The Dogg Zzone by 1900HOTDOG - Dogg Zzone 9000 - Episode 269, Deathrow Part 2 with Rusty Shackles

Episode Date: March 18, 2026

Brockway and Seanbaby drag Rusty Shackles back to the Blue Comet offices to talk about Deathrow Issue #2, where everything turns into jetcycles and Detective Hank Blood can't do a god damn thing right. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Robert is going to jail because you didn't buy his book. But it's not too late to help him win some creature comforts in prison. Every copy goes toward the commissary fund! https://linktr.ee/killyourimaginaryfriendd

Welcome to the Dog Zone 9,000, the official podcast of 1,900 Hot Dog America's Final Comedy website. I'm Robert Brockway, and I'm an epic story about love, revenge, and dinosaurs that takes place in the world of, nope, sorry, I just got word that I've been cancelled. I was so young. I was on issue number two. I had the whole world in front of me. Luckily, with me is the exciting new Sean Baby, a thrilling tale of cyber satanism in the city of Darkslin. and Sean Baby has been can't

God damn it Oh that showed so much promise So much promise so young And our guest today I'm getting word We don't actually have a guest today Rusty Shackles has been cancelled On issue number zero

There has never been Technically there has not been a Rusty Shackles On his way to the idea He was cancelled Something about vampires, nope cancelled Hi Rusty, thanks for joining us again. I can't believe you showed up.

I mean, how can I not come back and talk about death row? It's the sensational character find of 1993. So, yeah, we're talking about the next death row before we do that. You've got a game to plug. Yeah, yeah. Hopefully Sean's throwing me some more money on it. But it's a era's wrestling. The mobile game for management simulation of your wrestling,

and it's got all these cool little cartoons I drew. People seem to be really enjoyed it. Some of the post-launch jitters are past us now. Yeah, it's been a good time. So it's eras of wrestling if you like having little men in underwear fight on your phone. And that I drew, not somebody else drew. This is the one that is. It is legitimately one of my favorite games to look at, like, among all time.

Thank you. It makes me so happy scrolling through seeing all your art. it's perfect. Thank you, man. I really appreciate that. Being propped up economically, exclusively by Sean at this point. I think the last update they said,

like, your wrestlers like, because at a certain point you play a game like that and you're like, what am I doing? And then like you added an update. So now when you put the wrestlers into the show,

they have a chance of like getting better. I'm like, well, that's all my fucking video game brain needed. Keep it going. Keep it going. Keep the money. Give me them points. Yeah, I played it. It's great. I love your, I love your macho men stand-in art.

I mean, he's got this little, like, what do you call the graduation camp? Yeah, the graduation cap. There's a word for that I'm supposed to know. I thought that was a reference to his brother, Lanny Potho, who was the genius for a while in the WWE. And I don't know, did you verify that or is that just my... I think that's the idea. So some of these characters were in their existing property called 80s, meaning of wrestling returns. Oh, right. And I came in, like, halfway through that, and I started doing some of the newer characters.

So some of its, some characters were existing in the game that I had drawn that we just carried over to this one. But that was one of their original characters I have redrawn. But yeah, I would say he's a combo potho. He's both Potho brothers in one, in my, in my opinion. Combo Pafo should have been his name. Yeah. Combo Pafo. So I've just proved that I've played your game, Rusty.

Would you like to prove that you've read my book? You know what? Actually, just this afternoon, Robert, I was actually telling my wife about your book. Because she was talking about how she's really behind our reading. She's really disappointed. She hasn't read a good book in a while. And I was like, hey, you know who actually has a good book I've heard about? Robert Brockway. Robert, why you go ahead and tell people about it if you want to? Right. This is a good spot. I'm setting you up. Right, right. You're evading that completely to set me up. First, Sean, would you like to plug something? Oh yeah, if you listen to this and don't go to our website, that's crazy because our website is much better.

We take a lot of time and think about the jokes before we say them. And it's at 1,900 hotdog.com, and we're supported entirely by Patreon. Patreon.com slash 1,900 hotdog. That's the plug. It's very funny. We have a lot of fantastic writers. All the writers left. Anyone who still writes funny articles, they work for us now.

We did it. We've collected them all. We got them all. Also, yeah, try out the main site. If you haven't been to the main site in a while, 1,900 hotdog.com, you support us on patreon.com slash 1,900 hotdog. But we don't like them. We don't like Patreon very much. I shouldn't say that out loud.

Go to, there are the sole method that funds us. You know, go to the main site. We like a lot. And our engineer, our Lockmaster Thomas, just did a really cool revamp on the search archives for podcasts, for articles. I think it's live now where like if you go to the main site and you're not logged in, it's just every free article we've ever done. So you can just read for free forever. Like an old school website with no ads. We essentially recreated that.

And there are, I believe, thousands of free articles at this point, if not been very close to that. In the high three figures at least. So much. You'll never. You'll never finish it. A disaster will befall you personally long. before you get through all of our free archives but if you want more

then you sign in and the rest of them show up but it's really cool to like refer if you want to refer somebody now just tell them go to 199 hot dog.com and they'll just see all the free stuff there's no like adding a tag or explaining that it's a Patreon they'll get it I of course am legally obligated

to promote my new book it's called I Will Kill Your Magidary Friend for $200 it's out now it's a it's in a store near you unless it's not. We are, we are selling copies on our fourth print run. Uh, and that doesn't even happen. Like, we can't even book time on that until April. Uh, so if your store doesn't have copies, uh, tell them to get fucked. They can't have any. Uh, no, no, just tell them to order

something. It'll, it'll be out eventually. Uh, things have turned around. We thought you were going to rot in jail. And now you're like, you can't even buy it if you want. Too many people bought my book. I am still rotting in jail, though. It just turns out it was entirely unnecessary And my own doing, which I'm so used to that. Like, I'm not really that surprise anymore, but the book is good.

The book is good. Like, if you go read the reviews, they'll be like, this is an amazing book about class warfare and predatory media and childhood mental illness. And, like, so many people are like, I've wept at the end of it. And I went to prison for not promoting it good enough.

We act all silly on here, but there's a lot of, like, sophisticated depth to your book. Yeah. I hope you don't want, I hope it's okay that I tell people that. That you can find a lot of themes and value in the book. People really,

really enjoy it, which is, it's a shame I went to prison for that. I could have just been saying it was really good the whole time, which is way easier than what I've been doing. No one would have believed it, though. Yeah. Prison's good, though.

I like prison. Good. I'm glad you're enjoying it. Yeah, they give me, there's a library, here? They gave me a job. I get a small apartment for free. Like, these are all things you can't find out there, like paid in the real world. And you get them for free here. So like, everything's coming up. This guy. Let me tell you. Home is nice here. I live with one of the nation's leading nine-year-olds and a two-year-old who I think is technically a crap monster. Just a maniac

tornado of a baby. Well, that sounds nice. I live with a murderer, but, you know, like, you got a, you got to lose bad things about, about every apartment. Hey, buy my book and support crab monsters. I think this is a plug for crab monsters. It's turning into.

Support your local crab monster. Okay. Today, I can't believe we're back to talk more about it. We thought we were going to get through the entire series of death row podcast. We did not. So today we are still talking about Blue Comet Press's comic book, Death Row by writer, editor, anchor, letterer, artist,

Maniac, Craig Stormon. He ran Blue Comet Press. And as far as I can tell, the only target and original target for Blue Comet Press was the ground. If, like, if they're a plane, If this metaphor, it's a plane, they never even put wheels on it. They were just like, no, this is going straight into the dirt. So. Yeah, this is part two of three, the final, obviously the final issue.

