The Dogg Zzone by 1900HOTDOG - Dogg Zzone 9000 - Episode 40, No Right Answers with Karen Chu!

Episode Date: September 15, 2021

Seanbaby creates another perfect game that all parties involved understood and that you will too! Then he used it to pit the brilliant Karen Chu against the present Brockway to see who was... more right? It's unclear! Perfect!

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9000 Welcome to the Dog Zone 9000 The podcast for the outrageous comedy website 1-900HOTDOG.com I'm today's host, TV's Sean Baby from the internet We have a wonderful guest for a very special episode featuring a high energy, high stakes battle of quiz called No Right Answers Championship Edition

I'm joined by the host and showrunner of the Good Job Brain podcast She's a nationally ranked crossword puzzler and marathoner A big winner on ABC's trivia game show The Chase A craftswomen designer and polyglot from One Up and Twitch A new mother and true Renaissance woman The beautiful and lovely Robert Brockway Hi, I'm so glad you got everything You got absolutely everything I've ever done

What a good job And our special guest today He is Robert Brockway, Karen Chu Woo, yo yo yo yo yo yo That is me, Robert Brockway Now, it's great to have you We've been friends for many years and I guess at One Up we were sort of colleagues

And before another of my elegantly designed podcast quiz showdowns goes off the rails Let's talk about what you're up to and tell the people where to see your stuff Oh, thank you You know, I have no idea what I'm in store for Sean, you did not warn me nor give me any clues on what's going to happen

For the record, I have no idea either I'm terrified and maybe aroused I don't know what I'm doing Now, Karen does the Good Job Brain podcast which is a great podcast with our friend Chris Kohler And really solid I'm really jealous of how much better mine is I just want to warn you

I'm already envious 100% of your games have gone off flawlessly Yeah, I'm known around here as the game guy Game master He's got the Game Master hat and monocle Well, thank you guys for having me Hello, everybody My name is Karen

And yes, I am the showrunner for the Good Job Brain podcast I am a newish mother And I was recently on the game show The Chase where I was pretty mediocre But I won So, you know what, haha I was watching that with my fiance and we agreed that your questions were pretty rough

except you did get one where they asked you like what like a fussy white woman is or what do you call a fussy white woman And of course it was Karen and you're sitting there with a fucking name tag that says Karen It was just fantastic You know, for that moment I, you know, I kind of blacked out

I'm not really a TV show personality person and I kind of just blacked out the whole experience but I somehow recall they might have kind of paused the game to, you know, there's a third party auditor on game shows, right? And I think they probably were like we got to check this

This is a little bit too much of a coincidence We got to phone in the booth and see what's going on It wasn't intentional It was legit Yeah, it was not It was completely accidental, I guess I thought it was harassment

but it was just a lucky coincidence So the auditor thought it could be that like you had an insider on the show who like threw you an easy question And you were the worst at it You were the worst at it The worst hidden question of all time Oh, yeah

It was just such a rush but it was also terrifying You know, you guys are pro hosts and personalities and what the industry calls talent I am just a person

who was available during COVID that would fly down to LA to tape So you took a bunch of their money Yeah, I did The winner's you, the real winner I noticed lately you've been doing a lot of shoe making, which is exactly what it sounds like

if you're listening So those look like impressive, fantastic shoes that you make like Mega Man shoes with like a little Mega Man guy and Mega Man colors People would probably pay like 1200 bucks for these shoes Not like those just giant

Oh, he would be honored to wear them He would fucking get way above everybody's shoes Not like the ones he does wear though, they're just giant formless boots Made out of steel Right, she doesn't make giant formless knee boots Yes, I make custom sneakers

from scratch, from actual pieces of leather that I cut out and I have all these fancy leather working machines and I actually make shoes which I learned the term for a shoemaker is not cobbler like we think of oh, okay, you know, shoemaking

they're cobblers, it's called cord wainers So I'm one of the chords You're a cord wainer Well, cord wainer Karen Chu, let me explain the rules of No Right Answers Championship edition It's a game of diverse knowledge and strong opinions

Now, a round begins with one of you playing as the answer blaster and the other one as the arbiter As the answer master, I have the correct answer. You give your answer and if you give me the correct answer, it's the right answer. If you give me the incorrect answer, it goes to the arbiter

who may, if they are compelled by your personal choice or persuasion declare your answer to be right and the answer master is incorrect So, for instance, the question may be, what's the best color? I, as the answer master, may have previously looked up surveys or studies

of consumer habits to discover the right answer to that question or I may have answered it myself based on my taste and lived experience. The point is I'm the answer master, I have the advantage and you need to defeat me using your gut and your passion as you will have 10 seconds

to give your response or risk for fate So, coming up with the correct answer is worth 3 points, coming up with a better right answer than mine is worth 5 points and remember that, that will be decided on by the arbiter. Now you're allowed to argue why your answer

is more right than my correct answer and the final judge will be the arbiter. Now, since you're competing and because of my charm you're obviously incentivized to always agree with me, the answer master. However if an answer blaster goes an entire round without convincing the arbiter to overturn an answer, they will win

the full point total for that entire round devastating blow to the arbiter. So, even if you never agree with your opponent or you value gamesmanship over honor, you must still judge in favor of them at least once. All rules void in 49 states Sorry, Tennessee, so to recap

it's family feud but Richard Dawson will not lick your mother's mouth in front of you. Okay. Okay, so the last game that you engineered and played was basically just Jeopardy and I did not understand it the entire time. There is

zero chance I'm going to remember or comprehend any of this at any point. Okay. To recap, I'm the answer master and I will ask one of you who will be the answer blaster just a question or a prompt and you just answer it as honestly

and in the best way possible. Now, it may be exactly what I had planned as the right answer or it may be better or it may be worse that will be decided by your opponent the arbiter and that will switch every round. So

are we all clear on the rules or unclear enough to get started? Unclear enough to get started, thank you. So let me tell you about the nine categories Karen, you're our guest. Would you like to be the answer blaster the arbiter first? I will blast some answers. Oh hell yeah.

