The Dogg Zzone by 1900HOTDOG - Dogg Zzone 9000 - Episode 49, Hey, What Are Some Good Shows? ...With Jason Pargin!

Episode Date: November 17, 2021

Special guest Jason Pargin took the reins, giving Seanbaby and Brockway an impossible task: Just name a good TV show. Maybe one most people haven't seen. No mockery! No irony! Just enjoy a thing... They did not succeed!

One nine hundred hot dog. One nine hundred hot dog. Our podcast slams with maximum hype. Say hot dog podcast work. Yeah. When you taste that nitrate power, You're in the dog zone for an hour. Come on.

You know the number. One nine hundred. One nine hundred hot dog. One nine zero zero. One nine hundred hot dog. One nine hundred. One nine hundred hot dog. One nine zero zero zero.

Yeah. Nine thousand. Hello? Am I? Am I doing this again? Are we doing this again? Yeah, this is the second time we do this intro. I didn't learn Spanish from the last time

until with this one. That's a Broadway fact. I didn't learn Spanish in the minutes between between intros. What was your second language in La Scuela? It was Spanish. It just doesn't work.

Education, I'm saying it. I said it so many times. Education doesn't work. Full agreement. Learn from the streets. Take the drugs. Joining us is best-selling author of Zoe Punches the Future and the Dick.

Now on paperback. And our Maximo Macho, Jason Pargin. Hello again. Jason, where can people find your stuff? You can find my more serious columns at jasonpargin.substack.com. Otherwise, I'm on Twitter. Just search for my name.

I'm on all of the things. And the book is called Zoe Punches the Future and the Dick. My next book is out less than a year from now, fall of 2022. It will be called If This Book Exists, You're in the

Wrong Universe. But that information does not help you right now. It cannot be pre-ordered or anything yet. It's still... But it's a great title. Even though I have finished the book,

it's because of the way publishing works. It's still 10 or 11 months away. So, get hyped and stay hyped. And, yeah, I do apologize if the energy is weird. We had started recording the show and then a few minutes into it,

Sean was like, the vibe is weird. The topic we picked, which is critical race theory in our classrooms, is not... It's my bad. It's not giving us the right vibe. Can we just restart this and do

something that's more... I started it like pop culture, whatever. So, we threw together this... I thought I had my head wrapped around it. I was like, guys, I get it. I can explain it.

It turns out I wasn't right. So, quickly got off on to vaccines is the thing. And that's not even part of it. Like, I don't even know... This... What we're about to do fits more with what I feel like is the

1900 hot dog. The vaccines don't work on Turkish people. I've been trying to explain that for months. But let's have... Jason, would you like to explain for the second time, for take two

of what we're talking about today? Yes. We are attempting a positive episode of The Dog Zone, where instead of digging into some terrible piece of pop culture, we are each bringing a show from the world of streaming, something that is fairly obscure,

something that we are betting 95% of you have never seen because you either don't have that service or it's just buried too deep in the menus. And it's one... These are ones that we love, unironically, like, a lot. Yeah, I'm definitely on the wrong

podcast. I don't even know how I ended up here. Is this like a portal situation? Well, I have good news for you, Robert, because I brought C, which is a show about blind people in the post-apocalypse in Canada

starring Jason Momoa and... On Apple Plus, right? On Apple Plus, right, where I know people have it because I see 4,000 Ted Lasso tweets a day. But when I tweeted about C, it was the very first time that it ever been on, I invented tweeting about C,

and it did not get a lot of engagement because no one has seen it or knew what I was talking about. You might have willed it into the world with that tweet. I think I invented the show. I can't be certain, but I do sort of, ironically

and unironically like it. It's a very complicated show. What happened was... Yeah, it's a complicated emotion. I can, ironically and unironically like something at the same time, and I see where you're coming from with C, and you can forget about it

and catch yourself enjoying it, but then you'll also be enjoying it in a different way on a different level in the part of your brain that is incapable of being earnest and loving people, I guess. I think a good example, kind of like the Britannic example of this is where if you...

Someone shows you like a porn parody. Somebody's done like a porn parody of the Sopranos called the Sopornos. And you're watching it because it's like hilarious. I'm listening. And then, but then like a few minutes in

you're unironically getting aroused. Like you realize it's silly and stupid. I don't know, I get ironic boners all the time. You have one now, I imagine. Yeah, you're just wildly underestimating my ability to be shitty

like all the time about everything. Now, when C came out for people... Those of you who have heard it but never seen it, it may be from the backlash because it was one of the shows that launched with Apple's streaming service, I believe, if I remember

correctly. And people were really mean to it but were also really mean to the platform in general. I think there was like an atmosphere at the time where people were like we've got one too many streaming services now. Like we don't... Unlike today when everyone's...

Yeah, just like, bring it on, please, more. And so like the reviews for C and having seen several episodes myself, I feel like are way too mad at the show. Everybody's just really excited to use those

dunking puns. Right. Yeah, I don't see a lot of C puns because I guess that would be ableist. C, they should have called it smell. Jason Momoa can't smell this fall on Apple TV. But Time Magazine,

the execution is an unmitigated disaster, not to put too fine a point on it. C is one of the worst TV series I've seen in years which is not true. Walk a walk. I'm sorry, television has got a lot of stuff worse

than C. Slate, violent, grim and exceptionally silly, it's Bird Box meets great Game of Thrones but stupider. That I agree with. Yeah,

but that's a selling point. He's just said it in the wrong voice. What's stupider? No, it's Game of Thrones, but no, no, it's stupider. Fuck yeah. Sounds like a good time. Here's why I love it. It's...

Every episode costs $15 million or so. It looks so expensive. I was so floored by actually giving it a shot, I had no idea the budget was like going to be this high after you told me to watch it. I just... Where? Where did they get this money?

Apple. This is one reason why there was backlash because it was like Apple's throwing tons of money at all these shows like The Morning Show and all the other ones that launched with the service and people were really big on like crapping on it.

