the head of the villain we just met, who's like, Kazam Hussein or whatever the fuck.

His eyes vanished in one panel, so I'm like, oh, does he like go blind when he uses his powers? But no, Rob Leifeld just forgot to draw his eyes. Everyone has, like, different reactions to this. Like, again, I'm not kidding when he takes four pages to explore. this guy with his psionic powers and then everyone shows up and they're like dude you just explode this guy like so i don't know if they're supposed to take him alive or what everyone has different reaction to this in the text theoretically but rob lyefield can only draw a couple of kinds of faces and he only drew the shocked one here so everyone's like gasp and then some of them are like you

shouldn't have killed this guy in such a brutal way anyway and some of them are like oh not again but also wow i can't believe you did this uh anyway there's no reason to think they didn't kill 700 people on the way in, so I'm not sure what we as the readers are meant to think. Is it a weird day for Youngblood? Is it killing something they tried to avoid usually? Is this like a point of attention to you? Some guys like killing and others are like, I think we should be nice. There's a full page fake newspaper article about how this guy killed himself. So like, I guess they're a covert wetwork team in superhero costumes who do siops and assassinations. There's also a gag on here.

And they're the most famous people in the world. Yes. Once again, Rob Liffel did not consult Rob Leifeld. There's also a gag about Marvel Comics going under, I think. It says, pow smash, Kerplash, Marvel Comics, maybe head. And I guess we're supposed to assume heading for bankruptcy. By the way, it's not heading and cut off somewhere. It's head, and then they stops typing, and there's a blank spot. Pretty sweet insult when you fucking stumble over it.

Anyway, there's also like a bonus comic after that where they go to Washington, D.C., And everyone knows famous home of the pink and green glass skyscrapers that are super easy to draw with the ruler. Some shoplifter tricks Shaft and beating him up. And Shaft is their hawkeye. But he doesn't have his bow and arrow at the time. So he takes a sniper out with a pen and the sniper dies going, How'd gurgle, no arrows? Fantastic writing.

Famous last words. His feet are amazingly hidden in every single panel. His eyes move around his head. He has the only haircut Rob Life He can draw non-Wilverine version. That's Shaft. The rest of the team gets called in. Some of these people you might know,

one's Bad Rock, who's a thing. And then another one is Black Cable. And then there's like the most generic superhero that'll ever be. He's just kind of a white and blue Spider-Man guy with Coloss's arms and some backpack strap tubes. I don't remember his name. They don't say it in this comic,

and I'm not going to fucking look it up. It's probably Cyborg or some fucking shit. They have like a mind-faced black cat. I guess she's a domino. They have a firestorm. They go fight a juggernaut and a red cable. The whole comic, it feels like cow tools. If you remember the Farside comic,

like you think you recognize some things because they're plainly obvious. But then you see something, you're like, oh, no, wait, this isn't anything. Maybe those other things weren't anything either. And then he just kept that going for the entire run of the comic and the rest of his career.

He focuses on what, like, what's the coolest part of what's happening. He doesn't care about anything else. So it's like, if he's, like, if he's, like, gonna make you, like, a hamburger, he just gives you like some bacon and a burger and just it puts it on in front of you like here eat here's my cheeseburger and you're like dude where's the rest of this stuff i didn't want to draw the bun just eat eat it now that's another thing like uh i came i will say i came out of the documentary the image

revolution uh i came out of that so much more on rob leifeld's side than ever because he really he was so young he was so fucking young when all this when he when he did all of this and not only young but like he made it seem like he had not really been drawing comics before this like he he's he he'd been drawing comics for like i don't know i think he was working for like a total of four years and it seemed like was not drawing comics on his own for very long before that either so he was just coming in completely overwhelmed and then somebody said now you're the most famous person in the world at this and he was like well i mean i guess fuck yeah but on the other hand, what?