Okay. So the nine categories for you to choose from are Combo Mashemups Culture and Crime Fun and Games Name That Animal Advanced Biology The Art of Acting

Karen and Brock Way At The Movies History of Television and Arts and Entertainment I would like to choose Name That Animal Alright. Now I'm going to ask you a question. You'll have about

10 seconds to answer. I'm not going to be a big stickler on this. I have a correct answer prepared. You're going to try to top that. Now Brock Way will decide whether you did and of course if you match it then it's obviously the right answer. Now

there's another rule. The arbiter can steal. If you answer the way I predicted you would and we get the right answer Brock Way might say you know what I have a better answer but if he's right he gets the steal. We won't see a lot of that but here we go.

Your first question. What's the best pet for a monologuing James Bond villain? I mean your your regular Joe answer is going to be a hairless cat. You know like Skeletal

yet Wrinkly at the same time can I think of a better one? I mean if you're you know I feel like a parrot is also a good one but parrots gives you a way because they talk too much um Try to imagine

him incorporating the pet into his monologue. Oh I see. Okay. Just to get you on the same wavelength I was on. Okay so I think if that's the case I would think the pet would be capable of some sort of torture and

so uh I would put my money on sharks sharks with lasers just sharks. Let's just go with sharks. The correct answer was Portuguese Manawar. Now it goes to the

Arbiter. No I go with Portuguese Manawar. I like the Manawar and the sharks with lasers where Austin Powers right which is which is very different from me. I like your Bond villain to be. If uh any listeners are not animal nerds

the Portuguese Manawar sort of looks like an inflated rubber glove with like a million tentacles and it just dangles this tentacles through the water and they're all lit up so fish are like oh what's this cute light and then they get stabbed and paralyzed and then digested while they're still alive. I believe the is the Manawar

the Saipana 4. The one that is made up of thousands of creatures. Yes. It is not one animal. It is many animals. There's like eight dimensions he could take as monologue using using the Manawar so. You see Mr. Bond you are but one man.

I am a Saipana 4. Much like the Portuguese Manawar you see digesting a man behind you. You know whatever nerd fucking laser me. Okay Karen your next question. This is the animal with the highest cuteness and combat stats.

Okay so I'm gonna you know I feel like mammals are it's gonna be a mammal but what is what is. They're very cute and they can kill you. The countdown is stressing me out it's not a lot of time. I feel like I need to really marinate on this but

off the top of my head I'm gonna go with the duckbill platypus. And the reason being is they got a little poison. They're very cute. Yes and they have barbs on their webbed feet and so you're like oh it's so cute it's like

like a side duck from Pokemon but its barbs will poison you. Right. The correct answer is polar bear. Oh. I overrule. I go with Karen. I was going to say platypus and they are way cuter than polar bears.

I think everybody at this point knows to run from a polar bear. I think some people might not know to run from a platypus. And if you didn't know that there's no way you would think that creature would fuck you up. You would look at that and just joke. Let's go.

And then when you die you're owned by the weirdest animal. Everybody will laugh when they announce and he was tragically killed by that platypus and then by an adorable platypus. He was tragically killed by a polar bear pretty rad.

Right. His cuteness. Now I am fallible as the answer master and that proves it but that's a very good point and very fair play with various points for kills which animal has the highest level. I know. My answer would be

the horse who is I believe at this point in the world the quote deadliest animal. That's true. I think most people get killed in horse accidents or kicked or trampled

more than any other animal. I think maybe second place would be dogs. One thing is I don't think it was mentioned but I did write it did author a book about shark facts. Okay. And so I think one of the quizzes I had was

here are the list of 10 animals that are really deadlier than a shark by kills and I think number one and two are horse and dog but I'm gonna go with horse. We'll see if the arbiter agrees but the correct answer was mosquito. Oh. It's

maybe less direct I guess. They're more or less carrying disease from person to person. Whereas the horse is kicking you straight in the head and really getting that kill. Arbiter what's the call? Well that's tough one. Horse or mosquito? Who is deadlier?

Who is the deadliest warrior? Spartan versus ninja? Horse as the deadliest animal is way funnier than mosquito. That's a very good point. We have another element to think about is I like the directness of just the animal that is the most deadly

has gotten that by kicking you straight in the head. Yeah. Just running out there and I like the point that one mosquito there are just so many more mosquitoes which is why but one mosquito doesn't wear it which implies that one horse is out there just repeat kicking one dude after another

one horse has like 50 kills under his belt. Right. They frame the prompt as an RPG thing so a lot of systems you don't get the credit for the kill if they get killed by your dots. Yeah that's true. So the mosquito bites you you go off somewhere and die

it's not like the mosquitoes somewhere going like oh sweet I just leveled up it's like no no no. Yeah your damage over time attack is not going to get you with that experience I gotta go horse. I've been answered Blasted. Yeah. Your next question. Using comic book logic you're given all the powers

of an animal. Which one comes with the most good and bad? Horse. Barbara are going for an early steal. Oh. Comic book logic. Oh.

You know I'm going to go with the spider. Okay. So you would have like all the combat spiders Peter Parker but like the grotesqueness of a spider so no one would like you. Yes. I think I think the spider itself has so many abilities yet you're a spider.

Yeah. The correct answer was dung beetle. I will concede. That's perfect. Because you can you can roll your own food and live in it. Oh Karen you're going to hate this.

This game has a hidden trophy system and you just won. The fair enough trophy. I know you hate that phrase but that's yours now. The fair enough trophy for conceding to the answer blaster. Oh.

Trophies too. I'm going to be looking for those. All right. You don't have a for what it's worth. I do not have a for what it's worth. I'm going to take a stab at a trophy right now. Hey Sean fuck you. That's not on there.

Fuck you too. But you could guess. Good guess I should have put that on there. Karen the final question in the name that animal category. Assuming all animals are capable of experiencing suffering such as you and I.

Which animal was most betrayed by God? And before you say dung beetle in this hypothetical we also assume that shit tastes delicious. Should I give my reason as I give my answer or should I wait for your correct answer? There's no rules. You're the answer blaster. All right. So let me blast this answer

which is the male angler fish. You know angler fish is like I guess in Animal Crossing it's the football fish where it has the dangling light and it lives in the deep sea. So all of those instances where we see the angler fish is actually

the female because the male is so tiny. Like one centimeter tiny and what they do is they in order to mate with the female they bite onto the large male body

anywhere and they then get fused into and they become a body. Maybe this is not a bad idea actually. Maybe this is a good thing for some people. I think a lot of people have their pants off now like keep talking.

Yeah what happens next? They fuse and they become part of the female angler fish and the female angler fish just has it dangling several of them dangling around as kind of a sperm bank.