Yeah, in his own unhinged editorials, Craig Stormond would frequently attack everybody that ever worked for him, including himself. So this was originally announced to be, Death Row was originally announced to be a three-issue miniseries. he did only get to number two before canceling it. And I'd say that he kind of explored the same ideas more than once in the first issue. This could have been half an issue and said the same amount. But like, the thing is he would never run out of new ways to tell you about the one idea he had, which is usually an idea somebody else had. he just he's got some sort of he's bipolar or something because he's like as a writer as a creator he's like this is i'm going to do this epic thing we're going to cross over and there's going to be multiple series that spin off from this canceled issue too

sometimes sometimes canceled like i was joking earlier with rusty's intro sometimes canceled with no issues i can find no evidence that the spear which is another mini series advertised in this comic book as a continuing of the Death Row series. The Spear never seems to exist. I can't find anything that proves that existed. Because again, Death Road didn't even make it to three. So, like, how were you going to do the spin-off? I'm kind of surprised that none of them took off because there is, like, a relatable, like,

there's something about him where you can sort of see, like, how he has these ideas in his head that did not translate into whatever the fuck he made. But you can kind of see, like, in his imagination, what he was going for in a way that feels, like almost aspirational. You're like, he's really going for. This guy doesn't have much talent.

He doesn't know how to make work in the medium he's chosen. But like, yeah, you can, he's trying, he's trying a little. A little. You know what? I really like his very first series with Blue Comet, Life Brigade, which did, to be fair, make it to three issues, which is, you know, the flagship. I really like that. I found he did the art for that.

I found it very clumsy but very charming in a way that like a lot of his art as he quote unquote improved. He didn't do the art for this one. But like he did improve as an artist eventually and it just like lost a lot of that charm. If he had kept up, if he had just kept doing like stubbornly kept doing Life Brigade and with that same art style, it absolutely would have been a cult hit after like one of my friend long time comic. blogging friends actually had written up Life Force and was talking about the art group qualities of his art and I was like you know I can actually kind of see that in that particular one but here

this is just like psychotic scrylilies on top of the folder it's there's nowhere near that for sure yeah yeah well like I don't think I'm flipping through real quick I don't think he did the art for any of the death row ones I know in the first issue which we did last podcast

he would only make it about 10 pages with an artist before I assume he had to fire them and get a new artist. Because he's a maniacic. Yeah. So there were three different artists in a one single, not an anthology. It was one continuous story. And every 10 pages, the art would completely change for the worse, I will say.

He has this art style that I, that I like because, um, Rusty, I think every artist goes through this phase. Maybe you didn't. I mean, you're, you know, world class. But like, there's this moment where you're like, I'm going to fucking draw the coolest. This is it. This is my best drawing ever, right? And you sit down and you just go so delicately and try to like make it the best like arm you've ever drawn and the arm's just all fucked up and the wrong size.

And then the other arm's just completely wrong. And by the time you're done, you have one of the worst drawings you've ever done because you've like focused in and isolated. And that's how the entire comic was drawn. Like every guy is just wrong in in ways that felt so painstakingly deliberate. It's very valuable to have somebody in your life to tell you that you're not good. They're not there yet And like this

I don't know how he got this far I'm kind of dumb though Well Craig did have that person It was himself That's true Every now and then During his manic depressive swings He would tell himself he sucks

Yeah he could only make it Hopes three months Without just a complete collapse of confidence And we can prove that If you didn't listen to the last episode With Issue 1 Go do that It's one

podcast. What are you doing? You're not doing anything with your life. But if we have to do a refresher, Death Row number one was about a drug cartel cyborg hitman named X187 and he was created to take out Death Row who was also a drug cartel cyborg hitman. One idea twice. They're flawless 90s names. Just maximum 90s comic book names. Perfect. We're not done because neither of them are our heroes. Our hero, he's barely. in this comic. He didn't show up until halfway through the first issue, which there are only two issues, so a full quarter of the way through the series. His name is Detective Hank Blood, which is the best 90s name ever. That's pretty good, too. Yeah, really strong stuff. This is all getting

recapped in the comics. They have a little news lady explaining the first issue. And it's, I think both quite a lot, but not enough. And what I mean is like the story is, like you just explained, a bad cyborg fought another bad cyborg, and somewhere in the city is a cop with a cool name and a lady. And in so many ways, I'm explaining it too much. But if you did have any questions, this recap doesn't answer any of them. If anything, it only makes it more clear

this is a disaster written by a madman. Like, it's just like a lunatic trying to describe his own work when he hasn't really done anything, I guess. I don't know. I don't know how to, if I'm explaining it very well. He's like, my brain is not. 90s comic mush. I put that onto pages, and now I'm looking at those, and I don't know how to

fucking tell you what happened. That exposition, first page is also being delivered by our last main character, the sassy female reporter in love with Detective Hank Blood, who has just met him, and at least don't tit stuff with him. She took off her bra at the end of the last one. And I just like that during this full, well, three-quarter page exposition block here where they remind you of all of the characters and what they've done, he does not introduce the actual reporter speaking. She does not say her name. I was looking through trying to remember and like, no, she doesn't say who's talking. I can't know this for sure, but I think her name changed. I think she was Susan and then an Eve and then back to Susan or something.

Well, you'll have to read on a little bit farther in case somebody says her name out loud by accident, because she does not get... Like, it's supposed to start with her... Oh, Rusty stopped recording. Rusty left. Where's that Rusty? Come on, where's that Rusty? I mean, I wish she'd been recording locally, but I guess that's not the worst thing in the world. At least we can finish this.

I'm not even going to ask Jamie to edit around this. She's not going to want to cut this at all. This is our technical difficulties song. Throw the infographics. Throw the infographics. I wonder how much freedom this woman had to, like, rock, rock, rock. Like, is that written down?

Are they, did they say, have some fun with this? I don't think they even wrote down lyrics for it. I think she just got out there and did this, one take. She might be ad living. For now, my no game play. I don't think any of these are real games.

Orchestra hit that shit. I'm going to check my email and see what Rusty says. glad we got to listen to the rest of that song. Yeah, in a way it was a blessing. You have anything from? Nope, nothing in my email. All right. Let's keep it rolling.

Her living who gets found for the city, so she made herself a plan to get out of the city, find her roots in the jungle where a woman is a woman and a man. She was looking for her mate. She didn't find a man, so she found a symphony. She's an ape.

Lady. She's the mistress of the apes She's in cause they call his bread Wow, we made it through an ape lady too He's really having some trouble Man, he's Okay, I got an email here What is that?

Is that? There he goes. Oh, it said he kicked him out With no option to log back on. He should just use the original invite Just it's the same, tell him to click the same link I'm going to play my last novelty theme song I'm almost in a song

of almost every time I don't need to talk about this comic This is the rest of the podcast Oh, the greatest dance is singing every fourth line It's their tradition Burger Solo We just gotta finish it

Just hold that thought Perfect timing Yeah I have no idea Everything was fine am I in Yeah I believe I went like I reloaded it like you had said So I just restarted my computer real quick

There's been a lot of winds There's been a lot of windstorms in Ohio that were real rough today, but I haven't had any issues yet, so sorry about that. All right. Do you know where we left off? I think we were still on the first page talking about... Oh, God. I think you're right.

