The Dogg Zzone by 1900HOTDOG - Dogg Zzone 9000 - Episode 26, The Great Cosby Hunt

Episode Date: June 9, 2021

Seanbaby, Brockway, and Lydia Bugg continue their Pop Culture Investigations, wherein they try to solve crimes that were already solved just by tracking the work of the criminal. This time around, they're after Bill Cosby: Will they be able to trap Bill Cosby, convicted sex criminal, using only his own subpar comedy books? Hopefully! He's already in prison!

One nine hundred hot dog. One nine hundred hot dog. Our podcast slams with maximum hype. Say hot dog podcast word. Yeah. When you taste that nitrate power, you're in the dog zone for an hour. Come on.

You know the number. One nine hundred. One nine hundred hot dog. One nine zero zero. One nine hundred hot dog. One nine hundred. One nine hundred hot dog. One nine zero zero zero.

Yeah. Nine thousand. Welcome to the dog zone. Nine thousand. I'm TV Sean, maybe from the internet. And with me is a chipper and excited rubber proc way.

Hey, how you guys doing? I cannot sustain that energy. I'm immediately out of gas here. I would love that. Like two hours in, you still trying to do that. I think that'd be our best podcast. That'd be up there with our Soren Buwi podcast. Soren, we love you.

And people actually liked that one. Everybody loved that one. And I guess that means I really don't understand what makes a good podcast. I think it means we probably deep down hate ourselves and like the idea of us talking about our process and like our regrets and our insecurities is like disgusting to us.

But to other people, it's like, oh, look, they're, you know, our favorite comedy writers are humans and have their own personality traits. I hate that they know that. I hate them for knowing that. Yeah. They shouldn't know that about us. Fucking assholes.

They should see the end game of our art where I take comic books and take the words and make it so they're talking about dicks. They don't need to see the suffering behind it. Yeah. They don't need to know. Also with us is 1900 Hot Dogs Own Lydia Bug. Yay.

Hi. I actually wait for you to introduce me this time patiently instead of just jumping right in. You can just go ahead. I mean, it's pretty much over here. Yes. Well, I will say I listened to that episode and I did enjoy it partially because I felt like

for some reason that it was probably harder for me than everyone else. So, like, yeah, listening to you guys talk about it being hard made me feel a little bit better. Oh, no. It sucks for everybody and nobody knows why we deal with it. Yeah. I feel like writers are always complaining

about how writing sucks and, like, they've all heard it, but we still do it anyway. Like, for instance, at the top of our show, we like to talk about our struggles with our current projects. So, Lydia, what are you working on that you'd like to complain about? Oh. Well, what I wrote this week was about,

I found an interview once where Penn Bagley, the actor, or Penn Badgley, I think is how you say it. Oh, yeah, from Gossip Girl. Yes, yes, Dan from Gossip Girl, also Gossip Girl, spoilers for Gossip Girl. And he's also on the show You, which I like much better. It's a really good show and I'm kind of interested in him because he plays this, like, serial killer

and a bunch of people continued to be in love with him even though he was, like, doing big murders on people and he was having to, like, go on social media and being like, I play a bad guy. You should not be in love with him. Just like real serial killers. Yeah, yeah, like how they do. Get a lot of ass through the mail.

I mean, honestly, yeah, that's true. Women love serial killers. I wrote about it for Cracked before about, like, what psychologically is, you know, what society doing to make us feel like. And I think it's a lot of, we should say that. Did you crack it? Oh, yeah, I saw it.

Oh, I see. It's not a problem anymore. But anyway. You've got to talk to every single one of my ex-girlfriends. They all love serial killers. Every single one of them. Wait a second. Wait a minute.

No follow-up questions. So you're saying all your exes love serial killers? Okay, I'll leave it. One more thing. You just got Colomboed, Brockway. It explains the room in this house that no one's allowed to go into. It's a red flag. I just don't notice that.

It explains the all of the rooms in my house that no one's allowed to go into. They've got different themes and traps. Wait, not traps. Fun. Games. Activities. For all.

Mostly young women. I was talking about, I was about to talk about Pokemon in a way. I got lots. All right. Of course. Of course. Everyone would have guessed that, of course. Yeah, this is obviously leading towards Pokemon.

I read a thing where somebody asked him, what's the worst thing you ever did, which is such a bold interview question to ask. Like, what project do you hate? And he said, when I was a kid, I made a Pokemon training video and I was like, oh, I'm going to look that up. Yeah.

That's just the dinner bell for us. Yeah. I just edited that article. That was really funny. Oh, thank you. It was fun, but I was just like painful for me to watch, which I mentioned in the article, because I don't like watching people kind of just be made fun of,

you know, and it was a lot of that. Really belligerent video. Like, oh, you don't even know how to tap your Pokemon cause. Yes. Stupid feeling. A lot of stuff in like 90s all the way into, I want to say mid 2000s was just, they didn't know what else to do.

So instead of like being funny or having a personality, like aggressive, wildly aggressive was default. Everybody loves that. That's just, yeah. I think that's called toad attitude, but you dropped the first part. Yeah, I hated it. It's spelled apostrophe T U D E.

Oh, the apostrophe. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. That's what I'm talking about is toad. It's a very specific type of attitude. Yeah. That's totally what it was.

I think it's extinct now. So kids, if you're watching, that's what we're talking about. It's to time. It's to time. I just edited that and I had a lot of fun. I found like on a whim. I just searched for Pokemon VCR because I was doing a little graphic.

I wanted to put all your GIFs in a little frame. Oh, I love that. And there's literally a Pikachu VCR. And I was like, oh my God, this is fucking perfect. And I found like some super grimy one off of eBay. I'm like, well, it doesn't, it doesn't get any easier than this. I was talking about how writing being a struggle, but like image editing, nothing to it.

Oh my gosh. That's so not true. Yeah. That's like the hardest part for me. I have canvas, which is like baby Photoshop. And it's still really hard. I have regular Photoshop and I'm wildly unqualified to use it. You put it together.

There's some nice stuff, Broglie. Yeah. And it kills me every time. Yeah. Sometimes I can see the struggle behind it, but other times I'm like, this looks nice. Yeah. You should feel once again the suffering.

You should really feel the suffering when you look at any image that I make. Well, speaking of suffering, here's what I did for work this week. The issues of GamePro, just the letter section, not the entire magazine, because I found a letter in GamePro just like on a whim. I was kind of looking through like, you know, maybe I'll do an article on these old video game advertisements or something. These are kind of funny. And I saw a letter to them where they're just like, hey,

Bridget Wilson played Sonya in Mortal Kombat. What's her address? And I was like, I was like, this is the funniest letter to print. And so I was like, maybe you answer that. And they just say, no, calm down. Yeah. Right. Why would you write to GamePro?

Like how desperate are you where they're like, you know who knows how to get in touch with Sonya Blade? GamePro magazine, seven fucking nerds in San Mateo. You definitely can get in touch with them. Nobody remembers how hard stalking used to be before the internet. Right. It was the hardest job. Like, they don't know how to use a phone book just to stalk somebody.