It's a ganger. It is. Oh man maybe this is not, never mind. Maybe that's talk yourself out of it. Yeah. Just absorbed in the art of love making into your mate. You know a female angler fish

does not have a more comic about that. For sure. A female angler fish can swallow something twice as big as her. So try to imagine that like digesting a thing that's whatever 200 pounds just over the course of many weeks.

It sounds kind of miserable. But also again I might have talked myself into it. I don't have a good answer. I'll just go with my original answer. Okay. The correct answer was Emperor Penguin which they seem cuddly but their only survivability is living somewhere

too shitty for anything else to go there and hunt them. They sit there and huddle in the cold for months and months at a time while their true love is off somewhere else catching fish so she can come back and puke it up and maybe the baby that they have after like

eight months of frigid cold. Who knows? Who knows? Where the baby came from. But yeah, I think if you look at it from a perspective of are these penguins capable of boredom and suffering like the March of the Penguins is a really sad film.

Yeah. Plus they got a lady hawk it. I mean you only ever see the other one when you're tagging out. Yeah, they sound like losers. Fuck you penguins. Is that a trope of fucking penguins? God, I wish. Such a lack of foresight.

This is just the first time we do the game. Next time we'll have a fucking penguins trophy. Okay, I'm writing that while I'm remembering that. So Arbiter, this is going to come down to your personal taste. The suffering of a penguin or the suffering of a male angler fish which is more profound.

Powerful erotic angler fish. This might be an opportunity for you to steal. I gotta go penguin. Gotta go penguin. All right, so you ended that round with 12 points. Very respectable. I think it's the first time anyone's done a round of this. Oh shit, that was the last. I should have stolen.

All right. So Brockway, do you remember the categories? Was there one that you're all ready to pick? Read them again. The movie one. Let's do the movie one. Okay, Karen and Brockway at the movies. Your first question

Answer Blaster Brockway. What is the best superhero movie? Very simple prompt. I was able to research it. I know the exact correct answer. Using any metric. The best superhero movie. But now I have to guess what metric you used.

The research would bear out Spider-Man 2? The correct answer was Spider-Man into the Spider-Verse. Yes! Sounds like the Arbiter agrees. Yes, I agree. I agree that it was better, but I was

just shooting for for what those idiots out there. It actually is. It does have the highest critical rating. And the highest user rating at Rotten Tomatoes. Seems like everyone loved that movie. I've probably seen it 50 times because my daughter loves it.

But yeah, I would agree. I think it's my favorite superhero movie. And Academy Award winning. And I also get partial points for getting the Spider-Man franchise. No. No partial points. No trophy for that kind of weasel and either.

Weasel trophy. Where are all your fucking trophies? No weasels, no fuck bangwits, no fuck you Sean. I'm out of ideas. Those are my three ideas. You're on the right track. There's a whole cluster of fucking trophies. You just haven't quite hit them yet.

Your next question. The opposite of the first one almost. What's the worst Rambo? It's the worst Rambo. Whichever one where he goes to Mexico. You have the correct answer is the best blood and that's exactly right. That better be the right one.

That is such a miserable movie. I might have actually mentioned this in the podcast. But he goes there every character in the movie dies except for Rambo and he really cares about them. So he's really sad. He gets completely clowned by like a Mexican street gang.

He just like walks into their territory and they immediately capture him and beat him up. Then he sets a bunch of comically impossible traps. And they all fall into them. And then he murders them while they're in the traps. Like just gruesomely. Let's get the camera up on that guy and watch like 40 bullets just shoot into his already dead body.

And What year was this? That was like last year. Like that was real recent. Long after we knew better. So we know what Rambo Killing Mexicans is about in that movie. How many Rambo's are there?

Five. Okay. One is critically claimed great. First blood is fantastic. Second one is he basically goes back to Vietnam and wins Vietnam. So it's very 80s.

We're going to correct this mistake. America's insecurity as a film. But also awesome because I'm an insecure American. So fuck yeah. Three is very bad. He like helps the Taliban. Then four is super awesome. He goes to Burma and just wrecks

a runs wild on the Burmese war criminals. Moving on though. Though very popular they shouldn't make a ride out of this movie. That's your prompt.

What's a very popular movie they should never make a ride out of? Shawshank Redemption. I like that answer. The correct answer was Silence of the Limbs. So we're going to go to the Arbiter. Hold on. I think Shawshank Redemption is a much worse ride

than Silence of the Limbs. It's like two days of digging. I think there would be a bucket drop like you get in a big bucket and then it's kind of an inverse of that catapult thing that shoots you up like you drop. There's a bucket drop in the silence of the limbs ride too. That's what I'm saying.

I think that would be fun. I think that would be a good ride. I think you could make a good ride out of that. I don't think there's any fun to be had out of a Shawshank Redemption. I feel like Shawshank Redemption gives you the correct venue and scale

for a ride. 100% you would need to have a tunnel of shit. A tunnel. Look through the cells. I imagine like old 70s animatronics as you pass by the warden's office and he shoots himself

and then you have the tunnel of poop that you go through and then at the end you would have to drive through a tunnel of shit. At the end you have it's almost like a flume ride where you have a big splash and that means you've made it. You're outside. The rain is cleaning you

off and then you get out of your vehicle and have a good... I would say coming out with pink eye. Can I do a steal? Let's hear it. I think

the worst ride... Okay, so let me think. I think the worst ride would be... Maybe that's a good ride. You always

talk yourself out of it. This is a movie and the only reason why I'm hesitant to share is because I don't know if a lot of people have seen it but it is the Bjork movie Dancer in the Dark

and that is a movie where you watch once. I'm so abysmal. And you never want to watch again. I guess maybe there is... But what would the ride look like? Take me through the ride. Yeah, let's hear it. The ride... I mean it's terrible. You just can't make

a ride out of it. I feel like... There's the end where spoilers Bjork... She gets hung. Maybe that's a drop ride? No, that's too grim. No, it's just such a sad movie.

It's beautiful and it's haunting and I don't think it should be made into a ride. You have to protect your kid. You're a single mom. The person you work for, you trust betrays you. And then you being a good person doesn't want to rat them out. Then you

get slapped with a death penalty. No, no, no. Yeah, if you would have made the hanging of Bjork a drop ride, I would have given it to you. But as it is, I think you found a movie that would be difficult to turn into a ride, but not necessarily

something you should specifically avoid. Okay. I tried. You tried? I tried. It was a good effort. Next question for the Answer Blaster. Name the three raddest vampire movies. John Carpenter's Vampires.