We were still on the first page. So the reporter just got done telling us everything that happened in the first issue, except for her name. Of course, we don't need to know that. And then Deathrow is being chewed out by his mob boss, because they need him to stop X187 and he's using classic 90s attitude telling his

my boss, no problemo. This is the coolest motherfucker. That's some shit Bill Paxston would say. He's got his feet on his desk. God, he just doesn't care. I will say to you, I think it's the very, like the first the top panel with that scene, that's actually pretty competent.

But I'm almost willing to bet that's like a trace from like a screen from Diehard. Oh shit. You're probably right. It's weirdly good. It's real close. I'm going to look up that map painting from Diehardt, too. If you look at the perspective on the fire engine there, I don't think it's quite a tracing.

But certainly, like, they would never think to block it like this if they weren't taking inspiration from... Yeah, you're probably right, Die Hard. It does look like that. And then we get... Next page we cut to later that night, and it's Death Row walking with some hoodlums that he's recruited. and I got to say this, the single worst arm I've ever seen drawing. This is what I'm talking about. This is a guy who sat down and said,

I'm going to draw the coolest arm. And then he just couldn't fucking bring himself to erase it. And that's... What are arms actually? How many shoulders does an arm have? This must drive you... This drawing must drive you fucking insane, Rusty. Like, everything's wrong.

It's, like, worse than Leifeld. Like, people's arms are like six inches long in some cases. Yeah, he's got like, the posture of a shrimp, too? He's kind of like curled over. He looks like when, like, G.I. Joe went extreme in the 90s and they had those real monstrous figures.

It's really, really off-putting. And below that, with his own much, much cooler gang is the X-187 hitman, his rival hitman. He has gotten a motorcycle since we last saw him, and so is all of his he's now part of a motorcycle gang,

which I think is, it's very funny to be a robo cop and be like, he's also in a motorcycle gang. One of them, it's traveling by jump. Like he, behind them, he's on his Harley jumping. Like, it's got to be 30 feet in the air. He's just in the air. That's kind of run.

One of them seems to be like a Baron Semetti. Like, he's got a, like, a cute guy. He's got like a Kiss Lady. He recruited a kick-ass gang. I just love that this guy is also a re-he's a death block. He's a reanimated zombie with a head of a Marine turned into a robocop drug killer. And then he's, and then Craig's someone saw that. Yeah, he said a couple more things.

Keep him coming He's got to be part of a motorcycle gang I love it Look the lovingly drawn motorcycle It's weird that the spots Yeah it's probably a trace That's definitely a trace And so then we cut back to the female reporter

Here's her name, Miss Martin Well it's she's married Oh hold on Mrs. Martin? Yeah She's married I guess Mrs. Martin Neither of that or Craig Stormann

Does not know the difference between Than because he has never talked to a woman So surely she must have gotten married Detective Hank Blood tonight because this is all kind of the next day I mean he took her bra off By God's law They must get married

And she's the worst reporter ever Because some random thug calls her And says meet me at midnight And she's like she says But who? What? Why? Well I better know This may be my big break I've been looking for Yep, she's getting out of the car already in the trap.

Like next panel, in the trap. Same word bubble, she says, Wish I'd found Hank, meaning between panels, we assume she tried to call Hank, like, hey, Hank, I just got invited to an obvious death trap. At the very least, a death trap.

Do you want to come with me and help? But no, that all took place off panel, which is very important later, because Hank is really upset with her for not waiting for him. Yes. Hank is elsewhere. He's on a stake out of the other gang who are called the death. Remember, the gangs are the cryptmen and the deathbloods, which are Craig Stormont's versions of the Bloods and the Crips in L.A., which I think is completely fucking adorable. Like, maybe they wouldn't even kill him for this. Like if they found out, I don't even know. I don't even know if they'd kill him for this. They'd just be like, oh, man, that's like, I got a death to him. I like it. I like it. Yeah. So the reporter gets out of the car and just walks out and there's just like six guys they're holding guns waiting for her.

They're not even pretending. Like it's, she just continues to walk towards the mob of man with guns. She leans out the window and yells, are you the ones that called me? Okay, so she's Sue. I thought she was Eve for a few panels in the last issue, but she's the Susan. I thought she was Liz. She was Eve. Also, I like that the Cholo in front is wearing a zigzag logo shirt, just don't you know.

Because it's like, you had to be kind of like coy with weed stuff back in the day. Right. It's a little wink, you know. Well, his headband is just a weed symbol. He's got like a Naruto weed headband. It's what. Yeah, he's got a nerdiest shit. A person could ever wear.

It signifies that he's a master of weed jutsu, of course. Ladies, if you're listening, could you imagine having some. sex with the guy who owns a weed Naruto headband. Like the most, the most ludicrous thing anyone has ever said. Completely absurd. If you met a woman at any point in your life with that headband on, you will die without fucking her. She still doesn't get them.

It's a trap. They're all just sitting there literally loading their guns for her. And they go, they're here. There's your story, lady. And then, of course, the rival gang, X-187. motorcycle gang rolls up. I should say rolls. They're all flying.

This is one of my favorite things when someone writing something doesn't give a shit how everyone gets there. Like in Desperado has one of my favorite scenes where everyone just kind of shows up at the same spot without any planning and has a gunfight. That's what's happening here. Like they call one lady to show up, but X-187 does not know where they are. He's just like, he shows up because it'd be annoying to explain why. I mean, I imagine he can find almost anybody on his on his flying.

motorcycle gang because they are they're not jumping they're all just flying motorcycles now and also they have lasers I think they had lasers before but like everyone not it's not it was special in the first one where like just the cyborgs seemed like they had lasers

now everybody does lasers are flying everywhere and uh and detective Hank Blood just gets home from a long shift where he plays the message and realizes that she just she basically said hey Hank heading off to a trap I think he handles it well.

And he very understand. Yeah, he very understandably goes, What? You crazy bitch! And then we just literally in the same panel, his car is peeling out at the bottom of the panel in a moment that I kind of liked. And he is a Ferrari. I think that's a Ferrari.

He's got an $80,000 sports car. He's a Ferrari. Yeah, he's corrupt. Yeah, he's very corrupt detective. I'm also kind of fascinated by the bottom right thug appears to be firing into a portal. like the muzzle flash is that's an interesting point

yeah the bullet line is the bullet trajectory is going into the muzzle flash so it looks like he's firing through a portal which is actually really cool yeah there was like another if he planned that he didn't plan anything but

if he was shooting someone in the back and they're like ah you missed and then it comes out of the portal and explodes their chest I think it just comes out of a portal in like an alternate dimension that has nothing to do with this one and gun somebody down

like maybe that's how Tupac died in our dimension what was this 93 the timeline might work out Craig Stormont also knows a lot about newscasting he has the reporter bringing her own camera so she's her own

she's her own because she well she can't she doesn't have time to call the camera man she's got to get to this trap the midnight trap it's like a Panavision one from like 1950 too it is the largest camera I think that like John Houston used that or something it's got actual reels

on it yeah It's got actual old-timey reels like they used in the 30s. Because that's what... He doesn't know what a camera is. Yeah. They were using VHS for a very long time at this point. It is such a pictureary camera. It's just a rectangle with some circles.