Yeah. It was crazy. You had to go places, bushes, mostly. Did they write to every magazine? Like were they writing to like TV guide? Yeah. You never knew when somebody would just fuck up and publish your letter. Yeah.

Hey, they published. Why did they publish that? What was their answer that they would publish that? Yeah. What did they say? Please. They gave out her like publicity PO box. So like you could just write to her agent or whatever.

Even that's kind of a fuck up. Yeah. It's already weird. But the other thing about this article is that this was just totally normal in the 80s and 90s. They would just put the kids entire full name and their hometown, which was my research skills with like literally anyone's research skills. Yes, you could reverse stalk them.

So what happened in these, this, the trope that I found in these magazines was that every single child loved violence and they would write in and give like really like Ben Shapiro. We kind of like shitty logic arguments for why violence was actually just and great and perfectly fine. And so they'd be like, the theme of the magazine is they'd print these articles that are like, keep the blood and mortal combat. And they did that every month for like fucking 12 years. And so as I'm going through like collecting these letters, I'm like, sure, I guess back

then there would be 30 days between each of them and I'm reading them all in one night. So it just looks like a bunch of maniacs. And so I'm like, what did these children grow up to become? If all they cared about when they were young was like championing video game blood. So I looked up every single one of them and they were so easy to find because the internet is amazing because stalking is so fucking easy now. Yes, stalking rules. I had a great time stalking and I found most of them are like, they're in LinkedIn.

They're all like sales engineers at like grocery stores. They all like pad their resume with like important sounding words on like really mundane jobs, which I loved. I was having a lot of fun with that. But there was one letter that was very much like, I don't think we should have violence in video games. They should come back and like, you know, they should take it away from us. It's not safe.

And guess what that guy grew up to become? Serial killer. Yeah. I'm going to say murderer. Got to be the theme. It was sex offender. You guys were very close. Pretty close.

I swear to God, it was the only letter I found that was like that and the only adult I found that was like that. It was just so perfect. Like you just knew this sanctimonious little fuck is going to grow up to be a murderer and like, well, sure enough. Yeah. There you go. So parents, if your children love video game blood, they'll grow up to be fine.

Grocers, grocery salespeople, grocery sales engineers, whatever. But if they're like, mommy, please take my games away. This is violence. It's not good for anyone. Murderer. Oh, man. It's because they know it's triggering something dark that they don't want to feed. I feel so much better about my cousin's kids now that like the wrong wolf beating the crap

out of each other. And like, one time I came over and they were covered in marker and I was like, what, what is this? And they said, we have prison tattoos. Night fighting. So they're fine. They're going to grow up to be perfectly healthy. Oh yeah.

They'll be just fine. Brockway, do you have any projects you'd like to complain about? Yeah. Speaking of prison. I worked on an article about my favorite lounge singer. His name's Peter Lemon Jello. I love saying it. Everybody say Peter Lemon Jello.

Just try it. Peter Lemon Jello. Isn't that great? It's great. It's the best. That's not his real name. He changed it. That's his stage name.

His real name was Peter Lemon Jello. Spelled slightly differently. Like, I don't know. That's how this starts. And he was just a crazy narcissistic scumbag as you'd expect or, you know, demand a lounge singer to be. All the best ones must be. But he had this brilliant idea to, well, because nobody liked him, because nobody would give

him a chance and his star was going nowhere. Despite him being so certain that it wasn't him, that he was the most talented person in the world. He couldn't get a break, so he made a break and he somehow tricked a bunch of people into investing into like his career. Just in general, like they would get, they would get returns from his career, which was, which was weird. But then his plan, and this was 1976, his plan was to start a TV commercial.

And so you could only buy the album from the TV commercial. Like, like the, now that's what I call music or pure mood stuff. And yeah, I remember commercials for Inya. Yeah, she was on all of those. They were all on like beach vibes or whatever. Yeah. He started that. I would put Inya on a beach vibe.

He invented that method for this album called Love 76. He was the first person who put an album strictly for sale on the TV. And you can even see the template was like arranged for all of those people it looks and plays. So we owe Freedom Rock to him. Yeah, he's responsible for that. Lady, are you old enough to remember Freedom Rock? No, but I love the name.

I mean, we're up for a second. Exactly what he sounds like. Yeah. This dude's listening to music and some guy rolls up to him and he goes, Hey, is that Freedom Rock, man? And again, it's a term they invented for the commercial. And then the other guy goes, Yeah, man. And then the guy in the car says, Well, then turn it up, man.

And that played 600 times a day for my entire childhood. Was it just like, I'm assuming a compilation of rock songs? Like now that's what I saw. Like, like Vietnam music. It was like all fucking about. Freedom Rock. You knew exactly. It's a perfect name because you knew exactly what it was.

Yeah. He even invented that because he invented a genre that they called mood rock. So this is a whole new genre called mood rock. Like even like that part of the template he invented. And then of course he. I have two Emmys in a daytime mood rock. Easiest. It's a nothing.

It's a nothing. Your mood rocks. But that's it. Because I'm very positive usually. Chevy Chase did a skit about him. And the skit was that he called him Peter Lemon mood ring. And then he changed colors as he sang. It's the worst fucking skit I've ever heard.

Really bad. Like his skit. What an amazing source material and just fucking biffed it. Yeah. That's all you've got is like, Oh, the word mood. Changing colors like a mood ring. That's literally all I've got. I'm Chevy Chase.

I should not be. Here's my idea. We do a spoof of Star Wars called Star Oatmeal and we all eat oatmeal. Oh, Lemon Jello is like a better name too. It's funnier. Jello's a funny work. At least if it was something about Jello you'd be like, that sucks. But I see where you're coming from.

Yeah. But no, his brain couldn't even work on that. He just, he should not have been writing. But anyway, Peter Lemon Jello, like this didn't work. This thing didn't work. All of his investors lost tons of money and he lost his career and he went into real estate where he then turned to arson and he was kidnapped by major league baseball pitchers, like multiple as in plural.

What? His brother was like a professional bowler that hustled mobster and just like his whole life after this was just sliding madness into sliding madness. And it was, it's so great. It's my favorite lounge singer and yours and yours too now. Easily. Wow. This was a dark, all of us had like dark topics, I feel like.

Right. But they all started fun. Mine's about GamePro. That's true. But I did go into it knowing that they were going to be maniacs. Yeah, that makes it better. Yeah. This is the life we chose for ourselves, guys.

How can we complain? I'm not. I had so much fun. He was great. Terrible choices. Today's podcast is about the cause. Bill Cosby. Now, we did finish a long podcast series where Brockway found a murderer on.

Megan wants a millionaire. I think I could find this murderer. Yes. We're going to continue that tradition of finding people long after their crimes have been covered and prosecuted. And we're going to go back through some Bill Cosby books and see if we can spot any warning signs. The O.

It's the O, isn't it? So, I guess, yeah, we have a gigantic doc that we use for this site with our calendar. And I also keep a digital library of like every book and video I own. And in there, there's a section called derangement clusters where I have lots of books, some of them maybe labor dry, but from a super weird genre like cat massage or Christian clowns or knife fighting or solving a Rubik's cube or whatever. And Brockway saw that I had a Cosby collection. And I have two, actually.