There was a thing at the time where I guess they had Apple made some announcements like all shows would be family friendly. Do you remember that? There was like a backlash because it's like, well, that's going to be boring. But C does not strike me...

No, the aunt gives her nephew a handjob in this show. Hold on, spoilers. Now I'm not going to be aroused with that handjob. They let you know that's coming like three or four episodes in advance.

Just like a good aunt. Pause right here to say there will be spoilers for at least the first episode. But only about the handjobs. Of the shows that we were talking about. So if you haven't watched them and you're planning on watching them and they sound interesting when

we start talking about them, don't be mad at us. Go watch them or something. Probably better. Just like the first maybe couple. Because Brockway only watched the first couple also. Bare minimum Brockway.

Even the first episode of C, which again, it's a... By description, I assume people can understand it's a tremendously violent show. Like it's the Game of Thrones. You don't star Jason Mimola in your romantic comedy.

Oh, you should though. He does a lot of snuggling in this show. Yeah, he plays a guy who has this hatchet type weapon that he chops people with. I love that sword. It's just a giant meat cleaver on like a stick. That's the best fantasy weapon I've ever seen.

It's like a Klingon kitchen tool. To me, that implies like lots of needless little curves and fancy serrations. And it's just a big square block of steel with a hole cut out of it. It cuts you like meat.

And I love it. So you were tweeting about this for a specific reason, right, Sean? And it requires you to explain the premise of the show in some detail. So I want to talk about what I am so enthusiastic

about this show about is that I think a lot of people listening probably have this if they read our stuff is that my brain is kind of wired to picket shit. So I can enjoy things, of course, but everything that sucks about everything sticks out to me like a Zelda boss weak spot.

So when I watch a show, like the bad parts like are just completely glaring. And so this show has the most forgetful and hilarious world building. So they're all blind, but like they'll just like go for a walk in a field or just out in the woods. And I'm like, okay, well, that character's

fucking gone forever. They can't find their way home. So we know what blind is. And then like every three episodes, someone will just sort of do something magic. It's like, oh, no, I'm like a ninja. I can like walk in the footsteps of others. You're like, okay, so some people are magic. Yeah.

It was straight up like, okay, they use a lot of that in the first episode. I was all on board. I'll tell you, I was all on board with like their blind world building. In the first episode, their village comes under attack by the superior force and they've just built a really crude stone wall

at the middle of this hill. But that's enough if your attackers are just a bunch of blind people and they stand on top of the wall and just kind of listen real hard. And they have these guys whose special job is that they lean out over the wall on a rope and just fucking go to town with a flail.

They don't know what's down there, but they're just gonna whip the shit out of everything. I was like, yes, that is great. That is great blind fighting. And then like fucking one of the ladies just does a like a triple flip over the wall and starts spin kicking. I thought we were doing

blind fights. That was a cool game of thrones fights that are amazingly shot and clearly spent months and months on the choreography where there's shoulder to shoulder with their friends and they take a swing and it's like, okay, well now next time he swings he's gonna kill three of his buddies.

He has no idea. I wanted to see like refined windmill style when you just close your eyes and swing in the air over and over again and then just walk forward. That should be one of these fights. Explicitly said this yet, this takes place in a future, in a post-apocalypse

where for some reason like a plague or something has rendered all of humanity blind. And so it's a universe where I guess the way we've been talking about it where I'm like it's just this tribe of blind people, but it's a world in which sight is no longer a thing, right?

And in fact, the idea of seeing is considered heresy. So it gets into this very I'm so dumb. This very creative stuff where there's like this one group of people who can walk very quietly and like your characters will be walking along

and then this other person will be behind them quietly walking and they don't know they're there because to them that's like a ghost because it's like we can't perceive this person they like hide their scent and everything else so it's weird because it's like, oh right there that person's invisible to them but

as with a lot of shows like this, it doesn't necessarily hold up to scrutiny by which you mean thought? More than just a few minutes and it is I realize it maybe is a little bit insulting to the blind to say that in a future

where everyone was blind we would just return to the absolute stone age there would be no technology or learning or I've got a question speaking of that okay the enemy faction that of course is looking for the chosen one

which is obviously they're not looking for the chosen one you're right smelling, I'm sorry smelling for the chosen one are led by it's like a religion and there's a scene in this show where we just cut in on her and she says

she's gonna pray and then she starts masturbating while like praying I'm pretty sure, I've only seen the first episode is she praying to electricity? No, they have like real gods the way she was talking about it

I thought she was masturbating to appease electricity and that's actually why I got on board with this show so if you're telling me that's not right then I'm just gonna be a jerk I think they call concrete and metal they call that god bone and they sort of see everything like pre-apocalypse

is like ancient god stuff God flame was the electricity right? maybe probably she was praying to god flame so she was masturbating for electricity alright, I'm back on board okay, perfect

so I do like the fights as I mentioned they're like high production and it's very clear like someone nerded out with Jason Momot to develop some kind of a blind martial art that's kind of like jiu-jitsu but weirder so he'll like grab somebody and they'll sort of make a specific point to say like

this is how a blind badass would grab you in the dark future he's always just going out of his way to say like this is a special fighting style just for blind people and here's like I think my favorite thing about the show is that he moves around like a weirdo

outside of the fights like it's clear he worked with some kind of a movement coach to create like a slinking panther walk to navigate this sightless world and he uses it all the time he's like constantly breakdancing through crowds of people who I should mention they're the same movement coach

they're just completely walking normal they're like Jason Momot we need you to work with the world's greatest mind for three months to get this liquid traveling right he's like oh it'll be good to get to know the other actors they're like no no no just you Mr. Momot we'll give everyone else I don't know like sticks or something

just walk like normal blind people so every scene it's just slinking through this crowd like a giant monster panther love it that's actually what I tweeted about one of the responses was oh yeah hey my friend did the movement coaching for that show

his name is paradox of course it is I knew the first episode Jason Momot's movement coach was like the enigma or the current or some shit like that so if you watch the show and Jason Momot's slinking through the crowd