It's just like, come on, it's a camera. Someone's a fucking camera. And so Death Row finally shows up and he yells, I got a present for you and just starts shooting at maybe his own guys. It's not to hear where he is in relation to this, but he does throw a grenade and blow up certainly some of his own guys at that point. There's a thing that happens here that's truly insane. He screams plan nine and then his like bandit girl next to him says from outer space. And obviously nothing of substance has to be screamed here. They could just be screaming, yeah, fucking here we come. I think they chose one of the few random things that don't mean anything under any circumstances.

Yeah, that's X-a-7, the death lock on his motorcycle. And he's just kind of sitting there. A grenade goes off more on, more towards the death row's side who has thrown it. And then he peels out and screams Plan 9 and his, and his, his kiss bandit screams from outer space. And then he, that's, and then he says, perfect. Okay, Rusty, you think you're going to explain this? Yeah, I was thinking maybe she's actually wearing like an Angora sweater because that would be like a little nods at Ed Wood.

Oh, like an Ed Wood thing, right? Yeah, that's the only possible thing I could make sense of this. But why? But why reference it? I was like, oh, this must be a 90s song that was popular. And I know it's not. It's they're just referencing the 50s movie, the famously terrible 50s movie. I don't get it in so many ways.

But he thinks that was perfect. He'd say it's perfect. She got my reference What? She's my best friend Oh yeah Maybe this is like a Ready Player 1 thing Where he's making references

Ah, there it is Female characters like Ah yes I recognize your reference In fact you're great for making that reference He's like yeah she's a perfect babe She knows pop culture It's such a shame I don't think Craig Stormon

Live to see Ready Player 1 It would have been his favorite anything Yeah he would have loved that He would probably be searching for Oh God where's the Blue Comet references I know that's going to show up any second. It's just scanning the background. It's got to be an Easter egg.

Well, Plan 9 from outer space, that's a reference to me. The time I referenced it. So fucking weird. It makes me feel like a grandma reading this. Like, I just, I am on a different planet than this fucking guy. So after that, X-187 grabs Sue. Sue Martin, I think we've determined her name is this issue. And she screams, no, Hank, help.

Hank who is, I don't believe here yet. Hold on, let me check. No, you're right. He hasn't shown up yet. Nope, he has not shown up yet. So she screams, help Hank to the night sky, I guess, and X187, throws her on his motorcycle and zooms away. And then the next page is a two-page splash where Detective Hank Blood is now in his flying Ferrari. It just leaps into the air. And they actually show us like the whole street scene so you can be absolutely sure. He did not jump off of anything. Didn't hit a ramp?

Nope. There's nothing there. His car just shoots into the sky. This is, I don't know, this is the kind of don't give a fuck thing that I like. Like, this is so divorced from like sense and he just wanted the car to jump. So fuck it. The car jumps. It's the way an awesome kid might write a story.

I genuinely, I love this whole splash page. because Hank is in his just flying Ferrari on here. The killer cyborg drug cartel hitman on an anatomically incorrect motorcycle is tear in ass. There's a police helicopter is now arrived and is also shooting at the drug cyborg. And there's just, there's a gripping. They do not care that he's holding this woman hostage. They are opening fire. No, just everybody's opening fire.

We can see specifically that I guess, Hank, Detective Hank Blanche, Blood's hand laser does not have the range to cross out of page one onto the page two splash. You forgot to draw that in the second page. This death lock is also immune to bullets. A few of them are clearly hitting him and just, yeah, he doesn't seem to care. It kind of rules, though. I love the two-page splash there. Rules hard.

Yeah. Now, so you see all of this and you're like, fuck yeah, nobody thought this through at all. And then you turn the page and you realize Detective Hank Blood's, jumping Ferrari is headed straight for a gas station. And his next line is, you bastards aren't going to get away. Uh-oh. Okay, there's a character down here saying, holy shit. And then in a very, very, very tiny font, as if he didn't have a ton of confidence in this

joke, it just said, whitey crazy. It's tinier than you could ever imagine. It's like if he could write at smaller, he would have. I couldn't even read that. I'm glad you made that out. That's nice of you to call what he drew there a character. Yeah. It's definitely, it's like.

There's a lot of racism here. Sure. It's like something a British grandmother would collect and you'd be like, oh, you can't have those anymore. And she'd be. Yeah. But, okay, it's like reality hit him in the brain because he's like, okay, this guy jumps. His car can just jump when he wants.

And then he's like, wait a second. It's got to come down somewhere, right? Okay, so it just fucking explodes when it hits the ground. It doesn't do anything cool to save it. He crashes straight into the gas pumps and blows himself and the car up. You can't just land a Ferrari flat after a three-block jump. No, no, you have to explode afterwards. And then we get a little like dream sequence of like, I guess what life could have been like with Sue

if he hadn't just jumped his dipshit car into a gas station. So, like, they fall in love in his mind, and then he wakes up in the hospital covered in bandages and burns with them saying, Detective Blood, how do you feel? Yeah, he's in a full body cast. He's in, like, traction. Yeah. Like, his body has been shattered and burned. I love that it was for nothing. I kind of love how, like, when he wakes up, he screams Sue, but the way it reads, because it's S-U-U-E-E, he reads like he's screaming Sue.

Like he's calling for a pig? Yeah, he's calling for his pig. The pig that he lived a whole life with. If they introduced like an attack detective pig here, I wouldn't have cared. I would have been like,

yeah, that's fucking awesome. Hank Blood's got a, like a combat pig. You know it would have been flying through this guy jumping off of nothing and then hitting a gas station and also exploding.

I just, I genuinely, I love that as a comedy. Not even as like incompetence. I mean, I love it. Then he's like this fucking... He didn't shoot anybody. The jump did no good to anybody.

He didn't avoid anything. It was the most incompetent thing he could have possibly done. It was actually an example of a guy being like, this is going to be fucking awesome. Oh, no. And exploding. And ruining. He's out of the chase. He lost her.

He fucked it all up. Yeah. Presumably for days. Like, just applying these bandages alone is hours and hours and hours of work. Like, it is a week later. They don't tell us how later it is, but it is very later. And she has been taken prisoner, obviously, by X-187, and he's brought her to the mafia guys' torture basement. And she still knows that Hank is going to come save her.

And they're, you know, laughing at that. Ha-ha. They get in a limo and leave, and they leave her with the, I want to say resident, like a hospital might have a resident doctor. this is the resident torture rapist. His name is Johnny. I guess it's just for Rusty. I think this is an Alan Davis trace here on this page. I could kind of feel that.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. The art is really, like, early in this person's development as an artist. Like, they are trying things before our eyes. The thing that caught me too was, like, also he refers to her as Mrs. Martain now. M-A-R-T-A-I-N. Right. I wasn't supposed to be an accent? Yeah, it was.

I flipped back, roll. quick is he did say Martin at first. Then it says Martain. And she got that divorce. That's just. That's right. She's back to being a miss. It has been a week.

I mean, I would divorce him after he jumped his Ferrari into a gas station and exploded instead of saving me. Like, yeah, that relationship's done. I love what she says to them, I saw Hank, he's not dead. He can't be. And he's going to stop all of you just wait, sob. She saw him fucking exploded. a convenience store.

But she knows that's not the end of him. I just want to point something out real quick. When I say torture dungeon, there's like a far side-style skeleton still chained to the wall, which is a really goofy thing to have in this modern-day 1990s gritty, like, cartel basement instead of whatever torture you're thinking of. No, it's the old school like Viking torture. It's the Hagar, the horrible dungeon. Yeah, absolutely.

