The Dogg Zzone by 1900HOTDOG - Dogg Zzone 9000 - Episode 3, Godek

Episode Date: October 1, 2020

Seanbaby and Brockway need special guest April O'Neil's help to tackle the collected works of Godek: romance author, hobgoblin, pizza fetishist. Don't try to get nasty after this. Your genitals won't work for a week.

One nine hundred hot dog. Hot dog. One nine hundred hot dog. Hot dog. Out of podcast slams with maximum hype. Say hot dog podcast word. Word. Yeah.

When you taste that nitrate power you're in the dog zone for an hour. Come on. You know the number. One nine hundred. One nine hundred hot dog. One nine hundred. Hot dog.

One nine hundred. One nine hundred hot dog. One nine zero zero zero. Yeah. Nine thousand. Welcome to the dog zone. Nine thousand. The official podcast for one nine hundred hot dog.

Dot com. I'm Sean baby from the internet. With me as always is my co-host and partner Robert Brockway. Hello. And our special guest today is actress star director

of erotic films professional romance which is very relevant to today's topic April O'Neill beautiful and charming April O'Neill from the internet. Hi. I was going to do an intro

where I was going to list funny names of films you've been in and some of them are pretty funny. Oh there's some good ones. Yeah so I was going through and I realized as I started doing the bit that one of the ways you can tell a genius from a normal is

they can tell when a bit's going to be fucking stupid like before they're finished with it. So I bailed on the whole thing but I did see a Ladik in your list of titles. I was going to ask like if you had a couple favorites that you wanted. Absolutely a Ladik was great.

I don't know movies I think they're great because I want to say that I really appreciate like I don't know if this is intentional but it seems like you've done almost virtuous types of porn movies like most of your movies are about like

Virtuous porn huh? Yeah they seem like they're kind of hot people get together and have sex which I think is the best genre of porn. Oh it's like kind of like vanilla sex. Right like sure it's not like feeding the homeless. I do have sort of a

fear that capitalism and porn has sort of worked together to just sort of reduce the taboo of incest like by 4% a year you know what I mean? And so I noticed there's like none of your co-stars were like your brother or your father or anything I was like that's

it starts with the step dad the step sister that's your gateway drug that's your gateway fucking uh huh and then you're like throwing your sister in the trunk of a car and you're like well no no no no no because sometimes you'll like you'll see like a porn movie at the end

of it the two people are like sitting on a couch to like show that you know we're still friends and I'm like you know if you got to establish that the stars of your sex movie like don't really hate each other like no one was really kidnapped and murdered like maybe you just shouldn't have made it. There's never really that after like porn

like the sequel where it's like the step sisters still have to like family dinner together oh man that might be my thing though we might have just found my thing like not not so much the porn but like meeting in the hallway and trying to do that awkward shuffle past each other and then being like

ohhhh just like a 20 minute montage of them just like trying to like live together and forget that that happened keep it from their parents I guess oh I would I would I would pay for that they're watching like family feud together some like lame game show and they're like well you two are acting

really funny what is it kids just got a throbbing erection mom's like ooh what's that and you're bo-do-do-bo-jump-pump watching shit that happens on Game of Thrones that you actually did together and you have to be like ohhhh this is even more awkward than the normal awkward

that this would be I always uh I obviously have no trouble with erotic material whatsoever but like I do think the warning should be put on stuff to not watch it with your folks I think I wrote that about this in a cracked article

way back in the day that that should be on the warnings like just don't watch this with your parents because my mom likes Game of Thrones but if I was watching the episode where like God he like sexually assaulted his sister on like the grave of their child I'm like this is God I'm so glad my mom is in the room I feel like that happens at least three times

one of the early seasons the seventh time they did it that was more awkward that was brutal when they actually showed the kid falling out and they kept going while we're on the subject maybe you could take this note to the mayor of porn or whoever

they know him well I think they should have someone on the set who's just very assertive and like persuasive and it would be their job to sort of talk them out of this step they could say like you know I have a note for the script let's maybe make these two characters not father and daughter

that's an idea I think the world would benefit from that like a similar situation where I did like a it was like a mommy and me type thing and the whole premise was that like she like wanted me

to call her mommy even though she was my step mom and they were like we really want you to use the word mommy and I was like I don't think I can do that so I turned the entire thing into instead of saying like yes mommy it was like

if you really want me to call you mommy I will just kind of reframe the words a little bit right like in the context of like a latin sweet talk maybe like mommy like you'd call your latina girlfriend

call her mami get it that whole time I want you to call me mami yeah see if there's a pornography with racism and incest that's just too far for me that's 0.6 too many things too far

no thank you so today on the podcast I asked neither of you to prepare anything and you're just going to come into this cold I'm going to just talk to you about one of my favorite authors his name is Gregory JP Godek

oh it's the Godek episode it's the Godek episode that one's been waiting for what have I gotten into I'm super not prepared you're not prepared I'm just looking at my google doc I have 42 pages of notes I was told not to even like look up this person

and I don't even know who he is so I'm very excited he's uh okay well let me just get started let me talk about Godek he got his big break in 1991 he wrote a book called a thousand and one ways to be romantic and it was a massive success it sold millions and millions of copies

I couldn't get the exact figure though that's a difficult research to just google but just as successful as like a little self-help book could possibly be I had no idea this guy was ever successful I thought I thought these were like niche products that you found on wish or something

no I mean I think what it I think people who see these books just forget about them two seconds later like when I say a million books sold that's not like people went home and read them it's like oh I got to get a present for my grandma well she is married to grandpa

