The Dogg Zzone by 1900HOTDOG - Dogg Zzone 9000 - Episode 42, UFC 3 Was A Blessed Shit Tornado

Episode Date: September 29, 2021

Seanbaby and Brockway once again enter the octagon with special guest Eddie Doty to talk about The Ultimate Fighting Championship 3: The American Dream -- the one where somebody loses an eye, a man crucifies himself, and a tweaker fights a ninja cop! We only made one of those things up... it's not the one you think!

One nine hundred hot dog. One nine hundred hot dog. Our podcast slams with maximum hype. Say hot dog podcast work. Yeah. When you taste that nitrate power, you're in the dog zone for an hour. Come on.

You know the number. One nine hundred. One nine hundred hot dog. One nine hundred hot dog. One nine hundred. One nine hundred hot dog. One nine zero zero zero. Yeah.

Nine thousand. You know where you are. The dog zone. Nine thousand. I'm TV Sean May from the Internet and that was a ten out of ten intro. You're welcome. With me is the word puncher Robert Brockway.

Eleven out of ten. Maybe a twelve. I don't know. That was great. Thank you. I'm Brockway. This is a Brockway fact. I literally owe my life to a pile of horseshit.

No follow-up questions. Well, since I have no follow-up questions, our guest, our recurring guest, is Eddie Dodie from... What are you working? You're a crowd. What are you from? Yeah.

What are you from? Yeah. Formerly of Twitch and Geek & Sundry and television editing. You directed a pilot starring TV's Sean May from the Internet. We did. Yeah.

Didn't get picked up, but... No. Pretty good. Pretty good. Wow. You'll have to tell us about the pilot sometime. I didn't know that. Oh, Mike.

Sean wrote a whole-ass article about it. Not this time. Yeah. Mike did a correct article on it. No. It was... Sean and I had a thought of wouldn't it be cool to fight monsters

but scientifically and accurately. I came up with a show and I'm like, do you want to be a part of this? He's like, I was born to do this. We took it around town. We literally pitched it to every network and every network was like, this is amazing.

We love it. We can't afford it. We also got a lot of... We have a show exactly like this. It was around the time of Deadliest Warrior. Yes. This was 100% just fucking Deadliest Warrior with supernatural elements.

See, now you have that. There was more elements. There was a nerd discussion. We're going to end up talking about the whole show if we talk because it's a very complicated show. Right. You did it all backwards because now we do have a show where they fuck monsters on Netflix.

Right. You just took the wrong tack with it. That's right. You're just like 10 years too early. Yeah. Because I wasn't going to fuck a lot of those monsters. Right. That was going to be how you defeat them.

It was actually my secret ploy as like a matchmaking service for Sean. I never told him that until this, but unfortunately it all worked out well in the end. I said it before. He's always been trying to hook me up with Frankensteins. I'll say it again. The only woman who can handle you is a werewolf.

But yeah, no. My official title and job is I'm a showrunner for Crown Channel, which is part of Amazon Game Studios. So that's my Crown Channel. Crown Channel. Yeah. Crown Channel. I was trying to think of that industry insider term channel.

That's what I couldn't think of. Yeah. Crown Channel. It's just twitch.tv slash crown. So it's like it's Amazon Prime's gaming live channel. We do a lot of cool stuff around video games. And I'm working on some cool video game shows now. That's like my, that's my job.

That's fine. And you just did that like three months ago. You started that, huh? Yeah. Well, I had been at twitch for about a year prior to that. And the project I was working on at twitch was winding down. And then this opportunity presented itself. So they kind of pointed me in this direction.

I had a couple of months off, but like, then then this started up and it kind of kind of worked out for the best. And it's, it's been fun so far. Some good, good stuff coming. And maybe who knows? Maybe one day we can bring our monster fighting, definitely not fucking Joe to the channel.

Who knows? Right. When they have like 200 grand for an episode budget. Yeah. I guess that is the kind of thing Amazon does, right? They just kind of throw money at projects sometimes. If we catch the right producer on the right day, we could, we could do that.

Pretty much. I mean, yeah, it's also like what's cool about it is like, there's actually, they're, they're very thoughtful. Like you hear a lot about Amazon culture about like testing and just writing everything down and like, there's a willingness to test things. Whereas like a lot of other companies are just very risk averse and they're not willing to like, it's like,

okay, we'll give you $5 to make this. But only if it makes this 100,000 back. Like there's a lot of that prevailing attitude in digital. And thankfully Amazon, you know, say what you will, they don't have to worry about that sort of, they're not looking for one show to solve every single problem they're in. So there's a willingness to try things.

And so they've been very, very tall. Another thing to consider is if we were to use the original script notes on my current body, I don't think we could like do an eight hour shoot. If like, say the shoot was, let's go into the bull ring and like, let the bull hit Sean for a while. Yeah. I think that'll be a real short shoot at this stage in my life.

We're fathers in our mid 40s. I don't think, I don't think we can do that. Cause yeah, they are huge. Sean's alluding to a very real fact that like 30% of the show was like, okay, and then Sean gets fucked up this way. And like it was very, it had, it had that sort of like for science and it had like cool payoffs and stuff,

but it definitely had skewed into this like, well, we got to test a werewolf bite. Let's put a bite sleeve on you and throw you in with a canine unit. Yeah. Which had a really fun. I was always very excited to do these things. I was like, I can't wait to make the show and just like watch myself get torn apart on TV.

And that does not sound fun at all anymore. There's at a certain age, you're like, yeah, the recovery time for a dog bite is much longer in your 40s. That's a hot tip. All of your adventures have morphed into tragedies. It's, it's, it's gotten to the point. Like I work out four to six days a week, depending on how I'm feeling, but like I'm at the age now.

It's like, I stretch and I'm like, who, man, I could probably stop here. But then, but I have to like keep going. Yeah. That's, that's enough. Yeah. I'll kill like seven, eight attack dogs in the morning. And I'll be like, that's it.

I'm not, I'm not doing any more of that today. No more. I don't even let them get in a bite so they can feel good about themselves. Let's plug something for you now, because we have a tendency lately to just abruptly end the show. So don't count on having plugs at the end. So please, where can people find out more about you or watch the show you're running? Sure.

Absolutely. So if you, I'm pretty stupid on Twitter at Kirby dot matrix. And then the channel I work on is crown. So twitch.tv slash crown. So find us on YouTube. I just do crown channel search on YouTube. You'll find us. We are currently doing a show that should still be airing by the time this airs.

Depending on when it is called a click sport too. It's basically eSports meets Mr. Science Theater and it's pretty fun. That's a friend of mine is working on that one. I'm doing the show called crown lounge and then I'm working on a super, super duper top secret thing that I can't talk about just yet. But in about, I'd say mid November, you'll be hearing a lot more about it. So I'll, you know, y'all just keep an eye out on crown mid November timeframe. But it's, it's actually not that distant from the idea we were just talking about.

Like it's like, it's like distant cousin. Does it rhyme with buck the monsters? Sadly, no. Scrim the, no, I'm just kidding. I don't know. No, I don't have. Does it rhyme with ambush Sean baby with attack frogs? Yes.

Yes. Okay. I'm fucking ready. I'm ready. It doesn't rhyme with that. It is actually that. That's the name of it. It's attack frog specific.

That's a fun spin. Yeah. Yeah. It's, you know, trying to mix it up. Well, I'm very excited for today's topic because we're talking about ultimate fighting championship three, the American dream from, what was this 1994, 95. 94. Why did they call it the American dream?

Because this is the American dream to just get fucking your skull caved in for $60,000. This is why immigrants come to this country is to just get bashed it up on live TV by by a variety of lunatics. The short answer is there's no good reason at all that like an interesting turn of fate. UFC one was not actually released on VHS initially. And so the first one to come out was, was two because that actually had like a 16 man tournament. And for that one, the subtitle for that one was just, there are no rules. And there were several rules.

Yeah. There were several rules, clearly defined. They got in trouble. They couldn't say it. Right. But this was the one that they're like, well, should we subtitle these? And then yeah, they just went back to the American dream. And I forget what they called four and five.

But it's like up until just a few years ago. Rise of the potbelly pigs. Yes. Five was Merry Christmas, Kevin Sorbo. That was so sweet. How do I remember all these? It's so weird. That was it.

Yeah. Go ahead. I was just going to try to set up the night. Like this was only the third time we'd seen this. The first UFC was pretty famously a commercial for the Gracie Jiu-Jitsu system. Nobody wanted to take Jiu-Jitsu. So they said, what if we did a tournament to demonstrate how effective it is? And then everyone would want to come learn Jiu-Jitsu.

It 1 million percent worked. And then number two, they had a 16-man tournament. However, as a tournament, it absolutely did not work. I would agree with that. It was an enormous mess. It was one of the sloppiest things I have ever seen. Yes. No one knew what the fuck they were doing, including the referees.

I'm so happy to report that they learned no lessons from that. And three was even weirder and even messier. I cannot believe. I cannot believe nobody learned a single thing from any of that. Three was awesome. Yeah. It was in every direction. It was so snake bit like from Jump Street.

Yeah. And the fact that, and this is like, what I love is that MMA promoters to this day, anyone who starts like a new MMA promoter, ends up learning the lesson of UFC three, which is like, you cannot in any way have any sort of plan for how you want the night to go. Because like they clearly positioned Hoist and Ken Hoist, Hoist Gracie and Ken Shermock to meet in the finals. They're like, well, these, these are the two guys who can fight.

Yeah. These are the only two guys who can fight. Clearly they're going to end up in the end. And it was heading that direction. And then like nine different things went wrong. Let's set them up each with four punch lines and then then a real fight at the end. So, but yeah, that's the, that is the, that's the overall like lesson. And it's the same lesson Dana White learned at UFC 33 when he's like, let's have four title fights.