just know he worked for weeks and months with a man named you need a guy to invent a walk this is his life this is his career paid handsomely for it maybe listening right now we're not mad at paradox

and I know that we are implying I want to hire you to invent a cool walk for me I know we're implying that Hollywood movement coach should not be a real job it would be extremely hypocritical for any of us to accuse someone else of having a fake job

fair enough but then this let us unfortunately down a rabbit hole of the concept of Hollywood movement coaches because I personally I will admit I feel like Jason Momot is being paid enough that his job as an actor

is to himself figure out how would I like that's what acting is you're meant to blind walk Jason Momot don't outsource this yeah like this is what but he's like no I'm here to look good and tell me exactly how to act

in this in this role Daniel Day Lewis would have been his own movement coach yeah you can I think about poor paradox like trying to find another gig like I bet he was paid very well for this but then like what do you even audition for as paradox do you like

you go to Marvel and you're hey guys got any like snake dudes or I don't know like a llama guy and they'll say yes because they're making 800 mil there's a Star Wars like there are some movies coming like there's 400 of them we're gonna need you'll find work yeah we're gonna need to

invent a lot of stupid ways to move around in this future of ours okay in the movie I am a paradox I am legend the zombies or vampires or whatever those those things were paradox public was the movement coach for those creatures he taught those actors how to do the

exact crawling or whatever which there makes sense because you've got video games like every video games gonna need that yeah you've got dozens of actors who are extras or whatever stunt performers who all have to be playing the same creature they all have to be moving the same

way so there that makes total sense like like the directors decided what he wants to look like this guy's job is to train these people how to do it but it's if you see you know if we showed you a clip of Jason Momoa trying to walk how he thinks

a blind person walks through a crowd it is amusing because he is it's he's putting more into it it would be a very tiring way to move around I guess isn't he's kind of mad at but also trying to fuck the ground like a little bit it's almost

horizontal like he's almost completely leading back in a lot of steps while also scraping this the ground with his giant Klingon butcher knife so in the course of it not to start a tangent on this but in the course of trying to look up this a real job I one of the first

results I got in Google was that for the doctor strange movies and the seven or eight movies in which Benedict Cumberbatch has been playing Doctor Strange if any of you have seen those movies you know that when he casts a spell he has like this complex hand dance he does

and then they paint in the CGI yeah wizard yeah and they pen is the CGI around his hand movements and sure enough he had a hand choreographer you had a finger coach a finger movement coach named

J Funk I think one word oh perfect who is the web boast is the master of the art of something called finger tutting Q T finger tut or finger tutting the fact that Benedict Cumberbatch paid

whatever he's paid to act as Doctor Strange and like okay we are a wizard so your one thing you do is you wave your hands around to do magic and whatever he did at that first day of rehearsals prompted them to say like

okay we've got to hire somebody hands over his head flailing around making seagull noises it's not enough for the director to tell him well here do it like something like this where you're kind of shaping magic in the air it's like no no we got to bring

out a guy to teach him how to do it because this is not working every spell looks like a wanking motion Benedict Cumberbatch would you have a second you don't have a second circle let's make a fucking circle what's wrong with you slow wank

Jason you've probably seen Conan the Destroyer we've talked about that on the show and because it seems like Mako did not have a hand movement coach because when they do like the wizard fights he like squishes his fingers together and crosses his eyes and that's it that's how he does his magic that's how magic used to work back in the day

it's really advanced it just it's a finger-tutting well see and maybe I'm way off base here but I feel like if back in 1980 whatever year that was made that if they told you like they cast you as a wizard

and you're like well I need somebody to show me how to do wizard stuff with my hands I think they would just yeah okay well now we're casting somebody else I'll let you know Mako thank you for coming in yeah that's right because this is like you've been cast as a wizard

this is literally the bare minimum you can be asked to do here right it's not like you could practice a couple things and be it's not like you've been cast to play Eddie Van Halen and the David Lee Roth biopic and you need to learn how to

play guitar this is just no one knows what wizard hand movements look like in theory you can't do it wrong because no one in the audience could be like ah you couldn't cast a portal doing that but it's like no

I have nothing to compare it to but that just doesn't look right to me we better bring in a finger-tutting coach I'm surprised you didn't make reference to the new biopic of the guy who invented finger-tutting that seems like that would have been a better reference to Eddie Van Halen

because they are making several competing finger-tutting films coming out this year what are the titles of those films Sean? oh let's see I don't have anything prepared but I guess you could call one of them Tutting Around I think that would be a good one

I think Brockway do you have any finger-tut titles Tut King Tut King was good looks great again it's one of those things where they've just got this amazing budget and it's going to be on like Paramount Plus or something but I heard they're spending

$200 million on it we did have in this slack we were talking about this and we came up with funny movie titles but I honestly don't remember them I know you were setting me up for like a bit but I don't remember I'm going to look them up right now Summertime Tutting Summertime Tutting

that was yours I'm glad you remembered this is not the way improv works by the way one person does not just tell someone else that you're supposed to you're supposed to bring something of your own and then if they want to join then they can

you don't just yell at someone like then what is he doing but here's the one I wrote it was called Fingers Jackson and the Tut Blading Rads in Goin' Tuts and then I corrected that to Barry Gordy's Fingers Jackson and the Tut Blading Rads in Goin' Tuts

which I think is solid that's how you do improv you look up a joke you wrote three weeks ago you have to scroll up and then you beat it you go to your works like ask the audience just give you a minute we'll cut all that and make it sound like it's totally normal improv