Haggar the horrible gag. Been here a while, she says to the skeleton. Back in the hospital, Detective of Hank Blood, of course, is just woken up, still covered in bandages. He's pulling on all of his clothes and he's leaving, despite the nurse telling him he has to get back into bed. Yeah, his bones are spiral fractures in every limb. 100%.

Yeah, they had him in traction on his body. Yeah. They had him like in full, like, supported traction, which they don't do if you can get up and put your pants on. What he does? he runs out and he steals a cop car from some other cops. Right. He says borrowing in quotes.

I do feel like you could have the paperwork done if you were a detective to borrow somebody else's patrol car. I just don't think it would be instantaneous. So he's stealing the car, I guess. And then the next page, we throw back to the torture dungeon. And I am pretty certain here. Maybe it says at some point in the comic, but they have switched artists. Yeah. Right, they had to have.

This doesn't look anything like. Absolutely new artist. Absolutely, new artist. Could have been Stormont didn't pay him or it could have been this next, that first artist says, dude, I'm not drawing this page. This next one appears to be drawing with their feet as well. Yeah. I don't want to say that there's a skill gap, but this is a very odd sign to say there actually is a very clear skill gap. Yeah.

Daniel Day Lewis painted this with his left foot. And he deserves that goddamn Oscar for it. I disagree. I think this costs them the Oscar. You're right. As soon as I said it, I was like, no, I would tell that great man in his noble story. Absolutely not. What an inspirational story.

What did you paint? Then you see this. You're like, oh, no. I'm going to cut your fucking foot off. Yeah, one of the consequences of changing an artist totally unannounced in the middle of a story is that nobody looks even remotely the same. same. So you have to relearn, like, in a visual medium, who the fuck are these people? Doesn't look the same big skill gap, because, like, you don't get, you don't fire the other artist 10 pages into your comic and then get a better one. Like, that doesn't, yeah, that's not how that

works. And we started real bad. Uh, yeah, we started with the worst arm I've ever seen drawn. I think we'll probably beat that before the end of this comic. And so, uh, the resident rapist, Johnny is saying, all right, babe, take off your clothes. Uh, which is, kind of weirdly polite for a dungeon rapist. Yeah. It's also implies that they kept her there for a week, and it finally occurred to him, oh, dude, we should do some sex crime stuff in our sex crime dungeon.

I don't know. I don't know the timeline, but I... He's drying it out. So back to Hank Blood, he has found a member of the Death Bloods. He immediately gets out of his car and punches him in his one big arm. He seems like he's mostly arm. This guy, this guy is kind of like,

I guess it's the opposite of my left foot situation. It's like my right arm and my whole body is arm. Yeah, that's a less inspirational movie. Fun. I mean, I'd watch it. I just think that's a comedy and not an Oscar bait drama. And apparently he got all the information he needs. So he jumps on the radio and tells them that Sue Martin is being held in a, quote,

marks, crack house in the basement of a crack house. now. Oh, you're right. It is Sue Martian. Sue Martian. Oh, my God. Sue Martin, Sue Martian. Could it be Martian?

I'm not looking up the last page. Yeah, Sue Martian. The basement of a crack house, this is the top panel. This is the top left panel on the page. And then the next panel is him saying, is the radio saying, we read you, we'll be there. And he peels out. And then he. And then the.

The next panel we see of his car after he peels out saying she's in the basement of a crack house, a crack house is him smashing through the giant floor to ceiling window of what looks like a beauty supply store? Yeah. It's got a Reblon poster on the wall. It's got some mannequins. He's knocking over a mannequin. He's just driving into the mall. This is the, this is the crack house. It's the beauty supply store.

I wouldn't mind skipping the next panel. Good God. Darkness. it would take to write this and draw this. Look, I kind of feel like reading a chick track to cheer myself up at this point, you know? Yes. It's one of the worst things.

Well, I don't know. I think, like, okay, so Johnny, Johnny, the resident rapist is there, and he's saying, you love it. And he appears to have beaten the hell out of an alternate version of himself. Yeah, I think this is supposed to be Sue Martian.

Oh, okay. I thought it was like an alternate universe, him, but where he's turning into a werewolf, like a little bit? Right. And he's saying you love it. Teeth Wolf me. I don't know how you figured out that was supposed to be Sue Martian. Well, they're the only two characters in the sex dungeon besides the skeleton. That creature is half wolf. I don't know.

Definitely half wolf. I think he didn't know how to draw, just got beaten up. But yeah, it's awful. It's the idea, the execution, all of it, it shouldn't have happened. And the next panel is Hank Blood saying, down that door. Uh, not a sentence, and he's not saying it to anybody. A sentence. He kicks open the door and says, you piece of shit, and, uh, just shoot the hell at a Johnny, whose final words are Gack, splat. He says, he's in the speech bubble. Yes.

He says, just like, just like in the first issue, X-187 said grunt, grunt, uh, resident rapist, Johnny said, Gack splat. He speaks in Nickelodeon products, I think. And then he finds Sue, and I think she's just supposed to be beaten up here, but he accidentally drew her with like two faces, like two sides of a face separated by a gulf. She is, she is like a banshee or something. She's like the ghost of Sue Martian. I'm telling you, this is, if he's tracing, this is from the howling. He has traced this from the howling.

This is mid-transformation, scene three in the werewolf sequence. Or part three of an animorph, like a beaver animal. Her fingers have evolved into claws. She doesn't have nails. She has full flesh. Yeah, dude, she's a fucking monster. But she has got a big heart because he took a bullet coming in and she says, Hank, Hank, are you okay?

And she has just been like beaten to within an inch for life. So that's how much she cares about Hank. LA's best detective. If he had a silver bullet, he'd put her down right there. Yeah, if you see this, you'd kill it. Anyone. Absolutely. Well, I would see it and understand that I don't have the equipment to kill it.

And I would retreat and come back later. You still got to try. You still, you don't want to, like, not shoot it. Like, when you're telling this story later and your friends are like, so what'd you do? And you're like, I left. You're like, you didn't even try to shoot it? Like, you don't want to be. I don't have the bullets to kill a Sue Martian.

Next panel is just them hanging out silently. That's weird. That's really weird to just draw a very, very dark panel of them hanging out silently, just enjoying, enjoying all their injuries. Enjoying the death of the, the rapist, I guess. just reflecting on their decisions. He had some profound last words, to be fair. Gaxplatt.

Gaxeplett. Back at the police station, they're patching up, Detective Hank Blood and Sue Martian. And you will notice something about this page in that I would say about 16% of it is just cut off. Like the word bubbles clearly continue on off the side of the page. page. That's a good point. I think the thing that stuck out to me is some detective is saying X187. You know, X187 means murder one.