Yeah. And he, you get such a, like, positive hymbo impression from him. Like, there's no ill will to him. He was so happy that when they started all building their own studios at Image. And so he just started hiring everybody that seemed like they wanted to party. Like, all of the other, like, Jim Lee had his studio and he took very carefully, like, plotted out to take, you know, all of the most, like, diligent workers that people would put in, like, all of this overtime were super serious. and Mark Silvestri had his studio and he's like stealing all the great artists

and Todd McFarland is over here and he's just doing spawn and he doesn't want to do anything else. Everybody else is like branching out and he's like, no, fuck you, spawn. And Rob Leifeld is over here just grabbing the youngest dudes he could find that like to party and like just living in the office with them. He bought them all like matching leather jackets

and sports cars and it were just like... They're the coolest. It's just what would happen if you gave a 13-year-old old boy unlimited power and control, which is obviously a nightmare. Well, the funny thing is that it's like Todd McFarlane to me is like a 13 year old boy dream come true where he's like, I'm going to draw Spider-Man, I'm going to give him cool webs, I'm going to make a toy company. And he does it.

He lived a dream. I have to give him credit there. But like Rob is like the nightmare version of that. I see, I think it's reversed. I think Rob is the ideal version of that. Rob is what it is. Rob is the 13-year-old, right, that gets all of that. And Todd McFarlane is the 17-year-old that, like, still hanging out with the 13-year-old because nobody else will hang out with him.

Like, he's just, like, and the 13-year-old Rob thought Todd McFarlane was the coolest fucking guy in the world. Why? Because Todd McFarlane kept telling him, I'm the coolest fucking guy in the world. And Rob was, nobody else, everybody else is like, why does he keep saying that? And Rob was like, holy shit, it's that true? Holy shit. And he wants to hang out with me? I think that the thing that defines them is all the people you mentioned became so accomplished.

Like Jim Lee took over as like the head of productions at DC and like Todd McFarlane, his toy company became hugely successful and kind of innovated in a lot of things. And all the other guys became more and more talented and created more and more interesting IPs. And Rob Leifeld literally never learned how to draw better than he learned than he knew in 1992 in a way that should not be possible. in the same way that like vanilla ice never learned to rap better like why would he for some reason he had no talent and we were like you're the best in the world that will just destroy a human brain like a human brain that is still trying to grow that's how you eliminate it that's how you just put a cap on the human potential you mentioned like the remastered young blood uh because i noticed that like there was some pages that were added uh like

you know 20 years after the original one but in the time that passed there's a character called like I think just cross. He has a scar on his eye. It changes places within two panels. It goes from the, this is 20 years of growth. He doesn't care. He doesn't care. But not in a good way, not in a passionate, artistic way.

Just like, I really, I don't even remember if I'm supposed to care about this shit. I don't know. I think the thing that struck me about Image Comics is that, like, it kind of felt a little bit new, but absolutely built on the bones and ruins of ancient ideas. Like, sometimes they have an interesting take on superheroes, but, like, everything's so cliche. Like, this is obviously just a Wolverine, or this is obviously just Spider-Man,

or like, everyone has amnesia. Like, we don't even care about interesting ways to tell a story. Their two biggest launch titles were both Robocop. Yes. So I think for the most part, these are all just, like, mediocre pitches that Stan Lee wouldn't get. And I think I might have accidentally solved the true origin of this entire fucking company right there.

Fine, Stanley, you don't like my RoboCop Spider-Man idea? I just start my own company. But imagine being Stanley and being like, get this fucking kid out of my office and then opening the paper the next day and being like the best selling everything of all time? Yeah. What?

Like, how did this not lead, I don't know, half the staff at Marvel and DC just jumping out the window like stockbrokers and the Great Depression? I don't know how you survived this. You're a stronger person than me to survive this. It's hard to take their side, but their spite led them to great success, and they annihilated their enemies.

I think Marvel, like, almost went bankrupt or did go bankrupt, like, within a year or two. Ever the showman, Todd McFarlane had a great quote in that documentary where he said, like, you can, or somebody had it about Todd McFarland, and then he chimed in. He was looking at the desperate turns that Marvel and DC started. taking with like death of Superman and like the whole uh what was it nightfall with the backbreaking somebody's setting him up for this to be like to take you know a kind of hero's quote and what he says is we killed Superman we broke Batman's spine Todd are you rooting for you do you know you're supposed to like are you the heel in your own life now who wants to fuck my wife

Einstein who did Frankford Frankfurt. Our podcast can't. And with maximal in show. Like Frankfurt podcast? Correct. Yeah. The craft is nitratis not

order. Shugty in the Huntersau for an hour a stunder. Come on. You kid's the number. 1,900. 1,900.