I should get into this fucking romance they might like romance alright it could be a business marriage did they have like the crazy like book covers like the romance type no they're really really dry like just like

text on purple like just oh god there's no fabio like flowing hair romance nothing enticing on the outside not at all but just it's so generic and square that like I just feel like it's broad enough to appeal to people who needed a last minute gift at

borders when those exist so anyway the structure of this podcast I'm just going to describe his unspeakable career feel free to interrupt with any questions or comments I think you've seen a podcast before I guess this is the exact structure of our good friend Robert Evans this podcast Behind the Bastards

which I think is appropriate because I don't think he would ever cover this guy because he's not like a full on bastard but he sort of belongs alongside Steve Bannon or Elron Hubbard of like history's shittiest grifters and monsters I think well Elron Hubbard was pretty much a bastard that's putting him up there

yeah and he did a lot of like crimes against art and literature in addition to his crimes against humanity I don't I can't imagine I think by the time you always start there he is Sean's the leader he doesn't want us to know

they do say come in blind a lot most of my followers do fuck themselves to death in the first two weeks like it's that romantic I do want to talk about a success before we just full on make fun of him so he like I say this book sold a million copies and

in the 90s when you were successful at something like this lame like you were just on every talk show like Oprah and Jenny Jones and Phil Donahue they all had this guy on because if you're going to do like an episode of romance you like go to your media call us you're like I don't know we need an expert on romance

oh here's one so he was on TV kind of all the time and like he'd go on Oprah and he would just sort of recite his book he'll be just like hey Oprah run a bubble bath 892 right I love you on the driveway and

like I just watched this video to prepare this and the Oprah responded like most people would do by like motherfucker your husband's gonna come home and be like who wrote all over the driveway so like she responds the same way that like you or I would even though she's his best potential audience she still

like immediately starts making fun of the dumb shit that is his life's work so I'm still just floored that he was on Oprah yeah and he will bring it up and if you look at the clip it's all comments from like people who came there for my cracked article so it's not like

oh yeah I remember this book it's like it's like a joke I made 20 years later so I guess like the point that I'm trying to make is that he's just sort of like a folksy

idiot like he says really obvious shit that seems like wisdom and maybe more to the point is kind of impossible not to know like if he's saying like hey take care of your lady buy her flowers let her know you care it's almost like how would you not know that and so I think this is really comforting

to the stupid because they like hear this person that's been declared an expert saying something that they already knew which makes them feel like oh you know I must be an expert and by the same standards of course they are and so obviously I think that's why like Oprah liked him

because that's like Oprah's jam is people saying really obvious shit and she agrees with it and pausing for applause she'll be like that's right you shouldn't murder people and then crowd goes nuts oh they're going nuts they love it there's coupons under your seat

and so she even was talking about this book and she says I love this book because I'll be going through the book and I'll say oh I thought of that I thought of that and I love that so much because like you just see like the hatred brew in godex eyes he's like you thought

of bubble baths no I invented bubble baths Oprah I could destroy you Oprah so anyway the point is this guy sucks really hard and he's more successful than 99% of the most talented people that have ever lived and that should bother you

it was like the late 2000s like 2009 2010 I started writing cracked articles and one of the things I like writing about is self-help books and so by the 4th self-help book article I was like I'm going to do this fucking book I've had for several years called 1001 ways to be

romantic like this was my discovery of godex and I just I couldn't believe it I was like oh wow this is a jackpot for a dude just making fun of shit because it's not only stupid it like repeats itself it's like poorly edited so like the same entry will show up again and again sometimes slightly

rewarded sometimes exactly the same wording the next time I wrote about these books I'm like I got to do two books by this fucking godex guy and now at this point I've demonstrated like the fragility of this guy's like success because if you googled godex after that second article he was like the third

page of fucking results you had to dig to find out the actual guy that had been made fun of you've taken over his life seriously this is like identity theft there's no way this guy does it both know about me and fucking hate me have you ever experienced

just strange shooting pains when he like pokes the voodoo doll he must have made with you he probably he's probably tried it he's coming to your house by now I'm sure he's just staring at my house every night well he's driven by it

he's watching my he's watching my dick game through the window going like oh that guy doesn't know how to romance look at that god damn it I have to put that in the next book though it's just it's a good move he's not even making love on a pizza that's a

you don't know about godex guy he's got a thing about pizza I thought that was just a good joke this is the whole thing I mean it's an elegant joke but in the context of godex it's a brilliant joke oh my god you know more about the pizza at this point I like I got to just get every

book this fucking guy wrote and so I went to Amazon and there literally every single one of them was a penny and so I got his entire bibliography for like less than a cab would be to a bookstore you could sell something for that little surprise

well it's like 399 shipping I'm so bad I just love the idea that someone carried around this fucking terrible romance book for 17-20 years just waiting the idea of saying to that guy you know I want to thank you

for your years of service and keeping this book like clean and safe and storing it and moving it you know what I'm going to give you for your trouble one American penny I love the duality of it there's two ways a book can go on Amazon one is that you'll find

any kind of old book and it will be $500 for no reason and all of his are one cent that should really tell you something well it's funny you should mention that because my fiance is a very sweet woman and very generous with her gift giving

and so she likes to get extravagant gifts and so she tried to get me like a book that Godek made in 2014 like his latest culmination of all he's learned it's called bring food arrive naked is it really called that it is it's called bring food arrive

naked romance with attitude I'm sorry I'll ride naked or arrive like show up at her door balls ass naked with a fucking with a bucket of chicken so basically his whole concept of romance is just do the naked man

40% of everything he believes is just just get naked with food nearby I like that he used to name like I have a thousand one tips and now he's like I have one tip one tip I'm boiling all down to this one thing

alright but that would work she tried to get me this book and it was $500 and so the book gets theoretically delivered and it's not and so she goes through this you know whatever interactions you have with these people where it's just like feels like lies but just a lot of confusion so months go by and this lady is sure that she delivered

the book we finally get the refund but supposedly there's a book out there called bring food arrive naked romance with attitude that is worth $500 but the one person who wants to buy it desperately can't and so they did just arrive at some stranger's house

and they're just like ah yes finally the answer I've been looking for I mean you really just need to like start cruising legal notices for divorces and then going to their garage sales and I bet you'll find it the meanest most horrible ugliest divorces that's where it'll be

just start f**king around your neighborhood their feelings on like nakedness and food just to like you know just knock on their door during a pandemic hey y'all y'all eat naked I'm asking for comedy purposes

just trying to have something down that actually sounds creepy don't do that I like Yoda because he sounds like Modoc that Marvel Comics character I was just thinking it's so nice it's so nice that your nemesis has a comic book villain name because if his name was like

John Jones or something I mean that you'd have the J.J. thing but right that's not right it's not as good as Godak it's not a name to curse as you yell at this guy right Godak so I call them genetic organism designed for erection killing and every

time I did an article about him I actually put his weird little face in a Modoc I shouldn't say weird little face he's kind of got like cabbage patch features but he's sort of an objectively fine looking man like you don't look at him and say like oh gross but like he looks like a boy wearing

an old man makeup yeah yeah he's he's got like a boyish charm he's he's very square and has like he clearly thinks of himself as like this sort of love guru so he's he does like a lot of yeah he's impish goblin ish maybe how old was he when he started writing

books I think he was probably in his late 20s I think he's in his 60s now I much experience at that young 20 age so we really are mocking a man's entire life yes and I think it's fair because I he's sort of the prototype

for like an entire decade of books that is just loath some more people would sort of put down whatever dumb shit they thought of like they say I'm gonna write a book called 300 ways to like you know make your car cool and then they would just like sit down run out of ideas that have sit at six or seven and then