Like a 212 is a robbery. Boy, he's ugly. Like, this is L.A.'s best detective. That's pretty much all we know about him and his jumping car. I think he knows. It's kind of like the scene in the dark night where they have to explain the RICO statutes out to a lawyer. Right. But this is so much

Dumber. It'd be like meeting Batman and saying Batman. When you fight the guy, close your fingers around themselves. It's called a fist and use that to bash into them in a move called a punch. And the doctor is saying to Hank Blood as he patches him up, you should have waited for

quote unquote backup. I guess it wasn't really going to be backup. Yeah. And Hank Blood is saying wait, but the measurement weight, broke the, and then the words are off the page and wagon down. I have no idea what that could possibly be. It is madness. This whole fucking thing. He's so proud of 187. He's

explaining to the reader what that means and then forgot to make sense out of the rest of the English. Wait, broke the wagon down. Like maybe I want to be generous and say whatever occurred off page is, makes this make sense somehow, but I don't understand how. There's no combination of words that makes this make sense. Down that door. This is the writer of Down That Door. You're right. You're right. And Sue Martian. I just want to reiterate that like this was,

because I scanned this and sent this to you guys. And so the formatting errors, which will get more, more and more from this point on are, that's not my scan job. That's not too much. I'm reading this from the physical comic as we go through it. That's how it is in the physical comic. Also, I want to point out that this one,

just like the first comic, I actually did not realize it came with a collectible card because he had made it out of some kind of weird squishy paper that had partially absorbed the card. I've never felt a comic quite like that before. And it's the same with this one, but different. This whole comic is made out of like what feels like really shitty cardstock, except for the cover, which is made out of much flimsyer paper,

so you'd figure it would go the other way. He probably just fucked it up. He probably just clicked the wrong box at Kinko's. He ordered comic book paper for the cover and then like really cheap cover paper for the pages. I am proud of the fact that he actually did put the price on the front of the cover. Oh, you're right. Instead of the rear. He put it on the back.

He's learning. He's learning. Fucking hell. Wait, wait, broke the wagon down. I, like, yeah, okay, you, you blew up. Everybody's going to be saying that. In a hospital and then just took a bullet. You're definitely having some sort of stroke when you say shit like that.

It's probably a line from Plan 9 from Outer Sprague. space. This is all just a, we just missed it. And so back at, we're back at the, uh, the bloods, the deathbloods hideout. And, uh, I think that's supposed to be X-187 there watching, uh, watching them get in the cop car. Uh, he recognizes colossus legs and Harley. And he's like idling his Harley. There's, there's a, a big sign that says, little company of the Madonna. And I don't know what that could possibly mean. Like my, I thought it might be like he's trying to do a Catholic name for a hospital.

But he's also told us that they were at the police examination room. That's the first panel. Then here in this text bubble, they say, this is the blood's hideout. And then the next panel says Little Company of the Madonna, like it's a hospital. Oh, it's a worldwide Roman Catholic congregation of nursing sisters. Okay. I just looked it up. So where the fuck are they?

I guess he's outside a nun hospital. That's also the death blood hideout. And they are so bold, they hide out in the police examination room. I guess. I think it's just a standard set piece. Like, you know, in a video game, you get an ice level and a lava level and a non-hospital level. It's just boilerplate. Boiler plate shit.

And at the very end, I'm presuming the guards outside of their room, the police guarding the room. One of the guards says, well, John, Detective Blood and Sue Martian are all tucked in safe and cozy. So he's sticking with Sue Martian. Yep. He now thinks genuinely it's Sue Martian. It's the best. version of all the options. So I guess they're in the hospital now, because now he's in a hospital gown, and death row

comes exploding in through the wall. He's the British one with the Mohawk. And a cop, the guarding cop outside, runs in through the door long enough to say, Free Z-arg! As he dies. The other one only says, oh, the letter O, because the rest of the word bubble is cut off. The rest of the page is cut off on the other side. We've flipped a page, so it was cut off.

on both sides. I don't know how they fucking did that. I think the Kinkgo's manager was telling him he had to hurry up because other people needed to use the machine. But think about where the placement is on the last page because these are two sides to the one page and it was the outer edge that was cut off and then you flip and the inner edge of this one is cut off.

And like, you can't do both. He's failing on a different level, man. He is so high above the rim. So Sue Martian has just apparently half a face now. They draws are wildly different each time And same with fucking death row Don't know what this face is It's like half loose

It's kind of a bullwinkle He's drawn a death row with And they take they take Sue Martian captive And knock out Detective Hank blood And leap into their jet cycles Because I guess everybody has jet cycles now Yeah I would say this is when it went off the rails Like already it was crazy

but it kind of took place in a world you could understand, but now they have jet cycles. And not just one guy has jet cycles. Like, this is a world of jet cycles. Like if you started the comic here, this is a toy line for jet cycles. In just case, they've never shown up before. Before, I want to say specifically,

we've seen police helicopters every single time they've needed, like, air support. They've shown up multiple times and played like pivotal roles in the comic. And also, he had a motorcycle gang. And those motorcycles could fly. We have canonically established their flying motorcycles. Part where he had to take his van up to the top of a parking structure to like jump it off to grab hold of it. It was two pages to set up how like flying in this world is kind of a big deal. Yes.

But here it's just like everyone gets their little. Yep. Now everyone has jet cycles. And now the next page is also, you guys, you're reading it from a scan that I gave you. So this is going to be lost on you, but I will explain this next page is another big two-page splash. It is not a two-page splash in the comic. It is the front and back of a single page. Oh, that's amazing.

Oh, God. I love that so much. That's what I'm saying. It's the kind of failure you're like, well, no one would do that. No one would ever think to do that. But yeah, it's a two-page splash. So, like, there's part of an explosion off to the... the right-hand side, and then you have to turn the page over to see the rest of the explosion

and the rest of the scene. He never misses an opportunity to fuck it up. In a brand new direction. They were very proud of this, though. There's two signatures on that page, look. They were very proud of this. Yeah, this is their, like, yeah, this is my moment. Oh, my God, there are.

This is the poster. I mean, to be fair, they did not know he was going to do this. He might have seen this and said, okay, fine, I'm going to add some jet cycles, because they do kind of all come out of nowhere. Also, there's lots more than just the two sidewalks. now. A lot of these dudes are clearly cyborgs. Yes, everybody's a cyborg. They're jet cycles everywhere. They've had

whole multiple teams of jet cycles. They're all having a jet cycle war. The hospital is long forgotten. They're battling, I think it's both death row and X-187 now have jet cycle gangs that are fighting each other as they zip through the city.

And for some reason they have decided they really need Sue Martian. They don't explain why they neat. She doesn't like, it's not that she's a witness. She's like two-thirds of reporter. Like most of her has been carved off by the knife murderer. There's no benefit to having her. She has never had a role in this comic book. She's not like breaking the big story on him. She's not like a witness to anything. She doesn't have the secret to X-187's gold.

I don't think anyone needs help breaking the story either. They are 25 jet cycles having a dog fight in the middle of the city. that's going to get covered by multiple outlets, I think. So now they're having this dogfight through the city, and she's once again screaming for Detective Hank Blood to save her from the jet cycle gang as he stands there in his hospital gown. And he apparently does. He leaps out of a window.

Remember, like, they have flown away from the hospital. We last saw him in the hospital room, in his hospital gown, connected to an IV with like the stand that he asked. to carry around. Now we are, I want to assume, 20 blocks away by jet cycle speed, and he leaps out of an unrelated skyscraper window fully clothed. Craig doesn't care, man. And takes out one of the jet skis. In one of his comics, he had the super speed guy like reassemble the broken glass, like,

by hand. And it became whole again. I just don't think he understands how windows work. Or space and time. Yeah, definitely. So now Hank Blood is also in the jet motorcycle jet plane fight. I'm not, he's so bad at like space and time. I'm not sure what the maneuvers are or how cool it's supposed to be.

I tried to explain this last time we talked to him. This is him picturing an awesome scene in a movie when Indiana Jones drives his little boat between the two ships. This is him trying to put that in a comic and having no idea how to do that. Oh, okay. I get it. I'd sort of see it now. Yeah. Well, he sees it or saw it. And then after it didn't turn out in the comic book, he's like, fuck it, printed anyway.