I guess the more we talk about C the more we're going to get into spoilers but I do think you should go into this knowing it's pretty fucking stupid but like high production stupid and it has that Game of Thrones thing where the cast splinters and 80%

of them are just boring and stupid you don't care about it but then Jason Momoa will redeem an episode by just massacring 15 dudes with his giant blade and masturbating to electricity I mean from me and people like me people who have similar things wrong with them

that's what you need to be sold on a series in the very first episode the high priestess of the sightless society who lives in a dam masturbates to the electric god and you don't see you don't see like

genitals it's just the woman you see her from like the waist up and it's clear hold no hope for episode 2 it's clear that she is finger-tutting herself because she is drumming or whatever people say these days

she does remind me of my favorite thing about shows like this in the post-apocalypse where no one can really agree on an accent so some people are doing like this high fantasy Peter Dinklage Dungeons & Dragons voice and other people are like Jason Momoa is like growling through it and then

that lady that finger-tuts herself she's Dutch I think and she just brings like her regular Dutch accent with like Dutch energy goose so she's like I'm going to jerk off in the heart now and like that's how she delivers every line that's how she

that's how she comes she comes very dutchly that's what I sound like when I do it too so we're doing a terrible job of selling anybody on actually watching this show but it's a good I think it's a good Dutch

orgasm in the first episode there's a great Dutch orgasm to the electric god I don't know how to sell a show better than that it is no joke a very creative idea because in lots and lots of fantasy universes they have a thing

this Game of Thrones does this it's a trope now where magic is gone or banned from the world and then someone is trying to bring it back well in this world they think that sight is mythological the way that we think of magic

so the concept of being able to see out of these things in your head they'd be actually having this other visual view of the world they can only describe it in these abstract magical terms because it's been totally lost

and then in the very first episode this is not spoiling too much because it is the entire premise of the show that kicks it off a baby is born that can see thus the title of the show which is a huge thing because now this is like a superhuman magical

weird heretical thing that this baby could do so no, you cannot think about it too hard it falls apart within seconds of thinking about it that it is a very fun idea and it's clear they're having fun with it

that nobody in the show know the characters are not winking at the camera like they are all taking it dead serious how would that be? Jesus Christ I got to get off a little tangent here

I love this idea it has like a personal connection to me because when my last dog Roger he went blind but he was just so stubborn and it kind of happened over a little bit of time but quickly so that he didn't seem to understand that he was blind and he wouldn't accept any help so

like he really knew the best he just really thought like all the lights in the world went out he thought nobody could see at all anywhere so he might as well know just as good as you do and I love that somebody was like that's a great premise for a fantasy show

it's like that's the most ridiculous thing because clearly all sorts of animals can see and like if you lose the ability to see like a bear didn't they never said the bears can't see so they must just every squirrel that kicks their ass they're just

how do they know they're fucking psychic or something like they have lost they still live in the forest they still live like in the middle of nowhere with just everybody else has the superpower it's one of the most ridiculous things to be the foundation of the series and I love it

I love anything that is just brave enough to be that that boldly stupid and say yeah but you know come with me on this you're constantly reminded of every second like just a guy walking across the woods you're like this is so stupid

for 11 different reasons and it's it just keeps my mind activated the whole show I just I love when something is yeah I mean walks across those woods into a like a set that's clearly 12 million dollars that they're gonna use for one episode it's incredible right yeah just glovelessly pawing

at sharp things like you'd think everyone would be wearing gloves if you have to like hand touch your way through the brambles every day but no it's nothing yeah that fight choreography is great there's a lot of like creative little touches it's it's it's fun

it is I realize we're gonna go back to making fun of some element of the show in any moment now right but that's us it is worth watching if you go in knowing what you're what you're watching

because obviously if you sit there you would think well okay if because this is hundreds of years in the future of not having sight in reality humans hundreds of years from now a civilization without sight we would just have totally rebuilt civilization around not having sight and it would be fine

like you can you can adapt real good without humans are very adaptable but that's the premise of the show like no because they have like a religious belief where it was technology that like ruin the world so they like don't tinker with any of that stuff because that was that that was dangerous

or whatever so that's their excuse for Horizon Zero Dawn similar setup where it's like they've got cultural reasons for not having rebuilt the world it seemed like they were counting sight as part of that technology like when they gave that screen in the first episode

she was talking about how like there were wildfires and there was poison in the air and that's why you can't talk about like sight being a thing so they thought like sight was like a forbidden technology we used to have which is just again I love it it's so dumb but it's

dumb in a great direction let me let me give the listeners another example they when the heroes in the first episode are having to escape from a crisis they come to a ravine that they believe is totally impassable because a blind person tries to cross it well it turns out there was always a bridge

there no no no that guy there they're like savior guy that could see built that bridge for them but it was but they just didn't know it because they couldn't see it right like they it's been there for like a year or something like

eight months yeah that's fair the point is it it does seem like somebody would have stumbled across it but maybe not maybe I'm maybe I'm the one who's wrong but there's a whole thing of like them kind of

pawing around at the edge of the ravine and it's like oh there's a bridge here it's the show just asked you to come on board with it and it's like look this ravine represents your suspension of disbelief either you will follow us

across this rickety bridge or you won't I think the thing that takes me out of the story more than anything is that there's still like a very treacherous people like they're still like most of them are pieces of shit and kind of want to murder other people but they live in a world where you could just

like throw a rock at somebody and no one would have any idea who did it like if you hit them it would be amazing right but you could just throw 11 rocks they'd be like hey who was throwing rocks are you throwing rocks they'd grab you and you're like

I'm Mike I'm not even me and they're like alright how would I know like you could just do anything so it seems like the first thing you would do once everyone goes blind is stop being pieces of shit but they don't they're also all wearing clothes like when sight goes away

there's no reason to put on like accidentally like touches you and it's like oh your your dong is hanging out it's like well yeah that's your fault for touching me like otherwise you would never know like you shouldn't you shouldn't have your hands down there that's kind of what I thought was happening

in the electric masturbation scene I thought that she was just like well gonna just jerk off right now I mean why not yeah no one will know didn't realize it was gonna be a thing I would love it if several extras were jerking off every scene just because they do it

just in the background somewhere they're having like a meeting like his council meeting like six of the councilmen are just jerking off because each one individually thinks well nobody's gonna know if I just start cranking cranking my hog while he's talking it's like as long as I do it silently

you know it's they're not gonna they're not gonna hear and then it turns out they're all doing except for like one of them anyway that's episode three it would be an easy porn parody to make not a lot of pun to be had of semen that's done but

again there is no porn parody because no one is searching for a C porn parody because no one is watching C we will never know how many people watch or don't watch the show because all of these streaming services just either they totally lie about their numbers or they just don't say anything

because you'll have that stupid thing Netflix does where it's like 40 million people watched at least part of the new Adam Sandler movie and it's like yeah because it auto plays when you browse past it on your menu and you're counting that as a stream

like no I do not believe that 40 million people sought out the new Adam Sandler movie and watched it on purpose but they Jason this is going to terrify you but I saw on Hulu stats that out of death the Bruce Willis film out of death was like their most popular movie last month

no way it wasn't that's what they said like if it wasn't and they claimed that that's crazier yes it's just because if you turn on Hulu it's just a massive picture of Bruce Willis you got to see out of death and you hear the name you're like fuck

yes out of death and apparently enough people started that that it was statistically dominating everything else on the platform I would love to see at one point they stopped that because I guarantee it's like four minutes but that doesn't matter new listeners we did

an entire podcast episode on the Bruce Willis movie out of death you feel free to go find that in the feed it's worth you know watch that you assholes no spoilers watch that too and then come back I maybe think of it because when you

mentioned Adam Sandler the point we sort of came to was like there's this whole like film industry built around one person and Adam Sandler has a film industry built around him that are kind of fine like they're not good but compared to the Bruce Willis film industry that's currently existing it's so much better

like Bruce Willis has like the same 50 people he gives jobs to when he makes a movie shows up they film him for 12 hours they like splice that in the movie however they can boom Bruce Willis ship it Adam Sandler will like take five or six weeks with his best friends to like a tropical island paradise

and make a passable comedy and it's like this is a perfect life all these people are so happy and it's funny just how Adam Sandler was doing the exact same thing as Bruce Willis but just a hundred times better

and more positively and making way way way way more money at this point yes probably for five times the work ten times the work I don't know more work Bruce Willis it's hard to beat him like dollar per minute but anyway

that's the point I was trying to make I think we've talked about C enough I think we should move on to one of your guys' shows let's do my show next let's do Into the Night because I have a feeling everybody's going to really

want to talk about 30 coins 30 coins was my favorite that's what Jason's bringing if you're into the night is also surprisingly good it was surprisingly good and that's why I brought I really seized onto the surprise part because I literally never

I had heard of C and I had had 30 coins added on my list just because I was browsing through the horror section I had never heard of I had never heard anybody mention into the night I had no idea what it was going to be

and I'll just give you the grounding for it real quick it's a it falls a handful of survivors on like a commercial jet like a commercial airliner and they are trying to outrun the sun because the sun has suddenly turned deadly

like neutron bomb deadly and is just wiping out all life on earth so they have to perpetually stay ahead of daylight by you know flying the wrong way around into perpetual night this whole time and about the problems they have doing that and first of all like

all my favorite premises that's at once it's brilliant it's clever it's compelling and it's stupid as shit I love it it's got everything I want in there here's what I love is how quickly they get into the premise like you hear that and you're like okay cool like any other show you'd have to meet a whole bunch of shitty characters like

exactly medical school dropout and the bigot and the ethnic and the mom and and it's like no they've outpaced the log line by minute six they're like boom with us the sun is killing everybody get on the plane and the entire show that's my favorite thing about this show like their characters and the plots can

but the pacing on this show is fucking amazing and if you ever don't understand what somebody says if somebody starts talking about like escalating stakes it's just the most escalating stakes and it's always something it's always hitting that beat it's always

ending on the next one like I kept thinking surely these are like 20 minute episodes because they burn by and I'm like nope one more and we're watching the next one and they're just they start I saw that there's two seasons which seems like extra stupid and impossible but kind of fascinating

like how do you run the sun for two seasons see this this was my this is why I never started watching into the night before prep for this because I have a pet peeve of streaming series is ongoing series is that are

clearly a movie premise it's like no this is a movie like this should be a two-hour movie and so people on a plane trying to stay ahead of the sunrise because the sun has turned deadly like that's a movie that that's you know and it's one tense movie

and then I see like a headline incident I renewed for season two it's like they should make 11 seasons of blank episodes and put them on Netflix just to fuck with people because every season you add to this premise makes me more and more curious the other thing is that the soundtrack

or the score the tension music like there's these drums that play behind it I think if this show was silent I think half of the tension would disappear because it is expert use of like sound sound design and score

like it's it's that you can kind of hear movie tension music in your head this a great example of it yeah that's the this show is one thing and that is like tension and stakes and it's just drives it forever and it gets into it so quickly like it really starts off

with like the one clever thing we have is this premise of like we have to get on a plane out around the sun and you're right there and I would argue it does work for a season like of course in season two they abandon everything I love about it but for season one is just a stand alone

piece of spoiling anything to explain what they do in season two because I'm legitimately curious but I don't want to spoil people who want to go watch the show well just if you're gonna watch season two or you don't want to know then just skip ahead about 30 seconds

they they find a safe place to like land and there's a bunker under like a lake or something that keeps them safe and then it's just like every other it's just like walking dead or every other post apocalyptic show becomes that exact same thing

where the real the real enemy is people in society and I'm just done with it but for one season they maintain this fucking mad cat pace and it was so good and compelling and I tore through it in like two nights and one of the other reasons I brought it

is that it is based on a book on a polish sci-fi novel and it's called The Old Axolotl and uh yeah and here's it's based on the book and they say

you know it's based on this book that they got official permission and everything here's the description of the book The Old Axolotl an exhilarating post apocalyptic tale about a world in which a cosmic cat catastrophe has sterilized the earth of all living things alright you're on board so far right

yeah that's one that's one sentence where's that axolotl come in only a small number of humans have managed to copy digitalized versions of their minds onto hardware in the nick of time deprived of physical bodies they continue to exist by uploading themselves onto gigantic industrial robots

sophisticated medical machines next designed for hard labor, military drones star troopers and sex bots based on Japanese manga drowning in nostalgia for the lost world the survivors create civilization after civilization life after life humanity after humanity

forming alliances and fighting wars they develop their own politics, ideologies and crazy hardware religions and they face dilemmas no one has ever confronted before what makes us human is it possible to copy a soul who really lives, fights and dies in those metal bodies

who plays out the melancholy drama of physiology and the flesh the old axolotl depicts the reversal of old oppositions between life and death progress and stagnation the organic and the mechanical exploring the mystery of the human soul and the eternal solitude of the human individual

whether trapped in a body or the reinforced steel of a robot now to be clear season 2 of into the night is not that season 2 is not that it's just skip ahead if you don't want to know it's just them in a bunker

so they took literally the first sentence of this the old axolotl is an exhilarating post-apocalyptic tale about a world in which a cosmic catastrophe has sterilized the earth from all living things and they were like ok but it's on a plane and everything after that just fucks off

it's speed on a plane is what we're doing and your weird experimental book about fucking sex bots based on manga and what it means to be human in like book 6 of dune here there's also just a ton of stuff about how the book was like

playing with the electronic format hypertext and 3D printable models of characters embedded in there and they took and they made this this one show about quick-paced fucking running from the sun thing but but it is getting a spin-off

the show did well enough not only did it get a season 2 it's getting a spin-off we'll get that cyber into the night where they upload themselves into combat bots and sex robots no it's just set on a submarine specifically this is what Wikipedia says

a Turkish language submarine spin-off called into the deep will be released next year is that why is it Turkish? it's just Turkish they love submarines

because the Turkish version of any sci-fi movie usually kicks all kinds of ass I would actually watch a Turkish just straight remake of 100%

those movies may not be the same as what I'm picturing in my mind I don't think those are mainstream Turkish movies the ones you're thinking of but that's fascinating Robert they bothered buying the rights to that book because clearly they didn't need to

they could just if you just made a show about people in a plane trying to outrun the sun that author of that wouldn't be like hey that's the book I wrote because it's clearly that goes to court and you're like

there's no fucking Japanese man got sex bots this isn't about humanity building themselves out in the digital age but the sun kills them judge you're on or the sun kills them isn't there at least one Nicholas Cage movie where there's a sun apocalypse

I love that he gave his official permission and I went looking for the book like I wonder how the book is and then got this crazy fucking Neuromancer meets Dune of this very simple show about how this plane can't land

plane can't land is what the show is called what's the deal with axolotl they're like they regenerate right? what's that word you're saying? axolotl why is the book called that? I'm assuming it's because an axolotl

it's kind of like a salamander like creature and they can regenerate so it's all about humanity regenerating I guess in different forms that doesn't apply to into the night Netflix didn't choose that as the title

it's called the old axolotl but what is it about well these guys on a plane the plane is named the axolotl because you know how we name planes like old pirate ships anyway it's a great show that's really all I had to talk about it it's a simple show

but you'll burn through season one I had never heard of it yeah it's only six thirty minute episodes per season you can watch it all in one day if you consume TV the way people do now if you consume TV like everybody

where you just sit there and disassociate for six straight hours and watch it as one one long thing we did want to talk about 30 coins this is an HBO show that's out of Spain that my

reading into it apparently is a big deal in Europe and the show clearly has a budget not just because of monster CGI stuff but in the course of the show they not only are shooting in several cities around Spain but they're scenes in New York, Paris, Jerusalem, Geneva,

Rome and that was all shot on location so this is a serious show and then I guess in Spain's version of the Golden Globes like their awards for TV and movies it swept like every category so I suspect this is a big deal in Europe

but for whatever reason I only saw it because I think I saw somebody on Twitter talking about it and I dug through HBO's menus and found it but I never for me I never had HBO's the HBO Max app like presenting it to me as

yeah me neither and this is literally all I look for this is like the only thing I look for on HBO Max and it did not give this to me I did find it on my own and arrived to it but it was because I just dig through that horror category and I had whatever

now like into the night it is foreign language it is subtitled but it's so maybe they like maybe HBO doesn't I feel like they've got a lot of foreign language shows that they actually do kind of put front and center but maybe they some of them

maybe they pick and choose and think well maybe people don't necessarily want to watch a show out of Spain but to me like to spoil at least the first episode like toward the end a giant spider monster with a baby's head a giant baby for a head

it's chasing a the protagonist priest and another and a woman into that priest and his church and his chapel whatever and he runs to a wall and opens a secret panel revealing his giant rack of machine guns

and then he grabs one and starts dipping the bullets in the holy water I feel like that is the universal language like that scene I feel like HBO should be saying oh well if you're not from Spain you won't get what's happening here this is like

the subtle references to folklore this this you don't like this I encourage you to fuck yourself like that's fucking awesome yeah in every way so it is a basically it's Lovecraftian horror that what I just described if that sounds like an evil dead type

of thing it is in no way being glib or slapstick no one is winking at the camera no one is like saying whoa what a crazy situation we're at everyone plays it dead straight and the premise is that there's this

it opens up like the very first thing you see in the show is like this remote control zombie walking into a bank or something and shooting up the place and stealing a coin and you realize that this evil group

of priests is trying to collect the 30 coins that are the coins that Judas was paid to betray Jesus because by assembling them all into one spot it will like summon Satan and let them take over the world or whatever

and so to stop them there's this one ass kicking priest basically the hero of the show who's this chain smoking tattooed priest who spends all of his spare time like boxing, shirtless and he's the type of protagonist

that who would it be if this was an American movie who would they cast as that it would be someone who looks Danny Trejo cause he's sort of like Dave Bautista maybe yeah Dave Bautista would be good

Jason Momoa all the cast to see the Dutch lady that jerks off in the tub and so yeah and he is the type of priest who like he's fighting the powers of evil

with actual physical weapons because the powers of evil aren't manifesting themselves as that number of very creative monsters and it is just spectacular I personally believe that

a thousand years from now the events of this show will be considered canon by the Christian church like I think they will just have made this part of the Bible Bible 3.0 at that point there's so much that happens in this show like just in the first episode

that that zombie remote control thing Jason mentioned happens it's like 5 minutes and he goes into a bank it's coin comes out gets in a car you're like no words are said and you're like I know 50 things about this show it's such a great scene it's such a killer opening and it just

it really nails I'm like he doesn't register it doesn't care it's not a big deal he's not mad about it he's not glib about it it's just like that zombie is all business and I immediately

like oh shit this is fucked up I've seen this scene this exact scene like a million times but because of the way they play it where he's just sort of robotically walking through this horrible scene and that that show does that so well like so many times there's like something you think

you've seen before but the way they play it is makes it special and then like every shows got like a second or third sort of like barely related X files thing that festers into a full on Resident Evil battle with puzzles and traps

and then there's also they almost fuck with the audience and the other characters because like obviously the bad guys are very treacherous but then the priest is always kind of like trying to gaslight people to be like yeah he shouldn't believe that this is satan shit like he he sometimes doesn't believe it himself and so you're like

you're never quite sure how much is happening and on a show this like well made like every choice feels very intentional so okay it's all clearly happening and he believes it but he feels like duty-bound that he says a bunch of times like don't open

your mind to this don't like accept this as reality because this is just if you do this is going to be your reality yeah and so he's always like coaching people on that like ways that they can deny plausibly deny what they've just seen even if it's absurd and it's frequently super

absurd like fucking baby spider monster comes in and attacks this woman and he's like oh well you know you were really scared you were probably you know hallucinate there was like a there's like some shadows that might have looked I got I got like a little cut out of a baby spider monster

up on the window and you know the window is moving around yeah dude yeah I like all the it subverts a lot of expectations like a good example is like the hunk mayor like he's this this huge buff guy that would be he looks just like the punisher

he would be the the hero in any other show but in this one he just completely sucks he never wins a fist fight and I love it shitty marriage to the town fish wife and he pines after the town's only hot girl like there's all these monsters running around he's like fussing about what social media is going to think

of their hick town and he's like I just like it because they seem to see when he came in and pick up a pumpkin he's just like these big gym muscles that are just for show and again maybe they cast the wrong guy like maybe they he was supposed to be like but

again I think everything's intentional I think they want us to think this this guy's going to do it but he just fucks everything up and also it takes place in because you mentioned social media it should be made clear it takes place in modern day but they live in this small town that appears to be from the middle ages

like it's right I kind of look maybe this is close minded of me I've never been to your I just assume that's what Europe is like yeah well that's not it's the same thing whenever an action movie goes to Mexico and they do like that yellow filter on the screen

we all just assume that Mexico is just these dusty old western towns made of adobe and obviously in reality that's not so but this is it's a real town that I guess is like an old fort that have become a town maybe

it's yeah like a little castle village that they modernized yeah so I guess it is like it wasn't a an invention for the show because it's if an American show was set in Spain and it looked like that I would think oh this is extremely racist

like they Spain is a modern country it is not it is not stuck in the 1700s but no but it's a great setting and there's like some visual for covering ground that you've seen

a million times or played in a million video games there's some visual that sticks in your head multiple times in episode like everything about the creature design everything about just the way they stage action is that fucking giant baby from the first episode

I know it turns into the fucking scorpion baby monster but even just the giant baby form he was scarier as a giant baby it's like holy fucking shit get that thing out of you it's a baby as tall as a human but with the proportions of a baby so its head is like

the size of your torso and it's doing baby stuff and because again the show the first episode first thing you see that remote control zombie very next thing you see a human baby being born out of a cow third thing you see the tattooed chain smoking

priest wailing on a punching bag and you realize oh this is the town priest the next thing they ask him to come look at the baby that came out of the cow he's like ah it's probably a hoax probably there's somebody stuffed a baby in there whatever and the next thing you see is them him like moving in

his boxes of machine guns because he knows what's coming and then it just goes from the next thing you see they go to follow up on the baby and it's now giant and it just keeps going it keeps going from there and everyone in the show is just dead serious about

all of it I thought I knew exactly what this show was and this is one of the reasons I had it on my list and I didn't watch it is because I've watched so much horror that when you give me a very vague description like you know this priest flights evil that may or may not exist in a small town

I'm like okay well I'll probably end up watching that because I watch everything but I've seen that so many times before I know what religious horror is I know it's gonna be this priest facing down like oh it's this guy's gonna be possessed it's gonna be a little spin off the exorcist

maybe they do a little of their own thing he's gonna wonder whether I'm not God it's real and whether or not demons are real and this show is like nope giant baby fucking giant baby flesh scorpion monster go remote control zombies heads up motherfucker

you guys skipped over one of my favorite characters there's a town idiot who's like this special needs dude with these huge goofy like country hick teeth and what he does is he basically explains to every other character precisely what's going on but no one believes him because he's an idiot

but he'll like straight up walk into it and be like oh yeah that guy's the devil he just did a whole bunch of shit with the fog and alright I'm done and he'll just sit down and have a beer and no one believes him but shut up idiot every episode like oh no no no someone raised the dead that guy's a zombie

okay okay crazy guy they keep saying that the mayor especially is really concerned about looking like he lives in a hick town do you think in Spain the hick towns are all in like 17th century ruins

they might be I like to picture it that way that's how I'm doing it now all of their hillbillies are just living in like beautiful dilapidated fortresses I just watched an old episode of MacGyver for the site and MacGyver infiltrated like some Spanish village in the

best countryside and it did not have a castle but it looked like a little hick village but they still had inflatable boats I mean they were pretty modern oh I'm pretty sure this one has a castle yeah this show has a castle there's a castle in this village and this rural hick village occupied by hillbillies

it's hard to talk about the show I don't want to spoil anything people are watching we've spoiled just so much well we've spoiled completely that first episode but it's you have to this is a case where reading the description or watching a trailer for it is probably

not going to convey what you're getting and I'm telling you the fact that we've given away some of the most shocky moments of that first episode that is this is not a show that has like shot its wad in the first episode and then it's just kind of petering out after that

it's it only keeps getting stranger from there but it's uh no this is exactly because I realize we're describing it as being very good and then also at times describing it as just extremely stupid but that my thing

my whole thing in my genre is very well crafted trash yeah you can be both you can be real good and real stupid yeah in fact those are my favorite things the netflix mega hit peaky blinders it's like one of the bbc's all time

most popular shows that is a show that is the most gorgeously crafted trash you will ever see it's currently trashed like it's hyperviolent and there's nudity and it's ludicrous that it is so polished and so well done and the performances

are great and it's like yeah this is my this is my thing speaking of nudity 30 coins has some real like 90s throwback gratuitous nudity like the hot girl agreed to do some nudity and they're like alright sweet we're gonna just barely not show it go in

for like a solid minute it's see I'm only on like the second episode that's a lovely surprise to me does she masturbate to the electric god that's the only thing I was missing does not need to yes she can get it

oh I know what that means she fucks the electric god hell yeah no because of the shows like the implausibly hot mayor like he stands out as being I don't know if he's like a superstar in in

Spain like if he's maybe a famous actor see this is a thing that I never I don't know because that was the same thing like in in squid game like some of those people are super famous it turned out and I had no idea because you know I have a narrow-minded

Hollywood century view of the world but yeah that sense here though the implausibly like I don't think any actual mayor in America is as sexy as this dude like it's it's just distracting how full honk like he

takes his shirt off like I can't hear what anybody is saying because it's like okay that's there's no it's wonderful but I think it's such a good choice for that character because he's also just a total dipshit

and he's wildly incompetent like it's sort of a realistic depiction of what an absolutely stunningly beautiful man who has never really had to do or learn anything is now like faced with the impossible with facing down like the devil's army

and this is how it would turn out and I love it and he fucks it up at every step like this guy just can't catch a break yeah he's missing a chunk of flesh in every single episode he's like all right I'm missing an arm a dog bit my neck yeah and his and it's clear

early on like his his cranky wife is not like she's you know kind of one of the antagonists says it turns out like she's clearly not on board with what they're doing and and all that and he is he's going to remain

clueless to that fact for a very long time which makes sense again is perfect for his character yeah she could just wear name tags his time bomb and he would he fucking missed it like this character walks in the room you're like okay yeah the girl with the resting bitch face

is gonna be trouble later I do get the sense I get that same sense that I feel like every major character in this show is probably a huge star in Spain like household name and so it's really funny to me that like Spanish Brad Pitt is the bumbling dipshit

in this whereas Spanish Bob Hoskins is your priest hero that's part that's the one that's a Bob Hoskins role yeah because some people would have cast yeah the ripped dude and as the the priest the priest would come in to be like the

implausibly sexy priest and the priest instead they cast someone who does look like he could kick your ass like he looks like a guy because the whole point is like he spent some time in prison and all that and yeah he they cast that part well have you guys seen there's a

I think it was even a Spanish movie with Mickey Rooney back in the day and he he went crazy and thought he was a giant baby and he it's just as terrifying is this real or is this a real thing so looking up Mickey Rooney played a giant baby in this movie and it's

truly terrifying in the same way the giant baby isn't here in fact it might have been him what was the name of this movie Sean that you're talking about is it the Milky Life it cannot be called that oh no no that's from 1993 I think it was

before that there was a movie made in 1993 okay if this is a different movie retired billionaire Rooney feels his family loves only his money and not him he plans to live as an adult baby with his wet nurse Sage Brecht when thieves break into

his mansion and hit him on the head he starts to grow younger there cannot be two movies what year was that made 1993 found more content for the site yeah we gotta do we gotta do something there's no way we're not covering the Milky Life

the Milky Life oh so it's so I was not mishearing oh I'm sorry it's La Vida Lactia La Vida Lactia um okay hold on I'm looking for

a trailer for pump those juicy tears oh no I've I've got the entire movie on YouTube okay give me a moment give me an hour and 17 minutes 90 minutes

I'm just gonna scrub through here and try to we're doing a live watching of the Milky Life now Jason's gonna lead us through it this is extremely poor quality for something that's 1993 because they had working Jesus Christ okay

uh here's him getting a sponge bath a nude sponge bath and he's interested for the electric god I'm assuming okay I'm gonna cook electric god

the phrase the Milky Life is that a play on words that I would it would be insane if it wasn't if it was just out of nowhere if they came up with this and it's called the Milky Life and that doesn't mean

something in Spain that's gotta be what you call that fetish when you wear the diaper yeah that's that fetish when you realize your family doesn't love you and somebody hits you on the head so you actually become the adult baby that you were pretending to be

to annoy your family hey I think that's very erotic that sounds very erotic it's terrible when you're reaching the end of your podcast and you just figure out what it's really about yeah it's been the Milky Life this whole time we just needed to find it

correct yeah the craft is not trapped, it's not without send it to the dogs for an hour come on Jean, you can do it one hundred one hundred, Frankfurt

one hundred, Frankfurt one hundred, Frankfurt one hundred, Frankfurt one hundred, Frankfurt we're still looking for his face by the way everyone check your intake filters you will be missed but everyone gathered here today

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J-Burn Al-Aden John John Minkoff we're retiring your number again, in our hearts or on our life vets Josh S Ken Paisley Lyman

all the doubters said you'd never land that 920 Superman backflip and they were right still waiting for you to come down buddy Mark Matt Cortez Matt Riley Mike Stiles Mixmaster Mojo, DJ of the Sea

you're spinning discs for Jetski Jesus now Neal Schafer Nick Ralston Patrick Herbst Rev who never told us his real name and would only answer to the sound of a Jetski motor redlining Rihanna Rich Jocelyn

Sarkovsky Donald Finney Tim Ilehi you should not have tried to make two Jetski's fight while also riding them but if you'd listened you wouldn't have been our Timmy Toasty Guy Tom Sikula and Josh Fabian

the worst Jetski mechanic whoever lived you might have killed all your friends but there's one thing a poorly maintained Jetski can never kill and that's our memories we'll miss you most of all