I have his children's books and I have, I think, every adult book he wrote. And so today we're doing just as adult books, which are terrifying and in the context of what we know now, they're going to sound a lot like confessions. Fun podcast I picked for us. Well, it does start with a fun one. I have 1975's Bill Cosby's personal guide to tennis power. And I'm not being a dick when I say it's nothing more than instructions on how to be bad at tennis, like sarcastically incorrect sports tips.

Wow, just like dirty tennis. Yeah. What is up with that? And I want to bring up the point that comedy does not age well, but this is particularly bad. And after reading seven Bill Cosby books in a week, I kind of want to go on the record saying that he wasn't funny. He was too clever by half.

So much of his writing is like super green and did not age well, not because he's a serial rapist, but because it's just really bad. Like the things that he thought were funny in 1990 did not remain funny. Yeah, he was always an inexplicable one. It was like reverse Bob's Haggit sort of when you saw Bob's Haggit on Full House in America's Funniest Home Videos and you're like, why is this guy a thing? And then he turned out to be actually kind of funny in his career. You're like, oh, okay.

So they were just putting him in like crap roles. Bill Cosby every time you saw him, you were just, what? Why you? Why are you a thing? The only little Cosby stuff I knew of was when I was a kid, I listened to his album to the other Russell whom I slept with, which is man, a title that is not aged well. Wow. But I remember thinking it was very funny.

Everything's a warning. Yeah, yeah. Yes. But I was also 10. So like I haven't listened to it since then, but I did really like that comedy album. And then I remember, you know, when stuff started coming up out about him, I was like, oh, like that guy. Yeah, I do want to add the caveat that I do like his stand up.

And I think it holds up way better than his writing. His writing is just really, really weak. He's been tested and there's no performance to it. And of course he's Bill Cosby. He's a great performer. But I guess if you don't have to, then you don't. You don't have to. Yeah, I can't blame him for like crapping out a book about how to play tennis and probably

making like the 70s equivalent of a million dollars. Sure. Here's one. Don't hit the ball. You knocked that one out of the park. You nailed it. You should do this, Brockway. Yeah, all I got to do is be incredibly successful first and then I can start doing this.

I think we could write a sarcastically bad tennis tip book and it would be like a parody of this that maybe four people would get. Apparently there's a market for it. Yeah, or there was at least this is a genre. This is making fun of how people play tennis is a genre that I guess people really were into. Yeah, we should look out for our tennis book coming soon. Coming soon.

Tennis book. Fucking tennis. Untitled tennis. Help us reach our next goal. I did have something in the calendar called problematic tennis week that that was like an idea and I did have something picked out for each day that are very, very troubling and I don't think we'll ever get to it because obviously that's absurd, but we could. Kind of want to get to it.

We're going to have to now. I think people are going to want to hit your problematic tennis week. 14,000. It's our 14,000 goal. Problematic tennis week. So I want to start with Bill Cosby. I think this is the first book he wrote that was like a real book, not some tennis bullshit. In 1986, he wrote a book called Fatherhood and it's very much like dad jokes about how

kids are stupid and messy and gross and it's probably what most people pictured Bill Cosby being like in 2013 before like it became regular public knowledge that this was who he was. Yeah. So it's very much like, oh, these kids today, I tell you a type of shit like boy in my day, it was different. The whole book is that. Yeah. He was most famous for like not getting rap at that point.

Yes. He was he was very like sanctimonious when it came to especially the black community. We wouldn't have any problems. Right. And problematic in ways I can't really speak to as a white person. But like it's it's really bad. He was very judgmental and speaking from a place of like, you know, I have 50 million dollars.

Why can't you just be more like me? Kids growing up in a place with a completely different culture. You know what I mean? It's just it's super gross. Yeah. Tone deaf. Pretty tone deaf. So I'm going to read from chapter six.

She's got the whole world in her glands. Oh, that's that's that Cosby talk that Cosby comedy. I was talking about prepubescent and preposterous. Not long ago, my eight year old, who was the size of a well built flea, walked past me singing, give it to me all night long. So I called her over and nervously said, give you what all night long? I don't know. Why do you want it all night long?

Because it feels so good. Yeah, I don't like that at all. And that's the only clip I took from that book because the whole book is is very much like that. Like kids saying stuff. They clearly heard on the radio that they don't understand yet because they're just tiny children and him not giving her the context to understand it. just like, derp it, derp.

You take the kids and they talk about the pubes and you dip. New impression. New impression, everybody. The rest of the show will be entirely in God's me voice. So it was just him complaining about children doing very normal children things that all children do. Absolutely. Also, if you're trying to pick a lyric to show

how just hopeless and corrupt the children these days are, that could have come from like the 60s. That could have come from mainstream radio in the 60s. The Beatles could have written that. That's some Bill Haley and the Comets shit there, Bill Cosby. That's a 50s band. They sang Rock Around the Clock and a couple of suggestive songs. It doesn't matter.

The point is Bill Cosby was already very much out of touch by 1986. And his whole bit was that I don't understand. Sorry, I'll do the voice. I don't understand the kids today with the puzzles and the puzzles I will do. That's actually very good. Why would you pussy be so wet?

We found your first good impression. The very dry, the pussies in the puzzles. Well, let's not rush to calling it good. It's an impression. You knew who I was doing. Yeah, for sure, for sure. It enhanced the bit. It didn't sound like Dennis Miller, so.

You're right. Well, the rest of this I'll read as Dennis Miller, then, if that would make you feel better. As Cosby doing Dennis Miller. OK, I'm going to have to find that. As though he was mocking Dennis Miller. Just that's an Oingo Boingo. But Kent comes up to me and says the Oingo Boingo with the gadget.

Goo goo, baby. Oh, OK. That was a good one. God, this is good content. This is going to translate, for sure. I know. So one year later, Bill Cosby writes a book called Time Flies. And it is about getting older.

And mostly it's about how he's like too sleepy to have sex. And when he does, it's just fucking gross as shit. And so I would like to read you some very disgusting passages from this book. I was about to dive into a vat of debilatory when the growth finally stopped. And there, crowning it all, sat the pubic hair, rich and dark, until the awful day, 37 years later,

when I saw the first gray one. The pubic hair that had come to me as a boy was a sign of manhood. But what was the message of this first gray one? I knew it well, a two-part message for a man turning 50. My body no longer produced lean meat. And I should start to shower in the dark as more of this. Yeah, don't like how we put that.

And I should start to shower in the dark. As more of this lower gray appears, I have been wondering, would I be too vain if I started using Grecian formula in a place that only my wife and doctor ever see? Only his wife and doctor see it because most of the women who would normally see it are unconscious. No, God, I thought the same thing, but I didn't realize it.

Now I'm like, now I'm groucho Marx. All right, most of the ladies that see this guy's peers are unconscious. My wife, of course, might not learn about it for a while, because she sees the total me less than ever these days. Just as I no longer can go one-on-one in basketball the way I once did, I also like the stamina to go one-on-one in bed the way I did in my salad days.