293 dumb shit ideas that was an entire genre of literature that shouldn't exist that was like a chicken soup for the soul type era yes exactly and it's because they're chasing the success of like the very few people like Godek who just sold a million copies

of something literally anyone could fucking write the secret is just having a lot of something a big number and then like you get your money's worth it's 13 bucks for the book that's like less than a penny per tip that's 740 things it's a great deal

take her out to dinner you're like I wouldn't have thought of that on my own that's a great idea so I love the idea of watching his career like sort of crash as he keeps trying to do the same thing because like now today he has 95 followers on Twitter as of this writing

and so and he kind of went for it like is he what he's still alive he is he's still alive and still trying to be like a professional like love speaker but I don't think you can make a living doing this anymore because in the marketplace

of ideas and I say that in heavy quotes like say Twitter if you go on Twitter and say like here's an idea for romance take her to dinner which is about 80% of his books like people on Twitter would either ignore you or think you were kidding or make fun of you like it would be

absurd to think that would be a popular tweet yeah it sounds like a joke satire like some tiktok it's gonna I bet he sees a surge in followers every time you do something like he's gonna give a small surge from this like six people

will follow him and he'll be like oh my well I'm blowing the fuck up but like he does like sort of desperate calls for engagement and then he'll have the saddest Google oh yeah he'll be like oh cool a podcast about me oh this is a nice video I also think he's

not good at technology given his age because one of his tweets a recent one was just a picture of a woman in lingerie like that he seems like he might have accidentally retweeted because it has no context and then one of them was just a call for why not

one of them was just a call for a college student to help promote his book like he just wanted to I presume because he's not gonna pay her but like that's he just made a call to his 95 followers hey are any of you in college and want to work for free to promote a book that's 30 years old that's very

stupid and then he'll do shit like hey this is gonna sound weird let's boycott Valentine's day with like you know one like oh he's gotten to the stage in his career where he turns against him right as we all knew was inevitable like a good selling day for him now we

must destroy love it is turned on me so let's go that way go dick let's get started on his actual bibliography now that you have a good context for who he is and how he sucks can I ask one more question

if it doesn't ruin the the place that this is going I have no flow you can just disrupt whatever you want do we know like does he have a wife and kids like did it go successfully for him he does have a wife okay I don't know if he has any

children but um he makes so many like pizza references in his books that I started this running gag about how his wife is fat but but I of course can find her on the internet I know she's not fat but I never his wife is like normal size she's a presentable woman

but uh not not a giant fatty like you would presume from from all the times they fuck on a pizza and all of the jokes I make could just have a good metabolism some people do and there's a you get a lot of cardio I think you burn like 70

calories kissing and Godek loves to kiss so we are gonna we're gonna start off with his very first book from 1991 1001 Ways to be Romantic and we're gonna play Sean baby's book game so let me hit the theme

song here's how Sean baby's book game is gonna work for this episode you're each gonna pick a random number between one in 1001 and your job will be to seduce me but I'll be playing a character

and for this one I will be playing poison frontman and star of VH1's rock of love Brett Michaels so you're trying to find an entry in this book that would seduce Brett Michaels and you're gonna seduce Brett Michaels and you're

competing against one another are you sure there are entries in the book that would work for Brett Michaels I imagine that's a very narrow am I supposed to okay I Michael's is a is a very public sex addict is very clear from his reality show that he'll stick it

at anything if it'll let him he's the wrong guy right he's he usually has a do rag on he's saying talk to me it's one of his big hits nothing but a good time I mean it's a bit before your time of course but I think I know who we're talking about though he's cute good

he's a very handsome fella lots of rock star sex appeal so picture that while you're gonna really work hard in this game to get that guy so if you want to start picking up between one and a thousand one we might give us some melagons if you like

hit a bad one like sometimes you'll get like a Bible quote and like we we're gonna have to have a couple of do-overs but I can make that work challenge accepted very sexy Bible quote you never know

that would be a that would be a uniquely disturbing porn parody have they done that if it does Wood Rocket do a Jesus themed parody I do think you'd get some free press people would legitimately get some notes on the docket you should be telling porn about this

yeah alright so one through one thousand you're going first I go first as our guest well I'm obviously gonna pick 69 nice choice classic choice obvious choice

I hope it's a Bible verse the perpetual bouquet trademark I think it's a joke trademark I don't think it's a real thing bring home one flower a day for a week or two or three you'll create a wonderfully diverse bouquet day by day it gives both of you something to look forward to

and you'll have an ever-changing always fresh reminder of your love every fucking day yeah like a bouquet of half-dead flowers by the time we've all seen the flaw on this immediately

you assume that's the point is that like you replace the dead ones with the new ones but like every day and I gotta say that by day two Brett Michael's penis I'm saying that'll weigh you down

you've got a big edge here Brockway if you can beat that you could win this first round surely I have to beat that that's so easily 784 oh here we go 784

that is going to be five minutes devoted to romance equals one day of harmony that's the chapter is called the mathematics of romance so there you go that's the conversion rate

for one day of harmony is five minutes devoted to romance Brett Michael's isn't gonna like that I gotta be honest Brett Michael's fucking hated that do math instead of fucking that's not the Brett Michael's I didn't think the flowers

would win Brett Michael's over but damn yeah I think if we have to go between dead flowers and math Brett Michael's picks dead flowers so that's one point for April zero points for Brockway but this game will continue as we go through

his bibliography wait was that the whole game I thought I was gonna have to like role play like that's just round one we're gonna do several more rounds and then in 45 minutes we'll see who the greatest romance champion is and

you think I mean you have a very romantic themed career but Brockway's a tender lover a giving famously romantic man alright Brockway prove it yes I am the prince of seduction I have that

tattooed across my belly after he wrote this book and just like crushed it one year later he wrote 1001 more ways to be romantic and this was very literally the exact same book but he was just exhausted with from ideas

like he used every idea he'd ever had in his entire life to get a thousand ways to be romantic so this next book was just like Kathy comics and just like random multi paragraph quotes from articles and books it's just nonsense is number 69 just by two flowers a day