And then they like, all of them went to five round decisions and they act that like they lost their pay-per-view slot in the middle of their final fight of the night because they simply ran out of time. And like, and also like, also UFC learned it again when they were just convinced that, that Chuck Liddell was going to beat Randy Couture the first time. And they did like this gigantic, stupid intro for Chuck and Randy Couture just like absolutely murked them and like around. Yeah. So it's, and everybody else who tries something, they learned this lesson that we learned back

in 94, which is like, you can't hope for anything. You just make some, you throw some shit in a pot and see what happens. And this night went fucking off the rails so fast. Throw a bunch of bears in the ring and see what they do. I would watch that. I think that's what we did watch. So it started off and Jim Brown said that everyone's coming for Hoist Gracie. He was at that time like the greatest martial artist on the planet.

I would argue he's had more of an impact on martial arts than anybody like up there with Bruce Lee. And he says he's, he's developing new techniques and he made it sound like he's just working on some secret techniques, which whatever he probably was, he's probably training. But what in fact was really happening is he had like a neck injury and hadn't been training for weeks at least. Which is a new technique. Yes. It is a new technique to come in just very tired and just about to break. I can relate to that technique.

That's my favorite fighting style now. Ben Perry was back. He had his feathered bangs. Oh yeah. And he, he's this a man who's clearly there to just suck on the Gracie shoes. Yeah. I wrote that down. This is, this man was paid by Big Gracie.

Well, he was, he was, he was a co-creator. I mean, he was, it was nepotism all the way around. Just like Big John was the referee because he trained with Horion in the garage in the Torrance Academy. So did Ben Perry. Ben Perry worked on Lethal Weapon 4 with Horion and like, and trained with him from that point onward. And it, and yeah, he's, he's, Ben Perry is credited as like a co-creator of the UFC, but you'll like, you'll find varying degrees of disputing that with depending on who you're asked. So yeah, he's in on it.

He's in on it. That kicking yacht hair. Yeah. It's, it's super, it's, yeah, it's like super, you know, like in the Tim Burton Batman, when like everybody has to stop using bathing products, his jokers poisoned all the like green products. Yeah. And like, they cut to like the news anchor. He always reminded me of that dude, like the guy who's like, can't wear anything.

Yeah. Because someone had a beautiful haircut yesterday and today without any beauty products, he's just falling apart. And then stepped onto a sailboat. Let's bring up Brian Kilmeade because you might know him from, from Fox and Friends. He's the dumb one on Fox and Friends. He's the dumb one here too. He's the dumb one here too.

He always looks like, like a chimp misunderstanding a magic trick. He just, he cannot talk for shit, but he keeps trying to say things. It's almost admirable. It's like a brave. Can we call the elephant in the room just out the gate, which is he does not know how to say the words judo or sumo at all. Like, I love that. It's him.

I know it's 20 different times. Yeah. Sumo and judo. He keeps going. And it's his third one. Yeah. It's like his third UFC and he's like, he's clearly seen. There was a sumo guy in the first fight.

There's been several judo guys at this point. The people next to him are saying it correctly in front of him. Exactly. And I assume while looking at him and he's just like sumo and judo. Judo. It's a very common word. Both of those are very common words. Yeah.

Especially in the UFC. It's not like, it's not like something super exotic from Southeast Asia. Like, penshaks a lot where I will forgive you if you read that sentence and you, and in a Western tongue, you did not know how to properly pronounce that. I'll give you that. But judo, they're four letters. It's like, if you, if you unlock the pronounce. Yeah.

He's of the opinion. They're three. Penchecks a lot. Of course, the martial art from the raid. Go watch the raid. Yes. Even if you've already seen it. There was actually, there was actually a penchecks a lot in the second UFC and one

of the un-broadcast. Oh, for real? Yeah. Remco Pardo. Fucked. No. Yes. It was Remco Pardo.

He fucked up a penchecks a lot guy. He like, he like scarf. I imagine he was like a very small, much smaller man. Remco Pardo was like 280 pounds. Yeah. He was a smaller guy. And the thing with penchecks, it looks amazing for choreography, but there's actually like penchecks a lot tournaments in Southeast Asia and Europe where it's like weirdly popular.

And it just looks like point karate. It's just a lot of sidekicks. And then occasionally like a drop down leg sweep. It's not like, it's awesome. Take away their little curved knives in there. Just can't do anything. Exactly. So, Brian Kilmeade, he runs us through the laws of the octagon and there's three laws

of the octagon. There's no rounds, no time limit and no way out. At least one of those alive. Which I love that. Because they then make a big deal of talking about the gate. There's one way to get in and one way to get out. And it's the gate. And we did not hire quality contractors.

It does break twice. To make a big deal talking about how invincible this octagon is and it will never break, then it breaks the first time, which I assume would. Fucking sumu guy throws the guy right through that. Just throws him through it like it was nothing. They're like, the power on this man. You can't imagine it. And then later on, just somebody else accidentally kind of stumbles through the gate.

Yeah. Maybe. Couple hundred e-pound dudes here. Maybe lock the gate. Maybe there's like a latch. Well, and that's like, it's the same octagon from the first two. It's not like they went out and like fabricated a new one, right? Like this thing has just been sitting in storage.

Maybe they should have. Maybe. Yeah. Well, I'm just kind of surprised that it took three UFC's for like someone to like stress test the gate. You know what I mean? Like it just did for some reason. This is the first time anyone had the thought of like, hey, I'm just going to push a dude

through the gate. But I love that that these are the laws that kind of go over them as if like they need more of an explanation. Then they show the warmups of the fighters, which are kind of hilarious at the time because they're all doing traditional martial arts like chemo is doing like these little baby high kicks on the bag, which are just adorable. Harold Howard is throwing like hook kicks at his dungeon master. And then they got like something that I think is actually good for the broadcast.

They had like a primer on fighting and like here's the striker and a grappler and a wrestler and all this and explains it as if you've never heard of fighting before, which of course at the time no one really had. And then they just stopped doing this. Like I remember watching UFC's as high as like 250 with someone in the room who's like, why don't they just do this? You know, someone who just doesn't know fighting outside of movies. And I'm like, yeah, why don't they just spend 40 seconds at the top of every broadcast

to sort of say like, here are them. Here's what fighting is. Here's what it's going to look like. Get prepared for disappointment for the most part. Well, I remember they did that for two, but they did like much more granular and two. They were like, these are the styles. Muay Thai. Like, I mean, they are exotics.

That was like my favorite like subcategory exotics. But yeah, I was kind of shocked at that too, especially considering so many of the first like 15 UFC's, at least a quarter of them would end with something that didn't make sense if you, if you didn't know anything about fighting at all. Like it's like when Hoyst taps Ichihara in two, you have no idea what the hell caused that. Like it doesn't look like an arm bar. Was that like a sleeve choke? It was a sleeve choke.

Yeah, it was a sleeve choke. It was a arm trap, but he was a sleeve choke and like, and no one fucking knew that at all. No one like, it was just one of those things where go ahead and bet the announcing team didn't either. Definitely Kathy Long did not know it. And Bill Superfoot Wallace, like good luck with that. But I would let Kathy Long not know whatever she wants.

But no, it was just like, it was a to your point, Sean. It's like just a tiny little bit of explanation about Kathy Long. So good. Yeah. I like that in the introduction to like what fighting is and what it's going to look like that they cut to the sumo guy from the first one as their cautionary example. Yes. And then, but then they say he was going in for a grapple and just totally ignoring that

he went in for the hundred hand slap and just tapped punch a bunch. And it did not work at all. He just fell over. It didn't work. And died, I guess, but then he gets to live on. Remember he changed his name and he's on Hawaii? Oh no. A part of him.

Taylor Willey. Taylor Willey, yeah. And he was in Forgetting Sarah Marshall too. He was so good in that. He was like, he was like, so, so good in that movie. Everybody knows that off the top of their heads except for us. Yeah, of course. It's the sumo guy that changed his name because he embarrassed himself doing the hundred

hand slap in UFC one. Everybody knows that. So I think we did have a 30 minute discussion about like, no, he didn't change his name. We had like fucking Google it while we were on the show. Yeah. Everybody just knows it off the top of their head. Listen to that episode and driving. And I'm like, he was like screaming at my radio.

Like, he was. God damn it. Google it. And then finally, how do you not know? It's all good. To be fair. He's a cautionary example. Half of his teeth ended up in like the audience and Jorgar to his foot.

So it's like Nazi's foot. Nazi's foot. Nazi foot teeth. That's a good place for a tooth to end up. A lot of our teeth are just going to get thrown in the ground. His teeth are in a Nazi foot. So good for his teeth. I'm not going to lie.

I was a little jealous that somebody else got to do the first one, but it makes more sense that I do three because three was the first one that I ordered live on pay per view in the original broadcast. See, we knew that. We did our research. Yeah. You guys just the dog zone team of researchers like found that fact and made the perfect call.

No, I was going to say the I found out by UFC because I was competing in a karate tournament in Long Beach and in the lobby, they had a poster for you advertising UFC three and they had a little TV showing UFC two and it was the Pat Smith bite where he just like obliterated that dude's head with elbows. And that was the first time I'd seen like real men fighting like not like a school yard scrap, but like adults beating the shit out of each other in any context. And I was like, Oh my God, this is kind of blew my mind. And then I'm like, I remember thinking like, well, I have to order this pay per view comes

out in a couple months. So is that the UFC where Pat Smith hit that? Like he opened with the front kick and just caved in that dude's chest. That's six. That's on to this day. That's one of my favorite fights ever. He like, yeah, he runs across the cage, lands a lead leg front kick and the dude goes literally off his feet flying, hits his butt and then slides and skids and hits the cage wall.

Fucking amazing. To this day, that's one of my favorite like fights. And then he ends it with like a standing rear naked that he like falls back to. It was like, it's such a, it's such a glorious like mess. Burn that charge bar for it's laying. Exactly. He hit the run button and and then just hit the million hit combo. So that let's get started in the tournament with the show claims that it was a blind drawing.