In spite of the profound love I have for my wife, sex at my age has become exhausting, which leaves me yearning for a younger body or longing for a good nap. A man at my age comes home late from the office, has dinner, takes a shower, ignores a few bills, and finally makes it into bed. Discovering another person in that bed

and dimly aware that this person is a different sex, he starts to make his move. Not tonight, says his wife, and the man rolls over with a smile. Thank you very much, he silently says. Oh my God, it sounds like an alibi. Like, I can never do anything bad to a woman. I am too sleepy.

It's a disgusting book, and it's obviously, the darkness is creeping into my mind, just holding it in my hands. Like, what? What does, okay, lean meat. Yes. Yeah, the little grossnesses along the way. Yeah.

More than the larger implications that we know in hindsight. It's just that, the way he views bodies, like, you can always tell when they start talking about it, like, it's just flesh, it's just meat. Yeah, that was the big one. The young ones, the young ones are the lean meat. That was the big red light for you as Ryan.

I remember it was the way he talked about Megan's body and pieces. That's right. Yeah, anytime they talk about a body and it starts to break down into like, anything to not acknowledge the humanity of it, like, oh, there's something very wrong with you. Yes.

I wanted to talk about, like, the overworking of his words. Like, it's clear this is the third or fourth draft and he's really struggled to make everything as clever as possible, but he's also really indelicate. My God, I didn't entertain that. I did not entertain that this would have gone through multiple drafts and you kept all of that in. And I still find it indelicate, like,

he could have made the grain pubic hairs funny. Like, it feels like that's inherently a ludicrous thing to talk about and it just sort of feels like he's at the doctor discussing something very medically. He also says, when he sees his woman and it's time for sex, he says he yearns for a younger body and I'm like, I feel like your wife could take that in a way you don't mean it, you know what I mean?

Or maybe you do. Or maybe you do, right. Like, you picked these words very carefully and you landed on some troubling ones. Yeah, yeah, the idea of him editing that and being like, this is great. I'm so funny, people are gonna love this. Yeah, that's something I don't entertain as much

as that all of these things would hopefully have gone through multiple drafts and you've still published them. Yeah, and an editor who was like, yeah, I really like the part where you said lean meat. That's good. Let's leave that in. Yeah, you're not making lean meat anymore.

Little edit note, could this meat be lean? You just called it meat. Sure thing, signed the cause. That's good. Now, two years later, he wrote Love and Marriage and my copy is transcribed. It says, May 6th, 1989, to love, honor, and oi, vei for 23 years.

Love, Arnie. So this was once treasured by Arnie and his wife. And you know when they got rid of it, you know the day where it was sent to the youth bookstore. Yep, you know what happened then. So you don't have them tied where they learned about Cosby and got rid of the book. Yeah, well, Arnie snatched the book out.

I was assuming divorce. Yeah, yeah. Now, this book Love and Marriage is when you really start to see the warning signs because it feels like he went into this deciding to write a book sort of about his sexual conquests. But since most of his adult relationships were extramarital gropings of unconscious women,

it's like meaningless middle school crushes, like movie dates in high school and long conversations transcribed from memory of like two children breaking up. Like the whole first half of the book is just like, I once held hands with a girl and her name was Susan. And that's pretty much the whole Susan story.

And that'll be a chapter with just like- Right, that's like the last of his sexual maturity. That's when he reached the end of it. And then it's all just, this became too complicated. I've got a solution. Yeah, or like the point when he stopped thinking about women as like people, you know? It might have been around there.

Yeah. So, yeah, he was 52 when he wrote this one and he'd been married for 25 years. And obviously some of his greatest romantic triumphs at 52 were seeing a vagina, which is the entirety of chapter three. I'm not kidding. He pursues a woman hard because he heard she was loose

and he wanted, he wanted the, generally pubic man. He wanted that J-O-N-E-S, which is a slang that has fallen out of use, but I think it means sex. And so he pursues her and he comes to her front door and she lifts up her skirt for him. And then he chickens out and then told his friends

that he did it. And that's chapter three. I'm making it sound too funny. It's actually much grimmer and darker than that. So, I wanna just start reading some passages from this book. It's a very, very good book. Yeah, the way he described that is kind of like he was like ding dog and she just opened the door

and then lifted up her skirt and I was like. It's so exactly that. Oh, okay. I don't know how things worked in like the 50s. Like this happened in the doorway. It was very clear he was just, he hadn't even entered her house and she was just like, oh, hey, I'm glad you're here.

Let's do the J-O-N-E-S. Okay, so that story was made up then. Probably, yeah. And then, yeah, that's the other thing is that all the stories are obviously made up, but with like the cleverness of a 52-year-old comedian who's just so full of himself. And so, young Koss is very clever

and just always has these cute little word plays ready. And it's really frustrating to get through. Because there's elements of truth to some of them you think. But the rest of it is complete bullshit. And you're never sure what he thinks you're supposed to believe or what really happened. And anyway, it's a bad book. All these are bad books.

That's kind of a theme with him. Yeah. It's weird. The theme is that he's a real piece of shit. You can't believe Bill Cosby. Yes. Beneath my smile at Joyce Anderson was a body that had recently showered

for the physical part of the dream had been to awaken in a sticky situation and feel a profound desire to help your mother with the laundry by washing your sheets at once. So are you following along with this, these layers of cleverness? Mm-hmm. What a challenge this laundering can be for the boy

who has just awakened from an overnight arrival at puberty. I remember the morning I came downstairs all dressed for school at 6.30 carrying my pajamas and sheets. I should have been carrying my mattress too because the manhood had gone through to it. But I decided to have an accidental fire in the mattress later on.

As I reached the foot of the stairs, I ran into my father who graciously played along with my domestic nobility. Doing some laundry, Bill, he said. Yes, dad. I replied, mom has such heavy load. I'll stop doing that. What a good boy.

What a wonderful son. How many sons helped their mothers with the laundry even before they sit down to breakfast? The answer, of course, was every son who awakened as a sperm bank. So this continues for a while. Basically, it's concentrated shame that he feels about sex and clearly gives

enough details about his family that he didn't have to feel that. He could have said, dad, I wet the bed or had a wet dream or whatever happened. And they'd be like, well, you're our son and we love you and we'll help you clean this up. But no, he's like, I've got to hide this shameful, disgusting act from the people who love me the most

and who accept me at my worst. And so we're zeroing in on this murderer. Yeah, I think we're going to find this murderer. I'm putting him on the list. The fact that he called semen manhood is really disturbing to me. I don't like that choice. He was just running out of ways to not say it.

Yeah. He just really didn't want to say it. Like, are you writing this to be family-friendly? Because it already just by subject matter, you're not. You just written yourself into a corner and then you were used to say it. Yeah, his family-friendly ejaculation story probably wasn't going to sell very well if he said semen.

I jerked it onto the bed and made a big mess. And my mommy said, why did you jerk all the semen onto the mattress, guys? It's getting better. OK, this is from, thank you. Or you're just, your brain is adjusting to it. That might be it. I become 1% more cause with each page.

Oh, no. Page 22. How quaint were these cinematic images of sex that accompanied me into puberty, images as sensuous as little women. Today, even prepubescent children. Yeah, yeah. Today, even prepubescent children are watching anatomical lessons

on MTV, a channel that my father would have been arrested for watching in 1947. And my 12-year-old has already played both home and road games of Spin the Bottle. Yeah, home version of Spin the Bottle. His children are kissing each other through games of chance. I nervously hope that she hasn't played a game I just heard about, just heard about, called Cops and Robbers.