Recently watched that. Does not hold up. It rules. James Wood looks to Dracula and says, has your dick work good? It fucking gets the best. I will not accept

that that doesn't hold up. Tortures one of the other heroes. Yeah, it's fucking great. I think he's just playing himself. I think it's James Woods playing himself. I know, and it rules. John Carpenter's Vampires? 30 Days of Night

and oh man, Blood Red Sky. It's probably not on there, but it should be. It was so good. Fantastic. The correct answer was Blade 2 from Dusk Till Dawn and Lost Boys. We're going to go to the Arbiter. I actually wrote down

just so I have notes. I wrote down Dawn to Dusk as well. Oh, yes. Blade 2. I really like Blade 1. What happened in Blade 2, Sean? Blade 2, I liked because they stopped giving so much of a fuck.

Blade 1 is like, we're going to make the coolest vampire movie. Blade 2, it's like, what if half of it was pro wrestling and we had CGI ninjas and I really, I love the the actual attitude of that.

Again, that's personal choice. As the Answer Master, I'm allowed a lot of leeway. Also, good soundtrack for all of them, for all of the Blade movies. I also should make note, I had John Carpenter's Vampires in my

parentheticals, meaning I could slot it into the game should I choose to at the last minute. Because I do love John Carpenter's Vampires. Despite it just being miserable to look at now. Brock, can you give me your 3 again? 30 Days of Night

and Blood Red Sky. They're all fucking badass. Pop was raddest. I, you know, I'm disappointed that both of you guys didn't put what we do in Shadows. Which I, you know, it's rad.

It's funny, but maybe it's not rad. Would it wear sunglasses and skateboard? No, I would side with you, Brockway. I think the movies you chose are a little bit

tad more rad. Awesome. I feel like I lost you at Blade 2, and that's the risk of this game. The final question in your category, Brockway. You have to build a house using only copies of one movie's soundtrack.

What is it? Now think about everything you'd need that to be. You'd need it to be ubiquitous, durable, rad. It would help if it was rad. Whatever you want out of a building material. That's your prompt.

It has to be ubiquitous. Right. If you pick Dancer in the Dark, you might only be able to get like 9 copies of Dancer in the Dark. A lot of copies, but probably I would need a lot of copies back in circulation. I'm going to say Pulp Fiction.

The correct answer is Purple Rain. I don't think anybody's given that up. How am I going to find those? It is one of the top selling albums of all time. There's like 20 million out there. If anybody sold that or got rid of that, they're a dead person.

They're dead inside. I heard about this project and they wanted someone to live in a house made entirely out of Purple Rain albums. I didn't think about charity. Human charity, right? I thought it would have to be just picking up the drake. I thought a lot of people would invest in Pulp Fiction, which is a good soundtrack,

but a lot of people would probably get rid of it. And also it came at a time where people were still listening to cassette tapes. So now you have multiple formats to sell your house. My first preferred answer was Pulp Fiction as well.

OK. Arbiter goes with Brockway on this one. Nice. OK. Well done. I've adjusted the points. I was keeping score wrong in the first round. We now have Karen with 10 and Brockway with 13.

I know. Karen, do you remember the categories or should I read them out again? Can you read them out again? We got Combo Mashemups. Phone and games. Advanced biology. The art of acting.

History of television and arts and entertainment. I love TV. I didn't grow up in America, so I feel like there's going to be some holes, but let's do television. All right. History of television. The first question. It's weird no one ever made a good show about this.

It's weird no one ever made a good show about this. It's a big question. What are you thinking about? Why no one ever made a good show about this? This soundtrack. I choose this soundtrack.

The dogs don't want that. I feel like anything can be made into a good show. Which is why it's weird no one made it about. What? What do you call it? Not cobbling, but... Cord waning. Cord waning? I don't know if that'd be a great show, but...

See, I'm thinking about hobbies. You know... Every arts and craft hobby now has their own show, and they're all enthralling. Then it would be... Is there any emphasis on good? As if to imply...

Perhaps that's overstepping. As if to imply a show has been made, or maybe multiple shows, but none of them have been good. You could take it that way, absolutely. Sean Baby Trap. Okay. I'm gonna then go with something

that everybody hates doing. Which is filing tax paperwork. I can't think of anybody... A, wanting to make a show about that. B, having an audience

who think that'd be very interesting to watch. Right. And... Go ahead. Conan the Barbarian. A good show. So there have been shows. I knew that was a good show.

You guys have been on a Conan role. We love Conan. I thought about Conan most of this quiz while I was putting this together. I see. You're saying there's only been bad shows and nobody has made a good version

of the show, which is rife with things that are perfect for TV. Agreed. And predictability. Toplessness. Defiance of story norms. Rampant murder.

It's a perfect show. But don't you feel like that kind of vibe has been now overdone? We had Xena. We had the Hercules show. We have Game of Thrones

Vikings and all of that kind of rugged, wild fantasy man show. It's just too saturated. Here's what I would like about a Conan show is the complete structurelessness of Conan's life. You don't need to have,

oh, here I am following up on previous story. It's just like he wakes up, he doesn't know where he is. A good writer could take that and do whatever they want. He could wake up in an arena pit. He could wake up in a spider pit. It doesn't matter. Plus, there's the whole

fact that he will also stumble into storylines and then just, nah. I don't want to do that. You could set up, you could start like an episode with sort of a cold open of there being a clear storyline. And then the real episode is Conan wanders off and he just gets drunk in the desert

somewhere. And then that's the episode. And you feel like that's good to watch? Yes. That's great to watch. It's like on tropes. Like, he could walk into a town that's doing sort of a Magnificent 7 thing, right? And only now it's

what if Conan walked in and fucked up your Magnificent 7 plot? And that's fun for me. I see. I see. You have kind of like a, you remember John Ritter stay tuned? He's kind of jumping from other people's stories

and shows and kind of inserting himself in. I don't know. So we're going to go to the arbiter. Karen thinks it's weird no one ever made a good show about taxes. And I think it's weird no one ever made a good show about Conan.

I've already clearly cited with John. Are you feeling ganged up on here, Karen? No, no, no. I should have read the question or listened to the question more carefully. Well, I think this next one you're

prepared for. Just go with your gut. The prompt is fuck this TV show. Go with my gut. Fuck this TV show. You could even say fuck this show to my hypothetical Conan show that I just pitched.