Hopefully backwards and upside down. Somehow, somewhere in this maneuver, Sue Martian is thrown off of X-187s, even though he's not involved in this. She's thrown off. I think he maybe thought that she was with Death Row or something, because it's Death Row that's doing this maneuver. He flies out the other side saying, yeah, I'm alive, but he had to ditch. Sue Martian, but he never had a hold of her. It was X-187 who had kidnapped her.

So she's plummeting to her death. Hank Blood is screaming, Sue, no, and he zips down and catches her at the last minute and saves them. Because he has his own rocket cycle now, because he jumped out and commandeered one. Yeah, he has, everybody has a rocket cycle. Like, that's just, that's all the, all of the toys now come with a rocket cycle.

They're not like e-bikes. They're like e-bikes in the city. You've read them. Like, that's like, I don't know. It's like the sky dancers or whatever not coming with the little zip cord to pull it. No, everybody comes with the sky rocket cycle now. Like, that's not their accessory.

That's part of the toy line. Death Row is screaming, go get them. And then rocket cycles, and I should point out that the rocket cycles are completely different in every panel. They're drawn. Not just like they're drawn badly, but like the design is 100% different.

100% different. They're little planes now. They're just jet planes, but like, Cheeby-style K-car jet planes in this panel. They're like metal-flug kind of vehicle. Yeah, that's kind of cute. But just last panel, it was kind of a one big engine rocket, like, boat.

And the panel before that, the panel before that, it was like a Manta ray thing that you kind of stand on. And the panel before that, it was the, clearly it's supposed to be the SR-71 Blackbird. Yeah. It's a different thing every single time. And it's one of my favorite gags that I'm sure. sure he did not know it was a gag. Deathrow here says, you son of a bitch,

you're dead assed. Not the correct part of your, but also who cares? Because dead assed isn't a thing? You're dead assed. And that's death row. He's shooting back. What?

Your dead assed? Nothing. I'm done talking. He's fighting X-187 now, even though they were all supposed to be fighting Detective Blood. So they're dog fighting now. He calls him a tin monster,

and the other one calls him a freak, although they're both tin monsters and both freaks. Yeah, no question. Like, empty insults. And if anything, they should be reversed, because it's X-187, the Marines head on a reanimated zombie body turned into a cyborg that's calling just the cyborg a freak. And it's the guy that's just a cyborg calling what is mostly a zombie, a tin monster. So, like, didn't even get that.

Yeah, I agree. It's better the other way. It's definitely wrong. but I feel like you could call either one of these guys either one of those things. That's true. And be very correct. It's technically correct.

But it would be more correct. We're both correct, is my point. Everyone's correct except Craig Stormon is my point. So it says Hank, Hank does a loop getting behind Death Rowan X-187 in his rocket sled. It comes up behind them and says, it's payback time. And then fires a bunch of rockets at them, which blows up. I don't know everything. I should just, I just want to note that now.

his rocket cycle, which was like a cheby rocket plane last time, is now some sort of submarine. It looks like a, it looks like it's a submersible of some kind. And he has destroyed a city block. Like none of these rockets are hitting the bad guy. They're just flying into this building. And I should point out, God, I love Detective Hank Blood so much. I should point out one of the, it shows one of the like shrapnel pieces hitting Sue Martin in the head, straight in the head. That's amazing.

It doesn't hit any of the bad guys. It just hits Sue Martin in the head. He's so good. He's the only person who was successfully attacked both himself and Sue Martin as detective. This is really his Wednesdays, he won't. Yeah, he drops her. It hits her in the head and he drops her. Yeah.

Rusty, you should probably explain the rest of this page. There's so much happening here. So it appears that she She's falling and he she reached it he reaches down to catch her But then he's in some glass and they're they're making out Right with her like dead body his rocket cycle's gone So they're in a free fall Yeah and then the next page is like oh no she's a corpse

I guess I mean yeah it's horrible whatever's going on I think that they fell and she took the brunt of the fall So she's like in a sack They wake him up and say here's your group Here's Sue Martian She is like a chunk of wet bones in this bag And that's really like you turn the page

And it's the last you see is them making out in a shard of glass As though it's in his dream again And then he gets up and goes wow Glad we made it out of that one But in that panel you can see her mangled face next to him In a body bag already In a body bag already So he whacked out and did not know

that he was unconscious, time enough for them to, I guess, document the entire crime scene and then put her in a body bag. So hours. He's been asleep for hours at least. The paramedic season is upset and says, take it easy, dude, it's over. You're going to have to pick up and keep living. That's all. They still haven't finished tipping her up. No, her mangled face is. You'll beat somebody, pal. Come on. Hanging out of the body bag. And he's like, you got to go on living. My man, she'd want that. And then they do one of those, like, stare into the sky and scream no things. But again, he doesn't know how to translate that moment from a movie into a comic book.

So there's four panels of him screaming no into the night. And then one panel of him, like, is scream having ended? And everybody's standing around not knowing what to do now that a man just did that. They're all just in silence looking at him in the fourth panel. Yeah, like, why show that? Why show the awkward aftermath of that? Such a strange choice. weeks, days later, who knows? He's at the, he's at Sue Martian's Gravestone, and he says, I'll get Roe and

X-17. I don't think we've been calling him Roe. I think he just ran out of room in that speech bubble. And he says, they're dead, I swear they're dead, and walks away from her grave. And then a knife gets stuck in the grave. And it's Death Row, and he looks to the sky and laughs. You weren't the one that wanted, like, for no reason X-187 wanted the reporter. You, I don't know that you've 100% met that reporter. Nobody, you don't have, nobody cares. Nobody has a reason to hate that one knows.

They just wanted, it was remarkably petty. That's all like, that's all I gathered from. They just, just wanted her, just fucking hated her vibe. Was just like what this whole comic was about. And that's, that's it. That's the end of death row the series.

That's the end. They hated her weather reports. She always said it was raining. Before that, she must die. And even after she died, it's like, I'm going to talk. her remains every day. You did not exchange words with her.

You're not the one that kidnapped her. Nobody has like any relationship, but she became, I think she was the bad guy of this comic. And it's so great how it is an ending. Kind of. Like, nobody won. But there's definitely like a dramatic ending. Two people screamed into the sky.

That's a dramatic ending. The only people who hurt the protagonists were Hank. Blood. Hank Blood hurt himself and then killed Sue. And nobody else had anything to do with that. He could have left. Instead, he shot every rocket into a skyscraper and killed her with a shard of glass, dropped her out of his own sky bike. And then landed on her body. And then landed on her body. And then said, boy, oh boy, glad we're okay. Wait a second. He's my favorite protagonist that has ever been. The best. The best. He just, he, the only thing he did is he jumped his car into that gunfight and exploded without hitting anybody he just shows up

and makes shit worse he's the fucking mr bean of this comic i love it i do wish there was another issue of this i think yeah this is this you were on to something with this i would watch i would read a million issues of detective hank blood incompetent space combe action mr bean it's such a great idea There's more ads for The Devil's Workshop, which I've talked about on the site, which stars a team that he, that Craig Stormont, a team of all sexy ladies that Craig Stormone called the Devil's Cupcakes, although they hate that name. Even the women he makes up hate him. Yeah, they hate the name that he gave them. And I just want to reiterate it once more how shockingly terrible the print quality. And like, these ads, these ads themselves are cut off.

cut off at the edges. So they couldn't even get the ads right. It's made out of this weird card stock. And at the very, very end, just before the list of the back issues on the back cover, there's a page that says, Returning Soon, Heroes, a different line of comic books, from Blackbird Comics, and then in giant black lettering at the bottom, Comic Sans, of course, says, Publishers, if you liked the quality of this book, write Blackbird for info on printing rates, runs as low as 500, check it out. The most incompetent, like, job I've ever seen in an actual comic book, even amongst new comic comics, this issue is worse than all the rest of them.