In this one, the boy playing it is a policeman whose mission is to search for an important document. And the most likely place for the document to be hidden is in a girl's blouse. Such a search and seizure lacks a certain tenderness. Shoving your hand down a girl's bra to dig out an imaginary document is not the most romantic approach. It is better to leave this playing field

and make your approach to one special girl on a more leisurely way. And this was how I tried to do it in my post-pubescent years in a way sometimes so leisurely that it seemed to take months or even years before I got a kiss. I hate this. Ah. Yeah.

So that's a real cosby. He just heard about this Cops and Robber game, which on the news, he was the guy that's like, the news says, there's this new troubling trend. And he's like, oh, like 100% believe that. We need to stop this. Yeah, this is like the kids are grabbing titties. It's like rainbow parties when that was a big everybody was

like, oh, everybody, the kids are all doing the rainbow parties. And no one was. That was completely made up. And this is basically the same thing, which always makes me wonder what pervy adult made up these weird sex games that teenagers are playing for the news. Right.

It's Bill Cosby. It was probably Bill Cosby. He probably made that up himself. This is where they're finding it. Reading Bill Cosby's book and going, well, Bill Cosby wouldn't lie to me outside of this context. I feel like the origin story of those is always like some horny person who

tries to get like intimacy, like put into some sort of a game form where they could actually get some. Like if you see, you see this every pride parade where it'll say like, oh, if you have this bandana, that means you're like in the anal play or whatever. You've ever seen those? It's like a rainbow party for adults. And it's obviously, you know, nonsense.

If you have a blue bandana, no one's going to run up to you on the street and say, I heard you like to get the inside of your ear lift because you're a bandana. Like that's probably unlikely. Just like if a girl has a green bracelet, that doesn't mean that. Oh, yeah.

I remember that one. That was a Degrassi episode that I liked, was if you wore certain bracelets, it was like you were willing to do certain sexual things. And then someone would come up and like snap your bracelet. And that meant you had to have like give them a blow job or whatever. It's so ridiculous if you've ever met a teenage girl.

They had like blow job bracelets on Degrassi. Yeah. Degrassi was very sexy in whatever I was watching. That were 2000s. Very nice. I guess my point is, I think that got started by some dude who wanted a blow job, but no, girls liked him. And so he's like, no, no, no, here's the thing is,

and that got, you know, someone at the local news heard that. Yeah. You're wearing white shoes. That's what that means. And then the girls just like, yeah, OK, that makes sense. I didn't mean to wear the white shoes, but because you said it, that's a thing that makes sense to me, I guess.

This is fun. It was on the news game. Yeah. My mom's really been worried I would do this. So this is from page 60. I'm not really sure what it is. I think the theme of this is that women are definitely sex objects, but maybe less than that.

So night after night, year after year, I looked for a girl with whom I could go steady. From time to time on a Friday or Saturday night, I left bus inspecting to look for her at a party, which was usually held in somebody's basement. I'm not reading that wrong. There are occasional typos in these books. In one corner of the room, there was always a phonograph.

And in the center of the room, there was a punch bowl, peanuts, and pink and white mints that tasted like something that should have been unclogging a drain. The air was so full of cigarette smoke that after a while, the hostess's parents went outside so they can continue breathing, leaving us young lovers to grope for each other

with watery eyes to the strains of crying in the chapel. It was in those basements that I tried to squeeze girls as if they were melons to see which ones might be ripe for going steady with me. Sometimes I managed to lure one of them outside to sit with me in a car for a little kissing and rubbing. Most of the other girls I managed to lure away from the crowd just sat there like statues,

hoping that this moment would pass and they could get on with their lives. For these statuesque girls, every boy knew precisely the physical therapy that was needed, the quintessential behavior modifier. You know what she needs, one of us would say. Absolutely, another would reply, it would straighten her out. Gulp.

Wow. Yeah, that's not even like an implication anymore. Yeah. He used the word. This is where he just started writing confessions because like the police were not catching up to him enough and he really wanted to be caught. He was just like, okay, listen, you're not solving my riddles

that I've left laced throughout the Cosby show. So I'll dumb it down for you. He said lure twice. Oh yeah. Luring was. Yeah, lure them out and like talked multiple times about how they hate it. Yeah, they definitely hate it.

They hate his intentions, but he still does it. Yeah, he knows what they want. He knows how to fix this, this attitude problem. It's pleasing women like melons. Like it's a lot of again, making women into objects. Right, and he thought that was so clever that he's checking to see if they're ripe, but not for like eating for like this metaphor

that I'm making. Like he's just, he'll stretch these shitty metaphors out way past the point where there's a chance of comedy. It's just like his own cleverness just wallowing in it. Like, oh, can you believe how far I can stretch this metaphor? And it still sort of makes sense. Yeah, I can't believe. What's the metaphor about?

Groping teenage girls. Luring them away and then groping. Let's go back to that. Separating them from what they heard, like cattle. So those are the only earmarked pages I had from Love and Marriage. The second half of the book really is about like his marriage and just sort of like uninteresting stories

about like what marriage is like. Like wisdom you would get from literally anyone who's been married for six weeks or has met a married couple. Like any child who grew up with parents is capable of writing this book is my point. So two years later after that, he wrote a book called Childhood.

I would just like to read you the front book jacket. These are the words used to advertise this book. Childhood is Bill Cosby country. In this entertaining and endearing book which ranges from the warmly to the wildly funny, Cosby holds forth with the most marvelous stories he has ever told about his childhood. Here are tales you'll never forget

including his heroic quest for Spanish fly. Man, nobody's going to Bill Cosby country now. Yeah, again, they're just like close the borders. It's a heroic quest for Spanish fly. That's how you stretch a metaphor cause. He found it. If you were inviting people to Cosby country now, oof, they would say they would not be interested.

Oh my God. So that's a lot of childhood stories that I mentioned this early. They're probably made up, but I'm not sure we're supposed to know that and I'll give you a good example of this. This is about the time the teacher caught him looking at his, looking at tits in National Geographic.

William said a stern voice from the front of the room. What are you reading instead of your book? Oh, National Geography, Miss Baker. I brightly replied, holding up the magazine. Good for you. And what particular part of the National Geographic? You got the name almost right. Oh, sorry, he said National Geography earlier.

I fucked up his joke. He almost got the name right. Has you interested today? Africa, I said uneasily. Especially African jugs, whispered Junior. Jugs, said Miss Baker. You like pottery, William? Yeah, pots and pans too.

The class laughed and Miss Baker frowned. There is no need to make fun of a simple mistake, she said. Simple mistake, of course, also described Junior, who had put me in this spot. William, pans aren't pottery. However, because of the extra reading that you've been resourceful enough to do, you may erase the blackboard

and clean the erasers for class tomorrow. Thank you, Miss Baker, to do so. I said, Jesus, said Junior, you look at some jugs and you get the blackboard job. I already seen enough of them to make me principal. So, did they, I hope they faithfully transcribed the zipped asoptizu. Yes, that was in there.