No, because I feel like you thought about that a lot and I want to appreciate all of the effort that you've considered. I think that deserves some sort of merit. Fuck this TV show. Man, go with my gut.

As of a week ago, two weeks ago, it'd be Jeopardy. Yeah, that. But things have changed. I kind of want to reel that fuck back in. And fuck this TV show.

Go with my gut. Now I'm like trying to read between the lines. There's no read between the lines. What's your personal opinion on a show that's just like that? That shouldn't be. That made the world the worst place. It's got to be that weird

Netflix dating show where the people are cosplaying as like animal hybrids. At first I thought it was funny, but then once I, the promo star really, I was like, this is so unnecessary. It's kind of

dehumanizing, haha, but it's just, no, it's kind of cruel in a way. Yeah, I agree. Fuck that show. The correct answer was Entourage. So we're going to go to the arbiter. Yeah, I don't know. They're both good. I think the timeliness.

They're both grotesque shows with dolphin people in them. Yeah, yeah. I mean, fuck Entourage, certainly. I also feel like enough cultural blowback has happened that Entourage will never happen again. That's just the optimist in me

hoping for the better human nature to come through. I have a question. I've never watched Entourage. I know kind of the premise, but like, did I miss a cultural beat or did I, like, is there a reason why it should be hated?

Other than the fact that it's about like, rich young dudes. It was sort of like the douchebag character, like, imagine five different ways and then they all get together. And they're all just kind of douches in a, like I say, a different way.

They're characters, but they kind of play off each other. The female characters are all just kind of like either the voice of reason or like a sex object. Yeah, it's really, it's a troubling show. Like, you watch it and you're like, this fucking sucks.

I used to go out with this girl and it would like wreck her psychologically because she would watch that show and she would project the things she hated about it, like, on to me and like all of men. And like, we would tend to fight after that show was on if it was like on anywhere in the house.

And that's when it has this sort of insidious like disgusting nature to it where you watch that and you just sort of hate dudes and you hate LA and you hate people in general. And so, yeah, I guess that's why. It really inspired and influenced a generation of douchebags.

Oh, I would argue influential douchebags. Like, douchebags that are perhaps just now truly coming into power. All bonded over entourage. And so, maybe it's not responsible for how bad the world is,

but it's responsible for how bad the world is about to be. The movie started, if I remember, with Johnny Drama. He looked over at a boat full of hot girls and he said, it was, I think, the opening line of the movie. At least one of the early lines, he goes,

I might have to jerk off before I get on the boat. Which is, like, just to lay it out, like, the kind of people who wrote that and starred in it. So... But you don't think it's like the writers wrote them in that way

to expose the grossness. I don't think so. They're reveling in the grossness. I sensed none of that. I had no idea it was that popular nor it was, you know, it just zero-interested it, that's why. Now, am I allowed to be swayed

by the arguments of the Answer Master? The Answer Master. That's a big part of this game. As I came into this, actually going to give it to Karen, but now I'm like, oh, maybe the garage is worse. I don't know. If we're talking about

societal impact, sure, that's an older show and its legacy is a little bit more there compared to the Dolphin person dating show on Netflix. But I feel like

that could wreck some brains, too. I get what they mean. It certainly built some fetishes that people probably didn't need. Yeah, but I also think like, you know, what's the point? What really is the point? I mean, if they're going to be like, okay, well, you know, love is blind

and, you know, if it's a real connection, then why do you have to subject people into dressing, you know, like, eight hours of makeup to become a troll in this, like, fake environment and where are these contestants? And I want to state the obvious.

They're like, you know, they're actors. They're not really, like, people looking for love. Sure, right. I have a question that will decide my answer. Karen, have you seen episodes of this beast dating show? Yes.

Okay, were all of the people under that makeup objectively hot? Yes. 100%. That makes it worse. Congratulations. I was even going to say that. Like, the makeup was so useless

because they're all hot. Yeah, if they're all hot anyway, then why did we do this? What's the point of this? If they mixed in a normal number of ugly people, but you also can tell they're super fit, like, none of them are in fat suits. So you can tell, like, even if they're not super hot, like, they're going to look pretty good naked, you know?

And this whole thing was just for nothing. And you could tell, you even through that meticulous panda fur and makeup, that underneath all that is a hot person. But you can tell. Yep, yep.

And some of them, they made, like, look uglier than others. Like, someone that would get, like, a cute, like, panda monster thing, but then others would get, like, this evil witch with, like, asymmetrical face and you're like, oh, that's super ugly. That means the person's extra hot because they were, like, not insecure about their hotness. They're like, yeah, yeah, dog me up.

Let's do it. Fuck this show. I agree. Another one I want you to just go with your gut. Um, I can't believe they made this show. That's similar in theme, but different from the show. You used the same answer twice in a row.

I don't see why not. Okay. Okay. I got a good one. And I want to radiate positivity. I can't believe they made this show and I can't believe it is one of, for me

and maybe many other people probably one of the best TV franchises of all time, which to me is the Great British Bake Off. Okay. It is a show whose premise is literally what they call, like, village baking

or, like, fair baking. It's kind of just, like, a hometown if you, you know, for, for, for villages in Britain for, like, you know, like a home baker. They go to, like, a fair and they're in their cakes and stuff.

But they've turned it into this feel-good competition show where everybody's nice. The hosts are nice. You learn so much about, like, the beauty of baking and with the best soundtrack that completely reminds me

of Viva Piñata where it's just very calming. Yes. And, you know, I thought I was crazy when I first watched the show. I go, this is Viva Piñata soundtrack. Maybe it is, maybe it isn't, maybe it's just close. But I can't believe they made a show

about quaint British people baking and it has been the source of joy for the past half decade in my life. And I've known a lot of people who also watch that show. That's my answer. Okay. My answer

and it always has been since it premiered and it will be until I die, Cop Rock. I've seen YouTube clips about that. Can't believe they made Cop Rock. I will never believe they made Cop Rock. Why did it come up? That's amazing. I'm going to try to steal.

Okay. Oh, yeah, yeah. The one I've always just sometimes I just sit in the dark at night and think about it. Rubik the Amazing Cube the 80s cartoon. That is exceptional, yeah.