I could check I have it handy we're not gonna do a book game in all of these books but we can see what 69 is in this oh my god it's he started at 1001 so it'll technically it's a literal sequel

yeah we pick up the story it says think like a married person strategy number three communicating have you ever noticed that single people often do a lot of talking without really communicating much oh yeah and then that's just goes on like that for like

two paragraphs so the secret to romance is communication I don't know if he invented that but it seems really really smart to me well he's just being judgy now I fucking hate Godek so much I just hope that comes through if he started in his

like late 20s and this is book two he's like 30 and being like these goddamn kids don't communicate it's true I did feel that from 20 to 30 so I kind of really yeah I maybe he's on to something I don't know I just saw one 1353 is

FM shoes I think he might mean fuck me shoes unless they're like radio shoes like a radio in it like let's note thing I call radio shoes secret to romance the sports illustrated football

phone that's the other thing about him I should mention he's like really square but also like super straight laced and coy like so he won't say fuck he won't he barely even said sex he'll like call it whoopie or you know nobody's getting anything in the butt

a thousand ways to romance nothing's going in the butt let's just get that out of a thousand you don't even run out of options and be like alright alright number 998 the but I guess birthday yeah I guess I'll put a thing like number three

if it's the Mazda drive time event I will put a finger in your butt sweetheart alright that one got me in the mid 90s he kept going with romance 101 in 1993 which was sort of more of a schoolbook sort of theme to the thing

it wasn't just a random list of nonsense and then 1994 he did the portable romantic which was exactly 1001 ways to be romantic like word for word just cut down to a smaller book then he did the lover's bedside companion

a slight variation of the previous book I mentioned then a year after that he did loving a journal of our relationship and it's just a bunch of blank pages with a couple of quotes on the side this is the fastest anybody has ran of ideas

he's like he's got like 30 more years doesn't he yes we have we are in 1995 and he's writing books like today oh my god and he's still going how much does he have like 30 I would say

30 bucks is safe he does a lot of reissues and he changes the word the changes the title but I mean they're published in all these different countries and so it's hard for me to just go on Amazon to get every book he's ever written but I think I might have because I'm sitting by a pile of at least 25 books so

you are easily and this is the saddest thing easily is number one fan easily without question so this next book is called 365 ways to be romantic which you'll notice it's a smaller number than

1001 and in fact is more or less taken from that book so basically this is just a book where he took out 650 of the options to be romantic so we're actually going to do another book game for this one I don't this one I'm

going to be Supreme Court Justice Brett Kavanaugh so you're going to be trying to seduce Supreme Court Justice Brett Kavanaugh with one of the 365 ways to be romantic so pick a number between one and 365 Brock while you're trailing so you go first this time

okay 217 right right square kind of in the middle alright the meat of it oh this is from a chapter called for women only oh shit you've already lost

now you can't even read it you have a good point it was send him a perfumed love letter so like let's just that'll be your mulligan that one doesn't count so try again please alright maybe maybe start strong and gets weak about 42 okay

42 chocolate this is from a chapter called chocolate and it says chocolate there's just something about it isn't there while I firmly believe that romance shouldn't be used as a bribe to curry favors a box of great chocolates

is an incredibly well received gift isn't it yeah that's why they sell them unlike Valentine's Day chocolate is a very appropriate love gift god damn it codec that's 42 that's 42 and he's like oh shit chocolate wait this is basically like 1042

also isn't it there's no way this is gonna work on Brett Kavanaugh it's not feet stuff alright April if you can beat just the generic idea of chocolate then you'll have a second point I'm very curious as to what the

first one is okay like what is he starting off with his next just the opener the strongest one like what do you say to keep me going do the bun stuff

number one is butt stuff dive in deep quick it just says advanced butt stuff make it basic it says make a toast to one another every time you hold a wine glass make eye contact

take turns making the toast whisper it I gotta be honest if the other person's already passed out from drinking I feel like that's a Brett Kavanaugh thing I bet you'd be saying this to an unconscious Brett Kavanaugh

the whisper he would probably appreciate cause he's sleeping I think he would also like you intruding upon his face without his consent so I think chocolate and the creepy whisper every time she drinks

yeah that's a Kavanaugh move that's the old D.K. strong Kavanaugh move so that is two points for April O'Neill and zero points for Robert Brockway I'm getting schooled again she's good

she's a winger I came to point I'm gonna move on through the late 90s and he released a book in 1996 called Loving a Journal of Our Relationship again

which is a slight variation of the previous Loving a Journal of Our Relationship which was blank is this the blank one? okay let me find it we were gonna do a book game for this one wait did you write in it? it says

make doctors phone number from Under the Bridge Sal Shawn you're not supposed to share your journal with us you asked that's what it says you're right I'm so sorry first good tip I've learned today thank you for sharing your private thoughts with us

it actually says why be romantic? why bother? simple it will improve the quality of your life like he's defending the very concept of the thing they bought the book for if you get any length into this book you're gonna be like fuck everything about this

you can negate yourself good business plan yeah I didn't actually write in it it's a completely blank book I'd say about 30% of the pages have little quotes on them it's as close to nothing

as anyone and it is $7.95 that's what it reads I got it for one penny he really is the next year he wrote love the course they forgot to teach you in school

which is very much like a relationship seminar workbook so he's taking the stuff he knows how to clumsily fuck and trying to turn that into like a classroom setting it's very bad I tried to do an article on it once

and it was just so dry and so stupid I mean it's almost like it's fine for space aliens who just landed here and need to seduce a wife well maybe that's the science I guess you could yeah I do think that's a potential audience for this

the next year he wrote your romance books presented as like a text book as possible right because that's fun everyone loves homework studying is the best it's like sweetheart I love you

and I love our passionate lovemaking but you know what might make this more fun if we sort of like had word searches and homework first lecture I do women love to get lectured before

romance don't they or just in general it's just page 37 through 101 it's just a long lecture you can read to your lover lay down sweetheart explain to you the history of love and chocolate

so the next year he wrote confessions of a true romantic which is basically a relationship seminar workbook it is I would say 95% the exact same words as the previous book just released under a different name

later that same year it's kind of like the Taco Bell menu of romance exactly he's just hanging in the back one tube of dog food one tube of sour cream I can make 46 things out of this depends on how I layer them

this is not a taco rito this is a chile rito junior let's see I have completely lost track of where we are talking about Taco Bell you got me so hungry later that same year in 1997 he wrote romantic mischief romantic fantasies and romantic dates

and these are all just thematic clips from ways to be romantic it's six years later and he's still chopping chunks out of that fucking book and repackaging the exact same words I was hoping it was an epic trilogy it is not in fact some of these