It had a little note that says, if reading this aloud, insert the zipped asoptizu here. There's four chapters on how to properly do the sound. So this, Dory is either, if there's any element of truth, he got caught looking at more or less pornography in his school room. I mean, National Geographic is not pornography, but he was using it for the purpose of pornography.

And his teacher didn't know what they were talking about when they said African jugs. In National Geographic, a magazine, I think, immediately evokes topless African ladies, right? Like immediately. That was a stale joke by the time he wrote that. 100%, yeah, that's a 1960s joke. And so, then he gets in trouble

for something that she, so I'm just saying like, none of this dialogue happened. But if any of these events are true, he got caught reading porn in class and got in trouble. Like that's the tale he's telling. I can't believe he was ever considered like a good, like father figure, family friendly comedian. Like Bob Saget's stuff was so crazy

because it was so opposite of what you would expect from him like on a show. And that was always a big deal with people. But I never heard anything like that about Cosby. It was like he was constantly having that dad vibe on his show and off his show, I thought. To be fair, I am cherry picking a little. A lot of these books are just real dry stories.

I was trying to find the ones that like hinted at his dark future. But yeah, there is a lot of sort of frank discussion of like, you know, teenage puberty and pursuit of Poon Tang and the things that, you know, you probably, he would scold someone else for absolutely. Yeah. Right though, the warning signs.

The warning signs, yes. So I'm gonna skip here to, I have 158 year marked. So there's a lot of back in the day, we were so innocent. Talk, that's, most of this book is made up by like kids today, they don't understand, which again, is it's a strange message from a serial rapist. Looking back now, I can see how lucky I was to have grown up in a time before childhood was repealed,

before 10 year olds were involved in minor league lust. Childhood romance used to be so tender and innocent in the days before dolls were anatomically correct. In those days, even the kids weren't anatomically correct. Junior Barnes once told me it was possible for a man to be trapped in a woman and not be able to get out. No kidding, I said, frightened by the thought

of becoming a permanent part of my first love. Junior, you know anybody who ever got trapped in there? Guys don't talk about it because they're ashamed of having to be rescued, he said. But it happens all the time and not just in the circus. You ever done it? I guess so. What do you mean you guess so?

I'm pretty sure I've done it, but I can't remember exactly. That happens sometimes when you're handling lots of women. I think I've done it too, said Fat Albert. Wait, wait, Fat Albert? Fat Albert's a real person from Bill Cosby's childhood. There's a guy he calls Fat Albert, who I assume is- I did not know that. I didn't either.

But I thought he did a lot. It's based on a real person. So he made at least a large portion of his career off of just another actual guy. Yeah, I guess. Maybe he sent him residual checks, I don't know. Off of calling his friend Fat publicly was like a huge part of his career.

Man, he was a really good guy before everything that happened. Could you imagine if your childhood bully went on to use your fucking name and the insult he used against you to start like a world-famous children's cartoon and become like a gajillionaire? Oh, my God. And everybody loved it and thought he was just a great character.

There's a show on Cartoon Network called Ugly Lydia with the weird hair, and I have to watch it every week. Everybody loves it. Yeah, and the creator is everywhere. And it's part of this, but I don't know. That's how she's credited. That would be so fucking awesome. I wish that happened to me.

I'm sure I'd be very healthy and well-adjusted. And I would love the show, Ugly Lydia. Well, you're not going to love this. This is chapter 10, or maybe it's a Spanish fleet. I'm just going to start reading the entire chapter, and you just stop me when you had enough. That party at Eddie's now seems to have been my last moment of innocence, a quality that children

used to have before they began going directly from pablum to the pill. By the following year, god, that's fucking grown inducing cleverness, by the following year, I not only knew how to dance and talk all at once, but my friends and I were in hot pursuit of Spanish fly, which wasn't something that buzzed in Barcelona. Again, gross, but that fucking cleverness is twice as gross.

I'm saying he offends you more as a comedian than as a criminal. By the time that I was 13, I understood sex. But I was still too short and thin to expect that any girl, no matter how much she liked me, would ever surrender to me anything more than her rotating shoulder blades. And then one morning, junior Barnes told us

about Spanish fly, an aphrodisiac so potent that it could have made Lena Horne surrender to Fat Albert. Oh, god. OK. Surrender. Maybe. Maybe we're. That's twice.

That's twice that he's worded it as surrender. Uh-huh. You feed this stuff to a girl and she just goes crazy for you, he said. Does she got to be Spanish? Said Eddie. I don't think so, said junior. She just got to be a girl.

How do you feed it to her? I asked him in a sandwich or something. You got to slip it to her when she thinks she's drinking something else. Oh, yeah. I was at football. Oh, god. I knew what this was going to be.

And I still did not expect it. You got to slip it to words. Yeah, it goes on for 10 more pages, that chapter. They actually do find sailors that sell them something. And they give the sailors all their pocket money, like $9 and $0.16 or whatever. And they give the children a packet of something that they claim is Spanish fly.

And they're like, don't give them too much. Or they'll use it on everybody. And so then they go and they execute this plan. They make cookies out of the spanish. What they believe is a date rape drug. They make cookies, and they feed them to girls at a party. But the girl they really want to date rape, I'm trying to get the nicest way I can put it,

she won't eat the cookie because she doesn't like ginger. And then everyone else eats the cookies, but nothing happens. And they wait and wait and wait. And they never get a chance to have non-consensual sex with these classmates. And then one of their mothers eats the cookie and says, wow, these really taste like cornstarch.

And so adult Bill Cosby thinks that he got grifted by sailors who sold him a packet of cornstarch. But the intent was, of course, there to. Yeah, that's the Bill Cosby book. That was a fun Bill Cosby book about his childhood. It's called Childhood. And he was like, how did they read that in court? As evidence, we'd like to enter just him, your career,

I guess, that's what you call it. Read you a chapter from his book. So that book really happened. And you might have seen after the allegations became very public, there was that clip from the Cosby show where he put some sort of a Spanish fly device in his barbecue sauce and his family got really horny. Did you see that episode of the Cosby show?

Oh my god, no. Yeah, that's a real thing that happened. I don't remember. I'm sure I saw it because I watched all of it, but I probably blocked that one out, I guess. In a sort of family way, like they all sort of pair off with their sex partners and sort of snuggle. Like it's not like they all went to different rooms

or had the children have sex or anything, but it's very gross, especially with the allegations. Yeah. Yeah, family first basetimes still suck. Family first basetimes. We gotta cut that. Well, Cosby had spin the bottle, home and abroad, like the home version and the travel version.

Recurring themes. His children played spin the bottle that's in a book. I don't like it, but he wrote it. And they still didn't catch him. We still didn't catch him. We still didn't catch him. There's so much to be said for like time changing because it changes quicker and quicker

and it rightfully should, but this is not that. Yeah. Right, this should have been dark and disturbing then. It's in the book jacket. It's like the heroic quest for Spanish fly. Like it was a fun, cute thing for a child to go searching for date rape drugs. In what, like the 50s or 60s or whatever he was a kid,

but these books are being published like when I was a kid. I'm trying to think back like, was that a thing? Was there a lot of stuff about like innocent allusions to sexual assaults? A love potion thing, I don't know. Like there were, you know, like a love potion number nine, I forget. Yeah, that's as close as I remember.