We find that suspect. No. And it was Emmanuel Yarborough representing the style of sumu. I can't believe they cut another sumo fighter after using the first sumo fighter as a cautionary example in the intro to what fighting is. They were like, let's do this again. It famously never worked out for sumo guys like throughout the entire history of MMA. He was fighting Keith Hackney who, who style was called Kempo Kung Fu, which martial arts

nerds might recognize as not a thing. Strip Mall. That's Strip Mall Karate. Right. Right. They later corrected that to Kempo Karate. Ryan Kilmeade literally says these words. This is not very interesting match.

Not a very interesting fight. I don't think he meant to say that. Let's mention real quick. Yarborough was six foot eight and six hundred and sixteen pounds. That is not even a man anymore. That is a natural attraction. That is an obstacle. And you face him off against like, I don't know, an ordinary sized, ordinary looking

Strip Mall Dejo guy. 200 pounds. If you met him, you'd be like, this seems like a tough guy. It seems like he's in good shape. Literally three times bigger than it. I would not make him fight a rhino. And if I did, I wouldn't say, this is a very interesting fight. I will give you that it was a wreck, but it was very interesting.

You know, it's like, it didn't turn out to be true here. But you know, normally this is like a good primer for first time UFC watcher of the first 10. When Rich G-Man Goins does his intro and the intro for Hackney was like, he is a, he's a fourth degree black belt and whatever Kempo fine, whatever. And then he's like the copy that he had written was a practitioner for 15 years in this style of martial art. And it's like, that means nothing.

That means absolutely nothing of anything. That's like, but that's like, you could tell that was written by Hackney or his manager or his people as like a thing that would traditionally impress people. If you had trained in martial arts for 15 years, like pre UFC, that might mean something. It doesn't mean nothing, I guess. But like in that era, that absolutely could mean that he's been doing like, showed a Conquerati at the mall for since third grade. Yes.

I still believe that's what that means. That's literally the intro to the perfect weapon, like the intro to the perfect weapon with template. It's like, it just shows him, he finds, he finds Kempo in a strip mall. He starts training. He gets really good at it. It's not like his grandmaster was killed and he's avenging him or like fucking or anything else like interesting or mysterious.

Like, no, he, he paid his monthly dues. Seemed like the one way to stay in shape. And he's, and he, and he got good at it. And now he's teaching at the strip mall. Now he's the perfect weapon. Now it's a perfect one. That's how you make a perfect weapon. I like how Jim Brown says it's the size of a man versus the quickness of another man.

Jim Brown. I love it. He's the only one that has any semblance of knowing what he's talking about without being paid to talk about it in a certain way. Ben Perry. Like he's probably, he's a legitimate tough guy. One of the greatest of all time. And.

He's been hidden security. That is his experience. Yes. That is his resume. I always thought he has good broadcast skills. Like when his broadcast partner says sumu, he doesn't say, it's out. He does say sumo at him in a very like clear way. Can you learn from this?

And he, Brian Kilby does not learn from that. No. He doesn't learn from a lot. Did you mean sumo, Jim Brown? So they do say that the referee can now stop the fight. That's a new rule in UFC three. He does not, but he could if he wanted to. Also was not in the rules that they just laid out.

Nobody, nobody at any point looked over anything or what they were doing. They were just like, they got together and it was like, let's do that again. Why not? Seems like fun. You guys had fun last time, right? I did. I have so much fun. The first UFC I saw was it blew my mind.

Which one was the first one you saw? Was it two or was it like? I don't know. I don't know. I'm certain it was a, it must have been two, but I remember it as one. Right. But yeah, whatever showed up in Blockbuster was the first one I saw. But yeah, it changed my life.

I was like, this is the coolest shit I've ever seen. Even when it was terrible, I loved it. So let's talk about the other quarterfinal matchups they're setting up real quick before we get into the specific fights. Yes. The other, the next quarterfinal will be Ken Shamrock. Ken Shamrock. They say many different ways.

And his fighting style is Judo, Jodo and Judo. Again, I'm not sure which one is which. But Ben, Ben does say that it'll be the best fight of the night. He's sure of it. Which is weird because he was supposed to be talking about. I think it's because Gracie will just beat everyone so easily. This will actually be the best fight of the night. I don't know.

I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. But let's talk about Chris Lenneaar andGANDS.

He is the various위 standgirl from wrestling, he plays a conver� because they are both tempering themselves together and following their character Sizel alot. This will actually be the good unite. And Chris Lenger it looks kind of amazing, like he kind of looks like a like a ivy said He Joed slide to readerpecturight toughguy. Yeah. And he's just kind of Casually, just launching this dude with judo throo pube

is like, he's like, Like, these beautiful judo book pictures. You know what I mean. Like it just looks like effortless perfection of judo. It kind of looks like a really tired dad at like sitting in the sidelines at a soccer game. Yes. OK. Like a like a soldier that just doesn't have it in him anymore. Yeah, he's he's just like, oh, that's fine. I'll show up for the seminar.

It's like there's the famous story of Ken Shamrock literally thinking he was being booked for a wrestling show, and then he shows up and he realizes this is an actual fight. And it's like, right, he's told that story before. And so it's like, I always thought like, did Kristoff Leningr think he was doing a judo match at all or like, it's yeah, that could that could be. Well, the next one is Roland Payne and he is a Muay Thai fighter. And it looks like he's just a traditional Muay Thai fighter from Omaha,

one of those great. Oh, the hubs. Yeah, the hubs of Muay Thai. Yeah. I thought he was from I thought he was their local boy. I thought he was from North Carolina. He was he was from. Yeah, he was from North Carolina. Right. Yeah. But even so, North Carolina in the early I wrote down in his intro that he wants to introduce you to North Carolina style pain. Oh, that's adorable. Because that's his name, too.

Oh, Roland Payne. Yeah. And he was fighting Harold Howard, who's one of my all time favorite U of C characters. He's an absolute favorite. He is amazing. He has just got my God. He is stealing copper up to the point that they introduce him like he comes in wearing Canada pants and a tank top. But I guarantee he did not get dressed for this flight.

He's coming here straight from a barbecue and his black belt. Again, I guarantee wearing that straight from the Canadian barbecue he came from. He's a karate man from Canada with a big mullet. As all meth heads are in the sense as he uses karate in the sense that a man on just eight pounds of meth will use karate. Des correct. Brock, wait, do you not know the fate of Harold Howard by chance? I don't know anything about anything.

Who wants to tell him? I think we should wait until the day we're talking later. You can't spoil it. Let's just set it up because Ben makes predictions for this fight between one stand up fighter and another stand up fighter. He says, it's going to go to the ground. Here, Harold will take him to the ground pretty quickly. He doesn't have time to explain. They're just they just keep moving.

And that's sort of the what Ben brings with all of his color commentary. He's just jamming shit in every two seconds that makes no reasonable sense, no explanation, and then they move on. My I'll save it for later, but my favorite piece of Ben Perry commentary comes during the chemo and hoist fight, but I'll save it. I'll save it until we talk about that. We might have the same thing in my notes, probably looking forward to that. Hoist Gracie is the next quarterfinal.

He's of course, Jiu Jitsu and he's fighting chemo, whose style is listed as Taekwondo and let's see what Jim Brown says about chemo. He says he has the muscles, the attitude and one of those things that scares him to death. Well, you mean a ponytail, a little ponytail? Yes, Jim Brown has a fair ponytail. Well, that's what Brian Kilmeade said.

He looked at him all confused and went, what do you mean, a little ponytail? She was just like, yes, I know what I said. I'm telling you, I'm fucking terrified of it. And, you know, I think Jim Brown was back of a head. I think Jim Brown would be vindicated with the fight of the head. So Sean, didn't we see them at Coachella in 06? Snake of the head, the snake of the head. Yeah, they're great. Awesome.

And then I think that's it. That's the quarterfinals. Can I just say I wrote down here and I will be proven so wrong and I will be so happy to be proven wrong. But I wrote down here, I was promised. I am only watching this because I was promised there was a ninja in it. I'm only here for the ninja. Why is there no ninja?

Yes, I know, I know, I was just that was that's the point. Of course, the ninja is not here yet. Of course, the ninja is not here. What kind of crap ass ninja would make this competition right next to you, Brockway? Exactly. But I will say when they said they introduced Kimo, they said he was a street fighter and a layman's preacher that spread that fights to spread the word of God.

Like, that's your fucking lead. That is your lead. Yeah, introduce me to that character. That's I want to watch his movie. He has. Welcome to the ring illness by a convicted rapist and murder. Yeah, I wrote down this man has to be a convicted rapist and murder. I basically did his manager literally was really he's not.

Kimo is not. Kimo, you're not some other shit. But you're telling me that on with that face. Yeah, Joe Son, his his manager famously played what's his name in Austin Powers, random task in Austin Powers, would later go on to be convicted of rape and then murder while he was in prison. But Kimo has been convicted of nothing. You're telling me of nothing?

I think I don't I don't know for certain if he does. It's probably something small, like, like aggravated assault or something. It was like on that level. They must not have caught him yet. Yeah, well, I mean, there's also a ninja presence. So who knows? Like, it's this entire period is considered inconclusive because you introduce a little tight a horse.

I think he probably tied a horse to Joe Son's prison cell and tried to get the bars off the wall. I don't think he even used the horse. I think he went up there with the power of Jesus, which just just gave the Conan speech. Jesus, if you don't tell me, if you don't help me now, then to hell with you. Right up in the bars, at least 17 counts of that. So they they start the fight.

It's many are borough, six foot eight, six hundred sixteen pounds against a tiny Keith Hackney, normal sized human man. And Ben says that he's Keith wants you some rapid fire strategy. You don't want to go for an arm lock or a foot lock. You want to choke him out right away. So Ben, again, with very strange strategies that he never explains. And here we are. Let's let's talk about this first fight.