I did an article on two of these and they have a lot of crossover like something might count as mischief and fantasies so he'll just have them in both he doesn't care and I guess if you want to save eight bucks though because these I think were 6.95 whereas thousand one ways to be romantic was 14.95 obviously

if you got them at borders but they're a penny on Amazon if anyone wants to buy any of these they're all a penny on Amazon later that same year he was really busy in 1997 he wrote intimate questions which is just like stupid shit you can ask on a first date I love those

yeah so you'd appreciate it if a guy was on a date with you and he had a lot of romantic questions for you tell me your dreams I'm that person that likes to play those games like what's the weirdest thing I can ask you

like what's the worst thing you've ever done in your life or like what's the last time you got to somebody like weird little intimate things like that I always think are fun maybe not on a date do you thoroughly check the backseat of your car every time

see these are really romantic questions right and I do think we all see the appeal of the thing that he is going for but I don't think there's a person alive who needs it like who wouldn't like you develop that skill all on your own right

like asking questions and saying I want to learn this information so I'll ask this question so it feels like it's for space monsters it's for someone who just doesn't understand like well let's hear a question maybe they're way better than the ones I've got put you your food in the morning

tell me up and down but a little side to side sometimes I like to sit on it I don't I just pork it like a duck did you say pork it like a duck I said pork it like a duck just right down my throat

oh pork it yeah that's hot so let's see what's the weirdest one in there I don't even know if I have that one handy just find any one just close your eyes and flip just flip

I think I might have that book over on the shelf oh my god they're so bad I'll read something from the lover's bedside companion I just realized that you're probably in a more comfortable position and not just sitting on the floor with stacks of books around you that are his which is how I imagined

it in my head I thought standing up with like a huge diagram across a wall and like strings tracing he's actually going through a PowerPoint presentation that we can't see at all but it's just for him we keep just fucking derailing it

I'm like running around happy Syria alright so I can't find the I'll buy it later for a penny we're kind of squatting in a temporary home before we like buy a new home post pandemic and so my office is basically

just a pile of garbage right now is it mine too yeah mine always is generally I like to have my books really well organized so I can find them but now it's like when I sit down and do research for an article the Godek shelf

yeah there's always a Godek shelf but now the Godek shelf is just in different piles of filthy garbage which is I guess where they belong so thanks pandemic later that same year Godek started another thing that he fucking shouldn't have and it's called love coupons

so he made coupons in 1997 and these are like when you were like a child and you were doing arts and crafts for your parents yeah I beat him I beat him to that by like several years I did that shit when I was 8 yeah these are fucking straight up like free hug coupons

that like he packaged as like retail products so love coupons in 1997 and then later that same year he did I love you dad slash I love to golf coupons because he well this took a turn yeah the other thing about Godek is he was responsible for the incest

I know he thought we had a going here this change quick yeah one free tiny handed hand job father like whoa whoa Godek but another thing about Godek

I might cut that out of the fuck ass it's really fucking dark I like lose my perspective on what's appropriate with Godek I get fucking red with rage does quickly destroy standards of morality in Godek

yeah the thing about Godek is like this I love to golf because it's a dad is is his like um hardcore adherence to like gender roles so you have to understand all the context of these ways to be romantic is not like find what your partner loves and do that for them

it's your guys a dude so get him a power drill that kind of like really insecure like masculinity and also I should mention that Godek seems kind of like a pussy like he's he's got like that the fruitiness of this like romance guru

that you wouldn't think would try so hard to like reinforce all these like old timey stereotypes but he does and yet he looks like a trapped leprechaun like a leprechaun losing his magic can I can I look up at what he looks like

see if we're painting an accurate picture but I feel like I need to I'm curious but my keyboard I'm mechanical keyboard it's so loud it will sound like I'm firing a shotgun if I type anything he's not the plastic surgeon right he's kind of like got thin lips

and like not chubby cheeks but like cherubic oh man I found his young man headshot where he's trying to be seductive oh my god it's just all Sean it's a good way to find shots of Sean baby if you need to know what Sean looks like

just go this guy looks fucking weird ruggedly handsome but with strange like 90s era punk rock hair he looks like a he kind of looks like Morrissey I guess I could see that

maybe it's just the hair kind of like a shrink wrapped Morrissey yeah definitely like a shrinky dink Morrissey that didn't fully develop Godek is now making love coupons and I'm sorry real fast a picture of Mr. T and Sean baby came up

that was like one of the happiest moments in my life was when I met Mr. T I was so genuinely excited yeah and he was he talks so fast and he's so excited and he was dancing the whole time and like I'm trying to be polite cause you know he's look like he had things to do

and he's like no we should go get some dinner I got a plate and he pointed to the giant plate hanging from his necklace and anyway I I'm in love with Mr. T it made me so happy I saw a solid gold Hummer when I was living in Portland

I forget who it was one of my friends said Mr. T lives here I bet that's his and I got so excited and I learned later it was Anthony Kitas oh I know almost anything's a let down if you're expecting Mr. T and it's not Mr. T though yeah

polar opposite of Mr. T April are you just Google imaging me now yeah sorry now I'm just there's a picture of you my friend George George Oz he did like a he writes a book I don't know I know he like writes a book and does a podcast

but it's one of those like oh that's right you do stuff Godak once he had the idea for love coupons in 1997 and I love you dad golf coupons in 1997 he decided in 1998 to branch out and do I love you coupons he's just taking a word away each time yeah it's just moving shit around

talk about then he released what might be his greatest bad book like one of the worst books it's ever been it's called 10,000 ways to say I love you so not qualified for this he should have known this was

too daunting for his mind but this is what we're going to do our next book game in is 10,000 ways to say you're trailing so you're going to pick 21 and 10,000 and

you're trying to seduce this time Godak's actual wife whatever we imagine Godak's actual wife to be I picture something made mostly at a pizza about 600 pounds of pizza that just no surrealist absurdity I just picture

a very tired woman just just somebody that has to brace themselves every time he starts to say something just stop writing books I've got to choose right towards the end

feel like he might save the last hundred or so is like I got to finish strong so like right before the end you're using my first strategy 80,000,000,000,000 it's 16