Where they made a cartoon about Rubik's cubes. And you would never like right away. You're like, what? You can't do that. But then they also it's not even like this Rubik cube Rubik's cube is it's like magic and it's the device we use to do to solve puzzles or shift the world or whatever.

They made it an actual creature. Right. Like a face and shit. And it's just it's a nightmare and it's so strange. You know what? Can't believe they made that show. I'm going to give you the steal for that because hell yeah. I do think that because that was back when they made shows out of any property they could. Right.

So let's do Cuba. Let's do Frogger. Let's do whatever. But like that was such a bridge too far. So obviously. Oh my God. Now I'm looking it up. I cannot believe this is real. It kind of looks like Baby Yoda. Yeah. It has to be like this has to be

the high water mark for that. That like we'll make shows out of anything where they made this and we're just like, oh fuck. We got to stop doing this. We really got to say no to something. Wow. The Rubik Rubik the

amazing cube Rubik with a registration. They got to get the licensing. Right. Wow. Because he's not like a little face and feet. The weird old guy who invented this puzzle. And it was a bad cartoon or was it like a nothing cartoon. It was just completely inexplicable.

Yeah. But it could and did exist. I'm not doing too well in this category but it's fun to learn from you guys. Yeah. You're learning so much today about Cop Rock and Entourage. What is the worst TV show to watch with your parents?

And you'll have a different perspective on this, I suppose since, you know, are your parents still in Taiwan? Are they in America? They spend most of their time in Taiwan.

Do they watch American television? Would you watch the same shows? They do. I mean, God, my mom is like, I don't know. She watches Blacklist. Okay. Loves Lucifer.

I'm very surprised at her TV taste. What is the worst show to watch with your parents? A lot of factors to consider. At first I was like, okay, it has to be something like sexy or sex-related. But I feel like now we're kind of all adults. I remember going to watch

maybe the first scary movie with my mom in the theater and there's that scene where he like ejaculates like a lot and I was like, wow, this is really awkward. But I think now that we're all adults, it's

probably a little bit, okay, what is the worst? We can all share a nice ejaculate joke with our folks, sure. Discuss it afterwards. When a dick goes through Keenan Ivory Wayne, it's his brain. You're like, yeah, that's right.

Oh my gosh. Worst movie to watch with your parents? Worst TV show. Worst TV, oh sorry, Worst TV show to watch with my parents. You know, I'm going to go with a little bit of a boring answer, but it's definitely true. I think

watching watching Game of Thrones with any parent is going to be a drag. Not because it's, you know, overly violent. You know, the incest doesn't help.

But for me, it's so complicated and it's so lengthy and there's so much relations and characters to get straight. Who was that guy? Yes, that's exactly like, so why are they going there? Who's that guy?

You know, calling them by different names because they can't remember the names or the lands and be like, wait, how come I thought this person was this person's sister and what, you know, and that to me sounds like a complete nightmare.

What he's doing terrible things to her. Nightmare. You shouldn't do that with your sister. Well, this might be just me as the answer master's personal experience, but the worst TV show to watch with my parents, The News. Oh, why? For about many years now.

Oh, my mother's very conservative and so anything coming on the TV, I have to hear the spin of how like, you know, the media is. Sure, there's that. There's, you know, just the just sort of big fascism of her beliefs that sort of

it's not good. It's a real problem is my point. I have no idea. I'm sorry. It's not that big a deal. It's just it's just frustrating every single time I talk to her, but other than that, it's fine. Okay, I as the

as the arbiter, I am going with Karen on this one. Not just to spite you, but but because you've been there, right? You've been there where your parents are texting you with the wrong names and the actors

and yeah, I thought that was that was a great point that won me over, but also it's just more universal. Like, I think for example, if you watch the news with your parents, it would be perhaps a totally different experience. If I watch the news of my parents, we would all just be

miserable, but in a different way. Just be we would all agree with each other and and want to rally against this thing. Whereas I think it would be universal. I think if Sean, if you watched Game of Thrones with your mom, it would be the same miserable

experience that it would be for all of us. That's true. And I have watched Game of Thrones with my mom and it is it is a little awkward. I think the just universal aspect of the answer that applies overall. It's a great point. The final question.

Karen, I want the most uplifting television theme song of all time and then the saddest television theme song of all time. Okay. So I got two immediately.

One is growing pains. Show me that smile and however smile Kirk Cameron's in that show. So it makes me want to choose another show. Yeah.

And that show would be Perfect Strangers and I think that's another great one. Standing tall. That's just uplifting. Absolutely. On the wings of my dreams. On the wings of my dreams. That is my final answer. All right. But now you have to come up with the

saddest television theme song. Saddest. Saddest. I like how you said that. Saddest. Like, is it going to like there's a lot of shows out there with like a melancholic theme song

or you could use growing pains. Well, I mean, I'm kind of thinking like, okay, well, now knowing a little bit about you, like, would it be like the theme song to Info Wars or something? That's true.

The podcast is just shown on exploring. It's like parental issues. It's just woven. Every answer is woven back to it. It's like, no mom, Antifa won't kill you unless you're the fa. What'd you just call me? I'm going to say

sad and haunting, I would say Mad Men. Okay. Is a RJD2 kind of theme. But I don't know if a lot of people know that. I don't know if people know that theme song.

It's a pretty popular show. Okay, okay, okay. So you've got Perfect Strangers and Mad Men, but the correct answer is Greatest American Hero and Mash. Oh, Mash. You got me with Mash. I was step by step.

I love that theme song. It's so good. And Mash, of course. Suicide is painless. Suicide is painless. They're wacky comedy and nobody caught on to that for the longest time. Which is great.

Nobody watches. There should be like a, people should be watching Mash more, I would think. People should rediscover that every few years, but they don't. They just have no idea why anyone liked it. Me too. I didn't even know what war they were in.

You know what I mean? Okay, that's Alan Elder. He looks pretty goofy. Jamie Farr looks pretty goofy. It wasn't until like one episode of Futurama where they kind of made a satire that I was like, oh, it is a depressing show

that they're trying, you know, where all the cast members are using humor while they're doctors and helping you. Oh, now I get it. Here's how bad the American education system is. I thought they made up the Korean War.

That's amazing. For the show? Yeah, because they didn't want to talk about Vietnam. So this was like their workaround to talk about Vietnam without talking about Vietnam. Until I was like 20. You win. You win.