Frankfurt. 1,900, Frankfurt. 1,900. New York. 1, 900. Frankfurt. 1, 900. 1,000.

Thanks a hundred, Frankfurt. I'm gonna, you know, you're new, yeah, 9,000. Please welcome once again 1-900 hot dogs, very own in-house comic, the overly specific insult comedian who makes things to real. It's Mr. Jimmy Juggles. Hey, thank you! Thank you. It's lousy to be here. Got a lot of Supremes in the audience tonight. Look at Aaron Crosston here. Hey, you look like you don't get enough colonoscopies. Like you're going to die of ass cancer at 54.

Just when you start really getting comfortable with who you are. Oh, what's the matter? A little too real for you? Yeah, I know. I'm working on that. Hey, I see Adrian Hisbrook. Hey, I see Alex Nolenberg. Look at this, it's Alpha Scientist Javo. Hey, and Andy, I see you back there. I once went on safari with this guy and I watched him kill a white rhino. So he could powder and snort its horn. He was so sad when it did not give him an erection. I wasn't supposed to tell nobody that. Oh, it's a very serious crime. Oh, oh! Hey, it's our Mando Nava, I see Autumn Armstrong Berg, I see Bim Talzer, oh Brandon Garlock, I know you ain't got enough in your retirement fun. You're blowing it all on Funko Pops of obscure movie monsters and your elderly self is gonna curse you for it. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, that one's a sprinkler.

It was supposed to be a sprinkler. It's summer. I'm trying something. Brian Sailor, I see you there, Brockway famously loves the meat millie. Hey, Sarah, I'd see Chloe here. She got a face only a mother could love. Could, but did not. Oh, ho. Keep seeking that validation from camgirls and escorts, babe. That's you. That's what you do. That's not me. Why would you think that's me? That's you. I only say true stuff about you. Like, uh, like, uh, like a common sense here. He looked like he got one of those ironic names. Like calling Common Sense's mother Mrs. Had a Positive Influence on Common Sense's body dysmorphia. Whoa!

Hey, come on, it's just a joke. There's no truth to it. It don't mean nothing about neither of us. All right? I don't wish I was a small, frail, pale man, racked by consumption? Like, that's, I'm happy being big and healthy. That's what I like. That's what I like.

Don't question it. Here's Craig Lemoyne. Let's move on. Here's Craig Lemoyne. I see Dan B. I see David Scholl. I see Dean Costello. I love this guy.

Dean Costello, he once watched someone. He loved Drown, and he was too scared to help him. So he sold the song rights to Phil Collins. You guys got to stop trusting me with your secrets. Oh. Sorry, I hiccoughed while doing that one. And it came out weird. That won't happen again.

Delta, Fox Trot. Devin the Rogue Supreme, Doug Redmond, Dusty's rad title, Edgar Matthias, you look like you find comfort at night by telling yourself nobody remembers the embarrassing stuff you did. But I've heard it, it's all anybody talks about. Oh! Back to normal O's. Oh, it was a one-time fluke. Just like all your exes say about you, Elizabeth Shope.

Oh! All right, I see Elliot Watson here. alright, I'm alright too. I'm glad I got my normal O's back. I was not just testing the waters for a new and scary change that I desperately want to make in my life. Not like Eric Christian Berg. Look at that ball cap. They call this the receding hairline special. Oh! I got fancy shark. I got Garrett. I got Jello. I got good Satan and all his hot witches over here. Oh look at this. It's Greg Cunningham. Greg Cunningham, you work so much.

Your kids are going to have trouble remembering your face after they leave for college. Oh, that one's about you. That's not about something haunting my kids said to me. All this stuff's about you guys. Hey, Haraka, hey Harvey Pengweeney. Oh, I'd love to see you here, honk. Hey, Jabberal Aiden, James Boyd, I got Jared Clack.

I got Jared Mountain Man. Oh, I got Jared Ruiz. Hold on. Jared Ruiz here, he's gonna wait until everyone's gone for the night and then he's gonna go around and lick all the seats of the people who didn't laugh at my jokes. That's what he's gonna do. Oh, he likes the taste of failure this guy does, not me, Jeff Oraski, John McCam, and I got John Minkoff. Hey, you smell like extramarital sex, my man, everyone can smell it.