8,500 16 passionate intimacy without commitment is short lived is that a tip I I think it's just defining defining

sentence is like unless something doesn't have a subject it's just nonsense this dude fucking thinks that's like wisdom it's just explaining what commitment means you know without the commitment it doesn't last as long Webster's dictionary defines law I mean his wife probably

likes that maybe we'll see if you can top that April it's out of 10,000 great out of 10 fucking thousand okay I'm gonna go with 6,969 nice

that's gotta be a good one you'd think surely Donna by Richie Valance that's just a song called Donna by Richie Valance is his wife named Donna please let

his wife named Donna it's from a subsection called favorite love songs from 1959 you can't it's just a fucking name as love advice you can't post a catalog of music

these are the love songs that came out in 1959 and he got a lot it starts at 69,67 and it goes until 69,79 and then the next 11 are

love quotes from Shakespeare and then just random Shakespeare quotes he's really calling it in isn't he he was so certain that people would give up like this is almost a good strategy to like start off okay and then just drive people away

until you can phone it in what standards would anyone have ever judged this by like certainly you'd give this to someone as a gift no one would say like oh I need this book in my life and what are they gonna call you up like a few weeks later and say hey read that book you got me from others day and you know fuck you that's a piece of shit book

I guess I just don't know what the fail condition is for a book like this because if there was one he would be obviously I think it's automatic yeah maybe because I don't think anyone has 10,000 good ideas to say I love you without eventually resorting

just you know Richie Valensong you know it's a disaster you know what's crazy though I do think April won that round too because Godek's wife would probably prefer a love song to someone just walking up and explaining what commitment meant I'm just

his wife's name is Donna and that just really worked out for me because like I tried looking it up and I can't figure out her name so I'm pretty sure it's pizza oh yeah but that's all good ol Donna pizza

that's her full name Brockway I will actually give you a free bonus win if you can get a pizza entry within three guesses okay this is a catch up mechanic I designed into this game because otherwise April's just gonna run away with it

300 300 uh no no no 297 297 put a romantic CD in a Walkman attach a note play me how do you attach a note if you put it in the Walkman

like on top and you close it yeah you just put play me on it then your husband or wife just sighing heavily and being like where's my go-goo doll CD that I used for the run you know I don't want to listen to this while I go for a run right I had plans that's why I picked up

the fucking Walkman uh fine that's one miss 4812 4812 give your lover your undivided attention damn I thought he was gonna say pizza

give your lover your undivided pizza God that's awful that's under a section 16 listening skills for lovers alright 666 nice very dangerous good choice

I'm selling my soul to the devil discover cozy little ends that's your pizza you can't get a fucking pizza in a cozy little end that's the opposite of pizza you lose another round 3-0

just getting fucking demolished over here I'm gonna have to cover up this belly tattoo do you know how expensive that's gonna be prance of seduction prance of sedition we're now in the 2000s and Godek is still

9 years after his massive success writing the same goddamn book over and over and over so in 2000 he writes the lover's companion romantic inspiration and creative ideas which is the same book he wrote in 1994 but without the word bedside in it

like word for word the exact same book but he changed the title did he remove every instance of bedside was it just like that's the problem it's just like this weird foible just like an OCD thing he's like I gotta re-release this book with no bedside

no bedside that was the problem that's why it wasn't a hit he then wrote romantic essentials that same year a bunch of romance tips without any rhyme or reason enchanted evenings the next year called 323 nights out to remember

intimate questions 459 ways to bring you closer which is again the same book of just questions from a couple years ago with a new title then he wrote the love quotes coupon books which is again more free coupon books but now we're in 2001

and can you think of anything that happened in 2001 that Godek might have wanted to chime in on was that the matrix sequel was it 9-11? he did 1001 ways to celebrate America yeah I knew it

he finally branched off yep he finally branched off into a second book idea and it was to shamelessly cash in on the patriotic what's the publishing date on that let's see

I feel like we can nail down how long it takes him to write a book it does not say just 2001 publishing date so I mean he would have had to get it in right when the plane hit the tower as soon as the tower started collapsing he's at his typewriter

and I don't doubt that that happened because this is a pretty even for him this is a pretty thrown together book so we're gonna do another book game show baby book game in 1001 ways to celebrate America this time I am macho man Randy Savage

and you're trying to fuck me surely this is my time if I've ever had a time this could be your comeback so we'll let April go first so you can like really prepare how many are there?

1001 sorry I don't have any information about that thanks google set up your google play google had to get in on dunking on this son of a bitch hey google pick a number between one and one thousand and one now she doesn't want to make me

now she's like I was told to shut up hey google 1001 we're gonna work again just ducked out the one upstairs answered this is fucked up you got ghosts hey google

pick a number between one and a thousand and one 339 339 weird sounds she also made she gets to use robots this is cheap these aren't numbered so I feel like this is gonna help you

go far picking what do robots know about romance love is their one weakness it's the thing that always fries their circuits these aren't numbered so you need to pick a number between one and two hundred fifty and those are the page numbers god damn it

I'm sorry to disrupt you like that alright, 69 it's been doing me for me so far it's been doing good work remember these are 1001 ways to celebrate America there's three on this page start eating more healthfully start a scrapbook

start each day with a smile jesus christ macho man macho man like the last one not super impressed I think you got this one man alright between one and one and two fifty

still 112 112 okay this one's great I think you might win this one it says party on then it says tupperware parties frat parties dance parties

birthday parties political parties attend a national political convention participate in a national political convention as a delegate oh you've lost it you're really so good yeah macho man tupperware oh yeah

frat sure sure dance parties birthday sure political okay attend a national political convention alright well my my day rate is eight grand to show when you gotta get my play ticket but sure sure as a delegate macho man wouldn't mind

being mayor I think that's a win for Brockway I think that's a solid unquestionable role playing that was beautiful macho man had to talk himself into it I want to invite him to a tupperware party I feel like he'd have a good time

he would but it is it's eight grand is his appearance fee is he gonna bring eight grand worth of tupperware cause that shit gets expensive congratulations you would definitely win that one finally I mean if there is any scenario

in which I am more qualified at romance it is only an exclusively fucking macho man I love to it's just a page about parties and then his fucking brain threw up parties like tupperware parties political parties

yeah and then like he just went from there fourth of july party fifth of july party oh my god I could go through the whole book like this fucking I don't know why Godek sort of talks like macho man now they've merged so now we're in

the late 2000 he took four years off from writing books as far as I know there might be more that I just couldn't find but he wrote romantic questions 264 outrageous sweet and profound questions if this sounds familiar it's cause he's written this book three different times with three different titles then he wrote