Tate Donovan, great movie. And like still gross, but at least it was like hidden behind some sort of fantasy science fiction device. Yeah. It wasn't for the kids to actually try. Yeah, like the point was usually you shouldn't use the love potion, you know, that it always ended with the character being like,

oh, I wish I hadn't done that. There was a more message. I wonder how naive I'm being, cause like I remember going to a magic shop and seeing Spanish fly and it was just like a fly with a little hat on, like that was the joke. I thought that's what it was. I've never heard of it.

I feel like it was within the parameters of like, I don't know, decency is not the right word, but within the rules. Like I think you'd know, like if you hit a woman over the head and knocked her unconscious, like that, no, but like if you could give her something that just made her very like horny, then that's fair game. Yeah.

I feel like that. Because we thought so. I mean, obviously that product doesn't really exist and thank God for that. But like, I feel like if it did, it would sort of be fair play in the 90s when this book was written. I think there's stuff that was meant to emulate

that kind of thing that like horny goat weed, I feel like I've heard of, is like supposed to be an aphrodisiac or something. Okay. Like. I mean, yeah, an aphrodisiac, but that's something you're supposed to like, take yourself.

Sure. It's the, you see, the problem I have, I feel like I'm lapsing into cosplay. You see the problem I have. The kids today with the Spanish. The problem I have is with the slipping. Yeah. Yes.

That is the. That's the. The functional mechanic here. In high school, every now and then people get their hands on Everclear, which if you put it in like punch, you could like make the punch deceptively strong. Yeah.

And I remember thinking this is really gross because I know exactly what the implication is. Like you're trying to get like inexperienced girls drunk so they lose their judgment. And again, like, I think if we pull this thread long enough, we will get to a point where it's like. Wait, that's what that was for?

I thought it was just. Because I only used it to make me get so drunk I lost my judgment. Yes. Like once you start pulling on this thread, it's like, well, we do have liquor and that makes people make poor decisions. And then you're like, yes, like maybe,

maybe all of this is bad. And like the root is not in the drugs we give each other, but the intent that some of these wicked men have. But. It's in the slipping. The drugs. The zipping and the zipping. But I do remember when I was a kid,

the comic books would have like ads for these little toys you could get. And there would be like hypnosis books and hypnotic goggles. And there would always be a bikini girl just drawn on the clip art. Yeah. As if like, obviously,

obviously the first thing you're gonna do with your hypnosis is rape. Like we all know what you're doing with this. Or like X-ray sex. And I remember thinking that was gross. So as we're seeing through this. Yes, I remember thinking it was gross, but not until like I was really old.

Like at 12, I was like, that would be really cool if I had hypnotic glasses that could just make any woman sleep with me. Like that, that made sense to a child. So. Yeah, but then you don't, I'm just gonna see where the way he talks about it. Yeah.

Yes. Yeah, you can see the way he talks about it. That's like where his understanding of sex stopped. Was like, I was an incredibly horny child with no concept of right and wrong. And isn't that how it should be, everybody? Don't we long for those days? Worthless, a good old days.

Let's keep it like that. In 2007, he wrote a book called Come On, People. Or he's getting fed up that they're not catching it. It's with Alvin F. Poisson M.D. who did the foreword for all of his books. I have a feeling he's maybe ghost write some of these books too. And it is just full cranky black grandpa.

Like he's fucking telling the kids to pull up their pants and stop with the rap. And he's been complaining about the moral decline of civilization in print for over 20 years at this point. And of course, the whole time, sexually assaulting innocent unconscious women. So- Did he ever write for, did he ever write to GamePro?

I did not see any letters from Bill Cosby. Did you try William? Dear GamePro, I'm looking for some Spanish play. Could you give me Bill Cosby's address? So I did not pull any passages from this book because it is really just a condemnation of modern black culture. And it made me really uncomfortable.

And I started reading like press about the book. And it was very much when it came out, people were saying this like, dude, Bill Cosby, you don't fucking understand this at all. This is bad for the black community. This is bad for everybody. So- This is bad as a person.

This is just like, you know what, this is bad. This is bad, Bill Cosby, bad job. And the final book I wanna talk about is called Cosby His Life and Times by Mark Whitaker. And this is a biography, not an autobiography. And it very, very much does not mention any of the allegations, despite this being published in 2014,

the same year Hannibal Burris did the act that went viral where he was just like, Bill Cosby's a rapist. And everyone's like, oh yeah, he is, isn't he? And like- And he did that act because like, it had been floating around forever and just wouldn't catch. It wouldn't like, it wouldn't catch,

but everybody kind of knew. Yeah. Well, a guy had to say it. Cause, you know, when women say it, it doesn't count. But when a guy goes on stage and says it, then we're like, oh, this is a problem. Yeah. Hannibal Burret, oh.

I think that Woody Allen documentary that just came out did a good job of like analyzing this phenomenon where like, you like somebody's work and they're sort of a part of your life and part of everyone's life. And like, it's such a house of cards that if you say like, oh, that guy's a horrible sex criminal,

like suddenly you're bad for liking his movies. And so it's just, it's so much easier to say like, oh, he probably didn't do that. People lie all the time. And I'm just gonna assume these 70 women are all lying. They're all throwing their lives away just for no good reason. Yeah.

That's just things women do. Women just make up these stories because they want their lives destroyed. Because it's fun. It's fun for them. It's fun to have everyone talk about you as a sexual assault victim. It's like a slip and slide.

Yeah. That's exactly what it is. I feel like someone with Cosby who was just so ubiquitous. Like he was, like when I was a kid, he was on Captain Kangaroo with his Bill Cosby picture pages. He had a fat Albert.

He was on the Cosby show at night. He was probably doing standup and interviews. He was just everywhere. And he was kind of a symbol of like family. And not just that, not to get racial with it, but also like sort of a symbol of how like civil rights had gotten to this certain point where like just a prime time show

could be about a black family. And that was not a big deal. Like we're all one people. And Bill Cosby like is a symbol of that. Yeah. He was kind of the first like, but we had a black president. So there's no more racism. Like, but the Cosby's on TV.

So there's no more racism. Yeah. We're not racist. Look, and grandpa, how many times do we have to have this discussion? Yeah. Look, Bill Cosby, grandpa. So the author of this book admitted on Twitter that he probably should have looked at the charges and maybe mentioned it.

It's a thick book. This thing is like eight pounds. And both stance. I probably may be probably should have. Yeah. And it never went to paperback because like between the time it was published in hardback and the time it was going to go to paperback, all these charges came out and everyone's like,

dude, this book is fucking garbage. It doesn't even talk about this important thing. And there was also talk of releasing it with the allegations added, like the author going in and doing, adding like a chapter to it. I'm like, oh, by the way. Oh my God, what a terrible ending to a book.