That wasn't the question. I know, I know. Give him Brockway a point. There's no trophy for that, but that's the Fuck You Brockway trophy. The one that I said didn't exist earlier, but now it exists. You made one just for me.

Yes, so let's do another round. Brockway, your turn to pick a category. What are the categories? One more time. Combo Mashemups, culture and crime, fun and games, advanced biology, music and arts and entertainment. Just fun and games.

Let's end on fun and games. That's great. Your first one, worst possible answer if the category is dessert and you roll the D. In the rules of the category, it has to be unique because if somebody else does the same thing, then you lose.

You're trying to come up with a dessert that starts with D that fails in some way. Dick Juice? Dick Juice is a good answer. He's a natural harvest. His whole jizz in the Pana Cotta ethos.

Karen, you're learning a lot today. Here's another thing you can learn. I reviewed a book called Natural Harvest that was about recipes you could make with semen inside of them. It was not ironic. It was a dude with a very specific fetish who was trying to normalize it

and he just jizzed in a lot of food and that was the cookbook. The Pana Cotta still haunts me. Yeah, it's nightmare. The one that got me was the... At first I was like, maybe it's like a survivalist thing, but then if I'm a survivalist you don't...

Yeah, exactly. I'm not making anything fancy. I had diarrhea. Diarrhea was the correct answer. So we're going to go to the arbiter. Karen, it gives me great pleasure to ask you Dick Juice or Diarrhea? Got to be a trophy for this.

You know what? People actually do ingest Dick Juice, so I'm going to go with Sean for Diarrhea on this one. All right. They're both terrible desserts though. Rockway, which board game

has the darkest origin story? If you have to make it up, you have to make it up. I almost remember the actual answer, but I can't place which one it is. So I'm going to say it's about mousetrap and

the wrongly incarcerated. Mousetrap was based on false imprisonment. The correct answer is Monopoly. It was made by a woman in the early 1900s to demonstrate the dangers of capitalism and then it was stolen

from her by a capitalist and sold to Parker Brothers. That's not the one I had in mind. And so then it started to become successful. And so then they went to the original lady and said, hey, we want to buy your board game. She's like, oh my God, I'm so excited. I worked so hard on this game and I have so many more ideas for you.

And they gave her 500 bucks and pretty much that was the end of that. And then she discovered that they just bought it so she couldn't sue them once she discovered that her other her game had been retitled as Monopoly and given out to everybody. So that's actually the

darkest board game history. I almost had Candyland which was invented by a woman in a polio ward to play with the polio children. That's what I was trying to think about. I couldn't remember which board game it was. I was thinking shoots and ladders. I couldn't remember what it was.

But yeah, I was thinking Candyland. Yeah, wow. But you know, of course, Mousetrap is about false imprisonment and it was made by a man who died in prison for a crime he did not commit and that was his protest to innocence. Do you believe that and would you

give him credit for that? You know what? I'm going to go with Monopoly for several reasons. First reason is I feel like it tears people apart just playing the game. It's a terrible game. For having so many

rules and house rules and different versions and also it's so long. Yeah. Number two is the history and origin of the lady. And third, you know, I think

we used to live in San Francisco the whole rent thing is just it's such a pain in my 20s living paycheck to paycheck. We were game journalists so it's not like we were getting paid that much. And it just

you don't say. We got to make rent. We got to make rent and just oh my god. Those were those were very tough days. Which is the reason why I feel like we had to go to a lot of game launches and parties.

Not because we want to have a good time it's because it's catered. Yeah, free dinner. Yeah. For me, it's Monopoly. I want to preface this by saying I don't genuinely believe it. I am searching for a trophy.

This is bullshit. Are you kidding me? You guys are ganging up on me. That's not a trophy. Damn it. Haven't found a single one. They're very hidden. And I might have lost track of some shit. So,

your next question. The most hotness and talent in one person. John Han. Oh, it's a good answer. The correct answer, Dolly Parton. Oh, that's a good answer too. Harvarders? They seem like they're genuinely nice people.

And then they're also absolutely beautiful. And then I saw John Ham on Saturday Night Live. I think it was the first time I saw him. And I was like, you can't be funny too. You can't also be funny. You can't also be impeccably funny. You fucking asshole.

What an asshole. I wouldn't say any of that about Dolly Parton though. I wouldn't either. I imagine maybe if I was like... How dare she in many ways. Yeah, she's the best. You can't also be super nice in trying to make the world a better place.

What is your problem? Anyone else if they named a theme park after themselves would be like, fuck you. That's true. Walt Disney? Fuck you. Dolly Parton? Definitely. Dolly Parton

invested in COVID vaccine. What can... I think recently it was her anniversary for her Playboy cover shoot. She got back into a little bunny outfit and man, she looks

amazing. Absolutely. Would. Just if you're listening Dolly you're on my celebrity list. We could make it happen. I'm kind of mad at her now. I'm thinking about it and I'm kind of pissed off. Yeah. I would have also accepted Prince. But Brockway, your next question.

The worst summer Olympics event. Summer. There's so many that I can't... There's so many winter ones. Yeah. You can't... Curling is kind of the obvious one. It's such a ludicrous thing.

I wanted to make sure we didn't just land on curling or biathlon. Just skate for a little while and shoot something. It's ludicrous. All right. What's the deal with all these Olympics sports? There's about sports. I don't watch the Olympics.

I don't care about the Olympics. And they keep adding new things and I hear about them in a story and how ridiculous it is that they've added them. And I have no dog in that race so it doesn't stick. So I genuinely don't have any idea what is and is not

actually in the summer Olympics. Okay. Just going to take a stab. Hacky sacking. The correct answer. Wait, are you... Is this assuming this is already a sport that's in the Olympics and you're saying it's bad or you're just coming up with an activity?

Yeah. I'm just assuming. I'm just assuming it's in the Olympics and that would be my pick for the worst. But alternate sub in Frisbee Golf? Frisbee Golf. I don't think either of those are in the summer Olympics. But the correct answer

is equestrian dressage. That's in the Olympics? Yeah, it is. I mean... Is it the worst or is it the best? It's so impossible. Watching horses take tiny steps? That's...

Come on. That rules. I would watch that a million times over at Hacky Sacking which is, again, a real event and nobody would look it up. I'm going to attempt to steal. Okay. Let's hear it. Race walk. Have you guys seen...