Even your wife there next to you. She just don't have the courage to disrupt her whole life. cause she don't know she's worth 10 of you because she's too fucking stupid. Oh, I got you both. Oh, I'm sorry there was again. That's, uh, that's weird. I don't know what's going on with that. Okay, I got, I got Joseph Searle's here. I got Josh S. I got Joshua Graves. I got Justin B. I got Ken Paisley. I got K&M. Hey K&M. Your AI girlfriend called. Just kidding. No, she's. I got Josh. didn't. Oh, there we go. That's the normal one. That's okay. Everything's normal. I'm not learning nothing about myself up here. Okay. Okay, we got Camusus. We got KVH. We got Lane Heygood. We got Lisa. Lisa worries she's the weird girl at work because she never gets invited to nothing. Don't worry, Lisa. They don't think you're weird. They don't think about you at all. Oh, normal one again. All right, we got it. We got it. Am Jahi Chappelle.

Mark Mahoney, Matt Riley, Max Broyd, Mercenary Sissadman, Michael Lair, a Mojou, you carry yourself like you're not the hero in your own story. Oh, that one seems gentle at first, but it will haunt you. Some things, they just, they just haunt you. Uh, Mort, I got Mort here, I got Mr. Bob Gray, I got ND, what does ND stand for? Non-descript? Oh, that one's on purpose. It's a callback to that thing I did earlier.

I'm owning it, okay? I'm owning it. It's just a joke. Neil Bailey, Neil Bailey liked that, oh, right? Right, Neil Bailey liked it. He likes that pop stuff, am I right? Ha, ha, I hate that stuff.

He loves it, though. Neil Schaefer, I got Neku 104, I got Nick Levino, I got obsolete over here. Now, obsolete, he's like Neil Bailey. This is someone who wants to prance about in a powdered wig. I can see it. I can see it, obsolete. Oh!

That's me doing an impression. That's an impression of obsolete. That's not me. Ornry Weevil. I got Ozzie Olin. I got Patrick Herbst. I got Pee Wee's uncle. I got Rebrandrew.

I got Red Wine Time. Red Wine Time probably got a secret storage unit full of ruffled shirts and tights. Sometimes they sleep in there just to be physically closer to the person they think they are inside. Oh, that's what you do. That's what you do, Red Wine Time. Hey, Ria.

I got Russell Bowman. I got Sam Coveman. I got Sarkovsky. Look at Sean Chase. I got seed over here. Hey, Space Jam fan. Space Jam fan. Now, this is a guy who sees an old-timey fop or dandy put on his white face makeup and paint the little mole on and he's like, ooh, that's me.

That's the way I wish I was. Oh, I got you. I know that's how you are. Hey, Spotty reception. A super knot, Tater's Tales, Thomas Cavatzos. Oh, who do we got here? You know how sometimes you can see a man. you take one look at him and you just know you just know this guy this guy likes to titter I got you Thomas I got your tittering ass Timmy Leahy Toasty God Tommy G

Velo Victor Malavakin booster oh don't sink down in your seat now booster I see you I got you I know you you think you're some strong independent woman but I know you're tight I know you're tight you live your whole life just hoping oh you're just praying some big strong man comes along and calls one of your quips ribald that's you that's what you hope happens that has nothing to do with me i can just see it on your face wailing russell evan clapham zach and eva i'm looking at john dean here and i just know this guy sees old-timey fops and dandies in movies and he don't know he don't know are they a german thing are they french or english or something Are they just kind of all Europe rolled together into like one stereotype that maybe never existed at all?

But that don't matter to John Dean, because every time he sees them boys minson and Pranton, he thinks, that's me. That's not the me I am, but is the me I should be. And he goes, and he becomes an insult comment, because that's what they say the men do. That's what they say the modern day man equivalent is of that. But it just doesn't fulfill, you know, it doesn't, it's not. enough for John Dean he thinks he's like I'm Oscar Wilde up here you know telling it like it is and everybody everybody laughs and joins in and calls me pretty and it never quite happens that way does it John Dean it's not the same

thing being an insult comic as it is being a real being a fop with a savage wit I see you John Dean all over your face man it's all over your face that you wish that that was what you were that's you that's what that's what you are a joke. It's all a joke. It's just, there's no truth to it. There's no truth to it, man.