You're like reading. It's going to make you like obviously the hero of the book. And then you get to the last chapter and it's like, um. That's a log. So normally when a book like this goes out of print and has any at all ironic value, the price skyrockets on Amazon. Like I have some of my favorite self-defense books

or sex books or satanic panic books are like four figures on Amazon. Like I'm sitting on a gold mine. This book, which is out of print about like a world famous sex criminal is $1.54 on Amazon. Like still no one has any interest in owning this book. It's also because they made so many of them.

They might have overbought. Yeah, Bill Cosby, celebrity name will just, will make, you know, 700,000 of these. And no, no, I shouldn't have had kids. I shouldn't have bought a boat. Well, and I think probably a lot of people would be afraid to tackle that for comedy purposes. But. Yes.

But we're doing it. And I think we're nailing it. And I think we're nailing it. It is not been a great idea. Yeah. And speaking of very tenuous comedic premises, this will not be funny, but it's important I mention it. There's a story in this book

about Cosby's own daughter, Erin, who was sexually assaulted by Mike Tyson. And this was years before Mike Tyson's actual convictions for sex crimes. And Bill Cosby with his own daughter was the victim, went to the perpetrator of this crime and he said, Mike Tyson, you must go to therapy or I'm going to press charges against you.

And then what Mike Tyson did is stop doing that. He said, I'm not gonna go to therapy anymore, Bill Cosby. And Bill Cosby's reaction was, okay, okay, whatever. So that's how seriously Bill Cosby took this crime when it was perpetrated against the people closest in his life. And then of course years later, Mike Tyson went on to do the actual crime.

He, Bill Cosby told him to go to therapy to prevent. So all I'm saying is that maybe if Bill Cosby cared more about female bodies and the decisions women make with them, he could have prevented Mike Tyson from happening. All I'm saying is that- That's so terrible. I mean, well, that really proves- Bill Cosby, he could have also prevented Bill Cosby.

Well, yeah, he could have prevented that pretty easily too. That's true. But it really does underscore that he just didn't, doesn't think of even the women that are related to him as like people. Right. Like you- Right, again, and he put that in his book.

So once again, he was trying to warn everybody. He was like, see, this is the shit I do. This is, why is nobody stopping me? Why should be under arrest? Like, yeah, I kind of assumed to be- It's not even a challenge anymore. I thought he'd be like one of those guys that kind of has two separate categories for women

where it's like, these women aren't real people. They're the women I want to have sex with. These women are real women. They're my family and that's why I care about them. But no. Yeah, like even Nazis had families, right? Like everyone has a group of people where they're nice to them and they care about them and love them.

Like Bill Cosby doesn't even have that. This person doesn't care about even the women closest to him. I think that's a good point, but he just doesn't at any stage of his life. Yeah, that's really insane to me. Like I knew he was a psychopath, but then really underscores it, that story. I've never heard that before

that Mike Tyson assaulted his daughter. And I wonder if he told him to go to therapy or if he just told him to go to therapy and like what happened to her after that? I skimmed about 40 pages after that for her name and like never saw her mentioned again. Like I feel like that was like her appearance in the biography was like.

That's what she's done to warrant book time. No, it's just super sad. I would be interested in that. Whoever interviewed the guy from Gossip Girl and said like, hey, what's the shittiest project you've worked on? I want them to interview Aaron Cosby and say like, hey, how happy are you

that your dad's in prison for the shit he did not give a fuck when it happened to you. Was that the last book? That was the last Cosby book, yes. All right, I'm ready to make my guess as to who the criminal was here. Oh, I think you're gonna get this. Okay, let's hear it.

I'm excited. Let's hear it. Can you do an impersonation of him? Is it the Bill Cosby? That was at least 1.2 times better than mine. That was really good. I'm so glad I'm getting out of this without doing a Bill Cosby impression.

No, you're not, not anymore. Oh, no, I am. The whole... Oh, okay, I'm good. The bonus podcast will just be a Cosby off between the three of us and winner takes all. So Lydia, I'd like to thank you for being on the show with a dude with your silly hair.

Thank you. They don't think your bully was right. I think you're quite lovely. Lydia. So Lydia, I think we're gonna call this a podcast. We changed a lot of lives. We solved a lot of crimes. Is there anything you'd like to plug before we go?

Yeah, thanks for asking. I wrote a story for the Trailer Park Boys comic anthology that I'm very excited about and it's gonna be coming out. Congratulations on that, by the way. That's fantastic. Thank you so much. Yeah, I actually wrote stories in issue one and issue two

and issue one is coming out in July. So look for that pre-order. What about issue two? Do you know that one yet? No, they haven't told me that one yet. I'm assuming August. But I know that the pre-order for the, they had like a preview book sold out already

and so yeah, now they're just doing issue one. Can't buy the pre-order anymore. Was this the first writing you've done for like comic book style? It is, yeah. It was the very first comic writing I've ever done. I really enjoyed it. So if anyone else wants to hire me to write more comics,

I totally will. And were you happy with the art? Like, did they do their own thing? Did they nail your vision? They did, yeah. And mine is a little more, I think, cartoony than the rest of it, which really fits my writing style well

and the guy that Renzo Podesta, who drew it, has done a lot of cool stuff before. I think he wrote for the Star Wars comic book and he's really talented. He did it so fast. He was sending me the lines and everything and then the, you know, when they draw it and then the ink it and everything.

And it was like so cool at every stage to see the little things that they added. I was really neat. Well, I'll pick up a copy for sure. Thank you. And thank you for being here and for your contributions to our wonderful website. Oh, it's my favorite thing to write.

I think you're great. I'm not gonna do it in a Cosby Voice. Oh, thank you so much. I appreciate that. Do it in a Cosby Voice. Lydia, you're the number one tip-top of rules is who was I will do. 1,900, Frankfurt.

1,900, Frankfurt. Our podcast is coming out. And with Maximilian, ciao. Dark Frankfurt podcast. Correct. Yeah. The craft is not trapped, it's not without. Send it to the doggy.

Four hours. Come on, you're the number one tip-top. 1,900. 1,900, Frankfurt. 1,900, yeah. 1,900, Frankfurt. 1,900. 1,900, Frankfurt.

I'm gonna do it, do it, do it, do it. Yeah, 9,000. 1,900 Hot Dog wages war with the help of an elite fighting squad. On demolitions, it's three-finger Louis. Adam Ruth, Adrian H, Aidan Moet, Alpha Sciences Jabo, Armando Navar, Benjamin Sirannon, Brandon Garlock,

Breanne Whitney, Chase McPherson, Children of the Meat Millie, Dan Bush, the artist formerly known as Devin, David Fornafine Costello, Dr. Awkward, Eric Spalding, Haraka, Jaber Al-Aidan, Jamie Gordon, Jeremy Neal, John, John McCammon, Josh Fabian and Josh S, Ken Paisley, Lyman, Matt Cortez, Matt Riley,

Michael Rader, Mike Stiles, Mojoo, Neil Bailey, Neil Schaefer, Nick Ralston, Nick H, Paulie Poiseuille, Ria, Rich Joslin, Timi Lehi, Toasty God, Yossarian, Zachary Evans, and Zadar Fan. On communications, intelligence, tactical, the vehicle pool, karate research, it's Patrick Herbst, who has just requested

a transfer to demolitions.