It's not running. It's just walking really fast. I know it... I'm not to insult all of the athletes. Race walker athletes out there. But I know it involves some types of skill and stamina.

You have to take every step heel to toe or you're disqualified, right? Yeah. But it looks so strange. It looks like... you know, like my mom going on a jog.

You know what I mean? With a fanny pack and with a visor and it's like... It looks like tech savouries motion... Someone came into the office and said I need you to walk like an asshole so I can get the animation right.

Like an animation model for a 40's cartoon. Yeah. Where the hips are swaying strangely. So I think race walk. And the crazy thing about race walk is it's not just race walking. There's so many distances

like running. There's like X kilometer or X meter race walking. The fact that there's so many race walking events it blows my mind. I'd love like a 20 meter race walk. Like get to one side of the room to the other

while walking like an asshole. I'm going to give you that steal. I think horses walking like an asshole is not as bad as humans walking like an asshole for great distances. Now I know my input here doesn't have any effect

but I have a question. In equestrian dressage is it the horses that get the medals? No. Then dressage is more bullshit. I agree. Well this is going to be the

they got to train them. No. Horse should get the medal. The horse doesn't get the medal equestrian dressage. Wait. Let's look it up. If you can show me a picture of a horse with the medal I'm 100% in love with your answer. You know what? It auto filled

my search. I was just about to ask and did it. Does the horse and then get a medal in the Olympics. I love it. Let's see. That's so funny. I was just about to ask that. I'm Do they get the medal? Do they at least listen to the medal?

We can wait it out. The medal technically is shared. Human to horse. The horse doesn't get its own medal because they don't want to put it on a horse. Makes sense. But like they're listed in their records. If you look at the

2020 winners. Let's see. Is it like Erika von Vandenberg in like Butter Cheds. And Mr. Clip Clops. That's true. Because you know the thing is for like Westminster Dog Show. It's always the dog's name.

That's what I'm saying. If it's like that. Then okay, yeah, race walking is worse. But if they cut that horse out of this process there's a war. This is war. We declare war. You know what? They don't even name the person either.

It's just a blank. They list them as a centaur. They combine their names and list them as a centaur. Rebecca Clip Clops. They name both. So they have the person and it specifically says

on this horse. That's very nice. I'm going to have to go look that up. The last question. Name all the Olsen children. That's the question. That's the prompt. Mary Kate and Ashley Olsen.

Elizabeth Olsen. Okay. I know there's a boy Olsen. I know there is like. Yeah, Lydia did an article. What was his name? Hidden in the attic for all of his life. Yeah.

All of the Olsen's. I think it's Atticoil Olsen. I think you're right. No, there's actually a lot. I think there's as many Kardashians as there are Olsen's actually. Oh god, there's more than just the boy I'm forgetting? Yeah, it's more than

the twins, Wanda, I think there's I'm never going to get this. Well, let's make a rule that the arbiter is not allowed to look it up. And so you have to come up with a name that Karen will leave. Okay. It's Chris Olsen.

The Debbie Olsen. There's Olaf Olsen. Ephraim Olsen. Wayne Scott. Wayne Scott. P Higgin Bottom Olsen. Yeah, Wayne Scott.

And Clip Clop Olsen. Yeah, that's the horse. The correct answer is Fisto. I like Wayne. Oh, Boner the third. Fish Grip and Pizza Slower. Fish Grip. Oh, Fish Grip Olsen.

So, I guess we go to the arbiter. Fish Grip. I'm going to give that, you know, I love Fish Grip. Though, but I think Wayne Scott Olsen sounds pretty good.

I feel like all of their names are pretty standard. You know, kind of like suburban names. You and Mary Kay and, you know, Elizabeth. It'd be like Wayne, I think, be one of them.

I think it's like too many Chris's. You know, I think like Cody or something like that would sound good. I'm going to go with Brockway on Wayne Scott Olsen. Wayne or Scott Olsen. Right. Well, that is a very strong showing from both of you.

We end with a score of Karen 26 and Brockway with 25. Karen Chew. You are the winner of No Right Answers podcast quiz showdown championship edition. Okay, well, before I throw my coffee mug through the window,

is there a poor sport trophy? There is not. There's not a poor sport trophy. You can throw, you can throw it to the, no, you know what, maybe there is. Throw it and see what happens. We have to hear it. Let me prep a little Foley work here.

Oh my God, no. My child, Wayne Scott, no. Who did this? Who killed my boy? Who threw this mug? I have a revenge. If you get a manslaughter, that's a trophy.

Well, it was a child. Does that count? There's a special trophy for that, manslaughter junior edition. 1,900, Frankfurt. Our podcast is coming. And with Maximele and Chew. The day Frankfurt podcast is coming. Correct. Yes.

The practice is not done without sending you to the dog zoo for an hour. Come on, you're kidding me. 1,900. 1,900, Frankfurt. 1,900, New York. 1,900, Frankfurt.

1,900. 1,900, Frankfurt. 1,900, New York. Yeah, 9,000. Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome the 1,900 Hot Dog Dancers. These are your Supremes. Freefinger Louie.

Adam Ruth. Adrian H. Ooh, doing the robot. It's Aiden Muayah. AlphaScientist Javo. Or Mando Nava. Benjamin Cyranon, Brandon Garlock, Breanne Whitney, Chase McPherson, children love the meat melee, yes they do. Oh, hey, also doing the robot, it's Chris Brower, Dan Bush, the artist formerly known as Devin, the laziest man on Mars, Dean Costello, Dr. Awkward, hey, it's Eric Spalding, oh,

hey, third robot, it's Fancy Shark, hi Fancy Shark, Harakka, Jaymer L. Aiden, Jamie Gordon, Jeremy Neal, next up it's the J squad, that's right, dance troupe within a dance troupe. Here's John, John McCammon, John Minkow, Josh Paveon, Josh S, that's your J squad, K&M, Lyman, Mark, Matt Riley, Hay Mike Styles, Mojoo, N.D., stop, stop doing the robot N.D., we have enough, Neil Bailey, Neil Schaefer, Nick Ralston, Nick H, Patrick Herbst, Holly Poisuo, Ria, Ria, come on, the stage is crowded with robots here, I'm dying. Rich Joslin, Tim Ilehi, Toasty Gal, Tom Secula, Yo Saria, Zachary Evans, Zadar Fan, and Flamenco dancing for us tonight, it's Matt Cortez, that's the robot Matt, god damn it.