And it ends with an ad for if you loved the quality of this, the worst book you've ever seen, we have super low rates. It's just the audacity of that is stunning, but also I didn't know they did that. It's like getting the, it's like getting a 10% discount on with a shoddy roof job because you put the sign in your yard. Yeah. Well, I was going to actually ask, too, if you go back one page, there's an ad for Blue Comet Press, outlawed comments. It looks like it was made with, like, a label maker.

I was curious if that was in the, if there was actually something on the scan. Because it looks like somebody who's like labeling, like, these are mom snacks, that same kind of like. That's actually part of the ad. Now, it looks like that on mine, too. It looks like it. He definitely, I guess, made it with put a label maker on. And then scanned it. Fucking crazy.

And then on the next page. wrote if you love this, if you love the quality of this label maker comic book, We Work for Cheap. That's it. He did say he was going to continue the story of Death Row in The Spear, which is going to be a three-issue series. That never happened.

Cancelled after the ad came out, but before even in Issue Zero, which is a new record for him. Yeah, great job, Craig. And I do think Death Row appears one more in another comic, I just bought called Outlaw Overdrive. It seems like it's an anthology of 10-page, like 310-page stories that he promised was going to be their longest running series ever.

There is only the one issue of that. Damn. See, I've talked about Death Row for, what is it, like 11 hours now. I read both the comics he's appeared in. I don't think I know what he does. I know he has some guns, but I don't. If you said, how strong is he? How high can he jump?

I have no fucking idea. I don't know. He's kind of got an inhaler. I don't know why. What does his rocket sled look like? Eight different things. I couldn't fucking tell you. I couldn't tell you.

But I don't know if that's a mistake or if it changes shape. I know he likes crack and he hates reporters. Those are two things I can do. Okay. Yeah. Yeah, that's enough. Yeah, that's enough. I would read a million issues of Detective Hank Blood, though.

Like, thank God he came out of this. 100%. I love Hank Blood. I do what I do want to point out that when I bought the last appearance of Death Row in Outlaw Overdrive. Outlaw Overdrive was on sale for $4. Uh-huh. Uh-huh.

And I decided to buy the cheaper copy for $3 because it was signed by Craig Stormont. You go to Comic Con. You're like, Craig, will you sign my comic? He's like, if I do, it'll go down at value. Yep. So I need to give you a dollar. It wouldn't. He would have to pay you a dollar to take his signature.

He's welcome to the 1,900 hot dog stage, a brand new comedian debuting here tonight. The insult comic with class Lord Jimathan Jiggles. Thank you, thank you. That's quite enough, though I should say, flattery, We'll get you everywhere. Aho. What a supreme audience we have tonight. I recognize a lot of faces, though they might not like me saying that. Oh, I see Aaron Crostin here.

A peacock in everything but beauty. Ah-ho. Adrian H. I see Adrian H here. Alex Nolenberg. Alpha scientist Javo. Anandi. Armando Nava. Autumn Armstrong Berg. Oh, I see Brandon Garlock. He has one of those fine bureaucratic faces that once seen are never remembered.

Oh, Brian Saylor, Brockway famously loves the meat millie. A little too much, if you know what I mean. Ceryl. Christopher Worthing, I am told porkpacking is the most valued profession in America. Tell your mother, I said, thank you for your service. Oh, oh, oh, I'm so naughty. Common sense, I see Craig Lemoyne, Dan B, David Schell. Popularity is the only insult that has not yet been offered to Dean Costello. Oh, oh, Delta Foxtrot, I see Devin the Rogue Supreme here, I see Dusty's rad title and Elizabeth Schope.

Elliot Watson, it is said that he can talk brilliantly upon any, subject provided that he knows nothing about it. Oh, oh, oh, oh, Eric Christian Berg is here, fancy shark, Jello, good Satan and his hot witches, I see you there. Greg Cunningham. Greg Cunningham is an excellent man. He has no enemies and none of his friends like him. Oh, oh, I slay, I truly do.

Aharaka, Harvey Pengweeney, honk! I have here, I want Brockway to say Dyke, which I'm allowed to do because this accent might be Dutch or something, you don't know. Jabar Al Aden, James Boyd, Jared Clack, Jared Mountain Man, it's the perfect man, always dull and usually violent. Oh, oh, Jared Ruiz, John Deeb, John McCabon, John Minkar, a lot of Johns here that. tonight, you know what I'm saying. Josh Quicksall, it is said some cause happiness wherever they go.

Others whenever they go. Eh, but no really. Go fuck yourself, Josh Quicksall. You know what you did. Uh, Joshua Graves. Justin B. Katie Favelle reminds one of a badly bound hymn book. Give her a few minutes, folks, she'll get it. Ken Paisley, K&M, I see KVH.

I see Lane Haygood. here Lisa oh she seems like a good citizen or a faithful wife or something else equally tedious oh joe jahy chapelle mark mahoney Matt riley max barroy i see mercenary sissidman here michael lear mickey loamun oh mcky loamins such keen student always ready to give his betters the full benefits of his inexperience oh hoo more Mr. Bob Gray, N. D. Neil Bailey, Neil, they say there is no sin, except stupidity. So tell the devil I said, hello! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. Oh, fuck you Neil Bailey. Neal Schaefer, Naku 104,

Nick Levino, obsolete. Ogiwan Supreme is like the best art. All style unpolluted by sincerity. Oh, I'm told One Ball Inn has been received in all the great houses. Or once. I kid, I actually like One Ball Inn. Henri Weevil, Ozzie Olin, Patrick Herbst. I see Pee Wee's uncle here with Rebrandtru and Red Wine Time. Riannon.

Hello, Rihanna. Russell Bauman. Oh, Russell Bauman, everybody. You seem, Russell, you seem the kind of person who's Brilliant and Breakfast. No, don't get that one? Go team up with Katie Favel. Maybe you two can figure yours out together.

Sam Kopenik, Sarkovsky, Sean Chase, Seed. Space Jam fan, I may not agree with you, but I shall defend to the death. You're right to be a dipshit. Spotty reception, Supernought, Tater stays, 10H.

Ted H. Thomas, Thomas is such a good friend, he will always stab you in the front air. Thomas Cavatzos, Timi Leahy, Toastigan, I see Tommy G here. Velo. Velo is the kind of person who deprives one of solitude without providing one with company. Oh, that one was bad. Victor Malavankan, Booster, Whalen Russell. I see Yvonne Clavam here. Zach and Eva, Jeff Oraski is chaos illumined by flashes of lightning. As a speaker, he has mastered everything except language. As a dancer, he can do anything but move with rhythm.

And as a wiener, he is everything but plump. Oh! I kid! I kid, of course. Thank you. Thank you all. I'd say you've been lovely, but I've been told untruths cause wrinkles. Oh! No, but seriously.

folks truth is everything stay true one must always strive to be true to what they are even if what they are is a nasty little cunt oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh