The Dogg Zzone by 1900HOTDOG - Dogg Zzone 9000 - Episode 41, Expository Theme Songs with Zak Koonce!

Episode Date: September 22, 2021

The best theme songs explain exactly what the movie they're for is about. The best podcasts are about those theme songs. This is the best podcast! It has Zak Koonce from the Auralnauts, for one thing. It has Feel the Impact, for another. For a third and final thing, it has Seanbaby and Brockway!

1-900-HOTDOG 1-900-HOTDOG Our podcast slams with maximum hype Say Hot Dog Podcast's work Yeah When you taste that nitrate power You're in the dog zone for an hour Come on

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9000 Welcome to the dog zone 9000 the official podcast for 1-900-HOTDOG.com I'm Sean Baby, TV Sean Baby from the internet and with me is my partner in hilarity Robert Brockway I'm gonna give you a Brockway fact today

I once partially skinned myself just to look cool in front of a girl Now here's what's different I will allow one follow-up question so long as it's the right one Okay, okay Did it work? Hell yeah, it fucking worked

No more follow-up questions Joining us is our returning guest, my long time and good friend from that oral knots You gotta make it weird every time Or a lot No, that's not it

Zach Coons, welcome Welcome You guys, to my voice, I don't know It is your podcast It's a takeover baby Yeah This is a zactism takeover

So this was your idea and I think it's a good one Can you establish what we're doing So, we have a tendency to just fucking go off the rails so please plug whatever you're gonna do here because we might just abruptly end with the theme song you yourself wrote

I like that I gotta give a shout out to my partner Craven from the oral knots too He's the musical composition genius behind all that stuff He and I have a YouTube channel where we make, I guess the easiest way to put it is if you enjoyed

what Sean used to do which is just fruit pie ads We do that to videos So that's, there you go Go to oral knots on YouTube, check our shit out We love the oral knots We love oral Today's

concept is become one of my favorite things to do which is just talk way too much more than the subject deserves which is bad 90s music mostly is about

songs about movies from the movie that they are in so the rules are very simple the song has to be about the movie and it has to have appeared at some point in the movie even if it's the end credits and it has to have been written for that movie not, you know,

repurposed I had to veto a couple choices I came out hard against Sean right away I was very cold-hearted about it That's true I think this was established originally by I'm sure it existed before this but Ghostbusters is kind of the first big

success story with this kind of thing To be clear, I did not suggest Ghostbusters No, no, no, you went right for the throat though Right I said to you the same seven words I told my fiance when she said, what's our wedding music going to be The seven words are

T-U-R-T-L-E Power You put it together a list of killers You're probably going to win today I don't even know if I'm not clear if we decided if it's a contest or not We've got kind of a bracket going on

We brought three songs each I think we're just going to present them one after another and just kind of talk shit about them Just going to admire the art of expository things There's no losers here today for sure Maybe there's no winners There's just losers

But they're all beautiful Beautiful losers It's a competition of the most beautiful loser I can get behind that I was going to say you guys did come up with four discussion prompts That might sort of I guess be the umbrella under which we're all competing If you want to talk about those

Yeah, that's uh You put a nice little list together here It's the discussion prompts I make really nice docs If you never heard of the movie What do you think the song was trying to say And do we think the artist in question Actually watched the movie

Or did they just Yeah, they just write the song Based on a brief elevator pitch Was this group Or artist put together Possibly for the sole purpose of making this song Were they even a band Before this moment

And how does the song hold up Over time From a long enough lens away from the film Does it rock on its own Does it slap enough And what I like about all of these prompts Is that The winner could be decided in either direction

Whether it's very much yes Or very much no So Because like if an artist really watched the film And like made a very perfect encapsulation Of the movie and the song Like that might be really good or it might be a bit too much But if they just completely fucked it up

And made an insane song For the wrong situation I like that too Yeah, I think we've got both of those We've got all of that, yeah we've got that whole spread I think we've got ones that ruled that Nobody put much of any effort into And I think we've got ones that like somebody just agonized

Over how to fit a whole movie An hour and a half movie until like a four minute song And maybe they did Maybe they did it I'm gonna argue that mine did it So I guess that's, yeah I was gonna say earlier before we start To put together overall

The podcast has become A favorite part of my week I get mad when I binge it And then I catch up and then I realize there's no more left Until like a whole week away Because you guys I couldn't be more the target audience for what you're doing Which is just

Completely randomly like Picking a subject that is very close to my heart And then just either forcing somebody Against their will to come in and talk about it With you or just to Shower it with love and praise Like, yeah, I'm down for either one of those Sometimes both

The Conan trilogy was amazing I'm gonna try really hard I'm a real dynamic of someone like Discovering something 40 years too late And like Yeah, it's my favorite thing to do is to like Especially when they've kind of heard of it To be like, okay

Well, here's what it is And be like, what? This is the thing? To realize that they've been working for Acting with a person that is just The culmination of all these things Together It's helped form part of my mind In a meat suitcase

I'm 3% Conan a destroyer Like if you cut open my DNA You could just see chunks of Yeah, I might be like 21% Conan the barbarian If I cut you open You're gonna find the jewels that Malik or whatever swallowed

On his way out Organs inside Brockway is the riddle of Steel. That's how you solve the riddle of steel That's why everything's going so wrong With my body Holy shit, that's probably true The doctor probably pulled something Important out to solve the riddle of steel

Is this the riddle of steel? I need that I need that to live I'm happy to be back And be part of this It's great to have you back And so I think we should just get started

What should the first Category be? Or prompt? We have about 3 songs I think it should be our big one Our big mainstream flagship song We went with big Slightly deeper cut And then we went wild cards

So those are our 3 categories So we'll start with the big I think Robert has the biggest one I would argue the most Amplimatic of the genre as well My particular niche is Expository raps I love them so much

All of mine are expository raps And I have many more that I Hope we do a sequel to this So that I can talk about them We should make a rule now not to mention The movies that we didn't bring Otherwise we're not going to do it Too many guys left in the picture

Or we'll be here for 20 hours But obviously the king of this Is Will Smith and Wild Wild West The lyrics for that and put it in the dock Those lyrics are like 7 phone books long Yeah And most of them are nothing Most of them are gibberish

Let me start with the I'm just going to read the lyrics I'm not doing the song, just reading the lyrics Alright man fine Wah-wah Do-do-do-do-do Wicked Wild Wild Wicked Wild Wild

Wicked Wild Wicked Wild Wild West We have just entered the song After all of those lyrics And it's arguably the best Start to a song possible It lets you know exactly what you're in for And then he just delivers

On that for My god looking at the lyrics I want to say this is a 17 minute long song This is easily Easily half as long as the movie I don't remember all these lyrics Obviously who would but like Was he just saying them too fast

We couldn't hear them in the 90s Oh they made a big impression on me See I remember a lot of these And here's why just as An overall take on it Here's why it's one of my favorites Is that there's a lot of directions Like expository raps go

Where it's like you're talking To somebody else about the movie You're talking about Why you like the movie and what the movie's going to do It can be You're talking Like you're watching the movie You're narrating what's going to happen next

You could be giving a synopsis of the movie Or you could be like A character in the movie like you're rapping For example An example here You're rapping as Jim West And Will Smith does all of that He takes

All of those angles in one song He starts talking about the movie He starts talking like he's in the movie And then my favorite part Is about halfway through the song He does some fucking Charlie Kaufman shit And he starts writing a diss track To the villain in the movie

As the character from the movie Kenneth Branagh He starts writing a Kenneth Branagh diss track And he didn't get Kenneth Branagh For this Even though his character appears in the video Barely glinted And that's not him

They couldn't get him because Surely they asked him And I'm such a fan of that conversation In my head You want me to say wiki wiki wild Wiki wiki wild I'm really disappointed in that He already did Wild Wild West

You're already in too deep You might as well just have some fun And do the fucking hit track Which would go on to be the most memorable And successful thing about that entire movie Easily Tommy Lee Jones You're too good for it

That's Will Swaley Are you going to say no to Will Swaley Who the fuck do you think you are With all the cameos in this video There's no way he didn't ask Kenneth Branagh to be in the video And there's no way Kenneth Branagh Didn't say just no

You want to wrap About the movie How vulgar And just check right out of it He pretended he didn't get that fax There's one thing About these songs too that you I think was the other angle

That you were missing from your What a song this should try to do And one of them was just like Hey, you went and saw the movie Let's remember it together Remember that part? In the credits Let's all reflect on our experience

And the music video is like A lot of times videos like this are original material They'll go back and they'll reshoot It's like you get a little Directors commentary When you went home You're like let's put on MTV And see this additional part of this movie

That I like so much I want to see the low pan wrap I would love to see the low pan wrap I also love I'm not going to interrupt the low pan wrap No, I don't think I have a low pan wrap He's like a hype man He just drops in every once in a while

He did the pieces out I would marry the most I was hoping there was a low pan wrap One of the things I love about Wild Wild West is that he sampled The Cool Modi song which was Basically about murders and the hood It was about people coming in

And shooting up his parties with his friends And stuff and how they had to fight back But then he made it Yeah, he made it this Just family friendly Disney ride Of a video and song And it's so wonderful

I love this song And if we're going through Our categories I'm going to say If you never heard of the movie What would you think the song was trying to say? Oh boy Let's see

I think See where the bad guys are to be found And make them lay down Making them die Yeah, that's like for the kids They're defenders of the west Crushed all pretenders in the west Oh, he did the little Wayne thing

He rhymed the same word twice Touch my breath, it was right there Different emphasis I don't know if I would understand the movie Gave it low pan looking fine in that vest I mean that's just right there You could have had it You already have the word west so many times

The Wild Wild West The Wild Wild West Wild Wild Wiki Wild I would stop the bum rush It's maybe about like a violent Theme park Maybe it's kind of a west world Is what I would get

Where anything goes you may be asked to lay down Forever at any point Yeah, there's a lot of drama It feels like the interpersonal drama At like between the employees Of an amusement park maybe That's a good point This would be the diss track from one employee

To perhaps a shitty Manager at a west world like Theme park I think that's what this song is about If you've never heard of the movie I'm just trying to wrap my head around some of these lines To any outlaw, trying to draw, thinking you're bad Any drawing on the west

Best with a pen and a pad Don't even think about it, six gun, weighing a ton First of all, get it You might want to think about a different gun at that point You're going to be so slow That's the thing though, he's like you're so slow That your gun is going to feel like it weighs a ton As compared to my speed

Right Do you think this is the only wrap With a shout out To Kevin Klein With Artemis From the start of this, running the game Now who are you going to call, J Dub and AG So

It may be on record It's the only song that shouts out Kevin Klein That's Kevin Klein, I would be like I'm in a rap song Was there a fish called Wonder Wrap or anything like that Is that a... I don't know There should be

I could see like a Monty Python style Fish called Wonder Wrap Did the artist actually watch the film He was in it and he summarized it pretty well This is an easy one He nailed it Definitely watched the film Not an artist or band possibly created

Totally to make this song But he may have been hired Solely To make a song That seemed to be like a winning formula back then If you got Will Smith as an actor You were almost guaranteed to get Will Smith As a music producer

To help hype Do you think they sought him out for that Because I feel like I always assumed he said Okay, I get to do the Video for this though I am your theme song I think they knew that though And they're like, let's get him

Because he's going to do the thing he does Where he raps about the thing he's in It works I remember when everybody was just so enthusiastic About this That we have to do one of these The whole world is going to love it I remember feeling exhausted by it

I remember going to see that in the theaters And being like, I guess we'll go see Wild Wild Bless It seems like they spent so much money on it We'll fucking go see it And it was just on the radio all day We were like, yeah We should play this four times an hour We have to, right?

Except Brockway This had a big impact on him For me, usually Shaved me as a person Tearing me down For me and the people I hung out with It felt like it was for us I don't think I knew anyone who was

Against sci-fi blockbusters Or westerns or anything And of course, you know I've been down O.G. Full O.G. Oh, are we talking about the movie? No, fuck the movie, I don't care about the movie Just the song Okay

It started my love affair with Expository Rack That's fair, I like that That's an okay path to go down So how does the song hold up over time Separate from the film But I also think it's Enjoyed a healthy lifespan

Without the film It can live without the film The film cannot live without it Oh, that's a good way to put that And as a final note, I just want to say I can't believe he didn't put the giant spider Anywhere in this rap It could have been the first rap about Kevin Klein

And the giant spider Everybody hated that fucking giant spider Will Smith hated it It's between the lines The omission It's just clear I would argue that the South Park version was Do you remember the South Park version where Cartman

Did this rap Did his version of it And his was basically And it was just The whole song And I think it's better The caption is clear We don't have one of those in the categories

Was there a parody of this That was much better If you had that category There is one thing about Wild Wild West That I love In my household, I walk this weird line I'm like the ambassador Of kind of white stuff

For the blacker side of the family For those that present blacker than I I can relate Being ambassador of the white stuff For instance, my brothers No fucking clue what Steampunk was They do now, but back then Jim West was their introduction

To Steampunk I remember I was trying to show my brother Bioshock And I was like, dude I'm never going to see a better video again than this Bioshock is it The game has changed And he goes, he saw my shotgun He's like, what's this Jim West ass looking shit

And I was like, dude You just completely dismantled my love Of Bioshock With one comparison This is just a ripoff of Wild Wild West Isn't it? It's some Jim West bullshit Right here That is a really solid Bioshock burn

I didn't have a Jim West gun too I didn't have a Jim West gun too It said it pipes on it Random clockwork nonsense That probably didn't need to be there Like that's heartlessly sliced me open If you had to Take a cultural anchor from the black community

And describe Steampunk How would you do that? So you didn't have something to show You couldn't just show them Bioshock Let me explain Steampunk to you As someone who only knows black things I mean It'd probably be Wild Wild West

I'd start there and just be like So there's a whole community like this You take this terrible movie That everyone hates The look and aesthetic of it is a lifestyle For some people They dress like it Some people live like this

They want to be Jim Westville all the time They want Jim Westworld in real life So that's something to think about When we're rating these later We've got something that brings a lot of communities together The Wild Wild West song Yeah, it's going to be hard To beat the impact

That mine had on the world itself That's a good segue That's true It's a good segue to mine Which is T-U-R-T-L-E power I was going to say feel the impact We're going to argue about which one's your mainstream

I think turtle power is way more mainstream Way more mainstream The way you listed it though You listed it like it was the wild card Yeah Feel the impact Ninja Turtles Yes, I'm going to talk about turtle power now

T-U-R-T-L-E power It was made by Partners in Crime Which was one white guy and one black guy Both of them very corny Bringing races together Once and for all This was the end of racism That was going to be my transition

Oh man, sorry You said impact and I was like feel the impact That's so good because we're going to feel the impact next Yeah, it would have been good Probably better than mine But mine I was focused really on the race thing I'm always trying to think about how we can fix these racial issues You're trying to undo your racism

But it's just not in the cards man I just can't do it It's always getting fucked up Okay So Now If you've never heard of the movie What would you think the song was trying to say

I think this song very clearly Describes Ninja Turtles It's so perfectly Describes the movie It does a little else It just details the lives And like diets

And practices I'm not sure he'd briefly Dives into a flashback that gives you the origin Then he goes all right nevermind That let's back to the story at hand And he brings us back He's jumping around in time Yeah

Very good Heroes 4 I would argue A terrible song I think we suffered through it because Ninja Turtles was very important to everyone when we were children But We did not hold up over time

I think if you showed that to someone who Wasn't familiar with the movie They'd be like this is one of the worst songs they've ever heard And they'd be right But not Not at the time it aired They would have been wildly incorrect They would have gone to the mall and bought this tape

That's true My older brother did have this on cassette single Shout out to Lieutenant Colonel Riley Four tours in Afghanistan With partners in crime And none of it matters Because now he's the turtle power guy

The white guy in partners in crime Is named DJ Keymaster Snow Keymaster Snow I had to look into him to see if he later Went on to become snow Because he kind of looks like he could have been He looks a little bit like in former snow But it's a different

Here's my theory There's a future ama joke where all the aliens Were registering for classes alphabetically And every section was empty except for At the letter Z there's this huge line And I think that that's what it would look like If you looked up white rappers I think you just wouldn't find a lot until you got to S for snow

Where there's just 600 DJ snows And so He does seem like he's a little bit obsessed With being a white rapper I found an interview with him with a hip hop blog In 2009 And they asked him just like hey how's it going

And the first thing he says is I was always into more traditionally black music All through high school Out of the gates with like Yeah I'm kind of the black white guy Yeah he's like I gotta pass I use the N word, no big deal Yeah no big deal, I get away with it most times

I got the card So I think he was happy to have a black friend When they made partners in crime Which I think was absolutely formed for this movie Yeah, they have no Footprint Anywhere else before this I found it in my notes like three days ago

They did some other soundtrack movie They did They have three songs basically Right What was the other soundtrack they did What a great idea for a band Is just to form up and do raps That explain various movies

I mean you only had Top 10 years Or so where that was a really good idea And Man but it was a great idea for those 10 years I would have loved an album Of just Raps songs about movies

I'm gonna put a Spotify playlist together Maybe this could be a thing we send people To go look at Zach's curated Movie songs about the movies They're in playlists There are so many Good lines, so many good rhymes

In total and what was Your favorite rhyme My favorite is how he made a Domino's Pizza reference Rewarded it to work with his rhyme scheme He's like They'll be there with the quickness He's like I'm not talking about

A half an hour because they display Turtle power so he got the 30 minutes Or less joke in there made it about pizza Still made it about turtles and I'm like That's how you fucking rap That's what rap is These guys are not afraid They're not afraid of a very long walk

To get to where they're trying to Right That's what makes it more of Less of a rap and more of An epic poem I think these guys are up there with Homer A little bit I think I might shout in Cowabunga

As they hit the Out of the dark came an awesome sound Shout in Cowabunga as they hit the ground From the field of weeds The heroes rescued the flower Because they possessed turtle power I think that one is The field of weeds they rescued the flower

Is very, very epic A great way to put The crime ridden streets of New York Yeah I think mine has got to be Now this was beyond her worst dreams Because she was cornered by some wayward teens Worse dreams, yeah they

Changed the actual cliche The popular phrase To fit their rhyme scheme But he still had to say it as Cornered by some wayward teens Worst nightmare and beyond was to be cornered By wayward teens They could terrorize and be angry youth

And they'd mug the people who needed proof I'm gonna throw this out there With one other fellow Raphael He's the leader of the group transformed from The norm by the nuclear goop Also you got that wrong He got it wrong, yeah He singled out Raphael in a way where he was like

Oh he's gonna talk about his emotional issues There's like what leader and Not the leader Pizza's the food that's sure to please These ninjas are into pepperoni and cheese Comes way late in the song It's like the second or third pizza reference I feel like it just takes a turn from there too

He just has to remember He's like wait, pizza's the food that's sure to please These ninjas are into pepperoni and cheese Alright back to the song Just had to toss that one out there He gets a little bit of the Tautological here He's like splintered as the teacher

Yeah, that's the typical Dynamic when one is the teacher They were once normal But now they're mutants, splinters the teacher So they are the students Look, we hadn't really Invented flow Yeah, that was

Definitely a 90s thing Where we got it Before that, it was just kind of like Some people had it, some people didn't You didn't really define it Most people didn't This did it for me The video did everything that I needed it to do

When I got home Which was show me more turtles This video had it all People in turtle costumes hanging out with the Rapper, so there was turtles there Doing something that we haven't seen yet There's scenes from the movie, I could be like Oh yeah, because we don't have YouTube yet

And I can't just go watch these clips I have to wait for this music video to come on Music videos were on YouTube, it's true There's a weird scene where cheerleaders Like moon us And it has turtle power written on their ass Yeah, this is Out of nowhere, risque

It was very traumatizing for me Because I wrote about Sarah's and Mai And seeing turtle power on somebody's butt Is just It just wounds me now See that Lits something inside me A sexual fire that I have yet to quench

Turtles, nerd stuff and sex Yeah, I need Until the day comes when I Make love to 12 cheerleaders with turtles on their butts I don't think that'll ever be quenched And I'm like aging out of where that's appropriate Like you don't want to be the 50 year old Trying to work that out

Meanwhile, it's just giving me flashbacks to my Vietnam Of those butt sucking turtle boys Butt sucking turtle boys Yeah, it's true, that's a real thing He wrote an article about butt sucking turtle boys It's a real thing The Japanese make very problematic cartoons Oh man, I'm gonna need a link

I'm in the dark here But those butt sucking turtle boys And you both were like, yeah Yup, that's our job That's our site, that's what we do We share that experience together Well, I think this song is It did its job, I think it's pretty amazing

I think that it If you haven't seen the movie I know for a fact Because my mom got tired of hearing this song She's like, I feel like I've seen this movie Because of this goddamn song So from We have positive user review

That it did its job well I think the artist Absolutely Watched this film They messed up the Raphael part But for the most part They kind of nailed all the other beats of the film I mean, it's possible that just Raphael

Was his favorite Like he's everybody's favorite He thought if he locked it in Then they would have to change the movie It's not too late to just make something canon I can do this shit And then another guy in the group Is named Snow

He's the toughest one Every time I hear that part That build up to Raphael From the first time I listen to it To now I keep thinking he's gonna talk about Casey Jones And then there's one other guy It's like, why are you singling out this turtle

In a way that you should be talking About somebody else completely different Because he loves him He goes to see Critters in a trench coat It's no joke He's creeping around New York City In that sexual predator outfit Yeah

In the Fantastic Four That's how the thing would get around the city So for me that just felt super normal Like I didn't think of him as a pervert I just kind of thought of everybody as a pervert In New York City in that era Somebody not from I just assumed like if you want to blend in

You'd look like a pervert I guess if I did see him In real life I would just Almost guarantee he's gonna pull open that trench coat As soon as I get close to him And so you would avoid him Which makes it the perfect disguise And then he makes that weird sound

That turtles make when they have sex Muah Muah Everybody does It's different I did get my daughter a turtle When she was one And it was a tiny little baby turtle

And so I got to watch it go through turtle puberty And there was a time When like anything that fell into His cage Which was mostly just lettuce But if it was too big a piece of lettuce And And so I have seen

A lot of variations on turtle sex And heard a lot of variations of turtle orgasm That's turtle power That's turtle power right there He's not gonna fucking for a half an hour Because he displays turtle power Muah Muah

Muah So Zach you got a tough A tough battle here You have to be wild wild west What's your main stream I'm an asshole I got so worried that I would miss out On being able to select these ones

That I just jumped the gun and just chose Like the off the beaten path Ones right away I wasn't trying to be like I wasn't going for the win I was going for the street cred You didn't want us to take your cool funny ones And the expository

Street cred These streets are dangerous Inclusively the streets where they explain things To you through rap And I chose Big Trouble Little China I love it By John Carpenter John Carpenter's Coupe de Ville's Big Trouble

Big Trouble And Little China Somebody had to do it It's not unusual for John Carpenter to make music For the movies that he That he directs Fucking unusual to do that He's

Very good at it The Halloween soundtrack is one of the most iconic Horror sounds out there He made that But this one was weird because he made a band To do it this time He's like I want there to be a sexy Expository song

And I want to sing it And the band itself is Kind of weird too It's Other horror movie icons Including Michael Myers himself That's Nick Castle is in the band

The guy who played Michael Myers And the other guy is a dude named Tommy Lee Wallace Who also directed He directed like Halloween 3 Or something The It miniseries on TV So it's not really musicians It's just three horror dudes

Singing this really cheesy Kind of awesome kind of bad song Right Yeah it's just like John Carpenter's movies It somehow crosses the line Depending on your mood It's really cheesy or super awesome Yeah and the whole score

Of the whole movie is pretty good There's some very tonally Perfect stuff For the dangerous parts And the action parts A lot of his weird synthesizer stuff And then there's this song His whole goal

He said was to make this Chinese centric film He's like I wanted to be careful that the score wasn't Quote unquote Rinky Tinky Chop Suey Yeah But we all know what he means We know what he means but what's you could have put that in a better way

Yeah it's a different time I didn't want to be like You know how it goes If anybody's gonna do it It's gotta be our boy And yet they do use that sound clip So they do So the rest of the score is fine

It's exempt from Rinky Tinky Chop Suey But Big Trouble Little China goes into It kind of It kind of leans on that stuff a little bit I can take you there Like it does the You know kind of racist

These sounds like if you were like hey make a racist Chinese song And you would use that same The sound that they make Is a sample Yeah that's probably what it says on the keyboard It's racist Chinese sound They just had it pre-programmed In a button

I don't think there was a gong though I feel like a gong could have added some whimsy To the racism It could have taken it so far that it would have been okay Yeah comes back around with the gong Especially if one of the guys actually plays the gong Man I love watching somebody play a gong Just one big strike

They know that's their moment Preventing the nerds has that Where Takashi is just like An American Indian Like has the gong He just like bashes it and he does like this A ninja pose after he's done He's so proud of himself

Just lasagna of racism They found something For everybody to do and they were all super happy to do it That um Yeah I don't know This song is pretty fantastic It's also very We got Takashi banging on his gong

The boys and the moos are clapping along Break We weren't allowed to bring up other No songs Well We'll fix all that We're gonna slip every once in a while It's bound to happen

I didn't think that would count anyway I don't think that was ever released as a single Yeah I don't think it's really about The movie I guess it kind of is They describe themselves and what they do Yeah They explain their whole vibe It's as much of a theme song

As any of these I would imagine Yeah Well now you can never bring it No I can't bring it forever That's fine Whatever points you get from that Get added to Big Trouble and Little China Well this

We got Big Trouble and Little China Pulls ahead with a little help from Avenger the Nerds What did you say It's way too complicated to explain These lyrics For this song Are puzzling because

John Carpenter made the movie and he made the song But his song isn't It doesn't do a very good job of explaining What happens I would argue that Of course he made the movie So clearly he's seen the movie But I would argue based on the criteria

We've laid out He didn't watch the movie Exactly He doesn't look back The man that made the movie Didn't watch it Run until they take us away Yeah this was totally

If you had hired like an outside band And they turned this in you'd be like Just watch the fucking movie Like I see what you do When you looked at the cover You thought you could get away with just like Some generic bullshit We better run

Run through the mystic night So here's my theory John Carpenter and the Coupe de Ville's Wrote this song and they were like This song would make a fucking awesome movie We should make Big Trouble Little China into a movie And so the movie is actually

A movie about the song With a beholder? Dungeons and Dragons Monster Manual Then I would argue The movie did not listen to the song Either way They can't win There's a dude in Big Trouble Little China

That gets so pissed off that he explodes And that's like how they beat one of the minibosses He just Find a flaw with it He just like he rage quit He's like man my fucking team's dead I'm carrying this damn team They have another miniboss

Who shoots lightning and when Except he can't like control it So he'll like sort of shoot lighting and never hits anybody And then there's the scene where he just Fucking goes crazy doing his like Lightning kata just shooting Lightning everywhere except his enemies Love it

It's kind of like the Tourette's Of mystical kung fu power Yeah I think that's They're the best villains They're amazing They're playing by rules we can't understand And they just The one thing that bummed me out is we never got to see

Lightning In his casual Civilian clothes And I don't think he ever had any control over his lightning He's just in lightning mode These other two suave motherfuckers could be like Put on a three piece and go give Sightseeing tours

I could help you I could help you That other dude was I think he made a appearance in The Golden Child Oh yeah He was great wind That could have benefitted from A golden child song

That could have benefitted from John Carpenter And the Coup de Ville And Murphy doing the Yeah I want the knife I mean you could have just Just give that to any hip hopper They could have made a whole song out of it You know what? We should just do it

Let's just do it And then they'll have to make We're making a rap, a golden child rap It'll be big trouble in Little China We'll do the song and then they'll have to make the movie again It's called It's really hard to rhyme with Dear sweet brother Noomssee though

We'll do it We'll find it Tootsie Sure I guess we're going for the soft rhyme Yeah it's gotta be a soft rhyme Yeah Anyway we'll make this but it'll be The platinum child

We'll get it done So who do you have Big Trum, Little China Wild Wild West, Turtle Power Mmm I'm thinking Turtle Power for me I'm Turtle Power

Even though it's my own if I'm allowed to We're allowed to I'm not pending from Wild Wild West So we got Turtle It's good that there's three of us because there's always going to be a winner Unless we all vote for our own One round which you know I'm going to vote for mine

I think everyone should just be eliminated if that happens Podcast is over but just cut to the theme music Einstein who did Cut to a live version We'll just have you do it Big Trum, Little China was a dark horse I Mostly just wanted people to go look this song up

And watch the video I knew there was no chance this was going to Beat either of those entries Sure but it's one of those nice surprises You kind of forget about it because I don't think it was ever on the radio I don't know if I've ever heard anyone sing it Until of course today Yeah and you got a little trivia

You know Michael Myers on keyboard That's cute The leprechaun on bass So who wants to start this round We're going to go Second round is What was the criteria What's the

Your deep cut Yeah your deep cut Do we just stick with the same word? I think you were Sean Should start I think you have less deep cuts I got Yeah and I also

Got zero votes on the last one So maybe I should go first I'm going to get zero votes again Because it's a weird deep cut It's not cool It's the pet cemetery song by the Ramones So this is I think it's cool as hell

It's a great song It's also the song that introduced me to the Ramones I didn't have a whole lot of like Punk rock Or like white people music influences Who has the time for a Ramones song Right Two minutes

You don't have a minute and a half I heard this song and I was like This is cheesy as fuck But that song is awesome I loved it so much that I had to Open up the TV guide And find out when pet cemetery was going to play again So that I could try to

Hold a tape recorder up to the TV And record this song This is how we lived back in the day It was no way to live It was a savage realm Where was I going to play that tape The Ramones played a song Called pet cemetery

It is adorably bad The lyrics are so They did not watch the movie But that's by their own admission The first two lines are legendary The first two lines are like No you did not watch the movie But then they reference actual things

So here's what happened I don't know this song Stephen King Unsurprisingly I should have guessed this huge Ramones fan They were playing in Baltimore Wherever it is he lives He invited him over to his house

He gave them a copy of the book Pet Cemetery Didi Ramone The resident fuck up and junkie Of the group Took it to the basement and spent an hour Reading it but then he came back He was like

I wrote a song about the 30 minutes Of pet cemetery that I read Which is why you get references to Victor Like Very heavily in the beginning of this song And then like no other references To the story He very clearly got the gist of the

The beginning of it and was like I could write a whole song about this thing That's all I need to know It's going to be two minutes long We're not going to have time to get into the story We're going to introduce Victor In the ancient goblins and warlords Which opened the book

Hit us with a bunch of old woes Ramones style The lyrics are wonderful too Because they also qualify for one of two Things that the Ramones are usually about Which is either They want to do something Or they don't want to do something

That's every Ramones song It's one or the other They don't want to be buried And they don't want to live their lives again So that's These lyrics were so inspiring that Markey Ramone, the son of a bitch I guess there had been a talk about

Didi starting his own rap group Like his solo career to be a rapper Based on these lyrics Markey goes, I think this is it Man, I think you can do a Rap career And so that's how we got These lyrics are so killer

Because this all happened under Stephen King's roof Didi King Funky Man I encourage you to go look up Didi King's Funky Man It's widely regarded as one of the worst Recorded albums of all time I do not know it I'm going to get so much hate from your Ramones fans

Because it has They hold it in very high regard They love this album I can't tell if it's ironic All my friends were huge Ramones fans And I had never heard of this album So I think Maybe there's a subset

That may be what makes this a deep cut You just discovered the Ramones rap side project Funky Man Yeah, it sure qualifies as a deep cut I certainly knew the song I did not know the backstory to the song And it's just a great song I knew cocaine led to this song

But I didn't know it was Stephen King's house With the Ramones at a party Amounts of cocaine This is a supernatural Amounts of cocaine I loved how It was just In the video

They're just wandering around a cemetery And then playing in a grave And it's just It was never more clear That Joey just did not know How to pilot that body He was always so physically Awkward just everywhere he went

What do I do with every part of my body He was like a Jim Henson character Being operated by three different people Like watching a toddler try to operate a crane So maybe He didn't want to get buried in a pet cemetery Because he saw his brother already go through it He's just

Being Puppeted around by mysterious forces Yeah, that's games There's a weird thing in that video They all kind of look awkward and weird Well, they do all that all the time Because they're also like They seem to be like

Vacuum sealed into these jeans With their jackets So they don't have full mobility So they're trying to navigate these tombstones And they all just Are almost falling on their asses the whole time While they're trying to look cool As they stalk through this cemetery

They couldn't look dorkier I love them, they're so adorable Yeah, that's the rules all the time They never had full mobility They were not an agile band They were not, but they do that weird Like They separate their feet

They do kickstands off to the side And get real low while they play their bases Yeah, you need the jeans for that Gotta have the jeans I can't do that You need those Chuck Norris kicking jeans Those Flex jeans

What are those called? Splits jeans Chuck Norris kicking jeans What do you fucking think they're called? I said it I guess that's a good transition in the mind If we're ready Chuck Norris kicking jeans

Chuck Norris' famous song kicking jeans Chuck Norris And the kicking jeans Country ballad Right, it's a love song You wouldn't expect that This is from Double Impact Which isn't a deep cut

It was a very mainstream movie But very forgotten, I would say It was the 11th movie Well, it was the Junk Club made, I think, Five movies where there's two of them This was the first one Yeah, he finally got creative control over his movies

And he was locked into a three-picture deal And then he finally got to go off And do his own ideas And his first idea was, what if there was More me And so the song Is called Field the Impact And we haven't done these yet

But I'm just going to perform it in its entirety Now, if you I knew this was going to happen Of course, now if you want to beatbox along Go ahead, at home If you want to bang something together, go ahead Because this song is so anti-melodic So rhythm-less

There is no way to get it wrong The beat of this song, so here we go This is, I'm not making fun of this I kind of am, but I'm going to do A very sincere Recreation as best I can It goes like this And get ready

Because I'm going to even the score You thought I wouldn't be back for more But I feel the fire Burning in my soul It kept me holding on to my goal And I'm sure that now you know You're going to get what's coming To you from me

I'll make you see you never should have done me No wrong Because this time I'm twice as strong I aim too true for you to overcome You don't even know what I hold inside And that's why I'm going to make you feel the Impact of my soul

Of my soul Of my soul There is a singing part after that Where it goes I've been waiting For this moment All my life I'm going to take everything

That I've got in my heart And let it all out With you the impact Now that's the whole song Then it does feel the impact Feel the impact Like on a sampler Feel the impact

Like the Ferris Bueller keyboard Feel the impact And then it plays Everything you just heard me do again It's entirety again Five minutes long that song is It is straight control V Control P that

That song I love how bad that song is I bet most people won't even believe me That that was a faithful recreation And maybe I'm not as talented as Jen was the musical artist Jump back I don't know man I nailed every one of those

Claps and also the Hitting a water bottle with my pen That was That was spot on to what happened in that song Yeah so The beat doesn't match those lyrics at all Because it's like some punches Some punch sound effects from the movie

Something chaotic It felt like multiple musicians Were fighting and like Maybe they all went off to do their own thing But then they made up and were like We'll just get it all together This is the first song on the list I think

I'm just guessing based on what I could find That was a rap song That was commissioned The composer of the film They asked the composer Hey can you do a rap And he said yes It is not the only

Yeah This is the first one though I can't find Anything on Jen I don't know that Jen actually exists Yeah I think it's I think it's the composer That did the soundtrack

Yeah that's Arthur Kemple Right Kemple It was like just a journeyman Composer like his greats are all Like Remington Steele Well he did the Arrival the Charlie Sheen one Was his biggest

Probably his biggest most commercially Viable one next to Double Impact His profile picture On YouTube so whenever there's like A verified artist They'll do YouTube will upload copyright material Right library so that

In order for it to exist in that library So you can't steal it They have to post the video of it So it's like a conversation about Arthur Kemple And his profile picture is Zane Ziminski from the Arrival It's just Charlie Sheen

That's the best profile picture you could get Charlie Sheen from the Arrival I think that's lucky It could have been two Van Damms It's true It's definitely not as good as two Van Damms Look at it It's just a shot in the Arrival when you first see their knees

Break the wrong direction Yeah that'd be a good picture The broken knees in the Arrival is the three tits Of Total Recall that's the only thing people Can remember about The knees right yeah that's all you need to know There was a scene where they're in the elevator And the aliens just suddenly start talking alien

And it's just like And the humans are in there Trying to act like oh no cool We know what you're saying Like they're trying to infiltrate the aliens I love that scene But honestly don't remember anything other than Those two things

That old Peter Jackson movie Bad Taste Did you ever watch that? I don't think so They were trying to infiltrate an alien group And all the aliens started puking into a bowl And passing it to each other And they all puked at it And then they all had to take a drink from it

And the humans had to take a drink from it And Peter Jackson started that way And then became like the beautiful elf guy Right The fucking patron saint of New Zealand And then all anybody remembers is like Oh you do those beautiful scenes With the elves that just

Got a drink puke I got my start with a puppet fly That flew over with a spoon To eat shit Feel the impact Feel the impact Gen I don't know anything about the performer either

So clearly I don't think it's Arthur The composer rapping At least I hope not They hired a youngster to come in And do the raps What's funny about these raps And we're gonna have a couple more I think on this list

Of raps that were clearly composed By the score composer Their knowledge of rap Is so fucking tame And mild like white bread shit This is the late 80's Early 90's Kids like my age are listening to

We're in NWA at this point But old people still thought like Man Debbie Harry opened the doors For them We can all do this They still thought it was like the Furious Five They're still doing that goofy shit

This is very much like a local car dealership Level of rap It's so bad Like if this is a I don't know It's aggressively anti-rhythmic And I'm not a big Rap like

Guy I guess But my knowledge is deep enough That I know this is bad I'm 100% sure it's bad It has all the bad They're So these songs are all Kind of unique in their beautiful

Awfulness They stole Flow from Milly Vanilly The flow is very similar Dude you bit Milly Vanilly out of all I can see that

Yeah Just said that weird funky We're not rappers But we got some flavor Right You can blame it on the ring That's very feely impact Intermediate rap

Intermediate rap Use car salesman Rap is perfect Local commercial So do you think Feel the impact of these deals They actually watch the film Deals, feel the deal

I don't think so Like this is so generic It's like they've seen one martial arts movie And they're like it's kind of about overcoming Personal limitations They're not wrong It works here And it can probably work in several other places

Double impact was mostly About the dichotomy Between one super tough Jean-Claude Van Damme And one super fruity Jean-Claude Van Damme Which was the war within himself Yes, of course Black silk and the wears Because of the karate and my super strong legs

I could do splits No problem Back and forth To be clear, when he got full creative control His first movie was Two Jean-Claude Van Dammes And it opened with him doing the splits Right in front of a bunch of girls who were just super into it

They were just coming all over the place while he was doing it All day long they were coming Rivers His WAP all over that gym I feel like that's all I have to say about that song It's a great song in its Terribleness That's the song to beat, gentlemen

Well, there's only one left It's mine, it is Maniac Cop Rap That's my deep cut And this This was also The composer just decided They gave it to the composer of the soundtrack Jay Chattaway

You're writing a rap now And I assume he went Fucking what? Let me look up rap and this Encyclopedia Yeah It doesn't have the whole definition But I'm gonna go with it His

Whatever entry he looked in the Encyclopedia It was a far more detailed And sophisticated one than Feel the Impact Cause this one Nails the movie I had never saw Maniac Cop 2 It's not a great song I understand what the movie is about

I know there's a jacuzzi scene I would be shocked If there was not a jacuzzi scene In Maniac Cop 2 Don't actually remember a jacuzzi scene We shot it with an oozy It shows up in a jacuzzi So they hired

Josh Barnes and Brian Ddubs Woods To bring in these lyrics Who also have no past I found out nothing about them I'm assuming they were his cousins They're Manchurian candidates Who read specifically for this purpose

And then Executed Here's my favorite part Everything that you said is why I brought it Which is that it's the perfect Expository rap and that it explains Everything about the movie And just does its job

It comes in and it's like here's the movie Is this scene, is it the first act, the second act, the third act The characters But it opens with a primer Just in case I haven't seen the first movie Here's that primer You better watch out when you hear that sound

That means that the Maniac Cop's around Once upon a time he was a super cop But the bad guy framed him To make him stop They put him in prison where they tried to kill him But he broke out Now he's the villain Bullets don't hurt him

I know it should like Jive But we're not sure if he's dead or alive So good Where they do a little acting At the beginning They do a little skit at the beginning This is just like The sum up

You don't even have to watch the first movie Now if you listen to this rap You're good You're caught up This is a previously On Maniac Cop Done so concisely And so well

Previously on Maniac Cop You better watch out when you hear that sound Something is sneaking around the corner And the next line is Here he come, here he come I think it's that Maniac You gotta get this right He goes hold on

Raw Some of the best acting I can only assume that the acting in the film Was at least on par With what we heard there I don't know that anything is on par with that I don't see any mentions of Robert Zadar In these lyrics

That's true Robert Zadar rhymes with car Going too far Which is classic Maniac Cop Shooting up the bar Any number of things They do refer to Maniac Cop So

It's gotta count Maybe he was so lost in the role That he was like don't put me I am the Maniac Cop I need you to address me As Maniac Cop While I'm in uniform I think you've already hit on it

But my favorite rhyme is set him on fire I shoot him with a newsy But he'll show up in your jacuzzi If there's not a jacuzzi scene In Maniac Cop 2 I'm gonna be fucking livid I think The best one is you won't

Get a ticket or pay a fine You might as well be dealing with Frankenstein Cause that implies not only is he unkillable But he was like an idiot Like he can't reason with him Oh the next line is That's kind of a low key shout out to Zadar He's big and ugly with a busted jaw

Aw come on man That's not makeup That's just Robert Single tear rolls down his face Continues rolling trying to crest the jaw But it never will He broke my jaw Robert Zadar was 100% born

He wasn't getting out of there Unscathed Or Or somebody Didn't make it out of childhood He left a body Yeah that's the origin story Yeah we'll google that

Make sure we leave that in the podcast He might have exploded his mother I always like one of my favorite moves Especially in like Early 80's 90's rap Is when they Can't figure out how to match The amount of syllables in a line

So they just put gibberish in And here it's They killed him once but he came back He's the muh muh muh muh muh maniac That's it That's the shitty high school students Way of like patting an essay With the same word

I couldn't figure it out He's the very very very Very very maniac maniac Muh muh muh muh maniac Muh muh muh muh maniac And they do a lot of laugh Wrapping in this too like laugh beats Ha ha ha

Yeah I really like the line I guess it's from the movie Where it goes you have the right to a mortician If you cannot afford one we'll take your ass out Just nonsense Just not What if I can't afford a mortician Am I then am I okay

But then if I can't afford a mortician Can you tell me because that's That just gets awkward Does that mean you're not going to embalm me once I'm dead Like why did you bring up the mortician Yeah Because it's about death and dark shit boy The other

The other meta thing I love that this song does That no weather expository rep Does was It ends with an open endorsement to just watch the movie again Ha ha ha Man did you see him? I don't know I think we should check out the movie again We should

You have the right to remain silent forever So stupid It's like they fucking rap It's like they went through their like diary of ideas Of maniac cop rap ideas and they're like Fucking these are all too good put them all in I think we just read the diary I don't even think we need more work on this

Yeah it's good Which is good because we're recording today Today Anyway don't just give the rap To the extremely white composer For his sake Yeah because they do all the same tricks They use

The early 90s Are very recognizable for All the orchestral hits I think we even did it in the In your theme song but that's just that one Single strike was like Yeah It's a whole orchestra up just one little

Note at a time When you hear that You know it's a dead giveaway Some white guy produced this Yeah Brockway did you have to transcribe these lyrics yourself Or did you find the lyrics online Just online

I had to transcribe feel the impact I don't know if that should count for more But I had to listen to that song and type them out Because nowhere on the internet You probably had to rewind it Like I didn't have to rewind I got really caught up in the In the song like as bad as it is

I get super pumped about the fire I have inside And how like Well before we make your argument I just want to go through the prompts real quick I would argue just like turtle power If you never heard of the movie The song is clearly about a maniac cop And it's got several warnings

About what he will do and why he does it And where you can find him So yeah this is a song about a maniac cop Did the artist actually watch the film Absolutely he probably did Nothing but watch the film and then just Write down stuff as he saw it Was the artist band

Possibly created solely to make this song Completely Imagine if this was a band That existed before and after This song it's just It's impossible there's no reality And of course Does not hold up over time

And does not separate from the film I would say in a strong way I don't think for the purposes of Today I think The fact that it's so forgotten is Fine I don't think it's true It's kind of impressive It's the deepest cut for sure

That's what I was going for Somebody is going to happen across double impact You can watch it on anything right now It's going to come up A maniac cop too Lessor chance of that happening Right And then remembering the rap for it

I feel like Brockway my vote goes for A maniac cop rap That's funny I'm going Feel the impact Because you had to transcribe the lyrics Nobody had put it online

So you had to be You had to be the guy And I think it is now your civic duty To put that online So that somebody else You got uploaded I'll put it on the podcast right up Put it in the comments under the YouTube video

Yeah somebody is looking for these right now You could save So many people Up to four people And I'm going to set a precedent I'm going to fuck this whole thing up And I'm going to vote for the Ramon song Because I think it generally rocks

It holds up very well It's got a weird backstory And it led me to discover something Horrifying That horrified me probably more than the movie itself did Diddy King Good point Luckily

Yeah luckily we have Two more We have no rules No rules Is the fight over I don't know In the event of a three way tie We're all right

So here's our third round And this is the wild card round Who's going to start In order of Absurdness I think maybe Robert should go first Oh see in order of absurdness I was going to say you should go first

Well at least absurd I'm thinking we should build up the absurdity Okay that's fair Start pretty commercially friendly And then just kind of go off the rails At that point Well I brought number one spot by Ludacris Now he did this song

Four I would argue that as bad as Feel the impact was melodically This is worse I'd see I disagree I think he made a pretty Standard song for the time What makes this my wild card pick

Specifically Is that he just wrote A song that wasn't about the movie Right That has happened plenty of times Write a song for our movie specifically And then they just write a rap song about Happens all the time

But then it's like somebody told him So that halfway through the song It starts becoming more and more About the movie Until it's almost entirely about the movie I just think that's a bonkers way To do that He's constantly not talking about the movie

He's not explaining the theme of the movie So it doesn't fit That's why it's a wild card But he makes so many references and jokes From the movie Seamlessly It's like a teenager just after seeing Borat and all of the jokes

No commentary Yeah And he He does some great shit He does some of that Will Smith shit Where he starts taking multiple angles too He starts saying I am Austin Powers

He's the character from the movie But then he also in the same breath Will talk about himself so that There's now a version of Ludacris That travels through time and bang sluts It's great Like Dora These swipers can't swipe me

My whole old so many in my white teeth Nobody likes skin To ripen harder since iced tea You disagree take the Tyson approach Invite me That's good rap But written by a lunatic That's pretty typical of Ludacris

When you pull him in on a project He's like hey Luda this is what the song is about He's like cool I'm not going to do any of that shit I'm going to tell you what I've been up to What I'm going to make you feel right now In the present And then I'm going to tell you about my future plans a little bit

And then maybe if I have time I'll talk about your little thing You're going to rap about the snacks here in this green room Yeah You're going to rap about the town car right over here I think this is a good wildcard entry Because Ludacris as a contracted Songwriter is a wildcard

Yeah he's the professional wildcard Professional wildcard You bring him in when you just need to fuck it up Fuck it up and then he'll make you something that is Completely just corny This goofy as shit Still family friendly somehow But also kind of dope too

Like the beat is like It moves you Like it's not a bad beat Like if you just didn't listen to the lyrics And you just let it play in the background Walk out to a fight to this song I could you know Pick up chicks with this song

I'm shocked to hear that Because to me it sounds like Like that Austin Powers little riff He brings that out in the start He brings Quincy Jones who wrote that song And he makes him say I am begging you to take this song And put your mojo on

Put your mojo on baby Basically he has to say I'm honored Mr. Ludacris That you're about to make something good With my song 30-40 years power move It is And I would argue he does not I think it's fine

It sounds like you guys like the song Even though Quincy Jones picked it As far as like a movie I never watched And I just hated the idea of it I was so fucking over the whole Mike Myers thing Like I couldn't be less interested in A movie than Gold member or whatever it was

But I was like that's not a bad song If you're gonna try to get me interested Good attempt That's... It was entertaining and I felt something From that I generally like Ludacris I agree he's somebody's wacky uncle

That is actually pretty good at rapping But he still brings wacky uncle Energy to everything he does But I also sometimes I need that Yeah And then I just based on what I know From Quincy Jones If he didn't want to do that skit

He would not have He's so powerful and just takes no shit There's so many stories of him just... It's such a power move to make him do that I don't know if he may have just been like You know legit man this is one of my I don't give a shit about this song I farted this song out of my ass in my sleep

You know like take it Do whatever you want to it I'll make it seem like a big deal I wanna talk real quick before we exit this song About the part where he starts To be Austin Powers With making Austin Powers references And then accidentally says that I've

I've actually been sent back in time I hear the licks Causing lyrical disasters it's the master Make music for many me's models And fat bastards These women trying to get me out My pale pale they strip off my clothes And tell me get in my belly

Not quite Stay on the track hit the ground Running like Flojo sent back in time And I've never lost my mojo See you were specifically making Austin Powers references And talking about yourself So now There is a universe

She's post Austin Powers mojo era Yeah So now there is a universe where ludicrous Is just unstuck in time Desperately like quantum leaping Through sluts trying to get home He's a watcher now

He sees it all at once And that's what these raps are about That's why he can't make sense of them He's just trying to tell you It's 1967 and I'm making people randy It's 1998 I'm graduating from high school And I'm still super horny

It's 2001 The towers are falling Oh boy Yeah I don't remember that one I remember that ludicrous shame The watchers are falling That bastard is calling That bastard is calling

So okay Prompts I've never heard the movie What do you think the song is trying to say I think it's pretty clear for most of it That it's just about He's coming for that number one spot It's about ludicrous That's about himself

And then I guess towards the end He has joined some sort of terrible orgy That he's not entirely happy with Did the artist actually watch the film I think there's a chance he did He watched enough to be like Oh there's a joke I'll use that joke In the lyrics I make about myself

He likes the jokes I don't know if there's any awesome 3 references But there's a lot of awesome powers He made the pancake joke There's a gold one For sure He watched the movies I don't know that he respected the movies

But he watched it Definitely not created solely to make that song Although maybe he was born to I think you could make a case I think you could make a case His ultimate destiny was always To do this bizarre thing I do think it holds up over time

Specifically because It does such a bad job Of being tied to the movie He made the right call You could never hear the movie And you'd be like it's kind of a weird one from ludicrous But considering ludicrous Not that weird

He calls in line with the rest of his shit from that era That move bitch Get out the way I'm coming for that number one spot It's all the same He's always some bitch in his way I am arriving And you are in my way

The thesis statement of ludicrous Whereas Joy Ramon would have gone I don't want to be stuck behind a fat bitch Ludicrous is quite correct I want her out of my way That takes us to maybe yours now Sean Because mine is not very ludicrous at all

It's from Flash Gordon But not the Flash Gordon theme song I chose The Hero Which I think is maybe not the better song But it's kind of the more rad song And one that people might not remember as well And This was

It played during the movie During the climactic action scene With all the Voltan and the Hawk people And it's just like Queen Just fucking going guitar crazy It's just like It's awesome

And the lyrics are Just kind of random Heroic sounds It's hard to even explain So you feel like you ain't nobody Always needing to be somebody Put your feet on the ground, put your hand on your heart To the stars, the world's your father taking

It's hard not to sing this song for me But I love it because it's sort of about Flash Gordon And You said your song like Ludicrous was born to make that song I don't think in the history of the world Anyone's been more born to do anything Than Queen was born to do the Flash Gordon soundtrack

And It rules so hard And they clearly Put so much passion into it But also I don't think they Even got the log line in this movie They were making it to the Flash Gordon Maybe they

Brian May is a huge nerd So yeah, he probably did watch the movie But by the criteria of this song That is just about nothing It's about just generically Believing in yourself That was probably one of the least things Of Flash Gordon

He did not have a big problem with believing in himself That's kind of his whole deal He believed too much in himself No, you did not watch the movie I believe the video for the actual Flash theme song Is them literally watching the movie As they play and I still don't think they watch the movie They weren't paying attention

His eyes are closed Look, he's not watching This is more This is more like generic Struggling in the gym Music like this will get me through it That's what these lyrics are meant to do They're very empowering

But like the main Flash Gordon theme song If you listen to him They're specifically not about Flash Gordon He's talking about saving children And getting the Holy Grail Yeah, he's just making guesses None of those things happen in the film He's just describing big moves

A big move in anyone's world Grab the Holy Grail That's what Flash would be about Flash Gordon does So We don't think they watch the film If you hadn't heard of the movie You'd probably guess that the song

Was about a movie where some dude Kicks a lot of ass, I suppose The artist or band created Sully to make this song, of course not But they did set aside an entire year To make this album And they delayed their greatest hits album To do it

It's also not just The two excellent theme songs With lyrics, but they scored the movie They did the whole score, right? And so The whole movie rules Flash Gordon is one of my all time favorite films And I think the song holds up

Except from the film Kind of I feel like it was meant to do that When this movie is When this movie is dust There will only be Queen They knew that when they were making this song Don't make it too much about Flash

Because this shit is gonna It's gonna be fire Flash Gordon is about Queen It's not about Flash Gordon And I think if you found like a kid Who was getting into guitar, who didn't know who Queen was And you said, okay, here's a song With some sweet guitar

They don't ironically think it's the raddest shit ever So It's a weird one, I mostly just love this song It's not like funny or strange But it rules I'm not expecting a win, but I'd like to talk about it Yeah, that's most

Of my entries, I'm like, hey you guys should just know about this thing I'm just happy to be here Let's talk about this You're up next with my favorite one Out of all of these I've really fucking brought it for my wild card entry This is strong Wildest fucking card

A lot of people, they don't believe me when I tell them this exists But it's called City of Crime It is performed By Tom Hanks and Dan Aykroyd For and about the movie Dragnet In canon

The continuation of the old 1950s TV show Dan Aykroyd was like Joe Friday's nephew Tom Hanks was Kind of a rigs From lethal weapons Played by your own rules He said Mahoney

Mahoney He was Tom Hanks And so I don't know if it was the Ghostbusters thing Maybe Dan Aykroyd had the Ghostbusters bug He's like let's do that That worked so well for this last movie I was in We can do it again

You and me Tom We don't need Ray Parker Jr We can both rap I'm promising you Look in my eyes Tom Hanks We can rap And they fucking did it So hard

They made an original music video With them as the characters Interacting with a whole separate narrative They made a mini episode A spin off My high level notes My high level notes for this is that they both Suck

Tom Hanks Very lovable and Dan Aykroyd is super Super not That's kind of the crux of their character arcs In the movie too Tom Hanks does go for I don't think that was entirely intentional But I think that's how it works

I think Tom Hanks did his best With this Beastie Boys type Scream wine Rap He's got a little like Danny Brown vibe To Dan Aykroyd's kind of laid back MF Doom vibe But of course terrible

Both terrible Read them their rights Read them their rights He's just so committed to this character That it just spoils the entire rap The lyrics are amazing They're mostly just them explaining Police procedure

To a bunch of dudes in Goat To rap about your rights The whole movie was about pagans Was it people against Goodness and normalcy They're dealing with more pagans In this music video Who I think

Here we are once again at A song that I think was Written by the composer of the film Stop doing it And I think what you're seeing in this Goat costume is the composer of the film I was wondering Because why would

Well that's nice of them That's very generous to give this bit Actor A huge breakdown of his own Complete with the set pull away And choreographed dancers Why does the Goat man get this? Because the Goat man wrote the whole Dan thing

That's his That's his baby Here's me copper Mr. Crime Stopper What is wrong with what we're doing We just like to dance in our goat skin pants Around this ancient ruin Dude's got a point Dude has a point

It's harassment man Religious freedom is being violated That uh Man I haven't watched that movie in like 20 years Does that hold up? I don't know I haven't watched it at least that long I loved it

Yeah exactly I was just into whatever Dan Aykroyd and Tom Hanks were doing Yeah I remember that was I remember they did a goofy dance And they're like goat skin pants They had to do the They had to go into cover with the goat skins They did the weird dance

And I thought that was just hilarious That's what I thought that like Drugs were just pills Because they had like the pill tray that they had to like Eat to again To fit in It's like the drug videos they show us in high school What you're gonna be offered drugs

And they'll try to make you take them They're all gonna look like big giant Morpheus pills from the Matrix That beware of those Did anybody else just get real disappointed And kind of feel like a little rejected When you had to actually ask for drugs the first time Like nobody, nobody just gave them to you

We're out here just handing out drugs Felt like the girl at the dance that nobody asks Just We're gonna Is that you think why our generation has the self-esteem issues Is because we were told We were gonna be offered all these free drugs And it just never happened

Yeah, I had to ask for them And then they made me pay for them I did not feel good about that interaction It just feels so uncool Maybe that was the goal I don't even want the drugs anymore I'm just going through these lyrics now I'm getting like secondhand embarrassment

Just reading them We're just in time We have stumbled into a major crime They've got the girl in all the fight I can't even do that Tom Hanks voice That's not nice He makes me so happy How hard he commits

There's a pretty great clip out there Who's the British talk show host guy James Corden Maybe, he's like From what I understand, you're a rapper and Tom Hanks immediately I'm sure it's all pre-rehearsed But he does a very good job of being like

I can't believe you've done this Like, why are we talking about this? Right And then he raps Does he rap there? I didn't finish the clip I didn't finish the clip I'm just assuming That's the only way to take ownership of that situation

As Tom Hanks is, you have to just bust up I think I think his son, Chet Is punishment for him trying to do this rap Yeah That's right You all caught up on this guy? Not all caught up

But I am aware that he is a problem Do you see the videos? He's a problem that came from Tom Hanks Who does not seem like he deserves a problem He seems to have two other wonderful children I don't know where this one came from And one huge problem So you're saying he's revenge for this

Chet Hayes is comic revenge for city of crime That makes sense Have you seen Chet Hayes? Whenever I'm feeling down And I just need to pick me up I pull up a link of Chet Hayes doing the Jamaican Patois I think I saw that one

When I say I know a little bit about him I think that's the one thing I know about He was at the Golden Globes with his dad And somebody decided To interview him for some reason And he was just doing this bit He was just Jamaican guy He was like, why is it wrong that I

I want to do this voice And yet it is His justification Of it was that Hey, I know a black guy That's snowboards Why is it okay for him to be into snowboarding But I can't be into wanting to do this voice

That's for the whites That's what the whites do Take that question you just asked Put it into Google Or just let literally anyone answer it Just lock up all the guns So that Tom can't get to them And then ask Tom that question

That's the only video here With a choreographed goat man dance It is my favorite A carefully choreographed Extremely long Goat man dance Everybody has to stop and watch this This lyric sheet may be longer

Than Wild Wild West, I'm not sure This song may be a half an hour long If we're going through the discussion prompts If you've never heard of this movie What would you think the song was trying to say This is not just the movie This is the character development of the movie And it has villains that come in

And have parts I'm homely and I'm lonely But the state cannot disown me It's more than anything an adaptation Of one piece of art Or one piece of media into another Yeah, this is absolutely Like you could

If Dragonet didn't exist as a movie And this song became big This is the movie they would make about the song This is The Purple Rain This is Tom Hanks This is Dan Akroy's Purple Rain I was going to say it was Tom Hanks' Purple Rain I know it's Dan Akroy's baby

I'll give it to you Will It's his baby but Tom Hanks stole it He kidnapped that baby and he ran away with it As a kid I was more excited To see Tom Hanks do his Tom Hanks thing Than Dan Akroy would be a total stick in the mud And as an adult too I'm going to re-watch this soon

If I can get my hands on it I have a feeling it's going to be hard I may have to pursue dubious methods To get my hands on it You might have to do crime The city of crime We arrive just in time So the artist actually watched this film

That's for sure The artist or band created Sully to make this song I mean, pretty obviously I love to think I love to believe not though I love to believe that Tom Hanks and Dan Akroy We're secretly rapping together

About movies And then they just came together on this one This has to be our debut We're in the same movie If we're ever going to do this It has to be now And then they did The predator handshake

I don't think it holds up over time I honestly I don't think it held up when it came out I don't even remember hearing it back then Yeah But I still think it With no modesty at all That this one runs away

With this category Absolutely The city of crime I feel like Did I win any? No, no, I think you did You got turtle power for sure I got the easy one

You got the easy one Zach got city of crime In Brockway I don't think Brock got any It was a wash on the The deep cuts It was fucking Rob It's a long tradition

Of Brockway losing every game You fucking nerd You can't even win the nerdy movie Saw it won I'm so bad at sports It carries over into whatever the fuck this is You just got beat up by Two jocks once again

1-9-100, Frankfurt 1-9-100, Frankfurt It's a broadcast, come out And with Maximallim, ciao It's a Frankfurt broadcast Correct The craft is not trapped It's not without

Shit in the hundersaw Come on, Sean You kiddin' them all 1-9-100 1-9-100, Frankfurt 1-9-100 1-9-100, Frankfurt 1-9-100

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