201 ways to be romantic which is just the same fucking book with a different number instead of a thousand one again each time it's less he's whittling it down though really getting the chaff out of there so then he wrote you're not gonna believe this

love coupons in 2006 he wrote love coupons so we're gonna do another we're gonna do another real quick book game this one doesn't have numbers on the pages or the coupon so I'm just gonna flip through and you're gonna have to tell me to stop so Brockway you're

trailing so you're gonna go first I'm gonna start flipping now tell me when to stop stop a romantic movie night oh wait I forgot to tell you we're gonna start over because I didn't tell you you're trying to seduce yeah who am I trying to fuck here I always need to know

yes it's very important this time the two of you are trying to seduce me the internet's me the actual me it's a good thing for you to do over man yeah because that one wasn't gonna work on me so here we go flipping through

stop no kids no work just us you would redeem this coupon for a whole day devoted to the most important thing love no work in all clay will make for a memorable day sometimes romance just happens

strong but you love your work I do love my work sometimes romance just happens but you have to plan for it schedule the whole day until this romance just happens it ain't today here's a coupon

that's fun it just happens we're tired wife trying to find space for all these coupons that you can't redeem Robert I really got a lot to do can you redeem the coupon a different day I'm free Sunday how much anxiety would that induce

I'm like a really busy person they have this coupon book any minute you could just have to do one of these things the other thing to consider is this is 2006 before like a smart phone if you gave this coupon today that would sort of imply

you don't get to fuck around on your phone this is a romance day it would legitimately be chemically painful for a lot of people to try this that's like the modern day coupon is a day with me without your phone or something in any given day

I'm going to be generous here and say like four and a half hours of romance and then I'm just like I have to poop at some point so you're going to give me this coupon with a qualification that you're going to be pooping in four hours here's a romance coupon but caveat

see that's the romance coupon I want you go in the bathroom have a good poop I will bother you thank you I don't feel like that worked on you very well that's the coupon to beat I'm going to start flipping tell me when to stop go

okay now decadent dessert coupon redeemable for a heaping helping of your favorite goodies pick your indulgence and the coupon giver will make it happen kiss in unexpected places well that one that one's two different things

why did it take I don't know they say like there's like a little zinger on all of them I don't know was the implication that he's going to like put the dessert somewhere does the dessert go on you in you I guess you're just

like buying the ice cream or whatever like that's an actual coupon I mean at the very least that's pretty good that has a monetary value that's true you could trade that in for actual money

that's probably worth like 450 bucks so let's see the offer on the table is ice cream and making out or four hours of non poop theoretically unlimited making out

but I'm not allowed to like look at my phone or work I gotta give it to April I think it's a four to one she's running away with this game you can look at your phone while you eat your dessert I don't fucking care

there better be some I don't know some fucking golden snitch at the end of this where I can just like come back or else I'm just dying I have to just live out my death from here to the end of the episode you got the like extra points

for the Randy Savage one because that was like the best one I think I mean that's the one that's most important to me I feel like I've I've fulfilled myself that was the full game there will be no more bookies okay

that's the romantic thing for me to do you're having this coupon for fly fucking pity slap it in the air and storm out coupon for a free romance tie so continuing on I have no idea how to do transitions

on podcasts so anyway we're done with that bit where we had some laughs in 2007 Godek came out with your relationship report card which is the exact same book as the other ones that were like trying to turn love into school and they know he's actually

putting grades on the line the most romantic part of school yeah well I didn't tell you but the other books did come with a relationship report card so he was just like you know I gotta take that part of the book and just make that its own book but all he did is change the title of the book

of the book that had a report card in it do you imagine how much trouble you'd be in if you gave literally anything below like a B honey I'm gonna give you a D on this one and not the good not the good kind so this is

where he's at now he's just just taking the same thing and then in 2009 I'll give you one guess what book he put out it's got two words in the title just shout it out if you think you know it the end love coupons oh god damn it

you wrote a book called love coupons different from the previous love coupons final book but he did later that same year write how to be mildly brilliant the fucking record just scratched on the entire world

I like that he at least had the decency to put mildly he's trying to stay humble this fucking book is just a bunch of fables about a character named simple simon who like learns little lessons like a child

might but fables like already exist so he's writing like books about how to like learn lessons that are that there's already fables based on you know what I mean so none of these fables star simple simon the most important important

and about the author section he says and I quote is the world's leading authority on simplicity it's an elusive place where simplicity and complexity intersect to create brilliant solutions so this guy's been fucking eating his own shit for so many years

about how like he's smart and wise but also very very basic and stupid and so he's decided that that now is this folksy wisdom that he walks around with is now like this fucking outside of romance really good and so he's trying to sell

himself as if he's been the leader of this simplexity movement for many years and there's maybe only one person in the world who knows without question that's complete and total fucking bullshit and that's me and I promise it is most people would pick this up and say like

oh this guy must be a speaker that speaks about simplexity no he's not this is a guy who speaks about one thing and I just made it very clear by going through all the books he's written he had one fucking idea and here he is trying to be like no no no I have a second idea he doesn't so

but he really it's really the same idea because he had one book idea and he took him 45 years to write it right so that was simple and complex at the same time you might have a point really just saying it takes somebody a bunch of steps to do something really easy

which is kind of the definition of stupid yeah I suppose yeah I mean if this guy isn't stupid then like we need to just remove that word from the language like he's so obviously stupid but he's not necessarily wrong so it's hard to say like he's it just took him

a long time to be right sure I guess it sounds like a genius to me he might be history's greatest genius it is kind of genius to make up a concept and then insist you're the world's foremost expert on it right especially when it's like not impressive

in any way it's like it's like I am the world's foremost expert on fucklacity that's fucking and elasticity well he's got just a couple more left he did in 2011 he wrote I love you coupons which was a book about

you're not gonna believe this well so he was a he wrote one book on this simplexity thing I don't think it went well the punctuation of I love you coupons I think it's all lower case yes but like is it is it like

I love you in quotes or is it like no no I love you it's like I love you is it like I love you he really loves coupons I don't think he's speaking to the coupons but just checking

he might be but the great thing about this simplexity thing is the book really made it look like this was a movement he uses like the he uses we a lot like our mission is simplexity and we are all like he's he's sort of talking about like he's got this this group of simplexity

people but again he does not so he gave that up he went back to the love coupons then he wrote bring food arrive naked which I don't think he ever released at this point this is four years after like I dominate his entire google results so at this point

he has to know just one page just the cover page just a postcard bring food arrive naked and flip it over and says that's it that's fucking it make fun of that Sean baby dick and then this is the last book I want to talk about and this one is fucking fantastic

because he does actually now try another thing he wrote a book called a hard days night a rock n roll erotic romance this was in 2016 is that like that not the fucking lamest book title you've ever heard I love it