I just love Keith Hackney. I just I want to like Keith. This is not his last fight. He actually goes on to fight in a few more UFC's and and has like a modicum of success after this fight. He does spend a couple of minutes punching Joe Sun in the dick. Yeah, yes. Several UFC's later, several UFC's later in the fight twice Gracie and four.

But like what I love about Keith Hackney is that if you know anything about Kempo, Kempo, by the way, is like a what we call a modern martial art, which was like basically someone's grandpa in Hawaii remembered some stuff from when their grandpa lived in Japan and through and boxing, wrestling, Kung Fu and karate. And then they just kind of called it Kempo. That's that's what Kempo is. And if you ever watch Kempo, it's just a bunch of like it's what Jeff

Speakman does in Perfect Weapon. It's a bunch of tiny little punches super fast. That's all it is. Short range, tiny punches. Really the one I did at a strip mall, that is my martial arts experience. I did it when I was 12 at a strip mall until I was like, video games are better than this. Video games are, I mean, Kempo is the video game martial art. It's your spamming a button as fast as possible.

And what the best part about this fight is that like within three seconds, Keith Hackney just throws an open hand overhand slap to the face and it works. And it is slap. It is the most unkempo technique ever. You faced like, OK, we know how the fight turns out. But looking at him, you have to think as that guy, this is my boss fight. Like this is my boss fight. Yeah, of life.

I am looking at it. There is no fight after this. Yeah, here is my moment. It's all out the window. Like, why not try running slap? The guy's fucking six foot 20. Like you're just what else are you going to do? He's just to reach him.

It's it's like very much if you were psyching yourself up to like knock Hornet's nest off your roof, like this is the attack you would do. It's the bad idea slap. Yeah, it's just like, OK, I got to do it. I'm going to do it. I'm fucking doing it. I just got to do it before I think about it. If I think about it, I'm not going to do it. And it works that they they scramble around.

They they get back to their feet and and many are borough is so strong that he throws Keith Hackney through the gate and into the crowd. And Brian Kilmeade's invincible gate. That was Sumu. Oh, I love him so much. And then I think he says he's coming in with Sumu and Judo, which I loved because he jammed it all together. And that was like a big epiphany for him.

It's like, I've watched three of these things. I've I've I've built some confidence in my knowledge. I'm going to let the audience know this is Judo and Sumu. Like there's such pride in how he said it. It's just he did it. Great job, Brian. And Keith Hackney like hits him with a few more shots. He's throwing leg kicks, right?

And the big man grabs his foot, which does not help if that's your only plan. So he just gets punched in the face several times, falls down onto his face. Keith Hackney jumps on his back and he's just pounding him. Now, again, we're two minutes away from them, saying the referee now has the power to stop a fight. And this would be the time to do it when one guy is literally not moving on his face. And the other guy is punching him in the back of the head as hard as he can. He doesn't stop.

I think he finally taps, right? Like like Big John never ends that fight. You're skipping several times where he just fell over for very little reason. And this is this is the large man's weakness. Is getting back up. He has he has got back up at least four times during this fight. He does not have a fit like it. He was not felled by a remarkable blow.

He just like fell down and was like, no, right. I'm not getting back up. His way. It takes too long to get up. Let him chew on me for a while. Emmanuel's way of blocking the punches was like literally he's he's in a turtle position. And the punches are coming in on his right side of his face. So he takes his left hand and kind of just holds up his hand.

And it looks like me when I'm like holding up my hand for my daughter to punch. It's like that right level. But then there's like two shots that kind of get through. And he's like, I'm done. He's just like he's at that point in taps. And I feel bad. He didn't like it. Yeah.

He in the post interview, he's like almost on the verge of tears. And he's just like, oh, yeah, I did my best and like you can't feel. Yeah. He's like, I've never been hit flush before. Like this is a man who just got punched in the face for the first time in his life. And yes, you know, that's emotional. That's an emotional time. Big time.

You don't want to share that with fucking Brian. Kill me. So he gets up and just to add insult to it. They they announced to the audience, the viewers, how much he made for that. So I know that was amazing and they tell you that he got a thousand dollars for his effort, thousand dollars for his effort. Just if there's a yes, if there's a better shade to throw at a fight or losing match, you get a thousand dollars for your effort, thousand dollars.

And then you get five thousand dollars for winning. We're moving up to the next level. Like, why have you announced their pay grades? It's like the trashiest thing and the saddest thing I could imagine. I mean, it still seems like good money in the 90s, but the saddest thing I thought of when I saw that was that back in the day in my in like 99 2000, I was filming my documentary about what was at the time underground in the Bay because by that point it was not legal.

You had to go to like tribal or First Nation land to like watch fights and the pay was so, so hysterically bad. I was interviewing fighters in 99 2000, five, six years after this, who are getting paid like barely $500 if they won 250 if they didn't win. So it was just like, how was fighter pay better in 94 in the third one of these ever than than like several years later? Like it was just and like to this day, fighter pay is like a huge, huge issue in MMA.

Like even now, like you have like fighters like running GoFundMe accounts just so that they can pay their training. Like it's just it's it's so disgusting like to see that lack of evolution like from then to now. Right. Boxing is still lucrative because of, you know, corrupt gambling and things like that. Oh, yeah.

Like MMA never quite got in on that. And so, uh, so fighters don't make it. How did this place have the money? How did UFC after showing UFC one? I get tricking the investors for UFC one. It sounds awesome. You're like, look, we're just going to do blood sport. Like do your kids like Street Fighter?

They're going to like this because we're just casting Street Fighter. Yeah, you get money for this. But then once they see it, they're like, what the fuck was that? How did you get more money for three? Because one and two both killed on pay-per-view. Like the pay-per-view is amazing. It's amazing to me. No word of mouth between one and two was ridiculous.

Like two did cannot believe this thing took off. Two did over. I want to say two did over a hundred thousand buys, which is like at like 30, I think it was like 29 99 or 39 99 back in the day. Like it was legitimately a success. And then the money from the VHS of two was starting to come in as well. So like you'll see as you go through these Brockway, you'll see like an escalating improvement in production quality overall

and and in prize money as well up until about UFC 12. And then the bottom just completely falls out and John McCain like makes it his personal mission to like destroy this thing. And then at that point, suspiciously boxing lobby friend, John McCain. Yeah. Yeah. Who, by the way, all of the cable companies, a lot of their nexus hubs passed through Arizona.

So like, right. He had like a throttle of like the cable industry lobby. So like when boxing was like it was like you he had legitimate power over this thing. It was there's like there's been books written about this during this time it's it's still fascinating to see how it all happened. Right. I'm sorry.

Well, you guys were talking like knowledgeable stuff about fighting. I tuned out a little bit and started looking up to see if I could find Ken Shamrock's anime. I couldn't. Oh, that's too bad. Yeah, they did announce that in Japan, he's got like his own laser tag arsenal and anime and cereal. And he's just like, I don't know if that's true.

I think Ken Shamrock told you that anime and his own video game. Right. Again, not heard of that video game. Literally. Yeah, the best I've found so far is is a forum post or somebody's like, I really want to see the Ken Shamrock anime and somebody else said that they met him and he's like, yeah, the names in Japanese.

I don't know it, but it's cool. I if I'm remembering correctly, like before pancreas, which was the Japanese organization that he was fighting for. He was a member of the thing called the UWF, which was a pro wrestling outfit. I think the video game was like a UWF video game and I think the anime was like, yeah. Okay.

So it's not like he was he wasn't the star. You know what I mean? Well, then said when they showed Ken Shamrock, he said he's got a great movie career ahead of him if he keeps that face. And then when he gets in the ring, Jim Brown says very bluntly, great body. So Ken Shamrock's the total package. Jim Brown's the total package.

Wouldn't that fucking when you are through a hackney through the through the ring? Was it was it Ben or Brian? Somebody said, he's look at that strength. Look how strong he is. And then it was after a fight. Jim Brown went, not strong enough. Like I just lost.

He's like crying on the way out. Jim Brown leans forward like kind of giggling. Not strong enough. Try to be bigger next time asshole. Maybe if you were six foot 10. Right. Kristoff Leningers is his opponent. And he didn't do super great.

He pulled guard and through like a whole bunch of tiny little baby punches into the very top of Ken Shamrock. Yes, very like something he's never probably tried before like punching a human skull sucks. And he's also not punching hard enough to really damage it. So he's mostly just trying to break his his hand on Ken Shamrock's head. Yeah, I don't know much about fighting, but I know I wouldn't

punch a guy in the top of the skull. I probably would like my hand more than that. That was that that movie called Gladiator. I think it was a Brian Dennehy did that. He like headbutted the guy's bare knuckle punches and then shattered his hand that was around this era. That movie, I don't want to jump to four, man, but like my favorite story ever about that movie is that the night before

UFC four, hoist Gracie was in his hotel room. That movie was on pay-per-view. He saw that scene and was like, I'm going to try that. And sure enough, that would work. He fights Keith. How do you not? How do you not try that? You can watch the moment.

It's so glorious because like hoist is on the bottom. It like he has his guard. Keith is standing over him. You could tell Keith is about to throw a punch and you could I swear to God, you can see like hoist thinking about it and then he throws the punch and hoist like drops his head and like catches it on the crown of his head and he never throws a right hand after that point.

It's the most glorious thing. So it works. It works. I thought it was just dumb enough to be in a movie, but that's great. That's great that he pulled off like the execution. But Kemp Chamrock didn't do that. He was just sitting there and Leningrad was just like, I am

going to punch the top of your head now for a good minute and a half. And yeah, so they go for four and a half minutes, which I think might have been a really long fight at the time. The crowd's getting a little restless. We're used to it now. We're used to like 25 minute like morning fests, but at the time four minutes of guys wrestling was like, dude, this

this sucks. Yes, do something. And then Kristoff just tapped to very tired. Like either no one was hurting him or punching him. He's just like, okay, this fucking sucks. I need a nap and he just tapped. He's like, I'm done, which just you don't see that. I don't know.

It's had to have happened other times, but like I can't think of any other times in the UFC that that's happened. But like Judo, there's no punches and kicks in Judo and this guy is just clearly a straight Judo guy. So like you can you could be a Olympic level Judo person and the first time someone hits you in the face, it could be like to your point, like a really emotional thing. There was this, um, there was this MTV show on several years

back called Final Fu and it was like, it was point karate on MTV and it was just so it was just like literally remember yeah. And like I remember there's no head strikes at all. It was literally just all like body punches and kicks and like total point karate rules. And I remember one of the one of the competitors just took like a spinning back kick to the torso and then they like

started crying mid fight and like, whoa, did you get in the face and she was like, no, it just shook my head back and it's like you could tell she had never felt impact of any time before because traditional martial arts just like had you conditioned to like not think about what real punches or kicks actually felt like. Well, in Final Fu, I remember, uh, you would get there's points for like your attacks.

Like you hit somebody the leg, you got a point. If you did like a spin before your kick, you got three points. Yes. If it was like a torso attack, you got two points and there's nothing quite as fast as just punching someone in the chest. You can test this on your friends at home. And so the smart people would get in these fights.

All these like spinning martial artists and they just be like tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, just chest just blast into their chest. And I'm like, this is the dumbest sport that can be gained this easily. But if you do get a time machine, go back to Final Fu Episode one, punch them in the chest 50 times. You'll be the final food champion.

Yeah. No training. No training whatsoever. None needed. Cause you're Final Fu. This is our 28th digression in, in what? Five minutes. Nested parentheses of a podcast.

I blame myself. Yes. This is the nested parentheses of podcasts. So that fight ends very ingloriously. Well, give Shamrock some credit. He just, he put him in like a position there for a little bit where he just lined up some very slow, careful punches because he had all the time in the world.

It was like he was designing a punch. Like he's just measure out a punch and then deliver it. Like he had so much time to just these very precise punches. I think at that point he's got to just realize like, I don't want, I don't want this to happen anymore. Even if he got out of it. Right. He was 40 minutes away from getting knocked out, but he made

the right choice. I just don't think it was a very courageous punch beta testing for Ken Shamrock. Just, it doesn't seem like a lot of fun. It didn't seem like he was having as much fun as he thought. So we're going to move on to Roland Payne, 27 and 0 in bare knuckle competition, which again, I don't think this is true.

24 of those wins were by knockout. I think he's listing like seventh grade fights he's been in. None of the, there was no organization listed. I, this is another thing that happened in early overseas guys coming to be like, I'm 150 and 0. I cleaned up the streets. Undisputed participant in 17 grade school fights. My absolute favorite example of that.

So the guy we're just talking about that Pat Smith kicked through like the mid, through midair. I forget his name, but about six months later, that dude went on foot. Jenkins. Yeah. He went on to fight in the same, in extreme fighting, which was like a, you know, a copycat at the time.

And so going into that fight with Pat Smith, he was like, his record is 30 and 0 in unsanctioned fights. He gets, and then Pat Smith just totally mercs him. And then like six months later shows of an extreme fighting going, his record is 44 and 0. It's like, we just saw you on pay-per-view and get destroyed. But that, now we can do the math. Every loss is worth 14 wins.

Exactly. So, yes. So that means he was, okay, you can do the math. He lost about 2.3 fights before he met Pat Smith. Yeah. Okay. So Roland Payne comes in and he kind of looks like a decent Moitai guy.

Like if you saw him in a Moitai gym, you wouldn't, you wouldn't think it was his first day. And Harold Howard looks like a complete joke. Like if you saw him, you're like, this guy remembers his fourth grade karate lessons and he's, you know, a wife beater now. Yeah. He practices this on the local police. Fucking human El Camino.

He's wearing his like they live glasses in his intro. He's the only guy wearing like a cool face prop. Nobody else brought like a cowboy hat or anything. Before we get to my fucking head so much, you have to both have this in your notes. What he says with those glasses when he takes him off. I was going to say, somebody else should do the catchphrase. The one contribution I had to this is, is to your point, like

you would think he wouldn't know what the hell he's doing. His fighting stance did not aid him in his argument that he knew what he was doing. His fighting stance was a bladed stance with his left leg forward, both hands down face first, face first and then just bouncing vertically. He's not doing cool boxer shuffling footwork or like what he, what he is doing is the meth pogo.

Like that is definitely a guy that's on just that magical amount of meth where you can do very well in a UFC competition. I'm hoping the dog zone community can make a Super Bowl shuffle style rap song called the meth pogo. That's a challenge for the dog zone community. Anyway, he says, uh, if you're going to come on, then come on. Did I get there right?

Yeah, it's very close to go to come on and come on. We have a saying back home. He's from Niagara Falls. He says, we have a saying back home. If you're coming on, come on. And he takes off his glasses dramatically in the middle of it. It's so well-practiced.

It looks like you have this little pug face. It's a weird, tiny pug face in his giant mullet. He does have a pug face. His unique approach to dental hygiene. He's just got like this mile wide gap tooth, which is yeah. We're just plugging meth rocks in the gaps like their teeth. He, uh, he has his, his dungeon master, this other mulleted

guy from his suburban karate class is holding like a bag. He has a bag of cement, like wrapped up with duct tape with like a junior version of his mullet. He goes like, yes, like a graduate into the second degree mullet yet. So he's, he throws like a big ass hook kick into the bag, kind of misses fucks his buddy up while he's holding the cement bag and then just rips through the duct tape and it

kind of looks like awesome. Like it looks like he's tearing up this like cement bag, but like literally anyone who's ever lifted a cement bag knows that every three cement bags you move, it bursts open. Like this is not a huge feat of strength that he's doing. It just, it just looks kind of awesome. I believe Jim Brown makes fun of him later. It's somebody else that's first that bag and Jim Brown's like,

yeah, yeah, he did bust the bag. Yeah, the other cement asshole. The other part of that like hype video that is my favorite part is that they would film a lot. If you want, especially in two, you saw this a lot. They'd be like, they'd film like footage b-roll of like every fighter doing their art, right? Like their style.

Right. And my favorite Ken Shamrock doing like his stuff in jeans with no shirt on is, is like Pete Ken Shamrock. But with Harold Howard, he's clearly doing a kata and like making a scary face when he does a kata. The problem is that the cameraman has zoomed in entirely on his face. You don't, it's the best.

You don't know what his body is doing. You just know that he's looking down and then all of a sudden he just growls and you have no context for what it is he's doing. They announce him as a black belt in Cheeto Roo, which is so fantastic. I'm sure, I'm sure that's not, sure that's not what it says on the strip mall sign.

Don't go next to a photo kiosk and you'll look for Walmart. Rich the, rich the G-man coins. It's not a talented broadcaster. Cheeto Roo, he comes in with his own like Gracie trade. The Gracie's come in. His Battle Konga. All these guys. Yeah, the Battle Konga and he's there with his Dungeon Master

and his porn dealer, who is like a man with a blazer, a no shirt on and rules. I'm so happy you called him out. He's like a landlord at a Halloween party. He's just just a weasley, bold, bald guy with a gold chain and a blazer and nothing else. Nothing. His name is Charlie Anzalone and he would go on to work for

the Nevada State Athletic Commission. You would see him in the background. And it's his job to mug to the camera for some reason. This was his like entry point into the world of MMA. I don't know what he did before this. Before he dealt meth to Harold. No, this is real answer. He was a disco DJ.

I found a bio of him. He dealt meth to Harold. About the fucking top 40 disco hits that he really got in near for and love to spin. That's even better than wonderful. Yeah, that is that is it. It was 2,000 words of his disco DJ background, meaning I don't think he did a second thing before this.

Like the man's total biography was disco DJ until this day when he was Harold's favorite DJ. That's why he was there. He was recruiting for the battle conga and came up short a couple of guys. You know, you're staying back home in Niagara Falls. Give me Bee Gees or give me Jeff. Oh, so much.

I'm just laughing at Harold Howard. They also like to do that during that intro. They say he's got a movie career. He was in a kung fu episode. Jesus. Did they know did they know he was in a kung fu episode? Did he maybe sneak in the background of a kung fu episode? He might have driven his truck through it.

We just look at Eddie. Why don't you tell us the story of what happened to Harold Howard? Okay. Harold Howard in as as as Sean mentioned, he was from the Niagara Falls region, which makes more sense because he tell me he went over it in a barrel. He drove his truck through the front door of a Niagara Falls casino.

I've actually been to that casino and because my wife is from Buffalo and so like we go really in our dating. We went to my in-laws. He took her on a walking tour of Harold Howard's life story. No, like I legit you can ask Rachel is like I we're on our way there. I'm like, wait a minute, which which casino we're going to and they tell me and I do a quick Google search and I find

out it's the same one that I took a moment. I took a moment. I just kind of stood like people do like at the Washington Memorial and like, yeah, like have a moment. I was like something important happened. Honey, this is where he came on. This is this is where Howard drove his truck through. I think he's in jail.

I don't know if he's still free. I don't know. I don't know what's become of Harold Howard since then, but that was not in jail. He's about to be in jail again soon. I feel kind of this for this one moment. He looked great. He kind of beat the shit out of Roland with really did haymakers.

Just like he looked like a drunk guy hitting the speedbag in a bar that like measures your punching power. Yes, like he just look just huge slow haymakers that Roland seems to is like a fucking idea to deal with suplex. He tried it. It didn't work. Well, but didn't work. He tried and he is my goddamn hero.

The other crazy thing was that like the Roland pains like hype video was all about Muay Thai and how he's like his champion Muay Thai guy and his footage was all him had to kick in a bag and looking like at least halfway decent first three seconds of the fight. He shoots for a double a takedown clearly had watched him Gracie and action videotapes and like had taken the guy down passed him to side control and then like Harold Howard just

does like what we call it. The white belt freak out escape which is just like a back bridge where you just you old man's strength and throw the guy off of you from underneath. It's like and once in a blue moon it worked and it happened to work here. And then he just raw brawled him down just bar fights him down like he took his recycling.

Just waffle house beat that man. Definitely full waffle house food. He did the the back to the future. Crispin Glover like like I'm going to hold my fist and shake it for a second and then throw it. Yeah and it and he charged it up and it totally worked and it was charged up and it worked just turned off that guy's brain with a punch that literally everyone else saw coming

in the entire arena. Like he mailed him a letter. Here comes the punch. There's like a stage where you're playing a fighting game and you get really good at a fighting game and you can beat almost anybody except for like an eight year old because you have no idea what the fucking eight year old is going to do like you know I have counters.

I've memorized this I memorized that none of it works because you're just like hopping in a corner and punching and that was what he did. He just hopped in a corner and punched and nobody had what do I do with the maniac. I didn't come here to fight a maniac but this guy tried to smoke me out before the match. I don't know what to do about this.

And then his his porn dealer what's named Charlie Anzalone gets in the camera with his gives a double thumbs up with his just chest coming out of his blazer naked chest commands blazer and he goes Howard Howard. Yeah baby just that's it. So you put on a show. Everybody else take note. So good.

So now would they go to an ounce of they go to talk to him and he just left like he didn't stay for for an interview I held Howard. They just like he took off. So what do they do? They cut to Gary Busey. Yeah, Gary Busey is just hanging out. Yeah, he's just in this audience the entire time.

Of course Gary Busey is an early adopter of just maniacs hanging out. I heard he learned it. There was a maniac festival here. Yes, he does have the same energy as Harold Howard. Yeah, like Harold Howard totally invited him. That was his plus one. It was his plus eight for the battle.

Kongon and plus one for Gary Busey. He like he's buying he's buying meth from Gary and he's like you know while I'm here buying meth from you. Gary Busey maybe you come to watch my fight. Do you want to come to my ultimate fighting championship and Gary Busey was like I don't know what any of those. I don't know what that is, but I like the way those words sound ultimate fighting championship.

Kimo is the next fight. He's fighting Royce Gracie and they announced Royce Gracie is a man who's earned over $110,000 in fighting, which is again like at the time certainly good money, but just kind of like he's the greatest fighter in the world. And it's such a just that's like a plumber's yearly salary now and he's like literally can't you can't be better at this thing that he's doing.

And it's still better than 70% of the current UFC roster. A hundred percent. Yes, like it's just funny to me. The sadness that they keep injecting here just like like even their their best fighter is still just like and he should have he should have learned how to be a dentist. You know, so Kimo is doing his warm-ups when he's doing two finger

uppercuts with convicted rapist murderer, Joe Sun. Yes, very strange and unconvicted murderer Kimo unconvicted murderer and he says his purpose is to bring the gospel of Jesus Christ throughout the whole world as we mentioned and he comes in on a full like 110 pound wooden cross and drags a fucking cross to the ring. I could not could not believe it. I could not believe that was happening.

He also has like a holocaust cloak. I think it's what you call it from Princess right? He has a fucking vampire cloak. He has a vampire cloak and an actual cross and that's how he showed up to the ring. Can you imagine like going to fight that guy like I would rather fight the 600 pound man. It's just for the presence of like even even Gracie knowing

he's like the best fighter in the world like and can can handle this has to look at that and be like, okay, but I'm not doing this. Yeah, he's gonna at least bite me. He's gonna try to eat me. He's definitely something bad is going to happen to me. It's gonna it's got nobody's gonna like it. It's gonna be against the rules.

I'm still gonna gotta win, but something bad is gonna happen. I did like Jim Brown's comment here. Jim Brown says he bring a lot of things with him. He's like Jim Brown. It's the best. The other thing about the broadcast of the camera is always on the wrong guy. It's just a weird note.

I put in my notes so they'll announce one guy and it's the camera is always showing somebody else. The broadcast is just broken. Yeah, during the introduction, there's one line we skipped over that I just wanted to hit with. They said that chemo like the biblical Samson and David chemo believes he is a warrior in the service of the Lord. That's the craziest fucking shit I've ever heard.

Yeah, that made it into the broadcast. That's the broadcast announcer reading copy that says that he thinks he's a paladin. He thinks he's like a street fighting paladin. If this were D&D, what would you think his order would be like order of light order of vengeance? Like what would be his like his like path as a paladin? Order of the alley played a paladin.

So I've met chemo. I met chemo in 1997 and at a jujitsu tournament and he was just there because he was trained with Joe Marrera at the time. He definitely talked to you about Jesus. No, but what happened was I was standing next to him after like I'd like intro myself and we tried a little bit and another guy comes up and goes, Hey man, it's nice to meet you. So yeah, nice to meet you too.

And it's like, yeah, it's just really good to see like another Christian in there and like the look on chemo's face was like it took him a second. He's like, Oh, yeah, yeah. Like it was just like, he had to be reminded of like the giant fucking cross on his back. So this is like a bit like he might not be a really devout Christian man.

It's just like his character. What an ingenious bit. I don't know because I think you think might crucify himself in the ring. That's my if it's a bit, he's super committed to it because he has like multiple Jesus tattoos on him. Yeah, that's true. But it's like, but what was so interesting just like, I don't

know for whatever reason, it was like so clearly far from his mind in that moment, which I don't know, like maybe he was struggling with, I don't know, like he's thinking about dogs or something. Yeah, he might have been chewing gum. I mean, like let's cut him some slack. I don't think he's a bright man. But hoist does use Jim Brown's personal fear against him when

he grabs his little ponytail, like he spends a lot of the fight like leading him around like a pony by his own ponytail. That's why Jim Brown is terrified of it. If anybody can grab your head snake, then they have complete control over you. But my favorite thing about this fight, and I've watched this fight like a million times, like my favorite thing about it is that this is clearly Hoist's toughest fight to date because

he's fighting someone who does not like fall down immediately when has the fucking seat, the maniac zeal of the Lord on his side. Yeah, I've met those crazy-ass Christians and like there's just an energy that you're not prepared for all that Christ love is keeping Kimo's feet firmly bolted to the ground. Like, like, like hoist has to actually like wrestle this guy and clearly his cardio was like not in the place for this.

And the best part is Ben Perry's commentary as it progresses because like at one point Kimo has hoist's back with hooks in like and he's got him flattened out, which if Kimo knew half a percent more jujitsu than he knew that fight would have been over because he had he had hoist's back and flat out and the entire time Ben Perry is like, oh, he's fine. That's fine. Everything's fine.

It's totally fine. It's totally fine. It's totally fine. It's totally fine. Yeah, this is normal. This is fine. It's normal. And like the fight goes on for three more minutes of that

and it's clearly not fine. Like it's just, yeah, so funny to watch. Just whispering about Jesus in his ear the whole time. Just fucking him up mentally. I love Jesus. I'm going to have sex with you now. So they, he always finally gets the arm bar and it's just kind of like the last-ditch effort.

Kind of a heroic, miraculous arm bar and Joe Sun comes in somehow missing a shirt and he's just, I just can't believe he lost to an arm bar. You should need to burn like your full super. There needs to be some sort of fucking blacked out screen technique to beat Kimo with that energy. I don't disagree. They are kind of breaking a lot of the laws of our universe.

But then here comes Joe Sun with no shirt and he has to get kicked out by the referee. And this became a pattern for the evening of Joe Sun bursting into the ring shirtlessly. So then they announced that now they tell us that Hoys is completely fucked up and he came into this with a neck injury and he just looks like he can't even stand. Like they're just like carting him out and he can't walk.

And there we go. That's the quarterfinals. It's such a fucking maniac fight. I never expected like my notes coming into that. You could see just where it turns. I'm like oh I want to root for Kimo because he's the street fighting preacher and that's just such a good character. But we've been taught that Gracie could just you know especially

grappling if he's going to try grappling and then Kimo just brings that fucking maniac juice just drinks all of his maniac juice and runs at him. It's fucking crazy. It should have worked. It should have worked if you're that beat the shit out of Hoys Gracie. Yeah.

So then now we find out that Keith Hackney broke his hand on Immanuel Yorba. Oh is that what happened? You might you might be surprised at this but he broke his hand after the repeated bare-knuckle punches to the back of a man's giant skull. The other thing about those punches they started showing in slow motion and he is missing so wildly like you're never

going to have a more stationary target than this and he is like throwing these crazy straight armed like the straight golf swing. What is this like? So like even on a good impact it looks like he's going to just you know like hyperextend his arm and he's like missing and hitting the shoulder and the top of the head and just his arm should have ripped off at the elbow is my point.

It's done nothing and that fight would have ended the same way. He would have just sat there until he was too tired to sit there anymore and that would have been the end of the fight. It was the earth to version of Brock Lesnar's punches in MMA Brock Lesnar in his MMA career would throw these little fucking lunchbox hammer fists with like right four inches of space but they were accurate and they but eight gorillas of

power. Yes, exactly. Keith Hackney's were the the inverse of that. They were from a distance like the maximum distance you can possibly imagine. They barely made contact. They didn't do anything. They were horribly inefficient and they were like it's just

the polar opposite. That's Kempo Karate right there. So he's being replaced with Felix Lee Mitchell. Yeah, it was the 1993 Wushu Kung Fu Champion. That's not a thing. US Army Boxer. Yes, not a thing. And a US Army Boxer with a record of 3-1-1.

So an above average amateur boxer. He's a first level master of Shaolin Kung Fu. First level. And he looks like a corrections officer. Yes, and a prison guard. Multiple sub-its are law enforcement officers. It's true. That's where they get their alternates from.

He looks like a generic creator wrestler. Like you can't describe this man. He's just kind of a dude. He comes in. He's got his own little Gracie train. His own little battle Konga and his trainer. It's just him and his trainer though. And so he's just got his hands on this man who kind of looks

like Nick Swanson playing an aging pervert. And he's just a he's standing straight up. I don't know how to describe it other than it looks like like a zombie sort of being led by someone who's figured out how to get the zombie not to bite them. It just it's the most unintimidating, unexciting entrance from a man with zero personality, the perfect replacement. And he comes in wearing gloves.

Nobody learned anything. Nobody learned a single lesson from the first UFC. Nobody even watched it. It's not just that he's wearing gloves. He's wearing foam like vinyl dipped foam karate gloves. Like the gloves that your kid would wear in point karate tournaments. And the best part is he gets in the ring.

Ken Shamrock enters the ring and he immediately takes them off. I just realized this is a real bad idea. Shit, I gotta get rid of these. Ken Shamrock looks like he wants to eat me. He wants to just unhinge his jaw. He would if he could and just swallow me like a snake. I'm going to take the gloves off. Maybe he thought like it was a glove fight and they saw Ken Shamrock.

Oh, no. No gloves. Oh, we're not. We're not doing gloves. We're like he didn't get off his pants to match Ken Shamrock's panties. Yeah, that's maybe true too. Ken Shamrock is a very intimidating looking man. In addition, just he comes in there like he's so happy to be there.

Like, yeah, like just an excited dog that's waiting for the command. The early UCs were known for their like logistical failure points. And like Fred Eddish was told he was going to fight about seven minutes before he fought. So like I wouldn't it wouldn't be surprised at all if like no one knew what the rules were at all at any given time. But here's a fun rule clarification. As they're fighting, one of the announcers says you get fined and the money that you are fined goes to the guy you like foul. There's no eye gouging or biting, but you're not disqualified. You find a thousand dollars and that goes to your opponent.

Which is amazing because they also says that you get five thousand dollars for winning. We already know that. So you gouge out two eyes and you're still making three grand. Three grand. You give him two thousand dollars to fix his eyes. Whatever to buy a stick to see and a dog. So this fight is really funny to me because this guy who's a boxer just does nothing. He has no reflexes.

He doesn't throw any punches and Ken Shamrock just kind of walks in and gets double underhooks. Like the easiest, safest entry to grappling anyone's ever had. He's just like, are you just going to let me walk up and hug you? Okay. Okay, I'll do it. And then he kind of does nothing with it for what seems like four hours. Ken is unusually tired at this point, too, by the way. That's true.

He's kind of... He's kind of exhausted. Yeah, he was pretty winning. He had already broken his hand in the first fight. Like he was like, he was just not... He was like, oh, whatever. Just designing those punches. And there were like rumors at this point that...

Cause like we didn't mention that Hoist left the chemo fight fucking exhausted. Like they were literally carrying him out of the ring. And so there was already rumblings that Hoist might not be able to fight. And the whole point, the whole reason Ken came back for this one was to fight Hoist again. And so like his motivation is gone throughout most of this fight. He's just like, he's in the standing clinch forever with Felix. And then Felix grabs his panties, which is the ultimate leverage. Ken can't do anything when you're grabbing his panties.

But he does finally let go and he fall. And then once that happens, it's over pretty instantly. But Ken gets up and he just looks like he got put together wrong. Like his foot's on sideways and shit. And so it looks like this guy is out of the tournament too. So now they have like a tournament mostly made out of men. They designed this tournament around... Even I could tell they designed it around those two.

They were like, we have these two. We have a little bit of budget left over. Find whoever's funny. The poster for UFC 3 ahead of the event was literally Ken and Hoist squaring off. It was called the American Dream, the rematch. Even though it was like a tournament bracket where they're on opposite ends of the bracket. They just figured these two things would be in the end. And they had no system.

Well, they had some system in place, but they had the worst possible system in place for it if this happens. Which was just grab anybody. Apparently both of them were cops. I'm going to assume they were working security and they're like, fuck, you got to fight. You got to get in there. Local cops, that's it. Just local cops. And that'll be a thing through UFC 10.

They always try to get local and then whoever's a tough guy, then more often than not, the local tough guy was some kind of army or law enforcement. Well, we're about to go into the second semifinal match between Harold Howard and Hoist Gracie. And so they play. I was so excited. I wrote down if Howard was allowed to throw glass, this match would be a lock. And it would have been.

It would have been. See, Harold, he can appreciate the grappling more than the others. That's what he's. These are his words because he's a grappler himself as a karate fighter. And I wrote down this quote. I imagine you guys might have too, but he says, for the last few years, he's been creating a system of fighting that brings the karate aspect back into jujitsu. And these are his words, which means that I'm working so that the person does not have to get to grapple you.

So I'm looking forward to meeting Mr. Gracie on the mat, but I'm also looking forward to. He's bringing you to. Yes, he finishes by saying he's allowing looking forward to to allowing myself to let my karate aspect of it take over to. So that is incredible word salad. It's nothing. He said so much about nothing to say. I love him. God, I'm really resisting like the fucking actually karate narrative.

Like I'm really resisting to like be that guy, but fuck it. Like aside from the word salad, even if you like distilled it down into something resembling a coherent sentence, like there's never been a karate aspect to jujitsu or vice versa. So they were like two separate things. I came from Kanala by way of China, jujitsu was like a samurai thing, like pretty much inherent to Japan, slightly influenced by like thousands of years ago. These are like two ships in the night that never pass each other. That's like saying I'm going to bring the winger aspect back into hollow notes.

Like it just it's not. I would like that. I would like that. Not saying I wouldn't enjoy it. I'm just saying theoretically it never happened. I'm telling you, he understands karate like a method, like every method understands karate. You do enough met. There's a point where you're like, maybe I do know karate and he just like stayed at that point.

He just kept the needle stayed steady and it never dipped or fluttered. It just pinged that one area. He's definitely got the energy of someone who's never been like listened to for more than 10 seconds. Like they're like, hey, can you tell me about your style of martial arts? Like he's like, oh, wow, no one's literally no one's ever sat still long enough for me to answer a question. And everybody else has just stopped since like I'm trying to catch a bus here, man. Yeah. Thank you for the myth.

We are not friends like this. So they fight and it's a glorious. Oh, no, wait, it's it's not like hoist. Gracie throws in the towel the second the fight's about to start. I guess he's dying. He just holds on to the ring and dies for a while. They're like, yes, I'm going to do it. He's got to fight me like this.

I'm just going to break him in half. It's like the Gracie family saw they saw Gladdy and they're like, oh, this is a great way to block punches. Then they saw Weekend of Bernie's. They said, oh, this is a great way to fucking win a fight. So they just week into Bernie's horse in there thinking that this would work out for them. And it hit them very quickly. Oh, no, this is not going to work. They realize that he's going to lose to that guy that everybody's going to watch him lose to just just a tweaker on the street that you cross the street to avoid.

Like, no, nobody's going to go to the dojo. The guy that lost up to Waker. Rich the G-Man, I have this in my notes. Rich the G-Man Goins announced hoy says the two time defending ultimate fighting champion champion. I love that. Love it. And this brings me to my favorite ultimate fighting championship moment of all time. I think I mentioned this in the first podcast about it.

I love this. Yeah, I was going to ask, it's this that moment. This is that moment. Do you want to describe this? Howard is just jumping around, got that crazy metha energy and Royce is clearly dying on the side and they finally throw in the towel. Howard is just fucking furious. He was so excited to get to tear the little man apart. He had been apparently inventing a system of bringing karate into Jiu Jitsu, like some sort of Jiu Jitsu roti.

I'm going to take it from him. And he was going to test it. He's going to test it. This is finally what he was going to do. He's going to test his Gracie destruction system and see if it worked. And he was so mad and he runs out and his manager is just runs into the ring and is celebrating. Like his crew is on top of the world. They're all bouncing around him and like, yeah, yeah, yeah.

And then they see how mad he is. And they're like, oh shoot. And then afterwards, doesn't he like go into the camera again and like go on some rant? And like the nature of the rant is like, he's sad, but he's happy and Harold Howard baby. And at the end of it, he's like a little, like he's exhausted just from like existing that long. I don't know. God, the whole thing is so good. It's so great.

I love that energy of like, yeah, you fucking, oh no, yeah, too bad. I'm upset too. Gosh darn it, Harold. We did it. You be all. It's the hype man version of like tripping and then doing a little jog afterwards to make it seem like you didn't just trip. It was really good. And then Kimo and Joe Sun both come down to shirtlessly glow.

So it's just like five minutes of people gloating that hoist Gracie like is very hurt. He runs into the ring. The guy that lost the fight. Yes. Gracie runs into the ring to take credit for the victory of that didn't take place. We kind of skipped over the fact. We kind of skipped over the fact that during the Kimo and hoist fight, there were like four times where Helio Gracie almost like fucking emerged from his sarcophagus to beat the shit out of Joe Son because they were like Joe Son was starting shit with the entire Gracie family. And yeah, because back then they didn't have like corners.

So wherever the fight went to the cage, the corner men would just go and provide like instruction and you had like seven Gracie brothers. Like you had like fucking Helsan and you had Horian back there. You had like half the Gracie team back there, including here on hand job. Yeah. Yeah. All of them back there. And then Joe Son literally trying to like talk shit to them while they're there and like and big John is literally screaming the entire time. Get away from there.

Get away. Oh God. So good. Fuck off the fucking apron for God damn it. This was the perfect time to cut away to Gary B. O. C. looking like why are you cutting away to me? He's also taking out a shirt to gloat. What? Do I get in there?

Is this bucey time now? I'm ready. It's bucey time. You know I'm always ready. To be clear, it just occurred to me that there's three men without shirts on. None of them involved in the fight gloating about a fight that did not happen. It's very messy. It's such a wreck.

It's such a wreck. And then they, this is the point where they realized for the first time, oh, we don't know what to do. We had an alternate to sub in if like you lose right now, but then he threw in the towel and like this is the fight that this is what it's all built around and it's gone. And so they just start like recapping all of the other fights. And they're just like just killing time while somebody back there just argues and tries to figure out what the fuck to do. And Ben Perry does like an instructional of like Brazilian jiu-jitsu. He's like, well, and then he did this with the arm and he goes over here and it's like, and like the other two are just like, what the fuck are you on right now? Like what are we doing during that recap, which was totally useless.

Jim Brown said one thing that was great, which was Jim Brown said, when you're able to punch anybody, you're able to take away all of their skills. He's not wrong, right? He's not wrong at all. He's been hit so many times like he used to know math. He can tell you your skills. They go away. I don't know how to work a screwdriver. I used to be able to jump rope.

Can't now. Couldn't even tell you what it looks like. So of the four winners, only one guy advanced at all. And it was Harold Howard. Oh my God. Who just got in one messed up fight and then just one big haymaker, a guy who can't see punches coming. And here he is in the UFC finals against another alternate, Steve Jenom, a ninja cop. He's the guy from Omaha, right?

Omaha, yeah. He's from Omaha. Omaha Ninja Cop. Omaha Ninja Cop. That's honestly my favorite movie from the makers of Ninja Showdown is Omaha Ninja Cop. Omaha Ninja Cop is good. I cannot believe they subbed in a Ninja Cop to fight the meth head. No fights.

It's his first fight of the night too. It's his first fight of the night. First fight of the ever. Yes. Yes. He's studying ninja too. He's not allowed to bring any smoke bombs. Right.

And his tagline is I'm here to bust the ultimate fighting championship. It's just fucking full ninja shit. I love it. It's just not the first ninja in the UFC. The first ninja was the opponent of Pat Smith in two. That guy, I wasn't here for the two one, but that guy had my favorite pre fight commentary ever. He like does his little shtick and then he goes, hi, my name is whatever. And I'm from Robert Busse's Warriors International.

I came to win. And then his face goes idle for about seven seconds before they cut away. Yes. I remember it. Natalie mentioned it. I came to win. And I'm done. I shut off.

Go ahead. You can keep the camera there if you want, but I'm done moving. I'm done. I'm done. I'm preserving the energy because I'm a ninja. That's right. We listened to the Frank Dukes Ninja podcast and he was talking about how a ninja needs to be like shut off their nervous system so they can like hide in a place for days without

pooping or eating. That's what I did. That's what I totally did. Yeah. That's some Frank Dukes shit. So here we are with that, that every cop thinks he's a ninja and every method thinks he knows karate and we finally got to test it. This is beautiful.

It's so beautiful. This is the country scientific test that we've been trying to run for decades. It just never had the ethics to make it happen until this series of circumstances, a series of beneficial accidents. Just a wonderful turn of events. Clearly there's nothing interesting or crazy that happens in this fight. No, not at all. I think we'll just skip it.

Yeah. We can just skip the somersaulting wheel kick. He tried a flash kick. He tried Giles flash kick in real life. He tried holding down and then up and kick. I can't believe it. The first move was the flash kick. That kick has since been named Rolling Thunder.

It's occasionally done in MMA and once in a blue moon, every five years somebody actually nails one, maybe like 10 years. Yeah, about every 10 years. About every 10 years someone will actually nail it in competition. Credit where it's due, Harold Howard is the first man in MMA to ever try a Rolling Thunder. To ever try doing a forward somersault heel kick at a confused man like eight feet too far away to land. Not even in the same time zone. It's not like a forward roll where he's landing clearly on his shoulders and then rolling forward.

He's doing a straight pro wrestling front bump. He's going off the ground and slamming down full body into the mat. All or nothing. But what if it worked and it ended the fight right there? That's what was playing in his head. That's what the meth was telling him. The risk is worth the reward. Yeah, exactly.

It's not his craziest idea. That's the thing and all the decisions he makes, it's not at all his worst idea. Well, yeah, just of the night. Meth told him to enter this tournament. Meth told him to just not put up a guard. Meth told him to face first karate. Meth told him to just throw hay makers. Meth got him to the championship.

To the finals of the UFC 3. You start doubting meth right now. Yeah, you don't start doubting meth now. So neither one of these guys have any defects. I've got to just write it. When they're throwing shots. I mean, I've been gone with meth all night. They're just slapping against each other, right?

Then Harold gets him in a head. I guess you would call it a guillotine choke and heavy quotes. It's more like a front headlock. But Harold Howard thinks that this is the ultimate submission hold and he puts his entire soul into it. Harold is trying to pull his goddamn head off with what I think he thinks is a guillotine. And they get on the ground and Steve goes for a ninja throat rip. Now, this is something I didn't notice until this time I watched it. But it looks like he sort of reaches down with one hand and goes for like...

He does the claw. He tries to get the claw. Yeah, he does like a little neck claw. He kind of keeps up on it. He's like, oh, yeah, I guess this doesn't work. I saw this in all those ninja books. I saw this in a cartoon. It should work.

I mean, that's kind of most of what happens in this fight. Now, they trade some shots. They scramble and then Jenom gets the mat. Ninja cop gets the mount and he's on top of Harold Howard. He doesn't really do much here yet. It's just Harold Howard's in trouble. So what Harold Howard does is he taps the mat once very firmly to say, I give up and then immediately brings his hand up for a handshake.

As if to say, gosh, darn it, ninja cop, you beat the best. And as they're recapping it, they announced that the ninja cop also invented his own combat system. Yes. The final match of UFC three was two men with no training who invented their own style of own fighting styles. Yes. One a meth head from Canada and one a ninja cop from Omaha. And how was this a legitimate thing after this tournament?

This should be. How did this not end in shame? It's wonderful. But well, they tried to like basically they build UFC four as like the return of voice crazy. Like one that whole and it introduced Dan Severin, who like was a big star for them for a long time. And then five was built around the super fight between Shamrock and hoist, which that's good

Lord. There's that. That's a whole that's a podcast. Not the best fight. Not the best fight at all. And then like after that, then they actually just introduced the idea of titles. In addition to the tournament, they introduced like the very first belts and then that became like a thing that became enough to like sustain it.

But yeah, right. Yeah. And then the big gentlemen is now the UFC champ after one minute and 27 seconds of fighting experience period. Yep. And he would go on to get one more win against a no-name tunic and then lose three straight and then retire. So that was the ultimate fighting champion.

That was the final match where a guy who gave up when he got punched a couple of times and an alternate who would go on to have no fight career, both of which had no training and invented. That was a good idea. Represented themselves in the court of fighting and it's just so good. Yeah. So good. Jim Brown.

Jim Brown had the best quote of the night afterwards when they were showing what was the ninjas? It doesn't matter. Steve Jenner. Steve Jenner. It's Ninja Cop. When they were showing Ninja Cop celebrating, Jim Brown said, I tell you something, Brian, when we see him again, he's going to be in trouble.

So he should enjoy this. Brian comes back and says, yeah, he's a marked man. That is not what Jim Brown meant. Yeah. That's not what he meant, Brian. He meant this was a joke fight. He came in totally fresh for a guy that did not know how to fight at all and was coming down from a meth high and he's going to show up again like he knows how to fight and he's

going to get hurt. I believe this was also the very first time and not the last by any chance imagination where Jim Brown will call him horse Gracie, like he finally got his he got his head around the idea of the Portuguese are, which is pronounced like an H. He got that part, but the other part of his brain couldn't let go of putting an R in there somewhere. So it's not it's not ran job. It's not. No, it's not that.

It's it's it's not ran job. It's hand job. I want to talk about the Harold Howard post fight interview. He says to Ben, he says, well, I told you if it worked, it worked, and it didn't. I didn't. So in the end, it didn't. I love you, children. I love you, wife, and I believe it or not, I love my family too.

And then he just left and Ben screamed at his back, unbelievable, just super great fight or really great fight. Nothing. There's nothing better than that. There's nothing better than that interaction. That was his that was his that's his fighting philosophy is if it worked, it worked. It didn't work. It didn't work.

That's why he tried the flash kick. It didn't. I didn't. And it didn't. So I didn't. Got it. You know what? I'm going to say it.

I think he came on. Is there a final ruling on whether he came on or not? Have we has this been decided in the court of public opinion, whether or not he actually came on? I think he came on. I think we're all trying to come up with some sort of an exit line for the podcast and I told you if it worked, it worked. And it didn't.

I didn't. So in the end, it didn't. I love you, children. I love you, wife, and I believe it or not. I love my family, too. Welcome to the 871st bi-weekly hot dog kumite. Here are your supreme fighters. Three finger Louis, Adam Ruth, a seventh Dan Brand Belt, Adrian H, Aiden Moet, Alpha

Scientist Javo, Armando Nava, Benjamin Siranen, Brandon Garlock, Breanne Whitney, Master of Windmill Style, Chase McPherson, Children Love the Meat Millie, Chris Brower, Curious Glare, Dan B, Donald Finney, Dean Costello, Best Brick Breaker for Best Bottom Brick Break, Dr. Awkward, Eric Spalding, Fancy Shark, Gello, Haraka, Hot Fart, Functionally Invisible in a Navajo White G, Jaber Al Aiden, Jeremy Neal, John, 17th Dan Yellow Belt, John McCammon, John Minkoff, Josh Fabian, Josh S, Ken Paisley, A&M, Laziest Man on Mars, Lyman, Mark, Master of Constipated Tiger Style, Matt Cortez, Matt Riley, Mike Stiles, Moju, N.D., Neil Bailey, Neil Schaefer, Nick Relsen, Nick H, Patrick Herbst, Rianan, Rich Joslin, Sarkovsky, Sammy

Lahey, Toastie God, 42nd Dan Dan Belt, Tom Secoula, Yasarian, and your returning champion, Aaron Crosston, world record holder for fastest vehicular manslaughter with knockout, 7.2 seconds.