I'm just so excited he's gonna write fiction so he co-wrote it with a girl named Anastasia Winters he had to either he made that up or she made that up don't get too far ahead but I think you're right

so I looked up Anastasia Winters and all I could find was a pencil drawing of her and she seems like like a cute 20 something right and yeah like her Amazon her Amazon profile is just a pencil drawing

and a long rambling thing about how she's been like it's like really cute and she's like I've been like a romance writer for years but only published once I'm working with a Gregory Godic he was on Oprah OMG there's no yeah there's something about the OMG where I'm like this shit I called you out

yeah immediately you immediately busted Godic on this and then she makes reference to like Bridges of Madison County which I think is kind of like before my time like he she's making references that are 30 years removed from her perspective and

it has like a really phony like teen type of and not even like impactful references it's not like something that would rebound down generations that's something you had to be there to think exactly like no one's gonna just fucking come across that on Amazon Prime

I wouldn't even think to mention that like you say that oh yeah that movie happened and so she calls herself a reclusive but naughty girl and so don't try to find not real

she has a lot of like deleted blog posts but every single one of the blog posts I found them like on the archive.org and they're all like conversations she has with Godic where they're both like so witty and like playing off each other in the exact same voice like it couldn't have been more suspicious

so she has a twitter and she has about six followers her twitter handle is really hoping she had more followers than Godic she does not and all of her tweets are related to Godic like hey this books coming out you should look at this book

hard days night rock and roll erotic romance and like nothing about her life or the movies she sees or like retweets or anything this feels like a Garth Brooks Chris Gaines type deal maybe but I think he was genuinely

going for this like I really want to just reach a younger audience so I'll just invent a person he thought the only problem the only reason he wasn't able to speak to young girls is that he wasn't a young girl himself but he can fix that

which is absolutely like the sex criminal with the power of imagination anybody can be a young reclusive but not a girl so that is what Godic is like up to that was four years ago so that's like what he's up to basically current day is he's pretending to be

a young girl to like the delight of no one he's now in a stage of winters right really working on that six follower count should have just it bumped up to seven today I'm telling you

best of luck Godic we'll get to at least ten after this podcast I just I wanted to share with you the saga of Godic and how he went from bestselling author Oprah guest frequent media appearances to just pretending to be a teen girl

and getting no attention for it and that's like it's such a dark and scary story but I also I do sort of feel a little guilty about making fun of him so much like I've written like five articles just about him and I'm

fucking mean and I just it's nice to get reassured that this is the biggest this is why he invented an entirely new identity he could not stand being himself anymore with what you've done to him and now you found his new identity he's not even saying

he'll have to burn down his life again yeah he just bought so many pencil skirts too so that's Godic he wrote one book 70 times and when he tried to write different books he wrote one about 9-11 not about 9-11 but just trying to cash in on 9-11

one about being the world's leading fable writer and then one as a teen girl that has it I mean that title is straight out of the 50s a hard days night rock and roll romance that's ridiculous so that's it that's what I want to talk about today

that was a long sad ride but I loved it I learned something new we did it I just want to bring back love coupons let's try that I'm gonna get some love coupons out let's go out reading some of these love coupons

Sean baby love coupons I would be happy to I think people would really like that let's see what is the ultimate bubble bath coupon how about this one you're entitled to one luxurious bubble bath what would be your ideal love coupon

whew it would probably be like I don't want to say anything it's dark it's like just being left alone for a while but like that's kind of like yeah like I think that's where everybody's mind went just leave me alone for like 20 fucking minutes

yeah sex and then leave me alone that's the love coupon do not cuddle me after sex go get the ice cream yeah yeah turn the TV back on this coupon says

don't be fucking awkward yeah don't be fucking awkward get out of the room without saying a fucking word and we both know you have to do that because of the coupon because that would be awkward in itself if I was with a woman and she just ran into the shower and be like oh god what

is that what she has to say I do poop a lot during sex I don't have the control of Brockway romance master Brockway every four hours like clockwork and I make love for four hours in two minutes it's nothing that stops me

my one weekend I feel like I learned so much about you for meeting you for the first time yeah this is a really in-depth discovery I do think if two people got together on a date and read like a go-deck book

and just picked random go-deck quotes you'd know each other better after that date than most you'd know each other very well but you would be just so turned off the idea of romance it would end with a handshake and maybe a little ironic salute you'd have to use the awkward love coupon

at the end of the night just to get through it yeah we'll hang out again but no we could have some cranky anal in the bathroom but nothing romantic only because he never mentioned it also I went through your list of films April

I did not see cranky anal in the bathroom once so congratulations no I think that's a good thing no now I really want to make that actually I'm telling you these are ideas they're gonna make cranky you should re-listen to this episode

and just take notes thank you you're welcome I would really love to co-write a pornographic film based on 1001 Ways to Be Romantic where we took his really square ass tips and wrote them into a movie

and played them very straight one guy gives a pizza to the woman not like in a super erotic way he's just like sweetheart I got your favorite flavor of pizza I hate to break a cube but I'm pretty sure they've done the pizza thing before but in a lewd way I'm saying

very original hey extra sausage on your pizza if she should roll her eyes at this point if a guy tries that I'm saying here's a heartfelt pizza a lot of Godek

tips are to get her a pizza with her choice of toppings like that's one of my favorite ones that gets repeated that's the ultimate sacrifice she's always like here and she has to use a special coupon to pick a topping love coupon number 54

I get to pick the pizza toppings if you use that coupon or you feel the need to use that coupon you have a black eye guaranteed that controlling man love coupon number 72 you get to watch the commercials from your favorite shop oh sweetheart

you spoil me alright I think this is more Godek than anyone should ever listen to but I want to thank you April for being on our podcast thank you for asking me of course you're a dear friend and I treasure our time together

do you have anything you'd like to plug before you go you could just visit apriloneal.com and that's got all the follow her on twitter your tag is undo un d e u x

damn that is a succinct plug we should do that visit 1900hotdog.com the end good luck good day sir thanks dude come on

you know the number 1900 1900 hotdog 1900 1900 hotdog 1900 1900 hotdog 1900

zero yeah not thousand Nick Rolston our theme song is by The Oral Nights